#and like considerate because thats tim

[haveihitanerve]

My Sun And Stars

“Nausea is a feeling of discomfort or sickness in the stomach, often described as an urge to vomit. It can also feel like an unsettled stomach or queasiness.”

“Thank Siri.” Stephanie Brown grumbled, arms cradling the toilet bowl as she lay crumpled in the corner of her bathroom. She totally wanted the textbook definition of what nausea was and not what caused it.

But before she could snark this totally useless comment to her inanimate device, a new wave smashed into her and she bent back over the bowl, hurling up her breakfast, and probably last nights dinner, and then all of her internal organs. Or at least, that's what it felt like.

She stayed there for a few minutes, just heaving until nothing came out anymore, and let herself fully collapse to the floor.

After about five minutes when she was sure her body wasn’t going to immediately kill her if she tried to stand, she wobbled to her feet and flushed, washing her hands and her mouth in the sink before stumbling to her bed.

It seemed there was no more denying the test at the bottom of her trashcan. Siri, after giving her about seven different ways to say she felt like her insides were being stretched like a rubber band and basketball-ed out through her throat, it had, in fact, given her a list of reasons as to why she was feeling nauseous. And, unfortunately, pregnancy was decently high up.

She curled onto her side, dragging her comforter over her shoulders as she tugged out her phone. Her fingers hovered over her contact list, lip caught between her teeth. It wasn't that she didn't have people to call. It was just… who.

Her thumb moved to the pinned number, only a heart as the name. Steph sighed, switching off the phone and dropping it on the bed next to her.

Tim… He would… she didn't know, actually. There was no doubt he would care for her if she told him. He had taken care of her when the child hadn’t been his. But that had also been… obligation free. When she hadn’t known who he was. When the kid hadn't been his.

Her hand reached down, cupping her stomach. Last time… she didn't have a particularly good memory or fondness of being pregnant. She hadn't wanted it, the father hadn't been around, and she had been young. So young.

Steph sighed, dropping her hand as she sat up. There wasn't any way to actually keep the pregnancy hidden, not from the worlds greatest detective and not from Bruce either. It wasn't like she saw them on a daily basis or anything.

She dropped her head into her hands, taking deep, measured breaths. She was due for a date with Tim later, at seven. He’d said he’d come to pick her up. Steph glanced at the clock. It was twelve.

She let out a soft whimper groan, getting to her feet and grabbed her coat. There was no point in delaying the inevitable.

The walk to Wayne Manor was long, but Steph didn't mind. The cold air gave her something else to focus on, like the numbness of her hands, totally a symptom of the wind and not her anxiousness, and the fact that she was inhaling Gotham air.

She had to smile at that thought, though. It was one of Tim’s biggest gripes. How she and Jason and Bruce all relished breathing the city in deeply, how unbalanced they felt outside of Gotham, how rejuvenated the toxic air made them feel, while it made him gag.

Her smile dropped as she neared the Wayne gates, bypassing them with ease. With her keys. She knew it would set off alarms, she never used the gate the normal way. None of them did, save Alfred. But she honestly was too tired to care.

Bruce, surprisingly, opened the door. “Tim isn’t here. He and Cass are out right now.” Steph nodded, the numbness spreading slightly. She had wanted to put off the reveal, but now that she was here she just wanted to get it over with.

“Steph?” Bruce asked gently, and she realized he’d been speaking. He stepped aside, gesturing at the foyer. “Would you like to come in?” For about the first time, Steph realized she very much did.

She nodded, stumbling into the entrance as Bruce closed the door behind her, still so gentle. So careful. He reached for her jacket, but Steph leaned away. She needed the comfort of something thick around her.

“Would you like a blanket?” Bruce asked quietly, because of course he knew. Of course he saw. He always saw. Saw all of her. Too much.

Steph nodded, allowing him to slip the jacket off her shoulders, ignoring the tender way in which his fingers brushed against the nape of her neck, so warm, so familiar, so comforting.

She marched into the den instead, away from him, away from his eyes, away from his knowing. But of course he followed, he always followed, and a big, heavy, comforting black blanket was wrapped around her shoulders, a purple bat stamped on the back. Her blanket. Because he’d made one for her. For all of them. His past Robins, Batgirls, his children who had found such comfort in curling under his cape that he had made them blankets of it.

“Is everything alright Stephanie?” He asked gently. Steph shook her head, sinking onto the couch. She knew he wanted to push. It was just how Bruce functioned. But he held back, nodded. Brought her a plate of food, a glass of water, and let her sit. Quiet.

Steph nibbled at the warm cookies, freshly baked, and watched the door. He didn’t come, not for a while, long enough that Steph stood, muttering about using the bathroom to Bruce, who only nodded and returned to his book.

She headed up the stairs, stumbling into the annoyingly lavish bathroom, and leaned against the sink. She wasn't feeling nauseous, thank Diana, but she still felt unsteady.

“Steph?” A knock on the door. Steph breathed shakily, realizing belatedly that her eyes were stinging with tears. “Steph?” Jason knocked again, more insistent. “I saw you go in there Brown. You good?” He sounded so worried. So… so much like he cared about her. He did, of course. She knew that.

“No.” she choked out, and it was all he needed, picking the lock and opening the door.

“Steph…” he breathed, closing the door behind her. “What do you need?” Straight to the point. She appreciated it. No questions she didn't want to answer. No useless comforting words that didn't help.

“A hug.” She gasped out, and Jason moved, enveloping her in his arms, cradling her as they sank to the floor, Jason’s back thumping against the door.

It wasn’t until she spotted the wet spots on his jacket that Steph realized she was crying. She hadn't cried. Not when the pregnancy test had come out. Not when nausea had crippled her to bed for three days, not when Bruce had been so gentle.

But now… hot, fat tears streamed down her cheeks, and Jason didn't comment, holding her close, his arms warm and strong and protective, blocking her from the world, from words, from things she didn't want to talk about, from herself.

She didn't know how long they sat there, Jason rubbing soothing circles on her back, but at some point Bruce had come up, knocked, asked quietly if she was okay. Jason had answered and he had left again.

Steph hiccuped, tears finally empty. “I got you.” Jason murmured, lifting her without strain, setting her on the counter and grabbed some towels, wiping her cheeks free, and handing her a few tissues.

“Steph?” Bruce’s voice. Outside the door. So he hadn't left entirely. “Tim is here.” Steph nodded, and Jason called out a thank you to him.

“You okay? What’s Timmy done?” Jason asked, hands resting on either side of her legs as he looked up at her face.

Steph shook her head. “Nothing I didn't want.” She mumbled. Jason raised an eyebrow and she realized how bad the words sounded. She let out a slight hiccupy laugh, shaking her head. “I’m pregnant.” The words blurted out before Steph could reconsider, and Jason stared at her, mouth actually dropping. She laughed again, shaking her head as she used the tissues to wipe at her eyes.

“You're- so- this. Tim-” Jason stumbled backwards, grabbing his head. He shook himself, pulling himself together, most endearingly. “So um,” He gestured to her, to the mound of tissues, to the tear stains on his jacket. “Were these uh, happy tears or…?”

Steph shrugged. “I don't. Know. Emotions?” She guessed and Jason nodded.

“Okay. You’re telling Tim?” She nodded. “How long have you known?”

Steph twisted the towel in her hands, looking away. “I took a pregnancy test a few weeks ago. I got sick last week. I wasn't sure, but um… for about a week now?” She didn’t specify “a few” meant six.

But Jason undoubtedly knew she wasn't telling the full truth. Honesty, but withholding information was basically the family's motto. Bruce was lucky they were at least all honest. Not fully, but honest nonetheless.

Jason helped her off the sink, brushing a few strands of hair behind her ear and helping to wipe away the last few residues of crying. “You good?” He asked quietly, and Steph almost laughed. His resemblance to Bruce was almost scary.

“I'm good. Gotta get it over with.” She shrugged, reaching for the doorhandle, but Jason caught her, wrapping her in a tight hug.

“You know that no matter what Timmy says, you’ve got a home here. With us. B won’t let you leave once he learns he’s a grandfather.” He pulled back, looking her in the eyes. “And you’ll always have a place in my apartment. You know that yeah?”

Steph nodded, pushing his shoulder. “You’ll make me cry again you jerk.” Jason laughed, opening the door.

“Good. Now, I feel a little bad, so just know that Tim won’t deny you. He’s not like that. I promise. And if he is…” Steph snorted, leaving the bathroom and heading down the stairs.

“I know. I know. Thanks Jason.” He stayed at the top of the stairs, saluting.

“Of course. Dead Robins gotta stay together y'know?” He smirked, smile turning softer. “Need me?”

Steph shook her head. “No. Thanks. I've got to do this alone.” Jason nodded.

“I know he’s my brother, but you’re my sister too, Steph. I’ll beat him up.” Steph laughed, waving over her shoulder.

“Bye Jason.” He sighed, but let her leave.

Tim was in the den, waiting for her, if his nervous tapping was any indication. He looked up the second she walked in, eyes scanning her carefully as he walked over, hands automatically settling on her arms.

“Hey, you okay? You've been crying.” His eyes were worried, hands careful as he tugged her to the couch. Bruce nodded to them and stood, giving them privacy.

“I’m… fine.” Steph murmured, sinking onto the couch next to him, folding her legs under her body as she tugged Bruce’s blanket to her.

Tim was watching her, leg bouncing. “You’re scaring me Steph. What's up?” Steph sighed, fiddling with the blanket on her shoulders.

“I’ve uh, been sick recently. Nauseous and um, I’ve been craving these awful pickle hotdogs.” Tim wrinkled his nose, but she could tell his mind was whirring, cycling through why she thought this was relevant information to share.

As much as she liked to talk, most of it had a purpose, and he had been one of the first few people to notice it. “Pickle hotdogs again?” He murmured, slight teasing in his tone. “You haven't wanted those since-”

Steph saw the exact moment he realized what she meant. His gaze darted up, scanning her again, as if she’d already be showing.

“You- you’re pregnant.” It wasn’t a question, but a carefully stated fact. Steph nodded, waiting for his reaction. He didn’t withdraw, and he didn't yell, but he didn't react positively either. In fact, he didn't react at all.

“Okay.” Tim said softly. “You’re pregnant. Still in the first trimester, so you have time. Bruce has money, I have money, hell we could even do it in the cave here if you want, Alfred knows how, I think, he was a doctor, and of course we have enough medicine to keep you unconscious and free of pain, you won't feel a thing-”

“Tim, what are you talking about?” Steph interrupted his fast paced ramble, and he paused, looking up at her.

“What?” Steph’s arms curled around her waist.

“I want to keep it.”

And she knew it was true. Before, abortion hadn't been an option. Not just because there would have been no one who could have provided it for her, but also because it had been too late when she’d discovered it, and much too late when she had a discussion with herself on whether or not she wanted to keep it. It hadn't mattered what she wanted, anyway. She wouldn't have been given one.

But this time… this time she had a choice. This time she was older, this time she could handle a child. This time she wanted a child. And Tim… Tim was the father. She wanted him to be the father. But if he didn't want to- Steph looked at him, but Tim’s eyes were glowing.

“You want to keep it?” He breathed. Steph nodded slowly, unsure. Before she could ask what he wanted, she was pressed into the couch, Tim’s arms wrapped around her in a tackle hug.

“I love you I love you I love you I love you.”

Tim chanted into her neck, arms squeezing tighter, and Steph laughed, lifting his head between her hands. “You.. you want to have a kid?”

Tim’s smile was blinding. “Are you kidding? With you? Yes. I- I always wanted kids.” He admitted quietly. “When I became Robin, and then Red Robin, it… the dream became just that. A dream. But then I met you, and you were pregnant, and then we dated, and now…” He sighed. “I thought you’d never want kids after what happened. And i was fine with it. I am fine with it. But if you want it. If you are… then yes. Yes.”

Steph leaned up and kissed him, and his hands dug into her sides, kissing back like he’d never stop, like he’d never let go, like he’d never leave her. Steph knew he wouldn't.

“You are the father, by the way.” She murmured a half hour later, Tim’s head on her chest, his hand drawing lazy circles on her stomach as her hands glided through his hair. “Just in case you wanted it from me. We can do a blood test, of course, I know you’ll want that. But you are. Its only you. Its only ever going to be you.”

Tim propped himself up on his elbow, leaning down to kiss her again. “Its only you for me too Steph. Spoiler and Robin. Tim Drake and Stephanie Brown. The dead robins. Forever.” Steph smiled, running her hands through his chest.

“That sounds pretty perfect Wonder Boy.” Tim grinned, hand tightening on her hip. “Perfect.” Steph laughed, and they sat up together, slowly, leaning against each other.

“Two imperfect people. How perfect.” Tim laughed, and Steph couldn’t help it. She kissed him again. 

[louisjude]

im a multishipper. i ship buddie and bucktommy. but if im being honest one side is being incredibly more hateful and toxic than the other side. (aka the one thats been around longer) maybe i’ve taken off my rose-colored shipping glasses, but seeing ppl make hate posts abt tommy/lou gives me the ick. it makes me actually realize why oliver left twt. bitterness will get you nowhere. if buddie is meant to happen then it’ll happen. you cannot force it to happen. everything i’ve seen and read tells me buddie was more of a consideration pre-s5 than it is currently. and that fucking sucks but just because things aren’t going your way doesn’t mean you need to get on the internet and be a bully. it’s truly mind-boggling to see people so intense in their hate for a character that has righted his wrongs, who is now friends with the people he wronged, is well-liked among said characters and is now being a positive influence on buck’s newfound sexuality. their dynamic is also nothing new, pessimist/optimist ship dynamics have been around forever and it’s only a problem because it’s not eddie.

i would be happy for buddie to go canon as much as the next guy. getting buck canonically bisexual is mind-blowing enough in itself, i’m glad we’re witnessing it at all. if ryan doesn’t want to do buddie because he feels its important they stay friends then so be it. platonic friendships between a queer man and straight man are important, especially one that runs so deep like buck and eddie’s. sure, their friendship could be read as romantic throughout the show, but partly because oliver and ryan truly share a great chemistry on screen which helps lean into it but also because these shows are not written with an endgame in mind. 9-1-1 is very much a go with the flow show, and if bucktommy is where the show is flowing then that’s what is meant to be. invisible string theory isn’t because ppl think it was always planned from the beginning, it’s because it’s amazing how well buck and tommy becoming a couple comes together so perfectly out of pure coincidence.

we know buck was supposed to be made queer long ago. we also know maddie originally was brought in for eddie but was put with chimney instead. if tim minear hadn’t left after s4 i truly think buddie could have been already established by now, but unfortunately that isn’t how things work. perhaps the idea of tommy and eddie was pitched but ultimately ryan didn’t agree it would work for these character nor the story being told at the time. buck was already supposed to be queer, so turning it to tommy and buck instead makes total sense.

no one is saying you aren’t allowed to continue to ship buddie. most ships in the world are ships that have never gone canon. buddie is valid even if it’s non-canon. god knows i will continue to read and write for them and enjoy them whilst also enjoying buck and tommy together. the behavior i’ve been seeing though is just weird, especially from larger creators who i understand are very passionate for buddie, but it’s weird when you flip it into tommy/lou hate instead of just talking about buddie itself.

perhaps the theories will be true. we don’t know! maybe buck and tommy won’t last and buddie will be endgame. i’m happy either way because buck’s sexuality is so important for him and at the current state of the show eddie is absolutely not ready for anything romantic because he’s still grieving shannon to a point where he is not ready to move on romantically just yet and we’re literally shown this. even if buddie is happening, it is not happening by the season finale nor is it probably happening by the beginning of s8 considering the current storylines and where they’ll be at by the end of this season. lou probably isn’t going anywhere and from the looks of it, we’ll probably be bumped up into a semi-regular character in s8 like karen. he’s easy to write into the plot, he’s got connections to people and emergencies outside of buck that would integrate him well into the plot. their romance is supposed to be “romcom” esque, they’re taking things slow but they’re obviously happy together at the moment.

im just really tired of the nasty attitudes ive been seeing. sure theres are som toxic people on both sides, but to me its obvious which side is being the bigger bully. reality checks needs to be put in place for some people, go outside and realize you are getting way too worked up over a tv show where plotlines are out of your control. if the show is ruined for you over one relationship then stop watching it.

[monstrouslyobsessed]

if my body can just...chill, that'd be great. gonna try and publish two pieces by tomorrow. here's hoping i can do it!

Ooh! Regarding the Jaguar tribe, I pick the AFAB one, please! —anonymous

ah alright, i can probably do that one first, maybe. just trying to be considerate to everyone possible!

What age you became (or started) to became a Monsterfucker?and what triggred it for you?;for me it was when i was like 7-10 because of Ben 10 LMFAO.

I had a crush on XLR8,Ripjaws (i love me some shape of water looking monster),Heatblast and Big Chill (my fav Mothman),i also loved Upgrade but when they introducted Malware it was breaking point for me,like you are bringing this EVIL AND WELL WRITTEN VILLAIN VERSION OF UPGRADE AND EXPECT ME NOT TO SIMP???

Sorry if this was asked before and thank you! —anonymous

you're the first one who asked!!

but uhhhh, shoot, i think i was probablyyyyyy 6 or 7 with goliath from gargoyles from early 90s??? maybe??? not too positive tbh, it had been a very long time for me. i remembered having a bit of a crush on demona too…i think her name was? the kid me was shocked to see that yes, you can pair a human up with an inhuman character, but i didn't exactly fall in the monsterfucker genre too deep until probably the mid2010s. that genre just wasn't popular before then and the internet was sorta…pretty vanilla then too, at least in my usual internet hang-outs.

oh man, ben 10. i barely remembered half the shits about that show lol watched the kid era from the beginning to the end and missed out a few on the teen era (i missed gwen's sass ngl), but i definitely lost all interest when its creator passed and the jerkwads at cartoon network or whatever company it was rebooted it from scratch and completely disrespected the creator's wishes??? like why lmao and the new style was hideous, so i p much dropped out from ben10 since and don't keep up with it at all.

Mars attacks??? Would you write for it????? —anonymous

er one by tim burton?? unless there are other ones i wasn't aware about (the title is super common with the older media iirc), i'd have to say no. the appearance of those aliens from that movie is not…something i'd be into. sorry!

that said, i certainly did write several alien pieces, including the classic martian aliens in ufo one if you're interested! the latter was very nondescript so you're welcome to imagine whatever alien appearance you'd prefer :)

i envy how you're able to create such a specific and fascinating story —anonymous

daw thank you! <3 my writing def ain't perfect and i know im slow as heck, but it makes me happy that i have kind readers like you reading my pieces <3

i like you —anonymous

i like you too nonnie!

okay thats all the nonstory related asks i have atm. if there's a question i haven't answered, chances are, the hellsite might've eaten it :( if that's the case for you, then feel free to send in another one!

that said, ive been looking around for ask memes for my oc's like that classic nsfw abc's one to interact with yall and do something fun with my characters, but haven't a lot of luck finding any i liked. if you have any rec, hmu!

otherwise, <3 yall be good to one other and take care!

[arugulafriend]

you know thats racist in and of itself right? like its actually documented that racial theory led to an increase in black crime, telling black boys the world is stacked against them so why bother trying. and more whites are committing suicide because people like you think the average joe just trying to live life is an opporessor for no reason based on the color of his skin. sounds more like you hate yourself than anyone else.

Have you been to watching Tim pool? The daily wire? I beg u to get out of the right wing pipeline.

Just because you have experienced injustices as a white person doesn’t mean poc aren’t systemically oppressed. The injustices you have faced are the result of capitalism, and America’s inability to take care of its citizens.

Now please stop bringing anti-black conspiracies into my inbox. Critical race theory does not teach black people to be victims and give up because of oppression. Its an academic theory that studies race and how it affects our modern society.

White men that are committing suicide recently are overwhelmingly elderly. The idea that young white men are overwhelmingly committing suicide is a lie spread by right wing commentators to make young white men feel like victims of a rapidly changing society and culture. (Here’s a report from the cdc)

I do not hate myself! I think I’m pretty cool actually! Recognizing that me as a white person have an inherent step up in America due to my skin color is just being honest with myself and recognizing reality. Not self hatred!

(I won’t even start on intersectionality and how being queer and femme presenting adds a whole other layer to how I am treated)

Much love to u anon! 💕 I hope you read this and really take my points into consideration!! Your current outlook on life is genuinely very self defeating and apathetic, and you’re projecting the effects of conservatism onto progressive/leftist ideas and theories.

[meademalove]

Fairly sure Tim has literally said he loves Viv because shes the one thats so brutally honest when he interviews her etc and clearly he massively respect the football side of things.

Im not sure why he seems to feel so strongly Viv will leave this summer, I do think he is looking at it purely from a football perspective and maybe him not being sure where Viv fits back into the team as the team has learned to function without her (but thats likely partly down to fact we havent been able to really see it for the past years because of injuries) but Im not convinced Tim is taking in the personal side of things and whats likely very important to Vivs decision.

Yes and I don't understand why he isn't taking that into consideration, he sees them every week and knows them both personally.

[anthroposeen]

[disclaimer: i dont mean for this to come off as argumentative or mean-spirited, but i just want to do a blurb on my own interpretation of these relationships and the morality of jon's actions]

i think an important thing to note when reacting to other character's treatment of jon is that we are told the story through his perspective. the tapes follow him and let us see how he acts with his guard down, and we get to see the traumatic things hes experienced. without jon admitting what hes gone through, the others are unaware it happens. so they dont see jon's vulnerable and honest moments that makes the audience feel sympathetic, they only see whatever mask he puts on. and more often than not, he puts on a pretty shitty persona.

in s2, the others didnt have an explanation for why jon was being a stand-off paranoid mess, even jon didnt know what was agitating him at first. and he wasnt doing harmless things to them, we hear about him breaking into gertrude's flat, going through her things, stalking the movements and houses of all his assistants, and being very aggressive with them if hes confronted (tim is a great example). and jon is largely absent in s3, along w being a suspect in a murder case, so it tracks that they all see him in the same light as in s2, how are they supposed to know hes changed? that hes been through traumatic things? and if they've noticed a change in his actions by the end of s3, its likely washed away by the time they see him again in s4. for the audience, the change between seasons is pretty quick, but the archive crew hadn't interacted w jon for 6 months- and once he does wake up, whatever tied him to his humanity is now severed.

im not going to entirely defend basira, bc i dont think shes an entirely innocent person (obviously shes as morally grey as jon) but i do think her relationship to daisy is complex and overlooked. also, important to note that while daisy was hunting jon she thought he was a murderer, and correctly worked out that he was no longer human, so her motivations werent all bad. plus, basira has known, trusted, and worked with daisy for years- of course she supports daisy's convictions and actions and distrusts jon (who they investigated for being a murderer twice).

i think it isnt right of her to fully support daisy- especially after its understood that her actions were largely harmful, an abuse of power, and a reaction of her affiliation w the hunt. but we do see basira understand that what daisy did is bad, and though she expresses anger about daisy being inactive post-buried, she never actually pushes daisy to hunt. even when julia, trevor, and the not!them appear in mag158- she urges daisy to not turn to the hunt, and follows through on her promise to take daisy out (not to mention the lead-up arc to daisy's death in s5, which shows basira recognizing daisy's actions). so i dont find it entirely hypocritical of her to also criticize jon's "eating habits" (even martin didn't condone that, and went way out of his way to bring that to the others' attention). im not saying shes entirely without fault or flaw, since she treats daisy much better than jon even though theyre journeys are similar, but i think thats what happens with a cast of very complex characters.

as for georgie, i hate that shes heavily criticized by the fandom for essentially keeping her peace. she welcomed jon into her house after not seeing him for years (i think jon even says the breakup wasnt very good). the cherry on top is that she even lets him stay after the police asked for him on grounds of a murder investigation. she lets him stay there after hes lied to her multiple times about the tapes, whos sending them, and why hes there. once hes in a coma, she visited him and made oliver leave because she didnt trust him to be there with jon. thats a lot of care and consideration for a guy who is kind of an ass, kept a lot of important info hidden from you, stepped over your boundaries at your house several times, and was a dick to your gf. it checks out that once her relationship to melanie gets stronger and melanie leaves the institute, she would also distance herself from that. georgie never had a responsibility to help jon, but she still did, so i dont see how it makes her a bad person for not wanting more involvement. she saw what it did to jon (he literally isnt human anymore) and she sees what its done to melanie. ofc she doesnt want to stir that pot, ofc she would rather live in relative safety. (also, anyone who was involved was serving an evil fear god in some facet, so involvement is far from the morally correct option)

essentially, i do think jon deserved the treatment he got from the others. they lacked a majority of the context the audience had, and saw jon in a completely different and much more toxic light.

Just finished season 4 of The Magnus Archives and... man...

(SPOILERS)

It makes me so incredibly depressed how badly Jon was mistreated by the rest of the cast from Season 2 on.

With the stalking, obviously it's wrong, right? And yeah, no, Tim is perfectly justified being pissed about it. But 1) John was right and something really was amiss, Sasha was replaced by the NotThem and 2) the paranoia is revealed in S4's finale to be of supernatural origin.

The Stranger's thing is causing paranoia. It worked on Jon.

But even that notwithstanding, Basira's hypocrisy drove me up a wall during Season 4. She's perfectly fine and dandy with Daisy killing people, violently, while abusing her status as a police officer. After Daisy gets pulled out of the coffin (by Jon, no less), she even takes to trying to convince Daisy to go Hunting.

But yeah, no, thats fine! That's not her fault! Violently hurting and killing people is fine! But Jon acting in the way he's driven to by the Watcher by... making people recount their trauma, no, that's a big no! But Jon! Jon you have to use your powers! Gertrude was so admirable doing what she had to to get what she needed no matter who she had to kill and/or offer up to entities on a silver platter for!

God I hated Basira at the end.

And then Georgie being so incredibly hostile out of nowhere.

I know it was part of isolating Jon and all but god that hit hard. Jon wasn't just going through a Personal Crisis(tm) he was facing the end of the world, and Georgie decides it's a great time to enact the "I don't owe you emotional labor uwu" thing.

It was a very interesting twist that the plan wasn't even necessarily Martin becoming an avatar of The Lonely. It was isolating Jon so that he could be marked by The Lonely. Interesting take. JMart fans rise up.

anyway i have many thoughts and feelings. Jon didn't deserve it lmao

[roppiepop]

for ask meme, ship that will make Chuck Dixon have a heart attack 🤭 Connor/Tim

Hdjdhshsshsh rip chick dixon ig but i love connortim!! So yes, big ship it 🥰🥰🥰🥰

1. I read up all of connor’s runs because i thought he looked interesting and was pleasantly surprised on like??? How much he and Tim team up. (Like, comparatively to other heroes- which is also chuck dixon’s doing but point is they’re set up to be pretty good friends) and each team up is just smooth enough it got my brainworms in overdrive.

2. It’s just a good friendship!!!! Tim has a lot of admiration for Connor’s skills, and helps often enough to be a solid support contact. Connor treats Tim like an equal despite their age gap, and never treats his problems with any condescension. I still find it really notable that tim used the one life-debt he got from lady shiva to spare connor during his fight with her. (It’s like, a super tim thing to do, but still a pretty big thing to give away chdjdnd)

Their early through points were a big emphasis on how they’re both carrying a legacy too!! Which is a nice common ground and was also a pretty common theme around connor’s relationship, but i also think it’s a nice contrast point with how their mentor’s clash with eachother, and an extra consideration since connor has a pretty great relationship with ollie.

It’s a sweet ship in a way that’s honestly almost too vanilla for my tastes HDDHSHSHSHS but like, i think thats also because they were friends before all of Tim’s life started deteriorating LMAOOOOO it would be fun to parse how they would both work now in their current iterations, particularly since right now half of Damian’s lazarus island roster are Tim’s friends lol

They seem like they would be the email penpal type, no? The one friend u keep ur fb acc for since they have no interest moving to another platform dhsbshssbs!! Also part of the easy low-maintenance friendship they have. A great base that has ample opportunity to go deeper, a lot of this ship can be working off possibilities but i think why not!!! They both deserve to have nice things!!!

3. I think some people get real weird about connors asexuality in terms of what it means for people’s attraction to him, but like??? Guy is canonically super hot, tim is definitely thirsting

[ectonurites]

Do you think Bernard knows Tim is robin

I don't think he actually does, but I think he's possibly been suspecting it, maybe even before Urban Legends #6 if we want to take all canon back into consideration again since we're in this Infinite Frontier era where that's like... a thing we can do

Like. going back to classic Bernard from that pre-War Games era when he was introduced, we know how deep into conspiracies he was... and how he didn't really think Robin was just one person

(Robin #127)

BUT an important thing to remember when looking at these panels is that this is from an era where Batman is in full Urban Legend mode, the only photos and videos are like 'cryptid spotted'-type unreliable stuff, so the conspiracies are bound to be... a bit wilder like this!

It's not until during War Games that Batman lets himself be caught on camera/seen at large by the general public while bringing Darla out of Louis E. Grieve to the paramedics because he wanted to try and save her life, which while it starts new different rumors does confirm he exists.

(Batman #631)

Bernard was... present for this.

He saw Tim leave to go investigate during the shooting...

(Batman #631)

and was was one of the people in the room when Bruce, Dick, & Cass come to the rescue and... casually talk with Tim a little bit

(Batman #631)

While that doesn't directly indicate 'Tim is Robin', it's definitely a... someone onlooking and paying attention to Tim specifically might notice him having some connection with the Bats. But for someone like Bernard who didn't subscribe to a single Robin theory anyways, I don't think he'd assume immediately that Tim was Robin or anything, just that there could be something going on.

A little later, Tim actually uses a variant of Bernard's theory from earlier to try to get Darla off his back for the whole 'she got brought back to life with magic by a guy who hates Tim so she has to kill Robin now' thing. We see him do an amount of digging online where he specifically mentions limiting himself to the resources an average person with an internet connection could find, and still manages to find enough Robin pics to make this thing work (plus him slipping in some fake Conner!Robin pics because plot)... but that means Bernard also definitely had access to this sort of stuff

(Robin #141)

And like, frankly, if you were already into some conspiracy theories about superheroes, and then those superheroes show up at your high school in the middle of a huge gang war... I feel like just digging deeper and deeper into that stuff is a pretty reasonable course of action! (Tim even uses a similar reasoning to that when explaining to Darla why he suddenly knows about this stuff)

So I feel like Bernard while doing that might also be missing his friend Tim because they got sent to different schools after Louis E. Grieve closed (also I've seen people point out Bernard's behavior back then could arguably indicate he had a thing for Tim at the time, so dare I say missing his crush). He might remember seeing Tim getting all buddy-buddy with the Bats in the chaos of it all, he might look at those same photos Tim was able to find online and have been like 'hey thats funny this Robin kinda looks like Tim', like I see that as within a realm of possibility.

Maybe it's a joke to himself of 'what if Tim was Robin oh my god' because it'd be both his crushes actually being the same person, but not something he ever takes that seriously

When he comes back in Urban Legends and drops this line it kinda further cements to me that after the gang war he kept following up on Robin info and news and stuff, and that he totally had a thing for Robin

(Batman: Urban Legends #6)

So like... Okay. Putting all of it together I just think that:

Bernard has had a crush on Tim for a while, since back at Louis E. Grieve

Bernard has also been obsessed with Robin & had a lowkey crush on him since after the Gang War when he realized Robins probably aren't as temporary as he once thought

Bernard spends time over the next few years keeping up with Robin info and missing Tim

Now in present day, Bernard goes on a date with Tim and gets kidnapped

Very shortly after, Robin comes to save him. That timing is at least a little bit suspicious

Bernard sees Tim up close & in person and then Robin up close & in person within a pretty short timeframe which... means the physical similarities would be apparent.

Bernard takes that shot in the dark and confesses his feelings about Tim to Robin during the fight

Tim comes to his door a few days later and jumps right into a conversation about the kidnapping and the feelings (that seems like it comes right off of what Bernard had said to Robin) and accepts a date with him

Bernard's brain is screaming at him that the 'Tim is Robin' theory is looking more and more likely every day but he still doesn't know for sure

[splendor-and-true]

Part two of the soulmate color au

Just a recap, you see the color of your soulmates emotions. When you make eye contact wirh your soulmate, you can see all colors. When your soulmate dies, the colors go away.

True stretched as she drifted awake. Feeling soft fabric shift against her skin as a fire crackled somewhere to the side. Odd. Wasnt she just outside? Her eyes snap open as she shoots up. She was sitting on a couch. A rather comfortable one at that. Eyes flying around the room, she realized she didnt know where she was, but oh! The colors.

She could see all of them. She had met her soulmate? Thats right, thats the only way it could happen. But... the only one she had met was that other operator. The one that looked like him.

Her attention snaps toward the door as it opens, watching as the tall man from the forest walks in. It wasnt a room she recognized, so it must be his place. He wouldnt take her back, would he?

“Oh! Youre awake. I was wondering when you would wake up. You slept for quite some time, but I suppose thats normal, running around in the cold like you were.” His voice wasnt like his at all. Quiet, calming and he could actually speak. As apposed to... what he did.

“Um... yeah. Right. That. So...” she paused, unsure if she should proceed. The possibility of him making her go back was still present in her mind. She could see brighter yellows for the time being, but that didnt mean anything. She always saw yellow. “The colors. You...?”

He glanced over her, watching her hands fiddle with the blanket a bit before responding. “Yes, me. I see them all too. I can understand if it’s a bit much to take in. You probably didn’t even know something like me existed until now-“

“No. I’ve been well aware. For some time now.” She turned her head away when the words slipped out. Why was she being so open with him. Just because he was her soulmate doesnt mean she should be so honest.

Silence ruled the room. She could feel his gaze on the back of her head, hands gripping at the blanket as she waited for his next words. This couldnt end well for her. Why had she told him that. He didnt need to know who she was running from. He didnt need to know what was going to happen to her.

“Well... I came to the logical conclusion you were running from something. Of course, I dont know what or who it was. You lost them when you crossed into my territory. They werent capable of crossing like you. But... I know you were afraid. I was afraid for you... I’m sure you could tell... but I would like to know more. I cant protect you from them very easily if I dont know who they are.” He reaches a hand out for hers, not taking it, but allowing it to hover. An offering that she could take or deny.

On one hand, she wanted to tell him. She felt the need to trust him. He was kind. He was being very considerate of her. Attentive. Nothing like him, even if he looked almost exactly like him. She let out a shaky sigh, turning her head to glance at him through her hair shyly, taking his hand slowly. “Okay.”

He smiled, allowing their hands to lower toward the blanket and rest on her folded legs. “You can start wherever you like and tell me as much as your comfortable with. I’ll do what I can with what I’m given.”

His smile is warm and genuine, backed up by the yellow being intensified in her vision. She wonders what color he was seeing a lot of... it was probably purple if her emotions were that simple. They never seemed to be for her.

“Well... I was fired. Thats why I was running in the snow. At night, of all times, of course. Fucker didnt even have the decency to let me think I would survive. Of course... that was probably the point... if Tim and Brian couldnt catch me then the cold would get me for them.” She ground her teeth, that twiggy bitch. If she could kill him, she would. It wasnt likely though.

She was dragged out of her little rage fest when she fekt his hand squeeze hers gently. “If you dont mind filling me in. Who fired you? Were you a proxy?”

She finds herself absentmindedly tracing her thumb over his hand. Finding a small reprive from her thoughts in the action. “Yes. I was. Im not anymore though, so no need to worry about stealing another operators property.”

He hums worriedly before asking again. “Who fired you?”

Her eyes lock on the flames. They werent very bright, despite her knowing flames should be a brilliant orangey yellow. He wasnt very cheerful anymore.

“I was a proxy for Slenderman.” She lets the silence that follows take over. Maybe he knew him. Maybe being his soulmate didnt mean much to him, like Slenderman’s soulmate didnt mean much to him. He had once admitted to having one at one point, though she knew he didnt care to have one. He had called such a thing a ‘waste of time.’ Maybe this one thought the same.

“Oh. Well, that is very interesting. I have to say, it’s rather impressive you got away, though very glad you did, soulmate. I can guarentee he wont be a problem as long as you stay here. He doesnt visit me. All buisness we have is handled in his territory, hes such a shut in.” He waves his hand around in the air, as if brushing the thought of him coming here away.

“Well... thats good.” She didnt know how to proceed. He basically told her that she was free to stay and as long as she did, she would be safe. He would keep her safe.

“Now... I’m no idiot, though I may pass for one on occassion, but I know how he handles his buisness. He is very dependant on fear. And I know being fired from his ‘employment’, if you will, means death. I can promise that wont happen here. Marked proxies of other operators cant even cross the boundaries without permission. Youre safe here.” She feels her hair being played with and looks his way. “I promise.”

She knows it may just be the bond, but he felt trustworthy. She wanted to trust him, so she did. Smiling back at him gently, her hand squeezing his back, gently. “I believe you.”

The yellows in her vision seemed to shine a bit, making her relax into the couch. He was happy. He genuinely enjoyed knowing she trusted him. That she was comfortable with him.

“So, soulmate, I dont belive I got your name.” She turns her head toward him fully, laughing softly as he perks up. Eyes widening as he realizes she was right.

“How rude of me. Im sorry, soulmate. You can call me Splendor.” She tilts her head at the name. It wasnt a surprise, its not like she was expecting a normal name, but it was something that she wouldnt have expected regardless.

“Splendor. Well, my name is True. Im glad to have finally met you.”

[bessmarvins]

For the ask game: 1, 3, & 37 :D

HELLO thank u!!!

1. celeb crush uhhhh i have had so many obsessions over the years but no current ones!! tbh i really can’t think of one rn i know one will probably come across my dash in .2 seconds and ill reblog and tag it but im blanking here. gonna give u a throwback crush and say tim mf riggins in the friday night lights series.

3. OKAY BITCH i just got riled up about something a girl posted on instagram lmao. she was in my sorority and is two years younger than me so she graduated from this yr. she just posted on her story about how people are posting throwbacks to graduation and she said “its truly making the class of 2020 SO SAD that we don’t get to have that same experience” and “if you’re gonna post them, maybe at least wish us well? say something nice? just a thought” like...LMAO bitch?! it’s not my fault coronavirus fucked us over! i haven’t even posted a throwback pic but i think thats so fucking stupid. like sorry your feelings are hurt but people can post whatever they want to reminisce on good times in their lives. we’re ALL missing out on shit because of quarantine, people have lost their jobs, people have lost their lives, people are risking their lives everyday, and your biggest concern is someone made you sad becauese you couldnt walk across a stage? yeah. i get it. it sucks. i’d be pissed too. but i’m also pissed that i pay over a thousand dollars a month in rent for an apartment im not living in right now and i cant see any of my friends lol. you got your diploma, you still graduated. it could be worse. my mom died less than 2 years ago and i was a wreck on sunday, you didnt see me post “could you guys maybe not post pics with your moms on mothers day? it makes me sad” because i’m not a selfish little bitch lol like just stay off social media if it affects you that much. we can’t tiptoe around every single person who follows us to make sure we dont hurt ur lil feelings over something we can’t control. you’ll be fine boo. like “dont post pics of you and your significant other bc im single” lol fuck off. i really am a very sensitive considerate person and i care about other people’s feelings but like??? come the fuck on get some perspective its instagram. would it REALLY make you less upset about the circumstances if they mention you in a post???

UPDATE after i typed all that: she posted another story saying if you post a throwback grad pic and dont mention the class of 2020 in it “you’re very mean.” lmao ok girl didn’t realize it was kindergarten you were graduating from.

37. yes. i was such a goodie two shoes back in the day but i did in fact go to the principals office and get lunch detention for 3 days for forging a signature on my agenda (which served as a hall pass) so i could go to class late while i was just  bullshitting with two of my friends in the bathroom lmao

#another post where alexis brings up her dead mom because i am actually nancy drew reincarnate

[dyketectivecomics]

Your opinion on Young Justice (cartoon)?

(possibly unpopular & especially critical opinion incoming. friendly reminder that I tag my hate with the tag “#whyj” bc I've seen someone cleverer than me using it and am totally using it from now on)

tl;dr - It’s overrated. (if u stan YJ & read any further past this and get Big Mad, its on u lmao. final warning, you might wanna turn away.)

-The character development is nearly nonexistent or relies too much on fans already having preconceived notions/understandings of their comic counterparts, and failing that, the fandom’s developed their own Idealized Fanon versions of all of them (which completely ignore the DECADES of comic canon to be pulled from in some cases). Which is another reason why i nope out of any work that takes YJ canon into consideration.

-The plot only runs cleanly as a binged drama, and even then, it’s not.... As Good As You Think. which was likely why it suffered in the first place since even seemingly ‘standalone’ episodes end up having some kind of overarching relevance. Watching it weekly and trying to connect what happened 6-8 episodes ago was a nightmare back in 2013, it’s a nightmare now, and its time we all admit it.

-The line-up is WACK and an INSULT to what Young Justice was. At least Teen Titans had the decency to follow ONE partial line-up that actually existed in the comics. The YJ team line-up is a poorly chosen one, and now the subsequent team-ups are all suffering for it.

-Aging issues too! De-aging Zatanna has always been my biggest pet peeve. but considering they thought it necessary to make Dick Grayson the Youngest of the crowd, aging up Kon & M’gann when they should be in Tim’s age group, it just further highlights why there’s such a disconnect between the stuff from comic canon that they’re suddenly trying to cram into their own, and what’s already been established, and why it’s just become a mess that fans who actually read & keep up with comics can’t connect with.

-that being said, it’s a cool way to make non-comics fans to understand some aspects of comics culture that i’ve been picking up on. Mostly due to the fact that these can be similar issues to be found with team books, especially when there might be Events that they may miss a key element of, or with the timeskips, which can be a necessary and SOMETIMES an interesting storytelling device (but only when its properly used. which it rarely is both in the show and in comics themselves)

-moving onto This Season all of the ‘representation’ that they’ve been trying to give comes across as strictly performative. (but this should be no surprise really, considering their #Feminist!!1!! moments from the previous season) They’ve introduced or hinted at development for side characters only to have them set aside for the main plot & come dangerously close to spreading the cast too thin by introducing so many characters, almost exponentially each season.

-they’re great at throwing around Ideas and then not.... completely following through with Satisfying payoff (bc most of the time when they DO follow through it’s just.... not Great Scoob)

-there COULD be brilliant character moments, but they all fall flat, because again, not a lot of meaningful follow up for those developments.

-its just.... a mess. I'm honestly trying to find one (1) good thing to say about it but I'm gonna end up talking in circles now. any one might be wondering ‘well gosh, randy, if you hate so much about it why are you watching it?’ and thats honestly a valid question. at this point i just want to see what’s happening plotwise with it because i AM invested there, but that’s honestly it. all signs are pointing to them introducing raven for SOME DAMN REASON in the 11th hour (i mean what the FUCK ELSE COULD ‘NEVERMORE’ BE A FUCKIN REFERENCE TO) but i think i might drop it right after that. or just binge it in one fucking go when they bring the 4th season around. I'm honestly still just so salty that they gave em a 4th fucking season. did y'all REALLY ask for this? i mean really? do we really deserve these barebones SCRAPS of rep and character development? no. we deserve better.

-also phil bourassa’s style is overdone, tiring, and not as Inspired as YJ fans want to pretend that it is. say what you will about the Timmverse style, at least it had panache & a timeless aesthetic for each cartoon. YJ/animated 52 universe movies just.... rely too much on being ‘wow! americanime!’

[mizmahlia]

Hey sis, so, umm, if you don't mind another ask, i am really curious about your take on Joker jr. aftermath in Batman Beyond: Return of The Joker universe? Id say some heavy angst 😉 but seriously, how did Bruce and Alfred, and especially Tim handle that? And/or staying in the same universe, did Bruce meet Tim again after the movie? And if so how did it go? Sorry if thats too incoherent ;) Have a nice day 💕

I’ll never mind asks like this, especially from you, Sis! 💗 

For the purposes of this post, I won’t touch too much on the similarities I found between this movie and the Batman Arkham Knight comics, but it’s definitely something I find interesting. Things would get reallyangsty if I started comparing the two. 😉

As it stands, this is gonna get pretty angsty, so I’m putting it under a cut.

*takes a deep breath*

Here we go.

Even as resilient as children can be, in the immediate aftermath of such horrible trauma, I find it hard to believe Tim would fully resemble who he was before he was kidnapped, and he would carry some effects from Joker and Harley’s torture with him for the rest of his life. The injuries, like any burns from electroshock or physical torture, depending on what they did to him, would have healed eventually. But I still think Tim would have been left with scars, despite being under Leslie Thompkin’s excellent care.

Take a quick peek at this, which was part of the video Joker showed to Batman:

There are lots of strange things on that table but for this, take note of the items that are circled.

The main reason I mentioned Tim having scars is we can see the cigarette and ash tray on the table, circled in red. I believe Joker may have used it to burn Tim, since neither he nor Harley smoke. That alone is horrific. But also take note of what’s circled in yellow. I’m guessing those are various mental health medications, which Harley would have access to. I won’t speculate what the medications were for or how they work, as I’m only familiar with some anti-depressants. But based on what happened to Jason Todd in the Arkham Knight comics, I think the meds could have been used to make Tim suggestable by screwing with his brain and body chemistry. When you can’t determine what’s real and what’s a hallucination, you may start believing whatever gets the torture to stop.

In order for Tim to cope with the psychological trauma, he would need more help than Dr. Thompkins can provide. She may recognize signs of anxiety and/or PTSD, but a medical doctor alone usually doesn’t treat those kinds of things. Bruce would have to get more people involved to help Tim work through everything.

Tim’s a smart kid. We all know that. As much as he would likely recognize he needs help? He’s still a kid. Even adults shouldn’t try to take on dealing with things like this on their own. The smartest thing Bruce did was end Tim’s career as a vigilante. We sometimes gripe about or call Bruce out on making unilateral decisions for this family, but this is one that needed to be made. And I like to think it’s one they all agreed with.

I can’t imagine what it would have been like for Tim once Bruce and Barbara got him out of there. I think it would have taken a few days for it to sink in that being back with them was actually real and not some twisted hallucination.  He would have stayed awake as long as possible to avoid nightmares, only sleeping when he collapsed from exhaustion or was given something to help him sleep. Bruce likely couldn’thave left Tim’s sight and probably slept as near to Bruce as possible.

And once Tim either found out or remembered he killed the Joker, it could trigger another whole set of emotions and complications. Guilt. Being ashamed. Anger. Feeling like a failure, that he let Bruce down again because being kidnapped wasn’t enough, but then he killed someone, too. From what I’ve read, it’s something people carry with them the rest of their lives in one way or another. Despite the Joker being so completely evil, hopefully Tim would take that into consideration. I like to think he would. It might make the burden of him taking a life somewhat easier to bear.

Whether or not Tim would have continued to have ties with Bruce and Alfred in the weeks and months after is tough to answer. I think it’s definitely possible. But I think Tim would have needed to leave Gotham to sort himself out. It’s not a city most of us would think to be a healthy place to work through such trauma, considering the near-constant crime and the sheer number of villains.

And seeing Bruce going out as Batman and not going along as Robin?

I think that would have been just as tough to handle as what the Joker put him through.

[dickgreyson]

I saw your post about Asian Tim and how fandoms perceptions form how they headcanon a character's race & I agree with you but I wanted to say I see way more people headcanoning Stephanie Brown as black which seems kinda iffy to me considering her pre new 52 background, & I noticed I never see anyone drawing or headcanoning Barbara Gordon, the other white Batgirl as black & I wonder if that has to do with her more privileged background as a upper middle class white girl in canon.

yeah i see steph and jason race bent as latine and black about 50/50 so i get your point. Since theyre both from low socio-economic backgrounds and rough, thats why people just do that implicitly. and im not saying people are doing it ON purpose to perpetrate racist stereotypes etc, like theyre trying to be more inclusive and diverse. and thats great but idk i just think people should be more considerate, so that they dont end up doing racist things by accident.

Ive seen babs drawn as black quite a bit!! but yeah! people usually draw her as white because she’s from a functional, well to do family, upper middle class like you said. so i dunno like, people just need to be careful of their underlying cultural biases imo

this is coming from a pasty jew tho like. i get all the benefits of white privilege for the most part and tbh really shouldnt be the one talking about this stuff, but i did just want to give my 2 cents and since i have a medium sized following, why not u know. but dont take what i say for gospel.

[theemeadelis]

Wynonna Earp Season 3 - a fans review

‪*Warning* - some no doubt unpopular opinions ahead. Here is a thread of some of my thoughts on this season of my fav show Wynonna Earp‬

1. Post-Pregnancy Wynonna: Love love love the emotional range that MelanieScrofano has been showcasing this season. Our girl on top can act!!! You go girl!!

‪2. Domestic Wayhaught: I won’t lie, I’ve been left a little disheartened by my fav two gay characters interactions this season. Not because of the fact there’s been less heat, or that there’s been less intimate sexy time shown. I actually think that is a good depiction of how a relationship develops over time. I personally have been with my wife 7 yrs now, and confirm the lust and heat of new relationship sex does eventually calm down into a more relaxed and loving state. Its nice. And its normal! No, the thing thats bugged me this season is that there seems to be a general feeling of “distance” between Wayhaught, for which I am going to place blame on Waverly for. She’s appeared to be more aloof, less thoughtful, and less considerate towards Nicole in general. Whether this is intentional by the writers or not, I don’t know. But if it is intentional, I hope the reasoning behind it comes to light eventually.‬

3. 🧛‍♂️ Doc: Another aspect of this season i have LOVED! The character development that has been invested into Doc has been phenominal & provided some of the best moments this season in‪ my humble opinion. That scene between Tim Rozon & MelanieScrofano when she first discovered he’d become a vampire, was pure tv gold, and both the writers and the actors deserve emmy’s for the gravity and emotion portrayed so beautifully in that moment 👏🏼‬

‪4. Jeremy & Robin: Yes! Yes yes yes! Finally, a cute & adorable male gay couple on tv. Varun Saranga & Justin Kelly have played this fledgling romance perfectly, & kudos to the show writers 4 telling this particular story with such diversity & warmth. We, the gays, thank you!‬

‪5. Now for the probable unpopular opinion - Bulshar just does not cut it as a “big bad” for me. Well, not so far anyway. I have yet to feel any gravity of presence from this supposed “baddest demon of them all”. I feel like Bobo has more severity and magnitude of doom about him ‬‪than Bulshar has so far created. It may be due to the lack of screen time that this seasons big evil has so far been give, or the ambiguity of his intentions and ultimate goal. I understand that his goal has been purposly been left up in the air so far, with the characters ‬themselves struggling to ascertain what Bulshar intends to actually do when he gains access to the garden of eden. But I still feel a little more interaction and screen time for this seasons big bad could have been called for, just to instill a greater sense of impending doom in ‪the fans of the show. I hope that the final two episodes really help to slot the wicked and malevolent intentions of #Bulshar into place, as I really do think he has the potential to be the shows most fearsome character to date.‬

‪And lastly...6. Dani Kind.... Yes!!! Oh hell yes!! Mercedes is such a great female character and I love that Emily and the writers decided to being her back into our Earper lives. DANI FUCKING KIND...you absolute legend! ‬

[patriotsnet]

How Many Republicans Have Left The Party Since Trump

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/how-many-republicans-have-left-the-party-since-trump/

How Many Republicans Have Left The Party Since Trump

Republicans Abandoning Gop Under Trump: Justin Amash Joins Growing List Of High

Donald Trump poses as the biggest threat to Republican Party

Representative Justin Amash announced on Thursday that he was “declaring my independence and leaving the Republican Party,” joining a growing list of lawmakers and pundits who have abandoned the GOP in the era of Donald Trump.

In an op-ed published by The Washington Post, Amash wrote that “modern politics is trapped in a partisan death spiral.” He encouraged Americans to join him in rejecting the country’s two-party system in order to “preserve liberty.”

“No matter your circumstance, I’m asking you to join me in rejecting the partisan loyalties and rhetoric that divide and dehumanize us. I’m asking you to believe that we can do better than this two-party system and to work toward it. If we continue to take America for granted, we will lose it,” he concluded.

Amash was the first Republican in Congress to call for impeachment proceedings against President Trump. He argued that special counsel Robert Mueller’s report showed Trump engaged in impeachable offenses while in office and that Attorney General William Barr knowingly misled the public about the key findings of the investigation.

In June, Amash stepped down from the House Freedom Caucus, a group of hardline Republicans who have become some of Trump’s biggest supporters. Amash was a founding member of the caucus.

President Trump reacted to Amash’s departure on Twitter, calling the Michigan lawmaker “one of the dumbest & most disloyal men in Congress.”

George Conway

Andy McKean

Independent Or Other Party To Republican

1941 Henrik Shipstead, while U.S. Senator from Minnesota, switched from the Farmer-Labor Party to the Republican Party.

2011 Joel Robideaux, while a Louisiana State Representative. He was initially elected as an independent.

2016 Blake Filippi, Rhode Island State Representative, switched from Independent to Republican; he had also been Republican previously until 2012.

Louisiana Voters Have Left The Republican Party Since Us Capitol Insurrection

BATON ROUGE, La. Party registration data from the secretary of states office reveals that roughly 7,800 Louisiana voters have left the Republican Party since the attack on the Capitol on January 6.

Dips in registrants for the party have been seen around the country. A report from The New York Times found more than 100,000 Republicans left the party in a number of states in the weeks after the U.S. Capitol riots, and Louisianas voter registration numbers mirror that trend.

Tanner Magee, the second-ranking Republican in the Louisiana House as its speaker pro tempore, cited the challenges national politics creates for public officials at home.

;Im not sure theres anything that I can do on a state level other than try to be the best legislator I can and do the best for the state of Louisiana, and hopefully, if you have some people out there that are more state-focused in their thoughts, that might mean something to them, said Magee.

The Republican Party lost 5,503 registrants in January, 1,709 in February and 598 in March. The three months of losses came after more than 12 months of steady increases in Republican registrations.

Democrats lost over 8,000 voter registrations in Louisiana between January and April. But unlike the Republican Party, Democrats saw losses in most months in 2020 and 2021.

Many of the rioters have said they swarmed the Capitol to try to prevent Congress from certifying an election that former President Donald Trump had disputed.

Don’t Miss: When Did Republicans And Democrats Switch Platforms

Democratic To Republican To Democratic

1854 – Francis Preston Blair, a supporter of presidents Andrew Jackson and Abraham Lincoln who became disillusioned with radical Reconstruction policies.

1854 – Francis Preston Blair Jr., Democratic nominee for Vice President of the United States in 1868. His family had been unwavering supporters of Republican Abraham Lincoln, but he opposed the post-war Reconstruction policy. He had earlier been a friend of Democrat Thomas Hart Benton, and like his father he had also been a member of the Free Soil Party.

1854 – Montgomery Blair, Postmaster General for President Lincoln. His family left the Democratic Party to join the Republican Party, but he re-joined the Democratic Party after the war.

1965 Arlen Specter, U.S. Senator from Pennsylvania . He was a Republican from 1965 to 2009 and a Democrat from 1951 to 1965 and 2009 to 2012.

2003 Johnny Ford, Alabama State Representative.

2008 Jim Bradford, South Dakota State Representative.

2009 Parker Griffith, former U.S. Representative from Alabama . Joined the Republican Party in 2009, but returned to the Democratic Party in 2014.

2012 Artur Davis, former U.S. Representative from Alabama . Joined the Republican Party in 2012, but returned to the Democratic Party in 2015.

2015 Joe Baca, former U.S. Representative from California . Joined the Republican Party in 2015, but returned to the Democratic Party in 2018.

Democratic To Other Party

1878 Hendrick Bradley Wright, U.S Representative from Pennsylvania , ran for reelection on the Greenback Party

1884 Absolom M. West, member of the Mississippi State Senate. He joined the Greenback Party and was their Vice Presidential candidate in 1884.

1996 Daniel Hamburg, former U.S. Representative to Green Party

1999 Audie Bock, California State Assemblywoman to Green Party

2000 Matt Gonzalez, Supervisor of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors to Green Party.

2002 Tim Penny, former U.S Representative from Minnesota to Independence Party of Minnesota

2005 Jim Lendall, Arkansas State Representative joined the Green Party.

2006 Bill Paparian, Mayor of Pasadena to Green Party.

2007 Cynthia McKinney, former U.S. Representative from Georgia to Green Party

2018 Shane Robinson, Maryland House Representative to .

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Gop Registration Drop After Capitol Attack Is Part Of Larger Trend

WASHINGTON In the weeks since the January riot at the Capitol, there has been a raft of stories about voters across the country leaving the Republican Party. Some of the numbers are eye-catching and suggest that the GOP may be shrinking before our eyes, but a closer look at the numbers over time shows that a larger change has been working its way through the party for some time.

In fact, when one takes into account shifts in the composition of the Democratic Party, the real story seems to be more about a deeper remaking of the nations two major political parties.

To be sure, the headlines from the last few weeks have been striking, with multiple states reporting large declines in Republican voter registrations.

In Pennsylvania, more than 12,000 Republicans dropped the “R” from their registrations in January. In North Carolina, the figure was close to 8,000. In Arizona the figure was about 9,200 through late-January. And in one county in California, San Diego, more than 4,700 Republicans left the party last month.

Those are sizable changes and they are much larger than the moves away from the Democrats in those places, but they come with some caveats. There are always some losses and gains in registrations for the Democrats and Republicans. Partisan identity can be fluid for a large chunk of the voters, and remember: just because a voter is registered with one party doesnt mean he or she always votes for its candidates.

Analysis: Exodus Of Republican Voters Tired Of Trump Could Push Party Further Right

By Jason Lange, Andy Sullivan

6 Min Read

WASHINGTON – A surge of Republicans quitting the party to renounce Donald Trump after the deadly Capitol riot could hurt moderates in next years primaries, adding a capstone to Trumps legacy as president: A potentially lasting rightward push on the party.

More than 68,000 Republicans have left the party in recent weeks in Florida, Pennsylvania and North Carolina, crucial states for Democrats hopes of keeping control of Congress in the mid-term elections in 2022, state voter data shows.

Thats about three times the roughly 23,000 Democrats who left their party in the same states over the same time period.

Compared to the Republicans who stayed put, those who fled were more concentrated in the left-leaning counties around big cities, which political analysts said suggested moderate Republicans could be leading the defections.

If the exodus is sustained, it will be to the advantage of candidates in the Republican Partys nomination contests who espouse views that play well with its Trump-supporting base but not with a broader electorate.

That could make it harder for Republican candidates to beat Democrats in November, said Morris Fiorina, a political scientist at Stanford University.

If these voters are leaving the party permanently, its really bad news for Republicans, Fiorina said.

U.S. elections are administered by state governments rather than by Washington.

Also Check: How Many States Are Controlled By Republicans

The Three Types Of Republicans Donald Trump Created

Never Trumpers, the unlikeliest group of RINOs and Trump loyalists are fighting for the future of the party.

Donald J. Trump departed the White House on Wednesday and left a Republican Party turned upside down.

Many Republicans tried not to let Mr. Trump change things, vowing never to vote for him or work in his administration and to publicly shame those who did. Others bit their tongues and looked past his erratic behavior and racial grievances, justifying their indifference by pointing to the conservative policies he championed.

And there were others comprising the most vocal segment of elected Republicans and a considerable portion of the voters who helped Mr. Trump win 10 million more votes than he did in 2016 who are still with him, defying every last-straw prediction about the end of the iron grip Trump has on the G.O.P.

Here is a taxonomy of the types of Republicans Mr. Trump leaves in his wake.

Insurrection As A Turning Point

How much sway does Trump still have over the Republican party? | The Bottom Line

Roughly 4,000 of those who left the Republican Party did so after the Jan. 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol in Washington An additional 69 Republicans left the party briefly, only to return during the same time period; they are not counted among the 6,670.

Since then, Republican leaders at the national level have chosen not to rebuke U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, who has suggested that the shootings at Sandy Hook and Parkland, Florida, were staged. Last month, only 10 out of 211 House Republicans voted to impeach Trump for incitement of insurrection.

These new Connecticut laws take effect on Oct. 1, from growing your own marijuana to new rules for employers »

Wharton, a former New Haven GOP chairman, said we probably wont know how many Connecticut Republicans make a permanent jump until things play out on the national level over the next few months.

We need to see national party first in terms of whos going to be taking charge and leading the effort to either a rebuild the party or continue with the message of the former president, he said. Im certain theres been multiple people in the U.S. Senate who will take note of this, and a couple of people in the U.S. House are developing a plan and an idea about rebuilding the Party.

The current numbers represent a quantum leap in terms of voters fleeing the GOP compared to the same period of time after the 2016 election, when Trump beat Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.

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Polling Data Shows Republican Party Affiliation Is Down As Independents Leaning Toward The Democratic Party Surge

Democrats have a nine-percentage-point affiliation advantage over Republicans at the moment.

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The GOP is losing its grip, according to the latest Gallup poll.;

The number of Americans identifying as Republicans or as independents who lean toward the GOP dropped to 40% in the first quarter of 2021, compared with the number of Democrats or independents leaning toward the Democratic party hitting 49%. And that nine-percentage-point lead is the greatest Democratic advantage that Gallup has measured since the fourth quarter of 2012, when former President Barack Obama was re-elected.;

Gallup routinely measures U.S. adults party identification and the political leanings of independents. The latest poll surveyed a random sample of 3,960 U.S. adults by phone between January and March of 2021. And while Democratic Party affiliation actually dropped by one point from the fourth quarter of 2020, to 30% where it has hovered for most of the past eight years the number of Americans identifying as independent rose to 44% from 38% last quarter. And this growing number of independents came at the expense of the Republican party, as 19% of independents said they lean Democrat, compared with 15% leaning Republican. Most of the remaining 11% of independents didnt swing either way.;

And several events have happened during those three months that could position the Democratic Party more favorably in voters eyes, the Gallup report noted.;

The Message Hyperpolarization Doesn’t Work

Theres a message in the voter numbers. Republicans still lead the state, with nearly 35% of the vote. But independents aren’t far behind with more than 32% … and growing.

What it shows is the hyperpolarization seen in politics between the two major parties has been pushing folks to the independent column, pollster Mike Noble, of OH Predictive Insights, told me.;The only issue is, more are leaving the Republican Party than the Democratic Party and thats because they have a brand issue.

Noble chalks the declining Republican ranks up to their Looney Tunes audit.

We know a majority of independent or moderate voters dont believe the election was stolen, he said. Yet there is this audit going on that is not very transparent or professionally run.;The GOP as a brand, I believe it is impacting them and the registration numbers reflect that.

I hear from those voters all the time, principled Republicans who wonder when the party of conservative values became the cult of Trump.

Count Gary, of Scottsdale, among the 23,559 Republicans who have fled the party during the first three months of the;year. He’s been a Republican since 1972.;In February, he re-registered as an independent. He emailed me in a few weeks ago, right after Fann hired a member of the Stop the Steal movement;to conduct her independent audit of Maricopa Countys election.

Reach Roberts at . Follow her on Twitter at .

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Republican To Other Party

1891 James Weaver, Republican turned Greenbacker, later was a founder of the Populist Party and ran for president on that party’s ticket in 1892.

1893 William M. Stewart, U.S. Senator from Nevada switched to the Silver Party

1895 John P. Jones, U.S. Senator from Nevada switched to Silver Party

1896 Wharton Barker switched to the Populist Party.

1934 Robert M. La Follette Jr., U.S. Senator from Wisconsin switched to the Progressive Party.

1937 Vito Marcantonio, U.S. Representative from New York switched to the Labor Party

2017 Brandon Phinney, New Hampshire State Representative switched to the Libertarian Party

2018 Sam McCann, Illinois State Senator switched to the Conservative Party.

2019-20 Justin Amash, US Congressman from Michigan, became Independent in July 2019, then affiliated with the Libertarian Party in April 2020

What Is Happening To The Republicans

In becoming the party of Trump, the G.O.P. confronts the kind of existential crisis that has destroyed American parties in;the past.

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But, for all the anxiety among Republican leaders, Goldwater prevailed, securing the nomination at the Partys convention, in San Francisco. In his speech to the delegates, he made no pretense of his ideological intent. Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice, he said. Moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue. Goldwaters crusade failed in November of 1964, when the incumbent, Lyndon Johnson, who had become President a year earlier, after Kennedys assassination, won in a landslide: four hundred and eighty-six to fifty-two votes in the Electoral College. Nevertheless, Goldwaters ascent was a harbinger of the future shape of the Republican Party. He represented an emerging nexus between white conservatives in the West and in the South, where five states voted for him over Johnson.

Shopping

agitates the community with ill-founded jealousies and false alarms, kindles the animosity of one part against another, foments occasionally riot and insurrection. It opens the door to foreign influence and corruption, which find a facilitated access to the government itself through the channels of party passions.

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Here Are 4 Prominent Right

Nicolle Wallace, former White House communications director under President George W. Bush and now one of the right-wing voices at the Democratic-leaning MSNBC, has not only been vehemently critical of President Donald Trumpshe has also voiced her displeasure with the Republican Party establishment for obediently rallying around the president, including House Speaker Paul Ryan . And there are other right-wingers as well who have been consistently critical of Trump, from journalist SE Cupp to GOP strategist Rick Wilson to Weekly Standard Publisher Bill Kristol. Although Cupp, Wilson and Kristol have all made it clear how much they dislike Trumps presidency, none of them have defected to the Libertarian Party or the Constitution Partyseemingly, they would rather fight to save the GOP from Trumpism than abandon it. But other long-time conservatives have expressed their disdain for Trump by leaving the Republican Party.;

Here are four prominent right-wing voices who have officially left the GOP in response to Trumps toxic effect on it.

1. George F. Will;

2. Max Boot;

3. Steve Schmidt

4. Joe Scarborough

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surveyss 015.

WHO ... was the last person you saw face to face? gram

... was the last person you texted or messaged online? Ummm, Harrison? We were talking about health.

... was the last person who asked you for a favour? Kile asked me to respond to him. I came so close to doing it, but we are almost at a week without talking.

... was the last person you lent something to? Uhhh, probably my sister.

... was the last person who told you a secret/confided in you? Em

... is the tallest person you know? Nick. I think hes 6′5?

... the shortest person you know? Goodness... I don’t know.

... your oldest (in years) friend? My mom?

... is the oldest (in length of time) friend? Alix. Since i was 5.

... is your youngest friend? I’m the youngest of my group... so ...

... is your newest friend? Probably my school friends

... is your closest relative? my sister? nephews? niece?

... was your favourite teacher? Mom looool. Or in college I really liked Dr. T

... was your least favourite teacher? ugh. shelly?

... did you spend the most time with when growing up? scott

... knows you the best? kile

... always beats you in games or sports? probably nathan lol

... who is the most creative of the people you know? Thats a great question. maybe my sister.

... is the funniest person you know? EM. definitely a goofball.

... is the most organised that you know? Em. 

... that you know has travelled the most? Nathan travels a lot, roger has gone to so many countries.

... has always been there for you? Hmm. 

... has given you the most personal gift? Mike

... has an annoying laugh? Marcia

... never forgets a birthday? sawyer

...,do you have the most in common with? I really don’t know. I don’t share a ton of the same interests with anyone.

...is the sportiest person you know? devin?

...was your last missed call? I think my sister

...did you last open your door for? mom

... has your heart? sigh. I don’t think it’s wanted right now.

... has your respect? people who are honest 

...do you share a special song with? i got my first kiss to the song “my best friend” by tim mcgraw

...do you miss right now? kile andrew. I miss who i thought he was. I miss talking to him all hours of the day. He felt like an extension of myself... almost like we shared this secret life where we could just .. exist together. without him, I just feel like I lost part of myself.

...last made you angry? the hose.

...did you last buy a gift for? I got my mom and my brother and kile something on my vaca.

...did you celebrate your last birthday with? So kile spoiled me like crazy. I spent the day with mom and then at night, em, nathan, devin, and I got tanked lol.

...have you gone to a concert with? sister, janelle, uhhhh nicole

...can make you laugh? It is easy to make me laugh

...has taught you how to do something? Uhhhhhh, thats a very good question. Probably kile teaching me how to do a stats problem? 

...has lost something of yours? Uhh, not sure.

...has broke your heart? kile

...has stood you up? I haven’t been stood up

WHAT Is your favourite colour? blue

Can you do that most your friends can’t? memorize really well, deny bread, sign, talk neuro

Is your birthday? next weekend

Colour eyes do you have? blue with navy and gray

Form of transport do you take to work/school? typically the car.

Music do you like to listen to in the car? Oh goodness anything that I put on spotify

Languages can you speak? english. some spanish and some asl but not fluently

Was the last thing you drank? diet coke

Was the last thing you ate? trail mix

Time did you wake up this morning? I wake up all hours lately and just stare out my window or at the ceiling. Eventually I just give up and get up for good. I think today was like 5am

Colour are your bedroom walls? They’re kind of a mauve-y brown-y purple

Drink do you usually order when eating out? sometimes, not always.

Food can you cook well? I’m a great baker but I don’t cook all that often. Or rather I should say I am insecure about my cooking.

Animals have you had for a pet? Oh goodness. Dogs, cats, bunnies, chickens, turtles, pigs, horses, birds, parrots, fish, flying squirrels, lizards, ...

Are your initials? dls

Kind of activities do you like to do on the weekends? I like to play games, go on drives, see the world, see friends, window shop, idk

Movie do you know line by line? father of the bride, finding nemo, sleepless in seattle, youve got mail, something borrowed, how to lose a guy in ten days, made of honor, while you were sleeping

Band(s) have you seen in concert? I don’t remember all of them. relient k was one.

Do you buy/get to treat yourself? food or clothes lol.

Colours your phone cover? right now it’s like a teal color. 

Part of the world would you love to visit? switzerland. europe. 

Question do you dislike being asked? when are you going to be married.

Subject were you good at in school? science

Careers do your parents have? mom is a manager of a store and I’m not entirely sure of what dad does. I think he owns a company.

Brand of clothing do you buy most often? probably ON

Chocolate bar is your favourite? right now, probably uhmmm 

TV show have you watched every series of? tbh I couldn’t tell you

Radio station do you listen to the most? 99.5, 98.3, 103.5, 96.3, 

Podcasts are you subscribed to? I’m not the biggest fan of podcasts

Is your favourite dessert? anything mega rich

Can’t you do that most around you seem to? roller blade, skateboard, ice skate

Are 5 qualities you value in a friend? honesty, loyalty, kindness, consideration, humor

Are 5 qualities you value in a partner? honesty, loyalty, kindness, slow-tempered, loving

Size pizza do you usually order? goodness I havent had pizza in so long.

Cuisine do you like to order or cook? I suppose right now mexican

Colour(s) dominate your wardrobe? Black. I want to wear more colors I think I refrain because of drawing attention to my figure.

Toothpaste brand do you use? I think right now it’s crest!

Sounds can you hear right now? one of the most dear movies to me.. Serendipity. I think about this movie all the time in my current situation. Maybe.

Is the weather like today? Steamy. But I have been very comfortable in the AC tbh

Are your plans for tomorrow? I’m going to sleep in. Relax. Spend the day reading in the pool, trying to not think about my situation. 

WHERE Do you keep your phone when not using it? I used to always keep it on me, but now I’m trying to get used to leaving it in the other room or just leaving it at home so I stop obsessing.

Were you born? Palos.

Do you go to unwind? On a drive

Is your best friend right now? I’m not sure where Kile is anymore. Emily is likely asleep. Nathan’s probably out lol

Can you go nearby to have a good time? Tbh, I can be alone and have a great time.

Is the nearest restaurant? like 3-4 blocks away.

Is the nearest beach? There is lake michigan, indiana dunes, or lakes. depends what you fancy.

Did you meet your closest friend? kile and I met on CM. em and I met thru Alix. 

Did you go for your last vacation? Pigeon Forge, TN.

Is the nearest mall or superstore? mall would be orland. Superstore would probably be like a walmart or a target. 

Did you last get an injury? I screwed up my foot somehow so I’m trying to nurse that.

Is the most extravagant place you’ve stayed at? Hmm, probably when my sister would travel and we would stay in these exotic hotels.

Do most the local kids play? If you mean kids like 21 ish, there are some great local bars on Oak Park Ave

Have you been with your family? I mean, I’m going to need more detail in the question

Did you spend Christmas last year? home. Then the boys called for us to come over and see their new toys lol

Did your parents grow up? they grew up in roseland which is now a chicago ghetto lol

Did you buy the shoes you’re wearing? barefoot at the moment.

Would you like to go right now if you could? if I can be totally transparent, I would give anything to go sit on a park bench next to kile. 

Do you miss the most from your childhood? The innocent beliefs. the lack of trauma. 

Is the best restaurant you know? I donno, I’m fairly easy-going about restaurants.

Will you never go again as it was so bad? lol this local burrito joint

WHEN ...was your last vacation? two weeks ago. 

...did you graduate? this may. I really thought it would have been more exciting, but it was such a tragic time. 

...did you have your first kiss? on my 16th birthday

...did you learn how to swim? young. like 5-6? 

...did you have your first relationship? uhhhh 19.

...do you feel the most at peace? on a drive.

...do you usually fall asleep? I have no idea. I’m all over the place these days.

...do you usually wake up? thats a wide range of times.

...did you last watch a movie? i’ve been watching movies in bed all day. 

...did you last go to a party? yesterday

...did you last cry? today

...did you laugh really hard? I laughed yesterday. 

...did you buy something pricey last? my vacation I suppose. I really need to get new gym shoes because it has been a few years but man they are pricey.

...did you have an argument last? I haven’t argued this past week. I don’t know if I’m just worn down or if I have lost the fight in me? I’m not entirely sure.

...did you last have a sick day? donno really.

...did you last recieve a hug? I got about 400 hugs from the kids yesterday lol

...when is your best friend’s birthday? aug 16. april 20. march 13.

...did you learn how to drive? I refused to drive as long as possible. mom tricked me into drivers ed when I was about 18.

...did you last receive a surprise? umm.. I really don’t know.

HOW Many pets do you have? Two.

Many houses have you lived in? one

Often do you shower? once per day usually.

Well can you cook? I am mediocre at the moment.

Many close friends do you have? just gets smaller and smaller.

Many Brothers or sisters do you have? one sister two brothers

Often do you go swimming? I WISH all the time. tomorrow will be my first time in a long time. it’s hardly swimming cus its a small pool, but still.

Many times have you texted today? I’ve hardly touched messaging apps. I’m really behind on my correspondence. 

Do you like your toast (colour, topping)? I used to love it toasted with light butter and then pb

Do you like your tea and/or coffee? no coffee. I’m not huge on tea.

Do you like to celebrate your birthdays? typically the way I spent it last year. this year was supposed to be with Kile. For some reason I just glanced at the calendar and it had our weekend trip for march all highlighted. 

Are you feeling today? I’m ok. I mean, I’m not but it’s closer to being OK.

Serious are you about your career goals? I’m passionate about it.

Many rooms are in your house? 11 I suppose.

Many bedrooms in your house? 4.

Did you do in your school exams? I excelled at them. 

Close do you live to your parents? very close to mom. thousands of miles from dad.

Close do you live to your siblings? My brother is around the block. another brother is maybe 30 mins away. my sister is thousands of miles.

Sensitive to criticism are you? pretty sensitive. its a fault.

Motivated to make changes are you? quite motivated.

Creative are you (1-10): 5

Hard working are you (1-10): 11.

Sporty are you (1-10): 1

Musical are you (1-10): 0

Do you prefer your eggs? uhh, moms scrambled, over easy, or sunny side up.

Often do you go out to eat? like once a month.

Would your best friend describe you? I don’t really know. probably studious, the caregiver, patient

Can someone cheer you up if you’re sad? if they know me well enough. 

Often do you meet up with your friends? like 2-3x a month

Important is religion to you? faith is important.

Old were you when you first stayed overnight from home? like 5

Old were you when you got your first pet? I was an infant

Tech savvy are you? decent. not great but decent.

Do you show you appreciate those you care for? I learn what matters to them and I support their dreams obsessively. I research things that matter, I ask questions, I write cards, buy gifts, and just tell them.

Often do you cut your hair? I need to cut it. asap.

Often do you paint your nails? I’ve stopped painting my hands since graduation. I just .. i cant.

Many countries have you visited? 1

Boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? haha

WHY  ... did you choose your username? because it’s one I use

... did you take this survey? it seemed to have some decent questions. I’m trying to work through stuff regarding kile right now, so it had some opportunities. right now I’m wondering if he still reads these. It doesn’t tell me if someone does, only if they like or comment on it. what does it matter, I don’t know. my mind just swirls.

... did you choose the career you did? I had a professor who showed me a video during a neuro class on aphasia and it was a CLICK moment.

...did you last leave the house? running errands for the party

...did you last give up on something? I am in the process. I don’t want to. my whole body aches and screams not to let go, but my brain is recognizing it is time.

...did you search the last thing you searched? i was converting celsius to fahrenheit 

...would you give up on someone completely? I think sometimes I have this mindset that I can help. I can support. I can enhance your situation. I want to help you grow. I want to be there for it all. I think the reality is I am learning that not everyone wants that. I don’t know that i’m helping as much as I hope, and it destroys me to think I was maybe making his life worse. 

IF You could live in any country which would you choose? switzerland

You could choose any animal as a pet which one? cat or dog

You could be famous for something what would you like? I don’t know that I would want to be.

You are sad, how do you combat it? Right now it is sitting with the feelings of loss. I’m trying not to just blow over it or pretend it isn’t real, but to just let it suck as bad as it sucks. I don’t know. I don’t have any magic way of moving through the sadness.

You can drive when did you learn? when I was 18

You could have any job what would it be? I would want to be somewhere with little human interaction tbh.

You could go anywhere for a vacation where would you go? europe. 

You could eat anything right now what would it be? nothing. loss of appetite.

You wrote a book what genre/topic would it be? maybe a book of poetry. or a biography.

You had a theme song what would it be? that would take me a while to come up with.

You could meet any band/singer in person which one? harry connick jr.

You could act in any movie which would it be? I’m not sure I would

You get married what venue would you like? i think I would want to elope 

If you have kids do you have names picked out? I have names I like on a list.

Could describe your dream home what would it be like? farm. land. big ole porch with comfy furniture. lots of trees. a dreamy bedroom. i really want a window seat. You could go back in time what would you change? for the longest time I wished I could have gone to see John immediately. However, had I done that I would have left here and moved there and I wouldnt have the life I do now. So I guess maybe i dont really know.

Could use 3 words to describe your childhood which ones? the memories without my dad were extremely pleasant. My mom tried her best.

Could get the answer to any question which question would you choose? right now I’d want to know why Kile kept things from me. Like how do you wake up everyday OK with knowing I’m unaware. I wanna know what the plan was.. was he planning to meet me and just secretly break up with her? was he ever planning to move to me? Why did he never fight for me? how was I so easy to let go of? why wouldn’t he just break off what he was was “breaking off” to keep me? what was the alternative? keep us both?? why couldn’t he see how he was hurting me? why didn’t it matter? how does he just let go of me so simply and not c ---- but honestly I’ll never get those answers. I would probably be better off asking will i have my own family one day

You could have an endless supply of something what would it be? Money, because of course.

CAN ... you ride a bike? yes

... you ski? i want to learn

... you bake a cake? oh yes.

... you sing well? mediocre

... you do your own taxes? badly

... you remain calm in a crisis? extremely calm.

... you do first aid? like... bandaid level yes.

... remember your best friend’s family members’ names? almost entirely.

... you fire a gun? yes

... your parents drive? Yes

...your best friend dance well? probably not.

...you make people laugh easily? mom, yes lol

...stand up for yourself? if i get pushed enough, yes.

...you do a martial art? Nope

WOULD You like to learn a new language? absolutely.

Save the life of a stray animal? Absolutely.

Know what to do if there was a hurricane? sure, but it would be very very very very unlikely for me to need to utilize that sort of skill set considering I live in the middle of a loooooooot of land. Not coastal at all.

Try a new cuisine? yes

Risk your life for anyone? Yes.

You like to get back in touch with someone? oh boy. how i wish.

You drive in the middle of the night to get a stuck friend? Ina heartbeat.

You Know how to perform CPR? I mean.. vaguely.

You likely win in a game of chess? I promise you no.

You stop talking for a day for $100? happily.