#and let me tell you: it’s worth it. you’ll be so much happier

[faithfromanewperspective]

idk I just think that sometimes you need to focus away from the injustices around us. you have to sit and listen to that grief and ask yourself ‘what is it telling me that I feel this way? what is it that I really want? now that I know this, why do I want it? can I envision it? what does what I want really look like?’

often the first step to believing change is possible is simply this: it’s one thing to realise that things are wrong, but it’s another to propose a solution that actually works. none of us can see solutions automatically, it’s a creative skill and you have to cultivate it. you have to cultivate the discipline of being like ‘this thing is wrong for (list of reasons) and it is of priority for me to do something about. so I will start by imagining what it would look like if things weren’t wrong’ then go down your list and be like. does what I’m proposing solve all of these problems or does it just create more? how can I come up with a diverse range of ways to solve as many of these problems as possible? because the more things you come up with, the greater chance just one of them will be partially or fully able to be implemented

we desperately need more people to be doing this instead of only yelling on the internet. because we want to fill up the internet with solutions that don’t take a gazillion years to find because everyone buried them under (rightful) complaining. everyone deserves some hope in their lives and really badly needs it!! and we can have a lot more hope when we’re like. okay. this solution did not work but we can problem solve around it and maybe if the next one includes meeting the needs of more people. it’s more likely to happen.

[silent-stories]

I'm with the band

(Eddie Munson x F!reader) reader has long hair, mention of drugs.

"There are too many people out there,” Eddie said nervously, aimlessly pacing in the backstage for the fourth time, nearly colliding with the other band members who were getting ready to go on stage.

He wasn’t wrong; the Hideout had never been this crowded, and you were the one to thank (or to blame). You had invited Robin to come see Corroded Coffin play that night, and she had called Vickie, who in turn had invited some of her friends. While chatting with Robin, Nancy and Jonathan overheard and joined in (despite Nancy not seeming thrilled about “listening to four guys scream all night”), and Jonathan had invited his quirky friend visiting from California too, who brought along more friends.

In short, friends had invited more friends, and they, in turn, had invited others, making the place more packed than it had ever been.

Eddie’s dark curls bounced on his shoulders with each step, and his self-cropped Anthrax t-shirt, cut with kitchen scissors a few days prior, revealed a sliver of his stomach.

Jeff rolled his eyes and walked away. He wasn’t ready to hear Eddie give the same speech for the fifth time in half an hour.

“Eddie, can you stop for a moment?” you got up from the old armchair where you’d been sitting since they let you into the backstage area that evening.

You grabbed a drumstick Gareth had left on the table and used it to secure your hair into something that was supposed to be a messy bun. It was a habit you’d picked up a few weeks ago, and you were pretty sure your drummer friend was starting to hate you for it.

"Eddie,” you repeated his name when you reached him, placing your hands on his arms to stop him. “It's gonna be okay.”

He let out a long sigh, wondering if you were aware that your touch alone could calm him in seconds, more effectively than hundreds of words ever could. When your hands returned to your sides, he already missed that contact.

He stared at you for a moment, his brown eyes filled with insecurity. “No,” he shook his head.

“Eds, you need to stay calm. They’ll like you, and-”

“Sweetheart, no one likes us. You’re the only person who claps every time we play here.”

“Because the other times, there wasn’t enough audience! This time will be different, trust me.”

“The last time I played in front of so many people, I was in middle school, and the whole school laughed at me. I’m not ready to experience that again.”

Eddie saw how your expression softened and worried at the same time, and he almost wished he hadn’t said it.

He ran a hand through his hair, disheveling it even more than his quick pacing had already done. “God, I really need a joint right now.”

You let out a little laugh at that comment, and one corner of Eddie’s lips involuntarily lifted. The sound of your laughter always made him happier.

“No, all you need is a friend who tells you that you’ll rock it and that everything will be fine. And I’m here now, telling you that.” You stood on tiptoe to fix a stray curl.

“Trust me, please?” When you looked at him like that he couldn't help but believe you, or at least try. You always believed in him.

"Okay."

You smiled. God, you were so pretty and he had been so anxious that night that he hadn't even remembered to tell you.

"Okay?"

"Okay." He repeated, more confident this time.

Somewhere behind you you heard Jeff shout. "Five minutes and we're on stage!"

“Fuck.” Eddie sighed.

"Eddie. Eds, look at me. You have to promise me two things before you go out there. I'm serious."

Eddie remained silent, nodding slightly.

"The first is that whatever people do, think or say, you have to remember that it won't define you. I know who you are. I know what you're worth. I don't give a shit about them. A shit. Zero. Nada."

Eddie chuckled. "Second thing?"

"Second thing is, when you're famous you'll let me come on tour with you."

Eddie laughed, for real this time. Those dimples that you loved so much have appeared on his face. "You said you were serious!"

"Oh and I am! One hundred percent!"

Eddie, still laughing, placed his hand over his heart, as if swearing a solemn oath. "I promise on my honor."

"Okay, I'm happy now."

"I wouldn't go anywhere without you anyway. You're pretty much an integral part of the band now. I planned on kidnapping you in case I ever left town but you make things a lot easier now."

"Well, I guess you won't need it."

"Two minutes!" Jeff shouted.

"I think I have to go now."

You nodded, a smile still on your lips.

"C'mere." He quickly said before wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling you against his chest in a hug.

You inhaled his scent for a few seconds, it was smoke and cheap beer, like all the other times. For you, there was nothing better.

After a moment, you slightly pulled away but his hand was still on your back, as if he wasn't ready to let you go, and you found yourself looking into his chocolate brown eyes trying to figure out what was happening.

His gaze wasn't on your eyes though. It seemed like your mouth had caught his attention.

When you realized his lips were so close to yours that you could feel the heat of his breath on your skin, a voice interrupted the moment.

You cleared your throat as Eddie took a step back.

"My drum stick!" Gareth repeated, a bit of frustration but also amazement because of what he had just seen in his voice, moving his gaze between the two of you.

"Fuck, you're right." You murmured, pulling it out of your hair and handing it to him. You had completely forgotten about it.

Gareth looked at his friend. "Are you coming with us or you two want to get a room?"

"Yes, no, I mean. I'm coming, fuck, I mean. I'm ready. All ready. Yes. Ready."

You giggled when you saw a light shade of red on his cheeks.

"I'll be cheering for you in the front row, you know that."

"I know. Thank you sweetheart."

He looked at you one last time before following Gareth onto the stage.

You stood there for a second. Wondering what the hell just happened.

Then you left the backstage.

[bouncybongfairy]

hello~ i love ur work and i hope ure doing well! i was wondering if u could write a sub overstimulated zuko with thigh riding and/or dry humping please? thank you 🩵🩵

Good Boy

Prince Zuko x Fem Reader

Summary: Zuko sneaks you into his room in the palace. After teasing him until he can't take it anymore, you finally let him have what he wants.

Word Count: 1.0k+

Account Ref: @kaionyx

TW: Smut, Overstimulation, Sub Zuko.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

You’d just gotten back from visiting family, four hours away from home. It was a long two weeks, not to mention the first you’d been away from Zuko since becoming an item. It was hard being away but felt so worth it as you got ready. The entire family was exhausted from the travel, which made it quite easy to sneak out. Making sure you were fully presentable before climbing out the bedroom window. It wasn’t cold outside but you were shivering with excitement. A grin on your face that couldn’t be wiped away. Zuko opened a side door in the palace, beaming when he saw you. Both giggling as he snuck you back to his room. 

It was nice to see a happier side of him, being more carefree. Hiding in corridors or behind large columns until finally making it to his room. It was huge, it always surprised you whenever going inside. He wraps his arms around your waist, kisses the back of our neck. Telling you how much he missed and thought about you all day. Making you blush and laugh as he ambushed your neck with affection. He let you go once you pulled away, walking over to the bed. Taking off your coat and getting comfortable on the bed. Zuko couldn’t get enough of you, burying his face in your neck. Holding you tightly against his body, taking your scent in. 

“Homework? Really?” he asked. 

“I like getting it done early, so I don’t have to worry about it later,” you said, trying to keep your focus on the scroll. 

“I’ll make it worth the worry,” he said, grabbing it from you and setting it aside. 

The temptation was just too much to ignore. Especially when you looked over at him, his hair down and eyebrows furrowed. His eyes were wide and he looked so desperate. You climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. Watching his mouth fall open as you focused your sex against his. Rubbing yourself up and down his length, enjoying his facial expressions. He was rocking his hips, only adding to the pleasure. It was nice seeing him so reactive to your touch. You could feel him throbbing against your clit. His hands were gripping your hips tightly, digging into the skin. Leaning down and connecting your lips together. Not caring about the layer of clothes separating you. After being apart for so long, no point in wasting precious time. He arched his hips up, giving you more access. Taking the hint, you begin to increase your speed. Wanting to see how far you could push it. Both of you were letting out needy moans, you gripped the material of his shirt as you started to cum. Feeling you pulsate and tremble against his shaft sent him over the edge. Cumming into his boxers, soaking the area even further. After sitting together for a couple moments, catching your breath before switching positions. 

“Wanna get on your knees for me?” you whispered into his ear. 

He practically jumped off the bed, dropping to his knees in front of you. It gave you such a high watching him be so eager to please you. The future Fire Lord at your, kneeling in front of you. He’d already came once and you could see he was still feeling the rush of oxytocin. His face was beat red and pupils were wide as could be. Leaning forward, trying to push his face between your legs. You grabbed a fist full of his hair, pulling tightly at the strands. He let out a low grunt and looked up at you smirking. Almost like he was relieved he didn’t have to ask to be dominated. 

“What do you want?” you ask, tilting his head to the side slightly.

“Anything you’ll give me,” he said, more like whining. 

You smirked and loosened your grip. Allowing him to finally get his head between your legs. Kissing your inner thighs before moving towards your lips. Flicking his tongue at an agonizing pace. You were touch starved, making things feel more sensitive than normal. He was letting drawn-out moans as he ate you. His cock throbbing against his stomach, hands resting on your knees, which were still trembling. Seeing how reactive your body was to his touch was making him feel dizzy. A combination of your wetness and his saliva was dripping down his chin; making a train down his chest. Completely consumed with pleasure; involuntarily humping the air every once in a while. Meanwhile, you were trying hard not to cum, wanting to ride out the wave of burning pleasure in your lower stomach. He couldn’t hold himself back anymore and came onto his stomach. Being so heavily engulfed in pleasure, he stops working his tongue. Instead, just pressing his lips against yours, moaning and panting against you. 

Still having a grip on his hair, you pull his head back. You jerked his head back pretty hard, his hands flew behind him to catch his weight. His own cum was dripping down his stomach, lips red and swollen. Using the grip you had on his hair, you stand the two of you up and push him onto the bed. He was weak and pliable, which made you giggle. You crawled on top of him, lining yourself up with him before sinking down. Both of you let filthy sounds slip from your lips. The look on his face was priceless, mouth agape and eyebrows furrowed. You were rocking your hips faster as he continued to squirm beneath you. His hips were bucking and jolting into you, hitting you right in the cervix. The pain felt more pleasurable than you’d admit. His nails were digging into your thighs. Working yourself on his cock solely for your pleasure; although he still seemed to enjoy himself. Moaning and muttering a mixture of curse words and Zuko’s name as you spill over the edge. Feeling him throb as your walls milked him. Letting your body fall forwards so the two of you were chest to chest. He wrapped his arms around your waist and filled the two of you over. Letting his full body weight rest onto you and falling asleep.

[cozage]

Hi. How are you? Congratulations! Can I please have an option 1? How about Law, Zoro, Sanji, Luffy, Sabo and Ace (feel free to pick and choose) teaching a s/o (preferably female) how to fight? Like Zoro teaching the reader to sword fight or Sanji teaching his to use black leg. Thank you 💙🤍💙🤍

Omg girlie hey!!! How have you been?!!? Good I hope <3 

Send me an event request!

Characters: gn reader x Ace, Zoro, Sanji, Luffy Total word count: 650

Teaching Moments

Ace

Literally so patient and such a good teacher but works you to the bone. He forgets that you are new at this and he has been training since he was born.

Hand-to-hand combat isn’t necessarily your strong suit, but he figures out you're quite good with a pipe. 

He is also very good at fighting with a pipe (is there anything this man is bad at?!?!)

He won’t pull punches or go easy on you just because he loves you. You will crawl away from your training sessions with bruises and cuts all over your body.

After your sessions, he’ll walk with you to Marco to get healed up, and then he’ll give you a really nice, warm massage to loosen up your muscles. That alone makes your training day worth it. 

You sometimes feel like you’re not making any progress, but when you start fighting people who aren’t Ace, you realize you’re much better than most of them. Fighting the best of the best really has its perks.

Zoro

Zoro is a good teacher…most of the time. 

He gets frustrated easily when you don’t follow instructions, and expects you to come in with basic sword skills, but you don’t have any. 

You have to remind him that not everyone grew up in a dojo, where they learned about swords morning, noon, and night. After he learns that, he takes you back to the beginning, teaching you in a new light. 

He returns to the bamboo stick and the formations, and suddenly he becomes happier, laughing more with you and telling you about his childhood at the dojo. Every skill you learn is paired with a “Well when I was a kid…” story, and it warms your heart. 

He takes you to a store to get your own swords. He definitely believes that you need to pick your own sword. He gives you pointers and advice, but he mostly leaves it up to you. He knows how important of a decision it is, and he won't interfere with fate.

He takes it easy on you. He can skillfully decipher just how much he needs to pressure you to get you to continue to grow.

Zoro doesn't understand much in his life, but he does understand two things: swords and you.

Sanji

Sanji. Bless his heart. He is not a good teacher. 

He goes too easy on you and treats you like you’re too fragile.

It actually begins to put a bit of a strain on your relationship because it feels like he doesn’t think you’re capable of fighting the way he does.

In reality, he just doesn’t think a lady needs to fight. And he certainly doesn’t want to hurt you during training. He can’t hit a lady, even to defend himself.

He wants you to learn, and you know he’s not being rude or malicious, but in order to save your relationship, you end up finding another fighting instructor. 

Instead of fighting, you help him prepare meals. And thankfully, he’s more than happy to let you help him do kitchen prep. 

Luffy

Luffy is…Luffy. 

Your training sessions always start out strong. He’s surprisingly good at giving you pointers (“raise your elbow” or “a right hook would’ve been better than a direct attack right there”)

Sometimes he forgets that not everyone has gum-gum powers. He’ll advise you to fling your body towards your opponents and you’ll just kind of deadpan and wait for him to realize his mistake, which always leads to a fit of giggles from you both. 

Training sessions never last long. You guys always get distracted by someone or something, or you all get hungry or start chasing each other around, laughing and playing another game. 

It’s always fun, you’re just never sure how much you’re actually learning. Sometimes you get irritated and think neither of you are taking it seriously, but Luffy’s way of life is “if it’s not fun, we shouldn’t do it”. 

Little do you realize, he’s actually training you through the games you all play, and the mischief you guys get into. He’s a pretty good teacher overall. 

[misssmeat]

30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30

In celebration of my next decade, I took some time to document some of the obvious and not-so-obvious pieces of wisdom I've collected in my life. I wrote this as an exercise to celebrate my own growth, but I thought I would share it.

I spent over half of my 20s with all of you, here on tumblr. It was a messy decade spent figuring out who I am, what I want, and how to create the life I dream of. I'm ending my 20s happier, more sure of myself, and excited for the future. Thanks for joining me on the journey.

Here's to the next decade of being older. Wiser. Sexier. Here's to 30.

Love and Relationships

Give it three dates if you’re on the fence about someone. Love at first sight (or first date) is rare.

If he’s significantly older and makes you feel special for being “mature for your age”… there is something very wrong. He’s gross, and I promise you’ll see it one day and be furious for your past self.

Co-dependency is not love. 

Your partner is not your therapist. Do not treat them as such. 

Holding hands is a superior form of intimacy. 

Sometimes love isn’t enough. 

As annoying and cliche as it is, self-love is the most important love you’ll discover. 

Be intentional in your relationships - intentionally make time, intentionally show care, intentionally respect your partner, intentionally adore. (This applies to friendships too.)

Strong relationships are built on strong foundations. Communication, trust, kindness.

Life is made of millions of tiny moments. The tiny moments make the difference more than the grand gestures. 

Sex and Kink

Sex is supposed to be fun. Too many people forget this. It’s adult playtime. Don’t take yourself too seriously. 

Your limits are sacred. Never let anyone convince you otherwise. 

There is no such thing as a “true” sub/Dom/etc. Do what makes you happy. It’s really that simple. 

Confidence is 75% of success in the bedroom. I never truly know what I’m doing, but if I act like I’m the hottest girl on earth… my partner goes nuts for me regardless.

Keep water near at all times.  

Bondage is much more physically taxing than you might imagine. A rope buddy taught me to keep chocolate near for the sugar boost after physically taxing positions. 

Sometimes things get messy. Don’t worry, it’s normal. 

Give feedback and be open to feedback. We are all different, so there should be a learning curve with each partner.

Butt stuff hurts a lot less if you train your muscles slowly over time. 

If you’re not in the mood, don’t feel pressure to force it. Respect what your body is telling you. Likewise, respect your partner if they aren’t in the mood. 

Everything Else 

Ladies - unlearn creating yourself for the male gaze. It’s overrated.

Western cooking isn’t always superior. See the fried egg in France vs. Hong Kong. I’ll die on this hill.

Your worth and value are not tied to anything you’re offering or producing. Existing is the most radical thing we can do. 

Find a hobby that doesn’t require the internet. I found painting and reading. 

Your energy is valuable. Be selective in where and how you invest it.

When washing your hair, go through your shampoo routine twice before conditioning.

Go on walks. Touch grass. Feel the sun on your skin.

When in doubt, adopt a cat. 

Go to therapy. No matter where you are on your mental health journey, therapy will probably be a game changer.

Do not underestimate the power of forgiveness. Holding onto anger is not as empowering as I once believed it was.

And one last bonus thought: no matter what, always make space for joy.

❤️.

[pt2change]

most beautiful someone — park jihyo

pairing: park jihyo x reader

genre: gf!jihyo, insecurties, jihyo thinks youre the most beautiful person ever

word count: 1, 392

↣ jihyo masterlist

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

you’re about to fall asleep on the couch when you hear the door slam

it startles you completely awake, and you sit up straight rubbing your eyes

you blink a couple of times to better your vision

and that’s when you see jihyo, your girlfriend, standing in front of you

and she looks just as tired as you are

her makeup slightly smudged, her hair pulled back into a ponytail

and she was wearing your gray sweater, you noticed how it was falling off her shoulder

like if she had put it on in rush, not caring how it looked

despite it all, jihyo smiles at you

her entire face lights up, “hi”

she takes off her purse and shoes, leaving them by the entrance, and walks over to sit on the couch instead

she raises her legs from the ground to place them on your lap

“i tell you all the time, you don’t have to wait up for me. it’s okay if you’re asleep when i get home.”

“yeah, but i’ll wait for you every night” you respond, running your hand up and down her thigh, “so save your breath, jihyo. i want to see you before i close my eyes at night”

jihyo grins, before leaning over and placing a greedy kiss on your lips

to be honest, you’re not sure if it’s going any further than that —

(which is okay!!!!)

(you’re so exhausted that you’re pretty sure there’s a possibility you’ll fall asleep if you and jihyo had sex right now)

still, you let yourself relax and enjoy the moment with jihyo

when you pull apart, jihyo takes her sweater off and rubs her eyes, smudging her makeup even more

she still has her blouse tucked into her pants and she removes the lanyard with her work ID from around her neck

“our new interns started today and 3 of them asked for my number” she says casually, her fingers trailing delicately up and down your arm

you raise your eyebrow, “hmm, were any of them attractive? did you do it?”

jihyo giggles softly, “no… and no. you know i’m all yours”

it wasn’t the first time jihyo had gotten hit on by her coworkers or interns that came in and out of the office

you smile at her in response, jihyo keeps tracing your arm up and down and the other one resting around your shoulders

and jihyo thinks she’s never been happier than when you two are close together like this

you two sit in a comfortable silence for a few seconds before you speak up

“i can’t say a blame them, jihyo” you tease her

you move your hand up higher on her thigh to prove a point, “you’re kinda hot.”

jihyo smirks, “mmm, i could say the same thing about you”

she’s teasing you, seeing how this will play out, but in all honesty it just confuses you

you’re wearing flannel pajama pants that are too large and the famous i love ny shirt jihyo had brought back for you

you begin to start making a mental list of insecurities that are flowing out of your brain

it’s not even worth comparing yourself with jihyo, she’s like some goddess designed to strike the hearts of anyone who so much just looks at her

you can’t help but laugh before you even try to convince yourself that you and jihyo are in the same league

“yeah, right” you say shaking your head lightly, “come on, let’s go to bed”

jihyo pouts, “in a minute.”

then her voice starts to get soft, but serious, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

when you look at her, jihyo’s eyebrows are furrowed into a frown almost

but you don’t get the hint, “what? let’s go to bed?”

you chuckle and play along, “it’s when people are tired and lay down in bed and close their eyes to sleep, we should really try it-“

“no, y/n,” jihyo cuts you off, “why did you laugh after i called you hot? i was flirting with you, it wasn't a joke”

Oh….

you shift in your seat, suddenly feeling uncomfortable, you shrug “well i mean, i know you like me but we’re not exactly on the same level.”

you sigh, “you have so many people lining up at your door, meanwhile i’m sure if i shaved my head, people would think i was a 12 year old boy” you chuckle, trying to ease whatever was in the air

jihyo’s mouth hangs slightly open, “how could you even say that, y/n?”

she removes her legs from your lap and scoots closer to you

“i’m just not pretty pretty-” you say, fiddling with a loose thread from your pants

you continue, “it’s not that big of a deal to me, jihyo. especially with the sisters i grew up, it was just obvious. and- and now with you- it just. it doesn’t matter to me”

you aren’t sure why you’re stuttering or why the words are difficult to come out of your mouth.

because truly, it doesn’t matter nor does it bother you.

it’s not like you ever wanted anyone’s attention — well, anyone that isn’t jihyo

and jihyo wants you all to herself, so it works out perfectly.

“y/n,” jihyo says softly, she climbs into your lap, straddling your legs, her face is only inches away from yours

she wraps her arms around your shoulders, “you are so fucking gorgeous, y/n. i swear i can’t ever seem to keep my eyes off of you. it’s dangerous even.”

she tucks your hair behind your ear, “like i’ll be making breakfast and you’ll walk around in your underwear, and i keep my eyes on you for so long that i almost end up burning the whole place down.”

she pauses for a second, “nayeon will tease me about it too because she says i look like i’m drunk the second i even just glance over at you”

“yeah but that’s because we’re together” you say quietly, struggling to look at jihyo in the eyes, when your faces are just inches apart

“it’s not like anyone else would want me, and i don’t care, jihyo. i just want you.”

you add that quickly at the end to reassure jihyo, but she just roll her eyes

“oh my god, y/n, you are so much work,” she begins “your face is perfect, your body is perfect, you’re perfect. and i love you just the way you are, y/n. and you’re so incredibly hot.”

she nods her head, “i’m not the only one who thinks so either. remember when we went to my friends wedding?”

you nod your head in response, and jihyo continues, “one of the groomsmen came up to me told me he thought you were sexy and asked me for your number! or this other time we were walking around the city, and you had on those shorts that make your ass look so good, and some guy kept staring. i swear i almost cussed him out right then and there!”

jihyo sighs in relief, “anyone who doesn’t think you’re attractive is crazy, y/n. if anything you look like you came out of a fairytale.”

wow…..

and suddenly you’re so overwhelmed with emotion that you feel like you can’t breathe

jihyo’s looking at you with so much admiration in her eyes

you places your hands on her hips and give them a light squeeze, “okay.” you respond softly

“okay?”

you nod your head, “if you say i’m beautiful, then i am.”

jihyo smiles at you, “you’re more than just beautiful.”

you nod your head again, grinning at jihyo

jihyo bring your face closer to hers and gives you a kiss on your lips

“can we go to bed now?” you ask her and she giggles in disbelief

“fine” she responds, getting up from your lap and grabs a hold of your hand to so she can help you up

“y/n, i should warn you, i don’t think i’m that tired anymore.”

“oh, is that right?” you respond, letting jihyo pull you up

once you're up it’s not long before jihyo stands closer to you

she starts lifting the bottom of your shirt up, “yeah, so why don’t you let me show you just how much you drive me crazy”

[diduthinkihadforgotten]

i hate that i’m still, at least partially, yours. that i’m still talking about this, so here’s me trying to get the last of it out.

you’re the first person in a damn long time to make me feel even sort of human. like i wasn’t some kind of fucked up monster with attachment issues and half a god complex.

you actually and legitimately saw me. the whole person i never really let anyone else ever get to know. that hit because id been all but begging for him to see me for 2.5 years. i spend a day with you and you’ve already got me wrapped around your finger.

it’d be really, really easy to brush it off, like “oh yeah we just got along well cause our brains are the same type of broken.” something something empathy issues. and honestly, it wouldn’t be fully untrue.

i’m a liar at my core. a fraud who has somehow escaped having imposter syndrome despite a calculated facade of humanity. you saw through me and liked what you saw. i was honest with you because it never seemed worth it to do anything else. you did the same. we sat at the park and pinky swore. it meant the same to you as it did to me and you said as much.

we talked about everything. from dumb gossip to the intricacies of family politics. every decision i had to make we talked through together. as a team.

what sucks is that it wasn’t even a real relationship or anything. we never bothered with a label beyond friends. mostly because we couldn’t, i think. i remember a drunk conversation where you told me you fantasized about running away together, quote- often. it wasn’t a breakup, we got caught fucking around and found out. got cocky the first time when we mutually told the same lie to our friends and loved ones and got away with it.

i think about all the dumb romance. taking pictures of each other, sneaking off to go sit behind his car and make out when no one was looking. petty squabbles over who would pay for dinner. buying each other random, “hey i saw this and thought of you,” gifts.

i was never happier than when we’d have dumb conversations on my bed about shitty horror movies. playing pokémon on their floor and being automatic teammates in any and all situations. falling asleep together and waking up suffocated by the heat in that room. our dumb bits, the fact that you loved my shitty humor.

i keep wondering if you’re anywhere near as torn apart by this as i am. i think maybe- you still text me even though that’s borderline suicidal behavior in your current situation. i don’t think im allowed to reach out to you, so i don’t. communication feels disjointed now, i know that’s on me. i’m sorry for that, but the way.

my mind keeps going back to watching the sunset on the beach. we sat in the sand building half a sand castle and we talked about happiness. i remember you looked at me, and told me that you were truly happy in that moment. i remember smiling at you, and saying i was too. we talked about what that meant. happiness. and came to the conclusion that that was very dangerous, and we should probably stop before shit gets weird. we didn’t. we didn’t even try.

you called my house home that night, and i reacted poorly. i’m sorry for that, too. the wounds were still too fresh and we weren’t sitting on the beach anymore. in the car you told me you thought i fell in love with my friends, and i said something pretentious about the grecian types of love. it sparked a conversation with the other people there, which i was grateful for. when we got home, i had left my lights on. we watched a few movies, played a couple pokemon games and i turned off the lights.

it was always in the dark we were the most intimate. staring at the ceiling and talking about love. i think it was safer that way.

you’re still it for me. when i tell people stories they’re always about us. i still miss you more than i’ve missed anything on this earth. i still hope you’ll come back someday. maybe in 600 years- that was always our backup plan. if not in this lifetime, maybe the next. you pressed your forehead to mine and held my hand, told me we were twin flames.

i laughed then, but i think you know better than i do. if we’re speaking spiritually, the stars told us this would happen. we talked it over and came to the same conclusion. unlucky this time, better luck next time.

[mostlyjustgoose]

that last image of Crowley

I know that look.

When you beg, Please, mom, just one PFLAG meeting, just to see what it’s like. You might really like the people there. You don’t remember the words but you remember that what she said left you feeling like this. Smaller than yourself, hurt, empty. Alone in the world.

When you beg, Please, I don’t understand why I can’t have the surgery, I feel like I’d be happier and healthier. She says you’re too young; you might change your mind about having children. You felt like this then. Did it hurt more, or less, or has it always hurt the same? By now you’re not sure. You are learning the thousand yard stare. 

When you beg, Please, why can’t we tell your parents I’m not just your friend, why can’t we tell them we’re dating. Why can’t I see you, why won’t you come see me. You remember the response. The fear. They can pass for normal; you’ve always been a little suspect, even when you try not to be. And there is so much money on the line. For school, for grad school, for medical school, for getting married and having babies. For establishing a normal life. 

You don’t know why you tried, afterwards, carrying this feeling with you under your skin and struggling not to let it show in your eyes.

Your patience is simply the bleak endurance of all your disappointments.

You lock yourself in a small space with the few comforts you can bear, and you keep moving. Eventually you don’t even really need to lean out the window to ask directions of someone. You just keep going, alone. Because every time you beg, every time you lay out your heart’s desire to someone who could give it to you, it goes wrong. 

It leaves you right back where you started, only with a hole torn in you that you can’t show.

You’ll never beg again, and if that makes you a bitter old queer then so be it.

(But you wish all the way down to your bones you could still feel like maybe it would be worth it to beg one last time.)

[luveline]

hi jade! i was wondering if you could give me some advice? or at least share your thoughts and feelings about writer’s block and a lack of motivation. i love writing and i love sharing it to tumblr but i experience such bad waves of being unable to produce any sort of creativity and it makes me so miserable! because i want to write but it’s as though i’m too tired to even attempt it. even if i have things all planned out and ready to expand upon, actually having to apply my brain power is just so daunting. do you ever experience this? and do you have any tips or things you do that help you push past it? thank you, lots of love <33

hi lovely girl, I can totally do that!

im exactly the same I love writing and I love sharing it so much, but sometimes I encounter these blocks in my head and I can’t write, and then I’m upset I can’t write, and that makes it harder cos I end up tying my productivity to my happiness! I don’t know if that’s why you get upset too, and if that loop is tiring you out!! like especially for big projects I’ll know exactly what I wanna write but I can’t do it cos I end up thinking about what readers might want or if I’m even any good or if it’s dull !! generally, I try to let myself have those days where I don’t write and ignore the guilt cos it doesn’t work in our favour!! and mind over matter is always easier said than done but I think if you can release yourself from the making= proof of love or maybe making = proof of worth then you’ll be happier, I’m much happier when I don’t think about the big picture

anyways, sorry if that’s a bunch of blah!! When I get misery related writers block, I usually end up starting a new project that I never finish, or rewriting something I didn’t think was worth posting, because it can give me a nice confidence boost to just finish something, even if it’s a slog. But that requires the writers block not being that bad I guess so maybe that’s a silly answer. If I have the type of writers block where I just CANNOT write, I usually end up trying to “refill” the well of creativity with movies and music and stuff, like, re-inspiring myself and remembering that the world is absolutely huge and my experiences (that get kind of boring) are a eight billionth of the actual human experience (which might be a pretentious way to say I try to write like I’m somebody else for a while, try to avoid my commonalities, and go in new directions). Also it’s okay to just do nothing!!! Waste your time or spend it doing stuff that doesn’t amount to a finished product, like watching YouTube videos or going for walks. Also, I love to write poems so I sometimes do that too cos poems can tell a very big story in a small amount of words so it’s less intimidating. I hope this helps, I love you!!

[fireemblems24]

Hey there just wanted to double check something. You mentioned that you’re further ahead in Hopes than your posts. So I wanted to check if you remembered about the kinda sorta route splits the routes have? It happens in chapter 10 of SB, chapter 10 of GW and chapter 12 for AG (don’t know why AG is the odd one out but whatever). It doesn’t really do too much other than some small bits of alternate stuff but I remember you saying that you wanted to make sure to have the happiest end for the Blue Lions. So at the least maybe keep the route split stuff in mind for AG because I’m pretty sure you’ll be happier with one version of that route over the other (for reasons that’ll be obvious once you reach that point of the story). Though I will say the other version of the route also has some good character content that is at least worth watching on YouTube!

I actually just beat SB and GW ch 10 (will be starting AG soon). So I know what thing you're talking about.

I also know which one is happier. I tried to guess what the AG version is, and no matter who it was, I knew I couldn't deal with it because I either liked the character or they were the father or someone I liked too much to let be sad.

I won't tell you the results of what happened to SB and GW except that I know what happens when you get the unhappy result.

If anyone wants to spoil the AG result for the bad thing, feel free because it'll give me motivation to NOT let that happen. (I have a secret dread it's Dedue or Rodrigue, but probably Gilbert or Gautier, but I can't let any of that happen).

[sxnfullyswxetobsxssions]

I will go down with the ship that is Al and Finn and I don’t care what anyone else says, you’re a genius and perfect for writing such a story !

Finally al and Finn kiss and it’s everything I ever wanted ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

I’ve been wanting this almost as much as al and finn and reading it happen makes me happier than anything!

Since we’ve seen so much from finns POV I don’t think we’ve gotten a clear idea about how much al wanted finn this whole time. I only realized it when he went into the bathroom where finn was to give him a “clean towel” hahahah

Part of me wanted finn and al to really *do it (let that twink be destroyed hhahaha) but I know that finn is inexperienced and al doesn’t wanna pressure him and both want to take this relationship seriously— I can’t wait to see what obstacles they have to overcome next -

Vance and Terence are the biggest obstacles right now and I have no idea how that will go. With Vance, I’m sure al hates him for sending his little minions to shoplift and cause trouble hahah but seeing them interact should be tense and interesting……. After their little showdown in chapter 5 or so in the grab n go, I’m sure they’ll have a lot to say to each other

Ok with Terence, I don’t like him that much - I’m sorry but him being an absent drunk doesn’t sit well with me. I know he lost his wife but Finn and Gwen lost their mom and they deserve to have a dad that’s involved in their life. I know Terence wants finn to toughen up and his whole tough love act is a way of trying to protect Finn but still, there are other ways to be there for Finn. The beating he gave Finn still makes my heart ache ……..

I’m lowkey wanting Al to pummel Terence and proclaim his place as Finn’s new caretaker and father figure but that’s just me hahahha —- I do wonder how they’ll interact though ? Like Terence would be confronting and angry probably but Al might either be calm or he might be kind of manipulative and conniving because he does have a darker side ….

Gwen and Robin and max ? Oooh I can’t wait to see their reactions !

I think Gwen was already suspicious of al because she saw the way he kept looking at our precious finney in the first chapter. Hearing that al and finn are together will def make her upset and she’ll probably won’t cover for him if she finds out …… will she try to talk finn out of it ?

As for Robin, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Him protecting Finn in chap 10 made me scream and wanna give him the best present reward ever !!

How will the protective best friend react when he meets the possessive boyfriend ?

Robin will not be happy to hear that amber is actually Al Hahha but he might be accepting eventually given that he knows Finn is his best friend and that bisexual people do exist/Finn could be queer ? Imagine Robin swinging on Al once he catches him in the act ahhaha id pay to see that happen

Max is such a loveable goofball and I think he cares very much for his brother but I’m kind of thinking that he’d show a firm position against Al and Finn and kind of think his brother was taking advantage of an impressionable young boy with no father figure. He might butt heads with Al too and that’s gonna be so interesting!!!

Anyway, you’re the best author ever and you’ve made my life so much better and more fun with your writing ! I’ll never stop being a fan and if anyone ever insults you, tell me Their address so I can find and destroy them !!!

i am so sorry for how late this response is, but please know that i am so incredibly grateful for this comment/ask!! thank you so much for your sweet words, they mean more to me than you’ll ever know! ♥︎ and believe me when i say i’m right with you on that ship!! al and finney are the superior pairing!! x

omg i’m so glad to hear you enjoyed the kiss scene!! i certainly felt the pressure writing it haha, i wanted everything to be perfect and the buildup to have been worth it!

a lot of other readers have been asking for a chapter/segment written from al’s p.o.v., too, and i think it’s an absolutely brilliant idea! i’ve already formulated quite a few segments from his p.o.v. and i think it’ll be really interesting to see the nature of his feelings toward finney; especially since he is such a morally ambiguous character. and that “clean towel” move he pulled lordddd... as nice as he is and as much as he loves his boy, he can be so creepy lmao. but we all love him for it.

i knowwww, but as tempted as i am to delve straight into the smutty goodness, i have to ensure i maintain proper characterisation and an element of realism. 😩 al is absolutely feral for finney, but he has to try his hardest to suppress it so as not to overwhelm the boy or accidentally scare him off. he’s finney’s first in all matters romantic, so he’ll really take the time to teach finney how to feel good and make him feel good at a pace the boy is comfortable with.

you’re absolutely right, vance and terrence are their biggest obstacles right now. they’re both so temperamental, too, so finney and al will have to be really careful about the way they go about navigating their way out of such a tricky situation. i’ll say this on the matter, though—we definitely haven’t seen the last of vance. i can say that with indisputable certainty. and he will interact with al in a chapter or two if everything goes to plan, so their strained relationship will be sorely emphasised. they hate each other’s guts, just like you said. but i have to agree with you, it just makes their interactions/scenes together so much more interesting and tense. who doesn’t love a bit of drama haha?

terrence is a very complex and layered character, much like the others. we know what he’s doing is wrong, he knows what he’s doing is wrong, and yet he can’t seem to escape this constant loop of trying to love and protect his children but ending up abusing them instead. it’s the cycle of abuse. he means well (most of the time), but i’m with you on this one. it’s absolutely no excuse to behave the way he does, or to treat his children the way he does. by trying to protect finney and forcing him to suppress certain elements of his sexuality, he’s inadvertently driven him straight into the arms of a man older than him.

oh, don’t you worry. al hasn’t forgotten about the beating his boy had to endure...

i think the way he’ll go about resolving the issue with terrence will be the biggest headfuck. i’ve seen a lot of people theorise and try to guess what he’ll do or how he’ll handle it (which i absolutely love; i will never shut up about how much i frickin’ love getting comments/asks theorising what’s gonna happen next or how al will deal with terrence) but the way he actually does deal with it is so much more... i don’t wanna necessarily say ‘twisted’, but i will say weird. then again, al’s a weird guy, so it’s to be expected. in regards to the darker elements of his character, once again, you’re right on the money. he will absolutely utilise manipulation as a tactic to combat vance and terrence...

yep! gwen has already clocked the weirdo magician who kept staring at her brother at susie’s party, so she won’t be so easily assuaged. being a very intense and combative character, she won’t be too happy and her reaction has the potential to be quite intense, which is absolutely fair. she loves her brother beyond reason, beyond words, and would do absolutely anything to protect him.

robinnnnn!!! 😩🙏🏻♥︎♥︎♥︎ that boy has my whole heart, he’s so sweet! he’s so protective of finney it makes me sob, i love them so much.

there’s really no way of telling how he’ll find out about finney and al, nor how he’ll react. much like gwen, though, he’s a very intense character, so his reaction is bound to be ruthless. yikes. there’s a 99.99% chance he’ll start swinging at al, no questions asked hahahaha. he isn’t aware of finney’s sexual orientation as of yet, no. he might have slight suspicions, but it’s not something they’ve discussed in terrible depth. finney is so deep in the closet he might as well have stumbled into narnia lmao.

yesssssss omg max is such a loveable goofball, i wanna put him in my pocket. he has a complicated relationship with al due to their childhood (which i’ll delve into a little more in future chapters) but ultimately, they love and care about each other very much. that’s why it’s so hard for him to come to terms with the fact that his brother might be engaging in inappropriate behaviour and an entirely illegal/immoral relationship with a 16/17-year-old boy. he’s very conflicted about it. it is, most understandably, a great source of discomfort for him.

this is so sweet, oh my goodness, thank you so much!! i’m very honoured to have earned such high praise! you’ve made my entire year, i’m so grateful for you! thank you for taking the time to read rust & stardust and leaving such a beautiful comment/ask! sending much love!! xx ♥︎♥︎♥︎

[fluffybutt-7]

Hi Fluff,

Looking super cute and cuddly 😊

I have a question for you. I'm a lifelong skinny guy (I used to weigh 130 lbs at 5'11") who finally made his way up to 220 lbs. And I had absolutely no intentions of stopping before 300 lbs. I was happier with my body than I'd ever been.

Unfortunately I got really bad reflux/GERD which still plagues me every morning, to the point that I have no appetite for half of the day and even throw up a little almost every day.

I tried some medication (pantoprazole) which works great, but it's not something I want to take forever because it's not without risks or side effects either.

Now I'm wondering where I should draw the line. Throughout the day I keep flip flopping (gain, lose, gain, lose) depending on my stomach, and it's frustrating. So now I've been hovering around 200 lbs for a while.

You've posted about medical issues before so I wanted to know your thoughts and reflections on topics like these.

Thank you so much ❤️

Hey there!! Thank you so much 🥰🙈 Been feeling nice and fluffy lately:3

So, I will preface this with I am not a medical professional at all, and to definitely talk with your doctor about different treatment options that would allow you to get back to eating the things you like. :) Now then, let’s begin…

Honestly, that line depends on each person. And it can change with the same person over time! Gaining and feederism are lifestyle fetishes that unfortunately come with some inherent risks that we all have to wrestle with at times. You are not alone, and whatever you feel about those risks is valid. Period. I’m currently taking pantoprazole, actually, and am going to try getting off of it because yes, it can really fuck up your body long term. Which my doctors didn’t tell me and have been having me take it since fucking September, but anyhoo. 🙃🥲

But I’m right there with you - being in this blubbery, overfed body has made me happier than anything else. I’m so much happier and feel more “at home” in this body compared to when I was 145lbs. We deserve to do the things that bring us joy and fulfillment, and medicine can help us achieve those things. To me, it’s worth it. I see my insulin and my blood pressure medication as tools to help me live the lifestyle I want. Would everyone feel that way? No. And that’s okay! Each of us are on our own journey in life and gaining, and we get to decide what that journey looks like. Not rando feeders telling us what to eat, not our followers (love you guys tho), us. We get to decide. It’s not something to decide lightly, and I can tell you’ve already put a lot of thought into it. But ultimately, where you draw that line is up to you. Talk to your doctor about different treatment options for reflux and GERD (I know I’m going to have to have that conversation with mine, too), and most importantly, listen to your body. You do not have to gain 24/7 to be a “real gainer”. You wanna get fatter? That brings you joy and gratification? Then you’re a gainer, period. It’s inside us - and it doesn’t go away overnight.

I hope my rambling was able to provide some food for thought and some resolve, and know that no matter what you decide to do, you’ve made amazing progress and you’ll always be a gainer in my eyes.

Take care, reach out when/if you need to, and I hope you’re having a fabulous holiday season. ❤️

[thatlovinfeelin]

Nicole's 1K Blurb Celebration!!!

To celebrate 1K I've decided to host a blurb night/weekend starting Friday night (the 21st) and running until Sunday (23rd)!!! To participate send in a prompt from the list below (Copied from a previous reblog don't hate me pls) and you want the blurb to be about and enjoy the party! You can also send in for the OC's I've created too, if you want to see more into their relationships.

I also want to take a second to thank each and every one of you for joining in my chaotic blog. I'm so thankful for each and every one of you and I never really know how to express my love for you all. SO MWAAAH KISSES FOR YOU ALL.

• fluff

“you look better in my clothes than i do.”

“i believe you.”

“is that my shirt?”

“can i play with your hair?”

“you can tell me anything.”

“isn’t the view beautiful?”

“my mother adores you.”

“they’re not you.”

“if you cry, i’ll cry ─ and that won’t be fun for anyone.”

“did you just kiss me?”

“i’ve dreamt about this.”

“is that a drawing of me?”

“i didn’t mean to say that but yeah, i love you.”

“of course i will.”

“wow, you’re photogenic.”

“i thought you'd never ask.”

“quick, kiss me!”

“you cancelled plans for me?”

“i’ve never seen anyone look so cute and ridiculous at the same time.”

“that is not what the instructions say.”

“you remembered?”

“stop looking at me like that!”

“has anyone told you that your eyes sparkle in the moonlight?”

“how mad would you be if i kissed you?”

“you’re hugging me too tight!”

“my lipgloss is all over your lips.”

“that’s the first time i’ve ever seen you smile.”

“you’re lucky you’re hot.”

“i didn’t know you could sing.”

“you weren’t supposed to hear that!”

“shut up before i kiss you.”

“you give me butterflies.”

“i can’t think around you.”

“i just wanted to make you laugh.”

“kiss me better.”

“why’d you stop?”

“you wrote me a song?”

“i’m not scared but if you are, you can hold my hand.”

“you ramble and it’s adorable.”

“are you blushing?”

“did i say that out loud?”

“hey, only i can call them that!”

“have you ever thought about how much worse our lives would be without each other?”

“i meant it when i said for better or for worse.”

“that’s the sixth time you’ve complimented me today.”

“nothing else matters except for you.”

“we could run away.”

“the world could be on fire and i’d still be happy as long as i'm with you.”

“they’re such an idiot. my idiot but still.”

“this isn’t adrenaline, i want to spend my life with you.”

• angst

“do you love them?”

“you’re not sorry.”

“how did you find out?”

“don’t lie to me.”

“am i not important to you anymore?”

“i didn’t realise i was such an inconvenience.”

“do you think about them when you look at me?”

“how many times am i supposed to forgive you?”

“don’t raise your fucking voice at me.”

“i trusted you.”

“are you ashamed of me?”

“it was open and i read it.”

“i can’t deal with you right now.”

“did you ever really love me?”

“i see the way you look at them.”

“if you can’t live without me, then die.”

“i don’t believe you.”

“all you had to do was stay.”

“i knew you were too good to be true.”

“i don't need help and i don’t need you either.”

“some things aren’t meant to be.”

“all my friends told me you’d break my heart.”

“we can’t afford to do this anymore.”

“you deserve better.”

“it’s not safe.”

“i wish i’d never met you.”

“i can’t look at you.”

“get out.”

“was it worth it?”

“how could you let them say that about me?”

“there’s just no pleasing you, is there?”

“why don’t you give a shit?”

“how many times are you going to look me in the eye and lie to me?”

“i can’t do this if you don't trust me.”

“find someone else then.”

“don’t touch me!”

“they were there. you weren’t.”

“i don’t want to spend another second with you!”

“is your image really more important than us?”

“you win.”

“this isn’t what i wanted to happen.”

“i’d take our relationship back in a heartbeat.”

“you two deserve each other.”

“can’t you listen for one second?”

“you’ll be happier without me.”

“if you loved me, you wouldn’t have done it.”

“don’t you try to explain yourself!”

“you can’t take back what you said.”

“i don’t see the same person i loved when i look at you anymore.”

“why didn’t you fight for us?”

[aajjks]

hey, I saw your post about you wondering how to not be insecure. I can’t really remember the specifics because when I looked back it wasn’t there anymore but I’m here to tell you that, you Alina, have a beautiful soul. you’re amazing, you’re a sweetheart, and the best way to beat insecurity is to believe that you are beautiful. I too have struggled with insecurities, I didn’t feel beautiful, I bought things that didn’t reflect my beauty and it was hard for me to come to terms with my worth but eventually I just didn’t give a fuck anymore, and I started to come to terms with who I am. I started accepting myself and believing in myself. the moment I did that I didn’t feel as insecure anymore. I say this to you because you have to believe that you are these great things because it’s different when someone’s telling you that but if you don’t believe it then it’ll be white noise. but once you believe that and realize you are THAT BITCH, you’ll be a lot happier and you’ll feel lighter and the things people say to you won’t bother you as much. insecurities will feel like ants because you’re so secure with yourself and you’re not afraid to be yourself ❤️❤️ hopefully this lifts your spirits a little. believe me, alina. you’re a great person and you have to believe that. much loveee xoxoxo #BIGBLUEISHERETOSUPPORTYOU

and you don’t have to answer the ask either. that was for you and you ONLY ❤️❤️ i tried to pm you that but i forgot you don’t have them open, haha. but yeah. hopefully i cheered you up a little. i meant every word i said 😊 BUT YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT, ALINA. you gotta believe in yourself and give insecurities, self doubt, and all that bad shit the middle finger 🖕🏾

I was planning to keep this to myself because this is such a precious message and I think I’m going to need to read this over and over again whenever I feel insecure but then I felt like there are a lot of people who are struggling just like me so I thought, maybe if I answered this publicly, they could see it and feel good about themselves and know that it’s OK to feel like that, and remembering to take it slow, letting your emotions and feelings flow, because we will all get better, and we will all love ourselves, one day.

And you are so so sweet I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS MESSAGE. I’M DEFINITELY GOING TO CHERISH THIS FOREVER.

[tuwam]

hehehe

@urianius

daniel doesn’t say anything. kihyun is often a ball of chaos so he doesn’t need to. in all the time they’ve lived together daniel can pick up on cues, on motions and definitely on the sound of scrambled steps and slammed doors. put kihyun and ahyeon together, and ahyeon’s typically collected state also becomes chaos. he’d barely had a word spoken to him since he’d walked in because they were flying across the apartment they all shared.

‘i’m gonna kil you.’ ‘if you kill me you won’t make it on time.’ ‘i’m gonna kill you because i won’t make it on time.’ ‘newsflash no one cares about attendance.’ ‘let’s see if your mother feels the same way.’

daniel’s sigh puts a noticeable ripple on the surface of his coffee. he’d arrived early enough from tour to set his things down and make coffee but not quite to introduce himself. he knew ahyeon would be up and about, but he didn’t expect the chaos to unfold as they awoke and ran out their rooms. then again, what really should he expect from the two of them anymore. she hasn’t quite noticed him yet, and he’s too amused to be hurt about it. he hasn’t been gone too long, but khiyun’s grown out his hair, and his suit’s are starting to fit better. and ahyeon, well, she doesn’t have to do much to take his breath away anyway.

“babe, your work bag and everything is on the counter, it was still on the coffee table. kihyun, your briefcase is by the shoe rack, you keep throwing it there when you get home.”

both culprits stop in their tracks, seconds from the other’s throat, and that’s when ahyeon graces him with a smile.

‘you’re home.’ “i’m home.”

she doesn’t however, get to him first because kihyun is launching himself at daniel’s frame. these days daniel swears he’s getting taller - or something, then he realizes midway into kihyun throwing arms around him:

“you’re wearing my boots - to work?” daniel knows kihyun’s mom has been more than thrilled that he’s taken over the curating at one of their bigger galleries in seoul, but kihyun’s still kihyun at the end of the day. that had been the trade off. so he goes with questionable fashion and fashionably late as his directing style.  ‘thanks for leaving them for me to borrow.’ even as they’ve grown kihyun is still as unashamed as ever. and daniel isn’t phased by it, instead he’s pulling the younger from his body so he can give the hug and kiss to the person he’d be waiting to. ahyeon falls into his arms with an audible sigh, and he can feel the smile against his t-shirt when his kisses fall to the top of her head. she’d just finished showering and clearly was in too much of a rush to fully dry her hair. nevertheless.

“stop wearing my cologne.” ‘as if---’ “not you, the one trying to sneak out with my coffee.” ‘not enough sugar and cream but thanks anyway, you’re the best!’ kihyun is out before daniel can grab him by the suit jacket. ahyeon’s giggle follows the sound of steps tumbling down the stairs of their flat.

‘hard to tell who’s happier you’re home.’ “your mug and lunchbox is already done.”

ahyeon’s eyes light up, though she often tries not to show how daniel’s home habits have translated into their relationship he can still catch a glimpse of the butterflies he knows are tickling inside her. it’s worth moments like this. and having kihyun around is also a way to see her light up and animate in ways she might not be so inclined if it were the two of them. but now it is and daniel’s been gone for quite a few months touring with a newer band and doing festivals. he’s home for a bit and really, truly:

‘don’t you take a step closer, you’re going to make me late.’ “aren’t you already late though? what no kiss or anything?’ ‘if you make me late you’ll be kissing your grave.’

she’s always so much fun like this. that’s why daniel hasn’t stopped moving closer, hasn’t stopped from resting his hands on her waist and lifting her right beside the lunchbox he’d prepared for her leave. 

“yeah? i can still get a few more in before i die.” their noses are inches apart, she smells fresh from her shampoo, and the blush across her nose is starting to become more noticeable. daniel’s smile is immediate, and wide, enough that he’s sure if he were closer his cheeks would brush hers. but he holds himself steady, hands now resting on the counter instead of her.

‘you two better not be doing anything in there!’ the front door bursts back open and daniel sees the two options fly past her face. one, tuck her face in his shirt all embarrassed and cute like - or and thank god for his reflexes. her eyes land on her mug full of steaming hot tea and he grabs it before she can hurl it at their flatmate. 'gasp, daniel you never lift me on the counter like that!’

"sleep with one eye open kihyun.” ‘i’ll leave my door cracked tonight!’

ahyeon’s groan echoes through the entire room. daniel laughs and moves back to allow her to slide down and grab her mug. 

“i’ll drive you to work how’s that?” ‘on your motorcycle?’ “no, i brought the company car - hanna - has the motorcycle...” ‘your sister has the ----’ “she told me some boy was offering to pick her up for dates on one - so i taught her to ride it a while back, and lent her mine.” ‘you lent your sister the motorcycle!’ “we’re going to be late babe!” ‘you lent her the motorcycle and not me?!’ kihyun’s voice comes ricocheting from the batroom. “keep talking and i won’t drop you off either kihyun.”

like clockwork, daniel’s the last to leave, his cup of coffee now lukewarm and grabbing the very briefcase and lunchbox he knows his flatmates will leave since they’re at each other’s throats again. it’s really a good thing he knows them so well and brought the company car instead. it’s a bit of a hassle but - this is the morning he’s been missing. 

[bookloveravenue]

Zodiac Academy (book 8): Sorrow and Starlight by Caroline Peckham & Susanne Valenti

All stars must fall.

Bloody, lost, broken. We live to fight another day. But with so much stolen from us, can the fates ever twist in our favour again? My sister and I have been torn apart by shadows and despair, and now we each stand alone.

Our sorrow is spun like a web, trapping us tight, and I fear our enemies will soon come to feast upon our souls. But if I have my way, the merciless sky will have dealt us its final fortune. It’s time for us to take back the power that’s been ripped from our grasp and turn the tide of this war.

All stars must fall, and all Phoenixes must rise.

Long live the Savage Queens.

*This will now be book 8 of 9 in the series*

***This is a dark, bully romance – don’t go expecting a sweet school for magic with friends around every corner. Fae fight for everything they own and Zodiac Academy is a cutthroat school for students aged 18+ where only the strongest prevail. There’s no Dumbledore here to save anyone’s ass and Lionel Acrux will give Voldemort a run for his money in the evil dictator category. So hold onto your stardust (broomsticks not required) and get ready for a bumpy ride***

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59808792-sorrow-and-starlight

******** 

December 11, 2022

My Review: 5/5 Stars

Oh. My. Stars. I have never been happier to have won an ARC of this book. Getting that few days head start before it came out and to avoid spoilers was just what I needed. Cause let me tell you, there is no part of this book that you want spoiled. This book was EVERYTHING. I'm going to avoid spoilers cause again, you don't want that in this story. But what a freaking wild ride. At the beginning of this story, we pick up where that heartbreaking end of the previous book left us. Our characters are grieving and trying to pick themselves back up to continue on with this war. But it is not even close to easy. Not for any of them. So much happens in this book, it's insane. You'll laugh and cry and feel every emotion in between. To me, it was all worth it to get to that ending, despite the small natural cliffhanger that will lead us to (hopefully for real this time) our final story. So a spoiler-free bit about what this book covers? Well, you better have read the previous books cause that I won't not spoil. Tory is devastated but picking up the pieces of losing Darius and having lost track of where Darcy has gone. But she has one goal in mind, to keep the promise to curse the stars for what they have done to her and Darius. She will do what she has to do. And all I gotta say is go Tory! Darcy is struggling with the curse of the Shadow Beast and finds herself with Orion. The two will go through some hell but at least in some areas, the stars seem to be on their side. The Heirs are devastated about losing Darius but are working with Tory and Geraldine and the rebels to end Lionel and find Darcy and Orion. We also get some surprising and new points of view. Some crazy truths and revelations. This book keeps you on your toes the whole time. Such an amazing story and I cannot wait to get our last book!