#and like the vibes about Manderley

[tenrose]

I'm reading Rebecca for the first time, and ignoring the obvious gothic inspiration, psychological thriller (which I'm way too early in the book to comment on), from the very first chapter, the style of narration vividly reminds me of The Haunting series.

[wellntruly]

M*A*S*H (not that one)

I went to Manderley again--rewatched the Altman M*A*S*H. Completely worrying pattern, being nearly exactly one year after the first time I saw it. If I end up watching M*A*S*H (1970) in the last weeks of August every year that’s going to wind me up on some sort of list. By women. And they’ll be right.

I hadn’t known at first, but the eventual realization was as inevitable as anything in the movie, a sort of regrettable slide of “no, I’m gonna.” Why does anyone do the things they do in M*A*S*H. Why does anyone do M*A*S*H. Both of these questions don’t have question marks because it’s just already happening.

There are some attenuating circumstances, sure. War, weather, Robert Altman, a friend, a kind of numb seeking for the sword of time that will pierce your skin. Elliott Gould, probably, also. 

If you embark on a Hot ‘70s Summer, you don’t actually leave it. Winter just falls, and you go into that mode of the ‘70s, bundling up in inadequate materials against the cold, and still somehow, feel cozy. But before that turn, those still, hot weeks hanging hazy at the top of the year, the most Hot ‘70s Summer, 1970, the most ‘70 movie to ever exist: Robert Altman’s M*A*S*H. 

I was an hour and thirty minutes into it before I remembered with a little twitch that at some point, in the beginning, this was set in the 1950s. Hilarious to recall. Maybe it’s the 1950s in Richard Hooker’s book about his time in a Korean War field hospital, also titled M*A*S*H; I do not know. I simply know it is not the 1950s here, it is well 1969 precisely, at filming, and America has just achieved its dismal high water mark for the number of troops currently deployed in Vietnam. This is Vietnam. It’s not Korea, it’s not Japan, it’s the crest of the Vietnam War in a mountain park in California, and a nation knew that immediately, knew that with everything they had, which was mostly nihilism. 

M*A*S*H (1970) dir. Robert Altman is probably the most historically specific film object I have ever seen. You cannot navigate, valuably, anything this movie is doing outwith its historical and cultural context. Some works of art are timeless, and on the other end there is M*A*S*H, made OF time, yanked out of the fabric of it with film cameras rolling and a sound mix that says: all of it, and that act winds up changing what will happen--historically, culturally--as time continues on.

M*A*S*H is its time. It meets America head-on, and leers. It’s not that it breaks something in the culture, it just reflects back something that was already broken, the people already scarring over. M*A*S*H only works if you’re watching it knowing that. Not to be didactic. Something the movie resolutely refuses to be, at any moment, which causes audiences today, removed from the milieu, to question, alarmed, do they know? Do they know that they're awful? Oh yes. Do they also take delight in their being awful? Oho yes. We are all broken. :).

The tagline of this movie, still on a lot of the posters you’ll see, was “M*A*S*H gives a D*A*M*N.” This is so curious to me. It is either a straight up lie, or a key. This would appear a movie predominately peopled with characters who seem, in kind of post-modern incongruity with their surroundings, almost implacably non-committal. Removed, irreverent, careless. Sure it turns callous, sure in trying to deflect the stupid brutality of war they often just end up turning brutal stupidity onto others. A catalog of non-definite acts, something to mask the desperation.

I think a lot about this one Chris Fleming video where he said something like, “ever since my parents grasped that a movie can still be good even if it doesn’t make you feel good, they’ve been going absolutely ham at the independent theater.” Realizing this really does open up your world, and also gets you on lists (I deserve to be there!!). This is how lightly sweating in a slowly turning fan at the end of summer you think, mm, gonna watch M*A*S*H… 

Why? Vibes. But the vibes are bad. Yeah I know. But they’re also….I think the phrase I used in a message to the friend I first watched this movie with, as soon as those opening credits started playing over me again, was “badly enchanting.” There’s something about the way it looks, the way it sounds. Khaki-colored sunlight and dirt and those Japanese covers of old standards playing through a PA system. That Altman calling card layered up dialogue where they somehow arrange it just-so so that you still hear the parts you’re supposed to, god.

This is how you end up saying, oh this movie is not like, a nice time, I occasionally quite dislike the sensation of watching it, and yet also, sometimes it's just what I want to watch. I don’t know, it’s AltM*A*S*H. One minute I’m thinking, incredible that you thought this was funny, and then the next I’m like, you are the only people who understand this particular thing I think is funny. Primarily in that though it’s three things: 1. unhinged heavily metatextual opening and closing pacing & especially this narrating voice at the end just being like “welp, that was that” and rapidly rehashing clips of the cast at ever increasing speed, 2. two Bud Cort moments, 3. GaryBurghoffRadarO’Reilly.

This is the juncture where I get off actually, because if I keep going in this mode about the completely insane thing that somehow happened next, to M*A*S*H and to me, M*A*S*H (1972-1983), we'd be here 10 years and I would die, whichever comes first.

But I will tell you one thing! Just one thing!!! If I’m in what, 1972, much like I was 2022, and they’re like, there’s gonna be a M*A*S*H TV show, and the one person who will be the same is that kid Radar, I’m like oh, of course, the most character who can travel between worlds performance of all time.

[scorchedthesnake]

May 24, 2012

May Fair was a date that changed everything. We turned up to the show, dressed in virginal white, and chased our favorites through the halls of the hotel as usual, unaware of what had been planned. First, we exited to Manderley and the Lobby, where cast members (and additional hired performers) began to circulate in gold body paint and floral costume. Jeffery Lyons and Zach McNally beckoned us to eat grapes off their bodies. The libations, as the place still insists on calling them, flowed profusely. Probably too profusely. By the time we were invited back down to the ballroom, the atmosphere was already charged, horny and aggressive. To be clear, those weren’t and aren’t complaints, but I am trying to take a fair and accurate stock of the impact this party had.

At the time, there were few to no boundaries between some of the cast and crew and the community of fans and regulars that had gotten to know them. We were familiar faces adjacent to the celebrity guests and the increasing throngs of tourist visitors – sometimes that was a comfort, sometimes we were the more awkward ones. All of us had a combination of real relationships to the show and its people and imagined relationships to the same.

In the ballroom, Pigpen was playing (Careena Melia’s brother was in the band, and the folk-pastoral vibe they had was perfect). A May Pole had been set up in the center of the ballroom and on the ground we found green grass - a sod floor had been put down. This began to explain further the invitation to wear all white. Cast performed a series of (tame) May Pole dances and rituals, cute and with a palpably increasing amount of suggestive thrust and throb. This all went on until culminating in a blood sacrifice (the real reason for wearing white) and the party truly started.

Like I said, we were all really drunk. There’s a photo from the official press packet that shows the ballroom not long after that moment - most cast were done for the evening and reappeared in regular white clothing to join in the revelry.

You can see some of us here: Alex Mandell, Zach McNally, and that’s the side of Paul Zivkovich’s head by the bannister. Me, I’m next to Paul, blocked by the bannister. And I was at that moment making out with some hot random boy. That went on for a while and then he moved on, and Paul leaned over and said, “you know that’s the new Boy Witch, right?” No, I had not known that and would not meet him properly until about a month later, deeply embarrassed for what are by now very obvious reasons.

Elsewhere in the building, other entertaining drama was emerging. The Kissing Booth, which you’ve seen teased at many parties ever since, as “back in 5 minutes,” was a real thing at original May Fair. I didn’t go and I don’t know why it animated so many people but my understanding was that there was some kiss-swapping going on and people were lined up for the possibility of locking lips with William Popp. Again, I wasn’t there, so I only know what people told me second hand. Understandably that felt a little manipulative, which was the point.

May Fair was great. May Fair marked a major vibe shift, however, in the emerging fan community. As I think back on it, up until that point we all had our own individual sense of an intimate relationship to the show. It wasn’t until May Fair came along that everyone had the opportunity to compare the intimacy of their relationship to the show to that of everyone else, and the results were obviously destablizing. There hadn’t been a lot of space for jealousies and envies to grow, but now there was. There hadn’t been many opportunities for fans to gather and pass much judgment on the perceived and real behaviors of other fans, but as of May Fair, it was something everyone could get engaged in. I don’t think there’s a finger to point for it; I think this is a natural process in the formation of any kind of community, when it first sunders into its subgroups and cliques. Lines were drawn, naturally, as different personalities grouped together out of mutual interest or mutual disinterest. No idyll lasts forever, and the virgin peace of our Tumblrverse was spoiled with grass stains and blood, lots of spilled liquor, and a photo booth that showed who was there for whom.

The photo booth has been a pretty regular feature at McKittrick parties ever since, but this one really let people showcase their cast relations. This wasn’t just parasocial attachment: it was real. We had – across our community – built a wide range of real relationships with people in the show. It was genuinely celebratory, but in retrospect, capturing those relations in photography was the first sign that, well, maybe some boundaries would in fact be useful. But we couldn’t have known how bizarre this all was; it was new to everyone. And the entire joy of the show had been in breaking us out of digitally mediated experience and reminding us of the tactile and real. It felt like a part of that journey to revel and celebrate and love, together.

Here are two of my May Fair photo booth favorites. In the first – Sai Somboon and his then-new boyfriend Matt on the far left – they are now married. And there’s me and Chelsea, and Careena, Nick and Elizabeth, Zach, and Kat Freeman. 

And the second – one of my very favorite photos in all my life – Careena and Paul, and the sparkling bedazzled mask Jonathan Martin had given me. These images, as I look back at them, are full of easter eggs and portents of things to come. This entire memory of that night is full of those. Nothing was ever the same again after May Fair.

[partyinthemysterymachine]

Manderley/Lakeview Hotel

Lakeview Hotel/Overlook Hotel

but never Overlook Hotel/Manderley bc Manderley is a lesbian we all know this and the Lakeview? bi rights. Overlook is chaos bi but leans heavier on the masculine energies u feel and Lakeview got the good shit, fellas

[neednottoneed]

if it wouldnt take too long how would you personally rank the songs in rebecca? :)

OOH here we go!!!

Songs automatically at the bottom:

Frank's song (unnecessary)

All 3 of Ben's 'Sie's fort' (only one was necessary)

Eine Hand Wäscht die andere Hand (Favell's song)

Ensemble songs like Petit Dejeuner

Ranking (Last to first)

- Die stärke einer Frau (just,,, not my fave and feels weird in context)

- Sie War Gelohnt, Gelibt Zu Werden - Love Danny being gay in this song but Favell... meh

- Zauberhaft Natürlich - honestly I get bored during this song.

- Ich habe geträumt von Manderley - great beautiful opener but like, not as memorable as the rest.

- Du wirst niemals eine Lady - fun times, love van Hopper

- I'm an American Woman - likewise not super necessary but a fun time.

- Gott Warum - this song slaps but is not my fave of Maxim's

- Was ist nur los mit ihm - honestly this song bores me but Kerstin's voice is lovely

- Und das und das und das - I think this is a fun song for Ich and I love the implication of her confessing things only for Danny to be listening.

- Mrs de Winter bin ich! - gives me What is this Feeling vibes, a fun time if both Ich and Danny can belt and are almost trying to outsing each other.

- Zeit in einer Flasche - not a super super memorable song but it's beautiful for the Ichs (plus I love singing it)

- Rebecca (1) / Finale Erster Akt - ranking these together because I love them (so gay) and I love the key of the Act 1 finale with Danny triumphant on the stairs (in the Stuttgart version)

- Kein Lächeln War Nie so Kalt - look regardless of how I feel about Maxim as a character this song SLAPS.

- Sie ergibt sich nicht - it's beautiful it's melancholy the melody resonates throughout most of the show it's GAY we stan

- Rebecca (Reprise) - Stunning, gorgeous, showstopping, LOVE a belt on it, love the gay Korean versions and Pia's unhinged terror and belt in Stuttgart

- Ich hör dich singen - I mean COME ON "Ich liebte sie doch sie hat mich verratteeeeeeeeen" give Pia a Tony award for that alone.

[belizedeservesbetter]

one year ago today (March 11th) I saw my very last piece of theatre and it was Sleep No More (which I’ve seen many times and am continuously drawn back to again and again) and for a place I always felt so safe and comforted in it was the very first time it felt kind of dangerous. you could almost feel the fear in the air whenever anyone coughed. The vibe of the show was different than it normally was and you could definitely tell something was up but I’ll always cherish those last dances I had with Sexy Witch and Boy Witch and 1:1s I had with the Porter and Sexy Witch 

and it’s the 10 year anniversary of the show too, which makes me a lot sadder than I thought I’d be 

so here’s to all the Boy Witches I slow danced in the dark with 

here’s to all the characters who took my hand at the end of the show and led me to the Manderley Bar and kissed my cheek 

here’s to all the Porters who pressed a ring into my hand and held me close

here’s to all the Lady Macduffs who pushed salt behind my ear and told me how they prayed for me when I was younger

to all the Speakeasy Bartenders I shared shots of cheap whiskey with 

to all the Malcolms who crushed dust filled eggs in the palm of my hand

to the Banquo who moved me to tears with his beautiful 1:1

and to The Cunning Man from my very first Sleep No More who caught my attention more than anyone else and held me during the finale and afterwards told me to remember him always. i know i always will. 

and of course to everyone who makes The McKittrick Hotel what it is - I miss the hotel every day 

I do not know if a show like Sleep No More will exist when this has all ended but every time I went always it always moved me and changed me and made me believe in theatre again. it was a show that held onto you (oftentimes literally) and never let go

and at the end of the day I always thought Sleep No More was really about intimacy and connection. it was about characters looking for some way to cure their deep deep sadness and finding some reprieve in the small moments of connecting with ours, or connecting with loved ones. it was the ones who couldn’t do this who ultimately fell apart 

I suppose it’s fitting that a show about physical touch and closeness was the last show I experienced before everything shut down because both things became dangerous 

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

rebecca (2020) thoughts:

so, i was sort of like, “okay, that wasn’t spectacular, but it was better than i expected,” but then that last scene happened, and i just hated it so much that it definitely soured the whole experience for me. no! no!!!!!! THAT AIN’T IT. they’re supposed to be pining after manderley forever and being LOSERS! ugh. When Men Tell Stories In Ways They Think Are Empowering For Women, in a nutshell. :| give me the au where they were sitting at a boring breakfast table listening to their english radio and reading their english papers and, like, that folksy bop version of let no man steal your thyme pops up again while mrs. dw2 stares at her husband in listless boredom that she cannot quite allow herself to admit, because he was WORTH IT! he was WORTH IT, wasn’t he?? (no.) i know her love for him remains pretty constant (yikes, girl), but i feel like there needed to be more of a tinge of sort of pitiful bittersweetness to where they and she wound up.

although, having just seen a gif from that scene: i wonder if it was specifically trying to imply that mrs. dw2 had finally reached the state where, like, she IS rebecca and glorying in her rebecca-style power? the hedonistic way she smokes the cigarette and Takes Her Man just feels like SUCH a different character beat for her that it genuinely feels like she is kind of possessed by rebecca, or finally got what she has REALLY longed and lusted for, which isn’t maxim so much as ... being rebecca, and all the power that comes with it. i don’t think the voiceover does anything to feed into this, though. but i’m gonna believe it, for my own peace of mind.

i enjoyed lily james’s performance -- i think she captured the all-consuming anxiety of the narrator better than i expected a performer as sunny as she usually is to -- and kristin scott thomas was pretty entrancing, and i thought their scenes together were probably the highlight for me. i really liked how they very occasionally had those weird flickers of affinity (BECAUSE THEY ARE SAME! see a few bullets below), and the almost romantic meet-cute energy of the first time they saw each other was real striking. just, like, a lot of good weird vibes that i would’ve liked to see dug into even more.

oh! and ann dowd was very fun too! somebody write me the au where a disgraced danvers has to go be mrs. van hopper’s new companion. i think they would be an enemies-to-lovers otp for the ages.

i had this moment of, like, “damn, this really is such a horror story from danvers’ point of view, where maxim straight up got away with murdering rebecca and she can just never see him answer for it because he’s a rich man with a new wife who’s basically his own danvers who will do anything for him.” that sucks!!!!!!!

also, i JUST made the connection that the narrator is basically maxim’s danvers (i.e. a ride-or-die beeyatch to the point where it’s frankly disturbing and could use some serious therapy). just now! right now! so at least i guess this movie gave me something.

i kinda liked how rebecca’s rooms were all done up in that seafoam blue; it was a really unusual design choice, but i thought it was pretty striking, and tied into rebecca and mrs. danvers both winding up in the sea.

during that scene where jack confronted maxim about rebecca at manderley, i was like, “damn! i would have loved for sam riley to play maxim!” i think he really could’ve conveyed that frosty very english inaccessible quality with flashes of charm, and i just think that actor is neat generally and i’m happy whenever he pops up in something. (ppz darcy forevs!) having maxim as a dashing g.i. joe-lookin’ dude was just weird. like, he was okay i guess, and maxim isn’t really that interesting in this story in general, but something felt so off about him being such an american-looking hunk of human man?? i think it works a little better when it’s not even really clearly apparent why the narrator is so hung up on him, apart from the fact that he symbolizes this life that would otherwise be totally inaccessible to her, and HE’S PAYING ATTENTION TO HER.

LOUISA DURRELL WAS THERE AND I WAS SO HAPPY TO GAZE UPON HER JOY-BRINGING LOUISA DURRELL-Y FACE!!!!!!!!! i know keeley hawes is an actress with many credits to her name, but i’m going to need to see her solely as louisa durrell for about the next five years at least, just for personal happiness reasons. oh my god, i need to watch the durrells again.

and i guess that’s my ultimate takeaway from this movie.

i will forever pine for the version of it that was directed by a woman. ALAS! i just feel like women Get this story in a primal way, and i would love to see the way it would be depicted from a female gaze perspective. maybe in another 30-40 years??????? D:

[orangistae]

Disappointed though not surprised to hear that the new Rebecca is bad and apparently misses the point of the story, but it has gotten me thinking about what a good modern adaptation would look like, so allow me to share my ideal version:

Jude Law and Saoirse Ronan in the lead roles. Law is a touch too old at this point, but too old is preferable to too young in this case, and I can’t think of anyone else in the right age bracket who can do handsome and charming/cold and menacing as well as he can. Ronan usually plays more spirited characters, but she’s also very good at doing meek (see the first section of Brooklyn) and is relatively plain-looking by Hollywood standards, making it clear that it’s not the usual thing of a middle-aged man following his dick and falling for a hot 20yo; Maxim specifically wants someone he can control, without too much pesky self-confidence. Everyone meeting them should be like, ‘Her?’ and she should absolutely notice, while getting zero reassurance from Maxim.

Helen McCrory as Mrs Danvers (a bit more human and less chilly than previous incarnations, lashing out because of her own grief, with her devotion to Rebecca played ambiguously as a mixture of maternal and romantic), and Tom Burke as Favell (handsome in a louche way, thinks he’s smarter than he is, should give the impression that Rebecca walked all over him and that that was his main attraction for her, sort of a Cersei/Jaime vibe).

Highlight the feminist themes not by making Mrs de Winter a plucky heroine but by playing up the toxicity of the central romance, just a solid two hours about the horrors of patriarchy (and the class system). The audience should feel uncomfortable whenever Maxim and Mrs de Winter kiss or she gazes adoringly at him or whatever, and not be shocked when it’s revealed that he’s a murderer. Rebecca should come off as relatable if not downright sympathetic, and Mrs de Winter as dangerously deluded for still being in love with a guy who’s so obviously an abusive asshole.

The audience should realise at some point that Favell, despite being kind of insufferable, is basically the good guy, and really feel for him when he realises that Maxim murdered the woman he loved and there’s nothing he can do about it. The burning of Manderley should play as divine retribution, and the ending should have that unsettled The Graduate air of ‘is this actually a happy ending though?’ The Hitchcock version didn’t exactly pull any punches wrt Maxim’s dickishness, but between the censorship and Olivier’s personal appeal, I think it’s still too easy to read that romance as aspirational, so there’s definitely room to go further.

Ideally it should have a female director, but I can’t think of any who quite fit the bill. The one who keeps coming to my mind instead is David Fincher, who doesn’t have the stylistic flair that I’d like, but is an expert at both psychological thrillers and toxic masculinity. Plus, I enjoy the parallels with Gone Girl, and it’d be a neat way to help the audience picture Rebecca without having to show her onscreen.

Anyway, I’m not really sure what the point was of writing this up, but I’ve spent too much time and energy thinking about it to keep it all inside my head, so tumblr, here you go.

ETA: upon further consideration, I’ve decided to go with Mary Harron as the director of this imaginary project. I’d forgotten/not realised that she directed Alias Grace, and between that and American Psycho, she’s obviously got an excellent understanding of and ability to portray the necessary dynamics and ambiguities. She also gets great performances from her actors, and something similar to the sombre visual style of Alias Grace would be far more suitable for Rebecca than the Instagram-friendly vibe of Wheatley’s version. I’m still fuming over the fact that Netflix handed the project to someone who clearly doesn’t understand and/or care about the story when there are so many better and more passionate directors struggling to get anything made at all.

[alexsfictionaddiction]

Review: Madam by Phoebe Wynne

Throw a wedge of dark academia my way and I will thank you profusely. I was very excited about this debut novel set in a prestigious, girls’ boarding school and despite some not great Goodreads reviews, I completely ate it up.

Caldonbrae Hall has sat high on a Scottish cliff for 150 years and it very rarely recruits new staff from the outside. So, imagine Rose Christie’s surprise when she is offered the position of Classics professor at the elusive institution. But almost as soon as she arrives, Rose learns that there are plenty of buried secrets hidden within the walls of Caldonbrae and it’s time they were uncovered...

Right away, we’re introduced to the exclusive and prestigiousness that comes with Caldonbrae Hall. The book opens with a letter addressed to the previous Classics mistress, dismissing her with some very vague, intriguing clues as to the reason. This perhaps wasn’t completely necessary to the overall plot but it certainly set Caldonbrae up to be a place of mystery, before we or Rose were even there.

On Rose’s arrival, she is very much left to her own devices, which was definitely very strange. The school itself is very much your typical brooding, Gothic monster, perched alone on a cliff with a view of the tumultuous Scottish coast. In some ways, it very much took on a personality of its own -much like Manderley and Wuthering Heights. As Rose wandered the grounds on her own, I could certainly feel the ghosts and energy of the past watching her. This same Gothic vibe didn’t quite continue throughout the narrative with the same level of creep that it started with. However by then, my attention was on other aspects, so I didn’t really notice it until the end.

Rose is passionate about her subject and I learnt a lot about Greek and Roman mythology. Caldonbrae is propped up by a deep love of tradition and this is something that is firmly instilled in its students. Life at Caldonbrae runs on conforming to what society expects of young women and its students have no problem doing exactly this. The fact that Rose is a young feminist with new ideas puts her in danger and certainly makes her stand out within the faculty. The more I read, the more I realised that at Caldonbrae, humans really haven’t changed very much since the age of antiquity at all. 

There is a shortened version of several Greek and Roman myths within the narrative and I really enjoyed the stories I didn’t know. Rose encourages her students to think about the treatment of women in these stories and she seems to have the biggest success with a trio of girls in her Fourth year class. Daisy, Freddie and Nessa are bright 14-year-olds who ask questions and seem to be re-considering the way of life that Caldonbrae prepares its girls for. When the school appears to try to take hold and reel them back under its spell, Rose becomes determined to tug them back and protect them.

The true intentions of Caldonbrae Hall become clear about halfway through the book and although it’s not a completely grotesque truth, it is an alarming one. These girls have been brainwashed into believing that marriage and motherhood are their only options in life, which is a tragic thought but it’s a belief that we know was true for many women for hundreds of years. I think the fact that Madam takes place in 1992, not 1892, adds to the horror but it’s not chilling -it’s just sad and worrying. I can understand the argument that the time period makes it seem unbelievable. I agree with the fact that this book could easily be set in the 19th century and I think you could pretend that it is, if you wanted to get better invested. Perhaps the year of 1992 could have been established a little more -maybe more talk of VHS and Walkmans or even earlier mobile phones would have given it a more fleshed-out setting.

Madam is a an addictive, dark read with a feminist message to convey. There were plenty of unlikeable characters who I was desperate to see get their comeuppance and I met some fascinating ancient women whose stories I didn’t know before. There was a twist that I didn’t see coming that left me thoroughly disappointed in one particular character, so the book definitely sparked all kinds of feels for me. I couldn’t figure out how it was all going to end and I think that may have been why I couldn’t put it down. It doesn’t really maintain the true Gothic vibe throughout but it is a thrilling, gloomy read with a very Shirley Jackson-esque ending.

Madam by Phoebe Wynne is available in eBook and audiobook format now and will be published in hardback by Quercus Publishing on 13th May 2021.

[omgreading]

I made it past where I was before. It turns out I was only about 40 pages in previously instead of 60, or I like forgot those last 20 pages altogether.

I am enjoying it so much. Our unnamed protagonist is now the second Mrs. De Winter and has just arrived at Manderley. Mrs. Danvers does not like her at all. She is already giving off vibes that Rebecca was the best person ever and also seems to imply that to the second Mrs. De Winter that her husband is keeping secrets by moving them to the other wing of the house. I could see him doing that so that the newlyweds were living somewhere else his wife didn’t.

I also wonder about Rebecca’s drowning. Was it an accident? Was it murder? Was it suicide? What kind of person was she? I look forward to continuing this. 

[coffintanz]

Rebecca book and musical comparison

Since getting into Tanz and the world of German musicals, I’ve been getting more interested in watching musicals that are very well-known in Austria and Germany. Rebecca is one of them. But this was a different case compared to all of the other musicals, this is because I wanted to read the book months before I ever found out that there was a musical. So I did that, today I finished reading the book and I watched a bootleg of the show right after. So here is my comparison of the two, click the “read more” option to read what I thought.

First off is my review of the book, this is copied directly from my review on Goodreads:

When I said that I was reading this book, multiple people said that they liked it very much and that I would probably love it, well, I didn't really. It was just an okay book. The amount of times that I wanted to DNF this book was quite high, this book is incredibly slow and not much happens. My edition had 428 pages, so to get through it was quite a chore. The only motivation that kept me reading is that I want to compare it to the Austrian musical Rebecca which is based on this book. Luckily when I got to the last 129 pages the book became much more interesting and I finished that part in 2 days. Just know if you want to read this book, you'll be reading this book for the sake of the last quarter, because the 75% that comes before that is not particularly interesting. Why did I still give this book 3 stars? Well, I didn't hate it. A lot could have been improved and the book is much too long for what it's trying to be. But on the other hand I didn't really have a problem with any other things, the writing was fine and the characters were okay. This is a forgettable book to me, I'm happy that I've read it for the sole reason that I am done with another book on the top 20 most gothic books challenge that I'm doing. About the gothic-ness, it isn't very gothic, there are some gothic elements in it, but I wouldn't say that this is a must-read if you like gothic literature.

Now you know my opinion about the book, I didn’t love it and I didn’t hate it. With regards to the musical, I watched the bootleg with Wietske van Tongeren and Uwe Kröger from 2008. I took some notes while watching it, which are the following:

It's basically a lot of the cast of Rudolf together again, Uwe, Wietske, the person who plays Mrs Van Hopper and Robert D Marx! (I know that Rebecca came before Rudolf, but I watched Rudolf first.) That whole fox around mrs van hopper's neck! Mrs Van Hopper shouldn't have been made that funny. Is the staircase gonna move again?! I get it now Raimund theatre, you like to rotate staircases. The musical really suffers from not being able to convey what manderley looks like because they've got a stage to deal with, the whole grandness of the house and the valley and the sea can't be portrayed here. Also I miss the dogs, but I get that they can't possibly put dogs on a stage. The way they pronounce the English names is not how I said them in my head, they use the more German interpretations of the names, they say Manderley, Maxim and Favell in ways that I wouldn't. They are really taking things quickly, there is already talk of which dress she should wear to the ball. No wonder that they have to make the story more quick-paced for the musical. The element of “Ich” being scared of Ms Danvers is not very apparent at all. The golf playing scene is not great... The set with the seaside shed is very good! It's a rip-off of masquerade! ;) Jus kidding. What does Ms Van Hopper do at the ball? She wasn't there in the book. Okay, the rotating wooden staircase during the ball is impressive. The most important part in this story is told in a song, which I don't think is a good approach, it just should have been said instead of sung. I tried to keep this spoiler free, but the house being on fire is really well done. Really? A falling chandelier? POTO vibes.

Finally, to get to the section of comparing the book and the musical, I think that the musical was not very good at getting some points from the book across, this has to do with it being on a stage (they can’t put a boat on a stage and I get that) but it also had to do with it being a musical, certain things were very hurried and I wonder if people in the audience who hadn’t read the book would understand everything 100% in the musical. Maybe it would have been better to me if it was a play instead, the songs didn’t do much to me, this probably has to do with Sylvester Levay who came up with the music, I don’t really like the music he makes for musicals. (Yes, I also don’t like the music in Elisabeth, unpopular opinion.) The only song from a musical that I like written by Sylvester Levay is Wie wird man seinen Schatten los from Mozart!

For the most part it is a true adaptation of the book, which is a good thing. But I’m sad to say that although the musical is better than the book, (the story didn’t drag as much as the book) I still don’t really like the musical. Maybe it’s because I just don’t love the story, so whether it’s done in a musical or book doesn’t influence my view of it. If you like the book I would recommend watching the musical. But I wouldn’t recommend reading the book if you like the musical because you will be a bit disappointed I think.

[anightingalesang]

SNM NYC impressions (2/2)

I forgot to mention one thing major about how SNM in NY differs from Shanghai - nudity. I never really thought of the necessity of nudity in the show until I finally saw scenes with it: Macbeth’s chaos and distraction in the rave was not *just* relate to the light and sound and what he has done, and the scene of Lady Macbeth covering her husband with sheet after wash off his blood gave me guilty relief like never before in Shanghai - I can give more examples, probably all scenes with nudity can give a more powerful impact on the emotion and the developing of storyline. It *matters*. Also, the hints of religion, witchcraft and death all can be bolder and clearer in New York, which I like a lot. 

So I guess I’m *very* lucky with the casts I got to see in my *very* limited shows, but nothing get more special than opening my adventure in the McKittrick with EJB’s Porter, in probably his best form I’ve ever seen. Anyone who knows me a bit would know that I love Porter as a character and I used to spend a lot of time with EJB in this role in Shanghai, so it was really a shocking moment to get into a lobby in the other side of the world just to see this very familiar face... this show really treats me with good surprises.

Although I love Porter’s scenes with Duncan in Shanghai, along with other little details in the loop that can get very interesting, I would say that I prefer the Porter loop in New York as it contains richer emotion and flows more coherent. Also with EJB performing it you are guaranteed to see surprises. Him dancing in one moment gave me strong *feelings*, I then never saw any Porter do it again in the same scene.

Other than that ---

Stephanie’s Bald and Emily’s Sexy is a wild combination. Stephanie’s performance as a witch was so convincing that sometimes I genuinely believe that she had supernatural power.

Adam Griffith is SO ideal as Malcolm.

The New York Fulton! He is a completely different character from the Cunning Man in Shanghai, but is as interesting. There are so many things in this character that I love, and mystery unsolved that I spent time with Assaf and Evan’s Fulton two shows in a role. The relationship of characters on the 4th floor in New York also seemed interesting and I wish I had more loops to explore.

Tim Heck’s Macbeth and Porter both impressed me. I love how determined and emotionally-twisted as Macbeth, and how genuine and self-pretective as Porter. His Porter was also a lot of fun to follow, for the lobby dance especially.

Lingering with Ida’s Nurse comforted me. I had never seen the limb dance being done so beautifully and powerfully for a long time.

Duncan - as someone who like to watch Duncans in Shanghai, I also spent fairly long time with Duncans in New York. The loop was not as boring as many people might think (to me) - of all the NY Duncans I’ve seen (Ben, JWW and Gino), there were always interesting little details in their acting that allows you to stay for longer. That said, I still believe those great actors deserve a 1:1 in this role. (And I have to repeat that the Duncan 1:1 in Shanghai is my absolute all time favourite.)

There are so many things in these shows I wish I could have more time to see: Joe’s Macbeth, Ida and Marla’s Lady Macbeth, Zach’s Macduff, Jenna’s Lady Macduff, Tori’s Hecate (!), the Taxidermist and the Speakeasy, the Boy Witch... I wish I had time to hang out with the in bar characters (because the vibe in the NY Manderley is so different from in Shanghai). I think I will come for another time sooner or later.

[rottenwoodandwiltedsunflowers]

Thoughts from a Waffle (9-12)

So I find it hard these days to type out a long play by play type of recap of my shows like I used to. We have a baby (well, I guess a toddler) and if any of you have kids or know people with kids, you know they tend to ruin your life. They are the best and the worst at the same time. So needless to say I love my child more than anything (except my cat...sorry baby cat was here first and he is WAY less of a jerk on a daily basis) but you can’t have anything nice with a baby including hobbies or trips to NYC for Manderley time or blogs that get updated with any sense of regularity. The only reason I am able to type this right now is that I am sitting in an Air B&B in Dumbo while my baby is enjoying a few days with the grandparents. So as much as I love looking back at my old recaps and remembering past shows, I just don’t have the time to write them anymore. Life evolves and so must my recaps. I have however been missing documenting my check-ins for my own memory so I am going to TRY to do these more abbreviated thoughts on my shows type posts. We will see!

EDIT: For your news feed’s sanity, I am going to insert a break here because I am apparently incapable of writing a short bulleted recap but there are not 1:1 spoilers, as per usual, in my recaps.

Last night Kae and I wrapped up show 2 of 3 for this trip. I am just going to talk about what I saw that I liked or that struck me from the shows starting with Tuesday 9-12. 

I am fairly sure I deserve a cookie or something of that nature for correctly identifying cast members the last 2 nights. HOLY CRAP THERE ARE SO MANY NEW CAST MEMBERS! We have only been a handful of times this year so I feel like I am still trying to get a grip on the new-as-of-last-cyle cast. To be fair, I spent a lot of time creepily but respectfully studying faces in the cast gallery last week.

Tuesday night the entrance to the show was a bit late but apparently, the show was also running a bit late because we ran down and the witches were just hugging pre-ballroom. I saw Ryan VanCompernolle’s sexy witch and all thoughts of new faces went flying out the window.

Ryan is infectiously fun to watch. This is not an opinion, it is a fact. Her dancing is beautiful and her characters are distinct and interesting. She makes great choices. On the technical side of things, I think she is one of the most impressive women in the McKittrick. She has been with the show longer than we have been going and it shows. She is one of the most versatile swings so it is always fun to see where she lands on the cast. She knows plays every role except Lady Macbeth and Hecate but unlike some cast members who retire their characters and move on to new roles, she plays them all occasionally. I don’t know how she remembers so much show content and manages to perform it so well.

I will almost always choose a loop with Ryan because we just have so much damn fun together. Aside from her beautiful dancing, she keeps me on my toes. I knew that it would be a great way to kick off a 3 show run and I wasn’t disappointed. I found myself smiling under my mask at so many moments.

There was a moment at the end of the sexy witch 1:1 where we were standing in the dark and she leaned in and whispered in my ear “Welcome back.” It was a moment that really pulled at my heart. It was a gentle reminder of what this building means to me (and so many other fans) who frequent it during times in their life of celebration or heartache. It was a reminder that there are breathtaking stories and art inside the McKittrick but also a sense of community.

I have to go on a little rant about just how good the witch trio was on Tuesday night. Ryan, Daniel, and Krista were perfect. The chemistry was off the charts. I have said before that other witch trios were great but to get to the level that they were on with Daniel in a relatively new role and Krista being a new cast member was astonishing. I think I said this recently about the Steph C, Emily, and Tyler trio but Tuesday's trio was better. I watched the rave 2x and it was scandalizing. I have seen this show 70+ times. I was scandalized. 

Daniel is a great boy witch. To be fair, he hasn’t been on my radar much in the past but I never really follow Banquo or Macbeth so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. He rocks the boy witch guyliner and embodies the spirit of boy witch. His audience interactions were great. Bravo! 

Krista is a great bald witch. Kae followed her more than I did but if you are a bald witch lover, you are in for a treat this cycle. I saw both Krista and Molly the past 2 nights and hold onto your horses because bald witch is stronger than ever. Nothing to be disappointed or worried about this cast change over. Also, just in case you keep score- there are 3 bald bald witches in rotation so hallelujah!

These witches were driving the McKittrick sex appeal through the roof in their portrayals! Whether it was bald and boy messing around or bald and sexy’s long embrace in the ballroom pre-reset, it was all fun and sexy.

At the end of Ryan’s sexy witch bar top solo, she dropped to the floor and reached up for my hand. Standard interaction- sexy witch grabs your hand looking crushed as Hecate rips her away, tells her to buck up, and sends her on her way. Ryan grabs my hand and forcibly yanks me into THE MIDDLE OF THE SCENE. Needless to say, I felt immediately panicked inside standing next to her, next to the bar, in front of all of the other white masks, feeling like I definitely did something I shouldn’t have. That mask was useless because I felt totally exposed and like a kid with their hand in the cookie jar. Did I mention Ryan likes to keep me on my toes? Mission accomplished. 

Tori’s Hecate forcibly removed out hands and stared me down. There aren’t many things that scare me in the show these days but I am more than willing to admit that Tori’s Hecate does. She continued to stare me down as she fixed sexy witches dress and ended the scene. Needless to say, I bolted out of there.

I did inevitably loop back around to Tori’s Hecate later in that show. I walked into the rep bar as she was finishing a reset of her table. I was about 2 steps inside and no one else was in sight. She was by the bar in front of the blue light and I saw her turn around and very quickly make a beeline toward me. She grabbed my hand, dragged me into the hall, and very forcefully tossed/pinned me against the wall. Once again, I am not easily shaken inside the hotel but Tori makes me real nervous. She told me a terrifying story about witches and the perils of sailing. 

It is always a bit vulnerable when a performer removes your mask but it is downright terrifying when it is literally aggressively snatched off of your face by Hecate. 

Brace yourselves for the shocker I’m about to lay out...I visited the Matron’s hut. I love a Matron who engages in storytelling using their eyes and Chelsey is great. Very inviting and warm but it is her eyes that make her 1:1 great. There is a very precise moment in the story where her eyes shift from hope to despair and the shift is stark and amazing.

Tori’s lip sync. I don’t really need to say more.

The last thing about my first show that really stuck out as fantastic was Molly Griffin. I love me a good nurse character and I am really liking Molly’s vibe on the character. 

I watched her fold some laundry and lay it out in the room with the beds. This is one of the standard nurse activities that can be very boring to watch for long periods of time and can get repetitive. I watched Molly lay out pajamas on 3 different beds and she laid them out all very differently. You could see her nurse carefully thinking through each one like it was of the utmost importance. The first one she laid out so it was laying down, one leg slightly bent, with their arms up next to their head. The next one, she turned down the bed laying the shirt out before pulling the sheet back up to give the illusion the person was tucked in. She then took the pants, folding them with great precision, and made them into a small rectangle. The nurse then tucked the rectangle into the top of the shirt to make a head for this imaginary patient. It was VERY clever! The third person she laid out straight with their arms crossed at the wrists at their waist. 

She went into the operating theater and ran her hand around the walls until she reached the upper back corner of the room. She faced the corner with her back to the audience and basically had a breakdown in the corner before quickly composing herself and rushing off as though she had suddenly remembered somewhere she had to be. I am very interested to see how her nurse character develops!

At the end of the show, I went back to find sexy witch. Sometimes when I full loop a character for the first loop (ballroom to ballroom) I find it fitting and cathartic to end the show with that character. It is a nice cycle to my show. Also, I adore Ryan! At the end of the finale, Ryan spotted me and we went running back to the Manderley all smiles! 

[wayfan]

SNM #13 (10/22/17 Early)

(Never really done a detailed recap before so please forgive me if it sucks.)

Getting there this time was a bit crazy. I live in Pennsylvania, and due to some crazy mix-up or misreading the bus schedule, it looked like I wasn't going to make it onto the bus to get in line on time, so I hopped an Uber to the next closest stop and bussed it into Port Authority. Made my way down to Penn Station, where I met my friend Jake just getting in from Long Island, and we hightailed our asses over to that glorious brick building that haunts my dreams. In line met two wonderful young ladies who had come together, R was a first-timer and K a fifth-timer, and we struck up quite a chat with them re: spaces, faces, aces, all that. Had a blast. (You know who you are! Thank you for being so great!)

They ushered us in, we got our aces (first time for diamonds!), and we headed up through the maze (quickest/easiest time I've had there by far). We emerged into that soft familiar red glow and Madeline (Tina Mitchell) welcomed us in. She and I took an immediate liking to each other, and she looked my direction every time I saw her. Me and Jake just missed the first elevator, but we got the second, with Assaf Salhov's wonderful accent giving us good vibes. I took the liberty of being the "scared first person out of the elevator" and looked back at the crowd as the doors close on me on 5. I immediately headed for Shaw's office, and found her with one other white mask, who I stuck with until she got Shaw's floor-5-1:1. I poked around there for a bit (I always take time to pet the wolf in the laundry room), and eventually made my way down to the Speakeasy, where Jeff Docimo's Speaks was just setting the table for his brief meeting with Andrea Shimota's Agnes. I watched that interaction (and their reactions to Quinn Dixon's Boy screaming bloody business on the pool table) before following Agnes out as her sole choice for her 1:1. I've gotten it two or three times, but having just viewed "Rebecca" in full for the first time mere days before, it had real special significance to me. (Also this will most likely be my last visit in 2017, so I nearly teared up at the end. Sometimes, in my dreams, I do go back. Oh, do I.)

I heard the pounding bass of the rave start as I came out of the funeral home and immediately sprinted down High Street to see my favorite character, my lady in red. My oh my, Virginia Logan's Hecate. She is what we have been waiting for; the role she was born to play, in my opinion probably my second or third favorite. (No one will ever top my first Hecate, the delightfully demonic Elizabeth Romanski.) I sat with her at the table as the rave winded down, kept my eyes on her during Sexy's (the wonderful Emily Oldak) bar dance, and left her dinner with Agnes at just the right time to get pulled into her lair to deliver her note for the Porter. (Her eyes are simply mesmerizing.)

I raced downstairs with the note (Definitely my favorite I've ever read: "Mummy's tired of your little games. Bring me what I seek. Now.") and hand it to the Porter (Christopher Bannow). He read it and brought me down the hall to the smaller desk to write his reply as Lady Macduff was murdered (can't read it, his boat-folding is just too exquisite to re-open). As the second loop started, I floated the boat back up to Hecate, just sitting down for her meal, who stared at me for a long while as she ate before choosing someone else for the ring and the song.

It must have been around this time that I decided (since, again, last show of 2017) that I would go back out to Manderley and see what was going on. Lucky I did, I had my first experience with the gypsies of Manderley. Apparently Madeline had been gossiping about me to Cordelia (Chelsey Ng), who noticed that I was hovering near her table. We struck up a lovely chat and she read my cards, which was very interesting. She made me a little bracelet to keep (thank you!). I then pressed my luck and asked if she knew any ways to explore the more "hidden" areas of the hotel, and she suggested I check out the King James. When I let her know that I had met the women up there, she asked me to come with her to the bar. She wrote a note on a cocktail napkin (Addressed to "P." -- I tried to read it eventually, but couldn't really make it out -- some poem about "a mouse singing a sad song"?) and told me to give it to the Matron in the hut, which I did as soon as I hurried back upstairs. She took the note from me and took my new line friend K in for a 1:1. When she looked out the window afterwards, she was holding the note and looking at me. She took me in for the same 1:1 right after. (So it wasn't the 6th floor, but I loved finding out that there are indeed surprising ways to be bold here.)

I stuck around 5 for a while trying to find Suitcase Lady (who as it turned out had taken K up to the 6th floor as I was searching for her!) Eventually i got back to the lobby just in time for one of my favorite dances, the phone booth between Porter and Boy. I'd been wanting Porter's 1:1 for ages, and finally got it. I was moved and crying and my hand is still red. I went back up to 5 (just felt like it) and followed Matron and Shaw's mirror dance to the operating theater and watched Shaw's crazy possession. They headed down the stairs together. Black masks started to show up so I figured it was the end, so I followed them down and kept going to the 1st floor balcony, hoping I could get a walkout from Hecate or Porter, but neither happened. As a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square and we headed back to Manderley again, Madeline gave me a huge hug and bid me adieu. That's a walkout enough for me. <3 (Great dinner at Gallow Green afterwards with Jake, K, and R.) I don't know when I'l be back, but four 1:1s plus a longgg run-in with a gypsy should tide me over.

[sincerelybluevase]

Masterpost of my fanfics

I’ll try to keep this post updated regularly. I can be found on FanFiction.net, as well as AO3

Rebecca (Daphne du Maurier)

Series:

-  Careful, Madam. A smutty angsty fic in which the narrator and Mrs Danvers get rather intimate just before Manderley’s fancy dress ball.

Call the Midwife

Series:

- Kiss, interrupted. What if Doctor T and Sister B had kissed, only for Sister Julienne to find them? Sister B has some serious thinking to do regarding her life as a nun. Somehow, a metaphor surrounding cake and biscuits snuck its way in here. My first fic EVAH.

TW for abuse.

the entire work can be found here

-Lips touch. Based on the amazing fic by @kienova66, in which she details twenty possible ways in which Sister B and Doctor T could have shared their first kiss. Now, I’ve tried to near her perfection in these ten fics. UPDATE: it’s going to be fifteen fics, now. The first ten are a mixed bag of the silly, the (sometimes a bit overly) dramatic, and the sweet, and all inlcude a proper kiss on the mouth/a snog. The last five, though, are more serious and written with the idea that these COULD have happened, though they probably didn’t. They also explore other kisses that don’t include two mouths. TW: assault (chapter 1), alcohol abuse (chapter 2), abuse (chapter 6)

Part one   - Part two  -  Part three  -  Part Four-   Part Five-  Part Six-  Part Seven-   Part Eight-  Part Nine-  Part Ten-  Bonus Part-  Part Eleven-   Part Twelve-  Part Thirteen-  Part Fourteen-  Part Fifteen

-Fragments. A series of asks in which the asker gave me a first sentence+a ship and I had to write the next five sentences. A variety of people and situations. Possibly one of the most entertaining things I’ve written!

There are eighty of them in total, all of which can be found here

TW: none, I think.

-Adventures in Faerie. When Angela starts her 'fairies live in our garden' phase, Patrick discovers more about Shelagh's childhood, and decides to do something special for her. TW: none, I think, though chapter 4 does head into the uncanny. What can I say? Angela is an imaginative child ;). Seven chapters, all of which can be found here

-Pros and Cons. For the 100wordsctm2017 challenge. What are the pros to being maried to Patrick? And what of the benefits of being maried to Shelagh? TW: none. Part 1-Part 2-Part 3- Part 4- Part 5- Part 6- Part 7

-Breathless. After Sister Bernadette has been diagnosed with TB, she decides it is time to put into words how she feels about the doctor, and goes to him to tell him in person. Season 2 Canon divergence, because what would have happened if Sister B and Doctor T had given in to their love for each other before the misty road? TW: Sister Bernadette is afraid of dying and thinks about this possibility. This work has ten chapters, which can be found here. 

-Twin rooms. Shelagh and Patrick decide to go on a little holiday. Imagine their surprise when it turns out that Trixie and Christopher are staying in the same hotel. In fact, they are staying in the room next to the Turners. Hotel walls are awfully thin... TW: discussion of alcoholism in chapter 3. Three chapters, all can be found here. 

-New Year’s Eve. Turnadette modern AU. When Shelagh's appartment gets shut down after a fire, she has nowhere else to go on New Year's Eve than her colleague and month-long crush, Doctor Turner. As she lives there, she slowly starts to become obsessed with Patrick's first wife, Marianne. I used vibes from Du Maurier's 'Rebecca' for this fic. TW: Discussions of death, guilt, graphic depiction of victims of a car crash Seven chapters, all can be found here.

-Consumed. Sister Bernadette discovers that her cough is not so much due to TB as due to something else: a latent power inside her that no longer wants to stay dormant. AU with magic, but don’t let that keep you away; the kiss these two share has been described as ‘possibly Turnadette’s best kiss’ ;). TW: none Five chapters and an epilogue, all of which can be found here.

-Lessons in Lovemaking. Shelagh is more than ready to start her new life as Mrs Turner, but there is one part that worries her a little, since she wants to please Patrick always: what happens between men and women in the bedroom. However, she reasons that lovemaking is a skill just like any other, and can be taught. After discussing her concerns with Patrick, he comes up with several lessons for her, which include a lot of real life practice. TW: none. But this fic is very much M-rated. Taking Lessons- Lesson Number One- Lesson Number Two- Lesson Number Three- Lesson Number Four (Part One- Part Two)- Interlude- Lesson Number Five- Lesson Number Six- Lesson Number Seven- Lesson Number Eight- Lesson Number Nine- Lesson Number Ten- 

Oneshots:

-Rainy Road. What if the misty road scene had become a rainy road scene instead? TW: none, I think. 

-This Unbearable Heat. Some sexual tension between a married Shelagh and Patrick, which involves a toy rabbit, a tin of formula, and a rainstorm. TW: none, I think. 

-Greetings, Doctor. A steamy phone conversation between Patrick and Shelagh, because Patrick didn’t get to show his appreciation for his wife’s uniform properly that morning TW: none, I think. 

-Scars and Kisses. Shelagh thinks back on the previous few weeks during the ride to the adoption agency to pick Angela up. TW: none, I think. 

-Four things to be proud of. Trixie Franklin has four things she is proud of. When she sees Shelagh in those drab, ill-fitting suits, she simply has to employ one of them to help her friend. She didn't expect a shopping trip to teach her a bit more about herself, though. TW: none, I think. 

-Home. Shelagh takes a bit of time to reflect on her new house in the middle of the night with Teddy in her arms. TW: none, I think. 

-Stripes. Trixie is insecure about her body post-baby, so Christopher decides to give her a bit of a pep-talk. TW: none, I think. 

-Unconventional Motherhood. Phyllis and Sister Julienne have a conversation about unconventional motherhood when Phyllis struggles to understand her emotions after Barbara's wedding. TW: none, I think. 

-Unconventional Daughterhood. A companion piece to Unconventional Motherhood, though both can be read separately. Barbara and Shelagh have a good conversation about what name to give to friendships that don’t always fit that label. TW: none, I think. 

-A First Time. Trixie’s and Christopher’s wedding night. Steamy, as you can imagine. TW: none, I think. 

-Tension. Every marriage has its little fights, but what happens when Angela Turner picks up on the tension between her parents and has a nightmare as a result? TW: none, I think. 

-Strife. Every marriage has a bit of strife sometimes. When Patrick ignores a pile of unfolded nappies, Shelagh can't control her anger. This fic explores how little tensions can come out in an argument that started over a little thing, but also how these two talk things through and make up. A companion piece to Tension. TW: none, I think. 

-A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes. When Sister Bernadette wakes up from a troubling dream, she turns to Sister Julienne for advice. TW: none, I think.

-Beasts in the Bedroom. Angela has the firm belief, like most children of her age, that her room harbours a vast array of monsters. What happens if she decides to vanquish them, only to hear strange sounds from her parents' bedroom? TW: none, I think. 

-Once Upon a Dream. A fic in which Patrick explains a young Angela how he and Shelagh met. Since it is almost a fairy tale in and of itself, Patrick takes some liberties, borrowing from Disney's Sleeping Beauty. TW: none, I think.

-Three. When Patrick gives Shelagh a rather obvious love-bite, he tries to find a way to justify him leaving his mark on her, and does so by explaining what this mark means, along with all her scars. TW: None.

-Prompt 29 Alternative Ending. So this fic is based on @cooldoyouhaveaflag /RipperShipper’s Prompts of Turnadette prompt 29. Go and check all of those prompts out if you haven’t already; they are super well written and just plain amazing! Anyway, in prompt 29, Shelagh has a bit of a nasty encounter, after which Patrick comforts her. I wondered what would have happened if it was one of the nuns who intervened, and thus this fic was born. TW: assault.

-Good Dolly. When a certain doll keeps returning to the Turner household, drastic measures will have to be taken to get the haunted toy to stay away.

-Doctor’s Delight Shelagh had never considered herself as the type of person to read romance novels. She’d assumed them rather lurid affairs, not fit for a woman of her own high moral standards.That was before she’d read Caribbean Kisses.

-Socks and Sheaths Shelagh needs to have a talk with Patrick about birth control now that she is not as infertile as they once thought.

More to come, I’m sure.

I also write original fiction. A masterpost of my own work can be found here.

[openlockswhoeverknocks]

January Highlights

As always, after a visit to the McKittrick I like doing a list of highlights for people to read if they so desire. I just enjoy writing these so forgive my ramblings. These are in no particular order, just as I remember them. 

- Stepping into the lift/elevator and then entering the actual hotel after a few months’ break.

- Wandering a little bit aimlessly in a tired and just stepped off a plane state, seeing Ida’s Agnes come out of her 1:1 room and telling yourself “well that’s third loop sorted” while your body is actually already following her right there and then. I guess body knew best. 

- The 5th floor- I love that floor so much. 

- Spending an innordinate amount (again) outside Matron’s hut. I got to see quite a few different ones this time and loved every single one.

- Feeling like I’m being judged every time a Matron asked me if I wanted sugar in my tea. Yes, I like sweet tea, don’t judge!

- Not being given the choice by Sarah’s Matron on whether I wanted sugar in my tea or not. I was having sugar because she decided so. 

- Elizabeth’s cackle as Hecate will never fail to make me happy. Weird I know. 

- Getting to see Ida’s Bald Witch after just over a year and half and loving every single minute of it. She’s the very first bald witch I followed so extra sentimental value there. I did follow her a lot this time because she was on a lot but I just couldn’t stay away whenever she was on. 

- That ballroom solo, MY GOD that solo when Ida does it!!!

- Ginger’s cooky yet gentle Matron. Seemed like an adult that never quite grew up and still behaved with a child like innocence which was so endearing. The gentleness in the 1:1 melted my heart.  - I LOVE watching Lady Macbeth dance with Duncan in the mezzanine as she hands him the poisoned drink

-Jenna’s Nurse looking vacant one minute and then suddenly engaging herself in whatever task she was doing. It was really effective and unsettling. 

- Marissa’s sexy having so much playful authority. A bit like a leopard or a panther. She also seemed to love tickling passersby which was quite entertaining. 

- Spending a nice quiet hour with Marc’s taxi and letting out an accidental chuckle when he cleaned his shoes after his visit to the graveyard. 

- Mallory’s Agnes. She is so detailed and you can read every emotion on her face. She has a way of drawing you in so that you feel everything she’s going through with her. 

- Following Marissa’s super detailed and creepy Nurse, being taken to the 1:1 only to hear an announcement that the building was being evacuated. 

- Returning into the building after the evacuation to find no characters around for a couple of scenes and ending up with Mallory’s Agnes and ugly crying for the first time at a show ever. I don’t do crying, 

- Virginia’s Matron. I could write a whole other post on this and no one wants that I’m sure so I’m just leaving it at that. 

- Being intrigued by Matron sewing a letter together with red string.

- Being freaked out by matron looking at herself in a hand mirror while sat down at her rocking chair and finding my eye looking through the wall slit in the reflection. Super cool and super freaky.

- Nearly stumbling right into 6th floor nurse because I was so lost in my thoughts. 

- Ryan’s sexy being a pure joy and delight to watch. Plus her rep bar solo is INCREDIBLE!

- Spending happy hour in Manderley with Maximilian and Kit. Kit made me laugh so much my sides hurt. It was a good core workout!

- Seeing a fellow white mask draw imaginary Xs on the trees and walls of the 5th floor maze on the way back to Matron’s hut. Once we all stood facing the door of the hut, he stood up straight and made an X with his arms above his head. Baffling and soooooo weird!

- Isadora’s Lady Macduff folding the baby clothes in such a tender and innocent way it made me so sad. 

- Jenna’s Danvers being so very strange that it’s intriguing to watch. She doesn’t feel as malicious as some. Perhaps more crazy and therefore more threatening too. That little smile she has does not bode well for anyone. 

- Nick’s Porter and his obsession with giving Agnes sugar in her tea. All Agneses I saw refused the sugar but he either didn’t listen and still poured a mountain of it, or he coaxed them into accepting the sugar by being annoying. 

- Nick’s playful Porter dancing around uncovering furniture and trying to get under Agnes’ skin as much as he can vs Nick’s more sensitive and sad side later in the loop when you can see how vulnerable he really is. 

- Sarah’s Lady Macbeth and how anxious she is. She show a slightly more vulnerable side than outright crazy, which really works quite well and all of a sudden, at reset, she’s back to being stone faced and resident Queen Bee.

- Have I mentioned how happy Elizabeth’s Hecate cackle makes me?

- Spending a loop with Ida’s Lady Macbeth and being so engrossed in the loop that I never even noticed how crowded she got. She’s a less sympathetic Lady Macbeth but my favourite because of that. You can see how calculating she is and how much she gets off on the idea of power. That dance she does behind the mirror just before going down to the banquet summarises the whole character and the loop. I LOVE it. 

- Spending the top of the show with Nurse and going down to the banquet with her only to notice my dream combination of Ryan Sexy and Ida Bald was happening right then and there. 

- Subsequently spending the middle loop with Bald and the last loop with Sexy and getting some highly amused looks when some scenes overlapped. I recommend doing those two loops in one show, it’s actually super fun. 

- I absolutely love watching Mallory’s Hecate during the rave. Whenever she was on, even if I arrived with one of the witches, I ended up just watching her. She has this magnetism about her that makes you watch her every move and it’s great to watch her actually orchestrate the whole rave and seeing her delight in herself when it’s all working. 

- Hecate’s cabaret scene, no matter which Hecate does it, has got to be one of the best scenes inside the hotel.

- Jeff’s speakeasy constantly singing and being a general joy to come across in my roaming around. 

- The mirror dance has got to be my favourite scene in there. No matter which Nurse/Matron combo it is, I absolutely love watching it. Especially the beginning when the light first starts coming through the hut window. - Seeing: “Art thou afeard to be the same in thine own act and valour as thou art in desire? being written by matron at high speed on the pillar and being taken completely by surprise for some reason. I love it when you’re settled in a routine and a tiny detail changes and you have a eureka moment. 

- Spending more time than usual at the bar during the show and having the most random conversations. I think I am almost on par with Kit when it comes to randomness. 

- Alternating between being really intimidated by Ida’s bald witch and wanting to stay out of her way and loving the attention she was giving me depending on my vibe when I followed her. 

- Fulton leaving Agnes a little charm to protect her while she sleeps. Creepy yet cute. 

- Isabel’s Agnes and her little enigmatic smile I can never decipher.

- The witches during the rave when they’re full of energy and scream the place down. So, SO good. 

- Spending time with friends old and new inside the hotel and see them enjoy the place as much as I do.

There’s probably more but I’m getting sleepy so I will add as I go.  Sorry this is so long and hope you all enjoy!