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anotherkindofmindpod · 5 years ago

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I just read both interviews, Part 1 and 2 of Jann Wenner's Rolling Stone Interview of 1971. It sounds as though John and the other Beatles DID have a realistic gripe about Paul taking over, directly projects, handing out musical assignments, etc., etc. and I'm sure he had the ego by this point to match! I would probably have become irritated by Paul as well. And no hints or even reading between the lines of John being emotionally hurt by Paul with regard to loss of intimate relationship.

Hello and thanks for writing in, Listener!First, I’d like to point out that we haven’t reached the Lennon Remembers portion of our Break-up Series, and will dig into it much more thoroughly in a future episode (stay tuned!).

Presumably this ask isn’t in response to anything we’ve actually discussed on the podcast, in which case I feel that I should explain that what we do on our show is reevaluate conventional wisdom and contextualize public statements within the realities of actual behaviors. In other words, not taking things like Lennon Remembers at face value is AKOM 101.

If what we were doing on this podcast was as easy as simply reading the most infamous interview John Lennon ever gave (the one upon which the conventional story of the Beatles break-up is founded), it wouldn’t be much of a podcast or a very groundbreaking analysis, would it?

Second, I’d like to mention that listeners/readers can hear the entire (3.5 hours!) interview on You Tube. Very evocative with audio! Wenner’s editing in the print versions often make John sound more coherent and less vitriolic towards everyone but Paul than the audio reveals (i.e. the shitty comments about Paul are always printed but the ones about George, Brian, etc often aren’t).

Next, we’d like to state the usual disclaimer (which everyone is probably already aware of but is a good reminder anyway!): John later disavowed this interview. In fact, he was so angry at Jann Wenner for publishing it as a book, it apparently created a permanent rift between the two. You may choose to view/value this interview as John being super honest, but please consider that in this allegedly “truthful” book/interview, John:

claims George is musically/creatively inferior to John

declares the McCartney album “rubbish”

reveals his belief that he and Paul’s confidence levels are intrinsically, inversely related to one another

says George was so aggressively rude to Yoko that John wished he would’ve punched him over it

proudly admits that he “maneuvered” the other Beatles to get Klein in as manager

bemoans the fact that everyone says Brian Epstein was so great “just because he’s dead” and that Brian cheated and robbed the Beatles

makes derisive comments about “fags” at least five times in the printed version alone and calls Lee Eastman “a wasp Jew, man, that’s the worst kind of person on earth.”

admits to lying in interviews and deflects accountability on the basis of being “just a guy” who mouths off about stuff

As for Paul, John is admittedly all over the place, swinging fairly wildly from nostalgic (reminiscing about having “a good mind like Paul’s” on his side and co-writing with their “fingers in each others’ pies”) to bitter (”Paul thought he was the Beatles,” etc).

As for the accusations that Paul was tyrannical, we’ve addressed these before (particularly in Break-Up Episode 2). Just as Geoff Emerick, Michael Lindsay Hogg and Doug Sulpy (and even John, when he was feeling more generous) have articulated, we too feel that Paul stepped up and led the band in a time of need and deserves unequivocal credit for that. We believe much of the subsequent complaining from the other Beatles is akin to the kind of griping one directs at a colleague who gets promoted (“who died and made you king!?”) and while some of it was likely based in genuine irritation at Paul’s communication style, much of it was probably petty. This is why we are looking at the situation from all angles, to get a better sense of what is reality v. spin. In any case, we don’t dispute that there were power struggles within the band.Any reader is free to choose John’s side in any/all of these battles. But our overall takeaway from this particular interview is that John was unloading a lot of pent-up rage; against teachers, fans, Aunt Mimi, his mum, critics, Paul and anyone else who didn’t properly recognize his genius and praise him for it.

“That’s what makes me what I am. It comes out, the people I meet have to say it themselves, because we get fuckin’ kicked. Nobody says it, so you scream it: look at me, a genius, for fuck’s sake! What do I have to do to prove to you son-of-a-bitches what I can do, and who I am? Don’t dare, don’t you dare fuckin’ dare criticize my work like that. You, who don’t know anything about it.”

Based solely on Lennon Remembers, one could reasonably believe John didn’t like anyone but Yoko and Allen Klein (of whom he also speaks with reverence). Fortunately, John gave a million other interviews in his lifetime, so even though this one is given a disproportionate amount of weight (probably b/c it is the most inflammatory and “raw”) we can compare John’s comments, behavior and art over a broad spectrum of time. We feel this gives us a better, more thorough and more authentic portrait of John’s POV. This is a good idea with ANY public figure, but especially important in John’s case, since, by his own admission he has a tendency to say what he feels in the moment and doesn’t necessarily stand by his own statements afterwards.

John in 1976: “I get a bit absolute in my statements. [laughs] Which sometimes get me into deep water, and sometimes into the shallow.”

To your other point, our overall impressions about John’s feelings regarding “loss of an intimate relationship” with Paul certainly do not hinge on Lennon Remembers, nor have we ever suggested they do. In fact, LR is commonly used as the primary proof-point by McCartney detractors and Lennon/McCartney deniers (those who willfully and sometimes passionately ignore and/or deny the deep love between John and Paul, as described by John and Paul themselves and everyone in their lives) that Paul was a tyrant who destroyed the Beatles with his massive ego.

We have never disputed the existence of Paul’s ego. But consider this: John refers to himself as an egomaniac REPEATEDLY throughout this interview. Why is there a loud faction of people who consider John being an avowed egomaniac perfectly reasonable (sexy even!), but find it unforgivable that Paul is the same way? Consider these excerpts from Lennon Remembers:

Do you think you will record together again?

I record with Yoko, but I’m not going to record with another egomaniac. There is only room for one on an album nowadays.

How would you assess George’s talents?

[…] Maybe it was hard for him sometimes, because Paul and I are such egomaniacs, but that’s the game.

Who do you think is good today? In any arts…

The unfortunate thing about egomaniacs is that they don’t take much attention of other people’s work. I only assess people on whether they are a danger to me or my work or not.

[Tangential]

But the Beatles were artists, and all artists have fucking’ big egos, whether they like to admit it or not […]

Yes, John rants repeatedly about Paul’s ego during this interview- while he simultaneously declares his own genius and artistic superiority over others. We find it mind-boggling how this irony continues to evade some people, but there it is.

George Harrison has repeatedly complained about BOTH John & Paul’s egos (and their shared ego IRT “Lennon/McCartney”), but again, this is often ignored in favor of singling out Paul as the villain.

Furthermore, it’s helpful to bear in mind when consuming Lennon Remembers that John and Yoko had received training in media-messaging by this point and were very savvy at Public Relations. We know from people close to them that they drafted their stories in advance before offering them to the public. This fact, combined with Lennon’s tendency to “mouth off” means we have the right and responsibility to question and examine John’s claims rather than simply parrot them mindlessly.

If you are genuinely interested in our take, we recommend our Break-Up Series. We think you will find it well-researched and thoughtful, even if you disagree with some of our conclusions.

Or if you simply dislike McCartney and find him “irritating,” that’s fine too. Not everyone has to like everyone!

For additional discussion/analysis of Lennon Remembers, I recommend any of several threads on Erin Torkelson Weber’s site, the Historian and the Beatles.

the flawed lens of Lennon v. McCartney

Jann Wenner’s bio

how Rolling Stone shaped the breakup

discussing a podcast appearance

Thank you so much for this ask! It is always a pleasure to share information. Have a wonderful day.-The AKOM crew

#Lennon Remembers #John and Paul #jann wenner #anotherkindofmind podcast #Beatles #HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

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triple-a-enderdragon · 5 years ago

Link

End of Act 1

But far from over

First | Previous | Next

Something was very wrong, that much was apparent. Without checking his comms, Tango knew, as he had with Cub and Xisuma, that Iskall was dead. That's not what was so troubling, though. The flash of blue and the sudden horribly alien glee rippling through him freaked him out.

Now, more than ever, Tango needed to focus. Never mind that every hermit who came to watch was also dead, but Iskall dying was critical and Tango didn't have time to find out why.

He could hear TFC–or Earth, rather–directing Stress and Grian to stay in position, and for that he was grateful; he could focus on what he needed to do.

Which was–he now realized–to facilitate a little chat.

~~~

He never felt himself hit the ground. One instant he was falling in incredible pain, the next he was standing in front of a massive pillar of fire.

Iskall expected to be afraid, but he wasn't. He was furious; part of him realizing the fury wasn't entirely his own.

As the pillar of flame walked closer to him, a voice rang through the thick air:

How dare you.

The pillar stopped. Again, the voice rang out:

How dare you.

The pillar looked as if it would speak, but it never got the chance; it disappeared in a flash of smoke. Behind the clearing smoke, however–

Was Xisuma.

Xisuma's base was a whirling inferno. The only thing keeping the four avatars from burning was Tango's sheer will; a will he directed at the inferno itself.

"Fire! As I am bound to you, so you are bound to me! Answer!"

I need not answer you!

Tango looked at Fire grimly. "You already have." He layed his hand on the altar's southern point, the other avatars mirroring him.

Do you even know what that does?

"I do," said Earth, calm and unfazed. "It calls forth the wronged, and you have just committed a grave mistake without considering the consequences."

Another flash of brilliant blue light and Fire was thrown into the wall, a sparkling diamond figure where he had stood.

How dare you! You thought I wouldn't interfere!?

Wh–I don't understand–

Because you don't think! You never think! Now your avatar has to do it for you!?

"X?" Iskall, still in shock, was trying to process everything. "I thought you were dead. Or am I dead?"

"We're both dead. Though, I'm wondering who the diamond-blue person behind you was; he seemed furious," said X, looking past him.

"Diamond? Huh." Maybe that would explain a few things. "What have you been doing this whole time?"

X looked amused. "Saving you and Python from mobs of pigmen for one."

"Ah, that was...quite nice. Thank you."

A pause.

"So now what do we do?"

What have you done with him!?

Nothing yet! Why would you even care!?

Why would I care!? WHY WOULD I CARE!? Surely you can't be this blind. Release him!

As if I'd listen to the likes of you.

Don't make me force you.

Oh, you're threatening me? Is this how you want to handle this!?

YOU WRONGED ME.

...

RETURN HIM.

For a moment nothing moved but sparks and embers. The internal conversation that took place must have made an impression; Fire's flames dampened. He seemed almost afraid.

...alright geez. Calm down.

A flash of light.

Joe was kind of glad he hadn't gone. When he'd asked Cleo if she wanted to watch the spectacle, she'd reminded him about Cub, and about how he might wake up alone and utterly confused. And even though Joe was ready to go outside and safely die from a creeper-induced heart attack, she was right. He thrived on confusion, but that would be just tacky.

They had been conversing quietly—Cleo was telling him of a weird dream she had earlier—when an explosion went off, in the distance, from the direction of X's base. Joe could think of a few reasons why that would happen, but none of them were good. Evidently, Cleo came to a similar conclusion and started to head outside.

But before they could make it far, a noise could be heard from the Ministry.

Cub was waking up.

Whatever panic Python had when Iskall passed out in the tunnel now returned tenfold. As he laid Iskall's body next to X's, he tried his best not to think about his situation. He already disliked the Nether; hours and hours of quartz mining had seen to that. Now, alone with no foreseeable way out, Python knew he would never go back in if he could help it.

But all that dread soon turned to relief as two of his friends, one just recently taken, started to stir.

~~~

Several days had passed since Cub found himself in the Ministry and X, Iskall, and Python walked out of the Nether. Outwardly, things returned to a normal rhythm. But know everyone knew they weren't alone. Besides the Four Cardinal Directions��as they were now known–no other avatars were revealed. Some hermits, however, had their suspicions.

X had been in his base for the past day or so, sifting through world data. He had suspicions on a few counts, and both had finally borne fruit.

First, he'd confirmed his (suspicions) about the shadowy being who approached him years ago. They had been an Element from the End, yet his encounter with them left him scarred and definitely not an avatar. He hadn't yet found why.

His second findings were on the diamond-blue person and his connection–if any–to Iskall. And hoo boy, was there a connection. There was the same connection between the two of them as there was between Tango and Fire, or Stress and Water. Iskall was Diamond's avatar.

Curious, X had searched the other hermits for a similar connection, and found two. Doc and Ren. Doc had been fairly easy to figure out; his scary ability to mold redstone to his liking, his eerily accurate diagnostics on whatever was wrong with a circuit, his strange cybernetics. Doc was Redstone's avatar.

But Ren. Ren was a mystery. The only reason X had figured out Iskall and Doc's Elements was because he already had had an idea of who it could be; but with Ren, he had no such idea.

All X could do now was wait.

~~~

"I don't know why I wasn't killed by the magic blast, Tango. I was kind of hoping you would know."

"But you were killed when you hit the wall..."

"Are you trying to figure out why?"

Tango looked at Zed, amused. "And you don't want to know?"

Zed laughed, saying, "I just thought it was my wonderful personality."

"To save you from a incredibly powerful magic blast?" Joking as they were, Tango was deep in thought. And in a situation like this, there was only one thing to do, experiment!

~~~

As he approached the entrance to the Stock Exchange station, Mumbo was pleasantly surprised to not hear angry yelling. Entering the station proper, he couldn't immediately see Doc, but he knew he was here.

Sure enough, Doc was working on the departure/arrival area of track, fine-tuning the minecart dispensing and re-uptake system.

"Doc? You here, mate?"

A head poked up from behind the platform. "Yeah, man. What's up? Checking in on me?"

Mumbo looked a little sheepish. "Yeah, kind of. You all right? Redstone no longer going haywire?"

Doc climbed out of the rail pit and looked at the vending machine. "No, it's weird. After this whole 'Element' dealio, everything's gone back to normal. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I don't really want to know, either."

"Yep, I can understand that. don't want to mess with anything."

"Yes, that."

They both stood in companionable silence for a few moments before Mumbo asked, "So, you want any help with this one?"

Doc looked at him, amused. "If you're up for it, then I won't turn you down."

As they worked, Mumbo was constantly amazed by how intimately Doc knew his redstone circuits, able to pinpoint exactly where a change needed to take place without needing visual contact with it. Between the two of them, redstone powerhouses in their own ways, the minecart circulation system was one of the most beautifully constructed machines either of them had seen.

~~~

"They really aren't leaving you alone, are they?"

"I feel like they think I've been away too long."

Stress laughed as one of the huskies tugged on Iskall's sleeve as he tried to leave the lab. "And what makes you think that?"

"Hercules! Honestly! I'm not going very far! Sit!" Hercules obediently, if a bit reluctantly, let go of Iskall's sleeve and sat. "I'll be twenty minutes, and I'll be back, ok?" Iskall scratched Hercules' ears and said, "Good boy. I'll be back soon, I promise." Hercules whined, but stayed put.

Finally able to take off, Iskall went after Stress, who was already in the air, waiting for him. When she'd contacted him about the ice farm (of doom), he welcomed something fresh to do.

"From how he acts, you'd think it's been weeks since he last saw you," said Stress as they flew side by side.

"Well, he's always been more attached to me that Venus is. Besides, I think he could feel what I went through. You ever had that feeling? That your dogs know what you go through?"

"That hadn't really occurred to me, but now that you mention it, I could believe a few of them do." Stress paused for a moment, before continuing, "The rest, I'm not to sure about."

The rest of the way to the ice farm, they chatted; mostly about their animal companions and future plans for the lab.

~~~

It was dark. The sun was far overhead, but under the dense jungle canopy, it was dark. A shape edged through the shadows, careful to not disturb whatever might be lurking beyond them. A parrot, intrigued by this movement, perched nearby and started chattering.

"Where did—? Shush! Not now, dude!" Ren was desperately trying to quiet his stubborn new friend, who was quite happy to argue back.

"Of course I can handle myself, I'd just rather not tangle with anything if I can help it! Don't you have someone else you can bother?" Ren listened to the bird. "Fine. Come along if you must, but please. Be quiet!" The bird settled herself on his shoulder, quite pleased.

Now thoroughly distracted, Ren had to get back on track. He was looking for an ocelot, though why he wasn't quite sure. Even if he did find one, he wasn't sure he could get very close. He wasn't stealthy like Python, or fast like Grian; and ocelots were notoriously difficult to negotiate with. Negotiating was still his best bet.

It took the better part of an hour for him to glimpse a flash of yellow in the dense foliage. Crouching down, he once more impressed the importance of silence to his parrot passenger; he didn't want to spend more time than he had to out here. She ruffled her feathers and stayed quiet.

When he moved closer, Ren heard a small mew. Tentative, inquisitive.

"No, I'm not going to hurt you." He listened to the ocelot meowing, answering, "No, nothing like that. I just want to talk."

As the ocelot slowly crept from it's hiding place, Ren became aware of a gentle green glow from behind him. Turning around, a figure seemed to emerge from the trunk of the nearest tree. If that wasn't enough to make him faint, she spoke.

Welcome. The forest has accepted you, you are finally ready. Come, walk with me.

Utterly shocked, Ren fainted dead away. Maybe it was a bit to much.

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leslogames · 4 years ago

Text

Layers

Wow, what a Ludum Dare last weekend. 72 hours to make a game based on a theme, this time being: “Deeper and deeper”. Normally it takes me a huge chunk of the time trying to think of an idea I want to explore, this time was no different, but actually the time where less I knew what I was doing for the longest time. This is a journey in detail of how I designed the game:

------------------------------------------------------------Brainstorm

Ludum Dare started 3 AM here, so I decided to go to sleep prior to the announcement of the theme, and handle it next morning. I spent most saturday just blocked without any interesting idea to pursue, however, there where two concepts that kept coming back to me:

Digging game, but with water, which spreads when there is space to the right, left or bottom. This would affect the character, making him float, having a sort of “Snake and ladders” situation.

Fossils card game. Having a board with dinosaurs, different cards for different type of soils, in each turn players would place those cards over the board, creating piles that players would have to dig in a second phase of the game.

Whenever I’m looking for jam ideas, there are two big questions to ask “Do I want to make the game?”“Can I do the game in that time?”, very early on I need to know that there will be some art-light way of presenting the game to the player, since I’m not a good artist, and that the programming will be bounded enough.

------------------------------------------------------------Blind work

At night, I was dry. No clear goal, no line of mechanics, no concept of game, no hint of the art and no focused path. I didn’t even open the game engine yet to prototype anything.

“At this point I should be making something, anything”

Opened Game Maker 2, and, inspired by the two previous ideas, I decided to start with the art, trying to make a sprite that could work both as a tile and as a card. Of course, I started with water.

Somehow, I got into the flow of drawing tiles, and made some more. I got a nice looking physical tile look that draw my attention, and worked on a free space spot where these tiles would fit.

End of day 1.

------------------------------------------------------------Rules

The physical look of the tiles made it weird to make a side view digging game, but I still wanted to explore this idea. I started creating a player character (a cursor), with a movement affected by the tiles the character was in.The first rules I made where:

Empty: player falls south / gravity. Water: player floats north / buoyancy. Fire: ice movement (ironic)

This batch of 3 simple rules was extremely corner casy, like an infinite loop between water and empty, or ending on fire at the edges of the screen. I tried a couple of variations to make it feel right, but it wasn’t making any sense.

However, I liked the idea of moving around the tiles, so worked from there:

Tiles affecting adjacent tiles: The player movement could be normal, but have some stats (life, oxygen, speed) affected by the tile they were in, and after X number of turns, tiles would affect its surrounding. Again, some unintuitive cases made the system unpleasant (fire next to water, who wins?)

Character actually acting as a cursor to select things: I really disliked this approach, a mouse input system would make much more sense. It also felt closer to a match 3 game, that I wanted to avoid, so players wouldn’t be influenced by an existing genre.

Character movement affecting tiles: Ah! This was interesting! It was easy to define rules, the player had much more control over the board and the number of things that happened per turn were limited to 1, making much readable. Got some rules in that made the system playful and unbalanced before letting it rest.

------------------------------------------------------------Sound

Break from design to make some sounds to have a better idea of how the game felt, good sounds can really help understanding a game and allow for more minimalist animations.

I looked for some sounds in freesound.org, and treated them with audacity, combining, removing noise, cutting, adding small effects...

After that I opened Ableton to start composing a main theme for the game. I usually start finding a pair chords + sound preset to get going, after that, a simple melody and some beats. I then copy and paste the number of bars a couple of times, making a couple of variations (no drums here, melody ends differently...), find a spot for a drop down, adding a couple of instruments and followed to reintegrating all the elements in a more uniform composition.

This is the first time that I made the audio in the second day instead of the last, and I really appreciated being able to listen to everything for a longer period of time, to find the weakest spots and change them if possible/necessary (I unfortunately didn’t have the time to polish the song, sad emoji).

------------------------------------------------------------Objective

I jumped to the design to figure out what the game was about before going to sleep. The temporary set of rules I had was clear about something, there were elements that were predominant, and had more chances to end up overpopulating the screen; I needed a way to get rid of tiles.

At this point, I was pretty convinced that I needed to make the game about sedimentation and fossils being preserved, digging was at this point pretty unrelated, and if not, the game would be completely out of the jam’s theme.

To better represent the sedimentation I needed to stack the tiles, and that implied that the information was much less readable once they were stacked. I needed a way to let the player understand the quality of their performance by solely looking at the grid.

I created an automatic system that after X moves a new row would appear on top, and the bottom discarded to the sedimentation pile, that would be the “final score”. Since information needed to be on the grid, every tile should have a clear value to the player, being the lazyest option: points. Another score attack game.

I don’t think points are the funnest stimulous, but they get the work done in a game jam, and I find very fun designing fair system points; there is something pleasant about finding numbers pattern matching what you think it’s fun about the game.

End of day 2.

------------------------------------------------------------Play

After spending the morning making the gameplay loop to work, it was time to play with a more critic mindset. Some weak points I noticed:

The automatic counter condition (X moves) felt claustrophobic, every move mattered, so it wasn’t only deciding how to alter the elements but finding the optimal path. Also, the system creates kind of a dynamic laberinth, where the direction you enter a tile matters, meaning that detouring is a necessary technique for getting the best boards; hence penalizing movements was contradictory. Focusing only on turns where there was some change in the grid seemed to be a much more interesting approach (This was much clearer because I already added the SFX for the “special” moves while there was nothing for the “normal” ones.)

Rock power up (Pushing a row or column) was very strong, if you managed to have two, it was most of the time the best move to make, allowing to change the positions of 5 tiles in a single turn. I needed to limit the number of uses, specially given that I wanted this to be the tile with more value, creating a tension between the powerup and the points it would give.

Air powerup (swapping with any tile) was really weak in comparison to stone, and I wanted both to be seen as “items”, limiting its uses too. I decided to make air actions free, but I regretted it later.

Fire was rarely useful, and only something you wanted to extinguish as soon as possible. Adding a new positive interaction could create more interesting decisions of when to extinguish it. I looked at the possible interactions of the fire with existing tiles, and created a new tile, sand, made by drying mud. I added a couple more interactions to make it part of the system (mud + air: sand, water + sand: mud)

Polishing the values of the tiles after seeing what a random run’s score was, the ideal to me is that the score is near zero, so I decreased the value of all tiles by 1. I also reordered the values so the “heaviest” tiles were the best, trying to match the theme, as well as making the most valuable tiles not appear directly on the grid (a new line is made first by fire, water, grass, mud and one empty space, and then change one random place to another empty space).

Intuitively I chose a maximum of 8 rows, so runs were short, but long enough that empty spaces could ruin the score, making the management of those key for the best scores.

------------------------------------------------------------Tutorial

This is usually my nemesis. I tend to underexplain the mechanics and system of my games and players normally struggle to understand what is going on; I’m in a never ending journey to a middle ground between giving enough information to get started but never holding the hand of the player.

In this case, despite seeing the special moves as simple individually, there were a lot of them, so teaching all of them was not an option: it was too much information at once. However I should explain the difference between a normal move and a special move.

First time doing an interactive tutorial, and I think the result is good, there is a small of initial information, given step by step, and that instead of giving away everything, stops by encouraging players to explore and explicitely acknowledging the lack of explanation. It works much better, although it isn’t everybody’s cup.

Probably the biggest flaw is not pointing towards the UI elements (tile values and highscore list), which was the part of the game the least understood (I misjudged the clarity of those). I also regret forcing the tutorial to stop, instead of allowing to experiment freely until the player pressed or hold a key to start the first run.

------------------------------------------------------------Polish

Nothing interesting here, except that for the sake of consistency, I made the air power up cost a special move very late, without balancing further, making it a tile that felt more as a punishment than a tool. I will probably add a couple of rules to it after the jam ends to make it more valuable. The rest was adding visual polish, mainly to the score system which was the last thing I added.

End of day 3

------------------------------------------------------------End

This is layers: https://le-slo.itch.io/layers

#game design #postmortem #game #indie #design #video games

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teacupesque · 4 years ago

Text

I'm going to make a post right now that's going to be a huge downer, my apologies. Please scroll past this if that's not for you rn.

----------------------

I'm mostly doing this is be heard in some fashion and let off steam, because truly I have nobody to talk to who will actually listen to me as a person.

My parents really, really, like my partner. I get that they haven't liked me as a person in forever. That's ok, some parents don't. But they don't want me to break up with him.

They like him more than me. They know his likes and dislikes and always tell me to reconsider or rethink starting over somewhere when I bring it up. That I should be quite sure that's what I want. No matter how many times I mention that I feel helpless and hopeless and dread filled. They also constantly misgender me and bring up uncomfortable church belief stuff which is awkward bc it's the same church that let everyone single me out for bullying and isolation.

My partner is good person. Sort of. He doesn't hit me and seems kind to people. But he also doesn't ask me about my day after I ask him. He doesn't start any sort of chores unless I ask no matter how many times I send that mental load comic or have that conversation about not wanting to be the manager all the time. He doesn't care about my interests. He'll talk all day about his board games and figures and not think twice about my dolls or video games I like. He can't cook. He gets incredibly defensive at criticism about starting things on his own or trying to learn new things by himself.

He's doesn't try to please me in... Other respects. No amount of hours and hours of talking and reading and recommendations or telling him something hurts works. I don't get it. I'm good at it for him. So many books and explanations wasted.

We bought a condo together with his parents money. He says it's ours and the money was a gift and it's fine to have it but it makes me feel incredibly guilty. Having money makes me feel guilty if I didn't earn it myself. His parents like me and I can't get to know them bc I don't want to be here.

I can't run away because of this. I work in tech and most of all the money goes to bills. I don't have many marketable skills and the material I'd have to study for these certs is so boring I'd rather self harm than try to go through the videos. (I'll run my hands under cold water till they hurt and warm them again I til the welts go away to stop any real harm from being done) it literally burns to try to work though the info. I can't bring myself to do it.

Bc no certs means no money and I can't make enough to live on my own as I am now.

Also, the people in my workplace took the comptia test pre 2011 so they had 1 test to take that was maybe a hundred for the ticket. Nowadays that's two tests at 219 a voucher each. IF you pass. You have to get recertified every three years.

My four year degree doesn't mean squat apparently.

I hate my body, it hurts every day and the new medication is working for the physical pain but I can see how much the mental pain affects me. Cbt doesn't do anything. I've tried for years with multiple therapists.

Almost got a 365 badge for meditation in 2019. None of the normal stuff is helping that works for other patients. The brain meds they prescribed make my body hurt in other ways. I've stopped taking them under the supervision of my doc but it's just another way I'm broken in a way that can't be fixed.

Bc I'm broken it's hard to keep or start relationships, so I have no support circle. No one loves me for me, not even platonically. I've never gotten the chance to date anyone else. I started dating him during the abusive roommate phase and clung to him for normalcy during that time. I don't know how to make friends that don't hurt you or steal your stuff. Everyone seems nice at first. I don't have good judgement of people.

I don't want to be in this state anymore. I don't want to be in this house anymore. I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. I don't want to be in this broken body anymore. I want to be seen as a person. I want friends that I can causally call up to watch stuff with.

I can't run away because we'd have to sell the house. I'd have to tell both sets of parents that I've wasted their time and stole their money. I'd have to start with nothing, with no one, going nowhere.

I think I'd have a complete mental breakdown on top of the one I'm currently having. I wish I could hire someone to help me disentangle my life from his and start somewhere stable and afresh.

#tomatotalk #tw angst

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winnwinn-moved · 7 years ago

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heaven on earth

doyoung - fluff - 3258

ah summer vacation. the ideal time for swimming, for surfing, for soaking up the sun. summer vacation means no rules, no worries, no problems. summer vacation is supposed to be the absolute best part of the year. and so far, summer vacation has been going pretty okay. so maybe it’s been more than okay, it’s been pretty amazing because you’re spending almost every single day with your best friend (and crush), doyoung. and you’ll soon be spending every single day with him down at the beach. yes, the beach, with the crystal clear waves, and oh so warm sand, and the best ice cream on the face of the planet. a few weeks ago, doyoung has casually mentioned that he and a couple friends (taeil and yuta to be exact) where heading down to the beach for a week of rest and relaxation.

it sounds nice, in theory.

really, it does.

but then the car ride started.

taeil’s little red corolla seemed really nice at first. it was enough space for the four of you to feel comfortable, yet close enough that you could still talk to everyone and reach over to the radio to change yuta’s kyary kyary pamyu mixtape. the trunk also has enough room to hold of your luggage too. the air conditioning works, the motor runs smoothly, and fate just so has it that you and doyoung are the two sitting in the back row. oh, and sharing a blanket. a fuzzy red blanket that doyoung draped over your legs three minutes into the ride because he saw you were shivering.

the first three hours of the car ride passed by quickly. most of the driving was through cities and on major roads, so there was always plenty to see. the numerous road signs provided you and doyoung at least an hour of fun, and you discovered that doyoung is much better at the alphabet game than you could ever hope to be. the billboards, ranging from “real christians obey god” to “savannah’s gentleman club” and your possible favorite “real human hair wigs”, had you and doyoung cackling for hours while taeil and yuta glanced back, whispering about how cute you two are. even when there weren’t signs to entertain the two of you, doyoung seemingly could talk for hours and hours and hours, and you realized that this could actually be kind of�� fun.

but then you left the familiarity of the city and entered the great open country. for miles, all you can see is corn. and more corn. and the occasional water tower. you wonder where the hell taeil is driving you guys, and you’re starting to think he doesn’t know where he is either. your suspicions are soon confirmed when yuta yells “oh wait the map was upside down this whole time!”. doyoung has lost interest in his rambles about outer space (a topic you rather liked to hear about), and has instead decided to stare out the window blankly. you don’t want to bother him from his daydreams, despite the growing urge to say something stupid just to hear his voice, but you don’t. you decide to listen to taeil and yuta bicker instead, because that’s at least more entertaining than the corn.

you sigh loudly. doyoung glances over at you, though you remain unaware of this, too busy messing with your shoelaces to notice his soft smile. yuta notices however, and winks at doyoung at least a million times before turning back around to try and figure out the map. doyoung blushes hard and swats at the back of yuta’s head, which gets your attention, and now you’re interested in why doyoung seems so upset. but when you ask, he only gets more red and crosses his arms over his chest, telling you that yuta doesn’t know how to keep his nose in his own business.

“now now kids, you need to behave.” taeil yawns. “or else i’m gonna leave you on the side of the road.”

the infinite loop of pon pon pon makes his offer tempting, but it’s getting dark, and the last thing you need is to be abandoned in a corn field. doyoung is apparently ready to take that risk though, and he whacks yuta’s head one last time before returning to his thoughts. you laugh a bit at this, and start to laugh harder when yuta whines about being mistreated.

“you always defend doyoung.” yuta complains. “i bet he could bury me in the sand this week and leave me to drown and you would swoon over how creative he is.”

“oh come on, i’m not that biased.” you retort, but you feel your face heating up, and know it must be obvious because the smirk on yuta’s face is so wide your half tempted to ask taeil to pretty please slap it off. “you’re just delusional.”

“oh come on, you know you’re soft for doyoung.” taeil laughs. “you don’t need to hide it. everyone knows. except maybe doyoung, maybe he doesn’t know. we should ask him.”

“you know i can hear you.” doyoung says slowly. he doesn’t look away from the window, and you’re worried that maybe he’s mad now. “stop teasing them.”

“wow, doyoung, the hero we never knew anyone needed.” yuta rolls his eyes but winks at him.

doyoung groans and pulls his tangled earbuds from his backpack. with a dramatic glare at both taeil and yuta, he puts the earbuds in his phone, then proceeds to drown them out with his music. taeil and yuta start to laugh at his reaction, and it’s obvious that doyoung is now turning up his music, so loud in fact that you can start to hear muffled lyrics pour out from the earbuds. you can’t help but smile slightly; it’s one of your favorite songs. doyoung knows this, how could he not? why would he even pick the song in the first place?

he pulls the left earbud from his ear, handing it over. you give him a confused look, but you soon put it in, your cheeks tinting pink. yuta spins right around and there on his face once again is that wicked cheshire cat smile that makes you blush even more. doyoung does his best to ignore yuta’s grin, but soon, he too is blushing, and now even taeil has taken his eyes off the road to give you two a knowing smile.

“it’s not like that!” doyoung’s voice sounds desperate. “i’m tired of listening to your weeb trash, and i know they are too. that’s all!”

“okay, first of all, the persona three soundtrack is critically acclaimed, i hope burn my dread is played at my funeral, it’s not even web trash, because i am not a weeb-” yuta cuts himself short. “besides… you could have just asked to change the station. you didn’t need to share all romantic like this, but nooo, you just have to be smooth.”

“boyfriend material.” taeil calls from the front. “ten out of ten would date.”

“taeil you have a girlfriend.”

“oh you’re right…”

this of course only makes you blush harder, because even though it’s obvious to everyone in the world that you and doyoung are wildly in love, neither of you have actually done the whole confessing part yet. granted, yuta has confessed on your behalf at least a million times, and mark and donghyuck have trapped you in a group chat where they spam you pictures of doyoung doing anything (not like you’re complaining). you and doyoung have danced around the idea of an actual relationship for months now, but something is stopping the both of you, something unknown, something unnamed. countless times you’ve had to stop yourself from pulling doyoung down by the collar and crashing your lips onto his, and countless times more you’ve had to shut your big mouth from screaming “i love you” at the top of your lungs. things are hard when you’re suddenly smitten. accidental touches are no longer accidental, innocent staring is now something more, i miss you texts are not a good night, but a cry for attention and love.

you and doyoung could practically be dating with all the time you spend with each other. he is in your fact, your best friend before anything else. doyoung’s apartment (the one he shares with sicheng) has an entire closet dedicated to your belongings, because as time passed, doyoung realized your tees and jeans were becoming more and more and his need for a coat closet becoming less and less. your favorite snacks (though often stolen by sicheng) are always stocked up in the fridge, and your favorite movies and television box sets are always piled high near the dinky television in the living room. you have a key to the apartment, tucked away safely on your lanyard, and even when doyoung isn’t there, you find yourself huddled on the worn futon, reading one of the books he picked up from the library earlier in the week. sicheng teasingly complains you two should just kick him out already, and now that you think of that, you or doyoung have never really said anything to challenge that. it’s not like you dislike sicheng, that’s humanly impossible, but the idea of living with doyoung… that’s heavenly.

you shake your head. now isn’t the time to plan your future out, not when taeil and yuta are watching your every move to catch a crack in your apathetic facade. you cross your arms over your chest, and then suddenly remembering your outfit, take a peek down at your shirt only to realize it’s not really yours- it’s doyoung’s.

no wonder everyone thinks you’re together.

you look out the window, only to find the sun has sunk low in the sky, and in its place is a host of stars. you smile softly, then yawn. you’ve been driving for more than half the day, and you’re sure everyone, especially taeil, is exhausted. besides, it’s evident that you’ve lost your way. nothing seems more tempting right now than finding a tiny motel and passing out on a mattress rather than the car seat. it would be nice to stretch your legs out, walk around a little bit, shower and clean all the travel funk from your skin. and hotels have breakfast in the morning, and anything could be the imitation sausage biscuit you stomached from mcdonald’s earlier today.

it’s as your mind has been read, your prayers answered, because doyoung says, “hey, let’s stop for the night, before taeil gets us lost in the middle of nowhere. i saw a road sign, there’s a hotel on the next exit.”

“i think we’re all tired anyhow.” you add, tugging at your blanket.

“of course you would agree with him.” yuta winks over at you.

“you just yawned like two seconds ago.” doyoung glares. “so be quiet.”

“no, i agree too. i can’t keep my eyes open.” taeil puts the blinker on. “here’s to hoping they have a room.”

as you guys pull into the hotel parking lot, you start to wonder if you’ll be spending the night in the car. every parking space is filled with a car or truck (and occasional motorcycle). taeil circles the lot once, twice, and three times before glumly deciding that all hope is lost, the waffle house across the street is your only option, but then doyoung points wildly over to a back corner that somehow all of you overlooked, and there it is, the only free parking space in the lot. taeil whips in immediately, then parks the car and turns it off. you scramble to get out of the car, but in the process, yank not only your, but doyoung’s earbud out. he looks over at you, and upon seeing your sheepish smile, breaks into a grin as well.

“come on love birds, i’m tired.” yuta laughs.

after unloading your necessary luggage from the trunk, the four of your head inside to check up on room availability. yuta is the one to venture to the front counter and consult the scowling employee, and yuta is the one to come back with two room keys in hand. he tosses on to doyoung, and keeps the other in his hand. he’s whistling. why is he whistling? yuta doesn’t whistle, why is he-

and then, with the most devious smirk a man can muster, he wraps his arm around taeil’s shoulder, pulling him in close. “hello roomie.”

“oh no you don’t” you and doyoung shout in unison.

yuta shrugs and taeil mimics him. before you and doyoung can clobber them, the two of them sprint down the hallway, the nasty desk manager yelling after them.

doyoung gulps. you shove your hands into your pockets. for what seems like an eternity, the two of you remain silent, refusing to do so much as look each other. you can feel your hands go clammy, your cheeks heat up, an army of butterflies swarm your stomach. you bite down on the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from blurting out something stupid, though that seems unlikely to happen thanks to the frog now stuck in your throat. you cough, and sputter, and as soon as you find the courage to speak, doyoung tries to talk as well. now you two are back to stage one, and things are even more awkward than before.

finally, he whispers, “there’s probably two beds.”

“o-of course there are.” you nod.

doyoung grabs his luggage. he then proceeds to reach for yours, but you do as well, and now his hand is atop of yours and he won’t move it- why won’t he move it?!

he gently pulls your bag from your hands, then slings it over his shoulder. he pushes his suitcase in front of him. you can do nothing but follow along silently, cursing god for allowing something so wrong, no, something so absolutely wonderful to happen to you of all people. you swallow the lump in your throat, walking so close behind doyoung you step the heel of his shoe. he turns to fix it, except you’re there, standing mere inches away, and his most immediate thought is to lean down and kiss you long and hard, but the hotel hallway hardly seems appropriate for that, so instead he mumbles an embarrassed sorry. sorry for staring. sorry for thinking outside his place. sorry for crossing the boundary. sorry for not making it known.

doyoung stops in front of the elevator, then presses the button. you two wait, the awkward silence threatening to engulf you two, but thankfully the door dings loudly and slides open. doyoung lets you go first, then follows behind with the luggage, finding an interest in the key card. he then presses the second floor button, and the elevator doors close before it lurches upwards with a violent groan. you wince and without thinking, doyoung rests his hand on your shoulder supportively, but then he realizes what he’s done and he pulls away at once, stammering out an apology.

“it’s f-fine.” curse your nerves.

curse your luck. curse your situation. curse your stupid crush on doyoung. and curse doyoung above all. curse his stupidly handsome bunny smile, and his stupidly angelic voice, and his stupidly selfless love and drive for others, and his stupidly kind and idealistic heart that always finds the good in others, and, and-

the doors slide open once more, and you hurry outside, relieved to be out of the suffocating elevator, doyoung soon pulls ahead of you, leading you down the hall to your room. taeil and yuta are nowhere to be found, and you can’t help but wonder if they’re waiting to ambush the two of you and laugh about their little scheme. the halls are dreadfully silent though, and you’re convinced that you can hear your heart slamming against your chest.

“two fourteen.” doyoung says almost to himself.

he slips the key card in the door, then pushes it open.

you almost faint,

there in the middle of the room, is the bed. yes, the bed, as in, there’s only one. one right in the dead middle, sheets so white that you can’t help but stare at it. or maybe because you realize that neither you or doyoung want to catch any sort of bug that lives in a hotel carpet, which means that the bed, yes, the one bed, will have to be shared, shared by the two of you. for the entire night. wonderful. absolutely perfect. ideal even.

` you flee to the bathroom, bag in hand. the first thing you need to do is regain your composure. slowly, you change into your pajamas, wash your face, and prepare for the long night ahead. you don’t want to leave the safety of the bathroom however, and you don’t plan to either, but there’s a faint knocking on the door, and reality reminds you that you’re sharing a room. with doyoung. and that he also has to get ready.

you gather your things, then slip out of the bathroom. doyoung has apparently called his side of the bed; it’s obvious by the pillow is moved and the comforter is shifted slightly. cautiously, you make your way over to bed. you mentally debate whether or not you should try to set up some sort of cot on the floor with your clothes, but the stronger part of you eventually wins out and you slowly climb into bed. immediately, your tense muscles relax and you remember that you have been in the car for hours now, and even if you’re sleeping with your crush, it’s worth it for a good night’s sleep.

right?

clearly, your need for sleep outweighs your fear of the unknown, and within moments, you have drifted into a deep sleep. doyoung comes from the bathroom only to find you snoring softly, your head buried under the sheets. he smiles gently, then turns off the light. he then slips into bed beside you, careful to never invade your space. for safe measure, he puts a pillow between the two of you, then closes his eyes.

you can’t remember where you are when you awaken the next morning. the sunlight shines in from the window to your right, and the beams dance across the sheets and cause you to smile. outside, there’s the faint song of a bird, and the occasional honk of a car, but it’s nice. you’re warm, pleasantly comfortable, so you keep your eyes closed and snuggle closer to doyoung.

wait.

what?!

you open your eyes and push yourself up a few inches. however, your movement is limited by doyoung’s arms around your waist. his grip is tight, but not painfully so, just enough to make you feel… secure. still, you want to move, just a little bit, so you wriggle just enough to roll over so you’re facing doyoung instead of spooning. despite your movement, doyoung is still sleeping, his eyes shut peacefully and his lips parted slightly. his hair sticks up in every direction, and he snores lightly. your face is so close to his that your noses are brushing in a sweet eskimo kiss, and you think you must be dreaming, yes, dreaming, because this is heaven. your own personal heaven on earth. you smile and close your eyes.

you move your head slightly, pressing a lazy kiss to his jaw before mumbling, “i love you.”

and doyoung sleeps on, but you don’t need his words to know that he feels the same exact way.

#nctwriters #nct scenarios #nct scenario #doyoung #doyoung scenarios #doyoung fluff #doyoung ship #doyoung drabble #NCT 127 #doyoung scenario #nct fluff

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imaginemycroftholmes · 7 years ago

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Mycroft Form Submission

Name: Destiny Nationality: American Age (note that if you below 21 your scores may be lower until age of legality): 31 Personality Type: INTP (according to the Meyer-Briggs personality test) Level of Education: Associates Degree ; Studying for BA Best Subject: Creative Writing and Art Worst Subject: Math Favorite Subject: Art and Creative Writing 5 Hobbies (if applicable): illustration, fanfiction writing, running fan blogs, video games, photography Favorite Genre of Music/Movies/Books: Music –> Anime & Video Game Soundtracks, Movie Soundtracks, some modern music, 90’s / Early 2000s R&B, but I’ll listen to almost anything else to try it. Movies: –> I am a Marvel Movies junkie. I’ve watched almost any kind of film. I hate horror films they make me startled and panicky. Classic films are great “My Fair Lady”, “Gone With The Wind”, “Rosebud”, etc. Books: –> Self Help Books, Romance Novels, Mystery Last song you listened to on repeat: Track 9 from “Princess Maker Soundtrack” Last phrase you said to another living person: “He is full of sh**.” (He is a liar.) How many blankets do you sleep with: I start with a blanket then kick it off if me in the middle of night 7 note worthy skills: I can be mature and professional when required. I can shut off my emotions so it doesn’t interfere with work. I am proficient in Adobe Creative Suite. I can smile in the face in my enemies and not lose my temper. I have a survivor’s mentality and will overcome any situation. I never stay still for long while at work. Yo hablo un poco de Español. 7 noticeable sins: I have been abused and I have also been an abuser. I am sometimes obsessed with erotica. I judge people behind their back. It is hard for me to forgive people. I overeat either because I want to or because of emotional eating. I have anger issues. I am Christian but also have a borderline Misanthrope attitude towards people (hypocrisy). Allergies/impairments/illnesses: Hashimoto’s Disease, Dairy Allergy, Medically Obese Level of Intelligence on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being dumb, 2 being below average, 3 being average, 4 being above average and 5 being genius): 3 Level of Fitness on a scale of 1 to 5( 1 being obese, 2 being overweight, 3 being average, 4 being fit and 5 being skinny): 1 I am medically obese Level of Attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being Anderson, 2 being below average, 3 being average, 4 being above average and 5 being Mycroft): 3 ½ Feline, canine or both: Canine Confidence Level on a scale from 1 to 5 (1 being nonexistent, 2 low, 3 average, 4 above average and 5 Sherlock): 2 ½ Position in the Family (oldest, youngest, middle): Oldest Eye Color: Green Hair Color and Length: Brown, Short touching bottom of ears Combat level on a scale 1 to 5 (1 being useless, 2 being somewhat capable, 3 being average, 4 being more than capable and 5 being expert): 2 Your normal dress: A loose top with dark colors or a floral print, jeans, dark shoes How well you take rejection on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being temper tantrum, 2 being vindictive, 3 being average, 4 being can take it like a man, and 5 being like water off of a duck’s back): 4 Languages known: English and some Spanish. Studying Italian and French on the side to learn differences and similarities in romance languages. Cleanliness of your bathroom on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being a crime scene, 2 being messy, 3 being average, 4 being pretty clean and 5 being perfectly spotless) 2. I clean once a month to make it spotless but on average its messy. How big is your circle of friends on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being nonexistent, 2 being very small, 3 being average, 4 being large, and 5 being a massive social network) 2. It’s better to have a few trusted friends than hundreds of fake friends. How would you rate your mental health on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being very poor, 2 being poor, 3 being average, 4 being good, and 5 being prefect): 2 ½ Opinions on the current Holmes family members ( Siger Holmes, Violet Holmes, Sherlock Holmes and Eurus Holmes): Sherlock fascinates me and amuses me. I would probably piss him off laughing at his humor and fascinating way of solving a case (deductions and such). Eurus I honestly feel sorry for. She is insane, no doubt. But she is also deeply wounded and misunderstood. I would visit her with Mycroft and family from time to time to listen to her and Sherlock play music together Siger Holmes I don’t know too well. I would try my best to get along with him. Violet Holmes I would have a problem with her if she openly criticized Mycroft in front of me. She is Mycroft’s Mum so I would try my best to get along with her. She would secretly have an immediately dislike to me since I am an “ignorant Yank” but I know she would be polite. Any passive aggressive insults or direct I would ignore or say “I’ll keep that in mind.” The biggest problems we’d have is that she would wonder why on earth her son has associated with me on any level. Please bold the following below that applies toward your submission: Friendship Mentorship Relationship Partnership

The Question portion: Please note that you do not have to submit the pictures within your submission (save the puzzle) but you must answer them honestly and do so without cheating. (I’ll answer the ones I can do and skip the rest) 4) Center of the chest. 5) Cross out 555 and put in correct answer of 20 6) OCD. He has a ritual he MUST follow or he panics. 7) I’d leave the door open to the other room and test each switch until I see the light come on. 8) I would watch body and eye language (assuming the gods have human form) and the one that always lies I’d be able to tell right away. The one who randomly lies would be more difficult. I would cross examine and ask same question in different ways to see if their answer would change 9) Get a locksmith to open the lock. 11) The blue house owns a fish. (blue for color of water) 12) Alexander should go to shore of island and wait out the fire and hope it rains. 13) Cannot be determined 15) 0 17) Joyce 20) Michelangelo or Leonardo daVinci 22) About 400 people 24) There are two photographs of two different dresses. So both. 25) The paragraph is written like dialogue.

Mycroft’s answer:

It would seem that more than your namesake brought you here didn’t it Destiny? My lame attempt at humor aside if it should help with your studies on the romance languages they do share very similar structures which allows them to be interchangeable in some situations while still being understood in the opposing language. It’s a bit strange that despite learning these languages you wouldn’t recognized the true artist behind the painting (as the hail from one of those romance languages) but recall that the American education system isn’t on par with that of Mother England’s. I must confess that sometimes I too emotionally eat when Sherlock is being particularly stressful with his ‘ hobbies’ but I am currently trying to beat those bad habits through therapy and healthy coping mechanisms. I would presume that you too are also doing your best to overcome your inner demons as am I for great people must struggle a great deal to achieve their means. It is a reoccurring pattern to find so many artistically inclined submissions whose Achilles hill is mathematics. I confess that I only find the subject more entertaining when it pertains to my interests rather than the dribble of uninspired problems presented. I have no doubts that if you put 100% into yourself as you do your education you can overcome any of your obstacles. I know it may sound like something out of a dime store card but it’s true. Sometimes the truth is that simple and sometimes we need someone to remind us of those simple truths (John, Sherlock, Mrs. Hudson, etc.) when we forget to remember them. Should you require my services or a listening ear I am readily available for that. You don’t have to call me, oh no, trust me, I have my ways of knowing. Just have the courage to answer the phone.*

*Also I promise not to do the whole ‘mysterious act’ like I did with the good doctor so be aware that I will call and leave a message on your home phone or cellphone as Dr. Watson says that it is “Creepy as hell you twat and call like a normal person! No wonder you have so few friends!”

Friendship: 7.2/10

Relationship: 3.9/10

#Mycroft form 2.0 #submission

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happymetalgirl · 8 years ago

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Heads or Tails Pt. 2

Rob Zombie vs. Marilyn Manson

Both industrial metal icons during the 90’s who have kept themselves going far into the 21st century, the “versus” between these two band leaders is in fact quite warranted due to the fair about of conflict between Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson. Both have recently come back into better form from career “slumps” (as some might argue). I feel like the past 3 Marilyn Manson albums have been hyped up, intentionally or otherwise, as “comeback” albums, with people seeming to get their hopes up for a return to the industrial madness of Antichrist Superstar that, at this point, doesn’t really seem probable at all. But I did think that Manson’s 2015 effort, The Pale Emperor, was a big step up from Born Villain and Eat Me, Drink Me (I thought The High End of Low was not too bad either). But ever since that 2007 album that was originally not supposed to happen (The Golden Age of Grotesque being planned as Manson’s last album), Marilyn Manson has hardly even flirted with the industrial metal that won him such a huge reputation within the metal community, and I still haven’t enjoyed any of his newer material as thoroughly as I have Antichrist Superstar and Holy Wood (In the Shadow of the Valley of Death). But I have enjoyed it, and I’ve appreciated that, even though by rotating his crew of musicians, he has continued to refresh his sound throughout the years. Rob Zombie, on the other hand, has remained stylistically consistent, and sort of made me glad that Manson hasn’t, because his music has aged, and most of it not well. Hellbilly Deluxe remains his sole standout record, even taking into account his career with White Zombie. The 3 studio albums that followed it contained a lot more filler than his solo debut, but when he put out Venomous Rat Regeneration Vendor, I thought he was done. He sounded so out of ideas, so uninspired, and as corny as ever on that album. But last year, he caught me off guard with The Electric Warlock Acid Witch Satanic Orgy Celebration Dispenser, which was concise, catchy, punchy, and a much less meandering, homogenous mix of tunes compared to the past 4 albums, and Zombie was certainly as true to himself as ever on it too. As far as the comparison between these guys, it’s basically campy Halloween-y metal versus hyper-serious, poetic rock of various styles, and I thoroughly enjoy both of these approaches. But I think, having quite a few more albums that I hold in very high regard, my general preference falls with Manson. I like many of Rob Zombie songs from his various patchy albums, but I think his only two standout records are his debut and his most recent effort. With Marilyn Manson though, I can point to a stellar output all through the 90’s up through The Golden Age of Grotesque, and even his newer work is musically, and definitely lyrically, intriguing enough to garner repeated listens from me. Both of these guys seem to be on the upswing right now in their careers, especially Zombie. Despite how much I enjoyed his last album, I wouldn’t bet too much on him again capturing a similar energy on another record soon, considering it took almost 2 decades to muster the musical power for something comparable to his debut. Say10 (Manson’s upcoming album), on the other hand, I have some hope for. I am not expecting any kind of reprise of the industrial metal of Antichrist Superstar, but I’m sure it’ll make for some interesting artistic rock project as usual.

Neurosis vs. Swans

I don’t think too many people pair these two bands, but to me, Neurosis is metal’s sludgy answer to Michael Gira’s strange musical experiment, Swans. Because Swans doesn’t exactly reside in metal territory the comparison between the two isn’t really as stylistic contemporaries, but as experimenters of a similar vein in their respective fields (although I consider Swan’s first few albums to be quite metallic). Being a longer-standing project and starting off on an innovative foot with Filth, Swans certainly have the upper hand in the pioneering field, but Neurosis have certainly contributed more than their fair share to expanding and developing modern sludge metal and experimental metal, funneling all sorts of world music influences into their albums. I’m not sure what it is specifically about each of these two that reminds me of the other aside from their ability to craft such similarly ominous works from such varied styles; Scott Kelly’s very Slayer-esque shouts and low-register singing are nothing like Michael Gira’s unstable grunts and creepy mid-range singing, and Neurosis’ overall consistent metallic heaviness is something Swans only channeled in their early years and only kind of off-handedly allude to in their most recent output. Swans have had a bit more of a dynamic ride through the decades than Neurosis and have ventured farther musically, but this has made their discography patchy in my opinion. When they’re on, they’re really on, like with To Be Kind, Filth, Soundtracks for the Blind, and Cop, but albums like The Glowing Man (their worst in my opinion), My Father Will Guide Me Up a Rope to the Sky are, to me of course, just unlistenable. When I found out that Filth came out the same year as Kill ‘Em All I was stunned because it sounded genuinely heavier and ahead of what thrash was doing. Groove metal and death metal took about a decade or so to catch up, but Swans seemed to be tunneling away even further underneath everyone’s noses with their weird psychedelic output in the 90’s. I personally wasn’t the biggest fan of these albums, but there are some gems among their track listings. I’ve definitely enjoyed the more drone-y, sinister output of The Seer and To Be Kind though, and I think those albums, while not exactly ground-breaking, are excellent works in the niche they occupy, with Michael Gira finding a new groove to suit his more mellowed-out tastes of late that still culminates to bombastic performance on many songs like “Screen Shot” and “Bring the Sun”. Neurosis’ less divergent trajectory as a band has, I think, contributed to a more consistently enjoyable output on their part. Their first 4 albums (excluding their strange, crusty punk beginnings) are undoubted landmarks of sludge metal and intriguing from beginning to end. Even as they started moving into uncharted territory and into more atmospheric waters with A Sun That Never Sets and The Eye of Every Storm, they’ve managed to keep me interested with something. Their ability to make their music dynamic with more than just clean and distorted guitar has certainly set them apart from their other sludge metal comrades and has given each album some kind of surprise factor that keeps me coming back and keeps me interested. Again, being that the two bands are not actually stylistic contemporaries, this comparison isn’t as comprehensive or as immersed as people who like to compare experimental music projects can often find such a debate as this to be. My preference for Neurosis on a generalized level could be written off as just bias toward more metal-centric music, but I’m just talking about my general preference for what to put on and listen to. Swans fans might point to how innovative Swans are or how consistently “critically well-received” their albums are (and they are; lots of critics can’t seem to stop fawning over Swans), but I already acknowledged that, and I’m just talking about what I like and dislike about these bands, not summarizing the opinions of music critics.

Mastodon vs. Baroness

Mastodon are certainly the biggest sludge metal band right now and their take on progressive sludge metal has won them boatloads of admiration from the metal community; Baroness on the other hand are only just starting to break through to levels of recognition near to where Mastodon are. I’ve mentioned before that I think Mastodon is overrated, and my subsequent argument for my preference for the music of Baroness is usually an uphill battle when it comes up. Any time I discuss Mastodon with friends, and Baroness come up, I’m outnumbered. Where I think Baroness dominate is in the vocal and song-writing departments. Mastodon’s vocal trade-off game works on some songs like the brilliant “Oblivion”, but it only gets them so far, and it’s been a source of slight boredom on their recent albums. It’s entirely personal preference, but I find Brent Hinds’ vocals to be distracting and too drowsily monotone for the music backing him, Troy, and Brann up. John Dyer Baizley, on the other hand, is a vocal powerhouse who drives Baroness’ music forward with intensity of either the overtly blazing type, or the subtly emotive type, largely single-handedly. My preference for Baroness extends also to composition and lyricism that I largely prefer from Baizley and company. Mastodon’s lyrics, while not terrible aside from what their last album featured, are often convoluted and incomplete enough to hold hardly any meaning; and this is even on songs I really like, such as “The Czar”. But songs like “High Road” and “Show Yourself” fall into vague alternative metal cliché lyrically. When Mastodon does show some ambition in the form of narrative lyrics, they usually don’t come through all the way and their stories require supplementary commentary from the band to be finished. Baizley, however, has a poetic style that has improved since Blue Record and resonates with me consistently through each album. As with vocals, lyrics are definitely a to-each-his-own thing, as is everything in music. Where Baroness really reel me in, though, is with their ability to write many more types of songs with considerable success. Songs like “Little Things” and “Eula” show their ability to write moving songs without resorting to excessive loudness, while songs like “Rays on Pinion” and “Morningstar” display their ability to be effective with their use of such heavy loudness. Of course, I can’t neglect their numerous anthems like “Chlorine and Wine”, “Try to Disappear”, “Shock Me”, and “March to the Sea” as those are the types of songs where I think Baroness and John Dyer Baizley’s soaring voice shine the brightest and show a unique angle of progressive and/or sludge metal. Songs like “High Road” and “March of the Fire Ants” from Mastodon, though, do show a quality from them that I do in fact enjoy deeply. I never said I dislike Mastodon in the general sense, it’s just that for the subjective reasons I laid out above, their music doesn’t quite resonate with me with as much consistency as Baroness’ does.

Iron Maiden vs. Judas Priest

Legends. Judas Priest and Iron Maiden are absolute legends and have been for a long time, there’s no point trying to compare them based on whose music has become a “more” integral pillar of metal as a whole, because even the people who prefer one and/or consider one as more legendary largely have huge respect for the other as well. Bruce Dickinson and Rob Halford are both held in high regard as iconic, godly vocal talents of metal (who were both sorely missed when they both went absent for two albums in their bands’ careers) and both bands have sustained themselves more than adequately into their old age. Both these pillars of the new wave of British heavy metal are quite well known for their string of important, influential albums in their early years, but also for fading out in the 1990’s. Since reuniting with the voices that made these bands the icons they are, they have both hit new creative strides, especially Iron Maiden. I’m probably in the minority on this one, but I prefer Iron Maiden’s 21st century output over their 1980’s output. Brave New World and A Matter of Life and Death particularly showcase a progressive ambition from the band and they are my favorite Iron Maiden albums, although The Number of the Beast and Somewhere in Time are also some of my favorites as well. Judas Priest, on the other hand, has yet to really come into form with Rob Halford back at the helm, Redeemer of Souls not exactly redeeming the overbearing mess that Nostradamus was. Maiden may have a bit of an edge over Priest by having begun their career a few years later and being able to take on some influence from Judas Priest’s 1970’s work, of course sacrificing a few points in the we-did-it-first department. Overall, I’d say that despite the incredible similarities between them, Iron Maiden has always struck me as carrying a good deal more intensity in their music than Judas Priest, Bruce Dickinson being a major player in his consistently vibrant performances. I of course love Judas Priest and Rob Halford too, but Iron Maiden, to me, is a band that has continued to push themselves to new heights, even as the incredible band they were in what many fans consider to be their prime.

#metal #heavy metal #iron maiden #judas priest #neurosis #swans #rob zombie #marilyn manson #mastodon #baroness

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frightfullyfantastic · 8 years ago

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It is sad to think that the first few people on earth needed no books, movies, games or music to inspire cold-blooded murder. The day that Cain bashed his brother Abel's brains in, the only motivation he needed was his own human disposition to violence. Whether you interpret the Bible as literature or as the final word of whatever God may be, Christianity has given us an image of death and sexuality that we have based our culture around. A half-naked dead man hangs in most homes and around our necks, and we have just taken that for granted all our lives. Is it a symbol of hope or hopelessness? The world's most famous murder-suicide was also the birth of the death icon -- the blueprint for celebrity. Unfortunately, for all of their inspiring morality, nowhere in the Gospels is intelligence praised as a virtue. >A lot of people forget or never realize that I started my band as a criticism of these very issues of despair and hypocrisy. The name Marilyn Manson has never celebrated the sad fact that America puts killers on the cover of Time magazine, giving them as much notoriety as our favorite movie stars. From Jesse James to Charles Manson, the media, since their inception, have turned criminals into folk heroes. They just created two new ones when they plastered those dipshits Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris' pictures on the front of every newspaper. Don't be surprised if every kid who gets pushed around has two new idols. > We applaud the creation of a bomb whose sole purpose is to destroy all of mankind, and we grow up watching our president's brains splattered all over Texas. Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised. Does anyone think the Civil War was the least bit civil? If television had existed, you could be sure they would have been there to cover it, or maybe even participate in it, like their violent car chase of Princess Di. Disgusting vultures looking for corpses, exploiting, fucking, filming and serving it up for our hungry appetites in a gluttonous display of endless human stupidity. > When it comes down to who's to blame for the high school murders in Littleton, Colorado, throw a rock and you'll hit someone who's guilty. We're the people who sit back and tolerate children owning guns, and we're the ones who tune in and watch the up-to-the-minute details of what they do with them. I think it's terrible when anyone dies, especially if it is someone you know and love. But what is more offensive is that when these tragedies happen, most people don't really care any more than they would about the season finale of Friends or The Real World. I was dumbfounded as I watched the media snake right in, not missing a teardrop, interviewing the parents of dead children, televising the funerals. Then came the witch hunt. > Man's greatest fear is chaos. It was unthinkable that these kids did not have a simple black-and-white reason for their actions. And so a scapegoat was needed. I remember hearing the initial reports from Littleton, that Harris and Klebold were wearing makeup and were dressed like Marilyn Manson, whom they obviously must worship, since they were dressed in black. Of course, speculation snowballed into making me the poster boy for everything that is bad in the world. These two idiots weren't wearing makeup, and they weren't dressed like me or like goths. Since Middle America has not heard of the music they did listen to (KMFDM and Rammstein, among others), the media picked something they thought was similar. > Responsible journalists have reported with less publicity that Harris and Klebold were not Marilyn Manson fans -- that they even disliked my music. Even if they were fans, that gives them no excuse, nor does it mean that music is to blame. Did we look for James Huberty's inspiration when he gunned down people at McDonald's? What did Timothy McVeigh like to watch? What about David Koresh, Jim Jones? Do you think entertainment inspired Kip Kinkel, or should we blame the fact that his father bought him the guns he used in the Springfield, Oregon, murders? What inspires Bill Clinton to blow people up in Kosovo? Was it something that Monica Lewinsky said to him? Isn't killing just killing, regardless if it's in Vietnam or Jonesboro, Arkansas? Why do we justify one, just because it seems to be for the right reasons? Should there ever be a right reason? If a kid is old enough to drive a car or buy a gun, isn't he old enough to be held personally responsible for what he does with his car or gun? Or if he's a teenager, should someone else be blamed because he isn't as enlightened as an eighteen-year-old? > America loves to find an icon to hang its guilt on. But, admittedly, I have assumed the role of Antichrist; I am the Nineties voice of individuality, and people tend to associate anyone who looks and behaves differently with illegal or immoral activity. Deep down, most adults hate people who go against the grain. It's comical that people are naive enough to have forgotten Elvis, Jim Morrison and Ozzy so quickly. All of them were subjected to the same age-old arguments, scrutiny and prejudice. I wrote a song called "Lunchbox," and some journalists have interpreted it as a song about guns. Ironically, the song is about being picked on and fighting back with my Kiss lunch box, which I used as a weapon on the playground. In 1979, metal lunch boxes were banned because they were considered dangerous weapons in the hands of delinquents. I also wrote a song called "Get Your Gunn." The title is spelled with two n's because the song was a reaction to the murder of Dr. David Gunn, who was killed in Florida by pro-life activists while I was living there. That was the ultimate hypocrisy I witnessed growing up: that these people killed someone in the name of being "pro-life." > The somewhat positive messages of these songs are usually the ones that sensationalists misinterpret as promoting the very things I am decrying. Right now, everyone is thinking of how they can prevent things like Littleton. How do you prevent AIDS, world war, depression, car crashes? We live in a free country, but with that freedom there is a burden of personal responsibility. Rather than teaching a child what is moral and immoral, right and wrong, we first and foremost can establish what the laws that govern us are. You can always escape hell by not believing in it, but you cannot escape death and you cannot escape prison. > It is no wonder that kids are growing up more cynical; they have a lot of information in front of them. They can see that they are living in a world that's made of bullshit. In the past, there was always the idea that you could turn and run and start something better. But now America has become one big mall, and because of the Internet and all of the technology we have, there's nowhere to run. People are the same everywhere. Sometimes music, movies and books are the only things that let us feel like someone else feels like we do. I've always tried to let people know it's OK, or better, if you don't fit into the program. Use your imagination -- if some geek from Ohio can become something, why can't anyone else with the willpower and creativity? > I chose not to jump into the media frenzy and defend myself, though I was begged to be on every single TV show in existence. I didn't want to contribute to these fame-seeking journalists and opportunists looking to fill their churches or to get elected because of their self-righteous finger-pointing. They want to blame entertainment? Isn't religion the first real entertainment? People dress up in costumes, sing songs and dedicate themselves in eternal fandom. Everyone will agree that nothing was more entertaining than Clinton shooting off his prick and then his bombs in true political form. And the news -- that's obvious. So is entertainment to blame? I'd like media commentators to ask themselves, because their coverage of the event was some of the most gruesome entertainment any of us have seen. > I think that the National Rifle Association is far too powerful to take on, so most people choose Doom, The Basketball Diaries or yours truly. This kind of controversy does not help me sell records or tickets, and I wouldn't want it to. I'm a controversial artist, one who dares to have an opinion and bothers to create music and videos that challenge people's ideas in a world that is watered-down and hollow. In my work I examine the America we live in, and I've always tried to show people that the devil we blame our atrocities on is really just each one of us. So don't expect the end of the world to come one day out of the blue -- it's been happening every day for a long time. -MARILYN MANSON (May 28, 1999) http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/columbine-whose-fault-is-it-19990624

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theforbiz · 6 years ago

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The awaited analysis of the AirPods 2, the second generation of the wireless headphones of Apple arrives, a device that has gone from being reviled to become one of the company’s best-selling gadgets. What differentiates the new AirPods 2 from the first version? Worth? We answer these and other questions in this comprehensive review of the Apple AirPods 2.

Rare, pretentious, unnecessary these were some of the qualifiers that could be read on the networks when at the end of 2016 Apple released the AirPods, their first wireless headphones, not to mention the amount of memes and jokes that arrived even to compare its now characteristic design with the head of an electric toothbrush.

Almost two and a half years later the situation is very different, critics and detractors have not disappeared, although many more have jumped on the bandwagon. You just have to take a ride on public transport in any big city to realize its tremendous success.

There is no doubt that we are facing one of the fashionable gadgets, imitated to the point of satiety they have managed to seduce even the most reactionary with the Apple ecosystem, not being strange to find Android users with AirPods in their ears.

Faced with this success, many were eagerly awaiting a second version that managed to solve some of the less convincing aspects of the original model, as well as adding new features. The AirPods 2 that we are reviewing today are Apple’s response to these requests, although it may be that many may know little by little, do you want to know why? We tell you in this analysis of the Apple AirPods 2.

Design and experience of use

At first glance, there are no differences with regard to the headphones with respect to the previous version; they are identical in design, size and weight. It is true that aesthetically they are a little strange, but the need for physical space for the battery makes it seem impossible, at least for the moment, to dispense with that prolongation that is so characteristic that it would make it much more discreet. Personally I do not dislike the continuant design, at least as far as aesthetics are concerned, maybe I have already gotten used to it and I find it even attractive.

My critics are more focused on ergonomics where Apple comes back again, in my opinion, to stumble on the same stone. And is that the AirPods 2 are not comfortable for all ears. In my case I find it annoying during the first minutes, after that time it becomes bearable, although I never feel comfortable with them, always leaving some fatigue and a sense of relief when I take them off after a prolonged period of use.

Apple looked with the EarPods – predecessors of the current AirPods – the most universal design possible to be comfortable for the vast majority of people, although a slightly smaller version, something similar to what Apple does with the two versions of the Watch, or a system of interchangeable pads, little glamorous but proven effective, could universalize its use even more.

They do not have water resistance certification, although they do not seem to have big problems at least with sweat if we consider the large number of people who can be seen on the streets and gyms practicing sports with their AirPods in their ears. In my case I could make a couple of incursions in the gym with them, insufficient to demonstrate their resistance to sweating, but a good test to assess comfort and how they fit in the ear.

Regardless of the level of comfort I have to say that the fit inside the ear, at least in my case, is perfect. I have not felt at any time during this review of AirPods 2 fear that any of the headphones could fall to the ground or get lost, not only on a daily basis, also in demanding situations such as running or riding a mountain bike.

They maintain their usual white color throughout the whole, without the possibility of alternative colors. It might have been a good idea to expand the range of colors, betting on a more discreet (and cleaner) color than white with a glossy finish; In addition, it would have served to provide a differentiating element compared to the original AirPods.

Battery, charging system and autonomy

And it is only in the cargo case that we find some subtle differences compared to the first AirPods. Now we have two alternatives: with or without wireless charging, although the only visible visual difference is found in the new location of the status LED, which goes to the outside, allowing you to consult it in a more comfortable way without having to open the top, simply by pressing the button on the back that goes to occupy a more centered position with respect to the case of the first AirPods.

The LED gives us information on the state of charge and synchronization through a color code. It will show the battery information of the case if the headphones are not inside, and if they are inside:

Green: at least one full charge or the battery of both headphones is above 50%.

Amber: less than a full charge or one of the headphones is with less than half of its battery

Red: the battery is charging.

White: synchronization mode.

Although the best way to check the status of the load of both the case and the pair of headphones is by bringing it to an iOS device and opening its lid. In addition, if you take out one of the headphones from the inside you will know the exact independent load of each headset, interesting if as I am one of those who sometimes do not want to isolate you and only use one of them.

Apple estimates the useful life of the headset’s battery in about five hours in audio playback and three in conversation, there are similar models that exceed this data, but they are still appreciable if we consider their dimensions and weight, in addition to the total absence of cables. The case allows extending the load until 24 and 18 hours respectively; and has a fast charging system with which you get up to three hours of listening, or two hours in calls, with only 15 minutes of loading time.

Corroborating this data is complex, since in everyday use we will rarely listen to music or talk on the telephone in such a continuous way, it is normal to make a mixed use with intermediate recharge periods inside the case. In the tests conducted, the results closely resemble those provided by Apple, which says a lot in its favor.

The wireless charging case is compatible with the Qi standard, the same as the iPhone and many of the market Android phones, so you can load the AirPods 2 simply by placing them on the same base you use for any of these devices. Even as I could buy for this analysis of the Apple AirPods 2, it is possible to charge your batteries using the shared wireless charging system of a Samsung Galaxy S10, Huawei Mate 20 or P30, quite an irony.

Wireless charging occurs at a maximum of 5V, which takes about three and a half hours to complete a cycle of full charge of headphones and case starting from a full discharge status; this same cycle takes just over two hours if we use the Lightning plug and a conventional iPhone charger.

The difference is obvious but we have to take into account that it is a very extreme circumstance, it is usual to recharge the AirPods without completely exhausting the battery, so the load times are not as relevant, by against the wireless charge it is extremely comfortable and consistent with the wireless philosophy of the headphones. If you are clear that you want to buy some AirPods 2 the wireless charging case seems an almost obligatory purchase.

Connectivity and synchronization

Responsible for much of the changes in the new AirPods 2 is its new H1 chip, designed specifically for headphones and replacing the W1, whose new version has been exclusive for the latest generation of Apple Watch.

A new chip that focuses its improvements on aspects directly related to the use of AirPods 2 as the active listening of Siri, the reduction of latency, a faster and more stable connectivity, or improvements in the capabilities of the microphone and its use in adverse environments .

They incorporate Bluetooth 5.0 connectivity for a faster and more stable connection. With an iPhone or iPad the pairing is almost instantaneous, surprisingly fast, a little more than two seconds from the opening of the lid of the case.

Accustomed to the frequent micro-cuts and synchronism losses of most bluetooth headphones, the almost total absence of them in this AirPods 2 has surprised me in a very pleasant way. There is also a substantial improvement in range that has allowed me to move around the house without worrying about the iPhone being at the far end of it.

What is still not possible is to be able to connect the AirPods to more than one device simultaneously as other similar headphones do, capable of automatically selecting the last active source as the main sound source. In my case I usually work listening to music from my Macbook and it would be great to be able to answer the incoming iPhone calls with the AirPods without hastily selecting them manually. At least switching between devices is a very fast process, almost instantaneous, something that is appreciated.

According to the specifications offered by Apple, the new H1 chip also offers 30% lower latency when it comes to receiving calls, playing games or watching videos. Certainly it is difficult to evaluate this feature since in this aspect I have never had an experience that could be considered frustrating with other headphones with similar features.

In the calls, if it is more evident, the number of occasions in which the phrases of the conversation overlap each other is drastically reduced, something very common in calls where one of the parties uses hands-free, and the experience is practically identical to putting the phone directly in the ear.

Siri always available in the company of gesture control

Another of the great novelties of the AirPods 2 is the active listening of Siri, if in the previous version to speak with the voice assistant we had to invoke it by means of two small touches in one of the headphones, now we can simply say “Hey Siri” in any moment to invoke it.

Otherwise there is no difference with respect to its use on the iPhone, except for the visual type responses in which obviously we will have to resort to the phone screen. The response time is somewhat slow and sometimes a bit exasperating, there are several occasions in which I repeated the order thinking that it had not registered well coinciding with the response and creating a small confusion. Besides some more agility, I miss some kind of auditory response that validates that Siri has listened to us and that is processing the order, would help to minimize this type of situation.

The active listening of Siri has served to release the gesture of the two touches on the headset for new functions, in addition AirPods 2 can distinguish the double pulsation independently in each headset which opens slightly personalization options, although less than what we would have liked since no new gestures have been added.

The options are limited to one action per headset when double-clicking to choose between: Siri, Play / Pause, Next Track, Previous Track or do nothing. In addition, it continues to maintain ear detection that allows you to pause and resume playback automatically when you remove or put on the headset.

The post Apple AirPods 2, Analysis and Opinion appeared first on TheForBiz - Change Your World.

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thesnhuup · 6 years ago

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Pop Picks – July 23, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Spotify’s Summer Acoustic playlist has been on repeat quite a lot. What a fun way to listen to artists new to me, including The Paper Kites, Hollow Coves, and Fleet Foxes, as well as old favorites like Leon Bridges and Jose Gonzalez. Pretty chill when dialing back to a summer pace, dining on the screen porch or reading a book.

What I’m reading:

Bryan Stevenson’s Just Mercy. Founder of the Equal Justice Initiative, Stevenson tells of the racial injustice (and the war on the poor our judicial system perpetuates as well) that he discovered as a young graduate from Harvard Law School and his fight to address it. It is in turn heartbreaking, enraging, and inspiring. It is also about mercy and empathy and justice that reads like a novel. Brilliant.

What I’m watching:

Fauda. We watched season one of this Israeli thriller. It was much discussed in Israel because while it focuses on an ex-special agent who comes out of retirement to track down a Palestinian terrorist, it was willing to reveal the complexity, richness, and emotions of Palestinian lives. And the occasional brutality of the Israelis. Pretty controversial stuff in Israel. Lior Raz plays Doron, the main character, and is compelling and tough and often hard to like. He’s a mess. As is the world in which he has to operate. We really liked it, and also felt guilty because while it may have been brave in its treatment of Palestinians within the Israeli context, it falls back into some tired tropes and ultimately falls short on this front.

Archive

June 11, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Like everyone else, I’m listening to Pusha T drop the mic on Drake. Okay, not really, but do I get some points for even knowing that? We all walk around with songs that immediately bring us back to a time or a place. Songs are time machines. We are coming up on Father’s Day. My own dad passed away on Father’s Day back in 1994 and I remembering dutifully getting through the wake and funeral and being strong throughout. Then, sitting alone in our kitchen, Don Henley’s The End of the Innocence came on and I lost it. When you lose a parent for the first time (most of us have two after all) we lose our innocence and in that passage, we suddenly feel adult in a new way (no matter how old we are), a longing for our own childhood, and a need to forgive and be forgiven. Listen to the lyrics and you’ll understand. As Wordsworth reminds us in In Memoriam, there are seasons to our grief and, all these years later, this song no longer hits me in the gut, but does transport me back with loving memories of my father. I’ll play it Father’s Day.

What I’m reading:

The Fifth Season, by N. K. Jemisin. I am not a reader of fantasy or sci-fi, though I understand they can be powerful vehicles for addressing the very real challenges of the world in which we actually live. I’m not sure I know of a more vivid and gripping illustration of that fact than N. K. Jemisin’s Hugo Award winning novel The Fifth Season, first in her Broken Earth trilogy. It is astounding. It is the fantasy parallel to The Underground Railroad, my favorite recent read, a depiction of subjugation, power, casual violence, and a broken world in which our hero(s) struggle, suffer mightily, and still, somehow, give us hope. It is a tour de force book. How can someone be this good a writer? The first 30 pages pained me (always with this genre, one must learn a new, constructed world, and all of its operating physics and systems of order), and then I could not put it down. I panicked as I neared the end, not wanting to finish the book, and quickly ordered the Obelisk Gate, the second novel in the trilogy, and I can tell you now that I’ll be spending some goodly portion of my weekend in Jemisin’s other world.

What I’m watching:

The NBA Finals and perhaps the best basketball player of this generation. I’ve come to deeply respect LeBron James as a person, a force for social good, and now as an extraordinary player at the peak of his powers. His superhuman play during the NBA playoffs now ranks with the all-time greats, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, MJ, Kobe, and the demi-god that was Bill Russell. That his Cavs lost in a 4-game sweep is no surprise. It was a mediocre team being carried on the wide shoulders of James (and matched against one of the greatest teams ever, the Warriors, and the Harry Potter of basketball, Steph Curry) and, in some strange way, his greatness is amplified by the contrast with the rest of his team. It was a great run.

May 24, 2018

What I’m listening to:

I’ve always liked Alicia Keys and admired her social activism, but I am hooked on her last album Here. This feels like an album finally commensurate with her anger, activism, hope, and grit. More R&B and Hip Hop than is typical for her, I think this album moves into an echelon inhabited by a Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On or Beyonce’s Formation. Social activism and outrage rarely make great novels, but they often fuel great popular music. Here is a terrific example.

What I’m reading:

Colson Whitehead’s Underground Railroad may be close to a flawless novel. Winner of the 2017 Pulitzer, it chronicles the lives of two runaway slaves, Cora and Caeser, as they try to escape the hell of plantation life in Georgia. It is an often searing novel and Cora is one of the great heroes of American literature. I would make this mandatory reading in every high school in America, especially in light of the absurd revisionist narratives of “happy and well cared for” slaves. This is a genuinely great novel, one of the best I’ve read, the magical realism and conflating of time periods lifts it to another realm of social commentary, relevance, and a blazing indictment of America’s Original Sin, for which we remain unabsolved.

What I’m watching:

I thought I knew about The Pentagon Papers, but The Post, a real-life political thriller from Steven Spielberg taught me a lot, features some of our greatest actors, and is so timely given the assault on our democratic institutions and with a presidency out of control. It is a reminder that a free and fearless press is a powerful part of our democracy, always among the first targets of despots everywhere. The story revolves around the legendary Post owner and D.C. doyenne, Katharine Graham. I had the opportunity to see her son, Don Graham, right after he saw the film, and he raved about Meryl Streep’s portrayal of his mother. Liked it a lot more than I expected.

April 27, 2018

What I’m listening to:

I mentioned John Prine in a recent post and then on the heels of that mention, he has released a new album, The Tree of Forgiveness, his first new album in ten years. Prine is beloved by other singer songwriters and often praised by the inscrutable God that is Bob Dylan. Indeed, Prine was frequently said to be the “next Bob Dylan” in the early part of his career, though he instead carved out his own respectable career and voice, if never with the dizzying success of Dylan. The new album reflects a man in his 70s, a cancer survivor, who reflects on life and its end, but with the good humor and empathy that are hallmarks of Prine’s music. “When I Get To Heaven” is a rollicking, fun vision of what comes next and a pure delight. A charming, warm, and often terrific album.

What I’m reading:

I recently read Min Jin Lee’s Pachinko, on many people’s Top Ten lists for last year and for good reason. It is sprawling, multi-generational, and based in the world of Japanese occupied Korea and then in the Korean immigrant’s world of Oaska, so our key characters become “tweeners,” accepted in neither world. It’s often unspeakably sad, and yet there is resiliency and love. There is also intimacy, despite the time and geographic span of the novel. It’s breathtakingly good and like all good novels, transporting.

What I’m watching:

I adore Guillermo del Toro’s 2006 film, Pan’s Labyrinth, and while I’m not sure his Shape of Water is better, it is a worthy follow up to the earlier masterpiece (and more of a commercial success). Lots of critics dislike the film, but I’m okay with a simple retelling of a Beauty and the Beast love story, as predictable as it might be. The acting is terrific, it is visually stunning, and there are layers of pain as well as social and political commentary (the setting is the US during the Cold War) and, no real spoiler here, the real monsters are humans, the military officer who sees over the captured aquatic creature. It is hauntingly beautiful and its depiction of hatred to those who are different or “other” is painfully resonant with the time in which we live. Put this on your “must see” list.

March 18, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Sitting on a plane for hours (and many more to go; geez, Australia is far away) is a great opportunity to listen to new music and to revisit old favorites. This time, it is Lucy Dacus and her album Historians, the new sophomore release from a 22-year old indie artist that writes with relatable, real-life lyrics. Just on a second listen and while she insists this isn’t a break up record (as we know, 50% of all great songs are break up songs), it is full of loss and pain. Worth the listen so far. For the way back machine, it’s John Prine and In Spite of Ourselves (that title track is one of the great love songs of all time), a collection of duets with some of his “favorite girl singers” as he once described them. I have a crush on Iris Dement (for a really righteously angry song try her Wasteland of the Free), but there is also EmmyLou Harris, the incomparable Dolores Keane, and Lucinda Williams. Very different albums, both wonderful.

What I’m reading:

Jane Mayer’s New Yorker piece on Christopher Steele presents little that is new, but she pulls it together in a terrific and coherent whole that is illuminating and troubling at the same time. Not only for what is happening, but for the complicity of the far right in trying to discredit that which should be setting off alarm bells everywhere. Bob Mueller may be the most important defender of the democracy at this time. A must read.

What I’m watching:

Homeland is killing it this season and is prescient, hauntingly so. Russian election interference, a Bannon-style hate radio demagogue, alienated and gun toting militia types, and a president out of control. It’s fabulous, even if it feels awfully close to the evening news.

March 8, 2018

What I’m listening to:

We have a family challenge to compile our Top 100 songs. It is painful. Only 100? No more than three songs by one artist? Wait, why is M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” on my list? Should it just be The Clash from whom she samples? Can I admit to guilty pleasure songs? Hey, it’s my list and I can put anything I want on it. So I’m listening to the list while I work and the song playing right now is Tom Petty’s “The Wild One, Forever,” a B-side single that was never a hit and that remains my favorite Petty song. Also, “Evangeline” by Los Lobos. It evokes a night many years ago, with friends at Pearl Street in Northampton, MA, when everyone danced well past 1AM in a hot, sweaty, packed club and the band was a revelation. Maybe the best music night of our lives and a reminder that one’s 100 Favorite Songs list is as much about what you were doing and where you were in your life when those songs were playing as it is about the music. It’s not a list. It’s a soundtrack for this journey.

What I’m reading:

Patricia Lockwood’s Priestdaddy was in the NY Times top ten books of 2017 list and it is easy to see why. Lockwood brings remarkable and often surprising imagery, metaphor, and language to her prose memoir and it actually threw me off at first. It then all became clear when someone told me she is a poet. The book is laugh aloud funny, which masks (or makes safer anyway) some pretty dark territory. Anyone who grew up Catholic, whether lapsed or not, will resonate with her story. She can’t resist a bawdy anecdote and her family provides some of the most memorable characters possible, especially her father, her sister, and her mother, who I came to adore. Best thing I’ve read in ages.

What I’m watching:

The Florida Project, a profoundly good movie on so many levels. Start with the central character, six-year old (at the time of the filming) Brooklynn Prince, who owns – I mean really owns – the screen. This is pure acting genius and at that age? Astounding. Almost as astounding is Bria Vinaite, who plays her mother. She was discovered on Instagram and had never acted before this role, which she did with just three weeks of acting lessons. She is utterly convincing and the tension between the child’s absolute wonder and joy in the world with her mother’s struggle to provide, to be a mother, is heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. Willem Dafoe rightly received an Oscar nomination for his supporting role. This is a terrific movie.

February 12, 2018

What I’m listening to:

So, I have a lot of friends of age (I know you’re thinking 40s, but I just turned 60) who are frozen in whatever era of music they enjoyed in college or maybe even in their thirties. There are lots of times when I reach back into the catalog, since music is one of those really powerful and transporting senses that can take you through time (smell is the other one, though often underappreciated for that power). Hell, I just bought a turntable and now spending time in vintage vinyl shops. But I’m trying to take a lesson from Pat, who revels in new music and can as easily talk about North African rap music and the latest National album as Meet the Beatles, her first ever album. So, I’ve been listening to Kendrick Lamar’s Grammy winning Damn. While it may not be the first thing I’ll reach for on a winter night in Maine, by the fire, I was taken with it. It’s layered, political, and weirdly sensitive and misogynist at the same time, and it feels fresh and authentic and smart at the same time, with music that often pulled me from what I was doing. In short, everything music should do. I’m not a bit cooler for listening to Damn, but when I followed it with Steely Dan, I felt like I was listening to Lawrence Welk. A good sign, I think.

What I’m reading:

I am reading Walter Isaacson’s new biography of Leonardo da Vinci. I’m not usually a reader of biographies, but I’ve always been taken with Leonardo. Isaacson does not disappoint (does he ever?), and his subject is at once more human and accessible and more awe-inspiring in Isaacson’s capable hands. Gay, left-handed, vegetarian, incapable of finishing things, a wonderful conversationalist, kind, and perhaps the most relentlessly curious human being who has ever lived. Like his biographies of Steve Jobs and Albert Einstein, Isaacson’s project here is to show that genius lives at the intersection of science and art, of rationality and creativity. Highly recommend it.

What I’m watching:

We watched the This Is Us post-Super Bowl episode, the one where Jack finally buys the farm. I really want to hate this show. It is melodramatic and manipulative, with characters that mostly never change or grow, and it hooks me every damn time we watch it. The episode last Sunday was a tear jerker, a double whammy intended to render into a blubbering, tissue-crumbling pathetic mess anyone who has lost a parent or who is a parent. Sterling K. Brown, Ron Cephas Jones, the surprising Mandy Moore, and Milo Ventimiglia are hard not to love and last season’s episode that had only Brown and Cephas going to Memphis was the show at its best (they are by far the two best actors). Last week was the show at its best worst. In other words, I want to hate it, but I love it. If you haven’t seen it, don’t binge watch it. You’ll need therapy and insulin.

January 15, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Drive-By Truckers. Chris Stapleton has me on an unusual (for me) country theme and I discovered these guys to my great delight. They’ve been around, with some 11 albums, but the newest one is fascinating. It’s a deep dive into Southern alienation and the white working-class world often associated with our current president. I admire the willingness to lay bare, in kick ass rock songs, the complexities and pain at work among people we too quickly place into overly simple categories. These guys are brave, bold, and thoughtful as hell, while producing songs I didn’t expect to like, but that I keep playing. And they are coming to NH.

What I’m reading:

A textual analog to Drive-By Truckers by Chris Stapleton in many ways is Tony Horowitz’s 1998 Pulitzer Prize winning Confederates in the Attic. Ostensibly about the Civil War and the South’s ongoing attachment to it, it is prescient and speaks eloquently to the times in which we live (where every southern state but Virginia voted for President Trump). Often hilarious, it too surfaces complexities and nuance that escape a more recent, and widely acclaimed, book like Hillbilly Elegy. As a Civil War fan, it was also astonishing in many instances, especially when it blows apart long-held “truths” about the war, such as the degree to which Sherman burned down the south (he did not). Like D-B Truckers, Horowitz loves the South and the people he encounters, even as he grapples with its myths of victimhood and exceptionalism (and racism, which may be no more than the racism in the north, but of a different kind). Everyone should read this book and I’m embarrassed I’m so late to it.

What I’m watching:

David Letterman has a new Netflix show called “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction” and we watched the first episode, in which Letterman interviewed Barack Obama. It was extraordinary (if you don’t have Netflix, get it just to watch this show); not only because we were reminded of Obama’s smarts, grace, and humanity (and humor), but because we saw a side of Letterman we didn’t know existed. His personal reflections on Selma were raw and powerful, almost painful. He will do five more episodes with “extraordinary individuals” and if they are anything like the first, this might be the very best work of his career and one of the best things on television.

December 22, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished Sunjeev Sahota’s Year of the Runaways, a painful inside look at the plight of illegal Indian immigrant workers in Britain. It was shortlisted for 2015 Man Booker Prize and its transporting, often to a dark and painful universe, and it is impossible not to think about the American version of this story and the terrible way we treat the undocumented in our own country, especially now.

What I’m watching:

Season II of The Crown is even better than Season I. Elizabeth’s character is becoming more three-dimensional, the modern world is catching up with tradition-bound Britain, and Cold War politics offer more context and tension than we saw in Season I. Claire Foy, in her last season, is just terrific – one arched eye brow can send a message.

What I’m listening to:

A lot of Christmas music, but needing a break from the schmaltz, I’ve discovered Over the Rhine and their Christmas album, Snow Angels. God, these guys are good.

November 14, 2017

What I’m watching:

Guiltily, I watch the Patriots play every weekend, often building my schedule and plans around seeing the game. Why the guilt? I don’t know how morally defensible is football anymore, as we now know the severe damage it does to the players. We can’t pretend it’s all okay anymore. Is this our version of late decadent Rome, watching mostly young Black men take a terrible toll on each other for our mere entertainment?

What I’m reading:

Recently finished J.G. Ballard’s 2000 novel Super-Cannes, a powerful depiction of a corporate-tech ex-pat community taken over by a kind of psychopathology, in which all social norms and responsibilities are surrendered to residents of the new world community. Kept thinking about Silicon Valley when reading it. Pretty dark, dystopian view of the modern world and centered around a mass killing, troublingly prescient.

What I’m listening to:

Was never really a Lorde fan, only knowing her catchy (and smarter than you might first guess) pop hit “Royals” from her debut album. But her new album, Melodrama, is terrific and it doesn’t feel quite right to call this “pop.” There is something way more substantial going on with Lorde and I can see why many critics put this album at the top of their Best in 2017 list. Count me in as a huge fan.

November 3, 2017

What I’m reading: Just finished Celeste Ng’s Little Fires Everywhere, her breathtakingly good second novel. How is someone so young so wise? Her writing is near perfection and I read the book in two days, setting my alarm for 4:30AM so I could finish it before work.

What I’m watching: We just binge watched season two of Stranger Things and it was worth it just to watch Millie Bobbie Brown, the transcendent young actor who plays Eleven. The series is a delightful mash up of every great eighties horror genre you can imagine and while pretty dark, an absolute joy to watch.

What I’m listening to: I’m not a lover of country music (to say the least), but I love Chris Stapleton. His “The Last Thing I Needed, First Thing This Morning” is heartbreakingly good and reminds me of the old school country that played in my house as a kid. He has a new album and I can’t wait, but his From A Room: Volume 1 is on repeat for now.

September 26, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished George Saunder’s Lincoln in the Bardo. It took me a while to accept its cadence and sheer weirdness, but loved it in the end. A painful meditation on loss and grief, and a genuinely beautiful exploration of the intersection of life and death, the difficulty of letting go of what was, good and bad, and what never came to be.

What I’m watching:

HBO’s The Deuce. Times Square and the beginning of the porn industry in the 1970s, the setting made me wonder if this was really something I’d want to see. But David Simon is the writer and I’d read a menu if he wrote it. It does not disappoint so far and there is nothing prurient about it.

What I’m listening to:

The National’s new album Sleep Well Beast. I love this band. The opening piano notes of the first song, “Nobody Else Will Be There,” seize me & I’m reminded that no one else in music today matches their arrangement & musicianship. I’m adding “Born to Beg,” “Slow Show,” “I Need My Girl,” and “Runaway” to my list of favorite love songs.

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coolfoulsharkstudentposts-blog · 7 years ago

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Dragon Woman By Melissa Nichols.

Close friend or Enemy informs the tale of David as well as Tucky, as they are evacuated to Exeter from Strike torn London throughout the Second Globe Battle. If you are not sharing and appreciating exactly how your perspectives vary, even if it indicates occasional tension, then you are maintaining your distinctions to on your own as well as they will smolder, triggering resentment as well as passive-aggressive tendencies that place the relationship in peril. In 1846, when Weatherby ceases being thought about a good friend of Mr. Lincoln" by Lincoln's ruthless better half, the future Great Emancipator's career has actually scarcely begun - yet the grassy field poet's appears never ever to get begun. The tale follows Abby and Gretchen, two friends that are driving the passages and roads of the 1980s secondary school life. After reviewing this publication I gave my pals a list of words as well as inquired to tell me if each word described ladies or children. I am a huge follower of Cari as well as Taryn and would very recommend In charge series, particularly to those who take pleasure in romantic thriller! But I seemed like love emitted from my close friends as well as family members and powered me with each hard turning point. Results were mixed with respect to our hypothesis that the relation between goals and projection is self-perpetuating. Blinded by the responsibility that your manager leaves, you promptly claimed yes, cannot become aware that you are not precisely an event organizer. Scott's fatality came just 2 days after a L.a Superior Court judge rejected a demand by legal representatives for SLA radical-turned- homemaker Sara Jane Olson to video his testimony for her upcoming test. Your whine about his beard-hair on the sink seems to pale right into insignificance alongside Sarah's real problems (not to belittle the beard-hair thing though, that spunk is disgusting). Your manager will value your direct approach and also this will certainly divide you from your peers, who might be waiting on something to happen instead of making something occur. That indicates that you do not grumble or chatter regarding your boss and also you get your task done. Critics Agreement: Stong lead efficiencies, amusing discussion as well as wry monitorings cement Pals With Money as an additional winning dramedy from writer/director Nicole Holofcener. Who understands, I wish to have an excellent relationship with him however he's not willing to address the problem either. Any one indication can be unintentional, however if your pal presents multiple indications of subconscious tourist attraction, he may be hiding a secret crush on you. Spent with feeling, the squatter girl listened to the pulling back footsteps of her buddy die away in the golden. The evaluation disclosed having an attractive husband or sweetheart was no barrier to a relationship succeeding. After a handful of city strolls I understood that exactly what a lot of them were missing out on was any kind of experience other than a visual experience. These responses have been divided right into two categories: Column two of the table lists responses with therapy with Ibuprofen tablet computers where the possibility of a causal relationship exists: for the responses in Column three, a causal connection with Ibuprofen tablet computers has not been established. On November 24th there could be some commitments connecting to others that you have to take care of. On http://choisissanteblog.fr/ may decide to finish a relationship or this might produce an additional phase or chapter in a partnership. I thought it was ridiculous, but it made my employer happy and also maintained him off my back. Shoes made specifically for people with diabetes are offered at specialized stores and through directories, or you could visit your podiatrist for recommendations. If he obtains a meeting using your referral, talk to your close friend about the possibility of working together. There's one instance when it's fine to correct your manager in public: when your manager incorrectly assumes he or she made a mistake but actually didn't. He'll protect you to the end as well as will certainly be the most faithful buddy you could think of if Scorpio cares regarding you. Annabelle Bernadette Clementine Dodd (Belle") has busy moms and dads who are seldom residence, but she is lucky to be buddies with the family members's caretaker, Bea, that is constantly there for her, particularly in a moment of wonderful threat. Anybody who's discovered themselves in an unpleasant partnership will certainly DEFINITELY intend to have a look at Gone Girl, a genuinely frightening story of marital damage. On leaving his native London to cope with his Manchester based girlfriend, Rob struggles making brand-new friends. You will certainly have a level of neutrality in your sight of the circumstance on the first day that will certainly never be feasible once again because the personalities, the stress, the gains as well as losses you will certainly encounter will tint your reasoning as time goes by. Create a memo to yourself regarding exactly how you see the circumstance, the job, the ands also and also drawback aspects. Do not make plans or try to interrupt video game days - this will simply make him and his buddies dislike you. If your partnership curdle you might have the ability to kick your former enthusiast out of bed, only to run into them two hours later at the water colder. When William Hazlitt later tape-recorded his perceptions of Keats, he claimed that he lacked masculine energy" and also hardy spirit." Provided the focus that Keats's various other friends put on his pugnacity and resolution, the description seems unjustified, unless we suppose that Hazlitt was only keeping in mind exactly how Keats showed up at this particularly agonised time. In exchange for reserving several of your wants and needs, you get to share unique experiences with your friends. Hanna and also Will are the most significant scientific research geeks ever before, and I love them a lot more after checking out Stunning Manager. Three days weekly was a speed I can sustain When I included that fourth day in, the additional stress and anxiety started to develop and also accumulate. Countless Manager Setting - this is you with one life seeing just how far you could obtain versus a limitless selection of bosses. On Saturday, he played volleyball on the coastline with Keller and that night he went to the club, Tripp's, with two ladies buddies. As an example, it is not suggested for some guys with kidney, heart and liver troubles. Even if he must fall in love with you, he could still have trouble committing to marriage or any type of lasting relationship.

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ricardosousalemos · 8 years ago

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Glenn Gould: Bach: The Goldberg Variations

The press release began: “Columbia Masterworks’ recording director and his engineering colleagues are sympathetic veterans who accept as perfectly natural all artists’ studio rituals, foibles, or fancies. But even these hardy souls were surprised by the arrival of young Canadian pianist Glenn Gould and his ‘recording equipment’ for his first Columbia sessions. … It was a balmy June day, but Gould arrived in a coat, beret, muffler and gloves.” The rest of the bulletin detailed the other peculiarities that Gould had brought along with him when recording J.S. Bach’s Goldberg Variations for the label.

These were many. Instead of nobly holding his head high with a proper recitalist’s posture, Gould’s modified piano bench allowed him to get his face right near the keys, where he would proceed to hum audibly while playing. He soaked his arms in hot water for up to 20 minutes before takes and brought a wide variety of pills. He also brought his own bottles of water, which, for 1955, was still something that seemed like only Howard Hughes would do. It was these initial, broadly trumpeted peculiarities that helped shape the Gould myth throughout his too-short life, the audacious genius who slightly unsettled everyone around him. Fittingly, throughout the 20th century, there would be no more audacious and initially unsettling act of musical reinterpretation than Gould’s debut studio recording.

With his 1955 recording of Bach’s Goldberg Variations, the young pianist made a compelling case for a work that, at the time, was considered an obscure keyboard composition by an otherwise imposing master of Baroque music. Gould made his counter-argument for the piece’s rightful prominence by taking wild liberties with the source. In addition to playing the work on a piano instead of on the 18th-century era-appropriate harpsichord, Gould rushed tempos and varied his attack with aggression. His body flailed up and down his creaky chair, displaying melodramatic physical gestures—the very cliche of a young genius at work. But instead of seeming like an impudent youngster, Gould’s innovations signaled a clear love for the source material. He took the piece’s unusual status—a theme-and-variation work so varied that it could be hard for a lay audience to follow—and realized that it could be performed with modernist vigor, full of wild twists of character.

Gould drilled his famous technique over time, using an obscure practice known as “finger tapping” to produce muscle memory in his fingers—thereby allowing for dizzying flurries of notes with astonishing control and minimal physical exertion. And at a time when the future members of the Beatles were still obsessing over British skiffle bands, Gould was pioneering the use of the studio as an instrument by splicing together different takes: finding startling collisions of mood that could help drive his conception of a work.

In its fervor for relating Gould’s peculiar behaviors, Columbia’s first press release neglected to mention all the substantive ways in which the pianist was revolutionizing the art of interpretation. The critics, however, did notice. Gould’s Goldbergs received a raft of rave reviews from the New York Times, Newsweek, and Musical America, among others. Even writers who were unsure if his was a respectable way to approach Bach’s sublime music counted themselves impressed by Gould’s array of approaches—including his dancing sprightliness, a dashing top-gear of speed, and swooning sense of drama. And Gould proved a forceful advocate for his own ideas about the piece.

In erudite liner notes that accompanied the first LP issue in 1956, Gould writes about the strangeness of Bach’s theme-and-variation work: “...one might justifiably expect that … the principal pursuit of the variations would be the illumination of the motivic facets within the melodic complex of the Aria theme. However such is not the case, for the thematic substance, a docile but richly embellished soprano line, possesses an intrinsic homogeneity which bequeaths nothing to posterity and which, so far as motivic representation is concerned, is totally forgotten during the 30 variations.”

It’s a fascinating read of the piece—even if it seems trollish to accuse Bach’s Aria for adding “nothing to posterity.” (At least Gould was consistent in his dislike of obvious, top-line melodies. He didn’t much care for Italian opera, either.) Still, it’s true that the power associated with the culmination of Gould's Goldbergs—when the Aria returns—has something to do with how far the listener has traveled since the opening. If you want to make that Aria really floor people at the end, why not blow out the contrasts between the variations as you play them?

Gould makes an argument for his own radical vision of how the piece should be played. He sees his own jagged cadence not in defiance of but as a requisite to Bach’s score. Even listeners who put the Goldbergs on as background music are likely to sit up and pay attention when Gould pours it on during Variation No. 5. With that one far edge of intensity established, his ruminative way of handling Bach’s “Canons” is far more seductive. Gould’s lightning-fast runs tend to get all the press, but they cast into sharp relief his poetic handling of the so-called “black pearl” Variation No. 25. The power of Gould’s 1955 Goldbergs comes from the contrasts that Gould chooses to emphasize.

Gould’s first version of the Goldbergs reportedly sold 40,000 copies in its first five years: A considerable amount for any classical recording at any time, but particularly notable at the dawn of the LP era. The pop-cultural primacy of Gould’s first take on the Goldbergs also fostered some detractors, among them some Bach specialists like Wanda Landowska who were also interested in rescuing the piece from its relative obscurity. Late in life, Gould joined their ranks, offering some withering criticisms of his 1955 recording. In 1981, the pianist told the critic and biographer Tim Page that the 1955 handling of the “black pearl” variation had become particularly unwelcome to his own ears: “It seems to say—Please Take Note: This Is Tragedy. You know, it just doesn’t have the dignity to bear its suffering with a hint of quiet resignation.”

The idea of judging his famous 1955 recording on the basis of those criteria seems like a category error—or a set-up destined to prompt a negative assessment of his first record. The latter possibility is at least plausible, since when Gould offered this self-criticism to Page, he was doing so as part of a new publicity campaign. After being so closely identified with the Goldbergs for decades, Gould had made the rare decision to re-record a work already in his repertoire.

His 1981 recording of the Goldberg Variations is still recognizable as Gould: the strutting precision and emphasis on counterpoint apparent. So too is Gould’s famously divisive practice of humming along with his playing (a natural trait of Gould’s that seemed to flower into a deliberate affectation sometime between 1955 and 1981). But in the interim, much else has changed. There’s less swing in Gould’s playing; even when he turns up the tempi, it feels considered and autumnal.

Variation No. 5 is played in 37 seconds, the identical span of time Gould needed to burn through it in 1955. But in the 1981 variations, Gould makes good on his desire for dignity. The 1955 rendition of No. 5 has a compelling, nervy energy; the 1981 version takes a greater sense of self-possession. The ability to find that much expressive room inside a similar tempo resulted in Gould’s second masterstroke with the Goldbergs.This range of musical investigation signals something profound. Two different approaches to the same notes can say a great deal about how one ages and how tastes can move over time.

Gould died just days after Columbia released the second Goldberg set. His death enhanced the idea of this being a grand, final statement—as though touching the work again had created a fateful resolution for his startling debut. But even if Gould were still with us, the 1981 Goldberg performance would sound necessary. Here, Gould luxuriates in the stately character of the “French” overture (No. 16)—and its pivot away from the prior, minor-key canon—with greater pomp than on his first try. It’s just that the fun never spills over into abandon, as on Gould’s first pass. For all his eccentricities, Gould’s most striking trait may have been his ability to revise his own carefully considered understanding of a work that was important to him.

Both interpretations have their uses. Along with Bob Dylan’s “Love and Theft”, which I’d purchased at 12:01 am on Sept. 11, 2001, at the Virgin Megastore in Union Square, Gould’s 1981 Goldberg set was the album I played most often in the days that followed. With the ashen smell still in the air, and the streets south of 14th Street devoid of car traffic, most who lived inside the perimeter established by the National Guard spent some portion of each day balancing requirements of mourning and anger with the search for a new equilibrium—a way to feel less anxious that didn’t also involve pretending that something traumatic hadn’t just taken place.

I owned both versions of Gould’s Goldbergs because I had been told by guidebooks that this was a prerequisite for caring about classical music (it is.) Until that week, I’d spent most of my time with the 1955 recording—identifying with its direct access to youthful exuberance. Now, however, the high energy of that edition seemed a poor fit to the mood. The dignity Gould had intended to emphasize in 1981 came through clearly.

Record collecting and music appreciation often turn on arguments about rankings, peerlessness, and the greatest-of-all-time. Classical fans play this game as aggressively as anyone—so hard that they occasionally seem to rule out the possibility of any worthy new music being made for traditional classical instruments. And we do this with Gould’s Goldbergs, too. Think fast: 1955 or 1981? Sometimes that’s fun. But these recordings’ mutual portrait of variations held in a single mind—one capable of such deliberate differences of opinion with itself—seems not just like something you’re well advised to have in a music collection, but instead like an approach to life worth exploring and emulating.

#reviews-albums

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littlefawnlily · 8 years ago

Text

[ headcanons and other notables ]

CHARACTER’S SEXUALITY Even though, I hate the phrase ‘bi-curious’, I’d have to say that’s what Lily is. Meaning that, she would easily be bisexual if it were that easy. However, during the time and considering how much her family is already dealing with in regard to ‘hidden aspects Lily was born with’, she hides that part of herself. Maybe it would be different if she actually fell in love with a girl, but as she stands now: outwardly straight. PERSONALITY TRAITS pas·sion·ate ˈpaSH(ə)nət/ adjective showing or caused by strong feelings or a strong belief.

Lily is an all or nothing kind of girl. If she loves something, she loves it hard. If she hates it, she hates it hard. Middle of the road is for the mediocre in her opinion which can sometimes lead to positive and negative traits, the positive one, is her passion. Passion for others, for justice, for art, and music, and the people she loves.

judg·men·tal ˌjəjˈmen(t)l/ adjective having or displaying an excessively critical point of view.

The negative side of her passion is that she tends to make up her mind quickly. She knows what she thinks is right and she knows what she thinks is wrong. End of story. This leads to difficult situations when she eventually changes her mind or realizes that she may have been wrong to begin with.

AGE & DOB: 18, January 30, 1960; She’s an Aquarius, which would usually mean she has an openness, wit, and imagination unparalleled by any other zodiac than that of the Sagittarius. They value a challenge to their intellect, honesty from everyone around them, and looking inward for inspiration and guidance. However, they also tend to be stubborn, sarcastic, rebellious, and very independent.

PLACE OF BIRTH: Inistioge, County Kilkenny, Ireland

WAND: 10 1/4 “, made of willow wood which is an uncommon wood with healing powers. Ollivander said that an ideal willow wand owner has some unwarranted insecurity of some kind. Lily’s would be that she will never belong in either world that she is a part of. The muggle life is too boring for her. If she chose to be a part of it, she would always have to hide a part of herself, but the wizarding world doesn’t want her or people born like her. It’s a constant struggle of will. Willow wands also have a penchant for non-verbal magic, those wands choose those with great potential and are willing to learn much. As for the core, Lily has a wand with unicorn hair. They produce the most consistent magic, though they aren’t the most powerful. Her wand is described by Ollivander as swishy and particularly good for charm work, which has never surprised Lily as that is her favorite subject. What would surprise Lily is that Willow wood, outside of wandlore, is associated with psychic abilities, intuition, and dreams as she has never been interested in divinations as a subject.

BOGGART: Mermaids from the Black Lake. One time during her third year, she was out on the lake in an old boat trying to soak up as much sun as she could before it turned too cold. As she was reading her copy of The Adventures of Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle, she started to hum an old hymn her mum had sung to her when she was a baby. Suddenly she noticed a ripple in the water. When she looked to the dark, mirror-like reflection, she didn’t only see her red hair, she saw a pair of yellow eyes staring back at her. They disappeared when she screamed, but Lily has had nightmares about that event ever since. A psychologist might say that meant she was terrified of disappearing quickly with no one knowing what happened to her.

AMORTENTIA: The first time Lily brewed a cauldron of Amortentia she was unsurprised to find that she smelled blackberries, like the ones in her sister’s garden at home. They reminded her of her love of the outdoors and adventure, and the love she had for her family. She was equally unsurprised to smell leather like the tomes from the library that she spent some of her favorite nights at Hogwarts poring over. The surprise came with the last scent; broomstick polish.

PATRONUS: Lily cannot yet cast a fully corporeal patronus. It drives her absolutely mad, because no matter how she tries, she simply can’t seem to fix whatever it is that’s blocking her. Not to mention, Lily Evans doesn’t fail at charms. When she eventually masters the charm, though. Her patronus will take the form of a doe. “The doe is a soft and innocent patronus to have, and those with it reflect this greatly. They have a comforting, almost maternal way about them, and it can draw many to them, and this can cause them to have many friends and admirers. They are social people, but they are not too strong in this aspect immediately, instead being a bit hesitant before getting to know a person. They can sometimes form impressions of others before truly getting to do this, however, and can become stand-offish to these individuals.” QUOTE: “I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am. You take away my conscience, my ability to empathize, my intuition, my creativity, my deep appreciation of the little things, my vivid inner life, my keen awareness to others pain and my passion for it all.”

HEADCANONS: • Lily was raised in a Protestant Christian household so when she received her letter to Hogwarts, informing her that she was a witch, she panicked. She’d always been taught that witches, future seers, psychics, and palm readers were possessed by demons. They were evil. But when her parents rejoiced over the news, applauding her and celebrating her skill, Lily was relieved. Maybe all witches weren’t inherently bad. While there are no churches for her to attend while at school, she is certain to be at the chapel every Sunday when she visits home. Lily is adamant that she wants to maintain her spirituality as well as her magic endeavors. She does still struggle with her two contradicting identities and beliefs, though. • Being a child of the 70s, music is definitely a huge influence in Lily’s life. Growing up, she was a huge fan of Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones, and The Who. To this day, My Generation is one of her favorite songs. However to many people’s surprise, Lily is a huge fan of the punk rock movement. The Clash, The Sex Pistols, The Ramones, Patti Smith… she has all the records and posters. Whenever she and Marlene have had one too many shots of Fire Whiskey, Lily has been known to paint her face like Bowie and sing Cherrybomb at the top of her lungs to anyone that will listen. • Lily Elizabeth Evans is one of the biggest Quidditch fans you will ever meet. She never misses a match, she makes the best signs, and she loses her voice from cheering every time there is a game. Although she is actually terrified of flying herself, she makes a point to study the matches and tell Marlene and James everything they could improve on for the next match. Lily knows they’re both absurdly annoyed by it, but she absolutely refuses to lose the Quidditch cup. Not to mention, she has a thing for athletes. • Lily’s magic is at its strongest when she is protecting someone. Although she is naturally a very powerful witch, there is something archaic about her powers. She has a primal urge to protect people, especially the innocent and oppressed, and her magic responds to that innately. She also has a gift for non-verbal magic that she has yet to discover.

#;about lily #;biography #;headcanon

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