#and like. first he posted how a guy got banned for refusing to make a gay cake and they pointing out he refused to make it gay

[mx-paint]

.

[fastandcarlos]

Soft Launch : ̗̀➛ Charles LeClerc

summary: follow along to see the journey of charles’ soft launch to reveal your relationship…

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 2,493,172 others

charles_leclerc: another week and another race, looking forward to heading to montreal with the team for another race ✈️

139,058 comments

username1: did you think you could just post those legs and we wouldn’t say anything??

arthur_leclerc: it’s taken you long enough to start dropping some clues 😂

oscarpiastri: @/arthur_leclerc this feels like something a member of the family would know about??

username2: is this a stupid way of telling us you’re in a relationship 🤔

landonorris: I’m not gonna leave you alone until you tell me all about this at the race just so you know

username3: no idea who the person is but I’m already insanely jealous that they got to rest their legs in your lap…

alex_albon: let’s all now guess what charles’ media questions are gonna be about this weekend 🤔

carlossainz55: and here I was thinking that I was the only love in your life 💔

charles_leclerc: @/carlossainz55 please don’t get jealous sweetie 💕

username4: please don’t go all soft launch on us leclerc 😭

username5: wishing it was me getting to fly around the world with you instead!

pierregasly: wait you’ve not just kept this a secret from the world but a secret from me too 😱

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by lewishamilton, georgerussell63 and 2,038,604 others

charles_leclerc: I think these photos are what the cool kids call living my best life ☺️

127,431 comments

username6: I wonder if there’s a certain someone that’s suddenly made him live his best life!?

landonorris: you would never know you’ve never been cool in your life 😉

username7: you need to explain yourself mr leclerc!!!

olliebearman: we get it, you’ve got a girlfriend now, quit bragging 😂

username8: there are so many questions in my mind right now that need answering 😂

carlossainz55: 😊😊😊😊

username9: we should put a ban on soft launches they’re the cruelest things

maxverstappen1: that second photo you were secretly smiling at me across the media pen I’m sure!

charles_leclerc: @/maxverstappen1 whatever helps you sleep at night my friend

username10: you just know he’s absolutely loving the fact he knows he’s winding us all up rn too ☺️

oscarpiastri: as a cool kid, I can assure you that the cool kids have moved on from this phrase now 😝

username11: at least charles has finally realised that he’s not cool anymore 😂 danielricciardo: can’t believe you’ve finally decided to make our

relationship public!!

charles_leclerc: @/danielricciardo I just couldn’t hide my love for you any longer 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by oscarpiastri, arthur_leclerc and 2,473,081 others

charles_leclerc: somewhere new with someone new. life doesn’t get any better than this 🌴🌊

129,573 comments

username12: even from behind they look like such a good match 🥺

carlossainz55: I remember before you got a girlfriend and you used to go on holiday with me 😔

charles_leclerc: @/carlossainz55 forgetting like we’re not going away at the end of the season??

username13: how much longer does he plan on keeping these games up for!?

georgerussell63: I feel like a fan hanging on to find out more about your girlfriend too 😂

iamrebeccad: I want to meet her and tell her lots of embarrassing stories about you!!

username14: I want to hate him for doing this to us but it’s impossible…

pierregasly: I’d argue that life would be better if I was there with you guys too ☺️

username15: notice how there’s three beers, I wonder who else is with them??

lewishamilton: I refuse to believe you rode that bike in those jeans 😂

charles_leclerc: @/lewishamilton fashion first and comfort second 💯

username16: can we all agree if he doesn’t reveal soon we’ll all just unfollow and leave him to post to no one??

arthur_leclerc: not you leaving the family waiting like the fans to actually meet her properly 🙄

username17: have I ever told you charles how damn impatient I am??

alex_albon: nothing like impressing a new girlfriend with a holiday 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 2,493,072 others

charles_leclerc: introducing my beautiful girl to the beautiful sunsets that monaco has to offer 🌅

218,407 comments

username18: ofc charles would make it too dark so we can’t actually see her 😔

danielricciardo: this might be the most aesthetic group of photos I’ve ever seen from you!

charles_leclerc: @/danielricciardo I’ve been getting lessons from the best 🥺

username19: the way they look at each other I don’t need to see anymore to know they’re happy together!

maxverstappen1: you’ve got a girlfriend??? you should’ve mentioned it!

charles_leclerc: @/maxverstappen1 one day I’m gonna block you!

username20: I’m already in love I don’t need to be tormented anymore 😂

oscarpiastri: you gotta gimme some tips charles so I can up my game if these are the sorts of dates you’re organising

username21: im more jealous that she got to go on a boat date with him than anything else!!

lewishamilton: you guys are such a good couple, annoyingly adorable all weekend at the race

carlossainz55: told you a sunset was a good date idea 😉

username22: I hate how most of the drivers know about her now…they’re probably enjoying teasing us too 😭

landonorris: welcome back romantic charles leclerc, we missed you 💞

username23: what spy tricks is he using to be able to take her to races and have absolutely no one realise!?!?

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by maxverstappen1, pierregasly and 2,429,013 others

charles_leclerc: no one else I would rather adventure around the world with than you 🌎✨

189,472 comments

username24: ah we finally got a proper reveal, she’s stunning charles!!

landonorris: nothing like flexing just how strong you are for the gram 💪🏻

charles_leclerc: @/landonorris no problem for these guns 🔥

username25: look at how perfect they are together ✨

carlossainz55: feel like you’ve grown up right before my very eyes 🤧

maxverstappen1: I remember when you used to moan to me about how badly you wanted a girlfriend 😂

username26: the day we’ve waited for so long has arrived, goodbye soft launch era 👋🏻

georgerussell63: I along with all your fans thank you for finally giving us what we want 😂

alex_albon: you’ve become as soft as your launches with these captions of yours

username27: I’m officially obsessed with the two of them together omg

arthur_leclerc: stop gatekeeping your girlfriend and bring her home to all of us too!!

username28: I knew she was gonna be beautiful but this is something else 🥺

oscarpiastri: idk about that, I can take you on some pretty cool adventures too charles 😉

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari and 2,894,162 others

charles_leclerc: feeling beyond lucky to finally bring my girl to her very first podium and deliver a trophy back home with us too 🏆🏎️

249,482 comments

username29: we’re all so happy for you charles, congrats on the win!!

scuderiaferrari: congratulations charles, the whole team is so proud of you ❤️

username30: we finally get to see her in the paddock too this is so exciting 🥳

iamrebeccad: it was so lovely to finally meet her this weekend charles, you’ve got yourself a good one there!

charles_leclerc: @/iamrebeccad I don’t plan on letting her go anytime soon either 🥺

username31: okay can we officially agree that she’s a good luck charm and needs to be there forever!?

carlossainz55: can you leave your celebrations with her for when I’m out of my driver’s room please 🔇

charles_leclerc: @/carlossainz55 stfu we weren’t even doing anything 🙄

username32: that third photo was from when charles found her in the crowd…look at his little smile!

landonorris: thought we’d be nice and give you the win seeing as your girlfriend was there 😝

username33: that was an incredible drive charles, right back in contention for the championship 🎉

maxverstappen1: forgetting the part where ferrari steal your trophy and take it back to base with them 😂

pierregasly: no pressure now but she’s got high standards of you on race weekends!

username34: the way he ran over to her when he got outta the car, I can’t 😭

danielricciardo: huge drive my friend, I would say enjoy the celebrations but it sounds like you already are 🤫

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by arthur_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 2,583,203 others

charles_leclerc: introducing my angel to the family, safe to say she’s definitely got the seal of approval ✅

238,492 comments

username35: ahhh I can’t believe she met the fam, this must be serious!!

arthur_leclerc: we absolutely loved meeting her, you guys are the cutest 🥺

username36: they’re still all smiling so they must’ve loved her ☺️

carlossainz55: you’re family are adorable so ofc she fits right in 😂

username37: how could they not fall in love with her, she’s adorable!?

oscarpiastri: I don’t think she’s quite met all the family yet…has she??

charles_leclerc: @/oscarpiastri you’re not letting this go are you??

username38: finally arthur got exactly what he’s wanted for so long 🥺

username39: I’m so happy that this all went well, I’ve got a good feeling about these two…

landonorris: don’t remember you posting when she got our seal of approval 🤔

charles_leclerc: @/landonorris don’t remember you ever being as important as my family 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, pierregasly and 3,092,174 others

charles_leclerc: seeing as you guys have been thirsting over my girl for so long, I’ll finally give you what you want. a whole post dedicated to my love, isn’t she just perfect!? 💞✨

318,575 comments

username40: she really is perfect, you’ve got yourself a good egg charles!!

danielricciardo: I feel like a proud father seeing these photos 😭

username41: how dare he suggest we’ve been thirsting over her 😂

maxverstappen1: I don’t think it’s just the fans who have been thirsting (@/georgerussell63)

georgerussell63: @/maxverstappen1 no idea what you’re talking about 🤭

username42: charles always knows how to deliver exactly what we want!

pierregasly: thank goodness we don’t have to listen to you moan about being single anymore!!

username43: I don’t think charles could’ve found a more perfect girl if he tried…

carlossainz55: as much as it pains me to say it…you guys are pretty cute ❤️

username44: forever obsessed with these two and forever praying for more content from them too 🙏🏻

iamrebeccad: 10/10 agree that she is in fact perfect!

landonorris: you’d look cuter with me by your side, but I guess she’ll do 😂

username45: we hate you for soft launching but we love you for the fact that you’re just so happy 💕

ynusername: 🥺🥺🥺

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[sandinthemachine]

König x Ghost x Reader Headcanons

Wrote these a week or so ago to help with visualizing some one-shots I'll be doing, but they might take awhile so I'm posting these as a little teaser :) both sfw and nsfw

Part 2

Sfw

Simon and König have a running game where they hide each other’s favorite mugs in weird hard to reach places. Simon was winning until König got pissy and started putting them on top of the cabinets in full view just outside of his reach. Simon broke your only stool trying to get them and still hasn’t lived it down.

Technically you’re in on this game but you haven’t noticed yet because every time one of them hides your mug the other finds it and puts it back where you can reach it (since you now have to get a new stool before you can reach anything on your own, thanks a lot Simon).

Simon usually wakes up first, tending to patrol the house before settling down on the couch with a tea. If you teach him how you like your tea or coffee, he’ll have a hot cup ready for you by the time you come down. König lost that privilege after you dared him to swallow his tea bag and he did it without question, so now he’s banned from the tea stash.

Simon got him back for the tea bag incident without even meaning to when you were all stationed in the U.S. He was in charge of grocery shopping the day you arrived and the only breakfast foods he bought were…beans and American toast. He wasn’t even paying attention to the bread quality.

Simon is now banned from the kitchen every time König makes bread. Apparently his bad energy will taint the dough.

You’re allowed in the kitchen but not allowed to help yet because you always get distracted and over knead the dough. You don’t mind, though. It’s nicer to watch him work. Simon comes and watches too once König is too hyperfocused to notice.

You and König tend to switch off cooking or help each other out while Simon does the dishes. 

Simon isn’t a bad cook, and he’s really good at cooking meat except fish. You refuse to let anyone else touch the fish. He just never adds enough spices and he doesn’t even notice.

You get one day a week where you get to make a dinner as spicy as you want. Simon’s eyes will tear up every time. König used to cry but then he forced himself to eat extra every time to build his tolerance. Now spice day is his favorite day, and he hovers over your shoulder begging you to add extra so he can feel it burn. Simon refuses to kiss him on those days until after he’s brushed his teeth because his mouth still tastes like pain, and not the good kind (for Simon, at least).

You invested in an immense U-shaped couch with plenty of room for all of you guys to lay down while you hang out and watch TV, but in the end it didn’t matter because all three of you cram together on one end most of the time.

The bed is even worse. You picked out a lovely custom mattress and bedframe so all of you could toss and turn and not be woken up by König’s twitching when he falls asleep only for you three to end up literally on top of each other every night anyway.

On nights where you’re in the middle you have no hope of moving once they’re asleep. König has the habit of sleeping on his stomach with an arm and a leg flung over you and touching Simon, while Simon wraps one arm around you and holds König’s arm with the other, trapping you in a prison of limbs.

That’s all well and good as long as you can fall asleep first. If not, well…

Simon’s snores are fit to wake the dead (maybe that’s why they call him Ghost) and König could sleep through a nuclear apocalypse so you’ll just have to sit and listen.

If you do manage to worm your way out and happen to peek in on them before they wake up you’ll always find Simon tucked under König’s chin and wrapped up in his limbs. Simon will never admit it, but he’d pretend to be asleep for hours if it meant getting to stay like this. König knows when Simon is awake but he’ll never tell. He enjoys these mornings just as much.

When you’ve all settled in together, Simon is still very quiet and tends to show his love through acts of service. He’ll clean up your dishes before you can get to them. He’ll notice you guys ran out of something and go out to get more before you even notice. He’ll take you out for a late-night drive when you can’t sleep. He’ll sit and listen intently to König rambling for hours, even trying to ask questions and prompt him to keep going.

Simon doesn’t tend to ask for physical affection and can be a bit grumbly about it at first, but he comes to like being given it. When one of you sits on his lap or rests a head on his shoulder, he’ll wrap an arm or two around you and is the last to let go. When you’re all doing your own thing, he’ll come up with reasons to stand close to one of you or casually touch you as he brushes by.

Once König settles he becomes a veritable chatterbox, always having things to say and stories or jokes to tell. He loves listening to your jokes too, and has the loudest laugh you’ve ever heard, the kind of laugh that will have both of you guffawing along with him.

König also becomes much more direct at asking for physical affection, happy to drape himself all over both of you guys, hug you from behind, rest his head on yours, and all manner of other things.

König also really enjoys finding little gifts to bring home for both of you guys. You and him are big hikers, and you have a shelf dedicated to cool things you’ve found in the woods. Half of it is stuff König has found and brought back for you because he knew you’d like it, and his chest bursts at your grin every time he brings home something new.

König was the first to discover that dear old Simon has a sweet tooth, so he always seeks out new chocolates and candies from each country he is in to bring back for Simon. So far Peruvian dark chocolate is his favorite.

He also sometimes gets Simon obnoxiously printed balaclavas as a joke. Simon shoves them in the back of his drawers but never gets rid of them.

Neither of them wear their masks out in public. It brings more attention to them. However, they both prefer to stay away from big crowds anyway.

König loves it when Simon gives him piggyback rides. He’ll tuck his chin on top of Simon’s head and wrap his long limbs all the way around his shoulders. Simon chuckles at him but you all see how he blushes when König leans around to kiss him on the temple.

König tried to return the favor when Simon was recovering from a leg injury but the stubborn old Brit refused and got carried bridal-style instead.

They’re both happy to carry you if you want, but know that König will take that as an invitation to jump on your back with no warning. The man just doesn’t realize how big he is. If you can’t carry him Simon will catch you and take König himself, grumbling all the way.

Nsfw

König’s dick is longer by far, but Simon’s is thicker.

Simon doesn’t make a lot of noise during sex, and the sounds he makes tend to be grunts and huffs. When he moans loudly you know you’re really doing something right.

Although Simon doesn’t make a lot of noises, he is really good at dirty talk and knowing what to say to get both of you guys going. Sometimes it feels like he talks more during sex than any other time.

König is a lot louder and makes all kinds of sounds, from whines and whimpers to moans and screams. He’s not as good at dirty talk because he tends to lose himself very easily, lapsing into German and quickly becoming unintelligible even in German, just spewing nonsense syllables.

All of you are switches but Simon loves bottoming for König. Play with Simon’s cock while König fucks his ass and you’ll see how loud he can really get.

König likes it rough and messy with plenty of teeth and spit. He’ll leave scratches and love bites all over both of you when you let him.

König’s neck is really sensitive. You’ve gotten him to come untouched with Simon sucking hickeys up the column of his neck while you nibble at the soft spot under his ear.

Simon’s soft spot is along the small of his back between the back of his hip bones. Gently run your nails over it while you suck him off and you’ll make him shake.

König’s hair is longer than Simon’s and he loves it getting pulled.

Simon loves getting his upper back scratched.

Both of them love taking turns going down on you and then making out with each other when they can still taste you on each of their tongues.

They’re both military men with a hell of an endurance. That being said, Simon tends to last really long before he comes and then takes awhile to recover. König comes a lot sooner but bounces back a lot faster. When König is the giver, however, he always makes himself wait until the other comes first.

[byfulcrums]

DC headcanons but you can tell who's my favorite

For some reason Wally cries everytime he eats chicken nuggets with the Titans

Not even Wally knows why this happens

It's only with the original Titans. No one else. They have a rule that says Wally isn't allowed to eat chicken nuggets when he's around them because they all hate to see him cry

Iris sleeptalks. Barry sometimes has full conversations that make no sense with her at four in the morning

Hal has a video that lasts 40 minutes saved on every single piece of technology he has. It's about Iris (who was asleep) and Barry (very much awake, but probably delusional) arguing about whether koalas are evil or not

Tim had a Tumblr blog where he posted photos of Batman and Robin that looked like they were taken from very close angles

Jason follows it. One time he was complaining that his favorite blog hadn't posted anything in years. When Tim asked him to show him what account it was, he panicked, tried to run away, hit his head and passed out from exhaustion

Jason is still confused about that, but no matter how much he insists, Tim refuses to give his secret away

Wally has a deep hatred for Dora the Explorer

The Young Justice once ran away to a different country for a whole month and refused to acknowledge it when they came back

Iris, Barry and Hal are all dating. Barry didn't realize it at first though (Hal didn't either)

Barry was really panicking over the fact that he seemed to be in love with his best friend when he's already married

Hal was really panicking over the fact that he was in love with his best friend who is already married

Iris thought they were all just poly. They had a very long conversation after she realized none of them knew about polyamorous relationships

Wally and Dick, even though they both have their own romantic partners, are soulmates in every universe (can be seen as romantic or platonic)

Wally once got both him and Dick (as Flash and Nightwing) banned from a cafe. Dick wasn't even there

He accidentally knocked a candle and burned the table down

But what actually got them banned was commenting to the very homophobic owner that “I don't have a major opinion on that Nightwing guy besides of the fact that he gives some really good blowjobs” (they never even fucked)

In Wally's defense, he was really unstable at the moment, and he panicked

Of course, people filmed it. And, of course, it went viral. Now all of his friends quote him on that all the time

Technically they're not banned anymore because the cafe's owner changed, but he's still too embarrassed to go so he ignores that

All speedsters are constantly vibrating, some being more obvious than others, due to the fact that being still is... really fucking difficult because of everything being slower for them

Bart's the most noticeable one. If you pay enough attention you'll notice that you can sometimes see a little bit of lightning coming out of his body

The vibrations causes them to do a low rumbling sound that isn't exactly snoring when they're sleeping. What I'm saying is that they purr

Linda was thrilled when she found out

None of the speedsters are aware of this and no one plans on telling them

One time the YJ were talking and Bart interrupted them so Tim turned around to face him and said “Cerra el orto” (shut your mouth in Spanish. The literal translation would be “shut your ass” but that sounds weird in English) in a really high pitched voice. Now the entire team quotes him on that almost everyday

Diana almost dropped a car on Bruce once and now she sometimes says stuff like “I should've let that car kill you” when he's doing something particularly stupid

The rest of the JL quotes it too. It is very common to hear the phrase “I wish Diana had dropped that car” in the Watchtower

Kori once blew up the kitchen because she thought something was climbing on her leg. It was her hair

The original Titans have a monthly meetup. It doesn't matter what kind of beef some of the members have with each other at the moment, they'll still meet. It's an unspoken rule

Hartley was Linda's best man in her and Wally's wedding

That's where him and Dick met

They now share embarassing stories about Wally. They're not really friends and they don't talk, like, at all, but they still send each other videos of Wally falling on his face almost everyday

Depression, just like ADHD, is something that almost all speedsters have, but it's almost unnoticeable because they always hide it, mostly using their superspeed to do it

Green lanterns and speedsters bond over starting to glow at the worst possible moments

Wally absolutely despises the smell of cinnamon

His parents's house smelled like that due to his mom being obssessed with adding cinnamon to every meal they ate, so it reminds him too much of the terrible childhood he had because of them

You can't really blame him for leaving social events when he smells cinnamon

Bruce has a video of Hal starting crying after Barry said “I think giraffes shouldn't be real” that he uses as blackmail sometimes

Barry's actual weakness is puns, he can't stop saying stuff like “I'll be there in a flash” and then winking like he knows something you don't. It's gonna get him in trouble someday

The YJ all have Tumblr accounts

Dick and Donna used to call each other the “Wonder Twins” so now Cassie and Tim are the Wonder Twins of their generation

The og Titans once followed Batman everywhere playing Superman by Eminem because he made Dick upset

Barry looks like he's about to cry all the time and he has no idea why

When the League revealed their identities to each other everyone was confused over why he was crying

It took him a while to convince everyone that that's just what his face looks like

He always looks like he's about to cry so when he's actually going to cry it's pretty obvious. And he hates it

When Wally and Barry first met and Wally started to talk about the Flash, he made a joke about how he always came to help “in a flash”. Now Barry repeats that joke all the time

Wally hates himself for being the reason why the ‘in a flash’ jokes started

When Barry makes a joke and Wally complains, Barry answers with “You were the one that created the joke, Wally. Live with the consequences”

[softbutchthatlovesyou]

First things first: I am not deactivating. Just. Taking a break.

Mututals: You can get my discord if I don't ask for yours before I leave in a couple days. You can also give me a snap though I may be worse at responding to that.

This is my reasons for leaving so no one thinks I do anything crazy, or if anyone has their own gripe they can take this as a sign to take a mental health break of your own.

.

The Racism on this site remains unchecked, and the agression against black user who call it out should absolutely NOT be that high. You adore recreating the racist systems that got us here in the first place. You think your lense on how we experience opression, even the theories we wrote, are better and clearly so much superior.

Exorsexism is disgustingly rampant. We are a jokes to people. We are fakes to other. We are a convenient argument about people passing. We are "dangerous" to a preciously protected set of binaries that do nothing to help any of us.

Lesbophobia across the site has no reason to be so high on a site with so many Lesbians and yet!! We treat labels like they're more important than lives. People act like a personal interpretation of the idenity is an attack. We go "Being a Lesbian is so complex. It's intricate and special" And then when a butch takes t, or a femmes uses he and maybe even gets top surgery, or someones attraction isnt the simply wlw Lesbianism they're told they're doing it wrong and that it's not fair to try and over complicate being a lesbian.

Transandrophobia and Transmisogyny against me and other trans people on this site is out of control. People are infighting and people are lashing out laterally and comparing it 1:1 to the opression the system holds against all of us.

Intersexism continues to be like, so easy for you guys to commit no matter how many voices speak up about how best to be aware of intersex issues.

You guys adore ableism just as you have for years and years. You're obsessed with degrading people who do mental illness or disability "wrong." You see someone stuggling with illness and you don't wait to tell them your personal opinion on their experience. Adding ocd triggering guilt tripping to post. Refusing to hear out people about adding image ids/alt images and how screen readers work.

The Antisemitism I was seeing well before 10/7 was gross. It only increased as people scrambled not to be associated with "the bad jew." People had mutuals and friends for years that abandoned them at the first chance. They spread lies or twisted truths in order to chose Jewish bloggers off the site. I DO notice that when people make post on antisemitism there is often more Jewish people than goy in the notes acknowledging it. I don't think I've seen one without horrid Antisemitism in it's own notes in months. Multiple people have told me to leave my heritage out of pride in their attempts to keep out Jewish people.

Voices from Palstine are only used when they support certain ideas. You all turned supporting people into a fucking witch hunt against profiles on the Internet. You reblog a post of Palastine joy and then reblog an unsourced tweet about something Palstinians have said isn't true, that slanders Jewish people unprompted. For a long time some of you weren't even sharing the right sources for helping them bc you couldn't fact check before sharing?

-

And then there's fucking STAFF. They couldn't stop themselves from banning trans blogs if you paid them. They couldn't keep harassment campaigns at bay if it killed someone.

They used us to coax queer people here for years by sharing that they support queer identities and even at one point let our porn exist here! And then it was all fucking wiped off the map. Now one mass reporting of an untrue claim can get an minorties blog permanently removed.

They say "We need money!" but when people gave it to them this site got w o r se. They use distractions and try and make stuff around the fun shit we came up with to keep us from fussing.

They mute and remove users who make a loud enough point to sway people. They mute and removes uses that are so quiet no one would notice.

Minorties inboxes are a headache.

.

So I'm out. I'll probably be back at some point because I have things I DO enjoy here.

But for mental health I just gotta catch my breath.

This will be my pinned until I get back I guess im case anyone wonders where I went.

I'll have a queue going of a few last minute things i want on my blog but when it runs out thats it for a while until I return.

Thats all

[mickdalena]

okay brief(ish) post about monkees trans hcs because im procrastinating:

DAVY: obviously a trans man no doubt about it ! possible to say he knew really early and hormone blocked his way out of ever growing boobs but personally i like to pretend he just binds and isn't really shirtless all the time . i think he met the guys when he was already transitioning and stealth but ended up coming out after a while anyway . he told peter first and then micky and then mike , and he was most stressed about mike so it took a really long time , but ofc mike loves him no matter what ! davy gets a lot of dysphoria because he is so young and it feels like the T takes forever but they are all so supportive and always try to reaffirm him in little ways, especially peter

MIKE: a girl! forever and always <3 technically genderfluid in my mind and I don't think she's that bothered about pronouns (prefers she/her but whatever) and also she still goes by just mike. i think it took her a REALLY long time to realize and accept she was trans after she learned what it was from davy, and it made her start to lash out because she couldnt wrap her head around it for ages. once shes out she's not fussed about presenting particularly fem most of the time, she keeps her hair (and sideburns) mostly the same, but she does go on estrogen. she wears really long skirts and button ups, she does her hair all nice and micky puts makeup on her sometimes 🥹 she doesn't come out to people outside of the pad for conveniences sake but peter is not very good at switching between pronouns so he accidentally says she or her sometimes, leading to a very elaborate story about a distant cousin peter supposedly speaks of out of the blue. i have so much more to say but that is the gist , oh girlmike how i love you

PETER: honestly anything ! im quite fond of transmasc peter but he's definitely fluid in some way, transmasc or transfem, everything works. peters never really understood gender anyway (autistic) so he easily accepts davy and mike no questions asked , and again he is sometimes such a good ally he gets them in trouble. peter is a pioneer for genderaffirming thrift store finds , he loves to make jewellery for mike after she comes out, and he is the one who made davy's binder! it took a lot of checking and re-checking and it's still much looser than it could be because peter refuses to risk anything but it gets the job done . ough love him

MICKY: another wildcard. personally i think micky is bigender more than fluid (he/she pronouns) but rly he does not care, he's never understood gender either (ADHD) and so he just does what he likes and has a good time. after davy came out to mike micky felt way more safe and confident in trying more gnc clothes and it's why she stopped straightening her hair and got the tablecloth and etc. micky also LOVES makeup and face painting and for a while was trying to make her own products until there was a particularly colourful explosion that got her banned from anything but store-bought. micky switches mike's pronouns about the most because he is literally genderblind and davy finds it very funny whenever he'll change his mind mid-sentence, but it leads to a lot of confusion for everyone else . oh also micky transfem or transmasc both are real and true

[akihatohnoofficial]

r/akihaowners

A place for questions and conversations about owning and caring for your Akiha. For photos and videos, check out r/akihas.

14.7k masters | 19 online | Top 5% ranked by size

Posts sorted by hot

===

Topic: [Adopting] Where to Boy Akihas

u/throwaway5318008 posted 3 hours ago:

Hey guys i'm looking to buy an Akiha, but i'm a college student so i don't have a lot of money right now. how cheap can i get one for?

EDIT: BUY I MEANT BUY. FUCK I CAN'T CHANGE THE TITLE.

u/charzardass replied 2 hours ago:

Fellow boy-Akiha enjoyer detected ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) A man of culture, I see.

If you want one for cheap and don't mind buying used, check your local Facebook marketplace or Craigslist. I've been lucky enough to get several for under $50 ea. Happy hunting!

u/pm-me-akiha-titties replied 3 hours ago:

If you're a college student, the cost of buying an Akiha isn't your biggest concern. You'll need to pay for routine veterinary care, clothing, a cane (many cheap Akihas won't be sold with a cane), enrichment (Akihas don't like being left alone! What are you going to do when you're in classes?), and, of course, food? The Akiha Care Guide provides an estimate of monthly expenses for Akiha raising.

| u/throwaway5318008 (OP) replied 2 hours ago:

| Yeah i live in a dorm but its a single so i dont have roommates. And i was thinking she could just hang out in my apartment while im in class? And i can bring back food from the dining hall. So i dont think she really needs clothes or whatever if shes in my room the whole time.

|| u/knightyknight replied 1 hour ago:

|| yeah OP you can ignore that simp. some people love to spoil and coddle their akihas and then warn eeeeeeveryone how expensive they are. well of course they're expensive if you treat them like people.

|| anyways I have a buddy who's an akiha breeder so I get mine for dirt cheap. you can always try to find a breeder in your area and offer to buy the dams off them once they stop being fertile -- they'll usually sell them for next to nothing to clear up space for the next young dams. ===

Topic: [Advice] How to make less noisy?

u/SmolTaterTot posted 7 hours ago:

Hi folks. I recently bought an Akiha, and I love him to pieces! The only problem is... I don't think I was prepared for how noisy they can be. Mine's always meowing and moaning and whining all day and night. I've read the FAQs, so I tried hitting him when he wakes me up in the middle of the night, but he hasn't stopped. Any advice?

u/himejooooooshi replied 5 hours ago:

UNGRATEFUL [huffy face][huffy face] being whiny and needy is an Akiha's charm point

u/ArrowToTheNiichan replied 7 hours ago:

You done goofed. You clearly aren't giving him enough attention since he's crying all the time, so hitting him (i.e. giving him attention) when he wakes you up is just encouraging the behavior. Go back and RTFM again, specifically the part about behavioral conditioning.

But it's true that Akihas tend to be pretty loud no matter what. Some vets can remove the vocal cords for you if it really bothers you that much, but insurance won't cover it. Good luck.

===

Topic: TIFU by getting a "friendly" pair of akihas

u/sirtwixalot posted 12 hours ago:

I read that akihas need attention and get lonely easily, but they can also be intimidated by unfamiliar akihas, so I decided to buy a pair of akihas from the same breeder so that they could keep each other company.

I got them Friday afternoon, and they spent Saturday and Sunday grooming each other and wrestling together. One of them calls the other "nee-san," and the other calls the first one her "puppy." So they seemed to be getting along really well. I wasn't even having the problems with them refusing to bathe or eat that I hear sometimes happens with akihas. So I thought they seemed like really good companions for each other.

Then on Monday.... I went to work and left them at the house.

When I came back... I think I'd be banned if I described what I saw.

Imagine if a jar of mayo exploded all over a bed.

Sooooooo TIFU.

u/himejooooooshi replied 9 hours ago:

No problem detected... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

u/SmolTaterTot replied 10 hours ago:

DUDE

u/ArrowToTheNiichan replied 11 hours ago:

Does no one actually read the FAQs before they buy one of these things anymore?

u/charzardass replied 11 hours ago:

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

===

Topic: [Advice] How to beat an Akiha in a one-on-one basketball game?

u/Point_Me_@_The_Sky posted 2 hours ago:

[theparapet]

I discovered this blog a while back. I am shocked and disgusted after 6 years of believing this man was among the most disgusting people to have existed in the USA. Turns out this man was a victim of a huge miscarriage of justice. If this gets reported for some "glorifying violence" or "denying a violent event" bullshit rule, then you're a coward. You're a coward who has been made uncomfortable by the truth: that the American justice system is f*cked. Their evidence is based on legal documents released by the California supreme court. This man would have been acquitted if he had better attorneys. This man was brain-damaged and shouldn't have been on death row. Richard Ramirez was framed, first by the police and then by his so-called friends.

Most people are banned for posting about him, but do you know what you can't magic away? The original victim police eyewitness testimonies that described another man. You can't run from documents that show how the California courts refused appeal lawyers access to evidence. What are they hiding? Some evil pieces of sh*t got away with murder while Ramirez went down for it. He played the part of the character, sure. What else could he do?

The latest videos humanize him in a way that I never expected. I've been interested in Ramirez for 6 years and drank all the bullsh*t videos about him online. Interviews where he smirked about killings turned out to be harshly edited. New footage shows a sweet guy, a human with big sad eyes. It matches the gentle guy his friends described. It shows a man that has been broken by the USA's sh*tty legal system and is making the best of it, like it was simple fate.

Read the documents.

[vicbutnotactually]

Listen. If you have anymore info to drop about that caseynardo au. I’m begging bc I’m kind of obsessed already

Sure thing >:]

@toothlesshat

When they are found by the others, they actually hide their real identities. It’s not too hard considering they both wear masks and Leo wears a cloak when out and about. The boys and April have no idea how long it’s been for them, and are looking for two 16 year olds instead of the guys in their mid-40s. The Elder Gays™️ hide their identities because they think that some other versions of them got stuck there recently, and that’s who the others are looking for. They think that this version of their family is not their version if I’m making any sense.

The Elder Gays ™️ would volunteer to help the boys and April find what they think is their Leo and Casey, since they think some other versions of them got trapped there too. As they’re guiding them around looking for two people who aren’t there, they start seeing connection between what Donnie describes as the events before the portal mishaps, and their own experiences. Like, the events line up perfectly for all of them, and Leo and Casey eventually realize what happened.

Eventually someone figures it out and they all collectively realize that they’ve just lost 30 years together. Cue angsty stuff but that’s not what we’re here for >:]

@lucatea ‘s idea of how the boys and April would figure out who they are is that Leo would run off to do something dumb and dangerous and Casey would panic and say Leo’s name, since they very much get anxious when someone runs off on their own in this dangerous world they’re in.

The masks:

Bonus:

Random Tidbits:

- After a few years, Leo did lose the leg that was damaged in his fight with Shredder. He has a prosthetic made of salvaged tech.

- They had a shotgun wedding, in the middle of a fight, Pirates of the Caribbean style >:]

- They worry relentlessly about each other

- They first started falling for each other after about a month or two

- Eventually they became leaders of their own mini tribe of scavengers

- Casey confessed first

- They don’t specifically mention a that they’re married. Mikey is the first to realize it, then April and Donnie, and finally Raph, who is dumbfounded for the longest time, bc I find it funny

- It took them a really long time how to work with the salvaged tech, mostly relying on another scavenger and a scientist they know to make their gear, but later in their lives they could do some stuff with what they find.

- They live in an alien-like jungle biome, but I’m not sure what their house looks tho (so if you have ideas lmk :] )

- Part of their house has been turned into a greenhouse courtesy of Leo

- Casey missed playing Hockey so Leo learned to play to make him feel better

- Puppy Dog Eyes are an efficient way for Casey to get whatever he wants

- Leo has gotten sick several times and Casey REFUSES to leave his side every time

- Neither of them could really cook when they got there, but Casey eventually got really good at it. After 30 years, Leo is still banned from the kitchen.

- They built their house by hand

- They were there for 30 years, married for 19, and together for a total of 25, resulting in the most loving shit-talking

Some worldbuilding for the world they’re in:

It’s a sort of post apocalyptic world with many cities acting as safe havens, either protected by walls or forcefield domes. Inside of these cities, resources are scarce because of the sheer population and limited space. People can live outside of these protected cities but very few do because of the sheer amount of hyper-predatory animals that live there. Naturally, when the boys get dropped into this world, they end up far from any cities. They survive but just barely, hiding up in trees or small caves most of the time. Eventually, they would adapt, and get together with a small clan of people who are also outside the city. This planet has a lot of very different intelligent species, so mutant turtle isn’t weird, but there are very few humans, so Casey is considered strange or new.

The people outside the safe zones, scavenge, hunt, and gather for their food, as well as salvaging ancient tech that can be found all over the place. Most of this tech is used to make weapons or protection systems for their homes to keep the scary stuff away.

The scavengers take the surplus of what the find and take into the cities to trade and sell, but it’s very illegal to do that. Most of the trading happens in a black market but there’s always the risk of getting captured by law enforcement. Leo and Casey often go into the underground of these cities, getting chased by law enforcement and occasionally getting arrested.

The did try living inside of several different cities but found that they were better off on the outside instead, since the competition for resources in them was ferocious, and they had the skills to live in the more dangerous areas. They mainly stick to sneaking in outside resources, and the occasional shopping or date night at a restaurant.

Quotes I bombarded @lucatea with when I discovered the incorrect quote generator:

C: Am I in trouble?

L: Take a guess.

C: No?

L: Take another guess.

-

C: You love me, right, Lee?

L: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

-

L(smuggling outside resources into a city): Are we going too far?

C: No, no, no. We went too far about seven hours ago. Now we're going to prison.

-

L: So that’s my plan.

C: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.

L: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.

C: It fucking sucks.

L: That’s not constructive criticism.

-

C: So what’s for dinner?

L, staring at the food he just burnt: Regret.

-

L, tending to Casey's wounds: How would you rate your pain?

C: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

-

C: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

L: Twelve, actually.

C: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

L: Yours!

C: That's right, no one's.

-

The vibe:

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Getting To Know Them

Pairing: Grumpy!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Reader

A/N: Well, this is a little embarrassing, but I sort of forgot to cross post an installation of the Grumpy Sunshine series. So... this one was a little different, some otp prompts I did while I was taking finals and also writing Two Sides of The Same Coin.

Who is the one who yells to their partner from one room and the other one repeatedly yells 'what' from another?

It's you- you're the one that yells 'what' over and over again. Bucky has super soldier hearing, and depending on what the other person is doing, usually Bucky's the one that just goes to the other room to tell you whatever he needs to tell you. But there are definitely times when he waits to hear your sigh of defeat when you just decide to leave the room you're in to go find out what's going on.

Who shops for groceries?

The two of you do it together. You tend to just aimlessly walk through the store, grabbing things that you feel like with very little rhyme or reason. Bucky, your human impulse control, is the only thing stopping you from buying the entire cereal aisle. And you're the only thing stopping Bucky from exclusively eating take-out with the occasional plum.

Who likes to make the other food?

Bucky's not good at cooking. You try to be nice about it, but his cooking skills were clearly left in the 40's when all food used to be boiled. You've currently banned him from being in the kitchen after a well-intentioned date night dinner almost burned down your kitchen. What can he say, he didn't know that an oil fire couldn't be put out with water.

Who would accidentally set the kitchen on fire while cooking while cooking?

Again, there's a reason you do most of the cooking. Bucky's been banned from the kitchen until further notice and you have no intention of lifting that ban any time soon.

Who eats the other's uneaten pizza crusts?

Bucky. Plain and simple.

How do they handle planes rides together?

You handing Bucky a parachute even though he insists that he doesn't need one. 

How do they express their feelings? 

You're an overly affectionate person, you hang all over people unless they explicitly tell you to stop or that it makes them uncomfortable. Most of the time Bucky's cool with that, because he knows that's how you present yourself to other people. What sets him aside is that you tell him about your past, you allow yourself to have a full range of feelings in front of him.

And Bucky's, he's more the silent acts of service kind of guy. He'll order your favorite food when you don't feel like cooking, or when you're upset and he buys you little knick-knacks that remind him of you. In public, he's pretty cold, he lets you hold his hand and jump all over him, but you have to work at coaxing a smile out of him. In private, he's got no problem demanding that you cuddle with him or shower him in affection.

Who kills the spiders?

You don't let Bucky kill spiders. You don't like them, you don't want them in your house, but you refuse to let him kill them. The first time you told him that, he promptly reminded you that you were living with a former assassin. You were not swayed. Instead, you make him take them outside. He doesn't have the heart to tell you that they'd probably just make their way back inside. 

Who has a hobby only the other one knows about?

Bucky's taken up knitting with you. You're not allowed to tell Sam- or Steve.

Who takes playful pictures of the other while they aren't looking?

Bucky's great at candids, not that anyone would ever know that. His lock screen is a picture of you staring out the window, a picture no one else has ever seen considering he's a real stickler about other people, excluding you, looking at his phone. Since he's upgraded to a smartphone, he's constantly taking picture of you when you're not looking. You've got an inclination to real pictures, you've got a whole wall of Polaroids to prove it, but it's kind of hard to take one without Bucky noticing.

Where do they like to go on 3AM adventures?

Nowhere! Like the real old man he is, Bucky's always saying that nothing good ever happens after midnight, and if he can help it you two won't be out wandering the street at night. If the two of you are up that late, you're watching movies, playing board games and on one occasion building an elaborate fort with all the blankets and pillows you found in the house.

Who would accidentally become a meme?

Is it an accident if Sam posts his memes of Bucky on Twitter himself?

Who worries about what they will look like when they get older?

The two of you are more live in the moment people, but on the occasion that you do think about your future with Bucky, you revel in growing old with him, in the feeling of being your average domestic couple. Bucky's less concerned about what he looks like as he gets older, and more about you suddenly realizing his past is more than what you can tolerate. On a lighter note, Sam's the one that introduced the two of you to skin care. Bucky's definitely caught you and Sam both sitting on the couch with face masks on.

Who hogs the blanket?

Bucky's a tall guy, he can't help it sometimes especially considering you've only got one of those small throw blankets on the couch. You're perfectly content with lying on his chest when he does though. Sam suggested that the two of you just get another blanket, to which Bucky vehemently objected.

Who is more likely to cry over a sad book or movie?

You're the one that usually needs a box of tissues. And though Bucky will deny it for the rest of his life, you've definitely caught him shedding a tear or two at The Notebook.

Who talks smack while playing video games?

Surprisingly, you. The first time you beat Sam in Mario Kart, you stood on the couch, jumping up and down celebrating your victory while Sam grumbled on about how it was just luck. Bucky fell in love with you just a little bit more that day.

Who sings along with the radio?

Again, you, but you haven't missed Bucky mouthing the words and nodding his head to your favorite songs.

What would their song to each other be?

For you, I mean Taylor Swift anyone? Daylight, Lover, New Year's Day, Cornelia Street, Paper Rings...The list could go on and on. 

For Bucky, Say You Won't Let Go, Can't Help Falling in Love, At Last... He thinks the best love songs are the ones that make him want to slow dance with you in the living room, and he does- constantly.

How did they know that they were right for each other?

Since you two got together, Bucky swears that it was love at first sight, loving you from the very moment you put that flower in his hand, but you're convinced that he hated, or at the very least strongly disliked, you for a long time. For you, you were sure that he was it for you when he accidentally blurted that he loved you for the first time in the middle of yelling at you for being reckless on a mission. 

Who proposes?

We'll find out soon. *wink wink*

AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Grumpy Sunshine Series Masterlist

A/N: Like I said, you can tell this was very early on in the series, but I don't gatekeep. So... the long lost installation, that wasn't lost at all. (and if you have any other prompts I'd love to hear them) Thanks for reading! 💛

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated 💛

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez @ludicbouquetfromearth @matchat3a @famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff @valoraxx  @blue786sworld @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @geminigengar @ansaturn @ecolle @lexhalstead3 @ybflkmj @mediocre-daydreams @shanye1112 @thegirlnextdoorssister @toomanyfanficsbruh @moonlightreader649 @breathtaking-cynthia @mirikusashes @beans-and-toast @niyahcoca @katiechikin @elxvrr @antiheroxsblog @infamouslyclumsy @krissydclayton93 

[the-bjd-community-confess]

re:Twitter implosion for those asking (since I don't have a Tumblr and cannot respond to it) in short:El0n Musk (Telsa, SpaceX owner) recently bought the overwhelming majority of Twitter's shares, putting him in charge. Beyond him showing his whole ass, within the first 30 days or so of owning Twitter he fired the entire security team because he felt like it. In fact, 9/10 of his actions have been "he felt like it" and 1/10 of his actions have been "oh, people are laughing at me, I'll try to walk that back". 

Losing security team is extremely bad. Twitter's app could put your phone at risk as soon as there's a break in and no one will know because there's no security team. So many of us removed it from our phones. Which is the common way many people post. Then many of us on watching how Musk is treating the Twitter employees, have more conscientiously stopped using it. Either in protest or disgust or both. Many of the operating employees have left shortly afterwards.  In a week my feed went from very busy to angry to all the English speakers refusing to use it and then a few days later all the Japanese and Korean speakers also refusing to use it as news spread. People are moving to other places (Discord, Mastodon, Cohost, back to Tumblr or social media popular in their home countries). The only posters still "active" are companies (and many of them shut off their Twitter connections too!). 

Part of what I really liked about Twitter was due to it being so established and GLOBAL, it had Google Translate built into the app, so I could communicate (if a bit awkwardly) with people around the world. Other BJD owners, people who customize dolls, seamstresses. Just lots of cool people around the world all sharing their hobbies (and without the "ew, I had to talk to X-nationality" that comes up on the confessions here). Sadly most did not post where they were going to OR it got removed/banned when Musk banned talk of other social media sites.So there's the as short as I can make it. A platform that let me talk to so many people and share absolutely obliterated by a rich guy's ego. Keep on laughing at him because it's the only thing that seems to actually hurt him. 

~Anonymous

Mod: There's also a slight BJD connection with musty, one of his many partners and mothers of his children, Grimes, used a custom P0povy doll in some of her album artwork.

[joysona]

OKAY niche post: kpop boy group tomorrow x together as a killjoy gang

Soobin

Obviously soobin’s the babysitter

Killjoy name: sth goofy like Fanboy Steve or Blonde Bombshell he doesn’t take himself seriously enough to think of sth too cool

Gang medic

Constantly getting the gang out of trouble

Signature colors: blue, white, orange. Keeps his hair blonde.

Yeonjun

Resident fairy godmother and motor baby

Killjoy name: sth he thinks sounds cool as hell but actually sounds super cheesy, sth like Puma Dan or Cowabunga Kitty

Designated driver

Has cheated death way too many times due to provoking dracs a little too much

Signature colors: neon pink, sky blue, and black (very specific abt the shades he uses). Usually keeps his hair pink but he alternates

Beomgyu

CRASH QUEEN!!!!

Killjoy name: something cutesy probably, like Asteroid Bear or Benny Glitter

Hosts a radio show

Shoots acoustic

Color scheme: red, white, and pink. Keeps his hair natural brown most of the time but switches it up every once in a while

Taehyun

Batt rat, ex tumbleweed

Killjoy name: either something really cute like Terry Twinkle or sth rlly random like Tiger Lunch

Gangs resident smithy

Knows slight of hand so when he first came to the zones he’d just survive off pickpocketing and shit

Color scheme: pink, purple, orange. Keeps his hair pink

Kai

Batt rat (2), was snatched up by soobin literally an hour after he left the city

Killjoy mame: DEFINITELY sth super cutesy. I’m thinkin Desert Penguin or like Satellite Sunshine

Paper boy for Beomgyu’s show

String kinggggg

Color scheme: blue, green, yellow. Usually has his hair blue or blonde

Other thoughts

I don’t think they’d be called tomorrow x together fjfnnf their gang would probably have like a celestial name, like Meteor Bros or Planet Posse (they know their name is dumb but its camp and they couldn’t think of anything better)

They’re based out of zone 3 and operate a lighthouse out there

Beomgyu absolutely REFUSES to eat power pup and relies almost solely on the witches garden and batt food. Don’t ask him how he is able to manage that, you probably won’t like the answer.

Soobin is banned from tommy’s. No one (not even soobin) knows why, but every time the guys stop by, soobin has to wait in the car

Taehyun really really wants to get a motorcycle, but every time he brings it up the other 4 boys scream at him for 40 mins straight abt how he’d probably die if he tried driving one and they cant afford to lose their smithy with how often yeonjun gets them into firefights

Yeonjun does sun skin more often than not and often makes their raids go south bc they left late due to yeonjun taking too long to put his glitter on

Kai is like king of casual joy parties. Loves to throw bonfires and picnics, scours the zones and outer city for glow sticks and shit to hand out to everyone who comes. He always has extra blankets around for people to sit on.

One of their closest allies is an absolutely massive gang from zone 2 made up entirely of lesbians. Theres like 30 of them, so whenever they need backup, their opponent just gets entirely fuckin swarmed by sapphics with guns

Ok thats all i got for now lol i might draw them/add more shit later i am literally writing this at 1 am

[whumpster-fire]

A Curated Selection of Tweets from Dread Lord K'thyzyxathrax The Soul Flayer's account @KthyzyxathraXXX

Dread Lord K'thyzyxathrax the Soul Flayer is an evil overlord, accomplished lich king, and one of the most dangerous necromancers in the world. He is also terrible at using Twitter. These are some of his recent misadventures.

CW for dark humor, satire, genocide references, animal death,

The Sans Undertale Incident

I fucking hate all you people trying to "destigmatize" skeletons but especially Toby Fox. People dont even think a walking skeleton is scary anymore. Fuck off its a dead guy walking around with no muscles or tendons. This is an abomination against Gods and nature.

~~

I'm trying to strike terror into the populace here and you are making my job way harder. I'm not saying challenge doesnt breed innovation, wait til you see the shit I have in my dungeon rn, just sayin if I hear one more Sans Undertale joke some of you are gonna have a bad time

~~

Curator's note: replies omitted but you can imagine what they were like

Motherfucker. He says that? How the fuck was I supposed to know, I don't play your stupid preschooler video game about being nice to people.

~~

Shut up all of you. I am not your funny video game skeleton teenager. Power Word: BLOCKED

~~

The next motherfucker who remixes my ominous entrance music with Megalovania will be slowly flayed alive over a hundred year period, and also sued for copyright infringement.

The Mortuary Supply Drama

Since Charnel Chuck's Mortuary Supply Co. has refused to lift my "lifetime ban" on the grounds that they only approve of necromancy for "peaceful purposes" and with the "consent" of those whose remains are being used and have deleted my 1 star Yelp reviews (1/3)

(2/3) I have no choice but to take my grievance to Twitter. Your "code of ethics" is completely discriminatory against my desire to use undead to murder people. Go fuck yourselves. Your business is shit and even if you lift my ban I will never patronize your establishment (2/3)

(3/3) again after the way I have been treated. Your customer service is appalling. And another thing, any "lifetime" ban on me should have expired like a thousand years ago so double fuck you. @CharnelChucks www.CharnelChucksMortuary.com follower horde ratio them. Get their asses

Curator's Note: A followup tweet also posted the address of the business in question. This has not been reproduced due to our policy against doxxing, although it is available on their website.

(4/4) fuck I didn't add enough parts. Your products are also shoddy and overpriced and your storefront is inappropriately brightly lit for your industry. I hope your vampire customers sue you for using fluorescent lights.

(5/4) @CharnelChucks unblock me you fucking cowards. I saw that fucking statement you made disavowing all association with me, and you have no room to talk shit. You still sell products over Amazon.com after the scandal over them staffing their warehouses with (5/4)

(6/4) reanimated corpses of employees who said the word "Union" on the messenger app. Y'all can't take a stand for "respecting wishes of the deceased" and "ethical necromancy" while picking and choosing which evil overlords you work with. Also you refused to honor (6/4)

(7/4) your buy-2-get-1-free sale on crematory urns on my order of 600 urns. There was nothing on your sign about a 3-urn maximum. You assholes owe me $79,999.76. I'm opening my grimoire right now and looking up Power Word: Go Fuck Yourself

The Washington Monument Restoration

To everyone tagging me while they watched the evening news last night:

1: I didn't do it, that was my friend @CardinalCarnage

2: I wish I'd thought of it first, that was fucking hilarious, and I'm impressed with him for getting two 50' solid marble orbs onto the National Mall

~~

3: The Washington Monument was supposed to have balls and a glans in the original plans, but the confederates got custody of the balls in the civil war and at the time an aluminum cap of that size was too expensive so it was downsized.

~~

So actually it's a restoration not a defacement.

4: If you want to see what defacing a monument looks like it wait 'til you see Mt Rushmore

~~

I didnt fucking do anything to Mt Rushmore you idiots, they literally carved it into a sacred mountain just to be dicks to Native Americans. Fucking mortals. But hey thanks for the idea

~~

As an evil overlord I think carving your face into the monument of a people you conquered and oppressed is a pretty swag move but doing dead guys' faces instead of your own is just sad.

~~

I was thinking about re-carving all the major statues into my own face when I take over America but since I'm skeletal people will probably just think it's the same guys except accurately depicting how they look now since they're dead. But then again thats also a power move so still considering it

~~

Retweeted from @CardinalCarnage:

No, I only did the Monument, @KthyzyxathraXXX deserves full credit for filling the Reflecting Pool with blood. Nice job bro, my cultists think it's really cool and so do the boys in Hell

Thanks. Turns out it takes a lot of people to fill that with blood. Really wish there was more of it per body, had to keep healing the sacrifices because I didn't bring enough.

Vulture Culture, The Migratory Bird Treaty Act, and Cincinnati

Really loving the Vulture Culture pinterest boards for inspiration when making new unholy abominations. Newbie necromancers take note: don't limit yourself to using human remains, you will stifle your creativity.

~~

Been making so many "pets" lately I'm actually running out of space, so I'm adopting some of them out. I made this little fella from roadkill on I-64. He's free to a good home. I am not responsible for odor or leakage of putrefying bodily fluids onto your carpet.

~~

Replying to U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service:

Yes those are crow skulls. Nicely spotted!

~~

Replying to U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service:

I didn't sign any goddamn migratory bird treaty.

~~

Replying to U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service:

Fine, I removed and destroyed all the bird parts. JFC tell your followers to cool their jets. I cant believe I found a government body more annoying than the IRS

~~

Tweet made at the US Fish and Wildlife Service

Come get your game wardens. Sorry not sorry but they wandered into my labyrinth of terror and fell in a spike pit. You have 1 week to recover their bodies or I'm using them.

~~

Replying to OSHA:

Don't you fucking start. It's a dungeon it's supposed to be full of deadly booby traps. If you tell me I'm supposed to have railings on a spike pit I installed with the express purpose of people falling in it and dying you'll be first to go when I conquer this wretched land

~~

Replying to OSHA:

No I'm not fucking removing them. Shove a traffic cone up your asses. No weight that's the DOT's thing. What do you even do again?

~~

Really disappointed in the lack of adoption offers. How can you resist a face like this? Yeah the flesh is peeling off. I think the kids today call that Skrungly.

~~

Man this hobby is really addictive. Fuck I'm supposed to be raising armies and pillaging cities but I just spent the last 4 hours sewing a dozen raccoon arms to a dead coyote's neck.

~~

NVM I gave it a petrifying bite and a chain reanimation spell so killing two birds with one stone. Might also transmit rabies. Oh this is gonna be FUN. USFWS don't @ me because I said "killing two birds"

~~

I meant P U T R E F Y I N G bite. Fucking autocorrect. Petrifying bite and chain reanimation would be useless.

~~

Check this out. This buck's antlers carry a whole rack of Multiple Indepently Maneuvering Possums.

~~

Really Autocorrect? You correct Petrifying but let Indepently slide? Whatever. Anyway got a pretty good army going after all. Those possums are MEAN. City of Cincinnati pray to your impotent Gods because I'm coming for you. That'll teach you to lose the superbowl.

~~

Yeah, yeah, I only got as far as Covington and Newport. Fuck off, I know most of you have never invaded a metropolitan area. This was easier in medieval times when infrastructure wasn't so car dependent. 40k casualties is still a productive weekend

~~

I can cross running water just fine. I stopped south of the river on purpose because seeing the other side reminded me of how much Ohio sucks so I decided I don't want it.

~~

Okay fine. I swore a blood oath to never set foot in Ohio again after losing a hundred bucks on the superbowl this February. Exact wording was "until an Ohio team wins a Major League Sports championship" so in practice never.

~~

Catapulting diseased corpses across the river is fair game. Have fun with that.

~~

@CardinalCarnage appreciate the offer but seriously don't worry about it, that city sucks anyway. Just gonna let it go, pretty sure making "Ohio" no longer exist as a political entity cancels the oath anyway so shouldn't be too long even if their teams keep sucking ass

[tomschoolwork]

Get this

So there are these guys on tiktok, RaisetheBread and MagicalWeave. RaisetheBread, or Asar, is a positivity poster, overall really nice and he posts a bread video every week. Personally, he makes my day, and also makes bread tutorials. He's like the Bob Ross of bread. He also answers all of the questions his fans have. Somebody asked if he has a kid, and he went on about how amazing and lovely his kid is, but he refuses to put the kid on screen because he doesn't want to shove a camera in his kids face for the enjoyment of strangers online and Asar knew his kid would hate that. Asar, really great guy, has like 2 million followers.

Then there's MagicalWeave, aka Aset. She makes blankets, sews clothing, does pottery, an all around creative channel. She also does crystal posts for when people are curious about the crystal collection on a shelf behind her weaving desk. Aset's also very sweet, giving out life advice, telling people easiest ways to get rid of stains, all in all being very helpful. She's at about 1.9 million followers.

Because of these two being very kind and great people, their followers are joking about them getting together. Then one day Aset embroiders some birds on a shirt, and Asar's kid loves birds. Asar is seen wearing that shirt later on, and off camera you can hear his kid laughing about his dad in a bird shirt. Then Asar makes some sourdough bread, and while yes it's common, he did it after a fan asked Aset her favorite and she answered sourdough. People are now theorizing, maybe they're dating, maybe they're in a situationship, who knows.

Until one day, Asar has his fiance make bread with him for the first time. Immediately, people are heartbroken. They thought he was a single dad and that he would get with Aset. But then, Aset joins him on screen. They were engaged the whole time, but they made separate videos to not force one into their interests. The kid? Aset gave birth to him. But Asar and Aset continue with their content, getting more followers and fans in general. Other creators talk about how cute they are, and they are THE internet couple.

Then out of nowhere, RaisetheBread gets suspended. Everybody's shocked, RaisetheBread was so big and got taken down without warning. Asar can't find a reason, and he refuses to use Aset's account to plead his case. He decided to stay back for a bit.

Aset on the other hand, refuses to take his account going down. She starts reaching out support hotlines, emailing the tiktok support center, and eventually, somebody links her to account called ReadySetGo. He's a gaming account with a small cult like following. And he HATES RaisetheBread and Asar for some reason. With a passion. ReadySetGo was the one behind the downfall of RaisetheBread. He sent his followers to start mass reporting the account, and his followers did. Aset kindly asked him to stop, and ReadySetGo immediately jumped to calling her horrible words, and saying he hopes RaisetheBread never comes back.

But Aset's other attempts worked, because 2 weeks after RaisetheBread went down, it was suddenly back up. Asar decided to make a YouTube account in case RaisetheBread went down again. Aset and Asar were happy about RaisetheBread being back up, but not long after, it was permanently banned. Aset was disappointed and all of her previous solutions didn't work the second time around, so Asar switched to YouTube instead.

Funnily enough during one of Aset's embroidery livestreams, Aset's kid called ReadySetGo "a dum dum bully" and it went viral, with ReadySetGo calling the kid horrible words and he lost a LOT of followers, lol

[the-firebird69]

Now our son knows women are kind of nasty but they aren't like this idiot who does women's stuff and very pronounced way and harshly everyday and women want to move in next door and they want these idiots out and they refuse to leave and she started doing the cop routine to get him out the issuing threats and we're cutting them off they're going to stick them around his neck hes so dumb.

Is a few more things happening here

-John Riva Lord his name is mud and they want him out of here and they're going to declare him an outlaw and ban him from the United States not just Florida. But they would do it steps and first to get ban him from here. And Tommy F sees him attacking the centers and his reporting out the counter and they're going after Trumpsters headquarters. And they're using your name in vain all over town all of the macks and foreigners. Huge huge hits to put on you and bounty by tons of people and warrants by others and they want you in foreign countries for trial. One reason is you handed all the businesses out and I wanted to tell you and find you for it and hang you and move you on to the next country no they each want to burn you so they're going after your people Trump

-huge signs everywhere you're not allow this man in our country they're tearing up your election headquarters all over the world in the United States are setting fire to them after they raid them it's going on today

I have to say this you're fired Trump and yeah you're my stuff works all over the world and it's way over the top and it's this idiot Trump who did it I can't believe how many of our places well no they're your places okay not mine you idiot are on fire it's like 90% of your election headquarters are on fire it says to me maybe he has some big ones left and he does so I'm going to go after those

Bja

So Trump is starting to yell at him like it's an animal again and that's our sun is out yet so I said makes fun of him it's a matter of retard haven't had enough are you so stupid you don't know anything's happening

-we do have a couple other things happening here there's a huge number of people yelling at us try to tell us what to do we have no idea what they're talking about they're going after them with special warrant right now

-there's a huge war on Donald Trump and by practically everybody and it started up again last night is moaning and groaning the whole fleet's gone and I can't do anything if you will try to tell him it's backwards and you just listen to him and you believed him and he's flipping him off her son is flipping off Trump saying you believe me and I got you and I got you by it it's cuz you're weak and Trump is backing up and say you can't believe it and it's hard to say what's there to believe you're getting rid of your own people you dumb f*** you dumb focker.. you say it like he was saying for that month it was a whole month then coming out and waking our son up finally as he called our son called the cops so that's enough you're not going to do anything you're going away the guy just kept doing it and doing it even afterwards now he's doing different stuff killing rabbits as a makeshift pistol he has to leave now his people are going to be seriously depowered today. And yeah we're located and destroying your computers look everyone else right now because you want to say something to change a word and you're a loser but he's going to have a lot less power it'll probably not be sheriff and it's not going to be this other roles either like mayor of Port Charlotte he's not going to be anybody ever anywhere again but today is going down and I mean big time something broke and it was when he posted the Dr nardone and people said we're sick of you and they went after the hospital stuff while they're doing that you decided because you got shot to go after his people in his headquarters because you're an idiot and now they're going after you,, so really they're going after each other very hard and headquarters and it's going to set like in stone and the clone that shot him is up in Chicago and it's in jail and it's due for trial and the clones are trying to break him out. There's a bunch of those clones up there arrested and he was doing it as a cop saying as a friend of our son and all this dumb s*** said it doesn't have anything to do with it it sees this huge criminal and your behavior is odd in a way or way off because you are covered for him and accept it and you make it work and it doesn't matter why it's too big for you it's too big for Mac alone. Is the way for your ascertain that unless you do a complete you have to say how many ships you have how many people down there how many facilities how much hardware I put the list out there you probably don't think any of it exists and it does all of it does and it's got two planetoids coming up online with huge lasers, he says old people are mad at me have better try and is trying and screwing up and here we are with him all screwed up. Couple more things but really he's going down these two are at it they're having a war and it's because he was shot but the head clone badly by the way

-there's a few people around town recommending we say stuff but we don't want to this place is going to start busted open and the clones are going to start fighting the trumpsters at any moment and we're coming in to make sure that nothing happens never tell them to take it elsewhere if you don't grab them both and Intel will be coming out on them and we need it

-there's a huge number of people who hate these people especially those two and then going after them and one of them is Dan AKA Dave and he's going after with a lot of people here and put them in Port Charlotte too and it's getting put down. his guy suck his lady suck and he's out of the way shortly but nobody here and this is before court and needs to go to court too and he's going to have no Force here and he'll try and leave and they may let him and they may prevent him from coming back in and if they come back in they're going to be in prison wherever they get in and then in prison trying to get here and that's what they're doing and they're going to outlaw them today they say it too

-we've had a real trying time with these two imbeciles mostly Trump believe it or not he's more unreasonable than Tommy F who has very very huge amounts of power and can threaten a lot of people with Trump around it is blaring idiot mouth we had the focus on him so we could think. It's time for us to get rid of him and I'm calling a meeting so can utilize what's happening to make sure it goes to the end of his clan. We enacted the protocols and we're going to do it again and we're going to send it out again and make it into a huge deal too

Thor Freya

Zues Hera

I'm tired of hearing you Trump and I'm going to shut you down

Olympus

On a positive note although this is very positive we don't like Trump we are in receipt of tons of motorcycles and they're in Florida 20 million of them in 100 million will be here this afternoon and people are at the shops already and most of them are sold out and have to wait till this afternoon to get their bike and they're ordering more now

Hera

Thank God

Uriel and Goddess Wife and her son and daughter point out with this a****** Trump on the ropes these things happen and we agree it's all of the morlock and here and it's it has to be done and we're putting the orders out

Good job Zues Hera both

Olympus

We thank you yes we do

Hera Zues

[meltic-daze]

AITA for getting into a fight with my wife?

u/podracingking19

(This is a long post pls read I'm DESPERATE) 

Me (M22) and my beautiful amazing wife (F27) have been together for about four years. We were forced to secretly elope due to the religion I used to following banning any and all romantic entanglements. For all the time we've been married there hasn't been a single fight. Usually my wife and I are able to sort our differences calmly and rationally and this time our fight has me super worried. 

I've been having dreams of my wife dying while giving birth to our son. My dreams are prophetic and always come true so this is INCREDIBLY horrifying. It already happened to my mom and I couldn't save her (long story) and I can't let that happen again or I might actually lose my mind. She's all I have left. 

I tried to talk to my boss (M877) about it but he just brushed me off. He said "Letting go is the will of the force" or whatever, he's an inconsiderate prick. I've always disliked the little guy since we first met and he made fun of me for missing my mom. My boss was no help and really he's the only one I could ask. My teacher (M38) would brush me off too since mister perfect never goes against what the bossman says. Asshole. He'd also push the same bullshit and expect me to be okay with potentially losing someone I love AGAIN. I guess he wouldn't understand since he never loved anyone at all. 

Due to all this, I decided to leave my former religious apprenticeship behind. My workplace never appreciated me like I deserved anyway and it pissed me off every. Single. Day. My teacher (more like slave master) never sympathized with me and mocked my struggles. I hate him and his stupid beard and haughty attitude and constant judgements. My wonderful wife is the only person who supported me during these difficult times. She has really pretty eyes and hair and she's the wisest person in the whole wide world. Wait where am I going with this. 

Anyway. My new boss (M63) offered me a new position directly under him as his student which I immediately accepted. He showed me that my former leaders were all LIARS who never understood what really mattered in the universe- power and the means by which to grasp it. 

The most IMPORTANT part of this is that under his leadership I would be able to protect my wife from dying. She's all that matters, I would set the world on fire if it meant she'd stay warm. What other choice could I make? 

My boss told me to do some stuff like clear out my former workplace which I agreed to. It sucked herding out the younger members but thinking of my wife's loving hands got me through it. She would be so happy that we could finally be together in public. 

Or I THOUGHT she would be. When we met up again a couple planets over she was furious. I tried to explain that everything I did was for not only our future but the galaxy's - I planned on overthrowing my old boss for her the first second I got- and that we could carry out her dream together. 

BUT she refused to listen. My wife just said stuff about how "democracy is sacred how could you do this?" and "you're going down a path I can't follow."

I SAVED HER LIFE WHY IS SHE ANGRY? I DON'T UNDERSTAND??? 

I just want us to be together again I love her so much. Was I the bad guy here?

Edit: I forgot to mention my old teacher crawled out of her ship which didn't help matters. For a hot second I thought she betrayed me did something wrong but I swear I regretted it immediately and didn't mean it!