#and learning more about why the adult versions are the way they are

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Platonic Yandere Sea Monster

The ocean is a dangerous entity 

Known for her high waves, immeasurable depths, and eternal mysteries

She entices millions into her cold embrace every day

Many of whom are devoured by said mysteries leaving no trace

One of its greatest mysteries is a creature who’s been roaming beneath the surface of the earth for eons

So it truly is a special occasion that Maelstrom breaks this streak for a feast on a private yacht 

It’s far too easy how this new (to him) bipedal species gawks and helplessly flails while he sucks the bones out of their soft skin

He doesn’t care for the soft innards that the skin holds 

He does like how their screams gurgle and warble as he delights in their crunchy bones

So he makes it his mission to devour or turn into water 

And he’s sure that he’s done so with all of the little crunchy snack bags on the ship

Until he’s led into a cramped little closet with a tiny version of the springy boxes he’d found before

On it was a wailing babe—you

Now that he’s recognized 

Because for all the different species evolution has brought it a crying infant was a common denominator

And you were crying hard

Whether you were the sibling or offspring of some ill-thinking teen or an overworked employee of the crew the one who was going to care for you was gone

And Maelstorm knew that

On the account that he’s certain he’d still be hearing your incessant crying on the entirely silent yacht, he molds his water-like body into something more like the ‘human skin bags’ 

Letting his face bulge and bubble with the vague memory of his meal’s screaming faces until you stop crying

“There…there…my pearl.”

It’s been so long since he’s been awake to have a pet 

Surely it won’t be too hard

…right?

“Aaaaghh!”

“You’re not hungry, you’re not sleepy, you’ve already gone to the bathroom! WHAT IS IT!?”

He’s never been so stressed out 

Stressed out trying to stop your little face from contorting anymore as you empty your little lungs and exhaust your little vocal cords

He eventually decides he does need help and uses one of the less rotted bodies to go on land and learn among these skin bags so that he knows what to do

“Oh poor sir looks like they’re just hungry for some warm hugs.”

“Is that…really all?”

“Why of course! Babies really hinge on your emotions and attention.”

After he takes in the ‘nurse’s’ wisdom he begins to feel something new 

Something full of jealousy that has him snatching your swaddled form before giving a light pat that turns her into a puddle on the floor

Maelstorm easily finds another skin-bag with a nice face to take the body of 

Leaving with a skip in his step while the ‘skin-bags’ authorities baffled over the only remnant of a missing ‘nurse’

“I see now to avoid this awful feeling I must make sure all my affection is being given to my pearl.”

From there you can be sure that you’re entire life will be filled with Maelstorm learning about the negative emotions he can get as you grow

True there will be many positive feelings 

But he learns that to protect those precious new feelings 

Barricading you on abandoned ships and attacking all the skin-bags that come to keep it that way

And even when you grow into the adults he’d previously snacked on

He won’t completely leave humans alone

He pulls back on this snacking habit only because he sees more of you in them

But he’s not going to stop eating them 

Especially when he finds your attention drifting from him as you crave more socialization 

“As far as I’m concerned all we need is each other. Now do I have to eat this entire village or will you go back to our boat?”

[literatureloverx]

Mdni, ideal type! fem!reader x Dazai Osamu, VERY LONG AND DETAILED, platonic relationships such as: Odasaku, Atsushi, Kunikida, Chuuya and Sigma are briefly mentioned, Yandere behaviour, unhealthy behaviour, psychological disorders and suicide/double suicide mentioned.

DAZAI’S MASTERLIST => HERE

I enjoyed writing for Dazai very much, he has a big place in my heart.🩵 I received a request regarding PM!Dazai’s ideal type as well, I’ll post it in a few days.🩵

Dazai’s ideal type

Dazai is a complex and enigmatic figure, who can be described as a romantic—though not in the conventional sense of actively seeking love and connection.

Instead, he romanticizes the idea of meaningful connections. What does this mean?

Dazai is known to suffer from depression and harbors a deep desire to end his life.

However, he doesn’t wish to do so alone. He fantasizes about dying with a “beautiful woman” in a double suicide, which is inherently romantic.

This desire echoes tragic love stories like Romeo and Juliet or Cleopatra and Mark Antony, where love and death are intertwined.

This suggests that Dazai may deeply fantasize about love and being loved—perhaps even yearning for someone who loves him so much that she would sacrifice her life for him.

But why would someone wish for a double suicide in the first place?

Dazai sees no purpose in life, a perspective not commonly shared by others.

This makes it likely that his ideal partner would be someone who not only values life but is also grateful for what she has—because Dazai is only truly comfortable when he is surrounded by such people as Atsushi, Kunikida, Chuuya (debatable), and even Sigma.

He needs to learn this perspective to find his own meaning in life.

She would possess a sweet, positive spirit but would still be able to fully grasp Dazai’s bleak outlook, his feelings, and his philosophy—or the lack thereof.

Dazai might be drawn to a partner who is calm, patient, and nurturing.

Given his often childish behavior, it’s possible that he never had the chance to experience love in a normal, healthy way during his childhood.

We know little about his upbringing, but it’s clear he lacks any emotional connection or attachment to his parents.

Dazai is deeply wounded, depressed, and feels empty—though the reasons remain unclear.

The only person Dazai has truly loved, and who loved him in return, seems to be Odasaku.

So what makes Odasaku so special? What traits does he possess that Dazai might seek in a partner?

Odasaku was always calm and patient with him, seeing through Dazai’s lifeless eyes and empty heart.

He recognized Dazai's pain, suggesting that “someone needs to rip that pain out of this child’s chest.”

What if Dazai's ideal partner is someone who embodies these comforting and meaningful qualities, loving him unconditionally?

I believe this to be the ultimate solution to many aspects that trouble Dazai.

Teenage Dazai, in particular, strikes me as more of a “puppy” than the “cat” he becomes as an adult—craving affection and warmth.

He needed someone who cared for him, and that someone was Odasaku. His partner should be able to do the same.

Dazai might love a calm partner who can handle his antics but also sees through them without violating his comfort zone or coping mechanisms.

She would understand his inner darkness but wouldn’t fear it—instead, she would embrace it with a loving demeanor.

She would be confident, but in a strangely shy and quiet way.

She would be someone who is at peace with herself, someone who is inspirational to others.

She would accept him as he is and believe in him, helping him to become the best version of himself.

This is why Dazai is so fond of Atsushi.

Atsushi is empathetic, having suffered himself, and he embraces Dazai with unconditional love.

If Dazai were to meet a woman who could offer the same understanding and compassion, it’s hard to see why he wouldn’t be saved.

Dazai feels responsible for Atsushi, and it gives his life a certain meaning he doesn’t truly grasp yet.

If he felt the same responsibility for someone much closer to his heart—his lover—it would have a profoundly positive effect on him.

Regarding physical traits, Dazai doesn’t seem overly concerned with them.

However, he has expressed a preference for “beautiful” women, as seen in his desire to commit double suicide with one.

While physical beauty might not be his top priority, he likely appreciates aesthetically pleasing women.

Dazai claims to like all women, but I can imagine him being drawn to a feminine, quiet, and insightful young woman.

This woman would possess an innate ability to sense others’ emotions and motivations, her sensitive and calm nature allowing her to do so effortlessly.

She would be observant, with her beauty often leading others, including Dazai, to underestimate her at first.

And yet, it would be as if she could read his mind and heart—something deeply uncomfortable for someone as guarded and inflexible with his own vulnerability as Dazai.

Interestingly, some of these traits might also make her an ideal partner for Fyodor.

However, while Dazai and Fyodor are alike in some aspects, they differ in others.

Fyodor’s ideal type might align with Dazai’s, but with less submissiveness and more approachability.

Does it ring? The drama that might approach?

Let me summarize: In terms of personality, Dazai has a soft spot for empathetic and loving people.

Therefore, he would undoubtedly adore a darling who is very empathetic, sensitive, and kind.

I don’t see him having a specific preference for body type—short, tall, curvy, or skinny; it doesn’t matter to him.

He will always find a way to appreciate your body in every sense, as this is simply part of who Dazai is. You shouldn’t be surprised by that.

I can see Dazai taking a liking to long hair (similar to Fyodor), as it emphasizes femininity.

He might particularly favor wavy or curly hair because it gives a more approachable, sweet, and innocent appearance compared to straight or short hair.

This style implies youth and an ethereal quality, which aligns perfectly with Dazai’s romanticism.

Skin color, as well as hair and eye color, wouldn’t matter to him at all.

In his mind, he would view you, his love, as aesthetically ethereal and one of a kind.

Your features would be etched into the canvas of his mind's eye, surrounded by fitting backgrounds and colors.

With you, he would find solace, love, and acceptance, as well as the meaning in life he has been desperately searching for.

You don’t need to match his intellect or mastermind abilities; he cherishes those around him who don’t possess these qualities, and he doesn’t look down on them.

What he needs is someone empathetic enough (like Oda [ in his case platonically]) to love him unconditionally and sincerely, without judging him—someone who would guide him to the light without expecting anything unnatural or selfish in return.

However, his darling would need to be mentally strong and willing to share his burdens.

This is difficult to do and would only work with true, pure love, which is why Dazai needs someone who loves him unconditionally.

I don’t see Dazai manipulating his darling because he doesn’t manipulate or control the people he cherishes. Instead, he trusts them.

This would be the case with his darling as well. He would trust her, and this trust would be a choice that greatly benefits his well-being.

You would need to bring brightness to his life—love, warmth, connection, and compassion—balancing out his dark inner world.

He would be astonished when he realizes how deeply you love him without being manipulated, how pure your feelings are, and how you seem to see his soul and accept him as he is (much like Fyodor).

Your dedication to helping him improve, because you see the light and potential in him, would touch him deeply.

To you, he is human, and you wish to help him see that too. He loves you for it, so, so much.

Once Dazai recognizes this, he would never, ever let you go.

He might fear losing you or worry that you deserve better, but he would be too selfish to let you be with anyone else.

This would make him fiercely protective of you, even as he tries to maintain his enigmatic self, playing it off with his usual clinginess.

But of course, you would see right through this and reassure him that you’ll always be there for him, protecting him from anyone and anything else, even from himself.

In return, he would protect you, love you, and obsess over you—affectionately.🩵

TO MY OTHER WORKS => HERE

[drdemonprince]

I was never really certain about my transition in the way that most gatekeeping hormone prescribers and curious members of the public demand that a trans person be. I didn’t “always know” that I was not cisgender. I haven’t “always known” anything about myself. Very few truths about me have always remained true, my existence is too interpersonal, contextual, and ever-evolving for all of that. (So is most everyone else’s, I think). I don’t think that the fact I’d eventually choose to exercise my body autonomy at age 30 by taking hormones is a decision I could have foreseen when I was a child. All that I knew about being transgender when I was a kid was a fact that most children intuitively know: gender assignment was a violation of my freedom, of everyone’s freedom in fact, and it was wrong. As an infant and then a child and teenager, people kept imposing labels on me; they kept forcing me and my body into prescribed gendered boxes, and while the specific labels and boxes never really felt like the right ones, the most disturbing part about it all was the forcing. No coerced identity would have ever felt right. Children can tell when secrets are being kept from them, and when adults are restricting their choices. They notice that they and the other children are being lined up boy-girl, boy-girl, without ever being told what a girl or a boy even is. They can see their parents frowning when they reach for the doll with the shimmery hair, or climb atop the neighbor kid on the playground. Kids know that they are forbidden from sitting with their legs spread wide or flicking their wrist, and their gender illegibility is shamed in them, long before they get any answers about what gender means or where it comes from or why it’s so important that they make themselves easy to understand.

Like the cloned children in Never Let Me Go who grow up being conditioned for a life of forced organ donation, children in a cissexist society grow up conditioned to fall within certain gendered boundary lines, and by the time they learn that the reason for this is almost completely arbitrary, they can’t imagine any alternative. Not until some of them hear about gender transition and find the prospect very compelling, for some reason. You can say that reason is because some of us are inherently trans, but there’s absolutely nothing in the way of brain science, genetics research, or even sociological data to back that up. Besides, the search for a biological “reason” that people are transgender or queer runs counter to the goal of queer liberation in the long run. Science only needs to explain the existence of transgender people (or queer people more broadly) if our existence is in some way aberrant or a problem. If queerness is accepted as a form of human diversity that simply exists, then there is no need to excuse it by claiming that it is never a choice. It can be a choice, if a person wants to make it, and hopefully it satisfies them, but maybe it won’t. Freedom to choose means freedom to forever be dissatisfied, to search endlessly for more, and yes, to capable of making a mistake. I would say that viewing myself as transgender was a choice. I decided to break away from the straight, female categories to which I had been assigned, and doing so allowed me to view the legal and societal power structures that had restricted me more clearly. It helped me better understand myself. But that does not mean the actual act of breaking away was always the truest reflection of who I am. The version of me that transitioned was a person on the run — and how a person behaves, thinks, and self-conceives when they are fleeing is not a great reflection of whom they might be if they were safe. If we all lived in a world free from mandatory gender assignment, and where our bodies were not mined for meaning about the kinds of sex we liked, the clothing we should wear, the personality qualities we have, the roles we should play in society, and the connections we are allowed to form with others, who knows who each of us might be. But none of us get to live in that world, or ever gets completely free from the frameworks of heterosexuality and the gender binary. These frameworks shape every legal institution we encounter, every school we attend, every item of clothing we put on, every substance we take into our bodies, every piece of paperwork that ever gets printed about us, and every look another person ever gives us. And so we make due with rewriting and recombining those frameworks as best we can. It should come as no surprise that those us who break away from the binary have to experiment and revise how we understand ourselves quite a bit — sometimes getting things “wrong,” sometimes searching forever for the semblance of something “right.” Sometimes reveling in the “wrongness” of all the available options is kind of the point.

I wrote about my detransition, retransition, and the eternal dissatisfaction that is probably the corest truth of my identity. It's free to read or have narrated to you on my Substack.

[rockpaperimpala]

So about Netflix's the Last Airbender....

I am literally so confused you guys. You made me think I would HATE this show. And I LOVED it. Me. Known perfectionist and hater.

Katara was lovely. Yes, she started as a more soft spoken character than her cartoon version, but she was still passionate and hopeful throughout, just visibly unsure of herself. I think people were thrown off by this actress' natural way of expressing herself, which is Different from animated katara for sure, but not bad. Then she spends the whole season growing in Confidence and Fire. I Adored her fight with Paku, it really did feel like a payout of the whole season's development, and the bending kicked ass!

The Bending Kicked ass!!! The martial arts was fun and fast and creative and exciting! It looked SO good. That alone would be enough reason for me to watch and enjoy any show.

Zuko's actor was fantastic. He really captured the rage and confusion of this 16 year old banished prince. And there were so many Added moments between him and Iroh wich to me enriched their relationship. Like YES! This is why I'm watching, to see more of them, to see things done a little differently.

Iroh facing the consequences of his actions at Ba Sing Se!! That's what I'm here for!

Zuko's relationship with the men on his ship! That's what I'm here for!

The Extra layers we get to Ozai manipulating his children!

Also no one is talking about Admiral Zhao, who I had SO much fun with. I feel like they slightly fleshed out his character in a really dramatic way, really developing the hubris and frankly insane grasping ambition of someone who would kill the moon. I completely enjoyed this wilder, less controlled version of him, who comes up through the season from basically nothing and no one!

I am OBSESSED with King BUMI and his anger and disillusionment with the world! Like this was SO real. Living a hundred years of futile war would do that!!!! It is one of my favorite changes to the whole series. This new layer of emotion and character depth is what I'm here for!

Sokka was SO funny. He literally had me laughing out loud so often. That actor GETs Sokka, and GETS the way his humor is delivered. And is also able to tap into the more vulnerable side of him. People said he was "obsessed" with leadership. WHAT? That is a young person trying desperately to do his best and to try and find his place in the world, to figure what he has to offer. I loved his pride at hearing the Mechanist say that he would make a good engineer, and the sweetness of the moment that Yue's father says that he can be a hero without being a warrior. Sokka does so much growth in this series, in understanding himself and life.

And his chemistry with Suki was adorable!! I even like him and Yue (who was a totally unexpected sweetheart, despite her terrible wig)!! Like he has that same ability that Sokka has in the original to Connect with people.

Aang was great! He WAS fun loving and sweet and funny. I don't know what you guys wanted. Cartoons are always bigger and more exaggerated than live action. People's eyes swell up an, birds fly around their heads, and there are funny sound effects. That larger than life quality is the strength of animation! You have to look for different strength in live action. Like the SUBTLETIES of the acting choices. This little actor brought so much kindness, innocence, and strength to Aang.

And I FELT his frustration at being asked to do this at 12, his fresh hope anytime it looked like someone more experienced would be able to help him and no one did, and that's why he didn't learn waterbending this season, because he kept waiting for an freaking ADULT to show him the way, to help him carry this immense burden, but every adult he meets asks him for help instead, asks him to carry it himself, and then the finale hits and he realizes that there won't be any adults helping, he does have figure this out himself, and he makes the hard choice, takes on responsibility more than his years and offers himself to the ocean spirit, and he might have been lost entirely if not for Katara!

And that counter running theme to the show pays off: that he doesn't have to do it alone. He may not have more experienced guidance, because the adults have let him down again and again, but his friends will be with him, and they will figure it out together!

This is there throughout the series! Katara tells him this about learning waterbending, when he says he still wants to wait. Bumi tells him this in the palace at Omashu, and Aang sees the faith he has in his friends repaid!

I like these changes! And the show still found time for silly fun adventures and character building moments.

The show was never going to be the animated original. That is already a Masterpiece, and it frankly did NOT need to be adapted at all. I did not WANT a live action adaptation. I was adamantly convinced I would hate it. But the changes that they netflix show gave are what I Iike most about it. If I want to see Zuko say "you rise with the moon, I rise with the sun," I will go watch the animated original, because that version is perfect. And now, if i want to see Zuko say "Lu ten would have been proud to have you as a father," and see iroh pull him into a tight hug, I can watch this live action version, which is very good too. I'm going to disagree with most of the people on here and say that the Netflix's Avatar: The Last Airbender, DOES capture the heart of what we liked about the original show. It's spirit, fun, excitement, and characters. And the changes made are the reason we should be watching.

[mynameismckenziemae]

I Love You Two

Part 1

(next part here)

Bradley Bradshaw x OFC x Jake Seresin.

Summary:

You (Olivia ‘Liv’ Kazansky) have been chasing Bradley Bradshaw as soon as you learned to walk. He follows his dad’s footsteps and joins the Navy after high school, and you move across the country for college a few years later at 18.

10 years pass but you never forget that brown-eyed boy…maybe that’s why yet another relationship fails. The friendship with Bradley is easily rekindled when you move back home, along with the feelings you’ve tried to suppress. It seems he feels the same about you after an incredible, life-changing night together. But he’s gone the next morning, without a word or even a note, leaving you heartbroken and humiliated.

A few months later, a green-eyed aviator defends your honor from a drunk patron while you’re bartending. To show your thanks, you buy him a drink that leads to a month-long fling, and a plan to pursue more when he gets back from his deployment.

After returning from a rough deployment of his own, Bradley’s determined to find you as soon as his feet touch dry land. Undeterred when you ignore his phone calls and leave his texts on read, he heads to the Hard Deck, hoping you’re there or that Penny will take pity on him. He’s spent countless nights beating himself up for leaving you the way he did and nothing will stop him from telling you how he really feels before he begs for your forgiveness and another chance.

But he finds you in the arms of the man who’s made the last 3 months of his life a living hell.

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This is going to be a love triangle, why choose, enemies to lovers, repressed bisexuality, polyamorous angsty story. Please let me know if you have any questions and if you’d like to be added to the taglist.

Like everything else I write/post/reblog, this is not intended for anyone under the age of 18. It will contain adult language, themes, and situations. MDNI!

Warnings: Angst, adult language, smut.

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A feeling of nostalgia has your hand pausing as you reach for the picture sitting on your dresser.

The 3-year-old version of yourself is grinning up at 6-year-old Bradley who’s sticking his tongue out to make you laugh. Even back then it was obvious you thought he hung the moon.

Bradley had always been so good to you; letting you tag along with his friends to play baseball, wiping your tears in middle school when you’d gotten teased for your braces, punching your wasted boyfriend for getting too handsy after prom. He wrote to you when he joined the Navy after he graduated, and let you crash at his shitty apartment when you were in college when he was stationed in Pensacola for spring break.

You were good to him too; you helped him pick out flowers for his crush for Valentine’s Day (even though it broke your heart), gave him your shoulder to cry on at his mom’s funeral, and bought him a pink, purple and blue pride flag when he came out to you as bisexual.

The two of you drifted apart when he got into a serious relationship, and not long after you did too.

Both relationships ended, he stayed single and you tried again, but it didn’t last either. You found yourself missing home. Missing Bradley.

The two of you picked up where you had left off when you moved home, like you’d never been apart. Your dormant feelings for him came back too, more intensely than ever. You started to suspect he felt the same; his once innocent touches now held intent, and you caught the heat in his gaze when his brown eyes lingered.

The simmering tension reached the boiling point the night before he deployed. One too many drinks at the Hard Deck gave you the courage to tell him how you felt; that you were in love with him.

Cold nauseating dread crept in at his silence from your admission. But then he kissed you. And didn’t stop.

A shiver dances down your spine at the memory of that night together; the way he pulled orgasm after orgasm from you with his mouth, hands, and cock, knowing your body like a longtime lover. You’d fallen asleep with a smile on your face, wrapped in his arms as the sunlight began to creep in through your bedroom windows.

A few hours later, you woke up cold and alone.

You hurried out of bed to see if he was in the kitchen or at least left a note. But the Bronco was gone and no note in sight. No new texts or missed calls when you’d found your phone. You’d fallen to the floor with a sob, heart-shattering when you’d dialed his number and went straight to voicemail.

When he didn’t reach out and avoided the Hard Deck when he came home for leave, you’d lost all hope.

.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.

You blink back the tears threatening to spill over now as you return to the present.

Taking a deep breath, you toss the framed photo into the box containing the rest of the things he gave you or reminded you of him before shoving it under your bed.

Next, you put on a set of clean sheets, you can’t help but picture how you’re going to dirty them with Jake.

He’s due back from his own deployment any day now and you couldn’t wait to have him over for the first time. During your month-long fling, you’d preferred his apartment as the heartbreak from Bradley had been too fresh and you hadn’t been ready to welcome another man into your home yet.

Jake unintentionally snuck through the walls you constructed around your heart a few months after you’d given up on Bradley.

While bartending, a drunk patron had started to get handsy. You’d noticed Jake watching, but you had it handled; brushing it off at first and then getting stern. When the drunk cornered you in the hallway, you got scared. But Jake had stepped in with his southern drawl and escorted him (none too gently) outside. You’re not sure what Jake said, but the color drained from the drunk’s face, and hasn’t been back since.

You had a cold beer waiting on the bar for him when he came back inside, shaking your head when he pulled out his wallet. So he claimed a stool at the end of the bar instead and proceeded to chat you up all night.

Like a moth to a flame, you were drawn to him; he was so easy on the eyes, a cocky- sarcastic-yet-somehow-still-charming-asshole. And he made you laugh, really laugh for the first time since Bradley broke your heart.

After the last call, he laid you down on the pool table and knelt on the beer-sticky floor to eat you out. The wrecked groan he let out when you pulled his hair had your toes curling and sent you spiraling. He too, because when you pulled him up with an order to fuck you, he mumbled an embarrassed, “Give me 5 minutes and I will,” before kissing you and doing just that.

The following weeks were the same; frenzied, hot, unable to keep your hands off the other. But during the times the two of you had to come up for air, you started falling for him.

You’d expected the worst when he asked to see you the night before he was scheduled to deploy for 3 months. But instead of another heartache, he asked not only to continue things when he returns but to make it official.

He’s called you every chance he got; which wasn’t many but you cherished each one. He didn’t talk much about life on the carrier besides complaining about a jerk in his new squadron but never elaborated, preferring to listen to you in the limited time he was granted.

The ping of an incoming text pulls you from your thoughts.

Penny: Have I told you lately that I love you?

Liv: 😑 Who called in?

Penny: Jimmy

Liv: I’ll be there at 4

Penny: You really are the best kiddo. Thank you.

Liv: You owe me 😘

With a sigh, you finish making your bed and get in the shower.

.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.

There are a few more texts when you get out of the shower and your heart speeds up when you see it’s from Jake.

Jake: Hey sweetheart

Jake: Just found out I’ll be stateside soon

Jake: I can’t wait to see you

Liv: I can’t wait to see you either, but I’m helping Penny out tonight until 10, Jimmy called out.

Jake: Goddamn it, Jimmy.

Liv: Right? You can always visit me too.

Jake: I’ll be there. Did you hear anything about that job?

Liv: I can’t believe you remembered. I got it! Orientation starts in a few weeks.

Jake: Congratulations! I’m thinking we should celebrate?

Liv: Thank you 😘 what are you thinking?

Jake: My head between your thighs to start.

Liv: I like the way you think.

Jake: I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you soon.

Liv: Can’t wait.

Jake: Me either

You feel like you’re on cloud nine as you get ready, spending a little extra time on your hair and makeup in anticipation of seeing him.

.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.

Your phone rings on your way to the bar and the onslaught of emotions makes your stomach turn at the name on the screen.

Bradley.

You ignore the longing, hurt, anger, humiliation, and unfortunately excitement as you do the same to the call, letting it go to voicemail.

The feelings intensify when he calls again a moment later, but you refuse to do this with him.

Not now. Not ever.

Too little, too late.

He starts texting as you park around the back of the building.

Bradley: Call me when you get a chance.

Bradley: Please?

Bradley: We need to talk.

Bradley: I’m so sorry, I’ll explain everything. Bradley: Just call me back. Please, Liv. Or tell me where you are.

A smile pulls at your lips as you silence your phone before sliding it into your back pocket, leaving him on read.

.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.

To say it’s busy would be an understatement.

You hardly have time to breathe much less overthink things with Bradley for the first few hours. Eventually, he stops; that or your butt cheek has gone numb from the constant vibration through your jean shorts.

“What can I get you?” You ask, not looking up from your open till as khaki approaches the bar from the corner of your eye.

“A blow job?”

Your eyes fly to Jake’s at the sound of his voice.

“The shot of course,” he smirks.

“Of course,” you grin back, pushing the till closed before leaning across the bar to kiss him. You pull back to murmur. “Promise to keep your hands behind your back and swallow it all?”

You’re just teasing, but you don’t miss the way his pupils dilate and the slight flush your words cause. But he recovers, “Spitters are quitters.”

“Mhmm,” you hum, “and I’m no quitter.”

His eyes drop to your lips, remembering how right you are.

A throat clearing has you stepping back.

“Sorry for interrupting whatever the fuck that was,” Natasha says with a disgusted look, “You’re with Bagman, Liv?!”

“Hangman,” Jake corrects, resting his elbow on the bar.

“Whatever,” she’s still looking at you, a bit horrified, a little disgusted.

“Uh…yeah,” you reply, looking at Jake confused as you pull a couple of beers from the fridge before popping the caps off and handing them to her. “Why?”

“Your funeral,” is all she says before walking away.

“What was that all about?” You ask. “Wait-how do you guys know each other?”

“She’s-“ his response is drowned out by Penny ringing the bell, and the cheering that follows, “when’s your break?”

You look at the clock and then the decreasing crowd, “Should be okay to go now if you want to meet me round back? I’ll check with Penny.”

He nods before making his way there.

.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.

“I’ll be out back,” you tell Penny.

She nods just as Bradley struts through the door. He looks so fucking good in those tight jeans and one of Goose’s Hawaiian shirts, unbuttoned. The white undershirt is tight against the abs you traced with your tongue the last time you saw him.

He scans the place but you duck out of sight before he spots you.

Any questions you had and Bradley’s presence are forgotten when you swing open the door. Jake’s leaning against the building, twirling a toothpick with his tongue as he waits.

Your fingers pull it from his mouth and fling it away before meeting him halfway in a heated, biting kiss.

He turns, guiding your back against the wall and you both sigh when your hips meet. You can feel the heat from his erection through the layers of your clothes and when he thrusts, the seam of your shorts rubs your clit just right; you’re suddenly convinced you can’t wait until your shift is over.

“Liv?”

You sigh as he kisses a trail down your neck, not hearing your name being called.

“Liv!”

Recognition tugs as your lust-addled mind but then Jake nips your collarbone while he grinds his hips harder. If he keeps going just like that…

“Olivia!” The door slamming open against the wall beside you makes you both flinch.

“Liv?” The desperation in Bradley’s voice tugs at your heartstrings.

“What do you want Bradley?” You ask as Jake takes a step back, still close but no longer touching.

Bradley’s head whips toward you two, brow furrowing before he pulls Jake off you.

“What the hell!?” Jake pushes him once he gets his footing.

“I-what-Liv?” Bradley stutters before looking to you for an answer.

“What?” You cross your arms.

“I need to talk to you,” Bradley replies, “please.”

“Now you wanna talk?” You laugh without mirth. “Now?! After 6 months of nothing? No calls or texts or emails or letters?”

“Liv,” he winces, “I know. I fucked up, okay? I-“ he looks at Jake, “can we please talk about this privately? Or just not in front of Hangman?”

“Hangman?” You’re confused. Both he and Natasha know Jake’s callsign. “How…?” You trail off as you look between them.

“We were deployed together,” Bradley answers, “he was assigned to the Daggers.”

The thought of them being deployed together had occurred to you, but there were typically several squadrons on the carrier at a time, so it wasn’t likely that they knew each other more than in passing; much less being in the same squadron.

You look at Jake and he nods at your unasked question.

Bradley was the one he’s been complaining about.

“Anything you need to say, you can say in front of Hangman,” you sigh.

“I’d rather not,” Bradley says, his jaw clenching.

“Then fuck off,” you push off the building to head back inside but Bradley reaches for your arm.

“Bradshaw,” Jake warns, taking a step forward.

“I was scared,” Bradley says hoarsely as he releases your arm, “and I panicked. I can’t lose you, Liv. I can’t another person I care about; my parents, Mav…I’ve been beating myself since I left, trying to figure out a way to make things right, and just making things worse by not reaching out. I know. I fucked up and I’m so sorry. Let me make things right.”

“Same old Rooster,” Jake chuckles cruelly as he comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, “sitting too snug on that perch again, huh? Missed your chance. Again.”

Bradley watches him kiss your cheek and doesn’t look away as his lips start to make their way down your neck. You’re not a fan of being this affectionate in front of others but this feels…different. It almost seems like Bradley likes it too. Until he opens his mouth.

“You’re doing this to hurt me, aren’t you?” Bradley says lowly.

“Doing what to-what are you talking about?” You ask.

“This,” Bradley nods at Jake, “You found out through Uncle Ice that he’s been making my life a living hell and decided to fuck him. Just to stick it to me?”

Jake stops kissing your neck to look up at him too.

Hot tears fill your eyes and spill over before you have a chance to blink them back. Bradley’s bravado deflates as he realizes he’s so wrong; that he fucked up. Again.

“Fuck you,” you whisper before heading back inside, Jake shaking his head as he follows.

.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.•*•.•.

A/N: I…dunno what to say. I’m really excited for this and I really hope you’ll like it. What’d ya think? Is Bradley getting what he deserved or too harsh since he’s been through so much?

As always, any interaction is appreciated but I LOVE hearing what you think in the comments/reblogs! Seriously, feedback helps me more than anything.

Please let me know if you want to be added to (or removed from) my taglist…and if I forgot to add you-it wasn’t intentional, just remind me and I’ll get you added.

@writtingrose

@blindedbythelightt

@phoenix-rising-starbird-one

@dizzybee03

@shanimallina87

@cevansbaby-dove

@lexixstewart

@hookslove1592

@fandomology101

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@seitmai

[sinofwriting]

listen, please - Daniel Ricciardo

Words: 316 Summary: Daniel and his girlfriend break the news of their relationship and cause quite a splash with their age difference. (Social Media AU + Blurb) (Olivia Rodrigo as faceclaim and uses her music for reader’s)

Masterlist | Support Me! | listen, please verse

yourusername

liked by dan_nigro, etnews, landonorris, and 548,752 others tagged: danielricciardo yourusername: I learned from my mistakes and finally listened to them. And thank god they were right about you.

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danielricciardo: forever happy they were ⤷ yourusername: ♥️ user01: excuse me??? user02: Uh what? user03: I’m sorry, Daniel??? What are you doing here??? user04: When did this happen? user05: honey, no. he’s in his 30s user06: well, already counting the days for this ending user07: this is going to last all of a month user08: yourusername please, no. Taylor went through this already. Learn from her mistakes!!! user09: Am I the only one picking up on the lyrics from Vampire? We stan using our own lyrics to announce a relationship user10: can’t wait for Dear John yourusername’s version. Gonna be a bop. ⤷ user05: I will sob if she covers that or would’ve could’ve should’ve when this ends. ⤷ user11: will simply die user12: i’m an f1 girlie, but no. This ain’t it. Mick Schumacher is right there, yourusername. Or even Oscar. ⤷ user13: Lando is right there and you went for the nepo baby and a guy who already has a girlfriend ⤷ user12: he was an example! And nearly all the drivers are nepo babies in some way. ⤷ user03: so true user14: how are you going to be such a big swiftie, know the woman yourself and still date a man older than you and believe it’s going to work out?

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1, f1_wags, redbullracing, and 149,875 others tagged: yourusername danielricciardo: Over a year with this one and many more to come, Sweets

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yourusername: so many more to come ⤷ danielricciardo: 😉 maxverstappen1: never seen you happier ⤷ danielricciardo: love ya maxie! user01: first daniel isn’t racing and now he’s taken??? 2023 is the worst user02: daniel, she’s practically a child. What are you doing? user03: weirdo user04: she’s barely 20, what are you doing??? ⤷ user06: yourusername is 22. She’s not barely 20 ⤷ user04: yeah and she turned 22 like barely a month ago user05: Daniel, not like this. I beg user07: well him and pierre have something in common 😆 user08: she’s a baby!!! Get away from her!!! user09: disgusting. Absolutely disgusting user10: you guys are acting like she’s not an adult??? She’s literally in her twenties. ⤷ user04: and he’s in thirties. It’s fucking weird. user11: jail, sir. You go to jail now.

f1_wags

liked by user01, user02, user03, and 2,451 others tagged: yourusername, danielricciardo f1_wags: New WAG Alert! Daniel Ricciardo just announced his relationship with Y/N, a three time grammy winner and musician.

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yourusername

liked by dr3wines, zedd, charlesleclerc, and 462,345 others tagged: danielricciardo, dr3wines yourusername: Congrats on the new wine, Danny! Little sad that it will no longer be for just us and our baths together, but happy to see it be shared.

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danielricciardo: thank ya, sweets. danielricciardo: girl in the second picture is absolutely gorgeous danielricciardo: bath tonight? I’ve still got a few bottles ⤷ yourusername: I’ll always want a bath with you user01: why is his face on my feed user02: throwing up at their comments user03: well, this made me feel incredibly single charlesleclerc: another great wine. Thank you for convincing him to let me try it before the launch! ⤷ yourusername: of course!

user04: leave him!!!! He’s using you for free promo of his wine!!! user05: taylor must be pissed!

taylorswift

liked by yelyahwilliams, taylorlautner, yourusername and 2,873,421 others tagged: yourusername, danielricciardo taylorswift: Was a pleasant surprise to see these two when I stepped off stage tonight. Lovely to see you guys and will see you again for dinner next week!

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yourusername: not a single better performer. Watching is you magic every single time. And dinner will be fun! danielricciardo: amazing show! user01: taylor??? user02: i’m sorry what user03: my 2023 bingo card is in shambles user04: living rn. all of you fuckers were saying that taylor was disappointed and now look. She knew before we did user05: some many clowns staying silent in these comments user06: i was at this show!!! Wyd mean that yourusername was there?

daniel3.jpg

liked by landonorris, f1_wags, sourandguts, and 187,392 others tagged: yourusername daniel3.jpg: my two favorite subjects: you and us

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landonorris: do you two do anything but take baths for date night? ⤷ daniel3.jpg: we do. Just like our baths y’know user01: um, i’m sorry. But that last photo user02: lando is so real. This is the second bath photo we’ve gotten ⤷ user03: i don’t want that water bill user04: gross user05: how do you feel comfortable posting this with how young she is? ⤷ user01: you’re acting like she’s a kid. She’s in her twenties. Fuck off user06: am i supposed to just act like i don’t know now that daniel likes car sex??? ⤷ user03: i’m doing my best to not think about it user07: daniel, thank you for feeding us.

—

Daniel could feel his grin grow, eyes softening, and his shoulders loosening all at the sound of her name. It takes him a moment to register the question, but when he does his grin grows more.

“I wasn’t really expecting it, you know? But she’s just great, I mean absolutely fantastic.” “And the age difference isn’t an issue?” The reporter presses, though more gently than expected. He scoffs, shaking his head. “No, not all. We want the same things in life and we both have very similar timelines for when we want them. We talked about all of that before we even went on a date and us wanting the same things, just helped finally take the next step.”

“And has the backlash affected you two at all?” “No.” Daniel smiles at the confused look the reporter gives him, letting out a chuckle. “We knew it was going to cause a splash. We’ve never ignored the age difference between us. It’s there and ignoring it wouldn’t do anything.” He pauses, “I understand why people are so concerned, there is a history of large age gaps not being great. But there’s also a history of them working out great, I’ve got plenty of examples in my personal life. Besides, it's not really the age difference that matters, it’s where you're at in life and what you want to come next. We just happen to be in the same place and want the same things to come next.”

The reporter is looking at him stunned before they finally manage to find their voice. “Thank you, Daniel.” “Of course, cheers mate.” He winks, before throwing up a hand to wave at the camera before he jogs off, already knowing that he’ll have a text or two from her calling him a sap over his lovesick grin. And he’d hate to not see them as soon as they came in.

[adragonsfriend]

There are no trash takes on Jedi philosophy, there is contextual analysis.

As may be obvious from the title (humorous--I have gone through several common misinterpretations myself), this is about that infamous scrap of poetry,

There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force.

And the other version,

Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet the Force.

I've seen quite a few interpretations of these along the lines of "the second version is reasonable but the first version is crazy and stupid," so here's why I think both versions are actually communicating the same idea, and the wording doesn't really change the meaning much at all.

So just like I did in my post about "do or do not there is not try," let's start by asking some questions to establish context before we look at the text itself.

Is it THE Jedi Code or just a mantra? Legends says it's the Code, canon says it's a mantra. The fact of the matter is that no matter what, it's really a scrap of poetry which couldn't encompass the entire philosophical basis of a culture even if it was trying, so we'll consider it a mantra.

Does the fact that it's a mantra rather than THE Jedi Code mean that we can't get anything deep or meaningful out of it? Of course not. Just because it's not the whole of or a full explanation of Jedi philosophy doesn't mean it's just a nice sounding string of words.

Who is saying this to who? This mantra is often used to focus a meditation, with the first phrasing used by adults in the culture, while the second phrasing is more often used by children.

What were George Lucas' inspirations for Jedi culture that relate to this mantra? (borrowing from this post) A combination of christianity, buddhism, and his interpretations. I'm not an expert in any religion, and definitely not in buddhism, but I know enough to know I'm about to make some sweeping generalizations, so take this with a grain of salt. Disclaimers aside, this mantra, and the way it is phrased, indicate it is being inspired more by buddhism. The way christian texts, specifically the Bible, are written typically goes "here is a story about people doing something, and here is how big G god and/or Jesus reacted." There are metaphors sprinkled in, but they are mainly there to clarify for readers. Buddhist texts on the other hand (and lots of other eastern belief systems as well, like daoism, hinduism, etc. It's an important note that these belief systems don't necessarily conform to the western idea of what a religion is, and often their original languages don't even have a word which is equivalent in meaning to "religion") use metaphor in often deliberately contradictory ways, to make the reader think about things which are difficult to express in words alone. The ongoing struggle to reconcile contradictory descriptions is the point. This doesn't mean those texts can be interpreted however a reader would like. There may be multiple right interpretations, but there can also be wrong interpretations.

What the mantra does NOT mean:

"There is no ___ …" =/= "The experience of ___ is fake news."

"There is no ___ …" =/= "___ is not a useful concept."

"There is no ___ …" =/= "We should totally ignore ___ and pretend we've never heard that word before."

The mantra is not realy a set of advice on how to act. It's a set of statements about Existance. And I do mean capital E, philosophical, epistemological, weird, deep, think-y, Existence.

Temperature Metaphor

You know the first time someone tells you as a kid that cold isn't real, it's just the absence of heat and you're like… "but I'm touching something right now and it feels cold???" It sounds wild the first time you hear it, but as you think about it more, maybe learn about it a second time in science class, get some more context about how molecules work, etc. it begins to make more sense. It gets easier to grasp, until eventually the knowledge feels intuitive--especially if you're a STEM person who thinks about it a lot. We still talk about cold as a concept, because it's useful to us as well--lack of heat can have damaging effects on our bodies after all, and a cold drink is great on a hot day--and it's more efficient to say "cold" than it is to say "lack of heat." But there are some situations, like developing refrigeration or air conditioning, where it is not just useful but essential to think of temperature as it really is--heat exists, cold doesn't--and thinking of it colloquially can only hold us back (if this isn't actually intuitive to you, that's fine, it's just a metaphor--you could also think about dark being the absence of light, vacuum being the absence of mass, any number of things mirror this).

Probably the easiest like to get one's head around, imo at least, is "there is no ignorance, there is knowledge."

Taken hyper-literally it would mean "why seek out knowledge ever when everyone already knows everything?" But if we say knowledge is to heat as ignorance is to cold, then we can understand the real meaning--knowledge is real, where ignorance is only the name of an experience.

The Whole Mantra

This is the way the Jedi are understanding of emotion, ignorance, passion, chaos, death, etc. They are introduced, as children, to the idea that whilst they may feel all of these things, what they are actually experiencing is the lack of the other things--peace, knowledge, serenity, harmony, the Force. That's why they start with the "___ yet ___" phrasing--it introduces them to the first steps of understanding:

They can feel emotions, yet peace is still real and out there to reach for no matter how overwhelming those emotions may be at the moment,

They can feel ignorant or unknowledgeable, yet knowledge is out there to find,

They can experience passion (meaning suffering or pain in this context), yet know that serenity will return to them,

They can find their surroundings chaotic, and yet look for the harmony in the noise,

They can understand that death happens, yet be comforted by the fact that the person dying is still as much a part of the Force as they ever were.

Eventually they move onto the full mantra:

They will always feel emotions, but if they always reckon with those emotions and pass through them they can always return to a place of peace,

If they feel ignorant, they must seek out knowledge, rather than acting rashly. Also, their own knowledge is not the limit--others may hold knowledge in places they consider clouded,

They may experience suffering and pain--it may even feel like a good thing--but there is no wisdom in pain, it is the distraction from serenity, which is where truth can be found,

No matter how chaotic the world appears, it is actually a part of an underlying harmony that makes up all the patterns and the beauty in the world,

Death is not an ending, no matter how much it may look like one. It is a natural transition back into the Force, the place all life comes from.

A Jedi youngling is someone for whom this understanding is an essential part of the culture they are being brought up in.

A Jedi Padawan is someone who is beginning to learn to apply this understanding outside the confines of the Jedi temple, in a world where not everyone shares it.

A Jedi Knight is someone who has learned to apply this understanding on their own, without supervision.

A Jedi Master is someone for whom this understanding has become intuitive and automatic, no matter their surroundings.

All this is to say,

[erosia-rhodes]

Speculation on Mizu’s heritage

Blue Eye Samurai on Netflix is one of the best things I’ve seen all year. As I’ve been rewatching it, I couldn’t help but speculate on Mizu’s heritage, and I wanted to share my theory so we can all laugh at how wrong I was in a few years. (I am notoriously bad at guessing plot twists. I was totally wrong about how Wandavision and Loki season 1 would end.)

Spoilers and speculation behind the jump.

Short version: Mizu’s mother was a white woman and her father was the Shogun. The Shogun’s wife, Lady Itoh, put the bounty on Mizu’s life because she was proof that the Shogun broke his own laws.

Who Would Want to Kill a Baby?

We know that there has been a bounty on Mizu’s head since she was a baby. There are only three reasons I can think of for putting a hit out on a child who’s just been born and couldn’t have personally wronged anyone yet:

1) To deny them an inheritance.

2) To eliminate proof of an affair.

3) To eliminate proof of a crime.

The woman that claims to be Mizu’s mother is Japanese, so Mizu assumes her father must be white. But once Fowler reveals that Mizu’s “mother” was actually her maid, it opens up the possibility that Mizu’s mother was white and her father was Japanese.

We know that someone is willing to a pay a lot of money to kill Mizu, but the maid also ran off with enough money to take care of Mizu for several years, so at least one person in this mess is wealthy. We also know that someone still wants Mizu dead when she's an adult because men come to kill her when her husband rats her out, so she’s still a threat to someone else’s interests at that time.

If the Shogun slept with a white woman and fathered a mix-raced child as a result, that would fulfill all three reasons to put a bounty on a baby. Killing her would remove any chance that a bastard might try to blackmail her way into an inheritance, it would remove proof that the Shogun had an affair, and most importantly, it would destroy evidence that he violated his own laws against Western influence by sleeping with a white woman.

But the True Culprit is��

But I don’t think the Shogun put the bounty on Mizu’s life. I think it was the Shogun’s wife, Lady Itoh, for several reasons:

1) Lady Itoh is willing to kill people who learn that her husband broke his own laws.

When the nobles are trying to escape the fire in the finale, Lady Itoh makes her sons lock the door behind them and sentence the other Lords to death because they witnessed the Shogun’s shame, the revelation that he broke his own laws by dealing with Fowler, a white man. She’s demonstrated that she’s willing to kill people to destroy proof of her husband’s violations, so she’d do the same to a mixed-race baby he fathered. It would also explain why Mizu’s maid never claimed the bounty herself; she would have been targeted for death too because she knew about the Shogun’s crime. She probably took whatever money was in the house when the killers came for Mizu, and went on the run as much to save her own life as Mizu's.

2) The woman’s a sadist.

Lady Itoh does everything she can to make Akemi’s life hell once she marries into the family. She saddles her with bitchy attendants and serves her disgusting food at the banquet, and finishes it off with the cooked remains of the bird Akemi tried to free. Then she sends her two more birds the next day, claiming they’re breakfast and lunch. I have no trouble believing this woman would put a hit on a baby!

3) She’s a hardliner against Western influence

After the fire, Lady Itoh orders her sons to destroy 2000 guns which they could have used in the future against their enemies because she’d so fiercely against Western influence. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was the one who came up with the law banning white people and talked her husband into enacting it. That would explain why the Shogun was willing to violate the law, because he didn’t completely believe in it and only enacted it to get his wife off his back.

It Fits a Common Theme of Revenge Stories

Another reason I think Lady Itoh is the ultimate villain is because it fits the common theme that revenge is futile. Revenge usually destroys the person seeking it just as much as anyone they go after. There is a famous quote from Confucius that says, "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." The implication is that the second one is for yourself.

If it turns out that Mizu has been going after the only four men in the country who couldn’t be her father, it would demonstrate how misguided revenge quests are. She’s spent her whole life pouring hatred into the wrong mission.

It would also be a painful twist to know that Mizu was in the same room with Lady Itoh in the finale, but she was focused on killing Fowler instead of realizing that her true enemy was fleeing out the back door with everyone else.

How It Will All Sort Out

I predict that Mizu will eventually learn the truth about her parentage and ultimately target Lady Itoh for death, not just for revenge, but so she can permanently remove the bounty on her head and live her life freely as a woman.

Akemi might end up assisting Mizu since Lady Itoh is also her enemy. Akemi will probably spend season two battling Lady Itoh for control of the household, and thus the country. If Akemi can put her husband in place as the Shogun, she could remove the bounty on Mizu's head.

If Taigan ends up working as a castle guard, this might put him in conflict with Mizu and Akemi if they target Lady Itoh since he would be honor bound to protect her.

It will be interesting to see how it all sorts out!

ETA: I misspelled Lady Itoh's name, sorry! (According to the subtitles it's Itoh, not Ito) I think I fixed every instance.

[tallgirl14]

Chilchuck angst

I love this lil middle age man but i aslo live for angst so her are few my ideas because I need tell someone and if you have angst dm me we can talk about it

He carries a wallet size family portrait (when his girls were little) with him when he goes down in a dungeon, and he looks at it when he miss them. ( I feel like photos are probably pretty 💰💰 so they only had few consist wedding photo, baby photo mayjack she's fist born, then one of the whole family ) and this photo is chaotic and It makes him smile.

This is the ONLY photo he has of his entire family and he hasent seen them in few years with his kids grown living there own lives and him and his wife are split this photos all he's got.

How far would this man go for this picture. I can see chilchuck getting badly hurt because he went back to grab it and as Marcille is lecturing him about his reckless action as she's healing him.

Marcille: "What could have been so important that you risk your life over??"

Chilchuck: "my family or what's left of it"

He shows her the photo and marcille feels her heart drop she finally got to learn something about him and its sad ( this miscommunication leads to his group to believe chil family is dead )

Chilchuck taught Mayjack how to pick locks, and in the manga, he says when he dies, if they need someone, she'd be their first choice. SO he obviously took her through dungeon showing her how to navigate because being locksmith in a shop vs. dungeon is night & day different, dungeon being high pace environment.

Could you imagine how traumatizing that would be if saw her dad die in front of her AND NOT KNOW THEY COULD BE REVIVED!! (Seeing anyone die would be scaring) Especially if she felt it was her fault.

At first, Mayjack was curious about going into a dungeon with her dad to see exactly what he does she rember as kid seeing him come home late tired excused but mostly worn down.

Whenever she asked him about his work as a kid he was always vague or if he did talk about it was pg version and normally he was just trying scare us about going into dungeon. BUT one thing he made very clear, he didn't want any of her or her sister near the dungeon, but now that she's an adult, he couldn't stop her.

" I still don't want you near the dungeon, but you are a skilled locksmith, so you would be valued and well paid. IF you're still interested, I'll have you shadow me on my next small job so you can see what it's like."

At first, it was like any job we met with the client went over to the terms dad took payment, and then we headed over to the dungeon. I was awestruck by the new environment, but it quickly became overstimulating it took me a moment to adjust. the first few levels, dad had pointed out things to avoid what were scams & how to detect traps and walked me through a few I felt confident. Most importantly, when talking jobs, always have a skilled healer. Now I realize why as we enter new room dad was working on trap I was observing the room when I noticed treasure chest peaking out corner not knowing it was a mimick.

Chilchuck was Halfway through picking his lock when his dad sense went off. He quickly looked around room and spotted may messing with mimick

Chilchuck: "MAYJACK TIMS! get away from that!!" He starts running towards her

May turned to look at her dad, confused " why I already unlocked it?"

Her body stiffened as she could feel presents inside the chest, but before mimick could attach, chilchuck pushed her out of the way taking damage as it jabbed one of its claws through his neck causing him to bleed everywhere all mayjack could do was watch in horror paralyzed with fear trying process what happened. One of group members took care of mimick while she scrambled to her feet to get to here dad trying to put pressure on his wound tears flooding out

"Nonononno im sorry I'm sorry 🥺 "

As chilchuck lay there dying, he was more concerned with the fact he could comfort his daughter. This wasn't how he wanted to see death for the first time. Afterwards, the healer from their group came over and assured her he was going to be fine as she worked on reviving him.

Chilchuck let out a gasp and cough out some blood that had remained stuck in his throat. He turns to mayjack " that's why I told you to stay near me..." He moves toward her noticing her hands are strained with his blood. " are you hurt?... may? "

She shakes her head, and tears start to fall down her face he pulls her in for a hug. " it's ok, I'm ok ... I'm right here. " she hugs him tight, and they stay in that embrace for a while. When they finally break the hug, chilchuck wipes tears from her face.

" im sorry you saw that... do you want to go home.? "

" but the job?"

Chilchuck shakes his head " don't worry about it I brought someone along for that exact reason"

[maxwell-grant]

The Penguin Episode 7: "Top Hat" Breakdown

There’s a constant referencing of stunted childhood about Mr. Cobblepot – a baby grown enormous, grotesque and as needy as he ever was. The Hugh Hefner of crime. But the Penguin’s sublimated the desire for the tit for a desire for cash, power and empire. And this is why he’s Gotham’s greatest – and most outlandish – gangboss - TheMindlessOnes

The Penguin is the greatest Batman villain for the simple reason that he's the meanest. What the Penguin has that no one else has is a simple abundance of pure, unadulterated spite. In Batman's world there's madness, obsession, will and strength - but ultimately it all comes back to crime, pure and simple. The Penguin's motivations are pure because he simply resents the whole damn world and will not rest until he gets his. The Penguin is a criminal, nothing more and nothing less, with avarice in his heart and hatred in his eye. - Tegan O'Neil

(Episode 1) (Episode 2) (Episode 3) (Episode 4) (Episode 5) (Episode 6)

VLADIMIR CVETKO: We wanted Francis to never allow Oz to use his disability as a crutch, and to always have him be strong and move past it and use it to his benefit. But it is isolating. Like, it is. And so he'll never be the same as his brothers. And so there's an inherent jealousy of just his situation that's there - The Penguin Podcast Episode 7

RYDER ALLEN: He loves his brothers, but he loves his mom way more.

COLIN FARRELL: I think he probably all his life feels a little bit broken, and so he's constantly, constantly, looking for his mother's approval and her love. I think he's seen very up close and personal how his mother has toiled to provide for him and his brothers, and wants to give her a better life - Inside Episode 7

Massive props to all the actors here but especially to Ryder Allen, who is absolutely incredible as young Oz. It would be so, so easy to let this take on Colin Farrell's Penguin slip into pantomine but he makes it work brilliantly without feeling at all like an impression. He is so believable he even makes the adult version more believable. Like, that is the same guy, give or take decades of grime and grit and scars, but that's still the same little turd, just before he was truly practiced in hiding his simmering resentment, but already fast learning.

"My big strong bull of a boy", words that in Episode 01 embody such a dark aspect to their relationship began all the way here with Francis simply encouraging her sad little kid with a bum leg. I said as much in prior entries that it's Francis who lights the fire under him, that she is the force that pushed him from mere self-preservation into city-conquering ambition for her sake, and we see the most innocent form of that motivation here. Just a disabled kid whose mom loved him and wanted him to love himself more.

So the previous episodes had already given us small glimpses of what Jack and Benny were like when they were still alive - that Jack was presumably the older sibling and a baseball player and the de-facto "man of the house", given how readily Francis accepted the idea that he had gone downtown on his own to get the power back, and that Benny was presumably younger and more innocent or sweet, given she mistakes Victor for Benny and asks him to dance with her. The opening scene very much confirms and expands on these traits and already raises up Ozzie having a resentment for them, and where does that come from. That cocktail of self-preservation and insecurity and spite and overcompensating that defines him.

Because it's not even just that his mom loves them and he wants her to love just him, it's not pure greed, it also comes back to how little he thinks of himself, and how he's hyper aware of every advantage others have over him - He can't be the upstanding man Jack is, and he can't be the pure innocent source of joy that Benny is. He can't be trusted to talk to Rex like Jack, and he can't successfully drag her away from work to have fun like Benny. He can't go out and be relied on to take care of his mom like good and strong old Jack, and he can't run around the house like sweet and happy little Benny, can't join the three of them when they play and instead has to sit there and stew in rejection over all this love and affection he can't have.

I didn't think we'd get a glimpse of Rex, but the one we get is so fucking perfect. What we see so far shows he was basically just a piece of shit gangster, a cartoonishly evil Greaser extra with nothing special about him, he was just a guy Oz projected hardcore into because he got stuff done for Ma (and he wasn't even great for his mom, he underpaid her! Same shit Victor complained about with his own dad). Oswald stares at his money and his cigar and his attitude and already wants to be chummy with the guy while Rex doesn't even look at him, he talks to Jack only, and Francis doesn't want Oswald to be involved with him. But even so, he's the closest Ozzie has to an older male role model he looks up to.

And so it doesn't matter that Rex Calabrese's car wasn't actually made of gold,, because Oswald will grow up to tell his next little brother, the next Benny, about the gold cadillac of the man who blessed his block. It doesn't matter that Alberto Falcone was 100% right about Rex Calabrese being just a small-time asshole, because Oz elevated him into a post-mortem myth.

Really, he's doing the same thing Sofia does and that Bruce did, elevating paternal figures into personal saints and guiding lights on their great life missions, with Bruce shattered when he learned about Thomas' mistakes and how said failings shaped everything currently wrong with the city, and Sofia describing her abused scared but loving mother as "a force too great for the Falcones to handle")

I think, way more than the murder, this is the part that most speaks to me about this guy being fated to become The Penguin, that on some level beyond explanation this is just what he was going to be, that he can already think of nothing else but wanting to be this guy. Dude came out of the womb wanting to be a criminal.

Crucially important to where this is going is the fact that there was real love between these brothers. They play flashlight tag instead of regular tag so that Ozzie can be included. Jack is constantly trying to protect him, always shielding him from Rex, warning him that he's a bad guy, taking the two in the tunnels to protect them from the rain, telling them that Ma deserves way better than what Mr.Calabrese plays them. Benny wants to play zombies with Ozzie, wants them to go to the arcade and play Double Dragon forever, puts him up first at tag. And even if all Ozzie wants is to stay and help Ma, even if all his brothers do is get in the way of the only thing he wants, he also wants to play with them, he wants for Benny to think that Rex's car is cool, he is proud to tell Jack that he knows about Rex being a gangster, he wants them to like the things he likes and he wants to be involved when they play.

Just as important is the extent to which Oz was genuinely hurt by what they did at the tunnel - that to him, they pretended to include him in a fair game that was actively unfair, they broke the rules by leaving the area and then broke them further by hiding somewhere he couldn't physically get to and cheating at what they agreed to and laughed all the while, and that's why Ozzie angrily closes the door on them at first, to punish them for doing this to him.

Everything they do here, even Oz's decision to lock the door on them, is childish, because they're just kids playing around. Jack and Benny even apologize and say they'll start over, but then, what will become the pattern of his entire life begins. Naturally, we hear a rendition of his theme when this happens.

KEVIN BRAY: I don't think that Oz had an intention of taking his brothers out in that moment. We've all known that child as a child. We've known the child that just strikes too hard or hits somebody with something and never thought the consequences would cut them open and they'd have to go get stitches. And he didn't have the impulse control, you know, to think this through. - The Penguin Podcast Episode 7

LAUREN LEFRANC: In his mind, they go down the ladder into a deeper part of the tunnel because they know it's hard for him to get down there. That's not true, but that's what he thinks, because he personalizes things. And this is reflective of what we see from Oz in 101 with Alberto. Alberto demeans him, and Oz impulsively shoots him. As the water begins to rise and he knows the rain is coming down and he has every opportunity to stop it, he lets that impulsive act become permanent. It's not that he actively kills his brothers. It's that he actively does nothing to stop it. - Inside Episode 7

Penguin with the Iceberg Lounge built atop the 44 Below where the fucked up shit he's covering up happens / Penguin with the Underground Railroad built atop the foundation of his original moiders he's covering up

Thinking about a description that stuck with me from the podcast, that Francis sent him like a stealth bomber into the world. So stealthy that he even bombed her life and she didn't notice

"They're your boys, and they're freezing" For the entire show this has haunted Francis again and again, even right in front of Oz

I kinda expected, given the Pain and Prejudice mention, that Oswald was going to be indirectly or directly responsible for killing his brothers, and that this was going to have a vastly better idea for that concept, and that it did. I've seen lots of people describe this as the show asserting he was ontologically evil from birth and that's, well that's just dumb, and that would be too easy, that attributes foresight and planning to Oz's decision that simply wasn't there, and wildly misunderstands much of the point of the show. Oswald is not beyond reason or empathy or humanity or feeling, precisely the opposite - he is all too painfully human, all too painfully real, in the atrocities he does and the ones he does nothing to stop.

He just is fearless, and I think it has to do with his empathy. You’re going to go, “God, I hate this guy, but I see where that comes from and that does not make it okay.” There’s a sense of tragedy within all of that. -Matt Reeves

Oswald's decision to lock his brothers in a fit of cruel and stupid spite after they insulted him (even if by accident) mirrors his decision to shoot Alberto after he's insulted and his decision to rat out Sofia after being insulted. Oswald walking home and deciding to do nothing while telling a different story, because it ultimately benefits him to do so, mirrors his decade of silence over Sofia's imprisonment and his complicity in Carmine Falcone's murders while telling Eve a different story. It is, indeed, the worst thing Oz has done yet, but nothing about it is fundamentally different than the patterns by which he's acted since Episode 1.

It wasn't that his brothers were mean, not intentionally anyway, or even Oswald was always planning to kill them, he very clearly wasn't. But A: They did something that really hurt and upset and offended him, and so were the first to find out what happens when you do that to Oz. And B: They were the first people to be in the way of something Oz wanted, the only thing he ever really wanted which is his mother's love, and so it's good they had to go. Not a premedidated crime, not even something he actively wanted, but it was a happy acident turned chance, and he wound up taking it and doubling down on it.

It's evil and fucked up to the degree I think works best for Penguin being evil and fucked up: Not sadistic and over-the-top cruel, not the Joker or any of that fetishistically elaborate revenge bullshit he's had since Joker's Asylum, but as someone who profoundly does not care about what he has to do or who gets crushed along the way for him to get what he needs. Does not go out of his way to murder for the sake of it, but will not blink at whatever body count happens to get him what he wants, more indifferent than actively malicious and that doesn't actually make it a lot better.

I believe Oz to this day still loves his brothers. I believe he means it when he says "I lost em too", it's just he doesn't think about the contradiction involved.

As someone who never liked the hypothermia/forced into always going out with an umbrella origin (always thought the latter one was real forced and dumb as far as justifications for the umbrella-theme went), it's cool they actually did incorporate that classic Penguin origin element so strongly here. In the broadest strokes possible, they managed to work in "Penguin's mother lost her family due to hypothermia and so her smothering concerns for Oswald pushed him into situations where he was frequently belittled and mistreated until he became more and more insecure and spiteful and twisted"

That's the cornerstone around which everything is built, the rest of his life. And it certainly is the foundation, or the springboard upon which he is launched into the world, that decision that he makes as a child in that moment, and the reasons why he does it – so that he can have the isolation of his mother's love directed solely towards him." I think he washes his hands of it totally, and has convinced himself that it didn't happen the way it did. It's that grave. But it's in there somewhere – the darkness. - Colin Farrell

Something I should bring up is also the Portuguese title given to this episode: instead of translating Top Hat (which would be Cartola), they called it Manda-Chuva. Manda-chuva is a conjoined slang term for boss, big shot, head honcho, that kind of thing, but it translates more literally to "Rain sender/commander" (Manda = order/sender, Chuva = rain). Like you're the guy who makes it rain in the village, you command the rain and everything else. Fucking excellently horrible name choice here, like it better than the original title.

To quote @book--wyrm

the juxtaposition of the tapdancing and the raindrops and the slamming and the shooting and then the hum of the TV and the buzz of the streetlights (get back home when those go on) and the rushing of the water into the grillthat shot of the jar outside the window, all filled up with water, two toys floating in themthe highest point in his life. when his mom is still happy and whole and he doesnt' have to share her untainted love and he doesnt' have to think about the consequences of what he's done while his brothers are drowning in a sewer under the city

him literally turning away from the camera after the shot of his brothers screaming underwater, turning away from who he might have been—the steady, honest man, and the bright, innocent child as they drown horrifically, to stare at a glitzed and glamoured version of who he will eventually become

Oswald's first crime, the first time he learns he can get what he wants by skipping the line. That he actually can have everything if he just does things a certain way. It's the first time he won, the first time he managed to take out his enemies/competitors and won what he wanted for it, pushing his brothers out of the nest so he could hog mama all to himself.

Nobody has to know, nothing that could be done, they hurt me first, it didn't happen like that, I deserve this, I'm making her happy, I can take care of her.

"The city took them."

All he was doing was punishing them for playing a mean hurtful prank on him. And then he went home. And then at some point realized they were not going to come back, but he kept going. Isn't it warm here, with Ma? Isn't it everything he ever wanted? Look at the tv, the man with the top hat dancing away the night. Isn't it cool when he shoots down everyone in the back? Isn't it cool, this larger-than-life thing he will map his life around, showing him how much it rules to be like this? His very own Mask of Zorro, in Fred Astaire shooting his back-up dancers, The Gentleman Criminal taking form as he commits the most horrific despicable betrayal of his life. The fantasy he will spent the rest of his life grasping for and projecting on pieces of shit like Rex Calabrese and Carmine Falcone in the hopes of one day taking their place, while he at every turn works to destroy and undermine it.

It sprung from a very base animal selfishness, resulting from a perfectly understandable childish impulse, carried to unimaginably horrific proportions set to define the rest of his life. Ozzie Cobb never wanted to murder his brothers, but he got away with it, because The Penguin can get away with anything.

Oswald commits his first spiteful horrific childish self-serving murder, on the same day a sharp-dressed backstabbing criminal in a top hat dances before him and his adoring mother. He's seeing his future, the reward he gets for his first crime, and he likes it very much.

LAUREN LEFRANC: Without it sounding cheesy, love matters to him, and that doing right by whatever the (mafia) family traditionally would do isn't the most important to him. And that there's a brazenness to it, that he can do what he wants, and he can be with who he wants, and he'll make his family a mixed family. And that there's strength in that as well. That makes him a different man than we may have seen in different iterations of Salvatore Maroni -The Penguin Podcast Episode 7

"Fuck your guilt, just bring me an army" - That singlemindedness that makes Oz such a piece of shit, while also making him someone that you can follow and even look up to, a guy who can plausibly sell himself as Da Good Boss. He doesn't give Victor shit for what happened to his Ma, won't hear excuses and he doesn't care for them, we gotta get this done now. Like at the grave scene in Ep3, he doesn't want Victor's apologies, he wants him to get his shit together if he's gonna stick around (by what he thinks is entirely Victor's choice). He has no time for guilt or second-guessing or a conscience, not his nor anyone else's.

"Gentleman" is a term that's only been brought up once in some episodes and in the most bitterly ironic tones possible, here turned against Oswald by Sal berating him for having betrayed his gentleman's promise and thus now he'll get the same deal, which helped put something in perspective: Sal Maroni is right, he is a gentleman. In fact, if anyone in the entire show, if anyone in Gotham, could be described as a "gentleman criminal" the way Oz so desperately aspires to be, it would be Salvatore. And not only does he fail partially because of that, but Oz has nothing but contempt for him, only sees him as a sentimental preening idiot (exactly the way Carmine did) and not only that, he will spend the remainder of the episode dragging him down to his level and causing him to die for it.

I love that Oz tries twice to turn Sal against Sofia and it never works, not even a little. Zero pretense that she's not in control and Sal is fine with it, he just wants Oz dead more than anything else.

Definitely a good time to bring up that, the first time the name Oswald Cobblepot was ever introduced was in the Batman Sunday Classics newspaper strip, issue #119 in 1946, in a story about The Penguin's aunt who raised him, Miranda Cobblepot, coming to visit him after ten years, and him begging Batman to not reveal to her that he's a crook and hold off on arresting him until she's out of town. It's the first time we were also shown anything about Oswald's background and a maternal figure in his life, here seen as comically overbearing as well as completely oblivious to his criminal life, helping fight off mobsters and leaving while telling him to help his good friend Batman take these hoodlums to jail.

Miranda never really showed up again outside of this strip, but some of these ideas eventually carried over to mainline depictions of Penguin's mom, namely his dutifulness towards her and her control over him and her total obliviousness to his criminal deeds, which has always defined her. I bring this up because, while we've obviously seen before that Francis is his confidant and knows and encourages her son's brutality, dancing in giddyness when she hears about the Falcones being killed by him, it's a brutal contrast to her telling Sofia here that yes, she knows full well about the worst thing he had done up until the opening of this episode, she knows he burned alive a mother hugging her son, and she couldn't be prouder. Even now, she is the ultimate force in Oswald's life, the only authority he answers to and his guiding motivation, even as we learn now she was his greatest victim.

Francis burns with such eternal undying spite and hatred, the force that turned her boy from simple self-loathing self-preservation into city-conquering ambition, and she burns so strongly she trounces The Hangman in a verbal boxing match and cracks the façade that will be later shattered in the episode. Francis is tragic and sympathetic and loving only because she is interrupted with bouts of crushing despair and guilt and delude love brought on by her illness literally forcing these feelings on her, because otherwise she would be as good as, if not better, han her son at this. At steamrolling everything and everyone fueled by hatred, and hers still burns strongly at everything and everyone, except the person who most ruined her life.

Dr.Rush subtly but very clearly suggesting having Gia killed, lmao. I think it's good to have just one total pathosless bastard in the proceedings, when every other character has so much tragedy and history and whatnot. He has 100% wholly sublimated his guilt over the Arkham atrocities he was a part of into a drive to help his victim Sofia no matter what, and not actually improve as a person or rectify the problems he was a part of, thus becoming someone who can justify any atrocity because he's doing it in the name of someone else he must avenge and do right by.

A thing that @davidmann95 brought up for last episode that became extremely relevant for this one

this ep also illuminated Oz's true power for me: he understands more than anyone else the power of This Fuckin' Guy, and thus builds all his rhetorical swerves and master plans around painting someone else as that

he can't make people stop hating him, but he can make anyone the person you hate slightly more

His power is hate and spite, as is true of the Penguin, as he gets from his Ma. The one that fuels him, and the one he can stoke on others. Every reason they gave on that meeting as to why he's the most hated crook in town was twisted into an additional reason why they should hate the people he's up against more. Here, Oz tries to turn Sal against Sofia, and it doesn't work, so he buys a distraction by reinforcing his status as That Fucking Guy. Sal has him dead to rights in every sense, and Oz stokes up so much hatred that the guy actually fucking dies from it.

Hey Vic, don't you hate that your parents died over nothing? Don't you hate that the Falcones get everything and you get nothing? Hey Sofia, don't you hate how these old bastards treat you? Don't you hate how our friend Alberto got killed? Hey Crown Point, don't you hate how you've been abandoned? Don't you wish there was someone helping you get back at the bastards that left you to rot? Hey Gangs of Gotham, don't you hate those bastards up town wiping you out even more than you hate me and each other? Hey Sal Maroni, don't you hate ME? Let me remind you of why you fucking hate me so badly your heart's gonna explode.

Brought this gentleman Salvatore down to his level so hard that he made classic Sal Maroni, the seething vengeful bastard who will burn your face off if it's the last thing he does, into existence.

CLANCY BROWN: Oz is an American. He wants to win, and he wants to win on his terms, and he wants everybody to know it. That's why he throws the body out, you know. He throws the body out, for crying out loud. That couldn't have been easy. He throws the body out where everyone can see it.

LAUREN LEFRANC: No one is seeing this happen, so that then you sense Oz's delusion, right? He's talking to a dead man, and then he shoots him anyway, because he wanted to shoot him because he wanted to. And so, he got what he wanted, and he made it happen, even though it's not actually the way he imagined it. And then, what Clancy's saying, he throws the body out and then takes credit, like, "I killed him. I did it." And from that point on, in Oz's mind, he killed Sal Maroni. There is no other alternative. No one else is going to know that Sal died on his own. This is part of Oz's constructed narrative. - The Penguin Podcast Episode 7

I love how Clancy Brown put it, that Sal was all heart and passion and rage and so eventually it just had to go out. Perfect death. He is not the guy who can burn himself forever in the name of vengeance, he is not Oz and Sofia, he is not a Batman villain - he's the guy who dies to make way for them, and here, he dies denying Oz the satisfaction of taking him out. C'mahn man, twice already the big bad bosses of Gotham die before he gets to actually kill them, first Carmine and now this. Popping punk scrub bitch Alberto just wasn't that satisfying, and Sofia's just making everything too weird. With the Falcones gone, this was the guy he wanted to genuinely brag about killing to his mom, and now it's just gonna be another lie and delusion that Oz spins into reality.

Also further contextualizes why Oz is gonna be the guy who picks fights with Mr Vengeance. All he wants is to prove himself, but all his biggest opponents so far died on him before he could get satisfaction. He's happy to profit from the ring and from taking credit for killing Sal, and he may even rewrite his memory so as to delusionally believe he actually killed Sal, but the truth of that moment was personally wildly unsatisfying. He needs to be the big shot who clawed his way up there, he needs to be alone at the top, and he needs to push everyone out of the nest, like he did his brothers.

The station coin he pulls out of the car attached to his lie that the city took his brothers, and the ring he pulls out of the same car with the lie that he killed Sal Maroni

Just once in his life, he wants to say "I got you, I FUCKING GOT YOU!" to a big bastard who thinks they're better than him and died by his hand, and to actually mean it and have it stick, no asterisks attached.

Rules that even before we can fully understand how deep in Batman Villain territory she is, Sofia is dressing up in wild hair and black furs and heavy eye to visit Gia. It is still visibly her covering up and dressing more conservatively than her past outfits, but she is so inseparable from her trademarks at this point that she goes to a children's mental hospital looking like she's hunting down the Baudelaire orphans for their inheritance money.

Sofia fully replicating the same attitude that was weaponized against her to cover up her mother's murder, and then when she sees the scars and realizes the degree to which she's created another Sofia, pivots instead to embracing her while telling her as openly as possible that yeah, I killed your mom and dad, you should be happy I did, they were scum, please be happy I murdered your family, you're free now like me. She won't accept becoming the same monster that they were to her, so instead she opts to become a different one.

As much as Eve was wrong about Sofia being the Hangman, she was right that she thinks in black and white: her worldview is based around compartmentalizing everyone between Victims and Victimizers. She very much placed Eve in the latter category at first and everything she was doing in that conversation at first, prodding her about performing for men, about her relationship with Oz, about her shallow lies to men, about being good at saying what people want to hear, seeing her as an extension of Oz, everything was to confirm and strengthen her already existing bias and intent to kill her, until The Hangman came and in part she realized that killing Eve would firmly make her a Victimizer.

Everyone she has killed up until this point? Victimizer. Alberto, who was very much complicit and aware of the fucked up shit Carmine did? Victim, because maybe he couldn't have known, he fought to keep her alive and get her out, she loved him, and he was killed by a Victimizer. The Crown Point followers of Oz she'll bomb later in the episode? Victimizers. Julian Rush? Victimizer, but he knows his place. Sal Maroni? Victimizer turned Victim. Oswald? Victim turned Victimizer a decade ago. Francis shook her up, but she can still justify doing horrific things to a mentally ill woman because she raised the monster who did all of this to her and is proud to have done so, ergo, Victimizer. But in Gia, her comic book view of morality shatters, because she's confronted with a Victim who is so because Sofia was her Victimizer and this is not fixable.

And to her detriment, Sofia has enough of a conscience to be aware that she created another Sofia, and so she speedruns self-awareness and reverts to the old Sofia, which causes her to start dying on the spot under the weight of everything that has happened to her and she's become. And so it falls to Dr.Rush to actually do what he should have always done for her and save her, as well as put her back on tracks to do the most fucked up thing she has ever done, steering her back into the mindset she needs to survive this.

She wants two wildly contradictory things, she wants to be free from it all and she wants her eternal revenge on her nemesis and she will forsake the former in pursuit of the latter. Her most sincere desire is freedom and peace away from this fucked up world her dad created for her, but she will never make it if she stops, and the only way she will make it is if she buries the part of her father's legacy that is still actively around and ruining her life. All she wants is to be free and she never will be until she kills him, until she kills everything he embodies in her life, and in her quest to kill him, she will most likely throw it all away.

As @book--wyrm put it, "Oswald is pursuing his dreams, and Sofia is running away from a nightmare". Sofia dreams of Arkham, of the yellow wallpaper, of Magpie chanting Haaangman inside endless dark metal walls. She dreams of her mother's corpse, of being hanged and murdered in her place, of Alberto's murder, and everything that causes her to scratch and tear at herself until she wakes up. Oswald? He dreams of Fred Astaire tap dancing and shooting his back-up dancers, and to even think of anything else is unthinkable. Nothing else matters.

But in spite of struggling with a conscience and an understanding of morality that Oz fundamentally lacks, I also like that Sofia is more imaginative in her cruelty than he is. She is sadistic to a careful, measured, elaborate extent Oz hasn't really learned to be yet. Even the burning of Nadia and Taj, as horrible and sadistic and premeditated as it is, was still rooted in self-preservation and a failsafe in case they backed out on the deal and petty revenge for stealing his shit and ruining his deal. But Sofia took the time to have Dr.Rush hypnotize Francis so they could learn the most thematically appropriate location to torture and kill the two and then engineered an outcome just to psychologically torture him before blowing him up, knowing he'd find a way to survive even that and setting this up just to flush him out of hiding.

For those keeping score at home, in this episode, Sofia Gigante attacked his sidekick with a crowbar, sicced her goons to beat him up and steal his shit, kidnapped his mom and had her sidekick, the Arkham doctor who begged to be her Harley Quinn, do hypnotic mental torture on her, baited Oz into a trap within a trap within a fake surrender and with an accompanying speech about how the old game is gone and she is playing new ones, bombed his Batcave and his loyal army, banked on him surviving that so she could send someone to pick him off as he escaped, and is now taking him and his mom to a showdown at a deeply and thematically important place for them, which is also a fucking theater by the way. I've been raving about her being the real Batman Villain of the show since Episode 03 but at this point, she is more Joker than the actual Joker in this saga. She's fully thrown herself into happily and merrily pulling a grand horrible caper on him and his entire life and everything he cares about with little practical consideration to her own criminal empire but extensive thought given into the panache and thematic meaning of what she's doing, it's amazing.

Fun thing to think about, whether Oz would have left Victor to die down there along with everyone else, or really just if he would have bothered to warn him before he bolted to the hole made just for him. We've already seen Oz quickly sell out one of Victor's friends out to die, someone who could have been Victor himself if he had gotten away. We've already seen in the burning of Taj and Nadia how monstrous Oz can be without Victor around. And now here we see how quickly and efficiently Oz can ditch all "the good people of Crown Point", the people who actively put themselves in danger to save him from Sal, to die at a moment's notice.

Credit to @book--wyrm for pointing how the bottom two rungs of the ladder he climbs are broken. The first two bodies he ever climbed over to get what he wants.

And thus we see by their last scene together how Oswald and Francis's present relationship began. The moment he transformed into the amalgamate of everything she lost and needed in her life, when he needed to step and be everything that Jack and Benny and dad and Rex had to be for her, because it's just the two of them now and forever, Kids raised by financially struggling single mothers often very much have to pull double or triple duty and work to compensate for much of what a husband or uncle or support network are supposed to do (speaking from personal experience here), and so from an early age Oswald already had to transform into the character he'd play as an adult.

He has to be the replacement man of the house who leaves her to get shit done for her, and he has to be her sweet boy who tends to her emotional needs, and he has to be her big strong bull of a boy who survived and stuck around and now grounds her in reality so she won't lose herself, and he has to be the provider and caretaker that her husband failed to be, and he has to be her Rex Calabrese who won't take shit from anyone and make sure she gets what she asks for even if it's by illegal underhanded means, and it's too much. Following his first crime and his first victory, we thus get the first moment that Oz began to spin far too many plates to keep his life in one piece and avoid consequences for the shit he put himself and someone else in.

He broke her due to his need for her love, and she broke him due to her need for his love. He turned her selfish and cruel and broken like him, and she turned him into someone who would never, ever grow up and change past this. Oswald's maturity and Francis' hopes died with the two and now, as Oz said to Benny 2 back in Episode 3, "there is just this - survival".

So obviously the climax of the show / Oz's relationship with his mom is gonna happen in a theater club, of course. Of course it's the same place that he swore as a child his eternal mission to do right by her.

Though he lacks the money and the umbrella gadgets and bird armies and supervillain resources, they've managed to firmly establish what the Penguin has in extreme abundance, the superpowers in his soul that allowed him to make his way through the world and win.

Ozzie's failings are human failings, Ozzie's attitudes are human attitudes, everything done in the flashback, even the closing of the door, was fixable. But The Penguin is unmatched at getting away, with an almost preternatural ability to fuck people over to get ahead, to slip from a catastrophe and land right into another one. This is a guy who is, in his own way, every bit the absurd uncanny freak that any other version of Oswald Cobblepot has ever been, and if his lack of evening wear and verbosity makes him distinct from classically-flavored Penguins, everything that matters to the character is and always has been there.

This is a guy who is better than anyone at "the wiley schemes and the quick, last minute escapes, who always has a trap door, an unbrellachute, some other trick up his sleeve to thwart and evade his dark nemesis at the eleventh hour". This is a guy deep in unshakeable childish delusion and devotion to the hustle, who burns a bottomless black hole of ambition in his gut and who was born with cigarette ash for blood and a top hat instead of a heart. He may not have been born evil, but he was born ready. Ready to be the embodiment of Gotham's criminal element, to be a child's idea of a master criminal in much the same way Batman is a child's idea of crimefighter, born ready to do this shit forever and ever.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I think it's very fun to talk about mental health in normalizing conversations because when I was little and I would tic so hard for so long that I started crying, my mom would hold my hands and tell me to stand on her toes and she would "dance me through it" and so I would and she would spin around and around, stepping carefully so my little feet never slipped off the top of her feet, but moving fast so I would get all giggly and dizzy, and by the end she was right! My ticcing wasn't as bad anymore.

And like. I know now that it's because I was actively stressing myself out trying to stop ticcing, and since my tics are stress-reactive that obviously made it worse, but at the time I was just a kindergartener living in a world where dancing made my body stop performing the compulsions and so sometimes I would "dance myself through it" if mom wasn't around and when people maxe fun of me for it, I couldn't do that around them anymore and so I would tic more often and get more overwhelmed and there were days I wouldn't stop ticcing for hours on end because no one but my mom was willing to just let me dance through them.

But until the first time that happened, I didn't know there was anything unusual or unfamiliar to others about what I was doing. My mom was just so matter of fact about it "when you can't stopticcing, that's your body asking you to move and dance amd get the stress out" so I believed her! Of course I did. And she was right even, at least for me.

I was an adult by the time I learned that my mom ticc'd too, because she'd been doing what she taught me for so long that it was rare it happened visibly anymore, and it made sense that she'd been able to move me through my own experience so gently after that. But what if it didn't take a parent sharing our experience to be able to exist in a context that doesn't pathologize or shame what's happening?

Anyway, I've been in and out of various inpatient and outpatient programs since I was 7yrs old, and nothing did more damage to me than the people who taught my mother that there were things about my brain and body that were Wrong TM and needed fixing when she had spent the entirety of my life up to that point accommodating my needs and helping me understand how to coexist in the world on my own terms. I've benefitted from having names for things, sure, and I've had great healing and community in peer groups based around sharing those experiences. But at the end of the day, it is when those same spaces allow me to decide how to talk about what my life feels like that they have meant the most to me. I will always be grateful to the mental health care providers in my life who have been supportive of this type of care for me, but ultimately I also understand that they were able to do that because they were actively breaking down my framework of "because I experience x, I must compensate with y" into a gentler version that goes more like "because I experience x, I may need to seek out y outcome in different or unexpected ways."

I don't know why that makes as much difference to me as it does, but it does.

Anyway, I want to do for someone else what my mom did for me. I want someone else to get to feel like they can ask themselves what they need to get through something and not set any particular moral or emotional meaning to that need.

I have, among others, symmetry tics. If I experience a sensation on one side of my body, I will often reflexively try to adequately mirror it on the other side of my body. One of the pitfalls I often fall into is "the symmetry tic was actuallya different sensation and now I have to mirror THAT on the original side" and off we go into a tic spiral. The trick, for me, has been learning how to hold myself safely in the stress of the tic compulsion until the original sensation passes or fades and that allows the compulsion to fade with it. That can be hard, but taking a cue from my mom, I've found that when I occupy my body with movement, especially goal oriented but indefinite movement like dance, I have a MUCH easier time waiting for the trigger sensation to fade. I think it's good for those of us with experiences we often feel compelled to hide from view to get time in the sun. It lets us remember that our existence is not inherently side-lined in favor of other existences, and we do have the right to ask people to work with us on creating space for our own version of living. That may not guarantee us the desired outcome, but I've found that feeling you have the right to ask in the first place and actively come to the conclusion TOGETHER that there is not a solution is what seems to allow me to make those compromises without feeling erased or ashamed when I do.

[hippielittlemetalhead]

So I've seen a lot of 'Hop actively dislikes and distrusts Steve', 'Hop tolerates Steve because he's useful during UD shenanigans but doesn't like him', and the big swing to 'Hop has adopted Steve as his own and treats him the same/almost the same as he does El'

BUT, I present:

Hop pseudo adopts Steve because when he and Owens were trying to get the Harringtons to make any decisions about their teenager who saw some sketchy shit and may need government testing they legally gave Hop the rights to act in loco parentis and he takes that seriously because he doesn't want another Will Byers and he's pretty sure the Harrington kid has a concussion.

Hop who stays involved just enough in Steve's life season 1-3 that we the audience see Steve is getting attached. But Hop just sees an annoying kid who won't leave him alone when he's trying to deal with a rebellious psychic and her insane little friends and keeps asking stupid questions about highschool romance and teenage rivalry drama. Knows Joyce Byers doesn't like the kid but won't give a lot of reason why but he's mostly learned to trust that woman's judgement about people. Still gets him the job at Scoops when the kid's dad makes a stink about college and tells him if he survives a few months there he'll consider bringing him on the force, makes sense to keep him close and in a position to help should shit hit the fan again.

Hop who doesn't get it when Steve is one of the most relieved when he 'comes back to life' after Joyce and Murray bring him back from Russia. When Steve introduces him as "My Hop," (something he'd taken to calling him just before season 2 shenanigans) to his sarcastic, fidgety little friend like it means something. The girl, Robin, looks between the two of them and gets this sad look on her face for a second before smiling and shaking his hand and saying something about "Dingus has told me all about you".

Hop who complains to Murray one of the times The Party and assorted teens and adults are over at his renovated and expanded cabin (courtesy of Owens and shady government organizations recognizing these people are worth investing in, heavily if omens are to be believed) when the bald annoyance asks about what's up on there. Complains about having annoying teenagers who have nothing better to do but pester him legally put under his supervision cause their parents can't be assed to care and are spoiled little shits who are slightly more bearable versions of said parents cause he can stand toe to toe with one of those monsters they faced and the kids kind of listen to him. Complains about barely being able to breathe cause of regular visits and check-ins like Hop was still responsible for him. Says at least the extra hands are useful around the cabin what with the still healing up and El pacing herself after the showdown with Creel and still trying to find Max and the Byers not quite moved back to Hawkins yet.

Hop who doesn't realize that Steve hears every word cause he had gone looking for the older man when he disappeared for more than a few minutes, when he couldn't see him to make sure he was here and safe and alive. Steve who thought Hop actually had come to care for him in his own gruff way and had confessed to Robin that in a lot of ways the way Hop has taken care of him makes him the closest thing to the father figure he's always wanted but never thought he'd get to have. Steve who hears Murray hum and recollect a visit from Nancy and Jonathan where their romance officially started (he vaguely knows about the visit, didn't realize that's what happened, didn't realize she couldn't be bothered to even do the decent/considerate thing before moving on to something better) because it seemed it was a pattern he was seeing 'people liked Steve, but people didn't love Steve'.

Hop who hears a choked sound like someone taking a claw to the gut and turns to see Harrington. Steve Harrington his bandages just peeking out from the collar of his shirt and the opening of his sleeves. (He never did get the stories behind those, too busy being fussed over and being told about the kids and how they were doing as Harrington played babysitter) Steve Harrington a kid who went through hell and still managed to smile and laugh and stand tall and unyielding looking at him with a blank face his eyes misty and his shoulders starting to curl in on himself before he clears his throat, chokes out that he just wanted to make sure Hop was alright but looks like Murray had everything under control. He'd go now, get out of his hair, let him rest, let him breathe. Steve Harrington who walks away with purpose like a man on a mission and doesn't acknowledge the kids calling out asking if he's alright, make sure he has his walkie talkie on him.

Hop, who realizes maybe he left behind two kids who missed (needed) him. Who wonders who took care of Harrington's paperwork when he was concussed and sedated because he was bleeding out and feverish from infection and Hop was busy at the cabin reveling in the comfort and warmth of his daughter and the woman he loved and her two sons who were fast becoming like his own. Hop, who realizes too late that maybe if he'd given the kid half a chance he could have had 3 sons to sit with him and his daughter and the woman he loved as they basked in surviving another end-of-the-world. Hop who has spent years barely giving a damn about Steve Harrington and realizes that he's no better than the kid's own parents.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4.1

Part 4.2

Part 5

[writingforatwistedworld]

Hey Leona, Azul, and Riddle! (Self-aware AU)

What's your favorite event that your nation/country does to celebrate the overseer, like do they do anything specific you enjoy?

Riddle: "My favourite holiday celebrating her majesty? I think it might be the rose parade. One whole week, everyone gathers and prepares a huge festival for their grace. At the end, a parade happens. To be fair, I might be biased since that part of the festivities was the only one my mother allowed me to partake and that also under the guise of learning. Apparently, the formation is one of the card soldiers during the Queen of Hearts rule. Originally, it was a demonstration of power, but nowadays it's more of a celebration than a demonstration of power."

Leona: "Why are you asking me that? It's not like it's important."

*You continue to stare at Leona until he opens his eyes unnerved*

Leona: "Allright. Allright. Enough already. Since Sunset Savannah is a lot less... zealous about them, we don't have many celebrations with them in mind. However, there is one. It doesn't have a name and is more of a tradition. The first week of drought, the higher ranked provide fully for the poor. If you ask me, that should be the norm. How it came to be? Apparently, when the hyenas first came into our lands, the high ranking nobles provided for them by hunting not only for themselves. Otherwise, not much is known. We know that something went wrong along the way and it got reduced to that week but for all I know, this could also be an excuse for people in higher positions to avoid their duty."

Azul: "Annual day of studies. It's not a big celebration in the sense of how it would usually be done but rather a group activity. Children in school that day learn less about our modern studies but rather those back when the sea witch was still alive. Many things have already been forgotten and had it not been for a book found in the corner of an old study, I would also have not been able to walk on land. You see, the potion I use to maintain my legs was derived from the magic taught in it. But where were we? Ah yes, the festival. Adults have, of course, their own version of it. Mostly it's about repeating old knowledge but the great scholar had also encouraged us to reach greater wisdom. This leads to many "new" discoveries in the field of magic. Sometimes you just need to go back to the roots..."

*You meet Floyd later. He tells you how proud Azul always was when the other children couldn't keep up with him and his knowledge about the overseer*

[lunastrophe]

BG3 Elven Lore 🌙 Astarion's Life In The City

I was thinking recently about Astarion's past and how his childhood could look like. Did he spend it in Baldur's Gate, or somewhere else?

According to D&D lore, elves have their own cities, laguages, cultures, customs and deities. They are not meant to be simply prettier, pointy-eared versions of humans with longer lifespan and some other superior traits. They are different on many levels: biological, psychological, even spiritual one.

Elven parents usually want their children to be born and spend the first decades of their lives in elven communities - mainly to ensure their safety (children are not common among elves), but also to allow them to grow up in connection to elven way of life: language, cultural values, spirituality and so on.

Sometimes it is not possible, though, and elven child is born and / or grows up in predominantly non-elven community. Perhaps Astarion's childhood looked like that.

🌙 City Elves - some elves, for various reasons, choose to spend some time away from elven lands, adventuring or travelling. Some of them may decide to stay for a few decades or centuries in a large, cosmopolitan city like Baldur's Gate - and even start a family there, becoming a part of local community.

It is quite possible that Astarion's parents were such "city elves" and because of that, he was growing up more or less disconnected from a typical, traditional elven way of life. That might explain why at 39 he had a career and quite responsible position - while typically, a young elf of a similar age would not even be considered an adult.

🌙 Fostered Out - upon reaching the age of twenty, a young elf is usually fostered out to another relative who lives in the same community or somewhere else, mainly to learn various skills and family lore, and to study. This process of fostering and studying can be repeated for the first hundred years of young elf's life (based on Races of the Wild, D&D 3.5e).

So, another possibility: maybe Astarion was born somewhere else and was sent to Baldur's Gate when he was twenty or so, to spend some time (like, a few decades) with his relative(s) and to study.

🌙 Orphaned - some elven children after losing their parents are adopted by their relatives, but some may end up being raised by non-elves - for example, by humans.

Among elves, such a thing is typically considered a great misfortune. Non-elf-raised elves are often not prepared for the prospect of centuries stretching before them - they are forced to grow up quickly, they try to live like their non-elven teachers and later, they have no idea how to manage the weight of their much longer lifespan (based on The Complete Book of Elves, 2e).

This is yet another scenario that might explain why Astarion, being a very young elf, had a life of a very much adult human (39 definitely does not sound like "adult-enough-to-work-as-a-magistrate" from elven point of view).

🌙 Astarion's Family - assuming that Astarion was raised by his elven parents or other relatives, it seems a bit doubtful to me that they would never, ever stumble across him somewhere in the city for around two hundred years. Perhaps after his death, they decided to leave Baldur's Gate - because, for example, staying there was too painful for them?

And if he was an elven orphan raised by humans - even if his human family did not leave the city, it is certain that they are not around anymore after two centuries...

[thegurlwhoisntthere]

Okay, HTTYD fandom I’m coming for you.

I want an au where the gang were always friends. Like, they grew up to be just as tight-nit as they are in RTTE, but because of reasons they hide the fact that they’re friends with Hiccup from the adults. Why do I think this could work?

Well:

Hiccup by nature is very forgiving, so when all his friends come to him and say they can’t be friends in public because of one reason or another, he sympathizes, as long as they’re still friends, he doesn’t really care.

Snotlout is the first in the group to start drifting away, and they all ask him why

Spitelout doesn’t like that his son is hanging around Hiccup when he’s so unviking-like

He pressures Snotlout to cut ties with his cousin and to start putting him down for not living up to “what he should”

This backfires

Baby-lout hasn’t yet had the time to really internalize his father’s teachings, so when his friends ask, he tearfully tells them

Most of the group is furious, but Hiccup understands

If it had just been up to him the group probably would’ve disbanded then and there

Lucky for him it wasn’t

They figure that if Spitelout doesn’t want them to friends then they won’t… in public

In private is a different story

In public they treat it like a game, to taunt each other and be as sarcastic as possible

But when they’re alone they let their guard down

The next one to go, surprisingly, is Astrid

After her uncle died her family’s reputation takes a dive

At first, the fact that she’s friends with the chief’s son is a good thing, but as time goes on and he doesn’t grow, her parents start getting pressure, and Astrid, not being as young anymore, feels it, too

Astrid’s extremely conflicted, because on the one hand she doesn’t want to abandon Hiccup, let alone insult him in front of the village like Snotlout

But on the other, she needs to restore her family’s honor

So they come up with Astrid’s cover: in public she’ll distance herself from all of them, working hard to be a shield-maiden, only being a part of the group in an orbit-sort of way

She grows into ignoring Hiccup in public because if she doesn’t she’s going to take the head off the next person who insults him

For Fishlegs and the Twins, there’s no specific moment that they start to distance themselves in public

Overtime, the twins become more destructive and so does Hiccup, so being seen together is a no-go

Fishlegs is growing evermore into the scholar and is completely uninterested in fighting, to the point where, if it wasn’t for his stature, he’d be in the same boat as Hiccup (if less magnified, because he’s not the Chief’s son)

So they all “grow apart” into the roles we see in the first movie, with some noticeable differences

They sit together in the great hall, but to anyone casually observing Hiccup’s excluded from the conversation

In actuality, Hiccup and Fishlegs came up with their own little version of sign language which Astrid forced everyone to learn, though some are more fluent than others (Tuffnut is surprising good at it, but Snotlout’s lucky to understand a full sentence)

Astrid still trains extra in the forest, but usually you can find the rest of the group somewhere nearby doing their own thing, if they’re not needed elsewhere

Similarly, because they hang out around her while she trains, she manages to bully at least Hiccup and Fishlegs into being at least passable with one weapon (sword and hammer)

Snotlout still flirts with Astrid, but it’s far more joking and well timed than in canon (of course he still has a crush on her, she’s Astrid, but he also flirts with her to escape that weird fluttery feeling he gets when Fishlegs gets excited about the book he’s reading)

The twins outward behavior doesn’t change as much as their friends’ perception of them

The group is very aware that the twins are far smarter and more capable than they let on, and are aware that a lot of their chaos is carefully planned and not just violent stupidity like the rest of the village might assume

The gang even joins in a lot, the twins made them far more mischievous than they let anyone know

Due to the closeness to Astrid, Ruffnut is far more willing to be serious about training and other things, even if she still tries to downplay it

In reverse, Astrid is far more willing to chill the fuck out and have some fun, let her creativity take the lead, even if she’s very strict about keeping a mask in public

This is getting really long and repetitive so I’m just going to leave a few more thoughts

Fishlegs is far more confident and courageous because of his friends, but he’s still skittish in public

Hiccup is far less he’ll-bent on proving himself, but he’s still a sarcastic insane inventor so the results are pretty much the same he’s just happier (less lonely and lacking self-esteem)

Snotlout and Astrid are more comfortable with their emotions

Snotlout has less self-image problems (still-there though, fuck Spitelout)

When Hiccup says he shot down a Night Fury, they can tell he’s telling the truth, but they don’t have time to search with him that day, so he still meets Toothless the same

They plan to work together come dragon training, but Toothless kinda throws a wrench in that plan

Hiccup tries to keep him secret, but they know him, so when the Zippleback thing happens, he stands no chance

I have a lot more ideas but this so long

Just. Let them be friends damn it

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking someone not to make my art about a ship I hate?

This happened a couple months ago, but I’m still kinda unsure if I handled it correctly.

Basic rundown of events: I posted some art of a character on their own in the evening, and when I woke up the next morning, someone had reblogged with an addition about a ship that’s a big notp for me. I messaged them to ask they delete it as politely as possible, because people had been interacting with that version of the post specifically and it made me uncomfortable. They responded by saying I was being immature and needed to learn not to police what other people do on the internet. We exchanged a couple more messages, and I tried to explain my position my throughly. Neither of us was overtly hostile or anything, but I felt extremely talked down to by their tone of voice. After our conversation, we both blocked each other, and that was that. They never did delete their addition.

Why I think I might be TA: we weren’t exactly friends or anything. Neither of us followed each other. I’d seen them around in the fandom, and they’d reblogged some of my art in the past, but I think messaging someone I didn’t know instead of just blocking them might have been a bit of an overreach. Plus the ship in question is canon, and not particularly controversial or anything, so most people in the fandom probably wouldn’t have minded.

On the other hand, the ship being so unavoidable is a big part of the reason it upset me so much. It’s hard for me to exist in this fandom without having to see it constantly, and I don’t even ever mention the other character in it for fear of this exact thing happening. I’ve had people be assholes on my posts about the ship I prefer, or go out of their way to interpret my romantic posts about them platonically, or add tags to my art about how they only like my ship as backstory and not endgame. I don’t want to have to put a disclaimer every single time I post about this fandom. I just want to enjoy the things I like without being negative all the time. Which is why I figured messaging privately was more polite than making a stink where everyone could see. I specifically mentioned that I knew they wouldn’t have known and wasn’t mad.

No one actually ended up reblogging their addition, which is also a strike against me, but I got a lot of likes on specifically that version of the post, which made me scared they were going to. I hated the idea of having to turn off reblogs on a piece I’d worked pretty fucking hard on because a version I found so upsetting was in circulation. If it was just tags, I’d have blocked, but it being an addition is different. I don’t think asking people not to make my posts about it is “policing what other people do on the internet”. You’re in MY house, on MY post with MY art I spent hours on. Making additions to art posts already seems somewhat rude to me, that’s just not something you do, but I guess that’s a matter of the corner of tumblr culture you’re used it.

Also, their response felt very aggressive and condescending. They implied I was, like, a kid, and I do think I’m somewhat younger than them, but the only information about my age in my bio at the time was that I’m an adult, so it felt like a rude assumption. My age doesn’t have anything to do with it.

Again, though, I do absolutely see how my initial message could read as entitled. During the rest of our messaging, I did lose my temper a little bit at one point; I said something about how I’ve had to deal with shit in this fandom before, and I don’t remember the exact words since, again, we both blocked each other, but I know I swore at them. That might’ve come across as more aggressive than I wanted, and probably didn’t exactly help deescalate. (Can’t say for sure, I don’t have their side of the story)

Like I said, this situation was a bit ago now, but it upset me pretty bad at the time, and I’m still not entirely sure who’s in the wrong. So, AITA?

(Also to get ahead of this: please don’t make this about shipcourse in the comments. It’s not about that. They and I have similar opinions on that discourse from what I’ve gathered anyway. Thanks.)

What are these acronyms?