#and like. no. it's because their political music is cringe as fuck most of the time

[vibrantlifeboringdeath]

M*se are so fucking funny to me, I just read a Guardian article that unironically described The Resistance as 'think 1984 but directed by James Cameron' and meant it as a compliment. That sounds like the worst thing in the world, and the album DOES suck funnily enough

[gabessquishytum]

Dream has been hearing rumors (those biddies love to gossip about Dream's family) that Orpheus has gotten into an inappropriate relationship. Something, something "sugar baby", something, something f*cking an older man.

Dream doesn't want to interfere in Orpheus's life, but the Endless family, and Dream himself, have money, not as much as in their storied past, but enough that Orpheus doesn't have to whore out his young ass for money.

Dream isn't even judging, he just want his son not to make mistakes similar to the ones that Dream made in his youth. Dream knows how seductive those older men can be....hell Dream is still young himself (not a twink anymore certainly, but Dream had Orpheus young, so he doesn't look like the father of a college student.).

Suffice to say, Dream learns the name of the man supposedly paying for Orpheus's ass and goes to see him, maybe he can warn him off Orpheus. R. Gadling has something like 10 or 15 years on Dream, hopefully Dream can get him to see reason.

💶 💶 💶 💶 💶

Hob would have liked it to be known, if he was interested in talking to those judgmental society b*tches, that he does not need to pay a young man for sex. Thank you very much. He might like to take care of his lovers, but so far he draws the line at 30-year age differences. He is not that much of a creeper.

Orpheus is a fantastic young man, a musical prodigy, and Hob knows some people in the industry. All he did was offer introductions, that Orpheus, with his gift, would have most likely developed on his own, in time. He is not sleeping with a boy young enough to be his son,,,his son Robin introduced them for goodness sake!

When Orpheus's father comes to Hob is high dungeon, judgingly talking about inappropriate relationships and all but screaming at Hob, in his beautiful deep voice, for Hob to stop sleeping with his son -- Hob might have fallen in love on the spot. Blush high on his cheeks, hair a mess, looking like he just woke up from a good f*ck, Hob wanted to bite.

And mess with him a little,,,,,Hob offered (jokingly he thought) to stop sleeping with Orpheus if his father took his place in Hob's bed. He was expecting more yelling, not Morpheus Endless to say yes on the spot.

Oh Dream...... you poor little horny idiot. Trying so hard to be the best dad, but Orpheus is cringing SO hard.

Hob really was joking about exchanging Orpheus for Morpheus, and then Dream goes ahead and looks so sincere and so sexy... but Hob isn't a bad person (not anymore) so he sighs and explains that it was a joke. He's not fucking anyone right now, especially not Dream’s kid. He is in fact in the middle of a very long dry spell, and yes he might be going into too much detail now but at least Morpheus looks like he believes him. He sighs and smoothes down his hair and Hob is almost disappointed to see that anger fade away. Morpheus does at least blush prettily and say "call me Dream", so that's. A nice development.

And then Dream asks if Hob was joking about wanting to sleep with him, and if he thinks that Dream is too old to be a sugarbaby? Because he'd actually be willing to give it a try... And he says it in this teasing, flirty way that goes right to Hob’s dick. He's desperately hoping that his dryspell might finally be over. But he's going to have to pull out all the stops and really woo this delicious man.

Before Dream knows it, he's being whisked off to Hob’s box at the opera for a night of champagne and beautiful music. Hob explains that he doesn't take just anyone up to his box - only pretty boys that he really wants to spoil. Dream nearly melts into a puddle over being called a "boy". And yes, he's still relieved when Hob confirms that he never took Orpheus for a night at the opera.

Apparently Dream’s penchant for older guys really hasn't faded away, because he's getting butterflies whenever Hob puts a hand on his back to guide him, or orders their drinks with polite authority. If Orpheus was fucking Hob, then Dream would absolutely be fighting his own son tooth and nail over this man. Dream is embarrassed by his own horniness but not enough to stop - maybe he's doesn't actually need a sugar daddy, but he sure as hell WANTS this one <3

[redwolf17]

Hozier and romanticizing Ireland, or why the “bog man” shtick should be dropped back into the bog from whence it came

So after a slapdash, frustrated post about the politics of Hozier's music went batshit yesterday, I wanna do a quick follow up about the whole bog man thing, which multiple people mentioned in the reblogs and tags.

Artists are usually known by their names, either the one they got at birth or the one they picked for their career. Beyoncé Knowles Carter goes by Beyoncé, Stefani Germanotta goes by Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift goes by Taylor Swift, etc.

Andrew Hozier-Byrne goes by the stage name Hozier. When talking about him online, most people just call him Hozier, or sometimes Andrew for emphasis or to be silly. Then you have the people who call him stuff like this:

Yeahhhhhhhh, that's just some of what I found in like a 5 minute search. If you search tumblr for "bog man" or "forest daddy" it's almost all posts about Hozier; there's a lot more (and weirder) if you go look on TikTok.

People from other countries romanticizing Ireland isn't new, but that doesn't make it acceptable. Ireland is very much a modern country with modern problems, despite media (mostly American) which prefers to focus on Ireland as an exotic, idealized land, a postcard from the past where everyone lives in cottages and dresses in green and only speaks in mysterious rhyming couplets. Heck, only 3 in 10 Irish people live in rural areas. The other 7 in 10 live in urban or suburban areas, including Hozier. He lives in County Wicklow, which is quite close to Dublin, a city of over 500,000 people and also Ireland's capital.

Like, I'm not saying anyone is The Devil for making a couple "bog man" cracks. God knows I made a few of them back in 2019; one of my old posts makes me cringe because I joked about Hozier and fairy mounds. And you can find old examples of Hozier humoring the gag here and there, whether because he found it funny at the time or because he was just playing along.

Lately, though? When the bogfather/fae king stuff comes up in interviews, Hozier seems uncomfortable with it, even though he stays polite:

Like. Hozier is just a guy. A dude named Andrew who sings and plays guitar and writes songs and is a fallible human being. Artists can't completely control their image, but if you're a fan of someone's music, you should try to treat them as a person, not a mythical creature or a bundle of stereotypes about their country or a flawless statue to be stuck up on a pedestal.

All of us (including me!) fuck up sometimes. But once we know better, we should choose to do better.

[albertdabuttler]

Zombie | K.H.

MASTERLIST

fandom: 80s

pairings: Kirk Hammett x F!Reader

WARNINGS: This story starts with a plot. Friends to lovers, LOOOTS of fluff, kissing, kind of having someone throw themself on the reader (???) more fluff, smut, fluffy smut, fingering, p in v, (safe sex dw 🤣) overstimulation, some form of comedy…

summary: An initially boring Halloween night takes an intriguing turn when a game of spin the bottle has you hoping your kissing skills are good enough for your best friend.

WC: 6.6k

gif not mine!!

A/N: Hi losers, finally posted yayyyy! I wrote and posted this on wattpad and think you guys deserve to see it too! And guess what??? I have another story coming right after this 😍 Also I kinda add detail to what you wear like those corny wattpad writers… I’m sorry…but I swear its all inclusive!!

———————

10:47PM, October 31st, 1979.

Here you sat on the kitchen counter of one of your classmates homes, loud booming music all around you, drunk teenagers making out with each other everywhere and some game going on in the living room.

You were dressed as a ghost, pale makeup across your face, black shadow around your eyes and white clothing, ripped and stained to make it look old.

"That guy over there's been looking at you all night," said Jocelyn, another one of your classmates and your best girlfriend since seventh grade. She was dressed as the Bride of Frankenstein.

"Don't look now, but he's totally checking you out!" She said, standing in front of you while trying to subtly look at the guy over your shoulder.

"What's he look like?" You questioned, hoping it was a certain long, wavy-haired brunet you had eyes for since second grade.

"Blond hair, brown eyes and he's jacked. He's dressed like a surfer." She smirked. Hearing her words, you whipped your head around to see the boy she described smile widely at you, sending a small wave your way. He was dressed like a stereotypical surfer, medium shaggy hair, sky blue swim trunks, a white muscle shirt and pink sunglasses.

You politely smiled, waved back and turned back around, "Not my type... You know I like brunets."

Jocelyn groaned in disappointment and annoyance, "Okay well the one you're thinking about doesn't look at you like most of the guys here."

"That's because most of the guys here can't keep it in their pants." You rolled your eyes, hopping off the counter and making your way to the living room. You spotted Tom dressed like a basketball player on the couch with his arm around a girl. She was dressed like a devil, laughing at the game they were playing. Sitting a couple feet away from him, you asked, "What game are we playing?"

"Spin the bottle," the boy replied, the alcohol making his words slur with a smile. You internally praised yourself for going to the bathroom when they were making all the girls play a drinking game.

"Hey!!" you heard someone call out for you, turning to the group whose eyes were all on you. Feeling an intense wave of embarrassment, you spotted the beer bottle on the coffee table turned towards you.

"Fuck."

Looking up to see who spun it, you lowly groaned when it was the surfer boy. He was a pretty attractive guy, above average looking, nice bod, so things could be way worse. You really didn't want to kiss the guy. Your gut told you he was a creep. But of course you knew there was absolutely no way in hell you could get out of this without drinking, so you stood up, walking towards him with an awkward smile on your face.

Standing in front of him for a couple seconds, you leaned up and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, quickly turning around to sit again.

Everyone in the room booed at you before the tall blond grabbed your wrist and kissed you with a little too much tongue. You cringed and pulled back, but he didn't let go. He tried to kiss you again so you shoved his face away with excessive force.

The room was quiet. The upbeat music in the background making it that much more awkward.

"That was gross," you chuckled, scoffing and turning back to your seat.

"Don't eat the garlic bread before the game, guys." You said, earning a few laughs.

I mean, the guy was being far too desperate for a silly game of kissing random people. You had the right, especially if the kiss was bad.

It was when you sat down that you noticed him. He was dressed in a zombie outfit, makeup of fake scars on him. Finally you found him after almost the entire night of looking for him, or rather waiting for him to pass by near you, but it's the same difference.

Kirk stood by the doorway in the corner of the room, a smile with a look that mocked you.

You subtly stuck your tongue out at him, earning the finger in return.

It was Jocelyn's turn next, she kissed a random guy, and the turns kept going until it was your turn to spin.

You really, really hoped it landed on Kirk.

So you spun it hard and fast, the bottle sitting there spinning for longer than usual until it finally slowed down, landing on the other side of the room.

It was him. It landed on Kirk.

He stared at the bottle, scratching the back of his neck with a cringe on his face.

Now what? Surely you didn't think it through, how would you kiss him? Would it ruin your almost lifelong friendship? Would he see you differently and finally acknowledge his feelings for you? Or would he dislike it and judge you based off the way you kiss?

You didn't realize the moments that had passed until Kirk was standing right in front of you.

"We don't have to do this if you don't wanna." He whispered as he looked down at you, awkwardly pursing his lips.

"Nah, gotta play the game," You took his hands and almost jumped up with excitement despite your nerves.

Kirk cleared his throat, turning to the guy you kissed earlier and in a mocking tone, "Watch and learn, motherfucker." He said, giggling at the guy.

He turned his head back to you, trying to hold in a laugh. But he hesitated, finally realizing the spot he was in. A light pink dusted his cheeks. He ignored it and moved one of his hands to cup your cheek, the other to the back of your head.

The moment felt like it was going in slow motion as he leaned in, gazing into your eyes and then looking straight at your lips until his lightly pressed up against them.

Wow.

Kirk was a great kisser. It made you wonder how much experience he had.

He was quite smooth with it, slowly moving his lips against yours. He pulled away for a short breath and your reaction, until he turned his head the other way, leaning back in to kiss you again at another angle. Just to see if it was any different. People began to cheer.

Moving your hands up around his neck, you surely didn't expect anything like this, if anything you expected a short, boring kiss.

Your heart was racing, you felt your face become hot as you nervously played with the hair on the nape of his neck. He pulled back, his eyes widening in horror.

He quickly let go of you and moved back to his place, leaving you standing there as the game continued on.

You looked at him confused. It was just a kiss right? Part of a game. You didn't have to act like it had to be special. But why'd he kiss you like that, then act like it was gross?

Standing up, you made your way to the kitchen, "I'm gonna get a drink." You stated in slight disappointment, swerving past Kirk and earning 'Oo's' from the crowd.

Now Kirk felt guilty for pulling away so fast.

Kirk always liked you. Just not in the way he thought he did. Yes, he'd occasionally feel the room get hot when you checked him out, thinking he wouldn't notice. Or get nervous when you looked too pretty... But that meant nothing. It would be the same if you were a stranger.

However, he really liked that kiss. The sweet taste of punch with a hint of alcohol. How soft your lips were. How your hands felt as they lightly tugged his hair. He wondered what other situations you'd pull his hair in... Maybe when he made love to you... Physically showing you, and verbally affirming how much he really did love you. How close your body was to his. That was the closest proximity you two had ever been in. He really enjoyed it.

Wait.

Fuck, does that mean he likes you now?

He couldn't stop thinking about it. About how the kiss made him feel. About how you were literally perfect for him. You knew everything about him, and he knew everything about you. He loved everything about you, there wasn't a single thing he could think of that he didn't like about you. God it was all so cheesy and gross. How could he let himself think like he was in a high school Rom-Com movie.

All these thoughts overwhelmed him with excitement, making him smile widely and get up to look for you. Just then remembering you were probably upset or something by the way you left so abruptly.

You sat on the kitchen island counter again, facing away from the living room, watching as a few couples kissed and giggled around the room and you sighed in annoyance.

"Hey."

The familiar voice made you freeze. You knew he was standing behind you, waiting for you to acknowledge him but you pretended like you didn't hear him over the music.

Your eyes followed him as he passed in front of you, leaning on the counter across from the one you sat atop, crossing his arms.

He cleared his throat.

"Hi," you said with a plastic smile, your voice cracking.

He smiled back genuinely, "Sorry if that was... Weird. We had to, otherwise we'd have to drink."

"Yeah... It's fine. Just a kiss," you laughed awkwardly, staring at the boy in front of you, hoping that he might actually like you. Just because of the way he kissed you.

He looked great in his costume. Fake bite marks on his neck and arms, his hair was messy. He had a white tee with faux blood stains and rips in it, revealing some skin and the light definition of his muscles. Over that, he had a leather jacket, the sleeves rolled up, with black ripped jeans and a fob too.

"I thought you came for a drink," he said, grinning with his stupidly cute crooked teeth and that annoying little dimple, licking his dumb red and plump lips. "Right," you chuckled, hopping off at the same time he stepped forward, nearly bumping into him.

You wanted to be as far from him as possible.

"Hey," he called out your name.

"Yeah?" you replied, turning back around to look at him.

"The drinks are over here," he chuckled, pointing his thumb behind him where there were a couple of large coolers on the ground.

"Right," you mentally face palmed. He handed you a bottle of beer and you reached for the top to avoid coming in contact with his hand.

It still had the cap on but you couldn't take it off and chuckled in embarrassment. Why was it so awkward now?

"Here," he took the bottle from your hand and popped the cap off on the edge of the counter, handing it to you.

When you reached to grab it again, he pulled back.

You paused, moving to try and grab it again but he held it away from you.

"Kirk."

"Yes?" He smiled cheekily.

"Give me my beer."

"Well it's not yours until you've taken a sip from it, am I right?"

You sighed, "Just give me the bottle, Kirk," going to reach for it again but he held it behind his back.

"Kirk!" You chuckled.

Now he reached his goal. Finally a smile.

Trying to attain for it for the third time, he moved it away once again, holding it above his head this time.

"Come on," he chuckled, "If you want it you just have to take it." He stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Gripping his shoulder, you got on your toes trying to reach for it. He watched your hand as it was a couple inches from the bottle, "Ugh, you almost have it!" He mocked, turning his head down to look at you.

Locking eyes with him for a second, his breath hitched as his eyes flickered to your lips once more. An intense wave of desire for another taste, he slowly leaned in.

You did notice this but decided to be oblivious and ignore it. Kirk was a ticklish guy, so you poked the side from which arm he was holding up, causing him to immediately flinch and bring his arm down. You quickly snatched the bottle from his hand, "HA! Loser."

"Hey, that's cheating!" He said, laughing nervously, hoping you didn't notice his attempt.

"Losers, weepers." You said, turning around to grab a piece of candy from a bowl.

Taking a long sip of your beer, Kirk spoke up before the silence became awkward.

"So about that guy you kissed earlier,"

You almost choked on your drink but kept it up to your lips to avoid having to say anything.

"Was my kiss better than his?" he raised his brow playfully.

This time you did choke, coughing for air as you set the bottle down. Kirk hurried to you and softly patted your back.

"You okay? Sorry..." What a stupid question, he thought.

Grabbing the bottle again, you took another sip to stop the itching in your throat.

"Are you good?" He cautiously let go as you cleared your throat.

"Uh-m yeah..." Speaking was uncomfortable, so you cleared your throat once again.

"Sorry. Uh, what were you saying?" You knew exactly what he was saying but hoped and hoped he forgot about it.

A sadistic smile grew on his face.

"My kiss was better than the other guy's, right?" He sat atop the counter.

You stared at him in disbelief.

"What do you think, Kirk?" You asked him genuinely.

He threw his hands up in defense, "Hey, you're my best friend so you've gotta be on my side."

You rolled your eyes, thanking the lord for his lighthearted personality.

"Yes. Your kiss was better. He used too much tongue." You cringed.

"Good..." He chuckled, clearing his throat. His palms were getting sweaty.

"...Did..." He hesitated.

"Did...you like it...?" He kept his gaze on you for any kind of response or reaction.

You tried to look away from him, but his eyes kept you in a trance.

"Uhm... Yeah. You're not a bad kisser, y'know." You smiled, playfully hitting his shoulder. An attempt to lighten the mood.

He smiled back. "Alright, good." He laughed lightly, "I know that if you liked it then it really was good."

"What makes you say that?" You questioned, a little confused.

"You're brutally honest with me."

You paused. Maybe you weren't as honest as you should be. You've been lying to him since the second grade. Or rather keeping something from him. Which is still dishonesty.

But you couldn't tell him now. I mean, you got over him a ton of times, so you could do it again. And you've liked other guys more than you liked him... But you still always had a little thing for him in the back of your mind when you had those other crushes, you hated how smitten you were.

"Yeah, I am aren't I?" You smirked. "That's why I'm better than all of your friends." You joked.

He only smiled at you.

"I love you."

You turned around just in case your blush was noticeable.

"Good."

Turning back around, "I love you too," you lifted your bottle up to him, "but remember you're still a loser."

He playfully rolled his eyes, "Yeah whatever."

Walking towards the living room, it had seemed that the game was still going on.

"Wanna get outta here?" He asked, walking up next to you, motioning his head towards the general area in which the front door was located.

"Sure. It's kinda boring here anyways."

Kirk chuckled, looking at Tom and mouthing to him that he was gonna leave.

"I'll go warm up the car," he informed.

"Alright," you responded, walking up to Jocelyn to let her know you were leaving with Kirk, since she was your ride there.

“Let me know if he makes a move," she whispered, winking at you.

"Oh shut up," you scoffed.

"What? He looked real into it when it was your turn. One would think he was in love with you!"

"Stop it, Jocelyn!" You giggled, getting up to leave.

"Use protection!" She yelled rather loudly.

You gagged in response and turned around, lifting your hand next to your head and flipping her off.

The walk to the car was difficult. At first you had to swerve through a crowded foyer in order to leave the house, and the walk to the car was cold. It was windy, but thankfully Kirk had driven up to the front of the house from where he was parked. Which was kind of far.

As you reached for the handle, you heard a click and pulled, only to find it was locked.

You groaned loudly, "Kirk, it's cold as shit out here! Stop it with your stupid games."

He rolled down the window a crack, "Only if you say the magic word."

"Please."

"No, the magic word." He smirked.

"God, you're such an asshole sometimes." You sighed.

He made a buzzer sound, "Wrong."

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you dragged your hand across your face, knowing he wouldn't budge until you played along. "Abracadabra."

The door clicked and you wasted no time in opening the door to sit down.

"Fuck you."

"Thanks." He said, shifting into gear and driving off.

"Wanna get ice cream?" He asked.

"Uh... Yeah but I'm pretty tired. Could you just drop me off at home?" You replied.

"Mhm."

The ride home was a little quiet, so you decided to turn on the radio. Damage Case by Motörhead began playing at full volume, causing the both of you to jump as you quickly reached for the volume to lower it.

Turning the knob for a different radio station, you found one with a softer tone of music.

How Long by Ace was playing. The romantic vibrations it gave off caused you to quickly switch the radio station, but Kirk grabbed your hand.

"Go back, I like that song"

"You do?" You questioned, scoffing as if he was a weirdo for liking it, even if you did too.

"Yeah." He chuckled, his eyes still on the road.

So you went back, and the song played.

A short moment passed and Kirk spoke, "You know you're my best friend, right?" He said.

"Uhh, yeah...? Where's this coming from?"

There was a light ahead going from yellow to red.

As he came to a complete stop, he turned to you, "I know this is real corny, but I would do anything for you. Anything. Just say the word. Okay?"

"Okay...." You dragged out, letting out an awkward laugh. "Thanks Kirk."

"Anytime." He clicked his teeth and winked, pointing a finger gun your way.

The light turned green as you chuckled.

Finally you turned the familiar corner onto your block. It wasn't long until Kirk pulled over to the curb in front of your home, "Thanks Kirk, see ya," you said as you opened the door.

"Hey, wait," he called, "Could I maybe spend the night? My dad said it's best I don't go home tonight..." He pursed his lips.

"Oh yeah, sure. My parents aren't in town until Sunday, so... We can watch as many scary movies as we want without getting yelled at to go to sleep," you chuckled.

"Wicked," he pumped his fist, turning off the ignition and hopping out of the car.

"Whaddya wanna watch?" He asked as he followed you to the front door.

"You already know." You turned to him, smirking as you unlocked the door and walked inside.

"Right." He giggled, "Classic."

It wasn't long until the both of you were in your room, Kirk sitting on the bed while you put in the VHS for Creature from the Black Lagoon.

"I'm gonna go change real quick," said Kirk as he stood up, grabbing clothes he'd left there before and walking out your room towards the bathroom.

You also quickly got changed into sweats before he returned. Suddenly hearing your door open, you saw Kirk standing there shirtless, holding his shirt up in one hand.

"Have you been wearing this?" He asked, hiding a smile.

"...No." You replied, trying so hard to keep your eyes on his, but you couldn't help when they moved down to his bare torso. He had already taken off all his makeup

"Okay just making sure you're not the one who absolutely drenched this in vanilla perfume."

You cringed. "Sorry. I mean it's your fault for leaving it here." You held your hands up.

He scoffed and went back to finish changing.

He threw the clothes from his costume in one corner of your room, hopping back on the bed as you left for the bathroom too, to wash your makeup off and brush your teeth.

"Alright, you ready?" You questioned, shutting the door to your room and turning off the light, leaving a little lamp on your desk in the corner of your room.

You sat with your back on the headboard, Kirk laying down, his head in the pillows.

When it began playing, you felt Kirk lay his head in your lap and you instinctively began raking your fingers through his hair. He brought up one of his hands to rest on your shin. At this point, you couldn't help but just look at him, his side profile from above, how perfect he was. Like fuck. Why the fuck is he so perfect?

There wasn't a moment of the day in which you didn't think about him. It made you sad sometimes, that he never acknowledged or noticed it. But then again, you weren't really making it obvious either.

But what made all that disappointment go away was that kiss. You were so annoyed that you kept thinking about it.

You thought about what Jocelyn said. About how he looked "so into it" or whatever. It was hard to forget the feeling of his soft plush lips on yours. Goddamn. And the way he held your face, with such gentleness. How he went back in for another like the first one just wasn't enough.

Here you began thinking about kissing him again. Right here, right now. And if it would get intense, what it could lead to... How good he was in that department.

Trying to pay attention to the movie, you clenched your jaw hard, trying not to let yourself think about those things.

No, not with him right there. When he was gone yes, but not now.

Those thoughts didn't give up. The image of him on top of you just popped into your mind. It wasn't your fault. Your mind trailed off thinking about his hand on your leg, if he got up and moved it up to your thighs... How his calloused fingers would feel touching you in all the right places... It felt like only five minutes had passed but the movie was suddenly over.

"Did you enjoy the 87th time of watching that movie?" He asked out of the blue, lifting himself so that his face was at your level.

"Yes, I did." You replied after a moment.

He got off the bed and walked to the little shelf you had with all your VHS tapes. He bought one for you not too long ago, of a movie that had come out earlier this year called 'Alien.'

You had watched it with him in theaters a few months ago and immediately fell in love with it. That Ripley chick was such a badass.

He put that one on, the package still hadn't been opened so this would be your fourth time watching it. You already watched it three times at the movies.

It began playing and he walked back to sit on the bed again, only this time he sat against the headboard, to your left. Of course you had to lay your head on his shoulder otherwise it would feel weird.

He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, laying his chin on the top of your head, sighing in exhaustion.

Woah, your hair smelled really nice, he noticed.

Now it was Kirk's turn to think about you. That kiss. He had been thinking about it all night since it had happened. It pissed him off that he never thought of you that way and suddenly out of the blue its like all he wanted to do was you. And god, why did he have to go in for another? He thought maybe that gave it all away. Oh but the way you held his hair, god that felt so good. He wanted you to pull his hair and tell him how good he made you feel.

Well shit, Kirk might actually be in love with you too. Hell yeah he's loved you his whole life, but never like this. It's like that kiss opened his eyes or something.

He lifted his head to look at you, just to admire you. You felt this movement and looked back up at him.

Shit, should he say something?

"Is everything okay?" You asked.

He couldn't respond, he opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out. God that was embarrassing... All he thought about was kissing you again. He's never been so obsessed over something so little but here he was.

He wondered if you wanted to kiss him as badly as he wanted to kiss you right now.

"Kirk?" You pulled back a little, "Are you okay?" You asked with sincere concern.

"I wanna kiss you again right now." He didn't hesitate.

You just sat there flabbergasted.

Never in a million years would you have thought to hear those words from Kirk.

"...What?" You felt like you heard him wrong.

"Are you messing wi-"

That's when he cut you off and pressed his lips against yours again.

Pulling back, he watched for your reaction.

All you could do was stare between his eyes and lips.

"That was nice." You finally said.

He just smiled and went back in. This time he held the back of your head and pushed your face against his in order to kiss you harder, your hands lifting to rest on his chest. His head turned, syncing the movement of his lips with yours as his free hand slid down to your thigh, dragging it up and down. He slowly slipped his tongue past your lips, teasing yours as you pushed yours against his.

As your tongues danced, the hand on your thigh moved closer to your core, but it felt wrong to touch you before you said he could. So he moved it to your jaw.

The two of you were finally running out of breath so you finally pulled away.

Neither of you said anything, the only noises in the room were that of the movie and both your heavy breaths.

Kirk had finally caught his breath, "I like you. I like like you. And now I really wanna...Touch you..."

You smiled, "Took you about ten years."

"Ten years...?! What?" he looked at you surprised.

"Kirk," you laughed, "I've liked you this whole time, and you notice now?"

He stared at you in disbelief, his face slowly turning a shade of red.

Just the thought of you constantly having him on your mind turned him on. He looked at your lips again, "Sorry," he said before kissing you again. "My whole life has been a lie..." He joked, smiling, pushing his lips against yours once more, then moving to press kisses on your cheeks. He pecked a trail of small kisses all along your jawline, causing you to giggle, until he licked a stripe along your neck.

His hand moved from your face down to your torso, your heart skipping for a second as he began to kiss all over your neck, searching for that one spot until he reached one and you tensed up a little. That's where he decided to suck and bite at, leaving a quite obvious and visible bruise.

He subtly lifted the hem of your shirt, moving his hand under and finally coming in contact with your bare skin, continuing to peck at your neck.

His hand lightly squeezed your waist as he let out a heavy sigh, leaving lingering kisses on your jaw, moving back to kiss your lips once more.

"Can I?" He whispered, his fingers barely sliding under the waistband of your sweats.

"Yeah." You answered, watching his hand as it moved lower. It was then that you noticed a bulge in his pants, it made your face get hot but you didn't say anything about it.

He purposely made his movements slow, his fingers never quite giving you any relief. He liked to tease. But of course, like all horny teenage boys, he was beginning to get desperate. His fingers found your bundle of nerves and he began to rub small circles over the cloth of your panties.

You let out a heavy sigh, "Is that good enough?" He asked, moving his head up to look at you, making sure he was doing a good job.

"Yeah... Feels good, but... More please.." You breathed heavily in between words.

His hand moved up and his fingers reached under the band of your panties, two of his fingers slowly moving up and down your lips, "You're so wet..." He whispered in excitement, a small smile on his face as if he was surprised.

Finally he pushed his middle finger inside you, slowly pumping in and out until he added another. He began moving a bit faster, curling up into just the right spot, making you to let out a small groan.

"Oh, fuck." You said, your eyes shut in pleasure.

His palm began rubbing against your clit, making your legs slightly come together.

"Does that feel good?" He breathed, watching your face just to make sure once again.

"Yes, fuck yeah... Keep going," you moaned quietly.

The movements in his hand quickened, his eyes still on your face as it contorted into visible pleasure, causing him to softly smile to himself.

You leaned up to kiss him and he sighed into it, his fingers scissoring inside you as he kept pumping them in and out. He pulled away and looked down at his hand only to see it disappearing into your pants.

"I'm gonna stop for a bit, okay?" He said, slowly pulling his fingers out.

"What happened?" You asked nervously as you watched him move off the bed.

He began pulling his shirt over his head, and your legs instinctively parted, "What are you gonna do?" You questioned.

"Do you have condoms...?"

You blushed and quickly got up, "Let me go check," you said as you walked out the door, your knees already a little weak.

Kirk noticed this and laughed.

"Shut up," you said as you walked towards your parents room.

It was a little odd thinking that your parents might have this kind of thing and you would actually die if you found what you were looking for on a different occasion, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

You checked your dad's drawers and surprisingly found nothing, so you moved to your moms side and the first thing you saw was exactly what you needed. You grabbed one of the condoms and immediately ran back to your room, closing the door and locking it even if no one would come home.

When you turned around you were met with Kirk sitting on the edge of your bed, propped on his elbows with his head thrown back, waiting for you.

Now there was a very obvious tent in his pants.

"Does this work?" You sat behind him on the bed, holding up the condom as he turned to look at you.

"Yeah..." He leaned in to kiss you again, slowly pushing you to lay back. He lifted himself and helped you take your shirt off, leaving you in your bra and pants.

His pupils dilated, "You're so beautiful," he said as he looked down at your body, leaning up to kiss you for the umpteenth time.

He tugged at the waistband of your pants and pulled them down, you lifted your hips and he was able to pull them all the way off. He then got up and pulled his own off, along with his boxers.

Kirk had a big dick when he was hard. And it was slightly intimidating too.

He leaned back down, keeping one hand free and the other next to your head.

"Will this hurt?" You asked.

He looked at you confused,

"Are you a virgin?"

"No, your dick is just bigger than the others," you replied.

His face got beet red, "Shut the fuck up," he laughed, leaning closer to you and pulling your panties down, inserting his fingers into you once again, making you gasp.

He didn't keep them in for long before pulling them out and bringing his hand down, using your wetness to begin stroking himself. His eyes closed as he sighed.

He opened his eyes again, "Can you open the..." he huffed, "the condom," he asked, watching your hand as you grabbed the small package and ripped it open with your teeth.

"Can you help me put it on?" He looked at you helplessly. He was playing a game and he was good at it.

You moved your hand down and he let go of himself, grabbing onto your wrist as you rolled it on.

It's been so long since you wanted to do this, to have him in your grasp, so you spit on your hand and began slowly jerking him off. He let out a low groan before wrapping his hand around yours and squeezing a little tighter.

Looks like he likes it rough, you thought.

"Oh my fuck, " He whined, shutting his eyes tight and throwing his head back, then leaning down to bury his face into your neck.

Not long passed before he pulled your hand away and huffed, "You ready?" he asked, holding himself closer to you, "Yeah," you answered. Kirk brushed his tip against your entrance, sliding it up and down and smiling at your reactions. He then pushed himself in an inch at a time.

Your jaw fell open along with his, the two of you looking one another in the eyes, your eyes fluttering shut as his own rolled back.

Once he was all the way in, he stopped, moving down to press his lips onto yours.

"You feel so warm..." He breathed.

"Please," you whined, hoping he would understand it was for him to move.

Kirk slowly began pulling out before he pushed back in, slowly picking up his pace until he was thrusting steadily. He bit his lip, trying to suppress a groan you figured. One of his hands brushed down your side, stopping at your thigh to pull it around his waist and give himself more space.

His thrusts got harder before he hit your g-spot. Letting out a low moan, you moved your hands up Kirk's chest and around his shoulders to rest on the back of his neck.

"Kirk," you whimpered and he released a heavy breath as he began to repeatedly hit your sweet spot again.

"Right there," you whispered closing your eyes and grabbing a handful of his hair.

"You're so soft," he sighed. He was slipping in and out fairly easily.

You pulled his hair with one hand, digging your nails into his shoulder blade with the other, causing Kirk to stifle a moan.

Kirk tried going faster, harder, in order to give you the release you needed. He finally let out a high pitched whine, "Fuck," he said with a heavy breath, the sweat already starting to form on both your bodies, his hair sticking to his forehead.

"You—" you cut yourself off with a gasp, "you feel so good," you groaned, tugging harder on his hair.

"Yeah?" He whispered, his exact wish from earlier tonight was actually coming true.

Opening your eyes, you were met with his, gazing at you.

"Hi," you breathed, smiling softly at him.

Kirk slowed down, "Hey," he grinned, leaning down to kiss you once more, his movements coming to a halt.

His lips lingered on yours for a while before he finally pulled back again.

Moving his hand between your bodies, he began rubbing little circles on your clit again before resuming his thrusts. The feeling of his hand along with the movements in his hips caused you to clench around him, squeezing your thighs around his waist.

Kirk weakened at the feeling, his head dropping to your shoulder as his thrusts became sloppy.

"I'm getting close," he whispered next to your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

"Me too," you admitted, running your hands through his hair.

You could feel his burning hot, bare skin sliding against yours. Suddenly your breaths got quicker, your heart rate increased and the coil in your stomach tightened.

"Kirk—" you paused,

"I'm gonna cum," Kirk moaned before you could finish your sentence.

His hips stuttered and he tensed up, finally letting go and relaxing on top of you.

Your back arched as you felt him fill the condom in you, "Kirk please go just a little more," you begged.

He lifted his head to look at you with worry, like he felt he wouldn't be able to do much for you.

Yet he still tried to move, the sensitivity taking over all his senses making a moan escape his throat. His body was quivering along with his movements, "I'm almost there," you said before he released a sigh, continuing his movements. His hand grabbed one of yours, interlocking your fingers and holding it next to your head, squeezing tightly,

"Come on, baby," He groaned, closing his eyes like he was getting dizzy.

Finally you came, your back arching as you clenched around him once again.

Kirk slowed down and finally stopped, "Thank you..." you sighed softly. "Sorry if it was too much."

"That's okay," he smiled up at you, blowing a stray hair from his face, "I told you I'd do anything for you, just say the word. Remember?" he chuckled.

He pulled out slowly before taking off the condom and disposing of it.

Lying next to you, he put his arms around your waist and kissed your cheek, causing you to giggle.

"I love you." He lifted himself to look down at you.

"I love you too, Hammett." you smirked jokingly.

He laughed and plopped back down next to you.

"I can't believe we just had actual sex." He said while staring at the ceiling.

"It sounds odd when you say it like that..." you said as you turned to him, looking at his beautiful profile again.

"Like... I just put my penis inside of you—" You smacked his arm, cutting him off.

"Kirk! Shut up!" You laughed.

He turned to look at you, "I want to be your boyfriend."

You blushed, "...And I wanna be your girlfriend..."

He smiled, a light pink showing on his cheeks.

"But seriously, you tell me that now instead of before you," you held up quotation marks, "put your penis inside of me?"

Kirk let out a loud laugh, holding his hands over his face, "Shut the fuck up."

He sighed, "I love you. Again. Sorry, I don't know how many times I'm gonna say that," he chuckled, looking away a little embarrassed.

"Kirk," you grabbed his face and kissed him, "I love you. You're my best friend. I always have and I always will love you, okay?"

He looked at your lips, "Good," he joked, going back in to kiss you.

Suddenly you heard a scream, the both of you sat up, noticing the alien on the screen of your tv.

"I forgot that was on."

———————

thank you for reading 😙😙

[ericsprincess]

baby we don’t need words

nc-17, Kevin Moon/reader, first date, cunnilingus, a tiny bit of dubcon

~~~

Your date talks way too much. 

~~~

A/N: My love and hate letter to Kevin. 

~~~

Shut up. Shut uuuuup. Shut the fuck uuuuuuuuup.

You take a sip from your glass of red wine and inconspicuously check your watch. Sigh. You are only 24 minutes into this date and you already want to bail. You’re this close to dramatically stabbing yourself with a fork, anything that would get you out of this situation. 

It’s not even a bad date per se. Technically, it’s probably the most “perfect” date you’ve ever been on. This guy - Kevin, as he introduced himself, when he asked for your number as you were waiting in the line at Starbucks - obviously put a lot of thought and effort into it. The restaurant is extra nice and fancy, but not an obvious dating spot. The table is perfectly placed with a view on the city. The candles are glimmering, making a beautiful atmosphere, together with the quiet music. Even the food he recommended to you is amazing, the wine he chose is even better. 

And Kevin himself looks stunning, in perfectly fitting black slacks and navy blue shirt, just tight enough to show off his body - tall, lean with the right amount of muscle and nice frame. His hair is done prettily, he smells expensive. Genuinely a stunning piece of man, that would make you straight up salivate, usually. Especially since he looks so sympathetic, he’s friendly and smiling and not at all threatening, like some men use to be when they hit on a woman. 

What’s worse, he made such a good first impression that you invested a lot of effort too. Getting asked out by a guy this hot is not a daily occurrence, not even for you. Your hair and nails are freshly done, your dress is new. Your underwear is matching. 

And it’s all for nothing, you think bitterly. 

Everything is perfect, save for the one fatal flaw - this guy just doesn’t shut up. And not only that. Whatever comes out of his mouth is cringe of the worst caliber and you’re about to break out in hives from it. 

He watches the cringiest shows and finds them funny.

He loves internet memes, but his taste is one of a 10 years old. You force out a laugh when he shows you some. Jesus Christ.

He loves music and plays instruments, but his obsessions with some singer is borderline unhealthy. No, you don’t want to go to the concert with him. 

He looooooves his job, but haaaaaaates his company. “But we are all just slaves of capitalism, aren’t we?”

His political views. Who even discusses politics on a first date? Time and place, dude. 

You try to participate in the conversation to your best abilities, but often you don’t even know how to react. You don’t want to be rude, so you try to find any interest and reply honestly and thoughtfully, despite it wearing your patience down, and it seems it’s working, judging by the bright smile he’s giving you. 

He obviously likes you more and more every minute. 

The worst is that despite all of it, you can clearly tell he’s a harmless, genuinely nice guy with a heart of gold. Someone who is a whole person, with interests, hobbies and opinions. Someone who loves his friends and family and has values he stands by. 

That all makes you feel even more shitty about the whole situation. You don’t want to hurt his feelings,

Plus, he’s really fucking hot. 

You look up at his face from your glass of wine and force a smile. You hope it doesn’t look too fake. Kevin leans forward and takes your hand in his. It’s dry and warm, and it feels really good. 

“What are you thinking about? You seem like you got lost in your thoughts for a minute,” he asks. He rubs your hand a little, and tilts his head in anticipation for your answer. Because, of course, he genuinely gives a fuck about what made you space out. 

He looks really beautiful in the candlelight. 

You down the rest of your wine and put the glass on the table. You decide in a split second. Ah, fuck it. 

“Yeah, I think I just felt something snap in my dress. Like, a zipper or something. I have to go to the bathroom to check it, will you go with me in case I need help? I’m not sure I can reach it,” you smile at him apologetically. 

“Sure, of course, no problem,” he agrees and gets up to follow you to the bathroom.

You open the door to the ladies room and check if it’s empty so that he can come there without hassle, then gesture to him to come inside. You find for you two an empty stall, push him in and lock the door. 

“Where exactly did you feel the zipper snap? Like, in the back? I can check it for you..” he rambles and you can’t take it anymore. You grab him by the shoulders and slam him against the stall wall. 

“There is nothing wrong with my zipper, and you better listen now. I’m at my fucking limit,” you lower your voice.  

“I had to listen to your stupid bullshit for half an hour already, which is 30 minutes too long,” you growl at him. “Do you ever stop and think about what’s coming out of your mouth? Like, think for a second and wonder, Maybe I should not say that?”

He opens his mouth to protest, but you immediately slap your hand over him to stop him. 

“No, no, no. No more talking from you, now you’re gonna listen, get it?” you ask. 

He nods, looking almost nervous, and swallows visibly. His eyes are almost bulging out. He’s definitely surprised and caught off-guard by the change of your demeanor. 

“Now, we are going to make a little deal and I will give you a choice. Either we end this date already and go home. Separately. And we will never speak again. Or, I can give you a second chance, but first you will reflect on whether every dumb thought you have needs to be said out loud and act accordingly,” you lay it down in front of him. You take your hand off his mouth, awaiting his answer. 

“The- the second, please,” he stutters out. He’s all red and embarrassed. 

However, what you can’t see, but definitely can feel, is a boner tenting his slacks. 

“Okay, but just know I’m giving you another chance only because you’re really cute and seem like a nice person,” you frown. “One more thing though. You have to apologize to me for wasting my time with your dumb rambles today.” 

“H-how?” 

“Very simple,” you grab the front of his shirt roughly and flip you both, so that you’re the one leaning on the wall. 

“On your knees,” you command and push on his shoulder, so that he kneels in front of you. 

And he does. He slowly, hesitantly falls on his knees on the ground, looking at your face, as if he weren’t sure if he heard you correctly.

You push up your tight dress and at that moment he snaps out of it and rushes to help you, taking off your panties for you. 

He doesn’t waste a second to kiss up your thighs, nuzzling into them and licking and sucking, leaving little marks on your skin. 

“You’re so beaut- ahhh!” you interrupt him by grabbing his hair. You pull him away from you and look into his eyes. 

“I said no talking,” you frown and push his head to your pussy. At least now he gets the hint and starts licking you, collecting all your wetness on his tongue and savoring your taste. 

You’ve already been so wound up from the adrenaline and also the fact that you’re in a public restroom, you know you’re not gonna last very long, so you close your eyes and enjoy how his tongue flicks quickly over your clit, getting you close at a rapid pace. After a little while, he must be getting tired, but he’s not stopping, only sometimes switching from using his tongue to sucking gently. It makes you feel so warm and everything is wet and you’re already almost there.

Clearly, he’s trying to earn that second date. 

You look down and for a moment just enjoy the sight of Kevin eating pussy eagerly, not saying a word. He looks so pretty like that with hair mussed up, cheeks red, barely breathing as his face is pressed closely to your body. You can see the hints of glimmering wetness on the lower part of his face, obscured by your body.

“See? You can be good for me, maybe you’re worth keeping…” you sigh and he moans in reply, but you let that one slide. Seeing the movement of hand sneaking down to touch his cock, although only over the pants, but clearly rubbing and squeezing with the purpose of getting himself off, you finally come, holding his head at your pussy so he doesn't even think of stopping or slowing down. 

Your orgasm has barely stopped ringing in your ears when you notice him gasping as he comes inside his pants, his face buried in your crotch still. His hips are barely humping the air as he’s rubbing his cock through his orgasm, finally slumping down when he’s finished. 

You smile brightly at him, as he kneels, spent and sweaty and ruined in front of you. There is a stain spreading in front of his dark slacks that will be only barely concealed by the restaurant’s low light.

You grab him by his shirt again and get him to stand, which he does, almost in haze, still not over his own orgasm. You pull him closer and kiss him deeply, so that you can taste yourself in his mouth. 

“So, about that second date….”

[silawastaken]

it’s me again. new Taylor swift album. ssk thoughts?

first, i woke up at 4:30 in the morning to listen to this album the moment it came out. And I WAS going through it thinking about skk when I wasn't bawling my eyes out over certain lyrics that were personal attacks

I do want to take a moment to talk about the actual album itself on its own for a moment just because omfg i love it, and something I really liked with tpd in comparison to more of her recent albums, is the music seems very simple, with a focus on lyricism, which had always been a theme with her music, that the lyrics are more important, but it just. It's so well done here.

Also, there's a very nice mix between the synth pop of midnights, and the more acoustic vibes from folklore and evermore in this album, when i listened to the first song i thought the whole album was going to have that same vibe, and was very pleasantly surprised at the first piano track.

Also a lot of the lyrics are very reminiscent of her earlier albums, thinking speak now and fearless. it feels most obvious with i can do it with a broken heart and who's afraid of little old me- which by the way, based off the title I thought i would HATE whos afraid of little old me, but i actually really like it??? like it's a very 'cringe' phrase, it's made fun of mercilessly, but it works surprisingly well.

The songs all seem to have an earlier album they could tie back to, with the same vibes or styles of lyrics, and it's so nice to listen to while thinking of what it could possibly tie back to.

This definitely isn't my favourite album, i was expecting something different i think, but it's still really good, and there are quite a few really good songs on it. guilty as sin? and clara bow are my personal favourites i think :3

But I would like to direct your attention to the second song on the album, 'The Tortured Poets Department'

I LOVE a title drop in a song, it drives me insane for real, and i actually screamed. But more importantly, in reference to this, it is VERY skk to me, like I listened to it and instantly was thinking of how i was going to reference this song in an au some day.

But imo, this song is 100% Chuuya pov skk and well the autism is working overtime so I will be doing an analysis I'm so sorry this is what I'm using my time for but AUGH brainrot im sorry i have interests

'You left your typewriter at my apartment' - starting off by mentioning that this is what i thought of when considering references, because im a sucker for writer skk, and i thought a really cool thing would be Dazai leaving a typewriter behind when he left for some reason, and then Chuuya picking it up and eventually using it, especially with one of the following lines being 'who uses a typewriter anyway?', something he used to judge Dazai for then becoming something he does himself is just *polite clapping* i love it and I will be giving dazai a typewriter at somepoint

'But you're in self sabotage mode, throwing spikes down on the road' - Dazai is very mentally ill, and likely does self sabotage, ESPECIALLY if it were to be his relationship with Chuuya, his bandages are an allegory for the fact that he doesn't let anyone see below the surface of his personality, and that does go for Chuuya as well. He doesn't allow for that kind of vulnerability and in all likelihood, if he were to end up in a situation where he did need to be vulnerable, he'd self sabotage and try and fuck it up just to get out of that situation. However, there's also the next lines;

'But I've seen this episode and still love the show, who else decodes you?' - which is to say that regardless of the 'episode' dazai would be having in that moment, chuuya would still love him, and can decode him to understand what he is doing, which is a VERY skk thing, being able to decode what the other is thinking when they do things, and their intentions. He would be able to work out what was going on, and be able to work things out.

'And who's gonna hold you like me? And who's going to know you, if not me?' - skk have that insane bond that they don't have with anyone else, they know each other better than anyone else, and they both probably know it, regardless of whether they admit it or not, and (don't attack me im a multishipper) they're genuinely unmatched as a duo, there's not another team with either of them that are stronger than the two of them together. Nobody is going to know them the way that they know each other, it's just impossible given how close they had to be, and the environment they were in. The entire Dazai makes Chuuya feel human and Chuuya makes Dazai feel alive thing. As the post chorus says, nobody will do it the same.

'I scratch your head, you fall asleep, like a tattooed golden retriever' - rare moments of vulnerability my beloved, but my specific picking of this line is Dazai's constant insistence that Chuuya is his dog, while frequently behaving in a way(esp ada dazai) that would be more suited to a golden retriever. There's also something I want to say here about the comparison to a dog, by a person he loves. But it is canon that Dazai at the very least does not like dogs, and in fanon he is frequently portrayed as afraid of them.

Here, this could be translated as it being a metaphor, Dazai being vulnerable like a dog, something he is scared of/hates. He isn't just scared of dogs, he's scared of vulnerability in any form, and comparing him to a dog when he is like that would be to emphasise that point, that he hates them both. This also opens the implication that Chuuya is aware of both of these fears.

But he is like a dog, and being vulnerable, and in that moment, he would be exactly what he hates most, his is everything he hates. And Chuuya loves him anyway, despite knowing how much he hates himself. And he makes himself vulnerable around Chuuya, regardless of how much he's scared of it.

'Sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me' - this lyric makes me think of concerns about Dazai leaving again after they reunite at 22, perhaps Chuuya's own concerns of getting too comfortable only for one of their many issues to come and blow everything up in their faces, like how in a earlier lyric the relationship in the song is referred to as a cyclone, the fear is that it gets out of control, even if they know what they're doing, or trying to do.

'But you had told Lucy you'd kys if i ever leave, and i said the same to jack so i felt seen' - oh boy toxic co-dependency time. skk are so co-dependent it's literally insane, their lives often genuinely rest in each others hands, not even mentioning whatever the fuck went on in mersault. From Chuuya relying on Dazai to nullify corruption, to Chuuya being the reason Dazai decided to try living a little in 15, there have been multiple instances in which if it wasn't for the other they would be dead. They trust each other with their lives, and could very easily end up in a state where if one were to leave, the other would make an attempt on their own life (moreso dazai than chuuya, but it really could go either way).

'Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be, cause we're crazy, so tell me, who else is gonna know me?' - Anything else aside, skk are fucking insane. they deserve each other just so they don't bring danger to literally anyone else they interact with. They're insane, especially around/about each other, and again, they're the only ones who fully understand each other. Dazai is the only one left from during stormbringer as well, which is think is important to mention. Dazai was there during sb and the dragons head conflict, both times that Chuuya's friends were killed, if anyone was going to understand how he might have felt after that experience, or what happened, it would be Dazai. They understand each other in ways others would never manage.

'At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger, and put it on the one people put wedding rings on, and that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding' - skk are literally married guys. dating six years, married four years, divorced eight times and broken up 52, but also never stopped dating and are best friends who plan how to kill the other for fun. They're married, but they're also not, but also their souls are tied together in ways not made for the human brain to comprehend. This feels very much like domestic skk fic interactions and i'm 100% here for it.

Anyway, this song is very skk coded and I love it so much, tell me why i spent an hour on this. I don't think this was what you were looking for but... this is what you got. If you want me to go through any other songs like this then i'll do it. I love skk and taylor swift so much i can't even think like im afaifiegbi im pretty sure taylor has a tumblr account so there is like a 0.0000001% she would see this and that has me... panicking but anyway :D i have lots of thoughts all the time and thank you for indulging me with this ask i NEEDED to get this out of my system before i exploded!!!

[wearepansies]

PJO MUSIC AU PART TWO;

I’ve decided to just use this part to explain the band “Ride Or Die” lol

“Ride or Die” is a punk-rock band consisting of Clarisse, Beckendorf, Silena, Connor, and Travis. They started playing during highschool, but didn’t get famous until their sophomore year at college. A year later, they got a record deal at Lyre Records.

CLARISSE;

-The lead singer.

-Like, she might not be the nicest person ever, but her vocals are FIRE

-Was actually taught to sing to classical music, but when she was 13, she discovered Punk-Rock, and she’s never looked back.

-The red bandana is her brand. Even in fancy parties she’ll somehow have it incorporated into her outfit.

- Has several thirst-traps of her and beckendorf circling around social media.

- Her voice is so growly and shouty, but her vibrato makes it to where-UGH she’s so good.

- Shes currently dating a cameraman named Chris.

- Shes known Silena ever since 4th grade, so they’re really tight knit.

-To the point where all their fans think they’re dating lmao.

BECKENDORF;

- He’s basically the main vocalist too?

-Clarisse and him sing background for each other, and they switch who sings songs all the time.

-Basically the Dóberman of the band

-in the way that he looks super intimidating, but he’s actually so sweet and polite.

-Is dating Silena

-Never had voice lessons until he joined the band.

-It was great before but now it’s BETTER.

- He used to post covers on YouTube that are still floating around. He cringes when it comes on his page lmao.

- His Mom actually helped get them out there, since she owns a relatively popular radio station.

- The only person who’s allowed to pick on his band mates are him.

SILENA;

-Shes the lyricist, but she also serves as the guitarist.

-Shes always written songs-ever since 2nd grade.

-Gets most of the flack online out of all the band members, because she’s very feminine so people are always arguing she seems out of place with the rock regime the band have going on.

-She pays no attention.

-Just to spite them she’ll wear the most girly outfit ever with punk accessories.

-Petty is her middle name btw.

-Learned acoustic guitar from her Uncle, then when she got into rock, switched to electric guitar.

-Nicest, sweetest person you’ll ever meet.

-Every fan who visits her loves her immediately.

-Wears lots of different vintage hairstyles(victory rolls, an updo, fluffy starlet hair etc)

CONNOR;

-Everyone is constantly getting him and his brother mixed up all the time.

-Anyways, he’s the drummer.

-He was the most hyperactive kid ever, so to stop him from going to Paris and back every time he turned around, his Dad gave him a junior drum set when he was eight.

-He’s never looked back since.

- Is the comedian of the group.

- Pulls random people from the crowd to do stupid shit during their concerts.

-LIVES for crowd participation.

-Has a weenie dog named Frank and he always jokes that he’s their unofficial mascot.

- Certified t-shirt cannon dealer. Every show.

- Lightens the mood whenever things get depressing.

-Says the most random, out of pocket shit that has nothing to do with anything in the conversation.

-“What if humans had blinkers?”

TRAVIS;

-the keytarist

-He makes all the special effects for their shows.

-He also deals with the merch because he likes making shit.

-Plays all sorts of practical pranks on his band mates, and the audience.

-The fuck boy of the band sort of? He’s known for getting with lots of people because he’s hot with commitment issues.

-Wears the most explicitly dumb shirts ever.

- Can be sweet at times though.

-For example, he’s the one who suggested the band name, because Clarisse, Silena, Connor, and Beckendorf were his “ride or die” people.

-Has a bird named Mr.Parrot

-Even though it’s not a parrot.

-He’s at home though, because Travis would never DARE to make him go on tour with him. Poor baby would be so crowded.

- Animal enthusiast. He loves any and all critters.

-Before he was in a band, wanted to make an animal shelter chain

[bellysoupset]

I LOVE the frenemies vibe of Jonah and Lucas so can we get something with the two of them with Jonah as the caretaker, pretty please?

(I'm bad at prompts so feel free to ignore this part but they could be at an event to which only the two of them were invited from their friend group so Jonah is the only available one to look after Lucas. If you don't want to go the emeto way bc of Jonah's sympathy puking then Lucas could be maybe triggered by something and Jonah could calm him down?)

Anon this is you being bad at prompts? it was awesome! I hope the story lives up to it heheh

-------

There were certain events, that one couldn't just not go. The type of party where not going got you blacklisted to other events and ended up giving you a bad reputation, a reputation that if you had plans to ever be a hospital's director, you wouldn't want.

So Jonah was at the Cancer Research and Prevention Society's ball. Because he was definitely the type of person who should be invited to this, considering he was not yet a full doctor and had never demonstrated any interest in oncology.

Wendy had been annoyed to hell and back when he, out of all the interns had been picked for the gala. Jonah had even attempted to give her the ticket, but had been told by an overly smiley supervisor that unless Wendy suddenly had the surname Banks, she wasn't the one the council had invited.

It was ridiculous.

Jonah tugged on his butterfly tie, looking across the ballroom. There were many people here, a couple of his older teachers, some people he recognized from television, people he had never seen before... Lucas?

"I think you're lost Lucas," Jonah grabbed a champagne flute, moving to stand right next to the man, "the Free Kicks Foundation's ball is in the next Tuesday."

Lucas let out a snort, "funny, because I actually was invited to the FKF's gala and it's next month," he opened a smile, "I get invites for all the cancer charity events in the country."

"You do?" Jonah raised his eyebrows, dropping the antagonistic act, "why? No offense, but you're a history student."

"I'll have you know I'm a double major in political science and history" Lucas rolled his eyes, then completed, "it's because of mom."

Jonah cringed. He had momentarily forgotten.

"Oh."

"Yeah," Lucas swirled his champagne around the glass, "what are you doing here?"

"My surname is Banks," Jonah rolled his eyes, "well, see you around," he moved away from Luke, not waiting for his response.

Networking was easy to him, he had done it most of his life. He could be pleasant, he'd just rather not. Still Jonah found his social battery dying quickly and by the time dinner was served he was already grating his teeth with the unfunny jokes and small talk.

Lucas sat next to him, because of course he did. Except tonight Jonah found that he didn't really want Luke gone, the guy was growing on him... Like a fungus.

Jonah snorted at the thought, then noticed that Lucas wasn't talking with anyone, not even Jon himself. It was odd, Luke was a talkative person.

Dinner arrived just as the main performance started. It was a ballet, of sorts, with the dancers utilizing the long ropes of fabric that were hanging from the ceiling. Jonah raised his eyebrows, impressed.

"This is next level," he said, leaning to thump Lucas' chest. Jonah expected a reaction, but not for it to be Luke groaning and squinting his eyes.

"Atwood?" he frowned. Vaguely Jonah noticed that Lucas' dinner was untouched, "what the fuck is your problem?"

"Nothing," Lucas frowned right back.

Jonah scoffed, turning back around to watch the ballet. It was beautiful, an actual theatrical presentation, with the lights changing according to the song.

He mourned the fact he wasn't here with Wendy, she'd have loved it. Instead he was stuck with Atwood, a known hater of all things musical...

There was a scramble to his left and Jonah looked away from the presentation just in time to see Lucas shoot up, only to promptly stumble over thin air and grab on the nearest waiter to stop himself from falling. Considering Luke's sheer size, all that did was cause the waiter to nearly drop his tray, the empty glasses toppling over each other, as the poor man sank to his knees with Lucas' weight.

"What the fuck?" Jonah hissed, dinner forgotten, getting up too. The people on the tables around them were all looking this pathetic display, as if they were the next performance. On the ground, Lucas had curled up, arms resting on his knees, like a kid who was being scolded, not the grown man he was.

"Are you drunk?" Jon whispered, sharply as he too knelt down. He was ready to strangle Lucas, "really? At the fucking cancer charity-"

"Not-no..." Lucas slurred, a hand reaching in blindly and then he managed to grab Jonah's shirt and tug at it with all his force, which was a lot.

"You're hurting me," Jonah grunted, trying to free himself from Luke's iron grip, "I can't believe you- I'm so sorry," he said to the poor waiter who was just standing up. Jonah grabbed Luke's arm, then looked around to the patrons watching them, "show's over," he said bitterly, forcing his friend up from the ground.

Lucas balance seemed to be gone. He held tightly on Jonah, a hand planting on the table behind him, narrowly missing someone's onion cream. Jonah cringed, he had to get them out of there before an even bigger scene was caused.

"C'mon, idiot," Jonah wrapped an arm around Lucas' waist, "lean on me."

"Not drunk..." Lucas mumbled as they slowly made their way out of the main hall. Jonah scoffed.

"Yeah, sur-"

"Not drunk," he repeated, "head hurts."

Suddenly Jonah wished Lucas' was drunk.

"Fuck, really?" he whistled out, bracing against a wall to catch his breath. Luke was heavy, getting heavier by the seconds as he needed more and more support, "did it just hit you or did you come to the gala with a migraine already? You seemed fine when we talked earlier!"

Did he?

Lucas grimaced at his tone of voice, leaning his head back against the beautiful wall of Woobrook Estate. Jonah scowled, his friend was waxy pale and breathing measuredly through the pain, sweat starting to collect at his temple, lips turned down.

"No, it was just-" he swallowed thickly, then stopped talking.

"Just what?" Jonah pressed, catching his breath.

"Just colorful."

"So you had aura before," he concluded, once again holding Lucas and tugging him down the hallway, "and you came to a fucking gala?"

"It would've been fine," Lucas groaned, bracing against the next doorway they came across, "just... The lights."

"You're smarter than this," Jonah scoffed, then eyed Lucas suspiciously as he saw the guy swallow convulsively. "are you gonna throw up?"

"Not now," his voice was almost humorous, "I just need to go home."

"Did you drive here?" his supervisor would be pissed at him for leaving so early on.

"No, I planned to get batshit drunk at the charity gala, so I took an Uber," Lucas deadpanned, causing Jonah to glare at him.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Obviously," his lips turned even more down and he winced, then sniffled. Much to Jonah's absolute horror, he watched as a tear ran down Lucas' eye, his whole face crumpling as more tears followed.

"Shit, Luke, don't cry..."

"I- I... fuck..." Lucas whimpered, crying even harder, pressing the heel of his hand to his eye, "I can't-"

Jonah felt useless and completely out of his element. This wasn't them. Even at their lowest, Lucas didn't sob and Jonah didn't get frantic over him.

"Shit, shit shit- Lean on me," he whispered, jumping into action. Anything to get Lucas to stop crying and scaring the shit out of him.

More sniffles and quiet sobs followed, Luke flinching with each and every sob. Finally they reached outside, the cold air hitting with full force and Lucas let out a sigh.

"I'm not crying..." he said, voice thick as he was pushing it through the knot in his throat, bending in half and planting his hands to his knees, wincing, "it's the migraine..."

Jon wasn't sure if he believed him or not, but even if the tears weren't because he was sad and because of pain... That was still pretty terrifying. He hovered, unsure if he should touch Luke's back or say anything.

"Luke-"

"Go get the car," Lucas bossed, then gagged, "Jon, go."

Understanding why Luke wanted him gone, Jonah rushed away. Not only he had zero interest in vomiting tonight, but he had to get the car.

He rushed back inside, to the front desk and grabbed both their coats and asked Lucas' car was brought around, slipping a bill in order to his own car driven to his apartment building. He could take a taxi back there from Luke's place.

When he made it back to the front garden, Lucas was sitting by the curb. Jonah cautiously avoided even glancing at the previous spot in the grass he had been on, walking ahead and throwing the jacket around his shoulder's.

"The car is here."

Lucas raised his face and Jonah's stomach dropped. He was milk white, yes, but only one side of his face was still contorted with pain, tears running out one eye, this one bloodshot and terrifying "Lucas... Your face-"

"It happens," his voice was gruff as if he had gargled with salt, "it's fine."

"It looks like you're having a stroke."

"Uhm," he was too tired to argue, wincing again, closing both eyes, "I'm not."

Jonah squinted, not liking this one bit, he crouched down before him, "squeeze my hand."

"What...?"

"Squeeze my hand," he repeated, slipping his hand in Lucas' right one, "with all your force."

"Jon... feel sick, my head- Stop..." he slurred, which only caused Jonah to feel more panicked.

"Squeeze my hand or I'll shine my phone's torch in your eye, it's your choice," Jonah said sharply. He felt as Lucas squeezed his hand back, nearly breaking his fingers and Jon winced, pulling it back quickly, "alright, now with the other hand."

"...'m gonna puke."

"Hand."

"I don't... I don't understand-" Lucas groaned, but did grab his hand with the left one, squeezing it tightly. Again, it was strong, "happy now?"

Yes, Jonah sighed in relief. He still wasn't convinced it wasn't a stroke, but this brought him some peace, "Okay, get up. Let's get you home."

Lucas didn't put up a fight with being pulled up, but he also didn't help one bit. Jon panted as he squeezed the man's tuxedo jacket, glaring at the side of his face, "help me out here, Atwood-"

"I'm sorry..." Lucas groaned, before gagging and bending in half. Jonah cursed loudly, turning his face and trying not to gag as he heard Luke heave again and again.

Thankfully he seemed to already be empty, so after some more coughing, all he managed was to spit on the ground and start shaking with the pain.

"...m'sorry," he mumbled, as Jonah steered him towards the car, "sorry-"

"Shut up," Jonah forced him inside the passenger side, grabbing the seatbelt and strapping him in, "let me see your eyes."

"I... I got sick on your shoes..."

"No, you didn't," Jonah rolled his eyes, grabbing Lucas' roughly by the chin and using his other hand to force each eye open. Equal sized pupils stared back at him and he sighed in relief.

"Told ya it'ssnot a stroke," Lucas slurred, hanging his head and resting his forehead on Jonah's shoulder, "sorry'bout your night..."

"You should be," Jon scoffed, but he couldn't bring himself to pull back just yet, gingerly resting a hand on Lucas' nape and squeezing, "let's get you home."

[alloveydovey]

Dramas I watched this past month! The month of the rewatch. (Also spoilers!)

Crush (cdrama) 6.5

This had such a strong start and then went downhill bad (like really bad).

Psychology student decides to sort of intern (? at a special education school and meets a blind braille teacher there. There’s also music involved.

Like in most cdramas I’ve watched, everyone behaves like a twelve-year-old, and the conflict starts out of things that an adult should be able to prevent. The main couple drastically changes in the second half, and it’s like you are watching a whole other drama.

Into the Ring (kdrama) (rewatch) 10 ⭐️

My eternal love to Nana in this (and in general. I’m in love with her). Se Ra is probably my favorite FL from all the dramas I’ve watched.

I remember being very skeptical the first time I saw this (because politics, kinda boring?) but it was so worth it.

Park Sung Hoon is also such an excellent companion to all of her craziness. His and Nana's chemistry was one of the best ones. The awkward but somehow very comfortable atmosphere you feel while watching them is next level. Still one of my favorite dramas. 10/10, I adore it.

Doona! (kdrama) 8

I still have mixed feelings about this one. The sort of angst romance was on point. Actors were good, narrative was fast-paced and kept me entertained. Doona is presented as a complex character and so the story even with happy moments, feels very bittersweet. But even with all that, I feel like I'd have to watch it again because there’s something that puts me off but I can’t quite decide what it is exactly.

I also want to know why they had her wearing tiny tank tops and shorts in snowy winter lol…

A Business Proposal (kdrama) (rewatch) 8.5

The first time I watched a business proposal I didn’t really like it. I thought it was way too cliche and absurd and dropped it after the third episode. It was the fourth kdrama I had watched after Crash Landing on You, Hometown Cha Cha Cha, and Twenty-Five Twenty-One so like… it had big shoes to fill in. I came back to it eventually and finished it.

Now after rewatching… I think learned to appreciate a good over-the-top rom-com (they became my favorites lol) and this definetly hits all the boxes. It feels like an instant classic. Also music 10/10.

Usokon (jdrama) 7

If it is marriage contract/fake dating then sign me the fuck up!!! Usokon started strong but at some point (around episode 8/9) I started getting frustrated. We know that there are feelings involved, but nobody is doing anything about it. The ML (even though he absolutely steals the show) doesn’t do anything to move forward, and the FL is too clueless to make a move. And so there’s not enough romance in a drama that is primarily romantic since the main focus is their fake marriage/ relationship. Also, it had such a frustrating ending!!!

My Girlfriend is a Gumiho (kdrama) 7,5 ⭐️

Nothing beats old kdramas, they have such a particular nostalgic vibe that makes you unable to stop watching. My girlfriend is a gumiho was so sooo stupid, childish, and even cringe, but so cute!!! Every time Shin Min Ah and Lee Seung Gi were together on screen I couldn’t stop smiling. I can totally see this one becoming a comfort drama. Another one with soundtrack 10/10.

Daily Dose of Sunshine (kdrama) 9

I read somewhere that this was like a mental health for dummies book, and to be honest, it’s kind of like that, but it works so well! The way they visualized mental disorders was so creative, I was impressed.

All the characters were intriguing enough to keep me going. Everyone had something to offer here. Even the patients from each episode.

Watching this felt deeply sad yet deeply comforting as well. Park Bo Young absolutely kills it (as usual. QUEEN).

Twinkling Watermelon (kdrama) 9.5

This one was pure gold. Time travel to meet the younger version of your parents? Sign me fuck up. The idea of sending Eun Gyeol back in time to try to understand his family and live his youth is such a cool (and emotional af) premise. It had the ideal balance of comedy and emotion. I feel like sixteen episodes weren’t enough. I could have sat there for another twenty episodes watching those teenagers being silly lol.

[raytorosaurus]

Here to ask the hard questions on anon like a coward: How do you feel about Ray being a cryptobro? I love Ray and it honestly scares me a bit

i talked about it a little here but like. idk it's mainly just extremely unsurprising to me lol, he's a 44yo man with a long-running interest in tech that started when the internet was an exciting fairly new innovation that promised global connection and accessibility of information, and then got famous and rich at the same time it blew up and became this. and now he's living in la and listens to tech podcasts for fun like. he is Very out of touch and running in completely different social and online circles from us. he's the quintessential "dude into tech who doesn't know a thing about how it operates" lmaooo he literally has a smarthome system. like idk my reaction is disappointment and an eyeroll, i'm not sure it warrants much more than that. obviously he's not a baby he can and should do his own research and i can sure hope he wises up to the environmental impact and moves on, but like...is he a bad person? no he's just cringe as fuck and dumb lmao

this goes beyond ur question but honestly i think it's worth a reminder that everyone in mcr is literally Just Some Guy and while they're clearly socially conscious, none of them are politically progressive in the way most of us probably are - if you expect that from them you're gonna be disappointed and you can find other musicians to be vocal fans of if that's what really matters to you. i love my chem because their music means a lot to me and because i can say with confidence they're genuinely nice and good guys, not because i think they're beacons of activism. acting like they are is a) giving them too much credit and b) doing ourselves a disservice. not to be reductive i do think it's good you care, i do too! i just don't think it's worth being deeply upset or scared over akskdjfjf. they will all disappoint you. recently (like, the past couple of years) i've been seeing ray put on a weird 'unproblematic' pedestal or separated out from the other guys as some kind of long-suffering genius which is uncomfortable for so many reasons lol. but anyway. yeah it's cringe as hell but not like. deeply surprising

[flootweed]

Top 10 BL Shows of 2022

I posted a lil mini review of all of the 2022 BLs I watched this year but I wanted to infodump about my favorites more. I'm counting shows that started airing in 2021 but ended airing in 2022 as 2022 shows (sorry I need to talk about Not Me & Bad Buddy).

First, though, I wanted to highlight some (dis)honorable mentions, aka shows that are objectively mediocre but I love anyway. Love Mechanics has a wild soap opera plot, but YinWar really make you feel for their characters with their incredible acting and chemistry. Also, I'm in love with War sorry he's just too beautiful. Coffee Melody was watched by 7 people and those that did watch it tend to call it boring. I had no idea this show existed until my recent obsession with the actor Benz led me to watching every show he has starred in (speaking of which... Call It What You Want 😨). The main leads had zero sexual chemistry but the romantic chemistry was SO GOOD. Some of the best flirting I've seen in a BL. The side couple was also amazing. The script was great at one moment and mindboggling at another; I actually skipped most of the C plot stuff about the music company. It's not high art but it's cute and sometimes that is enough. Secret Crush On You was a mess but it was my mess okay. Cringe culture is dead and this show is fucking fun. The mere existence of Daisy as a character puts this show leagues ahead of many others in terms of queer rep. More femme queers in BL please !! The writing is... not the best but BillySeng did the best they could with what they were given. I'm glad they have been getting more work.

10: The Eclipse

I am very picky with shows set in high school but this is a high school set BL that acts as an allegory for political protest in Thailand as a whole. Obviously I fucking loved it. I'm honestly surprised its not higher on my list but I felt myself losing interest towards the end of the show. It just didn't stick with me like I thought it would. I still appreciate it what it had to say as a social commentary, though. It was interesting how it showed the different ways in which people cope with their marginalization. First and Kaotung did great in their roles I love them (though I feel bad because I will always prefer First as Yok).

9: My Only 12%

I have always loved Cooheart but Santa really impressed me in this show. The story itself was a bit slow but SantaEarth kept it from being boring because they really sold the relationship with their chemistry. Looking back on the show though it doesn't really feel like a romance but more of Eiw's coming of age story. The ending also had some issues; they decided to turn the show into an anti-smoking psa at the end so thats fun. Some story threads were dropped and some were completely unnecessary (the siblings). Overall, still very good though.

8: Ghost Host Ghost House

This show was tragic and heartwarming. Such a charming story about grief and love and the effect we have on one another. Seenam and her story fucking broke me. Like I was in pieces, tears and snot running down my face. On a lighter note, congrats to Pluem and Kawin for winning the award for best intimate scene of the year (yes better than cutie pie and lita and kp). They had absolutely fantastic chemistry. Also I wasn't mad at the time skip at the end, you could tell how much they had matured in their time apart.

This show was delightful and I loved it but it is lower on the list because there were so many filming issues. Also I got very annoyed with the script sometimes because very important scenes would happen off screen and the we would just be told about it. Most of the problems I had with it were probably due to budget issues which is really unfortunate.

7: To My Star 2

This. Show. I actually wasn't a super big fan of To My Star. I liked it but I wasn't obsessed with it like some people. It was just lacking a little something. And apparently the thing it was lacking was angst because I absolutely loved the second season. The emotions, the drama, the intimacy, the longing. UGH so good. The loneliness was so visceral I cried twice. Everything about it was just so well done and I felt like I finally understand these characters.

6: Bad Buddy

From here on every show is a 10/10.

The love story of the ages. There's really not much more I can say that basically sums it up. Ohm and Nanon are absolute legends. Also, I will always love this show for giving us milklove. This show occupied my every waking moment while it was airing, like it was an issue. I love how we can already see new shows taking influence from Bad Buddy, its what she deserves.

5: Blueming

Oh Blueming. Oh this darling show. Its so pretty and so painful. The mom scene makes me cry every time, it just hits too close to home. Siwon my darling child. Daun was at risk of being a manic pixie dream boy but the ending came in clutch and showed he actually had flaws and complex feelings we love that. The show itself had the same vibes of the queer indie films I would watch as a baby gay back in the day. The back-lit love scene was just gorgeous the way they just flowed back and forth from one another. Such a beautiful physicality.

4: 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

This is not a romance. Yet it has some of the best romantic and sexual chemistry of the year. Between two people who never even allowed themselves to touch each other. LIKE WHAT !!!??!!! This show is a literal masterpiece. The way it is written and shot is breathtaking; it feels like more of a stage play than a tv show. I just had a constant stream of tears for the entirety of the last episode. I still get so mad when people misinterpret this show or get mad that they don't kiss or it doesn't have a "happy" ending. Wang's actor was absolutely phenomenal I can't wait to see what he does in the future. This could honestly be even higher on my list but its not a romance so I don't really classify it as a BL.

3: Semantic Error

Sometimes you watch an autistic person and a person with adhd fall in love and it is one of the best things you've ever seen.

This is the definition of a well crafted show. I noticed this especially on my second watch; the script is just so tight. Well written, well shot, well acted. It was such a moment, like it literally singlehandedly saved the music career of Jaechan and his bandmates. I prefer my shows with a bit more grit, which is why it doesn't get the top slot but it is just so well done that it just had to be in the top 3.

2: Not Me

In contrast, this show is not perfect but has the grit I love. You could tell there were story threads that were dropped in the middle of the show and narrative threads that weren't followed through with. Yet this show is still god tier. I'm sorry but a show about a gang of gay anti-capitalists deserves all of my praise, even if the script is shaky at times.

Yok is my one true love, the light of my life, my favorite character of all time. First was so good as this character but Gun was definitely the standout actor in this series. Gun is an absolute powerhouse and he really showed his chops in Not Me.

I doubt this is the first time gay marriage is brought up in a BL but I feel like Not Me is really a turning point in allowing BL to be more explicitly political and queer. This show literally changed the game.

1: Triage !!!

Its a medical drama, its a time travel sci-fi, its an (almost) tragic romance. What more could you want. I try not to expect much from BLs with high concepts like this but damn this show blew me away. It takes a lot for me to have a strong emotional reaction to a show and yet I violently sobbed at least three separate times while watching this. Never has a show destroyed me so much emotionally. And it pains me every day that more people have not seen this show, though its understandable bc its so hard to watch for international fans (god bless dramacool). I highly HIGHLY recommend everyone try to get their hands on this show.

[crabussy]

brief alter introduction because a lot of them use this account now and again!!

—————

robin- me!! the host. freak of nature, creature, horror/wilderness enjoyer. mentally i’ll about aotearoa for whatever reason. enjoyer of cringe. he/they/it, 16

phoebe- she’s soooo cool. overuses the cat face emojis but we love her. music taste is insane. projects images of cock and balls into my brain because she thinks it’s hilarious. she/her, 19

alastair- nervous wreck, resident academic, adores astronomy but knows next to nothing about it. messiest fucking room ever, thank god dust isn’t a thing in headspace. he is like a wizard to me. he/him, 24

bee- everyone’s mom. would make killer jam if she had access to good fresh fruit.. SUPER good hugs. literally the nicest ever, very concerned about my questionable life choices. she/her, 36

jasper- pretends to be stone cold and mature but in reality he’s kind of a softie. diet consists of cherry flavoured everything (GROSS) and cola (ACCEPTABLE) reminds me of a young crowley in some ways. he/him, 21

circe- local witch. pronounces her own name wrong. deeply appreciative of dark fairycore and fairygrunge, listens almost exclusively to molchat doma and phonk???? swamp enjoyer. very cool. she/her, 17

nat/nathan/natalie: shares names with both my aunt and uncle which is kinda weird!!!! the most pirate ever. very chill but also very unchill when shit hits the fan. she’s very very cool and intimidating and I am sometimes nervous to talk to him. she/he/they, 22

francis- geeky, nervous, extremely lanky and super sweet. she’s very nostalgic about kiwiana stuff (chocolate fish!!!! footrot flats!! waiheke!! L&P!!) and tied to our childhood memories. super fun, has awesome mint green frizzy hair. she/they, 16

claire- absolute hippie /t. tie dye tapestries and stained glass wind chimes and healthy food. she’s awesome, wine aunt of the system, somehow likes salad and kombucha. very nice gal!! she/her, 25

oliver- Normal Guy of all time. the only vaguely unusual thing about him is that he’s ginger. enjoys cooking, sculpting/stop motion, and browsing reddit. very exploratory with his hobbies which I admire (: he/him, 16

katie- shark enthusiast. gave herself sharp teeth just because. completely nuts, sharp as a tack, Observer Of Details. likes bugs too, and really enjoys street food. short LOL HAHHAHAAHA. she/they, 14

chester- I keep calling him max by accident. little bear cub ankle biter, first thing he ever did while fronting was put 10 kilos of hair gel in our hair and make devil horns out of it. evil. where the wild things are enjoyer. he/him, 11

julian- fashion king, makes zebra print look good, loves peacock feather motifs. possibly a satyr?????? or something??????? no clue. he’s very fabulous, reminds me of zulius from centaurworld. he/him, 27

silas- aspiring botanist, somehow both eccentric and super composed simultaneously. loves plants, finds them fascinating, approaches life with logic and strategy which doesn’t always work but hey. he/him, 40

jon- former head archivist of the magnus institute etc etc. gets up in the middle of the night to shuffle around, talk to my cat, and be paranoid. love him. he has long greying hair and a great fashion sense. very knowledgeable!! tired. he/they, 29

martin- polite but also a bitch. he’s allowed honestly. lover of pecan pie, and most pastries. stronk…. big…… Holder Of The Jon… enjoys travelling and occasional company. fluffy strawberry blond hair and thick dark eyebrows. has custody over our only turtleneck jumper. he/him, 31

zoe- like a mini phoebe (don’t tell her I said that /j). likes tennis and racing games, listens to music that sounds like you’re being put in a blender. enjoys neon highlighter-like colours and being a Menace. she/her, 13

caleb- super funny and creative. very neurodivergent, really likes dragons and other mythology. likes drawing and making up stories, very chatty. he/him, 10

sun- oh so cheerful!! so much fun, mischievous at times, super good with kids!!! resident robot. loves to wear clashing patterns and colours, sticks his tongue out when he thinks, a bit clumsy but also very agile. sweet tooth, loves shiny things and crafts. he/they/she/sol, ageless

moon- super graceful. calm and collected, great sense of humour where you can never tell if they’re joking or not, loves silky clothes and shiny accessories. capable of lulling anyone to sleep except itself </3 loves figure skating and deep sea life. other resident robot!! great singing voice… they/he/it, ageless

selene- bubbly and intense!! life of the party, wearer of the pinkest clothes ever, fashion icon, very passionate about womens rights and queer struggles. so much blonde hair. she’s like if a bimbo was a woman in STEM. love her. she/her, 23

aries- kind of an asshole, getting better, strong opinions about the way the system functions. they’ve decided they have curling ram horns and love the colour purple-red. good music taste, dresses like they’re from genshin impact. they/them, 18

xavier- cool boy swag, formerly known as crowe, super laid back and doesn’t talk much. wants a pet raven so bad, doesn’t listen to music much, wants to create music tho. Ive never seen him wear colour ever. he/him, 18

that’s everyone for now!! some of them have their own blogs accessible via @menagerie-crew

tl;dr: there are FRUITS IN MY BRAIN AND THEYRE COAXING ME INTO DOING DUMB SHIT. I LOVE THEM ALL

[birthisacurse-and]

Something mildly random, but it really bothers me how online politics has warped our discussion and understanding of many political and social issues. On one hand, it is a net positive that the American media and most of Gen Z and Millenials in the US seem to believe and espouse left-leaning talking points, but on the other, they do so on such a superficial level that it had rendered us so, completely unequipped to justly address counter-arguments.

Everything is so superficially understood by these people. Like, the tweet I just read that said, "the rich don't play by the same rule as us. they don't go to jail." I understand the need to water down the very broad concept of wealth inequality translating into carceral injustice, but the concise version has been repeated and taught so, so often that now, many of us truly don't understand what it means, and so, we can't counter when someone is like, "that's stupid because rich people do go to jail. No one is above the law. It's up to if you're guilty or not." Like the real statement should be, "when someone gets charged with a crime, they are significantly less likely to lose their case if they can pay for an expensive legal team than if they have a public defender, because of how police investigations/manipulation, bias in the courtroom, and the whole process of discovery and argumentation works in court." But that is too long, and it cannot be efficiently taught or spread on social media or online forums if it isn't cut down. Which is okay, it makes sense and is necessary, but it necessitates people who learn the shortened version eventually going, "please elaborate" or "I wanna learn more". Once they are hooked and introduced, they should then learn the long version, to truly understand. But they don't. We don't. And now, so many of us that hold leftist views, unless we specifically devote our studies or careers to political, sociological, or anthropological research, go around trying to convince others that these are truths, and we have no fucking arguments when someone is like "well actually-". And it's a disservice to us, and to the oppressed people leftists supposedly try to protect or seek justice for.

The right teaches its teenagers and young adults and fucking children, here's the foundation for why you should believe this. Here are all the processes that have led to the current reality. The alt-right online doesn't just go "whites are getting replaced", the alt-right online is like, "here are the 'scientific studies' that prove mongrel DNA (or whatever its called), and here are the statistics of how the US's demographics are changing, and here are full-fledged theories and philosophies that explain and provide context for the supposition of white supremacy, and here are videos of POC being bad or cringe or violent or dangerous. Finally, here is the conclusion: whites are being replaced, so we must fight to stop it." Like, that's how the very pipeline works. The pipeline is structured in such a manner that methodically equips future right-wingers with the rhetorical tools they need to eventually continue spreading their rhetoric. They aren't drawn in with the concise version and then pushed to learn; they are taught the whole story, and then given the one-liner.

Anyways, this makes it so a lot of the things leftists say, to the politically unequipped, seem totally out there and strange and crazy. They seem unsubstantiated. We make bold claims, but we don't ease people into them. Today in class, I said, "the problem with Rosalia is that, by singing with and using Latin music genres, she is taking the place of another potential Latin artist." To me, as someone who studied politics for 3 years, I thought all the underlying truths went unsaid. I thought I didn't need to elaborate. To me, I understand how race and culture are these tenuous, hypothetical spaces. I understand that, under capitalism, industries that require mass approval such as music, are always competitions, even if they don't seem like it. Under this system, there is a very fine limit on the amount of attention one can amass, and popularity is a scarce currency, not infinite. This means that, when one artist fades out of the periphery of an audiencemember, another artist will replace them. But there is a finite amount of attention each audiencemember can give, and there is a finite number of audiencemembers. When you bring race into the mix, and consider that Rosalia, by being born in a first-world, European country, and by having an amount of wealth that might not have made her family rich in Spain, but would have made her rich in most of Latin America, you realize that she always had a step up. She can approximate the Latin aesthetic, because she is tan and speaks Spanish and has the same hair and facial features that Spaniards passed on to Latinos centuries ago. But she will always be a misrepresentation of a culture she did not entrench herself in from birth, and someone whose very distance from that culture allowed her the success she currently enjoys, that many prospective Latin artists will never come close to. SO, when I said that in class, I said with all this background knowledge, with the assumption that everyone else in class would, too. And then I had the nerve to be confused and annoyed when someone responded, "I don't think Rosalia is taking the place of a potential Latin artist. I don't think if she wasn't a singer, a Latin artist would have taken her place." But I'm an idiot, because of course my classmates understood my statement as me literally saying, if Rosalia was taking outta the equation, fucking Maria Hernandez from Honduras would have been the Rosalia of our time, winning all the awards and amassing all the wealth. But that's not what I meant. That's never what we really mean, when we try to pass on these statements, these one-liners, these aesthetic little epiphanies fit for an Instagram infographic or a college Spanish class. But this is what we give, it is what people take away, and anyone in my class who went away with, "Rosalia is taking the place of another, actual Latin artist", without already knowing all the nuance and context I just explained... well, I did a disservice to them by not really teaching.

The left does not teach, nowadays. We may in classrooms in very prestigious colleges. But that's about it. In our social, daily lives, we do not teach our followers or coworkers or family members. We repeat. We parrot. Or, even if we ourselves understand, we still only give others lines to parrot. The right is the teacher. For the right wing in America today, Prager U is the norm. It is the universal strategy. And that's why they're winning.

[ramarlpso]

Butthead Music Lore Part 5

As a consequence of Pattuel's wish on the Super Bubsy Balls, yet another Shadow Bubsy is born, this one being Super Shadow Bubsy. Super Shadow Bubsy would go throughout the 16 universes, beginning to kill off the Supreme Pizzas and Gods of Erections and stuff, and he would get through 4 universes until he entered the 7th universe where Butthead Music n all dem are at. So instantly, Butthead Music senses this guy out and she's like damn that can't be good, so she teleports over there n shit and she goes up to Super Shadow Bubsy and she gives her some speech about the consequences of the wishes of mortals and she's like yeah cool whatever and then transforms into the Divine Tsufurujin Goddess form which is a new evolution of STG that she got offscreen which is basically just a pink haired version of the form and it's stronger n shit. So Butthead Music in this new form attacks Super Shadow Bubsy and just absolutely beats the shit out of him, he tries to counterattack but he's far too slow to even get near Butthead Music so basically in a couple more attacks and a massive energy blast, Super Shadow Bubsy is no more. There's one problem though, 4 whole universes have been destroyed, so there's only 12 of them left. Well that's a big problem isn't it? So she goes over to the realm of the Gamers, aka Obama Gaming's realm and she talks to him about it and he was just completely ambivalent to that whole thing, he had no idea it happened. Just imagine that, imagine not knowing that happened, what if universe 7 was the LAST universe chosen to be destroyed, how about that? Huh? Well anyway Obama Gaming tells her about a secret set of Bubsy Balls on Planet Earth on Domo's lookout that were apparently made by Lesbian Piccolo or something. Butthead Music asks who that is and Obama Gaming just laughs and teleports her back to Earth. So she makes a wish on the Black Star Bubsy Balls (AKA the secret set), and the Black Star Bubsy comes out, she asks to restore the universes that Super Shadow Bubsy destroyed, and he does so, so they're back now. Anyway Domo and Left Brain greet Butthead Music and they go get some food because Domo is always hungry. He said so himself once so obviously if he is hungry he would eat, as anyone would. That is kind of how eating works for most people. Not me, I don't usually like eating. It feels weird. Anyways.

After they get out of the Epic Food Rest Of Raunt, they encounter a bunch of aliens landing on the Earth, these guys are the Schimbibblyop aliens and they go out of the ship and greet them all politely and bring them gifts from their own planet which is currently in decline. They seek refuge on Earth now because of the sorry state of their planet. Anyway they give Butthead Music a couple of crystalline guitar picks (however the fuck that works...), they give Domo a Sega 32x, and they give Left Brain the right side of a brain. Unfortunately, Domo eats the right side of that brain. It's not like Left Brain was gonna use it anyway, though. Anyway they all go back to the lookout, then Butthead Music goes back to the planet of the Supreme Pizzas.

Several days would pass and all would seem fine on Earth.

That was, until, the Hornsromp incident.

One of the high ranking Schimbibblyop aliens was known as Hornsromp. He was a powerful warrior back on their planet before it fell into ruin, truly one of the greats. It was true that he wasn't without scars, and he certainly wasn't in prime condition considering how long it had been since he had last fought considering the long ride through the spaceship, but he was still very strong nonetheless. To scale him, he would be about as strong as Kal. Not that it matters his strength anyways. One of the Pink Bow Bandits (which are now different from Pink Bow Pharmacies and are a group comprised of the older members of the organization) was known as Cringe Sonic, and he was the most gay little guy anybody could imagine. That wasn't why he was Cringe though if you thought that. His cringe is unrelated to his gayness. Anyway, Hornsromp and Cringe Sonic eventually came to meet one day by sheer coincidence. Something within Hornsromp snapped that day, and he began to attack Cringe Sonic. Brutally. Hornsromp, being as strong as Kal, and Cringe Sonic being as strong as a prehistoric dinosaur (very very very very very weak in comparison, astronomically weaker than Hornsromp), was easily defeated and then killed. However, seeing as Cringe Sonic was immortal, he just kept springing back to life and being killed. Gilbert, a secret project created by the Schimbibblyop aliens to fix their home planet, reacted extremely negatively to this for obvious reasons. Gilbert then transformed into his Dinosaur mode, putting on a Supreme ski mask and pointing a gun to his own head to be a true Dinosaur, and then he attacked Hornsromp. In one single blow, all signs of life left Hornsromp's body, and he died. Dinosaur Mode Gilbert, in his rage, still continued to attack his dead body until there was nothing left. His anger not yet quelled, he then went on to attack the planet Earth itself despite the protest of his masters. Gilbert shot a bullet into the ground and it went right through the core of the Earth, hitting the core. Five minutes remain until the planet itself explodes. Domo and Left Brain immediately jump into action, Domo absorbing his Sega 32X into himself to become Domo 32X. Domo 32X and Left Brain arrive at the scene and attempt to fight off Dinosaur Mode Gilbert before the planet explodes. Butthead Music senses his immense power, and for once in her life, is afraid of another being's power, not the sense of nervousness she felt in her battle against Clancy or the battle against that one shadow Bubsy (Not Super Shadow Bubsy I mean the original Shadow Bubsy). No, this was not just nervousness, it was true fear for another being's power, and yet Domo and Left Brain are down there fighting fearlessly for the lives of the people inhabiting the Earth. Butthead Music goes to Earth, bringing Schlongathan and Kongathan and Elderly Schlongbert to try and repair the planet as the fight occurs. Instantly, Butthead Music goes into her Divine Tsufurujin Goddess form and attacks Dinosaur Mode Gilbert, joining with Domo and Left Brain in battle. This only serves to make Gilbert angrier, his power raising twofold. This is when Butthead Music has a flashback to something Elderly Schlongbert told her, about some earrings or something. They looked really nice too, but she thought they would probably be too expensive for her. She then remembers what he said about the merging aspect and she exits the fight for a second to get them from Elderly Schlongbert. Schlongbert gives the earrings to her and she tells Left Brain about them while she tasks Domo with holding off Gilbert for a moment. Left Brain says instead of him fusing with Domo, it should be her and Domo, because it would be a stronger fusion. Butthead Music is not exactly sure how a cross-species fusion would function, or even how a cross-gender fusion would work, but she goes with it anyway. Left Brain jumps back into battle and Butthead Music explains to Domo, who initially refuses until he sees how hard Left Brain is getting beaten and he agrees. Butthead Music and Domo 32X then fuse together.

[ithisatanytime]

bladee - * The Fool Intro *

just a couple scattered thoughts. in the past ive talked about the “seinfeld is unfunny” trope which basically posits that people feel seindfeld is unfunny because it was so massively influential that it was copied to the point that any new viewer will find it stale, ive given many reasons why this is untrue, but the simplest one is that seinfeld came out in the fucking nineties, the fact that the trope is named after seinfeld disproves the trope, because we’ve had hundreds of years of influential art before seinfeld so how was that affect not noted sooner? the classics still largely hold up, hell the fucking bible still holds up and its two thousand years old and likely the most influential piece of media ever created. seinfeld just isnt funny, it was tailored to the tastes of new york city midwit jews, and a bunch of pseuds pretend to enjoy it in order to appear cultured, or alternatively stupid people just enjoy it because they laugh when they hear canned laughter regardless of the context, its a bad show. ive been rewatching twin peaks and i still love it, but i gotta say its becoming impossible to ignore what a fucking retard david lynch really is, especially in regards to women, he has the same view of women that adolescent boys do and never consolidated their nature with his world view. still love the show but i say again, its artist not “smartist”. in a similar vein the subnautica series was permanently marred and the sequel literally ruined by the developers political views, there is a “bad ass chick” character named margarette (its actually spelled in a comically retarded way that i refuse to remember) whos dialogue is so fucking cringe inducing it nearly ruins the game. bad ass women characters dont work, its obnoxious in the same way that flamboyantly gay men are, i could point out that her character would be almost as obnoxious if it were a male character, but thats a cowards argument, women are women. what percentage of saturation divers are women? i would wager less than one percent, and id feel very comfortable with that bet. literally less than one percent, in fact i dont know if theres even one or ever has been one. women are fucking women. they also fired the guy who wrote the soundtrack because he shared some luke warm right wing political take on twitter, in a series like subnautica where the bulk of the appeal is exploring the ambient music for the soundtrack is massively important when compared to other games, and the sequel suffers for his absence. also the lack of guns in the game is pretty obnoxious, it would be more understandable if there was no combat, but there is, you awkwardly stab at the wildlife with a knife, and the lack of firearms or some kind of underwater equivalent is pretty glaringly apparent, there are some tools like the displacement cannon and shit that no one ever uses, but the point stands, guns bad! i could go on and on, but the quality of art has taken a tremendous nose dive and even leftist bug men are noticing, with the tribe losing its formerly universal reach with mass media, they have doubled down on the intensity of the propaganda in order to rally their base, formerly they could make something entertaining and have the propaganda in the background but now it must always be in the foreground and thats why everything is so gay.

[taechaos]

No More

from Textbook Love drabble series

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: dark romance, college au

synopsis: Perhaps love isn’t all you need to be with Jungkook. Maybe it's a sign you and him weren't meant to be.

warnings: fluff, daddy kink, public sex, degredation, mild angst

word count: 6.7k

a/n: dedicated to a good old gemini, known as pretzel anon. happy birthday! this was shit! 💞 can someone let me know if i made a stupid mistake i was really high while writing this lol

If every couple goes at their own pace, how does one know if the relationship is rushed or a slow burn? What is considered a date, and how many do you have to go on to stop calling it a date? Maybe there’s a book called Dating for Dummies.

Jungkook has taken you out once: a fast food meal on the curb across your campus. Romance is subjective, so you thought it to be very romantic when he fed you a french fry under the streetlights while you were too stuffed to finish your food. “I paid for it,” he’d said, “so you have to eat it all.”

“I’ll eat anything from your hand,” you’d replied bashfully. He got a bit awkward after that, and you regretted saying it until he began feeding you and even holding your drink to your mouth. It was a successful first date, but you wanted it to last longer; feel your heartbeat out of rhythm with every smile he threw at you until the sun came up. Unfortunately for you, he walked you to your dorm a little after dinner.

Luckily for you, you know that wasn’t your first and last date. You’re going to ask him out for the second one because it’s a beautiful day outside and you’ve studied all morning for your finals to clear up your schedule for Jungkook. A walk in the park sounds nice, then a picnic, maybe he’ll even hold your hand! Is it too soon for another date though? It’s only been less than a day… 

You’re wearing your favorite outfit for the occasion: a pale blue floral dress that has a rectangular collar on the chest—without cleavage, God forbid—and sandal heels to match. You even styled your hair, and hopefully dressing to impress works; you don’t want him to say no. The current issue is finding Jungkook, and you don’t want to be that person, but you’re avoiding calling him in case you bust him with another girl by searching instead. It makes you guilty for having trust issues, but infidelity has its impacts.

Regardless of your internal concerns, you’re happily humming as you skip on the sidewalk, checking every corner for a certain someone. So far no such luck, and if he isn’t in his dorm, and if he doesn’t go off campus on Sundays, where could he be? In someone else’s dorm…?

“Stop,” you scold yourself with a roll of your eyes and continue your hunt. Next location: the back of the building. The front is cleared out, so is the dorm; what’s happening in the most secretive area? “God,” you sigh. Is this how your thinking process has always been? You hope it is.

The beat in your steps has gone missing when you’re rounding the exterior of the building because of your reluctance. You’re contemplating calling him until you see the back of a man with a girl in front of him by the benches, presumably kissing from the smacking noises. You clench your phone in your dress pocket as you watch them, hesitant to find out who the guy is.

“Jun–” Your voice goes quiet when you see the tattoo of a dragon on his shoulder, peeking out from his black loose tank top. It’s not Jungkook’s tattoo. You bite your lip and ignore the relief in your tight muscles; he’s dating you now, that’s what he said. It’s different, so there’s no point in worrying about his loyalty. 

You shake your hands off and walk faster to the taboo spot. There’s no point in worrying, there isn’t, not when he told you he would make it up to you. There’s no reason for your heart to race from expecting the worst when you make the final turn.

A shaky breath leaves you and a small smile follows when you see him smoking with his friends by the back exit. There are four people with him, Taehyung included, who is sharing a cigarette with him. He notices you first because he’s facing you whereas Jungkook is facing the clear forest across. He waves you over with a wide grin, his eyes lighting up.

“I see a pretty girl at 9 o’clock,” Taehyung says and Jungkook turns his head, the rest following his lead. You take tiny strides while approaching them and bite down on a shy smile.

“Hi,” you greet in a small voice. Your eyes immediately lock with Jungkook’s, who looks baffled.

“Hey yourself,” Taehyung greets back. “Care to share?” He holds a burning cigarette out to you with a slight bow, as if offering you a rose.

“She doesn’t smoke,” Jungkook answers for you without looking away. Is he displeased?

“Have you ever tried it?” he persists before inhaling the stick and blowing it in your face. You cough and hold a fist to your mouth, shaking your head. Jungkook slaps the back of his head before taking the cigarette from him and putting it out on the wall he’s leaning against. “You owe me a whole pack now.”

“Care to introduce us?” a guy you don’t know asks curiously. 

“Oh, right–”

Jungkook cuts him off before putting names onto the three strangers’ faces, Namjoon being the one who asked for the introduction, and when he comes to you, he says, “Meet… my girlfriend.”

“Thought you said she was a lousy nerd, Taehyung,” Yoongi comments before chugging from his flask. “Doesn’t look like it to me.” Taehyung chuckles uncomfortably before rubbing the nape of his neck as you tilt your head at him, the glint in your eyes never fading at Jungkook’s words.

“I didn’t get a close look at her before, didn’t know she was a real beauty,” he recovers with a flirt. Another slap on the back of his head. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Seokjin diverts the topic. He appears very nice and seems to be the only one not smoking. His friendly smile puts you at ease and you politely tell him, “The pleasure is all mine.” Good first impression on all of Jungkook’s friends: check.

Your boyfriend ignores the interaction and stares at you until you gaze at him as well. “What are you doing here?” You can’t read his expression.

“I wanted to ask you…” you play with your fingers nervously, “if you wanted to go to the park with me?”

Jungkook quirks a brow as Namjoon and Seokjin wiggle their brows, Taehyung frowns, and Yoongi smirks. Quite brave of you to ask him out in front of his smoker friends, and it’s impressive that you play into such a role of textbook love: only caring about what your crush thinks. When Jungkook peeks to see their reactions, more or less weighing their judgement, he’s satisfied when he realizes none of them give a flying fuck about him being with a girl next door; someone outside of his type of rather than a free escort, really. 

He doesn’t care about what they think when he smiles down at you and says, “Let’s go.” You bounce on your heels when he swings his arm over your shoulder and walks away from the scene. The unsteady heartbeat is back for the same reason as last time, but you’re waiting to request something else.

The park near the university is peaceful with groups of friends hanging out; couples sitting on benches; the sun shining down on the trees and grass as you aim for the ice cream stand. You try to muster up the courage to ask him first, but you’re feeling courageous as you pull away from his arm and instead latch onto his hand and intertwine your fingers. You glance at him with a blush to see his reaction, but he doesn’t look at you and only squeezes your hand nonchalantly. His grip is tighter than yours. Maybe it’s from the heat, but his cheeks are tinted in a light pink shade. 

You stumble on your heels when you stare at him for too long, but you recover from a fall last second. He holds onto you anyway, furrowing his brows at your shoes. “High heels? Are you trying to reach my height?”

“You like them,” you giggle and continue your struts more carefully. When he frowns, you worry, “Do I not look good in them?” 

“Why would I like them if you can’t walk in them? You look pretty in flats too.” 

After a whole afternoon of eating ice cream, blushing at anything nice Jungkook said, listening to his music while sitting under the sun, the evening has come. Throughout the day, you were dreading the end of it because every second with him is so enjoyable. The warmth of his hand when you play with his fingers is a feeling you never want to forget, and you didn’t notice the little smile on his face when you were lying on his chest as he watched you do the most endearing and innocent thing one could think of. 

“So precious,” he’d thought. It makes the argument from yesterday feel all the more terrifying when he remembers how close he had gotten to losing this moment. It’s nothing he’s ever experienced or even seen before; plain jackpot.

You’re off the school grounds as you walk on the streets passing cafés with Jungkook, hands locked and feeling perfect. You wonder if he has ever done this with anyone before, but then he’s never been in a relationship. Who are the people that comment in his Instagram posts then? A question strikes you, and you admire his side profile as you ask, “You don’t like it when people call you– Ah!” Your balance wavers as you stumble again, this time falling on your knees after your ankle bends. With the pain tolerance of a baby’s, your eyes instantly water and you let go of his hand as you hold onto your ankle. It’s sprained.

“Shit, are you okay?” He crouches down and picks you up bridal style before sitting you down on a nearby chair. The café’s lights allow him to see the scrape on your knee and the bump on your ankle. “Hey, hey, don’t cry now,” he rubs your injury soothingly as he cringes at your tears. He doesn’t know how to comfort you as you whimper and sniffle. 

“Damn these heels,” you cry quietly. 

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise at your wording. “This is my second time hearing you swear. Swearing apparently helps with pain though. Say ‘fuck’.”

A chuckle leaves your mouth, but you decide to try it anyway; the throbbing muscle hurts too much. “F-Fuck.”

“Fuck these heels,” he encourages.

“Fuck these fucking heels,” you level. Maybe the theory is correct, because it feels slightly better when he laughs at your rare vulgarity. A minute passes with you trying to keep your tears at bay while he lightly massages your wound.

When he notices you calm down, he asks, “I don’t like it when people call me…?”

You sniffle and rub your eyes before saying a few seconds later, “Daddy.”

He blinks, stares at you, and his heart skips a beat. With your soft pout and red nose, you look so little to him. “... Yes?”

“Huh?”

“Oh,” he smoothly snaps out of his shock, “I don’t have that kink… Um, say it again?”

“Daddy?” 

It sounds different hearing it from you. Without the drawn out whine or the eggplant emoji next to it, and with your voice, it actually sounds cute. “What does that word mean to you?” he shifts the conversation with a subtle blush.

“I don’t know. You call a fatherly figure daddy, right? A man who takes care of you. People say it during sex too. You’re being a daddy right now.”

“Stop,” he warns lowly, “we’re in public.” He stands up from his kneeling position and picks you up in his arms again. “Have you ever called anyone that?” 

You clasp your hands behind his neck as he walks with ease, as if he isn’t carrying anyone in the first place. “No. My dad walked out on my mom when I was little, and I haven’t met anyone who treats me like you do.”

“Wait, you… think of me as your… daddy?” His eyes are wide and he’s gaping at the path in front of him with knitted brows. He looks so intimidating when you scrutinize his features, but you know he’s just flustered. You timidly nod against his shoulders. “Christ. Why?”

Your answer isn’t immediate because you don’t want to come off as too strong, but he’s impatient as he squeezes your waist. “I know you don’t want people to call you that,” you whisper understandingly, “but you’re so mean to others, and you hurt anyone who upsets you.” He rolls his tongue around his cheek uncomfortably. “Whether it be with words or actions. But you’re so sweet to me… You can be really rude, but you care a lot too. You don’t even smoke around me,” you laugh lightheartedly. 

“I mean, you are a baby. You make it difficult to not treat you like one,” he jokes with a hint of truth. You snuggle into his neck with a lopsided grin and your breath fans his tan skin. “I don’t like being an asshole to you, but I’m not exactly a nice person either.”

“You’re carrying me to my dorm,” you point out as a counter.

“I’m only nice to you; somewhat. And… I don’t like being called daddy by horny women, or men for that matter. I’ve never liked it, so I’m not exactly sure why I’m hard right now.” You tense against him. “Something about your sweet, innocent voice calling me daddy is really fucking hot.” He sighs to collect his thoughts; he can’t wait until he’s in your room. It would just be torture. “Did you get on birth control, baby?” He keeps his volume low in case of someone eavesdropping.

“Yes,” you mumble and grow nervous at what he’s thinking.

“Good girl,” he exhales and swiftly enters an empty alley between two restaurants. “Quite the slut too, telling me all this in a crowd.”

“I’m sorry,” you breathe as he presses you against the wall and has you wrapping your legs around his waist. He’s so thoughtful, carrying you even when he’s shaming you so you don’t put pressure on your injured foot. The shadows casting from the walls in the narrow space limits your vision, but you don’t need to see anything when he’s doing all the work by rendering you immobile from the press of his hips.

“Good choice with the dress,” he says while pulling out his belt and releasing the buckle. You hold onto him tightly without the security of his hands. He pushes his jeans down and has you towering over him by adjusting your position from the back of your thighs. Your breathing is quick and shallow from the anxious anticipation of the raw stretch, but he’s so nice to you today: he shoves your panties to the side and rubs your folds to collect your arousal as lube. He’s being thoughtful by relaxing your walls with his fingers first, and you bite down on a moan at the sensation. He’s still taking care of you by silencing you with a bruising kiss. 

“Thank you,” you sigh against his lips. His two knuckles are deep inside you as they curl and scissor. As nice as he is, he’s also very impatient and it’s not long before you feel his tip lightly poking at your entrance. 

“Ideal for a quick fuck.” He flashes a dazzling smile before it falters in order to concentrate on positioning himself. He closes his eyes and bites his lip as he slowly enters you, a lot more gentle considering the setting and knowing how vocal you get. A hum rumbles in his throat as you gasp when he’s halfway inside. When he bottoms out, he waits a few seconds for you to adjust before his rough nature returns. “You gonna stay quiet for me, little girl?”

“I’ll try.” Your heart is pounding in your chest when he leans in your ear, his breath tickling your neck. 

“You know that’s not what I wanna hear,” he whispers. He isn’t going to fuck you until you say what he wants, and your diffidence doesn’t make an appearance when his fingers are digging so hard into your thighs, his breath is hot on your skin, and he’s completely nestled inside you.

You lean into his ear as well, and meekly say, “I’ll try my best, daddy.” You can feel him shiver under your hands and hear him grunt, “God,” before he starts moving. Fast. You’d think he’s in a rush from how his pace picked up so quickly—roughly—but he may have just discovered his new kink. 

There’s no point in being quiet when the slam of his cock is enough noise deep in the alley, and he realizes that before you do. You’re bouncing in his arms, mouth open in a silent scream with only huffs leaving to not expose your doings, until he growls, “Say it again. Again and again.”

The chilly breeze from the night weather doesn’t affect you when he has you flush against him, and heat creeps all over your body not only from his hard and impatient thrusts but also from his words. “Daddy,” you whine, the same drawn out whine that he used to hate hearing; it makes his abs contract and clench now, a groan catching in his throat. He sounds almost animalistic, and your eyes screw back in pleasure. 

“Quiet, you fucking slut,” he reminds with a following moan. 

“I-I’m sorry, daddy,” you whisper in a strained voice. You can’t keep your vocal cords steady when he’s knocking the breath out of you every time he hits your cervix so deliciously. Jungkook’s a total paradox when he’s being so aggressive yet sweet at the same time, but it feels too good for you to complain. Your head is in the clouds when he bites on your shoulder to practice what he preaches: being quiet. 

“Do you love me?” Maybe that’s not the way you should go on about asking to hear his sweet nothings, because he bites you so hard that you feel his teeth break your skin. 

“The fuck kind of question is that?” he snarls. He licks a drop of your blood off of his lips when he faces you, but the bruising pistoning of his cock doesn’t differ; maybe slams into you even harder. “Hm? Answer me, dumb little slut.” He pinches your thigh cruelly, emitting a pained gasp from you.

 “I just want to hear you say it, please daddy,” you mewl. “I love you so much.”

“Keep fucking begging.”

You initially thought Jungkook became more honest and affectionate when you’re being intimate, but it seems that one word brings out a different side to him: wild and sadistic. Perhaps there are two sides of him being a daddy, one not so much of a fatherly figure. Controlling, dominating, and violent. You’ve received too many bruises in one night.

“Please, please, please, pretty please,” you comply in a cry and hug him tighter.

“Missing something,” he tuts with a breathless laugh. “I love you, stupid girl, more than anything.” He stops ramming into you, and the drag of his throbbing length loses its pace but not its strength. “So, so fucking much,” he strains before slamming into you one last time for his release. With him stuck brushing against your sensitive spot and his shaky moan, your lashes flutter and you clench down on him with the intoxicating wave of your orgasm coursing through your trembling figure. You whimper his name as his cum fills you, the warmth coating your walls while you lose your sense of awareness. 

“Stand on one leg,” he breathes. You know he’s referring to your safe foot, so you disentangle your legs from his waist and stand. The only sound aside from the drown out dialogues from the restaurants nearby is your panting. Though he’s just as drained of energy as you are, he adjusts your dress and underwear for you, even fixing your hair before he pulls up his pants and lifts you. “Don’t call me that around others by the way– especially Taehyung.”

“I promise,” you assure with a chuckle.

The next day, a dreadful Monday, is not so bad when you get to link with your boyfriend and other friends by your usual spot on the benches. You don’t have a lot of lectures throughout the day, and you sit next to Jungkook who’s chatting with Taehyung and Yoongi after your long morning lecture in the afternoon. You peck his cheek as a greeting with a lovesick grin, and the former annoyed look on his face vanishes when he sees you. Soyeon and Minnie are close by, and thankfully there’s no tension between anyone. You’re forgiving, but you aren’t going to forget.

“So you two are actually back together, huh?” Taehyung says with a mocking smile. “What goes around comes around, Kookie.”

“Taehyung, you’re not making this any easier on yourself,” Yoongi murmurs.

Jungkook scoffs and rolls his tongue around his cheek—an irritated habit. “Well then Tae, I’m going to be polite and ask you to not be a homewrecker.”

“I have been hanging around Soyeon too much lately…” he jokes with a tilt of his head.

“Don’t turn this on me,” she says with a quirked brow, tone as soft as Jungkook remembers. You sit back and sigh at their bickering. “I didn’t know his name, you have no excuse to be flirting with her.”

“He isn’t–” You can’t get a word in when Jungkook agrees, “She’s fucking right, you know. Stop tailing around me to get a look up at her skirt.”

“I am not–"

“Oh for God’s sake,” Yoongi sighs like you do. Both of you share a guilty look, apologizing on each other’s behalf. It’s only when you start tracing the tattoos on Jungkook’s arm that he finally looks at you.

“You like it?” he asks, a bit smugly. You nod with a tiny smile. His tongue darts out to lick his lips before he pecks yours, and says, “I’ll add your name to the collection. Thinking of inking my knuckles.”

A blush from his kiss, and a bashful smile from his idea graces your face when you cutely pout, “No…” He laughs at your very obviously fake denial and closes in on you, teasing in a whisper, “Yeah? You like that?”

“Look at you two being so adorable,” Taehyung interrupts with a dreamy sigh, “but I want ice cream.” He holds his hands up by his elbows on the oak table and leans his face on them with fluttering eyelashes. “Kookie? Ice cweam? Pwease?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jungkook winces at the disgustingly cutesy face he makes, and you release a humoured breath at the friendlier banter. “Go buy it yourself, moron.”

“I don’t have money and I want her tea on how you two made up,” he flutters his lashes again with his fingers intertwined; begging so silly. “Pretty please.”

“Now I’m definitely not going to leave you alone with her.”

“Baby,” you interject, and his eyes widen at the nickname. “I want ice cream too.”

He flashes a quick glare at Taehyung, easily giving into your needs with a sigh. “You’re paying, fuckface.” He snatches his wallet the moment it’s out of his pocket and walks off while spinning it between his fingertips.

“He stole my fucking wallet,” he frowns without offence. “Oh well. So…” his eyes trail to you with a mischievous glint, “you never smoked before, right?”

You shake your head, a bit curious—albeit amused—as to where he’s going with this. 

“You wanna know something? Jungkook reeeaaally likes smokers,” he stretches his hands for emphasis. It piques your interest, and you raise a brow. “I can teach you. We have to do it fast, before he comes from the store. Okay?”

“Um… okay,” you laugh as he switches seats from across you to Jungkook’s spot. 

He takes out his pack where his lighter is also stuffed as he speaks, “So what I’m gonna do is teach you how to shotgun.”

“You can’t do that with a cigarette,” Yoongi states in boredom, a plain contrast to Taehyung’s hyperactivity. “Don’t listen to him. He’s lying to you.”

“Oh, shut the fuck– okay, sorry, didn’t mean to say that.” He turns to you with glimmering excitement, “It’ll be easier on you if we do it with a shotgun.” You merely shrug because you don’t even know what that means. He sticks a cigarette in his mouth before holding up a hand to his lighter, inhaling until the tip burns. Smoke flies past his lips as he explains, “You inhale from the filter, but don’t inhale too much. You’re going to cough, maybe feel a little lightheaded since it’s your first time, but try to hold it in, okay?” 

Taehyung peeks behind Yoongi before shifting his attention to you. He takes another drag from the cigarette but doesn’t exhale. “Okay,” you say with a nod, sharing his excitement at a new experience that Jungkook could potentially approve of. You can rely on Taehyung’s honesty, though the bad memory from before leaves a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach, but you’re ready to create better memories with him. He flips the stick until the filter is between your lips.

He wraps his lips around the tip and your eyebrows shoot up at the proximity. He holds your face between his large palms, and the cigarette is hidden behind his hands. He leans closer and nods at you, and you take the cue to inhale. You hear Yoongi blow out a deep breath just as you take in a shallow one. The urge to cough strikes you instantly, and you hold it in the best you can; your cheeks puff out as you slightly wheeze, and smoke leaves from both your mouth and nose. That’s when Taehyung pulls back, the intense eye contact gone, and you hear Yoongi scoff and the heavy footsteps of someone else. You cough into your hand when Taehyung slips it out of your mouth and holds it under the table.

“What the fuck?” Jungkook asks incredulously and throws three wrapped popsicles on the bench. You feel slightly dizzy when your small coughing fit ends, and you grow confused as to why your boyfriend is glaring at you with such intensity as his eyes flicker back and forth between you and Taehyung.

“Had to take you up on the homewrecker offer–” Taehyung’s sentence is cut off when Jungkook pulls him up by his collar, hesitates with his fist flying midway, then forcefully pushes him onto the pavement instead. He’s also confused– frantic, and doesn’t know what to do.

You’re semi-conscious of what he’s doing, but consuming nicotine for the first time leaves you feeling quite strange. You feel like you’ll stumble if you try to stand up, and slur if you speak, so you just wait it out.

“What– Why are you just sitting there?” he asks you with violent gestures. “What the fuck?” He holds onto his head, and all of your friends are quiet as they watch him. They must have missed you smoking for the first time. Yoongi waits for him to stop pacing.

“It’s not what you think, Jungkook,” Yoongi calmly tells him. What is he thinking though? “I know it looked–”

“The fuck it did! Right fucking in front of me? How the fuck are you so calm?” he yells. 

“Hm?” you say. He watches you in astonishment: bottom lip jutting out and brows scrunched. If he didn’t see you shamelessly kissing Taehyung out in the open, he would be doubting his own vision because of how unbothered you seem. It bewilders him; why aren’t you reacting at all?

“They weren’t–”

“It took almost one fucking week of dating for you to resort to this?” Taehyung is still on the ground as he sends you a warning glance, Yoongi is unbothered by the ordeal because he’s constantly interrupted, and Jungkook is fuming at you while you just sit there.

“I was just curious,” you relate to the cigarette that is still lit beneath the grass next to Taehyung.

An astounded laugh is his only response as Taehyung smiles at you, but you’re only looking at Jungkook. “And here I thought, like a fucking idiot, that you were the only girl unlike my mother. And you,” he looks at his old friend with menace, “show your face around me, and I won’t hold back again. God, I need to kill someone,” he sighs before storming off. So he doesn’t like cigarettes?

When the fog in your mind begins to clear up, you stand to go after him just as Taehyung blocks your path. “I need to tell him I won’t smoke again,” you try to push him aside, but he doesn’t budge.

He laughs. “It’s not about that. He thinks you and I kissed because I made it look like it.” Just as you’re about to confront him, he clarifies, “Listen, I just want his reaction on this, okay? Don’t you want him to feel how you felt when he kissed your friend?”

“I’m over that.”

“Are you though?” No, you aren’t. “Aren’t you paranoid? All nervous when he’s around other girls? Or even when he’s just not around you?” Your silence prompts him to continue, “You’ll truly forgive him if you take revenge. You know he won’t do it again if he feels the same way you felt.”

“But that’s cruel…” you try to reason.

“And what he did wasn’t?” 

Like the little devil on your shoulder, he enters your mind and reads it for his own agenda. What is his intention? Do what he couldn’t do with his ex? Is he… helping you? What he did was bad, so why aren’t you calling him out for it?

“What do I do?” you dodge his question. He knows the answer anyway.

He smiles with satisfaction. “Let’s talk it over a few cigarettes, hm?”

Back to square one– no, square zero. At square one, you could at least interact with Jungkook, do his homework and have him kiss you when he was satisfied; you don’t have anything to do with him now. Taehyung warned you of this, told you Jungkook would start seeing other people and avoid you unless he wanted to hurt you. How he knows him so well is beyond you, because that’s exactly what happens in the next four days.

You watch him from afar like before, see that scowl on his face that you haven’t seen in a long time after you met. Only two aspects have changed: the eye contact and Taehyung’s lack of presence around him. Jungkook’s eyes are always on you, filled with so much disdain and hatred, even when he’s kissing another girl. Smoking stops you from crying because of how dizzy you get, and Taehyung is always with you – waiting. Both of you are waiting for Jungkook to do something, and it’s a surprise Taehyung still hasn’t been beaten to a pulp for just talking to you.

Maybe it’s a sign that you and him weren’t meant to be. In the span of a short while when you were together, only problems have surfaced. So much misery and anger in a relationship isn’t normal; it’s toxic. But you wait anyway.

“Look at him glaring at you with a girl on his lap,” Taehyung chuckles before lighting up his cigarette. He’s leaning on the wall next to the campus entrance with you.

“Nothing new,” you croak and take a drag from yours, coughing again. It’s déjà vu, if anything. One has to learn from their mistakes to reach success, right? This situation is just one of them for the better of your relationship. Has to be. 

“Worldstar,” he sings with a laugh. “I kind of miss hanging out with him, though; and the rest of my friends.”

“Yeah.” You can’t exactly pay your utmost attention to his words when you’re having a staring contest with Jungkook, who is practically devouring the unidentified girl’s mouth. It doesn’t sting as much as long as he has his eyes on you because you know what it means now: he’s trying to make you jealous. You didn’t know that before, but you didn’t know Jungkook as well as you do now before either. 

“I know what you’re thinking.”

“You somehow always do.”

Your reply humors him. “You want to go up to him, tell him what I did. But you know I’ll stop you.” His eyes squint as his cheeks hollow to inhale the nicotine. It’s a Marlboro Red, not exactly fit for a starter like yourself. You hate that you can’t even stand without using the wall as a leverage, but the effect is a necessary distraction.

 “Why are you… so invested in this?”

He shrugs. “It may not seem like it, but it’s going to help strengthen your bond. It also gives you enough time to stop liking him and fall for me instead, but that’s just a plus.”

“What?” you slur. The cigarette is hanging on for dear life between your fingertips because of how weak you feel.

“We should kiss– for real this time,” he blurts. “He’ll talk to you sooner. God, I really want to kiss you.” He drops his stick before grabbing your face and softly crashing his lips against yours. You don’t close your eyes, you don’t really do much of anything while he does what he wants. It goes on for twenty seconds before he slowly pulls back. “He’ll talk to you tonight,” he exhales. “You’re welcome.” He pecks you again.

You finally close your eyes and your head hangs limply. “You’re the real problem,” you murmur, “you keep tearing us apart. The villain.”

“That kiss was on me,” he admits, “but I’m just making you face reality. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy, right? Only reason I can smoke with you is because Jungkook cares a fuckton about me. I’ll make it up to you as well, when your relationship isn’t a fucking lie.”

Couples go at their own pace, don’t they? Maybe this is how long it’s supposed to take for you to be one with your betrayed boyfriend. This is the real beginning; Taehyung is just the catalyst. 

You see it when Taehyung is gone and Jungkook isn’t kissing back anymore. He isn’t even glaring. He’s just blank.

Perhaps love isn’t all you need to be with Jungkook.

It’s late in the evening and the nicotine still hasn’t worn off. You haven’t moved an inch from your spot and neither has Jungkook from a distance, still on the same curb across. The girl left when she didn’t receive any responses from him for a minute straight. An emotionless “fuck off” was enough for her to angrily storm off.

You have no idea where Taehyung went and you’re sitting on the ground with your knees to your chest and hands on your sides. Jungkook is staring at you from the bench. You just need to wait because he’s going to approach you like his friend told you.

People aren’t in the yard so it’s mostly empty in the open space. The lights from the streets and inside the building you have your back against don’t allow you to see your boyfriend clearly enough. He doesn’t have an issue with making out your features though. That kicked puppy expression on your face is drawing him, but he hasn’t been cruel enough.

It’s been difficult treating you like shit, so he doesn’t bother. It’s pathetic anyway, more pathetic than having smeared lip gloss on his mouth that he hasn’t wiped off. He knows he shouldn’t be so immature – he’s twenty years old. He’s old enough to be able to communicate, but no one’s been making it easy for him.

He has to decide whether he wants to be with you or just end it all before he feels any worse. 

As the saying goes, no pain – no gain.

Jungkook slides down the wall and sits next to you after trudging in your way. It’s silent at first, and he doesn’t return your gaze when you look at him. You wait, and so does he. But he’s more impatient than you are; more hurt. 

“What did you see in him, for God’s sake?” His voice is tired; words merely a sigh. You stay patient. “I mean, right after I opened up to you? Why?”

“I was paranoid,” you croak quietly, as if you’re about to faint, “terrified of you being with someone else. Maybe if you felt what I felt…”

He lightly shakes his head. “No, you didn’t think of that on your own. You didn’t kiss him either.” You lean your head on his shoulder. “You didn’t want to smoke, didn’t want any of this to happen. What are you doing, my love?”

You sigh. “I didn’t do anything. I don’t do anything.” The issue is that you let yourself be manipulated and molded into anything Jungkook likes, but he’s never told you what he likes. “All I know is loving you. That’s it,” you shrug tiredly, “that’s all I do. Everything I do, I do for you.”

“I’ll ask you for one thing– okay, two. Scrub your fucking lips and never talk to that piece of shit again. I’m not friends with good people,” he turns to you, “I don’t want you around them. I’m stuck in a constant cycle of toxicity and you’re the only good fucking thing in my life right now. I don’t want you to smoke or talk with my friends.”

“Then why do you?”

He stammers, “I-I’m used to it, I don’t fucking know. I know how to protect myself, but you’re too… untainted for them. Look at us, we don’t even fucking dress similarly. You and I have nothing in common.” He huffs to himself and looks up to the sky. “If you know what’s good for you–”

“You are good for me,” you interject.

“Don’t fucking lie to yourself,” he scoffs at you, “I’m anything but good for you. Do I give a fuck though? No. I’m selfish, and I don’t want to lose you. But if you–”

“I don’t.”

“Okay.”

Another moment of silence passes. He’s the one to break it again. “I don’t want to have an issue like this ever again. No more infidelity, or whatever the fuck, no more silence. Communication, right?”

“Right. And no more getting involved with your social life.”

“Thank you,” he bows his head and licks his lips with a sigh. “I can’t deal with this again. I don’t want to leave like my dad, whore around like my mom; I just want to have normal fucking relationship problems.” His anxiety translates to his body language: nibbling, knee bouncing, cracking knuckles. He doesn’t like to talk about his family, friends or even you. You’re calmer in comparison. “Tell me… we’ll start over.”

“I’m not resetting my love for you,” you playfully nudge him.

The corner of his mouth curls. “Not like that. Let’s go back to you doing my homework.”

“Really?”

“I missed a fucking assignment today, okay?” he laughs. “I want to forget about all of this sad shit, you ever meeting my friends, Sooyen or whatever, all of it. Just you and me, okay?”

“Set our own pace,” you add with a nod. “No one interfering with our… bullshit.”

“Don’t fucking swear,” he puts a hand over your mouth and pushes your face with a wide grin. You giggle with him. 

Now that Taehyung and Soyeon’s over, there’s nothing left to chance with the involvement of someone else. Trust blooms instead, and it’s not so bad when Jungkook shares a cigarette with you as you take tiny puffs per his instruction. You are safe with him; not dizzy, lightheaded, manipulated, nothing. 

You’re happy, and so is he. Maybe that was the intention, but it means nothing. Taehyung sought vengeance through your relationship, and that’s that. No one can hold Jungkook against you when he’s in the palm of your hands, ready to tell you more than anyone else can offer. 

Jungkook’s love and trust: check.

When he flicks off the ash of his cigarette, you snuggle into him and whisper, “I love you daddy.” His ring glimmers under the moonlight as he pets your hair.

“Love you more, babygirl.”