#and love how they balanced it out by adding another character who's a good guy and also gay

[kookies2000]

Just saw a spoiler clip of Velvet and Veneer singing together. And let me just say, I hope Veneer isn't redeemed and stays a villain all the way with Velvet. I'm all for redemption, but I just adore his gay diva villain vibe. I usually don't like stereotyping queer people as villains, but considering Floyd is also gay, it balances out. And I'm all for sibling love. Gotta stick with his sister all the way through, no matter how south their plan goes. Siblings stick together always. So I hope he isn't redeemed. Nothing against those who want a redemption, I can see it. I just prefer it if he stuck with his sister through it all and not leave her. Siblings stick together no matter what.

[collectivecloseness]

Beautiful Swan

Eddie Munson x reader

(Summary: When Hellfire starts a fun little game of ‘what animal does everyone look like?’ your self-esteem plummets to the floor. But your best friend and crush, Eddie, can tell. And he’s there to not only defend you, but make sure he’s around to help pick you back up <3. Tw: negative body image. Reuploaded from my ao3. 9.4K)

You’d finally finished today’s session. Eddie decided the cliffhanger he’d brought up was the best place to leave it, the worst for you and the rest of Hellfire unfortunately. But that meant you guys had a few minutes where you could all just chat and hang out.

Eddie waddled up to you, nudging his shoulder against your own to get your attention, and when you looked to him, all he did was smile at you. You chuckled smally back, rubbing your shoulder against his playfully too.

You loved the fact that when Eddie enrolled you in his campaign, he pulled out the seat right next to his for you, on your very first day. Pushing it in with a genuinely charming smile as you sat, and a short bow of his head, as you thanked him. Gareth seemed to get a pencil thrown at his head right after that, although you were too busy starting at Eddie’s pretty smile he was giving just to you. So you guess he’s the one who lost his chair.

It wasn’t just his genuine and effortless charm that made you fall in love with Eddie Munson though, even before he was your best friend, although that certainly added to it. From the moment you saw Eddie, you were completely enamoured. Not just romantically, but he had such an aura around him it just made you want to be someone close to him till the end of time. You’d love, more than anything, for Eddie to ask you out. On a proper date, not just asking his friend to chill at the arcade or smoke weed in his empty trailer. Although you still enjoyed every interaction with him. Him asking you to do those as his girlfriend would be a great day! But it wasn’t going to happen.

Even though Eddie didn’t see much about himself, you tried to talk him up, as much as you could, even if sometimes it fell into the not completely platonic category, you would tell him, because he deserved to know every good thing about himself. You truly saw how amazing Eddie was. And while you two were best friends... you feared there was no way in hell, he would ever even consider thinking about you like that.

Not that you’d hold that against him! Of course not! He didn’t owe you anything, he was perfectly fine being attracted to who he was attracted to. But you sometimes just wished, you looked a little less like yourself, because now and again your gut just whispered to you all the parts of your body that made you unlovable to another person. Especially someone you admired so much, like Eddie Munson.

Eddie nudged you with his hip this time. And a laugh seeped from his bitten smirk as you shoved his arm with your hand, easily regaining his balance but using your shoulders to do so. You giggled back, offering your help by steadying his own shoulders, and letting go once he was on his feet. Eddie however, did not let go of your eyes. Still grinning, his body turned to give you his full attention. “How was today’s session princess?” His hand coyly flipped half over his grin, holding his elbow, like he was rocked with anticipation for your answer.

Your character wasn’t even royalty. And you refused to ever play the damsel in distress role, in a group filled with only boys. But Eddie still called you that pet name. And it made you smitten every damn single time. You at least presumed, it was a dnd reference.

“Was I an... adequate dungeon master?” He leant closer to you but didn’t whisper it. You sucked your lips in even though you made it clear you were smiling, just trying not to giggle, with the way Eddie made you feel. “Well... adequate may be a grand understatement, my noble dungeon master.”

Eddie’s fist skyrocketed to his chest, eyes closed as he let out a grateful sound. “You’re too kind sweet princess! For I surely would’ve been strewn in twain, if you thought any less of me.”

Eddie never gave up the silly voices, and he only peeked open one eye to see if you were amused, teeth gleaming in glee as he saw your cheeks raise as you laughed. He winked that open eye at you, before dropping his hands to his sides.

You went to swat at his chest teasingly again, but Eddie easily brushed away your hand with his own, smirking at his easy victory over you. His smirk soon transitioned into a smile, and his lips opened as if to say something else. Until Mike spoke up loudly.

“This is boring! Let’s play a game.”

Eddie didn’t even take his eyes off you before dramatically rolling them. You giggled, hiding it in your hand, but at the sound Eddie’s slumped shoulders bounced right back up, and he beamed at you proudly.

“Aw. Do the babies all need to play games to stay happy?” Gareth teased, flicking Mike’s forehead, who then bat at the band members hand like an angry cat.

“Dude shut up. You’re making us look like babies!” Dustin smally whacked Mike, Lucas agreeing. You laughed a little into Eddie, who’s shoulder was still close to yours and not going anywhere. The poor freshmen did still have to fight a little bit to get taken seriously sometimes. Although no one would debate that Eddie held the most power in this room.

“Let’s say what animal everyone looks like!” Jeff smoothly input, pivoting immediately around to his friend. “Gareth is naked mole rat.”

“A WHAT?!” All of the boys erupted into laughter, expect for Gareth who was hitting Jeff with a book. Even Eddie’s chorus rang out behind you and you loved that sound. But oh God.

A cold slimy feeling ran down your throat and seemed to climb up your spine in canon. This game would not be for you. You know you struggle with self-esteem issues, you realise that. Sometimes you felt bad even being in Eddie’s Hellfire logo shirt. It could feel too skin tight and suffocating, nothing to do with Eddie’s printing, but your own nauseating feeling like you somehow didn’t deserve to be wearing it.

You would really prefer if you guys could’ve just kept talking instead. If you could be chatting with Eddie right now, instead of standing here with literal goosebumps on your skin from the threat of this conversation. Would there be anyway you could get out of being picked at this that wouldn’t look odd? You weren’t sure.

Eddie crossed his arms, biting back a smile as he looked at his young warriors, Lucas energetically shaking Jeff and Mike who stood beside him. “Who should we do next?”

God you hoped they didn’t pick you. You knew Eddie wouldn’t be cruel, you knew he was a very empathetic guy, who from his own experiences, knew when words could hurt more than most. You loved that about him, and he loved that you could actually see how kind he could be, and not just because he had such kind eyes. Some of the things he told you in private, only you, were things only a genuinely emotionally intelligent person would know. And even though the other guys were your friends too, you dreaded the thought of them all staring at you and judging an animal from that. ...What would they even pick?

‘A slug.’ Is what popped into your mind. But you shudder, hating yourself for thinking that way. And hating yourself because you almost believe that is an animal you could resemble. It’s stupid. You have to clear the thought away immediately, focus on something, Eddie’s smile at liking this new game, just so you didn’t actually think hard about what you could argue might’ve been an intrusive thought. If you think too hard on it, you’ll bring yourself down and you can’t do that around the others, it’ll just bring them down too.

“Dustin... Dustin...” Mike pondered, now realising he got to make fun of his best friends too.

“Oh shit. Yeah, Dustin...?” Lucas piped up, swivelling more to his side as they both, all of you, stared down your cap wearing friend.

Mike continued. “Hmm... Dustin.”

“You guys better be careful.” Dustin warned, holding up a karate chop hand to show he was serious, making you and Eddie giggle into each other.

Into each other! Your giggles shifted your bodies about until Eddie’s shoulder was leaning against yours. And he stayed in that position! Normally you wouldn’t be this excited because you were physically close as friends, it wasn’t unusual, but when your heart’s already going, everything seemed bigger. You tried desperately not to move, self conscious about your own breathing now, was it rubbing Eddie the wrong way, was it loud? Nasally? And oh my god this is an uncomfy position. Did you look unnatural positioned like this? Like you just wanna touch Eddie? Which is ridiculous because you touch him all the time! You literally hugged this morning. And Eddie held your high five after he’d graced you with one, swinging your hands down and wrapping it in his own as he continued his description of the, courtesy of you, slain goblin. Swinging your hand for a few seconds so it was enough to be causal, not enough for someone to call anyone out on, but enough to be long enough to make you question. And have something to giggle over in bed that night when you thought about it.

Mike and Lucas just laughed at Dustin’s display, before the former decided. “An ostrich.”

It seemed to not be anything Dustin was expecting at least, if his whole body leaning back was enough to tell. “An ostrich? Why the shit?”

“I don’t know” Mike fake stroked his chin, Lucas following in suit as all the members now tried to see the relation in the curly haired boy. “It’s something to do with the eyes. Too beady, too... untrustworthy.”

Dustin scoffed. And there was silence, only for a few seconds in the club room, which was still rare. But everyone was busy contemplating Dustin. Until Gareth spoke calmly. “Jeff’s a blobfish.”

“What the hell is a blobfish?!” Jeff double taked, looking at his best friend incredulously.

“The ugliest animal in the world.” Everyone snickered. “We can probably find a pic of it in the library, if you’re okay breaking into the scary adults only section.”

You were part of the ensemble of laughs everyone gave, including Jeff’s cheerfully fake one before he tackled Gareth, noogieing him hard as the other boy cackled in his grip. You were glad everyone could joke around as friends like this. At first the guys were all a little nicer to you. The freshmen of the group were clearly already friends, as were Gareth and Jeff, but Eddie, even being friends with all of them, accepted you into his close circle almost immediately. You were glad when the guys realised they could just treat you like their other friends, they didn’t need to coddle you just because you were a girl. Although you were a little nervous about the rough housing around this topic.

Sure you could take some light teasing, you weren’t a baby, and you hazed the guys right back, but you had a feeling whichever animal they all said looked like you, is something that’s going to be spiralling into the back of your mind quickly. And you were a bit nervous for any disatourous consequences that could come of that.

The two band members were getting a little rougher, still laughing away, but knocking into the table now. The freshmen all eagerly cheering them on. And even though the session was over, the pieces were about to be put away from their strategic positions on the map, Eddie still raised his hand as he watched his beloved hand painted figures topple.

“Hey hey HEY!” Eddie called out, his hand spread out and everyone, you included, falling into silence under your leader, a smile on his face that got you all invested in whatever wise words he’d say. “I’m the dungeon master here!” Eddie threw both his arms wide open dramatically now, smiling fiercely at his little group. “Have you all forgotten who’s God when you’re wearing those shirts?” He scoffed at the guys who were settling down, smiling to you as you watched them all fall in line, his hair bouncing as he rolled his eyes with his whole head. It made you smile. “I’ll decide who’s what!”

Eddie dropped his arms once you all were grinning, eagerly waiting for him to cast his opinions. And firstly, Eddie turned on his heel to you. Both his feet plopped in place firmly, hands swinging behind his back as he hummed to your self, looking you up and down.

Now your heart was truly pounding. You hid the worry on your face easily, just smiling back with such a nice look that it almost was daring him to be mean to someone so loveable, and loyal in your group.

Finally Eddie resigned, with a hand extending to yours, smiling with heart as he finally got the animal he was searching for. “For y/n... a swan.”

Now that hadn’t been what you were expecting. You could feel your head flinch back from the unexpected declaration. For a moment you tried to decipher if there was anything physically about you that was truly swan like that surpassed all the, well, you. But coming up with a blank for that, you felt your heart spike in the good way you’d only felt around Eddie in recent years. A genuine smile crept onto your features and this time you didn’t hold it back.

You and Eddie were still looking right at each other, and he grinned as he saw you spark up at the name. But before you could ask, in a voice you dreadfully knew would be smaller and higher pitched than your usual but you for once didn’t care about, Mike popped up with a question of his own to your dm.

“Soooo, is that because of the ugly duckling thing, orrrr?..”

The rest of the club burst into laughter, Mike more than anyone, looking to you with pride at his jab. You guys did tease each other quite a lot, it helped solidify a lot of friendships early on. The only one who didn’t laugh was Eddie.

You’d laughed at their joke. Not in a large way, but you pointed your finger and stretched out as if to hit their shoulders as they teased, but you laughed along with your friends in their game. Even though as soon as the joke left Mike’s mouth, and the laughter started up, you felt a stabbing pain, starting from your heart, wreaking havoc all over your body. In your life you’d gotten used to laughing after a while, you knew it was easier for everyone else. And it was easier for you if you just played along and didn’t make them uncomfortable. ’Ugly duckling...’ you thought, ’couldn’t have picked better myself. My friends clearly know me so well.’ A glum cloud was moving over you.

Eddie wasn’t too thrilled though. “Hey knock that shit off.” He growled warningly at Mike, who only raised in hands in fake surrender before bringing them to his knees to laugh again. Eddie telling them off almost made it funnier to them. Well, his reactions did really.

With Eddie’s eyes on Mike and Lucas, Gareth raised his hand behind Eddie’s back quickly “Have you turned into the pretty swan yet?”

He yelped and ran as Eddie span around to whack upside his head, hiding behind Jeff with a playfully startled look on his face. Like a dog wanting to play chase.

You didn’t answer his question, and you didn’t even have to laugh as everyone’s attention was on the scene Gareth was making with Eddie. It allowed you to just sink into the background, wishing the shadowy room, a perfect set up by Eddie, the auteur of Hellfire Club, would swallow you whole so you didn’t have to grin till your cheeks hurt, and hide the redness you knew would eventually stain your eyes.

“No I meant swan! Just swan!” Eddie whipped his explanation to the room, frustrated everyone was making such a big deal about what was supposed to be his compliment to you, twisting his words like everyone else in town did. Except this time it made his heart hammer like it hadn’t since he’d accepted the fact nearly everyone hated him, because you were on the receiving end, and not him. “That’s not what I mea- shut up you guys!” His eyes found yours now, and you were just standing exactly where you were before, a neutral look plastered across your expression, minus your upper lip you sucked in.

“You have never been, and are not, an ugly duckling.”

There was a pregnant pause. Your wide eyes were held on Eddie’s soft ones, one hand pressed out to you, the other behind him where the majority of the guys were, like he was trying to forcefully separate you from the bullies, even if they did think it was all joking, and you thought he knew you wouldn’t try and distance those opinions yourself, from the way he kept looking at you. His own lips mirrored yours, the only movement in the room apart from his chest rising and falling as he breathed, sucking it in as he waited for you. He hadn’t meant to start any type of conversation like this, and you knew he didn’t like where it’d gone. With just a few moments of him watching you like that, you felt a small smile start to tug at your lips where they were previously tucked away, heartbeat softening under his gaze and words.

That was until words not spoken by Eddie, broke the graceful moment supposendly only noticed between the two of you.

“Like... so what, is y/n aging backwards, orrrr??” Dustin asked the group, snapping the silence of the room. It was quickly completely shattered as everyone praised Dustin for his comeback. You watched Eddie’s shoulders fall in a sigh, squinting his eyes just a little harder than usual.

Your stomach flipped as the boy you almost felt was a little brother to you cut you deep.

Great, even Dustin was properly joining in now. His words almost stung the most. But even as your brain thought that, your heart thought another thing ’not him too...’

“Seriously, knock it off!“ Eddie growled deeply at his members, more firm than the last time he said it. But the guys just didn’t get it. They weren’t taking him seriously, they didn’t realise they were supposed to. Dustin hadn’t even looked at Eddie, he just kept waiting for you.

And when his big goofy grin was looking to yours, and the others as he got such an uproarious reaction to his joke, Eddie being ignored, your own practice perfect smile reacted too. “Oh not you as well?” You rolled your eyes, thankful it gave you an excuse to blink any wateriness away. “Shit Dustin, I thought at least you’d be on my side?”

“I am.” Dustin nodded, feigning seriousness in a straight pose as he embellished upon his joke. “It’s therapeutic for people to not live in denial after a while.”

You laughed again, giving a small punch to his shoulder as you were half relieved that your serious words came in a light enough tone that no one could decipher them. The other part of you begged them to realise this was too much. That they were hurting you. But you knew you couldn��t handle that. If you started acting like a baby, acting out against their words like a brat who couldn’t take it, they’d all just pause and stare at you, even Eddie. None of them would know what to say and you’d have ruined everything by making it awkward. The ugliest animal thing earlier showed they were all joking as friends, but you couldn’t apparently take a joke. They were all good kids, and your friends. They couldn’t help your uncomfortable truth.

“Has it happened yet in that case?” Mike faux whispered to the other younger boys, slinking away a little with a giggle as Eddie stepped closer, chin out and teeth gritted in frustration.

You couldn’t see that though from your vantage point at the other side of the end of the table. You managed a chuckle at Mike’s add on, it was smaller than your laughs before. You didn’t really know how to react now that Eddie was sticking up for you the way he was, but even that small laugh was enough to bring Eddie physically back to you.

“Y/n you don’t have to laugh,” Eddie told you, eyes twitching downwards in sadness. Why weren’t you discouraging them? “Guys, shut the fuck up already.” He told them off, stepping closer to your side whilst he glared at them.

You felt something in your jaw twitch, a muscle or something, and you hoped Eddie didn’t hear the sound your throat made in response. You leant closer to his warmth, not touching him yet as his slightly widening nostrils made his breathing audible to you, but your jacket material brushed agaisnt his own. “It’s fine Eddie, don’t w-“

“No it’s not y/n.” Eddie quickly interrupted you, looking down at you with a softer glance, even though he’d snapped his disapproving look from the boys in under a second. He still looked disappointed at you though. Although you weren’t sure if he’d had time to control that look aimed at them, or if it was your fault.

You were stunned into silence. You almost felt ashamed, bowing your head as you looked at Eddie’s feet, noticing them shuffling nearer to you. He didn’t solidly touch you yet, but his arm and left side was slightly behind you now, closer like this. You didn’t think the guys were making that much of a big deal, especially since in this case, part of you knew they were truly joking. But the words they spoke still came out. You weren’t expecting Eddie to really defend you, not when you didn’t even try and defend yourself anymore, not even subconsciously. It felt... warm, that he did though.

In the tiniest of movements, you leant your back into his torso.

Your back only grazed against his cotton shirt, but it still felt better than before. Better than most things.

“C’mon, it’s not like she’s gonna start sprouting white feathers any time soon!” Mike retaliated against Eddie in a brave offence.

Your instinct is almost to laugh again. But Eddie’s was to drop his hands onto your shoulders, and that touch completely whirlwinded your thoughts, as well as snapping you out of that learnt behaviour. Things were different when Eddie was behind you. After a few seconds of them still laughing, Eddie began gently rubbing your shoulders. You didn’t think this was because they were still laughing at you. Eddie just naturally fell into it. It felt too good as he rubbed his hands quickly up and down the top of them, the friction buzzing beneath your skin in a way that made you feel heated in your face and chest, not in a way that made you want to itch your skin off, for how disgusting your body felt it was. Eddie was now fully behind you, but his head still leant over yours as he spoke. You felt shrouded by him, including, from your own umbrella of thoughts. “Don’t pay any attention to those shitheads y/n.” He commanded you.

You meant to nod. Really. You meant to show Eddie that you were strong. You were good and could do what he asked. But instead, with the soft weight of Eddie’s palms rolling against your skin, your body gave off more of a defeated shrug. Maybe that’s what your mind intended your body to show anyway. Even with Eddie’s support. Something you didn’t know you needed quite this much, even if you were having somewhat of a hard time properly accepting it.

That seemed to do it for Eddie. He peered down at you, leaning more to the side. You had to look away after a certain point, when his eyes grew scared, it was like he could see right into you. His voice was stable as he moved in front of you, hands still clapsed to your shoulders, and eyes full with hurt. “Stop that y/n, you’re beautiful.”

Loud enough that the club members could hear. Which was in Eddie’s plan. He just wasn’t thinking super far ahead, his chest squeezing for a second too hard, when after a small obvious pause the guys all called out in unison. “Ooooooh!”

They all started teasing him. At a similar level they were doing so to you. And you didn’t miss the sudden panic that hit Eddie’s eyes, especially as his hands dropped from your body, twiddling his own rings instead. “Well you know not beautiful I didn’t mean it like that I just m-me-meant...”

You guessed it wasn’t worth defending you at this point. Now more than ever you had to keep in control of your face, with Eddie looking at you still stumbling over his own words. His confidence quickly fading.

And while it hurt hearing him call you that initially, ’beautiful’, even though you knew something was wrong with you that that did hurt, it hurt even more when he said you weren’t.

And you knew that was stupid. That wasn’t what he meant, he just didn’t want you to think he was hitting on you inappropriately or anything (or at all). He didn’t want the guys teasing you about him having a crush. Especially when he almost definitely didn’t, so Eddie would’ve found it annoying you were sure. That bad part of your brain still took what it could grab at though. Eddie did not mean to say you were beautiful, he didn’t think that was true at all.

Probably only said it to shut up your blabbering for a second. You were that pathetic, just bringing the vibe down for everyone, so much Eddie had to lie. Good job he quickly redacted it you guessed. At least he still had his values there.

Wallowing in your own self-misery, something Eddie was very clealry not missing, he was shook out of his concern for you by Gareth sticking his tongue out at him. “C’mon Eddie, you’re never this nice to us.”

Eddie rolled his eyes back with a dramatic grunt to him. “Yeah well that’s because I actually like y/n! Y/n is actually nice.” He turned back to you, still concerned that you weren’t looking at anyone’s face, not even his as he tried to grab your attention. Only his kept being stolen back by those little pricks.

“Is it because y/n’s the only girl in the group?” Lucas asked, getting a “Yeah Eddie. Is it?” From Dustin as back up.

Eddie grit his teeth, shaking his head in frustration. Talk to you, get them to back off, get you to look at him, talk to his group. “No-“

“Well it has to be something.” Jeff suggests, earning a snicker from Gareth.

“Look, you’re all assholes.” Eddie chides. Not in a super serious way, but letting them know he was getting tired of dealing with their bull. He was trying to shut them down, at least get them to talk amongst themselves so he could have you. But as soon as his head snapped back to you, everyone’s went to Gareth, as his digital watch started to beep.

Eddie’s heart sunk, and yours fluttered in relief mixed with discomfort. Time to leave.

Everyone started packing up. Eddie quickly shoving all his things into his bag because leaving them there was a death wish for any figurines or other creations, but he didn’t want to get caught behind by everyone else’s cleaning up.

Dustin hit your arm lightly only to snicker at you when you looked up. You laughed along with the joke. Your head was red because you were bending at an angle under the table to quickly pack your bag. No other reason.

At least with the growing members, no one would notice if you didn’t talk to anyone on the short way out of school. You hoped.

All of you flooded out the theatre rooms door, the club chattering amongst themselves down the empty hallway as you tried to keep your head buried even further now, in less dim light. Although the sudden change of leaving had given you a small spark of rejuvenation, that you were riding out so as not to cry. Eddie was sticking close by you, not talking to the others either, but apart from your mouth breathing you were doing, which you had to keep up to stop from fully cracking, you tried to act normal.

And considering both of you were surrounded by the group walking to the exit doors, Eddie didn’t try and talk to you until you all dispersed there. Even though you were the only thing he looked at the entire walk.

Exiting into the Indiana sun, that was definitely about to start setting with how late the session had gone, the rest of the members started going to their methods of transportation, the parking lot pretty silent as most clubs finished at a reasonable and precise time. Unlike Hellfire.

The kids had their bikes to haul back today, and Gareth’s mom was picking him and Jeff up, so it meant Eddie had a free seat. Not that he wouldn’t be driving you, or anyone, in the back of his van anyways. “Hey, do you need a ride home?” Eddie offered, trying to act causal like he could tell you wanted, but the inside of his mind buzzing with ’Please say yes, please ride with me so we can talk.’

But you quickly shut that down, panic evident on your face, which Eddie hated to see, as you quickly spoke out “My mom’s picking me up.” Too quickly for normal.

Eddie opened his mouth again, just letting it take over what he was next to say without his mind’s involvement, a bit like you clearly were, but as he did, you both spot about the only car rolling outside.

Heart dropping disappointed, Eddie put on a small smile as he waved to your mom through her window, just as you started to run over, not even saying bye to Eddie. Not even hugging him goodbye... which he looked forward to every single day. You hugging him hello and goodbye were the only hugs, the only true physical affection, Eddie really ever got. And he didn’t get it today.

But all he could do was keep waving, not able to see if anyone was waving back thanks to the sun’s reflection on the car window, as he was forced to watch you driving away...

You hated that you had school the next day. You almost wanted to take the day off, you had the very real stomach ache as an excuse. Plus the fatigue from staying up until 2am - it was hard to sleep when all you could do was cry. Scared about what Eddie was thinking right now, knowing he’d be up. How all your friends see you. Would they see you any differently today?

But there came the cost of not showing up, and them possibly figuring out you were hurt by yesterday. Then you holding in your crying the afternoon before was pointless, because they’d all know you’re a baby who makes her friends feel bad. God you hated how anxiety made every decision feel like a crappy one.

But you decided to go to school, prove to yourself that you were brave and not stupid. Even if you still secretly planned to avoid Hellfire as much as possible. Wherever physically, and in places like shared classes with Eddie (in which being the only two to share desks previously always seemed like a blessing), and lunch with all of them, you’d just have to practice avoidance by being quieter.

Unfortunately, none of this was on the table for you.

You got out your moms car and started to walk up to the school doors, busting through the ones closest to your lockers like you did every day, only for your heart to freeze and constrict in your chest, at seeing a pained looking Eddie leaning against your locker.

He was looking every which way, peering over most students heads. And you quickly made the decision to let autopilot run free on your body so you could continue your usual walk up, before Eddie could see you just stood stiff staring at him. Not weird at all. You trudged on.

Eddie’s face lit up when he saw you, but not in the usual happy way. It was more of a relieved look this time. He waved you over though, his curled hand raised above people but not shouting for your attention, which was a bit lower profile for the metal head than usual. You managed a small smile, taking a breath you knew you’d need, as Eddie managed to give a smile that looked all to much like your own as you swanned closer. “Hey princess.” He breathed out, calmer than he looked before.

As much as that nickname made your heart beat faster, you were distracted by the fading smell of smoke on him, and a small frown twisted onto your features, as Eddie only usually smoked right before classes when he was stressed, and needed a cigarette. Oh no, you hoped he was okay.

Eddie pretty much blocked you off from the rest of the school goers, and the world, as you got to your locker. Scooting over because he was literally leaning on yours, his hand moving to rest one to the left, but his entire body leant behind you, a breath as relieved as his smile leaving his lips as he could finally look over you. “I’m so glad you’re in today.”

Your face burned, heart swelling and tingly.

“I mean, I was worried you weren’t gonna show. I was totally gonna ditch and steal your neighbours ladder to check up on you though, if you didn’t.”

You heart was palpitating now, your lips opening into a small fish like shape as you blinked furiously, charmed. Eddie would’ve climbed through your window to check up on you if you’d missed school? How long was he worrying about you? How long had he planned that?

The gesture was so sweet, too sweet to you, electricity stormed through your stomach and your legs, not sure whether to smile or bury everything down deeper because you knew negative feelings were still being held back by a very thin damn. You turned to your locker, keeping a side eye on Eddie as you spoke, organising your books. “I’m fine. I promise. Why wouldn’t I be Eddie?”

It didn’t sound like you were faking. But that’s because it didn’t come out sounding causal at all. Like you weren’t even trying to be convincing. It sounded like you truly didn’t mean any of that and the both of you knew it too well.

’Maybe he just wanted to skip school’ floated briefly through your mind.

Eddie clicked his tongue, unseen to you, running his sweaty palms against the skin and denim of his ripped black jeans. “Well, after yesterday, you seemed a bit upset. Which was fair. I know they were just messing around because you’re their friend, but the guys were being total assholes and losers.”

Fair? Eddie thought you were okay being upset? You knew it was true, realistically. Of course you were allowed to feel upset. But it just felt so... comforting, to have Eddie confirm that for you in his own way, without any prior prodding. It was just a genuine declaration of how he felt.

“O-Oh.”

That wasn’t being hidden from Eddie. The crowd of pupils and teachers was thinning, but Eddie still drew closer, a shield against all those people, the noise of outside the two of you. People could be mean to you guys, mostly him, and he hated the fact people were only mean to you because you were friends with him, so he just wanted a break from that so he could focus on you right now. His face furrowed, already fallen like before he’d even seen you, lips twisting every which way and being bitten on the inside.

“W- uhh, thank you. That’s really nice of you... But yeah, um, I’m fine. No need to worry, honest!”

“Are you being honest though?”

Eddie leant closer and his breath on the nape of your neck drew a loud shudder of a gasp. You turned around quickly, only to be even more intimated at his determined look, now you two were front to front. Your back closed your locker for you, bag dead by your shoes.

“Uhhhh I-“

Eddie put his thumb to your lips, his hand following after and oh so gently cupping your chin. You couldn’t even breathe at this point, too scared to, and Eddie had this geuinine look in his eyes, emotions full in the dark brown, that you didn’t know what to do with. “Y/n please talk to me. You’re my best friend, right? I know you were lying yesterday when you laughed with the guys and I don’t think...” Eddie struggled when he didn’t let his heart run with the words, tongue flicking against his lips as it usually did, while his thumb still graced yours. “I don’t think they were playing along with me.”

In Eddie’s head it made sense. But it had yet to be translated to you. Instead, it was taken as wrong. “Oh? And what game were you playing?” You spoke, lightly unable to avoid brushing against his warm finger.

“No I’m not playing a game I just mean...” Eddie sighed, his brown puppy eyes so sad, as they held yours. Everyone had gone to class now, no one bothering to remind you two of the last bell. “I mean the guys and I... no fuck, hold on.” Eddie inhaled through his teeth, his hand finally leaving your face, which at least allowed you to breathe, but made you feel solemn and hollow at the same time.

Eddie was level with you. Looking like the normal boy you knew he was, who could feel unsure, and scared, and nervous. His ringed hands wrung together, swearing to himself as he tried to hold your eyes in his, desperate for you to stay right now. “I think- I mean I know, I see you differently than them...”

Eddie’s hand braced his chest as he said that, staying splayed there over his white Hellfire shirt. Meanwhile you were overlooking your flustered crush, rolling your shoulders as you exhaled unsurely through your nose. It made you nervous having a one on one conversation with Eddie that was so serious. No distractions. And seeing him so flustered and open was a vulnerable side you’d seen before, but not when you both felt this exposed, with something you were so hesitant to say. You bit your lip, only realising for a split second after that Eddie’s thumb had been on there, but you pushed that thought aside for later as you watched his tongue almost reaching the top of his nose again, sticking out like that nervously. About as on the spot as you felt.

“So... you see me as a swan and they see me as the ugly duckling?” You asked unsure, flinching back and feeling bad when Eddie winced harshly at your words. Shaking his head vigorously. Voice cracking a little through the first few words.

“No! Fuck no, that’s not. That’s not even true what they said y/n! They were just trying to find a joke and they locked onto it, they don’t think anyone looks like what they said, Jesus H Christ none of us look like animals. Least of all you y/n!”

You blinked away the last sentence, pinning it again for later, like your brain couldn’t be split between conflicting emotions, but unfortunately was picking the negative ones to experience now. The negative ones to experience with Eddie, and the positive ones for when you were alone. Christ couldn’t you be positive and happy when you were around people you loved instead today? “Look I’m not mad at them okay Eddie?” You spoke up. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to yell at them or something for me. I mean I really appreciate what you did for me yesterday, it made me feel nice but-“

“What? I’m not mad. Y/n-“ Eddie strode close and took your hands softly in his, flipping them over and grazing them in his own calloused touch, holding them warmly. “I’m not even trying to talk about them right now. They were being little dicks yesterday but they were just messing around. You know I know you’re beautiful don’t you? I mean, I do have eyes.” He chuckled softly only on that last sentence. The first and only time he hadn’t seemed serious apart from when he finally saw you. Almost like you relaxed him, made him feel good, better.

But now your brain was pushing away the positivity, that was becoming more in volume than the negativity, on purpose. Because it stuck onto one part that it could warp, and stab into you like a knife.

“Look Eddie I really appreciate you, and you know I love you.” You squeezed his hands softly, and Eddie looked like he was melting at your touch. His cheeks seemed softer, slightly pinker as they raised in an honest to god smile, medium sized, but perfect to the situation. And you both took a step closer to the other, not knowing each other would do the same. Still a parting, but wrists resting on your own stomachs. “But you don’t have to say that, I know yesterday you got kinda screwed over and tried to take it back and it’s fine. I don’t want you to feel bad or-“

“Y/n stop!!” Eddie snapped, shocking you a little as you jumped. Eddie held your hands closer in apology, pulling your wrists so near your hands were in his stomach now. “I mean Jesus Christ! Y/n. You are beautiful. I meant it yesterday and I mean it now. And I’ve always known it. Maybe I should’ve said it more but...” Eddie used one conjoined hand to shift back his curls in his face, huffing out quickly. You could feel how hot his poor forehead was becoming as he moved so.

“You are beautiful. You’re gorgeous.” His brown eyes looked deeply into yours, open, and face contorted in a mixture of confusion, but being pure, and fully unendingly loving, as he held you close. Hands smoothing down your shoulders, shaking as they tried to keep you from running, tried to soothe you into his words. Like a charm roll a bard would throw for a restless dragon.

“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever been graced enough to lay my fucking eyes on.” His tongue darted out, eyes blinking sheepishly as he kept looking right at you. “Why don’t you see that, all the time?” Pain and confusion. That’s what was in his voice. Love and fear mixed into all his touches, hands smoothing over your back and shoulder blades in his need to fidget and be touching you, someone he always wanted to never not be touching, ever since the moment you first lit up when talking to him. That’s the only thing he ever saw when he looked at you, and he just couldn’t fathom a world where you somehow didn’t see the exact same thing, staring blatantly obviously back.

“Because I’m not!” You wriggled harshly out of his grip, the genuine hurt in Eddie’s eyes, only fuelling the burst of passion you were having. “I’m not anything! I’m not anything good, Eddie!” You were yelling, no one had seen you yell before, least of all Eddie. And Eddie teetered on nervous feet, worried about reaching out for you, but scared of what you’d do if he didn’t ground you.

Your breath felt ragged, head pounding. “I look at myself, I think about myself, and all I can feel, is how ugly, and disgusting I am.”

Pure and simple shock was spread across Eddie’s features. The kind of disappointed shock where he couldn’t understand how, or why you’d ever felt this way. Eddie was heartbroken.

“Whenever I remember this body I’m in, I want to cry because I feel like nothing good is deserved for someone as fucked up as this. I feel sick in my own skin. Every cell of me feels wrong, and that’s how I live. Terrified that someone’s going to look at me, someone who’s seen me a thousand times, and suddenly see this me that’s just a monster when you look again.” Your hand was to your heart, and you were crying now. Tears itching that disgusting skin people should wash their hands after touching. God you felt awful getting it out there, this was bullshit.

Anger was about to start seeping into Eddie too, just a little, grief and heartbreak was overtaking him right now. “Is this to do with what the guys said?”

You were hyperventilating now. Very aware of breaking down in front of your crush, and unable to breathe because you were crying so hard. Terror striking you from speaking the truth, because your best friend would see you that way now. Upon his words, a gasp bubbles through the saliva in your throat, but before you could answer Eddie finshed.

“I’m going to knock their teeth in.” Eddie felt hot tears in his eyes. He’d let you go home thinking about this. You were hurting. “I don’t care that they’re stupid, I’m going to tell them all that-“

“No!” You finally got close to Eddie again, your hands the only strong part of either of you as you lightly gripped his forearm. “No it’s not their fault.” You knew Eddie would only drag them somewhere and knock their heads together, but you didn’t want him guilting your friends, you didn’t want them hurt. You didn’t want them to know either. “It’s not them. I’ve always felt like this.”

Eddie felt lost. Eddie was crushed. His whole face collapsing to show it. His tears dripped onto his shirt, defeated by them. The white staining in the hollow hallway as he just looked at you, about as broken as you feel. ”But why?”

Eddie was genuinely confused. And it made your heart skip. To the point it felt so good, it was painful.

This whole conversation was painful. Your head dropped as your tears slunk to the floor, Eddie gripping your wrists in return, before pulling you warmly into a hug. Eddie’s embrace so tight, so scared to break you but needing you to stay, safe, with him, so you wouldn’t. Eddie would never let you break. He promised to himself now to always pick up your pieces before you could fully fall apart. Eddie would never let that happen, not on his watch. Not when you were under his oath. He sniffed, licking up his tears as he nuzzled his cheek into your head. Dreaded mumbles falling from his lips with small cries. Even his hips pressed to yours, his feet entangling thoughtfully, so you couldn’t fall, or retreat, just hugging you.

“I just. I don’t know.” You sobbed once. “I’m sorry.”

“Ssh. Don’t you dare apologise.” Eddie stroked the wetness away from your head, into his hand. “I’ll kick your ass.” He kisses your head instead, heart delighting, but not enough to give a smile, as you laughed at that. Hearing your small purr of a giggle was enough to tell himself to keep going, that he was doing an alright job.

“Sorry.”

Eddie pressed a hard kiss into your temple, growling lightly at you. Clearly still teasing you though. For once you didn’t have a single fear Eddie was mad at you. You could just breathe out laughs, even as you were crying. “I don’t know. Don’t you see that? See that... see an ugly duckling, in me?” You asked genuinely. For once your brain didn’t give you a million versions of the future, you just felt blank as you waited for his answer. It was peaceful.

As Eddie thought, he grazed against your head. Lips nibbling your skin, and your hair caught there, laughing lightly back when he felt another round of your chuckles, vibrating through his own chest, his warm hand smoothing down your back. He loved that feeling. He always wanted to make you laugh, but now he resolved to do so as he had your chest pressed against him, all the time. “I’ve... since the first moment I saw you, I’ve always thought you were jaw-droppingly stunning.” He revealed.

You felt conflicted, your heart pulled, brain just... not able to picture him seeing you like that. But you knew he wasn’t finished, and he held you impossibly closer, always being able to tell what you were feeling, even if it could be irritatingly accurate.

“But... the more I fell in love with you, the more and more I just kept seeing you as someone so perfect, it felt like the sun lit up her hair through every window on purpose. To shine down on her specifically. That the weather was made that day, so she could wear an outfit that made your legs, and stomach, and arms, and hands, look so desirable to hold. Someone who’s smile literally made the people around her smile for the rest of their entire day, and how that kinda magic could only be possible from you. That every day I’d see a different person spin around and do a double take at you with that look on their face, that look because they know they’ve just walked past the most beautiful girl in the entire world, and they’ll never get that chance again to brush past your shoulder, and meet-cute you, ever. And that I’m the luckiest man on this earth, because somehow, through your own kindness, and through the wind and the sun and our peers and the earth beneath our feet and stardust that made everything, I was lucky enough to be someone, who gets to see someone so beautiful, every single day.”

Eddie breathed out. His brown eyes warm in yours. His touch craving. His body glowing after all that.

And there were no words. A white sheet in your mind and a white glow over your body. You only knew you felt light, you felt... right. And your heart was full. And the thing that kept circling over and over in your mind, finally spoke out.

“You love me?”

Eddie’s breath collapsed in his laugh. Full and hearty, and the tears in his eyes were now spilt because of how they crinkled, smile spreading to his cheeks and his warm palms cupped your own cheeks, like he was so grateful to be able to hold you safe like this, like he was so happy to have your face beating in his hands. “Of course I do. I love you y/n. I’m madly in love with you! I love you so much it’s consumed every part of me and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you more than fucking anything! I love you more than anything y/n!”

“I love you too!” The air tasted different when you gasped, Eddie’s heart swelling was something you could see throughout his entire body, as his chest rose and his feet curled, and his eyes warmed, and his lips opened in such a smile. You took Eddie’s face in your own hands and everything fit together perfectly. He was so warm, so full of life, so Eddie, and so full of love for you. Eddie was the love of your life, and you could hold his tear ridden smile in your hands.

Eddie leant in close, using his hands to pull you further as his open lips spread, and your eyes fluttered stickily shut as you just smiled leaning in. Finally having his full, wet lips slotting against yours, and feeling each other’s smiles into the kiss, as you felt him kiss you like it was the best memory he’d ever make.

He pulled you in closer, almost tripping over your own feet as his hands on your cheek coerced you, but only one foot slipping, as you kissed him deeper. Lovingly moulding his lower lip that wanted to live in your mouth, and feeling his thick upper one kiss you back with so much deep adoration. Affection and love oozing out of Eddie as he kissed you happily. Sweet sounds coming from the both of you as your hands curled in his dark hair by his ears, and his cradled your nape and your lower back. Cheeks brushing and noses nuzzling, as you sweetly tasted each other, kissing like it was the only thing that was right in this world.

Finally, after stopping a little, and feeling Eddie’s nose nuzzle and brush at you in return, you pulled back. Eddie having literally stolen your breath away. You both backed up just an inch, just enough to see each other, and you were both beaming smiles through the warm sun rays. Eddie leant in to kiss you again, this time a small peck that you reciprocated, both his lips sweetly pressing against yours, and you could just tell they were Eddie Munson’s lips.

A noise of deep happiness and satisfaction finally broke the air and Eddie couldn’t help but nose at your cheek playfully again. “That was even better than I imagined.” He fondly grinned.

You tilted your head, wrapping both your arms around Eddie’s neck, as you felt a different energy, making a home in your new home. “You imagined kissing me before?”

Eddie went momentarily bright red. Before he remembered it was you he was with, and it was okay to be this vulnerable because you loved him too. “‘F course!” He sang. “Although minus the crying.”

You burst into laughter, Eddie following along as you rubbed at your drying tears, stomach fluttering as Eddie’s calloused fingers went to softly swipe at your cheekbones instead, the warm metal of his rings from how clammy his hands were, actually feeling nice as he brushed them away, “Pretty princess...” Getting at his own tears with his sleeve before you could return the favour. “Yeah.” He took both your cheeks in his hands again, before he leaned in to kiss you once more. Then your two red cheeks, and he leaned back and smiled, then both your eyes, still smiling, as he just had to look at you again “Can’t have my gorgeous girl crying. Never.”

Somehow, that didn’t start it again. Your lip wobbled but no tears came, only as Eddie kissed your nose fondly, was your movement to hold his face back, squeezing those adorable cheeks as you kissed all over his face. Every single inch got covered in your loving kisses, and feeling Eddie’s excited giggles fanning so close on your skin just made you kiss his lips over, and over, and over, and Eddie kiss yours, over, and over again. Your “I love you Eddie”’s being caught in between each and every kiss. Only stopping when Eddie pulled back to look at you, so happy in his hand, so he could smile at the sight of you. “My beautiful y/n.”

You two both skipped school that day eventually anyways. Only this time, as you walked hand in loveable hand down the empty hallways, not looking at each other only and purely because you were too busy kissing to have your eyes open, you were leaving to spend your first moments together as a couple.

[mayasdeluca]

Wynonna Earp: Vengeance Thoughts

I've watched the special twice now so I've put some thoughts together on how I felt about it. Overall I thought it was really good and Emily did a good job of balancing both appealing it to new viewers who may not be attached to these characters but having a plot that they could be intrigued by and also still going back to the show's roots and making it about everything we know and love with these characters. I'm going to put more detailed thoughts under the cut, feel free to share yours either on the post or by messaging me and we can discuss! And also keep watching so we give it a bunch of views and a good chance to have more than just this special :)

The beginning of the movie starting with Nedley and Mercedes was unexpected but so good. Sad that Mercedes had to be sacrificed right away, Dani Kind is awesome but the way they did that with her body spelling out ‘Earp’ was insane ad fit this show perfectly.

Wynonna walking through the casino to ‘Tell That Devil’ was perfect and gave me all the feels. 

Wayhaught’s first scene was adorable and so them. The Bunny interruption was perfect too. Loved her little involvement lol

I never really liked Wynonna and Doc romantically (Team Dolls all the way) so a lot of their involvement I didn’t really care for (though I do love Tim so it’s hard to not care for Doc completely). Their dynamic has always been sort of odd to me though. 

Wynonna putting on the leather jacket before making her way back to Purgatory was another iconic moment. 😭❤️

All the Wynonna/Waverly/Nicole scenes in the movie were perfect. I wish we had more. Wynonna teasing them any chance she could and Nicole giving it to her right back. The scene when Wynonna just returns home was one of my favorites in the whole special. The stairs comment was my favorite Kat’s delivery of ‘Shut your mouth’ 😂 her comment on the chore wheel “It’s your turn to clean the baseboards…whatever that means in gay’ 😂

Wynonna and Waverly drunk at Mercedes wake and Nicole having to deal with their stupidity 😂 that whole sequence was absolute chaos in the best way

Loved Nicole and Nedley’s heart to heart ❤️ their dynamic is so special and important 

They really put Nicole through hell (as usual) and we got to see her be badass which I love. Also kudos to Kat for doing all this physical stuff while being pregnant. She’s amazing. 

Waverly and Wynonna having a heart to heart in front of the fire just like old times ❤️

The scene of Waverly, Wynonna, Nicole and Doc at the table really felt so right. The four of them are so good together. 

The flashbacks of younger Wynonna to tie in her connection to the villain were really well done and especially the shots of present Wynonna seeing some of it. Great directing choice.

Nicole and Wynonna telling each other the hard truths all while being incredibly entertaining is my favorite thing. And in contrast seeing Doc and Waverley’s relationship is so great too. 

This Black Badge Agent was incredibly underwhelming. A poor man’s Dolls and did nothing for me. I saw Emily’s explanation about not wanting to have too many familiar characters (as a reason why Jeremy wasn’t more involved) but this guy was just..meh. 

The way they just casually dropped a kids mention with Wayhaught only to be interrupted right after…I think it makes sense that Nicole is ready for kids and Waverly isn’t (yet) because she still needs to explore and do things she hasn’t been able to yet but I do hope if they are able to do more that it’s brought up again

Nicole having to save Waverly from a dark goo (again) was a nice touch and I loved seeing that whole sequence (acted brilliantly by both Dom and Kat) Also all the times Nicole said fuck 😂

Wynonna and Doc porch scenes are always so heartbreaking. 😭 I don’t have much of an attachment to them together but Mel and Tim are so good in these kinds of scenes. 

The amount of ‘baby’ mentions for Wayhaught in this special made me super happy 😍

This Wayhaught convo about Waverly needing to go do her thing with Black Badge and Nicole assuring her they can handle it was so good. They are so in love and precious. “I wish I could be the one to show you the world.” 😭 My favorite line. Ugh I want that for them so bad! 

The Wynonna and Nedley convo at the cemetery was so good too. I love that this show/cast can basically put any two people together in a scene and they’re so good together in said scene. 

Wayhaught on stakeout duty up top while Wynonna and Doc handle things on the ground was epic. And then when Nedley joined in…amazing lol

Loved seeing Wynonna being the badass we know her to be and taking care of things in her chaotic way and getting Nicole’s wedding ring back 🥰

I’m still shocked they went there with Doc and killing him but I do think it will end up being temporary if they end up doing more. It’s so sad to do that to Wynonna AGAIN too after she dealt with Dolls dying on top of everything else…stop torturing this poor woman already!! 

It also seemed odd to me how none of them really had a reaction to Doc’s death…wonder if that was supposed to mean something. I’m glad they had Jeremy show up at this point though. 

Wayhaught’s goodbye before Waverly leaves 😭 and Waverly saying goodbye to Wynonna too 😭…but excited for Waverly to have this journey and now Wynonna and Nicole working together…it leaves so much left for them to still do which I like. 

Nedley watching Nicole and Wynonna like a proud dad ❤️ great ending with the last shot being that sign and Earp mailbox...very well done! 

I do wish Rachel could have been involved (I loved her dynamic with Nicole especially in Season 4 and she is so Wayhaught's child) but Emily kind of explained that we'll see why she wasn't involved in the audiobook thing so I'm intrigued by that.

I also was kind of hoping we'd get more of just Wayhaught in general but of course I'm biased since they're my favorite part of the show/series and that we'd get more of them being intimate together but it was a lot more of it being implied (which I did enjoy and found funny especially in the way Wynonna would do it) and I get they only had a certain amount of time but now it's just made me want more of them in general so I do hope we get more now 🤞🏻

[its-shugo-chara-time]

Shugo Chara Jewel Joker Ch. 1 Review

I thought I'd go over my thoughts about the first chapter of the sequel.

So, can we first start off with how gorgeous this chapter cover is? Like I absolutely love how the same art style is still there but it seems more refined and...mature (I don't know how but it just does).

I'll be completely honest that I'm not super thrilled about them adding on another love interest to the sequel. It makes sense, but, not super excited about it. The fact that he already appears to just be a younger version of Ikuto feels a bit lazy on Peach-Pit's end. Sorry if that's offensive but those were just my initial thoughts.

I also really like that it's a sequel directly after the events of Shugo Chara Encore. I think exploring Amu's growth through middle school is such a great concept. The ~ cool and spicy ~ line still makes me smile every time.

It's so good to see Rima, Yaya, and Kairi!! AAAH THEY ARE ALL SO PRECIOUS, especially Rima. I always have adored her.

Also, Kairi and Yaya's dynamic is so cute. I think they balance each other out really well. I know some thought their "pairing", if you can even call it that, in Shugo Chara Encore random, but I think it actually works well. I'd love to see some of the chapters show how Kairi and Yaya are doing taking over the Seiyo Academy Elementary guardians, maybe even see who the new King, Queen, and Joker end up being.

And then there's the adorable prince. I spent so much of middle and high school years going back and forth between him and Ikuto as my favorite. I started off liking Ikuto then went to Tadase then back to Ikuto haha. Now that I am 26 years old, I can acknowledge that the age gap between Amu and Ikuto is definitely valid in people considering it problematic, which I would have adamantly disagreed with at 16. Now that I am a therapist and have seen a lot (to say the least), my opinion has changed. I can't deny the appeal of that relationship in a fictional setting but also can't deny that the age gap is not something that can be overlooked. It would never fly in real life. I'll just leave it at that.

I'm not going to lie, I was pretty disappointed when I first read this about her going to a new school. I was like NOOO I WANT TO SEE AMU WITH THE SAME CHARACTERS AND JUST SEE ALL THE RELATIONSHIPS DEVELOP MORE. Alas, though, I also can agree that the new school and new characters can be great for Amu's growth and journey. Plus, I mean, there's got to be an actual plot lol. So there's that.

I also love how Tsukasa is downplaying all of this. Like it'll actually only take a week or two. Or a semester haha. Also weird how he's just shipping them off with little regard for their actual education or wants. Did Amu's parents actually say yes to this? Haha. It's those little things that I think about that I wonder if anyone else does.

First appearance of the new mysterious cat boy. I wonder if they're making him (at least appearance wise) identical to Ikuto because Peach-Pit realized that Ikuto being with Amu is deemed problematic more so now or if it's just another distraction until Amu ends up with Ikuto ..or Tadase? I honestly have no clue what they'll end up doing. I also just wanted to say that if you all do ship Amuto or Amu with Ikuto, there is no judgment from me. I must acknowledge that it is inappropriate but at the same time, I also know the nostalgia and very cute story they have too. Their relationship is very sweet, but the age gap can't be overlooked. But anyway, still not thrilled about this new guy, sorry.

Oh my gosh look how cute they are!!! Amu's uniform suits her so well, I 100% support her wearing that the rest of the series. Tadase also looks super cute too with that coat. He looks more grown up, aw.

I don't know how all these children get to go to these academies that look more beautiful than some cathedrals. Also can't wait to see how this new cute villain guy contributes to this story. I wonder how he'll differ from the other villains like Nikaidou and Kairi's sister (why can't I remember her name?) or the Easter director guy. I think Nikaidou has been my favorite "villain" so far. I think he was the most developed one.

I like the concept of the X not disappearing and having this cultish academy where everyone already has guardian characters. Where did the X egg go though? Did it just disappear? Am I stupid because I seriously don't know why it's not mentioned after this haha like where did it go? And whose was it? Can't wait to see why all the students are desensitized to this haha.

Possible villain number 2. I like her character design. I kind of like how she's more passive aggressive toward Amu instead of how it was with Rima and Utau where it was full on aggression at the beginning. I don't think we've really seen Amu handle that dynamic and I'm curious how their relationship will develop. It's funny how Amu knows there's something off about her immediately. Amu definitely isn't naive like she can read that the girl doesn't have good intentions pretty quickly.

Okay, this conversation that Amu has with Rima is so cute though. Whether I can fully ship Amuto or not, I have to say Rima giving Amu relationship advice (albeit, not good advice haha) is hilarious and we need to see more of this please.

Gosh I love Amu's different faces. And that's she's a scaredy cat.

Can we just remember -

And many, many more amazing Amu reactions from the anime.

I'll close with, I still don't like new boy but I guess I can't say I permanently think that until he actually gets formally introduced. I hope he's distinctly different from Ikuto or else it just feels kind of pointless having him there.

Welp, that's my commentary! Sorry that was EXTREMELY long. It's also almost midnight where I live, like wow I sure can blab about this manga for a long time. Please comment or like if you at least somewhat enjoyed this little review. Or if you didn't like it. I'm open to suggestions haha, or light-hearted, respectful debates. I'm very new to being back on tumblr so if my formatting is horrendous I'm down for some advice. I also will be posting about the second chapter in the upcoming days so be looking out for that too! Excited to be back on here and see what you all think about the sequel :)

[aethergate]

🌵🌵🍀🍀✨✨

🌵 x2 ; i'll recommend a canon rp blog !!

@braveparanoiac !! i'm on my gravity falls kick so of course i have to recommend prinnys ford. prinny has that really fine balance of ford being a self righteous bastard who i need to kick into the sun and also a genuinely endearing character who i can feel for down very well. ford and bill are at a constant tie for being my favorite gravity falls characters in my mind so i love that guy and i loveee how prinny writes him. @for-the-better-and-worse words cannot EXPRESS how much i eat up a's writing both in general and of prowl. we've both been through the gauntlet of having to read literally all of the IDW run which i respect hardcore. the amount of nuance applied when they write him is stellar, and it reflects in literally every aspect of his portrayal how deeply they understand him as a character and how much thought goes into writing him. idk how many of my mutuals are into transformers, but if anyone is i highly recommend following them cause they're a SUPER talented writer.

🍀x2 - i'll recommend an oc rp blog !!

@manebloom i LOOOOOVE dandie so much!! i love her design, her personality, the threads i've had with her, her verses, literally everything! that and creecher has always been a massive joy to talk to!! the art is stellar, and i love all their oc blogs, even tho i have grabbed dandie for this one. i love her down to earth personality that feels so warm. interacting with dandie feels like sunbeams coming through a window. very personable, very real way to write a character and an absolute JOY to write and interact with! @dreamsofalife i love shy so much. absolute joy to interact with and this perfect balance of being fun and, if i dare say it, quirky, and also very personable and every interaction always feels authentic. i always love anything shy has to contribute to the dash, i love seeing her dynamics evolve, and her interpersonal dramas. dash essentials in my opinion.

✨x2 - i'll recommend a multimuse blog

@quillheel a VERY solid and expansive list of characters with a very defined, amazing writing style! that and captain is a delight to talk to, and i love all our threads together. they have such well thought out in depth takes on characters, which is incredibly impressive considering how many they write! that, and the aesthetics are on point all while still being very easy to read and interact with! @adoranoia another super good blog with a super fun mun to talk to !! i love their selection of characters and how they have so many from different source materials that they've taken and given such a unique spin on, with a lot of extra flavor added in!

[hotcat37]

pls pls pls Käsh fic recs 🤲

KÄSH MENTIONED 🔥🔥🗣🗣 I'll try to strike a balance between ICIP universe Käsh and normal guys Käsh fics!!

by @morbid-things This is art and not a fic but idc everyone should look at it because Alistair COOKED and I'm obsessed with how well he drew Tommy being weird abt Jere <3 (the art where Tommy fingers Jere's wound is also highly recommended 👀)

by @lintubin2!! (I forgor to complete the tag lmfao) What is a Käsh fic rec list if not for Splinters.... This one is pretty hard to summarize, it follows Kä and Tommy after the ICIP mv and there were a lot of surprises in this fic. You will probably be disoriented and ugly sobbing by the end of it 👍 (would read it again ofc)

by @darkerthanblack-666!! An interesting look into ICIP!Käärijä's psychology and his relationship with Häärijä. I included it here because Tommy is important to the story and his relationship with Kä is kind of sweet in a fucked up way XD

by @hazzybat !! I am so sorry for recommending your drabbles out of all the amazing fics you've written but there's so many great concepts in there I just had to!😭 The princess! Jere x knight! Tommy and the one where Tommy does a handstand hit different ngl (bonus rec: their fic Hatefucking!! Angry Tommy fucks a forgetful Jere)

by @cinder-rose!! I'm sorry for dragging you into yet another fic rec list but I'm afraid you ate with this one. Big CW for somnophilia and drugging!! Tommy puts Jere to sleep and has his way with him 👀 Completely consensual, ethically questionable and somehow tender all at once

by chokeherout!! This is ABO which I am not into whatsoever but this fic is genuinely funny and the smut was so good I almost forgot I was reading an alpha/omega fic lmao 😭😂 It basically follows the music video plot but with the added sexy(?) twist ;)

by Natiushq !! Tommy and Jere in a shower, what will they do?😳 Tommy is such a menace in this and i love how Jere is genuinely puzzled by his attraction to him lol Part 2 is also excellent and there's interesting character study stuff in this one too :)

by BoldnotBrash !! Succubus! Käärijä AU 👀 Tommy is just really horny and going along for the ride (heh) so he can get laid 😭 Their interactions are rlly funny in this fic and the Succubus lore was genuinely interesting to read too!

by Rising_Starship_Phoenix !! Fic where Tommy is really into Jere's leather look ;3 Includes some light bondage, honestly just a fun fic where they mess around and admire each other's hot bodies <3

[thegeminisage]

ranking voyager characters from favorite to least favorite

i meant to do this at the end of season 1 and again after the finale but we'll just have to go with at the end of season 2 instead

seven of nine - i haven't met her yet but i just know.

janeway & tuvok - cop out to do a tie? possibly. they remind me so much of kirk and spock respectively. every time i go "oh no it's gotta be tuvok" it switches to janeway. every time i go "oh no it's gotta be janeway" there's another good tuvok episode. tuvok is such a wonderful look into vulcan culture through the eyes of someone who was not alienated from it and abused by it, and you never doubt his ability to get ANYTHING done, even if it's sketchy as hell. i think about his wife of 68 (almost 69! nice) years and his 4 babies and his orchids and his lute all the time. man can SING. on the other hand, janeway is such a breath of fresh air after deanna troi - who i love, but who was constantly victimized for being a woman. janeway just gets to be janeway - she's excited about exploration, she's deeply compassionate, and none of these things make her weak anymore than they made kirk weak. sometimes her adherence to her Ideals is a little picardian, but i forgive her, because she reminds me way more of kirk

chakotay - sometimes a man builds a bathtub and your opinion of him rises by. a lot. i've always liked the difficult position he was in of trying to balance maquis and starfleet interests and protect both sides from themselves and each other, but the ADDED LAYER that for much of the journey he has CANONICALLY been in love w janeway is simply too much to bear. also, i think his trust issues w betrayal are very gripping and they compel me. he has been through so much SHIT and i do love a little traumatized guy. ALSO also, they don't do enough w this in canon, but in my mind palace he and tuvok HATE each other (chakotay hates tuvok for being a spy, tuvok hates chakotay for nabbing first officer job), which i think is extremely funny

the doc - my best friend the emergency medical hologram...i like that he's a brand new kind of person, even if it brings up infuriating questions about the status of all these endless holodeck characters we create and then carelessly abuse or delete. he doesn't have a name! people treated him like he didn't exist! watching him come into his own and bond w kes has been one of voyager's great delights. also, gay king.

b'elanna - she doesn't always get a lot to do but when she does it's almost always good, racism episode notwithstanding. what i like most about her is how ride or die she is. she was willing to get her ass beat to give tuvok a tiny chance of escaping torture, she was willing to die to take down her own superweapon, she defended chakotay when his actions were entirely indefensible (AND she's secretly in love w him?? girl.), she will not hesitate to do any number of crazy things for Her People, and since she's estranged from her family or whatever they are all aboard this ship. you couldn't ask for a better friend than b'elanna and good for her. also, she gets to be gay with janeway about once a season so far which i've really enjoyed. she could do so much better than tom paris

harry - harry also rarely gets anything to do, but that makes his episodes all the more distressing. he's just a little guy! the so-called baby of the ship, until he was replaced by an actual baby with tiny adorable mother-killing spines on its head. i'm still mad that the really big important harry kim episode we got turned out to be such fucking garbage when the concept was SO good, and i'm not super hopeful for his future, but who knows. btw, he could also do better than tom paris. he and b'elanna could ride off into the sunset w/o him

kes - i don't dislike kes, and her scenes with the doctor are especially nice, but i feel like she, like deanna, gets victimized a lot, and her whole thing with neelix was so difficult it's hard to get the taste of it out even though it's over now. that said, i do love how compassionate and mischievous she is, and i love when janeway gets to give her mom hugs :( <3

neelix & tom paris - another tie. this is so difficult for me because i started out HATING tom paris and really liking neelix, and a few plotlines/episodes made me reverse my opinion. tom paris got a lot better when he was like yeah i decided i'm not gonna be a shitheel anymore! especially that he went on a multi-ep arc tricking us into thinking he was backsliding when really he was doing secret agent shit. props! but he's still not terribly interesting. neelix was AMAZING in the atom bomb episode but my interpretation of him as a guy who was gentle not in spite of but BECAUSE of past suffering didn't last long when he decided to be so fucking horrible to kes for no reason. i really want to get over it with neelix the way i got over it with tom paris, but for now they're both at the rock bottom of this list

for fun, i think my season 1 list would have looked like: janeway, tuvok, doctor, b'elanna, chakotay, harry, neelix, kes, tom paris. probably? it's hard to know now. we'll see how all this shakes out by the end of the series.

[spectascopes]

8, 11, 51 for the writer ask meme :D!!

8. Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?

if I'm READING I prefer the middle, if I'm WRITING I think beginnings are my favorite. Lots of potential... wind in my hair freedom... no rules just right... when I write fanfiction I don't meticulously plan a lot (just the general "where to go" and "how to approximately get there" vibes) so the beginning is like. WOOHOOOOOO lets go girls

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

Oh shit, does this mean MY fics or NOT MY FICS? I'll do both haha okay full disclosure I don't actually READ a ton of fanfiction, but I do read some! I'm going to take "right now" to mean "currently" SO in no particular order-

The Skeleton Games by Poetax is one I read not tooooo awfully long ago and really really enjoy. It's Underfell, and honestly the Sans in the fic is so far removed from like. Canon UT Sans that he's just his own separate guy but I LOVE HIM. The premise/world of the fic is really really great, like- the Underfell monsters just emerged after the barrier is broken, and the reader character is a vampire? Which is not a monster, WAS a human, and didn't get sealed underground so she knows nothing about monsters and monsters think vampires are made up human nonsense. I love that, and like I said, Sans is this little angry 4-foot-tall jerk so emotionally backed-up it might as well be pouring out of his stupid little mouth. I'm also a sucker for genuinely Rude Underfell Papyrus, I LOVE A CUNTY MAN ITS WHY I LIKE PAPYRUS IN THE FIRST PLACE, and the Papyrus in this fic is... really good.

Where Do Skeletons Come From by Kaliawai512 is really good, like- I love a good "Gaster made the skeletons" idea but this one goes a different route (or maybe just a parallel one...? hehe I dunno read it and find out) but like. It's got all the things I love. Papyrus-centric but still a very good look into he and Sans's relationship, a good balance of light-hearted fun, fluff, and a BIG hit of angst, and also Papyrus's offhand mention of wanting to be a mom taken so literally. I like when stories are set post-pacifist but pretty far into the future!! And yeah I'm biased bc I got to beta read this story haha BUT ITS REALLY GOOD. REALLY WELL TOLD. PAPYRUS IS A MOM.

Heart on the Table by Floofanflur! What can I say, I'm a sucker for angst and hurt/comfort (and angst and angst and angst-) and I read this one not too long ago and it's real good Frisk Angst. Frangst, as I call it. Really hits on the idea that monsters don't know what a human child looks like and they assume (genuinely or thru intentional turn-away ignorance) that they're somewhat grown. Also the poor child is constantly getting beaten bloody because monster attacks just TEAR THEM APART which is another thing the monsters don't seem to really understand/care about. Good fic real good fic :] I LOVE and REALLY WANT TO KNOW THE RESOLUTION to the whole "Mr. Angel" thing so I will wait so very patiently and read on.

Okay, gushing aside, if the question was about MY OWN FICS uhh. Phew. College Papyrus and his Human Tutor fic is really fun to write and I think it's going well, Battle Body Blues, and an older one, Two Bros and a Human! Of course obligatory "I love you Beef Man (Befriend the Man who Speaks in Hands) you're my one and only Beef Man" as it was the first multi-chapter fic I published and the feedback/support on that one definitely made me write, like, everything thereafter.

51. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Oh godddd. Well, on my Spectascopes account, statistics page tells me it's 534,984 words. Which is. Well that's a lot of words innit. Adding in the word counts from all the fics that were on the account I orphaned it's 611,864!

[starleska]

RAAAAH I got a job interview for my dream career field, my autism evaluator is deciding how Afflicted and Afflicted with what I am, I'm well rested, and I've had a great time talking to people today! I believe I am finally blinded by the hubris of my victories enough to tell you (and whoever may be following the saga of my ramblings in your askbox) what my Latest Fixation is! You can just dm if I say anything inane in my post-pleasant day delirium, or you can put me on blast, idc idc I'm losing my mind rn, I'm rotating this show in my head so fast.

👉👈 so...The show is called Longmire. It's an American, contemporary western, crime drama from 2012 based on the book series of the same name. It follows the titular Sheriff Walt Longmire as he tries to get his life together after the loss of his wife and solve crimes in his county and whatever he can around the neighboring Native American Reservation.

I say "whatever he can" bc The Reservation isn't actually within his jurisdiction and he's barely allowed to be there, bc they have their own police force, and THAT'S where THE GUY I keep trying to tell you about without telling you about comes in!

👉👈so...he's Tribal Police Chief Mathias Clark. Yeah I gotta say the whole thing.

We're first introduced to him when he tries to beat the ever-loving cowboy out of our protagonist for daring to show his face on The Reservation after arresting his boss, the previous Tribal Police Chief (albeit for crimes he did commit, but Walt didn't even wait for the federal police like he was supposed to, but...it was complicated, ok?)

I think he walks this nice line between upholding the law above all else; doing things often more by-the-book than any other character; being calculated and calm and sane (...despite that introduction); and, at the same time, being fiercely protective of his people and culture; considering Sheriff Walt and co. to be opportunistic, reckless, disrespectful threats and scarcely cutting them any slack and still giving them trouble when he finally does in any investigations that may lead them onto his jurisdiction; being willing to kick and bite (and occasionally blackmail, uh oh) to achieve everything he can for the good and well-being of his people on The Reservation, even if the people refuse to trust another Police Chief, or if it may cost someone else.

Ultimately, he holds the law in a very high regard but holds his people and culture higher. He's very limited in what he can do, as a tribal police chief, and he's set on being fair, but he'll do anything he possibly can to make The Reservation safe and ensure the people on it a good future. <3

Also he's got a lot of attitude and sass and is constantly mad at Walt and loves his people sm and its very endearing and funny and also don't fact check anything I've said today with a real long-time fan of the series unless I made him sound unlikable, I hope you're doing well plz take care okay bye AGAGGHAAAAA THE POST RANT CLARITY-

LORELEI YOU LITTLE LEGEND OMGGGG!!!!!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 honey i am so, so proud of you, that is absolutely amazing!!!! wow - makes me feel a lot better about a rough month that it's balanced out into a good time for a pal, eh? 🥰 ohoho FIXATION TIME!!! okay okay i am sitting cross-legged and listening eagerly :3c wow!!!!! oh my goodness first of all this show sounds so cool, i'm adding it to the watchlist immediately 👀 and second, hello Tribal Police Chief Mathias Clark!!! he sure is a handsome guy 😳😳 and from everything you've said about him, quite the catch (and exactly the kind of man you tend to fall for 😉) :3c he sounds like a wonderfully principled man who isn't afraid to protect those he cares about most...and you know what? i reckon you falling for him is a sign that you feel you deserve to be taken care of. which you do. that is so, so wonderful 💖🙈

i can imagine this is a series which touches on a lot of prevalent issues to do with the erasure of Native American culture and safety at the hands of American racism and police brutality...would you say this show does a good job of portraying that? it's not a subject i'm overly versed in being from the UK, and i'd love to get a better grounding on that even if in a fictionalised context. i'm not sure if you'd recommend the tv show or the books first, but you've certainly got me curious 👀 interesting that the first thing which comes up when you google his name is fanfiction - clearly you've got some competition in the fanbase, eh? 😉 you'd better be inviting me to the wedding!!! 🥳🥳🥳

[wildegeist-old]

🌏,🌌, 🎡, 🎁 These are for Arctos and Caregiver! Chose those four specific questions this time as they're both genuinely curious and also would make fun or funny answers I feel. (Also sorry I've sent two asks while you're at work XD)

It's okay since I get to them once I'm home :') Thank you!

... These answers are gonna have so much tonal whiplash.

🌏 Will they give up the world for someone they love? is this decision easy for them?

**There's two ways I can interpret this question. The first way I interpret it is "giving up the world" as in sacrificing things that are important to them. The second interpretation is "would I choose between saving the world and saving this person in a life or death case". I'll do both.

[ARCTOS]

Arctos would do just about anything for those he loves, especially Clara. He'd sacrifice every part of himself for her, and he'd sacrifice and risk a lot for anyone else important to him- without hesitation, because he values other people above himself. If it's a case of the second interpretation, oh boy, that's not an easy answer. He'd probably make the right choice in the end, but he'd have a hard time doing that, and it'd take a lot of convincing. I don't think he'd be able to handle losing her a second time if he did, though.

[CAREGIVER]

Caregiver hates everyone. That means if there happens to be an exception to that rule, yeah, he absolutely would, if we're talking about the second interpretation. He'd slaughter loads of people for someone he cares about and not feel a thing, I mean, he already kind of does that on the regular. Now if it's a case of giving up on things like his home and his dreams, that's a little more special. He'd most likely not do that though and turn on anyone who asked him to

🌌 What was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

[ARCTOS]

Ixirios is heavily inspired by old fairy tales and is themed around the idea of "spacefaring planet that never fully grew out of its renaissance era despite having advanced tech", so I wanted to give it history with some inspiration from classic fantasy, Arthurian legends, and fairy tales. I always thought knights were neat. Old legends and fairy tales also have common themes of "evil shadowy figures", who usually go "evil" after they're faced with hardship or loss, and "tortured fallen heroes who sold their souls to demons"- I see that trope in a lot of fantasy and I'm a sucker for it.

I noticed these characters are rarely really explored though, or even just stay bad guys who meet unfortunate ends with no chance to ever heal, so I went "what if the legends were a little twisted, and missing a bit of context? What if there's more to the story here? What if I focused on that tragic character and their pain? What if I gave that character another chance to be good?" and I put my own spin on it. Really, Arctos and Sableheart as a whole are a love letter to the fairy tales I grew up reading, but with a lot of personalization. :)

[CAREGIVER]

I can't trace any distinct inspiration. To be honest I mostly wanted to see how fucked up of A Guy I could make at first and make it a horror-themed character. Someone scary, but fun to work with and full of morbid humor. I needed to make more villains and the idea I had was something I felt would be refreshing. The bases of his character were that he's a robot (machine-specter/automa-specter), and that he's an "artist" who makes his "art" out of people, and turns them into monstrosities or fucked up home decor. Adding on to that I also wanted to balance it out by giving him a classy vibe, and make his kind of violence more calculated and precise than impulsive or chaotic. His character's grown a lot since then, but these were the starting ideas, and they've remained intact- they just have some extra depth and meaning now.

🎡 Are they someone who wants to kiss at the top of the ferris wheel?

[ARCTOS]

Arctos doesn't trust ferris wheels or theme park rides much, and would probably be too anxious to think of this while on one, if someone miraculously got him to agree to a ride. However, if Clara got the idea first, he'd probably appreciate the distraction. Emotional support kiss to cope with The Terrors (the questionable structural stability of theme park rides)

[CAREGIVER]

I mean... Caregiver canonically never has a love interest and is never going to, but if anyone's enough of a weirdo to actually want to date him, and he somehow likes them enough not to turn them into an "art project", he'd probably be down. But... why would anyone want to make out with Caregiver? Machine-specters are all tentacles, warped flesh, and tongues (lined with sharp-ass teeth by the way) underneath the metal. I think that would kill the average person.

... Nevermind. I forgot there's a demographic for that.

🎁 What types of presents would they be most happy to receive? are they good at gift giving?

[ARCTOS]

Arctos isn't very materialistic, he doesn't expect gifts or really actively want them, but he does appreciate the gesture. He'd mostly like things that are useful to him, books, clothing (since he does actually like fashion), or alcohol! He really likes fine wines and you can't go wrong with a good red. For gift giving, he'd probably go for something he already knows the person wants- so he's not a bad gift giver per se, but if he doesn't know, then he may be a bit more generic and gift them wine, if they're into that. He's also a huge fan of flowers (both giving and receiving), but that's reserved for romantic stuff. It's really more about the gesture than the item to him.

[CAREGIVER]

Caregiver likes receiving "prime, fresh material" for his "art projects". He'd be ecstatic if someone managed to reunite him with some of his "lost/runaway material" (people he was about to mutilate who escaped, or people he personally hates and wants to take apart), and he prefers them "fresh" (alive, he can't work with decaying tissue).

Sometimes he's very thoughtful and even gives his enemies warnings "gifts", made from some of his most fresh material! These are often things handcrafted by him, specially for that person! They always have quite the reaction. Isn't he generous?

[ravenstargames]

Super excited for the game!!! It looks so good so far!!!

I absolutely love how you guys made the MC more or less a blank slate, I find having a set appearance and solid personality to be a little bit jarring, but the way you are going to do it seems really good!

Btw, have you guys already found a proof-writer? If not, will you make a post searching for one or will you hire someone that you find online? Just curious since I'd be interested in the position.

Also... Xal 🥺🥺

Thank you for reading!

AWWW Anon!! Thank you so much! ; v ; 💜 Words like yours encourage us to keep working hard!

About the MC, I (as the writer) wanted to try and create a balance between 'the player can insert their own headcanons' and 'the MC has their own personality, dreams and aspirations', because I find the latter more engaging and easy to both write and empathize with. River has some established traits about them that the player can choose how to 'channel', but there's also quite the amount of things that are never specified about them, which I think helps create this balance. You will be able to test this in the demo, so I hope we can get a nice amount of feedback about it!

✦ About proofreading—we want to hire a proofreader, but sadly I'm not sure if we'll be able to properly pay for one with our current funds. All the donations we get on our ko.fi page are destined for this, but reality is the demo script is long and we want to pay people what their work is worth. There's a bunch of options we can weigh (and we still have plenty of time), but there's a chance the demo script will not be 'officially' proofreaded and we'll wait to get funded to hire someone to both revise the prologue and the rest of the game!

Also, now that you have brought up the MC's appearance, I will take the opportunity to talk a bit about our plans so far! I hope you don't mind, anon! 💜

✦ The MC's physical appearance?

Our current plan is to not have any visual depictions of the MC in the demo, but create a 'default' River for the full game so the CGs can be more diverse and include direct interactions between the MC and the LIs / the world. Note that we won't force the player to 'have to see' the MC on screen all the time if we end up choosing to depict them.

Following this train of thought, we would like to add a Kickstarter backer pledge that includes designing and adding a custom MCs as a 'default' option, and even a character creator whose customization is reflected in the CGs as a stretch goal. This is what we really, really would like to do; for the player to be able to customize the appearance of the MC however they desire (to a certain limit). Emphasis on ' would like to', because it's certainly ambitious and not an easy or cheap task. So these are just dreams and wishes for now.

Obviously, both depicting the MC or not doing it has its pros and cons, and we want to seize all options, listen to opinions and then settle on something. There's a lot of devs who have approached this in different, creative ways, so I know we have options and combinations out there.

In fact, Twin Coves' dev is now running a poll about this that you can find here!

Our plan is just that, a plan; it's not set in stone, and after the demo drops, we will make a poll to see how many of you would like one option vs the other and get to know your opinions. As of the demo, the MC won't have an established appearance and that is official, so rest assured that we will have time to listen to you all and assess our options.

Thank you for your kindness anon! 💜 I hope this wasn't a bummer or anything, we just want to be honest about our thoughts and our issues and everything else. Don't hesitate to send another ask if you have any other doubt, and know that Xal sends a huge smooch your way!

[adiarosefandoms]

2 Broke Girls Review

I heard of 2 Broke Girls after seeing a random cameo made by Kat Dennings in Sex and the City (I recognized her as Darcy in the MCU), and immediately set out to find a place to watch it. I found with a regular subscription to Amazon Prime, I could watch 3/4 of a season which would progress each Friday, adding new episodes and taking the old ones away. I immediately loved the show because Denning’s character Max is everything I like in a tv lead. Sassy, dark, funny, and capable. The farther we got along in the show the more I loved it, mostly because of Max and Caroline’s relationship and how these girls never got jealous of one another, which seems like a common plot whenever multiple female characters grace the screen. But the two despite their obvious differences loved each other so completely in one of the best on-screen female friendships I’ve ever seen. By the end I was completely in love. I liked that Max and Caroline’s first go at the cupcake shop was an overshot and ended up failing. I liked that in the end they got the shop placed next to the diner so they’d never part with it, and they adapted it as the world adapted to take on more than one thing (alcohol and cupcakes, which is the embodiment of Max and Caroline). I also really enjoyed the LA storyline because often when characters are out of their natural setting for more than two episodes, the story gets more and more odious. But I really liked the movie concept, and I adored Robbie. He was far the best love interest Max had ever had, and she had some solid ones. Namely the bartender and the dude who lived in the dumpster. (Can’t remember their names right now). We ended the show with Robbie coming back in a perfect moment and proposing to Max. Usually I find the proposal episode to be pretty cheesy (except the Monica and Chandler episode of Friends), but this was just amazing. I didn’t think it would happen and I was so happy in the end. Caroline’s movie had come out, and she met a nice, interesting guy she had immediate chemistry with. One of my favorite moments of the show is a little joke in the final episode was when Max made a joke about how her wish came true because she and Caroline don’t have to die together now, but then Robbie said, “You can die with us”, and that is why I like the relationships on the show. Never were guys pushy or annoyed with either girl’s friend. They adored them, and this line just made me fall completely for Robbie. But as the episode was nearing its end, I knew the show had been canceled. With only two minutes to go we find out that Bobby (Carolines boyfriend) and Randy had met before and loathe each other. We end the show with the two brawling outside the cupcake window with the girls infront. If they had just cut that last scene and made the boys shake hands, we could’ve ended the show perfectly. But originally a seventh season was in mind, so they didn’t do this and the show was canceled leaving us oh so satisfied in all ways, but one. Overall, I recommend the show because I really do adore it and will definitely rewatch it, but by just cutting out the final two minutes we could’ve had the perfect resolution to a six-season long show with the girls having good relationships and their cupcake shops, but still working at the diner with a zero-dollar account balance to bring it full circle. Nevertheless, I looked forward to new episodes every Friday and would give it a 9.5/10. I was never once bored watching it.

[apartmentnumber4]

Ugh sorry to rant about dumb media but like I’m gonna complain about the recent seasons of Stranger Things sorry

.

The first season of Stranger Things was so fucking iconic. It had the perfect balance of references to 80s media which it was taking inspiration from and it’s own extremely original story line. The lights on the wall, the eggos, Eleven’s dress and wig, it was all literally iconic and invaded the media and I think that’s a good thing.

Despite the fact that it was dealing with alternate dimensions and aliens and shit it felt somewhat grounded. I mean, a small town in 80s Indiana, that is my bread and butter right there (partially because I’m from Indiana but whatever). I wasn’t alive during the 80s but everyone that I know who was tells me that it was so right about everything. The brownness (Like the color) that pervaded, the DnD, riding on bikes, I know these aren’t exclusive to the 80s but it felt right. Even the fact that the kids were pulling names from their DnD both felt like a great plot point but also believable. Of course they would, if they weren’t into DnD these 12 year olds probably would have pulled their names from something else because that’s how kids are.

Even the second season was pretty good. It didn’t have the iconic-ness that the first season did, but the Mindflayer was still a decently scary villain, Will got more screen time, and at the end it seemed to wrap the story line up nicely what with Mike and El getting to go to the snowball, Will finally being safe, etc.

And then season 3 happened. I will maintain as I’ve said to IRL friends before that Season 3 and 4 feel as though the Duffer Brothers got contracted for 4 (actually 5) seasons, finished the story and 2, and then went “well shit now we have to keep this going.”

It started to rely why way more on the stereotypical 80s, with the neon colors and the mall and GAP, not saying that its necessarily bad but its a complete shift from the og mood of Stranger Things.

They keep adding characters that they immediately kill off. And like, Barb had a purpose in both season 1 and 2, Billy technically had a purpose (although I think he could have been left out if they had ended on season 2). But what did Eddie, as much as he is a fun character, actually add to the story? I love Bob, but did he add anything if they were willing to completely forget about him season 3?

They also went from fun monster hunting and honestly a seeming criticism of American government to going Russia bad (And I know that there is a war happening w Ukraine rn but it wasn’t when season 3 came out and also do you honestly think they’re doing that out of sympathy for Ukraine or to push an overall pro America agenda), and they’ve even sanitized the monster plots. The demagorgon was Iconic, but what has it been reduced to but a weird plot where Hopper and some Russians have to fight one (that looks so different from the original one) in a work camp/prison. The mindflayer was reduced to a shitty cgi blob, the demogorgon/demodogs are basically nonexistent, and now we have some shitty guy that looks like a cross between a burn victim and a tree stump.

It’s insulting! It’s not the original stranger things. Even the parts that people praise such as Will being officially gay feel awkward and lackluster.

They took a group of kids who obviously loved one another and made them seem to despise each other - and they can’t seem to give a clear answer as to why except “growing up.” There’s so much potential conflict but they ignore it for this dumb shit.

They sacrificed the original main groups (the kids, the teenagers, and the adults) for ~quirky duos~ such as Dustin and Steve, and while I always expected the groups to overlap some its not as fun when Steve and Dustin don’t even know what Mike, Lucas, or El (or Will) are doing because they’re off having their own independent adventure.

It outgrew itself. That much is clear. And I get that that’s what shows do and what getting a bigger budget does but it’s disappointing. Especially because I go online and see people lauding it and I feel like an idiot. Do you guys genuinely think Vecna is good character design? No seriously. I’m asking, because everyone seems to think so and in that case I can only imagine that I’ve lost my mind. Is Eddie really that interesting, or is he just easy to ship Steve with?

Please, if you agree with me reach out because I need someone to not just complain to but also discuss how I think it could have been done better.

[slimehatart]

Hello everyone!

I really feel like my Slime Team might need an addition to the group! Basically, who I really want is someone cheeky, who can act a counterbalance to dominant characters like Liora, Risebert and Ziyan.

Despite knowing I want someone new in the group and imagining his role and main dynamic, I can't really think of a nice design to complement the rest of the group aesthetically. I just started scribbling! See for yourselves.

(Previously unreleased picture of my character creation session. These are all men who were spontaneously created as potential Slime Team group members! - October 26th, 2024)

These characters were all created in one session, just going for different aesthetics and vibes. All of them could've become a member of the group, but choosing one is really difficult! I settled for one character to flesh out and try to go for. Come meet Oleander!

(Previously unreleased sketch of Oleander, a new guy who could've been the next team member! - October 26th, 2024)

My new man Oleander intrigued me the most during the drawing session, so I went for him. He kinda looks like a mix of Ziyan and Sarim and on top of that, he doesn't really look cheeky, he looks... evil? I imagined him bickering with the others and I couldn't help myself but feel like the others would straight up be afraid of him, so I kinda aborted the mission. I think I might keep him, but as a leader or member of another rival guild! There are no deeper plans right now, but I'll keep him, but as a rival.

Drawing him and trying to categorise his general vibes made me realise it is really hard adding a new character, and thus new energies and dynamics, to an already established group. Established is a really strong word here since most of the character dynamics exist in my head right now, but it made me chuckle to see how thrown off the balance felt when I imagined Oleander with the rest. This realisation made me want to make today's blog entry about roles and tropes of my main protagonists!

Generally speaking, Liora herself is cheeky and kind of bossy as I am imagining her. Also, Ziyan is pretty edgy and straight forward, so he too is a good counter measure for happy-go-lucky characters in the group such as Ed, Victorine and Miles. I want Risebert to be this charming man who will, while trying to charm the ladies, go on Ziyan's nerves, sparking a rivalry between them. But there is no one to grind... EVERYONE'S gears from time to time!

But I don't want someone too gloomy, because there is Ziyan on one side to fill this role. On the other side, I want to have fun with with that character, nothing too deep, just a little naughty guy who loves to tease. That, in return, has got to correspond with the character's looks. Some kind of foil to Liora, someone who can provoke the enemy but will run away along with the other cowards of the group!

Unfortunately, I think it's very hard to come up with male designs, because I never know what to do with hairs! But I might need to let my creative juices flow. Maybe I should use some kind of head accessory? Maybe goggles? It's so hard not to make the character too edgy like Ziyan, too bossy like Liora and too innocent like Miles - I want them to potentially have a great synergy with the new character, but not have the new character be a 2.0 of the other one. Let's see what I'll be cooking up!

Oleander now will either join a existing guild such as Pure Prosperity or a member of a yet unknown guild! I like him, so let's see where it goes with him! Character design is fun, but so hard!

That's it for today's blog entry. Thanks for reading. See you soon with another drawing and story to tell. Until then!! Take care!

[jimmycarterghostland]

The thing I loved the most about the Lorien Legacies series: The entertainment it provided. No matter what, these books were never boring. Sure, it had a bunch of flaws, but I was addicted to the LL series. I definitely don't like them as much as I did before, and I criticize them a lot. But they were so unique, had great heartwarming moments, an alien war, etc.

The thing I hated the most: Six and Marina letting their Mogadorian enemy Phiri Dun-ra live. Twice in two different books! They even refused to torture her. I will never understand that one. She was a sadistic, evil Mog, too. It makes no sense for them to have so much sympathy for her, especially when Six is supposed to be a Mog-hating ruthless warrior. And Marina is supposed to be in angry mode. Them not killing Phiri even got Dust killed! There are a lot of out of character moments that ended up being in the later books, actually. Like Nine being okay with Adam, even though Nine despises Mogs more than any other character. That was weird.

My favorite character: Five. I'm still annoyed that he wasn't the blonde girl everyone believed Five would be before The Fall of Five came out. I was disappointed when I found out he was a guy, especially considering Adam's first novella mentioned a second blonde girl who wasn't One. Five was supposed to be a girl. He was an interesting, tough character, though. I loved him.

My favorite Lorien Legacies book: The Power of Six. It had the perfect balance of action and "quiet" scenes. Plus, Crayton was awesome in this novel(and still alive). Olivia the Chimera was a cool, Mogadorian-killing beast. And the fights in this book were so great. Especially John and Sam fighting in the Mogadorian mountain base, and the fight in Spain. Nine, Crayton, and Ella were great additions to this series. I think The Rise of Nine was objectively the best book in the series, though. I just prefer The Power of Six more.

My least favorite Lorien Legacies book: I Am Number Four. It's not as good as the books that came after it.

Why you should read the series: It uses the Found Family trope well. You can tell the characters love each other as if they were family. There are great, unique fights. The plot is unique as well.

Why you shouldn't read the series: Many plot holes, inconsistencies, out of character moments, and some plot twists that should have been foreshadowed earlier but didn't get foreshadowed early enough. Another issue is that all the characters sound the same in their introspection. As in, this is a multiple POV book series, and every character uses the same vocabulary and has the same personality in their inner monologues. You don't get a good feel of how the narrators view things, unlike the A Song of Ice and Fire series, which has characters with unique voices, narrators who are distinct from other narrators in the series, with their own personalities and vocabulary. Also, the plot twists in these books are so freaking obvious. Some of them aren't foreshadowed early enough, though, and actually don't make sense. Like Henri saying in his letter that there was a Number Ten, referring to Ella, but in later books, Ella is revealed to not be a Number at all. This irritated me. You can tell the authors added this plot twist in without realizing that would screw up the established facts in the series. That happens a lot in these LL books. Also, the prose is bland and there are no amazing dialogue lines or any non-dialogue lines in this series. Nothing that might make you go "Wow, that's deep."

My rating: Two out of five stars. The books are entertaining. Unfortunately, they don't age well. They're badly written. The numerous inconsistencies are irritating and make it impossible to predict plot twists, because so much gets retconned(like the brown-haired Five being a guy when all signs pointed to him being a blonde girl). There is no beauty or deepness found in the prose. All the different narrators sound alike. Like, if all the narrators' names were removed from the pages, you wouldn't be able to find out which character is narrating the chapter, because their mindsets and vocabulary are all the same. There is no distinct character voice. If you want to know what I mean by that, I'll give an example. Picture a novel with two different narrators. An old man and a five-year-old boy. A good writer would make the 5yo use simpler words in his narration. Like mentioning a building he's walking past as "big" instead of "huge". Or maybe he sees dogs mating and thinks they're wrestling, while the old man narrator would know the dogs are mating, and maybe he refers to the building as "huge" instead of big. Stuff like that is what I mean by distinct character voice. The Lorien Legacies series doesn't have that. All the narrators have the same lexicon in their prose. Same vocabulary. And they view the world in the same way the other narrators do, which is a problem when you're writing a multiple point of view novel. I don't recommend anyone reads the Lorien Legacies series.