#and maybe these people are a little more weird and intrusive about it but that's just how people are yknow

[livinginadumpster]

I like to think the reason edwin assumes monty "just enjoys ghosts" is bc he has always gotten attention from an inexplicable number of guys and always just chalked it up to people being very interested in ghosts rather than attracted to him

[blackthorn-legion-irl]

STOP BEING SO FUCKING KIND TO ME I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE

I SENT A CORPSE TO A CHILD

...

You're too kind for your own good.

Fuck.

//Hello!! Rwat anon mod!! You're doing great lol no need to be nervous about interacting- if anything I was because I got accused of being- a not so great person yesterday and I was worried people were going to think that this character or that person was me ooc. Anyways, about rwat. They have severe intrusive thoughts constantly, and were in a manic state while sending threats and shit to paris which peaked with that package to sprite- but has now dipped down and they're more reasonable, though still unstable

i'll tell you one thing that i've never told anyone on here before. i know that this will make it publically known. but i think telling you will help.

i've done worse.

i don't know what - i've repressed most of that memory. but i was a stupid kid. i'm still a stupid adult sometimes. i probably snapped. my point is - if i can come back from that, so can you.

if you don't want to talk for now - or at all - i understand. i'll work on finding a good therapist near you who doesn't work with the cops - not sure if that's a worry you had, but easing it anyway. cops suck but if you'd like i will absolutely support you, okay? i can't go too extreme without drawing attention, but through... slight money laundering through my dude in johto i can make sure you have at least stable housing and supplies so you don't have to worry about those.

just remember. small steppy better than no steppy. and two steps forward one step back is still a net gain.

[natewriteslol]

Delicious In Dungeon Having a Crush on You HC's!

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:

Summary: Just like the title says, how they would act if they had a crush on you including how you find out!

Pt.2 w Kabru, Shuro and Falin!

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ ☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*°☆.。.:*

Senshi:

-I'm not going to lie it is going to take a fat minute for him to fess up his feelings for you let alone for people to notice because it is the little things that stand out.

-Senshi is really good at keeping secrets and is a really private person and fights for his peace

-So what if he may slip a little bit more food onto your plate, make your favorite dishes only for you if the ingredients for it just so happens to be in his bag, is always the first person to get you out of a dangerous situation? It's all out of convenience and being kind

-But his lack of casualty is also really telling like when giving out compliments he sometimes has a tinge of shyness to his voice, "You look...very nice y-yes"

-The way you find out he has a crush on you is because he eventually comes to a realization that he cannot keep running away from his problems because that has never ended in anything good and confesses his feelings for you

-It happened whilst everyone was asleep and it was just you two alone by the fire, the embers were crackling and you always enjoyed watching it ablaze while talking with Senshi. Eventually he piped up after staying silent for so long and having you take the lead in talking,

"I don't mean to corner you, nor do I expect you to feel the same but...I have feelings for you, genuinely Y/N. And, meeting you in this party means the world to me as in a way you all are unique treasures but you. I couldn't imagine just walking away without letting you know how much you mean to me."

-Honestly, Senshi is one of the least in denial about this predicament with his feelings and will come to you sooner

Marcille:

-A person who completely avoids her feelings for you like the plague and will deny like her life depends on it

-She swears to others that it's just because you're an amazing friend!

-She brings you your favorite sweet treats, offers to cast magic for your slightest inconveniences, she just so happens to bring books that are about the things you mentioned one off or are a specific interest you love

-The contrast of how she treats others vs. You is so jarring and it's really obvious that she has a crush on you. She is really protective and a bit possessive (not in a weird way) over you and she does not really care about the other people in her party like that

-Anytime she's afraid of something, she holds onto you, Marcille is VERY touchy with her crush

-The blonde blushes pretty consistently and is really shy when it comes to you and tries to appear nonchalant but fails miserably

-It's honestly so bad that even Laios caught on after Senshi threw him a clue and one time when it was just him asked her, which resulted in her coming clean and being VERY distressed as if she committed a crime

-The way you find out she has a crush on you is when you're on a mission in a dungeon. She was near a weeping willow exerting mana, rumored to grant wishes to anyone who asks.

-She held a piece of paper and was on her knees, looking up at the grand tree on the soft blades of grass. She began speaking to the tree once you silently walked in through the cave hole to check on her and the half-elf was completely unknowing of your intrusion,

-"Please they're the love of my life, and I'm not asking to force them but maybe...show me a sign if they like me back. They make me feel like no other and I am just so confused and I need guidance, Ancient Willow."

Chilchuck:

-Deny. Deny. Deny. Deny.

-Oh, and did I say deny

-He absolutely hates being the person caught with egg on his face and being in the wrong, so the fact that he himself Mr. 'No Party Romances' violated his own rules?

-He wants to fall into a hole right on the spot

-While he is a grown ass man and doesn't want to be a coward, Chilchuck doesn't want to face this problem head on surprisingly (sarcasm)

-He shows his love for you by trying to keep you the safe the most out of everyone in the party, scolds you HEAVILY when you mess up that could've cost you your life

-Some may say that it's just Chilchuck's explosive nature, Senshi was actually the first to see through it and grow suspicion over his behavior but honestly didn't have enough evidence for his theory and was shot down by Laios and Marcille

-It's not extremely obvious his slight shift in treatment until you had been kidnapped by the Chain Devil to protect Chilchuck from it's clutches

-And multiple times have members of the party have been kidnapped and although shaken he was able to keep his cool...but this time it was heavily different

-He let out a horrified scream that they had never heard from the Half-Foot before. He scrambled to his feet after watching you getting pulled into the darkness, his eyes were glassy and full of panic as he asked the rest on what they should do

-When they get you back, you were too tired to really stand so you laid in the sleeping bag as everyone else slept as well, but the brown haired man never left your side and watched as you slept

-...or so he thought

-You find out about his true feelings as you laid in your sleeping bag. As you were drifting in and out consciousness but felt light weight on the side of your body and Chilchuck began to talk to you, asking if you were awake

-"Good, you're fast asleep...I hope you know that I'm not hard on you because I don't like you that's...not even close to the truth.

I love you, so much and...I get so damn scared for you."

Laios:

-Constant. Monster. Facts.

-One of the things that makes Laios so attracted to you is that you listen and like when he nerds out so please be prepared. You're a safe space to spew out knowledge and it means the world to him

-Consistently gives you small little gifts, but then sometimes gifts to the others so it doesn't look suspicious. Maybe it was something with the light but, the look in his eye as he gave you the bracelet and put it on you was so different.

-Usually doesn't care about other people being in a towels or shirtless, but when it's you he feels like a victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time. When he sees your collar bones and he tries to keep it very lokwey, but is highkey blushing

-Gives you some sketches of your favorite creatures, always "accidentally" makes your favorite dish for dinner nights, pouts a little when you need to be gone without him for a little

-If you're ever feeling insecure he might open his gob a little too much, "I get maybe why you'd feel that way but, if you ask me I think it's pretty hot" he says with a blank, enthusiastic smile on his face not at all understanding how that could come off

-You find out that the knight has a crush on you the first time he gets absolutely hammered with Senshi, Chilchuck as he was convinced by the two to get drunk

-The bar was packed in one of the "safe spaces" in town and you and Marcille were kinda the designated sober people within your party, and whilst the half elf was in the bathroom you decided to get some fresh air and got up from the stool seat

-"Whatcha' doing party is jus' getting started?" Laios asks

-You shot him a look over the shoulder and responded softly, "I need some fresh air hun, I'll be right back."

-And there went his inner dialogue. Out his mouth.

-"Woah, how sexy. Being in love really sucks sometimes since I'd really do tricks like a dog to be with them good god."

-The look you gave dobered him almost completely, and if that wasn't enough Marcille was right behind him and heard every word

-Love is cringe but he is free I guess.

Part Two:Kabru, Shuro and Falin!

[the-anime-enthusiast]

MHA CHARACTERS TYPES IN WOMEN

#1 Katsuki Bakugou

KATSUKI BAKUGOU - PHYSICAL

He likes his women tall and strong (with a scary similar demeanor to his mother 😭). I'm talking 5'6 and up, might feel weird about dating someone taller than him, but the more the merrier⁉️ (I also bc he gets to be around 5'10 to 6ft whenever he finally finishes growing) 🙏

He FOR SURE fw chubby girls, like a lifter kind of chubby... Someone strong and with muscle but something on their bones other than skin yk?

For some this is unfortunate, be he would NEVER date a blonde 😭 He thinks it's creepy cuz he feels weird about dating someone blonde considering his mom's blonde too 😭 He wouldn't mind a darker, more honey blonde than anything, though 😌

He LOVES freckles and moles 😈 He questioned his sanity given Izuku has freckles whenever he found out he liked them, but always tries to keep it out of his mind cuz he'll get the heebie-jeebies again 😔 despite the intrusive thoughts, he loves to kiss them and point out how pretty they are everytime he gets the chance 🤗

He def has a thing for strong legs and a nice ass 🌚 BROS FS AN ASS MAN 😭 Loves just hugging you from behind and grabbing it, not even to be a perv it's just comforting in a weird way 😭🙏

He fw hips to 🙏😌 something to squeeze and kiss on when he's yk 😶‍🌫️ "downtown" 😶‍🌫️ following this he likes stretch marks too, rubbing them feeling the difference in texture on your skin 🤧

Going back to the strong legs 🙏 (and a lil on the chubby stuff) HE FW HEAVY ON THICK ANKLES it's so strange to him and makes him question whether he's sane or not, but he loves it. FS the weirdest thing he find attractive 🫡

He also appreciates some skull crushers 😈 Doesn't even have to be all muscles, just something squishy that's too big for his hand to wrap all the way around 😌

LOVES A BROWN EYED BADDIE ‼️ He loves the look of doe eyes staring up at him but the second your face relaxes and you look like a cold stone bitch he twitches a lil 🤭 (if yk what I mean) He can't get the gojo meme out of his head and gets the heebie-jeebies when looking into someone's blue eyes 😭😭 (monoma freaks him out))

KATSUKI BAKUGOU - MENTAL

You know how he didn't hold back on Uraraka? 😈 Yeah, he likes women who can hold their own against him and honestly that's all he asks for. Ofc he has other standards but something about a strong woman who's just as hard headed as him, really gets him going 🌚

Given he's had to calm down since the war, he appreciates a little bit of feist in his partner, but also a side of them that can be sweet and just as doting as he is 🤭

One of the main points of the people he takes interest in, are that they feel safe around him. 🫶He wants someone who will just fall in his arms at the end of a long day ranting on about work into his neck as he just sits there and listens 🌹 (occasionally chiming in on your coworkers you don't like 😈 )...

KATSUKI BAKUGOU - RANDOMS

He fucks with MUSICIANS HEAVVYYYYY 🎸🎶 You gonna bust out the guitar and strum along to his crazy good beats? HELL YEAH‼️ Maybe some bass to back him up? FUCK YEAH‼️ Gonna pull out your own sticks and out drum him?? DOUBLE FUCK YEAH ‼️Maybe even the clarinet to impress his dad? Hell. Motherfucking. Yeah. Any instrument and he's automatically impressed, he's learned from playing the drums just how much dedication and hard work goes into learning so he truly appreciates it 😈

LOVES FOODIES ‼️ "Hey babe I was thinking of trying that new katsu-" "You don't even have to ask" he replied dragging you to the car. He loves when people eat his food and compliment him on it (although he'll never admit it) so a GF WHO DOES THAT? SIGN HIM UP. 🎂

Low-key fucks with shy girls 😉 He loves outgoingness, don't get me wrong, but whenever they're behind closed doors and his gf gets all shy and scared to look into his eyes he practically melts (the thought of knowing that his gf feels the EXACT same way as him makes him puddy in your hands) 😈

PHYSICAL TOUCH ‼️GIFT GIVING ‼️ QUALITY TIME ‼️ HIS WEAKNESSES ‼️‼️When he can't find the words to tell you how he feels he'll use these to his advantage, hugging you from behind kissing your neck, bringing a lil Stuffie home for you when he knows your down, or just sitting in silence with your favorite TV show on 😌🙏 All that matters is that hes close to you or in your arms making you feel good when you otherwise cant 🫶

THAT'S IT THANKYOU BYYEE 🫶🫶

these are some head cannons for da best boi bakugou bc he's been my fav character for 6 years and what better way to celebrate than curate a list of my fav head cannons for him 🫶

(lemme know who I should do next 😉)

OKAY NOW ACTUALLY BYE BYEEE 😍😍

[corvidcrossbow]

Daryl's into shibari but let me explain:

It's not even so much so in the kinky way for physical restraint and all that, but more in a sort of artistic or therapeutic way. Given his background in hunting, tracking and survival skills n whatnot, he already had talent in tying all sorts of knots – so it'd only make sense.

He played around with it when he was younger, and would sit with some yarn or other thin string, alone at whatever random shack he was currently crashing at, just practicing winding it around one of his hands, weaving over his wrist for a cuff, or incorporating his fingers and back of his hand into it – and as he grew more understanding of it, up his forearm, and maybe his thighs at some point too.

It's a sort of fidget for him. He's able to let his mind go and just focus on tying the knots in specific spots and creating intricate patterns and designs. It's relaxing, draws his thoughts into a craft and pushes back against all the intrusive ones. It quickly became something he could do subconsciously, so he uses it to help him think; clears his mind of everything else by keeping his hands busy so he can put attention to more important things.

Obviously he couldn't really do this once the apocalypse happened (he'd rather a walker bite him than someone catch him doing something viewed as taboo, plus you need to be able to up and move very suddenly) – so he swapped to tying and braiding large blades of grass & the young bark from trees.

He'd do a little at the prison during the timeskip, but wouldn't settle back into it till the post-Savior era. It took some readjusting because of all the times being tied up had been used against him in malicious manners post-apocalypse, but he worked to reclaim it and have it be something he could seek solace in again.

You'd learn about it eventually, once your friendship stretched to a relationship and was very deep and sturdy. He'd be so nervous and embarrassed to tell you since, again, it's a generally sexual thing, but it's not inherently like that for him and he didn't want you to think he was weird for it.

But when it came to involving you in it; that took even longer. He wouldn't be open to it at least until long after the Savior war – once things had kinda settled down: you had a secure place to live, a good network of people, and there wasn't a sense of an impending threat every day. You had some peace, and more importantly time.

Maybe it'd start with you two on a run together; you're in a hardware or outdoor supplies store, gathering bundles of rope and you'd make a joke about him tying you up, just to see how he gets flustered after picturing it.

But not long after, you two'd have a genuine conversation about it that'd end in sitting quietly on the edge of the bed together, Daryl loosely doing simple ties with some yarn around one of your hands. He felt very vulnerable, given he's essentially not only letting you into his therapy sessions, but incorporating you into it. Shibari became his scapegoat from his life and trauma-scarred psyche for years; it's something he treasures – and he treasures you the same way. It would always be very intimate.

So once you were both comfortable with it, he'd love it; just sitting together in the evenings and letting him create his little artistic nets of rope on your body, starting with just your hands then arms and simple knots that could be easily undone. Then as time passed, and a period of peace became more prevalent, he did more complex ones and covered more of your body.

Once you expanded, he went out on solo runs to find specific ropes he wanted, maybe swinging by adult stores if needed. The first time he did your torso, he was so utterly transfixed by it: kept breaking the silence every now and again to remark how beautiful you looked.

And then when you did your torso and all without a layer of clothes blocking your skin it pretty much broke him. He was instantly addicted to the way the color of the rope he chose complimented your skin tone, how it so perfectly curled around every curve of your body. Once he was done he just sat back and stared at you. With all the meaning behind it, it was one of the most gorgeous things he'd ever seen.

For the first long while, it was only designs on you, and they weren't physically retraining. He wanted both of you to have experience in it before coming to that. And then when you did, he bound your wrists together, constantly checking if you were okay with it, then undid it pretty quickly.

That's where it started to branch into more sexual territory. Some of it was the control aspect, but it was more so how trusting you were of him; letting him be in control like that – and again just how perfect you looked woven into his masterpieces. First he'd do it, drag eyes over your body, then undo them, toss it aside and kiss you to push you back to lay in the bed.

But then he started keeping them on – but not the more physically restraining ones at first, just the pretty decor ones. This is all a process of progression, so when you did get to more restraining, it was usually just binding your wrists, tying your limbs to the bed frame, or arms to your chest, once and a while a little more than that.

Shibari with him would never be like the more intense stuff you see in BDSM spaces n allat – he will not super roughly tie you up in some weird ass position where rope is digging into your skin and leaving burns behind. He is never one to completely immobilize you. You being super restrained would make him nervous even if you were okay with it. And he's not at all into suspension: he has the skills to set it up right but he doesn't trust it, and that's veering too much into deeper kinky territory for his taste. He doesn't want to ruin this for himself by making it so explicitly sexual.

Like I said, it's much more intimate and remedial. It's about appreciating your figure and including you in something so important to him. You with geometric shapes and knots of rope that he made delicately mapped around your body will always be one of his favoritest things.

And if you wanted to learn, he'd teach you. Knowing knots in general was important in the apocalypse, plus everything else about it. He'd let you restrain him to a further extent than he would you.

And him knelt in bed, rope around his upper thighs that circled his hips and waist, up his chest and around his torso, binding his arms behind his back with his red rag tied around his eyes like a blindfold quickly became one of your favoritest things too <3

And bunny would skyrocket as a petname for both of you cuz rope bunny, duh

Like c'mon that's my rope bunny rigger

[pupholez]

thinking about a partner haunting you after they pass away to make sure you never move on.....

thinking about them only having enough energy to linger at first but not really show signs of their presence, where maybe you just feel them a little or maybe dream of them but can't see them or interact... untilll you decide it's been enough time and you've done enough progress to start trying to date again. or at least get out and meet new people. and then suddenly your ghostly lover has a newly found energy at it's disposal and rage. who cares how long it's been? you're theirs. always. you were just going to do it right in front of them? fuck that.

that's when you start to notice things are weird. you can't find your keys before your date, can't find the cute underwear you laid out, can't find your phone to even let them know. but that's only the beginning- then comes the sleep paralysis. days spent too exhausted to hang out with anyone because all your nights are spent waking up petrified, feeling uncomfortably full and sensitive but unable to do anything but lay there and feel the invisible intrusions and let the out the littlest moans. you start to joke with your friends that you're in a friends with benefits relationship with your sleep paralysis demon. this only angers your poltergeist lover more however for daring to imply anyone else knew how to make you feel that good but them. so that night they made sure you knew.

when you woke up this time, it felt different. you could open your eyes, but everything was still dark. you were on your back. your assailant was already inside of you, as per usual, but had it blindfolded you? it was pitch black. next thing you realized is it was cold. like, uncomfortably cold. then it was what you heard. wind. leaves rustling. were you... before you had time to process it, you felt abruptly empty. was it over? could you move? you blinked a couple times and tried to move your toes when you felt the intrusion again. but this time, it hurt. this wasn't you were used to. then again. then again. it felt like pencils were being shoved inside of your poor hole, but you still couldn't move, still couldn't look down to see what was happening. and again. and again. and again. you counted twelve. you were crying now from the pain and confusion. you were entirely helpless to seemingly nothing in front of you. after the twelth, everything seemed to stop for a moment aside from the whispers of wind that almost sounded like moans if you listened hard enough. all you could do was lay there with your thoughts and feel it.

eventually you wake back up not even realizing you'd fallen asleep. the sun's coming up. you can move again. you hurt. you turn your head and see your clothes neatly stacked next to you, along with your phone and keys. you feel an uncomfortable sting and you look down. are those..? you reach down and touch, only to be met with something soft and velvety. appalled and confused, you yank it out and realize in horror what was inside of you.

you were holding crushed flowers in your hands.

frantically, you pull everything out of you only to realize it was an entire bouquet.

a familiar bouquet.

you bought this bouquet two days ago.

you sit up, and for the first time fully realize where you are.

at your feet is the gravestone you've visited a million times. only something catches your eye. on top of the stone, newly scratched in, simply said,

"mine. always."

[the-raindeer-king]

(Not super confident writing for Cod Ghosts, but this idea has been haunting me for months. For a while, I kept seeing posts about how Keegan is a weirdo, and like imagine if he had a partner who was the walking definition of "match their freak")

CW: mentions of drinking, gn! but reader is described as pretty

None of the Ghosts believed Keegan whenever he mentioned the pretty thing he's got waiting at home. When he mentions his sweetheart, the others always makes jokes like "your partner in Canada, right".

You can't really blame them for thinking he's lying. Keegan is kind of a weirdo. It's like there's no filter between his brain and his mouth anymore, and on more than one occasion, he's spoken his intrusive thoughts aloud.

So, when they finally have a rare moment of downtime, Keegan convinces you to join the team for drinks. They all stare as you two approach, absolutely gob smacked that Keegan wasn't making you up.

Maybe you're a little overdressed, but it's so rare for Keegan to be home anymore, and it's even more rare that you get the chance to go out anymore. On top of that, you're meeting the most important people in his life right now. First impressions matter, and you want to make a good one. Er, well, as good as you can.

Things start off well, just casual conversation as the other Ghosts are dying to know more about you. None of them can believe such a pretty, and awfully normal, person like yourself is with Keegan. An assumption that's quickly proven wrong.

There's a lull in the conversation, one that Keegan easily fills asking, "Think I could break this glass with my bare hands?"

Simultaneously, all the Ghosts turn to look at you, waiting to see how you handle Keegan and his lack of a filter.

"I mean, sure, but then you'd have to eat the glass. Can't be leaving a mess behind," you reply casually,

"Is this the good glass, or the bad glass?" Keegan continues, sliding his pint towards you.

You take the cup, sliding your finger across the rim for a moment. Taking a sip of his drink, you scrunch your face up in disgust, sliding the drink back to him. "Good glass, bad drink. So I won't be helping you eat it."

Keegan sighs sadly, nodding his head in agreement. The beer at this particular bar does suck.

The rest of the Ghosts stare at you in a mix of surprise and disappoint. Not disappointed in you, but in themselves, for thinking that Keegan's partner wouldn't be as weird as him.

[buckysgrace]

Mittens

A Christmas party leaves Steve hopeful as he finally admits his feelings.

CW: mentions of past pseudocest, mentions of alcohol, weed use, blowjobs, fem!oral sex, fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, dirty talk, some spitting and cum swapping, implied former pseudocest

Another gift for my sweet @sadhours who has been denied the gift of these two for so long. I hope you enjoy <3

Art at the bottom by @Scott1505236401 on twitter!! Her commissions are open!!

Kim

Kim stood in the corner, nursing a cup of sparkling cider as she examined the room in front of her. They had pushed the racks of movies towards the back of the room, leaving space to bring out the fold out tables. The air was sickeningly sweet, likely from all the desserts that had been brought out. 

She hadn’t been working at Family Video for very long, but it gave her more money than her previous job had. She felt bad for Susan, her mother. She knew she needed to help out in some way, so that’s what she did. She worked most nights, bringing her homework in on the slow nights so she wouldn’t fall behind in her classes.

The decorations had been thrown together last minute, strung up haphazardly about twenty minutes ago because Keith had failed to mention that he wanted the store to actually be decorated. It was messier than what she was used to, the simple decorations mirroring the ones that were currently strung up in her trailer. But she had at least made it look nicer. 

It wasn’t quite elbow to elbow, but there were more people than usual within the store. Partners were allowed to be brought, which signaled her out. She didn’t have anyone to bring along. She had attempted Max, figuring that her sister would make it less lonely, but she had refused in the end. 

“Pretty boring.” A soft voice appeared behind her, making her startle at the sudden intrusion. 

“Oh,” she jumped, nearly toppling her drink over in the process. Steve reached out at the same time she did, balancing her cup so that only a little bit of the liquid toppled out onto their fingers, “Oh God. I’m so sorry.”

“No, that was my bad,” he said with a little laugh, shaking his head as he quickly grabbed them a few napkins, “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He replied quickly, beginning to dab her fingertips clean. She blinked, trying to remember where he had disappeared to.

He had long removed his vest, the same way she had. His sweater was green, filled with various Christmas designs. She thought it looked cute, meanwhile hers was a bulbous white one. It had been her father’s years ago and was much too big for her, making her look like a giant marshmallow. But it was the only thing that she had. 

“You didn’t,” she gulped, realizing how snappy she sounded, “I mean, maybe you did a little bit.” She replied in a joking manner, breathing in deeply to make herself relax. She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous suddenly. She’d spent a lot of time with him recently, he was a good friend. In some way. 

“Sorry,” he apologized, giving her a little grin, “I’ll announce myself better next time.” He added as she set her drink down, moving the napkin across the rim, so the cup wouldn’t be sticky. 

“It’s fine,” She shook her head, “I was just distracted.” She admitted a second later, feeling like that was the best way to describe how she had been for the past few months. Everything felt rushed, but also slow at the same time. Like she’d been stuck in some sort of weird rut. 

“She looks happy, doesn’t she?” Steve asked her as he turned his attention back to Robin, his arms crossed in some proud way at the way she spoke to Vickie. She hadn’t came with Robin for obvious reasons, but they lingered by each other now. They were laughing about something, Kim wondered what.

“How long ago did they get together?” she asked softly, keeping her voice low just to be safe. She didn’t want to be the reason that Robin got exposed. But they were a cute couple, she just wouldn’t say that out loud. 

“Why, are you jealous?” he teased as he watched her, his eyes flickering with warmth. Her lips parted, wondering if he still thought that she had some sort of crush on Robin.  

“No,” she squeaked out quickly, her face burning once again, “They just look really cute together is all.” She nodded her head in determination as she continued to watch them, feeling like there was a knife going through her heart. It had nothing to do with Robin, rather how she deeply missed having someone to laugh with in that manner. She missed him. 

“A few months ago,” he replied a second later, his eyes warm against her face, “I’m glad I’m not the only single one here.” He added softly, his eyes still lingering on her face. She didn’t have the strength to look at him, embarrassed at how her relationship had fallen apart. 

“Me too,” she told him softly, “It feels nice not to stick out.” She told him truthfully as they fell into silence once again. She still hadn’t really mastered how to speak to Steve, knowing that she overthought every little interaction. Even when they worked together they were mostly quiet. Silent but comfortable. 

“How are things with you and -,” he began to bring him, his features turning to confusion as she faced him for the first time. 

“Nothing,” she said quickly, cheeks burning and eyes widening in fear that he would mutter his name. She didn’t need her heart to break all over again, “There’s nothing between us. We’re over.” She told him, the words clawing at her mouth like knives. It didn’t feel right to say that out loud, even if it was true. Well, at least for Billy.

It made sense that when Neil left, Billy left too. Even if he didn’t leave with his father, what else did Billy have left in this town? It wasn’t even worth staying another year for her. No, she had gotten left behind too.

She found out two weeks after he left that he had hooked a ride with Tommy; made his way back to California. Where he belonged. He sounded happy, at least at first. She remembered when they’d spend hours talking over the phone, how she would write so many letters that it made her hand cramp and fingers stiff.

Now she was too afraid to even dial the phone, knowing that she had become a burden again. He was out living his life; one of freedom. Like he deserved, and she couldn’t be angry at that. The last time they spoke she could hear the guilt in his voice, how his tone strained. And she couldn’t be the one to force him.

But she still wrote to him, even though she didn’t send them. The letters were hidden in her dresser drawer, slowly becoming reminders that she wasn’t good enough. She was sure they would be too heavy for him to read anyway, too tear soaked to make out the words. It served as just a little reminder for herself. 

“Oh,” he blinked slowly, like he didn’t understand, “That’s too bad.” She could tell by his tone that he was being honest, even if him and Billy hadn’t grown to be very close. She wished she could explain it more, but she was unable to. She knew she’d only end up crying if she opened up the scar on her heart. 

“I heard that you and Gina broke up,” she stated suddenly, crossing her arms over her chest in fear that he could see the gaping wound that was her heart. It felt easier to put him on the spot, even if it felt a little mean right now.

“Mutual agreement,” he said quickly as he took a long gulp from his cup, “I think she loves someone else.” His reply was soft, yet bitter at the same time. She felt bad for him, knowing that this was the second big heartbreak that he had gone through. 

“That sucks,” she nodded her head as she allowed herself to meet his big brown eyes, his features warm against the soft flickering of the Christmas lights. There was something soft in the way he composed himself, how he looked at her. It was different from a few months ago. 

“I guess I’m used to it,” he gave his shoulders a little shrug, a small smile on his lips as he teased himself. She nodded her head in agreement, wishing she had some sort of advice to give him. But she had none. She still hadn’t finished nursing her heartbreak. 

“I didn’t realize there would be so many couples here.” She told him instead, surprised that so many of her coworkers had someone else. She wished that she wasn’t so bitter and jealous. She wanted to have someone.

“I knew there would be as soon as Keith started talking about the girl he was seeing.” He snorted as he leaned against the counter, cocking his eyebrows like he was surprised. Keith’s girlfriend seemed nice, at least from the brief interaction they’d had with one another. 

“They make a really good couple.” She nodded her head as she pressed her lips together in a smile, hoping that would at least keep Keith off of her back. He wasn’t a creep, but he had attempted to ask her out more than what she was comfortable with. 

“Odd.” He snorted softly, taking her by surprise. Okay, maybe they did look a little odd but there was nothing wrong with that. Odd was better than nothing. 

“Odd can be good,” she giggled softly as she watched him, “At least he’s happy.” She hummed as she stole another cookie off of the tray, feeling like she hadn’t gone overboard on eating her feelings tonight. 

“Good for at least one of us.” He mumbled as he shook his head, reaching across her to grab a similar cookie from the tray. He munched on it roughly, looking as if he still had something to say. 

“Come on,” Robin rushed over, the fake antlers on her head nearly toppling over, “We’re starting the gift exchange.” She grinned in excitement as she gestured back towards the table of presents. Kim watched her for a moment, observing how her shirt was similar to Steve’s. They must’ve gotten it together, or maybe it was an older version of his. 

“I want to open mine first.” He stated proudly, making her heart drop a little bit. She didn’t want him to open his first, fearful that he wouldn’t like it. She didn’t want everyone to have to witness his displeasure. 

“Now?” Her voice cracked as she asked the question, her feet dragging on the floor as she followed them towards the messy table. Her pulse had quickened against the crook of her neck as her nerves settled on top of her. She wasn’t happy with how this was going. 

“Yes.” He stated sternly and proudly, his lips curling into a bright grind. He looked determined, making her emotions much more worried than she had been. 

She had panicked the second since she read who she had gotten for the gift exchange. Steve. It was like fate was cruelly digging its nails into her once again, because how else would the poorest one end up having to buy something for the richest coworker. What was she supposed to get for someone who had everything? 

From working late night shifts with him, she knew that he liked junk food. Popcorn with extra butter with some Raisinets thrown in there. In fact, his sweet tooth certainly challenged hers. More often than not, they’d end up sharing multiple bags of candy before the night was over. That was a start.

She forced herself to move, even though she felt like she had cement bricks stuck to her feet. She picked up the bag that she had delicately assembled, taking a deep breath as she walked towards him. 

“This is mine then?” He questioned as she passed the bag to him, her heart hammering at the way his brown eyes softened as he took it from her. She breathed in deeply, trying to ignore the flush in her cheeks as she gave a quick nod of her head in confirmation, “Sweet.” He was still watching her as he held the bag close to his lap, lips curled into a gentle smile. 

She sat back near Robin again, nervously twiddling her hair as he began to roughly pull the gift wrap out of the bag. He didn’t unwrap things neatly like Billy did, quite the opposite actually. He was excited, like he couldn’t wait to see what was inside.

“I hope you like it,” she added softly, feeling worried as he began to pull items out of the bag, “I wasn’t sure what to get you.” She told him seriously, wishing that he had written on the list of suggested items. He had only shrugged and told Robin that he needed nothing when she had asked. 

“Candy,” he grinned as he pulled it out, “Going straight for my heart.” He was teasing, but that did nothing to stop her pulse from quickening against the side of her neck. She wasn’t trying to impress him. Well, maybe she had been a bit. She just didn’t want to be labeled as a bad gift giver either. 

“It’s all grape flavored.” Robin stated as she leaned over, inspecting the various candy bags that he pulled free. She wrinkled her nose up, looking less than pleased by the choices. 

“I love grape.” He stated as he wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion, pausing his movements as he looked at her seriously. Kim breathed in deeply at his confirmation, recalling how he always ate the grape flavored candies that they shared.

“You’re odd, Harrington.” She replied as she sat back in her spot, only to be hit with a piece of wadded up wrapping paper. She scoffed, shoving at Steve as he dug back into his bag. 

“Some music,” he replied proudly as he waved the tape around, “A new wallet, some cologne, a mug-,” He paused as he looked up at her, eyebrows crinkling together, “Kim, there’s a bunch of items in here.” He replied as his eyes met hers, a puzzled look on his features. She shifted in her chair, feeling uncomfortable by the people that turned towards her. Now, she felt like she had overdone herself. 

“I didn’t know what to get you,” she blushed harshly, feeling like she really hadn’t gone overboard, “There’s just one more thing at the bottom.” She said softly, watching as he began to tug the yarn out of the bottom of the bag. She wondered if she should have said anything at all, or if it would’ve been better for him to find it later on his own. Or to destroy it. It wasn’t any of her business. 

It had taken her some time to figure out what colors he would like, but she finally landed on a soft red.  She knew handmade items weren’t very popular, but she hoped he liked it the same.

“Wow,” he paused as he examined it, holding it out to make her wince. She hadn’t realized just how long she had made it, “I love it.” He told her genuinely, eyes cozy and syrupy as they made contact again.

“Really?” She asked him as she bit back her smile, feeling relieved suddenly. He had been a lot harder to shop for than what she had expected and she knew that had made gifts weren’t really wanted, but he had at least mentioned that he enjoyed practical things. A scarf was practical. 

“Yeah,” he smiled as he looped it around his neck. She winced, noting that she had definitely made it too long, “This is definitely going to keep me warm. And I can’t wait to listen to the mixtape.” He nodded his head encouragingly, making her feel much better.

“I don’t know much about music,” she started as she crossed her legs, twisted her fingers through her hair, “So I hope you like it.” She said softer this time, trying to keep herself from bouncing her leg up and down. She could feel her face burning, her nerves shot as she waited for someone else to grab a present. She was not going next. 

“My turn,” Robin clapped her hands as she stood up, grinning widely as Keith brought her rather heavy looking bag over, “Thank you.” She shared a quick look with Steve, something that everyone else seemed to miss. He rubbed the side of his temple, like he already knew it would be bad. 

“What did you get?” Vickie questioned as she began to dig through her bag, paper and glitter flying through the air as she did so. Kim leaned forward, trying to get a better look at it. 

“Fruitcake,” Robin responded, a tight smile forming on her lips, “Gee, thanks. I love fruitcake.” She nodded as she held up the loaf of fruitcake, lumpy and neatly browned. Steve covered his palm over his mouth, hiding away his grin. 

“My mom made it,” he said proudly, nodding his head, “Oh, but there’s a gift card in there.” He said at last, at least making it up to her in some way. At least he tried, even though Robin’s list had been long and detailed. 

“I also love shopping, so thank you,” she nodded as she put her items back in her bag, “Well, let’s keep going.” She pressed her lips tightly together, eyes crinkling as Steve nudged her foot with his. A little knowing gesture, reminding her that they would be discussing that later. 

Kim watched as the rest of them opened their presents, deciding that she would just prefer to go last anyway. She wasn’t too keen on everyone watching her, but she supposed she’d have to suffer like the rest of them had.

She held her fingers tightly together, trying to keep herself from chewing her lipstick off as everyone else engaged in conversation around her. She wasn’t really sure how to talk to anyone else, despite spending so much time working with them. Like she was an outsider. 

“Here,” she blinked up in surprise, not expecting for Steve to be the one that had her name, “I got this for you.” He clarified as he held it out towards her, his hair falling onto his forehead. It was slightly longer than it had been over the summer. 

“Thanks,” she mumbled, examining the wrapped present in front of her. It was messy, with at least five bows shoved on top of it to likely cover up the pieces of the wrapping paper that had come undone, “I’m sure I’ll love it.”

She gently ripped the paper apart, revealing a box that had the top messily folded in on itself. She pulled that open next, beginning to dig through the items. There were four different copies of various romance novels, new ones that she hadn’t read. A pink pair of fuzzy socks, a lotion and perfume set, and then a smaller box inside.

She pressed it open softly, eyes widening as she revealed the pair of earrings. There were two gems, a small circle one that rested against her earlobes and then a long oval one that would dangle. They were green, emeralds she assumed. Along the edges of the emeralds were smaller golden stones, making her sure that he had definitely gone over their twenty dollar budget. 

“Do you like it?” He asked her, his tone filled with just as many nerves as hers had been. She wasn’t sure how he thought she’d say no. Of course she loved it.

“Yeah,” she told him in surprise, blinking quickly, “It’s stunning. All of it. Thank you.” She told him quickly, feeling like her heart had only started to bleed harder. She wasn’t going to allow herself to feel the cracks, to break down. Not now. This was something good. 

“Good,” he smiled at her, lines forming underneath his eyes from where he was grinning so hard, “The green reminded me of your eyes.” He told her, leaving her surprised. She had never had anyone mention that the green stuck out. 

“We should do a round of white elephant.” Robin suggested as she clasped her hands together, taking Kim by surprise. She jumped as she quickly turned away from him, hoping that he didn’t feel that she was staring at him. She was just grateful. 

“What’s that?” Steve asked as he drew his eyes away, his eyebrows furrowing together at the way she smirked at him. She held her gift back up dramatically, giving it a little shake. 

“You get a chance to steal a present,” she nodded, smiling brightly, “And then that person gets to take someone else’s gift.” She gave her shoulders a little shrug, earning a little round of agreements through the room. Kim stared back down at the jewelry in her hands.

“Sure,” she glanced around, only because she didn’t want to be the only one to disagree, “That seems like fun.” She replied as she kept a tight grip on her present, unwilling to let it go. She didn’t think it would be right to give her present up, not when Steve had spent time thinking about what she would like. And how he had based a gift around her eyes. It was special. 

“I can start then,” Robin declared as she held her hands together, her blue eyes falling to Steve’s gifts on his lap, “Hand it over, Harrington.” She replied proudly with a smirk, moving her hand up to tug on the bottom of her scarf.

“No.” He said quickly as he pulled away, his eyebrows furrowed tightly together as he picked up his bag and held onto it tightly. She felt herself sighing underneath her breath, feeling relieved that he didn’t want to let it go so easily. 

“You have to.” Robin protested as she looked at him in disbelief, glancing around the room to wait for some kind of support. But no one else intervened. Kim liked Robin, but she didn’t want Steve to pass it along either. 

“I’m not giving it up.” He said as he shook his head sternly, looking serious as he clutched the bag closer to himself. She felt her chest lurch as he glanced towards her, amusement brewing inside his eyes. 

“That’s not how the game works.” She continued to protest, kicking her feet out this time as she whined. He shrugged his shoulders, looking like it wasn’t his problem. 

“Well I don’t care,” he retorted, “It’s mine and I’m not giving it up.” He replied as he leaned towards her, giving her a grin. She scoffed as she placed her palm over his face and roughly pushed him away. 

“You’re such a spoiled brat.” She huffed as she rolled her eyes, scanning the room as she tried to decide on who to attack next. Kim pulled her bag closer to herself, just to be safe. She tried to remain relaxed, however, just in case Robin was looking for someone that wanted to keep their gift.

“You’re just jealous that I got the best gift.” He replied proudly as he fussed with his now messy hair, then wiped at his face from where she had pushed him. Something inside of Kim bloomed from his words, excitement tickling the butterflies inside of her stomach. She hadn’t felt this giddy in a long time. It confused her. But she had long learned that the deeper she thought about her feelings, the more confused and upset she grew. It wasn’t worth meddling in. 

Robin tried a few more times before she ended up unsuccessful, stuck with her lumpy loaf of fruitcake. She felt bad, but she didn’t want to exchange with her either. Her gift truly did feel special. She couldn’t wait to tell Max about it and Susan-, even though she knew she’d be teased about it. 

No one tried to steal her gift, which she was happy with. She was sure that she wouldn’t be able to defend herself in the same way that Steve had. All the confidence she felt like she had gained over the summer had slowly seemed to slide away, disappearing just like he had. 

She took one more swig from her cup, wishing that there was something stronger in it as she downed the rest of the liquid. She checked the clock on the wall, confirming that Susan would be home by now. She just hoped that she hadn’t forgotten about her again. 

“Thanks for this again,” Steve approached her, making her jump once again. She laughed awkwardly as she rubbed at her chest, unsure of why she was so tense, “I really love it.” He told her as a soft smile spread across her lips, making her wonder why she had ever stopped liking him in the first place. 

“Well,” Keith grinned at the two of them, holding his items in hand as he wiggled his way between into the small gap, “I hope you don’t mind locking up.” He added slowly, making her blanch. 

“What do you mean?” Steve spoke up, looking just as irritable as she felt. She fought the urge to sigh and roll her eyes. She needed this job, but it was late. She wanted to get home and have a good cry. She thought she was allowed to do that. 

“You were on shift so,” he nodded his head as he looked at them back and forth, “I sort of need you to clean up.” He added as a kind smile filled his lips. She closed her eyes, feeling like she should’ve known there would’ve been a reason nobody else wanted this shift. 

“But this is everyone’s mess.” Steve gestured about, his expression dripping with frustration. She bit her lip as she shrugged her jacket off of her shoulders again, feeling like there was no point in arguing. She just hoped she’d be paid for it. 

“But you’re off tomorrow, so that’s fun!” Keith added as he clapped his hands together, the sound muffled from the mittens on his gloves. She supposed he was right. Maybe it was only fair. Or maybe she was just too tired to argue with him. 

“It’s fine,” Kim nodded her head, interjecting the two of them, “It won’t take long to finish up.” She tried to sound as encouraging as she could, even though she wanted to kick her feet in defeat. Closing always seemed so much worse when she was wanting to rush to get out. 

The glitter and garlands had seemed to be a good idea at first, but now it was more of a pain to get it all tore down. They ended up discarding them into old paper bags, unsure if anyone was wanting to keep them or not. Steve had already torn down two of the windows before she had asked if it was supposed to be kept up until the year was officially over. Neither of them knew the answer, so they went with no. 

Once the racks were back to normal and freshly organized after she had accidentally toppled once over, they decided it was good enough for them to leave. Everything looked like it was back to normal, for the most part. 

“I need to call my mom,” she said as she glanced at the time, “She’s supposed to come and get me.” She replied as she peeked out the windows again, noting how it was vacant. Steve’s car was the only one that was sitting there nicely, covered with a fresh layer of snow. 

“Sure,” he nodded his head, “I’ll wait.” He shrugged his shoulders as he leaned against the desk, his scarf wrapped loosely around his neck. 

She winced as she typed in the number, taking in a deep breath as she reminded herself that the phone bill had been paid. That couldn’t be the excuse this time. She listened as it rang and rang, and rang a little more. No answer. She hung the phone up in defeat, unsure of what she was supposed to say. 

“She’s not answering,” she pressed her lips together, trying not to think about what that meant, “It’s not a long walk from here.” She replied as she wrinkled her features up, thinking of how painful it would be. It was even colder than the last time she had done it. And it was much darker. She didn’t like walking in the dark around here. 

“You’re joking.” He replied as he stared at her in disbelief, his brown eyes wide as he quickly shook his head. She paused, not wanting to argue about this. 

“No,” she gulped, “I mean it’s fine.” She squeaked out as she glanced at how the snowflakes only seemed to get larger and fatter. She might freeze to death on the way home, but at least she tried.

“It’s snowing outside.” He pointed out as he gestured towards the parking lot that was covered in a thick layer of snow, making her lips part as she tried to think of a way to brush his statement off. Maybe she could sleep in the back office. 

“I’ll be okay.” She said once again, forcing a smile onto her lips. She felt like things could be worse. She was sure Susan just lost track of time. Maybe if she called again, she’d answer. Or Max would. 

“I can give you a ride home.” He told her in determination as he moved his hands to his hips, looking genuine. He spoke like he wasn’t going to give her another option. 

“It’s out of your way.” She told him seriously. It was way out of his way, on the opposite side of town actually. She would feel bad. And in all honesty, she was a little embarrassed of her current address. She wasn’t sure what he would think about the trailer park when he came from somewhere so nice. 

“Or you could come over,” he suggested slowly, his hands relaxing on his sides, “Just to like, hang or whatever.” He stated slowly, his expression relaxing as his gaze remained locked on hers. She shifted on her feet. 

“Oh.” She said softly, her tongue feeling heavy in her mouth as her face burned. She blinked as she began to tug on her hair, trying to keep from concentrating on the way her heart was beating inside of her chest. Had he really just asked her to come over?

“I have alcohol and weed,” he continued on, suddenly looking a little nervous, “And my parents aren’t back yet. It gets a little lonely.” He told her at last, making her eyebrows raise at the way he revealed his answer. She glanced back outside as she thought about it, deciding it was better than walking in the snow. And having to deal with Susan and her drinking problem.

And she’d finally be able to really hang out with him. On her own. It was terrifying yet exciting at the same time. She had no idea what she was going to say, how she was going to act. But she might not ever get a chance to do it again. 

“Okay,” she replied at last, “Sure, but I don’t want to intrude.” She added softly as she pressed her fingers together this time, feeling like she would only be bothering him. 

“You’re not,” he reassured her quickly, “And there’s a spare room. I could take you back tomorrow.” He pressed his lips together as he shifted the scarf over his shoulders again, his expression relaxed and kind. 

“I have nothing to wear.” She added again, not sure if she really wanted to sleep in her current outfit. She bit her bottom lip, watching as joy grew on his features. She felt her nerves spark to life again, wondering if she really deserved for him to look at her in that manner. 

“I could loan you something.” He shrugged his shoulders as he continued to watch her, his body relaxed and calm. She nodded her head once again, feeling like she was just trying to find excuses at his point. 

“Okay.” She told him as she gathered her things, fairly certain that he could tell just how shy she had become. She held onto her gifts tightly, waiting as he grabbed his keys. 

“Are you ready then?” he asked as he tilted his head, watching as she slowly nodded her head in agreement. There was nothing else she needed here, “You wanna share my extra warm scarf?” He asked as a playful smile formed on her lips, making her blush all over again. 

“You don’t have to wear it.” She told him seriously as they walked towards the door, still debating if she had gotten him the wrong thing. He stopped, turning to look back at her. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked seriously, “I love it.” He expressed deeply, a grateful expression on his features as he held the door open for her. She held her breath as she walked out into the blistering cold, her exposed skin burning as the wind swept into her. 

She sat out with him, scarf linked around both of their necks as he worked on getting the jammed door to shut. To get the door to lock, he had to wiggle it back and forth, then twist the key in just the right way. It was frustrating. 

“And we’re good,” he said after he rattled the door harshly, just to ensure that it was really locked, “It’ll take just a minute for the car to warm up.” He apologized as he quickly walked forward, nearly choking her out and knocking them both over in the process. He held his hands up quickly, an apologetic look on his features as he steadied her.

“It’s okay,” she said softly, smiling as she untangled herself from the scarf and fixed it over his neck instead, “Better than walking home in the cold.” She told him truthfully, feeling her bones rattling in her body from how cold it truly was. She really wouldn’t have made it back. 

“Right,” he nodded as he drifted his eyes across his features, “You’re probably not used to the snow.” He held his hands in his pockets as his eyes trailed down to her lips, his expression soft as she raised her eyebrows slightly. 

“I hate the cold.” She admitted, fighting back a grin at the way he started to move again. Like he realized that he had been staring. She followed him to his car, taking cautious steps to keep from slipping on the layer of ice underneath the snow. 

He held the door open for her, letting her get in first before he ran behind the car and reached the driver’s seat. She looked around at his neat car, breathing in the smell of citrus that lingered about. It was nice, different but in a good way. 

“Shit, it’s freezing,” he huffed as he started the car, quickly turning on the heat as the music roared to life. She blinked in surprise, not used to him listening to such loud and heavy music, “Sorry.” He mumbled as he quickly turned it down. She thought about asking him when his taste in music had changed, but she decided not to do it right now. 

“It’s alright,” she paused as she moved her hand forward, unable to stop herself, “You smoke?” She asked in surprise, a familiar feeling racing through her as she inspected the Marlboro Reds. They were heavy, like they had been untouched. 

“Uh,” he stalled for a moment, “Off and on.” He shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal. She nodded as she set them down, trying to recall if she had ever caught him smoking. She supposed that most people did; it was no big deal. Just surprising. 

“This brand?” She was unable to let it go for a moment, like it was some bitter reminder. She shook her head before she set them back down. 

“Sometimes,” he mumbled as his eyes drifted back towards her, “They’re really strong, though.” He admitted a moment later, bringing a smile to her lips. They really were strong, too intense for her to ever handle. 

“And stinky.” She said with a little giggle as she thought of how extreme the smell was. She often felt like she’d cough a lung up just by smelling it. 

“Really stinky.” He agreed with a little laugh as he laid his head back against the seat. She settled in the same, watching the gentle way the snowflakes fell onto the front of the car. She thought it was odd that she could still see the stars, however, but they were hard to hide away. 

They settled into silence as the car continued to warm, the heat finally beginning to blaze to life as she rubbed her fingers together. Steve was better at driving in this type of weather, used to it in a way that she would never be accustomed to. 

“You know, there was a while back that I mentioned my friend liking you? So I couldn’t break the friend code?” He spoke up suddenly, taking her by surprise as she looked away from where the trees were turning white. She thought about it for a moment as she nodded her head, trying not to recall how desperate she had been back then. 

“Uh,” she flushed as she thought about it, “Yeah, I remember.” She added as she moved her cold hands underneath her thighs, trying to keep them warm. She turned towards him as he remained silent. He had one hand on the wheel, the other placed near the top of his head as he stuck his tongue out in concentration. 

“Well, that friend is dating someone.” He said slowly as he stuck his tongue back in his mouth, keeping his gaze pointed straight ahead. She felt her eyes slightly narrowing, trying to decide where he was going with this. 

“I’m glad for them.” She said kindly, meaning it too. She knew who he was speaking about, but she wouldn’t put Robin on the spot like that. 

“So there’s not any code anymore,” he continued on, his voice lowering, “So maybe you'd want to go out sometime?” His tone was almost in a whisper by the time he finished speaking, his expression hopeful as he faced her again. She stared, momentarily taken aback. 

“On a date?” She questioned, searching for clarification as her mouth suddenly felt dry. Everything was warm, her face and her insides. This wasn’t the way she pictured him asking her out, but she would take it. 

“We could go to dinner or a movie, or even hang out here. Or at work.” He suggested as he used his one hand to gesture, shrugging his shoulders like it was no big deal. Meanwhile, she was fighting the urge to keep from kicking her feet and squealing. 

“We do work together. Like all the time.” She reminded him lightly, sure that he could hear the excitement in her tone. She cleared her throat, trying to remind herself to stay calm. To be cool. 

“Yeah.” He replied with a smile on his lips, his eyebrows raising as he nodded his head at her answer. She pressed her lips together, moving into her next question. 

“Is that a good idea?” She asked him seriously, sure that things never went well when you got with a coworker. At least that’s what Addi had said. But what did she really know?

“We could find out,” he replied with a grin, “Come on, I’m a total gentleman.” He promised as he moved his hand over his chest, a sincere look in his eyes. She pressed a little smile to her lips, thinking that he was sincere. 

“Does this count as a date?” She asked him softly, feeling like it sort of counted. Then again, she hadn’t been on many dates. But she didn’t think there was a certain rule over what a date consisted of. 

“Absolutely,” he grinned as he pulled into a driveway, “As long as you’re alright with it.” He added a little softer, his gaze tender. Her heart hammered in her chest, fully aware of the way he was looking at her. It was different from the way Billy had watched her. 

“I am,” she replied softly, “I’m more than fine with it.” She told him truthfully, trying to ignore the guilt that was brewing inside of her. She had nothing to feel bad for. She was single. She was allowed to move on, with whomever she wanted. 

She carried her present into the house, glancing around in awe at how pretty the inside was. She knew the Harrington’s had money, but it was far more grand than she could’ve imagined. Perhaps the biggest house that she had ever set foot in.

The living room was vast, the fireplaces unlit but the room was still warm. Gold garland covered the room, neatly decorated in a specific and meaningful way. She could tell from the fresh smell and the way the branches were shaped that the tree was real. There were no lights on it, rather it was covered with the same golden garland. She took a step closer to it, admiring the various ornaments that decorated the limbs. 

“My mom really liked gold this year,” Steve spoke up from behind her, somewhere in the kitchen as she continued to scan the items on the tree, “She picks something new every year.” He continued to explain as she knelt down, admiring the foam gold star that was hanging from the tree limb. She flicked it around, smiling at the picture that rested there.

Steve couldn’t be any older than eight, his hair messy and over his forehead as he smiled brightly. It must’ve been a school project, something that he had worked on years ago. It was sweet. 

“So I’ve got uh,” he paused for a moment as he walked back into the room, “Some whiskey or we could smoke a little?” He suggested instead, his eyebrows cocked as she turned to face him. She thought about it for a moment, but decided that alcohol would be too dangerous for her. Anymore, she wasn’t very pleasant when she drank. 

“Smoking sounds like fun.” She nodded her head as she followed him, slowly stripping her layers off. She felt awkward standing in the large room, surprised with how large everything was. She wasn’t used to being in a place so grand. 

“It’s in my room,” he gestured back towards the stairs, chewing on his bottom lip, “It’s kinda messy.” He apologized as he met her eyes, but she simply shook her head. It couldn’t be any messier than the trailer was right now. 

“I don’t mind,” she told him truthfully, holding onto the railing as she followed him upstairs, “Your house is huge. It’s very pretty.” She complimented, surprised by how quiet it was. She supposed that was to be expected, however, considering that there were no nearby neighbors. He didn’t have to worry about Eddie Munson playing his guitar annoying loud at three in the morning. 

“That’s all thanks to my mom,” he paused as he glanced back towards her, “I guess you know her.” He crinkled his eyebrows together as she thought about it, reminding herself that she did know his mom. 

“Oh yeah,” she nodded her head as she stepped into the room behind him, “She saw me naked.” It slid off of her tongue before she could stop herself, her cheeks flushing as she winced.

“Kinda her job,” he said with a chuckle as he walked towards his bedside table, pulling out a baggy as she inspected the odd wallpaper designs, “Do you want to take a hit first?” He questioned as he slid onto the floor, stretching his long arms out in front of him. 

“You can.” She stated as she joined him on the floor. She crossed her ankles as she sat towards him, her knees brushing against his thigh. 

“You know how to smoke it?” He questioned her as he held the joint between his lips, looking at her curiously before he lit it. It had been a long time since she’d done it, but she sort of knew what she was doing. 

“Yeah,” she said with a little laugh, “I’ve done it before. Oh, but just once. I don’t smoke. Not really. My mom would freak out and I don’t like the taste.” She rambled on quickly, hoping that she wasn’t giving him the wrong idea. 

“It’s fine,” he smiled as he watched her, “You don’t have to explain anything to me.” He told her kindly as he took a deep inhale, dropping his head back before he blew the smoke out from between his lips. 

She held her fingers out as he passed it to her, trying to ignore the feeling of their fingers brushing together. She was suddenly nervous, her hand trembling as she brought the joint up to her lips. She tried not to think about how it had just been in her mouth, trying not to focus on if she might taste him on it.

She pressed it between her lips, praying that he couldn’t read just how nervous she was. She breathed in deeply, taking a larger hit than she would’ve preferred as she let the smoke settle in her lungs. She did her best to hold it for a second or two, but it smacked into her so roughly that she ended up coughing over it. 

“You alright?” He asked worriedly as he brought his palm against her back, lightly patting her skin to help her hack up the smoke that was still clawing its way out of her chest. Her eyes burned, watering as she tried to find the strength to speak. 

“Sorry,” she covered her mouth for a moment, her chest still rattling as she tried to hack up the smoke that was clinging to the bottom of her lungs, “That was a lot.” She told him weakly, a tear falling down her cheek as she passed the joint back towards him. 

“You did good, Mayfield,” he teased, the sound of her last name rolling off of his tongue nearly made her lungs swell once again, “Try it again.” He encouraged as she rubbed at her chest with her free hand. She breathed in fresh air before she did as he said, taking a smaller hit this time. So much for trying to impress him. 

They passed the joint back and forth until she felt a relaxing sensation settling over her. She felt like she was floating in the clouds, her mind calm and her body light. She crawled about the room, determined to inspect what she could. 

“You like Lord of the Rings?” She asked as she pulled the book towards her, excitement tingling in her stomach as she blinked a few times to read the title. Her eyes felt heavy, squinted as she realized she was wearing a goofy smile. 

Steve was standing for whatever reason, until she noted that he had put her things on his desk. He turned in surprise, eyebrows raising on his forehead as he looked at the book between her fingertips. 

“Oh, yeah,” he nodded his head quickly, hands resting on his hips, “It’s uh, it’s great.” He responded as he stuck his tongue out, eyebrows furrowing together like he was concentrating. Or remembering something. 

“Sam is my favorite character,” she told him gently, pressing her lips together at the way his eyes widened, like he was searching for something to say, “That’s my dads name.” She added softly as she put the book back, wrapping her fingers around one of the other drawer handles. 

“Your dad?” he questioned, features relaxing as his eyes warmed with interest, “Is your dad in San Diego?” He asked as he quickly joined her again, pressing his fingers against the drawer she nearly slid open. Like he was hiding something. She narrowed her eyes as she watched him, trying to determine if there was something secretive in there. She wanted to know.

“Mhm,” she nodded as she pressed her fingertips together, “He’s an alcoholic.” She stated, too tired to fight with his large hands. She moved around again, missing the expression on his features, before her legs felt like jello. Too much work, effort. She was limp. 

She giggled as she laid down on the floor, her hands resting above her head as she stared up at the ceiling. She wished she had her little stars that she could stick onto it, feeling like it would be very interesting to look at right about now. 

“What are you laughing about?” He asked as he joined her, resting on his side as he laid his cheek in his palm. She watched him, trying not to stare at the way his shirt pulled up in the process. She could make out about an inch of skin, just enough to show the trail of hair that dipped into his pants. 

“I can’t believe I’m in your house.” She said as she slowly brought her eyes up towards him again, holding her hands together as another smile formed on her lips. She was sure that she had just gotten caught staring, but she couldn’t worry about it at the moment. 

“Why?” He furrowed his eyebrows as his expression slowly relaxed, the corners of his lips curling into a smile. Like the weed had finally hit him. 

“I thought you hated me.” She told him seriously, softly. She was exposing a secret, one that she was sure he didn’t know. But then again, maybe he had hated her at one point. 

“Hated you?” he asked, tilting his head in disbelief, “I never hated you. I told you the whole thing with Rob-, I mean my friend, I couldn’t just intervene.” He said with a serious nod of his head, a small laugh slipping from his lips. 

“Alright.” She narrowed her eyes playfully before she turned back towards the ceiling, wondering if she could make out any designs from that far up. She held her hands out in front of her, stretching her fingers out as she did so. 

“I didn’t think you were actually into me anyway,” he said, making her crinkle her eyebrows together as she looked at him in disbelief, “Okay, maybe you made it a little obvious.” He admitted as he laughed, making her giggle all over again. 

“I’ll be embarrassed about that tomorrow.” She said as she roughly dropped her hands to her sides, wincing at the hard way she hit the floor. She knew she had been obvious about it. Damn it. 

“You shouldn’t be,” he huffed as he turned her chin in his direction, “I also liked you.” His tone was softer, huskier as he admitted it to her. She giggled again, surprised at how close they were to one another. 

“But you didn’t do dumb things like I did.” She told him honestly, thinking about how she would desperately search for him no matter where she went. Even if it was grocery shopping with Susan. She sought him out. It was embarrassing. 

“What did you do?” He asked suddenly, tilting his head as his eyes lingered on her lips again. He had a similar goofy smile on his lips, only she was sure that he wore it a lot better than she did. 

“Nothing,” she said quickly, thinking of her stupid journal. Good riddance to it. Steve would never know about it, “You’re being tricky.” She pushed at his shoulder gently, her fingers remaining as he moved back against her. 

“Am I?” He teased her, his hand falling to the side of her face. She was aware of how hard her heart was beating against her bones as he slowly tucked her hair behind her ear. She gulped hard, recalling the similar motions. He rubbed his fingers across her cheek next, then against her chin. 

“Are you a virgin?” She asked him suddenly, unsure of why that slipped off of her tongue. It made her laugh all over again. It was a ridiculous question, but she was curious. 

“Am I a-,” he paused as he looked at her, his expression turning to disbelief before he started to laugh, “Did you really ask me that?” He laughed, the gap between their faces suddenly fading. 

“I did,” she confirmed with a nod of her head, feeling a grin form on her lips, “I know you’re not.” She said at last, tracing her finger across the design on his sweater. 

“And how do you know that?” His question surprised her, because it wasn’t uncommon knowledge at all. She had heard a lot of things when she first moved here. 

“Lots of girls talk,” she explained, “And I heard about how you took Nancy’s virginity.” She teased as she thought about it, thinking about how badly she had wanted him to take hers. She was silly back then. 

“Tommy?” He grumbled as he asked, sighing like he already knew. She bit her lip, wondering if she should give the answer away. 

“He has a big mouth,” she giggled as she held her hands to her chest, “I like him though. He’s sweet.” She admitted as she nodded her head roughly. Even though Tommy was gone now, and he could be a dick. 

“Only because he wants to get into your pants.” He grumbled as he fell down next to her, resting his arms behind his head. His shirt lifted higher this time, all the way up to his belly button. She stared greedily, wondering if he liked when people kissed that exposed area of his skin. 

“What was your favorite thing to do during sex?” She interrogated him as she rolled onto her side this time, doing everything she could to keep from reaching out and touching him. She suddenly felt warm, like there was energy buzzing inside of her. 

“What’s with all the sex questions?” He turned towards her, a lazy look resting across his features as his lips curled into an even deeper grin. He thought she was teasing him, but she really wasn’t. But she was still with it enough to know that she shouldn’t admit to being horny right now. 

“I haven’t had sex in a long time,” she admitted, “Well-,” She paused as she counted on her fingers, then restarted once she lost track, “Almost five months. Which is a long time, but not the biggest stretch I’ve ever had, you know?” She spoke out loud, surprising herself. Maybe he didn’t want to know that. 

“You’re odd.” He said at last, laughing as he looked at her. It took her a moment to realize that he was being funny too. It would not be fun to get kicked out of his house in this condition. 

“I think I miss sex,” she whispered underneath her breath, watching the way his hazy eyes widened, “But like a specific kind of sex, you know? Were you like that?” She asked him, feeling like he could relate to a heartbreak or two. There had been Nancy and then there was Gina. Poor guy faced it back to back. 

“I’m still in a rut,” he muttered as he exhaled deeply, wrinkling his nose up, “But yeah, I guess I know what you mean.” He was staring at the wall this time, looking to be deep in through. 

She continued to let her eyes drop back to his exposed stretch of skin, imagining herself crawling over to him. She thought about placing her lips just above his jeans, then kissing up towards his belly button. She wondered if it was wrong that she wanted to taste him, just to flick her tongue out and tease him a little bit. 

“What kind of sex do you miss?” He asked curiously, drawing her out of her dirty thoughts. She could vaguely feel the warmth dipping down between her legs, making her clit throb in pleasure. There was a lot of sex that she missed. All of it. 

“Blowjobs,” she answered quickly, surprising herself, “I don’t know why I just said that.” She said with wide eyes, covering her mouth as she muffled her laughter. He sat up, sadly making his shirt slid back down in the process. 

“You haven’t been with anyone else, right?” He asked her curiously, his eyes slightly reddened. She looked at how messy his hair was, like he had been messing with it. 

“Is that a problem?” she asked seriously, feeling a little worried, “No, I haven’t been with anyone else. But I think I know what I’m doing.” She replied as confidently as she could. At least, she thought she was doing a good job. 

“Are you bragging?” He questioned her, looking whimsical. But maybe he was admiring her once again. She couldn’t really tell. Not in this state. 

“No,” she replied quickly, a goofy smile forming on her lips, “I’m just saying that I’m somewhat experienced. I think.” She added at last, giggling as she brought her hands over her face.

“Are you going to ask me what I miss?” He hummed, suddenly leaning over her as he pulled her hands away from her face. She stared up at his big brown eyes, enjoying the shape of them. There was something about them that made her feel warm, wanted. She kept herself near him, not wanting him to move his fingers away from her wrists. 

“Oh, yes,” she nodded her head urgently, “What do you miss about sex, Steve Harrington?” She asked as she bit down on her bottom lip, stretching her legs out as she shifted softly. She wondered if he knew just how much this was effecting her. 

“I liked eating pussy,” he said as he rolled on his back, sighing deeply, “I mean I like it. I just haven’t been able to do it in a while.” His expression was almost sinister, showing just how much he craved it. 

“Why?” she wondered out loud, “You’ve had dates.” She pointed out as she moved her fingers down towards his, lacing them gently. She expected him to pull away, only to be surprised as he held onto her tighter. 

“Easy, quick sex,” he confirmed with a nod of his head, “Nothing fun.” He crinkled his nose up, taking her by surprise. She didn’t hear many guys say that. 

Their eyes locked so intensely that she wondered if he knew what she was thinking, or at least could read it by her expression. Her heart was beating roughly, shaking against her organs and bones. She wondered if he looked close enough that he could see the outline. She felt exposed, but noted that part of him was also laid open for her to discuss.

“You’re really beautiful, Kimberly Mayfield.” His tone was soft, barely louder than a whisper as his eyes drifted across her features. His expression was dreamy, eyes filled with a tender look as his free hand moved to her cheek again. 

“Rose.” She whispered back, slightly stunned by the amorous gaze that remained in his brown eyes. He looked far more fond than she was prepared for. 

“What?” He asked as a little chuckle left his lips, his head moving back and forth in confusion. She grinned as she moved her hand to his hip. She could feel the electricity brewing underneath her fingertips, driving her wild. 

“My full name is Kimberly Rose Mayfield.” She corrected as she tilted her head up towards him, lightly bumping her tiny nose against his strong one. She lingered there for a moment, breathing it all in. 

“Oh, my bad,” he apologized with a laugh, holding his hand over his chest, “Then you’re very beautiful, Kimberly Rose Mayfield.” He stated correctly this time, something sentimental hiding underneath his expression. 

“Thank you,” she laughed hysterically for a moment, her lungs burning and insides twisting, “I appreciate it.” She told him softly as she sat up closer, her lips parting as his eyes fell to her mouth again. 

He leaned forward slowly, his eyes hazy and slightly squinted as his sweet breath fanned over her face. She felt her heart stalling in her chest, unmoving as his mouth fell against hers. She felt her eyes fluttering shut, a warmth spreading from where their mouths met.

He kissed her softly, gently, like he was somehow nervous. Which didn’t make sense, because how could he be timid around someone like her? His large hand fell against her jawline, his thumb pressing against her cheek as he dragged his lips slowly across hers.

It took another second for her mind and her body to connect, to really feel the rush of his skin against her own as she moved closer. She kissed him just as hesitantly, something new and exciting. It was sensual, more subtle than what she was used to. 

She sat up on her elbows as her body flushed as he slid between her legs, his body soft and lanky as she dragged her lips harder against his. He fell against her, his body flush against hers as she laced her fingers through his hair. Soft groans filled the air, sparking excitement through her body as she felt herself growing wet against her panties. Hot. She was suddenly too hot.

Steve’s nose brushed against hers as he pulled away slowly, exhaling roughly as he fought to catch his breath. But she was already too far gone, desperate for the feeling of him on her once again. She was greedy, she wanted more. One taste wasn’t enough for her.

Her lips fell against the corner of his mouth, kissing softly as little pants fell from his swollen lips. She flicked her tongue out as she licked away the leftover saliva, unsure if it was hers or his. It didn’t really matter. He tasted sweet, like grapes and a hint of chocolate from the candy bar he had shared with her. 

She was on top of him this time, straddling his lap as her hands fell to his jaw. She ran her palms across his smooth skin as she continued to drag her tongue across the curve of his mouth. She licked away his moans, spurred by the feeling of her clit throbbing against her panties. 

He breathed in deeply, exhaling just as roughly as he placed his palm against hers. She stared for a moment, tilting her head as she compared the way his fingers were far longer than hers. There was something sensual in the way he held onto her, how he looked at her. She craved more of it. 

“Did you try them on?” He asked suddenly, licking his bottom lip as he squeezed their fingers together softly. She moved forward, fighting every urge in her to keep from grinding her hips down against him. 

“What?” She questioned after she thought about it for a minute, trying to decide what he was talking about. He laughed softly, looking like he was still out of breath. 

“The earrings.” He clarified as he continued to look at her lips, like he was resisting the urge to kiss her again. She wondered if she had pushed him too far based on how he had changed the topic. 

“Oh,” she paused as she brought her eyes back towards his, her chest rising and falling roughly, “No, not yet. Do you want me to?” She asked, more than willing to do whatever he wanted.

“You don’t have to.” He shook his head softly, but she was already standing. His fingers fell from her hands, slowly tracing the curve of her long legs instead. 

“Hold on,” she told him softly, giggling as she pulled her box free. She looked around the room before she decided otherwise, “I’ll be right back.” She told him as she held one finger up, racing out of the room before he could say otherwise. 

She searched for a moment before she found the bathroom; setting up the area for herself. She pushed her hair out of her face, confirming that her makeup looked alright before she slid her earrings in. Then she went to work.

It took a whole thirty seconds for her to convince herself that stripping down was worth the risk of Steve shooing her out of his room. He seemed interested in her thus far, she was sure that he would like this. At least she hoped that he would.

“Close your eyes,” she spoke up quickly as she stood outside the door, thinking about how mortified she’d be if his parents caught her, “Are they closed?” She asked, listening to the little hum in confirmation.

She slowly moved into the room, then shut the door behind her as she examined the way he was sitting on the edge of his bed. His large palms were over his shut eyes, his light smile exposed as she moved in front of him.

She decided that settling on her knees was best, but truly had no idea if that looked sexy or not. She just went with it, hoping for the best as she moved her hands onto her palms. She breathed in deeply, knowing she needed to speak before she made herself too nervous.

“You can open your eyes.” She told him gently, her nerves hidden away from the weed in her system as he removed his hands quickly. He still had a giddy expression on his features until he took her in, all of that sliding away as he inspected her.

His pink lips spread as an awestruck expression filled his face, his eyes falling towards her perky tits, and staying there for some time. She bit her bottom lip, trying not to fuss with her hair as his eyes continued to linger over her body. 

“What are you doing?” His voice came out like a squeak, higher pitched and whiny as she moved her fingers to loosen his belt. His eyes darkened, filling with lust as he continued to stare after her movements. 

“I want to make you feel good,” she hummed softly, “Is that alright with you?” She tilted her head as she watched him, confirming the way he nodded his head slowly before she began to tug on his jeans. She needed them off. Now. 

“Okay,” he breathed out, cheeks burning pink as he shifted his hips up so she could pull his pants down easily. She moved her fingers across his large bulge, excitement pooling in her stomach as she greedily eyed him, “You really don’t have to-,” 

His words cut off as she stuck her tongue out, dragging the flat part across his concealed hard on. He yelped at the sensation, his head dropping back as she continued to trace her tongue across his briefs. 

She moaned as she looped her fingers around the band of his briefs and tugged them down his hairy thighs to expose his hardened cock. She stared, jaw dropping as his dick sprang free. He was long, much bigger than what she was used to. He wasn’t quite as thick, but she wasn’t worried about that. Her fingers fit around his girth perfectly. 

It was odd to think that a dick was pretty, but his really was. He was slightly paler, his tip a soft pink and leaking against his skin. His balls were round, heavy and resting against a thick tuft of dark hair. She followed the thick base of his cock, observing as it slowly evened out, his dick curving towards the right. 

“S’pretty,” she mumbled out, biting down on her bottom lip as she pressed her fingers slowly around his girth. He whimpered at the feeling, his hips thrusting forward as a gleeful sound left her lips, “Stevie, you have a really nice cock.”

“Thanks,” he squeaked out, staring at her as she gave his cock a little stroke. She chewed on her inner cheek as she looked at the way his precum collected at his tip, leaking over onto her fingers, “S’nice.”

She stuck her tongue out against his pink tip, licking away his slick and savoring it in her mouth. She moaned at the taste, so bitter and musky. So him. She felt a little feral, needy as she slid her lips over his leaking tip. Lust boiled inside of her as she sucked softly, flicking her tongue out against his warm skin gently. 

“Oh,” he groaned as he dropped his head once again, his fingers gripping his blankets tightly as her lips stretched along his smooth skin. She kept her eyes focused on the way his shut, how he knitted his eyebrows together in bliss, “That’s-, that’s really nice.” He moaned, lips parting in bliss. 

It took everything in her to keep from closing her eyes and savoring the taste of his cock in her mouth. She was sure that she could sit there for hours, her mouth stuffed full as she drooled around him. It was heavenly.

And his eyes remained closed. She couldn’t have that. She needed him to look at her, to appreciate her. She pulled away. 

“Eyes on me,” she giggled softly as she squeezed his chin, forcing his eyes down towards her. He looked at her surprised, cheeks slightly flushed as he nodded his head, “And take your shirt off.” She demanded, surprised at her own bossy tone. Not quite commanding, but she did sound bratty. 

He nodded his head as he watched her, his movements quick as he struggled to get the sweater off of his head. She grinned as she watched, enjoying the way his soft muscles moved. He was more lanky, softer and covered in dark hair. But she liked it all the same.

The hair from his chest reached clear down to his dick, a nice trail that she let her fingertips follow. She watched as goosebumps formed on his mole covered skin, many places for her to explore later. 

She kissed up his abdomen, leaving a trail of saliva behind as she reached his belly button. She moaned, unable to help herself as she kissed along the cute little area. A smile leaving her lips before she stuck her tongue out against the soft hole, taking a soft lick of him. A little gasp left his lips as he moved his hips upward, his spit soaked dick brushing against her chin. She giggled at the sensation. 

“Do you want me to suck your cock?” She questioned him as she laced her fingers across his girth again, giving him a little squeeze. He groaned at the sensation, hips jerking at the way her free hand gripped his balls. 

“You have a dirty mouth,” he said as his chest rose and fell harshly, his cheeks pink from how out of breath he was, “Really dirty.” His lips looked swollen, like he had been biting on them too much. 

“Do you mean slutty?” She giggled as she traced her nails through the hair near his balls, “You can call me a slut. Or a whore. I don’t mind.” She told him honestly, wiggling a little closer to him. She liked being called all of those things. 

“I-,” he paused as he stared at her, his eyes wide as he continued to stare at her in admiration, “You’re something else.” He spoke in disbelief, fascination swirling underneath his dark eyes as she gave his long cock another slow stroke. 

She felt confident at the sounds that left his lips, how breathless and whiny he became as she pressed her lips up against his tip again. She gave him a little kiss, trying to fight the urge to smile before she slid his dick inside of her mouth. 

His eyes became hooded as he stared at her, his pretty lips parting as she began to slowly bob her mouth up and down the curve of his cock. She pressed her tongue out slowly, following the strong vein as she moved her hands down to his balls. She squeezed them softly, earning a louder groan from him. 

The sounds of pleasure that rolled off of his tongue were whiny, higher pitched and breathless as she rolled her tongue around his cock. She felt greedy as she slipped more and more of him into her mouth, craving the validation that he gave her as his eyes locked onto hers tenderly. 

“S’beautiful,” he groaned as he pushed her hair out of her face, gasping at the way she continued to lock eyes with him. She furrowed her eyebrows together as his cock hit the back of her throat, far quicker than what she was used to, “God. You feel so good.” 

She continued to squeeze at his balls, massaging them softly as she worked on taking his cock deeper in her mouth. She let some saliva fall from her lips, coating the part that she couldn’t stuff into her mouth quite yet. But she was determined. 

She gagged as she pushed more of his curved cock into her mouth, her lips stretching around his girth as drool slid over his heavy balls. He whined as he thrust his hips forward, whimpering as his eyes began to flutter shut. Bliss spread over his features as his moans became deeper, louder. 

She drooled around him, saliva falling from the corners of her lips as she buried more of his cock inside of her mouth. She could feel his tip dragging against the back of her throat, making her gag repeatedly as she continued to bob her head up and down the curve of his cock.

The sound of her lips around his cock was messy, filthy as drool continued to fall from her mouth. She could feel it on her boobs, on her knees as it continued to coat his balls. Her eyes watered as she successfully pressed his cock all the way into her mouth, her lungs burning and lips aching at the stretch of it all. She had never had something so deep inside of her throat, making it contract and throb at the same time. 

“Fuck, fuck,” he grunted as he tangled his fingers through her hair, his hips moving furiously to the motions of her mouth, “Sorry, m’sorry. Feels so good. Fuck, sorry. Can’t help it.” He spit out roughly, his tone whiny and desperate as he continued to fuck into her mouth.

She continued to gag around him, forcing her eyes to stay open as she watched the desperation that filled out on his features. His eyes were filled with lust, with awe and amazement as he roughly began to press his hips up against her motions. 

“Fuck!” he snapped his hips forward harshly, his fingers gripping her hair tightly as he buried his dick in her throat. She moaned at the look on his features, at the way his thighs shook as his cock twitched inside of her mouth, “Oh fuck, sorry. M’sorry, so sorry.” He apologized, his hot cum filled her mouth, making her eyes burn from how intense it was. 

She moaned as she pulled away, a mess of spit and cum leaking from her mouth and his cock as she breathed in fresh air. Her lungs screamed at the feeling, desperate for more as her chest rose and fell heavily. 

He stared at her in awe, his lips spread widely as he pressed his hands roughly through his hair. Little whimpers continued to leave his mouth as his cock fell against his skin, still coated in her spit.

She pulled herself up slowly, her legs shaking as she straddled his lap. It took only a little push to knock him onto his back, to earn another groan from him as his dick slid between his abdomen and her thigh. 

His lips were puffy and pink, pretty. She dragged her fingertips across them slowly, spreading them just enough to peek at his teeth. They were shiny and bright, nice. She didn’t think as she pressed her lips together, slowly spitting the mixture of cum and saliva into his mouth. 

He stared at her wide-eyed, a similar look on his features as a loud moan left his lips. He swallowed it harshly, his hands falling to her hips as he began to rock up against her. He hissed at the sensation, desperation laced on his features.

“I need you so badly.” He whined as he rutted up against her pathetically, his features knitted in pleasure. She giggled at the way pleasure spread through her body again. Her cunt was soaked, aching and desperate to feel him too. But she waited. She liked being in control for once.

“What do you need?” she teased as she pressed her fingers against his chin, “Use your words.” She whispered softly, enjoying the way he melted in her hands. He rutted his cock up against her again, whimpering. 

“Wanna taste your pussy,” he exhaled harshly, “Please. Let me taste you. I’ll make you feel good.” He promised as he dug his fingers into her fleshy hips. He nodded his head, trying to encourage her. She really wished she was strong enough to tease him a little longer, but she wanted him just as desperately.

A giggle fell from her lips as he rolled her over, her back resting comfortably against his soft sheets. She grinned as she sat up on her elbows, enjoying the greedy way his eyes drank in the image of her. She stuck her foot out playfully, poking his side gently with the tips of her toes.

Steve slid right in between her legs, nestling comfortably against her thighs as he dipped his face down towards hers again. A soft smile formed on his lips before he pecked her mouth; once and then twice. It made her pulse soar, butterflies rising in her tummy even though it was just a simple touch. He had such a way of making her heart throb. 

Her eyes felt even heavier as she watched his lips slowly trail down the length of her body, his lips soft and smooth as he ran his large hands across her sides. She breathed in deeply as goosebumps formed underneath his touch, her nipples hardening as he flicked his tongue out across the curve of her boobs.

She moaned at the feeling of his lips around her nipple, kissing and sucking softly before he switched to the next one. His groans vibrated across her skin, his breath hot against her skin before he pulled away again.

She felt like she was on fire as he spread her legs further apart, squeezing his shoulders between her thighs before he gripped her hips gently. He had a cocky look in his eyes, his expression full of want as he exhaled warmly across her slick cunt.

She moaned as she felt a heavy sensation settling over her, her mind feeling fuzzy as his lips fell right above her pussy. She inhaled sharply, lungs burning as her clit throbbed in anticipation.

“She’s so wet for me,” he groaned softly as he drifted his fingers lightly through her folds. She lurched forward, desperate to be touched, “Can I taste you?” He questioned as his eyes met hers, her pulse racing harshly against the crook of her neck.

“Yes,” she finally managed to breath out, her eyes locked on the way he rolled his tongue out against his bottom lip; “Please.” She added softer, unsure if she could relay just how needy she really was.

His dark eyes drifted away from hers, his eyelids hiding his lust as he took a deep inhale of her scent. She blushed then, stomach twisting at the groan that fell from his lips. It was deep and carnal, like he’d been waiting for this moment. 

She jolted at the feeling of his broad tongue across her cunt, slow and timid like he was savoring the taste of her. Everything inside of her burned, her thighs twitching at the sensation.

“Steve,” slipped from her lips easily, her mind growing foggy at the way he continued to slide his tongue through her folds, “Oh fuck.” She sighed in relief, body trembling underneath his greedy grip. 

His fingertips dug into her fleshy thighs, gripping her tighter as he buried his head closer to her as he pressed his tongue rougher against her clit. He was delicate, yet intense at the same time as he memorized the way her sensitive bud was shaped.

Deep moans left her lips as he slowly wrapped his lips around her clit, sucking roughly before he flickered his tongue out. She crooned as her fingers fell to his thick hair, tugging on his strands of hair as her hips left the mattress. He groaned from between her legs, his movements sloppy yet calculated. 

“Oh my God,” she whined deeply, her lungs tightening in pleasure while he pressed the tip of his tongue across her wet hole. Her walls trembled as he took broad licks of her cunt, grunting as his fingertips dug deeper into her hips, “Right there. Oh God.” She chanted, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as he greedily lapped at her cunt. 

Her feet dragged against the mattress as the pleasure burned deep inside of her veins, electricity brewing inside of her stomach as his sounds of pleasure vibrated through her body. She gaped as she gripped his hair tighter, rocking her body up against his mouth. 

Her toes curled in bliss as he curled his tongue deeper inside of her pussy, licking and prodding in rhythm to the way she was rocking her hips across his mouth. She gripped his hair harder, twisting the locks between her fingers as loud whines fell from his lips. 

His nose dug against her clit as he curled his tongue deeper inside of her cunt; licking at her sloppy walls. She was leaking around his tongue, against his lips as the muscles inside of her stomach tightened and shook. She whined loudly, her moans bouncing off of the walls as her orgasm suddenly crashed over her.

“Steve, Steve!” Whimpers rolled off of her tongue, her chest rising and falling harshly as her cunt clamped down around his tongue. Her clit ached as he dug his face in deeper, his nose pressing roughly against her sensitive bud as her body vibrated from her orgasm, “Oh fuck.” She crooned, hips rolling off of the bed and against his greedy mouth.

He continued to lap at her, moaning as he licked away her cum. His eyes were heavy and dark as he looked back up at her, a look of desperation on his features as remnants of her cum stained his face. It was filthy, but she liked it. A lot.

“So beautiful,” He groaned as he pressed a fingertip against her slick hole, lips parting at the same time a gasp left her tongue, “She’s so needy for me. Taking me so well.” He rambled as he slid his finger inside of her slowly, making her gape at the sensation.

His digits were long and slender, instantly pressing up against her bundle of nerves with one slight curl. Whimpers fell easily from her lips as he pumped his finger in and out of her sloppy hole, 

She tugged him forward by his hair, earning a loud groan from him before she flicked her tongue out against his swollen lips. She messily lapped at his lips, devouring the taste of herself. His breath was hot against her face as he pulled away, brown eyes wide with lust.

She chewed on her bottom lip as she kept their eyes linked, rolling her hips forward slowly as soft whines fell from her lips. His finger felt glorious inside of her, but she enjoyed the reaction she was gaining from him too much to focus on her own pleasure.

She wrapped her fingers around his wrist lazily, giving his hand a little squeeze before she slowly pulled him away from her. He watched with heavy eyes as she placed his finger in her mouth, moaning as she wrapped her lips around his long digit. She couldn’t help the way she moaned and drooled around him, the fire inside of her was burning too harshly. 

“Jesus Christ,” he moaned as she continued to swirl her tongue between his fingers, greedily licking away the taste of her on his flesh, “what are you doing to me?” He shook his head as he looked at her in disbelief, parting her lips just enough that he could get a good look at her teeth and gums. Then at her tongue. 

“I want you,” she whispered underneath her breath, her chest rising and falling harshly, “Please. I want to feel your cock inside of me.” She mumbled as he pulled his hand away, drool sliding onto her chin and neck. 

“Jesus.” He spit out harshly, shaking his head as lust took over his features again. He looked just as depraved as she felt, like he would bite her if she asked. She wanted that. She wanted everything that he had to offer. 

“I’ll be good,” she continued on, purring as she ran her nails through his chest hair, “Real good. I promise. Let me make you feel good again.” She pleaded with him, picturing him spread out underneath her as she bounced on his cock. She thought he’d like that a lot. 

“I want to make you feel good,” he offered up inside, pressing his large hands against her shoulders as he shoved her back. She pouted as her head hit the pillows, but didn’t whine for too long as he spread her legs, “God, you’re so beautiful.” He praised loud enough for her to hear, his words sincere as he wrapped his fingers around his cock. He moved away for a second, heading towards his bedside table. 

“I’m on the pill,” she spoke up quickly, determined to feel all of him, “It’s okay. I promise.” She nodded her head as she pressed her hands flat against his chest, grinning as she felt his heart beating underneath her touch. 

“You-,” he repeated the word slowly, a thoughtful look behind his eyes as a flush settled on his cheeks, “You don’t want me to wear a condom?” He asked her slowly, as lust and shock mixed on his pretty features. She giggled as she leaned forward, dragging her tongue across the curve of his ear.

“I wanna feel your cock inside of me,” she moaned softly as her hands fell to his back, her nails digging into his skin, “I want you to cum inside of me. Please.” She whimpered as she spoke, her teeth grazing against his earlobe before she bit down.

He groaned, body pulsing against hers as he slowly moved away once again. She was unable to fully read the lust in his eyes as he positioned himself between her legs once again, his hairy thighs pressing against the back of hers as he aligned his cock with her pink cunt. 

She pressed her knees up to her chest as he slowly slid his tip inside of her puffy walls, making her head spin in pleasure as she stretched along his long cock. She sighed at the way his dick curved inside of her, pressing into her easily. 

She flickered her eyelashes as she looked upon him, breathing in the look of pleasure on his expression as he continued to slowly press his hips into her tight pussy. His eyebrows furrowed, lips parting as pitiful moans rolled off of his tongue. He was loud and whiny, different from what she was used to. But she liked it all the same, his sounds of bliss made her stomach coil and twist in awe. 

“Fuck,” he whimpered underneath his breath, making her squeal at the way he bottomed out and then quickly snapped his hips forward once again. It slightly hurt, just a bit, but not enough where it wasn’t pleasurable. She had just never been filled this deeply before, so intensely, “You feel so good, baby. So fuckin’ good.” He praised wantonly, sounding more desperate than what she was used to.

Her knees were beginning to ache as he placed his weight on top of her, his hips snapping into her rougher as the curve of his cock pressed deep inside of her. She sighed as each inch slid into her, filling her so deeply that her lungs stretched and ached. Her clit throbbed as he came to a halt, whining as he bottomed out inside of her.

“Stevie,” she whined as she drifted her hands down his spine, fingertips brushing against the constellations on his skin, “So big. Feels nice.” She told him between gasps, a crooked smile forming on her lips as he continually pressed against her bundle of nerves. She wasn’t even sure if he was meaning to do so, but it left her clit aching and cunt twitching around him. 

Her nails dug into his skin as he began to rock his cock in and out of her sloppy walls, the sounds of their bodies meeting instantly filling the room. It was loud and filthy, dirty. But it blended nicely with their sounds of pleasure, which were whiny and ravenous. 

“Your pussy feels so good,” he praised as he knit his eyebrows harder together, his hips continually snapping against hers as he buried his cock as far as he could reach. Her eyes kept rolling into the back of her head, the electrifying pleasure of his cock strumming against her g-spot left her limp, “Taking my cock so well. Fuck, fuck. You look so beautiful, Kim. So fucking pretty.” He spit out between whines, complimenting her as his lips fell against her cheek.

She rolled her hips up to meet his motions, whining at the way the tip of his cock continually pressed against her deepest crevices. She was crying out this time, her nails scratching at his skin as she tilted her head in his direction. She met his lips sloppily, swapping spit and sounds of bliss as her cunt hugged his cock snugly. 

She could feel his balls pressing against her skin, soaked with her slick as he roughly pressed himself into her each time. His thrusts were labored and intense, short and rough before he was burying himself inside of her again. Her lips were dragging against his, not fully kissing him as the pleasure took hold of her. Everything on her was burning, fiery and rough as she clawed at him desperately.

“Steve,” she pleaded from the corner of his mouth, whining as she dug her nails into him harder. She was sure she was cutting skin this time, scratching at him for more than just his skin, “Wanna feel you cum inside of me. Please, please. Fill me up, baby.” She crooned as she cupped his face, watching the way his expression broke. 

Something carnal seemed to snap inside of him as his movements became rougher, deeper in some mystical way. Her moans became pleas, loud cries as he dragged her along the curve of his cock. He was desperate, small rambles leaving swollen lips as he crooned loudly. Whining just as loud as she rolled her hips up against his movements.

His head fell to the crook of her shoulder, sweaty and hot as a lewd sound left his lips. Deep and distressed as he buried himself deep inside of her, his balls snug against her skin as his cock trembled against her wet walls.

“Fuck,” he cursed as he drew out his words, spit falling from his lips and onto her skin as he dug his nails into her flesh. His cock throbbed inside of her as thick ropes of cum painted her walls, filling her deeply and leaking out of her slick hole, “Oh Jesus, Kim.” He whined as he reached down, rubbing at her clit as he continued to softly thrust his hips forward.

He was still whining as she roughly began to grind her hips up against him, desperately clinging to him as her muscles tightened inside of her stomach again. She held onto him tightly, crying out as the pleasure pulsed inside of her. She cried out, toes curling as it all crashed over her.

Her cunt squeezed around his girth as she came to a halt, hips pressed up against his wildly as she leaked around the curve of his cock. She came so harshly her eyes rolled into the back of her head once again, curses flying off of her tongue as she melted deeper into the mattress. 

She breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent of him as her grip on him slowly released. He was still moaning as he held onto him, fucking his hips into her like he was trying to get all of his pleasure released. It made her giggle, made her felt special. 

“Can I be honest with you?” He asked suddenly, still out of breath as he turned his gaze up towards her. She breathed in the image of his blissed expression, his eyes filled with awe. 

“Sure.” She told him softly, taking in a deep breath as her chest pressed up against his. His lips curled into a little smile, his eyes still squinty as he brushed his fingers through her hair. 

“I’ve never read Lord of the Rings.” He admitted, like it was some big secret. It set her off suddenly, making her laugh as she thought about it. It was funny. This was funny, but it was nice. She wanted more of it. 

“I know,” she said with a little giggle, “It doesn’t look like it’s ever been open.” She admitted as she ran her fingers across his skin, smiling as she brushed their noses together. His was strong and long, different than hers. 

“I hate reading.” He groaned softly as he shook his head, his hair falling onto her forehead. She hummed as she registered his words, sure that she could change his mind. With time. 

“We could read it together,” she suggested, watching the way his eyes twinkled, “If you want to.” She offered, suddenly feeling a little shy. She didn’t want him to think that she was lame or anything. She wanted him to be interested in her. 

“I’d love that.” He told her gently, fingertips soft against her skin as he leaned back to admire her. She took it as a promise, hoping that he meant it in that way. 

[chaoticbardlady99]

Could I request a fluff fic for Astarion falling for a tav reader who's a bard and an amazing singer? Maybe he can't sleep, so he goes for a walk and finds reader singing to themselves, and he sits and listens, slowly realizing how hard he's fallen for them?

Thank you so much for putting this in my inbox! I hope you enjoy!

Astarion x GN! Bard Reader

I used the songs Nobody Knows Me At All by the Weepies and Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls because I am a cliche.

  The moon glows brilliantly throughout the night sky and the stars don’t seem to realize how lucky they are that they don’t have to deal with feelings and masters and all the other terrible side effects of being a person. 

 In spite of his name sake, Astarion does not have the luxury of being blissfully unaware of the horrors life has to offer. It didn't bother him so much- he took each terrible thing as it came and rolled with the punches. Whatever it takes to keep him alive until the next day- it’s essentially his life motto. 

  Another thing stars aren’t burdened with- the need for rest. 

 Traversing into the Shadow Cursed Lands is the last thing Astarion wants to be doing and while he was already worried for himself, he found he has an entirely other worry weighing heavily on him. 

 Where in the hells are they? He thinks, its been an hour and a half now since they wandered off! 

 He is trying to not be so clingy and weird- you don’t seem to mind his company and his overbearing ness, but the others had been teasing him and he was rather sore about it. 

 They called him a lovesick bat amongst other things and he is not lovesick. You are a means to an end, nothing more and nothing less. Granted, no one else needs to know that.

 Sleep continues to elude him as he waits impatiently to hear your footsteps walking back into camp or your scent to come rolling over him from the breeze.

  It’s probably only been 30-45 minutes- realistically- but Astarion has found himself becoming very preoccupied and aware of your safety. 

 You are a squishy mortal- your heart needs to beat and you need to breathe or he will lose you and he can’t fathom the idea of not having you by his side.

 His idle feet drag him to the forest, no longer able to sit and wait for you to make a reappearance.

 I just need to make sure they are safe, he thinks, because otherwise I am not sure they would keep me in the group- yeah! That’s why I’m doing this. Nothing out of the ordinary. 

 While most feel terrified of the darkness of the wilderness at night, he feels comforted and engulfed in it. He loves the sun, but unfortunately, at the end of the day, he is still a creature of the night and that is where he technically belongs.

 He supposes that’s another worry he’s had lately- an intrusive thought really- but what happens when this journey ends? You and the others assured him that they will free him from Cazador forever- Astarion even became a bit emotional when Gale said, “and he won’t find you alone!” when Astarion brought up the dangers of keeping him in the group. 

 You have rallied around him this whole time and stuck your neck out for him more often than not. The two of you have indulged in each other and been enjoying each other’s company, but right now he’s here and you may just not be attracted to the others.

 What happens when everyone gets back to Baldur’s Gate? He’s seen you in pubs before and playing so the bar goers can stay on tune with the singer. You have your own little following of people who crave your attention and while you have told him it all makes you uncomfortable- those people would be a far more appropriate life match for you than a Vampire. 

 Astarion’s ears droop on their own at the thought. He thought he got out of the childish elven habit of slouching his ears long ago when Cazador beat it out of him- you seemed to have brushed off some of the vines. It’s like old parts of a factory are slowly being restored and as it is, he finds pieces of himself he subconsciously knew were there, but are new to him again. 

 For example- he loves a good practical joke just for good fun. He bought a cushion of sorts from Mol and put it where Lae’zel sits- covered with a blanket. She sat down on the log for her watch as quite literally everyone was sitting down to eat dinner. He fell off his seat he was laughing so hard- it was worth being chased up and down a few trees. 

 He also enjoys dancing for fun- you dragged him around the fire during the night of the Tiefling party and taught him more informal dancing and less of the stuffy shit Cazador forces him to partake in. You growled at anyone who tried to cut in- it was rather funny.

 You are also quite the fan of the occasional shenanigan and he finds himself smiling at the memory of your baby hairs stuck to your sweat slicked skin as he kept watch for guards while you graffitied Vlaakith’s painting or when you waved at her instead of bowing.

 Life is fun with you- he forgot why people enjoy being alive so much outside of not feeling ravenous all the time. He feels alive with you and the idea of you and him never seeing each other again for your entire life scares him. He doesn’t want to stumble upon an obituary some time in the future and ‘remember’ the person who saved him.

 He wants to be at your side and it terrifies him, but it would be worse to be away from you.

 Feelings- it’s disgusting and he does not like it. 

 Your scent becomes stronger on a more beaten path and he feels his alarm bells going off- jolting in the direction he believes you are and praying that every God actually hears him as he silently begs for you to be safe. 

  Your melodic voice and the sound of the babbling brook melts the worry in his body. Astarion’s pace slows slightly and he feels that annoying warm glow spread through his body. 

  You are sitting near the bank with your laundry in hand- Scratch and the Owlbear cub are laying down together nearby, one of the pup’s ears upright to hear any intruders. 

 It brings him some comfort that you have Scratch and the little cub- he isn’t sure he would fuck with an Owlbear Cub or approach a Bard with a bewitching voice calling out into the night like a Harpy’s song.

 “When I was a child

 Everybody smiled

No-body knows me at allllll

 Very late at night and in the morning light

  Nobody knows me at all

 I got lots of friends, yes, but then again- nobody knows me at all-“

 You stop suddenly and stare up at the moon and Astarion is completely enraptured with you and your singing. He feels charmed and he is entirely okay with it. 

“I suppose that’s not necessarily true,” you say softly, picking at the grass and smiling to yourself. 

 Oh your smile- he feels himself slowly melt into the grass like a smitten school boy and his own grin dances across his lips. 

 They are talking about you, the thoughts sends shocks of happiness and twinges of guilt, your plan worked.

 He should be thrilled, but he could honestly give a shit less. He is too busy listening.

 “And I’d give up forever to touch you

 Cause I know that you feel me somehow

 You’re the closest to heaven, that I’ll ever be

And I don’t wanna go home right now.”

 If his heart beat it would be pounding in his chest right now. 

 Your face is so relaxed, but he adores the furrow of your brow as you concentrate on hitting all the right chords and remembering the lyrics.  The song is beautiful but he is certain it’s only because you are the one singing it. Anyone else singing a love song would make him feel nauseated. 

 Astarion feels centuries of heaviness roll off his body with every note and sweet omission of trust. 

 He is hypnotized by your lovely fingers plucking the chords and he feels the ghost of your hand in his- you had taken it in your hand while everyone walked through the forest. Your hand had felt perfect in his own and he felt like a young, giddy, new person again. You always make him feel like that though lately. 

 “And I don’t want the world to see me

 Cause I don’t think that they’d understand

When everything’s meant to be broken

 I just want you to know who I am.”

  Astarion had lost all hope- truly lost it all- before the Mindflayers had kidnapped him. He felt more hopeful once he landed on the beach, but that hope was also laced with overwhelming fear. 

 Lately, he has been more present in his day to day. He is happy and full most days. He wakes up near you or to the sound of your laugh instead of the screams of his siblings or angry commands from Cazador or being yanked out of bed by either Cazador or Godey to be dragged off to the Kennels or Gods only knows where. 

 Astarion has actually been trancing for four hours straight without interruption these days and he even fell asleep a couple of times- his body finally feeling safe enough to completely shut down for a while. He woke up feeling stronger than ever and your heartbeat echoing through his ribs. 

 You had been more than happy to let him share your tent at night after he had barged into your tent after a particularly bad trance. It had been shortly after killing Nere in the Underdark and before entering the Crèche. He has basically been sleeping there every night since and he gets to enjoy your company- and all to himself!

 You with your wild morning hair and sleep ridden breath- it’s a gift he has never been given before. Astarion is grateful for every morning he has gotten to wake up next to you and you are alive- so vulnerable and warm with sleep. 

 He adores the way you tiredly blink at him as you become more aware of the world. You have begun to leave a sleepy kiss on his lips in the morning and he finds himself looking forward to it; and the mornings you forget, he steals a lazy morning kiss from you. It’s like Gale and his coffee, he can’t start his day anymore without that first kiss in the mornings. 

 You continue to sing- your voice strong and full of passion. Happy tears make your eyes glimmer and sparkle under the moonlight and for once, he doesn’t hate being a creature of the night because you make nighttime seem ethereal and lovely; enchanting and whimsical; a luxury to witness. Astarion is positive you could make even the most dingy corners of the world look beautiful from blessing it with your presence alone. 

 You finish your song and he decides he cannot take being away from you for another moment longer so he backtracks just a bit.

“Darling?” He calls out with a fake worried voice, “are you okay?”

“I’m over here!”

 With a big, stupid grin on his face, he half skips half walks over to your spot under the tree.

 You are delightfully rosy with blush and your eyes light up upon seeing him- Astarion doesn’t think that will ever get old. You are the first person to ever genuinely be happy to see him and he laps it up like Scratch drinks water after he has a fit of zoomies. 

“I am so grateful it’s you singing- I began to feel charmed and feared the worst!”

 You roll your eyes at his comment, but smile widely anyway and put your luteto the side, taking his outstretched hand. 

“I am so glad you find my singing appealing,” you say breathlessly, “I will have to work harder to truly charm you next time.” 

“Oh- you may consider me thoroughly charmed, my Sweet,” he presses a kiss to your forehead and you giggle, “anymore and I might become your Thraul.”

“That wouldn’t be good at all!” You exclaim, “you would agree with me on everything and it would be terrible!”

 Astarion throws his head back with laughter- it’s not even all that funny, but the way you embrace his personality and find it enjoyable fills him with so much joy. 

 You pull him out under the moonlight and he cocks an eyebrow at you- you respond with a cheeky grin.

 “Magistrate Ancunín,” you say sweetly with a bow, “I thought I might have seen you across the dance floor this evening.”

 Astarion smiles, “Ah! Your highness- how lovely it is to see you, my Dear. I was so hoping you may be here tonight- everyone else is so dreadfully dull, as you already know.”

“Believe me,” you roll your eyes and wave your hand, “none of them find my jokes or my stories entertaining.”

“Perish the thought!” He puts a hand to his chest in faux surprise, “They should all be sentenced to death!”

 Your eyes widen for a moment before you snort and join in.

“I so agree,” you snap your fingers, “there- it’s all been magically taken care of. I am the most powerful Highness known to the realms, after all.”

“Oh your majesty,” he pretends to be on the verge of feinting, “no one has ever done something so wonderfully romantic like this for me before- however can I repay you?”

“You could repay me by giving me this dance?”

 He hears your heartbeat race slightly and you look a bit nervous. It’s such a bizarre thing for you to feel. Of course he will dance with you. It would be criminal not to.

 Taking your hand- he pulls you to him and wraps your arms around his neck. His fingers greedily cling to your hips as you sway together back and forth. 

 You hum as the two of you have your foreheads pressed together and your eyes closed- the only individuals privy to the moment being the moon and the sleeping animals. 

 Astarion appreciates how your voice always reflects your feelings- the happiness in your tune is pleasant to his sensitive ears. 

 Eventually it’s the sound of the river that you both sway to and he barely catches your sentence.

“I am surprised you came looking for me,” you say with a yawn, “I thought you would be asleep by now.”

 He shakes his head, “I couldn’t.”

“Bad trance?”

“Something like that,” he quickly tries to change the subject, “why are you still awake?”

“I wasn’t able to sleep and decided I wanted to enjoy the moon and the ability to sing so freely,” you sigh, “Gods only knows when we’ll see it again.”

 Astarion hums in agreement- taking your callused hands in his and tracing the line of your hands. This seems to help you relax and it does bring him quite a bit of happiness to be able to help you relax as much as you help him. 

“I- I am really scared,” you look up at him with tears in your eyes, “I’m scared to go into the Shadow Cursed Lands. I have heard the stories and the lands are haunted by the cursed dead- people who had lives- who had stories.

“I am scared I could end up joining them,” your lower lip quivers so adorably, but he doesn’t like the words you are saying at all, “if I make one wrong move or we all get separated-“

“Stop,” he says, his voice thick and his chest heavy with an emotion he can’t identify, “I won’t allow that to happen. I can assure you that you will be rather irritated with me by the time we kill Ketheric- I don’t think I will be able to allow you to be out of arm’s reach.”

 He says it, but the actual reality of the comment doesn’t hit him until a couple seconds later. 

 Fuck.

 You smile brilliantly at him, “I hope you are ready for the same treatment.”

“I would be offended if you didn’t!”

“Well, we certainly can’t have that!”

 You lean forward and leave a kiss on his lips that takes his breath away- he follows you as you pull away, not ready to be without your lips on his. Astarion smiles against your mouth when your breath hitches- he loves that sound.

 And he is terrified to lose you.  

 Astarion fucked up his own plan- well okay, not really, but he did kind of. You have fallen for him, that much is obvious, but he was never supposed to fall for you! 

  The swaying continues- even as your body becomes heavier and heavier with sleepiness, Astarion feels like he’s dreaming and also simultaneously having a nightmare.

 He needs to rid himself of these feelings before they become all consuming- before he goes and does something stupid. 

 Maybe I give myself some space- sleep in my tent tonight? His chest tightens and he cannot breathe,  no, that won’t work. I- I don’t want to do that. I could push them away- get them to break things off with me.

 That thought makes him feel even more ill. Being near you brings happiness, comfort, and warmth- even when he is feeling extremely confused and uncomfortable with his feelings towards you. 

 You see the pieces of him he doesn’t often let others see and instead of despising him, you smile at his jokes. You laugh the loudest out of everyone- even at the jokes that maybe don’t deserve it. You are patient when he is grumpy, unreasonable, and rude. 

 You have become important to him- more important than he ever intended for you to be.

“Let’s go back to camp,” you say with a large yawn, “I need a little bit of sleep- we have a hell of a journey ahead.”

 Astarion helps you pick up your things and he carries your bag for you. You hold his other hand and you both chat as if you have spent years together rather than mere weeks- both of you grinning from ear to ear.

 You eventually wind up in each other’s embrace in your tent and you are snoring softly. Always making music as he likes to say. 

 The nighttime eventually pulls him back into his own trance, but this time, his trance is filled with happy memories of your adventures together with every melody you have ever sung prancing through his head.

[sergeantgoggles]

Lemon Yellow - poly batch <3

Whew. Anon, you really know how to pick 'em.

3800+ words later....

Tags/TW: Polybatch, Emotionally Intelligent Wrecker, Poly Negotiations, Pre-Order 66, Body Dysmorphia, Slightly Graphic Depictions of Cybernetics and Skin, Depression, Trauma, Nightmares, Echo Crying, Mentions of Former Poly Torrent Company (Rex/Fives/Echo/Jesse/Kix/Hardcase/Tup/Dogma), Grief/Loss, Neurodivergent Tech, Implied Neurodivergent Hunter, Happy Ending on Pabu, 10 Years later, Gay Old Men, Canon Compliant Hand Loss for Crosshair, Tech was CX-2, Batcher and Teenage Omega

Lemon Yellow: How does the first kiss go? (+2 Bonus kisses)

“I saw you and Hunter the other night,” Echo mentioned casually as he handed Tech a spanner wrench. He watched as Tech give him a quick, unconcerned look and went about his business.

“We are in an established relationship,” he replied matter-of-factly, as though it should have been common knowledge that Echo could have simply looked up on the comm chatter.

Echo was new to Clone Force 99. It wasn’t his place to judge them for anything, and it wasn’t like he hadn’t also been in a relationship with another clone or experimented with one before. Still, he chose his next words carefully, afraid that he might know too much now.

“…I also saw him with Crosshair this morning.”

That did give Tech pause, and he sighed with a bit of exasperation. “Look, Echo, I do not know how to tell you this gently, so I will simply be upfront with you. The truth is that the four of us, Hunter, Crosshair, Wrecker, and myself, are in a polyamorous relationship.”

Echo let the words sink in. He knew what they meant, and he knew sort of how it worked. Torrent Company worked similarly. There were obvious pairs, like himself and Fives, and Jesse and Kix, but they were sort of just, all together, the eight of them. So, the four members of the Bad Batch being in such a relationship wasn’t something that Echo was necessarily new to, but…

“You seem perplexed by this,” Tech teased lightly as he set the spanner wrench aside for now. “Perhaps if I explain—”

“No, no, that’s not it. I know what it is,” Echo defended. “I guess I just didn’t think that that sort of relationship was a clone thing.”

“As opposed to what?” Tech inquired with interest.

If nothing else, Tech was at least treating it delicately, if not forwardly. Echo appreciated that he didn’t try to sugarcoat it for him. He knew it was a little…weird…to explain to some people. Even some people in the GAR had a hard time wrapping their heads around it, so it was always more simple to tell people he was with Fives, instead of having six other boyfriends.

“My old squad…”

“The five hundred and first?”

“Yeah, Torrent Company specifically, we were…you know.”

Tech seemed to brighten at that, but why, Echo could only speculate. Maybe he was just happy that he didn’t have to keep sneaking around anymore, but to be honest, it sort of made Echo feel left out. For now, he swept the idea under the rug.

“I see. Do you miss that sort of dynamic?”

Echo pretended to think about it, but the reality was yeah, he really did. He hardly gave his remaining squad a chance to make him feel welcomed back, afraid of what they would think of him, maybe. Even he didn’t know some days, but he knew that this was where he needed to be, at least for now.

“Yeah, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss flopping onto a rack after hitting the showers and there would just be someone there to keep me company,” Echo sighed.

Tech had a curious look in his eyes as he adjusted his goggles. It was obvious that he was thinking hard about something from the way he nibbled on the pout of his bottom lip, and Echo couldn’t help the intrusive thought.

‘He’s so cute.’

With barely even a second to process the thought, Echo’s eyes flew open wide as Tech’s lips connected with his. Immediately, his cheeks darkened, but he settled quickly into the kiss. Tech’s lips were softer than he’d imagined they would be, not that he made a habit of imagining his lips, but sometimes…

Echo hadn’t expected it to go much further, but Tech’s fingers brushed his cheek, fleeting and soft, gloved hand coated in a sheen of grease from the Marauder catching on the stubble that had grown in. He sighed, giving in to feeling someone else’s lips for the first time since—

Fives. The first time since Fives.

Abruptly, Echo leaned away, eyes conflicted as he turned his gaze away from Tech’s imploring look.

“I…am sorry for assuming that you would—”

Echo quickly shook his head. “It’s not that. I liked it, a lot.”

It was as though Echo could feel the heat and hurt radiating from Tech’s stare, and he forced himself to look at him, even though all he really wanted in that moment was to forget the pain of Fives being gone and for Tech to kiss him again. “I’m sorry, Tech. I just…haven’t kissed anyone in a long time. It took me by surprise.”

Tech pondered his words, then, “did I misunderstand?”

This was getting complicated. “No, actually, I want to kiss you again, but I don’t know where the others stand, and I don’t want to come between anyone. That’s not how a polycule works.”

“Ah, I see,” Tech seemed to ease up a little after that and sat back to work on the ship again. “If that is your concern, then I will talk to the others. You are right, it should be discussed.”

Echo smiled and touched the greasy streak on his cheek fondly before he stood. Giddiness coursed through him, but he was also nervous about what was to come. All he could do was hope for the best. In the meantime, he needed to sort out his feelings about Fives, as well as those that remained in his previous situationship. There were a lot of factors to consider, but maybe this wasn’t so bad.

Besides, kissing Tech again would definitely be on the top of his list to do again as soon as possible.

.

“WHAT?”

“Stop that,” Tech scoffed and rolled his eyes. “This hardly warrants that kind of reaction.”

“You should have come to us first,” Hunter sighed, but he was far less condescending than Wrecker’s outburst had been.

“As if you’re actually bothered by it,��� Crosshair quipped as he cleaned the barrel of his rifle. “You’ve been looking Echo up and down since he first stepped onto the Marauder.”

Tech looked between them with a smirk as Hunter’s cheeks lit up.

“WHAT?” Wrecker boomed again.

“Enough,” Crosshair drawled in his direction. “We’ve all thought about it. You’re just mad that Tech made the first move.”

“You’re not mad about it?” Hunter asked and kicked his legs up on Crosshair’s lap. There was a sneer on Crosshair’s lips that said he wanted to knock them off, but he didn’t, instead continuing to detail his weapon.

“No,” he answered, and his eyes flicked to Tech’s, “but I want to know what Echo tastes like.” The suggestive tone didn’t go unnoticed, and Tech appropriately blushed as Crosshair licked his lips. “Why kiss me when you could just go kiss him yourself?”

Setting his rifle aside, Crosshair hummed. “You’re right.”

He stood, now knocking Hunter’s feet off his lap with a smack, and he leaned over the pilot’s seat to steal a less heated kiss from Tech’s lips. “Good thinking, Ace.”

“Hey, that’s my nickname for him,” Hunter pouted.

Tech’s flush darkened further as he was fought over, but the argument died when Crosshair kissed Hunter on his way out of the cockpit.

.

“Heard you had a run in with Tech.”

Echo looked up from where he was swinging from the sling strung up by the gunner’s mount, setting his datapad aside. “If you mean he kissed me, yeah. Didn’t get him in trouble, did it?”

Crosshair chuckled and crossed his arms. “Not especially, but it took us by surprise.”

“Why’s that?” Echo inquired, eyes curious as he took in Crosshair’s relaxed posture.

“Well, Tech usually isn’t the type to make the first move, even with us,” he explained, and Echo could feel the heat starting to rise in his cheeks. “You must really wind him up.”

As Crosshair leaned into his space, Echo found himself shifting to meet him. “Only him? Or can I get a rise out of you, too?”

There was barely a beat between them before Crosshair ghosted his lips over Echo’s, and they were gone as fast as they came. Echo chased them, but Crosshair was quicker. “You sure you’re okay with this?” Crosshair asked, eyes darting over Echo’s parted lips.

Echo faltered and leaned back into his sling. Was he okay with this? He had told Tech that he needed space to think, but was that only an excuse to make him talk to the others? Sighing, Echo shook his head. It wasn’t fair to leave Crosshair hanging.

“Hn, so you do have some baggage,” the sniper stood, giving Echo some breathing room.

“I haven’t kissed anyone since my last squad,” Echo defended with a scowl.

Crosshair quirked an eyebrow. “You kissed Tech.”

“And I told him the same thing,” Echo shot back, “and he kissed me, for the record.”

This was getting nowhere fast, and Crosshair seemed to see the same thing. Quietly, he stepped back and crossed his arms again, effectively shielding himself from whatever feelings he was keeping locked away. Inwardly, Echo winced. He hadn’t meant to come off like he was rejecting him, or any of them, for that matter.

“Crosshair, I—”

“It’s fine,” he clipped coolly, “but don’t make a habit of kissing my partners if you can’t get yourself sorted.”

Echo bristled, but averted his eyes, staring a hole into the side of the ship. Maybe he hoped it would swallow him up and he wouldn’t have to confront his feelings yet. That sounded nice. He heard Crosshair’s footfalls and listened as they grew distance, disappearing once again into the cockpit, seemingly to tell the others about being turned down.

Frustrated, Echo slipped his legs up into his sling and turned onto his side, facing away from where the others were gathered. Maybe this had been a mistake after all. He should call Rex and rendezvous with him. At least Rex still wanted him, and Jesse and Kix were still there to keep him from running away with his thoughts.

Hardcase had sacrificed himself.

Dogma was arrested.

Tup had suffered and died from what was being reported as a ‘mental relapse.’

…Fives was shot and killed for knowing too much.

How was he supposed to just pretend like each and every loss didn’t feel like a gaping hole being scraped out of his chest?

.

“Echo…? Echo?”

A large hand shook his shoulder, startling him awake. The jolt as he sat up nearly tipped the sling, but a body beside him kept it from dumping him onto the durasteel floor.

“Wrecker?” Echo questioned, his own voice unrecognizable to him. He lifted his flesh hand to his cheek and frowned when he felt the dampness of hot tears on his fingers. Damn it. “Sorry,” he continued, shame coloring his features. It wasn’t uncommon for soldiers to cry in their sleep, though the nightmares were more common with shinies. He was usually better at hiding it, though. “I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”

Wrecker fidgeted but made no move to go back to his rack. Worry was etched into his scarred face, and Echo didn’t have the temperament to be gentle about it.

“I said don’t—”

“Yeah, I heard you,” Wrecker murmured, “but I don’t believe you.”

Echo huffed and curled his cybernetic knees up to his chest. It was weird to try and hug them close. Metal dug into his skin, and it was uncomfortable to try and lay his forehead on top of the joints. More tears pooled in his eyes. Damn the Techno Union for saving him. He should have been left to die, march on like the rest of the Dominoes, like most of his partners…

Not be held together by fused skin and whirring parts like the monster that he is.

The sob that left him was quiet, but he might as well have been screaming the way Wrecker wrapped his arms around him and softly quieted his wails. It was weird, the way he could feel the ports in his head sinking into Wrecker’s chest, how tenderly Wrecker’s thumb grazed the skin where his scomp was connected to. Weird, but Wrecker held him like it was the most normal thing in the galaxy.

“…You don’t have to,” Echo sniffed. “I know what I am.”

Wrecker frowned. “I don’t. What do you think you are?”

Echo could have actually screamed. “I’m a freak, Wrecker. I’m more droid than human. I shouldn’t even be alive.”

His words must have struck something deep, because Wrecker sat back enough to grip Echo’s chin and gently force their gazes to meet. There was a softness in his eyes that wasn’t pity, though there was a bit of that despite how much he’d tried to keep it at bay, but understanding and compassion. Their noses brushed, and Echo let him press their lips together, firm, but chaste, with no hidden motives, the kind of kiss that was reassuring and grounding. It was the kind of kiss that reminded Echo of Hardcase after a mission with heavy casualties, kissing all of them and remining them that they’re all okay, they all made it. It was the kind of kiss that Echo gave Tup when he got into it with Dogma, promising him that they would make up and things would be okay.

It was the kind of kiss that Fives gave him their first night in the five hundred and first barracks, after they were extracted from Rishi, when they didn’t have any answers, but they had one another, and that was enough.

“We all have scars,” Wrecker whispered against his lips. “Some are small and hidden, and sometimes they’re big and obvious, but it’s how you wear them that makes the difference. For what it’s worth, I think yours are beautiful.”

Echo gasped, lip trembling slightly. It was the only time someone looked at him and thought that what was left of him was beautiful. No, not what was left, what he was. Wrecker thought he was beautiful as he was, even with the inconvenience of being mostly machine. It felt…well, it felt really nice to be thought of that way, even if he didn’t see it. So, he said the only thing he could in response and kissed him again.

“Thank you.’

.

Stars hung in the black sky and the moons of Pantora were high in the sky when Echo heard someone emerge from the racks. Normally, he wouldn’t pay any mind to it. It was likely Tech pattering around because he couldn’t turn his brain off. So, he continued to stare out the window from the co-pilot’s seat. That seemed to be where he fit in the best, and he and Tech worked well together.

He wasn’t expecting the glide of a bare hand on the back of his neck, massaging gently. Turning his head, surprise caught his features. “Hunter?”

“I wanted to apologize about earlier,” the sergeant said and took up Tech’s seat. “We should have been open about the nature of our relationship, and Crosshair had no right to kick you out because he wanted some action.”

Echo sighed. He’d almost successfully forgotten why he hadn’t been asleep in his sling between Tech and Wrecker’s racks. Crosshair had exiled him to the cockpit if he didn’t want to join in…activities. To Echo’s credit, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to participate, but having group sex was a hell of a first time with a new body, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for all that yet. Instead of torturing himself by staying to watch, he’d voluntarily left. Had he really been gone that long?

Judging by the way Hunter’s hair was mussed and the vaguely dark marks on his neck, he was certain that if nothing else, Hunter had gotten to partake in some activities.

“It’s fine,” Echo told a half truth. It was, to an extent, but he wished he had been brave enough to join them.

Hunter nodded, wringing his hands together. A nervous thing, Echo noticed. He was like Tech in a way, needing something to occupy his hands most of the time. It wasn’t as severe as Tech’s compulsions, but it was enough to draw Echo’s attention. Carefully, Echo reached over and took on of Hunter’s hands in his own. Immediately, Hunter latched onto it, tracing the lines of his fingers, pressing lightly on his palm, no doubt feeling his heartbeat through his veins. It seemed to calm him, though, and Echo smiled.

“I…understand why you didn’t want to join,” Hunter started, “but you should know that your cybernetic parts don’t bother us, and that despite our own feelings, we respect that you still have feelings for your old squad.”

Echo’s eyes softened. They really had been talking about him, but it wasn’t in the way that he’d thought they were. Not that he thought they were those kinds of people, but he had been so down on himself…it was easier to put the blame on someone else than face himself.

“Most of my old squad is gone,” Echo said aloud, maybe for the first time since he’d boarded the Marauder, “and the ones that remain…well, two of them were already together when we formed the polycule.”

“So, you were left out,” Hunter finished.

“Not really,” Echo shook his head. “They wanted to try…but I’m not the same as I was then, and I didn’t give them the chance to know me as I am now.”

Hunter hummed, still lazily outlining Echo’s fingers as though he were committing the way they felt to memory. “What about us? Think we might have a shot?”

A beat of silence fell between them as Echo considered the question. Was that what he wanted, to be part of another polycule? He certainly hadn’t wanted to assume that they wanted him in that capacity, but the last few days have proved that, if anything, they were willing to try. All of the pieces were there, most of them already put together, all that was missing was the final piece.

Hunter lifted Echo’s hands to his lips and kissed it, careful and deliberate. “You don’t have to give us an answer right now, but the offer is on the table. All you have to do is take it.”

He stood, letting Echo retract his hand, and winked before returning to the rest of his squad, of his polycule, the polycule they all wanted Echo to be a part of. Echo watched his retreating back for a few seconds before he stood abruptly.

“Hunter?”

Yes, he wanted to be a part of this, of them. He wanted someone to love, and for someone to love him, and he was going to find it here, with the Bad Batch.

Hunter turned just as Echo closed the gap between them, kissing him with so much need and longing that it took Hunter’s breath away, and he backed himself up against the console to steady the both of them. Hot, open-mouthed kisses left Echo gasping, and his hand shook as he tangled his fingers into Hunter’s hair, pulling him closer, flush to the line of his body.

It was only the soft clearing of someone’s throat that forced them apart and left them panting for breath. Echo blushed a beautiful shade of red as Tech watched them sheepishly.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Hunter teased.

“That is a shame,” Tech said with a small, crooked smile. “I was rather enjoying the show.”

“Then you shouldn’t have interrupted,” Echo smirked as Tech crowded into his space. This time, Echo was ready and kissed him with as much passion as he had Hunter. Tech became weak at his knees, forcing Hunter to hold him up, and Echo quickly decided that he could get used to this.

It wasn’t the same as being with the five hundred and first, but Echo didn’t want it to be. He would always love his former squads, but this new one wasn’t half bad. He hoped they would be around for a long time.

.

 10 YEARS LATER

Waves crashed on the beach, shifting the sands below. Over time, Echo knew that this place would eventually change. Erosion would claim it, or nature would, but in this moment, it would always remain as it was.

Beside him, Crosshair sat amongst the grain. He didn’t complain about sand getting everywhere anymore, even when it got caught in his cybernetic hand. Next to him, Wrecker slept, head on Crosshair’s shoulder, not so much as budging when the waves licked his toes. Their hands were entwined, soft and familiar, and Crosshair idly stroked it with his thumb as he watched the sun begin its descent into the sea.

Out in the water, Tech watched the horizon as though he were looking for something. Echo could tell he was talking but couldn’t make out what he was saying over the waves. Hunter, though, hugged him from behind and nodded along to whatever Tech told him, and took every opportunity to kiss his cheek, his neck, anywhere he could reach. Never again would Hunter let Tech out of his sight, or go where he couldn’t follow, not after Eriadu and Tantiss.

It took them a long time, but finally, they were all where they were meant to be, together.

Something broke over the horizon, and Echo grinned as Tech waved to those who were waiting on the shore. Crosshair nudged Wrecker awake, but the way that Wrecker was on his feet and waving in an instant, no one would have ever known if not for the drool on his chin. As a ship sped into the cove nearby, Tech and Hunter trudged back through the water and waited patiently for the ship’s captain to emerge.

“Hey! I’m back!”

Omega waved as she ran across the beach to them, beaming proudly as Batcher trailed behind her. No longer did Echo have to kneel to be on her level, and she easily leapt into his arms, still not quite tall enough to keep her feet on the ground. Echo caught her easily and hugged her tightly. This was her first solo flight, to Lothal to bring supplies to a small rebel cell and back, and as far as he could tell, she had been successful. They had known that they couldn’t keep her out of the fight forever, even though they’d all wished they’d had a little more time with her. After all, Omega wasn’t just their sister, but their kid. They raised her.

“Welcome home, Havoc 5,” Echo murmured as he set her back onto her feet.

Omega smiled and leaned up to kiss his cheek. That…was new, not unwelcomed, but definitely new.

“It’s good to be home.”

[herconfuse]

Feeling alone in the system community truly is an interesting thing. I went on a wild goose chase for two years, trying to find out if I was experiencing DID or OSDD (Those were the only options given to me at the time), just to end up with a weird unlabeled experience that I've never heard of. I honestly believed(And still do slightly believe) that I have some weird unwritten about identity disorder, that is unlike system-related dissociative disorders, and purely causes completely random shifts in identity. Because that's the only symptom I really have of anything. And I've never found anyone that actually experiences the same thing. It feels like the system community has this weird expectation, where you have to have these completely different people in your head that are super separate from you, and they're able to be communicated with, and everything is all standard. But I can't meet that expectation, and I'm the only person in the world with that apparently. Small little rare intrusions, no communication with headmates (except maybe *once*), no amnesia, yet I can't control these random identity intrusions? I feel like the system community needs a big change in the way system diversity is represented, or maybe I'm just a singular case that hasn't been discovered yet, who knows /silly I'd love to find more people that experience what I experience, that would probably make me feel a bit more valid tbh

[tinyfantasminha]

I think Tumblr and other social medias have aged to become more like a community where everybody assumes they are friends with everyone (unless they disagree with them). Like as social media gets introduced to younger and younger kids every year, the sense and need of privacy is no longer there.

Now for people, someone showing their art might be akin to a friend showing their drawing to you, it becomes expected so the less detailed compliments they give.

The solution could be to make your page more professional so people dont get the idea they are your friends, since you do post things that would be considered talk between friends (like simping for jack). But i get the feeling you'd hate that since it would essentially turn your page into more of a statistics rather than a warm environment.

Im not good at wording myself so im sorry if this gives off an offending message, im trying to be objective but im not sure how it comes across.

DW, I get what you're trying to say 😔 It's annoying that more and more people in fandom nowadays seem to know little to none of fandom etiquette... and it's not just the teens, it's a worryingly amount of adults too

Creators want validation, nice comments and asks but they also want respect... one parasocial interaction which is especially common with artists and writers are the ''can you teach me how to draw/write/how to create ocs'' or by seeking validation for their own personal stuff (sending their art or pictures unsolicited so YOU specifically can feedback it, or asking you to opinion on their ocs) like..... I can see these actions may come from a genuine place, but it should be common sense that these are weird ways to start a conversation with a creator you supposedly admire. It feels intrusive and demanding.

And sometimes the intention is not even bad, it's just phrased in a demanding way that makes creators feel pressured. Rephrasing ''can you teach me how to draw/write'' with ''hello! I love your art/writing! if you don't mind me asking, could you share your creative process or maybe tips?'' makes a WHOLE difference! it's more polite and acknowledges the creator’s boundaries, making the request feel more like a compliment than a demand.

Ugh, the thing is... making the blog more ''professional'' takes away the whole point of it. Tumblr is one of the few spaces left where you can scream into the void about your interests, gush over things you love, and just exist as a person, not a content machine. Unlike algorithm-driven platforms like tiktok or twitter, in here it lets you control your space; your blog is yours to curate, to fill with weirdness, passion, and whimsy. Here, creators feel like real people, not just faceless usernames churning out "content" for engagement. I do not feel comfortable being as much personal on twitter for example, where any nosy person can QRT you being unnecessarily mean because the platform's culture prioritizes performative snark and clout over genuine creativity or connection. Tumblr was always a place for the weirdos, the cringe and the freaks, no one is here to make a brand out of themselves, it's about being authentic and having fun.

Creators should absolutely be allowed to be loose, weird, and fun here while still being respected 😔

[lena-thinks-too-much]

Got tagged by @baambastic for WIP Wednesday

The rules are to post an excerpt from your most recent WIP and then tag a bunch of people. So here's a little something from the next chapter of The Best Laid Plans of Robins:

Jay breaks the silence first, cracking the lid on the pot to give the stew a quick stir. “By the way,” he says, his tone shifting to something lighter, “if you’re planning to use that knife for anything else, maybe wipe the carrot gunk off first. Unless you’re into cross-contamination.” Tim rolls his eyes, reaching for a rag. “I think I’ll live.” “Sure,” Jay shoots back, smirking. “Until you don’t. Food poisoning is a silent killer, kid.” Tim huffs a laugh despite himself, wiping down the knife. It’s weird how quickly Jay can flip the mood. It’s even weirder how natural it feels when he does. “I’m guessing you’ve survived worse,” Tim says, watching as Jay grabs a spice jar and shakes some into the pot with practiced ease. Jay flashes a grin over his shoulder. “You’d be right. I’ve seen people taken out by a bad shrimp cocktail. Food safety’s serious business.” Tim raises an eyebrow. “That’s… oddly specific.” “Life’s oddly specific,” Jay says with a shrug, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Tim shakes his head, snorting as he finishes wiping down the cutting board. Objectively, Jay is a weird person. He’s this towering ex-mercenary—or whatever his backstory actually is. Jay refuses to share, but the few anecdotes he’s let slip are straight-up insane. And yet here he is, standing in Drake Manor, making stew, and lecturing about food safety like he’s a suburban dad. Or the FDA. Could be either really. It’s undeniably bizarre. “You’re thinking too hard,” Jay says, snapping Tim out of his thoughts. Tim blinks. “What?” Jay points a wooden spoon at him with a knowing smirk “You’ve got that look. The one that screams, ‘I’m solving twenty problems in my head and pretending I don’t have feelings.’” Tim scowls. That’s a really pointed description that sounds uncomfortably like Bruce. Tim internally cringes at the thought. “I do not have a look.” “Kid, you have the look,” Jay counters, leaning casually against the counter. “It’s practically your resting face. I’m surprised your teachers don’t call you out for it.” Tim hesitates for just a beat too long, and Jay’s smirk sharpens. “Not that you’d know anything about teachers calling you out, right?” Jay adds with just the right amount of edge to keep Tim on guard. Tim shakes his head and tries to shake off the weird feeling. “You’re ridiculous.” “And you’re dodging,” Jay says, clearly enjoying this. Tim suppresses the urge to roll his eyes, but there’s something about Jay’s banter that feels less like an intrusion and more like something... normal. He shifts his focus back to the cutting board that he’s wiping down. “So, what are we calling this stew?” Jay grins, catching the deflection but letting it slide. “Classic Jay Peters Mystery Stew,” he announces with a flourish. “Guaranteed to taste like something—or your money back.” Tim snorts. “Comforting.” “Relax, it’s good,” Jay says, grabbing two bowls. “Unless you’re allergic to awesome, in which case, we’ve got bigger problems.”

@gothamite-rambler @timdrakewhump @yjcorefourenjoyer @derp-a-la-sheep @violent138

Thanks for tagging me!

[corruptible-crow]

Oh my goodness I love the idea of a microchip placed in your brain, or even being simply hypnotized to believe that there is one, and then feeling impulses to do things more and more degrading and humiliating with every task you complete. First you go around your house humping things because you have this weird little intrusive thought that told you it would be hot if you did that. But then it gets worse. Maybe you're grabbing your breasts whenever you can and other orange people watching. And then maybe you decide to grab your breasts while people are watching and hoping that they don't think anything about it. But then you decide the grab your breasts and keep rubbing them while somebody into the bathroom while you're fondling your tits in the mirror... You make eye contact with them and you're blushing bright red but you can't stop yourself from rubbing. Are they smirking because they think you're a dumb horny slut? Or are they smirking because they know they wish somebody would do that to them too so they understand why you're doing it? Or are they just smirking because you look so horny? All kinds of impulses coming from this little microchip in your head, if only you knew who was controlling that microchip

Id love the idea of losing my inhibitions little by little 😍❤️🥵🤤

[massy2ly]

Alright, buckle up… Part 2: Style

I’m so confused y’all 🧍‍♀️ discombobulated, flummoxed, as befuddled as a squirrel in a nut factory. And not about ep. 4 at all, to me this episode hinted at all there was to say. What confuse me are THE REACTIONS around this episode that I keep seeing on all platforms .

Maybe it’s just me idk but this shit is a little weird because I don’t see how you can come to the conclusion that:

1. Fadel folded, surrendered, entered the shiny gates of the garden of romance, and is willing to delve into the danger that is love (I’m exaggerating ofc lol).

2. Style started having genuine deep feelings for this guy and actually wanted to be his boyfriend.

- Style who just recently started being intrigued by Fadel, Style who’s been so self centered that every action he takes and every word that comes out of his mouth are driven by his initial purpose. Egoistical (so far) and so arrogant that he takes offense at Fadel’s legitimate reactions to his intrusive, borderline sociopathic behavior. Style who keeps showing a creepy double face whenever we switch from his interactions with Fadel to his meetings with Kant or just him being alone. Style who admitted to acting stupid and goofy as not to raise suspicion. Style who lives for a good challenge and still takes Fadel as the perfect one to satisfy his ego.

Style who’s my favorite baby in the show but also the biggest mystery out of the four characters. We gained sm insight into Fadel’s life and turmoil. I could write an essay about Kant and already can picture his inner conflict and the chaos that would unfold when he admits to his feelings for Bison (criminal mind of a man on survival mode but also such a lonely and beyond stressed lover boy who’s tired of controlling everything). Bison is pure dynamite with a childlike rawness and temperament that are as adorable as they can be explosive if you get on his wrong side (pretty sure he’s the most dangerous out of the two brothers and I think Kant is realizing that too).

Style tho? We don’t know much about him beyond his obsession with cars, his carefree nature, his joie de vivre, his brazenness, his courage, his uniqueness, a shamelessness that is just unmatched. To me, it’s not that he doesn’t understand social cues, he just chooses not to pay them any heed, in addition to disregarding people’s emotions. He’s shameless and selfish and entitled.

But I like to believe there’s a whole lot more about Style we weren’t allowed to see since he’s the one who’s been acting the most. Not only that but he’s the one who does it best: Kant’s face is so expressive that you can see the cracks in his mask. One threat and that smile wobbles and he starts looking constipated lol. It also helps that we’ve seen him interact with many people which gives us an overall portrait of who he is. But when it comes to Style, we’ve only started to glimpse at his true face and there’s so much more to uncover. The fear now that he knows what Fadel is, the love he’ll start feeling towards a soft Fadel, the dilemma between what’s right and wrong, between loyalty and betrayal, safety and danger. Vulnerability seems to me the key word for him as we haven’t seen yet an emotionally vulnerable Style. Fear, love, confliction and hurt will bring out a serious side of him that could balance his eccentricity and, subsequently, convince me that his feelings are genuine.

However, for now, it’s not the case!!! This guy is physically attracted to Fadel, still sees him as a case to crack (fadel got it right on that one), is definitely intrigued and interested, but genuine attachement? A big no. If there is any, it’s still dormant or he’s not aware of it. Can you blame him tho? Realistically, Fadel hasn’t done much to make his heart flutter. Bro was still being cruel and humiliated him just a day before they got together. As unhinged as he is, Style is not sadistic lol and actually needs someone to bring out his vulnerable side with softness and love. Because Fadel showed no potential of being able or willing to do that before, Style is not aware of the grave he dug for himself. I think he does not expect to fall in love with him, which could explain why he agreed in this ep to work with Kant. He’s still so detached and out of touch with his feelings to not conclude that the most logical decision is using his status to stop a killer. He’ll probably realize how wrong he was when he gets a taste of lover Fadel in next episode. I hope ep 5 marks the beginning of him falling in love because I suspect he’ll already be in too deep when Fadel discovers (or confirms) his ulterior plans.

Anyway, even though I know he’s not there yet, I still hope that the kiss, the words he said to fadel and that look on his face were genuine. I wanted to break Kant’s face and that FUCKING CAR when Style looked all smug about his victory. It’s so sad and I can’t wait to see the guilt, self consciousness and love eating him up for once.

[softestqueeen]

my little flower pt. 2

pairing: stalker!könig (cod) x reader

summary: You were just minding your business, planting some new flowers in your garden, when suddenly a (charming) man in a mask abducts you to use you for his pleasure. You are incredibly conflicted; the stranger seems to be kinda nice but also incredibly selfish at the same time.

Slowly you’re getting used to living with the man that was slowly becoming more than just the man who abducted you. You’re also getting used to the different ways he’s using and abusing your body.

warnings: 18+ MDNI!! mention of stalking, kidnapping and being held captive, p in v sex, non con, rape, kind of free use?, consent – never heard of it, no safe word, shower sex, sexual abuse, description emotional abuse, very possessive behaviour, light bondage, handcuffs, cunnilingus, overstimulation, gagging, spanking, 69, oral (both receiving), no aftercare

wordcount: 2283 words

read part one here!

a/n: I just couldn’t let it go and had to write a part two. Am I procrastinating with writing rn? Maybe. Enjoy <3

You couldn’t tell how long König had already kept you locked up in your room. It could have been days, but it could have also been weeks, months. The past was a bit blurry. He didn’t drug you that often anymore and the only way you could keep track of time was to try to observe when König left for work an when he came back.

You knew when he came back because he always checked on you. If you weren’t having sex, he was sometimes actually really nice to you. Always checking on your health if you were hungry or needed anything else. The two of you sometimes even have dinner downstairs on the rare occasions when he lets you leave your room. It is easier than expected to talk to him and sometimes living with him felt freeing, as weird as that sounds.

You didn’t have to work or worry about money; you didn’t really have to socialise with anyone or meet new people. You could spend the whole day reading and dressing up in the countless outfits that König hung up in your closet and await his return.

He enjoyed you company but what he enjoyed even more was using your body. It had taken some time to get used to the fact that you sometimes woke up gagged with König’s cock deep down your pussy or that sometimes when he got home from work, he didn’t care about what you were doing but just forced himself into one of your holes.

Sometimes you wondered how your parents were doing or what your friends were up to. But König was quick to fuck those thoughts out of you.

As weird and twisted as it may sound you were slowly falling for the dark man.

You were currently standing in the shower, enjoying the warm stream, and listening to some music on the CD-player König had gotten you after you complained about how quiet it was when he was gone.

You’ve just rinsed the shampoo out of your hair and were about to grab your bottle of shower gel when you suddenly felt a pair of hands on your lips. Now you could also feel a powerful presence behind you.

You didn’t get any warning before König entered you in one swift motion, making a sound between a gasp and a moan leave your lips, while you leaned forward to steady yourself against the shower wall. He started to fuck you in earnest, giving you no time to recover from the intrusion and using you in a way he hadn’t in a long time.

“I have been thinking about burying my thick cock in that sweet and tight pussy all day long, just for you to not be in your room. You’re never save from me, little flower. I will always find you.” he growled into your ear before speeding up his thrusts and adding “You” Thrust “Are” Thrust “Mine” Thrust “You understand me?” Thrust

You could only whimper and give him a weak nod while he continued to abuse your pussy in earnest. He grabbed your hair and pulled your head back while leaving hickeys everywhere he could reach. He had one hand in your hair and the other one was leaving finger shaped bruises on your hip.

You could do nothing but stand there and let it happen. You knew you were not strong enough to do anything against it, and after the initial shock it was actually quite pleasurable, and you could feel your orgasm already building.

“Say it for me, tell me who you belong to, little flower.”, he told you while slowing down his thrust a bit, but now hitting your g-spot perfectly, making nit even harder for you to answer.

“Y- Y- You, I belong to you”, you managed to stammer out.

He halted his thrusts completely and pinched your nipple, making you yelp. “You know that’s not want I want to hear, sweetheart. I’ll ask you again, who do you belong to?”

You tried to calm your breathing before answering him “I belong to you, König. Only you.”

That seemed to be the right answer because he picked up his pace again and started to drill into you again.

“When you’re going to cum, I want you to scream my name while I fill up that sweet little pussy. And then I’m going to eat that pussy out, you hear me?”, he whispered into your ear while pressing you completely against the tiled shower wall. You let out a gasp when your front made contact with the cold tiles, but nodded anyways, already feeling your orgasm etching closer and closer.

König could also feel you squeezing him and was ready to fill you up.

“Cum for me, little flower. Come for me now or you won’t cum for weeks.”, his sinful words brought you over the edge. You screamed his name while covering his abdomen with your nectar. Not a second later you could feel him shooting his cum into your pussy while slowly halting his thrusts. He kept his still rock-hard cock inside your pussy though, using it as a plug for his cum.

He took the shower head from the wall, taking his hand from your hair.

“Before I’ll eat out your little cunt and taste it, I’m feeling like playing with you a little bit more.”, he told you before using the shower head to wash over your body, the little droplets of water gliding down your skin and if he wasn’t already hard again, he would be now.

You were still pressed against the shower when he guided the shower head to your sensitive cunt, spraying it from afar but slowly moving closer. The little sprays made a shiver run down your spine and you felt König’s cock twitch inside of you, making you moan.

König guided the spray along your pussy, before focusing on your clit. The stimulation felt heavenly, the softness a stark contrast to the harsh fucking from just moments before. He concentrated on your clot before moving along your lips and then going back to your clit, building a steady rhythm.

You were embarrassingly close to coming again, the shower head feeling better than anticipated.

“Cum for me and I’ll eat you out, little flower. I’ll eat you out until you’ll beg me to stop.”, his words brought you even closer to the edge and when he concentrated on your clit and inserted one of his thick fingers inside of your tight cunt, joining his already fat cock, you were a goner.

This orgasm was softer than your first one. You came again with a loud moan of König’s name, and you could feel his cock pulsing inside of you.

He let you some time to calm down before pulling out and steadying you with one of his hands around your waist. He washed you and touched you like you were a porcelain doll about to break. You loved the rare gentleness but also knew that this was the silence before the storm.

He lifted you out of the shower and dried you up, before carrying you back into your bedroom and laying you on the bed. König didn’t bother to put any clothes on you because he knew he wouldn’t need them.

You lay sprawled out on the bed, your legs spread, his cum still dripping out of you. It didn’t surprise you that he spared your cunt when he washed you. You watched König curiously as he walked over to your closet. Did he want to dress you up?

Oh boy, how wrong you were.

He came back with two pairs of handcuffs and a mischievous grin. You just lay there while he handcuffed one of your hands to the bedpost before he repeated the same action on your other hand.

You experimentally pulled on them, but they didn’t give you any room to move. The thought of being at König’s mercy like that made a wave of wetness flow to your pussy.

König didn’t say anything while he went to lay down between your spread legs. He started at your hole and licked up a long stripe to your clit with his flat tongue, making you squirm and moan. You wished you could put your hands into his hair and pull it, knowing he would go feral.

He kept on eating you out, taking his time with you. Circling your clit, licking along the lips of your pussy, teasing your hole, and occasionally even leaving open mouthed kissed on your cunt and on the side of your thighs.

You were slowly going insane. You wished you could move against his face to use your hands in any way to touch him, but you had no chance. If you moved your hips forward, he instantly pulled his mouth away and slapped your thigh. There was already a red spot on the inside of your thigh, but every time he hits you it makes a jolt of pleasure shoot through your body.

He was slowly working you to your next orgasms and you hated the teasing. When you tried to protest, he got up, picked up his glove from the floor and stuffed it into your mouth, gagging you.

You couldn’t breathe through the glove and started to grow lightheaded, but it only fed into your pleasure and making everything feel more intense.

Before he went back to your pussy, he told you “You can come whenever you want, I just need to taste you little flower.”

He slowly brought you to your next orgasm and when you finally hit it, it made you see stars. You let out a scream, though it was muffled by the gag. Even though you came for a third time already, König did not seem to end it here. He just continued to eat you out, but now he was slowly increasing the speed until his harsh movements started to hurt your already overstimulated pussy.

Tears were now streaming down your face, and you felt dizzy again, but König seemed to be in his own world, groaning and moaning against your heat. He lapped up your juices when you came for the fourth time.

You thought he would have some mercy on you and leave you be for the night when he pulled away and got up from the bed. But when you saw that he still had a huge boner, you knew that he was not done yet.

He removed the gag from your mouth, and you greedily breathed in the fresh air in big gulps. He went to remove the handcuffs and you just let your hands drop, not being able to move them anymore, your wrists sore from the cuffs.

He joined you on the bed again, lifting your hips and putting you over his face. Your back was faced to the headboard and when you looked forward, you could see König’s errection standing proudly and already messy with pre-cum.

If König didn’t have such a strong grip on your waits, you were sure that you would just fall forward. He spread your legs a bit wider so that your already swollen pussy was directly over his lips. You could feel the breaths of his next words against you, making you shiver.

“I’m going to keep on playing with that sweet little pussy until you made me cum with your mouth, little flower. But don’t use your hands.”, he commanded.

You immediately leaned forward, your shaky arms were on either side of his hips, supporting your weight.

You licked a long stripe up his cock, tracing a particular prominent vein, before sucking his head into your mouth and swallowing his pre-cum.

You could feel him groaning against you before he started to eat you out again. You moaned around him, feeling his thighs and hips twitching underneath you. You worked your mouth up and down his length, taking him deeper with every time you moved down on his cock.

You could feel him twitch inside of you and more pre-com escaping his slit. You took him down your throat, his tip already hitting the back of your throat. He fucked your throat so often; you didn’t even gag anymore on his thick grid.

You started to move in sync, his finger now joining his mouth. He slowly worked his large fingers inside of you, until three of them were pumping in and out of you. When he entered a fourth one and sucked on your clit, you were done.

His cock hit the back of your throat when you hit your orgasm, your head stilling, while König kept on fucking you with his fingers, working you through your high.

The taste of your release and your tight throat around his cock, made him shoot thick ropes of cum down your throat. You moaned around him when you tasted his release, now slowly lifting your head. Only the head of his cock remained in your mouth, and you sucked on it, swallowing down the last drops of his sweet cum.

You completely pulled off him and he lifted you up again, pulling his fingers out of cunt and detaching his tongue from you.

He lifted you completely from him and turned you around, so your head was nestled on the pillow.

He harshly slapped your ass, making you jolt forward and force a moan out of your lips. You were so overstimulated, you hoped he was finally finished with you.

He put on his boxers again, before he looked at you naked body on more time. “Get some rest, little flower. I’m not done with you yet.”

a/n: thanks for reading, i hope you enjoyed it! Please leave some notes in the form of likes, reblogs and comments! Feedback is always appreciated and comments in general help me a lot to improve my writing and always make my day!

You can also request things here and on my ao3!

taglist: @silvermagnolias @milywatermelon @BigBananaa