#and making accusations of racism isn't going to Help That

[thisisxli]

hihi can i request a fic of iwaizumi x reader some type of angst to fluff like reader is a foreigner and she overhears iwaizumi making fun of her or her accent just to hide that he likes her?

REQUEST - 𝐈𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐳𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐇. 𝐱 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Rs: Iwaizumi Hajime x foreign Fem!Reader

Warning: angst, betrayal, a BUNCH of shit-talking, racism, bullying(kind of), mentions of insecurities, ghosting

Tags: fluff, shy iwaizumi, bright reader, oikawa tooru is a little shit, reader is a independent baddie, small slow burn, friends to lovers, iwaizumi is shitty with feelings

Summary: Iwaizumi whom hasn't had any experience with anyone develops a crush for the new foreign girl. He comes down to the decision to save his reputation or to be with you.

wc: 3.1k

recommended song(s) :

"(L/N) (Y/N), thank you for having me," you smile and bow at waist-level, sitting back in your seat. You don't think much of it when you hear the whispers of other students around you.

"She has such a thick accent.. I swear I'm not trying to judge buttt-" Matsukawa quickly cuts Oikawa off, crossing his arms over his chest, "isn't that a little racist, Oikawa?" He smirks at the pouting boy. Their group continues to ramble on about you until you enter the hallway. Some even stop to look at you.

Iwaizumi literally freezes in his spot, stealing his entire attention. He watches you walk past his group with a worried expression and here he thinks that you're super cute. Sure, you weren't Japanese but hey.. That doesn't mean that can stop him from liking you, surely. "Oh, oops! Sorry, can I uh- can I get through?" The volleyball group turn to look at you, shock ridden all over their faces. Without a word, they oblige and let you through. And of course, your locker was right next to Iwaizumi's. He was screaming inside his brain but no one knew that.

You were starting to get scared because of how this boy was staring at you right now. Your hands start to become hesitant when you pick out a notebook from your locker, eyes awkwardly darting back to him and your locker from the side, "um, can I help you?" Iwaizumi blinks at you, looking up to his teammates who held confused and amused expressions. He quickly shakes his head and looks back to you, "y-yeah, sorry. Uh.." Well. How awkward, you both think.

"(L/N)," you speak for him before quickly going on alert, "actually you don't have to call me by my-" you think to yourself for a few seconds, "surname. Just call me by my first, (Y/N)!" You awkwardly laugh, shutting your locker door. The group of boys raise a brow at you and start to snicker, some even starting to whisper in each other's ears. Iwaizumi slightly frowns when he sees this. You notice it all, shoulders slightly slumping. "Yeah.. (Y/N). I'm Iwaizumi Hajime, you can jus' call me.. Iwa, I guess," he mutters, straightening out his volleyball jacket. You quickly nod, bidding each other farewell till you walked off.

Iwaizumi avoids the stare of his teammates, turning around to open his locker. "What was THAT?!" Oikawa practically jumps on him, leaning his arms against the bulky boy's shoulder. He shrugs him off, "nothing. What's your problem?" Oikawa snorts in disbelief, waving off the few nagging girls surrounding his teammates. "My problem is that you seen like you like her! And even maybe," Oikawa points an accusing finger extending out and inwards at Iwaizumi, "maybe you'll even plot on getting with-" he quickly gets cut off with a hard slap to the head, Iwaizumi shuts his locker and walks off to his next class with pink ears. "Yeah, as if."

Turns out.. you both had the same class. And you both sat next to each other.. Just his luck, huh? Was it god doing this to him? What fate had brought you two constantly together after your first interaction?

"Iwa?" He just didn't get it. Why was your locker besides his? Stupid foreign girl couldn't ignore his stupid staring. "Iwa?" Now he has to hear shit from Oikawa. Maybe even Matsukawa and Hanamaki.. It pisses him off at the thought. "Iwa?" He turns his head to the voice calling out his name, glaring hard. You blink at him, faltering under his stare. His face quickly turns back to normal, shoulders relaxing, "yeah? Sorry." You chuckle, tucking a few hair strands behind your ear. Woah, he thinks. "It's okay, it seemed like you were pretty distracted so... But I wanted to ask you if you maybe wanted to be.." He raises a brow when you scrunch your face as if you were afraid of his answer, "partners for our project?" You squeak out. He tilts his head at you. What did you say? "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"

You fiddle with your bracelet, "do you want to be partners?" You say a little too formally. He makes an 'oh' shape with his mouth before nodding, rubbing the back of his head. After that, you both continued with the rest of class and headed to your next one. But just before you did- you got his number, of course. Iwaizumi was almost flustered. It was unexpected and weird, usually girls went to Oikawa for this kind of stuff- except, you did this for your shared project.

Iwaizumi wipes his damp cheeks with his towel, taking a sip from his water bottle when he takes a quick scroll through the phone, nearly choking on water when he sees your contact name. Oikawa's head turns to Iwaizumi in curiousity.

(Y/N) :)

Hey! (Y/N) here. I wanted to ask how you wanted to start out the project.

5:26 PM

Iwaizumi quickly looks around before turning his full attention on his phone, trembling thick thumbs dashing across his keyboard.

Iwa H.

Oh, it's no prob. Maybe we could make a slideshow about it, idrk. Your choice?

5:27 PM

(Y/N) :)

Oh yeah! I completely agree. Just let me know when we can start working on it. If you can, you can come over to my place or I come over to yours? Or if not, a library of course.

Boy do you type a lot. He makes a face and cocks a brow but he says nothing of it, going back to typing.

Iwa H.

I could ask. Just see if your parents are okay with it. I'll tell you the time and everything if I'm able to go.

5:28 PM

(Y/N) :)

Okay!

READ 5:28 PM

Iwaizumi sighs heavily, sliding the sweat drenched towel off his neck as he hears a ding come from his phone. He looks back at his phone and sees you text.. some kind of an emoji? What was that? He makes a confused face.

(Y/N) :)

Okay!

(≧∇≦)/

READ 5:29 PM

He purses his lips together and reacts to your 'emoji' with a thumbs up. "So we exchanging numbers with the foreign exchanged student now?" Oikawa's voice calls out by his ear. Iwaizumi jerks back and quickly swings a punch toward the brunette but he quickly ducks back, a huge pout on his lips. "Iwa-Chan! You could've hit me!" Iwaizumi walks over to the locker rooms where the rest of the boys were, Oikawa following not too short from behind.

"Tell me, tell me? When d'ya exchange phone numbers?" Oikawa perks up behind Iwaizumi's shoulder before getting his nose elbowed by him. "Oh? Iwaizumi's gettin' bitches now?" Hanamaki walks over, sliding on his shirt. "I bet'chya it's that new foreign student," Matsukawa laughs, catching the attention of his other volleyball teammates. "The one with the weird accent?" Kindaichi suggests. "The new bug-eyed girl?" "The ugly person?" "There's a foreign student?-" "she sounds weird-" "cute for a foreign girl-"

"Alright! Shut up!" Iwaizumi turns to glare back at his teammates who were silenced. He slips off his shirt, folding it and putting in his bag before attempting to find his other spare. "She's jus' nobody alright?! Me and her are partners for this project, don't get your dicks so pent up in a twist," Iwaizumi grunts at his teammates, slipping his spare shirt on. "So chill the fuck out," he huffs while Oikawa comes up from behind, patting his back. "Hey, we're just joking, Iwa-Chan. It's all good," Oikawa smirks at him and he just sighs.

Joking his ass.

Iwaizumi started to be around you more and talking to you more. The more you were around, the more stares he got. Even his teammates would say some slick shit, no matter how many times he would console them. He seriously didn't want this. He didn't want to deal with it. Fuck, he had to do something.

You were rambling off, standing next to him in front of your lockers as he listened. Or at least he tried listening. He couldn't listen when all these people were staring and whispering behind your back. This seriously gave him a bad look. The school bell rings and you chirp, "looks like class is starting! see-ya, Iwa!" You start to walk away and wave back energetically to the boy who weakly waved back. Well shit.

The school day was over and Iwaizumi was acting really strange lately. You didn't think much of it. That is until you heard familiar voices from the volleyball team in the hallway you were about to turn to. You hear your name come out from one of their mouths, quickly hiding by the wall and tucking your hair behind your ear to hear better.

"You sure you don't have a crush on her?" One scoffs.

"For someone you don't talk so highly about, Iwaizumi, you sure love to hang around her."

You perk up. What were they talking about? Did Iwaizumi say something bad? Something in your gut is telling to run away.

"Fuck no," you hear a gruff voice say. You know that voice. Run.

"I rather fuck a dude than to be around her ass again." Run.

"She seriously gets on my nerves. There's not one time where I don't understand her at all." Fucking run.

"She sounds super weird sometimes. Her accent gives me the fuckin' ick." RUN.

"What about those sweet little texts, Iwa-Chan?" You hear a familiar one say; you think it's the Oikawa dude.

"Oh, that shit?" He scoffs, "please. She texts me non-stop. I'm being real fuckin' generous by even replying to one of them. Plus," you could almost see the smirk plastered on his face in your brain. "I only got her number to get the bomb ass grades that she's got. But if anything, she needs to go back to where she came from." Deep laughter erupts from the group of boys' throats.

You bring up a trembling hand to your mouth and start to dash the way you came from. Fuck, you think. You were never gonna talk to him, ever again.

A few days had passed and you weren't here. Where were you?

"Hey 'Kawa, you seen (Y/N)?" Iwaizumi gently pushes at the brunette's shoulder, rolling his eyes when Oikawa gives him a smirk. "Worried about her, I see?" He smiles triumphantly before that facade quickly gets smacked away by Iwaizumi's hand, a small whine coming from the tall boy. "Answer my question," Iwaizumi taps his foot impatiently. "I don't know! I haven't seen her at all, so I don't know," Oikawa huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. Noted.

Iwaizumi quickly turns around to leave, calls of his name slowly fading away when he walks further down the hallway. And now... He finds himself standing in front of your house. He fiddles with his phone, looking back at your messages.

Haji ♡.

Hey, where r u??

???

Are you sick?

We had notes to take down tdy, want me to send them to you??

Hello?

Are you okay? Did anything happen?

(Y/N)????

Please talk to me.

Come back, please.

(Y/N)?

???

READ 7:02 PM

Well fuck. Either something was wrong at home or he's screwed up. He's screwed up real bad.

He steps onto your porch, his hesitant fist a few centimeters away from your front door. He purses his lips behind his teeth, giving your door a few knocks. Shit, he already regrets this, he thinks. Before he could turn around, the door opens and revealed you. "You," he breathes, shoulders slightly relaxing. You fidget in your spot, eyes looking everywhere but him. His heart twinges at the sight. "Did you... see my messages?" He speaks out. He suddenly feels so small. You nod your head, looking down to your mismatched socks. You both awkwardly stand there in silence just before he speaks up again, "hey so-.. I just wanted to talk.. Is everything.. okay? Like you haven't gone to school or anything and-" "no." Iwaizumi looks up at your face, blinking in surprise, "no?" "No," you say sternly, fists clenching in anger. Uh oh. Yeah, he totally fucked up.

"You... I thought-" you stop speaking when you hear your voice tremble, exhaling heavily through your nose with closed eyes. "I thought.. you liked me," you embarrassingly say, turning away with flushed cheeks. "I thought.. we were friends. I thought we actually got along! I ignored everyone who was talking about me because I had you!" You start to raise your voice which he winces at. You knew about everyone? Yet you never said anything, let alone react. Huh. "I went out to hang out with you! I lied for you- just so you didn't get in trouble! I distanced myself from time to time so no one would talk about YOU! I shared my secrets with you- I-" you look up to Iwaizumi with glossy eyes, tears overwhelmingly pooling at the corners. Iwaizumi looks back at you with a hurt and distraught face. "I trusted you. And to think-" your voice breaks, "to think I even liked you!" You accidentally let out a sob, your hand quick to hover over your mouth.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. What has he done? He was worrying about what his friends thought of him- what everyone would think of him- but what he didn't think about was how you would feel. How you felt. Never has he once asked you about your situation. He just stares at your crying figure. God, were you beautiful. "(Y/N), I-" you cut him off with a teary-eyed glare. "I just... I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I was being selfish, I.. I just wasn't-" he throws his head back when he feels his tears slowly start to come in.

"I like you, (Y/N). Please, forgive me. You don't have to right now, but please. Please do," he shakingly breathes, a tear or two slipping from his eyes. His eyes shoot wide open when he feels your warm hands cup his cheeks, meeting your sad-scrunched up face.

"I am so, so sorry. I like you, I genuinely do. I like you so much," he confesses, looking back at you and stepping closer, analyzing your shocked face. "I like you so much.. But I was so, so, so fucking blind. Whatever you heard me say wasn't true. I was just a scared boy who wanted people to like him. But all this time, I had you," his voice cracks, weakly throwing his hands up towards you. Your face was full of confusion and hurt. "I like you, so so much. I like your accent, y-your Japanese! I like your hair- your skin- your eyes, everything about you, (Y/N). And I'm sorry I made you think otherwise. And I'm sorry I let other people influence me and get in the way of how I feel about you," he shuts his eyes tightly, hanging his head low in shame.

You take a loud sniffle, careful to let out a exhale through your mouth, "I forgive you, Hajime. But it'll take time to gain my trust back again. But," you nearly let out a sob, thumb caressing his cheek bone, "I might move."

His eyes widen. And suddenly, he's pulling you to his embrace, clutching you tightly and caging you with his arms. "Please, no don't- don't go," he whimpers into your ear pathetically. You snake your arms around his neck. "I'll try."

For the rest of week of school, you didn't show up. He was getting really anxious. But other than that, he would literally glare towards people's way whenever he heard your name come out of their mouth. Whether it be a stranger or a friend, a conversation he wasn't involved in, he straight up glares at them.

"Iwaizumi, I thought you didn't like her?" Yahaba suggests, cocking a brow at the spiky haired boy. "Yeah, you were all like 'oh she's so weird! She's so-' OuGh!" Iwaizumi elbows Oikawa right in the stomach, hard. Oikawa hunches over, clutching his stomach, "hey- that really hurt- what's your problem?-"

"My problem? My problem was that I became a fuckin' follower to everybody who was so fixated on talking shit about (Y/N). My problem is that I let it happen! That I said all those awful things about her!" Iwaizumi yells, accidentally... slipping a thing or two out than what was needed. Oikawa looks up at him with a surprised face. Matsukawa and Hanamaki drops a volleyball, letting it roll away as they walk up to him, Matsukawa starts, "yo, are you good?" More teammates look their way. Great, he thinks. What a way to draw attention-

"Hajime?"

His eyes nearly shoot out their sockets and boy he has never turned around so fucking hard in his life. There you were, standing by the doors of the gym, fiddling with the hem of your sweater. You were dressed in casual clothing, cute but casual. You ignore the stares of everyone in the room, staring at Iwaizumi and Iwaizumi alone. "(Y/N).." He croaks out, quickly wiping off his sweat with a towel and runs up to you, encasing you in his sweaty arms and torso.

You squeal, slapping him on the head but you recoil when you feel his sweat.

"Oop," Yahaba narrows his eyes at the sight, his fingertips hovering over his lips. Iwaizumi chuckles and lets go of you, his eyes scanning all over your body. Your cheeks become hot at that. "So it turns out.. I talked to my parents and so.."

"Sooo?" Iwaizumi drags out the 'o', his teammates scooting closer to hear the conversation better. "I'm staying at the school-" "YES!!" He sweeps you up in his arms again, stealing all the hair in your lungs when he bear-hugs you. You let out a light hearted laugh, hugging him back. You didn't care about his sweat at this point.

Oikawa's eyes softened. This was.. really sweet, he thought. Maybe you weren't so bad after all. He guesses it really was wrong to talk about you like that and all. It seems that you make Iwaizumi happy. He smiles and gestures to his other teammates who were thinking the same thing. "Yayyy!" Oikawa skips over to you and Iwaizumi, the other boys following not too far behind.

But, you weren't really fond of everyone there so while they were cheering, you just awkwardly smiled at them.

You and Iwaizumi wall through the school doors, hand in hand.

A girl scrolls through her phone, blowing the gum in her mouth while her self-obsessed friend rants about the 'Oikawa Tooru.' She looks up, gum popping in her face when she catches you and Iwaizumi walking together. She quickly nudges her friend, catching her attention. She darts her gaze towards her friend and you- wait- you?!

You let out a quiet laugh, leaning into Iwaizumi's arm. What the fuck?! Heads turn your way and whispers start but you pay no mind, not when Iwaizumi's there. Not when he's staring at you with such gentleness. Jaws of even more people drops when you and Iwaizumi share a quick but longing kiss, parting ways to go to your classes. Well damn.

While other students whisper behind his back all Iwaizumi can think is how he got so lucky with you.

a/n: I felt really good writing abt this one. I like it :) thank you for the request <3

if you want to read more like this, check out my Masterlist.

[argumate]

i think you're missing a big picture view on immigration. unless it's done slowly and carefully - which isn't what you argue for - there are huge social and economic consequences, and this is what drives xenophobia and racism up.

mass immigration -> drop in wages (supply and demand) and general COL rises, especially rent - it's impossible to keep uo housing demand that fast -> public resources get stretched thin (education, transportation, healthcare).

the only ones who benefit from big waves of "unskilled" labor (no such thing obviously, but they're the ones easy to exploit) are big companies. they get to pay them less than a native would accept, while the city and state govt who are already incredibly inefficient at best, let the whole place decay.

i have literally seen it happening in real life in my hometown. the first wave of immigrants in the 2010s (haitians) were generally welcomed and the population had a positive outlook on them. now, in the 2020s, the huge mass of venezuelan immigrants are very looked down upon because of the reasons i said above.

obviously it's not /their/ fault, bc they're also being exploited by the system.

also, there is a cultural and language factor! they play a big role in this, too. my oarents neighborhood HAS gotten more rowdy and dangerous after the venezuelans came in.

immigration only works if there is integration, but we can't say that w/o getting accused of xenophobia and racism. you cannot have a functioning harmonious society without a minimum amount of social cohesiveness. there is a reason culturally homogenous countries are the happiest - and i genuinely mean culturally, not racially.

i used to believe in Free Immigration For All until i experienced this in real life. there are no spots in school for kids and teens, the buses are full, the healthcare has gotten horrible, wages are incredibly low and rent js crazy high. obviously this isn't the immigrants fault - it's a simple question of supply x demand + government inefficiency. but to be quite honest? not even the most best equipped mayor would've been able to build enough schools and hospitals when you're constrained by the bureaucracy of things.

not to talk about the fact how they have access to social benefits, like our own version of ssi for vulnerable people without contributing anything to it nor needing to be a citizen when public pension style of social benefits (what we have) are already stretched thin by low birth rates!!!!!

im not in the usa, and this is my perspective in a 200k hab city. i cannot imagine how this is like in a larger city and the impacts it has ln the local population.

also, i will say one thing about the usa immigration issue: there are plenty of reasonably safe countries people pass before getting to the border. they dont HAVE to go there. they want to go there bc it doesn't matter to them that it's a low paying job, that money is still worth a lot back in their home country. that is why to them it's worth to cross the ocean and be at risk at the border. that, and it's only way to claim asylum is being physically there - after they're in waiting for a court date, it doesn't matter anymore whether they're legsl or not. they already have a job and are making 2 dollars an hour which is worth 83737373737383838282 back home.

yes fixing housing policy is essential for so many other things, but you're kind of mixing a bunch of random things here: if low birth rates are a problem then young immigrants help with that, low wages are less of a problem when immigrants don't need to fear deportation, etc.

[primofate]

I'm torn when it comes to Boycotts and enjoying Genshin fanworks.

On one hand, I'm trying not to sink into Nilihism. I've been around when Boycott Genshin was a thing for the anniversaries and their rewards, for Dehya, as well as Sumeru. Nothing happened despite the Boycott moniker going around and around for years at this point. Nothing's really changed with Natlan. The international community can talk about Boycotting all they want, but if past "boycotts" have shown anything, it's that it doesn't really work.

On the other side, I'm glad people are getting more aware of Genshin and Hoyoverse's racism in their games. It's been a thing for a long time, and I'm glad it's getting more attention. Not to mention, the additional exposure that's been taking place regarding the issues for Diluc's English VA (Sean Chiplock) and the upcoming character Moze's English VA (Chris Niosi), is helping other players get educated about the accusations and the issues surrounding them.

Whether or not the issues stop others from playing the games is not my determination to make, but it is nice to have all the information out there so that players (new and old) are aware of what they're getting into. Genshin's not a perfect game, and there are valid critiques.

That being said, fanworks are also something that I'm conflicted on.

On one hand, Genshin's fanwork community is incredibly large. It can be argued that with so much fanworks floating around, it's free advertising. It is possible that fanworks can cause someone who may not be interested in Genshin, to check it out. That could lead to more money for the company.

On the other hand though, Genshin fanwork creators are doing this for free. Most of them are not profiting off of fanworks, and are doing this because of their passion for the game. It's important to separate the fanwork creator with their opinions of the game. Yes, it is possible to read fanworks as tacit agreement of the game, BUT it is also possible that fanworks exist because the game isn't giving people the representation they want. There is a reason that fix it fics, fix it art, and edits exist.

Because of the nuances, I personally will not be fiscally supporting the game. But I'm more torn on fanworks.

There's no good answer here, and I know that's something I'm still struggling with.

See now this is an educational response. Unlike the previous one who gave me no information and attacked me head on. A lot of information on this post I was not aware of.

Well appreciated response! Thank you.

[theelusivecamilleon]

I honestly feel like I'd like both Jacques and Adam as antagonists more if the racism in the show went harder. While they're...okay-ish, they feel too safe for the respective characters they contribute to.

With what we do have of them, Jacques stands as a CEO of a company that'd been already brought into question about how it treats its employees, especially those that are faunus. As for Adam, he was obviously branded and we get to see that scar and what it did...but the story doesn't really treat the two like they probably should be. Adam's branding scar, when mentioned outside of canon, is mentioned to be there because he got into a fight with somebody else; in-show, it's shown like Adam got that scar when Blake ran away or that the two are directly correlated when it sounds like it isn't. In Jacques' case, it feels like another "Cardin bullies everybody" case where the racism is hampered because...well, he underpays everybody so it doesn't matter as much.

I could completely understand if the writers didn't want to truly go the racism angle, but because of what the faunus as a collective entity is, it's too late to try walking it back or dampening that story any further. In V1, that's where they started talking about it at all, but the nuance still feels missing in later volumes. There's NO OTHER GROUPS related to the faunus that show the other side of the coin, so it makes the White Fang stick out a little further as an antagonistic force. Mind you, they were made into fodder alongside the Grimm from the beginning.

With Jacques specifically, we already get to see him as a bad parent, a shady businessman with money, and the like...and yet honestly? I couldn't tell you at face value if he was a racist or did what other characters accuse him of. Instead, it feels more like he's just a scummy rich person with the catch-all traits to come with it. His mention of paying the faunus and human workers the same doesn't end up feeling like a lie and instead sounds like he pays them all terribly so it again feels like the emphasis is taken off. This could still be entirely true, but if he's supposed to be the CEO of racism as well, it's not doing it for me.

I don't believe it'd fix every problem to just say "add more racism" because it's in how the characters are composed themselves as well. While the two of them seem like they would be integral parts of at least 3/4 of Team RWBY, Jacques only matters to Weiss and Adam only matters to Yang and Blake. It's understandable why Ruby wouldn't have a direct role with them, but for the others, it feels mismanaged. Blake and Weiss, in my opinion, should've had more to do with each others' important arcs since their initial views opposed each other. Giving them that chance to grow with each other and potentially support their stories/help fight their antagonists just feels right...but that doesn't happen. Instead, we never get Blake coming face to face with Jacques and telling him off from the heart, nor Adam and Weiss meeting and Adam getting to crash out about Blake and Weiss actually getting along and growing with each other. Adam and Jacques are both dead and the plot's moved on past what feels like an abrupt way to end that specific part of both their stories.

In a more interesting timeline, maybe Jacques really is the CEO of racism and Adam gets to do more raging because of racism, so Weiss and Blake would have to be interwoven in each others' plotlines for substantial growth for the both of them...but that's not this timeline.

It is a little funny that commitment to racism as a concept in Remnant would make 2 of the main characters a little more interesting to me. This is just a load of thoughts, though.

[wolfertinger]

I have a couple of words on this. /srs

Wis, if you're reading this, no, I'm not criticizing Salem's words based on the fact that he's black, queer, or neurodivergent. I'm criticizing Salem's words based on... Well, his words. And not, this isn't hate, I don't encourage the harassment of anyone involved in this. This is called criticism. Criticism of another person's words. /srs

There are several things I can extract from this one single post. First, the image. That's called a panopticon. /srs

I want to start saying that maybe Salem doesn't know the origin or significance of the structure he posted. I can make this assumption based on how Salem once posted the book "Fearing the Black Body: The Racist Origins of Fat Phobia", without knowing what he was talking about. This book doesn't say nor imply that: /srs

"Fat phobia = Racism"

The book did talk about how fat phobia historically intersected with other systems of oppression such as anti-black Racism and slavery. Unlike what Salem said, Fat Phobia doesn't equal Racism. They are both different concepts, after all. Can they intersect with each other? Are they related to each other? Of course! That's what this book is about! But they are not the same thing. /srs

The panopticon is a style of architecture intended to be disciplinary. The basic principle of the panopticon's architecture was to observe and monitor the greatest number of inmates with the minimum number of guards, this gave the guards the advantage of watching the prisoners at any time without them knowing. Soon, the prisoners would become aware that they were being watched, and this would lead them to behave better. /srs

In the field of social psychology, the panopticon is a metaphor for the social control to which all citizens are subject. Citizens internalize the authority of laws and norms in society, which leads them to behave according to them. Power comes from observation. /srs

I understand this topic, since I studied this in college, and the theory regarding the panopticon, made by Michel Foucault, is more complex and nuanced than this. I tried to explain it in the easiest way so everyone could understand it. /gen

Whether Salem understands or not the meaning behind the image he posted (although you can understand or infer the image by itself is about vigilance and observance), he wants to defend himself. /gen

He wants to imply something like "Actually I AM the victim. Actually YOU are the ones misinterpreting MY GOOD INTENTIONS" /srs

I don't want to imply this is gaslighting, since it's a big accusation and I really hope Salem doesn't keep going on this behavior, but this can definitely be considered manipulative behavior. /srs

I was a follower of Salem. Did I try to give him the benefit of the doubt? Yes, I really tried. But his words and actions by themselves spoke more about him than Salem himself. And for that, I'm really disappointed by how Salem turned out to be. /srs

I'm sorry but I can't believe Salem has good intentions when he has done the following actions: /srs

Being friends with a transmisogynistic abuser (station/haupkmn). /srs

Being incredibly rude and toxic with people who dare to disagree with him. /srs

Supporting a groomer (majora), by reblogging their "ask for help". /srs

Supporting her partner (or at least, being an accomplice, in the best of cases) in the harassment towards Sawyer. /srs

Supporting her partner (or at least, being an accomplice, in the best of cases) in the supporting of criminals and covering up crimes. Rape and grooming minors in the internet are crimes for a reason. /srs

Keeping in mind all of these situations have actual evidence, it's understandable that a certain group of people (all the people who interact with this blog), gets worried by how awful the actions of a popular person in the queer/furry community are. That's why we're so vigilant. We don't know if there are more awful things Salem wants to support, we don't know if there are more awful people Salem actively associates with. We don't know, but we prefer to remain vigilant so we can call them out too as soon as possible. /gen

No one in this blog has criticized other queer artists as long as they behave well. And by "behaving well", I mean not supporting rapists, abusers, harassers and groomers. You know. The bare minimum a human being can do. /srs

Also, this isn't about people's sexual desires. This is about no longer supporting non tolerating real-life people's real-life and online awful behavior. /gen

.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

Your countries are being invaded and your too blinded by accusations of "Bigotry" and "Racism" to actually do anything about it. What am I talking about?

-

Let me explain something to the left and any moderate that might have an issue with my framing. These are not people seeking asylum because of persecution. These are economic migrants trying to extract from our countries while their first act in flooding here is economic instability and eventual collapse. It has nothing to do with cultural dislike, or racism of any kind.

Fact is most people in most places hate how their governments are run. The US Gov I can actually weigh in on, because we have sent billions in tax dollars to Ukraine and foreign interests. We have spent millions if not billions on homelessness yet still have a huge homeless issue in places that claim to care about it more than anywhere else.

But what's the issue. 80%-90% of the people coming are military age men. In some cases that percentage is north of 98%. Meaning there are almost never any women or children coming here. And at least in the US they are coming here with their fist act as breaking US law. I live in Texas. This state is heavily affected by illegal immigration. Hard part is, most people don't tend to see the effects until it's too late. The more people that flood your country, the worse the economy in your country will be. Slow trickle can be handled. What we are experiencing can't be. Why?

So not to be the "THER TAKN OUR JUBS", but in reality they are. They will work for lower wages. They don't care if they get healthcare. And the employer does not have to care about the red tape hiring them. They get the profit with almost none of the other complexities that come from hiring a legal citizen. What's more, we barely have enough jobs for the people that live here and yet we flood millions in through the southern border every single year. Functionally, this is an issue. We might be a melting pot, but what happens when our cultures are deleted outright because the flood gets too big?

And this is a real risk. Cultural decimation. These people don't care about their own countries. What makes you think they care about yours? They will extract. Destroy. And they will move on. They don't realize they are doing it have the time but consider the fact that the UN has not helped in this at all. Consider the fact that the WEF has not at all helped in this. The US can hold the population of the world sure, but fact of the matter is that should not be our goal. There are too many cultures, and there are too many offset forms of belief.

We can barely keep our own country working properly and inflation is the worst it's been in almost ever. We can't take care of our own and yet the bleeding heart class in the US just expects us to take in everyone from everywhere at all times. Economically we can't handle this. Socially and culturally we can't handle this. People need to go to countries through the proper sources. They need to do it legally. But what's more, these countries are losing their working age and military age men. IN THE THOUSANDS and MILLIONS. What is the result to the country these people are leaving? What of the women and children left behind?

No one wants to have this conversation because they are scared of being called a xenophobe or a racist. But having love for your country and wanting it to continue to function, and not have your culture crushed under the weight of actual invaders, isn't either of those things. And before you go, "Oh well how dare you call them invaders ~" here is the definition for you.

Look at the second listing. I understand the idea behind wanting others to be happy. I understand the idea behind wanting people from other places to not suffer. But these people are leaving their countries, rather than fighting for them. They have abandoned their mothers, daughters, wives, sisters, aunts, and grandmothers in most cases.

Most of you need to face the reality that the real world is not a fair place. But if you want your country to thrive and survive there needs to be a process in which it functions. These people are ignoring that entire process. If Italy can't deport the people that just arrived on that ship, outnumbering the entire population of the island they just landed on, there will be consequences. And they will not be good. The language will start to shift. The religions in the area will change. The entire culture will change. Then at some point, they will decide, "This is our land now, and it's always been ours". It's objectively conquest by sheer numbers. And while they might not individually have any ill intent. That won't matter in the long term.

This isn't a conspiracy. It's not bigotry. Open a history book and read. I'm pro immigration. 100% I'm for it. But how long are the lines for the people coming here legally? How many people have been denied citizenship over BS reasons? And not only are we allowing illegals in at a more than alarming rate (specifically in the US), but we are spending tax dollars on giving them roofs over their heads, and handouts, and in some places they are even getting monthly allowances.

Explain to me how we are doing this for people with no respect for the country, or it's laws, and yet you can't solve homelessness? You can't make a VA that actually functions properly? You can't get out out of inflation? So to the people cheering on illegal immigration, you are voting for your own demise. And every penny spent on them, is not one spent on a legal immigrant. Every penny spent on them is not spend helping the homeless. Every penny spent on them is not spent on healthcare.

This might be a controversial post and some people may even block, mute or unfollow me for it and that's fine. But history speaks for itself. And every country that has dealt with this for too long has collapsed over time. Pretty much every single time.

You should be concerned. Before you end up as the one who's displaced, and is fleeing.

[doberbutts]

genuine question coming from a place of good faith: is it wrong of me to be scared for transmascs right now? the harassment of transfems by both radfems and now even tumblr staff is fucking horrendous, but im terrified that due to so much recent discourse, people are going to blame transmascs for it and hate us even more than they already do.

i genuinely do care about transfems and it’s utterly ghoulish what’s going on right now, and it needs to stop, but I can’t help but get this awful sinking feeling over how it could affect transmascs by proxy — but I’m not sure if that’s wrong of me? is it wrong to worry about, should I be focusing entirely on transfems right now? is it transmisogynistic of me to be concerned about both of these things instead of just the one? I don’t know if what I’m feeling is wrong and it’s stressing me out so badly :(

I don't think it's ever wrong to be concerned about multiple real problems at once.

I have stayed pretty quiet on this situation, mostly just adding stuff to my queue if I agree with it but not weighing in personally. Mainly the reason is that I genuinely don't know anything about the trans woman in question who all of this fuss is for. But, I have seen other trans blogs get nuked for seemingly flimsy reasons, and I have seen self-professed terfs and radfems crowing victory with the latest victims of their mass-reporting.

And I think this is a bit of a PR nightmare, but I also think this site does have a serious harassment problem the staff does not take nearly seriously enough while it also seems to punish in equal amounts blogs that get harassed AND blogs that were literally just minding their own business, with really the main similarities being that they are blogs owned by people belonging to seriously marginalized and at-risk demographics talking about controversial topics like racism and LGBT politics.

It is really quite frustrating that there are now accusations that trans mascs talking about their own oppression are behind this, when not only is there no proof behind the claim but also even without a lot of direct knowledge I am seeing a certain demographic cheering that their mass reports worked and I gotta say, that demographic largely isn't trans mascs.

I also think there is a lot of hypocrisy floating around, because some of these blogs I'm seeing mad about this latest streak of bans are also people who themselves have advocated for harassing others and mass-reporting others who simply fail the vibe check while just existing as themselves, off this website. And while those users don't have the power of the literal CEO, they're failing to see how they've contributed to the problem of this website's user culture of "send the most vile thing you can think of en mass until they break and leave and good riddance".

I say this as someone who also has been harassed by a band of people wanting to chase me off of this website. It is why I don't interact much with dogblr anymore. I have had several people who joined in that dog pile later approach me and apologize, but the damage is still done and I am not interested in engaging with a "community" so willing to tear someone apart on flimsy accusations that weren't even true. I almost killed myself that night, I had a mental break and turned off my blog completely for several days just to make it stop, and returned to see people similarly crowing with delight that they'd successfully run me off. It's happened to me, and the perpetrators were almost entirely white cisgender women, and I have been very reliably told by multiple other people that both my blackness and my transgender status were significant motivators in their poor behavior.

This also happening in the wake of yet another transgender teen killed by their peers has left me simply mentally and physically exhausted. I began involving myself more in the transgender community on here because I wanted this to stop. I wanted to help uplift my siblings and get them out of the pit before the whole thing caved in. It's feeling very hopeless right now for trans kids around the world and in the mean time it's also apparently my fault a trans woman I don't even know got banned I guess..

In any case. Hold your head up. We'll get through this, somehow. We always have. We always will.

[dyslexicandakeyboard]

Sorry - to correct. The place where Talia Al Ghul threatens to kill Huntress Helena Bertinelli out of jealousy that she might be Batman’s new “concubine” in the 90s Batman Legacy Event is in the issue Robin (1993) #33 and this was way way before Morrison and definitely way before 9/11. She was just not purely good person and was prone to these antics in her own ways (upset over Bruce not answering that they belonged together over Selina and threatening to rip their heart out if they got together at the end of Tec #526, for example) and I think it was really the Demon Trilogy (which O’ Neil who created her himself didn’t like and editorial wanted taken out because they didn’t approve and saw it as an out of wedlock romance), B:TAS nostalgia, and that era’s editorial (run by O’ Neil again) keeping Batman from his other significant romances that helped her a bit. Even when you go read the write ins for her classic stories she was never as popular as say, Selina (and you can tell from the Lazarus Affair Arc)

Yep, a lot of it is rose-colored glasses and nostalgia that has lead to this laughable brain-rot.

Many Talia Stans seem to think that Talia is Bruce's endgame (Which is not only stupid but a disservice to both their characters) and try to harken back to the good ol' days (Which weren't all that good) where Talia was this "heroic anti-heroine", which isn't really true, perfect for Bruce to prove their point. The Demon Trilogy, despite being non-canonical since it's conception, is taken as gospel in their circle and spurs them on. They also like to yap about how Talia is based off a Bond Girl, which in their eyes makes her Bruce's wife despite Bruce being a separate character from James Bond and that the character they say she's based off of dies.

Plus, most of their complaining that Morrison wrote a racist and sexist version of Talia usually fall short with this information (i.e all of the arcs she's been in where she's done bad and questionable things). This isn't to say that DC hasn't been racist or sexist (Batman Legends of the Dark Night first few issues, Holy Terror or any of their earlier works are examples) or that all Talia's depictions have always been free of any bigotry. But most of them use these accusations to stop any conversation that invalidates their version of Talia. Also, I've spoken about racism and sexism within fandoms (DC, Voltron, The Bear) in irl plus I'm literally mixed, so I'm not trying to invalidate anyone.

It's also weird how this attitude has flowed into the wider fandom and causes people to have this strange vision of Talia because if we look at this relationship without these blinders (nostalgia) still portraying Brutalia as a romantic relationship is just down right creepy and borderline abusive. Like in many of their interactions post O'Neil (And even under his editorial), Talia is honestly a down-right over-possessive, manipulative person with abusive tendencies and Bruce enables her. It's stifling because you can't treat it as anything other than romantic and healthy.

Plus, Talia's fans end up being more sexist as they take away Talia's agency when confronted with her bad actions and treat her like a child.

The panels mentioned.

Plus more panels of Talia being unlikable/abusive

[rosethreeart]

im gonna be honest but your response to being told that your china's features dont look very asian is kind of wild, especially considering op was an asian person. Like, the fact a non-asian creator received criticism by an affected minority and basically told them that they were wrong about how their own ethnic background looks is kind of insane?? Especially when like, they offered advice on how to make it look more accurate. I know that your intentions likely weren't to do that and you were just being defensive because,,,, who isn't when accused of racism, (like i feel you) but I think you need to realise that there's nothing that screams "I don't care what minorities think" more than... effectively telling a POC you know what their people look like more than they do. Really, all it took was being open to criticism, and being willing to play around with his features to see if they could be adjusted (hm,,, maybe make the eyes less centred so they dont look so heavy set, go a little easier on those very obvious eyelids, etc) to look more asian instead of the artistic version of skull measuring (/J) lolol. Anyways thats just my two cents

I might sound a bit incoherent or blunt but I just have a migraine and this day has NOT been good /gen

As I stated before I 100% understand where people were coming from in regards to it and that I don't take the issue of whitewashing/making things eurocentric lightly and that I do take care to make characters look like the ethnicities they belong to.

Sometimes things look wonky! Shit happens!!

Quite frankly I was being defensive but to go ahead and once again assume ill intent and that that defense was some "I know better than you" rhetoric is exactly why I was defensive in the first place.

someone pointed an issue out, I said that I have that noted for future reference and that this was very clearly a one off issue, and that Im also showing that the sketch was poorly positioned but the lower nose bridge is still present and that bad faith and bad intentions should not always be assumed. Honestly this should have really just been a one and done move on situation especially for a sketch I did in less than five minutes.

I'm also just extremely 3-Dimensional in the way in which I think when it comes to the art process which is why I included the drawings not because of some weird "skull measuring" thing (which wouldn't even have made sense in the context anyways and honestly wild to even accuse someone of doing). I just could not word it without writing out an essay or some incomprehensible word vomit. I was just using a tactic commonly found in animation where you use "onion skins" to find the next breakdown/inbetween in the sequence to help show how he would have looked like from a front facing perspective with a neutral facial expression.

I'm not saying that I don't care or that I know more than them, and that is actually pretty close to the opposite of what I said verbatim!

I just felt the need to note that the features I showed are valid features and that simply reducing all people of east asain decent into having the same exact face (or just nose) shape is weird especially considering how much diversity there is. There are a wide variety of features in China and to go ahead and say that only ONE of them is valid and should be depicted is something that SHOULD receive push back not matter any previous context, which is what I was pointing out in the first place.

[sapphic-agent]

As a POC I could not handle any longer the way they excused Lea's actions on the Glee subreddit. I left permanently because of it. It angered me the day someone on the sub said that Lea apologised. Lea did not apologise. More than enough times, I've seen Lea be defended on that sub and people get upvoted for it and I couldn't stand it any longer.

The tipping point for me was that people started to say that Santana fans can't keep their feelings about Naya separate but at the same time they're known strong Rachel fans and Rachel defenders and have shown support to Lea multiples all the while being overly-critical about Santana. It was just brewing into hypocritical territory for me.

As a teen, Naya helped me in ways that's hard to explain. Her passing affected me deeply. To see that a few people, going off of the multiple upvotes, were agreeing with comments made accusing Santana fans of mixing their feelings about Naya with Santana in an unhealthy manner was hurtful. Lea fans also double down on putting Rachel on a pedstal to not talk about Lea's past actions on the glee sub but it's not spoken about.

So grateful that you spoke up about this major issue when it comes to Lea on the Glee sub. Your willingness to speak up about the issues on the Glee sub makes me feel less alone.

Omg thank you! That's so nice of you to say. I really do try to steer away from real people on this blog because I want to be primarily media-based. But the Glee sub makes me so fucking mad. They're the definition of performative activism and double standards. Supporting and/or forgiving Lea is just shitty, no matter how many times they try to justify it.

Naya- and Heather- helped me a lot too. They brought to life one of the healthiest, most important sapphic couple of the 2010s (my username was inspired by them lol, that's why they were my old pfp). They made me feel okay to be myself and comfortable in my sexuality. Her passing affected me for a long time too, it was like I couldn't process it.

I know exactly what you're talking about, when people would accuse Santana fans of conflating Santana because of Naya's passing. Like, right after it happened. It was really an awful thing to say because a woman was dead. Her life and memory were more important than their favorite character getting shit. They're vile.

If anyone can't separate the actor from the character it's Finn fans. Cory was a great guy- people always said him and Dianna were the nicest of the cast- and he also passed while the show was still running. A lot of Finn's "likability" came from Cory's charisma and comedic timing. If Cory was still alive I really don't think as many people would defend Finn.

(Tbh, I think Cory himself would shit on Finn. His mom once said that Santana slapping Finn was his favorite scene)

I also feel like people (including other POCs) don't actually understand why Lea was (is?) racist. Racism isn't just "I hate minorities and don't think they deserve rights." It's way more complicated than that. Lea might not have been throwing the n-word around (though, she was derogatory at least towards Samantha with that "shit in her wig" comment), but she absolutely viewed her being white as being superior to her WOC coworkers.

It's a pretty common thing for Black girls. Hell, I even experienced it from girls I called my friends. They're so "down✊🏾" but will be quick to remind you how more cultured and better than you they are.

If you haven't been taught about or experienced these things, you won't know that. But attempting to shut down WOC who have experienced it is shitty. Lea fans trip over themselves to defend someone who went out of her way to bully a younger Black coworker just because she could.

(Also, she was outwardly transphobic. Not letting anyone forget that either. If she was so willing to be transphobic, what makes you think she wasn't racist?)

Lea fans have no excuse. I liked and looked up to JKR too, but the people she hurt (and continues to hurt) are more important than how much I admired her or how much I enjoyed Harry Potter. I was disgusted by her and had no issues condemning her. Lea fans are hypocritical, self-righteous performative activists

[flashfuture]

[Last time on Kyle Rayner's relationship with sexuality] and humanity we saw Kyle Rayner's teenage assistant/friend Terry Berg brutally injured in a gay bashing. He might never wake up. Kyle caught the people who did it. But he's not settled yet. So let's finish this

Green Lantern vol 3 #155 released in 2002

This issue begins with John Stewart arriving after Kyle called him. And then Kyle leaves to go handle something.

What Kyle was doing was begging Wally to go back in time and let him save Terry. Wally said no. Kyle freaks on him about them doing it for no other reason than him being gay. Then Bruce shows up and is all "we all want one day back"

Kyle accuses Bruce of forgetting how to be a person. Because Bruce is comparing what I assume is Jason's death to Kyle about to lose his friend. But the context here isn't the same as Bruce losing a family member because the story here isn't About Terry in a narrative sense but about Kyle's perception of bigotry specifically in regards to sexuality in this case and how he feels about it.

So then Kyle goes into Space to punch rocks and Spectre Hal comes to meet him. And discusses with him what Kyle could have done the things he has done. And Kyle acknowledges how many people he's helped but he's really stuck on Terry's life as his failure. To which Spectre Hal is like bro stop punching rocks and go home good news awaits.

And Kyle is overjoyed about it. He sits down and speaks to Terry who has woken up but his memories are pretty hazy his skull was very damaged. Terry can't actually speak but write. And seeing Terry crying on the bed it just breaks Kyle in half

"I can't help these people now. I don't want to. Earth will have to get by without me."

"I know that there are millions of cultures out in the vastness of the universe that make the brutality we experience or propagate on Earth seem tame. But those cultures aren't my own. Maybe it's shame. Maybe it's anger. I can't tell you for sure."

And so Kyle writes a letter to John Stewart and leaves him a power ring to protect Earth with. Kyle abandons Earth because he couldn't handle the idea of protecting people who would do something like a gay bashing. That's so deeply personal. It is insane they have never elaborated on how Queer of a story this is. Not just in a bringing attention to gay rights but in an exploration of who Kyle is as a person.

When I read this story years ago I said yeah he cares a lot about Terry which is absolutely true Kyle adored that kid. But I compared it a lot to the 90s Hate Crime arc (yes there are two hate crime arcs) where it was about race and in that instance, Kyle could only be an observer as he worked with Connor Hawke who was actually facing racism but it was mainly about the larger context of racism and how rich people exploit it. This version of hate crime is so much more personal to Kyle himself. He decides he literally can't live on Earth where his people are so filled with hatred he just can't

[ominous-faechild]

Happy Worldbuilding Wednesday! What would you say is the defining trait of any of your settings?

Omg, this is a very difficult question to answer because I do a LOT of worldbuilding, haha. But let's see...

I think, technically, the most defining traits of my settings is how different they are? I hop around the (in-universe) world in each individual story, and each in-universe country is inspired by real world cultures. But mostly drawing inspiration from ancient cultures because I explicitly prefer ancient history to modern. Plus, it's more fun to research. Which--ha--I'm definitely in the minority for feeling this way, I know!

I actually mentioned this recently toward the very end of another post I made recently, but I'll restate it for convenience's sake, haha... and then go into more detail.

Glavnran (tAR) is Slavic (drawing primarily from early Slavic history, while I do my absolute best to figure out what the folklore was like before Christianity got its grubby hands on it. A polytheistic spinoff of Christianity exists in my story, appropriating a lot of its themes and imageries. That religion exists nowhere near Glavnran, so it has no place there. Also I think I've made it clear I dislike Christianity.)

Jhandar (tAR) is Indian (off the top of my head, I can't recall if I was taking from any specific era, but I'm drawing on inspiration from Hinduism and there's a prominent caste system. Jhandar is also an empire, drawing inspiration from Rome and especially the rule of the Qin Dynasty of China. While not exactly thematically relevant, it's fun and helps explain some things I wanted happening in Glavnran/the surrounding countries. Oh, yeah, Glavnran is under the thumb of the Jhandan Empire. It's why there's so much tension between the Glavni and Jhandan peoples.) (Also, the blue-and-red coloration here isn't a "good-and-evil" thing. To anyone who's read anything about my writing, it should be VERY clear that Glavnran isn't a great place and is, in fact, full of crime and -phobias of all sorts. It's based on their temperatures/climate, haha. I would've put Glavnran as orange but that fits other countries better.)

Lynsmouth (SaS) is Western European (the Western World gets a lot of focus in media, so Lynsmouth and the country it takes place in that I've definitely named get to be the Token "West" in my writing. It gets inspiration from all over Western Europe, but I've primarily focused on France and the Netherlands for it. It's also got Italian-style mafias, haha. They have the Christian-adjacent religion where they glorify a single god. It is, however, subtly dying out, because of Lore and immigration of a sort. The "new arrivals" so to speak have their own religions.)

Kihroin (RFtA) is Northern African (as in Islamic. I'm most likely leaning most strongly into Morrocan inspiration for anything "modern", but obviously most strongly leaning toward ancient history. Islam itself obviously won't appear in my writing, as I'm working within a fantasy world with provably real pantheons of gods. I haven't decided how I'll adapt their hyper-religiousness into Kihroin, especially because I'm personally uncomfortable with religion (though I bet you couldn't tell) and yet want to adapt something that major to their modern culture(s) into my writing. Yet another reason RFtA isn't a current project.)

Cirrane (RFtA) is Latin American (given that actual Native American history is incredibly difficult to get our hands on--cough cough THANKS COLONIZERS, THANKS CHRISTIANITY cough cough--it has a lot more modern inspiration(s) than ancient. Howeverrrr... that's not necessarily a "bad" thing considering that Cirrane is a very bad place and I know plenty of people will @ me accusing me of racism for it anyway. Nah, man, it's pretty much everywhere in my writing! It's almost like it makes for a better story! Also my Mexican gf approves of what I'm doing with it, so take THAT, SJWs.) (Oops, I ranted there for a second. Long story short, it takes a lot of inspiration from all over Latin America! That applies to the other two "Latino" countries too, though, haha. Besides that, it's also stolen quite a bit of imagery from Rome. Ah, that must be where the Evil's from. /hj)

Tzakah (RFtA/tCC) is also Latin American (one of my favorite places in all of my worldbuilding!!! Is also extremely tropical. It's a lot more "original" of a culture due to worldbuilding stuff, but it still takes a lot of Latin American Inspiration.)

Minogua (RFtA/tCC/???) is the last Latin American country (explicitly has a previous history of colonization that they've (relatively) recently shaken off through rebellion and ousting the authorities from other countries. Tackles a lot of those issues a lot more directly and has them more modern than the other two. Though it makes sense considering Tzakah was previously part of Cirrane. Regardless! There's lots to possibly tap into, but Minogua so far only has characters originating from there. Well, and minor plots relevant to those characters but y'know. I definitely want to eventually make a story placed there eventually to more directly explore its themes!)

Honorable mentions/speedrun:

Isagnea (tAR, though idk how much it'll show up, and ???) is Italian (not very worked on, but it's the home country of some side characters... hence why it's not really worked on. It'll definitely see more attention if and when it becomes relevant. Most likely, it won't be until if/when I work on another story focused on those characters. Or, y'know, it appears in another story.)

Ilyich (tAR, tho it likely won't show up more than once) is Slavic (country Glavnran was once a part of, before they split off (not peacefully) over religious differences. Methinks a Christian-esque religion might actually be rather hated by the Glavni people...)

Shilyma (tAR, mentioned but not visited) is a Slavic/Asian mix! (so, yknow, likely would take inspo from Mongolia? Not too developed, but is like Tzakah in that its origins are unique.)

Anispe (tAR, end of series, and ???) is Greek (spoilers! 😁 But Jhandar is actively at war with it, trying to get them under its thumb as well! I have Plots to eventually make a story centered on Anispe before it was Anispe, too!)

Shaoraigh (SaS) is Celtic (an oldie but goodie! I did a good bit of worldbuilding here in the past even though it's never appeared in my writing. One of its gods are VERY important in the worldbuilding, however.)

Drønhals (SaS) is Celtic/Norse (Freya's home country, was once part of Shaoraigh (in-universe) but they separated over religious differences!)

Tulidin (tCC) is Chinese (I'm probably changing its name eventually, though. Also has minor worldbuilding and a character originating from there.)

Shoutout to misc unnamed countries that exist, but I've never gotten around to naming them for one reason or another! Like, for example, the Jhandan-Glavni colonies Rieka and Adilzhan are from and the Hawaiian-and-Japanese-inspired country hidden away from the rest of the world. (Wish I could make it Pure Hawaiian, but... you try doing research on Hawaii. Join me in my hatred for Christianity.)

Can you tell I've been writing/working on this world for ten years?

This post has gotten WAY longer than I was expecting (though really I should've figured, smh) so I'll make this last bit quick:

The technology contained within each country/story is very different, both due to wealth gaps and time period jumps! There's... a lot of worldbuilding. The Arcane Rifts takes place approximately 200 years before Sun and Shadow and Rising From the Ashes (which are connected to each other), so that on top of the exploitation from Jhandar means they're not going to have the greatest tech for example. Sorry this was so long! Hope you enjoyed reading!!!

Also, apparently I have more of Western Europe in my worldbuilding than I thought. Now I'm disappointed in myself.

Also-also, I misread this Ask. I thought it was asking for the defining traits in everything... whoops. I made this WAY harder on myself than I needed to.

Tagging those interested!: @the-golden-comet @the-letterbox-archives @honeybewrites @darkandstormydolls @mysticstarlightduck

@urnumber1star @aalinaaaaaa

[deathbysports]

Problematic Players and You

(PT: Problematic Players and You)

Trigger Warning: This post discusses several triggering or otherwise sensitive topics, including, but not limited to, abuse sexual assault, bigotry, and violence. Reader discretion is advised. Additional Disclaimer: This is not a post defending the actions of athletes mentioned *nor* is it an attack on said athletes (or their fans!). This is about dealing with serious events involving players as a whole.

Have you ever woke up one day and found out that your favorite race car driver said some not-so savory things? Have you ever checked the news one day and found out a hockey player you love was accused of rape? Are you a new sports fan who did research on an athlete you like only to find out they're a straight up creep? And have you ever asked yourself: “Where the hell do I go from here?” when it comes to merch you’ve already bought or the amount of gifsets you’ve made for them? Well, you’ve come to the right post! Because let’s face it, we’ve (probably) all been there, done that and got the t-shirt (Err, jersey). 

First off, what defines a problematic player?

Well... there's not really a set definition. Everyone has a different idea of what's 'problematic' and what isn't. However, there are some deeds that athletes do that are... kind of ick, so any of the following could make them be considered very problematic:

-Bigotry (ex. Racism, homophobia). -Cheating (as in cheating on your spouses. Not cheating as in using PEDs even though that too is also kinda trashy). -Abuse, sexual assault, etc. -Questionable/not so great political opinions.

And then there’s athletes who’ve been involved in so many off-ice controversies and allegations that it’s reached a point where regardless of how many are true or not, and no matter how much new information is revealed, they won’t be well liked by fans (Patrick Kane, anyone?). Okay, but why do athletes do this crap in the first place?

Well... there's a couple theories on why some do these things.

Sometimes mental and environmental factors can influence an athlete’s decision making. Say, if an athlete was abused by a coach when they were young, that might factor into any actions, good or bad, a player makes in the future. In cases of bigoted opinions, athletes are raised to have such opinions.

Age can also play a factor into a player’s actions. The younger they are, the more likely they’re going to do stupid shit (Or so I've noticed, please correct me if I'm wrong lmfao). Again. The theories are limitless. However most of the time athletes do these things because... they chose to do that. And a part of that is being because sports culture. Yeah. Sports culture sucks. Who would've known?

So do problematic athletes... stay problematic forever?

Well, yes and no.

As much as our first instinct is to “cancel” said athletes and pressure them to take accountability, we should also give them a chance to grow when they do take accountability instead of pushing the issue further.

However, that also depends on if they chose to grow. Hell, it depends if they even admit to making a mistake or admitting to guilt at all (which is, unfortunately, very impressive in a society like this). If they don’t.. Well, that’s their choice. Best we can do as fans beyond that point is just spread awareness. Remember: 99% of the time celebs won't listen to their fans. Some will. But do not expect your favorite to do the right thing. You will be disappointed. Another thing to keep in mind is that even if changes to character are made, people (us included) will still probably continue to view them differently for a while. As much as we’d like to put the past behind us, that just isn’t easy. (And besides, in the long term this is probably a good thing, since as fans it’s not our place to forgive; that’s up to the people affected). Actually while we’re at it..

Help! What should I do when an athlete (including my favorite) gets into controversy?

It’s always stressful (and sad) when an athlete you’ve admired and looked up to is eventually outed as a terrible person. It’s even more stressful when you’re a newer fan to sports and you just find out about said problematic deeds.

Well, first thing's first: process your emotions, and feelings. And once you're done crying, screaming, whatever action you're doing to process your feelings, spread awareness if you feel comfortable enough doing so. When spreading awareness though: DO RESEARCH AND ONLY SHARE RELIABLE SOURCES. Unfortunately serious allegations almost always have misinformation popping out. Hell, sometimes "allegations" may just be someone causing trouble on the internet (Corey Perry situation, anyone?). If the source is from a random Twitter user (that doesn't work in journalism), or the source is from a site like Deadspin and/or TMZ or any other site that has a history of clickbait, odds are, it's best to take it with a grain of salt. Team fansites (like RMNB, a Caps site) are also not always reliable, so take caution when reading through them as well.

It's better to stick with actually known sources like ESPN, Bleacher Report or a journalist like Elliotte Friedman. Rick Westhead and Katie Strang are really good journalists when it comes to issues relating to hockey. Additionally, do not expect to know *all* the information. Do not demand all information to come out. Sometimes not everything can be shared for legal reasons. Be patient and wait for everything to come out. And even then, don't expect it to be everything that happened (because again, legal reasons). Also, don't expect other people to talk about the incident in question! Do not guilt others into discussing it, do not force others to post about it. Focus on what you can do before focusing on what others can do! After most information (if not all of it), it's up to you to come to your own conclusions. Lastly, regardless of what your decision is, whether you decide to stop supporting them or you choose to believe they did nothing wrong (for any reason), but you're stuck on what to do anyway... Well... and this is probably anticlimactic I know, what to do is... up to you!

Internet wise, your internet space is your space! Your Tumblr blog is your blog! If you wanna stop posting about that player and also delete every single mention of said player outside of spreading awareness? Great! That’s your choice! Wanna keep said posts up but tag them and/or add a disclaimer! Also great! Wanna keep posting them or writing fics about them? Completely fine! Just tag it accordingly and keep in mind why these folks may not like said players. And *please* continue to be critical of said players when they do something wrong. Your favorite is not immune to criticism.

(In other words, yes Hawks fans, you’re allowed to post your Kane gifs and 1988 fics. Just tag it accordingly. And just know that people *will* probably judge you for it).

One thing you should not do however: DO NOT CENSOR NAMES. This fucks with filters and screenreaders (More in-depth post on this here!).

And because apparently this still needs to be said, don’t wish injury or death on the players and for the love of Wayne Gretzky don’t fucking send harassment to their families (seriously why do people do this fucking garbage holy fuck).

Secondly, don’t buy their jerseys or other merchandise from official sites! They will profit off that. If you've already brought it, don't just throw it out. Instead, leave it in storage, sell it or, if you're good at tailoring, try making something new out of it! Additionally (especially in cases of rape, violence, etc), SUPPORT THE VICTIMS INVOLVED. They need it the most.

What about the folks that continue to support said athletes?

If someone continues to post an athlete that’s done not great things, it’s tempting to educate them and tell them (which, if you’re going to do so, please tell them gently and not yell at them, especially if they’re a newer or younger fan who has zero clue what’s going on) But if they already know (which odds are they probably do unless they’re a newer fan), and/or they refuse to stop posting about them after being told, the best plan of action is to just… leave them alone. Just leave them be. Do not bother them further. Do not harass them. Do not send them threats. And for goodness gracious don’t make a callout post or blocklist of every single supporter of said athlete.

(Seriously attempting to make a long blocklist never ends well, especially since half the time the users on said blocklist turn out to be literal children).

That said though, if your friends/mutuals are actively defending bigoted comments and/or making statements that borderline towards abuse apologism, it’s not a bad idea to hold them accountable in a private setting. Yes I said private setting because most drama can be avoided with a private DM. But other than that... someone still writes 1988 fic? Leave them be! Someone still makes gifsets of Alex Ovechkin? Leave them be! Hell, someone still talks about the Staals? Just leave them be! The best course of action is to… just use the block button and/or filter posts accordingly. That’s literally it lmfao.

But why do people continue to support these athletes anyway?

Well it all comes down to the following: A. They have trouble grappling with the fact that they are, in fact, problematic. B. They’re Neurodivergent (especially autistic or individuals with ADHD), or struggling IRL, and kinda rely on those people to function or get through the day. 

C. Detaching yourself from a problematic figure is… really easier said than done. It is not easy at all lmfao. D. They're refuse to listen to info. E. They genuinely have no clue what's going on. Either way. Don't judge too harshly. Not everyone can just stop supporting a person/media and guess what? It's not as easy as 99% of Tumblr dot com thinks. Not everyone can just stop enjoying/liking something. And guess what? That's actually O-KAY. Last thing to know.

Lastly, you, yourself, *could* probably be supporting a problematic player right now! And you would never know until much later! At the end of the day, 99% of athletes have done problematic things one way or another. And honestly, if we tried to get rid of every problematic person... there probably wouldn't be any people left on Earth at all. Yeah, some actions are more shittier than ever, but trying to make everything "unproblematic"... is never going to work no matter how you look at it, and that is OKAY.

Remember the most important rule (stolen from someone on discord with the second edited by me!):

Now get out there and cheer for whatever player you'd like.

(Special thanks to @hard4softthings @saucerfulofsins @tapejob @youneedtolookatthis @restingbuchface @bedardconnor and a bunch of other folks for providing most of the advice/info/tips for this post!)

[thessalian]

Thess vs US Interference

Yes, I know y'all know that Mango Mussolini is a dickwaffle of the highest order. But he's not content to make America grotesque again with his anti-DEI bullshit; he's trying to force it on the UK too.

Now, I did some reading and Googling about this before I went around blabbing it on Reddit, because the first I saw of it had the potential to be clickbait, and was far too blunt even for Trump. But the truth as I've seen it isn't much better.

You will probably see a post on Former-Twitter saying that Trump is saying that he will only do a trade deal with the UK if we drop all LGBT protections. This is ... close, and probably about what they mean, but not quite accurate. What Trump et al are saying is that if the UK wants a trade deal with the US, they have to follow Trump's lead as regards the complete eradication of hate speech laws. So honestly, it's kind of worse.

See, yes, it'll make some problems for the LGBT community - and the fact that the T portion of that acronym is already under significant threat in this country doesn't exactly help keep people from panicking. The thing is, though ... they are not the only people who get hate speech, and while I acknowledge the threat to the LGBT community (largely because I am a part of it and honestly, I'm at least somewhat the part that doesn't get any protections anyway, as asexuality is still pathologised while homosexuality is not) ... what about the threat to people of colour?

Like, seriously, we have a lot of POC here. I literally cannot imagine going so far as outside of my flat and only seeing white people. I live near Peckham, which is largely a combination of Afro-Caribbean, Filipino, and Nigerian in terms of its population. The guys who run my local corner shop are ... I think Pakistani? London as a whole is hugely diverse. However, that does not mean we don't have bigots. Of course we have bigots. Everywhere has bigots. To follow Trump's lead in terms of eradicating hate speech laws is to open these people who are just trying to live their lives to so much hate, and I just ... have lost all ability to cope at the very thought.

(Side bar: if it's not racism, it's xenophobia. Around the time of the Brexit referendum, Polish people in this country were getting a loooooooot of shit, up to and including the defacement of at least one Polish community centre.)

Also, consider faith-based hate speech. Anti-semitism accusations are how Labour ousted all their actually left-wing politicians and got the shit-show we're living with right now, and not all of those were exaggerated for a political agenda. People are already shitty about Muslims. Do we as a country need to make things worse for them?

Like I said, I see the threat this poses to the LGBT community, for very obvious reasons. But I'm sure as hell going to flag up all the other people that this is going to fuck over if it gets implemented. I own my privilege, but I feel like that privilege, shaky as it is, means that I need to think beyond my privilege, if you get me. I don't want to be at the tail end of the "first they came for--" speech, so that means that ... well, like my new favourite T-shirt says, "When one of us gets attacked, we all roll for initiative". For me, that means sounding a call to arms for everyone, not just myself.

The worst part is ... it could happen. Starmer is now getting a significant reputation for throwing anyone inconvenient under the bus. He and his government sure as hell did it with the disabled in terms of those budget cuts Labour made recently. Worst part? It was largely done because the US started yelling that everyone needed to spend more on defense. So our army gets more money while we the disabled get forced into jobs we can't do without pain, or else starve.

Thing is ... currently the UK is trying to stay neutral in all this, because the UK is a financial mess after Brexit and it can't afford to alienate anyone any more than it already has. With this, the US government is going to make it impossible to stay on the fence. Trade deals with the US will involve not just caving to Trump's demands on how we run our country, but also severely reducing our food standards. (Because, seriously, your chlorine-bleached chickens are not a thing that is allowed here, and that's one of our main fears about a US trade deal in the wake of Brexit.) That would cripple our relations with the EU. But if we side with the EU, we get hit with the tariff stick.

I don't know what happens next. Either we get another drop in living standards, which have been steadily declining since Brexit ... or we get a different kind of drop in living standards as we become overly reliant on the US for trade. And the US - or someone in that clown show they call a government, anyway - must know that we're in a vulnerable position economically, or they wouldn't be so confident that a deal will definitely happen, and never mind all the terms they put on it that have nothing the fuck to do with trade.

Basically, I wish the fucking Cheeto would stick to ruining his own country. (Sorry, Americans; it's not fair that those of you who didn't vote for him have to deal with him either, I know. Just ... come on; surely the span of the Atlantic should keep us safe from him?)

[kiri-instinct]

I sometimes wonder if the defense of Israel would have been as fierce as it is now if their enemies had been white people.

I was thinking about recent happenings and remembered a news report I saw. I believe it was from an American channel. The reporter was talking about the Russian invasion of Ukraine, and how it caused thousands of Ukrainians to flee west, fearing for their lives.

It was the usual stuff for the time. How this was a tragedy, and how Russia should be held accountable. That sort of thing. All very true, of course.

But I remember something that stuck with me from that news report. It hit me like a freight train when I heard it. Maybe the news reporter had a slip of the tongue. Maybe he genuinely thought what he said was not fucking horrific.

"These are prosperous, middle class people. These are not people trying to get away from areas in North Africa."

Not people trying to get away from areas in North Africa. A lot of other, similar things were said at the time. I distinctly remember these:

"This is not a developing, 3rd world nation. This is EUROPE."

"This isn't a place, with all due respect, y'know, like Iran or Afghanistan. This is a relatively CIVILIZED, relatively EUROPEAN, and I have to choose those words carefully, too, city where you wouldn't expect that or hope that it is going to happen."

A lot of words to emphasize one thing: This is happening in a civilized nation, not like the ones in Africa, the '3rd world' or, God forbid, the Middle East. EUROPE is a civilized land, unlike them, the fact this is happening HERE at all is simply unfathomable!

Obviously, a lot of people criticized these wordings for their obvious racism. The idea that Europe and Europe alone was civilized, and that these nations, stuck in conflict thanks to borders we decided for them, are unwashed, barbaric hordes is just...obviously bigoted and, more importantly, wrong.

Then, Israel began its full-scale invasion of Palestine, starting off with declarations that even Russia dared not make. Yes, Russia's accusation that Ukraine was a Nazi state, or that it was somehow 'de-nazifying' it while its soldiers carried reactionary iconography, was obviously bad (and hypocritical). However, compared to Israel's government starting off by announcing clear intentions to level Gaza, that its soldiers were fighting "human animals," and that even the civilians of Gaza were to blame was far worse, and made Russia's blatant hypocrisy, lying and evil seem...tame, almost.

So, that's it. Israel invades Palestine with obvious malevolent intent, the world condemns Israel and we put together whatever we can to defend Palestine.

Except that never happened. Everyone rallied behind Israel. Joe Biden, with the same casual tone as you'd ask for a tenner, asked if he could trade weapons to Israel in complete secrecy. People were arrested en-masse for protesting against Israel bombing civilian holdings, refugee camps and hospitals. The US vetoed a motion against Israel as Israel violated the Geneva Convention over, and over, and over again.

I myself remember my bewilderment. I sent over clothes, hoping to help in any way I can, even relinquishing some clothes which had sentimental value, only to find out that it may be possible that my donations would never make it, as Israel began bombing the Lebanese border, and blockaded the Gaza Strip.

One day, I chose to skip school, not telling my mother, and went to a protest, hoping that my voice would do something, anything, to help. That same day, someone on TV called me and others like me agitators. Said we were stirring up antisemitism within our local communities.

Some time after that, my grandmother pulled me aside, having already guessed that I was on the side of Palestine, and warned me: The place I live in is massively pro-Israel, with many of my neighbors having chanted "Death to Arabs!" despite us having Arabic neighbors, according to her. If someone here were to find out I am pro-Palestine, I could risk social pariah status, and become unable to do anything. Simply because I support the rights of Arabic folk to live in peace.

My mind was clouded for a few days. The effort I could put in to help Palestine within my limits...was antisemitic? I was agitating people? We were evil for even daring to suggest this was a genocide? I could not wrap my head around it, then I remembered the words of those reporters talking about Ukraine.

"Not people escaping North Africa," "civilized, unlike Iran and Afghanistan," and "not a developing 3rd world country, but Europe".

The same message, but delivered in different ways: Those who are not in the West are uncivilized, brutal folk, not to be trusted. Tragedy falling upon them is expected, or, perhaps, welcomed.

Combined with the fact that Israel previously attempted to destroy local fauna in an attempt to appear more European, the realization hit me.

Israel is getting so much support because the West believes them to be "European enough" to get their neo-imperialist excuses. Israel is not the 'only democracy in the Middle East,' not really -- believe me, I have gone and voted in elections before. I have seen political rallies, and I have witnessed the same drama the average US voter witnesses. I live in a democracy, even if I do not live under a government I approve of.

Israel is simply the West's personal guy in the Middle East, hence the claim that it is the only democracy here. Really, it is just the only democracy they all approve of, rather than being the most legitimate one.

When government officials turn a blind eye to Zionists calling for the conquest of not only Palestine, but also Lebanon and Egypt, and when they censure their fellow politicians for saying, maybe, not every single Palestinian should die over a terrorist attack, they are not doing it because they sincerely believe Israel is the victim here, or because "right to defend oneself" is something that applies here -- they do it because Israel is white and Western enough for them to see as a worthwhile ally. To them, Palestine is little more than a shitty bunch of Arabs who can easily be discarded if their personal attack dog in the Levant gets to survive just one day longer and maintain their influence there.

Not even when the US was fighting the Nazis in WW2 did we think that killing German civilians was acceptable. Nor was "All of them" a proper, reasonable and POPULAR response to someone asking "How many must die before we have peace". But...these aren't good, civilized Europeans. These are Palestinians. ARABS! If their ethnic cleansing can result in our civilized Jewish friends in Israel liking us more and becoming more powerful, who cares if the entire Palestinian identity is extinguished?

So, I ask again: If Israel were to go up against a 'civilized' western, European and white nation, like say France, or Britain, or Germany, and genocide their peoples while they could do very little about it...would the response have been the same? Would US come to condemn any of those countries for faking death tolls or lie about seeing the Bundeswehr decapitating Israeli babies? Would people be arrested in France for demanding a ceasefire between Israel and Britain?

Given all that I have said, I do not think so. If any of those nations were to be attacked, Israel would be treated as Russia were -- depicted as barbarians, and told that their war was unjust and cruel. We'd have people on the news saying that this isn't North Africa, or Iran, and that no one'd expect Israel to do something so cruel to a fellow civilized nation.

But that is not happening. Israel's target for genocide, Palestinians, are, by all means, acceptable targets for the Western world. In the name of peace and global unity, they will pile high the bodies of anyone their fellow 'civilized nations' want dead.

But we cannot let them do that. We must scream, from rooftops if need be, that we will not stand for injustice. So, even if you feel hopeless and desolate in the face of great evil, do your best. Even the most minuscule action matters, because when a lot of little things come together, they can topple even the mightiest of giants.

From river to sea, Palestine shall be free. And don't you let them convince you otherwise.

[audelulu]

Covid Killed My Career

I think about my life before Covid a lot and how different my goals and aspirations were. I was still in my 20s, pursuing a career in what I thought was something I could really succeed in. I worked on events (creating them and also working them), was traveling cross country and getting paid to do it, and I felt like I really had a future in whatever it was I wanted to do next.

I drifted away from working solely in the music industry and photography but I stayed in the entertainment world. I was on track to do a lot of great things. Of course, that was before Covid hit. My goals and wants out of life were different and the trauma I endured was far less.

During the peak of covid, I watched a lot of folks suffer. I sat every day wondering if my dad would come back ill or if I would need to call a lawyer to bail him out of jail because they were rounding up any folks who were "out past curfew". I watched as POC got harassed and people who looked like me get accused of causing Covid. I was terrified that I'd get attacked going grocery shopping, so I concealed myself. Back then, when people still wore masks, this helped in making sure people didn't know what I looked like. I spent a good two years having anxiety and panic attacks, watching each attack happen through social media and the news. I had to explain to my new job why I didnt feel comfortable going into their very tiny office. Of course, they hadn't even considered that aspect because they were all white.

I had to pivot my career. I left one toxic work place after the next. I needed to move out because my mental health was suffering staying in environments that continued to disregard my boundaries. At this point in time, the only thing I was concerned about was "I need to make money with a remote job and I need to move out." For a minute it was fine, then I got laid off because I "didn't fit the culture" aka I refused to go into the office and brought up issues/questions which unfortunately didn't go with the flow and I simply was not interested in constantly hanging out with my coworkers.

I'm now at a job that's tolerable. It's probably the best I'm going to have in this climate. Nobody masks really and I still have to go in 1-2 days a week but at least the commute isn't too far and they don't question where I work from. It's not ideal but it's okay for right now.

It's not safe for me to be traveling due to covid, racism, misogyny, etc. I just don't think sacrificing my health is worth that anymore. I'm watching my best friend die a slow death due to long covid. I have learned there is much more than hustle culture. I don't want to BE working but if I had to - I wish I could have continued pursuing my past life..before covid. I slowly watched people pull away because they wanted to go back living their normal lives. Even completely cut me off because they didn't want to hear about it anymore, or about human rights issues, or about how absolutely fucked we are or how society has given up on the disabled/immunocompromised community.

It's sad. But I mourn the career and life I could have had. The version of me that was different than what I am now. I think a lot of people may share in this notion. All this to say - none of this truly matters. A death to a career I would have had is small fry compared to what else is happening but it still makes me sad that it could have come to fruition if the world, our governments and the powers that be didn't fail us.