#and like I mean this with nothing against mikey I am happy he’s happy but it’s so middle aged straight white upper middle class married man | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aplaceinthedark · 11 months ago

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chapter twelve: PATH that I FOLLOW

Summary: Down in the Shenandoah Valley, there lay a court consisting of the Grim, the Drowned, the Witch and the Watcher.

CW: supernatural themes, mentions of vehicular accident, mentions of motorcycle accident, mentions of religious sacrifice, ptsd, bodily injury, body horror, graphic violence, angst, blood, major character death

Every chapter will have a different cw section. This is Bad Omens rpf, so obviously I don't know all the little nuances of the members or their family members.

A/N: Some things are color-coded. If any of you are colorblind lemme know.

YOU CAN'T SAVE HIM.

YOU ARE WEAK.

YOU ARE EMPTY.

I tried to scream as Michael’s eyes pleaded. For me? For God? For mercy? I could never tell. How did Jolly’s song go?

We asked Him if He would take us back, He would surely tell us no.

“Mikey, please, hold on,” I pleaded. It felt like I had been saying those words for hours as I tried to scrape my way forward, but either my fingers couldn’t find purchase, or with every inch I gained, another inch of pavement was created.

My head dipped, forehead pressed against the searing hot street. Tears streamed down my face. Was this my own personal Hell? Some kind of divine retribution from a god I stopped believing in when this scene actually happened? Could I not be happy for just once?

I tried summoning some strength using that momentary burst of anger, pushing myself up and shoving myself further. But when I looked up, I could see that I barely moved again. Michael’s eyes seemed to laugh at me, rather than beg for me.

I let out a sob. “Please…”

YOU CAN'T SAVE HIM.

YOU ARE WEAK.

YOU ARE EMPTY.

“Oh, shut up.”

My head shot up at the sound of the familiar voice. “Nick?” I asked, almost a whimper.

“Something like that. It’s kind of complicated, but if it makes it easier, then we’ll just say that’s what I am,” he said, sitting next to me. His clothes were intact, hair thrown up into a messy bun. He looked just like he did when he explained this whole mess to me.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“The leader of the cult cast a malediction on you, attempting to Hollow you out. I’m guessing he was trying to put the Black Stag in someone since his first attempt didn’t work out,” he said.

“Am I… Am I dying?”

“No, no you aren’t dying. But if you give in to despair, It wins, and we’ll lose you.” He looked up at Michael. “Do you really live with this guilt all the time?”

“N-Nick—“

Nick waved his hand, and the horrific scene around us froze. No city sounds. That’s when I realized I couldn’t feel the pain in my side, and felt energized. I pushed myself up to where I could sit.

“Can I wake up now?” I asked.

“No, you’re not dreaming… not really. I’m working on that, but it’s gonna… it’s gonna take a lot. The Black Stag has to take a Vessel, so It’s using the cult leader instead.”

“What do you mean—“

“It wasn’t your fault, y’know?” he said. Nick looked from Michael to behind me, and then to me, his green eyes piercing me. “You feel guilty for not being there for your brother, or for your parents, but there was nothing you could do. I know how that feels, not being there for your best friend. Believe me, it nearly killed me."

“But unlike me back then, you have friends now that can help you, if you let them.”

“Your friend tried to kill me,” I stated flatly.

Nick’s mouth quirked to the side. “Did he now? We’ll have to kick his ass for that later.” He sighed. “Not long now.”

I tilted my head. “Not long for what?”

Nick stood up. “Promise me you’ll forgive yourself? Stress is a killer.”

“What do you mean? Where are you—?”

He held out his hand, and pulled me up when I took it. His hand moved up my arm and curled around the back of my neck, pulling me for a breath-taking kiss. He parted, resting his forehead against mine. “I know we haven’t known each other for very long, but I want you to know that I love you.”

Before I could ask him what was going on, I felt him evaporate from my grasp. Still dazed from his kiss, I slowly opened my eyes, and found that I was no longer on that street near Virginia Beach. I was back in the cold hollow, lying in the dirt.

I started pushing myself up, pain settling back into my bones as I remembered that yeah, I definitely have several broken bones. That’s when I heard something fall to the ground in front of me.

“Nick?”

Noah’s voice was like a bucket of ice water being thrown into my face. I managed to get up, stumbling my way over to where he and Nick were—

Why was Nick on the ground?

“Nick?” I asked, falling to my knees next to him. “Nick?!” I shakily pressed fingers to his neck, placed a hand on his chest. Nothing.

“Nick!”

Nick was dead.

I couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t real. Nick couldn’t be gone; he just pulled me out of a nightmare.

“No no no no no no no—“ I stumbled over my words. This couldn’t be happening. This was all another nightmare. Another malewhatever Nick had called it.

Then Noah was beside me, shoulder to shoulder, and he was gripping Nick’s shoulders and shaking him, shouting his name and crying. Folio and Jolly stood only a few steps away, the Drowned supporting the Grim from collapsing.

And I was just sitting there, numbly staring down at another lifeless body. “…you have a little piece of me in you, and I love you.”

I had fallen unconscious shortly after Michael died, and I wasn’t there when my parents died. Processing their deaths had been… delayed, for a lack of a better word. And when it was time to truly grieve, to put them in the ground and then move on with life somehow, I did nothing but swallow it down and run off.

Nick? There was no unconsciousness to hide away in. No run-down house in the middle of the woods on a sparsely inhabited mountain to run away to. Here was death, staring me right in the face as it spit on me, and I was going to stand there and take it whether I wanted to or not.

No, this was reality.

That’s when I started screaming. Screaming with every atom in my body as I poured every emotion on the bad end of the spectrum into it. I screamed into the void beyond as if Nick could hear me from there:

“I can't lose you too!”

I barely felt the hand on my back; barely felt the tears that streamed down my face. I couldn’t feel the cold that permeated the hollow, nor the dirt and blood that coated my skin.

“Please, I’ll do anything; give anything, just bring him back. Please!” I pleaded with anything that could hear me, not caring if it was the Woods or the Dark or whatever who answered. “GIVE HIM BACK!”

All I could feel was the invisible string that bound us. That string that we strengthened last night when we came together. That string that first bound us when he healed my wounds. That little red string around my wrist, still there despite the hell it went through, paled in comparison to that golden thread.

I pressed my lips to Nick’s, like I felt compelled to. Like this was some stupid fairy tale and true love's kiss could bring him back. I couldn’t care less that Noah was also there, his forehead pressed to the back of my shoulder, or if I was being watched and judged by Folio and Jolly.

His lips were still warm. I love you, too, I said to the ether, wishing I could’ve told him to his face.

All of a sudden, my stomach lurched, like I was going to throw up. I tried pulling away, but it was like I was magnetized to Nick. A warmth spread from me, up my body, and into my mouth. Like I was a conduit for something greater.

"I had to use some of my own energy…"

“You have a little piece of me in you...”

When I was finally able to pull away, I looked down at his face, his cheeks coated with my tears, and Noah’s as well from the sounds coming from beside. I watched as a warm golden light lit up the veins in Nick’s face, traveling up until they lit his iris’.

As the golden light quickly faded from his eyes, I felt a soft thud below my hand. And then another.

It was like someone took shock pedals to his chest. He took a gasping, deep breath, his back arching violently. With a shout, Noah backed away, but still stayed close to Nick’s side.

Nick settled back down, his chest rising and falling. His green eyes searched until they found mine, wide with disbelief.

And with a groan, he gasped, “Thanks for… holding on… to that…”

My mouth dropped open.

Suddenly, a large something fell on top of us, and it wasn't until I heard the hysterical laughter - or sobbing, I couldn't tell - that I realized it was Noah wrapping his arms around us. Multiple sounds joined him, and I realized I was in the middle of a supernatural dog-pile. Quite literally, when I felt fur shift to warm skin.

“Geroff… can't breathe!” Nick shouted.

The others pulled back, if only by a little bit, but I didn’t lift my head from Nick’s shoulder, even when Nick slowly sat up. It wasn’t until he lifted me off him did I let it settle in that Nick was here with me; he was alive.

I hadn’t let myself believe it until he smiled at me and pushed my damp hair away from my face. Couldn’t believe that I had actually saved someone until he opened his mouth and said two words: “Thanks, Tay.”

And I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long while, something akin to true happiness. And it caused me to burst into tears again. Nick tucked me into his side, trying to soothe me.

Folio was the first to break the silence. “We gotta get out of here,” he said, nudging the body of a headless corpse with his bare foot.

Nick grimaced. “Gimme a second, I need to recuperate.”

Once again, I had forgotten about my broken bones. “Yeah, some of us are only human,” I joked. Nick squeezed my waist, which earned him a small yelp of pain.

As Nick sat on the ground amongst the roots of a great oak tree, leaning back against it for support, I looked over at Noah, who was looking at me instead of Nick. When our eyes met, which I had just realized were almost identical to mine, he nodded.

THANK YOU.

I held his stare for a moment before I mentally shrugged. You owe me.

The only response I got was the sound of low laughter rumbling in my head.

The aftermath of the night was shockingly unremarkable. Jolly, Folio, and Noah did most of the heavy lifting, moving the bodies to a wide part of the river, where the water would carry them off to various silt-covered crevasses. There was nothing left off the cult leader, whoever he was, thanks to Nick. Eventually his body had rotted away to wet dust, so he was left on the forest floor.

Folio and Noah helped me and Nick back to my house, where Folio helped us indoors - Noah’s permission had been revoked, but luckily Nick didn’t know that he had been allowed in in the first place. I’m pretty sure I slept the entire day away.

When I woke up, it was to an empty room save for Jerry, curled up into a black and white cinnamon roll on one of my pillows. I had panicked, anxiety constricting my rib cage to a point of pain. Folio came in and assured me that Nick was outside, sucking a few trees dry of their essence. In the meantime, I was forced onto bed rest with only some pain killers and water to help.

As I stared up at the ceiling of my room, Lydia having come in and curled up next to me, I couldn’t help but notice something felt off about me. Not just the broken bones and the bruises, nor the fact that Nick must’ve changed me into clean clothes. It felt like something was missing from me. Like in the nightmare, the Black Stag had been slightly successful and had hollowed out a tiny bit of me.

It wasn’t until later, when I had woken up from another long rest did I realize what it was. I had woken up with no pain, my head resting on Nick’s thigh as he drew something on a tablet. He gave me a small smile when he saw I was awake. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah… Are you the one to thank for that?” I groggily asked, rubbing my eyes to free them of sleep. I hesitantly stretched, but was only met with the faint echo of pain. Like the last remnants of a bruise that you press to feel if something was still there.

“It’s the least I could do for what you did,” he said, putting down the tablet.

“Yeah, about that… Did you…” I trailed off, trying to put into words what I was thinking, “When I was put under that spell, did you try to communicate with me?”

“What do you mean?”

“You were in my nightmare… well after a while you were. You weren't in the bad part,” I hastily said. “But you were there, and you helped me break out of the trance I was in.”

“The malediction?”

“Yeah, that’s what you called it.”

“I can’t communicate through dreams, so I don’t think that was me. Maybe it was your subconscious?” He suggested. He lazily played with a lock of my hair, twisting it loosely around his finger.

“But… It didn’t feel like it! It felt like you were really there,” I said.

We were silent for a few moments, unable to describe what the feeling between us was. Why did it feel so awkward all of a sudden?

He rubbed the red string attached to my wrist between his thumbs. “Was this how you found me?” he asked.

“Yeah, I casted my first spell,” I said, unable to keep the pride out of my voice. I sounded like a small kid showing their parent their first preschool project.

His thumbs stilled. “Oh… That’s what it was,” he said, more to himself.

“Nick, for the love of all that is unholy, we’ve gone through too much for you to go back to being cryptic ‘n’ shit—“

“The ‘Nick’ in your nightmare,” he interrupted me, “was the bit of energy you kept.”

“I kept what now?”

“When I healed your concussion, I had to use my inner power to do it. It’s like… using a little bit of your soul instead of using the Woods. I gave you a piece of myself, and you held onto it until you used it to bring me back.”

“…So that’s how I was able to do your magick? How I talked to you?” I asked. He nodded. I sat up. “Is that why I can’t feel you anymore?”

I already knew the answer before he slowly nodded after a while. The emptiness I felt was the absence of Nick.

“Does that change how you feel about me?” he asked.

I stared up into hopeful blue-gray eyes, and I knew my answer. “You tell me,” I said, caressing his face.

His answer was on his lips.

As for the other members of the Court, Folio and Jolly concerned themselves more with clearing out the woods of any more cultists, which thankfully there were none. They would occasionally visit, whether it was at night or when it rained.

Noah wasn’t as frequent a visitor, though it wasn’t due to jealousy. Nick found out what Noah had done to me when he was gone, and they got into it badly. It took over a month for them to get over it. A bad month, since that was the month of getting Granny’s funeral and assets wrapped up.

After the wake, when Nick was conversing with his family, I had slipped away. During the burial, when the pastor was talking, I felt a pair of familiar eyes peering from the treeline a ways off. The familiar feeling reminded me of my first night here, when I was scared and unprepared for what was out there.

“Come to pay your respects?” I asked the silent spot.

CAN’T REALLY GO OUT THERE AND DO IT PROPERLY, NOW CAN I?

“No, I guess not,” I said, peering over my shoulder. Luckily no one was looking over this way.

IS HE DOING BETTER?

“Yeah, he’s getting there,” I said, slipping my hands into the pockets of my black jeans. Autumn had come to Appalachia, and my black blazer had barely kept off the slight chill. It was weird to think that a month ago, I was practically boiling alive.

Noah and I had forgiven each other before Nick had. I had kept up the offerings, but had changed from apple to carrots for a week straight.

“How's the clean-up going? No more cultists?” I asked.

HAVEN’T SEEN ANY. WE’VE SCARED MOST OF THEM OFF, IF THERE ARE ANY MORE OUT THERE.

“I haven’t heard missing people reports of the ones you guys killed,” I said. Granny’s death and the restaurant guy’s death were the only ones that were being talked about, asking with the mystery of where the killers might be.

POLICE ARE PROBABLY COVERING IT UP.

I nodded, peering over my shoulder again. Nick was looking at me. When he saw that I was looking, he gave me a small smile before turning back to his family.

“What are you gonna do now?” I asked Noah.

There was a rustling sound amongst the trees, and for some reason I imagined him shrugging his shoulders.

SAME THINGS WE NORMALLY DO, I GUESS. HUNT THE PATHS, TERRORIZE LOST HIKERS—

“That’s so not funny, Davis,” I said.

SERIOUSLY, I DON’T USE THAT NAME ANYMORE. IT DIED WHEN I DIED.

“Then stop calling me little rabbit,” I said. I could feel him rolling his eyes, so I sighed, “I gotta call you something besides Noah when I’m pissed at you.”

SEBASTIAN.

“But that’s too long—“

“Who’re you talking to?”

I looked behind me. Nick raised an eyebrow at the treeline.

“No one, really,” I said. I could hear some branches in the woods snapping, and I wondered if I made Noah grumpy. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Nick said.

I looped my arm through his as we walked back through the cemetery. With one last parting glance, I shot back to the treeline, Don’t be a stranger for so long.

BE SEEING YOU REAL SOON, LITTLE RABBIT.

One night, about a week after the funeral, I was woken up by a knock at the front door. I panicked for a few seconds, grabbing my phone out of habit, when it buzzed in my hand.

Nick 😺🍌: I’m sorry if I woke you. Let me in please?

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t… I couldn’t sleep in that house by myself,” he sighed as I wrapped my arms around him. I could see his eyes were rimmed with red.

“I know, Nick. I know,” I said reassuringly.

“Can I… stay here? Until the house gets sorted out?” he asked.

“Stay as long as you like,” I said, sighing into his neck. “The cats are already here, anyways.”

He chuckled, the puffs of his breath tickling my scalp. “Thank you.”

We slid into my bed, and he rested his head on my collarbone. “When we were kids, she used to tell us these stories to help us go to sleep,” he said.

“Why don’t you tell me one, if it’ll make you feel better?” I asked.

“Well, if you insist,” he said. And he started telling me this story…

Tysm for reading! Final part coming soon!

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nani-nonny · 1 year ago

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Setting Sun: Part 4

Welcome to Setting Sun, a rottmnt vote-based short story where readers dictate how the story continues on. Your goal as the reader is to choose the best option to 1. Continue the story and 2. Learn what you can about the “lore” behind this story.

Every update has a week to vote for how the next part of the story starts. Be cautious in making your decision! Your decision could very well end the story before you learn anything or before the “planned” happy ending.

The readers only get one (1) chance to change a voted decision if you get a “bad” ending(or have some unanswered questions). So remember to be cautious when voting (nothing spooky/gory happens so no stress).

Links to Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

Readers chose: How is he looking at his counterpart?

Mikey’s elder reflection placed him back on the ground with a squeeze of his upper arms.

The elder smiles and exclaims, “Yes! You’re me!” And I’m you! I’m Mikey, you’re Mikey, we’re Mikey!”

The Leo look-alike chimes in from his short distance away from the two Mikeys, a nervous grin plastered on his aged face, “We’re all Mikey?”

The elder’s eyes narrow at the Leo Look-alike then hooks his arm around Mikey’s neck to pull the younger to his side. He presses his cheek against Mikey’s and says, “Come on, Mikey, let’s get out of here. The Non-Mikey isn’t welcome here.”

As Older Mikey guides Mikey away from the Older Leo, Mikey reaches for Older Leo, hoping to stay close to his older brother. Even if his brother is much, much older than usual…

Older Mikey stops a short distance away from Mikey then takes a few steps back to get a good look at the younger. Mikey takes this chance to do the same.

The elder’s orange cape flutters in the wind and his graying hair whips around in the sandy breeze. Unlike Older Leo, he has abandoned the orange mask and wears a bandage-like material around his forearms and shins. He has way more spots than Mikey himself, and even stranger, he looks almost decades older than the older Leo.

“You must be… 13?” Older Mikey asks as he rubs his chin and leans to and squints his eyes at Mikey’s face.

“14,” Mikey corrects.

The elder’s eyes widened, “Oh!” Then his brows furrow, “Oh… I see. So then it hasn’t…”

“What hasn’t?” Mikey asks as his brows furrow in turn.

The elder shakes his head and waves it off, “It’s nothing.”

“Is it about this place?” Mikey asks as he gestures to the open plains. He catches Older Leo’s eyes and the slider smiles and waves in response. Unsure what to make of the slider, he waves then quickly returns his attention to his elder counterpart.

“Is this place the reason why… —no. How am I looking at… me?”

The elder turns to stare in the direction Mikey pointed, his gaze softening and his hands falling to his sides. “This place is my home. Donnie would probably say it’s not good to tell you all this, but I’m sure I can fix it later. So…”

Before Mikey can question the strange shift in the elder’s speaking tone, the Older Mikey suddenly lifts both legs and starts to hover in the air. He crosses his legs and tucks his ankles under himself as he shrugs his cape off his shoulders. He continues in a solemn tone, tries to hide it under a facade of cheeriness but it’s too obvious a lie.

“You’re in the future, Little Me. About… 25 years? I think…? It could be 30. I don’t know… Anyways, I’m sorry, it’s my fault you’re here.”

The elder raises his palm to stare at it before unraveling the bandages on his right arm. He starts from the elbow and slowly begins to reveal the lightning markings embed with trembling, golden light. The markings flicker and occasionally pulse, like a mix of a dying heart and a bulb losing its spark.

Older Mikey flexes his fingers, making the markings pulse in time with each movement of his hand. “The older I get, the weaker I become. The weaker I become…,” he hesitates for a few seconds, “the harder it is to control.”

“What do you mean?” Mikey asks as he rubs the strange numbness to his arms, a feeling that began the second Older Mikey began flexing his fingers.

Older Mikey looks up at Mikey, notices the younger rubbing and massaging his forearms, then begins to bandage his arm back up. “I’ve been dreaming of the old days. The days when we were young,” he gestures to Mikey with a nod of his head, “when I was your age.”

A forlorn look reaches his eyes, his gaze looks beyond Mikey, as he sighs with a faltering smile, “They were so much fun.”

The elder finishes tying his bandages off with his teeth then flexes his fingers for good measure. He tugs and pulls at the bandages to fix them as he adds, “You know? Leo and I haven’t gotten the chance to hold the lair games this year. I keep telling him we should get to it soon, but…”

Older Mikey glances behind the younger, a brief flicker in his eyes before he looks back down at his arm and continues fixing the bandages. “Things just don’t work out that way.”

Mikey looks behind him at the older Leo, the slider decades older than his Leo. He stares at the prosthetic arm then trails down to Leo’s hip to see the flickering fabrics on the hilt of a sword.

Mikey’s heart drops to his stomach.

Red and purple.

Raph. Donnie.

“But this time!” The elder’s voice suddenly rises, breaking Mikey’s attention from the older Leo. Older Mikey continues, “This time we’ll do it. We’ll hold the lair games with everyone, just like before. Sure, it won’t be the same… we’re getting old, you know?”

Mikey’s eyes water, realizing it’s not just age that was the problem. He’s not sure what to say in response, he’s not even sure if he can say anything about it. He just… he just wants to go home with his family while he can.

Seeing the sad look on his older reflection makes the need to see his family even stronger. “Then…how do I get back home? I’ve been looking for a way back all this time, but everything’s the same no matter where I go or how far I go. Nothing changes.”

The elder’s smile completely dies, and his head hangs slightly with shame. “That’s my fault too… you think nothing changes and that’s true, but not for the reasons you might be thinking.”

With a flick of his wrist, the elder raises his hand to the sun. His hand seems to close over a knob the size of his palm and his hand shifts suddenly like a click of turning a single gear. And at the same time, the setting sun suddenly rises just a notch higher in the sky.

Mikey looks up, marveling how the darkening plains had suddenly got a little brighter.

The elder shifts his hand again, turning the knob in his hand and the sun rises another notch. The plains get brighter in sync with the turn of the gear. The sand that had scraped across their skin in the wind returns, following the path it created in reverse.

Older Mikey’s hand suddenly starts to tremble and the pulsing golden light starts to peer out of the bandages. Immediately, he reaches with his other hand to hold his forearm, squeezing the pulsing light that threatens to spill. He winces as he explains, “It’s the way the world is trying to prevent damage to the timeline—my timeline. Because you came to the past through—uh, what’s the word Donnie uses? —unconventional means, the world isn’t changing because it’s repeating the same day.”

“The same day?” Mikey repeats. “But I swear I’ve been walking for so long. That’s impossible.”

The elder exhales sharply and releases the invisible dial, shaking out his hand as he says, “It’s because we’ve been searching for you all this time. This wide open space isn’t exactly easy to get through… but don’t worry, I’ll send you home.”

“Wait, but has it really been the same day all this time? Where have I been going? So all the walking was for nothing? What was the point?” Mikey asks as he opens his arms and widely gestures to nowhere in particular.

“I’m really sorry, Mikey, but did you not notice this entire time?” The elder asks as he rolls his wrist and massages the tender muscle of his forearm.

Mikey’s head cocks back in confusion, “Notice what? That nothing I did made a difference?”

The elder nods and says, “That! Exactly that! Didn’t you notice that sleep was useless? Or that you didn’t need to search for food? You don’t even leave behind dips in the sand where you have stepped.”

Mikey rubs his chin as he stops to think about it. In all honesty, he didn’t even realize he was never hungry or really ever tired. It wasn’t exactly the first thing on his mind when he got here. “You know, I think I thought about getting to that when I found my brothers…”

The elder smiles and an amused exhale leaves his body. “You are a manifestation of my wish to come back to the time when I was young,” his gaze drifts to the older Leo who has now begun to patrol the surrounding area. In a soft voice he corrects himself, “To when we were young.”

Older Mikey’s gaze returns to Mikey, a thickening gloss coating his eyes.

“And it all leads back to hope.”

#wizard mikey go brrr #I hope everyone likes this part #Setting Sun #Setting Sun rottmnt #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt future leo #rottmnt future mikey #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt interactive story #no betaaa #no proofreading we die like men

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blckbarbiedoll · 2 months ago

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Ghost Of You (M.B.)-Chapter 19

I Bet On Losing Dogs

2019-Chicago, Illinois

Half a year had passed since the chaotic Christmas dinner. Donna's house was now fixed, and she was stable enough to watch Sophia and Eva for the night while the adults went out.

Angie finished up her makeup in the bathroom mirror, trying to get herself together in time.

"Holy shit." Natalie sighed, looking in the mirror. "I'm getting married next week."

"You're getting married next week." Angie grinned.

"Am I making the right decision?"

"What?"

"You've been married for like ever. What do you think?"

"I think you shouldn't compare any marriage to mine."

"True. A few months ago, you guys were on the verge of killing each other."

"We still are. We just hide it better."

"Do you think I'm gonna regret this?"

"You want me to be honest?" Angie grabbed her friend's hands.

"Please."

"Marriage is hard. It's really fucking hard. But spending the rest of your life with the person you love makes it so worth it. Natalie, you love Pete. He's a great guy. He makes you happy. You won't regret that."

Nat smiled and hugged her tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too."

'Knock, knock'

"Hey, we gotta go!" Richie called from the hallway.

The women exited the bathroom, Nat going downstairs. Angie leaned against the wall and smiled at Richie.

"Hi."

"Hey. You mind if I hide up here with you for a sec."

"I thought we had to go."

"I just needed an excuse to come upstairs."

"You okay?"

"It's just Tiff." He sighed, running his hands over his face. "She's pissed at me."

"What'd you do?"

"Nothing. We've just been getting into it lately." He looked at Angie and saw her sympathetic expression. "But we're fine."

"You sound like me."

"I'm fine, Ange. You don't gotta worry about me."

"Oh, come on, Richie." She reached out to touch his arm. "I'm always gonna worry about you."

"Hey." Mikey called from the stairs. "What's going on?"

"We're just catching up, man."

"Well can you do it downstairs? We got a party to get to."

"We're coming."

After Mikey went back downstairs, Angie turned to Richie and sighed. "Will you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Will you watch out for him tonight? I know it's a party, but I really don't like it when he drinks all night and mixes it with his pills. I mean, you remember what happened at Christmas."

"Don't worry. I'll keep him straight."

She wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

🤍

"You're being weird."

Angie looked up from her half empty glass. "Huh?"

"I said you're being weird!" Tiffany restated. "Why're you so quiet?"

"I'm tired."

"It's nine o'clock." Nat told her.

"Look I don't wanna ruin the vibe. This is a bachelorette party, not therapy."

"Why can't it be both?"

"You don't wanna hear about all my shit."

"Is this about Christmas?" Nat asked.

"It's about everything."

"Talk to us." The blonde said. "That's what we're here for."

"I just...I don't know if this is worth it anymore."

"If what is worth it?"

"Staying with him. Because when he's good, he's the best. But when he's bad...I don't even recognize him."

"Oh, honey."

"I just feel so alone."

"You have us. We're here for whatever you need."

Nat and Tiff softly held Angie as she sobbed into their embrace.

🤍

Angie squinted at the bright bathroom light while she wiped her tear stained face. The door opened and shut as she stepped into the living room.

"Hey. How was it?"

"Fine." Her husband grumbled as he kicked off his shoes.

"I talked to your mom. She said Soph is having the best time with her baby cousin."

"Yeah, I bet." He grabbed a beer from the fridge and leaned against the counter, taking a long sip.

"Michael, what'd I tell you about that?"

"I got a fucking headache, Ange. I can't take the nagging right now."

"You just came from a party."

"Would you get off my ass?"

"Mikey-"

"Maybe I wouldn't have to drink all the time if you would just stop your bitching."

"I can't fucking do this shit. I can't argue about this anymore."

"So why don't you just let me do what I want?"

"Because I don't wanna be married to an addict!" She said with a slight crack in her voice.

"First I was a junkie, now I'm an addict?"

"Yeah, you are!"

"Just 'cause I drink a few beers, and I need to take something for pain makes me an addict?"

"You go through two cases a week! That's what like six a day? That doesn't sound like a problem to you?"

"I'm a fucking adult! Alright? I'm an adult!"

"Where are you getting the pills, Michael?!"

"What?"

"It's been two years! No doctor would prescribe them for that long! Where are you getting them?!"

"Fuck this!" He smashed his bottle on the floor as it shattered across the room. Angie jumped back and tried to avoid the broken glass. "I don't need this shit from you! You think you're so holier than thou just 'cause you're doing okay and I'm struggling?"

"Michael, I have been begging you to talk to me! All I wanna do is help you, but you won't let me!"

"Yeah, like you'd understand!"

"So explain it to me! I am your wife! Don't shut me out! Talk to me, and we'll make this work! We always do! We have to make this work or-"

"Or what?"

"Or I can't do this anymore." She stumbled over her words with tears in her eyes. "I am so sick of fighting with you. I am so sick of sitting here and watching the man I love turn into someone I don't recognize! I don't wanna lose you!"

"I'm right here. I am right here, Angelina! Yet for some reason, you don't see me!"

"I wanna see you!" She sobbed, stepping towards him while she avoided the glass. "I wanna know you again! Just let me know you." She whispered.

The look on his face changed from anger, to guilt. His eyes began to water and he looked up to stop them from falling. She pawed at his shirt and brought him closer to her.

"You were right. I'm just a fucking junkie." He spoke quietly, cupping her face. "I'm sorry I'm such a fucking failure." He pressed his forehead against hers as tears fell onto his cheeks.

"You're not a failure."

"I'm not a good husband. I'm not a good father. I don't deserve you."

"Shh." She wiped his eyes. "Don't say that."

"Fuck!" He raised his hand up. For a moment, Angie thought he was gonna hit her. He went on to repeatedly slap himself instead.

It truly broke her heart to see her husband like this. "Stop." She grabbed his wrist. "I got you."

"I told you that I wasn't good enough. I told you I wasn't what you needed."

"But you're who I chose. And I would still choose you a million times again."

He cried against her for a while until he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about the bottle. I'll clean it up."

"I'll do it. Just go lay down. I'll meet you in there."

"Okay." He nodded. He lingered in her arms a bit longer before walking into their shared room.

Once he was out of earshot, she sat on the floor away from the glass and sobbed into her hands.

#fanfic #the bear #mikey berzatto #black oc #mikey berzatto x oc

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thegroundsofbrooklyn · 1 year ago

Text

so after posting my jomike fic, i mentioned earlier that i have a fully fleshed-out mike backstory, and because i love my favourite anon, i am sharing it here for everyone's enjoyment.

just a bit of a preface: this is based entirely on west endsies mike. anything that may be canon in livesies is irrelevant here (such as mike and ike being twins) unless it's canon in west endsies. all of this is either based off of things that have either been directly confirmed / can be inferred from mark's performance, or is just totally made up. but i promise most of it comes from somewhere. the only thing that properly goes against canon is the concept of mike scabbing in the first place - but it's kind of a thing, because mikey boy exists, so just go with that.

and yes, the whole concept of mike being good at selling newspapers comes from this specific interaction with mark:

"two cents for a pape!!"

"i have a dollar?"

(contemplates very hard for a solid few seconds) "no." (walks off)

so, enjoy! everything is below the cut.

mike is an anxious mess. behind everything, he's an anxious mess. he's young, he's scared, he's hungry, and most of all, he's so, so alone. he's the one who's always ignored in group conversations. it starts off as a joke, and then over time it stops being a joke, and then suddenly he finds himself as more of a shadow than a real person. and the worst part? everyone else treats him like a shadow too. the thing he's most afraid of is being forgotten. being left behind. behind abandoned.

at a young age, he has a younger sibling who can't sell, so he works to earn enough to keep the both of them alive. that's why he's so confident selling; he's quick, but he knows when he's wasting time with someone who doesn't have the money he needs. but all the newsies know that it's never going to work - they hardly earn enough to keep one person on their feet, let alone two - and mike is forced to watch as his sibling starves, unable to feed them because if he isn't strong enough to sell, neither of them will survive.

after his sibling's death, mike is far more quiet, anxious, and constantly on alert. he starts to withdraw, lashing out at the other newsies. they don't know how to help him, so they start to give him space. from their point of view, he's in pain, and he needs time. from his perspective, the people who are supposed to be his family are leaving him behind, pulling away from him.

the only person who pushes and pushes to stay inside the walls that mike puts up is jojo. so he doesn't mind that nobody else cares, because he has jojo, and it's the two of them against the world, and with him, mike is as close to happy as he can be.

the catch? mike is hopelessly in love with his best friend. every word, every passing touch, every comforting hug, is just a reminder of what he doesn't have. every time jojo grabs his hand to drag him through the city, all mike can think is that that gesture will never mean the same thing to jojo as it does to him. but he's happy. he's happy because he gets to spend time with jojo, and for now, that's enough for him.

and then jojo starts to get closer to tommy boy. and it's not like he spends less time with mike, but it feels like every second mike would normally be sharing with his best friend, tommy boy is there too. and he is so scared that he's losing the one person who makes him happy.

but he does nothing to stop it. he does nothing to stop it because jojo's happiness is worth more to him than his own, and he knows he doesn't deserve a friend like jojo anyway, and jojo will never love him like he loves jojo, and some part of him hopes that maybe if he steps aside and lets jojo go and be happy with his new best friend tommy boy, jojo will realise that mike is all he's ever needed, and come back for him.

it never happens. the more time jojo spends with tommy boy, the more mike withdraws into himself; and the more he withdraws into himself, the more time jojo spends with tommy boy. it's a self-sustaining loop, and jojo never comes back.

mike is left alone in the world again, but this time he's angry.

he hates tommy boy for stealing his best friend, and he hates jojo for leaving, and he hates himself for letting him go, for never standing up for himself or fighting to keep jojo by his side, even though it never felt like a decision he got the chance to make, because what else could he have done?

so he snaps and lashes out and hides inside himself, and he starts following the most important newsies around because at least if they give him validation it's better than nothing. and they just let him follow them around like a lost puppy, because they're young and stupid too so of course they just use his loyalty to their advantage.

and then one day, the delancey brothers find him. they ask him to scab. and somehow, somehow they know exactly what to say to get him to agree. they tell him that it's his own decision. that the other newsies will get to see him doing something for himself and not anyone else. that he finally has the chance to make a choice for himself. and that alone wouldn't be enough to convince him, because all he can picture is jojo's face when he sees mike betraying him, and in the end it's about jojo to him. it's always been about jojo.

but then he hears the one thing that makes him snap.

"remember how you felt when jojo betrayed you?"

suddenly he remembers his anger, and only his anger, and he agrees to scab not despite the hurt it will cause jojo, but because of it. the anger he's been suppressing for ever and ever because all he wants is for jojo to be happy is not going to be held down any longer.

so he scabs.

and that, my friends, brings us up to nothing lasts forever.

#newsies #west endsies #mike newsies #jojo de la guerra #it is 3am and mike is rotating in my brain #someone save me

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lazypanartist · 2 years ago

Note

Happy Yule from me, here is a Christmas present to you, my friend! I hope the holidays are wonderful for you and you get plenty of time to rest and have fun this season. Normally I bake things for people during the season, but since I obvs cant for you, I've included a recipe I use when I'm low energy but want something nice.

(Note: I use a holiday in this called Candle Nights. Candle Nights is a winter celebratory holiday meant for everyone of all denominations.)

Enjoy the story, it's called "Make The Yuletide Gay".

- 📝 Nonnie

---

"-and normally I would totally bring just like, some chips or order us all pizzas, but this year Mikey wants to do something different, and like, wants us all to make something. Like, MAKE make it. Which I guess works for everyone else but like…"

"You hate cooking." You stated bluntly. "Probably because you hate how tedious it is sometimes and lack patience because you prefer instant gratification. Which is utterly fair, it takes a lot of effort and time to cook sometimes."

You stirred your peppermint mocha with a homemade vanilla biscotti while Leonardo pointedly sipped his sugar cookie latte, not looking at you. The two of you sat in your small dining room, the coffees picked by you when he claimed to be having an emergency and needed your help.

You think he would make up every excuse in the world to come visit you, honestly, but you didn't need them. He was welcome any time. Even though he could just portal chop his way in, you always left the window unlocked for him.

"Okay, so, maybe. Yeah. Anyways, I was like, sure, y'know? But then Mikey I guess remembered that I have a shakey history with cooking and he was like 'Oh uh you're fine to just help clean or something.'," Leo crossed his arms while ranting.

"-...Which like Ow but fair but then Fivehead had to go and say he didn't want food poisoning like when we held Candle Nights like 3 years ago from my cooking, which like??? It's been three years, get over it?" He rolled his eyes, fiddling with and idly braiding his mask tails like hair. "Still, I was like 'what no I am SO gonna make something shut up' and Don said it would be inedible and all this is to say please please PLEASE help me make something for the dinner I want to prove I can cook."

He was actively now on his knees begging you, hands grabbing your pant leg as he gave the biggest puppy dog eyes he could.

"But you objectively hate it." You pointed out calmly. "Come on, don't dirty your knees like that, get up.

Leonardo whined and stuffed a biscotti in his mouth, flopping backwards against your armchair while throwing his hands in the air. "I KNOW!! I mean, I'm getting better, but fruit salad and scrambled eggs on toast won't cut it."

"I like your scrambled eggs. Especially now that you learned how seasoning works. You make them spicy without just drowning them in Louisiana hot sauce." You took a long sip of your coffee.

"I just..! I dunno. I gotta show them I can do this!! Besides, I kinda…really want to make something, y'know? Not just to make Dee 'Eateth Thy Words' but…I don't know…"

"It would be nice to have them appreciate something you made for them to enjoy?" Plucking up a cookie, you snacked while listening.

"Yes!!" the terrapin snapped his fingers and pointed at you. "Nailed it!! Jupiter Jim's got nothing on your brains, babycakes!!"

That made you roll your eyes before you nibbled on the pastry in hand. "So, why come to me?"

The slider sat up more, giving you a look before motioning to your cookies that you had laid out for the talk. Thumbprint with homemade orange marmalade.

"I don't just call you babycakes because you have some nice buns."

"Fair, fair," you shrugged, "I suppose I could teach you, but…"

"But..?"

Your eyes trailed over to your kitchen, pondering. "What course are you doing?" You hope it wasn't the main dish. You don't have any whole chickens or, like, a pot roast. Or the time to get it, prepare and cook one.

"Wellll…Mikey wanted appetizers, Donatello is working on greens, Raph has sides, Pops has the main course, and April demanded to do her pumpkin carrot ginger soup. So I got left with dessert. Mikey was gonna do it too but I sorta…strong armed him to at least get that."

You thought quietly for a moment before getting up. "You listen to my instructions, and follow them well, okay? When are you holding it?"

"...in like three hours…"

You turned and narrowed your eyes. "Grab an apron and wash your hands with hot water up to your elbows. We're making a Cheater Cherry Chocolate Cake."

Your boyfriend saluted you before scurrying to do just that.

–

"Okay, so, what all do we need? Flour, cocoa…sugar…ugh, it's gonna suck measuring all this…"

You huffed and scooted the red eared slider out of your way and closed the cabinet he was staring into with disdain. "Yeah. Which is why we won't."

The terrapin watched you walk over to the pantry and open it, rooting in the storage before a few things were tossed his way, making him juggle the objects and set them on the counter before looking at what he caught.

"Wait…Box mix? No, Angelo will taste it-"

"Oh, no he won't," you grumbled, "no one ever really does, and they tend to prefer it, taste wise. Besides, that is the exact base used in the nicest bakeries of New York. They all do it, it's dumb to think it's inferior. It's a nice three dollar box mix compared to the 20-ish dollars worth of groceries you won't use regularly. And anyways," you shrugged, "this takes the tedium out of it all. I'm gonna teach you how to make a cake you won't feel is a hassle, then you can make it whenever."

The ninja's eyes widened a bit, staring at you full of wonder and warmth. "I love you."

"You don't get one back until you have this cake in the oven." You snapped your fingers twice and pointed to the box. "Go on, get the mix and pour it in the bowl. I'll grab what we need from the fridge. I'll instruct and get stuff but I'm not touching the cake so you can make it all by yourself for bragging rights."

Quickly he did as asked before looking at the back. "Follow along with the box, right? I need oil, water-"

"Mh? Oh no. Fuck that." You walked over with milk, butter and eggs. "Equal amounts of melted butter to oil. The sticks are pre-marked, so since that says a third cup of oil, do butter and pop it in the microwave for like, 10 second intervals until it's liquid gold."

Leo snorted and did as you said, pulling out the melted butter not long after and setting it aside, waiting for your instructions.

"Nice. Don't pour it in yet, it has to be done a certain way. Now, instead of a cup of water we use milk, and then whatever number of eggs are said on the box, we add one more. Set 'em aside and put the cold stuffs back. I'll grab our secret ingredient."

You meandered over to a cupboard over your coffee maker and began to rifle through.

"What is it? Tomato soup or something?"

"Eh, no. Not for this. You can, but sometimes the soups are seasoned so you gotta watch out for it and it's easier to use pureed tomatoes or just straight up juice. In any matter, no. It'll add more steps and then it's something you might not have anyway. Besides, there's a whole curdling issue and we don't want to mess with it and it's barely a secret if it's everywhere on TikTok. But!-" you leaned back, "I have an easier one for you."

The turtle watched as you grabbed two containers and walked over, setting one in front of him. "...Espresso powder?"

"Yup. One tablespoon and it kicks up the chocolate flavor like nuts. But, y'know, it's hella expensive and hard to get sometimes."

Your boyfriend winced and nodded.

"Wanna know what's infinitely cheaper, easier to get, and you have at the lair?"

"What?"

You set a small jar of instant coffee powder on top of the espresso. "It works just the same. One tablespoon, and it's basically just as good. Go ahead and toss that into the drys and mix."

After that, you greased the pan and checked to make sure the oven was preheated, "to whatever temp the box says," you instructed. Then you put the bowl in your stand mixer, watching as Leonardo first added the butter, waited a moment, then slowly poured the milk in thirds. Finally, he added each egg one at a time and let it run for twenty seconds before stopping.

"That's kinda…soupy."

"Yeah, you gotta trust the process. Mixing it more makes it more dense. Activates the glutens." You set two cans of cherry pie mix on the counter. "Now, dump those right in the pan. Mine is bigger, but it basically is just however much will cover the bottom of your baking pan. I just know that mine takes two."

After the filling coated the bottom and the cans scraped for excess goo, Leo poured in the mix and then threw it in the oven, setting the timer and looking to you for more instructions.

You shrugged. "Yeah that's it. If it were a tomato cake I'd start us on a frosting, but we don't need it with that because of the cherries. If you wanna make it pretty though, we can use powdered sugar on top once it's cooled. You can even make shapes with paper and make designs or patterns, but it's not necessary. Just let it bake until you can put a toothpick in and no batter sticks."

The ninja nodded and studied the oven for a moment, before his eyes widened.

"Holy shit. I just made a cake."

You snorted. "Yeah. Easy, right?"

"I. Geez. I don't feel annoyed or like my brain is melting."

"Good. That tells me it's not got so many steps that it drives you up a wall."

The mutant slowly smiled and cupped your cheeks, nuzzling your nose a bit in a cute way. "YOU… are the best date mate ever. Have I told you that?"

"No, but you can continue to do so while we dance to whatever that song is you've been looping this week and wait on this cake."

Your nose scrunched as he tugged you down into a quick kiss, muttering "It's Yellow Hearts by Ant Sanders" against your lips before pressing play on his phone and pulling you into a breezy, swirling dance.

–

"Thanks again baby."

You leaned against the counter, drying the mixing bowl and putting it up and away.

"Honestly it's no problem. I'll teach you how to make marmalade next time." You gave a small smile as Leo pecked you on the cheek goodbye, katanas already making a portal back to the lair. "Remember not to mess with it too much 'til dessert time. It should be cooled by then."

"Gotcha. You sure you…don't wanna come? I know April would be happy to see another human and Raph probably would like to talk to you about your little kaiju plushies."

You shook your head. "My grans are supposed to be back soon from their visit with my cousins soon. Should be like, in another hour. We'll probably get pasta somewhere knowing them. Now, go on, you still have to get all dressed up nice."

"Can I borrow one of your cool fancy looking shirts?"

"No. The last time you borrowed a shirt I got it back with a big rip down the side."

"Please? Pretty pretty please from the most incredible datemate ever??"

"...fine."

Leon fistpumped. "Awesome, I already stole one while you were doing the dishes. Alright, well, you're welcome whenever. Just say the word and your brave hero will come to your rescue~"

You hummed at his preening. "Oh, thank you. My brave champion."

Your pet name made the terrapin flush and fiddle with his fingers a bit before giving a final, shy peck goodbye and leaving through the mystic gateway. You waved him off the whole time, and when he was gone, you sighed, a soft smile tugging at your lips. You began removing your apron, hanging it up before adjusting your poet blouse and heading to the living room to wait.

Your grandparents had gone on a vacation to visit your aunt and cousins in another country, and had been gone now for two weeks. You hadn't heard from them today, but, they were bad with tech and it wasn't surprising. Idly you yawned and turned on youtube, putting some toy refurbishment video on as background noise for the very quiet apartment.

One video became two, which became three, and then five. It was now very dark out, and you were still alone. Though, you WERE still texting Leon.

<Champ: Still nothing? Really?>

<Champ: NO. We're about to start. The dishes never got done because it basically got forgotten so it's been delayed and we're all getting a bit hangry.>

Your phone began buzzing and you jolted, answering quickly. You were greeted by the voice of your grandfather, and after exhanging pleasantries, he got down to brass tacks.

"A…blizzard?"

Yes, apparently there were poor weather adviseries all over the place, and your grandma and grandpa were stuck for the next few days. Thankfully, they hadn't flown out yet so they could stay with your aunt, but…

"Yeah. No, I understand. I love you too, be safe."

You hung up with a sigh. Your phone buzzed and you glanced to see Leo had sent you a picture of the whole family. You smiled.

<Champ: Any news? You went silent for a while.>

You quietly began mulling over options before deciding to be honest and telling the mutant what happened.

<Champ: Oh shell.>

<Champ: Do you want me to come get you? Pops says you're always welcome and it's a lot of food. Raph made roasted garlic potatoes!>

<Champ: You shouldn't be alone on Candle Nights and I'd love to have you over.>

You smiled slightly.

<Champ: Oh please>

You heard the telltale Vworp of a portal opening nearby and looked up, shocked to see Leo leaning through it and waving you over.

"It's no trouble, not when it's you. Now, come on. Don doesn't believe you didn't even touch the batter of the cake, Raph's getting you a drink and Mikey is putting together a plate for you. You GOTTA try the soup, I think this is April's best work yet."

Godd, I LOVE this! Domestic fluff always has me giggling, lmao. The recipe is great! And so is the tomato soup warning, lol.

Happy holidays to you as well, Nonnie! And to everyone else who reads this ^-^

#kana's chats #rise leo x reader #rise leo #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #📝 anon

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yeschefthankyouchef · 1 year ago

Text

ugh. even though it was a “tame” chapter you still ripped my heart out and all the groundwork you laid here has me sweating in anticipation.

i also randomly remembered that this masterpiece wasn’t always going to be a full fic with fleshed out lore and i’m grateful to be in the timeline where you continue to bless us with more barby (even if it’s angsty as hell) ((i love the angst))

“But she’d always make sure you knew how easy it was for a person to walk out of your life. She liked to remind you that you couldn’t control other people’s actions, and just because you were important to someone today, didn’t mean those same feelings would transcend into tomorrow.”

okay so this is so beautiful in that her mom gave her the advice that she would need to hear regarding her present situation with carmy before it was relevant and before she died - it’s like she’s speaking to her from the grave. mother baby was giving her the tools before baby even knew she what she would need them for.

“The expiration date for whatever the fuck was going on between you and Carmy fastly approaching.”

god FUCKING damnit, how did you know that relationships with a clock/expiration date are my weakness? i hate to love the angst but god do i love the angst

“You had made a colossal mistake. Who did you think you were to bring people who cooked for a living a sweet and savory cobbler?”

yeah no baby is so much stronger than i, i feel like i would be embarrassed to go grocery shopping in front of any of them - let alone cook for them

“His eyes found two bears he would know fucking anywhere, the amount of times you forced him to watch that movie with you and Mikey drove him fucking insane.”

this is so sweet!! i love the brother bear nods they are so adorable to me

“If working here with Carmen meant every interaction would be like pulling teeth, you’d make sure to ignore him like the plague.”

he just like me fr (socially inept)

“Nat constantly made it obvious that she missed the constant sweets you would bake just for her.”

i just had the most disgustingly sweet thought of nat’s pregnancy cravings consisting of Baby’s Desserts™️ and nothing else

“he was situated across from you, and no matter how hard he thought about it, he couldn’t remember ever teaching you how to make a peach simple syrup”

omg hes so jealous

“Carmy knew he didn’t hate you, but it was hard for him to look at you and not see the relationship he wanted with his brother. He didn’t blame you, but he resented the way it seemed so easy for Mikey to love you, to be open with you.”

carmy is the king of standing in his own way - this is such a major roadblock he’s going to have to get over before him and baby can have any chance at a happy ending

“I guess I say all of this to say I owe this article to Mikey, maybe if I had just picked up the fucking phone he’d still be here with us.”

this is so traumatic to live with, and this whole speech of hers was so impactful and raw.

“What really prickled her curiosity though, was a picture of the two of you strategically placed above the stove”

i love that the only real identifier in his apartment of who he is is of him and baby, that’s just really tugging at my heartstrings. i am a slut for the man who hates everything but his partner trope. ANNNNDDDDDD now we get to see wingwoman sydney blossom!!

“To forget a girl like you would be criminal,”

carmy is so lucky that baby has a thing for emotionally unavailable men because otherwise he would have no chance up against our golden boy hayden. also i think i’m back to imagining hayden as bradley bradshaw bc he gives the strongest divorcee energy to me lol

“Finding his destination Carmy made his way down the aisle, stopping as he saw you laughing with a man he didn’t recognize.”

YES LET THE JEALOUSY BEGIN!!!!!!!!!! oh my god i’m so excited about this it’s embarrassing

“He wanted a lot more than what the two of you allowed to transpire all these years.”

than the TWO OF YOU?? allowed?? my boy really thinks that nothing more transpiring was a mutual decision?? his head is so full yet so empty at the same time

“Carmy’s thoughts ran so wild with you as he entertained Claire’s conversation”

fuck i forgot that it would more likely be a love square than it would be a love triangle. stupid boy knows nothing but how to be a stupid boy.

chapter five | we keep this love in a photograph

masterlist | ↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

summary: as plans are set in motion and renovations move forward, carmy finds himself entangled with the thought of you.

wc: 7.1k

It was 4 am, and the heat from your oven warmed the kitchen. The biscuits lined up nicely on the cooling rack, You hadn’t given much thought to the task at hand, too busy trying to remove yourself from the guilt-ridden thoughts that plagued your mind most nights.

Peach juice coated your hands, the rhythmic act of peeling them helped you to silence the foreboding thoughts fighting their way to the forefront of your brain.

The handwritten recipe card was placed strategically out of the way to not get ruined while you worked around the kitchen. You were no chef that much was obvious, but your mom taught you the art of cooking from a very young age. Instilled in you a sense of independence.

Standing in your kitchen as the night began its metamorphosis into day, you couldn’t help but reminisce about the role your mom played in your life. As a single parent, your mom was adamant about you knowing how to live life without having to depend on the goodwill of others. And even when the Berzattos entered your life, she made sure that you were never too comfortable.

You were allowed to spend as much time with the family as your heart desired, your mom wanted you to understand and enjoy human connection. But she’d always make sure you knew how easy it was for a person to walk out of your life. She liked to remind you that you couldn’t control other people’s actions, and just because you were important to someone today, didn’t mean those same feelings would transcend into tomorrow. To take a little, but never too much, to allow a certain level of comfort but always remember your role in other people’s lives is never as important as you may think.

All the peeled peaches sat atop the cutting board, awaiting the moment they would be pitted and cut into symmetrical slices.

Parents, either unknowingly or not, pass down their own beliefs and ideas to their children. Children who were essentially sponges waiting to soak up whatever knowledge and information was thrown their way. You knew this first hand, your mom’s need for independence is the same flaw that now afflicted you even into adulthood.

The independence that was so far from what you craved growing up, so drilled into you by your mother, that you instead hid behind your dependency on the Berzatto family.

That same need for independence that you had finally given in to and had almost killed you five months ago.

While your mom saw her life lessons as a teaching moment to never overstay your welcome. You easily disregarded it growing up, how could she not expect you to live in your vulnerability, to depend on people she had so easily allowed to love you and take up space in your life?

You didn’t blame your mom for allowing you to know the Berzattos but you blamed her for the part of you that would always remember her words. Always make you second guess if your actions affected people the way theirs did you.

Her words once again made an appearance when Carmy first distanced himself from you and finally made a permanent home in your head when Mikey passed away.

A shrill beep alerted you, the oven was ready. The peaches are pristinely cut, along with the previously made peach simple syrup both awaiting use.

Gingerly adding all the ingredients to your Dutch oven, you placed the lilac pot into the oven before beginning to clean up the mess you made.

You knew your mom did her best raising you with the hand she was dealt. Your father, a shadow you’d never know. Her own life experiences an excuse to protect you from the world, from yourself.

As her health deteriorated, you watched your mom's outlook on life become less skewed. But what good would that do you? The little girl you once were absorbed her constant message and stored it in the back of your mind for safekeeping, awaiting the day such a pessimistic ideal system might one day be put to use.

The timer on your oven was ticking down, the hoard of minutes left until the peach cobbler was done brought on a feeling of despair. Watching the timer dwindle minute after minute felt like a metaphor for your life at the moment.

Time was running out, and maybe that wasn’t true but you sure as hell did feel that way. The time you had left to confess your shortcomings to Richie quickly passed by. The expiration date for whatever the fuck was going on between you and Carmy fastly approaching.

You couldn’t allow these things to continue festering in your life. The weight of them exhausting you, you couldn’t keep pushing on like everything was okay like nothing had changed between any of you.

Choices you made inadvertently affected them just as much as they affected you. You didn’t want this wall between you and them anymore, and even if the wall was nonexistent to them; it was very much real to you.

You would figure things out, you had to. There was no time like the present to commit yourself to fixing the lives you had messed up.

It was easy though walking through life as if you hadn’t ruined anyone else’s. It was almost like you hadn’t, if they weren’t privy to your vices, was there any point in coming clean? Any point in apologizing to them?

Those thoughts were wrong and you knew it. You had to admit your wrongdoings to yourself, to understand why the people you loved the most in life were deserving of an apology, because if you didn’t you would constantly spend the rest of your days justifying why your actions were okay.

Justifying the fact that because you didn’t mean to overdose, that made everything you did okay. That, because you were just going through a mentally tough time in your life, turning to stimulants to aid your grief, was fine. That you were trying to forget for all the right reasons.

Reality was though, there was no right reason for the choices you had been making this whole time. And that was something you still had to come to terms with.

Closing your eyes, your head fell back, face pointed towards the kitchen ceiling. A tired sigh escaped your lips, the exhaustion of recovery taking its toll on you. Tired of standing in the kitchen and being berated by your mind you decided to begin outlining the exposè you were hoping to write on The Bear.

Busying your mind was the easiest option right now, too much unnecessary thinking put you back into the mindset that got you into this mess. Silencing any unwanted thoughts was no longer an option for you, but focusing on something else was proving to work for the time being.

You had made a colossal mistake. Who did you think you were to bring people who cooked for a living a sweet and savory cobbler? That wasn’t your initial plan when you couldn’t sleep this morning and decided to bake. But after removing the dish from your oven allowing the aromas to swim through the foundation of your house, you couldn’t bring yourself to keep it.

A dish that was introduced to you through your mom and the lineage the both of you carried. A dish that Mikey would always want for, but never expect when you did make it for him. A dish that you had spent countless times baking with Carmy by your side the two of you messing up the recipe more than once.

A dish that you once loved so much, but after your mom's death it always tasted like something was missing. And now baking it for the first time since Mikey’s passing you couldn’t even stomach the sickly sweet smell of it.

Walking through the lot to the back door, you were unsurprised to find it unlocked. Entering, you began walking through the kitchen making your way to the counter to place the pastel Dutch oven, the tote bag with vanilla ice cream you picked up on your way there following quickly after.

You weren’t sure who was already here at this time but thought it’d be a nice thing to do by offering them a bowl of the diabetes-inducing dessert. The chunky knit cardigan you were wearing was relegated to the stool next to you, the kitchen felt unusually warm, or maybe that was just your body's natural reaction to being in the restaurant.

Since Carmy had taken over the joint you couldn’t pretend you knew where anything was located. You knew Carmy to be the type of person to run a tight ship, expecting a certain standard from his co-workers.

Searching through the various storage spaces lining the kitchen, you unconsciously bobbed your head to the music singing through your headphones lost to the angelic voice streaming into your ears.

Locating a stack of clear containers you grabbed them before searching for any utensils to eat with, trying four drawers before finding and pulling out a mix of forks and spoons. Finally making your way back to the counter you began ripping the plastic from the store-bought ice cream.

The noise in the kitchen alerted Carmy, the time on his phone signifying that it must’ve been Syd. Inching toward the kitchen he stopped for a moment to check the monthly timelines that were hanging in the front. Every day was filled with a new task, it would be do or die from here on out to even think about opening in six months.

Making his way into the kitchen he stopped the body taking up space notably not Sydney. Your head bobbed up and down to whatever was playing through your headphones. The quiet hum of your voice easily met his ears in the silent kitchen.

He watched as you raised a spoon into your mouth, confused as to why you were in his kitchen this early in the morning. The closed-off kitchen setup didn’t allow him to see what's taking up your attention.

Quietly maneuvering around to get a better view of you, the sudden thought that this may have been an invasion of privacy quickly crossed his mind. He was moments away from leaving you to your own devices before he spotted the scars painted down your right arm. The deepest one tracing from the top of your tricep to your elbow.

Small cuts littered around the larger one, almost like the smaller ones were put there as accent pieces to the main scar. Carmy couldn’t help but wonder what the fuck happened to you after you left his apartment that night, looking from afar it looked as though someone had gone at you with a broken beer bottle or something.

The movement of your arm drew his attention to the reflection of light off of the tape-like bandage above your elbow. His eyes found two bears he would know fucking anywhere, the amount of times you forced him to watch that movie with you and Mikey drove him fucking insane.

Seeing you in this kitchen reminded him of when you were teenagers. It was hard to come to terms with it but he resented you for working at The Beef, resented Mikey even more for allowing you to. It wasn’t fair to you, the more he thought about it the more he realized a lot of the shit he did and felt wasn’t fair to you when you were both younger.

Carmy made his way around the counter you were working at, stopping in front of you the only thing separating the two of you was the steel slab of metal. He wasn’t sure how to get your attention, not wanting to startle you. Standing there watching you shovel what he now knew to be peach cobbler, the nutmeg and cinnamon aroma delicately caressing his nostrils.

The scent easily transported him back to all the moments the two of you spent in borrowed kitchens making this exact dessert.

You were so caught up in the music blaring through your headphones that you hadn’t realized the presence standing in front of you. You jumped spoon clanging against the table as a tattooed hand reached out for the no longer empty container housing the contents of your homemade cobbler and store-bought ice cream.

“Jesus fuck Carmen!” A hand raised to clutch at your chest, you understood how Tina felt yesterday after you snuck up on her. You quickly pulled the headphones off dropping them onto the counter, “Why the fuck are you sneaking around and shit?”

Carmy stared at you blankly, eyebrows raised before his head nodded toward the bowl he was aiming to grab. You rolled your eyes before nodding, “Sure Carmen, almost give me a heart attack in this shit hole kitchen, oh and while you’re at it don’t forget to try my peach cobbler.”

“Heard.” A small nod was sent your way before he shoveled a spoon full of the dessert into his mouth.

A scoff escaped your lips, you picked up your discarded spoon before taking another bite of the ice cream. The atmosphere between the two of you became awkward real quick, neither of you willing to break the silence, neither of you knowing what to say to break the silence.

“So uh, what’s with the cobbler?” You eyed Carmy surprised he was the first to break the silence, you shrugged distracting yourself by putting the lid back on the Dutch oven to persevere the content's warmth.

“Dunno, couldn’t sleep,” it's not like you were lying to him, but standing in his presence acting as though everything was okay made you feel guilty.

“You uh still bake when you can’t sleep?” The sigh you let out was an indication of how this small talk was the last thing you wanted to be doing.

“Obviously Carmen,” your hand shot out to gesture to the pastel pot between the two of you.

“Right…right.” The drumming of Carmy’s finger’s against the steel caused a slight irritation in you. Nodding you wiped the non-existent grime from your hand on your pants.

“Right, well I need to finish my proposal.” You walked the spoon you’d been using to the dishwashing area before joining Carmy one more time, “I’ll be in the dining area if you need anything.”

“You said uh, that you were writing about Mikey and The Beef.” You nodded, waiting for him to finish his sentence, it didn’t sound like much of a question so you weren’t sure what form of response he was expecting.

The silence stretched around the kitchen, an unwavering stare down between you two filling the air with even more tension. You expected things to be stilted between the two of you, but things felt like they were on a whole other level now.

“Well, this is for everybody,” finger quickly pointing at the treats you bought. “It’s kind of a thank you for letting me be a part of this, even if you guys don’t sign off on the article.”

“No, yeah um awesome.” The blank stare you aimed in Carmy’s direction bordered on disgust, leave it to him to make an awkward situation even more awkward, it sure was a talent of his.

You picked up your tote bag and cardigan before heading to the dining area, hoping there was still a table and chair you could occupy. If working here with Carmen meant every interaction would be like pulling teeth, you’d make sure to ignore him like the plague.

“Is that peach fucking cobbler I smell?” Richie’s voice carried through to the dining area where you had sat staring at your finished outline.

You finished a bit ago but didn’t want to chance running into Carmy while it was still just the two of you here. Hearing Richie’s voice and the slight noise as you slipped your headphones off proved that you were no longer alone with one of your oldest friends.

“Baby! Where’s Baby?” You laughed maneuvering out of your seat to head back into the kitchen, unsurprised to find Richie and the rest of the crew gathered around containers of ice cream and cobbler in their hands.

It seemed too early in the day to attack your tastebuds with such a sweet confection, but it was kind of your fault for bringing it in in the first place. You made your way to Sugar’s side with a small smile on your lips as she ate her portion.

In the month after your release, before your house was ready you stayed with Nat and Pete. Your restless energy was channeled into your mom’s dessert recipes, a way to keep your mind occupied and the only way you knew to thank the two adults who hadn’t given up on you.

Nat constantly made it obvious that she missed the constant sweets you would bake just for her.

The two of you made your way to where everyone else was gathered around, you couldn’t lie seeing the empty pot caused a sigh of relief to leave you. You weren’t sure if you could handle being ridiculed by chefs for your poor-tasting dessert.

“This don’t taste like moms baby, you do somethin’ different this time?” Richie eyed you as he raised the spoon to his mouth, it may have tasted a bit different but that didn’t deter him from finishing his serving.

“Uh yeah, a friend of mine taught me how to make this peach simple syrup. It like helps the biscuits stay moist or something. Chef talk isn’t my strong suit.”

Carmy wasted no time before looking in your direction, he was situated across from you, and no matter how hard he thought about it, he couldn’t remember ever teaching you how to make a peach simple syrup. He watched as Marcus began talking your ear off about the dessert, the two of you falling into quiet conversation as you found a connection in sweet confectionery.

It was hard to watch as you so easily integrated yourself into the crew, Syd raptly listening to yours and Marcus’ conversation as if you were some award-winning chef and not just some journalist who knew how to bake. As he stood there watching everyone in the kitchen, he couldn’t pinpoint why his thoughts surrounding you seemed so bitter, he didn’t hate you, didn’t think he ever could.

But as he focused on you more, he realized that you were a part of Mikey he never really got to know. Of course, you were Carmy’s best friend but when things between the two of you fizzled out, Mikey’s role in your life became larger, even if you were separated by states and time zones.

Carmy knew he didn’t hate you, but it was hard for him to look at you and not see the relationship he wanted with his brother. He didn’t blame you, but he resented the way it seemed so easy for Mikey to love you, to be open with you.

Catching your eye he nodded his head in the direction of the dining area curious to hear about this article you were thinking about writing and maybe learning more about how it all connected back to Mikey and The Beef.

He made his way to exit the kitchen assuming you would be following behind him. Carmy stopped before turning around, he couldn’t make this decision by himself or at least that was his excuse as he called for Sugar and Sydney to join the two of you. It was probably all for nothing though as he knew the two women were already on board.

The four of you took seats at the table, the arrangement was oddly reminiscent of the meeting yesterday, this conversation taking place at the same table. You sat lonely on one side of the table while the other three occupied the other side.

You glanced down at your laptop in front of you realizing it might be better to join the others, the graphics would have been all for nothing if they couldn’t see them. Quickly grabbing your laptop you wandered over to the three individuals before plopping it in front of them on the table, you walked to grab the closest chair scooting it next to Carmy. You were too worried about the response to your proposal to be worried about being in such close contact with Carmy.

Sitting down you tried not to let the brush of Carmy’s leg against yours bother you, adjusting yourself in your seat before clearing your throat.

“Uhh, I made a PowerPoint,” the time you spent hiding from Carmy this morning allotted you the opportunity to do so. “It’s pretty self-explanatory, but I’ll walk you through it.”

You began clicking through the slides, the nervousness you were feeling earlier taking a backseat as you so easily settled into your element. Time flew by as you grew more passionate about the article with each slide going into even more depth than the information in the presentation did.

“The reach this article will have might just be the difference in The Bear’s success or the lot of us paying back a loan in 18 months.” The smile on your face was enough to show how excited you were at the prospect of being able to go forth with your project.

“Or you know, the food might actually play a part in The Bear’s success,” you looked in Sydney’s direction, confidence shot before noticing the small uptick at the corner of her lips.

You nodded a small chuckle leaving your lips, “I guess the food might play a part.”

Two smiles directed towards you helped to make you feel infinitely better about the whole situation, you were doing your best to disregard the figure sitting next to you. Not doing a very good job as his leg continued to brush against yours which felt like every millisecond, you didn’t want to assume he was doing it on purpose but it did disrupt your focus while explaining your presentation.

“I think it’s a great idea. We’re going to need the exposure,” your eyes shot to Nat as she began speaking. “I mean, there’s really no cons to going through with this.” The encouraging smile Nat sent you reciprocated on your lips.

When nobody spoke up Syd began nodding along, “Yeah, I-I think it’s a great idea, though my opinion may be a little biased.” Her words drifted off into a soft mumble as she realized her previous reading of your work may have influenced her answer.

The two women’s agreement seemed like all you needed, no sign of Carmy itching to chime in. The lull in conversation created an opportunity for everyone to take their respective leave and work on their tasks for the day. You gathered your laptop in your hands and moved the chair you were using back to its original spot.

Making your way to your bag and cardigan you began putting your laptop away and making sure all your belongings were in there so you didn’t leave any valuables behind. You tried to ignore the presence that stayed in the room with you, not in any mood to deal with Carmy’s hot and cold attitude.

“Why is this article so important to you?” Carmy hadn’t said a word doing your entire explanation. It would've been easy to believe he wasn’t in the room if it wasn’t for his warm leg constantly pressing against yours. His arms crossed over his chest, it was hard to pretend you didn’t know what was hiding under the knit crew neck he was wearing.

You found his eyes, the exhaustion in them a mirror to your own. For a minute it was easy to imagine the two of you were teenagers again, the urge to find a seat next to him again and pour your heart out scratching at the back of your mind.

“Can I be honest with you?” You took a glance in Carmy’s direction watching as he relaxed his arms almost like he was opening himself up to whatever you had to get off your chest.

“I uh,” a sardonic chuckle passed through your lips. “I told Mikey I’d write about him one day and…and by the time I finally made it far enough into my career he…he left us.” Carmy’s face didn’t give much away about his feelings making it a little easier to continue your train of thought.

“It's just something I need to do I guess,” you shrugged your shoulders as you faced Carmy once more. The want to be near him won over, taking a few steps to the middle of the table before leaning against it, the once large gap between the two of you now lessened.

“He uh, called me that night. I was at a screening for a friend’s documentary so I just let the call go to voicemail. Texted him after that I’d call him in the morning.” It was weird, Natalie had seen you at your lowest and you had yet to tell her the whole story behind the infamous voicemail that kept you up that night. But standing here with Carmy at this moment gave you a sense of safety you had been lacking.

“I remember waking up in the middle of the night with so many missed calls from Nat and Richie, your mom even called me once,” a humorless laugh escaped your lips, the confidence you had earlier to tell this story dwindling with each word.

“I finally answered Sug’s next call and I remember before she even said anything, I felt like this ache in my chest.” Your hand had subconsciously moved to your chest pressing against it as though you were trying to relieve a bout of heartburn. “And I just…I could feel that something was wrong and you know my first thought was you, tha-that something happened and we never got a chance to fix us.”

“But then Sugar lets out this heart-wrenching sob, like this bone-chilling cry that just like freezes your blood and I’m sitting there listening to her cry and then I’m crying and I don’t even know why yet. And it feels like…like we’ve been on the phone for hours just crying with each other before Pete calms her down enough,” the shakiness not only evident in your voice but your hand that was still resting on the table by your hip. “And it's silent for a moment but I know, the moment the first syllable passes her lips it's like I lose all of my senses and I’m just sitting up in bed, numb to what she’s saying. And it can’t be real, you know because Mikey just called me only a couple of hours ago.”

“As soon as I’m off the phone with Nat I immediately call Richie, and the first thing he says to me is ‘Baby I’m sorry’ he apologizes to me like his best friend that he probably spent his whole day with didn’t just blow his brains out.” The lump in your throat was begging to be free, something you wouldn’t allow to happen. “And Richie is sitting there fucking consoling me because I’m too goddamn selfish to take one fucking breath and make sure he is okay.”

You finally meet Carmy’s eyes again, waterline wet with the tears you won’t allow to fall. “I guess I say all of this to say I owe this article to Mikey, maybe if I had just picked up the fucking phone he’d still be here with us.”

Carmy has no idea how to respond to anything you’d just told him at a loss for words as he allows your emotions to sink into him. He gently reaches his hand out, not knowing if a comforting touch would help, but wanting to do his best to let you know he was there with you. The two of you sat in each other’s presence, the weight of your confession weighing heavy in the room. Carmy knows nothing he says will change anything, it won’t bring Mikey back and it won’t lessen your grief, so for a while, he doesn’t, the two of you sit there connected by your hands.

“Uh, I’m not sure how much Sug told you, but there are these Al-Anon meetings for uh family members of addicts and I’ve been going for a while now,” he gave your hand a small squeeze to make sure you were still listening. “It helps to understand what Mikey was going through.”

You looked down at the man below you, a blank look on your face. You gave him a soft smile as your thumb caressed his knuckles, “Yeah I uh I’ll look into it.” You had wanted to laugh, the irony of the situation not lost on you but you appreciated the help Carmy was trying to offer.

The approaching footsteps easily forced you back to your side of the table, quickly occupying yourself to look busy so you wouldn’t have to explain why you were alone with Carmy. You listened quietly as he and Syd began conversing about something that was none of your business.

“I’m just gonna hang around here before I’ve gotta be at work if that’s cool with you guys?” You looked at the two chefs more so telling rather than asking but still wanting to be polite.

Syd nodded “The more hands the better I guess.” You sent a small smile in her direction before heading to the door hoping to make yourself useful and occupy your mind from the guilty thoughts.

Avoiding Carmy’s eyes as you not going unnoticed by him, though neither of you expected the conversation to take the turn it did. He was relieved that you still felt comfortable enough with him to have a conversation of that nature.

Sydney was doing her best to focus on the chaos menu with Carmy. But with it being the first time in a space so personal to him, she couldn’t help but take in the small details around his apartment that gave a look into who he was.

It was surprising to her really, the whole apartment was bare, lackluster of any interpersonal items besides Carmy’s belongings that one would expect to see. Syd tried not to come across as nosy, or too interested in the small things her eyes did catch onto, but it was hard.

Like the group picture stuck to his fridge with a random cheap banana magnet that no one ever knew they had but it just appeared in their kitchen one day. Or the aesthetic-looking knife set that Syd would equate to something a suburban mom might have in her kitchen and not the gritty anxiety-riddled chef she was cooking with.

What really prickled her curiosity though, was a picture of the two of you strategically placed above the stove. Syd was awarded a glance as Carmy removed his closet from the oven, she couldn’t tell how recent it was from the few seconds she saw it, but it did make her question what Carmy’s idea of an ‘old acquaintance’ was.

It was probably her third pass by the stove before she was finally able to take in a clear understanding of the Polaroid. She would admit she was surprised, the content of the picture far from anything she would ever equate to Carmen Berzatto.

It was of you and Carmy. The two of you were lying next to each other, whether on a bed or the floor, Sydney couldn’t tell. One of your arms was raised, presumably holding the camera in your hand. Even though the moment was captured in time, Syd could feel the intimacy through the photo, almost making her feel too uncomfortable to even be so intrigued by it.

Syd had seen the smile gracing Carmy’s face once or twice in real-time, something he usually kept to himself. He looked happy lying there next to you, like your being there eased him. She focused on you to find you were focusing on him, your head tilted up a little, eyes gleaming full of love.

You looked at Carmy the way Syd’s dad talked about her mom. Like your entire life was destined to be entangled with Carmy’s.

As Sydney focused on the picture once more, she finally noticed the number written on the white space of the Polaroid. Her only assumption that it must’ve been yours.

Her curiosity had finally gotten the best of her. From the way you two interacted, to the Polaroid she was sure she had taken in every detail of , there was history between you and Carmy.

“Hey uh, can I ask you a question?” She moved to sit at the table where Carmy was prepping pasta. She wasn’t sure whether she should beat around the bush or just outright ask her question.

Carmy raised his head, eyes catching hers before giving a slight nod, Syd took a deep breath. She would consider her and Carmy friends, but she didn’t want him to think she was crossing some line. “Uh what’s the deal between you two,” she said your name for clarification, not yet sure if she was allowed to call you by the nickname so many others did, and not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

Carmy froze for a minute, but his recovery was so quick if Syd wasn’t paying attention she wouldn’t have caught it. “It’s just uh, you called her an acquaintance, but I don’t think anybody gets those vibes from you two,” she trailed off not wanting to make Carmy feel pressured.

“I mean you have a shrine to her above your stove.” Carmy’s head snapped up to Syd before looking at the picture above his stove, Syd’s soft laugh signifying her quip as a joke.

“Fuck off,” he chuckled along with her, the weight on his shoulder at the idea of talking about you lessening a bit. “She uh, we were best friends growing up, she lived across the street from us.”

Syd nodded her head waiting for any more details, she wasn’t normally one to pry but Carmy’s explanation sounded like such bullshit compared to the way you two acted around each other. “So you guys like never dated or anything?” Syd’s curiosity caused the question to come across as less casual than she hoped.

“No, no. Just friends,” Carmy nodded eyes still on the pasta doing his best to distract his mind from Sydney’s line of questioning.

“Did you ever like, I dunno want more with her?” Carmy stopped eyes finally meeting Syd’s, he stood there for a moment just taking in her question. Although you once admitted your desire for something more with him, he still hadn’t. And he wasn’t sure if now in his kitchen with Sydney was the right time or place to do it.

But Syd didn’t need him to verbally answer, the look in his eyes told her more than what she had even asked. The two of them were only speaking about you and the longing in Carmy’s soft blue eyes was enough for Sydney to feel like she interrupted a sudden declaration of love.

Sydney cleared her throat, averting her eyes not at all meaning to get into anything too personal. Just a bit curious about the nature of the relationship between you two. “So any ideas on how to make this chaos menu…thoughtful?”

Carmy was grateful for Syd’s diversion of topics. If she had picked up on the tension between the two of you, he was sure the rest of the crew had. And if that meant everyone was privy to the unfinished history between the two of you then neither of you were as sly as you thought.

You lost Hayden somewhere between first entering the store and him wandering off for his necessities. You didn’t mind though, he was nice enough to offer you a ride home and stop by the store as the two of you brainstormed about your respective dinners for the night.

Wandering around on your own in a store you had never been to probably wasn’t the smartest decision you made. Case in point is the fact that you were standing in the alcoholic beverage section trying to fight the urge to peruse through the variety and pick your favorite form of poison.

The sound of your name caught your attention, eyes shooting to Hayden’s impeccably dressed form. You’d be the first to admit maturity had done him good, the sleeves of his button-up shirt rolled up to show off his toned forearms. The top three buttons were undone, his chest giving a preview of what he had to offer.

His lips wrapped around your name again, a slight frown to his brows. He looked around the aisle before his eyes landed back on you with a small smile decorating his lips, “You okay?” You watched as he checked you over, the action irritated you a bit. Was he expecting you to go batshit crazy in the middle of the grocery store and just start hammering away at the countless bottles?

“Fine, just got distracted. I um, I just need some açaí and I’ll be good.” You gave him your best smile hoping it would reassure him, the one he returned ensured just that.

The two of you made your way to the frozen food section, meaningless small talk passing between the two of you.

“I can’t believe you still eat this shit,” you scoffed, quickly grabbing the bag of frozen açaí from the freezer. Closing the door as you made your way back to Hayden the two of you ready to make your leave.

“If I recall, you had no problem eating this in my dorm all those years ago,” the boisterous laugh that escaped Hayden caused a similar one to leave you, neither of you having brought up this topic of conversation since reuniting.

“Had to replenish all that lost stamina somehow,” your eyes widened slightly Hayden’s smirk did nothing to quell the heated feeling spreading through you.

He walked past you, grabbing your hand so you would follow behind him. “What’s got you quiet all of a sudden?” You knew he was teasing you, the tone in his voice bringing a chuckle out of you.

“Just wasn’t sure how well you remembered our college shenanigans.” The shrug of your shoulders was supposed to feign nonchalance, but the wide grin on your face proved the opposite.

The two of you had lost any rush to leave the grocery store, casually walking around hands entwined together. “To forget a girl like you would be criminal,” you faced Hayden nose scrunching up at his words a laugh bubbling out of your lips.

“Didn’t you get married?” Hayden laughed, throwing his arm around your shoulder as the two of you continued around the store aimlessly just enjoying the company of an old friend.

“You didn’t want me the way I wanted you. Had to move on at some point.” The melancholy tone in his voice caused a feeling of guilt to shoot through your heart. You nodded a sad smile gracing your lips, the squeeze on your shoulder helping to alleviate your remorse.

“Listen, Hayden, I didn’t mean to hurt you or anything,” you sighed as you moved to stand in front of him. “It just wasn’t fair of me to commit to a long-term relationship with you when my heart wasn’t in it.” He nodded a smile sent in your direction.

“No, I uh I appreciate it, wouldn’t have married Marlene if you didn’t set me straight,” you smiled happy there was a bright side to this whole situation. “Probably wouldn’t have divorced her either. Hey, should I send you my lawyer fees or.” Hayden trailed off, grin returning to his face as you laughed swatting at his bicep.

All he saw in his head was you. As dramatic as it sounds it felt like the thought of you was keeping him alive, from the way you had all but disappeared when they opened Mikey’s locker. To the photo above his stove that was seared into his brain. So preoccupied with thoughts of you he had missed the aisle he intended to go down three times.

Finding his destination Carmy made his way down the aisle, stopping as he saw you laughing with a man he didn’t recognize. His mind going back to the conversation he had earlier with Sydney, Carmy did want more with you. He wanted a lot more than what the two of you allowed to transpire all these years.

Carmy wanted a life with you, a life where he was the one making you laugh in the grocery store. Where his apartment wasn’t just filled with a, year old photograph of the two of you, but filled with your presence.

He envisioned a life with you, and he wasn’t sure why he had sabotaged every chance you had given him to make that a reality. Carmy continued his journey through the store, thoughts of you played heavily on his mind. It didn’t matter what he wanted though if he never gained the courage to tell you. There was a lot unsaid between the two of you, but you had made your feelings clear. Tried to reconcile whatever relationship the two of you still had left. And the ball was in his court, had been since your impromptu visit last year.

Even when reunited with the girl he had crushed on once upon a time, you were still at the forefront of his mind. The woman in front of him is a cruel reminder of all the ways he messed up with you.

Carmy’s thoughts ran so wild with you as he entertained Claire’s conversation, that he didn’t think twice before giving her a number that had been left on a Polaroid a year ago and now decorated the space above his stove; but not the contact book in his phone.

a/n: it’s here!!! i think this chapter is pretty tame which is kind of out of character lol. thankful to be done with this chapter so i can explore some ideas i’ve been having! thank you all so much for your love and support! please support me in whatever way feels comfortable!!! 💜

tag list: @hawkins-2000 @elliesbabygirl @allbark-no-bite @anakinswh0re3005 @rexorangecouny @thecraziestcrayon @fruitcupsworld @nishinoyahhh @lilylovelyxo @ridingthehotmessexpress @noas-ark @jadeittic @hellokittyever @luvr-bunnyy @sxgees @fandomhopped @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @kravitzwhore @chanluvr @readingwiththereids @chims-kookies @ladygrey03 @ferida-kahlo @wanderlustnightwanderer @how2besalty @armydrcamers @jointherebellion215 @jackierose902109 @blkbxrbie-esther @ajordan2020 @head-slut-in-charge @magnet-girl @thebookwormlife @sevikasblackgf @writers-hes @senassn @bunnysthngs @gabbycoady13 @randomhoex @mattmurdocksstarlight @shinebright2000 @royalestrellas @khena @kailyn-g05 @ovaqma @fire-treasure-iii @frequentnosebleeder @awatt31 @cauliflowerpatch

#it’s getting hot in this kitchen #but i fear i’m patiently waiting for it to get spicy in this kitchen #when the slow burn is slow burning in the best way possible #carmen berzatto x reader

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deathfavor · 2 years ago

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I touched on this briefly with my other headcanon and canon mentions it. But Kazutora’s brain is hardwired to the you can only chose one side mentality because that was the environment he was brought up in and forced into. His mother or his father. Himself or others. One or the other. Never both. Never, ever both.

He had to ‘sacrifice’ Mikey in his head to be able to save himself from the guilt. He never would intentionally do that when he really did only mean well. He wanted to make Mikey happy. But the crime was done and there was nothing he could do about it. So he projected everything onto Mikey to save himself. Mikey himself said all of Kazutora’s pain and suffering was his. Kazutora took that rather LITERALLY. He pushed it all onto Mikey, and then needed to ‘destroy’ it in some way. He needed it gone because otherwise it would always be a threat to him and his survival. If you are my pain, then if I destroy you, then I’ll destroy my pain, ergo I’ll survive and be okay.

Mikey’s “ Am I your enemy? “ question causes another snap in Kazutora as we see. Kazutora had already projected this idea of pain onto Mikey, but that question puts him in the same spot as are you on your father’s side, or my side? His eyes waver for a second because it hits something deep. Now he’s ACTIVELY forced into a choice rather than just projecting or deciding it in his brain. Now he HAS to say it and act on it even further than he has at that point. He HAS to in his own head.

And Baji....Baji absolutely breaks my heart. Because we know, Kazutora says it himself, that Baji is the most precious thing to him. But when he’s told that Baji is a traitor after all? He can’t handle it. It’s a threat so much worse than anything else that he has to go to more extreme efforts. One side or another. Toman or him. Not even Valhalla, but him. Like I said, you can only choose one side in Kazutora’s head. You can’t have both. He takes it not as Baji betraying Valhalla, but as Baji betraying HIM, abandoning him, for something else. Everyone else in his life already had. His parents, his fake friends, Toman, Baji was the only one who hadn’t abandoned him, and he was always deeply terrified that one day Baji would. Baji was the sole exception to Kazutora’s thoughts that people betray you. He was there. he was his saving light. He was the one good thing Kazutora ever really had. Not to mention that in this Valhalla & Toman showdown, Kazutora is already in a very unstable state because he was fighting with Mikey, his other walking source of pain. AND he’s full of adrenaline which makes even stable people not think things through. It’s too much.

Kazutora can’t, he can’t handle something so threatening it would destroy him. When it’s whispered in his ear that he’s being betrayed, he has to chose himself. Suddenly Baji’s become another threat in that frenzied moment. Kazutora can’t think, he can only act when under an active threat. He acted, because as I’ve said, in moments of high emotion and threat, Kazutora acts on instinct. He ‘fights’ to survive against whatever the perceived threat it, be it literal like Shin or soul-crushing betrayal like he was told Baji was doing. He doesn’t think, he just does. He attempts to put the pain to Mikey, but then he finally acknowledges he did it. He’s his own biggest threat, he’s destroyed the only thing that truly matters to him.

And then Baji gets up, and Kazutora’s so full of hope for a moment. That maybe he is okay. But he isn’t. And Baji........Baji is the only person who understands Kazutora. His mindset. One or the other. He takes that burden from Kazutora by doing the worst damage himself. One or the other? Then Baji will make sure Kazutora doesn’t have to choose this time. And it’s so, so devastating to Kazutora. He can’t undo anything, he can’t change it. He can finally see it from another angle when its the choice is not in his hands but its too late.

#᛭ — [HEADCANON] dark dreams await you [KAZUTORA HANEMIYA]#it really was him being played like a puppet #both by others and his mind #knowing his instinct is to survive against threats #its not about the gang its abt HIM being abandoned #by the only good thing he has v.v

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cupcakeslushie · 2 years ago

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In the show Donnie has been canonically confirmed to be autistic I believe and Mikey with ADHD. Did those prove to affect how they were treated or raised in any way? And aside from flopping on people does Donnie still have a bit of a aversion to touch and people who are exceptions? Or does he ignore any uncomfortable feeling he has about anything because he's been through worse and if so how do the turtles help him unlearn these negitive things?

Did Mikey's ADHD ever get him in trouble with big momma and in the battle nexus? I would ask more but I don't want to overload-

Donnie is still autistic, and Draxum did try to “train out” the behavior he didn’t consider warrior-like (God he’s such an asshole in this—and I LIKE canon Draxum 🤣 but I really am making him worse than Shredder at this point). He waited to start the really heavy experiments until Three was older, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t punish him harshly when he “acted foolish”. Draxum would grab and pull Three all the time, either by the arm or he’d use his vines to restrain him where he wanted him. So most of Donnie’s touch aversion here comes from being reminded of that. I am personally of the opinion that Donnie isn’t as so much touch averse in canon—He’s seen constantly touching his family and April and though sometimes he may have a slight grimmace, you can see that he eases into the hug and even initiates a lot of them. I think his hangups are more texture based and that he doesn’t like being caught off guard, which are still present here, and unfortunately, Draxum uses against him in ways we’ll find out. But Donnie does appreciate that his brothers and Splinter give him the option of saying no. It gives him a sense of control over the situation and he finds accepting and initiating contact easy and comforting more often than not, unless it’s a real bad day.

Big Mama was very doting on Mikey, and spoiled him rotten. She got him the best tutors for his education, but Mikey drove almost all of them into quitting except for his martial arts, and art tutors. As a result Mikey has more of a classical art style, and Big Mama puts his paintings all over the lobby of her hotel. But Big Mama is fickle, and after so many years she grows bored enough with him, and sees how strong he’s gotten, that she can’t pass up the opportunity of dropping him into the Nexus. She still gives him treats for his wins, but it’s framed more like prizes to her champion than gifts for her child. Still, Mikey sees them as gifts for doing well, and imagines one day when he wins enough fights, she’ll let him out.

It isn’t until after he’s rescued that he reads up on art therapy, and tries to get back into art. Sadly he finds he doesn’t have the taste for it anymore which devastates him and causes a bout of intense depression…until April suggests that he try a whole new style, something his tutor never covered, and takes him on a tour of the city to see all the coolest street art. In days he’s got most of the lair covered in graffiti.

Mikey does have ADHD, in fact most of his scars come from times where he got distracted in the ring. At night in the barracks he tries to pull from happy memories and beneath the good times spent with Big Mama there’s something else he can’t quite grab hold of, but it comforts him enough for him to keep fighting. On the other hand, Leo remembers almost nothing from Shredder warping his memories so much.

Lastly, Shredder was a harsh taskmaster, very manipulative and told Leo lie after lie to get him to hate Splinter. Leo trained from before sunrise to after sunset, and didn’t talk to many people outside of Shredder’s inner circle of commanders. He was taught a wide range of studies, including war strategy, weaponry, and languages. Shredder was never really…cruel, without reason like Draxum, but if he ever felt Leo was lacking in training or not following his commands to the letter, he would show no mercy. Leo is treated with a lot of respect from most of the foot recruits. Of course some of the older commanders (🤐) aren’t too happy when a literal child is given such a high position of power, but they would never argue with the Shredder.

If you have any more questions please check out the Separated AU tag and my pinned post! I might’ve already answered it!

@lockoutkey @nyxthedragon225, @froggiethelesbian

#separated au #ask slushie #rottmnt separated au #that’s pretty much all I’ll say at the moment on their childhoods as i have plans to expand on them further #hopefully that’s enough to tide everyone over until i can get pages out

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sparklytravelmoviepersona · 2 years ago

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The first time you met part 2

You and Leo were walking around the streets of New York looking for his brothers. Leo still had to continue the search but you could see how bad he was.

“Hey… you okay?”

“I don’t know. I just… I lost the only family I’ve ever had so I… (sits down on a bench) what am I doing?”

“(sigh) I know this isn’t easy. Losing the people close to you.”

“Do ya?”

“Yeah. I always had a good time with my friends. They would make me laugh, feel better, happy.”

“Must be nice to have friends. So you had fun?”

“I didn’t just have fun. I had an amazing time… and that’s what friends are for. Right?”

You said but then got sad

“But… one day, one of them got hurt. And I tried everything, but there was nothing I could do about it. It changed everything. I wasn’t the same after that day, but eventually I got over it. I’m still me. Just me helping a new mutant. You’re doing the right thing, Leo. And if you’re brothers are anything like you. I’m sure I’d love to meet them.”

Leo smiled back at you

“Now come on, Neon Leon. The search continues. Let’s go find your family.”

“(laughing)”

Until suddenly, you hear screaming and banging coming from an abandoned warehouse. You hear yelling and someone saying something familiar.

“Oh mi gosh!”

“Oh mi gosh?”

“(gasped)! Mikey! (Y/N), you’re a genius!”

You and Leo run towards the warehouse, but you creep in quietly. You enter inside and see the brothers fighting against some weird looking flame heads.

“Who are those guys?”

“Aw no! Them again?! Ugh! I should have known the foot clan abducted them! You stay right here! Hot soup!”

You see him and his brothers fighting against the foot clan. But one of them hit Mikey and threw him down. And just right before he’s about to knock his lights out, you swoop in and save Mikey and start going psycho on the foot clan members until they said it was time to bail and they left the warehouse.

“Aw jeez. You okay?”

“Uh….. yeah.”

“Is that a human?”

“Oh mi gosh! We’ve been seen!”

“Woah woah guys! Wait a minute! They’re not here to expose us! They were helping me find you!”

“Leo!”

You watched as raph, donnie, and mikey gave leo a big group hug.

“I’m glad your okay! But… how did you even find us?”

“I had a little help.”

Leo looked back at you, and you came to see the brothers leo told you about.

“So this is the famous raph, donnie, and mikey.”

“Mhm”

“Somehow, I pictured raph… a little bit like you. But I guess that means he’s obviously the oldest in the family.”

“Say what?!”

“Leo, you told them about me? About us?”

“It’s okay, donnie. You guys don’t have to be scared or anything. This is (y/n).”

“Nice to meet guys.”

“Honestly, I’m sure we can say the same thing to you, kid.”

Then you all walk out of the warehouse and make your way out into the open air with the entire family, and smile on your way out.

#rottmnt leo x reader #rottnmt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt raph #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt leo #rottmnt x reader #fanfiction #Spotify

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fueledbyapplepi · 3 years ago

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I love your writing it's so good!!! Could I have reader having a crush on the boys and giving them a kiss while they think the boys are asleep and confessing their love to them with mikey, chifuyu and the haitani brothers? Im just so soft for those boys!!!

Sleep Tight | Mikey, Chifuyu, Ran, and Rindou

- Confessing to the boys while they're (not really) asleep

genre: 🌸 fluff 🌸

warnings: minor cussing

A/N: Thank you, anon! I really got into writing this one ( ◜‿◝ )♡ Also, I honestly think I need to come up with better titles because it sounds like a word vomit to me LMAO Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!

Mikey (Sano Manjiro)

Life would be nice if you had someone by your side who felt the same way about you.

You already have Mikey by your side, making every day much easier to get by. But does he feel the same way with you?

You practically grew up together with Mikey. Being neighbors with the man, you often come by to play with them as kids- leading to a blooming friendship. Although more often, it was you watching Mikey train in his grandfather’s dojo, where he never fails to amaze you with his tricks. Sometimes, you’ll have sleepovers together with Emma and Mikey where you’ll watch movies with them. Only for Mikey to be sound asleep halfway through the movie.

Growing up, nothing has changed that much with that routine. The only thing that has changed is your growing feelings for Mikey.

You saw the ups and downs in his life. From the time he established Toman to losing Shinichiro, you were there to witness how he would build a castle from the rocks of his downfalls.

So it was no surprise that you find your heart beating much faster when he’s around.

Childish as he is, you can’t deny the fact that Mikey is charismatic, beautiful, and kind. But, you never had the chance to tell him what you feel. Because what if he never saw you the same way?

You looked at Mikey, who’s currently sitting by your side almost half asleep. His head swings from side to side as he struggles on whether he should watch the movie or not.

“Mikey, you always never get to finish our movie nights. You’re no fun.” Emma pouted at his brother as she turned off the television.

“Mhmm, not sleepy.” Mikey turned to look at you then at Emma before leaning on your shoulder. “Just a little.”

Your heart flutters from close contact. “Maybe he’s tired from one of Toman’s meetings.” You turned to look at Emma with a sorry face

Sighing, Emma stepped out of the room as she looked at you, “I’ll get us a blanket, wait here Y/N.”

Your face felt hot as you realized that you were left alone in the room with Mikey. Well, this isn’t unusual for you two but with the strong feelings you have for him, you just can’t help but blush.

You looked at Mikey, his eyelashes seemed a bit longer, making his eyes more beautiful. His lips, although chapped, pouted with the way he’s comfy with you.

“Mikey, can you stop being so pretty? It makes me want to kiss you,” you whispered, thinking that Mikey’s probably dozing off to dreamland.

Mikey opened out one of his eyes to take a peek at you. All the sleepiness vanishing from his body. Did he just hear you right? “Then kiss me, Y/N.”

“Heh? Mikey, you’re awake?” you felt embarrassment creeping into you. “Mikey...I...look, sorry. I-”

Your blabbering mouth was silenced with a peck on the lips. Mikey kissing all your worries away.

“I like you too, Y/N.” He smiled as he leaned closer to you. Your foreheads touching and nose brush against each other.

You felt like you’re on cloud nine. Is this real? Mikey likes you too?

Before you could say anything, the door opened with Emma looking at the two of you weirdly. “Hehhh, am I interrupting something?”

You and Mikey looked at Emma. An embarrassed look on both of your faces as if you were caught red-handed.

Now, there’s a lot of explaining to do.

Chifuyu Matsuno

No matter how many times you try, you always seem to lose.

But who won’t?

With Chifuyu’s angelic smile and kind eyes, your determination to admit your feelings for him always seems to waver. It’s just that your thoughts always fly out the window and anxiousness gets the best of you.

You’ve known Chifuyu for quite some time now. Baji, who’s your cousin, introduced him to you as Toman’s 1st Division Vice-Captain and most trusted partner. Of course, it was only natural for you to be wary of him. Baji might trust him, but he could be some sort of drug dealer or serial killer. Who knows?

You’re wrong though. The more time you spend with Chifuyu, the more you appreciate his presence. How can you not? He always lends you a helping hand whenever you need it. As cliche as it sounds, Chifuyu is like the knight and shining armor in your life.

And now here he is. Once again saving you from another horrible situation.

Chifuyu offered you a ride when he found you drenched from the rain in Shinagawa. Apparently, the weather wouldn’t be pleasant today but you forgot to read the weather forecast. Currently, he brought you to his home for the meantime as the rain wouldn’t be stopping until tomorrow.

“I’ll just text and let Baji-san know that you’ll be staying here.” Chifuyu handed you a blanket as he laid on his futon.

“Thank you, Chifuyu. But I swear it’s okay for me to sleep there. This is your bed anyway.” You said embarrassed.

Chifuyu yawned. Tiredness dropping from his eyes. “It’s alright, Y/N. I can’t let Baji-san’s pretty cousin sleep on the floor.” He smiled at you with a faint blush on his cheeks.

You laid on the bed silently. Blushing from his compliment. Did he just call you beautiful?

You looked at the ceiling for about a good minute before turning to Chifuyu. “Chifuyu-san, I-”

A soft sleeping figure cut you off. The light from the lamp outside reflected on his beautiful features.

You padded off your feet on the floor and sat right next to Chifuyu. Observing him, you notice that he looks prettier when he’s peaceful like this.

You hesitatingly brushed your fingers on his hair. While massaging it, you can’t help but feel overwhelmed by your emotions. “I like you, Chifuyu-san.” You smiled proudly at yourself as you finally got to admit your feelings even though he’s asleep.

However, you noticed that the sleeping figure in front of you stiffened and reddened from your statement. Eyes wide, you held a hand in your mouth.

“Chifuyu-san, are you awake?” You hoped that he wasn’t.

But apparently, he is. “I guess you caught me.” Chifuyu sat up and scratched his head as he smiled at you sheepishly. “That felt nice though.”

“I’m sorry!” You bowed your head, hair hiding your flustered state.

“I like it!” Chifuyu panicked. “I mean, no. I like it. But, I like you too, Y/N-san.”

You laughed. At the same time, feeling extremely happy from what you just had heard.

“I guess we have some explaining to do with Baji-san.” you teased him

“Mhmm. But,” he held your hand and put it into his hair. “Would you continue that?” Chifuyu smiled.

“Of course.” You smiled at him, continuing your hair massages.

Looks like you won this time.

Ran Haitani

You’re no medical expert. The only knowledge you got was based on textbooks and first aid knowledge.

Yet somehow, Ran would always come knocking on your door whenever he has cuts or injuries. Sometimes, even without one, he would come by at your place and complain that his body is painful.

And it’s one of those nights again as you hear a soft knock on the door.

Moving to Roppongi, you were warned about the Haitani brothers. How you must stay away from them because they’re just no good. However, you somehow managed to come across the elder Haitani while you were shopping at a local store when he asked you what hair dye he should use.

This little interaction moved from one way to the other and now, ever since Ran found out where you live, he always comes by to let you heal his “injuries”.

You’re not complaining though. Despite the rumors and warnings, Ran was much more different from what other people say. He may be cocky and teasing, but the beautiful man sure is nice when it comes to you.

Causing you to develop a little crush on him.

You opened the door as you welcomed Ran. “Now, what do we have for tonight?”

Ran stepped in as he walked towards the couch. Laying as if he lives around here. “I got a bump on my forehead.” He pointed out as he pouted at you.

“You have Rindou! And you call yourself notorious but you come here whining like a baby.” you rolled your eyes as you got in the kitchen getting an ice pack for the man.

“Here.” You handed out the ice pack as you stood up in front of him.

“No.” Ran rolled his eyes. “Kiss it, Y/N.” he pouted once again.

“You’re not a baby, Ran. Tch.” you sighed as you sat across him. “Take a nap here and I’ll cook for you when you wake up.”

“Now, wifey material aren’t we.” Ran teased as he closed his eyes. Holding the ice packet against his forehead.

About a good 10 minutes have passed and you never heard another bicker from Ran. As you look at him, the man seems to be sleeping like a log.

You crouched down near him. Observing his features. You must say, he’s quite beautiful and more attractive when less chaotic.

“You’re such a big baby.” Thinking that he’s asleep, you kissed the small bump on his forehead.

As you got up to prepare his late dinner, a hand clutched yours.

You felt your body freeze for a moment as you turned around and saw a bastard smiling cockily.

“Do it again, Y/N.” Ran grinned at you as he held on tighter on your hand. “I’m a big baby but your baby.”

“Let me go!.” your face was beat red as you tried to yank off your hands. Only failing as Ran grabbed your arms causing you to fall on top of him.

“I like you, Y/N” Ran hugged you tightly while you were a blushing mess on top of him. “So let's just stay like this for a while.”

And you did.

Being with Ran isn’t so bad after all.

Rindou Haitani

If there’s one thing you’re proud of, it’s the skill you have for coloring people’s hair.

You like dyeing your hair, your friend’s hair, your cousins, and to just anyone who asks for your help. So it was no surprise when Rindou asked you to help him in doing his highlights.

Of course you can’t say no. Not because he is a Haitani but because you actually like his presence. When you’re around him, everything seems more calm and peaceful.

Despite being a menace around Roppongi, you and Rindou are actually good friends. You’ve known each other when he saved your ass around a group of guys who tried to harass you. And although he was stoic to you at first, he was able to ease up to you because of your caring nature.

After all, you recognized him as Rindou Haitani and not “Ran’s younger brother”. And he appreciated you for it.

So now here you are in their living room. Currently finished in dyeing Rindou’s hair.

“And there you have it. We just have to wait for an hour or so before washing it.” You tidied all the mess up as Ran sat and observed you. “By the way, why won’t you let me dye Ran’s hair?”

He raised an eyebrow upon your question. “Because he can’t have you.” Your eyes widened from his statement. Rindou, realizing what he just said, covered it up with an excuse. “I mean, I want him to dye his own hair and let it look shit. If he wants someone to dye his hair properly, he can go to the salon.”

You laughed at his statement. Well, he can actually crack up jokes once in a while if he loosens up his strict facade. “Oh Rindou, we also need to buy an extra conditioner.”

You looked up and saw the man with closed eyes. Deciding that you don’t want to disturb his sleep, you sat quietly beside him and observed him.

Rindou is already handsome with his glasses. But you realized that he looks much cuter without one.

He just looks good in anything.

You traced the bridge of his nose as you admired his features. “You know what? I actually might have feelings for you.” you muttered softly as you smiled.

“Let’s go out on a date then.” Rindou opened his eyes as he looked at you. Your lips a few inches away from his.

“Rindou!!!” You sat up straight. “I thought you were-”

“Asleep? Well I’m not.” he smiled at you as reached out for your hand. “But I meant it Y/N. I like you, and I want us to go on a date.” Rindou looked at you, hoping for an immediate response.

He does like you. After all, you were the only person who he was able to open up to other than Ran.

“Okay.” You smiled as you brushed your thumb at the top of his hand.

Rindou caressed your cheeks. Leaning in and going for a kiss.

“Ohh. Can I join?” a teasing voice butted in. Causing you two to look at the tall man who’s leaning in the doorframe. “I mean can I join Y/N’s dye party? Just continue that later.”

“Ran, get out!” Rindou shouted as he pointed at the door to his brother.

Well, things quickly escalated with the brothers.

As well as your relationship with Rindou.

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