#and like what else am i supposed to do. not use the streaming service my parents pay for and instead risk fucking viruses

[toytulini]

getting real fucking fed up with hulu :)))))))))))))

[p-redux]

You know, I am stunned at the lack of logic and critical thinking in this fandom. It’s like those with extreme opinions have such strong confirmation bias that they can’t get out of their own way. When I read some of these posts on lots of different blogs, I am struck at the logical questions that are never truly answered- well except by ad hominem attacks and logical fallacies and extensive conspiracy theories.

1. Wouldn’t a TV show that’s not on a well-known and popular streaming service love the PR they’d get if their costars were actually in love and in a real life relationship? What value does the production company gain by keeping them hidden for almost 10 years? I can’t logically see that it would bring more profits. So we’re supposed to love a loyal, brave, committed, and family-oriented Jamie, but we need a single, sexy Sam to sell the show?? Cognitive dissonance anyone?

2. Now that it’s well established that Sam and Caitriona essentially ARE Outlander and are EPs, wouldn’t they have the power to say no more if this “ narrative” was true? If they quit, there’s no OL. Couldn’t they refuse to film anything else if they aren’t allowed to tell the truth (if it’s hidden)? It’s interesting that Ron and Terri are married, Maril and Matt have twins together, but S and C were forbidden to be together? I would think that could be a legitimate lawsuit. Didn’t they renegotiate new contracts since the first season?

3. Do people actually believe that Sam and Caitriona are good people, philanthropic people, hard working entrepreneurial people, wonderful human beings but at the same time think that either of them would actually lie about their own children? With Sam’s childhood, people honestly think he would deny his kids AND be away from them for months? That they both would lie and deceive us about her father’s funeral?

4. So it’s been 10 years and NOT ONE person associated with either of them has publicly and clearly stated, with no doubts or other possible connotations, that they are really together? No costars? No personal friends? No teacher of their kids? No hospital personnel where the kids were born? No extras on OL? No crew members- even those that have been gone long enough that any NDA they signed about the production would have expired? No hotel staff where they may have traveled with their kids? No former “fake gfs” who might be pissed? No friends of “ fake gfs” that want to defend their friend and set the record straight? Not one person who has been associated with OL who might just think this is harmful to children? No photos of them with kids in public- clear photos, not reflections or someone in the background that we cannot clearly identify? Not videos where we cannot tell who is actually there? Wouldn’t someone somewhere have gotten a photo of them together as a family? In ten years? Have you P, seen evidence that I haven’t? I have seen nothing but reflections, blurry images, unidentifiable people in the background. Am I missing something?

5. About their chemistry- they aren’t the only actors I have ever seen that have great chemistry but no real romantic relationship. There are lots of them. It’s like people don’t know what actors actually do. So much of chemistry in acting between actors is about trust and respect for the work. Even some of the best chemistry has been between actors who didn’t really like each other in real life, but were able to use their chemistry and their talent to create characters we believed loved each other.

6. Lastly, I can’t wrap my brain around liking and respecting these two actors for their work and for their real lives, while claiming every day they are lying to me.

People see what they want to see or what they need to see to support their position.

Occam’s Razor tells me that the simplest explanation is often the best one.

Hopefully when OL finally ends, these two will get some peace.

Now, watch the “but what about ______? “start.

Bless you Anon for summarizing everything I and countless other SANE fans have been saying in the Outlander fandom for the last 9 years. The thing is...some Extreme Shippers continue to ship for a few reasons. I put them in these categories:

1. OG shippers who have invested SO many YEARS in their SamCait fantasy ship. They want to "save face." It's embarrassing to acknowledge that you were fed and believed a LIE for so long. Their egos can't handle it, so they'd rather double down, and find a way to pretzel their brains around things that are obvious facts to the rest of us. They don't want to feel like they "lost." So, they just keep on denying the TRUTH and the mountains of evidence showing that Sam and Cait are not a couple in real life. The alternative is too painful to them. It's been too much time, too much energy, too much of themselves invested in the ship, and they are missing something in their real lives. The ship fills that void.

2. New fans to Outlander who have recently discovered it. They've gone down the rabbit hole of shipper Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter X accounts and they haven't climbed their way out yet to blogs like mine, and other Non-Shippers.

3. The Fake Shippers who pretend to be shippers to MAKE MONEY off those still clinging on to the life boats. There are still bloggers and shipper groups who know they have a captive audience in shippers holding out hope that some of what the original shipper leaders sold them might actually be true. These fake shippers manipulate gifs, pictures, videos, SHOW shippers what they WANT to see. They keep them hanging on with podcasts, magazine, subscriptions. They sell them trips to Scotland, conventions t-shirts, mugs, daily "proof" that Sam and Cait secretly live together with their 5 bairns. And because con artists are experts at conning people, they make everything believable...and some poor souls buy what they're selling. Literally BUY 💵 what they're selling. Sadly, this fandom is filled with a lot of retired women with disposable income, who are lonely or disillusioned with their own lives. And they are easy pickings for the money hungry fake shippers.

So, in summary, the reason there are still some SamCait Shippers is a combination of fake shippers SELLING them the fantasy AND women needing to STILL hold onto the fantasy. With a few actually mentally unwell women thrown in here and there, who have diagnosable mental health issues.

It's actually quite sad. If only they had gotten off the ship with the rest of us years ago, they could have been enjoying celebrating REAL love. Instead, they're on a constantly rocky ship that causes them disappointment more often than not. Here, on terra firma, no one needs Dramamine. It's lovely. Because it's REAL. 💞

[noa-de-cajou]

Day 15 : Family visits / Effortlessly loving you

Abel belongs to @thal-ent (happy one year anniversary Thalou <33)

_____

“Judicaël, we’re back.”

I rise slowly from my bed at the sound of Abel’s voice.

It’s been three weeks since what we like to call Judi’s Second Biggest Mistake, or The Mistake for short. I picked the name myself.

I wish I could say everything just went back to normal but it really didn't. Everyone forced me to take a huge break from everything, the business trips, social media, public speaking, Valéry told me he'd hire a communication team (“it was long overdue, Judi”) and that he’d take care of the rest. We kind of made up, with Val. I was scared it was out of pity, but he reassured me. We talked for a long time. Basically, I've been a huge asshole to him, he was a dick to me, we’re even. I’m glad we’re still friends.

Since then, it's been ups and downs. Baihya, Bertie and Dodo have been watching over me like mother hens. Abel’s here too. He was only supposed to book the guest room for a week, but then he just started sleeping on a mattress next to my bed. Well, if you can call that sleeping. He spends his nights watching over me.

I scared the shit out of him. Out of everyone.

A lot of people come by to say hi and I have all the time in the world to talk to them now. Lan Yue, Michiru, Emerens, Altaïr… Even Hibiki came and she was crying. I never saw her cry before, like ever. Benedikt was there too, it felt like a whole ass fever dream.

But yeah, everyone has been really good to me. And I'm not really there yet but I think I'm getting better. It’s still hard to get up. It’s hard to face the guilt and the thoughts when I can’t work myself to the bone. But overall, it’s been alright.

They never leave me alone in the building alone, though. Feels kind of infantilizing, but I can’t blame them.

Dodo and Abel went to get groceries, which lasted about an hour.

It’s weird because I never heard of groceries barking before.

The next moment, the door of my room bursts open and something just latches onto me. Something with a lot of fur and a smell I’d recognize anywhere.

“... Marsha?”

Happy bark. Dear god. It is him.

I squeeze him tightly, but I have no idea what the fuck is happening. What is my service dog doing here? My mom’s supposed to be taking of him.

“Surprise,” Abel says softly.

He's standing in the doorway with Dodo, who’s looking very pleased with herself. Those bastards. Those sweet, adorable bastards.

“How did you guys…”

“Well, the three of us thought Marsha’s presence was much needed.”

Three?

Wait.

My eyes widen.

“Shut up. You didn't.”

“Yes we did.”

“You didn’t.”

“Yes they did,” someone else chimes in.

She walks in, her hair in a bun, greyer than the last time I saw her, she looks exhausted too, her eyebags are huge behind her glasses, but she smiles at me.

“Hi, honey.”

My mom. Those crazy bitches brought my mom here. She walks up to me and takes me in her arms as tears stream down my face.

“I’m sorry I couldn't come in earlier. You know, with work, and the tickets…”

“It's fine,” I say, and voice cracks. “I’m glad you’re here, I really am.”

Dad would have never showed up like this. Not like I really want him to.

I look at Abel and Dodo past my mom's shoulder.

“You fuckers. I love you so much.”

“We love you too,” Dodo sneers.

My mom pulls away from me after a few minutes, puts her hands on her hips.

“We’ll talk more later, honey. Theodosia, where’s the kitchen?”

“Uh, I can show you if you’d like, but Blanche, you should really rest-”

“No, I feel just fine, I slept for the whole flight! I need to get my hands on something. And to cook up something nice for my son and his friends!”

And she saunters away, followed by Dodo mumbling well, now at least we know where Judi gets that energy from.

Abel remains standing in the doorway. I look at him, he looks at me. We don’t say anything. We don't need to. He closes the door and walks up to me.

He attempts to sit on the bed.

Attempts, because Marsha just straight up latches onto him, getting a little surprised “ah” out of him as he tumbles over. I try to stop Marsha, forgetting that I literally cannot walk, fall on top of the both of them, and boom, here we are on the floor. Poor Abel is stuck beneath both me and my dog enthusiastically licking his face. What a life.

“... Ow. You okay?”

“Yeah,” he replies. “You?”

God, he looks so tired. He’s probably feeling worse than he lets on. Marsha doesn't just jump on people for no reason.

“I’m okay. I’m… feeling great, actually. And uh. Sorry for the contact. I can't get up.”

“I know. I don’t mind if it's you.”

I’m gonna cry again if he keeps this shit up. He’s not even being sweet, he’s just being sincere. Which is sweet.

“... Thanks. For this. My mom. I needed that.”

“I know.”

“Yeah. You always know, don’t you?”

“No. Not always.”

I can easily guess what he means.

He was taken by surprise last month. But he couldn’t have known. I hid from everyone just how bad things got. Even from myself.

“I’m sorry, Abel. I really am.”

“And I already told you I’m not mad at you.”

“You could be, you know. I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Judicaël.”

He slowly pats my head.

“I'm just glad you made it.”

“Yeah… Me too, you know.”

A silence. I break it once more, raising my face a little.

“I’m glad to have you. I'm glad you’re here.”

I know I'm not easy to love, but he makes me feel like I am.

We went through horrendous times, I did him dirty more than once, but he’s still here. I guess I must be worth it.

He doesn't reply at first. Just wraps an arm around me. The one that's not being squished by my dog.

“I’m glad you’re still here too,” he says, his voice so low I'm scared it’s just going to disappear.

We stay like this. In silence. I don’t say it, because I don’t want to overwhelm him, but I just know.

If I needed a single reason to stay, he’d be the first.

[crmsnmth-journal]

5/6/2024 11:00 PM

I always seem to forget how boring things get when I'm not at work all the time. Every year I find myself looking forward to when the hours drop so I don't have to work as much, and then after the first week or two, Mondays and Tuesdays just drag. It doesn't help that I live in the middle of the woods, and I do not drive. I can't. I get really anxious and nervous behind the wheel. I've even had panic attacks. Even at sixteen I wasn't all that excited to get a liscense. I didn't care, and I still don't. But not driving means you can't go anywhere, and there's only so many laps I can make around the property before the actual beauty of the woods gets to be just the same ol', same ol'. That bothers me. In principle and in theory. I don't like losing the kind of wonder being out in the woods still brings me. But when you know every step of your forest, it starts to seem stale. All that means is, I need to cross the river and hike that side. And eventually, that grows stale as well, but by then work will be back to more hours. And hell, I may not even still be at the Alley. I mean, my goal was to find something else by the summer's end. I've got extra time to look and redo my resume and get a linkedin like a professional adult. I'm not going to find a new job by just wondering around. The days of that are long long gone. I won't say I miss filling out application after application. Auto-fill is an awesome tool.

I did fix my hair today. It'd been awhile since I touched up the bleached side and the black side. At least an inch of new hair's been added, and I don't really like that muddy look. I did mess up today though and did the bleaching and the black dye at the same time. I got the bleach in it's half, and then did the black on the other. A few specks of black ended up on the bleach side and put a bluish silver streak through it. Total accident, but I kind of really dig how it looks. Retouching up stuff like this always puts me in a better mood. I used to do different colors with the black, but I started doing white and black last November and it's just kind of stuck. It's not my all time favorite that I've ever done with my hair, but it's the most me I've felt from my hair coloring. And I'll take that as a win, because half the time, I don't even know who I am, let alone how I'm supposed to feel.

Now, I've got The Munsters on because, why wouldn't I? It's one of the major reasons I made a Peacock TV account. That, WWE stuff cause I will forever be a wrestling kid, Old SNL from when I was a kid and thought it was the funniest show on Earth, and to be honest, Peacocks Horror selection is not something to scoff at. Hsving Cannibal Holocaust alone is worth the price of admission. And all four Toxic Avenger movies? I'd love the rest of the Troma catalouge, and their are plenty of them on it. I'm going to stop now, because I feel like I'm peddling for a streaming service, and that makes me feel very conflicted.

I'll write for a while, or at least until my meds make spelling and grammar a thing of the past. I don't have a lot of phrases to work with today, but at least I can get a couple squeezed out me, I think. No matter what, at least one that I started about ten minutes after I woke up. I think I've got that one pretty well figured our and arranged.

[akorah]

Thank you to @millennialgrandma for the tag 😘

Three Ships: I'm basically Team Hermione + [insert man], but Theomione is where I've landed for the time being. If this lasts as long as my Dramione phase, I'll still being writing Theomione in 2040. Beyond HP, Will/Tessa from Shadowhunters (look, I love Jem as much as the next girl, but idiots-to-lovers is my vibe), and Lucie/Jesse from the same. I hate that Cassie Clare has actually managed to create canon ships that I love. Like, what am I supposed to do now? The fanfiction is already written.

First Ship: Kiara and Kovu from Lion King 2, 100%. About 4 years after that, I read HP for the first time--before OotP was published, mind you--and was immediately Dramione trash (back when we called it DMHG because portmanteaus weren't a thing yet).

Last Song: I've been listening to the same 4 songs for the last week and a half. Currently playing: "W.I.T.C.H." by Devon Cole.

Last Movie: Uhhhhh....according to my Letterboxd, it was Saved!, which, phenomenal movie.

Currently Reading: I'm halfway through a bunch of books right now. I finally listened to Keeping House While Drowning by K.C. Davis last night. I've got the Riyria Chronicles checked out on Libby, so that's my current priority. After that will probably be finishing Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow since I promised @they-call-me-megs I was going to read it months ago. ... And then I have a stack of Olivie Blake books, because she publishes faster than I can read.

Currently Watching: Nothing. I'm not really a movie/tv person, tbh, and the whole Netflix password sharing BS has soured me on using streaming services in general.

Last Thing I Wrote: Fiction-wise, I think it was Ascent, which was last July. I just posted the second chapter of Silencio, but that had been sitting in my Google Docs for two years. Since last August, I've mostly written papers for university (graduated in December) and a lot of emails for work.

Currently Writing: Working on a Marauder-era/Lightning-era parallel timeline time-travel fic that's been kicking my ass for about two years. I've written about 200k for it, and about 30k of that is actually making it into the story.

Tagging: @saveourskinship @they-call-me-megs @sherylholmes, and anyone else who feels compelled to overshare on the internet ❤️

[gwaaaaar]

So, remember that long ass post i made abt noah thy creature characterization bc i was ill. Here to back up on my claims btw. Spoilers below, this is info i gathered from regis altares stream as i cannot play the game </3

I... i kind of miss early access thy creature. The story and the flow was just, so much more natural and endearing and calm. Like you had time to savor the residents and get to know them. There wasn't a rush. This isn't to say the new version is bad, I just enjoyed the early access much more. Specifically the introduction. The way Noah is introduced first makes him feel more personal to the creature. In the final version you meet Noah, El and Justine all together. And oh my god El.

Where do I begin. He is not a bad character, on the contrary I think hes ok. But it feels as if he took Noahs more positive traits like the kindness and selflessness. And he feels ever so slightly shoehorned in, BUT he does have an important role. Afaik he is the nepe of madness, mazm spoiled that in like previous material and shit like im assuming its supposed to be a surprise but its so obvious theyre related. But to a newcomer it would be a surprise so i wont riff on mazm too much.

So yeah we meet El in the beginning as opposed to later on. This is important because madness is the third floor boss, if they wanted the twist with El to hit, the player would have to know him since the beginning. Since early access didnt have El then, they'd have to change up the approach.

Tbh how I'd write the new version would be keeping the EA plot, BUT, introduce El in the beginning with Noah, and also develop their interpersonal relationship because it seems Noah does trust El. It would be good to develop a reason why he trusts El and also El can convince him to help the creature. It would hopefully keep the same effect as the final version where you still get to meet El in the beginning.

While we are at change, Noah feels ever so slightly flanderized from early access, its hilarious. HE LITERALLY MAKES CASH REGISTER NOISES THATS HIS SFX!!!! Its so funny it makes me laugh, mori calliopes mickey voice for him is priceless. BUT, in a story sense, flanderization is kinda, not good. Its not good to reduce characters to a singular trait as that is how they become one dimensional.

However, I am making these assumptions based on the 3 hours of gameplay i have seen, and I am not saying this is Noah in entirety. For all i know he may get development and grow as a character. I applaud mazm for their characters as that is what they mainly focus on when it comes to writing. They want memorable characters, I just dont think flanderization is the way to go.

Noah in the new version is a man that lives by the sigma grindset. He cracks a lot more mortician jokes which is rlly funny that can stay. There is also a flyer for a "evans funeral service" which gives a two in one coffin deal, sounds familiar doesnt it? If Noah's last name is "Evans" then thats a pretty clever way of revealing that. But hes far more transactional and light hearted compared to previous Noah who could be an absolute edgelord if he wanted to.

EA Noahs lines about beggars asking for free services and his more dry sarcasm conveyed a more adult vibe to him. Hes like 33 hes seen some shit. Thats not old but more like enough time for him to be thoroughly unamused by the world. His tired lines reveal just how little faith he has in anyone but himself and certain people. But then you get his memories, you see that sweeter side to him, and he gets more lighthearted and a friend to the creature. He makes jokes with the creature, he teaches it about life and new words, all sorta fun stuff.

Hes still using it, hes 100 transparent about it and he apologizes for lying to the creature about going up the tower. However, the friendship it builds with the creature feels more personal, more earned. He helped the creature not because of someone elses interference (El in the new version), but out of his own will, even if there was financial intent behind it. He was the one that tried breaking down the door and failed. He had far more of an independent role and felt like a character, not azul ashengrotto 2.0. I have joked abt Noah being an MLM salesman but I did not expect this.

When Noah got his memories back in EA, he had a strong reaction to them, and you got to learn just a bit more about him, adding depth to his character. In the new version it doesn't really feel like you're getting anything new from it. Sure the meat is in the memories, but I think the character's reactions to those memories also matters a lot. It shows how they've changed as a person, and its a subtle way of self reflection.

I feel as if because we don't know about new Noah that much yet, he does fall a bit flat. I hope that his arc does not end here! And I am sure it wont! I'm sure his story will continue even beyond floor one. Mazm is amazing at characters when it wants to be, and for a game like thy creature, i think it does want to be outstanding.

[nickgerlich]

Coming Together

When I bought my house in 1989, I was faced with a decision. Since I was out in the country and far from anything resembling cable TV, I could either mount an aerial on the roof, or buy a massive 12-foot mesh satellite dish that had to be mounted atop a pole set in concrete in the back yard.

I chose the latter, because I wanted more than what was coming over the air out of Amarillo. The dish, the large tuner and remote for the inside, heavy duty wiring, and installation set me back about $3500.

And that was just so I could watch regular old linear television. Even HBO and the other subscription services had rigid times for showings. You couldn’t pick what you wanted to watch. You could only pick if you wanted to watch what they were showing.

That old dish rocked in the West Texas wind, and did an amazing job collecting snow in winter. There was no TV watching when that happened, which as anyone who lives here knows, could be a lot of the time because of the way the wind blows.

About a decade later, I jumped ship and signed on with DirecTV. Although the company had launched in 1994 with much smaller dishes, I had to try to get my money’s worth out of my backyard monstrosity. Still, I was all too happy to see that thing go away.

In the years that followed, I eventually switched to competitor Dish TV, then back to DirecTV. Well, that is, until recently, which I wrote about a month ago. Now I am a YouTube TV customer for when I want to watch linear TV, and a streamer for everything else.

All of this for background, because today’s topic is about DirecTV and Dish coming together in a very different era of television viewing. How we watch has changed; how we consume our media is vastly different from 1989 when I handed over my credit card for that first dish.

Earlier this week, DirecTV bought Dish for $1. You read that right. It’s just that DirecTV also agreed to assume Dish TV’s staggering $9.75 billion in debt. Yikes.

There’s some irony in all this, though, because a little more than 20 years ago, Dish tried to buy DirecTV, but the FTC stepped in, saying it would hurt competition. Today, it appears they couldn’t care less. The combined DirecTV and Dish will have about 20 million customers, which is about what DirecTV had on its own before it started hemorrhaging seven million customers who just abandoned them. Like me.

It’s a dying business, although it won’t die any time soon. There are also still 68.7 million cable subscribers, but when you add them to the combined DirecTV/Dish, that comes to only about 89 million, a far cry from the 130 million households in the US. The customers are getting away and going elsewhere. Cutting the cord is very fashionable.

There’s a wrinkle in all of this, because back in 2014, AT&T bought DirecTV for $48.5 billion, but that investment rapidly plummeted in value. In 2021, AT&T sold 30% of its equity for $16.2 billion to TPG, a private equity firm. And this week, concurrent with the DirecTV/Dish deal, AT&T sold the remaining 70% to TPG for $7.9 billion. Do the math. AT&T lost one-half of its investment over the span of 10 years, and had it waited much longer, it likely would have lost far more.

All because of the shifting sands of media consumption.

While DirecTV thinks its acquisition will improve its odds of weathering this storm, it must remember the fact that it is selling programming that fewer and fewer people care about. Even though DirecTV is now offering a similar streaming linear TV service like YouTube TV, it’s too little, too late. The eyeballs, it turns out, are looking at Netflix, Max, Hulu, and others. What we want, when we want it, where we want it.

I suppose I can give a half-hearted high five to DirecTV for joining forces. Maybe two sinking ships can float as one. But then again, we saw what happened after Sears and Kmart merged. It hasn’t ended well. Consumers have spoken, and we rather like being in control of how we consume our media. And if I had to bet, in a decade or so Netflix will produce a documentary about the ultimate demise of these two companies, a demise they helped engineer in large part.

Dr “What To Watch Tonight?” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[howaboutcastiel-personal]

I’m writing the note as like an exercise. I don’t really know. I just know I can’t sleep and my body is still in pain, even though it’s on a dip right now so it isn’t unbearable.

But yeah this is the note. I don’t know who it would even be for because at this point do I want them to understand? Would writing it help or would they laugh at me posthumously too? Like they would read it and go ha. Stupid girl. Silly girl. You’re so wrong and stupid and selfish. Haha. Jokes on you.

I honestly don’t remember how much pain I used to be in. But I know the pain right now is distracting at best. When it’s at its worst I just want to lay down and moan. I can’t read or write or even watch tv. Not to mention I’m not fucking interested in watching it anyway, and streaming services have made it so it’s going to take years just to get to see anything I’m excited about again.

The world really just feels like a trap. Right? It’s not supposed to be this hard to be alive right? Like who the fuck made it a challenge to live? I should be able to just garden and then sleep all day. It’s so stupid how we have to work a lot to just basically meet our survival needs.

And I’m barely surviving either way. I swear to God no one cares. I get that no one is supposed to care, but why do I have to hurt every day? My stomach hurts too much for me to be happy sometimes. And I’m on so many fucking drugs that I think what’s the point? I’m still so miserable and I’m on all of the drugs for what? What if I just stopped taking every single one of them? What if I was just rawdogging life one hundred percent? Would I feel better?

It’s so frustrating because I’m never going to love myself. When I was in school I was doing so well. I had a job. I had a full schedule. I had an internship and I was living independently for the most part. And I could clean and cook and feed myself and it was okay. And I was writing. I was meeting my goals but then I couldn’t drive and I was socially scared so of course nothing else matters and I am a complete and utter failure that doesn’t deserve to live.

And now of course I still feel like that but I don’t have a job anymore. And I’m doing all of the households laundry and about ninety percent of the dishes. I’m cooking dinner ninety percent of the time and I’m meal planning and I don’t know what else but the house is a fucking mess and if I wasn’t here it would be even more unlivable.

The best thing would be for me to leave and forget this place and just do things for myself. And I want to do that but I’m scared and they’re familiar even though they hate me. They don’t say no to everything and they can’t. Because they think that they’re good people. And they do everything for Ethan. And they helped chuck and reshon. And Nevaeh. And mom buys all those gifts for people’s wedding and baby showers. So like yeah i should ask them for things and not feel bad but how am I supposed to??

It’s not my fault that she feels obligated to do all these things. I should make her feel obligated to do more things for me. I should yell back when she yells at me. Why does she get to believe she’s a good mother? Why does she get to believe that she’s a good person? A smart person???? She’s a fucking narcissistic moron. She’s bipolar or borderline or something and refuses to get help and it’s everyone else’s problem and I’m fucking dependent on her like the idiot I am.

I would like to live… not alone. But with people I love and who love me. And who don’t yell at me and who actually like me and who understand that if I go too long being home alone I’ll get scared and want to die. Maybe like a polycule or just a commune or not even a commune but just roommates that I get along with. I’m just so stupid and cowardly and I don’t believe that I can do it. And change is going to happen regardless and I’m terrified.

It’s not that I’m even suicidal right now. I’m just in so much goddamn pain and I have no idea how to move forward or where I would even want to move forward. I’m not interested in things anymore!! I don’t want to cook as much as I used to and I don’t want to play house as much as I used to and I’m so scared of resenting everything but I already do resent everything. And I know I’m going to miss it when it’s gone too.

I don’t know what I want and I don’t remember what it’s like to have ambition that isn’t obsessive and compulsive. I miss having joy and thinking about my interests. I can’t even daydream about Cobb or Din because I can’t think at all, and I can’t stand watching them on television anymore. And there’s nothing new coming out to help. There’s radio silence because Hollywood is so fucking slow now and everything sucks and Joel’s gonna fucking die anyway. And who fucking even cares about Din anymore because Favreau sure doesn’t.

And I guess Raylan is gone which is fine. And Joel Hammond is gone which is fine. And the alien show is probably not going to be for me and fuck it, Timothy Olyphant isn’t even good at acting. We all know that. Cobb is probably gone, or they’ll fuck up his story on the one-in-a-million chance he ever comes back. Deadwood is fine, but I can only love it so hard. And I don’t know what else Tim would be doing. Oscar is going places I guess. There’s the fantastic four which I also don’t care so much about, but I’ll see it for Pedro. Moon Knight is still on that season two rumor but I don’t remember what it’s like to miss those boys.

And it’s not rewarding to self insert in the fanfiction anymore. I keep doing bad things to Din. Putting him in circumstances I’ve never even been in. I don’t know what else to do. It doesn’t matter if he was abused. It doesn’t matter that Cobb’s parents hate him. And the happy ending I have to write just makes me feel nothing, but I can’t write a bad ending either because I’ll be devastated.

I’m just nauseated. I’m sick to my stomach and I have this headache that keeps coming back and I can’t stop grinding my teeth. And after being so tired for my entire life I finally have energy thanks to the steroids and I feel like it’s a total waste. They aren’t making me feel better they’re just keeping me awake. I would get a job somewhere. I could work for Kamala’s campaign. But I’m just. In pain. And I’m scared. And stupiddd.

If I was going to say the things I wanted to dad. It would be that he’s a fucking loser. The things I hate about myself are the same things I hate about him but he knows how to drive. He can’t hold a job and he can’t learn new things without being too angry that he isn’t good at it yet. And he hates authority and he’s pathetic. He’s racist and sexist and homophobic and transphobic and he’s entitled. He’s entitled to lunch every day. He’s entitled to never having to do the fucking housework. I do more than he does to contribute to the household but mom still waits on him hand and foot.

And she’s barely any better. She’s more productive and she does things for other people, but her soul is so gross. She’s selfish and she thinks that she’s amazing. She thinks she’s the best person ever and oh so smart and so caring and everything she does is right and her way is the right way and she will laugh at you. I want to kill things when she laughs. It’s like she makes my ears bleed just from her fucking stupid witchy laugh. Why does she get to be happy??? She’s not funny. And not smart. Her interests are stupid and her habits are stupid. She has no real compassion and I swear every Good thing she does is manipulative and she does it for the sake of appearance.

And she wastes money. On stupid shit. And then makes me feel guilty for needing food and shelter and healthcare. She hates me and im never going to not be mad at her for hating me and I swear to god I hate her right back. Even though she helps sometimes. It’s like she helps so I can owe her. It’s like she gave birth to me so that I could owe her and I will owe her until we’re both deep in the ground. If I died it would be about her too. It would be something I did to her. And another chance for her to be a fucking. Victim. Of course.

I don’t know what justice would even be. It’s not like I want to inflict pain on them both. I just think they shouldn’t be allowed to be happy like this. It would be so simple for them to just turn on their fucking brains and learn how to be compassionate. Mom could learn how to actually love her children unconditionally. She could learn how to plan for the future and spend money on things that matter and be pragmatic about how she fixes problems. And want me to get better because she loves me and not just because I’m her burden and the disappointment she never fucking wanted.

Dad could change everything about himself. Stop being so selfish, and entitled. Get a real job, since they think I’m horrible for not having one and yet he’s a fucking failure. Go to the doctor for the things that are wrong. Stop being racist and hating queer people and learn how to respect women. And do chores without being asked and without bailing out and asking for help even though it’s simple fucking chores you never do anything for anyone you fucking evil moron. He could pack his fucking lunch. I swear to god just pack your fucking lunch and stop drinking coke.

They failed with the other one but I’m the failure ???? He’s racist !!! He’s crazy. He’s insane and he’s violent and sexist and one day he’s going to kill someone. Maybe Julia. And he’s an asshole and he stood me up on my birthday and why the fuck does he get to appear to be the successful one I fucking hate him. I want to hurt him. I do want him to suffer because there’s no hope for him and he’s dangerous. And just for the record fuck Julia too. But she doesn’t deserve to die and I hope he doesn’t kill her.

I want to stop hurting. Fucking listen to me !!! Somethings in there. Something is wrong and it’s hurting all the fucking time and STOP IT PLEASE. I can’t even sleep in peace. I’m fat and I can’t even be skinny like the good sick people are and fucking I hate it. I hate living like this why can’t I stop the fucking pain? I’m gonna get addicted to drugs because I can’t stop the fucking pain. I just want it to stop I want to fucking fix it why can’t it JUST GO AWAY?

The doctors don’t care and it’s all the way in Charlotte and they don’t answer my calls or messages and the next appointment is three months out and oh it’s probably anxiety or oh we’re not worried or oh the test looks abnormal but we’re not gonna do anything about it like can you at least fucking shoot me??? You’d at least put a fucking dog out of its misery can you please just listen to me??

I have to do the dishes. I have to do the laundry. It hurts. I have to eat. I have to lose weight. And fuck you it hurts. What am I supposed to do? You can’t work for the government and do drugs. You can’t work anywhere and do drugs. You can’t just not work. Nobody is going to love me. I don’t even remember what my personality is.

I don’t remember what the fuck I am? They don’t call me the name I like. I can’t tell them. And it’s stupid because I don’t even know anymore. The body is not even mine. I just live in it. And it kills me and I don’t want to even look at it. I keep dreaming about people who don’t love me anymore and I don’t know how to go back outside but I’ll die in here and that is worse and what the fuck am I supposed to even do

[walkingwithaliens]

I’m so over fucking the way things are set up. Like you have to pay godly amounts of money for wild shit.

I have a family of 5. Say we all wanted gta 5. That’s $300 fucking dollars so all 5 of us can play. Then if they come out with a new version we have to pay $100 extra dollars to get the new version. (Not the new gta 6, just the new version) that’s fucking $400 just for ONE game for all of us to play. On top of the damn Xbox’s or ps’s.

Why? Back in the day I can buy one fucking disk and the entire family play it. For $60.

They want me to buy cable still, but then now all the cable channels are creating apps. So now they want me to keep my cable so I can still watch my old shit but I gotta buy the app to see new shit or different shit from the same show I watch on cable. And now they are putting commercials on the streaming services. Sure I can pay more for no commercials but what the fuck.

Then they come out with apps for your phone, gaming apps or anything else… but you gotta pay for the app. Then you gotta pay for shit once you get the app. Or the app is free but to actually use it you gotta pay for shit. All while getting fucking ads for other apps. Or partner apps.

Then I got ads in my news, my emails, my fucking everything.

It’s just buy buy buy. But we aren’t going to give you enough money to live on let alone get shit like this. I can’t afford food but I’m gonna spend $5.00 a month for no ads and skips on Pandora?

I gotta pay for YouTube with no ads.

I gotta pay for literally everything. When I can’t they say it’s cause I’m spending on stupid shit. So I’m just supposed to suffer without ANY kind of break. Then when I do give that shit up and work to death and am depressed then they say that’s my fault too.

Fuck this shit, I want out.

[jeanjauthor]

There are so many good ones in this list...

Grabbing the exact number in a handful is unbelievably useful, especially if you're going into construction (nails, screws, nuts, bolts), food service (even portions of food, presuming this works when you wear one of those food handling gloves), or pharmacy work (filling prescription orders).

Knowing exactly what time it will begin raining in the immediate area that day is very useful for water collection systems, such as rooftop water collection, so you know how much time you have before you have to clean out the first flush diverter cachement from the last rainstorm's runoff. It can increase the chances of making sure enough water is caught/cached for irrigation needs. You can predict when a river will rise to flood stage when a storm system is about to dump even more water into an already overloaded riverbed, etc, etc, etc.

Once a week, you can feed yourself or someone else. (Hopefully with a gluten-free option for those who cannot consume wheat, or options for other such allergens/issues.) It's just one person, but it's still incredibly powerful, because sometimes people are in desperate need of just 1 meal.

Cats. 'Nuff said. (Yes I know I didn't pick this one, no I am not ill in any way; I just think I'd rather have the cats come to me, is all.)

...I have severe arachnophobia, but I suppose it'd be super nice to be trustworthy if you're an arachnologist, studying spiders professionally.

Emitting the scent of any flower at will can help bring joy to the blind, lift the spirits of someone stuck in an antiseptic-cleaner-reeking hospital room, give someone a scented experience without risking pollen-based allergies, and more.

...I cannot crack my knuckles, it freaks me out, and I know it doesn't hurt your joints too much--and yes, I know it can alleviate suffering for some people--but if your finger joints light up for 1 minute, you will never have to worry about being completely lost in the dark ever again. So that's actually pretty cool & useful. (Far more so imho than the spider trustworthiness power if you're not someone who studies spiders, arthropods, etc.)

You never stub your toe again is the most underrated minor superpower. My little pinky toe has a black toenail because of not having this superpower...and it's been months since I stubbed it. Highly underrated superpower. Almost picked this one.

I know a LOT of people will go for the "erase your memory of a book so you can reread it for the first time again" and I totally respect that...but...I love being able to think back and remember a book that I've ready, and then if I re-read it, i can remember certain things from later in the book that I suddenly realize were foreshadow-hinted-at earlier in the book, and that's a great feeling, enjoying the author's cleverness. If my memory is erased, I don't get to have that feeling, and that's kinda sad for me. But for others, completely valid and I support it.

Beaming a catchy pop song into someone's head...I almost picked this one. There are so many evil people worldwide I would absolutely plague with this...but in the end I decided not to go that route. (Also didn't pick it because unless it's like just think of them and beam it to them without needing line-of-sight or whatever...well, I don't have direct access to any of the people who do disserve to be earwormed into a huddled mess.)

I picked the count fish in a body of water route. I wouldn't go on the water very often because I easily get motion sickness, but it would be highly useful to biologists and environmentalists, especially if I could tell what kind of fish in which numbers. Look at it, write it all down, move on to the next inlet, lake, or stream. Very environmentally practical, doesn't harm anybody, and it doesn't involve my phobia.

Changing eye color would be great for people who do a lot of acting or a lot of (especially face) modeling, but who cannot wear contacts. Yeah yeah, getting away with crimes, thwarting facial recognition software, blah blah blah...nah, let's go kind and practical. Perfect for modeling and acting.

[queenofthursday6599-blog]

So my older sister has decided to do that thing where you google your own name to see what information about yourself is on the internet up for grabs by information brokers and guess what?

As far as the internet is concerned I don't actually exist as anything beyond being one of my sister's aliases.

Though my sister technically has two entries on this website.

The one under our merged identity (her first name, my middle name, my last name which is also her maiden name), which is also seemingly merged with a random 3rd women who neither of us know. Which also has my birthday listed, but has no known relatives or associates listed (because that person doesn't exist).

Then another under her current name, which changed when she got married. Which fails to list her birthday or phone number, but does have her connected to various other people. Like her husband's family are all listed as relatives, but our mom is just listed as someone she might know.

Though we think there's still some influence of the random 3rd women who's part of the other entry, because she's also listed as knowing or being related to a bunch of people that neither of us know.

Current theory is that the weird jankey amalgam of 3 different women identity profile is actually supposed to be me.

I think me and her (original) online identities got merged when Google bought Youtube.

At e point before the merger, I had let her use my yahoo to sign up for a Youtube account, after she lost the password to her previous account. Even though I already had an account using that same yahoo (which I knew was weird and broken to be able to do that in the first place).

After the merger our two separate Youtube accounts got merged because they were using the same email address. Specifically my account got cannibalized by her account more or less, because I wasn't able to access my original Youtube account at all after that, and attempting to use my log in sent me to the account she'd made using my yahoo as the email.

Which was then furthered by the fact that we would use eachother's emails for stuff pretty frequently.

Like if we wanted a free trial for a streaming service because there was a show on there we wanted to watch, if my sister didn't have a random email that could be used (she has so many email addresses nowadays, I don't know how she keeps track of them) we'll just use mine.

Or using each other's email addresses as recovery emails.

Where this random 3rd women comes in I'm not sure, but it's her email address that's currently listed on this dossier, which would explain why I don't get spam emails at all.

There are various stuff like my old facebook account that I've been locked out of since the early 2010s and the third person could have just stolen.

So the 3rd woman could be an attempted identity thief who got screwed over by the internet thinking I am but already someone else's false identity.

[imminentinertia]

Thank you for your cooler heads prevail addition to the The Sign discourse. I live in the US and I know everyone here pays for streaming or cable to enjoy their shows. And we can view them as long as we continue to subscribe but we don't get to keep them either. At least The Sign has been free up until now so I see no problem paying the cost of 1 month US dollars of a streaming service. It is kind of like paying for the whole experience so far in my opinion. I too am holding out though until I know about the English subtitles availability. I just wanted to thank you for being practical, it seems like everyone has been upset at this show lately and I am getting frustrated at the negativity of social media lately. I am excited to see what Phaya and Tharn do to get their Happy Ending!

Hello anon! Thank you for this ask <3

It does my head in a bit that of all things where we run into a culture clash it's ... cinema streaming? I watch films/shorts/documentaries like this from home cinema services pretty often - the viewing window is usually 24 or 48 hours, you don't keep the file, it's nearly the same transaction as going to a physical cinema. And we certainly don't get to keep shit from any non-time limited streaming services, as you say.

I've also seen mistrust in Thai Ticket Major and I don't get it. I have a few stories about buying concert tickets abroad from actually seedy sites, TTM isn't one. They've been in business for many years and TTM is a Ticketmaster company now, finding out about them only takes about ten seconds of looking for the information. Which I did, the first time I bought a ticket from them.

I don't really get being upset with the show either, but I rarely get upset, mostly I meh and move on when something isn't pleasing me anymore. Granted, episode 11 wasn't brimming with action and emotion like the previous ones, but there was some splendid tension and action even when it was less than it usually is (oh and who else is curious about how Chalothon seems unable to shift into naga form now?). Also they gave us the truly amazing artist episode. And and and... So I'd like discussion of what the stronger/weaker points in it are once it's finished and why one sees them as stronger or weaker, but I think I'll stick to chats for that.

I suppose I'll do what I always do when people get disgruntled and I can't see how we're watching the same show, filter the tags. It would be great if non-fans could stop using fan tags, generally speaking, which is one reason why I prefer following Good People (who I sometimes disagree with) instead of trawling tags.

By the way, I want to give Idol Factory my money. I think they make somewhat uneven but very watch-worthy shows, mostly, and I very much like to pay for the creative works I get to enjoy.

If you want a natter about The Sign, by all means come off anon and DM me, I'm mostly friendly :)

ETA a day later after I'd checked TTM again because I started doubting myself: I can get annoyance with a narrow viewing window, though. That's a notch closer to physical cinema experience than cinema streaming usually offers.

[yuuana]

Music Monday #228: VICTON - Virus release: November 2022 genre: Kpop cw: intermittent bright flashing

Yeah, I know, I've been saying I'd feature this MV for how many weeks now? Several. Like, all month. And it was supposed to come up here even before that and then didn't because reasons of my health being complete shithouse for months now. But I am determined, dangnabit! And have some things to say.

Let's just say VICTON has been Going Through It over the last couple of years. Debuting in November 2016 as a seven member unit on Plan A (later Play M) Ent, VICTON has been on a steady if not very flashy progression, releasing several singles and EPs and one OST before finally putting out a full album in 2021, then changing companies to IST in 2022. It could have been a promising new phase - IST is among the more successful of the small labels - but between Chan's DUI investigation last September (and subsequent departure from the group) and then Subin, Hanse, and Byungchan being unable to come to satisfactory contract terms this past April (due to military service requirements, Seungsik, Seungwoo, and Sejun are still on their original contracts), there's a very real chance that we've hit the end of the road. There hasn't been an official disbandment notice, but it wouldn't be unprecedented for a group to have a silent disbanding. On the other hand, the industry also has yet to pull out a success with a group whose members are signed across different labels1, so while I'm still clinging to hope as an ALICE, I know that hope is quite thin indeed.

Getting back to the song itself, Virus isn't really fast enough to be called a proper dance beat while at the same time having too many EDM elements to be properly called a ballad either. The use of flanging on the members' voices works for me, but makes this a somewhat atypical track for a group whose fandom name is an "acronym" for Always We Love the Voice. XD The rest of the EP is more straightforwardly melodic while still being in that space between dance and ballad.

Maybe because of what happened in the two months ahead of its release, the video carries a certain melancholy feel to it that may or may not actually be warranted? This also only has the five members in it which, given the usual production cycle, makes me wonder if they weren't made to take an afternoon to redo the group scenes and then the whole thing re-edited to remove Chan's participation in it. My ear isn't tuned enough to tell if they re-recorded the EP as well - I suspect not, because that could have been a potentially huge expense, depending on where in the cycle they were when he was dismissed, but I really couldn't say.

Seungwoo (who was not part of this EP) has completed his service, but Seungsik and Sejun have only just started theirs (enlistments in March and June of this year, respectively). Given the contract issue and the low level expectation that Hanse and Byungchan will start their manditory service terms next year, if they are still able to work together, another comeback is likely to be some time off yet.

"Choice" is out now wherever you like to do your Kpop streaming and likely still available for physical purchase as well. If that EP tickles your fancy, I recommend giving the rest of their discography a try as well.

1. yes, I know there are groups doing the still-together-across-labels thing, but GOT7 has done one release this way and no one else has been doing it long enough to be called a success yet, so I stand by this claim.

Want to see Music Monday deep dives more often? Sponsor a song selection! For the low, low price of one (1) KoFi, I'll write up the song of your choice. ANY song of your choice. Yes, even that one that's been played to death. Yes, your obscure faves too. With sponsors, I can stop skipping weeks and falling further and further behind in the releases! Sponsor a current CB for the next open Music Monday slot or sponsor a throwback for a Thursday feature! But seriously, if you've been enjoying my selections and analyses, we (me and the foster kittens) would love a KoFi in thanks. DW | Twitter | Mastodon | Ko-fi | Patreon | Discord | Twitch

[autumntri]

personal blog, 12/20/2022

well friends, today i have purged my current media library and i am now restarting it with high quality rips. (!)

for my personal media library, im orienting it towards higher quality media. FLACs instead of MP3 files for music, MKV instead of MP4 files for media, generally because these formats are more lossless and in a way, its kind of an investment in the future. i dont really have the best tech currently because of certain life circumstances but Soon, yk?

for those of us that like going the legal route, ripping blu rays with a blu ray rewritable drive and makeMKV make it very simple to reproduce your library. right now, im currently making rips from discs that i find at the library and torrenting when i eventually get a p2p VPN service, collecting my torrents and creating a "download query." this paragraph is a joke btw.

of course, what they dont tell you when you start doing this is just the monetary investment that will eventually be required at some point down the line and this includes paying for software, ironically i dont actually want to get cracks for software that im using to create blu-ray rips but as far as i can tell, i cant figure a way to do that for free. with blu-rays atleast.

if there are any cool FOSS people reading, please lmk how you figured out how to break BD+ copy protection. this is what im currently stumped on.

this is just the beginning. ive got around 4tb (not pictured) to fill with all sorts of media for offline consumption, so far most of my media is in video games that i can play on emulators, of which i have 709gb currently dedicated to, with 688gb left to go. roughly 5000+ games, most of these being classic game ROMs but a few hundred consist of 'modern' titles as well.

i just generally dont like how "web-based" everything has become. i dont feel like any of my media is secure in the cloud, especially if i have to pay for access to it. we're seeing in real time what is happening to people that either sold their physical media for quick money or never felt the need to build up a collection at all, how now that streaming services are becoming exorbitant, they have very little they can actually consume now. this isn't to say consumption is everything but also, i feel salty about it too. these people hoped for something long lasting and cheap, meanwhile for myself when i finally got a job at 16 and was able to actually afford streaming services, i slowly started seeing all of them go to shit and not even be worth the price of admission.

its demoralizing when you consider that in order to engage in conversation with anyone these days, you have to watch the TV shows they watch and if you cant watch them for whatever reason, theres no reason people want to talk to you. people socialize around media and i think its because of that, piracy is absolutely justified.

because what else are you supposed to do to form human relationships anymore? in america atleast, we live in a culture of hyper consumption and if youre not in it, youre not part of the culture. i think the paradigm sucks currently.

i was also priced out of building a DVD/blu-ray collection for years, streaming services *were* the cheap alternative, but now that this is also gone, i cant help but resort to piracy or other means of keeping and holding on to media for a long period of time.

in my next blog, i will hopefully talk about an ubuntu+plex server setup i am currently figuring out. that blog won't be up until ive had it running on bare metal for a while

[arabellaflynn]

Holiday Housekeeping!

Hello all! The year is drawing to a close. FINALLY. I have good news and bad news, as usual.

The bad news is that my last steady gig sent me an email this morning telling me they won't be needing me after Thanksgiving. I am beyond pissed. Not at the lack of work; they essentially provide support services for ongoing events, so if there are no events, there's nothing to give me, and they have no control over that. What I'm pissed about is that these clients are supposed to be signing contracts for a fixed period of time/number of events, but they're letting people alter or cancel their contracts with basically no notice, and no penalty. They book me for a thing, I block off those dates and budget accordingly, then whoops! Event vanishes halfway through.

I was already looking for another job, but I guess now I have more free time to do it in. 

The good news is that I have some grant applications in process right now, and will almost certainly get one of them. The Mass Cultural Council offered recovery grants, with no strings attached -- the entire application was pretty much, "Are you an artist? Do you live in MA? Would you like some money?" Everything else is more merit-based and has to go through panels and committees first, but there is no Earthly reason that MCC would not award me that grant, so there is a good chance I will be getting $5000 somewhere in January. I realize this is not a huge amount of money to most people, but that's about six months' living expenses for me.

Unfortunately, January is still a ways away, so my Christmas list, for the third year in a row, is basically just "survival". Money is most useful and goes here or here. I do realize that you guys are here for entertainment, and "blogger pays rent!" is not very fun to read, but my Amazon Wish List is not much better. Mostly I wish someone would magically mail me shampoo and socks so that I don't have to worry about buying them. I did turn on the option that lets you ship other things along with Wish List items, so if anyone is dying to send me candy, have at.

If you wish to send the rats some holiday gifts... well, I don't blame you, they are almost criminally cute. Their Wish List is here. I put the kibosh on the 50 lb wheel of parmesan cheese, but it does include a lot of snacks, cuddly cage blankets, and the little hanging baskets they have so much fun with. You can also ship them random things, but please bear in mind that cage furnishings have to be either disposable, or made of something that is bleachable/boilable. Wood and other porous material will quickly become suffused with, shall we say, 'essence of rat' and will never be clean again. Rats, like dogs, are adorably disgusting.

Ratsgiving and Ratmas are not being canceled; they go up on Patreon, and are therefore work expenses. Plus it will force me to eat something other than beans and rice for a bit. I already bought most of the decorations before the bad news hit, anyway. I'm also running a promotion where anyone signed up to either this Patreon or my art/dance one by December 15th for $5 or more will get a Ratmas e-card, and $20 or more will be getting a physical Ratmas card, so keep an eye out for that.

I've tried to make the past few Advent Calendars more community-minded but this year I'm saying fuck it, I'm just going to spend a month writing about something I enjoy contemplating. Probably history of media/video games. I might also take another stab at streaming. I won't be on camera this time; the only private space I'd have to stream is in my bedroom, which is nowhere near big enough for a set, and unfortunately the gaming setup and the facecam setup in here are mutually exclusive. A Let's Play style stream with me on headset is the best I can do.

I'm just really tired, you guys. I want 2023 to be better.

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[batfam-rewrites]

Batfam During Quarantine: Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Dick: Nooooooooo!!!!

Barbara: What’s wrong, boy wonder?

Dick: Brooklyn Nine-Nine leaves Hulu in 7 days!

Tim: Oh, so nothing serious!

Dick: *grabs Tim* I will skin your body, Timmy!

Tim: You are obsessed with that show! That isn’t even a super memorable reference!

Barbara: I don’t think that was supposed to be reference.

Dick: It was unintentional, but I am devastated and I will hurt you. My mornings are fucking ruined!!!!!

Jason: You realize that the show is also on Peacock, right?

Dick: *looks at Jason* That’s an additional streaming service Jason!!! I can’t afford that!!!

Tim: *pulls up his phone* Yes you can, it’s pretty cheap. There’s a free option that’s shit, premium which is okay, and premium plus that is just premium without ads.

Dick: *looks at Tim* Are we in a fucking ad?

Tim: No, just saying you’re making a big deal over nothing. Like always!

Dick: *throws Tim across the room* No! You’re making a big deal over nothing! My mornings are fucking ruined! This is more devastating than any break up I’ve ever been through!!!!

Barbara: I don’t know if I should be offended or relieved right now.

Bruce: Just use my account Dick.

Dick: YES!!!! Thank you Brucie!!!

In case it isn’t clear, this is just a self insert. Unlike Dick, I do not have the money to afford Peacock as a streaming service or someone else’s account that I can use so my mornings are now officially ruined because I enjoy an episode every morning as it makes me laugh and also kinda prepares me for working with a bunch of little kids because of how silly the show is. I am also willing to bet that once this show leaves Hulu in 7 days it might actually hurt more than the break up that I just went through and I’m still trying to get over. I’m mainly posting this on here just because I needed to get this out of my system but I do hope that some of you do enjoy this! Looking this over it kinda looks like a “send me money thing” but it’s not, just a tiny rant.