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AHHHHHHH ITS HEREEEEE GO READ THE BESTTTTT ALEX FIC💜💜💜💜 so so proud of you @alovesreading you’re a legend 💜💜💜

Constant Repeat | Part 19

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 28k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: You lot deserve a medal, perhaps a couple awards for all your patience. Thank you for sticking by, being so supportive and willing to wait for me. So much had happened in the past year, I just turned a year older, I got a new car, and I'm graduating tomorrow; lots of exciting things and I'm so incredibly grateful for it all. I just wished I could have some more time to write/read, but I'm trying to manage it a little better and it might be working. I just finished this chapter, it's not been properly proofread but I hope that it's good and not filled with awful grammar and orthographical mistakes. I truly hope you enjoy despite it being relatively short, I really poured all of me to bring you another chapter as soon as I could, fighting all my writer slumps in the process. I hope I was successful, anyway, have fun reading! xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 |

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There was never a moment when Alex wasn’t on the phone to Ella while the band was away on tour after they got together. In the tour bus, before boarding a plane, in the greenroom before and after a show. It was a miracle to even get Alex to put down his phone for soundcheck and, more often than not, it was because Breana would be the one to record videos to send Ella or FaceTiming the director herself so Alex could concentrate on what he was supposed to do. 

It was honestly kind of disturbing to see Alex using his phone so often. The lads had definitely been teasing him over and over for not being able to leave Ella alone—to that, Alex always rolled his eyes and actually refuted them by saying he did leave her alone when she was working and couldn’t use her phone on set. 

“Melt,” Matt would say followed by a mocking snort when Alex would pout at his phone screen when Ella couldn’t pick up the phone or hadn’t answered one of his texts yet.

But it was days like those when Ella couldn’t stay on her phone for most of the day due to work that she would sneak into a bathroom and send Alex pictures that she had hidden away in her phone just for him. 

One of the first ones he got was when she had been shooting an advert and managed to sneak away from her responsibilities during her very short lunch break. She had sent him a mirror selfie just wearing one of the lacy little things she had gotten for herself when she went shopping with Katie.

Alex, who was slowly sipping his beer while lazily sitting on the corner of the lounge, choked when he got the notification of her text and opened it to a very explicit photo of her. 

His eyes went wide and he couldn’t stop coughing. He locked his phone fairly quickly when seeing everyone’s attention on him, but the picture was burned into his retinas and he needed to leave the room—his jeans started feeling too constricted.

“You alright mate?” someone asked.

The singer didn’t even have the mind to focus on who was speaking to him, he just nodded his head as he tried to calm down. Once he got his breath back, he added, “Yes, erm…” 

His trailing off was met with silence since everyone wanted an explanation for his sudden coughing fit. Nosy bunch the lot of them really. 

“Yeah, fine,” Alex clarified, and without leaving room for their curiosity to continue growing, he jumped off his seat and left the room with a quick, “Excuse me.”

He ran to his bunk so quickly, almost smashing his head open when he hastily climbed into his bed and closed the curtain. Unlocking his phone and getting to see the picture again left him breathless.

Ella was sitting on the floor of her room right in front of her massive mirror, burgundy lingerie set on. He had been instantly caught by the look of her tits almost spilling out of the see-through lace bra she had on, just now he was noticing that she was using the hand she wasn’t holding her phone with to shove aside her underwear and had a finger teasing her entrance. 

You’re cruel, he texted back as he fumbled to undo his belt with one hand. I’m so tempted to buy you a ticket and have you in this bunk with me right now xxxxx

Alex was teasing himself over his boxers when Ella’s response came through, Made a mess already? That’s quicker than I expected ;) xxx

Squeezing himself one last time, he shoved down the fabric of his boxers and let his cock spring out. He was already leaking at the tip, all he could think about was burying himself in her, replacing her finger in that picture and teasing her with his cock until she was drooling and begging for it. 

He groaned as he ran his thumb over his slick tip, wishing it was her arousal getting his dick all wet instead.

Not yet darling, but it won’t be soon before that. Wish I could make a mess of you instead xxxx 

Ella giggled inside the lonely bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror and noticing her flushed cheeks, the color going down her neck. She shifted in her spot when feeling a tingle run down her spine and settling between her legs. Fuck, she wished he could make a mess of her too—she missed the feeling of him pounding into her and the warmth of his cum mixed with hers dripping out of her cunt.

She swallowed a moan as she replied, Wish you could make a mess all over me xxx

Alex groaned as he pictured his cum on her pretty face, tongue licking away the remnants of him on her swollen pink lips. Inside his mind flashed the fantasies of him cumming over her stomach, imagining Ella running her fingers over the mess and sucking on them to taste every last drop of him—the singer picked up the pace of his fist around his cock when he pictured himself licking it all up for her and spitting it all in her mouth, how she’d swallow gladly and pull him in for a hungry kiss. 

It never took long for Alex to cum all over himself—or in a condom, if he wasn’t rushing enough to roll one down his length before getting himself off to the sight of her. And after the first time she complained about him not sharing proof of just how badly she affected him, Alex made sure to send her something back. 

Ella drove back home with the biggest smirk on her face every time, knowing that she had a treat from him when she got back to hers. After a long day of work, there was nothing better than moaning his name as she used one of her toys while seeing pictures or a video of him getting himself off to the thought of her. 

No one really said anything, because they all knew how badly it was to be away from their partners while on tour, but there were times when Alex and Ella were just too obnoxious for the lads to not taunt them about it. 

Like the one time Alex felt careless enough to remain in his bunk when Ella called him late one night, her voice wavering and her breath staggering in a clear sign that it was one of those days she was way too needy and had to hear his voice while touching herself. 

His jeans becoming too tight as his cock grew heavy when she’d whine and whimper on the other side of the line, her thoughts incoherently leaving her mouth as she fucked herself with a toy that just didn’t feel as good as his cock did but was enough to satiate her need for him.

Alex’s whispers weren’t quiet enough, and the silent gasps he’d let out were too abrupt in the silence of the night to wake his mates and their wives up. 

Ella’s fantasies ran loose as she came closer and closer to her climax, she painted the picture in detail as she continued gliding the dildo in and out of her dripping cunt, “I want you to bend me over the bathroom sink, and pound me from behind so hard I get bruises on my hips, baby. Want you to fucking spank me and pull my hair so I can see you through the mirror, and you can see me fucking drooling because your cock feels so fucking good inside me.”

“F-fuck, baby.” Alex groaned a bit too loudly, “Gonna be squeezing me so fucking tight with that sweet cunt of yours. And you’re gonna cum all over me, yeah? Gonna drench my cock, darling?”

Ella moaned louder in response and picked up her pace as she felt herself about to fall over the edge, “Yes–fuck! Yes, Alex!”

“Go on darling, give it all to me.” 

His voice dropped an octave as he quickened his pace and he started thrusting upwards to fuck his own fist. He bit his lip not to moan out loud, holding his breath when Ella’s loud mewls and moans of his name came through the phone, cumming inside the condom he’d managed to put on.

Ella’s labored breaths matched his and it was all they heard as they came down from their highs. The crackling of the signal reminded them of the distance between them and, suddenly, the sweet remnants of release were exchanged by the longing of being skin to skin, missing how it felt to relish in how well they fit together body and soul in the aftermath of an orgasm.  

“I miss you, sweetness,” Ella mumbled sadly, “Want you right here with me.”

“Me too, darling,” Alex sighed heavily, “I hate being away from you for so long. Will make it up to you, I promise.”

“Yeah?” Ella replied, a cheeky smile growing on her face as she went to tease him, “How will you make it up to me, baby?”

“Anything you ask for, darling. A thousand movies in Los Feliz, the moon and the stars, to worship you until my jaw aches and locks.” He heard her breath hitching, “Whatever you ask for, darling. It’s yours.”

She groaned loudly, “I fucking love you.”

He giggled like a fool, “I love you more.”

“Impossible,” she replied easily with his usual one-liner.

Alex snorted but before he could reply, someone shouted from another bunk, “Go to sleep you filthy fuckers, I’m tired.” 

The silence was loud afterwards but Ella laughed loudly after a few seconds, calling Alex out for not going to the other bunk area or the back lounge like he usually did, “You just stayed in there with everyone else?”

“You kind of didn’t give me a choice, darling. I couldn’t think straight the second I picked up and heard you saying my name like that.”

Ella snorted, “Glad to know just how badly I affect you.”

Alex sighed, a loopy smile on his face as he clarified, “Oh darling, you’ve ruined me you know that.” 

“Have I?” Ella countered, as if she didn’t know.

“Horrendously so.” Alex mumbled, “Ruined forever, baby.”

Ella bit her lip before going to reply, but again, someone else interrupted their conversation, “We just wanna sleep. You’re gonna see each other on the 6th. Just– please stop it, you soppy twats.”

Alex sighed in annoyance while Ella giggled. Even if he wanted to continue, he knew he’d just have to go to bed because he was sure now everyone in the bunks were awake and awaiting him to shut the fuck up. 

So he sighed again before joking loudly so the nosy bunch would stop complaining, “Sorry darling, they’re just fucking jealous.”

A choir of insults and profanities was heard, making Ella laugh again. Alex joined in her giggling before actually bidding her farewell, “Love you, darling. See you soon, yeah?”

Ella sighed contentedly hearing those words from him. She’d never get tired of hearing them nor saying them back. Biting her lip, she replied, “Love you. Sweet dreams, my love.”

“Sweet dreams baby,” he said back before she ended the call. 

When Alex went to discard the condom in the bathroom, he had gotten another round of abuse from everyone else. The bullying didn’t relent for days and, every day as Alex pouted when he FaceTimed Ella, she threatened to be even worse if they didn’t leave her man alone. 

That only triggered more bullying, but it was funny enough to hear them all creatively picking on Alex, and seeing how his cheeks would tint pink when they’d imitate the noises he made or the things he said to her on the phone.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll make them pay when y’all get over here,” Ella promised one day after the teasing went on and on. 

On the morning of the 6th of August, Ella arrived at the venue of the concert they were having in San Diego. When she saw Alex looking hot as fuck, waiting by the tour bus beside Bre and Matt with a sweet smile on his face, she felt like even the constant FaceTime calls and texts hadn’t made up for all the time apart. 

The second Alex locked eyes with Ella, as she got out of the car that he had booked to drive her down to San Diego, he started walking towards her. But she beat him to it, for she ran straight towards him, jumping into his arms eagerly. 

The thud of her suitcase being taken off the boot of the car and placed on the pavement was lost in the background as Alex’s hands came to hold her up. Ella was so lost in the fact that she could finally card her fingers through his yet-to-be-gelled hair that she didn’t hear the driver asking where he could put her case. If she had properly heard, she would’ve said it didn’t matter, because it truly didn’t.

The only thing that mattered was that she could finally pounce on Alex’s lips with need, feel his tongue licking into her mouth and hear his breath hitch as she pulled on his hair. His fingers dug harder into the clothed flesh of her ass and she could already feel arousal pooling between her legs from his touch.

“Hi,” she said breathlessly when she pulled back, but before she could continue, he went in for another kiss. 

She squealed and giggled into it, squirming in his hold and forcing him to set her down on the floor. But even as she pulled back because her giggles wouldn’t let her keep kissing him, he continued dropping pecks all over her face. The two of them completely forgetting the crowd around them, Matt was the one to tell the driver to please leave Ella’s case by the door of the tour bus.

“Missed you–” Alex mumbled in between his loving attack, “–so much.”

Both her hands cupped his face, stopping him. Just so she could stare at him, take in those gorgeous brown eyes she was obsessed with, the strands of hair falling over his forehead. 

Being apart for over a month felt like a crime, but it did make seeing each other again so incredibly sweet. She almost wanted to melt into the floor all because of the flood of feelings rushing through her. Her chest hurt from the amount of love coursing through her veins.

And Alex felt just the same, he was almost vibrating with every feeling rumbling inside of him, like an earthquake that just wouldn’t stop.

His arm wrapped around her waist to bring her impossibly closer and kissed her again. But this kiss was cut short since Matt and Breana, who were done being tortured by the PDA, finally approached them and the model called out from behind Alex, “Okay, my turn now!”

Ella laughed loudly as she pulled back and left Alex’s arms to hug Bre tightly. They swayed in their place, cooing at each other, making both lads smile as they watched the sweet reunion. 

Alex clocked on the driver leaving Ella’s case by the door and thanked him just as Matt managed to get his own bear hug from Ella. However, it wasn’t long before Ella was back beside Alex, intertwining their fingers and kissing him quickly just once more before they started moving towards the van that was waiting for them. 

Matt and Bre led the way while Ella and Alex followed a few meters behind, wanting to have the other to themselves for a tiny bit longer before the day properly started. 

When they stopped by the van, and Matt was approached by the driver, Ella took the chance to throw her arms around Alex’s neck and run her fingers up and down the back of his head. That had Alex rolling his eyes in pleasure at the feeling of her nails scratching his scalp lightly. 

She bit her bottom lip at the sight of him—the black Chelsea boots and the black jeans paired with a light blue wash button up, which was half buttoned and showing his chest and that gold chain that made her thoughts go feral, “You look so good.”

Alex raised a brow and a smirk broke on his face, “Do I?”

“Yeah,” Ella nodded, “Fit as fuck.”

The singer couldn’t help but giggle at his girlfriend’s choice of words, leaning in to kiss her as a thank you for the compliment. 

When he pulled back, he made sure to make a show of looking her up and down, letting every dirty thought he was having of her show in his darkening eyes, “You look fit as fuck too, darling.”

She didn’t believe him for a second because, even though he’d had someone pick her up and drive her two hours down to San Diego instead of letting her drive herself, she still felt a little rough from the trip. And she was just wearing a pair of jeans and a vest top with a leather jacket over it, her black motorcycle boots matching it, she didn’t feel hot at all at the minute—much less this early in the morning.

“You’re just being nice,” Ella rolled her eyes as she said. 

Alex shook his head and leaned in until his lips brushed the shell of her ear and he could whisper, “Darling, you look so fucking hot I wanna take you right here, right now.”

Her cheeks were burning bright red when he pulled back to look right in her eyes, her mouth slightly parted and her breaths became heavy. 

After clearing her throat, she called him out in a whisper, “Sweetness, you can’t just say that when we’re meant to go somewhere else.”

“Shall we try my bunk quickly?” Alex quipped with a cheeky smirk.

She flicked at his chest and giggled, heat rushing up her neck and cheeks again, “Stop it.” 

The reason she wanted him to stop was because she would say yes in a heartbeat if he really suggested it, and it wouldn’t be ideal for anyone else but the two of them.

Thankfully, Matt saved her decency by turning around and telling them they had to get on the van and get going. Ella couldn’t help the little squeak that left her mouth when she started walking towards the vehicle and thought about how she’d be hearing them live again so soon. 

Alex gave her a puzzled yet amused look when he sat beside her on the second row and she was very honest about it for she shrugged and admitted, “I’ve been dying to hear you sing in person again, sweetness.”

With a smug expression on his face, he teasingly asked, “Have you?”

But she couldn’t be anything but honest about it, “Been playing you in the car every day but it just isn’t the same.”

He narrowed his eyes at her, smirking, and called her out, “Obsessed.”

Ella had the brightest smile on her face while she let her hand come over where his hand was resting on her thigh. She nodded, “I really am.”

Alex felt loopy already. Drunk on all of her. He just needed those eyes on him, her touch all over him, to hear her sweet voice, to be enveloped by her scent, to feel her lips on his. So he turned slightly and kissed her again, a kiss that said I love you and I need you and only you.

By the look on her face when he pulled back after they lost their breath, Alex could say he had successfully relayed the message. 

Yet, just in case, he promised, “I’ll serenade you,” so he could use another of his favorite languages to tell her everything he felt for her. 

The drive over to the studio was barely 40 minutes long, which was relatively quickly considering they got stuck in quite a bit of traffic. 

When they got to the place and they walked in, the large crowd of fans and the radio station crew were instantly captivated by the sight of Alex and Matt walking into the room. Breana and Ella slipped to the back of the room where no one noticed them as everyone was too busy following the band members’ trail up to the little stage that had been set up.

Ella smiled like a fool when the lads took a seat on the tall stools right behind microphone stands in the middle of the stage and waved at the people gathered in front of them. Alex offered everyone a quiet greeting that everyone echoed back with enthusiasm. 

The room was charged with anticipation and it rumbled inside Ella’s chest as someone brought in Alex’s acoustic guitar and handed it to him so he could tune it and get comfortable with it. 

Just as Alex was tuning the guitar and teased a few strums of it to get himself ready, someone handed Matt a pair of shakers and a tambourine. The drummer looked at his best mate and nodded, and right then, the show started.

The setlist started with ‘Snap Out of It’, which was a nice first song since the energy in the room charged with even more excitement. Ella couldn’t help the string of giggles that left her when Alex looked her way and winked as he sang. 

‘Do I Wanna Know?’ had been next and it had everyone in the room whooping, whistling and hollering by the end of the song, which made Alex smile shyly to himself and get a little flustered at the response from the crowd. 

By the time ‘Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?’ started, it felt like the whole building had quieted down so everyone, even those outside, could hear how amazing the song sounded with an acoustic guitar, Alex’s rich voice and Matt’s flawless falsetto on the background vocals.

After that, they played ‘No. 1 Party Anthem’ which made Ella and Breana hug each other and sway together to the music. Ella felt like she was levitating hearing Alex singing, her brain flooding with the memories of the first time he ever sang a few of those lines and how that song came to be. She choked up a bit when thinking back to how long ago that felt like and how far they had come since then. 

Her emotional state only became worse when they ended their set with ‘I Wanna Be Yours’. Knowing that he had wanted to make that poem into a song for her to get the hint made her chest swell with tenderness. 

She was a bit sad though, about the fact that she wasn’t allowed to take pictures with her own camera because she was honestly dying to capture the moment through her own lenses, however all she could do was try her best to engrave it all in her mind. 

It wouldn’t be hard to when, by the end of the song, Alex looked right at her and winked. She blushed hard, the heat going from her cheeks down to her neck, but she still blew him a kiss. 

Ella felt like her chest was about to burst with pride and adoration, she wanted to run up to him and place kisses all over his face.  

When the little acoustic set was over, the lads took a few pictures with the radio crew and made sure to thank everyone for having them and for coming to see them. A few people mentioned that they’d be coming to the show later and Alex made sure to promise them a good show and assured them he was eager to see them all there. 

Ella felt a bit selfish when she felt an immense sense of relief right when Alex finally intertwined their fingers together as they walked out. But she cut herself some slack: after being away from him for so long, having him ten meters away for an hour without being able to be stuck by his side felt like torture. 

She made sure to steal a quick kiss before they got inside the van to head back to the venue where Jamie and Nick were waiting for them to come back so that they could have breakfast and then soundcheck. 

Getting back to the venue was quicker without the traffic, and it was a relief when Ella could finally walk up into the bus and settle on the lounge, cuddling Alex lazily. But what the director hadn’t been expecting was to get so emotional when seeing Jamie and Nick walk out into the lounge to greet her after being gone for so long.

Bless both Nick and Jamie, they made sure to give Ella extra long and tight hugs to make up for the time apart and for the fact that Kelly and Katie weren’t touring with them anymore. But Kelly was due at any moment and Katie had stayed back in the UK with her not only for work but to keep her company.

Enjoying the show without them was certainly a bit bittersweet, but Ella and Bre recorded multiple clips and made sure to send them afterwards. 

Throughout the gig Ella couldn’t fight the butterflies fluttering away and rumbling in her stomach, her heartbeat in sync with the beat of every song Alex was singing. The setlist seemed to have been chosen with her in mind, the enamored glances and cheeky winks the singer sent her way during every song nodded to her being right. 

After finally being able to call Alex her boyfriend and say I love you as many times as she wanted, every song hit a bit different. Especially those he had written with heavy and silent longing rushing through his veins. It was like the fog had dissipated and every combination of words made so much more sense. 

It was probably why, the second the encore was over and the lads officially walked off the stage, Ella ran off to trap Alex in a tight hug. They shared a passionate kiss before the crew walked in on stage to pick everything up, the curious and teasing glances not bothering the couple one bit. 

When they got to the greenroom, Alex and Ella were basically glued together, only letting go of each other when Alex went to take a quick shower before they boarded the bus and left for LA. 

With how tired everyone was, they skipped staying in the lounge and all went to their respective bunks. Ella’s heart multiplied in size inside her chest when Alex guided her to his, a broad hand on her lower back. The warmth that spread through her suddenly dissipated her exhaustion, having Alex coming in the bunk after her and feeling his body press up against her kickstarted her whole being. 

The drive up to Los Angeles was meant to be about two hours long so they were due in the city of Angels in the middle of the night. And, realistically, Ella and Alex would just have to wait a bit longer to have each other all to themselves; but with being so close together after such a long time apart, it became an impossible task to keep their hands to themselves.

It had started with short kisses in between whispers of I missed you and random but brief things to catch each other up with, until the whispers died down and the kisses deepened and all that could be heard in the quiet of the night was the faint smacking of their lips and the soft gasps at fingers digging on skin and pulling on hair.

It became worse when they shifted impossibly closer together and one of Alex’s legs found itself slotted in between Ella’s. His hand clutched onto her hip and encouraged her to press flush against his thigh as they kissed, and soon the kisses became sloppy when Ella started rolling her hips on his leg. 

Delicious friction got a soft moan out of her, a sound that Alex would encourage and only aim to raise in volume any other time but in the still silence of the night inside the bus, Alex had to pull back and break the kiss to remind Ella, “We need to be quiet.”

Ella swallowed harshly, slowing down her hips but not stopping entirely—she couldn’t even if she tried. She bit her bottom lip as her face contorted in pleasure and took a shallow breath to be able to promise, “We’ll be.”

Those words were the greenlight for them to shift gears and continue giving into their need for each other. 

Alex held her tighter and guided each roll of her hips on his thigh, his mouth agape and his eyes never leaving the sight of her face as it crumbled out of pleasure and how desperate Ella was to chase her high by using him.

She was struggling to keep quiet so she hid her face on the crook of his neck, heavy breaths fanning his sensitive skin and the silent gasps falling right in his ear. 

He needed more. So much more.

Alex was completely driven by the need to make her fall apart for him when he let his hand wander from her hip down the front of her sweatpants, deftly dipping inside to touch her where she was aching for him. 

Just one barely-there touch to her clit had Ella moaning in a whisper, “I– oh fuck.”

She was fucking drenched and Alex couldn’t help but groan softly, “So wet for me already.”

“Al…” Ella begged quietly when his fingers started tracing slow circles on her clit.

“Yeah?” Alex teased, increasing his speed and when Ella let out a broken whimper, he asked, “Feels good?”

Her hips started rolling again, greedily chasing more, as she nodded and mewled in his ear, “Mhm, so good.”

Alex could feel his cock getting heavy and straining his joggers, he wanted nothing more but to bury himself deep inside her but the situation wasn’t going to allow it so he would settle for the next best thing.

His fingers left her clit and slowly traveled down her folds, relishing in her wetness and just how responsive Ella was to him. He couldn’t help but bring his hand up to his mouth and licking his fingers clean. It was the greatest effort of his life not to let out a guttural moan at the taste of her, somehow sweeter than ever after so long without being able to have her. 

Ella shuddered at the filthy sight, left so weak from desperation and need that when Alex dipped his hand back down her underwear and slipped two fingers right inside her, a broken moan left her lips before she could even think of biting her lip to stay silent.

“Shhh, baby…” He reminded her but he really wasn’t helping at all when he slowly dragged his fingers out of her only to plunge them back in and have her gasp as he continued, “You need to be quiet.”

Ella pressed her lips together, her walls clenching his fingers tightly as she apologized in a weak whisper, “Sorry– Shitttt.”

He smirked hearing her struggle to keep quiet because of him curling his fingers inside her and starting to quicken his pace. The corners of his mouth only tugged even more when he felt how she was holding her breath as he continued to pick up his pace, and in the dead of the night they could even hear the sounds of her drenched cunt taking his fingers.

Alex pushed himself off the bunk mattress and hovered over Ella when her hips started moving again, following Alex’s pattern and meeting him in the middle as she started fucking herself on his fingers. 

But as she did that, her moans started slipping past her lips louder and louder and the only solution Alex could think of just made for the scene to become even filthier. 

With his other hand, he pushed two fingers into Ella’s mouth hoping that sucking on them would quiet her down. A smirk broke on his face when her lips wrapped around his digits without prompting and her tongue started swirling beneath them, “Yeah suck on them,” he encouraged. Images of her sucking him off flooded his brain and when she started slightly bobbing her head on them, the words just came naturally from him, “Good girl.”

It was such a great effort for Alex not to bust in his pants, but with how easy his fingers glided in and out of Ella’s cunt, how she clenched around his fingers and how good she looked as she fucked herself on them, the singer was doing his best to hold up even if he knew he would have to find his release in her hand later.

Ella sucked harder on his fingers when he curled the one inside her and hit just the spot, a muffled whine came from her and he swore he felt a bead of precum leaking from his tip just from hearing that sound come from her.

“Right there?” Alex asked, doing it again and trying to get the same response.

This time, Ella was even more eager as she mewled a louder, “Mhm!” in response. Alex’s quick shush was only half hearted.

Yet, Ella started shaking her head and then pulled her mouth off his fingers and stopped moving her hips even though her body screamed at her to keep going, because she was so close, her orgasm was looming on her. But even though Alex’s fingers filled her up so much better than her own, Ella wanted more. 

She needed more.

Alex fully pulled his fingers out of her and placed a comforting hand on her hip as he whispered a sweet, “What’s wrong?”

“I just–” Ella whispered back frustratedly, wanting to whine at the loss of him, her brows furrowing as she tried to say what she wanted even if it didn’t feel like it was possible to do then. “I don’t–” she tried again, this time fiddling with her fingers before she started being a bit clearer,  “Maybe we could, erm…”

But her words died into silence and he was left wondering for too many seconds. Alex let his body come to rest over hers and pushed his hips into hers, earning a gasp out of her at how hard he was and how good he felt rolling against her core.

“Say it,” he demanded against her mouth.

She was breathless, the only word leaving her mouth being, “I…”

Alex nudged the tip of his nose against hers and huffed, “Darling.” He had no idea what she wanted but he needed her to tell him, all he wanted was to make anything she asked for was given to her, and he would do anything if she’d just say it.

But Alex still choked when she finally got the courage to admit, “I want you inside me.”

He pondered on it for a split second before saying, “We won’t be quiet.” 

Despite the fact that there was nothing more that he wanted to do with her right then and there, he knew that they wouldn’t be able to keep quiet at all.

She brought her hands up to his face, brushing his hair back and off his sweaty forehead, “Well we don’t necessarily need to fuck do we?” She blushed as she indulged in the idea of something she’d been dreaming of doing with him, something she just needed then, “Just want you inside me. I’ve missed you baby.”

“Fuck me,” Alex mumbled before hiding his face in her neck, there he pressed a few kisses before softly biting the side of her neck and making her gasp. The ache between her legs only became worse when he licked up the side of her neck until he reached her ear and there he whispered, “Anything and everything you want, darling.”

Alex pushed off her as far as he could so that they could both shed off their sweats and underwear, a mess of limbs and haphazardly shoved down clothing that ended up being kicked off to the corner of the bunk. 

It was all a blur until the moment where Alex hovered closer to her, leaning in until their breaths mixed and they were gasping into each other’s mouths as Alex started dragging the tip of his cock up and down her slick cunt.

She let out a pathetic quiet cry at the teasing, and he listened to her silent instruction by finally lining himself up and slowly filling her up.

“Fuck… You’re feel so–” Alex moaned as he continued pushing into her, feeling the way her mouth opened wider with the stretch of his cock finally filling her up after so long. He wouldn’t be able to last with her wrapped that tightly around him, “ Ella…”

Her eyes rolled back when he bottomed out, “I know– Fuckkkk.” Her brain melted inside her skull, all that she could think about was how she could feel every ridge and vein, how well she was being stretched out by him, how she was burning up just from being like this with him again, “I missed you so much. Fucking missed your cock buried in me so much.”

Alex took deep breaths to calm his erratic heartbeat before he stated, “We can just stay like this yeah?”

“Mhm,” Ella hummed brainlessly, fully fucked out already, “Please.”

Alex’s heart was still doing somersaults inside his chest, but he recognized the feeling just came from how complete he felt at the moment. Saying, “I love you,” in that moment tasted just as sweet as her on his tongue.

And Ella saying, “I love you,” back only made his brain become even hazier. 

It was that feeling of being finally complete when they were like this that allowed for their eyes to start closing out of bliss. About thirty minutes passed with them like that, full of the other, but when there was that lingering trace of an orgasm, Ella couldn’t help but squirm around just a little. 

At first, it was alright, she was adjusting her position until she ended up almost laying on top of Alex. She sighed out in pleasure at the angle for which she finally settled, but her body reacted on its own, and when Alex felt her clenching around him, he couldn’t help but let out a noise of his own.

“Ella, shit,” the singer groaned, as quietly as he could muster but the depth of his tone reverberated inside the bunk. A shiver ran down Ella’s spine, making her squirm once more. Alex threw his head back, swallowing a moan and choking out, “You’re killing me, darling.”

A broken sob in frustration caught in Ella’s throat as she tried her best not to move again, “M’sorry, I just–” She tried to explain, but she couldn’t without disturbing the quiet of the night. So she lifted herself off Alex’s chest, just a little so she could become more comfortable, but when she shuffled forward a little, Alex’s hips worked on their own and he thrusted up into her. 

Ella’s arms wobbled like jelly, she crashed down on his chest just in time for her mouth to press against his chest, right over his erratic heart, muffling the loud moan she let out, “Oh fuckkk.”

Alex’s face scrunched up in pleasure at the friction, his whole body coming up alive with lust. But he did his best to control every atom of his being, stilling his traitorous hips to check on Ella, “Darling?”

Inside Ella’s head was a debate. It really couldn’t be considered one, when her need for him was winning over logic. Through the desperation to have all of him, she struggled to ask, “We can be quiet, right?”

“We can.” Alex nodded, gulping harshly when she moved to look up at him. Innocent charade as she batted her lashes at him. He brushed some of her hair back, admiring every bit of her beauty under the pale moonlight before saying, “I’ll just use a condom so we don’t make a mess.”

The last sense of logic left in him. She just made a mess of him, left him a fool and he had never been this content at recognizing his lack of sanity. 

Her pretty lips turned into a pout as she nodded, “Please. Please baby.”

A hand wrapped around her neck and pulled her right to his mouth. The kiss was desperate, lustful; her fingers dug into his shoulders, nails dragging up until she reached his hair and she pulled on it, bringing her impossibly closer to her. 

Alex reached a hand into the pocket of his bunk, finding a condom blindly as he continued to kiss Ella. But when the cracking of the foil reached Ella’s ears, she did not waste time to pull away and slowly get off him so that they could finally have the other how they’d been dying to for weeks. 

Ella bit her bottom lip to quiet down the soft cry that left her at the loss of him filling her up. She felt so incomplete that the few seconds it took him to rip the foil, and roll the condom down his length, felt infinite. 

Alex’s vein protuded on his neck as he held his breath when he held himself in his hand, “I won’t last darling. Come here.” 

A hand on her hip, he guided her back down. A hiss leaving him when he rubbed the tip of his cock up and down her slick folds. But as much as he would love to have her ride him, he needed to show her just how much he had missed her, how he was willing to be at her mercy after being apart for so long.

In a swift move, he pushed himself off the mattress and pushed her softly down on it. Ella let herself rest on the bedsheets with a sigh, eyes twinkling at the sight of him hovering over her. Hair falling over his forehead, heavy breath hitting her cheek, his eyes drinking her in and falling down to where they would soon connect. 

Silence was loud, charged with anticipation when he lined himself up and started to slowly push in. Staring at the other, eye to eye as their mouths went slack, silent gasps leaving the both of them. Her eyes rolled back and her teeth sank into her bottom lip when he bottomed out, his face hidden in the crook of her neck and his heavy breath tickling her sensitive skin there. 

Ella clutched tightly onto him, nails leaving crescent marks and scratches down his back. She felt the flex of his muscles with every thrust, her breath left her in a gasp with every drag and push. Sweat coated their skin, trying to be quiet adding to the effort of it all. They weren’t doing a good job at it, not when they moaned softly into each other’s mouths, not with the way they looked into each other’s eyes as their pleasure built and built. 

His fingers dug harder on her hips, bruises probably would show in the next few days, a reminder of his desperate need to hold her close and tight now that he had her. Bruises the shape of his fingers, a self-made puzzle only for Alex to put together forevermore. 

The pain of his hold only brought a smile to her face, one that was only broken by the steady looming of her orgasm. 

The lack of space in the bunk only meant they were pressed flush against each other, her peaked nipples rubbing on his chest with every thrust. And since the bunks were not reliable to not make sounds with abrupt movement, every thrust was slow and deliberate. 

She could feel him hitting that spot over and over again, her walls clenching hard around him as she struggled more and more to keep quiet. Tears brimmed at the edges of her eyes, the pleasure and their closeness only heightening each feeling and emotion. 

The tips of their noses brushed with every movement, shuddering breaths mixing together. Alex brought one of his hands up to her wrist, so that he could entwine their fingers and rest their joint hands on the mattress right by her head.

Ella felt her heart exploding in her chest. She barely managed to say in a broken whisper, “I love you.”

Alex’s hips faltered at the sound of that, his heart skipping a beat and his limbs going wobbly at those three words. His entire being felt like it was on fire when he reciprocated with devotion, “Love you– fuck.” He let his face fall on her chest, kissing up the side of her neck and squeezing her hand a bit tighter as he whispered in her ear, “M’so close.”

“Me too baby,” Ella mumbled back, her thighs starting to shake beside Alex’s hips as she started to move to meet him in the middle. Her voice wavered as she pleaded, “Don’t stop.”

It was then that the last bit of thread that held his logic together snapped, her wishes the only thing in his mind. His hips started going faster, the slap of their sweaty skin piercing the quiet around them, their gasps not silent anymore. A lustful, unrestrained harmony that they no longer cared if it reached the ears of their friends around. 

Trying his best to keep his rhythm, Alex moaned very not quietly, “Ella. Fffuc– darling,” before he bit her collarbone, trying to silence himself as he felt his orgasm hitting him abruptly.

His stuttering thrusts and the way he moaned into her skin sent Ella over the edge, “Mmm, Alex, baby.” 

Her legs shook as her orgasm washed over her like a treacherous tide, his name the only thing she knew other than the white heat rushing through her and making her toes curl. 

With the last of their strength they rode their orgasms out, Ella still spasming around him as he slowed down and his hips came to a complete stop. He didn’t take long to lift himself off her and get the condom off him, cock twitching at the sight of her glistening cunt. The most glorious aftermath, he wished he had the space to clean her up with his tongue, have the place all to themselves so he could hear her scream his name as she came on his tongue over and over again. 

After tying the condom and throwing it inside a little garbage bag inside the bunk, Alex sighed in content when he finally came to lay down right beside Ella. He helped her pull her sweats back on, and he did just the same, lifting the bedsheets afterwards to finally go to bed. 

It took them fifteen minutes of whispered conversation, stolen soft kisses, and gentle touches on each other’s skin for their eyes to grow heavy. But just when Alex was getting comfortable and nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck, Ella’s phone screen lit up with a message notification.

It made the inside of the bunk so unbelievably bright that she could not ignore the text. 

(07/08/2014 01:29) Why haven’t you gone to the bathroom yet? That’s how you get a fucking UTI, missy.

Mortified was an understatement. Alex, the absolute menace, only chuckled in her ear when Ella showed him the text. The glow of her phone highlighted the blood that had rushed up to her cheeks, tinting them that bright pink he adored to see. 

Alex dropped a string of kisses on her cheek as Ella replied to her best friend. 

(07/08/2014 01:30) Oh for fucks sake, you’re awake Bre?

(07/08/2014 01:30) Yeah. You’re loud even when you’re quiet.

(07/08/2014 01:30) Sorry xxxxx

(07/08/2014 01:31) It’s okay, my love. I wouldn’t wait either if it’s been over a month apart. But please go to the bathroom now.

(07/08/2014 01:31) Don’t you think a week of cranberry juice is better than a walk of shame?

(07/08/2014 01:31) Go to the bathroom, you silly bitch.

(07/08/2014 01:32) Hahahaha okay mom! Goodnight and sorry again. Love you xxxx

(07/08/2014 01:32) Love you too, night night xxxx

Alex groaned as Ella picked herself up and off the bunk bed and went off to the bathroom, his clinginess taking him with her. Ella laughed quietly as he stayed outside the tiny little tour bus bathroom, and she shook her head when he squished inside to throw away the condom as she washed her hands. 

In retrospect, that was not the smartest decision. Leaving the evidence to their lack of patience certainly made their friends more eager to take the piss out of them the next morning. 

“You’re fucking filthy,” Nick said with a face of disgust, “Right above me, as well. I hate you.”

Ella felt slightly bad for the snort of laughter that got out of her, the bassist only shaking his head in disappointment at her amusement.

“If it helps, I’m deeply sorry about that little detail,” Ella said as she hugged him from behind.

Breana raised an eyebrow at her best friend, “Not sorry about everything else? Disrupting our sleep perhaps?”

Letting Nick go, Ella blushed a little as a smirk managed to break on her face, “Not at all.” 

Jamie cackled, elbowing a blushing but proud-inside Alex. The guitarist crossed his arms as he continued with the bashing of his friends, “You could’ve just waited until this morning and had a proper bed over at Alex’s or yours.”

Alex was the one to reply that time, “Patience is not my thing.”

“And we all had to pay for that,” sighed Matt, in an exaggerated manner that made Ella smack the back of his head.

“You’re one to talk,” the director quipped, knowing damn well he and Breana were the reason for many times the lads had to go to bed with headphones, or get hotel rooms that didn’t share walls with them.

Matt opened his mouth to bite back but the sound of tires on pavement had the group whipping their heads around to see the arrival of the cabs that were taking them to their respective places. 

Alex and Ella were going to Alex’s house, while Breana and Matt were going to theirs, and Jamie and Nick were going to a hotel.

The last two had declined the offer to stay at Alex’s after the previous night, knowing a worst fate would await them over at the singer’s house. The same could be expected if they were to go to Matt and Bre’s, so they decided to book hotel rooms in a posh hotel close to the venue. 

With quick hugs and ‘see you later’s, everyone left in their respective cabs.

It certainly had been a wise choice for Nick and Jamie to not come along with Ella and Alex, for the second the couple stepped through the door of Alex’s house, he lifted Ella off the ground and took her straight to his room.

Alex’s kisses dazed her enough for it to feel like she blinked and they were undressed, his fingers trailing down her body to start teasing those noises out of her that he so badly wanted to get drunk on. But Ella managed to snap back into consciousness and ask for them to shower before they could get on with it.

The shower started out normally, they were seemingly rushing to get out of it just at the prospect of what was waiting for them back in the bedroom. That all changed when Alex started shampooing Ella’s hair and a loud moan slipped past her lips.

Feverish kisses under the shower rain ensued after he haphazardly rinsed her hair, as well as wandering hands, and soon Ella ended up kneeling in front of Alex stealing moans and gasps out of him as she pleasured him with that mouth of hers.

Alex was so drunk on pleasure, eyes rolling back into his head, brain melting into a puddle inside his skull. Yet, he had enough of a mind to drag his hips back when he felt himself close, because he needed to cum inside her properly.

He had missed seeing his cum dripping out of her, and wanted nothing more than to stuff it back inside her with his fingers.

So he pulled her back up to her feet, and kissed her desperately and hard until they ran out of breath and then he wasted no time pressing her back against the wall to start the worship of her body.

It was his mouth first, one of her legs thrown over his shoulder and a hand fisting his wet hair. Every time she looked down as her mouth opened agape and moans left her in honey-trickled strings, she found those brown eyes staring at her while his tongue lapped at her like he was starved.

He had to hold her tightly when she came, her legs shaking so much she started to slip down the wall.

After he cleaned every last drop of her, holding tightly onto her trembling thighs and trying to memorize the sound of her whimpers, Alex’s deft fingers undid her next. 

Her chest was heaving, and despite the water still spraying over them, she felt like she was dripping with sweat as if molten lava ran through her veins with every drag and curl of his fingers inside her. 

This time he left her hanging right off the edge of her climax, leaving her teary eyed and begging for him. 

Alex was on his feet and teasing her dripping cunt with his cock in a second, Ella threw her head back in a loud groan at the feeling of him pushing inside her again. It was heavenly, and she really did not know how she was meant to survive without him filling her up this deliciously every day when he was away. 

In between sloppy kisses and Alex’s relentless hips, they both came together. Moans and groans filling the air, louder than the pitter-patter of the water hitting the tiles of the shower. Fingers digging harshly on skin, nails scraping and marking each other, fingers tangled in hair and pulling it. 

Their rhythms faltered as they rode out their highs, their minds gone for a good few minutes until they came back into their dazed minds. 

“I love you,” Alex whispered against her lips, his heart beating out of his chest with the amount of adoration he felt for her. 

Ella smiled, loopily, “Love you too.” 

When Alex pulled back, slowly as he hissed and Ella whimpered, he watched as his cum started dripping out of her. Fingers caught the string of white and rubbed it up and down her folds to mix both of their aftermath together, Ella watched while she held her breath, her mouth watering at the thought of tasting the both of them together. 

Leaning towards the side of her neck, his lips brushed her sensitive skin up until he got to her ear, there he bit and pulled on her lobe before whispering, “Not a drop goes to waste.” 

Her fingers clutched tightly onto his arm when he pushed his fingers back inside her, his cum going back in with them. She moaned at the intrusion, her oversensitive cunt clenching around his fingers as she shivered in pleasure. 

Her mind was reeling, all conscious thought out of the window, so she couldn’t fight the thought that escaped her mouth, “Can I have a taste?”

Barely a whisper because she was holding her breath, but Alex looked up so quickly, eyes looking for hers. His cock twitched at her request. Who was he to deny her?

Pulling his fingers back, he brought his fingers up to her mouth, and his own fell agape watching as her swollen wet lips wrapped around his fingers and her eyes rolled back into her skull at the taste. 

The loud moan she let out the second the taste touched her tongue was so addictive that Alex pulled his fingers out of her mouth and dipped them back inside her to let her indulge again in the taste. 

If she continued making those noises, they wouldn’t make it to the show that night. He couldn’t care less about canceling it, having Ella for the rest of the day was the only thing he really wanted. 

When Ella let go off his fingers with a pop after the second taste, Alex pounced on her lips with need. He couldn’t find an explanation as to why when it came to Ella, he just couldn’t get enough. He could never entirely satiate his need for her, so he turned off the shower and guided her back out to bed. 

The sheets ended up drenched since they didn’t care to dry themselves out before continuing what they’d started in the shower, and they didn’t care to stop pleasuring each other one way or another until they were interrupted by a call from the band’s tour manager.

Alex could barely speak back to Steven during the brief call because Ella wouldn’t stop rolling her hips as she rode him. His voice cracked multiple times, and all she could do was smirk watching his cheeks tinting bright pink and holding his breath. 

“You’re cruel,” he accused after ending the call and tossing his phone to the other side of the bed. 

Ella leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, adjusting her weight on her knees to start riding him properly again, “You think?”

She pouted at him in faux innocence and he shook his head in response, “Really cru– shittt.”

Her smirk was wide on her face, watching him crumble as she started bouncing on his cock. It wasn’t long before he came inside her again, the view of her tits bouncing right in front of his face, the sound of their skin slapping as it met and Ella’s sweet moans and whimpers, Alex was done for.

The fact that they hadn’t had a proper rest was obvious when they got to the venue and met everyone in the greenroom. It was a mixture of Ella yawning every other minute and the lovebites peeking through the open collar of Alex’s shirt. Another round of shit talking and piss taking happened at the arrival of the couple, which was only met by a giggly Ella and a possessive Alex.

Ella kind of wanted the teasing to continue because she loved feeling Alex’s hands all over her as he chatted back to every comment everyone made about them. Her giggles were bubbly and they made Alex smile brightly every time, he couldn’t keep his facade of seriousness when her chest rumbled against his with laughter at every joke at their expense. 

The energy in the greenroom was incredible and it translated into a fucking incredible show. Ella was once again mind blown by the lads’ abilities to put on shows like that, shows that got people screaming and singing along loudly, dancing and jumping around, she even saw a mosh pit from the side of the stage and she was baffled. 

The pride that filled her chest didn’t leave her for the entirety of the night, and it showed in the hugs she gave the whole band, the kisses she peppered all over Alex’s face at random, the whispered compliments in Alex’s ear. 

“You’re fucking incredible, you know that right?”

The brush of her lips against the shell of his ear had Alex humming in content, but his curiosity piqued, “Hmmm, what are you trying to get darling?”

Ella pulled back and scoffed softly, “What? Nothing! I’m just trying to tell my boyfriend that he is amazing!”

“You’re too cute,” he said before stealing a sweet kiss. Once he pulled back, his eyes, glimmering with devotion, took in how beautiful she looked and couldn’t help but add, “You’re unreal.”

Of course Ella took it as him complimenting her back, so she shook her head with a little giggle before adding, “No, I mean it. I love hearing you sing, it’s my favorite thing.” 

Cockily he let himself relax on the settee they were occupying, bringing his arm to rest over her shoulders with a smoothness that dripped in his voice as he said, “What else?”

The snort Ella let out broke the smug look on his face, a bright grin tugging at the corners of his mouth when she scrunched her nose up at him as she leaned in and whispered, “I’ll indulge you just this once because the show was insane.” 

He raised his brows, “Right.”

“Stop,” she squealed as she brought her hand up to cover his face and playfully pushed him away. Her own body betrayed her when she hid her reddening face in the crook of his neck and mumbled against his skin, “Okay, I can’t do it anymore, you’re making me blush.” 

“No, don’t hide!” Alex managed in between chuckles. The noise made her giggle along, her body vibrating with love and the need to just never leave his side. 

One of his hands went up to her neck, fingers clutching her tightly enough for her to gasp as he pulled her out of her hiding place, “C’mere.”

Leaning in until their noses bumped together and their lips brushed, he whispered against her mouth, “I fucking love you.” 

Heat rushed up Ella’s neck and cheeks, she felt like a high school girl with an embarrassing crush every time he uttered those words. “Love you more,” she whispered back to him.

That smirk that drove her mad broke on his face, and she already knew what he was going to say before he actually did. 

“Impossible.”

Ella rolled her eyes playfully and hit his chest softly, pushing him away enough for his hand to drop from around her neck. But before Ella could joke about him ruining the moment, Alex grabbed the hand she had shoved him with and intertwined their fingers. In a blink of an eye, he pressed their joint hands against his erratic heart and with his other hand, he cupped her jaw to pull her into a kiss that made her heartbeats stutter. 

Breana had to swallow a coo at her friends, her heart melting in her chest when finally being able to see them carefree and loving each other; no more miscommunication, just being obsessed with each other like they had quietly been for so long. 

Despite them all teasing the couple and making jokes at their expense, they were all incredibly happy to finally see them together. It just made so much sense, it was something that had taken far too long to happen. And it was the best thing to see Alex always smiling, his energy through the roof every night, his laughter a little louder, his smiles bigger. 

“We love you two but I would like to sleep and not have my ceiling creak tonight, alright?” Nick warned as he got into his bunk when they all finally went from extending their night on the tour bus lounge to getting ready for bed as they drove up to San Francisco. 

Ella snorted, “No promises.”

“Eleanor,” Nick said with a stern look on his face that Ella cackled about.

When her laughter stopped, she sighed and rolled her eyes, “You lot are no fun. Goodnight.”

But the truth was that she was just kidding. When the realization that they were driving up to Outside Lands hit her as they got back on the tour bus, nostalgia overcame her and all the memories of the years that had passed flooded her mind. 

And it seems like nostalgia was playing a number on Alex too because after they got comfortable in bed, he asked, “Remember our first Outside Lands?” 

Her finger stopped tracing circles on the skin of his chest when she did the math on how long it had been. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly in shock, “God… That was three years ago, wasn’t it?” 

Alex hummed, rubbing his thumb on the skin of her lower back, “Almost. We were on the 13th then, so we’re playing 5 days earlier this time around.”

Ella couldn’t help but half sit up and look at him in further shock at his memory, “How– You remember the exact day?”

The singer snickered watching the surprise written on her face, he smirked as he started, “Hard to forget when it was the first time I saw you in cowboy boots.”

Ella laughed at the cheeky wink he gave her, going back to cuddling him as she replied, “You’re funny, sweetness.”

“You looked so good that day,” Alex added, letting his hand wander down from her waist to her ass to cup it and squeeze it as he confessed, “I still remember wanting to kiss you when you put my jacket on during the Black Keys’ set.”

“Careful, people might think you’ve fancied me a while,” the director joked as she tried downplaying how flustered his admission and touch were making her. 

Alex shrugged and then turned his head to the side to look down and into her eyes, “They wouldn’t be wrong.” 

His gaze fell on her lips and Ella was too weak when it came to him to fight the urge to kiss him. The slotting of their lips together and the brush of his tongue against hers were her favorite things, she couldn’t deny herself from indulging in the pleasure of his kisses. All of them, the hot and needy, the desperate and impatient, the sweet and loving, the hurried but unmissable. 

“And now we’re here,” Ella concluded when they pulled back.

A loopy smile broke on his face when he nodded, “We’re right here.”

He squeezed her ass again and she squeaked, making him giggle. That reminded her of how much of a menace he and the guys had turned out to be that first Outside Lands. 

Pointing an accusatory finger at him, she recalled, “You lot got me very tipsy that day! I was technically working, but y’all have always been trying to get me in trouble.”

Alex brough a hand to his chest, his mouth opening in offense at the accusation. He was quick to counter the claims, “Matt was trying, I was the one giving you water, remember?”

Clarity hit her when she remembered Alex being the logical one, she had to give it to him, “Hmm, yeah that is right.” Ella shook her head and sighed, “Bloody Matt.”

Alex smiled when Matt was mentioned and he remembered another great thing that happened during the weekend of their first Outside Lands, “And a day after that we all met Bre.”

Ella froze and looked up at him, mouth agape in shock yet again. This time though, her lips pursed into a pout quite quickly as her eyes got teary, “I’m actually going to cry.”

Alex saw the tears brimming her eyes and he cooed, “Darling…”

She sniffled, blinking rapidly to avoid tears falling, “It’s just– I’m feeling really nostalgic.”

“Yeah, me too. But no tears, alright?” Alex spoke softly, brushing her hair back and then letting his hand fall down her face to cup her cheek and rub it softly.

Ella nodded, taking a breath and kissing the palm of Alex’s hand before she recalled a thing which had had her mind reeling that weekend three years ago, “Remember flirting with me at the bar after we wrapped up recording Suck it and See?”

Alex blushed, the cringey lines he had drunkenly used on Ella coming to the forefront of his mind, “Perhaps.”

“You and those shitty pick up lines,” Ella shook her head, “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Alex took the chance of that turn around, smugly looking down at her and raising his brows and impulsing her to continue with a suave, “Oh yeah?”

Ella rolled her eyes as she admitted, “It’s embarrassing how you had me blushing and giggling with those awful one-liners.”

The singer chuckled with her, but quickly and seriously asked, “They’ve gotten better though, no?”

Ella snorted and shook her head no, because they had not gotten better at all. But he took that to slight offense, exaggerating it by gasping loudly and pressing a hand to his chest.

“I’m wounded.”

Sighing and rolling her eyes, she let him have a bit of consolation but not without a dig at him, “Okay they might have gotten a bit better, but you remain a drama queen.”

A scoff left him, “Double murder now.”

Ella gaped at him and pointed out, “See? Drama que-”

But he interrupted with a mumbled, “Shut up,” before he grabbed her face and pressed their lips together. 

Ella moaned softly into the kiss, the possessiveness of his hold as his fingers dug on her cheeks had her wanting to climb on his lap and ride him while he handled her however he pleased. But she had promised herself that she would behave herself, and she would. 

When they pulled back, she stared at him for a few seconds and took him in all over again, as if it was the first time. She let a pathetic little enamored sigh out before thinking out loud, “I can’t believe it’s only been 3 years since we met.”

Alex intertwined their fingers and kissed her back of her hand softly, “Feels way longer, doesn't it?”

With a hum, Ella agreed. Suddenly the image of him in the studio came back to her in full force, his shaggy hair, that shy smile, and his incredibly thick northern accent. She smiled at him now, who would’ve thought back then that they would end up like this. 

“You know, I miss your old shaggy hair,” she confessed to him in a whisper, “The one you had for the Brick by Brick video.”

His brows furrowed, “You don’t like this hair?”

“I love it,” Ella was quick to reply, brushing her fingers through it and biting her bottom lip when his eyes fluttered shut at the touch. She couldn’t help but mumble, “You’re hot,” before kissing him again, a pleasure she couldn’t deny herself. Yet, she arrived at the same initial comment, “But I miss your old hair.”

“Why?” He questioned. It wasn’t like he hated that hair but he thought this haircut suited him better. However, if she was the one to ask him to grow his hair, he definitely could.

She shrugged, “I dunno, it was cute.” 

Alex tried not to chuckle, it was obvious that wasn’t what she actually thought of it, “Cute?”

She sighed, knowing he wouldn’t stop until she said what she actually had in mind, “I thought it looked very pullable…”

His eyes darkened and he wasted no time to lean in, their lips brushing as he whispered into her mouth, “Filthy, filthy girl.”

His mouth came on hers hot and hard, stealing the oxygen from her lungs in a split of a second. They licked into each other’s mouth, drunk on their taste and the feeling of their bodies pressed together. The desperation seeped through their pores as their hands started roaming, grabbing, pulling, scratching. 

Alex groaned when he pushed his hips forwards, his cock, already growing heavy in his joggers, pressing against her thigh. 

Ella had to be the one responsible then. Pulling back, she reminded her boyfriend, “For their own sake, we need to be considerate tonight.”

Out of breath, he pointed out the bottom line of her words, “Just tonight?”

She sighed in defeat when she realized, “And tomorrow night I guess.”

But Alex had a solution and he said it quickly, a statement like it was written on stone already, “We’re sneaking in here tomorrow when everyone’s busy enjoying the festival.”

She frowned, “I’m not missing Kacey Musgraves.”

Alex couldn’t hold back a bright smile. She would always get her way. He nodded, “After her set.”

“Deal,” Ella muttered before putting her hand out for them to shake on it. Alex smiled even bigger when he shook her hand and she added, “Same thing Sunday?”

“Well, do you wanna see anyone?”

She took a few seconds to think about the lineup and the schedule before giving her brief answer, “Just Haim, I think.”

More than pleased, Alex whispered, “We got all day then, darling.”

Ella winked and concluded, “It’s a date.”

And a damn good but exhausting date those two days at Outside Lands turned out to be. 

They all got to sleep in while their crew unloaded their set gear, getting everything ready on the Twin Peaks stage before the festival started at noon. When the band, Ella, and Breana decided to finally get up and go to the festival, the place was filled with people and good music. 

They all enjoyed themselves, drinking and eating around, dancing and smoking. It felt like Ella and Alex were carrying a shared ticking clock that made them so incredibly eager for the Kacey Musgraves set that their friends found it odd when the couple left before she fully got off stage. 

The excuse had been that Ella forgot to get extra film rolls and she had already ran out of the one on her Minolta from all the pictures she had been taking. However, when the two of them got to the bus, they had left a trail of clothes down the hall to the back lounge where they finally and freely made all the noise they wanted as they enjoyed some alone time. 

Much needed really, with all the space and the freedom of an empty bus, after having had to hold back the night before, and with the anticipation building up all day. The both of them were spent after an hour of teasing and edging, admiring every inch of each other’s body. 

They rushed back to meet with the group once they felt they looked decent enough to conceal their rendezvous, finding everyone getting more tipsy in the artists’ tent by the stage they were performing soon. 

A bit of a questioning ensued, but nothing that a round of shots grabbed by Alex couldn’t cut short. The drinks flowed and so did the conversation, in no time the lads were chugging the last of their drinks to go on stage, while Ella and Breana escaped out to the VIP section of the crowd where they had decided to enjoy the show from. 

Pride filled the girls’ chests when the crowd got incredibly loud and absolutely crazy the second that band stepped foot on stage. The feeling had the two of them singing a little louder, dancing more carelessly. 

When Arabella started, Ella felt a different kind of elation. And everyone could see it, she was practically fucking glowing as she sang and danced, the sway of her hips and her arms up on the air captivated Alex’s gaze.

He was so distracted by her, especially when the bridge started and she stared straight at him while she sang along, that he fully forgot he was meant to grab his guitar for the guitar solo at the end. 

It took him a few seconds to realize his mistake, but when he turned and hurried to get his guitar, Ella let out a chesty laugh. Her cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling so hard by the end of the song, and they would continue to ache throughout the whole show for she could not keep the grin off her face. 

The celebration of such an incredible show elongated until around 3 in the morning since they managed to bring a few bottles back to the bus. Drunk on vodka and rum—a horrible combination that they would all regret the next day—, they all went to sleep and the snores were heard inside the bus until they all rose from their bunks well after noon. 

A hungover Ella barely made it to the Haim set, dragging a heavily hungover Breana, and Alex who was in a better state than both of the girls. At least the good music had been great in lifting their spirits up and by the time they all met back on the tour bus to go back to the festival, everyone felt way better. 

They were leaving earlier that day because the band’s flight to Canada left in the early night, Ella’s flight back to LA had been booked that night too, so they only had a few hours left to enjoy the festival. 

Alex and Ella took the first chance of distraction to escape their friends and go on with their planned escapade to the bus, one which ended with them loving each other slowly but deliberately, enjoying the last moments of quiet and calm, and of each other’s company before they had to be apart for a fortnight. 

This time, they didn’t even bother to go back and find their friends again. They stayed in the bus, taking their time in picking up the mess they had left, indulging in more sweet touches and stolen kisses after they had gone back to resting in Alex’s bunk. 

They only moved when everyone got back and it was time to get their things ready before leaving for the airport. As Ella helped Alex put some things back in his case, she truly wished that, in the future, whenever they had to pack their stuff up it was because they were going somewhere together, not saying goodbye. 

When they got to the airport, the fact that they all were taking flights was at least a consolation because Ella and Alex could be glued together through security and while waiting. Since Ella’s flight left an hour later than the lads and Bre’s flight, she could freely stay with them at their gate without worrying about missing her flight. 

As a group decision, they went to McDonald’s first and got some food to have while they waited for boarding to start. The chatter was never-ending with them all, always laughing and finding new things about each other, picking up old stories and creating new inside jokes. This time, the joke that had been revealed for the first time to Ella were the plane slippers that Alex always used when at the airport lounges and inside the plane. 

“Sweetness, really?” Ella laughed when Alex pulled the white slippers out and exchanged them with his loafers. 

Alex smiled like a little kid, blushing when hearing his mates starting to take the piss out of him and letting Ella know he always did that. 

“They’re quite comfortable,” he mumbled, slightly embarrassed. 

The commentary from everyone else was making her laughter uncontrollable, but she couldn’t stop herself from kiss him because she found him so fucking adorable for it, despite how equally hilarious it was. 

After a few minutes, everyone calmed down, and as the sun set and the lounge got fuller, the group was caught up by their exhaustion. One by one they started falling asleep, the chatter around serving as a white noise that dulled their senses until they succumbed to slumber. 

Ella had been chatting to Alex, their volume going down progressively as they got closer, until they ended up as cuddled as they could be on their side-by-side chairs. Ella’s legs were thrown over his lap, her head rested on his shoulder and Alex rested his head on top of hers, his hands clutching her thighs in place. 

They were at peace, enjoying the last minutes of their company. Nothing bothered them until they woke up due to the voice calling for boarding through the speakers. It would be first class first and so the band and Breana had to stand up and get in the line as soon as possible. 

Alex wanted to take his sweet time and so he took advantage of the fact that the first class line had gotten long and so there was no need to rush just yet. He stretched in his seat just like Ella was doing, making sure nothing had fallen out of his pockets soon after and just making sure he had his bag beside him. 

He turned to stare at Ella as she brushed her hair with her fingers, checking her plane ticket for her gate number and boarding time. When she had repeated the gate number enough times in her head to memorize it, she put the ticket back in her bag, and met Alex’s gaze. 

“Rock en Seine in two weeks, darling,” Alex reminded her with that deep voice he usually had every morning when he woke up.

Ella felt herself melting in her seat when hearing him like that. She leaned in and stole a chaste kiss before smiling brightly at the prospect of getting to be in Paris with him so soon, “Can’t wait.”

“I’m flying you out,” Alex reminded her, and she nodded because she knew how long of an argument it had been when he invited her but didn’t allow her to pay her own ticket. But he shocked the air out of her lungs when he added, “Private plane.”

Ella glared at him, “Alexander.”

He looked at her super confused, and as if he hadn’t said the most outrageous thing, he innocently asked, “What?”

“Absolutely not,” Ella sternly decided, “A first class ticket is as far as I will go, not a fucking private plane.”

Alex pouted, resting a hand on her upper thigh and squeezing as if to distract her, “But you can be comf–”

She interrupted before he could even finish that statement, “A seat that reclines into a bed, a champagne glass as a welcome and better food than a damn sandwich and a granola bar is the greatest thing I can think of, so first class is the only thing I will accept.”

He didn’t know how else to convince her, not when she seemed so set on her decision already. But he just had to confirm that by asking, “You sure?”

Ella saw the way his face had fallen, and so she let a smile shine on her face for him to realize that it wasn’t something that was bothering her. She cupped his face and pecked his lips before confirming, “Yes, my love! You’re taking me to fucking France for the first time in my life, even if I went on a dingy little boat I would be sure.” 

Out of everything that she thought Alex could say, she wasn’t expecting him to hear her and then reply with, “We’ll go on a cruise next then.”

A blank expression took over her face, her voice humorless as she said, “Alex.”

He quipped back with, “Ella,” in the same tone, struggling to keep his giggles at bay.

The director rolled her eyes and put an end to the matter before he could get any more ideas, “Just get me the first class ticket, I don’t want more than that.”

“Okay, darling. I’ll send you the confirmation email when we’re in Canada.”

With a nod the chat ended, but that meant that Alex was going so, after they stood up from their seats, they leaned in and met in the middle for a slow but bittersweet goodbye kiss. One that they tried to elongate as long as they could, trying to push their human boundaries and fight against their natural need for oxygen just so that they could enjoy a few more seconds of their lips together. 

When they pulled back, Ella wasn’t fighting the urge to steal a peck from him, but then Alex did the same, and that turned into an endless cycle of stolen chaste kisses that broke smiles on their faces. 

It was so unbelievably cute until the lads started calling Alex over, and the singer fully ignored them, deciding to indulge in one last proper kiss with his girlfriend. 

Yet, when Ella pulled back to let him go, Alex followed her lips, stealing kiss after kiss. 

“Swee–” Ella tried saying but she was interrupted by his lips on hers, “Bab–” Smack. “Lo–” Smack.

Exasperated because she could see over his shoulder that all of first class had gone in and the band had scanned their tickets, just waiting on Alex to come through, Ella took a big step back and pointed at the door to have him look at the state of the no-longer-there line, “Alex, you’re making them wait!”

He mumbled a curse under his breath, asking himself how the fuck had the line moved that quickly. But it didn’t matter, not when he felt the need to steal one last peck before grabbing his bag and turning around to dash to the door, yelling “Love you!” over his shoulder and waving her goodbye.

Ella laughed as she watched him strangely jog his way up to the door in those horrid slippers, her heart exploding in her chest seeing him just exist. It wasn’t embarrassing at all for the whole airport to hear as she yelled back a loud, “Love you!” 

She watched as he scanned his ticket and passport with a big smile on his face. Even from afar, she could see the adoration that filled his brown eyes when he turned around and waved her goodbye. 

A few more steps and he’d be gone. Ella’s heart then squeezed and wilted in her chest. But she fought the urge to cry by blowing him a kiss. A kiss that he made a show to catch in the air, like he always did, only this time he smashed it against his lips and successfully had Ella giggling like a foolishly drunk-in-love girl. 

The silly, enamored smile stayed plastered on her face even through the terrifying experience that was take-off.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella had always liked the idea of travelling, though the feeling of a plane taking off always kept her from actually doing it, but buying a new plane ticket always had her giddy. Most of the places she had gone had been inside the States though, not really being brave enough to face the long hours flights outside the country. That was exactly why she had taken so long to process that she was flying to France of all places.

Seeing all the airport signs in French, the thick accents, and quick conversations surrounding her, had her in awe. 

She sort of wished she had taken French instead of Spanish in high school, even though that came in handy when living in Los Angeles. She wished she could say more than ‘hello, my name is’ and ‘thank you’ in French. Plus, she knew she was butchering the pronunciation simply from the mocking faces of those she had spoken to at the airport.

That is exactly why she found herself so turned on when Alex spoke some French to the driver that took him to the airport to pick her up. 

She squirmed in her seat as he named different places they drove by, and of course he noticed; he had noticed from the very moment he told the driver they were ready to go. Alex knew now exactly what the way she bit her bottom lip meant, how her eyes darkened when her mind was plagued with filthy thoughts. 

He kissed her slowly and deliberately any chance he got, it must have been something in the French air—or simply the fact that not seeing her for two weeks had actually managed to drive him mad.

It was clear by then that he was utterly fucked. There was no chance he could ever go on tour without her now, and finding out if he was actually capable of withstanding the distance wasn’t something he was willing to do.

But he would figure that out soon enough. He just wanted to enjoy that very moment with Ella, drink in the wonder in her eyes and how clingy she was after the time apart. Alex wasn’t any better, clutching her thighs as they lay atop of his own, rubbing small circles over her denim-clad legs while he scrolled on his phone to play some music in the earphones they were sharing.

Ella had never really asked how much French her boyfriend knew, but hearing him sing in a foreign language under his breath had her amazed. Really she had no clue if he was doing a good job or not, but it was hard to hide how enamoured she was. 

That was until he made her cackle uncontrollably as he sang a song called “Les Cactus” a little louder than he had done the others. Apparently it was his favourite, and it showed in the enthusiasm he had as he made a fool of himself in the car.

Seeing French streets and the countryside as they drove to the festival had taken over most of her experience in the car. Alex made sure to tell her all the facts he knew about the country, along with a little lesson of some phrases in French for her to use. Of course, he added a promise to bring her back, give her the proper experience of a city that he had grown very fond of throughout the years. 

Ella was feeling spoiled already, after the most comfortable flight she had ever been on, being picked up by Alex and getting an infinite amount of cuddles and kisses on their way to Rock en Seine. Yet, Alex told her that he had a little surprise waiting for her when they got to the bus. 

It left her mind as soon as she saw the guys and Breana around the lounge having a late breakfast, so she gasped loudly when she pulled back from hugging Nick and stumbled into her boyfriend who was holding a box in his hands. 

Plain white and with a little red bow, she thought how cute he must have looked putting it together. She kissed that boyish smile off his lips first, a small thank you falling from her lips before taking the box from him with her mind full of intrigue.

He watched expectantly as she sat down at the edge of the lounge settee and carefully undid the bow, stopping before opening the box to ask, “Sweetness, what is it?”

Alex just smiled like a fool, he knew she was gonna like it but he needed to see her reaction already, “Just open it and you’ll know, darling.”

Looking around at the rest of their friends, she was met with soft smiles from everyone. Matt’s, however, did falter as he rolled his eyes when Ella lingered for a bit instead of opening the gift.

“Christ, you’re killing me, Eleanor. Open the bloody box,” the drummer said. He had no idea when his best mate had gotten whatever was inside, and he was intrigued as well.

Ella only chuckled before finally opening the box, and she squealed excitedly when she was met with a cute polaroid camera that she had been thinking of buying for ages. 

As she jumped off her seat to hug and kiss her boyfriend, Matt reached for the box to see what it was and he couldn’t help but smile when he realised then why Alex had been so adamant on knowing all about polaroid cameras a few weeks before.

The lads knew all about the inquiries the singer had made to Matt, so they smirked knowingly and made sure to relay the information to the girls. 

“He’s whipped,” Jamie said with a hint of a smirk in his voice, the smack of Ella’s lips all over Alex’s face softly in the background.

But they all knew that fact already, and it was pretty obvious just how much Ella matched the sentiment as they all finally went out to enjoy the festival.

Picture after picture was taken and printed by the brand new Polaroid camera that Ella was loving with every bit of her. Every chance she got, she stole another kiss off Alex’s lips, one that Alex knew meant thank you for they came after every picture she would take.

Ella was so incredibly happy she had a new camera to play with while she was over, enjoying a bit of their tour together and could capture the most candid shots and them becoming tangible instantly. By the time the lads had wrapped up their set at Rock en Seine, drove to the airport, and got on their flight back to the UK, Ella had probably around fifty pictures in her bag.

Getting to go to France to see her boyfriend perform had been such a privilege to her, something she would have never imagined would happen to her; but when they took off and were headed back to England, she was filled with another level of excitement since it meant she was finally gonna see them perform at Reading and Leeds Fest.

Reading and Leeds had been something she was looking forward to since Alex told her they would be headlining that year, before they were even together. He had spoken about the festival the same way she would do Bonnaroo, and she had been dying to see them playing it. 

The lineup was incredible as well, so Ella was just buzzing with energy the second they landed on British soil. 

It was hard to hide, and Alex’s cheeks hurt from smiling so big at Ella’s childish enthusiasm while en route to Reading.

Not only was she excited to see her boyfriend and best friends absolutely kill their set, but she was also excited to meet with some friends she hadn’t seen in so long, like Pale Waves and The 1975. 

It was a shame she wasn’t going to see the Manc boys because they were playing the opposite Festival the days the Monkeys were on so they wouldn’t be able to enjoy R&L together, but she was going to be able to see Pale Waves open for the Monkeys both times so that was great news to her.

Ella was really excited to see Alice and catch up with her, since it had been a while since she had last spoken to her. However, she wasn’t expecting to find out what she did while hanging out together in the Monkeys trailer.

It all started with both bands meeting around the Artist’s Tent, getting some drinks together at the bar and chatting for a while. 

At first, everything was alright, laughter was heard all around the group, conversation flowing with ease. They had been interrupted here and there by some fans, but nothing that had thrown them or the group’s dynamic off. However, about half an hour later, the amount of people coming up to the lads to ask for pictures and to chat with them started rising to the point they felt suffocated. So the Monkeys decided it would be good to take the group to their trailer for a bit of peace.

About an hour passed and Oscar, Zara, and Connor excused themselves to go meet with some other friends that had just arrived at the festival. And a few minutes after Alice's bandmates had left, Katie and a very pregnant Kelly took their husbands to a set they were eager to watch.

Ella had been so caught up with her conversation with Breana and Alice that she didn’t even think of coming along with them. 

Matt had gotten a call about twenty minutes later, and he excused himself to go meet whoever had phoned him, dragging Breana with him. With the door closing behind the drummer and the model, the trailer only housed Ella, Alice, and Alex.

It was an interesting group of people, sure, but Ella wouldn’t have thought anything of it if it wasn’t for the fact that it felt like the air shifted a little. It was like Alex had grown a little stiff, and Alice was a little nervous. 

Ella knew about Alex’s aversion for Alice, but after having Pale Waves as openers for so long, the director felt the dynamic that was palpable in the air was a little odd. She would give him the benefit of the doubt, thinking about how it had almost been a year since the two bands had toured together.

However, it was weirder to see the confident Alice she has always known shift in her place a little, stumbling over her words from time to time when Ella was chatting with her.

And there was this look Ella noticed the two shared. She didn’t know whether to be worried or not, because it felt like they were hiding something. It was as if they were wordlessly trying to figure something out that only the two of them knew. 

Testing the waters, Ella started inching towards her suspicions. It wasn’t weird that she would ask about Alice’s romantic prospects, but it was odd that she wouldn’t joke along with her when Ella took the piss a bit when suggesting Alice could be their third now that Alex was officially with her. 

Not a single ‘leave him, I’ll treat you better,’ that she could have expected, not even a ‘bet he doesn’t make you cum like I do,’ that Ella knew Alice was capable of cheekily saying. And Alex choking on his beer and loudly coughing was another sign, as if he was trying to distract Ella.

So it wasn’t a surprise when the minutes passed, and the director was fed up with it. 

She cut straight to the point with a blunt inquiry, “You two have fucked, haven’t you?”

Ella smirked as she watched Alice’s pale skin turn bright red, the color going all the way up to the tips of her ears, and her gaze avoiding Ella’s entirely. When Ella turned to Alex, he was just as red, if not more, and he couldn’t hold his girlfriend’s gaze at all either. Just a pair of deer caught in headlights.

Ella gasped at the discovery. “When?” she asked, with a chuckle that left her involuntarily. She was so shocked, but there was a bitter feeling simmering in the bottom of her stomach.

Silence was all she was met with, and that had Ella fearing the worst. 

“Oh, c’mon. I’m just curious!” She faked being calm, a wide smile on her face that was very fake but none of them were looking at her anymore to notice. Ella couldn’t stop herself as she questioned, “When was it? Where?”

Alex and Alice sighed, knowing they couldn’t get away with it anymore. But the simultaneous sigh was the only thing they unknowingly had managed to agree upon, because they both shot themselves in the foot when giving different answers. 

“The tour bus,” came from Alice. While Alex had said, “A hotel in Vegas.”

“Oh,” was the only thing to fall from Ella’s lips when hearing their answers. Both of them now staring at the director, their eyes screaming honesty. Ella knew their answers meant it had happened back when the bands were touring together, which meant around November of the previous year, but that didn’t make it sting any less.

She was clearly jealous, she could easily point that out. But she found solace in the fact that it had happened way before she and Alex got together. 

The effort it took her to do the quick math in her head had distracted her slightly from the valuable information they had given her. But when she came back to it, her jaw dropped at the realization, “So… twice?”

It was hilarious to Ella hearing Alex let out a quick, “Fuck,” under his breath. He felt caught and guilty, very guilty.

Ella laughed out loud, how could she not? She had to find the humor in the situation so she didn’t drive herself crazy at this new wave of information. “It’s okay, love. Trust me, I get it.” She winked at Alice when saying that. Alice shifted in her place, she had no idea how to react to what was happening, much less when Ella added as she looked at her, “But I’m now sad you’ve fucked him as many times as you’ve fucked me.”

At her pout, Alice easily shook her head, reassuring the director with a genuine, “You’re still my favorite.”

Alex shook his head at that. Ella caught the movement with the corner of her eye and let her hand fall on his thigh. 

Rubbing his clothed leg up and down slowly, she said, “Oh don’t feel bad, sweets. At least now you know you won’t have to listen through the wall,” she dropped that bomb on him like it was nothing. Alex was already speechless with her saying that, how had she found out? He had no clue. 

But he had much less to say when Ella smirked at him, a hint of cynicism laced through her words, and added, “You can watch.”

Alex let the silence linger for a bit, looking at Ella straight in her eyes to find a hint of humor, but there wasn’t any. He scoffed as an answer, yet that wasn’t enough for Ella. She needed to push his buttons further.

She leant in, slowly closing the distance between her and the singer, her hand slowly creeping further up into dangerous territory. He wanted to squirm in his place, finding his girlfriend’s clearly jealous behavior incredibly hot. 

Ella’s voice fell to a whisper, but with the silence in the trailer, Alice managed to clearly listen as she told Alex, “Maybe if you behave I can let you participate. How’s that sound, hm?”

Alice was a little taken aback, unsure if Ella was being serious or not. Her tone saying one thing, but her body language saying another. The question left her without even thinking about it first, “You’re seriously considering it?”

“‘Course I am,” Ella answered, beaming at her. She would be honest when saying that, because she knew that would make for a fun night. She almost wanted to lock the trailer’s door and play out every scene that was flooding her mind with the both of them right then and there. 

“Thanks for letting me know that, by the way. It just makes it easier now,” Ella winked at Alice. “I’ll definitely be hitting you up with the details soon, baby.”

Alice was still stunned, not really knowing what to reply to that. Ella stopped her train of thought entirely when she grabbed Alex’s hand and stood up from her seat. The singer followed her actions, just as dumbfounded as Alice, not resisting whatever his girlfriend was planning on doing then.

“Now if you’ll excuse us, baby, I need Alex to come with me. Gotta get something from the bus.”

If Alex wasn’t too confused over Ella’s reaction, he would have easily realized that her excuse to leave was absolutely bullshit. The same excuse they had been using every time they had escaped their friends to go for a quick shag behind their backs. However, all he could think of was how deep in trouble he was now for keeping that information to himself.

They were walking for a while, Alex still lost in his thoughts but his strides matching Ella’s pace. He was conscious enough to notice they had gone past the tour bus area, though. But before he could mention it, Ella stopped in her tracks and faced him with a stern look on her face. 

She walked towards him, and he could only walk a step backwards before his back was pressed flush against the trunk of a tree. 

Ella smirked, invading his space. She leant forward, noses almost touching as she slowly questioned him, “So… Were you gonna keep that dirty little secret all to yourself then?”

Alex scrambled to apologize, “M’sorry darling, I–”

But she laughed. A hearty laugh that made her throw her head back. He was mortified, not knowing if she was angry or if she was okay with it. It was harder to figure out what she was thinking when he felt her hands fall on his chest, slowly making their way down to his hips as she said, “Alex. It’s okay. We weren’t even together then, why are you apologizing?”

He had no clue what to say. On one hand, he was relieved she knew that it had been ages ago; but on the other hand, he had no clue if it still angered her that he hadn’t told her.

She hummed, cocking her head, as if agreeing with his silence. And then Alex felt her pulling him impossibly closer by his belt buckle, “But I think you blushed a little too much back there, and I think you need reminding of who’s the only one who can make you feel good.”

His head was spinning. The past fifteen minutes had been an absolute roller coaster of emotions and thoughts, but now? His brain melted entirely. All he could mutter was a choked, “Fuck…” as she started kissing up his neck.

A trail of wet kisses was left by her as she made it up to the shell of his ear, which she bit softly before whispering, “What is it, baby? Need anything?”

Alex was putty in her hands already, the words falling from his lips with ease, “You. Need you.”

He felt the smirk pulling at the corners of her mouth against his skin. His eyes slowly peeled open when he felt her leave the crook of his neck, only to find her facing him again. She pressed a long peck on his mouth, humming before pulling back and stating, “You’re lucky I wanna get my knees dirty for you.” 

Alex’s breath hitched in his throat as she made her way down by quickly kissing down his neck and clothed chest until she was kneeling right in front of him. He was lucky his girlfriend had purposely pressed him against a tree, for he could have easily lost his footing when she lifted his shirt and licked a strip up his lower stomach before undoing his belt.

She worked with deft fingers, pulling his jeans and boxers down just enough for his hardening cock to be freed. 

Her mouth watered at the sight, and it was impossible to hold back from giving his tip a kitten lick. She hummed in content when tasting him again, before looking up at him through her lashes to say, “You look so pretty when you cum and I want you to fuck my mouth, okay? I wanna gag around your cock and swallow everything you give me.”

Alex threw his head back, cock twitching at that dirty little mouth of hers. The same one that started working on him in a split second. 

“Shit, baby,” he hissed when she fully sank her mouth down his length until she gagged. He thrusted forward involuntarily, making her choke. 

Her eyes watered, coughing a little as she came off him, taking a deep breath before adding, “And I want you to fucking scream my name. Let everyone in this place know who’s making you come undone, yeah?”

Her hand worked him up while she spoke, but it wasn’t the same as her warm mouth so he agreed in no time. A splutter of, “Yeah, yes. Yes.”

“Good boy,” she praised before letting her mouth envelope him all over again. 

Alex had no idea if it was her filthy talk, the way she was gagging on him from time to time, or if it was the thrill of possibly being caught that made his pleasure increase tenfold; what he knew is that he was a mess of whimpers and moans. Those sounds would have embarrassed him any other time, if it wasn’t for the fact that when he looked down, he could see her looking up at him as his cock disappeared time and time again in that beautiful mouth of hers.

“Oh–fuckkk, Ella,” his voice breaking as his hips started moving with her. He was so fucking close, his hand came to cradle her head, fingers tangling in her hair to hold her in place.

But she pulled back, her fingers wrapped around the base of him and continued working him up as she took a deep breath to say, “Louder baby, I know you can do better than that.”

Without wasting another second, she went back in. Her hand came down to play with his balls, fondling them and making him see stars. It was impossible for him not to grow louder, “Ella! Fuck!” 

His fingers clutched harder on her hair, and she hummed at the pain of him pulling on it without restraint. The reverberation of her moans made it feel so much better, he was forgetting to breathe. He gasped for air to be able to tell her, “M’gonna cum darlin–shit.”

She pulled back again but to encourage him. She was ruining her own underwear just from hearing him and watching how he crumbled down for her. “Fuck my mouth babe,” she encouraged, hand still wrapped around him. She sucked the tip of his cock, getting a taste of his precum and moaned, “I want you to stuff my throat.”

Alex was gone, he had no clue how he was meant to behave as a normal human being after this, “Oh my— Fuck.” His mind went blank once she started sucking him off again, this time taking him to the back of her throat every time. His hold on her hair was unwavering, and his thrusts grew more eager. He watched as he fucked her mouth, tears spilling down the corners of her eyes, smudged mascara staining her face. 

“Fucking hell, Ella.” He cussed in awe, “You’re a fucking dream.” His jaw fell as she made a mess of him. Her drool mixed with his precum and fell down her chin to her neck. Alex couldn’t stop himself from complimenting her, “So fucking beautiful gagging around my cock.”

He wished he could take a picture of her like this. Immortalize the moment, or just be able to have palpable proof that he wasn’t in fact dreaming. How had he managed to get this lucky? The words left him without having to even think about it, “Love you.” And they were as true as the tree he was leaning against, and the mud sticking to Ella’s bare knees, the chirping of the birds around them, the far-away festival noises that surrounded them. 

Though the sound of his cock invading her wet mouth was louder. His mind was reeling from how she overtook every single one of his senses. “Ah fuckkkk— Love you so fucking much.”

Alex could feel himself about to fall over the edge, an invisible grasp so close to his orgasm. His stirred up thoughts fell from his mouth in a load of gibberish, “Ell— Love you! Oh– fffuckk Ella!” 

Ella knew what was going to happen, and it was so incredibly satisfying to feel him twitching as he came, spilling his cum inside her mouth and painting her throat white. The noises he made drove her crazy and she had to clench her thighs hard, moaning in response to how vocal he was being. 

She worked him through it with her mouth, enjoying looking up at him through her lashes to witness his face crumble in overstimulation. A bit of cum spilling down the corner of her mouth once he finally pulled out of her. Alex tilted her head back, clutch still tight in her hair, and asked, “Let me see, darling.”

Ella opened her mouth, sticking her tongue out slightly for him to see his cum filling her mouth. He let go of her hair, hand coming down to cup her face, thumb wiping the bit of cum that had spilled out of her mouth and rubbing it on her bottom lip. He sucked in a breath before closing her mouth by pushing up on her chin and ordering her to, “Swallow.” 

She did so under his awaiting gaze, and noticed the way his pupils dilated impossibly more. Alex wrapped his hand around her throat, grip tightening and only making her smile wider as he pulled her up until she was fully standing in front of him. He pressed his lips against hers furiously, tasting himself on her tongue making him groan loudly. 

The kiss was bruising, marking their territory on each other, unwilling to pull back until their lungs burnt from lack of oxygen. They were heaving when they broke the kiss, and he pressed his forehead against hers, closing his eyes before saying, “I don’t think you understand how much I fucking love you.”

Of course Ella knew what she had just done, and she was happy that it got her the results she wanted. She pulled back and smirked brightly at him, so incredibly smug. Her voice sounded a little coarse, but no one could take away the sass in her tone as she replied, “Oh no, I think I do.”

“There's no one like you,” Alex promised, a love-sick puppy he was, “There’ll never be.”

The director grew even more smug at that, quipping back with a confident, “Yeah, you did say I have ruined you for everyone else.”

He hummed, giving her an elongated peck before confirming, “In the most incredible way.”

“Good to know,” she joked with a giggle, kissing him again for good measure. She looked down at her mud-caked knees and sighed, “Now, I actually gotta go to the bus and clean myself up.” She didn’t even want to look at how ruined her makeup was.

However, Alex didn’t take that literally. He followed after her and hugged her from behind, his mouth coming right to her ear to whisper, “Wanna go to my bunk?” in a seducing attempt.

The sun had almost disappeared on the horizon as they had gotten busy, so she pointed out while the sky darkened with each passing second,  “Don’t you have a set in less than two hours?”

He was dropping kisses on the side of her neck as they clumsily walked back to the bus, “Plenty of time.”

Her eyes fluttered closed for a second, “Sweetness…”

His teeth grazed her sensitive skin and he felt her shudder in his arms, “They won’t miss me.”

She laughed, stopping for a second to turn around in his grasp and look him in the eye to point out, “You forget you’re THE Alex Turner.”

He rolled his eyes, playing himself down, “Another boring ol’ bloke.”

“Oh you’re being humble now?” She jokingly asked, bringing her hand up to his forehead to continue her teasing, “Have you gotten a fever?”

He snorted, and told her, “Shut up.”

Only for her to give him whiplash as she replied, “Maybe if you’re good I can ride you out there tonight.” 

His eyes went wide and she cackled, “Don’t look at me like that. Think you quite enjoyed the fact that we could get caught, didn’t you?”

He stayed quiet for a bit, until she poked his side and he gave in with a shy, “Perhaps,” that made her smile.

“Filthy boy.” 

Though Ella would’ve loved to turn his back to the earth and show him his place by riding him and reminding him just how perfectly they fit together, the festival took up their time and they couldn’t find an appropriate moment to disappear like they had done earlier.

Reading and Leeds had been incredible though. Ella found herself having the most amazing time there with all her friends,finally understanding the magic of the festival that her boyfriend held so close to his heart. 

They had endless pictures to remember the weekend by, thankfully. And Ella had gone Instagram official with Alex to the entire world after Katie posted a picture of Ella on Alex’s shoulders in the crowd. 

She had been nervous at first, struggling to find the courage in her to see the comments after that stupid article that sent her spiraling back in June. But when she had gone through them as she cuddled Alex, she had found more love from fans than any negativity, and it had her so relieved.

Alex dropped a kiss atop of her head, “Told you no one can just not love you as soon as they meet you.”

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Usually Ella really hated Mondays, just like anybody else, really. But the Monday after Reading and Leeds weekend sounded very promising as soon as Florence had vaguely proposed a gathering at her and Matty’s flat to celebrate.

Flo had mentioned drinks, music, and all their friends in one place. What else could Ella ask for? 

Ella had been buzzing with energy as she got ready, stealing kisses here and there from Alex’s lips, humming and singing along to the music she was playing as she chose what to wear and how to do her hair. 

It was the last few days she had over in England before going back home, so she was making sure to enjoy every second she had left with her friends being all walking distance from her. 

She had even surprised Alex when she dashed to knock on Alice’s door and invite her over to Flo’s so that she could introduce her to everyone there. Little did she know, the singer was well acquainted with everyone. But she would find out soon enough. 

“Hey beautiful,” greeted George as soon as Ella stepped into his arms to say hello.

She hummed in the embrace, George holding her a little tighter by the waist when noticing Alex’s intense stare on his every move. Ella was none-the-wiser as she pulled back and gleefully asked the drummer, “How are you? I haven’t seen you in ages.”

Of course George would want to make Alex squirm a little, so he made sure to put a little more suave into his voice to cheekily reply, “Alright now that I see you again.”

Nick, who had been the one to open the door for the lovebirds, walked past to get another beer just in time to hear George flirting with Ella, so he warned with humour dampening his words, “Back off mate, Turner will kick your teeth in.”

George let a cheeky smile tug at the corners of his mouth, turning to the singer to nonchalantly say, “Oh, I heard.” He had heard just enough about it to know that they made a great pair, and he could see it now, the way the joy shone on their faces when they walked in holding hands. It wasn’t hard for the drummer to sincerely add, “Congratulations, yous make a lovely couple.”

That made Ella coo loudly, wrapping her arms around George’s waist in a quick hug as she accepted the compliment, “Awh, thank you G.”

Alex nodded his head slightly, a winning smile on his face before patting the drummer’s shoulder and matching his girlfriend’s sentiment, “Ta, mate.”

The drummer squeezed Ella for a second before she let go, but couldn’t let the pair go before joking with Alex, “You alright? Bet she’s wearing you off.”

Alex caught the innuendo straight away, the reminder that George and Ella had shagged before making him curl his fingers into fists, but a smirk cracking on his face as he remembered he got Ella in the end, not the drummer. 

Proudly, he nodded and confirmed, “Nothing I will ever complain about.”

“Hmm, isn’t that right.” George replied, turning to Ella and looking her right in the eye as he added, “She does make it enjoyable to lose hours of sleep.”

Ella gasped and slapped his arm, before telling him to “Shush.”

George let out a loud cackle at her reaction, and watched as she grabbed Alex’s hand and dragged him further into the flat so that they could finish saying hello to everyone there.

It was impossible for her cheeks not to hurt while they were at the Healy’s place. Seeing all their friends in one place, sharing drinks, drowning the music playing through the speakers with chatter and laughter; simply just existing all together—it brought a massive smile to Ella’s face that she just couldn’t wipe off.

The drinks she had been nursing had started to translate into a nice buzz inside her. Her head felt lighter and laughter flowed out of her with ease. She kept clinging to her boyfriend when she sat right beside him in a loveseat in the living room, but she also found herself looking for physical contact with everyone. Subconsciously, she was making sure she hugged all her friends enough to not regret not doing it when she went back to LA alone.

That meant Alex was on edge when George would pull her in conversation, and his arm would confidently wrap around Ella’s waist while she clutched onto his arms, giving him all the attention in the world when the drummer spoke. 

There had been a moment, Matty had turned the speakers’ volume up as one of his favorite tunes came on, but that meant Ella struggled to have George listen to what she was saying. Alex’s heart dropped to his ass when he saw Ella wrapping an arm behind the drummer’s neck and pulled him in. The singer feared the worst, his blood running cold instantly, but there was a slight wave of relief when her mouth moved right next to his ear, instead of the drummer’s lips.

When Ella came back to the loveseat he was occupying, Alex sat her down on his lap, wrapping his arm around her waist. He happily accepted the kiss Ella gave him, elongating it as much as he could and silently hoping that George was watching.

Alex was jealous, and he would admit it. He had hope that, by then, George had caught the sign and he would turn it down a notch when it came to Ella. 

But Alex had been hopeful far too soon, for there was a knock at the door, and when Florence opened it, Alice walked right into the flat grabbing Ella’s attention instantly. 

“Hi Allie,” Ella said as she hugged the singer by the waist.

Alice smiled and dropped a kiss on Ella’s cheek, “Hey baby. Missed you.”

Ella giggled as she pulled back, “I know, those twenty four hours were unbearable.” Last they had seen each other had been the day before, when they said goodbye to each other as the bands finally left Leeds Fest and went back to London.

“Thanks for inviting me, by the way,” Alice said earnestly, she could see many familiar faces that she had missed, “It’s good to finally see old friends again.”

“Old friends?” Ella was slightly confused. She had been ready to go around introducing Alice to the Manc boys. “You know the 1975 guys?”

“Sure do,” Alice smirked as she reminisced, “Some better than others.” 

Ella understood the innuendo straight away, and her brain started working overtime to figure out who she could mean. Only the answer fell right onto her lap when none other than George walked up to them and a confident smile appeared on Alice’s face as she greeted him like they had history, “Well hello there, George Daniel. Long time no see.”

“Alice Gillespie,” the drummer replied with a sultry voice. If Ella wasn’t so shocked, she would have shivered at his tone. And the director’s jaw would only fall more when he went to hug Alice and noted, “It’s been a while since I’ve had you in my arms.”

Alice let out a hum of satisfaction, one so similar to the sounds Ella knew the singer made while in bed, “Oh I’ve missed the feeling.”

The tension that surrounded them was so heavy, Ella’s words came out of her in a hurry, “Wait– You two…?” 

Alice nodded, smirking at Ella’s surprised face, “Yeah. Ages ago, when we were just introducing our names in the music scene.”

“She’s grown,” George said, taking a step back to make a show of looking Alice up and down, “In all aspects of the word.”

“You too George,” Alice bit her bottom lip when noticing the way his arms flexed and tightened the fabric of his shirt, “I might just cling to these muscly arms all night if you let me.”

Ella knew the look on each other’s face, and her face went bright red as she knew they were undressing each other with their eyes. She felt like she was intruding in an intimate moment, but her body was going against her reason for she wanted to stay and watch if they let her. Fuck, her mind was flooded with dirty thoughts already, her skin heating as if molten lava was coursing through her veins at the thought of Alice and George together.

“Y’alright, Ella?” George’s voice got her out of her trance.

“Yeah, yes,” Ella replied, shaking her head, “I’m just a bit in shock.”

“You’re cute, baby,” Alice snorted, watching the way her flush reaching down her neck and up to the tips of her ears, “Your every filthy thought is written all over your face. S’a pity you’re taken now.”

Ella felt like a deer caught in headlights, her mouth opened and closed as she worked out an excuse in her head but nothing worked. Alice giggled loudly, dropping a quick kiss on her cheek before grabbing her hand in plans to get to the bar so they could get some drinks.

“We’ll see you around Georgie. Don’t get lost, I quite enjoy the view,” Alice winked at the drummer, and he smiled big and bright at her. 

He had missed her cheekiness a lot, a buzz of excitement brewing inside him. Winking back at her, he promised, “Won’t stray too far then, gorgeous.”

After some shots, Alice and Ella went around the party chatting with everyone, until Ella went back to Alex who had just welcomed Miles into the flat. Ella had fully forgotten about Alice and George’s situation until Miles mentioned how they looked like they were gonna take up the guest room at any second and just enjoy each other for days.

They looked fit together, and Ella had been first hand witness of the suffocating tension that enveloped those two. From then on, Ella would admit she had been a bit distracted watching them from afar, wondering what it was that they were whispering to each other, in awe of how they orbited back towards each other as time passed.

George and Alice had noticed her wandering gaze, and they had reached a moment in which they silently agreed they would give into Ella’s curiosity and let her be in the middle of the sandwich. 

Teases, the both of them were, for they were smooth with it and Ella was naive to their silent plan. They would individually come up to her, almost like taking turns, only for the other to join them and aim the flirting at each other. If Ella had pearls adorning her neck, she would’ve most likely been clutching them as Alice and George taunted the other; maybe even recalling aloud the times the two had shared before, leaving Ella jaw dropped and incredibly flustered.

Alex had been so relieved when Alice and George kept each other busy and left Ella alone to mingle around. And though he had wanted to smack the back of Miles’ head for bringing Ella’s attention back to the pair, he was glad they had stayed away from his girlfriend. 

The last he had seen of Ella, Bre had taken her away from him to catch up with Katie and Kelly, who had just had a doctor’s appointment that morning and had gotten some  great news about the baby. She was almost 34 weeks, and they were all expecting the baby’s arrival quite soon. Ella was quite gutted she was leaving before Kelly’s due date, but she was so happy that in no time, they would all have their little baby Monkey to spoil.

Alex had been chatting with Ross and Matt for a while in the kitchen. They had been nursing their drinks and getting refills as they stood right next to the selection of alcohol available to everyone, best seats in the house really, plus the music was not as loud there so the conversation flowed easily. 

However, when he came back out to the living room, he saw Katie, Bre, and Kelly chatting all alone, Ella seemingly gone from that group of people. He looked around the room, confused for he could not find her. He walked further down, decided to go to the bathroom and knock on the door, and then he saw her in the corner of the room with George and Alice.

He hadn’t noticed he was standing in the middle of the room, the grip on his beer bottle tightening, jaw clenching. Florence had noticed straight away, she had been watching the trio in the corner of the room very attentively for the past ten minutes, and then Alex walked into the scene. 

Flo couldn’t help but excuse herself and walk up to her best friend to take the piss out of him for a bit. 

She smirked as she walked up to him, coming to stand right in front of him to block his view, “You’re blowing steam out of your ears, Shakespeare. Pipe down.”

His eyes didn’t move from where Ella stood, but his view was slightly blocked by Flo’s smirking face. His jaw tensed when he watched Alice playing with Ella’s hair as they talked, “Tell them to back off and I will.”

Flo rolled her eyes, turning around to watch the show the singer was fuming over, “Oh please. They’re doing all that just to rile Ella up, she’s been bright red since she learned Alice and George used to be fuck buddies back in the day.”

That got Alex to drop his gaze from them and direct it at Florence, “They did?” 

She hummed in confirmation, but she couldn’t let the opportunity pass to torment Alex some more, “And if I don’t recall incorrectly, I reckon that was Ella’s dream threesome.”

Alex rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatedly, “I hate you, Florence. I sincerely do.”

“No you fucking don’t,” Flo mocked him with laughter, “Stop staring at them like a twat, go get your girl.”

Alex frowned, looking at Florence and using a stern tone to say, “She’s quite distracted by them. Even with me next to her.”

“Well, we all are, mate,” Flo replied with a roll of her eyes, “Those two look hot as fuck together. They did back then, but they look even hotter now. And I heard all the stories back then. They are filthy and I think Ella can tell.” It would have been a shame if she didn’t bring up Ella’s adventures the last time she was in the UK, “After all, she’s got them both multiple times before.”

Alex closed his eyes, letting his head drop and sighed almost like in pain. When he looked up at his best friend again, she could see the desperation in his eyes, “Angel. You are not helping. At all.”

“Sorry. It’s just funny seeing you all riled up,” Flo couldn’t help but laugh at him for a bit. She found his determent hilarious when Ella was already his entirely and loudly for everyone to know. The artist shook her head at him, taking the bottle from his hands, essentially dismissing him early from the gathering and giving her the blessing to leave, “Go get her and show her a good time. Might be able to wipe both their names off her head if you just play your cards well enough.”

When Alex looked at the trio again, Alice was leaning in too close for his liking. He set off instantly, and Florence had managed to move out of his way fast enough so he didn’t barge into her. 

“Mind if I steal her for a second?” He attempted a smile at George and Alice as he interrupted them, but he only managed a crooked grin that didn’t seem genuine at all.

Ella looked up at him for a quick second, a soft smile on her face, entirely ignorant to the jealousy that coursed through him which was only fueling his need to take her back home and fuck her dumb until the only thing she could remember was his name.

Alice nodding and George saying, “All yours,” brought a bright smile to Alex’s face.

He interlocked his fingers with Ella’s and took her with him. He wasn’t walking fast at all, for his Irish goodbye to not be noticed, but he muttered under his breath at her, “We’re leaving.”

Her brows furrowed, but she didn’t stop walking next to him, “It has barely been four hours.”

He wouldn’t give her an answer, just repeated, “We’re leaving.”

But she noticed the way his jaw clenched, and realised the silent hostility in his eyes when he had approached Alice, George, and herself then, the pieces coming together to complete the puzzle. 

Instead of finding it annoying, she found it adorable, “Awh, are you jealous?”

He turned to her when they reached the flat’s door, his eyes hard and his words stern, “Keep running that pretty little mouth and you’ll find out.”

“Don’t tempt me with a good time,” she joked, and the smirk she gave him made him want to push her against the door and take her right there and then. 

He groaned, opening the door and grabbing her by the waist to lead her out first, “Smartarse.”

There was no way he could endure walking back home then, he needed to get home as soon as possible so they took the first cab they saw outside. Ella’s mind was reeling, she was intrigued by what had set him off, but also excited by what awaited her once they crossed the threshold of Alex’s flat.

Turns out, she was promised some teasing and far too many orgasms. Her clothes had been shed as soon as Alex closed the door behind him. In between sloppy kisses, his hands worked to get her out of everything that covered her. 

His mouth distracted her as he kissed down her neck, never once stopping his walking until her back bumped into the settee. Her mouth fell open when Alex bit her neck, the pain morphing into pleasure, eyes rolling back into her skull when his tongue swiped over the damage. 

His hands groped at her tits, kneading harshly, while his mouth looked for her lips again. He swallowed every moan as he pinched her nipples, her legs wrapping around his waist and trembling with the overflow of sensations. 

One of his hands wrapped around her neck, choking her in the way he knew she liked. His other hand traveled down her body, until he could swipe his fingers up her cunt. She was already drenched for him, he groaned into her mouth. 

Alex pulled back harshly, strings of spit connecting their lips. Ella looked for his mouth again but he grabbed her by the waist and turned her around. With one hand on her back, the other still holding her tight by her waist, he bent her over the settee and he fell to his knees for her.

He kissed up the backs of her thighs, gasps falling from Ella’s lips as he sucked bruises into her sensitive skin. Alex repeated his process on her other thigh, until he got to her ass and bit into the soft flesh there. 

“Fuck! Alex!” She had never been one for biting, but her knees kept buckling every time his teeth would sink into her, and now she was growing obsessed with the feeling.

He hummed at the sound of his name falling from her lips, but he needed more. He had to hear Ella screaming his name for everyone to hear. 

Alex guided her feet further apart, so he could spread her open and comfortably find his home between her legs. His tongue came over her clit, circling it and then sucking mercilessly. Ella gripped onto the cushions, moaning loudly when he shook his head and hummed, the vibrations driving her crazy. 

He lapped at her with hunger. Her sopping hole puckered with every tease of his tongue, but he wouldn’t pay it no attention, not even when Ella pleaded, “Baby, your fingers, please. I need you.” 

But Alex wouldn’t relent. Not when he wanted her at his mercy. 

He kept on sucking and lapping at her clit, flicking it with the tip of his tongue. Ella was a mess of cries and moans, her legs growing weaker by the second. Since she was bent over and her head was down, all the blood rushing through her head made every sensation increase tenfold, so it wasn’t a surprise that her orgasm was approaching her rapidly. 

Despite them being freshly together, Alex knew her cues like the back of his hand, so he could tell that she was about to cum. And when her thoughts started leaving her without restraint, begging for him not to stop, saying over and over how much she loved his tongue on her, Alex stopped.

Ella cried loudly, “No! Bab– What are you doing? I was so close!”

Alex stood up, pressing his hips flush against her bare cunt so that she could feel how hard he was in his jeans. She moaned at the feeling, trying to roll her hips against him to look for friction but he tutted, “Stop that or you won’t cum at all tonight.”

Another cry left her again, but he ignored it. Instead, he leaned over her, grabbing a fistful of her hair and pulling on it harshly so that he could whisper in her ear, “We’re going to our room and I’m gonna show you how to behave.”

A whimper fell from her lips, she was dizzy from her stolen orgasm, the pent up pleasure that was begging to be released, the pain from her hair being pulled like that, and just how turned on she was by him taking control. 

Once they got to the room, he hovered over her and rewarded her with some kisses. But she was being greedy, wanting to keep his mouth on hers when he had other plans. So Alex kept tutting at her, having to flip her over again and ordering her to stay right where she was as he took his shirt and jeans off. 

She looked over her shoulder, staying in place but hungrily watching Alex shedding off his clothes. Her mouth watered at the sight of his hard cock straining his black boxers, she almost wanted to ask if she could suck him off first, but before she could even open her mouth, he came over her using one of his legs to push hers apart and admire his effect on her.

“So needy,” he deemed her, pressing a kiss on her shoulder. “Asking for my fingers like that. Maybe if you behaved I could give you what you want.” His proposal was followed by his fingers dragging up and down her folds, gathering her slick and bringing his fingers up to her mouth.

“Are you gonna do what I tell you?” 

Ella’s voice was a squeak, “Yes. Yes, I will.” 

That satisfied him. Nodding, he brushed his fingers against her lips, “Suck.”

Her lips wrapped around his slick-covered fingers, and without breaking eye contact she took them in all the way down to the knuckle. Her tongue worked to lap at it all as her head bobbed slightly. Alex watched her with his jaw clenched, heavy breaths leaving through his nose; Ella could feel him heavy in his boxers and throbbing for her. 

She pulled back once she was done, offering him a sweet and innocent smile that drove him to push his hard on against her, “Good girl,” he praised before bringing his fingers back down and finally filling her up.

“Oh, Alexxx,” she cried into the pillow her head was resting on, fingers clutching onto the duvet, “That feels so fucking good.”

He hummed, watching his fingers glide in and out of her with ease. He started curling them, and she trembled when he hit that spot that drove her crazy over and over again. 

“Shit! Right there, baby!” Her hips started moving, though they were constricted with his weight over her. But she was trying, and when Alex added a third finger, all Ella could think about was chasing her orgasm. 

Her toes curled and her walls clenched around Alex’s fingers the more he increased his speed. The sound of his fingers invading her wet cunt drowned her ears, and her senses were on overdrive from the combination of it all. His heavy breaths hit her hack in tickles, goosebumps breaking all over her skin as she felt herself nearing over the edge.

“Alex, please,” she begged. “I’m so close, baby, please let me cummmm.”

The ache he was feeling from how hard he was clouded his thoughts, that and the sight of it all. So he gave into her wishes, just with one condition, “You can cum, but only if you cum on my cock right after this, darling.”

She nodded enthusiastically, “Yes! Yes! I’ll drench your cock, baby, just keep– Fuck! Don’t stop!” 

Just the thought of having her wrapped around him pushed him to get that orgasm out of her, so he sped up, and Ella went right over the edge with a guttural moan that ripped through her throat almost as intensely as her orgasm shook her. 

Alex fingered her through it, until she whimpered, “No more, please.”

But she had forgotten what she had agreed to, and before she knew it, Alex flipped her over again so she was on her front, getting off the bed to shed off his boxers quickly and laying over her once more. 

Ella’s jaw dropped when she felt him brushing the tip of his cock up and down her cunt. Her legs shook as she was overstimulated, and her brain melted in her skull when he lined up and pushed in slowly inside her. 

Her nails dug into his back, a loud moan out in the air harmonizing with Alex’s deep groan as her walls squeezed Alex tightly. He had no idea how he was meant to last if she was this tight. 

He dragged his hips back slowly, coming back in faster and harder, setting an agonizing pace that had Ella holding onto him for dear life and almost sure that she was gonna squirt all over him any second. She had no time to recover from her past orgasm, so she felt like she was going to explode at any second. Her skin felt on fire, every cell of her body vibrating so much she could just combust. 

And with Alex nipping and biting at her skin, the slow drag out and hard push into her, Ella only had so little left in her before she came again. 

Alex seemed to have been in the same boat, with him having been so hard while he teased her, and with how she was squeezing him, the drag of her nails on his skin, and the delicious sounds of her moans and whimpers, Alex picked up the pace and soon the bed was creaking with every thrust. 

“Alex! Alex! Fuckkkkk—,” she cried aloud, her core tightened and she felt like she was losing control over her body entirely.

Panting, Alex tried to keep up his pace the best he could, while approving her cries for him, “That’s it, darling. The only name I want falling from your lips.” One of his hands came down, pressing atop her mound, wanting nothing more than for her to drench him and the sheets. 

A loud gasp left her when the pressure of his hand appeared, her body no longer fighting her, and she squirted all over him with a yell, “Shit! Alexxxx!”

He looked down at the show, everything was wet and slick, and she was spasming around him with every thrust. He grunted as he felt himself about to fall over the edge, that was when she brought her hands to his hair and pulled on it harshly to bring his gaze up to her face and say, “Cum inside me, Alex, please.”

Her swollen lips were glistening with spit, her face shining with sweat, and her hair all disheveled. She was a fucking work of art, just a look at her in this state and those words falling from her lips sent him right over the edge. 

His hips stuttered, as he came hard and her walls milked every drop of his cum. He ended up slumping right over her, hiding his face in the crook of his neck while they both gathered their bearings. 

The feeling of their erratic hearts, the fall and rise of their chests, Ella drawing circles on his back, Alex leaving feather-like kisses on her neck, it all had their eyes fluttering close. That was until Alex lifted his head up and caught the sight of Ella’s new polaroid resting atop of the nightstand. 

He had hated how much the sight of George’s face had reminded him of those pictures he and Ella had taken back then. And he wanted to erase any trace of that memory from his own mind but also Ella’s.

He pulled out and stood up quickly, leaving Ella pouting in bed while she watched where he was going. 

When she watched him grab the camera, she frowned in confusion, “Sweetness, what are you doing?”

Alex turned the camera on and checked the amount of film it had left just like Ella had taught him, he smiled seeing that there were 7 frames left for him to use. She looked stunning there, all worn out and flushed. Alex brought the camera up to his eye, ready to press the shutter, but he had to ask first, “I want to take you like this with me on tour, can I?”

Heat rushed up to her face, cheeks tinting red, but she smiled entirely pleased by his words, “‘Course you can.”

He walked up to her, getting back on the bed and watching her adjust herself for him. She rested more upright on the pillows, brushing her unruly hair and biting her bottom lip for him. He brought the camera to his eye again, watching her through the lens and pressing the shutter. 

Without even waiting for the picture to reveal itself, he tossed it to the side and continued to take some more. She brought her hands up to her tits for the next one, pinching her nipples, face contorting in pleasure that he captured just in time. He was gonna have such a good time looking back at them while on tour, he had to lean in and kiss her before continuing. 

It was then that Ella got friskier, opening her legs up and having completely forgotten that he had just cum inside her, his cum dripping out of her glistening cunt. 

“Shit, we made a mess,” not only was the mix of them dripping onto the duvet, it was also drenched from her squirt. 

Her fingers came down to her dripping hole, and as she was gathering some of it on the tips of her fingers, Alex pressed the shutter. 

Ella smirked, looking up at him and tutting, “You’re filthy.” 

“Push it back inside you, darling. Let me take a picture of that.”

Since she had promised she would be good and listen to him, Ella did just that. 

“Fucking hell,” Alex cursed under his breath, the shutter going off coming right after his gruff voice.

Ella got carried away fucking their cum inside her, legs trembling slightly as she was still so sensitive. Alex could only watch with his mouth open agape, throat going dry when she proceeded to pull her fingers out, and look at him directly in the eye before sucking them clean. 

He was so entranced by the view, that he forgot to take the picture, so she joked, “Want me to do that again so you can take the picture or would you rather just keep it in your memory?”

Alex snapped out of his thoughts, swallowing loudly before nodding, “Please indulge me, darling.”

So she went back in, whimpering softly as she pushed two fingers back inside her and fucking herself for a few seconds. She drew her fingers back and brought them up to her mouth, wrapping her lips around them and sucking eagerly. 

The shutter went off again, Alex felt himself twitching at the moans she let out at the taste. It made him crave it so he gently rested the camera next to him, so he could take some more pictures in case he managed to multitask, and hovered over her again. 

Slowly, he leant in until his lips brushed hers, “Let me taste us.”

Ella stuck her tongue out for him, letting him lick at it but it wasn’t long before he sucked it. He groaned, pushing his hips forward, and pulled back for a deep breath before pouncing on her lips. 

She moaned at the force of the kiss, her pebbled nipples rubbing on his chest, making her shiver in pleasure. His hold on her waist was tight, and he kept it there while he made his way down her body, leaving hot and messy kisses in his wake. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Ella asked, her body unable to not shake with every brush of his lips closer and closer to her sensitive cunt.

He smiled up at her, mischievous and devilish, “Loving on you.” A soft kiss on her clit had her legs clamping close around his head. 

Alex laughed, using his hands to open her wide for him, pinning the thighs to the bed, but she trembled, as his breath fanned against her core, “Baby, I can’t.” 

“Yes you can.” It wasn’t an encouragement, but an affirmation. If she didn’t remember that she was at his mercy now, then his words would remind her, “You’ll take it.” 

She whimpered again when he flicked at her clit with his pointed tongue, pulling back to say, “I’m not moving. This is my favorite place.” He let his tongue run flat up her folds, drinking her in, “My favorite taste.” 

With a tight grip, he fought her instinct to close her legs again, “And I’m not moving until my jaw aches and locks, remember?” She remembered then, those promises through the phone that had pushed her towards the edge when she was lonely and craving his touch. 

He nosed at one of her thighs, bringing her back out from her head, “I want you to drench my face this time, so be a good girl and take it darling, yes?”

Ella could only nod, thinking that bearing the overstimulation would be far better than dealing with the need of him when he’s away from her. But what she didn’t account for was how eager he was to make her cum. 

By the first orgasm, she felt entirely spent. Her body was shaking, and she had no idea how he had the strength to hold her legs open like he was because she had lost absolutely all control over her body.

Alex used his fingers and mouth next, not letting her ride her previous orgasm and just building up from it. Ella was being incredibly loud then, louder than she had ever been, but she wasn’t in her right mind to even be embarrassed by it. 

He fucking adored how vocal she was being though, and he only grew more and more eager to get more and more out of her. With his fingers curling the right way, hitting that spongy spot inside her that had her seeing stars, Ella came once more. He pulled his fingers back, rubbing at her clit with quick circles that elicited the loudest calls of his name, ending with Ella drenching his face just like he had asked for. 

His plan was to keep going but Ella had tears streaming down her face, exhaustion weighing her down, and overstimulation making her mind go haywire. 

The ghostly touch of his tongue on her clit again made her loudly sob, her hands came down to his hair, clutching it and pulling him off her, and her broken voice managing a pathetic, “Can’t– Love, I can’t.” A sob racked through her, “No more, please.”

Alex’s mood entirely shifted, cooing at her as he crawled back up to lay next to her. He brushed her hair back and wiped the tears from her cheeks, “It’s okay, darling. I’ve got you, yeah?”

She nodded, tears still spilling for her eyes, chin wobbling as she tried to gather herself again. 

“Let’s clean up, yeah?”

The aftercare was lovely, with Alex running a warm bath for her that he joined once he was done changing the sheets and putting the old ones to wash. He washed her hair and massaged her scalp, then carefully soaping her skin and rinsing her off the suds. Ella was limp against him, and Alex could see that sleep was grasping her tighter in its clutches, but before she could fully surrender to it, he helped her out of the tub and dry herself up.

He brushed her hair and dried both his and her hair quickly before carrying her back to bed. There was no point in putting their pyjamas on, they could cuddle under the sheets and be just as cosy so that’s what he did. 

Ella woke up a little when they got under the covers, turning to look at Alex and run her fingers over his face. But what they hadn’t noticed with them being hidden away in his ensuite, was that the next door neighbor would be a little busy that night too.

Living next to her for far too long, Alex immediately recognized Alice’s moans. And Ella did too, after having elicited so many out of her with her tongue and fingers. 

Alex turned to Ella with wide eyes, clearly hearing a male’s voice with Alice, “Oh wow.”

Ella shushed him, trying to figure out who it was. The noises were slightly muffled, but when they got louder, you could hear them clearly, and that’s when Ella realized it was Alice and George on the other side of the wall. 

She couldn’t help but tease her boyfriend first though, “Bet you had the best jerk off session when Alice and I shagged. You’ve got some nice acoustics through the wall.”

Alex rolled his eyes, “Shut up,” pinching her waist and making her jump.

She giggled, “You’re not denying it though.”

The singer opted for staying silent and cuddling closer to her, he closed his eyes to try and fall asleep but it seemed like the night was still very young for the people on the flat nextdoor. 

About ten more minutes passed, of them moaning at the same rate, no signs of any of them having cum yet and that had Ella gasping again, “Fucking hell, they’ve got stamina.”

That got a snort out of Alex, who opened his eyes to tell her, “Stop snooping and go to sleep.”

He watched as she indulged in his wishes, and so he followed. Alex was doing a great job of ignoring the noises for a while, but there was a particular moment when George groaned incredibly loud at the same time as Alice moaned in a high pitch that could not be ignored. 

What Alex hadn’t been expecting was to feel Ella clenching her thighs which were wrapped around one of his legs. He opened his eyes just to find her wide awake and with her face all flushed, “You’re insatiable.”

“You are hearing the same as I am, tell me they don’t sound hot as fuck,” Ella defended herself quickly, but then she realized what she had said and scowled. She didn’t want to know if he found Alice’s moans hot when he had shagged her, “Actually, don’t answer.”

Alex scoffed at her words, “You’ve shagged both of them. If someone should be jealous, it’s me.” The worst part was that he could feel her against him, fighting the urge to roll her hips to rub her clit on his thigh, “You’re over here getting all wet over hearing them through the wall.”

She pouted, “Well then, maybe we should just go knock on the door.”

Decisively, Alex replied with a roll of his eyes, “We are not being part of a foursome.”

“But–,” she tried to reason but he didn’t let her.

“Eleanor Hayes,” he started and finished. She knew he meant that was it when he properly used her legal name. She felt scolded.

Against all odds, they heard the moans pick up again, making Ella let out a little cry of frustration. Ella was half joking by then, enjoying seeing Alex so aggravated by Alice and George’s history with her. But she wouldn’t change having Alex for the world, her heart did backflips in her chest every time she woke up next to him, whenever she felt his hold on her, every time she heard him call her darling; just existing with him made her heart leap in her chest. 

And she was glad that her boyfriend shared the sentiment, “You are all mine now. Don’t expect me to want to share you with anyone else.” Alex’s eyes darkened as he reminded her, but it was Ella who attacked his lips with a hungry kiss. 

She was exhausted, but she felt the need for him brewing in her lower belly. She sighed when she pulled back, deciding to satiate that hunger in the morning. 

But she was annoyed that Alex was listening to sounds that could make him reminisce, “We’re switching your bed to the other side of the room tomorrow.” She scoffed at the stupidity of her boyfriend, all this time complaining about hearing Alice through the wall when that could be easily solved, “Can’t believe you’ve never thought of doing that, you idiot.” 

When Alice moaned particularly loudly, and she felt Alex tense under her, Ella decided, “And I’m buying you earplugs.”

Alex grabbed a handful of Ella’s ass smirking against her mouth and letting her know, “I love it when you’re jealous,” before stealing another lustful kiss from her lips.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Time was truly cruel. Careless with how the distance would spread the heartache all the way to the ends of their limbs like venom coursing through their veins. It was in a blink of an eye that they had ended up with just a singular full day together, the hours they had on their side had all slipped like water through their fingers.

After having such an eventful Monday, they had decided to spend the day at Alex’s apartment in London. Cuddling all day and ordering takeout was the best plan they had, relishing in the quiet and the comfort of each other’s hold. 

They wouldn’t even regret having spent the day like that, because it had been a day of just existing with the other. Laughing, eating, sleeping, fucking, hugging, talking about everything and anything, tenderly loving each other in the little things. 

Wednesday was a different story. Alex had woken up a little earlier than the day before and kissed her before leaving bed. In her hazy mind, still riddled with sleep, Ella had managed to make out Alex speaking with someone on the phone. 

She had thought she was dreaming for a second, until he walked back into the room and came to lie on top of her. She hummed in satisfaction at the feeling of his weight resting over her, something she just loved to be submitted to now. 

But before she could think much about what he would do next, he nosed at the skin of her neck and spoke in that deliciously deep morning voice of his, “Darling, they want us to go on a meeting at Domino later today.”

Her brows furrowed, eyes still closed but confusion took over her entire expression. She groaned, before questioning, “Domino? Your record label?”

Alex almost cooed at her groggy voice, smiling like a fool when she brought her hands to her face to childishly rub her eyes as she yawned. He dropped a kiss on her chest, feeling the soft beating of her heart beneath his lips. 

“Yes, baby. They want to chat with you, actually.”

If Ella had been more awake, she would have noticed that Alex wore a knowing look on his face. And if she had pushed hard enough, she would have found out what that was all about before even having to go to Domino headquarters all the way in Wandsworth.

On the way there, she was racking her brain trying to figure out why on earth her boyfriend’s label would even want to chat with her about. Was it the documentary? It couldn’t be, because that one had already been handed over to them, all set for release.

Alex squeezing her hand kept trying to get her out her head, but it was pointless. She’d had breakfast quietly next to him before getting ready, which she also did quietly. 

She was so lost in her head that she hadn't even thought of asking her boyfriend if he knew anything. Alex was silently grateful for that—he just knew that he would have ruined the surprise if she were to question him about it.

And he truly would have regretted it, because the shock on Ella’s face was priceless after she and Ben—who was on the big screen of a conference room through Skype—were proposed to go on the South American tour with the Monkeys.

“South America?! Us?!”

Alex had chuckled at the sheer disbelief on Ella’s face and voice, as if she didn’t understand how well they had done with the AM documentary to the point that Domino wanted more content, this time while on the road.

The singer saw Ella pinching herself before grabbing the pen someone was holding out for her. He rubbed right over the red spot she had left behind as the ink sealed the deal between Ben, Ella, and Domino.

“We shall see how this one goes,” they had told her and Ben. “If we manage valuable content to elongate AM’s release and marketing campaign, we shall be looking at a longer contract with you two in the near future. Perhaps for the next projects we have with the Monkeys.”

A jaw dropped Ella had turned to Alex at the sound of all that, utterly shocked at what was happening.

Once Ben had faxed his own signed contract, hands had been shook and promises of further information had been made. Ella was still buzzing with adrenaline as she and Alex walked out into the London streets hand in hand.

“You know what this means right?” Ella mysteriously started saying as they walked.

“Mile high club,” Alex replied quickly, making his girlfriend erupt in a loud string of cackles.

She shook her head no, trying to breathe a little before saying, “Won’t be getting rid of me now, sweetness,” with the biggest smile on her face. 

God did Alex love the sound of that. Her smile was contagious, spreading onto his face, but his toothy grin only got bigger when she added, “Though I wouldn’t be opposed to your idea at all.”

Surreal. That was how they would describe this domino effect that was turning their lives around in the best way. It meant that on that Wednesday, they wouldn’t only be celebrating the fact that they had already been dating for two months, but this new opportunity for her that kept her close to him.

After Ella left England, the Monkeys only had one more week of tour before a glorious almost two month break, one that Alex and Ella were incredibly excited about. They had so much time in their hands then, promised solely for them to enjoy each other. 

And after that break, the band would only be on tour by themselves for another week before Ella was now due to join them for their South American leg of tour.

A bottle of champagne was popped open during dinner in celebration, Ella squealing as she watched the bubbles overflowing from the bottle; an erupting mess atop of a table on a fancy restaurant Alex had taken her to. Alex had acquired a new background picture for his phone as he captured her smile in a picture before leaving the place.

Ella looked so beautiful under the moonlight, red lipstick on, her hair cascading down her back in soft waves that he had watched her carefully do. He had taken his sweet time loving her that night, hands carefully roaming her body to learn every crease and curve, as if he needed to draw her blindfolded anytime soon. He made sure to memorise every change in her expression as he did everything he knew to help her come undone, every noise she made replaying on a beautifully maddening loop in his head.

Melancholy had creeped in the next morning, when they saw the clock and realized they only had a few hours before leaving for the airport. Los Angeles called Ella’s name louder and louder, across oceans, while she tried to steal some more time with Alex. 

It was not much, but it would have to be enough. Enough for the next week before they could have each other back, their sweet traditions, and rid themselves of the burden distance was. 

They packed their last things at the same time, since Alex and the band’s flight was leaving about an hour or two after Ella’s. It was Alex’s turn now to watch her go; he would be a massive liar if he said his heart didn’t break as he watched her scan her ticket and start walking toward the bridge. 

His slipper-clad feet took a step, in his head a debate whether he should just dash it and make it behind the desk to give her one last kiss. But she stopped at the threshold of the bridge, a smile on her face riddled with sorrow, teary eyes, wobbly chin as she waved back.

He knew he would cause a ruckus if he were to do what was going through his head, so he did the next best thing. Blew her a kiss that was already hanging off his lips, her name written all over it. 

She made a show of catching it, a giggle escaping her as she smashed it on her lips. His chest rumbled with joy, a chuckle coming from him when feeling so oddly complete even when saying goodbye. 

Finally, she turned around and disappeared behind the open door to the bridge. And he hadn’t noticed he had been holding back tears until he tasted the salty trail reach the corner of his mouth. 

Love consumed him entirely, a rabble of butterflies swarming his stomach and tickling his insides to the point of silent giggles. He had lost it entirely, all the logic and sense left in him, but how could he not? And how could he not enjoy it? 

Everyone could see it, and he wore it loud and proud. Alex was an utter and complete fool for her. A mad man entirely drunk in love.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: Once again, I wanted to thank you all for still reading. I'm eager to hear your thoughts. I missed you all loads and I hope you know that. After this one, we just have one more chapter and the epilogue left, and then we will have to say goodbye to Ella and Alex. I'm a bit depressed about it but I will definitely be putting out some extras eventually. You know, the typical cheesy stuff like them getting engaged, married, starting a family, all the good stuff. But let me not get ahead of myself, and let's enjoy the end of this ride. Take care you lot, I shall see you soon!

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette @chickenxdrum

[nriacc]

Alexa Chung and Matty Healy ✌🏻 (literally me)

[nriacc]

Wheels is real! Thank you so so much @kennedy-brooke 💜💜💜💜💜

This morning I got the chance to open my Christmas prezzie from the lovely @kennedy-brooke and my god she got me the best thing ever! She gifted me the entirety of NRIACC (all 34 chapters and 753,404 words) in 3 gorgeously made books and my heart has never been so full. And I couldn’t keep how amazing they were to myself I had to show the lil NRIACC fam on here! Wheels is finally real guys!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart Ken, this is so magical to have my baby @nriacc in my hands, I’m still in shock and can’t stop looking at them. I’m beyond words, they are perfect. From the cherry blossoms covering it, to the box on the cover, you thought of every little thing to bring Wheels to life and I’ll never be more touched that you had this done for me.

Thank you for being such a wonderful friend, I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you! I’m beyond grateful to have you in my life and how magical that you’ve gifted me the story that brought us together 🥹 thank you and love you so so much💜

(Ft the blanket that @alovesreading got me for my birthday. Love you too 💜)

Ps. I promise I’ll eventually write the George ending for you x

[nriacc]

sooo nriacc coded but gab = wheels 💚

https://x.com/hazyheadbigcity/status/1816425435669917903?s=46

She was certainly manifesting Wheels that day. Absolutely beautiful news to wake up to it was 💚💜

[nriacc]

Wheels is real

to the previous anon—

the vibes are giving @imagine-that-100 fanfic👀

-chai anon

if only alex were there too but he’s gone into hiding as is expected between albums

also how are you darling?

[nriacc]

Matty and Wheels coded 🤍

[nriacc]

Personally, I think the real chairman of the tortured poets department is Wheels. That queens been through more shit than anyone. The full poetry book to prove it.

[nriacc]

The Alchemy is bare NRIACC coded im sobbing

[nriacc]

https://youtu.be/83Clir5lkGY?si=BDJ1_FH66hs8V711

this youtube video is so nriacc coded like a wheels x matty collab discussing paintings ☺️

Omg yeah! You just know that Matty sat wheels down like “Please help me with this!” And they do so much research on it and she helps him so much and when she gets all passionate about it he just looks at her and he’s all like “I’m so in love with you” or (alternate Alex ending) “I’m still so in awe of your love for art”

God I love them

[nriacc]

https://x.com/emmalostherhead/status/1761079120631411143?s=46

every app i open i see things that reminds me of nriacc, your fic is that bitch 🙏🏼💙

https://x.com/emmalostherhead/status/1761079120631411143?s=46

Oh my lord it’s actually real. Wheels 4 life 🥹🥹🥹🛹

https://x.com/emmalostherhead/status/1761079120631411143?s=46

[nriacc]

happy birthday george ily

team george 4 life

[nriacc]

I 1000% encourage this! Hope you had the best best best time!!!! x

just came back from my second the 1975 concert in one week (and my sixth time seeing them in general) and I now have the urge to re-read all of @nriacc by @imagine-that-100

[nriacc]

Sames 🫡

Not to shock or alarm anyone but tonight’s gig has made me start a thing…

Please don’t ask when it’ll be out because there’s so much that I need to do😭 also sorry this is not the George ending that’s called Baby.

[nriacc]

Not to shock or alarm anyone but tonight’s gig has made me start a thing…

Please don’t ask when it’ll be out because there’s so much that I need to do😭 also sorry this is not the George ending that’s called Baby.

[nriacc]

Something for the NRIACC besties in here xoxoxoxoox

Will We Talk? | Part 4 |

Description of Part 1: Alex Turner x Reader | Being Katie Cook’s best friend means you see a lot of a certain band, so it’s too bad that the lead singer can’t seem to stand being in your presence. You’re all too aware that you get chatty when you’re anxious, and despite being around each other for a decade, Alex still makes your heart race (and not in a good way). But then he asks a question you never expected to hear, and it changes everything: “Do I make you nervous?”

Word Count: 18.2k

A/N: It's finally here oh my lord. Once again so sorry my writing takes so long these days but I'm so excited about this chapter. Thank you for the suggestions I got after I dropped the teaser, really appreciate all the help and it got my mind back into writing mode again. After this there's only one part left, but its going to be fun so don't fret. Really hope you enjoy this part, please let me know what you think. Thank you so so much for reading. Enjoy x

| My Masterlist | 

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

The run up to Christmas was fun. Fucking Alex every other day of the week had been a surprisingly needed stress relief that a month ago you would have never foreseen. Usually the run up to Christmas had you stressed for no reason in particular but this year with your stresses finally being relieved every other night it was so much better than other Christmas breaks you’ve had in a long time. 

Alex had certainly been making the most of your arrangement. It was him texting or calling you asking, “Are you free tonight?” Which may as well be directly translated to ‘Do you want to fuck me tonight?’. Every single time you said yes, not depriving yourself of such simple pleasures and it led to you having a very relaxed holiday season. 

And now Christmas is over and done with, you were excited for tonight’s New Year’s party. So much so that you couldn’t sit at home and just wait to get ready, you ended up texting Katie and asking her if you could help her set up and thankfully she said yes. 

For the past hour you’ve been listening to music and hearing the Cook's Christmas stories of Forest getting all excited when he opened each present. She showed you a couple of videos before Jamie took the little man out for the afternoon while you both got the house ready for tonight. 

Your catch ups are the best and you adore your best friend so much. The gossiping and the giggling never ceases and you’re forever finding new things to talk about, it’s a miracle you’ve not discovered everything there is to know about each other after a decade of being best friends. 

But it turns out there are some things you are yet to discover. Like a certain holiday that was being planned. 

“You’re coming on the impromptu trip away with us, right?” Katie asks, a little out of the blue as if she’s just remembering as she unpeels the Happy New Year banners from each other and handing one to you. 

“Depends, when?” You tell her, knowing the dates of this trip will be the deal breaker if you can go, “I’m back in work on the ninth, remember?”

You’ve joined the Cooks on impromptu trips away before, both with their family and their friends. You’re always invited, which you find thoughtful of Katie and knowing that these trips tend to be very random, you’d started saving money for such events so you didn’t find yourself missing out. The only time you denied yourself was when the trips clashed with work which you hope isn’t the case this time. 

“Oh, we come back on the seventh.” Katie grins, very pleased with what you’ve just said, “You’re coming.” 

“Yeah,” You find yourself giggling at her, knowing she probably wouldn’t take no for an answer anyway. You continue putting up the party decorations as you tell her, “Just let me know how much it is and I’ll scramble it together.”

“Oh no, Alex is paying for us all,” She tells you, as she seems to be having a hard time stretching the balloons out to start blowing them up, “You just need spending money.” 

You immediately frown hearing that, bluetacking the banner on the wall and turning towards your best friend to ask, “What?”

“Alex is paying.” She tells you, “It’s for his birthday. Has he not told you about it yet?”

“No, he’s not mentioned it.” You tell her. 

You figure it’s best to neglect mentioning how the singer only talks to ask how you are before he ends up saying the filthiest things into your ear as he fucks you senseless. Holidays and other things normal friends would talk about are not on the cards. 

He comes over. You fuck. He leaves. Interaction complete. 

“Oh well, he probably expected me to ask you.” Katie shrugs, not thinking much of it, “But yeah don’t worry about the money, he’s paying.”

You’ll see about that, you think as you continue helping your best friend decorate, putting the singer out of your head for the time being. 

~*~*~*~

I need to speak to you 

You text the singer as you’re walking home from Katie’s. You thought about just leaving it but you know if you keep what you're feeling bottled in it will just make you go back into your shell when you’re around him, and that’s the last thing either of you want. 

Thankfully those thoughts don’t have enough time to fester because about 2 minutes later Alex texts you back. 

Christ

Am I in trouble? x

His response makes you roll your eyes as you can practically hear him asking you. You know for a fact he will have snorted when he got the message through and when he typed that one back to you. So you keep him in limbo for a bit. 

You’re not funny 

Phone me when you’re free. 

Thankfully you’re not waiting for ages for the call. Your phone starts ringing as you turn the corner and head down your road. It’s a little embarrassing how excited you are to get back in your house for a bit and just relax until the party later. 

After greeting him, Alex gets straight to the point, “What’s up Y/N?”

“About this holiday,” You start, “Katie told me she wants me to come and I want to know how you feel about that before I start to spiral.”

You can already sense the panic in your chest as you feel like you’re at a bit of a stalemate. You don’t want to let Katie down but you’re also definitely not going to go if Alex wants a break from you. You don’t want to intrude on his holiday. Especially one that’s for his birthday. 

“Don’t spiral.” Alex begs, and you swear he’s also outside as you can almost hear the way he takes a drag of a cigarette before he says, “The last thing we need is you spiralling and questioning everything again.”

You can picture the smile tugging at his lips as he says that. So much so that him finding your panic amusing means that you silently want to scorn him. 

“I’m well aware of that.” You say a little bit too bluntly, so you attempt to soften the blow when you follow up with a rhetorical, “Why do you think I asked you to call me?”

Alex definitely mutes a laugh, covering it by him pretending to clear his throat. To make sure he doesn’t get himself into trouble he distracts you by asking, “What’s panicking you now?”

“The holiday.” You take a deep breath before you start to vent your worries, “Apparently it’s for your birthday, I don’t know if you want me there with what’s going on with us. The fact that you’re apparently paying... I don’t want you paying for me if I come.”

“I did tell Katie to invite you if she wanted to.” Alex reveals. 

“That’s not the point. Do you want me there?” You ask him directly, “I don’t want to intrude on a holiday that’s for your birthday.”

Alex takes a second to answer that, not because it’s a difficult answer but mostly because he wants to know, “If we weren’t sleeping together would you come?”

You think about it for a second and realise that you probably would, but not without speaking to him and asking Katie at least 30 times if you were actually welcome. Not to mention trying not to interact with him much when you were out there. And you certainly would not be allowing him to pay for you. 

“I still would have double checked with you first, or got Katie to. But that doesn’t matter, it’s different now,” You start talking about your reality again, “The dynamic has changed.”

“Y/N, we were friends anyway,” Alex sighs and you’re glad he can’t see the way your face contorted in disagreement. “The only thing that’s different this time is that we’ve seen each other naked.” 

You almost scoff. 

You’ve done a lot more than see me naked, sir. 

Feeling flustered at the memories of him fucking you flooding back to your mind, you just get back to the point, “So, do you want me there or not?”

And you listen to his response as you unlock your front door and get into your house. Feeling the absence of the chill from outside makes the singers answer all the more bearable. 

“I just want you to do whatever you want to. You can come and have a holiday. I don’t expect anything from you if that’s what you’re worried about.” Alex says sincerely, before adding, “And I am paying.”

“I don’t want you to pay Alex,” You whine like a child not getting their own way. But you add honestly, “It makes me uncomfortable.”

And it’s not even just because you’re fucking him, although that is your main concern. It’s the fact that you’ve barely known him properly before now (and you still wouldn’t say you were all that close in any way but physically), you can’t in your right mind let him spend thousands on a skiing holiday for you.  

“Y/N, I didn’t invite you to make you feel uncomfortable.” The singer sighs, feeling like you should know this already. 

He’s not ever excluded you from something before and he’s certainly not about to start doing so now. And he’s not letting you pay for yourself when everyone else who is coming is paid for already. Christ, he doesn’t really know why this is even a conversation when everything has already been sorted and paid for in advance. 

You feel like you’re whining when you again admit, “I know that’s not the intention but I still feel it Alex.”  

“Well, it’s up to you.” Alex shrugs, hoping to convey how much he’s unbothered by the fact he’s paying for a holiday, but he doesn’t want to pressure you. “You’re very welcome to come and I’m paying for everyone, not just you.”

“But-“ You start but then stop yourself. 

Alex immediately questions, “But what?”

He would rather know what’s going on in your head rather than be left guessing. He needs to know how best to reassure you otherwise you both will just regress. And he doesn’t think that wanting for your honesty is too much to ask.

You can’t bring yourself to say it. So you just leave him with silence. 

But that silence speaks volumes. 

“You worried that if I pay for you to come I’m expecting you to shag me?” A few beats of silence pass and as you don’t dismiss him entirely, he already knows it to be true. His question is entirely rhetorical, “That’s it, isn’t it?”

You can’t even confirm it for him. It’s embarrassing to admit, but that is a worry of yours. 

“Y/N.” Alex sighs, knowing he’s right because of your silence. “I don’t expect anything from you, you know that right? You can come away with us and we don’t have to do anything.”

“It’s not compulsory, even when we’re home. Y/N/N, you’re Katie’s best friend, you’ve been around for ten years.” He backs up his point some more, “You came on the last holiday we went on, this is going to be no different to that. My birthday just happens to fall on a day whilst we’re there.” 

“You didn’t pay for me last time Al.” You argue in a slight huff, already feeling like you’re fighting a losing battle. 

“Hey, listen to me.” Alex persists, “I’m paying for everyone to come, not just you, and I’m not expecting a huge orgy all week.” 

You can help the laugh that escapes your lips at that. It’s a full giggle that the singer can’t help but grin at as he takes another drag of his cigarette. 

“There’s that laugh.” He hums, enjoying the sound even more purely because it’s him that’s caused it. 

Only after your laughter subsides, do you ask, a lot calmer now, “Are you sure you want me there?” 

“Yes, sweet.” Alex assures you. And just to convince you some more, he adds, “I need someone to entertain Mrs Cook when I pull Jamie away for a pint anyway. Think you fit the brief.” 

“Ah yeah, I think I could do that for you.” You chuckle a little, but then you’re serious in a soft tone, “I still feel bad that you’re paying though Alex. Skiing holidays are a lot of money.”

“I have a lot of money that I’ll never need.” The singer tells you, and you try not to think about the way anxiety in your chest dissipates when he says, “I’d rather treat my friends to a week away.”

You're his friend. Something so simple shouldn’t make your heart swell. Especially when the other night he tongue fucked you until you came, twice. 

“Well I’m buying you food and drinks whilst we’re away then.” You counter, finally readying yourself to admit defeat. 

“We’re going all inclusive but thanks.” You can almost hear Alex’s smirk. 

You sigh, dropping down onto your settee and leaning back to try and get comfy, “Well I’m assuming we won’t be staying in the hotel for your birthday. They’ll be pubs and cafes I’m sure.” 

He counters, “I’ll take a drink at the airport before we go.” 

“Okay deal.” You accept but know you’ll find ways to do more than just that, “Thank you Alex. You really don’t have to do this.”

“Well I want to.” Alex smiles, and his tone is full of amusement as he says, “And I can’t have you spiralling.”

You hum in a silent laugh at that and let your eyes close as you take a deep breath. You’re about to tell him that it’s just how you are but you’re okay now you’ve spoken about it. But he takes your attention again. 

“You know that this goes both ways right, Y/N/N?” You’re about to ask him what he’s on about until he continues, “If I text you asking to come over, you can say no and I’m not going to be offended by it. I understand that it’s not going to happen every time.” 

He’s talking about fucking you. And trying to make you feel more at ease about your situationship. 

Alex finishes off by saying, “I just ask on the off chance that you’re up for it.”

“I am always up for it.” Are the words that slip from your lips, and when you realise what you’ve said, your eyes shoot open. 

Oh my god woman, you sound so needy. Backtrack now. Now!

You sit up as you begin to pathetically backtrack, “Well. I mean, I- when you say you are, I, I- usually am too.”

“Good to know you’re always up for me, sweet,” You can hear Alex's smirk then, but thankfully he doesn’t tease you more for it he just carries on to say, “It seems like I’m texting you all the time asking to come over but you can text me. You’re allowed to get horny too.” 

You try and fail not to flush at hearing him say that. Especially when you can feel the ghost of his touch as you’re sitting on the settee he had you ride him on a week ago. 

“Alex, you’re over twice a week, if not more... It’s not like I’m without relief for long.” To drive the point home you say, “It’s not a ten month wait again.”

In your little meetings you’d discussed when you’d both last been with someone else. Yours was a guy you were seeing at the beginning of the year who turned out to just not do it for you after you dated him for a few months. 

Alex’s last fling was another rebound of his after the French girl he cheated on Taylor with. Turns out Alex hadn’t been with anyone in the last 5 months which did surprise you a little. But who are you to presume he’d just become a slag after his break up? 

“Still. We started this for a reason.” Alex drives the point home, wanting you to fully understand, “You can say no and you can call me whenever you want too.” 

You nod even though he can’t see you, “I know.”

“Maybe this holiday can just be the friends you’re so persistent we’re not.” 

You frown, confused, “What?”

“Your rule, ‘no sex while we’re away’.” Alex smirks, but he’s sincere when he says, “To make you feel more comfortable. 

“I don’t wanna seem like a prude Alex I just don’t…” You fail to continue your sentence, Wanna seem like a prostitute. 

“I think of all people, I’m not the one who’s going to think of you as a prude, sweet.” The singer can't help but tease, finding himself funny. 

You take a deep breath, trying not to let your amusement or embarrassment show, “So where are we going?”

“The Alps.” The singer tells you almost smugly, “Where else?”

You decide that you may as well ask him for the details if he’s sorting everything out, “When do we go?”

“Early morning of the second, we need to be at the airport for like four.” He tells you after a moment of thought. 

You hum, finally letting the excitement for a holiday bubble in your stomach, “Okay.”

Alex is smiling already hearing you finally sound at ease about the holiday, but he can’t help but push his luck a little more, “You free tonight, sweet?”

“No and neither are you,” You almost laugh, the amusement clear in your voice, “We’ve got Katie’s New Year’s party.”

Alex is grinning as he comes back with, “I mean at like three in the morning.”

“You’re a horny fuck.” You can’t help but tell him as you shake your head. 

You’re entirely unable to stop your face from flushing, making you very grateful he can’t see you. All you hope is he’s picturing you with a completely unbothered yet 

“You’re the one that just said you’re always up for me.” Alex counters and you have to bite your tongue. 

Idiot Y/N. 

“See you later Alex.” You immediately dismiss him, not wanting his teasing right now. 

Alex laughs loudly, “See you later sweet.”

~*~*~*~ January 2nd 2019 ~*~*~*~

The Alps are absolutely mesmerising and you could stare at the snow covered mountains for days. The trip was certainly worth every single ounce of effort and you know you’ll be eternally grateful to Alex for him bringing you all here. 

You’re sure when you first got here you looked like a child in a toyshop. The views are absolutely stunning and you know for a fact that your jaw was agape as you took in the breathtaking scenery around you. 

So much so that Alex turned you towards him at one point and pushed your jaw back up and quietly teased, “Don’t let anyone else see those pretty lips parted like that, don’t want people getting ideas.”

Needless to say, you flushed hearing that and Alex wasn’t subtle about the way he let his smirk take over his face. And then he left you hanging, sauntering off to join Miles, Nick, and Jamie walking just in front of you, leaving you to catch up with Katie, Kristen, and Flo who all joined you for the holiday. 

Alex leaving you like this hadn’t been the only time since you’d woken up early today though. He’d been a tease since he picked you up to take you to the airport, asking if you’d recovered from the previous nights activities where he all but folded you into a pretzel and fucked you until you came on his cock. 

That wasn’t the beginning or end of your antics after the party, he’d teased you at Katie’s party, getting you in the mood and ready for him when he pulled you to a quieter bit of the party and pushed you against the wall to kiss you, taking away any sense but him. And he did it every time to leave you wanting more only for him to pull away and leave you to your own devices for a while. 

So you were desperate when it got to 3am and he was practically pulling you down the road so you could get back to your house. And he certainly did show you a good time until you practically passed out from the exhaustion. 

You woke up late the next morning to a glass of water and some painkillers on your bedside table along with a note that read, Hope you’re not too sore sweet x

It wasn’t hard to guess he probably felt a hint of guilt how far you’d both gone the night before. In the heat of the moment he said somethings about him wanting you to remember him, the feel of him inside you, over the week that you were both away. 

He kept making you regret the no sex on holiday rule. Alex kept saying how you'd be begging him to take you when you got back home, how you’d not be able to walk properly by the time he’d finished with you after a week of not touching him the way he knows your filthy mind craves him.

You're ashamed to admit that your thoughts about him are sometimes so dirty they belong down the gutter. He’d certainly made a good job of having you long for him. 

You try not to admit to yourself that you crave him. That when he decided that he was the one that was going to be sitting next to you on the plane and not Flo, you were happy. Not because you had any issue with Flo, no she was such an amazing friend to you, but because it was Alex. And he wanted to sit beside you. 

The little shit that he was though teased you the whole journey. You were still tired so when you sighed and closed your eyes once you’d relaxed after the take off, Alex whispered into your ear, “Did I work you too hard sweet?”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” You say as you feel yourself flush knowing he was to do with your fatigue. 

You slept in a little on New Year’s Day after you’d taken the painkillers he’d left out for you, but then your day was spent packing for this trip, figuring out what you’d need and calling Katie to double checking on if you’d need going out clothes and doing a checklist of the skiing things you actually own. 

By the time you went to bed it was 11pm and that was far later than you should have been going to sleep because you had to be up at 3am to get ready. So it was do to Alex fucking you hard and long enough on New Years and the fact you had so little sleep last night that you were tired on the plane. 

Next, he’s disturbing your attempt at sleep by him putting his hand on your thigh and leisurely trailing his hand up and down, mixed with him occasionally squeezing. He keeps an eye on your reaction to him, you going stiff for a few seconds and him taking great pleasure in saying, “I’ve done worse than putting my hand on your thigh, sweet.”

“Not in public or daylight.” You huff and try to get yourself comfy enough to get sleepy. 

Looking out of the window just has you mesmerised so after a few minutes you just end up looking around the plane. It's just you and Alex sitting beside each other and for some reason you’re not all that close to your friends. 

Katie, Kirsten, and Flo are all on one row, about 4 seats ahead of you, and Miles, Jamie, and Nick are on the row behind them. You’ve got no idea why you’re so far away from them with the gap of strangers in front of you, but you guess things could be worse. You could be sitting alone or worse, you could be at home feeling like you’re missing out. 

There’s a stranger beside Alex so you’re glad you took the window seat and the views of sun rising through the clouds were amazing. You genuinely wish you weren’t as tired as you were so you could appreciate them fully. 

Instead you’re feeling uncomfortable and whichever way you lean your head isn’t helping you relax. If it's against the wall of the plane you can feel the vibrations, just leaning back does nothing to help and if you do fall asleep like that you’re not risking possibly snoring because your jaw is hanging open, and if you let your head fall forward that’s not good for your posture, not to mention painful. 

Maybe it’s you wriggling in your seat that gives you away, considering his hand is still on your thigh, but Alex seems to pick up on your discomfort easily. 

“You can lean on me to go to sleep, you know?” Alex tells you with a smile, nodding down to his shoulder just beside you. 

“What,” You hold back your sigh but let him know that you’re not all that impressed with his offer after his previous antics, “So you can just try to wake me up even more?” 

“Come on sweet.” Alex chuckles, rubbing your thigh again before squeezing it. “Not my fault you’re not finding it relaxing.”

Pretending that him gripping your thigh didn’t give you flashbacks to the other night, you keep your voice quiet as you raise your eyebrows accusingly, “Because you’re trying to be a tease.”

“And it’s working.” Alex smirks, clearly knowing whatever your tells are by now, he gestures to the back of the plane, “Wanna go to the bathroom?” 

Its a mixture of shock and being entirely unimpressed that has you asking, “Are you kidding?”

“Absolutely not.” Alex grins, holding his chuckle as he asks, “We’re not on holiday yet, technically. We could go again if you're not feeling satisfied enough before we land?” 

You don’t dignify him with an answer, you just shake your head and look away from the tease. While the thought of him fucking you and you having to be quiet because others are around seems like quite the thrill, the mere thought of doing so in a public aeroplane has you wanting gag. 

“What?” Alex fakes his hurt, nonchalantly following up with, “I know you can get horny just after you’ve woken up.”

Your head whips back to him, narrowing your eyes as you scold, “You’re being loud.” 

He wasn’t. His voice was just above a whisper. But the mere fact you were on a plane with the possibility of anyone around you eavesdropping has you getting all embarrassed and flustered in an instant.

“Sorry,” Alex barely holds back his grin. “I’ll be subtle about it when I take you in the bathroom.”

Instead of scowling, you lean your head back on the seat, close your eyes, and take a deep breath so you don’t end up smacking him. Taking a few seconds to calm your anxiousness down and try not to let his joking get you too embarrassed when you know he isn’t trying to be malicious, you just stay like that silently. 

But Alex disturbs your peace, “You don’t have to think about it so intently Y/N/N, we can just do it.”

“No.” You look at him again, and say even quietly to try and further your point, “Not to mention everyone would see.”

Alex can’t help but take that though as you just don’t want to right now. In such a public setting. That’s not you saying that you’d never be ready to join the mile high club.

“Oh okay, remind me to take you on a private jet.” Alex squeezes your thigh again, before winking, “They mind their business on those.” 

You’re lost for words for a brief moment. Taking in exactly what that means, and you end up half frowning. 

“Way to persuade me.” You scoff, “Telling me you’re already in the mile high club.” 

Sarcasm is thick in your voice as you say, “Such a turn on.”

The singer can’t help but smirk though, “Don’t be jealous now, sweet.” 

After that, Alex seems to give you a break from his endless torment. He takes his hand from your thigh as he reaches down to his bag by his feet and takes out the word search book he bought himself in WHSmiths at the airport. Finally you feel like you can relax and sleep for the remainder of the 2 hour flight. 

Or you hoped so anyway, but it seems the vibrations of the plane's wall just wanted you conscious. So it was with a huff you leant back against the headrest once more. 

���Just,” Alex sighs and he picks his hand up to cup the side of your face to gently push your head on his shoulder. 

Instant comfort was an understatement compared to the wall and the seat. But you still felt weird about it. 

You tell him with a sigh, “I don’t want to annoy you.”

“You don’t annoy me at all, Y/N/N.” He dismisses immediately, paying you no more attention after saying, “Go to sleep.”

And so you did. You got a good hour’s sleep and you think it was only when the plane started to make a steady descent that your body woke you up as a result of the decrease in altitude. But you woke up gently and slowly, and you realised you were still on Alex’s shoulder long before you opened your eyes. 

You found yourself not wanting to move. The woody scent of his aftershave leaves you in a little trance all the time and you never want to bring yourself out of it. So you just blinked your eyes open slowly and told your body not to even twitch to give away that you were awake. 

And Alex didn’t notice because you now see he’s entirely too engrossed in his book. Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre.

A true classic, you can’t help but tiredly smile as you see he’s about to get to one of your favourite bits of the book. You following pretty easily for a few pages because he’s holding the book open practically as far as it can go (you’re so tired you can find it in yourself to shudder at the fact the book will definitely have a cracked spine) in one hand, and you only noticed when he turned the pages that his other had gone back to gently resting on your thigh.

Everything is good for about 5 minutes, but then the singer started reading too fast for you at one of your favourite bits, so you end up having to say a quiet, “Go back,” 

“What?” You feel Alex turn his head towards you a little, his jaw gently nudging your head but you don’t make a single effort to move.

“Hadn’t finished the page,” You tell him and Alex can’t help but smile as he turns the page back for you.  

His only indication that you’re ready to move on is the slight nod of your head and Alex even angles the book towards your direction a little more so you can both read. He smiles at the way you haven’t attempted to move from his shoulder at all, seemingly quite comfy. 

You both continue reading together for the next few pages until the same thing happens again where Alex turns the page too soon. This time you whine a little as you whisper, “Too fast.”

“Not had you complain about my speed before.” Alex can’t help but tease when the opportunity is right there for the taking, but all it earns him is a poke in his side which makes him jump and he just about peers down at you seeing you smiling victoriously.

After this you fall into a rhythm of you nodding slightly when you're ready for him to turn the page. It doesn’t bother Alex at all, no it's the opposite, he finds you endearing that you’re both enjoying his book and reading it at the same time. 

The both of you become entirely engrossed in Jane Eyre’s world that you barely even acknowledge that the plane is just about ready to land. It’s only when the air hostess’ voice fills the plane as they announce over the tannoy that you’d be landing shortly, does Alex close the book. 

At the same time you reluctantly pick your head up from his shoulder, Alex offers as he taps the book, “Can borrow it after me if you want?” 

“I’ve already read it, I just love that part you’re on.” You hum, smiling at him in earnest, “Thank you though.”

And both of you know you’re not just saying thank you for that offer, but thank you for allowing you to fall asleep on him. 

The transfer to the resort even had you in awe. But when you got to the hotel and you entered your room, you were blown away by your view. 

The white mountains are stunning and you were so glad you brought your camera. This was something you definitely didn’t want to ever forget. 

The air felt like ice on your skin as you took your pictures, the bitter cold making you want to jump into the private hot tub you have on your balcony. 

You restrain yourself, saving that for later, you opt for a hot shower to settle you after that flight and you end up falling asleep in the warmest queen sized bed. 

You all meet downstairs a few hours later where you get some food and decide that you’re going to all get ready to hit the slopes, you all opting for the red runs for today. They were so much fun and with you skiing, you just find yourself in awe of Flo on her snowboard flying past you all. 

It’s a fun few hours, with you all stopping half way down the slope at one of the cafes on the mountain where you all have a hot coffee, and the lads follow it up with a beer. The lads head off before the rest of you, wanting to be speed demons and race down the rest of the way which you’re all fine with. 

You know Flo will inevitably end up beating them down anyway. Which she of course did. 

Before you set off though, you girls decide that after dinner you’re all going to have a little hot tub party. So that’s how you’re now sinking in the hot tub on your balcony, Katie already in after beating you to being the first. 

You just laugh at her rushing in there to beat you, as you take off your hotel dressing gown to reveal your dark green bikini. Katie says she loves the colour of yours as you glance back around at her and tell her you adore her maroon one. 

But it’s when you step into the tub that Katie gasps, loud enough for you to pause as you stand in the pool of bubbling water. 

“What are they?” Katie points to your thighs with wide eyes. 

Your bruised beyond belief thighs. Dark, almost purple bruises that litter the tops of your thighs which were left by the mouth of the singer next door. 

“Y/N!” Katie yells, her jaw dropped as she looks at the assault on your skin, “What the fuck?” 

“Katie, stop looking at me.” You get all flustered and embarrassed so you're about to sit down, but your best friend grabs your hips to stop you so she can look at the dark marks for longer. 

“Oh my fucking god.” She shakes her head, too shocked by the sheer amount of them. “It’s hard not to when you have those on your thighs Y/N!”

“Please stop, can we just pretend you didn’t see them.” You pry yourself out of her grip and finally immerse yourself into the hot water, loving the chill dissipating from your body. 

“No, I want the gossip.” Katie grabs her glass of prosecco you’d poured her and left on the side of the tub along with yours and the other girls that were meant to be coming shortly. “How’s it been going between you two?” 

“Fine.” You nod with a coy smile as you reach for your glass. 

Your best friend shakes her head, “I’m not settling with fine.” 

“It’s good.” You take a long sip of your drink, knowing you’ll need it if you’re having this conversation, “I guess he keeps me on my toes.”

“In what way?” She prys. 

You think about how to word your feelings for a second. The sound of the jets humming in the cold air fills the brief silence until you end on, “I’m still not used to having a booty call or being one. I still get a text off him and it throws me... He still makes me nervous.”

“That’s good though.” Katie hums and nods, “He’d be boring if he didn’t make you nervous.”

“Yeah, I guess.” You nod in agreement. 

But your best friend enquires, “He’s not making you nervous in general now, right? Just when he comes on to you?”

“No, it's a lot better.” You explain honestly, sinking into the water a little more. “But I’m still not at ease if that makes any sense. I still find him difficult to read.”

“That just comes with time.” Katie nods, understanding you entirely, “When you start spending more time with him, you’ll figure it out.”

“Well that doesn’t really happen,” You mumble a little but seeing as she heard you and noting that sparkle in her eye for the gossip, you explain, “He sort of just shows up and we fuck and then he leaves.”

Katie frowns a little at that though, “Thought he took you out?”

“That was just until I felt more comfortable around him. We’ve not carried that on.” You almost cringe when you say, “We’re just shagging now.”

“And how’s that going?” Your best friend smirks, “The bruises seem like a good sign.”

You sigh, “Yeahhh.” taking another sip of your drink. 

“What was that sigh for?” She calls you out. 

You try to pass it off immediately, “Nothing.”

But she’s not having any of it, “S’not nothing, come on.”

“He was just a tease on the plane but he’s doing it on purpose.” Your cheeks heat up a bit as you tell her. 

“Getting you ready for later.” She grins and gives you some teasing suggestive eyes herself. 

You gently shake your head, “I don’t think so.”

“Oh?” Katie raises her eyebrows, “What does that mean?”

Oh fuck. 

“Don’t make me explain Katie.” You pout. 

She pushes you, “Come onnnn.”

You just sigh in defeat and say, “We’re not doing that right now.”

“Excuse me?” Your best friend is now even more confused. 

“You heard me Kate.” You sigh, closing your eyes not wanting to explain yet another of your stupid thoughts to her. 

For clarity’s sake she has to ask, “Weren’t you with him twice last week?”

“We shagged on Boxing Day and then the 28th and New Years.” You tell her. 

And it occurs to you that you’ve probably not been this active on a regular basis since you were in your late teens. Either you or Alex clearly has the sex drive of a teenager and with the state of your thighs, you think it’s more likely Alex. 

Glancing at the bruises again you can almost feel the ghost of his mouth there. You fall into the daze of remembering the way his lips attacked the tops of your thighs as he fingered you to edge you, not letting you finish until you were begging to have his tongue instead.  

He toyed with you, saying his mouth was already on you, sucking your thighs that bit more before biting them making you whine. But you were desperate to have him eat you out. Have his tongue tease and flick your clit in the way he knows makes you lose your mind. 

And he wouldn’t give in. Not until you were on the edge for the third time, right on the verge of getting bratty with him and making the right decision he compensated by eating you out until you came twice on his tongue. And the way he fucked you afterwards, god, you wish-

“And he’s not touched you since?” Katie’s question shocks you back to reality. 

You blink a few times, and shake your head, “No.” 

She smirks, almost trying to hide it behind her glass, “I bet you’re losing your mind.”

“I feel like it.” You hum, nodding. 

Katie asks, fully ready to big you up to go and knock on his door after your girls prosecco party, “Don’t you want him to touch you?”

“I want nothing more at the minute.” You tell her honestly, “But we’re not doing it until after the holiday.”

She frowns, completely confused, “Why?”

Surely on holiday is on of the best places to fuck? Why wouldn’t you be doing that? Katie can’t help but think. 

“Because he knew I felt uncomfortable about him paying for me to come and I was worried he’d expect something from me.”

“Y/N.” Her face falls and then she gently scorns you, “He’s not like that.”

“I know he isn’t Katie. But you know how my mind works. It worries me.” You shrug, not really being able to help it. 

“Well I thi-“ Katie starts but is interrupted by Florence appearing at the door of your balcony. 

“Hey,” You grin, very thankful for the conversation being cut short. 

Hopefully never to be brought up again. 

“Flo,” Katie smiles and waves her over, “Come in.”

The gorgeous woman walks out and hangs her dressing gown up before running to the tub to escape the chilly air. After commenting on how much both you and Katie like her black, glittery bikini, the artist asks you both, “What were we talking about?”

You try to think of something quickly to change the subject entirely but your best friend gets in there first and grins, “Just how Y/N/N is sleeping with Alex now and she’s seeing if she can go the holiday without.”

You might drown yourself in this hot tub. Can you get any more embarrassed today? 

Flo’s smile is huge as her head whips around to you in shock. You can tell she’s happy for you, presumably for Alex too, but she shocks you when she tells you, “Don’t deny yourself the pleasure.”

You’re so beyond confused by that statement until Katie’s eyes go wide as she gasps, “Fuck, I always forget about you two.”

You blink a few times as you hear her tell Katie that it’s understandable she’d forget because it was before her and Jamie got together. But you’re still in shock, you have to get the clarification, “You and Alex?”

You hope it doesn't sound like you’re annoyed because you’re not, no one even Alex has to tell you anything about this and clearly Flo just found out about yours and her ex’s rendezvous. You’re just confused, clearly Katie forgot but you’ve not even heard any jokes about it or any mention of it before now. 

“Yeah, a long time ago.” Flo nods and is quick to explain as she grabs her glass of prosecco. “Lost our virginities to each other back in college, but started seeing him years later.”

She continues to explain with a roll of her eyes, “But the idiot was seeing me at the same time as Alexa back on their Favourite Worst Nightmare tour so I held my tongue for about a week until I blew up and called him out in front of all the lads…” She adds quickly, “It got ugly.”

It makes your chest go tight. He did that to one of his best friends years ago, and he did to his girlfriend of three years last year. 

You're sincere when you say, “I’m so sorry.”

You feel almost embarrassed to be sleeping with him now. Especially when you’d consider Flo a friend of yours, even before this trip, when you spoke to her about her artwork that she creates at various parties you’ve both attended. She’d always been lovely to you and made you feel entirely at ease. 

And now you’re sleeping with her ex. You need the ground to open up and swallow you whole. 

“Don’t be, it worked out well in the end.” It seems that the artist can’t keep the smile off her face as she finishes her story, “I went to Manchester and Matty and my cousin, Adam, got me through it. And when the time was right and I was healed, Matty asked me out and now we’ve been together for a decade.” Her grin is huge as she proudly tells you, “Married for three and a half years.”

It’s impossible to not be happy for her, her love for her husband shining through so brightly. But you can’t help but ask her, “Why are you still friends with him? Alex, I mean.” 

You can’t imagine anyone betraying your trust that much and being close friends with them years later. 

“Oh, it took a long while and a lot of grovelling on his part. But after two years of barely speaking to him, and with how happy I was with Matty, I forgave Al and now we get on like nothing ever happened.” Flo explains, “I see the other lads too often to let it continue for a lifetime of awkwardness.”

She’s a better person than you. You could never. 

You think out loud. “The lads didn’t know he was two timing you?” 

“No,” She shakes her head, taking a sip of her drink before saying, “They were as shocked as me when Alexa showed up. Only Miles knew, and covered for him.” 

You shake your head, seeing Miles in a completely different light now. But you guess if you’re judging Alex by how he’s only been with you, you have to do the same with Miles. 

“You’re too good. I would never forgive either of them for that.” Katie gives her two cents on the situation. 

“I’ve been told that a lot. By Alex himself too... But despite last year's shit show, he has changed.” Flo assures you, but then smirks, “So enjoy him, queen.”

You sink into the water a bit more, entirely awkward about the way both women are smirking at you. 

“Don’t be embarrassed. He’s good.” Flo giggles, “God only knows that if I didn’t call him out to everyone I would have a hard time choosing between him and Matty.” 

You’re glad she’s such a lovely person and she eases you entirely. 

“Good job you’re married then.” You joke, which makes Katie also spit out her drink laughing and Flo giggles before clinking her prosecco glass with yours. 

“You should see her thighs.” Your best friend laughs. 

You shoot her the dirtiest look, “Katie!”

~*~*~*~ 

Thankfully by the time Kristen arrived the subject of you and Alex had long since been dropped. 

Flo saw your thighs and she told you about how she thinks the man will never truly grow up because he left lots of love bites on her boobs when they lost their virginities, and mercifully after that, the subject moved away and the four of you are now just chilling and listening to your a playlist that’s blaring through your phone. 

You were all giggling at nothing in particular when you got startled by two men at the balcony door. Alex and Jamie come outside in their trunks and Jamie is the one to scoff, “You all thought you could have a party without us.”

Jamie practically jumps in and sits himself down between Flo and Katie, but your attention is drawn to Alex who sinks in beside you and you half find yourself wanting to scurry over to Katie. 

He looks too good. Last time you’d seen him shirtless you were drunk and your memory hazy, but he looks so fucking good and his toned abdomen and his trunks low enough for you to clearly see that V line down to- Stop. 

Stop. 

Thankfully Alex doesn’t seem to notice the way you get a little bit more tense with him beside you. Instead he immediately asks Flo, “How’s Matty, angel?” 

“Yeah he’s good, thanks Shakespeare.” Flo smiles, and despite not understanding her nickname for him, you happily listen in to distract yourself. 

Maybe it’s to do with the Macbeth reference in If You Were There, Beware? You can’t help but wonder. Maybe you’ll ask her later. 

The singer can’t help but ask curiously, “Why didn’t he join us again?” 

“Tour rehearsals.” The artist informs him, “His UK tour starts on the ninth.”

“Fair enough,” Alex nods, clearly completely understanding the situation Flo’s husband finds himself in. “I’m glad we aren’t back on the road till late Feb now.” 

“Bet you are.” Flo smiles at him but when he tunes into Jamie’s conversation, her eyes flick to you and she smirks. 

You sink even further into the water. 

Despite Alex now being beside you, you try not to let your nervous energy take over.  No, instead you carry on as normal and have some of the funniest conversations with the people around you. You’re only thrown off when you realise that an old Arctic Monkeys song comes on through your phone and your eyes go wide when Jamie sighs, “I haven’t heard this song in so long.” 

Immediately, you tense hearing the guitar and drums at the start of Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts. Fuck, this is why you don’t normally have your music on around Katie, so you don’t have this awkward interaction.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise it was in this playlist.” You say, immediately turning to reach for your phone.

Liar. You feel Alex’s eyes screaming at you, as he looks amused at the fact you like his music, as if he already didn’t know. 

“Keep it on.” Jamie tells you, and you hesitate for a split second feeling Alex’s eyes on you until his friend continues to say, “Complete nostalgia of playing it at yours Al.” 

“Yeah, it’s a gooden.” Alex smiles.

“Who was this one even about Al?” Flo asks, entirely amused, thankfully stealing the singer's attention away from you so he doesn’t see you starting to fidget, really not wanting the song to stay on.

Your knee is twitching, your foot tapping on the floor of the jacuzzi like you can’t sit still at all. Thankfully the water and the bubbles will be enough to stop you from being noticed though.

“Just that girl I fancied back in Year 11.” Alex explains, “She was in your English lessons, I think she was called-“

If you were to tell the story again, you wouldn’t have been able to name the girl at all. Just that Alex really liked her in school and never got the courage to ask her out and then some guy who was in the year above them in school ended up going out with her. 

The conversation moved on and easily past that and your awkwardness about the man you’re sleeping with catching you having his song on your playlist eases off. But then, about 10 minutes later, it happens again. 

“Fuck my life,” You whisper immediately reaching to grab your phone this time. 

Because this is so much worse. 

It’s not just that Piledriver Waltz has started to play. It’s even more embarrassing that it's the Submarine soundtrack version of the song, it’s just Alex. Not even Arctic Monkeys.  

“Didn’t know you enjoyed my music this much, sweet.” Alex can’t help but once again tease you. Finding your reactions too entertaining not to. 

The panic in your eyes when the first Monkey's song came on, but the way you swore under your breath at this one just made him want to burst out laughing. You look absolutely mortified, and clearly not wanting to get any extra teasing from himself or your friends which you were likely expecting.

But Alex isn’t one to disappoint. So of course he teased you. 

You can’t help but narrow your eyes at him, “In the nicest possible way, fuck off.” Before you quickly look for a playlist that is safe and doesn’t have any of his songs on there. 

“It’s all good Y/N.” Alex smirks, “It’s good to know I’m doing something right.”

His hand comes to rest on your thigh to stop your leg from tapping. You swallow, stopping your movements and taking a deep breath to not let it get to you that the others could see his hand on your thigh. Although you’d rather them see his hand there than the bruises he’s left. 

Thankfully the bubbles disguise it from everyone else and no one comments, but just as you ask, “What album do you want to listen to?” Miles and Nick turn up at your door with more alcohol in their hands and everyone beckons them in. 

Which is an issue for you because the hot tub is probably only meant to have 4 people in it at the most and now there’s 8 of you. So you’re unsure why it’s you and Kirsten that have drawn the short straws, but you’ve both been pulled into the laps of who you’re sleeping with. But one second you were seated closely beside Alex, and now you’re sitting on his lap, your arm having to go over his shoulder so you don't slip off as you lean into him a little. 

Kirsten and Nick, you understand, they are married. Flo not sitting in Miles’ lap, you again understand because they aren’t together. What you don’t understand is why Katie isn’t on her husband's lap when they are married and have a child. But you, who has been sleeping with this man for less than a month, has been pulled onto his lap to make more room for everyone. 

All of a sudden you feel like you’re holding your breath and can’t relax. After being submerged in the warm water for so long, most of your top half being exposed to the crisp air makes you chilly and your thighs feel far too close to the surface of the water so you feel your hands in your lap to try and disguise the bruises. 

Thankfully one of Alex’s arms comes to rest across your thighs too and he holds your thighs again. And you can’t help slipping back into that little daydream of yours. 

Of the way he pried your thighs open, as if you weren’t already willing and dripping for him. As if you weren’t begging him to eat you out anyway. And when he finally gave into your demands his fingers only dug into your skin more, holding you open entirely at his mercy. 

And when he worked you up and up until he had your back arching and his name caught in your throat as you pulled harshly on his hair. He kept going, eating up everything you had to give him until you were writhing beneath him entirely overstimulated. 

After he blissfully tortured you like that, he kissed his way up your body until you could taste yourself on his tongue. And that only lead to him fucking you till you could barely move. His cock made you see stars when he hooked his arms under your legs and moved them closer to your chest. 

The pleasure he drove into you over and over was blinding, you saw white when you came. The only thing you can remember is the way Alex groaned into your ear when you clenched around him and the way he moaned when you tugged on his sweaty hair. And the way he bit your shoulder when he got his release not a minute later. 

Not to mention the way he flipped you over when you both caught your breaths and he fu-

“I can feel you.” Alex's whisper startles you out of your memory and your eyes snap to the man you were daydreaming about. 

You all but jump off his lap, your heart racing ten to the dozen feeling like you’ve been caught red handed. But you keep calm, not letting your cheeks heat up to give you away. 

“Feel what?” You ask him, the shock slowly disappearing from your face. 

“Your pulse,” Alex tells you in a low voice, his grip on you tightening, “On my thigh.”

And it dawns on you what he means. You’re fucking throbbing, completely aching at the thought of him. And he can fucking feel you. 

Fuck offfffffff. Men can actually feel that?!

No. No. No. 

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” You play dumb, having to because you don’t think you’ll be able to look at him again if not. 

Not that you can right now, you just look at Flo and start listening to her, Miles, and Kirsten’s conversation. Meanwhile praying to every god that there is that you calm the fuck down and you stop being horny immediately. 

“Course you don’t, sweet.” Alex kisses your shoulder and his lips linger on your skin as he smirks, “Just like you can’t feel me.”

You’re about to ask him what he means until he shifts you against him more and you can feel his erection pressed against your thigh. He’s hard. Really hard. You have to hold in the sound you want to make. 

Why the fuck did you want this ‘no fucking’ shit. You can’t stop thinking about him. The way you want to kiss him. The way you want him in your mouth. The way you want him to fill you up and fuck you like it’s the last time you’re ever going to be able to. 

You don’t even realise what you’re doing until Alex grunts in your ear, “I’d stop wriggling unless you want me to fuck you in front of these lot.”

Your thighs press against each other and you pray Alex didn’t feel that too. Despite him definitely noticing, Alex didn’t say anything, didn’t tease you any more and you just about managed to have a conversation with Flo about how she’s joining her husband on his tour and how she’s going to stay in Sheffield for a while after to see her best friend. 

But it’s not long after that, the alcohol runs dry and everyone notices the time. Nick and Kirsten are the first to leave, followed by Katie and Jamie, and when you don’t move from Alex’s lap (because he won’t let you, his hands clutching you tightly after you tried to move when the first couple left. Clearly doesn’t think the bubbles will  hide his hard on) Flo and Miles are the last to get out. 

Miles gives you both a cheeky smile and he helps the artist out of the tub and hands her the dressing gown. Both of them say bye to you and Alex but Florence gives you a teasing look as she leaves, seeming to scream at the both of you, have funnn. 

Your jaw locks and you very subtly shake your head at her, trying your absolute best to keep the smile off your face and show your strength. And you’d say you do well, you shout an unbothered bye to the direction they went and only when you hear your bedroom door thud shut does Alex’s hold on you go slack. 

And finally you release the breath you were holding and grab the side of the tub to stand up, needing off this man's lap before you do something you’ll regret. Abandoning your empty prosecco glass you just get yourself stood up when the singer stops you. 

“Where are you going?” Alex gently grabs your wrist and pulls you back to him, the water sloshing as you fall back towards him. 

“Alex,” You sigh as he moves you so you’re straddling him, but before you can even protest his mouth finds yours. 

His kiss takes your breath away, and he doesn’t give you time to think. He just wants you to feel. 

Alex attacks you with long kisses, three of them that have you forgetting that you were even trying to get away. It’s as if something ignites in you both, the mere connection of your lips has your skin erupting in goosebumps, and they aren’t from the contrast with the hot water and the cold air. 

But you seem to get some perspective and much to Alex’s disappointment, you pull back from the kiss. But he doesn’t let you go far at all, his hand on the back of your neck keeps you close enough your foreheads are resting against each others. 

“It’s just a kiss.” Whispers the man who’s got your heart racing, his hand pulling your neck that bit closer hoping you’ll kiss him again. 

“It’s never just a kiss with you,” You breathlessly reply, gently shaking your head, your nose rubbing against his. 

When he pulls you back for another kiss you can’t deny yourself the simple pleasure. Because it is never just a kiss. 

And it isn’t, because you’re not sure what this one is laced with, but you’re addicted. You don’t want to stop for a single second, especially not when he grabs your hips with both hands and pulls you against him properly. 

Your back arches, your chest against his now and he can feel your peaked nipples through your bikini top. He can’t help but groan, he’s been wanting to feel them against him in some capacity since he saw them through your bikini top when he lifted you onto his lap and you got cold and his head filled with filth about you. 

About how he wanted to pinch them between his fingers so you’d make that noise he loves. About how he couldn’t stop thinking about his head being back between your thighs when he spotted the bruises he’d left there. About how he wanted nothing more than to tease you in front of his friends, to see how far he could push you out of your comfort zone. And after he could feel you throbbing on his thigh he wanted nothing more than to make you cum over and over again. 

This kiss turns hard and hungry and it takes you enough by surprise that if you were standing you’d have stumbled back with the force of it. As you’re on his lap though, you can’t escape and you don’t for a second want to. Alex’s hands move your hips so you start grinding on him and both of you moan at the friction. 

You hope that the rumble of the jets hides them from anyone other than the two of you, and you pray to every god that Katie and Jamie haven’t decided to go into their hot tub as they are the room beside yours. Despite the wooden panelling hiding the balconies completely from potential neighbours, you need to keep quiet. But it’s so difficult when he’s making you feel so good. 

The more you grind against him, the more you can feel your stomach tighten with need. The way Alex is dragging you against his cock just makes you worse, your clit finally getting the friction it’s been aching for.  

Minutes pass of your whining, gasping, and mewling as he encourages you, taking handfuls of your arse to pull you towards him as he bucks his hips up into yours. His moans motivate you more, your hips now erratic in search for relief as he kisses you. 

Alex licks into your mouth like he can’t get enough of the way you taste. His groans spur you on, and his hand moving up to the middle of your waist has you arching into his chest again, and he can’t help but move his hips in time with yours, loving the little whines that escape your pretty lips. 

But he needs to hear more, so when you tug on his hair, and he bucks up into you, he bites your bottom lip when you moan so he can muffle it with his own lips. He smirks when he pulls away and he grabs your face, his thumb and index finger pressing your cheeks together as he grinds you against him again, his fingers digging into your hip ensuring it. 

The moan you let out for him then, you can’t suppress, and by the way Alex’s eyes seem to sparkle with delight shows you just how satisfied the sound makes him. Like it was intent all along to have you be loud for him.

“Do I feel good, sweet?” His voice a low whisper that has your throat bobbing.  

The singer kisses his way up your jaw before biting your earlobe, and he clearly wants an answer, “Well?” His hand falling from your cheeks to your neck and the slightest pressure has your head in pieces. 

“Mmm.” You hum in agreement pulling back enough to grab his jaw and bring his lips back up to yours. 

You refuse to let him mark your neck up again, no matter how good his lips feel on your throat. And at this point you know he’d do it just to get the both of you caught to see if you could withstand your friends teasing. 

This between you carries on for longer than it should. But that pull, that spark, between you, now ignited neither of you can get enough. 

“You like knowing you get me this hard, just from seeing the bruises I left on your thighs?” Alex rasps, as he kisses slowly down your neck. 

At this point, you think you’d do just about anything to have his lips on you or on your skin somehow. It’s addicting. So much so that you don’t remember the silly rule that you agreed upon, especially when Alex moves his hand  

“From seeing these,” Alex hums against your neck as his thumbs circling both your nipples through your bikini. “I can still feel them on my chest from the other night.”

His lips trail down your neck and the top of your chest and he kisses over your skin and his hands grab at you that bit tighter as he says, “I want my mouth all over you, sweet.”

His thumbs hook into your bikini top and he pulls both cups to the side, leaving you bare for him. His lips are on your breast in a second and the other he kneads in his calloused hand. 

Your head falls back, a moan falling freely from your lips as you grind yourself onto his cock as he sucks your nipple. Needing as much friction as you can get because you could easily finish like this if he carried on. But god, you want him inside you instead. 

Picking your head up, your fingers tug in his hair encouraging him as his right hand now grabs your arse again making you move on him. Fuck, you could cum just from this, easily if he carries on. 

He swaps to your other tit, lapping at it and savouring the sweetness of your skin and he can’t help but moan when you rut against him again. God, he just wants to have you like this forever, just free of inhibitions and completely giving into your desire. 

“Well, sweet? You like knowing what you do to me?” He teases, but he takes it a step further and he reaches between you and he presses circles onto your clit through your clothes, “That I like feeling this greedy thing throbbing on my lap for me?”

The sound you let out is guttural and completely obscene. To mute it you harshly pull his hair so you can press your lips against his to quieten yourself. But fuck knows if he even helps. 

His sweet torture continues and you feel the tension forming in your lower stomach, flames scorching your limbs, all caused by the man who’s name falls from your lips in desparate pleas, “Alex.”

His kiss is hot and heavy like a man starved, like he could never get enough of you. His hands claiming you is something promise you’ll never deny yourself the pleasure of again, those magic fucking fingers have you seeing stars. Each swipe of them against your clothed clit pushes you closer towards that delightful edge. 

“I- Al, oh.” Fuck. You’re going to finish, this is it and it’s going to shatter you entirely. 

His warm hands on you, the feeling of his chest rising and falling against your own, his body heat making your nipples perk from the stimulation. And his fucking cock that you’re aching to have inside you, he’s so hard all you can think about is reaching down and moving your costume to the side so you can line him up and fill you to the br-

So consumed with your thoughts and your erratic hips chasing the orgasm you're on the verge of having you miss the singer mumble against your lips, “Okay, that’s enough.”  

You only register when Alex’s hand now holds your hip to stop you from moving and you hear him say, “Stop, sweet.”

“No,” You helplessly whine, entirely cockdrunk at this point, wanting him too badly and you kiss him deeply again. 

But Alex only entertains the kiss for another second, before he pulls away and to stop your lips from following his again, he holds your jaw, “If you keep kissing me, we’re not going to make it another minute.”

You’re so breathless you barely understand what he means. But as you take a minute to get some oxygen back into your system you realise what you’ve done and god you want to lock yourself up and throw away the key. 

“I’m sorry.” You swallow, looking away from his gaze. 

“Don’t apologise.” Alex shakes his head, and you note he’s just as out of breath as you. And he gently readjusts your bikini so it’s covering your modesty again as he says, “We agreed on your rule, sweet, don’t wanna break it on day one now, do we?”

It’s his smirk that he gives you as he says the end of that which makes you say, “You’re a bully.”

Because he’s got you all hot and bothered, only to completely edge you and use ‘your rule’ as an excuse to leave you right on the brink. God you could absolutely throttle him. But knowing Alex, he’d enjoy it, so you keep your hands to yourself. 

The singer just laughs, “You love it.” And he taps your arse under the water to prompt you to stand up so he can too. 

Jesus Christ it’s only now that you realise how perishing the cold is, you practically jump out of the tub and run for your dressing gown before heading to the door. And you’re kind enough to hold the door open for Alex as he wraps his towel around his shoulders. 

It’s only now that you gulp seeing just how little the swim shorts disguise his erection. Standing at attention is an understatement, and there’s a little spark of pride that scorches your blood knowing you’ve caused that. 

You don’t let your eyes linger, but you know from the smug smirk on his face as he walks through the door that he’s caught you looking. And the prick opens his mouth, probably to bully you once more but you beat him to it as you close and lock the balcony door. 

“You don’t care about the rule, why’d you stop when I was clearly enjoying myself?” You ask as you follow him to the door to your room. 

“Because you were dead set about not wanting to before we came.” Alex tells you sincerely, and you can’t help your heart from warming that little bit as he looks you in the eye and says, “I don’t want you regretting anything between us.” 

Swallowing down the smile you want to plaster all over your face, you tell him, “I don’t regret what just happened, for the record.”

“Good.” Alex smiles, walking the last few steps to your door. And the singer is about to open it before he pauses, turns back and tells you, “Oh, and don’t get yourself off.” 

Immediately you frown a little. It’s a miracle your words don’t come out as a scoff, “Don’t think you have that authority.” 

The smirk that comes to those pretty swollen lips and the way his eyes darken is something that needs capturing in a museum. Fucking hell it’s definitely banked away in a certain area of your mind. 

“I could just fuck you now if you’re going to do that.” Alex raises his eyebrows, and you can tell he’so putting the offer out there. 

But after him saying it’s only day one, you’re definitely not giving in now. A week without fucking him. You can do it. You just can’t fucking slip up again. How embarrassing of you to have given in to your temptations only mere hours after your holiday began. 

Alex seems to understand your thoughts entirely so he quickly saves himself from a scolding,  “Think of it as being edged instead, don’t touch yourself. It’ll make next week more fun.”

Your still fucking throbbing for him, aching isn’t even the right word for the need for relief you’re feeling. It looks like your bullet won’t be being used while you’re away after all. But if you’re showing restraint, you certainly won’t be the only one. 

You nod, the corner of your lips tugging up a little seeing Alex smile down at you and as he reaches from the door handle to let himself out, you surprise him by saying, “Don’t touch yourself either then.” 

He looks at you again, his eyes entirely full of surprise that you’ve given him an order. But he’ll do it for you. He won’t be a double standard, so he agrees.  

Although when he opens the door and takes a step out, and you tell him, “Go get a cold shower.” He loves your brattiness.  

“Could share one of those?” Alex offers as he takes a step back towards you, his eyes bright and full of mischief as he smirks down at you. 

All you can think is, And end up having a repeat of the first time you were in the shower with him? No chance. 

“See you tomorrow, Alex.” You smile, placing a hand on his bare chest and pushing him towards the door perpendicular to yours. 

Alex chuckles, blowing you a teasing kiss, “Goodnight, sweet.”

~*~*~*~ January 4th 2019 ~*~*~*~

To say that the next couple of days were positively torturous would be a massive understatement. The cold shower you had after Alex left your room that first night didn’t do much to calm you down, the ache between your thighs didn’t disappear until well into the night of you tossing and turning in bed. 

At one point you were ready to march into his room and tell him how unfair it is to leave you on edge like that, and that it was unfair because you’d be so pent up that you’d have a miserable holiday. But then you’d realise you’d see the singer's smug smirk and he’d say something along the lines of, ‘You’re so greedy that you come begging me to get you off, is that it? You can’t go even a few hours without me, can you not? You poor sweet thing.’ 

So you chose to stay warm in bed, following his direction of not getting yourself off and you eventually fall asleep. You swear though that if he got himself off and didn’t stick through this with you, you’d be absolutely fuming. 

And you can’t help but be pleased when Alex eventually joins you all for breakfast the next morning, and he made a thunderstorm look appealing. ‘In a mood’ would be an understatement. The singer looked like he hadn’t slept a wink, he hadn't even bothered with his hair, it was still dishevelled, and his glum, tired face had a smile tugging on your lips.

Good. You like knowing you’re not the only one who felt absolutely tortured.    

You had to hide your smirk by taking a drink of your orange juice, sipping it through the straw as your eyes linger on the singer who looks like he could commit a murder if his breakfast was served wrong. Clearly though, you’re not being as slick as you thought you were hiding your amusement by taking a drink because when Alex’s eyes lock with yours he sees the knowing in them. 

Instead of shying away from him though, you stare straight into his eyes and let your smirk show when you pull your drink out. You even raise your eyebrows at him entirely enthralled that he looks so much worse than you this morning. Looks like it’ll be cold showers for him for the foreseeable future.  

Alex couldn’t help but find you equally as amusing that morning at breakfast. The smile stayed on your face for the entirety of your meal and he could tell that seeing him so affected by the lack of your company had somehow boosted your confidence. So, pent up he may be, but he’d suffer in silence for as long as he needed to see that smug look on your face once more.  

Alex made sure his teasing continued throughout that day and the next. His flirting and lingering looks had you more on edge than usual thanks to the fact you felt entirely touch-starved, but you couldn’t deny that he had your heart racing. 

On the slopes he would sometimes wait for you if he wasn’t racing the boys or Flo down the mountain, to make sure you got down alright and there would be flirting when you’d stopped at the cafe’s that were half way down the slope. And he had you buy him the promised drinks that made you come on this holiday in the first place so you were happy keeping your end of that bargain. 

He really made you smile today when you had a bit of a fall on the slope. He watched you fall but he stopped right beside you and made sure you were okay before getting you back to your feet and he went down the slope as by your side as he could get. And when you both reached the bottom, he played into checking you over, being cheeky and saying he’d have to get the layers off you to make a complete and thorough check. Something which of course you rolled your eyes at but you couldn’t keep the smile from your face. 

When you walked out of your room each night dressed to go for dinner he told you how gorgeous you looked in your dress when he saw you, whether that be him stepping out of his room at the same time coincidentally or when you walked down with Katie and he was waiting for you with the other lads. Tonight was the latter and the way he looked you up and down made you feel all tingly inside.

And this evening at dinner he sat beside you and when you were waiting between courses, Alex rested his hand on your thigh, and it wasn’t at all to try and rile you, he seemed to just want to be affectionate. And Flo is right, why would you deny yourself that pleasure. 

You know you’re nowhere near a relationship, or possibly even heading into that direction. But this fun you’re having with him, it doesn’t mean you can’t take comfort from the small meaningful gestures that you’ve found that you’ve missed since your last relationship. 

So yes, you’ve adored the flirting, and matched his energy entirely by giving him back as much as good as you’ve got which grants you access to that cheeky smirk you’re starting to love being the cause of. You pretend like your heart doesn’t do something stupid when he’s affectionate and you’ll continue to act like you aren’t dying for him to touch you and kiss you and fuck you until you’re back home. 

And all of this is the reason why right now, you’re absolutely seething at yourself. Why you’re now at this bar, side-eyeing the man who’s had you at whit's end for the past few days wanting god to do you a favour and stop what you’re seeing. 

You hate it, you absolutely hate it. Seeing Alex’s hand on her hip, the way he smiles at her as she’s talking, and the way he’s making this random girl laugh. 

It’s been at least 15 minutes now since he went up to the bar to get himself another drink and left your group at the few standing tables in the corner which you’d all claimed. And when you looked over after 5 minutes of him disappearing, you saw him at the bar talking away with possibly the most gorgeous woman you’d ever seen. 

Intimidated isn’t even the word you could use to compare yourself to the stunning woman. She’s just everything you’re not. Clearly she's confident to speak to a stranger normally and not at 100 miles per hour because she’s nervous. She’s absolutely gorgeous with the complete opposite hair colour and style to yours, and her dress accentuates all of her features perfectly, leaving little to everyone’s imagination but she’s so gorgeous and fearlessly self assured, there’s no way you could possibly compete with a woman like her. 

Your chest sinks because it’s so easy for you to realise just how jealous of this woman you are. Not just because she holds Alex’s attention and you want that back for yourself, you’re just hit with that intimidatingly jealous feeling you’ve not experienced for such a long time. And it’s such a dirty feeling, you really judge yourself for it. 

Because you’re well aware you’re not in a relationship with the singer. Yes you’re fucking each other but he could easily call that off at any point, especially on holiday when you’ve established you’re not sleeping with each other and that will make your self esteem plummet and not to be dramatic but you’ll more than likely never put yourself out there again, and you think that is valid enough if that’s how this night ended.   

To make it worse, the ladies you’re with, your close friends can clearly see that you’re slipping into a foul mood. A few times you’ve been asked what’s wrong, and you’d have to tune back into conversations and plaster a fake smile on your face because you’ve got so stupidly in your head about all of this. 

It was only when Katie followed your gaze to the bar did she realise what was making you slip into a bad mood. On the down low, when Kirsten and Flo were having their own conversation, Katie said, “Y/N/N?” 

“Hmm?” You hum, tearing your eyes away from a laughing Alex and the stunning woman.  

You look at your best friend as she seriously asks, “What are you waiting for?” 

Immediately, you’re confused, “What?” 

Katie can’t help but laugh to herself a little as you’re being so blatantly obvious to her. And she can’t lie, she secretly loves seeing you jealous, because she’s never witnessed it before. And the mere fact you’re being silently possessive over Alex is all the more amusing to her. 

“Just go and get him.” She encourages you, seeing that you’re holding your glass of wine that little bit too tight.  

She understands that you’re probably that bit more jealous too because you are bordering on being a little bit drunk. Your tolerance is slightly better than hers and she knows that you’ve drank near enough the same amount so she’s very aware how your thoughts are probably being manipulated by the alcohol. 

“No, if he wants to play he can,” You tell her and put on a brave face, turning away from him now in an attempt to not shoot daggers at him with your eyes, “He just won’t be getting me again afterwards.”

And you mean it. You won’t get caught up in that STD mess waiting to happen. Condoms or not. It’s a no from you. 

You drink with the girls a bit more then, the other lads make you laugh too but after a few minutes you become all too aware again that there’s a missing piece. And it’s like a wound to the chest when you see he’s still there talking to that woman and they seem to be standing that little bit closer, smiles still on both of their faces. 

Something about it hurts, and not due to the fact he’s being flirted with. It mostly gets to you because he’s being so kind to someone he’s just met and you only got that side of him after a ten years and only when you called him out for his behaviour. It makes your heart sink a little, you just don’t know why he wasn’t ever this friendly toward you when you were first introduced, yet he can be so kind, smiley, and flirty to a complete stranger. 

Up until 6 months ago, Alex would barely hold a conversation with you and something about that always hurt. The effort you’d make only for it to go unreciprocated when he probably knew how much it took for you to not be socially awkward around him. It’s a blow to your chest and to your ego. 

And to make it worst, he’s flirting with this girl as if you haven’t been fucking each other for a month and he didn’t almost fuck you in the hot tub the other night. As if the bruises he left on your thighs aren’t still very prominent and he didn’t edge you, leaving you craving every little bit of him for the last two days. And now he’s flirting with someone that isn’t you. 

And you can’t even blame the woman for flirting with him. He looks impeccable this evening. He’s in a black suit with a black shirt and he looks incredible. Like you’d do just about anything for him to pull you aside in this darkened bar and for him to whisper filthy promises in your ear before his lips find yours and he takes your breath away all over again. 

But you’re not so lucky. And your mood worsens when you see the bartender come back with two drinks in his hands and he places them in front of the pair. But it’s when Alex gets his card out and seemingly pays for both does your heart drop. 

Has he just fucking bought her a drink?

You blink a few times and force yourself to look away. The feeling that’s settled in your stomach not being one that you want to ever be feeling. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion and you wish it wasn’t running through your veins right now so you try and breath through it, letting the thoughts pass you by as quickly as they come.  

The people that know you best though, can see you’ve sort of checked out from the conversations surrounding you, and you’re staring out of the window at the snow that’s beginning to gently fall. Your best friend knows it’s not the same zoned out as you were awestruck when you first arrived on this holiday though, it’s due to you being in your head because of the man at the bar. 

And it seems Katie isn’t the only one, because Flo asks Mrs Cook quietly, “Should I go tell him?”

Katie notes that she nods over towards the bar, but your best friend immediately shakes her head.  

“No,” She tells her, “Let him dig his own grave.”

Because after everything last year, she wants Alex to prove himself worthy of having her best friend. She knows you deserve something good, and despite being 99% sure that Alex is just being polite to a fan at the bar, she wants him to prove that he wouldn’t ruin this good thing that you both have going for the sake of another woman who could pass as a model.  

So Katie distracts you, getting another glass of wine down you is easy to do and she has you giggling with her and Flo again. 

While you adore your friends for their distraction tactics, Alex and the stunning woman linger in your mind, and you feel like you need a second to quieten those intrusive thoughts. So you head to the toilet in hopes to clear your head but when you hold the sink and look at your reflection the clarity that hits you is that you’re drunk and probably (most definitely) overreacting, and you just find yourself wanting to close your eyes. 

So that’s why when you make your way back to your friends, who Alex is still not with, you decide your night is done. 

“Guys, I’m going to head back.” You tell all of them, “The wine has gone to my head and I’m so tired after today.”

Each and every one of their faces fall and they all start a little bit of a commotion, shaking their heads and shout over each other drunkenly pleading with you not to go. But it’s a singer who is the one that complains the loudest. 

“Noooo come on, Y/N/N.” Miles throws an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as he says, “Party with us.”

You smile at him but there’s no way you’ll be giving in. You need your bed. And to get away from Alex and the stunning woman taking all of his attention at the bar. 

“Miles, you saw the fall I had earlier today,” You almost wince at the memory, “I’m knackered and just wanna get in bed so I’m good again tomorrow.”

“I’ll walk you back.” Jamie offers but immediately you shake your head, having none of it. 

“No, you’re having a great time, stay out. Have fun.” You smile, giving him a look to say ‘do not put on your coat’ as you put on your own. 

You’ll be perfectly fine getting back by yourself, everywhere is lit well enough to make the 5 minute walk back feel safe. And you could certainly use the time to clear your head. 

So you just smirk, wrapping your coat around you and downing the last of your white wine. And you grin, “I'll see you all hungover for breakfast in the morning.”

They all laugh at your little joke, knowing it’ll more than likely come to fruition, before they pull you into hugs goodbye. Flo, you realise, gives the best hugs out in the group, and she holds you tightly as she whispers in your ear, “Are you sure?”

You don’t hesitate to nod, “Positive.” 

She pouts a little as you pull away from the hug but you give her a kiss on the cheek and tell her to have another drink for you which makes her giggle and she promises she will. And then the only person left over here you have to hug is your very drunk best friend, and Katie all but smothers you with her bear hug. 

God you adore your best friend so much. Or you do until she easily reads between the lines and questions your actions. 

“This isn’t to do with Alex, is it?” She asks, pouting like she’s both angry and upset, “Because you can’t let him spoil your fun.”

You hate that she knows you so well, but wanting to go back to your hotel room is only marginally to do with Alex at this point. You know if you drank anymore tonight you’d be worse for wear tomorrow and you don’t want to ruin this precious holiday by staying in your room wanting to throw up. 

“No, I'm just tired.” You lie, trying not to even think about the fact that Alex not really giving you any attention and flirting with another girl was what triggered your bad mood in the first place. You tell her, “I just wanna get some sleep.”

“Okay queen.” Katie nods before she pulls back and she looks into your eyes to seriously tell you, “Text me as soon as you get back to the hotel, okay?”

“I will.” You promise her and after she gives you another hug, you turn to leave. 

You avoid looking anywhere near the bar even though you have to pass it to leave, but you’re quick and you leave out of the side doors and make it down the stairs fairly quickly. The automatic doors expose you to the cold air quickly and you’re so thankful you chose your long, navy dress this evening, even if you were regretting the slit in it that comes up to just above your knee when the wind hits you.  

Thankfully, your ‘going out coat’ is a long one, coming down to just past your knees, and would retain most of your body heat, so as you walk towards the doors you start to slowly button it up. But your buttons aren’t cooperating, they won't go through the bloody buttonhole. Clearly nothing wants to go right for you this evening.

And you end up not paying attention to where you’re going as you walk out of the bar, you don’t realise that the smoking areas out front has gotten busier so you end up turning to head back to your hotel and you bump into someone at quite a little bit of force. Immediately, you end up almost slipping too, not realising that the ground has become slippy too thanks to the fresh snow landing and melting. But before you fall arse over tit, you're saved by your own victim. The poor man you bumped into.  

“Oh god, I’m so sorry.” You say as you grab onto his tattooed arm that stabled you. 

And it’s only when you’re sure you’re steady on your feet do you look at the exquisite man. A gasp almost leaves your mouth at just how attractive he is. The strong jawline, the short black hair, the sun kissed skin, and possibly the most stunning eyes you’ve ever seen in your entire life. They are such a gorgeous shade of blue they almost look purple, and God, you half wish you could stare into them all night.  

“No worries,” The man holding your arm says, and once he’s satisfied you can stand properly again, his eyes drop to take you in. 

It makes you feel like your heart is in your throat for the two seconds he checks you out, but under the stare of those gorgeous eyes, it feels like it lasts an age. You can’t help watching as a small smirk forms on his lips, clearly pleased with what he sees and when his eyes meet yours again, you feel like your knees could fall from under you again if he wasn’t still holding you up. He’s dream worthy.

His fingers move down your wrist and he gently comes to squeeze your hand as he smirks but endearingly says, “Careful darling.” 

Immediately, the pet name makes you flush, and under his gaze you feel like you’re vibrating somehow, and you realise just how badly you need to get yourself back to your hotel. So to not make a fool out of yourself again, you cut the situation short.

“Thank you.” You give him a gracious smile and a small nod of your head before turning towards your hotel and safely begin to rush off. 

In your peripherals, you see the two other men that the stunning man was accompanied by and you’re glad you didn’t interact with them too, because they look just as attractive as their friend. You’d surely crumble under their gazes and start awkwardly chatting their ears off so you’re pleased to get away from both them and that bar. 

At least this gives your drunk mind a quick distraction from wondering what Alex and that girl are currently up to. You try not to think about how cosy they might have got or if either of them have made a move. No, you’d rather think about your embarrassing encounter with a model worthy guy who then checked you out and you said thank you to him. 

Thank you? God, you’re so fucking stupid for saying thank you Y/N/N, that doesn’t even make sense. Thank you for me bumping into you and being so kind about it? What was the thank you for? Silly bitch. 

God you really need to get to sleep. Your brain is absolutely spinning. 

Instead you find yourself focussing on the crunch of snow under your boots, how you can see your breath in front of you. And the gentle light coming from the lampposts illuminates the snow that’s slowly falling from the sky and you can’t help but think that it’s so beautiful despite it being so cold. 

Finally you manage to do up the buttons of your coat and your hands are stuffed in your pockets as you carry on walking. But it’s only a few seconds later, you hear your name being shouted behind you. You think you’re hearing things so you don’t stop walking, but then you hear someone running behind you and a gentle call of, “Sweet.” As he begins to slow down. 

Alex is out of breath by the time he’s beside you, and a gentle hand on your arm stops you from walking. A mixture of emotions runs through you in that moment, happy that he’s not with that girl anymore is certainly one of them, but annoyance at him for him even flirting with someone else hits you all over again. 

And it just makes your mood worse, because you absolutely despise being jealous. You hate it. You hate the tightness in your chest and you hate the way you start to second guess everything. And you don’t think you should be second guessing if you’re good enough.  

But you keep all of that to yourself, not wanting to annoy Alex or appear jealous or be overbearing. You’re just drunk and you need to get over yourself. 

“Sweet.” Alex says a little out of breath, “What’s wrong?”

“Absolutely nothing.” You say more flatly than you meant to and turn to carry on walking to the hotel. 

You’d scorn yourself for it, but you’re glad Alex doesn’t pick up on your tone. He just follows after you, falling into step as he asks, “Why are you leaving so early?”

“It’s almost one Alex,” You tell him, “I’m tired.”

You’re certainly not telling him that he’s a part of the reason you’re leaving. Even if he has finally given someone else the time of day for a brief minute tonight.  

Trying not to focus on the mixed emotions cursing through you, you end up telling the singer, “You don’t have to walk me back, go back to the bar.”

“And let you walk back on your own at one in the morning?” Alex frowns down at you,  “I don’t think so.”

You shake your head slightly at that, knowing he’s just doing that because of the story you told him about how you don’t like to walk alone at night. But you don’t want him here solely because of that. “I don’t need your pity.”

“There’s no pity, I’m just not a dickhead, sweet.” Alex’s smile then turns into a smirk as he throws his arm around your shoulders and he pulls you against him, “Now let me keep you warm.”

Your chest feels lighter somehow at his actions, and it makes you feel all gooey and smiley inside. But your brain is telling you to keep a hard exterior after what you witnessed tonight, so you try and brush him off, “Al, I’m fine.”

But the singer is having none of it. He just holds you tighter teases, “You’re moody.” 

“I’m tired.” You correct him, even though you’re lying through your teeth. 

“With your little rule, I thought you would have been reserving more energy.” Alex smirks, not being able to pass on the opportunity to torture you that little bit more. 

You don’t mute your scoff at that, and decide that silence is what he deserves after that comment and him flirting with someone else all evening. And it hits you all over again how up until a few months ago you’d only get silence and sneers from him, but that woman at the bar instantly got smiles and flirting. It makes you want to push his arm off your shoulder and you fall silent again. 

It’s confusing. Wanting to scold him but then also lean into him and accept the joy the simple pleasure of him hugging you brings you. And you’re feeling it all at once. You don’t understand it and don’t really know how to process it. 

Sleep. You need sleep. 

With his free hand, Alex digs into his coat pocket and pulls out his gloves, noticing you’re shivering, “Here take these.” 

“Thank you.” You accept them quietly and graciously and don’t waste much time putting them on, even if they are too big for you. 

Alex smiles once you have them on, and he squeezes your shoulder that bit tighter as he grins, “They suit you.” 

“Bit big, but I'll take it.” You shrug a little, and give him a bit of a smile so you don’t look like a colossal bitch. It was a kind gesture after all. 

Alex grins back down, his eyes bright as he says with a knowing look, “Well, you know what they say about big hands, sweet.”

Holding your own smile back, you fake a roll of your eyes and look away from him, “You’re not funny.”

“What?” Alex asks, faking innocence but smirking, “Just big gloves, nothing untoward.” 

You share an amused look then, both looking into each other's eyes and knowing for certain that was not what he was meaning. In those few seconds though, you can’t help but notice how gorgeous he looks, with the snow falling down around him, a few flakes having found home in his hair and he just looks so pretty and happy. 

You always want to look at him and see that cheeky smile looking back down at you. It makes you feel all warm inside.  

But then that crude sense of humour has to go and ruin the moment. 

“Anyway,” He smirks, “You already know how big I am. I don't think I need to remind you just yet.”

The way your cheeks heat up immediately is almost as embarrassing as the way your gaze snaps away from his. You just try to act nonchalant about it, shaking your head, “Way to lower the tone.”

“I think it was your dirty mind that lowered the tone, sweet.” Alex laughs and he has you giggling along with him. 

It doesn’t take long to get back to the hotel, and you walk in a comfortable silence with your head finally not filled with everything to do with the bar. You just enjoy having his attention back, and that he keeps pulling you back into him, and rubbing the top of your arm in an effort to keep you warm. 

You expect the singer to walk you into the lobby and bid you goodnight there before he heads back out to your other friends. But he surprises you, stepping into the lift with you and even when you’re going up to your floor he keeps his arm around you like he doesn’t want to let you go.  

“Thank you for walking me back, you really didn’t have to.” You tell him after he walks you to your door and you get your keycard out of your pocket. 

Only when you look at him again does he tell you, “Stop thanking me for being a decent human being.”

You smile at him for a second there, and it is a truly grateful one. Despite everything tonight, you really are thankful he came back with you. If not for your safety, but then at least for your peace of mind about what he was up to when you left. Your chest fills with the hatred of the jealousy you’re feeling once more. 

But it’s like the man looking at you can somehow read your emotions. Because he once again flips them on their head when he takes you in again and sees how gorgeous you look in that navy dress and the way it hugs you. 

He seems a little breathless as he says, “You really do look incredible tonight by the way.” 

You look down at yourself, really not thinking you looked anything more than presentable tonight. But two men have checked you out this evening and seemed pleased with what they saw, and you know Alex well enough now to know that he doesn’t just say these things, he actually means them. 

“I- Thank you.” You stumble for a second, but gladly take the compliment. 

As you turn to open your door, Alex takes a step towards his, which makes you frown. He’s going to bed?

“You can go back out, you know?” You say before he even takes another step. 

You don’t really understand why he’d be going to his room when he could go back out and have a good time with either your friends or the stunning woman he was chatting to. Surely he didn’t just leave because you did?

Alex shrugs, and takes a step back towards you, “Don’t want to.”

“Why?” You can’t help but question, “Looked like you were having a good time.”

“Not that good, I wasn’t spending it with you.” Alex shamelessly flirts as he comes to stand right beside you again, hoping to see you get all flustered. 

He adores being the cause of it, and he even likes when you run your mouth back at him and flirt with him too. It makes him happier than he should admit to himself at this point in your little arrangement. But you shock him completely and don’t do either of those things.

No, instead Alex watches as you tense slightly and you become ridged. The smile falling from your face entirely. 

“You knew where I was.” You shrug, not knowing what more you could have done. It’s not like you could go up to him and demand his attention, or steal him away and he figures out why and he teases you for it.  

You just turn back towards your door and mumble under your breath as you put the card in, “Besides, it seems that you found her quite interesting.” 

This has Alex smirking, possibly the biggest he ever has. Not that you can see that smirk as you’re still fumbling about with your keycard and putting it in the door the wrong way. So it gives him a little time to compose himself enough that you won’t hate him when he gets you to look at him again. 

You’re jealous. Hence the mood, short replies, and the pout that was just seeping onto your face… It all makes perfect sense now. 

Alex tones his smirk down into a slight grin before he get your attention again, “Sweet?” 

“What?” You ask, just about managing to open your door before you turn back to him. 

And it’s only when you do, you see the way he’s looking at you. His amusement is clear to see, but he doesn’t say anything. He just takes a step close to you, and before you really know it his lips are on yours and he gently eases you backwards until your back is against the heavy door you’ve not opened more than an inch. 

It’s a sweet kiss, full of longing and care and words you’ve both yet to say. And the way he gently holds your waist, pulling you against him now, his arm running inside your coat and around your back so he can press you fully against him as his lips move in sync with yours. His hand on your jaw moves that bit higher, so his thumb can caress your cheek and you think this might be the sweetest kiss you’ve ever shared.

It’s gentle and full of emotion, even when his tongue finds home with yours. It makes the both of you hot despite both of your lips softly moving together. Something about it runs deeper, like he’s trying to tell you something without explicitly coming out with it. 

His hold on your waist gets that bit tighter which has you melting into him. Unable to stop yourself, you also let out a tiny hum of bliss against his lips and you hold his coat in your fist that bit tighter. This is what you’ve been after all night. This is what you’ve been craving. Him and every last bit of him. 

Even when the kiss comes to its natural end, you wish it wasn’t finished. And you’re glad that it doesn’t seem to be. But the man who makes your heart skip a beat says something you really aren’t expecting. 

“I’m only interested in sleeping with you.” Alex tells you, before he leaves you with one last breathless kiss. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: What did you think?!?!? NRIACC bestiesssss!! How was it seeing Wheels again?! She's my multiverse I had to hahaha! But how bloody cute are Sweet and Alex, god I adore them so so much. Until next time besties x

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[nriacc]

is it over now by taylor swift is so alex and wheels coded during the pauline era

“rumors bout my hips and thighs’ , ‘fast forward to 300 takeout coffees later’ , ‘i was hoping that you’d be there and say the one thing ive been wanting but no’ , ‘you dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor’ THE LYRICS JUST FIT A LIL TO WELL…

(ur fic has affected me so much that no matter what song im listening to i always manage to tie it back to wheels)

Omg it really really is. I know I've been saying for years that I'll do it but I swear I really will make the Wheels timeline taylor swift playlist soon. Don't you think Dress is such a good bit for when shes getting ready for her date with Alex? God it makes me emotionallllll! I will make this playlist soon, I need it desperately. Any help/suggestions please keep them coming because I'm not as well versed with taylors older albums as I'd like to be.

I also can't help but this this song fits so well with on the AM tour when Wheels is still hung up on Matty after he's cheated. Because she practically calls Matty a traitor, and hes the one she wanted, and all the rumours about her and Alex on the tour. God theres so many because Say Don't Go fits so good too.

ALSO GIVE ME SLUT FT THE 1975 RIGHT TF NOW BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS SO WHEELS CODED IMMA FUCKING CRY RIOT!!!

(Also I'm glad its not just me that does this because massive same, forever I'm like OH ITS WHEES!)

[nriacc]

'tis the damn season | Part 2

Summary: Christmas has been your favourite season since you met Ross MacDonald back in Year 9 when you had just moved to Wilmslow, coincidentally on the same road as him. He becomes your very best friend for the rest of high school, but when that ends, life happens and you just can't stop it. And life is certainly cruel to you and Ross. Every December is a reminder of it, somehow always bringing a chance to ruin things even more. After so many mistakes, how can you get back the times you've always cherished with the silly boy with the dimpled smile?

Word count: 12.7k

Warnings: the tiniest bit of angst.

A/N: Here it is! I hope this one makes up for that first part lolllll. Will warn you that there's a sprinkle of angst at the beginning though... Don't kill me *runs and hides* Anyway, enjoy!!!!!

Masterlist

Part 1

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“Shit,” you curse under your breath when his words hit you harder than the cold winds of December.

But maybe it’s the realisation that you just know nothing about him anymore that hits you even harder than what he has just said or the cold weather.

Entirely aware of how bad it can look, you pout up at him and add with heavy sorrow for him, “Oh Ross, I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

“S’alright,” Ross says with a shrug like it is nothing.

Your brows furrow, half in worry he’s bottling everything up and half in awe of the way he can cope so well with the situation—you know you could never do it.

After last year’s horrendous holiday break, when you were on your way up to Wilmslow, you had decided on making things right by everyone this year. End 2009 the right way and go into the new year with the joy of grasping onto normalcy back in a place you held dear.

It certainly did help that you have your boyfriend coming back home with you. Not alone anymore, and feeling the deep excitement for him to meet everyone you loved so much in Wilmslow.

That’s why as soon as you had managed to escape your parents and settled everything down in your room, you left your boyfriend to settle down while you ran down the stairs and up the road until you reached Ross’ house.

You certainly hadn’t expected him to turn down your idea of a double date of sorts because he and Katie weren’t together anymore. You thought that when he said he wasn’t sure it could be done, it meant you would have to make a bit more of an effort to get Ross’ friendship back.

You’re deflated by the news, thinking about how sad you are that the gifts you had gotten Katie would not make it to her in the end.

“Who’s he then?” Ross asks with a raise of his brows, bringing you back out from your thoughts.

Your mouth opens as you try to answer, but you stupidly stutter before giving him a vague answer, “Oh, erm, a classmate.”

It isn’t like you’ve come here to dump about your relationship though, and the idea of pouring facts about your boyfriend seems like poor taste after what Ross has just told you. But Ross is kind and you know he’s asking because you obviously were excited for him to meet him if you had come here to suggest going out on a double date.

It is your turn to be kind to him after two years of ruining shit with your stupidity so you let him get out of it by letting him know, “I’ve asked Matty and he said it was fine if I brought him by on Boxing day so I guess you’ll meet him properly then.”

“Right,” he nods first, but when a beat of silence goes by, he adds, “Sure.” His lips are pressed tightly together, the corners of his mouth barely lift up when he tries to fake enthusiasm as he finally adds, “Can’t wait.”

You can’t keep to yourself the shock, or better said, it’s easy for your mum to get what you’ve just found out due to how awful you feel for reminding Ross of his recent breakup, one you had no idea about.

And another thing you’ve got no idea about is that, after you tell your mum how bad you feel about what had just happened, she called Ross’ mum and invited her over for Christmas dinner the following day.

A truly horrible idea that you scold your mum about when she tells you about it the morning of the 25th.

“Mum, what?! How’s it gonna help him to have dinner with us when he’s just broken up with Katie?!”

Of course, your mother is oblivious to what you mean, “He’s gonna have company! All of us together will make him happy!”

Unfortunately, you can’t explain what had happened the past two years, the way you had behaved, and how it seems incredibly unfair to have him have Christmas dinner with you and your boyfriend in the room.

So, to try and fix the mess your mum has unknowingly made, you take it upon yourself to make sure dinner doesn’t end up in a situation like the previous two years.

You keep the pda with your boyfriend to the minimum, make sure to include Ross in every conversation—basically spend most of the time boasting about the guys’ band to your boyfriend—, and keep asking Ross and his parents all about how they’re doing.

Ross is smiling and participating in conversation, which you really appreciate and you relax a bit halfway through dinner when noticing that Ross is doing far better than you had ever done with Katie.

And it’s then that guilt starts creeping back up.

But the thing that you don’t know is that Ross is just good at acting and putting on a smile, because seeing your boyfriend’s hand on your thigh all throughout dinner and the way he takes every opportunity he can to kiss your cheek, is killing him.

Ross gets it then. He gets why it had been so hard for you to keep your feelings to yourself back when you met Katie. Because he can feel that horrendous burn rising up his throat, burning in his chest every glance that he takes at you and sees that the reason for every smile and giggle is the lad beside you.

You have always had a hard time not letting your every thought show on your expression, Ross took the piss about it so often, though he really appreciated it because it meant he always knew what was going through your head.

However, he had the ability to hide everything behind a blank face or a half smile and not be questioned about it.

Exactly like in this very moment when he’s half smiling into his cup of cider as both your parents—as if they hadn’t met him already when they went down to London during summer break—and his parents grill your boyfriend with loads of questions that the poor bloke stutters to answer most of the time.

His fingers clutch the cup tighter every time he hears him call you baby, and he dies a bit more inside when he sees your boyfriend mumble “I love you,” in your ear when you come to his defence after your dad makes a stupid joke about him that has you gasping.

“Love you too,” you reciprocate and give him a quick peck to which everyone coos.

Everyone but Ross.

Ross, who settles you are both even now, who tries washing down the bitter taste of jealousy with more cider until your dad brings out a bottle of whiskey and opens it for everyone to enjoy, and it is then that the bassist starts gulping down the dark alcohol with an ease that your dad jokes about.

What he doesn’t know is that it burns every time Ross takes a gulp back, his throat raw and aching, but the feeling is just strong enough to overcome the horrendous way seeing you this happy and in love makes him feel.

Such an idiot, Ross thinks about himself. He’s an absolute fucking fool.

And then, your mum is calling it’s time for Christmas pictures and when you and your boyfriend go first and the first time your mum presses the shutter is when your boyfriend kisses you under the mistletoe, Ross can’t take it any longer and he excuses himself to walk back home alone.

It isn’t until he has thrown himself on his bed, groaning about how he feels like he’s gonna be sick all over his sheets, that he realises he’s walked out before even getting a picture with you.

Ross falls asleep thinking he needs to make it up to you on Boxing day when you bring your boyfriend over to Matty’s.

“Hope she isn’t too much of a handful,” George jokes when they all fall into easy conversation and banter with your boyfriend.

“She’s a good handful,” your boyfriend jokes, letting his hand fall down to your ass and squeezing it with eager fingers.

You gasp and push him off you while he cackles loudly, the room follows along. A choir of laughter around the place from the lads and their own girlfriends, though the deep rich laughter from Ross is missing.

Your gaze sweeps the room until it falls on him and you give him an apologetic smile. He offers you a tight lip grin and a shake of his head, like he’s trying to say it’s okay.

Nothing really is because with every minute that passes and he sees how well your boyfriend gets along with everyone, Ross dies a little inside. And, in spite of how lovely Boxing day is going, he can’t find himself enjoying the togetherness like he usually does.

An invitation is made for your boyfriend to join you for the gig the band is playing at a pub in Manchester tomorrow night.

Enthusiastically, you both accept and when you go back home, you can’t stop smiling at the prospect of these two sides of your life merging with an ease that makes your heart swell.

You’re early to the gig, since you had convinced your boyfriend to take the chance to go around Manchester before you were due at the pub to see your friends, and you chat with the boys as they set up in a makeshift stage.

At the start of December, their manager Jamie had founded Dirty Hit, a label of his own so he could finally sign the band himself.

You are so unbelievably proud of your boys, tears well up your eyes watching them perform flawlessly on that stage: smiling so hard at Matty’s passion when singing, the funny faces George has always made when playing the drums, the clever riffs Adam managed to play easily and, of course, the suave Ross had when playing that bass.

You, amongst the almost sixty people in that pub, are entranced by them and you sing along the songs you’ve witnessed being written, put together and practised throughout the years.

When they play ‘Robbers’, you can’t help but cry. The memories it brings to you are so overwhelming, your boyfriend ends up hugging you from behind to soothe you as you sing along to the incredible lyrics Matty had somehow come up with at 18, the summer before you went off to university, when everything was alright.

Ross catches a glimpse of you and his heart aches when seeing the tears rolling down your face. The hurt only gets stronger when your boyfriend is the one to wipe them off your cheeks.

He brings his gaze forward again but when he’s unable to clear his thoughts by focusing on a stranger’s face, he lets his head hang and his eyes fall on his fingers playing the strings of his bass.

The same one he had shown off to you the first time you had gone to his house on Boxing day and you stayed there, perched on his bed as you watched him show off his skills on the instrument.

Ross isn’t sure then how much longer he can cope with this, seeing you smitten with somebody else, craving their touch and not his, needing their company and not his.

He’s so relieved when you go back home with your boyfriend after the gig, swiftly getting yourself out of a night of drinks with the guys since you have plans for the next morning that you can’t get out of.

The hangover Ross nurses the following day is entirely worth it for he managed to drown his sorrows with alcohol without being questioned about it, he hid it behind being overly enthusiastic about a new year with a now signed band, the one thing they had been dreaming since they properly formed the band in 2002.

But it doesn’t matter that he had managed to conceal his real feelings and intentions behind drinking that night, for when New Year’s Eve comes around, he’s entirely transparent as he knocks back glass after glass from the moment you arrive at Matty's.

Unlike a year ago, it is time for Ross to get plastered since he’s totally incapable of coping with you being all over your boyfriend now that alcohol is in your system and, since you’ve seen Ross’ reactions for the past few days and you have assumed the bassist is entirely fine with everything, you don’t have to hold back anymore.

For a miraculous change, George is the one to take care of Ross when midnight approaches and he just can’t stay in the room to watch what he knows will happen the second the countdown reaches one.

Ross’ body reacts on its own when he hears the room he’s left erupt in a chorus of “Happy New Year!” and he rushes to the nearest bathroom to be sick when the ruckus of greetings change for one of whistles and teasing, a confirmation that you’re definitely kissing your boyfriend like you had kissed Ross all those years ago.

Hiding away in the bathroom, Ross spends the rest of the night there, sitting against the door and ignoring every knock and attempt of opening it.

He wakes up passed out on the bathroom floor the next morning, wishing he had drunk even more to forget why he had been drinking to begin with. But not even drinking more would’ve helped with him avoiding seeing you and your boyfriend cuddling on one of the settees when he walks out to leave the Healy's house.

When you come knocking on his door later that day, he groggily answers the door. Your goodbye hits him like a gut punch but, despite being sad about seeing you go, he can’t help being a little relieved his chest doesn’t have to ache to the sight of you in love anymore.

At least not until next Christmas.

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Around May of 2010 you graduated university.

That nightmare was finally over and the only good thing that had come out of it other than your degree, and the fact that you managed to land a job before graduating, was that you weren’t alone anymore.

Your mum and dad went down to London for the ceremony and it brought tears to your eyes to see them in the crowd as you walked onto the stage to get your diploma. Loads of pictures had been taken and though you felt elated, overflowing with joy, it wasn’t until you finally had time to check your phone and see the messages your friends from back home had sent you that you felt complete.

Adam’s message had made you coo and tear up, whilst George and Matty’s messages made you laugh like an idiot. Ross’ message had made you smile nostalgically, a tear slipping down your cheek when you had read it again.

Cannot believe you’re graduating today, sweetheart. So incredibly proud of you :)) You were always the smartest one of us after all. Hope you’re having the best time celebrating yourself today, you’re fucking brilliant Y/N/N. Love you lots, see you soon I hope xx

Truth was, your parents had invited him along but he had declined, excusing it on work and something band related that your mum and dad didn’t ask too much about. Still, they were sad they couldn’t surprise you with Ross’ presence on such a big day.

Ross had really regretted his decision when you posted a bunch of pictures of your graduation day to your Facebook page. Though, the ones where your boyfriend was right next to you reminded him just why he had said no.

He was a coward, he wouldn’t deny it if he were to be called out for it but he was doing it for the best of the situation, for the best of your friendship—or at least to the bits of it that still lingered to which he was holding onto tightly.

Because somehow, despite how the last Christmas time had turned out for himself, Ross found himself holding onto the hope that everything would be alright this year when you came back home for the holidays. And there was a little annoying voice inside his head that laughed at himself for it, but he was holding onto you desperately, like water in his hands, hoping you wouldn’t slip fully through his fingers.

So he had held on and on, day after day, onto that hope until December was around the corner and when a text of yours came through to the group chat you had with the guys, that hope plummeted down and shattered on the floor.

Guys I’ll be spending the holidays in London so please don’t worry about a present for me this year. I promise I will make this up to you very soon!! Miss yous so much and love yous even more!! xx

The first feeling that shows is sadness. Ross frowns, reading your message over and over, his heart sinking and settling on the pits of his stomach as despair overcomes him. He really had spoiled the only chance he would get this year of seeing you, just because he hadn’t really wanted to see you with your boyfriend again.

But now, all he can think is that he’s willing to endure that horrendous jealousy and anguish just to see you again. And he’s especially desperate because it's Christmas! It’s your time of the year, your and Ross’ time, or at least that’s what it had always been until 2007.

Ross wants to pull his hair out of his head then, not only dreading having to spend this season without even seeing you from afar, but just from being reminded of how this will be the fourth year in a row where something has happened and shaken the dynamic you had shared and cherished since 2002.

And then, nosy Matty asks why you’re staying in London because it’s certainly very rude of you to abandon your best friends in the entire world to spend the holidays in the south—that’s exactly what the curly headed boy sends on the group chat.

Which prompts you to answer with a string of laughing emojis and then the truth: you’re spending the holidays with your boyfriend’s family this year.

Reading that message is what turns Ross’ sadness into anger in a split second.

Because you’re breaking the promise you had made before you left for uni, the promise you had swore to never break when Sara, Danielle, and Jodie eventually did.

Hope is gone. A tiny lit flame that has just been blown out and there’s nothing left of it but the string of smoke rising up into the air.

Ross knows this is it then, the end of it all.

He could’ve never predicted it would take eight years to lose you entirely, and he sort of wishes he could warn his past self so he could shield himself from anything he could develop for you when you first met.

He chucks his phone somewhere on his bed, fully ignoring any other messages coming into the group chat afterwards.

Nothing mattered anymore.

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It certainly is a shock to see you walking out of the house when Ross is walking back to his from the shops.

Matty had sent him out to buy decorations for the New Year’s Eve party because, suddenly, he decides the party needs to be a proper one with decorations and props and cone hats and silly 2012 shaped glasses that definitely don’t look feasible to look through.

So he’s toying with the frame of one of the glasses, thinking about how quickly 2011 has gone by, when he sees you walking out of your house with a skip in your step.

Since there was no message on the group chat, he didn’t really know if you were coming back home or not.

Not that he cared.

At least, that’s what Ross had been telling himself.

But it’s clear he indeed cared because when your eyes fall on him and a gorgeous smile breaks on your face, there’s a hint of relief that floods his system.

“Ross! Hey!” You are wary of the distance that’s there between you, not only physically because he’s still yet to cross the road towards you but also emotionally because you two haven’t spoken at all in the entirety of the year.

Well, you had if the short birthday messages you sent the other counted.

“Hi, Y/N. Y’alright?” he finally asks when he crosses the road and stands just a few metres away from you.

You nod, “Amazing. You?”

“Pretty good.”

You hum because he doesn’t sound so sure about it. Your eyes fall on the bag in his hand, catching the look of the New Year’s themed goods.

“Those look nice. Matty’s decorating this year?”

Ross chuckles softly, “Yes, apparently the party needs to be proper from now on.”

You snort at that and roll your eyes at the image of Matty saying that in your head. He was so annoying, you truly adored him. “Ha, right. Well, I’ll see you then!”

Wow what a good lengthy chat, Ross thought sarcastically. Still, he didn’t let how that made him feel show. With a soft smile, he nods and says, “See ya’,” before resuming his walk and making it back home.

He makes a great effort not to look down the road to see where you’re heading. That quick, awkward chat is enough to know where you stand and in what state your friendship is. Gone.

Ross comes to terms with the fact that it just will never be the same. It’s all gone: you, the holidays you’ve grown to love, all the traditions that only entailed the two of you.

It hurts his chest and he wonders if it hurts yours as well.

He doesn’t even see you the day after, on the 25th. There’s nothing delivered to his house—your mum had done it the year before, but the lack of it this year meant the official loss of that tradition—and since your boyfriend and his family are over at yours, or so Ross’ mum told him, the MacDonalds leave your family to it and don’t interrupt by sending anything over to your house.

The next time Ross sees you is at Matty’s on Boxing day, which goes as smoothly as it can. It’s only refreshing to have the rest of the boys there along with their girlfriends, and little Louis Healy is a funny distraction from the turmoil that clouds Ross’ brain when in the same room as you and your boyfriend.

When New Year’s Eve comes, alcohol makes for that miraculous distraction instead, but this time he’s more careful about it. Not blacking out but, instead, numbing himself with every drink until the countdown happens and seeing you and your boyfriend sharing a passionate kiss doesn’t make him want to run into oncoming traffic.

You leave on the 3rd of January this time, giving your boyfriend’s family and your own time to enjoy the start of the year together.

This time, when Ross answers the front door after hearing incessant knocking and he sees you standing there with a soft smile and a goodbye on the tip of your tongue, saying goodbye back feels more significant.

As he says goodbye, still half hiding behind the door, it feels like he’s bidding farewell to your friendship and all you two ever were.

What you never had been.

Ross wonders then if things would’ve been different if he had done something about the two of you when he kissed you under the mistletoe in 2006, how you two could be in such a different place if he had made a move after kissing you when the clock struck midnight at the very start of 2007.

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The first week of August 2012, the first official music project by the band came out. It was a bit odd knowing the boys had an official name now, but The 1975 sounded fucking brilliant—you had assured Matty of it when he sent you a picture of it freshly tattooed below his Mortal Kombat tattoo saying that he had gotten the new name tattooed so he wasn’t allowed to change his mind anymore.

You had gone to the closest HMV to your office and bought the CD, sending a picture of it to the guys on your group chat and gushing over how fucking good it was after you had listened to it four times in one sitting.

And you had gone just as crazy when November rolled around and on the 19th the Sex EP came out. A quick message was sent in the middle of your short lunch break, you’d written it with the biggest smile on your face.

Holy shit guys, that was incredible!!!! I’m so unbelievably proud of yous :’’)) Who would’ve thought you’d go from changing your band name every other month to having two stunning EPs out!!! I need yous to sign my new CD!! Cannot wait to see you brilliant, talented lot on Christmas. Love youuuuu!!! xxxxx

It was odd that after all that time, Ross could still hear your voice in his head saying all that while he read it. Like he just can’t truly let go of you, and a flicker of hope that still lives inside him then becomes obvious, he can’t help but think, maybe, just maybe, you won’t miss Christmas at home this year like he’s been expecting you to all year long.

It felt almost like he had been holding his breath since that notion became apparent in his mind, the anticipation of not really knowing if his hopes were gonna lead him to be disappointed or if he would actually be right.

Ross lets out a sigh of relief when he walks out of his house and he catches a glimpse of you walking in through the front door of your parent’s house with a bag in hand.

He’s not aware of what he’s doing until his quick strides lead him all the way up to your front door and he’s harshly knocking on it.

You’ve barely been able to shout hello to your mum, who’s upstairs, and let your dad take your bag up to your room when you’re startled by the knocking.

Turning around on your heels, it’s merely two steps you take until you can grab the handle and turn it to open the door and show a speechless and surprisingly enthused Ross bundled up in a cosy flannel coat and a beanie, the tip of his nose tinting pink from the cold, and his cheeks matching the shade.

Your eyes widen at the sight of him. You have no idea why he’s just standing here, how on Earth he had managed to know exactly when you would arrive or if he had been expecting you, but you can’t stop the need to feel him closer than this the second you see him.

Basically throwing yourself into him, you gasp and wrap your arms around his waist, his arms coming to envelop you in a hug over your shoulders and you melt into him completely.

“Oh my god. I missed you so much,” you whisper into his ear.

His heart squeezes in his chest, leaving him weak enough to admit, “Me too. So much.”

He knows it’s not time for inquiries but he’s honestly taken aback by the fact that you’re here so his questions leave him without him wanting them to, “Are you okay? How’s London treating you? How’s your boyfriend, is he spending it here again?”

Those are heavy questions, lots to explain that just leave you without a word to utter. Except for the last question. That situation’s status was clear enough that you pull back and take a deep breath to be able to answer through the pain of thinking about it, “No. Ermm, we broke up.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t–,” Ross starts apologising but when he sees your chin start to wobble and tears filling your eyes, he pulls you back into him as he says, “Don’t cry, C’mere.”

“It’s all my fault,” you can’t help but admit. Not really about the breakup, that was certainly not your fault if you looked at the bigger picture, but the horrendous pain that fills you when you think about how your attempts to fill the emptiness from being away from home had crumbled down and left you feeling even lonelier than ever. You shake with a sob in Ross’ arms and admit, finally, “I hid so much from you guys.”

The confusion in his breathy, “What?” is clear and you know this is the right moment to just come clean about everything, before this opportunity leaves you like a train does a station.

“Do you…” you sniffle as you pull back to look at him.

God, you must look like a mess and a right idiot. Ross thinks that despite how his heart is breaking seeing you this upset, he’s never seen a person more beautiful.

“Do you wanna come in?” you suggest, thumb pointing behind you into a house he hasn’t stepped foot inside since Christmas day 2009, 3 years ago. “I feel like I owe you a lot of truths.”

Carefully, he nods and that’s when you put your hand out for him to hold and walk into the house.

Electricity runs to his fingertips where he holds you, painfully aware of how your absence has made your proximity now erupt a wave of feelings inside him that he had thought were gone.

Once he’s inside the house, you close the door. He expects you to guide him to the living room but, to his surprise, you take him up the stairs and into your room.

Even your dad is surprised to see Ross in the house after all this time for he stops in his tracks when he sees the now very tall lad walking hand in hand with you on the way to your room, which he’s leaving after leaving your bag neatly on top of your bed.

“Oh hello, Ross. Missed seeing you around here, kid.”

Ross smiles but before he can respond to your dad’s greeting, you speak out, “Thanks for helping me with the bag dad. I’m gonna chat with Ross for a bit if you don’t mind.”

Your dad notices the tears in your eyes then, with the slight waver of your voice so he knows this is a serious matter and he nods, giving you both a smile before walking past you into his room where your mum’s still hiding. She must be really entertained with what she’s doing since she hasn’t run to your room to crush you in a hug like she always does, but you won’t complain right now because it seems like everything is about to spill out of your mouth.

Closing your room’s door behind you, Ross makes his way into your room when you drop his hand. He sits at the edge of your bed and you do the same, looking into his eyes for a second before letting your gaze drop to your lap, where you fiddle with your fingers nervously.

A sigh leaves you.

This is it then.

Looking back up at him, you take in his worried expression and start telling him everything. How you knew university would be hard from the very second you moved into your dorm. How you had been so horribly homesick, you got depressed and had to talk to a therapist on campus for quite a while. The amount of times you had thought of dropping out throughout the first year, but had refused to come back home empty handed and regretting giving up when you have always been academically driven.

And how, despite your efforts, the second year had been just as bad.

You couldn’t make friends but not by lack of trying, it was harsher in uni to find people you felt in tune with when everyone was so focused on themselves and the groups established there were far more stronger than in high school; so many people knew each other from school already, it felt like trying to be friends with them was causing a disturbance to their friendships.

And then you came back to London from Wilmslow, that time Ross had told you to go back and you had left right after the gift exchange at Matty’s, and you met this guy. He gave you just the amount of attention and kindness to lure you in and grow attached to him after craving proper human connection for so long.

He had become your boyfriend easily, because he gave you attention and made you feel needed, despite both of those notions having meant in a sexual way more times than not.

It wasn’t the best relationship and you knew that, but you would take anything, even if faulty, just to not feel alone like you had the two previous years again.

So you made due with what you had and fell in love with him, though you knew he didn’t feel the same as you did, and if he ever did say it was just because he wanted to keep you. For convenience really, because if he said he wanted you, you would drop anything for him, even if you didn’t want to say yes, you did because you feared being left alone.

And then he realised he could make you stay by reminding you how badly you had been going through it before he appeared into your life, and now you could point out how emotionally manipulative he had been, but right then, it had gone right past your head.

That was why it had been so easy for him to cheat before you two graduated, and it had been even easier for him to get you to forgive him. He would say you wouldn’t survive without him, without his love, without his presence in your life; he reminded you just how far away everyone was, how you had lied and kept things to yourself so no one worried and how selfish of you it would be to call and talk about yourself and your issues which you could resolve easily, just by forgiving him and taking him back.

So like a brainless fool, you did.

And then you graduated and you moved in with him, and though you had a job of your own, he convinced you to do everything for him. His kisses, the sex, the cuddles, him making time for you, it all was your reward. Showing you affection had become a reward for you keeping the flat clean, cooking meals and paying half the rent, it had become something to exchange for your efforts rather than something that came with a loving relationship.

You knew he had cheated at least twice after that first time but kept quiet. You knew, but the only thing you could do was ask him to wear a condom every time you fucked, just because that was the last bit of love and concern you had for yourself.

That was until a few weeks before your birthday, when you got off work early because you were feeling a bit poorly and the feverish, dizzy feeling that overcame you was enough for your boss to send you home immediately.

It had been nothing compared to the feeling that washed over you when you quietly came into the flat and walked blindly down the hall to your bedroom, only to find your boyfriend balls deep in some girl.

Your horrified gasp and confused mumbling wasn’t enough for him to stop, instead he kicked you out of the room and you left running back to the living room where you stood almost dry heaving as you replayed the moment over and over again, wanting to be sick but not being brave enough to walk up to the bathroom with how close to the bedroom it was.

Still, he took a fair few minutes to come out of the bedroom and face you. From what you heard, you knew he hadn’t even taken the consideration to stop and had chosen to finish before he could even begin to explain what was going on.

Not that it needed explaining, really.

But it was the absolute lack of remorse in his face when he came out to the living room that brought you out of the hypnosis he had caught you in for so long. The fact that he hissed through his teeth why the fuck you had come home so early. The fact that he sounded more apologetic to the girl than to you, his girlfriend of three and a half years.

And it was the realisation that you would rather feel this hurt because of breaking up with him than because he was trying to convince you that it had been nothing and you could forgive him yet again.

So you did. You broke up with him that very second. Going to the bedroom, which made you feel even more disgustingly nauseous, you quickly packed everything you had there in a big suitcase you had thankfully kept. All that you had in there as best as you could and the rest shoved in a big bag of yours that didn’t fit inside the case.

You had felt more alone than ever, without your boyfriend—ex-boyfriend now—, without any friends because all of your friends had been his first and you knew he would manipulate them enough to make them switch on you the second they found out, without a roof to live under.

But you felt free, oddly, and it was that which drove you to call up one of your co-workers and ask for their help.

Emma was the sweetest and let you stay in her flat for the week and a half it took you to find a place you could rent. You hadn’t been exactly choosy with it, just going off necessity and settling for the better most convenient option, both for your pocket and the proximity to your job.

So you were now living in some shitty flat in a very unsafe area in London, but it was close to the tube station and it was only a thirty minute commute to your office, which you were growing to appreciate.

It was the fact that for the first time in a while you felt like your own person that made you smile on the daily.

And now the fact that you had finally come clean about everything to one of the most important people in your life.

Ross is speechless. He’s lost his breath with every bit that you’ve told him, and yet the way that you fully leave him stupefied and unable to breathe is the smile that you give him when you’re done with your story.

That toothy grin he has missed so much, accompanied with your tear stained cheeks and glassy eyes.

His heart is utterly broken for you, someone so beautiful inside and out being absolutely destroyed and mishandled by people who never appreciated you for who you truly are, stuck in a situation that you kept shut because you’re selfless like that.

Ross feels like his heart had been shattered in a million pieces, but he feels a new wave of heartache when he remembers how cruel and unfair he had been to you when, unbeknownst to him and everyone else, you were going through such a nightmare.

He wants to bang his head against a wall.

But not more than he wants to crush you in a hug and tell you it’ll be alright now.

So he does.

His arms feel heavenly around you, melting into his chest and hiding in his neck comes to you like second nature just how it had always been back then, before everything happened.

You can’t help but cry, and though some of your tears come from the ache in your chest, most of them are spilled because you feel relieved that you can shed yourself of the weight of everything that you’ve been keeping to yourself, relieved that you can mend things back home and you can try and get back those friendships you have always cherished.

Ross doesn’t let you go, not when you calm yourself down and stop crying, not when you yawn and rub your tired eyes, not when it starts getting dark out.

He’s hesitant to let you go when you go to move your bag out of your bed so you can lay down. But he follows when you pat the spot next to yours on the mattress.

His arms wrap around you and he pulls you closer to him. You two haven’t done this in so long, it’s hard to even point out when was the last time you cuddled, but your legs tangle with an ease that makes your heartbeats stutter.

With eyes fluttering as you two succumb to slumber, the last thing you remember before falling asleep is the feeling of Ross’ lips pressing on top of your head.

“I had missed this,” you admit groggily when you wake up to his fingers rubbing circles on your lower back.

The darkness of your room envelopes you like a blanket, pale moonlight sneaking through your blinds to give you the faintest bit of sight.

You can barely make out the dimples on his cheeks as he smiles down at you with a puffy face and sleepy eyes, “I missed you.”

Whole. That’s how you feel when he says that with a warm conviction that melts your insides. You hum, “Yeah. Me too.”

A knock on your door makes the two of you look in the direction of it, and slowly peeling it open, your mum peeks her head through to smile at you.

“Haven’t seen you like that in ages,” she recalls with a coo. “You two are so grown up now.”

You smile just by remembering the pictures your mum would take of the two of you cuddling on the settee after falling asleep watching a film. The nostalgia makes you wish she would take a picture right now just so you could compare it to them.

“Sorry to interrupt darlings, you two look cosy, but could you do me a favour?”

That’s how you end up at the shops with Ross, giggling as you walk through the aisles trying to find the things your mum had forgotten to get on her last shopping trip for tomorrow’s dinner.

It’s hard not to get distracted when you walk around, seeing all the Christmas sweets and treats, even harder when Ross makes you laugh as you go about the place and you keep forgetting what it is that you’re looking for.

“Hey, you better not forget these,” he jokes, grabbing a bag of potatoes that he ends up placing in your basket.

It’s hard hugging Ross goodbye after you come back from the shops and put everything away together, but it makes you so incredibly happy to know that it feels normal again—your arms around each other feel like finding your way back home after getting lost on the way.

You go to bed feeling content, the smell of him lingers on your pillows and you nuzzle your face on them with a loopy smile on your face.

It is when you wake up and go downstairs for breakfast that you properly feel giddy, though, because your mum tells you she called Ross’ mum and they had agreed to have Christmas dinner together.

A loud kiss is smacked on your mum’s cheek at the news and she smirks as she looks at your dad when you run to the kitchen to see if you had all the ingredients to make some type of dessert, leaving your coffee to get cold on the dining table.

Having the MacDonalds over is a joy, as per usual, with Ross’ mum being the loveliest person ever and Ross’ dad making you all laugh hysterically, dinner goes wonderfully.

Everything’s tasty, warm in your bellies and your hearts with the hours you all spend together. Nothing feels more right than this very moment.

And then your mum springs up her chair and calls, “Time for pictures!”

Just like you’ve known to do since the very first time, you and Ross move to the bottom of the stairs right beneath where your mum always hangs the mistletoe. The sight makes Ross smile brightly, his eyes crinkling at the edges and dimples pinching his cheeks beautifully.

Your mum frowns at her film count on display as she takes the camera close to her face, “I’ve got one in here, so I’ll take the first and then go get another pack of film to take the rest.”

You bite your tongue not to smile too brightly when it reminds you of a certain moment, years ago.

As your mum takes the camera up to her eyes, Ross wraps an arm tightly around your waist, fingers digging on your clothed flesh as he presses you flush to his side. You wrap an arm around his waist and just as you’re about to rest your head on his shoulder to pose for the camera, your heart begs you to do something else.

You turn to look at him and pucker your lips to press them on his cheek. Your mum captures just the moment bliss breaks out on his face, melting his smile into a parted mouth as he exhales a sigh in content at the feeling of your lips on his skin.

The second the whirring of the polaroid printing out sounds, you pull back and he peels his eyes open to look at you with adoration, or so you think from the way his brown eyes gleam as he looks into yours.

You have to separate when your mum walks in between you to run upstairs to get some more film, all the while she’s shaking the just printed picture in her hand.

Suddenly, Ross blinks and he’s back in 2006, when your mum was making a mess upstairs as she looked for a new pack of film and he finally got the courage to cup your face and actually kiss you under the mistletoe like he had been wanting for so long.

It’s a memory that flashes on both your minds in that moment, and it’s written all over your faces.

Your mouth parts in anticipation and he carefully brings up his hands to your face, holding it delicately as he starts leaning in.

It’s stupid, and maybe way too fast on his part but he can’t have you looking all beautiful standing in front of him and under the mistletoe and not kiss you. You’re magnetising and he can’t fight the power you have over him, he’s so entranced he just wants you close.

This time it is different, it feels more intense. Not desperate, because the second your lips meet in the middle, it’s not like you lose control and try to quicken the kiss. It just feels way more intent, it’s deliberate and with so much more meaning now. You have each other back and the pieces of the puzzle fall into place perfectly just like the slotting of your lips together.

You’re the one to deepen the kiss as your tongue pokes out to tease his bottom lip and you lick into his mouth when he parts it to welcome you.

A hum reverberates through his chest when you taste each other, and he swallows a soft moan that you let out at the feeling of his beard brushing against the soft skin of your face as you two move rhythmically in a kiss that leaves you dazed.

When Ross pulls back, your breaths mix as you pant out, lips so close together, noses brushing. He drops one last peck on your lips before saying, “Had to do it properly.”

Your mum’s footsteps echo through the hall as she dashes back downstairs with a new film pack in her camera, ready to snap away.

In the pictures you can clearly see your swollen wet lips, but no one comments on it when your mum lets you two see the results of the quick photoshoot she’s just thrown for the two of you. Heat rushes up to your face, just like Ross'. You almost wanna coo and pinch his cheeks at the sight of him flustered like that.

It’s fair to say you’re both incredibly smiley when you go back to the dining room to share hot chocolate and the cookies you had made earlier. You half regret not making the same ones you had made the year you had met Ross, but it’s all fine when Ross says, “Delicious as always, sweetheart.”

You wanna pounce on his lips when he finally goes back to calling you that again.

There’s no way you can stop your lips from falling into a pout when it’s time for Ross and his parents to go. You almost want to convince them to stay a bit longer but you already had and they’d stayed an additional hour than they’d planned.

Ross’ mum and dad hug you tightly, wishing you a merry Christmas and saying that they hope you like your present, as if you haven’t loved every single one they’ve ever given you throughout the years.

When it’s time for Ross to hug you, he makes it a show of almost crushing your bones as he does so. Swaying in your place, your parents laugh behind you as the two of you cling onto each other like you haven’t done in years.

Neither set of parents have it in them to tease or complain because they’ve missed witnessing it.

But perhaps, the biggest shock of all is that when Ross pulls back after wishing you a merry Christmas, he presses his lips on yours on a sweet chaste kiss that makes the four adults around you loudly gasp and, therefore, make you and Ross become flustered like a pair of kids caught holding hands in the playground.

And just like a kid, Ross peels himself away from you and quickly escapes back home with his parents following behind him, leaving you foolishly stunned and wide eyed.

When the front door finally closes, it is your mum saying, “Finally!” that makes you snap out of your trance.

The loopy smile stays on your face as you open presents, though.

Blindly, you pick up your phone when it rings on your bedside table the next morning. You don’t even read who it is as you answer it so your shock makes you open your eyes wide when you hear Ross’ voice on the other side of the line.

He says he’s been texting you to ask if you wanted to hang out, and truthfully you just wanna sleep in a little longer, but you also wanna have his presence.

Who says you couldn’t have both?

You let him know he can come over, whispering as you tell him to ring you when he’s outside because your house is quiet as your parents still sleep.

He surprises you when he says he’s already at your door.

With your eyes still heavy with sleep, you make it downstairs, still in your pyjamas, and when you open the door, you grab his hand to drag him upstairs and into your room.

There’s not even a chance for him to greet you with a hello when you get back in bed and lift the sheets on the empty side for him to get under them and join you.

Ross doesn’t take more than a few seconds to take off his shoes and shed himself off his coat, getting in your bed and wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you into him and let you cuddle yourself into him.

You basically sleep until your stomach growls as you become hungrier the more you’ve been ignoring it most of the morning, pushing aside your basic human needs to stay a little longer in Ross’ arms.

He brings you the cookies that were left from yesterday in a little plate and a glass of water, at your request, whilst you go to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

When you come back into your room, you shove one cookie into your mouth before starting your gift show and tell.

A warmth spreads through the both of you as you show him the most mundane and unimpressive gifts you’ve gotten, except for the pretty little necklace his parents got you of course, but it makes you laugh how since the last time you had done this, your presents went from an iPod mini, books and pretty dresses, to a pair of fuzzy socks and a set of floral pattern baking utensils.

You finish getting ready after you show him your presents, and he watches your every move attentively from your bed, which he has made very quickly before throwing himself over it again.

He grabs a pillow and places it over his eyes when you go to lift up your pyjama shirt, it’s not like you haven’t changed in front of the other before, but it’s been so long that he feels the need to offer you privacy.

He hears you snort at him as you sort through your wardrobe for a shirt, a jumper and a pair of jeans. And he smiles into the pillow when you mumble, “Silly,” as you finish buttoning your jeans.

“You can look now,” you say as you finish putting your shirt on.

And Ross catches a glimpse of the skin of your stomach when he lowers the pillow back onto the mattress.

He shifts from his side to his front to hide the way you affect him. He would’ve put the pillow on his lap but it would’ve been too obvious. He hopes he has a second to adjust himself without you looking when you’re about to leave.

You offer him the biggest of smiles before turning to look at yourself in the mirror and fixing your hair, putting a bit of makeup on your face to look decent for when you go to exchange gifts with your friends at Matty’s house.

Ross is entirely entranced watching you through the mirror, he can’t stop thinking about how he’s always thought you were pretty. But somehow, with time, you’ve only grown more and more beautiful.

As if that was even possible.

You’re just unreal, truly. He can’t understand the mystery of you. And he doesn’t really need to, all he wishes to do is to witness it.

When you go downstairs, Ross follows behind a bit slower since he stayed hidden behind your door adjusting himself for a few seconds while you went ahead, you shout to your parents that you’ll be going to Ross’ and then Matty’s so you’d probably come back home after tea.

They say, “Alright, have fun!” back and you’re off.

But not before Ross catches your wrist before you can walk away from the bottom of the stairs.

You stumble into his chest and he swiftly cups your jaw, tilting your head in the perfect angle for him to lean in and catch your lips in a soft kiss that steals your breath away. It’s slow and delicate, like he’s taking in the way your lips slot perfectly together, trying to memorise how your mouths move with each other.

You’re speechless when he pulls back, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth before he points upwards, “Mistletoe.”

A scoff slips past your lips. “Didn’t know you were such a rule follower,” you tease. He’s so smooth it makes you want to scream.

He shrugs, “Depends on the rule.”

Despite the fact that you assure Ross’ mum that you’ve had breakfast—Ross snitches on you saying it was just cookies and a glass of water—, you’re fed a healthy amount of leftovers for breakfast the second you walk into the MacDonald’s home.

Only thirty minutes later, you’re upstairs in Ross’ room with a mug of hot chocolate as he shows off the gifts he got this year. Which, again, makes you laugh because it’s yet again more proof about the fact that you’re too old now and all you get is adult gifts.

You can’t help but snort when he shows off the beanie and scarf your parents got him, but ultimately admit he looks adorable all bundled up in the matching cotton set.

He wears the beanie proudly when you both walk up to Matty’s, while you have the scarf wrapped around your neck after you quickly snatched it from his room before leaving his house.

When you get to the Healy residence, it’s enough of a shock to see the two of you arriving at the same time. George is the one to ask with a frown if you had walked up there together and you nod with smiles on your faces.

Matty elbows Adam when he notices your accessories match.

The curly headed boy really tries his best to hide his curiosity but he can only last fifteen minutes into the catch up you’ve all fallen into before he asks, “Where’s your boyfriend?”

It’s a shock when you nonchalantly answer, “Oh, we broke up.”

And even more of a shock when you beam after the words leave your mouth.

Ross smiles just as big, proud of you for being so strong about that situation. No one really knows about it and it shows. Yes, you had been confiding in Matty about your struggles feeling extremely lonely in uni but you had never told him the reality about your boyfriend, knowing damn well how it looked that you got into that relationship because you were so desperate to feel something.

You had so much to tell everyone, but this wasn’t the time. Not yet.

The change in the dynamic between you and Ross is obvious, especially after consecutive years of clear, growing distance in between the two of you. But no one comments on it because they don’t want to disturb the return of a friendship that had been, from the very beginning, the core of the unity of your friend group. Even if the girls aren’t here celebrating with all of you anymore, Ross and you had been the ones to bring all of you together once upon a time, and it’s certainly refreshing for the boys to see that restored.

So when the New Year’s Eve party comes around, the group is a little more rowdy and you and Ross don’t stray far from each other’s side.

It might be because it feels like you’re all back in 2006 when you were still in high school and nothing had changed just yet, that Matty and George cause more and more ruckus. It’s certainly entertaining to watch but when George is stopped by a drunk Hann from doing a frontflip from the top of the stairs, and possibly breaking his bones, Ross pulls you outside for some peace and quiet as it’s really close to midnight.

The cold air makes you shiver and sobers you up a little, but god bless Ross MacDonald for offering you a cigarette then.

You place it between your lips and let him light it up, he struggles a bit with the strong wind but you help him by cupping your hands around the end of the stick.

Taking a long drag, you let the smoke in your lungs start to relax you and bring you the warmth you so desperately want right now.

The mess going on inside is still loud despite Ross closing the door, and suddenly, the memory of that 2006 New Year’s Eve night comes flashing back to the forefront of your mind.

“This is giving me some serious déjà vu,” you say as you hold in the smoke for a few seconds before letting it out upwards.

He knows exactly what you mean, he’s been thinking about it from the second you stepped foot in the house, but he still plays dumb, “Hmmm, really?”

You nod, taking a drag before saying, “Yeah. If I remember correctly, it was 2006 and we had come out to escape a very drunk Matty and George thrashing everything inside so we could have a calm countdown. We were sharing a fag, and the countdown started.”

As if rehearsed, you hear drunk voices loudly starting to countdown from ten inside the house.

Ten, nine, eight…

“And?” Ross pushes you to continue.

Biting your bottom lip, you try your best to hold back from smirking as you casually add, “And I said happy new year.”

He hums, “Not forgetting something?”

“Am I?” you play dumb, holding the cigarette between your fingers as you look at him.

Seven, six, five, four…

He turns to look at you, taking one little step towards you to invade your space, and nods, “I reckon, yeah.”

Your brows furrow and you cock your head to the side as you feign confusion.

“Mind refreshing my memory?”

You don’t have to tell him twice.

He pounces on your lips harshly, and it’s this time that desperation shines through the movement of his mouth on yours. His tongue doesn’t waste a second to slip past your parted lips and he groans when he tastes the tart tobacco on your tongue along with the vodka cranberry you’ve been having all night.

His trimmed beard itches your skin in a way that drives you mad and you can only think about how you would really like to get used to it. Your mind betrays you thinking about how it could feel brushing between your thighs, your arms swing around his neck and your fingers run up his scalp, making him moan into your mouth.

Three, two, one…

Your lungs burn with the lack of oxygen and you pull back, panting, but a smirk doesn’t fail to break on your face and you breathlessly quip, “Ah yes, I remember now.”

Your cheekiness has him groaning again before he dips back for another kiss, his arm wrapped so tightly around your waist that you’re pressed impossibly close to his front, you cling onto him just as passionately and let everything you’re feeling in the moment show through the way your mouth moves along with his.

Revelling in the taste of him, the feel of him.

The two of you tune out the loud drunk voices wishing each other a happy new year on the other side of the door.

“Happy New Year, sweetheart,” he says against your mouth when he pulls back slightly.

Your breaths mix, becoming one as you try to get back oxygen into your lungs. Your nails dig into his scalp, wishing for there to be a way for you to melt into him. You can think of a few ways you can even come close to becoming one with him.

Your pupils are blown when you open your eyes and look into his, “Happy New Year, Ross.”

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The pride that swells your chest every time Ross sends you a picture of a place he and the boys are touring is impossible to explain with words.

You burst into tears every time you talk about your talented boys travelling around the world after the hit their debut album had been. The scolding you got for missing a day of work to go up to Manchester and celebrate their first number one album was definitely worth it, for celebrating their talent and the success they deserved was one of the best fucking days of your life.

After a few months of touring, the boys have finally come back home for the holidays. The 17th of December they played their last gig of the tour in some festival in Virginia, and on the 18th they had come back to their shared flat in Manchester.

So you were up in Manchester too.

“Love, you need to dial it down on the speed,” you tell Ross when you come back into the kitchen after taking your stuff to Ross’ room.

The second you got to the flat, you had been greeted with loads of hugs and kisses from the boys and far too many stories for you to hear in one afternoon. Your bag had been left forgotten by the door where you dropped it when George came running to crush you in a hug that you welcomed gracefully, and then the rest of them followed.

Ross had been quite distracting with the amount of kisses he stole before the guys gagged enough times to have him leave you alone and then they took you to the settee where they sat you down and told you all about the tour.

But then Adam’s girlfriend came over and they went off on a date, George went out to meet his girlfriend at a restaurant, and Matty was off to his parent’s house to visit them and little Louis who had been missing him loads.

That was when Ross finally had you all to himself, and despite the fact that he was itching to get you in his room, he hadn’t been able to say no to baking cookies with you first.

The same cookies you had made him and his family the day he gave you the potatoes back on Christmas day 2002. It just felt right to choose that recipe in particular.

Ross frowns as he looks at the mixer quickly, maybe too quickly, mixing the sugar and butter together, “Why? It’ll be over faster and we can go to my room.”

The smirk on his face makes you chuckle, and you shake your head as you walk up to him. “Oh, you’re awfully confident,” you tut before wrapping your arms around his neck.

He wraps his arms around your waist and dips his head to kiss you but you pull back slightly, he raises his brows in question, “Thought you had missed me.”

“I did,” you assure, your eyes falling to his lips, but you pull back again when he dips down for a kiss once more. You love to tease him you’ve found ever since you got together at the beginning of the year, and so you do, “But I think you missed me more, didn’t you?”

With that voice of yours, it’s impossible for him to deny it. He fights a groan but lets his hands fall slowly down your waist and lower back to your ass and there, he squeezes harshly as he says, “I certainly did.”

You swallow a moan but the hunger in your eyes is clear and a mirror of his, but before you can get too carried away, you let your hands run down his chest and you pat it twice before demanding, “Okay, stop it. Let’s finish this first.”

“Alright, sweetheart,” he agrees easily.

Just because it’s you. It’s hard for him to be stubborn when it’s you.

When the cookies are in the oven, he tries to distract you with those kisses of his that leave you breathless and needy, but you really have to remind yourself of the danger it would entail if you let yourself fall into your boyfriend’s charms and leave the cookies to burn.

It’s only when all three batches of them are out and on the cooling rack, which Ross definitely bought just for the times you came around and wanted to bake, that you and Ross run off to his room and make up for the time you’ve spent apart.

That’s how most of the days that you’re back together go: either tangled in between the sheets, indulging in each other’s touch and letting the devotion you feel for the other translate in your bodies becoming one, or cuddling as you watch film after film—or rewatching the three seasons of Game of Thrones, which he’s certainly obsessed with, and you definitely tease him about how much you fancy Jon Snow as if he doesn’t resemble him.

You go Christmas shopping together but split for an hour in the middle of your afternoon to buy each other your gifts, coming back giggling as you hide your gifts from the other but definitely try to guess what you’ve got as you go back to the flat.

The best time is when you’re all getting ready to go back to Wilmslow, like a big happy family you take up every seat in Matty’s car and it’s a chaotic thirty minute drive that makes your heart swell inside your chest.

The afternoon of the 24th, it is starting to snow outside and you two are cosied up on the settee with a shitty American Christmas film playing in the background as you go through your pictures throughout the years.

“Ross, look at you!” you coo loudly when you find a polaroid of him with a birthday hat on which is dated June 6th 2003. “A baby!”

He grimaces at the look of his long hair, styled to the side of his forehead and brushed down and straight like a cow had licked it, “Ugh, that’s a mess.”

You scoff and chat back, “No, you were so cute,” before going back to pouting over the picture of him.

He hadn’t started growing proper facial hair yet and he looked like a baby after he had shaved the patchy beard he always got back then. Nostalgia hits you as you remember how cute you thought he was back then and you still do. Somehow, your crush on your boyfriend only gets stronger with time.

“‘Were’?” he questions you with a raise of his brows.

You want to laugh at him for sticking to that bit of your words but swallow it to tease, “Yeah, ‘were’.”

A screech leaves you when his fingers come to mercilessly tickle your sides and you thrash around the settee as he comes to hover over you and continue his attack.

It’s a mix of shrieks and cackles and begs for him to stop that fill the room and overpower the sound of Will Ferrell’s voice, the pictures have all spilled on the floor as you kicked your legs and waved your arms around helplessly.

“Baby, stop!” you beg again and this time he listens, leaning in to press a bunch of kisses all over your face before pulling back and helping you sit back up on the settee.

The two of you start gathering the pictures from the floor then and sorting them through the years. But it is then that you notice the gap in between years, when you had been so foolish to ruin things all because of your bitterness.

The sorrowful words leave you as you flip through the handful of pictures from 2006 and the clear difference with only the few from 2007 and then the lack of them from 2008 to 2011. “So many years with no pictures…”

Ross blames it on him though, “I was an idiot.”

But you won’t let him take the blame all on his own, “Oh babe, I was too.”

He smiles sadly at the pictures but when he looks at you, his smile grows wider, “We’ll make up for it.”

His hand brushes your hair behind your ears and you nod, agreeing, “Definitely,” before kissing the palm of his hand softly.

Your boyfriend’s face melts in adoration and his voice drops an octave as he speaks, “I’m never letting you go, you know that right?”

The stupidest smile tugs at the corners of your mouth then before you reply, “I wouldn’t dream of ever leaving.”

Carefully setting the pictures aside, he shuffles closer to you and kisses you soft and sweet. His lips move on your with the same intent that his fingers dig into your cheeks.

Your hands come over his, wanting to keep his touch there, for him to never stop holding you like this and he confirms that he’ll never even think of doing it when he pulls back and mumbles against your lips, “I love you so much, sweetheart.”

The fluttering in your belly and the electricity that buzzes through you never dwindles, no matter how many times you hear him say that.

Nothing’s been easier and felt more natural in your life than saying it back, “Love you so much more, babe.”

You love telling him how much you love him and you love even more seeing his cheeks tint pink when he hears you say it. He always struggles maintaining eye contact after you let it slip past your lips like he can’t help but become putty in your hands when you utter those three words to him.

And you can’t help but giggle at the effect you have on him.

He basically throws himself forward and hides his face in your neck, but he forgets his size and strength for he makes you tumble backwards and fall on the settee with him over you, stealing your breath away.

He doesn’t move when you groan about him crushing you, he only nuzzles in your neck more and you just let it happen. Having him on top of you is your favourite feeling in the world after all, so you just let him melt over you and you even bring your hands up to his head, scratching his head and massaging his scalp. He moans and groans, getting you all flustered in the process.

You can hear his breathing evening out and his heartbeat becoming more regular, so you know he’s about to fall asleep and you smile at the thought of falling asleep like this right now, but the front door opens and your parents walk back into the house with a handful of bags each.

“Did you buy everything mum?” you ask like you have every year since the potato fiasco in 2002.

“Yes,” she calls back with an annoyed sigh like every year.

But you keep taunting her, “Didn’t forget a thing?”

She indulges you as she sing-songs, “Not one.”

You hum, continuing to play with Ross’ hair, “How about the potatoes?”

Ross smirks at your taunting and shakes his head. But then your mum tiredly answers from the kitchen, “They’re here, who do you think I–...”

The trailing off has you and Ross holding your breaths, and then you hear your mum’s loud cursing, “Oh bollocks!”

And the two of you can’t stop the cackles that leave you.

Trying to speak in between laughter is hard and your mum can barely make out your words when you ask, “Did you forget the potatoes?”

“Yeah…”

Tears spill from your eyes as you continue to laugh, “You’ve got something against them I swear, woman.”

“Could you go get some, please?” your mum asks, seeing that there’s still some time left before the shops close down.

You sigh tiredly but actually give in, “Sure.”

Ross leans in and kisses your lips softly and, unfortunately, very briefly.

“Don’t worry. I got it,” he whispers against your mouth, a hint of cockiness in his tone that makes you smirk and play along to what he’s trying to do.

“Will you take some Christmas cookies in exchange for them?” your fingers continue playing with his hair, but you pout to try and play onto the pity you want him to take on you.

He hums like he’s thinking about it but he settles for something else, “Actually, I’ll take a kiss.”

“Just one?” you question with your brows raised.

He gasps like it’s a miracle you’re offering more than one, “Oh well, if you’re feeling generous.”

Your fingers trail down the sides of his face until you can rub circles on his cheeks with your thumbs, “Christmas is all about giving, isn’t it?”

The words echo inside his mind, and he smirks harder knowing what he’s meant to say, “I guess it is.”

A breathy chuckle leaves you, and he steals it by smashing your lips together. Every time he kisses you, you lose track of time and everything around you loses its meaning. You’re completely blinded by him, overcome by his existence, full of everything he has to give you.

Unfortunately, you can’t continue losing yourself in him for your mum shouts from the kitchen, “Oi! Go get the potatoes, you two!”

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N:  This was actually so much fun to plot but a bit tricky to write, so I truly hope you enjoyed the final product!! Kinda wishing I wrote more holiday themed fics now, but I promise I'll try to bring more of them soon, as many as my heart can take lol. I'll take this opportunity to thank you for reading and sending in your reactions, for accompanying me through this crazy year. Love yous so much and I wish you all the happiest new year!!! MWAHHH xxxx

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