#and kinda not in the mood to need to moderate it for real

[13eyond13]

wait. there's a Those fic server?

it was more of a thing about 4 years ago, but yep!

Edit: if you want someone to chat to about it check the notes of this ask for an offer anon :)

[bklynmusicnerd]

GH Petty Polls Roundup! (Cause I felt kinda bad that I dropped the ball last time, and didn't compile the results of the last round 🙈)

Since we're currently in the midst of the union writers' comeback, there's a lot of developments happening at once. The mood based on a glance at the results is fairly pessimistic but some hope here and there. Which is not that surprising considering post-stockpile, audience trust is at an all-time low, but let's just get into these results.

Going in order of what you guys were most interested in putting your two cents in about:

The groundwork is rapidly (thank god) being laid for the final Trina vs. Esme showdown and regardless of how we feel, battle lines are being drawn and some of our faves are not on the same side. This week made clear that Laura is firmly Team Esme and Ava is firmly Team Trina. I wanted to know where you guys stood and you made yourselves very clear lol.

When asked whose side are you on in the event of Trina/Ava vs. Laura/Esme it really wasn't close at all:

At 97.7 %, Trina and Ava are the people's choice because of course they are! They're ride or die, exude regular bad bitch energy and are found family in its essence.

They have never seriously wavered on each other while Laura and Esme were literally built on the whitewashing of the harm Esme did to Laura's own flesh and blood. Trina and Ava are a comfort power mentor/mentee duo, Laura and Esme are botched redemption prop duty gone seriously wrong. No real competition here.

As for the 2.3% that chose Esme and Laura...

Now onto the results you guys were slightly more divided on...

A certain someone's return was announced on a certain poorly reviewed primetime special and the discourse was immediate. All of a sudden, we had taken a time machine back to 2007. But, since his actual last return was 2017 and a huge dud, I wanted to see where you guys landed on Sonny's Permanent Bottom Bitc-I mean Jason Morgan's announced return.

And for a plurality of you, the answer was the stone cold thrill is gone:

The 2017 return did its damage and there's just nothing for Jason, or his many ships, to offer for you this time around. You're over the leather jacket, the refusal to step up and raise his kids and commitment to a thug life he's clearly aging out of.

32.4% of you are equally annoyed with the announcement of his return but can at least find joy in the man formerly known as Jax fuming in the corner with the confirmation that his conservative clout chasing gamble to sue the network was a huge waste of time.

20.6% of were still too numb over what a bizarre mess the primetime special was to even process the news (I hope you're feeling better ❤️)

And because I do believe in the voice of the minority too, 11.8% of you are excited for Jason's return. You're like me in 2017 and still have hope that he can mature beyond his cyborg ways. All I can say to that is...

And in a related poll, because we are a community united in snark, when I asked how hard you guys will laugh when Drew gets tossed aside for Jason...again. The consensus was clear, 90.6% of you will need a medic on standby, you'll be laughing that hard (I'll be right there with you).

6.3% of you are too kind for this world and will smirk, because you're human and Justice for Scout, but also feel a little bad.

3.1 % can call yourselves the classy minority as you said you'd contain your schadenfreude to a moderate chuckle.

Enough old ass mobster Jason Morgan chat, onto more important matters!

I admittedly felt weird about the first week of the Bobbie's death storyline. Particularly that it was purposefully lined up with the SEC reveal/Granny War fallout. I wanted to know if you guys felt the same and frankly, a majority of you did:

This was a dramatic choice that was a failure for the most of you. Bobbie's death being conflated with Carly's latest feud left us as an audience feeling icky. Especially paired with moments like Carly throwing Bobbie's death in Nina's face and Drew dancing around threatening violence on Nina.

A majority of you (74.2%) felt it was gross and not the proper way to start the honoring of Bobbie's legacy. What was supposed to be an exploration of grief suddenly became a badly timed Nina pile-on.

Luckily, it was followed by a much stronger second week for Bobbie's memorial that focused on her and set the SEC nonsense to the side. But it was definitely a reminder of all the worst habits of the union writers that have led many of us to lose faith in them to focus on the right things.

Which leads me right into my next, equally serious question. When I asked what the truly most compelling feud on GH is, since most of us can agree it's not Granny Wars, the results were unsurprising. The ongoing feud that keeps a majority of you (53.3%) on the edge of your seat the most is....

THE GH WRITERS VS. CONSISTENTLY STRONG STORYTELLING AND CHARACTERIZATION

And who can be surprised by those results? Nothing has been more unpredictable than tuning into see what new, creative ways the writers will come up with to fumble an easy storytelling win!

In second place, it was a tie of Spencer vs. Spencer (13.3%) and Portia vs. Trina's Adulthood (13.3%). Spencer's chaotic tendency for self-destruction and Portia's disturbing commitment to ruining her relationship with her daughter go hand in hand for you guys.

Third but not least, Trina vs. Demon Spawn (6.7%). Trina's tormentor hid behind a baby for a year which meant that Trina, despite her best efforts, was dragged into beefing with a baby for a year. This is a feud that makes no sense but continues to be pushed by the writers, made all the funnier by demon spawn clearly being a Trina fan.

Speaking of Trina fans, since she is once again being bombarded by marriage allegations, let's get into the divorce poll. So many toxic marriages in PC and they can't all last. I was curious to see who you think is more likely headed for splitsville:

The majority of you are not nearly as optimistic as Nina is. You don't think her and Sonny's marriage will survive the onslaught of the SEC nonsense and the inevitable reunion of the Unholy Trinity (Carly, Sonny, Jason 🤢).

The rest of you (34.5%) think that Portia's toxic marriage that she's somehow kept together through sheer force of will (and regularly manipulative weaponization of Trina), will collapse before Nina and Sonny do. All I can say is, for Trina's sake, I hope you're right.

Speaking of failed marriages, I wanted to know what you guys thought of Ava and Nik's post-attempted manslaughter divorcees dynamic. I have to say, these results amused me the most, cause there are a lot more Nava curious people than I thought (stop hiding behind these polls, live your truth 👀)

A plurality (48.1%) are here for the united-in-toxicity chem that Nik and Ava have going on right now. They were a disaster together, but they kind of miss the disaster, and you kind of love watching how much they miss disaster. As someone who considers Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, I share your "why do I not hate Nava???" dilemma and understand it well.

That said, 22.2% of you are staying strong and remember that Nik had a baby (allegedly) on Queen Ava and believe Ava's pride should override any residual chem. Real, and let's hope Ava agrees with you (🥲).

Oh and the 18.5% of you that are most concerned about Ava getting out of Sonny's house are the smartest ones in the room. None of this will matter if Ava has a front row seat to that Unholy Trinity reunion, we gotta get her outta there!

Onto another amusing result. After another Sprina getaway was announced (the union writers clearly saw us all mock them for losing their crown jewel pairing to temps that outwrote them), I wanted to know how you guys felt about this lil Sprina-centered union vs. temp writers competition. And a majority of you (51.9%) have your priorities in order:

Union, temp, who cares as long as you get more Trina and Spencer fluff. You're Sprina capitalists first and Sprina purists second. You don't really care if this upcoming getaway lives up the NYC hype or writing. Your take on this union vs. temp Sprina competition is this:

But for those of you who do care about this temp vs. union competition, 44.4% of you think the union writers are fighting a losing battle trying to do their own Trina and Spencer getaway. You think the NYC trip was a level of magic that can't be topped, especially because the temps snatched not one, but two key milestones from them. You think the union writers slow-burned too close to the sun and won't be able to top NYC despite their best efforts.

3.7% of you actually do have faith in the union writers to reclaim Sprina as theirs, and I have to say I admire that level of optimism post-stockpile, I really do.

Speaking of audience trust (or lack thereof) in the abilities of the returned writers, I was more than a little frustrated in the way beloved throwback character Lois was written in the SEC story and wanted to know how you guys felt about this regime's brand of sloppily warping history for their agenda:

74.1% of you said "hell no" to the idea of your fave from the past being written by this regime. If the price is that they all of a sudden have to sing Carly's praises, regardless of whatever history they had with her, then you'd rather they stay gone and hold onto your pleasant memories of them (good call). You don't trust these writers to not ruin your faves and considering what they're doing to characters like Lois or even Laura, I can't argue with that.

To be frank, the strike stockpile left the audience and the returned writers on a sour note with each other. While there have been some real positives with their return (Bobbie's memorial week was well done and well-received), there are still a lot of kinks to work out. I was curious about how you felt about their return so far:

43.5% of you felt it was the "same ol crap" from them. No clear improvement, just the usual nonsense.

30.4% of you found their return so far to be so terrible that it made you miss the temps (ngl the weak pov for Trina this week made me miss the temps too).

21.7% of you think the returned writers have come back with interesting story ideas but are executing them badly so far and 4.3% of you agree the ideas are interesting but also think they're executing them well.

So, for the most part, trust in these writers remains low. The vibes are wary and pessimistic with the return of the union writers. Maybe I'll ask this question again in a month or two to see if the union writers prove us wrong and acquire some consistent goodwill. For now, their welcome back isn't exactly warm.

Last but not least, I wanted to know how you guys are feeling about Trina's teased morally gray era in the midst of the endgame of the sociopathic mooch. Moral grayness is its own spectrum, and I wanted to see where you guys wanted Trina to fall on that spectrum, light gray or darker gray?

In a very exciting turn of events, 73.1% of you said that you want Trina vs. Esme to escalate until Trina is forced to kill that pest in self-defense. You don't want Trina to just dabble in moral quandary. You want her to get blood on her hands. You want to see the full extent of the darker side of her heroine traits like protectiveness.

26.9% of you are more protective over Trina's "pure" status and aren't quite as ready to let go of her as a good girl moral compass yet and you'd rather her send Esme to prison with Victor's evidence. A neat little full circle to the Pandora's Box motif that started in the summer. Trina was against the idea of using fake evidence because it was wrong but changes her mind when she sees the system as is won't contain Esme because she has power people backing her (Laura 😔).

Whether you're Team Light Gray Trina or Dark Gray Trina, I think pretty much everyone is ready for our girl to start retaliating because going high hasn't worked out all that well for her.

And so concludes another GH Petty Polls Roundup! You guys were as hilariously and brutally honest as ever in your participation, and I appreciate it. I know everyone isn't as loud in the tag about what they think so I like to see what you quieter ones are thinking. Glad to see you're as messy as the rest of us ❤️

[whentherewerebicycles]

oh i am powerfully grumpy today let me list the reasons why to break their hold over me! and then i will list the substantive good things that will counterbalance the grumpiness.

WHY AM I GRUMPY

didn’t sleep well and got up too early (this, as you will see, is probably the root of all other ills)

was pretty cranky with ruthie at 5am because she wouldn’t poop and wanted to just wander around outside & take a little walk instead. which fine but i was so tired and grumpy already haha. and then i always feel like a CRUEL MONSTER after i have spoken to her a bit sharply because she is a sweet little girl and sometimes you just don’t have to poop ok! also sometimes when i have been short with the dogs i am like oh great this is like a two-second glimpse of the lowest setting of sleep-deprived parenthood i bet i am going to handle that GREAT. (you can see here how i was already in that Mood where your crabbiness starts magnetizing all other free-floating crabbiness in the ether towards it)

got a little cranky on the phone with my mom because it felt like she was taking a liiiittle dig at me about the salary cut i’m taking (i don’t think she intentionally was i was just already kind of grumpy and sensitive) 

i am experiencing some lowgrade anxiety about the HSG test tomorrow, partly because i have read that is going to be moderately painful and partly because i am worried it will reveal bigger problems

my lead just straight up stood me up for a meeting today lol... i was on the teams call for 10 min just waiting and then she didn’t respond to any of my messages so i hung up but can’t really wander away from my laptop in case she calls me back... i’ve been just kinda Over It for a while but man it is annoying when she does stuff like this. also lol she did the thing in a meeting yesterday where i offered to review this tiny inconsequential project real quick with my boss and my lead jumped in to be like “to make the best use of [boss]’s time, i think it’s best if i review the content first to ensure everything looks okay” which is code for “i am going to make one formatting change and then schedule a meeting with our boss without inviting you where i imply that your work was so shoddy i had to make MAJOR changes to salvage it.” i was just like sure girl. whatever. enjoy these last few days of getting to powertrip over me. you are so close to being in my rearview mirror forever.

i only have like 1-2 pointless work projects left before my last day (next friday) but they are so pointless and so hazily defined that working on them plunges me into a deep work despair spiral even though i am SO close to being done with this stupid job. i know i need to just pull myself together and finish them but wow. i hate this.

some IRL friend stuff is making me a little bit irritated and i just need to sit down for a minute at some point and decide if/how i want to react to it. it’s genuinely not a big deal it’s just one of those situations where there have been multiple small annoyances that are not exactly anyone’s fault but cumulatively just make me feel a little put-out. however i am aware that if i’d slept 2 more hours last night i might feel totally different about it so i am just bracketing it today.

phew okay. now WHAT ARE SOME OF THE GENUINELY GOOD & MEANINGFUL THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT ARE FILLING ME WITH A SENSE OF GRATITUDE THAT I GET TO BE ALIVE IN THIS WORLD IN THIS MOMENT?

i wrote for 3+ hours this morning and feel really intrigued by the project... not sure if i have a sense of where it’s going yet but it’s been quite a while since i’ve been in that headspace where you wake up and reach blearily for your phone right away because you’re just HUNGRY to review the writing you did the previous night & start working on the new draft. i am very, very much hoping that a change of job and scenery will jumpstart my creativity a bit... i think it’s just challenging to write when literally nothing is happening in your life. you have all this open unstructured time, which means you don’t value any of the time you have (because if you don’t write in THIS empty moment you can always put it off to the next empty moment!), and then you are just sitting at home not experiencing any social or intellectual stimuli so i feel like you don’t get that “lots of ideas sloshing around in my brain... new encounters triggering new ways of looking at or connecting them... back-burner brain stuff simmering while doing other activities” stuff going. ANYWAY this is all to say it feels good to be writing again & feeling excited about writing whether or not this one sticks. i am just happier when i am engaging in the practice of making things even if i am not finishing things.

part of why i started writing again is that i got two extremely long, detailed, thoughtful comments on my last story from another writer that just made me feel so, so good and creatively energized. all comments are soooo good/valued but i feel like there is something extra special about getting that kind of extremely detailed feedback from a talented writer who picks up on why you did certain things and has a very clear sense of the really, really time-intensive revision and redrafting work that goes into weaving multiple layers into a story. i read the comments yesterday and at first was happy but also kind of in a funk about it - like it was SO nice and affirming to receive them but i have also kind of built that story up in my mind to be the best/most fully realized thing i’ve ever written and can sometimes get down on myself feeling like i’ll never be able to top it or even repeat it. but then i read the comments several more times and started thinking about some of the specific scenes or choices the person was highlighting and just remembering how many times i patiently reworked not-great versions of those scenes to just steadily make them better and more effective. and i was just like okay listen. it just takes hard work and time. i have to put in the hard work. i have to invest the time. i have to give up the fantasy that the first version i write (or the second version or the tenth version) is going to be, or should be, perfect. i’m so proud of that polished final work but to get there i had to really keep the draft shitty and unfinished and patchworked-together and rough around the edges so that i could have the flexibility to rearrange things and torpedo what wasn’t working and generate new ideas through new combinations of rough material. so get over yourself and get to work, you idiot, or you really will never make anything again because you’ll have gotten wrapped up in some fantasy of doing things perfectly the very first time. ANYWAY it was a journey haha but those comments got me moving again and it really made me remember again how much i value being part of a creative community where you get to have that kind of engagement with other readers and writers.

i think it’s going to be a stupidly gorgeous day out! and then a stupidly gorgeous next week or two! soooo nice to have nice weather!! spring is here!!! i scrubbed down the deck last night before bed finally and am now just awaiting the delivery of the outdoor rug and side table.

 i had a really, really good catch-up call yesterday afternoon with a former mentee i worked closely with for a few years in my last job. i thought she was probably reaching out to ask about a letter of rec or something but it turned out that she actually just wanted to tell me about how this project she started years ago with me has continued to grow/evolve and has led to these pretty major institutional changes around making caste a protected class at our university. she was just like, ‘i’ve been thinking about you so much all year because everything we’ve been doing is rooted in the research ethos you taught me in that program. and then it just occurred to me that instead of just thinking about you i could reach out to tell you about how much you shaped this work.’ it was just so good to hear from her and so amazing to hear about this stuff she and her co-organizers have been able to achieve in the last couple years!! it made me feel really good/happy (for her but also obviously it’s just nice when people say nice things about your teaching impact!) and i also feel like it kinda lit a fire under me a little bit... like this past year has been so isolating and i think one thing i’ve missed is the way that students’ passionate commitments push YOU to be more engaged in your own life/community and more awake in your own life. i feel like this student in particular always pushed me to be more honest you know... she’s one of those people who is continuously pursuing difficult, important work because she believes it’s the right thing to do and she knows she has the skillset to do it. so i just want to hold onto that feeling you know... like as i begin to become more involved in the life of a campus community again and more connected to students i just want to keep pushing myself out of this period of isolation and into the world to do meaningful work.

[ricflairdrip20]

Keith Lawson - NSFW Alphabetical

Aftercare - After having sex, he would make sure you feel comfortable and relaxed.

Body - He loves your whole body, it’s hard for him to simply decide. Your favorite body part is his hands. You like the feeling of them running up and down your body and gently gripping you.

Cum - He doesn’t mind ejaculating everywhere. It could be your face, chest, stomach, or even inside you.

Dirty Secret - If Keith has a dirty secret, he is a voyeur. He would definitely likes to be watched by one of his co-workers while you’re both having sex in his office.

Experience - He doesn’t have any experience because he wants it to be with someone he knows he will be with for the rest of his life. But it’s not like he doesn’t know how to do it, because he hears from his peers how they do it.

Favorite Position - He mostly likes missionary, but he also likes it when you switch to the top.

Goofy - He takes sex kinda seriously.

Hair - He doesn’t have any chest hair so he’s bare down there.

Intimacy - He’s a romantic as well, he would hold you close and place gentle kisses on you. Heavy make out sessions too.

Jack Off - He doesn’t do it often, but he only jack off whenever you’re gone and he really needs to get off.

Kink - Overstimulation and daddy kink. He’d also stuff your mouth with his ties whenever you’re having sex in his office.

Location - He loves to do it in the bedroom, but the only public place he would like to do it is in his office.

Motivation - It doesn’t take a lot for him to get into the mood, but it’s a given whenever he came home from a stressful day at work. Or when you’re in the mood and wants him close to you, and/or him seeing you in thigh highs.

No - He will never do anything that you don’t want to do. He is very against causing you pain and discomfort.

Oral - This man loves to eat you out so good, sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout your body as you held his head close to your pussy. Aside to him receiving oral, you weren’t against it, but you were flustered just by thinking about wrapping your hand around his thick shaft and moving your head back and forth.

Pace - He comes in different speeds. He can go slow, as he did the first time with you. He can also go fast as he holds your waist for leverage.

Quickie - He’s not too crazy about quickies because he wants to do it as long as he can, but if he really needs to get off in a short time, then he would.

Risk - He likes the idea of having sex in his office because he’s secretly a voyeur, so he doesn’t mind if anyone comes in and watch.

Stamina - This man can go for hours. He could last all night while he ravish you. Although the pleasure can be overwhelming, you like the feeling of not being able to walk.

Toys - Neither one of you is interested.

Unfair - He is definitely a tease. He’d finger you slowly while his thumb is playing with your clit and he wouldn’t let you orgasm until he says so. His other hand would run down from your chest to your legs.

Volume - He is moderately loud, usually huffing, panting and grunting. You, on the other hand, weren’t loud at first during your first time because you were nervous, but then you get used to making noise.

Wild Card - He loves to see you in black thigh highs, especially after a long day at work.

X-Ray - He is 7.5 inches long and is thick.

Yearning - This man can’t go a week without sex because he simply loves being close to you. The same thing applies to you. After coming home from a long day at work, all he’s looking forward to is getting some.

ZZZ - He is a real gent, so he wants to make sure you are comfortable till you fall asleep before he does.

[venusiangguk]

gold rush pt. 3 | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader

>>genre: pwp, v little plot, smut, kinda fluffy, college au (kinda), established relationship

>>word count: 9.9k um?

>>warnings: pegging!!!, butt stuff!!!, sexy anal!!!, sub jk, soft dom oc, crying why do i always make everyone cry, fingering (m), strap on, dildos, vibrators, sex toys, sex shop adventures, explicit sex, like so explicit this bitch is basically 10k, mutual masturbation, coming untouched, kisses, aftercare in the form of snacks, titty squeezing, dirty talk, excessive use of pet names, yoongi exists

>>notes: i wasn’t gonna write this bc ur girl does not know the first thing about pegging, but jk sucking the strap came to me in a dream and i had to do it. it was highly requested so i hope u like it! i wrote and poorly edited this whole thing today so im sorry for any mistakes !! 

>>summary: jk wants the strap, and jk gets what he wants !!

pt.1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

The sun is shining, and there’s just the perfect amount of breeze to cool Jeongguk as sweat runs down his temple. The soccer pitch just got cut, making the ball much easier to control, and therefore much easier to aim at Jimin’s ass. It’s cool-down time, so the team is in groups of three, idly kicking the ball between each other, for the last few minutes of practice. All in all, a great day to talk about getting pegged with his best friends.

Jeongguk glances around the field, making sure the other groups are far enough away from him and his friends before clearing his throat. “So… do you guys like… get pegged?”

When Taehyung passes the ball to Jimin, Jimin completely misses it due to the fact that he is looking at Jeongguk like he is the most pitiful human on the planet. Jeongguk adjusts his shin guard to avoid the scrutiny.

“Gguk… honey… are you dumb?”

Taehyung’s jogging back after retrieving the ball that ran astray. “No, Mini. He’s straight.” He kicks the ball to Jeongguk. “If by ‘pegged’ you mean fucked in the ass by a real dick, then yeah. We do.”

Jeongguk receives the ball with a ‘rainbow’ and juggles it from his thigh to his laces, balancing the ball for a second before kicking it to Jimin. He nods, contemplative. “Nice.”

“Okay ace.” He passes to Taehyung, before throwing Jeongguk a teasing look. “You thinking about taking it up the ass, Gukkie?”

“Perhaps I’m contemplating.” He sniffs nose in the air.

Taehyung laughs. “Got your button milked once and now you wanna take a phallic shaped object? Proud of you.” He places his hand over his heart, like the mere thought of Jeongguk getting railed makes his heart warm.

A whistle blows, and Jeongguk kicks the ball up to his arm, tucking it into the curve of his trim waist. “Why does everyone call it a button? And it hasn’t only been once.” He sounds exasperated and so so tired.

His friends jog to bump shoulders with him as they make their way to the locker rooms. “Hey, jokes aside, I think it’s cool you’re like comfortable enough, or whatever, with __ to explore the things you like.” Taehyung says.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Okay Dad.”

“No seriously!” Jimin insists, holding the locker room door open for them. Fuck the rest of the team. “She seems good for you. Babys you like you need.” Jimin laughs.

Jeongguk’s shirt gets caught on his head as he squawks. “I don’t just like being babied, fuck you.”

“Okay so she also entertains your sadistic side. She’s the full package.”

Jeongguk looks down with a blush. He shrugs his shoulders lightly before bending over to get out of his gear. “She’s pretty cool I guess.”

Taehyung knees him while he’s still bent over making him stumble a bit. “Awe, Jeonggukkie is in love.”

“Shut up.” Jeongguk smacks him in the face with his smelly sock.

“When you gonna do it?” Jimin asks, buttoning his new pants. 

Apparently they aren’t showering today. Jeongguk will just have to stop at his dorm before heading to yours to help you study. That reminds him that you have a test on Friday, but are free this weekend. He just so happens to be free as well. The team they were supposed to play had to forfeit because their coach got caught sleeping with one of the cheerleaders. Sucks, but good for Jeongguk and his little asshole.

“Maybe this weekend.” With their backpacks on, they start the trek back to the dorms. It’s nearing night now, the sun just starting to set in the sky. Jeongguk pulls out his phone to tell you he’s stopping by his place before heading to you. You reply quickly.

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

okie

wanna have sex instead of helping me study 

me:

yeah but im not gonna 

just think about how good the sex will be when u get an a 

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

🙄

When Jeongguk pockets his phone, Taehyung speaks up.

“You think she’ll be down?”

Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah, probably.”

Ever since the first time you made him cum untouched, butt stuff has been a moderately regular occurrence for you both as a long-term, healthy, pro-ass eating couple. Honestly it was mostly him getting his butt played with, but he supposed it made sense. Like Jimin explained to his once naïve self, it was just biological- or something. Whatever. He wonders if three fingers will be enough to fit a fake dick in his ass. He asks his friends.

“Eh…” Jimin starts, looking up like he’s thinking. “Maybe, but you might wanna try to get to four, maybe five if you're using hers, since she’s tiny.”

Jeongguk’s mouth falls open and he pales. Taehyung notices and laughs.

“Don’t get scared. It’s just better to over-prep than under-prep. And like obviously you work up to it, she’s not just gonna shove her fist or her cock up your ass.”

Her cock. A little tingle settles in Jeongguk’s lower belly at the statement. He’s been thinking about this for a while, looking at porn in his free time. Seeing the way the guys moan on their girls’ strap always gets him hard. Seeing how hard their cocks get when the toy hits them just right. He throbs when he sees the guys cum just from the strap, no hands. Maybe he should fuck you when he gets to your dorm instead of helping you study. His cock is feeling a little plump.

“Alright well… Bye, thanks for being gay and answering my anal questions!”

As he’s pressing the button to his elevator, they lived on opposite sides of the athlete dorm and there were different elevators for each of the wings, Jimin chirps, “Don’t forget to empty your asshole really well, and don’t eat the day of! Also buy extra lube and put a spare blanket down!”

Jeongguk winces. Valuable information indeed, information he mentally pockets, but did he need to yell it in the dorm common room?

“Noted!” He yells back at the elevator dings and opens up. Jeongguk pretends like he doesn’t meet the curious, kind of confused gaze of one of his teammates. He must have walked in while Jimin was yelling and only caught the end of the conversation while waiting for the same elevator. Jeongguk gets in and immediately closes the doors. He can catch the next lift.

~~~

Jeongguk’s got his head in your lap and you’re running your fingers through his long, silky hair. He showered today, so waves of his aromatherapy lavender shampoo are wafting up to you. Sweet boy. He seems sidetracked, occasionally sighing and subtly twisting, but is still more or less purring on your thigh, feet tucked up onto the cushion of the couch. Netflix is on the small tv that was left by the last person who lived there, you’re mac book connected via HDMI. You’re not really paying attention. Mind kind of tired from all the studying you had done this week. Jeongguk fidgets a tiny bit again, wiggling like he’s trying to get comfortable. He huffs a sigh.

“Hey,” You say softly, getting his attention.

His body curves at the waist, causing his t-shirt to bunch up and show off the dip of his hip bone. He looks up at you with wide eyes. He seems surprisingly awake. Must have some busy little bees buzzing around his mind. He makes a little questioning noise.

“You okay? You’re kinda fussy.” You murmur.

He groans. “I-  am just thinking.”

“About?” You drag the word out in a singsong-y manner.

The way Jeongguk’s face flushes is so pretty, you have to stop yourself from cooing. 

He moves himself from your lap and sits facing you. He looks like he's thinking about what to say, or how to say what he’s thinking so hard about. 

Eloquently he states, “I’m horny.”

You glance at his cock. Not quite hard, but a little happy and excited. You chuckle, leaning towards him, giving him a playfully sexy look. “Okay, let’s fuck baby.”

Jeongguk blushes even more, cheeks tinted red, while he leans away from you.

You pout. “What?”

Again he pauses, a small pout on his lips. He seems to be in a soft, needy, difficult mood. You’re probably going to have to pry what he wants to say out of his mouth.

With another uncalled for exasperated huff, Jeongguk rolls his eyes and moves closer to you before catching you by surprise and swinging a leg over your lap. He’s facing you while he straddles your thighs. His arms are looped around your neck, he’s playing with a little bit of your hair, twirling the long length around his fingers. You smile up at him, gently. Your palms squeeze at his narrow hips encouragingly.

“I want to try something new…” He says. He sounds nervous and looks at you the same.

“Mhmm.” You say, fighting a smile. 

“Really bad. Like I want it really bad.” His hips roll, probably unconsciously from the way he closes his eyes to ground himself. 

You peek at his lap, and his cock is bulging, the fabric of his sweatpants doing nothing to help hide it. You bring your hand to it, and massage him through his pants.

He whines and pushes against your palm before a hand comes down and grabs your wrist, stopping the movement. “Quit it, I’m trying to talk.” He’s so petulant and whiny.

You move your hand away and place it back on his hip, giggling a little. “Well spit it out, then.”

He scowls. You reach up and smooth the wrinkle in his brow before trailing it down and cupping his cheek. He softens immediately, melts like butter in your hands. His eyes close and he lets out a soft sigh, body relaxing a little.

He’s whispering, kinda giggling out of embarrassment, when he says, “I want you to fuck me.” He pauses, peeking at you through his lashes. “Like for real.”

Almost instantly a little spark ignites in your belly, and you feel your pussy get that telltale heartbeat. You didn’t want to push Jeongguk into anything, but you’ve been thinking about taking the ‘next step’ with your… ass-plorations for some time. But you figured he would get to the same point on his own, and would come to you when he was ready. Turns out you know him as well as you thought you did.

“Yeah?” You rub your free hand up his side. 

He nods quickly, eagerly. You pinch his cheek lightly, and he retaliates by trying to bite at it. To avoid the attack it finds his way back to his waist.

“When did you want to? Tonight?”

He wiggles impossibly closer to you. Kisses you quick before nodding again. “Yeah. I um. I already like prepped… mostly. I prepped what I could by myself.” He pauses with a cute thinking face. “You will probably have to help me a little. But yeah. I got ready for you just in case.” He nods.

You hum, glancing at the old clock on the wall, another gift from the prior tenant. 11:52 pm. 

“If we hurry, we can make it to a sex shop? They don’t usually close until 2 or 3 in the morning.” You suggest.

Jeongguk bites his lip, smiling excitedly. “Really? Can we?”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Yeah, duh.” You lean up and give him a speedy, but thorough kiss, smiling into it. “Been wanting to peg you for so long.” 

His face scrunches endearingly. “Don’t call it that.”

He hops off your lap, and goes to grab the keys, wasting no time. He stands by the door expectantly. His cock is, extremely obviously, sticking out. Someone didn’t wear his briefs today.

“Can you like… kill that?” You’re laughing as you tug on some sweats of your own, having only been lounging in your panties and one of his shirts. Your usual at home attire.

He looks down, and has a smug grin on his face when he looks at you again. “It’ll go down in the car. Hurry up!”

~~~

A dildo looks so much bigger when one is looking at it knowing that it will be inside of them within the next few hours. And there are so many options and colors. Some vibrate, some have fake pubic hair on them. Some have balls that are squishy and feel eerily… accurate.

Jeongguk isn’t having second thoughts, no. But he is having thoughts. Very overwhelming thoughts. 

You’re next to your boyfriend, glancing between him and the varying selection of fake cocks displayed in front of you both, trying to gauge his reaction. He looks a little pale, but tentatively excited. Curious at the very least.

“Which one do you want?” You ask.

“No idea.” He responds, eyes wide.

Like most store clerks, one shows up, almost like they have a built in ‘customer needs help and has no idea which dildo to get to peg her super hot boyfriend’ radar. 

“You guys need help?” He is a small man, with a monotone voice. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else at 12:30am on a Saturday night. 

“NO!” Jeongguk says quickly and loudly. Very loudly.

Both you and the store clerk flinch, looking at him shocked.

Jeongguk shifts on his feet. “No.” He says in a more socially acceptable tone. “No- I’m sorry. But we’re uh-” He grabs your arm and pulls you closer. “We’re good, thanks.”

The clerk looks between you and Jeongguk and the dildos. “Um… Alright.” He starts to walk away before he turns back around. “Well if you change your mind, I’m Yoongi and I’ll be at the counter. If your toy is electric I’ll test it in the back before you leave… We uh- provide batteries with your purchase if needed…” With one last glance, a very judgmental one in Jeongguk’s opinion, Yoongi takes his place at said counter. His eyes flicker to you guys every once in a while.

“Baby,” You grab Jeongguk’s face between your palms and make him look at you. You squeeze and his lips poke out making him look like a guppy. He blinks. “I know you’re nervous, but it’s going to be okay.”

He rolls his eyes, guppy face and all. “Well obviously. I just- We don’t need help.” He wiggles out of your grip, much like a… guppy.

You grin, trying not to laugh, and just be the supportive girlfriend you are. “Okay, did you decide which one you want?”

A side glance. “Not yet…”

You walk up and go to grab a pink sparkly one.

“Uh, not that one.”

You quirk an eyebrow and move your hand to a larger one.

“No.”

You play a little game of dildo hot or cold until you have a better idea of what Jeongguk wants. His preference seems to be skin tone, close to his own, with a more realistic feel. Normal balls though, not squishy. Also no faux hair. You thank him for that. If you actually had a penis it would surely be waxed. Bless Jeongguk for doing the same. As for size, he leaned more towards a very normal, moderate size. Maybe 5 or 6 inches at most, not too thick. Smaller than himself. One last option.

“Do you want it to vibrate?” You ask, holding one in your hand testing the numerous different settings.

He shakes his head, answering quick. “No.”

He pauses.

“Wait.” He thinks. “Maybe. Should we? You could use it too?” 

Sweet, kind, considerate angel. Always thinking about you and your pleasure. Couples who share the strap last the longest.

You shrug, pointing out, “I could use one that doesn’t vibrate too.”

He looks offended and sounds snotty. “Uh, you don’t need to.”

“Whatever. Why don’t we get both?”

You had a point. He pretends to ponder it, before nodding, already persuaded. “Okay.” 

“We need the harness now.”

You begin the harness hunt, walking through the store, coming across many a things, but for some reason you both keep missing them. They’re nowhere to be found. 

“Maybe they’re sold out?” He tries.

“Doubt it. Let’s go ask.” You grab him by his pinky and try to drag him to the counter. He resists. 

“Let’s not.”

“Koo.” You say giving him a look.

He whines, throwing his head back. Borderline throwing a fit. You hold your ground, smiling.

He’s easy to give in. Being a brat just on principle. “Fine but you’re talking.”

You stand on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Of course, baby.” With his pinky in hand, you make your way to the counter.

The store clerk, Yoongi, if you remember correctly, is sitting behind the counter hunched over smiling at his phone. He doesn’t seem to notice you’re there.

You clear your throat gently, “Excuse me?”

Yoongi jumps, almost throwing his phone. “Fuck!” He exclaims. His fists come up ready to fight before he sees it’s you and Jeongguk. He then places his hand over his heart. “Shit, you scared me.” He chuckles, recovering quickly. “How can I help you?”

You stare at him for a moment longer before speaking up. “Um yeah, I was just wondering where your harnesses are?”

He leans on the counter, head in his hand looking kinda bored. “Hanresses? What kind? Hanging harness? Body harness?”

You glance at Jeongguk and he looks like he’s going to die.

“The um- strap on harnesses?” Your voice goes to a whisper when you say it, despite it just being you guys in the store.

Yoongi sits up, and looks at you, and then looks at Jeongguk. A look of understanding comes over his face along with an amused smile. He nods to himself, while getting up to help you. “Nice. Follow me.”

Jeongguk gapes at the ‘nice’ and looks at you in disbelief. You pat his butt telling him to get going. 

With some help from Yoongi you pick out a harness that looks supportive and comfortable, the ring that holds the dildo, compatible with both the ones that you plan on getting. It’s a simple adjustable black one. Yoongi recommended wearing something under it if the straps dig into you and irritate. He seems bored, but he’s actually very good at his job, and very knowledgeable.  

Finally you’re at the counter. You place all the items in Yoongi’s reach and he’s just about to tell you the total when Jeongguk perks up.

“Wait!” He says before scurrying off.

It’s quiet for a split second. Before the clerk speaks up.

“He’s cute.”

You smile, “Thanks, he’s mine.”

Yoongi laughs, small little fish teeth and gums on display. Must be a Pisces. You know Pisces teeth. “Does he have any cute friends?”

You nod. “Yeah, but they are dating.”

He shrugs. “Don’t care.”

“Uh… I can give you their Instagrams?”

He pulls out his phone, and follows them right there after a quick glance at their pages. Confidence is nice.

There’s a short lull in the conversation. And Jeongguk seems to be taking his sweet time getting something you guys must have forgotten. Or the poor things lost. It’s a big store. You speak up this time.

“Do you have like a manager I could leave a review for? You were really helpful, and seemed like you really knew what you were talking about.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I own the place. You think I would be here on a Saturday night if it wasn’t obligatory? Thanks, though.”

“Oh.” You say. That was pretty impressive. The store was quite successful based on the reviews. You would make sure to let Jimin and Taehyung know Yoongi was a business man.

“Okay, I’m back.” Jeongguk announces. “Sorry I forgot where it was.”

He places 2 (two) large bottles of lube on the counter. You cough out a laugh.

“Baby, we have lube at home.”

“But do we have enough?”

“I think maybe one more would be more than enough.”

He ignores you, looking Yoongi in the eyes for the first time tonight. “Add both please.”

Yoongi nods, looking a little scared of Jeongguk’s seriousness, and does as he’s ordered.

After Jeongguk pays, and you both are making your way to the exit, Yoongi calls out, “Good luck, tell your friends to follow me back!”

“Uh- Okay?” Jeongguk yells back. When you’re in the parking lot, he asks, “What the heck was that about?”

You shake your head, laughing to yourself. “Don’t worry about it.”

~~~

As soon as you get back to your dorm, the atmosphere is thick, full of tension and nervous anticipation. Jeongguk’s fidgety, eager to get started. You’re not far off, but contain yourself a little more. Need to keep control of the situation in case Jeongguk gets deep into his mood.

You guys are in the bathroom now, each one washing a toy before you use it. You make sure to unwrap the harness and the lube as well, both at Jeongguk’s insistent request, ensuring you don’t have to stop and deal with it later. 

“Let’s just get undressed in here, it’s where my hamper is.” You say already tugging your shirt over your head, tits bouncing freely. Jeongguk went without briefs today, and you went without a bra.

Jeongguk quietly follows suit, and you don’t miss the way his hands are trembling a little in anticipation. When you’re both naked he kisses you quickly, and jiggles your boobs a little just because they are there and because he can, before saying, “Okay, lets go.” He’s out the bathroom before you can even respond. You laugh to yourself and gather the stuff he forgot in his excitement.

When you walk out with your hands full, you see Jeongguk spreading out a blanket over your comforter.

“Whatcha doin?” You ask curiously, placing the items on the nightstand.

“Gets messy. Wanna save your bedding.” He states.

You squawk, grabbing the blanket he set up on your bed. “Not my baby blanket you monster.”

He laughs, abs tensing. You notice he’s already hanging a little heavy between his thighs. “Sorry. Was the first one I saw.” He walks over to the couch and replaces the blanket that’s hanging over the back with your baby blanket and resets up. “Better?” he asks, extended his arm towards your bed to show off his work.

You nod, and take the few steps needed to close the space between you both. Your hand runs down his belly, and you feel his muscles jump, and you see little goosebumps sprout all over. His hands come up to cup your tits. You kiss softly where his heart is. You look up at him.

“I love you.” You smile.

He blushes. “Love you.” He whispers, before he leans down and slots your lips together.

It’s eager from the start. Your bodies press together, as your hands roam. When he takes a breath and surges back in, your teeth click together is his haste, before his tongue slips into your mouth. He groans into you, his hand going down to cup your ass, squeezing and pulling you impossibly closer. 

You feel his cock against your belly, almost fully hard already. You reach down to wrap a hand around him, wanting to help him get there before you get started. He hisses, thrusting forward instinctively before pulling away. He looks like he hates that he does.

“No- I,” He’s already short of breath, chest rising and falling a little bit faster than normal. “I wanna watch you cum. With the toy.” He reaches around you, grabbing the vibrating dildo. “Please?” He asks. His eyes are fervent.

You take the toy in your hand, and kiss him again softly. “Yeah, baby. Whatever you. It’s all about you tonight.”

He shakes his head. “Always about you too.” 

Your heart beats, happy in your chest. You thought about it earlier in the night, but Jeongguk really was the best lover. He always, always made sure you were taken care of, before, during, and after sex. He was so vocal and communicative, genuinely wanting you to know it was always about both of you, even if one was receiving more attention. He was caring like that in and out of the bedroom. You were so lucky to be his.

“You’re too good to me,” You laugh, climbing onto the bed. You settle back against your pillows, propping some behind you so you can see him, and watch him while you get off. He takes his place in front of you, looking at you expectantly.

He’s impatient, placing his hands on your knees, spreading you open so he can see your cunt. You let him get you into position before saying, “Keep your hands to yourself now, okay?”

He nods, eyes never leaving your pussy. He licks his lips. “Okay.” It’s said in a distracted kind of far away tone.

You hum as you bring the toy to your mouth, getting it wet. You wouldn’t need any lube, you would be dripping in no time. You don’t waste any time putting your free hand down between your legs and spreading your pussy lips, so your clit and the pretty pink center of your cunt are displayed for Jeongguk. You glance at him through your lashes, when you hear a small gasp fall from his lips. He’s already got a hand around himself. Just the tips of his fingers stroking his length, at a leisurely pace. 

“She’s so pretty… You’re so pretty.” His eye flick to your face before zeroing in on your center again.

“Tell me how to do it baby. Tell me what you want to see.” You say, voice salacious and soft. You circle your finger slowly around your nub, dipping inside just a bit to spread your slick around.

When he swallows, it’s audible, his Adam's apple jumping. “I want you to turn it on low, and put it on your clit. I want you to feel good.”

You smile, and drag the tip of it down your body to just above your clit, turning it on the lowest setting before making contact with your sensitive nub. Your legs jolt, almost closing when you feel the vibrations. Even the lowest setting was strong. Your head falls back, and your legs spread more for him once you get used to the strength of the toy. “Fuck…” You breathe.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, greedy for your pleasure.

You nod, eyes still closed, focusing. You move the vibrator in small circles over your clit. You can hear Jeongguk’s breaths speed up.

“Turn it up.” His voice gives away that he’s speeded up his hand on his cock too.

You do as he says, looking at him as you do. He’s sin personified. He’s on his knees, sitting back on his feet, so his thighs are flexed and bulging. His abs tense when his palm twists under the crown of his cock. His eyes almost look black, pupils blown so wide, lust taking over his face. He’s got his plump bottom lip drawn between his teeth. He looks up from your pussy and catches you staring. He smiles shyly.

You keep your eyes on him as you bring the toy back down to your core. A short high pitched moan falls from your lips, as your brows knit together, before your eyes roll back. He groans, your expression enough to make his cock start to leak.

“Feels so good, Jeongguk.” You moan. The vibrator is right where it feels best, pulsing against your clit, causing pleasure to bleed into your veins. 

“Yeah, baby?” He asks, he’s breathless, sounds like he’s in love. With you, your cunt. “Tell me.”

“‘S just right Koo, could make me cum just like this…” 

He curses, and you open your eyes just in time to see him grip the base of his cock, keeping himself in check. “Not yet, baby. Little longer, please.” Still so polite and good for you, even when he’s the one telling you what to do.

He has you keep the vibe there, for a while longer, right in the spot that’s gonna make you lose it. He watches as a tiny clear drop leaks from you pink little pussy. It looks like it’s heavy and about to drip down to the blanket under you. He doesn’t notice your legs shaking until you’re gasping, “Koo, I’m almost- I’m gonna-”

“No!” He says quickly, his hand reaches out to pull the vibrator from your cunt just before you get your high. Your pussy aches and throbs, wanting to cum so bad. 

Your chest is heaving when you ask, “Are… are you edging me?”

He shakes his head, even though your eyes are closed, trying to catch your breath. “No, no! I just. I got distracted.” He looks at that small drop of slick again. Fuck, he wants to lick it up and drink you down. “You’re leaking.” He states.

You laugh, breathing getting back to normal. “Yeah?” You reach your hand down to collect the distracting little droplet and bring it in front of you. You press the sticky finger to your thumb and then pull them apart to see the clear strings stay connected even as you pull. You hum, before offering your hand to Jeongguk. He sucks in a breath.

“Want some?” 

He’s quick as he crawls between you legs, cock fully hard now. He watches you as he sucks your fingers into his mouth, tongue swirling around getting every last bit, before he sucks off with a pop!

He crawls farther up your body to kiss you deep, wanting you to get a taste of yourself too. He pulls back just a bit, and whispers against your lips, “I want you to fuck yourself with it, okay? Just for a little bit, then you can cum?” He’s phrasing it as a question, knowing he really doesn't have the final say, not tonight. But his voice is shaking from how turned on he is, how could you ever say no?

“Sit back.” Is all you respond. He does as he’s told.

You buzz the toy over your clit again, just because you can. Wanting to see how long Jeongguk can be good before begging. Turns out it’s not long at all. 

“Put it in…” He moans. You look at him and his mouth is parted, and his eyes heavy as he watches you. His hand is moving fast over his cock, sticking straight up to his tummy. “Please.”

You drag the toy down to your slit, and tease it there before just barely pushing it in just a fraction of the length. Jeongguk whines, high and desperate. Apparently you’re moving to slow for him.

“More,” He begs. 

You sigh, “You’re so needy tonight, baby.” He nods, agreeable.

When the toy sinks inside of you all the way to the hilt, you and Jeongguk both moan a quiet, “Fuck.” simultaneously. You’re coherent enough to laugh a little at the jinx, but he seems to barely notice, too focused on watching the toy sink into you, and then come back out to vibrate your clit again. You keep up this teasing pattern, again waiting to be told what to do by him, waiting to see how long he makes it this time.

“Harder, do it harder,” He’s panting. Moaning every word that leaves his lips.

You do as he says, and finally push the toy in at a pace that gets you climbing to being close again. You won’t be able to come like this though, and he knows that. Knows that you can only cum from penetration with him. He leans over and grabs the other toy from the end table, spitting on it and spreading it around until it's covered well.

“Use them both, want you to cum for me.”

With two toys in your hands, one in your cunt, filling you up, and one on your clit, making your legs shake, you do your best to make yourself cum. But it’s not enough. A soft whine falls from your lips, you’re so close, but you need more. More than you can give yourself.

“Faster baby, faster. You’re so close.” He whispers. He got both hands working now too, one stroking and one down tugging on his balls. 

You whimper, “I can’t my arm hurts. It’s tired.”

Immediately he stops pleasing himself and gets right to pleasing you. Your pleasure taking priority. “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll help you baby.”

Jeongguk sits between your legs, and takes over the toy fucking into you, and turns up the one on your clit. With him pushing the toy in at a pace that you couldn’t do yourself, and the other toy vibing your clit incessantly, it takes barely any time at all for you to cum. You were so close already, just needed him to push you over. 

Your legs are shaking and your toes are curling, when you cry out, “Baby, I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it, baby. Wanna watch.” He’s quiet, paying close attention to your body and the reactions he’s helping pull from it. He’s part of the reason why your face looks so pornographic as you finish. He’s part of the reason why your back is arching off of the bed. He’s part of the reason why your toes are curling, and why your legs are shaking, and why your pussy is contracting over the toy he’s still thrusting inside of you, working you through every last second of your orgasm. He reads your body cues, and slows down and pulls it out when you start to come down. You look blissed out, and you bring a hand to your hair and fluff it a little before laughing.

“That was good.” You sigh smiling, and when you look at him an image forms in your head, and you have every intention of making him carry it out.

Right before your eyes, Jeongguk wraps his lips around the toy that is going to be inside of him in just a short while, sucking off your slick. He laps his tongue around it trying to get it all. He’s obscene. 

“Gimme,” You say sitting up with an extended hand. 

He pouts at being interrupted, but does as he’s told. He takes your spot on the bed, and you head to the bathroom, stopping by your dresser on the way.

When you get to the bathroom, you close the door and get to cleaning the toys once again. After, you get to the stuff you grabbed from the wardrobe. A lacy pair of black panties, and sheer black thigh highs with matching lace adorning the tops. You slip into them, and then move on to the strap on. You hold it in front of you and try to make sense of which part goes where, and which holes your legs go into. It takes a second, but you get into it, adjusting it so it's nice and snug. Your outfit probably won’t help much with protecting your thighs, but at least the little part above your pussy will be safe. You look at yourself in the mirror. Not too weird or scary yet. You glance at the dildo on the counter.

It’s not too big so hopefully it’s not too… jarring when you see yourself with it. You get to work, slipping the suction base of the non-vibrating toy into the ring that’s meant to hold it in place. You look at it sticking out from your crotch and take a deep breath before turning to the mirror.

You gasp, before cackling quietly. You knew it was going to be weird. Like you knew. But actually seeing yourself with the whole get up is funny. Right now at least. You know it’s going to be sexy, once you get used to it and into the moment and inside of Jeongguk. You wonder how he’s going to react. Only one way to find out.

While you're walking to your bedroom from the bathroom, the dildo bobs, and you're giggling distractedly until you lift your eyes to let your boyfriend know you're ready. Again you’re met with a scene so indecent it belongs in a porno.

Jeongguk’s eyes are closed and soft moans are falling from his lips as he strokes his cock. He’s got three fingers in his ass, opening himself up for you, for your cock. Such a good good boy. He was so patient and productive while you got ready for him.

“You’re so good baby,” You murmur softly.

Jeongguk blinks his eyes open slowly, and rolls his head to the side to look at you. He doesn’t even falter in his movements at all, hand still moving, fingers still thrusting. He smiles a little when he sees you, but his eyes are hazy and he sounds lust drunk when he simply says, “You look sexy.”

You blush and a fond smile graces your lips, any embarrassment or self consciousness you were feeling prior to seeing him spread out for you on your bed, quickly vanishing.

You settle on the bed between his legs and watch for a moment as his hole takes his long fingers in. “Want me to help?” You ask quietly.

“Mhmm,” He nods, eyes closed still, tongue peeking out from between his lips. He doesn’t take his fingers out, though.

You grab the lube next to him, and flip it open. “You gonna get out so I can get in?” 

He shakes his head. “Nuh uh. Put one in with mine.”

Something about that makes your body tingle. Inside of him with him. Opening him up. You can’t explain it, because you don’t really even get it yourself, but it makes you buzz and feel almost high.

You slick up your middle finger, and drizzle some more on his for good measure. He jumps slightly, and then giggles softly.

“Cold.” He says.

“Sorry,” You say distractedly. Your finger is lined up with his now.

“I’ve never done 4 before so you… have to go slow…” He pauses as he speaks, letting himself moan freely when his fingers graze over that secret spot that he’s grown to love so much.

“Tell me to stop if you need to.”

He doesn’t reply, just stops his fingers so you can wiggle yours in next to his. At the first push against his hole, there’s resistance. Very much expected. He’s quiet, teeth gritted, but he never says stop, knowing his body wants it, and knowing it will accommodate what he wants. After the second knuckle, your finger sinks in, almost gets sucked in, by his hole.

He lets out a shaky breath.

“You okay, baby?” You check in.

“Yeah just… full.” He moans when you wiggle your finger experimentally. “”S good. Move it some more.”

You do, and his start to move with yours. You can feel his fingers curl inside of himself to reach his prostate, and it’s pleasant in an out of body way, knowing when his face is going to contort in pleasure, and when he’s going to cry out, when you never really knew before. You’ve milked him before, of course, but feeling him do it to himself from the inside? It’s kind of thrilling.

“Pull, stretch me out.” He moans, voice impatient and needy.

He gets kinda slutty when something’s up his ass.

He swears when you do, his finger rubbing insistent circles on his prostate to distract himself from the minor sting of the stretch. His moans, start to raise in pitch and his hand that’s on his cock, still jerking it, starts to speed up. You can tell he’s close. He clenches against your finger that’s still stretching him open.

“Fuck,” He says, on a breathless giggle, “Take them out. Or I’m gonna cum.” He’s still stroking his cock, like he doesn’t wanna stop.

“You c-” 

“No. Out.” He demands, hand finally pulling away from his cock, and his fingers inside stop. You gently ease out of him.

When Jeongguk’s fingers slip out, you gasp. His little pink hole is clenching on nothing, still open just the tiniest bit, thoroughly stretched.

“You know how you always say my pussy is pretty?” You ask, fingers tracing around the puffy stretched rim.

He makes an affirmative noise, watching you with hooded, lazy eyes as you touch him. He even spreads farther so you can touch and see better. You marvel at the difference between the embarrassed boy you made cum untouched a couple months ago, and the one in front of you now, so comfortable and relaxed. It makes you happy.

“Well, your butthole is pretty.”

He snorts, and kicks you lightly. He smiles at you, soft and sluggish. “Just fuck me.” 

He sounds so wistful and just ready.

But you’re not.

You grip the base of your cock, and stand up. You walk to the head of the bed, next to his confused face. You stay there waiting for him to get it. He doesn’t.

“You want me inside of you right baby?” You ask, voice gentle.

He nods, eyes no longer hazy, but wide and confused. He looks between you and your cock.

“I think that means you have to get me ready. Get me nice and wet, right?”

You can physically see when Jeongguk gets it. When it clicks for him. His eyes darken, and he licks his lips. “Yeah… You’re right. I should… help you.” He whispers, sitting up. You back up enough for him to have a place on the floor.

Jeongguk on his knees for you isn’t a new sight. He’s eaten your pussy like this before, you either grinding onto his face, or him holding you still and making quick work of your clit. But Jeongguk on his knees for you to suck your cock? New, and lewd. 

He looks nervous, kind of hesitant. A hand is raised midway, like he isn't sure if he should grab it. 

“Lick it, baby.” You encourage.

He glances at you, doe eyes seeking approval as he leans forward and gives a kitten lick to the tip. You nod, letting him know he’s doing well. His hand comes up and replaces yours at the base and he opens his mouth enough to wrap his lips around the head, and he swirls his tongue.

He pops off, and strokes up to where his mouth was and spreads the little bit of spit. The silicone is still dry though, so he spits on it more, straight from his mouth. You suck in a breath.

“Fuck, you’re so hot baby.” You whisper a breathy moan as his hands move up and down your cock. He adds his mouth again.

He hums a little, before backing up and looking at you again. “Does that feel good?” He asks.

You laugh lightly, in pure awe of him. He’s so sexy, and so sweet, and so incredibly lust inducing. Your pussy aches behind your cock. “Feels so good, baby. You’re doing so good.”

He hums, still stroking you off. “I really want it inside me…” He says, hinting that he’s ready.

You have mercy on him, having fulfilled your newfound personal fantasy enough for the night. Maybe you could revisit it another time. But now it was time to fulfill a mutual fantasy.

“On the bed, hands and knees.” You tell him.

Excitedly he hops back onto the bed, and gets into position, his hole on display for you. His back is arched and you can see the plush swell where his lower back meets the top of his cheeks. You settle behind him, and his shoulder to waist to hip ratio, is sinful. He’s always had the daintiest waist, strong, but still so small. But at this angle, it’s cinched and the way his legs are spread makes his hips look wider, accentuating the dip at his middle. You rub your hands over the narrow curve, all the way to his cheeks, grabbing handfuls of the muscle. There’s a slight give when you squeeze your hands.

Jeongguk’s head drops, and he lets out a shuddering sigh, he’s got the chills again, and he’s got a constant thrum coursing through his body. “Please…” He moans, so quietly, so desperately.

You kiss the small of his back before grabbing the lube left abandoned on the bed. You lather 2 of your fingers, and push them into Jeongguk’s hole making sure he’s nice and slick. There’s no resistance at all, hole loose and ready enough for them to slip right in. Then you lather your cock, probably with too much lube, honestly, but you wanted to be so sure that he didn’t feel any more pain than absolutely necessary. You knew the first initial push in would be the worst, but you were hopeful you both had stretched him out enough to at least minimize or diminish it altogether. 

You grab the base of your cock and line it up with his hole. It flutters, when you barely press against his rim.

“Ready?” You ask, giving a heads up.

“Yeah.” He says softly.

He’s tight. His hole sinks in with the tip of your cock before the rim gives and swallows around it. Jeongguk tenses and his hands grip the blanket under you. 

“Shit…” He groans. He sounds like he’s clenching his teeth.

You rub soothingly at his lower back, fingers dipping when you run them over the dimples at the bottom of his spine. “You’re doing so good baby.” You tell him.

“Doesn’t really hurt, I’m just stretching.” He says through his teeth. “I can take it though, keep going.”

You grab the lube and drizzle more directly onto his hole. He doesn’t mention the cold this time, too focused on taking your cock. You push against him, and feel yourself sink deeper into him. It’s like after the tip was in, his body knew what to do to take the rest. The slide wasn’t a swift, fast stroke, but it was a smooth and slow glide. When you bottom out Jeongguk’s arms give out from under him, his face going to the bed. 

“Holy fuck.” He keens, resting his head on his arms. Your hands are constantly on him, soothing him in any way that you can.

“Tell me when.” You whisper patiently. He nods. With his head turned to the side and pillowed on his arms, you can see his eyes are squeezed shut. The inhales and exhales you can see in the expanding of his ribcage, tell you that he’s taking deep breaths working through the stretch, getting himself used to it.

“Okay… Ready.” He murmurs.

You pull out just a bit before pushing back in. Jeongguk moans softly. Spreads his legs even wider, arches his back even deeper. He’s pushing his ass out for you, his body begging you to make it feel good.

You keep a slow pace, kind of nervous to speed up. 

“You can go faster, feels nice.” He says. He’s been puffing out little gasps of air every time you bottom out with your slow pace.

With his consent, you grab at his hips and pull out to just the tip, before swiftly pushing back in, fast and hard. His cheeks bounce on the impact. You grab one and jiggle it a little, thrusting into him again, drinking down the whines that slip out.

“You’ve got such a bubble butt, I never noticed before. But it like… bounces.” You say, wonder in your tone. 

“Thanks, can you like tell me about it later?” He asks, voice strained.

Point taken. 

Your thrust game is kind of shitty, in reality. It’s hard to find a rhythm, your hips not used to moving this way. But Jeongguk is moaning freely underneath you, just happy to have something inside of him after thinking about it all week. So you keep going, and eventually, the pattern comes to you, still kind of messy, but now you’ve got him cursing beneath you. You’ve got one hand on his ass, the other braced on his arched spine.

A particularly good thrust has Jeongguk burying his face into the bed, teeth biting at the bedding. “Yeah fuck-” He groans with his mouth full of blanket. With his hands now free, he brings them behind him and settles them on his cheeks and spreads.

You watch clearly as your cock sinks into Jeongguk’s ass. You’re out of breath, but you make sure to tell him how good he looks, how pretty his hole looks swallowing your cock, like it was made to take it.

“Wanna ride you.” He says. His voice is pitifully wrecked and he sounds so thoroughly fucked, you feel a little proud. Still, you’re grateful for a break. You don’t know how he fucks you like he does. ‘Topping’ is tiring. You pull out of him, and realize that when you were in awe of his hole at taking your fingers, it was premature. Jeongguk’s hole after he takes your cock is vulgar. It’s properly gaped now. Not huge, but around a fingers width.

He rolls over, and settles on his back like he just needs a moment. His chest is heaving, similar to yours. You hop off the bed, and a needy keen comes from him. You glance back at him, and he looks like he’s going to get up and follow you, but you hush him gently.

“I’m just getting some water, baby. I’ll be right back.” 

He huffs flopping back onto his back. “Hurry please.” He whines.

You get back as soon as possible with a glass of water for you both to share. He sits up onto one elbow and makes a grabby hand for the cup after you’ve had your share. You swat his hand away and hold the cup to his lips. He hums, gulping the water down. He’s happy to be coddled and taken care of. When he finishes with a cute little gasp, you place the cup to the side, and brush your hand through his sweaty hair. 

He butts his head against your palm and laughs. His eyes shut, and crinkled at the corners. His water break seems to have perked him up. His cock hasn’t deflated one bit. Rock hard and red, throbbing against his tummy. It’s messy and wet too.

You’re about to ask if he touched himself while you were inside of him, but before you can, you’re getting manhandled until he’s on top of you. He’s got your hands pinned above your head, and he smiles at you playfully, before leaning down to kiss you, deep and slow. He sucks on your lip, and slowly grinds his cock onto your belly, soft whines spilling from his tongue. He brushes his nose against yours as he sighs into your mouth, finally allowing himself the pleasure of paying attention to his cock. 

He doesn’t allow himself relief for long, however. He’s sitting up and looking from side to side for the lube before finally spotting it. His movements are quick and hectic, like he’s too excited and overly eager.

You rub your hands over his strong thighs. “Hey, slow down. You don’t have to rush. We have all night.”

He sighs at your touch, and nods softly. He whispers. “Yeah… okay. I love you.”

The little affection makes you swoon, absolutely smitten. “I love you.” You squeeze at his legs, tenderly.

He hums. “Gonna ride you now.” He opens the lube and continues with eager actions, almost like you didn’t even slow him down just a moment ago. You smile fondly to yourself. Jeongguk’s too busy slicking up your cock again to notice the mushy look.

He’s got a hand reaching behind him and he’s gripping your cock to line it up with his hole. He wiggles to get into the right position before slowly starting to sink down. His eyebrows are pinched, and his mouth falls open. But his eyes roll back when he bottoms out. His hands are braced on your stomach.

“Oh, I love it like this.” He whimpers. His legs tense at your sides, almost like he’s trying to close his legs at the pleasure he feels from your cock being tucked inside of him, hitting all the right places. He starts to grind on your cock, soft pleasured little mewls just tumbling off his tongue.

He looks so good, whining, grinding on you with his weeping cock displayed. But you wanna see him lose it on your cock. See him fall apart at how good it feels, not watch him bask in it.

“Bounce on it.” You say, voice sounding almost as fucked out as his. You know your panties are soaked through at this point, pussy pulsing and neglected, tucked away behind the strap.

Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, wanna.” 

He’s lifting himself off your cock to the tip before sliding down on it again, hard and fast. It punches a sharp gasp from his lungs. He finds a pace he likes and keeps it up, his thighs tensing, and his abs flexing as he tests his stamina, chasing that euphoric feeling he wants so so badly. He’s so strong and fit, bouncing up and down on your cock as loud unabashed moans fill the room. 

The force of him riding you makes your tits jiggle, bouncing around until they catch his attention. He groans before his hands find them, squeezing hard, using them as leverage as he pulls and drags his hips over yours. Your cock must be rubbing over his prostate because he’s losing his mind. All kinds of noises leave his mouth, and the expressions he makes are filthy.

“Fuck baby. You make me feel so good. The best- I-” He eyes squeeze shut and his mouth opens in a silent moan, overwhelmed, before a guttural groan sounds from deep within his chest. “God. Wanna cum on your cock, baby. Fuck me-”

You laugh, wonderstruck, and kind of deliriously high on the satisfaction and fulfillment you get from seeing Jeongguk feel so just…. Good. “Yeah baby? You’re gonna cum for me? All over my cock?”

He whimpers and nods as he gets back to bouncing, a desperation to his movements that wasn’t there before. His cock is slapping against both of your stomachs with nasty wet noises due to his precum getting everywhere. You feel some fly and hit your neck, his cock just dripping, weeping and begging to cum. 

It won’t be long though, before he cums. You feel the way his thighs tense, and he gets that confused look on his face, and he’s got that puzzled pitch to his moans. It’s the way he always gets when he cums untouched, always in awe that he can do it himself, without a hand around his cock. His whole body is flushed and hot to the touch, sweat making him glow in the soft light of your bedroom lamp.

He throws his head back, neck extended, and veins bulging, before looking down at his bouncing cock. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He’s so whiny and noisy when he moans.

“Yeah?” You ask again, “Do it baby, show me how. You can do it, cum for me.” 

He’s nodding frantically, “Yeah- I’m gonna... Fuck, yes- Yeah, I’m-” He bounces a few more times, silent aside from the obscene squelching noises of your skin meeting, before his body tenses one last time before that string in him snaps. “Cumming-” He chokes it out. His moans don’t stop the whole time his cock shoots out his load, landing on your tummy. The moans even turn into cries, actual tears filling his eyes and falling down his cheeks. His body jerks and twitches with his orgasm. But still, he’s grinding on you, your cock still rubbing that spot inside of him, it’s like he never wants the feeling to end, even if it’s devastating, bordering on too much to handle.

You smooth your hands all over his sweaty body, before firmly placing them on his hips, stopping him. “Hey. You’re good, you did so good baby, you don’t have to keep going.”

Jeongguk’s cries are quiet, and he takes a few deep stuttering breaths to try and calm himself down, nodding with your soothing words. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, trying to dry them. It doesn’t help much, he’s calmed himself some but a few silent tears still make their way out, along with some soft hiccupping breaths.

“Lay down, and wait for me, hmm?” You whisper gently. He nods and lifts himself slowly, wincing at the sore ache in his hole. It’s more prevalent now that the pleasure has subsided. He all but collapses onto your pillow. 

“I’m gonna get some more water, and a towel okay?”

He grunts in response.

Before you go, you strip out of the gear, just tossing it on the ground, eager to get back to Jeongguk after getting the things you need.

When you get back, he is in the same exact position, and you laugh lightly. 

“Baby?” You ask, making sure he didn’t fall asleep.

Another grunt.

Good, he would hate you in the morning if you left him to sleep being so messy.

“Sit up, I have water and snacks and cleaning supplies.”

His head pops up. “Snacks?” His hair is sticking up on one side.

You laugh, endeared. He’s not crying anymore either, a good sign that he will be okay in just a little while after some kisses and love.

“Yeah, I got some of those seaweed chips you like, and some water.”

He sits up, leaning back on the pillows knowing the drill for after butt stuff. You hand him the water and the chips. He eats first.

“You hungry?” You ask, fitting yourself between his legs with the warm washcloth. He opens easily, munching away. You both are far past after sex shyness.

He talks with his mouth full. “Yeah. Jimin said not to eat the day off.”

You hum curiously, but don’t question it. Jimin partakes in butt stuff much more than you both. 

You’ve got all the lube cleaned off his thighs and cheeks, now all that’s left is his hole. You do it as gently as you can, knowing he’s sore just from how red and swollen and puffy it is.  But he still winces.

“How bad is it?” He mumbles.

You hesitate. “Um… You’re gonna be a little sore.” You tell him simply.

He groans, before downing his water. When he’s done, he says, “Practice is going to suck.”

You nod in agreement. It was. You wrap the used cloth in the blanket you used to protect your sheets, once again just tossing the bundle to the floor.

“Worth it though,” He smiles, pleased.

You chuckle as you find your place by him. He’s set his refreshments aside and lets you curl against him. His body sags with exhaustion when he feels your warmth press into him. You plant kisses on every inch of skin you can reach. He purrs.

“Why’d you keep going?” You ask, between smooches.

“I don’t know… it just felt so good. I guess I didn’t want it to stop.” He’s quiet, and his words are said on a sigh.

You nod, your kisses making your way to his lips. You just kiss him, slow and easy, for a few minutes until he yawns into it. He giggles.

“I’m so tired man.”

“I bet man.” You tease.

He kisses you one more time before asking, “Will you tickle my back until I fall asleep?” It’s hopeful and so sugary sweet.

“Yeah roll over.”

It’s barely a few minutes before you're met with his soft snores. You kiss his shoulder blade, before following right behind him.

~~~~

you ask for pegging and you shall receive :] i hope you liked it and that it met ur pegging standards askdkhjd as always, comments and feedback and asks and notes are loved and appreciated. thank you for reading friends ily :* 

[barry-j-blupjeans]

19 or 26 with barry and the birds? sorry for sending so many

26. hahaha no worries, it's not my blood

((no longer accepting but you can find these prompts here!))

--

Barry was in a strangely good mood as he staggered back into the Starblaster. It had been... what? Three months? Three and a half? It had been a while out there. Being kidnapped halfway through a mission was definitely not the way he wanted to spend this cycle but it wasn't awful. Like, Barry's been kidnapped before, but at least these people had the decency to give him water every once and a while. Overall, not a bad stay. Six-point-five out of ten stars.

Actually, maybe seven stars, because he had the Light and he was only moderately wounded. If you didn't count the emotional stuff.

But he was in a good mood nonetheless.

There were low voices talking from the kitchen area and he caught a draft of a very nice smell. Barry's stomach rumbled. He'd been eating the bare minimum for the past few months, so he was real excited to finally get some proper food in him.

"Uh, hey," Barry said, stepping into the kitchen. They were eating dinner, hell yeah. Even more of a hell yeah with the fact that they were all still alive. They stared at him. Magnus dropped his fork. "I, uh, I got the Light?"

"Oh my god," Davenport said.

"Yeah, I know it's-"

"Holy shit!" Lup said, flinging herself out of her chair. Barry stumbled slightly at the force that she threw herself at him. He laughed, only feeling slightly bruised as Lup hugged him. She pulled back, cupping his face in her hands. She looked tearful. "Barry, babe, how- I thought you died!"

"Sorry to disappoint," Barry said and she squeezed his face a little harder, shaking her head. Before she could respond, Magnus came and swooped them both up into a hug. Barry laughed again. And then there was Taako on the right, and Lucretia, and Merle, and Davenport, holy shit, he had missed everyone so much.

"Put 'em down!" Merle said. "You're not the only one who missed him, Mags!"

"Sorry," Magnus said, not sounding sorry at all. Very gently, he placed Barry back on the floor. Merle gave him a half-hug around the waist.

"Do you need like..." Lucretia grimaced, looking him up and down. "Medical attention, or like, uh. Clean clothes?"

Barry looked down at his shirt. It was extremely bloody. He had forgotten about that.

"Oh, don't worry," he said. "It's not my blood."

"I mean, that's- that's good," Lucretia laughed. "But you are kinda, uhm..."

"Gross," Taako offered. He gingerly patted Barry's shoulder and then wiped his hand off on Lup's jacket. "And sweaty."

"Very sweaty," Lup agreed.

"That's- that's fair," Barry said, not really caring at all, because he was back and Lup was here and he was alive and- "I should shower." His stomach rumbled again. "And eat probably."

"Go shower," Davenport said. "Please. We'll save you some."

"Right," Barry said. He held up the Light. "Someone should... do something with this."

"I'll put it in the lab," Lup said, taking it from him. With her free hand, she pulled him into another hug. Barry rested his face against her shoulder. "Be quick, okay? I don't want your food to get cold."

"I'll be as quick as I can," Barry said. Lup pulled back and he caught her hand, squeezing. "Missed you."

"Gross," Taako butted in again.

"Missed you too," Lup said.

[three--rings]

Alice in Borderland (2020) Review/Thoughts

So I’ve just finished watching S1 of this Netflix/Japanese drama and, well I’m going to talk about it.  I’m not going to spoil anything major, but I’ll be talking about my feelings about the show, etc.

The premise is once again, like Squid Game, part of one of my favorite tropes: The Deadly Game (which I guess is the official TVTropes name for it, so I’ll just go with that.)  Our hapless protagonist is pulled into a strange reality where everyone is forced to participate in games to win more days of life.  So yeah, I’ve been really in the mood for this trope since Squid Game and that’s how I ended up here.

First of all, let’s get some trigger warnings out of the way.  Because this show has a LOT of them.  If you have issues with dark, violent content, this is not the show for you.  Every episode features a good amount of violence and death and moderate gore.  Like, a good amount of blood, people getting injured, but nothing really GROSS.  I can’t take heavy gore myself and didn’t have a problem with that aspect of this series, but it’s kinda...IDK Tarantino levels of violence.

It’s definitely a horror series, much more so than something like Squid Game, IMO.  Heavy on the psychological horror, which is my preferred type, so, this is why I showed up.  It’s got quite a lot of HEART-WRENCHING sadness to it, too.  Like, if you like tragedy and being emotionally compromised, I recommend it.  I absolutely couldn’t binge this series because I needed a significant BREAK a couple of times. 

Other less general triggers: one scene of (pretty lengthy) attempted rape, suicide and suicidal ideation, death of friends, depictions of transphobia and mass shootings.  (Seriously there’s a lengthy bit of mass shooting situation that is fucking EERILY similar to school shooting events and I’m sure that was intentional, but fuck....yeah.) 

One thing I personally was sorta dreading throughout was that there would be some sort of Saw or Seven-esque torture scenarios where people would be forced to harm themselves or each other, and thankfully there was NOT.  The show (and presumably the manga) seems to veer pretty decidedly towards the psychological and away from the physical.  Even the games that seem the most physical end up having sorta intellectual or psychological solutions.

So, okay, one of the differences in this show (and again manga, which I’m going to stop saying from now on) from other works in this micro-genre that I’ve read is that the situation is far more mysterious.  Usually people are abducted by some group/person and taken to some closed off location where things play out, but in this one, loser gamer Arisu and his two loser best friends are in the middle of Harajuku and then suddenly everyone else is gone and there’s no electricity and they are alone in an empty world.  The only place they encounter other people (at least at first) are in the game arenas, parts of Tokyo that light up at night to attract players. 

So rather than clearly being the act of other humans, this is already beyond the level of believably.  Everyone in Tokyo does not disappear due to act of humans.  So what is going on?  Is this somehow supernatural?  Metaphysical? Aliens?  Virtual Reality?  It’s clearly SOMETHING, but there’s not a lot of indication as to WHAT. 

And the tone for most of the season is...well, pretty fucking bleak.  I got the sense early on that this might be a show without much of a message.  That this might just be spectacle.  And while I found it compelling, and the games incredibly tense, I wasn’t sure I was going to end up LIKING it a huge amount. 

To contrast it with Squid Game, which I’m assuming most humans have seen by now, that show has a clear point of view and Thesis from the beginning.  It lets us know by episode two what the main point is going to be: “No matter how bad this game looks, the real world is just as cruel to the downtrodden.” 

On the other hand, I didn’t see a point in Alice in Borderland at first.  Other than, perhaps, nihilism.  Humans can be monsters, humans will do anything to survive.  Which isn’t, I suppose, a useless point.  But it’s not one that I thought would end up being super satisfying to me as a viewer.

But I have to say that I was fairly wrong.  And I found that the show gains more meaning as it goes on.  There’s still definitely a LOT about the will to survive and sorta taking a practical, survival-oriented approach to life.  And a look at the value of that clenched-teeth pushing past a point of wanting to die.  I mean, very much this first season is about Arisu figuring out whether he wants to survive at all and WHY he might want to do so.  What the point of survival might be.

And ultimately, I feel like the season does land really well, with a thematic tying together that works nicely. 

Plus, as to the central mystery, there’s a really well-done amount of development where more and more little pieces of information about how this world works are received, without REALLY revealing much about the basic underlying WHY of it all.  It sets up a season 2 (coming in 2022??) really well.

It left me interested enough to know What Happens that...I may be on vol 3 of the manga right now.  To compare the two...they are fairly close.  The first game is different, and some of the character backgrounds are slightly different.  For one they aged up the characters to be early 20s instead of high school students (thankfully because...some of the shit is even more disturbing if these are kids.)  There’s some blatant fanservice/sexism taken away (because it’s a manga from 2010 sigh...) and they made good choices like NOT having the main female character be in a school girl uniform the whole time.  Otherwise it seems a fairly faithful adaptation, though I’ve barely dug into the story.

And one thing that I mentioned in the triggers and want to elaborate on: this show has probably the most positive trans rep and most sensitive depiction I’ve seen in Japanese media so far?  Going into further detail would really be spoiler territory, but I’ll just say I was impressed.  The transphobia is via a flashback backstory and it’s pretty harsh, but it is brief and is used as character motivation in a way that felt sympathetic.  I’m not trans and not an expert on Japanese trans rep, but this sidestepped the typical unfortunate tropes I’ve seen in the past. 

So anyway, IF this sounds like your kind of thing I recommend it.  It’s definitely not going to be for everyone, but it’s absolutely worth a watch if you’re intrigued. It’s well made, with good acting and good writing/pacing/directing.   It’s really living in my head the last couple days...

[lampmeeting]

F L O Y any pairings you want!!!! I’m so happy you quit!!!??

ME TOO i had such a nice day hahaha :') thank you!

any pairings i want huh?? oh boy let's put this under a cut hehe

(abigaar, magnate, chickles and nategaar)

"F" for fake dating - ABIGAAR :3c

tyr and skwisgaar keep in touch, and aww he's such a sweet dad figure. always wanting to know about skwisgaar's upcoming "concerts" and prying cutely for information about anyone skwisgaar's involved in ("saws you on reds carpets with a pretty blondes girl. you dates her? brings her to swedens, i cooks dinner!") it's nice, but skwisgaar for some reason doesn't have the heart to tell tyr that he doesn't exactly DO dating, so he puts him off and puts him off.

this gets more pressing after doomstar. skwisgaar starts feeling the guilt for avoiding visiting the man who's been trying to make a real fatherly effort for the last couple years. but he doesn't have anyone in mind to bring "home" to tyr's house. groupies aren't exactly an appropriate choice, he decides. but he tells tyr he'll come to visit with his girlfriend.

enter abigail. in charles' absence, she stepped in to manage the band ("just for the time being. it's not permanent." but she's not exactly actively helping them look for another candidate. as much as she wants nothing more to do with dethklok after the whole kidnapping thing, she can't seem to shake the feeling that she's meant to be there with them right now, that her continued presence in their lives is important somehow)

she notices skwisgaar seems distracted, off his game, and after a weirdly ungood practice session, she takes him aside to ask if he's all right. skwisgaar's never been great at being aloof around her, she cuts through his bullshit so fast, so he just admits it - tyr wants to meet his nonexistent girlfriend, and he doesn't know what to do. "needs to finds someone whats ams, y'know, classy. preskentsable. a nice girls."

abigail's listening to him intently. she's dressed in a classy blouse and pencil skirt, the jewel of her necklace resting below the dip in her collar. she looks very...presentable, doesn't she? skwisgaar swallows. and abigail is very nice...

"someones...smarts. goods to talks to, likes how we ams talkings rights now, evens."

abigail tilts her head at him curiously.

"maybes, uhhms...someones whats has beautifuls brown hairs? and ams nameds...aaabigaaaails...?"

she snorts a laugh into her hand. well, she has been desperately needing a vacation, and she knows skwisgaar won't try anything untoward... what could go wrong?

(this can also blend into Bed Sharing when they arrive in sweden and realize that tyr has put "the lovebirds" up in his guest bedroom...with only one bed)

--

"L" for Love at First Sight - MAGNATE

pre-preklok. magnus is (or, err, was) a moderately well-known local musician in phoenix. at 34 years old, though, he's kinda worn out his welcome. he never made it big, he's bounced between a dozen bands over the last 15 years, and now there are cooler, younger musicians coming up in the scene and man magnus just feels so old and bitter. maybe he should just give up music. what has it ever done for him except lead him to heartbreak after heartbreak (professional and personal)?

he goes out one night by himself. there's this new death metal band he's been hearing rumblings about. apparently the lead vocalist is like ten years younger than him and is definitely gonna be Somebody someday, and magnus is in a mood to drink and feel real fucking sorry for himself.

the opening band sucks, but then Abyssal Carcass takes the stage and the vocalist is broad-shouldered with long, silky black hair pooling over his shoulders and obscuring his face. he holds the mic in a massive fist, and when the first song starts and he opens his mouth to roar, magnus' heart nearly forgets how to beat. he's enchanted. that voice is so unlike anything he's ever heard before...he wants it. he wants it for himself. he wants to write songs for that voice. he wants to hear that voice in his ear, saying his name.

he doesn't see the man's face until after the second song when the vocalist finally stands up to his full height and rakes his hair back with a lift of his beefy arm. chiseled features, strong jaw, green eyes. magnus doesn't know if this is love or lust, maybe it's both, maybe it's jealousy, maybe he's just a sad old man wanting what he can't have.

after the show, magnus is visibly drunk and hangs around to catch the band before they leave. the vocalist sees him, and oh shit, he recognizes him. "oh shit, you're magnus hammersmith, right? from witch visions?"

"and servitor. and alchemical castration. and..." magnus blanks. too drunk. "...others, i presume."

the vocalist laughs deep and warm in his chest, and fuck... yup. magnus has it bad already.

"hey, ditch your band tonight. let's get outta here, you and me." magnus slings an arm around the guy's huge shoulders. "tell me your name again, bud?"

"oh, uh, nathan."

"nathan! nathan. lemme buy you a beer, nathan. i got a little business proposition for you."

--

"O" is for Opposites Attract - CHICKLES

preklok! charles gets a call from a near-hysterical toki in the middle of the night that pickles has been in an accident. clipped by a car while trying to jaywalk downtown, and now he's in the hospital having emergency surgery on a fractured leg. this is about a year after charles starts working for them, maybe just a few months after magnus' departure and toki's hiring, so everything's felt really stressful and up in the air, and NOW THIS.

charles of course gets dressed and races to the hospital to make sure pickles is being taken care of properly (no other reason, he's simply concerned for his client). pickles gets out of surgery, he's busted up real bad but he'll heal just fine the doctors say as long as he rests properly and keeps off his feet. easier said than done when it comes to pickles, and just a few days later charles swings by the apartment to see, to his horror, that pickles has drugged himself up and is trying to "walk it off" and still practice drums with the full kit. the others, it seems, are perfectly fine with pickles' attempts to do this.

in the interest of the band's future, pickles' leg needs to heal properly. he needs rest, relaxation, healthy meals. so charles does the only thing he can think of that will keep pickles safe from himself: he invites pickles to stay with him until he recovers.

of course pickles makes a terribly messy roommate and complains every step of the way, and charles is strict almost beyond reason. they end up getting into a huge argument about it, and charles finally breaks down and admits that no he's not doing this to make pickles' life miserable or teach him a lesson about wandering drunk through the streets, it's because he CARES about him damnit!

charles freezes, certain he's overstepped every boundary he's ever set for himself professionally and personally, and then pickles just sniffles, smiles, and says, "you...really care about me, charlie?" ;~;

--

"Y" is for Years of Friendship First - NATEGAAR

i mean...this has to be nategaar, right?

they've been fast friends ever since skwisgaar auditioned for dethklok, when nathan and magnus and murderface all looked at each other and went "YUP" simultaneously. the two of them just vibed. maybe it was nathan's penchant for short, easily-digestible words and phrases, and skwisgaar's minimal english at the time. magnus and murderface were both wordy motherfuckers, and skwisgaar would normally tune them out. but talking to nathan, or even not talking at all, always came easy. and musically they were so aligned nathan thought magnus was jealous.

bandmates came and went. years passed. so much happened, so much changed. the near-breakup of dethklok, the events of doomstar, the takedown of salacia. the dust settled. dethklok was no more, the spell of their success broken, their god powers depleted, sacrificed in the final battle.

nathan still makes music. he has to. it's not quite as angry and dire as the stuff he used to write, but he likes it. and skwisgaar likes it, which feels like the most important thing. for some reason, when the others all went their separate ways to live their lives apart from the band, nathan and skwisgaar couldn't leave each other. at first nathan told himself it a professional thing. they were just so accustomed to making music together, so of course they'd want to keep doing that. but they eventually realize they're spending all their time together even outside of working on the music. and nathan's slowly moving into skwisgaar's house. and sleeping over a lot. and helping skwisgaar make breakfast. and if they hug a lot it's just because they're such awesome friends. and if they kiss a little, well, guys in europe kiss all the time, right? who cares.

a couple years later, when nathan's mother jokes that he should visit and "bring that husband of yours with you", the two of them look at each other and realize... oh. ohhh.

[trashbinbackyard]

jack/mirad & kai/helvi

I woke up at 8 and went like eeeh i can sleep another half an hour and them boom, 1pm

1. Who's the one who's reckless and always getting into trouble while the other gotta pull em out

Mirad has grown past his most reckless tendencies, Jack however hasn't, but he's more at danger to himself than to others

Kai is very careful when he's out hunting and he's never alone. Helvi however has a habit of going into the woods alone

2. Who's the one to send the other "I love my gf/bf" memes

I don't feel like either?

If they had phones it'd be Helvi

4. Which one spoils the other more and do they ever get competitive to show the other more love

Mirad spoils Jack, lets be real, it doesn't turn into a competition bc it's in moderation, and mostly Mirad treating Jack to some of his skincare products

Kai miiiiight spoil Helvi juuuuust a bit, he doesn't mind getting up way earlier to fix her breakfast and help her tie her hair and acquiring many fur blankets

5. How many years did it take to get married or was it just not for them

A few years for sure, when they both were sure about it. Probably talked about it too before Mirad proposed

Few years, if wasn't for Kai's role in the village they would've gotten married later, as neither really saw marriage as That important and just something they one day would like to do.

6. What was their wedding like

Small, just closest family and couple friends, nothing extravagant for the middle aged men

Whole day event basically with everyone from the village and surrounding area invited (against Kai's best wishes), Weddings, and especially high profile weddings like that are few and far between and they're quite the event. Small ceremony but then a huge feast with dancing singing and general revelry

7. Is their friends/family supportive

Ellen is very happy for them both, Mirad's parents were wary but approve later on, Marda is still sus about Jack

Very much so, Kory pretty much pushed them to get married already, Kat when she finds out is very happy for them both. Helvi's parents are so proud and treat Kai like close family

8. How does one comfort the other when the other is in distress/having a panic attack/crying

Mirad talks to Jack gently, checks if he hasn't hurt himself, bring him a snack and drink. When Mirad's distressed Jack will ask if he can do anything and keep him company if he lets him

If Kai's in distress he tends to shut down and all Helvi can really do is keep him company and hold him. If Helvi's upset Kai will call a timeout and just go somewhere with her where she can calm down and talk things through

9. Which one dissociates

Jack mostly

-

10. Which one stares at the other's booty like "damn" and how does the other react when catching them

Both. Mirad would be more cheeky (hehe) in his reaction while Jack is like "my booty?? :0"

Helvi. Kai blushes

11. When they live together what kinda place do they live in? What does their home look like?

Both had their separate places, where Mirad's was very neat and organized and Jack's was a whole mess. Jack would still keep his place as a workshop while he pretty much now lives with Mirad, where he learns to respect the house rules

They share a two-story chief's house with Kory and a garm, they have the whole lower level to themselves pretty much, and it's quite big, it's very cozy and bit cabin'y even if it's larger

13. How does each act when getting drunk

Jack's a sad drunk, first thing Mirad knew about him tbh. Mirad doesn't drink if I remember correct

Neither of them want to get Drunk drunk, just tipsy. Kai loosens up and gets chattier. Helvi gets giggly and cuddly

14. Which one rolls over in the morning to wake up the other one just to give kiss them

Beware the morning breath. Mirad wakes up before Jack

Kai doesn't wake Helvi up when he leaves the bed to go prepare breakfast, but when that's done he will kiss her goodmorning

16. Does one have an interest the other think is weird but wants to listen to it regardless

Jack likes welding for fun too, he's made some little "art" pieces for Mirad with textures he knows he likes, and Mirad appreciates it. Mirad's big into working out and Jack will be out of breath in two minutes if he joins but it's a pleasant experience

Helvi loves making potions and instruments and while Kai knows little about either he's up for helping her if she asks, she also sings. I know this seems kinda random bc I just know thought of it, but Kai's into drawing with charcoals, it would be fitting for his "quiet kid with not many friends" character (it hits a little too close home lmao)

17. Which one uses cropped hentai as reaction images

That's very much up Jack's alley

If they had phones, Helvi

18. Does one of them kinkshame the other

Not kinkshame, more like kink-concern on Mirad's part like "Jack, honey, WHY do you wanna be choked that hard"

Neither of them have really out there kinks, though Helvi would be up to do it in the woods. Just have to be extra careful they're far enough from any civilization

19. Is one of them self conscious about their body? If so how does the other comfort them

Jack, he's pudgy and wrinkly. Mirad doesn't mind it one bit and calling Jack a sexy beast on the regular makes Jack happy and less ashamed of his body

Helvi used to, before trans-your-gender spell hit, (and bc she basically got to decide what her body would look like of course she has no regrets) Kai is very body-neutral about himself, yeah that's a body, nothing special but ain't nothing wrong with it either

21. What is their song? Like the song that gives them overwhelming feelings?

Well I have listed Silent storm for them once and you know what, I stand by it

From Heilung Traust and Krigsgaldr (first half of it anyway), both were big inspirations for Helvi's character in general and Maria Franz is her voiceclaim too lol (also the guy on krigsgaldr second verse for Kai's voiceclaim (before 4.40 mark))

28. Are either of them mentally ill, if so how do they help one another cope

Jack is a recovering addict, also depressed, and alcoholic (recovering when they get together). Mirad is also an ex-addict and while he's much further into his recovery he's not immune to the shitty stuff that still might happen, they're each other's peer support

Helvi used to have bad dysphoria

29. Does one have a spot on them where they would melt when the other kisses them there

Head, forehead for Jack (and lips of course) he's not that big into getting kisses on his body. Mirad is sensitive everwhere but IIRC neck and sides are big

Helvi's wrists and neck just below her ears. Kai's throat and forehead

30. Do they dance together

Mirad poledances, Jack enjoys the view

At their wedding sure, both lil tipsy and letting loose, both lost their flower crowns that evening

31. Do they sing together

More like hum if they feel like it

Helvi's the one signing, Kai might join in on a verse or two

34. Are they a reckless couple or safe

Pretty safe with the occasional reckless on Jack's part

Safe

35. What be their kinks and do they try each other's kinks

Love and Care, and choking

They're pretty vanilla

37. Do they get into fights often? If so what do they fight over and how do they make up?

Arguments sure about Jack's self-destructive behaviors sometimes but the rule is never go to sleep angry so they both reflect on it with compassion

Not really, at least before The Incident, apologize and kiss and make up

38. Which one's top, bottom, verse

Mirad's a top, Jack is a pillow princess vers

Kai's top, Helvi's bottom

39. What kinda sex they be having (gentle rough whatever)

Whatever they're in the mood for, some tender lovin'? Sure! Get hot and heavy? With moderation. Break into laughter in the middle of it? Silly is also a mood!

It starts off as hot and heavy but calms down to more gentle

40. Who would fight in honor for the other if someone would insult them

Jack would just hit them with the "don't be meeeaaan 🥺🥺" Mirad I feel like would go the verbal route as well but more stern

It's common knowledge to Not insult the village shaman (the one who has illness remedies and the one who blesses you before you travel), and you DONT insult the the chief's kid/chief. They're both capable of defending themselves but Kai will step in if he happens to hear

44. Do they want kids

Nah, who needs kids when you got nieces

Yeah, and I've finally made up my mind, they're gonna adopt a bunch (and bc you dropped out of the campaign I can tell you how: a village not that near but not that far gets attacked by a power hungry druid and leaves bunch of kids without parents and the party will escort them back to Kai's village, before they go after the druid)

[derekgoffard]

If you are comfortable with it ( and ONLY if you're comfortable DO NOT do anything you DON'T want to do) but 😶 can we get nsfw alphabet for Colin maybe????? Mayhaps

(Again if you're not comfy DELETE THIS ASK no one will know 🤫)

UHAUHS Thank u for ur ask aguuhs!! This was such a nice way to word this I'm- 🥺🥺 thank u for being so nice about this ask this is honestly so sweet 🥺😭😭😭❤️❤️

ALSO Im very very un-practiced in writing nsft stuff so this is more jot notes then atcual writing lol,, ( nsft under cut , tw drugging ) Gvvyvh gghh

NSFW Alphabet:

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Hes pretty good!, if he's not too exhausted himself he'll run around his apartment grabbing blankets and pillows for his partner lol! He'd ideally love to cuddle up with them after sex and watch a movie or smth but he will do whatever they want generally lol, he probably doesn't wanna leave them alone tho- hes real clingy afterwards 😔

B = Body Part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He will tell them their hands if they ask BUT THATS A LIE LOL his favorite area of their body is probably their waist lol,,,,( if his partner has breasts it might be them too😤) his favorite part about himself is probably his hands; hes not a suppper confident guy but he likes how his hands are shaped and he loves how his fake nails give his fingers a longer look lol.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Very average, probably cums a little less then most people LOLGYD

D = Dirty Secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

HE SECRETLY WANTS TO SLIP THEM AN APHRODISIAC OR SMTH H H H HH he would never do that ESPECIALLY if he's built an atcually genuine relationship with them BUT. The idea just gets him goin vvf hhh he also probably would want to record it too, like one of those pov blowjob kinda things HHHHHH vhubbu

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

HES A VIRGIN 😭😭😭😭😭 hes had alot of practice on toys and he's watched alot of porn but with irl experience,,,he got none 😔

F = Favorite Position (this goes without saying)

Ye old doggy style and pretzel dip... He'd prefer to be on top but he's a true switch at heart,, he's also into cowgirl ( bottom ) if his partner is smaller and cowgirl (top) if his partner is bigger/has a dick/strap on

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's not serious at all lol! He might get kinda ? Creepy tho?? As in he might go real quiet and feel them up a bit but in general he's super nervous abt it so he appreciates a partner who makes light of the whole thing! It'll make him feel better 🥺

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He trims often!, He has a tuff of hair down there but in general he's pretty well groomed, he would never have the balls to try and bleach anywhere near his dick so it's his og hair color ( brown )

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He can get pretty intimate/romantic if his partner is! For him to even have sex he would probably need a good relationship with his partner; he's been lonely for so long and for him to finally have someone who he can be romantic with makes him very emotional lol!! If he gets romantic during sex he'll go really slow and probably would want to hold their hand during it lol

J = Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

Jacks off a moderate amount; at least once a day;....he watches alot of hentai and cosplay pornos,, he also reads alot of smut lol

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He's pretty kinky in general but his big ones are cosplay , bondage and overstimulation 😔😔😔 ideally he would like to do them all at the same time LOL. he's really into overstimulation with toys in particular 😡😔 he definitely has a thing for leaving his partner tied up the whole day on a vibrator while their in some skimpy outfit or smth hvqvyq H H😔😔 when he gets back he might wanna take a picture of them all exhausted to jerk off to later ygyvvggggg 😔😔😔😔😞😞😞

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Da bedroom..., he's pretty nervous and insecure abt this kinda stuff ( especially in the beginning) so he'd feel best somewhere secure and private; ...he's secretly got a thing for a blowjob in a public area or smth tho lol

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Colin is a simple man at heart; skimpy/sexy outfits turn him on alot, especially if it's smth he made/picked out for them 😞 showing sexual interest in him will turn him on too, aka just flirt with him LOL

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

degradation of any kind; he might be able to degrade someone if they asked for it but in no circumstances will he ever want that for himself lol,, it completely shuts him down

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

FFFFFF HAS A THING FOR FACE FUCKING LOL he would give his right arm for someone to give him oral 😭 it's a super big turn on for him and he probably fantasizes abt it alot😔 I imagine him being really into trying to give oral too; his braces will probably fuck it up alot tho 😔😔

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

His pace really depends on his mood lol; if he's feeling romantic he'll go slower and won't use any toys or anything; however 90% of the time he's gonna spend most of the duration on foreplay which gets him all riled up so when he atcually stars da fuckin he'll be pretty pent up and desperate about it😔 so on average he's going pretty fast hhh

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Likes them in concept but not in practice; he fantasizes alot about a quickie some public space like a bathroom or smth but in reality he could never do smth like that HA😔

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He doesn't take any TRUE risks, he's open to try basically anything but he won't do anything where someone could catch them in the act

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can last for a while! He has a bit more stamina then an average person I'd say, however he crashes hard after pushing himself that far lol,,

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

HAS A LOT OF TOYS LOL, he has at least one of any toy that's on the market basically LOL😭😭, he bought them all in the cutest colors they were available in so they still fit his asthetic lol; at first he only bought a few ones for himself but owning so many made him feel really cool so he just kept going LOL

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Likes to tease alot; really into the whole bondage, vibrator torture, orgasm denial thing lol,,,hes not really into being teased himself tho😠 ( he is selfish 😠😠😠)

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's atcually pretty quiet! He yelps a bit mabye ;

W = Wild Card (a random headcanon for the character)

He can space off sometimes during sex and will start doing weird creepy shit lol, (especially if their wearing an outfit) he might start drawing his fingers up their chest or leg or smth 🤮😔

X = X-Ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

It's a bit skinny but it's average! About 5.2in

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He can be flustered/turned on pretty easily but with no influence his sex drive is on the higher side;

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

That depends on how far he exerted himself ; if he didint go too far he'll have a good amount of energy left, but if he really exerted himself he will be sleeping before his head hits the pillow LOL

[lightskinrry]

no wedding for the bad boys

The one where the bachelor’s party doesn’t go according to the plan

A/N: hello cuties,,, after not writing for a while im back with some angsty shit!!!! i hope you guys like it and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts with me about this mess!!

Word Count: 5k

TW: a loooooot of alcohol; gambling and ANGST.

One of the things you liked so much about being the single friend was that you were always the one to keep the party alive. And now you were about to birth the best party of all times. Your best friend was getting married in two weeks and you were in charge of the bachelor’s party.

And with great power comes great responsibility, you had to plan everything and keep it a surprise. And if there was one thing you sucked at; it was keeping secrets, especially from Harry. He always had his way with you; it was hard keeping anything from him.

You couldn’t quite believe he was getting married. You watched him grow from a horny teenager to a beautiful and inspiring man. You saw him give his first concert in his mom’s living room and then watched him sold out arenas around the world.

You gave him his first kiss and helped him cheat his math tests and now you were his best-woman at his wedding. You helped him break up with his exes, held him while he cried, bringing him tequila and ice cream on bad days, making him laugh once the tears dried away. And he always did the same for you. And now you were gonna be by his side like you’ve always been on the most beautiful day of his life.

You had your little reluctance towards his future spouse. She was a beautiful and independent woman but you felt like you couldn’t see through her. Maybe because she entered into your lives not so long ago and you needed more time to get her. You could tell she didn’t like you much, anyway.

They’ve been together for less than a year and Harry “commitment issues” Styles proposed to her, to everybody’s surprise; even his own.

His mom tried to tell him that he had to be sure before pulling out such a great move. But he was so infatuated, it was too beautiful to bring him back to reality.

You didn’t want to interfere anyway so when he told you, despite your surprise and little bitterness; you supported him like a good friend.

He seemed so happy and into her, you didn’t want to let him know you didn’t trust his future wife or that to you all of this seemed premature. You also didn’t want your own feelings to balance his.

Anyway, you started planning the party ahead of time and everything was going rather well. Miss (future) Styles gave you some instructions and rules to follow regarding the party because Harry said you could do anything you wanted except if she wasn’t okay with it. So no strippers, no hookers, no clowns. Who would even bring a clown to a bachelor party? Well it seemed she didn’t want that anyway. She also said not too much alcohol and no drugs. She could’ve just tell you to cancel the party at that extent. But you had to give in to her commands...

Looked like you were about to organize a tea party for elderly people… Literally, bring out the cucumber sandwiches and put milk in your tea like these old rich british dudes.

You had to find a way to make a real bachelor party. Something huge and iconic; something legendary. You planned on giving Harry a Barney’s worthy type of party.

You thought about every outcomes that could make his future wife freak out. So you decided instead of staying too close to her, why not make a spontaneous move.

You met with the groomsmen and basically all yours and Harry’s friends that would be attending the party to make sure everyone was in with the plan and obviously said nothing to Harry.

You kept the secret until d-day.

You were waiting for him, wearing your red suit, in the lobby. “Harry, we’re leaving now, man. If you’re not out that door in 2, we’ll celebrate your party without you.”

He rushed through the hallway. “I’m right here. Ready to party like I’m already seventy.”

You told him about his bride-to-be restrictions concerning the party so he didn’t expect anything crazy. “No worries, baby. You still look young.”

It was a short ride to his favorite restaurant. You were driving, screaming-singing the lyrics to Got To Be Real and he was singing with you, taking breaks in his track to laugh with you. You parked in his usual spot and walked through the door, all your friends already sitting at the table, cheering when they saw the two of you walking in.

“Ah! Here he is! The man of the night!” Jeff stood to welcome Harry to the table.

You both took a sit and order a few drinks.

The evening went fast, you had great dinner, shared cuban cigars, good alcohol and had the best chocolate cake. Everything was moderate just like Tania asked; a fancy dinner in a fancy restaurant, not too much alcohol and nobody blacked out.... yet.

Harry stood, raising his glass to make a toast. “Thank you guys so much for tonight. I know we wanted to throw a rock’n’roll party…” He gave you a sly look. “But I appreciate that you took the time and care to give me a real grownup bachelor party.” He laughed a little. “I love you guys. I feel so lucky to have friends like you. So supportive and thoughtful. Thank you.”

All of you cheered on him. And one by one all of your friends left, claiming to be going home to their spouses. You and Harry were the last one to leave the restaurant. You stood next to the car, as Harry thanked the staff, waiting for him to come to you.

“So… I have a little surprise for you.” You gave him a sneaky smile.

“Oh god, this cannot be good.”

You smiled and pulled out a blindfold out of your pocket. He shook his head. “No. No. No. That doesn’t look good at all.”

You giggled and insisted. “C’mon. It’s your bachelor party. I promise it’s going to be fun but not too much.” You smiled. “Do you trust me?”

He sighed loudly… “Fine, Y/N. You better not throw me in the back of a truck or some kidnapping bullshit like that.”

You scoffed. “No worries.”

He closed his eyes and you put yourself behind him, placed the blindfold on his face and smiled contentedly. “Good. Now just follow me, baby. I got big plans for you.”

He laughed nervously and turned around to face you. “I feel like I might die tonight. But you know what? I trust you and your fucking crazy ideas. I knew you couldn’t just stop at dinner party and cigars.”

You gave him your best evil laugh and directed him to his seat in the car. You placed yourself in the driver seat, put on your playlist and drove.

After about 30 minutes driving and Harry complaining about the blindfold, you pulled over in the parking lot. You directed Harry through the airport, up until the gate of the plane. There all of your friends were waiting silently, smiling slyly.

“I can’t believe you convinced him.”

Harry turned around on himself. “Mitch?”

All your friends cheered to let him know they were all here.

“Fuck, so that was a group plan, huh? What did she convinced me to do? Because I can tell we’re in a airport, I’m not deaf and this is a bad plan, I can already tell. This is a bad plan.”

You all laughed and you gently stroked Harry’s shoulder. “Harry, when did I ever put you in a bad situation?”

“That time in Atlanta when we ended up-”

“This never happened. It was a fever dream. You know I would never put you in a bad situation.” You cut him in his track, remembering the misadventure.

“What about that night in NYC last year? I remember that basement, Y/N.”

“This wasn’t a bad situation, just a plan that kinda failed.”

He giggled before turning around again. “Okay, so what’s the plan that will most certainly fail today?”

“You get your ass on that plane and you’ll see!”

Harry sighed but with the help of everyone, he got on the plane. You took the blindfold off him and made sure to keep him busy during the flight.

After the pilot announced the destination, you watched Harry’s soul leave his body.

“Vegas? Fucking Vegas? You guys are all mad. Mad men. Does Tania even know?”

All of you gave him a big smile and said “Surprise!” in harmony.

“She doesn’t know. We’ll call her later. Just relax, mate.” Tom smiled at Harry and laid back in his seat.

Harry leaned in your ear and whispered. “She’s going to kill both of us, you know that?”

“Then we’ll both die after the best party of our lives.”

The flight was fun. You guys chattered and laughed. Harry was finally relaxing and giving into the mood. You couldn’t wait until you land to show him all you planned for tonight. But mostly all you didn’t plan; the best nights you spent with Harry were the ones that started without a plan. The ones that were supposed to be chilling at home. Actually even chilling at home turned into the best night. That was the thing; even the most boring shit can be amazing if you’re with the right people.

***

After landing and getting down from the plane, you lead Harry and all your friends to where the party was at; everywhere. You were painting the town red tonight.

You started with a few drinks in the lobby of the hotel, making your way downtown to a Casino just for the sake of being in Vegas, then you moved to a ballroom where a 30s theme party was going on. You sipped on Martinis and Manhattans until the fancy drinks were getting boring so you moved the group to a grunge club. Everybody was dancing and drinking and whatever else they found amusing. You could tell everyone was having fun, especially Harry.

Around 2AM some girl proposed to your group to come to her place cause she was throwing an after-party.  And obviously, everyone followed because following drunk strangers is fun.

You ended up at her place; all of y’all in a tiny apartment with some trash music and cheap alcohol, dancing and screaming until the neighbors called the cops for disturbance. So everyone, as drunk (and high for some) as they were, started leaving and running when the pigs showed up. You rolled with Harry, running through the night in the neighbourhood, laughing and breathing loudly.

“Fuck! I knew this was gonna end badly!” Harry laughed at you while reaching to grab your hand so you could run as fast as he did. You tightened your grip around his hand once you had it and ran to a dark corner.

You placed your hands on your knees and sighed, breathing deeply. “It could’ve been worse. The pigs could’ve arrested us.”

“I’m pretty sure my negotiation skills would’ve gotten us out anyways.”

You scoffed. “Your white ass face would’ve been enough, baby.”

He laughed and grabbed your hands to keep going further away from the girl’s house and the police car. You both were too drunk to even think correctly about where to go. You sent a text to the groupchat asking if everyone was okay and to meet up at the hotel.

But neither you or Harry could tell what way to go so you walked for a little while, stopping by any bar you came across  to get another drink.

You walked for about an hour and you were finally heading back into the city center. Your feet hurt so you stopped in a little park next to a Casino and a crappy motel.

You sat your ass down on a bench and grabbed Harry’s hand to make him sit next to you. He sighed and sat. You watched the sky for a little while.

“The stars look like a bunch of beans. Like a shit ton of beans flying above us.”

You laughed at his drunken comment. “Yep, a sky full of fucking beans.”

You both started singing the Coldplay’s song in harmony but replacing stars with beans all the way through the chorus and cracking up in laughter everytime you emphasize the word ‘beans’.

Harry took a long breath after his giggle and sighed. “Fuck, I’m gonna miss this.”

You looked at him for a second. “What do you mean?”

“Having fun with you like that. I’m gonna miss it.”

“But none of us is going anywhere?” You were pretty confused about his statement.

“Tania wants to settle in Los Angeles.” He turned his head to look at you. “And you know… You’re not…in Los Angeles, you. You’re not.”

You didn’t expect that. You thought if Harry was to ever settle somewhere it’d be in London. “You mean you’re gonna spend all your free time in LA? Fucking LA? Drinking grass smoothies all the time?”

He chortled at your comment. “It seems like that’s the plan.”

You stayed silent for a few minutes, taking the information in. It felt worse than a breakup; you were losing your best-friend and without even knowing it, you threw the goodbye party.

“So you’re really going to marry her and move and we’ll never see each other again?”

Obviously alcohol made it all even more dramatic to you; it was an overwhelming emotion.

“Not never again…”

“C’mon, you know damn well what happens when longtime friends part sides! We’ve watched How I Met Your Mother together!”

He chuckled and then took a deep breath. The air was suddenly heavier, and all the alcohol in your blood was making it hard to keep the focus on the serious conversation.

“We should do one last crazy ass thing together. It’s not like we’re gonna remember it anyway!” Harry pointed the casino with his head.

“You mean blow all of our money on bets and shots of patron?”

“Yep, that’s exactly what I mean.”

You didn’t check your phone as it rang in your pocket and followed up behind Harry running towards the Casino.

You took a last round of shots in the lobby. And you started shouting at Harry, your glass in the air. “You know what? I just remembered you’re getting fucking married, dude! Married? Fucking married. I can’t believe I’m gonna say this but fuck this bitch you’re engaged to.”

Harry laughed and shouted back. “Hey! I’m already fucking this bitch I’m engaged to!”

You cracked up in a laugh. “Noooooo! I mean she sucks! She wants to take you away. Awaaaaaaay.” You hiccuped and took a breath.

“I’m in love with you. I’ve been since like fifth grade or whatever.” You chugged down the rest of your glass.

Harry stopped for a second, he placed his glass on the bar. “Wow. That’s a revelation.”

He giggled and took a sip of his tequila. “I’ve been in love with you since like….. That time in third grade when you punched me in the chin cause there was a bee on me….”

“Oh fuck! I remember…. Your lip bled so much.” You let a little laugh slip through your lips. The alcohol in your blood made you lose sense of the importance of the words you just shared with Harry and what he shared back. And you thought for a second that maybe it was just drunk talk but the stupid smile you couldn’t get off your face reminded you the truth of it: it was going to stink in the morning.

After making sure both of you got enough drinks, you led him in the Casino and stopped at the first roulette table.

“Okay.” You looked at Harry. “What’s the bet though? Cause I will be putting money on something I have no idea how to play.”

“Well if I win, then you have to elope with me.”

“Oh shit.” You took a deep breath. “Fair, but if I win, we are eloping this motherfucker together.”

He scoffed. “Looks like we’re eloping tonight… That word is fucking weird, though. Eloping.”

“Who cares about the word! I’m betting on number 22 and 15. What about you baby?”

Harry took a look at the roulette for a second, placed the cash he had in his pocket on the table. “22;15.” He looked at you with a smug smile.

The dealer spinned the wheel and revealed the winning number. “22. You win.”

You collected your payout with Harry, left a big tip to the server and ran out the Casino to find a chapel.

“This is going to be so bad!!” You laughed out while running with Harry.

“Like every plan you’ve ever put me into.”

You stopped in front of the chapel at the back of the crappy motel.

“I don’t want to get married to Tania… She’s amazing. I love her so much. But it’s so boring. So boring. I want stupid plans and crappy basements party and casinos and unexpected flights and I want to be able to say when I’m 78 and I don’t have no hair left and I smell like old shoes and cheese that I married my best friend and I never regretted anything.”

“You’re being too fucking deep, Harry. There’s a Madonna drag as the officiant in this chapel. You are going to regret this.”

He chuckled before taking your hand. “We, Y/N. We are going to regret this.”

“Yep.”

You took a step into the chapel, glanced at Harry’s face to be met with a big smile and his drunken eyes. “Fuck this, I guess?”

***

You woke up with a terrible headache, your eyes could barely open because the light was too bright in the room. There was a weird smell of old alcohol, carpet and coconut air freshener. You opened your eyes fully only for your vision to be blurry as hell, the ceiling was moving and your head was so heavy, you couldn’t lift it up. You tried to look around you, seeing pulled up green sheets over your naked body and what seemed to be the curves of someone laying next to you. You felt a rumbling in your stomach and that’s the moment you knew; you had to get up…. because you were going to throw up.

You rushed to the bathroom and closed the door behind you. After emptying your stomach, you sat on the floor for a few seconds. The bathroom was small and poorly lit with a little window over the bathtub. You stood up and washed your face, taking the time to look at yourself in the dirty old mirror over the sink. Your hair was a mess and your make up was smudged. You had a huge hickey on your neck and little ones following down to your chest. You got out of the bathroom, holding your head and stumbling slightly. The room was clear since the curtains were pulled, you peaked at who was sleeping in the bed and found Harry, draped in the sheets peacefully snoring. You swallowed the gulp in your throat; this wasn’t good. You checked your phone and to no surprise you had a shit ton of missed calls and texts from your group of friends. Some asking if you’re okay, others where you’re at and some insulting you for not answering.

You gently shook Harry’s body. “Wake up.” He moaned before pulling back the covers to his face. You tugged on them to uncover him, leaving his chest bare. “Wake up, Harry.”

He groaned and turned around to lay on his back, his face turned to the ceiling. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost 9.” He turned to face you, opening slightly his eyes to peek at you. “You’re naked.” He nonchalantly said. You blushed for a second pulling the covers off him to cover yourself. He looked down to himself. “I’m naked, too.”

A floating silence lasted a few seconds before Harry jumped out of bed to find his underwear. “I’m naked! I’m naked. You’re naked. We’re in a bed. We’re in…. Where even are we?”

“In a motel somewhere in Vegas.”

“In Vegas?” His voice got two octaves higher. “Why are we in Vegas?”

“For your bachelor party, Harry. Stop freaking out.”

“Are you asking me not to freak out? We’re in a bloody crappy motel in Vegas and we’re both naked. I can’t remember what happened last night for the life of me and my head is killing me.”

He sat down on the edge of the bed, putting his pants back on. You looked at his back and you could see slight scratches marks with the sun light. You started getting dressed too, as fast as you could. Harry grabbed his phone and started scrolling down. You heard him sigh loudly.

“The fuck we did last night, Y/N?”

“Wish I could give you an answer, Harry. All I remember is getting on the plane and then it’s a black hole.”

“Well…” He got up from the bed, wearing only his trousers. You watched his chest for a second, his tattoos and his glowing chest in the sunlight. You caught yourself staring at him; his shoulders, his chest hair, your glaze going down to his trail.

“Y/N?” Harry’s voice resonated.

“Huh?”

“Did you hear what I said?” He tilted his head to the side and gave you a confused look.

“What did you say?” Your eyes lowered to the floor so that you would stop looking at him.

“I said I hope we didn’t do anything stupid. The wedding is next week. I have a stressed and very angry bride-to-be waiting for me at home and at the look of her texts, I’m in for a bad fight.”

You pinched your lips at the thought. What if you did something stupid? What if you messed up? It was already a stressful time for them. And you stewed in with a giant weekend party in Vegas when the instruction was clear: no big party.

“Let’s go find the others and finish our weekend.”

Harry scoffed as he picked up his shirt. “I’m going home. I’m sorry if I’m breaking the mood but I’m hopping on the next flight back to LA.”

***

You couldn’t quite figure out how to place the flashbacks from the weekend. It was already Monday and the wedding was in 6 days. You had flashes of a party in a small and unknown apartment and running in the streets with Harry and playing in a Casino but still nothing on how you got into the motel with him. Harry went back home on Saturday morning and from his voice message last night; he got quite into fight with Tania. She wasn’t happy at all with the Vegas plan but Harry reassured her and apparently everything was better today. You wondered if Harry remembered anything more than you, maybe he could fill in the blanks.

You knew the week was going to go fast and the wedding would be here sooner than you’d think, so you just hoped nothing unexpected would come back to you or him.

On Wednesday, you met up with Harry and the groomsmen for last minute check-ins for the wedding. You walked into the manor Harry reserved for the ceremony and as an obvious bad sign, Tania didn’t even said hello to you and avoided any eye-contact. You kinda wanted to apologize to her. After all, you did mess up a little bit.

“Hey guys.” You walked up to where your friends was.

“Hey Y/N. Did you pick up the ring from the jeweler?” Harry didn’t even look at you. He was signing some papers with the caterer and just asked the question without looking up.

“Yep. Got it right in the bag.”

Harry gave you a little look and you felt weird about it. It wasn’t his usual ‘thanks for doing the job’ look or anything tender. It was cold and almost professional.

You went over your check-ins with the groomsmen. You didn’t talk to Harry for the two hours you were there, not a word or a look. You knew something was off so once the work was done, you asked him to meet you in the bathroom.

You were standing next to the sink, checking your reflection when Harry walked in.

“Is there something wrong with the ceremony?” He asked bluntly.

“No.. Um… I just wanted… needed… to talk to you.”

“About?” He wanted to cut the conversation short and you hated this feeling in your stomach.

You sighed and smiled tenderly to him. “Well… How are you feeling? The big day is so close.”

“I’m feeling okay.” His answer was sharp but you were desperate to understand what was going on.

“Harry… What’s wrong? Why are you so cold?” You insisted.

He took a deep breath and closed the door behind him, making sure it’s locked.

“You know how I said I hope we didn’t do anything stupid in Vegas?”

“Yes.” You were confused about where he was going with that but it seemed bad.

“Well, we did something stupid.” His jaw clenched and you felt out of breath. “We did something so fucking stupid, Y/N.” You swallowed the gulp in your throat. “We fucked. I can’t even believe it. I don’t even remember how we ended up in that crappy fucking room. All I remember is how I had sex with….” He didn’t even look at you. “I cheated on my wife, before we even fucking got married.”

You couldn’t say anything, the images slowly came back to you.

“You have nothing to say, huh?”

Your ‘humour coping mechanism in stressful situations’ reflex kicked in at the wrong time. “Well, technically it’s not cheating, the bachelor party is a single man party.” You laughed nervously.

“It’s all your fault. We said no fucking party. No big stupid plans, but you had to go against our wishes because you’re so fucking selfish.”

You couldn’t say a word. You never seen Harry so mad at you before.

“Look, I’m sorry your dating life is such a mess. And that you can’t find anyone, but I did. I found someone. Someone amazing and then I fucked this shit up because you couldn’t go without one party.” He rapidly passed his hand through his hair, and sighed.

You felt anger boiling down in your stomach. Him being mad was comprehensible but it wasn’t all your fault.

“You fucked this shit up, yourself. I wanted to throw a fun bachelor party for my best friend. You wouldn’t have had sex with me if you didn’t wanted to. Because deep down, you know you don’t want this marriage. You don’t want to be stuck with Miss Boring Pants and spend the rest of your life here in LA, drinking grass smoothies and having to partake in her posh high standard life. You know that’s not what you want. You know it was premature to propose so soon in the relationship. You’re mad at yourself, Harry. Get a grip. You shouldn’t do this.”

It all slipped. You just couldn’t hold it in.

“I shouldn’t do what?” Harry’s face was red, his nostrils were open and the vein on his neck was popping. You could tell he was holding back the tears at the gate.

You took a deep breath and a calm voice. “Get married. You shouldn’t get married.”

He filled his lungs with air and exhaled loudly, trying to keep his composure.

“Listen carefully Y/N. You are nobody to tell me what I should or shouldn't do. What happened in Vegas was a drunken mistake and I won’t let it ruin the best day of my life. I won’t let you ruin the best day of my life. So here’s what’s going to happen. We’re going to go through the ceremony with no slips and then I’m moving to LA with Tania. And you, you move out of my life.”

Your heart sank to your stomach, and your face was boiling; the tears slowly gathering in your eyes.

“You don’t mean it.” Your voice was almost like a whisper.

“I do, Y/N. From now on, I just want to make sure this wedding is the perfect wedding Tania wants.”

He unlocked the door of the bathroom and left without looking back. You brought your hand to your chest as if it would soothe the pain and let the tears flow down your face. It couldn’t be real.

***

It was hard going on like nothing happened but if there was anything you could do right now was make sure you got your best-woman duties done. The wedding was tomorrow and you had to finish your speech. What would you even say? “To my ex-best friend, I wish you the best to you and your boring wife.” That sounds about right.

You were waiting for Jeff to come in with the last informations regarding the ceremony so that tomorrow everything goes according to the plan. You heard a knock on your door, you got up thinking Jeff came in early and opened up. A postman with a big envelope was standing there.

“Y/N  Y/L/N?” He asked, looking up from his notes.

“Yes, herself.”

He asked for your id and verified it. “That’s for you.” He handed you the enveloppe and after you took it, asked for you to sign the delivery papers.

You thanked him and got back inside. You sat on the sofa to open it, there was a Vegas postage on it and your heart missed a bit.

You slowly opened the envelope. Inside you found a marriage license legally binding you and Harry for life. You pinched your lips and took a deep breath. This was a mess, a huge mess.

How on point was this news? Good way to make sure his ceremony goes exactly like they planned when you’re going to come in and let them know they can’t get married anymore.

You sat back and tried to clear your mind.

You were officially married to Harry…. And Harry is about to actually get married tomorrow. This didn’t make much sense but you had to think of a solution and quick.

[25centsoda]

Initial Thoughts

Mister Impossible spoilers under the cut! 

Okay I am still feral but can use real human words now (like a human not a dream-- okay okay sorry) SO here are my disorganized first thoughts having just put the book down about twenty minutes ago, expect little in the way of chronological order

I was not jazzed about the book when I first got it, gonna be honest. The title, okay I guess, I can understand - the song Mister Impossible is a banger and definitely fits the mood. Would’ve prefered a line from the song rather than the title, which is, as some have pointed out, a bit more of an action-novel title than what we were expecting from the Dreamer Trilogy. But fine. Okay. 

Then I read the summary in the inside flap and I went :/ Hmm. Sounds a bit too high-stakes for me - listen, finding one dead king? Fixing one local ley line? That I can vibe with. Finding another dreamer a city over? Underground criminal magic market? Cool. Tangible. Fantastical! But tangible. World-ending stakes? I’m sorry, you’ve kinda lost me? But okay, okay, I trust Mrs. Stiefvater, I want to know more about dreamers and dreams, I’ll bite. 

The three quotes that come before the story itself? Another :/ Another hmm, okay. I’m not terribly jazzed. It’s not caught me. Even the first page! Didn’t catch me. I had to intentionally set aside critical-mode as I started the book

*takes a moment to set aside critical mode again because I did genuinely enjoy this book*

MATTHEW AND HIS CRISES, AA. Poor boy. “Was I made to be this way, or am I this way because I am me? How much free will do I even have? How much does it even matter? How much does anything even matter?” My philosophy phase last summer would’ve totally vibed with you, my dude *fistbump*

ALL OF THE MODERATORS EXCEPT CARMEN WERE DREAMS???? I’M SORRY?????? WHAT

No seriously they were all dreams?!?!? Since when?? Since how?? If they’re killing Zeds, were they killing all but their own Zed?? Did they all have sweetmetals?? Did Ronan dream them, too?????

If so that’s incredibly fucked up

SPEAKING OF SWEETMETALS

Bro what was that. I’m sorry but what was that.

Listen okay it makes sense in the context of the story I guess, but I couldn’t help but read it more as a part of her metaphor for like “dreamers are artists” and I totally get where she’s coming from looking at it as part of the metaphor, especially considering her recent/semi-recent health issues BUT as a story? Idk I just didn’t feel like I could mesh it with the story itself, see it as a thing on its own outside of the metaphor

TRC I could see both the metaphors and the story. CDTH I could see both the metaphor and the story. All The Crooked Saints I could see both the metaphor and the story. Here I was having trouble

Speaking of the metaphor

Why was Ronan committing ecoterrorism

I was almost getting like. Idk y’all read the latter half of Maximum Ride? We were edging into that territory where we were losing the thread of the story in the metaphor. Anyways

BRYDE

BRYDE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I had to go scream at a friend when I read that part!!! Ronan dreamt himself a father figure, a teacher, a leader!! I’m FERAL

This part I felt was well-done

But BROOOOOOOOOOOOO, a dream that is also a dreamer???? WHAT. The power that takes, the power that has. Unstoppable.

MATTHEW FELL ASLEEP AT THE END AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Wait tho what was that at the end. I do not understand.

I get why Hennessy killed the ley line

BUT WHY DID MAGGIE

I saw Ronan and his dreamt fire and his internal conflict/angst. I saw Hennessy and her lace. Get it.

BUT WHERE DOES IT MAKE SENSE THAT ALL THE LEY LINES SHOULD DIE. WEREN’T WE GIVING MATTHEW AND JORDAN FREEDOM. WEREN’T WE WAKING BACK UP THE ARTISTS OF THE WORLD.

And Matthew was gonna go to school and be a real person instead of his brothers’ pet T_T

How could they do this to my sweet boy

And the book ended with Jordan??? I didn���t feel like she was a main-main character, enough to be ended on like that?? I thought the Dreamer Trilogy was about the dreamers primarily and dreams secondarily. CDTH even opens with stuff about the Lynch brothers (fantastic, btw, still catches me and gets me excited with the very first line even after three reads and about two years)

this is saltier than I intended whoops

Also

Also

Carmen and Lilliana

Appreciate the lesbians! Very much appreciate it. Feeeeeelin like it fell a little flat. Idk I saw possibility for more in the last book, maybe, but this book went from “hint of hint of space for development” to “they are KISSING, they are RUNNING AWAY TOGETHER, they are PAINFULLY OBVIOUSLY DATING”

Lowkey where did that come from

And where was Adam aaaaaaaaaa. I was worried about him! What happened to him! But then turns out Ronan just threw his phone away too fast bro, Ronan, plz 

I think that’s it? I think that’s it. No wait I did really like Jordan and Declan, that was nice. Henessey’s characterization was well-done I think; she be self-destructive and #struggling and desperately in need of some lesbian aunts (good for her on getting them).  ADORED Matthew and his personality and crises. Overall the book was just not the vibe I was expecting/necessarily came for; the stakes were too big, I think, was the most major issue.

What I’ll be looking for in the next book

WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW THAT THE LEY LINES ARE DEAD. Will Matthew be okay? Will Ronan be okay? We established that he doesn’t work without a ley line, right, boy just nightwashes out of life?

ALL OF THE MODERATERS WERE DREAMS??? MRS STIEFVATER EXPLAIN

Ronan just. Did a bunch of ecoterrorism. For nothing? What’s up with that lol. Is somebody gonna arrest him

Opal was mentioned but we never saw her. Where is she? Is she okay?

HOW IS JORDAN AWAKE, WHAT. Is the sweetmetal, like, inside her now, because she made one? Also why did we end on her. I feel like “It was a very nice day/she felt awake” is a VERY different mood from the devastation we were just reading. Matthew slipped out of consciousness AND HE WASN’T EVEN A KING. Like this was TRK-level dramatic but then our last bite of story was not that. I Must understand.

Somebody better talk to Ronan bro seriously kid needs therapy, he made his own father/mentor/leader figure. Declan was worried Ronan joined a cult but turns out boy made one. Plz help him

Hennessy better be vibing. She doesn’t have the Lace to contend with anymore

I think that’s it legit! This was waaaaaaay longer than I thought it would be lmao and less comprehensible/deep but hopefully in the future I will be back with more organized thoughts because boy does this book invite them (and no those thoughts will not be majority salt)

[kvngjoong]

seonghwa + nsfw a-z

requested! sorry it took me so long. i will be doing yunho next, but so far haven’t got requests for anyone else. let me know if you want it done for another member ❤️

A: Aftercare

considering that seonghwa probably makes pack lunches for people, aftercare will be one of his specialities. seonghwa is someone who enjoys the looking after people element of a relationship and will always be there to check you have a blanket over you (especially if you fall asleep quickly after sex) and something to clean you up with etc. he’s prepared for absolutely anything. like a big first aid kit, but for sex

B: Body Part

nothing really stands out here, but seonghwa would probably be a bit basic (no offence meant) and likes your waist or your thighs, probably your thighs (more on that later) because he leaves a lot of marks there and likes being between them. for him, he probably won’t ever talk about it, but it’s likely his favourite body part for himself is his arms, or his hands, since he’s pretty good with them

C: Cum

this is probably a bit controversial but he’s messy. yeah, he doesn’t like mess, but there is something telling me that he would cum anywhere, everywhere, and feel bad about it later. poor boy gets carried away with what he’s doing and just cums. there’s a moderate amount of it, and it probably tastes a bit better than the average. he does like it when he cums on your thighs though, cause he thinks that’s hot

D: Dirty Secret

he really wants you to dom him. like it’s a wish that he can’t express enough but he’s kinda afraid of sharing it with you (even if you have some switch or dom tendencies) because he still likes the idea of being dom and seeming in control. so more often than not, when he’s on his own, he’ll tell himself that he’s not allowed to cum until he’s with you, because the only one who can allow him to cum is you

E: Experience

some experience, probably one of the more experienced but not loads. he knows what he’s doing, probably, though always happy to learn more as he goes along. he doesn’t seem like someone who would cringe at the sound of the word sex so likely can make it up as he goes along, too

F: Favourite Position

since we’ve established he’s a secret sub, probably likes it most when you’re riding him, but also likes anything that means you’re taking control (and he can take it easily off him). if he had to pick overall for everything, he’s a big big fan of when you ride his face, like a big fan, and he would pick that over sex anyway

G: Goofy

it depends on you. if you’re joking around then so will he, but if it’s really serious and you’re both really, really in the mood then he will be as serious as he can be. he doesn’t often initiate any jokes himself, he will just flow off whatever mood you’re in. maybe afterwards he will be a bit more goofy but not during

H: Hair

something says he keeps himself trimmed but nothing over the top. doesn’t shave completely, just likes it tidy. he may think it’s a bit weird to have no hair. he doesn’t really have a preference for you but would probably like it if you were the same. no need to shave it all, just keep it tidy

I: Intimacy

definitely intimate. sex with him will never be just cause he wanted to. every time he has sex the submissive side of him will come out a bit more and he will want to worship you completely, and he thrives off the intimacy between you. he’s a real softie at heart. he wants you to know how much you love him, and if he has to make you cum 4 times in a row to prove that to you, he will do that with nothing but pure love running through him

J: Jack Off

as before, he probably doesn’t do it too often because he tells himself you would want to do it for him. but sometimes things are too much and he will have to jack off in the middle of the night because he can’t get specific things out of his head. it’s probably not something like you looked hot, he probably gets off to something you’ve said or imaging you doing something

K: Kink

probably has a lot of kinks and is seriously kinky, despite what he may initially show. he’ll seem like someone who just wants to dom you but as you get to know him, and when he finally admits he wants to sub too, the floodgates are open. he’s into a lot of basic stuff but also would venture into some more niche topics. maybe likes it when you tie him up, more so than tying you up. but in the same sense, he wouldn’t like it if you used any toys on him, he likes doing that to you. definitely likes getting told what to do, and likes it when you tell him he can’t cum (as per his dirty secret)

L: Location

whilst sex is mostly for the bedroom, he’s happy to eat you out or touch you in any location. the kitchen, the car, the shower, the anything. he’s not into exhibitionism or anything, but he doesn’t really care too much if it’s a public place. he doesn’t have a high sex drive, he would just do it if you asked him to. his favourite will always be the comfort of his/your own home

M: Motivation

you? is there much more to it? anything from an off handed comment to you touching him a certain way. he may be a bit competitive sometimes so when someone says that they don’t think he’s good at something, he will definitely want to prove to you he is. or he just misses you. something like that

N: NO

not into threesomes or moresomes. likes it when it’s just you two, so wouldn’t enjoy having someone else with you. really wouldn’t like you to ask someone else to do something with him, either. it’s just really not his thing

O: Oral

if it wasn’t already clear he loves giving oral to you. he’s not sure why, but do you really need a reason behind it? he would pick it over you giving him oral, but that isn’t to say he doesn’t enjoy when you’re going down on him. when he’s in a more dominating mood then you going down on him and him going down on you is a norm. when he’s sub, his treat is eating you out

P: Pace

he’s not too fast or slow, but more on the quicker side. he doesn’t really slow down before he cums or anything. since a lot of his effort goes into foreplay, the actual sex will seem quicker than expected

Q: Quickie

to tease you, yeah, he will 100% be into it. maybe pushing you against a door and fucking you from behind is a thing he does too. if you’re encouraging him, he’s there for it. blow job in the car? he’s for that too

R: Risk

given who he is, seonghwa is unlikely to try taking risks and almost getting caught by people. it probably doesn’t excite him or anything, in fact it will more likely turn him off if anything. he wants to know he’s got some time to work with you, rather than always been on edge should someone need something from him

S: Stamina

has a lot of stamina and could definitely go for a while. though he can sweat a bit, he can still keep going for a while afterwards. it may surprise you a bit how far he can go, but anything to please you, right?

T: Toy

likes using them on you, not the other way around. nothing too much, maybe a vibrator or two, some handcuffs (but it would be way better if he used his tie), and maybe one of those collars if you wanted one. you know, just a few different things he can use from time to time. really wouldn’t like anything to do with cockrings, or butt plugs, he’s not a fan

U: Unfair

he’s not the biggest tease, but he can if he wants to. most of the time he won’t tease you all that much but don’t take his lack of doing so as a reason to assume he will never do so. because of his sub tendencies he won’t want tease you that often. but if you teased him then he would like it very much. he would really want you to edge him. more than he admits to, at least

V: Volume

his actions mean more than his words, so he won’t say too much. instead, he’ll let out these tiny little whines and moans every now and then, and groan when he’s fucking you. so, he’s quiet, but he’s not that quiet. makes a special little noise when he cums for you which is a nice little treat. probably tells you that he loves you occasionally when he cums

W: Wild Card

when seonghwa finally gets the courage to tell you that he wants to sub, it is definitely a sight to see. he’ll mention it to you one night and doesn’t expect you to follow through with his wishes the very next day. he’d be surprised when you send the first text in the morning telling him what to do when he gets home. he’ll follow your instructions to wait on the bed for him, clothes off, and when there’s ten minutes until you get home he’s practically throbbing for you

X: X-Ray

he’s a touch above average; a bit longer than average but average girth if not a bit thinner than others. he’s happy with how big he is though, and you will be too, so there’s no problems

Y: Yearning

doesn’t have the highest of sex drives, so he will usually be waiting for you to initiate something unless he really, really wants something and he thinks you’ve been teasing him all day. if he knows you’ve both got some free time though, he’ll probably pencil in some time for any nsfw activities he feels like

Z: ZZZ

if it’s not a quicky, and he’s not doing anything else after (ie it’s not morning sex, which isn’t the most common with him), seonghwa will likely be there to lay next to you, cuddle for a bit, talk for a bit more, then go to sleep. he definitely gets tired after, hence why morning sex isn’t a big thing, and you can probably tell when his answers start to become less and less responsive and he eventually drifts off

a/n: thanks guys. now i have the fattest crush on seonghwa

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #383

“the big bully try to stick his finger in my chest  /  try to tell me, tell me he’s the best  /  i don’t really give a good goddamn ‘cuz i got my lunchbox & i’m armed real well”

Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Well yeah. Most of my friends are online, and while I've seen pictures of most at least once or twice, some I still haven't. The last time you threw up, what caused it? It was a side effect of a mood stabilizer I started. Any foods from other countries you would like to try but haven’t yet? I'm sure there's something, idk. Do you think the world would be more peaceful without any religion? Yes. Have you ever had a stalker? No. Does it hurt your feelings when people talk shit about things you love? It makes me self-conscious way more than anything. I start to obsess over whether or not the person things poorly or weirdly of me for liking what I like. I just feel judged for liking it, but that's my problem. Do you like it when people give you nicknames? I do, actually. It feels kinda affectionate to me. Do you often find yourself checking out people’s butts? Haha I'm not gonna say it's never happened, but it's not something I make a habit out of for sure. What fandoms are you in? MEERKAT MANOR IS BACK BAYBEEEE, Markiplier, Silent Hill, Shadow of the Colossus, World of Warcraft, Spyro, Wings of Fire, and lots more, honestly. I'm into a lot of stuff, and I don't love in moderation, haha. Are there any fandoms you used to be in, but left? Yeah, like Supernatural, Good Mythical Morning, or Warriors, but it wasn't out of "I don't like it anymore" or anything, I just drifted away. Anything the fans in your fandoms do that pisses you off? World of Warcraft if particular has one of the most toxic fucking fanbases. There are so many goddamn elitists and people who whine about "boohoo WoW is dying" and "omg this game has been trash since Wrath" and yada yada yada and it's annoying as hell. They always find some shit to complain about. Then Silent Hill... ugh. I think people just hop onto the "the series sux after 1-4" bandwagon to fit in with a certain crowd, but that's not the main thing that annoys me; rather, it's the fact the former main admin of the SH wiki made a fucking joke out of us there. He was clearly having personal issues and made a HUGE and utterly ridiculous deal of Silent Hill 4 having heavy symbolism to the main character being obsessed with the bullshit idea of him being circumcised, and it led to a maaaassive thread of us members trying to talk some damn sense into him as he abused his power. He was finally banned by the Wikia staff, but not in time for some gaming websites to publish "news" stories about it because it was just that ludicrous. Now, YEARS later, we still get trolls coming onto the site to try and revive the drama by inserting absolute rubbish into pages or making new ones. Nowadays I'm the main administrator there, and it's fucking embarrassing sometimes. I'm supposed to keep the wiki under control and respected, you know? Ugh, I'll stop. I could rant for a very long time about this. Do you prefer ruffly or regular potato chips? Ruffly. Do you write down your own recipes, or just commit them to memory? I don’t cook. What color do you want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, lilac, and a light creamsicle orange. I REALLY want to dye it SOMETHING. :( How do you like your chicken? Of course breaded (like nuggets, tenders) is my favorite, but I also enjoy is broiled and seasoned well. There's other ways, but because I don't cook, I, uh... don't know how a lot are made lmao. Do you enjoy cheese fries? UUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH YES. Do you eat refried beans? I absolutely hate beans, so no. What is a food you enjoy, but don’t have very often? A whole lot because a lot of it is from restaurants and we don't eat out all that much. As well, my diet is very narrow just because of how picky I am. Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Why? I mean, what are we comparing them for? I think Audrey is fucking gorgeous, though. Marilyn is also beautiful. Favorite fictional world? Uh, I dunno. Do you use lint rollers often? No. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want to. Has your power ever gone out for more than a day? I think so. Other than a dislike button, what’s something you wish Facebook had? Hm, I dunno. What time do your parents normally get home from work? Mom can't work right now, but I think Dad gets off around 5PM. Are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Yep. Do you think it’s better to look for love or let it find you? Both can work, but I definitely prefer to let it find me. I feel that *in general* that usually has better results. Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? No. I'm a very committed person romantically. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Have you ever had a rash from poison ivy? I don't believe so, no. Do you have any chairs in your bedroom? No. Did you watch Elmo as a child? Some, yeah. Do you know anyone who doesn’t eat meat? I don't think so, off the top of my head. When you throw up, do you cry? No, but I'm a whiner and will also shake from fear because I have such a phobia of vomiting. Doing it totally turns me into a baby. Who was the last person to carry you? I couldn't tell you the last person to full-on carry me, but back when I tore a ligament in my foot, my mom kinda had me lifted when she would help me walk. Is it easy for you to accept loss? Absolutely not. I handle it very, very poorly. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had a rolling back pack? Yes. Who knows you better than anyone else? My mom, probably. Would you ever want to go to Brazil? Sure, if the opportunity came up. Are there any medical conditions that run in your family? A lot, mostly heart problems. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica imo. Who is the biggest jerk you've ever met? She was somehow my former best friend. Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never been in that situation, thankfully. What's a charity you would never donate to? I'm really not familiar enough with charities and their practices to know which ones are sketch or not. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you have any exes you'd consider dating again? Yes. What were some of your favorite classes you took in high school? Art and German. Mythology was fun, too. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Yeah, I have a cousin that's a lawyer. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, outta curiosity. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like, two days. Part of the reason I left Girt was because I liked Sara. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? Chicken noodle soup. What's a movie series where the sequel was better than the original? Ha, for some reason Inspector Gadget came to mind. I guess from mentioning my childhood. I was FUCKING OBSESSED with that movie as a kid. The first one's fine, but I love the second one. Does your car have heated seats? Mom's doesn't. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing strange, really. Describe your hometown. What’s it like there? Small and dangerous. Lots of run-down areas. A gang nearly broke into our house once, if that helps you get the picture. What was the last video game you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 forever ago. What did you learn from your last failed relationship? It really just taught me that you need to take care of your own mental health before you can effectively handle another's properly and strike a healthy balance. What country does your favorite band hail from? Britain. What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done? Finish decorating my room. -_- Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it? Good Mythical Morning, I suppose. I used to be OB-SESSED. I still adore Rhett and Link as people, they are fucking wonderful human beings and excellent entertainers, I just drifted away from their content. I don't really know why. Do you sleep with the TV or the radio on? No. What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)? Menstrual cycles, I'd say. It affects your mood so much, and as someone who's bipolar, it can be very confusing. I like to know why I'm feeling a certain way. What movie has the best special effects? /shrug How many work hours per week is too much for you? I wouldn't know, I've never really worked long enough to figure this out. Can you remember your first day of school? I think I have the faintest memory of it. I know I was very scared to leave my mom (I had absolutely awful separation anxiety from her) and I MIGHT have cried, but I don't really recall with certainty. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No thanks. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Most, no, because the level of cringe is LITERALLY unbearable for me. Do you have a safe? Mom does somewhere. What’s the scariest thing to happen to you so far? The breakup. That night was just fucking terrifying. I was so certain my life was over, like the situation was so, so impossible in my head. What was your last dream about? (or your daydream if you don’t remember) My memory's faint, but I just remember I had a nightmare where a LOT of my bones were totally snapped in half. When was the last time you saw a relative? Excluding my immediate family, I last saw my now-departed grandmother and my uncle a while back at a hotel as they were passing through. Have you ever been in a TV audience? No. Are you in any way close to reaching a personal goal? Not really... Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Do you like making collages? Not really. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? No. What would you love to learn to do? Digital art, like drawing on a tablet. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Lemurs. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot, 100%. Are you more shy in real life or on the internet? I am WAY more shy irl.

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 

humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.

i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 

‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 

to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !

[inventors-fair]

Let’s Talk Flavor: Commentary

I would say overall that most of these cards were fantastic and a great number of the story ideas were good. There will be parts where I suggest edits, and the thing about story edits is, well, it doesn’t impact game design. That’s the thing about the Fair and the thing about Magic in general: the whole thing could be replicated with number systems and program lines and it would be the exact same. It’s the fact that a creature has Flying, or that a spell is made of Lightning that makes the game exciting. This was an interesting experiment. 

Let’s talk about cards!

@ace-hobo​ — Captain’s Wrench

This is a perfectly fine card. I like the “fixed” Voltaic Key style, the moderate power level. It’s a card that someone would probably be middling in artifact decks but fine in budget builds. I’m sort of feeling an Ixalan vibe, maybe with a little steampunkishness. I get that the wrench belongs to De, but it’s a little confusing regarding why they have the wrench. If they’re the captain and they’re not in the engine room, why is the card depicting a tool that would suit them better if they never left the engine room? Maybe the story should be about how DESPITE their captain status, they spend time in the engine room. It’s an easy enough tweak.

@cas-420 — Boiling Blood

The card is pretty good. It’s very aggressive and has synergistic potential. I really don’t see where the flavor is tying into it. I am favorably inclined towards your text, in concept. I can see where you were making the pun on “execution.” The wording is clunky with the repeated syntax, and could have just used the execution line. But what does that have to do with the card? The flavor evokes dissent, protest, retaliation. The flavor of the card evokes speed, purpose, initiative. It’s not a perfect tonal match. I would save the text for a different card with a clearer purpose

@dabudder​ — Wisdom of the Tides

In terms of card wording, I believe you’d be looking for something like Mysteries of the Deep, where you have an “instead” wording — unless you’re supposed to draw an additional card after? It’s a little confusing how you have it now. Still, Flourish is a fine mechanic, executed well. This was pretty close to being a runner-up. I like the nod towards crabs. We’ve been having a crab mood lately. Overall, not bad. Might need to be four mana, but that’s me being cautious.

@deafeningsandwichpeach​ — Jyska, Artificer Overlord

The name is probably the best thing about this card, and it’s fair enough for a legendary creature. Considering that this is essentially the Nim ability from original Mirrodin and that it’s a vanilla creature otherwise, I would contest that you’re severely overestimating the power level of this card. It’s not as strong as it seems. In terms of flavor text, this is basically exposition. I won’t dissuade you from story-rich cards, but there’s too much information presented in a manner that overloads the reader. Simplify, punch, beat, punctuate. In terms of presentation, the whole block should be in quotes, and you don’t need to attribute the quote if the character’s on the card itself.

@demimonde-semigoddess​ — Thaw

Great name, great snow flavor. I can see this in the tundra wastes, something emerging from the snow, bursting out. I had to do some digging. As it turns out, “gelid” is a real English word I had no idea about! I thought from the shackles and your flavor text that it was some Coldsnap lore. In terms of the text itself, it’s not bad. It’s just that the two statements are somewhat disconnected. They work both on their own, but together, they don’t gel well. Still, bonus points to mechanical flavor for an anti-ice feel.

@dimestoretajic​ — Phytotemple

The card is pretty funky for an uncommon, pushed but not busted. I’d call it a pain in the butt but no more than Wayfaring Temple. Ah, I see, the wayfarers, an homage. But there’s a lot I don’t understand. Who lost the wayfarers? Who’s saying this quote? Why did the phytotemples start appearing in general? Did the original wayfaring temples break into them? What does Selesnya have to do with construction crews? How is that related to the phytotemple’s physiology and motivation? Most importantly, why is there a street named after a Selesnya dissident? I think you should have focused on one specific area of the card’s backstory.

@emmypupcake — Bloom Nurturer

I was really surprised that there wasn’t a card already named this. In terms of card wording, look at High Tide or Bubbling Muck; I think it would read “Until end of turn, whenever you tap a Forest for mana, add an additional G.” The quote doesn’t light my world on fire, but it fits well and reads well. Just remember to indent the attribution with shift+enter. Overall? Good enough.

@fractured-infinity​ — Shara, Skalla Vengeant

I had to do a little digging, but I like how you incorporated Vivien’s lore in here. That said, Skalla is also, well, destroyed, presumably forever. Where did the spirit come from? Is it wandering around Skalla? In that case, did Vivien go back? Why? That raises a couple questions. In terms of this card, it’s broken. In anything but the most pushed Commander formats, it’s three mana to deal seven damage to any creature you want with minimal repercussions. Any prevention makes her impossible to deal with. In limited, she would sweep unfairly.

@ghost31415926535 — Man-Eater Wurm

Firstly, I would like to apologize for the flavor bar being in the middle of the line. That’s my bad. Let’s talk about the rest of the card. In concept, it shouldn’t be too overpowered. But deathtouch and trample together create complex rules baggage that many casual players simply don’t understand. Nine times out of ten, they’ll never be printed together. Seeing that this is exactly how you submitted it, consider for next time: Only the first keyword needs to be capitalized in a string. Something like Unearth needs its own line. The flavor text is standard enough. Just remember that quote attribution also needs its own line.

@gollumni​ — Gives You Hell

I love the name here. I got that All-American Rejects song stuck in my head now. Remember that one? Anyway. Firstly, you don’t need to put “target” there; “Enchant creature” implies it. Secondly, and least importantly, don’t forget you can add watermarks in MSE! Thirdly, the flavor text. I get it, but it doesn’t flow great. If there was some wordplay to be done on fire-spitting and whatever turn of phrase you used, like, “spitting poison” in the literal sense — I don’t know, I just expect something a little more concise. It’s a great concept and has the potential to be very funny, so points there. Also, the card itself? Fantastic.

@greensunzenith​ — Decorated Demon

Liking the name. I don’t like how this card has to be a rare. It’s more of an annoyance than anything. It feels like a card that prevents decisions. It’s not aggressive, nor is it particularly interactive. Conceptually it works, but I’m not in favor. The flavor text is a bit of a head-scratcher. The real question is: who is giving demons sigils? How do they become redeemed? On what world CAN demons become redeemed? This isn’t a Bant thing, is it? I’m a little lost as to the specifics, since it doesn’t play into any tropes and doesn’t inform the world in a recognizable way.

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes​ — Goblin Decorator

If the flavor text had simply been, in quotes, “Earwigs would go so well with that wallpaper!”, then this card could have been a runner-up. Also, this should definitely be an uncommon. The effect is awesome and powerful and annoying and plays into a variety of strategies. Still, the flavor text is just...too much. It’s a lot of text that tells a story that doesn’t really need to be told. We get enough from the name and that last sentence, combined with a fun ability that matches the card. That’s all we need! Gotta simplify.

@ignorantturtlegaming​ — Dust, Revenant Force

For future cards, I would highly recommend reading up on design philosophy, what Magic’s colors are about, and how cards come into being. There are a lot of questions that this card raises, and a lot of things that need to be edited.

Green doesn’t get first strike, certainly not mono-green.

Why does this card cost five green mana? What does it provide for the limited/constructed environment?

It should be “Fox Warrior.”

The first thing about the flavor text is that there is far too much of it. It’s exposition for exposition’s sake. Fine in a high fantasy short story, but not on a Magic card.

The second thing about the flavor text is that Dust appears to be a white-aligned character through their actions and themes. I don’t feel anything green about them.

@juggernaut-is-a-metalhead — Devil’s Payment

I’m going easy on card art attribution since, well, it’s Disney and they are indeed evil, but in the future, please attribute it to the show itself and/or the director/copyright holder. So, the card itself. Is it supposed to be a common? Is it an homage to Cruel Bargain and Infernal Contract? This certainly isn’t a common effect, and for one mana, well, I don’t know what to say about this card. In terms of the flavor text, why is everything separated in lines like a poem? It’s way too long to fit into a card with three lines of rules text already. I don’t really understand what it’s even trying to say. The devil asked for the MAN’S youth. What does that has to do with his own? And why is it only sometimes capitalized? I don’t really understand this at all.

@koth-of-the-hammerpants — Hidden Bombardier

Great name. For the card text, it’s powerful, arguably fine in the right format, but very strong regardless. It also needs to say “It deals 3 damage” instead of just “Deal.” Gotta get past the 90′s, erryone. So now, the flavor text... I kinda get it? I just don’t understand what makes this card a shapeshifter. I don’t understand the world in which shapeshifters exist. This card feels like a Goblin. It’s an interesting kamikaze take, if a little too flowery and on-the-nose. It doesn’t exactly inform me, and it doesn’t exactly excite me.

@mardu-lesbian​ — Ballynock Adoptee

I had to look up to make sure that there were dwarfs on Lorwyn, and by golly, you’re right, there are! In RW hybrid in Eventide, anyway. And that brings up to a major story problem. By the introduction of dwarfs, the world has already plunged into Shadowmoor, and the thoughtweft has already been replaced with the mindweft. I’m stealing this from the wiki, so berate me if I’m wrong, but I always got the sense that the kithkin were highly xenophobic regardless of where the Great Aurora was. The jarring question that remains is: how does a non-kithkin creature become part of the thoughtweft/mindweft? It goes against what we know about the Kithkin and the world in general. If there’s a good explanation, I’m all ears, but I’m not convinced at this point in time.

@mistershinyobject​ — Phenax’s Messenger

Bonus judge trivia time: I studied Latin in high school and a little in college. From what I can tell about The Callapheia from other cards bearing it’s flavor text, it is meant to evoke classical poetry from Greek and Latin epics. The lines are written four at a time, indented carefully. HERE is a link to all cards with “Callapheia” in the flavor text. The gist is, this card does NOT evoke that. There’s a lot of text, a lot of quotes, a lot of forced story that could have been way punchier if you just had stuff about a snake eating a prophet. I love the card as a limited filler. But yeah, gotta do more research into what it means to have certain aspects on your cards.

@nicolbolas96​ — Unpredictable Betrayal

You know, it’s hard to evoke Nicol Bolas well in flavor text. He’s one of Magic’s major villains, a huge face of many sets, with years behind him. And honestly? You didn’t do a half-bad job in this flavor text. Props! That said, this card is way busted. For one, double strike doesn’t affect fighting at all, so that’s...something. For two, it would need to be three sentences; you did a run-on for that last one. For three, mechanically? This is a two-mana spell that eight times out of ten will absolutely destroy two creatures you don’t control. In limited, that’s insanely powerful. In any format that plays creatures, that’s usually amazingly good. There’s a reason spells like Blood Feud and Clash of Titans cost what they cost. Getting two creatures you don’t control to fight is powerful.

@nine-effing-hells​ — Cairn to Athusis

Actually, this card was one of my favorites from the contest. I’m a heavy Gruul player when I’m not playing cruel control, and I think the gist of this card is super interesting. You made it an enchantment artifact AND a shrine, giving flavor there as well to your new world. The only thing I would have changed is erasing that first sentence from your flavor text entirely. The second is so powerful that it stands on its own. It’s poetic without being overwrought, specific to the world and building off of known tropes. Also, it tells us that “orcs are RG in this world” which is a great mechanical touch. Just needed that little bit of trimming.

@real-aspen-hours​ — Deflect Consequences

Now this is an interesting card!... What practical use does it have? I’m curious what this has on something like Harmless Offering. I don’t believe that cast triggers will be affected. Maybe it would specifically go against things like “counter target spell you don’t control” or something, but if control changes... I’m uncertain of this card’s applications past the gimmick point. That said, it would be fun to cast a Leveler and have it enter the battlefield under an opponent’s control. I’m not in love with the flavor text. It’s fine. Doesn’t light my world on fire. A touch wordy. But it’s fine. Fits the name and the ability well, so that’s nice.

@reaperfromtheabyss​ — Inconquerable Alseid

Besides the fact that “Hope” should be lowercase and separated by a colon, the flavor text is really cool! I don’t like this card much. It’s honestly fine, and it’s an interesting commander card that could lead to some cool consequences, but there’s a reason Undaunted has reminder text. It doesn’t look good floating there by itself. There are some abilities that just need reminder text all the time, and Undaunted is on so few cards that it significantly needs this. I think I was a little too harsh on this card on my first go-around, but I haven’t warmed up to it yet. I think the great flavor could have been used on a simpler, more protective card.

@scavenger98​ — Kadalla the Scornful

I’m 99% sure it should go “First strike, deathtouch, haste.” Order of keywords is weird sometimes. So are creature types. I don’t really understand the world on which an Elf can be Mardu colors. It’s a stretch of the imagination to say the least. The card itself is...fine? I’d honestly make her an uncommon in today’s world. Yeah, she’s powerful, but she’s a 2/1 for three with all different mana symbols. Regarding the flavor, it’s well-worded, but it’s lengthy and doesn’t actually tell us anything about the character or the world. It doesn’t inform the card, and that’s its major misstep. Again, though, good writing.

@shandylamb​ — Multani’s Offspring

A fine card, a funny flavor. Just so you know, though, “Saproling” is pretty much only relegated to the token, and this card would probably see print as a plant or fungus. And additionally, as nice as the pun is... What’s this card even trying to say in the story? Multani’s only known child is Muldrotha, and that’s deep lore as-is. As funny as this card might be, it really doesn’t mesh with a Magic feel.

@starch255​ — Unscrupulous Horpske 

There are only two things I’m concerned about. Firstly: what about this creature makes it “unscrupulous?” What scruples does it have normally in its species? Secondly, this card is trying to make potato salad canon in the multiverse, and I don’t know if such a travesty would be allowed to happen. Potato salad is an affront to taste, no offense to the horpske.

Literally everything else about this card is a 10/10. I would also encourage you to work on a set symbol. Everyone should!

@teaxch​ — Hidden Seers

Interesting. So what timeline is this? Is this supposed to be, like, a return to Tarkir? Cool concept, I think, although I’m not entirely sold. After hearing the shaman’s whispers, why is Surrak’s first instinct to assume that without dragons a human would lead the clan? Wouldn’t the thought of a world without dragons evoke other thoughts and fears first? That’s my main hand-iffy-motion reason. This is also a supremely petty nitpick, probably the pettiest thing I’ve ever said about a card, but if this is the Dragon timeline then wouldn’t the watermark be the Atarka one instead of the Temur one?

@tmstage​ — Apostasy

Everything about this card is good...individually. Great name, but what does that have to do with the ability? What is it trying to depict? What does shuffling your library have to do with religious dogma? And the flavor text feels overbearing. Nykita as a character is someone I’d like to know more about, but this card doesn’t tell me much about her. It’s mostly that the mechanics and the flavor don’t mesh in the least, and, well, it’s not a good mechanic. Shuffling is time-consuming, game-prolonging, and has no discernible benefit to the game outside of incredibly niche cards that mostly don’t affect you as the player. And the more I read the flavor text, the less it makes sense. “Allow the world to deform your flawed notions?” It sounds awesome, but what does it mean?

~

Thank you all for your submissions. New contest tomorrow.