#and man the sequel is FABULOUS and i do remember that one because I had to be your eyes for that SKSKSKSK

[picnokinesis]

bro what fics do you recommend and why is it the demons have the phonebox by theplatinthehat

BRO I absolutely recommend The Demons Have the Phonebox by theplatinthehat because that fic is just the BEST, like what more could you want from a fic? Hijinks ensue! Chaos! Drama! Unicorn Frappes in the UK! Donna Noble being iconic! Crowley being his brilliant self! The Bentley! It's the Good Omens/Doctor Who crossover of our DREAMS with a witty title and even wittier dialogue! Neil Gaiman himself quivers in fear of its awesome power and everyone who's watching gomens s2 (unlike me) should go and read it IMMEDIATLEY - oh, what's that? You already read it? Well, did you know that there's a sequel to The Demons Have the Phonebox? Yes, that's right! It's an intergalactic epic of astronomical proportions! It doesn't get better than this, folks, so what are you waiting for? Go check 'em both out right over here:

>>>>The Demons Have the Phonebox<<<<

>>>My Money's on an Intergalactic Cock-Up<<<

Also, did you know that not only does the sequel have INCREDIBLE writing, it also has BEAUTIFUL artwork to go along with it!! And not only THAT, but both fics were betaed by none other than me :) And honestly that fact alone means it's obviously worth reading obviously, so off you all pop!

[foibles-fables]

What's that? Random asks? Don't mind if I do!

How did you hear about Horizon that made you want to play it, and how was that first time?

Howdy hello and HECK YES! I love this question.

So--summer 2020. I'd just come back from a decade-long hiatus from fandom in general, and was starting to learn the new ropes and spaces (this former livejournal clown breaking into discord and twitter, etc.). One night, I was scrolling through my twitter timeline and happened to stumble upon the freshly-posted E3 announcement trailer for HFW. And even though I hadn't really played a narrative video game since the PS2 era, I decided to watch it. And, huh! I remember saying, "Badass freckly redheaded archer...seems relevant to my interests." The graphics were absolutely gorgeous and what little hints of the story were present in that trailer (especially for someone who knew nothing of the narrative background presented so far) were compelling.

So I looked up some info and found out that it was a sequel to a 2017 game. Cool. Filed that away for later, deciding to get a PS5 when they released later that year.

Jump-cut to late December. I managed to get my hands on a PS5, and it was delivered a couple days before Christmas. Which was awesome, because life was not going super well and I needed a heavy-duty distraction. At this point I had kind of pushed Horizon to the backburner and was instead excited to play AC Valhalla as my first game! But when I booted up, I learned that my mother had bought me the disc version as a Christmas gift. I was left with a couple of days to try other stuff out before I could dive in to ACV.

So, I shrugged and downloaded HZD instead. And the rest is kind of history.

Went into it kind of ambivalent and really hoping I would like it. I had tried to play BotW and was completely overwhelmed by the open-world aspects, and not in a pleasant way, and I hoped that wouldn't be the case here. I'd also never really been into a ton of action games before, as most of my old faves were turn-based. The gameplay itself wouldn't be the clincher for me--that would be the story.

WELL, good news is, I was hooked from the prologue. I would equate playing HZD to not just watching a narrative masterwork unfold, but being in the driver's seat of one. Each discovery Aloy and I made was enthralling and exhilarating, and I legitimately could not stop playing. Could not stop exploring. Every side quest, every collectible, every corner of the map (besides the hunting grounds after earning my Suns at the Nora one, SORRY TALANAH). The entirety of "Deep Secrets of the Earth" had me staring into the darkness of my gaming room in a mix of existential horror and pure amazement. I wept at the ending. The HZD cast left an indelible mark on my heart, and it really reminded me of just how powerful game stories can be. Still trapped in hyperfixation hell (affectionate) over it.

The fun didn't stop there, though. By the time I finished the game (I took my time!), it was early February 2021. I feel very lucky to have sauntered in when I did, because it really seems like it was the perfect time to join the fandom. Folks were coming out of hibernation from both 2017 and the 2020 PC release, hyped with excitement and theories for HFW. Within those first months I met some of the most fabulous and now-lifelong friends (and more <3) I've ever had.

Bottom line: after playing HZD, Horizon and the fandom pulled me through a very very very difficult time in my life. I'm eternally grateful to this series and the meaning I derive from it. Especially from the first game--its vibrant narrative, and its absolutely fantastic characters. Lightning in a bottle, man.

And no, I still haven't finished AC Valhalla. lmao.

[abraxos-and-ataraxia]

The Outlaw and the Desert Flower

Part 2

Pairing: Lucien x Elain

Word Count: 7k

Warnings: SMUT

Summary: Wild West Lucien and prairie girl Elain, but this time it’s the smutty sequel

Tagging: @rarephloxes @elucienhasmywholeheart because I know y’all have been waiting patiently!

This one is dedicated to my beta and biggest cowboy Lucien fan @velidewrites who also did the fabulous moodboard 🤠

* * * * *

Elain eyed the horse beside her. At least she got that part right.

Lucien definitely wasn’t a prince. She wasn’t naive enough to think he was a hero out to save her, either. No, Elain thought with a smile, she’d saved him. Lucien would be the first to admit all of the horrible things he’d done, and she wasn’t blind to them. Elain knew he was just as much a criminal as the man she shot in town two weeks before. Well, she amended, perhaps a little better than him. But she found that the shadows in his past didn’t deter her much. She’d seen the kindness within him. Now that she knew about his harsh upbringing, she knew that goodness had to run deep for it to have survived so long.

And besides, any man who tended to her tomato plants with such gentle hands had to be redeemable.

The thought of those hands made her flush. She remembered the way they felt, sliding up her legs beneath her skirts. A few days ago, he’d stopped her before they went back to the cabin. Or maybe she’d stopped him. He’d been all lips and teeth and desire, pulling her impossibly closer because he couldn’t wait another moment. One hand hitched her leg up and around his hip, the other had wrapped tight around her waist. But she’d never forget the way his fingers tripped up her ankle, past her knee to her inner thigh. The way his touch was so hot, it burned. And when he whispered into her mouth, needing to know that she wanted him too, Elain had fallen into him like a well with no end.

Nothing was better than the feeling of Lucien’s long fingers sliding between her legs, over her tender flesh. The way his touch conjured slick heat to coat his hand. The circles he traced on her sensitive nub, firmer with each pass. Elain felt drunk when he’d slipped those wet fingers inside her, drowning in the stretch of unused muscles. The tingling pleasure that erupted over her skin, electricity sparking from the way Lucien strummed her body. He was a musician, and Elain merely an instrument in his capable hands. She’d let him play with her for what felt like hours, until starlight burst across her vision, and she bit down on his lip hard enough to draw blood.

“What are you thinking about?” Lucien’s rumbling voice drew her from the daydream quicker than a bucket of ice water.

Elain turned even more pink, if that was possible. “Nothing,” she stammered, cheeks on fire.

“Your blush says that’s a lie,” he grinned, teeth flashing in his deeply tanned face. When she didn’t answer, merely turning a deeper pink, he laughed. “I believe I’ve corrupted you.”

She turned up her nose with an indignant sniff. “I don’t believe that for a second.”

“Oh, so you’ve daydreamed about other men taking you on the trail, then?”

Elain tried very hard not to let her mind explore that possibility. “Have you gone up a woman’s skirts like that before?” She couldn’t quite bring herself to be any more specific, hoping Lucien would understand her meaning without needing to explain further.

He smirked, a knowing glint in his eye. Oh yes, he understood just fine. “Elain,” he drawled. “How do you think I got so good at it?”

Her breath caught, and despite knowing that Lucien loved her, that he wanted to stay with her, her fists clenched on the reins. “Well then,” she cleared her throat brusquely. “I guess I’ll just have to make you forget about them, won’t I?”

Lucien brought his horse to a halt, reaching out to slow her horse as well. Elain turned to face him, lips pursed with no small amount of jealousy. And a pinch of pride. Lucien just smiled down at her, leaning in to cup her face with one hand. “For you, that won’t be a challenge,” he murmured, pressing his mouth to hers. She sighed into the kiss, sinking into the slow and heady pace. Kissing Lucien was like swallowing whiskey in great big gulps. He went down smooth and easy, settling in the base of her stomach and warming her from the inside out. And he never failed to make her head spin by the end of it.

He pulled away slowly, leaving Elain dazed in the saddle. She blinked at him, a small smile growing. “Kiss me again later,” she said, less a question and more a demand.

“Yes ma’am,” Lucien said, touching his fingers to his hat in a little gesture that set butterflies loose in her belly.

* * * * *

Elain rode into town beside Lucien, still smiling hugely. It still hadn’t sunk in yet, that he was hers. That he wanted to be hers. She looked over at him, unable to keep her eyes away for long. He was so beautiful to her, every inch of him sunkissed and perfect. His fiery hair hung down his back in intricate twists and loops. She smirked a bit—it had only taken a few minutes of pouting before Lucien let her braid it.

Lucien’s question brought her back to reality. “General store first?”

Elain nodded, nudging her horse to the posts to dismount smoothly. She bit back a grin when she caught him watching her. “Like something you see?”

Lucien joined her on the ground. “You’re a quick learner,” he said.

He wasn’t wrong, she thought with a proud smile. Two weeks before, when they returned to the cabin with not one, but three horses, the first thing on Elain’s agenda had been riding lessons. After a day’s practice, Lucien pronounced her a natural. Nesta had begrudgingly agreed to lessons as well. She’d taken a few topples before committing to mastering horseback riding. Starting with wearing pants, to Elain’s surprise.

Elain reached for one of her baskets. They’d brought a fresh supply of tomatoes, picked that morning, hoping to get some additional dry goods. She was determined to haggle better than before, knowing the shop owner would be even more stingy after the gang came through.

Her boots had just hit the steps when she heard hoofbeats. Lucien frowned, squinting against the hot sun to see who was riding into town. Her breath caught, nerves reminding her of the last time she heard horses. But when the figures came into view, she only counted three. Elain loosed a relieved breath, pressing a hand to her chest to sooth her rapid heartbeat. Not the Vanserras, she told herself.

The three horsemen slowed to a trot, and she saw that none of them had red hair. They all wore white hats and silver badges gleamed on their chests. “U.S. Marshals,” Lucien told her quietly.

The little thread of wariness in his tone had Elain shifting closer. “What do they want? They’re not after me, are they,” she asked, whispering frantically. Her fingers flexed, recalling how it felt to fire the pistol at Lucien’s father. She hadn’t registered the act until much later, but now she was painfully aware of the blood on her hands. The marshals didn’t have to look hard to find a murderer—she was standing right in front of them.

“Excuse me,” one of the men called. The trio slowed to a halt in the middle of the road, mere feet away from Elain and Lucien. The one in the middle dipped his head in a short greeting. His violet gaze caught and held on hers. “Can you point us in the direction of the sheriff’s office?”

The two men behind him didn’t bother with politeness, too busy inspecting the buildings lining the road. Their eyes tracked over the old bullet holes, the stains on the floorboards marking where violence had passed through. And then they came to rest on Lucien at her side. Lucien and his vibrant red hair, his pale scar and russet eyes.

Elain stomped down on her sudden jolt of fear, the awareness that Lucien was the one at risk, not her. His was a memorable face. Those ruby locks marked him as a Vanserra, part of the hardened group of criminals that U.S. marshals would love to put behind bars. And they had no clue that he’d left the gang, that he wanted no part of their bloody ways.

And she knew that none of it would matter. In the eyes of the law, Lucien was better off dead.

She pasted on her brightest smile, stepping forward to draw the marshals attention. “It’s right down at the end of the street,” Elain said, pointing at the dusty building. Abandoned, since the man who held the post was dead, and no one was eager to take his place. But she didn’t bother telling them that. The sooner they were gone, the better.

The man smiled, and Elain was suddenly struck by how charming his face was. “Thank you,” he said, tipping his hat to her.

He gathered up the reins to move on, but one of his partners threw out a hand to stop him. “Wait a moment.” The second marshal was broad and muscular, his horse even bigger to accommodate his size. “Ma’am, do you know the identity of the man with you?”

“Yes, of course,” Elain said, scrambling. Did she need to come up with a fake name? “He’s my fiance.” She hoped that would be enough.

The third man dismounted, a frown marring his beautiful features. “I’m afraid you’ve been the victim of a con,” he said, unfolding a piece of paper. When he held it up, the blocky text at the top was unmistakable. “He’s a wanted man—Lucien Vanserra.”

The other two followed close behind, carrying handcuffs and thumbing the revolvers strapped to their hips. “Step away from the woman and put your hands up,” the violet-eyed marshal ordered sharply. “Or we’ll shoot.”

Elain spun to face Lucien, but he didn’t look at her. Instead, he stepped forward, hands extended. “No need, you’ve got me, boys,” he drawled, waiting for them to lock the handcuffs around his wrists. “I won’t even make a fuss.”

* * * * *

“Nesta,” Elain hollered, stumbling as she dismounted the horse. She bolted for the cabin.

Her sister swung open the door, confusion etched onto her face. “What on earth?”

“They arrested Lucien,” she gasped out, skidding to a halt. “Marshals. Three of them. They rode into town and arrested him, and he let them do it,” Elain said, fighting a sob.

“Good,” Nesta said, mouth pursed. “If he got you into trouble, I would have killed him.”

Elain threw her hands in the air. “Are you even listening?”

“Yes, I’m hearing that Lucien sacrificed himself to keep you safe from a bunch of hamfisted lawmen. As he should.”

“We have to help him,” Elain determined.

“No,” Nesta said, holding her hands out. “We absolutely do not. He is a criminal, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“He’s our family.”

“He most definitely is not.”

“He asked me to marry him,” Elain said, eyes hot.

“I know he did,” Nesta snapped. “He asked for my permission.”

That made Elain stop, blinking. “He did?”

“He did,” Nesta told her, moving forward a few steps. Her sister reached out, twining their hands together the way they’d done as young girls. “On the condition that he keeps you safe at all costs.” Nesta clenched her jaw, looking down and away. “I can’t lose you, too, Elain,” she whispered.

Elain’s face crumpled, and then she threw her arms around Nesta. Her defender through so many things. And yet. “He makes me so happy,” she breathed into Nesta’s shoulder. “I don’t know how to leave him behind. I can’t.”

Nesta’s wrapped her in a steely embrace. “Well then,” she said brusquely, as though she wasn’t clinging to Elain with all her strength. “I suppose we’ll need a good plan.”

Elain laughed wetly, swiping at the tears clinging to her lashes. “If anyone can outsmart three strapping lawmen, it’s you.”

“Elain,” her sister said, pulling back to glare in mock outrage. “You’re engaged, and not supposed to notice those strapping men,” Nesta teased.

“Maybe I was just noticing them on your behalf,” Elain said, grinning.

Nesta made a face, but it quickly turned contemplative. “Strapping,” she muttered. “How old are they? What do they look like? How did they act?”

“Are you really interested?” Elain blinked, surprised at the quick turnaround.

Nesta released her to pace back and forth in front of the cabin. “No, no, I’m thinking. Tell me everything you can remember,” she demanded.

“Well, um,” Elain stuttered. “There were three of them, all perhaps a few years older than us? They didn’t look very old,” she said, thinking back. “Dark hair, muscled, comfortable reaching for their weapons. They weren’t aggressive, but definitely authoritative.”

“That’s the badges talking,” Nesta snorted. “Did they flirt with you?”

“Nesta,” Elain said, blushing furiously.

“So that’s a yes,” Nesta nodded. “Good. We know they can be seduced then.”

“Nesta!”

“Elain,” Nesta mocked. “We use the weapons at our disposal. If that means I have to tug my blouse down further than I’d like, so be it.”

“Only one of them was…flirting,” Elain admitted. “But the others…I think they were probably looking.”

“Excellent,” Nesta said, her smile sharp. She turned around, marching to the cabin door. “I’ll need you to lace up my corset. And make it tight. I’ll need every advantage if I’m going to be a good distraction.”

* * * * *

Two of the marshals were sitting on the steps outside the sheriff’s office, but they rose to their feet when Elain and Nesta approached. The one with violet eyes stepped forward, “Help you?”

Elain eyed him, the firm stance, the way his scruffy partner was happy to let him take the lead. This was the man to convince, then, she decided. The others would follow. “I’m sorry to bother you,” she said, coaxing a blush to her cheeks.

The marshal smiled at her, relaxing slightly. “A pretty lady like yourself is no trouble at all,” he said, eyes glittering with interest. “Forgive my manners. I’m Marshal Rhysand. And you are?”

Nesta sneered at him. “Why do you ask? Are we also under arrest?”

Marshal Rhysand blinked in surprise. “Well, no—”

“Then you don’t need to know,” Nesta said firmly, punctuating her statement with a glare.

Before the two men could do more than frown, Elain jumped in. “I’m sorry, but,” she trailed off, waiting until she had their attention. Elain twisted her fingers, looking down at her feet. “You said that…Lucien is a criminal.”

The scruffy man snorted. “He’s one of the worst creatures out here,” he said, spitting into the dirt. “He’s a murderer and a—”

“Cass,” Rhysand barked, cutting him off. Then he turned to Elain with a crooked smile. “What Cassian means to say,” he said, gentling his tone. “Is that you were very lucky. He’s a bad man, and we’re all relieved nothing untoward happened to you.”

“We are quite capable of taking care of ourselves,” Nesta said, lifting her chin.

The bearded one—Marshal Cassian—smirked at her. “Now that we’re in town, you don’t have to,” he said, but it was so patronizing, even Elain bristled a bit.

“And when you’re gone,” Elain butted in, unable to help herself. “What then?”

Rhysand turned to give his partner an accusing look. “Yeah, what then,” he said, mocking.

“You’ll call for help, of course,” Cassian backtracked.

Nesta snorted. “Men who arrive two weeks after the fact? I don’t think so.” She stalked over to the horses, sliding her rifle out of its holster. “I prefer to deal with things myself,” she sneered at the two men.

Cassian whistled, watching as Nesta maneuvered the long weapon with ease. “You sure you can handle such a big gun?”

Nesta stopped, turning to regard the marshal with a predatory stare. “I can handle yours, too.”

But the bulky man just grinned like a wolf. “I’d like to see you try, sweetheart.”

Elain looked back at Rhysand, ignoring the bickering that erupted behind her. “About Lucien,” she started. “I know he’s done horrible things, but I’m just having so much trouble…understanding.” She tucked her hands into fists, digging her nails in hard. The result was a sheen of tears, sparkling drops catching on her lashes as she beseeched the marshal. “Is there any way I can see him? Just once? To ask him why he fooled me?”

Rhysand looked like he wanted to argue, but the sudden sound of a rifle firing made them jump. They found Nesta aiming at a low fence lined with aluminum cans, Cassian beside her. She handed the weapon to the marshal, allowing him to take the next shot. A competition, then. Elain admired her sister’s quick thinking. The noise would only add to the distraction.

Clearing his throat, Rhysand fixed her with a sharp look. “Are you sure about this?”

She nodded, curls bouncing around her head. “I need to know,” Elain said. “I need to move on from all of this.”

He frowned, but eventually gave her a nod. “Alright, then. Go on in. Azriel is inside with him. You can tell him I sent you.”

Another shot fired behind them, and she babbled a quick thank you, not wanting to waste time. Nesta couldn’t keep the marshals distracted forever. Then barked insults reached her ears, and a flurry of curses from a deep male voice. Elain rushed inside the sheriff’s office before she found herself in the middle of a shootout. She only hoped Nesta didn’t draw blood.

The sheriff’s office was small—a single room with a cell in the back corner. The furniture was limited to a desk and a single chair behind it, currently occupied by the third marshal. “I’m sorry, but you really shouldn’t be in here,” Azriel said, rounding the desk to block her path.

It was an effort to ignore Lucien in the cell behind him, but Elain kept her gaze pinned on Azriel’s face. “Marshal Rhysand said it would be alright, just to speak with him,” she said. “I promise I won’t be long.”

Azriel eyed her warily, but Elain was wearing her best, most innocent expression. She blinked up at him, sidestepping slightly so the afternoon sun gilded her face, sparkling in her eyes. When Azriel’s face softened, just a bit, Elain had to bite back a grin. All her life, men had been saying she had the most beautiful face. If they had no problem chasing after a strange woman because she was pretty, then Elain had no problem using her looks to her advantage. Whatever it takes to get the job done, she mused, waiting until Azriel gave her a reluctant nod. “Remember, that man is a criminal. Don’t get too close,” he warned her, jerking his chin in Lucien’s direction. “If you need me, just give a shout.”

“Thank you, Marshal,” Elain breathed, parting her lips just so.

Azriel actually blushed. “Just Azriel is fine, ma’am,” he said, backing out the door and closing it behind him.

Elain didn’t waste a moment, spinning to grab hold of the bars. Lucien was staring at her, brows raised, but she ignored him, hissing, “Where are the damned keys?” Now Lucien was the one blinking dumbly at her. She rolled her eyes, stalking away from the cell to inspect the heavy wooden desk.

“Elain,” Lucien called after her.

She tossed her head, curls in disarray as she whipped around to glare at him. “Are you going to be helpful?”

“The keys are on the far wall,” he pointed. “Now come give me a kiss, I missed you.” She flapped a hand at him in dismissal, stalking for the keys on the hook. Lucien made a frantic sound, “Elain, you can’t. If you unlock this door, they’ll arrest you too.”

“I didn’t come here to cry and wilt like a flower, Lucien,” she said, exasperated. “I have a plan.”

“But,” he started, gaping at her. “The marshals. There’s three of them, they have the building surrounded.”

Elain just smirked, snatching the key ring before making her way back to the cell. “No they don’t. Nesta’s an excellent distraction.”

Lucien goggled at her. “Nesta? A distraction? What is she doing?”

She laughed, “I didn’t ask, and I’m not sure I want to know.” Elain leaned up against the bars, wrapping her fingers around the cool metal. “Come here, tough guy.”

Lucien pressed against his side, and the bars were just far enough apart that their lips could meet. He broke away first, but didn’t go far. “This is just a little sexy, Elain,” he said, mouth barely brushing hers.

“Just a little?” Elain’s brows shot up. “I think I’m offended.”

“If we got you a badge, you’d make a real sweet sheriff,” he murmured, voice dropping. “Would you put me in chains, Elain?”

She grinned, reaching one hand through the bars to fist his collar, holding him where she wanted. “Why would I need chains when I have you right where I want you?” Lucien exhaled roughly, pressing his whole body tight to the bars in a bid to get closer. Then Elain realized he was rocking his hips ever so slightly, rubbing his growing bulge against one of the metal bars. She loosed a low laugh, watching the skin of Lucien’s arms pebble at the sound. “In a jail cell and still being bad?”

Lucien froze, eyes widening as he met hers. “What laws am I breaking,” he asked, the words rumbling in his chest.

“When your woman is right in front of you,” Elain said, lips curling into a slow smirk. “You’re not supposed to pleasure yourself without permission.” Without warning, she slid her hand down his body to cup the long length straining at his fly. Lucien’s groan threatened to set her body alight.

“My apologies, ma’am,” Lucien rasped. She shivered, pressing her hand harder in response. “Can I ask for your assistance?”

Elain simply popped the first button, answer enough. He helped her with the rest, the two of them working quickly. Then she was sliding her fingers through the gap in his fly, brushing against velvet covered steel. Lucien loosed a breath as she wrapped her hand around him, pulling him out gently.

God, but he was pretty. Elain watched his cock bob, twitching up towards his belly. Her fingers just managed to circle his girth, and she dragged her hand up his length, making her first pass gentle. “We have to be quick,” she said, looking at Lucien through her lashes.

He huffed a laugh, though it choked off into a groan when Elain tightened her grip on the next stroke. “You’ll have to go a little faster than that,” Lucien said, voice low and dark.

Elain grinned, pulling her hand away. Lucien made a soft sound, hips bucking forward to chase after her. “Show me how you like it, then,” she teased. “And maybe I’ll help you.”

Lucien’s russet gaze was smoldering. He didn’t hesitate to spit in his palm, gripping his length and pumping slowly. After a few long strokes, his cock gleamed, and Lucien began to speed up. Elain leaned against the bars, biting her lip as she watched his fist tighten and twist. When Lucien closed his eyes on a soft groan, head tipping back with pleasure, she reached out, sliding her finger down the trail of auburn hair on his abdomen. His breathing stuttered, and she grinned, avoiding his member to explore his muscled thighs. Lucien pumped faster and harder as she teased him, until finally, Elain wrapped her hand around his. “I’ll take it from here,” she whispered, rubbing her thumb over his leaking slit.

Lucien shuddered, shifting his hand down to cup his balls, allowing her free reign. “Yes, ma’am,” he said, making her shiver with delight.

She squeezed him firmly, making Lucien gasp. Elain alternated technique with every stroke, going hard, then soft. Fast, then slow. She traced him with a gentle nail, then twisted her fist over his head, rubbing her thumb over the sensitive skin to make him tremble.

It didn’t take long before Lucien was gripping the bars with both hands, panting against her lips. He practically vibrated, every muscle tense with anticipation. “Have you done this before?”

Elain’s smirk widened, “How do you think I got so good at it?” She parroted his words back to him before sinking to her knees and taking all of him into her mouth. She hollowed her cheeks around his twitching length, moaning softly at the taste of him. Already on edge, the added stimulation was enough to make Lucien jerk against the cell bars, biting down on one knuckle as his hips bucked. Elain cupped his balls with one hand, his base with the other, and sucked as though her life depended on it. He shot ropes of hot cum down her throat as quick as she could swallow.

Finally, when the spurts died down and he began to soften a bit, Lucien slid a hand over her hair. She released him with a pop, sitting back on her heels and looking up at him. “Can I break you out of prison now?”

Lucien didn’t stop laughing until they’d mounted the horses Elain had stashed behind the church. “You are a remarkable woman,” he said at last, pulling her into a consuming kiss. “And a woman in need of ravishing. How about tonight?”

“Tonight sounds just fine,” she said, beaming like the sun.

* * * * *

They rode until dusk. Not wanting to risk the horses, Lucien suggested they stop for the night. They could continue on in the morning when they could see the trail better.

Elain had packed plenty of supplies in the saddlebags, unsure what they would need on the run, but wanting to be prepared for anything. Lucien grinned, unstrapping bedrolls and passing them to her. “It looks like you brought half the cabin,” he said.

“I did,” Elain said, blushing. She unrolled the mats beside their small fire. Lucien hadn’t wanted to risk anything bigger, but they both knew the nights could get cold. “Nesta is supposed to go back tonight to get anything else she can carry.”

“I take it you have a meeting point?”

Elain nodded, straightening up again. “There’s a spot along the river we always go to in the summer,” she said. “A swimming hole. It’s far enough from town that we’ve never seen another soul.”

“You’ve got it all planned out,” Lucien marveled. “The three of us would make a better gang than my father ever dreamed of.”

Elain flushed, “I hardly think I’d make a good criminal.”

“Darlin’, you’re doing a pretty good job,” Lucien said, leaning in to drop a quick kiss on her lips. “First my father, now a jailbreak. If you keep this up, we’re going to have matching wanted posters.”

The thought should have made her nervous, but instead, Elain found herself grinning slyly. “Your picture did look awfully handsome. I might have grabbed a copy before we left,” she said, biting her lip. She rummaged in one of the bags, pulling out a folded paper.

Lucien laughed, taking a look for himself. “The likeness is uncanny,” he said, eyeing her. “If they do such a good job with your portrait, we’ll have every marshal west of the Mississippi on our trail in no time.”

“Good thing I have a hardened criminal of my own to keep me out of harm’s way,” Elain said, smiling at him.

“Good thing,” Lucien echoed, his russet eyes locked on her lips.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I stole these from the sheriff’s office,” Elain said shyly, holding up a pair of handcuffs and the matching key.

Lucien loosed a heavy breath. “Do I mind? Elain, I’d let you do just about anything to me.”

“Really?”

“You’re a weakness,” he said, reaching out to cup her face with one hand. “I can’t resist you. But,” he trailed off, sliding his fingertips over her jaw to her chin. “I don’t think I’m the biggest lawbreaker today.” Lucien’s smile was wicked, and he leaned in to nip at her lip.

Elain sighed into his mouth. “Is that so?”

Metal clinked, and Elain shivered as one bracelet circled her wrist. “That’s right,” Lucien said. The second lock clicked, and he lifted her joined wrists between them. Elain pressed her hands flat to his chest, moving closer until her thighs brushed his. Against her lower stomach, she could feel him hardening. Lucien looped one arm around her lower back, pulling her even tighter, and she gasped, his length twitching against her belly. “What should your punishment be, Elain?” The question was a dark rasp over her skin, and Elain melted into his arms.

“Kiss me,” she begged, tilting her face up to his.

Lucien obeyed, but he didn’t just kiss her, he devoured her. He licked into her mouth, consuming her. His hips rolled into hers, arm tightening to hold her where he wanted. Lucien’s other hand slid into her hair, the faint tugs at her scalp making her moan. She lost all sense of reality, of up and down. All she knew was Lucien and the living flame at her core. Elain writhed against him, thighs clenching in search of some friction. She needed more.

A deep chuckle told her that Lucien had noticed her struggles. His hand slid out of her hair to tug at her shackled wrists, pulling them over his head until her arms looped around his neck. “Hold on tight,” he said, breath hot on her lips. And then he was lifting her up, hands firm around the backs of her thighs. She obeyed, following his lead and wrapping her legs around his waist. The position had her clothed heat rubbing over his hardened length, stealing the air from her lungs.

Lucien, damn him, rocked against her. Every forward movement sent sparks through her veins, and the bundle of nerves between her legs throbbed at the attention. Elain dove into his kisses, drowning her moans with the taste of him. Desire was heady on her tongue. Then Lucien broke away, pressing his lips to her chin, her throat, her collarbones. “I want you,” Elain breathed, nearly inaudible. She repeated it like a mantra, unable to help herself. “I want you,” she said, as Lucien nuzzled at her shoulder. “I want you,” while he licked at the swell of her breast.

“You have me,” he finally answered. And then the world was spinning, and Elain’s back met the bedroll. Oh. She hadn’t even noticed when Lucien started moving.

Every thought eddied out of her mind when Lucien’s hips rolled against hers with greater force, her skirts edging up her thighs with each rocking movement. His lips teased at the edge of her neckline, coaxing it further down her chest, until her peaked nipples were exposed to the night air. Elain sucked in a breath, then Lucien was wrapping his mouth around one, flicking it with his tongue. He taunted her, scraping his teeth over the tip again and again. Her back arched, pressing her hips against his. Her hands found his hair, fingers delving deep in those fiery locks and holding on for dear life. “Please,” she groaned out, gasping at the electric flicker of his tongue.

Lucien pulled back, blowing on the damp skin until she cried out. She caught a glimpse of his smirk before he descended upon the other breast to lavish it in similar attention. “Please what,” he teased between nips and licks.

“Lucien,” she said, but the admonishment turned to a moan when his long fingers found her other breast. His hips bucked into hers again and again, until she was writhing against him, the friction too much and yet not enough. “Make love to me, Lucien,” she asked, eyes fluttering shut from the delicious sensations.

Quicker than thought, Lucien pulled away from her chest, hips stilling between hers. “As you wish,” he said, pressing another kiss to her hungry lips.

Then he was kneeling over her, firelight glimmering off his long hair as he peeled his shirt away, revealing an endless expanse of brown skin. Elain watched, enthralled, as those wonderful fingers slid down to the buttons at his fly. One by one, they popped open, until his cock was free of its confines. His russet eyes sizzled, tracing down the length of her body as Lucien slid his pants down his legs.

Seeing him bare jolted Elain into action, and she brought her bound hands down, fumbling with her blouse in an attempt to get it off. Lucien joined her, his hands steady as they slid the fabric up her chest. He stopped to nip at the tender tips of her breasts before sliding the blouse up and off her head. The handcuffs stopped them from removing it entirely, so Lucien pressed her wrists to the bedroll above her head. “Keep them there,” he murmured, lips brushing over her cheekbone.

Elain smirked, watching as he worked his way down her body, dropping kisses along her exposed torso. “What happens if I don’t?”

Lucien pressed open mouthed kisses to her abdomen, just above the waistline of her skirt. “Try it and find out,” he dared, hands running down her legs to find the hem rucked up at her knees. His fingers were hot, running gently along her thighs, raising the skirt as he worked his way up to where she needed him most.

Then Lucien stopped, fingertips grazing the crease of her hip. Elain squirmed, feeling exposed with her skirt bunched up at her waist. The cool night air made her painfully aware of how wet she was, but with Lucien between her legs, she couldn’t hide herself. Especially with his face mere inches away from her core. Elain swallowed nervously. She’d fooled around with men before, but no one had ever looked at her like Lucien was. Like he was hungry.

When Lucien pressed a gentle kiss to her inner thigh, Elain nearly jumped out of her skin from shock. He chuckled, eyes flashing to meet hers. “Has anyone ever tasted you before?”

Breathless, Elain shook her head. She’d never even heard of such a—

Lucien’s next kiss sent every thought screeching to a halt. His lips found the little bundle of nerves at her apex, making her sigh, skin tingling at the new sensation. Lucien was gentle, exploring her with little licks of his tongue, until Elain was arching her hips into him. “More,” she demanded, not sure what that meant but knowing the little touches weren’t enough.

Lucien smiled against her. Then his tongue plunged into her, and his moan set her on fire. Elain watched him, held his eyes as he feasted on her, and she felt herself spiraling out of control. He was devouring her, relentless, driving her higher with every flick of his tongue. Before long, Elain was trembling, hovering on the edge of completion. “Please, please, please,” she chanted, unable to catch her breath or even form a full sentence. But Lucien obliged. She tensed when she felt his finger prodding her entrance. Then he slipped inside, her slick easing his passage.

Elain groaned, the slight pressure enough to tip her over the edge into bliss. She clenched around him, muscles tightening in rhythmic pulls. Lucien didn’t stop, giving long kisses to her clit while he stroked her walls. Then one finger became two, and she choked on a moan at the fullness. Her hips jerked, and suddenly her hands were in Lucien’s hair, pulling gently to stop him, or perhaps to urge him on.

His fingers left so suddenly, Elain gasped. “Someone didn’t follow instructions,” he said, smirking up at her. Then he plunged his fingers back in, grinding his thumb against her nub. Elain shuddered, falling into her second orgasm, and Lucien kept working her through it. He added another finger, stretching her to the edge of pain, but it quickly subsided into toe-curling pleasure. He pulled her aching clit into his mouth as though he might swallow her whole. Lucien curled his fingers up, sucking at her bundle of nerves, and she came again with a scream.

In the aftermath, Elain blinked, vision blurry. But before she could move a muscle, Lucien was crawling up her body. His bare skin brushed hers, burning hot. Finally, he settled between her thighs, chest pressed against hers. His member slotted into place at her core. Elain’s wide-eyed gaze met his, and then Lucien was licking into her mouth. She moaned in surprise, tasting herself on his tongue.

“Did you like your punishment,” he asked, lips brushing hers.

“Punishment?” Elain could scarcely see straight. The stars were tumbling in the sky above her.

He laughed, pressing open-mouthed kisses along her neck. “I told you not to move,” he said, biting gently at the swell of one breast. Then Lucien grabbed her cuffed wrists with one hand, pinning them to the ground above her head. “This time, I’ll make sure you stay put.” He rocked his hips against her, sliding through the slick between her thighs, and they both moaned. “Elain, tell me you want this,” Lucien said, angling his hips into the next thrust. The crown of his cock found her entrance, and he stopped there, trembling.

“I want you,” Elain said, arching to press her breasts more firmly against him. The movement helped his tip slide in, and she writhed, seeking more. “Always,” she said, rolling her hips to take him another inch.

Lucien didn’t ask any more questions, entering her in one smooth thrust. Her cry was loud enough to echo off the rocky canyon walls. Lucien smothered the sound with a deep kiss, pulling out to the tip before driving back in. Elain whimpered into his mouth, loving the steady thrusts, the impossible fullness. But she wanted him faster, harder, deeper.

“Lucien,” she said, capturing his lip between her teeth. “You’re fucking me like a gentleman.”

He stopped, blinking down at her, before his lips spread in a wicked grin. “Well, we can’t have that, can we?”

Elain didn’t have a chance to reply before Lucien was withdrawing entirely. He sat back on his heels, hands gripping her hips to maneuver her how he wanted. Once she was positioned on her hands and knees before him, Elain looked over her shoulder with a sly smirk. “Any day now,” she teased.

In response, Lucien plunged into her, his cock reaching deeper than before. She scrabbled for purchase on the bedroll, and the chain between her wrists clanked with each powerful thrust. Then a hand pressed down between her shoulder blades, pushing her onto her elbows instead. Lucien groaned, sliding his hand down her waist to grasp her hip. “You take my cock so well,” he rumbled, pulling out slowly, then snapping his hips forward.

Elain gasped, feeling him impossibly deep within her. “Lucien,” she moaned, pushing back onto him.

“Such a pretty pussy,” he said, pumping faster. “And it’s all mine.”

“All yours,” Elain breathed, pressing her face into the bedroll. Each snap of his hips was accompanied by a wet slap, and her clit throbbed.

Lucien reached a hand under her body, arm wrapping around her waist, and his fingers found the sensitive bundle of nerves between her legs. The first touch was electric, and she gasped, rocking back onto him. “Are you going to come for me, darling?”

His fingers rubbed circles, even as his pace quickened. Lucien pounded into her, cock hitting all the right places within her, and Elain couldn’t stop the sounds coming out of her mouth. Her thighs began to tremble, marking her impending orgasm. “Yes,” she hissed, biting down on her lip.

Lucien’s other arm banded around her chest, yanking her upright. Her back pressed flat against him, his hips still bucking wildly into hers. “Then come for me, Elain,” he demanded.

He pinched her nipple, fingers rubbing furiously over her nub, and Elain wailed. She clenched around him, making Lucien growl into her ear. And then his hips stuttered, losing all rhythm as he fell over the edge after her. Lucien remained buried to the hilt, pulsing within the tight grip of her channel. She sighed, clenching again at the wet warmth filling her, and was rewarded by Lucien’s muttered curse, his fingers digging into her hips.

She pouted when he finally pulled out, his seed trickling down her thighs, uncomfortably sticky. “You’re too good for me,” Lucien murmured, pressing a kiss to her lips. He found a spare cloth to wipe her clean. “But I’m not giving you up any time soon.”

“Good,” she grinned. “Because if you try to run, I’ll shoot you. Nesta’s been teaching me.”

Lucien swore, but he was smiling as he found the key to unlock the handcuffs. “That woman is a terror,” he said, lying down beside her. He pulled a blanket over them, arms wrapped around her to hold her close. “But I won’t be running, so there’s no need for violence.”

“Nesta said I need to keep you in line,” Elain giggled. “You’re a criminal after all.”

“That’s what your new shiny handcuffs are for,” he told her, kissing her lightly on the nose. “You can lock me up and have your wicked way with me.”

Elain hummed thoughtfully, resting her head on his chest. The stars flickered overhead, soothing her as much as the heartbeat in her ear. “Maybe tomorrow,” she said, smiling softly.

[rottenbrainstuff]

How do you feel about Jurassic Park films? I've seen only the first one (or possibly the second one too) , but I know they made more stories and one of them is coming to theater this month. Are they good to watch or, are they at the point even Jeff couldn't save it?

Hrrrrrrrehhgggg

Ok so look, I totally admit that when it comes to movies, I’m just a grumpy old man yelling at clouds, but I don’t care. I’m super passionate about film and I have Strong Opinions.

So Jurassic Park. Here’s the dealio. When the very first movie came out, I was probably just exactly the right age for it. I was squarely the target audience that all the marketing was aimed at, and there was a lot of it. My shitty small town had one single movie theatre that only played two movies at a time (one regular feature, and one kid’s matinee) so going to movies was still very much a fancy treat, for me. And you guys have to remember, there was also all this hype about A MOVIE made on the COMPUTER. There had been different little effects in other movies, the liquid metal in Terminator 2, the water thing in the Abyss, stuff like that… this was the first time I can remember seeing something MADE ON A COMPUTER that looked like A REAL LIVING THING and there was a TON of hype around this.

The end result of all of this is that when I went to see Jurassic Park in the theatre for the very first time, it absolutely knocked my socks off. There was SO much hype around this movie, it was the only thing my friends were talking about for a long time, I loved Lex because she reminded me of me, it had an absolutely beautiful and iconic score, it had a fabulous rock solid story, and it had great actors giving iconic performances. It had a combo of cutting edge for the time computer graphics and AMAZING practical effects that have made the movie absolutely timeless and able to stand on its own even over 20 years later. There was a making-of documentary that played on tv at the time which I taped on VHS and watched over and over and I was absolutely fascinated to learn about how they made this film. I honestly think it’s basically a perfect film, from a technical standpoint, just so many different elements coming together beautifully to make a truly classic film.

So…. That’s a super hard act to follow. To me, Jurassic Park isn’t just about dinosaurs, it’s also about all the other elements as well, the insane hype, the iconic music, the cutting edge effects, that feeling of sitting in the theatre and knowing as you’re watching it that this movie is going to be a classic. And unfortunately not a single one of the other Jurassic Park movies that have come out have captured even a fraction of that feeling, for me.

The next two sequels that came out were just utterly forgettable. I know I’ve seen them but I honestly can’t even remember a single plot point from either of them. And then the new Chris Pratt movies… I mean yes they have dinosaurs in them and yes it’s called Jurassic Park but those aren’t Jurassic Park movies, to me. Not the same feeling as the first movie at all. I don’t like them. And I don’t like Chris Pratt much either, so I just super, super don’t care about the new movies. They’re action movies with dinosaurs in them and that’s great for the people who like that sort of thing, but that’s not Jurassic Park.

So Jurassic Park! I actually absolutely adore the very first one, and perhaps because of how much I love it, I don’t enjoy any of the other films that were made, and it makes me a bit sad to think about how we have so much more money to make movies with these days, and so much more computer power, and yet we don’t make better movies.

[skellebonez]

Where He Was (FreeNoodles Fanfic)

HEY @ninja-knox-ur-sox-off I HEARD IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY! So first off: HAPPY BIRTHDAY (SLIGHTLY LATE MAYBE I AM SORRY) ! Second: because it’s your birthday I wrote you some FreeNoodles! This could be considered a sequel to that fill I wrote of Pigsy revealing he is Zhu Bajie with some headcanons and other FreeNoodles fills referenced for fun. It’s a slightly different style from what I normally do but I hope you like it!

Here’s an AO3 link! (Chapter 2 is the fill this is a sequel to)

Tang never imagined that he would end up where he was at this exact moment.

Thinking back on it, he supposed it started back when he had met Pigsy. The noodle shop was recently opened, not yet having the eye catching neon sign of MK's design, and he had decided to take a gamble. If the food was better than his usual lunch spot, great! And if it wasn't at least he had tried something new.

In the end the food was absolutely amazing, but that wasn't the only reason he kept coming back. After a few days of eating he started to really notice the owner, Pigsy the chef and seemingly only employee in the entire shop, and picked up on the way he just... changed in different situations. For most customers he was cordial and polite but when they were a regular he seemed to open up more and relax, showing off his gruff sense of humor and caring nature. He noticed how there seemed to be specific regulars he took the time out of his day to talk to specifically, how he had a soft spot for kids (and he would never forget the time he saw a very tired student was short on money and Pigsy just rang him up for a smaller bowl and refused to take his offer to wash dishes to pay the difference), and how when there were no other customers around he would sometimes forget Tang was still sitting in the back of the shop and he would smile in a way he just didn't around others while he prepared the ingredients for other batches of soup.

He slowly started sitting at the bar, hoping that he would work up the courage to start actually talking to him and in time he did. Maybe... flirt a little for reasons he didn’t really think about too hard... He fumbled it poorly and made a fool of himself, forgetting both his own wallet and to even attempt to pay, but Pigsy had taken pity on him and asked him to come back and that soft only half exasperated and amused look on his face made the scholar flush and realize... he had indeed developed a bit of a crush on the other man.

The more time he spent in the shop the more he began to realize that it was more than a bit, but after his initial horrifically failed attempts of flirting he decided to just try befriending the pig and see how things went from there. And for the longest time this worked fabulously, the two of them growing closer and closer and he realizing that, somehow, Pigsy reminded him more than a bit of a softer Zhu Bajie of the old stories. He had managed to finish every item on the menu and even see his own playful suggestions incorporated (and he would never let Pigsy hear the end of that) as well. This had been going great... and then MK had disappeared.

He had found it odd that he hadn't seen the young man while working his extra shifts at the library in a couple days. Normally he had such a regular schedule, and Mei hadn't shown up either, but it hadn't been the first time they had skipped a day or two due to something like a new game release or the airing of a new Monkey King related show or movie. It wasn't until he had gone to the noodle shop on what should have been two days after his birthday that he realized not only had MK also been a regular of Pigsy's Noodles (and what a coincidence that the boy he had taken under his wing was not only friends with the girl who he was close family friends with and considered family herself, but all three were regulars of the same shop) but he had been coming in almost as long as Tang had on a slightly different schedule. Soon it became three days, then four, then nearly a week. Neither Pigsy or Mei had seen him at all and Tang really wished he knew where the boy lived. Pigsy had been been growing more and more worried and anxious and then one day Tang came in and he was just not worried anymore.

He had run out from behind the counter and yelled his name and hugged him and said "we found him, MK's ok!" and he had never seen the other man look so relieved and angry at the same time as he started going on about how his parents had kicked him out and Pigsy had been thinking of starting a delivery service and now MK was living in the old room he didn't really use above the shop... and that was when Tang knew he didn't have a crush on Pigsy.

He'd accidentally fallen for him.

Completely.

He's seen MK soon after the same day, learned the whole story (and how he would love to join Pigsy for a "chat" with the then 18 year old's parents), and overtime they settled into a routine. Pigsy helped MK get his license and get used to living on his own and working, Tang came by nearly every day for noodles and to check in, Mei and MK hung out in the shop after hours, and once again things had been going so well for a few months.

Unfortunately for Tang, it seemed they could never go long without something eventful happening anymore because one day he went to work with an apartment and left work to find he didn't have one anymore. A fire, they had said, bad enough that the building needed to be demolished as soon as possible. He was lucky, he lived on the side with the least damage and most of his belongings were safe, but he had nowhere to go. He lived too far from any of his family to receive any immediate help from them and he couldn't afford to stay in hotels for very long. The only thing he could think to do was grab his laptop from his apartment and make a second trek to Pigsy's Noodles and look for any apartment listing he could afford no matter how poor quality it may be.

He didn't get very far before Pigsy frowned and said "I have a spare room at my place".

Tang had tried to argue, to turn him down, face flushing in embarrassment and unspoken "no Pigsy you don't understand I'm in love with you I can't" floating just on the tip of his tongue. But the pig had grabbed his hand and held it tight before he brought him noodles he had not ordered with a smile and a whispered "you look like you need them" and he couldn't say no. So he moved in.

It was awkward for a time, getting used to a new home and having a roommate and seeing Pigsy out of his work clothes and getting to know him more and more and he shouldn't have been surprised to learn he was just as particular about his tea as he was his noodles. That was fine as Tang was as well in the same way. Soon his belongings left his room, his kitchenware were used as much as what was here and books were left on the coffee table and it felt less like a place he was staying and more like his home.

True to form something else happened, this time MK finding the staff of the Monkey King of all things and really he didn't need to mull the last few months over in his mind. It had all been a whirlwind of one thing after the other but he remembered them well enough. Only one moment stood out in his mind that helped to bring him right here and now.

Less than a week prior he learned that his Pigsy and the Zhu Bajie were one and the same.

One minute he was on the roof of a four story building across from the noodle shop and Pigsy was Pigsy, the next he was falling and Pigsy was Not Pigsy and instead a large behemoth of a large tusked demon catching him as he plummeted to what would have been either his death or an excessively long stay in the hospital, wrapping his entire body around Tang. He’d caught him so carefully he barely even felt the jolt when he landed and made a crater in the street and he felt his heart skip once he was set down and Pigsy- no Zhu Bajie but still Pigsy to him- jumped back onto the building and punched the offending demon so hard they couldn’t even find him afterwards.

They’d sat in the noodle shop and everything was laid on the table and he took another gamble. Just like on that first day he entered Pigsy’s Noodles. He’d climbed on the table they sat at and stopped just short of kissing Pigsy, waiting to see what he would do and then he kissed him first and it was awkward and they didn’t really fit together because he was so big but it was right.

He was such a fool to wait so long but the jolt of something he felt in his chest that made him gasp was worth it. He would have waited twice as long just to feel that moment again.

They couldn’t go home, not with Pigsy as big as he was, so they waited in the shop until he could calm down enough to transform back. Talking, revealing things they felt about each other they never thought they would ever be able to admit like how Tang would just watch Pigsy while he talked to kids because he lit up and how Pigsy would listen to every story Tang told MK and his objections were just so the younger man wouldn’t catch on to his affections for the scholar.

That night was the last night Tang spent in his room alone because neither of them got a single second of sleep as they thought about the other. The first night sleeping in the same bed went much the same way, if not almost worse, their faces heated in embarrassment and disbelief that this was happening keeping them from sleeping any other way than with their backs turned to each other. But at least they eventually fell asleep.

The night after Tang chanced a second kiss as they climbed into bed, taking the lead this time. This time it was like they fit together perfectly and they couldn’t bring themselves to roll over after and eventually they kissed again and again and Tang tucked Pigsy’s head under his chin once he nodded off first and they slept more soundly than he could ever remember.

And then the next night they did the same and Pigsy transformed in his sleep and destroyed their bed and gave Tang the scare of his life.

Learning that Pigsy was apt to transform into his demon form if he was completely at ease and safe made Tang wonder exactly why he had never done this in his sleep before, but he didn’t pry. Instead he laughed softly and kissed him again through the pig’s embarrassment and insisted it was perfectly fine and actually rather sweet as ordered a much larger bed that only barely fit in multiple parts and needed the delivery team to set it up. It was so massive they could fit two of each of them in it and still have room, there was barely any floor left at all, but it would hopefully be just big enough to fit one full sized Pigsy plus one  human sized Tang.

And that’s how Tang ended up where he was at that exact moment.

Laying in a bed much too large for him but perfectly sized for them, one massive demon curled around him and purring so loud Tang could have mistaken him for a motor, both awake but unwilling to move themselves.

“I love you,” Pigsy suddenly said, almost unheard above his purrs but not missed.

“I love you too,” Tang replied, meaning it with all of his being.

He tilted his head up as Pigsy leaned further down, their lips meeting in another chaste but right kiss.

[fanfic-corner]

Cockles

I found out this morning that apparently Misha knows that Cockles exists. So... that’s fun. I’ve never been sure where I stand on RPF, so I thought I may as well read some and decide what I think after. Anyway, here’s what I read!

Revenge of the Subtext by MittenWraith on AO3. (80,064 words).

Tags: Case Fic, Fake Relationship, Canon Divergence after 10.20, French Mistake style AU, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Humor, Smut, Crack, Light Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Supernatural Convention, Human Castiel, Switch Dean, Switch Castiel, First Kiss, First Time, Enthusiastic Content, Love Confessions.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Descrition:  Things are finally settling back down to normal since Cas gave up his grace to cure Dean of the Mark. Well, as normal as their lives are allowed to get. Sam relentlessly finds new cases to work, one right after the other; but Dean thinks they need a break to let Cas have some purely human fun, for once. It’s true they had a difficult time readjusting to humanity at first, but Dean thinks Cas deserves to do more than ride around in the back seat and follow them on monster hunts. Then again, Dean’s a little bit scared to ask exactly what Cas would want, just in case it doesn’t include spending quite so much time with him. And with Sam (of course).

Sam’s been tracking a series of odd occurrences in Laramie, Wyoming for the last few weeks that looks just enough like a case to finally convince Dean they should go check it out. Whether they like it or not, the goddess responsible for the weirdness in Laramie takes an immediate interest in the three less-than-perfectly-happy hunters who’ve stumbled into her town.

Notes: Absolutely adorable, such a good case and beautifully written. There are some other works in the same series which are also absolutely fabulous!

He Who Laughs Last (The Joke Is on Us) by anoradh on AO3. (4,248 words).

Tags: RPF, Fluff, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Silly.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: For the prompt: Jensen and Misha think they’re pulling the mother of all pranks on Jared by pretending to be a couple, but they’re in way over their heads.

Notes: This was cute and I love the sheer panic they caused in Jared - I couldn’t stop laughing.

Through the Screen by ArchOfImagine on AO3. (28,722 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe, Angst and Humor, Season 9 Divergence.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: "What would you do if you woke up in the Supernatural world?" A fan asked Misha. Little did the actor know, but a few weeks later he would actually be finding out the real answer to that question. Because when Metatron tosses Castiel out of Heaven at the beginning of season 9 -- he tosses him right into Misha's universe. Now Misha is stuck in the Supernatural world, looking at his husband's face but a different man.

Notes: This was funny and cute and just generally adorable!

Is It Really A Mistake? by BriMaco518 on AO3. (6,819 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe - The French Mistake, s6e15 The French Mistake, Angst, Coda, Fluff, Happy Ending.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Dean and Sam Winchester find themselves in a world where the supernatural does not exist. Everyone calls them Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki respectively. Their efforts to protect the key that Balthazar gave them from Virgil, one of Raphael's angels, should be Dean's focus. Yet the elder Winchester finds himself distracted by the actor that plays Castiel, Misha Collins. Who also turns out to be the husband of Jensen Ackles.

Notes: Once again hit by not reading the tags, but if you read the sequel then that gets sorted out. Also, this is adorable and I actually saw the gifset it was based on afterwards, which confused me for a full minute.

Mistakes Are Better When They’re French by maraudersgirl47 on AO3. (21,791 words).

Tags: Episode: s06e15 The French Mistake, Fluff, Angst.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Notes: This was funny and touching and I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially the ending!

Description: Number One: Dean would definitely never appear on a soap opera.

Number Two: Dean Winchester did not wear makeup.

And Number Three: He was not gay!

God, Cas, whoever was listening - Please get them the hell out of here.

Fever by lysanatt on AO3. (13,624 words).

Tags: Romance, RPF, Post S8, No Spoilers, Hurt/Comfort, First Time.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: It's Christmas and the otherwise so mild Vancouver is hit by a rare blizzard. Misha is hit by the flu and Jensen is hit by the urge to take care of Misha. Of course there are unexpected consequences to it all.

Notes: This was so sweet -  I love a good hurt/comfort and the way they wrote Misha was amazing!

Twisted French Mistake by literaryoblivion on AO3. (3,170 words).

Tags: Episode: s6e15 The French Mistake, Parallel Universes, Alternate Universe, First Kiss, Kissing, Mistaken Identity.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: If Sam and Dean get sent to the Supernatural set, where do Jensen and Jared end up? That's right, the world of Sam and Dean. But they're safe, and Castiel checks in on them and ends up learning more about himself and Dean from Jensen.

Notes: This was a really good idea - I remember watching the episode and wondering where Jensen and Jared were!

The Bubble by thunderpuffin429 on AO3. (21,035 words).

Tags: First Time, Fluff and Smut, Feelings, Character Bleed, Kissing.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Cas has to choose between Heaven and the Winchesters. Again. For the final time.

Notes: The Destiel part of this was phenomenal but the Cockles part was mostly smut, which is fine but made me a bit uncomfy just because I’m ace and I’m not a massive fan of reading it. So, it wasn’t my favourite, but that’s entirely on me for not reading the tags properly.

Do You Know What You Think You Know by ljunattainable on AO3. (5,761 words).

Tags: Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Romance.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Everyone knows Jensen and Misha are together. Nobody even thinks about it. They just know. Except Jensen and Misha. They don’t know. A few things happen in the space of a few weeks that leave everyone at least knowing the same thing.

Notes: This was sweet and I loved how everyone assumed they were dating and they still didn’t know.

Method Acting (Or ‘In Which Misha Is Not, In Fact, Kidding Jensen’) by HigherMagic on AO3. (5,567 words).

Tags: Character Bleed.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: There's a little surprise in the script for the latest episode, Misha is unruffled, and Jensen is not amused, but he's determined to put on the best damn performance he can, 'cause it's the last season and, hey, he owes it to Dean.

Notes: This was pretty good but it did get me thinking... can you IMAGINE if we got a Destiel sex scene? Tumblr would have imploded. There would be a national holiday. 

Second Take by anonymous on AO3. (6,237 words).

Tags: Polyamory, First Kiss, Psychology, Character Bleed, Internal Monologue, Internal Conflict, Friendship/Love.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: Wherein Destiel becomes canon, and Jensen and Misha face the consequences of their first kiss.

Notes: This was fairly sweet, and Jensen’s internal monologue was written really well.

Still undecided, I think, but I hope you enjoyed! Some of the fics came off better than others, but some just seemed a little bit... not right? I don’t know how to explain it. Anyway, please remember that Cockles stuff should stay inside the fandom. I hope you find some fics you like!

[thisonesatellite]

A Self-promo Sunday game

i was tagged by the ever fantabulous @profdanglaisstuff --- thank you so so so much! 💖💖💖

Rules: Just for fun this Sunday, let's talk about our personal favourites of our own fics.

Not the ones we necessarily think are the “best.” The ones we go back and reread again and again (because if you don’t reread your own fics what are you even doing?), or the ones we wrote for something or someone special, or the ones that were most difficult to write and just make us proud when we think about them? Whatever criteria you choose, just talk a bit about the fics of yours that you really like.

All right, here we go!

it's our scars that give us character

This is only the second fic i ever wrote, but i think it still holds up, and i just really like this version of Killian. Plus, this was the first time a character -- in this case: Ruby -- stomped, yes, STOMPED out onto the page and demanded to be written, and it was So. Much. Fun.

i go back to it 80% for the sassy!Ruby, ngl. And 20% for the Killian.

OK. 70/30.

FINE. 50/50, but that is my final offer. 😂

.

This is not the End of the World - series

Look. i love me a good dystopia. That is no secret. But -- even though this may be the bleakest world i ever created -- the two oneshots in this series somehow ended up being the softest and most connected version of E&K i ever brought to the page and i just-- i kinda like it, you know?

.

All The Darkness In The World

This is a fic i wrote for @csrolereversal - where i was paired with the wonderful @darkcolinodonorgasm. She made a pic set that just sent me down a rabbit hole, only to come back up with 1238 words of my take on Darkness (and a happy end).

i go back to this sometimes simply because i think i managed to turn a few nice phrases and images, and because it's a sandbox in which i don't usually play.

.

we kill the flame

i don't know that i will ever be able to combine world-building, characters, complicated plot boa constrictors, pace, beats, setup, climax, and payoff in quite that way again. Every MC of mine so far has been the product of blood, toil, tears, sweat, and all of the above, but this one just--- sings in a different key. i don't know how else to put it.

i go back to it sometimes when i feel like nothing i write amounts to anything and need to remember why i do it.

.

And last but not least, "the time i was funny". 😂 AKA -- The Parquet Man and ...between a rock and a bark place, (and its sequel Astairway to Heaven).

Pure crack, all of them, but honestly - if you've never written CS from the POV of a dog or a hardwood floor, HAVE YOU EVEN LIVED?

Also, interestingly enough, of the two, a dog POV is much harder to write. (My darling "floor" came out of the gate all fabulous bitch at 180 mph. Ginger -- the dog -- i had to really work at in order to not make her too anthropomorhized and "preserve her canine essence", if you will.) Also - Parquet got a wonderful companion piece from Killian's POV, written by the fabulous @profdanglaisstuff. What more could one possibly want!

i go back to these to laugh. Out loud.

.

THANK YOU SO MUCH! This was so much fun!

Tagging: @katie-dub, @stahlop, @kmomof4, @ohmightydevviepuu, @shardminds, @winterbythesea, @eirabach, @captain-emmajones, @searchingwardrobes, @spartanguard, @snowbellewells, @winterbaby89, @courtorderedcake, @thejollyroger-writer

[winchest09]

The Bunker Party - Debrief

Hey peeps! 

Our latest bunker party was just amazing. My cheeks and my stomach still hurt from laughing...Supernatural seriously does have THEE best fandom and I’m so glad to be a part of it. 

6 and a half hours we were hanging out for…SIX AND A HALF! But to see so many beautiful faces, hear so many lovely voices and to spend time with new people was just a dream!  The support from you guys for each other, the love in this fandom; I can’t express how much I adore it.

Me and @katehuntington​ love holding these events and we are already planning the next live stream (date to be announced) but it will be in August.

So...to the debrief!

Below you will find:

Everyone who joined - their tags, what’s coming up fic wise and their masterlist.

Announcements - a juicy one this time!

Challenges to join

Blogs who want to help with your writing

Want a link breaker?

Fic & blog recs

So without further ado… *cracks fingers*

You are the guys that make it the live stream what it is.  So below is a list of everyone who was on the chat last night accompanied by their masterlist and what they have coming up soon!  For your reading pleasure and in no particular order…

@katehuntington​: The new chapter of Ride with Me is out NOW and she is currently working on the next instalment. The Sullivan Series is now scheduled to be posted every FRIDAY so keep your eyes peeled for that and she is going to be finishing All I Want soon too! 

Her masterlist can be found HERE

@flamencodiva​: This babe is currently working on a multitude of things and we are in awe every time she tells us what she has on. She has FINISHED the epilogue of Getting Back To You. She’s working on the next part of What He Lost, What He Found as well as When You Fall. She also has Call of the Ocean and drabbles that are exclusive to her patreon! 

Check out her masterlist HERE

@talesmaniac89​:  This beaut has been working a lot on editing images lately, making aesthetics and dividers for everyone to use! Besides that, she has a new chapter of The Man in Apartment 43 coming out. The next chapter of Missing in Action as well as the next one of Lost. 

She is also working on a Benny/Dean oneshot!

She’s created a fake website called HunT and is creating a social media AU set in the universe. The whole story will be told through text messages and emails. It’s NOT one to miss!  

Check her out guys, her masterlist is HERE

@whatareyousearchingfordean​: Alex is currently writing her next two fictions! With Happiness Begins finished (previously Et Cetera) she has a sequel in the works...as well as her Firefighter Dean AU.  From what we’ve already heard…it sounds amazing! I won’t give away any plot points that we were told just yet but it’s one to be put on your watch list!

Her masterlist can be found HERE

@superfanficnatural​:  This babe is currently working on the next chapters of The Bringer of balance as well as the next chapters of The Choice! He now has a Mafia AU fic in the works and will be collaborating with Alex (whatyousearchingfordean) on “Heavy lies the crown) a Male reader fiction! 

We’re living for it!

Go and give him some love, his masterlist can be found HERE

@deanwanddamons​: This absolute sweetheart is working on a few things at the moment and I have been given a sneak peak at what her talented little mind is cooking up. The next part of Baby Spoon will be gracing your eyes soon enough as well as updates to the rest of her series...The Show Must Go On anyone? ;) 

Her masterlist can be found HERE

@emoryhemsworth​: This beaut has broken her lil hiatus and posted the sequel to Because of You. Piece by Piece is amazing and if you haven’t read it yet, i suggest you check it out. She’s also writing her first chapter of her series called “Losing Sleep” as well as a TWD crossover fic! 

Check our her masterlist HERE:

@waywardbeanie​: This absolute gem of a woman is working on her very first fanfiction called “A Man Of Letters” and it’s an absolute DIAMOND. Dean. Letters. Fluff. Smut. It’s gonna tick all them boxes and it’s a must read!

You can find her masterlist HERE

@janicho88​: This lovely lady is working on some absolute winners at the minute. We have Love on the Sidelines that’s coming up as well as the next part of Come Back To Me! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

@soaringeag1e​: This lovely lady has a lovely full masterlist of things for you to dig your teeth into! There are series, oneshots for Jensen, Dean, Jared, Sam, Misha, Castiel…her new series “Escape” is an absolute MUST READ.

You can find her masterlist HERE

@smol-and-grumpy​: Nat has such a juicy masterlist. We were thrilled sto see her in our livestream again. She has just finished Light My Fire and is posting the eye candy that is Euphoria! Also keep your eyes out for a few oneshots coming your way soon...

You can find her masterlist HERE

@jensengirl83​: Brandy is an absolute doll and we adore her. She is still relatively new to SPN fanfic but that doesn’t stop her from dominating it! She has over twenty oneshots under her belt already!  What he lost, Prom Queen, Letter To Lisa, and Return to Sender are a few you must check out! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

@alleiradayne​: She is new to our bunker party this week and we absolutely adored having her there! She has been participating in a charity auction for writers (info below) in which she has been writing a commissioned piece as well as outlining a new series which is going to be quote long apparently! But we are SO there for it. 

You can find her masterlist HERE:

@mariekoukie6661​: Marie has a quite a few things on her masterlist going from SPN to Marvel so definitely some goodies for you to feast your eyeballs on! 

You can find her masterlist HERE:

Me: The latest chapter of Life for Rent is out NOW and I’m currently working on the next one, which i’m half way through.  I’m also working on Man’s Best Friend as well as a brand NEW series which will be posted once one series is finished. I also have a couple of Dean oneshots I’m working on right now. 

My masterlist can be found HERE:

To the readers…

We want to thank you for your constant support, your feedback, your words, your reactions to what we write. Your likes, your reblogs, your asks. We appreciate every single thing you do. So thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love you. 

Also, remember guys - we’re all here to love and support you! My inbox is always open if you want to talk about anything and everything. If you wish to start writing...give any of us a shout. We’re here to help! 

@leissa1287​ @teresa-67​ @jules-1999​  & the few nonnies we had!

Thank you for joining the chat and we hope you had an amazing time <3

Go and follow and give them some love!

In this livestream, thanks to @alleiradayne​, we found out about a wonderful organisation called Ficfasers, an international fundraising group of authors and artists who love Supernatural. They offer thank yous to people who agree to donate to Random Acts by creating stories/art, crafts, and more for winning bidders and ticket buyers!

THIS IS AMAZING!

Unfortunately, it appears we JUST missed out on the June auction but we have been told there is another one around the holiday period!

Want to write for Charity? 

Check out their tumblr HERE

and their website HERE

————————-

Follower achievements! 

Join me in congratulating these amazing blogs as they have surpassed or are close to a follower milestone! @waywardbeanie​ has past her first 100 followers!  

@emoryhemsworth​ is close to 750 followers!            

@talesmaniac89​ is close to 4000 (she may do a challenge...keep your eyes peeled!)   

@superfanficnatural​ has passed 450 followers! 

If you’re not following them already, head on over and show them your support! 

————————-

Want to be the first to read new chapters of your favourite fics? 

 Some of our fabulous livestream participants have Patreon! 

For a small fee a month, you get personalised drabbles, oneshots as well as first dibs on new chapters before ANYONE else! Please consider giving them your support.

The links for each authors Patreon is below:

@smol-and-grumpy​ - Find hers HERE

@flamencodiva​ - Find hers HERE

@soaringeag1e​ - Find hers HERE

Ooooooo we have FOUR challenges for you to get involved in! 

Firstly, the darling @flamencodiva​ is holding a celebration in regards to reaching 1700 followers!

Not only is she hosting a character take over on her blog she’s also posted a writing challenge for all us writers out there! This challenge is still ongoing!

Check it out HERE

Secondly, the wonderful @deanwanddamons​ & @impala-dreamer​ are holding a joint challenge. The “I Do Understand That Reference” Challenge.

Fancy guiding Sam, Dean or Cas through another French Mistake type event? Take a look at the movie list and get yourself signed up!

Check it out HERE

Thirdly, @smol-and-grumpy​ is holding a “Blogiversary” Challenge! It looks amazing with an array of prompts to choose from...head on over and join in!

Check it out HERE

Last, but definitely not least, @alleiradayne​ is holding a challenge in celebration of passing 1000 followers! It’s called “The Summer Shut-in” and it looks fantastic. 

Again, lost of prompts to choose from and still time to do it. What you waiting for?

Check it out HERE

We’ve got you covered!

Need to hash out a plot with someone?

The lovely @malfoysqueen14​ has offered herself up to be a plot buddy to anyone that needs it. Stuck on a plot point, want to talk through a story line with someone? Give her a message! She’s here to help <3

Need help with research for a fiction?

The most wonderful @waywardbeanie​ has offered herself up to be a researcher for anyone who wants help with their fiction. She has been a die hard SPN fan forever and she’s like the Ellen of our live stream.

Need a researching buddy? Give her a message! She’s a doll <3

Please note: we’re all super friendly and we’re all here to help you in any way we can, we’re all here to help you! 

Need a new aesthetic? Line divider? We got you!  Our fabulously talented @talesmaniac89​​ has drawn up so MANY supernatural themed line breakers, headers and more for your free usage!

Just look at some of these!

She has a few posts full already! 

Check them out HERE! 

Give them a like, a reblog and please THANK HER if you use her work. She’s the most kind hearted, loving soul and a few words go a long way <3

In our live stream, we want to highlight what we’ve been reading and the amazing authors behind the words. So below is a list of all the fics that we recommend for some good ol fic binging!

Fic Recs

Long Way Home by @supersleepygoat​ Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary:  The Reader moves back to Sioux Falls after college to take care of the home front while Bobby travels for the summer. She is hoping for a quiet place to avoid her past and figure out her broken future. Instead, she finds new complications when she falls for her neighbour.

She also has some lovely Sammy goodness...you can check that out HERE

Business or Pleasure by @snffbeebee​ Pairing: Alex x reader/ Jensen x reader (eventual)

Summary:  Y/N is a new cast member of the Supernatural family and finds herself caught in between Business and Pleasure..It’s not always a good thing to get into but she thinks it might just be worth it!

The Woodsman by @thecleverdame​

Pairing:  Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader

Summary: A/B/O Fairy Tale - You’re a sheltered, thirty-something princess on the run from your brother, the newly crowned ‘Mad King’ of France. When you’re waylaid by marauders and left for dead in the forest, a gruff woodsman nurses you back to health.

The Oath by @thecleverdame​​

Pairing: Dark!Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader

Summary: After an unsuccessful escape attempt, the reader finds herself taken as a spoil of war. She ends up in the bed of a ruthless Alpha, the son of John Winchester, leader of the kingdom of Gilead. She struggles to conceal her true identity and navigate a society where being an Omega means nothing more than serving at the pleasure of powerful men.

Tic Tac Toe by @percywinchester27​​

Pairing:  Sam X Reader

Summary:  The reader shifts into a new city after being offered a dream job by a big firm. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect after an ugly break-up with a douche-bag Ex. But things turn out not as dreamy as she’d want them to be and the only thing that keeps her smiling is a totally coincidental game of Tic Tac Toe.

Doc and Sir by @crashdevlin​

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Summary: N/A 

King and Pet by @crashdevlin​

Pairing: Sam x Plus-sized!Reader

Summary: Y/n is very happy to be Dr. Winchester, happy to be Sam’s wife, but when Jack and Kaia send everyone into new universes, Doc is suddenly face-to-face with a very different ‘Sir’.

Cave Quid Optes by @crashdevlin​ Pairing: Dean x plus-sized!Reader,

Summary:  Everything is great in 2029. Everyone is happy, life is good. What could possibly go wrong?

Firefly by @jay-and-dean​ & @roonyxx​

Pairing: Future Dean x reader

Summary: 40 years in Hell, but he didn’t spend all this time all alone, he had her. Prepare to know what happened during those years Dean never talks about. To immerge yourself in Hell, only lit by the mysterious kid growing here…And to see some of your favorite villains again : Crowley, Lilith, Lucifer… And also Sammy and Jack…

Owe You One by @supernatural-jackles​

Pairing: Dean x Reader AU

Summary:  Dean Winchester has been your best friend and neighbour for the last year. A year of finding comfort in random drop ins and casual conversations, but neither of you know the pasts that the other has. Not fully. Pasts that come back to haunt you, and ruin everything you want in life. Can you find what you’re seeking in a couple of favours and a good time between the sheets or is history doomed to repeat itself?

Till Death Do Us Part? by @amanda-teaches​ Pairing: Dean x Reader Fake Engagement AU Summary:  At a work party with your best friend, Dean, you panic when your new boss asks if you’re couple. Lying to protect your promotion, you wind up fake engaged before you can take it back. When Dean agrees to go along with your lie for a weekend retreat, you end up finding something neither of you had bargained for: love.

With Wolves by @bamby0304​

Pairing:  Alpha!Dean, Alpha!Sam, Omega!Reader,

Summary:  Known as The Omen, your reputation puts fear in some of the most dangerous and deadly Alphas. So when you’re caught and sent to the worst maximum security facility unknown to man, no one expected an unclaimed Omega to walk through the gates in shackles and an orange jumpsuit. Word circulates, and before long there’s a price on your head. Who will claim the untamed Omega?

Blog Rec:

@idreamofplaid​: If you want some Sammy goodness...then this is a must follow blog! Her posts are to die for. 

@kittenofdoomage​:  Kitten has stories that just pull the reader in and gets them obsessed, completely original and fascinating stories.

@bamby0304​:  Bamby has an impeccable sense of plot and character development and she does it masterfully.

————————-

I think that’s it!

Thank you so much once again to everyone who joined the chat, we had 6 hours of laughs and i cannot wait to do it again. I’d appreciate it if you could share this to spread the love of the fics and authors on here!

Keep an eye out for the next date for our next livestream! It will be in a couple of weeks. If you guys have any idea’s or want something included, let us know. If you want to be tagged when we announce, let us know!

See you next time!

xox

[lobanhart]

I told my girls that I would write a little sequel to Nikki's drabble 💛✨ And so I finally made this one lol

I wanted to imagine the scene when John had to go back to that world he hated, after joining the sect. It seems to me that he would have experienced very mixed feelings.

And yes, I know, I'm doing it again! I redraw the eyes, change the background and brazenly try to pass it off as new art, lmao. Please forgive me!

But I thought it was appropriate because it is a continuation of that story~

Billy thought she was in some kind of crazy dream. She stood with a glass of champagne and watched men and women in the huge hall. They were all from high society and they were dressed in clothes so expensive that the cost of one of them Billy could live for a month.

But here she herself is standing among these people. John forced her to put on her stupid blue-gray silk dress with an open back. For this reason, Billy preferred to stand with her back to the wall so that no one would stare at her.

Fucking John himself was talking to some people`s. His shirt was the same color as Billy’s dress, and she couldn’t shake the thought that by doing so John seemed to be telling everyone who it belonged to. When they entered the hall, Billy saw it in the eyes of those present. They seemed to be imagining John and Billy in bed at this moment. This made Billy sick.

Bluebird looked at John again. He seemed like one among these people, as if he had not at all renounced his old life. And it made the already tense Billy tense up even more.

She shouldn't forget why she's here. After all, Joseph had told her that Billy must hold John back if he wanted to cross the line and return to the joy of his old life.

Billy looked at the ring on her ring-finger. She could only influence John Seed this evening, as a fake wife.

***

John felt like he had moved in time several years ago. In those years, he didn`t yet know that Joseph was looking for him, and had fun in full. Drugs turned into the air he breathed, and life became a kaleidoscope of faceless people imprinted in his memory. He remembered each one, but would like not to know any of them.

And then the moment came when he had to return. This evening John has to make a good impression in front of important people.

That it's all for Joseph. Their young sect needed the support of high-ranking people, and they all gathered here. There was no one who could do this job better than John Seed, and the thought made John keep grinning at people in response to their grins. None of this matters anymore.

You all the same they will all die soon.

"Wow, who I see! My sweet Joe."

John turned and smiled.

Giselle. He had sex with her for at least a year, and during that time they had both tried so many things that someone else must have already been lying dead.

But not them.

“You haven't been seen for a long time,” Giselle said and kissed him on the cheek. "How are you, Seed? I didn't think I'd meet you."

“I`m better than everyone else,” John said. "And how are you?"

Giselle looked pointedly at the man at the end of the room. John's next daddy didn't make any impression on John. They were all equally old, stupid, but fabulously rich. John was always interested to know how Giselle finds all these things so unmistakably in one person.

And she was never wrong.

"He's worth all this?" he asked, looking at the girl.

“I'm Mrs. Seymour now, Seed,” she said playfully. "But as far as I can see, I'm not the only one who tied the knot."

John looked down at the ring on his ring-finger. The silver hoop gleamed lazily in the spotlight.

“You said you were the last person to marry someone,” Giselle said, smiling a strange smile.

“We all make sacrifices ,” John said, not at a loss.

"And who is she?"

John saw Billy standing at the other end of the room. When Joseph told him that she would go with him, he was ready to argue with his brother. He knew from the beginning that Billy had nothing to do here. But Joseph insisted, and John couldn't argue.

Even though she was very constrained, Seed couldn't help but admit that she looked great. He chose the perfect dress for her, which favorably emphasized her figure. John didn’t tell anyone about how he loved the sight of her bare back with all the freckles and moles. Unbeknownst to Billy, John had even found the constellation. Right under her neck, her moles were located in an almost exact copy of the constellation of the wolf, and Seed loved this fact. Zeus turned Lycaon into a wolf because of his human sacrifices. Billy considered herself guilty for the death of her brother, who was ripped apart by the wolves. And this constellation on her back seemed to tell John - all this is fate.

Just like Billy came into his life.

There was nothing special about Billy. He knew it as soon as he saw her. Ordinary appearance, ordinary clothes, and in itself it was not much different from people. She had talents, shortcomings, a lot of problems. Everything like everyone else. Nothing special.

But somehow Joseph treats her in a special way. For some reason he made John find her and return to Montana, for some reason he protects her from all rituals. His brother mentioned that they were close even before he found John. What does it mean? Were they friends? Lovers? Joseph said he had a wife who died. Was it before or after her?

John would like to know that. The thought that Billy might be Joseph's mistress made him angry. They thought tormented him for a long time, but he could not find out the truth. This was something beyond his comprehension. It’s as if he’s a child at a closed door that cannot be entered by any means. And something very important is going on behind this door.

"Are you serious? Is that her?"

John woke up from his thoughts and looked at Giselle. She looked at Billy in disbelief.

"She's completely different from the ones you've fucked before," Giselle said and looked at John. "How did she hook you?"

John smiled.

"She knows how to divinely work with her mouth."

Of course, this was not true, but Giselle does not need to know about it.

“I can't tell it by her appearance,” the girl said, looking closely at Billy. John looked in that direction and the smile disappeared from his face. While he was talking to Giselle, a freak clung to Billy and called her to a slow dance.

John tensed instantly. He knew better than anyone that in this place dance meant something else. This guy is like telling her about his intention to climb up her skirt.

John was about to go to Billy, when suddenly he clearly saw how she refused the persistent suitor. This guy was persistent, but the quiet Billy was unwavering. John had never seen her look so confident before. Looks like his girl has learned to say “no”.

Seed couldn’t contain a smug smile.

"Looks like it's not just her mouth work."

John looked at Giselle, who looked at him without a smile.

“When I saw you, I thought I was wrong. Your look has completely changed, John. It looks totally wild. You have changed."

John smiled.

“It seemed to you, Giselle. I`m the same as before. "

Giselle shook her head. She raised herself on tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, then silently walked away. John stayed where he was with an unpleasant feeling in his chest.

***

The evening was finally over, and John was glad of it. As he and Billy drove in the direction of Montana, he felt like he was returning from hard work to a comfortable home. The return to the old life was as strange as possible, but most of all John was strained by the fact that he experienced something like a fit of nostalgia. He was ashamed of this. He knew he had to tell Joseph this when he got back to Hope. However, he now understood why his brother wanted him not to be there alone. If he hadn't had to monitor Billy, he would have definitely remembered all the “joy” of his former life.

Seed looked at Billy. She sat next to him, leaning her elbows against the open window. Her eyes were closed, and the wind completely disheveled the hair that she had done for the evening. She kicked off her shoes as soon as she got into the car and climbed onto the seat with her legs. John knew that his birdie was looking forward to the moment when she returned to the ranch and put on her favorite jeans, but she did not know that this dress would be the last thing she would wear that day.

Billy was a good girl tonight and he wanted to encourage her.

"How do you like this evening?" he asked.

"It was terrible," the girl replied immediately, without opening her eyes, "but you seem to like it."

"Why did you decide this?"

Billy opened her eyes and looked over her shoulder at John.

"You looked very organic among them."

After all, the dress he chose was perfect. In the moonlight, her bare back was so inviting that John wanted to bite it.

"You too, honey."

Billy smiled slyly.

"O-oh, really? Was that praise from John Seed himself now?"

John smiled.

"Yes, Sybill. You did well. It would be nice if you didn't drink champagne, though."

Billy smiled and turned to him, pretending not to hear the last remark.

"I didn't hear you, John. Please repeat."

John chuckled.

"I said you'd better not drink champagne."

"Not this, but the previous words."

"I think I said you did well."

Billy moved over to him and slowly sat down on his lap. John looked at her with polite interest and did not touch her. He was definitely amused by the way Billy became emancipated from a couple of glasses of alcohol.

Looks like she was really nervous at this party.

"I want more," Billy said, "I want you to praise me."

John laughed.

"Wow! I thought your sin was gluttony, birdie. But it looks like greed dwells in you."

"And I have always believed that these sins are somewhat similar."

Billy leaned over to him and touched her lips to his ear.

"Praise me, John."

Seed shook his head with a smile and dropped his hands on her hips.

"Okay, my little bird. You've done very well with these people. I thought you'd ruin everything."

His palms squeezed her waist and slowly crawled upward.

“I've heard that before,” Billy said, straightening up. John's hands went over her chest. "What else?"

"You haven't confused the cutlery. Not bad for a first try."

John hooked his fingers through the thin straps of the dress.

“I had a good teacher,” Billy said with a chuckle."What's next?"

John grinned.

"I think that's enough."

He wanted to lower the straps of her dress, but Billy would not let him do it.

"No, John. You forgot something."

Seed had long since realized what kind of game she was playing, and he would have preferred to pretend that he did not understand it. But Billy's behavior strangely pushed him to concessions. He wanted to please her, even if that meant giving up.

Moreover, she is unlikely to remember this conversation tomorrow.

"So be it, Sybill," John said and hugged the girl close to him, "I was really proud of you the moment you turned down that jerk. That was the surest decision you made this whole evening."

Billy smiled contentedly and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks for saying that, John. It wasn't that hard, was it?"

"Shut up, Sybill," John said, snorting at her neck. "This is not the best time to talk."

And at that moment John and Billy were equally happy that their personal driver was hidden behind a special screen and could not see their passengers. A strange evening suddenly acquired new colors for John Seed.

[therealsaintscully]

My list of X-Files inspired BBC Sherlock fic prompts

 I recently finished reading @88thparallel​‘s fabulous “Written in Ashes”, a BBC Sherlock fic inspired by the X-Files episode Demons. I’m a huge X-Files fan myself, and the idea of adapting an XF story into a Sherlock one sent me down a rabbit hole. I decided to compose a list of ideas, all up for grabs, for X-Files plots that can be adapted in interesting ways to a BBC Sherlock casefics.

Below you’ll find a list of X-Files episode with their original description, and some suggestions based on my knowledge of the two shows of what makes the plot an interesting one to write. As I mentioned, these ideas are PROMPTS, suggestions - feel free to write them. In fact it’ll be my honor! Let me know if and when you do (I might even create a collection for them in AO3).

Ice (1x07) - Mulder and Scully  investigate the death of an Alaskan research team. Isolated and alone, the agents and their accompanying team discover the existence of extraterrestrial parasitic organisms that drive their hosts into impulsive fits of rage.  Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: extreme nature adventures (mountains, snow, remote research facilities); isolated together with strangers in a distant location (Ice was supposed to be a bottle episode); a lot of suspense as Mulder and Scully’s trust in each other is put to the test (a handgun showdown), physical inspections rife with sexual tension, ooo! 

Darkness Falls (1x19) - Mulder and Scully are called in to investigate when a team of loggers disappear without a trace. Initially suspecting eco-terrorism, the agents find themselves trapped by a seemingly ancient menace lurking in the woods. According to Wikipedia, “Chris Carter was inspired to write this episode based on an interest in dendrochronology (sic? that’s how it’s spelled in wikipedia), a subject that involves analyzing annual growth rings found in non-tropical tree species.”  An interesting topic to develop!  Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: Just like in Ice, opportunity to write magnificent nature descriptions; also like in Ice, Mulder and Scully have to fend to themselves against the ‘others’; wonderful quotes such as “Rugged manly-men. In the full bloom of their manhood.” and “Come on, Scully. It'll be a nice trip to the forest." A Three Garridebs moment could work here!

Pusher (3x17) - Ah, Pusher. An early Vince Gilligan classic! Mulder and Scully’s assistance is requested for a case involving a man, who goes by the pseudonym "Pusher", seemingly capable of bending people to his will. The suspect uses his mysterious abilities to manipulate Mulder into a dangerous end game.  Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: Many parallels can be found between Modell and Eurus and or Moriarty; the game of cat and mouse in hopes of luring Mulder as the end game is quite similar to the TFP/TGG; the final game of Russian roulette with Mulder at the end is a classic MSR scene which could be lovely to write for John and Sherlock (Gillian is amazing with that One Tear™  while she threatens Modell); an opportunity to instill a fear of a very specific shade of blue in your readers; a chance of a sequel, since Modell returns with a vengeance in Kitsunegari.

Jose Chung's From Outer Space (3X20) - Mulder and Scully hear, and promptly investigate, a story about an alien abduction of two teenagers. Each witness provides a different version of the same facts. Within the episode, a thriller novelist, Jose Chung, writes a book about the incident.  Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: Humor! Lots and lots self-aware, meta-type inner-jokes humor as an observant book writer describes Mulder/Sherlock’s many weird traits.

Avatar (3x21) - Assistant Director Walter Skinner  is accused of murdering a prostitute, Mulder and Scully investigate to determine the truth behind what happened. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: A fine chance to turn Skinner into Sholto or one of John’s other army friends (Skinner discusses trauma from his days in Vietnam in this episode, which could be adapted to Afghanistan). John Asks for Sherlock’s help on behalf of Sholto/said friend and there’s a thrilling prospect of some good old jealousy :) *After writing this I kinda fell in love with this idea and I might attempt writing this, but I’m absolutely not claiming this exclusively! If you like the idea go ahead!

Paper Hearts (4X08) - Another Vince Gilligan episode, my go-to one these days for when I miss the show and need a good dose of Mulder and Scully. I can go on and on about why I love this episode but I’ll spare you from that right now ;) Mulder and Scully find that a child killer who Mulder had helped to apprehend several years earlier had claimed more victims than he had confessed to; and in the resulting investigation, learn that the killer is now claiming to have killed Mulder's sister Samantha. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: The Alice in Wonderland theme in the episode is somewhat reminiscent of the Hansel and Gretel theme from TRF so Moriarty could be one way to go; another way to go is have Eurus as a villain in a TFP plot fix-it (if you find the Sherrinford plot exaggerated), with Sherlock’s hope of finding Victor’s body by the end of the game.

Zero Sum (4x21) - In the episode, a case Mulder is asked to investigate is covertly covered up by the agents' boss Walter Skinner, who has made a sinister bargain with The Smoking Man. Scully is missing in this episode (Mulder cites her cancer treatments; Gillian Anderson was filming something else at the time). Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: A wonderful opportunity for a Lestrade-as-Skinner story!  (and you’re given a fine chance to write a Lestade naked with nothing but pants situation); Mulder is a bit lost without Scully in this episode so that’s added background Johnlock angst; the story can happen when John is away, either during his honeymoon or after Mary dies.

The Pine Bluff Variant (5x18) - This is an underrated episode which I quite like, personally. Scully grows suspicious of Mulder when she thinks he may be helping a terrorist organization. Scully begins to wonder if he is now a traitor to the FBI. It is eventually revealed that Mulder is working as a mole in the group, and he is trying to stop them before they are able to use a biological weapon—that may have been created by members of the U.S. government—which causes rapid degeneration of human flesh. Cool plot points you might enjoy: alternating POVs between Sherlock and John; a lot of tension between John and Sherlock while John is suspicious; Mycroft recruiting Sherlock to appear as a traitor.

Triangle (6x03) - What can I possibly say about Triangle that hadn’t been said before? Cool plot points you might enjoy: An AU-within-AU opportunity - a chance for John and Sherlock to meet in a WW2 era, saved by rebel-Nazi Lestrade, Sherlock’s irregulars are The Lone Gunmen, a kiss, a punch, “You’re my one in five billion” (remember when there 5 billion people on this planet?) :) If you do write this, please make sure present John and past John pass each other by and get a strange, tingling sensation as a result! It’s one of my favorite scenes in the entire show.

Dreamland I & II (6x04 and 6x05) - Mulder and Scully visit Area 51. But when the agents witness the flight of a mysterious craft, Mulder and a member of the Men in Black switch bodies, unbeknownst to the others. In part two, Scully begins to suspect that her partner's strange behavior is more than it appears to be, while Mulder fights to return his life to normal before it is too late. Cool plot points you might enjoy: Humor, humor and more humor. Mostly Morris Fletcher trying to bed John (=Scully) who promptly pulls a gun on him. That should be an awesome scene to write in and of itself. And let’s not forget “Lately, for lunch, you've been having this six-ounce cup of yogurt, plain yogurt, into which you stir bee pollen because you're on a bee pollen kick even though I tell you you're a doctor and you should know better.“ as well as “I’d kiss you if you weren’t so damn ugly.”

Tithonus (6x09) - Another underrated episode. I think it deals with the theme of death’s inevitability rather beautifully. Scully learns that she, but not Mulder, is being given a chance to prove her worth at the FBI, and—paired with a new partner—she investigates a crime scene photographer with an uncanny knack for arriving just in time to see his victims' final moments. What she does not expect, however, is for Death to play a role himself. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: John exploring on his own, for one reason or another, attached to another investigator (things happen!); this episode further explores a theory referred throughout the show since Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose, that Dana Scully is immortal (she seems to avoid death in this episode as well). It’s an Appointment in Samarra sort of story.

Monday (6x15) - Mulder and Scully are stuck in a deadly time loop. It’s a story that writes itself! Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: Sherlock or John having a really bad morning, over and over again.

Alpha (6x16) - Mulder and Scully investigate several killings blamed on an Asian dog called the Wanshang Dhole, thought to be extinct. Mulder and Scully join an obstinate Sheriff, a seemingly eccentric hunter, and a reclusive canine expert to find it. However, there is more mystery to the expert than meets the eye. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: I enjoy this episode because it has some gentle but obvious MSR moments. Scully is suspicious (and low-key jealous) of Karin Berquist’s involvement in the case and it colors her opinion of the investigation. A key quote in this episode, preformed softly and beautifully by Gillian, is: “She's enamored of you Mulder. Don't underestimate a woman. They can be tricksters, too.”

The Unnatural (6x17) - This is a weird ass episode, let’s admit it. This is DD’s love story to baseball and it’s silly and sometimes boring/slow. BUT, it has lovely MRS moments.  Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: The structure of story within a story (Mulder retells his time spent with Arthur Dales who tells him the story of Josh Exley) is interesting enough. The opening and closing scenes are lovely as well of course!

X-Cops (7x12) - Mulder and Scully are interviewed for the Fox reality television program Cops during an X-Files investigation. Mulder, hunting what he believes to be a werewolf, discovers that the monster terrorizing people instead feeds on fear. While Mulder embraces the publicity of Cops, Scully is more uncomfortable about appearing on national television. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: It’s your chance to write a Sherlock crossver fic about an X-Files crossover episode. If that’s not cool, I don’t no what is.

Hollywood A.D. (7x18) - Let’s admit it, Hollywood A.D is not a good episode, as funny as it is. This episode was one of the first signs the show had lost its edge, possibly because they thought this would be their truly-this-time last season. However, it IS funny and gave rise to fans claims that by this point, Mulder and Scully were Definitely Sleeping Together. Wayne Federman, an entrepreneurial Hollywood producer and college friend of Walter Skinner picks up the idea for a film based on the X-Files, however Mulder and Scully find that the level of realism in their fictional portrayal is somewhat questionable. Meanwhile, during the filming of the movie, Mulder and Scully research the mysterious "Lazarus Bowl", an artifact that supposedly has the exact words that Jesus Christ spoke to raise Lazarus from the dead recorded on its surface. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: Lots of inner-jokes and crack humor, many fluffy moments, the chance to imagine who’ll play Lestrade, Sherlock and John in a BBC Film, Lazarus could refer to The Fall(!), which could be the plot to said film.

The X-Files: I Want to Believe - Mulder and Scully have both left the FBI, but when an FBI agent is mysteriously kidnapped, and a former priest who has been convicted of being a child molester claims to be experiencing psychic visions of the endangered agent, they reluctantly accept the FBI's request for their paranormal expertise. I know, I know. Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t like it either at first, but a) compared to the revival seasons, it’s not that bad and b) in terms of established relationship angst, it’s a fucking goldmine. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: A chance to write a post-recent-retirement fic for Sherlock and John, with a lot of tension in their established relationship based around John’s reluctance to return to their lives as investigators. IWTB has quotes like “This isn't my life anymore, Mulder. I'm done chasing monsters in the dark.” and “This stubbornness of yours, it's why I fell in love with you.”  So there! Don’t dismiss the idea so quickly!

Wow, this turned out longer than I expected! I hope you liked them, and even if you don’t write anything - I definitely enjoyed this exercise.

My finished fics are ready to be read on AO3 :)

[thejustmaiden]

The Sesshomaru F*cks Debacle

Hey, fellow Inuyasha fans! How we feeling?? I imagine a lot of us are doing quite fabulously after the recent news we got about the sequel coming out this Fall, "Hanyou No Yashahime." So if it wasn't obvious already, I want to take the time to discuss the topic of- you guessed it- Sesshomaru. Go figure! 

***THIS IS A REPOST OF MY ORIGINAL BLOG THAT DISAPPEARED FROM THE TAGS. PICS/GIFS HAVE BEEN REMOVED TO HOPEFULLY REPAIR THAT.***

Let's be real, as much as probably (and literally lol) all of us have viewed him as "daddy material" at some point or another during our teens, Sesshomaru being physically intimate with another being, much less a human, is difficult to conjure up in our minds. And there's nothing wrong with that, per se, as sex and romance doesn't come so easily to some as it does to others. Then again, that's not to say a romantic relationship is completely impossible or unattainable for him either. 

I, for one, am not a huge fan of the idea of Sesshomaru siring children of his own. Granted, adopting/protecting children and other small companions is kinda his thing (I saw one user even describe him as a 'walking daycare' 🤣), and maybe it'll just take some getting used to, but all in all it's not entirely unfathomable to picture him having biological children. Though I'd be lying if I said I still didn't prefer he just took these two twin half-demon girls in and under his wing instead, like he did Rin. However, seeing as that's unlikely the case since the two girls resemble him in some fashion, the chances of that coming true are slim, which must mean that Sesshomaru did in fact bone some lucky lady. That's not to say I don't acknowledge that there's still a chance these kids aren't truly his but we'll see! 

Which leads me to the real reason behind this blog! I'd like to address in-depth why I and so many other Inuyasha fans consider shipping S*ssrin as wrong and why it makes a lot of us extremely uncomfortable. 

BUT FIRST BEFORE I FORGET, I want to give a little unofficial disclaimer by stating that this blog isn't intended to upset certain fans regarding my stance on the controversial ship. Thus I will not tag it under that ship name, and I suggest others who agree with me to do the same in any of their future posts. 

Because let's not forget that the most important thing is that we're all fans here. We fell in love with this story and hold its beloved characters close to our hearts for a reason. And that still counts even if you're returning to this fandom a decade later. So please, let's try and remember that and be civil towards one another. Putting people down by attacking and insulting others in real life really doesn't make us any better than them. I REPEAT, please do not engage in this post unless you plan to be kind and respectful of others who may have a differing opinion than you. There's never a need to be ugly towards another human being. That goes for all shippers and fans of Sesshomaru in general. Thank you in advance for your understanding and compliance. 😊

Again, none of these comments are aimed at being inflammatory towards those fans who have a different approach to this pairing. If any of you are reading this now, please keep that in mind before deciding to participate in any discourse with me and other antis. 

Okay, let me go ahead and list a few of the main arguments fans of this particular ship use to support them together. Then I'll give my reasons why those aren't enough to justify their relationship turning romantic:

1. Rin will be an adult before they get romantically involved

2. Sesshomaru didn't raise her and therefore isn't her father; he was never like a father to her in the first place

3. Sesshomaru hasn't been grooming her, not then and not now. Besides, it was Rin's choice first.

4. Age difference shouldn't matter when you look at other relationships in the series (InuKag, Koga x Ayame, etc.)

5. It was always going to be canon because the drama CDs exist

 These are the main points I'm seeing around. Now let's dissect them, shall we? These are my direct responses- I'll try to keep them short and concise. Fyi: Jk! I'm lying, that never happens. 😆

1. Rin may be an adult, but from our standpoint that doesn't make much of a difference. It doesn't matter because it's all about how her relationship with Sesshomaru started off and how it continued onwards. From that moment, it was basically established from the get-go that their relationship resembles that of one a young girl shares with an older man who winds up becoming her guardian. She initiated it by trying to bring him food while he was injured, and he reciprocated by deciding to bring her back to life that fateful day. 

Of course we're all happy that he did, because he's a better demon for it and a similar thing could be said about her! Therefore you must understand that fans against this pairing find it very hard to grasp the notion of a budding romance here when we look at their history. For us, it's synonymous to imagining a father eventually falling in love with his daughter or someone else who reminds him of a daughter, and vice versa. But let's just say he's not a father to her like many of you claim and more like, say a modern-day babysitter. Isn't it still bizarre to you that a young girl could fall in love with the man who looked after her and cared for her at that age, maybe even played games with? One day or on multiple occasions he even sees her naked because she had an accident and got hurt so she needed help changing or something. I admit it's more realistic that it was Jaken if anyone who'd be in charge of this, but why does it really matter who was tasked with what? Sesshomaru may have not been around all the time but that doesn't mean he's any less involved or invested in Rin's general care and well-being. So it's that thought alone that keeps many of us from even contemplating a romance forming between them. Whether he hardly interacted with her over the years or not is irrelevant, because it's clear to me that they have both formed a strong enough bond that constitutes calling them family. I highly doubt he ever even planned to keep Rin in his company as long as he did. But it happened, and whether you want to admit it or not, meeting her changed his life. Meaning Rin was never just some girl he traveled with or hardly knew. Despite his feigned indifference and stoic ways at times, I'm pretty sure we can all agree that Rin grew on him and was the first person to really influence him in a way that helped soften and open up that heart of his in a way nobody ever had before. One's significance to any given person isn't solely measured by the quantity of time spent alongside that person but by the quality of how that time was spent with said person. It's safe to say that in the case of Sesshomaru and Rin, they definitely fall under that category. 

2. Fair if you don't view Sesshomaru as Rin's father, but you must acknowledge that he did fill some father figure-like role to her at the very least. Or let's just call him her vassal if you think that's a more accurate description. Also, can I just quickly stress again that it doesn't matter how long she spent by his side or whether she spent more time in the village or not, because he still ended up playing a major part in her childhood as an adult male role model. Regardless of the title you give him, it still stands that although he may not be her official adoptive father, he is LIKE A FATHER. There really is no point in denying that, because their dynamic exudes one of a father-daughter. I guarantee you that any outsider looking in would agree that if not her father then at the very least he embodies a male relative of some kind. Honestly, the details of their relationship dynamic specific to this show (regional/period differences, human vs. demon culture, etc.), don't really matter here. Why? Because one can assume that the general consensus here is that a large percentage of fans perceive their connection as a familial one. Yes, most would unanimously agree that Rin and Sesshomaru, along with Jaken and Ah-Un, are a FAMILY. 

If she had first met him as an adult, then we'd possibly have a very different story here. The point of the matter is that he didn't, so that should be where this discussion ends. Unfortunately, for many, it's not. The bottom line is that a child he knew and cared for should never be someone he begins to view in a romantic light. I don't care how many years have passed (or that to demons years are like days or some less inconsequential length of time), and how much she's matured or how specific marriage customs were back then (if they're no longer appropriate now then why are we still condoning these backward practices?). Rin should NEVER have the desire to be sexually attracted to this father figure she's always looked to and trusted to protect her. Maybe it's vastly different from a demon's perspective (even though still unjustifiable in my opinion), but as a human, Rin's feelings towards Sesshomaru wouldn't and shouldn't suddenly change towards him and in such a drastic manner mind you. Yeah, maybe she used to have an innocent crush on him, but I'd like to think our smart and compassionate little Rin would learn that was simply because she was a child who didn't know any better. Besides, growing up with Kaede and around other humans I'd like to think she fell in love with another human sometime over the course of all those years. It only makes sense, right? Don't you think that's part of why Sesshomaru left her there in the first place? He wished for her to experience what it was like to live a normal human life, falling in love and marriage both being a key part of that. If I were Sesshomaru, I'd be deeply troubled if I started to develop feelings for a little girl I once protected and kept in my company for quite an extended period of time, which was at least a year from what I understand. (Pls correct me if I'm wrong because I gather it may have been longer.) 

3. Apparently in the manga and the Final Act, we see Sesshomaru still visits the village to check on Rin from time to time. He even brings her gifts, such as beautiful and luxurious kimonos. I recently learned from another Tumblr post that kimonos are what older men gift in order to sort of earn their favor with these young ladies, AKA they're wooing them. If that is indeed true, then that would mean he's basically grooming her and has been for however long she's lived there in the village but potentially even longer. To put it nicely, he's courting her. If this was another young lady (maybe not an adult perhaps but still of marrying age) who he DIDN'T assist in raising, then I could possibly get on board with this.

The thing is, it's far from that with them two if you consider everything they've gone through and endured together! Because he not only met her as a young girl but he got to know her first as a young girl, and she became one of his traveling companions all while she was only a young girl!!! Their bond will always be defined by that time when she was just a young girl, and nothing can or should change that he will always see her in that same light. Kinda like how our parents or other family members from older generations tell us that they'll always see us as their babies. So the fact that her time spent with Sesshomaru is constantly compared to her time spent in the village shouldn't apply here. Don't we all know this already? That we can can come across someone in our lifetime and maybe the time with them is short-lived, but that doesn't make it any less significant or those people any less special. Sesshomaru made an impact on her as much as she did on him, that much we know is true. Sure, it was years ago, but that's not something you ever forget. Sometimes when you look at loved ones you haven't seen in a while, there are just certain memories you have of them from over the years that will come rushing back to you without fail and that you will always cherish no matter what. I'd like to believe that when Rin looks at Sesshomaru and he looks at her, that they can both look back fondly on their times traveling together. This explains why I'm really struggling here to picture how anyone could sleep with someone they used to treat as their guardian/father/ward/daughter/what have you. So someday and somehow, this person just stops viewing them that way, is that it? I mean, how does this work exactly? It's not like you can just flip off a switch and forget everything from your past with this person, ya know? Unless you have your memory wiped, what I'm understanding is that S*ssrin shippers approve of the idea of these two characters KNOWING that they are or used to be like practically FAMILY to each other, yet agree that these two characters in question still have the capacity not to mention desire to pursue HAVING SEX with each other anyway. Do I got that all right? Did I miss anything?  

Originally I provided two examples of fan art I found to help put what I'm trying to say here into better perspective, but since they've been removed, just type in "Sesshomaru and Rin" on Google and you'll find plenty of examples of what I'm talking about here- and no, it's not S*ssrin images. I realize Sesshomaru has never been the touchy-feely sorta guy like it's depicted in some of the fan art, but that doesn't necessarily diminish the affection he feels and attachment he has towards Rin. He just has a different way of expressing his love is all, even if he doesn't outwardly show it. The real question here is, can you really look at sweet pictures of an adult comforting a child who's been under his care for a significant amount of time and then suddenly be like, "oh man, I can't wait till they bang!" I'm sorry, to each their own, but you gotta admit why we must find that creepy. 

4. Regarding Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship, we need to remember that he didn't age after all those years stuck to that tree. And besides, demons age differently so this is a pretty unfair comparison. This isn't the best example, but think about how a cat's lifespan works. 10 years in (indoor) cat years is like 56 in human years. So technically in demon years, Inuyasha is physically and emotionally compatible with a human around Kagome's age. Hell, even though he's over a hundred years older, Kagome is still a whole lot more mature than he probably ever will be! 😂 (Psst! We still love you, Inuyasha! 💋)

Now as for Koga and Ayame, this also isn't comparable to Sesshomaru and Rin. Koga met Ayame one night, only not to see her ever again until she was older and of age. After rescuing her on that night when she was only a girl, he gives her a piggyback ride and you can tell he just wants to cheer her up when he mentions her being his wife someday. (And boy, did that work wonders on Ayame!) Then they gaze at this stunning lunar rainbow together, which I think is quite rare judging by looks of it. This is not an attempt to defend this proposal- if we can even really call it that- but all I'm saying is that I don't think even Koga knows what overcame him in that moment. Fast forward to present-day when they cross paths again, and Ayame still remembers his so-called promise, but guess who doesn't right away? Yep, our man Koga! It takes a quite a while for it to come back to him, too. This further proves my point that something beyond Koga and his power possessed him to say all those things to a little Ayame for some reason. Maybe you can call it destiny, or maybe it was some special kind of magic caused by the lunar rainbow, Idk! All I know is that they do end up together in the Final Act and that it wasn't until they met as two consenting wolf-demons that they really grew to know each other and coincidentally- or maybe not so coincidentally- fall in love.

 5. From what I understand, it appears these drama CDs are some kind of satire which doesn't equate to canon. Perhaps Rumiko did not debunk them but she also didn't confirm they're true either. I'm hearing conflicting reports, however, and her involvement in them is questionable. Like her name is supposedly on the cover or something? But then I've also heard that she has spoken out against this ship. From the sounds of it, there is enough evidence- or lack thereof rather- to conclude that fans cannot use this as proof enough for their ship already being or soon-to-be canon. 

Finally, I'd like to end on this note where I'll be addressing ethics in entertainment. When it comes to our choice of entertainment, there's always a level of escapism implied, sometimes so much that we project ourselves onto certain characters. Delving into a fantasy world like that of Inuyasha can really help some people better cope with real life problems, but it's all about striking the right balance, as each individual has different wants and needs. The thing is there's only so much escapism one can allow in a fictional world before basic morals from our own world begin to take precedence. I can always enjoy some good fantasy, but it's not long until I start to reflect on how I personally relate what entertainment I'm currently absorbed in to real life. It's inevitable really. For example, if certain relationships portrayed on screen conflict with strong opinions I've adopted on a sensitive topic, especially those that take children into account, then I feel it's my responsibility to speak out against any media that even remotely promotes it. Yes, even if it's just fiction. Because art imitates life, right? (And yes, sometimes the other way around.) So in other words, our stories should mirror our way of life to some degree. History has seen its fair share of ugly events and traditions we are surely ashamed of but that we've hopefully learned our lessons from. Most societies nowadays seriously frown upon or condemn stuff like pedophilia, child grooming, or anything of the sort. Of course it doesn't help that we see still see these kinds of issues glossed over so much that we've become desensitized to them in many respects.

The thing is we cannot allow this way too common older-man-dotes-on-young-girl trope (or anything resembling it) to continue to be glorified or romanticized. It matters not that feudal Japan was a drastically different time to be alive and that this was the norm back then, or even that this remains a popular ship in Japan. All it comes down to is if whether we would currently tolerate such acts and behaviors were we to witness them in real life. If your answer is 'no', then it should be 'no' in every respect. If you deem it acceptable just because it's fiction, then I'm sorry to say, but you're going to have to answer to a lot of people. No surprise there, that goes for all fandoms. I guarantee you it's not just the people who personally identify as victims who have serious qualms with this ship either, because you don't necessarily need to have bad experiences of your own in order sympathize and see where a lot of these people are coming from. And no, just because I'm unhappy with the possibility of S*ssrin going canon does not mean I'm whining or that I'm attempting to spread negativity about this series before it's even out. Remember, fans have the right to be critical of whatever content it is they're watching/reading, and if they demand something in the storytelling be represented better, then of course they can challenge that. After all, none of us should feel like "canceling" the content we love is our only hope to fixing a story. That's not how it ever should be. Fans are fed up, and can you really blame them? Nah, we can strive to do better in this area, plus it's not like there isn't always room for improvement. So let's please be more vigilant about how the content we consume translates to reality, in addition to being mindful of how it can directly correlate to real life problems for ourselves as well as others around us.  

That's a wrap, y'all!! I hope you enjoyed what I had to offer on this topic, and here's hoping I actually contributed something new to this conversation! I'm aware that that's unlikely the case for us fans who've been living in this tag the past couple days (like me lol), but I'd like to believe I put my own spin on it and it was still worth your while. 😉 

P.S. Overall, I remain optimistic about the new show! So are there any friendly Inuyasha group chats on Tumblr I can join? If so, please do invite me! I need to obsess about this sequel even more than I already am, EEEK!!!

[watching-movies-alone]

Knives Out (2019)

Knives Out was released to theatres in late 2019, following the mixed reactions to writer/director Rian Johnson's 2017 The Last Jedi addition in the Star Wars sequel trilogy arc. While many hated The Last Jedi, and may have adopted less-than-favourable opinions on Rian Johnson because of it, I think we can all agree that Knives Out beyond redeems him.

Benoit Blanc: It's a weird case from the start. A case with a hole in the centre. A doughnut.

Knives Out opens with a surreal shot of two dogs running over a slight hill away from an outstanding house, which becomes known as the Thrombey Estate. Straight off the bat, the shots used throughout the film are outstanding, and paired with an eerie, intense, soundtrack of a string orchestra, the scenes are striking. Add that to the witty, culturally relevant one-liners and the hilariously blatant lies about the situation of the family members themselves, you get an incredible watch.

Benoit Blanc: Why is grief the providence of youth? I don't know. But I'd imagine that age deepens all feelings.

Cinematographer Steve Yedlin (The Last Jedi, Carrie, Looper) procured fantastic shots for Knives Out that gives it an enticing quality that makes each scene a work of art in its own. 

The movie is listed on IMDb as a "Drama/Crime/Comedy", which shows the film's appeal to audiences from a variety of backgrounds: it suits drama lovers, mystery junkies, the almost effortlessly funny script draws in viewers from a large spectrum of senses of humour, and cinephiles will adore the visual aspect of the film, as well as the superb soundtrack composed by Nathan Johnson (Rian Johnson's cousin).

Following the murder investigation of 85 year-old mystery author Harlan Thrombey, his eccentric family faces questioning about the night of his death. Among those questioned are Linda Drysdale, the fabulous self-made head of a real estate firm and daughter of Harlan, her husband Richard Drysdale, son Walt Thrombey, the unsatisfied head of the Blood Like Wine publishing company for his father's books, Joni Thrombey, the widowed daughter-in-law with a quirky disposition that remains close to the family, and caregiver Marta Cabrera, a registered nurse for Harlan, and his friend.

[Marta and Harlan are playing "Go"]

Harlan Thrombey: I don't know how you beat me at this every time.

Marta Cabrera: I'm not trying to beat you. I'm creating a beautiful pattern.

Harlan Thrombey: That's elder abuse. I'm calling the AARP.

Marta Cabrera: Don’t make me get the belt.

And let's not forget an extraordinary performance by renowned actor Daniel Craig as Detective Benoit Blanc, with one of the strangest, but most endearing Southern accents I've heard. 

Adding to this is an unexpected, but no less stellar, performance by known Marvel franchise actor Chris Evans, who portrays the troubled, but quite fashionable, Hugh Ransom Drysdale, who finds hilarity in his family’s shock at the changes his grandfather made to his will a week before his death. It is in contempt of the privileged, spoiled, Ransom, actually, that draws the frequently divided Thrombey family together.

A memorable performance by actress Ana De Armas (Marta Cabrera) brought a beautiful character to the front of the screen, with truly beautiful shots like the ones below:

Another phenomenal thing about the film is the colour palette used. It is a balance of warm, earthy tones, that give a sense of familiarity as well as of the comforts of home one would look for. This juxtaposes the intricacies of the death at hand, and serves to add to the feeling of discomfort and hostility, as the dark underlying mystery lurks within a beautifully furnished house and within a troubled, yet somehow sincere, family.

Below it all, the central message of Knives Out is one of kindness. This is handled expertly, as it does not come across as overbearing, nor cheesy. It is the story of an older man who finds comfort in a nurse, who is more of a friend, and how he makes the decision to leave his family out of his will, leaving everything to her. His family is a mess, yes, but it is the genuine kindness of Marta Cabrera that he finds happiness in, so he decides to leave her everything. From the beautiful heart that is Marta Cabrera, to the real reasons surrounding the death of the wealthy mystery author being to protect her and her family at the expense of his own, it is truly a heartwarming story. 

When comparing sons Ransom (Richard’s disaster son) and Jacob (Walt’s Nazi child), and about Jacob’s whereabouts:

Walt Thrombey: He was in the bathroom Richard Drysdale: Joylessly masturbating to pictures of dead deer. Walt Thrombey: Ok, you wanna go?

ALSO a huge shout-out is in order for the set department. The set design, especially all of the subtle touches within the Thrombey house at 2 Deerborn Drive,  is phenomenal, and really reinforces all that is happening in the foreground without being distracting. The Gothic touches in the architecture, the clever paintings on the walls, and the little statuettes flanking every hallway and surface bring the serious, but whimsical, manor alive. The Set Design was headed by David Schlesinger, who also worked on Twilight: Breaking Dawn parts 1 and 2, and John Wick chapters 2 and 3. 

Can we take a minute to appreciate how beautiful that knife array is?

And even yet, there is still the multitude of current-day references: with the Nazi child (Jacob Thrombey, portrayed by Jaeden Martell), and the discussions held by Joni Thrombey and Richard Drysdale about the situation at America’s border, and the conflicts between the youngest generation: Meg Thrombey being quipped at by her cousins Ransom and Jacob for being liberal while the rest of the family seems to swing conservative. Even a reference to Hamilton made it to the script, which I had a good moment at, multiple references to Instagram and others that, while dating the film to 2019, made it especially enjoyable for younger audiences and moviegoers alike.

Marta Cabrera: I've never been to a will reading before.

Benoit Blanc: You'd think it'd be like a game show, but think of a community production of a tax return.

The costuming was also excellent, with memorable pieces being worn by Lisa Drysdale and Ransom Drysdale in particular, as well as the dashing Detective Blanc. 

(The suit you wear to debate at your father’s memorial)

(The outfit you wear to the will-reading despite being gone for the funeral)

Benoit Blanc: But the complexity and the grey lie not in the truth but what you do with the truth once you have it.

And while the characters changed their clothes as the days passed in the film, the outfits they wore tended to fit their personalities, so even if you couldn’t remember names or faces, the outfits would clue you in to the character subtly, while giving many inspirations for their own day-to-day mystery aesthetics. Major props to Costume Designer Jenny Eagan for that.

Earning a respectable 8.0/10 on IMDb, Knives Out has already secured its spot in the minds of viewers and critics alike, despite only being out since November of 2019. If you haven’t seen it yet, I would highly recommend seeing it. 

Final rating:

Cinematography: 90

Screenplay: 95

Delivery: 95

Average: 93.33%,  A

[unexpectedreylo]

Here It Is:  My Spoilerific Review/Post Mortem of TROS

When I saw The Last Jedi two years ago, the movie haunted me for days, for weeks, for months.  It inspired the imagination, dragging me into the world of Reylo and reassuring whatever reservations I had about the post-Lucas sequel trilogy.

The Rise of Skywalker haunts me too but more in a “Demon House” kind of way.  It fires up the imagination, but more in the sense that it keeps you up at night thinking of all of the ways it could’ve been better.

This isn’t to say I hate the movie.  I don’t.  It’s not even entirely or mostly bad which is what makes it extra frustrating.  You can laugh your way through a total disaster like “Cats” or “The Room” but a movie with plenty of promise and of talent behind it that makes some bad decisions is tragic.  Especially since this is the closing chapter to a trilogy and the saga itself.

You can see there are bones for what could’ve been a really good, maybe even great movie.  One of my favorite parts was the opener where Kylo Ren literally descends into hell/the underworld to confront the devil for no other reason than he didn’t even want Satan above him, a man who serves no gods or devils.   (That right there is a classic Byronic hero.)  Exogol is a great haunted house/spooky setting.  The revelation that it was Palpatine manipulating him all along was a shocker and makes Ben’s story that much more poignant.  I also really liked the contrast with Rey’s introduction, a beautiful shot of her in the verdant forest floating among rocks as she’s meditating.  She is Persephone in her element (which makes the ending all that more baffling but don’t worry, I’m getting to that).

This sets the stage for the revelation that the two are part of an intriguing concept, a Force dyad, kind of a Star Wars version of soulmates maybe even twin flames.  The two just had to acknowledge the feelings between them, reunite, and take out the Sith trash while Rey finally confronts her own dark side.   I don’t mind the latter concept at all because with the trilogy’s thickest plot armor, I think it’s valuable to put her in some peril and to have her better understand Kylo/Ben.

Abrams also wanted to recapture the feel of 1980s blockbusters like the Indiana Jones films or The Goonies, both made by his old mentor Steven Spielberg.  That’s most palpable when the Space Scoops Troop, er “trio,” falls into quicksand and pokes around an underground cave looking for one of the film’s many MacGuffins.  Abrams does good set pieces and powers them along with snappy dialogue.  Like TFA, it’s peppered with some genuinely funny scenes.

If nothing else, you can’t blame the cast for any of the film’s problems.  Everyone does the best they can with what they’re given and the long-standing chemistry between various pairs (Adam and Daisy, John and Oscar, Adam and Harrison Ford for example) do a lot to serve their scenes.  I think Oscar’s best scene was when he confesses to Leia lying in state that he doesn’t know if he can be the leader the Resistance needs.  It’s an honest, human moment.  Daisy continues to infuse Rey with her natural luminance.  I particularly liked the few quiet moments she has, such as meeting the children on Pasaana or healing the snake.  It shows her compassion and foreshadows healing Ben.

Daisy does pretty well with what she is given about struggling with her dark side.  (Remember, she didn’t write her own screenplay.)  Maybe it’s unpopular to say this but I kind of liked her brief turn as “Dark Rey.”  I have no doubt had she turned dark she would be pretty scary.  Her desire for revenge and fear of her own nature--driven by genetics or not--were intriguing concepts and I thought she tried to make the most of it in her performance.

Ah Adam Driver.  God bless that man.  He brings his considerable A-game 100% of the time no matter what and it shows.  He could sell sand on Tatooine.  I have no idea why they put the mask back on him other than a marketing department decision as I suspected, but taking it off when he’s making his appeal to Rey before she leaps out to the Falcon carries a gravity few people can pull off.  His reconciliation with Han was one of the film’s highlights.  For once the repetitive nature of the script actually worked in TROS’s favor, as Kylo retraces his steps in that fateful scene from TFA and finds a way to clear his conscience.  I also think this was originally meant to help the audience forgive him, especially since right after this he renounces the dark side.  Which makes later choices baffling, which I’ll get to.  Driver’s shiniest shining moment though is when he is once again Ben Solo.  Deprived of dialogue for the rest of the film other than “ow,” he nevertheless manages to convey a different personality that is very much Han Solo’s son.  His fight scene is right out of a 1970s martial arts movie, imbued with determination and sass.  I want to see a trilogy about THAT guy.

The Reylo scenes are, well, until it goes south, wonderful.  Some of us would’ve  preferred a lot less fighting but I see it as mostly Rey trying to deny herself and Kylo not being sure if he really wants Rey to turn to the dark side.  (On that note, I wish we’d seen Rey’s vision of sharing a throne with Kylo rather than just hear her talk about it.)   As I predicted, the turning point of the relationship came after the lightsaber battle on the Death Star wreckage.  I find it interesting that Kylo hesitates to kill Rey--partially because of his mother’s influence--and it’s she who could’ve killed him.  She immediately recognizes the dark side was turning her into something she didn’t want to be and nearly costs her the man that deep down she loves.  She heals him completely and along with her confession that she would’ve taken Ben’s hand, his soul is nearly healed by the power of love alone.  Which makes the film’s later choices baffling.  If you think about it, Ben’s turn is even more dramatic than Vader’s.  Vader chose his son over the Emperor at the last minute, some inkling of his light still there shining through at the right moment under duress.  Ben flat out rejects the dark side of his own volition.  That is pretty powerful.  Which makes the ending far more painful.

Rey and Ben’s one big romantic moment was tender and sweet and that was a pretty good kiss.  We finally get to see Ben’s big toothy grin.  Even though we all hate it, Driver did an amazing job conveying first his sorrow over Rey, then his relief, his joy, his love, and finally his strength leaving him.

Visually, the film looks great.  I think J.J. did an even better job shooting this film than TFA.  Adding to the visuals is the fabulous art direction.  They hired supervising art director Paul Inglis immediately after his previous flick Blade Runner 2049 came out, and that decision paid off.  This leaves the film with a number of beautifully-rendered scenes, whether it’s the haunted house scary underworld beneath Exogol, Kylo Ren’s starkly white quarters, the landscapes of Pasaana, the stormy seas around the Death Star II’s wreckage, the shot of Rey hesitating in the Star Destroyer’s hangar before leaping out to the Falcon, or Rey meditating among the floating rocks during her introduction.

I liked D-O and Babu Frick.  I even liked the lady who complimented Kylo’s helmet.  

Where do I start having problems?  The first time I saw the movie the scenes with Leia didn’t bother me but the second time I saw it, it was far more apparent they wrote around the bits of footage they had left.  It was a valiant effort to make Carrie Fisher part of the last film she never had the chance to perform in but it didn’t feel organic.  Since Leia dies during the movie anyway, I don’t know why having her pass away offscreen in between TLJ and TROS is less merciful to the audience than having her body lie beneath a sheet for half the film.  No wonder Billie Lourd skipped the premiere of this flick.  I couldn’t take it if it were my mother either.

On my second viewing, the Resistance base scenes started to get on my nerves.  Maybe it’s because I got tired of looking at the same group of like 10 people over and over.  Maybe I was annoyed that the only purpose of those scenes was to earnestly spout exposition.  Now, exposition is important.  I’m surprised Abrams, notorious for not bothering with it even if it’s necessary, even did this much.  But there was something about George Lucas’s Rebel base scenes that made these people look and act like guerrilla soldiers.  Maybe it was Lucas’s experience shooting films with Navy guys as a student, or his documentary style.  Abrams’s Resistance behave more like college students and activists than soldiers.  

But TROS’s biggest problems lie in its breakneck pacing and its writing.  Parts that should’ve had greater emotional resonance don’t because it moves along too fast.  I would’ve sacrificed one of the set pieces/action scenes or chuck one of the pointless new characters for the sake of deepening the relationship between Kylo and Rey or showing us more Ben Solo.

Some of the characterizations seemed off.  I know a lot of fans are deeply unhappy Rose Tico didn’t get to do much but I was surprised to see her in it even to the degree she was there.  What gets me about the whole Rose thing was her relationship with Finn is totally forgotten FOR NO REASON.  Really, why drop it?  There was no narrative purpose for doing so!  

General Hux is totally wasted in this film, reduced to little more than a cameo.  Sure it might be a surprising twist that “I am the spy!!!” (LOL) but his reasons for it are totally OOC.  He might despise Kylo Ren but to the point of helping the Resistance?  This is the guy who cheerfully blew up the Hosnian Prime system and wanted to blow up more.  He’s evil, a psychopath, a true believer in the First Order.  He might give the Resistance a tip that would result in embarrassing Kylo Rey and use that to start a coup against him but just helping the Resistance out of petulance and spite?  Nah.

Poe tries in this film to be a combination of rogue and deadly earnest idealist, but you generally don’t find those two qualities in the same person.  One second he’s talking about smuggling space dope, the next second he’s saying stuff like “Good people will fight if we lead them!”

Finn, God love him, is reduced to largely running around yelling, “Reeeey!” and eagerly trying to tell Rey something but the film never really got around to what it was.  It wasn’t until a Q&A session that Abrams revealed Finn was trying to tell Rey he was Force sensitive (something that should’ve been developed over the course of the trilogy).  Abrams had time to show us a random lesbian kiss for representation points, but no time for Finn to tell Rey he was Force sensitive?  Huh?

The story not only contradicts the previous films--I wonder if Abrams even saw his own movie TFA much less anything else besides the OT--it contradicts itself throughout.  Palpatine’s return is never really explained and his motives with Rey keep changing.  MacGuffins are added on top of MacGuffins with side missions thrown in.  Chewbacca is blown up then he’s miraculously alive on another transport we didn’t see.  Abrams and Chris Terrio didn’t just add to Rey’s origins, they blatantly spackled over it and TLJ’s overall message.  Discovering one is of evil origins is a gothic storytelling trope but really, it should’ve been developed since the first film so it doesn’t feel like whiplash from something else.  Everyone keeps telling Rey don’t be afraid of who you really are, but Rey ultimately does nothing but run from who she really is.  With each reversal, retcon, or contradiction in the film, it leaves a mess.  We’re supposed to believe Rey was better off sold to Unkar Plutt than be with her not-so-bad parents?   Who the bloody hell had sex with Darth Sidious?  You mean to tell me Luke and Leia knew all along Rey was a Palpatine but they never bothered to say anything and somehow they had more confidence in her than in their own flesh and blood?  Oh while we’re at it, I noticed the second time I saw the movie they straight up gave away Ben’s death before it happened!  WTF?  “Leia saw her son’s death at the end of her Jedi path.”  It seems like Luke and Leia were resigned to Ben’s fate as some horrible destiny that couldn’t be changed but Rey was still an open book to them.  That’s so stupid and really fellow OT fans, how does this respect our childhood faves?  Han comes off as the only decent person in this thing.

Rey and Ben taking on the Emperor was a great applause moment, the dyad unified against the ultimate evil.  For the most part it was fantastic...until The Yeetening.  Two things annoy me about the remainder of the conflict against Palpatine.  One, Rey and Ben should have destroyed Palpatine together.  If Rey could do it on her own then what the hell did she need Ben for?  He could’ve sat out the rest of the movie at Starbucks and remained alive while Rey killed Palps on her own.  There’s no point to their combined power because it wasn't necessary.  Two, while poor redeemed I-turned-back-to-the-light Ben was crawling up the pit with no help from anyone, every good guy we ever knew of in Star Wars, even from the cartoons, is giving a voice over pep talk to Rey.  (It seems cheap too since we don’t see the characters.  Avengers Endgame did this kind of thing far better.)  How about if the pep talk was given to the BOTH of them?  That Anakin Skywalker, the man Ben had idolized, had time to say “wakey-wakey” to his tormentor’s granddaughter and not his own grandson is appalling.  The third thing is while Darth Vader defeated Palpatine with the love for his son and his long-gone wife, Rey defeats Palpatine simply with power.  Rey and Ben’s love for each other could’ve been the force that defeats the Sith once and for all but for some reason it doesn’t occur to Abrams and Terrio.

I could’ve forgiven most of this--the jar of Snickles and all--had they got the resolution right.  But they didn’t.

ROTJ and ROTS’s endings were masterful.  ROTJ gives you an idea of what trajectory our heroes were likely to follow:  Han and Leia were going to end up together, Luke was going to bring forth the next generation of Jedi.  ROTS sets up Obi-Wan on Tatooine, Yoda on Dagobah, Leia on Alderaan, Luke on Tatooine, Darth Vader on a Star Destroyer, and poor Padmé on her way to Star Wars Heaven.  I have no idea what happens to Finn.  Maybe he’ll train with Rey.  Maybe he’ll go to college.  Maybe he’ll backpack through Europe.  I have no idea.  His story just stops.  Same deal with Poe.  Aside from getting shot down by Zorii, what’s he going to do?  The film gives zero indication.  It goes from the Free Hugs session to Rey squatting at the old Lars homestead.

The biggest crimes though occur to Ben and Rey.  Ben’s death sucked all of the air out of the film.  Yes, it’s beautiful that Ben loved Rey so much and so selflessly he was willing to surrender his life for hers.     It’s beautiful that it never mattered to Ben who Rey was, whether it was “nobody” in the last movie or the granddaughter of his tormentor/enemy in this one.  Had the Palpatine concept been there all along, there would’ve been something sweet about healing the rift originating in the prequels.  But I wanted Ben to live.  I wanted for once for someone to address the issue of atonement but Terrio and Abrams were too lazy to bother.   If The Grinch could be redeemed AND find atonement with those he wronged in a 30 minute Christmas special with commercials, then why not Ben Solo in a 150-minute movie?  

I could have lived with a sacrifice arc though had it been handled correctly.  But they flubbed it big time.  The sacrifice isn’t honored at all.  He just dies, he vanishes as Leia’s body vanishes, and he’s “never to be seen again.” Or mentioned.  Rey barely reacts on camera.  It’s as though reviving Ben from certain death, choosing good over evil, making a valiant attempt to save his girlfriend armed only with a blaster, and giving his life for hers weren’t valued by anyone.  The movie didn’t give a damn.  When Vader died in ROTJ, he at least had final words with Luke who then burns Vader’s remains on a pyre.  We see Anakin restored to his true self join the Force Ghost crew at the end of the movie.  We got none of this with Ben.

It’s also the most frustrating and disappointing disruption of a romantic arc since 1980′s “Somewhere In Time.”  In that film, Christopher Reeve travels back to 1912 and finds true love with Jane Seymour.  Everything is going great and Reeve’s character has made the choice to stay in that time and marry Seymour.  Then he pulls out a 1979 penny and is sent “back to the future” as Seymour screams.  At least that film though had the decency to reunite the love birds in the afterlife.  Which might explain why the movie still has a cult following to this day.  Tragic love stories always make sure there’s some kind of catharsis for the audience.  Rose takes Jack’s name, lives her life as he asked her to do for him, tells his story, and reunites with him when she dies.  Romeo and Juliet are united in death and the healing of their respective houses begins.  Even Padmé got a state funeral and had the legacy of her children.  There was no such catharsis for Rey and Ben.

Rey ends up right where she started:  alone and in the desert.  She got the Dorothy ending, there’s no place like home.  But the difference is Dorothy is a child not yet ready for the big scary world and the answers to her problems weren’t out there but right where she was.  Rey is a grown woman.  She should’ve been treated like one.  Instead she is deprived of her lover/soulmate and while such a separation should have been painful, it doesn’t even register.  She has a “found family” but they’re not there with her.  She’s in a home others tried to escape from, haunted by ghosts instead of being among those she loves.  Taking the Skywalker name seems tacked on, as though they realized if the name is to live on somebody needed to take it.  Why not then just have made her Han and Leia’s or Luke’s daughter in the first place?  It’s worse when you remember it’s a Palpatine who’s usurping the name.  Or when you realize she’s still hiding who she is.  

Here’s what would’ve been better.  Rey tells the Resistance about the pure selflessness of the Skywalkers and she wants that to be the core value of the new Jedi going forward, where every new student was going to learn their story.  Then we see her anywhere but Tatooine, happy and surrounded by students of all ages.  Maybe Finn training too.  She sees the approving Force ghosts of Leia, Luke, and Anakin.  Then Ben, clearly a different entity, materializes beside her.

Or something, anything other than what we got.

It’s as though they kept making story decisions without giving any thought at all to their implications.  They tried to do too much while being lazy about it.  They went for expedience--copy pasting ROTJ when convenient--over meaning.

The ending accomplishes what no other Star Wars film has done to me in 42 years of being a fan...it broke my heart and fulfilled my worst suspicions about where the ST was going to end up, largely due to its deflating ending and terrible denouement.  It leaves for me and many other fans a big gaping open wound, not closure.  

Ultimately the sequel trilogy’s biggest flaw is that there clearly was no plan.  What we got was a billion dollar game of exquisite cadaver with no real design for characters, their arcs, the story, or even what message these films are supposed to have.  Every decision was based on the director’s own ideas along with corporate meddling.  So we get conflicting ideas and blatant spackling over what the last director didn’t like. Was Kylo Ren meant to be a guy we love to hate or a lost boy we want to come home?   Was Rey a heroine we can all aspire to be or a lost princess of darkness?  What the hell was the point of Finn or Poe?  What does this add to the saga overall aside from more stuff?  Who are these films even for, old OT fans or young fans?  I believe it’s this lack of a plan that has generated so much confusion and bitter internet wars among fandom.  

[darlingpetao3]

Seducing the Gem (Nash Wells x Reader, Chapter 1/9)

Rating: M (Smut in Chapter 6 only)

Summary: When a mysterious package shows up at your front door, you (a famous Romance novelist) are hurtled from your virtually uneventful life and into one of danger and adventure. In a quest to save your captured friend Caitlin from impending harm, you run into a suave adventurer named Nash who helps you along the way. Or is the charming Nash simply after something in your possession...?

A/N: My Romancing the Stone AU is finally here!! Again, check out the film if you haven’t already (it’s one of my favourites). This has been such a fun series for me to write and I really hope you enjoy it! Major MAJOR thanks to @mintchipcupcake​ for being my beta-reader for this story! (You’re amazing!!) Let me know if any of you would like to be tagged for upcoming chapters. There will be nine installments total and I will do my best to post every Tuesday.

The altered-human stood before me, looming in the shadows of my apartment. His fists glowed with the light of a thousand suns.

“I know who you are,” his voice croaked. A shiver ran down my back. Yes, I was only in my lace nighty, but I was by no means cold.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I feigned innocence. He took calculated steps towards me, and I knew I’d have to act quickly. This guy was not about to try to kill me a second time.

Luckily, ‘acting quickly’ was something I was exceptional at doing.

The brusque altered-human grunted, then lunged at me with a fiery fist. Little did he know that wouldn’t do much.

I saw the punch coming as if it was in slow motion and dodged his attack, watching his hand glide by my head at a turtle’s pace. I let the momentum return to normal before grabbing his wrist and uttering, “You came to the wrong house, pal.”

It was easy to flip him; he made a thump on my hardwood floor and groaned at the impact. I took that opportunity to run circles around him so fast that I could feel the electricity coursing through my veins until it culminated into a bolt of lightning in my hand.

Power up, baby.

I let the bolt fly, dead straight, until it connected with the altered-human’s chest. He shouted, and the impact of the shot hurtled him out my window to the street below.

There was a commotion outside - voices of distressed concern. I knew I’d be in some serious shit, and not just because I threw a man out my window.

I’d be locked up for being an altered-human too.

There was no time to collect any personal items, just my coat, and I knew my powers wouldn’t work again right away. It always took a while for them to store back up. The sirens already blared, announcing the authorities’ arrival. I climbed out the window of my bedroom and shimmied down the fire escape. Only, in my haste, my bare foot slipped and I lost my hold on the wet metal ladder. I screamed for what I thought would be my final act as a living being.

But there was suddenly a big, muscular arm wrapped around my nearly naked self. The wind whipped at my face, blowing my hair every which way. It wasn’t until I was safely set on the ground that I finally saw the face of my swinging saviour. But I’d know that touch anywhere.

My beloved Chase. The one man I trusted. The only real man in this godforsaken city.

“Aw, did you dress down for me?” he said cheekily, looking my scantily clad body up and down.

“Shut it, the cops are here,” I replied, trying to hide my blush, “and they’ll be after you too.”

“Then we better high-tail it.” Chase summoned his grappling hook into the barrel of his gun. “How ‘bout a kiss for the road?”

I pressed up onto the balls of my feet to ghost his lips with mine.

“How about I save us first, then you kiss me later?” I snatch the device from his hand. “Hold on.”

~

You can’t help but swoon at your desk, fanning your face with your hand. You could write about these two forever! However, you think that this is the perfect cliffhanger ending to your latest fantasy-romance manuscript. It will set up Book Two in the series wonderfully.

“You’ve done it again,” you congratulate yourself on a job well done. It’s been quite the journey in writing this, and of course, you’ve fallen in love with yet another male character you’ve created.

But there’s just something about Chase that makes him your favourite. You think that your readers are really going to like him, fall in love with him as you have.

Deciding you need to celebrate finishing your draft, you make your way to the kitchen in your sweats, hoodie, and fluffy socks. In doing so, you pass the numerous hanging posters of your New York Times bestselling novels and fanart done by fans.

Humming a tune to yourself, you make a beeline for the fridge, and - there it is - the small personal-sized cake you had bought for this moment. You knew you’d finish the book today, and if the happy-cliffhanger-ever-after ending wasn’t something to look forward to, the cake definitely was.

Maybe you’ll bust out the hot chocolate too.

And perhaps some Bailey’s to go with it. And a bubble bath? Oh, tonight was going to be fabulous!

It’s just you living alone in your apartment, along with all the characters you’d created, residing in your head and begging to have their stories told on paper. You didn’t win the Romance Writer of the Year Award for being a slacker. You didn’t have time for anything else. You didn’t have time for anyone else, or so you continuously tell yourself. However, if a handsome and dashing man like Chase were ever to enter your life, who knows?

What would it be like to be swooped in on and saved like that? What would it be like to save him in return? Alas, you think, you will never find out. You live a virtually uneventful life. You don’t have fictitious altered-human powers (though you wished you did), there’s no one chasing you or wanting to kill you. Likewise, there was no significant-other on the horizon, and now you feared that no one would ever compare to the fictional man you’d created for your latest novel.

These novels are your only means of romance and fantastic adventures. You live in your own creations. It’s an escape - An opportunity to live something so impossible.

Curling up on the couch, you sip your spiked hot cocoa and shovel spoonfuls of the delicious cake in your mouth.

“Here’s to you, Chase,” you toast the imaginary hero in your life.

***

You wake up to an incessant vibration. And while that may sound like a fun way to wake up, it’s just your phone.

Ew, someone’s calling me.

You give a quick stretch from your position on the couch where you’d fallen asleep last night before answering the call.

Strange… it’s an Unknown Caller.

Normally, you’d leave it. After all, as you like to say, “If it’s important, they’ll leave a message.” But today, you think, why not? You’re still on cloud nine from finishing your book.

“Hello?” you answer. There’s no reply, but the call still hasn’t dropped. Someone is still there. “Hello?” you try again.

Whoever it is on the other line ends the call, and you’re left incredibly confused. It’s too early in the morning for this-

Oh, shit!

You just remember you have a meeting with your publisher this morning! Shit! You throw your blanket off of you and dash to your bedroom to make yourself at least semi-professional looking. You think you manage to pull it off, too, but you know you won’t look half as gorgeous as Mrs. West-Allen.

As you scoop up your manuscript and take one step out the door, you see a small package that must have been delivered recently. What shocks you most is the name of the sender.

Ronald Raymond.

But that’s impossible. Ronnie, Caitlin’s fiancé, he’s dead…

You shove it back inside your apartment with your foot. That weirdness can wait, you’ve got a book to sell. Ahh!

It’s a brisk nearly-winter day in Central City. The snow hasn’t begun to fall quite yet, but you’re anticipating it. I wonder what it would be like to write about Chase and his adventures in the snow. Imagine being cozied up next to him in an abandoned cabin with a fireplace and a bearskin rug-

Okay, you are so going to write these thoughts down when you get the next chance. It could be fodder for the sequel!

By the time you make it to Jitters, Iris West-Allen is heading to sit down in one of the large comfy leather chairs in the middle of the cafe with two coffees. You sigh in relief that she’d only just arrived too.

“Hey, you!” she greets you. “There’s my favourite author!”

“Iris, hi,” you take the coffee she offers and you both air kiss each other’s cheeks.

“Is that the manuscript?” Your publisher points to the massive tome of printed-out pages under your shoulder.

“It most certainly is!”

Iris claps her hands together once. “I’m so excited to read it. Now sit, sit. We have lots to discuss.”

Over the next forty-five minutes, you both discuss the book itself, new book tour information starting in the new year, and everything in between. At one point, the conversation takes a turn when your friend and boss starts pointing out various men around the café. She’s always been keen to set you up with someone, as you have been incredibly single for a very long time now.

You wish she wouldn’t, though.

“What about that guy?” she points out a man at the order counter, but adds, “No, never mind. Too bland.” She eyeballs the room looking for eligible bachelors.

“Too gross.”

“Too desperate.”

“Too hipster.”

“Too happy.”

You laugh. “Iris, your husband is actual sunshine, remember?”

“Well, what about him, hmm?” Iris motions with her eyes off to the side - a man with a too-perfect coiff and a shit-eating grin. He winks at you.

You internally cringe. “No, no, it’s just, he’s not…”

“What? He’s not Chase Hutton? Come on, (Y/N).”

“I know, but Iris, I believe there’s someone amazing out there for me. I don’t know where, and I don’t know how, but I’ll find him. And he’s not that guy. Why do you have to bring this up all the time?”

Iris places a hand on yours. “Because I can’t stand seeing you lonely and waiting for someone who’s not real.”

“One - being lonely and being alone are two different things. And two - I’m not waiting for someone who’s not real. Here-” you slide the manuscript across the coffee table to her. “Read it and swoon. I did. Hundreds of times.”

Iris gives you a look.

“Let me know what you think,” you add, standing up and getting ready to leave.

“You’re leaving already?” she asks. “Stay, I’ll get you another coffee. I’m ordering you to. I’m your boss.”

“I can’t.”

“Listen, I’m sorry for that, (Y/N). I didn’t mean anything by what I said or for making you come out here. I just want you to get out, you know? You’ve worked so hard and are doing amazing work, and I know you’re still worried about Caitlin. Because I sure as hell am.”

“Yeah, it’s weird,” you muse at the mention of your mutual friend, “I thought she’d still need me to talk to about everything, but maybe she needs some space? I’m pretty sure she’s still in Africa doing Doctors Without Borders because I haven’t heard otherwise.”

Iris seems like she’s debating on saying something.

“Did they ever find her husband’s body?” she whispers.

“Ronnie? No, but no one could have survived such an explosion... But you know what’s even weirder? I got a package from Ronnie. Today. Which is totally impossible, though depending on when it was sent… I don’t know. It was just really strange.”

“Wow, yeah. God, I hope Caitlin’s okay. Can you imagine having your husband blown up? You’ll keep me posted if you hear anything?”

“Yeah… but yes, I’ll let you know if anything comes up.”

***

Fishing out your keys from your coat, you can’t help but think about everything Iris said. How could she think you were lonely? You are a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man (but would like one very much, maybe)! But he can’t just be any man. He’s got to be brave, and he’s got to be strong, and yup, now you’re singing Bonnie Tyler in your head.

You turn the key in the door, but it’s already unlocked. I did lock it when I left, didn’t I?

It only takes you a few steps inside before you see it all.

Your entire apartment has been completely and utterly destroyed.

Furniture flipped, cushions ripped, bookshelves fallen and books scattered everywhere, glass broken. There’s so much going on in this picture that you almost can’t believe this has happened to you.

You bring a shaky hand up to your mouth. It’s nearly impossible to catch your breath because it’s been stolen from you out of fear. As you survey the wreckage, you give a jolt when your phone rings and vibrates in your pocket.

Damn phone calls, Jesus Christ!

“Hello?” you answer, eyes still fixed on the disaster.

“(Y/N), it’s Caitlin.”

Why is she calling me now, all of a sudden? It’s been forever.

“Caitlin?”

“(Y/N), I need you to listen to me.”

There’s a quiver in her voice, which is very unlike the Caitlin Snow Ph.D. you know and love.

“Cait, what’s going on?” you press.

“I’m in trouble,” she replies slowly. “Did you happen to receive a package from Ronnie? A small, brown package?”

“Yes,” you draw out the word, “Why, what is it?”

“Oh, thank God. Inside is a sort of GPS beacon for a kind of treasure? I don’t know anything about it, but that’s what these men are telling me. I need you to bring that device here to me in the Congo as soon as possible-”

“Caitlin, the Congo? My God, what kind of trouble are you in?”

“Please, just- I need you to go to the Pullman Kinshasa Grand Hotel. When you arrive there, call this number-” Your friend rattles off a series of numbers. “But listen, you cannot tell anyone. They said they’d kill me if you alert anyone.”

This is all too much, too fast. It’s almost impossible to comprehend. “I can’t go to the Congo! And what men-?” You hear the sound of a weapon firing up. “Okay, okay, okay! I’ll do it, I’ll be there!” You shout into your phone so these men can hear you.

But the line goes dead.

[vaguely-concerned]

Mass Effect: Annihilation thoughts

TL;DR I fucking LOVED IT, a balm to my heart after struggling through Nexus Uprising! Also canonical lesbians! The sweetest quarian & his badass grandma! Elcor Hamlet except this time it’ll make you cry!!! 

- Aaaaaah the audiobook reader is Tom Taylorson (so male Ryder)!! Fryda Wolf (female Ryder) read the two others and did a nice job, but man I’m soft for his voice in a way only rivaled by (...outside-of-Overwatch!)Jennifer Hale and Nicholas Boulton haha. He also has a much better handle on the pronunciations and voices for the different alien species -- delightful, I’m still cackling over his pitch perfect elcor impersonation. (Bioware please give him more Scott Ryder to voice I miss my son)

- I’m only about half an hour in and this is already SO much better than Nexus Uprising, it really does feel like a brave new galaxy haha. Very funny, very warm and smart and engaging in how it does its characterization and Valente clearly has affection for the setting and the universe, she and Jemisin both do incredible jobs with these. 

- I’m fucking crying laughing at this cross-species near-brawl over a flower arrangement, god I love Mass Effect SO MUCH (what a neat idea though. something blooming quietly even when no one can see it. impractical as hell and hilariously including a high-nutrition celery now, but still neat)

Taylorson continues to wonderful things with the voices, that volus suit sound is so good. (he’s just generally really good at comedy) also a volus bellowing insults ‘moments before punching an anti-bouquet batarian in the groin’ sdafhjklsahfsjadkhfklajshdfkjlsadhf

- a high as a kite elcor... what a time to be alive, to get to read this book

I have already reached the ‘I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR’ stage with these characters, hard boiled drell detective lady and sweet sweet quarian first officer and manically enthusiastic elcor doctor TOT I would die for any one of you!!!

- The quarian/multispecies ark was built for long-term habitation, potentially over multiple generations. So what you’re telling me is that the quarians are the only ones who fucking thought this through and the rest of the Initiative probably should have listened to the people who’ve essentially been living on arks for ages. Who’d’ve thunk huh lol. (I guess the in-universe explanation is that people like the mysterious benefactor just wanted those arks yeeted to Andromeda ASAP, no time to get fancy in case the Reapers changed up their schedule. Fair enough)

- ;n; petition to let senna have a SAM pls (also uh. how happy do you think the stringently anti-AI quarian pathfinder will be when he finds out about everyone else’s SAMs lol lol lol he’s going to PASS OUT FROM RAGE upon meeting ryder. well he sounds like an asshole, I hope he dies so senna gets a chance)  

- I can’t BELIEVE yorrik is an anti-stratfordianist, i am betRAYED! disgraceful, how can I still love you knowing this (and yet I do he is extremely funny and sweet)!!! (at least his theory is that this so-called ‘shakespeare’ was actually an elcor, which makes it better somehow lol. anything so long as he’s not an oxfordian tbh)

senna and yorrik’s friendship is so good and wholesome 

- I really love the consistent alien POVs in this book, mass effect should indulge in this more -- everyone loves this universe so much, bioware, stop making us squint through a human lense to look at it!!  

- oh of course quarian ‘pirates’ exist, the people who’re thrown out of the fleet must be doing something huh. 

- haven’t written that many notes in a while just because I’m enjoying myself so much, I keep forgetting 

- lfsdkhfsajkldhfskadjhfsjakdfhsdkjfh communist volus!!!! this is not a drill, communist volus! I am completely and utterly charmed by this entire book

- the quarian ancestor VI is so interesting and weirdly touching. senna is adorable (and relatably neurotic lol)

grandma AI smoking T___________T I love everything about this, she’s so cool. the worldbuilding being done around pre-geth revolution rannoch here... exquisite 

- way to make me cry about batarians cat valente ;_______;

- the voice acting is SO FUCKING GOOD! I keep forgetting it’s one dude reading all these characters haha, I caught myself wanting to look up who voiced this dying batarian. (special shoutout that he does so many wonderfully distinct and specific female voices!) 

- haHA I KNEW the quarian VI was a full AI (or near enough that it makes little difference tbh)!!! this fabulous grandma was self aware the entire time b i t c h e s !!!!

- the running joke of borbala’s ‘you need ______? I can make _______ happen’ is SO satisfying hahaha

ooooooh serious femslash vibes!!!! initially I thought batarian ex-crime matriarch was too old for drell PI, but this is undeniable. (I don’t think we actually ever get to know how old annex is, anyway, come to think of it) I guess if asari get to be five times older than everyone else and still fuck freely this isn’t really that weird lol

- “don’t look! it’s not so bad if you don’t look!” ofhsdalfhskldlsfjas oh senna baby boy 

hey qetsi? qetsi both senna and I love grandma liat more than you. stand the fuck down 

- NOOOO GRANDMA LIAT ;______________________________________;

- do you think SAM could meet liat (either ship!liat or just grandma!liat).... and have... a friend ;_________; (a cool laidback friend who isn’t a murderous angaran ai who might very well go the murder suicide sort of friendship route lol) 

anyway I miss SAM a lot and love him??

- yorrik noooooooooooo this is awful everything is bad and terrible I love all of them so much why must senna be sad and watch everything he loves fade away 😭😭😭

“Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood/Clean from my hand?” He realized he’d forgotten to preface the words with an emotion. Now they wouldn’t understand what he meant.

Oh. Oh what a way to drive home the sadness and loneliness of this moment f u c k  (and again the emotion taylorson brings to it jesus cHRIST) 

I’m destroyed over how much senna and yorrik love each other, cross species found family out here wrecking my heart in true mass effect style 

- yorrik is such a great character though. he’d be so easy to make a one-note joke character (like most elcor have been in canon lbr), but there’s nuance and depth and just enough satsifyingly believable alienness there. (I love the staunch elcor ‘you can’t call anything love that hasn’t lasted at least two centuries’ perspective haha) his memories of his childhood and disappointment with his profession and everything... goodnight sweet prince indeed :(

- they went and made elcor hamlet heartbreaking how dare they 

(to be real for a second I think some of the human culture references are a little bit clunky, but the elcor hamlet stuff is perfect. contextualizing a throwaway joke from the original trilogy and giving it emotional depth, helping us see it from the elcor perspective and how frustrating and lonely it is to be so fundamentally not emotionally understood or seen on a level most of the other races are, despite their other differences, even though you have all these feelings and want to communicate... its very good.)   

fun additional fact: both mordin and yorrik have played/wanted to play polonius in a production of hamlet! though I guess mordin is the slightly problematic fave in that duo and yorrik is a sweet melancholic angel who has never done anything wrong in his life, I would say protect him but I guess it’s too late for that D:  

- qetsi giving off some real ophelia vibes here, I wish yorrik was here to see it, he’s the only one who’d properly appreciate it despite it all

- I. am. SO FUCKING HUNGRY for more mass effect after this (well even more so than usual) I’m so hyped!! I love this universe so much! I want a new andromeda game with senna as quarian pathfinder and grandma liat as the ship’s AI and see how they interact with ryder and SAM! (honestly though I feel like senna might be the one who’d translate the most cleanly into a game, I think there’s a lot of potential in him that’s barely being realized towards the end there with his deep righteous rage cutting through his uncertainty. also I just want nice things for him. is that so much to ask. he is a good boy, yorrik was so right.)

- aaaah not just femslash vibes, canonical lesbians, this is not a drill! I can’t wait until they propose... ‘we get shit done together, want to be in good cop/bad cop with me until the day we die y/n?’  

- the ME universe doesn’t feel quite itself without all these ‘background’ species hanging around, I suddenly realize. I dream of an Andromeda sequel with all of them on the board and in play again Y-------Y 

- potential Liat and SAM dynamics are so fucking interesting though! if she becomes/is confirmed as a full AI (all I hope and dream of), you’ll have two artificial intelligences with such different starting points but not that dissimilar goals? Liat was an organic person once who’s looking out for her family even now, and SAM is completely artificial but also intimately tied to and protecting His People. (and pulling a whole lot of symbolic weight re: the strength of familial/interpersonal relationships to boot; he’s the best way alec ryder managed to connect with his children. even though he was dead. because as established alec ryder was a disaster of a person)  

- I enjoyed the loose murder mystery structure of this quite a lot, but that might also be because nexus uprising is so shapeless and meandering by comparison that I’d be relieved by anything else (sorry I’ll stop ragging on NU soon it just. took some hours of my life I can’t get back)  

- jemisin did great stuff for characters already in andromeda (cora, SAM, alec ryder) and valente made me remember just why I love this universe so much and desperately want these aspects brought to andromeda too... and now I’ve exhausted all the fresh mass effect content I had available to me and will sit here consumed with lust for the rest of the time it takes for a new game to be announced thank you and goodbye  

[xtinadoesstarwars]

Dooku: Jedi Lost

I was really apprehensive about starting this book because I wasn’t entirely interested in knowing more about Dooku because what else is there to know? He’s got style, he’s got grace, and he’s a winner, he’s Count of Serenno. Anyway, I find that the books I think aren’t going to interest me are the ones I learn the most from. 

Spoilers below.

First off, this isn’t actually a book. You can buy the script on Amazon but it is primarily available as an audio play of sorts. The script was written by Cavan Scott who has authored several books in the Star Wars literature. The run time is a little over 6 hours, so it’s a lot shorter than other books I’ve listened to in Star Wars canon (Catalyst and Bloodlines - covering those both later). 

The basic plot summary is that Asajj Ventress learns about her master Count Dooku and his past from various sources, including his own recountings to her, communications between him and his sister, Jenza, as well as his holopad journal, while she is on a quest to find Jenza.

Notable things I learned about: 

1) The Lost Twenty - Jedi Masters who became disillusioned with the Jedi Order. I remember this being mentioned in an Episode II: AOTC deleted scene but didn’t give much thought to it. There are many components of the Jedi Order that have perpetually perplex me, especially in light of the original trilogy and the sequel trilogy. The only stories we hear of the Force are those at the opposing ends - the lightest and the darkest. It would be something to see a story of balance. It’s a lot to ask of people to give up familial ties, to take children away from their families, but I also see the importance of learning how to balance one’s power in the Force, lest one becomes a danger to oneself or others.

2)  Expanding upon the idea of balance in the Force, we get an ancient Jedi mantra for balance in Dooku: Jedi Lost:

We call upon the three—light, dark, and balance true. One is no greater than the others. Together, they unite, restore, center, and renew. We walk into the light, acknowledge the dark, and find balance within ourselves. The Force is strong.

3) This may or may not be a correct conclusion to draw from the book but it kiiiiiinda seems like mayyyybeeeee Dooku’s turn to the dark side miiiiiight have been related to the “legend” that Serenno was once part of the Sith empire (Me in my head: spicy peppers for spicy Siths). His sister Jenza recounts to him that once of their ancestors fought off the Sith and the other houses submitted to them. They have a funny little exchange about Jedi and Serennians, but I will leave y’all to read that.

Stuff that made me LOL:

- Dooku and Sifo-Dyas were so cute and shitty to each other, as preteens and teens are wont to do. They had NICKNAMES (Doo and Si), fabulous to see Dooku with a sense of humor not so mired in darkness, although you could argue he is pretty funny in The Clone Wars TV show.

- Asajj having lengthy conversations with Ky about whether or not he’s really in her head or if she’s just losing it, because their bickering was A+.

- Asajj threatening people.

- Dooku fighting with a fucking glass of wine and not spilling it like the bad bitch that he is. The man SIMPLY HAS STYLE!

Characters:

Orlagh Cassidy as Asajj Ventress

Euan Morton as Dooku

Pete Bradbury as Gretz Droom (new character, Padawan to Jor Aerith)

Jonathan Davis as Qui-Gon Jinn

Neil Hellegers as Ramil (New character, brother of Dooku)

Sean Kenin as Sifo-Dyas

January LaVoy as Jor Aerith (New character, Master to Gretz Droom)

Saskia Maarleveld as Jenza (New character, sister to Dooku)

Carol Monda as Lene Kostana (New character, Master to Sifo-Dyas, Dooku is greatly fascinated by her and her work to study and find Sith relics in order to prepare for what she believes is the impending Sith uprising)

Robert Petkoff as Ky Narec (Former Master to Asajj, serving as the voice of her consciousness--the way I heard it anyway)

Rebecca Soler as Yula Braylon (New character, a Seeker and Jedi who had a son Arath--unbeknownst to the Council--who was somewhat of an annoyance or rival to Dooku during their days as initiates)

Marc Thompson as Yoda (Master to Dooku)