#and matty just being all 😳

[agrebel18]

I just remembered that I had a dream where Gus and Matt were together somewhere and being badass during the day of unity AND THEN mattholomule figured something out then Gus thanked him right after with a wink, then he got flustered and yelled “UHHH THATS A HUMAN THING” and ran away but also grabby Matt along while Matty was confused but also blushing a little bit 😭

[liightsout]

the blue - part eleven

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

✯ summary: an accidental soft launch ✯

✯ pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem!oc ✯

✯ content warnings: none ✯

✯ now playing: dive - holly humberstone✯

✯ series masterlist ✯

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

mattieryan just posted on their story

Seen by landonorris, adamjames22 and 76 others

landonorris replied to your story - ok soft launch !!!

adamjames22 replied to your story - I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS LANDO OWES ME A TENNER!

danielricciardo posted on their close friends story

Seen by maxverstappen1, scottyjames31 and 23 others

maxverstappen1 replied to your story - call me right now!!

scottyjames31 - double date when?

gracericciardo - so happy for you Daniel

Liked by danielricciardo, adamjames22 and 89 others

mattieryan word on the street is

View all comments.

adamjames22 i never thought i'd have to suffer through you soft launching a boyfriend like this 😩

↳ mattieryan sorry not sorry

↳ landonorris how single do you feel from 1 to 10 adam? i'm at an 8 😖

↳ adamjames22 defintely a 10 i've had to deal with them at the flat for the last 24 hours 😒

↳ landonorris sending thoughts and prayers to you 🙏🏻

↳ mattieryan ur both annoying. adam we said u could build lego with us and u literally cheered???

↳ adamjames22 i'm bored pls don't take back the invite ☹️

danielricciardo 🤍

↳ mattieryan 🤍

Liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 753 others

adamjames22 thank you to mattie for letting me crash her date

tagged mattieryan

View all comments.

mattieryan you're terrible at building lego, how do you have a degree in engineering? i think mclaren hired the wrong guy 🤷🏻‍♀️

↳ adamjames22 why u trying to get me fired? 😳

↳ mclaren no comment 🤐

↳ user1 not mclaren commenting on this post 💀

↳ user2 she won't be laughing when her free ride runs out and she has to pay her own rent lol

user3 this is such a cute date idea!

user4 wait... i'm confused... is this adam soft launching mattie?

↳ user3 nooooo! by the sounds of things mattie was on a date and they let adam join, which is sweet of her!

↳ user4 thanks for clarifying! must be someone they both know if it's not awkward for him to crash their date? ��

Liked by maxverstappen1, sebastianvettel and 486, 324 others

danielricciardo first race done and back home to build some lego

mclaren great first race DR3!!! 🧡

landonorris nice photo of you, whoever took it must be really talented 😏

↳ danielricciardo he's a good photographer, alright driver i guess

↳ landonorris ffs

user1 his smile!!!!! he's so pretty

user2 he’s so cute! 🥰

user3 UH GUYS! i don't mean to alarm anyone but didn't adamjames22 post that he was crashing his friend mattie's LEGO date???? 🚨‼️

↳ user2 oh shit you're right 😮

↳ user4 i knew she had to be dating one of them!! not sure how i feel about it being danny though...

user5 do you think they meant to soft launch like this or was it an accident? lol

↳ i wonder what f1paddockgossip thinks of all this? 🤨

f1paddockgossip check out our new post for the latest danny ric content girlies! 🤭

Liked by user1, landonorris and 11, 242 others

f1paddockgossip Big news for all the DR3 girlies! Our man is spoken for! If you saw our posts from last week you know there was speculation that the Aussie was dating long time friend of Mclaren engineer adamjames22. Well it appears the rumours are true - Danny Ric is dating mattieryan ! The pair have been soft launching on their private Insta's, but have accidentaly outed themselves via some clumsy posts on Instagram by Ricciardo and James. These photos were sent to us by a source close to the pair. We don't have much info on them as a couple, or on Mattie in general but we'll let you know as and when they do. What are your thoughts?? xoxo

View all comments.

user1 I can't believe f1paddockgossip was right

user2 the fact that they accidentally soft launched is the funniest thing 💀💀💀

user3 lol what a slut, jumped on the biggest paycheck she saw, would have been Lando if DR hadn't of signed to Mclaren 🤢🤢

user4 they seem so cute together!! the fact that they included Adam in their date so he didn't feel left out is adorable 🥺

user5 THIS. IS. AN. INVASION. OF. PRIVACY !!!!

↳ user3 they literally all posted it on to a public platform? what did they think was going to happen?

↳ user5 i meant - someone sharing photos posted from mattie's private account to gossip sites is an invasion of privacy, and accounts like this speculating on it are even worse !!

Lked by danielricciardo, adamjames22 and 832 others

user6 pls why did landonorris like this post 💀💀

↳ landonorris it was an accident 😣

user7 omg guys mattieryan took her account off private !!! 🚨🚨

Liked by adamjames22, maxverstappen1 and 12, 432 others

tagged danielricciardo

mattieryan since you’re all asking

landonorris oh thank god i thought i was going to have to keep this a secret for ages 😅😅

adamjames22 can't believe my best friend is dating an aussie red bull driver and that it isn't mark webber, 14 year old mattie would be so dissapointed in herself

↳ danielricciardo thanks mate 🙄

↳ adamjames22 happy for you guys really

↳ danielricciardo that’s better 😊

danielricciardo 🤍

↳ mattieryan 🤍

user1 i am going to CRY look how happy and smiley he is with her

user2 power move for them to hard launch and her to take her insta off private to stop people sharing stuff without their permission tbh

Comments on this post have been limited.

Liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 634, 423 others.

danielricciardo heart eyes emoji

maxverstappen1 Kelly and I are so happy for you mate

↳ danielricciardo thanks buddy 🙏🏻

scottyjames31 can't wait to meet her!!

↳ danielricciardo i'm dreading it already 🙃

gracericciardo beautiful girl!

↳ danielricciardo thanks ma 😇

mattieryan 🤍

↳ danielricciardo 🤍

Comments on this post have been limited.

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

✯ authors note: this is quite a long social media chapter - hope it's ok and easy to follow!!

next update won’t be for a lil while cus i’m back to work for the next 6 days ☹️☹️

the new dts trailer is living rent free in my brain - CH saying that danny would have been next to max on the grid is like music to my ears - RICBULL 2025!!! ✯

[toomuchracket]

i fear ur dword bikini, and flatmate upskirting blurbs have awoken smth in me, just the idea of a slightly pervy, appreciative matty makes me 😳

thinking about pre-dating birthday party girlie doing a raunchy photo shoot for a magazine, because writers can be sexy too, and matty being the devoted fanboy ofc reads all of girlie's interviews,

i think this ask got cut off but i think i know where you're going with it. yeah, he gets off to you before you're together lol. thinking maybe the vogue shoot happens summer 22, so not long before you get together, and the theme is all about nakedness and vulnerability in connection with your forthcoming essay collection, which is your most personal and vulnerable yet (blah blah a result of lockdown loneliness blah blah); as such, you're in lingerie or half-dressed or naked in strategic positions/behind objects covering your modesty, but all done very artsy and tasteful and you actually makeup-and-hair-wise look really natural and beautiful. he sees your name on the cover while he's buying cigs, so he buys it, and gets the fucking shock of his life when he gets home and opens it to your feature to see what is essentially a tit pic. and it's been a long time since he had any action, and looking at you and reading about an essay from the collection you wrote about masturbation (the collection which he has a pr copy of and hasn't read yet!)... he can't help palming, at least, feeling awful about it but also reckoning that the creep factor is offset by how much he loves you for your brain (literal, not a euphemism) and your heart and humour and kindness, not just your body (which... holy fuck. it's a good one). and then he reads the essay in question, which is in part you DETAILING (poetically) how you've taken to getting yourself off imagining fucking someone (wink wink. guess who), and yeah he has to crank one out. but it's reciprocated - like i said, the essay is about you wanking thinking of him, and also you a couple of months later literally had to go and get yourself off in an msg bathroom after seeing consumption live during atvb. and soon after that you actually start fucking lol it's all good <3

[butyou-callmewhenyourebored]

This Must Be My Dream Universe - instagram series

yourinstagram This is a joke right? trumanblack rass1975

Liked by adam1975, charlixcx, trumanblack and 216 others

trumanblack Do what I like 🤷🏻

-> yourinstagram You're a dick -> denise_welch Honey don't tease her!

adam1975 If it makes you feel better, he tried to kiss me too!

-> yourinstagram A little but no offence Ads but I'm not jealous of the rat kissing you!

charlixcx I volunteer to kiss you when we finally meet?!

-> yourinstagram Deal! 😍

-> bedforddanes75 Can I watch?!

-> rass1975 Stop trying to steal my girl!

rass1975 I hated every second of it sweetheart!

-> yourinstragram I miss you! Can you come home now please!

-> rass1975 Soon I promise! 🖤

yourinstagram One from the archives! trumanblack bedforddanes75

Liked by charlixcx, carly.rh, denise_welch and 438 others

bedforddanes75 Is this the night we necked?

-> yourinstagram George!!! 😳 It might be? 👀 Also evidence this meeting was enough to not see you again for ten years

-> bedforddanes75 Sick! love you too 🙄

-> trumanblack Look at those youthful looking chaps!

-> yourinstagram Yeah! What the hell happened?!

fan1 Sorry who is this?

-> fan2 She's Matty's childhood best friend!

denise_welch What is this circa 2008?

-> yourinstagram Yes! Literal babies!

rass1975 To think we could have known each other all this time if our mate wasn't such a shit head!

-> yourinstagram I know! What a little rat!

yourinstagram Never been happier! 🥰

Liked by rass1975, adam1975, carly.rh and 723 others

comments have been restricted

charlixcx We know why you're glowing! 😏

-> yourinstagram Shhhh

rass1975 My girl 🖤

-> yourinstagram Always 🖤

trumanblack Get it girl 🍆🍆🍆

-> yourinstagram You're getting blocked

-> adam1975 Do it!!!

denise_welch I love seeing you so happy sweetheart!

-> yourinstagram Thanks Auntie Denise! ❤️

rass1975 happy wife happy life

Liked by yourinstagram, carly.rh, bedforddanes75 and 17,249 others

comments have been restricted

yourinstagram Always the happiest by your side my love 🖤

-> rass1975 I love you 🖤

trumanblack Funny what a good dick and some pasta will do

-> yourinstagram I hate you so much

charlixcx Goals! How I aim to be! 😍

-> yourinstagram Good to know G isn't satisfying you babe 😏

-> bedforddanes75 hate you

-> yourinstagram 😘

-> rass1975 hahahaha p.s thanks charli x

carly.rh My fave couple 💗

-> yourinstagram *gasp* But you're in mine! 💗

yourinstagram How did I get so lucky? Fuck Me! 😍🥵🤤

Liked by rass1975, taylorswift, charlixcx and 427 others

comments partially restricted

fan1 mood

charlixcx You guys make me sick 😵‍💫

-> yourinstagram Babe I have to look at you and G on a regular basis and that is just next level gross

-> bedforddanes75 Do we have a problem?

-> yourinstagram Yeah we do! Let's go big boi outside right now!

fan2 I would pay to see you fight George

-> trumanblack She'd win

trumanblack I mean he is quite a catch I would know

-> yourinstagram Stay away from my man Healy!

yourinstagram and rass1975 11.03.23 - ♾

Liked by charlixcx, bedforddanes75, carly.rh and 51,256 others

comments have been restricted

trumanblack I know I like to tease you both but in all seriousness thank you for making my best friend the happiest I've ever seen her. This goes both ways. I adore the both of you so so much. I love you!

-> yourinstagram I love you the most you know this (just not as much as my hubby) thank you for being my best friend and confidant my entire life. You mean the world to me.

-> rass1975 Thanks mate, love you x

charlixcx Watching you get married was a privilege, love you both so bloody much! 🖤

-> yourinstagram Thank you for being my maid of honour just needed our Carls there for it to be extra perfect! 💖

adam1975 Family for life! ❤️

-> yourinstagram Love you so much Ads! ❤️

bedforddanes75 Best wedding ever!

-> yourinstagram Love you G 🤍

denise_welch Ohhh my! My darling girl! I'm so happy for you! 💗

-> yourinstagram Thanks Auntie Denise! Can't wait to celebrate with you when we're back! 💗

rass1975 Love you to the moon and back Mrs McDonald! 🖤

-> yourinstagram I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you Mr McDonald! I love you to the cosmos and back! 🖤

Hope you enjoy this little instagram series for the This Must Be My Dream universe! I love reading everyone's little insta posts they make and was inspired to do my own whilst motivation is low to finish both my wips. So enjoy! Not sure why two of the pics have resized but you'll have to just deal with it because I don't have the patience right now to sort it! x

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Things I Noticed While Writing Light The Fuse: Part 13, Episode 5

I wasn't prepared for the amount of arm in this one 😳

That backseat sure looks comfy and roomy huh 😳

I count three bottles and two candy wrappers, and Johnson's the only one I ever see eating candy, he has a sweet tooth guys I'm so right

Who the fuck says indisposed when they mean sleeping, Matty?? Also hi I missed you 🥰💙 the framing of his hair around his tattoo is so nice ohmygosh so pretty

HEY WAIT I got so used to watching the extended version while writing that I forgot this shot was also extended in the shorter one! I forgot I got to see Matty stretching for the phone and Ethan getting all comfy how could I- I only noticed it when I went to gif the next shot! Evil, truly evil to deprive watchers of one or the other why did they do this 😩

I can't get over how sleepy they are. Ethan gets Death By Nutshot Via Phone and Matty gets to nap for a bit. He said that he's always up to watch the sunrise so I do not doubt he just went back to bed and that's why he's both grumpy and woke up before Ethan. Look at him get cozy again when his hands come up, wow, he's getting five more minutes and no one's gunna stop him 🥰

I really think he must be super tired and grouchy cause there's no way he'd forget about Ethan's mom after what he said, that doesn't compute to me even though the line is funny

I am staring. I am sweating. I am gripping my desk so hard the wood is cracking. Jesus fucking christ.

Also where did Ethan go, his door is open but he's not on the porch?

This was the moment I realized that I was In Love. Not just in love, but In Love. I even filmed it on my phone to share it with my sibling cause screencaps wouldn't cut it. This tells more of a story than I ever will. The blanket that was obviously shared for him to be comfy and warm, still folded and not even under his head. The many bottles and butts laying there. The cigarette still in his mouth. This man sat there smoking and drinking until he literally passed out while the other two had lovely sleeps in the car. Maybe Matty sat with him before taking the front seat cause Ethan stole the back first. My god, I love these men so much.

Plus the shelves being gone tells me the run is over but still going since they're obviously on the road and still need it. I left them there in my fic, no idea why they're missing other than he wants to spread out for the night. God I can't get over Matty just giving him a kick when a smooch would work just fine 😌 this is why I made Johnson such a quick riser, once he's up he is up

She was almost a mom again, his delivery in this scene is so on point, I also had a thought while I giffing this, but what if the tattoo on his wrist is for his dad? ;w;

I love the names they give these places so much lmao

I love his delivery here, he's getting so tired of all these questions, dude just wants to sleep for one single morning and not be asked 1000 details about his work in a suspicious manner

Gif 200! And it's for me to say that there had better be a bathroom around back or else Matty just pissed in the field :'D god were they trying to kill me by having him look like that though for r e a l also I checked the entire season, Matty wears this black undershirt multiple times, unless it's the two times Ethan does, where Matty does not, and both take place when they're not on runs and only have a few outfits each. Hiiiiiiiighly suspect, they're sharing clothes guys these men are dating

I lovelovelove Ethan being fed up with her, I love writing him knowing she's using him and giving her crumbs just to get her to stop, I love writing him pleading with her to leave Matty and Johnson out of whatever she's doing, and I love how much I get to ramp all of it up because he's still gotta go to her motel room with a gun

He says 11 days and not 'around 11 days' so that's how long each run is to me every time, they got a good travel system going

I went to comment on the candy because sweet tooth, Johnson has such a sweet tooth, and it's blue too (Matty's colour 💙), that bag is so full of treats, and Matty with his normal soda instead of beer for once, and then I noticed that Johnson's shirt is only half tucked in and my brain turned into white noise. Matty's pants match Johnson's shirt so well I'm going to eat my keyboard, and the cuffs being also high enough to show of his bright red socks, and THE SHOES. TOMORROW I'M TALKING ABOUT THE SHOES FINALLY GUYS.

They're both staring him down so hard here, they're really making sure he's fine after that call, I don't doubt they were watching him through the window like he was watching them

If I turned and saw this I'd just die.

I was going to attempt and do both unchanged scenes in this one, but I'm not going to do that, the amount of arm would send me into a stupor, see you tomorrow~ ❤️💙💛

[lottiecrabie]

Alternatively, mme crabie, student!Matty at the back of all of brooding intelligent girlies English lit, art, music classes at college

He’s class clown still because he hasn’t grown up and she doesn’t want any attention on her just wants to pass her classes and she can’t stand him and his antics BUT she is unfortunately paired with him for a major partner assignment that makes up most of their grade and takes half the semester and dot dot dot 🙂 🤨 😳

wait i think i’ve got a similar blurb i might finally get around to writing some day (or maybe a full fic cus i love the idea<3 but i shouldn’t send myself on fic quests i’m Bad at them) But them being academic rivals and they have completely opposite work ethics like he doesn’t take it very seriously and cracks jokes but he’s still extremely smart and well spoken and gets good grades. meanwhile you’re very dedicated and studious and you try to work as hard as you can to best achieve your good grades but matty just finds you Stuckup because of all of it. so even though you’re both interested in the same subjects you end up Hating each other and clashing

but you’re paired together for a project and ofc there’s just all this Tension because you’re atrocious at working together and it inevitably Explodes. and that competitiveness is still Present even if you’re making out and practically ripping your clothes off so you’re trying to be the one who blows the other’s mind off. But i also think you would maintain that academic competitiveness AKA you keep quizzing each other while straight up fucking. like about to give him the greatest head of his life and you’re like “tell me the differences in themes between sentimentalism and romanticism” and then work as hard as possible to make sure he can’t even Think of the answer, let alone do more than incoherent moans. but he does manage to answer, though difficultly, and then he’s getting on his knees and quizzing You on amatory fiction while you feel your brain boil out of your skull but you’ll be damned if you give up and have him win….

[bisluthq]

I think it could explain why some lyrics sound a bit insane. In her head, it just made sense. They were just kids when they met, they didn't work out then, but my relationship the one I really thought was soulmate coded forever just fell apart, it was all meant to be this way so we met again. And now you're telling me you're going to be better and my ex didn't wanna marry me but you will won't you? You will, idc if the world is against us being together, we just need to be together or nothing else makes sense. And like I just never been this happy in my life ever ever. It's just so magical it all came together and we're going to write music and you're always going to treat me like a Queen and it's just going to be great great cause I'm finally getting my happy ending

It really sounds a bit maniac when you put it like this. But again so is going around telling people you would both die without each other, cause you both are so crazy therefore you are so meant to be 🤪🤪🤪

bruh yk pour one out for their friends because like… they’re the real victims here. These two both acted so insane and then Matty did like the literal stupidest thing he could possibly have done in that situation - he had a number of option right so he could’ve asked for an announced break to think things over, he could’ve asked for an unannounced break to get some space, he could’ve asked for a full on breakup, he could’ve stayed and tried to keep his promises, or he could’ve done what he did lol - and now their friends are the ones sitting there having to be like 😳😳😳

also pour one out for the rest of the 75 lads who lost out on a whole ass Taylor Swift lead single collab and all the money that goes with it. No wonder THEY asked Matty for a break lol.

[itlivesproject]

here is the abel simp anon ILW FINALE thought dump (part 2! covers from when we play as devon until as we play as rowan)

2 months later? damn

NOW PLAYING AS DEVON??????? I HAD TO PUT THE GAME DOWN JUST TO GASP

….the memorial? oh dear grab the tissues

WE SAVED EVERY POSSIBLE SURVIVOR LET’S GO

connor is back and i am just as in love with him as ever

“Besides, you know how great a couple she and Abel make. I'm sure they're both doing great together.” i think i actually just squeaked

YOU CAN’T REMIND ME OF MAYOR GREEN.. AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO HER ???

and janie :(

loha… she deserved so much better :(

and finally, jessica, the start of it all (whose cg remains to be one of the best things i’ve ever seen in my life)

lincoln giving ratty matty’s money to a nonprofit for DA, that’s our guy!!!!!

i think lincoln aquino is a beautiful name! much better than the ties to the mcquoid name, i’m happy for him<3

amalia and jocelyn being besties? impeccable friendship

AND THE CURE IS WORKING! I’M SO HAPPY FOR THEM ALL

and amalia’s school record are fixed ??? THAT’S MY GIRL!!! SHE’S GONNA BE THE BEST LAWYER THIS WORLD HAS EVER SEEN

ELLIOT AND ROBBIE!!!!

harper and tom being the cutest for 1 minute straight

omg devon and harper having a handshake?? besties confirmed

CONNOR AND NOAH MY LOVES

someone pay for connor’s therapy PLEASE he will need bucket-loads of it at this point

THE COPS DROPPED NOAH’S INVESTIGATION?? MY BOY!! HE IS FREE!!!

“you know you can stay here for as long as you need” CONNOR AND NOAH ARE BEST FRIENDS CANONICALLY BECAUSE I SAY SO

noah’s mother hate club ‼️

sunny and luis deserve every happiness this world has to offer

ava thinking that being possessed was cool is so on brand😭

“Also, you need therapy.” dan keepin things real

the green siblings have my whole heart

CONNOR DIRTY THIRTY???????????? this is truly the best possible ending.

new music track????

“I love you when you're teasing me, I love you when we fight. love you when you're covered in blood or monster guts.” “Connor tells you these words every morning when you wake up, and every night when he goes to bed, but somehow, it always manages to feel like it's the first time he's said them.” he is the only man to ever exist. (alongside abel of course)

also connor, strong disagree with the chocolate in the fridge thing

STOP IT !???? PROPOSAL ???!?????? I STOOD UP. I WAS SAT DOWN AND I HAD TO STAND UP.

YES. HELL YES. MARRIAGE?!!

“Come on, sweetheart. Marry me?” WELL HOW THE HELL DO I SAY NO TO THAT???

i am grinning like a FOOL

“Your heart lifts to your throat as you examine the ring. It's so detailed, so personal. Leaves, like the forest around you, the forest you fell in love in. Your initials carved into the bottom. A diamond like you've always wanted.” i think i just died and went to heaven. HE IS THE CUTEST MAN EVER STOP IT

AND HE MADE IT HIMSELF? why don’t men like him actually exist.

i am now sat back down but i will stand back up if i need to. that is a threat.

THERES MORE?

“It's a house. With a yard for a dog, and enough rooms for guests and offices, and an address that doesn't confuse delivery drivers. It looks happy. And it's ours, if you want it.” the only reason i am not crying rn is because i am positively overwhelmed

i could literally quote all of his dialogue because it is all so incredible but i’m going to stop because this is long enough as it is😭

“God, you're so put together and capable. It's hot.” devon keeping it real

“Sweetheart, I love you, but all my lines work on you.” i said i would stop quoting connor and i lied, i just love him so much

“It’s no wonder there are deep grooves in the paint” YOU DIDN’T

for the one and only connor dirty thirty…. you guys nailed it (😏) also fun fact, if you remember getting as ask right at the very start of the project asking if connor green was in it and if we could bang him… that was me😳

“He wraps his arms around you, and it feels like coming home” ok it’s like you’re TRYING to get me to tear up now

(continued in part 3!)

-abel simp anon🤍

PART TWO

[ughgoaway]

tbh a night in with ice cream and gossip girl doesn't sound half bad...... but argh lowkey sometimes ur rambling is so relatable bc like do we all just carry the same mental gymnastics that everyone just hates us/have it against us 💀💀

protect ur peace honestly!! and here's a spam of some virtual hugs as mental support fr

not entirely the best at cheering people up bc i am down in the dumps more often than not but i just thought that there's this massive irony that u feel like that when i come to your stories of all things to distract myself when things go bad so 😭🖐️

just know that all of us attached to annie and mr dilf matty are all rooting for u!! and yeah bye idk i ramble but these little anon messages are kind of cute idk i always look forward to ur responses 😭❤️ hope u feel better soon ace!

- bff 😳 anon 😳

oh you are genuinely the sweetest person ever bff <333

tbh gossip girl cheered me up real quick bc it was a thanksgiving episode, and iykyk, they are iconiccccc. but really, what is it about people that make us think no one likes us??? it's mad

down in the dumps is a great way to describe it, I need to use that phrase more. but I am so glad my silly little blurbs make you feel a little better, that is such a nice thing to hear!!! makes me feel so much better knowing people like my rambling lol

having a person on the internet rooting for me is so sweet I could actually cry. I LITERALLY AM OBSESSED WITH YOU!! THANK YOU FOR BEING SO NICE UGH <333

these anon messages literally make me giggle and squeal every time!!! you bring me so much joy it's kinda crazy... I look forward to them all the time! I feel better now because of you bff!!!

[always-rolling-my-eyes]

As a The 1975 fan, I hope this is all bullshit PR for a song collab or to find a leak within her people or something, because no. Just no. Matty is problematic as hell on and off stage. His first two girlfriends were a questionable age difference. And don't get me started on Halsey.

And his mom. Denise Welch?! She's a mess on her own, not to mention she was pushing him and FKA Twigs to have a baby constantly according to her own words from Loose Women.

Someone please tell me it all came out a lie.

Everything I have ever learned about Matty Healy has been by force and it has always left me like 😬😳😧

With that being said, and I’m sorry, anon, but whatever this is, it is very much happening

But I get the feeling that it’s more of a rebound / hookup / friends with benefits type of thing, so I don’t foresee it lasting very long but 🤷🏻‍♀️

[punkscowardschampions]

Mafi Pt.3

Fi: it’s infuriating how you managed to pick the ideal dress to tempt me without knowing I’d be there to be tempted

Mattie: but you were x2

Fi: but you just walk around looking like a figure from mythology or something, all the time

Fi: and I’m the rude one

Mattie: you’ve seen how real I am underneath

Fi: yeah, your skin resembles porcelain, but thankfully is nowhere near as breakable

Mattie: yours was so warm, and soft, how it looks 

Fi: I haven’t been cold since I met you

Mattie: I’m dying to touch you again, with impunity

Fi: when will that be?

Mattie: When I can make myself look presentable, get off of this bed and think of a valid excuse to leave my parents in note form

Fi: leaving my door unlocked waiting and hoping means I could be murdered, an extremely valid excuse

Mattie: as long as you don’t ACTUALLY do that

Fi: it’s adorable when you worry about me as though I don’t have a literal 🏹 or 🤺

Mattie: I also don’t want you to leave for prison

Fi: I am too pretty, but I’m not getting convicted, be serious

Mattie: 😏

Fi: I don’t need you to look presentable, I know what that means

Mattie: you underestimate the mess I had got myself into, I think

Fi: I got you into it, let me fix it without it being a character flaw

Mattie: I was so mean

Fi: I’m not a boy, you can’t terrify me with how you actually look

Mattie: I don’t want to terrify you, I want you to look at me how you did before

Fi: you didn’t let me clean you up before either

Mattie: because I would have insisted you got me in another mess

Fi: did you find all the 💋?

Mattie: I feel like that’s an impossibility

Mattie: and you’re going to have to check

Fi: it’s a shame I’m not doing an art degree, I could hang you on the wall and be done with lectures and deadlines

Mattie: It’s an awful bore how life doesn’t stop when you touch me and only start again once you have to stop

Fi: it felt like my heart was gonna stop

Mattie: you mean I didn’t die and go to heaven?

Fi: when you finish what I started

Fi: [and then talk about your fave ner historical burial practices like do this for me so I know it’s real, cos again, I don’t know enough history]

Fi: oh and empty my bedside drawer, either for your own keepsake of what you missed out by killing me prematurely, or to spare my blushes

Mattie: 0 consideration for my own blushes, I see 😳

Fi: I tried to tell you, you don’t even know what’s waiting for you 

Mattie: I want to know

Fi: you’ll see

Mattie: when?

Fi: get out of your bed and into mine

Mattie: It won’t take me long, you’re close

Fi: I am, take that into consideration if I’m supposed to survive this

Mattie: Oh

Mattie: fuck

Fi: she doesn’t know how lucky she is to be alive, our mysterious stranger, leaving me to just exist in a state of frustration like that

Mattie: the cruellest punishment for doing the most incredible job, you poor thing

Fi: I’m sorry I snapped at you though

Mattie: don’t apologise

Fi: I thought it was the end, the worst ending ever

Mattie: me too, me too

Mattie: it can’t be, it’s unacceptable

Fi: you have more to lose, but I can’t lose you, Mattie

Mattie: No one is losing anything, it’s okay, we can do this

Fi: if I start crying again, I swear

Fi: ridiculous

Mattie: Only how I did, no more of the bad kind tonight

Fi: it’s the first time I’ve made someone cry that way

Mattie: I haven’t done that before either

Mattie: hopefully it’s not a new thing I’m going to do all the time

Fi: it’s okay if it is, however you react to me is

Mattie: you will tell me, if I’m doing it wrong

Fi: you’re not going to do it wrong, there basically isn’t a wrong unless you’re really confused geographically

Mattie: I may take Physics, but I have that much Biology under my belt, thank you

Fi: that’s happened before, now that poor girl was mortified to seriously be in the wrong place, if it makes you feel better about how embarrassed you felt earlier

Mattie: Oh no, she must have been too nervous, bless her heart

Fi: at least her nails weren’t too long, at school that was a constant problem, I’m sure I do have ptsd, a little

Mattie: Did you have many girlfriends during school?

Fi: no, I don’t think we can call them girlfriends

Fi: more experiments performed on me than ever in the school labs, would be closer to accurate

Mattie: I get you

Fi: I was happy to be a safe place for that, until I wasn’t

Mattie: you wanted something realer, if not a ‘girlfriend’ exactly?

Fi: it took its toll

Mattie: I can imagine, whether consensual, you were still being used

Fi: but I did the same to boys sometimes, before I get too woeful about the hand I was dealt

Mattie: I think it’s a fairly standard part of adolescence all round

Mattie: we all get hurt and hurt others

Fi: I had to know, not just make an educated guess

Mattie: of course

Mattie: you can’t limit yourself 

Fi: no boxes, I remember saying so

Mattie: you did, you’ve always seemed so sure of yourself to me

Fi: I try, despite all my parental figures efforts to the contrary, at different eras of my life

Mattie: it’s admirable as well as attractive

Fi: I don’t have lots of year 7 girls to set an example for anymore, but it still matters, I think

Mattie: I agree, it makes life easier, I imagine

Fi: aren’t you sure of yourself?

Mattie: no, I don’t think so

Fi: because of your shitty ex boyfriend?

Mattie: possibly but I don’t think we can blame him entirely

Fi: don’t worry, I’ll be certain to include the caveat it wasn’t entirely his fault before I murder him

Mattie: you’re so protective

Fi: you look after everyone so well, you deserve to be given the same treatment

Mattie: I hope you’ve taken your knickers off now too, I was a little disappointed you had some on, you never do in my dreams

Fi: I rarely do in life, but I was attempting to be vaguely well behaved, hilarious as it is to admit, in hindsight

Mattie: how did I know, how badly behaved you are

Fi: because you do know me, really

Mattie: yes

Mattie: and I like you so much

Fi: I’m afraid to try and type any L words

Mattie: like you were afraid to tell me

Fi: yes

Mattie: I’m afraid of who I am and the things I want to do to you

Fi: it’ll get easier

Mattie: you don’t know what I’ve fantasized about, it’s so bad but 

Fi: I will, and when I find out I won’t be afraid of you

Mattie: I wanna be bad too, sometimes

Fi: I’ve always let you

Mattie: you’re too nice to me, always have been

Fi: you can’t limit yourself either, if you can’t be yourself around me then when are you supposed to?

Mattie: this is me, and I have wanted to kiss you since the day I met you

Fi: I know, you’ve been flirting with me since that same day

Mattie: yeah, you’re too pretty

Fi: and what would that make you?

Fi: you have no idea how pretty you are

Mattie: I’m yours

Fi: I want you to be

Mattie: be my girl, Fi

Fi: okay, but it’ll be the last thing I do, because I’m also going to die

Mattie: you have to let me kill you first, it’s only fair

Mattie: you have me doubting if anyone else has ever made me orgasm

Fi: any doubt means no, they absolutely have not

Mattie: I’ve never

Fi: it should feel like that all the time, it will

Mattie: you swear

Fi: trust me, I’ll take care of you, properly

Mattie: okay, and I promise right back

Fi: I don’t know what to say because I don’t want to say too much

Mattie: precarious feels right

Fi: I’m so used to walking a line with you and not quite crossing it, especially when we talk

Mattie: yeah

Mattie: I sort of feel like I do that with everyone

Fi: but we can stop doing it with each other, can’t we?

Mattie: that’d be nice, wouldn’t it 

Mattie: we can try

Fi: I’ll try really hard 

Mattie: I’ll believe that when I see it, Caldwell 😉

Fi: I don’t believe for a second you think everything I do is effortless, you, for sure, know me better than that, miss

Mattie: I was more questioning how often I really saw you applying yourself outside of a sports pitch but sure

Fi: a more relevant question is how long you’ve spent observing me, playing sports or otherwise

Mattie: Hmm, but I set the questions so 🤫

Fi: but I have the correct answer, I know when to apply myself

Fi: I wanna be your girl

Mattie: You are

Fi: you’re not seriously sending me away to [see her own father, the audacity lol], are you?

Mattie: It’s Christmas 🥺

Mattie: surely he was and still is expecting you?

Fi: he’ll get over the fact I didn’t go quicker than I will you wanting me to spend what’s left of the hols anywhere else

Mattie: You remember the whole bit where we talked about not messing up your life, right?

Mattie: I don’t want to get in the way of any plans you already had, or obligations

Fi: I don’t want anything to get in the way of this

Fi: if he’s adamant about seeing me, I’ll spend the week you’re back in school and I don’t yet have to be

Mattie: If you’re sure

Mattie: I can’t send you anywhere if it is so against your will

Fi: I am

Fi: we’re going to have enough hurdles in the way of us spending time together without unnecessary trips being added

Mattie: Undeniably true

Fi: and nothing makes me sadder than how our reunion was ultimately bittersweet after not seeing each other for so long, which I can’t change now

Fi: I’m determined to do better with everything else

Mattie: Your focus had to be and was Uni, the balance is hard to work out but I am not opposed to trying to help you with that task

Fi: I thought I had to move on, but that couldn’t be more against my will

Mattie: there was no way for you to think differently, no room for the possibility to be acknowledged, never were we that alone, in private

Fi: and there was some fun while it lasted, the issue was always nothing could last when my heart wasn’t truly in it

Mattie: of course, I wasn’t suggesting nor hoping you were pining tragically or anything of the sort

Fi: I just need you to know how hard I tried to fight this, so when I say I can’t, you also know I sincerely mean it

Mattie: I believe you

Mattie: I’ve seen what a student with a crush but no common sense looks like, it isn’t you

Fi: it isn’t a crush, however many times I’ve told myself to dismiss it as such

Mattie: to call it that would only be an attempt to delegitimize it, at this point

Mattie: and it is not a thing I feel the need to engage with, not right now

Fi: you should definitely tell me about all the other students with crushes on you though

Fi: wait, no, I bet I can guess

Fi: [drop students names you think fancy her because of course you know, they’d have to be new for you not to]

Mattie: In defence of my not-actually-massive ego, I swear I was talking about all the teachers and all the potential crushes 

Mattie: but [one of the most blatant and thus tragic boys] is still persisting 😶

Fi: of course he is, you poor thing

Mattie: You think you’re safe if you stay away from the arts, alas

Mattie: poor boy

Fi: I’m a little offended, but not surprised, he didn’t get the message when I [something you did during the school year to get him to back off, which I won’t commit us to, for going back in time purposes] 

Mattie: Your threat doesn’t loom large enough now 

Fi: don’t say that, it’s like I never even existed 👻

Mattie: I have to be slightly cutting, lest you think I condone your actions

Fi: it’s 💎 clear which of my actions you wholeheartedly condone, rest assured

Mattie: Shh, don’t tease 

Fi: if you were here, I’d follow through

Fi: you’re the tease, for your frankly cruel, at this point, absence

Mattie: You know this town and its traffic

Mattie: besides, it isn’t your turn

Fi: luckily, I’m aware which of my reactions you’re into as well

Mattie: I won’t call you a know-it-all for it

Fi: call me what you like

Mattie: where do you even begin?

Fi: where would you have me wait, other than behind this unlocked door that hopefully won’t lead to attempted murder or manslaughter charges being brought while you’re stuck in traffic?

Mattie: You want me in your bed, don’t you

Fi: it isn’t my turn, what do you want?

Mattie: I want to meet you at your door, like you’ve been waiting for me

Fi: I am waiting for you, that’s the reality

Mattie: I want real

Fi: real like I’ve paced every square foot of this place because I can’t stay still?

Fi: if the adhd experts could see me now

Mattie: I’m looking at the pictures of you from tonight

Fi: I don’t look like that anymore

Fi: [as a shameless excuse to send her a pic of how you look now, which I imagine is adorable, because like me atm you’re just wearing a big t-shirt and nothing else]

Mattie: you look so sweet

Mattie: and I am not so woefully straight I need you to play the ‘man’ for me

Fi: I only acted in the one play, remember, I wouldn’t be able to pull it off

Mattie: I don’t know, you did well for Dolly until neither of us did

Fi: I almost didn’t take her up on the invitation

Mattie: why?

Fi: I told you, I was scared it would be an unpleasant surprise, for both of us, you because you didn’t want to see me again and I, because I’d convinced myself you’d invite someone too, and I couldn’t bear the thought

Mattie: there’s no plus one, no time to imagine who it could even potentially be

Fi: you know me, a fan of horrific torture

Mattie: bravery that isn’t going to go unrewarded

Fi: I don’t feel brave right now

Mattie: how do you feel?

Fi: weak, like a single touch from you is gonna have me on the floor

Mattie: I wouldn’t mind having you on the floor

Fi: covered in bruises feels apt, you’re bound to be marked with so much lipstick, still

Mattie: you saw to that

Mattie: I’m seeing to it you beg me to stay

Fi: I’d do that this second, and you’re not even here yet

Mattie: you might feel I’ve overstayed my welcome when you can’t get up from that floor after all I’ve done to you

Fi: I’ll leave it to you, you can try living alone there once I’m dead and buried because of what you’ve done to me

Mattie: abuse of power is starting to sound right

Mattie: I just want to see you come undone, the perfect head girl

Fi: I just need you to be the one to do it

Mattie: Who else can ruin you like I can

Fi: it’s never enough, whoever, whatever

Mattie: you want my tongue, my fingers, my eyes on you as you fall apart

Fi: yes

Mattie: it’s me you think about, my face and my body

Fi: you don’t leave my thoughts

Mattie: it’s you I imagine keeping my bed warm, you I want to come back to and make cum until you pass out, your beautiful lips I want to press myself against

Fi: stay until you can’t, I mean it

Mattie: give me reason to stay, gorgeous girl

Fi: give me every last second you have and I’ll give you everything you ask, things you haven’t begun to consider asking for yet

Mattie: my mind is perverse despite my lack of history

Mattie: I’ve considered asking you to do some very fucked up things for me

Fi: when you say them out loud, I’ll act on them without the slightest hesitation

Mattie: oh I know that

Mattie: you’re mine

Fi: you have history with me, I didn’t pause before, I won’t in the future

Mattie: you don’t care if you’re caught, not for you

Fi: my life is uncomplicated, complicate it for me

Mattie: I want you to miss me, to wish you’d spent every day of last year letting me fuck you all over that school

Fi: I have the blown out candles to prove I did, two birthdays worth of them now

Mattie: there’s an idea

Fi: and the ⭐️ as a permanent reminder of where I first let you touch me, not to mention how much I miss it

Mattie: I will draw another star with the wax, where you want me to touch you most of all

Fi: I’d let you make a candle out of me like they did in Paris during the French Revolution

Mattie: you’re the hottest nerd

Mattie: I would do unspeakable things to candle you

Fi: to allow you to stay this beautiful, I insist

Mattie: how badly you want it makes it all the better

Mattie: beg me to use you

Fi: I do hope you realise it’ll be the first time I’ve begged anyone for anything in my entire life

Mattie: that’s why you need it so much

Fi: you truly are going to unravel me completely, I’ll have no clue who I am after this

Mattie: if the burn doesn’t suffice as a reminder, I can tell you who you are in so many ways

Fi: tell me I’m yours again

Mattie: you’re mine, completely, no one else can have you

Fi: this is real

Mattie: the way I am going to possess you and all your thoughts couldn’t be realer

Fi: perhaps not, but you’ve said similar things in my dreams

Mattie: you aren’t going to be able to deny my fingers deep inside you

Fi: true, it’s already obvious I’m not going to be able to deny you anything ever

Mattie: you don’t want to, you want to please me

Mattie: and nothing will please me more than having you obsessed with me and when and where you’re next getting fucked

Fi: you’ve achieved getting me to the point of obsession with the way you speak

Mattie: I wish I had told that girl to go, what we were busy doing

Fi: it’s okay, you telling her off would have actually been too much for me, the state I was in

Mattie: It made us waste more time

Mattie: and fight

Fi: we’ll make the time up

Fi: and we don’t have anything else to fight about, so we aren’t likely to again in a hurry

Mattie: I can’t be fighting, I don’t care if its Christmas, there’s too much else to be doing and feeling

Fi: no fighting, sweet pea, I surrender completely

Mattie: 🥰

Mattie: what I like to hear

Fi: But oh no, it’s a terrible rhyme, I’ve written you awful accidental poetry! 😬

Fi: thank god that’s a secret 🤫🔒

Mattie: Prose and verse are not my forte on any given day but I can assure you my head is far too foggy to think your words are anything but beautiful

Fi: mine either, I can barely string a sentence together at the best, or worst, of times

Fi: my head and heart both race too far past being capable

Fi: your support makes me feel like not a total dunce regardless, it has to be said, it always did

Mattie: that makes you passionate and engaged, you have thoughts on thoughts, that’s the opposite of anything even the bitchiest teacher could call a ‘dunce’

Fi: said bitchiest teacher let me know passion and intelligence are poles apart, in no uncertain terms, should I be in any danger of getting that twisted

Fi: but I’m fine with only indulging my passions, I have the luxury

Mattie: I don’t know how she could claim to have experience with either, honestly

Fi: it’s purely a job requirement in theory

Mattie: there’s no room for that outdated approach

Fi: keep inspiring students to become teachers and you’ll soon leave no room for it, she’ll be pushed out with the rest of her sort 🦕

Mattie: I think that’s any decent person's goal, see things move forward after you, not clinging on for dear life

Fi: agreed, hard as it is for me not to cling onto the school for dear life sometimes

Mattie: Give yourself some grace, it hasn’t been long enough to call you tragic quite yet

Fi: My new home is great, which helps

Mattie: You’ll have to give me the grand tour

Fi: you’ll have to stay long enough to be able to get out of bed

Mattie: you’ll be asleep before long

Fi: you’re shining such a telling spotlight onto everybody else you’ve slept with, no wonder you had those orgasm doubts

Fi: because I promise you, I won’t be considering sleep at all until you’ve gone

Mattie: 😏 well I will be, I love sleep, thank you

Fi: 🐻🍯🐯

Mattie: wouldn’t hibernating be glorious!

Fi: perhaps I’ll be a convert once you’re sleeping next to me, I’ve never gotten over how you looked or I felt when [a scenario whereby Mattie fell asleep lowkey on Fi, I pictured school trip again like on a coach, but it could be any opportunity for this during the school year tbh including travelling back from an away school match, the point is, Mattie falls asleep and Fi doesn’t move a single muscle the entire time so she won’t accidentally wake her and tells everyone to shh so they won’t either, because gay to show she managed to keep still even though she isn’t that bitch and important to show she is a well liked bitch who everyone listened to when she made them be quiet, students and other teachers too and Mattie eventually wakes up like oh you did all that]

Fi: either way, I surrendered, so if it’s hibernation you want, my best attempt at turning my bedroom into your own cosy bear cave is what you shall have

Mattie: [turn up and we know the vibe]

[nriacc]

So excited for the new chapter 💜

Once again, really sorry its not the full chapter today (I swear if I finish it early I'll post it before next Friday) but heres a long teaser of part 23! Enjoy the start of the chaos 💜 (this is not edited)

You look hot and you know it. In the picture, you’re raising your wine glass in the air and you have a big grin on your face and you post it with no hesitation with the caption:

Felt cute, might send to Matty or Alex later, who knows x

The replies you got to that one made you giggle as you went about the rest of your evening. You’re not stupid, you know full well that they all follow you because of who your associated with, and usually you don’t give them anything. Not unless it's an album release or a birthday.

But tonight, that was inevitably going to change because the drunker you get, the more you start to use your twitter as a shitposting blog.

That mostly started when George replied to that picture you posted on twitter saying, ‘Rude to leave people out Y/N/N 😤‘ and you shamelessly replied, ‘Sending you a better one now babe 😜 xxx’

And you opened WhatsApp up immediately and sent him the full version and a few different ones that were a bit racier, to which you received the following texts:

😳😜🥵🤤💦

Fuck me baby you look stunning xxx

It was needless to say that you had to hide into your settee when that came through and silently scream. Will you ever not be obsessed with this man?

After flirting with George for a while, Twitter ends up taking up your attention again. And the more alcohol you ingest, the more chaotic you become.

By 10pm you were very merry indeed, your shit posting had got to a new level and you couldn’t bring yourself to stop. And if you’re honest you really didn’t want to.

So far you’d had a ball. And all your finest moments were documented for everyone to see.

20:13 - Is it depressing that my last Valentine’s Day card I got was from my ex ex? Like the last one just forgot so me and @/ybf went out for food instead

Brandon can such your dick, what a twat of a boyfriend. Why you ever went out with him you will never know.

20:21 - Yes, I do mean matty considering so many of you were asking. He's a sweetheart @/trumanblack xxx

After seeing quite a lot of tweets come up with everyone thinking that your second to last ex was Alex, you feel the need to put the record straight. After all, it’s the truth, and one of the mantras that Matty always sticks by is that anyone can take anything as long as it's true, what people can’t take is when they’re told lies.

20:33 - right no, I was never actually going out with Alex, especially in february 2014. i was depressed as fuck

That set off a whole bunch of replies then because people started posting the first paparazzi picture of you and Alex kissing in the park back on the AM tour. And they were captioning it, explain this then Y/N. And of course, you being into your second bottle of wine at this point have no issue replying to it.

20:39 - that was from like june 2014 and have you all never kissed your best friend before?

20:40 - Who HASNT kissed their best friends, i mean really?

You end up replying to your own tweet then, saying, No i won’t be elaborating x but you go against that almost immediately when you see everyones replies betting on Alex or Matty being better.

20:52 - You’re all asking if Matty or Alex is the best kisser and i hate to break it to you, the reality is that its @/ybf x

When it reached 9pm, you must’ve lost your head as you moved your candles from the bathroom into your bedroom because once you’re comfy sitting on your bed, the amount of shit you start posting hits a new peak.

Your stupid fucking electric corkscrew decided to die on you so live tweeted out Ran out of batteries 😭😭😭 which you don’t realise is a bad idea after 15 minutes of silence. But that's for you to embarrassingly realise in a few hours.

Obviously loving the way you’re feeling tonight, you end up taking a picture you initially intended to send to George. But sharing is caring so you decide to post it on twitter too.

It’s of yourself holding your wine glass against your thigh and your dress is riding up a little meaning that the lace covered slit that goes up your thigh makes you feel sexy. You feel even better knowing for a fact that you look fucking amazing today and you don’t even hesitate before posting it on twitter with the caption:

21:34 - wish google would stop showing me sex ads. I know there are desperate women in my area, I have a mirror

Someone makes you laugh a few minutes after you post that when they asked, How does Adam deal with you making out with Matty????. Brilliant question, 10/10, they know how to make a drunk woman talk. You retweet it with a comment immediately.

21:39 - He hated it with his entire life. Still hates whenever someone mentions it. Me with anyone really, but i guess it's worse when its his best mate #sorrynotsorry

You get lost in your memories for a few minutes and you start laughing at a skating memory back in the day.

21:43 - @/gdans1975 @1975hann remember back in the day when we were at the skatepark and @/trumanblack ate shit in the bowl and I had to go save him 😂

And you all but gasp in excitement when you start typing your next tweet.

21:45 - OMG WHO WANTS TO HEAR SOME EMBARRASSING STORIES ABOUT BABY ADAM?!?!?!

Barely a minute passes then and you get a text message through from your cousin saying ‘DONT YOU FUCKING DARE, REMEMBER I CAN SPILL YOUR SECRETS TOO’. You almost spill your wine laughing at that coming through.

You end up taking a screenshot of that coming up at the top of your screen and tweeting it saying, Sorry guys, not allowed 😢😂

One that makes you smile a little is, An embarrassing story about one of the monkeys please and thank you xoxox. Of course, you do them dirty and you give them one.

21:52 - On the AM tour, Matt being the gentleman he is paid for all our food one night we went out and as he was paying two condoms fell out of his wallet. Needless to say breana was so embarrassed he did not need them that night x

A few others make you giggle but you don’t find another to reply to until you nearly spit out your drink.

You burst out laughing at, What does Alex Turner smell like, and you're still chuckling as you reply.

22:03 - exactly what you think he smells like, aftershave and cigarettes x

You laugh louder at, What does matty smell like!!?!???!!!!?!

22:05 - once again, exactly what you all predict, aftershave and weed x

You’ve never hit that retweet button faster other than when you see, THE REAL QUESTION IS WHAT DOES GEORGE SMELL LIKE!?!

22:06 - LIKE ALEX AND MATTY!!!!!! GEORGE HUGS ARE THE BEST ❤️💕💖💞😘😍🥰 LOML

~*~*~*~

You're all not ready for what comes next...

[princesstillyenna]

I am in need of two alignment charts that I feel you would be well suited for:

One for the nhl mascots

One for the group chat boys (TK and EJ can tie for chaotic good)

Wait you mean like... trad style DnD alignment charts??? This is going to be so fucking contraversial so I wanna make sure y'all know BEFORE you see this THIS IS THEIR GROUP CHAT PERSONAS OK???? This does NOT reflect their On Ice personas (although some are influenced by their On Ice Personas)

OK because I know you're mad about some of those Cale is Lawful Good, because he is a good boy who follows all the rules and will follow the spirit of the rules just to make you happy and hates making people sad Dylan is Neutral Good, because he wants everyone to be happy but also he will break the rules if it's funny enough and he does have a tendency to take a joke too far Matty is Chaotic Good, he will do whatever it takes to make the people in his life happy, possibly to the detriment of others, but if you're one of his people, he will fight tooth and nail for you. The rules do not apply to Matthew ESPECIALLY when it comes to making the people in his life happy. Sid is Lawful Neutral which to me has always been the embodiment of "I will follow your rules to the LETTER which includes finding any loopholes which may or may not benefit me" he won't outright BREAK the rules but if he feels they don't apply to him, he'll find a really clever way around them and then end up being the reason the rules have to be rewritten. Connor is True Neutral - sorry Connor, I KNOW YOU HAVE A PERSONALITY I just thought this was too funny not to. He's the middle man in every single argument ever. Eddie is Chaotic Neutral, no explanation needed. I challenge any of you to argue with that one tbh. Carter Is Lawful Evil - ok, hear me out on this one, Carter will always follow the rules, but if he can follow the rules in such a way that makes the people around him deeply uncomfortable... he absolutely will. I'll do you a snippet to follow this to explain why. But he just is. On the rare occasions he DOES break the rules, he will flirt with the refs (or whoever is in charge of the rules) until they eventually admit that the rules were probably wrong and Carter is definitely not a bad person.... 100% lawful evil there. Gabe is Neutral Evil: Gabe has his OWN AGENDA ok, and nothing matters except HIS AGENDA. His agenda includes (but is not limited to), Jeff and Eric getting married and letting him be best man, Tyson NEVER HAVING A RELATIONSHIP because Gabe doesn't like the idea that Tyson could love someone more than he loves Gabe but at the same time, Gabe is well aware he doesn't love Tyson back, Sid never retiring and moving to Denver because then he would get less Nate time and probably less EJ time too... Basically, in Gabe's world it is Gabe Landeskog first, and everybody else second. EVIL. (Please note, this is group chat Gabe not real life Gabe, I'm sure real life Gabe is a sweetheart... also I'm not sure WHY gc gabe is Evil, he just is) And finally, Chaotic Evil is EJ, obviously, because he lives by the mantra of "Is it Funny and Horny, if so, DO IT" because... EJ. I honestly think that one is pretty sound also... OK finally, before I go, a snippet from the GC that happened some time in the past Hartsy: Behave!

Cale:😳😳 Sorry sir ☹

EJ: OK, new GC rule, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL YOU BOYFRIEND SIR IN THE GROUP CHAT

TBeauts: SECONDED

Gabe: THIRDED FOURTHED AND FIFTHED

TK: Yeah I’m with the Avs on this one. Nope

Cale: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT 😭😭😭😭

Cale: I am sorry ☹ I didn’t mean to make you guys feel uncomfortable

Hartsy: It’s ok bb, I know it was an accident

Hartsy: And not calling me Sir in the gc is a perfectly reasonable rule to set 😊

Hartsy: … I’ve never had a problem with you calling me Daddy instead 😉

EJ: CLAUDE GIROUX COME GET YOUR BOY

Claude: If you think I’m not eating popcorn while I read this you’re wrong

Claude: Hartsy I’m so fucking proud of you

Danny: Hey Clo…..

Claude: Yeah?

Danny: That’s our boy that is :D

Danny: #TeamProudDad

Claude: 🤣🤣🤣 (OH P.S. I HAVE A MASCOT PHOBIA I'M NOT DOING THE MASCOT ONE)

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Things I Noticed While Writing Light The Fuse: Part 6, Episode 3

Oh boy I can tell already I might need to split this one up into several posts again let's jump right in

Proud of them 🥰 Bru's also so funny lol hey wait why did Ethan look at Matty I didn't even write this ep 😮

Another rare mention of time, it's every single one of these small mentions that made me switch the timeline from an estimated year or many months down to just two.

Why is Johnson leaning so far isn't that like so uncomfortable??

Okay I went to gif this because Matty's hand on his thigh is driving me insane but then I noticed that Ethan is sitting so spread he might actually just have his leg touching Johnson's 😳

I love how he's speaking to everyone and he's still like 'this is all on you' while Johnson is free from the lecture the entire time. I love writing Johnson's interactions with Joel so much for reasons that aren't revealed yet and I wish the show gave me some so they all weren't just me ;w; and again Joel is hot but not my quite type but if he did this to me I'd 😳

I love this bit so genuinely. The Brawlers are strong and in power. They have the cops paid off. They make so much money. These are good times like Joel says, but he also isn't high and mighty and overpowered. He's been through the old war and he doesn't want it to happen again. Fuck I seriously love this guy I love writing him so much and I'm so incredibly excited for the episode 8 chapter you don't even know

They're all so beautiful

This isn't my Phoenixes but I love the detail of his chain being attached to a knife, not a wallet, and he uses it to whittle the giraffe for Lyla ;w;

Since I'm on this scene, it's also interesting that the clock in the background is broken to keep up the timeless theme, I don't think I've seen a single clock in this whole thing and if I did I completely missed it

I really love Ethan's serious face here, I wonder if he was this assertive before he met Matty and Johnson cause he seemed pretty restrained back at the restaurant even when he was getting mad

Fuck off Witt 😒

Or you could stay. It makes me actually kinda sad that he's still trying to get away here

Angel! But really I'm so curious as to who she is to him, like am I right?? Is this Matty's girl or usual Pinup? Are they together in some sense or are they friends? I don't think she sells anything to him since that seems to be Meredith's whole thing, so I'm gunna continue calling her Angel and writing her story for the writers okay it's canon now

Had to gif this entire exchange because their relationship is so important to me. This boy has always been a single child and now he knows what it's like to have a little sister ;w; him letting out the longest resigned sigh known to man is the funniest thing to me apart from his little smirk in the 4th gif oh my god I love him so much, gets bullied once and agrees

Would've loved to do the next scene as well since they're all together but I couldn't resist all the Matty, so all of that will be saved for tomorrow~ 💙

[bisluthq]

I'm just annoyed how nobody in the mainstream fandom will even talk about Matty and how much he MATTERED to her and the implications of how she thought she was already engaged to him when she ditched Joe for him and then everybody pretends to be deaf and ignores the content of the actual album which I found easily digestible and only slightly shocked she didn't demonize Joe more (something about their Golden Love becoming Tin or his heart being Tin or something). Taylor's pretty direct.

oh, I personally was very shocked by the contents of the album. I really was expecting a very different thing. I thought she’d do an introspective thing OR have been like “I can’t believe I was so sad I fucked Matty Healy y’all” but instead she wrote loml and the black dog and the title song and TSMWEL and COSOSOM and I Can Fix Him and ICDIWABH and all this shit about how desperately in love with Matty she was and how much it hurt her when he left 😳

I did NOT expect that. I really fucking didn’t.

[punkscowardschampions]

Lulu & Sekhmet Pt.2

Sekhmet: You’re such a beautiful distraction

Sekhmet: Mattie should thank you for the stress relief you’re providing all these boys

Sekhmet: and her but she’ll be 😶 about that one

Lulu: She will and they’ll all thank me too

Sekhmet: they need to shower you in cum

Sekhmet: you deserve everyone’s cum

Lulu: then they can thank me again for watching me swallow every 💧 because I love to and hate when paranoid daddys don’t wanna let me

Sekhmet: They won’t be able to resist

Sekhmet: never mind Mattie when she finds out squirting isn’t just something she saw in that one porn that ONE time

Lulu: They shouldn’t, I’m totally pure and ✨🧼 absolutely nothing bad is going to happen

Sekhmet: You’re the exact type of girl who deserves everything they can give you, don’t they know

Sekhmet: You’re a total princess

Lulu: I need to work harder making sure they know how I become brand new because of you

Sekhmet: You’re like snow no one has walked on yet

Lulu: Scoop me up and eat me

Sekhmet: Melt when I touch you

Lulu: always, I can’t help it

Sekhmet: I want you to be done with school all over again

Lulu: I’ll go back when Mattie’s ready to show me something worthwhile

Sekhmet: It’s only worth it for that, and the playing you can do with everything else

Sekhmet: but I still miss you so bad it hurts, regardless

Lulu: I like the way it hurts, me and you

Sekhmet: I haven’t forgot about your tattoo

Sekhmet: that’s going to hurt in a similar way, have you feeling all types of ways on the table

Lulu: Me either, we have to hurry so it can heal before Gabe sees it

Lulu: or he can’t be wondering when I did it, asking himself if I was underage or not

Sekhmet: That’s how he liked you best, obvi

Lulu: Oh no! What if we’ve left it too late, I’m reading that the healing can take WEEKS 😭

Sekhmet: We’ll keep on it and take super good care to keep your skin so soft and moisturized

Sekhmet: anyway, you want it to be a little bit tender, don’t you

Lulu: Yes

Sekhmet: You’re going to want me to put this somewhere super sensitive, all the attention I’m gonna give you

Lulu: I want you to put it on me yourself, you’re an artist, right?

Sekhmet: Yes

Lulu: Okay then, come and do it

Sekhmet: I’m actually heading to you though, you’ve nearly made it, babe

Lulu: But where are you EXACTLY, you know I’m detail orientated

Sekhmet: [your uni is in London so we can say it’s gonna be a minute]

Lulu: Thank you 😊

Sekhmet: How sleepy do you feel now?

Lulu: You’re my speed, I’m like a little girl on christmas eve waiting on you

Sekhmet: that’s the best thing 😭

Sekhmet: I love you so much OMG

Lulu: You can say it with your whole chest when you show up, I still want and need 🍼 if I’m going to calm down at all and be fit for the afternoon lessons

Sekhmet: You’ll crash, baby

Sekhmet: you know damn well I’m going to wear you out

Sekhmet: you’ll be so pretty and refreshed for your date, don’t worry

Lulu: God, just wear me constantly, please

Sekhmet: I do need to permanently attach you to me, sick of being separated for ANYTHING

Lulu: Real babies get to hang there suspended in what looks TOO much like a 😈 harness and nobody says anything

Sekhmet: what I’m hearing is I need to get you in a sex swing immediately

Lulu: The beams in the dining room would be perfect for it 🙏🏻

Sekhmet: We have to go 😈 shopping, there’s some really cool places I know

Sekhmet: [the dude from all the way back at the start] is paying, of course

Lulu: Ideally, we wouldn’t keep any of it at home and it’d be out there waiting in the chapel for us to use but that’s gonna mean we have to share it and no, none of MY toys

Lulu: Show me, I haven’t been IRL shopping in the longest time

Sekhmet: It’s so typical that he’s the one priest that isn’t into the good 😈 shit

Sekhmet: [the kind of shop that gives the peep show energy of letting you try and buy, because duh, we don’t mean some seedy cheap place]

Lulu: Oh… WOW, I didn’t know places that cool existed 😳

Sekhmet: Wait ‘til I take you to a real dungeon

Sekhmet: there’s so much for us to explore

Lulu: You’re the nicest

Sekhmet: I want to open you up to every possibility

Lulu: It feels as if there are more than there even are possible moves in chess, which, as a thought, is seriously doing things to my recovered composure

Sekhmet: You’re prettiest in pink, composure is overrated when you make desperation look so incredible

Sekhmet: I do find concentrating on our chess lessons VERY hard thanks to you

Lulu: I’m not sorry on either count

Sekhmet: Don’t be

Sekhmet: trying to think about anything BUT baby you with your chess pieces is the most fun 🥵

Lulu: If I had photos of that I’d break the rule I made about not letting you see the baby albums

Sekhmet: I’d simply never recover

Sekhmet: that’s how I know you’re my baby, not hers

Lulu: You wouldn’t, the mental pictures I have are 💀

Sekhmet: I would’ve only ever wanted playdates with you 😍

Lulu: You haven’t told me about your first

Sekhmet: There’s lots of firsts

Sekhmet: I know I used to do it like, everywhere, when I was a real baby, any time I felt like it

Sekhmet: ‘cos they had to tell me it was for private time only 😖 I didn’t know

Lulu: They don’t know what they’re talking about, you were right then and you’ve been right ever since

Sekhmet: You’d encourage me to make myself happy whenever I wanted, wouldn’t you

Sekhmet: You could’ve been one of the girls I showed my trick too, like see what we can do 🥺 I was too sweet

Lulu: I am the first girl you’ve shown your other tricks to though

Sekhmet: You’re my only girl, I share everything with you

Lulu: I would’ve taken a ridiculous amount of baths with you, it was my favourite, real Ariel energy

Sekhmet: Washing your hair is magical

Sekhmet: making sure you’ve cleaned every inch of yourself

Lulu: Dolly can move the fuck over or get held under, we don’t need her

Sekhmet: She can enjoy the view from the back of me whilst I’m focusing on you

Lulu: she only wanted to try and hold her breath anyway, like I said, needlessly dramatic

Sekhmet: then she’ll appreciate us holding her head down

Sekhmet: you do that and I’ll keep her arms behind her back so she can’t struggle

Lulu: as long I can keep the hair I pull out, because you’re going to get scratched and I don’t wanna be left out

Sekhmet: Of course

Sekhmet: Mattie would be proud

Sekhmet: just sister things

Lulu: Don’t, she has to understand how hot that is, I refuse to believe she had no idea what she was doing to me!

Sekhmet: SERIOUSLY

Sekhmet: who says things like that without wanting to get someone 💦

Lulu: How my mouth didn’t fill with blood idk

Sekhmet: Do you think it’s just her fantasy of what she wanna be like with you

Sekhmet: or her and Jay used to get into it

Lulu: It’d explain why Jay doesn’t wanna get into it with her fiance but no, I don’t want it

Sekhmet: She missed baby you as much as me, that’s it

Sekhmet: she had time to think about how it could’ve been

Lulu: I’m her favourite sister, we both read it

Lulu: I’m special

Sekhmet: 🌟✨

Sekhmet: you’re so lucky, you know

Sekhmet: I want it

Lulu: She doesn’t even like girls except for me, I can tell, it’s because I’m more than that

Sekhmet: you’re her blood, her flesh…

Lulu: exactly, it’s about what’s inside

Sekhmet: Why won’t my sisters be nice like that 🥺

Lulu: Your parents made them too healthy, it’s bad luck 😭

Sekhmet: I have to be sick all alone

Lulu: not anymore, you’ve got me

Sekhmet: Yeah

Lulu: Don’t be upset, if you truly want to I’m sure you could turn Jay sick, I’m just mad at her

Sekhmet: I just want someone to risk it all for me like that

Lulu: so get after it, I know what you’re capable of

Sekhmet: I’m just jealous and silly

Lulu: You’re perfect

Sekhmet: besides, even if she doesn’t like me, you can still make Mattie play with me too

Lulu: Oh please, how could she not, everyone likes you

Lulu: she doesn’t know who you really are yet, that’s all, but she will

Sekhmet: when she knows we’re wifey, she’ll look at me different, it’s true

Sekhmet: 🥰 I feel better now

Lulu: You’re literally the cliche of those gods and goddesses looking down at people thinking they’re missing out on something when there’s nothing to see, you’re far, far above her or me

Lulu: maybe we’re special 👌🏻 but compared to other humans, not your next level idol status

Sekhmet: You’re not human

Sekhmet: you’re an angel, I created you and you protect me and spread my message

Sekhmet: and you understand me TOO well 😥

Sekhmet: it’s a burden, being a one-off

Lulu: Okay, I am, but she’s SO human, you don’t need to be jealous

Sekhmet: I want it for you more than I’m ever going to be jealous

Sekhmet: it’s too hot to pretend and pout

Lulu: I love you more than I’m ever going to love her, the fact is she’s got limits, you’re fucking limitless

Lulu: I love you more than chess because you have so many more moves

Sekhmet: Everyone else is a plaything, a toy, okay

Sekhmet: even if we break her limits and break her, it’s because of US, we’re the ones who did that

Sekhmet: she’d play victim after, just like Dolly

Sekhmet: you can’t make the same mistake again

Lulu: I promise I won’t

Sekhmet: I won’t let you love her ‘til it kills you

Lulu: You have to save me from myself as much as you saved me from them

Lulu: I can’t lie and pretend that isn’t true, however much it makes me feel bad, I’m not perfect like you are

Sekhmet: You aren’t perfect, you’re special

Sekhmet: you have so much love to give, I’m not going to see it go to waste, not a single drop

Lulu: You know I’m broken, I remember

Sekhmet: I’m only trying to protect you, never hurt you

Lulu: We both know why you thought I’d go back on this, you can see the disgusting part of me that craves normalcy in spite of everything and I feel it, there inside, fucking taunting me all the time

Sekhmet: I recognized it because I see it in me

Sekhmet: all normal is going to do for us is make us feel less than

Sekhmet: we have to let it go, to be totally free

Lulu: Help me to do it and I’ll help you

Sekhmet: It’s a vow, okay

Lulu: 🩸🙏🏻💍💋

Sekhmet: you’re the only person I’d marry not for money

Lulu: I’m old enough, go ahead

Sekhmet: Bitch, don’t tempt me

Lulu: What by saying buy me a ring and I’ll model it for you? It works too well for everything else for me not to try

Sekhmet: I spoil you, I know

Sekhmet: but I’m trying to be good and let you be wild and free

Sekhmet: I could HAPPILY chain you up in nothing but heels and make you wait for me to come home, don’t play me

Lulu: There’s nothing wilder or freer than you saying fuck it and getting on your knees to propose to me rn

Lulu: I’d say yes, I always do

Sekhmet: You just wanna wear another pretty dress and have a party

Sekhmet: same, obviously

Lulu: I can wear a pretty dress and have a party whenever, who’s stopping me?

Lulu: We could be married before Jay has had a legit hen party never mind a wedding, engaged before we see Gabe…

Lulu: don’t act like you don’t want it

Sekhmet: Alright

Sekhmet: you want to make it official, let’s do it

Lulu: Give me a proper yes, I need to know you’re not playing

Sekhmet: Tell me that you really want it

Sekhmet: that this isn’t just another chess move

Lulu: What kind of test this time? Whatever it takes

Sekhmet: No test

Sekhmet: we’ll just see how far it goes before one of us says stop

Lulu: I’ll never say it, not to you

Sekhmet: Then you’re gonna end up with my name on you

Lulu: Good, it’d be an awful end otherwise

Sekhmet: You should be in this car so I can kiss you right now

Lulu: I am, I’m everywhere you’ve ever been, thought about going, where you are and anywhere you’re going to go for as long as you exist

Sekhmet: I already own you, don’t I?

Lulu: Completely

Sekhmet: You want everyone to know, in every way we can think of

Sekhmet: Ink and diamonds is just the start

Lulu: It’s the obvious, because nobody else is as smart as us

Sekhmet: They can’t ignore it if we’re blatant and unrepentant

Lulu: my parents can’t even

Sekhmet: It’s actually impossible this time, everyone has to acknowledge us

Lulu: An engagement dinner is the perfect first meeting, you can’t deny it or me

Sekhmet: we’re cute together, who can say otherwise

Lulu: They can try but it’s lies and attempted manipulation

Sekhmet: our wedding would be so much better than theirs

Lulu: better than anyone’s, real or imagined

Sekhmet: you’d literally be the perfect example of a blushing bride

Lulu: I want you to cry when you see me coming towards you, give me that cliche and I’ll give you yours

Sekhmet: I bet you dreamed about your wedding all the time when you were a little girl

Lulu: Of course

Lulu: I made a scrapbook, I still have it

Sekhmet: you’re the perfect girl

Sekhmet: you can show me that with the baby album

Lulu: Are you honestly saying you won’t marry me until you find out what an ugly child I was?

Sekhmet: Baby

Sekhmet: I love you, especially little you, so yes, you have to let me see

Lulu: Fine, but I’m closing my eyes while you look

Sekhmet: Good, you don’t need to see how excited I am 😍

Lulu: I’ll be able to feel it, and hear how loud and fast your heart is

Sekhmet: I don’t promise to keep my hands to myself

Lulu: then I’ll also be able to hear way more other sounds than I figured, not just every little gasp and shuddery intake of breath I was expecting you to make over the pictures

Sekhmet: Eyes closed/blindfolded heightens your other senses, it’s definitely true

Sekhmet: just thinking about if I want you to cum all over whatever prince charming you stuck in this scrapbook or if that’d make little you sad 😢

Lulu: You know little me better than that

Sekhmet: I really do, sick as it makes me

Lulu: If you want sick, wait until you see who my scrapbook grooms were, I REALLY outdid myself 😶

Sekhmet: Is it your grandad?

Sekhmet: If not I am shook

Lulu: I said wait and see, I can’t tell you, sorry

Sekhmet: TEASE 😱

Lulu: 😘

Sekhmet: I’m going to start auditioning guys immediately

Sekhmet: so we have a place, and don’t have to deal with any of the other bullshit

Lulu: OMG! I’m getting involved too, idc what else there is on my to-do list

Sekhmet: [the draft of the ad we’re gonna put out, like what we want, what you’ll get etc etc]

Lulu: [obvs gonna gush like a nerd about what’s perfect and suggest things like an even bigger nerd, we know the vibe haha]

Sekhmet: I want at least four bedrooms, one each, one closet and one for 😈 only

Sekhmet: even if we share a bed most of the time really 🤫

Lulu: Monty needs his own as well, to share with his girlfriend, for when he can’t sleep cuddled with me

Sekhmet: 😂

Lulu: And there better be the HUGEST bath, my last day at school will be the last shower I ever take, I swear

Sekhmet: I couldn’t live without a bath, goes without saying

Sekhmet: this is sounding more and more like an estate agents window… will remember to go harder on how worth it we are okay 😆

Lulu: Here, let me help you remember

Lulu: [hit her with a tease selfie like she did to you earlier]

Sekhmet: So, I’ll just put that up and they’ll understand completely

Sekhmet: 🥴

Lulu: The amount of ideas I have for what you can put up 🤯

Sekhmet: What picture do you like best of me?

Lulu: [tell her, obvs with both a v detailed description of which one you mean and the very graphic reasons why]

Sekhmet: 🥺😿

Sekhmet: You really love me

Lulu: More than anything

Lulu: you’ve given me a perfect new life once and you’re planning to do it over again

Lulu: [hit her with a google doc or some kind of giant spreadsheet we’ve started that’s a very aesthetically pleasing compilation of all your ideas that you can both add to and she’ll be able to see when she opens it that you literally are continuing to add to it as we speak because you weren’t joking about how many you have or how much you love everything you’re doing]

Sekhmet: Such a nerd 😏

Sekhmet: But I live [and we do so likewise getting involved]

Lulu: Don’t tell anyone the glasses are a prop 🤫🤭 you’ll totally expose me in the least fun way possible

Sekhmet: Um yes, I DO want a dressing up box, thank you

Lulu: A walk in wardrobe that leads into the 😈 room?

Sekhmet: Only if it’s a secret door, naturally

Lulu: of course

Sekhmet: One day it’ll be a castle

Lulu: We already have one of those, it’s on a ☁️

Sekhmet: It’s wherever we are, always

Lulu: I can’t wait for it to be here

Lulu: I miss you

Sekhmet: I’m going to try to stay, okay

Sekhmet: your roommates better not snitch

Lulu: They wouldn’t dare, I’ve come v far from the girl they tried to make fun of

Sekhmet: They can sneak their boring boyfriends in whenever they want, we don’t care

Sekhmet: You won’t sleep without me

Lulu: in that case, they’d dare even less to cross me, or else they simply wouldn’t have those boring boyfriends any more

Sekhmet: 💋 or 🩸 either works

Sekhmet: We know they’re NOT sneaking anyone in anyways 🥱

Lulu: Or sneaking themselves out either

Sekhmet: Thank god for all the extra curriculars, huh, you boring bitches

Lulu: I wish you could be there for mandarin though, she’s even deeper in teacher mode

Sekhmet: Not being able to understand what someone is saying is hot, facts

Lulu: It’s going to add to the fun of easter hols, for sure, neither of us being able to speak or understand [whatever european language they speak in wherever Gabe’s spending his hols because it’s clearly not gonna be french]

Sekhmet: Vulnerable…

Sekhmet: 🥴

Lulu: completely lost and having to wander the streets together hand in hand

Sekhmet: Feeling every creeps 👀s on us, trying to make sense of what they’re muttering to each other about us

Lulu: Anything could happen, truly

Sekhmet: Our too short skirts will tell them we want it to

Lulu: and the fact that they look identical will tell them you’re my sister

Sekhmet: our holiday wardrobe should be identical

Lulu: That’s too kind of you, it’s almost as if you’re desperate to see me cry again

Sekhmet: Could be

Sekhmet: I know you miss it, if not her

Lulu: so much

Sekhmet: Let’s be twins

Sekhmet: do it properly

Lulu: I’ve tried to enjoy the alternatives, matching with my other mummy just isn’t the same, and doing it to please her isn’t enough of a turn on

Sekhmet: Only 🤏🏽

Sekhmet: I’ll be your mirror, so you can always see how good you look

Lulu: Does this mean you’re getting tattooed too?

Sekhmet: If you are

Lulu: There’s one problem, I’m not an artist, someone else will have to put it on you or it won’t look anything like a mirror of mine 😭

Sekhmet: Do you have good handwriting?

Lulu: perfect cursive, naturally

Sekhmet: There we go

Sekhmet: we just have to find the perfect word

Lulu: True, how hard can that be?

Sekhmet: it’s only permanent, no pressure 🤪

Lulu: [one of these dudes] would pay for laser to remove it if I made sure he was fully aware it hurt WAY more getting that part of the process done

Lulu: we get to decide what’s forever and what isn’t, always

Sekhmet: He’s so scary in person 🤤

Sekhmet: but way to say you don’t mean it, bitch 😂

Sekhmet: I’ll let you off the hook, don’t worry

Lulu: I do too mean it! I was trying to let you off the hook pressure wise 🤏🏻 because you’re the one who gets to pick the word and you’ve had a hard day with all the uni betrayal

Sekhmet: 🥰 You might be too pure for permanent marks anyway

Sekhmet: [another dude] would think we were so ruined

Lulu: I really will need an 🚑

Lulu: the things I’m going to have everyone write on my cast when he’s finished venting every bit of his anger are going to be totally perfect too 😊

Sekhmet: I’m gonna need you to get out that fucking classroom right now

Lulu: Do you wanna throw me down the stairs as well? Okay, you do have dibs to go first

Sekhmet: I’m always going to be your first

Lulu: baby’s 1st broken bone 🥰

Sekhmet: not only would it hurt, so unbelievably much

Sekhmet: you’d be so helpless, wouldn’t be able to do anything for yourself

Sekhmet: never mind push me off you

Lulu: If you wait until we’re in [the holiday destination] I could blame Gabriel and he’d get in so much trouble

Sekhmet: As he should

Lulu: it’ll mean he’ll go away, never be allowed or want to talk to me again, I know that’s what you want after he’s served his other purpose

Sekhmet: I want him to think you want him back, so you can break his heart

Lulu: He already does

Lulu: [show her the messages where you’ve set up this little holiday and how much he’s been talking to you since]

Sekhmet: He’d be so easy to frame 🙄

Lulu: I can’t wait for Mattie to find out every detail about this trip, she was beyond jealous and worried about me

Sekhmet: Should’ve told her I was coming to protect you

Sekhmet: like he’s the 😈

Lulu: Should I?

Sekhmet: Yes

Sekhmet: it’ll only make her more jealous

Lulu: then I’m telling her

Sekhmet: What was he like

Lulu: Tedious

Sekhmet: I meant the dick but I don’t hate knowing you’re not 😍😏

Lulu: so do I, the size of his ego was an utter false advertisement and I used a word that’s the same vibe as monotonous for a reason, there was no switch up in how he wanted to or did fuck me

Sekhmet: so like a boy

Sekhmet: You poor thing 😢

Lulu: Why are they like that? I thought he was going to do something incredible, not the first time maybe, that’d be unfair, I guess, but the next time

Sekhmet: He was basically using you as a masturbation aid

Sekhmet: it wasn’t about you, or being impressive, just trying to nut 😷

Lulu: 💔

Sekhmet: I know, that’s why you don’t fuck little boys, daddies only

Lulu: Erase it for me, I seriously don’t like that

Sekhmet: [imagine she has deleted all the messages with Gabe’s name in them]

Lulu: I’m not saying his name ever again

Sekhmet: Not like he was going to make you moan

Sekhmet: or me

Sekhmet: I’ll be there and we’ll rewrite it all

Lulu: Promise me you don’t think I’m stupid

Sekhmet: Do you think I’ve never fucked a lame ass boy?

Sekhmet: Because I have

Lulu: It’s not just him though, I let Dolly fucking run me out of my entire life

Sekhmet: For a better one

Sekhmet: trust the process, baby

Lulu: You’re right, as usual

Sekhmet: Don’t be ashamed, you shouldn’t be

Sekhmet: but even if you were, like you said, you’re a long way away from who you were then, right

Lulu: and I can get further

Sekhmet: [this euro trip] is just the start

Sekhmet: and I’m going to show him exactly how he should’ve treated you

Lulu: I just don’t want you to look at me different when you’ve seen him

Sekhmet: Do you wanna see some of the guys I messed with in school?

Lulu: Yes please

Sekhmet: [some socials of these varied lads]

Sekhmet: some of them weren’t totally terrible but it was only fun ‘cos I made it, they would’ve kept it so boring if I let them be in control

Lulu: I shouldn’t have given him so much, that’s what’s horrific, I don’t do that

Sekhmet: You thought he wanted it, he probably did

Sekhmet: you didn’t know that little boys don’t deserve it though, that’s not your fault, he seemed so much older at the time, yeah

Lulu: It feels wildly longer ago than it actually was now

Sekhmet: You were a baby, for real

Lulu: I definitely threw a tantrum worthy of one when it was over 😶

Sekhmet: I don’t find that hard to believe

Lulu: if he tries to bring any of it up when it’s his turn to be heartbroken I’m deliberately mistranslating it and you’re pretending you can’t read my mind, okay?

Sekhmet: I know you’re crazy, honey

Sekhmet: it’s my favourite thing about you

Lulu: The way he took it, no, I should say the way he refused to, when I offered him the smallest glimpse of it

Lulu: I didn’t know what to do

Sekhmet: He’s just human

Sekhmet: if he can’t handle it he don’t deserve it

Lulu: Having to put it all back in the box after I let myself get some of it out in front of another human, be sick on my own, truly alone with it, with the possibility of that being a forever thing was the absolute worst

Sekhmet: I know

Sekhmet: I didn’t think I’d ever meet anyone who could deal with me

Lulu: I could kiss Jay for getting us together, but not for real because ew

Sekhmet: You hate her 😆

Sekhmet: why do you hate her but like Mattie?

Lulu: No more little boys, and emotionally that’s exactly what she is

Sekhmet: THE DRAG 😶 I can’t

Lulu: The way I would kill to have the time with my mother she got and all she can do is cry about it

Sekhmet: She’s kinda a crap daughter…

Sekhmet: you’re perfect at it

Lulu: James was constantly out of it, Mattie wasn’t born for yonks, it was the two of them, and sure grandma and grandad were also there sometimes, but she had her all to her fucking self

Sekhmet: She doesn’t understand family

Sekhmet: she didn’t want anything to do with her real dad either, even though he really wanted to

Lulu: Don’t even talk to me about how hard I could thrive with two separate loving fathers

Sekhmet: I know 🙄

Sekhmet: she makes me mad

Sekhmet: she’s the oldest too… so everyone acts like you’re special even when you don’t do shit

Lulu: I don’t understand how she can have everything and twist it into being nothing

Sekhmet: Fucked up, not in a fun way

Lulu: And anyway, if I could forgive all that, she badly wants and keeps trying to turn Mattie against me

Lulu: constantly telling her how fucked up I am

Sekhmet: She told me she worries about her, and thinks she needs a break from you

Lulu: God knows what she’s telling Dolly for getting away successfully

Sekhmet: Whatever, she’ll be crying herself about not getting to get off with her

Lulu: Jay doesn’t deserve to get married and make a new family

Sekhmet: let’s pray his sperm count is nada

Lulu: I’ll use my prayers on her growing a pair herself and doing something permanent about leaving him

Sekhmet: You’d enjoy watching her get dumped more

Sekhmet: the way I would NEVER ask a man to marry me 🤢

Lulu: It’s pathetic

Sekhmet: I was going to say anyone but I guess I kinda did so 🤫

Lulu: I’m special, I know

Sekhmet: 😏 bitch

Lulu: The rules are different, I could beg you to marry me, and kind of did 😳 and it’s not that

Sekhmet: Nah, it’s true

Sekhmet: we’re both pretty, he’s not

Sekhmet: why does she have to beg when he’s clearly got no balls 🤔 should’ve finally let the door hit her on the way out, bad luck, boy

Lulu: Exactly, the desperation I have for you is earned and deserved, as well as reciprocated, she can’t even get a ❤️ from him on pics of his own engagement party, it’s cringe to the point of death

Sekhmet: Too bad we can’t send her our secret posts, so she sees what a real cute couple looks like

Sekhmet: never mind all the ❤️s

Lulu: I’m super proud of you for dealing with her for years and years, I’m not going to be able to last v long

Sekhmet: You only have to last her wedding

Sekhmet: which we’re making all about us

Sekhmet: then you don’t have to

Lulu: Can the bitch please set a fucking date? I’m over it

Sekhmet: Weddings are an excuse for attention, we all know that

Sekhmet: but it totally goes against her cool and chill thing she wants to project so she’s being annoying about it

Sekhmet: there’s no reason for her to drag it out when it took this long to get here

Lulu: It took time because she was waiting for his glow up and it never happened, awkward 😬

Sekhmet: 💀💀

Lulu: He really thought that long hair was a serve? 🤯 YIKES!

Sekhmet: Some people do not know what works for them

Sekhmet: with the right hair and vibe, he’s not terrible

Sekhmet: why don’t guys have friends to tell them the beard ain’t working?

Sekhmet: Jay would be, if she was a good wifey

Lulu: It’s the sweetest the amount of charity work you do, throwing out those almost compliments about him

Lulu: you genuinely are all-seeing when it comes to potential, I love it about you

Sekhmet: 👼🏽🧚🏽‍♀️🧙🏽‍♀️🧝🏽🦸🏽‍♀️👸🏽

Lulu: such a relief you like me mean, because I can’t

Sekhmet: 🥶 is easy to crack

Lulu: No, don’t get twisted, it’s easy to melt for you

Sekhmet: Awh, baby, I know you’re tough 😘

Lulu: If you wanna fight, just say so

Sekhmet: I thought you wanted to sleep, little one, I wouldn’t start if you’re not feeling 💯

Lulu: Hm, you thought is correct

Sekhmet: You think it’s playtime now, huh

Lulu: I’m not playing, you’ll see

Sekhmet: I know exactly what you’re after

Lulu: Then give it to me exactly how I want

Sekhmet: That’s what the pigtails are for

Sekhmet: but I have other tactics, pinching, scratching, biting, there’s no rules when sisters fight

Lulu: and it’s what Mattie’s room is perfect for

Sekhmet: loser has to pick up what gets knocked over

Sekhmet: so get ready to be on your knees, babe

Lulu: [give her directions to the scene of the crime]

Sekhmet: Get ready

Sekhmet: pretty sure I’m nearly there it’s all 🌳🌳

Lulu: You know I was born ready, you were there

Sekhmet: I know baby, it wouldn’t be no fun if you couldn’t hold your own

Lulu: we’re going to have the MOST fun

Sekhmet: it’s all I’ve been thinking about

Sekhmet: good news is it’s got me out of paying for this ride

Lulu: I’m hearing you’re unexpectedly flush and it’s going on buying me a 💍

Sekhmet: You’re persistent, girl

Sekhmet: I could be persuaded

Lulu: If I don’t ask I don’t get, that was a quick and early lesson

Sekhmet: I got so much to give you

Lulu: good, I can take so much

Sekhmet: If I’m going to marry you, I need to see you in some pretty dresses

Sekhmet: I bet Mattie has lots…

Lulu: [Tell her about the ones you’ve seen her wear in too much detail because that photographic memory and obsession, sis]

Sekhmet: You know her inside out

Sekhmet: go on, be in [whichever one we liked the description of the best] when I get there

Lulu: [all the content of us taking off our clothes to put this dress on but obvs stopping just before we get to the reveal because we gotta make her wait until she can see it IRL]

Sekhmet: fuck Lulu

Lulu: It works both ways, you ask and you get too

Lulu: I’m always going to have just as much to give you as I can take

Sekhmet: I’m going to rail you so hard in that dress, it’s never seen any action like that

Sekhmet: Has she got any toys? Find something to use

Lulu: A 🧸 that has me 💀💀

Lulu: so far

Sekhmet: You could rub your little pussy all over it

Sekhmet: she won’t know why she wants to hold it tighter to her even more

Lulu: Fuck

Sekhmet: Put her panties on, we’re soaking them

Sekhmet: she’s going to be so confused, not remembering when she got so wet

Lulu: I don’t ever want to leave this room, I can’t

Sekhmet: She can keep us

Sekhmet: come back and check on us on her breaks

Lulu: She’s left a hairbrush out and there are too many possibilities

Sekhmet: Imagine how many times she’s stuck that handle inside herself, working it in and out whilst she thinks about how often she looked over at you in class today

Lulu: stopping at imagining isn’t one of the potential outcomes, sorry, give me a number so I can do it too

Sekhmet: Lulu you know she has to do it every night since she met you

Sekhmet: She was such a good girl before, never touched herself

Lulu: [do the maths on how many nights you’ve known her and tell her obviously because you’re a nerd]

Sekhmet: Insatiable

Sekhmet: how does it feel having got your sister off that many times

Lulu: It’s a terrific start

Sekhmet: next up is doing it with your tongue

Lulu: What do you think she tastes like?

Sekhmet: 🌹🍯

Sekhmet: turkish delight

Lulu: I’ll buy some for her

Sekhmet: keep her mouth full whilst yours is, she’s going to drool it all down her tiny titties when you drag your tongue from the clit to her asshole

Lulu: I don’t know how you’re still typing rn but don’t stop

Sekhmet: I could be speaking it

Sekhmet: wonder what the driver thinks about you being such a creep

Lulu: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Sekhmet: He has seen enough of my pussy to warrant it

Lulu: You should show him how clean the other side of this brush is because all the hair that was on it is in my mouth

Sekhmet: You needy little cunt

Sekhmet: you’ve got your sister inside you, can you taste how her hair smells when she leans over your desk to check your work

Lulu: Needy enough that she’s gonna end up choking me

Sekhmet: Good

Sekhmet: I wanna find you half dead, it’s what you deserve, you freak

Sekhmet: you’ve broken into her room and defiled her precious things

Lulu: I wish people still kept diaries

Sekhmet: She’d be so adorably conflicted

Sekhmet: but every page would smell like sex because she’d be pounding herself so hard as she tells herself it’s so wrong

Lulu: using the blue pen she let me borrow

Sekhmet: that’s been in both your mouths

Sekhmet: you could taste her spit, couldn’t you

Lulu: Yes

Sekhmet: God yes, you could

Lulu: it’s so intense to love her the way I do

Sekhmet: go stand in front of her mirror, look at her brush sticking out you like a tail

Lulu: [pics or it didn’t happen]

Sekhmet: bad puppy, I’m gonna rub your fucking face in the wet patch, dirty dog

Lulu: Look for a belt

Sekhmet: Choke chain, you mutt

Sekhmet: you need to be trained

Lulu: Tell me this is fucking real

Sekhmet: It’s the realest you’ve ever had

Sekhmet: you’ve crossed the line this time, little girl

Lulu: I need to cross it harder, forget what I said, I know it’ll be worth it

Sekhmet: You’ve accepted it? So tell me with words, exactly what you want to happen and what I will make happen for you

Lulu: [when she would just describe the most soft and intimate things, nothing remotely freaky at all, just actual romantic vibes that I can’t even deal with rn because I would probably cry over how actually sad and heartbreaking that is if I wrote it out]

Sekhmet: [give it the minute you have not this entire time]

Sekhmet: Jesus, Lulu

Lulu: It’s all I want

Sekhmet: I heard you, I know

Lulu: Can you make it happen?

Lulu: please

Sekhmet: What do you think

Lulu: I think you’re capable of anything

Sekhmet: There you go then

Lulu: say it like you also believe it

Sekhmet: of course I believe in me

Sekhmet: always have, always will

Lulu: Thank you, for all of this 🙏🏻

Sekhmet: what are friends for

Lulu: You did NOT just try and friendzone me, not here and not like this

Sekhmet: Oh, I’m sorry, did you not appreciate the complete 180

Sekhmet: wow, really can’t relate

Lulu: You can’t expect me to censor what I think or feel or say when I’m where I was at a minute ago, I told you, it’s beyond intense

Sekhmet: Pro tip, the only people who like being cucked, are the ones asking for it, anyone else isn’t going to be happy with you

Lulu: You asked, it’s not my fault

Sekhmet: You can’t baby your way out of this shit, I’m not playing with you now

Lulu: You’re being unfair

Sekhmet: And?

Sekhmet: I came all the way down here to see you and you’ve killed my boner

Sekhmet: I don’t even wanna look at you now, sorry

Lulu: No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, you know I didn’t

Sekhmet: You better get out of her room and out of her clothes before she finds you

Lulu: Stop, don’t do this

Sekhmet: I’m not doing half of what I could, be thankful

Sekhmet: Just get your ass back to class, game’s over

Lulu: it’s not a game

Sekhmet: are you sure about that

Lulu: You don’t get to walk away and leave me here, this shit is forever

Sekhmet: Drop it

Sekhmet: or I’m gonna do some shit you ain’t want

Lulu: You already are

Lulu: fucking talk to me

Sekhmet: This shit about Matilda, that’s all fucking talk, alright

Lulu: What’s that supposed to mean?

Sekhmet: It means shut the fuck up for once or I’ll tell you what it means

Lulu: Tell me, when I ask for something it’s because I want the answer

Sekhmet: Fine

Sekhmet: she is never going to do any of that with you

Sekhmet: and believe it or not, I don’t wanna hurt you like that, but that’s the truth

Lulu: I’m not an idiot, the scenario was what I crave in an ideal world, not what’s on the table being offered

Sekhmet: For fuck’s sake

Lulu: You’ve never said anything when you were about to cum that was awkward after? 👌🏻

Sekhmet: Talk yourself down, sweetie, I’m already there

Lulu: why are you holding this against me?

Sekhmet: You said you’re not an idiot

Sekhmet: don’t ask stupid fucking questions

Lulu: You said I can trust you

Sekhmet: That’s why despite it all, I’m still thinking about your fucking feelings

Lulu: No you’re not, one thing slips out of my mouth you wish didn’t and it’s fuck my feelings, we’re friends and you’re vanishing in the uber to god knows where to do god knows what without me

Sekhmet: Yes I am, because I’m not coming in there and doing god knows what to you

Lulu: What happened to no limits? To me being free to say anything

Sekhmet: You said it

Lulu: If you stay in that car I’ll walk into the very same traffic

Sekhmet: Stop

Lulu: No

Sekhmet: Don’t blackmail me

Lulu: I’m stating an honest fact, it’ll happen, you know I mean it

Sekhmet: Don’t you dare

Lulu: Don’t you dare me

Sekhmet: I don’t want to be here

Sekhmet: Change my fucking mind if you want me to get out

Lulu: All I have is what you’ve given me, if you take any of it back, what’s left? I can’t go back to how I was living before, there would be too huge of a hole in me

Lulu: I love you and I need you

Sekhmet: Just act like it then

Sekhmet: I was going to let you live with me, share the biggest bag of my life

Sekhmet: You know I could do it without you, but I didn’t want to

Lulu: Get out of the past tense! You don’t want to, I’m going to live with you

Sekhmet: How long for anyway, you’ll be going to Uni wherever the fuck in September

Sekhmet: this is just a summer thing for you

Lulu: It’s a rest of my life thing for me and if it takes the whole of a deferred year off uni to prove that to you, that’s the way I’ll spend the entire time

Sekhmet: You won’t defer a year

Lulu: watch me fucking do it

Sekhmet: I’ll have to, ‘cos I don’t believe you

Lulu: I’ll deliberately fail every single A-level and not go at all if that’s what you want me to do

Sekhmet: Don’t be stupid, it obviously isn’t

Lulu: You want a serious commitment to a timescale stretching beyond the summer, there it is, I don’t see how it’s remotely stupid

Sekhmet: Because I’m not about to be accused of limiting your potential

Sekhmet: it’s always been the opposite

Lulu: Accused by who?

Sekhmet: You, when you’re pissed you’re not learning

Lulu: I’m constantly learning from you so that’s not about to happen

Sekhmet: You might fail on your own, don’t need to scapegoat me

Lulu: Wow, you think that’s what I’m doing, setting you up because I can’t handle the pressure of a few exams

Sekhmet: If you want to take a year out, then do it and mean it

Sekhmet: you can’t hide behind me and make it my idea

Lulu: I’m trying to show you how serious I am and you’re making digs trying to hurt me still

Sekhmet: I’m not, I’m serious

Sekhmet: I can only be in charge if that’s what you decide you want and keep wanting it

Sekhmet: the fuck do I look like I need to force you

Lulu: I’m not the one who is trying to stop, you are

Sekhmet: Yeah because it sure sounded like you want something very different back there

Lulu: I can’t help meeting her first, or how hard it is for me to let go of literally anything

Sekhmet: It isn’t because it’s her

Sekhmet: you want 💕

Lulu: I told you about that part of me, that it’s there in spite of everything, you said it’s in you as well

Sekhmet: It is

Sekhmet: but you don’t love me like that

Lulu: Yes I do

Sekhmet: Do you, cross your heart

Lulu: I love you in every possible way there is, and if you don’t believe me, I hope to die

Sekhmet: okay

Sekhmet: okay, I’ll get out the car

Lulu: I’m [somewhere that isn’t Mattie’s room lol but has enough privacy for you to have been having a full breakdown in hopefully] if you don’t come find me, I’ll find you on the road 🐓