#and like laios wants to be a cook SO BAD

[osalotte]

okay we all know retail worker laios x retail worker reader but I RAISE YOU:

restaurant au with charming charismatic waiter reader x socially awkward buss boy/dish washer laios.

like. pls tell me u see the vision

[stolen-ass-name]

*Guy that has two (2) D&D related interests only voice* Haha Dungeon Meshi x Baldur's Gate 3 crossover when?

[chilschuck]

hi there!!! I love your blog!!! I know you’re mainly a Chilchuck girlie, but I saw that you occasionally do Laios headcanons/drabbles, and I’m a massive Laios simp. if you have the time and inclination, would you maybe write about Laios realizing he’s falling for a reader who is also autistic like he is? and they’re both so in love with each other, but they don’t realize it bc they’re both idiots, so the party has to set them up lmao

OBLIVIOUS (IN MY LOVE FOR YOU).

꒰ warnings: ꒱ mutual pining, hopelessly in love silly guys, gn!reader. sfw as always!

꒰ wc: ꒱ 1.3k

✦ i hope this turned out how you wanted it!!! i felt bad that i’ve been doing so much chil and nothing for the others, so i was happy that you sent this request!! i’m not sure how to feel about this, but i’m happy to get something out for you!!! <333 honestly i’m worried this turned out badly, but alas, i feel that way about everything asdfdhgjhk. enjoy lovely!!!!

It was more than obvious to anyone but the two of you, much to the party’s displeasure. The mutual pining between you had been a constant back and forth for what felt like ages, and it was almost humorous how in denial it seemed you were.

Laios always spent time chatting with you before bed, his soft voice carrying so much warmth. You always noted how fuzzy your head felt whenever he’d talk about something he was especially interested in. It was almost heartbreaking to part with him to finally rest, longing to continue the conversation for as long as you could.

Little did the two of you know that the rest of the party had their eyes on you, tired sighs leaving each of them. This was every night now, and the fact neither of you were making an effort to come to terms and admit what you were feeling was beginning to become tiresome.

Chilchuck huffed, head in the palm of his hand. “I can’t believe that this is still going on. I’m tired of it.”

Marcille tutted, but the frustration at both of your ignorances was seeping through. “There’s got to be something we can do. They’re obviously so in love with each other...”

And right she was, with how absolutely enamored Laios had become. He’d never felt this way about anyone, the feeling seeping into his bones slowly but surely. With every smile you gave him, words of encouragement, or even reassuring touches, you made yourself at home in his mind and heart. Laios was content with just the whispered conversations and adventures together, not quite piecing together the entire situation just yet.

Marcille was not so sure that was something to be content with. Izutsumi was also getting fed up with the constant beating around the bush, and Chilchuck was sick and tired of watching this ordeal occur. The three of them had decided that enough was enough, and through gossip-like whispers, they decided on a course of action.

“I’ll try and talk to Laios,” Chilchuck settled, although he wasn’t entirely happy with the idea of helping an inner party relationship unfold. It was even harder to watch the two of you continuously pine after each other blindly, so he chose what he believed was the lesser of two evils. “You two convince you-know-who to get some one on one time with him somehow.”

Marcille hummed, finger tapping her chin. “Maybe we could get Senshi to cook something up just for the two of them, get them on a date of some sort.”

Izutsumi flicked her tail in annoyance at this entire scenario, before giving her own opinion. “Let’s just get them stuck in a trap or something.” At that, the elf across from her shook her head adamantly.

“Although that might work another time, I think setting them up would work best. We’ll all conveniently go off somewhere and leave the two of them to talk it out. Somehow…”

Thankfully, it wasn’t hard to get the two of you alone together. Laios would explain something about a monster your party had encountered earlier, delighted at your interest in anything he had to say. Before he knew it, the rest of the party had excused themselves after dinner, leaving just you and him with a cooked meal and unsaid words hanging in the air.

Even earlier, Chilchuck had decided to try and drill it into Laios’ skull that perhaps coming to terms and admitting what he was feeling wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Grasping for straws, Laios tried to create excuses that what he felt for you was just that of a close friend. There was no way he was falling in love, right? Yet, the look Chilchuck had given him shut him up quickly.

“You think friends just look at each other with that lovesick face you’re always making? And it’s not exactly hard to see just how much you care about them. It’s actually pretty obvious.” The half-foot grit out, floored that Laios still hadn’t figured out just how deeply he had fallen.

Marcille and Izutsumi had a similar problem with you, finding that you were convinced what you felt was just that of a deep friendship, of course you weren’t actually absolutely smitten with the man. Giving each other a knowing look, Marcille continued her prodding.

“I think there’s more to this,” the way she said your name so softly held your attention. “You need to talk with him. Maybe talk through just what you’re feeling.”

So now, as you took another bite of your dinner, you tried to figure out just what you were feeling. Laios was doing the same, and the silence, which was never a problem before, now hung with tension.

Both of you tried to speak, before signaling the other to continue, before giving a light laugh at the awkwardness. It wasn’t that just being in each other’s company was the problem, but more so that there was so much left unsaid.

Laios ran his hand through his hair, giving you that tender smile you had come to love so much. “You first.”

Another laugh left you, before your current train of thought followed through your words. “So I was wondering… Have you ever been in love before, Laios?”

That caught him off guard, swallowing hard before thinking of the right thing to say. “Well… I, uh…” A beat of silence followed as you let him find his words. “I wasn’t sure before today. What about you?”

Trying not to get your hopes up, or have the flame within you extinguished so easily, you smiled. “Same here, actually. I think…” You trailed off, just staring at his rosy cheeks and intent gaze making your heartbeat a little faster. Setting your plate to the side, you bit your tongue for a moment. Talk through what you’re feeling… You can do that.

“I guess I didn’t really realize, but… Lately, I’ve been really eager to be around you.” Your voice tried to fight back the tremors rising within you. Before you could continue, Laios grabbed your hand and gave you that intent expression again.

“Me too! I mean, I always really enjoy our talks. I look forward to them a lot.” He spoke a tad out of breath, trying to reign in how he was feeling. Another beat of silence, followed by the clearing of his throat.

“I think I’m in love with you.” You both muttered at the same time, before the feeling of both shock and excitement coursed through you. There was… no possible way, right? But with that doting smile and lovesick gaze he was sending your way, you began to think he did feel the same.

“Thank the gods,” you whispered, a huff of relief leaving your lips. “I had to have Marcille and Izutsumi make me realize.”

Laios laughed, cheeks flushed with delight. “Yeah, Chilchuck definitely gave me a talking to. I think Senshi tried to help me realize, too. It was definitely interesting.”

Both of you shared light giggles before Laios gently pulled you into an embrace. You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, nuzzling into his neck.

“Sorry it took me so long.” He whispered, inhaling deeply, the air leaving him in a content sigh. Your eyes fluttered shut, shaking your head slightly in reply. “No need. That’d mean I’d need to apologize too.”

You pressed sweet kisses to his cheek, to his nose, to his forehead. Laios beamed, intertwining your fingers as he spoke from the heart just what he had been trying to come to terms with. You did your best to do so, too.

Chilchuck, Marcille, Senshi, and Izutsumi all let out sounds of relief at watching the two of you around the corner. Getting both of you to finally realize the extent of your feelings was difficult, but oh so worth it in the end.

“Finally,” Chilchuck grumbled, before scratching the back of his neck. “That only took, what? Forever?”

Senshi grunted, trying to recall just how long it had been. Izutsumi even watched as Marcille rocked back and forth on her feet, a certain sparkle in her eye.

She’d have to get the two of you to be open more often.

— dividers by @/cafekitsune!! <33

[toxycodone]

𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 !

𝘤𝘸. 𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘦

𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘰𝘴, 𝘬𝘢𝘣𝘳𝘶, 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘤𝘬

Laios:

I genuinely think Laios is attracted to the unconventional or stereotypically attractive. Anyone with unique features, personality quirks, etc. If you don't fit in, you're more willing to catch his eye.

He finds it difficult to really like? Gain an interest in someone who doesn't really "stick out". I think it's clear with the way he treats Kabru that like! People kinda are a blur to him! So! anything that makes someone stick out will catch his interest and he'd be more willing to remember them + actually continue to think about them.

MUST. Share his interest in monsters/animals. This is very important. Like there must be a shared interest there whether its just about anatomy, behavior, etc. I just think he needs to be accepted to talk about this and share fun facts. He likes it. Cooking or an interest in food would also be another plus.

Also just? He likes really easygoing people who aren't super judgemental. Laios is really unapologetically himself and he gets chewed out for it by his friends enough. He's very self aware when it comes to his own issues (esp by the end of the manga) so. Yeah. Just someone who he doesn't feel the need to mask around.

Honestly, maybe someone childish would fit his vibe too? I mean this in a more lighthearted sense. Like someone he could play tag with or goof around in the woods with. He missed out on being a kid for a while, and he's still kinda interested in stuff like that (bug collecting, cool rocks, etc.). Even in post manga he still wants this.

Also uhhhh beastkin/monsters/whatever of any kind get bonus points. Do they have to be this way? No. But. It would definitely do some favors to be feral/wild in some way like this.

Kabru:

Okay I am not saying this is healthy or anything, but Kabru is ridiculously attracted to fixer-uppers. The main character/savior/hero complex kicks in and he cannot help it.

This can either be super good for him if the person is like. not terrible and is actually okay with this. but uh. that isn't always the case. Bro is often setting himself up for some sort of situationship most of the time. He cannot catch a break.

But he totally needs to be confronted about this to have a relationship work out. Hope you can be at least a little assertive!

Oh and the people pleasing. It's going so far. Please, I-....

He needs to be stopped.

Ultimately. He's gonna go after the people who show the least interest in him and this SPECIFICALLY comes from his own insecurities as a person.

But in the end he's gonna truly fall for someone who can put their foot down and confront him about these issues. He's so insightful and perceptive when it comes to others and can easily point out and help you with you're own shortcomings. But he is super blind to his own faults. Legit does not. Even realize.

He honestly needs someone to help him grow, because in my eyes I can see him like even post manga being pretty stagnant here so . Yeah. You don't need to be like some badass assertive person either. As long as you can just sit down and have a serious conversation w him about this I think it'd go well.

And he'd fall for you because I think it's the first time he genuinely sees someone who recognizes things that are bad about him + still loves him despite that + wants him to grow as a person and assert his own wishes and needs more. Yeah. I just have a lot of feelings about that.

Chilchuck:

This goes two ways.

Non Toxic Route

He'd easily see himself falling for someone mature and responsible. It would start out as just a professional admiration but it would slowly become more intimate as Chilchuck starts to enjoy their more unique personality traits (and even ones he'd consider annoying) --like being feisty, or maybe they're picky, or they can be silly sometimes. That type of thing.

It's a total slow burn with him.

But he also likes people who are more lowkey. Chilchuck is not a "falls for you immediately/puppy love" kinda guy. He's jaded and has a past and has KIDS so. He needs to be treated gently and not rushed into things. Anyone who lets him come to them and start to be more affectionate without demanding it...yeah. Handle him with care PLEASE.

And speaking of this...he wants to keep up appearances since he does value his professional life and has kids and an ex-wife. So he wants someone that can blend into this life without causing drama or more headaches (his party gives him plenty. pls.)

"Toxic"/Not Gonna Last Route

Chilchuck is easily motivated by the more basic pleasures of life, so I can definitely see him having a bootycall that becomes some weird "what are we" type of vibe.

He's like...in the back of his mind the type to enjoy a "dirty little secret". Something he thinks only him and this person know about. But as time goes on he eventually gets emotionally involved with them and is like "we need to cut this off".

It is an extremely painful breakup on his end for sure and makes him more jaded when its literally! His own fault.

[ghostofdiamonds]

alright having watched the first half of dungeon meshi here are my impressions of the main cast + a couple other funky little guys.

overall: they literally seem like an actual dnd party from a campaign. my headcanon is that when falin died, the dm asked her player if they wanted to make a new character and the player created senshi.

laios: himbo. BIG himbo. I love him. I know he was concerned for his sister but it sometimes felt like he was more excited about eating monsters than saving his sister. I don't even think Falin would blame him she seemed pretty excited too when she found out they were eating monsters. also not to diagnose people with autism but like. if he's not autistic I have no idea what he is.

marcille: I love this girl. she's gay as fuck and I love her. she was least open to eating monsters but by the time they reach Falin she's acclimated to it. she does magic by the book yet she specializes in forbidden magic. her main combat spell is blowing things up. she's an icon.

chilchuck: this is a man who knows what he's about. middle aged man in a union who got paid upfront. you think marcille is the normal one but I'm pretty sure it's actually chilchuck. AND YET he grew to care about the party and will go back down to the dungeon with them.

senshi: SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A COOKING SHOW STAT. imagine that you study a super niche thing for years and one day you're minding your own business and you hear someone say "aw man we're all out of options guess we've gotta do *very niche thing you specialize in*. That was Senshi. he'd been waiting his whole life for this moment. I just KNOW he was having the time of his fucking life down in the dungeon with them. he's living his best life with people who appreciate his cooking and I love that for him.

falin: absolute sweetheart. deserves better in every way. can the universe give this girl a fucking BREAK and also a girlfriend (*cough cough marcille*). she seems normal at first glance but I feel like she's just as crazy as her brother.

kabru: MY BOY. loved his design ever since I saw him in the opening. he and his party are so bad at staying alive oh my god. I can't wait to see more of him.

namari: okay I didn't like her for abandoning Falin but I get it money is tight. if nothing else I respect her for apparently (according to my friend) being bisexual and crushing on the twins she works with.

[cottagec0relover21]

"A slip of the tongue"

[Chilchuck Tims x gender neutral reader]

Warnings: none ‐ fluff ahead - one suggestive comment

At some point during the group's adventuring themselves deep into the dungeon once again, although he wasn't sure when, Chilchuck grew accustomed, in a way, to the way you treated him so differently from the rest.

You always liked to tease him and compliment him. Not like you didn't compliment the others. But you seemed to have a knack for sparing all your attention for when he was near you.

And despite his own rules of not mixing his personal life with work, he found himself sighing in annoyance at himself when he noticed how everyday he'd expect, almost too happy for his own liking, a compliment from you.

Today was no different for everyone. They'd been wondering through the halls of the fourth floor when Marcille's stomach rumbled, catching the attention of everyone.

—Sorry... so much walking is making me hungry again— she huffed, knowing damn well that Senshi would probably make them stop to cook another hearty monster based meal.

—Yeah, me too. After all, we've only had those coinbugs today as a snack. They were tasty but not that filling— (y/n) said as they placed a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder. Everyone agreed to keep walking a bit more and then they would stop to eat properly this time.

And when they reached to that point, Senshi murmured something about "keeping the young ones well nourished" and he got to work on the cooking.

Chilchuck offered to help by peeling something he didn't remember the name of right now, and (y/n) couldn't help but stare as he worked skillfully with his hands.

—Those hands would be good with a partner— they mumble to him as they decide to sit by his side. The comment makes his hands falter for a quick moment, and he looks up at them perplexed.

—Don't go around saying things like that!— he huffs to them, a spark of a blush blooming on his frowning face.—That is so inappropriate...— he mumbles with embarrassment as he goes back to peeling, and (y/n) doesn't bother containing the giggle that erupts from them.

—You're so handsome when you blush, you know that?—.

—I'm not blushing— he denied the fact— and yes I am handsome, you don't need to tell me.— Despite his own embarrassment, he didn't pass the opportunity for playful or teasing banter. That's just how he was. And that's just how they loved him.

Marcille watched them and nudged Laios, excited as if she were reading another one of the chapters on her romance novels. Laios just smiled and went back to watching Senshi cook, more interested in the food than in their companions flirting with each other.

Marcille was glad she had something else to pay attention to beside the monster cooking in front of her that she had to consume later.

—You took your gloves off...— (y/n) noticed, paying that much attention to him.

—Well I wouldn't want to... contaminate the food— he mumbled. (y/n) looked at his hands, and then at the gloves, and then at their own hands. They wondered if he wouldn't mind if they just...

Slipping the finger-less gloves on one hand and then the other, the leather cold to the touch, they gasp in an exaggerated manner just to catch his attention.

—They're so comfy— they close and open their hands, and Chilchuck turns their head to see what they were talking about.

—What is–? Hey! Who said you could borrow my gloves?— he forgets the knife and the food he finished peeling and goes to grab their hands— you desperately want to be me that much?— he chuckles teasingly, observing their fingers. —honestly they don't look half bad on you— he places the palms of his hands softly against (y/n)'s, looking at the difference.

—Oh my spells, just kiss already!— shouts an incredibly happy Marcille as she watches them interact in such an adorable way, interrupting their moment.

Chilchuck scoffs, looking away but not letting go of their hands— as if— he mumbles pretending to be upset by her "stupid" comment. In reality, his heart pounded in his chest as the idea flashed on his mind, igniting a blush on his cheeks once again.

—Ouch, you think I'm that ugly?— they pout playfully, placing a hand over their chest in fake hurt.

—I–! stop it!— he tsked, his eyes flying to look at them—I never said that!— he admits aloud.

His cheeks flush further in realization, even his ears going red at his slip.

—Aww— Marcille and Laios watch from the sidelines, amused by how they joked with each other.

—Thank you— (y/n) mumbles to him, sort of embarrassed by the sudden compliment as they watch Chilchuck cross his arms.

—Whatever...— he stands up and walks to where Senshi is, faking sudden interest in the food that was almost done.

His heart beat wildly inside his ribcage, and the thought that, maybe growing closer to one party member wasn't that bad, crossed his mind to stay there for a while.

[byte-your-tongue]

Dungeon Meshi Characters x Sick Reader

(Platonic, Gn Reader)

AN: Was written with platonic intentions but ig any of them could be read as romantic???? I'm so sick i'm dying which is why i wrote this. That and i wanna get back to writing headcanons when i have the time

Laios:

Will try to get you to eat all sorts of monster parts that are said to give good health. He's trying to help, but some of the stuff he feeds you is questionable....

He will try to perform small healing spells on you if you are in pain.

He would probably ask the rest of the party how to help you and you will end up with a ton of stuff done to you as Laios takes all of their varying advice.

If you snap and tell him to just let you rest he will feel slightly bad for bothering you, but you know he didn't mean any harm by it.

If you want him to keep you company he will info dump about monsters for hours. Don't worry about falling asleep while he's talking, he's just glad you are getting some rest.

"Ahhh... i think they fell asleep. I'll just tell them about this monster when they are feeling better!" He smiles and whispers to himself when he hears your breathing change.

Chilchuck:

Will do all the traditional stuff to help you, but probably isn't well versed in actual medicine.

What he does to help is more like the natural remedies/old wive's tales your mom would give to you. Not all of them are backed by science but he swears they will help and he seems so confident so what choice do you have but to trust him?

If you're nauseous or have a fever he will sit by your side with a cold wet rag and run it over your face.

Will brew you tea and swear it will fix everything (my mom did this w yerba buena tea lol)

Will load you up with citrus fruits if you have a cold.

Is the type of person to tell you to gargle warm salt water if you have a sore throat

He will scold you for getting sick, telling you to take better care of yourself. He will say mean stuff but he's also tenderly staying by your side and caring for you... so like.. do with that what you will.

"Ugh it's such a pain taking care of you, you better not get me sick!" He complains, but he's still by your bedside attending to your every need.

Senshi:

Will cook for you. Expect a LOT of soup while you are sick.

He plans out your meals to have lots of vitamins and nutrients to help you recover faster.

He will sit by your bed and stay with you in silence.

If you want him to talk to you he might tell you stories about his time in the dungeon and all the things he's learned and the people he's met.

He is keeping you SO hydrated you will be forced to drink water constantly.

"If ya don't eat well, yer body won't have what it needs to recover. So take care of yerself and make sure ya eat up!" He says while presenting you with your 3rd bowl of soup today.

Izutsumi:

She does NOT know how to care for a sick person. But she's trying..??

Will cuddle up with you and purr. It gives comfort if nothing else.

She might also lick your hair or otherwise groom you.

If you express concern about her getting sick from being around you she will brush it off saying that as a beastman her immune system is probably better than yours.

Doesn't know how to help you but she's worried about you.

She probably tries to tell you some superstition about sickness she learned from Shuro's party that she believes is totally real.

Might drag Chilchuck or Senshi over to you to take care of you.

Don't expect her to fetch you most of what you need, she will probably sleep more than you do while sick. You can try to wake her up and tell her to get something but she will grumble about it.

"huuh..? You want me to get you food? Why don't you just ask Senshi?" She says while yawning and curling back up in your bed.

Marcille:

Tries her best to look through books she's read to find anything that can help.

She panics quickly and worries the worst will happen even if you are only slightly sick.

Might try to get Falin to help take care of you if she's around.

She probably is more worried about your health then even you are.

She gets overwhelmed and tries a lot of things to fix you but it probably takes Senshi or Falin to remind her that you just need to rest and will get better with time.

She gets very anxious and will stay by you the whole time you are sick. She probably ends up getting sick after you do and you get to take care of a whiny Marcille. (It's ok she's sort of cute while sick)

"*sniffle*, You have to take care of me now cuz you're the reason i got sick!" She whines while curled up in her bed with a disheveled appearance.

Falin:

Will perform healing magic on you if you are in any pain, she will do what she can to sooth your discomfort.

Might cast a spell to put you to sleep if you need the rest.

She's very chill about it and will sit with you and keep you company. She will joke and talk with you while you are in bed.

If you fall asleep she will read or quietly slip out of the room.

You might think she's one of the more level headed ones here and that she wouldn't do anything weird to you. You would be wrong. She is 100% doing some weird thing that's from the village where her and Laios grew up. She's convinced this is good for you even if it's super weird.

She will read stories to you if you get bored. Or she might even come up with stories on the spot to keep you entertained.

"C'mon! Eating raw onions is said to help bring your sense of taste back and help your nose stop being congested!" She says smiling sweetly, meanwhile you're pretty sure she is trying to poison you.

[catchingdaydreams]

Dungeon Meshi spoiler

Theory time : Laios greatest desires

It's been bugging me about what Laios greatest desires are as there are different ways to portray it. So here's my interpretation.

Firstly I want to acknowledge that Laios is still or some what is still the ultimate monster. Whatever he wrote down in his book describing the ultimate monster abilities (not physical appearances I'm focusing on) came true in one way, shape and form. Firstly, the ability to consume the lions desire in the first place. Secondly, in the side stories his poop actually creates a forest. Now the quote "can change shape" actually occurs twice throughout the series (so far).

Firstly turning into the monster and secondary, turning back to a human. The second time was not an act of the Lion as said quote "no magic works on it", thus it is completely Laios doing to shape shift freely. It's also interesting to note that both times he sheds his skin when changing into a new form. Like why this specially? Funny enough we do see this other time, as he turns into a wolf in his dreams to save his friend from the nightmares.

Furthermore, while turning back into a tall man, he isn't completely monster free. His aura remains that other monsters still recognize and therefore fear him.

The idea that weaker monsters fear stronger monsters to the extent of avoiding them is mentioned many times throughout the series. For example Senshi talks about how delicate the food chain is and that a stronger monster (squid/ krachen one) caused an imbalance to the abundance of other species. Naturally dragons are known to be one of the strongest monsters in the dungeon, as Thistle set a variety of different species to kill his party. Yet a common thing arises, coexist is near non-existent as power overall dominates all (either by kicking others off their territory or eating the weaker one). This Laios presence being the ultimate monster is not only removing other strong-ish monsters but disrupting the overall food chain.

Now that I establish what I think Laios is I want to drive it back to what his ultimate desire was. Here are some common ideas that I've seen from others on what his curse was:

To never turn back into the ultimate monster again.

Laios has repeatedly mentioned that he wanted to be another race and fauns over Falins chimera form. So never being able to shape shift again could be his curse.

Never will be full.

This theory stems from when Laios is still eating the dragon despite his friends being full/stick from overeating. They make a comment of concern when Laios says he's not really full yet. There is also speculation from one of the panel of Laios being dramatic as he tried to eat a walking mushroom.

Monsters fearing him and/or fail to cultivate them

In my opinion all of these are correct. Yet how?

Laios cannot eat monsters anymore

It was the main driver/theme thought the series from him and his group to eat monsters to survive. Yet little by little Laios ambitious desire to eat monsters for survival quickly became for the pleasure of taste. This isn't a bad thing, as I would like to clarify. Yet the Winged Lion doesn't really have a grasp of humanity and sees desire as desire, thus is exploiting Laios to go down a gluttonous path. And it does this by offering/guide them to a variety of monsters and access to water and basic needs for cooking. This though doesn't work as Laios is Laios. He isn't selfish. His desires for monsters mixed with the need for acceptance is heavily stated with wanted to integrate and cultivate monsters up on the surface. Furthermore, as he's not alone unlike other dungeon masters such as Thistle or Mithrun, his actions are quickly dispelled if they are reckless. For instance Senshi makes a very important note of keeping the ecosystem in balance and to not over take/kill species as it would upset the food chain. Without his party, gluttony would further be his downfall.

Yet becoming the ultimate monster can also be seen as a gluttonous ideal. He's a apex predator, thus like an actual apex predator no one is able to challenge him / prevent him on what he can or cannot eat eat. The only downfall to his survival is his abundance of prey. Heck being able to eat the lion's desire also alludes to his power of gluttony too.

So with the curse, wouldn't it be ironic to prevent his desire to eat monsters. Being the ultimate monster is now a double edged sword as prey escapes him. He cannot share his desires for eating monsters amongst his people anymore, thus the quotes or trial and error from the epilogue pages. Even if he gets his hands on a monster he cannot truly enjoy eating it, as it never makes him full, which can be interpreted from the epilogue page as well. One might look at the page and interpret as him getting ill from eating the walking mushroom too.

Basically, Laios, as a monster, cannot be a part of an ecological process such as a food webs. He wanted to be accepted and liked by his peers, now he's rejected by nature. Forced to crave for the taste of monsters flesh but it remains elusive.

Forever unsatisfied

By ones desire

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

[thechekhov]

As an autistic person (who is, to be honest also pretty immature) I also really related to Izutsumi. I understand that my pickiness is unreasonable but that wouldn't stop me from rather not eat that try something I don't like or not know, or that looks bad.

I think maybe we misunderstood each other a bit here.

I don't think the issue is Izutsumi not eating things.

If she simply said "I'm not eating that, I'm going to out and hunt for my own food" that would be completely understandable. Hell, even Marcille refuses to eat some of the things Senshi cooks. Not Eating Monsters is a very relatable part of this story. Most people who the party meets refuse to do that. Senshi and the guys - THEY'RE the weird ones.

In fact, in this panel, Laios is being a jerk on purpose and I'm surprised he got away with only scratches.

I joked about her eating the weird little man, but honestly? If she doesn't want to, why pester her? He was just being Laios.

And in the flashback, Izutsumi dealt with things pretty normally - just give what you don't want to eat to Tade.

No dramatics necessary! Everyone wins. She's a cat, she doesn't need leeks anyway.

But the point at which she kinda crosses a line is specifically this:

She yells at Laios about her limits - fine. A bit unnecessary, given that he's just trying to explain their situation, but whatever.

But she then puts the party in danger by going for the Barometz AND then walks away after initiating a battle, because it doesn't suit her.

The difference between what happened with the Ice Golem and now is consideration. Thinking about how your actions impact the safety of others. While Chilchuck and Izutsumi worked together to fell the golem, the others (Marcille and Senshi and Laios) didn't just wander off to look for NEW problems. They stayed nearby, presumably ready to jump in.

They also didn't split the party, forcing Marcille to give chase in order to assure Izutsumi didn't die. (Marcille is also kinda in the wrong here for leaving others, because she also endangered them, but she did it out of concern for Izutsumi.) (Also, Izutsumi would have died if Marcille hadn't followed her, so it's a fair concern.)

The issue isn't that Izutsumi cares about her own needs. That's a healthy thing that everyone should do!

The issue is that Izutsumi doesn't care about the needs of others, to the point of endangering them for very little reward to herself.

She makes no effort to....make an effort? She yells at the party when things don't go her way and demands they make unreasonable adjustments for her. It's not about when she threw away the mushrooms - like, that was funny and partially expected after Senshi got used to the others eating whatever. Though it IS wasteful....

When I say Izutsumi comes across as spoiled to me - that's NOT because of having personal preferences. She can eat whatever she wants, forever. That's a human right.

But I do think she's selfish for demanding that the world and other characters bend (unreasonably) to her will (because they're in a DUNGEON with limited resources) and make it easier for HER specifically, even though attempting to do so endangers them.

But also, as many of you have pointed out: She's not even an adult, she's 17. I assumed she was like, mid-20s, so her behavior makes a lot more sense now.

[elyrch]

hey! i saw your laios dating hc, and was wondering, can you do a marcille on or a falin one? marcille pref but idc what one:)

a/n: marcille my dear italian.....

now, she is a sweet girl. she's quite nice, and does her best to keep you safe, but she's a little fussy. growing up, she was supposed to be very professional at all times and that never really left her.

if you want her to really enjoy being near you, help her wash or style her hair (or both!). her hair is very, very important to her, and if you offer to help her take care of it she'll be absolutely elated (and may even help you take care of yours, as well!)

it's likely she may have some health issues due to being half-elf, and not full elf, so i personally think she may have chronic pain or something similar. it's also likely that she may be more susceptible to disease (especially those that mainly affect tall-men) than other elves, meaning she may have to worry about that as well.

now, depending on what part of the story we're talking about, she may (or may not) be a picky eater. in the later parts, she's gotten pretty used to scrounging up something good to eat with the rest of the party, so she's much more okay with it. HOWEVER, she will NOT eat "weird food" (listen i dont know either, maybe octopus or something, but it seems to change each time you ask her. maybe she just doesnt wanna eat bad cooking?)

if you have a less than fortunate lifespan (similar to that of tall-men) then she will be very overprotective of you. she doesn't want you to die before she does, but knows she can't make you live forever. this is the best she can do.

she'd be happy to teach you how to use magic, but she'd be a bit pretentious at times. not really her fault though, since that's how she grew up thinking about her abilities- she WILL do her best to teach you though.

she's VERY attached to those she loves, often to the point of seeing harmless things as a betrayal. however, this means she's loyal to a fault- and often pushes her fears aside to protect her friends and family.

overall 8/10 girlfriend points docked because she'd DEFINITELY point at food you cook her and be like "wtf is this."

thank you for reading :]

[aspenispoplar]

Ok so here's my thoughts on dungeon meshi as a D&D party finally.

Okay so Laios and Falin's players (P!Laios & P!Falin) are actually brother and sister in real life. P!Laios got his sister to join him in the D&D game he was in. She was pretty shy and so wanted to make a healer character.

So their party plays the campaign for a while. Maybe a couple years or so. Mostly it doesn't have all that intense of a plot, but everyone's enjoying it.

Then in the dragon fight, Falin's player asks the DM if she can save Laios from the dragon's critical hit bite. The DM says sure but she only rolls like a 13, so the DM lets her save him by sacrificing her character, and she agrees.

Everyone's quite shaken up about it all, and to up the stakes the DM has the couple DMPCs/hirelings they had leave the party.

And now we get to the main focus of this headcanon. After P!Falin died, she wanted to make a new character, with a really different vibe from her old one, especially since she had gotten a lot more comfortable playing D&D now. In real life, she and P!Laios enjoy cooking together a lot, so she talked to the DM and P!Laios about it, and out came Senshi- P!Falin's new character!

P!Laios decides to try to help support P!Senshi's desire to focus more on cooking by taking out a book on monster cooking which he put in his inventory as a bit during character creation.

Basically it went like this

DM, (thinking to DMself: they're pretty overleveled now for the earlier layers of the dungeon, I should try and make it harder on them): so, you're running low on money. Even without the hirelings to pay, you need to sacrifice some of your expenses or sell some of your equipment to afford everything you lost.

P!Laios: Hey DM, how much do our rations cost? Because remember that meme book that I gave myself during character creation on cooking monsters?

DM: *very large sigh*

P!Senshi: *barely-restrained giddiness*

That's the main headcanon, but I also have other minor little headcanons about the other two player's characters.

Chilchuck's player has had some antagonistic DMs who loved torturing their players with traps in the past, so when they were told by the DM that the campaign was going to be "a pretty realistic dungeon crawl", P!Chilchuck decided to make the most roguey rogue of all rogues to ever rogue. They maxed out the trap-finding score to the point where the DM had to actually start including more traps for Chilchuck to feel a bit more useful, since the DM never actually planned on using very many traps in the campaign.

Marcille's player is a huge anime fan, and has made on-and-off jokes this whole time about the dungeon being some sort of bad isekai plot.

DM: Marcille, you feel a wet splash on the top of your head, only seconds before a slime drops on top of you.

P!Marcille: Oh? It's on my head? Is it suffocating me? Choking me perhaps...? Restraining me?

DM: Fuck you. Also you take 2 acid damage.

*everyone laughs at the DM's pain*

DM: There is a large plant monster in front of all of you

P!Marcille: Oh? Does it have vines? Like, tentacle-ish vines?

DM: You know what? It does now. It's rolls a 17 on grappling you. Have a good time with that.

P!Marcille: *waggles eyebrows* okay then

DM: I am going to hit you with my car covered in hammers rigged to explode multiple times and hammers go flying everywhere

While all of this is going on the DM is actually secretly very pleased to make a bunch of worldbuilding around the dungeon ecosystem and monsters and everything.

[dunmeshi-darlings]

Can i get uhhhhhhhhh laios (and maybe cute platonic stuff for the rest of the crew?) x an orc reader? blease?

oh this sounds delightful id love to do this! im going to do everyone else and THEN get to laios

You and Marcille had a rocky start to your friendship to say the least. The issues between the elves and the orcs still caused some bad blood between the two of you. Sure after senshi cooked for everyone it had gotten better, that issue was still there. Plus you already weren't the biggest fan of magic so this was just another point of contention between the two of you.

You two would argue back and forth and numerous times you two would end up getting annoyed at each other and bicker to the point chilchuck had to step in. Eventually though as you grew to know each other more you warmed up to each other.

You realize that despite her attitude, marcille is actually a genuinely kind person who cares about others and doesnt think she is better than anyone (unlike most elves). So you two eventually become good friends and even joke about how you two were at the start.

You already knew senshi since he had spent years among the orc tribe and so you two were already good friends at this point. In fact he was the one that promised to the orc chief that you would be ok and he would make sure of it on his word.

However when you joined the party a new issue between you and senshi started, What he made you eat. You were particular in what you are willing to eat, the problem being that in senshis eyes you werent getting proper nutrients and you two would argue back and forth about eating things like vegetables and other foods you didnt like.

Eventually you and him come to an agreement, you would eat the vegetables and other things he cooked up only if he made sure they were small enough that you wouldnt notice them or they were cooked in a way to hide things like flavor and texture.

You and chilchuck actually got around pretty well when you first joined the party. You respected his skills as a lockpick and how good he was at avoiding and disarming traps. you couldnt count how many orcs had been injured or worse from those damn dungeon traps. So having somebody who knew what to do around them was nice for a change.

You knew about half foots and so you didnt treat him like a child, in fact chilchuck was older than you so you treated him as such. This made him happy considering how senshi and marcille treated him. However when he revealed the fact that he had a three children and a divorce it caught you off guard.

Chilchuck and you would also share drinks some times. You and him being the only ones in the party that enjoyed alcohol. The two of you would enjoy drinks together and tell stories about each others lives. You wouldnt have expected a half foot to be able to keep up with an orc in terms with drinking, but the little guy was full of surprises.

You and izutsumi bonded immediately over your shared pickiness with eating. Both of you backing the other when refusing to eat certain foods.

Her care free lifestyle and looking out for herself as well as her physical prowess reminded you of a fellow orc and you began to see her as an honorary orc. She found you to be the least annoying and so would often stick around you more than anyone else.

Thanks to your body build, fur covering, and size izutsumi found you the most comfortable person to sleep with. She would curl up against you and enjoy how warm you were, you didnt mind as it reminded you of sleeping along side the wargs you and leed would raise and you both end up sleeping well next to each other.

Laios was the main reason you joined the party, the respect he showed to you and your fellow orcs was a surprise for a tallman. And the fact the chief and leed supported him made your decision to join him all the more firm.

Laios was more than excited to have you on the team! he was fascinated by the orcs and was so excited to hear you wanted to travel with them. This gave him the chance to ask you all kinds of questions. He asked you about life as a dwarf, about what it was like being a dwarf and any other question that could come to his head.

You answer them all, surprisingly happy to talk about being an orc and what that entailed. You were proud of what you were and to see a tallman respect that and show interest made you feel good. You made a passing comment about how you were sure things like your tusks and fur and tail made you ugly in his eyes. "actually i think there really cute." he comments causing you to stutter and look at him in confusion, expecting him to have been joking but the look of sincerity on his face caused you to get flustered, waving it off saying that a tallman like him wouldnt know about orc beauty. He simply shakes his head saying he does think your incredibly beautiful, that to him humans are boring and so having cool things like tusks and fur and a tail are so cool and he is almost jealous of you.

Ever since then the way you looked at laios was different, before you looked at him as just a rare tallman that respected you and your people...but now you started to view him in a different way. He was kind and caring and shown a genuine interest in you and what you did. You look at him and feel a warmth under the fur of your cheeks, you feel your tail wag excitedly when you see him, and you can feel your mind drifting to him whenever your alone. It is safe to say you had fallen in love with laios

But there was no way he could love you back right? you were an orc, and you could never imagine somebody like him loving an orc. Surely his fascination and comments about you are simply his weird obsession with monsters. That was it, it couldnt be anything else. You couldnt imagine a tallman would ever love an orc?

So imagine you shock when one night he presents you a necklace made out of the teeth and bones of the monster you all had killed earlier. "i was doing some reading and saw that Orc courtship involved creating jewelry and trinkets out of the bones of enemies you have killed. Y/N...i really like you, and i like you more than just because your an orc...even though that part is really cool! but i also do really like you and i wanted to make this necklace for you. If you would accept my courtship attempt." By the time he finished his sentence you had already pulled him into a hug kissing him, it was awkward at first as the two of you adjusted for your tusks and his lack of them but you found your comftorable zone as the two of you kissed. Eventually breaking the kiss he smiles wildly, his cheeks a rosy color "wow! im glad the information in my book was right!"

[nerdyagere]

I've been thinking about Regressors!Laios and Falin and how they are menaces not only to society but to their group

See Marcille is all over Falin because like she's adorable you know, but you can't separate the siblings. You absolutely cannot.

Marcille cooing over Falin while Laios jumps in between them like look at this bug I found :D and of course Falin is also all over it and Marcille is like that's so cool! (She wants to go back to cooing over Falin LOL)

But its not like Marcille doesn't coo over Laios too, she loves watching when he's in his zone coloring/drawing or maybe he's reading up on something and now he's rushing over to Marcille to show her

These two absolutely bother Chilchuck whenever they can, they'll follow him around like puppies and just kinda watch what he's doing and yeah he's used to it from having his own kids, but also these specific kids just can't keep their hands to themselves

"No Laios don't touch that- Falin NO put that down- Laios wait- Falin-" He can't keep up (he's too old)

But he's also the best at entertaining them, like he's good with coming up with silly little games on the spot and he knows how to discipline them, even if it doesn't work half the time

Also he's got built in fatherly instincts, as much as he'll act annoyed, the second either one of them is hurt or upset he's by their side immediately, checking in and asking what's wrong, and he can be so gentle when wiping down cuts or wiping away tears with his thumb

"Hey now, what's all these tears for? You're okay, I've got you," his is dad, he is father, I love him

He can't pick them up but he's a great cuddle buddy to drag into your lap, as much as it sorta ticks him off because he's used to his kids who are shorter than him LOL but it's okay, he won't say anything and he's happy enough seeing them smile

And Senshi dotes over them so much, making sure they're well fed and doing okay and not harmed, all that

But also enables their curiousity and sometimes their bad behavior

Like if they both disappear and are just wandering while Marcille and Chilchuck are freaking out because they didn't say anything, he's thankfully with them and watching them try to catch a cool bug or flipping rocks or making mud pies, though he also didn't say anything so poor Marcille and Chilchuck

Also Chilchuck is a great cuddle buddy but Senshi hands down is the best cuddle buddy, when they're resting or going to sleep, they're often curled up by his side and he's got a strong grip around the both of them, comforting and secure

Also he's the only one in the ground who can pick them up so sometimes you'll catch him cooking with one of them held at his hip or he's running around with one of them on his shoulders

[batneko]

for the last couple days I've been thinking about a Dungeon Meshi AU with the girl version of Laios from the magic mirror bonus page. Like, let's say she got married at 16, and ten years and two kids later she's escorting her youngest to magic school and planning to visit with Falin for a couple days before heading home. She finds out Falin and Marcille (I can't decide if everybody should be gender-swapped or only Laios. If Falin is The Boy he'd probably be expected to become village chief despite having creepy ghost magic, but maybe Laios's husband turned out to be a good leader so there's an unspoken "if Falin doesn't come back would that really be so bad?" among the villagers. But if Falin and Marcille are still girls that could lead to some interesting Deconstructing Gender Norms stuff. I just don't know!) have been planning to go to The Island and study a real dungeon, and instantly flips from quiet and demure (masking HARD) to excited and full of energy, and Marcille asks why Laios doesn't just come along. It'll only be a few months, both kids are in boarding schools, won't her husband understand?

The answer to that is no, but Laios has been dreading going back home for exactly the reason that it'll just be her and her husband now, no more kids as a buffer. She'll have nothing to do but take care of the house and be a Good Wife. Her husband isn't a bad person, but he's never understood her and never bothered to try, he just gets frustrated that she can't remember their guests' names, that she only wants to talk about "weird" things, that she cares more about her letters from Falin than she does taking care of her appearance.

Laios lets just enough of this slip that Marcille misunderstands and thinks her husband is a brute, and Falin has always known that being a housewife didn't suit Laios at all, so neither of them argue when Laios decides to abandon her marriage with only a brief letter back home.

On the trip Laios starts to learn magic, but she turns out to take to combat even better. Her encyclopedic (literally, it all comes from encyclopedias) knowledge of monster anatomy means she'll have the best chance out of the three of them at physically fighting things off if they can't find a trustworthy fighter to hire. But overall she's responsible for organizing their supplies and planning the expeditions. Having experience running a household comes in handy!

Of course, the three of them are pretty naive, and they run through Marcille's savings faster than expected, but they're all so interested in the dungeon that they're willing to stick out the tough times. Laios is so happy to finally be able to Be Herself around people that she starts talking about cooking and eating monsters without realizing that's a step too far for most folks. Falin is, of course, completely supportive, but Marcille and Namari shut it down most of the time. (I'm not sure where Shuro is or if he should be gender-swapped as well. Chilchuck wouldn't join the party until they've become successful enough to pay his rates. If he's gender-swapped this is her way of dealing with an empty nest.) However one day Senshi happens to overhear Laois talking about it while they pass each other and they become fast friends. Marcille isn't sure if s/he wants Laios's obsession with monsters-as-food to continue, but can't resist encouraging this because forbidden love affairs are peak romance. But no they're genuinely just friends and the thought never crosses either of their minds.

Marcille has no idea Laios has actually already had a couple of extramaritals with orc men.

(that's all I got so far!)

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Some Much-Needed Downtime TBH

ok I kinda read these species-swap chapters quickly without commenting 2 nights ago bc I REALLY wanted to catch up to the show, and honestly I didn't have much to say? It was a fun showcase of some different species talents, and introduced multiple fun problems for the characters to solve [takes notes in DM]. But it didn't seem to move either plot or characters forward much. Some notes:

Honestly it's surprising that there's only been 1 count of food poisoning so far, when they're trying SO MANY new things. One must credit Senshi's cooking skills!

This might be the single funniest joke so far:

I've seen multiple posts saying Senshi's elfsona reveals him to be feminine by dwarf standards, and I'm genuinely BAFFLED by that take because it is SO obvious that Senshi's elfsona reveals him to be 1. the Hottest Man You Have Ever Met, and 2. HAIRY. We have seen 0 other elves with facial hair. I dug up that showcase of different elves and 0 of them have facial hair. In the Tolkienien lore from which all modern fantasy, or certainly this sort of fantasy, is derived, exactly 2 elves in the history of the world are said to have had facial hair. Elf!Senshi has a tiny little moustache. Elf!Senshi isn't feminine, he is the HOTTEST, HAIRIEST bear in the metaphorical gay club.

...it's possible that he's more of a himbo than we realize, though.

I don't know what's up with Kensuke and I AM worried that it's being directed by the demon. I want it to be Laios's friend so bad...

It occurs to me that "the winged lion is actually the demon at the root of all of this" is probably the biggest spoiler I've gotten, and I didn't even realize how huge a spoiler it was because I DIDN'T get spoilered for the fact that, so far as the characters know, the lion is supposed to be a helpful god. Don't play with spoilers, kids! Even if you want to read the juicy meta!

This initial fight with the gargoyles is probably my new second-favorite "Laios is really quickly analytical and problem-solving in combat" moment (the living armor fight is still #1). He sees how everyone is failing, prevents more problems as he can, realizes they can't win and puts together what pieces they need to get out. In group social dynamics, he's a mediocre leader at best, but he's a superb combat tactician.

Laios is just living in his own little after-school special, and I love him for that.

That first panel is definitely support for the theory that the 50-60yr life expectancy of "short-lived" races like tallmen, orcs, kobolds and halffeet is shorter than it should be, relative to their ages of maturity, because the long-lived races control and hold most of the resources. It's even possible that their ages of maturity SHOULD be even older, but social conditions force them to become "adults" at a younger developmental age than dwarves, gnomes and especially elves!

Panel 3 is Marcille mentally shoving Chilchuck higher on her list of Lives to Extend by Whatever Magic I Can Learn.

I love how the way they figure out that the mushrooms' effects are easily reversible is literally by thinking through the greater social worldbuilding implications of the effects.

^This is the single most Dad we've ever seen Chilchuck...topped only by that 'carry child like a football' a moment later. Actually, he yeets Marcille a LOT while tall - here, over the jump in the travel montage, with Laios to make a loop for the gargoyle...which I'm dead certain is an indication of how he physically treated his daughters. Those kids got casually, affectionately tossed like salad.

.

AND THAT'S WHAT WE CALL FRIENDSHIP.

...okay maybe I did have several thoughts about those 2 chapters.

.

"[Falin] was much tougher than I was. I hear she and our parents still write to each other" is SUCH a line for painting a picture of Laios and Falin's childhoods, and Laios's feelings on it.

.

you can keep your Kabru Wink(TM)s, I am weak only for the Laios Fond Little Smile(TM).

.

I love how Senshi is still musing on this soul = egg metaphor, and I LOVE how both times now that we've seen Laios genuinely lose his temper, it's because someone was saying "why are you just being excited about eating monsters when Falin is in danger?!", and he's snapping because he is fucking NOT dismissing his sister in favor of eating monsters, he is doing EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER to save her and it just so happens that the only plans with a smidgen of success involve leaning into eating monsters. And by trying to stop him from that, you're stopping him from saving Falin.

.

Laios, how tf do you remember the Wink? I'm 99% sure Kabru never once winked in your interactions; I WAS looking for it. Was he just exuding wink energy? (I mean...yes.)

.

The dramatic irony jokes in this chapter are on POINT. Chilchuck: "There's no way this thing still works" [tram door slams shut on his heels, cars immediately starts moving]. "You won't find a military company in the dungeon" [smash cut to Shuro, Namari and Kabru unhappily leading the Canaries into the dungeon]. Impeccable.

Stopping this one here in preparation for going nuts about implied elf-related worldbuilding in the next chapters!

[ropes3amthoughts]

I love Kabru so much. He’s awesome. I want him. I want him to perform surgery on me; cut me open, poke around at my insides, and stitch me back up. I want to play with his hair, lightly twist the curls around my fingers. I want to hold him. I want to go out to dinner with him, my treat.

Sometimes he makes me feel so excited that I get nauseous. Sometimes when I look at him for too long my heart starts beating worryingly fast, like an alien from the movie alien is going to bust open my chest from the inside, and I need to get up and walk around my room to calm down. He makes me feel like I’m being electrocuted but in a good way. I would walk around in a maze and search for seeds for hours on end if he told me to. I doodle him almost every time I pick up a pen or pencil. When I see posts about him I often start stimming and giggling. I would kiss him in the parking lot of a gas station when it smells bad and the sun is in my face. I would follow him around like a little puppy. I could be his little puppy. I could roll over on my back and go “woof woof.”

I think about him constantly. I love him dearly. I love him. I want him to pet my head and smile at me. I want to cook him a really tasty meal. I want to impress him. I want to lay my head in his lap. I want to buy him pointless trinkets just because they made me think of him and it would be nice to give him something. I want to make art of him out of stained glass. I want to embrace him and rub circles on his back. I want to sniff him and try to guess what shampoo he uses. I want to hold his hand. I want to lick him. I want to hold his head in my hands like a watermelon. I want to sit on the beach with him. I want to lean my face on my hand and have the most interested look on my face when I listen to what he has to say. I want to grow a plant with him, maybe a succulent.

One time I was reading a fanfic and in the fanfic it said something like “Kabru traced nonsense shapes on Laios’ skin” and I imagined Kabru doing that to me and I got so warm and my throat got all tight and I started coughing and my heart started fluttering like I was on a roller coaster two hundred feet above ground and I was just about to go down a drop and I had to put my phone down and take like a ten minute break. I once saw this fanart of Kabru with his shirt collar like pulled down so his shoulder was exposed and I was totally frozen and I kept staring at it like I was in a trance and I ranted about how crazy it made me to my friends and one of them told me I’m the reason schools have dress codes. I still think about that art often. When I saw that one official art of Kabru with long hair I felt like I was dying and my heart wouldn’t stop hammering in my chest and every time I closed my eyes I kept seeing him and when I tried to stand up my legs were shaking and my throat got all tight like I was choking.

He’s so gorgeous. He’s absolutely stunning. He’s breathtakingly handsome. He’s so interesting. What a guy. I love his passion for humanity. I love how smart he is. I love how ambitious and determined he is. I love how he always does what he thinks is right. I love the stupid little faces he makes in the small panels. There’s so much I could say about him and how he makes me feel. I could rant about him for forever but I’m just gonna stop now.

Usually when I make stuff like this I have some images that like help my rant, like I start rambling and then I add images to ramble about, but no images were needed for this one. This was fueled by love alone, no images needed. I see every image of Kabru in my heart. I will attach an image anyways because he has such a gorgeous face. He’s insanely attractive. Here is a cute image of him smiling. I love his smile.

Also I was originally going to send this to Dungeon Meshi Confessions so I wouldn’t need an image for that lol. My original plan was to send this rant (not including this paragraph and the paragraph prior to it) to the confession blog, not make it anon, then reblog it all like “Wow I totally agree with this” when it was obviously just me because I thought that would be funny, but that would take like a week for my ask to be processed and there were only like 6 new Kabru posts when I checked like every tag today so I felt compelled to share my love for Kabru immediately. Plus I feel like if people knew I was trying to do that to be funny it wouldn’t be as funny? It’s nice and easy for me to share my thoughts and feelings in my own post anyways.

After I post this I am immediately going to turn to Kabru related stuff again. Either I’ll work on my Kabru essay, work on one of my one million Kabru fanfics, draw Kabru, or read a Kabru centric fanfic. I love him so much dude. He makes me crazy. I’ve been reading this fic lately and it’s been making me so crazy. Kabru has had a home cooked meal like four times so far and I’m immensely satisfied with that. I love Kabru eating meals. I feel like there’s so many opportunities to depict meals and eating and use like food metaphors and stuff in Dungeon Meshi fan content but so few people utilize that but this fic is feeding Kabru good and it makes me happy. I love Kabru flourishing. Kabru <3