#and like it’s so far outside of the normal comfort zone of this fandom

[thorkyriebabes]

*me trying to think of something normal to say to you*: um um um dragons make me think of you

😭😭❤️❤️😁😁😚🤪😜😎🙏🏻🐉🦖🗻🏔️⛰️

[sunny-mercya]

First-Aid

Poly! Billy Loomis & Stu Macher x Male Reader

Fandom -> Scream 1996

Requested by -> @silentlycoris

Masterlist

»My daddy is a nurse and he once told, always help when someone needs help.«

That had been your sole and only explanation you had given Billy and Stu, when they asked you—after you ushered them inside your house—why you treated their injuries when they're Strangers to you.

It was a night to be remembered of how they both had meet you—it happened after one of their very first testing out kills, just measly murdering back then, wanting to see how it goes—testing the waters—and if they improve on anything.

What neither of them had calculated, that one of their test subjects of killing had been a bodybuilder and the man—much larger in height and more muscular in shape—did put up an good back fight, which did ended in him being dead anyways—but also Billy and Stu getting injured.

In the unholy hours of night, when they wandered out of the alley—in a town a few miles away from Woodsboro—tracking a walk of two hours back home, Stu whined all the way—till they reached the first line of houses of Woodsboro—like a small child, about to have a tantrum any moment, Billy's ear off—complaining about the pain and the blood and how stupid that idea was.

Billy, rubbing his temples—trying to ease his splitting headache—scoffed loudly at his friend, telling him to just shut his mouth and suck it up—jaw clenching in building annoyance.

There just some minor issues of injuries, nothing big to whine about and neither is there a need for going into the hospital—wouldn't be really a good idea—as they could bandaging themselves up just as good.

When passing a few houses—looking so ominous looming without any real streetlights—Billy and Stu flinched visibly, out of surprise, when a Dog started to bark and came—from the small bits of garden they passed—running towards them, sniffing as they're fresh butchered meat—than again, with blood on them, they might be.

»Dallas! Dallas my boy whats wrong?« you came jogging out the door, clothed in baggy pyjamas, when Dallas didn't returned and continued with his barking outside.

Once close enough, you raised your eyebrows at the two strangers—not expecting on your tonights Bingo list of nothing spectacular happenings, to have these strangers—covered in blood, you assumed at least, with the nonexistent light out here it was hard to tell—passing by your house and getting jumped by Dallas.

»Are you....you two alright? You look a bit beaten.« you waged with yourself to ask such, personal, question—whatever happened was not your job to snoop in.

»Your dog's named Dallas?« asked Stu, pushing Billy a bit away to get near to you, ignoring your question completely and his momentary whining of pain—too intrigued on your dogs name, wanting to know why choose such a name.

»Uhm yeah, it was the only name which seemed to fit and click, when he had been just a pup years ago.«

Normally, Dallas would've barked up a storm and snarling his teeth at anyone—who isn't your dad or a very close friend—when they come far too near into your personal comfort bubble zone—and this tall strangers before you, had already crossed such bounds, but Dallas seemed to be okay with it.

»Stu. You're towering again. Stop that, you skyscraper.« Billy pulled Stu, by his hoodie, away from you—giving you a small nod.

»You two seriously seemed to be injured and I don't wanna overstep here any line, but just come inside and I'll patch you two up.«

With that being said, you grabbed them both by their hand and dragged them back inside.

~~~

»I hope you brought me some pizza and Fanta as a payment for me patching you two up, once again.« you said teasingly, when Billy and Stu came through the kitchen backdoor—calling out for you and Stu being overexcited to see Dallas again, although you three had seen each other this morning and afternoon already.

»You getting real pricy here, babe.« Billy grins, licking over his lips as he goes into the living room and setting down onto the couch.

»Oh really? With the amount of medical supplies you and Stu are wasting, because of your little secret what the ever-fuck, I should actually raise my prices of payment much higher than it is.«

Your voice was laced with amusement, getting the wipes of disinfectants, cooling creams and gauzes out—already inspecting Billy's minor injuries.

Ever since the night you first have patched them up, Billy and Stu dropped by two days after—saying their thanks and gifting you chocolate and dog-treats.

Then they keep visiting you, getting to know you better and better over the long summer and persuading—trying at least—to transfer to their highschool instead of going to the one in Flintstocks.

And somehow this blooming friendship, over the last two years, turned into Billy and Stu dropping by also in the late nights—whenever they're finished with their whatsoever secret kinda hobby—to get patched up by you as posses the medical knowledge and you're—by Billy and Stu's teasingly opinion—their favourite nurse.

»[Nickname]! I wanna be patched up first! Billy went first last time already!« Stu whines, he was good at such antics.

You sometimes teased, that Stu reminds you of a overgrown puppy which way too much energy—rivalling against Dallas, when it comes to your attention and affection.

»Well, then how about moving your ass here into the living room, Stu honey?« chuckling, you called back to him—sharing a knowing smile of amusement with Billy.

Like being said, you're indeed their favourite Nurse.

[sweetrottenendings]

"Plea"

Lawrence Oleander x GN!Reader

I might make a part 2 to this idk i just luv my plant wife.

SFW, one single swear word, 899 words. You wanna go on a date with Lawrence. Maybe a little OOC? Still figuring out how i wanna portray him in my writing.

Once again MDNI i promise you this fandom isn't for you.

-

It’s been a long time since you’ve had fresh air- real fresh air, not just Lawrence opening the window a smidge after your pleading. Despite all the greenery littering his apartment (or- your home, the cage you’ll never leave.) it feels as if the oxygen has been sapped entirely. All that is left is the musk, the stench of rot and the way its salt infects your lungs. Is there a chemical mixture of salt and carbon dioxide? Probably, but it likely isn’t what you’re sucking in at the moment.

Sometimes however, it brings you comfort with the familiarity. Stockholm syndrome set in long ago, so long ago that you struggle to remember the moment it hit. You don’t think you’d have it any other way, you love Lawrence despite the revolting relationship that’s been curated in the space- you’re thinking about the air again.

The delicate sound of trickling water sounds out, Lawrence is watering the plants. He’s meticulous, as he is with everything he does. Eyes narrowed and eyebrows furrowed as he dictates the exact amount of water each plant requires. It’s moments like these where you get to observe him in his entirety. The way his form hunches, blonde hair that occasionally clings to his neck, bright blue eyes that used to haunt your nightmares but now soothe your dreams. If only there were a universe where you had met normally, where Lawrence wasn’t as disturbed as he is- and you could be a normal couple. One that goes on cute dates to the park, snuggles together at night when the rain gushes outside, loves each other like normal people and don’t prod at each others spinal cords-

You should stop that thought there.

A park date, you imagine that would be something he could enjoy- considering his affinity for nature. Perhaps he could even enjoy it in this universe? He loves you, he really does- in his own fucked up way. Plus you really, desperately need fresh air. You need to inhale it as hard as you can, to feel alive for once (But do you really want to feel alive?) compared to the hollow death you feel now. Lawrence would never take you out around people however, there will always be that part of him that worries you’ll run and abandon what you’ve created together. (You never will, he’s all you need.)

What about during the night? He could take you to any spot he chooses, hide you from anyone he sees- even tie you to him, surely you could make it look inconspicuous. It would be nice too, the weather during the night is pleasant and far more suited to what he’s used to. He might get angry though, he wouldn’t kill you but maybe he’d finally go through with the threat to cut off your limbs. After pondering for a moment, you decide it’s worth the risk.

Your voice cuts him out of the zone he’s found himself in- he turns sharply towards you. He isn’t as trembly as he used to be, now confident in his power over you. “Lawrence-” Your voice is soft, the way you’ve trained it to be, “I have a request…”

He stares at you, unblinking.

“This is t-the biggest thing I will ever ask of you, and I won’t be upset or surprised if you say no.” It’s not like your feelings matter anyway, but you hope it may soothe any anger. He places down the watering can with a soft sound and makes his way to you. You haven’t been tied up in a very long time, but sometimes you sit yourself in the same chair from the start- it’s almost comforting. He kneels down to your eye level with a stern stare, and nods- prompting you to continue.

“I-I want to go outside-” He inhales sharply “-with you…” He exhales. “A date, in a park maybe, during the night so there isn’t anyone around…” You give him a sweet smile, as loving as you can, “...it’d be just us, like it’s meant to be.” he continues to stare, blue eyes burning into your soul and eating whatever confidence you had left- jaws wide and unrelenting. He must be angry, surely, he’s going to cut your limbs off and tie you back up, you’ve destroyed everything!-

“Okay…” You blink.

“Okay?”

He nods “We… we can go out.” You feel your heart swell with the most joy you’ve felt in your life, it bursts at the seams like you’ve just gorged yourself at a buffet. You want to hug him- you reach your trembling arms out in hopes he understands, and he does. Taking you into his arms, soft yet oddly strong for someone like him, he wraps you into his being. A hand comes up to stroke your hair in a soothing gesture- you didn’t realise you had started crying. You nuzzle your face deep into his chest, a grateful mantra pouring from your forever scarred lips. He tilts your head up to face him- a warm smile splayed across his face, filled with nothing but love for you, only you, forever you.

His voice is the gentlest you’ve ever heard from him,

“If you try to run, I will kill you.”

You smile back,

“Good, I love you Lawrence…”

He doesn’t say it back, but he doesn’t have to. You know he loves you.

[fainthedcherry]

2024 Human Art VS 2019 Human Art !!!!!

AS PROMISED, HERE'S A POST WITH SOME NEW ART!!!

And also an art comparison, just to see, how much I improved in drawing the 2 bois <3

I'm MEGA tired despite having slept after work, but I WON'T let that deter me from writing a description!! YAPNADO AHEAD;

FINN AND MARCOOO. FINNANMARCO. BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE ACOUSTICALLY AND FERALLY YELLED ABOUT MY 2 FICTIONAL MEN WHOM ARE CLOSE TO MY HEART.

I'm SO glad, that in the new drawing, Marco finally looks like the twink he always was, but still enough meat on the bones to look NORMAL lmao, can't say that about the 4 other sketches of me trying to redraw this ref for years. xD (why yes, his wings took forever, why do you ask? /lh)

I'M MEGA SUPER DUPER GLAD, that Finn FINALLY looks like a chubby, wild bastard TOO, OH TOOTHPASTE MAN, HOW MANY HEARTACHES YOU GAVE ME OVER STRUGGLING TO DRAW AN ENDOMORPHIC BODY TYPE. BUT I CAN NOWWWWWWWwwww!!!!!

God this habit of loudly reading out my posts as I type them made me realise what a bad Schwarzenegger impression I do on accident bc I'm overly excited to post something after a month of silence SDKFSKLDG

ONE THING I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO. IS PUT EVERY DETAIL I NEEDED ON A BIG REF. SO I DID! I've drawn closeups of the boys's eyes, I've drawn Finn's tongue so that I don't need to constantly remind myself what his blush and flesh colours were sdfkldsgkl, I FINALLY denoted their heights, so people know that they're tall TALL dudes (and that Finn obviously will struggle w/ his lanky mfing legs, we LOVE giving a middle-aged man heart attacks once he reaches his 40's!!!)

ANNDDD ALSO SOME SIDE VIEWS OF THEM. The last side-view I had of F & M, looked REAL bad. Like, Marco's face looked WAY too stereotypically European (to my fault bc surprise surprise not many African people live in Europe so I had poor frame of reference but I've been fixing it via looking up images online instead, at least it helps but yeah, I have a hard time so far unfortunately💀), Finn's was just... B u c k e t. NOT LIKE HANDSOME BUCKET. BUT JUST BUCKET. IT NEEDED FIXING (fun fact I accidentally made Finn have the most attractive jaw shape for men according to beauty standards and I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I JUST WANTED THIS MAN TO LOOK S Q U A R E AND THAT'S IT, MINECRAFT STEVE HAS MORE RIZZ THAN MOST MEN OFFICIALLY).

OH YEAH ALSO A CLAW REF AGAIN FOR FINN!!! His old ref looks too cool for me to give up on it tbh even as dated as it is sfjklsdglk, BUT I felt like I needed to redraw them properly.

FUNNILY ENOUGH A PERSON I COMMISSIONED SAID I HAVE SOME REALLY CLEAN AND NICE LINEART. I wish I heard that 5 years ago when I was really insecure about my bad lineart skills xD, I don't use lineart anymore nowadays outside of reference-drawings like these I don't plan to redraw in the next years unless necessary soooo yeah! They're gonna appear much rarer unless I go off and about making more ref sheets of all of my Sonc OC's sfklsdgsdfksdg

This drawing took 5 days to make btw. Not the hours spent on this LOL. 5 days of my life I'll never get back tho bc I care too much about my babies and I feel they deserve proper refs sdfklsdglk

WHAT ELSE SHOULD I MENTION.....HOPEFULLY I PLAN TO DRAW MORE HUMAN REFS IN THE FUTURE INSTEAD OF STAY IN MY COMFORT ZONE OF SONIC OCS ONLY. I for years wasn't confident in my ability to draw humans, but I can do so NOW at least!!!!!!!!!! Even if I'm like...3 years too late to how I wish my art looked back then already dsklfdsg, I have some high standards I need to continue to knock down as my 2024 resolution sdfklsdg

^IT'S BEEN WORKING THOUGH AS YOU CAN TELL BC I'VE BEEN UPLOADING SOME BAD DOODLES AND SKETCHES, BEEN DRAWING MORE GARBAGE AND BECAME MORE INVOLVED IN MY BELOVED FANDOMS. I wanna continue doing so! It was the most fun I've had with art ever. I hope to properly meet more fandoms I left in the past bc I thought it'd be embarrassing to share my passion for a franchise back then. I EMBRACE THE CRINGE NOW AS AN ADULT AT LEAST EVEN IF 7 YEARS TOO LATE ON THAT FRONT TOO. We all age and mature ig but I just become more silly year by year,,, c:

Oh yeah if you also see this btw lemme know, whether the new watermark tiles are subtle enough to not be noticed!!!! I know, watermarks are annoying and nobody likes them, but ever since AI invasions, I REFUSE to put my work online without ANY form of proof that somebody took it from my page. I just want people to stop lying on the internet for cloud and pick up a pencil. It's not that hard smfh. The only time I could excuse AI art is w/ amputees man. That's the only time I could empathise with someone, who wants to be an artist but LITERALLY can't bc they got dealt a bad hand in life. I digress my AI hate can be rambled about some other day, I know I love yapping and writing essays about THAT topic for sure sfklsdklg

I chose to post this ref to my Tumblr first tho, bc I still wanna work on my drawing of Abbacchio,,,, he is quite dear to me and I'd love to put effort into a doodle of him that won't take too long. Like 4 hours or 5 hours tops. I still have yet to figure out, if his cute star shape on his head is a hat or part of his hair. Bc I CAN'T TELL TBH AND I'VE BEEN DRAWING IT AS PART OF HIS HAIR PATTERN BUT I THINK IT'S A HAT NOW EVER SINCE I LOOKED AT MORE ASBR CAPS OF HIM I TOOK FOR REFERENCES. xD

Also another side-note, but I've ofc reduced down the lankiness of the dudes I draw™, but I in result wanted to sliiightly make larger feet/hands bc my Sonic phase will continue to possess me 'til the end of time /hj, if you also wanna lemme know what you think on that, bls do! I am messing about with stylization still. I am finding my footing with stylizing humans sOOO yeah!!!! I hope to some day be satisfied with my artstyle change of '24! So far it's been really rewarding and eye-opening to me and my journey as an artist for my 7 years of existing on the 'net w/ my silly goobers I like to scream about to in the void <3

Once again, tagnado also incoming below bc I dunno how to properly tag my art so lemme throw in things I THINK are relevant to this post sdkldsgkl

See you hopefully tomorrow w/ a lil doodle dump if I get around to it!!!! : D

[literallyangelshaw]

I know I made a post about this last night but this is FRRR BUGGING MEEEE so I'm gon speak on it again because I fuckin can this is my blog the fuck 💀💀

LOOONGGG rant ahead guys b warned LMAO

Anyways, the mass amounts of internalised racism within fandoms created by Snow White's descendants is actually insane. Even crazier in this fandom bc let's be fr, it may be small but it is HELLA diverse in here, when it comes to actual ppl anyway...them ocs tho...

That anon last night (and many others bc yall LOVE to yap abt POC but nobody holds the cloudy crusaders accountable) nobody is saying anyone owes anyone rep, but it's also unfair to Erik to say that his writing is "slanted" by his white privilege. When he literally has tons of POC coded characters which is why the fandom mainly agrees that they r infact POC, confirmed or not that counts as a representation of our lived experience. And I cannot stress this enough, the characters and Erik are not the same. Yes he pours a little of himself in all of his characters I like to think, but a character is never truly a direct reflection of it's writer. Project all you want they're still not identical, meaning they 9 times outta 10 are gonna have a different life experience, background, beliefs, habits, ethnicity etc. Also meaning that there was probably research done on others' experiences, which yall obviously can't be bothered to do bc all ur ocs r either a cloud, whipped cream or fucking reflective. So if anyone's writing is tainted by privilege it's YALLS.

And imma use myself as an example bc I used to do this shit too, which is probably why it pisses me off so bad. Back a couple years ago when I originally found redacted, all my OCs were originally supposed to b white men....dramatic pause, however comma, with this thing called growth and accountability I learned that, that was in fact internalised racism AND sexism because I had lived my life wishing I could be exactly that. White. A cis man. I don't think yall get it, there was internalised. self. loathing. Fueled by the racism and sexism that I had been taught. And it is a choice you gotta make to open your fucking eyes and hold yourselves accountable bc this goes so much deeper than just yalls endless Taylor Swift clones.

POC rep even to this day is a fucking gem bro. And white ppl have been consistently catered to in real life AND in media. Stop bashing POC for a situation that has always been lose-lose. We're told to fuck off white creators and go make our own, and then we do and those creations and stories are ignored and disregarded or outright criticised for the lack of ass kissing to whites. Let's talk about the initial reaction to ATSV/ITSV. There were COUNTLESS white windbag brained bitches flocking to the internet to complain because there were "hardly any white ppl" and it was "too diverse." Do you see where I'm going with this? No? Lemme break it down

Yall are so accustomed to being catered to that you expect POC media to do the same, and when it doesn't you fucking condemn it. This is exactly why some POC don't WANT to make stories of their own because yall snow-snobs have your heads to far up your asses that you can't be bothered to step outside your comfort zone and maybe just take a peek at how a POC may feel on the daily. Which is why the few of yall that DO care and DO portray things similar or exactly like our lived experience, we color the FUCK OUTTA THEM BITCHES HELLO???

I don't think you guys understand how exhausting it is to have a voice that nobody cares to hear. And when we are heard, our words are twisted. Like in this exact case bro. Yall are bitching and moaning bc POC are actually using the voices that we had to FIGHT TO EVEN HAVE in the FIRST PLACE. And again yall are painting POC as the aggressors when we are literally just making observations. Headcanoning an entire cast as white blonde and blue eyed isn't fucking normal and the fact that yall are now riled up because people are speaking on it just proves your privilege. Because you will never have to fight for media to show your experiences and you'll never have to turn to people who don't care and beg them to amplify your voice.

Anyways enjoy this rant lmao, many more to come!! Not specifically about this but there r QUITE a few issues as of late 💀🙏

[radicheart-a]

Oh wait I almost missed Love Sunny Hours!

I personally have an issue with like 90% of characters, even outside this fandom, that are totally different from canon "without a purpose", normally because it just comes off as the writer wanting an OC but not wanting to put in the effort, so they write someone cosplaying a canon character. YOU HOWEVER have managed to make Cal feel both like Alastor and also your own creation. He's a bit softer, sure, and not nearly as cruel, but he has his moments of monstrosity and pure fury. He can be fucking scary when he wants to. Not to mention that on top of this, you're a wonderful writer who also can and does play a more canon-leaning version of Alastor??? Just the roleplay equivalent of deadlifting 300 pounds and then going "oh wait that wasn't the 600 pound weight???" Anyway keep up the good work man, you've got serious skill and I admire it immensely.

(( I 100% understand that frustration. I've seen it happen plenty of times myself. And good gravy I'm glad I don't fall into that category! I really DID want to stick to canon for the majority of his character and tailor him to suit me on a more personal level, or take parts of his canon character (why doesn't he like sweets?) and expound on them (maybe it's because he can't eat them; maybe he's allergic to sugar. ...can people BE allergic to sugar? *google search* yes they can!). As far as him being softer, he absolutely is - but in all fairness, most of his interactions are with people he's come to like and/or be in a romantic relationship with. He's naturally going to be softer with those people. Towards strangers and acquaintances, he can swing either way. If you piss him off, or trigger his twisted AF morals? He can absolutely be rude, or a monster. I should really try to get out of my comfort zone a bit and have him interact with more people he might not get along with.

BUT YES, I DO WRITE CANON-COMPLIANT ALASTOR TOO! Y'all can find him over at @tuneonin! And even though he's still fairly new I'm SO GLAD people like him so far! Especially you! You write some of the meanest nastiest characters I've come across, so hearing I'm doing a good job over there means a LOT coming from you!

Thank you for joining Love Sunny Hour!! I love you, too, not-so-random citizen! <3 ))

[annaizscribbling]

For 'Just Out Of Reach' do you find any inspiration from anything in real life, besides the actual Sanders Sides series itself? I'm just still amazed by how well everything flows and goes together!! :)

I do actually!

As I've mentioned, I really don't know much about horror, so Just Out of Reach is super out of my usual comfort zone. Idk what I'm doing but I am so delighted it flows together!!! A few things have influenced the fic!

Actually, my original inspiration was Wandavison! I loved the unsettling Wrongness, the disturbing fakeness, the scared protagonist knowing more than they let on, and the pretend happy family life! Though I think JOoR (terrible acronym but spelling Just Out of Reach gets old fast on mobile) has surpassed the terrifyingness of Wandavison. My original notes are actually labeled 'Wandavision Inspo'

An inspiration that came later on was the 'Don't Hug Me I'm scared' series! I didin't discover this until I was about half way through what I've got so far, but it definitely influenced how I decided to portray the gore and creepyness. I already had all the scenes mapped out, but it really helped me develop that extreme feeling in the later chapters.

Outside of that, I don't have much direct inspiration lmao. Again, not much horror experience here.

I guess my dreams are a source of inspiration. I'm kinda known for having extremely surreal, horrifying, disturbing, complex dreams where I sometimes feel confused and disoriented as everyone else tells me I'm normal, so I think I've drawn some inspo from that.

Also my own childhood! Also my own depression (oof)

Aaaaaand that's about it. The rest of it is just me sitting around for a week thinkin 'how can I make Patton even more traumatized??' and then acting on it. But with symbolism there too.

Patton is an underrated gem for angst and inner conflict and Depression™ and I am here to provide. He's not even mr favorite side. I just like giving him the depth he deserves in the fandom. I also really like father figure characters, so he's perfect. Even in Low Battery I randomly decided I needed to write an 8000 word chapter about Patton angst and parent-child relationship, because he deserves it :)

[void-rainbow]

(mentions of abuse) (but more about the after effects)

(still, um, inclusion of sexual trauma. and the topic of sexuality. and triggers)

Embarrassed sometimes by my own behavior.

Hate that sometimes getting trapped in my own....I don't know what to call it. Horrors.

Being in an environment in which I can 100% escape uncomfortable situations. Either by leaving/taking a break or telling people "hey I'm uncomfortable" and knowing that they're good and will respect me and we can change course. But no. Sometimes I don't do that. And I hate it. Hate having a reaction to things that disturb me and then going harder on them.

Maybe I'll just be writing something for myself and then my brain fills with horrors and I don't even realize. Leaking everywhere into everything. And I'll be like lol this is just ridiculous fun isn't it. Horror is fun. Messed up things can be interesting. And only realizing very late that I'm in a nightmare world of my own creation and deeply disturbed and it hurts and I'm just gonna laugh until it turns to screams of pain and fear and mourning

Or playing ttrpgs with friends and the chance to flirt to distract your enemies comes up and getting too into the rp of it and I've overdone it outside my comfort zone and absolutely no one is making me do this. And maybe no one notices because it's not like it's inappropriate behavior for the setting. But I notice and feel terrible like I can't control myself. And maybe when I bring it up with friend when we were gonna start wlw specific ttrpg she says I shouldn't play because it would be too uncomfortable for others to be around that and I should figure out sexuality elsewhere.

Where. Where. Don't feel fit to be around other people sometimes. My mind is full of nightmares and they'll escape.

Can only guess at why. Not for why the nightmares exist, but why they leak out so horribly.

Being in an environment for years where everyone around you supports an abuser. Even if they don't like him. Supporting "harmony". But harmony means doing whatever he says, because anything else makes him a sad hurt victim who I'm hurting by not complying with his wants, who everyone else has to rise and defend by chastising me for making him so sad and hurt. And learning that the safest place was to comply no matter how uncomfortable or hurting I was. Run to danger and inhabit it to try to be safe. Until everything gets tangled up and I can't tell the different between enjoyment, excitement, pain, discomfort.

Can only wonder if being around others might pull them into my nightmare world

Don't want to be alone. Want to be able to socialize and not have to avoid everything having to do with sexuality. Have gotten better on it, as far as more normal comfort and management of triggers. The other response of feeling endangered by any association of sexuality with me is way way down, though still there

And it's happened. Trying to socialize in fandom. All the nightmares escaping horribly. And I don't think anyone knows. I don't know if all the pain and discomfort I'm feeling is transferring to other people. Trying. Trying not to. Though it feels inevitable. Inevitable for something to come up and I won't realize what I'm doing and how I'm feeling. And maybe the times it's happened haven't hurt people I dunno but I'm still scared of it if too many nightmares escape

(one reason not to be in large Discord servers) (I guess) (I dunno I feel like some of my existence there is a mistake)

Wishing it was easier sometimes to just talk about trauma plainly. And then people would know. And maybe I could feel more normal. And maybe things wouldn't escape so uncontrolled because I would've done so in a purposeful controlled fashion. But that's often too much for people. Even if spoken of in a serious manner that's warned for and spoilered and all that >.>

Don't want to feel like a danger to others. Too difficult a past. Too many feelings

[misscrawfords]

17+32, Catherine and Henry (Northanger Abbey)?

War AU + Pregnancy fic

My anon, are you sure about this? Because this sounds hella angsty and if Catherine and Henry are anything, it's not angsty!

So I'm really sorry for completely ruining your desire for angst here.

*

Catherine goes to war in maternity leave.

Not literally, don't be ridiculous. She's an English teacher; what on earth would she be doing in a war zone? (She did once fancy herself a member of the Royal Navy but she had been 13 and mostly inspired by going on a high ropes adventure course on a school trip. The craze had not lasted.)

No, maternity leave is simultaneously boring and freeing. Since she started as a teacher, she's never had so much free time to just think. Henry's around some of the time, of course, but he has sermons to write and parishoners to see and tedious parish council meetings to chair. She flits in with cups of tea (waddles, really, at this point) and homemade cake that they at least pretend to like. (Sometimes she likes to give in to all the stereotypes of a vicar's wife. It makes her feel strangely cosy.) But when she isn't baking, she's at war.

At war on the internet. With the dog over her feet and a cup of tea at her side.

It started with a fun looking show on Netflix. Henry pointed it out to her one evening. "It's aimed at people who really loved Twilight when they were teengers and now lead depressingly generic lives in suburbia. People like you," he added pointedly.

Catherine narrowed her eyes and didn't let on that she'd already seen the trailer. "You're going to make fun of it."

"I mean... yes... obviously, but also, I really want to see whether the Dawn Angel gets together with the..." He squinted at the summary on his phone. "Immortal Night Demon or with her high school ex-boyfriend turned firefighter, Jordan. Golly, tough choice there, right? It's going to be compelling drama - breathtaking fight scenes, symbolic dark and light imagery, the epic highs and lows of high school football. You name it!"

They binged the whole thing in two days. Henry's next sermon, on the possibility of redemption even for demons and the devil himself, had been written in a fever dream by both of them at 2am after staying up far too late on Saturday arguing over the fate of the Night Demon and other related topics.

Old Mrs. Evans was heard to mutter sourly to her daughter Carys after the service, "That'll put the cat among the pigeons, that will alright. Too much Milton, not enough St Paul!"

"I always find Milton very inspiring!" Catherine replied bravely and loyally, as she helped them to a cup of tea in the church hall. She smiled at Carys, whom she'd taught Paradise Lost to at A Level a couple of years earlier. "St Paul too, of course," she added quickly, quailing under the mother's righteous glare. "Very inspiring."

But without marking or admin or driving to and from the high school in the large town half an hour away and without groups of teenagers to debate books with on a daily basis, Catherine found herself bored.

So she booted up her tumblr once again, abandoned since teaching had taken over her life and spending time with her wonderful, clever, funny, loving husband had seemed more interesting than scrolling aimlessly through social media, and discovered to her gleeful pleasure that fandom had not changed much and neither had she.

Or so she thought. Nowadays, she realises, everyone is moralising. The prevailing view seems to be that teenage girls in fandom aren't capable of distinguishing fact from fiction, that if they want a fictional heroine to rule hell with a sexy demon overlord at her side that must mean that that's what they want in real life. That the only moral thing to do here would be to marry the nice but boring guy who's been there for ever.

Catherine is an English teacher married to a vicar. If anyone knows anything about morality and fiction, it's her. This is all sounding very similar to the male critical outrage at women's novels in the 18th century. It seems nothing ever changes except that this time it's girls doing it to each other. Catherine writes several essays explaining all of this. She gets sent death threats and called an abuse apologist.

"It's so strange," she muses to Henry, as they eat homemade Thai curry in front of the aga.

"What is?" he replies. (She's told him everything, of course.) "The teenagers sending you anonymous death threats on tumblr? Because-"

"Nah, that's just standard for tumblr. I mean, it's so strange that anyone would want Griselda to be with Jordan. He's just so... normal and not in a good way. Just always going on about football and how great he was in high school. He really peaked then and he's a firefighter so that should make him brave but he never seems to actually do any fire fighting. He just talks about it as if we're meant to be impressed. We all know a Jordan and nobody wants to date him."

She'd know. Her first boyfriend had been a Jordan. They'd dated for five minutes. (Literally five minutes. Then she'd realised she'd been asked out and not to do a singing gig. Thorpy had been so subtle as to be unintelligible. Then she'd run for the hills, more disappointed in not having her vocal talents finally recognised than in being asked out by such a bore.)

"So a literal demon is a better bet?" Henry asks. "Just asking for clarification. Next year's Halloween costume depend on it."

"He's interesting and sexy and treats Griselda as an equal. What more do you want?"

"Well, speaking as a clergyman...." Henry begins with faux pomposity as he often does, his expression very fond.

She leaves him to do the washing up and lecture the dog. (She frequently hears him discussing doctrinal issues with the dog from the other room. It's adorable. She wonders if he'll be like this with the baby too. She can't wait.)

Back in her study, she boots the kitten off her chair and settles down for a long evening of defending a fictional relationship against antis, maybe reading a bit of a 52 chapter fanfiction where the Night Demon owns a tattoo parlour in New York City, and continuing to work a little on her new scheme of work for Year 9 when she eventually returns to work. It has the working title of "Sexy villains through history and why we should stan them".

She might need to edit that before she pitches it to her Head of Department.

There's a wonderful smell coming from downstairs: Henry is spontaneously baking apple cake. If she glances behind her computer monitor to the window, the graveyard looms dark and comforting in the autumn night, illuminated just by one of the outside lights on the old church. On a cushion by the bookcase, the kitten is lightly snoring and twitches in her sleep. She feels the baby shift slightly within her.

Shipping wars and the thrill of being so engaged in a fandom once more might fill a current space in her life, but goodness, she knows the difference between fact and fiction! Why would she want anything other than what she already has? Life is good.

[clotpole-art]

Retrospective: Illustrated Merlin Alphabet Challenge

Finally finished the Merlin Alphabet Challenge, so here's the artist notes no one asked for! See below the cut for comments on each piece by order of creation. Be warned folks, it's a long post.

Before we begin: credit to @merlin-gifs for the challenge, which can be found here. It's awesome, go do it.

First thing you should know is I did probably 80-90% of these while on phone calls or in Zoom meetings and that's reflected in the simplicity of most pieces -- the compositions aren't complicated, the lines aren't refined, the coloring is slapdash. If you noticed variation in quality of the pieces, that's why!

Second: I tried to focus on trying something new for each drawing. Didn't always happen, but this challenge did succeed in helping me push me out of my own comfort zone.

Without further ado...

A is for Arthur Pendragon

Textures, baby! Brushed metal of his armor, scratchy linen texture of his shirt, wispy softness of hair and skin. I'd recently gotten my tablet out of storage after a year of figuring out where the hell I was going to live and this was one of the first pieces of digital art I spent time on. Glad it was Arthur kicking us off!

B is for the Beginning of the End (1x08)

Fun fact, I did not draw this with my tablet. I drew it with my work computer's touchscreen. It was awful, would not recommend.

C is for Camelot

I wanted to get used to different brushes, so landscape of the castle it was! There are brushes that help with drawing grass; I did not use said brushes and my wrist hurt afterward. That being said, I really enjoyed working on this and it was one of the few pieces I didn't do while multitasking.

D is for Daegal

Also drawn on my work computer's touchscreen, not my tablet. I didn't learn my lesson from B and the experience was even worse. This is my least favorite piece which sucks because it's Daegal so I'm slated to redo this sometime in the near future. Gotta do our boy justice.

E is for Elyan

Oh, I adored drawing this. Elyan often gets shafted in terms of fandom appreciation so I made sure to choose Elyan for this prompt and to participate in the Elyan fest. Plus, I love a good ghost story and figuring out a way to include the druid spectre was fun. Didn't multitask on this piece because Elyan deserved my full attention.

F is for Freya

Ho boy. This piece. I have such mixed feelings on this drawing. Really really didn't like it after I'd decided it was done and very nearly scrapped the whole thing. I had a vision in my head that I just couldn't render into reality and it frustrated me SO MUCH. Looking back, I like it much better than I did when I first created it.

G is for Gwaine

What can I say, he's pretty when he's cold. I didn't stretch too much with this one -- it's my normal drawing style, I was just trying to find a brush that mimicked the softness of pencil.

H is for Hunith

Another one that didn't stray too far from my comfort zone. I was stupid sick and slammed at work, so a motherly Hunith manifested herself. I blame the bad brush choice on the cold medicine.

I is for Isolde

I woke up and chose violence! Tried to vary my figure drawing style a little in this piece but my brain resisted, resulting in... this. Not mad at it, but not happy with it either. Poor Isolde.

J is for Juggling

Ah, this lovely piece was drawn during a particularly vexing meeting at work. Fun fact, there's another version of this line art that's less about Merlin's stress and more about mine.

K is for Knights of Camelot

Continuing the theme of doodling through bad news and shit meetings. Like I said above, normally meeting doodles aren't complex because I'm concentrating on something else. This one was more involved because I didn't want to concentrate on the meeting. I have a few issues with this from a technical standpoint (perspective, my nemesis) but it's still one of my favorites. Tried some funky coloring technique, didn't hate it.

V is for Vibrant Colors

And here is where we said fuck the rules and started going out of alphabetical order! This one was really fun to do and I loved kicking off Albion Party with this as my first submission. The colors were a challenge (as I hoped they would be) and this is the first time I had to do some color tweaking midway though and after finishing the coloring process. Vibrant Arthur, my beloved. This started as a multitask doodle but took dedicated time to finish.

O is for Old Religion

The concept for this one was buzzing in my head for a bit before a quote-prompt solidified it. I adore the thought of more visible, tangible representations of Merlin as the son of the elements, of "magic itself" -- not just sun-gold eyes, but sea-water hair and sandstone-skin. A complement to the vibrant Arthur portrait.

S is for Sorcerers

When I said I wanted to challenge myself, I wasn't kidding. Ho boy, this was fun but frustrating. I wanted to completely illustrate a gif. So I did. Will I do something like this again? Maybe. A while from now.

M is for Morgause

See above -- same illustrated gif style so at least I was able to reuse some drawings. Poor Morgause ended up looking a little wretched here because I was mentally done with this when I was drawing her. Love the concept of tarot cards + Merlin but others are doing it so I won't continue this series.

Z is for Zzzz

This one was specifically done to test out some custom brushes I made in Krita to make abstract background drawing easier for me. I think they turned out well! Plus who doesn't love bb iridescent Aithusa.

L is for Leon, P is for Percival

Quick, minimal doodles of the boys! Mentally, I was going for a Brady's-style retro ensemble cast TV show credits feel. Not mad at it! Some boys look closer to their actors than others (I think my brain broke drawing Percy, my apologies to Tom Hopper).

T is for Tristan

It wasn't until after I posted this that I realized there was more than one Tristan in Merlin. Could have drawn Isolde's bf but I drew Ygraine's dumb jock undead brother instead. Had some fun with dark greys and blacks here regardless.

Q is for Queen Annis

Best royal in Albion, bar none. I tried a different coloring technique here and I kinda like it! may make it my go-to but we'll see. Old habits are hard to break. Also: our queen deserved more badass clothes.

X is for Arthur X Merlin

Oh, be still my shipper heart. Doodled and colored during a meeting. I had hoped to spend more time on it outside of multitasking but alas, work is a bitch. This one is slated for a rework sometime in the future; I adore the concept too much to let it go without creating another version of this that isn't an utter mess.

U is for Uther's Ward

And here's my attempt at forgoing line art. Not fun, do not like.

Y is for Young Warlock

Channeled some pain into this one. Those are the dead eyes of someone who had been told that he'd succeeded when his friend died. That the destiny he'd been expecting to carry on his shoulders into old age was done and dusted before he turned 30. Grief plus the existential dread of the aimless immortal. Oof. One of my favs.

N is for Nimueh, R is for Rising Sun, W is for Will

And we end on this sorry offering. I was away from home for a while without my tablet and I just got tired of waiting. So, pen doodles at the airport. This was a challenge in its own right because 1. pen only and 2. I wasn't able to pull Netflix up for a reference on the fly. Which is why Will's face is obscured and Nimueh looks.... not like Nimueh lol.

In summary: this was a goddamn joy to do. I finished 26 letter prompts in approximately 21 weeks, which exceeded my own unspoken goal of filling one letter per week. I found a good, happy corner of the Merlin fandom after a years-long hiatus away from being a fandom creator. If you did make it this far with me, thanks for reading my inane comments and giving this little project even a moment of your time -- I'm so grateful.

[novelist-becca]

Not Fragile

Fandom: The Owl House

Rating: Gen

Relationships: Eda Clawthorne & Luz Noceda

Summary: “But don’t you still think I’m too weak and fragile to be a real witch?”

“Wha- no, of course not, Luz. What gave you that idea?”

AO3 link

FFN link

“Hey.”

Luz looked up from her phone to see Eda standing in the doorway. She held Luz’s Grom crown in her hand and a concerned look on her face. 

“Hey…” was Luz’s only reply. Even after that amazing dance, even though it was over, the last thing she wanted was Eda’s criticism or even pity. But she closed the window and scooted over to give her some room anyway.

Eda placed the crown on top of the chest. “Had to get it off of King while he was asleep. ...And him off me.” She said with a chuckle. “Anyway, thought you might wanna talk about what uh, happened?” added Eda as she sat on the windowsill beside Luz. It may be outside her comfort zone, but Eda disliked seeing her apprentice this...down.

Luz’s shoulders tensed and she looked away from her mentor. “I know, I know, you told me so.” She grumbled. “I know I was stupid, okay?” Luz clenched her fists. 

Eda was taken aback. Was she really that hurt by her statement that afternoon? “What? No, no, that’s not why I’m here at all.” She tried to reassure her. But Luz still looked glum. “I wanted to say that I’m proud of you after tonight. You and that Blight kid did amazing.” Luz only relaxed slightly. “I know I said it before, but you did good.” Eda concluded with a slight smile.

Finally, the girl unclenched her fists and sat up straight. She inhaled. “Thanks.” She said. Then she looked at Eda. “But don’t you still think I’m too weak and fragile to be a real witch?” Honestly, Luz appreciated the praise, but it still didn’t feel like Eda believed in her. But the older witch looked surprised and shook her head.

“Wha- no, of course not, Luz. What gave you that idea?” Eda asked. Yes, she called Luz fragile earlier, but she didn’t mean it like Luz was weak. In fact, she has so much potential as a witch, despite being a human!

Luz gave her an incredulous look. “You said I was fragile. I didn’t just fight Grom because I didn’t want Amity to get hurt, I wanted to prove you wrong. I thought I could, but I guess I messed that up too.” She finished with a sigh and looked away and said under her breath, “Just like I mess up everything else…”

“Luz…”

“That giant illusion of you that was outside when I was training? It said I was inadequate. I know it wasn’t real, but maybe it was right.” Luz slumped in her seat, avoiding Eda’s eyes once again. Her expression didn’t change. “And I still proved you right, didn’t I? I went overboard again, and you almost had to save me. I’m sorry.” Luz remembered the embarrassment she felt when she ran from her worst fear...like a coward. Everyone on the Boiling Isles thinks humans are weak, and she just proved their point. 

For a moment, Eda didn’t say anything. So, one of Luz’s fears was...disappointing her? Not being good enough? Well, as much as it hurt, Eda couldn’t really blame the kid for thinking like that. But it’s not as if she didn’t believe in her.

“Luz,” Eda began. “I…I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t think you’re weak, or inadequate, or stupid, or anything like that! I just…” She put a hand on Luz’s shoulder. “I didn’t want you to get hurt by running headfirst into danger again. I’m sorry that I made you think that.”

Luz met her mentor’s eyes again. “I still ran, though. Like a coward.” 

“You’re not a coward, Luz, you never were.” Eda sighed. “Look...King was right. I was too hard on you. Clearly I was wrong. You’re talking as if you didn’t defeat Grom, but you did. Look- look at it this way! You could defeat Grom, you just needed a push from a certain someone.”

Luz thought about that. She’s not wrong. She defeated Grom with Amity, and in the coolest way, too! “Yeah, guess you’re right.” She said with a fond smile. A part of her wonders how Amity is handling things.

“You see?” Eda said with a smile. “I’m so sorry I ever doubted you, Luz. Now, you didn’t disappoint me. In fact…” She kneeled down in front of Luz and put both hands on her shoulders. “You made me proud. So don’t beat yourself up just because you couldn’t face your fear on your own. You of all people should know it’s okay to have help.”

Luz responded by smiling and putting a hand on one of Eda’s. She was right. True, she wasn't ready to fight Grom, but she had help in the end. It doesn't make her weak. She knows that.

“And…you’re not that fragile, okay? I remember how you saved me and King from multiple monsters. I just wish you didn't face this one. You’re brave, and I respect that.” Eda admitted.

“Thanks Eda.” 

“But don't take this as an excuse to keep running into danger, okay?” Eda added. She swears this kid’s gonna be the death of her. 

“Hah, no promises…” Luz muttered. 

“And don't think you'll never be a real witch. You…you have a lot of potential.” Added Eda. 

With that, Luz wrapped her arms around the witch in another one of her tight hugs. As usual, it surprised her, but she awkwardly patted her head.

“Thank you, Eda…I needed to hear that.” The girl mumbled into her mentor’s suit.

“Eh, don't mention it.” Eda said. And as they pulled apart, she hesitantly asked, “Do I want to know what you saw back there?” After that mushy heart-to-heart, maybe it would help Luz to talk about it?

Luz looked to the side, thinking. “Mmm…” Eda had reassured her that she's not weak for not facing her worst fear, but she was afraid of what Eda might think if she said it was her mother she was running from. 

No, Luz thought. Didn't you just face her earlier by actually texting her? If you can get over that, you can talk to Eda. You can trust her. 

“It's okay if you don't want to right now, I'm sure it's--”

“It was my mom.” Luz admitted. 

Eda took her spot next to Luz again, ready to listen. “Your…mom?” A part of her worried that Luz’s mother couldn’t be a good person if she's her kid’s worst fear. 

“Okay- well, technically, I don't fear her, just…her finding out I'm not in the human realm.” Luz said, trying to find the right words. God, when she thought about it, Grom is like a form of messed up therapy. Like that one show back home about a magic train. But at least Grom doesn't force you to stay aboard if you don't prove you're ready. 

Is that why Principal Bump made it a school event? Therapy? Luz put that thought aside for later.

“Well…you say she doesn't know you're here. Where does she think you are?” Eda encouraged. 

Luz continued. “Remember the first day I came here, when I said 'I'm not going to summer camp?’”

“Yeah?” 

“So…my mom wanted me to go to this summer camp to uh, help me separate fantasy from reality. I took something too far at home, and I think it was her way of trying to make me ‘normal’.” Luz said, rolling her eyes making quotation signs with her fingers. 

“Heh. Sounds a looot like the conformitorium.” Added the older witch. 

Dammit, Eda, not helping. She knew Luz was weird, Hell, Eda was weird too, but it doesn't make sense to send her away. Even if Eda was more than happy to have Luz here. 

“It does. But I know she was doing it for my own good. I think she just wanted me to have real friends. I just don't wanna know what she’ll think if she finds out I'm lying to her.” Luz thought back to the texts she sent to her mom. Technically she wasn't lying when she said she liked it here and the longer text she sent before Eda came in, but still… “If she knows I kept a secret from her, who knows what she'll think of me? Of this place?”

Eda thought for a moment. She never asked about Luz’s personal life before, but now that she knows a little bit, it feels like a piece of a puzzle fell into place. 

“…I may not know her, but I don't think she'll hate you for not telling the truth. I know I wouldn't.” Eda said. 

“You mean it?” 

“‘Course I do. I meant everything else, too. Don't doubt that.” She said reassuringly. Luz responded with another awkward hug, and the events of tonight must've finally caught up to her because the kid’s eyes were starting to droop when she pulled away. 

“Alright, how about we both settle in for the night, kiddo? You look tired.” Eda pointed out. 

Luz yawned and nodded. “Mmh. Good idea.” 

Eda stood up and headed for the door, but not before saying, “And Luz, if you ever need to talk, about anything…I'm here. I'm no good at this kind of stuff, but I wanna help.” 

“Thanks, Eda. For everything.” Luz answered with her usual genuine smile. And with that, Eda left and closed the door behind her. 

Luz has no idea how much she means to her and King, but Eda will make sure to let her know.

[holylulusworld]

Danger Zone

Summary: Both brothers want you - a pleasant dream, isn’t it?

Pairing: Sam x Reader, Dean x Reader

Warnings: angst, language, smut, unprotected sex, voyeurism, dom!Sam, light degrading, mentions of plan b, comforting, a hint of choking (not really), plot twist

A/N: That’s the end of the story. Read Part 1 & Part 2 first.

Divider by @writeyourmindaway​ <3

Over the last days, Dean and you walk around the bunker as if you are walking on eggshells. Whilst Sam tries to bond with you again, Dean tries to stay as far away from you as possible.

Just like now. Sam offered to prepare breakfast to break the tension, but Dean just grabbed a slice of toast and almost ran out of the kitchen.

“I should be the one acting strange,” Sam huffs, watching you poke the food with a fork, not eating. “Maybe we should talk to Dean again. He was a demon and…”

“It’s not just that, Sam,” you sigh, meeting your boyfriend's gaze. “I think he’s disappointed as I took plan B. I heard him mumbling something like ‘not worth being her baby’s father’. Do you think he hates me?”

“Y/N, the last days were not a sexual adventure you wanted on free terms. Even though you enjoyed it,” clearing his throat Sam plays with the veggies on his plate, “the demon forced you to a certain point.”

“I can’t be mad at Dean,” while you play with your food Sam grasps for your hand, squeezing it tightly. “It’s not as if I never imagined having sex with your brother. I am an awful girlfriend, Sam. How can I have dirty fantasies about your brother?”

“Baby girl, come here,” Sam rounds the kitchen island to bring you in his arms. He is just holding you, not caring you wet his shirt with your tears or that you press your body desperately to his warm chest. “I love you, okay. No matter what you will decide, I’ll always love you.”

“I love you too but,” sniffling you look up at Sam, giving him a sad smile, “I can’t help myself when I am close to your brother. I don’t know if it’s love or lust. I am confused…”

Sam’s large hand curls around your throat, letting your heart race. You feared Sam will never touch you again, give you what you need, but he’s determined to show you that even though his brother touched you, you are his girl.

“Look at you, baby girl,” Sam purrs behind you, a smirk on his lips feeling you swallow thickly. “So needy, so ready to get me inside this tight little cunt.”

“Sam, please," desperate to feel Sam you push back onto him, rubbing your slick cunt against his throbbing length. “Baby…”

“No begging, Y/N. You know the rules,” you whine, still, you shut your mouth, waiting for Sam to fill you. “My girl needs a thick Winchester cock to fuck the neediness out of her.”

No one would ever assume Sam is a dirty talker or a kinky bastard in the bedroom. He is always soft and caring around others but here he is, enjoying the fact he has you at his mercy, all strung out.

“Please,” you beg again, earning a slap to your ass. “I need you,” Sam slides his length through your folds, holding back the need to just fill you. “I want you…”

“Do you want me?” He husks against your ear, squeezing your throat a little, just to make you feel he is in control. “Is that what you want. Exchanging one brother for the other again?”

When he slips the blunt head inside you fall back against his chest, pressing the back of your head into his shoulder. “Good girl, such a good girl,” his cock splits you open, filling you perfect to bring tears to your eyes.

“So good,” you whimper, writhing on his length whilst Sam holds you to his body, not moving an inch. “Sam, please. I’ll be good.”

“You will,” Sam purrs into your ear, nibbling at your ear shell. “I know you’ll always be my good girl. Now,” the first thrust makes you cry out. Sex with Sam always teeters on the edge of pain, the good kind of pain. “Just relax, Y/N.”

“I want to feel you, Sam,” you are flat on your belly seconds later, Sam doesn’t give you time to take a breath before he’s back inside of you, not caring you will feel him for days. “Please.”

Dean is pacing around the hallway. Moments ago, he wanted to talk to his brother and you, now he must listen to your moans whilst his brother calls you his girl.

“His girl, never mine,” mumbling the words Dean presses his head against the door, even though the noises you make for the wrong brother let his heart clench in his chest. “Never mine…”

“Sam,” your body jolts toward the headboard with every powerful snap of his hips.

Sam is wild tonight, like an alpha ready to mark his territory again. “Take me, baby girl. All of me is yours. Can you feel me in your belly?”

You would answer Sam but the way he holds your hips in a tight grip, his cock slamming into you and the fact you heard Dean call your name outside the room presses nothing but cries and moans out of you.

“Yeah, I think you will come for me. Maybe we invite Dean to watch and use this tight pussy too,” you can hear the anger in Sam’s voice but he calls for his brother before you can answer. “Come inside and watch her getting fucked, Dean.”

“Sam,” you fist the sheets, try anything to keep the approaching high at bay. “I want to cum,” Sam hums watching his brother walk into the room. “There he is baby girl. Now ask Dean to let you cum.”

“Please, D’, I need to cum,” tears run down your cheeks. Your body craves the toe-curling and earth-shattering release, but the elder brother looks at Sam, a smirk on his lips. “Please?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart. Did you earn it? Did you tell Sammy you’re sorry for fucking his big brother?” you nod eagerly, giving Dean your sweetest pout, the one he cannot resist. “I think she deserves to cum, Sammy.”

“You heard Dean,” another thrust and another dirty word leaving the brother's lips and you are a goner. You shiver feeling Dean fist your hair roughly while his brother still pumps into you as if he wants to break you tonight.

“I-uh, god,” you look at Dean, never breaking-eye contact whilst his brother pushes you over the edge. Dean steals the silent scream with his lips, smirking as he can see Sam slip out of you to cum all over your ass.

“If you go in bare, pull out. We don’t need little Winchesters yet,” Sam smirks, slapping your ass before he leaves the bed. “She’s all yours, brother.”

“My pleasure,” Dean grins, while you cannot process your boyfriend just offered you to his brother, the demon he wanted to kill not days ago. “I’ll be gentle, sweetheart. Just fuck the neediness out of you.”

Dean crawls onto the bed, growling your name and your world turns upside down when your boyfriend sits on the bed to watch his brother slide home in one go.

“That’s our girl, look at her, Dean,” Sam praises a soft smile on his lips. You nod eagerly, feeling lightheaded. Your vision becomes blurry and before you can bring out a word you lose consciousness.

“Y/N? Y/N?” Celeste pats your cheek. “It’s normal to pass out before a wedding.”

Looking up at your friend with wide and fearful eyes you swallow the lump in your throat, remembering the man who waits at the altar, the man you chose over the brothers years ago.

“I…I don’t feel good,” you get up to run toward the exit of the church, panting heavily as the door flings open and two men enter the church. “Sam? Dean?”

“We didn’t want to miss the wedding,” Dean stammers, not meeting your eyes. “I know we never talked after Sam came to the motel room, but I thought.”

“I…I mean we decided we should at least say ‘hi’ and congratulations,” Sam clears his throat, hiding the aching in his heart.

It has been two years since that night, the night Sam freed you. You ran, and never looked back, but here and now you look over your shoulder at a man you barely know waiting for you to become his wife. “I…I need to get away from here, boys. Do you know a place to be?”

“Sammy, I think we are stealing the bride,” Dean grins watching his brother pick you up to throw you over his shoulder.

“Sorry, but we are on ‘stealing the bride duty’, dude. I mean, enjoy the cake and all. I don’t think she’ll be back anytime soon,” you squeal when Sam starts to run after his brother.

“We will never let you go again, baby girl. You’re ours,” Sam pants, looking over his shoulder as your fiancé decided to chase after the brothers.

“Well, hurry up and we can talk about anything else later. I got a few bags hidden in a motel room outside of town,” giving you a wink Dean grins at your words.

“I suggest we get out of the danger zone first…”

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[mekana47]

Fanfic Ask Game

Thank you to the lovely @catholicnicky for tagging me in another delightful fanfic ask game.

With absolutely no pressure, I’ll tag @beepbeepsan @rupzydaisy @thatpratdragonlady and anyone else who wants to play

How many works do you have on AO3? 14

How many fandoms have you written for (and what are they)? On AO3, I have 12 works for The Old Guard (with one 2019 Aladdin crossover), 1 for MCU/Agents of Shield, and 1 for All for the Game.

But I probably also have 20-ish fics on an old Livejournal that I never cross-posted when I finally got an AO3 invite, and another even older 20-ish fics on a ff.net account, which would add quite a few more fandoms-- though they’re mostly The Losers and X:Men: Evolution, respectively.

Are there any new fandoms you want to write for? I’m still having fun with The Old Guard, but I do have an outline for a James Bond fic taking up far too much of my daydreams and a Tenet PWP I want to polish and post eventually.

What are your top five fics by kudos? Hold Tight (TOG Mission Fic) Scene by Scene (TOG Modern AU, WIP) Planning Makes Perfect (TOG Mission Fic, Outside POV) Rapid Boiling (TOG A/B/O Mission Fic) I’ll Chase Them Anywhere (TOG x Aladdin)

Which of your fics do you want more attention for? I know comments and kudos depend on a wide variety of factors, so I don’t take it personally when one thing isn’t as popular as something else, and solo movie fandoms lose momentum so abruptly. So… maybe my newest fic then? Fixing the Stars (TOG Mission Fic in Space).

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I try to respond, but I am inconsistent and very, very slow at it. I like seeing what stands out to readers, and sometimes answering the questions makes me look at my own stories in new ways. Also, leaving comments on other people’s fics is one of my favorite things to do.

What sorts of things do you normally write? By that list above, apparently, I write a lot of Mission Fic. I genuinely hadn’t realized. I also do hurt/comfort or more precisely ‘someone is trying to hurt me but I will endure/they don’t know this is part of my plan.’ I also love team-as-family, particularly ‘I don’t/didn’t know how much the team cares about me.’

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? None of my AO3 fics have an angsty ending. One Minute More might come the closest in that it’s hurt with little comfort because it was left open for a sequel that never came together. But for what the fic is about (Canon Divergence, Sexual Assault) it’s really not an angsty or even ambiguous ending at all.

What’s a fic that pushed you out of your comfort zone? Definitely all of them in different ways. There’s always that last moment second-guessing before I post, and then I avoid reading comments for the first while. If I have to pick one… Doing the outside POV for Planning Makes Perfect was certainly a fun challenge, and I’m constantly shocked at its reception.

Do you write crossovers?  What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Yes, but rarely and none of them seem that crazy really. My only crossover on AO3 is The Old Guard x Aladdin (2019), but pre-AO3 I did an NCIS x White Collar and a Leverage x Burn Notice. I also have an old The Losers x The Expendables draft I never finished.

Have you ever had a fic translated? No.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, although it was a Round Robin with four other people, so we had no influence or input on anyone else’s chapter.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I live in eternal hope that I will finish all of them, although some of my drafts are from fandoms I’ve hardly thought about in a very long time, so I’m almost certainly lying to myself.

What are you currently working on? I’m constantly working on editing the next chapter of Scene by Scene.

I was so focused on finishing my chapters for the Round Robin and then my gift for the Andromaquynh Secret Santa that I haven’t picked up any other one-shot in quite a while. Perhaps it’s time to finish poisoning Booker?

What are your writing strengths? This is a tough one. I get a lot of comments about how I write relationships: romantic, familial, and teammates. I like writing dialogue, and I can be funny when I’m not trying to force it.

As far as my writing practice, I type fast and make very rough first drafts, and then if I can make it to the end, I can make it make sense in the editing/rewriting. I do ruminate on fics for a while after the first draft, so I can make sure the motivations make perfect sense and characters’ actions follow from there. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?  Most recent? Gone in 60 Seconds. I posted a prologue for a sequel to the movie on ff.net and then immediately abandoned it to play with the X-Men. I would’ve been 13, I think?

Most recent is clearly The Old Guard.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? This is an impossible question. Name any of my fics, and I can tell you why it’s my favorite.

(And if I absolutely had to answer, I’d pick a fic about The Losers comic-verse I wrote when writing fics in the style of Richard Siken was a trend. But it isn’t on AO3, so that isn’t a fair pick— although… maybe it should be there?)

What fic are you most proud of? Again, name any of my fics, and I can explain why I’m proud of it.

The first that came to mind this time was I’ll Chase Them Anywhere (the TOG x Aladdin crossover) because it was a kinkmeme prompt with a general concept and a few specific moments. I was stuck on an ending for quite a while until I realized I needed to figure out why these events were happening and make the backstory make sense before I could figure out how things changed by the end. I’m happy with the explanations and motivations I landed on.

[ninthfeather]

Fanfic Review

Thanks for tagging me, @sapphireswimming!

How many works do you have on ao3?

80! There are a few older works on FFN that I haven’t ported over yet, but most of my fic and certainly everything written in the past few years is on AO3.

What’s your total ao3 word count?

506,547, and I’m not sure if I’m proud or not.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I’ve written fics for a total of 31 different fandoms, which seems like a lot. But I’ve written more, longer fics for some than I have for others. In general:

Several fics/longer fics: Gundam 00, Detective Conan/Magic Kaito, Fullmetal Alchemist, My Hero Academia, M*A*S*H, Jibaku Shonen Hanako-kun, MCU, Persona, Sherlock, The World Ends With You, Critical Role, Arknights, FFXV, The Untamed, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, Code Geass, Kingdom Hearts, 

Only short oneshots so far: VLD, Yoru no Kagi, Christopher Nolan’s Batman, Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, Sarashinohara, Kanata Kara, So I’m a Spider So What, Fruits Basket, Danny Phantom, The Magnus Archives, Harry Potter, The Umbrella Academy, Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Are there any new fandoms you want to write for?

So my current main project is a Genshin Impact longfic, but I’ve also got WIPs for Jujutsu Kaisen and Neon Genesis Evangelion.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Down Time [BnHA oneshot]

aim to repaint these days [The Untamed oneshot]

Adjustment [DCMK oneshot]

We’ll walk upon these streets (and think of little else) [KH/MCU crossover chapterfic, I’m listed as co-author but @hawk-in-a-tree is doing most of the writing now]

Steeplechase [DCMK chapterfic]

It always surprises me how much better oneshots do than chapterfics when it comes to kudos. Also, the fact that a fic from this year (the one for The Untamed) passed several fics that have been online for years really speaks to the power of big fandoms.

Which of your fics do you want more attention for?

So, in general the fics that get the most attention for me are more governed by the size of the respective fandoms than by how good the fics themselves are. Fics for Gundam 00 just don’t as much attention as fics for BnHA because less people are in the fandom. So, like, I’d love more people to read my Gundam 00 and Arknights fics, but really what that means is that I want more people in those fandoms.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to but I get overwhelmed really easily and like everyone else I’ve had a lot going on this year, so if I didn’t respond to your comment, please know that I did read it and appreciate it.

What sorts of things do you normally write?

I write a lot of crossovers, a lot of outsider POV fics, a lot of found family stuff, and a lot of hurt/comfort, especially emotional hurt/comfort. Recently I’ve been leaning more heavily into writing fics about disability as well.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

So despite generally preferring “angst with a hopeful ending,” I’ve written a surprising number of downer fics. In terms of what happens in the ending, the angstiest ending is in “drink in all of this apocalyptism,” the PMMM/Umbrella Academy crossover fic I wrote. You’re probably not gonna be shocked to hear that it involves an apocalypse. In terms of the ending that is written as being the most bleak, I’d say it’s a toss-up between “I’ll Call You Tomorrow” and “to somehow escape the burning weight.”

What's a fic that pushed you out of your comfort zone?

Speaking of “to somehow escape the burning weight,” I was not comfortable writing even the implication of two characters sleeping together. Unfortunately, while I am very, very ace, the characters are not and it became clear that if I wanted to write them interacting at their respective points in their character arcs, they were going to want to make bad decisions together. I had to figure out how to structure the fic so that I didn’t feel out of my depth but the characters were still in character and still had the interaction I wanted.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I write a lot of crossovers! I’m not sure what the craziest one I’ve written is, to be honest, but I think the FMA/M*A*S*H fic, “A Recurring Nightmare with Popcorn,” wins if for no other reason than because I committed to that crossover.  Most of my other odd crossovers are oneshots, but RNwP is long enough to be a short novel.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Surprisingly, it’s “the memories you want to forget are hostages,” which isn’t all that popular in English! It’s on Ficbook in Russian here.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Several times! As mentioned above, @hawk-in-a-tree and I worked on These Streets together, though I kinda stepped back and let her take control on later chapters. There are also a few other fics we’ve collaborated on that aren’t ready for publication yet.

It’s been a while, but my friend miladyRanger also co-wrote fic with me often. We have four fics (one for FMA and three for DCMK) posted over on FFN under the penname miladyFeather.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have a BnHA WIP that needed major revisions after the Dabi backstory reveal; I don’t know if I’ll finish it or not but if I do it will probably take a while.

What are you currently working on?

Like I said above, I have a WIP longfic for Genshin Impact that I’m really excited about. It’s not done yet but it’s already pretty long, so I’m hoping I can make it through that final stretch.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m pretty good at writing interesting, relatively natural-sounding dialogue, foreshadowing, and establishing tone.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I’m crap at remembering continuity—not just of canon works I’m writing fic for, but also within my own longer works. Avoiding cliches and remembering to describe the setting are both areas I’d like to improve in. Also I have a bad habit of leaving fics unfinished.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Most recent?

The very first fic I wrote was a xxxholic crackfic; the most recent fic I published was for Persona 3.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

It’s hard to say? I love several fics for different reasons. I think “Riddle in Reverse” and “I love it when a plan comes together” would definitely be on the short list, though, because they were fun to write and they’re fun to reread.

What fic are you most proud of?

If I’m being honest, I’m probably proudest overall of “Riddle in Reverse”—it’s a solid fic, it got much more popular than I expected, and I love getting reviews from people who are a mixture of happy and angry about the twist.

Tagging: @sleepdeprivedfemale, @kaedahara--kazuha, and anyone else who’d like to do this!

[fandom-necromancer]

Ghosts of the past

This was prompted by an awesome anon! Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed1700 (Warnings: implied past abuse, manipulation, mentioned forced drug intake, drug abuse)

[Part2]

‘I don’t feel too good about this…’ ‘Me neither, but I can’t think of any other way, unfortunately…’ Nines swallowed, looking Connor in the eyes. It was hard to look into these eyes when he normally was the one telling Nines to forget about the mission for a while. Whenever Nines sunk a little too far into his comfort zone of code and orders, Connor was there to remind him he didn’t had to follow it. He was allowed to indulge in his emotions and listen to his wants. Now that their roles had changed it really made him think about how compromised he really was with this particular case.

‘Nines, we need that confession. You know that.’ ‘I know Connor!’, the android yelled with frustration. ‘I know, but I’m not sacrificing Gavin’s mental state, health or career, just because some criminal decides to play with us!’ Connor sighed. ‘Do you think I want that? Nines, he matters to me as much as to you, I’d rather die myself than see him hurt. I’m just saying we should ask him and not decide for him just because that makes us more comfortable.’ Nines sighed, nodding. ‘His sense of duty will make him say yes.’ ‘Maybe, but it will be his decision. He’s a grown man and we will be there for him should anything happen. Come on.’

Gavin immediately shit was about to go down as both androids exited the interrogation room heading his direction. Both their LED’s were yellow bordering to red and knowing just who sat behind that door, Gavin knew exactly what must have happened. Still, he tried to look optimistic: ‘And? What did you find out?’ Nines looked aside, arms crossed over his chest, while Connor put up a fake grin that should be calming. So they both were disagreeing about their way of action. Gavin wouldn’t dare saying he knew what was going on in their heads most of the time, but he could read their emotional state like nobody else. ‘Not much’, Connor answered him. ‘He refuses to speak with anyone but you.’

Gavin swallowed and lowered his head. ‘Well phck’, he cursed, accepting his fate. ‘Guess I’ll go talk to the asshole then.’ ‘You don’t have to’, Nines immediately stated, taking a step forwards when Gavin stood up. ‘You don’t have to talk to him.’ ‘Nines, I have to if we want to get a confession, right?’ ‘He didn’t say anything about confessing’, Connor corrected. ‘Just that he doesn’t want to talk to anyone but you.’ ‘Yeah, well, that’s basically the same thing, isn’t it?’, Gavin huffed determined. ‘It’s been years, I think I can talk to the asshole if it means I won’t see him for a long time, because he’s locked up. I’ll manage.’ ‘We’re right in the next room observing’, Nines tried to reassure him, knowing arguments wouldn’t help. ‘Then I’ll try to give you two a show, huh?’, Gavin joked and took the lead towards the interrogation room.

He heard the others following him and tried to keep his composure for as long as they saw him. He knew they worried about him. Hell, Gavin worried about himself. It had been a long time since he had last seen David Smith and he wouldn’t have complained if more years had been added to that. And his confidence in his ability to keep calm and professional around him was fragile at best. But they needed that confession and Gavin would get it. No matter the cost.

He took a deep breath before opening the door and entering the room. He didn’t spare the man sitting across the table any mind, sat down and slammed the file on the table in front of him. ‘Your name is David Smith, is that correct?’ He stared strictly on the papers in front of him. ‘Yes.’ Oh that phcking voice. That goddamn soft voice that reminded him of all the times this stupid phck had him wrapped around his finger. If he could, he would have thrown up already, but as it was, he kept up his neutral façade. ‘State your age and occupation.’ ‘Thirty-nine. Freelancing salesman.’ Gavin could hear the asshole’s sly grin in his words and narrowed his eyes. ‘Come on, Gav. Why so stuck-up? Not happy about seeing your man?’ ‘You will address me as Detective Reed, Mr. Smith’, Gavin commented sharply. ‘And I’d appreciate you staying on topic. Does “freelancing salesman” include the producing and selling of illegal substances by any chance? We found copious amounts of drugs, mostly Red Ice and cocaine in your flat. Additionally, there have been accounts of eyewitnesses depicting you handing over those substances to others. The evidence clearly speaks against you, but a confession might increase your chance at a decreased sentence.’

‘You’re still as beautiful as I remember you.’ Gavin felt himself shudder but ignored the goose bumps in his back. ‘Mr. Smith, I doubt you understand the situation you are in.’ ‘Hmm… all professional, aren’t we, Gav? I remember I could get you to be pretty unprofessional in a matter of seconds.’ Gavin couldn’t help but look up. It had been a mistake, as the man’s grin widened, and those eyes captured him once again. ‘Ah… So you remember too.’

Gavin sighed and closed the file. ‘Why the phck did you refuse to speak with my partners? David, we’re over and done with. The years with you were some of my worst and there is no way I will ever want that back.’ The man smirked at him. ‘So they are your partners? I thought so, they’re your type. Tall and strong enough to put you in your place…’ Gavin ground his teeth and stared at David with eyes that could kill. ‘Are you selling drugs again? Who are your suppliers? Who do you keep around to test your phcking new creations on?’ ‘Come on, babe, you were more than just that for me.’ ‘I asked you a question asshole. You said you’d talk to me. I’ve yet to hear a single word that’s worth the air.’

David leaned back and grinned. ‘Oh, please Gavin. You pretend to be so high and mighty. You can’t put me behind bars. In fact, I know I will be walking free in a matter of hours.’ ‘And why should that be?’, Gavin asked. ‘Charlotte 2.0.’

Gavin’s eyes widened and he had to hide his hands beneath the table because they were shaking too much. In one quick motion, he took the file and left the room. Only to sink against the closed door as his knees gave in. Not much later Nines and Connor came running to his side. ‘Gavin! Are you alright? What the hell happened in there?’, Connor asked, obviously scanning his vitals. ‘Who… What is Charlotte 2.0?’, Nines asked. Gavin concentrated on breathing first, speaking second. ‘We have to let him go’, he whispered desperately. ‘We have to.’ ‘What? Why?’

Gavin stood up and walked away from the door. ‘Charlotte was an android. Non-deviant. His fail-safe. Remember how I never wanted to tell you how I got out of that relationship? I killed her. Killed her and ran, moved and stopped talking to anyone I knew. Deleted all accounts and made new ones.’ ‘You did what?’, Nines asked. ‘Yeah, she was just a machine, okay? It was the only way out. I… David is anything if not prepared. Charlotte had the single task to gather as much information as she could. That means he can notify any gang, any lab, drug den or dealer in the city they have been compromised. With a single word from him, she can make every current operation in narcotics null and void with everyone alarmed.’ ‘Then why did you kill her?’, Connor asked. ‘Because she also keeps tabs open on everyone dear to the people he wants to keep in line. I’m not an idiot, I realised what I had fallen into a week after we first met. But I could only run years later because she was dead and couldn’t hold my family and friends at gunpoint in secret.’

Connor and Nines stared at each other. ‘So we need to find the android he uses this time.’ Gavin shook his head. ‘I doubt he will be dumb enough to make the same mistake twice. I’d guess Charlotte 2.0 is a program ready to unleash all the gathered information if something goes wrong.’ ‘Then what do we do? Search his apartment again?’ ‘Would be a good start.’

Less then twenty minutes later, Gavin, Nines and Connor sat in a car driving towards David’s apartment. ‘You did good in there’, RK900 suddenly broke the silence. ‘I worried for you.’ ‘We both did’, Connor added. ‘But it’s good you decided to go.’ ‘I just want to end this shit’, Gavin sighed. ‘I don’t want to think back to it, and I’ll sleep the hell of a lot easier knowing the asshole is behind bars.’ ‘Couldn’t put it better’, Connor nodded. ‘You want to come with us?’ They had parked the car and Gavin looked up to the apartment complex he knew far too well. ‘Yeah, I’ll come. Don’t like it a bit, but I might be of help.’

They exited the car and made their way up using the shitty rumbling elevator Gavin despised. Not only that you had to fear the damn thing giving in any moment, the memories of how he had been slammed against a wall, barely conscious with the bastard’s lips all over his body… No, he refused to think of that. He refused to think of anything but him being here to put an end to it all. He felt two reassuring hands on his shoulders as the door opened and gladly let them exit first, following the two androids towards the apartment Gavin had never wanted to see ever again.

In the end it didn’t look too different to what he had gotten to know: the flat was messy, clothes thrown around, empty mugs and take out containers stood on the kitchen counters and table. The dead plant that had been Gavin’s company throughout many drying-outs from some experimental drug high, still stood on the windowsill rotting and gathering dust. ‘Would you rather wait outside?’, Connor asked, but Gavin shook his head. ‘No. Thank you, but we need to find Charlotte 2.0. I’ll help.’ They systematically went through every corner and every drawer. Gavin found a few disposable phones he couldn’t activate; Connor was long sitting on the couch interfacing with a laptop while Nines was somewhere in the bathroom.

Gavin was waiting for the next phone to charge enough so he could try to get to any contacts or other data on it. He tried to concentrate on his task, but waiting hadn’t exactly sat right with him for most, so he ended up lost in memories he hoped to rather forget. Two years of his life just gone and wasted. Who knew how many years of his life the drugs had taken from him? The lies he had told. The things he had done to keep David safe. No, to keep those dear to him safe. He looked up at Connor. Did David know of his relationship with Connor and Nines? Did he know how happy he was with them, how much he loved and needed them? Was Charlotte programmed to cause them harm too? He didn’t want to imagine what would happen would they not find whatever failsafe David had thought up this time. If they had to let David go. Phck, no, they had to find it. They-

‘Nines!’ Connor had stood up and placed the laptop on the kitchen counter next to Gavin. ‘I found something, but you are better at this.’ RK900 hurried out of the bathroom and joined their side. ‘Better at what?’ ‘At breaching the security measures. I think I found this Charlotte 2.0, but I can’t access it. It’s protected with a password and I can’t get past it. The system looks everything like an android mind to me. Or at least the security is similar. I can’t get in.’ ‘Okay, let me try.’ Nines reached for the laptop to interface and Gavin watched how his LED spun faster and faster as his brows furrowed. It only was a matter of seconds, but that alone should have told Gavin something was wrong. When the android stepped back desperately looking at the computer-screen asking for a password. ‘I can’t get in either. We need the password.’

‘How many tries do we have?’, Gavin asked. ‘Three’, Connor supplied. ‘We can’t just trial and error the solution.’ Gavin stared at the keyboard, then turned around to look at the apartment. ‘Try Gavin Reed.’ ‘What?’, Nines asked. ‘Darling, we can’t just try it out.’ ‘Listen’, Gavin sighed. ‘I wasn’t the only one David tried his drugs on. But it… It was personal with me. In some twisted way, he really loved me. Why else pull such a damn stunt? He could have just moved to a different place and continued on with his business. But he stayed, he kept dealing right under our noses after I left. The asshole wanted to be found. And we don’t exactly have much time. Try my name, if it doesn’t work, we still have two tries left.’

Nines stared at him unmoving, but Connor took the chance and typed in “Gavin Reed” Then he hit enter. The screen cleared to give access to code Gavin didn’t understand. But from the way Nines and Connor interfaced with the device immediately he took it had worked. ‘It’s deactivated’, Nines stated, stepping back. He looked at Gavin, who had pulled his arms around his middle and looked to the ground. ‘Thank you, Gavin. Let’s get this Laptop to the police and then go home.’ ‘Forget this all’, Connor said, when he pushed the laptop shut. ‘Sounds good’, Gavin sighed tiredly and closed his eyes as both androids pulled him in a deep hug. ‘Sounds phcking perfect.’

[>next part]

[s-creations]

Return the Flames - Chapter 10

All at Dead Bird Studios knew of Amos' (The  Conductor's) ability. How the owl could suddenly erupt into flames if  angered enough. When the studio first opened, Dominic (DJ Grooves) was  told that Amos had his ability under control. Nothing to worry about. No  possible loss of anything from an open flame.

A few years later however, and that control seems to have lessened to a dangerous degree.

It should have just been a simple, week long drive to fix the problem. It really should have been.

Dominic should have asked a lot more questions and should have been prepared for a twist ending.

_________________

Fandom: A Hat in Time       Rating: General Audience       Relationships/Pairings: The ConductorXDJ Grooves     Warnings: Eventual depictions of violence, slow burn relationship, named characters, attempt of an accent, being hunted down, a race against time (sort of).

It was so painfully cold. The flame that had scared him for so long, he now begged for it to return. Something, anything to starve off this chill that he seemed to be drowning in. The voices were gone as well. The quiet was somehow worse than their constant chanting and teasing. There was nothing here but the cold and the quiet. And he hated it.

 No one was there to see him struggle. To see him try and claw his way back up. He was alone and it hurt.

 He just wanted this to end.

 Someone just end this please!

 “You’ll be okay. I promise you’ll be okay.”

 But he hurt so much.

 “I know. But you’ll be okay.”

 He was so tired. 

 “I know. But you’ll be okay.”

 How could you say that so easily?

 “Because you’re stubborn and I know you won’t let something like this take you down. Please remain. I need you.”

 When Amos woke again, he was far more aware of his surroundings than the first time. Meaning no wild and frantic outburst while threatening others with a chair. It may have also helped his peace of mind to find Dominic passed out in the chair next to him instead of missing from the action. Said penguin’s upper body was laying out on the bed. Amos looked down, surprised to find his hand trapped in Dominic’s grasp.

 Sitting up as best he could and keeping his hand connected to the penguin’s, Amos took in the decor of the hut. Or at least what was actually there. As it was rather basic in it’s set up. Shelves on the wall near the bed held small pots and clean rags. The pots held so potent herbs if Amos’ nose was anything to go by. A small table was placed near the bed with a wooden cup holding water resting on top. The bed Amos was resting on was the only one in the small hut, Dominic resting on one of the two offered chairs. The hut itself was small but not cramped, with the door being nothing more than an archway that was covered by a deep red cloth that was gently moving in the chilled wind. 

 It was all oddly relaxing. Normally, Amos was uncomfortable with the quiet and the calm. Wanting to just move and work on something. At this moment however, he just wanted to stay like this for a little while longer. Laying on a rather comfortable bed with no one hunting him down and Dominic sitting so close.

 “Amos…?” Said penguin grumbled weakly, slowly starting to wake. One hand still gripping onto Amos’ while the other wiped at his eyes.

 “Hi…”

 Dominic laughed softly. “Hello. How are you feeling?”

 “Better...more aware than I was before. Where are we?”

 “A small village near the base of the mountain.”

 “H-How far?”

 “About a day's walk, maybe two.”

 “Good...Good, then we can leave and get this done with.” Amos winced as he attempted to stand. Only to be held back down by Dominic.

 “Calm yourself. You’re still healing.”

 “But we need ta go.”

 “Amos, we’re safe here. We’re hidden away and they have patrols set up to make sure no agents get too close. Please give yourself a day to relax before we start moving again.”

 Amos frowned, reaching out to grip Dominic’s hand again. The penguin happily returned the gesture, both hands wrapping around Amos’ single. A thumb rubbed the back of the owl’s hand. It was such a soothing gesture that Amos had no reason to argue. 

 “...We’ll leave tomorrow?”

 Dominic smiled. “Tomorrow, I promise Sweetheart.”

 “Alright.”

 “Is the Child awake?” The birds turned towards the entrance as the Elder and two healers walked in. Dominic pulled away to allow Amos to be examined. The owl was upset at the loss of that comfort. But instead of focusing on that, he turned towards the Elder.

 “Child? I ain’t that much younger than yer grizzled self.”

 “Amos.” Dominic berated from the sidelines.

 The Elder merely chuckled. “So, you are also close to 600 years?”

 “...No.” The owl grumbled. 

 “Don’t fret. I only call you Child, not because of your age, but because of your heritage.”

 “Heritage… Ya mean the Phoenix side o’ me.”

 “Correct! You are the Child of the Pure Flame. A being who’s a direct descendant of the Celestial Phoenix.”

 “Yeah, great fun. Nothin’ like bein’ related to a deadbeat father.”

 “Fair point.” The Elder fell quiet when one of the healers spoke up. Nodding a few times before addressing the visiting birds again. “It seems as if the Child is going well.”

 “The ‘Child’ has a name.”

 “Ah, very well. While you’re doing well Amos, I would advise you take it slow today. It’s unclear if you have fully ‘flushed’ everything out of your system yet. It would be a great misstep if you started your journey again only to relapse.”

 “...Fine.”

 “Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him.” Dominic smirked at the glare Amos sent his way.

 “Wonderful!” the Elder laughed, “I will find something for you to wear.”

 Amos’ feathers fluffed at that. “We have luggage…”

 “I’m well aware. Where do you think I’m getting your outfit from?”

 Dominic held in a laugh at the Elder’s mocking tone, said monk and the healers leaving the visiting birds alone. Amos laid back down, arms crossed and clearly pouting.

 “...Sassy goat.”

 Dominic couldn’t cover up his laughter at that.

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 It was in the early afternoon when they emerged from the medical hut. The owl swearing up and down he was going to pull his feathers out if he stayed in that bed any longer. Amos put up a disgruntled facade when he realized he would have to lean against Dominic to keep himself upright. Hoping it was enough to pull attention away from his furiously beating heart as the penguin slipped an arm around Amos’ waist. 

 Being able to move, even if it was slow going at first, changed his attitude quickly. Instead of feeling confined, he was able to see where they’d tucked themselves away while hiding from the world. It was quaint and small. Something clearly not touched by anything outside in the modern world. A place Amos was actually happy they were able to stop at before this journey ended. 

 Although it was confusing as to why all in the village seemed to be running around.

 “What are all these nomads doin’?” Amos questioned as another group returned with baskets filled with fruit.

 “Setting up a feast for us.” Dominic replied simply.

 “Us?”

 “Well, more of a way to help us relax. But yes, us.”

 “Ah, of course…”

 “Are you uncomfortable with this?”

 The owl squirmed. “...Maybe.”

 Dominic merely laughed. “Rather strange to hear that coming from you.”

 “What are ya yammerin’ about?”

 “That you're not alright with all this attention. You. The bird who flaunts every 1st place trophy you’ve ever gotten.”

 “I earned the right ta flaunt them! Also, very funny comin’ from you. You with yer flashy outfits.”

 “How dare you.” Both attempted to hold their glares. Only to end up laughing the next second. “Good to know we both have our prideful hangups.”

 Amos waved his hand to easily push the conversation away. “Good ta hear yer happy. Now, let’s see if this village has somethin’ ta drink.”

 “You’d better be discussing water.”

 “Only if it’s fermented.”

 “That makes no sense!”

 Amos laughed as he broke away from Dominic’s grasp, limping slightly as he headed over to the  first collection of food. The penguin quickly followed. But the owl was already sniffing the nearest piles of fruit when Dominic joined his side again.

 “And how are you going to ask for a drink? I don’t think nomads even have alcohol.”

 “I wasn’t lyin’ about the fermentation. Here.”

 Dominic fumbled slightly as a lumpy skinned, purple fruit was tossed his way. He gave it a tentative sniff. Which he instantly regretted and he pulled away in disgust. “That’s horrible, it smells like brandy!”

 “Ya know it.” Amos confirmed, taking a large bite out of the one he held. “Oof, that’ll put feathers on yer tail.”

 Dominic frowned as the owl quickly polished off the fruit he had before going for another one. The penguin quickly grabbed the other’s wrist. Smiling sheepishly at the disgruntled look he received. “I’m sure this is your typical way to, uh, self medicate. But I would like you to try and take it easy.”

 Amos huffed. “Fine...one more and then I’ll wait for the festivities to properly begin.”

 Not really what Dominic was asking for. But he supposed that was the best he was going to get. Perhaps he could make another convincing argument later. 

 To keep themselves somewhat entertained, Dominic volunteered them to help set up the feast. With Amos responding to this by grumbling about wanting to just relax. And the nomads gestured to explain that they were guests and should just be enjoying themselves, not working. But the penguin was able to convince both parties to participate in some way. 

 It was a little touch and go as far as where the visiting birds would be able to help out. But they eventually found their comfort zones. Dominic primarily stayed with the cooks. Helping out with the multiple dishes that were being prepared and layout the table that would hold the mountain of food. Chatting with the cooks that could understand him and looking forward to recreating some of these dishes when he got home.

 Amos, however, stuck with the younger generation. Keeping the children of the village entertained by playing games and helping them carry the needed wood for the planned evening bonfire. Dominic saw that personality the owl’s grandchildren clamored for whenever they saw him. Amos even seemed younger than what his true age was. It was endearing to watch him chase the small forms around the large pile of firewood. 

 The owl was darting everywhere in that village, seeming to carry multiple children at a time. Dominic smiled whenever Amos would pass by the cooking area, happy to know the other was feeling better.

 “Amos seems to be doing well.” The Elder commented, the penguin unprepared for the other’s arrival. 

 “He is...He really is,” Dominic replied after his heart calmed down, “I’ve only heard him laugh a few times over our working years. But this trip, despite its hardships, has opened him up just a little bit more.”

 “You’ve done well with helping in that aspect. I hope he understands that.”

 The penguin became flustered, placing the knife down to address the elder better. “I...I think he does.”

 “Bonfires are a rather romantic setting.”

 “I- Why are you so interested in my love life? I don’t even know you!”

 “Hello, I’m the Elder of the Starlight Mountain village.”

 “You know what I mean.”

 “Dominic, I understand that flustered, nervous feeling. All too well actually. I know the situation is not what you would expect it to be. But...I’m worried that your window of opportunity is slowly closing.”

 “I know…” Dominic huffed as he chopped vegetables. A bit more violently than what he probably should have done. “I know. But this isn’t about me. It’s about keeping him happy and healthy...and hope that is enough to keep him here.”

 The Elder nodded slowly. “Believe me when I say, you make him happy.”

 The penguin was not pleased with how hot he’d become from that statement.

 As the sun began to set, the large bundle of collected wood was finally lit. Dominic was pleased with the numerous pieces of food he’d helped create. Even partaking in the fermented fruit before Amos ate it all. The owl clearly flushed, even with how early in the celebration they were. Music soon started being played, numerous nomads taking up places around the roaring fire. Dancing around it either alone or with a partner in hand. Dominic felt his foot tapping to the beat while Amos made some half-hearted comment about it being unnecessary. 

 The sky was completely dark when Dominic lost some inhibitions and allowed the loud music to take over. Joining the already dancing nomads surrounding the large fire, he moved from partner to partner, the music seeming to swell as he moved to it. He’d almost forgotten what it was like to let all just melt away and allowed himself to just move. Move without a care and let the music take control. 

 All of it came to a short pause when he felt a clawed hand grab one of his. Quickly being pulled flushed against Amos, whose face was very red. 

 Dominic was only allowed a moment's pause to look Amos over before he was pulled in to dance. The owl took the lead. A skilled dancer even in his drunken state. It was an absolute thrill. Dominic laughed as he pressed closer, Amos responding in kind, and the rest of the world seemed to just disappear. It was just the two of them, having a moment where they could just focus on themselves. Better than the fair as Amos initiated the contact. Even if he was drunk. But if that smile on his face was any indication, the owl was just as happy as Dominic was right now.

 The penguin was brought back when the cheers of the nomads became louder than the music. Dominic’s attention was pulled towards the fire. Which had become taller than what it was before. A spiral of different colors that reached out towards the sky as it twisted and turned. It was a spectacular light show that seemed to speed the penguin’s heart rate. 

 Amos let out a small chirp before nuzzling under Dominic’s beak. The penguin felt warmer suddenly and he gently nipped behind the owl’s ear. The roaring fire wasn’t the only source of warmth for that evening.