#and like on top of all the usual issues with piercings by claires (do NOT get me started as a person pierced over 30 times)

[boba-thot]

saw a whole queue of people waiting to get piercings in claires today. nauseating.

[thesassenachswiftie]

Lover - Chapter 8: “Me!”

Read on AO3

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7

Summary: Jamie and Claire are finally reunited!! We left our lovers under the bleachers, where Claire whispered "take me home." I'm sure you can imagine where this is going. 🔥

Notes:Thanks so much for reading and bearing with me through all the angst!! If you have issues with smut, maybe skip this chapter (the very beginning and very end are safe, but not much in between). 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Follow me on Twitter (sassenachswifty) because I need more friends on there.

Chapter 8: Me!

In spite of the chill in the air, Jamie felt warm for the first time in months.  He had been living in winter and Claire was his summer--returned to him after their time apart. Somewhere in the distance, a teenager reluctantly shouted “strike the band up...1,2,3”; from the sound of it, the game had ended and the marching band was playing the crowd out. They had already made their way to the parking lot and arrived there before the throng, Jamie’s arm firmly planted around Claire the whole time. Jamie didn’t ever want to let her go again. He opened his car door for her in the parking lot and winced to let her go for the few moments it took to walk around the car to the driver’s seat. Once inside the car, he planted his right hand firmly on her left.  He never let go for the entire ride back to his apartment, caressing her hand gently with his thumb and stealing glances at her at every stop light. He could still hardly believe she had come back to him. He never wanted to see her walk away again. The last time they had been in a car together she wouldn’t let him touch her--would they have even been apart if she had? Having that physical connection made open and honest conversation easier between them. “Claire, are you really here? Are you really mine?”

“Jamie, when you ran after me and called my name, that was it for me. I couldn’t run away again; I couldn’t leave well enough alone even if I wanted to. I don’t know what it is between us. It’s not usual. It’s different.”

“Aye, I ken what you mean, Sassenach.” he briefly pulled the hand he’d been holding to his lips, kissing just under the knuckles.

Claire laughed gently, “one of these things is not like the others” she chanted, smirking.

“Well, there’s a lot of lame guys out there” he chucked back to her. “Babydoll, when it comes to a lover I promise that you’ll never find another like me.” Jamie was beaming, his world felt like a rainbow with all of the colors now that his Claire, his sorcha, his light was back in his life.

“Mmm… I don’t doubt it.” She closed her eyes, picturing just the kind of lover he was, grinning and blushing as she imagined where they would end up this evening. “I don’t doubt it one bit.”

           When they arrived in the driveway below his apartment Jamie was again remiss to let go of Claire’s hand to exit the car. Immediately, their arms were around each other again as they made their way up the narrow staircase to Jamie’s above-garage apartment. As soon as they closed the door behind them, Jamie grabbed Claire’s curly mane and brought her lips to his own, kicking off his shoes as he did so and guiding her into the studio apartment towards his bed. Their lips only separated to pull clothing over heads in a whirlwind of passion--a coat on the floor in the entryway, a shirt draped over the kitchen chair, a pair of jeans strewn across the coffee table, Claire’s bra discarded on an end table. Panting, they arrived at the bed where Claire sat and peeled off her skinny jeans and underwear before assisting Jamie in stripping off his boxer briefs. He stood before her beside the bed and she lay back. For a moment, they stared at each other, taking in the sight of each other's naked bodies, comparing them with their memories of a month ago. Jamie was the first to break the silence. “Sassenach, I’m bewitched by you--completely under your spell.”

           Claire reached up for his forearm, pulling him down on top of her, “Mmm… Spelling is fun” she cooed, pulling him in for another impassioned kiss. She wrapped her legs around his waist and they began rubbing against each other’s most sensitive areas. Claire had been so deprived of pleasure in the past month, she felt that just this simple action could be enough to take her over the edge. She wouldn’t have been surprised if Jamie felt the same, feeling just how much he wanted her against her.

           “Christ Sassenach”, he whispered in her ear, moving to kiss her earlobe, and down her neck. He adjusted his position to keep himself from finishing too soon, allowing her to rub on his strong thigh instead as his lips made their way to her breasts. He kissed and sucked each nipple generously, settling to work on the right one while his left hand caressed the other.  He devoured her skin ravenously; this was a meal he hadn’t had in a month and it was more delectable than he remembered. After satisfying both her breasts, her nipples engorged and erect, he continued kissing down to her stomach, her hips, her thighs, her inner thighs. He knew he was teasing her, but every inch of her skin was missed and delicious to him, he wanted to savor every bit of her. Feeling Jamie explore these untouched places caused Claire to involuntarily giggle, the scruff of his chin and delicate caress of his tongue tickling those sensitive spots. “I will never tire of your wee noises, Sassenach”

           “I do not make wee-e-e, oo- oo- oo--” Claire’s protestations were interrupted by Jamie’s mouth finally making its way to that bundle of nerves she had been anticipating for what simultaneously felt like moments and eons. Claire panted and hummed as he sucked and licked, knowing just when to change pressure to keep her pleasured yet wanting more. Finally, he brought her to that place where she saw stars behind her eyelids, and cried out his name in pure ecstasy.

           “Ya do make wee noises, Sassenach, and baby, that’s the fun of you.” he stated smugly, clearly proud of himself for eliciting such a reaction from her.  

           “I know I tend to make it about me, but allow me to return the favor, my darling” she elicited, sitting up and moving to her knees on the floor, beside the bed.

           “Who would I be to deny the lady’s request?” he mused, taking her position on the bed.  

           “God Jamie! It’s bigger than I remember!” she exclaimed, taking his cock in her and gently stroking it.

           “I know, I’m a handful, baby uh--” he groaned as she took him between her lips, “and a mouthful, apparently.” He attempted to wink at her for the second time that evening, his owl-like expression and smug smile meeting her whiskey eyes staring up at him. Using her hand to grasp and stroke his base in time with her mouth on his shaft, she ran her tongue and lips along him until he was the one letting out unrecognizable noises and sharp inhalations. He tangled his fingers in her curls as if he were holding on for dear life. “Oh God Claire!” he cried out, spilling into her mouth.  She swallowed, wiping her lips after releasing him. They were both breathless. He drew her up onto the bed with him and then down to collapse on the bed in his arms.  

“Come here, mo nighean donn, let me keep you company.” He brought his lips to hers for the umpteenth time that evening, worming his tongue between her lips.  They shared another passionate kiss, this time slow and lingering, savoring the taste of themselves on each other’s lips--something that was new for Claire.

“No one’s ever done that before,” she rasped when they released.

“Done what?” he questioned, his blue eyes peering deep into her whiskey-colored ones.

“Kissed me after… well, after what I just did to you.” Claire, blushed, averting her eyes to his piercing gaze.

“There’s a lot of lame guys out there, Sassenach. I’d kiss ya even if you just ate a tuna sandwich with onions dipped in garlic and topped with stinky cheese, this is nothing.”

Claire exploded with laughter at his comment. “Mmmm… how appetizing,” she sputtered sarcastically between her chuckles. She’d missed how fun he was to be around.  He certainly would never bore her. She’d forgotten how wonderful it was to laugh in his arms, in his bed. When was the last time she laughed? Had it really been since that night in Montauk? The night she didn’t think before she jumped in and told him she loved him? The same night she also thought too much and decided to ruin everything? How had he allowed her back into his arms so easily after what she’d done to him. She was lying beside him now--her curls and one of her delicate hands spilling over his firm chest, and he was gently stroking her hair. “Why’d you let me come back to you Jamie? You could have anyone else, you’re the kind of guy the ladies want. Why me? After all I put you through.”

He pulled her chin up so their eyes could meet. “In truth, I don’t always ken myself.  I’ll admit I was angry after I found out what ya did to me, but I meant what I said earlier. I forgive you. I can understand why you did it, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want it too--even if the circumstances weren’t exactly my idea of honorable. I’m glad you told me though--I felt I hated you for it at first, but it’s better to be honest with each other.”

“I’m so sorry Jamie, I should have never toyed with your honor like that. All I could think of that first night was how much I wanted you, but it shouldn’t have been like that. I should have left Frank right then and there. I’m afraid I was a coward.” she admitted. “I’m afraid you never get just what you see with me, but I want to change that. I don’t want to lie to you anymore. I feel like my heart and my head have been battling since we met and I’ve only been able to show you one or the other. Like I’ve been two completely different people. I want to be able to show you all of me, the only one of me.”

“I’d like that very much, Sassenach” there was a truth in her eyes that he saw and understood. For the first time in their torrid relationship, she was completely vulnerable and exposed to him. Free from the weight of any hidden baggage, the air around them felt light, like they could float together, right off the bed and into the stratosphere. Everything was out in the open and they were free to just be. Claire felt it too, the weight that had been bearing down on her their whole relationship was gone from this meeting. She had aired her dark secrets and he still accepted her in spite of her shortcomings.

Jamie pulled her into a kiss--slow, lingering, passionate. Their tongues danced lazily, in no rush to do anything but enjoy each other’s company. Carefully, Jamie rolled Claire onto her back, positioning himself on top of her. He began to kiss, suckle and roll his tongue across her earlobe, causing her to moan and squeak with pleasure and anticipation. He brought his hand to the space in between her legs, gently stroking the place he knew she wanted him too, caressing the moist folds of her skin, teasing around her entrance with his fingertips. “Jamie” she whispered in his ear, “I want you inside me--please.”

He guided himself inside her in one smooth stroke. Their bodies quickly found a gentle rhythm, synchronizing completely as if they were created to fit together, two halves of the same whole joining. They had started their evening at homecoming, but now they were coming home. Their desire for each other swelled and grew together and the pace of their movements followed. “Don’t stop, Jamie!” Claire cried out, on the edge of her passion.

“I won’t stop, baby.” he panted back to her, nearing his own precipice. Moments later, Claire let out a piercing cry of his name, fingers clawing into his shoulders, her whole body squirming with pleasure. That was more than Jamie needed to bring him toppling over the edge with her, his own pleasure bursting behind his eyes.

He dismounted from her, handing her a box of tissues from the nightstand so they could clean themselves up, and laying on his side next to her, his curly red mop propped up on his large hand, taking in the naked beauty lying beside him. “I’m so glad you’ve come back to me, mo nighean donn.” He gently stroked the skin of her breast.

“I didn’t think you’d miss me after a time, you’re a very attractive man, and there’s a lot of cool chick’s out there. Surely, you could have found someone else.”

“There is only one of you, Sassenach.” he smirked, kissing her curly mane “no one else could compare.”

They continued to lie together in silence. Jamie continued softly caressing Claire’s milky skin, taking in everything inch of her, memorizing her every curve. Eventually Claire broke the silence.

“Jamie?” there was a hint of anxiety in her tone.

“What is it, mo chirde?”

“When are you leaving?” she whimpered.

“Not for another few weeks yet, I’ll help Jenny and Ian with the pumpkin harvest but I have to be back before the end of the month to get my wee tree farm up and running before my own busy season. It seems to be starting earlier each year.” he mused. Jamie ran a Christmas Tree farm on the outskirts of London, something Claire had learned the night they met.

“What happens then? With us?” There was a pleading in her golden eyes as she looked into his.

“Och! A wee ocean isn’t going to stop the way I feel about you.” he insisted, kissing her forehead. “It’ll be different, yes, but I’ll call you every night, and we can visit each other when you have breaks from school, right?”

“That sounds like it could work. I’ll miss this though.” She ran her hand up and down his body, making it clear exactly what she met.

“And I’ll miss this.” He reached around her body, taking a generous handful of her arse. “I swear we’ll make this work, Claire; I never want to be parted from you again.” In truth, he was imagining her joining him in England. Making space for her in his home. Perhaps she would grow a small herb garden behind the kitchen, and they’d laugh together as he washed dishes and she dried in the evenings. Eventually, they’d have a bairn or two running around the place, keeping them on their toes. It was all so beautiful and real in his head, but he knew it was too soon to ask. He knew it would be a huge decision for her and she’d been through so much in the past few months, he didn’t need to throw her a curveball like that. She had only just returned to him, only just been able to open up to him. For now, all he could do was silently vow that someday, he would make that fantasy a reality.

----------

           Jamie and Claire continued kissing, caressing, and humming sweet words into each other’s ears well into the small hours of the night. They enjoyed each other’s company more than they ever had before now that the walls between them had crumbled. Eventually, the week caught up with Claire and she fell asleep before Jamie did, using his shoulder as a pillow.  Jamie stayed awake, taking her in, stroking her soft curls, and imagining their future together.  When he was sure she was asleep, he kissed her cheek softly and whispered in her ear, “I promise that nobody’s gonna love you like me.”

[jack-andthestalk]

Stuck on you, See me, Chapter 16.

Thank you as always to @balfeheughleywed, for keeping this fic afloat. Moodboard cred to @balfeheughleywed. Sorry for  the delay!

             Our guests slowly trickled home in the early hours of the morning; only a few stragglers remained, whispering couples tucked into corners of the apartment.

   Rupert was chatting up a girl in the kitchen who had bright red hair, possibly dyed, and a piercing in her nose and eyebrow that Rupert found ‘edgy’ his voice occasionally went up an octave as he came to the punch line of a joke.

  Jamie and I were thoroughly enjoying eavesdropping from our vantage position in the hall, giggling at Rupert’s efforts.  He had just told her he was a land owner, Jamie snorted “the garden at the back of his mother’s house doesna count”

  There was a high pitched giggle from the red head and a rumble from Rupert before we could hear him mumbling “do ye ken that Scottish men are hung like horses?”  

The red heads flirtatious voice murmuring is that so? There was wet kissing noises now and Jamie stuck two fingers down his throat mimicking a puking action. The kissing noises stopped and Rupert continued, “Aye that’s why we need kilts…we canna contain our cocks in breeks!”

   I put my hand over my mouth to stifle the roar of laughter and Jamie rolled his eyes muttering “fucking idiot”

  “Hey you shouldn’t knock Rupert’s tall tale it can only benefit you, you are Scottish too after all?” Jamie pulled me in close and raised his eyebrows questioningly “I will wear my kilt for ye again I hope?” an endearing boyish smiled crossed over his face and my heart tugged against my chest.

  “Well I was always partial to your kilt….” I admitted.

  Rupert emerged out of the kitchen a determined look on his face and we broke apart quickly, “Jamie man have ye a johnny?” I didn’t know which one of us was redder, but it certainly wasn’t Rupert, who stood by impatiently waiting. I glanced to the ground hoping to grant Jamie some privacy.

  Jamie cleared his throat awkwardly “I dinna have one.”

  Rupert gave him a look of utter disgust “tsk, what kind of a single man doesna have any condoms for fucks sake” and staggered off towards his bedroom purposefully.

  I engrossed myself with something on the back of my hand to try and hide my smirk. When I looked back up Jamie rolled shook his head in disdain and I could still make out the lovely shade of pink coloring his cheeks.

  I curled my arms around my middle and yawned unconsciously; Jamie reached out and touched my arm, “Ye should go to bed Claire… I am gonna head home.” I wanted to pull him to me and say “Stay, sleep with me.” The words wouldn’t come out instead I tilted my head and smiled tenderly at him, “Thank you for everything you were a great help”, Jamie rubbed the back of his neck, and looked down at the floor “aye well so were you.”

  “um er…ok I don’t know what to say to that” I giggled nervously

  “Och no I dinna mean that…I…oh Christ.”

  I pushed him playfully on the chest, “c’mon I will walk you out.”

  Jamie and I had started the day as friends and ended it with a mind numbing session on top of my bed with our hands down each other’s pants. Standing now under the streetlights the whole thing felt dreamlike, Jamie’s chin dipped down into his chest while he shifted awkwardly on his feet.

  “Well goodnight then Jamie.” I said quietly, pulling at the sleeves of my cardigan nervously.

  He raised his head to look at me, intensity in his eyes that made me feel giddy.

  “this is akin to a first date Sassenach….well the nervous goodbye bit is anyway…should I kiss ye…will ye slap me?” his eyes were sparkling now.

  “You’ve already kissed me tonight Fraser…and worse, have you forgotten already?” I teased.

  “Not a chance, I remember, every fuckin’ second of it Claire.” His tone deepened, and he put his hand on my waist pulling me into him.

  “so… can I kiss ye good night then?”

  He stood hesitantly waiting for me to answer; I just nodded and walked into his lips, standing on tippy toe. My intention was a chaste kiss but Jamie wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, tilted his head took my whole mouth zealously. When we broke away Jamie’s lips hovered over mine barely touching, a slightly stunned expression on his face.

  We both grinned stupidly at each other, Jamie’s hand roamed round and cupped my arse, and he rested his head against my forehead. He stood there for a minute or two before he shifted away slightly, looking for something in his pockets.

“Claire… I dinna have yer number?”

  “what?” my eyebrows creased in confusion.

  “Yer phone number?”

  “Oh” I nodded and widened my eyes in realisation.

  Jamie’s looked at the ground and he mumbled, “I ken ye dinna have the same one anymore….”

  I didn’t need to ask how he knew; after I left he had tried several ways to get in touch when he failed to get through on my old number.

   “of course” I said quickly not wanting to dampen the moment with reliving the path that led to me changing my number. He took out his phone punching in the numbers while I called it out giving me a lopsided grin when he was done.

  “Goodnight Sassenach” he said taking a step backwards, keeping his gaze locked on me.

  “Goodnight Mr. Fraser.”

   A lot had changed in 12 hours.

          A few nights later while watching Lamb swirl his wine around in a globe like glass, I contemplated how the hell I was going to tell him about Jamie’s resurgence in my life.

  “Darling you look hypnotised, are you ok?” Lamb asked voice full of concern.

  Lamb had been on a dig in India for the past six weeks and was back in London for a short stay before he flew off to his next project. Our customary catch up dinner was quieter than usual as my conscience battled over whether I should continue lying to him until I knew what was happening with Jamie and me, or come clean and tell him how I was allowing Jamie back into my life with gusto, resulting in a dizzy silliness that was embarrassing if nothing else.

    I shrugged my shoulders and smiled briefly, “No sorry I am fine…I just am just out of it after the night shifts.” Lamb and I were sitting in rustic wooden dining booths, which lined the gastro pub walls back to back, there was a band setting up in the corner of the restaurant and I vaguely wished they would start to play so it would drowned out my attempt at excuses.

  He nodded sceptically, making a sucking sound between his tongue and teeth to dislodge something stuck. “Good I was afraid yourself and Cathal were having a little trouble.”

  Lamb was either more intuitive than I gave him credit for or guessing wildly, either of which was backing me up into a corner. Now I had to tell him about Cathal. I took a deep breath and decided weakly maybe it was enough for one night to break it to him about Cathal; Jamie was another night’s work.

  “Actually Lamb…you’re not too wrong on that score…myself and Cathal you see actually have split up.” I smiled nervously, playing with the rim of my wine glass, “Just wasn’t to be I suppose”, I took a long deep gulp of my wine and avoided Lamb’s perplexed gaze.

  “But before I went to India…you two seemed so happy? What on earth happened in six weeks my love?”

  “I just needed space.” My face was burning up, it always betrayed me.

    Lamb extended a hand and placed it over mine. “Claire…what is going on?”

  My mind was racing trying to decide how much to tell Lamb, I was granted a quick reprieve when his phone rang suddenly.

  He shuffled in his pocket and retrieved the phone, looking at the screen, “I’m sorry sweetheart” he gestured at the phone “I gotta take this.”

  While Lamb left the table to take the call, I attempted to build up courage to mention Jamie’s name at least…maybe say he started working in the hospital?

Shit, no that wouldn’t do, I had just mentioned Cathal and I had broken up, too much of a coincidence that Jamie was now working with me.

  Off course I could come clean? I could tell him the whole sorry affair.

  And that was the other issue; I knew how Lamb would react. Well that and the whole affair almost seemed like it existed in my imagination as I hadn’t been able to see Jamie since the party three nights ago.

  Our working shifts at the hospital literally on opposite ends of the clock. The only thing that made it tangible was the yearning and ridiculous giddiness when my phone lit up with a message from him at the beginning of my shift or the end of his.

  The first of them had arrived the morning after the party.

   Jamie: I tried being suave and aloof and I dinna plan on texting ye til at least 12 hours after I had scored yer number but I am a weak man when it comes to ye Sassenach...I canna seem to stop myself…

  My jaws had almost cracked from smiling and the texts were coming hot and fast since then.

  So distracted was I in remembering the flirty exchanges, I hadn’t notice the door of the pub opening, admitting Rupert and Jamie, shoulders hunched from the cold and rubbing their hands furiously. My jaw dropped slightly and a sickly panic feeling rolled down my back. Fuck.

  I had arranged to meet Jamie sometime later that evening, vaguely mentioning I had dinner plans and would ring him when I was finished. I watched as he leaned over the bar, waiting for his drink, glancing down at his phone.

  I sank further into my seat, hoping he wouldn’t see me. Lamb returned to our table and noisily started apologising for his absence. Jamie’s head snapped up when he heard the commotion, catching my eye in the process.

  Jamie’s face lit up and he gave a little wave, Lamb was sitting the other side of the booth hidden from view. I smiled back weakly and quickly looked away again but it didn’t deter him, Jamie was already making confidence strides in my direction and my stomach was turning in on itself with stress.

  “Hey” I could hear him say from above my head. I took a deep breath and before I said another word, I gave him an apologetic smile. “Hi”

  Lambs slightly shocked voice cut through our reverie, “James?” he asked incredulously.

  If Lamb looked shocked then Jamie’s expression was nearer to shook. His mouth fell slightly agape “Lambert…I dinna see ye there…” his breath shook slightly “it’s been a while.” Jamie outstretched his hand, lamb looked at it cautiously for a minute before taking it and with a coldness I had never heard from him before he replied, “yes it has”

  “Lamb, I was just about to tell you that Jamie is working at the hospital, he is a qualified physiotherapist now…isn’t that great?” words babbling from my mouth nervously.

  Lamb looked at me as if I was half mad and then returned his steel gaze to Jamie.

  “You’re living in London?” He asked incredulously.

  “Aye…only moved here a couple of months ago now” Jamie shifted away from the table slightly, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

  “And what on earth would bring a scot like yourself to London?” Lamb shook his head in disbelief and widened his eyes dramatically. He was playing a game and it was obvious, I was only waiting on it to get progressively worse depending on Jamie’s answer.

  “I…em…I wanted a change and …” Jamie was stuttering, Lamb gave him a cold stare and a detached smile. “And did your girlfriend move with you?” he interrupted. I shot Lamb a look, Jamie’s eyebrows creased in confusion “my girlfriend?” he asked slowly.

  “Yes …your girlfriend…that is why you and my niece broke up? No? You had met someone else I think?” Lamb rubbed his chin contemplatively, pretending to think hard on the matter.

  Jamie’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped, “Eh no sir that is not quite what happened…I dinna…”

  “Oh well then” Lamb said rubbing his hands together happily, “it was just one big misunderstanding then?” Jamie’s gaze dropped to the floor. Lamb interpreted it as guilt, which it probably was, “I didn’t think so” Lamb replied flatly.

  Jamie’s head snapped up and his eyes narrowed slightly, “Lambert I ken I did wrong by Claire…but I certainly dinna leave her for another lassie…I made a very stupid stupid mistake …and I have tried to explain myself to Claire as best I can…she has been….” Before he could continue Lamb turned to look at me, “Claire darling…I shall not interfere any further but I hope that while James was explaining”, he over pronounced ‘explaining’ mockingly, “that he understood what it was like for you also to live in the shadow of his mistake hmm?” Lamb busied himself putting his coat on and throwing cash on the table.

  Jamie unfortunately interrupted “Lambert I ken what I put Claire through…I will be sorry for it forever…you must ken that?”

  “Oh so you knew then? How when I returned from a Egypt, I found my niece so malnourished, she had to be hospitalized?...that she paused her soaring medical career because you had broken her….over a fling with a woman…I believe you acquired in a bar?”

  “Lamb, stop it!” I snapped.

    Lamb put his hands up in defeat, “I promise I will not say another word.”

  He leaned across the table and kissed me on the cheek, “I love you darling, call me tomorrow.”

  With one curt nod in Jamie’s direction, “Goodnight James” Lamb exited throwing his scarf over his shoulder gliding out of the door with a proud hold across his shoulders.

  I turned to look at Jamie, a heartbroken look across his face, “I’m so sorry Claire…” he said softly.

[tigresjumeaux]

As per the request of @my-insanity-is-irrelevant​, here goes nothing. Not even gonna reblog the ask meme post bc I’m literally answering every question rip

1. What is you middle name? Marie. #basic 2. How old are you? 19. 3. When is your birthday? May 31.  4. What is your zodiac sign? Gemini. I’m actually two people and they’re both snakes.  5. What is your favorite color? I honestly don’t have one, they all have their perks. I do tend to favor cooler and darker colors tho 6. What’s your lucky number? 7 and 9, but odd numbers tend to treat me nicely in general.  7. Do you have any pets? Three! A Boxer named Buster, and two 14 y/o cats named Asheley and Nadia. Here’s hoping for many more in the future. :’) 8. Where are you from? Born in Seattle, raised in the greater St. Louis area, and going to school in Muncie, IN.  9. How tall are you? 5′6″ 10. What shoe size are you? 8 in American women’s size. 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Oh lord. Probably like 15 because I refuse to get rid of any, but I only wear like 4. 12. What was your last dream about? Roller coasters and an ex being nasty. DJ Khaled was there.  13. What talents do you have? I’m fairly good at reading people, and also drawing. I’m also a quick learner, if that counts as a talent? 14. Are you psychic in any way? I wish. I have a weird force of karma that seems to follow the people who have hurt me around, but that could be coincidence. I’ve helped check other people’s energies (as well as my own) before, but my knowledge is limited and I don’t think I have the sense of self to pursue that right now. 15. Favorite song? At no point in my life have I had just one, but “Fury” by Muse and “Love is Mystical” by the Cold War Kids are up there right now.  16. Favorite movie? Wonder Woman was so, so good, y’all. I also like  17. Who would be your ideal partner? daisy ridley right now, my standards are both really low and really high. Just...someone I get along with and who gives a rat’s ass?  18. Do you want children? I think I might, yeah. Depends on who I end up with, but I like the idea of making small humans and showing them how the world works. Teaching others has always helped me figure shit out, anyway.  19. Do you want a church wedding? nooooo thank you 20. Are you religious? Not in the sense that I participate in organized religion, but I do believe in aspects of many different religions. I’m particularly fond of reincarnation. 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? I had to have my chin stitched up when I was like, 3. And also I had my tonsils out at 10.  22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nope, and I’d prefer to keep it that way.  23. Have you ever met any celebrities? I met Paramore the summer before my junior year, and I met Jensen, Jared, and Misha from SPN my senior year! 24. Baths or showers? Showers. 25. What color socks are you wearing? au naturale i’m barefoot bitches 26. Have you ever been famous? one time i did a drawing and it got 100 notes 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? noooooo maybe C-list at most 28. What type of music do you like? I’ll listen to just about anything, but I lean towards alt rock, metal, punk, some indie if it isn’t too hippie-ish. 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? nah 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Like...7?  31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my stomach with my top half wrapped around a pillow or a blanket.  32. How big is your house? Two-story, four bedrooms. Parents raised three wild kiddos here 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? A smoothie or a sandwich when I’m actually up in time.  34. Have you ever fired a gun? No, but I’d like to at least try. 35. Have you ever tried archery? yes and i ain’t no katniss 36. Favorite clean word? Maverick (that’s one of many) 37. Favorite swear word? Fuck. it’s just so versatile 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 60 hours or so 39. Do you have any scars? On my heels, chin, thighs, hips, and over my wristbones. I’m clumsy, have pets, and have self-harmed. 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? An anon flirted w me on Tumblr but it was someone in my French class, lel. Wasn’t a secret for too long. 41. Are you a good liar? White lies, yes. Big lies, noooo. 42. Are you a good judge of character? Generally? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Not a whole lot on my own, but I’ll pick up anything I hear regularly. 44. Do you have a strong accent? Not really? I just kinda talk and drop bits of different accents here and there. I don’t think I have that much of a St. Louis accent. 45. What is your favorite accent? I have a soft spot for slight Southern accents. Eastern European and Australian are also awesome.  46. What is your personality type? sad 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? A $120 jacket from Zumiez. It’s HUF brand but I bought it for the wolves on it tbh 48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes and it comes in handy w girlfriends 49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie  50. Left or right handed? Right 51. Are you scared of spiders? I used to, but I’m getting better. They startle me but I’ve carried a wolf spider outside so 52. Favorite food? changes by the hour tbh tho chicken is always good 53. Favorite foreign food? Shepherd’s Pie.  54. Are you a clean or messy person? Clean, but disorganized. My room is cluttered but not like, dirty.  55. Most used phrase? "Oh my god.” 56. Most used word? like 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? depends. not usually over 45 minutes unless I’m getting Fancy.  58. Do you have much of an ego? Not really.  59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Yes. 60. Do you talk to yourself? More than anyone else. 61. Do you sing to yourself? Yes, especially when I can’t hear my own voice. 62. Are you a good singer? N o 63. Biggest Fear? Forgetting and being forgotten. 64. Are you a gossip? drama that don’t involve me is the best drama 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Goodwill Hunting aaaaaa 66. Do you like long or short hair? On myself, defs long. I love pulling it back too much for short.  67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Yep! I 68. Favorite school subject? English. Also psychology.  69. Extrovert or Introvert? Extrovert with trust issues, abandonment issues, and that shuts down a lot. and also clinical depression 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No, but I’ve been snorkeling! 71. What makes you nervous? Anything has the potential to make me nervous, tbh. But not knowing things is The Worst 72. Are you scared of the dark? Oh god yes 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? I do when it’s something small. Big mistakes are things you gotta figure out for yourself. 74. Are you ticklish? Less and less over time, tbh.  75. Have you ever started a rumor? Never on purpose. I’ve heard a few things I’ve said get distorted and spread but I try to Cut That Shit Out Quick 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? I was a President of a few clubs in high school, captain of the swim team, and a manager for the track and cross country teams.  77. Have you ever drank underage? Whenever I can, tbh. Not even to get drunk, necessarily, it just tastes good 78. Have you ever done drugs? Only weed with a close friendo of mine. I also may have saved a few narcotics from my wisdom tooth removal for a rainy day 79. Who was your first real crush? My best friend in middle school. That was a doozy.  80. How many piercings do you have? I have doubles in my ears, so 4. I’d like triples and possibly a septum piercing.  81. Can you roll your Rs? Yep! Sometimes I do it by accident when speaking 82. How fast can you type? Not very tbh 83. How fast can you run? That depends on why I’m running. 84. What color is your hair? Dirty blonde. 85. What color are your eyes? Blue-gray. 86. What are you allergic to? Certain kinds of deodorant and also tumblr 87. Do you keep a journal? I mean I scribble down stream of consciousness shit when trying to Cope w things, but I don’t keep one regularly.  88. What do your parents do? Dad’s an engineer, mom’s the HR person for a whackass ad company w fun people 89. Do you like your age? I mean I’d rather be able to legally drink, but I’m a legal adult but it doesn’t feel Real yet so I guess it ain’t all bad 90. What makes you angry? When people are mean for literally no good reason. 91. Do you like your own name? it’s aiight. people trying to pronounce my last name is amusing 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? I like the name Oliver a lot for a guy? But really I guess it’d depend on my what my wife likes 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? dog 94. What are your strengths? I know people and can communicate pretty well, and I’m generally good at being pretty friendly. Also I can swim so if someone throws me in the water the joke is on them 95. What are your weaknesses? Can’t be left alone for long periods of time, relying on one person for everything, and ignoring myself and other friends, compulsive tendencies, and an overall obsessive personality. 96. How did you get your name? Named after my dad’s grandma, iirc. Except Claire instead of Clara.  97. Were your ancestors royalty? I’m sure someone was idk 98. Do you have any scars? didn’t I answer this already 99. Color of your bedspread? Black and white at home, orange and purple in my dorm. 100. Color of your room? Very dark forest green. I like it lots.

[beautifulramblingbrains]

Bound By Chains - Chapter 20

Pairing: Eric/OC Fandom: Divergent Rating: M - This story will continually portray sensitive subjects. Trigger warning.

She’s bound to a monster. And he has personality issues.

A/N: Thanks to everyone for the continuous support/messages/asks. It means the world. 

Tags: (If you want on or off the list, just ask/PM) 

@dauntlessmetalmom @equalstrashflavoredtrash @badassbaker @red-diary @pathybo @murmelinchen @insertamazingwords  @feminamortem @halefiresurvivor @suchlonelymuchsoul @elaacreditava @lauraaan182 @synnocence @jcause @glittergiirlgg @platitudinise @frecklefaceb @mimigemrose @sparklemichele @beltz2016 

This is anger,

Sarah finally decides while hidden beneath the shadows of the archlike corridors. Her hands tremble by her sides, face flushing almost instantly at the sight.

There on the other side of the pit, she watches Wayne flirt, touch, and lean in dangerously close to another woman. From his body language and the way she’s acting, there is more to it. The piercing shriek of the woman’s laughter cuts through Sarah’s body and by now she’s had enough, turning away from his wandering eager hands, pawing all over another person and not her sister.

She felt physically sick for Mary. Mary who didn’t know, but a Mary who had messaged when apparently she hadn’t heard from Wayne for days and wondered if there was a problem. God damn right there was a problem.

Sarah turns a little too hastily, almost walking straight into Four who had crept up behind her. “Oh, my god! You scared the life out of me.”

He snorts, trying to hide his smile. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Another loud shriek of laughter has Sarah frowning out into the crowd. “Wayne Tulver. Now that’s a fine specimen.”

“He’s nothing but an insect.”

Four cocks his head, “I know he’s been with your sister a lot. Must hurt to see this.”

“I’m becoming numb to the surprises of Dauntless. No wonder they are the warrior faction.”

“Congratulations.” Sarah’s brow puckers, not at him but riled from everything happening in front of her. “-On the baby.” Four grimaces when Sarah quickly folds her jacket over the top of her continuously protruding stomach, feeling somewhat guilty now that he had mentioned it.

“Thanks.” For a minute they stand in silence, staring out together, till eventually Sarah clears her throat. “I better go. I can’t watch this anymore. I’ve seen enough.”

“Sarah, wait…” Four turns, diverting his eyes, something Sarah had finally tried to push from her everyday demeanor. Going head to head with Eric every day; the floor would become very boring. “I just wanted to say to take care…” Sarah stares at him a little while, her lips parting a fraction, trying to suss him out. “…to be careful.”

“I’m perfectly well.”

“It’s Eric I’m talking about. I shouldn’t really say anything, but I can’t, not when-” Four motions to her stomach. “there is a child involved.”

“Eric would kill you for this conversation we are about to have.” Surprise creeps up on Four’s face. “If you think for a second I’m blind to what Eric is capable of, think again. If you think I haven’t seen the happenings between factions and the side mishandlings of situations, you may as well have called me a fool.” However, her words aren’t malicious, and she tenderly touches his shoulder. “Thank you for your concern, Four.”

The petite blonde then walks away without another word, leaving Four in his thoughts staring out after her. The Abnegation was learning, she was smart, smarter than he had originally thought. Now he saw what Clair saw. What they all saw.

Potential.

The choice of food was detestable but however inedible, convenient.

Sarah flips the fatty looking pork, suddenly feeling incredibly full and decides to eat only the small selection of carrots and green beans.

“No, eat the meat as well.” Eric claps her on the back lightly, then swings his leg over the bench imposingly close to her.

“Have you seen that meat?” She cringes, probing it with her fork. “Anyway, I need to speak with you.”

“Oh, please, please don’t let it be another work based, unimportant, minor question about whether or not the office furniture is ineptly placed, I can’t take it.” She had never said anything like that in her life. He was mocking her, and she knows so because Eric smirks.

Regardless of Eric’s uncontrollable night terrors, he had been somewhat more cautious and softer with her in the day. Maybe trying to make some palpable way to make it up to her, or disguise the fact he was still suffering. Eric was the master at pretending his problems didn’t exist.

“Actually, it’s nothing to do with work.”

Eric puts a piece in his mouth and chews, his face slowly begins scrunching up, his chewing suddenly hesitant. “You’re fucking right, it’s disgusting.”

“I told you.” Sarah begins snorting, then full on laughing behind her hand as he openly shows his disgust, “You’ve gone really pale.”

“I’m so close to heaving right now,”  Eric mutters, deadly serious. Eventually, he swallows. “Need to look into that today, whoever is cooking this shit.” He’s scouring the table for a drink.

“Here, eat this, cover the taste.” Sarah holds up a floppy green bean while still giggling, and shoves it towards him. Oddly, he does, in fact, eat it.

Even if Eric looked pale and their relationship had been come and go, she does notice how handsome he is while casually sitting next to her. Especially while not so stressed as usual. His hair had recently been cut, the sides impossibly short and left with an easily manageable length on top. Nothing fussy like when she had first met him. There was only a shadowing of his facial hair, his complexion clear. The thought was amusing that perhaps he got a more manageable haircut for becoming a dad, preparing himself already.

“You’re staring again.”

“No, I was thinking… I’m really angry.”

“Yeah, you really look it.”

“You distracted me. But I am really angry. I saw Wayne-“

“Sarah, don’t. I’m not getting involved in your younger sister's problems.”

“But Wayne hasn’t spoken to her, nor given her any idea why-“

“You want the truth? The truth hurts,” Eric says while grabbing a bread roll.

“Something would be nice.”

“Why does any man suddenly stop talking to someone they have been chasing for weeks?” Sarah shrugs. Of course, she wouldn’t know and he sighs in pain of her virtue. “…They got what they wanted.”

“You mean?...oh my god…” Unwelcome flashing images of Wayne and Mary together haunt the back of her mind, suddenly reddening her cheeks.

“It’s for the best. You don’t want her in a relationship with him, do you?” Sarah shakes her head and he nudges her leg with his. “She learned the hard way.”

“It’s going to destroy her.” Eric’s too busy shoving food into his face and she gives a long sigh, still mad, but something else clouding her thoughts.

“So…” she draws out, glancing at the table, “…that means you didn’t get what you wanted. And still haven’t��from me…”

There’s only the slightest pause in his movements and he cocks his head to the side. “Are you flirting with me?” Sarah’s cheeks turn a whole other shade of pink and he moves closer.

“No…you just said…”

“I know exactly what I said. Are you looking for me to compliment you? Tell you how important you are to my life? How I can’t live without you?” Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, he watches her tongue dart out, moistening her lips, exactly as he’d predicted. Eric moves closer till their noses almost touch, forgetting exactly how publicly noticeable they were.

“You know I hate compliments.”

“And you know I hate lying to you.” Eric moves his body to shroud them, her own turned towards him with his hands somewhere in her hair, gripping the back of her neck, the only thing keeping her from melting into the seat.

Sarah had missed him like this. The ever-knowing Dauntless Leader. Quick thinking. Alert. A few days ago she couldn’t stand to be within a few feet of him, now, she wanted nothing more than to have his hands against her skin. It had been a while since affection had been either one of their priorities. Not even comforting words had been shared.

Eric had nightmares. Eric didn’t sleep. Eric was obnoxious in the day. That’s how the usual scenario played out. She just wanted something.

Those blue oceanic eyes swim between his as she asks in a whisper, “Lie to me.”

“Why would I lie to you?” Sarah can’t answer while caught under his attentions, and he knows, using his thumb to pull on her bottom lip. “I can’t live without you.”

“Now don’t lie to me.”

“I can’t live without you.” He smirks, closing the small distance, kissing her publicly for the first time. But the moment their lips touch, quickly the moment is gone as he pulls back, still with that all-knowing gleam to his mouth. He watches Sarah's face twist and she puts a hand on her stomach. “He’s moving?”

“I think he heard your voice,” Sarah says shyly, her chin tucked down, comforting herself with dainty fingers swirling over the material of her dress.

Eric continues to watch her, the way she holds herself too maturely, wiser than many other girls her age. He would almost be daring to say motherly.

There were many things that always grabbed his attention, causing him to pause at her appearance that little while longer than necessary. But at least he was a little more subtle about it and not caught outright staring like she usually would be. However, watching her now, he was sure he would never forget these small instances, burying them deep within his memory to recall at a more troubling time. But doting moments like this always came with backlash and guilt; something that had been gracing him more often than he liked. And that’s what forces his next words. “I’m not going to the gym tonight. I’ll be home early.”

“Oh.”

“Did you have plans?”

“I was going to look at a few baby things, you know. It’s typical, I only decided this morning. I didn’t know you were going to be home.” She’s still keeping her eyes downcast, flattening imaginary creases from her skirt.

“If I can get off earlier I’ll join you.” Sarah smiles faintly on his words but doesn’t keep her hopes up.

The only tailor shop in Dauntless is exactly how she had expected. The choice was minimal, the clothes for children shoved at the back of the small shop that was situated in excavated rock. She sighs, holding up a blue romper, one of two.

They even smelled like rock.

“Most of my stuff I got tailored.” Clair walks up behind her.

“Is that a thing here?” Sarah is still frowning at the simplicity and how, overall, Dauntless didn’t seem to take the time to invest in children too much.

“Do you know how difficult it is to find a decent tailor, though? For my kids, I had an old lady who I met completely coincidentally because we ended up moving next door to her when Adrianna was due. She’s now retired and in the home.”

“Home?”

“Don’t see many old folks around here, do you? Where do you think they go? Dauntless doesn’t have time to run a nursing joint plus military.”

“I suppose.”

“But, you’ve hardly seen half of Dauntless.” Clair’s bluntness doesn’t affect her anymore and Sarah sighs, again, for the fifteenth time. “Eric must be busy.”

Just the mention of Eric and her back stiffens. “I don’t want any of this. I’m done here. You ready to go?” In Clair’s hands are a few hangers of stuff for her daughter. The older woman merely forces a smile and nods.

Sarah had her own tailor anyway, a lot closer to home.

Mary’s phone rings for a long time before she answers. “Hello,” Sarah says a little too sweetly, buttering her toast she’d made herself and balancing the phone precariously on her shoulder. Ironic.

“Give me a minute. Let me go upstairs.” In the background, she can hear Mary’s labored breathing, her feet stomping up the stairs. “Okay...”

Sarah licks the butter off her fingers. “I think there is something we need to talk about. Well, more than one thing…” Mary doesn’t say anything, so she continues. “Have you…” She purses her lips, fighting the words. “…have you slept with Wayne?” Just as the sentence falls from her lips, Eric enters the apartment, shrugging off his jacket and looking at her curiously.

“He said he loved me.” Mary’s voice breaks, the tell-tale sign of her crying quietly to herself. “Now he won’t speak to me.”

Rubbing her temple in vain, Eric’s hands skim around her waist, pulling her back against him. “I’m sorry, Mary. I tried to-“

“I’m an idiot.” Mary sniffs, “I should’ve known,” she then coughs. “...How’s my nephew anyway?”

“Fine…perfectly fine… Mary just know that-“

“What was the other thing you wanted to speak about?” Sarah turns to face Eric, his eyes lingering along her neck, flashing up to meet hers suddenly. It was obvious Mary didn’t particularly want to talk about Wayne.

“I need baby clothes. I’ve checked Dauntless out and it’s pretty basic.”

“Ouch,” expresses Eric quietly.

“You want me to make them?” Mary’s voice gets higher. “Are you sure? I’ve never done babies stuff before?”

“Only if you wanted to. If not, I’ll try and find another alternative. But I really wanted you to as I know how amazing you are.” Sarah bites her lip, smiling, hoping, praying for her sister to say yes. Unexpectedly Eric leans down, claiming her lips.

“Get off the phone,” he whispers.

“Okay, let me have a look at a few basic designs and I’ll get back to you.”

“You are the best. Are you going to be okay?” Sarah picks up a slice of toast, biting into it under Eric’s watchful eye.

“I’ve got some school work. I’m just going to concentrate on that and, well, your request.”

“You can call anytime.”

“No she can’t,” Eric mumbles, lifting her suddenly to sit on the counter. Sarah still grips her toast in hand but grows continuously ticklish to his random prodding touches. Especially the ones that reach for the buttons at the top of her dress, undoing them one by one till she whacks his hand away.

“I’m so unsure now of when I’m next going to be able to see you.”

With another massive bite still to chew in her mouth, Sarah only manages, “Soon.” Fending off Eric’s assault.

“I hope it’s not too long. I really wanted to see the week by week difference…”

Eric rips the top part of her dress open, the significant noise of the fabric shredding from his strength and exposing the pale bra underneath. Sarah’s chest heaves, managing to catch herself as she tilts back with his needing hands on her thighs, pulling them impossibly closer together.

The toast becomes a casualty.

“Listen, Mary…” Sarah barely hears her sister's reply as Eric whips the phone from her hand and cancels the call. “That was mean.” But her voice is airy, her mouth parting till his lips press against the valley of her breasts, his tongue swirling up towards her neck.

“Shoot me.” Eric smiles on her skin, picking her up and making a break for the bedroom.

“I really, really, like this.” Eric looks smug over the report of the renovations, mainly at Sarah who is furiously pink, quietly sitting in her plastic bucket seat to one side in his office.

Sarah’s pillow talk the night before was delightful.

The confused Dauntless personnel standing at attention in front of him shifts uneasily. “Er, thanks.”

“Is it almost finished?”

“Just a week. If everything goes according to plan.”

“Great, so that means the end of February...” Eric mainly says to himself. “So March. I want it finished by the fifth. That’s plenty of time. In the meantime, I’ll be checking progress. I’ll be visiting this evening.”

“Yes, sir.”

Eric merely nods as dismissal. With the door shut and alone, Eric pushes her embarrassment further. “I want to do it again.”

“Stop.”

“Well, I liked it. What can I say?... shit.” The little Abnegation had also let that little cuss fly as he took her from behind.

Sarah is basically sweating from the heat. “I think you did actually like it.” Eric swigs the water next to him. Whatever was in the vials that he was dropping into his water, was working. Two days, no nightmares. Sarah didn’t particularly feel comfortable with it, though. But as long as it helped.

Just as she smiles cheekily from her reply and Eric still keeps his casual simper on his face, the door busts open.

“Sir…” Two Dauntless guards; the definition now Sarah saw from one simple strip of mauve on one arm, drags a rather volatile, spit-talking man into the room. Eric just stares flatly, barely moved by the scene in front of him. “…This was a domestic, but he’s officially assaulted two officers now.”

Eric sighs exasperatedly. The volatile man lifts his chin towards Sarah’s wide eyes, spitting. “What the fuck you looking at?”

“Has he taken anything?” Eric asks the guards and they merely shrug.

“I’m down here!” The irate man bunches his shoulders together, then relaxes, holding up his hands, “Look, look, I’m alright. I’m cool.” The man looks older than Eric, his head shiny with a V-shaped looking beard hanging from his chin. The red sleeves under his black bodywarmer are frayed and ripped and he looked like he had been in one of Eric’s intense training courses for about ten weeks.

Sarah inwardly tells herself not to back away, or move, or even breathe.

“If you’re cool, you can tell me what you have done, then? Can’t you?” Eric taps a pen on the desk. “No hearsay.”

“My wife is fucking another man,” he mumbles from his kneeling position.

“Boo fucking hoo,” Eric retorts quickly and the bearded man's eyes narrow.

“Nobody does that to me, nobody!” His voice crackles as if all the screaming he’d been doing at everyone had finally taken its toll. “I cut the little bastard. I don’t give a fuck. He’s lucky I didn’t skin him!” The man stumbles to his feet, the guards pinning his arms back behind him again.

There is a shift on Eric’s face as he peers between how disgusted the guards are and the anger resonating off him. “What of your wife?”

The bearded guy throws his head back and laughs.

“He maimed her, sir.”

“No prick will look at that silly cunt again!” he  proclaims, still with his hoarse laughter and Sarah gasps, putting a hand to her mouth. Like a vulture, he catches it immediately. “You’d look pretty with a lovely slice down your face and all! Stiff bitch. Fuck the lot-“ He doesn’t get to finish.

A shot cracks into the room, whipping the man’s head back and forth, forcing the guards to jump to each side, letting the bearded guy slump heavily to the floor. His blood sprays the room behind him, but the droplets ricochet and fan across the room, hitting Sarah’s face. The guards get the brunt of it as they stare down at the unexpected horror.

“Problem solved,” Eric calmly puts.

Sarah stands, arms tensed, a squeak just leaving her throat. Wiping with numb hands at her face, she turns for the door, running the corridor till she gets to Clair. The old woman’s eyes widen significantly. “Get it off!” The more she rubs, the worse it gets.

“Stop, wait.” Clair grabs a tissue, licking it to wipe her face and batting off Sarah’s flailing hands.

“Clear this up,” Eric orders from his office and strolls out into the lobby with timely steps, completely at ease with what he had done.

“She’s pregnant, Eric!” Clair finally snaps, still dabbing at Sarah’s face. “She’s a Stiff!” The motherly and worried tone in her voice stumps him. “She’s not used to this. You can’t do that!”

Eric rolls his eyes. “She’s seen worse.”

“Worse than blowing open somebody's skull?”

Eric studies Sarah, face white and shaking. Clair pushes her down into her seat. “He threatened her. I used my initiative. And if you don’t mind, I don’t like being spoken to like that.”

“It’s extreme. This is above you, Eric.”

“Oh, shut up. Go eat someone else’s ass.” He waves his hand dismissively. “I’ll take her home.”

“No.”

In the background, Sarah mumbles, “His head…it…” with her eyebrows bowed significantly while recalling the incident.

Clair takes a step towards him. “I’ll take her to mine. You and I both know you won’t be able to stay with her all day.” Eric chews his cheek. “You know I will look after her. For the sake of the child... Keep this up and I wouldn’t be surprised if she lost it, then how do you think she would cope with that?”

Eric’s face glazes over. A faint shudder in his chest. He backs off almost immediately. “Fine… I want you to call me every hour.”

When he walks away, Clair watches him pinch the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. She takes a deep breath, bending down to Sarah. “Come on. Let’s get you to mine. Careful now.”

 Sarah’s eyes flutter from her position on Clair’s couch. It’s bright, clean and light in the secretary's apartment. But that’s not what wakes her, it is the sound of children.

However groggy she is, she sits up slowly, letting her senses come to. There is a partition wall separating the lounge from the kitchen. In the middle sat a square opening so it was easy to see between the two rooms, and, Sarah guessed, to serve food as well.

As she rounds through a small doorway, there, at a perfectly square table sat Clair’s two children, busying themselves with drawings. The two bright pairs of eyes glance up at her and they still.

“Hello.” Sarah cups her hands, and Clair turns from the sink, smiling quickly.

“Kids, why don’t you go start getting ready for bed?” Jacob, Clair’s son, hugs her quickly and Adrianna is quick to push him, racing each other down towards what she could only fathom as the bedrooms.

“How are you feeling?”

Sarah shrugs, taking in all the personal memorabilia on the walls. One specifically being a family of Erudite. “Are you Erudite?”

“I was. A long time ago.” Clair places the dishcloth on her shoulder. “Do you want something to eat or drink?”

“No, I’m fine.”

Clair opens her mouth to respond but the front door swings open with a tall man with bags in each hand. “This is my husband.” She introduces him as he marches over, grabbing Sarah’s hand and roughly shaking it. He doesn’t seem to know his own strength, but however burly, his smile is beaming.

“Greg.”

“I’m Sarah.” Sarah does notice his eyes fall to her stomach, then to Clair questioningly. She watches as he immediately goes to his wife to peck her on the cheek, cooing a sentimental word. In fear of imposing, Sarah looks away till they are finished.

“Nice to meet you. I’ll, um, I’ll get the kids ready for bed.” He nods in parting, the kids giggling when he finds them messing about in their rooms and they shriek in excitement. Sarah’s gut drops. This was normal family life. Two hardworking parents who loved each other. Their kids were beautiful, well-mannered and adored. It stung like salt in a wound that the realization of this possibly being her and Eric was very few and far between.

“Sit down,”�� Clair orders, pulling the seat in front of her. “We need to talk.” The chair legs squeak on the floor and the older woman places her hands neatly in front of her. “What Eric did was wrong. He does a lot of things...wrong.”

“I’m well acquainted with him.” Politely she sits, stiffly and altogether cautious of where this was going.

“I’m going to be honest here. When I first met you, I didn't care for you. You were another stranger, a gray walking through our doors.”

“I’m not looking for sympathy.”

“I don’t have sympathy for you. I have sympathy for your child unknowingly being born into this. You knew about Eric.” She points provokingly.

“By that point it was already too late.” Sarah sternly says back, keeping Clair’s eyes that seem so determined to break her.

“Is that what you are going to be saying when Eric one day loses his temper? Are you still going to sit around and hope for the best? ...It’s what you’ve done since you’ve got here…”

“I don’t know whether you are trying to insult me, or aggravate me, or make me feel any more worthless than I do already.”

“I’m trying to teach you…And god damn you do have spirit...you are so stubborn!” Clair rubs her brow furiously and Sarah tries to keep her composure, suddenly feeling presented with her school teacher or being potentially investigated by authority. “I’m trying to teach you that it doesn’t have to be like this.”

“You could lose your job over this, Clair.”

But Clair’s too caught up in her swelling of emotions. “My god, I’m trying to teach you because your own parents are incapable! I don't know why, but I feel responsible for you. You remind me of my daughter.”

Sarah is speechless, she inhales through her nose quickly, peering down to the ground. “I never intended-”

“Stop with the Abnegation shit. Stop pretending that having this baby it will make things suddenly get better. Stop pretending that you can live like this, like a…caged bird all your life. Stop deceiving-”

“I love him!” Sarah stands, her whole body shaking. “I love him…” she says more quietly, trying to grip her furiously trembling hands. “I love him because not everything he does is always bad. I love him for the unguarded, off-duty leader at night when we are alone. The smiles that he doesn’t show anybody. The only person there for me when my sister died, when I really needed someone. He was there.”

“And so is the delicious traps that tempt its prey down from the tree.”

“I want to leave.” Sarah’s crying, rubbing at her face with her sleeves and pacing. “Let me out, I want to leave.”

“Sarah, please, think about it. I’m trying to help you. I know I can help. I know people.” Clair cautiously steps towards her, arms outstretched, waving in comfort. “There is someone I-”

Just the touch of her fingertip and Sarah pushes her away. “Get off of me!” Her voice screeches, causing the older lady to startle backward. “Don't touch me. Don’t come near me… Keep away from me and my baby!”

Greg appears from one of the bedrooms “Is everything okay?” and Clair waves him off.

“I’ll take you back to Eric’s.”

“You will do no such thing. Thank you for your hospitality, but I’m one hundred percent sure I have now outstayed my welcome.” The Abnegation shoves on her boots by the door, grabbing her gray long strapped bag from the floor and placing it over her shoulder before impatiently waiting without a word for Clair to type in the code.

As the golden blonde hair disappears down the corridor, Greg slides his arm across Clair’s shoulders. “You tried.”

“It takes time to come to terms with reality. She’s stubborn and equally afraid. That’s all it is. ”

“Perhaps it’s time to think of a new way.”

Clair narrows her eyes. “...perhaps. But with Eric, we don’t have to do too much.”

 Having not been to Clair’s before, navigating the way home proved tiresome. But once Sarah found herself at a twirling staircase caked in dust and dirt, a place she guessed wasn’t used often, she was fascinated to find it to be a staircase linked to the rooftops that she’d never used before. Sarah’s phone begins vibrating in her pocket, she knows instantly who this is. “Hello, Eric.”

“Stay where you are.”

Sarah pants, her fitness having gone to pot since confined to Dauntless. “...Okay.”

“Why are you out of breath? Why didn’t you go down? Don’t answer that, just stay there.” The phone clicks when he disconnects the call and she puts it back in the annoying gray bag that's hit her hip with every step that she’s taken. Looking up through the middle, there is only one floor left till the roof exit, so she continues up regardless of Eric’s warning. The cold air from outside was dusting down and just gracing her, enough to have her long to feel it for real, against her own skin freely.

The door creaks, slamming closed behind her. The breeze is freezing, sub-zero and biting, instantly stinging her hands and forcing a dry cough from the sudden change in temperature. But from the climb it is a relief, flooding her with awakening endorphins, especially as the sun sets, beaming across her pale skin.

Sarah shuts her eyes; much like she did when it snowed, taking a moment. This was release. In her third eye, she saw herself stepping onto the ledge, arms outstretched and toppling herself forwards. Not hurtling to the ground however, floating, down towards sun-warmed grass. The density soft beneath her feet, far from concrete and ruined buildings.

Boots crunch on the gravel behind her and she lets the smile that had grown, drop, not bothering to face Eric. “Sorry, I just needed-”

“Stiffs shouldn’t go wandering on their own. It’s against the rules.”

Sarah turns so fast she almost loses her footing. “Wayne…” She’s about to ask where Eric is and catches herself, thinking quickly. “If you have come to gloat, go ahead. There is nothing you can say that I don’t already know.”

“Nah…” He runs his tongue along his teeth, stepping closer. “Just getting some air. Funny seeing you here.” Sarah turns her back to him when he becomes too imposing. He keeps shifting behind her till he bumps his chest into her back, and she can feel his breath against her neck. “You still are a beautiful little thing, aren’t you. Really what mother nature intended for natural beauty.” She cringes as a finger paws at the flyaway hair by her ear.

“I have no idea what my sister saw in you…”

“More than you took the time to notice.” When he inhales by her head, Sarah turns, raising her palm to his face. But he catches it, clucking his tongue mockingly. “Why you so mad?”

“You shouldn’t touch me like that. And-and how dare you use my sister. She’s young, and you’re just…” Sarah stammers. “...filth, utter filth.” Becoming suddenly fearful doesn’t help her train of thought. She manages to sidestep him and head back towards the door. She doesn't make it far.

Wayne spins her, pulling her out of the direct line of the door and pushing her against the brick next to it. “Listen you little bitch. I do what I want to do. So what I screwed your sister? She enjoyed it. Maybe, for the hell of it, and for your high-and-mighty attitude, I’ll go back for round two, put my dick in her mouth. I bet she’d let me. In fact, she’d beg me to.”

“Why have you got such a problem with me? Why? What have I ever done to you?”

“You exist. That’s my problem. Prancing around in front of me. Eric under your thumb...nah… I tell you what is funny, though, you always want what you can’t have.” When his hand strokes the top of her arm, Sarah peers down, connecting the dots, a disturbed breath whipping out in a coiling cloud between them. Slowly, she looks up, and he smiles. His mane of hair is falling in front of his face causing him to look all the more maniacal in that moment. The stench of cigarettes is putrid. But still, from somewhere, she finds the confidence to keep her head up.

With quivering lips, Sarah speaks through a tensed jaw, holding back the war of emotions threatening to consume her. “You’re sick.” But he’s too close now, too close to her mouth, his eyes dropping down her body. She whimpers, leaning back against the wall till she could feel the brick scratching her scalp. One hand protectively sits over her bump, the other pushing against his chest. “Don’t.”

“I have to know…”

She can almost feel his lip graze against hers. The thickness to his voice evident in blind desire.

“I have to know what you are like…”

The catch on the door chinks and Wayne turns his head. In that split second, Sarah makes a choice. It feels like in that second, to only seem like a heartbeat.

Half a heartbeat to catch Wayne by surprise. Half a heartbeat to place his hand from her shoulder unknowingly against her breast.

Eric’s bulk fills the doorway and he turns his head, quickly assessing what was in front of him. “What the fuck?”

Sarah ducks, shamefully hiding her face towards the brick wall behind her. Wayne rights himself, clearing his throat and holding up his arms in mercy. “That was not what it looked like.”

“You want to tell me what that looked like?” Eric scans Sarah again when she turns to the casual tone of his voice.

Unusually calm. Unusually collected. Completely deadly.

Wiping at her eyes, Eric holds her gaze a little longer. With her initial step being timid, she begins slipping against the wall till she falls behind him, the dainty fingers gently curling on the arm of his jacket.

However, she doesn't say anything in fear of how weak of a liar she was. Though, most of what Wayne had done was inappropriate, what she had done: necessary.

“You serious, man?” Wayne begins, motioning between them. “I... would not. She forced my hand! Look at her, playing innocent. We were arguing…”

As Wayne continues to attempt to make pathetic excuses, Eric sneers down towards Sarah latched onto his arm. Sarah’s eyes are wide, guarding against Wayne prattling on in front of them, flicking up to his warily

Eric reaches down to his knife on his leg, unsheathing it. “You wouldn’t lie to me, Sarah?” He exhales, juggling the weight of the knife in his hand. Sarah shakes her head, barely able to stand with the air constricting in her lungs.

“He touched me.”

With an effortless flick, the knife invisibly whips through the air, hitting Wayne in his thigh. The cry afterward is deafening and he stumbles immediately to the ground, straining his breath through his teeth.

Eric pushes her back, “Turn around. Face the door. But you don’t leave this fucking roof,” he warns her, stomping off towards Wayne.

Sarah tries to find a happy place to disappear to, but it’s hard when Wayne chants desperately, “What the fuck you doing? What the fuck you doing?!” his voice high and strangled as Eric edges closer. She hears his body dragged from the floor. “All of this over her. Fuck, Eric. I know her type. You know her type. I don’t know what the fuck you see in her, man. She’s just a Stiff. Bang her sister and you’ll know there is no difference. I don’t know why you waste your time.”

“I don’t care what you see in her…”

From where her back is turned, Sarah startles as Wayne screams. It wasn’t a yell or a shout. It was the sheer terror of a man in immense pain. Wayne’s boots thrash against the gravel, his shriek turning into a long sobbing moan.

Against her better judgment, Sarah turns at the audible thud of a body hitting the floor.

Balled like a fetus, Wayne whines loudly, the torrent of blood pulsing down from his face and pooling onto the gravel.   Eric stands with his right hand spread by his side, the entirety of his thumb red, splatters from the force he had used flicked upon his clothing

“...but whatever you did see in her…” Eric continues. “...Will never be the same.”

Sarah thinks of all Wayne’s backhanded comments. The time he slammed her hand down on the cutlery and threatened her. The time he stirred the knowledge of Eric and Nina together to get back at her. Sarah thinks of her sister. Then, for once, of herself.

She would do anything for the ones she loved.

An eye for an eye.

[warrenkoles]

For the ask meme: Psycho, Blair Witch, Hellraiser, The Ring and Saw!!!

psycho: do you collect anything or want to? if so, what?

i collect stamps but like the stamps that get sent to me (i cut them off the envelope and tape/glue them into journals), ticket stubs....ive also starting liking these little cryptid toys called cryptkins altho they r blind box type collectibles which i am not v big on. there are tons of things i would like to collect but don’t have the money for it, primarily like really old books and first editions and such. 

blair witch: what’s your biggest pet peeve?

idk im an asshole so lots of little things bug me............chewing noises.......people standing too close to me in a line (or just in general but it’s usually like waiting in line at the store).........cis ppl saying the phrase “he/she”........there’s just a lot 

hellraiser: do you have any tattoos/piercings? do you want any?

actually yes lol. i have 2 tattoos on my left foot & left ankle. on the top of my foot i got one with my mom that’s abt flowers to algernon & the ankle is with my sister and we share an edgar allan poe quote. my family has always been huge into tattoos and i actually got both when i was like 15 lmfao. i did try to pierce my ears once but they got super infected and it was rly painful so i closed them and never tried again - but i have been reconsidering it after learning more since i got it done at like claires or somewhere similar, that maybe if i get it done proper it would be okay. but idk. also i was legit just thinking abt this an hour ago but i have been thinking abt getting another tattoo.....one of the first tattoos i ever really wanted was the mcr lyric “and after seeing what we saw, can we still reclaim our innocence?” and i was just thinking abt it again. maybe one of these days....

the ring: if you could visit/live anywhere in the world, where would you?

oh i have no idea.....there are so many places since i’ve never rly been anywhere due to being poor & not even having a passport. i don’t like the heat at all and prefer colder climates so i’m actually not super into like tropical/island/etc. type places ? realistically since i only speak english i think the uk would be really nice/not stressful for me to travel to...., also maybe the netherlands type area....also new zealand is so beautiful that would be nice to visit. even canada wld be pretty cool to say ive been out of the country lol. also within the usa i’ve been to a fair amount of places but i think alaska would be a very interesting place esp if there was a way to support indigenous businesses without being disruptive or anything. 

like it would be super cool to visit okinawa and finally connect with that side of my family but at this point i just dont think that is very realistic for a lot of different reasons. 

saw: give a controversial opinion >:3

ahhh hmmm i did answer this on the other one but is there another one that i can think of ? uhhh well. i know the issues with hamilton the musical & also just lmm in general and completely agree with them all. but i still think the songs r rly catchy. esp for a musical since im honestly not rly a musical person. im cringe :”c

[c-alliope]

3

121 questions

Where is the person you gave your heart to for the first time? No idea right now. Maybe at home? Idk

What were you doing at ten last night? I just got home and I had a shower.

Did you have a dream last night? Not that I remember.

Want someone back in your life? Kind of. I think it’d be nice, but at the same time maybe it’s for the best..

Are you good at giving directions? I’m terrible at it.

Do you prefer hot or cold weather? Hot weather is my jam.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now? Uhh.. Probably. I’d feel pretty ew though.

If you could go back in time, how far back would you go? I think it’d be cool to go to the 70′s or 80′s.

How do you feel when someone kisses you on the forehead? I feel safe and loved.

Are you dating the last person you kissed on the lips? I am. <3

Has anyone ever told you they wanted to spend the rest of their life with you? Nope.

When was the last time you saw your grandpa? A few weeks ago. I need to call him soon and go for lunch since it’s been a while :c

Are you close with your mum? In some ways, I suppose. For the most part, not really.

How many pillows do you sleep with? One

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes cigarettes? Not at all. I’m used to being around it so it’s not a big deal to me.

Are you good at hiding your feelings? NO. God no. They leak out in horrible ways until I break down.

Do you think your ex still likes you? I don’t have an ex.

Have you ever driven without license? I have.

Ever kissed a brown-haired, dark-eyed person? Nope

Ever kissed a blonde-haired, blue-eyed person? Nope

Are you afraid of roller coasters? Yes oml

Is this year the best year of your life? In some ways.

Are you shy? Incredibly

How many people do you truly trust (not family)? Not a single person.

When was the last time you were told you were beautiful? Yesterday

How’s your day going so far? Really terribly. I hit my breaking point today while I was at work.

Do you find it in your heart to forgive? Unfortunately.

When did you last talk to your brother or sister? I talked to my sister about an hour ago.

Have you ever punched a guy? Nope.

Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now? Yes.

Do you need to say anything to someone? I think. I always do though, ahaha.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Maybe.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? Yes. Ohmygod.

Do you have trust issues? Yeah. Slowly getting better about it though.

Are you open with your feelings to people? I try to be. It’s really hard sometimes though.

What are you listening to right now? Karma - Rin Kagamine

Do you care what people think about you? Yes. I like to make good impressions.

Have you ever done something to make trouble? I have, yeah.

Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to in person? God no. //Not including customers at work lmfao

Are you currently frustrated with a boy or girl? I was.. Not so much right now

Have you ever had a crush on someone that was in a relationship? Yes

Who are you currently talking to? No one

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Not everyone, no.

Did your ex give you a promise ring? What ex

Do you currently like someone? I do. My boyfriend.

What are your plans for tonight? Probably nap and then gather up the energy to get up and either draw or play the sims.

Are you excited for anything? Not currently.

When was your last kiss? Yesterday around 10pm

Who is the last person you texted? Ahric

Did you spend time with close friends today? I don’t really have any close friends..

What’s your favourite thing to have for breakfast? Bacon, pancakes, and hashbrowns.

What’s the unhealthiest meal you’ve eaten in the past week? McDonald’s that I had for lunch at work today

Are you nervous, scared, or worried about anything at the moment? I feel pretty numb right now. I guess I’m worried that I annoy my boyfriend a lot with how upset I am lately... He said it’s okay and that I’m not but.. I still worry.

Would you be angry if your best friend kissed the person you like? Holy fuck would I ever be.

Do you think you will ever be with the person you like? I’m with him already <3

What type of cake did you eat last? I can’t remember the last time I had cake.

Does the person you like have any nicknames for you? He has a few. Baby girl is the main one though.

How many of your friends are single? No idea

How many of your friends are gay or bisexual? No idea

Does it bother you when other people try to get involved with what happens in your love life? I guess it would depend?? I’m not sure

What’s your favourite sandwich filling? Oh god I dunno.

Do you prefer ketchup, mayonnaise, or sour cream? Mayonnaise.

How old is the last person who Facebook messaged you? 20

Have you ever borrowed something from someone and not given it back? I have, yeah.

Are any of your friends pregnant? Nah

How many of your friends have tattoos? I’m not totally sure.

What colour is your favourite pair of socks? Black

Do you use conditioner on your hair? Always

Is there anything you would really like to do, but you daren’t? Yeah… Smoke weed I guess lmfao. I think it would help a lot with my anxiety but idk I just… Idk ugh. I’m a wuss

What flavour crisps did you last eat? Sour Cream & Onion

When was the last time someone asked you out? Did you accept or decline? I got asked out by two customers on Valentine’s Day ughh. I declined.

What’s the strangest conversation you’ve had with anyone recently? I had a weird conversation with my Mom a few days ago.

When was the last time you used a pair of scissors? Oh god I can’t even remember.

What’s something you aim to achieve in the near future? I want to get my art portfolio done and have it submitted by April.

Will you be single over summer? I hope not.

Last person you hung out with? Ahric

What did your last text say and who was it from? “Salad” from Ahric

Are you comfortable with your height? I’m content with it.

Is your room ever clean? UHHH.. Not usually. I haven’t cleaned in a while s:

How late did you stay up last night? Why? I went to bed around 4am just because

Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now? Yas

What was the last thing you bought? Fooooooooood

Do you think two people can last forever? I think it’s possible.

Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever? Not particularly

Are you cheating on someone right now? No.

Last time you saw fireworks, who were you with and where were you? It was Halloween. I was with Claire and we were standing just outside my house.

How do you feel about teenage pregnancy? It’s unfortunate.

Last movie you saw in theaters and with who? I saw The Lego Batman Movie with Ahric

Tears are falling down your face; what’s the reason? I worked up my anxiety too much over something and I hit my breaking point.

Have you ever told someone to their face that they’re ugly? No never.

Do you think the legal drinking age should be changed? Meh. 19 is okay.

Are you scared of people that don’t have eyelashes? No?

What is the longest you’ve ever talked on the phone for? A few hours at least.

Is there anything on top of your dresser? A whole bunch of stuff lmfao

When was the last time you did the dishes? If loading/unloading the dishwasher counts… A few weeks ago.

Can you go a day without thinking about the person that’s on your mind right now? No

What did you even do today? Woke up and got ready for work. Got into an argument with my dad and cried before I left. Showed up to work late.. Kept crying kinda on and off throughout the day. (I’d hide in the bathroom lol) Tried to talk to Ahric about it and just ended up feeling annoying.. I did work stuff for a few hours. I just got home and now I’m doing this.

What ruined your day today? Argument with my dad and not having plans work out the way I was hoping with Ahric.

Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yeah lol

If you could put last night on repeat, would you? Sure

Have you cried this week at all? I sure have

Are you drunk? Nah.

Will you talk to the person you like tonight? Most likely

Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? All the time.

When was the last time you consumed alcohol? Beginning of February. Oml I have never been that drunk before lol

You have to be with someone for the rest of your life; who is it? Ma bae. Duh

Do you think the person you like is cute? He’s adorable

If you were kicked out of your home, who would you call? Ahric

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Yeah. Today.

Has anyone ever told you that you have really pretty eyes? Yup!

Your ex calls wanting to hang out, what do you say? What ex

Do you think there’s a difference between fucking and making love? Uhhhhhh yeah. Yeah I do.

What do you think about sex before marriage? You do you

What would you say if you found out your last ex was in a relationship? ????????

Ever dated a blonde-haired, blue-eyed person? Nope.

How’s your best friend? I’m not sure how she’s doing… Idk If I can consider her a best friend anymore either so idk.

Have you ever been in love? Yeah

How many people have you held hands with in the past week? 1

Have you ever kissed in the rain? No.

Do you hate it when you go over to someone’s house and do absolutely nothing? Not usually. Depends on my mood.

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with an M, F, D, T, J, E, or S? Nope

[shortcakejpg]

3

121 questions

Where is the person you gave your heart to for the first time? At his house. Most likely playing video games.

What were you doing at ten last night? Playing League of Legends

Did you have a dream last night? Not that I remember.

Want someone back in your life? Kind of. I think it’d be nice, but at the same time maybe it’s for the best..

Are you good at giving directions? I’m terrible at it.

Do you prefer hot or cold weather? Hot weather is my jam.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now? Uhh.. Probably. I’d feel pretty ew though.

If you could go back in time, how far back would you go? I think it’d be cool to go to the 70′s or 80′s.

How do you feel when someone kisses you on the forehead? I feel safe and loved.

Are you dating the last person you kissed on the lips? I am. <3

Has anyone ever told you they wanted to spend the rest of their life with you? Nope.

When was the last time you saw your grandpa? A few weeks ago. I need to call him soon and go for lunch since it’s been a while :c

Are you close with your mum? In some ways, I suppose. For the most part, not really.

How many pillows do you sleep with? One

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes cigarettes? Not at all. I’m used to being around it so it’s not a big deal to me.

Are you good at hiding your feelings? NO. God no. They leak out in horrible ways until I break down.

Do you think your ex still likes you? I don’t have an ex.

Have you ever driven without license? I have.

Ever kissed a brown-haired, dark-eyed person? Nope

Ever kissed a blonde-haired, blue-eyed person? Nope

Are you afraid of roller coasters? Yes oml

Is this year the best year of your life? In some ways.

Are you shy? Incredibly

How many people do you truly trust (not family)? Not a single person.

When was the last time you were told you were beautiful? A few days ago? I thiiink..

How’s your day going so far? It’s been up and down. It was horrible earlier today, but I went on a date tonight and I’m pretty happy now <3

Do you find it in your heart to forgive? Unfortunately.

When did you last talk to your brother or sister? I talked to my sister about an hour ago.

Have you ever punched a guy? Nope.

Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now? Yes.

Do you need to say anything to someone? I think. I always do though, ahaha.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Maybe.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? Yes. Ohmygod.

Do you have trust issues? Yeah. Slowly getting better about it though.

Are you open with your feelings to people? I try to be. It’s really hard sometimes though.

What are you listening to right now? Nothing.

Do you care what people think about you? Yes. I like to make good impressions.

Have you ever done something to make trouble? I have, yeah.

Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to in person? God no.

Are you currently frustrated with a boy or girl? Nope

Have you ever had a crush on someone that was in a relationship? Yes

Who are you currently talking to? No one

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Not everyone, no.

Did your ex give you a promise ring? What ex

Do you currently like someone? I do. My boyfriend.

What are your plans for tonight? I’m gonna do some more of these survey things and then try and sleep.

Are you excited for anything? Not currently. 

When was your last kiss? Around 11pm?

Who is the last person you texted? Ahric

Did you spend time with close friends today? I don’t really have any close friends..

What’s your favourite thing to have for breakfast? Bacon, pancakes, and hashbrowns.

What’s the unhealthiest meal you’ve eaten in the past week? McDonald’s that I had for lunch at work a few days ago.

Are you nervous, scared, or worried about anything at the moment? Very much so, yes. I’m getting blood tests tomorrow and I don’t want to :s

Would you be angry if your best friend kissed the person you like? Holy fuck would I ever be.

Do you think you will ever be with the person you like? I’m with him already <3

What type of cake did you eat last? I can’t remember the last time I had cake.

Does the person you like have any nicknames for you? He has a few

How many of your friends are single? No idea

How many of your friends are gay or bisexual? No idea

Does it bother you when other people try to get involved with what happens in your love life? I guess it would depend?? I’m not sure

What’s your favourite sandwich filling? Oh god I dunno. 

Do you prefer ketchup, mayonnaise, or sour cream? Mayonnaise.

How old is the last person who Facebook messaged you? 20

Have you ever borrowed something from someone and not given it back? I have, yeah.

Are any of your friends pregnant? Nah

How many of your friends have tattoos? I’m not totally sure.

What colour is your favourite pair of socks? Black

Do you use conditioner on your hair? Always

Is there anything you would really like to do, but you daren’t? Yeah... Smoke weed I guess lmfao. I think it would help a lot with my anxiety but idk I just... Idk ugh. I’m a wuss

What flavour crisps did you last eat? Sour Cream & Onion

When was the last time someone asked you out? Did you accept or decline? I got asked out by two customers on Valentine’s Day ughh. I declined.

What’s the strangest conversation you’ve had with anyone recently? I had a weird conversation with my Mom today, surprisingly.

When was the last time you used a pair of scissors? Oh god I can’t even remember. 

What’s something you aim to achieve in the near future? I want to get my art portfolio done and have it submitted by April.

Will you be single over summer? I hope not.

Last person you hung out with? Ahric

What did your last text say and who was it from? “Oh yeah rip” from Ahric

Are you comfortable with your height? I’m content with it. 

Is your room ever clean? UHHH.. Not usually. I haven’t cleaned in a while s:

How late did you stay up last night? Why? I went to bed around 5:30am.. Because I was on the phone with Ahric.

Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now? Yas

What was the last thing you bought? Fooooooooood

Do you think two people can last forever? I think it’s possible.

Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever? Not particularly 

Are you cheating on someone right now? No.

Last time you saw fireworks, who were you with and where were you? It was Halloween. I was with Claire and we were standing just outside my house.

How do you feel about teenage pregnancy? It’s unfortunate.

Last movie you saw in theaters and with who? I saw The Lego Batman Movie with Ahric

Tears are falling down your face; what’s the reason? I worked up my anxiety too much over something and I hit my breaking point.

Have you ever told someone to their face that they’re ugly? No never.

Do you think the legal drinking age should be changed? Meh. 19 is okay.

Are you scared of people that don’t have eyelashes? No?

What is the longest you’ve ever talked on the phone for? A few hours at least.

Is there anything on top of your dresser? A whole bunch of stuff lmfao

When was the last time you did the dishes? If loading/unloading the dishwasher counts... A few weeks ago.

Can you go a day without thinking about the person that’s on your mind right now? No

What did you even do today? I had a shower first thing this morning and left to go to a doctors appointment. After, I did some errands with my mom and came home and had a nap for an hour. Ahric picked me up and we went for dinner.. Then we went back to his place for a bit. We cuddled and fell asleep on the couch. Now I’m at home, laying in bed, doing stuff on my laptop.

What ruined your day today? My doctors appointment.

Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yeah lol

If you could put last night on repeat, would you? Fuck no

Have you cried this week at all? I sure have

Are you drunk? Nah.

Will you talk to the person you like tonight? Most likely

Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? All the time.

When was the last time you consumed alcohol? Beginning of February. Oml I have never been that drunk before lol

You have to be with someone for the rest of your life; who is it? Ma bae. Duh

Do you think the person you like is cute? He’s adorable

If you were kicked out of your home, who would you call? Ahric

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Yeaaaahhh.

Has anyone ever told you that you have really pretty eyes? Yup!

Your ex calls wanting to hang out, what do you say? What ex

Do you think there’s a difference between fucking and making love? Uhhhhhh yeah. Yeah I do.

What do you think about sex before marriage? You do you

What would you say if you found out your last ex was in a relationship? ????????

Ever dated a blonde-haired, blue-eyed person? Nope.

How’s your best friend? I’m not sure how she’s doing... Idk If I can consider her a best friend anymore either so idk.

Have you ever been in love? Yeah

How many people have you held hands with in the past week? 1

Have you ever kissed in the rain? Yes.

Do you hate it when you go over to someone’s house and do absolutely nothing? Not usually. Depends on my mood.

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with an M, F, D, T, J, E, or S? Nope