#and mae...well he always looks sad

[papita474]

Two minutes doodles of traumatized gingers🤝

[moonstruckme]

hi mae !! i wanted to ask whether you would consider writing poly!marauders where reader has really bad/intrusive nightmares about maybe something bad happening to loved ones/aka the boys? i keep having nightmares at night and when i wake up i’m way too scared to go to sleep again and can barely calm down. it’s okay if you don’t feel comfortable though !! 🫂💞

Thank you for requesting <3

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 776 words

You choke on a gasp as you wake, frantic to escape the hands restraining yours. 

“Hey, hey.” Sirius is holding your wrists to his chest, his grip gentle but strong as he watches you with worried eyes. “You’re okay, baby. You’re okay.” 

As fast as you’d launched into wakefulness, it takes you a second to realize you’re not in danger. Your muscles slacken gradually. 

“Dove?” Remus croaks from behind you. Sirius continues to look at you with that steady, searching gaze, like he’s making sure you’re well and truly awake. 

“You alright?” he asks softly. “You want the light on?” 

Your face feels very warm. “I’m sorry,” you try to say, but your voice comes out a whimper, followed promptly by a stymied sob. 

You can see Sirius’ expression scrunch painfully even through the blur of tears. You want to tell him that you’re okay, that this is more an aftershock of past upset than anything, but when you open your mouth only another sob emerges. 

“It’s okay,” he shushes you, bringing your knuckles to his lips. “You’re fine, sweetheart. Let’s sit up.” 

He reaches for the lamp while you sit up against the pillows, your knees curling up towards you instinctively. It illuminates the comfortable safety of your room, so different from the horrorscape of the dream you’ve just had, as well as the tired faces of your boyfriends. 

James is fumbling for his glasses on the nightstand while Remus squints into the light, clearly trying to make out your face. Sirius leans against the headboard beside you, taking one of your hands back in his. 

“Bad dream?” he asks, though you already all know the answer. 

You nod anyway. 

Remus makes a sad humming sound. “You were saying something in your sleep. Do you remember what happened?”

“No.” You sniffle. “I don’t know…I don’t remember what happened. Just how it felt.” 

Remus’ brow creases with sympathy. You can see James peering at you from behind him, looking half desperate to crawl across his boyfriend’s lap to get to you, but they know better than to crowd you when you’re like this. For now, Sirius takes the lead. 

He runs his thumb back and forth over your palm. “Do you want to talk about how it felt?” he asks you. 

You chew your lips. “I don’t think so.” 

If possible, his eyes soften further. “Do you want a hug, sweet girl?”

You worry you’re going to sob again. “Yeah,” you manage tightly. 

“Oh, sweetheart.” Remus’ arms come around you eagerly. Tender and kind, he rubs your arm and uses one of his hands to bring your head to his chest, pressing a kiss to your hair along with a shapeless murmur. Though you can’t make it out, the sound of his voice is sweet enough to coax another tiny sob from you. 

James makes a sound of distress when he hears it. “Remus, you’re supposed to be making her feel better.” 

“Yeah, what the hell?” Sirius seconds. “Clearly, you’re doing it wrong.” 

Remus chuckles. You feel it rumble through him, and Sirius squeezes your ankle teasingly. 

“Is he making you sadder, baby?” 

“No,” you mumble. 

“Mm, prove it.” You look down, and James’ head is resting on Remus’ lap. “Give us a smile.” 

You do your best. You know it has to be watery and awful, but your boyfriend beams up at you nonetheless. 

“There she is.” 

“You two are awful,” says Remus, cupping his hand over your ear protectively. “She doesn’t want your coercive happiness.” 

Sirius hums. He squeezes up your calf until his hand is resting on your knee. “Do you think you’re going to be able to go back to sleep?” he asks you.

You peek at him. “Honestly?”

“Always.” 

“Not really, no.” 

He frowns, but there’s no accusation in it. Just disappointment on your behalf. 

“Okay.” James rolls off Remus’ lap, sitting up. “I have to get ready for training in half an hour anyway. Want to sit with me in the living room until then, angel?” 

You look at him despondently. “Jamie, you don’t have to get up.” 

“No, come on.” He comes around the bed to collect you. Remus lets you go somewhat begrudgingly, allowing you to be tucked under James’ arm. “I’d have been up soon anyway. We’ll let those two sleep, I never get you to myself like this.” 

“There’s to be no kissing while Remus and I are asleep,” Sirius says as Remus reaches around him to turn off the light. 

“Tyrant,” James replies as you leave the room. He brings his face close to yours, scruff tickling your cheek. “Now we have to kiss extra.”

[thecloudsaremyhome]

Pity party

Yandere batfam x neglected reader

Warnings: thoughts of suicide and depression

When have I ever been enough for them? When have they ever been their for me? When…when!

It’s like a constant void is inside of me tearing me from the inside and out slowly consuming my body and mind.

It all started when you lost your mother. She was never the best person figuratively but she was the best to you. She loved you so much and that’s all that mattered to you. Well at the time it did but you can't take anymore of the lonely nights alone you cant take the missed birthdays and missed events only to be forgotten later you cant take it anymore and the sad part is…. You only blame yourself every false promise, every forgotten birthday, every holiday spent alone you blame yourself. Why is that? Well you won't ever be good enough you'll never be good enough to be considered part of their family to have dinners in the dining room instead of up in your old room alone. To have movie nights together, to cuddle with dick and be on the receiving end of his affection to paint and draw with damian as we banter, to go shopping with Cassandra and stephanie, to at least hang out with barbara or to at least sit in silence with jason. You'll never be good enough ever and its hard to admit that fact but you had to have the universe have it out for you to make you suffer and it did its job well. It hurts it hurt so fucking bad that it just wants to make you scream to bang your head into the wall until it bleeds to cut yourself over and over again until the pain stops until the void is filled. Because in reality it will never be filled, the void in your heart and soul can never be filled. It will grow stronger and stronger until it bursts until you make the final decision to grab a knife and slowly slit your throat. Because when your mother died your soul died with her. But the only thing stopping your from achieving your plan was Alfred, he was your only solace and no matter how bad it hurt seeing him prioritize them over you he was still their at least. But it was never enough you will never be enough thats what you constantly reminded yourself throughout the fourteen years you've lived in the manor that you will never be good enough for anyone and you've accepted that fact over and over again with dicks false promises, damian's harsh words stephanie's pitying stare cassandera’s ignorance to your presence tims calculating gaze looking at you as if your an object and your fathers ignorant look to your absolute existence. It hurt it hurt so fucking bad seeing them bond seemlessy togther but then excluding you like your nothing more than trash maybe you are? Maybe you really are just a piece of garbage to them a fly in a room of butterflies you'll never shine like they do you'll sit in the background hoping and waiting for the chance to be loved the chance to feel affection for the first time, and sense well you don't know. All you can understand is you'll never be enough and thats fine youll just sit in the background as they shine you'll always be heard but never seen. You’ll wait and wait until its finally time to mae your exit and leave to go beyond the land of butterflies and explore a new and brighter land but be carefully little fly butterflies may be pretty but they are just as dangerous as well.

Authors note: hello everyone welcome to a series called pity party! This is a prologue! But you can all send in asks!

[filmbyjy]

ONE NOTE

SYNOPSIS > When you turned 18, you heard your best friend’s favourite song. Turns out, it was just one of the various signs to finding your soulmate. However, you couldn’t bring this up to jake. Not when he was in a happy relationship with your other best friend! Would you choose heartbreak or sacrifice your happiness for the sake of keeping the friendship?

THIRTY-ONE – family drama

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

WC: 3.1K words

a/n: this is a word vomit😍 hence why I took longer to write it. had multiple mental breakdowns whilst doing this and my college projects🥰 anyways I said it would be 2K worth of words but it’s more💀

receiving those messages from aria’s mom made you realise that humanity was definitely screwed ever since humans decided that they wanted to be the ‘king of the jungle’. how was 50 year old woman threatening a 22 year old man? you knew you had to tell jake. this was for your safety and the others safety too but, you couldn’t lie, the curiosity of finding out as to why aria was acting up and also why she didn’t have a soulmate was itching all over you.

of course, her behaviour could’ve easily stemmed from her childhood. this is how usually murderers and serial killers even start their dark path. trauma. you sighed and turned to look around your college dorm. small but cozy, perfect to fit 3-4 girls. so when aria got admitted and possibly also kicked from the school, you’d assume you were staying with just yvette and mae.

the door opens and shuts, there were shuffling noises at the front door. you didn’t bother to look, it was probably the girls or jake. marsh decides to inspect the sound at the front door. you heard her little mewls and a deep voice that followed after. once you had looked up, you noticed it was jake. he held up marsh on his shoulder, carrying her.

“hey, what’s up? why were you staring at the white cement wall?” jake says. you didn’t say anything, you were practically looking at him from head to toe. his jet black hair that was recently grown out so that it was longer. the denim jacket that he always wore and was so famously known for around the campus. his lips, full and plump as it can ever be. “okay, now you’re staring at me. there is definitely something wrong.”

“aria’s mom texted me.” you had admitted. jake frowns. “and before you say anything, she just texted me to ask you to go to some location. i’m not allowed to go.”

“well, that’s good she didn’t ask you to follow. i wouldn’t have allowed you to come with anyways. i don’t want to get you hurt.”

you could see the sadness in jake’s eyes, it was heartbreaking. you knew he was just confused more than ever. he didn’t know why everything was so complicated with aria when in fact it should be over. why was her mother involved with this somehow?

“how about i get sunghoon to hide somewhere so that you wont be alone?” you had asked. jake shook his head. he lets marsh down from his arms and she scurries off to the other rooms.

“i don’t want to harm any of you. besides, sunghoon has already been through it.” jake explains. you had huffed.

“and? stop pretending to be strong and nonchalant. 2 guys is better than one.” you could hear jake sighing.

“i’ve hurt you guys and especially you for so long. i don’t want to be a burden and ask you guys to-”

you were quick to cut jake off quickly, “a burden? jake, just cause you blew us off for years and became a jerk because of aria doesn’t mean you were a burden. we still cared about you. we didn’t think you were a nuisance. the only reason why we weren’t as close as back then was because of aria.”

“i know.”

“then if you knew, you’d let us help you.”

“you guys have helped me multiple times and i…i’ve just ruined our friendship for 6 whole years.” it was clear jake was about to breakdown. his eyes were starting to get glossy, the waver in his voice. the way he chokes on his own words. you did what you could only think of and went over to give him a hug.

jake accepts it. his arms snuggling right above your waist. his head parked right at the crook of your neck, you start to feel small droplets of tears fall onto your skin. jake sobs in your arms. in all your years of knowing him (since you were kids), jake was never the type to cry. this was the first time you were seeing him cry and you could feel the intensity of those feelings. was it the soulmate bond? you couldn’t bare to let him go, you had to let him cry on your shoulder.

when mae and yvette walked through the front door after 10 minutes of jake sobbing, you had gestured for them to pretend they didn’t see anything. they quickly got the note and pretended that they didn’t see anything. they both went to their respective rooms. you had rubbed jake’s back and he only seemed to tighten the hug like you were going to disappear from his grip.

“hey, i won’t leave you. i’m here.” you whispered in his ears softly, comforting him as best as possible.

once he had calmed down, he couldn’t look back up at you. he was embarrassed to have cried. you placed a finger under his chin. his eyes were slightly swollen, wet tears down his cheek. yet, he still looked effortlessly good looking. the universe really has their faves. “don’t be afraid to cry in front of me and be vulnerable. i’ve cried in front of you a bunch so you don’t have to feel embarrassed to do the same.”

he nods, looking in your eyes. there was something in the air. the tension was different. you feel jake moving closer slightly. his head tilting a little as his focus shifts from your eyes to your lips. you held in a breath watching him do so. however, the kiss never happens because mae yelled out loud when jake was just about to land his lips right on yours.

her hands were covering her eyes. “fuck! i’m so sorry!!” she apologises quickly before turning and running towards yvette’s room.

both you and jake turned to look at each other and laughed. that was one way to break the tension. moving onto later at night, you, yvette, mae and jake planned a big plan for what was going to go down tomorrow. it was a perfect plan that would be executed well.

jake’s guide to not getting murdered/kidnapped

1. make sure sunghoon is around and sneaking whilst hearing everything so that he could report to us. back up: jay

2. if aria’s mom ties jake up, keep something sharp in pocket that doesn’t look suspicious. you went to join boy’s scout at like 10, you should remember how to untie a rope dumbass

3. have the upper hand, never let your guard down

4. that’s about it. don’t get killed

as the sun rises, so do you. you had barely gotten any sleep. after creating the plan, you were up all night coming up clothing/dress ideas for your course. it was hard. you could barely think. especially since you kept thinking about that almost kiss. god, that really kept you up at night.

jake had woken up and his groans as he wakes up. the sun glaring right into his eyes. he sits right up and tugs on the curtain. the darkness consumes his room and he lays right back in bed. however, just as jake was on the brink of falling asleep again, the smell of eggs slips under his door. he shots up and practically lets the door fly open. he goes to the kitchen to inspect the smell and he was definitely greeted with the sexiest thing in the morning. you were in a messy bun, oversized shirt and pyjama shorts. this should be the most domestic thing ever but he felt his heart racing.

he goes closer. you were busy with the eggs that you didn’t notice jake. there were arms wrapping around your waist and then a deep sleepy voice whispers in your ears. “morning.” it sends shivers down your spine.

“m-morning. why are you up so early?”

“could smell the eggs from my room so i got up and went here.”

“it’s just eggs.” you explained.

“and pancakes. something you always made back then when i stayed over at your home for a sleepover.” jake says. it was true, he used to always sleepover as his parents were quite busy with their business. your parents always held out with open arms for jake whenever he was home alone. hence, most of the time he stayed over.

“we were 12 when i made for eggs and pancakes. it didn’t even taste that great. i think i burnt the pancakes a little.”

“well, i thought you did great at 12 years old.” you deadpanned at jake’s words.

“you always told me it was bad.”

“when have i?”

“are you trying to gaslight me?” jake leans closer. your breath hitches.

“no. i’m not trying to gaslight you. i just want to say my true feelings at 12 years old. you were great at making eggs and pancakes back then even if they were crispy.” he adds. you picked up the spatula and showed it to him, ready to hit him with it. he laughs and apologises.

there was a buzz on jake’s phone while you were eating breakfast and chatting but jake didn’t seem to care. he didn’t even acknowledge it so once he went to wash the dishes, you had peaked into his phone.

messages from an unknown number. definitely aria’s mom.

“you don’t have to care about that. i’ll be safe. don’t worry.” jake says.

picture this, you were looking right up at jake as he was standing right behind you. at this rate, you might as well recreate that one famous spiderman kiss. which is exactly why jake leaned in and placed his lips right on yours. you could feel your lungs start to feel lighter. like you were healing from your hanahaki. jake felt like this was right, kissing you felt right. it had fit into the puzzle. your hands reached up to cup jake’s face but he pulls back slightly. there was a slight pout on your lips that you had unconsciously did.

“don’t pout. i want to kiss you more but your neck is going to hurt if i continue kissing you like that.”

“you don’t find this romantic?”

“it is romantic but i want to properly kiss you.” jake says. you could feel your face heat up.

jake’s phone starts ringing. “you should pick it up.” you say. jake nods. he lightly places a peck on your forehead before picking it up.

you had to sit there processing what happened.

did you just kiss sim jaeyun?

“i saw that little stunt, young lady.” yvette’s voice brings you out of your trance. you had jolted a little and sighed in relief when you realised who it was.

“what stunt?” yvette deadpans at your words.

“don’t lie to me. you and jake did a spiderman kiss. gurl, are you that desperate for his dick. be honest.” she folds her arms. your eyes widened. you could feel your face turn warmer.

“no. why would i-”

“if girls had boners, you’d be having one right now.” yvette casually says. you were stunned.

“yvette, why do you have to say it so vulgarly.” mae says as she appears from her bedroom. she yawns. “if jake and (name) wanna have sex, then they could after all. they are soulmates.”

“i don’t want to fuc-”

“she’s not allowed to. jake still needs to prove that he is good enough for her. after all, 6 years of royally fucking up their super close friendship. almost killing her by plain out rejecting her. rude. i can list more of what happened through out these 30 episodes.” yvette explains. mae sighs, she pats your shoulder.

“you’re on your own (name).”

you had groaned. “it was just one kiss. we aren’t doing anything more than that. i am still waiting for jake to make it up to me.”

“but you’re slowly giving in. i get it, he’s your soulmate. it’s hard to say no and wait but like think about yourself. will you?”

“i know, i know. i’m thinking about myself and i will continue to do so. this was my one moment of weakness, okay? 13 year old me would be so happy.” you had huffed. yvette pinches your cheeks.

“look at you. you’re a simp. this is exactly why jake was your chosen soulmate. you two are simps that it’s gross.”

you rolled your eyes. it gets silent in the house. no chattering from jake in the other room. weird. you had stood up and went over to check up on him but he wasn’t there. oh crap. you had picked up your phone and dialed for sunghoon.

“hello?” sunghoon says.

“jake left to see aria’s mom.”

“already? goddamn it. let me leave now and maybe i can hide somewhere there.”

“alright, be safe.”

“i will.”

the call quickly ends and you had ran to the bathroom to bathe and get ready for the possible scariest time of your life. once you were done, you had ran to put on your shoes. yvette holds you back.

“hey, calm down.”

“i can’t. what if aria’s mom hurts jake?”

“she won’t after all. aria’s dad is the principal of a prestigious school. she can’t ruin his career.”

“we don’t know how crazy she can be.”

“sunghoon will be there. mae also called jay to be the backup. they’ll be there and we can be assured that jake will be safe.” yvette says. you didn’t know what to say or do because you were worried.

“don’t worry. let’s just trust jake. he’ll handle it.” mae places a hand on your shoulder.

“i hope so.” were the only the things you could say.

as for jake, he was busy walking towards a neighbourhood. the address led him to a gated community just like aria’s home however, he would’ve recognised aria’s home easily. he always found it weird that aria has never brought him to her house even in the 6 years they were dating.

‘what a weirdo’, jake thought. he didn’t want to associate himself to aria anymore though. there was no point, after all. he made it right onto the property. in a way, it looked like a witches’ castle. that is until an older man opens the door, he looked sophisticated. a little confused as to who jake was.

“who are you?” he asks. “my apologies, sounds a little rude to say so.”

at least whoever this guy was, he was nice.

“oh, umm. my name is jake. i was im aria’s boyfriend.” jake explains. the man’s eyes widened.

“oh, i’ve heard about you from aria. i am her dad.”

‘so much for the genes not coming from him. aria is not like him at all’, jake thought. he smiles slightly. “oh umm, mrs.im asked me to come over. she wanted to talk about something.”

as soon as jake mentions about aria’s mom, mr.im starts frowning. “she’s in the room. let me go get her. i’m assuming she wants to talk to you about our family.” mr.im pushes the door wider to let jake in. he enters the space. mr.im goes to get mrs.im. after a couple of minutes, aria’s mom appears. she walks down the stairs in her…fur coat(?)

‘crazy woman.’ jake thought as he eyes her down.

she smirks. “ah, jake. welcome to my home. the place where everything is perfect.” she dramatically says.

‘uh huh sure. everything is totally perfect. aria is equally as insane as you are, old woman. acting like a disney villain.’

mr.im rolls his eyes. “why don’t you sit down. the maids will prepare for you to drink something.” he tells jake. jake goes to settle down on the couch. mrs.im eyes mr.im, it seems like their marriage was not all that perfect.

mrs.im settles down on the seat. she sits down like a fine royal woman. however, she clearly isn’t. mr.im rolls his eyes once again.

“since you’re here now, jake. i must ask, why did you have to send our daughter to the mental institution? when she’s clearly fine.” she folds her arm.

“she’s not fine. i can assure you, the people at the mental institution will sort out her feelings and thoughts.” jake explains. mrs.im sighs.

“our daughter was fine before she met you. maybe you two should’ve broken up 6 years ago. you put us in so much trouble.”

“i know i should’ve after all, i have my own reasons as to why i should’ve left.” jake says.

“like what? falling in love with your soulmate? that’s utter nonsense. me and mr.im weren’t soulmates. we simply loved each other so much that we broke our soulmate bonds with our assigned soulmates.”

jake’s jaw drops. mr.im pinches the bridge of his nose.

“how many times do i have to tell you, i never wanted to marry in the first place. we both killed our soulmates by getting married! our daughter was also cursed to not have a soulmate because of your wrongdoings!” mr.im yells. mrs.im rolls her eyes.

“i didn’t kill my soulmate. you did. you wanted this as much as i did.” she fires back. jake watches them go back and forth. it starts to filter out as he processes what exactly was the reason why aria didn’t have a soulmate.

“then what? you go to her grave every single time during her death anniversary. for what? guilt?” mrs.im says.

“i’m doing it out of love. something that a heartless person like you doesn’t have.” mr.im answers.

these were all just family drama but certainly good information. jake didn’t want to intrude further. he had to leave. this was wrong. hence, he slowly stood up and stepped back, leaving the house quietly.

this explains why aria didn’t know what a soulmate was. she doesn’t have a tied soulmate to her. all because of the curse that her mom had started. now all the generations after aria wouldn’t be able to have a soulmate. her kids wouldn’t grow up with a soulmate tied to them. this was a big news. a news he had to break to you and everyone else.

once he leaves the place, sunghoon pops out the shrubs.

“oh fuck.” jake jumps back. sunghoon snickers and pats his shoulder.

“heard something huge?” he asks. jake sighs.

“very huge family drama. i’ll tell you and the others when we get back.” the shrubs moved again. jay falls out of it. he groans.

“i am never playing spy again.”

“don’t worry, we aren’t ever going to do it again. jake has the tea. let’s go back.” sunghoon smacks jay’s shoulder. jay winces.

as they walked out from the gated community, jake’s arms went around both jay’s and sunghoon’s shoulder. it seems like their friendship never had a problem.

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VOTE HERE for my next smau!

[carlottawllms]

Author's note: Welcome back! It's crazy, but it's been one week already since I posted chapter I. Let me just say that there's plenty more to come. Enjoy

As always, feedback is very much appreciated. And now, enjoy! 🩷

After two weeks, everything was still a little messy and chaotic, but that was to be expected. Ellie was fine though, she started to settle properly and although she still preferred to be close to either Mason or you, her initial clinginess had died down a little as well. She was back to being that happy girl you knew.

The first week of taking care of Mason’s little daughter by yourself was nearly over and whilst you’d been a bit worried about how Ellie might take it all, everything had been going great.

Ellie had been more than well-behaved, a little sunshine really. Obviously, she was a little sad every time her daddy had to leave in the morning, but as the days had passed and Mason had come back every afternoon, the little one was more relaxed now and she seemed to enjoy the time she got to spend with you.

And today would be the little one’s first time in the stadium. You actually hadn’t known it would be her first game until Mason had told you this morning, that Mae had never really bothered to come and see him play, claiming that she just didn’t enjoy watching them play, so she’d barely been to Old Trafford and then when Ellie came along, it would’ve been – in Mae’s words – too much of a faff.

When you’d told Mason you’d come to cheer him on with Ellie, his eyes had lit up and the bright smile on his face had told you everything about what it meant to him.

“C’mon Ellie, we’ve got to leave now or we’ll be late.”, you called, the kids home shirt with daddy and number 7 printed in bold letters on the back, in your hands and it wasn’t long before the little girl came bouncing down the hallway, an excited smile on her face.

“Daddyyyy!”

“Yeah, we’re going to see daddy.”, you smiled as she all but crashed into your arms. “Want to put your shirt on?”

“Yessss!”

About 40 minutes later, you were embraced in a bearhug by none other than Jaz. “Oh, I missed you, y/n.”

With you by his side him as mental support, Mason had called his parents on the day all hell had broken lose and given them a brief rundown of what had happened. Debbie had immediately offered to come to Manchester, but after he’d been able to reassure her that he wanted to try it with your help first, she’d agreed.

Jaz however had insisted on coming up this weekend. Mason had just rolled his eyes at her, but you knew that she only meant well and just wanted to make sure that her little brother and his daughter were okay and taken care of.

“I missed you too.”, you hummed, before crouching down to the little girl by her side. “And you, too, Sums. You’re all grown up already, wow.”

Summer grinned brightly after kissing your cheek. Mason's niece definitely came second in the ranking of the cutest children, just behind Ellie.

“You girls wanna walk together?”, you asked setting Ellie down. She looked a little hesitant with all the people around, but when you tightly grabbed her small hand in yours and smiled down at her, she nodded.

Jaz had grabbed one of Summer’s hands herself, whilst the two girls in their Mount shirts walked in between the two of you, swinging their intertwined hands as they were talking amongst themselves, and it wasn’t long until you were inside the family lounge.

Ellie had warmed up to the situation and was more than comfortable running around with Summer and playing with the other kids, but you still kept a close eye on her.

“I’d never expected anything like this to happen.”, Jaz sighed suddenly. “I’d always put her down as a responsible person, you know? It’s just…you are friends with her right? Did she erm…say anything?”

“No, I…Mae and I haven’t been friends anymore since their break-up, to be honest. I don’t know what he told you about why he ended things, but it was basically the same reason I ended my friendship with her.”

Mason had never told you whether or not his family knew that Mae had cheated on him three weeks before he’d broken up with her. He hadn’t been supposed to be home that early but a power cut at Carrington had forced them to end the session a little earlier and he’d actually been happy about it, thinking he could go home and warm himself up with a little family cuddle after kicking a ball around in the cold for too long, but when he’d arrived Mae was busy warming herself up with a guy Mason had never seen before.

They’d been going at it in the living room, moaning and screaming as if they’d been alone although their little girl Ellie had been upstairs, crying for her mum.

It had broken Mason’s heart and he’d been furious, but for Ellie’s sake, he’d been willing to try and forgive Mae. You knew he’d tried; he’d really tried and he’d wanted to make it work, but then one evening, he’d knocked at your door, eyes filled with tears and he’d confessed that every time he looked at Mae, he saw the way she’d been moaning for that other guy.

“Oh, I…I didn’t know that. I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s alright. It was one of those situations where you just have to choose and well…there was only ever one answer to the question Mason or Mae.”, you smiled, watching Jaz’ expression soften and a smile taking over her features. “He’s my best friend, Jaz and I would’ve never encouraged him to go on a date with her if I hadn’t thought it would work out. When they told me they were expecting little Ellie, I was over the moon for them. They’d talked about getting married and…god I was so sad for him.”

Jaz nodded. “It sounds silly, but for Mase it’s not easy to find someone who’s serious about him. And now with a kid it’s even more difficult.”, she mumbled, running her hand through her hair.

She really looked worried, and you’d love to reassure her, but there wasn’t much you could say. Mason hadn’t been looking for anybody before and now with Ellie living with him, he certainly wouldn’t be any time soon either.

You knew him. He was all focused on his career whilst enjoying his single life every now and then, whilst a serious relationship hadn’t crossed his mind for a while. And you couldn’t blame him for that. After having been cheated on a year ago, you hadn’t expected him to dive head first into something new and whilst you had never been necessarily thrilled about the girls he’d taken home, you’d understood and never interfered. Unless he’d called you and begged you to scare one off when she hadn’t gotten the message.

“I know, it’s never really easy, but the right one for him will come. And it won’t matter to her that he has a kid cause if she’s the right one she will love Ellie as if she was her own, you know?”

Jaz chuckled and nodded, thinking about how you’d basically just perfectly described yourself, but she kept her mouth shut. She’d always thought that you and her brother would be perfect for each other, but as it wasn’t any of her business she’d never said anything.

“On another note, y/n, thank you so much for stepping up and being there for him and Ellie. In times like this it’s even worse for us that he’s so far away and we can’t just come by and help, but knowing you’re here makes it a lot easier. We all appreciate it so much; you have no idea.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Like I said he’s my best friend and I love Ellie, of course I offer my help, Jaz.”, you smiled, when small hands patting your leg interrupted your conversation. “Hello there, my little munchkin.”, you cooed, lifting little Ellie into your lap. She immediately snuggled into your chest and grabbed your hand to play with your fingers.

The two of you kept talking for a little longer, but it wasn’t long until you were eventually outside and looking all over the pitch.

The game itself went pretty well. United won comfortably and the goal Mason had scored had made the four of you cheer loudly in the box. Ellie had been jumping up and down on your legs, repeating the words daddy and goal over and over again until you’d eventually got her settled in your lap again.

“Daddy will be here any second now.”, you reassured Ellie who was getting a little antsy in your hold. You could tell that she started to miss him properly as she hadn’t seen him since yesterday evening. “And then he’s all yours. You’ll get aaaaall the cuddles in the world, and kisses and hugs and maybe if you ask nicely, he’ll get you some ice cream too.”

You tickled her side with your free hand, trying to cheer her up a little as you didn’t want Mason to worry about her and thankfully, he showed up rather quickly. He’d trapped his washbag under his arm, but once he’d reached you, it was quickly abandoned on the table next to you before he took Ellie from you.

“Daddy!”

“Hi baby.” A bright smile took over his face, dimples carving into his cheeks as he nuzzled his nose against his daughter’s. The little girl giggled and tried to hide in her dad’s neck, but he simply followed her, targeting her little button nose for a little longer before smooching her cheek and letting her lean her head against his shoulder. 

“Hello to you too.” Your heart warmed when Mason directed his pretty smile at yours. With his free arm wrapping around your waist, he pulled you into him for a hug.

“Hi Mase. Congrats on your goal, I’m proud of you.”, you smiled, squeezing him a little before you left a kiss on his stubbly cheek. Mason, who wasn’t good at accepting compliments, blushed at your words. “C’mon go say hi to the other two. Summer is dying to see her favourite uncle, and we all want to leave rather soon. I promised them I’d cook for us before heading home so you can unpack and spend some time with Jaz and the tiny devils.”

When you pulled away from him, to push him towards Jaz and Summer, who had her eyes already set on your best friend, Mason gently grabbed you by your elbow, his brown eyes locking on yours. “You sure you don’t mind? You’ve spent all week at mine and haven’t had time for yourself, y/n.”

“Stop worrying, Mase.”, you smiled softly. “I’m a big girl, I know what I’m doing. I have tomorrow all to myself in case you remember.”, you laughed, squeezing his hand reassuringly and although Mason didn’t look convinced, he let you push him towards his sister and niece.

-

An hour later, you were all back at Mason’s. Jaz had occupied the living room, playing with Summer and Ellie, whilst your best friend was upstairs, sorting his stuff in his bedroom. After coming back, you’d quickly changed into sweatpants and a matching hoodie and were now working away in the kitchen.

On the way home you’d decided on making spag bol. Not only, because it was a quick and easy meal but also because the kids loved it as much as Mason did. You were about to finish the sauce, when the latter trailed into the kitchen.

“Have you seen Ellie’s pink bottle by chance?”, he asked and as he brushed past you, his hand softly caressed the small of your back. “She’s refusing to use any other.”

“Yeah, it’s up there, I think.”, you nodded towards one of the upper cabinets. “I cleaned it this morning. I think she- Mase!”

A shocked gasp left your mouth as in the moment Mason reached up to grab the bottle, his shirt lifted and revealed a rather large bruise forming on his lower back. Without thinking, you stepped closer to him and pulled the fabric up even further.

“What happened? Are you okay?” You voice was laced with worry as you carefully inspected his bruised skin with the very tips of your fingers, trying not to hurt him.

“It’s from training.”, he shrugged, trying to play it off although it did hurt like a little bitch. “Fell awkwardly on Rasmus’ leg. It’s nothing though, they checked it.”

“It doesn’t look like nothing.”, you sighed, knowing it probably wasn’t too bad, but you hated when Mason was hurt and you couldn’t do much to help him. “I think I have this gel in my bag, you know, the one they gave me when I injured my shoulder. Let me get that real quick.”

With a pat to his shoulder, you dashed out of the kitchen.

Shaking his head with a fond smile on his lips, Mason chuckled quietly. There was no need for you to go all doctor on him as the medical department at Carrington had stocked him up on gels and whatever would help with the healing process, but he would never tell you that. He liked your caring side way too much for that and whilst he’d never admit it, he also wanted to feel your soft hands on his skin again.

With rosy cheeks, he was startled out of his thoughts when you came back into the kitchen. “Got it. Bend over for me, will you?”

“In my head it’s always been me saying that to you, but I don’t mind reversed roles every once in a while.”, he laughed. Partly to tease you, but mainly to get his head back straight.

“Mason.”, you laughed as you pinched his side in feigned outrage. You knew he was just joking, but your face still turned a deep shade of red.

“Can you blame me? You provided me with the opportunity, don’t blame me for- Ouch! Stop pinching me.”

“Behave then.”, you laughed. “And now stop moving otherwise it really will hurt.”

With one hand, you pushed his shirt up his back and as your gaze once again fell on the colourful bruise, a deep sigh escaped your lips. It didn’t look good at all. Carefully, to avoid causing him more pain, you applied a thin layer of the gel all over his affected skin, apologising ever so often when his tiny hisses and groans could be heard in the kitchen.

Mason’s eyes had fallen shut the moment your warm hands had touched his back and the longer you kept going the more difficult it became to hide the shivers rolling up his spine. Your gentle touch was relaxing, and it was way too early when you squeezed his sides and told him you were done.

 “You really need to take care of yourself, Mase.”, you told him, gaze lingering on the way the muscles danced under his skin as he straightened up again.

“I promise you, I will.” Mason pressed his lips softly to your forehead in an attempt to reassure you once he’d turned around. “Thank you, y/n.”

You would’ve loved to keep him around, but Ellie calling for him had him pulling away from you. He grabbed the bottle, filled it with water and padded back into the living room, leaving you and your thoughts alone in the kitchen.

It hadn't even been a whole week, but Ellie and you had become very attuned to one another. She trusted you and liked being around you, she was happy and always up to whatever you proposed, whilst you’d figured out quickly which things she liked and preferred to do.

Juggling the job and the little one had turned out to be surprisingly easy too. Mason had set up an office for you on the same floor as Ellie’s bedroom so you could keep an eye on her without having to be with her all the time and she had the chance to come see you whenever she wanted or needed to.

You loved it. Not just the time with Ellie though, but also the time you got to spend with Mason. Of course, the two of you had spent time together before too, but with him being incredibly busy and having to share the time between rather lots of people, it had been nowhere near as much as right now.

In fact, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d cooked and had dinner together and now that you got to see him this often, you realised you hadn’t cherished the time before enough.

Deep in thoughts, you didn’t notice Mason coming back into the kitchen, so you nearly jumped out of your skin the moment he brushed up right behind you, hands settling on your hips.

The way he was so touchy with you made you a little shy and you had to remind yourself that it was just Mason and there was no reason to get all blushy.

“I forgot to ask what you’re making.”, he mumbled, his chin propped up on your shoulder to catch a glimpse of what was in the pots right in front of you. “Is it spag bol?”

You could literally hear his childlike excitement when he’d made sense of all the ingredients and when you nodded, he wiggled his head happily before pecking your cheek quickly. “Looks and smells amazing, love.”

And because he was as cheeky as they come, he didn’t miss the opportunity to try and dip his finger into the sauce, but you knew him well enough to anticipate his next move, so before he could actually burn himself, you pushed his hand away.

“It’s hot Mase.”, you giggled at the pout you could spot from the corner of your eye. “Don’t you have anything to do? Places to be? Anything?”

Mason just laughed at your attempt to shoo him away and nodded. “I’ll see what my other favourite girls are doing then.”, he told you. Squeezing your waist, he dropped a kiss to the top of your head before leaving you on your own; your flushed cheeks from the way he’d referred to you as his favourite girl going entirely unnoticed by him.

You quickly finished the spaghetti before calling everyone to come sit down. Unsurprisingly, Ellie and Summer were the first to beg for Jaz and Mason to put them into their seats and the moment you filled their plates with pasta and Bolognese, their eyes nearly popped out of their heads.

“Pagetti!”, Summer screeched, nearly jumping out of her seat the moment Jaz reached for her plate to cut the pasta in smaller bits.

You looked up from filling the remaining plates when Mason’s sweet voice had you looking up. “Is that yummy, Ellie?”, he asked, watching the way his daughter dipped her finger into the sauce on her plate, whilst Mason cut the spaghetti and when the little one hummed and nodded in agreement, he looked up to you with a soft smile.

You blushed, but smiled back at him before focusing on putting pasta onto your plate as well and sitting down opposite of him and Ellie.

*

The next day was your so-called day off. After the game the day before, Mason – and the rest of his team obviously – had been given the day off. You’d protested a little when he had told you that you should take the day for yourself to recover from the week, but in the end he’d got his way.

After finishing some chores, all you’d been doing was lounging on the sofa and making your way through several Netflix films and series. You’d even ordered yourself some food as the laziness had been too strong and now that you were wrapped up in a fluffy blanket, eyes growing a little heavy, you realised that you’d actually needed this day off.

Not that you hadn’t enjoyed spending time with Ellie and in the evenings with Mason too, but until you’d laid down a couple of hours ago, you hadn’t noticed just how exhausted you actually were.

Whilst you were enjoying the quiet time all by yourself, Mason and Jaz had taken the kids for a little walk. The two girls were walking in front, giggling away and trying to find some pretty flowers to pick, whilst Mason was indulged in his thoughts.

And every single one of these thoughts revolved around you.

In the last two weeks, you had always been by his side. When he’d gone to training? You’d been there. When he’d come home from training? You’d been there. After his game? You’d been there. You’d become a reassuring constant and while he actually really liked it, he couldn’t help but feel like he was becoming too dependent on you.

“Penny for your thoughts?”, Jaz asked, already suspecting something was up and when her brother released a deep sigh, it was proof enough for her.

“This is gonna make me sound insane.”, he huffed, kicking a pebble to the side of the path, but deep down he knew that his sister would never judge him. Maybe give him a bit of a talking to, but not more. “y/n is really amazing, you know? With Ellie obviously, but also in the way she supports me. Like when I get back home, she’s done all these things like cooking and tidying up already, so I get to spend time with my trouble on two legs.”

Mason kicked another pebble when he gave himself a moment to figure out how to voice his worries.

“It’s been just two weeks and I already feel like I can’t do anything without her. Not because she wouldn’t let me, but because it’s normal that she’s there and part of our lives and it’s just…what if I get too dependent on her? Until Ellie can go to nursery it’ll take a while and…I don’t know it’s just worrying me. Like even today it feels weird that y/n isn’t here, you know?”  

Jaz just smiled, her heart filled with warmth because she knew that despite the worries plaguing him right now, he had you, the most wonderful best friend anyone could ever ask for, by his side. She knew, no matter what, he’d always find you having his back and fighting his corner.

“That’s okay, Mase.”, she began, touching his arm in reassurance. “y/n has been there since all normality disappeared from your everyday life. Of course, it feels like you could never do it on your own because, let's face it, it would be incredibly stressful, but deep down you know that if you had to, you could manage without her. Just with a lot more sacrifices.”

“I know, it’s just that…it’s difficult to explain but…what if I depend too much on her? Like she has her own life and stuff going on and all she does right now is taking care of Ellie and me and…what if…what if she…erm…”

“What if she leaves, you mean?”, Jaz asked softly.

“Yes.” His voice was quiet and a little shaky, hesitant in confessing his deepest fear and her heart broke for her little brother. The whole situation had obviously taken a toll on him and on top of that he was worrying his best friend could leave him.

“I understand that, Mase.”, she sighed. “But if you ask me, you don't have to worry about that. She's your best friend and yes, maybe she didn't realise the extent of it when she offered to help, but I can't imagine her just running away. I've seen how she deals with Ellie, how she cares and how much she loves her.”, Jaz squeezed her little brother’s arm a little. “But of course, I can't promise you anything. Don’t you have another day off tomorrow? You should talk to her, you know? Be honest with her, tell her about your worries and then you can go from there together, okay?”

Mason gave it a little thought, unsure if he could actually be that honest with you and tell you how terrified he truly was, but he knew he had to. For Ellie’s sake.

“You’re probably right. Thanks Jaz.”

“That’s okay.”, she smiled. “And if you don’t want it to continue like this you know that you have us, and we’ll step up. Mum and Dad already said they’d move to Manchester until Ellie can go to nursery, so you don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Thank you. Honestly, thank you, Jaz.”

Mason pulled his sister into a tight hug and the realisation that no matter what would happen, he had all of his family by his side was reassuring enough to find the bravery to send you a quick text.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened your chat, chuckling quietly as his gaze fell on the name he’d saved you under. You were a happy person; a smile was almost all the time grazing your lips and lighting up your beautiful face, but above all, you giggling was his favourite sound in the world.

[straylightdream]

I don't give a fuck about your friends - 𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: lee minho x f.reader

friends to lovers

↳ Oh baby, take a look around I'm the only one that hasn't walked out, Im right here.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, smut warning below the cut.

𝐚𝐧: part of a series called ohmami of short one shots inspired by Chase Atlantic songs. This one was inspired by Right Here. If you would like to be tagged in all stories for this series or a specific boys please fill out this form.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected sex, soft dom minho, rougher passionate sex, creampie, size kink, dirty talk, minho calls the reader the name Pretty.

It’s been a rough night to say the least. A night out with your friends went wrong. A bunch of drunk girls in the club is never a good mix, followed by watching a so-called friend makeout with your ex who you thought at one point you were gonna marry him. The sight of them kissing was like a bucket of cold water being dumped on you. Tears well in your eyes as you rush off to the hallway near the bathrooms. You fight back crying as you call the only person you want to see at that moment.

Walking back to the table where a few friends were, you let them know you were heading out. The buzz you had has faded away as a feeling of sadness takes over. Walking outside the cold air catches you by surprise. Taking a deep breath you wrap your arms around your body trying to find some warmth. You stand outside alone for all of five minutes when you see the only person you want to see walking towards. He’s dressed in gray sweats with a hoodie underneath and coat over the top.

You practically jog towards him, wrapping your arms around him, throwing yourself into his chest. There is a moment of silence as you cling to him. His hand gently rubs your back making you feel warmer.

“Thank you for saving me.”

“That’s what friends are for,” he presses his lips to the top of your head.

Pulling away he takes off his coat and holds it out for you. You know he’ll probably be cold walking back to his car but there is no use in fighting him. Pulling his coat on you immediately notice his eyes are focused on you. He steps closer to you resting his hand on your cheek. Ever so slowly be wipes away the stray tear that had slid down your cheek.

“You’re too pretty to be sad,” his voice was calm and gentle.

Arriving at his car he helps you in the passenger side before shutting the door. The drive back to his apartment is quiet. You can feel him looking over at you every so often as you wipe away the stray tears that keep falling. He hasn’t really asked you what’s wrong but you know he will.

You arrive at his apartment he shares with Jisung and you notice right away there is no sign of his roommate. Without thinking the moment he shuts the door you lean forward to kiss him just like you always do. You’re caught off guard when he pulls away the moment your lips touch. The small feeling of rejection stings but you know it’s because he knows you’re upset.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” He seems frustrated. You can’t blame him though. Recently anytime something has gone wrong in your life you always call him. He never tells you he can’t come to your rescue. He always does and every time no matter if it’s day or night it always ends the same way with you naked and spread out underneath him. He normally doesn’t say anything when you throw yourself at him. Peeling away your clothes as you desperately cling to him trying to make yourself feel better.

“Mae was all over Hyunwoo at the club. I looked out on the dance floor and saw my friend making out with the guy that broke my heart.”

He doesn’t say anything, he just takes a deep breath and steps closer to you. Minho hated Hyunwoo and after you got your heart broken he hated your ex even more.

“She’s not your friend if she would do something that she knows would hurt you.” His hand rests on your side standing close to you.

“I’m probably just being sensitive,” you sigh, wiping away your tears. “I have that trip with them next weekend. I know she wouldn’t intentionally do something to hurt me.” You're an absolute fool and you know it. Mae and a bunch of the other girls are selfish and you know deep down inside you need to cut them off. Minho has told you over and over again he doesn’t like most of your friends in that group and you know why. He doesn’t say anything for a moment instead he moves away from your hand and gently rests his hand on your cheek. His thumb swipes away the tears that are staining your cheek.

“Come stay with me next weekend. I don’t think you should go on that trip.” From the moment Minho heard that you were supposed to have a girls weekend he was instantly against it. He thought most of the girls that you had started hanging out with since college were fake. After seeing one of them make out with the man that broke your heart led you to believe he might be right.

“They’ll be upset if I cancel on them,” you sigh.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“‘Min they’re my friends. It does matter.”

“I don’t give a fuck about your friends. I’m the one who is always right here. They don’t treat you right. If they were true friends they would have seen you were upset tonight and wouldn’t have let you leave crying.”

“Min,” his words catch you off guard.

“I’m being honest. I don’t give a fuck about your so called friends. I just want you to be happy and I think being with me instead of them would make you happy.”

Even though your head is telling you that you should go on this trip, you want to listen to your heart and stay with Minho.

“What happens if I stay here?”

“We’ll figure out whatever we are.” He pushes his figures through your hair tilting your head back. His face softens as your eyes lock.

“We’re not just friends?” You’re not dumb you know you’re more than friends. If you were just friends you wouldn’t throw yourself at him any chance you get. If he was just your friend you wouldn’t daydream about kissing him.

He pulls back from you shaking his head. “I don’t fuck my friends.” He starts walking away from you heading off to his room. You’re caught off guard by his bold statement but it lets you know he feels the same way you do. Without thinking anymore you follow him. Walking into his room you notice the light on in the bathroom connected to his room. You wait sitting on his bed for him to walk back in. Walking back into his bedroom he pulls off his shirt tossing it in the hamper by his closet. He strips down to his boxers. You silently sit there watching him. You should have known at some point or another things between you and Minho would come to a head. You couldn’t go on sleeping together without talking about how you really get.

“Are you going to skip that trip?” He finally breaks the silence.

“I want to know what it’s like to be more than friends with you.” This is your way of telling him you aren’t going on that trip.

“Stand up for me,” he says walking towards you. You listen to him standing at the foot of the bed. “Those girls aren’t good for you. They don’t care about your feelings and I don’t like that.”

“I know they don’t.” You get sad again thinking about how your night went.

“Strip down to your underwear please.” He doesn’t normally boss you around when you sleep together. He’s always had dominant energy about him, but when you have sex he always lets you do what you want. Every time you’ve slept together it’s been when you’re upset or want a form of stress release. You realize you’ve been selfish and never really asked Minho what he likes or what he wants.

Standing there in just your underwear you reach out resting your hand on his cheek, “what do you want from me?” You ask.

“Anything you’re willing to give me. I want every part of you.”

“Minho I mean what do you want if you don’t want to be just friends?”

His hand rests on your bare side pulling you close to him. You take a deep breath taking in his closeness. “Pretty, I want to be your everything. I want to make you happy and show you what it’s like to be loved.” Leaning in closer he rested his forehead against yours.

“I want you to be my everything.” You didn’t want to just be friends. You wanted so much more with him.

His lips crash against yours and he kisses you like he needs you to breathe. His hands grip your soft sides as your lips move together.

Pulling away you both removed the rest of your clothes. Laying on his bed completely bare he sits between your spread thighs as he rubs his hardened length through your folds.

“Min put it in,” you practically whine wanting him inside you.

A smirk tugs at his lips as slowly pushes his length into you earning a moan. He moves at a slow pace letting you adjust to his girth. The groan that passes his lips as he bottoms out is intoxicating. Your hands reach for his wanting to hold on to him. He thrust into you at a firm but steady place. The blissed out look on his face makes you weak.

“Pretty, you’re so tight. Is my cock too big for you?” He loves to make you feel small. You weren’t a tiny girl by any means but the way he talks about his size makes your head spin.

With one particularly hard thrust makes you practically scream his name. A soft laugh passes his lips as he thrust hard again causing your breast to bounce.

“Min-“ you moan.

“Do you like it when I’m rough?” You just silently nod your head, unable to fully respond. He grabs one of your legs, putting it over his shoulder before he continues his pace. His finger toys with your clit knowing just the right way to touch you to make you scream his name again.

He keeps his steady pace leaving you a panting mess. One of your hands grip the cotton sheets next to you while the other grasp your breast. Your thumb drags across your sensitive nipple adding to the overwhelming sensation taking over your body.

“Fuck you look good touching yourself while you’re taking my cock,” he groans. His dirty words come close to pushing you over the edge.

“I’m so clo- clo close.” He’s left you a stuttering mess.

“Does pretty want to come?”

“Fuck,” you whine nodding your head.

“Do it then,” he says, thrusting harder.

Pulling your leg off his shoulder he quickly changes his position so he is hovering right over you. He keeps his pace as he leaves a trail of open mouth kisses from your chest up to your lips. The moment your lips together you moan into his mouth as you fall apart. Your walls flutter around him as a white hot wave crashes over you. He thrust into you over and over again as you ride out your high.

His thrust gets sloppier as he chases his own release. He comes painting your walls white moaning your name. He stays plastered on top of you riding out his release. Ever so slowly he pulls himself away from you. He sits back on his hunches watching for a moment as his release drips out of you. Reaching over to his nightstand where he keeps a box of tissues he always wipes his release before laying on the bed next to you. You’re absolutely exhausted and feel like you’re on the verge of falling asleep.

“Pretty?” He says pulling your sleepy body close to his.

“Yeah?”

“I meant what I said. I’ve always been right here, and I don’t want to be just friends.”

You smile nuzzling close to him, “Minho we’re definitely more than friends, and I’m glad you’ve always been right here.”

His lips gently press to the top of your head before you fall asleep in his arms.

Regarding taglist:

If you aren’t interacting with my writing outside of liking the new post I’m gonna have to remove your name from the taglist. You will also be removed if I try to tag you and your blog is listed as "invisible". If you've changed your URL and didn't let me know I will also be removing your name. I’m sorry for the inconvenience but my interactions outside or likes feels like it’s nonexistent right now. All of my taglist are still open though. If you request to be added to one via this form, I kindly ask for interactions in the form and feedback and reblogs. To be quite honest, those really encourage my writing.

[slasherx]

I'm doing fine thank you for asking, 😌

Also thank you for doing the request of Thomas Hewitt

I also had another idea you can do if you want!

Can you do a Thomas hewitt with a female s/o who can sing like really well (like lana del Rey) and he meets her at like idk when the town wasn't abandoned they used to have like little evens and the s/o sang up and like thats when thomas fell in love

I know cheesy but like aren't we all

Thats good! And yeah, no problem. Tommy's my favorite so it's always a pleasure doing requests for him :3

Content: Thomas Hewitt x fem!Reader

Warnings: None

Notes: The gif below is one of my favorite gifs of him hehe. I also love Lana Del Rey so I'm basing this off the song "Summertime Sadness" by her. Also I do headcanon Charlie/Hoyt and Tommy to be brothers, with Luda Mae as their mom, and Monty as the only uncle and brother to Luda. I know some people have them as uncle and nephew, but I don't think thats the case. Tommy and Reader are both about 18 in this.

• ───────────────── •

Tommy both loved and hated the county fair.

He hated it because people would tell him he should be with the pigs, or with the cows, displayed for people to judge. He hated the heat that accumulated with everyone smushed together in a crowd. He hated that he had no friends to run off with and have fun with, only Charlie could do that with him, but his older brother was worried about girls. He hated that he had to stay by his mama helping sell jelly and the like, he desperately wanted to go on the rides and see the attractions.

But he also loved it because of said rides and attractions. There was a new one this year, where music was being played. He could hear it from his mama's stand. He kept looking in the direction of it, and Luda Mae could practically feel his wanting.

"Tommy, what'cha keep lookin' over there for?" Luda Mae asked.

Tommy touched his ears and pointed in the direction of the music. Luda Mae understood - he wanted to go see the music. "Well, alright. Maybe it'll lighten up your mood some."

Tommy perked up at that. He hugged her and turned to move towards the music. Luda Mae then piped up again. "But you better tell Charlie to come back if you see 'im!"

Tommy nodded before going towards the music. There was a huge crowd both sitting and standing, consisting of old and young people. The stage was made of some dark wood, with red curtains pulled back to show off the full thing. And there you stood, singing your little heart out.

Tommy could feel his knees wobble. You were singing some soft melody, and your bandmates were scattered around you. But he was attracted to you. Your voice sounded like it was touched by God himself. It was beautiful. You were beautiful.

You wore a pastel blue and white dress that cascaded down to your knees, your (color) hair cascading down (to your shoulders/past your shoulders). Tommy was enamoured. You dressed just as you sang.

As you sang, you noticed this hulking man in the back and tried to subtly get a better look. This man had broad shoulders, wavy brown hair that fell past those broad shoulders, and what seemed to be a mask covering his face. He wore a nice green dress shirt with khaki pants. You smiled, he was cute.

Tommy could've sworn he almost fainted. He turned around to see if you had smiled at someone else maybe, but he was the only one in this general direction. He kept some distance from the back of the crowd so he didn't have to hear any insults.

As you finished your song and began preparing to move to the next one, you locked eyes with him once more, singing loud and proud. Your bandmates played your instrumental, smiling to themselves as they just enjoyed playing their repsective instruments.

Tommy stayed for your whole performance, completely in a trance. He hadn't noticed the sun going down and the heat lessenig. He hadn't notice people and families shove past him to leave. All his focus was on, was you. He felt his heart pound at every syllable you sung, every note you hit.

It was poetic, he thinks. But that was soon interrupted by someone grabbing his shoulder. He whipped around angrily, only to be met with his older brother, Charlie.

"C'mon, Tommy! Been lookin' everywhere for ya! We need to go, mama's tired and sold all o' her jelly 'n shit." Charlie spoke loudly over your voice.

He didn't want to leave you. Even though you weren't singing exclusively for him, and had barely knew him much less even met him, he didn't want to leave. You showed him kidness by smiling at him. That is something he'll never forget. He just nodded to Charlie.

Charlie, figuring that was enough, turned and began heading back to Luda Mae's stand. Tommy watched him go, before turning back to you singing on stage. He raised his hand high and waved, before leaving the crowd.

You were on stage and mid-song, so you couldn't wave back. But oh how you wanted to.

• ───────────────── •

Here's my masterlist, in case you like what you see and want to request more!

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

The fandom can't make up its mind on what's supposed to be a joke and what's supposed to be serious because the show can't either half the time. It's a tonally disjointed mess that wants to have absurd over-the-top humor as well as a plot and moments of drama, romance, and angst that demand you see the characters as people and feel for what they're going through. Except you can't do that without also treating the dumb bullshit in a somewhat grounded way. Like, you're still dealing with the same characters. You can't just go "Oh, that? Let's ignore that!" the moment it's no longer convenient to you. You've opened this can of worms and now you have to sleep in it. So, every character flip-flops between two different versions of themselves depending on what the writers need in any particular scene.

This is not to say surreal humor can't be used right alongside characters you're supposed to empathize with, Teen Titans (not Go) did that and it worked. It's just that the absurdity can only come from the setting (Mad Mod, Mother Mae-Eye, pretty much anything Control Freak is in) or from designated joke characters (Date With Destiny). Teen Titans never had the main characters acting in clearly absurd ways as the butt of a joke unless those characters were brainwashed somehow, because the writers knew that would ruin any of the more grounded moments they wanted to write. The writers of Miraculous missed the memo on that one.

I don't disagree. A perfect example is Derision where the show takes all of the bad jokes about Marinette's crush and decides to take them seriously as if you can possible take them seriously without making Marinette come across as unhinged and dangerous. You can't, which brings us to the topic at hand: how do you even begin to understand these characters when the show is constantly making character-breaking choices?

My approach - and the approach I recommend others take if they're going to keep watching the show - is to focus on the characters' cores and reject anything canon does to violate those cores. I don't argue for this stance because I love the characters so much that I only want the good things to count. I take this stance because, if you don't, then the characters fall apart. There is no way to make them work as fully realized characters while embracing every choice canon has made. Miraculous has massive characterization issues that go well beyond the humor.

For example, Adrien has multiple moments of terrible behavior that are played in a serious manner such as the moment in the episode Frozer where he tries to start a fight with Ladybug in the middle of an akuma attack because she wouldn't accept a rose from him earlier:

Setup

Ladybug: I can't accept this rose from you. I told you already. I'm in love with someone else. Cat Noir: I know, M'lady. But if he weren't here, would things be different between us? Ladybug: Well, you know, I can't even begin to imagine him not being here. I'm sorry, Cat Noir. I really gotta get going, and you better do the same. (Swings her yo-yo to head back home; Cat Noir is sad, looking downwards, with one petal of the rose falling.)

Payoff

Ladyice: Cat Noir. We need to set up a trap for whoever turned the city into a giant ice rink. (throws yo-yo) Icecat: (bitterly) My feline instincts prefer to track and observe before I attack. You go your way, I'll go mine. Ladyice: Please don't tell me you're mad at me about the rose. Icecat: There may be a certain chill now between us. Ladyice: I get it, but we should really focus on saving Paris right now. Icecat: We don't always have to do everything together, after all. It's not like we're a couple. (skates away)

There's no way to argue this off as a bad joke. While Adrien has every right to feel hurt, those feelings don't excuse him acting like a pouting child in the middle of an akuma fight. It doesn't excuse him acting like this at any point! Ladybug is not a villain for telling him no. She wasn't even mean about it!

I clearly fully agree that Adrien looks awful and selfish here, but I'd still argue that it's not something that should be used to define Adrien's character if your goal is to tell the "ideal" version of Miraculous. "Ideal" being the version that canon seems to be going for based on the overall picture we can sort of make out if we back way, way, way up and look at the extremely abstract picture canon is clumsily painting.

Unless canon is going to do something monumentally stupid, Adrien is Marinette's endgame romantic interest. It's also clear that there is no plan to cut him from the team. He's going to be Chat Noir for the rest of his life or at least well into his adulthood. This means that he is supposed to be a good hero who deserves his miraculous just like he's supposed to be a charming and cute romantic lead. These are the two things I keep in mind when trying to shift through canon to figure out what writing choices I should fully embrace and what writing choices I have to either ignore or treat as true flaws that get an actual character arc. In my book, either approach is fine because most of the characters are deeply flawed at this point and you can't give them all arcs without bloating the story to nonsense levels.

My goal with this approach is never to say, "oh, that moment shouldn't count in terms of how people feel about the character." It's more, "that moment goes so hard against who this character is very clearly supposed to be that I can't take it into account if I want to tell the kind of story that Miraculous is trying (and clearly failing) to tell."

As an example, let's list off Adrien's worst behaviors. The things that make him look terrible:

He sucks at communicating his needs and feelings, leading to multiple moments where he gets mad at Ladybug for things she's totally unaware of

He has quit or considered quitting without warning multiple times and only one of those was because of something he did "wrong" (NYC Special)

He puts his feelings before the safety of Paris on multiple occasions, even going so far to purposely miss akuma fights to see what happens

He is incredibly pushy about his crush, often ignoring Ladybug's feelings on the topic by continuing to bring it up even after she asked him to stop

There have been multiple instances where he almost cataclysmed multiple people in a fit of anger

His love for Ladynette isn't strong enough to let him break free of things like akumas and nightmare dust even when he's looking her in the eyes making him a pretty crappy romantic lead

People will argue that some of this behavior makes sense for his character because of the abuse that canon has technically introduced, but that the writers seem blissfully unaware of. I don't disagree with that argument, but that doesn't change the fact that none of this is acceptable behavior for a hero and Adrien is a hero who keeps doing these things. A sad backstory doesn't give you the right to behave poorly without consequences.

At the same time, if I fully embrace these elements of canon, what I get is an Adrien salt fic where he loses his miraculous for good while Marinette finds her real true love or even just a non-salty fic where Adrien leaves for his own meatal health and gets replaced by someone who can handle being a hero right now. Canon's not writing either of those, so the only way to engage with these flaws while enjoying canon or aiming for the same end goals as canon is to say, "I guess this doesn't count" or "I guess I need to tone this way down and work through it via a character arc" or even "I guess that was just a bad joke maybe?"

That is the essence of what I mean when I call myself a writing salt, character sugar blog. It comes from looking at canon and seeing that there's simply no way to embrace the worst moments and the best at the same time. We're not dealing with a coherent plot and/or complex characters. We're dealing with a nonsense plot that will warp the characters to bizarre shapes to make random ideas work even if those idea go wildly against canon's end goals.

As an example, Glaciator and Frozer should not exist in the same universe or, at the very least, something should explain why Chat Noir randomly changed his stance on Ladybug's crush from acceptance to pushiness. As is, the pieces don't fit together. The behavior is too contradictory. Remember, this is how Glaciator ends:

Perhaps Ladybug will love me someday. I mean, like, I love her. I have to believe. In the meantime, her friendship is the best gift of all.

Where did this version of Adrien go? Why did he regress in Frozer? There's no in-universe reason. It happened because the writers weren't ready to let the love square date or grow close, but they also wanted the love square to cause drama, so Adrien ends up looking terrible just like Marinette ends up looking terrible when it's her turn to cause love square drama. Her terribleness takes a different flavor so it can be hard to realize that this is a systemic issue, but that's what it is. It's deeply frustrating, but it also clearly stems from cheap writing and not quality characterization.

This is also why my stance is that canon as a whole only supports my Doyalistic core-character analysis style of approach. The writing is too poor quality to do Watsonian analysis where you embrace the full picture and try to put it all together. The closest I'll get to Watsonian analysis is pointing out how much the writing botches a Watsonian take by showing you all the way the writing contradicts itself, twisting into a nonsense pretzel of frustration where the payoffs never satisfy! (See the season four rant for an example or anything where I talked about Chloe's supposed damnation arc.)

There are even characters where canon is such a total mess that you can Doyalistically argue for two separate takes! Gabriel is a perfect example. He is all over the place and his ending was so poorly handled that you can make strong arguments for writing him as a cold-hearted villain or a sympathetic villain without the end result feeling like it spits in the face of canon because both takes maintain his one core element: villain.

That's the big thing I keep in mind when I look at the characters and the lore and the plots and try to come up with versions that the average fan would like. I don't think that there's one true version of any of these things, but I do feel comfortable saying that there are versions that will very clearly only appeal to people who are salty about a specific thing that canon did poorly. That's not who I want to appeal to in my adaptions, so while I'm not going to argue that those takes have no backing in canon, I will argue that those takes are not supported by canon as a whole. Embracing them requires you to take the worst parts of canon at face value while ignoring what canon is clearly trying to do with the overall story.

I get the appeal of that, but it's not fun for me because that approach feels like rolling around in the mud with the pigs. I don't want to sink to canon's level! I want to have fun! That's why I talk about how to make canon into its best self, not its worst self. If you want its worst self, just go watch the actual show. I will be shocked it if disappoints you.

[redrose10]

Here is #4 from the picture game! I hope you all like it.

Warnings: Bullying, body image issues, slightly suggestive if you really look, swearing

Nervously you walked around your room slowly packing things to try and slow down the inevitable.

“Babe why did you sign up for this if you didn’t want to go?”, your boyfriend Yoongi asked from the bed where he was sat taking the clothes out of your bag and folding them neatly before placing them back in the bag. He had always hated the way you packed for trips.

“I dont know. It sounded like a great idea at the time. A week away at a beauty convention in a high end resort getting pampered and relaxing. I was hoping maybe I’d meet some friends or something.”, you sighed.

He came over and wrapped his arms around you, “Well I’m not going to force you to go but it does sound nice. Maybe go and check it out and if you don’t like it then you can leave and come home.”

You nodded and returned his kiss while secretly hating how level headed he always was.

The resort was beautiful. No city noise, no pollution. You could actually hear the birds chirping and see the fluffy white clouds. The lobby smelled like coconuts and hibiscus and made you think of relaxing on the beach.

“Sparking water with lime?”, a woman asked greeting you as you entered. You nodded and accepted the drink before heading to the front desk.

Check in was easy and within no time you were relaxing on a huge king sized bed as you read over all the options for different classes and events. There were makeup classes, hair tutorials, like eight different types of massages, mud baths, tea baths, skin care options, nail salons, the list went on and on. The food menu also looked incredible and you couldn’t wait to indulge.

The first day was great. You eased into the event opting for just a mani/pedi and a make up class on how to choose the best foundation for your skin. You snacked a little in the dining hall but mostly ordered room service and relaxed in your room.

When Yoongi called to ask how things were he reminded you that you were supposed to be trying to make friends.

So the next day you got a little more adventurous and tried the tea bath. You made sure to get there super early when no one else was there which defeated the purpose but you really didn’t want anyone to see you in a bathing suit.

Then you went to one of their skin care routine classes where experts would come around and help you with different moisturizers and cleansers. You learned a lot and you also met a woman there, Mae. She was about your age and lived a few blocks over from where you did. She was really nice and you had a bunch in common and she was also hoping to make friends. That evening Yoongi said he was proud of you for going out of your comfort zone and making friends.

The next day you and Mae had decided to get some breakfast from the buffet bar before trying out the makeup class again to learn about choosing the right eye liners and how to apply them to best suit your eye shape.

You and Mae were sat at a back table enjoying your breakfast. She was telling you about her boyfriend Namjoon and you told her about Yoongi. You happily agreed when she suggested having the two of them meet because they would become instant best friends meaning lots of double dates for you all.

“Well hopefully there’s even any food left.”, you heard someone say followed by giggles. To your left stood three women. One clearly the leader and the other two her little followers. They were all staring at you and Mae and smiling.

“Well I bet all the fruit is still left but I’m sure every pastry is gone.”, another one of them said before they all erupted in laughter.

“Just ignore them. They hate themselves so they want everyone else to feel bad too.”, Mae said noticing your change in demeanor. You gave her a sad smile but the damage was already done.

That night Yoongi knew something was wrong when he called to talk to you but he didn’t pressure you to tell him. He just reminded you that he was there for you which you appreciated.

The next day the words of the three woman still stuck with you. You thought about them as you ate your breakfast. You thought about them while Mae got a massage and you sat on and watched too embarrassed to remove your clothing.

In the evening you and Mae were sitting at one of the outside tables enjoying an after dinner coffee when your three friends from the other day came walking up.

“Can we help you?”, Mae spat. You were so glad to have her around.

“Oh be nice. We just got back from the dessert hall. We couldn’t finish what we ordered and we know you two won’t let it go to waste.”, the ring leader laughed.

Her and one of the other woman sat down nine pieces of cake and three eclairs plus a box of macarons in front of you two.

“This is enough for a snack for you two right? I mean it should last you until second dinner.”, she shrieked followed by her companions cackling like a couple of hyenas.

You could feel your eyes start to burns. Like he could sense your distress your phone started ringing and a smiling photo of Yoongi popped up on the screen. His contact name showing as ‘Future Husband 💕’. You let the phone go to voicemail not wanting him to hear you cry.

“Future husband? No way is that guy with you. He is waaayy to hot for someone like you. He has to be using you for something.”, the woman laughed.

It felt like you had been stabbed right in the chest. You’d always thought Yoongi was too good for you, that he was way out of your league and could do better. It took him a long time to break down your walls and squash your insecurities and this bully was undoing all of that in a matter of a couple days.

Mae spoke up from next to you, “Actually yeah he is her boyfriend. I’ve met him and he loves her a lot actually which is something none of you have experienced.”

Gently you bumped her knee underneath the table as a sign of appreciation for her standing up for you.

One of the women went to speak when Mae dramatically pointed at the itinerary in front of her, “Hey look, there’s a course on how not to be a stuck up bratty bitch that no one will ever love. You should head over there. You wouldn’t want to miss it.”

The three scoffed before mumbling something and finally walking away.

“Hey don’t listen to them. They’re just jealous that you have a handsome guy who clearly loves you and they don’t.”

You tried to smile. You knew what she said was true and that Yoongi loved you. He’d proven it time and time again but it was still difficult to shake the feeling that it was all in your head.

Mae took all of the desserts and started handing them out to people so that they really didn’t go to waste. She kept one slice of strawberry cake for you both to share. To be nice you took a few bites but all you could taste was bitterness.

Yoongi called you later that night again like usual.

“Hey how’s it going? Having lots of fun?”, he asked oblivious to what had happened.

You remained silent knowing that if you spoke he’d hear the shake in your voice.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“No nothings wrong. Sorry I’m just tired.”, you said hoping it sounded believable.

“Mmhm make any more friends?”, he asked and you knew he’d caught on already. Yoongi had worried something like this would happen. He knew if your insecurities and how you always compared yourself to others.

“Yeah it’s been really fun.”, you whispered feeling your throat burn.

“Do you want me to come up there? I’ll bring you home or even just visit for a little. I can tell you’ve been crying. Y/N please talk to me.”

As much as you would love to be engulfed in a big Yoongi hug right now you would never want him to go through all that trouble.

You chuckled, “No no don’t do that. I know you’re really busy. Plus it’s an all female event so you wouldn’t be able to come in anyways.”

“Well we could pretend that your parents hate me and you have to sneak out and then meet me outside by my car?”, he said with a playful hint to his voice.

“First off my parents love you, sometimes I think more than me and I’m just pretty tired honestly. I’m gonna get some sleep. Mae wants to go for an early morning swim tomorrow.”

He sighed knowing that you weren’t going to open up to him right now but he accepted it, “Alright baby. I love you. Call me if you need anything.”

The next day you did go for a swim with Mae. It was relaxing and helped your sore muscles. Afterwords you got showered and changed because Mae wanted to catch this seminar on properly curling your hair.

The room was packed. You really regretted agreeing to go but you were already signed in and registered. In the middle of the room a woman was getting her hair curled with a large group of people surrounding them.

You and Mae were standing in the corner when you saw your bffs from the whole dessert debacle walk by. You expected them to say something mean or snarky to you but they were too busy grumbling to each other about something else.

“Who is she?”

“She’s so pretty.”

“Right…her legs are incredible.”

“She’s not that great. I’ve definitely seen better.”, their leader rolled her eyes and they all left the room.

You and Mae both looked at each other before shrugging and moving to one of the empty tables when you got a better view of the woman everyone had been talking about.

Not only could you recognize those beautiful eyes and cute nose from a mile a way but that woman was also wearing your favorite skirt and a wig you wore for Halloween three years ago.

“Yoongi what are you doing here?,” you asked trying to act mad when he finally walked over to your table.

“Yoongi? Who’s Yoongi? My name is Yoonji.”, he smirked pointing to his name tag where sure enough Yoonji was written in his familiar hand writing. You stared at him trying not to give him the satisfaction of smiling but it’s was difficult.

You waited for him to finish getting his hair done while you explained the situation to Mae who thought it was both hilarious and sweet that he would go through all that trouble for you.

When he finally walked over again you took his hand and lead him up to the room you were staying in.

“You didn’t have to go through all this trouble.”, you said sitting down next to him on the bed.

“I know but it wasn’t any trouble any ways. I know sometimes you let others get in your head. You were upset and I wanted to cheer you up and remind you how much I love you and how much you mean to me and that I would do anything for you…even driving here in the middle of the night while wearing an itchy wig and a short skirt and accidentally flashing a guy at the rest stop trying to get out of my car.”

You smacked his shoulder, “You did not.”

“Oh I did. I think he liked what he saw too.”, he chuckled, “But sucks for him because everything under this skirt already belongs to someone else.”, he said making you breakout into a fit of laughter.

You leaned your head against his shoulder, “Thank you Yoongs. I really needed that.”

He wrapped his arms around you pulling you in for a kiss which you happily obliged.

“I better get going before I get caught.”, he chuckled getting off the bed, “Give me a call tomorrow when you can. Enjoy the rest of your trip but hurry up and come home because I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”, you smiled.

As he started to walk towards the door you called his name to get his attention,

“Hey Yoongi?”

He stopped and turned to look at you.

“Your legs do look really good in that skirt.”, you smiled.

“I know how good I look.”, he smirked before dramatically flipping his hair and walking out the door leaving you in another fit of giggles and feeling comforted and loved.

[unknowntoyou2205]

Christmas always finds me

Info: The younger kids may be the ones who steal Jensen’s attention, but their father can always tell when their sister is having a tough time

Warning: Depression, sadness, loneliness

Relationship: Jensen Ackles x daughter reader

December rolled by quicker than expected. The Ackles house had quickly been dawned with tinsel and decorations, and when school finished, the celebrations were in full swing. Daneel was busy with the youngsters, trying to keep them busy while they waited on their father to come back from filming for the year. Jensen was wrapping up filming this weekend, leaving a whole week before Christmas for the family to prepare and finish traditions.

But while the three youngest Ackles bounded up to the door to greet their father, the oldest stayed behind with their mother. Y/n was now a 17 year old, high school graduate, who was currently studying music and dynamics. She took after her father in the music industry, which meant she had infinite possibilities when it came to her career path. She had always been close with her father, and being only one when her father met Daneel, the woman had become y/n’s mom pretty quickly. Seeing her oldest standing to the side, Daneel wrapped an arm around her waist, leaning her head on y/n’s shoulder.

“Aren’t you going to go see your dad y/n?” Daneel asked. “In a minute. The sooner the kids see him the sooner they get to bed.” Y/n spoke lightly, pointing at the clock that’s arm was near 11pm. “I don’t think they’ll be sleeping much tonight. Not with them going to see Santa tomorrow.” Daneel noted, and y/n groaned inwardly “Do I have to go tomorrow?” “Y/n, you know we always do it as a family.” Daneel scolded her, and y/n sighed. “I don’t really feel like doing it this year.” Y/n spoke. “What you talking about, you love Christmas.” Daneel frowned before the kids came running to them, Jensen in tow.

“Y/n love.” Jensen sighed, pulling his oldest into a tight hug. “Hi Dad.” Y/n sighed, burying her head in his shoulder and they hugged each other tightly. “How are you? I feel we haven’t talked in ages.” Jensen sighed, frowning a little as he felt her squeeze him tightly. “Yea, been busy with music. We’re writing music at the minute which is cool.” Y/n shrugged, looking down as the father daughter duo pulled away. “Well I would love to hear it.” Jensen smiled, proud of his daughter. “Maybe.” Y/n shrugged again, looking down at her siblings as Daneel tried to wound them up to bed. “Hey kids, why don’t we head to bed, leave mum and dad alone.” Y/n spoke out, trying to help Daneel. “I thought you and your father could spend time together.” “That’s okay. I’m tired so I’m gonna hit the bed myself. But maybe tomorrow night, yea?” Y/n asked, looking from her father to her mother.

“Sounds good.” Jensen smiles, ruffling Zep’s hair as y/n pushed JJ to mae her way up, the twings following.

Through the years I've moved a lot Different doors with different locks But somehow Christmas always finds me It's been a while since I wished For roller blades and pixie sticks But somehow Christmas always finds me

Y/n groaned as she flipped over on the bed, trying to avoid the morning light that was threatening the shine through the curtains. Sheets littered her bed, and her guitar was leaning against her locker, her piano set up at the bottom of the bed. Sleep was hard to find these days, so most of her night consumed with her degree. With her new assignment, she was glad her father had set her room to be noise cancelling. She had always loved music, and when babies were around her practice sessions weren’t always perfectly timed, so Jensen had decided to sound proof her room, both for their sanity and hers.

A knock on the door caused her to look up, and she sighed when she seen Jensen pop his head in before the door was pushed open by JJ, who ran to jump onto her older sisters bed. Y/n gasped as the young girl jumped all over her sheets, and she glared at her as she grabbed all the papers, moving them to her locker.

“JJ be careful.” Y/n snapped, causing JJ to look at her. “Mommy told us to come get you up for Santa today.” JJ squealed, before stopping when she seen her sisters glare. “I’m not going.” Y/n stated, and JJ rolled her eyes. “But you have to. We always go.” The young girl stated, pointing her hands at her sister. “I have more important things than Santa JJ.” Y/n snapped again, causing JJ’s eyes to widen. “JJ, go tell mommy y/n and I will be down in a minute.” Jensen spoke, trying to avoid a screaming math between the sisters.

Y/n watched JJ leave with a sigh before moving to sort out the papers that JJ had crumpled from her jumping. Jensen sighed and rubbed his face as he sat down at the edge of the bed, playing a key on the piano before clearing his throat when y/n looked at him from the side of her eye.

“Look, you didn’t have to be so short with your sister.” Jensen started, giving y/n a pointed look when she turned to him. “She crumpled up my sheets.” Y/n stated, still flattening them out. “She was excited, so were you at her age.” “Not any more.” Y/n deadpanned, causing Jensen to sigh and look around. “This part of your song your working on?” Jensen asked, catching sight of some sheets on the keyboard. “Part of it.” Y/n sighed, looking to see what he was looking at. “Can you play it for me?” Jensen asked, loving a chance to listen his daughters talent. “It’s not finished yet, I haven’t even found the right words.” “We all start somewhere.” Jensen implied, placing a hand around y/n’s shoulder, “Please?” He asked again, placing his chin on her shoulder.

Y/n sighed and placed the sheets in her hand on the locker before scooting behind Jensen to get to her keyboard. Jensen watched her with a smile, moving to lean against her pillows as she prepared to play. He watched her fingers move effortlessly as the tune came to life. Closing his eyes, he smiled as he heard her begin to hum to the keys. As she came to a stop, she refused to look at her father, flinching a little as she felt his arms wrap around her from behind.

“That was great love.” Jensen smiled, pecking her cheek gently. “It’s only the start, still have away to go.” Y/n tried to justify. “It’s a great start. Do you need help with the lyrics.” Jensen asked, always wiling to help his kids. “No that’s okay. I know what I want to say, just not sure how.” Y/n shoot him down, and Jensen frowned, knowing she always liked when he helped her with her music. “Alright, well don’t be afraid to ask if you need me.” Jensen offered. “I know dad.” Y/n smiled slightly, trying to ease her fathers worry. “Come on, get ready to go before mum comes up after us.” Jensen spoke, moving off the bed. “Do I really have to go?” Y/n sighed. “Come on, you always enjoy it.” Jensen sighed, placing a hand on y/n’s shoulder. “I don’t feel like it today. Why don’t we go tomorrow?”  Y/ asked, trying to put it off. “You and I both know the kids won’t take too kindly to that. And they certainly won’t be happy if you don’t go. It’s tradition we all go.” Jensen stated, kissing y/n’s head. “I’ll see you down there.”

Y/n sighed as her father closed her bedroom door before moving to start getting ready. Throwing on a Christmas cardigan over a black dress, y/n sighed as she looked herself in the mirror before heading down to where her family were waiting by the Christmas tree. Daneel smiled as she seen her daughter, opting to take a photo of her descending the stairs before moving to get the kids into the car, while Jensen watched their oldest from behind, a frown etched on his face.

When silver bells and silent night And mistletoe's nowhere in sight With no chance of snow falling down Another year older Little harder to believe But somehow Christmas always finds me

Y/n stayed behind her parents and siblings as Jensen held onto the twins to prevent them running too far. JJ skipped in front of the group, singing along to the Christmas tunes that were heard over the speakers through the mall. Hearing the chatter of people around her, all cheerful as they waited to visit Santa, y/n couldn’t help but look down, trying to avoid conversation. Daneel looked back to her oldest daughter and seeing her keeping to herself, she eyes her husband before placing a hand on his arm, taking the twins hands.

“Hey y/n, you okay?” Jensen asked, rubbing his eldest back gently. “Yeah just tired. Didn’t sleep much last night. Guess it was the excitement of going here with the kids.” Y/n stated, trying to avoid confrontation. “Well if you want an early night that’s fine. Can leave films for another night.” Jensen suggested, trying to ease her daughter’s tiredness. “Yea, maybe.” Y/n agreed, shrugging a little before looking down at JJ who was jumping at her excitedly. “We’re next.” JJ stated, trying to take her sisters hand. “Sure are JJ.” Y/n smiled at the girl before moving with her to Santa.

Jensen sighed in slight disappointment as he eyed his oldest daughter help Zepplin and Arrow onto Santa’s lap. JJ positioned herself on the arm of Santas chair while y/n opted to stand to the side, leaning against the back of the chair with her arms crossed. Daneel gave y/n a look causing y/n to sigh before moving to crouch down beside Arrow, taking the young girls hand while wrapping her arm around her shoulders. Once the photo was taken y/n instantly moved away from the kids, allowing them to speak to Santa on their own. Daneel wrapped an arm around her eldest waist, smiling slightly as the girl leaned into her touch.

“What you say we go grab some Nando’s after here?” Daneel asked, looking at y/n with a smile. “Mom, you know I’m trying to cut out fast foods. Being in College you rely on them heavily when you get too lazy to cook.” Y/n joked, and her father eyed her warily. “I’m concerned for your heart love.” Jensen stated, causing y/n to roll her eyes. “I’m kidding dad, I got takeaway max once a week. With mum’s amazing cooking I got away lightly with pre made meals.” Y/n smiled at her parents, causing Daneel to blush slightly. “Well it’s the least I can do for my talented daughter.” Daneel stated, squeezing her slightly. “Yeah, well I think I’m going to drive home after this, work more on my assignments.” Y/n shrugged, wanting to get away from the festivities for a while. “That’s not like you.” Daneel frowned. “Well college changes people.” Y/n shrugged, causing Jensen to narrow his eyes at her. “Why don’t I accompany you home, you can handle the kids on your own right hun?” Jensen asked Daneel, looking down at his wife who eyes her. “I mean yea I guess I could.” Daneel agreed, causing y/n to look at her unconvinced. “Dad it’s fine. Help mum with the kids, the twins especially are gonna be very hyper after that lolly.” Y/n pointed at the big lollypops the elves gave the kids as their visit finished. “No I’ll be fine. You go with your dad, spend some time together.” Daneel suggested to y/n, causing Jensen to smile widely. “It’ll be fun.” Jensen nodded, looking at y/n as she looked down. “I suppose so.” Y/n stated, moving away from her parents as the kids returned.

In traffic jams and shopping malls I lose the magic of it all But somehow Christmas always finds me

Jensen leaned his arm against the passenger window, his head resting on his hand as y/n drove her car back to the house. Sitting in the passenger sit with his daughter driving always brought memories of when he thought her to drive. Daneel refused to do it as it was always lead to screaming matches between the two, so Jensen was given the task to teach her. Beams of lights shone as they passed cars, and Jensen smiled as he remembered what y/n used to describe the stream of cars.

“The lights kind of remind you of the Christmas lights right?” Jensen smiled, knowing y/n would agree. “I guess.” Y/n sighed, keeping her eyes on the road. “Why don’t we put on some Christmas music, going to get caught in some traffic.” Jensen suggested, moving to turn on the Bluetooth. “I think I’d rather the radio to be honest.” Y/n sighed, switching off the music as ‘merry Christmas everyone’ began to play. “You always love listening to Christmas music while we’re in the car. Some karaoke.” Jensen spoke, confused on why she shut it off so quickly. “Not this year dad, I’d rather concentrate on the road.” Y/n blinked, squinting her eyes slightly. “If your too tired to drive I can take over.” Jensen spoke, concerned she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the road. “No, I’ll be okay. We’re nearly home anyway.” Y/n spoke as she turned off the main road, sighing as they meet traffic. “You were saying.” Jensen smirked slightly, chucking at his daughters frustrations. “Why is it so busy this time of year?” Y/n muttered, slowing down quickly. “You never were one for patience.” Jensen laughed, and y/n rolled her eyes quickly. “I just want to get home to finish my assignment.” Y/n groaned, tapping her fingers in frustration. “Why don’t I help you when we get back. Can make it go by quicker?” Jensen suggested, seeing the stress presenting his daughters body. “No that’s okay” Y/n replied quickly, causing Jensen to turn to her. “That was a quick answer.” Jensen stated. “Everything okay?” “Maybe we should listen to some Christmas songs to pass the time.” Y/n tried to avoid the conversation, and Jensen could tell. “Y/n, you know you can talk to me.” Jensen spoke softly, squeezing the top of y/n’s hand as it lay on the gear stick. “I was thinking, maybe tonight we could watch a movie in my room, sleepover vibes, just like when I was young.” Y/n suggested, trying to get away from feelings. “I think that’s a great idea.” Jensen smiled softly, knowing she would come to him when she needed to. “You sort out the snacks while I work on my assignment.”  Y/n suggested, and Jensen sighed. “Your really dead set on doing your assignment aren’t you.” Jensen stated. “It’s Christmas dad.” Y/n shrugged, slight disappointment in her tone. “Yeah, it’s Christmas.” Jensen agreed, just glad she wanted to spend time with him.

When silver bells and silent night And mistletoe's nowhere in sight With no chance of snow falling down Another year older Little harder to believe But somehow Christmas always finds me

Y/n rubbed her eyes as she attempted to finish writing the last verse of her song. She sniffed slightly as she hummed the tune, reading over the words before nodding in approval. She had opted to write what she was feelings, and with this Christmas season feeling upside down, she opted to write on how she felt with her family still celebrating Christmas. With kids around it meant that she had to at least pretend she was enjoying the festivities, but it was hard. This year brought nothing but stress and struggles for y/n, and with it flying by so fast it just felt like another day to her.

Jensen sang ‘It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas’ quietly as he prepared the snack tray for his and y/n’s movie night. Daneel had finished getting the kids ready for the night, and was going to have a girls night in with Gen in the living room. It was rare that Jensen got to spend one on one time with his oldest. With three kids significantly younger than her, majority of his time was split between them. During filming, he’d often call her to check on her, with her first year away from home on campus he was determined to make sure she was okay.

Humming happily to himself, he made his way up the stairs, watching his feet on the steps before walking towards y/n’s bedroom door. Knocking slightly, he waited for her to call or open the door, but he frowned when he seen her.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked, seeing her watery eyes. “Yea, just finished my song so, all ready for tonight.” Y/n stated, wiping her eyes. “Was it a sad song or something?” Jensen asked, placing the tray on her bed to face her. “I guess.” Y/n shrugged, and Jensen frowned, “Just wrote how I felt.” “That’s a good way to let go of emotions.” Jensen nodded, “Wanna talk about it?” “Actually, I think I’d rather just watch the film.” Y/n stated, and Jensen smiled. “That’s okay. Once you know you can come to me about anything.” Jensen smiled at his daughter, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I know dad.” Y/n smiled, moving in for a hug, “Now, what treats did you bring?” “Well I tried to make it a little festive, so majority are either shaped Christmassy or green and red.” Jensen spoke, happy with himself. “Looks amazing.” Y/n smiled, moving to pick a Christmas hat from the tray. “Now, what are we watching?” Jensen asked, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

It takes me back to younger days Of stockings on the fireplace And presents stacked And waiting by the tree And even if I'm all alone A million miles away from home It shows up in warm memory

The Christmas period went by fast, and soon it was Christmas eve. Daneel had been busy all day prepping for the Christmas dinner, and y/n had baked some cookies to be left out for Santa this evening with the kids. It was a rare time for y/n to be out of her room, she had spent most of it lounging around, avoiding the festive activities. Jensen was sorting out the front of the tree so the kids had somewhere to place the carrot, milk and cookies for Santa.

Y/n pursed her lip as she lay the tray of cookies to the side to rest. She wasn’t really feeling the festivities, but she decided to go help her father none the less. Seeing him standing at the front of the tree with his hands on his hips made her laugh lightly, and she sneaked a picture before moving to wrap an arm around.

“Hey there.” Jensen smiled, looking down at his eldest as she latched onto him. “Hi.” Y/n spoke, leaning into his embrace. “You finished the cookies?” “Yea, they’re cooling now. The task now is to prevent little hands getting at them.” Y/n stated, and Jensen nodded in agreement. “Gonna be tough.” Jensen spoke, pretending to shake her. The father daughter duo stood in silence, y/n looking down in thought. “You okay?” Jensen asked, seeing his daughters spaced off look. “Do you maybe, wanna hear my song?” Y/ blurted out quickly before she changed her mind. “I would love to.” Jensen smiled, glad she was letting him in. “It’s not an upbeat song, just to warn you.” Y/n stated as she walked slowly up the stairs. “I’m sure it’s amazing.” Jensen smiled reassuringly, following behind her.

Y/n walked in silence as they entered her room, and she sat by her keyboard, Jensen taking a seat on her bed. Breathing in deeply she glanced up to her father to see him smiling reassuringly. Seeing her shaking hands he winked at her to assure her it was okay. Tapping the keys to ensure it was on, She cleared her throat as she began to sing.

“Through the years….”

Jensen watched y/n with a sad smile as she sung, her confidence growing as she got into it. Realizing that she was actually singing how she felt this Christmas, his heart pulled as tears filled his eyes. This year had been a big change for the Ackles, with y/n no longer being home the house felt more empty. The family were used to Jensen being away for long periods of time, but when the eldest child left, a hole was felt. But for y/n, her first year of college was hard. The stress of continuous assignments being due, lead to her falling into a hole, a hole that was hard to get out of.

As she finished her song, y/n looked down with tears in er eyes, before jumping when she felt arms wrap around her. She closed her eyes as her father tightened his grip on her, and she sighed as he kissed her head from behind.

“Y/n love, you are one talented person.” Jensen sighed, rocking her gently. “I’m sorry I haven’t been excited this year.” Y/n spoke, moving to hold Jensen’s arms in her hands. “It’s okay, it is definitely ok not to feel festive.” Jensen sighed, moving to crouch in front of his daughter, “What your feeling is okay. There are others out there feeling the same for numerous reasons. You don’t have to feel anything if you don’t want to.” “I tried dad I really tried.” Y/n cried, moving to hug Jensen tightly. “Hey shush now, your okay. I’m here. You don’t have to try anything.” Jensen comforted her, rubbing her back gently. “I tried to hide it, I really did.” “You don’t have to hide anything. You can always come to me, I’m here for you alright.” Jensen spoke, moving to hold y/n’s face in his hands. “I love you dad.” Y/n sighed as Jensen brushed the tears away. “I love you too.” Jensen smiled, glad her daughter opened up.

Another year older Getting harder to believe But somehow Christmas always find me

Christmas morning was chaus in the Ackles household. JJ, Arrow and Zepplin were running wild though their parents rooms and their sisters, wanting to go downstairs and see what Santa had brought. Y/n groaned at being woken up, but allowed her brother to tug her out of bed. Deciding to sit away from the madness, she opted to sit on the stairs, leaning her head in her hand as she watched her siblings sort out the presents. She looked up when she felt a hand on her head and her father smiled down at her before moving to sit with her mother.

Christmas isn’t always a joyful time, and y/n was okay with that. She was okay with staying away from festivities this year, once she had her dad by her side.

[neverlookatthisblog]

Soccer games

Growing up playing sports wasn’t your thing you never thought that your kids would be interested in it

Jane plays volleyball,Ruth plays flag football and Mae well Mae has yet to figure out what she wants to play if she even wants to do sports

And Ryder,

Jack would take Ryder to the place where he plays soccer at all the time in Louisville eventually it turned into Ryder wanting to play soccer for his school

You and Jack agreed to the idea of him playing soccer you didn’t mind and either did Jack he took it more as bonding opportunity with his son

Jack was so excited and happy you smiled because you knew how much Jack loved playing soccer with his boys

Ryder had a game but with your busy schedule you couldn’t get off work early

“I’m sorry bub I can’t make it”you said to Ryder over the phone you felt bad Ryder didn’t see a problem with it he knew it was work stuff

“It’s okay babe I got this” Jack insisted on the phone you were sad that you couldn’t make it but Jack made you feel better about it

Pulling up to the field Jack turned his head to look at him

“You ready kid” he asked at first Ryder looked unsure it soon changed when he seen his friends get out the car

“Yeah” he smiled they both got out the car Jack met with Ryder’s coach they talked for a bit

“Dad what if I don’t win” he said

“Harlow’s are never quitters don’t doubt yourself you got a whole team behind you helping you through this” Jack said giving his son the motivational speech he needed

“Thanks dad” he said hugging him

“Of course now get out there and make me a proud dad” he said making Ryder laugh

They game started off pretty rough even Jack had some self doubts

“Cmon kid get it together” he said to himself as he watched his kid play the game

Ryder felt himself start to get upset and frustrated because he wasn’t making it in but he remember what his dad told him He took a deep breath and kept trying

If anything Ryder was just like Jack always wanting to win always wanting more when it comes to the things their passionate about

Ryder ran as fast as he could kicking the ball so hard that he felt like his foot would be bruised by the end of it but he didn’t care he wanted to win

He kicked the ball into the net which earned him to win the game

Jack was a screaming mess he was happy jumping around he knew his son could do it

“What did I say??” Jack hugged Ryder tightly he was so happy for his son they got to take a trophy home

“I knew you could do it I never wanna hear you doubt yourself like that ever again you hear me” Jack said

“Yes”Ryder said

When they got home they met with you and the girls you were preparing for dinner

“So how’d it go” you said

“It went great-“ Jack was cut off by Ryder

“I ONE MY FIRST GAME!” He said excitedly

You smiled at how happy your little boy got it reminded you so much of Jack win he plays with soccer with his friends for fun and he comes back to tell you how it goes

“Aww I’m so proud of you bub” you said

You spent the next hour listening to your son ramble on about his game you let him and listened to everything he had to say you knew this was something that he was going to continue to do as he grows up and you had no problems with that.

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

Accidental kiss with Wreck gar and Ratchet please? 👉👈

The day had started out just as normal for everyone's favorite garbarge-bot. He had woken up early, just at the crack of dawn, and gotten up from his wonderful bed made out of trash bags filled with the softest trash he could find. Then he had done his morning routines. First, he had greeted the day with an enthusiastic hello, waving the sun hello to make it feel appreciated. It couldn't be easy being so bright all the time! Then, he had stretched. Now, technically, robots don't need to stretch on account of them lacking muscles like organics do. But try to explain that to Wreck-Gar, who was busy touching his metal toes and doing jumping jacks with remarkable enthusiasm.

Once that was done, it was time for breakfast! Delicious oil, warmed to a perfect 200 degrees celsius. No better way to get yourself going in the morning! That's what good ol' grandma Wreck-Mae always used to tell him! Or was it something he read on an advertisement somewhere? He couldn't remember. Not that it really mattered where he got it from, Wreck-Gar still found it to be true!

Finally, once all that was done, it was finally time to really start the day. Wreck-Gar's job is very important, you see. Maybe the most important job of them all. He was a garbage collector! It was his duty to make sure that the streets of the city remained litter free and clean! After all, all trash belonged somewhere. To see it sad and lonely on the street, no, what a heartbreaking thought! The street was no place for a good piece of garbage! Which meant it was up to Wreck-Gar to collect it and place it where it belonged, on the dump with all the other neat garbage he found! Most of it got recycled, which was a good thing, really. Recycled things turned into new trash eventually so that meant Wreck-Gar would never run out of it! But some pieces were just too good for him to give up and those he kept to himself. No one appeared upset by it so Wreck-Gar assumed that it was alright!

Well, maybe that was a lie. Someone did get upset whenever Wreck-Gar brought back trash. Ratchet. Oh, just thinking about the doc-bot made Wreck-Gar swoon and want to break out in song! Such a lovely mech, with his pretty paint and even prettier face! And so smart! Ratchet was the smartest person Wreck-Gar knew and he always learned something new when they spoke. Like the fact that he's not supposed to chew bubblegum, no matter how fun the humans make it look! Now THAT had been a real mess! It took a long time for Ratchet to get all the gunk out of Wreck-Gar's insides but Wreck-Gar hadn't really minded all that much since it had meant he got to spend time with his favorite bot. Ratchet was always so busy, always so hard at work. That was just another thing Wreck-Gar loved about him because he was also really passionate about his own job.

Now, Ratchet didn't really like it when Wreck-Gar brought him trash which was fine! Garbage wasn't for everyone, as hard as that was to understand sometimes. That didn't mean that Wreck-Gar still didn't pick up pieces of garbage he found throughout the day that reminded him of the medic. While Ratchet may not want it, Wreck-Gar liked to keep it. His favorite piece of trash that he had found recently was actually a partially broken traffic which had the exact same colors as Ratchet's paint job. Now hadn't that been a real find! Wreck-Gar had placed that particular object on a shelf he could see when he went to sleep every night, so he could hopefully dream of Ratchet when he fell asleep.

Speaking of dreams! Wreck-Gar had just had the most fantastic one ever! Him and Ratchet had been frolicking through the park, feeding the ducks and petting the giraffes (you know, like you do when in the park), when Ratchet had suddenly turned to him and given him a kiss! A big ol' smooch! Right on the lips! Oh boy, it made Wreck-Gar blush just thinking about it!

It also made him wonder what Ratchet's lips felt like. Probably real soft. Softer than anything he could imagine. The dream had been nice but it wasn't real life and Wreck-Gar was sure the real deal was better than anything his mind could make up.

Wreck-Gar wasn't sure when he had started driving towards the autobot base but he suddenly found himself parked outside. His engine revved when he realized where he was. Oh! What a pleasant surprise! At least Wreck-Gar thought it was. And now he had an excuse to go see Doc! Because surely there had to be some kind of awful malfunction when your wheels just drove you somewhere all on its own? Probably something deadly. That meant Ratchet HAD to look over him! And then Wreck-Gar could tell him all about his amazing dream while that happened! What a great idea, body! Good job malfunctioning!

Transforming to root mode, Wreck-Gar walked into the autobot base, playfully knocking on the wall as he entered. "Ahoy, mateys!" he hollered when he saw some of the autobots who looked up at him in surprise. He waved at them eagerly, happy to see them, but felt a pang of sadness when he didn't spot Ratchet with them. He still smiled at them. "Wonderful morning, isn't it?"

"Wreck-Gar?" Optimus said and the trash-bot smiled wider when he heard his name. "Uh, yeah, good morning to you too. Is there something you need help with?"

Before Wreck-Gar could respond, Bumblebee snickered to himself from where he sat on the large couch. "He's probably here to see his boyfriend."

"Bumblebee!" This time, Optimus said the yellow bot's name, though much louder than he had said Wreck-Gar's. "That's not- We shouldn't speculate like that about our colleague's relationships! It is highly unprofessional!"

Instead of backing off, Bumblebee just huffed. "Oh please, we all know the guy is smitten! And Ratchet-"

Immediately, Wreck-Gar's expression brightened. "Ratchet! Yes! That is why I am here, to see him!" Bumblebee let out a loud 'told ya!' but Wreck-Gar didn't really pay that any attention as he was busy looking around for his favorite medic. "You see, I am terribly, TERRIBLY ill!" He peeked into a nearby room. Not there. "I believe it might be cosmic rust. Or maybe lycanthropy!" He picked up the couch to check under it. Bumblebee made a funny, high pitched sound but nope. Not there either. "And I so desperately need to see Doc!"

"Didn't he examine you just recently?" asked Optimus.

"Yep!"

There was a moment of silence. "And now you are suddenly terribly ill?"

Wreck-Gar nodded vigorously. "That's right!" He dramatically threw an arm over his face and let out a groan of exaggerated pain. "I fear this might be the end for poor Wreck-Gar. Poor bot! Dying at such a young age! In his prime, to boot! Alas, such is fate!" He peeked out from behind his arm and pouted. "Unless, of course, I see Ratchet. Right now."

Optimus' face twitched funnily before he looked away. He cleared his throat. "Of course. Of course. Don't worry Wreck-Gar, I am sure Ratchet can, eh, fix you." He threw a thumb over his shoulder, pointing at a hallway leading to another room. "He's in his medbay, cleaning his tools, but I'm sure he'll make time for you."

Wreck-Gar perked up and saluted. "Thank you, my friend! When I write my memoir I will not forget to mention how you played a vital part in saving my life! But now, I have to make haste! The doctor is in!" Wreck-Gar hastily made his way to the medbay, feeling encouraged by the way Bumblebee was laughing. Such a nice bot, sending him off with a smile!

When Wreck-Gar saw Ratchet, he paused. The medic stood haunched over a workbench, some of his tools neatly lined up next to each other. He had yet to notice that someone had entered the room so Wreck-Gar took the moment to admire the mech. He really hadn't lied when he said that Ratchet was lovely. His red and white paint job was beautiful. It reminded Wreck-Gar of candy canes, which made him think of Christmas, which in turn made him think of singing, and Wreck-Gar loved to sing! Oh, maybe he should have made up a song before he visited! People liked his singing after all, they always stared and made these funny faces when he pulled out his accordion. Surely Ratchet would have appreciated a nice lil tune, something happy about sunshine and holding hands and-

"Wreck-Gar? What are you doing here?"

Oh, Ratchet had finally noticed him! Wreck-Gard smiled and his spark made a funny feeling when the medic said his name. "Hello doctor! I am here for maintenance!"

Ratchet frowned slightly. "Already?" His frown grew more intense. "Did you get something stuck in your internals again?"

"Nope!" Wreck-Gar replied, making the P pop. "I am dying!"

Immediately, Ratchet's optics blew wide open and his engine stuttered. "What?" He strode forward towards the garbage bot. "Is it your spark? Did you hit your head? Has the trash finally degraded your system? Where is-"

Now, normally, Ratchet was a very tidy bot. At least, he kept his workspace tidy. All his tools would be exactly where they needed to be, absolutely nothing would be misplaced and nothing would be in the way. The thing was, today was cleaning day and Ratchet had dragged out everything for maintenance. And if one of his tools had just so happened to lay dropped on the floor, well, mistakes happen. So it wasn't really Ratchet's fault that he accidentally stepped on this dropped tool and lost his balance, tripping and falling forward with flailing limbs.

Luckily, Wreck-Gard was there to catch him. Except he hadn't really been prepared to get an armful of medic so he also went toppling over. There was loud bang, the sound of metal against metal, and then it was all so very still and quiet.

There wasn't a lot of things that could quiet Wreck-Gar. He always had something to say, some little quip and observation or song or- well, the point was, Wreck-Gar was always talking. He even had the quirk of talking in his sleep. That's how much of a talker he was. Right now, however, he had to be excused, because his mouth was busy with something else and thus couldn't voice his thoughts out loud.

Ratchet had landed right on top of him and in the fall, their lips had met. And wow. Wowza. Gee whiz. Wreck-Gar had been right. Ratchet's lips were soft. Really soft. Plush like, like- he couldn't even come up with a good comparison. They were unlike anything he had ever felt before. And they felt good. Wreck-Gar closed his eyes and smiled into the kiss.

Even when Ratchet scrambled off him, face flushed and spouting excuses and other kinda panicked words, Wreck-Gar couldn't help but smile dopily. He sighed dreamily and stared at the medic with hearts in his optics. "Better than a dream, by far."

[moonstruckme]

Hi Mae! I absolutely adore you and your writing, you truly have a gift!

Can I please request something with James Potter where readers anxiety is really bad and is super emotional cause pms and is just kinda struggling and needs to be dealt with the most gently? Totally not projecting much at all lol 😬😫🤣

Totally no pressure if you don’t feel up to it! I love reading anything you write ❤️❤️

Hi lovely, thanks so much!!

James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 772 words

“Here y’go, love.” James presses a mug’s handle into your hands, and you take it quickly once you realize he’s holding the hot sides. 

“James!” you hiss, chiding. “You’re going to burn yourself.”

Only James Potter could make a shrug seem fond. He sits down beside you on the couch, hand resting on your thigh, and the knee you hadn’t realized you’d been jiggling slows to a stop. 

“What’s eating you?” he asks mildly, rubbing you from knee to hip as he sips his tea, quietly hinting for you to do so as well. 

You sigh, blowing on your tea before raising it to your lips. “Nothing so important I should be this stressed about it,” you say bitterly. “It’s just PMS.” 

You hate how your hormones mess with you around this time of the month. It makes it feel like you can’t trust yourself, because you’re never sure if the emotions you’re experiencing are valid or amplified by your body’s punishing cycle. Your already oversensitive nerves go into overdrive, and you feel three times as susceptible to bouts of rage or crying, though which one it’ll be is as good as a coin toss. Everything is just more, and all the time, and it sucks. 

James makes a sad puppy sound. “Yeah? Are you hurting, honey?” 

“Not really.” You have a headache, but that’s probably more due to your anxiety than anything else. 

“Well, why don’t you try telling me what’s bothering you,” James suggests. “Even if you think it’s not a big deal, maybe I can help.” 

You sigh again, a heaving, dramatic exhale. “Macy’s having a birthday party this weekend.” 

That surprises a smile out of James, and he tilts his head to look at you bemusedly. “Oh, how nefarious! Shall we curse her?” 

You give him a look that says not funny, even as your own lips curl up slightly. James smothers his grin as best he can (which is to say, not very well), nodding at you seriously to continue. 

“I just—” you heave another sigh, and James’ hand redoubles its efforts on your leg, squeezing the fatty inner part encouragingly. “I’m not going to know anyone there, and I’m going to have to go straight after work on Friday, and she and her friends always stay out so much later than I want to. I just know I’m going to be exhausted.” 

“Okay.” James is nodding, still looking slightly confused. “So don’t go.” 

“But it’s her birthday,” you say, the last syllable taking an unexpected turn into whiny territory as your eyes grow wet. “I don’t have an excuse to miss it and I’ll be the worst friend in the world if I do.” 

“Sweetheart, hey.” James’ voice takes on a slight panicked edge due to the appearance of tears, though you can tell he’s trying to be soothing. His hand abandons your leg to snake around your waist, scrubbing up and down your side. “Honey, you’re a great friend. You’re just looking out for yourself a little bit,” he promises, kissing the top of your head. “Let’s think about who’s going to be more upset, alright? If you miss it, Macy might be a bit sad you didn’t come, but she’s still got all of her other friends who don’t know you anyway, and the party will probably go on as it would have. But if you go, you’ll have to hurry there straight after work, you might be too tired to be much fun, and you could end up miserable the whole night. Sound right?” You nod wretchedly, and he hums into your hair. “So just miss this one, and make it up to her with lunch or something another time, yeah?” At your hesitation, he adds, “You have plans Friday night, you can’t make it.” 

You look up at James. “I don’t have plans, though. I don’t want to lie to her.” 

“Sure you do, sweetheart,” he contradicts you, grinning. “You have plans with me, duh. You’ve only been friends with Macy for a couple months, right?” You nod. “Well then sorry, Macy, but I’m pulling rank.” You laugh, and James swoops down to kiss at your dimple when it appears. “I need my girl for Friday night. She’s pre-engaged.” 

James can never stop kissing once he’s gotten started, and you hide your cheek from him in his own chest, wrapping your arms around his waist in an awkward sort of hug. “Thanks, Jamie.” 

You can still hear the smile in his voice. “Anytime, my love. Now, since that’s been resolved, do you think you can drink your tea? It’s gonna get cold.”

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Veil of Shadows : Epilogue

Word Count : 2.3k

Warnings : swearing, sex mention (no smut), drunk mention, murder, death, blood, gun, knife, fighting, being attacked, stabbing, crowbar, baseball bat, hand axe, some sad angst, surrendering, giving up, cheating, police, open ending

A/N : Happy Halloween my friends! The epilogue is here! I hope you enjoy the final part to this story. I had so much fun writing this one! Anyway be safe to those who are partying tonight or this weekend! Have a fun Halloween!

⚠️Minors do not interact⚠️

            “You killed Kang Yeosang?” The detective asked as he turned around to face them again, crossing his arms over his chest. “But you didn’t kill the rest of them?” He was skeptical that this person killed anyone. He could see by the look in their eyes that they loved their friends. All of them. He can see that they miss them, that they feel like they have nothing left to live for with them all gone.

            “Kang Yeosang killed them all, so I killed him.” The detective closed the door and walked back to his chair, taking a seat across from them once again. He leaned forward on the table to emphasize what he was going to say next.

            “You understand what you’re admitting to here, right?” They nodded. “Are you claiming self defense?” They paused for a second. Was it really self defense if they knew Yeosang wasn’t going to kill them? “Tell me what happened and maybe I can help you.”

~

            The five of them stood in front of the bookshelf that Hongjoong closed on Seonghwa no more than twenty minutes previous, varying weapons in their hands. They know who they’re up against, but they don’t know what they’re up against. What weapons he has, what strengths, plans, strategies. They only ever knew him as a soft spoken, always confused, but really loving person. Who he is now, they have no idea.

            Seonghwa reaches forwards and grabs the statue that opened the bookshelf when he was with Hongjoong and opens the door to the secret room. He glances back at his friends and they’re all watching with determined looks on their faces. “Fighting!” They all chant quietly before beginning to walk down the stairs.

            Seonghwa leads the group with Mae right behind him and Des behind her. Yunho and Jongho take up the rear, glances behind them to make sure that Yeosang wouldn’t sneak up on them from behind.

            At the bottom, Seonghwa pauses, seeing what Hongjoong saw when he came. The seemingly endless hallway with different hallways breaking off to the left and right. When everyone was gathered at the bottom, they all exchanged glances. “There’s hidden doors in every single room.” Des said softly. And the realization set in that they were never safe. Not even behind a locked door.

            Slowly, step by step, the group of five moved towards the end of the hallway, seeing the turn that Hongjoong did earlier. Seonghwa peered around the corner, see more of the seemingly endless hallway, and seeing it finally end at a lighted room with pools of blood on the floor. But there was no sign of Yeosang.

            Seonghwa turned around to face the group. “There’s a room a few feet down. Blood on the floor, but no Yeosang.” He whispered. They had a plan. One they were sure they could pull off without a hitch. They were determined to take Yeosang down for everything he’s done, for the people he’s taken away, the future he ripped away from them.

            But they weren’t expecting to see their loved ones sat up in chairs lined along the walls of the room. Blood still covering Hongjoong, Kayla, and Y/n. All of them were in shock seeing them there like this. Each one stood in front of their respective partner, tears welling up in their eyes as they say their goodbyes.

            “Oh how touching.” They all whipped around to see Yeosang entering the room from a door they didn’t know existed. “Surprise!” He joked. “I was expecting you all to come down eventually. I was hoping you wouldn’t. But expected it nonetheless.” Yeosang looked down at his hands, grabbing a towel from the table beside him to clean off some of the spatter he missed earlier. “Why must you people be so nosey?”

            “Shut the fuck up!” Mae screamed, running towards him and hitting him in the side with the baseball bat she was holding. It wasn’t part of the original plan. But at this point, the original plan was long forgotten. Slipped their minds the second their eyes landed on their loved ones sat up in chairs like some kind of Halloween decoration.

            “Feisty this one. Is that why Wooyoung liked you so much?” Yeosang was taunting her, he was taunting them all. He loved the reactions he got when taunting them like this. Mae screamed again, raising the baseball bat and slamming it into the side of his thigh. Yeosang winced and then let out a chuckle.

            His smile faltered when his eyes fell onto Jongho. Standing there with a look of disappointment and anger. Jongho kept glancing behind him to his dead girlfriend sitting there. Yeosang watched him, wanting to reach out to him, tell him that he doesn’t need Yuri, that he can protect him, that he can make him happier than Yuri ever could.

            Yunho took this opportunity to attack. He stepped forward, knife in hand, aiming for the heart. His hand shaking slightly, but he was determined to do this for Mingi. He was determined to do this for the friends he’s lost because of the monster in front of him. Yeosang was distracted, he could do this.

            Memories of him and Mingi flashed in his mind. From their first meeting to Yunho proposing to their wedding. Mingi was always smiling at Yunho. They were always happiest together, even when they were just friends. Yeosang didn’t just take away his husband, he took away his best friend.

            But Yunho couldn’t be as cruel. Even though he knew the Yeosang standing in front of him wasn’t the same Yeosang he’s gotten to know all these years. He wasn’t the same Yeosang in all the memories stored in Yunho’s mind. Still, Yunho couldn’t kill him. Last second, he aimed the knife down and stabbed it into Yeosang’s leg.

            “Fuck!” Yeosang screamed out, his attention being torn away from Jongho. He looked down at the knife in his leg and then up at Yunho who was tearing up in front of him.

            “You killed Mingi and I still couldn’t bring myself to kill you.” Yunho cried out. “I fucking hate you. Just kill me. I don’t want to live in a world without Mingi. I can’t. Please.”

            “Awe well it’s less fun when you’re begging for it.” Yeosang pouted for half a second before pulling his gun out and shooting Yunho. “Never mind. Still fun.” He laughed. The other four just stood there staring in shock, unsure of what to do next. Their various weapons were no match for a gun, but four people should be able to take out one person, right?

            Yeosang directed his attention back to the knife in his leg, taking a deep breath before ripping it out of his leg, screaming in the process. Mae decided to attack again while Yeosang was wrapping a piece of fabric around the bleeding wound. Smashing the bat into his new wound and raising the bat again, about to smash it into his head when he shot her in the stomach. She fell back, gripping her stomach.

            “That’s enough of that.” Yeosang said nonchalantly before shooting Mae again, smiling as he watched her drop to the ground dead. All that was left was Des, Seonghwa, and Jongho. Yeosang turned his attention to them, cocking his head to the side as if to ask is that all you got? He then finished tying the fabric around his wound and turned back to the three last survivors of the friend group.

            Seonghwa was just standing there in shock, unable to move. The gunshots still ringing in his ears. The sound of his friends falling to the ground dead replaying over and over in his mind. He’s unsure if he’ll ever forget the sound. He steals a quick glance towards Kayla, seeing the bullet hole in her head, and wondering if she made the same sound when she died. “I surrender.” He whispered, dropping the knife he was holding. Jongho and Des both whipped their heads in his direction, silently begging him not to give up now.

            But it was too late. Yeosang shot him and he fell to the floor. Des and Jongho looked at each other. They were on opposite sides of the room, she had a hand axe, he had a crowbar. It was as if they could hear what the other was thinking, and they came up with a plan right there on the spot. They nodded and moved together.

            Jongho came from the right, Des from the left. Yeosang looked between the two, watching as they both raised their weapons as they got closer to him. It was as if this moment was moving in slow motion. Looking right, Jongho was screaming as he raised the crowbar over his head, his steps getting faster. Looking left, Des was also screaming, raising the hand axe, getting ready for the attack. Yeosang only had a second to think. Turning one way and shooting with no hesitation. One person dropped down while the other’s weapon slammed down onto his head.

            Silence. And then the crowbar fell from Jongho’s hand. Des was a couple feet away, dead, the hand axe still in her hand. Yeosang was slumped on the ground, blood dripping from his head. “You killed them all.” Jongho said as the realization hit him. Everyone was dead. All his friends were dead. His girlfriend was dead. Besides the fucker that killed them, Jongho was the only one left. He was the only one that could keep their memories alive.

            “I did it for you. For us!” Yeosang exclaimed from the ground, slowly stumbling to his feet. “I didn’t want all of them to die, only a few of them. But everyone just had to be so fucking nosey. But it’s okay now. We can be together now. No Jia or Yuri to stop us.” Jongho stared at him in confusion.

            “What are you talking about, Yeosang?” He could see the hurt flash on Yeosang’s face for a quick second, before he started smiling again. He grabbed Jongho’s hands, but Jongho quickly pulled back.

            “Don’t you remember? You said you wanted to be with me but you didn’t want to break up with Yuri.” Jongho does not remember this. He barely remembers his time with Yeosang. The drunken hook ups he knew were mistakes, but for some reason he couldn’t quit. He doesn’t know how he kept ending up at Yeosang’s door, ringing the doorbell, kissing him as soon as he saw his face. Yuri waiting at home for him, but he couldn’t help himself.

            But it ate at him. Every time he was with Yuri, the guilt ate at him. When she would kiss him, when she would tell him she loved him, when they made love, the confession was on the tip of his tongue. He didn’t want to lose her, but he knew she deserved better. And he finally let it all out, tearfully telling Yuri about the secret nights he shared with Yeosang. And she forgave him. Asked if there was a way to save them. Asked if he’d be willing to give up alone time with Yeosang for her.

            “I never said that.” Jongho finally answered. He was working on his relationship with Yuri. Gave her everything and anything she wanted, trying to prove to her that he only wanted her. The feelings he had for Yeosang were all physical, it was lust at most. Jongho’s heart belonged to Yuri, and he tried for months to prove it to her, to get them back to the good place they were at before he went and fucked it all up.

            “Yes you did.” Yeosang’s voice changed. He was angrier now, Jongho could hear it. Through the tears that were running down Yeosang’s cheeks, he was angry. “You told me you loved me. That if you met me first, it’d be me and not her.” His voice changed again. Back to the desperate plea from earlier. Begging Jongho to remember the way he does. He can’t be the only one to remember the nights tangled up in his sheets.

            The way Jongho would brush the hair out of Yeosang’s eyes, telling him that his eyes were so pretty. Brushing his thumb over his birthmark, whispering about how sad it was that Jia had him cover it everyday, because he loves it. Jongho looked at him like he was the only person in the world, and it’s the only thing that kept Yeosang going all this time. Through all his hardships, he knew he would always have Jongho.

            “I did this so we could finally be together.” He cried. “Just us. We don’t have to hide our love anymore.” Jongho walked away, stopping only to pick something up off the ground. Yeosang followed him, grabbing his arm to stop him from leaving. “Jongho, please.” Jongho turned around, shoving the knife he picked up right into Yeosang’s stomach. Blood began to pour out of the wound. Yeosang’s mouth opened, but no sound came out, only more blood.

            Jongho pulled the knife out and Yeosang’s arms wrapped around his stomach, but he knew that holding the wound wasn’t going to help much this time. Jongho moved the knife, placing it over Yeosang’s heart. Yeosang pleaded, begged for his life, apologized for all the wrong he’s done. But it was too late. Jongho sunk the knife into his heart, officially killing him, and making Jongho the sole survivor. The knife fell from his hands as he looked down at Yeosang and said one final line. “I never loved you.”

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@mxnsxngie @maeleelee @hgema @itswaffleberry

[shiningwonderland]

Natsuki Shinomiya (Repeat)

Translator: Raz (Twitter: agnadance)

Proofreader: Nadie (Twitter: nmoniag)

Editor: Mae (Twitter: itoshikimaegirl)

QA: Rei: (Twitter: wolfe_raine)

February - Winter Day's Fine

Since February, Satsuki-kun has been the dominant personality more frequently than Natsuki-kun.

Satsuki Shinomiya: No! You need to connect that better…

Haruka Nanami: O-okay!

We're practicing the verse and pre-chorus, which we're planning to record tomorrow.

I'm going to play the piano and the viola will be…

Satsuki Shinomiya: Damn it… Think about my position of having to match your crappy performance.

Satsuki-kun will be playing the viola. He shares the same body as Natsuki-kun, so I don't find it strange that he also shares the ability to play–and extremely well too.

I'm astonished how skilled he is… I feel myself being drawn into his magnificent performance…

However, there are times he falters here and there, maybe because he's a different personality from Natsuki-kun…

Satsuki Shinomiya: … Should we call it quits here? You can't give it your all if it isn't Natsuki who's playing the viola, right?

Haruka Nanami: That's… not true. Satsuki-kun is just as skilled, and… I also like your sound.

Satsuki Shinomiya: If that's true, then stop playing so badly. We're recording the instrumentals tomorrow. Are you going to play like this tomorrow, too?

Haruka Nanami: I'm sorry… I'll do my best.

Satsuki Shinomiya: It's not about doing your best. You either make results at your final performance or you don't. He's the one who's going to sing, you know…

Haruka Nanami: … You're right.

We're going to use a recording of the instrumentals during the graduation audition.

There are people who make the instrumentals solely on the computer. Another method is to record professionals performing from the music sheet.

This time, I thought that we should do as much as we can as just the two of us…

We decided that Natsuki-kun will play the violin and the viola, and I will play the piano.

Satsuki Shinomiya: He's far more critical about his own performance than the people around him, and yet he's so soft on you.

Satsuki Shinomiya: He can only get across half of what he really wants to say.

Satsuki Shinomiya: He's an airhead and never listens to what other people say, marching to the beat of his own drum… and yet he's so sensitive and fragile.

Satsuki Shinomiya: He doesn't want to be rejected by you, so he holds back quite a bit. You haven't realized that yet?

Select the Phrase!

そんなこと・・・I see… (+10 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: You have a point… There were times I felt that he was holding back too much.

Satsuki Shinomiya: If so, then take care of him better. Read how he's feeling and act accordingly…

Satsuki Shinomiya: If you're not careful, he's never going to open his heart to you. This must be because of his trauma…

Satsuki Shinomiya: He's been betrayed over and over… No matter how much he wants to believe in people, he's unconsciously always on guard.

Satsuki Shinomiya: That's why he doesn’t want you to get hurt like him… He tries too hard to prove how much he loves someone.

Satsuki Shinomiya: He knows more than anyone else how difficult it is to have someone believe you…

Natsuki-kun… Is the reason why he's so kind and always hugs me because he doesn't want me to be sad…?

… Maybe I hesitated because I couldn't handle accepting his feelings.

Haruka Nanami: … Why are you telling me this?

Satsuki Shinomiya: Who knows… It was just a whim. Anyway, let's start practicing.

Haruka Nanami: Okay!

Satsuki-kun, he worries so much about Natsuki-kun.

I'm clueless, so I'm glad he cares enough to give me advice.

そう・・・だったんだ・・・Is that so… (+5 Love +0 Music)

Satsuki Shinomiya: Not many people can tell because he's a space case… and then they hurt him without realizing.

Haruka Nanami: What should I do…?

Satsuki Shinomiya: You should be able to figure it out if you pay close enough attention to him. Keep a look out for his subtle signs.

Satsuki Shinomiya: He's hopelessly lonely.

Satsuki-kun briefly closes his eyes mournfully, but then looks at me straight in the eyes.

Satsuki Shinomiya: Show him how you feel. Never leave his side… if you can't do that, don't go near him thoughtlessly.

Satsuki Shinomiya: If you approach him without resolve, you'll hurt him.

Natsuki-kun… There's a lot of things I don't realize because he's always smiling…

But… he must be so hurt inside…

Satsuki-kun doesn't want Natsuki-kun to be hurt.

That's why he warned me…

I want to respect his feelings–no, I will.

Haruka Nanami: Understood! I'll do my best!

I can't understand Natsuki-kun as well as Satsuki-kun, but I want to try.

I love Natsuki-kun… so I want to get closer to Satsuki-kun, even just a little.

I, too, want to protect Natsuki-kun.

Satsuki Shinomiya: Hmph, easier said than done.

Satsuki-kun sulks and turns his head away.

Satsuki Shinomiya: We chatted for too long… Time to practice.

Haruka Nanami: Roger!

Satsuki-kun really loves Natsuki-kun.

All right, I'll do my best!

すいません。I'm sorry. (+0 Love +0 Music)

Satsuki Shinomiya: Don't apologize. Instead, try to do better… You hurt Natsuki every time you apologize…

Satsuki Shinomiya: He always goes too far trying to prevent you from being sad, so smile as much as you can.

Satsuki Shinomiya: You don't need to be humble or hold back. Just be by his side and keep him calm.

Haruka Nanami: But…

Satsuki Shinomiya: It's fine, just smile. He gets mad at me every time I make you frown.

He places his hand on my head.

Satsuki-kun…

I do my best to grin.

Satsuki Shinomiya: That's good… You should always smile like that.

Satsuki-kun smiles.

Satsuki Shinomiya: … There's no time. Let's start practicing again.

Haruka Nanami: … Okay.

The day we record our instrumental has come.

We have the recordings for everything else, so once we complete today's recording, we'll have our instrumental ready for the graduation audition. 

Natsuki Shinomiya: Haru-chan, are you nervous?

Haruka Nanami: … Yes, just a bit…

Natsuki has been the dominant personality since this morning.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Then I'll put a charm on you to relieve your stress. Close your eyes.

Haruka Nanami: O-okay…

I close my eyes gently.

He kisses both of my eyelids.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Here you go. How do you feel?

Haruka Nanami: Umm… My heart's pounding.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Hehe, that's not because of stress, right?

Haruka Nanami: No, it's not.

Natsuki Shinomiya: If you ever get nervous from playing the piano, just close your eyes a little. I'm sure you'll recall this.

Natsuki Shinomiya: When you do, your heart will pound not from stress but because of your feelings for me.

He stretches out his arms and then gathers me into a tight embrace. 

Natsuki Shinomiya: Think only of me when you're performing… I'll always think of you when I play…

Natsuki Shinomiya: I'm sure the beating of our hearts will change to the rhythm of love.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Our feelings ride on the beat of our hearts, our deep love and powerful bond embedded even in digital sound waves. 

Natsuki Shinomiya: Then, I'll sing while listening to the sound we've woven–the song for the one person that I love…

Ryuya Hyuga: … Are you done being lovey-dovey? Sheesh, at least acknowledge the school rules just a little bit… But I know that Shinomiya won't listen to me at all…

Ryuya Hyuga: Airheads are really something… Whatever. We got a lot of people waiting, so hurry up and get started once you're ready.

Hyuga-sensei urges us with a tired look on his face.

Haruka Nanami: G-got it, I'm sorry.

Natsuki Shinomiya: All right… I'll begin.

Natsuki-kun lets go of me and grins.

Select the Phrase!

あ・・・ Ah… (+10 Love +0 Music)

Without thinking, I grab the hem of Natsuki-kun's uniform.

Natsuki Shinomiya: What's wrong, Haru-chan? Are you lonely?

Haruka Nanami: Umm… Even when we're apart, our hearts are one… That's all I want to say…

Natsuki Shinomiya: Thank you.

Natsuki-kun pets my head, then enters the booth.

はい、頑張ってください。Yes, do your best. (+0  Love +5 Music)

Natsuki Shinomiya: Yes, I'll do my best.

ここでずっと聴いています。I'll be listening. (+20 Love +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I don't want to miss a single note from you…

Natsuki Shinomiya: I see… I'll put in all my love, so much that I'll empty out my heart, so please… please accept all of it…

Haruka Nanami: … Okay.

Ryuya Hyuga: I would expect nothing less… He's so young, yet he can put professionals to shame… He's one to reckon with.

Natsuki-kun… He has improved so much…

But he's not just skilled… His sound is so warm.

His sound seeps to the bottom of my heart and soothes my nerves.

I need to do my best too…

We have finished up our recordings without any problems, so now we have nearly everything in order. The next thing to do is the mixdown.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Ugh…

Soon after leaving the recording room, Natsuki-kun suddenly crouches down and clutches his chest.

Haruka Nanami: Natsuki-kun… What's wrong? Are you okay?

Lately, he has been switching personalities frequently, and the arduous practice and stress over the recording must've taken a toll on him…

Something drops from Natsuki-kun's pocket.

Haruka Nanami: A… pocket watch?

I reach out towards it without thinking…

Satsuki Shinomiya: Don't… touch that…

Haruka Nanami: Satsuki-kun…?

Satsuki-kun glares at me and reaches for the pocket watch.

Satsuki Shinomiya: … It doesn't look broken…

He takes a deep breath and slowly gets to his feet.

Satsuki Shinomiya: He pushed himself too much…

Haruka Nanami: Umm… how's Natsuki-kun…?

Select the Phrase!

大丈夫なんですか？Is he okay? (+10  Love +0 Music)

Satsuki Shinomiya: For now… Are you worried about him?

Haruka Nanami: … Yes.

I look down and Satsuki-kun lightly pats me on the head.

Satsuki Shinomiya: Don't make that face. You'll make Natsuki sad. He's fine.

Satsuki Shinomiya: I… I'm set on protecting him.

どうしたんですか？What happened to him? (+5  Love +0 Music)

Satsuki Shinomiya: Do you want to know?

Haruka Nanami: Yes, I'm worried about him…

Satsuki Shinomiya: I see…

戻ってきますか？ Will he come back?  (+0  Love +0 Music)

Satsuki Shinomiya: You're always like this… Believe in him a little more.

Haruka Nanami: Ah…

Satsuki Shinomiya: Are you worried about him?

Haruka Nanami: Yes. Is Natsuki-kun okay…?

Satsuki Shinomiya: For now…

Satsuki Shinomiya: I'm his shadow… I've taken on all the burden for him this entire time so he wouldn't experience it…

Satsuki Shinomiya: Ever since that day… But now, we're aware of each other. This is the equivalent to his heart being split into two.

Satsuki Shinomiya: On top of that, switching takes a heavy toll on him. He's so unstable that even the slightest emotional arousal can cause us to change places.

Satsuki Shinomiya: Putting his entire soul into his performance is only going to exhaust it.

Satsuki Shinomiya: He's aware of this and yet he still doesn't hold back. Do you understand why?

Haruka Nanami: …

Satsuki Shinomiya: It's because of you.

Haruka Nanami: Because of… me?

Satsuki Shinomiya: He's so weak… and is so quick to run away…

Satsuki Shinomiya: And yet he pushes himself for you. He overworks himself all for… you…

Haruka Nanami: …

Satsuki Shinomiya: We're… probably at our limit…

His voice trails off, making a mournful smile.

For the next three days, neither Natsuki-kun nor Satsuki-kun come to school.

After school, I visit  Natsuki-kun's room.

According to Syo-kun, Natsuki-kun fainted three days ago and hasn't opened his eyes ever since…

Could it be he really… pushed himself too hard?

Haruka Nanami: Natsuki… kun…

I call his name but he doesn't respond.

Eyes closed, he just breathes in and out…

Haruka Nanami: Natsuki-kun… I see that you pushed yourself too much. I'm so sorry that I didn't realize.

I squeeze Natsuki-kun's hand as he sleeps and kiss his fingers.

I want to express my feelings as gently as the way he expresses his… I love you so much…

Natsuki Shinomiya: Huh? Haru-chan…

Haruka Nanami: Natsuki-kun!

Natsuki-kun is awake! I'm so glad! I'm so happy that tears start clouding my vision.

Natsuki Shinomiya: I want to hug you…

Haruka Nanami: Huh? But…

Natsuki-kun has weakened so much that he can't sit up.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Come here… to where I can reach you…

Haruka Nanami: … Okay.

When I lie down next to him, he hugs me like I'm a body pillow.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Thank you…

He peacefully closes his eyes.

Haruka Nanami: …

I hear light snoring.

He seems to be between a state of being awake and asleep, but I can tell he's still Natsuki-kun.

I feel relieved that I was able to meet him and talk with him even just a little bit.

His breath lightly tickles my ear. I finally start realizing the situation I'm in and feel my heart starting to pound.

I'm being hugged by Natsuki-kun in his bed…

…

Natsuki Shinomiya: … Haru-chan, don't leave me…

He’s talking in his sleep—his voice sounds so faint, like he's about to cry.

Haruka Nanami: I won't go anywhere. I'm here…

Natsuki-kun and Satsuki-kun are two halves of one heart.

Their awareness of each other's existence is burdening their mental state, weakening Natsuki-kun this much.

What should I do…? Is there anything I can do?

Haruka Nanami: … Huh? When did I fall asleep…?

Satsuki Shinomiya: Finally awake?

Satsuki-kun's face is right in front of mine.

Haruka Nanami: !!!

Satsuki Shinomiya: You're bolder than I thought. Are you trying to seduce me? Your cleavage is exposed.

I shake my head furiously, gripping my shirt to hide my chest.

Satsuki Shinomiya: … I'm joking. Don't take me so seriously, Pipsqueak.

He pokes my forehead.

Haruka Nanami: …

Without saying a word, I stand up from the bed.

Satsuki Shinomiya: … You don't have anything to say to me?

Satsuki-kun grabs my arm and makes me sit back on the bed.

Haruka Nanami: … I guess I do want to ask something…

Satsuki Shinomiya: I see. I thought that you would say, "Please disappear for Natsuki's sake."

Haruka Nanami: Why would I…

Satsuki Shinomiya: I'm the one who has caused this situation. I say I want to protect him, and yet I'm putting him in danger.

Satsuki Shinomiya: And yet… I can't disappear. If I do that, who's going to protect him?

Without hesitation, Satsuki-kun closes in on me and pushes me down onto the bed.

He looks at me forlornly.

This is different from the last time he pushed me down. At that time, I felt immense hatred and rejection.

Now… This feels like he's pleading…

Satsuki Shinomiya: You're just a stranger. You'll betray Natsuki one day…

He says that, but his eyes tell me that he wants to be proven wrong.

Haruka Nanami: No, I won't!

I profusely object. That's the absolute truth, despite what anyone says.

I love Natsuki-kun, I would never betray him. I can say that with confidence.

Satsuki Shinomiya: How can you be so sure? Are you saying that your love is eternal? Do you have any proof that you will still love him ten, twenty years from now?

Haruka Nanami: …

All I know are the feelings I have right now. I don't have any proof of that.

How can I express these feelings?

Satsuki Shinomiya: He was betrayed by someone he loved very much when he was a child. 

He loosens his grip on my shoulders and sits down on the bed.

Haruka Nanami: Huh…?

I get up and sit next to him.

Satsuki Shinomiya: You already know that he has played the violin since he was little, right?

Haruka Nanami: Yes, I do.

Satsuki Shinomiya: The reason why he was able to continue playing the violin even though he has been sensitive ever since he was a child was because of that woman…

Satsuki-kun looks far away, his eyes filled with sadness.

Satsuki Shinomiya: She was a violin teacher. She was somewhat withdrawn, but positive and bright. She always complimented Natsuki.

Satsuki Shinomiya: Every time Natsuki would get sad, she would say, "I love your sound, Nacchan. You should be proud of yourself."

Satsuki Shinomiya: After some time, she changed the way she called him from Nacchan to Natsuki-kun… and then that one summer day…

Satsuki Shinomiya: Natsuki played a song for her that he made himself. "I'll play this just for you. Don't tell anyone about it."

Satsuki Shinomiya: Despite that, she took his song, presented it as her own and gained recognition through it.

He punches the bed, making a soft thump.

Satsuki Shinomiya: Natsuki asked her pitifully, "Why did you do this?"

Satsuki Shinomiya: She replied through her tears, "I'm sorry, but I didn't want it to end this way" and left him.

Haruka Nanami: …

I wonder how it felt to be betrayed by the one he loved… and be so hurt…

Natsuki-kun…

Satsuki Shinomiya: Natsuki didn't blame her at all, nor did he tell anyone else, but his heart was deeply hurt.

Satsuki Shinomiya: Then, I was born.

Satsuki-kun takes out his pocket watch and shows me the inside of the lid.

The name "Natsuki" was engraved in it, and then to the side, "Satsuki" was scrawled on it with childlike handwriting.

Satsuki Shinomiya: He received this pocket watch from the music class he attended when he won his first reward at a violin competition.

Satsuki Shinomiya: That woman gave it to him. He treasured it so much, but it stopped on that fateful day.

Satsuki Shinomiya: My name, "Satsuki," is the name of the song that woman stole from him.

Satsuki Shinomiya: The first time he went to the beach in the south, he kept making a sand castle and stayed there until nightfall.

Satsuki Shinomiya: The full moon lighting up the night sky and the sand castle must've looked so beautiful that they left a deep impression on young Natsuki.

He grins with a nostalgic look on his face.

Satsuki Shinomiya: But the next morning, his sand castle was swept away by the waves and disappeared without a trace.

Satsuki Shinomiya: The melancholy and transience of something that has been built up vanishes in an instant, as well as the beauty of its disappearance… That's what he put into that song.

Satsuki Shinomiya: The time of his precious watch stopped, and he erased that woman's existence from his heart. In exchange, I was born.

Satsuki Shinomiya: I appear when he is mentally burdened. I protect him from harm.

Satsuki Shinomiya: The reason why I appear whenever he removes his glasses is because his heart becomes unstable from his blurry vision.

Satsuki Shinomiya: He's so sensitive that he'll switch even from something like that.

Satsuki Shinomiya: I have to protect him…

He balls up his hands into fists.

Haruka Nanami: … I'll protect Natsuki-kun too.

Satsuki Shinomiya: You…?

Satsuki-kun pierces me with his gaze.

Haruka Nanami: That's right.

Satsuki Shinomiya: … Do you want to know what I thought of you when I first saw you?

Haruka Nanami: … No…

Satsuki Shinomiya: You resemble her.

Satsuki-kun scowls in anguish.

Haruka Nanami: What…?

Satsuki Shinomiya: At first, you seem weak and fleeting, but deep down, you're strong. You would do anything to achieve your dream.

Satsuki Shinomiya: I thought you were just like that woman. That's why I wanted you to get away from Natsuki. I didn't want him to be hurt any more than he already had.

Satsuki Shinomiya: Why is he being fooled by another woman that's just like her? I was so resentful. However… maybe I was the one who was wrong…

He breathes a dry laugh and smiles at me warmly.

Haruka Nanami: Huh…?

He reaches out and caresses my cheek.

Satsuki Shinomiya: You're different from her… Natsuki must've understood that about you.

Satsuki Shinomiya: He's too sensitive. He gets hurt from such little things, but he never sheds a tear. He keeps smiling…

Satsuki Shinomiya: He's more emotional than anyone… but he doesn't know how to express that normally. Music is the only way he can express his emotions.

Satsuki Shinomiya: And yet he is expected to express more than just his emotions. I was born to support him when he was about to break.

Satsuki Shinomiya: I have taken on all of his negative emotions, and yet…

Satsuki Shinomiya: When he met you, he changed… No, he tried to change. Despite being a weakling, he tried so hard to change.

Satsuki Shinomiya: Can you believe that Natsuki…? Makes me laugh...

Tears well up in his eyes as he speaks.

He should be happy that Natsuki-kun is becoming stronger, but he must be lonely that Natsuki-kun is drifting further away from him.

I understand that feeling…

Haruka Nanami: Satsuki-kun…

I squeezes Satsuki-kun's hand.

Satsuki Shinomiya: What are you doing…? I'm not Natsuki. You should do this for him instead of me.

Haruka Nanami: I… love Natsuki-kun. I'll protect him no matter what… and I love you, too.

Satsuki Shinomiya: Me?

Satsuki-kun widens his eyes in shock.

Haruka Nanami: You're also Natsuki-kun, after all. Right, Satsuki-kun?

Satsuki Shinomiya: I'm… also Natsuki…?

While still in shock, Satsuki-kun thinks for a moment and starts speaking again.

Satsuki Shinomiya: … Maybe I can leave him to you… I'll give Natsuki back.

Haruka Nanami: … But, what about you, Satsuki-kun…?

Satsuki Shinomiya: I'm fine as long as he's happy. That's all I need…

Haruka Nanami: …

Satsuki-kun looks at me with conviction.

I am lost for words.

Satsuki Shinomiya: I'm sorry for making you deal with me.

Haruka Nanami: No… it's fine.

Satsuki Shinomiya: I'm Satsuki… I'm just a fleeting existence that will be washed away in an instant once the waves come.

Satsuki Shinomiya: I knew that I'd disappear one day.

He clenches his teeth and closes his eyes forlornly.

Haruka Nanami: Satsuki… kun…

Satsuki Shinomiya: Even so, maybe I wanted to keep existing until the end…

Satsuki Shinomiya: I'm Natsuki’s shadow. I exist just for him. That's why I hated you.

Satsuki Shinomiya: I felt like you were taking Natsuki away from me… as if I was going to lose my reason for being…

Haruka Nanami: That's not true…

I open my mouth, but Satsuki-kun grabs my arm and smiles softly.

Satsuki Shinomiya: But before I knew it, I was always watching you. You have endless faith in others, you’re honest, and you’re too nice for your own good. You always seemed so vulnerable.

Satsuki Shinomiya: I just couldn't hold back from trying to protect you… I… must've been drawn to you.

Haruka Nanami: Huh…?

Satsuki Shinomiya: … It's nothing. Forget about it… Even if I were to wish for it, it would never come true…

Satsuki Shinomiya: More importantly, always protect him… protect Natsuki.

Select the Phrase!

ええ、必ず。Yes, absolutely. (+10  Love +10 Music)

Satsuki Shinomiya: Absolutely? That's a bold statement, but I'm relieved to hear that.

Satsuki Shinomiya: I'm glad to have managed to talk to you one last time.

守ります、あなたとともに。Yes, and I'll protect you, too. (+20  Love +5 Music)

Satsuki Shinomiya: And me…?

Haruka Nanami: I want to protect you, too. You won't disappear, you'll just become one with Natsuki-kun…

Satsuki Shinomiya: Even now, you still have your head stuck in the clouds… but I'm glad I was able to see you in the end.

・・・はい。... Yes. (+10  Love +0 Music)

Satsuki Shinomiya: I see… that's good to hear. I don't have any regrets.

Satsuki Shinomiya: It's time… I'm glad to have seen you one last time.

Satsuki-kun embraces me tightly.

Haruka Nanami: Satsuki… kun?

Satsuki Shinomiya: … Maybe all I've wanted to do is to hold you like this, claiming that this is all for his sake.

Satsuki Shinomiya: I… can't blame Natsuki. Before I realized... I fell for you too…

He looks at me in the eyes and gently kisses my forehead.

He embraces me more tightly.

Haruka Nanami: Satsuki… kun. My… arms hurt…

Satsuki Shinomiya: I don't want to disappear… Haruka… I've actually always wanted to be with you…

Even though he's so close to me, his voice is so faint that I can barely hear him.

Satsuki Shinomiya: … Can you be mine for just this moment?

Satsuki Shinomiya: … I want to keep you to myself, even for a short time…

He buries his face in my shoulder. I hear his breathing next to my ear, as if he's quietly trying to hold back his feelings.

It's as if he's communicating to me with no words.

Satsuki Shinomiya: Haruka… don't forget… that I existed…

This is the first and last honest display of emotion from this strong man. 

No, he's not as strong as he seems. Satsuki-kun is scared.

He's scared that he'll disappear without a trace. That is the equivalent to death… It's nothingness.

Select the Phrase!

・・・はい。Yes. (+10  Love +10 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I'll always remember you. Even if Natsuki-kun forgets, I never will…

絶対に忘れません。I will always remember you. (+10  Love +5 Music)

I wrap my arms around Satsuki-kun and hold him tightly.

忘れられるはずないです。I could never forget you. (+20  Love +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: How could I ever forget a person as wonderful as you…

Haruka Nanami: I could never forget you… That's impossible. So please, you can rest assured.

I speak to him as I hold back tears. Satsuki-kun embraces me again.

Satsuki Shinomiya: … Thank you…

Satsuki-kun loosens his grip. He goes limp and falls back onto the bed.

Haruka Nanami: Satsuki-kun!

He's gone…

He thought of Natsuki-kun until the very end, leaving him to me.

Haruka Nanami: Satsuki… kun…

I hug Satsuki-kun's body and quietly shed tears.

Mini Game

Ringo Tsukimiya: Haa, time flies! The entrance ceremony for this term feels like it was yesterday, but now it's almost graduation…

Ringo Tsukimiya: One year is so short. We all grow so close, and yet we'll part so soon.

Ringo Tsukimiya: But if you manage to get into Shining Agency, you'll be my kouhai! I want everyone to do their best to get hired!

Ringo Tsukimiya: You have to polish your song even more to be able to get a good score on your graduation audition.

Ringo Tsukimiya: I'll do my best to give you advice, so let me hear what you have so far.

Ringo Tsukimiya: So, are you ready? Then let's begin! 

S RANK

Natsuki Shinomiya: If we were to share our loneliness and sorrow between the two of us and put them into the same beat, would we melt together once more?

Haruka Nanami: Yes… I want us to share as much as we can with each other.

Chapter End

[dots3a]

I am going to die soon of kidney failure and long covid complications.

I just want to state for the record that I would have lived decades longer if not for Benjamin Thomas Sterrett. He is a predator.

His first romantic relationship was when he moved out of state and decided to lie to someone from his home town about his age so that they'd think it was appropriate to do sexual things with him in role play online, specifically on mudd.

She only found out the truth because they moved back into town. He has always pursued women who are masculine in some way, and he always chooses a woman with a neurodevelopmental disorder.

While we together he financially and emotionally abused me. I begged him, my therapist and my psychiatrist tried to convince him, to put me in in-patient psychiatric care because I could not function. Instead he called his sister whom I barely know who drove two hours distance to air on the back porch with me pouring me shots of liquor while talking about her own emotional problems.

Alcohol makes my deformed kidney experience extreme pain. It was his solution for my insomnia. I couldn't figure out why for the duration of our relationship I was having PTSD related night terrors about what happened to me when I was 11, 12, and 13. Then I had this pain inside of me and I thought it had to do with my kidney problems. I could barely walk. I went to the doctor and after several they finally looked inside my vagina where I had an inconceivably large hematoma. My doctor drained it of old blood and asked me if I had been raped. I couldn't even remember the last time we had had sex. He had been feeding me alcohol to "help" with my insomnia and then raping me in my sleep while I dreamt about being raped as a prepubescent child.

When I refused to drink alcohol after that he and our neighbor went on a six month long campaign to convince me to smoke weed. It did help, it also helped with my daily autistic meltdowns (from having to act like a neurotypical single mother when I am severely disabled and their father/my partner lived with us). So he would wait until all of it was gone and then get more days later, making sure I spent days melting down and not sleeping in between relief I had to rely on him for.

Finally my psychiatric team and I figured out that I am autistic. Ben acted like the information was earth shattering. He said all the right things. But after six months, nothing had changed. Everything was still entirely dependent on me, an autistic person with high support needs and deformed internal organs causing constant pain. I sat him down one day and I said I needed for him to start acting like I was autistic. He said,

"It sounds like you want me to leave."

I said,

"No, if you leave to me that would be the end our of our marriage and I don't want that."

He left. He moved half an hour away into a one bedroom apartment even though he made well over six figures, and we have three children. He was emotionally abusive openly in ways I could spot easily now. I would say things like "I need to know you know I can do this without you." And he would say "but I don't know that mae." Again, he is the one who left and not only did he leave he left to a place where the kids could not stay comfortably, an hours drive there and back, he left a high support needs physically disabled autistic person to take care of three kids 10 and under by themselves and then went onto the internet or anywhere anyone who knew us both went to cry and complain about how sad he was about his marriage ending.

Every other day, a different woman would message me to ask me why I was doing this to Ben. Every single one was skeptical at the idea that he was the one who left. I am autistic and I was having to have this conversation on a regular basis because of the lies Ben was telling everyone.

Two years later, Ben finally managed to get into a sexual relationship with someone five years younger than him who was living with their long term partner of many years who thought they were monogamous. I got to find out because they would have sex in that one bedroom apartment while the kids were all there. They would come home talking about how they saw Hanna naked or they asked their dad if he was dating Hanna but they're just good friends who love each other because Hanna has a boyfriend.

Six months after they started dating one night at nine, Ben told the kids he was going to take out the trash. He left the apartment with no trash. And hour later my kids were texting me because he had been gone for an hour and wasn't answering their calls or text. At 10:30 at night I got to his apartment to find all three of my kids terrified and him no where to be seen. It's okay though Hanna yelled at me in court that she knew he was "there" because she "was with him."

For a month, the kids would not go to his apartment because they were afraid he'd leave them again. Eventually I let them go back until in December my middle child let me know that every time Hanna called Dad, a naked picture of her came up on the child's iPad. Because Ben and Hanna think it is okay to set naked photos of people as their caller ID photo when there are children around (or at work I guess, that's fine too.)

Our middle child during this time period before disclosing why, had begun to self harm. I had them in therapy which is where they disclosed about the naked pictures and the beginning of self harm. I stopped forcing the kids to go over there at this point. For six months every time they were asked by their father to come over they told they did not want to go. So Ben and Hanna decided to take us to court.

We told the court about the abandonment of the children, and the exposure to homemade pornography. That earned them 50/50 custody because that sister who came to sit on my back porch and pour alcohol down my throat came to testify that she had "witnessed" my being suicidal and that suicidal people "aren't safe around children." She was along with her sister, btw, molested by her father before puberty, a fact they disclosed to Ben when I was pregnant. Ben's response was to still insist that our female children visit with and be around his pedophile father. He and his friends shamed me and rolled their eyes at me for not wanting him around the kids and refusing to let the kids be alone with him, a man who had molested his own children.

In court, we agreed to not sell the house the children and I were still living in until the youngest turned 18. One year later, our youngest is 10 and he has evicted us from our home so that he can sell it. He is telling everyone he knows it is because it is "unsafe for the children" to live there. The house was inspected during the court proceedings and found to be safe and clean. He has told the children it is because he has 65k in tax debt because he committed fraud. He also bought two of them apple laptops for Christmas, so I don't believe money is the reason. He just wants to harm me. Before we went to court, he was paying me 400 dollars for child support monthly. During court he made sure he wouldn't have to pay for all three (the oldest is biologically not his, met him at 1.5 and calls him dad and has a dead beat bio dad who pays no support.) When he began talking about selling the house it was made clear to him that I was not physically healthy enough to survive the move. I had been pissing and shitting blood since we moved. I have no access to medical care and if I make it to February (it is late December) it will be a shock.

This post does not get into the details of his emotional abuse or the state of the house when he lived here or the apartment when the kids had to be over there (because they have a disabled mother).

I am dying because Benjamin Thomas Sterrett of Charlotte, NC, married to Johanna Blackwell Sterrett, is an unrelenting abuser.