#and just the general happening of the book

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Ad-tech targeting is an existential threat

I'm on a 20+ city book tour for my new novel PICKS AND SHOVELS. Catch me TORONTO on SUNDAY (Feb 23) at Another Story Books, and in NYC on WEDNESDAY (26 Feb) with JOHN HODGMAN. More tour dates here.

The commercial surveillance industry is almost totally unregulated. Data brokers, ad-tech, and everyone in between – they harvest, store, analyze, sell and rent every intimate, sensitive, potentially compromising fact about your life.

Late last year, I testified at a Consumer Finance Protection Bureau hearing about a proposed new rule to kill off data brokers, who are the lynchpin of the industry:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/16/the-second-best-time-is-now/#the-point-of-a-system-is-what-it-does

The other witnesses were fascinating – and chilling, There was a lawyer from the AARP who explained how data-brokers would let you target ads to categories like "seniors with dementia." Then there was someone from the Pentagon, discussing how anyone could do an ad-buy targeting "people enlisted in the armed forces who have gambling problems." Sure, I thought, and you don't even need these explicit categories: if you served an ad to "people 25-40 with Ivy League/Big Ten law or political science degrees within 5 miles of Congress," you could serve an ad with a malicious payload to every Congressional staffer.

Now, that's just the data brokers. The real action is in ad-tech, a sector dominated by two giant companies, Meta and Google. These companies claim that they are better than the unregulated data-broker cowboys at the bottom of the food-chain. They say they're responsible wielders of unregulated monopoly surveillance power. Reader, they are not.

Meta has been repeatedly caught offering ad-targeting like "depressed teenagers" (great for your next incel recruiting drive):

https://www.technologyreview.com/2017/05/01/105987/is-facebook-targeting-ads-at-sad-teens/

And Google? They just keep on getting caught with both hands in the creepy commercial surveillance cookie-jar. Today, Wired's Dell Cameron and Dhruv Mehrotra report on a way to use Google to target people with chronic illnesses, people in financial distress, and national security "decision makers":

https://www.wired.com/story/google-dv360-banned-audience-segments-national-security/

Google doesn't offer these categories itself, they just allow data-brokers to assemble them and offer them for sale via Google. Just as it's possible to generate a target of "Congressional staffers" by using location and education data, it's possible to target people with chronic illnesses based on things like whether they regularly travel to clinics that treat HIV, asthma, chronic pain, etc.

Google claims that this violates their policies, and that they have best-of-breed technical measures to prevent this from happening, but when Wired asked how this data-broker was able to sell these audiences – including people in menopause, or with "chronic pain, fibromyalgia, psoriasis, arthritis, high cholesterol, and hypertension" – Google did not reply.

The data broker in the report also sold access to people based on which medications they took (including Ambien), people who abuse opioids or are recovering from opioid addiction, people with endocrine disorders, and "contractors with access to restricted US defense-related technologies."

It's easy to see how these categories could enable blackmail, spear-phishing, scams, malvertising, and many other crimes that threaten individuals, groups, and the nation as a whole. The US Office of Naval Intelligence has already published details of how "anonymous" people targeted by ads can be identified:

https://www.odni.gov/files/ODNI/documents/assessments/ODNI-Declassified-Report-on-CAI-January2022.pdf

The most amazing part is how the 33,000 targeting segments came to public light: an activist just pretended to be an ad buyer, and the data-broker sent him the whole package, no questions asked. Johnny Ryan is a brilliant Irish privacy activist with the Irish Council for Civil Liberties. He created a fake data analytics website for a company that wasn't registered anywhere, then sent out a sales query to a brokerage (the brokerage isn't identified in the piece, to prevent bad actors from using it to attack targeted categories of people).

Foreign states, including China – a favorite boogeyman of the US national security establishment – can buy Google's data and target users based on Google ad-tech stack. In the past, Chinese spies have used malvertising – serving targeted ads loaded with malware – to attack their adversaries. Chinese firms spend billions every year to target ads to Americans:

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/06/business/google-meta-temu-shein.html

Google and Meta have no meaningful checks to prevent anyone from establishing a shell company that buys and targets ads with their services, and the data-brokers that feed into those services are even less well-protected against fraud and other malicious act.

All of this is only possible because Congress has failed to act on privacy since 1988. That's the year that Congress passed the Video Privacy Protection Act, which bans video store clerks from telling the newspapers which VHS cassettes you have at home. That's also the last time Congress passed a federal consumer privacy law:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_Privacy_Protection_Act

The legislative history of the VPPA is telling: it was passed after a newspaper published the leaked video-rental history of a far-right judge named Robert Bork, whom Reagan hoped to elevate to the Supreme Court. Bork failed his Senate confirmation hearings, but not because of his video rentals (he actually had pretty good taste in movies). Rather, it was because he was a Nixonite criminal and virulent loudmouth racist whose record was strewn with the most disgusting nonsense imaginable).

But the leak of Bork's video-rental history gave Congress the cold grue. His video rental history wasn't embarrassing, but it sure seemed like Congress had some stuff in its video-rental records that they didn't want voters finding out about. They beat all land-speed records in making it a crime to tell anyone what kind of movies they (and we) were watching.

And that was it. For 37 years, Congress has completely failed to pass another consumer privacy law. Which is how we got here – to this moment where you can target ads to suicidal teens, gambling addicted soldiers in Minuteman silos, grannies with Alzheimer's, and every Congressional staffer on the Hill.

Some people think the problem with mass surveillance is a kind of machine-driven, automated mind-control ray. They believe the self-aggrandizing claims of tech bros to have finally perfected the elusive mind-control ray, using big data and machine learning.

But you don't need to accept these outlandish claims – which come from Big Tech's sales literature, wherein they boast to potential advertisers that surveillance ads are devastatingly effective – to understand how and why this is harmful. If you're struggling with opioid addiction and I target an ad to you for a fake cure or rehab center, I haven't brainwashed you – I've just tricked you. We don't have to believe in mind-control to believe that targeted lies can cause unlimited harms.

And those harms are indeed grave. Stein's Law predicts that "anything that can't go on forever eventually stops." Congress's failure on privacy has put us all at risk – including Congress. It's only a matter of time until the commercial surveillance industry is responsible for a massive leak, targeted phishing campaign, or a ghastly national security incident involving Congress. Perhaps then we will get action.

In the meantime, the coalition of people whose problems can be blamed on the failure to update privacy law continues to grow. That coalition includes protesters whose identities were served up to cops, teenagers who were tracked to out-of-state abortion clinics, people of color who were discriminated against in hiring and lending, and anyone who's been harassed with deepfake porn:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/06/privacy-first/#but-not-just-privacy

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/02/20/privacy-first-second-third/#malvertising

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[duyuforu]

Pick-a-Card: What is Next for you in Life?

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Pile 1 - ₊˚⊹♡

Don't forget that it's a general reading so take what resonates. If you don't resonate with this pile, you can choose another one. If you don't resonate with any of the piles, it just means there is no messages for you today. Don't take informations you are not comfortable with, and take care of yourself.

Pile 1, welcome to your reading! What is next for you in your life? I can see that perhaps what is next is related to your relationships in general. There could have been something related to a contract, such as you perhaps having a contract right now, for example work, it could have been long term and stable but there could be some instability, obstacles or hardships related to it. Could also be a relationship, a commitment. You could find a hard time to know what to do. Cards are saying you'll have the answer through a dream, or you could have the answer in a more mystical way. You could have a solution, or help from the universe or God, but dreams is a strong theme here. For a lot of you, you could also have a major event related to romance soon in your life. Perhaps you'll have a new friend coming in your life, or you'll have a very good thing happening in your friendships. But this could also be related to love. You could have better days in your love life soon, and if you are single and searching for someone (searching as for example, wanting to date someone), you could have a good opportunity. You could meet a potential long term partner, someone serious, perhaps a soulmate. This could have been something you were manifesting for some time now.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to like (even comment your pile if you want) and follow for more content ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

If you desire a more personal and in-depth reading, you can book a private tarot reading with me.

Pile 2 - ₊˚⊹♡

Don't forget that it's a general reading so take what resonates. If you don't resonate with this pile, you can choose another one. If you don't resonate with any of the piles, it just means there is no messages for you today. Don't take informations you are not comfortable with, and take care of yourself.

Pile 2, welcome to your reading! If you were also drawn to Pile 1, you should go check it out, I see a very similar message here. As for what is next for you in life, there could have been a financial association you had before that failed, or somehow you could have tried to talk about a contract or a relationship and it failed. If it's work related, it could be you wanting to have a raise and it was denied, or if it's about a relationship, you perhaps wanted to go next level with someone and got rejected. I see a rejection in the end, so take what resonates. Even if this event isn't from the past, but will happen in the future, cards want you to know that you shouldn't loose hope. If you want a raise and it was denied, do not think this is the end, you can still try again later. If you wanted to go next level with someone but this person wasn't sure, perhaps later things will be better. It can also be en encouraging message as, if you didn't have this, then another opportunity will open itself to you. You should def keep going, success in at the end of the path. You could review also your relationships with people around you, and seeing who you think is doing you good and who is more pushing you down. Also, when it comes to romance, you could have been worried about a connection or your love life, perhaps not seeing any good outcome. A love connection could have ended, or is about to end, or at least you thought it was the end. You could get a message, text, letter, any kind of news from this person soon. They could wanna talk, meet, their energy is pretty soft and calm, they really want to see you or talk to you again.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to like (even comment your pile if you want) and follow for more content ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

If you desire a more personal and in-depth reading, you can book a private tarot reading with me.

Pile 3 - ₊˚⊹♡

Don't forget that it's a general reading so take what resonates. If you don't resonate with this pile, you can choose another one. If you don't resonate with any of the piles, it just means there is no messages for you today. Don't take informations you are not comfortable with, and take care of yourself.

Pile 3, welcome to your reading! What is next for you in life could be about your manifestations. You could have tried to manifest something recently and cards could want to say that whatever you tried to indeed manifest into reality will come to live soon. You could feel like something secretive also will come to light, you could learn someone's truth soon. There is a man there, or someone with a strong masculine energy. Your manifestations could have been related to romance, and perhaps you wanted to manifest your soulmate, future spouse, or a new romantic partner, etc. You could so see this manifestation come to you in March. Someone could indeed come to you, or you could dream of them. You could see someone who will want to ask you out, date you, wanting to be with you romantically. This person has some Water & Air energies in them. This could be someone from the past, but not necessarily. Cards could also say that if you indeed want to manifest a good partner for you, you should def continue, not give up, and be persistent with your manifestations. This person is coming but even if they are there, continue putting your manifestations there, meditate, do not loose the thread of your hard work. Moreover, another little message here is that there could be some steamy times for you soon, perhaps either online, or texting in a very hot way, or calling, take what resonates iykyk... lol.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to like (even comment your pile if you want) and follow for more content ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

If you desire a more personal and in-depth reading, you can book a private tarot reading with me.

Thank you for Reading!

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back to index ; ask ; requests

[followthebluebell]

Who are the current roster of residents at your work? I know Roomba is, and that there are at least two Persians, but I can't keep them straight in my head. Q was a resident but then got adopted?

My current residents are:

Roomba (bengal - 13-15? years old, blind, female)

VERY LOUD; loves kittens, waffles wildly between loving adult cats or absolutely hating them. Sometimes to the same cat. She adores Maddie the most and will try to cuddle up to her as much as possible but since Maddie has been going into the Impossible Zone (the couch upstairs) lately, Roomba has been cozying up to Pookie.

Has lymphoma but we're trying to make her time comfortable. She's got a severe sensitivity to poultry and fish, so her food has to be beef, venison, lamb, rabbit, pork, or goat. Her favorite is lamb. On her good days, she likes to play fetch with her favorite purple plastic ball or green spring. I don't know why those are her favorites. She just plays with them longer than any of the other plastic balls or springs.

She's usually found in the office/kitchen.

Butterscotch (persian - 3? years old, blind, male; misaligned jaw)

Looks ancient, is actually a young man. He is permanently scrungly. He likes to play with pieces of garbage. He's got plenty of actual cat toys to play with, but he just wants to play with the little plastic wrap that comes off the tops of bottles and such. He's VERY sweet to people; he mostly ignores other cats. If another cat sleeps by him, he's fine. He just doesn't really seek them out.

His jaw is misaligned, which makes his face look even stranger than a typical persian's. We're not sure what happened to it. It may just be a birth defect, it may be a broken jaw that never healed right. It doesn't seem to bother him TOO much, but it does mean his face needs extra cleaning.

He doesn't like any wet food, except for sardines. Otherwise, he likes the cronch. He likes to sleep in exclusively uncomfortable places.

Pookie (british shorthair - 1 year old, female, FIV+)

VERY playful and outgoing. She likes to greet anyone who walks in. People are delighted by her. They think she's the best thing either (they are not wrong). She's cat social, but doesn't really want to play with other cats. She just likes to exist around them.

She's a menace in the office. She's learned that if the phone goes off, someone will sit down at the desk and she can annoy them until they pet her. She knocks things off the desk too and thinks it's a lot of fun to play with and rip up pages in the appointment book.

She's generally found in the office or on the front couch.

Penelope (persian, 2-3? years old, female)

Also outgoing, but much more relaxed. Penelope mostly wants to sit on someone's lap. Her favorite toys are crinkle balls--- the little cellophane ones--- and tunnels. She likes to sit at the edge of a tunnel and bat at feet as people walk past. She also likes pens, especially if someone is using one.

She likes to sit in the office chair. I think it's because she knows someone will sit there eventually and have no choice but to let her sit on their lap, but also she doesn't have very many brain cells, so I'm not sure she can fully conceptualize that sort of plan.

She tends to pick a new Favorite Place every week.

Maddie (persian, 12-13? years old, female)

Winner of the 'Are you alive...?' contest two years running. She's a picky eater and will only eat things that she sees Roomba eating. I'm not sure they recognize the other as 'alive'. Maddie adores people, as long as they aren't trying to brush her. Then she grudgingly tolerates them for a few minutes at a time before deciding to go somewhere else.

She's permanently snotty. She's been tested for many, MANY things to ensure it's not contagious--- the vet's guess is that a fungal infection caused a severe allergic reaction which resulted in nasal polyps. Combined with her very tiny nostrils, she's got some permanent drip going on there. It's... unclear whether or not surgery is a wise option. She's a senior cat, a persian, and already has breathing problems :/ We might just have to wipe her face frequently.

She's not a fan of that either, for the record.

I'm hoping that Penelope and Pookie will go up for adoption one day. There's literally no reason why they could not be adopted and I'd prefer to keep the office pet slots for cats that cannot be rehomed for behavioral or health reasons.

[layeredshirts]

If the other dorms ran businesses on campus, like the Mostro Lounge, what do you guys think would they be like? I honestly only have ideas for Hearts, Pomefiore, and Ignihyde.

Personally, I think Heartslabyul would run one of those trendy bookstores with a small cafe. Other students mainly use it as a library and rarely buy the books, but Trey's baked goods sell well enough to cover the cost of the books. Students are routinely collared however for trying to read the books while eating, dirtying the pages, and trying to put it back. You cannot ruin one of Riddle's books, despite being inventory he needs to sell, they're precious to him by virtue of being books. As punishment for breaking whatever rule, Riddle would make the first years, adeuce, stand outside the mirror chamber, sign spinning and handing out coupons. Cater uses his expertise on all things cozy to make sure it's aesthetic enough for candid magicam moments. It's great for date nights too, Cater plays his mellow music there and sells CDs.

Pomefiore operates a day spa, and none of them are licensed or qualified to do the treatments they offer. But... they're just so damn good at them. While it makes sense that Vil would approve a spa for it's beauty treatments, he's a huge proponent of relaxation. They offer the typical spa happenings- seaweed wraps, mudbaths, massages etc. but with the added bonus that it might run into a celebrity. Because Vil, world class model and actor, technically is the owner as the dorm leader, it's much more popular than any other spa on sage's island. People line up down the block for a chance to take a picture of Vil, who's always tugging at his uniform, trying to make it more flattering. Why do they have to wear scrubs? It's not like they're nurses or anything 😒. He would run the spa with an iron fist, making sure everyone is on task. Epel is his successor, but he gets in trouble for playing in the supplies and making a mess. He's also not good for cleaning, or being delicate with the customers, and he doesn't have a head for business that doesn't involve apples... But he's really good at small talk and is endlessly optimistic. Rook doesn't go often, the spa is too fragent for his liking. When he is there, his over the top, intimate nature freaks the other students out. How do you expect them to feel comfortable taking a bath while Rook Hunt is reciting poetry about them outside the door? He's always muttering his unique magic name too... "I see you." Okay.

Ignihyde students run an internet cafe, with a heavy emphasis on internet. All of the food comes out of vending machines; the selling point is Ignihyde's servers, connection speeds, and cutting edge technology. Idia seems to always have something before it’s even available to buy. When he receives “normie” gadgets from his parents at STYX, he generously donates it to the cafe. His setup is already complete, no one adds anything to it besides him. Idia is extremely hands off with the equipment and business side of it, leaving it mainly to Ortho to oversee. Idia does suggest, every now and again, that cats might bring in more guests, and cat cafes are trendy and real. No dice, Ortho doesn't want them stepped on by clumsy first years, stomping around in VR headsets. Ortho would agree to other friendship building activities however, like trivia nights and karaoke. They're all perplexed by Ortho's trivia night win streak until Idia remembers that, while he is his little brother, he's still a walking computer connected to the internet at all times. He has to force him to sit out. I think, because he’s an otaku, they would also sell cute merch! :) Ortho’s in charge of ordering the merchandise, so it’s genuinely a surprise for Idia when the cutest Premo stickers come in.

[jasper-dracona]

I’m so glad you liked and shared my tags!

Also to add on to that thing with academics:

The delight of additional evidence to support a hypothesis, or even just a general idea, is always great. But also it must be made clear that anthropology and archaeology as disciplines have made incredible progress on their understanding of what previous hominins were like since, say, the 60’s. They haven’t been working with the assumptions of them as stupid, strength-and-dominance prioritizing, “primitive” people for quite a while now.

I think we all need to be more conscious of the fact that, for any academic discipline, we the public are on a serious delay from the experts. We always are! And there’s no shame in that, it’s actually kind of a good thing, as long as you’re aware of it.

Ideally the public receives information once a discipline is starting to approach a consensus on a topic of scientific debate. And some people have a skewed perspective on what debate looks like because they’re familiar with spectacle debates, but it works differently in science.

Scientific debate is a process that operates on the order of decades, and it’s usually very impenetrable to the layman. It takes place in the literature and at conferences, and the ultimate goal is to challenge each other, to push each other to do better science, find more evidence, and refine our techniques, so we can collectively get to the bottom of the question at hand. It isn’t about yelling at each other, it’s a mutual challenge to keep doing better and to keep learning.

So we only really start to hear definitive answers around the time that a consensus is being reached and an answer has dozens to hundreds of good, diligent papers backing it up, and decades worth of conferences spent refining the answer and considering other possibilities. Which is great! Because it means that we only really hear about it when it’s well-supported and is about as close as science ever gets to saying something is definitively true.

It means we aren’t really hearing about bad, unfounded conclusions based on shoddy evidence or flawed methods.

An example of when this process failed horrifically was the MMR scare that led to the modern antivax movement. The fear-mongering of the news was rampant, spurred on by a single paper, which would later turn out to be deeply fraudulent and financially motivated, with unethical treatment of child research subjects to boot (thank you to investigative journalist Brian Deer for his diligent work on uncovering all of this. He’s written a book about his work and you should read it). It was one paper. And after all the fear-mongering had already been going on for a while, several similar studies (with significantly more ethical methods) finally finished up and published their findings, and repeatedly failed to get the same or even similar results to the original paper by Andrew Wakefield, failing to corroborate its findings. If Andrew Wakefield hadn’t run around doing tons of interviews, if the news had bothered to look into the matter with more scrutiny and stopped using fear-mongering to hold people’s attention to make more money, or if the news had even just waited a while to see how other experts responded, then the MMR scare wouldn’t have happened and we wouldn’t have the modern anti-vax movement as it exists today.

So we can’t be treating every published paper like a golden monolith of truth just because it got published. That is evidently a dangerous practice. But we then also have to be aware that when we finally start hearing about something, then it’s almost certainly not a brand new idea in that field. It probably an idea that’s been kicking around and gaining evidence and support for a while.

We have to know that we’re on a delay because we don’t and shouldn’t hear about a topic until a debate approaches being settled, and so that we understand that academics aren’t stupid for “not realizing something until now.” Experts have been thinking about this for a while, but it is important that in science we are cautious and patient in accepting new ideas as correct.

So yeah, every time you look at a popular news article about an academic discipline being like “wow look at this cool new evidence of X” and think “what, like that’s news? Wow guys” remember that they’re probably actually saying something like “look we found more evidence of this idea we’ve had for a while! Isn’t it so nice to find more supporting evidence to further increase our confidence in our conclusions :D”

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEANDERTHAL CHILD WITH DOWN'S SYNDROME? Because they're all I've been thinking about when I'm sad for the past few days. Their existence makes me less sad.

[betterwithbooksthanwithpeople]

things I noticed in The Outsiders musical seeing it a second time (2/20/25 matinee):

feel like putting a disclaimer that I've now seen the show twice but in two partial view locations (standing room today) and my memory is far from photographic so some of this might be stuff that happens every time that I just missed the first time or it stuck out to me differently

-the greasers were HYPED. UP. from the top of the show basically all the way to the drive-in. sooo much energy which is also how I felt getting to see the show again so I loved it

-really thought Andre Malcolm was a great Steve! also John Patrick Collins is back covering I don't even know what role because it's whoever Trevi is when he's not Ponyboy and I've seen him as Ponyboy both times lol

-during Grease Got a Hold Soda kept poking at Darry trying to get him to join in and he said either "don't talk to me" or "don't touch me" but with a little smile like he couldn't actually be annoyed with Soda

-at the end of Great Expectations and the scene after with Johnny and Dally, Johnny was rocking himself back and forth but as soon as Ponyboy would put the flashlight on him or Dally would look at him he'd stop

-honestly I think Sky played Johnny more fidgety/ shaky in general (I saw Josh last time). what's that line from the book that says Johnny is like a kicked puppy? that's what he was embodying

-Marcia did a little wave and "hey" at Two-Bit during Friday at the Drive In!

-Emma's vocals were eating in that song and especially I Could Talk to You All Night. I've seen her Cherry before but today? dangg

-Paul has a new boyfriend real?! bro was fully laying on the car stargazing and drinking with somebody (Chet maybe?)

-Ponyboy opt down in Far Away from Tulsa! now I know what y'all are going on about lol

-Ponyboy was SO out of it and Johnny was yelling SO much the whole way from when they get jumped through all of Run Run Brother and it was making me ahhh

-Cole was amazing as Paul, especially in Justice for Tulsa. He played it so angry that he was kinda scary, plus vocalsss

-maybe this is always the blocking for Death's at My Door so apologies to people who've seen the show more than I have, but when he's singing "I'll never leave you alone," Johnny put his hand out to take the knife from Ponyboy who repeated the line but just? wouldn't let go of the knife? to grab his hand? until they both sing the line together and fully make eye contact, then Pony finally gave back the knife after and Johnny did this little sigh of relief almost as he put it back in his pocket while keeping a hold on Pony's hand. it's a lot guys.

-Throwing in the Towel vocals were off the charts today. Brent and Jason were not messing around - the riffs

-Darry was so happy and united with the gang in Hoods Turned Heroes that I almost started the act two crying right then and there. he's just a kid proud of his little brothers

-Ponyboy was PISSED during Trouble like he was giving do NOT mess with me right now

-I am convinced Jason is in on the Parry lore because the faces he was making during the whole Paul/ Darry pre-rumble conversation were so loud I fully missed the first punch since my eyes were on Soda lol

-just everything about Ace in the rumble. yelling "get off of me!" and the genuine concern when Two Bit takes awhile to get up after and jumping into Dally's arms because they won - it was adorable (actually Tilly was just getting picked up so much? maybe that's her Ace's thing even more than others lol)

-Aramie put his whole heart and soul into Little Brother oh my gosh. Like fully sobbing for much of the song, looked a mess, scREAMED the "does anybody care" line?! I was crying so much that my friend pointed it out after the show pls

-speaking of crying, Darry was a whole mess not really in the argument part of the end scene but for the entire time Pony and Soda are talking at the dinner table - like, he'd visibly pull himself together in order to talk evenly when he had a line? but wouldn't look towards his brothers like he was hiding his tears? Brent Comer you understand Darry so well I'm so glad I got to tell you he's my favorite at the stage door

-overheard at the stage door: someone asked Trevi about the Johnny/ Ponyboy ship and he basically went "they're too young" hahaha

hours have passed somehow but this is all I've thought about and I've forgotten so many things and already want to see it again but yeah, yay outsiders

[tarotbyjam24]

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Pile 1 Pile 2

Pile 1

Hii my pile 1 let's dive in your reading People see you as someone who's quick Witted , blunt and talks straight to the point . You may also have resting bitch or sleepy face and they're intimidated by it . Although they may respect you or get inspired by you because of your achievements. Also some of you're a parent or about to become one they see you as someone who's very attentive towards their kid\s . Your kid maybe your first priority. They see you as someone who's organized and doesn't get swayed by the waves of lives means you're very resilient. I also feel they see you as someone who's constantly moving forward towards their goals and achievements. They see you as someone who's very satisfied with whatever they have in their life . They see you as someone who's very happy with their own world and live in their own world . They may also feel that how clearly you set boundaries for yourself and not let anyone stepover it to ruin your peace . I also feel you're very guarded person who always had their guards up it's a protective mechanism to keep yourself happy and to keep yourself away from others bs . They may also perceive you as someone who has many ways \paths \options for everything? Whether it's career ,love or anything. Or they may perceive you as someone who gets confuse to choose one things for themselves as there're many options available. They perceive you as someone who's calm , composed , almost acting like non chalant but I you know you're not right you've like 50 tabs on in your mind and your brain is working at the speed of 100km \hr . You are also the person who quickly doesn't jump upon the conclusion. You like to look at situation from the other lens and then give your opinion on it . People may also think that your life changes so fast that if they don't have a connection with you they wouldn't know what happened in your life last week . That's all my lovely pile 1 . I hope you liked and resonate with the reading . See you soon . Bless you 💞!

Pile 2

Hii my pile 2 let's get in your reading , people tend to perceive you as someone who's quick with the decisions or like the kid who's always ready to answer the question right after teacher wrote it on the board . You don't like to wait . You're somewhat impatient. And maybe that's why you sometimes get in unpredictable problems. Some of you even know that this is what you gonna get but still you tend to go to that path which may not be right for you . People view you as someone who like to take the authority, maybe you like to correct people or just can't tolerate something that's isn't right . People view you as someone who likes to be alone in their company. Maybe you've a lone wolf personality or just in general you've hard time getting along with people. I feel people get a inferiority complex from you they feel inferior infront of you . My pile 2 people like to put you on pedestal. People also view you as someone who doesn't like help from others. Even tho you require help for something but you just can't bring yourself forward to ask for help . People view you as someone who strives for more in life . People also perceive you as someone who has kinda unique fashion from others which is unusual to be seen in general. People perceive you as someone who doesn't go with their heart or you don't trust your gut feeling. You tend to be more logical think with your brain type of person . Fashionwise people perceive you as someone who doesn't like to show their skin much . You like to cover your body as much as you can to hide your figure maybe because you're insecure about it or you just don't want people to take people a look of your divine body ofc you shouldn't let them if you're not ready ✨ . People perceive you as someone who's alone or in their world most of the times and you wanna get out of this thing . Like you like to be alone but you don't wanna be alone . They perceive you as someone who's not ready to be in comitted relationship because you just don't wanna feel bounded but I see you've lot of love interests going on pile 2 . People like you pile 2 . That's all my loner and insomniac pile 2 . I hope you liked and resonated with the reading . See you soon . Bless you 💞 !

I hope you liked the reading . Thank you so much for letting me read for you . Wishing you best ahead . 🎀Bless you and have a nice day 🧸🩷

Loads of love , jam\gem

Exchanges : open , collabs for pacs : open

[abyss-seer]

Disclaimer: All content in this reading, including interpretations, messages, and images used for picking a pile, belongs to me. It should not be copied, reproduced, or distributed without my permission. Unauthorized use of any part of this reading is strictly prohibited.

The Background image used is "Ukiyo-e Tale: The Creative Circle" by Nicolas Castell. The images for pick a pile reads, are mine

Pick A Picture Reading

How can you embrace some of your inevitable life experiences and see it from a higher perspective?

Pile 1 - The Table and Chair

Pile 2 - The Lamp post

Pile 3 - The Bench or a Swing

Welcome to today’s tarot reading! I always find tarot readings enjoyable, like reading chapters from a fascinating book. Before we dive in, let's set the scene and align with today's reading. Remember, this is a timeless read, so the messages can apply whenever you come across this post.

To start, take a moment to meditate on the question, and then choose the picture that draws you in. It could be a random object in the image or just an inner nudge guiding you to a particular pile. Feel free to choose more than one pile.

Today's question is inspired by some metal art shops I passed by: "How can you embrace the scars you experienced in your life and see how they shape you in a positive way?" Just as metal can be shaped under pressure into something beautiful, our experiences mold us, often in ways we don't realize at first.

Life can be tough, and we may come to dislike our scars because of the pain they represent. This reading aims to help you embrace those scars, transform them into symbols of victory, and find a positive outlook on life.

Remember, when life happens to you, you’re not a victim but a survivor. Warriors survive battlefields, and kings rule with confidence only after healing their wounds. This reading is about healing those scars fate has carved on you and seeing how they shape you into a beautiful, stronger version of yourself.

Enjoy the journey, and have a wonderful day! 😊

Trigger Warning

This reading has focused on the scars you could have got due to inevitable things you had to experience in your life. This reading aims to be a healing experience rather than a reminder of past hurts. If you're not ready to confront these aspects, but you appreciate the concept of this reading, feel free to save it for later.

Remember, this is a general reading, so take only the messages that resonate with you and leave the rest. A tarot reading offers insight or answers to your subconscious questions. It's important not to force yourself into any interpretation that doesn't feel right; readings are meant to be more about entertainment and reflection than precision.

Be mindful of not taking things personally. This is a collective reading, and while some aspects might resonate with you, others may resonate with someone else. My readings tend to be comprehensive and detailed, which some may find lengthy or time-consuming. Please take your time with this reading. These messages are intended to awaken and provide insights, so I hope you find value in them. Enjoy the journey through these reads.

With Love

Abyss Seer - Tarot Readings 🫶🏾

Pile 1

How to Embrace the Scars You've Got in Life**

**Pile 1**: You might tend to give up when responsibilities and burdens pile up. You could have a scar related to staying committed to something that eventually dies out, leading to FOMO (fear of missing out) due to feeling stuck. You might often jump into new things when the current endeavor gets tough. These constant changes can make you feel overwhelmed, sometimes leading to explosive anger when things don't go your way.

Instead of suppressing your anger and letting it explode, find a creative outlet. Many in this pile might use relationships or intimate activities to channel negative emotions rather than facing them. Sitting with your emotions might remind you of times you were taken advantage of, causing frustration.

Rather than getting caught in your mind and shaming yourself for taking time to decide, embrace your role as a catalyst for change. People might see you as moving at the speed of light, like a hurricane that changes too fast and crushes whatever stands in the way.

To embrace these changes, meditate when making big decisions, especially if you're considering a new venture due to feeling overworked. Take risks and make informed decisions instead of overthinking. Slow down and reflect before making any changes. Consider others' perspectives and be mindful not to crush their hard work. Give space to others and their plans while you pursue your goals.

**How to See These Scars from a Higher Perspective**

These scars teach you to let go and heal from past imbalances and unequal exchanges. They help you become more mindful about investing and spending resources to achieve your goals. You're learning to move on from disappointments and regrets involving selfish people. Now, you invest in trusted individuals who share your vision and walk away from situations that don't work for you.

You’re becoming more aware of your intuition and avoiding disasters before they happen. You’re learning to express yourself fully and not squeeze into places you don't belong. By letting go of what doesn't serve you, you embrace change and become your most authentic self, no longer hiding behind corners. Don't think too much and take action.

These references could hold some significance or some extra messages for you

Manjhi - The Mountain Man movie

Seeing repeating 22

Travel by train

Ludhiana

Someone with some body deformity

Table of Manifestation : An altar

A collaborative project

Pile 2

*How to Embrace This Scar**

There might be some kind of coalition in your community or workplace. Pile 2, you could be dealing with financial loss, lack of progress, or unresolved arguments with colleagues, leaving you more confused. These arguments might drag on for weeks. You need to strike a balance in your work life and set boundaries.

If you're facing intense pressure from the market or conflicts with colleagues, tread carefully. Currently, with Mars in Taurus and the South Node in Libra, you might find it hard to feel at ease. Use your intelligence to gain an advantage in these situations.

If you've been wounded at work, embrace these scars by focusing on your tasks, showcasing your talents to your higher-ups, multitasking, and mastering your skills. You might have lost some work confidence due to these conflicts. Don't waste time dwelling on these issues; focus on your work.

There might be sadness from wasted time or potential, but it's time to work hard. Don't let this opportunity slip by. Your scar might be feeling unable to express yourself and being misunderstood. Remember, the louder you shout, the more likely you are to be

ignored.

How to See These Scars from a Higher Perspective**

Some of you might feel like you chose the wrong company, relationship, or community, leading to some kind of loss. You are being called to cleanse and nourish yourself. This Summer Solstice, like Maa Kamakhya, close your doors to unwanted situations and take yourself on a self-care retreat to experience your inner sacred workings. Forgive yourself and let go of the pain others have caused you.

Pile 2, you might feel distracted, waiting for things to happen, and dependent on others for your finances. You're being asked to socialize and heal, taking a break from work to come back rejuvenated. Stay grounded and socialize with people around you to maintain harmony. Don't show weakness in family, friendship, and relationships. You are learning to develop a strong boundary to avoid being taken advantage of.

Be careful, Pile 2; you might feel stagnant and stuck due to giving your energy to people who don't deserve it. If this has already happened, you are learning the art of facing your enemies and staying calm despite life's challenges. This situation might have left an invisible scar that not many can see. Stand strong against adversity and don't let unnecessary involvement of others extend your problems. You are learning to weed out unnecessary people from your matters and socialize only as needed.

Learn your lessons with grace and call your energy back to yourself for self-nourishment. See these scars as past mistakes and learn how to not overshare and keep people out of your business.

These references could hold some significance or some extra messages for you

Seeing repeating 8's and 7's, or 88's and 77's

Cleansing or Purification

Proficiency in English language

Coalition in workplace settings

The song Choti Choti Ratein from movie Tum bin

Someone or Something's name could be Donna

Oh Mehrama by Darshan Raval

Pile 3

Are you trying to embrace the scars that you got in your life amidst ongoing feuds about your future or your destined inheritance? Some of you could be from Pile 1.**

**How can you embrace this scar?**

First, commit to the work you are doing. You might feel a lack of inspiration to move towards your goals and dreams. Are you boldly pursuing your desires or just waiting for a miracle? Are you taking practical steps to achieve your dreams, or are you stuck in old stories, taking leftovers because you've lost hope?

You see big dreams and new opportunities, but are you too scared or uninspired to reach them? In today’s world, people often turn to social media to feel better, getting lost in information. You know what to do and which advice to take, but are you making that bold move? Your scar might be this void of success, leaving you uninspired and holding on to past achievements, ideas, or relationships that no longer serve you.

Express gratitude to those who helped you and let go. Embrace your scars and move boldly towards achieving your dreams, Pile 3.

**How to look at this scar from a higher perspective?**

Once you boldly commit to your goals and reignite your hope, you'll have a reason to celebrate. There might be something unique you want to do but are unsure about. From a higher perspective, one day you'll reap the rewards of your sincere efforts. This unique dream could turn into a legacy. Your scars were meant to make

you strong.Some of you might have lost a parent or experienced childhood neglect or abuse. I'm deeply sorry for your pain. Sending all of you my deepest condolences. 💗

"All I can say is 'Show me how it gets better' by Sah D Simone. Show the world how people with experiences like yours shine with their own light. Only you can show the world how it gets better, Pile 3.

Stop wasting time numbing your emotions. Turn your life experiences into motivation. Show the world how someone like you can make it better despite all these scars. Fully concentrate your energy on what you want to do in life and let go of what doesn't serve your purpose."

These references could hold some significance or some extra messages for you

Scarpetta, maybe you don't like wasting an inch of your food

You might go for travel soon

The song Oh Nanhe se Farishte

Barbie and 12 dancing princess

Khamoshiyan

Seeing repeating 2's and repeating 4's,

[fiercestpurpose]

I don’t like this post for 3 reasons:

1) I think it’s generally mean-spirited to post a screenshot and make fun of someone in a way that can be passed around. OP didn’t expect this to get notes, but the fact that it’s at 1.8k notes and it’s still rebloggable seems pretty mean to me. I love being a hater and a bitch, genuinely, but I try to not do it in ways that are public, especially when the person is not being outright racist or anything but just seems a little cringey to you.

2) I think the most online part of the screenshot is that OOP feels the need to put a disclaimer at the beginning. What’s online about it is that they need to say “Hey, I know this might be considered bad by some people, but -” because the Internet will be mean about any little error. Which is what’s happening here, but now the error is putting a disclaimer rather than not putting a disclaimer.

Identifying as AFAB is somewhat transphobic and I think there’s a criticism you could make there, but the criticism is not “you’re too online,” and is closer to “you’re grouping people together by AGAB and that’s usually not a good idea.”

3) I’m very frustrated by the people in the notes saying some variation of “You can tell they don’t know anything about the book,” when the original post that has been screenshotted in fact demonstrated a pretty good grasp of the book’s characters and themes. The automatic jump by rebloggers to the idea that they are intellectually superior to OOP based on three lines of text is frustrating to me. I think in some ways reblogging this post serves to signal that someone is in the in-group of the more intellectually superior people who know this kind of disclaimer is stupid. And of course we’re all guilty of doing this sometimes, but this post in particular seems like something not worth doing this over.

[your-unfriendlyghost]

I dunno when you're gonna see this but take your time. I just wanted to know your opinion on the musical and if you had to pick a favorite NEW character, who would it be?

Ohhh lord. I’m preemptively sorry for all this. 

  So I haven’t seen the musical, and honestly I don’t plan to. I’m not much of a musical person in general. There’s definitely a place for them, but yk, I’m just not that into theatrical, over the top, song-filled ways of tellin stories…I may be in the school play now, but I’m a movie guy not a theater kid 🥲

  Aside from that (probably small-minded) preference, according to what I’ve picked up from y’all, the musical apparently has done a lotta things with the plot/characters that I’m just not into. I guess I just am not a big fan of the musical’s changes. I understand that it's a different medium, and lets be real I know nothing about musicals, so I’m sure the changes make sense in context, but I dunno…it just feels so different to me, enough so that I’m just not interested in it. Plus I’ve tried listening to the music n I just don’t vibe w/ most of it. 

  >>BUT I did hear the Little Brother song (Daryl Tofa cover I think) tho and that one went pretty damn hard ngl. I do not like the Johnny/Dally lil brother thing, but BOY that song was AMAZING. Really dug it. Very emotional, in a way where I could really feel it. That doesn’t happen to me very often lol.

  Idk tho aside from that I tend to refrain from commenting on the musical because I don’t have a lotta good to say about it, and I just don’t feel like it’s necessary for me to talk about something a bunch of folks like if I’m just gonna be bitchy lol. (Which is why I’m gonna tag this post very minimally lol 😭) Gah idk. Steve Randle and Randy Adderson deserved better. 

More bitchin under the cut, because I have some very silly nitpicks that I know aren’t a big deal, but I keep seeing these things around and they irritate me personally. For stupid personal reasons. It’s totally ok to dig these things/characters I’m just a hater at heart lol. So yk don’t hit the read more if ya don’t wanna see me bein a whiny, petty jerk abt things ya probably like 😭😭

  BEFORE that tho, some things I do like about the musical:

-Marcia looks perfect, no notes. Musical Marcia rocks

-Musical Cherry is also cool, n I dig her fit

-Daryl Tofa seems awesome. I like his Two-Bit, I like his Dally, I like him. I know next to nothing about him, but he was a fantastic casting choice imo. Two-Bit is still Emilio Estevez to me, but Daryl Tofa’s Two-Bit is pretty much perfect too

-Johnny’s fit is cool

-I like that the cast seems to like Marbit :)) 

-The way the cast posts things/interacts w/ the fandom is very endearing :)) I may not give a damn abt any of them really, but it’s fun seein’ y’all freak out abt it. Feels like watching a party from the sidelines in a good way- like I may not understand, but it’s charming and fun to see y’all happy ‘bout it 

-Soda’s actor quoted the “People who stay and people who leave” thing, so I don’t even care much that he’s not how I picture Soda- like he clearly gets Soda n that’s pretty cool

Ok time for the whining

-“Chet” is the name my folks used to say they were naming me before I was born, because they thought it was an awful name and they thought it was funny seeing folks’ reactions. So I’m pretty primed to dislike him by name alone.

-Chet/Soda annoys me, Soda has Steve he doesn’t need some Soc jerk. Y’all have Parry for ur homoerotic Soc x greaser stuff, don’t kill Stevepop man

-Cherrycola is just Marbit but blander 😭

-I also am not fond of cutting Randy?? Like why tf did they cut Randy Adderson?? I liked him a lot in the book/movie, and he really added a lot to the plot in my opinion…But idk, whatever…

-“Trip”- shut up, just LET HIM BE RANDY, HOLY HELL! he could be played COMPLETELY THE SAME just CALL HIM RANDY and I’ll stop being mad about it :,)

-the Dally/Johnny little brother thing…it’s a take, but it’s the most boring take for their characters ever, and I just despise that view of Johnny. Idk if I were him I’d be so pissed, having a friend who’s just a year older than me callin’ me “little brother”. But that’s just me! I definitely see why folks dig it, it’s just not my thing.

-I am probably also personally resentful towards the musical because I couldn’t afford to see it this summer, which just felt very ironic considering the themes about class divide and all. Like great, y’all have fun spending a crap ton of money on a musical about greasers. I’ll spend mine on gas for my car. And food. Whatever. I was in NY this summer too, so Broadway Outsiders straight up haunted me. There were brochures for it in the hotel. We walked past the Jacobs Theater a bunch on the way to restaurants and stuff. The ad for it is in the background of all my selfies in Times Square… Aughhhh I’m bein such a bitch about it ik ik it’s so unfair and so stupidly petty for me to be so irritated about it. I know. I can’t help it. Sue me, I’m not a logical man.

-I do NOT care about Paul. But there’s more like…tension w/ Paul in the musical, so obviously everyone’s latched onto him + Darry. Fine. I just really really don’t care about him, and seeing something I don’t care about constantly is turning neutrality into disdain…which is again such a me problem n I needa just get over it lol. I won’t though. I wish I could.

-Not into the way Dally dies in the musical. It is cool, don’t get me wrong, I love me a good train, but something about the way he died in the book/movie felt more like Dally to me. Idk. There was more plausible deniability or something, like Dally could convince himself he was going down fighting instead of “giving up”. (Kinda crass ik but…so is Dally, man)

-The Socs annoy me. That is so hypocritical since one of my favorite characters is Steve Randle. I know it. I swear I do. But ughhhh I just don’t like hearing about them…I’m so sorry

-Soda shouldn’t be that buff man he really shouldn’t. Also feel like he should be prettier. Jason’s good looking, but not in a very “sensitive” way…TO ME! And that is ridiculously unfair of me lol. Idk Rob Lowe’s Soda is irreplaceable to me I think (I can’t help it he’s my gay awakening) (/J/J/J ISTG)

-I miss Steve’s vest man, it was so tuff. The way it’s cropped in the movie to meet the waistband of his jeans?? The way the collar’s popped?? The fit w/ the tank top underneath?? Genuinely the height of coolness to me. I had a denim vest before watching Outsiders, but after watching it I bought one in the same brand as Steve’s because the fit was so fire man (n it does fit better than my old one lol. IDK what it is abt Lee’s denim, but their jacket makes my shoulders + waist look so much better than my old jacket it’s great) tl;dr I miss Steve’s vest it was my fav Outsiders character

-I don’t r e a l l y care much about Ace…I mean she’s ok, and she does look very cool, but I just wish we were clearer on her…role in the gang, I guess? I dunno (maybe if she was Two’s lil sister it wouldn’t bug me? Like cos he canonically has a little sister?? Or if she was like…Sylvia or smth… but nah she occupies an entirely different role so idk how to feel abt that)

-I don’t like that Steve “travelled here w/ Dally”. Steve is SODA’S BEST FRIEND! THAT’S HIS WHOLE ROLE!

-They shoulda casted me. Look I may not like musicals but I can sing GREAT and it’s frankly appalling that there’s a modern Outsiders adaptation and I don’t get to be part of it. Smh. I’d be a great Steve. I coulda been Steve. Plus I’m Asian so yk. Diversity. (I’m a minor they could not and would not cast me lol this one’s a joke)

-I don’t love the Pony n Johnny as best friends take. I think they became close because of Windrixville, which is just another thing that adds to the tragedy of Johnny dying. That’s a nitpick tho again. It’s not that big a deal :,)

Augh so ik I needa just cope with all of this but y’know…you asked… :,)

Sorry again for all this lol 😭

[nerdyquestier]

A universe where Viktor and Mel meet as teenagers, both estranged from their parents for Reasons and both considered immigrants in Piltover due to the differences in their accents

Where Viktor keeps brushing Mel off until one day he’s kept in detention by the academy so late that it’s dark out and the sky is clear enough to see a few constellations, and he gets concerned when he sees her outside alone in the cold and dark. He walks over and asks if she’s unable to get up, forgetting for a moment that that isn’t a common occurrence for most Piltovians, and the concern gets spun onto him in an instant

Where Mel convinces Viktor (after a year of friendship) that she isn’t seeing him as a charity case even when she pays for his food whenever they go somewhere together, but he insists on taking her to Zaun once a month as a compromise (he takes her to Jericho’s and then stops by Benzo’s shop, then never lets her anywhere near Benzo’s again, not that she’d want to go through that much embarrassment again any time soon)

Where Powder comes to find Viktor in Piltover after an argument with Mylo escalated to the point that he told her that they were all better off with her dead, and Mel immediately offers her house when the academy enforcers refuse to let Viktor into his apartment because of Powder’s presence

Where Viktor ends up practically living in Mel’s spare room, only keeping his apartment for storage and to keep up appearances

Where Mel comes home from a gala, ranting in Noxian about how irritating everyone was being, and how the food is so expensive but so bad and not even filling, and Viktor doesn’t even look up from his book when he tells her to check the refrigerator (he’d made several servings of rice and stewed pork, and she continued to rant about how uncultured everyone at the event was as she ate)

Where Viktor officially moves in after the academy refused to make any attempt to accommodate him in the professor apartment building

Where Mel is the one to teach Viktor about the stars during one of many sleepless nights, while her brain is running a million miles an hour and his leg is shooting with too much pain for his brain or body to do anything other than just lay there

Where Viktor rambles in Zaunian to Mel about engineering ideas as she paints, and she responds in Noxian (Neither of them understand one another at first, but after a few years they can somewhat get the general idea of what’s being said)

Where Viktor comes home from the lab one night and is ranting with liberal swearing about how Hextech was the worst idea he’d ever agreed to work on, to round the corner into the living room and see a very drunk Jayce on the couch, with Mel trapped in a hug from him, and Viktor can’t help the way he trails off, or the way he stares for a few seconds before clearing his throat and grabbing the Ionian liquor from the fridge, sitting in the armchair with a smile as he tries not to laugh at the scene before him

Where Jayce questions why Viktor was comfortable enough to allow Mel to talk while he kept his back to her, and he brushes the question off

Where Mel buys Viktor materials for a leg brace that he’d designed for himself in an ideal scenario without commenting on it, leaving them on his desk with the schematics

Where Viktor gets dragged to galas and refuses to wear anything other than Zaunite clothes, so Mel follows suit and wears a Noxian suit-dress. They both get asked home by well-dressed strangers, and decline, then end up in bed together the next morning (mostly clothed, but both thoroughly embarrassed) (it happens again and then becomes a regular event after a Long conversation)

Where Jayce loudly questions why Mel keeps coming into the lab one day while she massages Viktor’s cane hand as he explains something (Neither of them explain their situation, because there’s obviously nothing for them to explain) (Jayce is Very confused and can’t help but feel like he pushed too far. He avoids talking to Mel for a month as much as possible)

Where Mel and Viktor laugh with each other like it’s the most natural thing in the world, and even Heimerdinger has the awareness to avoid interrupting the conversation that flowed back and forth in two completely separate languages

Where Mel managed to get the council to help clear Zaun of pollution to the point of the streets being as clean as in Piltover (no thanks to the enforcers still making everyone’s lives hell down there, but she got not-so-subtly encouraged to leave that alone.)

Where Jayce fumbles his way into their dynamic after drunkenly hooking up with Mel (not remembering that Viktor lived there too) and is passed a cup of tea by a Viktor who won’t meet Jayce’s eyes (he may have forgotten to put a shirt on before leaving Mel’s room, and was exceedingly embarrassed when he realised that was the reason)

[virginiaisforvampires]

I really wish the show would’ve added more tender and intimate (not necessarily explicit) scenes of Loustat. They didn’t have to be long but just have them there, to show us the quiet moments of their relationship. Obviously I know this is a retelling, louis didn’t want to show us those moments and you had Armand’s influence too. I’m not necessarily talking about that aspect of things but just in general.. like if we had a little of dreamstat in s1 to balance out everything, am I making sense. do you think they’re saving it for s3 when we watch their slow burn..

It does make sense.

For what it's worth and I could be wrong, but I'm not sold on classifying their future dynamic as a slow burn either. That's just.....not how those two work. As Jacob has pointed out, from The Vampire Lestat onward, they are very much a couple. The thing is their companionship, at that point in the books, was still riddled with issues. However, that was partly due to the fact Louis simply wasn't ready. It was a paralleling journey with Lestat. The show has upped the ante with them. Lestat is different here. The love story is no longer subtly between the lines with Louis keeping a distance. Louis has already experienced the transformation that happened with his suicide attempt, and that was done deliberately to essentially erase the hesitance on Louis' part and the back and forth with Lestat that happened in the books.

Therefore, I don't agree with these notions about it being a slow burn or them having to "earn" the relationship etc. It's simply not like that, because the love between them is too much and too overwhelming and too powerful. As Sam has said, they're not going to be buddies going on picnics. They will always set each other's worlds on fire, and I think seeing them together in S3, knowing what we know about each one of them individually — how they grieved the other and how they love each other desperately — I think it will be something really special to behold, and it won't fit into any humanistic categories exactly because they are not human and what they have transcends those confines.

But all of that is just as a note. ^^

Because yes, I do believe Lestat's POV of Louis will be something else entirely. We saw glimpses of the tenderness and deep intimacy between them even from Louis. Lestat's POV is just going to give us the full magnitude in explicit, blazing colors.

The biggest telltale moment rattling in my mind is the letter. The man who wrote a letter like that? Get ready to see their love story written in pure lovestruck poetry.

And of course, I'm also very interested to see how they fully delve into the revelations that one, Louis and Lestat breathe in sync and their hearts beat in sync and two, they can feel each other's emotions. That kind of connection.....I get goosebumps just imagining the possibilities of how those elements could be incorporated to complete the picture Louis has already painted of their fatal love.

[mallo-person]

Yayya found thisssss

1) uhhsnm I am fictionkin and I think just shapeshifterkin? I only rlly lable myself as a fictionkin dude :P

2) I have alot!!!! Uhh but I got 4 object show ones, 3 Pokémon, 2 A Hat in Time, and all the rest are one offs for the media they are from.

3) yah! Most common is: Book (BFB), Shadow Kirby, Poppy bro Jr, Dimentio, and Rotom Pokedex!

4) uhh just in the background of my mind unless I am experiencing a heavy kinshift. Just, for me, feels like normal memories that I don't really look into otherwise, well, unless I feel that my old memories would help me.

5) I find it neet :3! Don't really interact with others but I'm glad it exists :]

6) Anytime I dream of being my kin!! As I generally, have really realistic feeling dreams, and it helps alot for me :]. While for comfortable, uhh I know that I am me!! And who I use to be was a more common experience, glad to have found others who felt what I felt, as that means I'm not alone.

7) yes :[. Usualy happens when in a big kinshift, but even when I'm not I still wish to be a void creature. Shape-shifting would make me happy again.

8) I AM BAD AT ADIVCE. But uh, domt be to hard on yourself and for labeling your experiences. You are you, and if you feel stressed trying to figure things out, take a breather. You need to take time, as finding out yourself takes forever. Don't let that discourage you, though, it is worth it.(Take me, who awaken in 2021 and still finding out new things about my alterhumanity).

9) nope and nope!

10) honeslty got no clue, I may just be an old soul trying to learn a lesson that I keep failing at lmao. Either experiencing what I dealt to others or giving what I was dealt to the people around me. Just a cycle of existence for me with no end it sight <3

11) hii hii bestie only do this if u comfy <333 @paper-bee-does-xrt

If you are an alter/nonhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ��

[elainsgirl]

i absolutely don’t believe this will happen, but let’s say hypothetically maas throws all three books of elriel build up and foreshadowing down the drain and makes elucien canon (i’ll be generous for the antis and add gwynriel in this fantasy too). you know what that will mean? that maas is a bad author. point blank. you don’t write all these intricate things that very obviously points to one thing and then suddenly pivot to something else after one book. but the thing is, maas in not a bad writer. she just unfortunately has a lot of readers who completely misunderstand the story she is trying to tell. which is a shame

EXACTLY.

What author introduces a supposed love interest so late into the series, in fact in a spinoff? That too, doesn’t even make them offical love interests? What author would have the male character ready to beg on his knees for one woman, only to end up with someone he wouldn’t consider a friend? Even for elucien - look at what Mass has wrote about them. “What if the cauldron was wrong?” “I cringed at the thought of them” “she was nothing like Jesminda” “I dont want a mate” “she shrank back, losing her new found boldness” Elain not even using or admiring Luciens gifts, ready to kiss another man without hesitation despite her mate being up stairs.

Elucien and Gwynriel have the worst build ups ever. So many people who haven’t even read the bonus, aka hundreds of thousands of readers, would be so confused about why you now have a book starring Az and Nesta’s friend when he was in acosf sharing charged glances with Elain and following the sound of her laugh. As for Elucien, its like, just why. Why would Sjm have questioned eluciens bond? Why have Feyre wonder why elriel aren’t mates? Why didn’t she give Elucien an imagery like she did w Vassien and Elriel. Its just so unnecessarily complicated and confusing- It doesn’t seem like Sjm,

Sjm who plans in advance, if Gwynriel was always meant to be - you’d think she would’ve set them up a lot sooner. If elucien was always endgame - what was the point of elriel ? Its just a useless complication. Elucien had angst without elriel being added, that Mass could have built on. She didn’t.

Unfortunately, Sjm has readers that are too biased to accept what she is planning. Readers that quite frankly- are expecting a LOT from her when in the end - Sjm follows the easy path. I dont think - romance wise - she’s into plottwists or things that would require a lot of retconning anymore, especially for ACOTAR.

[majoryeager104]

Totally Accurate Tomura Shigaraki Headcanons!!

I made one for Keigo, I made a few for Touya, it’s time for my princess (who desperately needs chapstick) with a disorder, Shiggy

warnings: general insanity. Enjoy :3

✦••······················••✦•······················•✦••······················••✦

contrary to popular belief

Tomura is actually very hygenic

idk why some people assume that bc he’s a nerd that he’s just a greasy incel

this man was raised by all for one.

AFO’s theme gives mad mafia vibes every time he’s on screen

bro is not greasy

in fact he’s probably the most well kept person in the league (Toga is a very close second)

with how his skin is he’s probably constantly trying things to ease the pain and itching

so he’s probably already got a skincare routine

it just don’t work visually cos he is ✨aShY✨

smh get this man some Korean skincare

cos unlike everyone else in the league he’d let you

He’d get invested

we stan clean girl Tomura

Moving on

I don’t think he likes coffee that much chat

it’s not because of the taste

it’s because if he has too much caffeine his hands get shaky

and that makes him anxious that he might accidentally decay something

its happened before

he’s gone through so many gaming remotes

he was drinking coffee while reading a book one time and accidentally decayed it because his hands were shaky

Poor baby

I have a feeling that once or twice the league members have accidentally made him decay something because they were goofing off

like bumping into him while he’s holding something

But every time they all felt bad and everyone pitched in to replace it

What a bunch of sweethearts omg

I said this a while back in some older posts (I think it was a hc request actually)

but Tomura loves cuddles

…on the condition that he gets to wear oven mitts

he takes no chances

bros got four layers of gloves TAPED to his hands

Don’t touch them he’ll get huffy

hes just worried tho

i know we moved on from him decaying random things

but on this note he has accidentally decayed a plushie or two

the guilt in this man’s eyes afterwards is insurmountable

so he bought you five more

and let you pick

like he dragged you to the store

and was like ‘pick whatever you want NEOWWW 😾’

hes such a cutie pie

and one last thing

he cares so much.

like, every single day, whether it’s you or the league members

hes constantly making sure you’ve all eaten

that you’re feeling okay

that you’re DOING okay

he may be a villain

but he’s also a really good leader and friend

and he’s also so attached to you guys it’s insane

✦••······················••✦•······················•✦••······················••✦

thank you for coming to my ted talk-

I might make another one next week or in a few days he’s just so ugh 🥺

so pookie so bbg so coquette it makes me wanna add a cute pink bow to the banner

[sir-tuitsum]

Heir. [Al Haitham X Reader]

Warnings: slavery, pregnancy, birthing is implied, somewhat loss of bodily autonomy?, unedited.

Notes: I'm sorry if I mischaracterized him in anyway. This was also unedited, if it sounds disjointed and sounds like word vomit, I'm also sorry for that.

***************************************

You had been with Alina since birth, the daughter of a slave who had served Alina’s mother. It was simply how things were, how they had always been. You were bound by blood, by law, and by custom to serve Alina as her personal maidservant. The years blurred by, one after the other, until it felt like there was no distinction between them. Alina, bright eyed and full of laughter, and You, quiet and watchful, their lives intertwined in a twisted fashion.

The royal estate was a sprawling grandeur built on generations of unyielding wealth. Alina had been raised here, swaddled in luxury from the moment she took her first breath. It was a life that glittered on the surface, but beneath that gleaming light, there was a steady, unspoken shadow and it was one that kept You in constant service.

And then Alina would reach the marriageable age, your service would not end. Unlike transported goods, noble brides had the chance of choosing certain parts of the dowry, like handmaidens or a few pieces of jewelry from their home to take with them to their new household. Unsurprisingly, your work will be continuing in a foreign land. To serve your mistress until death is an honor anyhow.

The wedding was a spectacle of formality, a show for guests, and Alina stood in the center of it, hands trembling in the silk of her gown, but her gaze always drawn to Haitham. The man she was to marry stood tall, his face unreadable, his eyes were distant. Alina spoke little to him during the ceremony, and Haitham barely seemed to notice her at all. It was clear to her that he was a man bound by duty, just as she was. His gaze flitted between the guests, his attention scattered, until the moment finally arrived for them to retire to their shared chambers.

That night, as both women stood in front of the vanity, the new bride spoke of her newly wed, “He looked not at me but at that book, in the middle of celebrations.” She said in her brittle tone, “he does not want me.”

“Mayhaps, he felt the shy of chastity?” You responded.

“He has claimed he mourns the death of his dear mother, I see this as no proper attitude of the head of a family like this.” Alina sneered, “pushing back proper duties like this for personal feelings is something you do not see in men. Aye, this marriage is already off to a bad start. I should write to my father already that he has married me to a dwindling woman and not a man of status.” She followed up after.

You remained silent, you did not have a right to voice so many opinions in one night.

.

.

.

Unfortunately the mourning period is over, so his next excuse was workload. Sometimes he will say he is tired, other times he must spend half the night inside his study then he will sleep there. The point is, the newlyweds did not speak, face to face.

There are natural acts of communication that have always happened between man and wife, as in the woman asking the husband for his opinion before proceeding or the act of reporting to him her latest household activities. Silly trivialities Alina did not feel like doing, for she would not beg for the words of a man married to ink and paper instead of her own self. It is only sensible she sends a lowly slave to report to him.

The banquet was to be a grand affair, a celebration of her union with Haitham as the wife of the new household head but Alina had sent You with a specific task to make sure the details were in Haitham’s hands, swiftly and precisely. To let him know and have his permission to carry it through, as if she hadn't started planning the event and was almost finished, of course. Haitham sat at a large, polished desk, hunched over a large book, his sharp features concentrated in the glow of a candle. He didn’t look up when you entered. Your eyes flickered over him for just a moment, noting the hard lines of his jaw, as though whatever lay before him had far more weight than anything you might carry.

“Lord Haitham.” You announced quietly, your face slightly lowered in respect.

Haitham’s eyes lifted up from the book, they had the sharpness of that bird, you cannot remember the name of the vulture as of now. It was a look you didn't feel used to, it was hard but it did not remind you to not look into the eyes of what's above you. It seemed to study your worth instead of judging it.

“What is it?” A tone steady with no warmth. It was like a liberating feeling to hear the mouth of a silent man like him. For the first time.

“My lady requests your thoughts on her banquet, my lord.”

His eyes shifted to the scroll in your hands and he studied it too, then looked back at you again, “She wants to create a spectacle I'm guessing?”

“My lady said it is necessary for families to see the strength of the alliance and to introduce herself into this society’s heart.”

“It is a spectacle, then.”

You didn't know what that word meant, to be honest. You only stood there waiting for his next order on the project.

He sighed, leaning back into his chair. He seemed to gather on his own that this meant he might have to grace the banquet with his presence to strengthen her idea, though it worked with his wife on her own. You guessed he did not have cared for it, his reaction gave you the intel of his thoughts on the matter.

“I see,” He began, “leave the scroll there.” He gestured to the open spots on his desk.

You made your way to his desk, stopping in front of it with careful steps taken. You laid the scroll at the front of his table, seeking an object to lay on it so passing winds of the open window would not cause it to blow away from his reach. In your reach for his comfort, you ruined your own. Your hand had managed to knock over his freshly grinded ink, spilling the contents onto the large book of contents you did not even understand. Picking it up in haste would never be enough, after doing this you dropped in front of him with a lowered head and clasped hands.

You remembered now when you dropped a head cloth for Alina in the mud at a younger age and they made sure you bled enough to replicate the mess you made with mud on your mistress’ shirt.

What you looked for did not come.

“I'm going to need you to grind more ink.” His voice sounded uncomfortable, “you cannot grind my ink if you cannot reach the desk.”

You did not get a lash or warning so you looked up at him, slowly at that. Your mistress’ husband’s eyes were narrowed but there was an error in his face, it didn't have the same indifferent studying features you saw when you first entered. It felt a bit odd in a man like himself. It reminded you of Alina when a suitor would approach her but not suit her fancy so she gave them a weird look and it made the situation uncomfortable all the time.

Uncomfortable you were, the silent response wasn't what you were used to so you gazed up at him in silence. His face became more strange, “Were you born slow minded?” He sneered at her, “I need that ink for work, you are delaying me.”

Neither of you spoke as you stood at a side table, for the safety of his other documents, close by his side, grinding the new ink you sought.

.

.

.

You did not mean to linger. In truth, you were meant to return back to your mistress’ quarters and sleep by her bedside now that the work is finished and she had been tucked in for bed by yourself. It is just that, on your way back from going to get snacks for the lady, in the case of her waking up at late hours, you had stopped to admire the clear, crisp air you felt on your face while passing an open door. You assumed a maid must've been finishing up some laundry or some other chore to be out this late. You wouldn't blame them, the calm of this time compared to the hustle of servant work in the daytime must have been something.

You stood on the veranda, your fingers brushing over the smooth, chilled small walls that separates you from the dirt of the other side as you gazed up at the sky. The stars were scattered, faint behind thin clouds, and for a brief moment, you let herself forget where you were, who you were. Your mind seemed to separate itself from your body and you wondered if other people could fall asleep when conscious.

The crisp night air filled your lungs as you stood beneath the sky, lingering in the fleeting moment of peace. It was rare to find time unclaimed by duty, where you could simply exist without the weight of expectation pressing upon you. The stars above, distant and unconcerned, shimmered with an indifference that you envied.

But peace was a fragile thing.

“Lingering outside at such an hour?”

The voice, steady yet sharp, cut through the silence like a blade. You stiffened before turning your head slightly, eyes catching the silhouette of Haitham standing a few paces away. Even in the dim light, his presence was unmistakable, rigid yet unreadable. You lowered your head quickly, fingers curling against the chilled stone of the railing.

“My lord,” you murmured, lowering into a quick bow. “I did not mean to idle. I was merely returning to my lady’s chambers.”

There was a pause, as if he were assessing whether your answer was sufficient. Then, in a tone lacking both warmth and irritation, he said, “By standing out here?”

You swallowed, choosing your words carefully. “It is a quiet night, my lord. The air is clear.”

Another pause. Then, to your quiet surprise, he stepped closer, gaze shifting from you to the sky above. His arms remained folded behind his back, his posture composed but strangely at ease. He stood beside you in silence, and for the first time since your arrival, you were not entirely certain what he was thinking.

“You find comfort in such things?” he asked at last, his tone carrying something lighter, something more contemplative than before.

You hesitated before answering. “It is not my place to seek comfort, my lord.”

“Then, you were seeking it?”

“... the air felt comforting and I forgot my duty.”

His gaze flickered toward you then, though you did not meet it. He did not speak immediately, and you wondered if you had overstepped, if you had spoken too freely. But when he did reply, it was not in reprimand.

“That is a way to look at it.”

You glanced at him now, just briefly. His expression was still unreadable, but something about the way he regarded the stars—as if weighing their worth against his own burdens—made your stomach twist in an unfamiliar way. He was a man whose thoughts you could never presume to know, but in this moment, he seemed less distant, less untouchable.

“You should return,” he said finally, his voice resuming its usual steadiness. “It would not do for Alina to wake and find you absent.”

You bowed again, murmuring an obedient, “Yes, my lord.” But as you stepped away, retreating back into the quiet halls of the estate, you felt his gaze linger on your back.

And for reasons you could not name, that thought unsettled you more than anything else.

.

.

.

You were the vessel of words between Haitham and Alina, and though he never spoke more than necessary, the weight of his scrutiny had lessened. He had grown used to your presence, and you had grown used to his silences. What once felt like an obligation now became routine—expected, unspoken.

The grand banquet hall gleamed under the light of hundreds of flickering candles, their glow reflecting off the polished gold filigree of the vaulted ceiling. Perfume clung to the air, a mix of roses, jasmine, and the faintest trace of incense. Laughter bubbled through the room in elegant waves, conversations flowing like fine wine poured into goblets that never seemed to empty.

Alina sat among the noblewomen, her gown shimmering with intricate embroidery, her fingers elegantly curled around the stem of her cup. She was poised, polite, as she always was, but you could see the slight tension in her brow. Across from her, a group of newly wedded young women spoke animatedly, their hands resting gently upon their stomachs as they shared knowing smiles. Their voices carried just enough to be overheard, but not so much as to be considered impolite.

"Oh, the first months were difficult," one of them, Lady Inesse, sighed with a theatrical tilt of her head. "But we are stronger for it. Lord Adrien has been so attentive. He hardly lets me lift a finger."

"Yes, my husband is the same," another woman chimed in, resting a delicate hand on her belly. "The moment he found out, he insisted I rest more. He says a strong heir must be nurtured from the very beginning."

Alina smiled, lips pressed together in a thin, unreadable line. "How fortunate," she murmured, tilting her goblet slightly so the wine swirled within. "Not all marriages bear fruit so soon."

The women's smiles remained, but there was an unmistakable air of self-satisfaction in the glances they exchanged. "Indeed," one of them said, her voice sweet as honey, "but I suppose when a man is devoted to his wife, things progress naturally."

Alina did not respond, merely taking a slow sip of her wine. You knew that look, her patience was thinning.

"My lady," you murmured quietly at her side, a message relayed from her husband, who sat further down the hall amongst the other noblemen. "Lord Haitham wishes to know if you are comfortable."

Her fingers tapped lightly against the table before she nodded. "Tell him I am enjoying the conversation immensely," she said, her tone smooth, betraying nothing.

You turned, walking the measured steps toward where Haitham sat among his peers. He looked up as you approached, his expression as unreadable as ever, though his gaze flicked briefly over your face, as if measuring the weight of what you carried.

"She says she is enjoying the conversation immensely, my lord."

A muscle in his jaw twitched. "A lie, then," he muttered, before shifting his attention back to his plate. "Tell her to be gracious."

You nodded and made your way back, relaying his words softly into Alina’s ear. She exhaled sharply, the only sign of her annoyance, before plastering on a pleasant smile. "Of course."

As the night stretched on, the subtle exchanges continued. Alina, the picture of noble grace, smiled through the arrogance of the other wives, while Haitham remained at a distance, speaking only through you.

A servant approached you quietly, murmuring Haitham’s request for his wife’s presence. Alina’s lips pursed, but she did not refuse. Instead, she took a deliberate sip of her wine before gesturing for you to handle the matter first, as always. With a nod, you stepped away from the table, making your way toward Haitham’s usual spot at the far end of the hall.

You found him standing slightly apart from the main festivities, engaged in conversation with a few older noblemen. He caught sight of you before you even spoke, dismissing the men with a short nod before turning his attention to you.

“She wishes to remain,” you informed him.

He exhaled slowly, as if he had expected as much. “Of course she does.”

You hesitated for a moment before speaking again. “There are women speaking of their early pregnancies.”

His gaze sharpened slightly at that, though his face betrayed nothing else. “And?”

You chose your words carefully. “They are… boastful.”

A dry smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. “I imagine my wife is displeased.”

You nodded once.

He took a sip of his wine, his eyes flicking toward the banquet table where Alina remained. “I see,” he mused, though there was no urgency in his tone. Then, shifting his gaze back to you, he asked, “And you? Are you displeased as your mistress is?”

The question was unexpected. You blinked, momentarily caught off guard, before lowering your gaze once more. “It is not my place to be.”

For a moment, there was silence. Then, with a soft scoff, he shook his head. “Always so careful.”

You said nothing. After all, it was not your place to respond to such things.

He turned away first, moving to return to his wife’s side, and you followed, as you always did.

It was an odd thing, you thought, being caught between them, between a woman scorned by her husband's indifference and a man too removed from the expectations set upon him. And yet, you had grown so accustomed to it that you no longer questioned it.

You were their voice when they had none for each other.

.

And you would be more.

Alina’s marriage, a strategic alliance, had borne no fruit. No physical connection between her and Haitham, nor the child that society expected to see from the union of their houses. In her heart, she knew this was more than a personal desire. A child wasn’t merely a sign of intimacy; it was a symbol of power, security, and legitimacy.

It was not uncommon in the aristocratic circles for heirs to be born outside the confines of their marriage bed. History, as it had always been, had seen many such acts carried out in silence, and in some cases, even with the consent of the husband. The purpose was simple: the creation of a legitimate heir without the social complications of a wife’s infidelity or public scandal. Alina, sharp-minded and always calculating, knew the importance of this. Her father, a man of vast influence, had married her off to Haitham to secure their family’s political future, and there would be no room for failure. A child, especially a male heir, would solidify her place and make her indispensable to her husband’s claim.

But where Haitham was distant and emotionally detached, Alina found an inconvenient truth: he had yet to sleep with her, and thus, no child had come of it. The initial excuses; mourning, workload, personal affairs, had grown thinner with each passing week, yet his indifference remained. If she were to have an heir, it seemed clear that she would not be the one to provide him with it.

Alina’s solution was neither swift nor easy, but it was the only option left that she could control. She had, after all, a willing participant in her service: you. Her maidservant, loyal and quiet, had always been there, a constant presence in the background of her life. Alina knew you were devoted to her, perhaps even more than your duty required, and in a strange way, she had come to trust you in the most unusual ways.

One evening, when the estate was quiet, and the scent of incense drifted lazily through the air, Alina summoned you to her chambers. Her voice was soft but firm, and she dismissed the others with a swift motion of her hand before pulling you aside. She regarded you with a calculated look that betrayed little of the storm within her.

“You understand, don’t you?” she asked, her eyes hard and unwavering. “The importance of an heir. Of securing our place, our future. It is what we need to maintain our power and solidify this alliance. The alliance is everything, and the heir must come. Without it, we are nothing.”

You lowered your gaze, unsure of what she meant but not daring to ask. Alina continued, her words sharp, like a blade, but her tone controlled.

“I have made many considerations, and the most sensible, the most logical path forward is for you to carry Haitham’s child.”

Her words hung in the air, and for a long moment, silence followed. You had been trained to remain calm, to serve without question, but this request was one that felt different. Your breath caught in your throat, though you said nothing. This was a decision of magnitude, one that carried the weight of not only your life but the future of the entire household.

“You are… willing to bear his child, to ensure the survival of this house, to make certain we are not forgotten? I trust you, more than any other.”

Alina’s voice softened, but there was an undercurrent of command in her tone. This was not a mere request; it was a calculated demand, and in some twisted way, it was the only way forward if she was to have the power she desired.

The weight of her words settled upon you, and for the first time, you found yourself at a loss for how to respond. To carry a child that would never be yours, to act as a vessel for the ambitions of a woman who had shown little kindness to you in recent months, was not a simple task. And yet, you knew the reality of your situation. You were bound by duty, by a system that left you with few options.

You had been taught to serve, and this was a service unlike any other. Alina was offering you a choice, but in truth, there was no choice. You could not refuse without risking everything you had built up to this point.

With a slow breath, you lowered your head, your voice barely a whisper as you responded, “Yes, my lady. I will do what is necessary.”

Was it necessary anyway? You asked this to yourself loudly in your head.

Alina nodded, as if she had expected this answer, though a flicker of something unspoken passed through her eyes. She had known you would comply, as you always did. The plan was set in motion, and despite the unease that curled in your stomach, you understood what must be done.

“You are my personal maidservant. You belong to me. Therefore, your child by my husband is as good as mine.”

And she had planned it all well. The next few days were perfectly arranged. Her tear jogging and the summon of the doctor, at the feet of Haitham’s beloved old grandmother who treated Alina like her own, she whimpered of her body’s inabilities despite efforts of Haitham and herself. The sweet woman could only feel pity for another woman and for her only grandchild, what would be the future of this household, if only.

It did not take a fortune to convince this sweet old lady, not with Alina’s planning and waterworks. Haitham, ever indifferent, supposedly remained unaware of the intricacies unfolding around him.

The night of conception came like a quiet storm. Alina had ensured that Haitham would be present in the chamber, though there was no discussion between them about the task at hand. It was simply a matter of circumstance, a duty that needed to be fulfilled. You would be the one to bear the heir, to ensure the continuity of the house’s bloodline, and Alina’s power.

As if, this was Al Haitham. In some ways, you had gotten to know him over the course of months. A man of his caliber would only come to distrust and distance himself from such a wife, perhaps away from you as well knowing your part in it if he were to ever find out they had planned for you to do this with him without his knowledge.

The room felt unnaturally still, as though the air itself had frozen in time. The soft flicker of candlelight cast shadows that danced across the walls, shifting with every slight movement. The faint scent of incense filled the room, mingling with the heaviness of the moment. Your heart raced in your chest, the rhythmic thudding a sharp contrast to the oppressive silence that hung between you both.

You had expected this to be different. Perhaps not in the way you had imagined– no, that would have been far too simple. But the tension, the weight of what was happening now, felt too real, too immediate. There was a strange pulse to the air, a magnetic tension that made your skin crawl with a mix of fear, something else. Something you couldn’t name.

Your eyes were on him, Haitham, who lay there, a stark contrast to his usual reserved, controlled demeanor. This wasn’t the same man you had observed from the corners of the room, the distant ruler whose every move was calculated, every glance deliberate. No, this man was almost too present. His actions were methodical, but there was no hesitation in them. He was going through the motions, but his eyes held a depth that left you uneasy, as if he could see you for who you truly were in this vulnerable moment.

You had always known your place, always understood the dynamics of your position. You were a servant, an unseen presence, a quiet fixture in the grand scheme of things. But now, here, in this moment, with him on top of you, there was no illusion of distance. The line between mistress and servant, between ruler and subject, blurred in a way you had never anticipated.

The room was silent, save for the faint sounds of your breath, as the plan played out as it had been orchestrated.

The sensation of his body against yours was jarring, foreign. The coldness in his touch unsettled you, but there was something more, a sense of inevitability. You had been chosen for this. But why? The confusion gnawed at you. You had never been part of any plan like this before, not one so personal, so… intimate. Why had he agreed to this? Why had he, of all people, allowed himself to fall into the role you had orchestrated? It was out of character. Here he was, doing exactly what was needed, exactly what Alina wanted, without question or protest.

If you listened to your foolish thoughts anymore, it would tell you his movements felt almost passionate. It was too out of character so you blamed the wine for ruining your common sense.

.

.

The moment the physicians confirmed it, you could feel the weight of the change settling in your chest, the flutter of the tiny life inside you somehow more real than anything you had ever known.

You walked with your head held high, side by side with your mistress, despite the deep, twisting confusion that churned in your stomach. Why had Haitham agreed? Why had he allowed this to happen? The question still echoed in your mind, unanswered and impossible to forget. Yet, as the days stretched into weeks, your questions became more focused on the now: the child growing inside you.

The weight of your pregnancy seemed to follow and burden you everywhere. When you were in the gardens, the sunlight no longer seemed as warm. The birds no longer sang as sweetly. The air itself felt like it was watching you, waiting for something. You could no longer escape the fact that this child, the product of a choice made for your mistress’ own interests, was the key to your future, your place within the palace, and possibly even your survival.

It was impossible to ignore now. The signs were clear, undeniable. Your abdomen had begun to round ever so slightly, a gentle curve that only seemed to grow with time. The subtle shifts in your body, a slight swell here, the soft tenderness of your skin were constant reminders of the child you carried, the child that had begun this entire chain of events.

The pregnancy, the child, had become a symbol, a weapon, and a future all in one. And for all that it was supposed to bring, it had already begun to take so much from you. It was not just your body that had changed, but your entire existence.

You were no longer just a maid. You were the vessel of an heir. You were a cornerstone of a household's future. And as the days passed, the walls of the manor seemed to close in tighter, each step you took echoing with the gravity of the choice you had never made, but had been forced to accept.

That old woman was happy too but you did not care.

Alina was happy too, the sense of completeness you felt when her wants were fulfilled weren't there. You can't describe your feelings right now and you didn't want to.

But Haitham..

The pregnancy, your growing belly, the fact that he had been part of the very act that had led to this point—none of it was discussed. His presence in your life hadn’t changed much on the surface. He still avoided your gaze in private, keeping a calm and collected demeanor, his mask of stoicism firmly in place. But there was something there. Something that lingered in his eyes when they flickered toward your belly, a subtle moment of discomfort, of something unreadable.

At first, Haitham kept his distance. His attention was always elsewhere, his mind consumed with matters of state, but there was an unspoken understanding that now you were irrevocably linked. He had made his choice, whether out of obligation, duty, or some other reasoning you could not grasp, and now you carried the consequence of that choice.

His visits to your chambers were scarce, but when they came, they were filled with a politeness you were not used to. You wouldn't call it cold, though. The tension that hung between you was palpable. He would glance at your growing belly, his face unreadable, and then turn away. You could feel the subtle discomfort in the air whenever he stood near you, as though he too was struggling to comprehend what was unfolding.

You caught it sometimes, fleeting glances when he thought you weren’t paying attention. In the quiet moments when you passed him in the hallways or when you stood in his presence during the day’s events, you could feel him watching, but never looking too long. As if he feared that if he stared for even a moment, the reality of the situation would be too much for him to bear.

It was as though the whole thing was a shadow between you, this pregnancy, this child, looming over every interaction.

The memory lingered in your mind, playing in your thoughts when silence enveloped your chambers. How he had agreed, how he had acted without hesitation, despite everything you had tried to seduce him. You knew he was a man of logic, of control, of reason. Why would he break his own rules for you? There had been no passion in that night, no desperate desire. It felt clinical, almost. He hadn’t even been drunk; he hadn’t been swayed by emotions or intoxication. And somehow, you were now pregnant with his child.

You tried to focus on the child. There was little room in your mind for anything else. The weight of the future now rested on this unborn life. And yet as your pregnancy progressed, you found it harder and harder to look at him without feeling a mix of frustration and confusion. You had thought he would keep his distance, remain cold, as he always did, but there was something different now. He no longer avoided you with the same clear indifference he once did. His gaze lingered for just a moment too long when he saw you. He would pretend to be lost in his thoughts but would always glance back at you, his expression unreadable, as though unsure how to handle you now.

.

.

.

The birth came quickly, much faster than you anticipated. The days leading up to it had been filled with a quiet dread, an anxiety that hung over you like a thick fog. Despite everything that had led to this moment, you could not shake the feeling of unease. The manor had become a blur of whispers and well-meaning visits, but in those final days, all that mattered was the quiet urgency of labor.

Haitham was nowhere to be found during the most excruciating hours. You hadn’t expected his presence; after all, you weren’t sure if he would even acknowledge the child once it was born but his absence felt heavier than it should have. The room was filled with the sounds of your breathing, the anxious murmurs of the attendants, the rustling of linens. The only thing that mattered in that moment was the child, the child you had carried in silence, the child that would change the course of everything.

When the time came, it was not like you had imagined. There were no comforting words, no hand to hold. They assured you had the best midwives, but there was something detached about it all. It was business, almost. Everything felt calculated, as though the child’s arrival was as much a political event as a personal one.

You could feel the child moving, every contraction a reminder that your body was no longer your own. The pain was intense, but you pushed through it, through the moments of sharp discomfort, through the quiet exhaustion that gnawed at you.

And then, finally, there was silence. For a brief moment, all of the noise, the world, the palace, the turmoil, fell away. The child, your child, had arrived. It cried out, its tiny voice piercing the quiet, demanding attention.

The attendants moved quickly, wrapping the child in soft blankets and handing it to you, but you barely noticed. Your eyes were still unfocused, the lingering pain of childbirth pulling you under. You only registered the weight of the child in your arms, the warmth of its small body, and for the first time, you felt a flicker of something other than confusion. Was it a relief? Or just a momentary lapse in the fog that had clouded your mind since the conception?

You looked down at the child, a tiny life so fragile and innocent. Its features were too young to distinguish fully, but you could already feel the pull of something strong inside of you. This child, though born of necessity, now seemed to be more than just a pawn. It was real. It was here.

As the attendants filed out of the room, you were left alone with the child, the soft sound of its breathing filling the space between you and the empty room. A strange emptiness settled over you as you sat there, unsure of what to feel. There was no joy, at least, not the way you imagined it should be. There was no overwhelming love that flooded your chest, no tearful happiness. Instead, you felt… trapped. The responsibility of it all was suddenly clearer than it had ever been.

If Alina was in the manor today, she would've grabbed this bundle and paraded it around as her proud work. For once, you felt yourself wishing she was here to do that. She only knew to take all from you but responsibility.

Then, unexpectedly, the door to your chambers opened.

Haitham stood in the doorway, his figure outlined by the soft glow of candlelight. His gaze landed immediately on the child, his face unreadable. The silence between the two of you stretched for what felt like an eternity. You watched him, unable to look away, waiting for some sort of acknowledgment.

For a long moment, he didn’t move. His eyes flicked to you, then back to the child. Then, almost imperceptibly, he took a step forward, the sound of his boots muted on the stone floor.

He didn’t speak at first, and you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything either. His gaze was fixed on the child, his eyes narrow but not unkind. You could almost see the weight of the moment pressing down on him, the realization of everything that had transpired in this room.

Finally, he spoke, his voice low, almost as if testing the words before he allowed them to escape.

“It’s… done,” he said, the words simple, but heavy.

You nodded slowly, uncertain of how to respond. “Yes.”

Haitham stepped closer, his eyes never leaving the child. He paused for a long moment, and for the first time since the pregnancy began, you wondered if he was truly seeing the reality of it all. Was he finally understanding the gravity of what had been set in motion? Or was this just another task to him—something he had no choice but to accept?

He reached out, just slightly, as though unsure how to touch the fragile, new life. His fingers hovered near the child’s blanket, but he did not touch it.

For a moment, the room seemed impossibly still, the tension thick. And then, without warning, Haitham’s voice broke through the silence again, softer this time, as if speaking to himself.

“It’s… ours,” he murmured, the words barely a whisper, but they landed heavy in the space between you both.

You looked at him, studying his face, trying to make sense of what had just passed between you. He didn’t meet your gaze, his eyes lingering instead on the child, his hand now gently brushing against the soft fabric of the blanket.

There was something deeper in his tone—something more than just himself, something raw and unspoken.

For a moment, you thought you saw something, something fleeting in his eyes. A flicker of doubt? Regret? Was it something else? You weren't used to different emotions from him so it was impossible to tell. But in that brief moment, you wondered if the child, the very thing that had bound you together in a web of politics, might also be the thing that changed everything between you.

But for now, there was only silence. Only the child in your arms, and the strange tension that hung between you and Haitham.

**************************************

Notes: this is a second apology if this sounded like word vomit.