#and like no i doubt everyone is consciously looking at people and making comments about their weight in their head

[saturnsuv]

absolutely sickening how people are nicer to you after you lose weight

[siyzuii]

shifting is self discovery.

excuse the yap but i think it’s very important that people realize how fundamental you are in your shifting journey and that you are literally the only thing you need to shift.

you do NOT need:

a method

subliminals

(guided) meditation

to look for advice hour after hour online

symptoms

the void state

lucid dreaming

to visualize

to use your 5 senses

a script

you DO need:

yourself

you can say fuck you to the universe, doubt as much as you want, and still shift. i say that because i’ve done it before even with doubts! so you can too!

“how do i shift?”

every time someone asks this i lose 5 years off my life span. i can’t determine that for you, nobody can. i can tell you what has personally worked for me and so can others, but there’s no guarantee it’ll work for you.

“so what do i do?”

sounds a bit harsh but you figure it out. and that’s what i mean by self-discovery.

of course, you can & should see what other people are doing to create a base line of what you think could work for you. for example try getting into the void state, see what happens from there. doesn’t work or you don’t like it? (because that obviously won’t do the same thing for everyone) try something else!

play around. add new things into the mix. affirmations. intention. you can visualize or use your 5 senses. keyword can. you don’t have to. because what do i think works the best? minding your business and shifting your own way.

remember that you can literally just say “fuck you i want to shift” and shift. you can shift accidentally. so who’s to say what you’re doing doesn’t work? (if it really doesn’t then you can adjust it slightly. look back on your behavior and think about what you want to change.)

seriously!

you can shift:

tired

awake

asleep

in the hypnagogic state (the state of the transition from wakefulness to sleep)

in the hypnopompic state (the state of consciousness leading out of sleep)

while dancing

sitting

standing

laying down

on the floor

accidentally

through a lucid dream

with doubts

and so much more i didn’t mention. seriously no need to overcomplicate it.

just remember that other peoples’ shifting journeys are not yours and that you’re the most important part of your own.

you are what makes you shift.

it’s not your subliminals or your method or whatever, it’s you. YOUUUU. subliminals? “methods”? those things? just helpful tools. they can HELP you shift, but there’s no guarantee.

for example, i personally have been getting more effective results after listening to specific subliminals regularly (psst.. i make sure they’re safe! to check if they are safe, look at the comments around the page and if you’re still not sure and you feel uneasy then do not use the subliminal. if it makes you feel unsafe or weird then do not use it. always read the benefits or what you can find in the description.) it works for me. it got me results (along with other stuff) but it might not give them to you and that’s okay. you don’t have to use subs.

just a reminder that you don’t need anything but yourself to shift <3

it’s self discovery because you’re learning from it and actively finding out (discovering) what works for you.

your shifting journey is yours so don’t make it rely on what someone else does.

THERE’S NO KEY TO SHIFTING EXCEPT YOURSELF.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Disturbing the Force

It was an epic day of Harkle shenanigans after just over a month of radio silence from Harry and a week and half without Meghan.

And they both came roaring back to the public consciousness in top form. Let's wind the clock back a little bit, and dive in.

June 14, 2024

It's Trooping Eve, and Kate kicks the celebration off with an update on her health, a new portrait, and an announcement that she will attend The King's Birthday Parade the next day. The social media post goes viral and it becomes breaking news, complete with push alerts.

June 15, 2024

Trooping Saturday. Kate makes her glorious and glamorous return to the public spotlight. Charles, recovering from his own health battle, looks fab as well.

Meghan can't deal with it and orders Nacho Figueras to shill her latest products for Roop ARO, raspberry jam and dog biscuits. The backlash is swift and immediate, and Meghan issues an almost-apology saying she didn't know that Kate would be returning to work on Trooping Saturday and she didn't intend to distract from it.

(Sure, and I didn't intend to drink a whole bottle of prosecco but 🤷‍♀️ here we are, snark and all.)

June 16, 2024

Father's Day. The official BRF social media posts archival footage of Charles and Prince Philip. William posts a photo of himself with Charles. Kate posts a photo of William and the kids with the kids' first post on social media.

The Sussexes don't observe Father's Day, unless you count activating the bots and the Squad to complain about William honoring his father with a photo that doesn't include his father's other son.

June 17, 2024

It's Garter Monday. All is quiet. William looks fantastic, as always. Kate is missed, as always.

June 18, 2024

Royal Ascot begins. It's still quiet. Lady Gabriella makes a public appearance, riding in a carriage with Anne and Peter. She looks to be in high spirits.

Meghan is still smarting over the public calling her out for stealing Kate's glory. She fires up the hotmail and gives exclusive comments to British tabloid Closer (not to be confused with Kyra Sedgwick's The Closer) that:

“Both Harry and Meghan have been following Kate’s recovery with huge interest, but sadly it’s had to be more from afar because their lines of communication with the palace and The Waleses, in particular, are very limited, to say the least. They have had enough information to know that people are excited about the idea of a comeback for Kate and they’re both relieved and happy to hear that she’s on the mend and may soon be well enough to return to her duties. They’ve jointly reached out to send well wishes, but they’re still not really in a place with Kate to warrant much of a response. That hasn’t stopped them from trying to connect and do what they see as the right thing. When Kate gets back into action, their hope is that it might take some of the heat off them and possibly trigger a truce with her and William, and with the King, too.”

and

“Meghan’s desperate to come across as the bigger person and end this feud between them – appearing like some sort of royal saviour could only do her image good. And, despite all their bad blood, her heart does go out to Kate – she can only imagine how hard this situation must be for her. Meghan has made it clear she’d love nothing more than to move past all the nonsense and find a way towards healing for everyone’s sake. She’s ready and willing to let the anger and bitterness go. Of course, it’s not really up to her and Harry, all they can do is continue to reach out and offer olive branches. Meghan hopes her feelings are being communicated to Kate through their mutual friends. There’s no doubt making peace with William and Kate would be a huge relief for Meghan on many levels, not least because it would also improve her reputation and, in turn, the new brand she’s cultivating.”

Y'all, I cannot. Meghan says she has mutual friends with Kate. Ha! That's as believable as "William's friend" giving exclusives to Richard Eden about William's plan for his monarchy.

and

“Meghan would love to be accepted by the British public again and getting the seal of approval from Kate and William would go a long way towards that. It’s got to be pretty nerve-wracking for Meghan, so much is riding on making amends with Kate and William and no matter what she and Harry do, ultimately they have very little control over the outcome, all they can do is continue to reach out, and hope for the best.”

Just to remind everyone, Closer is probably the source of the Sussexes' new British PR person that they promoted pre-Nigeria.

June 19, 2024

William attends Royal Ascot with his cousins and the Middletons. Everyone loves how close he is with his parents-in-law, compared to, well, you know.

Absolutely no one picks up Meghan's interview with Closer (maybe she should've tried Kyra Sedgwick) so Meghan's hotmail tips off the New York Post, who finally writes about it.

(Fun fact. I went to college with a girl who went to school with the Bacon-Sedgwick kids. She told me once that Kevin Bacon is more amazing than you think he is but Kyra is a bitch.)

(Also I'm watching the AFI Achievement Award for Nicole Kidman and she is so fabulous. Oh, man. They're parodying her AMC commercial with MORGAN FREEMAN. Sorry, guys. I really did drink that whole bottle of prosecco so please just bear with me.)

June 20, 2024

Meghan's check to her old stomping grounds, OK Magazine, clears and they write about the Closer's Olive Branch.

June 21, 2024

William's birthday. Kate posts one of the most amazing photographs she's ever taken of William and the kids, jumping off a sand cliff on the beach at Norfolk. One of the things that fascinates me the most about this photo is how William and George (the future kings) are looking at the camera while Charlotte and Louis are looking forward. I suppose someone more sober than me tonight can make an eloquent metaphor about how the kings are looking at their people while the spares are looking for their landing zone.

William takes his kids, Mike and Zara, Peter and Savannah, and some friends to see Taylor Swift. They have an absolutely chaotic time shaking it off, hanging out with Taylor, and meeting the Kelce Brothers.

Wales loyalists photoshop Harry's Friar Tuck into the birthday photo (or maybe it was the Father's Day photo? it was really well-done) and they also do a "who wore it best" of the dueling pink linen suits: Mike Tindall at the Eras Tour or Meghan Markle at the Lakers game.

June 22, 2024

Sussex Squad continue their shenanigans over William's dancing and attendance at the Eras Tour.

Thomas Markle publishes an op-ed in the Daily Mail talking about how all he wants is to talk to Meghan again and see her children.

It reminds me of ancient tea that came out in July 2018 (yes I can remember that specifically because I was riding on a very stinking hot London underground subway at the time) that Meghan and her people were shopping for PR agencies in late 2017/early 2018 and Meghan's brief to the PR agencies included that Samantha and Tom Sr. were to be used as sources and strategies for PR.

Whenever Meghan needs to reset the public narrative, she trots out dear ol' Dad to give her the victim edit. It's her MO, right there next to "throw everyone under the bus."

June 23, 2024

Richard Eden's op-ed that the Sussexes are becoming more irrelevanter than irrelevant gets picked up by American media, including the New York Post. But before you can think "someone forgot to pay them this week!", the article course-corrects, reminding us that the Sussexes had graciously offered to pick up royal duties while Charles and Kate are away but mean William won't let them.

June 24, 2024

The Mirror rubs it in Harry's face that he doesn't stand a chance at inheriting Diana's home. Apparently we're all "surprised" that Earl Spencer's son is set to inherit the estate "due to the aristocracy's system of primogeniture."

That reminds me. Earl Spencer's archaeological dig at Althorp found a roman bracelet. He posted about it on Twitter. (We're allowed to still call it Twitter, according to the Supreme Court.) (And I guess he's still boinking the archaeologist.)

June 25, 2024

The Japan State Visit to the UK begins. William looks fantastic accompanying the Emperor and his wife to the parade grounds to begin the visit. We all wonder what he's going to do because the state banquet takes place the same time as football. Is he going to smuggle his phone to the dinner? (Nope! But he must have required someone at KP to watch the match because their "congratulations" tweet went up lickety-split.)

Charles makes a comment during his toast about his grandchildren and Sussex Squad and anti-Katers seize ahold of it to mean that he's talking about Archie and Lili.

The BRF courts controversy when Sophie wears the Lotus Flower Tiara (famously loaned to Kate) and issues a press release saying that Queen Camilla loaned it to Sophie. Everyone gets mad and blog-shouts how dare she but I think it's a nothingburger. You can see that the tiara still "belongs" to Kate because the velvet wrapping on the brace is still the dark brown of Kate's hair (as opposed to being changed to yellow for Sophie's hair) so probably Kate meant to wear it but she couldn't attend, so it was given to Sophie because of what the lotus symbolizes in Japanese culture. (I have another anon that wrote in about this. I'll post it soon.)

Not to be outdone, Meghan's hotmail tells Marie Claire Magazine to promote her latest olive branch (from Closer on June 18th, but they quote OK Magazine's story from June 20th).

June 26, 2024

Scotty's Little Soldiers published a tearful video discussion their founder, Nikki Scott, had with Harry over loss and grief. Harry talked about losing his mother. Nikki talked about dealing with the loss of her husband and having to tell her then-five year old child.

Harry has supported Scotty's Little Soldiers since 2017 when he met the founder at a Buckingham Palace event. Harry later named Scotty's Little Soldiers as one of seven charities for his wedding.

The video doesn't really get much attention, largely going unnoticed by most. (There's some speculation it was filmed last week or when Harry was last in the UK (May for the Invictus anniversary) but I am one with the couch now.)

June 27, 2024

It was a busy, busy day for the Sussexes!

First, There was a ruling in one of Harry's lawsuits, which drops a bomb that Harry is being accused by News Group Newspapers (whom he's suing in one of his umpteen lawsuits in the phone hacking case that won't go away) of having destroyed evidence for the lawsuit. In a (tipsy) nutshell (I mean, let's face it, you do sorta have to be tipsy to understand the lawsuits), NGN wants Harry to disclose what information / evidence he has, or has knowledge of existing, supporting his allegations of the phone hacking. They are trying to find out if Harry knew he had a claim (aka grounds for a lawsuit) before 2013. If they can prove he did, then the case can be thrown out because it was filed too late.

The judge is concerned that Harry's lawyers hasn't addressed that issue and he doesn't like that Harry has been doing all the research himself and - reading between the lines - it's a veiled accusation of obstruction because it sounds like Harry has refused to cooperate with the lawyers by deliberately controlling and withholding his records from evidence disclosure. NGN says "We have had to drag those out of the claimant [Harry] kicking and screaming."

Additionally, the judge revealed "troubling evidence" that tons of messages between Harry and his Spare ghostwriter over emails and apps had been destroyed. (This is the destruction of evidence issue.

Ah, the neighbors have started shooting off July 4th fireworks. *eagle screech of freedom*)

The judge ruled that Harry and/or his team:

Must conduct a wider search of his laptop and WhatsApp account(s) for the missing emails, texts, and messages for exchanges from 2005 through early 2023

Must try to retrieve the messages from the Signal app he used to communciate with his Spare ghostwriter.

Must produce a witness statement to explain his exchanges with the ghostwriter (which could lead to testimony from the ghostwriter -- juicy!)

Must send letters to the royal household and their lawyers requesting copies relating to Harry's communications during this time so they could be examined for relevance and applicability. Two people from the royal household were named and y'all, I don't think they're happy about getting dragged into this.

Must make an interim payment of 60,000 pounds to NGN for their costs of the hearing. (I don't know why.)

(Reuters Link)

Second, the ESPYs announced today that Harry will be receiving their Pat Tillman Award for Service for his work with Invictus Games.

Here is what the press release says about Harry's selection:

In honor of his tireless work in making a positive impact for the veteran community through the power of sport, Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex will receive the Pat Tillman Award for Service, an award given to a person with a strong connection to sports who has served others in a way that echoes the legacy of the former NFL player and U.S. Army Ranger, Pat Tillman. After serving for 10 years in the British Armed Forces, including two tours of duty in Afghanistan as a forward air controller and Apache helicopter pilot, Prince Harry founded The Invictus Games Foundation, continuing his service by creating an international platform to support wounded, injured, and sick servicemen and women – both active-duty and veterans – who are navigating both physical and invisible injuries. Since inception, the Games have transcended borders and impacted lives across every continent, bringing together competitors from 23 nations, with continued support and programming 365 days of the year. Now celebrating its tenth year, The Invictus Games has evolved into a globally celebrated and acclaimed organization that celebrates resilience, community, and healing through the power of sport. Past recipients of the Pat Tillman Award for Service include Jake Wood (2018), Kirstie Ennis (2019), Kim Clavel (2020), Marcus Rashford (2021), Gretchen Evans (2022) and the Buffalo Bills Training Staff (2023). 

Yeah, we're all sorts of pissed off because it's clear that Harry bought the award because he certainly doesn't qualify for it. Invictus Games qualifies for the award; not their bratty founder who takes all the credit.

It was totally purchased for the 10th anniversary of Invictus and to help Harry look important, like he actually does something and is worth everything he grifts gets. Speaking of, they haven't announced the 2027 host yet. Small mercies, I suppose. I wouldn't put it past them to try and announce it during the Olympics, because one thing Harry (and Meghan too) is very good at is not being able to read the fucking room.

According to the tea that has leaked out, the ESPY announcement caught many off-guard at ESPN because it was not meant to happen today (check out the comments here), leading to theories that:

The Sussexes are trying to bury the news that Harry's lawsuit isn't going well and that he's been reamed out in court.

Harry is trying to compete with William, who is attending a conference today for Earthshot 2023 winners with Bill Gates and Hannah Waddingham.

It's a tactical PR campaign to prop Hero Harry up for the UK's observance of Armed Forces Day on Saturday, June 29th.

or

4. All of the above.

(if you guessed #4, you're right!)

Third, in the most amazing of coincidences, Meghan Markle was papped in Beverly Hills merching a tracksuit for a photo shoot. Since it was near a popular coffee shop, my theory is that she's doing something for that Clevr thing, the one she did the commercial for last year. Maybe some kind of corporate partnership with her lifestyle brand. Clevr + ARO = the tracksuit fashion no one but Sue Sylvester needs.

Anyway. That's what you missed on Glee.

[ragnarlothcat]

I know I’m a chronic overthinker but I’ve been in the same fandom for three years or so now and I was reflecting that writing seemed so much easier when I first started out. Just looking at my output since 2021 shows a clear trend: I’ve been writing much less and it’s been taking me way longer.

I figured that I’d gotten a little burned out and that three years is a long time to focus solely on the same two guys making out and that there’s a limit to the number of situations I can put them in before I start to get bored. But I don’t think that’s quite my problem because even now, a million years later, I have ideas for dozens of fics and AUs that would be interesting to explore or funny to write.

No, it’s that I’ve let the larger fandom overwhelm me and it’s left me constantly second-guessing my writing. And I don’t mean that I’ve gotten nasty comments or asks, because I haven’t! All the other fans have been consistently wonderful and fun people with really valuable insights. And it’s not that I’ve been obsessing over stats or comments or worrying about going against popular headcanons. I mean, I’m just as excited as anyone else to see an AO3 email in my inbox but I’m also perfectly happy posting niche fics for an audience of me and my three weirdest friends.

It’s more that after so long engaging with other fans and other fics and the general meta, I’ve ended up writing too self-consciously. I’ve read so many interpretations of canon events, analyses of characterization and comparisons between fiction and real-world politics over the years, and I’ve enjoyed them because I genuinely care about these stories and these characters! I like seeing what everyone else thinks and then considering their points of view, no matter how bewildering they might seem at first.

But now it feels like I’m writing almost defensively, like I have to justify every choice I’m making based on this enormous and contradictory body of information. Three years ago I’d have written a scene in a few thousand words and moved on to the next plot point with my momentum intact. Now I’m constantly wringing my hands over things like physical details (I guess he’s not exactly a redhead) or broader social implications (is this trope misogynistic?) or finicky logistics (these locations are too far apart for this scene to make sense) or controversial character nuance (does writing this guy as a kind, doting husband make me an abuse apologist???) and the result is that I’m paralyzed with indecision and a ridiculous need to support everything I write with a lot of context that isn’t especially fun to write or, I suspect, especially fun to read.

I’m aware that this problem is entirely in my own head and that no one has asked me for any of this. And it’s not that all those questions aren’t interesting and important things to contemplate. But I miss the days of sitting down at my laptop and going “wouldn’t it be funny if these dorks played a video game together?” and then writing exactly that.

I don’t know. Were my fics better three years ago? I kind of doubt it. I’ve looked back at some of them and if nothing else I now have a better grasp of what tense I’m supposed to be using. But I definitely had more fun writing those older stories, which maybe feels more important.

[mastermindmiko]

Potions Partner

Pairing: Draco Malfoy + fem!reader

Word count: 1895

Summary: Y/N Potter is Harry Potter's sister and so by association Draco Malfoy must hate her too and she must do so as well.

Warnings: none I think but let me know if there's any I missed

My masterlist

Part two

tell me if you want to be apart of the tag list for this series in the comments

Requests are open

Hate unfiltered, blinding hate. That’s what he felt for both of them. He was getting praised for something he never even consciously did, and she was his sister, that was more than enough for him to hate her too. It was sickening how much everyone worshipped them.

“Mr. Malfoy and Ms. Potter.” Professor Slughorn announced, grabbing Draco’s attention at the mention of his surname. He looked up from the ground, his train of thought interrupted, and his heart (unwantedly) skipped several beats. He looked around and saw that the class was divided into groups of two each sitting on a table.

He looked to find Y/N looking at him reluctantly, and her brother giving him a glare. Draco rolled his eyes, this is why he hated them. He could hear the Potter twins bickering and he clenched his jaw, he was not in the mood for this.

“I don’t want to go to him! Switch with me.”

“No! I’m not going to be partners with him.”

Y/N looked at Weasley and gave him a pleading look. Weasley looked around with wide eyes, avoiding her gaze like he knew exactly what she was going to do. She turns towards him and plays with his tie, she nearly purrs, “But Ron wouldn’t you much rather be my partner?”

Draco rolls his eyes at her innuendo, but he’d be lying if he said that he never thought of her that way before, he’d also be lying if he said that he didn’t do it quite frequently. She was one of the most attractive people in Hogwarts (the most in his opinion, not that he’d let her know that), he highly doubted that he was the only one who did. He remembers the Yule Ball.

Potter shoves her aside and hissed, “You can’t just flirt with him and get what you want.”

She gives her brother a glare and seethes, “Stay out of this-” her voice turns sickeningly sweet again. “It’s his decision.” She turns to Ron and gives him a tiny smirk, “Hmm?”

“No!” Harry interrupts, saving a blushing Ron from replying. “Professor Slughorn! Are we allowed to switch partners?” Harry asks the new potions teacher and the professor shakes his head too occupied with chatting with some other students. Harry folds his arms, and looks at her with a victorious grin.

She frowns and shoots her brother a glare. She grabs her things, keeping her book in her hand, making her way towards the table Draco’s at. She makes sure to hit Harry’s head with her book before moving too far.

Harry grumbles over in pain, raising his hand to rub the spot that she’s hit. It brings a slight smile to Draco’s mouth that he erases immediately. He has more important things to worry about this year than those pathetic twins.

She sits on the chair beside him and she doesn’t look at him as she brings out her ink pot and her parchment from her bag. She doesn’t spare him a glance, and he does the same. He zones out again thinking of possible tactics that can get the vanishing cabinet to work while Granger talks about Amortentia, Veritaserum and sleeping drought.

His first task is, making the room of requirement unavailable to anyone but him, so no one can find out what he’s up to. After that, he has to find a way to get the vanishing cabinet to work, which seemed like an impossible task, considering that it’s been out of use for a hundred years now.

“One sip of this and you will find that all your endeavors succeed…at least until the effects wear off.” Professor Slughorn says with a grin, grabbing his attention once again. He looks at the tiny vial that the Professor’s holding and he identifies it as Liquid Luck. It’s a tricky potion to make, he knows that, that’s why he can’t make it himself, and why he starts to think about how to steal it.

“So, this is what I offer each of you today, one tiny vial of liquid luck to the pair of students who in the hour that remains manages to brew an acceptable draught of living death.” He explains and Draco already starts to flip through the pages of his book. “Recipes for which can be found in your books on page 10.”

He rolls up the sleeves of his right arm, but just when he’s about to roll his left arm’s sleeve he remembers. He rolled them both down again and made sure that no one was looking. He needed to be more careful.

He goes to page ten and starts writing on a piece of parchment the ingredients needed. Professor Slughorn wasn’t kidding when he said the potion was complicated. He lets out a sigh, and looks around the room to see who his competition is. He concludes that no one’s a threat except for Granger, but she’s no match to his potion making abilities.

“Go get these from the cupboard, I imagine you’re competent enough to get them.” Draco seethes at his potions partner as he slides the paper to her, already grabbing his wand to heat the pot. When he receives no reply, he turns to find that she had fallen asleep.

“Potter!” He shouts and she jolts awake. She looks around her, frightened and then she looks at him and grumbles, “What’d you do that for?” He rolls his eyes at her and repeats, “Go get these ingredients.”

“Why should I?” She asks, annoyed that he’s bossing her around. “Because you want the grade.” Draco explains, and she gives him a look of disgust, top lip curled up in disgust before she snatches the paper, heading towards the cabinet where so many people already are. He reads the instructions again, putting his own notes.

She returns and nearly throws the ingredients on the desk, she seethes, “Satisfied?” He looks at them and checks them from his book, making sure that she brought the right ingredients. Once she realized what he was doing, she scoffed at his actions, folding her arms over her chest.

“Very.” He says, and she hops down on the stool. He starts to brew the potion, he reads every step twice and makes sure everything’s perfect. He doesn’t let the female Potter help with anything, he can’t risk her messing anything up.

“I can help, you know.” She says, annoyed when he refused to let her touch anything, after she had reached for the sloth brain and he slapped her hand away. He rolls his eyes when he loses count of the amount of drops he’s putting because of her. He looks around the table and hands her some bezoars. “Here measure these.”

“These don’t need to be measured, you only need one.” She says, after checking her own book. He knew that of course, so he gave her a sarcastic smile, “Well, you did great.” He grabs one from the palm of her hand and places it inside the cauldron, making sure to steer anti-clockwise.

“I got an O in my OWLs…in potions, I bet I’d be able to do it better than you.” She hisses at him, resisting the urge to hex him. He ignores her and starts to stir the potion clockwise for five slow paced stirs, holding his breath, it was the last step. The potion turns black and he exhales, he’s done it right.

He calls professor Slughorn over with a smirk, and the professor comes with a leaf. He drops the leaf in and instead of disintegrating, it turns the potion purple. Professor Slughorn purses his lips, and pats Draco’s shoulder, sympathetically. He moves to another table when he’s called and as soon as he’s out of earshot, Draco turns to Y/N.

“You ruined the potion.” He hisses, and she looks at him incredulously. She slammed her book shut, throwing it in her bag. She whisper-shouts, “How can I ruin the potion? I quite literally did nothing!”

“You got the wrong ingredients!” He accuses, and she replies, “How can I? You checked them twice.” She closes her ink pot with the lid and rolls the parchment back to its original form and ties it together. She puts them into her bag and slings the bag over her shoulder.

“You must have done something, you incompetent-” Draco says, heatedly. In a second, she raises her wand to his neck and threatens, “Finish that sentence, I dare you.”

He isn’t deterred by the wand on his neck, and he brings out his wand from his own pockets, pointing it at her chest and he starts again, more slowly this time, “You incompetent-”

“Mr. Malfoy! Ms. Potter! This is unacceptable!” Professor Slughorn explains, mid handing Harry the Felix Felicis. They’re both too angry to register their astonishment at him correctly brewing the potion. “You both have detention on Friday! Now, clap for Harry then leave.”

Draco grabs his things and leaves the room, not bothering to listen to his teacher’s instructions. He huffs as he leaves the class, already making his way to the room of requirement, effectively skipping his defense against the dark arts lesson, Snape would cover for him anyway.

He reaches the fifth floor and then looks to make sure that no one’s there. He closes his eyes and thinks of what he needs, and the door to the room appears. He wastes no time in getting inside and as soon as he’s inside he sees the cabinet.

He let out a shaky breath, but first he had to figure out how to keep the room of requirement out of anyone’s hands. He tried placing silencing and disillusionment charms, but none of them worked. He did know that the room doesn’t allow anyone in, if there’s someone already inside. Draco then decided that he’d be spending every waking moment here which was already a part of the plan.

He neared the cabinet and his arm started burning. He clutches his forearm in pain, and grimaces. He pushed up his left arm’s sleeve and he remembers today’s near incident. He can’t let anyone find out that he’s a death eater, and the first way to do that is to hide his dark mark. He places an invisibility spell on his arm, and he thinks it looks convincing enough.

He couldn’t afford to have anymore detentions because of Y/N Potter, he already didn’t have enough time as it is. The Dark Lord requested his presence during winter break to catch up on his progress, and he had to have at least something to show him. He already quit the Quidditch team to free up his time, but he wasn’t able to stop being a prefect.

He wouldn’t be able to get much of his school work done when he’s focusing on this task. It’s too much of a handful without assignments and tests. His mother was much more important than getting good grades.

[ms-scarletwings]

Upon finishing S3//Ep2 of Moral Orel, “Innocence”, Orel’s morals finally clicked for me

As happens in a show this narratively rich, I looked around at some of the close-by chatter under comment sections. People were making these observations about how Orel seemingly just goes out of his way to interpret all of the lessons he’s given in the least charitable and most nonsensical way. Not an invalid view, and for the first good part of the show, you think this is just the function of an over the top comedic bit for the formula of each episode. It’s easy to ask how on earth a seemingly kind hearted, well meaning kid like this can be THAT devoid of the basic logical implications of what he hears, or any common moral intuition that virtually everyone has, right?

Orel’s not a stupid kid. But the entire problem with him up to the point thus far is that he legit DOES NOT in fact have that intuition we expect most people, even children to have. That knee-jerk repulsion to obviously harmful actions. That really vital sense of conscience. No, I don’t mean he’s some kind of psychopath. He has a bright and almost sickeningly sweet heart and it was part of how he broke the cycle despite everything. I mean that Orel has not had a coherent moral compass modeled to him through his earlier development. His ethical axioms are ALL rooted in divine command theory. To put it simply, he doesn’t believe “god is good”, he believes “goodness” itself is “what god says is good”. Most Christians, hell, most religious people generally do not literally, consciously operate in this way, and usually even the ones that do are (mostly) still functionally average people, because usually they were at least consistently conditioned to believe that axioms like human well-being are what God commands. To at least a fortunate degree, human empathy and socialization usually is allowed to and even encouraged to develop under mainstream religious upbringings.

You notice the glaring difference though when you see what happens to people who are molded entirely by Divine Command Theory and then become convinced that their God’s divine command is something that doesn’t happen to line up with conventionally good ideals, like those given earlier. This is what destructive cults do. This is what makes crusades. This is what causes anti-sodomy laws and stoning people to death for eating the wrong kind of fish or not wearing the right clothing to happen.

Understand that this is the hinge that Orel’s whole sense of right and wrong up to this point swings on. What it means is that this little boy can, and will, justify or excuse any and all directions given to him so long as he trusts the adult talking to him as someone who speaks for God. This combined with his craving for approval, plus the fact that he’s also had it drilled in his head to never question or doubt his elders’ wisdom makes for a child zealot that is dangerously easy to manipulate to do ANYTHING and with fanatical determination. It is less than no additional help that the Puppingtons (and the majority of the townsfolk) have never been golden examples for healthy social modeling, as well. Like, sure, he’s getting glimmers of actual goodness in there such as the Jesus loves you so love yourself and help thy neighbors messaging, but it’s being inconsistently contradicted by and juggled alongside at same hierarchical importance as “lessons” like beat the shit out of people who make fists, segregate the brown people, and be terrified of the same authority you expect safety and comfort from. Why on earth is it shocking that Orel seemingly has no sense of scale or priority when it comes to the rules? The rules he’s given are subject to constant and chaotic updates and are all treated with the same gravity. Follow X and you will be promised infinite reward. Disobey X and you will be met with infinite retribution. Not just even in a spiritual heaven and hell sense, but here in life too. Clay delivers the same punishment for getting hooked on crack or becoming a serial rapist that he does for the “sin” of using slang vernacular and meditating to relieve stress.

Everything that defines his life and virtues is a matter of constant anxiety and eagerness in order to appease a patriarchal tyrant that is portrayed as both ultimately benevolent and wise,

yet incredibly vindictive, sadistic, irrational, and petty.

And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this description can equally apply to Moralton’s conception of God and a certain alcoholic father.

No kidding when I say that Orel has so little consistent input to actually steer him in the right direction that it’s incredibly sad, to the point where he’s extremely fortunate to actually have such an optimistic and compassionate inclination at all. It only seems ridiculous how he can’t see obvious suffering and even personal detriment as any red flags to hesitate or question an action, until you remember that he’s so been domestically broken by Clay and his church that his Pavlovian response to pain is either gratitude, mild inconvenience, or, masochistic euphoria.

Nonetheless, all of this only backfires on every adult in Moralton because the one thing they can’t control or account for 24/7 is exactly how he interprets what they say, even when he’s trying his best to follow their command. It’s like a twisted Amelia Bedelia situation with him that no one actually wants to deal with, even though they all (except Stephanie) collectively played a part in creating this monster.

Censordoll was the first one who was smart and ambitious enough to see the potential for Orel’s blind subservience to be weaponized, and of freaking course she was.

Thing is, you bet the ONLY reason she stopped was because she also lost control of him, and we all know what the consequence of that was. He unintentionally yet absolutely destroyed her in the only weak point she has, yet exactly like Clay did during the “turn the other cheek” incident, she trapped herself in a situation where she couldn’t swallow her own pride in the name of reversing the damage.

What I guess I’m explaining here is that Orel’s collection of constant shenanigans, unknowingly, yet effectively, is literally a manifestation of the community’s own complete moral bankruptcy biting them back in the ass, and possibly even a divine punishment for it, depending on how you interpret the writing. Which is a HELL of a phenomenal, subtle twist to his whole premise that doesn’t abandon the original joke/satire, but instead builds upon it and adds a chasm of depth and intention.

PRETTY GREAT, HUH?~

[anneapocalypse]

My eternal biggest struggles in FFXIV--and really in any game, but it matters way more when you're playing with other people--are visual perception and by extension reaction time. I have figured out just from talking to other people about how they perceive things that I simply do not process visual information as quickly or comprehensively as some people do. If I am focusing on one part of the screen I am not seeing what's happening in the other corner. When I'm looking at the party list I am not seeing my hotbar. When I'm looking at my hotbar I am not seeing the boss's cast bar. And so forth. The ability that most people seem to have to just absorb all or most of the information on their screen just by looking? I don't have that. I have to constantly, consciously be scanning all the places where I know there's important information. It is not automatic.

Which means that unless I know to look for a specific tell--like a specific cast or a symbol over my character's head--there is a good chance I just will not see it. I hesitate to even explain this to people because it sounds like I'm making excuses or not paying attention when I say "I just didn't see it." But it doesn't matter how much I'm paying attention if I don't know what I'm looking for. I will not process it, which is functionally the same as not seeing it.

And I can learn, is the thing. I know to watch for Ancient Flare in Labyrinth of the Ancients. I know that in Shadowbringers onward, where you'll get strings of really unforgiving, rapid-fire AOEs, that it's better to focus on getting myself to safety and sacrifice a heal or two and then do damage control when they let up, than to miss an AOE because I was trying to heal, and die and force another player to interrupt their rotation to rez me. It just takes practice, and there are things I won't get on the first run, no matter how hard I try.

I do care about playing my job well. I watch guides. I practice. I do my best to learn, because I love the game and it's satisfying to play well, especially as a healer--I want to be the kind of healer that when I'm in the party, you know I've got you, that if you mess up I'll catch you, and it'll be fine. Playing a support role well is very, very satisfying and rewarding to me! And so none of the above means I'm not going to do my best, or that I'm not trying to be better.

I don't get better from people yelling at me or calling me stupid. I get flustered, I lose my flow, I blank out on things that actually are obvious. I get worse.

And the all-or-nothing attitudes from that small but real subset of veteran players is just utterly discouraging. "Either you're playing your job correctly or you're sabotaging." "There are no non-obvious mechanics in regular duties." It reads to me as "Be perfect on the first try or go fuck yourself." That is a standard I will literally never be able to meet. And I'm not saying "poor me," that's not my point. Somehow I doubt that it's a standard the majority of players are able to meet--based on my own experiences playing with sprouts in many, many roulettes.

Everyone has to start somewhere. Everyone learns differently, perceives differently, no matter how rigid the rotation of their job, no matter how "obvious" the mechanics. And for someone else who's struggling I would much rather be the person who gave them a better experience in the game than the person who gave them a shittier one. I don't want to be the person who makes someone quit trying to learn tanking for six months (as someone did to me). If you need to vent about how someone sucks, fine, do it in private. And even then, you know, maybe consider how you talk about it and to whom. Are your comments going to be the reason someone in your linkshell is terrified of learning a new role? Or the reason they're excited to try?

Personally I would rather come out of a duty with a party that struggled a bit but pressed on being kind and helping and encouraging one another and celebrated victory together, than leave someone never wanting to play again.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

they did it

LOL they did the thing anime kuuderes do in Silver’s Dorm Uniform vignettes… where the character practices smiling (with Scarabia) but fails at it when they consciously put forth effort to improve 🥲 only for them to smile naturally and unconsciously when they’re spending time with the people they care for (exercising with Sebek in the courtyard and smiling at how much his underclassman has improved). Aaaaaah, and Malleus and Lilia are watching them like proud parents 🥹

I normally don’t really comment when new vignettes drop, but I really liked how Silver’s highlights his friendship with Sebek and demonstrates that Sebek does indeed have a place in the Diasomnia found family and can be a supportive friend to Silver (albeit in his own extremely loud and insistent manner).

I often see people claim Sebek has no personality outside of being loud/arrogant/demanding and basically obsessing over Malleus but 🥲 it’s moments like these where his heart comes out and you can see he cares about others (but just fails to express it in what many would consider a “normal” way). When Sebek sees Silver being upset with his inability to smile, he tries to encourage Silver by telling him that he shouldn’t care what other humans think of him (yes, there is Sebek’s usual Sebek-ness seeping through his words, but the sentiment is still there). He values Silver’s worth as an individual and doesn’t believe that what others say about him should have an impact on his own confidence or how he behaves. But when that talking doesn’t work, Sebek goes out of his way to suggest they do their usual training in a very public location (the school courtyard), which attracts the attention of passing students who stop and watch them. It is through observing Silver in a state in which he is comfortable that his classmates are able to approach him and exchange amicable words.

Sebek doesn’t explicitly say it, but this just goes to show how well he understands Silver and how he wants to show off Silver’s good qualities to their peers. (Sebek also outright brags about Silver’s grace and poise in the vignettes of Fairy Gala: If.) Of course, he coats his intentions with the usual, “blah blah blah, if you act like this then it will make the young master look bad and we can’t have that,” but really that’s just a cover-up for his genuine concern for Silver. It’s a moment of emotional weakness that Sebek just doesn’t want to let out in full, so he uses arrogance to mask it. This shows that Sebek has both a capacity to connect with humans and a willingness to help his friends.

At the same, this greatly helps to further characterize Silver as someone who is diligent (as he tries hard to improve himself in areas where he is lacking; previously, this improvement was tied to his concerns about staying alert, which put perhaps too strong of an emphasis on Silver’s sleepiness). He also lacks confidence in these areas because he is aware of his weaknesses, and he strives to take great pains in order to cover for them. Additionally, Silver is shown to confide in his friends (Kalim, Sebek) about these weaknesses. He is very emotionally open with his thoughts (in spite of his stoic face) and, in contrast to Sebek, is not opposed to receiving help or guidance on the way to achieving his goals.

Something else that’s interesting is that the vignettes show us that Silver does care to some extent what his classmates think of him. I definitely don’t think it’s to the same obsessive degree as someone like Vil, but Silver genuinely wants to get alone with everyone and make friends with them. He has truly good intentions and also wants to see the good intentions in others, even if they are inaccurate (like when Silver assumes that Jamil is worried for Kalim in Endless Halloween Night). Additionally, Silver’s kind-hearted nature allows him to better understand Sebek, a person who comes off as so abrasive to others. Silver gives everyone the benefit of his doubt. As Lilia and Malleus comment in his Dorm vignettes, it’s a mark that Silver is able to be the type of individual that connects other people (something we witness Silver do firsthand in Fairy Gala: If when he negotiates between the fairies and NRC).

bdjssbksjw That’s what makes their bond so strong 😌 Silver is willing to see what many others don’t in Sebek, and Sebek is willing to put aside some of his pride and personal prejudice towards humans to support Silver.

GAHHHH 🥺 I just. Really enjoy Silver and Sebek’s friendship—how well their conflicting personalities play off of one another, and how well they are able to understand the other despite their strong differences.

[avoidantrecovery]

i love this video of venus williams being protected by her dad during her interview. because it it depicts something that is usually so hard to pin point, even if you've been through it.

the journalist asks a seemingly normal question about whether venus thinks she‘ll win and she says yes. he comments on how confident she is, which she agrees to. then he asks her why she thinks this and she begins to provide her answer, elaborating on her previous reply. he continues to prod. people who have never experienced emotional abuse, never seem to understand how banal some of it can come across as. you might even be called overly sensitive for picking up on something like this. and i‘m not saying that the journalist is emotionally abusing her, but it begins where he lets off essentially.

he is, consciously or not, trying to get under her skin and into her head, even though she is still a child. he wants a certain reply from her, maybe for her to show humility or uncertainty instead of her steadfast belief in herself. he never yells or looks angry, but he is applying pressure wants her to essentially change her own assessment and opinion of herself and her skills to suit his (needs). maybe he wants a certain headline, maybe it’s just a personal thing. and this is when her dad steps in.

and rightly so, he recognises what is going on immediately and wants to protect his daughter from limiting thoughts that might crop up in her mind due to these questions. even seemingly simple questions like that can unsettle and make someone unsure of what they just said. especially if it's a child/minor vs an adult in a conversation. and when it's done over and over again.

now imagine if instead of it being a journalist, it's your parent and there is nobody to stop the questions and interrogation. a parent who feels threatened perhaps by your youth or innocence or curiosity and naivety, things you don't have any control over and should be able to experience like everyone else gets to. every time you try to assert yourself, discover who you are as a person, start hobbies, a sport, just sit in your room, or go outside with the one friend you have, anything really...you are pummelled by a barrage of questions meant to make you doubt yourself. sometimes it's small comments, sometimes they are snide, other times passive-aggressive. you are told you are worthless, unwanted, a curse, and will never make it or survive without them. you are blamed for everything, you are attacked, you are triangulated into arguments that have nothing to do with you, even the love you still have for your parent(s) is rejected or viewed with suspicion. this goes on for hours sometimes. over and over again for years on end through your entire formative years.

as a result, your sense of self shrinks, shame begins to build and anything you associate with yourself makes you doubt and question. is it even worth it, are you able to do it, what is the point etc…? you begin to feel like an imposter, no matter how much you practise or how good you are. you feel like all love/care is transactional and since you already think lowly of yourself you the thought that nobody would ever truly value you begins to form. and if they do, you cannot handle it and you sabotage. when you‘re at you lowest and need to come up with a way to solve your problems, their questions and doubts come up to the surface, instead of what you actually need.

as children, the most important thing to our survival is our parents. so if they say something negative about us, we align our own thoughts and opinions with theirs in order to be on their good side, in order to survive. even if we know what they are saying is wrong. it is hard to hold two opposing views at the same time (also a source of neurosis according to jung) so sooner or later something will have to give.

i recently re-discovered the concept of limiting beliefs. it's essentially core beliefs that we picked up, usually in our younger formative years, that helped us get through a rough time, but still continue to influence our behaviour. this is the next thing i will look into for myself.

[starmora]

I just figured out why Gunn's comments about Gamora's real family being the ravagers bugs me. It falls into the trap of propping up the ravagers as equal to the guardians within the public consciousness and mcu importance and they're just not. Look at how Gamora has been excluded from almost every single major merchandise release for vol 3. No action figure, no funko pop. Not included in lego sets. Now look at how Kraglin and Adam Warlock who are shown at the very end to become part of the new team ended up being included. Being a guardian counts for something when it comes to importance. Gamora is the female lead and was excluded from merch because she wasn't a guardian. That's pretty revealing. Maybe she will get something later and I hope she does but I'm starting to doubt it and the fact she wasn't included from the get go still matters. I saw Gunn make a comment on Twitter about how he told people they should make merch for blurp while making vol 3. That's fine and all but he didn't/doesn't even notice merch for Gamora is almost non existent.

The Ravagers aren't who people think of when you say gotg. They aren't who fans are most invested in. They aren't who the story is built around. Pretending otherwise is disingenuous. Gamora can be family with the ravagers, but making it seem she can't be included in the guardians family too absolutely says she's not as worthy of the same attention and importance as the team/family everyone actually knows, thinks about and loves.

I know the ravagers and the guardians are pretty solidly linked but yeah, I just think it’s so fucking bizarre how, because she’s a ravager, she just straight up doesn’t get to be included in any of the merch. I mean, even Yondu got more merch during vol 2 than Gamora has gotten this time around so like is it even really about the fact that she’s a ravager or is that a convenient excuse for these people on why they’re excluding her? She’s actually always been excluded on merch though, to the point where for the last nine years I’ve had to have a rule with pretty much everyone in my life that if they see gotg merch they think I’d like, if it’s an ensemble and Gamora isn’t included, I don’t want it. Needless to say, I have hardly any vol 3 merch.

[regarding-stories]

Didn't expect that: "Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai"

There are shows on Netflix that I notice, then don't watch at first, remain confused by their descriptive text, then watch after all. It kind of was like this with the amazing Romantic Killer, and it was definitely like this with the Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai.

I somehow stumbled about some online comments disliking the series, and let it sit for a while. But somewhere down the line I was casting about for something to watch, and frankly, it completely surprised me.

(I will do some spoilers, but I try to keep it light. Also, looking for an article I wrote about Romantic Killer I found I haven't written one - talk about being backlogged!)

My Little Science Mystery

At its heart, the show looks at consciousness and self partially from a perspective of quantum physics and mathematics, focusing on aspects like attention, observation, strong wishes, parallel selves, and branching timelines. To get such topics into the story it invented "Puberty Syndrome / Adolescence Syndrome," a mysterious condition most people believe to be an internet urban legend. Except that almost everyone that loner and high school 2nd year Sakuta knows or ends up knowing will end up having it - if they're girls, that is. Or himself.

To explain what that is, let's go with the opening scene. Future heroine Mai, an extremely good-looking third-year (and hence Sakuta's senpai in high school), walks around the library in a Playboy bunny costume, unnoticed by most everyone except our protagonist. This seemingly eccentric scene from the trailer has a serious background - an increasing number of people cannot see Mai anymore.

Sakuta teams up with Mai and his hot science geek friend Rio to solve the mystery, digging into the relationship between the observer and the observed from quantum mechanics - or rather the idea from philosophy: If a tree falls in the forest without anybody seeing it, has it indeed happened? (And what sound does it make?) This leads of course to also very practical problems: You need other people to observe you to interact in daily life. And it begs the question - if our reality is a consensus, do we need the acknowledgment of others just to exist...?

The show, behind its science-y techno babble, actually has a lot of heart. The problems all root in emotions, interpersonal problems, and their resolutions are often very dramatic and touching. This is true of Mai's story as of the other ones to follow.

Some things to note

First of all: the series name. Each book in the light novel series has a title starting with "Rascal Does Not Dream Of" - but somehow the anime series got named after the first installment. This is most apparent once the money-making train rolled out of the station - instead of continuing the apparently successful anime series, the very dramatic events of two volumes were packed into two animated movies (mo' money! kaching!) - Rascal Does Not Dream of a Dreaming Girl and Rascal Does Not Dream of a Sister Venturing Out. I had not access to these so I read the books.

The books, in turn, are very readable, and given their content, these two movies are some heavy, dramatic shit, no doubt. The series heavily escalates its dramatic impact towards these two titles. In fact, you could say the books rolled into the anime series are actually a setup of characters and ideas that will culminate in these movies. (Which will also invest you into watching them. Well played, studio, well played indeed.) Sakuta's own Puberty Syndrome, that of his sister Kaede, the mystery stranger Shouko, all of that is set up long before you ever really pick up on it, revealing a series that had a long-term plan.

The books are good reads, solid prose, too. The pacing of these two particular books is kind of dragging, but the author really wanted to transmit the heavy emotions of the protagonist. They certainly had me near my limit! The story of Mai, Sakuta, and his first love Shouko is beautiful, sad, dramatic, and ultimately very, very satisfying - and I don't want to spoil it for you! Just know that if you only watch the anime and I guess the movies, you're probably in for feeling very rewarded and satisfied - after a certain amount of suffering. (Again, couldn't watch the movies, but the book version is already top.)

Having started with the anime, I can only guess that the term "rascal" is what they translated differently when Rio keeps calling him a "pig." Somehow she always insults Sakuta (throughout the anime series), and admittedly Sakuta has a pervy side - but unlike most protagonists he seems to be a bit of a happy masochist when it comes to his love interest.

Anyway, the show and books are well worth it, the cast of characters is built over time and well done, and innocuous background details presented in the start will be the seed of more stories to come. The series is going strong, there are still untranslated light novel volumes, and so I will keep on reading.

[mannatea]

in order to rewrite/edit fics i originally posted in the 2005 to 2009 era, i must, unfortunately, submit myself to the mortifying ordeal of Reading My Own Shit.

this is, quite frankly, a cruel and unusual punishment to inflict upon a writer, but especially someone who used to sign off with ::pawprints:: on every chapter, and who abused the =^.^= face and *glomps* and god knows what other dumb shit I said. that’s to say nothing of the idiot story ideas. i really did just write anything that came to mind, didn’t i.

in my defense, with something like 600 fics under my belt between 2002 and 2012 (the last logging the wayback machine has of my old account), i was clearly completely consumed by writing. i low-key wish i still felt that way.

also, there’s just something insane about like, the obvious patterns? just going down the list you can see the fandoms as i hopped in and out of them, there are a LOT of tragedy/angst fics that come in spurts in like, every single fandom i’ve ever been in, and...the holiday i wrote the most ‘fics for is actually mother’s day???? (i hadn’t consciously even realized this until just today!) 

and then there are the revIEWS. “10/10. My favorite ToS story I have ever read, seriously. In fact, one of the best fanfictions I have ever read.” 

SIR...this is a Wendy’s fic I wrote in 2005.

sometimes i forget how wholesome and sweet fandom was for fic writers from like, 2000 until 2010 or so. the amount of positive sweet feedback i got from total strangers is actually heartwarming even now. i doubt any of those people even know that they contributed to me continuing to write for years and years. 

of course, looking back now i know those stories are mostly dogshit, but like, i dunno, everyone has different tastes and standards to define what’s enjoyable, and that can change as you get older or learn more. there’s plenty of stuff from even 2014 that i’m not very proud of, but which i can never dislike simply because, just like a lot of my old works, people liked it or connected to it. 

like, i’ll never forget a comment i received on an old inuyasha fanfic that dealt with the subject matter of a stillborn baby, because someone commented on that fic and told me it touched them. they’d gone through something similar and wanted to thank me for my “beautiful story.” that was in 2003. i can’t even begin to imagine reading that story now, but once upon a time it did some good for someone. 

and yes, if you’re wondering, i’m procrastinating finishing this rewrite because it’s very frustrating for me and makes me feel itchy lmao. like it’s not technically bad but it’s boring, and sometimes boring is worse, actually. 

[southern-continent-skies]

It is darkly ironic to me that tumblr absolutely loves to talk about gaslighting, but when an ACTUAL situation of gaslighting comes up, they don’t even recognize it. Which is the point! If it’s not subtle, it doesn’t work. But you can SEE OP here doubting himself, assuming that if she told his parents she must have also told him - real masterstroke on her part (derogatory).

Because look. Whether the wife mentioned the move or not (and based on the rest of this I’m betting she didn’t), that’s not good enough. If she had been addressing that issue with her husband with the seriousness that both it and him deserved, he would not be in doubt about whether it had come up, because there would have been multiple conversations about it.

Like. The housing situation. The school situation, or in this case the childcare situation - which, she appears to have made, unilaterally, the decision that of course he won’t “have to” work in the new city (and indeed, he won’t be able to, because his parents won’t be around to do childcare). Like, what the fuck??? Why didn’t she talk to him about any of these serious issues??? He’s her husband? He’s the other parent of their kids? Moving to another city is a THEM decision, and she’s consciously chosen not to involve him in it. And then, THEN, she presents it as a fait accompli, since he’s already been so supportive of the promotion *in general,* before he knew all the facts. Why is he changing his mind now?? *shocked pikachu face* That part’s not gaslighting, but it absolutely is a manipulation tactic.

I don’t know if everyone commenting NTA is young or what, but moving a family to another city is a big deal, actually, and it’s not something you can just do without fully considering all the angles. OP’s family, who he’s very close to, and his entire support system in this town, and “more money” (and even “out of a lab and into an office”) isn’t necessarily a good enough reason when there are so many things to take into account. He matters too! Why doesn’t he get a say in this incredibly consequential decision that involves his entire life?

Bottom line, maybe if his wife had respected him enough to fully have this conversation with him and involve him in the decision-making process like the co-equal spouse that he is, they would ultimately have decided to move anyway. But her choice to keep him out of this is a HUGE asshole move on her part, as is, and I still cannot believe this, *telling his parents,* so that he would look like the weird one when he said they never discussed it. That’s really what flips it from “unfortunate dire miscommunication” into “gaslighting” for me - it’s not just that she doesn’t realize that this was something she really ought to be discussing as part of the move, she deliberately didn’t discuss it with him. Yikes! Full siren-blaring yikes!

I hate saying this, but a genderflipped version would, I really hope, have a lot more people recognizing that the situation of a much higher-earning partner unilaterally taking steps to move the entire family to another city, away from the other partner’s job, family, and support system, and effectively drafting them into fulltime childcare (with all the attendant restrictions on being about to go places, meet people, and have independent access to money), is a huge problem and a massive red flag. This is not a #girlboss situation, it’s the other thing.

tl;dr - OP is absolutely NTA for being upset about being treated so dismissively in this situation, and not wanting to uproot his entire life when this is the first he’s hearing about the possibility, and this whole situation seems like the tip of the iceberg for Potentially Concerning Stuff.

AITAH for telling my wife no?

My wife (35f) and I (38m) have been married for 12 years, dated for 3 before that. We have 3 kids (10m, 7f, and 5f). We both work full time in separate fields, she does some chemistry thing that I don't understand and I am a manager at a computer repair store my friend runs, and also a short story writer when its slow. She is definitely the breadwinner bill payer between the two of us, but I bring in the fun money for our family and would be completely listless if I didn't at least work part time. We also fully own our home because of her job.

Also, my parents watch the kids for us during the week when we are working. It's been this way since our son was born, and they've been doing it less since they are all in school. But it's free childcare, they refuse to accept money unless it's reimbursing for buying food.

Ok, now that all of that backstory is set, here's where the problem begins.

A couple of months ago my wife started pepper into conversations about a possible promotion coming up that would get her out of the lab and into a more "manage the lab team" position, with less dangerous hours for more pay. Ever since the first time she mentioned it I've been hyping her up and telling her she's a shoo in for the promotion, especially since she's been working there since her masters internship and now she has a PhD.

Last night she told me she was getting word today if she got it! After she left for work this morning I called my boss up and told him I couldn't come in today, and then told my parents the kids were saying with me. We spent the day cleaning the house, drawing congratulations cards, and making a congratulations banner. We also made a couple cards that say sorry and we love you for if she didn't get it. I was working on making her favorite dinner (lobster rolls with lobster bisque, because she's a fancy lady) when she got home earlier than normal. Everyone was surprised, because noone is usually home at this time and yet here everyone was. She got tears in her eyes seeing everything we were still working on, got down and hugged our two youngest, and said she got the promotion! Cheering all around! And that's when she dropped the bomb, saying we need to get a realtor in a state three away from us so we can relocate within the next two months.

I was stunned, and just said no, we arent moving for this promotion. In all of her talks she never mentioned that the promotion wasn't for the same location she's been at. All of our family is here, her parents and mine, all of our friends are here, my job is here. She insisted that she's mentioned relocating before but I swear she never did. That set of a completely new argument about never listening to her and only hearing what I want to hear, and how this will make it so I can stay home with the kids and not even need a fun money job. During this I noticed she was typing on her phone, and when I asked why she was multitasking an argument she said she was texting my parents to get the kids so they don't have to see this.

When my parents got here they congratulated her on the promotion and asked how long until we move.

She told my parents the promotion included relocation.

I'm typing this on the couch in the basement, because I can't face her right now. My parents knowing means she probably did say we would need to move if she got it. I don't want to move, I like my job, and our house. I like being near my parents. I know this would practically set us for life but I don't want to. I know I'm being selfish, and I know I must not be listening when she talks, but I still don't think she should accept the promotion. I still think no.

What are these acronyms?

[violettelueur]

RYŌMEN SUKUNA || PROUD

| featuring : ryōmen sukuna from jujutsu kaisen

| warnings : grammar errors, swearing and mentions of injuries, blood and death.

| form : imagine

| word count : 1574

| published : 18 november

| request : Aaaa,, I really love your Sukuna imagines! Can I request an Imagine where it’s related to ‘kind hearted’, the reader gets hurt and sukuna gets upset? Thank you so much! Keep up with the great work!! 💞🦦

| barista’s notes : let me admit this, i’m not confident with this imagine ʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ i tried changing it a few times but i was really doubting myself every time and this was the result of it, so i’m so sorry if you don’t like it ʕ； •`ᴥ•´ʔ also i’m not really good with fight scenes so if there are any advices that can be given to me, thank you so much ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ i hope you love your classic cup of black coffee and come again soon!

To say that you were screwed was more than an understatement. 

Right now wasn’t the ideal situation to be in for any jujutsu sorcerer that wasn’t Gojo’s level.

At this moment and time, standing in front of you was a special grade curse.

What made the situation worse was that Kugisaki was separated from the whole group making the mission more complicated than it needed to be.

“Itadori! Fushiguro! Go find Kugisaki and find the exit to the building, I’ll keep the curse in place!” you demanded, as you knew you didn’t have much time to explain the risky plan you came up with.

“Are you crazy? It’s a special grade there is no way you could defeat it right now!” Fushiguro shouted, trying to know what was going on in your head, thinking that you were utterly crazy for what you just stated to him and his classmate.

“I don’t care! Look, it’s having fun and underestimating us meaning it will use weaker attacks on me, buying time shouldn’t be too hard, just give me a signal when you and Itadori are safe, okay?”

Looking at you with widen eyes, Fushiguro continued to look at you like you had gone completely insane before closing them to clear his mind. What you were saying had much sense in it. Compared to the remaining people in the room, you were the one that had the most potential to defeat the special grade curse if you could, even when you and him were both grade two sorcerers. 

“Okay,” Fushiguro muttered quietly - still reluctant to leave you - before turning around and grabbing Itadori to go along with your plan, leaving you completely alone to defend yourself.

Turning back around to look at your opponent, you reached to the side of your hip to grip on the halt of your katana before slowly pulling the sword out from its sheath. From what you could observe, this special grade wasn’t a normal special grade, there was no way it could be deemed one yet it was. From what was going on around you, the curse hadn’t been able to construct a complete Domain Expansion, more of an Innate Domain at best making you come to the conclusion that it must have eaten a cursed object at best to become as powerful as it is - most likely Sukuna’s finger for one example.

Lifting your sword in front of you, you aimed the pointed tip at your opponent before tilting your head to the side to see what else you could observe from your distance.

“Would cutting your head off look best or would cutting both of your arms first be more sufficient?”

Of course, the curse couldn’t reply to you leaving it to only physically answered you with an immense amount of curse energy forming within the palm of its hand, ready to throw it at you.

“Looks like your arms are the first thing I gotta get rid of,” you answered yourself, as you quickly dodging the attack, only to suddenly appear in front of your opponent, leaving yourself enough space to swing your sword down to fully slash its left arm off as you then went ahead and spun behind its body to slice off the other off before pulling yourself back to gain some distance away from the curse.

However, what you had completely forgotten was that special grade curses were able their curse energy to heal themselves, as the curse’s arms suddenly regenerated as if you didn’t cut them off seconds before.

“Damn, I should have gotten your head first ha?” you rhetorically questioned, before using your free hand to pull a long black chain out of your pocket and attaching one end to the hilt of your katana. “Let’s see how fast you can catch,” you commented, as you then threw your katana while aiming for it’s head, using your curse energy to increase the speed it was going at. However, much to your dismay the curse unexpectantly grabbed onto the metal blade, leaving you no choice but to let your curse energy slowly flow through the chain all the way up to the blade causing a large red orb form at the end, quickly exploding before the curse could even react to stop it.

Swiftly, you pulled the chain back so you could retrieve your sword only to then suddenly see the smoke clearing and a large wave of curse energy coming towards your direction.

“Shit!”

In sheer panic, you use your feet to push yourself to the right to move away from the blast before your whole vision was concealed by the rubble and dust. 

Pain. That was all you felt. Pure pain. 

Were you going to die? Wasn’t you expecting that once you told both your classmates to find Kugisaki and run? You couldn’t lie to yourself, it was too painful to think about death right now. You couldn’t think straight at all.

Once the smoked cleared, all that the special curse could see was your standing figure panting heavily with your left sleeve completely gone due to the blast as blood gushed down your left arm. You had barely managed to get yourself out of the hands of instant death and luckily nothing of your body was disintegrated, just some burns and cuts here and there - to say it was surprising to see you standing was an understatement.

“From our battle so far, you lack the form of curse technique, but you still can pack a punch, ah it hurts,”

The blood loss was getting to you. Yes, having no limbs was not the better option but you could still live with that. What humans couldn’t do was stay alive with no blood and here you were quickly losing your live source the flowed in your body. You couldn’t even cover the wound as there was nothing you could cover it with and even if you did, the wound was too large to be covered. 

You were losing the strength to stand.

You were losing your balance.

You were losing consciousness.

Suddenly, you heard a loud sound of a howl from a distance. Instantly, you knew that Fushiguro and Itadori were able to find Kugisaki and get out. It was his signal. 

However, you weren’t so lucky in that factor, from the state that you were in, there was no way in hell you were able to escape now - but you were okay with that. If the other’s were safe, that was better than not knowing if they made it out alive. Slowly, you were starting to lose the feeling in your legs, causing you to completely losing your balance.

‘Damn,’ you thought, as you felt your whole body suddenly dropping leaving you no strength left to even brace for the impact, leaving you to close your eyes and admitting defeat.

However, just as you were able to fall to the ground, you suddenly felt a pair of arms catching you before you were quickly lifted up bridal style and pulled into a warm embrace surprising you completely from the sudden comfort of what you thought was your lonely end. Who was still in the building? You thought everyone got out, so who was carrying you right now?

From your limited sight, you could slowly make out someone in a dark uniform similar to the colour you wore, meaning it had to be someone from the team. However, the extreme pressure of curse energy that was somewhat suffocating you determined otherwise - no one within the area right now had this much power, no one at all. Unless…..

“Were you the one that caused this?”

Sukuna…

All you could hear right now a shaking tone as well as the couple droplets of water that was within the Innate Domain that surrounded you.

“For a grade two sorcerer, she really blew half of your body up with that little curse technique she used on you, I’m quite proud of my little one,” Sukuna uncharacteristically complimented you, as he gently pressed a little kiss on top of your head before gently smiling at you - knowing you won’t be able to see this rare expression on his face.

“You see, I’ve grown fond of this little human in my arms right now, and for you to do this much damage to her body, really weirdly angers me,” Sukuna stated before he turned around and began to walk away. “Wait there for a quick second would you? I need to take care of this one right now,” Sukuna commented, before gently placing you down at a safe spot to which he then started to use his curse energy to quickly heal your wound once he sat you up straight. 

Brushing away some of the hairs that were in your face, Sukuna placed one last light lingering kiss on your forehead before saying, “I’m proud of you, just wait a little longer, I’ll be back,”.

What was going on?

This had to be a hallucination. There was no question about that. There was no way Sukuna could have saved you let alone kissed you in any way. This was all a hallucination. Wasn’t it?

However, you didn’t have the power to stay awake any longer, resulting you to surrender to the tiredness that was taking over you, letting the darkness invade your whole surroundings, but not before letting out a little mutter under your breath.

‘Proud ha?’

[inspiteallthedanger]

Hello! A few days ago, I saw a comment on here that said John was attracted to Paul, in part, because of Paul's emotional unavailability. I've been mulling that over. I know that being attracted to emotional unavailability is a thing, but I don't really see that from John. Both Cynthia and Yoko seem very doting IMO. I wondered what your opinion on it was!

p.s. I always really love your hashtags, just wanted to say that!

This is such a good question.

I think it's complicated in that you're totally correct. But, there's some nuance there.

Firstly, yes, absolutely he wants all the attention and wants to feel secure and loved. He really does need that. But that was never going to be enough - the call was coming from inside the house in that instance, so there was no external stimuli that was going to make John Lennon feel safe in his relationships.

But, I really don't think Paul's emotional unavailability was what John liked about him. One of things that I found so surprising, when I started really looking into it, was how much he liked Paul. He genuinely seemed to enjoy Paul in almost every single way. Not only because he 'looked like Elvis' the 'most beautiful man he'd ever seen'. But they shared a sense of humor, they inspired each other creatively, they really supported one another and built one another up. They really complimented each other and filled in one another’s gaps. John could give things to Paul and get things in return. That was the point. Paul was also very good at managing John in a lot of ways, which meant that he must have been at least somewhat emotionally open with him, because that’s who John is.

But, I've said before that Paul was John’s type - he is the titular 'Girl' (not that it was written specifically about Paul, it just happens to describe him). John likes to be treated a little rough because he doesn't really feel worthy of love and anyone really worth having would know that on some level. They'd be better than John and they'd know it. It's not just Girl that has that vibe, but it's the most obviously expressed there.

I also think John liked being challenged; this is something they both liked (Paul says that about most of his romantic partners too). Hence all the competition everyone loves to talk about. But John did seem to also enjoy the chase and being kept on his toes stopped him from thinking about anything else. I think he was suspicious of people that were too committed to him. This is what Yoko seemed to know, and she and he were engaged in all manner of mind games that revolved around pulling each other close and then pushing each other away. Seems exhausting, but it sort of seemed to work for them.

Also, I think it's confusing because Paul not being totally committed was probably what made them work for as long as they did. The idea that there could be more, and John's chasing that, probably did add some spark. It also meant he could always think that if he got it, it would be the thing that fixed him. He never had to test it and find out it didn't, and it gave him something to work for. Paul would seem to get close to giving it too and then pull back.

BUT he was getting enough to be mostly happy. I can't stress that enough. Paul was a big part of his life - he wasn't pining away from afar. I don't think John had the patience for that. He got nearly enough. So close to heaven he could almost taste it and for a long time that was fine. That was better because I very much doubt John consciously wanted anything else. Paul clearly let John get closer than he did almost anyone before or since - he simply wouldn’t have been as destroyed by the breakup otherwise. So, the bond was mutually created and maintained. They were both happy. Not that they never argued, but that was the spice that kept it interesting.

Why that changed is such a difficult one to know. Perhaps the frustration just got too much and John realised that maybe he could have it all with someone else. I mean, that's what he said it was, and I guess there's no need to not believe him.

So, I guess I’m saying that he wasn't attracted to Paul because he was emotionally unavailable, but that might have been what kept them going for so long.

Hope that makes sense but shout if not.

[gayofthefae]

i saw ur reblog to my post and i just want to say yes, yes, yes a million times yes. i know a lot of ppl dont trust the duffers because theyre two Straight White Males, but i have so much faith because of the fact that they studied film! like these people spent years dedicating themselves to not only analyzing other peoples media and their subtext, but also studying HOW to do it. And if I know anything about film bros, its that they want their work to be treated as seriously as they treated films in school.

If theyre putting so many obvious (and not so obvious) references (in the closet at rinkomania is the most obvious one i can think of, but also the color coding and the microexpressions and set design), then they KNOW someones going to find them and piece their story together. its a love of the artform on both parts of the producers and the audience that drives the film community, and in turn, many people who ship byler. most of us are here because we love to analyze things, and we saw byler on the way, not the other way around. god i love this community

This! This exactly! We aren't people perusing every show for anything we can stretch to be proof of queerness. We're analyzers who analyzed the show and this ONE OF the things we found! (who aren't even all queer, analyzers just pick up the shit the creators are putting down).

It makes me so very happy whenever I see people respond to their doubt by diving deeper the way I do. As someone pursuing musical theatre and film, it means so much to me to be on both sides and give my appreciation and also see everyone else doing so. It's exactly that that you're saying with the Duffers! As someone in the field, giving that appreciation is like the golden rule for receiving it or even giving it to myself.

And with the Straight White Guy comments it's so hard to argue because in a general sense - they're not wrong, and it is no one's place to tell someone to put more trust in anyone, especially a large group that has a history, but I feel like this isn't so much straight guys writing about queer people as it is the same as the case with all of storytelling - they decided to tell a story with queer people in it. Which is one of the things I love so much. It's a story that isn't centred around queerness but rather the story of these people who happen to be queer but also doesn't erase the way their queerness impacts that story and accurately represents how that contextualizes this experience and motivates it differently.

Honestly, I think it's just two filmmakers - storytellers - choosing to tell a story that represents the world it's meant to reflect. Queer people don't have to be the only ones to tell stories with queer people in them - in fact, it's important that we aren't. This isn't so much them pandering to queer people for brownie points for including us or forgetting we exist because out of sight out of mind as it is just like the general audience breaking down their heteronormativity to see it, two guys who looked at the world and saw the world and put it onscreen and it includes diversity not so much because they consciously chose to add it but because unlike much other media, they didn't choose to exclude it. It's already there and they let it be, which is lovely and why it is so nice to see and why I made an entire post just dedicated to the beauty of queer people feeling like people in this story who exist inclusive of but outside of being queer too. And even paranormal shows have to reflect the real world. A story is dependent on what happens and who it happens to so the PEOPLE need to be realistic.