#and just writing what I want and acting like an adult and accepting that Internet points aren’t the only value

[ransomdemands]

//

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for snapping and scaring a kid?

Okay first, some background, I (F20) am a sorta bnf in a fandom I write and draw for and I am a group of roughly 10 other kinda bnfs who do the same and are all 20+.

We all reblog from each other and support each other, and one unique thing we also do is block minors who are open about being minors that we see anywhere and/or that interact with us.

We DM each other their usernames to weed them out of circle even though all of accounts are PG and do not have and dnis or warnings that minors will be blocked. We don't let anyone know we do this, make no posts about it, no warnings, they just get blocked without any exchange.

There's a few reasons why we do this:

to encourage kids to not let their age be publicly know.

to make sure kids are not getting normalized to interacting with strange adults online

kids, to put it kindly, are fucking lame once you become a certain age through no fault of their own. There's nothing in common after a while. They don't understand adult life and can't relate in the same way another adult can, and this is just no good reason for an unrelated strange adult online to let a kid interact with them that's sketchy and weird as shit

I grew up lurking and with strict internet safety lessons. Nowadays, kids seem to not know how to lurk and basic internet safety anymore. I've tried to make post upon post warning them of the dangers of putting personal information, especially their age, online, but it's done nothing to make the minors interacting to act more safely.

But me and my friend group have found that the only way to get kids to lurk and not put their age online like they should is if they get loose access the things they want because of their age is public.

So many of the kids who follow me have been blocked and they realized why they're getting blocked and came back on a much safer lurker account. I know I'm not the asshole for doing this and encouraging others to do this because ultimately it keeps the kid safer.

What I do think I may be the asshole is when one kid in particular, I'll call him X, spent months testing me to figure out and confirm that I was blocking minors who are open about their age and then spent weeks after that threatening to call me out and accused me of being agist, a pedophile because why am I so scared to interact with kids, and lying about being cis-queer because queers wouldn't discriminate like this.

At first he was was just the usual kiddo with his age in his bio, so I blocked him, and while I didn't notice it at first, he kept making more accounts with his age in the bio and following me. I caught on when I was curious about why do many 14 years olds were following me in a row because normally is varied from around 10 to 17, and I noticed similarities across the account and realized it was one kid desperately trying to following me.

I figured I just keep blocking until he figured out how to keep his age offline, and it seemed to work when I got followed by an identical account with the age missing from any posts and the bio. I let him keep following, not interacting because he's 14 and that'd be fucking weird, but then a week into following me on this new ageless account I got a DM.

It was full of screenshots of me blocking him on he openly a minor accounts and then him just accusing of what I said above. I blocked, not caring to respond to a 14 year old, but he keep making burners to DM more and more accusation.

I just kept blocking without responding, not wanting to waste my time, but then he treatened to call me out for being all those things. I've seen first hand how life ruining those accusation and false callouts can be, how people see those accusations and do no research and let their instinctual disgust and fear of those people drive the accused to going offline or even committing suicide.

I did not want this, and the fact that this may become a possibility due to a kid who just couldn't accept not everyone wants known minors following them, made me super pissed off.

And so to "scare him straight" and to prevent him from making this callout post, I photoshopped screenshots of both a police and cyperbulling report being submitted and police thanking me for reporting this and how they'll check it out.

At the time, still being super angry, it was very satisfying to see him come apologizing, saying he'll stop stalking me, and asking for me to tell the police and cyberbulling that it was a fake report and that it's been handled.

I didn't bother responding and just blocked him, and this time, he didn't make another burner. In fact, he deleted all his accounts.

A few months have past, and now that my anger has melted into annoyance, and that annoyance into realization I may have went too far.

X, while annoying, and could have really hurt me with a fake callout, is at the end of the day, 14, still a little kid.

X probably just didn't know better and I could have just tried to talk to him and reason rather then scaring him. I feel especially bad because if he was a POC and/or an abuse victim still living with his abusers he may have and possibility still be fearing for his life. Also it made me look like a bootlicker and I would kill myself before I ever support a cop

So I'm wondering now if I may have been the asshole here for snapping and scaring a kid

What are these acronyms?

[the-badger-mole]

NO CAUSE THIS BLOG IS A GODSEND.

Like me? I don't hate Aang. Or at least I'm trying not to, because it feels weird to me (personally) to hate a child, when he's just the product of some REALLY SKEWED WRITING.

But EVERY TIME I SEE AN ANALYSIS ON ATLA AND HOW AANG REALLY JUST. Was not it. It gets a little harder to not be a hater (I do my best though) AND I HAVE TO SAY. I absolutely adore how open you are with just. Hating him. Like I'm not even being sarcastic, it's just really refreshing to see someone so willing to express their pure, unfiltered opinion on a character. Especially now, where most people are concerned with impressions, or like offending people, it's just like a splash of cold water(in a good way, I love cold water) to see someone be so clear and unafraid to just. Hate on him (IN A GOOD WAY).

Along with the fact that so many people like to act like Aang is a perfect child, or that he's "only 12 so he doesn't know any better". I can't stand it when people excuse their favourite characters' flaws in favour of only seeing a perfect character.

Coz like. Do you really like a character if you're not seeing them/accepting them fully? Like, they're your favourite. But are you really appreciating them if you're not accepting criticism of them? Because then you're actively rejecting their flaws, which are still a part of that character. You're rejecting an entire aspect of their character. Which I feel is like. Chopping the character in half. It's not real appreciation, if that makes sense??

SORRY THIS GOT A LITTLE LONG, I GOT KIND OF AGITATED. BUT WHAT I MEANT TO SAY IS THAT I LOVE THAT YOU HATE ON AANG EVEN IF I DON'T HATE ON HIM.

I really hope I didn't come off as offensive (or rambly), because I REALLY DO MEAN THIS IS A GOOD WAY

First, I just want to say, it's totally alright to hate a FICTIONAL child (ask a few parents how they felt about Caillou. Go ahead. Prepare to hear some thoughts...). The thing about hating fictional children is that you're not hating on an actual flesh and blood human. You're hating a construct created by adults who should know better (especially in this case). You're hating tropes and traits and maybe even character design . That is not the same as hating a person, no matter what Aang stans try to tell you. You don't have to hate Aang, but you don't have to feel bad if you do hate him, either.

I will never stop voicing my opinion because strangers on the internet don't like it. It's a cartoon. It has no bearing on anyone's life (except maybe Bryke, I guess? ). I'm still having fun revisiting the show, and talking about it on this site (and only this site), but that's all it is. A fun way to waste time. Anyone who is personally offended by my not liking Aang (or Mai, or Azula, or any other character we disagree on), has a personal problem. An internal problem. One I hope they can recognize and grow from before they encounter people with different opinions in the wild.

[m-ilkiee]

Lol you and everyone else can complain on the internet as long as your not trying to hurt anyone. If you’re really so mad about a persons post, you can always block them too, it’s a two way street. That’s all, good luck with your hate filled life 🫡

First of all, it's not your, it's you're, as in you are. Get it right.

Secondly, fuck off. No seriously, fuck off. I just want to read fanfics in peace, I don't want to see people complain about what they don't like that isn't relevant. You people have ZERO etiquette and decorum and it shows. You think because you just turned eighteen you know everything and you're so smart and everyone writing dark content is gross and evil when you're nothing but a mannerless spoiled little fuck.

You may be an adult in age, but you still act and think like a neonate who cannot understand why people write fiction. You disrespect others and what they write when they are just trying to exist on the internet, tagging their shit and expect people not to disrespect you right back, but that's not going to happen. Leave your fucking purity culture and stupidity at the door cause no one will be taking that shit from you. You can't post shit about dark content and not expect someone to clock your tea.

And take your fuck ass advice instead of inciting hatred against dark content writers. You either accept that we have our own space here and shut the fuck up or leave this app. Tumblr is not for you.

[ichangedmymind2]

an actual defense of Lily Orchard or how I came to be radicalized by an unjust society and modern internet culture

I don't know how to phrase it other than, like, I think the more I learn about this person it makes me reflect on how the internet itself has kind of forgotten its 'roots'. Well, perhaps more that the internet was kind of the native lands of the weirdest strangest nerd people you can imagine. Or at least, in a sense, anyone could pitch their flag and exist in a way that made sense to them, even if it was just a temporary fantasy. A way to manifest a better version of someone you cannot really be in the real world. A place of direct expression and creativity and communication. If we are to foster justice in a society of idiosyncratic individuals its kind of hard to do so when we retroactively remove humanity from those who have no recourse to defend themselves. I see how Lily Orchard is treated and I can't help but feel that everybody keeps making the same mistake regarding this person, victims or otherwise. If this is to have begun with Lily being abused as a child and functionally never 'growing up' as a person as a result, why should we as people continue the cycle of abuse? Its kind of disgusting to me how so many people so desperately want Lily to react, to conform with a level of 'awareness' or 'shame' about anything and everything they did or didn't do. Why? If they are that same little girl who was abused by an adult, someone she thought she could trust, why should she trust anyone ever again? No really, why? Do you actually care about Lily? You talk of people as cursed artifacts that can be whisked away with a few magic words. Secured from the hands of the unscrupulous, a threat to liberate others from. When Hot Allostaic Load was written, it was perhaps the greatest most pertinent piece of writing in regards to how trans women are treated even in the most safest accepting of places. How they are desperately unsafe even in those places, how fast they can be othered and demonized and sacrificed to sate the bizarre insecurities of anyone else. And I feel like, even as old as the writing is, it still holds as the penultimate example of how trans annihilation is a woeful default setting in 'society' in so many aspects. From how people perceive trans women, even children, as threats. How people project the worst aspects of themselves upon them with an uncanny instantaneous retroactive fervor.

Why wouldn't I be skeptical of how Lily Orchard is treated as a trans woman. it gets to be so much, I have to wonder if tolerance and empathy isn't a real thing at all. Just a cute gratuity, a turn of phrase. A way to express some kind of understanding but without the comprehension required of it.

Heaven help you if you are a total fuckup and you hurt people because it is by your nature to fuckup. Is this world not for you? Are you not allowed the dignity of humanity but to be cast as some kind of primordial wretched beast that has to be shunned lest the contamination spread? What about that phrase, it holds true: Hurt People, Hurt People. Lily Orchard is the poster child for this in the most literal sense. She was hurt, but then we have the gall to act as if its something uniquely devastating or strange when she hurts others? Well, I apologize, but I can't just do it anymore. I feel bad if people are hurt, but after a certain point folks have to stop expecting more from a person who never really shown any inclination toward anything but toxic interpersonal interactions due to trauma. You all want something from this person, and all you ever get is the worst of yourself. I keep seeing this time and time again. It doesn't matter who it is. When someone is subject of such intense stigma, even if its supposedly warranted. So what? They have no meaningful power. They cannot actually hurt you in any way that they've already been. Its all a mass delusion. There is nothing here, just a weird nerdy little girl who was abused a child and the consequences from that. Exercised again and again and again and again and again.

[bloodsweatandpotato]

So tired of the “proship” “anti ship” discourse. Like. Fuck, guys. In the nicest possible way, go outside and interact with some people who aren’t on the internet. I’ve seen people being like “any age gap over two years is problematic”. My parents have a ten year age gap. We need to put the word “problematic” on a shelf until everyone learns critical thinking.

Fictional characters are not real people and cannot feel anything. Content you write/consume of fictional characters does not “show what you want to do irl”. If it did, every person who has ever watched or made a horror movie would be in jail right now.

People are fucking dying every day from war. Whether the relationship of the pixels on the screen would be “morally correct” if they were suddenly somehow real people is not important.

It’s okay to have weird kinks and fetishes. People with kinks and fetishes understand the difference between fantasy and reality. Consenting adults having sex irl is none of anyone’s business. And if those adults make/consume content of their sexual fantasies, who fucking cares?

Fiction about problematic things doesn’t fucking “normalize” it. If someone writes a story where a 15 year old character and a 30 year old character are in a relationship, it’s still going to be illegal irl. No judge is going to accept “well your honor I read it in a fanfic so I thought it was okay”, and no person with any modicum of common sense or morals would be driven to do criminal acts by a work of fiction.

Am I going to be fucking sus of the guy who draws exclusively “loli” porn and stay as far away from him as possible. Yes. God yes. Am I going to harass the person who fantasizes about their favorite character “overpowering them and corrupting their innocence”. No? Why the fuck would I harass someone who is just minding their own business.

Will I gag at the person who draws ship art of siblings? Yes! I fucking will. I don’t ship those characters. I don’t like that ship. I think it’s disgusting. Will I call them slurs and tell them to seek help?? No! It’s fucking fiction. If they find the idea hot then who am I to care. As long as they tag it properly, keep it away from me, and don’t hurt real people there is literally no reason for me to care.

I’m not using the “proship” label because god that’s a can of worms and I don’t particularly ship anything “problematic”?? Or even like “problematic” ships. But I’m definitely not an “anti shipper” because god what the fuck chill out ya’ll. What if we dropped this whole “pro/anti” thing and just like…. Used critical thinking. And stopped being mean to each other.

This is a personal vent/rant that is not targeted at anyone. I just got angry while scrolling Pinterest. If you disagree with my points, ignore me. I am not in the mood for an argument.

[shizazz420]

Dear Invader Zim Community

Hey. You may know me by many things. shtass, shizazz, smeebmob, smeeb, or most unfortunately, Inky's (also known as Inky Shitp0st, brainrotart, snaxart6, rotten ink, basically the creator of the Invader Zim Demon/Angel AU and the Killer Dib AU etc etc) partner. Inky, one of the most infamous people in the IZ community, was my partner for nearly 3 years. I am here to say that I am sorry I ever supported or believed them and their lies. This is my apology.

I know "sorry" doesn't cut it. I have defended some truly heinous things that I was made to believe were false accusations. Knowing what I know now, I look back on that time with shame. Shame that I let him get away with everything he did to not just others, but myself. It is not fair to anyone that I stood by his side and let his victims be harassed off of the internet or into hiding. It is not even fair to him. He was robbed of an opportunity to learn from his actions, and now continues to repeat them to this day as a legal adult. I forgive unconditionally, but I will never, ever trust him or forget what he did. Everything from grooming, abuse, sexual harassment, even to the horrific things he portrayed in his Killer Dib and Demon/Angel AUs. I'm all for dark fiction and creative freedom, but I draw the line when the writer genuinely thinks the things they are writing about are okay or acceptable in any circumstance in real life. And they did.

I will not go into detail here, but long story short, they abused me, cheated on me, betrayed me, lied to and about me, and much more, all while treating me in such a way that convinced me I did not deserve better.

But most of all, I am sorry for what I allowed him to do to the Invader Zim and ZaDr communities-- the communities that I have loved for years and always were my safe space. He singlehandedly split certain areas of it apart. He has done worse than what you all know and continues his disgusting behavior to this day. The horrific stories he produced were projections of his own mind, and he later acted on those thoughts to varying degrees. The police will be getting involved.

I am sorry to the minors he groomed and manipulated.

I am sorry for the person who I will refer to as Sia for him taking advantage of your unstable state and obsessive personality to later demonize you after he lied to you about me.

I am sorry to everyone who tried to help and support him for your time wasted, as he refused any real help.

I am sorry to everyone who he has lied about and to.

I am sorry for everything.

I am not innocent. I will be exposing my own faults along with his in due time. I only hope that even a few of you will lend your support during this time and help me and his other victims bring him to justice.

And to a certain person who may or may not be reading this... get out of there. You are too young for him and he is an adult. Stop telling him you love him. Stop shipping your characters together. Get out. I know you don't like me, and that's fine. But I don't want him to make another person into a husk of what they once were.

If you have any questions, anyone reading this, I will answer them. Thank you for reading.

[shamelessrabbithole]

i’m probably late to the party about noel and all but i wanted to throw my two cents in that discussion! i think we sometimes forget that actors/celebrities are just normal people like us and they’re not obliged to look a certain way to make us happy or anything like that. i don’t mean that we can’t have opinions (as i, for example, don’t like certain look choices of cam from recent years) but i think that speculating on wherever noel has some mental illness due to how he dresses and takes care of himself, isn’t exactly the best thing. to me the answer is very simple: noel is a normal guy who likes to wear cozy clothes and is comfortable in his own skin and with the concept of aging (that could mean accepting his hair getting thin and such— even tho to me it doesn’t look as tragic as people make it sound, he simply keeps them short and being light colour makes it look like it sometimes) he’s a guy, an adult. he surely flirts with his wife, he swears, tells dirty jokes and fucks around (he drinks, gets drunk and such) i don’t even think he sees himself as popular or anyone ‘important’ so he doesn’t have the need to appear in a certain way to the public. like, i think he’s okay with doing ‘low-key’ acting jobs instead of big franchise (not saying he wouldn’t like it but i don’t think he loses sleep from that) cameron said he’s trying to convince noel to do more and imo it doesn’t mean that noel is depressed or whatever (he could have some issues or not, anything is possible but we shouldn’t assume things like that) to me, until proven differently, noel is cozy and doesn’t want to be everywhere and do everything like cam does. cause cameron is the type of person who wants more and more and be famous, recognised and stuff. noel is just a dude chilling in his garden, having fun with his lowkey friends. he simply happens to be an actor and it’s a bit sad that just because of his career choice and how he decides to live his ‘famous life’— people will judge and think he’s not doing okay.

i personally don’t go out much, if not needed, when i do i just pick the first things i find which sometimes can be the same clothes i wore to my latest outing as 1- i don’t use it often as i don’t go out much 2- washing machines exist!

probably there’s this strong feeling towards noel’s appearance because he’s often confronted with cameron who’s always trying to find new things to do, new styles to try and always be talked about. not everyone is the same and wants much from their life/career.

sometimes i think of it and it makes me sad, ive followed shameless since the beginning and i saw how noel went from being just a guy interacting with fans of the tv show, having normal interactions like i would with anyone on the internet. sharing songs, books, his silly thoughts/jokes. the day he stopped it made me sad as it was due to fans judging, demanding and treating him and everyone else in the cast like they owe them something. it would be overwhelming as hell for me tbh.

i’m all in for gossips and such, i discuss here a lot and i like to see silly things like ranking of hairs and such but sometimes i feel like some people forget that we all are people with feelings. it’s like the internet anonymity makes people incredibly mean and bitter, we need to take a step back sometimes

Thanks for your ask. I agree with a lot of what you said. I just want to clarify that when anons write in to lament how rough and mean-spirited people have gotten in their critiques of Noel, they're not necessarily pointing out the posts on this particular blog. They mean in general because it's gotten bad elsewhere, out there.

So, sensitivities (including my own) may be running high, not because anons here have been hitting below the belt, but that Noel-bashing is becoming the new normal and it's not slowing down. In fact, the more visible he is, the more he's picked apart. There was a time on this blog where a Noel sighting was beyond rare and anons mostly were sad over his complete disappearance. I think some people ought to recall how much worse it is when he hibernates and not lose sight of that. Or, simply move on and stan someone they find more appealing.

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

I need to throw away my 'anonymous' mask for this because I can't bear with the weight of it any more. Plus, it makes me feel like I have something to hide, while in reality, I am a 27-year-old adult with a lot of adult-like obsessions, and I honestly have nothing to hide. 🥲🫶 There, I said it...

First of all, the noona obsessed over Hyunjin from a while ago... that's me. And that happened after I read your readings about him (especially 18+) and some other answers to asks about him. Never have I ever thought I would think about him as a 'prey' because of our age gap. Well, now sounds like it's me, I am THE prey to his gorgeousness (is this even a word, though?). 😆😆 Prey to his whole existence, it I dare to say. 🥲🫶

Now to the main point... The BtoB Minhyuk obsession is also me. 🥲 You asked to spill tea why my Hyunjin obsession is dirtier, but actually, the moment I wrote that ask, I meant it the other way around. I kinda developed dirtier thoughts about Minhyuk in the start. Well, because Minhyuk is older than me, and I thought it sounded more logical to do so... BUT, after I wrote that ask, some things have changed. I saw the actual 'mommy Hyunjin' in the SKZ Code episode, and I was like.... OMG, this creature is gorgeous. Like... Please understand me when I say this, but Hyunjin has never looked so majestic while cross-dressing for the SKZ family concept. That short bob wig was a no-go for me. And while Minhyuk does look like a greek god type of creature, Hyunjin is just effortlessly ethereal. So, here's the deal... although I have imagined doing dirtier things with Minhyuk then I would with Hyunjin, after just a short while my head was like 'Nina, Hyunjin IS dirtier and sexier in bed, so Minhyuk probably wouldn't do half of those things to you. Everything you want screams HYUNJIN.' 🥹🥹

I have been writing poems and short paragraphs (imagine kinda things) for a while, but I actually sat down to write a smutty episode about what I imagine the night with Hyunjin to be like. 😆 I am embarrassed to talk about it, but it exists, lol... I hope I hid it somewhere safe (as I tend to write on paper, not in computer... What a crazy romantic person I am huh).

You were interested in what those 'dirty' details were, I believe. Well, actually, there is no heavy bdsm and nothing close to degradation or too much pain. When it comes to Hyunjin, the dirtiness of my thoughts lies in the dollification kink and some other fetishes of mine (hands, thighs...). that's it 🥲🥲🫶

Tumblr seems to be the only place I can share this all in though. 😅💛 Thank you for reading all this nonsense 🥲🥲🥲

P.S. If you're familiar with what Succubus and Incubus are, well, Hyunjin would make an excellent Incubus. I would not regret dying making love with him 😆🥹 I hope someone writes a good smut on that sometime 🥲🥲🫶

Hello @kimnina96 and it's so great to finally speak with you over the internet plane!!!

And you don't have anything to hide at 27 because I feel like most people will just accept your adult obsessions at your age, at least the mature ones will.

Hyunjin's presence is so powerful that I sometimes forget that I am older than him because he doesn't act his age but he's only 2 youngers than me which is nothing in Australian age.

So, yeah, we might be older than age but maybe not stronger in strength haha.

I definitely see what you mean in they have VERY different types of beauty, Minhyuk is a Sagittarius stellium so he looks like a centaur and has that masculine 'Michaelangelo' attraction because his body...omg it's like he was carved by marble itself.

Whereas Hyunjin's Pisces stellium gives him an otherworldly presence, especially when he has his long, dark hair because it adds to his 'supernatural' vibes.

You write poems? On paper? Ahh my heart! That's so beautiful and it's a dying art form, I feel that's such a beautiful hobby and I'd love to read one sometime if you ever feel comfortable with it.

Okay but like...Hyunjin being the doll or Hyunjin making you the doll? Because they would be beautiful and majestic in both ways.

There are so many dollification fics here with Hyunjin and *chefs kiss*, they are an EXPERIENCE TO READ AND SO ACCURATE!

Tumblr is a great place you can just release all your intrusive thoughts with very little consequences.

And he suits being an incubus so well and I'm sure I've read fics of Incubus!Hyunjin, particularly with this fit.

Artist of the month Hyunjin is such an underrated Hyunjin look that I hope we'll see again.

And I'm also jealous of how quickly Hyunjin's hair grows, the man must have Hercules strong hair with how quickly it grows after receiving a lot of damage of bleach.

[memes-in-a-half-shell]

It might be because of Rise, But What the heck is going with the tmnt fandom? Like where is all this hate coming from in reference to be people shipping themselves with the turtles? Like i could understand if it was about them Actually being Turtles but its not. its about aging them up, its about TMNT x Reader in any form of relationship like not even just smut and i don't understand it. I was 10 when the 2007 movie came out and i INSTANTLY fell in love with Ralph, 15 when when 2012 show came out and i shipped myself so hard with Leo Like the fanfics that I've read would make anyone blush. Now that I'm older I may not be as much of fangirl over them but like i still like reading an ''X Reader" from time to time but I've been seeing so much hate for even thinking about aging them up. Like if this is something you've grown up with you're going to age them up and see how they would live life at an older age. Besides we have multiple iterations of the Turtles as Adults sooo I just thought you might know why or could give some kind of explanation of where this distain is coming from. I feel like its because the Rise Turtles are the youngest acting iteration we've seen so far. But as a fandom elder I'm kind of confused.

what in the tarnation...

That was quite a read this morning xD

First of all, I dunno why I would have an answer, to be honest. I'm basically just a 30 years something goblin that stays in her corner and keep on doing her things without attracting drama and hate 🤷‍♀️ I got no time and energy for that.

Second, people will be people. Simple as that. Not everyone has the same tastes. Not everyone will like the same things. For instances, I'm personally not a huge fan of nsfw content for the other iterations of TMNT - I wouldn't touch Rise with a 10 feet pole in regards to creating nsfw content. The Bayverse ones are the only ones because they appeal to my creativity. They look good. And frankly it's easier to imagine that iteration to be close to my age (personally, I HC Donnie to be my age when I write and draw stuff about him....).

I have indeed seen a lot of discourse about that matter on some corners of the internet. Both sides makes sense, but what matters most in the end is that as long as no one hurts anyone, it's all fine and dandy. Heck, we are responsible for our own internet experience. That's something a loooooot of people tend to forget, hence why they bring down the so called "hammer of justice" on others and try to control what they post about.

Bullshit on that. Do what makes you happy.

Do the stuff for you. Don't harm minors. And especially don't push your content to people who may be unwilling to accept it. As long as people are not writing and/or drawing the gang as minors, then I don't see the issue.

I've had my fair share of fandom bullshit. I now know that this experience is my own, I can shape it however I want, and I can share it however I want. People who happen to like my stuff are only a added bonus.

[proshiphasfailed]

Honestly as someone who used to consider themself "pro-para" I just wanted to share my thoughts? No need to share if you don't want to though.

On a surface level, I get why some want the groups to be connected. As a proshipper, I think people have the right to read and write what they want. If someone is reading/writing something because of a paraphilia, I don't really mind that. You can't exactly read someone's mind as for why they choose to enjoy something.

The issue is that pro-para spaces DO enable abuse and abusers. There are pro-para people who are anti-contact, but, unfortunately, WAY too many people in the community are either pro-contact (for paraphilias that cannot be acted on consensually) or at least okay with pro-cs. Minors are often accepted into the community. I don't know if I'd call it "grooming" exactly because I don't like to misuse that term, but it's certainly taking in minors that are vulnerable (often ones who have experienced trauma and may or may not actually have a paraphilia in the first place) and letting them talk about sexual things and trauma with online adults. That's not safe.

In theory, yes, I don't think someone is defined by their thoughts as long as they don't act on them, but, if nothing else, it gives proshippers a bad name to be tied to a community that has such genuine problems. Many people are already under the mistaken assumption that "proshipper" equals "pedophile" and it ultimately gets kind of hard to refute that when actual pedophiles are insisting that being a pedo and being pro-ship do go hand in hand.

The issue with minors is really bad, there is a lot of overlap with SH/ED spaces and I would say at least 30% of the people in the community are minors. And many paraphiles defend this because “kids can be paraphiles too”, if that is the case is the answer to that an unregulated, sexually charged, community full of people eager to exploit them? What are they doing to protect the minors in their community? Because it seems like they just roll their eyes and go “well I wanted to fuck dogs when I was 10 so I don’t see the problem.”

I am a survivor of grooming from predators on the internet as a child as are a lot of the minors in this space. I was able to get away from abusers and recognize the ideas they were putting into my head were wrong, and not end up as a “big 3” paraphile. I recognize that that won’t be the case for everyone who goes through that unfortunately, but I think going directly from being abused into a space where the ideas you got from the confusion of your abuse are encouraged is not giving someone the chance to have a recovery remotely close to that. The child can unpack their feelings when theyre older, they don’t need to be told what happened to them was sexy.

[kellodrawsalot]

Hey I want to answer this @archangelic-aeon​

short version: A lot of Sonic fans are just fucking weird, Sailor Moon’s fandom has excited just as long as Sonic and sells more merch, yet the bad part of that fandom was never as bad as Sonic.

As someone who has been in the Sonic fanbase for a long time I'm not saying this to be a dick

People have send death threats to Pontac, Sonic fans were setting up protest posters because the voice cast was replaced back in 2006, Satam fans build a life-size Sally acorn, Satam fans were trying to create fake accounts to pretend the freedom fighters were going to appear in the Sonic games, one vandalized a store because they were upset that Sonic’s arms were blue in Sonic Boom.

 and the less i say about Ken Penders the better,

every fandom has its problems, but I feel Sonic’s fan base is unique, as in too many adults in the fandom have a hard time accepting the fact that they might have just grown out of Sonic or that SonicTeam/Sega’s quality control on the blue hedgehog is fickle at best. Sometimes it also feels that many Sonic fans hyperfixate on Sonic that they can’t help but keep reading a comic they despise, because they barely read anything else  or they keep coming back to it because it has Sonic in it. (I can relate. I might have dropped the comic a long time ago but I keep giving Sonic products a chance in the hopes I enjoy them despite my gut-feeling warning me, I’m still hopeful, crossing my fingers )

The other big problem is, that with internet today, toxic fans can find each other easier, and they will enable each other, they befriend and support the negativity among them, and group mentality like that will often encourage one of them to keep going further and further. More and more people have unhealthy relationships with the consent they consume. They think they are being a ‘’good ’fan that knows what is good for Sonic the Hedgehog, when the truth is Sonic is making them toxic and aggressive towards other people. That’s a sign where you need to stop, that isn’t love that’s just poison. You are acting like a rude jackass because of a blue cartoon hedgehog. 

 But trust me, most people that dislike Flynn’s writing aren’t this weird. Toxic fans just sadly scream the loudest. I’just can’t stand some of his references, for example ahhhh and many other reasons but this post is already getting too long lol

[confusedgoldenflower]

First to add to fiercynn’s great addition, I want to highlight that those same things happen especially also with female characters who “are in the way” of the gay ships and turn them into ridiculous, shallow non-characters. And a lot of afabs are in fandom, reading these stories, seeing the—probably—internalized mysogony on full display just so the shit author can have an easy time instead of actually writing.

There’s so much I want to say but my brain just cannot.

‘Urgh me writing horrible noncon and pushing it out for everyone to see and be normalized is perfectly okay and not at all impacts my anti rape morals!!!! What happens in my brain and what’s reality is dIfFeReNt!’

No, that doesn’t sound right.

First of all, intrusive thoughts and/or maladaptive daydreaming don’t make someone bad. Obviously. Of course. But hey, the internet will say you’re being ace erasure-ist when that’s literally what your calling out🙄. But for someone to look at themselves and say hey, I think I’m just gonna choose to allow my brain to go on these dark, disturbing tangents instead of stopping and saying “hey, wtf, that’s not right, I think I’ll change the direction or stamp this thought/daydream out entirely.”

I had that issue, but I’ve managed to condition myself to STOP going on disgusting mental tangents about the worst things happening to characters/people and interupt my intrusive thoughts! Guess what, I feel a hell of a lot better with less happenings of these thoughts/daydreams. I really never wrote down that shit to begin with and I’m really glad I didn’t add to this cesspool of just this nastiness for the sake of nastiness.

Which brings me to torture porn (insert whatever “character torturing” you like, I’d rather not make a list) for the sake of it and indulgently so.

I get coping art. I get exploratory art. But that shit doesn’t have to be published where everyone can see it and where it helps to normalise absolutely horrible things. Stories in which it’s used genuinely and not as some qUirKy ThIs Is HoW i Am DiFfErEnT aNd My LiFe SuCkS backstory/tool. And especially it’s not coping art if shit like noncon, pedophilia, necrophilia, incest, etc is treated POSITIVELY by the characters/story.

I don’t care how old or mature YOU are, that doesn’t mean the rest of everyone consuming/seeing this are too, and I don’t know how you’ve missed it but the media influences us. All of us. Especially young people who have no choice but to believe that the things on TV—because it’s TV and we assume a demonstration of the world—are normal or acceptable. Especially ND kids look to media for how to act. (Kids shows have morals and language arts classes push you to take lessons from stories but suddenly you’re a horrible person for taking anything away from “adult” media.)

If you can’t understand that, I guess you’re not as mature as you like to think.

If you read and/or write some dark stuff sometimes out of curiosity or goose-necking a train wreck, that’s understandable. However, if you ENJOY that shit and do it A LOT, that’s a red flag. 🚩🚩🚩 ESPECIALLY if you get off to it because a climax is one of the most powerful positive reinforcements.

Besides, there’s rumor that your brain cannot actually understand that that fake guy, who you feel enough for to twist your own guts when he gets hurt, isn’t actually real. I haven’t been able to get deep into this but besides that, how should anyone expect someone to treat the people they encounter in real life, including online because that’s also fucking real, with basic human decency if they’re torturing their favorite character with tentacles in their head most of the time. That sounds like normalizing that sort of shit to yourself if you’re just letting those thoughts go or actively choosing that thought train rather than pushing back. Even if you don’t have the energy to craft some elaborate plot or whatever, how can you not think “I don’t like this so I’m gonna stop there and distract myself with something else.”

If that asinine thought process is true, then why would we call out grooming media like Pretty Little Liars and Lolita because it teaches kids that it’s okay to be hurt like that, and predators that what they’re doing is fine. If that was true, why would there be push back on the rampant sa in media which just lets disgusting pieces of shit know they’re fine and everyone does, it and that victims should shut the fuck up because that’s just how it is. If you force objectively asexual characters into sexual situations, how the fuck can anyone trust you’d respect a *real* ace.

If you write or consume dark shit and ENJOY it and think there’s nothing wrong with what op said, block me. Do us both a favor. Besides, why the fuck do you want to do horrible things to people so damn bad. What’s wrong with you.

DNI esp ppl who think noncon is sexy.

I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:

Fictional characters are objects.

They are not people. You cannot "objectify" them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot "disrespect" them, because they are not real.

[ghostingcrows]

Like it or not Keath doesn't get to control what other people think about their characters/what art gets made.

They chose to display these things publicly. The only thing they have a right to ask is that the people who draw/write the things they don't like won't send their work to them/tag them in it/that it'll be tagged appropriately so they can filter and block as needed.

They don't get to go full Anne Rice like they did on Twitter and ask people to actually police each other's work and report it to get copyright striked (which btw they have no legal right to do bc fanworks are transformative and fall under fair use).

If they weren't prepared to enforce their boundaries reasonably and legally then they shouldn't have put themselves in the public eye this way.

The fact remains that their discomfort is valid but censorship isn't. Any reaction they have to their emotions has to happen within legal boundaries (not trying to enforce a law that doesn't apply here to avoid potentially seeing something they'll find upsetting) and reasonable expectations.

I mean how are you going to ask thousands of people you don't know not to do something just because if you see it you'll be upset? Where does that end? Do people get to ask e/o not to wear clothes they find upsetting to look at or eat food they find gross in public or can we all admit this is kind of not how being a person works? Learn to curate your own experience and avoid things you don't want to see instead of expecting everyone around you to take responsibility for your emotions. You're not a toddler, Keath, you're a fucking adult and you need to act like it.

I mean I really really hate foot fetishes but I wouldn't try to get them scrubbed from the internet if people made them with my characters- in fact I've accepted that this has almost certainly happened already, and I'd just remember that block buttons were invented for exactly this reason.

Oh and before you even start on the assumptions:

- I haven't even seen the art they're complaining about and probably wouldn't like it myself

- The Chappell thing is another matter entirely and idk why you thought they belonged in the same post/are at all related issues. One is about a woman wanting the freedom to go out in public without being physically assaulted or harassed. The other is about a grown adult getting mad that they willingly posted something publicly in an internet they have presumably known things about already and as a result can't control who sees it or how they react. I mean ffs Keath can eliminate this whole problem by turning off their computer/phone/whatever and whatever they were upset about is gone. Chappell is having psychos call her parents and sexually assault her in public. What sane person thinks those are comparable?

Good lord-

Alright first off I included Chappell Roan because I was specifically thinking about people complaining about her cancelling her appearance at the music festival and being absolute assholes to her despite the fact she doesn't have to perform or share her art with us especially not when we are being assholes

Also

Don't fucking mansplain womens freedom to exist in public to me I am very much AFAB and have been harassed both verbally and physically in school and in public since I was in elementary school

And with Yaelokre

Thats not what censorship is you chronically online fuck stick

Yaelokre making the simple request that people treat them and their creations, which again are a PRIVILEGE for us to see and engage with ourselves, with a bare level minimum of respect is not fucking censorship

Yaelokre is not the fucking government and as you said they can't enforce it beyond blocking people

But they are still allowed to request people not be weird about it and be upset by people making absolutely horrible gross jokes about assaulting their characters

I'm not entirely sure when we decided that saying shit like that was normal and okay and not an absolutely bat shit insane thing to say to ANYONE much less someone you don't know but it IS

[violetsystems]

#personal

Not unlike the gnome, this spot has long been my corner of the internet to piss in. I certainly don't think of it like that though in worse times I've trauma dumped my share in this void. Has it really changed anything? Not in the real world in the slightest. So you wonder if you've just disappeared from relevance completely at times. Which doesn't track very well when you catch a pattern of behavior with people in real life that feels worse than espionage. It's a weird headspace to be in lately. Having a paycheck but having no real way to change the things around you. Often I feel like an actor playing a role in which nobody gave me the script out there. I can be a good actor when I'm in the zone. I have no idea what the plot is or the outcome. In a country that claims to be free you would assume that this is in your power. To wrangle the narrative back. To write three paragraphs deep down in the dark and hope sane people read it and realize that you are not acting. That everything you've said constituted the thoughts of an actual person with human emotions that have been hurt worse than I could put back together myself. And yet I do. And this is probably barebones what is expected of a cis hetero white male in 2024. That part isn't really an argument to me and never has been. I am also not anywhere near a dominant power or some sort of collective force. I've always just been Tim. However quirky, oblivious to the social order, or blue sky scenario I can be? There are times I cannot go back to. I used to work at an art school and it used to be a place that felt like a community. Until I was ghosted and abandoned by it like some sort of art piece. I work in a different school and a different community. I still feel just as isolated if not worse. If you are going to follow someone around and keep track of them for years without elaborating on the point? I mean I get it sort of. If somebody wanted to know what I was about they could just ask me. And they never do. I think people are afraid to elaborate sometimes. Or it is surrounded by so much political red tape that people would rather default to their own silly lives and drama. I have never been married. Never had kids. Had a really long term relationship that ended and a bunch of tragically normal shit happen after. I took time to be by myself. A lot of time. That was explained in great detail in posts nobody seemingly reads.

I can write about this every week and it does just get worse. And I've attempted to apply the same logic as to why when I feed the stock market with money I'm supposed to save for retirement it automatically disappears in value. I am a person deep down that learns rather definitively over time. There's a point I reach where I can no longer be hustled in good faith. That taking advantage of a person knowing that it will eventually work out for them someday is definitely not my story. But I deserve it because I don't typically fit into some movement or community you can control. Other than Tumblr. Which for the record has been a community for however weird, hard to understand and complex it is? Much more understandable about what is expected from me in terms of rules of engagement and learning how to accept healthy boundaries. I wonder sometimes if that people in public have been watching my behavior so long that they think that's how I want to be treated in public. "Oh that's his thing." They gossip in the streets. Who is he? Does he have a name? Have you ever asked him his name? Have you ever interacted with him as a human being other than giving him quarters for laundry? I have had more valid social interaction and cues from liking someone's content anonymously than I have had in public. And I am a person who actually has to deal with the normal world often. A responsible adult comparatively to the other adults who control, bully, and manipulate their way through a system that says it plays fair. It doesn't. I think what I come up against in terms of an invisible wall in society is fear. The thing holding us all back from being ourselves. Or at least expressing ourselves how we actually envision. This is why I really like the idea of Pride. Repression is all around us. No matter if you are gay or straight. And the revolution around it is meant to be constructive and not the riot against norms as was a necessity back in the day. The norms keep getting worse. And I never really understood how allies didn't understand how important it was to see how bad it really was. That you can't change establishment by becoming it. And that when you align with establishment and isolate those who historically have tried to help you? It may turn out worse. That you can only establish yourself, move forward and help others on their feet stand alone as individuals in dignity and respect.

My country doesn't want that. It can't afford it. And no matter how normal I may think I seem outside of a few things I'm working on for myself? I can't explain away my life as some magical Seinfeld episode when we all knew more or less Jerry was a fucking douchebag irl. But wasn't it funny? When he got up on stage and defended all out war on a people? Is it funny that even with taking public transportation and historically reasonable rent that I can't even afford to be taken seriously beyond how well I am at performing IT duties in an office? I'm on a non profit salary. I wouldn't complain too much about my situation. I found that job myself. And yet there's this psyop overlaid upon my life over everything that makes me question. Did I reaaaaaly find this job? Am I really single and unmarried because I wanted to be or was I benched secretly by the government? Is the reason everyone knows who I am but pretends I'm not important because they secretly need to trash your life to feel better about the fakeness of their own? Is everything that happens when I leave the house an elaborate performance by a bunch of people fighting a war for my attention. I do not pay attention to anything other than my dash. You know it. I know it. I find myself wondering about it for long bouts of silence. And yet this interaction here is all I have. Everything out in real life is clipped to a dialogue tree populated in a town full of cardboard people. My mom reminded me that I have used that analogy since I was a child. That my theory was that a great percentage of people out there have no depth. Are only there to advance the plot line or the story. My cat has more personality than most people who try to interact with me. I'm getting paid again and I don't feel remotely happy about it. I'm chained to an excel spreadsheet again trying to figure out what exactly held me back for so long. I don't mind being held back if it's from stepping into a boiling volcano of a country. I just don't really get how you can just erase someone year after year then act like you are a superhero for it. I'm still here. I don't really understand what that means either. But I'd rather piss on all of this discreetly and heal at my own pace. Possibly in an actual urinal stall with some common decency and culture. Gnome what I'm saying? <3 Tim

[brokenrobot2004]

It makes me a little sad that I'm going to be convicted forever by the hate blog my ex best friend made about me years ago now; to her, the drama ended with that blog, but to me, it's going to stay forever as long as it's around, because it's one of the first things anyone is going to see when they look me up; I'd be more accepting of it if it wasn't also loosely comprised of buzzwords (Biphobic and ablest are specifically strange to me because I'm bi and diagnosed with autism, and even back when I was aroace I never said anything about bisexuals? I never said anything about any kind of disability either, I was always very respectful about both of those things and have even considered myself bi before now too, when I was 11) and mildly sexualized assumptions that an adult made of posts I made when I was either 10 or 11 years old in the furby community, just trying to fit in with what other people were saying but not entirely having a grip on what they meant and sounding off, when I never meant to sound the way I did at all; like how "Fetishizing trans women" was a post where I angrily mocked my mom calling me cute or girly things because I was a trans guy and found it upsetting, "disabled furby fetish" was me trying to make a positivity post about helping disabled furbies to be inclusive like everyone else was being, one of the things happened to be me saying I'd help a furby who couldn't walk sit on the toilet because I heard around that people taking care of the elderly would do that, so I included it in my post to seem knowledgeable on real ways of helping, and that was it; I really really wish that even while I was an unhinged young teenager, people would have just gently asked before writing those ever-lasting posts, "Hey, did you mean bla-bla-bla when you said this, or did you mean something else?" and I would've answered honestly, I'm sure; I was a bit of a monstrosity the further back you go into history of how I acted on the internet but I was really, not all that terrible to talk to when there was no perceived threat from the person and asking me a rational question would've been easy, I never ever mean to hurt anybody, but now, that's all people are going to think of me; even in real life, because who wouldn't look up my social media in this digital era? 🙁

And it was mostly, if not entirely, consisting of behaviors and views I've grown out of since the 5+ years ago it happened; I have even been met with backlash in 2022 or 2023, for saying I'm sorry to someone I was mean to back then 😯 (I now think that was unnecessary from me, I was very tired that day) what do the people who've cancelled me want from me? I don't think they want me to apologize, or care that I've gotten so much better since then; I think maybe they just want to revel in that I am a complete recluse now socially, a coward; I cannot even say "Cool fursuit!" or "I like your artstyle!" without feeling like somehow, someone will come forward and be able to twist what I've said into something terrible and use it against me if they don't like me, because that's just how people can be online now; it's terrifying. My ex best friend has shunned me behind my back for being so scared, I remember being shown longer ago; but knowing the things that upset her, she would be absolutely broken if someone did to her, what she did to me online; because that shit can ruin careers, it could ruin my chance of ever making a friend again, even IRL because anyone can look me up online; imagine doing that to somebody who was at the time, not even old enough to drink.

I've been called vile, irredeemable, and anonymously told to kill myself once even; I was a 16 year old; a rather air-headed one too yet. Who would talk that way to a 16 year old who made it clear he was trying to improve and never meant to hurt anyone? Who knew he was in the wrong and was trying his hardest to fix it? For young readers rolling their eyes, how absurd that is will click when you're older and realize how inexperienced most people are at that age.

And that isn't keeping in mind how developmentally delayed I always have been too, which I state as a fact and not as an excuse; I don't let it ever stop me from improving myself either, but I feel like it's probably important that I mention that about myself here; I've always been considerably far behind people my age socially and often, intellectually; it was very visible at School especially where alot of the work I did was far behind everyone else's, and was alot slower than them too, and when I was younger I'd hardly get any work done at all even and was very difficult to deal with as a whole; Autism can be a very unflattering disability, it's not generally pure or wholesome, and it has influenced my bad or otherwise embarrassing behavior alot in the past; which I will still take responsibility for; because my illness isn't some seperate entity from me I'd use as an excuse, I just want it to be understood and recognized that I can't function as well as most other people in the head, I never could, and I genuinely just want that to be understood coming from someone who is seriously, detrimentally autistic to a point I had gotten diagnosed with it at a young age; my past outbursts and socially-inept behaviors helped by it gave the internet ridiculous shitshows to point at, and I'll never be able to take that away; what I can do is hope that I'll be atleast somewhat understood in the end, and left alone for how I was such a long time ago now

I've made a good effort to no longer be that way or act immature and freak out like I did long ago, and I can't stop persuing a social presence at such a young age, over the idea that strangers might not understand that about me.

I have no respect for people who think call-out and purity culture are okay and useful towards youth; this stuff was meant for use against megacorperations and rich celebrities that are getting boycotted for being generally harmful and/or gross on a huge scale that affects many innocent people, not stupid teenagers like I was, or even young adults. People learn, grow, and change; I spend and have spent every second of my life finding ways to grow and improve, and taking information in from people I look up to and admire to do so; and came far enough that I am 100% no longer the petty, angry, and immature person I was at the time, and that makes me very proud. I am no longer going to cower in my little corner, shivering at the thought of complimenting someone's 3D model or uploading a piece of music on YouTube; because people who told a scared and confused autistic kid to end his life and tried to take future careers, friendships, or even love away from him with things he's said and done years and years ago, do not deserve my compliance anymore