#and like -- i was having a miserable time earlier when i was trying to get to my mom's concert and it was dark and wet and there was NO...
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i miss carpisuns sometimes </3
#not necessarily that I regret switching over but i just get like nostalgic for an earlier time in the ml fandom#s3 was soooo much fun for me#and the long hiatus before s4 was also the best. so good wasn’t ready for it to end when it did haha#things just feel so different in the fandom now#both the fandom has changed and I have changed#and of course the STORY has changed#and I like don’t know what to do about that or how to react#cause I am used to being one of the guys who is defending ml’s honor with my life lol#committed to spreading positivity#and I still want to be that guy!#but it’s like. idk. I don’t recognize this story anymore#this isn’t the same story that I fell in love with years ago. but I don’t want to just like Leave??#I do want to see how things play out bc I am still invested in these characters#and I would love to still be part of the fan community and connect with people over a mutual love for this thing#that has been important to me for years and has inspired me to create and learn new skills and make new friends!#but I also don’t just want to shut up and pretend I’m happy about things I am decidedly unhappy about lol#like it’s honestly surprising to me that a only a small minority of the fandom seems to feel the way I do?#and the majority are still super pumped and frustrated at the people who are complaining#and really. I don’t WANT to rain on anyone’s parade. I honestly don’t#I was part of the parade for years! I had the best time in the parade! I don’t want to ruin the good time!#so i try not to be too salty on main ? but i feel like I’m going a little crazy lmao! like I’m just one bitter little miser fhdjjd#i mean i guess it’s kind of a good thing that I moved blogs tbh lol#cause now when i whine only a fraction of the people have to be exposed to it 😂#but man i hate knowing that people might think of me as a salter#I mean it’s valid if people are trying to have fun and do not want to hear my complaining haha#but also do i automatically have to be a salter. are the only options support and defend ml 100% at all times or Be A Salter#or can there be a third category of certified ml lover that is just disappointed in recent events & disagrees with the new writing direction#is that too much nuance for tumblr lol#see maybe that’s why I miss carpisuns. she didn’t have to ask this question. she was only full of LOVE!#but therein lies the irony…like marinette I have made this choice out of love…for what the story once was…what is to become of me now…
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sawyer was sick over the weekend so we got some blood tests done and it turns out she is diabetic, she stayed at the vet a couple of nights, it was really strange to be alone in my room those nights. i spend more time with her than anybody. then we were supposed to pick her up thursday morning and they said to come in the evening instead because her glucose was v low. the vet asked me to find a glucose sensor to bring with me that evening, it was a public holiday so i had to find a pharmacy that was actually open. when we went to get her we waited 90 minutes and the sensor was being weird so they said come back later. finally brought her back home at 11pm and the sensor still wasn't working, had to go buy another sensor and bring her back this morning to switch them out, had to leave her there for a few hours so they could switch them and make sure the new one worked, then come back in the afternoon. i've had like no sleep at all this week, its a miracle i kept my eyes open to get training to give her insulin. she's so much better since she came home, even though she's not stabilised yet she very clearly feels heaps better ❤ it was such a relief to have her sleeping on my bed again last night. i was still up all night because i felt like i needed to keep an eye on her because i didn't have the monitor. we'll be in and out a lot over the next couple of weeks while they fine tune her dosage and monitor her levels.
#i want to know when i get a break#had planed to use this week to catch up on the prof development course i enrolled in months ago that started the day before nonna passed#i hoped it would be a chance to really apply my mind to something because i feel like my brain is utterly degenerated#after the time i took off this week for this i won't be able to do any of it before it closes i'll just have to download the modules#and read them in my own time without doing any activities/participating in discussions#have to keep canceling my dental check up because things keep coming up#i've also spent the last few weeks trying to link my online tax account to my government services account but it says all my info is wrong#no matter what i give them#what do i need to do#my life updates are so miserable. i delete so many of the posts i start because they just depress me#i deleted two earlier this week#feel like i need to get something out so i keep coming back to try#i still haven't asked hr about whether we have that counselling service thing because i keep forgetting bc i always have so much to catch u#on#i'll try to remember to do it next week#tp
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OH, LOL, before I disappear again -- I have to mention something funny that happened at the bar last night. So there's this young chick who's kind of snotty to a lot of people and sometimes she's nice but you never know how she's going to be. She loves to harass the Karaoke DJ anytime there are a lot of people at the bar and the Karaoke queue is longer. I don't generally interact with her unless she's singing a song I love and then I'll go up and dance (like i do with anyone singing a song I love).
So in the Ladies' bathroom, the paper towel dispenser has been getting worse and worse, and the last several weeks it's had a LOT of trouble dispensing towels. And last night it really just wasn't working. So I use the bathroom after this girl and when I'm about to wash my hands and she's about to leave, she says "the paper towels are out," and I said, "oh, they've been jamming all night :)" and I thought that was a normal interaction given the context and I proceeded to wash my hands but she just stood behind me and stared at me and as i looked over my shoulder in the mirror to see why she was still standing there a full 5 seconds later, she goes, "goddamn, I was just trying to warn you, geez" in the shittiest, most self-righteous tone I have EVER heard, and I start to say, "oh, that wasn't me being shitty, I was commiserating", but she STALKED out of the bathroom, LITERALLY flipping her hair as she did so. And then like 30 minutes later she harassed the Karaoke DJ AGAIN, to the point he felt the need to RE-elaborate on mic to the whole bar AGAIN that the queue was an hour long and he wasn't just forgetting people. It was so fucking wild 😂 Like, sorry, babe -- I'm having a great time out here and you are SO miserable.
#and like -- i was having a miserable time earlier when i was trying to get to my mom's concert and it was dark and wet and there was NO...#...parking anywhere and then right after I got settled in a seat 3 minutes before the concert started these two very unaware old ladies...#...decided they needed to change their seat and i was JUST starting the process of decompressing and calming down before the...#...concert started and i had to grab all my stuff and try to stand up before they chose to squeeze by me (which i was unsuccessful at...#...because they started moving past me before i could stand up and i was unable to stand up all the way because the pews are...#...VERY close together and they were already standing in the space my body would have to be in to be able to move for them.)#and like. when that happened? i just stood ip and did my best to let the ladies past while i grimaced at my hamstring cramping from.#...standing up quickly at a WEIRD angle and trying not to fall back down into the seat and take 2 old ladies with me. like. i didn't say...#...anything shitty to them even though they didn't give me ANY time or warning to move out of their way. i just did my best to get out of...#...their way. and i failed but i fucking TRIED you know????#and then later that night some miserable bitch decides to be shitty to me and the Karaoke DJ when no one was actually being...#...shitty to her. it was literally just circumstance.#fucking wild.#don't be that guy.#personal#not tagged
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it happened so early in the morning and i am STILL frothing with rage over this text my boss sent me
#unreasonable unbelievable targeting me bullshit like what is your problem what is your PROBLEM#are you punishing me preemptively for telling you i'm going back to school? LOL? cuz sure That makes me wanna stay!#i am splitting so viciously on her right now and i can't even care to wish i wasn't#this was the last fucking straw mentally for me on Trusting This Boss#and i sure as shit can't trust the one above her#i am soooo mad i am so mad i am so mad i am so mad#i just want to be transferred out already and start part time work somewhere else NOW#if i can leave earlier i fucking will#i will be without insurance for a bit but i can try to get on some fast#i just. ooh! ooooh!!!! you little fucker!!!!!!!!#i cannot trust a single person in the front of the building anymore#and i have to sit next to my least favorite person in the back now#and i am just. utterly miserable right now i am Miserable at this job that isn't even as bad as it could be#but holy shit the petty condescending bullshit is driving me fucking up the wall#i can't look at any of them!!!! without feeling intense hatred!!!!#i have no social life outside of work and i can't talk to ANYONE there about this because it'd just find its way back to her!!!!#i can't tell HR because it's not that serious! except it's driving my mental health into a tailspin!#but i still can't tell anyone!!!!!!!! because what proof do i have that she's singling me out!#even tho she has NEVER FUCKING DONE THIS TO OR ABOUT OTHER PPL#i can't Prove that and i sure as shit can't sit down with her and talk to her about my feelings#no job is ever fucking safe to do that in#i just want to walk into a river honestly like i need work so i can pay for college but i wanna be in college already and be Out of here#i just wanna skip to the END of college when i'm actually able to be a nurse and i can feel less like the butt monkey at work#i hate hate HATE being at the bottom of the totem pole i am literally nothing there even though they need me to function#but oh my gd the Looks people give me when i walk in a room like they expect bad news or to be annoyed#sorry for asking questions! would you rather i fuck up and you have to clean up the mess?#i clean up everyone else's messes all day!#they ARE going to feel it when i am not there anymore#you'd think they wouldn't be such cunts to me now but Nope. nope! almost All cunts.#i am so fucking angry at my boss in particular though that text fucking triggered rage i haven't felt in months
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I'm seriously hanging on by a thread right now I might just go drop dead 😭
#work has just been really overwhelming today I'm going to crack#I hate people#I almost broke down in front of the usher manager today because our radio died while we were falling behind becaus3#one of the theatres got out slightly late and set us back for like 45 minutes because everything was gettinf out one on top of the other#on complete opposite ends of the theater#amd it's not a small building guys#and I was already angry because there was a huge spill in a theater earlier I had to get a mop for and it was a pain in the ass#then we started falling behind and when we fall behind I get really stressed so I jad to ask the usher manager for help to catch up when we#were switching radios and even with his help we didn't catch back up until JUST NOW because we're on a 30 minute set break#and I've jusy been stressing and running around the theater and I want to go home and cry and drop dead#I'm so hot and tired and drained amd my legs have been sore for DAYS and this is NOT helping and I hate it here and I qant a real job#like I'm fucking 24 years old this shouldn't be the best I can do but trying to find anything else to get out of here has been IMPOSSIBLE#and I just feel so hopeless and helpless and trapped and miserable#I'm so angry and sad and tired and in pain and miserable all the time now#and it's awful and I hate it I don't wanna be that wah anymlre#I can't even type oh my god#I'm dying#abby's having a crisis
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last few hours in boston :(
#purrs#conference tag#we literally just got here and now we have to go 😭💔 i havent rly felt as enriched by this conference as i have in the past (though there’s#still 2 more sessions to go to incl the closing plenary and we’re getting lunch in the station before the train ride home) but ive walked#around so much and have spent time with people i love and some people i miss. and have been on adventures i have been looking forward to for#a rly long time though i am kinda bummed i never made it down to fanueil square. but… idk what happiness feels like anymore but maybe for me#it’s just absence of misery and despair. or contented ness. i have gotten a little triggered from time to time these last few days and ive b#been lonely in my hotel room but MAN it has been nice to not be miserable and suffering and to take walks and to not go to every session (ev#even though i do feel bad abt it like i missed 2 plenaries and an afternoon concurrent session which is more than i usually miss) and to#be in this city which feels so much like brighton and so uncity like in some ways. it’s so charming and omg i went to harvard and it was#NOTHING like what i imagined it to be / feel like.. just a quaint artsy quirky town. and the rest of the places ive been have been like that#too. and people LIVE here every day!!!!! there’s a big beautiful world here both above ground and below!!!! and im gonna be late to#breakfast but… i just feel nourished and healed in a way i wasn’t expecting to. I haven’t been this far away from home in 3+ years and#it’s just been really nice being somewhere else and going on adventures and seeing things surviving. i miss my grandparents a lot and im sad#to not be visiting them and to be unable to visit them now lol but it’s just rly nice and special being here. im goingto miss it so much and#im trying to savor every second. i wish we had one more day here and im a little sad to be going home lol#* what i meant when talking about happiness earlier is that i think… i have been happy these last few days. for the first time in a really#really long one. and that’s nice. it’s good to be happy again. and good to be here
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...
#i was supposed to spend the last 2 days prepping and relaxing for the start of this big project tomorrow#but ive spent thr last 2 days frantically coding as fast as i could and focusing v hard to get a lot of bullshit done#and ive fixed things since yesterday. the changes i had to make were too too bad bc the thing that went wrong was so fucking weird#but it should be okay by tomorrow. knock on wood. but this does mean ive done fuck all to prep for tomorrow#so we r winging it bby. ugh. just gotta fucking pray that everything goes ok. pls let nothing b broken and let everything seal properly 🙏#i was also supposed to meet with my boss today. probably for her to make sure i dont fuck up this project but apparently their safety hood#was having an emergency... whatever that means. so im sure shes having a week as well. and im free to fuck everything up for everyone#ugh. im so. theres a certain point in burning out where youre not really in pain anymore. you dont really feel anything all your joy and#hope dissolves away and u just exist to be useful. and i feel like its easier to maintain that than trying to b happy#i do not advise that bc its a fucking miserable. wasteful way to live but i dont really have time to try for anything better#god. i really hope my measurements friday dont take a full 8hrs. i dont know if i can handle that. literally i would have stay intensely#focused with my brain being Interrupted every 5min so i can manually record data points. its gonna b agony#so that fun. but maybe it wont. maybe itll be great and fun and ill have a wonderful time. seems unlikely but ya never kno#lets not think abt the fact that having to rush all this is preventing me from being able to do all thr other bullshit i need to get done#to prepare for the future. future? what future? hard to imagine from the bottom of this pit im digging myself#sigh. in a few months i can leave this place and never come back. soon but not soon enough#lol i was literally crying listening to cold play earlier bc idk thats the type of music my parents would put on at parties in summertime#so it evokes a v specific mood. which is i guess me hiding away from ppl at parties haha#back when i didnt have to worry abt things so much and i could just listen to the frogs chirping and watch the fireflies#oh god. now my boss is asking if i reached out for help tomorrow. no. lady i would rather drink bleach than have to direct an undergrad#tomorrow. its 10pm im fucking tired. just let me be sad. did i reach our for help? no my brain is on fire#tomorrow is gonna b a long day ugh#unrelated
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3:00 am
☆Genre: Smut 18+ MDNI
☆Pairing: roommate!Seonghwa x fem!reader
☆Word Count: 4.1k
☆Warning: pwp (?), gentle/soft Seonghwa, unprotected sex (be safe horny ppl), needy reader, fingering (f receiving), pet names (princess, baby), some dirty talk, praise, fucked from behind, (lmk if I missed anything) if you see any typos no you don’t
☆Summary: It’s late and you’re too horny to sleep. Luckily you find your roommate up late as well. Come to your surprise he’s willing to help you.
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You let out an exaggerated sigh of annoyance, shifting on your back after tossing and turning for a while. You stare up at the dark ceiling, admitting defeat after trying to fall asleep and failing miserably. You checked the time, looking over at the clock on your bedside table.
3:04 am
It was late at night, and here you are laying restless on the bed, aching between your legs. You didn’t know why, but you just felt so horny. Earlier you tried to do something about it, but your fingers weren’t enough to get you close. You tried to ignore the feeling between your legs, but every time you shut your eyes images of dirty scenarios pop into your head.
You kick the covers off you, the cold night air biting into the flesh of your bare legs. You slowly pull yourself off the bed, well if you couldn’t sleep might as well get yourself a little snack. You stepped out the room and into the hallway, quietly walking past your roommate, Seonghwa’s room.
You cocked your head to the side when you noticed a small light emanating from underneath his door. Oh, Seonghwa is awake, why is he up so late? You knock on the door and slowly turn the knob when you hear a low “Come in”, from the other side.
Seonghwa sat at his desk, lamp shining brightly beside him. He was wearing his black, silk pajamas, back facing you as he focused on the legos in his hands. You roll your eyes, entering his room and sitting on his bed.
“Are you really building legos at 3 am?”
“Yup,” he says popping the ‘p’ sound.
“Why?”
“Can’t sleep,” he shrugs.
“That makes two of us,” you mumble.
You plop backwards on his mattress, arms sprawled out on the covers and you hear Seonghwa chuckle deeply.
“Why can’t you sleep?”
You pause for a moment, well you certainly can’t tell him the real reason. ‘Oh well I’m so horny, it’s preventing me from sleeping.’ Seonghwa doesn’t need to know that.
“Just… restless.”
You hear a small scoff coming from Seonghwa, he still doesn’t turn your direction. He was too fixated on attaching one of the Lego pieces together in the correct spot.
“I don’t believe you.”
You propped yourself on your elbows to look at Seonghwa, shooting him a confused look.
“What?”
“You’re a horrible liar.”
He puts the legos down and finally turns around in his chair to face you.
“What’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything.”
You seriously debate if you should tell the truth or not. I mean, you and Seonghwa have talked about personal stuff before. You guys have lived with each other for while now so you know each other like the back of your hands. Seonghwa raises his brows at you, watching you intently as you pondered.
You let out a sigh and sit up straight. Seonghwa turned his chair around so he could face you better.
“Well… ugh, don’t laugh okay.”
“I’m not gonna laugh, what’s up?”
You take a deep breath, cheeks started to feel warmer from what you were about to say.
“I’m just… horny. So I can’t sleep.”
Seonghwa blinked at you, a little taken aback by your words.
“Oh.”
You let out a groan, falling back on the bed and grabbing a pillow to hide your face in. You heard Seonghwa chuckle a little and you kicked him.
“I said don’t laugh.”
“I’m not laughing at you. You have me worried for a second, I thought it was gonna be something serious.”
“This is serious!”
Your voice was muffled from the pillow, Seonghwa couldn’t help but find your embarrassment endearing.
“Just go masturbate or something.”
“I tried, but I couldn’t get close.”
You finally sit up, throwing the pillow back on the bed. Your body slumped forward as you frowned.
“Don’t you have some sort of vibrator or something?”
“It’s dead and I lost the charger,” your mumbled.
Seonghwa laughs softly again, he reached up to ruffle your hair and you glared at him.
“Seonghwa, stop that.”
You shoo’s his hand away and he smiles.
“Well I don’t know what to tell you. Just try to ignore it.”
He sits back in his chair crossing his arms. You glare at him again, not enjoying the smug look on his face.
“You want me dead.”
“So dramatic,” he rolls his eyes.
Seonghwa thinks for a moment while you sulk on his bed. He bit his lip, taking in a breath before speaking.
“Well… I have an idea, but i don’t know how you’ll feel about it.”
Your head perks up, at his words. You felt like you were so desperate for release that you would do anything so you could sleep.
“What is it? I’ll do anything at this point.”
“Well… maybe you need a helping hand.”
You cock your brow up, what did he mean by that?
“Helping hand?” You ask slowly.
“Yeah, a second person…”
Your heart started to race a bit faster. What did Seonghwa mean by that? And why was his request only making the ache between your legs grow stronger.
Seonghwa stared blankly at you, waiting for your reply. He rolls his eyes when you remain silent, he can see you weren’t fully grasping his words.
“I’m saying you need to be fucked.”
“I mean… yeah I do but I don’t necessarily have anyone. Especially since it’s 3 in the morning.”
“I can do it.”
Now it was your turn to stare blankly at him. You body froze and your eyes wide, but on the inside you were screaming ‘WHAT THE FUCK SEONGHWA? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’LL DO IT? WAIT, WHY DO I WANT TO SAY YES?’
Seonghwa snaps his fingers at you while calling your name. You snap back to reality, not realizing that you just short circuited.
“Sorry for a second there I thought you said you would fuck me.”
“I did.”
“Seonghwa!”
“What?! I’m just trying to help. Look if you don’t want to that’s perfectly fine.”
Seonghwa waves his hands in defense, feeling a little embarrassed for suggesting such a thing. He was ready to just pretend like nothing happened and shrug off your rejection, but then you spoke.
“I never say I didn’t want to.”
Seonghwa looked back at you, feeling his heart race faster at your words. He clears his throat and stands up off the chair. You look up at him, suddenly feeling small while he towered over your sitting form.
“Then, let’s get started. The faster we finish the faster you get to sleep.”
Seonghwa sat on the bed, back pressed against the head board as he gestured you to come sit in his lap. Your body moved on auto pilot, crawling over to him and straddling his lap.
“Are you sure this is okay, Seonghwa?”
“It’s okay, I’m just trying to help my friend. If you don’t want this.. just tell me and I’ll stop.”
You felt his fingers graze your cheek as he cupped your jaw. You were already so needy that the gentle touch sent electricity through your body.
“No… I want this. I need this.”
“Alright then.”
Seonghwa smiles feeling relieved at your words. He looked down at your body, admiring how you looked in your oversized shirt and small shorts. His hands ran up your bare thighs, he chuckled when he sees the goosebumps rising up on your skin.
“You look very pretty like this. I always love it when you wear these small shorts.”
His hands reach up to grip your hips. The small touches make you feel more needy, and you couldn’t help it when a whine escaped your lips.
“Seonghwa, please I need you now. Don’t tease me.”
Seonghwa pouts at you, brushing your hair out of your face. He shows mercy, after all you’ve been needy for so long (he also couldn’t wait any longer, he needed to feel you.)
“Aww baby, don’t fret.”
He leans forward, placing soft kisses on your neck. You reach up, gripping at the silk material of his pajama shirt. You let out a sigh, enjoying the feeling of his plump lips on your hot skin. He gripped your hips to pull you closer and you let out a small yelp.
Your pussy ached, Seonghwa swore he could feel you throbbing through the thin material of your clothes. That made him feral, he didn’t know what took over him when he gripped your shorts and pulled them down your hips.
You gasped, shifting slightly so Seonghwa could slide the shorts off your legs. You let out another whine when his long, cold fingers slid through your wet folds. Seonghwa groaned against your neck.
“Fuck you’re so wet baby.”
“I told you I’m horny.”
“You’re so cute.”
His praises only make you feel even needier. His voice was so soft when he spoke to you and his warm breath against your neck sent shivers down your spine. You gently pulled at the hair on the nape of his neck when he licked a warm strip on your jaw.
You felt Seonghwa slowly rub circles on your clit with ease. You couldn’t help it when your hips started to grind down against his fingers, his digits sliding against your folds in the best way possible.
“Oh you’re such a needy girl grinding on my fingers like that.”
You nod and hummed in agreement. Never in a million years did you think your roommate would be touching you this way, but right now you didn’t care. All you cared about was Seonghwa and his gentle touches. The whole time you were enjoying yourself Seonghwa was admiring you, you’re so beautiful it’s mesmerizing.
“Why don’t you say it for me princess?”
“Hm?”
“Tell me you’re my needy girl.”
You felt your core ache with need at his words. Subconsciously, you began to grind harder on his fingers, your hips moving faster the more you grew desperate. Seonghwa smiles to himself at the sight, feeling his own arousal building up in his pants.
“I’m your… needy girl Seonghwa. Please take care of me.”
Seonghwa groaned at the sound of your voice. He pulled his fingers away, grabbing your hips and gently moving you on the bed. Your body felt like putty at this point that you moved without resistance, letting Seonghwa control your body however he wanted.
“You sound so pretty, I’m gonna take real good care of you okay? Then you can sleep so well.”
The only response you could muster was a small whine and a nod. Seonghwa didn’t mind though, he knew you were probably already too lost to even form words.
Seonghwa had you laying on your stomach, you cheek pressed against the pillow and your legs spread wide. His hands slid down your body, cupping your ass while he placed a soft kiss on your shoulder blade.
“Can you move your hips up darling?”
You nod, moving your hips while Seonghwa pulled you up simultaneously. You were now ass up, legs spread wide and pussy on full display. What a sight for sore eyes. Seonghwa couldn’t feel his dick twitching in his pants just by looking at you.
He noticed the way your folds glistened with arousal, he moaned at the sight, taking two fingers and sliding them in with ease.
You whine in the pillow, rocking your hips on his fingers. He slowly started to pump them in and out, holding your hips to keep your still.
“You’re so wet… and warm. What got you this horny in the first place?”
You shrug, turning your head to speak clearer.
“I don’t know…. I just started to feel this way. But once you began to touch me…”
You let out whines between your word and Seonghwa watched you endearingly. He smiled at you softly as he continued to thrust his fingers as deep as they can go.
“Did my touch make you more needy?”
You let out a long whine, nodding against the pillow. Seonghwa felt his whole body ignite with desire at your reaction. He needed you, badly. And the fact that you felt the same was doing something to Seonghwa.
He wanted to keep touching you, and give you all the pleasure you deserve. But the more he looked at you and the more he played with you, he just grew too needy. And by the way your hips were desperately trying to fuck back against his fingers, he’s confident to say you were feeling the same.
“Oh god. I’m gonna fuck you now. Is that okay?”
You nodded eagerly, gripping tightly to the bedsheets beneath you.
“Yes yes please. I can’t wait any longer.”
Seonghwa chuckled at your neediness. He slowly pulled his fingers out, groaning when he saw the slick of your arousal glisten on them.
“I got you princess, I won’t make you wait.”
He pulled the waistband off his pajama pants down to his mid thigh. He grabbed hold of the base, his dick literally throbbing in his hand. He rubbed his red tip against your hole making him moan and you whimper at the feeling.
“I can’t wait to feel you baby. I’m gonna put it in,” he warned.
Once he saw you nod against the pillow he was ready to go. Seonghwa placed his hand flat on the small of your back, the head of his cock prodded at your hole before he slowly pushed it in.
You let out a gasp, finally feeling what you’ve been yearning for all night. Seonghwa took in a sharp breath, head falling back as he slowly pushed his dick inside you. You were both letting out long moans, and you felt you legs start to tremble already.
Seonghwa wasn’t the biggest in the world, but god did he feel amazing. He was the perfect size just for you, and when he fully bottoms out and you feel his pelvis pressed against your ass, you were filled just right. No pain, no discomfort, just bliss.
“Oh my god,”you whispered.
You both stayed that way for a moment, Seonghwa leaned forward with his chest flushed against your back. His arm wrapped around your waist as he pulled you impossibly closer and you can feel his warm breath on the nape of your neck.
“You have the most perfect pussy. Feels so good,” he mumbled.
You were going to reply, but your words got caught in your throat when you felt Seonghwa start to rock his hips back and forth. Your whole body was filled with pleasure and you felt your mind start to cloud. Seonghwa rested his hands on either side of your head, hovering over you. He chuckled when he saw your expression change from desperate needy, to a blissed out face.
He was so close you could feel his long hair tickling your cheek. He leaned down to kiss your head, whispering praises in your ear. His room was filled with lewd moans, the bed squeaking and hitting the wall. But his favorite, was the sound of his cock pounding deep inside your wet pussy. He tried to keep his own moans down, wanting to only hear yours, but it was hard when you started to clench around him.
You gripped at the pillow beneath you, hiding your face in it and letting out muffled moans. Seonghwa was fucking you just right, hitting all the spots you could never reach on your own. Seonghwa tsked at you, watching the way you hide away into the pillow.
“No no baby let me hear your pretty moans.”
You whine, turning your head to the side to let out clearer moans. Seonghwa pulled away, you felt a rush of air hit your skin. You already missed his touch. You turned to look over your shoulder, ready to let out a protest. But before you could Seonghwa gripped tightly to your hips and drilled into you.
You let out a yelp and you head fell back on the pillow. The bed squeaked louder beneath you, it wouldn’t be a shock if you hear a complaint from the neighbors the next morning. You reached behind you to grip Seonghwa’s hip, pulling him against you to feel him even deeper.
Seonghwa groaned, he was mesmerized at the sight of you sucking up his length with ease. He watched intently, grabbing the flesh of your ass and spreading them apart to give him a better view.
“That’s it baby take my dick, you deserve it. You deserve to get fucked.”
“Seonghwa you fuck me so good. I love it… please don’t stop.”
“I’m not gonna stop princess. Not when you look this good…fuck and feel this good.”
Your legs trembled uncontrollably and Seonghwa noticed. He cooed at the sight rubbing his hand against your back.
“Aw baby are you getting tired?”
You whine, nodding with a small pout. You felt so weak your legs would give out in any moment. He chuckled, pushing you down on the mattress.
“Lay down pretty girl, you did so good just lay there and take it.”
You whimpered, your body fell fully on the bed but Seonghwa didn’t stop. He repositioned himself she could fuck you at the new angle. He hovered over you again, resting his weight on his hands beside you head, You whined and cried into the pillow, you couldn’t control any of the sounds leaving your lips. At this point you didn’t care that it was near 4 am, and neither did Seonghwa.
With the new position you felt impossible tighter around Seonghwa’s dick. He wasn’t gonna last very long, he grunted loudly cursing in your ear. You felt your own orgasm creep up, you have never came from another man fucking you. Seonghwa just felt so good, he filled you up just right it was like his dick was made for you.
You reach up behind you, cupping the back of Seonghwa’s neck. Seonghwa leaned in to kiss your cheek, jaw, neck any place he could reach.
“Seonghwa baby I’m close. Please don’t stop please I’m gonna cum for you.”
Seonghwa groaned at your words, his own orgasm dangerously close as well.
“Yeah? You gonna cum for me? Cum on my dick.”
You moaned louder, nodding your head. You turned you head back to the best of you abilities. You and Seonghwa stared into each others eyes, you don’t know what came over you, but the way his lips parted while he panted and his brows furrowed with pleasure. You couldn’t stop yourself when you pulled him down to connect your lips together.
Seonghwa moaned in the kiss, gripping your jaw with one hand. He snakes it down to wrap around your neck. He didn’t apply pressure, he just wanted to hold it there. A small reminder that right now you were his. The moment you felt Seonghwa slide his tongue in your mouth you were ready to be pushed off the edge.
Seonghwa whimpered when you tightened around him, he knew your were close. He needed to see it, needed to see you unwind on his cock. He whispered against your lips in a low seductive voice.
“Cum for me baby, you deserve it.”
And with that, your body let go. You pulled away to fall against the mattress, hiding in the pillow as you moaned loudly in it. Your body felt like it was on fire, and your eyes rolled in the back of you head. Seonghwa gripped tightly to your hip when he felt you cum on his cock. His own hips faltered, and he pulled out to release hot cum all over your ass and lower back. His moans were so beautiful, so soft yet sexy.
You felt like you were on cloud nine, panting against the pillow with your body feeling weak. Seonghwa stared at you, fucked out and limp on his bed. He chuckled breathlessly, leaning in to kiss your shoulder.
“Good girl.”
You let out a weak whine, the sound being muffled by the pillow. He pushed your hair to the side, leaning in to kiss the back of your neck. He caressed your body in a soothing manner, that was probably the best sex he’s ever had and little did he know you were thinking the same thing.
Seonghwa reached to his bedside drawer to pull out some baby wipes. You shivered when the cold, wet wipes made contact to your skin while Seonghwa cleaned you up. You giggle against the pillow, turning back to look at Seonghwa.
“Thank you.”
Seonghwa smiled back at you, throwing the soiled wet wipe in the trash. He adjusted your shirt so it could cover your body again, giving your some decency. You giggle at the action and shift around so you were on your back. Seonghwa pushed his hair behind his ear, trying not to look at you body (even though he just fucked you against the mattress). You noticed him suddenly get shy, and you reached up to hold his hand.
“I enjoyed it, thank you Seonghwa.”
“Me too.”
Seonghwa smiled brightly at you. He grips your hand tightly, holding it in his lap. You both suddenly felt a weird tension in the air. Did that really just happen? You sit up, scooting closer to Seonghwa.
Seonghwa stared into you eyes, he wanted to reach up and kiss you again but he didn’t want to possibly make you uncomfortable (again, he was just thrusting his dick in you a few seconds ago). You both stared at each other for a moment, having a new revelation about one another.
“So… that was new.” Seonghwa spoke.
You giggled and nodded. You could see Seonghwa relax a bit at the sound of your laugh.
“Very new.”
Seonghwa looked down at your hand in his. You followed his gaze and gripped his hand tighter.
“It was a good new,” you assured.
“Good.”
You both stare at each other again and you clear your throat when you notice the tension creep up again.
“Well, I’m actually really tired now. So thank you for helping me.”
Seonghwa nodded, almost forgetting the whole reason why this started in the first place. He felt a small pang of disappointment when you pulled your hand away and he felt you shift on the bed, ready to get up and go.
“Wait… you’re leaving?”
You looked back at Seonghwa’s, your heart ached when you saw the disappointment glint in his eyes.
“I just thought maybe you would want me to sleep in my room.”
“No, stay here. Sleep with me.”
He gripped your hand again to pull you closer. You felt relief at his words, glad he didn’t want you to go. You stood in front of him, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“If you’re okay with it then… I will.”
Seonghwa chuckled, pulling you back in bed. You squealed at the sudden action and you felt the fluffy pillow beneath your head.
“Obviously I’m okay with it. Don’t treat me like one of your one night stands.”
You giggle at his words, you pulled him down so he could hover over you. You cup his cheek and hold him close.
“No I would never do that. Besides I live with you I have to see you.”
Seonghwa chuckles. He glanced at your lips, wanting to kiss them again. He pushed your hair out of you eyes, his touch was so gentle it made your stomach flip. You could tell he was getting shy again, damn he’s so cute.
“Seonghwa you don’t need to act bashful. You just fucked me so deep and now you’re too shy to kiss me.”
Seonghwa bursted out laughing at your remark, hiding his face in your neck. He felt his ears burn in embarrassment.
“Leave me alone,” he whined.
You chuckled, pulling him up and placing a soft kiss on his lips. He kissed you back immediately, cupping your cheek gently. How could he be so caring and soft when a few minutes ago he was passionately thrusting into you. Now that’s a man with duality.
“Let’s go to bed, it’s really late.” Seonghwa mutters against your lips.
You nod, pulling Seonghwa in for one last kiss.
“Okay.”
————————————————————————
The next morning you woke up in bed, but it wasn’t your bed. Deliriously, you examined Seonghwa’s room, it was dim due to the curtains shutting out the bright morning sun. You were a little sad when you felt the bed was empty with only you in it. You picked up the phone to read the time but you were met with a text from Seonghwa.
Nerd (Seonghwa): Sorry I had to leave for dance practice :( I had fun last night though, I’ll see you when I get home <3
You smile after reading the text, plopping back down on Seonghwa’s bed with a content sigh.
“Damn it Seonghwa. What did you just start?”
~
a/n: I’m writing a new fic and I’m really excited about it >_< (ofc it’s another Mingi one Oop- who should I write about next?)
#ateez imagines#ateez fanfic#ateez smut#ateez#ateez oneshot#ateez x reader#smut#ateez fic#ateez hard thoughts#seonghwa fanfic#seonghwa#park seonghwa#seonghwa smut#seonghwa imagines#seonghwa hard thoughts#seonghwa hard hours
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“Have you ever tried this one?”
Chris Sturniolo x singer!reader
based on “Juno” by Sabrina Carpenter & ofc this request
in which; Chris can’t quite seem to hide his excitement whilst he watches you cover “Juno” on tour
✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖
It was the middle of your set, and as usual, it was time for the part where you let someone from the crowd request a song for you to cover. You scan the sea of fans until you spot a girl near the front ,waving excitedly. “What would you like me to sing love?” you ask, smiling at her. “Juno by Sabrina Carpenter!” she shouts, her voice small but confident.
“Ooo, good choice!” you reply, and the crowd erupts in cheers, clearly on board with her pick.
You ease into the song. By the time you hit the chorus, they’re fully into it. You know Chris is out there somewhere watching ,so you decide to mess with him a little. when you reach the line, “wanna try out some freaky positions” You lower yourself to your knees, the music pulsing through the stage beneath you, and as you sing, “have you ever tried this one?” you bring your chest down to the floor, arching your back ,as your sultry eyes lock with the camera, as it mirrors on the massive screens around the stadium. The crowd goes absolutely insane.
~
Later that night, you and Chris are back in your hotel room, wrapped up in each other as he praises your performance, his arm draped lazily over you. After a while, he says he’s heading for a shower, leaving you lying on the bed.
With nothing else to do, you grab your phone and start scrolling through TikTok. As you lazily swipe through, a familiar sound stops you-your own voice, coming from your phones speaker. Normally, you avoid watching clips of yourself from the tour. Something about seeing yourself perform always felt a bit strange, but this video was different.
It wasn’t of you—it was of Chris.
The clip showed your earlier performance of “Juno” playing in the background, but the camera was on Chris. As you sang the line, “have you tried this one?” while bending down and smirking into the camera, Chris’s reaction was caught perfectly.
His eyes were glued to the screen, his face flushing a deep red, mouth slightly agape in awe before curling into a smirk, clearly trying to keep his cool but failing miserably. He was utterly mesmerised. You couldn’t help but giggle as you rewatched it, heat rising in your own cheeks. You knew exactly what you were doing when you stared into that camera.
Scrolling down, you giggle even harder at the comments;
“Oh to be Y/N🥹”
“This made me feel so fckin single omg”
“I need a man that looks at me like Chris looks at Y/N fr”
“oh he’s GETTING IT tonight”
“i’ve NEVER seen him blush this hard?!??!”
Just as you’re stifling your giggles, Chris walks back in, towel wrapped low around his waist, hair damp and messy, falling into his eyes. He notices the look on your face and smirks back, a little confused. “What, ma?” he chuckles, his brow raised.
You sit up as he comes to sit beside you on the edge of the bed. You unlock your phone, bringing the video back up. You turn your phone to face him ,playing the video you’d found. His eyebrows furrow slightly at first at the sight of himself. As the video plays through, you watch as his expression almost shifts back into the blushing state the video showed. You giggle as he brings his hands up, dragging them over his face, almost hiding behind them.
“So you liked Juno then huh?” you tease
He finds your eyes, smirking, “oh, i loved Juno” he says, before reaching over and pulling you onto his lap in one quick effortless motion. You let out a laugh as you readjust your knees that are planted either side of him as his hands form a steady grip on your hips.
“Couldn’t take your eyes off that screen, could you?”
He shakes his head, leaning down to litter kisses in the crook of your neck. “Mmph-can you blame me? My girl knows how to put on a show”
✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖
a/n; thankyou for the request anonnn!!
more singer!reader here
MASTERLIST
taglist; @sturnobsessedwh0re @nayveetbhh
@phone4pills @demzzz @sturniooolos
@monroesturnns @mattsbitchh @pvssychicken @tsturniolo4 @brianna-grace12
@blahbel668
@stvrlighht @witchofthehour @ilyttmatsa @asherrisrandom @l0ver-i
@starstrucktyrantinfluencer @fratbrochrisgf @emely9274
@chriseatingmeoutin4k @slvttie-zx
@bbybloop @sturnn372 @chrissturnsss @slut4m4tt @izzylovesmatt @spideylovin
@sturniolossss @sturniolofannnforevver @zariyam @r0s3luvr
@sturniolosluttt
#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x you#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo fluff#sturniolo imagine#Spotify
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2079- vs 2075-2077 x
#the order of these is jumbled but thats bc i did the Current Times one first and then nat was like PLEASE DO WHEN THEY WERE A COUPLE NOW#anyway may i reintroduce to u. noight citays most stupid ex couple#verde genuinely being so sweet on him even tho he looks like a fucking foot until he grows some hair vs him just trying to climb saka#food chain like yessss give me opportunities (he doesn't even get That many from her) until he accidentally does fall in love with her#but by that point shes already uncovering some of the fucked up shit hes doing at work + all his past indiscretions and shes like Ok Bye .#and then they become bitter exes but she still doesn't like. want to hurt him she just wants him to leave her alone. for the most part#i don't feel like they even cross paths that often bc landon is so busy and is just. worlds most pathetic man.#and then he just is miserable over her for a very long time. Comedy. thats what u get for being a corpo bootlicker baby!!!!!#He could have had it all!!!!!#oc: verde#oc: landon#verde x landon#ocstuff#verde after they're all done like Man he Was a really good work husband :/ Shame his jokes fucking sucked AKWSHEGRSJDNKZAKDSGB#meanwhile landon like I like her as a person (lukewarm) and then fuck I DO like her as a person (genuine)#anyway. girlboss girlbreakup girlbreak his heart#Also I would like to offer u the funniest realization from earlier: Out of nat and I's gaggle of 7/7 ocs landon is the only straight one.
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something that never existed
Francis Mosses x male reader smut
1.4k words
This is really dark. Francis gives the reader a bottle of milk that makes him feel funny, follows him home, and then takes care of him.
It hits you during the middle of your shift. You aren’t sure of what, but the feeling of it has grown more intense each hour since it began. Pushing through the double doors is harder than when you did it this morning, your arms feeling heavy.
The cool evening air against your skin nearly has you moaning. Your skin burns, and the refreshing air makes you want to tear off your clothes. Each step against the pavement feels heavy as you slug your way to your home. If you were a passerby, you would probably be annoyed hearing the loud sound of your shoes against the sidewalk, but even though the noise filled your ears again and again, you could also hear the quieter steps of someone behind you.
Someone fucking drugged you. Or maybe something made it through the slot in your workstation. Or maybe–
You didn’t fucking know. All you knew was that because of it, you were half-hard by the time you made it to your front door.
“Are you following me?” You asked loudly as you leaned your sweaty forehead against your door. You panted against the door as you waited for a response. You laughed to yourself as you stuck your hand into your pocket to get your keys. Great, alongside the lust, you were also going crazy.
“You looked like you needed help. So yes, I followed you,” a voice said from behind you.
Your eyebrows drew together, trying to recognize the voice. It only took a few moments to pinpoint where you knew it from. You heard nearly a hundred voices a day at your job, but there was something about the man’s voice that was different and made it memorable.
You just couldn’t remember his name though. Frank? Fraser? Frederick? You didn’t really care to try and remember his name. You had more pressing matters, like picking up the keys you had finally pulled from your pocket and then dropped on the fucking ground.
“Let me,” Frank, Fraser, or Frederick says, his voice much closer behind you. “Here,” he says, now beside you.
You hold your hand out to accept the cold metal into your palm. You hope the man will just leave as you close your fingers around the keys and the sharp metal digs into your palm, but the man stays.
“I’m fine,” you say to the man, sticking the key into the knob with your shaky hands.
“Let me at least help you get inside,” the man responds, one of his hands moves to your shoulder, while the other goes to your waist to hold you upright.
“Fuck,” you whisper. Where he touches you somehow feels warmer than the rest of your body feels, even over your clothes. His voice brings you back to earlier in the day when he showed up to the window to be let in. You thought it was pretty weird for a milkman to deliver to his own apartment building, but it definitely wasn’t the weirdest thing you saw during your shift.
“Let me in?” He had asked you earlier that day. Through the window, you could see his carrier full of milk bottles, but you could also see an extra bottle in his other hand.
“Making an extra delivery for today?” You asked as you looked over the papers he gave you.
The man didn’t answer. He must not have heard you, you thought. He nodded in appreciation when you gave his papers back and pressed the button to unlock the door. You thought that was going to be that, but the man got your attention again after you had started going through other papers on your desk.
“This is for you, actually,” he said as he held the bottle up. One corner of his mouth twitched up, making it look like for once, he wasn’t miserable.
“Oh,” you said in surprise. You weren’t sure if you were allowed to accept gifts, but took the bottle anyway through the slot under the window.
“You must get thirsty back there.”
“Yeah,” you chuckled lightly, “my mouth can get dry with all of the talking I do.”
He left after that, but you swore his eyes had flicked down to your lips before he walked through the door.
“Did you put something in that milk?” You asked, pulling the key from the knob.
Francis. You remembered as his hand went over yours on the knob. You could see the document in your head, as you tried to remember if the man with you now was the same from earlier in the day.
“Did you like it?” He asked, “I made it just for you,” he said into your ear, his warm breath puffing across your ear.
With strength you didn’t know you still had, you sent your elbow backward into the man’s chest. You thought that would be enough, but found yourself on the other side of the door with Francis on your back.
“What’d you do to me?” You moaned against the door. His weight on your back was heavy as he held you against the door. This close, you could feel the length of his cock digging into your lower back.
You let out another moan, but this time, Francis lets out one that matches yours when he grinds his hard cock into your back. His hands go to your hips to maneuver you around so he can grind his cock into the meat of your ass.
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this,” Francis says, laying his body along the length of your back so he can say the words directly into your ear.
Enough to drug you, you guessed. Whatever he gave you was enough to turn your brain to mush, and the only control you had was dedicated to pushing your ass back into his cock.
“Please,” you whined, “it hurts.” Francis lets you fall slowly to the floor and makes his way to hold himself tightly against your back. What hurts is your hard cock, but of course, Francis knows that the relief you need comes in the form of his hands between your legs.
“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” Francis whispers. His fingers skillfully get your pants open, and then his fingers– the same ones you saw earlier today hand you his papers, wrap around your cock.
You immediately fuck your hips into his fist, much closer than you expected. You hoped that with your release, Francis would be leaving along with it. Maybe you had fallen asleep at your station and this was some fucked up dream you were having. Letting your head fall forward to thunk into your door didn’t wake you up, so it’s likely that this was real.
“You’re so wet here,” Francis says in amazement as his fingers collect the precum from the head of your cock and what had already leaked down the shaft. He hooks his chin on your shoulder before he pulls his hand from your cock, and up to his mouth.
He groans into your neck when he gets the taste on your tongue, “Francis,” you whisper, hoping that saying his name would be enough. You didn’t want to beg, after all, your hard cock should be evidence enough of what you needed.
“I’m sorry,” Francis says, kissing his apology into the soft skin of your neck. Though it wasn’t on your lips, the press felt electric. “I just needed a taste.”
His words go straight to your cock and you feel another bead of precum drip from the head, just in time for Francis’ fingers as they wrap around the base.
You cum to Francis’ long fingers around your cock and to the feel of his cock digging into your back. With his chest pressed to your back, the groan he lets out as you come undone under his hands travels through your body. It almost feels as if he’s so close that he’s a part of you and the noise comes from your mouth. It makes you feel crazy. What makes you feel even crazier though is how much you moan for the man as your orgasm courses through your body.
Francis holds your body up with an arm wrapped around your stomach as you pant against the door and come down from the orgasm that just shot through your body. “Let’s go to bed, sweetheart,” Francis says, his voice full of promise, “it’s been a long day.”
It must be the drugs, you thought as you let him pull you up from the floor. Your soft cock gives a twitch from where it hangs between your legs. You weren’t even sure if it was worth buttoning your pants back up.
Francis was right, it had been a long day, but you had a feeling that you also had a long night ahead of you.
#x male reader#x male reader smut#milkman x reader#milkman x male reader#francis mosses#francis mosses x reader#francis mosses x male reader#francis mosses x male reader smut
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the birthday boy
- fushiguro megumi x reader
your boyfriend is indifferent towards his own special day, but with you, he actually finds it worth celebrating
genre/warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff with a teeny weeny dash of angst
notes: loosely based on this fanart. pls just give my boi back gege you awful one-eyed cat how could you hold him hostage even on his birthday
listen to: sakura koi by mosawo don't mind me i just get all soft for this poor boy *sigh*
general masterlist
Megumi never really liked birthdays—his own birthdays, specifically.
"Come on, Megumi... just what is it that you want for your present?" you pleaded, pursing your lips together as you faced your boyfriend. "I don't want to give you a surprise only to find out it's not something you'd enjoy!"
However, ever since Gojo went and took him in, ever since he began attending Jujutsu High, and ever since he started dating you, to his chagrin, everyone started making a big fuss over it.
With the straightest face ever, he glanced at you and muttered, "I'm telling you, you can get me whatever."
"That's not an answer!"
"Seriously, you can pick anything. I'm good with anything."
You huffed in exasperation. "You're so unbelievably uncooperative, sheesh."
"On the contrary, I think I'm being quite amiable," he deadpanned. "You don't have to think about it that hard."
In a way, you should've expected this. Your boyfriend was never one who made a big deal over anything, and he probably meant it when he said that he was good with whatever. Your soft boy was just wired that way.
Meanwhile, to Megumi, his birthday was more of a remainder of good old days he spent with his kind sister and Gojo—when times were much more simpler. When Tsumiki was still alive and well. Call him an emo, but he was just feeling bittersweet.
Tsumiki would craft him this makeshift party hat, and Gojo would get him an overly sweet birthday cake with an even more over-the-top frostings. They'd join in singing him happy birthday, and Gojo's singing would be intentionally and especially awful while at it.
But now that he thought back to it, he kind of missed those times.
You threw him a narrowed-eyed look. "Forget it, I half-expected this anyway—" but then, suddenly struck by an idea, you exclaimed, "—oh! Wait, I know!"
Your enthusiastic exclamation caught his attention, and he silently observed as you furiously tapped away on your phone, scouring Google for standard gift ideas for boyfriends.
For the next half-hour, you continuously sought his feedback on each of suggestions. However, Megumi only nodded or agreed with evident disinterest, which didn't really answer your question at all.
“You’re seriously going to be like this, huh?” you sighed, frowning in total indignation, but in your boyfriend’s eyes, you were the height of absolute cuteness.
As you grumbled inwardly about how dull he was, Megumi wore a small smile. Truthfully, if asked, his ideal birthday would revolve around spending time with you. You didn't have to lose your head over this.
Needless to say, you were still trying to make it an event to remember. And Megumi knew, because you were so obvious it was giving him secondhand embarrassment.
"Itadori! I'm telling you—" you were rebuking a sheepish Yuji on broad daylight regarding which color for balloons to be placed in the class on the day of his birthday. Earlier, he saw you and Nobara huddled together, talking about cakes and pastries, then also animatedly discussing with Inumaki, Panda and Maki, pulling out all the stops for a celebration plan without missing a beat.
Megumi could only facepalm at your attempt to maintain secrecy—in which you were failing miserably, almost as if you hadn't really made an effort at all.
"Isn’t it nice, Megumi?" suddenly Gojo slid beside him, with a stupid grin on his face. "Someone who exclusively goes this far for you, hmm?"
"It's embarrassing..."
"Ha! Don't be shy," Gojo barked, leaving him with a friendly pat in the back before stalking away with a snicker, and Megumi wasn't the least bit amused. He was certain that at least, Yuji and Nobara would tease the heck out of him after all was said and done due to your antics.
Even so, he didn't have the heart to stop you, appreciating your well-meaning efforts. He felt somewhat soft too inside, as he didn't expect that there would be someone who cared about this way too much like you did. Just it felt strange—
—because last he remembered, the only person who was hellbent on making his birthday a nice memory was Tsumiki.
. . .
So you were organizing a surprise party for him alongside others. Megumi already knew that, he had anticipated it and frankly, he didn’t actually expect much, but when he actually stepped into the classroom and was greeted with a literal bang, confetti, colorful banners, balloons, and a crowd of well-wishers, he was floored.
“Fushiguro! Happy birthday!”
“Look happier a little, would you?!”
“Look! Look! We got you a cake!”
Yuji and Panda almost hugged him—but before he could, Megumi shoved them away, Nobara handed him a paper bag tied with a pretty bow with a cool smile—believing her gift to be the best, Inumaki gave his hand a shake, and Maki wished him only the best.
All of this was within his expectations. He knows, and yet…
"Hey, Megumi! Smile!" your voice stood out the most, along with your widest smile, beaming and gesturing towards the camera as you were about to take a group picture.
Megumi swore his heart skipped a beat. His pretty, sweet girlfriend. Your affections reached him, and it dampened the hardness that he always carried inside his heart. In that fleeting moment, he felt you were radiant, just like the sun.
Then he turned his gaze and found the person he knew he could never thank enough in this lifetime. Gojo, for the first time in a while, wasn't the clown he made himself to be for his sake. Standing with crossed arms, he quietly watched over him, nodding towards the camera as well with a meaningful smile.
Megumi felt warm, he felt loved, and he wouldn’t admit it, but this might be the best day of his life—surrounded by you and his friends like this. And he actually felt more than just that, but no words could do it justice, because nothing could have ever captured the overwhelming fullness inside his chest.
Tsumiki... You see... I'm doing well, you know?
Later, after all festivities are done, you managed to pull him into a secluded corner of the dorms to give him your one-of-a-kind gift, while fidgeting nervously.
"What is it?" he questioned, gaze squarely fixed on you. "At this point, there's no need for you to be this nervous. Nothing could've surprised me any more than Panda's giant panda earlier."
You laughed, recalling how he nearly got squashed by the life-sized stuffed panda earlier, but then you averted your gaze, feeling your face flush and turning into the cutest shade of pink.
"Well! To be fair, it was because you were so uncooperative when I asked what you wanted for your gift! And since I have gotten you the cake, I figured it'll be fun if you want to play this game..."
You huffed, and Megumi simply blinked in confusion when you handed him five pieces of papers—tickets? He turned them over to find the words "Free Pass" written on each one.
"Sooo you can use each ticket to ask me to do anything! Anything at all, be it me dancing to the worst song you can think of, or whatever!" your cheeks were burning so hard, but your resolute gaze kept him captivated as you continued, "So yeah, you get five free passes to make me do things I wouldn't normally do."
Lips pursed, eyes sparkling, cheeks ablaze. All in all, you were irresistibly adorable that Megumi had this overwhelming urge to scoop you up and put you inside his pocket if he could.
And really, free passes? Did you not consider the numerous exploitable loopholes he could subject you to?
"Okay, here, I want to use my first ticket."
"Huh! Already? What is it?"
He chuckled then, his lips tugging into the warmest of smiles, and you felt your heart soar, seeing that rare carefree expression on him.
"I want to kiss you."
#fushiguro megumi x reader#jjk x reader#megumi fushiguro x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk drabbles#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader fluff#fushiguro x reader#megumi x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk imagines#fushiguro megumi fluff#fushiguro megumi x y/n#jjk#megumi fluff
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my name. | nishimura riki
PAIRING ▸ nishimura riki! x reader
GENRE ▸ detective! au, fantasy! au, high school! au, s2ls, romance, fluff, angst, humor, SLOW BURN
WC ▸ 15.6k
SUMMARY ▸ you supposedly get transported to a different world, where you encounter niki. apparently, you already existed here. note: past tense. so now you’re stuck in an alternate universe and technically, you’re supposed to be dead.
AKA after facing the truth, you come to the realization that someone was definitely trying to kill you.
AN/NOTES ▸ mentions of death!!!, a murder mystery/whodunit, profanity, mentions of suicide, depictions of murder, a few curse words, violence, blood, dead bodies, some gorey stuff, kissing, nothing too harsh, excuse any typos/misspellings...
wow... i can't believe it but it is finally out... it's been a long time coming lol. with losing several family members and hospital visits over the past year, i wasn't sure if this was ever going to get released. thank you all for your endless (fr) patience and support. happy reading ❤️
a faceless figure stretches out a hand towards you.
you squint but for some reason, you still can’t make them out. the longer you stare, the more you realize it was a person—a blurry vision of a faceless boy. considering the matching uniform to yours, he must’ve gone to your school …was he your classmate?
you frown. you’ve never seen anyone like him in class before. you stretch out your arm, fingertips barely grazing his-
the sound of the school bell ringing causes your eyelids to fly open. you groan, yawning and getting up from your seat by the window by default.
it wasn’t a nice nap—just one that left you feeling groggy, unsettled, and strangely incomplete.
you pack up your stuff quietly and leave the classroom alone, not bothering to look for your friends. as you walk down the stairs, you hear your classmates chattering about the weather.you glance outside.
it was a dreary, unwelcoming kind of rain—part of the reason why you fell asleep earlier in class—and you suddenly feel the urge to get home. as soon as possible.
you weren’t sure why, but it wasn’t just raining. it started to pour, especially hard, on this spring day. you want to think that was what made your mood all miserable and forlorn.
not to forget the fact that you didn’t have an umbrella, leaving you no other choice but to throw your hood on and tighten the strings of your hoodie over your school uniform. not exactly the most stylish look, yet it was comfortable enough for you.
you couldn’t put a finger on the emotion, but you felt out of place, like for some weird reason… you didn’t belong here. like you belonged out of this circle, away from this life and world.
that feeling always came up when it started to rain, and you always tried your best to suppress it. but it was particularly strong today.
you shrugged it off though. those “phases” weren’t uncommon, right?
though you made it halfway out the school grounds by yourself, hyein and hanni catch up to you as you walk. you give them a half-hearted smile, “hey.”
it doesn’t take much for them to notice your off behavior. hyein eyes you.
“you okay, y/n?”
you debate internally, reminding yourself that they’re your friends. you can trust them, rely on them. you’re allowed to do that. even more so, aren’t you supposed to do that?
but the words that come out of your mouth suggest otherwise. you shrug, “it’s nothing. it’s just been a weird day, you know?”
they share a glance before turning back to you, sympathetic smiles on their faces. hanni pats you on the shoulder, “yeah, we get it. you should get some rest at home, y/n. we’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“be careful on the way back! the rain doesn’t look like it’s stopping soon.” she calls out before they continue, leaving you behind—still as soaked as ever.
you wave before sighing, gripping the straps of your backpack tighter and making your way towards the train station. the sound of the rain almost makes you fall into a daze as you go about your way. all your school stuff and clothes were definitely getting soaked, which probably meant an oncoming cold, but you could’ve cared less.
the only thing that mattered was going home and sleeping off this weird feeling, so it could become tomorrow and you didn’t have to be in this situation anymore.
the train station is strangely busy, you figure the downpour was making everyone go home sooner. you bypass several people, almost getting your soaked and stained shoes stepped on several times. all while muttering quiet “excuse me’s” to practically everyone and anyone who cared to listen.
after what seemed like ages, you manage to make it to your train. although, the large crowd surrounding the entrance effectively prevents you from getting anywhere.
you mutter a curse, trying to navigate through the waves of people. you just barely get on before the doors begin closing. letting out a huff in relief, you lean back against the door and slowing yourself a moment to close your eyes in peace. all the seats were obviously taken at that point, so you had no choice but to stand. that’s fine—you end up drifting off anyway.
you don’t know how long it’s been since you fell asleep. or why you feel even more exhausted when you wake up. but the robotic voice announcing your arrival makes your eyes automatically flutter open. you feel your body getting pushed and shoved around as everyone tries to get out all at once.
so you grit your teeth and tug down your hood further until you can finally get out. you don’t pay much attention to your surroundings, too focused on not getting knocked to the ground. when you finally stumble out of the crowd onto the station platform, you try to collect yourself while shaking your head. then you frown,
wait a second-
something solid knocks into you from the side, a rough oof! escaping out of their--mouth?
you’re knocked onto the ground, bottom first. pain shoots into your palms that tried (and failed) to catch your fall—and obviously, your butt as well.
you groan, eyes flashing in annoyance at your unknown assailant. looking up, you stop at the sight of the… boy in front of you.
you really have no idea why, but a question immediately pops into your head—
have you met before?
you don’t voice it, but it lingers in the back of your mind. the boy—as far as you can tell, he looks around your age— simply stares at you. he’s in a strikingly similar uniform.
a flicker of recognition passes in his eyes before you watch his expression grow flabbergasted. he continues to stare at you for a solid minute, while you only stare back in confusion, still on the floor.
“it’s rude to stare, you know.” you finally state with a furrowed brow as you quickly gathering your bearings.
his only response is a blink.
it's like the two of you are frozen in time, everyone else getting drowned out in the moment.
you frown, narrowing your eyes at him. “hello? did you hear me?” you repeat yourself and this time he snaps out of it.
“y-you’re not supposed to be here.” he gets out shakily, looking around while his hand runs through his dark locks in distress. you cross your arms, “what do you mean? this is my stop…”
you falter when you remember what you saw earlier. when you got off the train, you took a quick glance at the signs and posts. yeah, this definitely wasn’t your stop.
that wouldn’t have been a huge issue- if it wasn’t for the fact that you never missed your station, no matter the circumstances.
“no!” he exclaims and you flinch at the outburst. the boy glances at you again, and this time you involuntarily shiver at the unreadable look in his eyes.
“you’re…. you’re supposed to be dead.”
your mouth drops open.
“what a great first thing to say to someone you just bowled over. not even a sorry..” you mutter off, suddenly finding the strength to get up and wipe your hands.
the boy takes a step back away from you. curiously, you take one forward, towards him. he gestures a hand at you almost aggressively.
“you’re dead. you died. i swear-“
you hold out your hands in half desperation and half exasperation, “i dunno if this is some dumb prank or something i missed, but i hate to break it to you. i’m not dead. i’m literally right here in front of you. i think i would know if i died or not. i’m-”
again, that feeling of being out of place washes over you. this time it steals your breath away.
the strange boy shakes his head. “there’s no way. i know exactly who you look like.”
his next words make your blood run cold.
“you’re exactly like y/n y/l/n—who died a week ago.” he looks you up and down again, hands curling into fists.
“who are you? and why do you look just-?”
“because that’s who i am? my name is y/n! now, if you would excuse me.”
you hold up a hand, you didn’t have the time or patience to deal with weirdos on the street. it did struck a little odd that he knew your name, but then again he must’ve gone to your school and heard of you somewhere. the only thing that unsettled you was his reaction.
it just seemed too real, like he couldn’t have been that good at acting.
he grabs your arm to prevent you from leaving. all he does is shake his head again like he’s just trying to reassure himself. you’re about to protest, so utterly confused at what’s happening-how you missed your stop and why this strange boy is saying that you’re dead. none of it makes sense.
his face looks pale and grim, and you’re sure yours look exactly the same. “you can’t be y/n. and yet, here you are right in front of me.”
“i will scream like a little girl for help if you don’t let me go at this-“
“p-please. this isn’t a joke. you can’t be here. we need to get out of here—where everyone can’t see you.”
before you can even splutter a response, he drags you off.
you can call me niki, his words echo in your head.
his name rolls off your tongue unfamiliarly. in his states of panic—to which niki kept slapping himself and you kept denying that you were a hallucination—
you ended up introducing yourselves and deciding to find a better place to discuss. more like, niki decided. you soon began to regret that decision.
all you wanted to do was go home, but this persistent kid you’ve never seen before wouldn’t let you or your conscience go. maybe it was the weird feeling from earlier, but you have the urge to at least hear him out. but when you walked out of that train station behind him, everything was wrong.
you don’t know how to describe it. it was right but… at the same time, it wasn’t.
to begin with, you ended up at the wrong station but it led you to the right street to get home. the streets name were the same, but the stores weren’t.
and the bus stop—the bus driver that had worked there for fifteen years, the one you had greeted for fifteen years, suddenly became an entirely different person. he never missed a day, no matter what occasion it was.
things weren’t right and you had no idea what was going on.
following niki, you get lost in your thoughts. you shake your head, clapping a hand over your forehead. maybe… you’re just in a weird dream. a really realistic one, because none of this made sense. it wasn’t raining anymore either, which would’ve been fine, excluding for one tiny detail: the streets were completely dry. judging by the strength of the rain earlier, it really shouldn’t—no, it couldn’t have dried up that fast.
It wasn’t physically possible.
you could easily navigate your way around this area because you lived here all your life. and yet, it felt like you didn’t live here. not when this random stranger (only on a first name basis) keeps insisting that you died.
niki—or whoever—leads you to a very familiar library, the same one where you spent hours studying for your finals. you head in, feeling a bit better hearing the familiar entrance chime. you walk ahead of him to take your spot by the back corner. the fact that this place was essentially the same gave you some comfort.
niki seems surprised, but he doesn’t say anything, only taking the seat across from you.
“okay.” you start, glancing at the boy with wary eyes.
“if whatever bs you’re spewing is true, explain.”
he raises his eyebrows.
“me? explain?”
you nod and he scoffs, “i think you’re the one who should be explaining. after all, you’re the one that’s supposed to be dead-“
“i’m not dead.” you grit out, rolling your eyes.
“okay, okay,” he raises his hands in surrender, “but you still need to talk.”
you sigh, rubbing your temples.
“what do you want me to say? that i got soaked, took the train home, overslept, and then missed my stop? then, i bumped into a weird boy-”
he shoots you an offended look, which you ignore.
“-who keeps telling me that i died. oh, and the more and more i stay here with you, the more wrong everything gets?” you barely get the last word out before niki leans in, eyes focused intently on you.
the closer he gets, you more you begin to malfunction. you unconsciously hold your breath, alarm and confusion evident in your eyes. his hand reaches out, slowly, to your head. your body freezes.
his fingers catch a drop of water at the tip of your hair. “sorry. that was bothering me.”
you exhale, glaring at him. “are you serious?”
“yeah. are you?”
“no,” you deadpan, “i’m a ghost and i’m haunting you. of course i’m being serious!”
he gives you an unconvinced look and you roll your eyes, “i’m y/n y/l/n. we live an hour away from the capital. my house is two blocks away in the neighborhood with the broken fountain, and right now we’re at the library that doesn’t open on thursdays.
you harshly tug off your suddenly dry hoodie, displaying your school uniform.
“and by the looks of it, we go to the same school.”
his eyes widen as he leans in closer to study your uniform. you shrug away, caught off guard. then you frown, “but i’ve never seen you before at school. how do i know that you’re not some imposter? that you somehow stole a uniform to get something from me?”
he rolls his eyes while you gaze at him suspiciously.
“obviously not, because that’s dumb.”
you scoff.
“i live here. why would i go through all the trouble to steal a uniform to get something from you? besides, what would i need from some-“
he glances at you and you tense,
“-kid like you? you’re the one who came out of the train looking so suspicious, it’s like you appeared out of nowhere,” he counters.
you place your palms flat on the table, “okay, it’s obvious we aren’t getting anywhere. we both don’t have answers and we’re not even close to one. all i know is that i’m alive,” you shoot him another look, “and that i somehow ended up here. now, can i go?”
there’s a brief pause before niki speaks up, slowly. “i already told you, you can’t be seen. come with me. and keep the hood on.”
you roll your eyes. who was he to boss you around?
he grumbles something along the lines of- “don’t want to be seen walking around with a dead person.”
the only reason you listened was partly due to fear that you would lose your way in this familiar, yet unfamiliar place. except, you know exactly where he’s taking you. because it’s the same neighborhood you live in.
“wait,” you call out, “this is where i live.” you point to your house, and niki grimaces.
“i know. there were police here for days.”
you stop, unsure of what to say or do. police? at your house? when?
you stare at your supposed house, suddenly dark and empty. what in the world happened?
“come on,” niki calls out and you move to catch up. you’re starting to think niki may be telling the truth.
soon enough, you make it to an unfamiliar house about a street down from yours. as niki unlocks the door, you take the opportunity to study him, trying to recall if you’ve ever seen him before. but when he turns to you, you clear your throat and look away.
“this is my house,” he tilts his head while opening the door.
you like the fact that it’s messy. it felt much more homey because of that. it was also a lot bigger than yours, filled with fancy and intricate things. to which you assume this niki guy has more money than he has yet to admit. he tells you to wait in the living room, and he soon returns with a stack of books.
you pause, “yearbooks?“
he nods, “yeah, our school’s.”
strangely enough, most of the covers are different than yours at home.
but everything else is the same, like the name and logo. he pulls out this year’s yearbook and flips through before stopping at a page.
“that’s me,” he points to the picture of him and you tilt your head, frowning.
“huh. so we are in the same year. but i’ve never seen you in my yearbook—or at school before. i swear i would’ve seen you at least once before...”
you rub your temples, this whole situation was making your head hurt. none of it made sense. you study his picture, why in the world did he actually look good in his yearbook photo? your eyes shift toward his name,
nish—
he turns the page before you can finish reading, only to get distracted by seeing familiar classmates in your yearbook. niki stays silent as he flips through pages and you continue to point out your friends and classmates and stare in wonder at the unfamiliar ones-
ones that you’ve never seen before in your life but somehow their faces are printed on the page, in the same grade and same school as you.
just like niki. you were actually speechless.
eventually, he stops flipping eventually and looks at you. you catch his eye and glance down at the page, immediately catching on. you breath hitches.
“no way—”
“—and there’s you.”
it is you. you can confirm, it’s a photo of someone who looks exactly like you. but… it’s not you.
almost everything is the same, your face and clothes. your hair was cut shorter, and your smile wider for the picture. you were even wearing makeup, for crying out loud. you can only stare at the photo.
according to niki, this you is dead?
you look up at him, stomach churning. what in the world was going on?
the silence lasts until niki finally speaks up with a hesitant tone. “i might be tripping, but have you ever heard of… alternate realities?”
you shake your head firmly, “don’t even get me started on that-“
he cuts you off, “i know, i know. but just hear me out.”
you have no choice but to internally whisper a quiet plea of help. he scoots closer,
“wouldn’t it make sense? there’s really no other explanation. maybe it’s because i watched that spider-man movie recently, but you being from another world would explain how you’re alive right now—when in this world, you’re dead. plus, all the similarities and differences that you mentioned can be chalked up to different timelines—the butterfly effect and stuff like that.”
you don’t know what to say.
could it actually be?
what other explanation could there be?
“please say something,” niki mumbles and you release a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.
“okay. okay. fine. say the whole multiverse crap is true. then how did i even get here? how did i—”
you do air quotations,
“—switch dimensions to another world?”
niki shrugs, “no idea.”
he scratches his head, “it’s weird to think about but i mean, maybe there’s a reason why you came here.”
his voice suddenly gets lower and you shiver, “you know, the timing’s a bit weird that you showed up right after the other you passed away.”
you clear your throat, “let’s not think about that right now. we should probably focus on the whole me being dead thing, right?”
“what?”
you glance at him questioningly, “what?”
niki raises an eyebrow. “what’s there to focus on? you died.”
you don’t have to rub it in my face, you mumble under your breath.
“shouldn’t we be focusing on how to get you back to your world?”
you roll your eyes, “sure, but still, i kinda want to know how i died? i think i deserve to, you know, so maybe i don’t make the same dumb mistake back home.”
“-if you ever get home,” he corrects and you huff.
“whatever, just tell me. we don’t even know if your dumb alternate reality theory is right.”
“okay,” niki rubs his hands nervously and you wait in anticipation.
“well, it actually happened last thursday.”
you swallow. why was your heart rate picking up?
“at school. on, uh, the rooftop. no one witnessed it, and the cctv was broken so we don’t have any exact answers. but from what I’ve heard,” he gives you a cautious glance,
“the police are about ready to call it a suicide.”
at first, you think you misheard him. but the hesitant gaze and pause proves you otherwise.
at first it doesn’t hit you. but then suddenly you feel sick to your stomach. your hand grips the table for support as you try to take it all in.
you?
a suicide at school?
what about your family, your friends-
“no,” you whisper, shaking your head. “i… i would never-“
you slam your hands on the table, “i know myself. i would never do that.”
his face is grim and sympathetic, which you can feel the dislike churn in your stomach at that. “i’m really sorry… that’s the current situation. it kinda blew up at school, but everything’s still so recent that nothing is confirmed yet.“
unspoken words linger in the back of his head, that he questions if he should say it or not.
that niki really didn’t know you that well, that you were just another classmate of his. one that he passed in the halls without a second glance back. that the you in his world-
was just a stranger to him.
yet seeing you, desperate and alive, right in front of his eyes. he doesn’t know what to do or say. so niki watches you bury your head in your hands. and he waits.
it’s only a couple of minutes later that you look up. his face morphs into one of surprise when he sees your determined expression.
“niki,” you state carefully and he nods, waiting patiently.
“are you sure that i-i did it?”
you can’t bring yourself to say the word but niki gets it. he sighs,
“no. no one’s sure. but from what i’ve heard, the police haven’t found any other motives so… a suicide seemed most likely.” the more and more niki talked, the more unsure he got.
your face hardens.
“so there’s no proof? the police aren’t doing their freaking job and investigating?”
his eyes widen—surprised at your sudden outburst—and you sigh, voice falling to a whisper.
“did i really commit suicide? and why do i care so much?”
something warm falls over your hand and you jump, glancing up.
even for only a split second, his hand covers yours in a sympathetic attempt, “i’m sorry y/n. i wish i had answers but i really don’t know…”
despite the awkward look on niki’s face and overall awkward situation, his words strangely comfort you.
you bite your bottom lip. “i-i have to get to my house.”
he stiffens, “what?”
you stare at him, eyes sharp, “if no one else is going to do something, i at least have to.”
you need to. for yourself.
niki scoots closer, “y/n, you can’t just-“
“i know. but i need to know. something just-ugh,” you rub your face in frustration, “something doesn’t add up. i have to check. it’s like i can feel it deep within me.”
he sits there wordlessly. when you don’t get a response, you stand up. niki splutters, “w-where are you going?”
you cross your arms, “without or without you, i’m going to my house.”
he slaps a hand to his face in frustration. “just how stubborn are you?” he mumbles. you hear it and yet you decide to ignore him.
“thanks for the help i guess,” you give him a (weak) half-smile before turning towards the door
“wait! you’re being serious?!”
his desperate voice calls out and you internally debate if you should listen to him or not. slowly, you turn back around, “yeah. do you need something?”
“no, but you do— a plan. especially since the police closed off your house for investigation. plus, most of the evidence would have been taken already.” he clasps his hands together behind his back.
you shrug. “okay, and? i’ll still find a way. i have nothing to lose. i’m not even supposed to be alive.”
he groans loudly and you raise an eyebrow.
“idiot. i’m trying to say that i’ll help you. i-i want to help you.”
“i didn’t ask,” you raise your hands in mock surrender. annoyed, niki puts his hands on his hips.
“sure, but i know plenty of things you don’t. this is my world. so, are you gonna accept or not?”
“you wish you did,” you retort, yet you can’t help the small smile that grows on your face, “but… i would appreciate it. just be grateful that i’m accepting your dumb theory from a spider-man movie as of right now.”
niki gulps at the sight. it was the first time he saw you smile since you met. at least, the first smile he saw from the you of an alternate universe.
“whatever you say,” he holds out a hand,
“miss imposter.”
you take it gladly, harshly. “don’t call me that-“
“my name is y/n y/l/n.”
you spin around in niki’s chair, having went up to his room to figure out your so called master plan. niki (respectfully) offered to let you stay in his room for the length of your “visit.”
to which you almost punched him.
but he explained that there were no extra guest rooms and you were still technically dead, so hiding in his room was the best bet as to not raise any questions. you could take the makeshift bed in the corner of his room as to not raise suspicion. you were surprised yet grateful.
“i’ll grab extra blankets and pillows. and i’ll sneak you food and whatever you need.”
“what about clothes and toiletries?”
he yawns, “easy. i’ll steal some from my sisters.”
you feel bad, but you realize you have no other choice. you were literally stuck here.
a part of you still wondered if this was a dream. a horrible one, at the least. but while you were stuck here, might as well make the best of it. niki graciously offered and you had no choice but to accept. you almost scoff at the ridiculousness of the situation.
“so basically, i’m like a secret pet you’re hiding from your parents?”
“technically… yes,” niki rubs his hands together, and you can only watch the mischievous expression grow on his face.
“but i like to think that you’re like eleven. you’re different—you’re special, like her.”
you hold back a laugh at the words.
clearing your throat, you try to play it off. “from stranger things? your world has that show too?” he lets out a scandalous gasp and this time you giggle.
“of course, dude. what kind of world would i be living in if i didn’t have stranger things?”
“apparently a horrible one,” you snort.
after the whole living situation was sorted out, you returned to your investigation.
“so you’re saying the police taped off my house for further examination?”
“uh, yeah? that’s how it works?” he raises a brow.
you stuck your tongue out at him, “okay, smartass. then how do we get in?”
“clearly, there’s only one way: sneak in.”
“i don’t think this is a good idea?” niki whisper shouts at you and you shush him.
the sun was barely setting. if anyone knew you, they knew you really couldn’t be deemed as patient of any sort.
niki watches you struggle up the tree in your backyard.
obviously, going through the front door was a no go. luckily this house looked pretty much the same as your house, at least from the outside. you knew your parents weren’t home judging by the darkness. you wondered if they were staying with other family.
or were they at work? so soon after your death?
you grimace, now was not the time to be getting in your feelings.
the best (only) option was jumping the backyard fence and going in through your bedroom window. leading to your predicament now.
you exhale heavily when you find a place to rest, gripping the tree with all your might in hopes that you don’t fall
you glance down at niki.
“can you make it?”
he scoffs,
“easy.”
it was easy— easy for you to watch niki struggle to get up to your point.
you were sort of scared the tree wasn’t going to support both your weights, at the way it was trembling slightly. niki makes it though, by the time the sun is well down.
you can see him sweating heavily and your nose scrunches in amusement,“easy, huh?”
“yeah, for you just standing there and watching me. we don’t have all day, grandma.”
“don’t call me that,” you mutter while stretching out towards your window.
niki’s eyes widen.
“be careful, y/n.”
“i got it,” you stretch out a leg to the ledge and your sweaty hands begin to slide from the bark, most likely from exertion.
without even thinking about it, niki places his hands around your waist to stabilize you. you don’t notice in your concentration to not fall to your death. you certainly didn’t want another dead you.
your foot clicks the lock, and with a grunt you’re able to push the window open.
“you got it?”
“yeah,” you breathe out, clumsily making your way in. you reach out a hand for niki and he takes it, maneuvering his long body in through the small window.
finally, you can breathe.
it’s the first time you have the luxury to desperately wish that you were home right now. your real home. you certainly didn’t mean this home, the empty and cold looking one locked up for the police’s investigation.
after catching your breath, you get up to examine your surroundings. you weren’t not sure what you were expecting. this was the other you’s room.
all you can think is, at least this y/n was much cleaner than you.
a part of you feels like you’re invading someone’s privacy. but then you realize that it’s literally your own privacy that you’re invading, with the addition of niki. you actually can’t believe the absurdity of the situation.
at first glance the room looks pretty normal, an average teenagers room. not what you expected for yourself, but there’s not much you can see. you turn to niki,
“there’s no shot we’ll get caught right?”
he gives you another sympathetic look, “we’ll keep a look out for the police, but i heard your parents were busy with your other family and funeral preparations, so it wouldn’t be them catching us.”
“oh.”
the air feels so glum, you clear your throat to move on. “guess we should look around?”
he nods and begins to snoop around.
“wait,” you call out hesitantly.
niki cocks his head and you cough awkwardly.
“it’s still my room, so like, be careful with what you look through.”
he rolls his eyes. “yeah. i got it.”
you gaze at the photos on your shelf, displaying your happy family and friends. it just made you acknowledge how precious they were. it made you miss your friends and family at home even more.
you’re appalled at the books you read. you shake your head, seriously? you take out one of the books-
“ten days to love,” you voice aloud with disgust written across your face.
you weren’t one to judge, but what kind of cheesy romance novels were you reading?
niki opens your closet and you turn at the sound. your eyes widen-
wait a second,
your closet with clothes? possibly including…. more personal things?
you dash over in desperation, praying that niki hasn’t already seen something that he shouldn’t.
“don’t!”
his wide eyes meet your panicked ones, shocked at the sudden change of events. he doesn’t move until you push past him, blocking the door from his view.
“you didn’t see anything, right?” you stare at niki desperately and he furrows his eyebrows.
“no? am i not supposed-“
“no reason. just being cautious. we can, uh, open it together.”
you carefully examine your belongings inside before deeming it safe for niki’s eyes. you let out a sigh of relief.
he gives you a weird look and you shoot him an exaggerated smile.
“you can proceed!”
he mutters something under his breath as you continue your search on the other side of the room. it didn’t seem like there was anything of importance on the shelves. but, after careful examination, you see a glimpse of something. pushing past some folders, your face morphs into a stunned one.
you pull out…
a pink teddy bear with hearts? why would this be in your room?
and even more so, why was it hidden?
niki calls out your name and you turn around. your mouth drops open.
“a box of chocolates?“
he scoffs, “yeah. stuffed behind some clothes in your closet for some reason.”
“it’s not even the good brand,” you mutter.
niki laughs, “maybe you had secret admirers from school?” suddenly, you give him a suspicious glance.
“what makes you say that? you sure you weren’t one of them?”
he side eyes you, “trust me, you wouldn’t catch me within five feet of you at school.”
you walk over to shove his arm and he only laughs harder. you huff, suppressing a smile on your face as you turn away. but you keep niki’s comment in the back of your mind.
after a solid thirty minutes, you can feel your resolve waning. there was no sign indicating that you felt suicidal. at least, none that you found after the police probably scrounged through everything. some stuff was suspicious—
like the teddy bear and chocolates. and some lavish perfume and makeup in the drawers. that just wasn’t your style. but you supposed this world’s you was just different.
just because you weren’t particularly into those things didn’t mean another you couldn’t be.
“did i have a diary? what about my phone?”
niki frowns, “the police would’ve taken it. it’s their evidence now.”
you suddenly get an idea, and it’s probably wasn’t a good one.
“hey, niki?” you call out. he hums in response.
“what day and time is it, currently?”
“uh…” he checks his watch, “sunday. 8pm. why?”
“when does the police station close?”
dummy, most people would say--why would the police station be closed?
luck seemed to be on your side, because you knew especially well from complaints by locals, that your local police station did actually have a curfew. and you could only hope it was the same here.
niki scratches his head, “in ten minutes? why are-“
his mouth drops open, “no. no. no.” you shrug and he shakes his head adamantly, “y/n, there’s no way that we’re going to sneak in.”
you dust off your hands, “i’m all ears for any other ideas you have.”
you have him at that and he falls silent. after a couple moments, he speaks up albeit hesitantly. “well… i might have a way.“
you grin. “onwards, then.”
“wait, so how did you manage to get access again?”
he coughs, “my friend jungwon is the son of the police deputy chief… so i may have called in for a favor.”
“he managed to sneak in with his dad’s keys and get the files to my case?” you finish.
he nods.
“illegally?”
he nods again.
you tap your chin, “would we get arrested if we got caught?”
he shrugs, “probably.”
“good thing i’m not from this world.”
perhaps secretly hanging outside this jungwon’s house was not the best idea, either. he rolls his eyes before offering the file to you.
“do you want to open it?” to your surprise, his voice comes out quite comforting and soft.
you gulp, “i guess i should.”
you feel sick for the second time that day. luckily, the photo didn’t show too much. not that it made it any better. it was still you, dead.
you had to look at yourself and imagine yourself in that situation. you cover your mouth and niki immediately takes the file away from you. he watches worriedly as you shake your head.
“i’m fine. i-is there anything else your friend managed to get?”
“are you sure?”
“yes.” he doesn’t protest anymore at the tone of finality in your voice.
niki pulls out a bag with your name on it. taking a deep breath in, you open it. you shuffle through some things hurriedly until niki speaks up.
“hold on a sec,” he softly places a hand on your arm to stop your actions.
“we should be careful. someone could notice that we tampered with the evidence so we need to be very careful when putting things back. plus, we have to give it back to him as soon as possible—we don’t want them noticing that your stuff is missing.”
you curse, “that’s right. we can’t risk taking anything.”
“then what?”
you pinch your nose bridge, “we snap pictures and hope it’s good enough. unless we want to take another field trip here.”
you manage to snap a few pictures and go through a few things. you catch a glimpse of your diary and flip to the most recent page. it was about a week and a half ago, and-
it wasn’t finished. you skim through it, reading boring stuff about how your day was and how you met-
you squint.
the rest of the words were scratched out, harshly, with a black marker. seeing how it was getting late and dark, you can’t make out who’s name it was even with your phone flashlight. you wonder, could it be-
your thoughts are interrupted by niki.
“y/n, i think we need to hurry and head home soon. the longer we stay out, the greater risk we’re at for getting caught. oh, and i found your phone.”
he holds it up and the extremely glittery case makes your eyes hurt. you eye it. heaving a deep breath, you prepare yourself to open your phone.
but when you click the power button and nothing happens, you groan. you try again, and again, holding it down for seconds but the screen remains black.
“the phone’s dead.” you sigh again and niki bites his lip.
“maybe we should give up. we can ask jungwon another time,” he suggests
you nod wearily and he closes the box. as he gathers everything, opening his phone to text his friend to come back out, you glance at the time. it was quite late for a school day.
“that’s right, you have school tomorrow?”
he groans, “yeah. i guess you’ll just have to stay home in my room. no one will go in while i’m at school, so you don’t have to worry.”
you nod, “okay.”
it felt weird knowing you were supposed to be at home, in bed and preparing to go to school yourself the next day. instead, you were stuck in another world—in a stranger’s room, forced to hide since you were supposed to be dead.
were you considered missed at home? did anyone notice? call the cops?
more like, if anyone cared?
while you get ready for bed in niki’s bathroom, you stare at yourself in the mirror.
yes, you affirm, you’re alive.
you’re staring back at yourself, dressed in one of niki’s oversized shirts and basketball shorts.
but the image of your dead face flashes in your mind and you immediately squeeze your eyes shut. you breathe heavily, hands planted on the sides of the sink.
everything’s fine. you will get back home. things will figure themselves out. you’re okay. you’re breathing and-
a knock on the door makes you jump.
“y/n? everything okay?” niki’s voice sounds out hesitantly, “it seemed like you were taking a while so-“
the door swings open.
you stand there, face emotionless. he doesn’t say anything, and neither do you. niki tries to keep the image of you wearing his clothes out of his head, but it won’t seem to go away.
“goodnight, niki.”
you slowly walk over to the temporary bed he’s set up on the floor for you. he blinks,
“night, y/n.”
it’s surprisingly comfortable, or maybe you’re just so exhausted you don’t seem to care or question anything anymore.
you hear light footsteps padding to turn off the lights.
in the darkness, your eyes close. but your mind is awake.
you know his is too, judging by the sounds of quite shuffling every couple minutes or so.
“niki?” you say quietly.
another shuffle.
“yeah?”
“this may sound weird, but have you noticed anyone that looked particularly sad?”
there’s a pause.
“about you?”
“yeah, but not like the typical sadness. like, anyone who seems to have changed drastically after hearing about me? let’s say,” you swallow, “any guys or friends of yours who seemed particularly upset or affected?”
niki rolls to the other side of his bed so that he faces you, but in the darkness he can only see the outline of your figure. “y/n, what are you trying to say?”
you tug the covers over yourself a little tighter.
“nevermind, niki. have a good day at school tomorrow, and don’t worry about waking me up. you won’t be able to.”
“wasn’t planning on it,” he snorts.
you fall asleep with a faint smile still lingering on your face.
the next day at school, niki struggles. he struggles when it’s supposed to be another normal day, and all he can think about is you.
especially about what you said.
niki never paid much attention before to his surroundings, there was no reason to. but now he keeps an eye open.
he eyed anyone who passed by your locker, empty desk in class, anyone who mentioned your name. but the fact that you mentioned guys specifically, made him confused.
why did it matter if a guy was upset? a lot of people were shocked and sad at the news. niki shook his head. he didn’t get it.
meanwhile, you stayed at his home.
thinking.
thinking about yesterday. somehow everything that happened was all just yesterday. you took the train and ended up here. then you found out you were apparently dead.
you spent what felt like hours scrolling through the photos you took and waiting for niki to come home. all while eating snacks that niki left for you graciously.
you don’t even know what time it is when you hear the door begin to open. you scramble to your feet before realizing that there was a chance it wasn’t niki.
you go back to your hiding spot, shrinking underneath the covers. next thing you know, the bedroom door flings open. you tense.
however, a call of your name allows you to let out a sigh of relief. you hop up, “niki!”
he grins, looking rather cute in his ruffled school uniform, backpack slung off one shoulder. you stop yourself, horrified at your thought. at your face falling, he cocks his head. “what’s wrong?”
you laugh awkwardly, “nothing! nothing at all!”
he gives you an unconvinced look but doesn’t press further.
“you must’ve been bored without me.”
that was the niki you’ve come to know (in the span of a day or so). sarcasm drips from your lips as you laugh dryly, “sure.”
but you knew he was right and he knew it too.
“i spent the day looking through the pictures, but i couldn’t find much else,” you frown.
“same here. today was pretty normal, no one seemed any different than usual…”
“i mean, the mood has been somber ever since you,” he pauses, “left. but nothing out of the ordinary.”
you seemingly deflate, but niki perks up. “i talked to jungwon and he said he’s going to try and get your phone next time. we can only hope that someone charges it or that we can charge it ourselves.”
you nod, “that’s good.”
“but, don’t you have work to do? what about your family?”
you realized you didn’t see or even hear of them yesterday.
“oh, they usually stay late at the dance academy—me included. but my grades haven’t been good recently, so they’ve been forcing me to go to home and study…”
you tsk as niki gives you a sheepish look.
“you know, while we’re waiting, i’m not too bad at studying myself. what do you need help with?”
niki rolls his eyes, “thanks, but no thanks. i don’t need another person on my back about my grades.”
instead, he falls back onto his bed with an oof.
“don’t worry, i’ll manage. let’s just talk about our next step.
“step? as in, my case?
“yeah,“ his eyes glint, “i have an idea.”
you were starting to believe he was getting more invested in this than you were.
“okay—shoot.”
what was the worse thing he could suggest?
“we should sneak you into school-“
your eyes practically bulge as you gape at him. “excuse me? weren’t you the one saying i was going too far with sneaking into my own house and you want me to do what?”
niki gets up, placing his arms on your shoulders to calm you. strangely enough, it did.
“hear me out first—we sneak into school at night, bust open your locker, and see what you have. that’s better than waiting for jungwon.”
“don’t you think the police would have already looked through my locker?
“well, he looks around nervously, “as far as i’ve heard, the police were already mostly convinced the case was closed and didn’t care to check. but, what can i say? rumors are just rumors.”
you purse your lips. what did you have to lose? being in a different world made you much more reckless than you would have ever thought. but that didn’t mean you were going to be stupid about it.
“fine.”
niki winces at your tone, but you speak up,
“how in this stupid multiverse crap am i going to break into my own locker? and with cameras all around school?
he smirks and you raise an eyebrow.
“i didn’t miss a whole chem lecture for nothing—“
confused, you give him a look as if to say, what in the world are you talking about?
“who said we had to know the combination?” he takes out a pair of keys form his pocket.
you gasp in awe, clasping a hand over your mouth.
you gaze at him with wide eyes for a second, causing him to look at you questioningly.
“you’re actually being smart...”
his confused expression immediately changes to one of irritation.
you stand up straight again, “how did you even get those keys? and what about the cameras?”
he winks and you glance at him, trying to remain expressionless. if there was anything you noticed, it was that niki was actually quite attractive. it made you wonder if he was popular at school…
“it’s a secret. don’t worry about it.”
“you sure have a lot of secrets, niki. like, is niki even your real name?” you squint accusingly.
niki chokes on his spit, “how in the world did you know?”
you falter. “huh? it isn’t?”
he clears his throat, “anyway, i have to get up early for school tomorrow.”
you eye him but decide to let it go. niki shrugs, “usually i’m up playing games, but you look like you need the sleep with those eye bags. you aren’t surprised.
“tomorrow night,” he says shortly after. “i’ve got a plan—you just have to trust me.”
turns out said plan was dumb, but you really had no other choice.
niki made some lame excuse to his teachers about staying late to study- and his teachers, being utterly shocked that he offered to study, immediately agreed to let him linger.
meanwhile, niki would sneak you in, wearing one of his old uniforms that was too small for him so that just in case, no one would question anything. along with one of his totally inconspicuous baseball caps to hide your face and hair.
you sigh, you couldn't believe you were sneaking into school through the boys bathroom. you groan while maneuvering through the window. niki shushes you, causing you to stick your tongue out at him. he raises his hands playfully and you resist the urge to smack him.
on your way to jump down from the window, your left foot gets caught on the ledge. you stumble forward, expecting to be met with the revolting bathroom floor face first. instead, perhaps now was the time to thank the universe (in this case, his universe?) for niki’s quick reflexes.
he inhales, catching you by catching and pulling you towards him instead of the ground, essentially into his arms.
instead of faceplanting into the ground rather foolishly, you fall into his strangely soft and warm chest. you let out a barely discernible squeak, unable to respond due to the pounding of your heart.
after a couple of seconds—that felt like forever— niki lets you go with a shake of his head.
“my god y/n, i had no clue you were this clumsy. please don’t ever do that again.”
please don’t ever make me sneak into a nasty teenage bathroom again, you wish you could retort.
you shake your head quickly, lips pressed thinly together. don’t get distracted, you remind yourself. “yeah-thanks. let’s uh, just hurry.“
you don’t have time to wonder what would the consequences be if you got caught by cameras or anyone else while niki leads you down the familiar hallways.
“how do you know which one’s my locker? i thought you said we didn’t really know each other?“ you eye him suspiciously.
he scoffs, “don’t get too excited. mine’s just a couple lockers down so i was bound to see you at your locker by some point.”
he hands you the keys and you gratefully accept—your hands slightly trembling. you didn’t know what to expect.
niki watches from behind, and you can feel his warm breath on you occasionally, causing you to shiver.
with a slight click and creak of the rusty locker door, the locker opens. you hold your breath at first glance. it’s…. normal?
normal as in any average high schoolers locker one would expect. what catches your eye first are a couple of photos of you and your friends.
on deeper inspection of yourself (it was still weird to imagine and even weirder to see) you see a twinkling, intricate chain around your neck. maybe you were tripping (again, but mentally this time) or that necklace you had on seems really expensive?
“there’s no way,” you suddenly gasp and turn to niki with wide eyes.
“what?” niki starts to panic, “what is it?”
“am i actually loaded in this world?”
niki pinches the bridge of his nose as he shakes his head. “jesus, you scared me. i mean, you didn’t seem like it.. who knows where you got that super expensive, luxury brand necklace? it looks familiar…“
you try your hardest not to roll your eyes. of course, niki would know.
“how much are you talking?”
he taps his foot on the floor, “well, my mom and sister likes that brand. that specific necklace is specially made since it’s a seasonal limited edition, so it’s somewhere in the thousands-“
you truly forgot how rich niki’s family was, you think with a half joking tch and a shake of your head. niki glances at you, impressed.
“-whoever gave that to you must’ve really cared.”
you frown, “sure… or maybe i just really worked hard to get it for myself?”
he’s shoots you an amused look, “you wanted to get yourself the valentine day’s collection necklace?
“what?”
you feel your heart rate begin to pick up, “are you implying what i think you are?
“yes?” he responds with a raised eyebrow, “someone must’ve been really in love with you to gift you that. maybe your parents or friends?”
then niki pokes your side playfully, “-or a secret admirer?”
you don’t answer his question, regardless of if he was being serious or not. you peer into the locker again, “but where is it? it’s so valuable i’m certain we would’ve seen it in the police’s evidence…”
suddenly, niki grabs your wrist. that’s when you hear the footsteps. you turn to him with wide eyes as he mouths for you to hide. panicking, you look around in desperation before he pushes you—
straight into the locker.
your own locker.
you know you should be freaking out over getting caught, but you could only wonder—could this be considered a crime?
in the dark, stuffy locker, you see a glimpse of niki’s silhouette run past through the tiny openings of the door. just barely a second later, you hear more footsteps. squinting, you able to discern a familiar, yet weirdly unfamiliar guy. your eyebrows raise.
no way. park sunghoon was in this world too?
you hold your breath when you hear him call out, “is someone there?”
really, curse niki for shoving you in your own locker. yet it was also a smart move as no one could see into your locker, but you were able to see out.
“sorry. that was me, pres.”
it was niki’s voice.
you can barely see his relaxed demeanor appearing to face sunghoon.
“i was staying back to study and catch up on work—you know already,” he adds hastily.
sunghoon nods coolly, “i was just checking. making sure everything’s good before leaving.”
niki was a little too good at acting, you questioned how often he had done this to those around him. he fake salutes, “i promise to clean up after i’m done. no need to worry, class president.”
“alright, see you later.”
you have a sigh of relief as sunghoon turns to leave.
but you swear, for a split second, his expression changes as his eyes fall on your locker.
your heart rate picks up. did he notice you?
however, sunghoon leaves without a second look back.
you frown—what was that?
after waiting a minute to be safe, niki quickly lets you out. only to be greeted by your displeased face and crossed arms.
“that was the only thing i could think of in the moment!” he immediately defends himself.
“seriously? i could’ve-like-“ you trail off and niki smirks.
“see? nothing bad would’ve happened.”
“doesn’t change the fact you stuffed me in my locker. it’s not even mine, for crying out loud.”
“whatever. just be glad you didn’t get caught by park sunghoon, our school’s super rich, smart, and handsome-“
“i know him from my world. he’s irrelevant, let’s continue on.” you wave him off.
you can’t help but compare him to niki. niki was way more genuine and… boyish in a way? he felt real. you preferred that. not to mention he had a much more tolerable presence, you supposed.
everything else in the locker was useless. random crappy notes, perfumes and hand lotions, along with the pictures you already inspected were the only things that decorated your locker. no sign of that ridiculously expensive necklace.
you rub a hand over your face in exasperation. “that’s it…”
one thought still lingered in the back of your mind. where was the necklace?
“hey, y/n, i think we should get going soon. the lights are going to turn off soon-they’re automatic and we didn’t bring any flashlights.”
you sigh. next time.
it feels like you’ve hit a dead end. by the end of the week, niki has caught up on his studies. you were surprised to find that he was quite dedicated to school, even if it didn’t seem like it.
the days that niki came home with a pile of schoolwork and other duties, you went out to think—with one of niki’s hoodies and a mask on. but the times you spent with niki since you couldn’t go out much, mainly at night, were nice.
tutoring him at subjects he was struggling in, learning new dances together (and learning how talented he really was), simply being around him was enough to distract you from your impending crisis.
niki always came to keep you company and bring you food. you really were his eleven.
niki was gaming while you sat off to the side, watching him play. you admired his side profile, the shine from the bright computer screen enhancing his features, the furrow of his eyebrow as he focused.
he yells as his character dies and you can’t hold back your laughter, “you kinda suck-“
all of a sudden, you hear a knock on the door.
“bro, you good? i swear i heard another voice-“
the door handle begins to turn.
you and niki share a look of panic.
your first instinct is to dive and roll, underneath niki’s bed. you ignore the fact that it’s as dusty as you’d expect for a teenage boy’s room and hold your breath.
“mom said dinner is ready. also, what’s with all the noise? it sounded like someone else was in the room with you.” a girls voice—niki’s older sister, you presume.
“nope. just me.”
you cringe at the fact that niki’s voice is octaves higher. it wouldn’t be that much of a problem if his voice wasn’t as deep as it normally was.
“it was just probably the video i was playing.”
“…sure,” you hear his sister’s footsteps as she leaves and shuts the door behind her.
you let out an exhale of relief.
“y/n?” you hear soon after.
“under here.”
you turn to see niki’s head peeking down underneath the bed.
you meet his curious eyes. cute.
“jeez.” he holds a hand out and you gladly accept it, letting him pull you up with ease. huffing, you dust yourself off.
“jeez, indeed. who knows what horrors you’ve been hiding under there.”
“hey,” niki defends himself, “i’ll have you know i am a very clean person and don’t-“
“oh really? then what’s this?” you hold up the sacred item, jerking your hand back as he reaches out to snatch it.
“hey! haven’t you ever heard of privacy?”
he lunges again as you laugh, just keeping it out of his grasp. however, you feel the bed frame hit your legs, and you gasp.
you fall back, niki over you on his bed. he must’ve underestimated his arm-span and overestimated yours.
niki lands over you with a soft grunt, eyes wide. you peer up at him wordlessly. his arms catch him, but it’s still so close you can feel his hair tickle your forehead.
is this what the movies mean when your heart… skips a beat?
niki snaps out of his trance, “s-sorry,” he hastily gets up. you cough, trying to dispel the stuffy atmosphere.
“so, uh, i had an idea.”
“yeah? what’s up?”
“i was thinking we look at the evidence again. i just want to double check something.”
“come on,” you take niki’s hand. it was habitual by this point.
“you got the charger, right?”
niki nods, taking it out of his pocket.
it was risky asking niki’s friend to retrieve the evidence for you again, but you needed to confirm your suspicions. or, hit a dead end.
when niki returns, carefully holding a plastic bag (and dinner, your grumbling stomach reminds you), your eyes zero in on one thing.
“thanks. i know it must be hard for your friend to sneak behind his dad’s back like that.”
“it’s fine,” niki shrugs, “i promised to buy him lunch for the next week.”
you snort as you take out “your” phone and plug it into the charger.
“okay. now we wait.”
niki looks at you expectantly, and you only stare at him back. subconsciously, a hand raises to your face. “is there something wrong?”
he shakes his head while looking away sheepishly, “nothing, nothing.”
you open your mouth to question him further, but the phone screen flashes. you scramble to open it. thankfully you were able to use your own face id.
as soon as you scroll through your messages, your stomach sinks. you raise a hand to cover your mouth.
“what?” niki jumps up, “what did you find?”
you open the photos app, which only confirms everything. you drop the phone, and that’s when niki sees it.
“oh my god.”
“don’t even-“
“i was secretly dating park sunghoon?!”
you cup a hand over your mouth. “i think i’m gonna be sick.”
niki scoffs, taken aback. “b-but how? you- and him-?”
you rub a hand over your face. “don’t ask me. but the valentines gifts and necklace were so suspicious, i started wondering… i just didn’t expect it to be him.”
niki notices the sour expression on your face.
“oh. you don’t like him?”
you shake your head vehemently, “bro, not even if he and i were the last two people on earth.”
you think about your world’s sunghoon and almost shudder. he was selfish, arrogant, could but would never keep a girl for more than two weeks. yet the whole class still loved him and you never understood it, never understood the appeal of him.
besides getting bro-zoned, niki relished your words.
“good to know.”
“i wish i didn’t,” you sigh.
but that was besides the point. you still didn’t know how it all added up. did sunghoon—unfortunately, your boyfriend in this world—have anything to do with your death? did he really get you that expensive necklace?
and as much as you wanted to deny it, you couldn’t rule it out. thinking as rationally and fairly as possible, suicide was likely-as much as you didn’t believe it. you couldn’t rule it out simply based on a feeling. plus, his expression when he passed by your locker lingered in your mind.
“so, now what?” niki watches you carefully.
“you’ve heard of the saying, keep your friends close but your enemies closer, right?”
“yeah,” he cocks an eyebrow, “why?”
“well, i’ve got a task for you.”
niki has never spoken a word to your friend group in his entire life. the most he’s ever done was send a cold look their way and pretend not to know them out in public.
he had nothing against them—nothing against your choice of friends—but he preferred not to associate with your group. he couldn’t put his finger on it, but he just didn’t vibe with them.
and yet here he was, talking to your “friends” because you asked him to. he sighed, the things he did for you.
danielle looks him up and down with her arms crossed. “why are you asking about y/n? since when did you care about them?”
“please,” he sighs in exasperation, “i just need to know if anyone disliked y/n or was acting suspicious around them.”
haerin steps up, an annoyed frown on her face. “there’s no one. can’t you tell this is a touchy subject for us? now, leave us alone.”
she grabs danielle and walks off, angrily whispering into a distressed looking danielle’s ears.
niki wants to punch someone. besides the fact that surrounding people were catching onto his conversation and whispering about the interaction, he essentially got nothing out of it.
you were also at a dead end. after scrolling through hundreds of disgusting texts and photos of you and sunghoon, there was nothing remotely suspicious. plus, you had to give your phone back to jungwon soon before anyone noticed it was missing.
everything seemed normal. everything was normal. normal until this world’s you suddenly died.
the only lead you had was the missing necklace. and yet where were you supposed to find it? it could be anywhere—in the police’s hands, with sunghoon, most likely gone.
you couldn’t even go out on your own, you felt like a hopeless rapunzel trapped in her tower, desperately wishing for answers and freedom. it was starting to get to you. the stress, homesickness, and most of all, loneliness.
you throw your phone to the side and bury your face in your hands, trying your best to focus on your breathing. you almost don’t realize how long it’s been until you hear a faint call of your name.
“y/n? y/n, what’s wrong?” niki drops his backpack and rushes to your side.
his eyes carefully examine your body, checking for who knows what. you slowly lower your hands, revealing your bloodshot eyes and tear stained face.
what scared niki the most was the lost look in your eyes, a deep and dark pool void of any emotion.
“niki… i don’t think i can do this anymore,” your words float out carefully, like a whisper of the wind.
“i’m trying my hardest, but it’s so frustrating. i miss my home, i miss my life. i miss myself.” as soon as the words leave your mouth, you feel yourself break down. and right as you do so, niki reaches forward to wrap you in an embrace.
“i want to go home,” you whisper in an small voice.
his heart almost breaks at the sight. you sounded like a little kid—you looked like you were a little kid again, as small and curled up you were when he found you. in his eyes, he saw a lost child looking for their parents, their guidance and their own light in the world.
he resolves to never be the cause of your pain again.
niki holds you for the entire night as you cry and drift off to sleep.
you wake up with a headache and a dry throat. you feel hungover, although you’ve basically never drank alcohol before.
somehow, you’re not sure exactly when, you ended up in niki’s bed. as soon as you’re able to sit up, your eyes fall on the clock on the bedside table.
11 am. niki must be at school still, you note.
you wonder what he’s up to, if he was being a good student while you were stuck all alone at his home, skipping your own school. you wonder what life is like back at home. did time even pass?
niki heads home as soon as the bell rings. he wanted to see you, to comfort you and reassure you. he wanted you to be okay.
when he knocks on his own bedroom door and there’s no response, he frowns. all there’s left is a pink sticky note on his desk.
went out for fresh air. don’t worry and don’t look for me.
niki immediately drops his stuff and runs out. he goes to the train station, the bookstore. he even goes back to school, for crying out loud.
he’s breathless and exhausted by the time he’s arrived back home. niki knows his family won’t be back. it was competition season, which meant the busiest time of the year for the other dancers. you were the sole reason he attended school at this time of the year, studying hard instead of skipping and dancing 18 hours each day.
he’s scared.
niki hasn’t felt this feeling in a long time—he can only recall the time where he was six and went to disney world. his older sister was pressuring him into riding one of the larger roller coasters, and he felt that sickening nausea fill him as he looked up at the towering structure.
he almost gives up. he basically has, until he notices something strange. his balcony door is unlocked, and he always kept it locked for safety purposes.
tense, niki reaches out and slowly turns the handle. what greets him is certainly not what he expected.
you sit on the balcony railing, hanging over the edge quite precariously with your feet swinging. one slight mistake and you would fall.
you stare down at the passing cars, cloudy and dreary skies showing you it was soon to rain.
niki stares at you, and you turn around at the sound of the door to stare back, not a single word exchanged.
then you finally break the eye contact, glancing down at your stilled feet. “i wasn’t going to do it.”
he silently moves closer, hopping next to you on the railing as well. “okay.”
you don’t see the tender way his eyes travel over you. your voice is quiet as you speak up, “you don’t have to say anything.”
“okay,” niki repeats.
it’s not said in a sarcastic way. it’s not sad, either. it’s just..... soft. soft and understanding enough to make a blanket of comfort fall around you, to make it known that niki’s presence is here by your side.
suddenly, the rains starts and niki asks if you want to go down. you slowly nod and he helps you safely off the railing before opening the door for you guys go out in the rain.
the rain doesn’t stop.
and niki doesn’t stop either. he grabs your hand, dragging you along with him haphazardly.
“where are we going?” you ask breathlessly.
“out. like most people our age. we’re still kids.”
“wow, i had no idea,” you mutter sarcastically.
he holds back a smile of relief. good to know you were still your usual self.
“you need a break. you’ve been so caught up in this case, you need to rest.”
“but-“
“come on,” he leads you on, “relax. it’ll give you a clear mind, so we can come back with a fresh start.”
you’re hesitant until he pulls up at an arcade. “what if someone sees me? what if they-“
niki places a finger over your lips, silencing you. “we’re here to have fun like everyone else and not give a crap about anything else. now, are you gonna play or are you gonna get your butt kicked by me?”
a challenge was a challenge.
you laugh at niki’s rambunctious side, yelling as he tries to cheat during competitive games and fight over the better toy gun.
“just so you know, i technically won.”
you playfully shove him, “in your dreams. you’re just saying that because you don’t want to-“
you get cut off by the loudest (and most embarrassing) grumble of your stomach. you both look down at your stomach. you look back up, petrified.
niki almost cackles, “i guess that’s a sign.”
“it’s not my fault i fell asleep before eating yesterday,” you pout.
“what do you want to eat?”
“anything. i’m serious.”
niki watches with a fond smile as you quite literally inhale your food.
“eat any faster, and you’ll make a new record.”
you flip him off as he laughs, putting more food onto your plate from his. you can only watch wordlessly, feeling your heart warm. after you finish eating, niki takes your hand again. you glance at him questioningly.
“there’s one last thing i wanted to do,” he mumbles while avoiding your gaze.
“how’s this one?”
you scrunch your nose in distaste at the sight, reaching to place red devil horns on niki’s head.
“i think this one fits you more.”
as he grumbles, you laugh.
“fine, but i get to choose yours.”
he ends up picking a frog headband for you—which you complain to no avail. his reasoning was, “you remind me of a frog. like the princess and the frog.”
you splutter, “but that means-“
“yes. i’m the princess.”
“obviously,” he adds.
in the photo booth, you sit awkwardly. niki cocks an eyebrow.
“i’ve never done this before, so…"
instead of teasing you like you originally assumed, niki only brings you closer. he wraps an arm around you while posing for the camera. you’re frozen, even as the countdown starts. you can barely manage a smile as the camera flashes.
“what now?”
niki glances at the screen, “we still have three more pictures. what poses do you want to do?”
you’re at a loss for words.
niki leans closer again. he makes a half heart with his hand as he looks at you expectantly. “how about a heart pose?”
“o-okay.”
you never felt so suffocated in that photo booth. and yet, you’ve never laughed harder. you’ve never been so happy in your life with someone else.
“hey, this photo came out good!”
“but what happened to the first one?”
you both lean in to get a closer look at the photos that printed, and you end up feeling niki’s breath on your cheek.
it was warm. it was nice to have someone so close to you and still feel comfortable. it was nice to know you were close enough to someone to feel that way.
it was something you had never felt before.
“..-y/n?”
“huh?” you snap out of your trance.
“i said, you can keep this copy.”
you look at the pictures and then at niki. “what? no, it’s fine-“
“i said keep it,” he forcefully shoves the photo into your hand as he quickly heads over to the cashier to pay.
you stand there for a minute, looking at the photos. you guys looked happy. you guys looked good…together. like you were a real couple, or something. you internally chide yourself while taking off your headband. what a silly thought, you brush off.
on the walk back home, you feel utterly satisfied, humming as you match your pace with niki’s.
“when we arrive, i’ll let you in through the back, just to be safe.”
“whatever you say, mr. responsible.”
he ruffles your hair and you swat his hand away in annoyance.
that night was the first night you’ve felt content. almost like you could stay here—like you belonged. you stare up at the dark ceiling, reflecting on the days events.
“niki?”
you hear his bed shift. “yeah?”
“i just wanted to say thanks. for everything. you’ve been providing everything for me, all while helping me on my case. i’m grateful for everything. i don’t know how, but i promise to pay you back one day.”
“what’s with the sudden sappiness?” his tone is teasing, but light. he clears his throat to add, “but yeah, of course.”
“i dunno, i guess i’m just not used to this type of treatment back home.”
“what? what do you mean?”
even in the dark, you can feel inquisitive stare on you.
“i mean, i’m usually left on my own since my parents are working. and my friends, well, they’re nice and all…”
“but you don’t feel a true connection?” he finishes, and you roll over.
“yeah. i don’t really know what my friends are like in this world. who even are my friends? do i even have any?”
niki grimaces.
“uh, yeah. i don’t know if they exist in your world, but have you heard of danielle? and haerin?”
“nope. what are they like?”
he shifts again, and the bed creaks. “you see, i don’t really talk to your friend group. it’s nothing personal, i just don’t want to associate with them.”
“dang, maybe it really is just a me problem, in every life too.”
you hadn’t thought about hanni and hyein since you got here. but danielle and haerin were two new leads. a new start, perhaps.
now that you had more information from niki, you started your research again. specifically, insta-stalking.
your specialty.
niki hands you his phone with a suspicious look when you casually ask for it. you pray he doesn’t hear the sound of blood rushing in your ears or the pounding of your heart.
as he goes to do his night time routine, you quickly tap on the instagram app and search up danielle’s name. it doesn’t take long for you to find her account since niki followed her. checking to make sure he didn’t come out of the bathroom, you scroll through her feed.
and your heart stops when you see it. in the corner of a photo—a picture of her and haerin posing at school in front of their lockers.
that’s your ridiculously expensive bracelet on danielle’s arm. you’re sure of it.
you felt yourself grow nauseous as you quickly turn off niki’s phone as soon as you hear the door turn.
“hey, are you okay? you look like you just saw a ghost..”
you blink and smile, peeking at him innocently, although the dread grows in the pit of your stomach. “huh? no. what are you talking about?”
“what were you doing on my phone?”
you look away sheepishly, “trying to see if i could call my mom?” maybe niki’s acting skills were rubbing off on you.
“oh, and?”
you shake your head, a fake grim expression plastered on your face.
that night, you lay awake staring into the darkness. when you hear niki’s soft snores, you sneak over to his bedside table to retrieve the key. you know you shouldn’t, but you felt this was something you needed to do alone.
you feel like you’re on the edge of the cliff, about to jump into the water. the adrenaline filled you, you were right there-
it was so close.
the next day, you have to pretend everything is okay. you smile when niki greets you good morning, even peck him on the cheek when he tells you he has to stop by the dance studio for the night.
he visibly blushes, stuttering on his words, “w-uh, w-what was that.. for..?”
you shrug, “i’m just proud of you for getting your grades up. it’s your first time back dancing in a while so have fun, okay?”
he nods, beaming as he squeezes your hand goodbye. as he leaves, your smile fades. it felt too normal. it felt too right to imagine having a life with niki, like this everyday.
and knowing what you knew now, it was wrong. it was wrong from the start, and yet you couldn't help yourself fall even deeper. you had to get back into the right mental state. you couldn't keep deluding yourself.
it was time to confront the truth.
you can’t believe you’re sneaking into through the school boy’s bathroom again. the locker key safely stored in your pocket, you find danielle’s locker. the same one from the photo she posted.
this had to be the one. you can only hold your breath and hope as you unlock it.
you quickly scramble through all the stuff, looking for the shiny bracelet. you don’t find it, but when you go to close the locker door in defeat, a crumpled up piece of paper falls onto the floor.
you huff, taking it and opening it up. it’s a picture of sunghoon, you, and danielle, all smiling as you three posed for the camera. but it wasn’t just an ordinary picture—there was a big, red “X” scribbled over your face, with the words “finally done” written next to it.
and hearts next to sunghoon’s face.
horrified, you clap a hand over your mouth.
during a break at the dance studio, niki doesn’t expect to open his instagram app and see danielle’s instagram show up on his recently searched. frowning, he taps on the account. he never cared to pay attention to danielle, so why was her account the last thing searched up?
just out of curiosity, he scrolls through her recent posts.
and then he sees it. something that is so hard to miss. it’s so strikingly familiar.
he rushes home. when niki bursts through the front door, he doesn’t expect to find you missing. and when niki notices his old school uniform and cap gone, his heart drops.
you sit on the floor next to the lockers with your head buried on top of your knees. you’re sure you could get caught, but you don’t care.
the crumpled picture feels heavy in your pocket.
you stay there, staring at the walls until you see the moon shining brightly outside one of the windows. you haven’t eaten or drank anything the whole day. you’re not sure how long it’s been.
“y/n!”
great, now you were hearing things as well?
furious footsteps stomp towards you.
“why did you leave without telling me? you could’ve gotten caught-it could’ve been dangerous?!”
“n-niki?” your eyes widen.
before saying anything else, he pulls you up to your feet.
“why would you come to school without me?”
for some reason, his words sting. you cross your arms, “what? like i can’t take care of myself?”
he groans, “that’s besides the point! if someone saw you—“
“i don’t care! so why do you care so—“
a sound from down the hall cuts you both off. you turn to niki in panic and he curses. “the custodian comes on weekends to clean.”
you hold back a yelp as niki grabs your wrist and pulls you along in the opposite direction.
he pushes through a door and turns to the left. you don’t stop until you’re inside the.. natatorium?
“why are we-“
“there are no cameras here, unlike in the school building. i thought you would’ve known that.”
after he speaks, there’s an awkward silence.
niki sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “well, are you gonna tell me?”
you feel the frustration flow through your veins, “and what about you? you tell me why i have to let you know my every location? why i feel like i can’t take care of myself, l-like a sick, old dog who can’t go anywhere or do anything? i’m sick of it all!”
“you don’t understand,” his voice raises, and you interrupt him, getting closer and closer to him.
“you’re right, i don’t. i don’t understand why you helped me in the first place. you say that you barely knew who i was, yet here you are acting like you care! like you cared about the dead me!”
at this point, his face is so close to yours, you can feel your breaths mix as neither of you back down.
“i do care! of course i care! about you, standing right in front of me!” he clenches his fists. your eyes linger on a single vein on his neck that sticks out due to the intensity. the fire burning in his eyes, your trembling voices, it all makes you falter.
you don’t know what you asked. you know the truth. niki always cared—more than cared. he always went out of his way to search for you, like the day on the balcony and today. he wanted to find you, he wanted to have you in his life,
you realize it now. to put simply, he wanted you.
and this was the first time you felt wanted.
you don’t know what else to do, so you lean in and close the gap to kiss him. and if anything, niki immediately pulls you closer to him.
when you break apart for air, his dark eyes still staring deep into yours, you think he’s gonna lean back in again. but you hear a faint voice sound, growing louder. your eyes both widen. the janitor.
without a second thought, niki pushes you.
he does it lightly, although it’s still enough to make you lose your balance, and for a second you stare back at him, betrayal evident before you fall backwards—
straight into the pool.
your eyes just barely peek open in the water, and then there’s a splash accompanying yours a few seconds later.
he easily swims to you, cupping your cheeks and bringing your lips to his once more. it was a much different experience from just a few seconds ago.
you stay entwined like that together, eyes squeezed shut, until you actually can’t breathe anymore and you have to smack niki’s arm. you both rise to the top, heaving water and air.
after a few seconds of coughing and gathering your bearings, niki’s raspy voice fills the air.
“at least he’s gone. i’ve always wanted to do that.”
you roll your eyes, splashing water back at him in revenge for pushing you earlier. “seriously? after we got almost got caught? we could’ve drowned!”
you splash him again, “also, you could’ve given me a heads up!”
he grins, wiping the running water free from his face. “and where’s the fun in that?”
you shake your head in amazement, “you’re actually an idiot. i can’t believe you, niki.”
“an idiot who saved us from getting caught.”
after returning home together, you sit and enjoy the peaceful silence as niki dries your hair. your mind can’t help but replay the last few moments, from finding the picture at school to kissing niki, and then finally get pushed into the pool. specifically, the kissing part.
growing sleepy at the soft and warm feeling of niki’s hands running through your hair, you almost don’t hear him when he says, “all done.”
you thank him and he looks around awkwardly.
“what is it?” you squint at him.
“well, i wanted to apologize. i didn’t mean to make to feel that way. i was just really worried about you, and i felt hurt you didn’t tell me why you snuck into school again today. did you not trust me? did i do something wrong?”
you soften, eyes falling to the floor.
“i’m so sorry, niki. i didn’t mean to lash out on you. of course i trust you, i just wanted to do something for myself for once. without needing your or anyone else’s help.”
you exhale, “the reason i left today was for this—“ you take the damp, crumpled picture and unfold it as best as you can.
niki’s hands fall to his side. “oh god.”
“it was danielle. she took my bracelet and i-i think she wanted my boyfriend. i know it has to be her.”
“w-what? but how?”
you shake your head. he goes to hug you.
you feel tears brimming at the corner of your eyes, but you won’t waste any tears on her. you pull back to look at niki, with a determined expression on your face.
“you have to catch her and make sure they get what they deserve.”
niki stares at you deeply, “are you sure? because if you are, i won’t stop.”
he wonders why you say you and not we.
at that, you falter.
“no. i never be sure because she is—was my best friend and i will always hold that guilt in me. but you have to do something about it.”
niki’s hold around you tightens, “and what about you?”
you smile, albeit sadly. “you know i can’t stay here, hiding away forever. i don’t belong here. i already existed in your world, and at some point, i have to leave soon. i can feel it.”
it was the same feeling as when you first came here. that day you felt off. the feeling that you don’t belong anywhere, but this time, you feel fulfilled. complete. like you were ready to go back home.
“it’s not something i can explain, but i know it,” you look at him with determined eyes.
and he looks back at you with pained ones.
niki is able to convince jungwon to get his dad to reinvestigate the case again. the picture is given up as evidence, and danielle and haerin are taken in.
the day they confessed out of guilt, you and niki celebrate by sneaking onto your school’s rooftop. the same place where it all started.
it’s a cold and windy night, but you could care less about getting sick. because it was your last day anyway.
you didn’t tell niki, but you had a good feeling—like the world was patting you on the back and saying, “you worked hard.”
the two of you watch the stars, snuggled up and reflecting on how your lives came to be like this. wondering how far away apart your worlds were.
you kiss niki’s cheek, wishing to remember the feeling of being in his arms forever. his scent, his touch, his warmth, you wish you could keep all of it. you smile at him, willing back the tears.
“there was a reason i bumped into you that day, of all people. there was a reason you came into my life, and i came into yours, niki.”
he bites his lip, “y/n... you changed my life. every day with you was better than the last.”
if this was a dream, you wouldn’t want to wake up. you trace his face, so it will remain ingrained in your mind forever, even when you go back to your world.
“what will happen when i leave?” you whisper.
“how will you even get back home?”
you shrug, “i don’t know how, but i know that i will.”
niki laughs, “that’s the y/n i know.”
as he kisses you once more, a star falls across the sky.
the next day, you find a ticket in your bag. a train ticket.
you don’t recall having bought one, and you don’t question niki. you only ask him to take you to the train station.
while walking hand and hand, you reminisce on the past month or so. “will we still remember this once you go back to your world?”
your body trembles, “i don’t know.”
“then… will i ever see you again?”
you don’t want to meet his eyes, because you know you’ll cry.
yes, you want to say. instead, you say, “ i don’t know.”
niki wipes a stray tear on your face. you don’t even know how you reached your stop already.
“this is it,” he says.
but neither of you move.
“don’t worry, even if i don’t remember you, you’ll always be in my heart. we’ll meet in your world,” he reminds you while the tears start falling down both of your faces.
“don’t forget that there’s another me out there to annoy you. you just need to search hard.”
you sniffle, playfully pushing him away as you furiously blink away the tears that blur your vision. you needed to soak up the sight of him as much of him as you could.
“i promise i’ll find you again.”
he holds onto you until the very end, until you slip out of his grasp once more.
crossing the platform into the train while giving him one last, slow wave was painful. the last thing you can think of is the fact that you never knew. you never asked for niki’s full name. his real one.
you never knew niki’s name.
and then everything fades into nothing.
that’s the last time niki ever sees you. the train passes by in a flash, blowing his bangs across his face while he tries his best to keep that fake smile on his face for you—all for you before you go.
then, you’re gone.
in those seconds as the train passes, niki knows exactly why he did it. why he helped you through all of it, through everything together.
all because you were there in class. you never looked at him, but he looked at you. he saw all of you, everyday—even if you didn’t know it. all your quirks and habits that he couldn’t help but find cute. you made his days interesting.
but he was the coward for never approaching you. that was his fault because one day, you weren’t there anymore.
and he had to pretend like nothing happened. on the outside, that’s how it was. even if he felt the slightest connection, tiniest pull towards you, you were still strangers.
you were strangers until you knocked into him on the train platform.
niki had to be selfish. he thinks it could have been fate that he saw you again, but now he’s just left with the lingering regret and feelings. those memories flash past like the train does. they come and go in the blink of an eye- a split second.
when the train is gone, niki frowns and wonders why he’s standing there.
he also wonders why it feels like there’s a piece of his heart missing.
after that, he attends your funeral in his world. it was an open funeral to everyone who wanted to come- classmates, friends, and him. niki didn’t even know you that well, but he get this unexpalaniable urge that he should go- he needs to go. he brings flowers and gets to see you one last time.
when niki sees the picture of your serene face, he can’t help but get this sense of peace, like everything’s resolved.
and then he’s free.
epilogue...
you sigh, trudging along the walkway on the way to work. looking at your surroundings, you were getting major deja vu. but at this point, you were used to having episodes like that.
there were many, many times where some things simply felt so familiar. but it was like your memory was wiped and you couldn’t remember why. some times you had flashes of an adventure, a feeling of mystery, a boy.
ever since some day in high school, it just happened. and from then on, you’ve always felt like something was missing. or wrong. you can’t tell. it became a part of you, to the point where you almost forgot about it. that feeling of misbelonging, being just out of reach. it’s strange, like a weird occurrence that makes you want to open your third eye or whatever to find out more.
even after graduating, it never left you.
you being so lost in your thoughts, fail to notice when you bump into someone coming off the train you were about to get onto.
“i’m sorry,” you quickly apologize, but you soon falter when you meet eyes with sparkling brown ones. weirdly enough, they draw you in.
they were familiar, you’ve certainly seen them somewhere. the moment lasts for a while, with the two of you standing still in the middle of the passway, staring at each other.
you slowly smile, extending a hand. “i apologize if i’m mistaken, but have we met before?”
he stares at you too, confused yet enthralled.
“i-i think you may be mistaken,” he starts hesitantly and you begin to apologize.
“are you sure?“ you quickly introduce yourself, “and you?”
you swore you were not such a desperate person, but you couldn’t help it, not this time and definitely not in front of this particularly alluring guy.
“me?”
he takes a quick glance at you before taking your hand with a small smile.
“my name is nishimura riki.”
first i wanted to say thank you for reading! this was a rough time coming, and i wanted to apologize for the long wait. this has actually been a wip of mine for years and i finally was able to finish it with riki after months and months of writing. this past year has been the worst one so far, but i'm just grateful to still be here. just feeling super appreciative for those who stuck with me and waited patiently. thank you. can't wait to see you guys again soon with the next oneshot (hint hint)!
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us. | l.n
summary: and what seemed like fate becomes "what the hell was i doin'?" ; aka time heals all wounds, so they say, but has it been long enough for it to heal the one he left?
warnings: the highly requested part two to ‘august’, use of she/her pronouns, childhood friends to lovers, second chance romance, oscar giving lando advice bc duh, pining, language, lando absolutely word vomiting when it comes to his feelings, fluff towards the end.
‘august’ | listen | masterlist
oscar piastri took pride in being more observant rather than being the life of the party. he much rather preferred to be labeled as the 'wall hugger' rather than the wild child between him and his teammate. he let lando have that role, opting on sitting on the sidelines more often than not.
but tonight, it was completely different. the aussie driver had agreed to hitting the club in monaco tonight to celebrate charles' first home win and his own second place finish. he couldn't shake the feeling that something was going on with his teammate, eyeing him as he sat down in the lounge area the group had gotten for the evening. something out of the normal for the brit.
he decided to take matters into his own hands, joining his friend on the couch. lando sent a tight lipped smile to his teammate, another red flag the aussie picked up on. he wasn't sporting his usual smile, the one that beamed. one of pure joy.
"you feeling alright, mate?" oscar asked, genuinely concerned.
lando nodded in response, "'m good, just a bit tired."
he hummed, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked out at the dance floor of people. the crowd normally lando would be in the middle of, but not tonight.
"gonna make me pry it out of you or are you just gonna tell me?"
lando chuckled softly, letting out a soft sigh, "y'know that new reporter for sky who was in the media pen earlier?"
oscar furrowed his eyebrows in concentration, trying to remember your name, "think so? shit, what was her name?"
"y/n," lando said and oscar nodded in agreement.
"yeah, that's it," the aussie turned back to look at his teammate, "what about her?"
"well, a few years ago, her and i kind of..." lando trailed off, leaving his teammate to raise his eyebrows.
"you two had a thing?"
lando nodded, "yeah, she had a vacation rental next to mine in the states, and one summer we just really hit it off. y'know, we went on dates and eventually it turned into something more, and... oscar, i was in love with her."
the australian was shocked, "did you tell her?"
"i did," lando nodded, swallowing before continuing, "and i was with her when i got the call that they wanted me to join the team, and i just... i fucking left. i left without waking her up and saying goodbye. the best few months of my entire life, falling in love with someone who has never made me feel more loved and appreciated, and it all went down the drain because i fucked it all up."
oscar sat in silence for a minute, processing what the brit next to him had just told him, "well, do you still love her?"
"i never stopped," lando looked over at his teammate, his expression showing the guilt he still felt for leaving that one night, "i don't think i could ever."
"have you told her?"
he shook his head, "pretty sure she hates my guts, so, no."
oscar sighed, "listen, although she has every reason to hate you, i mean, i would too, doesn't mean deep down that she does. obviously, running into you again has probably brought up all of those feelings she worked to get over, but if you really feel the way you're telling me you feel about her, and it seems like you do, you gotta fight for it. you can't just let her slip through your fingers, again, and live a miserable life. nothing's gonna come out of it if you don't work for it."
lando sat in shock at his teammate, blinking at him like a deer in headlights. he had never known oscar to be this wise when it comes to relationship advice. he truly didn't know he had it in him.
"what?" the aussie laughed, "mate, i've been with lily for five years. you think we haven't had our own fair share of ups and downs?"
"no, i'm just amazed that at your age you're so wise." lando joked back, the two of them laughing.
"yeah, whatever," oscar waved him off, "but seriously, i mean what i said."
he nodded, "i know, i just don't know when i should talk to her."
oscar shrugged, "the sooner the better. that way you stop moping around like a sad, lost puppy."
lando jokingly rolled his eyes, pulling his phone from his pocket, "shut up."
his heart hammered in his chest at the thought of messaging you, opening instagram. but, just when he went to open his messages, your profile picture caught his eye at the top of the screen. he tapped onto the story you had posted not long ago, holding it down so it wouldn't disappear as he scanned over the picture.
you were still at the track, posting a picture from one of the offices. a video from your interviews today sitting on the screen, clear that you had stayed late to finish working on them. a caption written out on the photo.
'in desperate need of another cup of coffee'
he was up on his feet before he could even think through what he was about to do. shoving his phone in his pocket as oscar smiled at him softly.
"where're you heading?"
lando turned, walking backwards away from the lounge area, shouting over the bass of the club music playing loudly through the speakers, "'m feeling like having a cup of coffee! thanks for your help, osc!"
oscar raised his glass in a cheers motion to his teammate, watching him turn around and make a beeline for the exit. lily found her way to the lounge area, sitting next to her boyfriend and jabbing her thumb over her shoulder, motioning towards his teammate.
"where's he heading?"
oscar smiled, swallowing the sip of his drink, "going to get his girl."
the night breeze in the monaco air felt nice on lando's skin, a contrast against the overly warm club he had been in. he pulled his phone out once again, searching for a coffee shop that would still be open at this hour. he found one that looked promising after a few minutes of searching, putting in the directions to it and taking off in the direction.
he ignored the hammering of his heart in his chest as he carefully placed the cup in the holders of his car. was it the best idea to show up unannounced with a coffee in hand, especially when he wasn't sure how you felt about him? probably not. but after the conversation with oscar, all he could think about was how he couldn't lose you again. how even after searching for someone to fill the ache in his heart that was put there by his own doing, no one could compare to you. they couldn't ever be you, even if they tried or if he tried to make it work. it wasn't the same.
he parked the car, heading towards the building he knew all the journalists worked in. some of them still hanging around, sending lando smiles but confusion clear in their eyes as his eyes scanned the room.
"do you know where y/n is?" he asked an older man, a guy he had recognized to be your camera man from earlier. the man nodded, pointing towards the room with glass walls. he could see you in the room, your back facing the door. headphones sitting on top of your head, clearly invested in your work. he swallowed nervously, thanking the man before heading towards the room.
you hadn't noticed he entered the room until a hand placing a coffee next to you caught your attention. you slipped the headphones off, placing them on the desk before turning to see who was standing behind you.
he met your eyes, which were also laced with confusion as you spun around in your chair. he sent you a small, nervous smile. the same smile you had given him in the media pen hours ago.
"lando? what're you doing here?" you asked, "and how did you.."
he smiled softly, "saw your story."
"what is it?" you asked, moving to grab the warm cup, "i mean, i like my coffee-"
"with light cream and two and a half sugars. the pink packets, though, not the white ones."
your heart squeezed in your chest, he remembered the way you liked your coffee.
you took a sip of the warm liquid, tasting exactly the way you liked it. you took in a deep breath, meeting his green eyes once again and you swore you were slowly falling in love with him again. it was like you were back at the beach house, back at the exact moment you had realized you were in love with him.
maybe the feelings you thought had gone away after the years weren't truly gone.
your lipstick left a pretty mark on the white lid and he scanned your facial features. in the dim lighting you were still as gorgeous as the day he met you, pretty colored eyes that complimented the color of the strands of your hair. a pair of glasses sitting comfortably on your face, remembering that you only wore them when your eyes were starting to get irritated after a long day.
your voice was soft, "lando, what're you doing here?" you asked again, still confused on why he had come, "i mean, other than dropping off a coffee, which thank you for, by the way, but shouldn't you be out with the rest of the drivers? y'know, celebrating..?"
"well, i was," lando breathed, ignoring how it came out a little shaky, “but, to be honest, i just.. really want to talk to you.”
everything he rehearsed in his head during the driver over here was going out the window with each passing second. the longer he looked in your eyes the more he wished he had never walked out of that house all those years ago. the more it was eating him up inside that he let the best thing he ever had go, that he never told you why.
you sighed, pointing over your shoulder to the screen behind you, “i really have to finish this,”
“it’ll be quick,” he was almost begging. about to get on his knees if he had to, “promise.”
you nodded, your brain yelling at you for agreeing but your heart almost leaping out of your chest at the fact that he was here. standing in front of you. right now. when he could’ve been at the club, wrapped around some other girl. but he wasn’t.
“okay, just, let me grab my things.”
he nodded, biting down on his lower lip nervously as you saved your work and exited out of the editing software. you packed up everything in your bag, pushing the chair in before grabbing your coffee from the desk.
he held out his hand, “here,”
you furrowed your eyebrows in response. he motioned to the bag and you smiled softly, “oh, thanks,”
he nodded, letting you lead him out of the office. you said goodnight to the crew that was left, not batting an eye at the looks they gave you for having the, arguably, most sought out driver on the grid tailing behind you.
once you were outside, he walked next to you. matching your pace as he looked over at you, “so, uhm, how’re they treating you at sky?”
you nodded, “good,” you smiled softly, “didn’t expect i’d work in the same sport as you, to be honest.”
“you’re telling me you didn’t follow me here to make me realize i’ve been missing out all this time?” he joked and you laughed, shoving his shoulder with yours.
“shut it,”
“sorry, too soon?”
you chuckled, “forever might be too soon.”
he chuckled with you, unlocking the doors to the mclaren. he opened the passenger side door, letting you sit down in the seat. you took your bag from him and smiled, a silent thank you, before he closed the door for you and rounded the front of the car to get in on his side. he started the car, looking back over at you, "hungry?"
you hummed, "starving."
"perfect," he said, putting in the directions for a place he knew you'd like. you rubbed your lips together nervously, watching the monaco lights pass by you. the breeze was nice, something you could get used to.
you cut through the silence that fell over the two of you, speaking over the soft music he had put on for the drive, "so, what did you want to talk about?"
he looked over at you, the red of the stoplight illuminating his face. he had grown into his features, but the boyish things about him was what you loved. the way his dimples deepened the wider his smile was, the moles and freckles that littered his skin like stars, and you had noticed the small scar on the bridge of his nose. one that wasn't there years prior, but you had grown to love. you silently hoped he'd tell you the story sometime. wanting to know every detail of his life the past few years, the years you spent watching from the sidelines.
"about what happened," he said, the light turning green and his attention fixing back to the road, continuing to drive, "i feel like i owe you a very long, detailed, explanation."
you nodded as he pulled into a parking lot, "okay, yeah," you breathed out softly, "sure."
he parked the car, turning the engine off before looking back at you. you turned to face him, giving him a soft smile as he looked at you, eyes dancing around your face before he took a deep breath.
"listen, i know it's been a while and i really wouldn't blame you if you hate my guts, but i just... can't. i can't pretend that i've lived in a world i'm completely satisfied with. and i can't bring myself to fall in love with someone else because no matter what, i find myself wishing i was with you, at that stupid beach house where i first felt what love truly felt like."
you sat in silence, taking in his rambling thoughts. this conversation definitely wasn't going as well as he had rehearsed it in his head, but it was too late to turn back now. he was sitting here, spewing every emotion he's felt over the past couple of years in front of you. it's how he truly felt. no filter, no hoops to jump through, just pure emotion and longing and hints of regret, and true apologies.
"you're the first thing i think of when i wake up and the last thing i think of before i go to bed, and hell, sometimes i even find you in my dreams because for a while that was the only place where you and i co-existed. and i'm so fucking sorry for how i left you, how i packed up and moved on with my life without even considering how you would feel. it makes me sick to my stomach to think about the fact that i've fucked up the part of my life that felt normal. that felt real, and all because i was too much of a coward to tell you what was going on. too scared to drag you into all of this,"
he was still rambling and you couldn't help the way your heart hammered against your chest. the moment you had wished for all these years finally unfolding in front of your eyes and you couldn't help the tears that were starting to prick your eyes.
"but now, you're here, and i'm here, and... holy fuck i'm still so in love with you."
his throat bobbed, swallowing down the nerves as you watched him. you were speechless, unsure how to respond to everything he had just spewed to you. your heart was caught in your throat, the tears closer to spilling over after his rambling. he had said everything he was feeling and little did he know it was the same way you had been feeling too.
after every wish and journal entry wishing he'd waltz back into your life, he finally was here. sitting across from you, and now you were speechless. unable to find the words to tell him you felt the same way.
"i'm sorry," he mumbled, looking away and straight ahead of him, almost as if he was embarrassed to spring all of that onto you, "that was a lot all at once, i'm sorry-"
you leaned over the center console, grabbing his face in your hands, turning him to face you and smashing your lips against his. the tears falling down now at the feeling of having him this close again. the familiar feeling of having his lips on yours again being enough to send them dripping down and onto your shirt.
he was quick to kiss you back, as soon as the initial shock wore off. his hand moving to cup your cheek, deepening the kiss as you grabbed his shirt in your fist, not wanting to let go after he had been away from you all this time.
he pulled away when he needed to catch his breath, forehead resting against yours. you smiled softly, the two of you panting breathless and in love. he brought his thumb up to your cheek, wiping away the few stray tears that were still lingering. you leaned into his touch and he pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth.
"i love you," you breathed, nose bumping his, "so much. i never stopped, even after you left."
he smiled, his voice soft, "i'll spend a lifetime making it up to you."
you shook your head, "it doesn't matter. you're here now, that's all that matters."
"can i start with dinner?" he asked, smiling softly and brushing a piece of hair from your face. you hummed and nodded, pulling away from him as he got out of the car, jogging to open your door. you smiled and placed a quick kiss to his lips, joining your hands together. he walked with you into the restaurant, and as he opened the door for you all he could think about how he was the luckiest man on earth.
there was no way he was letting you again. you were incomparable. chemical.
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#ln4 x reader#ln4#ln4 imagine#fluff#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader imagine#lando norris imagine#lando norris fluff imagine#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#formula 1#ln4 fic#ln4 fluff#mclaren#ln4 x y/n#ln4 x you#lando x reader#ln4 x reader fluff#ln4 x reader fluff imagine#ln4 fluff imagine#mclaren f1#formula one#f1#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic
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I am. So fucking tired of Batman being portrayed as a bad parent and a toxic person. And it’s so goddamn widespread. Fuck, it might be as bad as the whole “Superman being a kindhearted Boy Scout is boring” take.
I get it, the man’s not exactly stable, he watched his parents get murdered in front of him and spent years of his life training to fight crime dressed like a giant scary bat, of course he’s not perfect.
But to say that Bruce Wayne isn’t caring, isn’t empathetic, to call him abusive…it just misses the point of who the character is to me.
Why do you think he fights crime? Yes, part of it is because he’s bitter and sad because his parents were cruelly ripped from him as a child, and he’s lashing out against the corruption of his city. It’s arguably the focus of his earlier years. But he learns to become more than that. He learns to bring hope, a chance to be better.
Harleen Quinzel is the Joker’s right hand lady, but she’s also a victim of an abusive relationship and a woman with a surprisingly strong moral compass and a love for animals, and wants to get better. That’s why we see time and time again that he has a noticeable soft spot for her, because he knows that she’s a good person at her core.
Harvey Dent is a man who will decide someone’s fate on a coin toss(and a pretty inaccurate depiction of DID), but he’s also Bruce’s close friend who clearly needs help learning to live with his condition, rather than try to get rid of it, and someone who he still goes out of his way to visit, even after everything, because he recognizes he’s not just a criminal with a weird gimmick, he’s a man who is struggling with a condition that he’s mishandled his whole life.
Victor Fries is a cold, emotionless man who will callously discard allies and blame them for being careless, but he’s also a man who’s either lashing out because he had the love of his life taken from him, or just desperate to make sure she isn’t taken from him, and is willing to do anything just to guarantee her survival. Of course Batman would understand, his whole life was defined by having people he loved taken away from him.
Even the Joker, arguably one of the most morally bankrupt characters in all of fiction, is someone that Batman has offered a chance to. After the guy shoots the daughter of his friend, a girl he cared for like she was his own kid, and paralyzes her from the waist down, he tells the Joker that he doesn’t want to hurt him. He wants to get him help. He looks at this monster who has taken countless lives and says “You don’t have to be alone.”
For fuck’s sake, he sat with Joe Chill in his last moments so that he wouldn’t be alone. Joe Chill, the man who murdered his parents, who took so much from him, the person responsible for all of the misery and suffering he’s gone through. And he sits with the man to comfort him while dies. Do you know how much emotional intelligence and maturity that must take? To comfort someone who arguably ruined your life?
And you’re gonna tell me the man who did that would abuse his kids?
That he’d hold up the young man whose death was his greatest failure, the boy he grieved, and say this?
That he’d look his goddamn son in the eyes and say this to him?
Why the FUCK do you think he took in Dick Grayson in the first place? It wasn’t because he saw the kid and thought “Ah. A potential soldier.”, it was because he saw a boy experiencing the same heartbreaking loss he had so many years ago, and wanted to make sure he didn’t end up as bitter and miserable as he was.
Why do you think he smiled when Tim Drake presented him a broken watch for Father’s Day? Because he was just happy to see the boy alive and safe.
DAMIAN LITERALLY POINTED AT A COW AND SAID “I’m keeping her. She’s Bat-Cow.” AND BRUCE JUST WENT WITH IT. DIDN’T EVEN NEED TO ARGUE WHY BRUCE SHOULD LET HIM KEEP HER. HE SAID “this cow is my pet now” AND BRUCE SAID “aight, bet”.
The thing about Batman is that he wants to make sure nobody else ends up feeling the way he does. That’s not just about stopping a mugger so a boy’s parents aren’t gunned down. It’s about giving his loved ones the support and care that he couldn’t have, because it was taken from him. It’s about comforting someone who just went through a traumatic experience and letting them know that they’re going to be okay. It’s about going to someone locked away in a cell who thinks that they’re a lost cause and a burden to society and telling them that he wants to help them get better. It’s about EMPATHY and COMPASSION.
That’s what makes him a HERO. He’s meant to inspire us, to show us that we can have that same empathy for others around us, that we can turn our suffering into hope for a better future.
I just wish more people at DC would start recognizing that. But I might as well follow that example myself. Maybe through this struggle of having to see this hero mistreat the people around him and act like a grade-A jackass, people will start to recognize that missing compassion, and slowly but surely, it might come back. After all, what is this post, if not trying to bring attention to the matter in the hopes of fixing it?
#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#Robin#Nightwing#Red Hood#Red Robin#DCAU#DC#Dc comics#Batman: The Animated Series#BTAS#The Batman Adventures#Harley Quinn#Harleen Quinzel#victor fries#Mr. Freeze#Harvey Dent#Two-Face#The Joker#The Killing Joke#Joe Chill#spi rant#haven’t used that tag in a while
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WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME ?
genre. fluff. warnings. gunwook's a lil tease and lots of kissing. mention of superman gunwook cosplay (very much needs a warning). pairing. gunwook x fem!reader. wc. 739. request. no. a/n. we did it guys we're finally writing for zb1???? i never thought this day would come 😔
“Ugh, get off me.” You groaned, attempting to shove your boyfriend off of you, but failing miserably. Gunwook seemed deaf to your plea, and only tightened his grip on you, nuzzling his face in your neck.
“No, I’m tired and you’re comfortable.”
You let out a loud over dramatic sigh, glancing down at your boyfriend who easily covered your entire body. He was significantly taller than you.
“Do you have to lie right on top of me?” You asked quietly, sneaking a hand into his hair since you had such easy access.
“Yes.” He mumbled into your shoulder, eyes fluttering closed. Minutes passed by in silence as you continued to scroll through your phone, making peace with the situation. Gunwook seemed a little too quiet, though, and you looked back down at him. He was all curled up comfortably on top of you, legs tangled with yours, arms tightly holding onto your waist. He looked so peaceful.
“Are you asleep?” You whispered, poking his cheek. He groaned quietly, tightening his grip on you and shaking his head.
“Not yet.” He lifted his head slightly, making eye contact with you before winking smoothly, which made you scoff and look back to your phone.
He frowned, “Why are you ignoring me? You’re probably just going to go watch edits even though your boyfriend is right here.” He complained. His former tiredness seemed to have slipped away.
“I’m not.”
“You are.” He insisted, “You were watching them earlier. You even searched them up.”
“I did not! They just show up on my feed.” You knew that you would ultimately lose in this battle, but you were determined to defend yourself for as long as possible. The truth was you had been watching edits of Gunwook on purpose, but who was to blame you? He was the one who had dressed up as Superman after all.
“It showed up because you’ve searched for them before.” He giggled against your neck. Your lips tugged upwards just slightly, endeared by his every mannerism. But you wouldn’t give up this easily. Gunwook had you wrapped around his finger, but your pride was still at stake.
“I only watch them because you would sulk if I scrolled past them. They’re not even that good.” You rolled your eyes to further sell your disinterest in the topic.
“I saw your saved folder.” He whispered, mouth right next to your ear, practically kissing it. Your eyes widened as your fingers slipped and your phone dropped. It landed on Gunwook’s back, and he let out a small “ow”. You had no time to apologise verbally, only rubbing your hand quickly over the spot your phone had hit.
“You did not see the folder!” You panicked, trying harder again to push him off of you. You cursed him in your mind for being so dedicated to building muscle at the gym with Matthew. He was too heavy for you to even budge.
“Just admit you like watching the edits, and I’ll get off.” His lips lifted in a mischievous smile.
You sighed, screwing your eyes shut as you mulled over your two options. Continue to deny and keep your pride, or admit to it and endure his teasing.
“Fine. I guess I do occasionally watch them.” You confessed, rolling your eyes as he let out a satisfied giggle.
“There. Was that so hard?” He beamed at you, finally crawling off your body to lie down on the other side of the bed.
“You’re impossible.” You muttered, rolling to your side, facing away from him. You had about 30 seconds of peace before you heard the sheets rustling as Gunwook scooted over to you again, lying his head down on the pillow as close to you as possible.
“Go away.” You urged, keeping your attention off of him for as long as possible— which was extremely hard, especially when you could still smell the shampoo on his hair from his shower earlier.
“Never.” He vowed, an annoyingly cute giggle escaping his lips and breaking every ounce of your willpower to continue to ignore him. You turned around, not wasting a second before peppering kisses all over his face. His laughter was uncontrollable and extremely contagious, and soon, you ended up on top of him, collapsed from your attack of kisses. You hugged his waist and buried your head in his chest, mirroring the exact same position he had been in minutes before.
↳ zerobaseone taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @okshu,, @chewryy,,
#fics ❀˖°#k-labels#gunwook#park gunwook#zerobaseone#zb1#zerobaseone x reader#zb1 x reader#zb1 gunwook#zerobaseone gunwook#gunwook x reader#park gunwook x reader#gunwook fluff#gunwook fic#park gunwook fluff#park gunwook fic#zerobaseone fluff#zerobaseone fic#zb1 fluff#zb1 fic#zb1 gunwook x reader
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