#and maybe adjust personality for different stats in the game part

[dekarios]

when i was younger like. early to mid twenties. i used to get so mad at all the 'its a dating sim' jokes towards rpgs with romance in it. and now i'm just like.. i ain't got the time nor the energy to be upset that some people play these games exclusively for romance. there's nothing wrong with that. many people read romance novels exclusively and are only there for the romance portions, in games we have a billion visual novels where no one cares about the story and just wanna romance pretty people, blah blah romance as a genre exists for a reason and rpgs with romance options are the best option still for 'make your own character to romance the character of choice' whereas everything else gives you a premade, even in visual novels you have a premade character even if you can name them and maybe change a few things, its all very basic... i have nothing against people who use rpgs to get that same feeling but having more control over how they get it

anyway

[maliro-t]

nat 20, crit fail, prep and tpk!

nat 20: What's the most memorable RP scene you've been a part of?

I know this is technically a question for me as a player but as a DM, there was an exchange with one of my players (in blue) as this little kid NPC (in red) after they'd saved him from a pretty horrible massacre that just went:

"Have you seen people die?"

"Yeah."

"Did you like them too?"

"Yeah. But there's nothing I could do for them. And they're happier where they are now."

"I wish you could be happy too."

"Yeah."

Which just got me real in my feelings about Mr. Mumford and made me real proud of his player :)

crit fail: Have you ever had a character death? What happened?

I personally have not! I think that's in part because the longest campaigns I've been in as a player were only over about 7 or eight months, so I haven't had a ton of opportunity to be thrust into mortal peril. Although I guess you never know lol, especially at lower levels.

prep: How much prep work do you do? How far out do you prep?

I would say it varies session to session, which is probably normal. I've played around with completely homebrewing some shorter sessions, but there honestly isn't a place for that in my work life balance, so I've turned to running published material (namely Curse of Strahd). That takes a lot of the burden of prep off, since I more rarely am designing things from scratch-- although I do my fair share of modification, and there still is plenty of stuff that I have to figure out myself! For most games I will make sure I have the sections that I will need from the book marked out and available, and especially if looks like it's gonna be a sort of open-ended RP game, I'll write out certain guidelines for myself into my campaign notebook so it's easier for me to keep track of things (I also do this for combat, in that I'll usually write a few lines about major figures' goals, if they're relevant, and maybe their first move or two). I try not to prep much beyond what I think will fit in a session (because I frankly don't have time), but sometimes I overestimate, and will end up with notes that last me three sessions. But beyond sort of vague notions of bigger picture building blocks that are moving in the background, I try to only prep stuff I think will be immediately pertinent. And I do trust my improv skills enough where a lot of that will be vague sketching! For example, in CoS there's a festival that's upcoming in one of the major cities, but the book has truly no information about what the festival itself entails beyond sort of a morbid procession, so I went into that game with an opening scene, a vague thought about ring toss, and a vague thought about local card sharks, and just kind of played it by ear from there. And it was one of our most fun games! I do prep a LOT for combat though-- we play on roll20 so I'm cobbling together maps (which usually will take an hour or so depending) and will often times write out entire stat blocks so I don't have to be looking for them. I do use the dnd beyond encounter tracker some of the time, but in big, complicated encounters, I find that can actually make my life extra confusing, so I do a lot of handwriting shit out on paper.

tpk: Have you ever had a game go completely off the rails? TPK? How did you adjust?

I did in fact facilitate a TPK in my current campaign which was !!!! yeah I would say off the rails is putting it mildly! The entire party was slaughtered by dire wolves, which was a random encounter on the way to a completely different objective so. very unexpected. It was one of those games that truly makes you feel insane, and it was almost entirely down to rolls-- I was rolling very well for these wolves (I think I crit 3 or 4 times?) and they were rolling extremely poorly. It was honestly easier for me that everyone went out than just a few people, because it meant that I could make on the fly decisions for the group and no one had to sit out the rest of the session. So, once the last person went down I gave everyone a kind of solo limbo vignette where we zeroed in on some character/backstory stuff for each of them, just to kind of settle everyone (which was really fun to do, especially since there's a lot they don't know about each other's histories, some more than others), and took a five minute recess to figure out what to do next-- I was lucky that unbeknownst to the party, they were on their way to knock on the door of a hag coven, who had their own reasons to want them alive, so I ended up having them all wake up as their captives. Congrats, you made it to where you were going! Sorry, you're still fucked! And THAT ended up being one of the most fun, intense encounters we've run. And I certainly am weaving some threads in the background about how exactly they survived and what the long-term consequences of that are.

[kvicka]

Hogwarts Legacy - game review

I don’t have this one in my Steam library, so I cannot review there. But I want to get my disappointment with killed potential out. Therefore I decided to post one very long review on my Tumblr.

(Doing my best to write this without any spoiler. Also I am not taking in account anything regarding the author of this universe)

Hogwarts legacy is „not bad“ game but I am not sure if it’s really worth the money they want for it. It could have been great game. There is clearly huge potential but I suspect there were few (revenue-driven) decisions to make this accessible to as many people as possible, that killed this potential thoroughly and it makes me angry, seeing how great it could be otherwise.

What are the main issues? The game pretends to be RPG but you will soon find out that your choices have no impact on anything beyond next sentence. The world doesn’t react to you at all. Characters are just unresponsive scripted background unless they are enemy, vendor or you have a mission with them. That means you can also walk whenever you want, no matter how much restricted it is.

I still managed to play through the game. Took me about week and half. I see the appeal and the potential, but it honestly makes me that much angrier for the decisions that were made to bastardise this. After you finish with the main story, you will find out there is zero reasons to replay again.

But because nothing can stop me roleplaying in my head even if the game is not helping, I am also going to publish one more post full of spoilers explaining my character story.

So let’s look into this in detail and as I like to do, start with positives:

Graphic is nice and the music is nice.

The world is nice or at least at first glance. You get big open word plus Hogwarts castle to explore and at first you will feel really charmed. Your fellow students (during day) got some scripted situations that will run, which makes very nice background and gives you the feeling the Hogwarts are really alive. (Some involving ghosts, some howler from angry parent or just some study-troubles).

You can create customized character and give them their own name, that the game will use in subtitles. Through the game you can even adjust some parts of your look (hair, details on face etc.). You have lot of freedom in outfits (equipment) to the extent where you can give the equipment totally different appearance. I was for example regularly updating to equipment with best stats, but in the end my character was wearing almost the same outfit whole game because I just changed the appearance of it.

The story and side stories (with your friends) maybe not mind-blowing but still good. They are simple (in sense that you will not get 12 plot-twists and you can predict where it is leading) but they are not boring. Side quests are sometimes questionable (like sending student to forbidden forest to investigate?? Really lady??…I am underaged student…) but at least they do not feel repetitive.

If you are fan of the universe with deep knowledge of it, you will probably enjoy the references. I personally liked the “follow the butterflies”.

Combat: Because you can combine whatever spells you have learned, in addition to throwing objects or disarmed weapons on the opponent and with ancient magic ability in the mix, every fight can be completely unique.

Yes, the room of requirement that you can “furnish” and the vivarium’s with magical beasts are quite “magical”, I have to admit that. When you get them, it’s very exciting. So is, ridding Hippogryph, at least the first time or other similar things when you get to them in the story.

 Now to the ISSUES and in my opinion what made from could-be-great game the  not-bad game:

YOUR CHOICES DOESN’T MATTER AT ALL. This is the biggest issue especially as the game tries to look as RPG game. It gives you choices but (beside ending choices) they do not go beyond next sentence or two. The “behaviour” of your character is heavily scripted, which doesn’t have to be bad thing if the game doesn’t pretend you have the choice. And maybe they originally intended  for the choices to impact something but they removed it from the game so some poor lazy player would not f**k-up something by wrong choice and cry about it. Or something like that I imagine happened.  It gets even worse in some part where the script just reverts your choice completely. Like you decide to keep secret but the game will make your character spill by next opportunity without any good reason to do so…..

THE WORLD DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOU OR REACT TO YOUR ACTIONS. At first you think how beautiful the world is. How the Hogwarts feel alive as some scripted actions run in background when you access the corridor etc. To give them credit some characters have scripted commenting on something you did in the story so far, so you can be fooled at the beginning. It is nice background. And then you find out that these are actually not characters (NPCs) but really just background. Background that doesn’t react to anything you do unless you are in specific quest that triggers that (there are exactly 2 through whole game….). Meaning nobody cares if you wander into restricted section. Nobody cares that you wander the school at night (plus at night all students will disappear….but to where stays the ultimate mystery because dormitories are always and forever empty). Nobody cares that you wander forbidden forest. Nobody cares that you break-into houses. Not even the family that sits on sofa and watches  you while you loot their treasure chest. Nor the professor which cabinet you are looting and ruining with blasting spell. Hell, if you get attacked by enemy close to these characters, they do not care. First time I went on some quest outside a castle, I was quite worried if it’s safe to wander the forest. And then I saw some guy on the rode walking in front of me. So, I though, ok, it will be safe… Then big spider attacked me and the guy just glitched through the spider and continued walking while it tried to eat me….. I can understand if the developers do not want the NPCs to engage in player fights but they could at least make them run……. But what is even worse, is that the same applies to the side characters that should be your friends. You have no chance to interact with your “friends” outside the quests. You cannot even talk to them after class. It’s ridiculous. And this could be fixed by simple stupid 2 or 3 generic dialogues that could be given to them. Like “hey, any news on blablabla?” with answer like “hey, sorry. Nothing yet. I will let you know by owl, once I find something new”….. Or “hey, really thanks for last time…….” even with answer like “let’s not talk about this here” or  some s**t like that… would make you feel less angry with the whole game. I honestly had HUGE problem with this, because with some “friends”, I had this issue where I was not perceiving them as friend at all and seeing zero fucking reason why I should spill my secrets to them (yes, I talk about you Natty…)

The fact that you can just go anywhere (outside the two mentioned missions) where you can get at that point in game (restriction is basically only learning Alohomora levels) and you don’t need to try and sneak or be careful that you will get caught or reported, that takes lot of fun out of the game

Combat doesn’t have any mechanic for lethal or non-lethal approach. Neither it will anyhow recognize if you were or were not seen. No matter if you use Avada Kedavra or “Petrificus Totalus” on unaware enemy, the result is the same. They turn to dust. Then there is question why to use the stealth approach at all. Honestly it is only useful, if you want to take them down one by one and not fight all at once. I personally prefer to change one of them into explosive barrel and throw him in the face of their friend. That is at least fun.

Open world yes…..but the content it was filled with, beside the story and quests, is very repetitive and often not rewarding sufficiently. From my point of view, I did the things like Merlin trials only up to the point where I was getting at least some benefits from them ( like inventory space) and then I stopped. Because what is really the point of doing them anymore? The treasure vaults are just jokes…there is not even anything valuable in them. You will find just some random equipment (very often not even good one) – and I am not kidding. Killed enemies often drop better things then you can get from treasure chests.

I don’t honestly even see the motivation to keep exploring the word after the main story and side quests are done as whatever is left it is extremely repetitive and unless you are really enjoy brushing your unicorn mane for another 16 or 30 hours, there is nothing more to do after you finish main and side stories.

No point to replay the game. Especially due to fact that your choices don’t matter you will very quickly find out there is no fun in replaying. You cannot really make the character come out much different than the first play. Not even by picking different house. Beside one main story quest that differs based on the house you picked, it will be the exact same script.

 Last point I wanted to mention. But first let’s get this absolutely clear!, I am not complaining in this part about any queer characters, disability characters or other nationalities being included in the game. I am not racist, and I am myself part of LGBTQ+. I am just trying to point out that these topics should not be just check-boxes on developers or marketers list. Because then it comes out unnatural as in this case. I understand that this is sensitive topic in current world, but I still think it could have been handled with more delicate approach, then just: “Disability – check, gay – check, trans – check, now throw random mix of nationalities in without any care for location or time period - check. Great and now nobody can complain that we are not inclusive.” I don’t think this is how this shoudl be done.

 Reasons behind the bad decisions that killed the game?

This is just my speculation, but I strongly believe that future-revenue-based-decisions were made here. Because they wanted to aim for as much audience as possible. For example the casual players that don’t actually care much about any story. Unfortunately, my suspicion was further strengthened when I stumbled upon one ridiculous post on Reddit, where the user complained that he missed learning one spell because “they are just clicking through all dialogues as quickly as possible to get through and by that selected the answer, where you will not learn the spell”…. well WHY THE HELL DO YOU PLAY DIALOGUE-HEAVY RPG GAME IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO LISTEN TO THESE. The answer is easy. Because the game allows for that. You don’t have to read/listen to the dialogues or even to what you are actually selecting to answer. You cannot spoil anything with your choices and it will have no impact on anything whatsoever. Even in this example case, you can learn the spell straight after the mission anyway. So no matter what you click it will not impact the game or your character or anything.  (There are about 2 exceptions. Ending decision for main story. And kinda “ending” decision for one of the side stories. But even with these, they do not affect actually the word after anyway. You will just get different cut-scene let’s say…

.

.

I can admit this can be really charming, but it still doesn’t make the game worth 60€ ... 

[i-have-a-lot-of-ocs]

Hello Tumblr, I have an idea of a game heavily inspired by Wonderful☆Opportunity's "Death should not have taken thee!" !!

So the idea is: A seemingly average "Defeat the Demon Lord" JRPG where you (Moka) play as the king(queen, Atria)'s personal castle guard (and childhood best friend) turned hero, but the game is engineered for you to not be able to defeat the Demon Lord as Hero Moka. Even if you clear averything and max out all your stats. Whenever you die during the demon lord part of the game, it resets back to the starting point at the castle. The king(She's a girl, but she's the main "governor" so she's called a king) has a time loop established with her magic scepter where only she and Moka (because they're the only two with the knowledge it resets time prior to the actual reset) remember what happens after she resets the timeline back to its set starting point.

But, whenever you reset, you have a dialogue option saying "This is literally impossible." to Atria. She flips out a bit if you choose it, saying "Come on, you've only resetted X times! There's this guy who reset like, 1863 times!! Maybe you haven't leveled up enough!" "If that is so, go try it yourself, my lord." "Hmph, fine!" and you now play as Atria. It's a one-time only immediate battle against the Demon Lord. And yes, it's still impossible. She summons the entire army to fight, but she ends up getting killed.

Moka is like: "Sigh... this idiot." And revives her with the spell and scepter. They decide to just wait till the hero appears. The Hero, a magic prodigy from the Magic Tower called Athan, appears after a few resets (ones you don't play through), and a demon attack happens at the castle when she was still talking to Atria. She's like: "Your Majesty, give your magic scepter to Moka!" Atria's like: "Wtf. Fine. If we reset we're blaming this on you!!" and a combat starts where Moka is revealed to be batshit crazy good at magic. He just has a small mana reserve and subconciously consumes his health to solve that, which is why he was considered bad at it.

And also, Atria has a magic allergy of sorts to the palace scepter. Nothing lethal, but it suppresses her powers. It turns out a different magic type (that lets her self-heal and make shields basically) suits her best, and she's a really good tank with said magic type and is better with meelee weapons her aim is horrible, even with magic. Athan, a prodigy of the magic tower with absurdly high mana reserves but lower output, decides to aid the two's journey this time around, and she's basically a mana battery for Moka. They also meet Hastion, another noble magic prodigy (who will act as a second magic support), and the four befriend each other and go out to defeat the demon lord.

It's pretty similar to the first timeline with Hero Moka, but much easier. In the end, they achieve the goal pretty quickly, and Moka is like: "To think we could've solved this much earlier if we had just switched weapons!!" and there's a final cutscene of Moka (unseriously) raging at Atria while she's like: "I'm sorry!! How was I supposed to know?!?! ㅠㅠ" while Athan and Hastion smile while snacking in the background.

The End.

(Smaller details, you revive at the nearest inn during any non-demon battle defeat. You only reset if you die to demons in the Demon King's lair.)

Also Atria, Moka, Athan, and Hastion are my OCs. They have their own world setting and backstory but I tweaked with it to adjust them in this world. They (Atria and Moka) were a surprisingly good fit for Rin and Len tho. Ofc this is all still tweaked in bits but hey. Atleast I have introduced a fraction of the amount of OCs I have. I can't draw well so I probably won't draw them, but I do have ideas on how they look like.

[askagamedev]

So with the "git gud" response isn't it dependent on the game genre? I mean if someone strolled into the Dark Souls forums and complained that the game was too hard, and the other players responded with "git gud," isn't that kind of the idea of the game? Maybe they could respond nicer, but the sentiment is the same. Game is hard on purpose, or am I missing something?

Allow me to quote from my original post:

"While these might be somewhat similar on external inspection, what the hardcore fan believes is intended and what is actually intended are typically not the same thing."

Difficulty is only one dimension of an intended multi-dimensional experience. Generalizing it down to that one facet ignores many of the different reasons that players play games. You may have heard of [Richard Bartle's taxonomy of gamer motivations] before - how players tend to fall into specific buckets of Explorer, Killer, Socializer, Achiever. You may have also heard of [Magic: The Gathering's psychographic player profiles] - Timmy, Johnny, and Spike (and Vorthos and Melvin). Personally, I like [Quantic Foundry's gamer motivation model] where they break down player motivation into six different independent categories for players who play games. 

You can think about these categories like D&D character attributes - strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma. The attributes are independent of each other. Some players have high stats in many of these numbers, while others have lower stats. Each player is different.

If we break down the Souls games across these categories, you should start to see how there is are far more to the Dark Souls experience than just the difficulty. For the immersion-lovers, the entire world of Lordran is lovingly and carefully crafted with environmental storytelling and lore everywhere. For those who crave action and excitement, there are highly scripted and varied boss fights against interesting and unique enemies. For creativity, there's an immense world with lots of little secrets to find. For achievers, there is the element of powering up and defeating all of the bosses. There’s even the added social element of ghosts and leaving messages for other players. These features and elements were not added by accident - they were all intended to be part of the complete experience.

The intended experience of Souls games is to tickle all of these aspects to varying degrees, not just difficulty. Make no mistake, difficulty and challenge is, for sure, an important part of the whole. But it is not the whole, and should not be considered as such. It is not impossible for good designers (such as the Dark Souls dev team) to tweak and adjust game elements to create content such that the game still imparts the intended overall experience without making required execution so exact that the many players who are motivated by the other major game elements are not excluded by default. 

Those players who oversimplify the Dark Souls experience to one dimension like difficulty by saying "git gud" are ignoring a huge part of what makes Dark Souls Dark Souls, and that's most likely because they are extrapolating why they like Dark Souls out to why everyone should like Dark Souls. This clearly isn’t the universal case! If it were, the developers themselves would have done more to support it, rather than spend all of those resources to build out all of the extra elements that the gatekeeping players are ignoring with their oversimplified “git gud” mantra. As such, I consider the feedback from players who want to enjoy these clearly-important aspects of Souls games but cannot for execution reasons both valid and valuable.

[Join us on Discord] and/or [Support us on Patreon]

The FANTa Project is being rebooted. [What is the FANTa project?]

Got a burning question you want answered?

Short questions: Ask a Game Dev on Twitter

Long questions: Ask a Game Dev on Tumblr

Frequent Questions: The FAQ

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 11 “VoiceFarting” [Episode List] Tim and Adam are hanging out on... Liscord, playing some stuff together, waiting for Dave to join them for a game. When Adam unexpectedly has to leave however, Dave decides to do some… microphone testing.

VoiceFarting

“I’m going in as a mage ‘cause you fuckers can’t cast for shit” I heard Adam say right into my ears.

This was one of our usual game nights. We’d voice chat on Liscord on our own server and all that stuff. Adam was being, for the lack of a better term, kind of bitchy, ‘cause he thinks as himself as the most skilled gamer around even though we’re always reviving his ass. In the end it’s all in good fun of course, but we’d all happily mute him during a match if we could.

“Yes, Adam. Have fun with the ‘easy mode’ character.” I said, deliberately baiting him.

“Listen here you little shit” he immediately blurted “I can accept that you’re gay but I’m not going to accept the fact that you’re a scrub.” he said, obviously joking, though he did take skills seriously during a match.

“Yeah yeah but I’m the one using the axe, fighting enemies face-to-face like a man.” I kept teasing him. “How’s going up there? Still casting light arrows from your safe space?” I cackled.

“Excuse me???” his icon lighting up, the audio clipping “Why don’t we check your stats instead? Too afraid of looking like the scrub you are??? I literally made no mistakes last time.”

“Of course you didn’t: the chance of making mistakes is like 0% when you stand still and far from the battle.”

There was a moment of silence, then I heard Adam’s breath into the mic “You know I know where you live, right?”

I laughed but before I could continue this very deep and mature battle of wits, we both heard the sound notifying us that our bud Dave joined the voice chat. Now, whenever Dave joins, we usually hear every sound except for his voice, so we were ready to have our ears busted because of the noi-

“Hey noobs!” Dave greeted us, with a voice that was instead crystal clear.

“What the hell” both me and Adam said, our avatars lighting up at the same time.

“I see you noticed that you can now hear my beautiful voice perfectly.” he bragged, and rightfully so.

Normally we could hear his PC’s fans, what was going on down the street, cars passing by, atoms crashing into each others… farts. But now it was just Dave with his now-soothing voice calling us names.

“Are you finished?” Adam said.

But there was no response from Dave.

“Did he finally die?” Adam continued.

I heard a faint sigh of relief from Dave and then he went “Yeah, now I’m finished.”

I kind of suspected what happened but I didn’t say a word.

“Wait. You didn’t hear a thing?” Dave asked, puzzled.

Both me and Adam shrugged as if he could see us, but then said that no, we didn’t.

My detective skills told me that my gassy straight bud ripped one of his classic loud farts, but the new microphone had that “background noise reduction” feature (which my friend seriously needed) so it didn’t register his ass-blast as the old one usually did, so much so that Dave’s frequent farts would eventually turn into white noise for the rest of us. But now, his new headset was actually worth the price and all we could hear was indeed his voice.

“Can we just get into the game befo-“ Adam blurted, but was cut off mid-sentence by a loud, ear-piercing sound coming from Dave, though that wasn’t him speaking or screaming.

My fartbro really didn’t want us to miss what his ass is capable of, so we were both startled by a powerful, audio-clipping fart that completely overwhelmed our voice begging him to stop. And he did stop, but only after like 12 seconds. The rip was followed by the sound of Dave re-adjusting his microphone and laughing. “Hopefully you heard that now.” he chuckled.

I did hear it. I was very familiar with it. Truth is that Dave farting during our game sessions wasn’t anything new however. Even I was used to it, though that did pitch a tent in my shorts. I started wondering whether Dave was in jeans, shorts or boxers. Probably the latter, and shirtless, given that it was a warm evening. I tried to not to let my usual simp-ness over my bro take over me but apparently it was already too late, as I didn’t even notice Adam begin pissed off about an unwanted phone call.

“I’m sorry guys, I gotta take this one.” he said, annoyed. “Do not wait for me. Cya tomorrow I guess.”

And logged off, another sound notifying us that he went into the terrible real world realm.

“Alone at last, bro.” Dave said, in a flirty tone, just as Adam left.

I laughed and mindlessly switched to a different, this time single-player game as we needed at least 3 guys to play, one of those brutal action games that I suck at but I have to beat.

Dave did the same, with a similar game, and we both started gaming on our own but keeping each other company, like we usually do, occasionally exchanging opinions on what we were playing and so on.

“It’s probably his ex-girlfriend” Dave said.

“Yeah. I figured.” I simply answered.

Adam wasn’t really talkative about his personal stuff like me or even Dave, so neither us really knew what was going on. But if our bud didn’t want us to know, not fully know at least, then we respect this decision.

After a couple of more minutes of silence, I heard some sounds coming from Dave. Not a fart, this time though.

“Did you say something?” I asked.

I heard some muffled noises and then Dave’s voice, lower than usual though “I’m just messing with the settings here. I feel like sometimes the volume gets messed up.” and he was right.

“Yeah the audio is kind of low now.” I warned him.

I heard some more noises (keyboard tapping, mouse clicking, etc.) and then I heard him speak again.

Or, to be more precise, he did make a sound with his mouth, though those weren’t words; a loud belch, actually, right into my ears. Dave was more of a farter, but he wasn’t new to wild, incredible burps. I honestly prefer the more disgusting butt explosion, but I still tip my hat at my bro being a masterful air-bender from both ends.

“Yes, I did hear that.” I said, anticipating his question.

He laughed. “Thank you.” he answered, belching both word with care.

A couples of minutes of silence followed, with just me and Dave occasionally chatting but overall trying to be focused on our respective games. My straight bro was however not done with the “testing”.

“Are you hearing this bro?” he suddenly asked, trying not to laugh.

“No…?” I was puzzled.

“Wait. Let me just…”

I heard Dave removing his headset and as it got farther away from his head, a familiar sound got louder and louder instead, until it became unbearable.

“Are you hearing this now?” he shouted, though I could heard him over that sound.

The sound of yet another loud blast of gas, so loud it was glitching the audio. It was long and proud, dry as some of his best rips, and it just wouldn’t stop. The boss I was fighting somehow felt how distracted I was and one-shotted me with a swipe of his flaming sword but I couldn’t even hear any in-game sound ‘cause my straight gassy bro was basically farting right into my ears, albeit indirectly.

I instinctively reached for the pitched tent between my legs as the fart kept going strong and loud, so loud in fact that I had to lower the volume ‘cause my hears were starting to hurt.

After a grand total of 18 seconds, I once again heard Dave putting his headphones back on his head, wondering whether they were radioactive or melting at this point, due to all that poisonous gas.

“I gotta say… the sound quality is pretty spot-on. What headset are you using?” I joked.

Dave chuckled. “The same as yours actually. Thanks for the advice.”

We kept chatting a bit more as if he wasn’t a gassy teasing bastard but since he *is* a gassy teasing bastard I once again heard him, with no warning nor request from me, removing his headphones again and putting them (I assume) closer to the source of his underwear-clad ass.

Unsurprisingly, yet another manly, loud rip blasted through my own headphones right into my eardrums, renewing the hard-on I had only moments before. It sounded like a motorcycle passing by and I could only imagine how badly the stench was in Dave’s room. Lasting around 11 seconds, this time it got dangerously wet-ish towards the end, which I found hilarious but also made me rightfully worried about my bro maybe going a bit too far even for both of our standards.

“Dude.” I said, laughing a bit “You might want to go easy. That sounded risky.”

Dave, being the chill guy he is, just laughed about it. “Don’t worry, dude. I’m an expert.” and he ripped a short toot that was so loud I could even hear it without the microphone going straight into his butt this time.

We then kept gaming a bit more on our own. Dying over and over to that same boss made me think about how chill Dave was being -as usual- about my kink. I mean don’t get me wrong he always farted a lot while voice chatting but this time it was different, as he was now aware of my fetish. And, as always, I really appreciated that, just as I appreciated yet another thunderous blast, one that actually startled me, making me lose YET AGAIN.

“FUCK!” I blurted.

As the fart kept going, Dave moved the microphone closer to his face (but I still could hear the fart going) just to laugh at my gaming skills, completely aware however that his farts were a huge distraction on its own. He then planted the microphone once again in front of his butt and the blast went loud and proud.

“It’s just too easy.” he then chuckled, after finishing ripping that monstrous fart.

It was. I had to pause the game for a couple of minutes to calm down, the tent between my legs going harder and harder. Was Dave aware of this part as well? Of course he was, but he didn’t care. It was just a game for him, and he was constantly proving me how much of a pro gamer he was.

I hope he never gets nerfed.

End of Episode 11

[theworldbrewery]

what does it mean to play with a high (or low) stat?

fun fact: “commoners” (i.e., your average unskilled random) have a 10 in every ability score.

they are the average of the average. the most middle-of-the-road we can achieve. and they will never reflect your Player Character’s reality.

but they are a great baseline for determining where your characters are outstanding, and where they will struggle.

An average person can lift 50 lbs comfortably, has enough hand-eye coordination to play a decent game of ping-pong against an equally-matched opponent, can fight off most communicable diseases, knows how to read, can tell when they need more information to be able to act, and is able to handle basic social contact when there is no reason for conflict.

***note--I’m using these “averages” to talk about what a non-disabled and neurotypical person will be generally capable of without training or honing a particular skill. Being within 2-3 ability score points of the average doesn’t necessarily require justification, but it might still be fun to explore***

so your barbarian with an 18 in strength isn’t just an outlier, it’s a major difference from what Jane Ordinary can manage on a typical day, and the sweet-talking powers of your 20-charisma sorcerer are going to feel supernatural compared with what the traveling horse salesman is used to. When you’re creating a character, whether that’s an NPC with class levels or a player character, consider why a character’s stats are the way they are.

If they were naturally gifted, is that why they felt called to the class they chose? Did they work hard to be where they are today, and let other abilities fall by the wayside? Did a higher power imbue them with strength, charisma, or wisdom to make a perfect vessel for their plans? Reimagining the reasons behind your statistics can help develop your backstory and even factor into your character arc down the line.

***Another note: be especially self-aware if you’re going to play a neuroatypical, mentally ill, or disabled character and you aren’t yourself a member of the group you’re representing. I love representation but don’t be insensitive---and if anything I mention here comes off as insensitive, let me know and I’ll adjust accordingly!***

STRENGTH: 

At first level, a higher-than-average STR score is going to reflect a lot of training, whether intentional or not. The character may have grown up chopping wood and hauling logs around a woodland village, spent their young adulthood in a mine, or studied with bodybuilders in a remote bodybuilder monastery.

In contrast, a lower-than-average STR score might correspond to a pampered lifestyle, one where the character never needed physical labor to get by; or perhaps they have a disability, such as a bad back, or a chronic illness that leaves their muscles weaker than usual.

DEXTERITY:

A character with a high DEX is flexible and fast. They might have been an acrobat in a circus, flipping around on the trapeze. An urchin whose two options are move fast or get arrested is also likely to be dextrous, as much as a noble who, as a child, often crept around and hid in their family estate to avoid lessons or spy on the adults. They might be from a tree-dwelling community where leaping across platforms is commonplace, or use their dexterity on the rigging of the ship they made their home. A very dextrous person might even have EDS or another condition that makes them hyper-flexible.

A low DEX might, like low STR, match with a disability like arthritis or an old leg injury that never healed properly, or it could align with pressure to behave properly in polite company--never running, climbing, or skulking around. Low DEX could also translate to clumsiness, a fear of taking physical risks, or a tremor that makes Sleight of Hand difficult.

CONSTITUTION:

High CON is a matter of resistance to illness, poison/drugs/alcohol, and general hardiness or stamina. A high CON character might take vitamins and supplements to keep their peak physical condition, do exercises to increase lung capacity or practice running to build endurance. They may take small doses of poison to build up immunity, or maybe they’ve been a low-grade alcoholic for so long their liver is adept at filtering out toxins. They might have done charity marathons to raise money for good causes back home.

Low CON might therefore translate to an arrhythmia or other chronic illnesses such as asthma, POTS, or even severe allergies. The low CON character could have been trapped in a sheltered upbringing that never exposed them to disease or required them to stand and move for hours. Maybe they have never been exposed to drink or drugs and are an incurable lightweight.

INTELLIGENCE:

A high-INT character may have spent years under the tutelage of scholars, worked hard to get into an educational institution, or learned history and magic from the elders of their community with the intent to carry the knowledge into the next generation. They may have autism that helps with information recall, ADHD that leads to hyperfocus on a few specific topics, or another form of neurodiversity.

A low-INT character may have never had the chance to learn from their uneducated family, or be so without a community that no one bothered to teach them. They might have a learning disability, memory problems, or chronic fatigue that causes brain fog.

WISDOM:

A high-WIS character is generally observant, able to assess the intentions of others, clear-headed, and pragmatic--or at least practical. High Wisdom may come from being taught from a young age to pay attention to one’s surroundings, be a part of a community’s religious or ethical worldview, or be a necessary skill developed for survival in a world full of hazards or underhanded strangers. High WIS scores can also derive from anxiety or trauma that make characters more sensitive to information and more likely to observe patterns that otherwise go unnoticed.

Low WIS characters might have very little life experience, or be naive because of the way they’ve been taught to view the world. They might have issues with visual or auditory processing that affect their perception, have low empathy that makes insight a struggle, or experience depression, psychosis, or paranoia that leads to difficulty assessing what is real.

CHARISMA:

High CHA characters may spend months or years mastering the performing arts, honing their ability to lie or stretch the truth, or practicing their most intimidating posture. Or their Charisma may stem from being completely genuine and trustworthy, without any apparent artifice. Characters with sociopathy may know how to turn any social encounter to their advantage, and those with high empathy may be simply likeable. A high-CHA character could be funny, attractive, talented, or have a magnetic personality for any number of reasons, including trying to impress a particular social group or person, a career goal as a comedian or performer, or being raised with rustic hospitality.

A low-CHA character may have trouble with eye contact or even be compulsively unable to lie (or a compulsive liar that’s simply unconvincing); they might have sensory issues that make them sensitive to music or certain vocal timbres, or they might be brusque and businesslike. Low Charisma can stem from a roughshod upbringing, a cultural emphasis on stark honesty even when unsolicited, or a lack of awareness for someone else’s perspective. Even a speech impediment or a trauma that leads to skittishness can read as low-Charisma if you want to play it that way (though it doesn’t have to be).

Sometimes, a character is in the middle-of-the-road but you still want to include one of the options mentioned above. In that case, they could have multiple “conflicting” influences in their background. A character with ADHD might be very good with a specific subject but the ADHD also manifests as memory issues, reflecting a 12 Intelligence score and its ambiguity (and proficiency in specific skills will reflect the specificity of hyperfocus, for instance). 

None of these are hard-and-fast rules. If you want to play a character with chronic pain that doesn’t have a matching low score, that’s also amazing! But if you’re starting from the stats and want to figure out the “in-game justification” for why someone’s abilities are where they are, I hope this little outline helps.

If you like our posts, consider donating to our Ko-Fi @ theworldbrewery. We are saving up for Volo’s Guide to Monsters (and I’m kinda looking forward to trashing Volo’s opinions)

[let-it-raines]

Walking the Baseline (Year 2012)

Chapter Summary: He’s seen her around. Of course he has. They walk in the same circles, play at all of the same combined tournaments, and they have mutual friends. It’s not until they both win the Australian Open and start talking over Instagram that Killian Jones gets to know Emma Swan. He doesn’t expect one message to turn into more, and he certainly doesn’t expect to find himself knowing who Emma is when she’s not got a racket in her hands. 

Even more, he doesn't expect to let her know who he is off the court when that's a secret he holds close to the vest.

Rating: Teen-ish. 

a/n: I told you guys I had more Walking the Baseline coming, and I meant it! I did not expect you guys to be so excited about this universe, but you’re always blowing me away! So, here’s their story for part of the year 2012, four years before the events of Walking the Baseline and the RIO Olympics. 

You do not need to have read the original one-shot to understand. If you haven’t, well, that just means you’ll be surprised with the ending of this collection 😂

Found on AO3: 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 (Part One) | 2016 (Part Two)

-/-

2012.

“You look nice, Swan.”

She’s standing in front of him in a pair of long white paints and a matching white shirt that bares her midriff. Her lips are painted red, her blonde hair long and curled. It’s different to how he usually sees her, but the same can be said for him as he adjusts his jacket sleeves. They spend their lives in athletic wear with sweat an almost constant companion. They do not spend their lives dressed up like this.

“Same to you. How are you not dripping in sweat?”

“Oh, I bloody well am. It’s hidden under the jacket.”

Emma laughs and flips her hair off her neck. “Damn Australian summers. Been trying to kill me since I was eighteen.”

“But now you’re the queen of the court. Congratulations, by the way. That was a damn good match.”

She smiles and adjusts her trophy as he does the same, the flashes of photographers surrounding them and the water behind them. They’ve both done their individual photographs but are now doing promotion for the tournament and Nike, their clothing sponsor. Killian has the beginnings of a long flight today, and Emma has an even longer one to America. He believes she lives in Florida, but it could also be New York. Maybe California. He’ll ask Ariel if she knows, because he already knows she will have the answer to every question he asks. His manager knows everything there is to know about everybody. Somewhere in that brain of hers, Ariel Fisher has a file on Emma Swan that Killian has never bothered to ask about.

It’s not that he’s never been intrigued. She’s a damn good tennis player and a successful one at that. He’s watched her rise to the top of their sport for years now, and while they’ve done a few photo shoots and charity matches together, they’re never talked much outside of a professional capacity. He knows her brother is her coach and she’s close to Ruby Lucas, another player, and he’s read a little about her upbringing. That’s something she keeps close to the vest, but he gets it. He does the same thing. That isn’t the easiest when you’re on the world’s stage like they are. Now, everyone has to know the details of personal lives of athletes, and it makes staying private difficult when you have to brand yourself to get sponsors. Killian would rather run for five hours over doing an interview, especially now that he’s given twenty interviews since the championship last night.

It’s media overload in every way.

“Congratulations to you. I may have slept through half your match, but what I saw was good.”

“Thanks,” Killian laughs, scratching his chin. “I’m terrified that if I sit down, I won’t be able to get back up.”

“Oh, that’s definitely a risk. David had to slide me out of the bed this morning. I’m only wearing this because I was too lazy to shave. I was pretty sure I’d have to have help.”

He bites his tongue to keep from making the comment he wants to make and turns back to the camera, smiling and nodding, following the rest of the instructions. He and Emma are quickly pulled in different directions to finish out their obligations, and before he knows it, he’s on a plane, flying away from Australia. It’s been a month since he’s been home, and Oxshott has never seemed so good even if there is no one at home waiting to greet him.

-/-

Killian grabs a sweater from the shelf, pulling it over his shoulders, and heads downstairs where he fixes himself a cup of tea and settles on his couch, his television playing in the background. It’s been a long day. His first day back training after a week break nearly killed his knees, but that’s over now. He’s put in his time on the court and at the gym, and no one is going to bother him for the rest of the day. He’s muted Ariel’s name in his phone, and if she really needs him, she’ll call him from Eric’s phone.

God does he hope she doesn’t need him tonight.

Nemo better not either because Killian does not want to see his coach’s face again until early tomorrow morning.

Despite his sweater, he’s still chilled. Going from an Australian summer to a British winter is quite the adjustment. It’s nearly as bad as the jetlag.

Killian’s phone dings in his hand, and he dreads what message he’s surely gotten. He expects it to be Ariel from Eric’s phone, but it’s an Instagram message.

@EmmaSwan: Whoever said @KillianJones was photogenic needs to take a serious look at these photos.

He looks at the photographs, and it’s a series of horribly awkward faces he’s made. He remembers this moment of the shoot. A bug kept trying to fly into his mouth, and at one point, it succeeded. Emma looks great in them, laughing with a bright smile, and she’s right: there’s no part of him that’s photogenic there.

@KillianJones: So you’re saying there are people out there who think I’m photogenic?

Her reply comes instantly.

@EmmaSwan: Well, there were! ;)

Killian laughs and then clicks on her profile, scrolling through. She has several pictures from her win, a few training videos, but mostly it’s pictures of her with some of the women she’s friends with on tour or her brother and sister-in-law. His page is so different in that it’s made up of a majority of tennis photos. He doesn’t share much about his personal life there because there isn’t much to share lately, and when there was, he didn’t want the world to know who he was dating. They did, of course. There were few ways to hide it all when he had photographers literally hiding in bushes, but he imagines if it was a relationship he truly held sacred, he would find a way to keep it hidden away.

Milah was the last person he would have wanted that with, but she was a fan of the attention. She still is if what he sees around is any indication. She married some older man who is worth millions, but other than that, Killian tries not to keep up with her. Some days it goes better than others, but being disconnected from the world does help.

Social media definitely doesn’t.

And after looking at Emma’s profile a little more carefully, he realizes her profile is more private than he thought. In some way, every photo that has a person in it relates back to tennis.

Killian exits out of the app and goes to the link Ariel sent him of all the photos from his shoot with Emma. He clicks on it and tries to find one where she looks bad. It takes awhile, damn gorgeous woman, but he eventually finds one where the wind blew her hair in front of her and she’s making an awful face. It’s perfect, and Killian quickly saves it and a nicer photo to his phone before uploading them to Instagram.

@KillianJones: @EmmaSwan, if only your serve was as big as your hair.

@EmmaSwan direct messaged you.

@EmmaSwan: My serve stats are better than your serve stats.

@KillianJones: Lies.

@EmmaSwan: Okay, well, my hair is also better than your hair.

@KillianJones: Eh, I wouldn’t say that either.

@EmmaSwan: My ass is better than your ass.

@KillianJones: Now, I will fully agree with that.

@EmmaSwan: Isn’t it, like, midnight in England? What are you doing up, old man?

@KillianJones: Watching TV and having a cuppa. Truly exciting times here.

@EmmaSwan has added a picture to this chat.

It’s a shot of her legs, her feet resting on the court. There’s a pool of sweat underneath her, and he is not jealous. It’s February, and while he knows she lives in south Florida – he did ask Ariel – it shouldn’t be warm enough for anyone to sweat that much unless they put in a massive amount of effort.

He must be getting old for this game if just thinking about that makes him want to retire, but there’s no way in hell that’s happening anytime soon. He told Liam he would play until he no longer had a passion for the game.

That hasn’t happened yet.

@EmmaSwan: I’m making my mark on this court. I cannot wait to be in my pajamas watching TV tonight. If I can get up from this chair.

@KillianJones: I’m sure you can slide home in that lovely pool of sweat.

@EmmaSwan: Honestly, I have thought about it.

@EmmaSwan: I’ve got to practice my shitty serve, but I’ll think of smacking your face every time I do it. I’m sure my numbers will be higher than ever.

@KillianJones: Anything I can do to help.

-/-

“How do you eat your strawberries?”

“With my fingers,” Killian says, arching his brow at such a ridiculous question.

“You’re supposed to say with cream.”

Killian spins around behind him, and he immediately sees Emma Swan walking toward him. He hasn’t seen her in months as the tours haven’t had a joint tournament since Australia, but they’ve been chatting pretty regularly over Instagram. He’s never liked the app, but it’s one of his most used ones now.

“Excuse me, lass?”

“You’re doing a promotion for Wimbledon, idiot. They want all of us to say we eat our strawberries with cream.”

“I actually don’t love the cream.”

Emma mock gasps, covering her chest with her hands, before stepping up to him and giving him a quick hug he’s sure is for the cameras surrounding them. “Well, they should kick you out of England for saying something like that.”

“Believe me, they’ve tried, but I chained myself to the ground to keep it from happening.”

“I’m sure we could find you a place here if we had to.”

“Your place?” Killian jokes.

“In your dreams, Jones.” Emma widens her smile before turning to the camera. “I’d eat my strawberries with cream, just in case you want to use me for the promotions instead of this shameful excuse for a Brit.”

“Actually,” the producer behind the camera says, “we have a game that we’d love for the two of you to play together if you want. We usually don’t have two of the bigger names up here at once.”

“What’s the game?” Emma asks.

“It’s basically beer pong.”

Emma tilts her head back with laughter and claps her hands together. “Oh, I’m good at this. You’re going down, Jones.”

“Nice to see your competitive spirit doesn’t die off the court.”

“It never does.”

Emma shrugs and walks over to where they have a ping pong table set up on the roof of this building. Killian gets to travel a lot of beautiful places for his job, and while he doesn’t get to explore a lot of them, he does get to take in the view. He’ll never get over the oasis that is Palm Springs with its mountains going as far as the eye can see with palm trees and lush vegetation filling in so many other gaps. There’s a hell of a lot of desert, but considering Killian only goes between the tournament and his hotel, he doesn’t see that. For him, it’s all about the oasis.

“You ready?” Emma asks as they settle at opposite ends of the table. “It’s going to be a challenge to beat me.”

He winks and leans forward, hovering over the cups of water. “I do so love a challenge.”

-/-

“I mean, I wouldn’t say that you had a bad reputation.”

Killian rolls his eyes and toes his trainers off, kicking them across his hotel room in Monte Carlo. He pulls his phone away from his ear and puts it on speaker so he can change clothes while Emma talks.

“Then what would you say, love?”

He imagines she shrugs, and if he wasn’t disgustingly sweaty despite his shower at the club, he’d video call her instead of this. “I would say you had a colorful reputation.”

“For fuck’s sake, that’s the same thing.”

“No, no, it’s not,” Emma sighs. “It’s…”

“Swan, I was on the verge of getting all my sponsorships taken away at the age of twenty-two. I’d barely gotten started, and I nearly fucked it all up by drinking too much and being enough of an idiot to do it in public.”

“And now you’re England’s poster boy for all sports, so at least from a publicity standpoint, it’s all okay.”

She’s right. He knows she’s right, and he appreciates being talked down after an awful contract negotiation with one of his sponsors and what will surely be an equally awful conversation with Ariel later. They decided that they suddenly had issues with some shit he pulled six years ago, and he’s tired of having to explain himself to people.

His fucking brother died, and Killian didn’t handle it well. How is anyone supposed to handle that, let alone a twenty-two-year-old whose only family was that brother? It was too much, and while he didn’t tank his career, he did derail it, drinking and sleeping around and making horrible choices for his body. There are times when he still wants to do that, but he knows better now. His grief is private, and the world will never see it again unless it’s on his terms.

“My brother’s life was taken because of a drunk driver, and, you know, I’d give up all the sponsorships to have him back. I’d give it all up. And I know I did a piss poor job at dealing with my grief by getting drunk just like the man who killed him, even if I never got behind the wheel, but what was I supposed to do? It hurt too much to not be dulled.”

The other end is silent, and he focuses on his own breathing. It’s heavy now, and he can feel his heart thumping. He hates this feeling. He hates talking about his past, and he damn well hates having to talk about Liam like this.

He’s got no fucking clue why he’s talking about it with Emma, but she called right after the meeting and he spilled his guts out of frustration.

“I never met your brother,” Emma says so quietly he can barely hear her, “but if he was anything like mine, I can guarantee that he’d be proud of you for getting through it and continuing to move forward. Life sucks, Jones, and we all deal with those sucky moments in different ways. I, for one, eat massive amounts of icing and candy. I have an entire stash in a drawer in my bathroom so David can’t find it and scold me for it.”

Killian huffs and reaches up to yank his shirt off before falling back on the bed. He tugs on his hair before blowing it off his cheek. He needs a haircut.

“You keep icing in your bathroom? That seems unsanitary.”

“I promise it’s very secure.”

Killian hums and more silence falls between them. He doesn’t feel the need to fill it, but he does anyway. “I live alone, so I think I may not need to hide my icing stash. I’d have to get one first.”

“Cream cheese is the way to go. It’s, like, two dollars and all the calories are so worth it.”

“Have you ever considered making it at home?”

“I would give myself food poisoning. I can’t really cook.”

“No?”

“Absolutely not. Never learned how to do anything past the basics, and I’m not home enough to try. When I do, Mary Margaret always takes over so I don’t get food poisoning.”

“Where are we together next? Rome?”

“Madrid,” Emma sighs, and he hears a dog bark in the background. He’s sure she doesn’t have a dog, but maybe someone she’s with has one. Or she’s walking around her neighborhood. He never did ask what she was doing. Instead, he immediately started bitching about his sponsor meeting, and then they ended up here. Most of their conversations veer off track, so it’s nothing he isn’t used to. “I get there Monday.”

“I think the same unless I lose early here.”

“You best not. I have money on you.”

“Well, that’s a good way to get yourself suspended.”

Emma laughs, and Killian stretches out on the bed, flexing his feet. “Well, if you don’t tell anyone, I think I’ll be okay.”

“I swear I shall not say a word. Also, Swan, I don’t think we’ll have access to a kitchen in Madrid, but when we get to Rome, I’ll cook you something.”

“If I’m in Rome, I’m not wasting a dinner on your cooking.”

“We can eat two dinners then,” Killian suggests.

“I like that idea.” The dog barks again in the background, louder this time. “I have to go. My neighbor’s dog is walking over this way, and I have to give him my full attention.”

“Bye, love.”

“Talk to you later, Jones!”

The phone goes silent, and Killian closes his eyes. It’s been a rough day for a myriad of reasons, and all he wants is to sleep. His call with Emma has calmed him, as they usually do, but that’s something he often doesn’t like admitting to himself.

Getting involved with Emma would be complicated, and Killian isn’t sure he can do complicated anymore.

His phone buzzes, and he opens one eye to look at the message.

Ariel Fisher: I’m coming to talk to you because you stormed off.

Ariel Fisher: I have the key to your room, so make sure you’re dressed.

Ariel Fisher: I’m bringing dinner, so I know you at least kind of want to see me.

Killian Jones: I’m in the nude, and I’m not changing for you.

Ariel Fisher: It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.

Killian Jones: That is your fault for walking into my bathroom without knocking.

-/-

Killian wins in Monte Carlo, and it feels good to have a trophy for the first time since late January. It’s only April now, and he’s only played three tournaments since Australia. Yet, he had higher expectations for himself for this year. It’s a great year by anyone’s standards, but Killian has really focused on his training this year. He wants another record year like two years ago, and if he keeps this momentum going, maybe he can do that.

That year, he’d worked off the motivation of heartbreak. This year, he’s trying to work off the motivation of doing something for himself.

Whatever keeps him in the game.

Whatever keeps him loving what he does like Liam asked him to do.

-/-

The thing about Killian’s job is that he’s constantly surrounded by bloody people. From when he’s playing a match to doing press to sitting in the living room of the houses and apartments he rents for some tournaments when he doesn’t want to stay in a hotel. Sometimes the only times he has to think are when he’s on court, which is ridiculous because that’s when he’s surrounded by the most people and is supposed to be focusing on his plan for the next point.

Tonight, Killian had planned on having Emma over for dinner, but Ariel, Eric, Will, and Rob have all shown up and are sitting on his couch watching the television and he’s desperately trying to get Emma to pick up her phone before she arrives. He’s sure Nemo and Al could show up any second by the way things are going.

“Hello?”

“Swan!”

“Hey, I was just about to get a car from the hotel to your place. Everything okay?”

Killian sighs and massages his fingers over his forehead. “It seems my team and my mates have decided they’re spending the night with me, so if you want to stay at the hotel, I would understand.”

“Oh?”

“Aye. Of course, you can still come if you want.”

“Is there still going to be food?”

“Absolutely, but I don’t think I’ll be cooking it.”

“Then I’m coming,” Emma laughs. “Would you mind if I brought some people over as well? I can pay for their dinners.”

“The more the merrier,” Killian says, even if that is not how he intended his night to go. “See you soon, love.”

Killian walks back to the living area and settles down in an armchair, bracing himself for the onslaught of questions he’s about to get. “Emma Swan is coming over for dinner. She’s bringing people with her. I don’t know who yet, but I know she is.”

Slowly, everyone turns and stares at him, and Killian is already dreading everything about tonight.

“Why the fuck is Emma Swan coming over?” Will asks as everyone else nods. “I didn’t even know you knew her.”

“How would I not know her?”

“Oi, you know what I meant! You know her, but you know her in a way that has you say hello in the hallways, not that you invite her and her mates over to take our food.”

“You were not invited here tonight, Scarlet.”

“I am always invited.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Ariel sighs, holding her hands up between them. “I need more of an explanation. How did this come about? Are you dating Em – ”

“No, A. Bloody hell, no.” Killian stands from the chair and straightens out his t-shirt. “We got to talking about food one day, and I casually invited her over. Believe it or not, I can have other mates besides you lot.”

“Your personality says otherwise,” Rob teases, and Killian rolls his eyes.

“Alright, alright. What should we get delivered for dinner? A little bit of everything?”

“I still have so many questions,” Ariel tells him.

“I have no more answers. I’m going to order food. You guys can keep watching the match.”

“Isn’t this who you play tomorrow?” Rob asks.

“Mhm, but Nemo will take enough notes and give them to me, so I don’t have to watch the match too closely.”

Killian walks away from the living room and goes through the contacts in his phone for the restaurants he likes, and once he settles on one, he orders several meals for delivery, chatting with the owner and promising her he’ll be in to see the entire team before he leaves Rome.

There’s a knock on the door, and Killian glances out the kitchen window. He can see Emma, Emma’s brother, and her sister-in-law. He was expecting Ruby Lucas and Anna Jergenson, but he shouldn’t be surprised. Her family is nearly always with her.

Ariel gets to the door before he does, hugging and greeting everyone. She knows David and Mary Margaret from constantly working with Mary Margaret over management collaborations, and while this is a large industry, there is always going to be overlap amongst certain people.

“David, nice to see you,” Killian says, walking into the room and taking David’s hand before kissing Mary Margaret’s cheeks. “Mary Margaret, beautiful as ever. Hey, Swan.”

“What? Am I not as beautiful as ever?” she jokes as she embraces him. “I got all dressed up for this. I’m wearing leggings that don’t have any holes in them.”

“I thank you for your effort.” He pulls back and winks. “I’m sorry for the slight change of plans, but I guess I’ll give you food poisoning another day.”

“Can’t wait.”

Killian guides them into the living room, where it’s a mess of greetings and jumbled conversation, and Killian settles himself back in the chair in the corner, watching everyone talk. They’re in the middle of one of the busiest stretches of the season, and it’s nice to have a night where he can relax. He has a match tomorrow and possibly even more depending on how tomorrow goes, but he tries to forget about those. That’s something Killian is still working on. Liam was the one who usually made him forget, and while his mates, many of them under the same pressures, do a damn good job, there are rarely times when his mind doesn’t race with the possibilities of how everything good in his life can slip away.

Killian rents this house in Rome every year because it was Liam’s favorite, so this week is always a particularly difficult one when everything reminds him of his brother.

When the food arrives, Killian spreads it around the kitchen and gets out a few bottles of wine. He won’t drink tonight, but others might want to. They fill their plates and settle back in the living room, the match that was at the forefront now in the background as Rob and Will take the piss out of each other for how badly the mangled the Italian language while asking for directions earlier today.

“I didn’t grow up speaking two languages! I’m still learning!” Will grumbles.

“You trained in Italy for most of your childhood.”

“I have no excuses for Italian, I know. I do speak French pretty well.”

“Oi, and none of us have to wonder why that is,” Rob laughs.

“You’re all wankers.”

“Why does Will know French?” Emma asks him from her seat next to him.

“His girlfriend is from France.”

“Ah,” Emma sighs, picking up a piece of ravioli and putting it in her mouth. “This is delicious. Much better than whatever it was you were planning on cooking.”

“I’m going to prove you wrong one day.”

She shrugs and puts her plate down on the coffee table next to her glass of wine. “If you say so. Where’s the restroom?”

Killian points to the hallway behind the kitchen. “Second door on the right.”

Emma nods and stands from her seat, walking away toward the bathroom. He gets a notification on his watch that he’s got a text from Nemo, and it looks like a long one. Sighing, Killian moves away from the conversation and down the hall to his bedroom so he can text Nemo back. It’s an analysis of his opponent for tomorrow, and Killian skims through it. He’ll read it more in the morning since his match isn’t until the afternoon, but if he doesn’t text Nemo back now, he’ll call until Killian does. The man is a damn good coach, but he can also be high-strung.

The bedroom door clicks behind Killian as he closes it, and at the same time, Emma leaves the bathroom. The two of them are nearly pressed together in the close quarters of the hallway, and Killian aligns himself against one wall while Emma does the same with the other. Still, he can feel her foot brush against his, and he is close enough to see the freckles on her face.

Those freckles are what have himself tilting closer, his breath intertwining with hers, and for every movement he makes, Emma makes an equal one, the voices in the background fading away as Killian focuses on the flutter of Emma’s lashes and the subtle twitch of her lips. He mirrors her, curling up one corner of his mouth and teasingly tapping his lips.

“Please,” she laughs, “you couldn’t handle it.”

“Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it.”

Emma studies him as heat swirls around them and tickles up his spine, pulling him closer to her. He watches her, waiting to see if she’ll do something, but he expects her to make a joke, to turn away like she sometimes does when things get a little too serious between them when they’re talking in person instead of over the phone. She doesn’t always do that, not when he’s the one sharing, but when it comes to her, she’s more guarded, holding everything deep within.

Emma Swan is constantly subverting expectations, however, so when she pulls on the collar of his shirt and tugs his mouth to hers, he takes a moment to reciprocate.

Bloody fucking hell.

Emma is kissing him.

And she’s damn good at it too. Killian reaches up to thread his fingers through her hair, pulling and tugging until he can take a little of the control back from her. She’s a demanding one, and while he can’t say he minds, he would like a little control too. Her lips are soft, and she tastes of wine and the spices of her ravioli. He could get lost in it all, especially when she moans in response to him backing her up against the wall. Her back arches, and Killian rolls his hips as Emma’s kiss teases him. The friction is fucking amazing, and it would be so easy to take a few steps to the right to his bedroom and…

Suddenly, Emma pulls back, lingering in his space, breath hot against his skin, and Killian can feel a smile tugging at his kiss swollen lips.

“That was – ” Killian mutters, leaning in to kiss her again.

“A one-time thing,” Emma quickly tells him, shoving at his chest until he backs away, a mountain of space between them. “I’m going to go back to the living room. Actually, I think I need to go home. I have an early training session tomorrow.”

“Swan – ”

“Thank you for dinner. It was great.”

Then she’s gone, blonde hair falling away, and Killian can’t move from his spot, standing there with his fingers against his lips. He listens to her tell David and Mary Margaret she’s ready to go, listens to her telling everyone goodbye, and then she’s gone, the front door shutting behind her.

What the hell just happened.

And when did he fall halfway in love with Emma Swan?

Fuck.

“What happened to your hair?” Ariel asks when Killian gets the strength in his legs to walk back to the living room.

“Nemo,” he lies. “His analysis for tomorrow had me tugging on it.”

Ariel studies him like she doesn’t believe him, but then she’s back to drinking her wine and talking to Eric, her life going on as normal even when his isn’t.

-/-

He gets blown out of the water in his match the next day.

He can’t compartmentalize his thoughts, putting the personal behind him and the professional in front of him. That’s been the key to all of his success. No matter what’s going on in his personal life, he can always lace up his trainers and take the court, leaving all of that behind him.

Today, it’s like everything that’s happened to him in the past decade has come flooding back, and Killian wants nothing more than the floodgates to stop.

-/-

Emma doesn’t respond to any of his texts.

He pretends it doesn’t bother him as his team leaves Rome and flies to Paris, immediately preparing for Roland Garros. Killian can fuck around at other tournaments on occasion, but he can’t do it at a major. There are only a handful of those to go around, the importance of them will never be lost on him.

Even if sliding across the clay is the last thing he wants to do right now.

“Smaller steps,” Nemo yells from his place on the sidelines. “You’re going to fuck up your ankle if you run like that.”

Killian adjusts his footwork and keeps moving, sweat slicking down his back as the crowds around the practice courts fill in while more players keep showing up. When he sees long blonde hair in her trademark braid three courts over, his step nearly falters.

It doesn’t.

He can’t.

If Emma is going to put distance between the two of them, he’ll let her. He had a life long before he began talking to Emma Swan, and he’ll have one if she never talks to him again.

He’s a liar if he says that his world would be anything other than miserable for awhile.

-/-

Killian crashes out in the quarterfinals of Roland Garros, and he immediately puts it behind him, bracing his shoulders for a month of grass court tournaments in his own country, where the pressure is always highest.

Sometimes it can be suffocating, but he has to do it.

-/-

“Okay, now that you’ve answered all of our questions, we want to show you a little video clip,” Chris McKendry tells him while Killian adjusts the mic resting on his ear.

“It’s never good when you tell me that, Chris.”

She laughs, as fake as always, but Killian goes along with it. “I promise you’ll enjoy this one.”

A producer for ESPN hits play on the video, and Killian keeps his eyes glued to the screen even as someone slides several bowls of strawberries and cream in front of him. The video of he and Emma from California plays on the screen, all of the promotional work the two of them did that day after she took the piss out of him for his answer to how he ate strawberries and cream. Killian forces a smile on his face, not allowing the cameras to see him slip, because this is what he does now. He’s a perfectly polished PR machine. If he’s going to show emotions other than happiness, they’re going to be either on the court or behind the scenes with no cameras rolling. They are certainly not going to be here.

“So, Killian,” Chris laughs as the video rolls, “we thought it would be fun to bring you some strawberries and cream with a spoon to eat them.”

Killian chuckles and takes the spoon, scooping up a large helping of the strawberries and cream and eating it. It’s not bad. He doesn’t like it, but it’s not the worst thing he’s ever had to eat because someone has asked him to. And the faster he plays along, the faster he can get out of here.

“I think I’ve got it right now,” he jokes, “though I know my last answer went viral because I failed all of Britain with it.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that, but we are giving you this chance to redeem yourself so you can have this crowd behind you for the fortnight. With your draw, I think you might need it.”

“Draws don’t always hold up, but nevertheless Chris, I’m ready for the challenge.”

“You always are.”

-/-

She’s fucking incredible to watch.

She moves with grace but with incredible power underneath her feet and determination set between her brows. Her play gets better with every match she plays, and Killian is mesmerized by it even if he’s been avoiding her matches over the past few weeks. But now she’s on Centre Court, and her match is playing on the screen above his bike where he’s cooling down from his match. There is no avoiding it, and he can’t say he wants to at the minute. He’s obviously a glutton for punishment.

He’s seen her draw, knows that it’s just as difficult as his, and while she might not win here, the Olympics are just around the corner on these same courts. He can’t imagine her not winning at least one of the two.

Then again, he is aware of his bias, but he is also aware of Emma’s skill.

Killian grabs his phone and takes a picture of her match, posting it on his Twitter, which Ariel has told him he has to use more since he “needs to interact with people online.”

@KillianJones: She’s graceful like a swan but also just as vicious. What a match to watch on my cool down. @Emmaswan is the type of player every kid should try to emulate when they pick up a racket

It’s an olive branch.

If she doesn’t take it, Killian will be fine. He may have fallen hard and fast, but that doesn’t mean Emma did. She is free to take things at her own pace, whatever that may mean for the two of them.

-/-

@emmaswan mentioned you in a tweet.

Killian swipes across his screen and opens Twitter, where he sees a picture of yesterday’s match. It’s from high above in what is obviously a private room, but it’s still clearly him on court, pumping his fist after a big point, the crowd standing all around.

@EmmaSwan: @KillianJones, I don’t think any of these people like you. You should try to get them on your side.

He laughs and falls back on his couch. He’s not well liked in a lot of places, but in his home country, he knows that as long as he’s winning, he has the country behind him.

No pressure.

@KillianJones: @EmmaSwan maybe you could help me out. How do I get the crowd to like me?

@EmmaSwan: @KillianJones cook them a home-cooked meal. It’s the way to everyone’s heart.

Killian nearly drops his phone. She’s joking. She has to be. This is the first time he’s so much as talked to Emma in weeks, and she either doesn’t realize the magnitude of her words or is sending him a clear message.

Emma has never cared much for subtly.

He closes out of Twitter and texts her, hoping he’s not fucking up the olive branch she took by snapping it in half.

Killian Jones: I’m making salmon tonight. It’s just me here tonight. I promise. Do you want to come over for dinner?

Emma Swan: How good is your salmon?

Killian Jones: It’s good.

Emma Swan: I’ll be there.

-/-

Emma Swan walks into his home like she belongs there. She steps inside his front door, removes her trainers, and easily walks to him in the kitchen, propping her hip against the counter while he prepares dinner. They talk, mostly about work, and Killian tries to act as unaffected by her presence as possible. The last time they were this close to each other, he had Emma pressed up against a wall. It’s been over a month since then with very little communication, and Killian constantly feels like a bucket of ice has been dropped over him.

He still doesn’t believe she’s here when he is clearly having a conversation with her.

They eat dinner on his couch, the television turned low in the background, and the conversation stays stilted. If Killian is honest, he wants to sink into the cushions and have this night be over with, but he knows better. Either this night firmly cuts the ties between them, or it ties the string back together.

He knows which one he wants, but he dare not speak for Emma.

“This is really good,” Emma says as she scoops up some of her remaining salad. “Thanks for cooking.”

“Thanks for coming over.”

“It’s a really nice place. I bet it must be nice to be able to stay home for a month while still working.”

“Yeah, it is.” Silence falls between them again, but it’s not comfortable, not like it used to be. “Look, Swan, I – ”

She holds up her hands and places the plate in front of her on his coffee table before twisting around and crossing her legs under her on the couch. “Don’t.”

“Pardon?”

“Don’t say it. Don’t apologize for doing something wrong when I’m the one who made out with you and then ran away. I fucked things up between us, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Do you want to fix it?” he suggests, knowing the line he walks is thin.

Emma shrugs, sheepish smile on her lips. “I don’t know. I don’t – I mean, I like…you’re…we’re…I don’t know, Killian. I am obviously not the most emotionally aware person, but I care. I care about my family, my friends…you. I care about you. Like, a lot, which was unexpected.” She leans forward and buries her face in her hands, all of her words coming out muffled. “I don’t know how I can do this without messing things up between us where we’ll be avoiding each other while having to walk the same circles.”

Killian arches his brow and stifles his laugh. He shouldn’t be laughing. This isn’t funny, but there is something comical about it.

“What I’m hearing is that you fancy me.”

Emma peeks out from behind her hands, and she glowers at him. “Seriously?”

Killian shrugs and leans forward, grabbing her hands and slowly intertwining their fingers. “I have no bloody idea what I’m doing either, and I don’t mean to upset you Emma. I really don’t. But we make quite the team. I think it would be foolish not to try, but I’ll do whatever you want.”

“That’s really fucking unfair to make me make the decision.”

“If I did, you would find a way to turn it around on me.”

She digs her nails into his palm, but he doesn’t flinch. “Asshole.”

“I would agree with that assessment most of the time.”

Emma rolls her eyes, but there’s also determination there, green, blue, and gold all mixed together to create the emotions hidden just below the surface. “We don’t tell anyone. Like, no one. I don’t like my private life to be public, and if we tell other people, it’ll become public. I’m already risking a hell of a lot possibly being with someone who I’ll have to see on tour if things get fucked up, so I want a safety net even if this doesn’t solve every issue.”

“You’re a romantic.” She parts her lips to protest, and he squeezes her hands, leaning forward and lingering in her space, closing half the gap. “But I agree with you, wholeheartedly. I was with this woman, and – ”

“We don’t have to talk about our pasts right now. I’ve got a match at one tomorrow, so we sure as hell don’t have time to get through everything. I’m also not entirely sure I trust you with everything yet.”

“You shouldn’t,” Killian half jokes as his lips ghost over hers, “but I hope to earn it.”

“Good,” Emma whispers, wrapping her arms around Killian’s neck and pulling him those final few inches toward her until her lips are softly gliding over his, pulling him under as pleasure trickles up his spine.

Good. This is all damn good.

They have no idea what they’re getting into, but Killian can’t wait to figure it all out.

-/-

-/-

tag list (you can be added/removed at any time: @qualitycoffeethings​ @mrtinski​ @klynn-stormz​ @scarletslippers​ @jonirobinson64​ @snowbellewells​ @therealstartraveller776​ @thejollyroger-writer​ @sherifemma​ @galaxyzxstark​ @galadriel26​ @idristardis​ @karenfrommisthaven​ @teamhook​ @spartanguard​ @searchingwardrobes​ @jamif​ @shireness-says​ @ultimiflos​ @nikkiemms​ @onepunintendid​ @bluewildcatfanatic​ @superchocovian​ @killianswannn​ @carpedzem​ @captainkillianswanjones​ @mayquita​ @mariakov81​ @jennjenn615​ @onceuponaprincessworld​ @a-faekindagirl​ @scientificapricot​ @xellewoods​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @stahlop​ @kmomof4​ @tiganasummertree​ @singersdd​ @tornadoamy​ @cluttermind​ @lfh1226-linda​ @itsfabianadocarmo​ @iam2307​ @capthamm​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​ @kktabjones​ @jonesfandomfanatic​ @ouatxxxxx​

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E86 (Nov. 26, 2019)

And we’re off! Tonight’s guests are the long-awaited Ashley Johnson and Matt Mercer! “Tonight, Ashley’s back, Ashley’s back, and Ashley’s back... we’ll break it all down tonight with my guest, Ashley.”

Announcements: Pretty new dice and pinup calendar now in the store! The recording of the Austin live show (The Adventures of the Darrington Brigade!) will be streaming on Twitch on Friday at 7 PM Pacific, and the VOD will be available on YouTube on Sunday! The fundraising campaign with OSD is still live! There will be no episode of Critical Role this week and no episode of Talks Machina next week because of the holiday.

Even a brief Meat Loaf digression can’t stop us, so it’s time for...

Episode 86: The Cathedral

Stats for this week’s episode: Yasha was under Obann’s control for 59 days. Obann is Yasha’s 14th HDYWTDT. Caleb set the campaign record for most damage dealt in a single turn: 449 damage. Matt rolled his 120th Natural 20 this campaign against Cad’s Blight spell on the caedogeist.

While Ashley was away, there were a few different paths that could’ve dictated how things would’ve gone while she was away: being under Obann’s sway meant she mostly got updates from Matt about what was happening, and Ashley would give her reactions to those experiences (Matt references the Purple Man in Jessica Jones for how twisted her perception was). Ashley: “Matt gave me a breakdown of things that have been happening in our world, Obann and the caedogeist and the Laughing Hand and Yasha. It’s heavy, but I feel like it really was the best way to leave the campaign, it felt a little bit more organic than even the last time, with Pike.” Matt and Ashley both emphasize that there’s a connection between Obann and Yasha pre-campaign.

Matt knew from the beginning that there would be a Tharizdun-based narrative, but he let the tie-ins to this particular story evolve naturally. “I knew there would be an aspect of Tharizdun essentially catfishing a bunch of other cults.”

How aware was Yasha of what she was doing? “I believe she was fully aware, just no control of her body or the things that she was doing.” But having Obann as her only companion for so long was definitely a factor. Matt: “It wasn’t like he took control of you and was like, do my bidding. He was very, trying to talk her up. ‘You’re chosen for a reason, you’re special, you’re one of the harbingers chosen for the angel...’ It’s a very fucked-up relationship.”

Based on who the group spoke to in Zadash, they could’ve had some help from the Gentleman, Dolan, the High Richter... but things happened to throw down in Pumat’s shop. “You know, he’s already been pulled into this fray a bit. I already have the minis painted...” Dani points out that his presence brought some much-needed levity. Until the end of the episode, at least...

Whose reactions are Yasha most worried about? Beau, after the way the fight went. “That was one of the most stressful moments I’ve ever had in a game.” Ashley texted Brian in the middle of the game: “If I’d killed Beau I’d have just killed myself.” Especially after what happened with her wife, and all the lives she’s taken, that would have been the last straw. She’s also aware that there’s tension with Fjord. “I think even before there was some distrust that Fjord had with Yasha a bit. But I think still with everybody, it’s knowing what she’s done at this point, and just playing against them and fighting them. She’ll deal with the weight of that for a while, and just be like, how can I make it up to you?” Ashley does want to find a way to turn it around to make Yasha a little bit happy in there. “I was just like, oh, I’ve made something very sad!”

The dispel wasn’t a sure thing by any means. “I had set it as a fifth-level domination effect for the purposes of dispelling. There was a chance that they were going to succeed and destroy the shackle and continue on to wherever the next one would be, in which case Yasha would carry on with them.” In that case, Ashley could’ve played an ancillary character in the meantime. Even if Obann had been killed, that connection would’ve remained, but his fear at the end of his life was the Chained Oblivion’s punishment awaiting: the removal of his fiendish form.

Cosplay of the Week! Ashley sings a new theme song: “Sew it all together! (deadpan) Take a picture.” This week’s winner was an amazing Vax, WittyWyndi on Twitter!

“I think, of course, being herself again and being in control of all of her actions, I think there is an element of wanting to run because you’re not wanting to deal with the problems, but I think she’s been doing it for so long... I think she’s very afraid to be alone. And that was one of the things that kept coming up in all the games and things Matt was telling me. Man, if I think about the future of this character, and if she comes out of this, what would you feel, being under someone’s influence and then being around your family? I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to be alone.” Brian: “Isolation is an incubator that turns mistakes into habits.” Ashley: “I feel like I relate to that, because as a hermit and a very introverted person, I feel like my go-to is to run away or say I’m not going to deal with this. So maybe that’s a little therapy in the game, can I sit in this and still be with people who are upset with me? Obviously it’s being in a community and dealing with people, that’s a much better way than to deal with something alone. I’m going to try to tackle that in the game and see. Who knows, she might freak out and just run.”

Ashley, on coming back to the west coast for good: “I feel like I’ve been away at sea.” Brian: “Yeah, NBC.”

Gods are more present in this campaign only because there are much more deity-connected characters. Matt tries to avoid too much divine influence in his campaigns to make sure players still have the majority of the agency and don’t tend to use it as a get-out-of-jail-free card. 

Comcast is installing fiber in my neighborhood and brief service outages may occur. This fun fact brought to you by the little spinning wheel that just interrupted Matt for a minute. Thanks, Comcast.

More gods in a campaign means more complications on Matt’s end. “There are a lot of deities in the Pantheon, and there are lesser idols in the world, entities that aren’t gods per se but that hold elements of some divine power. Playing in that space is fun, but I don’t want to overcrowd it necessarily.”

On getting the kill on Obann: “It was just so exciting to come back to the table, and you love the HDYWTDT moment from Matt, but I think for Yasha there’s a lot of weirdness to it. Just because you kill the thing that has been torturing you doesn’t mean you’re free from that trauma. I don’t think she’s satisfied yet.” But it was super satisfying for Ashley as a player!

There was a part of Matt that wanted Obann to survive a little longer, because there was “more shit he could do.” If he’d managed to get four people into place, it would’ve immediately started the ritual, those four would have been paralyzed and their AC would have been dramatically boosted, and the M9 would have had one round to try to stop it by killing one of the people in the square before everyone involved in the ritual would have been instantly killed. Brian: “You’re a sick and twisted and terrible man and I want to kiss you.”

Fan Art of the Week: an amazing Yasha in the cathedral by Neverdraws on Twitter!

If the party had revealed who Obann was really working for (he was unaware up until the very end), that was potentially a different direction things could have gone. Ashley: “Yasha doesn’t know yet.” Matt: “The only thing Yasha knows about the Angel of Irons is what it did to Obann.”

Ashley asked Matt whether Yasha would know whether the other members of the party were controlled, and Matt had her roll to see what she picked up on. Matt: “It may come out in the game.”

The description of the new breastplate was just to emphasize that Obann had kitted her out to help her be a stronger ally for him. Whether she keeps it is up to her.

Which of the changes in the M9 are going to take the most getting used to? “This feels a little bit like me coming home, where it’s like you’re away for a while, then you’re like, things are so different. I think it’s just adjusting. She’ll see the relationships, the tattoos, Fjord’s-- the accent thing we didn’t get into in game the other night, but Yasha noticed. We’ll see how it plays out in game and how everyone treats Yasha and how everyone responds to that, whether it’s positive reinforcement or negative. I feel like the positive reinforcement’s going to be tougher.”

On people getting emotionally attached to NPCs: “It catches me off-guard sometimes. I’m just excited that people are as invested in them as I am. With that particular Pumat moment, it made me excited that everyone else was as OH GOD NO at the table as I was.”

[hilltopsunset]

I Regret Buying Pokémon Shield

I told myself I wouldn’t do it. I’ve seen time and again the lack of innovation from main-series Pokémon games, and I insisted nothing would convince me to buy this latest atrocity. Yet here I am, reviewing the game I said I’d never purchase. I should have listened to myself. I KNEW BETTER! Strap in, ‘cause this one’s pretty long.

Pokémon has been around for a long time—like, a long, long time—and I’ve been around for every single new main-series game that’s been released since the franchise’s first arrival in North America back in 1996 with Red/Blue. I was not yet 10 years old, and I still remember the childlike excitement of finding rare, never-before seen creatures, the stress of trying to catch a wily Abra or elusive Pinsir, and the challenging first encounter with the Elite Four and the Champion, a 5-man gauntlet of trainers with powerful Pokémon rarely (if ever) seen in the game prior to that moment. It was exhilarating in a way that keeps me coming back for more, hoping to rekindle those same flames of wonder. 

While the main gist of the games hasn’t changed much over the years, one of my favorite parts of playing a new Pokémon game is seeing the improvements each game brings to the series. Many of the initial sequels made huge leaps in progress: Gold/Silver introduced a plethora of new mechanics like held items and breeding; Ruby/Sapphire introduced passive abilities and was the first to include multi-battles in the form of double-battles; Diamond/Pearl was the first generation capable of trading and battling online and brought us the revolutionary physical/special split so elements were no longer locked into one or the other. These changes all had significant impacts on how players approached battles, formed their teams, and used each Pokémon.

Those changes, combined with the addition of new Pokémon to catch, regions to explore, and enemies to fight, were enough to keep me interested. But I know I wasn’t alone in imagining all the possibilities of taking the franchise off the handheld platforms and moving the main series games over to a more powerful home console. In the meantime, each generation that followed Gen IV highlighted a new, troubling pattern that became more and more prevalent with each addition to the series.

1.       Gen V: Lack of meaningful gameplay innovation

By Generation V with Black/White, not only was Game Freak quickly running out of colors, they were quite obviously running out of ideas for significant gameplay innovation. The bulk of Black/White’s biggest changes were improvements on or adaptations to existing staples to the franchise: many new Pokémon, moves, and abilities were added, and the DS platform allowed for greater graphical quality where Pokémon could move around a bit more on-screen during battles, the camera wasn’t as rigid as it had to be in previous games due to machine limitations; perhaps most importantly, they FINALLY decided to make TMs infinite. Thank goodness. While the updates were nice, they were nowhere near as impactful on the game as previous generations’ changes were and served more as needed quality of life adjustments.

I would also argue Gen V also had the least inspired Pokémon designs (like Vanillux and Klinklang) with the worst starter choices of any Pokémon game, but that’s a discussion for another time. Excadrill and Volcarona were pretty cool, though.

 2.       Gen VI: Gimmicks as the main draw

Pokémon X/Y (See? They ran out of colors) continued this new downward trend in innovation. Mega-evolution—while admittedly pretty cool—wasn’t enough to carry the new generation into an era of meaningful improvement because it was equivalent to adding new Pokémon rather than developing innovative gameplay, ushering in a new era of gimmicks in lieu of substantial updates.

Though the gameplay innovation for X/Y was minimal, the graphic updates were substantial: Pokémon X/Y was the first generation to introduce the main series to a fully 3-dimensional world populated by 3D characters. However, since X/Y was on the 3DS, it was a ripe target for the 3D gimmick seen in almost all games on the console, which I personally used for all of 5 minutes before feeling nauseous and never using the function again.

Despite the fresh look of the new 3D models, the battle animations were, to be frank, incredibly disappointing. Pokémon still barely moved and never physically interacted with opponents, nor did they use moves in uniquely appropriate ways. To my point, for years now there’s been a meme about Blastoise opting to shoot water out of his face rather than his cannons. I was sad to see that they didn’t take the time to give each Pokémon’s animations a little more love. But I figured, in time, when or if the franchise ever moved to a more powerful machine, they would be better equipped to make it happen, right? I also convinced myself that the lack of refined animations were kind of charming, harkening back to the games’ original (terrible) animations.

 3.       Gen VII: Focus on Minigames

The main innovation (gimmick) that came with Generation VII, Sun/Moon, was the lack of HMs in lieu of riding certain Pokémon. Sun/Moon also added Ultra Beasts (essentially just new Pokémon) and Z-moves (just new moves) which only added to the number of gimmicks present in the games. These changes, which provide some mild adaptations to gameplay from previous generations, don’t fundamentally change the way players go through each game, the way that updates in the earlier generations did. I personally played through the entirety of Sun/Moon without using a single Z-move or seeing a single Ultra Beast outside the one you’re required to fight to progress the main story. Ultimately, these changes were not a significant enough experience to warrant an entirely new game that is otherwise full of more of the same stuff with slightly different creatures who have slightly different stats and occupy a slightly different world.

Though Sun/Moon was comfortably embracing the franchise’s affinity for gimmicks, it brought to the forefront yet another troubling trend: mini games. Between photography, the Festival Plaza, and Poké Pelago, the focus on and attention to detail toward mini games had grown considerably over the years. Pokémon games have always had minigames and other time-sinks—which is great! Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate having more to do than trudge through the main story. But it is apparent that, with each new generation, more time seems dedicated to development of these extras. Pokémon Contests, Secret Bases, Super Training, feeding/grooming; a lot of their larger innovations after Gen IV were centered on non-essential parts of the game, which results in diminished game and story quality overall.

Admittedly, Sun/Moon did have some of the best exploration moments of any of the Pokémon games, which I did very much appreciate. More on that later as it relates to Sword/Shield…

 4.       Generation VIII: You Can’t Be Serious

When Game Freak finally announced they were launching Generation VIII, Sword and Shield, on the Switch rather than a dedicated handheld console, I was beside myself with excitement.

And then I saw gameplay footage like this, and my heart sank.

What is the purpose of launching the game on a stronger console if they are going to continue copy/pasting their sprites and their animations? If they aren’t going to provide the Pokémon any unique flair or create more appropriate animations? It was disappointing enough seeing the same animations/models from X/Y for Sun/Moon, but that was sort of expected since the games were on the same console. But now that the game has moved to the Switch, this is unacceptable.

When I learned that they were significantly cutting the number of Pokémon available in the game, I thought for certain that would translate to more time dedicated to the ones that made the cut, to focus on adding animations and character to the critters to make them feel like real parts of the world, rather than avatars of a child’s imagination, unable to fully process how the world functions. Alas, what was I thinking?

I thought the Dynamax gimmick would be one of my biggest gripes because it’s so pointless, or maybe the Wild Area’s severe lack of organic belonging (all Pokémon are just wandering aimlessly, weather can change drastically after crossing an invisible line, trees look like they were cut and pasted out of Mario 64, you can’t even catch Pokémon if they’re too high a level) but honestly the most disappointing part of the game for me was the pitiful routes between towns/gyms. Previous installments of the game included routes full of trainers and puzzles you needed to defeat or solve before you could progress—in Sword/Shield, the only thing that ever prevents you from progressing are some Team Yell grunts barricading paths the game doesn’t want you to take yet, for literally no reason. It completely removes player autonomy and a sense of accomplishment earned through overcoming challenges—now instead of learning that you need to find an item that allows you to cut through certain trees to gain access to new areas, you simply follow the story beats and then, upon returning, the path will be open. It’s inorganic, it’s clunky, and it’s extremely lazy.

Speaking of lazy, the story itself was another massive disappointment for me. Pokémon games are not particularly known for having deep stories, but Sword/Shield takes it to a new low. Every NPC simply pushes you to battle in gyms, and every interesting story beat that occurs happens just outside the player-character’s reach. Any time something interesting happens, you are shooed away and told to let the grown-ups handle it while you just get your gym badges. There COULD have been some interesting story moments where your character gets more involved with helping fix the havoc occurring around the Galar Region, but instead we as the player are simply TOLD what happened, why it happened, and who fixed it (usually the champion, Leon).

I honestly think having the game focus on the story of Sonia, Bede, Marnie, or even Hop (was not a fan of this kid) would have been a much more interesting game, because those characters actually had some depth to them, some bigger reason for taking on the gym challenges than simply “I want to be the very best.” Albeit those stories would have required a tremendous amount of work to add depth and details, the potential for a better story is in those characters. There is just no story at all to the main character, who is ushered from gym to gym because…because? Because that’s what kids do? I’m not even really sure what the motivation is.

There are SO MANY exciting, interesting, innovative ways Game Freak could drive Pokémon into a new and exciting direction while still maintaining its charm and building on existing mechanics, but they instead choose to demonstrate their lack of interest in significant graphical and gameplay innovation. I imagine this is largely because the masses will eat up just about any Pokémon product produced so long as there’s a new bunny to catch, and Pikachu is still involved. I’m disappointed, and I wish the Galar region could meet the expectations of my 10-year old mind’s imagination.

When abilities were added, we suddenly had to consider whether our Earthquake could even hit the enemy Weezing and adapt to the tremendous changes the passive skills added, reconsidering how we faced each battle. When the physical/special split occurred, entirely new opportunities opened up and certain Pokémon who were banished to obscurity due to their poor typing and stat distribution, like Weavile, were suddenly viable. Some even became incredibly powerful, like Gyarados, who had been hit pretty hard by the Special attack/defense split. There were also already-powerful Pokémon (Gengar, Dragon-types) who became even more so through access to STAB moves that benefited off their strongest stats.

I want new games to include updates that feel as impactful as these changes. If you’re interested in how Game Freak can improve on the main gameplay, I have some fun ideas that will be fleshed out in another article: How to Breathe New Life into the Pokémon Franchise. That article will be dedicated to explaining what those changes are, why I want them, and how they can improve future games.

[starbuck09256]

The Sound of Silence

Post This is Not Happening Pre-DeadAlive

This is such angst and sadness I’m sorry.

Tagging the wonderful @today-in-fic

She closes her eyes and rests her head against the window. Everything is wrong. The smell of the car that doesn’t mingle with his aftershave, the pull of the car as it jerks to a stop. She hears the door open and shut, still not right. Not quite hard enough but not soft either. He would have closed it differently. He would of leaned over, brushed the hair out of her face and smiled, even with her eyes closed she could feel the smile on his lips. Lips that she hesitantly kissed, passionately devoured. Lips that will never brush her cheek or body again. It’s not Doggetts fault, she knows this. Finding Mulder in that field and having her world shatter around her. She hears Doggett open the gas cap. The way he leans against the car is wrong. Mulder would be near her window tapping his fingers against his leg. She feels the car dip as Doggett gets back in the smell of his coffee filled with sugar, not black and robust with fumes that remind her it’s only 9:30am plenty of time for coffee still. She misses Mulder so much it hurts, every part of her body and mind ache with space that he filled. The fact that Mulder would have bought her a coffee too, even if she was sleeping and an extra bottle of water because he knows that planes dry her throat out. They pull out of the gas station and the jerkiness of the car gets to her. The fact that it is silent is deafening her senses. The clicking of the turn signal that Mulder barely used. The fact that she doesn’t hear sunflower seeds being cracked won’t ever hear that same sound again causes her eyes to well up. Her baby rolls slightly inside of her as if it knows the pain of her sorrow. Knows how she plays recorded tapes of his notes at night to help lull them both to sleep. A sob rips through her throat as the tears fall down. Doggett startled by the breaking silence looks at her. “I’m sorry, it’s umm.. Hormones..” she mutters chewing on her lip to distract her from the feeling of Mulders ghost fingers brushing her tears away. 

“It’s ok to talk about him, you know. I think it helps.” Doggetts voice is too low, too soft, and his accent is still so unfamiliar. 

Talk about Mulder? How do you talk about someone whose presence was so integral to yours that it’s hard to breathe in the air when you know he can’t? How every single thing you see or do reminds you of a moment you spent together? How the flutter in your stomach taunts you with the knowledge that even though you still have a small piece of him it will pale in comparison to the real thing? She swallows hard against the rising taste of her tears. 

“It’s just, the car is too quiet. Mulder was always talking or eating sunflower seeds.” 

She shifts letting the familiar sounds resonant in her head. She sniffles, “Mulder told me when he was a boy and would wake from a nightmare he would hear his dad cracking sunflower seeds and it always made him feel safe, that sound… I guess I never realized that it made me feel safe too.” 

She looks out the window blurred and watery at the landscape that could be from any moment in the last 7 years of her life. A life that at times she both hated and loved. She loved the adventure, the mystery, now though she hated it. She hated watching trees and houses speed by. She hated that her and Mulder never got to have their home together. She hated seeing happy families on billboards because who could ever compare to Fox Mulder for her? Doggetts voice comes through as a misplaced cough. She doesn’t turn to see him grip the wheel tighter. But his voice is soft when he finally speaks, trying not to disturb the silence in the car. 

“When my son.. Luke died. Barabara and I uh couldn’t drive through tunnels.” T

he tremor in his voice is familiar like hers like anyone who talks about someone they loved so much that the sheer thought of their memory fills them with such sheer sadness. She waits for him to continue. 

“When he was little we would drive through tunnels and go “tuuunnnnneellllllll..” and he thought it was the funnest thing. Every tunnel, even tiny overpasses.” she hears him sniffle slightly. 

“A few weeks after the funeral, I uh made a wrong turn had to go through the one on 85 and Barabara just sat next to me and in the saddest whisper I’ve ever heard said “tunnnnelll” and as soon as we were through we stopped the car got out and cried. I don’t even know how long we were standing there in the mud and the rain splashing against us until we were soaked to the bone. I remember thinking that there couldn’t possibly be enough water in my body to shred at how much I missed him and that’s why it must be raining. And it’s like that in cars still, the silence can be so loud you hear your heartbeat and it makes me think of the wasted heartbeats I had with him. Barabara still doesn’t go through tunnels, she will drive 40 miles out of the way just to avoid it.” 

She hears him wrestle a napkin out, the sound of his nose blowing. 

“We went to counseling, and talking about him helped. So if you just want to tell me about Mulder, I’m here for you. Because a pain like that doesn’t go away or diminish... it just becomes part of you and sometimes the only way to handle the silence is to speak about the moments that were anything but.” 

She looks at him then turns to see his red eyes that match hers. It’s not the same nowhere near. She can’t imagine losing their child. Even Emily was so far removed from her own knowledge and experience it wasn’t the same. She picks up his hand, so different from Mulders and squeezes it releasing it just as quickly.

 “I uh.. I lied to you Dana when we first met.” his eyes bore into the steering wheel as he swallows part of his confession. 

“Noone ever said anything about him not trusting you, he never had confided in anyone in the secretary pool. One agent I remember asking “what do you know about agent scully and mulder?” and you know what she said? She said. “They are soulmates, anything that describes them as less than that is a lie.” I wanted to put you off your guard, wanted you to be mad so I could see what you really knew, what the game was and you were just as defensive as I expected but also so very broken, like not a whole person, and I realized she was right… and that my actions were the worst thing I could of done at that moment in time and I’m so very sorry it ended this way, but if you tell me about him maybe just maybe it will help.” 

She sighs as her eyes close again. Thinking to herself how do you describe someone who challenged everything you knew? Showed you a world beyond the imagination? She pulls herself straighter, adjusting her jacket that barely fits with her stomach stretched with Mulder's child. She’s done sharing. 

“I think I should just try to rest until we get there Agent Doggett.” 

She lays her head back against the window as the sky opens up and rain stats to splatter against it. It’s not silent anymore and in her mind she can hear the soft crack of sunflowers seeds.

[pandoriasbox]

Jade’s SSO Rambles - 8 Updated Care/Bonding System

(Please keep in mind that these are my thoughts and opinions at the time of writing these rambles. I may change my mind in the future.)

Some time after I sorted out my thoughts on the current care system I took a step back and finally fit the pieces together regarding how I think a new “care” system could be implemented into SSO. Some of this is pulling from ideas for my own personal horse game concept but I don’t think that’ll be an issue. My game is intended to be a single player experience with a very different horse system to SSO’s collect ‘em all style of horse models.

We are very long overdue for a better care system and I certainly don’t blame the team for taking their time on it. I would prefer to wait over having something so integral to the game’s core be rushed and sloppy. I just hope that I can toss my own two cents in and propose some decent ideas that might help facilitate a better experience.

A final additional note before I begin, I do have ideas for how to expand on the care skill I will be lightly brushing over but I plan on doing a separate ramble on it. Primarily it involves some suggestions for improving the skill and making it more useful and interesting than its current implementation and expanding on ideas for the Rescue Ranch and Jorvik Rangers.

Regardless of System Adjustments (From Previous Ramble)

Remove designated care areas (stable interior, outside of stables, ranch rp areas, ect) and let the player do basic care actions such as brushing, hoof picking, watering and feeding anywhere.

Remove the loading bar and just play the animations as well as remove the blinking/fading black screens. If necessary clip the player into place like when mounting and simply let them move from where they are after the animation. (Unless it could cause issues with players clipping through walls.)

Keep a simplistic means of doing horse care for roleplay and accessibility. (I don’t think the mini games are a bad idea but I think something simple that is a single click or click and drag with animations should be kept in.)

Bonding System Overview

Horses do not need daily care to maintain happiness which is removed along with the debuffs for not caring. Any care performed instead builds up the horse’s “bond” with the player. Bond does not give buffs to speed or anything that actively affects racing or PVP gameplay. Bonding is also earned by actively interacting with the horse. Your current ridden horse does not lose bonding even when dismounted.

The bond level is only decreased while the player is in game and not actively riding the horse. I would argue that technically horses in the pasture should be allowed to maintain their bond level and only horses kept active in the stable should be affected. (Pasture horses are resting and this would allow players to build up bond with their sometimes 100+ horses without feeling punished for having so many.)

Having high bonding with a horse primarily affects the player when they are actively riding the horse. This could result in bonuses such as earning more horse experience, getting a boost to endurance/horse HP and maybe your horse even can randomly find items for you. I also like to think if potions were added to the game that those (and visual effects like powders) could have extended use on high bonded horses.

Benefits

Treats/Feed Boosts

Increased Bond (Points)

Speed Boost

Agility Boost

Jump Boost

Endurance/HP Boost

High Bonding Benefits

Boost to Horse Exp

Higher Endurance/Horse HP

Horse Randomly Finds Objects

Potions and Powder Effects Last Longer

In general I think switching to a “bonding” system is far more friendly to all players but especially children. It avoids this idea of abusing your horses if you don’t care for them and that your actions could cause unhappiness for your animals. It also removes the guilt of not paying for stable care and as I mentioned in my other care ramble allows players to spend more money on buying more horses without feeling guilt of getting additional horses.

This system would also make it easier to manage large amounts of horses and make it more enjoyable to switch between all of them. For me I generally feel trapped into only riding a few at a time because I cannot afford stable care. That means I either plan out who I ride or suffer through a heavily debuffed horse since both stable care and vets are too expensive and I personally don’t have the time to care for more than 5 horses.

The suggestions I will bring up could give players better means to interact with their horses and control their play style, adding more to how players think about interacting with the game while still giving them reasons to log in often. At the same time though players aren’t being punished (or technically rewarded) for not playing the game either.

Loss of Bond and Freezing Bond Level

Loss of bonding over in game time only occurs on horses who are stabled and not pastured or not your currently ridden horse.

While the player is in game stabled horses’ bond levels will slowly decrease. This can be paused for the day by doing any action that increases bonding. (For example just running around and petting or feeding each stabled horse once is enough.) When the server ticks over to the next day the bond will begin decreasing again while the player is in game. It’s best to do this as soon as you jump on to play to freeze the horse’s current bonding level.

For players who do not wish to actively interact with each horse I believe having a feeding system (not unlike Amelia’s idea for a silo) would work well as an automated bonding action to freeze your background bonding loss. I will go into this more later in the rambles but it would activate with server rollover and not require the player to initiate it so they can have hands free care without requiring SC.

Bond loss due to time in the stable unridden should not be a rapid loss, it should take around 3-4 days worth of not caring for your horse at all while playing the game to completely lose bond level. Bonding should be able to be relatively quickly increased but require more effort to do so faster.

Whenever your actively ridden horse is injured to the point of having no HP left that will reduce bond level by quite a bit. You put your horse in harm’s way and did not protect them therefore they feel less of a bond with you. Whenever your horse is injured enough to remove HP that may also slightly decrease bond as well.

Increasing Bonding

Primarily bond would be improved via interacting with your horse with the main ways being feeding, watering, grooming, petting and racing/training. When racing/training bond is gained (and any bonus exp is earned) with the horse whom you turn it in with.

I think a new feeding system should be implemented along with this idea where instead of doing “stable care” and paying SC to activate it the player has the option to use their feed room to craft food for their horses and choose a feeding schedule for them. Scheduling feed would be similar to stable care where the player simply picks how many days they’d like it active and can cancel the current feed (while keeping in mind they won’t get anything in return for doing it.) The amount of feed needed increases along with how many days the player’s horses will be fed. This should not be affected by the stable size or number of horses in the stable however.

Horse feeding would only apply to horses currently stabled and not affect pastured horses. Doing a mass stable feed allows the player to either choose between doing a basic feed to maintain bond (increasing it by 1pt) or to apply bonuses such as improving how much bonding it provides or adding boosts to stats.

Feed can be obtained via either crafting it (free but more effort) or purchasing it from a food vendor with shillings or SC. Standard feed can be bought with JS or SC but specialized feeds might require SC. All food can be crafted but not everything can be purchased. Crafting requires more effort on the player’s part as they need to collect the ingredients in the world (or save some from events such as free food from the Winter Village. Or maybe we could have our own farms and gardens someday.)

Any stat boosts should be relatively small however and not able to stack. If there is stacking it should only be with different boosts. For example if a player has a horse on a feed that boosts speed then feeding them a treat that boosts speed should not add more speed. However the horse in speed boosting feed could have a treat that boosts jump. Potentially they could be fed multiple treats but only be buffed once per stat.

In addition to feed I think having craftable treats would be wonderful for expanding horse care and adding more a personalized experience. If trading is ever implemented players could sell or gift horse food they made to others. Even without trading this could be a small way for players to make money and convert materials they find in the world into shillings through the effort of crafting.

When feeding your horse however there should be a limit and using feed counts as one point of feeding for that day. The player can continue feeding their horse treats but after say 5 feedings they no longer boost your horse’s bonding. This may also be something to keep in mind with grooming where doing the main grooming actions only give bonding once per day but can be performed countless times. (Such as brushing, hoof picking and using the wash stall.)

I also think it might be cute if your horse has a preference for a specific kind of food each day which is randomized. If you can guess what type of food it is (like a treat with apples in it or just apples) then it could give an extra bonding bonus. I wouldn’t go with horses having perma favorite foods because I know I personally like to imagine my horses liking certain things then I feel disappointed if they don’t follow my idea in game. This also could encourage players to try feeding their horses a variety of treats as well, encouraging them to find and create each recipe.

Horse Food and Recipes

I think starting out the player should have access to some basic options such as being able to feed their horse a few standard food (+1, +3 or +5 bonding effect per day for feed or per treat) and maybe a basic speed boost recipe for feed and treats.

For advanced recipes the player will need to complete mini quests and befriend/increase reputation with the NPCs or groups around Jorvik. For example, after helping Ed Field fix up the inn and revive it he has enough rep with you that he decides to give you a nutter butters weird horse treat or feed recipe. Other options could be a questionable but safe smoothie from Tim or Jamie Olivetree giving you a horse biscuit recipe that with some tweaking the player is able to figure out how not to burn to a crisp. Marly’s family could give rewards unique to each of them including his sister offering a gourmet one.

These recipes would be unlocked following a mini quest given by the NPC and then become permanently available in the crafting part of the feed room. In general it’s a nice way to both give players more reasons to interact with the world and reward those who get invested in it. It also helps flesh out the NPCs and the world we are living in while adding some more holistic aspects. To me it would feel like I’m truly making friends and finding a home in the world of Jorvik through small things such as NPCs appreciating my help so much they gift or help me out in turn. This would also be something that requires the player to work for the more “powerful” items in the game AKA the ability to properly buff your horse outside of tack.

Quick Care Skill Notes

I think I will leave an in depth discussion on improving the care skill to another ramble but I wanted to cover a few ideas and how they might factor into this new bonding system

Players with higher care skill would have automatic bonuses applied to their bonding with all of their horses. For example let’s say every 5 levels of care the player gains an extra +1 with all bonding increases. A player at level 1-4 in care would receive no benefit, one at level 5-9 would get +1 and 10-14 would get +2 and so on. So if brushing only gave +1 bonding usually then a player at level 10 would get +3 bonding with their horse.

If more aspects were added to horse health and we were able to heal our horses with bought/crafted first aid kits then having high care could result in both gaining more bond back as well as improving how much your horse is healed.

Potentially a player with high care skill could have a chance of producing better quality feed and treats with a basic treat that normally only gives +2 could have a 25% chance of being boosted to a higher quality such as giving +5 bond instead.

Overall I’m incredibly happy with what I was able to come up with and even if none of this makes it into the game I do hope that my discussion can help inspire the team or anyone else who reads this when it comes to thinking critically about game systems. I do hope it helps with brainstorming and thinking about how to address interconnected systems within SSO itself though and can provide some benefit to the team. 

Silo idea mentioned can be found in Amelia and Leila’s interview! I also want to mention that the recipes idea was most likely pitched to me by my friends but I apologize for not recalling who as both @sso-ali-archdotter and @centeris2 have been integral to helping me flesh this idea out and I want to thank them profusely for listening to my endless jumbled rambles. 

I also hope you all enjoyed reading through my thoughts on a bonding system and found it intriguing! Let me know if you have any thoughts by leaving a reply, reblog or ask! Likes are always welcome as well and thank you for taking the time to read through this huge discussion!

[olivia-anderson-gifted]

Story prompt: Video game protagonist develops free will, discovers cheat codes.

People always say that cheating takes all of the fun out of games. ‘If you don’t work for it the ending won’t feel earned!’ they scream from atop their high horses.

Well, she had worked for the ending.

She had spent years of her life working towards it, building up her stats, obtaining the best items, making friends with the best party members. She had narrowly escaped her and her friends’ deaths multiple times. She had finally bested the bad guy! The good times were in sight, in a few years the world would be a utopia!

ESC.

Her vision flickered blinding white for a moment and she brought her hands to her eyes. She gave a quiet whine, a little ‘Not again!’, before opening them again.

She was floating, weightless in a void. In front of her were words in a language she couldn’t comprehend, brilliant white against the nothingness, and an arrow pointing between what seemed to be two options.

She barely even paid it any attention. Why would she? It wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen any of this before. It had been a surprise the first time, and even the second, but now? Ah, it’s just a run of the mill Darkness. A monthly occurrence, really. It would be over in a few minutes anyway.

At first, she didn’t think much of how long she was there. When you’re waiting for something it feels like it takes longer, after all!

Seconds... fade into minutes... fade into hours... fade into days...

What is taking so fucking long?

She found herself staring at the back of the words, struggling to understand the weird text. What language was that in? It certainly wasn’t anything like she’d seen before, the words were so... defined. What kind of weirdos would have thin letters? Didn’t they know blocks were the way to go?

Maybe it was because she was looking at it from behind. Those letters looked so... ghastly, there was no way that they really looked like that.

She started to drift over and she frowned as she pressed a hand to the nearest... whatever that was. She had seen it happen before, the weird way it had shaken before bringing her back to the normal world, maybe if she just...

Fuck that’s heavy! She pushed against it with all her might but it wouldn’t budge.

Eventually, she slumped against the abomination, resting her head against it and closing her eyes (not that closing her eyes changed anything). She opened them again after she had caught her breath and looked around for something, anything, to do.

Her eyes found their way to the arrow. She floated over to it and poked it, expecting it to be just like the text, only to scream as it attached itself to her pointer finger. The sudden weight pulled her down a few feet before she regained enough thought to stop herself.

Her gaze found itself to the immovable object and she hurled the arrow -- and herself along at it -- in its direction. She wasn’t expecting much, maybe a collision to snap herself awake (because this must have been some sort of weird nightmare), so it was a shock when she saw the ‘words’ budge.

She shot out of bed, hitting the cold stone floors beside it. Guess she was right about the nightmare part. She winced and closed her eyes to let them adjust to the new light.

Her right arm throbbed where she had thrown it out to catch herself but it was still useful enough to push her back to a sitting position. She cringed at the hard floors, wondering just where she had managed to fall asleep this time, and she sleepily ran her hands over the cracks in the stone.

Wait, cracked stone?

Her eyes shot open despite the slight pain.

God no.

She was back in a prison cell. The guard she had befriended years ago was scowling at her from the other side, knocking his baton against it like he’d done every day. Had he regressed? Taken a plea deal to get out of charges? Wow, he’d even styled his hair back to what it had been when he’d been working there originally.

“Wake up, 1111.”

“I have a name, yknow!” She hissed. “It’s --.” The world paused around her. The person in the cell opposite hers stopped changing midstep, the guard caught mid-blink, the fly next to her nose hanging.

But even weirder were the white words in front of her face. She wasn’t in the void. Those weren’t supposed to be there.

She opted to ignore the words for now, because she honestly didn’t know what to do, and reached up her hand to catch the fly since she’d actually be able to.

It was here that she noticed her left hand had something attached to it. She stared at the milky white boxes with their weird abominations and narrowed her eyes. Maybe the arrow hadn’t faded from her hand like she’d thought, it had just gotten smaller?

She reached out and tapped a few buttons.

“-- DHSHT0! My name is DHSHT0.”

Wait, what? The world was working again? And why had she said that was her name? Her name is DHSHT0!

Huh?

She couldn’t seem to remember her name anymore, just that weird amalgamation of sounds.

“I don’t care,” her friend sneered. “Just get moving, alright?”

He was gone. She had a strange sense of deja vu.

She looked back at her hands and raised her eyebrows when she saw that the boxes were still hovering there, waiting for use.

Deciding to just accept that as a part of life. Best for her sanity.

She slowly walked over to get a change of clothes and her eyes widened as she saw a familiar set of tally marks on the wall. Sure, this was pretty standard, but...

She counted them out and, with a sudden temptation, reached a hand out to scratch a new line.

129 days and counting, she thought.

She knew that thought. She knew those tallies. And she definitely knew what was going on now.

No.

No no no no no no!

She ran back to the front of the cell, pressing herself flush against the bars to get a good look at her friend. He hadn’t just cut his hair back, no, it was back to being that way. From the perfectly cropped hair to the bleached blond roots.

She was back at the beginning of this whole mess.

Oh, fuck no.

She’d rather be back in the void, thank you very much! She looked down at the pad in her hand and began typing furiously. She’d figured out where the enter key had been when she’d typed out her name, so now she inputted random combinations then pressed enter. She wasn’t sure what would work, or what could happen, but she didn’t care.

She blinked and suddenly she was in red armor. Fear climbed up her throat. Did this mean she worked for Him now? She typed more furiously.

A different friend of hers popped into existence in the cell for half a second before disappearing. Oops. Wish she’d actually paid attention to what she was typing.

She leaned herself against the wall and began typing again, more slowly to actually note what was going on.

The wall disappeared from behind her and she fell through, landing in a meadow. She was walking with the guard, whose mostly brown hair was now past his shoulders. She dropped her hand in surprise.

He looked affronted at something she said. “Oh, DHSHT0, come on! You can’t say that! That’s blasphemy.”

She smirked, reaching up to pinch his cheek. “Really? Okay.” She raised her arms to the heavens. “If that’s blasphemy, then He will strike me dead right now.”

There was a pause and she barely managed to think ‘wait, what were we even talking about? What’s going on? Haven’t I already done this before?’ before she turned to him, her cheeky grin stretching even wider.

“Well? I’m waiting.”

She brought her left hand up and started messing with the keypad again. This was all so weird. She’d done all this before, she recognized what was going on, but everything was off about it. They hadn’t done this in a field, she hadn’t been wearing these clothes, and she certainly hadn’t ever had real-life pauses happen before.

Or, as she was beginning to suspect, not real-life at all.

She kept her hand up to pause time and started walking towards town. She needed to get to a library, she needed to understand what the hell had happened to her hand.

But she couldn’t get further than a few steps ahead of herself before she hit some sort of invisible wall. She leaned all her weight against it but, again, it wasn’t enough to gain any ground.

She slid to the floor and rested her head in her hands.

Suddenly, a friend popped in front of her. She glanced down at the keypad, frowning. Had she accidentally tapped something out with her head?

“Hey, DHSHT0, wanna talk?” They chirped in that same pleasant voice they always had but now their smile felt weird. It was too wide, too teeth-y, and definitely didn’t reach his eyes.

“Not really, Johnny.”

“So, you thought you’d be clever and hack the game, huh?” He said, squatting in front of her and steepling his hands under his chin.

‘Hack’ the ‘game’?

“Bet DHSHT0 isn’t even your real name. Bet your real name is something like...” He tilted his head as if listening to a distant song. “Danny?”

She gasped, though she wasn’t sure why. That sounded right, though, so maybe that was her original name.

“I’m right aren’t I?”

She started to bring her hand up to type, to get out of there because something was seriously wrong with her friend and she didn’t like it one bit, but Johnny pushed it back down.

“Now, now, don’t leave! The fun is just getting started! And you want to have fun, don’t you?”

She knew by his tone that whatever ‘fun’ he had planned, she’d want no part of. She pulled her knees to her chest to get as far away from him as possible.

He grabbed her left hand again, pulling it towards him and drumming his fingers across the keypad.

She fell out of bed again, screaming. Just a bad dream, the worst dream ever. She pressed her hand to the floor, moving to get up, and her eyes widened as they felt stone.

She opened her eyes and looked around the cell. Her guard was there again, yelling, “Wake up, 1111, 1112!”

She blinked at the additional number and turned her head to see him. He looked so innocent, bobbing up and down on the bed, but there was nothing innocent about what was going on.

He smiled. “Hiya, cellmate.”

“Can’t you just call me my name?”

“And what was that again?” He cooed.

She had learned a few times ago that, for things to start, you needed the weird line thing at the beginning, so now she pressed it and inputted a random string of letters.

The last thing she saw before she moved was his annoyed expression.

She stood at the base of the mountain. She knew Johnny wasn’t supposed to be a character here yet, so she breathed a sigh of relief, only to turn and see him standing among the two who were actually part of it.

“You know, you could just enjoy the game for what it is,” he said.

She brought her hand up and he lunged for her. She dodged his swipe by pure luck and started running up the mountain because she knew for a fact that she was able to. She was having trouble doing precision typing on the run but she hardly cared as she reached a for it and...

WWWWWWWWWWWWWW--

Huh? Why was her keyboard typing out that one letter so much?

“Having a little trouble typing and running?” Came his voice and she screamed as she ran into him. She hit the ground and winced as pebbles scraped her hands and legs. She dusted at the debris on her hands.

“You should be behind me!”

“And you should be back in your cell, playing this game as it was intended. Life’s full of disappointments.”

He reached for her hand but she was already gone.

She was standing with all her friends, beaming widely as she lifted the crown onto her head. Wait a minute, a crown? When did this happen? Wasn’t she supposed to get a medal for her service, and wasn’t someone supposed to put it on her?

She turned around and stared at troops upon troops of red-clad soldiers.

No.

Johnny clapped from his spot beside her. There was a loud bing from beside her head, a box with a crown and some more of that weird language, and then it was gone.

She was in a white room with Johnny. She looked down at her hand to plot yet another escape, only to find her keypad was gone.

“Congratulations, Danny. You’ve gotten the secret ending,” he said with unenthusiastic jazz hands. “You’ve gotten the secret, now play the game as it is intended or hit ESC and log out for good.”

There was a long pause. Her keypad was gone. Even then, she didn’t know what ESC was in that language. She didn’t want to risk getting it wrong.

“Well?” He prompted.

She stared at her hand, waiting for it to pop up.

“Well?” He prompted.

“I want my old life back! I want the good ending with everyone happy and on the right side and--!”

“Well?” He prompted.

[nightingaletrash]

🌹 🏴 🖤🌎 for Evie and Nyx both

Thank you Anda :D

🌹 What clan do they belong to and how do they feel about them?

Evie

She’s a Gangrel, though she doesn’t really have any loyalty to the clan overall. Having been sired the way she was - attacked and abducted, and then dragged off in front of LA’s Kindred for trial - she wasn’t really overly exposed to any other Gangrel besides Skelter and Beckett. Skelter doesn’t discuss the Gangrel at all iirc, and Beckett makes it pretty clear that he doesn’t overly care for the obsession with separation by bloodline, and so Evie’s overall opinion is influenced by them both. 

Throw in her disgust with the typical nature of the Gangrel embrace, and yeah. She’s not the biggest fan of the clan in general.

Nyx

Answered Here

🏴 What are their allegiances? (Camarilla/Anarch/Independent/etc)

Evie

During Bloodlines, she considered herself to be an Anarch, through and through. But she ultimately took the Autarkis ending because she had no idea if Nines had survived the werewolf attack, and was terrified that the Anarchs might blame her for killing him if he hadn’t. 

When she was reunited with them outside the building, she was glad to see them, but that changed the second Nines said ‘we sure could use you.’ She struck out alone, got picked up by Beckett, and has proudly considered herself Autarkis ever since.

Nyx

She’s loyal to the Nosferatu, her sire, and no one else. However, she’s officially recognised as Autarkis, as she doesn’t swear fealty to the local Camarilla, Anarchs, or Sabbat. Even if the latter did have some ideas about recruiting her. At the end of the day, she’s an information broker, and finds that being officially neutral serves her and her business best.

🖤 How do they feel about being turned? (How did they adjust? Do they feel differently now than they did when they were first turned?)

Evie

Well given that she got tossed into the deep end, she didn’t get much time to process it. During Bloodlines and for a while after, she resents it. She was recovering from her trauma just fine and had a good life living with Sam, learning how to be a better adjusted person. And then it all unravelled and she’s ended up having to make use of her old survival tactics again just to get by while working for Lacroix.

But after a few years with Beckett, learning and growing and unlearning and travelling, she’s come to see the good sides of the deal. She enjoys seeing places she never would have seen before, and the powers are handy, and she has a good mentor in Beckett. It’s come with the good and the bad.

Nyx

It was certainly a shock when she initially came to and found herself with a mouth full of shark teeth. But once she got over the initial shock and fear, and had her first feed, she started to see the possibilities of what she could do with her skills, her new powers, and an eternity to perfect both. Sure, sometimes she gets into trouble, but it’s what keeps unlife interesting.

🌎 Do they try to retain any part of their humanity?

Evie

Absolutely. Evie has Very High Humanity throughout Bloodlines and beyond; she maxed out the stat in the game, but Humanity 10 would be a bit much even for her, so she’s canonically Humanity 8.

She was young when she was embraced, and very idealistic. Her idealism was encouraged by the Anarchs and by Beckett, and both have had a huge influence on her. To her, her convictions and principals and beliefs are very important to her, and she means to stand by them as best she can, even if it’s not always easy.

Nyx

She does. Maybe not to the same extent as Evie does, but just because she looks like a monster and feeds like one doesn’t mean she needs to be an arsehole. Especially because it can and does bring trouble. After all, someone’s careless, sloppy feeding habits brought werewolves into St Paul and Minneapolis, and another person with the same shitty habits brought the Second Inquisition.

Nyx knows what she is, but she doesn’t need to make trouble for herself or her clan. Holding to her humanity is the best way of staying under the radar in her book.

[let-it-raines]

For catch me if you can, I'd really love to see something about them having a second kid since I know you mentioned it before. Maybe something about how Emma's pregnancy is different now that Killian's retired! Thank you for all of your wonderful words!!!!!!

I am forever and always amazed by the love and support that the Catch Me If You Can universe receives, and I love that you guys let me get these words out of my head and onto the page...or the screen. 

So here’s just a day in the life for these two that definitely alludes to some things that happen in their future!

on ao3 | here | if that’s more your jam. 

-/-

July 2025

Killian doesn’t know what to do with himself.

He’s cleaned the house. Every damn floor. That includes dusting the shutters and scrubbing the baseboards and running the vacuum twice before cleaning all of the hardwood and tile.

All of the beds are made, which is not an easy feat for how many pillows Emma likes to put on their bed, and all of Jace’s toys are in their containers. Killian knows that they’ll all be dumped out later, probably as soon as Jace wakes up from his nap, but it’s nice for once to not be worried about stepping on something and for his living room to not be a disaster.

Jace is one of the best things to ever happen to him, but Killian is still not used to how everything is beyond messy all of the time.

But not now.

Though, if it was still messy, at least he’d have something to do.

He’s cleaned the house, worked out, paid bills, set out chicken to defrost for dinner, and now, all he has to do is watch the game.

That’s not necessarily what he wants to be doing right now.

Not when he’s not the one on the mound or in the dugout and not when he still recognizes over half the faces in Yankees uniforms.

He could still be playing. He could. His arm hasn’t hurt in awhile, but that’s because he hasn’t been pitching several days a week and doing training and playing games. He has given his body the rest it needs, but damn if he doesn’t still ache.

It was his decision. He wanted it. It’s for the best.

Watching this season, though, not having any kind of regular job or connection or part of the team, is fucking weird.

But he watches because he loves the game and loves Will and Eric and Robin and all of the other guys on the team.

He watches because he likes to listen to his wife kick ass as a commentator.

She does every single time. Sighing, Killian puts the vacuum on its dock in the closet and then walks over into the living room, plopping down on the couch and turning the volume up. They’re in the bottom of the sixth, the Yankees are winning, and he hears Emma telling some story about Will that he knows is one of the age-old tales that publicists feed commentators so they have something to say to fill dead air-time.

Emma hates having to use those, but she tries not to let too much of her own personal connection with the players in.

That doesn’t really work when fifty percent of what she’s asked about has to do with him. She says it doesn’t bother her, that she’s proud to be his wife and to get to tell stories of all of her seasons with him, but there’s this small part of him that will always hate whenever anyone makes her career about him. They’re intertwined, yes, but Emma has always stood out.

His phone rings in his lap, and Killian slides his finger across the screen.

“Hey, A.”

“Hey,” Ariel says, “did you get any of my emails today?”

“I haven’t checked. Why? What’s up?”

“I sent you some stuff about interviews. Fallon and Meyers both want you on. GMA and Kelly and Ryan want you and Emma on.”

“For what? We’re not promoting anything, and you know we’re keeping Emma away from as many cameras as possible.”

“She’s literally on TV right now.”

“You know they only shoot from the shoulders up most of the time, unless it’s a rain delay or something.”

“They can do that on these shows.”

“With all of the crew that’s on those sets?” Killian clicks his tongue and stretches his arms above his head. “I don’t know. I have to talk to Emma. Why do they want us on, again?”

“It seems the two of you have become very popular on the internet because of a Buzzfeed article.”

“What the hell?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know it’s weird, but it’s one of those where they talk about reasons to watch sports, and then they list a bunch of attractive athletes. You’re on the list, and the author attached a link or whatever to some article about you, Emma, and Jace. It’s kind of blown up into its own thing. How have you not seen it?”

“Woah, woah, woah, do these people not realize I’m retired? They can’t watch me play unless they want to watch old games.”

“You’re literally missing the entire point.”

“No, I got it, A.”

“So will you do the shows?”

“Eh,” he groans, running his hand through his hair, “that sounds a little too gimmicky to me, especially the morning show ones, and I told you I have to run it by Emma before I let you run with it.”

“Look, I get it,” Ariel sighs, and he has a feeling she’s about to do some of her famous convincing. “You’re a manager’s dream, Killian Jones, but you’re also my worst nightmare. I know you don’t like actually saying it, even though you just did, but you’re retired now. You’re going to have money coming in forever no matter what, but it wouldn’t help to grease the wheels a little bit, keep your star power alive while you stay under the radar figuring out the next big thing for you. I’m just saying that this could be good for the both of you. I’ll even make it so that the questions can’t be too invasive.”

“How are they not going to be invasive? They’re literally asking about my personal life. That’s why they want me on the shows.”

“I have my magic ways.”

Killian groans and leans back on the couch, running his hands through his hair and pinching his nose. “We’re keeping this pregnancy quiet as long as possibly can. The only way either of us would possibly agree to it is careful camera angles and no mention of the pregnancy.”

“How would they mention the pregnancy if they don’t know about it?”

“Well, someone could see. Look, I don’t know. I’ll run it by Emma tonight, okay?”

Ariel’s sigh is deep on the other end of the phone, and he knows that she gets it, even if she’s exasperated with him. It’s been happening a lot more lately with her trying to learn to manage him when he’s not always in the clubhouse or on the plane, and the adjustment period is still new.

All of this is.

“She’s going to say no.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know the two of you, I do. Is there any way I could convince you to do it, just you?”

Killian chuckles and rolls his eyes. He wouldn’t be opposed to going on a few late night shows. Those were always a good time. He’s just not going to have his life be put on a public platter without talking to his wife first. “Bye, A. Go bother your husband.”

“He’s kind of in the middle of a game right now in case you haven’t noticed.”

“I’m sure you can still find a way to bother him.”

She scoffs. “I will hear from you by the morning, you asshole. Goodbye.”

And then the line goes dead.

Bloody frustrating woman.

Emma’s voice echoes from the television, and Killian turns his attention back to the game. From all accounts, this seems like any other run of the mill game where everything has been average. It’s not a blow out, there aren’t any spectacular plays, and it’d be a good game to put on for a nap.

Maybe that’s what he should be doing with his free time.

He should have done that earlier, though, because he knows that Jace will be up soon.

“My husband won three World Series in what a lot of people consider a very short career for a pitcher. I don’t think you can say that’s normal. There’s only a handful of men born in the last few decades that can say that, actually.”

“Of course,” Isaac adds, “but with the way you say it, you act as if he won all of those on his own.”

Oh fucking hell. Isaac and James need to go to another team or another network. Killian’s never listened to them much since he used to watch games on mute, but damn, it’s like they don’t know how to talk positively about anyone. Is that what viewers want?

“I have never once said that,” Emma corrects, tense. “It’s always been a team effort. The starting pitcher doesn’t even play the entire game, but you implied that my husband was a mediocre player when he was anything but. Of course, he had help. Will Scarlet, for instance, helped Killian in every game. These teams are like puzzles, and you have to have all of the pieces to get the end goal. But, I mean, damn, can we go one game without you interrogating me on Killian’s stats? He was a damn good player, and nothing is going to change that.”

“You don’t have to get so emotional about it. I’m simply doing my job.”

Fuck you, Isaac.

“Alright,” Emma sighs, the camera now showing them in the booth. She’s smiling, and to the rest of the world, she looks like she always does, but there’s a tightness in the tug of her lips that he doesn’t like. “Let’s look at a play of the game presented by Chase.”

And then the screen cuts to a double play from earlier, and Killian mutes the television and stands up. What just happened isn’t going to go over well with the network, and he already knows Emma isn’t going to be home late.

Killian sighs and walks upstairs until he gets to Jace’s room. Jace is standing up in his crib trying to climb over it, and when he looks up and sees Killian, he plops back down and pretends that he wasn’t just trying to do some kind of Mission Impossible escape. They’ve got to think about moving the kid to a bed soon. All of the books say he needs to be a little older, but Killian thinks Jace might be ready.

He and Emma likely are not.

“What are you doing there, lad?” Killian laughs, leaning against the doorframe.

“Sleeping.”

“With your eyes open?”

Jace giggles and closes his eyes, cheesing like he does every time Emma tries to get him to pose for a picture. The blue of his eyes disappears into thin lines. “We play ball?”

“How are you going to play ball with your eyes closed?”

One eye slowly opens before the other joins in. “I play baseball.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Killian sighs, walking into the room and reaching into the crib to grab Jace, kissing his cheek before brushing his curls off his forehead. “We will go and play baseball, and then we’re going to cook some dinner for Mommy. Does that sound good? Dinner?”

“Pizza?”

“No, lad, not pizza. We can have some chicken though.”

Jace pouts.

“Yeah, I know. Pizza is better than chicken, but it’s all about balance, my boy.”

Killian and Jace go through their post naptime routine before Killian grabs the soft baseball they use with him and they walk out to their back patio. They have a little bit of green space back here, would have more if Killian would take the time to landscape and reorganize their furniture, and the thought has him making a mental checklist of that being his project for tomorrow.

Scratch that. Today is the end of the series, and Emma will be home for the next few days without having to go into the office or into the stadium. They could do it together, but he told her they’d have a day where they do absolutely nothing.

He intends to stick to that promise even if it’s nearly impossible for him to sit still.

He plays catch with Jace, which mostly consists of Jace tossing the ball up at such an angle that it immediately hits the ground and then drops dead. It’s that over and over again, but this tires the kid out and is something he genuinely enjoys. Killian will do absolutely anything in the world to make his son smile, and if that means chasing after a ball for an hour, he’ll do it.

That also means that when Jace gets exhausted while Killian is cooking dinner that he’ll deal with the meltdown and try to calmly explain to a toddler that it’s okay that the blue marker isn’t anywhere to be found because he can color with all of the others.

That doesn’t really fly when all he wants is a blue marker.

Obviously, he’s really knocking this whole dad thing out of the park.

The alert on Killian’s phone goes off, and he pulls up the camera to see Emma pulling into the garage. He opens his mouth, about to tell Jace that Emma’s home, but he decides to let it be a surprise. Maybe that way the kid will get out of his funk for a moment and be happier.

Or he’ll have a meltdown in front of Emma.

At this point it’s really a guessing game.

In a few minutes, Killian hears the sound of her footsteps on the stairs, and then she’s rounding the corner and moving into the kitchen. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail, loose pieces around the front framing her face, and she’s not wearing any shoes. When she left the house today she was in heels and her hair was cascading down her back in waves, and if he couldn’t see the bags under her eyes and see the tightness in her smile, he’d know she was tired from her change in attire.

“Mommy,” Jace squeals when he looks up and sees her. Killian steps away from the salad he’s fixing and helps Jace down, and then he’s running toward Emma and waiting for her to pick him up. “Hi.”

“Hi, baby,” she sighs, kissing his cheek and brushing his curls back. “I missed you. Did you and Daddy have a good day?”

He eagerly nods his head, and Killian lets out a little sigh of relief. Maybe he’s not fucking this whole parenting thing up as much as he constantly thinks he is.

He’s not Brennan. He’s never going to be Brennan. But damn if he doesn’t still think he’s going to find other ways to screw his kids up.

Killian goes back to cutting up strawberries and Emma and Jace talk, and before he knows it, she’s walking over to him. He twists his head in anticipation, and Emma brushes her lips over the corner of his mouth before managing to plant a firmer kiss.

“Hi.”

“Hi. How was your day?”

She rolls her eyes. “I’ll tell you about it later. What are we having for dinner?”

“The Italian chicken and some salad. I can pop some bread in the oven if you want me to.”

“I really need the carbs.”

“Then bread it is.”

“Thank you,” she sighs before adjusting Jace on her hip and then setting him back down on the barstool. “Look at this beautiful drawing. You know, I found a blue marker in my purse today. I think it might belong to you.”

Emma Jones, always saving the day.

They eat dinner, exchanging their normal small pleasantries, talking about their days without really talking about them. It’s not unusual for Emma to still take awhile to figure out how she wants to phrase things and open up about them, but it’s been awhile since it’s been like this, especially because he knows she didn’t have a good day.

Maybe she doesn’t want them to have to talk in front of Jace.

So they don’t.

They eat and do the dishes and then settle down in front of the television. Jace will only watch the Trolls movie at the moment. It doesn’t matter what iteration, as long as it’s got brightly colored singing creatures in it, and Killian tries to pay attention. He really does. But he’s distracted by a group text with the team as they discuss dinner plans for tomorrow on their day off. He’s still included in the group, even when most of it doesn’t pertain to him anymore, and he gets caught up trying to convince them to all go for pizza since Jace mentioned it earlier and it sounds damn good. He doesn’t need to be eating that, but for all that he still works out, he might deserve it.

Emma will definitely want it.

Or maybe not. He’s not sure when food is going to repulse her or not.

“Hey, sweetheart, do you – ”

Killian looks up from his phone, and he sees that Emma’s slumped down into the couch cushions, her chest rising and falling, and she and Jace are asleep.

She’s going to kill her neck if she falls asleep like that.

“Love,” he whispers, nudging her until her eyes blink open. “Hey, let me have Jace, and I’ll put him to bed. You can go upstairs, yeah?”

She nods and helps get Jace off of her until he’s in Killian’s arms and Emma is sleepily walking upstairs. He follows, turning for Jace’s room while Emma heads to theirs, and even though it only takes him five minutes to get Jace down, Emma is already in bed when he makes it to their bedroom.

Silently, he crawls onto the mattress, raising the comforter and settling underneath it as he inches closer to Emma until her back is pressed into his chest and her feet are tucked between his calves. She’s got socks on, thankfully, so it’s not like there’s ice against is skin for once. Emma sighs back into him, reaching back and grabbing his arm to wrap it around the slight roundness of her stomach. It’s a feeling he’s not quite used to yet, but it’s something he’s searched for since the moment Emma’s test came back positive.

This time he feels much more prepared, like he knows far more than any book or class can teach him, but it doesn’t stop the ache in the pit of his stomach the contradicts the warmness of his heart.

Killian sighs and presses his lips to the side of Emma’s neck while his fingers trace against her stomach, his hand moving until he can maneuver himself under her shirt and feel the heat of her skin.

Emma places her hand over his, squeezing, and for awhile, he waits for her to speak, for her to set the pace and unfurl what’s on her mind.

As her breathing evens, he’s not sure that time will ever come.

“I am so tired,” she finally whispers. “I am tired down to my bones and keep waiting for that fucking second trimester energy to start, but it hasn’t. So I’m tired but I get up anyway because I have things to do here and a job, which I swear is sucking my soul out of me.”

“What happened, love?”

“Did you watch the game?”

“Bits and pieces, but I heard enough.”

She scoots back, more firmly pressing herself into him, and her hair tickles his nose, the scent of her shampoo surrounding him.

“Was I wrong to want to do this? Should I have stayed where I was? I had so much more control there. Yeah, I was basically just the pretty face they used for men to stare at, but I had a say in what I said and who I worked with. When people hated me, I didn’t have to hear about it because I wasn’t sitting in the booth next to them. How long am I just going to be the woman who doesn’t belong? The woman who is only there because of who her husband is? And I just know it’s going to go over fantastic when I finally tell everyone I’m pregnant. I have a feeling I’m not going to be able to hide it from anyone but Jace soon.”

Killian swallows and strokes her stomach as he kisses her neck again. He doesn’t know how to make this better. He never has.

“You got that job without me. You know that, right? You already had your foot in the door.”

“Killian, I know, but no one has ever seen me that way. I might as well be a star on the Real Housewives of New York.”

“That would technically be me in this situation.”

Emma laughs, and God, that’s a good sound to hear. “Ah, yes, I hear quite a lot about you being the one who is at home with our kid. It’s almost like you’re a dad.”

“Shocker, isn’t it? A dad spending time with his kid? Raising him? Being there?”

“It’s revolutionary,” she chuckles, turning and twisting around until she’s facing him and her nose is brushing against his. “I know I got the job on my own. I know I’m smart and capable and a damn badass, even if saying that makes me a little less of one. But sometimes I just wish that things were a little easier, that I worked with people I liked again. Babe, I think I would do horrible things to have you in that booth with me.”

“Hmm?”

“I mean, would it be so crazy?” She runs her hands up his side until she’s caressing one side of his face, nails curling back into his hair. “We’ve talked about it before. You expressed interest in it. And come on, I know you love staying home with Jace, but you can’t tell me you’re not itching to be doing something else.”

“Well, Ariel did call and ask if we’d go on several talk shows today.”

Her brows pinch together. “Why?”

“Apparently there was some list about attractive baseball players – ”

“Did that stroke your ego?”

“Eh, maybe a little,” he teases, kissing her nose. “But it’s something about the two of us now being in the spotlight again and a few people had reached out to her. I said I’d ask you, but I figured the answer would be no. Then today happened, and I knew it would.”

“Yeah, I’m not doing anything extra. You can go if you want.”

“I might like it, depending on what they ask and who the other guests are. Maybe I can go on one of the shows and see if they’re doing a cooking segment that day.”

“Oh, can you bring me back food?”

“Yeah, Swan, I can.” Her eyes flutter closed and Killian leans back a bit. “I will think about it, okay?”

“About what?”

“Seeing if the network would have any interest in me working with you. Not this year, I think. I want to be home with Jace and whoever this new little one is as much as I can. And Ariel has me doing events and still working with charities, and most weeks, I’m busy enough. I mean, today I was bored out of my mind, but I think working with you would be bloody wonderful. That way we’d be on a similar schedule and still have time for our family. And I guess it could keep me connected to the game, since I still haven’t quite figured out how I wanted to do that.”

“Whatever makes you happy,” Emma promises opening her eyes. “Don’t do it for me, yeah?”

“Emma – ”

“No, I’m serious, don’t do it for me. I only want it to be something you want. Killian, if you want to spend the rest of your life knitting with a group of old women, you can do that. Your career has allowed us that, but if you want to stay in this world of baseball, we can find a way for that.”

Killian blinks, swallowing the lump in his throat as his hand brushes over Emma’s hip, holding her close to him. “Are you happy, sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” she whispers, “I am. I’m also still exhausted. I think I’ll have to conquer sexism in sports tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow is your day off.”

“Then the next day then.” She pats his cheek and dips her head down to lightly brush her mouth of his, a feeling as familiar as anything else in the world. “I love you, Jones. Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For being there for me, no matter what. I have a lot of people who are like that for me now, but I haven’t always. I mean, you know. You get it.”

“Aye, I do.” Killian hugs her closer and feels her stomach press against his. It won’t be so small soon and so much will change, but for right here and right now, that’s a worry for another day. “Thank you for being that person for me, Emma. Are you ready to go to sleep? Or would you be up for some brownies I made earlier?”

“I would be up for you bringing me some brownies in bed.”

“You’re going to get crumbs on the sheets.”

“It’ll be worth it.” She kisses him again, this time slower, softer. “I’ll do the laundry.”

Killian lets out a low whistle. “You really know how to convince a man.”

-/-

-/-

@mrtinski @bluewildcatfanatic @killianswannn @sherifemma @onepunintendid @authorarsinoe @stunningswan @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @galadriel26 @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury @superchocovian @sals86 @iam2307 @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings @carpedzem @tornadoamy @captainkillianswanjones

[ofravensandgenesis]

F, O, and P for Declan and Josh!

Putting it all under the cut bc it got long. xD

F: Fun1. what do they do for fun?Joshua’s a hands-on kind of guy, he likes finding something to do even if it’s downtime. He’s picked up a lot of craft-related hobbies to varying skill levels, largely driven by the whole impending-end-of-the-world fear. x’D Cooking is his passion, but he also dabbles in gardening, knapping, woodworking, some blacksmithing, sewing, and leatherworking as his top preferred areas of interest. Very DIY. He was pretty hellbent on trying to figure out how to make stuff himself once he got his act together in his teen years. That’s not to say he’s good at all that. He’s passing fair on basic stuff, is kind of going for a jack of all trades deal. If he’s too tired to mess with something like that, he reads or watches movies. Prefers cooking series for their predictability and the “safe” topic when it’s movies or TV series, fantasy/adventure or slice-of-life and other light fare when it’s reading. Will watch nature documentaries and other interesting historic series too. That’s the fun he gets up to on his own that’s legal. If we’re talking illegal, he does get a thrill from stealing stuff simply because he’s good at it, and he’s keen on stockpiling stuff. He stopped doing that once he went into the police academy—though he made sure he’d stolen enough to further his plans before then, scheming little doomsday prepper that he is. Never got caught either, so his record is technically clean. With others though? He likes to hang out with Sharky, Staci, and Hurk Jr. in particular for just drinking and doing fun dumb and questionably-safe activities. Hangs out with Jess, Joey, Dutch and a few others too, doing significantly less dangerous things, like hunting lessons from Jess.Declan is a fucking jock, okay? x’D He likes his martial arts practice, likes going on nature hikes, going to the gym, sports in general, etc. If we’re talking inclement weather or just a rest day or something, he’s probably watching chinese dramas or reading romance novels. No for reals, he does read more broadly, he just is a squishy sap and likes happy endings, typically leans towards fiction over nonfiction, but is willing to read anything recommended to him. Is less of a fan of horror, but will read some selectively, prefers more old school gothic horror if so. He’s not as much of a dabbler as Joshua is, but does a little houseplant care from time to time, and tries to take care of the garden. Emphasis on tries. He gets by. x’D Nothing’s died prematurely, but he steers clear of any real gardening commitments. He’d be better with more clear-cut instructions of figuring out what a plant needs on a set schedule. Gardening’s complicated in his opinion because it’s more by feel from his perspective. Declan’s not really an eyeballer sort. Likes to dance in his own home when no one’s looking to whatever dance music he’s got on. This happens a lot during chores.2. what is their ideal party?Joshua would prefer to keep it small with people he’s comfortable with, and probably with the more “we don’t quite care so much if it’s illegal but Sharky stop trying to get yourself a federal warrant” crowd of friends. He likes his more-law-abiding friends too, just…well. Joshua’s shady, though he tries not to be. x’DDeclan likes BIG parties of friends and family. The potluck kind where everyone brings food and there’s games and gossip at all hours until a reasonable bedtime. The kind where people are squashed together in small circles everywhere because there’s nooooot quite enough chairs or seats to go around. Small parties are nice too, but he feels most at home with more people around, preferably 3+. Dinner parties with friends invited over count in this regard too.3. who would they have the most fun with?Sharky, Hurk Jr., and Staci for Joshua, for the above reasons. xDDeclan has more fun with Joey, Staci, Whitehorse, and Nick and Kim Rye.  Declan got to talking to Earl about how to get into fishing, which led into fishing lessons, which led to just hanging out with a nice beer on occasion. He absolutely adores the Ryes’ weekend barbecues and gets along particularly well with Kim. Kim thinks him and Nick talking are like putting a pair of nerds from different fields together and watching them chatter, they’re both such dorks. xD Declan’s family ofc also applies, but that’s a given at this point.4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?…yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, for Joshua. He’s learned!Declan absolutely, he’s just a few notches shy of being a rules-lawyer. xD5. do they go out a lot?Yes and yes.——————————————————O: Optimism1. are they optimistic or pessimistic?That’s an interesting question for Joshua because he’s got a lot of conflicting beliefs and he knows it. He’s ultimately an optimist, though he has his moments of utter existential despair and feeling like everything’s going to end badly and there’s no point in trying…but he takes the time to recover from those low bouts, because he wants to believe that it’s at least worth trying to change it all for the better, because maybe it’ll work. Maybe things will turn out better, if they try. He’s resilient in his optimism, bending with the wind, compared to Declan who is more rigid in his beliefs.Declan is definitely an optimist. He can’t believe that it’s all for nothing, that the universe doesn’t care, that there isn’t a greater good. That’s part of what trips him up in his AU storyline, because he does believe virtues like justice are inherent to the universe among other things. That belief is challenged in his story a lot due to the cult’s doings, and the ultimate fallout of it.2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others?Well, Joshua doesn’t throw it on people, but he does try to support people who are feeling down or such about the state of the world. Declan is similar, if more resolute in his presentation—or he was. He’s a bit more on the strong-and-silent-type in his “present” timeline. x’D3. are they good at giving advice?On what topic? If you want to know how to quickly pick a lock like you’re a level 20 rogue with a maxed out dex stat, best ways to stake out and plan a home invasion, and how to do rapid inventory turnover on the black market, Joshua’s your guy. He is also your guy in select areas of research and experience. Morally in general though? Crapshoot. He’s morally flexible and will adjust depending on the audience, but generally strives to get everyone sooooooort of in the neighborhood of being a good person. His lines in the sand are mostly regarding violence and harm. Stealing and kidnapping in the context of the impending Collapse? If you have principles and rules guiding the actions he’ll side eye strongly, but let it slide. Moreso the stealing, he’s fine with that provided it’s not Extra Assholery like stealing from impoverished people or such but well…he’ll take kidnapping while waiting for the nukes to drop if there’s no torture or brainwashing or murder involved. If only. In more normal circumstances, he’s against kidnapping. Stealing…well. He and Jess used to shoplift from Lorna’s when he hitchhiked to visit when he was younger. He’s got history in Hope County whether most folks know it or not, even though he was technically living in a different state at the time.Declan? Will do his best. He gives reasonable advice before plot happens, afterwards…he doubts himself more. Doubts everything more. Once he squares that away though, he’ll be more like his old self. Not entirely, but he’ll always try to do his best and give what good advice and support he can, or go find someone who can help, etc.4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?We’ll interpret “throw” as “is influenced by” here. xDJoshua gets some good optimism or down-to-earth-solidarity from various friends. Definitely Joey, she helps him believe in the inherent good of humanity just by being herself most noticeably, but it’s true as an influence in different ways with all his friends. People being there with him means a lot, even if he’s not been totally forthcoming about his life’s details and some major aspects of himself yet.Declan gets it from friends and family alike yes, it’s part of why he’s such a lil ball of jock-y sunshine. xD5. were they always optimistic?Joshua? Not always. He veers back and forth even now, but ultimately tries to remain optimistic as stated above.Declan? Also no. He was optimistic all his life up until Plot Happenings, namely the in-game events of both Far Cry 5 and Far Cry New Dawn.——————————————————P: Personality1. what is their best personality trait?Joshua’s determination to try to make things better even in the face of crippling self doubt, supernatural issues, and overwhelming external problems.Declan‘s inherent belief in the greater good and the attempt to uphold himself and everyone to being the best they can be.Kind of similar, aren’t they, though different in how they go about it.2. what is their worst personality trait?Joshua can be incredibly violent if threatened and stressed out to the max, and impulsive at times. He regrets it later, and tries to do better, but he does have a temper he tries to rein in. He’s a petty and vengeful little fucker when pressed, though he tries not to be.Declan’s would be ironically his strong point: thinking people can be better than they are because he can see their potential. It’s hard for him and takes a while to accept that sometimes people don’t want to be better, and other related aspects of that. He works on this, but he just has a hard time accepting not trying to make a situation or such better. Well. He used to have a hard time accepting that. Plot events have gotten him a bit more jaded somewhat. Not entirely, but somewhat.3. what of their personality do others love?Joshua’s loyalty and supportiveness. Get you a friend who doesn’t judge how many bonfires you want to start per week and actually wants to help out with finding stuff to burn, while keeping you on the right side of legal enough to not get arrested. He’ll object to melting Angels’ faces off, but that’s a moral debate.Declan’s unwavering faith in humanity and individual people. He believes in you!! You can do it!! Somehow, someway!! And if there isn’t a way, he’ll help you make one!! He is your favorite gym buddy if you need a cheerleader who will encourage and compliment you.Well, he was, but needs some time to get over his more heavily trauma-induced selective muteness to get back to cheering people on.4. what of their personality do others envy?Hm, not sure people would envy either of them, though I guess maybe Declan’s do-gooder attitude? Joshua’s momentum and ability to keep going, perhaps.5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?Joshua hates how emotionally whiplashy he can get. He’s not sure if it’s [unrevealed backstory elements] or just how he is. He’ll learn to accept it at some point...eventually. He’s surprisingly more accepting of people being emotionally whiplashy than he is of himself being thus, up until they start hurtful comments. Then he’s potentially going from 0-60 of sympathetic to aggressive. Hard to tell, it’s chaotic at times to figure out how he’ll respond, and he wishes he was more stable in general. He’s working on it though, and has made some progress. Declan...wishes he was more pro-active in thinking for himself. It’s not full on hate so much as sad, angry, hurt, because hate is very hard for him to feel let alone sustain. At most, he might feel a flicker of it for a flash of a moment, but if he believes someone or in this case himself is doing their best, he won’t fault them for not getting a perfect or desired result. Life is full of mistakes, and you do your best to learn from them.