#and morrigan getting flustered when you thank her is just…
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nanowatzophina · 10 months ago
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Some doodles from my current replay of Rosal’s pt.
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seigephoenix · 3 months ago
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Welcome to DADWC!! How about “Knowing someone else can hear” from the smut prompts for anyone you’d like?
Happy Friday!! For @dadrunkwriting I chose Briar Amell and Cullen for this one. It also got away from me a lot. XD I simply can't seem to write smut without feeling or some buildup.
Content Warning: dirty talk, face sitting, p in v, fingering, old feelings come up again Length: ~2.6k words
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The first thing she saw upon entering Skyhold was a familiar head of curly hair.  Her lips dropped open in a perfect O as she spotted him, older than the last time they’d met.  She couldn’t help but note how well he carried himself but was he still a Templar?  She remembered seeing him get so flustered when she flirted with him.  He’d turn such a brilliant shade of red and stumble over himself with excuses.  Then that one passionate night where he’d caught her reading all alone after midnight.  Words were exchanged as were deep, drugging kisses that led to fumbling around in the dark to prevent anyone else from overhearing them.
Briar had left the Circle not long after that.  She’d been heartbroken to see the hatred in his eyes when she’d returned and saved them from Uldren.  The ice in his eyes had cut her like a physical injury when he’d turned away from her.  She hoped he’d gotten somewhat less bitter towards mages in the last ten years.�� Especially if she was going to help this Inquisition.  She’d even gotten a letter from Alistair and Zevran about the organization.  Morrigan had written that she was advising them, and Leliana was always in contact with her.
“Briar?” She paused at the familiar voice.  Leliana seemed stunned to see her standing in front of her.  “I didn’t think my letter reached you!  It’s so good to see you again!” She rushed forward and embraced Briar, pulling her tight.  Briar laughed and returned the hug just as fiercely.
“I wasn’t sure if my response would get here before I did, so I chose to come instead.”  Leliana agreed it would be a toss up given how correspondence went these days.  “Is Morrigan here?”
“Oh yes!  She’s in the garden.  Come, let’s go see her.”  Briar followed along behind Leliana, ignoring the eyes boring a hole in her back.  She’d find him later.
In the Gardens
“By the stars, it truly is you.” Morrigan whispered as the two women approached.  “It is good to see you old friend.”
“Likewise Morrigan.  I’m happy to see you’ve remained safe in these troubled times.” Morrigan nodded and motioned for Kieran to come out.  “Oh my!  You’ve grown up so much!  The last time I saw you, you were just a wee baby.”  Kieran bowed and greeted Briar.  “He looks so much like you Morrigan.  Thank the Maker for that right?” Morrigan choked on her laugh at Briar’s quip.  They knew Alistair was likely sneezing at that point in time as well.
“Let’s get you settled in a room Briar.  I’m sure you’ll be meeting a lot of people soon.”
“I can’t begin to fathom why anyone would want to meet me.  I’m no one special,” Briar said with a twinkle in her eyes as Leliana sent her a warning glare.  Briar simply tucked her hands behind her head and followed Leliana to the guest quarters.  Once she saw her room she set her travel bag down and then went to explore Skyhold.
Battlements
“I thought I recognized you.” Briar turned at his voice and grinned broadly at him.  “You’re still making waves.”
“Ten years later I still remain a thorn in the side of the Chantry.” Briar grinned as he joined her side watching the courtyard.
“Thankfully they’ve more pressing matters to deal with than the woman who threatened to shake their entire existence.”  Briar laughed at the cutting remark.
“I didn’t have quite that much influence.  Though, I will say, whoever said the Wardens don’t involve themselves with politics needs to be shot.”  Briar propped her hands on her hips as she looked up at him.  “What’s this really about Commander?”
“You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?” Briar grinned and shook her head.  “I didn’t think so.”  Cullen paused as he felt the weight of his next words on his tongue.  “I’m sorry.”
“For?” Briar asked as he hesitated.  Cullen was stunned.
“For my words to you back at the Circle.”  She turned her head back towards the courtyard, and he studied her profile.  Briar Amell was always beautiful, he’d long thought that.  Since the first day he’d met her when they’d both been new to the Circle.  Her face held a serene beauty that reminded Cullen of the moon at times.
“Oh.  I was hurt but I couldn’t find it in my heart to really resent you for them.  Not after what you’d been through.”  His eyes widened at the quiet words.  “Do you still think that about me?”  They both left the words he spoke to her years ago hang between them.  Maleficarum.
“No.  I didn’t really think that in my heart either.  I lashed out due to fear.”  Briar nodded; she understood that feeling too well.  She dug her fingers in her upper arms as she fought the longing in her heart.  He’d often been on her mind the past ten years, but she hadn’t been able to spare any time to reach out.  Not after the Circle incident.  Briar dared glance up at him and saw he was looking at her.  Heat flushed her cheeks, and she turned her attention back to the courtyard.
“I’m.  I’m glad you didn’t think that about me.  I’d never turn to blood magic myself.”  Briar tensed for a fraction of a second when he stepped closer to her, she suppressed the shudder.  Just being next to him was excoriating, her body craved his touch even after ten years.  They were both vastly different people than they were in the Circle.  No more an apprentice and a recruit sneaking away for secret rendezvous.  There was much more at stake in their lives now.  His fingers brushed the back of her hand and Briar swore she felt the touch in the very core of her.  Her heart was beating so hard she was worried it would come out of her chest.  Yet anticipation tingled along her nerves, the air was heavy with the tension between them.
They jolted at the raucous from the tavern shattered the tension.  Briar wanted to laugh at how she was acting, like that first time she flirted with Cullen.  She glanced down and saw Hawke stepping out of the tavern, holding the Inquisitor in a vise-like grip as she yelled something at the open door.  She heard Cullen groan next to her and couldn’t stop her laugh.
“I take it that is the Lady Trevelyan I’ve heard so much about?” Cullen looked at her in surprise.
“How did?”
“Turns out Hawke and I are distant cousins.  Our mothers were cousins back in Kirkwall.” Cullen was surprised but then he thought about it.  There wasn’t much of a surprise there.  “He wrote to me when he discovered the connection years ago.  I’ve visited him while he was on the run in Ferelden.”
“That’s where Hawke was?”  Briar simply shrugged as if to say her lips were sealed and he heaved an exasperated sigh.  Things were never boring in Skyhold since Hawke joined Alissa Trevelyan’s side, which was for sure.  “I’m sorry.” Briar burst out laughing at his deadpan delivery.  Her hand grasped onto his forearm as she doubled over in amusement.
“Don’t be sorry for me.” She straightened and wiped the tears from her eyes as she wound down.  “Be sorry for Thedas.”  Cullen was about to respond when he truly thought about it.  The Hero of Ferelden and Champion of Kirkwall were family, no matter how distantly connected, and the Inquisitor was related by marriage.  Cullen chuckled to himself at the thought of that tangle of political connections.  The silence followed held weight between them.
Briar looked up at his face and decided to throw everything to the wind.  Why should she resist when there was so much tension between them?  So long as he agreed, there was no harm.  “Cullen.”  He turned to face her fully and she paused at the heat burst low in her belly.  He’d always been taller than her, but he was so much broader now.  Her mouth went dry at how much bigger he was than she was.  “You feel it too, don’t you?”  His eyes widened and she saw the same hunger in his eyes that she knew was in hers.  “Want to throw caution to the wind and be stupid again?”
Briar let out a startled sound when his arms came around her waist and pulled her against him.  His lips settled against her pulse point in a move that had her fingers digging into his shoulders.  His name came out as a moan.  His hands slid down her body, squeezing her ass through the soft armor before lifting her up by her thighs.  She wrapped her arms around his neck as this put them eye to eye.
“Are you certain?”  Briar nodded and leaned in to cover his lips with hers.  Her hands cupped his cheeks as her teeth tugged at his bottom lip.  His fingers tightened on her thighs, and she wanted to moan.
“Cullen, I’ve waited ten years to feel your hands on me again.”  The admission startled them both, but Briar realized she meant it.  There had felt like something was missing, maybe not something vital to her survival as she did that just fine in the past ten years, but something she ached for was missing.  She realized it was him and everything that came with him.  She squealed when he turned towards his office and room.
Briar giggled as the scouts were ordered to leave, she buried her face in his shoulder to quell the amusement, but she’d never forget their expressions of shock.  “We’ll have to climb up the ladder to my bed.”
“Aww, no fun on the desk?”  Briar teased and sucked in a breath when he backed her against it.  He leaned down and brushed his lips across her ear.
“I’d never be able to do any work without thinking about fucking you on this.”  Her knees went weak and she grabbed his forearms to steady herself.  “And I’ve waited too long to see you in my bed to fuck you here.”  His teeth nibbled the shell of her ear and the soft sound she let out had his hands tensing on her hips.  He stepped back and swept his arm towards the ladder and Briar thought he had more confidence in her legs than she did at the moment.
Briar cleared the ladder and her fingers tugged and pulled until her armor pooled at her feet.  She glanced down at her body and grimaced.  She had more scars than she did at the Circle.  Ten years of fighting darkspawn would do that to you.  Briar jumped slightly when his hands slid around her pulling her back against him, and she noticed he wasn’t wearing any clothing either.  His lips trailed over her ear down to her neck.  She moaned when his teeth pressed down on her pulse point and his fingers dipped between her legs to find her wet and aching for him.
“Maker’s breath but you are beautiful.”  The words had her body clenching around his fingers and her hands reached up for him.  She arched her hips against his hand and Cullen pressed his palm against her aching clit.  His fingers toyed with her as more cries fell from her lips.  “People can hear us you know.”
“Haha, as if that’s stopped us before.”  Cullen groaned as he remembered that night they’d done it beside the First Enchanter’s office.  He hadn’t been able to look the man in the face for a solid week after that.
“Minx,” he whispered against her shoulder as he curled his fingers in her body.  He wanted to taste her, to possess her.  He needed her like he needed his next breath.  Cullen eased his way back towards the bed, taking Briar with him.  He wanted to smile when he moved his hand to her hip and the quiet curse as he left her wanting.
“You’re being a tease.” Briar huffed as she turned to face him.  Cullen merely gave her a warm smile before he sat down on the bed and grasped her fingers.  He tugged her until her stomach was flush with his lips.  Her fingers dove into his hair when his teeth nibbled along her skin.
“As much as I want to feel you around my fingers, I’d rather have you on my tongue.”  Heat pulsed between her legs as the image his words brought up.  She was startled when he leaned back and took her with him.  Her knees pressed on both sides of his waist and her palm splayed across his chest.  Briar didn’t have a chance to protest before he easily lifted her and settled her over his face.
Briar hesitated for a second and yelped when his hands wrapped around her thighs and pulled her right against his mouth.  Her fingers dug into his scalp as his tongue pressed right against her clit.  His name spilled from her lips as the heat coiled tight in her belly.  One hand covered her mouth as she heard the door open downstairs.  Cullen paused for only a second before his attention returned to her.
“Have you seen Cullen?”  Briar recognized the voice of Alissa Trevelyan downstairs.  “I have a report for him.”
“Looks like he finally took a night off.”  Cullen dipped his tongue inside of her hot core as he heard Hawke downstairs.
“Well, he deserves one.  I’ll leave this for him then.”  Briar covered her mouth and tightened her fingers in Cullen’s hair as her orgasm broke.  She couldn’t stop the moans completely and she just prayed the two downstairs didn’t come to investigate.  The waves rolled over her languidly, helped along by his tongue and lips.
“Let’s go.  I don’t like leaving Zephyr for too long.”  Briar’s eyes rolled up in her head as the stars practically exploded behind her eyelids.  She heard the door close and dropped her hand to dig her fingers into the bed by Cullen’s head.
“Fuck, fuck.”  Briar hissed out as he shifted until she was on her stomach.  His weight pressed her down into the bed and she wanted to beg.  His cock touched the inside of her thigh and Briar was this close to losing it.  She arched her hips against him, hinting at him to take the hint.  Cullen’s teeth latched onto her shoulder as he slid his cock inside her welcoming heat.  “Maker’s breath.”  Briar whined as he rolled his hips slowly against hers.  Her nails bit into the sheets by her head as she bucked her hips against him.
“Now, now.  Patience is a virtue Briar,” Cullen whispered in her ear as he continued that torturous pace to her growing frustration.  She’d appreciate slow later but her body wanted him to make her forget her own fucking name.
“Of which I don’t possess.”  She reached up and grasped his hair in her hands as she gently tugged on it.  “Fuck me.”  That dark chuckle was all she heard before he angled his hips and had her body clenching tight around him.  He groaned as he slammed against her hips.  “Yes.”  He rose up and pressed a hand between her shoulder blades.  She groaned as she couldn’t move beneath his hand.  She felt herself tightening around his cock with each thrust.
“Damn it.  I’m.” Cullen groaned as she felt his cock spasming inside of her.  Briar almost screamed when his hand reached underneath and gently pinched her clit.  She buried her face in the sheets as she came apart underneath him.
They were both panting heavily as the fog of desire cleared in their heads.  Cullen jerked upright as if just realizing what he’d been doing.  Briar grabbed his shoulder before he could say anything.  She shifted until she was out from under him and pulled him down towards her.  “We’ll talk tomorrow.  I don’t think I can string more than a few words together right now.”  Cullen relaxed and pulled her against him resting his head on the top of her head.  They could talk tomorrow.
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daevastanner · 2 years ago
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Imagining Gwyn embarrassed that she doesn’t have a date for Nesta’s mating ceremony and Emerie takes her…
Emerie decides she’s going to show Gwyn an amazing time, even if they are just friends, so she treats Gwyn to “the works” prior to the ceremony
Emerie sends a dress to Gwyn’s dorms as a gift to say thank you for being her date to the ceremony
Prior to helping Nesta get ready, Emerie takes Gwyn to a nice brunch on the Sidra where she asks her a million questions about herself. She even orders them a few mimosas to loosen the priestess up
During the reception Emerie asks Gwyn to dance, and while Gwyn isn’t exactly enthused at first Emerie gets her really into the music and the steps
After a few songs, they grab a drink together and Gwyn notices Morrigan is studying them, next to her is Azriel
When she points this out to Emerie, she snorts and remarks that maybe Az is jealous of Emerie getting to have such a pretty date for this occasion. Gwyn returns the compliment saying Morrigan is jealous of Gwyn’s company
While they enjoy cake, Emerie tells Gwyn that if she ever does go on a date in the future she should settle for nothing less than what they’ve done this evening. She should be her dates’ focus and they should ask her about herself and show her every kindness
In the middle of Emerie’s speech about how Gwyn deserves the best from a partner, Morrigan interrupts asking Emerie for a dance. Emerie shrugs and says she can’t leave her date unattended
Appreciative, but not willing to let her friend lose this opportunity, Gwyn urges Emerie to accept Mor’s offer. After a little coaxing, Emerie takes Morrigan’s hand and is swept onto the dance floor
Gwyn watches the two glide about the room laughing and hopes that one day she’ll find something like that
Then Emerie’s chair is no longer vacant, but occupied by Azriel
He offers Gwyn a glass of champagne and very timidly says “I didn’t know you and Emerie were seeing each other…”
Gwyn feels her face heat, a smile spreading on her lips “She offered to be my date for the occasion.” She jerks her head to where Emerie and Morrigan spin. “She has her eye on another as it were.”
Azriel’s brows lift and Gwyn swears there’s something relieved in his tone. “Oh, that’s good.”
Warm and emboldened by champagne Gwyn smirks, “Is it?”
Color blooms in Azriel’s cheeks. “I just mean… It’s just nice that you have a date is all.”
“Hm,” Gwyn hums in agreement, enjoying this flustered Shadowsinger far too much and hoping to see more of him.
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dragonologist-phd · 3 months ago
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4. What would they think about each other’s love interests (if they romanced someone of course)????
thank you!!
Oh gosh my canon feels so convoluted now. So for the setup we have:
Darvis Brosca romancing Morrigan
Marja Aeducan romancing Leliana, breaking up, then romancing Sigrun
Thalia Hawke romancing Fenris and Isabela
Genevieve Amell-Trevelyan in some kind of situationship with Vivienne
So with that out of the way:
Darvis likes Leliana well enough, but he doesn’t really *get* her. He likes her better when she’s hardened, and kind of tunes whenever she starts talking about The Maker. Sigrun he likes a lot better, as they were actually buds before she joined the Legion!
He also likes Isabela a lot, they have fun hanging out and robbing people during her brief appearance in Denerim! He thinks Fenris is a bit too intense sometimes but likes his dry humor and the way he murders slavers.
As for Vivienne…I can’t imagine they’d get along well. They come from such different worlds and have such different ways of interacting with people…they’d talk right past each other. Weirdly enough I do think they’d end up with a kind of respect for each other, though they wouldn’t consider each other friends.
Marja has complicated feelings about Morrigan. She doesn’t totally trust her and doesn’t really even like her all that much, but she knows Morrigan really loves and wants to protect Darvis, and she appreciates that.
I think Marja would really like Fenris! It would take her a while to fully trust him, but she’d quickly get a lot of respect for him and find him pleasant company. Idk I can see them starting a book club or something. As for Isabela, she’d claim to be annoyed by her most of the time but she’d really just be way too easily flustered by her flirting
And I think she’d get on really well with Vivienne! She’d have tons of respect for the way she plays the game and would be genuinely interested in her plans as Divine. Again, I could see them meeting up for a weekly book club over tea
Hawke thinks Morrigan is great and is honestly pretty into her, they’d probably romance her if they were in the Wardens place. They have a harder time with Leliana and would argue with her a ton, but I think they’d secretly appreciate her ideas about the Maker more than they let on. And they’d have a blast hanging out with Sigrun, they’d especially find her dark humor hilarious.
As for Vivienne…oh boy. There’s be lots of fighting between those, and Hawke is just too stubborn to ever entertain Vivienne’s stance on the Circles. It would be a rift between them, and they’d each end up thinking of the other as the reason the whole mess with the Circles exists at all
And then there’s Genevieve! Gen would not get on well with Morrigan at all- she thinks Morrigan is selfish and way too nonchalant about dangerous magic (meanwhile Morrigan calls her a hypocrite and is not wrong). Leliana, she likes, and she’d especially like Origins Leliana with all her stories and romantic tales. She’d also get along well with Sigrun, though she’d be a bit alarmed by some of the things she says.
She’d have very little patience for Isabela, though I think she’d also be secretly envious of how free she seems. Fenris, she would like a lot- they’d have some fascinating discussions about magic and its dangers (and again, she’d probably get called a hypocrite at some point, but from Fenris that might hurt a little more)
Dragon Age Asks
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ell-vellan · 4 months ago
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12, 28, and 38 from the oc relationship asks!
Thank you for asking! <3
I'm just gonna do every relationship I currently have rotating in my mind, lol.
OC Relationship Asks
12. What is something their S/O does to make them flustered?
Ellawyn/Bull: Anytime Bull flirts or touches her in public. She's not used to it - since their relationship started as a secret - and doesn't know how to react in a way that's still becoming of the Inquisitor. But she likes it anyway, and Bull likes unraveling her sense of decorum. Bull would've figured the ability to get flustered had been surgically removed from him at birth - but when El uses her abilities as a mage to ease his pain, or her command role to take care of him in ways that isn't necessary to the war effort, he doesn't know what to do or say.
Anera Lavellan/Solas: I think anytime Anera touches him, Solas finds it unexpected. For her, it's so easy, but it's been so long that he's let anyone this close. It takes him by surprise each time, and he can't hide how much it makes him melt.
Alistair/Auriel Cousland: It's too easy to fluster Alistair; Auri finds it endlessly amusing. She's far more confident in her seduction skills than Alistair. He hates it when Auriel and anyone else - but especially Zevran or Morrigan - talk about their romantic experiences so easily. But, in private, Alistair has a way of saying the most gentle, genuinely beautiful words of love to her, and it stuns her into speechlessness at last.
Zevran/Lathlen Mahariel: Mahariel is un-flusterable. He's a rock. He never smiles, never blushes. Zevran tries to rile him up by being outrageous in public, but...nothing. Mahariel doesn't care about other people and can't be embarrassed. But he enjoys making Zevran flustered with subtle touches. Because Zevran acts so suave, but he's unused to real, intense affection that zeroes in on him and claims him entirely. So Zev might flirt poetically, grandly, for all to hear - then Mahariel will grab him by the belt or his chest plate, pull him close, and murmur something possessive with low, quiet confidence in his ear. Zevran makes a half-hearted attempt to laugh it off but he's shocked, actually how someone found a way to make him blush, after all this time. He's had many people in his life who's claimed to own him, but with Mahariel, he finds he isn't opposed to the idea.
28. Do they trust one another? Are they comfortable discussing their fears with one another?
Ellawyn trusts Bull with her life; she's learning, with some difficulty, to trust that he will stay. They're both very open about their fears, though Bull has a harder time admitting any vulnerability at all.
Anera trusts Solas...about 99 percent. She can tell there's something he isn't saying, but the things he does tell her, she believes. I don't think Solas talks about his own fears at all; if he does, it's very vague and in general terms. Anera freely admits the few things she's afraid of.
Auri and Alistair are completely open books with one another, and trust each other above all others.
Zevran and Mahariel are as well, but it takes them both much, much longer to get there. Neither of them trusts easily, but by the end, they trust only each other.
38. What would be their ideal evening in?
El and Bull - Bull really wants to see El drunk. At least once. Just because he doesn't think she ever has let loose enough. So, a party with the Chargers, where Bull can see El safely back to her room, take care of her, and she no longer feels the need to be so very guarded. But El would probably prefer not to ever drink Qunari booze again.
Anera and Solas would be in front of the fire together, each reading different books, and occasionally telling the other something they've read, either to debate the merits of it or just to share fun facts.
Auriel and Alistair passed out asleep, cuddled together with their dog after a feast and no need to get up early the next morning.
Zevran and Mahariel - probably a target competition (Zev's daggers vs Mahariel's arrows) with some kind of sexy consequence for whichever one loses. Then the nicest room at whatever inn they're crashing at. It likely involves blindfolds and ropes and maybe hot candle wax.
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a-drama-addict · 4 months ago
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9, 12, 62, 72 for Sigrid/Karlach, and any/as many DA couples as you'd like! :]
TEHEEHEHEHEE thank you for the ask >:] im gonna add emira/leli and chloe/bela to this. Because i care them lots [ask game]
9. If there wasnt enough seats, how would they sit? One on the other's lap? One on the armrest? One on the floor in front of them?
Sigrid/Karlach If there's only one seat, you bet your ass Sigrid sits on Karlach's lap. Mostly at Karlach's insistence, Sigrid wouldn't want to impose too much so she'd over to sit on the floor- but Karlach wouldn't have it. There's enough room on Karlach's lap for Sigrid <3
Emira/Leliana Well depends on the situation. In a tavern, Em is definitely going on Leli’s lap, at home it’s usually not an issue and when Leliana becomes divine Emira sits on Leliana’s lap whenever she can. To make a point
Chloe/Bela I think Isabela just takes a seat on Chloe’s lap regardless. They seem like a lap sitting couple know? “Rivaini there’s a seat right there, you know-“ “Oh Varric, I can’t be rude. What if someone wants to sit there?” “No one ever sits there.” “But what if?”
12. What is something their S/O does that makes them flustered?
Sigrid/Karlach For Sigrid it’s definitely the public kisses and just PDA in general. Sometimes after a fight Karlach checks on Sigrid, always followed by a post-battle kiss and a ‘Good job, baby.’ Sigrid just melts into the floor And I think Karlach would get flustered by the way Sigrid compliments her. Sigrid’s a bard, writer, she definitely has a poetic side if she wishes to utilise it. Sigrid compliments definitely have a way of charm- although they sometimes sound like something out of a trashy romance novel. ‘The way your muscles flexed in the heat of battle made my heart race’ is a great example of Sigrid’s compliment range
Emira/Leliana Emira doesn't get flustered by a lot of things easily, but what does make her heart race is when Leliana takes care of her post-battle. The feeling of Leliana wrapping a bandage around a wound, or kissing a cut on her cheek 'better', makes her feel all fuzzy and happy.
Leliana DEFINITELY gets a bit flustered with how into PDA Emira is. Emira will kiss Leliana anywhere, hold hands, shamelessly be sappy and lovey. And Leli definitely gets used to it, but doesn't get any less flustered.
Chloe/Bela Hmmm Chloe isn't easily flustered either. Though she does get kind of flustered when Isabela wears her clothes. Their height difference makes Isabela look like the hottest thing in Chloe's shirt, in Chloe's eyes at least.
Isabela I think is much the same, flirting and PDA isn't flustering but genuine sappy words? melts. When she sees the look in Chloe's eyes of pure admiration- She's DONE for
62. How would outside characters describe their relationship?
Sigrid/Karlach Depends on WHO you would ask but i'm gonna go with how Jaheira would describe it (their mutual mentor figure). "They're like two pups, chasing each other's tails to lay a mark. Hm, now that I've said it, I can perfectly picture them actually doing so. But, what can you do? They're loyal to one another like love-sick wolves."
Emira/Leliana Gah. Morrigan time. "Those two? Apparently they decide to fall in love and confess their 'endless devotion' in the middle of a Blight while there is no use for it. The warden drools over Leliana like a starving woman. Pathetic, really." (note: emira and morrigan are best friends)
Chloe/Bela Varric narration time. "Muffin and Rivaini together is like a.. good Blood Soup. Sure, you can separate the chickpeas from the dish, but it just tastes better with both the peas and the garlic clove, they compliment one another. Separate they're fine, together they're killer."
72. If someone flirted with or showed an interest in their S/O, how would the other react?
Sigrid/Karlach Sigrid wouldn't say anything, but she has a death stare that might just kill someone on the spot. She'll definitely mouth things to the other person 'No one will find your body'. She's just a leetle protective Karlach would be more pouty I think. She wouldn't threaten the other person like Sigrid, but she'd be tell Sigrid 'I didn't like that guy hitting on you. You're mine, right?' and come forth the thousand kisses from Sigrid
Emira/Leliana Oh Em would be like. Pretty possessive, but that also depends wholly on what the person is saying, though she'd always saunter over with a glare, wrap an arm around Leliana and go. 'There you are, darling wife, I was just missing the taste of your lips on mine.' Like a little shit. (Note; she says this even before they're married.) Leliana would be more chill in my mind, so long as Emira doesn't reciprocate, eh. Though if the person goes too far it's a 'Haha i love assassinating' moment for Leli <3
Chloe/Bela I think they're both like. Super chill really? Like yeah you can flirt with my partner, i know they won't reciprocate, bye <3. Though Chloe's a little more protective. ("Do you KNOW how long I had to wait to be in a relationship with my wonderful beautiful girlfriend Isabela? Get outta here")
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sodapaladin · 2 years ago
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Woooooow “Sound… the retreat” woooow wow okay fuck Loghain. Jaw dropped. I knew we’d lose the battle in order to get the plot rolling, but I didn’t expect it to go like that. I figured the reinforcements would just be too late. Well shit, now everyone’s dead. In retrospect, I should have realized Duncan would be the mentor who dies. I thought he was going to be Mission Control.
So now it’s just Alistair and me, plus Morrigan. Her coy, better-than-you attitude annoys me, but it’s kind of endearing when she gets flustered by me thanking her and such. I then spent a ton of time talking with Alistair, and his approval for me went up a bunch. I’m very lovable.
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psylockexs · 9 days ago
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Friends in high places
One day after moving in, Lorelei bumped into her new neighbor. Or rather, the neighbor bumped into her 🤭. Lorelei apologised profusely without looking up at the person. She was new in town and really didn't want to get off on the wrong foot with anyone.
https://on.soundcloud.com/DDGgfnoropwTL6zi7
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 ??: Umm...you can raise your head. I won't bite...well, not unless you ask me to 😉.
Lore: Hm? slowly looks up Oh...am I...getting in the way?
??: Not at all. I was just coming out to check my mail and say hi if you were home. I saw you move in yesterday. Sooo, welcome to San My.
Lore: Heh, thanks. Sorry, I've a million things on my mind right now, so I'm pretty skitty. I'm not usually this flustered. I'm Lorelei, by the way. Or...Aliana. Whichever works.
??: Lorelei fits you, I think. My name is Min-ho. Park Min-ho. Local San My resident and know-it-all....or most. bows slightly🤭
Lore: Whoa whoa, no need to be so formal! We're neighbours! 😆
Min: Oh it's fine. I greet most folks like that. So...looks around then leans closer...are you running from someone or somewhere?
Lore: Uh, why?
Min: opens his mouth slightly
Lore: gasps You're one of them 😮
Min: Kind of, but yeah. Not to brag but...I'm kinda head of gossip round here. So, if you need some dirty work done? I'm your man.
Park Min-ho is a vampire from a very abnormal family line. His ancestor, Chang-woo was a hemomancer who worked with Odin Vatore, the founder of the Vatore family line. Both men and their fellow hemomancers went on a fruitless quest to seek immortality, as you do 😆, each with different results. Odin attained extended life with the cost of needing to feed on blood. Chang-woo attained extended life and all the vampiric perks, but the downside here was that those powers didn't pass down to every generation. It was like a dice roll as to who would get them. Min-ho is the first one to get the powers in 250 years. Yes. 250 years, not one vampire or hemomancer has been born from Min-ho's line until him. Crazy 🤔.
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Much like Lorelei being a Morrigan, Min-ho's dark form has very distinct physical marks. He has black marks on his face and torso that almost look like real tattoos, not to mention his blood red eyes which are rare among vamps. Usually, their eyes are sapphire blue, white or silver. Min-ho possesses a rare talent of tracking. He is able to track anyone, super or human, just by hearing a description of the person.
Back to the apartment building...
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 Lore: Ok well...can I be an ass and ask a favor right off the bat? I really need it.
Min: Sure thing. What do you need?
Lore: I'm trying to track someone. A man, a vampire as well to exact.
Min: Oooh someone interesting. What's he like? Physically.
Lore: Tall, red hair, dark skinned, I think he has white or blue eyes...might be both. But yeah, white eyes...umm...oh, Eastern Windenburg accent and he always talks seductively.
Min: Mkay. Anything else?
Lore: Eh, not really unless you wanna count his love of chokers.
Min: That's good enough as well. Let's exchange numbers so I can call if I find him. Might take a few days, though.
Lore: Oh that's fine! Thanks so much, I feel bad...😅
Min: Nah, don't feel bad. Supers help each other.
With that information in hand, it was surely gonna be easy enough to find the guy. People like that stick out like a sore thumb, even among superhumans. So, this should be a walk in the park...
.....totally easy.....
.....totally didn't take one whole month to find him.....
One whole ass month later ....and a half😒...
Mikhail had been keeping his guard up. Never know who was lurking around the corner, waiting to offer a shady deal...
But! Couldn't keep his guard up when he went to see his cousin and the family, right? So, just a lil stop over aaaaand...maybe a detour to San My. He felt something there. He couldn't explain it, but he just felt like he had to go there.
Portalling is very common among the supernaturals. It's very easy to learn, and everyone can do it. Even a human could do it if they learnt how. The only hard part about porting is making sure you don't land in something by accident. Now that takes true mastery, but for basic A-to-B, one doesn't need to know much.
Mikhail ported into San My's town center. It was very interesting. It smelt different, looked different. Even the air molecules felt different! And people seem to have the decency to bump into you here.
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 Mik: Ooof! steadies the guy Sorry, I zoned out. You okay?
Min: Yeah yea, I'm fine. I should look where I'm going.
Mik: Ha, nah this one is my fault. Haven't zoned out like that for a long time.
Min: dusts himself off So. Start over? offers his hand
Mik: 🤝Mikhail.
Min: Min-ho. Welcome to San My! You look like a night owl, so you popped by just in time for the evening.
Mik: Oh really? What happens here in the evening to night?
Min: Oh plenty of things. From taggers to restaurants, lounges to After 8 clubs. Literally something for everyone.
Mik: notices Min-ho's tattoos Interesting. You mentioned an after 8 club, huh? Man after my own. That's my kind of scene.
Min: Then dude, you'll fit right in. It's called the Red Velvet. And...I think you'll like it for more reasons that one. 😉
Mik: 'Tis a deal then. Till then! walks away after saluting
Yes!!!!!! Finally he showed himself! Min-ho had never needed to track someone this long before. And this one was worth the wait. Lorelei's description of him did absolutely no justice. She got his basic facts right, but damn...talking with him in person is like...Min-ho couldn't find the words for it. But something did run through his mind, though.
What did Lorelei want with such a hunk? 🤔
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renmemo18 · 1 year ago
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Past to Present-Part Two
Morrigan looked into those familiar deep brown eyes. She felt as if she could swim in them. She always loved the flecks of gold that glimmered in them. "Or should I call you Proffessor McGonagall?" He looked bemused as he gently stood her back up onto her two feet. "I..." she felt flustered. This was so strange. Where she was usually quick-witted and often sarcastic, she could not find a single word to say to this man. He looked much older than the last time they met. True, much time had passed. However, this wasn't due to age. She was well aware of Remus'... condition and saw new and fresh scars across his face and neck. His robes looked worn and faded. Despite all of this, he looked as handsome and attractive as ever, with that mischievous glint in his eyes.
"Hello, Remus." She said hoarsely. Her throat felt extremely dry. "How are you?" He looked at her apprehensively. "I'm well, thank you. Have you been here long?" "No, no. I just got here this afternoon." She didn't know what to do or where to look. "Uh... would you like to come to my classroom and we can talk there? I was on my way there when I uh... ran into you..." she said with a slight grin. He grinned back. "Quite literally, I'd say." They both laughed. "I'll follow you then." They fell into step with each other, and there was a brief silence that she had to break or she was going to go mad. "So, is it strange for you? To be back here, I mean." He glanced around at the familiar stone walls and portraits. "Not as much as I expected it to be. It almost feels like being home." She nodded understandably. "I get what you mean." He looked at her and smiled. "Well, of course, it probably feels more like a home to you more than anyone. You were here so much with your mum being a professor. I remember you were here during the summers at times before term started." She smiled fondly at that. True, her Mum would bring her around during the summer if she had pre term duties she needed doing. She would help prepare her classroom and help where she could. As much as she liked being around her friends and running wild during the school year, she basked in the days that she had the castle all to herself. She loved to explore and see things in the castle that she may not have noticed during the hustle and bustle of the crowded halls. "Yes... I happen to remember all that alone time in the castle proved to be pretty useful for our adventures during the school year." They turned down the next corridor and went into the first classroom to the right. Remus beamed at her. "Oh yes. Although none of us complained about all your newfound knowledge of the castle, we were I admit a bit jealous."
She offered him a seat and she started making some tea for both of them. Of course, she could have just magicked it up in a fashion, but it kept her hands busy. "Jealous?" She said, surprised. "What on earth for? You lot ended up finding more about this castle than I did. Even with all that time alone." She put the teapot, cups and saucers, and some cream and sugar cubes on a golden tray and brought it over to the desk, and sat across from him. "I don't know about that." Remus said, as he took a sip of his tea. " You contributed a fair amount of that information if I recall. But being here, with skint supervision, no one to see what you're up to. The possibilities were endless." She peered at him over her cup. "Well, if you know my mother, you know that there was always supervision where I was concerned. Especially when I fell into league with the four of you." "That's true, I remember she wasn't too happy when we were caught, to find you in the middle of us all." She smiled, reminiscently. "You all did your best to cover me. You knew she would be the hardest on me. Which, she was we soon found out. No matter how hard she tried or how many stern talking to's she gave me, she knew it was no use. What was done was done. There was a brief silence, with the occasional tink from their spoons stirring in their cups.
"So, what made you come back? I heard you worked your way up to Chief Heeler at St. Mungos... why leave?" Her eyebrows raised. How had he known that? The last time they were together, she was an entry-level Heeler. Still learning, and working in the field for experience. "I..." he looked down at his hands, which were folding and unfolding themselves nervously in his lap. "I may have... looked you up a time or two..." She could feel intense heat rising to her cheeks, and she took a sip of her tea to try to cover it up. "Oh, I wish you would have come by." This was perfectly true. In that time, she had lost all of her friends in one fell swoop. She was more alone than she had ever been, and she threw herself so aggressively into her work. Just to try to absorb the time she would have otherwise had, to think on the events that lead her to the emptiness she so often felt. Remus looked up, and sadness swam in his eyes. "I... I didn't know if I could.. should, I mean." "Of course you could have. I..." She was going to say,"I had missed you." But found this wildly inappropriate, so she took another sip of tea. Remus pushed his chair forward. He was very close now. He looked imploringly into her eyes. "Morrigan, I'm... I am so so sorry..." she looked back into his eyes and could tell he truly meant it. "It's ok, Remus. I understand." He shook his head aggressively. "I let everything that happened ruin the one good thing I had left."
She looked at him for a moment and stood. Tears swam in her eyes, but she would not let them fall. Not here. Not in front of him. She took the tea tray that laid the empty cups and carried them to refill them. "It's really ok, Remus. I've let it go. There's no point in holding on to it." She felt a hand grasp her elbow, and she turned to see him there. So close, she could feel the heat radiating from him. "Dove..." she could feel him slowly getting closer. She felt like a magnet, being pulled impulsively towards another. Their faces were inches away from one another when the door suddenly opened. They sprang apart and looked towards the source. Minerva McGonagall was inching her way in with a stack of books. "Oh good." She said, noticing Remus there. She obviously hadn't seen their closeness when she entered. "I'm pleased to see you both getting reacquainted." She set the books down on one of the desks. "It's good to see you, Professor." Said Remus, smiling kindly. "As we are colleagues now," Minerva smiled back kindly "I will permit you to call me Minerva in conversation, Remus. There's no need for formalities." Remus smile faltered unsuringly. He probably felt this to be awkward, after knowing Minerva McGonagall as "Professor" for the entirety of his younger years. Morrigan bit back a laugh. "Can I offer you some tea, Mum?" "No, no dear. I just came to drop these off. Madame Pince had them in her collection and thought you may find some use of them." She pointed towards a few books she has set aside from the larger stack. "Oh, how nice of her! Thank you for bringing them." Minerva smiled, "You're most welcome. However I have to take these..." referring to the tower of books "down to the dungeons." Remus started forward. "Let me help you Prof... I mean.. Minerva." He took the stack into his arms."After you." "Oh how nice, thank you, Remus." Minerva looked back and fixed her daughter with a knowing look. Ok... maybe she hadn't missed the closeness between her and Remus, after all. Whether she liked it or not, she was sure they would have words later. She briskly left the classroom, Remus trailing slowly behind and turned to face her. "I'll be seeing you around, Dove." She felt her cheeks growing warm again and was about to reply when her mother's voice rang in the hallway. "Hurry up, Lupin, I'm not getting any younger!" They both jumped, and Morrigan smiled apologetically at him. He shouted, "Coming, Professor!" He grinned back at Morrigan and stepped into the hall. As so many thoughts were running through her head, too many to get a grip on. Her emotions going wild. She heard the bickering of her Mum. "What did I just tell you, Lupin?" "Sorry, Professor." "Lupin!" "Sorry, sorry, sorry!" She laughed now. Hearing their banter echo all the way down the hall until it faded into silence. Yes... this was indeed going to be a most interesting year...
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theboysfromaustin · 1 year ago
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July 4, 2004
Kazuo wiped his brow as he set up Ian's assortment of late-70s vinyl lawn chairs and threw a checkered cloth over the picnic table. People were starting to arrive, and Ian was tending the grill. He swung by to pinch Ian's ass, the older man yelping and ineffectively swatting at him with a spatula. Kazuo grabbed a Shiner Bock, and flopped into a chair to bask in the Texas sun, eye shut.
Someone sat next to him, and he looked over. It was a woman with freckles and dusty grey-brown hair. She looked familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. "Hey there." "Hey, kiddo. Good to see my boy's finally gotten himself a good man." Kazuo cocked his head, "I'm glad to be that man. I…" He paused, "I needed someone like him in my life."
"Your mother was always very kind. Good to see you inherited it." Kazuo froze, "You…knew my mom?" "For quite a long time." "What's your name, miss…?" "Shirley." "Shirley, that's a nice name, you know, Maureen's girlfriend was…" Kazuo had glanced away for a moment, his eye darting back towards Shirley, going wide.
He shook his head. Shirley was still there. "You're her, aren't you?" "Sometimes I have to check up on my family." "They miss you." "They were always good to me. I'm glad I had Ian as a son. The man loves fiercely. You and Maureen are in good hands." Kazuo looked over at Ian who was crushing a beer can against his forehead, apparently to prove a point to Morrigan and Petersen.
"He's a dork, though." "That's why I love him. He saw the good in me, and he let me stay. If he hadn't given me a chance, I think I'd be dead." "He did so much for me, and at the end, I never got the chance to properly thank him for everything." "He's spoken so highly of you." "He…gives freely. He paid for my surgeries, then for our food and our bills while I recovered. Then…when I got pancreatic cancer, he paid for my chemo, for any treatment that might help me. Anything that could potentially save me, he tried."
"He blames himself…I know he did everything, you know he did everything. He loved you. Just like he loves Maureen, and me…like he loved my family…" "Your mother had a crush on him." "Wait, what?" "Yeah, she adored him. Idolized the man. She drew that whole series of comic books about him." "Yeah, she'd read those to me." "She was a good person. Her only real fault…" "Loving my dad?" "Yeah. He isolated her quite effectively."
Ian glanced up from the grill, watching Kazuo talk to thin air. He cocked his head, wondering if his partner was talking to himself. Maybe the Texas heat was getting to him. "You know what, though?" Kazuo's voice was soft. "What's that?" "I'm not sure if I can tell him this, but…" He bit his lip, "I know if my grandpa Kensuke had gotten custody of me, then we couldn't be together. I would rather go through the misery that I did, just so that I can be with him."
"Did your father hurt you?" "Emotionally and physically. He preferred emotional trauma. Less blood and screaming. But he wasn't averse to hitting me." "Bastard. At least he didn't beat that out of you." "I couldn't let myself become him." "Ian needed a man like you. It hurt Maureen and I to see him struggle with relationships. He needed a strong, sweet man, and you fit the bill perfectly."
"Sometimes people look at us like we're doing something wrong. And I can't decide if it's the gay thing, the interracial thing, or the age gap thing. Or all three." "Maureen and I faced similar issues - interracial lesbians, and I'm transgender? People couldn't keep their mouths shut." "A lady got in Ian's face the other day. Yelling. Flustered him terribly. I got in her face and yelled right back."
"He's never been very good at conflict outside of the courtroom." "The lady kept throwing slurs at us. The typical ones, but also racial ones at me. Kept screaming about how…how…disgusting old faggots shouldn't be preying on young men…Like, she had this fake concern for me, but not enough to not throw slurs at me." "I'm sorry, honey. You'd think people like that would have died out by now."
"I wish they had." Shirley looked up as Maureen arrived. Ian greeted her with a tight hug, handing her a Boddington's, "You think Kaz is okay? He's been talking to himself, and I can't get away from the grill…" Maureen glanced over, freezing. Shirley sat in the chair next to Kazuo. She blinked, and her partner disappeared, "I think he's talking to someone very important." Ian looked over, nodding, immediately understanding, "That's good. He needed to meet her," he prodded a hot dog, putting it into a chafing dish, "She always loved things like this." "I know she really appreciated you bringing her good food while she was in the hospital." "Anything I could do to make her feel better."
Shirley looked over at Maureen and Ian, "Go see your mom and man. Tell them….I love them. And tell my boy thank you. For everything. You're doing great, kid. You've earned this happiness," Shirley touched his shoulder, fading away. Kazuo blinked back tears, standing up. He made his way over to Ian, leaning on his arm. Immediately, Ian slipped an arm around him, "Hey, babe. You alright?"
"Hey love, hey Maureen. Um, yeah, not sure how to exactly bring this up, but…Shirley says she loves you guys. And Ian…she says thank you for everything." Ian and Maureen looked at each other, both blinking back tears. The silver-haired man brought Kazuo and Maureen into a tight hug. "Thank you…" "We love her too…we love you, Kazuo."
Kazuo sighed, embraced by his loved ones. Shirley was right - he had earned his happiness. This was the place he belonged, the people he belonged with.
This was how he was supposed to live.
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calicostorms · 2 years ago
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hiii have some da:o oc asks :D 👃 😍 🦴 🔥 and 💐 for athras, rheya and cilian! (if you already did any of these i apologize!)
Thank u moss for asking omg !!! I haven't done any of these for them yet
👃 : Does your OC smell good? Do they have a signature scent?
Athras: They smell good in a sort of herbal way! Usually like sage and lemongrass kinda.
Rheya: Honestly, probably not 😔 she usually smells like sweat and metal because of how often she's wearing pretty heavy armor.
Cilian: Blood, unfortunately, is the only perfume he'd ever use, so probably not. He probably smells a bit like incense too.
😍 : What does your OC find irresistible in others?
Athras: Warmth and friendliness! Athras likes people who are easy to strike up friendships with.
Rheya: Optimism, especially if they're clearly aware of how badly something could go but choose to be optimistic regardless. It tempers her own pessimism. A sense of justice is highly attractive to her too.
Cilian: He's harder to pin down honestly– maybe an interest in him which isn't tempered by the fact he has magic (or that how he uses his magic too)?
🦴 : Does your OC have much sexual experience? What are they like?
Athras: A tiny bit, but not a lot. There aren't a lot of options in a clan, though I would imagine they've had sex at least a couple times prior to Alistair. They tend to be sweet but take charge, and don't shy away from giving orders.
Rheya: A fair amount! Rheya had fucked around a bit with other elves she knew around the alienage and certainly has sex with Leliana whenever the two aren't exhausted from walking or fighting. Rheya is a bit pushy and very physical about it– she likes using a strap-on when she can but is less concerned about her own pleasure usually.
Cilian: He had no experience prior to Zevran but really enjoys learning! He's eager but a bit clumsy, and generally prefers to not be in control for once.
🔥 : What’s a surefire way to make your OC get flustered?
Athras: Taking hits for them in battle– they didn't expect to like it, but it always flusters them a little bit
Rheya: She gets flustered when people make efforts to flirt with her with a more romantic lens instead of just a sexual one. It's not something she's used to and she loves when Leliana stubles over her words a bit to flirt with her
Cilian: He loves people leaning into his space and touching him a lot– he blushes all the way to his ears and he loves people not being ashamed of being seen close to him.
💐 : What is their courting style? How would they woo someone?
Athras: Gift giving! It's part of traditional Brecilian Dalish courting and they lean on it heavily courting Alistair romantically and Morrigan platonically.
Rheya: She doesn't really have a courting style, though she goes out of her way to touch Leliana more than other people or offer her spate poisons before battle. Mostly just getting in someone's space and touching them a lot.
Cilian: He's pretty clumsy about it, but falls back a lot on spending coin on nice, new armor or daggers for Zevran as he courts him. He likes getting practical things for Zev, and revels in flirting (badly) with him publicly or staking his claim by gifting him one of his few possessions (a necklace he'd originally been gifted by Jowan).
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v-arbellanaris · 2 years ago
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highlights:
me and fran discussing the ethics of going around to loot things while we were clearly in an emergency situation at ostagar. i won her over by saying there could be genlocks on those crates and its actually our duty to check them
she screamed when cailan was killed and was like OH NO IS HE DEA-- and then screamed again because duncan and then she was like OH NO IS HE DEAD TOO?! OH MY GOD, OH MY G- and then morrigan showed up on screen and she was like nvm im over it
we left alistair standing there waiting for a response for like an hour or something while francesca was Processing what the fuck had just happened at ostagar (we thanked morrigan, so morrigan was flustered, which made fran's gay little brain short-circuit so the processing only happened once we got back outside MGDFGJDKFGJ)
honestly, it was such a good conversation and the key point i wanted to highlight which was smth fran brought up is how she talked about parallels between duncan and loghain, and the differences between them. with the joining ritual already meaning you already have a chance of dying, the grey wardens have to be treated as if they're disposable, because of the nature of the enemies they're fighting, so it's acceptable for duncan to use all of the wardens he has to fight against the darkspawn. in contrast, loghain is a normal guy, leading a normal army, whose main aim is not to fight darkspawn but rather to protect a whole nation, and because these people are normal, and not tained, by their nature, they can't be disposable. it was such an interesting comparison to make that i wanted to share it with you guys <3
fran would sell alistair to satan for one cornchip if morrigan said so tbh
so far, raihyl has very much been the kind of person who wants to help others, but we're both starting to chafe a bit at being so polite all the time. fran is waiting for the right moment to get a little unhinged. as a treat. ASLKFJ
all of the morrigan & alistair banters so far have left us cackling. "sometimes, a team is an elf, a failed templar, a witch, and their little dog" <- fran is soooo right
we got to lothering, and we just finished talking to the revered mother to try and get sten out of his cage. me and fran have decided NOT to let anyone know we're grey wardens - we've switched into regular armour from the gwof modded armour to sell this - because we were told there's a bounty out on us by those bandits outside lothering!!!! we're gonna play again on saturday hehehe
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here's the bad bitches at lothering
@v-arbellanaris and i had our longest gaming session yet earlier today, a lovely four hour sandwich where the bread was actual gaming and the meat was an hour long conversation about responsibility and blame and duty and loyalty and what happens when one excludes the other
and then we woohooed!!! because morrigan joined our party, a most triumphant addition to our group <3
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readerxlovestay · 3 years ago
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Can I request a Azriel x fem reader?? They are mates and Lucian flirts with the reader and Azriel gets jealous. Very fluffy.
I love your fics.
Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language.
Pairing : Azriel x Reader
Tw : None
Genre : Lots of fluff, maybe a tiny bit angst
Synopsis: You and Azriel are mates. Lucien flirts with you and you flirt back just to see how your mate would react. And boy was it a sight to see Az all flustered and jealous;)
A\n : Y/N - Your Name
H/C - Hair Colour
Thank you so much😭 I loved this idea and had so much fun writing it. It was supposed to be short but I got carried away. Hope you enjoy! (Psst- don't you worry about it, English is not my first language either!)
Only with you
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You and Azriel have been mates for almost a decade now. You have always known Az as the silent, beautiful male who accompanies Morrigan to Rita's, not the deadly Shadowsinger everyone knows. He had taken one look at you and he was immediately God forbid- in love. And the mating bond had clicked for you not long after.
It actually took him some time to warm up to you and you to him, but once you both did, you couldn't stay from each other. Idle touches and shy kisses soon turned into something more, something that you looked forward to and craved everyday. You were the sun to his darkness and the light to his shadows. You had never believed in love, until he gave all of him to you and in turn reached for your care free heart. You loved him with every ounce of existence you had in with you.
He had taken you to see the Inner Circle after you both took time to explore each other when the mating bond settled. The first thing Amren said when she saw you was "You got yourself a good one" It didn't hurt to admit that you felt a little boost of confidence at her approval. Feyre was the most welcoming, as was Rhysand. Little Nyx ran up to you as soon as you smiled at him. "Y/N?" He'd mispronounced your name in baby talk but you merely laughed and picked him up. "I'm your new aunt, little one" You told him, who laughed at you revealing two little white teeth. Cassian had embraced Az with a "I'm happy for you brother"and winked at you. Nesta was very courteous and you had warmed up to her easily. Elain, well, knowing her history with Azriel, you tried to be friendly with her. She had given you a small smile before gliding out wordlessly to her room. Mor had actual tears in her eyes when she saw Azriel and embraced him and then you. "I've never seen him so happy with anyone else", she'd whispered and that was that. Az had told you that he had moved on time and time again, so you were very happy to see them reconcile.
In no time you became a part of the IC, the one of a kind group of family. Somehow everyone fit in, including you. Azriel was the most proud and would always keep touching you to remind himself that he had this beautiful Fae to call his. Lucien came by sometimes to visit Elain but as usual she paid him no attention. You would try and talk to him, but the male was broken in spirit. You had always felt bad for Lucien so you tried to bring him out of his misery. Though truly, nothing can be done except for his mate, your drabble with him helped. Atleast some life had returned in his eyes, and since then you two had been the thickest of friends. Azriel didn't mind it actually. Even though he was not fully comfortable with him, he didn't restrict you from anything. So your friendship grew. Lucien particularly didn't like to be included in the Inner Circle's parties and events but you'd invited him. Again and again.
Until one day he gave in and came by. It was Winter Solstice and everyone had finished exchanging gifts and was talking and drinking merrily. You noticed Lucien lounging by one of the windows all alone. Taking a glass of wine for each, you went over and handed it to him. He looked at you and motioned for you to sit beside him. You felt Az's shadows curling by your side like a cat and you curbed your urge to look back at him, where he was talking with Cassian and Feyre. You sat down, mentally rolling your eyes. You could feel the slight annoyance and a hint of smile without having to glance back at him.
Returning your attention to Lucien, you could see he was deep in thought, gazing at the dark horizon beyond. You nudged him quietly. "What are you thinking about?" He smiled at you.
"Just things"
You smiled back incredulously and pointed at his head.
"You know anything in there is gonna eventually come out me, so say it already"
His smile turned into a smirk
"Not really" He sipped his wine calmly while you blinked at him, trying not to feel too much happy at his attitude returning back.
This is how Lucien used to be before...the Spring Court was destroyed. He was coming back to himself. You took a sip of your own wine, shadows caressing your arms as you moved. "And why is that?" He looked sideways at you. "Sometimes you know me better than anyone else, so guess" His amber eye twinkled. "Well..." You chuckled. "I'm pretty sure, my imposition kept you here all night, so you're probably planning to get away the moment my attention is elsewhere" He laughed, russet eye whirring. "Well you're not entirely wrong. That's exactly what half of my mind was thinking" You raised an eyebrow. "And the other half?" He leaned in, almost enticingly. "The other half was thinking about how beautiful you look in this dress tonight" You laughed at him, careful not to spill your drink. "Oh stop! You had too much to drink tonight didn't you?" You peered into his golden eye "What things are you rambling about now?" He settled back against the sofa with a smirk. "Laugh all you want, but I know it's true" You cleared your throat.
The shadows slithered along your body, slightly provocative now. You had no doubt you conversation was being heard by Azriel. It was not like he could help it, Lucien and you were in the same room as him.
You extended you arm casually to the shadows and which curled around your hand protectively. Flirt back, your mind whispered. You hid your smirk. Why not. You were curious to see how would Azriel react and it's only a bit of fun.
Looking at Lucien, you found him watching you with a lazy look in his eye. He had already finished his drink. You gestured to his glass. "Would you like some more?" He shook his head. You tapped a finger on his arm. "I might look beautiful but you Luce, you look really tempting tonight so maybe the males should watch out" You gave him a knowing smile. He raised his eyebrows. "Even your male?" You winked at him and he burst out laughing. "I appreciate that", he said after he finally stopped. You opened your mouth to reply but was interrupted as Azriel suddenly made an appearance in front of you.
"Time to go Y/N, it's quite late", he appeared cold when he extended his hand towards to you. You shrugged apologetically at Lucien, setting down your half empty glass. "See you later then" He inclined his head in farewell to you and Azriel. You took Az's hand and looked around, only to find that everyone had retired, leaving only the three of you there. Before he could winnow you back to the home both of you shared, you pulled at his sleeve. "Let's fly tonight"
Wordlessly, he picked you up and started flying through the sparkling city of Velaris, wind whipping your beautiful H/C hair. After a good five minutes, he still hadn't said one word. You pressed closer to his body. "Azriel" He didn't look at you. "Azriel what's wrong?" He answered, looking ahead. "Nothing's wrong" You pressed your lips together knowing what it was all about. "It's because of Lucien and me isn't it?" He was stoic. "Glad that you know", he said finally looking at you. You gasped, pretending to be shocked. "Az! Don't tell me. Did our little chit chat ruffle this proud Illyrian's feathers?" His lips pulled down in a frown. "It's not funny Y/N. God, I almost wanted to rip his throat out. I'm not sharing you with anyone" You laughed merrily enjoying his reaction. He looked sullen. "And I don't appreciate you calling him, any male, tempting" You grinned at him.
"My beautiful mate, I was just playing around" You leaned up and planted a kiss on the side of his neck. He relaxed under your touch. "I was only trying to coax a reaction out of you, I didn't mean any of it and neither did he. We both know what would happen if the legendary Shadowsinger was pissed"
He shrugged, a hint of smile playing on his lips. "It's not like I can punish you or something if you piss me off"
"Oh really?" You wiggled your eyebrows suggestively at him. "I can think of quite a few ways actually"
Your surprised shriek and his laughter echoed through the sky as he dove down towards your house, tearing through the air. You tightened your arms around his neck almost choking him.
"AZRIEL PUT ME DOWN"
He complied, landing smoothly on the porch. You refused to get off and clung to him, in case he was still in the air. He laughed and continued carrying you into the house. "And that's what you get for trying to make me jealous"
You disentangled from him with a scowl. "Don't you dare do tricks with me in the air" Smiling he kissed your lips. "Maybe the other kind of punishment you were talking about...?" With a malicious grin, you moved out of his grasp. "Come get me first darling"
You darted into the house as Az smirked.
"I'll give you three seconds of headstart. 1...2...3"
Your defeated shriek and his hearty laugh followed not long after. Only with him, you realised. Only with him you will be this happy and vulnerable.
Only with Az.
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bookstantrash · 3 years ago
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A/N: I am so very sorry for not updating for so long. I know I said I’d try to update more frequently while I was on uni break but life happened lmao. Classes are back, but I’ll try not left y’all hanging for so long.
You can check here Pemberley’s Lake, Hooked on You, Smells like petrichor and paper, The Sound of Music and A Midsummer Night’s Dream, part one, two, three, four and five of my Nessian Pride and Prejudice AU.
That being said, I hope y’all enjoy this chapter! We got a little bit of fluff, sprinkles of angst and a lovely plot twist ✨
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Bloody Day and Ominous letters
Nesta woke up with the worst headache she had ever had in her entire life. She really should not have drunk as much as she had last night but as she saw her friends and Morrigan having fun that little voice inside her head — usually her mother’s or grandmother's saying Do better, Stop being such a disappointment or Your only purpose is to marry well so forget about love — got louder and louder, judging her company and trying to make her feel ashamed.
But she had had enough. Her grandmother and mother had both passed away already. It was time to bury them for good. So Nesta took the wine bottle from Morrigan and drank half of it in one go, her friends cheering around her. And she had so much fun. Nesta would never have guessed that drinking could be so enjoyable, nothing like those uptight parties where the ladies sipped a lonely glass all night long while the gentleman lost count of theirs. The only downside was her killing headache and the fact that she had overslept, a fact she took notice of once she glanced at the wall clock.
She had just sat up on her bed —  massaging her temple to ease the tension on her head — when an insistent knocking on her door made her mumble a curse. No doubt it was either Emerie or Gwyn — maybe both of them — waking her up. Those two were quite used to drinking, so it was no surprise to Nesta that they would be up and about very early.
“Would you two stop it?” she said loudly, opening the door wearing only her chemise, probably having ditched her dress during the night while she slept “I have a killer headache and your banging is not helping at all—”
She stopped mid sentence when she came face to face with Georgianam, the young lady’s hand still raised to knock on her door, Cassian right behind her.
“Oh, I apologise Lady Nesta” Georgiana said “We had agreed that we would go on a nice early morning walk today, but when I did not spot Miss Archeron at the breakfast table I got worried.”
“Please do forgive me, Miss Georgiana. I had a bit too much to drink yesterday and ended up oversleeping.” Nesta quickly said, mentally kicking herself for her rudeness “I will be ready for our walk in a minute.”
“Lovely! I will be waiting at the parlor then!”
Nesta closed the door with a sigh. Her morning had not begun the best.
However, it was only while she was brushing her hair that her sleep fogged mind caught up to the fact that Cassian had seen her half asleep wearing nothing but her chemise and with early morning messy bed hair.
She definitely could not be allowed to drink more than two glasses of alcohol if that was how she was going to behave whenever she drank more than deemed proper.
When she arrived at the parlor ten minutes later, she could not help but avoid looking at Cassian.
“Mrs. Potts brought you a little something to eat” Georgiana informed, pouring Nesta tea “And also some headache medicine”
“Please thank her in my instead later, she is too kind to me”
“Oh, it was all my brother’s doing” Georgiana smiled in Cassian's direction, serving herself some cookies “He was the one who asked her to provide not only the medicine but also the food.”
“I appreciate the gesture, my lord.” Nesta hid her blush behind the teacup.
“It was nothing, my lady” was all he answered, refusing to look at her.
That made Nesta’s heart strangely hurt. She could not help but think he had been disgusted by her earlier appearance. Her hair was such a mess and her chemise was all wrinkled from sleep—
Wait. Why did she care so much of what he thought of her? Nesta Archeron was not one to give much attention to others opinion of herself, so why was she getting so worked up when it came to Cassian? Of course, one could not help but notice how he always looked so presentable, with his spotless clothes, hair combed to perfection every single time. She had never seen a gentleman’s hair be so… perfect. She could bet her first edition of her favourite romance that he had awfully handsome bed hair. And that he had a mint breath even when woke up. And that he probably slept shirtless, if the last time she saw him at midnight at his library was any indication of his sleeping attire.
Oh Mother, why was she now thinking about all of that? She waved an imaginary hand to disperse her not so proper thoughts, focusing on the small talk Georgiana was making.
Both Nesta and Cassian kept avoiding each other during their walk, which did not pass by Georgiana without notice, especially given how her brother had made sure to stay two steps behind them, giving the excuse he wanted to give both ladies “privacy to talk comfortably”, something he had never done. Their walk, however, was cut short when Nesta showed signs of being tired and admitted that her headache had not disappeared.
“I assure you it is nothing to fret over” Nesta told a worried Mrs. Potts when they came back “It must be from yesterday’s drinking. There is no need to call a doctor.”
“Nonetheless, I will ask Chef Ramsay to prepare some light food and my special hangover drink” the old headmaid said with a motherly expression.
Thanking Mrs. Potts again, Nesta went to her room to splash some water on her face in hopes of refreshing herself. But a painful jab low on her stomach made her freeze and the blood drain from her face.
~•~
“Just knock on the door, my Lord” Lumière said as he watched Cassian drop his hand once again. The maître d’ had been watching his lord pace in front of the parlor door for what must have been twenty minutes.
“I do not want to bother her. Maybe I should call Mrs. Potts or wait until the other ladies come back” Cassian ran his hand through his hair in distress. Emerie and Balthazar had gone out with Morrigan to visit some possible new business partners — her big circle of connections proving itself to be very useful in helping expand their business — while Azriel and Gwyn had gone to the town, which was helding a small music festival. Georgiana, on the other hand, had received a telegram from a friend who had returned early from their trip abroad, and she had promptly gone to meet them.
“This, dear brother, is your chance to speak to Miss Nesta” she had said before leaving “I do not know what happened to make you both so distant, but you better make amends. I already asked Emerie to design the gown I shall wear at your wedding.”
Cassian had told Georgie to mind her own business and stop being such a busybody, proceeding to stand guard outside the parlor.
“Leave the lord alone” Cogsworth hissed, elbowing Lumiére “Her ladyship has not asked for help so it must mean she is fine and does not wish to be bothered.”
“Nonsense, old friend!! The lady is simply too shy to ask for it and the lord too polite to risk disturbing her” taking a step forward, Lumière knocked on the door.
“What do you think you are doing?!” the major-domo whisper yelled, and Cassian was sure he would have throttled Lumière were it not for the faint voice coming from the other side.
“Please, do come in” Nesta said.
Taking a deep breath, Cassian opened the door, leaving behind Cogsworth and Lumière, who were trying very hard not to start a duel right there.
The first thing he looked for was Nesta.
Nesta, who was rather pale and was clutching a pillow very hard against her stomach.
“Are you alright?” he asked, not knowing whether to sit beside her or just stay standing a few feet away.
“I am” she said, although the deep breath she took had him thinking it was not true “Where are Gwyn and Emerie?”
“Gwyn went to the town festival with Azriel. An Emerie went with Mor and Balthazar to meet prospective business partners.”
“Are you really alright Nesta?” he asked again “You do not seem fine at all if I may say.”
“I assure you I am perfectly fine” Nesta insisted through clenched teeth “Where is Georgiana?”
“At a friend’s house. They returned early from a trip.” Cassian said, a bit annoyed she was asking for his sister when he was right there. It was a stupid jealous feeling, and he was not even more annoyed because he felt glad they got on so well.
“Do you know when any of them will be back?”
“I am afraid I do not know” daring to approach her, Cassian sat beside her on the sofa “But I am here. If there is anything I could do…”
“There is no need to bother yourself. I truly am—”
And that was when Nesta whimpered and clutched her pillow even tighter, doubling over a little bit.
“You are definitely far from fine sweetheart” Cassian said, rubbing her back in hopes of helping her, nevermind proper etiquette.
“It is really nothing. Just—”
“Just what?”
“Lady stuff!!” Nesta finally said, her whole face heating up like a fireplace.
“Oh. Oh! I see. I— I understand” he said, also a little bit flustered “Not that I actually get it but I have also experienced pain and—”
Nesta wished the ground would open up and swallow her. She was used to getting her period, it was a monthly occurrence. Nothing out of the ordinary. However, this time it seemed her body had decided to punish her more than usual. Not only had she gotten a killer headache — made worse by her hangover —  but she was cramping very badly, and they usually were not that bad. That was why she had gone to that walk with Georgiana, even though she was getting mildly uncomfortable soon after they arrived at the garden.
Not that she did not want to miss any Cassian time.
Him going with them had been a bonus.
A surprise, but not a pleasant one.
Maybe just a bit pleasant if she was being honest. Just a tiny tiny bit.
“I will stop talking now” Cassian mumbled, interrupting not for the first time her errant thoughts.
She wanted to die. To tell Cassian — even indirectly —  that she had gotten her period was the most mortifying she had ever experienced.
“I can get Mrs. Potts for you” he tentatively said, restarting the back rubs “She can get you some tea for pain. Or a bag of warm water. You can tell her anything, do not worry.”
Nesta managed to nod her head in agreement, despite her stubborn side that refused to ask for help from the maids or other servants at Pemberley.
Cassian himself went looking for the head maid instead of just ringing for her, assuring her he would be back in less than ten minutes. And he did come back in record time with Mrs. Potts, who gave her tea and pain tonic that she assured Nesta made wonders for stopping cramps. All the while Cassian hovered over Mrs. Potts, unsure of what to do.
“Do you require anything else? Maybe another blanket?” he asked after Mrs. Potts had left. He had made sure to bring back a blanket too and had even tucked her in with extra care “Or more tea? I can ask someone to come and bring fresh hot tea”
Nesta would never have imagined Cassian to be such an overbearing mother hen. He was being extra careful around her and it annoyed her beyond reason.
“Cassian, this happens every month. Has been happening since I was thirteen, alright? Can you please stop?” she snapped.
She regretted her words as soon as she realised how rude she had been and what exactly she had said. However, he was being so overweening. As if she was made of glass or was on her deathbed.
Yet all Cassian did was crack a smile and nudge a chocolate muffin towards her. Nesta had been in such pain and so quiet he had been concerned if Mrs. Potts’ pain tonic would really work. But there she was.
There was the feisty, sharp tongued and quick-witted Nesta he knew.
There was the Nesta he fell in love with.
He barely held his tongue back and risked blutering his feelings right in front of her. Again.
“May I get you a book then? It is a good way to pass the time until your friends are back.”
“Thank you. That would be lovely” Nesta gave him a soft smile, her previous embarrassment having died down a little.
He was gone and back in a record time, and Nesta delusioned herself into thinking he had raced to the library because he did not want to leave her for too long.
“I got the book you were not able to finish last night” Cassian said, handing her Sellyn Drake’s latest romance “And I also took the liberty of getting one of my favourites too. In case you finish this one quickly.”
She thanked him again, curious as to what book was his favourite, what made her even eager to finish her current read.
Turns out Cassian was a fan of epic poems, a fact that — combined with his admission of having read Sellyn Drake’s romances — once again made Nesta view him with new eyes. She had thought he would be more of a war strategy person, all business and serious matters. Yet it seemed that Cassian had a dreamer inside of him.
“How many times have you read this book?” Nesta asked as she turned a yellowed page. The book was old, but she could see it was very loved given its good condition.
“A lot of times. It was my favourite book as a child, and I could not part with it once I moved out of my childhood home” he gave her a smile “It was also my dear companion during long expeditions. I have most of it memorized.”
“I bet you charmed every single lady during your travels with your knowledge, wooing them with beautiful words” she teased, despite the small pang of jealousy in her heart.
You refused his hand and humiliated him, she thought, you have no place to feel jealous. Cassian is a wonderful gentleman, it is expected to have women falling left and right for him, not to say him pursuing them.
“You are actually the first person apart from my family who knows that I read poetry” Cassian admitted “And I also have never met someone that made me want to declare a poem to”
Nesta did not know what to say to that. They were bordering dangerous territory, something that seemed to happen more and more frequently.
And Cassian, seated right beside her, was thinking the same thing. He had allowed himself to get closer to him again, something that yesterday he had vowed to avoid, had tried to do that morning. But to see her in pain, uncomfortable and not talking to him hurt more than those moments in which he could see a life with her. Those moments with Nesta were a double edged sword: he craved and loathed them with the same urgency.
He would kill to have even a single moment with her.
He would die if he had even a single moment with her.
Nesta made him want to be selfish.
Made him want to declare poems to her, maybe even attempt to write her one.
At the moment, he could not help but recall a certain verse of the Epic of Gilgamesh:
What could I offer
the queen of love in return, who lacks nothing at all?
Balm for the body? The food and drink of the gods?
I have nothing to give to her who lacks nothing at all.
You are the door through which the cold gets in.
You are the fire that goes out. You are the pitch
that sticks to the hands of the one who carries the bucket.
You are the house that falls down. You are the shoe
that pinches the foot of the wearer. The ill-made wall
that buckles when time has gone by. The leaky
water skin soaking the water skin carrier.
To Cassian, Nesta was the goddess of love. And he was the one who could not offer her a single thing for she lacked nothing.
“Well, I will not disturb your reading any longer” clearing his throat to break the new tense silence between them, Cassian gestured to the book in her hand “But do feel free to make comments while you read, I would very much like to hear your opinions about it.”
And she did just that. Every passage she found interesting, each line that caught her eye and interpretation she had about a certain phrase, she shared them all with Cassian. Somewhere during their conversation that awkward tension between them disappeared completely, with Cassian letting his arm rest on the back of the couch, getting closer to Nesta. And Nesta somehow ended up getting closer to him too, almost leaning on his side.
It was all very improper. Cassian staying alone with Nesta, so close to each other and acting as a married couple.
But Cassian would let himself be selfish one last time.
One last time before they had to go their separate ways.
~•~
The day would have ended perfectly were it not for the letter that Gwyn brought once she and Azriel had come back.
While Emerie, Balthazar and Mor had arrived late in the evening — with good news of new partnerships being agreed on —  Gwyn and Azriel had come back much later, just when everyone had finished dinner. Nesta had not been too worried, she trusted Azriel to take care of Gwyn and her friend was not bound by the stifling high society etiquette, but she breathed a little easier when they finally arrived.
“Oh Nesta, we passed by the inn we were staying at before and the landlady gave me a letter addressed to you. It seems she had forgotten to send it to us yesterday when our things were brought here.” Gwyn gave her the letter once they had moved to the game room “She apologised deeply for it.”
“I understand, it is a busy season for them.”
“It is a letter from Feyre” Nesta furrowed her brows in confusion as she broke the letter’ seal, which she recognized as being the one representing Feyre’ status as Duchess “She sent one barely a week ago, I wonder what could have happened.”
Nesta had guessed it would be another letter from Feyre asking about how their trip was going, if she had seen beautiful scenarios and bought any souvenir for her youngest sister. Or even a curious inquiry about what she thought of Cassian. Feyre had been quite interested to know if they got along — she had always been a busybody and matchmaker, and since marrying Rhysand had tried time and time again to nonchalantly push her to Cassin. If she ever discovered that Nesta had already been proposed by Cassian — and that she had refused his hand — chaos would befall upon Nesta.
However, as her eyes scanned the lines, Nesta’s assumptions of its contents proved to be far away from reality. She felt her blood run cold, her heart stop beating and fear. So much fear.
“Excuse me” she managed to say, getting up “I need a moment.”
“Nesta, are you alright? What did Feyre say? You are very pale” Gwyn said, her voice full of worry.
“I am fine. Just cramps” she brushed off her friend’s worries. She did not want to make the others notice that something was off with her, she did not want to alarm Gwyn..
Yet as she exited the room she failed to perceive that Cassian had been paying attention to her ever since Gwyn gave her the letter. He was always paying attention to his surroundings, especially when she was around.
He left the room a few moments after her, trying not to raise suspicion to his attitude. He did not know where she had gone — Pemberley was vast and her room was too far away for him to not have caught her faster — but something led him to the small outdoor patio just left from the small gallery he had at Pemberley.
As he got closer and closer there, he heard the sound of someone crying, which made his heart beat faster and a deep fear grow inside him.
He arrived outside to find an unimaginable scene: Nesta crying. Crying as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest.
She was a mess, her careful braided hair coming undone, as if she had ran her hands through it in desperation.
“Nesta… Nes dear, what happened? Is Feyre alright?” Cassian did not care that she most probably left the room to cry in private. He was worried, he needed to be beside her, he needed to help her somehow.
“I— Feyre she—” she was sobbing so hard she could barely breathe, let alone talk, making Cassian’s heart break in a thousand pieces.
“Shh it’s okay sweetheart. I am here Nes” he gently cupped her face, making her look at him “Take deep breaths with me.”
He took a deep breath, holding it in for three seconds before letting it go. He kept doing it until Nesta did the same, slowly calming down.
“Can you talk now? Do you want me to fetch you some water?” Cassian asked, tenderly brushing off her remaining tears.
“No, I— I can talk now” Nesta took another breath “Feyre is alright. It is Elain.”
“Elain? Is she sick? Talk to me Nes, help me understand”
Elain was the picture of the perfect lady in high society. With her numerous suitors, lovely and delicate behaviour — not to mention her singular beauty — it was hard to find someone who did not like her. Given that her hobbies — cooking and gardening — did not pose a threat to her health and well being, Cassian could not understand what would have made Nesta react so strongly. Perhaps Elain had fallen ill, something that rarely happened.
“No. She is not sick” Nesta shook her head “Cauldron, I almost wished she was sick.”
“Elain was…. Elain was kidnapped” she added, her eyes filling with tears again.
“Kidnapped? How?”
That made no sense, who would kidnap Elain? And why?
“She was going to visit Feyre. And when she didn't show up Rhysand went to search for her and—” Nesta started to cry, desperation filling her voice “They found her carriage turned over and hidden near the outskirts of the city. No sign of her at all.”
Cassian was speechless. He could only imagine how Feyre must be feeling after she got the news and hoped Rhysand was doing his everything to help find Elain.
“The coachman was killed and her lady in waiting was rushed to the hospital.” she cried even harder “This is all my fault. I should never have left her. We have no male relatives and Feyre is living too far from our childhood home. I was supposed to take care of her.”
“Nesta, it is not your fault. You could never have guessed something like this could happen.” he looked deep in her eyes, the blue in them even brighter because of her tears “Is there anything I could do to help?”
“I am afraid there isn’t, '' she whispered “I have to go back home. Try to hire an investigator, talk to Feyre and hope Elain is not disgraced by society rumors. Hope she is alive”
Cassian could only nod in agreement and wait for Nesta to recompose herself before they went back inside. Their friends were as horrified and worried about the situation as he and Nesta, and decided to go back right that moment. The staff noticed something was amiss and made sure to ready the carriage in record time.
“Thank you for welcoming you at your home” Nesta said, her complexion a bit better “I can assure you we all had a wonderful time here.”
“It was my pleasure. Have a safe travel and remember that Pemberey is open to you and your friends whenever you want to visit” Cassian helped Nesta get on her carriage one last time, letting go of her hand begrudgingly.
And as Nesta and her friends got farther and farther from Pemberley, as Nesta got farther and farther away from him and took his heart with her, Cassian felt a calm fury settle inside him.
He had some letters to write to some old friends.
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juusworld5728 · 4 years ago
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Lets talk about Azriel’s shadows...
I think that a lot of people seem to forget what Azriel’s shadows actually represent and what different reaction from them actually mean.
Lets start at the very beginning to his childhood... For the first 11 years of his life, Azriel lived in a cell with no windows or light. He was allowed to come out only for an hour a day, and to see his mother for one hour every week. There are many different ways that one can argue how Azriel came to acquire his shadowsinging abilities or whether it was something genetic (either way, its very rare). Rhysand did mention that he might’ve learned to speak to his shadows in the cell that he was kept in. Either way, his shadows are not something of his past that he necessarily wants to remember. Whether he’s appreciative of those shadows now does not reflect the fact that they were born out of fear and loneliness.
In terms of personality, it’s very important to note how he reacts to things and different people. The way that I see it, he uses his shadows as a defense mechanism. Whenever he’s in an uncomfortable situation, he tends to hide in a corner and his shadows surround him to block from sight. However, when he’s in a good situation or surrounded by certain people, they seem to go away. A lot of people see that as a bad thing, but his shadows are not only supposed to represent his powers, but also his very traumatic past. Soooo you might ask, what exactly do the shadowsinger’s shadows represent?
Well, here is my take. Those shadows in terms that are not power-based, represent that very same cell that he was locked in for the first 11 years of his life. I’m not talking about Nuala and Cerridwen here. I’m talking about his defense mechanism shadows. This wonderful male was trapped without social contact, friends, or anyone to rely on. So yeah, he will be introvert. He has a family, but that doesn't stop him from the fact that his social skills will not be the best in comparison. His shadows represent his loneliness that he feels he deserves and craves when he feels cornered. For the first 11 years of his life, that was ALL HE KNEW. When his shadows “brighten” or are nowhere to be seen, I can imagine that as being the hour he had out of his cell every day. That feeling of relief and freedom. Yes, he needs to learn to accept himself more and who he has become. However, that can be done in the sense that his shadows do not have to be around him ALL THE TIME.
Now, in terms of relationships: 
Mor: His first love. At the young age of around 19. Only 8 years after he’s been let out into society and learned his way through. Does he even know how to handle love?? Probably not. He was born a bastard and probably saw his mother being treated like shit by his father and stepmother. So I doubt love is something he believes in at this point. However, he does fall in love with her. His reaction to that? What he knows best. Avoidance. That dark cell still very present in his mind. That feeling of being very aware of how broken you are but don’t know how to fix it. He does not want to put that burden on Mor. Everything that happens between Cassian and Mor probably makes him feel even worse. Throughout the years though, he can’t help but feel happy just to be around her and in her presence (hence why his shadows disappear). It can be argued that he's known that she hasn't been interested for a while. Maybe what he truly craved wasn't the actual love that he wanted from Mor, but the feeling of love that came from her that made his shadows go away. He craved it and wanted to be around her for that feeling.
Elain: The first time that Azriel meets Elain is in the human lands. She asks him if he can truly fly. He blushes and gets flustered, and why? Do you think that maybe a lot of people haven't bothered to see him in a certain light to ask those type of questions? I mean sure he has his family, but this human girl that is supposedly terrified of him because he’s fae, asks him such a simple and light-hearted question... Slowly but surely, in ACOWAR he beings to get more comfortable with her. She’s broken but at the same time, holding on. He takes notice of a certain light that she radiates as well as her seer powers a little bit later. The first time they’re brought over to the House of Wind, she calls his scars beautiful. The importance of this scene is very overlooked. She called the thing that makes him the most insecure, induces the most amount of fear, and creates his hatred... beautiful. This woman that barely knows him has already accepted every part of him. He further loves to glance out at the garden (a place of happiness that reminds him of Elain) and loves to look at that hidden light in her eyes that makes his shadows either brighten or disappear. It’s very similar to the feeling with Morrigan, but more direct and has incentive. Now, lets talk about truth-teller (the knife that always strikes true). That is one part of himself that he has never shared with ANYONE. Why did he give her truth-teller? Because Elain has already accepted every part of him. Truth-teller is an extension to himself in a sense. Something that belongs wholly to him and makes him feel safe. He trusts Elain enough to give her a part of himself. A very vulnerable moment never seen before by Azriel. In ACOFAS, When Azriel asks about Lucien, he truly does not want to spy on him. It could be for privacy reasons because of Elain but also because he’s afraid of what he’ll see from him in terms of Elain. His siphons gutter and he stutters over his words. Now, winter solstice was a very light-hearted moment but very important as well. As we can tell, Elain is the perfect gift-giver. She gives Azriel a potion for his headaches which is perfect and very hilarious since he laughs (he’s never laughed before in Feyre’s presence). It’s very telling to Elain’s personality as being a very attentive person which amounts to her really caring about Azriel and what’s going on with him. He tends to be pretty hidden and keeps a poker face most of the time, so for her to notice the little things like that is very important. I rest my case..... for now.
Gwyn: I honestly cannot say much about this ship. What I can say are from pages I have been sent and trends I have been seeing through Azriel’s personality. It seems to me like Azriel is the least tense around people he considers his friends and brothers. Even though he's usually pretty serious anyways, the bat boys seem really comfortable with each other. When Mor was around (especially in ACOMAF), he would get worried. However, when she wasn't paying to him, his shadows would disappear (similar things happened with Elain). It seems to me like Gwyn has an outwardly fun personality and Azriel has no problem with that because he is not worried about anything happening. The most I’ve seen from the books between them is simple banter that included the rest of the friend group. When either of them talk, what I’ve seen from Azriel is amusement. That amusement results in Azriel’s shadows dancing around HIMSELF. Not anyone else. No, the shadows did not dance around Gwyn or any other person. I currently see this as a friendship and would need more build-up for me to even ship it. It seems like Azriel seems fine acting like this with people he is not worried about catching feelings with.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
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heniareth · 3 years ago
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Astala Tabris as a Companion: Soundset and Banter
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I’m going to jump on this particular bandwagon through the open tag provided by @wild-houseplant (thank you so so much for that opening, I had really been wanting to do this). As it is, again, quite long, there’s a cut.
This is a continuation of this post, which also contains the changes I’ve made to Astala’s backstory to make her companion version coherent with canon.
Warden’s name: Astala Tabris
Voice: Deep, comes from the chest. If she were a singer, she’d probably be an alto. She has a notable Denerim accent (I have no idea what that would sound like, but she does have a few words and expressions she uses often). Her voice is listed as Experienced in the game, if I remember correctly.
Soundset
Select PC:
“Shall we?” “Ready when you are.” “(sighs) Five more minutes?” “(brightly) Off we go!”
Combat attack:
“Come here and get some!” “Gotcha!” “Blasted brainless- GAH!” “I hate you so much right now.” “No you won’t!”
Mana/stamina low:
“We’re taking-- *gasps for breath* --a break after this.” “(panting) Timeout! Please!” “*angry, frustrated grunt*”
Heal me:
“I could use a healing hand.” “*pained scream*” “Oops! That doesn’t look good…”
Near death:
“(gasping for breath) No. Not now!” “(angry) Leave me alone!” “(desperate) Help!” “*agonized scream*” “(disjointed) E-everything’s… blurry.”
Enemies sighted:
“Heads up! We got company.” “Get in position!” “Maker shield us, they’re coming!”
Dragon sighted:
“Oh no. No, no, no. Absolutely not.” “Hey, uh… wasn’t the archdemon a big dragon?” “Please say we can sneak around it?” “*nervous laughter*”
Spell/attack failed:
“Stop moving so much!” “(seriously disappointed) Wow. Mom would be real of me right now...” “Maker make it so I hit you!”
Fight over, enemies killed:
“Finally!” “I hope this is the last group for today.” “Everybody alright?”
Companion KO’d:
“[Alistair] (concerned) Alistair! Get up, buddy, come on!” “[Dog] Somebody get the dog out of there!” “[Leliana] Leli! Leli, say something!” “[Morrigan] Hold on Morrigan, I’m coming!” “[Oghren] I swear to all your ancestors. Oghren!” “[Shale]Maker- Shale is down!” “[Sten] Sten! Shit, this is bad.” “[Wynne] Healer down, I repeat, Healer DOWN!” “[Zevran] Zev! Don’t you dare make me the only other elf here!”
Trap sighted:
“Oof. Nasty.” “I still think we should pilfer it. It could come in handy.”
Open chest:
“Right away.” “You sure it isn’t locked?”
Cannot do the thing:
“Hm… I think I need help with this.” “… May I use my sword?”
Banter
Alistair
Alistair: “So, I’ve noticed, Zevran is kind of short.”
Astala: “Short? Are you sure? Isn’t it rather that you’re tall?”
Alistair: “No, that can’t be it. You are short and Zevran is even shorter than you.”
Astala: “*laughs incredulously* Alistair! I’m considered tall for an elf!”
Alistair: “What? But-”
Astala: “Look at Leliana and Morrigan, or even at Wynne. You’re easily a head taller than either of them!”
Alistair: “(flustered) But… I thought somebody like Sten was considered tall. I’m just… me.”
Astala: “I think Sten classifies as a giant.”
Alistair: “Huh. The things you learn…” (Beat) “So you were saying you’re tall, huh?”
Astala: “I- (In mock offense) Oh, fine, flaunt your height in my face, why don’t you?”
Alistair: “(laughing) I’m just saying, I can rest my arm on your head. It’s pretty comfortable.”
Astala: “Maker save you from yourself.”
[If the City elf warden is in a romance with Alistair]
Astala: “Sooo?”
Alistair: “So… what?”
Astala: “(sing-song voice) You like my sibling, Alistair.”
Alistair: “I- That- I mean, it’s-… I-I’m not trying to do anything bad to them, I swear.”
Astala: “(laughs) Maker’s Breath, that was the last thing I was worried about.”
Alistair: “You’re not- So I’m not in trouble?”
Astala: “I mean… You’re in danger of me gently ribbing the both of you. (giggles) Yo’re adorable together.”
Alistair: “(mumbles) Stop it.”
Astala: “I did want to ask you this. Will arl Eamon object to this?”
Alistair: “Uh…”
Astala: “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that man’s opinion should matter when it comes to your relationship. But we do need him as an ally, and should he object… well, it’s better to be prepared.”
Alistair: “… I hadn’t really thought about that…”
Astala: “… Hm. Welp, here’s something to think about if you can’t sleep, I guess.”
Dog
Astala: “So, uh… It appears that you won’t throw me to the ground and try to bite my throat out, yeah?”
Dog: “*confused bark*”
Astala: “Don’t take it personal. Some nobles like to train their hounds on elves. I’m just being cautious.”
Dog: “*horrified whine*”
Astala: “Yeah, that’s what I think as well… But you would never do that, would you?”
Dog: “*happy bark*”
Astala: “Maker, you have a lot of teeth.”
Dog: “*excited bark*”
Astala: “(nervously) Attaboy. Please don’t get too close.”
Leliana
Leliana: “I noticed these beautiful cornflowers you stitched into your tunic yesterday. Where did you learn how to do that?”
Astala: “A friend of mine taught me. Her name was Nola.”
Leliana: “Your friend must be very talented.”
Astala: “(melancholic) She was… She helped make my wedding dress before I went off to Edgehall. (more animated) Y’know, if we keep finding as much money as we do now, I’m gonna commission a dress with fabrics like the ones the noble ladies wear, but elven make and style. And pockets big enough to hide daggers in them.”
Leliana: “(laughs) Fashionable and practical! I would love to see it when it’s done.”
Astala: “I could introduce you to some friends if you wanted anything made. We’re saving the world here, the least we could get out of it are fancy dresses.”
Leliana: “Oh, I would like that very much! Do you think they could…? But no, it wouldn’t be right to ask them to do such stitching for a stranger, no?”
Astala: “Why wouldn’t it? Commissions are always welcome, as long as you pay.”
Leliana: “Oh, of course! An artist must be paid for their craft, after all.”
[If the City elf warden is in a romance with Leliana]
Astala: “How does the whole courtship thing work anyway?”
Leliana: “It depends on the person and their standing. But in broad strokes, after people meet, there is a period of time where they may exchange gifts and letters, write songs or poems, and seek out each other’s company. Among the nobility, it’s frowned upon to leave them alone during that time of courtship. This may ultimately lead to a confession of feelings, and, if everything goes well, to marriage.”
Astala: “Interesting. So, if my sibling is giving you all these flowers and the symbols of Andraste we come across, that’s what they would be doing, right? Courting you?”
Leliana: “Is this because-?”
Astala: “Because of your relationship with them? Oh, yes, certainly. But I was also curious. It’s very different among elves, at least those of us who live in cities.”
Leliana: “Oh? How does it work for you?”
Astala: “Well… We don’t really do the whole ‘falling in love’ thing until after marriage. The elders or one of your older relatives usually picks your spouse. And since your intended will be from another Alienage… well, I didn’t even meet my husband until the day I married him.”
Leliana: “And that works?”
Astala: “Mostly, it does; it did in my case. The choice is usually wisely made. It was… awkward at first with my husband, but he was so patient during it all… If it’d been somebody else, I might be telling a different story. But of course, who you marry depends on your connections and the money you have. I got lucky.”
Leliana: “That happens among us humans too. But I don’t think I would be able to marry somebody I didn’t know.”
Astala: “Y’know, if I’m to be honest… I don’t think my sibling could, either.”
Morrigan
Morrigan: “A word, if I may.”
Astala: “Only one? I can do that.”
Morrigan: “(sighs) I understand that you have a daughter, yes?”
Astala: “I do! She’s one, or will be soon, anyway. (sad) Guess I won’t get to see that first birthday…”
Morrigan: “Not if things progress as slowly as they have, no. (Beat) What… is it like?”
Astala: “What do you mean?”
Morrigan: “Having a child; what is it like? I imagine one loses a great deal of sleep and time looking after the little creature, and yet many people seem utterly engrossed by them. Why is that?”
Astala: “Well… I mean, you aren’t wrong. Being a parent is exhausting. But… I don’t know. It’s difficult to explain the reasoning behind it, but I am happy to take care of her. It’s a joy, and a privilege, and I really hope I can do right by her. I love her.”
Morrigan: “I… see.”
Astala: “Why do you ask? [If Morrigan is romanced] Oh! Are you…?”
Morrigan: “(quickly) There is no reason for me asking besides curiosity. The children I encountered in Lothering were always screaming or crying.”
Astala: “I mean, that does happen, yes, but there’s usually a quick solution to it. Would you like to know more?”
Morrigan: “That would be enough for now, I believe.”
[If the City elf warden is in a romance with Morrigan]
Astala: “I feel like we should to get to know each other better.”
Morrigan: “And why would that be so?”
Astala: “Apart from the fact that we practically live together? I just though, since you and my sibling have grown quite fond of each other-”
Morrigan: “I fail to see how that has anything to do with them and me.”
Astala: “Uh… I mean- I am their sister.”
Morrigan: “Your point?”
Astala: “Well, usually there’s the thing that the families of both parties get acquainted and get to know the partner of their family member as well…”
Morrigan: “Usually? There is nothing further from what ‘usually’ happens between lovers in a swamp than this.”
Astala: “Oh.” (Beat) “What… would your mother have done with my sibling if they were nothing but your partner?”
Morrigan: “Probably hunt them for sport.”
Astala: “(quietly) Boy oh boy do you have a family life…”
Oghren (first of two, because I couldn’t choose between them)
Astala: “Oghren?”
Oghren: “Aye?”
Astala: “You were talking the other day about the dwarven technique that allows you to harness your rage in battle. Can anyone learn how to do that?”
Oghren: “I mean… so long as they have the strength for it…”
Astala: “What about somebody who has never held a weapon in their hands, but has a lot of rage?”
Oghren: “What’re you going for?”
Astala: “I was just thinking. Where I come from, there’s rage enough to fill everyone up twice, but nobody has ever held something more dangerous than a knife. But if somebody taught us…”
Oghren: “No offense, but rage doesn’t make a warrior. They’re better off learning not to cut their own fingers off with their weapons first.”
Astala: “(disappointed) Huh… That does make sense.”
Oghren (second of two)
Astala: “Asshat!”
Oghren: “I don’t even wear a hat. Nuglicker!”
Astala: “I mean, if it’s cooked… You drag a stone on your tongue.”
Oghren: “Is that supposed to be an insult?”
Astala: “It’s a saying. Means somebody boasts a lot.”
Oghren: “Bah, that’s too complicated for me. Try again.”
Astala: “Apple-brain, rotten through with a worm at its core.”
Oghren: “At least I got healthy arms. You couldn’t lift my axe if you tried, stick-arms.”
Astala: “Wanna bet? At least I don’t fight like a nug rolling in the dirt.”
Oghren: “(grumbling) Hey, now, don’t get personal.”
Astala: “Oh, sorry. Duly noted. Have a free jab at me.”
Oghren: “I don’t need a free jab at you. You fight like you’re some kind of flighty dancer.”
Astala: “(laughs) It’s an ancient elven art that saved your ass from a genlock just yesterday. It looked a lot like you, by the way.”
Oghren: “It did not! You take that back.”
Astala: “(triumphant) Aha! I believe I win.”
Oghren: “… Ah, sod it.”
Shale
Astala: “Can I ask you a question, Shale?”
Shale: “If it has nothing better to do…”
Astala: “I can leave you alone if you want to.”
Shale: “As if I hadn’t been alone enough over the past thirty years in Honnleath.”
Astala: “I can also stay and just be silent.”
Shale: “What would be the point of that?”
Astala: “Well, if you don’t want to be alone but also don’t want me asking questions, the third option is to remain silent. Or comment on the weather. I hear it’s gonna get cold again.”
Shale: “I don’t feel the cold.”
Astala: “I do, and I hate it. I wish it were spring again… (Beat) Did you ever get snowed under?”
Shale: “Once I did. I spent a whole month seeing white.”
Astala: “Ugh.”
Shale: “Indeed.”
Sten
Astala: “(loud whisper) Psst. Sten. Here, take this.”
Sten: “What is it?”
Astala: “Open it, go on.”
Sten: “… These are baked goods.”
Astala: “(happily) Yes they are! We call them muffins. They’re very similar to ones my friend’s mother made sometimes.”
Sten: “You have tried one?”
Astala: “(defensive) I had to sample the merchandise. Go on, tell me what you think!”
Sten: “… Hm. Very sweet.”
Astala: “Is that… a good thing?”
Sten: “The other baked confectionery was less sweet.”
Astala: “Okay… If you don’t like them, that’s no problem. I’ll gladly take them off your hands.”
Sten: “No. They’re mine now.”
Astala: “*laughs* That’s what I thought. Enjoy!”
Wynne (also first of two because yes.)
Astala: “You have a child as well?”
Wynne “I do.”
Astala: “And you do not know where he is?”
Wynne: “I do not.”
Astala: “And wouldn’t you want to- Excuse me, I’m overstepping.”
Wynne: “It’s… it’s alrigth. Yes, I would like to know where he is. But I doubt I shall ever find out.”
Astala: “But they have to keep records of that somewhere. Maybe in the Circle, if we went back-”
Wynne: “It is pointless, I fear. Whatever records there might have been will have long been buried by time, dust, or transferred somewhere else.”
Astala: “But-”
Wynne: “I appreciate your concern, Astala, and your drive. But I am far more experienced in matters of the Circle than you are. Believe me when I say that it is a fruitless effort.”
Astala: “I’m sorry.”
Wynne: “So am I.”
Wynne (second of two; we talk about grief and the death of a parent here)
Wynne: “Do you have a moment to talk, Astala?”
Astala: “Sure, what is it?”
Wynne: “It’s about your encounter in the Fade with the image of your mother.”
Astala: “… Oh. (cautious) What about it?”
Wynne: “I overeard your conversation with our Warden before by accident and... the encounter seems to have stirred up a lot of grief.”
Astala: “It has. I was nine when she died. How should I not grieve her?”
Wynne: “Well… Grief tends to dull over time.”
Astala: “Evidently not in this case.”
Wynne: “And I would say you are not only grieving. You are angry.”
Astala: “(angrily) Again, how could I not be?”
Wynne: “I meant to say that you are angry at her.”
Astala: “(coldly) I think we should end this conversation here.”
Zevran
Astala: “Is there anybody from Antiva you miss?”
Zevran: “I would say there are many from Antiva that would miss me, my dear. Why do you ask?”
Astala: “It’s just… you tell so many terrible things about your time with the Crows. I was wondering if there was anything about it that was good.”
Zevran: “Oh, there were many good things. The rewards, the freedom to come and go as one chooses-”
Astala: “-the many lovers, yes, I get it. I meant friends. You said apprentices are bought and die like flies. Was there anybody at all who would count as a companion for all those years?”
Zevran: “Oh, certainly. One doesn’t get by without at least a few people watching your back. And of course, you watch theirs in return. It would be a shame to have them die prematurely. It tends to leave your back exposed.”
Astala: “Hm…”
Zevran: “Oh, that look on your face. Have I told you recently how well that thoughtful expression suits you, my dear?”
Astala: “Quit trying to sidetrack me. In case the Crows do decide to send more of their people… should we watch out for anybody? Y’know. So that we don’t accidentally kill one of your old companions.”
Zevran: “That is a dangerous mentality. Would you enter a fight and refuse to kill your opponent?”
Astala: “Depends on the opponent.”
Zevran: “(darkly) Not in this case, I can assure you that.”
[If the City elf warden is in a romance with Zevran]
Astala: “I’ve noticed you don’t say anything when you’re hit. You can ask for help more often, y’know?”
Zevran: “Ask for help when I’ve already received the blow? I do not see the point.”
Astala: “Ask for healing. Or for help after the battle. You got a pretty nasty cut last time and the only reason I even noticed was because the dog wouldn’t leave your leg alone.”
Zevran: “Ah, I have been made! But worry not, sweet Astala, I know how to take care of my own wounds.”
Astala: “Well one day… something will happen. And because you didn’t ask for help, it’ll get bad. Just tell us what’s up!”
Zevran: “Truly, I’m honored, but why this sudden concern for my wellbeing?”
Astala: “You’re not gonna break my sibling’s heart by bleeding out in a ditch because you couldn’t be bothered to ask for help.”
Zevran: “Oho! So it is your sibling you’re worried about.”
Astala: “And you as well, doofus. I take care of all of my siblings, adopted or not.”
Zevran: “When did I become a sibling of yours?”
Astala: “When you and my sibling started to get involved with one another, of course. Their family is my family.”
Zevran: “I see. (smirking) So this is how it’s going to be from now on then? We will fight over who has to wash the dishes and steal each other’s sweets? You do know I am older than you by two years, yes?”
Astala: “(laughs) And that’s supposed to be an advantage? You have fun being the oldest one.”
Zevran: “I might not have thought this through...”
Astala: “Too late. You’re part of this family now, and you’ll enjoy it.”
---
That was a lot of fun, and great writing practice. Thank you for reading the whole thing, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did XD XD XD
I’ll tag @scribbledquillz and @arainayeet to spread the joy on this (and I'm going to once again not-tag @yukichouji and @the-iron-lion bc you guys are busy and I don't want to add to your stress. My idea behind the not-tag is this: this tag is saved for you for when calmer times roll around and you have the time and energy and muse. Hope it makes sense ^^). No pressure please, take as long as you like, or ignore it enitrely; whatever is best for you at this point in time <3
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