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valleyoftheedolls · 2 months

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i am not gay. i am not gay. i am not gay. i am not gay. i am not gay. i am not gay.

#THE GIRLS WIN TODAY #CHEWS ON NAILS AGGRESSIVELY #i'm skipping 2.0 just for this whole patch #i'm goinf to put argus in my pocket #BARBARA TOO!!!#no darker skinned character though..#2.2 sneaky peak is set somewhere near the equador so i have really high hopes #can i order more poc rep next patch please bluepoch. please.#might change my theme after this trailer sizzles for a couple of days #— ena's shenanigans ; 🦢#reverse: 1999 cn #reverse: 1999 #okay fine i'm gay #re-did tags because i was exploding when i posted this

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shima-draws · 1 year

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Currently in my banging my head against the wall phase. Hope you all are well 🥰

#Doc told me to schedule another MRI on Tuesday. They said they sent the order over on Tuesday.#I call on Tuesday to schedule the appointment. They don't have the referral yet #I called yesterday to try and schedule. They STILL don't have the referral #I message my doc and make sure they actually sent it over to the right place. (They did.)#They say they'll fax it over again! Great!#I call AGAIN today. They STILL don't have the referral #Bro I just need to schedule this fucking MRI so I can find out what's WRONG with me #The girl on the phone was like 'Oh yeah we're real busy we get orders all the time it must not have hit the system yet'#BRO IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS. HOW HAS NOBODY SEEN IT. TEARING my hair out #I went to their website to try and schedule online. Guess what? THEIR GODDAMN SCHEDULING ASSISTANT IS DOWN FOR MAITENANCE #SCREAMS #Anyway yes so in my banging my head against the wall phase. I'm so tired #And still in pain! To nobody's surprise!!#They can't fix what's wrong with me if I can't even get in to get an MRI. Hello. PLEASE #This isn't really smth that can wait a couple weeks #I should've been in to see them like YESTERDAY.#My pain is so bad I had to stay at home today. And I go and ice my back every hour or so #Bc I can't sit down for more than 45 minutes without wanting to kill myself ;))))#Shima speaks #I'M SORRY I'm just so. I've been over this for months. And now that I'm THIS close to getting answers #I can't. Seem to get these people to schedule an appointment for me #Grinds my teeth

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korusalka · 3 months

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#saw a friend today who decided on having kids now that she's getting married to her longtime boyfriend #i deeply appreciate that friend but i never got on board with how she speaks so matter-of-factly of having a baby #bc she believes she 'owes' her significantly older bf #another motivation seems to be that she just wants to be done with her job and become a sahm (crossong myself)#also shes annoyed by other kids but bought into the idea that 'it's different once they're yours'#well yeah for life and death reasons not because your child suddenly becomes a ray of sunshine 24/7 #idk idk i see how she could manage somehow but she gets easily overwhelmed and dissatisfied as it is&says she doesn't have any savings so.#hm. worried.#also wanting to become pregnant to have a reason to stop smoking as if there aren't so many pregnant women smoking right this second #between this and my friend who keeps dating mentally unstable men in order to have a kid despite a risk of maternal death #and a another befriended couple that seems to be head over heels for getting pregnant asap despite some red flags #it feels very very isolating to be a woman right now #oh i forgot to vent that friend a seems to reject it when i say that statistically it can take like a year to get pregnant #and she also doesn't want to get tested.#like i get that since im not planning on kids rn and took active steps for birth control im more aware of the risks and statistics #but it's worrying how little some people want to think about things like money mental health physical etc before having kids

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mildmayfoxe · 2 months

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do you guys think i should make a faire (etsy for wholesale)……. wholesaling was on my goal list for the year but in a “email local businesses” way not a “put my stuff on a marketplace” way, especially since faire takes a 15% commission & has other fees…. i don’t have the kind of inventory to list a ton of stuff on there but i could start with a few things and see how it goes…. i can stop doing it if i decide it’s not worth it… it would be easier than sending a lot of emails or making a wholesale packet….

#if it goes well i can just start ordering more stock from the jump when i get new things #i don’t think i’m going to put any prints on there bc my runs are too small & i struggle doing reprints as is #sorry to people waiting on reprints i will get around to it i promise. but if i list my prints on faire then i feel like ill never have them #for my store. lol #it also might help me get rid of some stuff that doesn’t do so well for me like those stupid pencils..#i’ve been thinking about it the past couple days bc i just had a conversation w my boss about ordering stickers & she was shocked how little #i order. which makes sense for my business rn but she was telling me i should wholesale #so it’s been on my mind. idk maybe i’ll make an account and list a few things today & see if anybody bites #chatpost #i already know how the website works for the most part bc we use it at work #also should i order a new koozie do you think. it’s my usual summer merch although it’s late for that #people don’t buy them much anyway which is a shame bc i like them

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bluesidedown · 1 year

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hnnnnnnnnngggggggg

#everything is Hard today ugh #i am anxious because i need to respond to some emails and deal with some student loans stuff that i've been putting off #and i frankly don't want to do anything. at all.#and i really should go out and figure out how to take the bus and explore the city a bit more #but that's frankly exhausting levels of effort actuallyj #and if i could bribe myself with going to a nice little coffee shop somewhere and hanging out there for a while i could maybe #convince myself. but that's hard too!#because i would have to do the thing where i look like an idiot when i order because idk quite how it works here and i don't speak enough #of the language to actually do that #and then idk what the acceptable kinds of coffee shop activities are. like am i gonna be super weird if i bring my laptop or a book #and hang out for a couple hours alone? idk. and also will they have wifi at the coffee shop? also do not know #and i should just bite the bullet and ask someone about it but that feels hard too because asking people things is hard. and honestly #i should just schedule in a good little cry but i don't wanna. ugh.

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nomairuins · 2 months

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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing #but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day #while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes #and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her #but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work #and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to #but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat #what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me #and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even #b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it #i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified #theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying #but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly #idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me #me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in #that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i #saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage #for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god #idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week #and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice #i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel #hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in #touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment #a2t #i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it #graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol

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eifri · 1 year

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i wonder where all these notifications are coming f-

#ooc.#tbd //#logs off of my multi after complaining about bots only to see this bs #ok. im normal #anyway repeating the sentiment here i'm off meds and very stressed/sensitive but i should be getting my puppy in under a week on my birthda #sdfsf might also start replaying xvi on new game plus today #im just trying to finish doing everything i can do for my apartment first #and finish ordering all the things i need :whyy:#i tried drilling a hole with a screwdriver and it's so bad i ordered hole filler #that is how my life is goingr n JKFHD #returning a drill i bought secondhand because it isn't working and ordered a new one #but im going to ask if the people assembling the last couple of my furniture things on the 5th can put the anti tip things in my wall #when they are here anyway #i'll need to tidy some more stuff up but just trying to chill and finish ordering stuff for now #i will hopefully be able to write again soon #i keep choking up whenever i think about xvi still

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tophats-tea · 8 months

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drawing fanart every day for Danganronpa: A New Generation until the First Episode comes out

Day 10: eepy..

Check out the fangan!

#danganronpa a new generation #DRNG #nishimura okura #dailydrng #rolling girl animation!!#not lore OR death order based but just from the order of the logs #if I even get that far #I technically drew this yesterday but I fixed a part of the hair so I guess it counts #drew a couple more of the later frames today anyway #at this point I’ll just add her gloves on after I finish the loop

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roetrolls · 10 months

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Hmmm what if i were to [EXPLODES EXPLODES EXPLODES]

#suddenly i am Antsy #i need Something. but i dont know What.#maybe i answer a couple asks or smth before bed.......... maybe #i got some sitting in there #and a lot that have been gathering dust #sigh. actually. i think the weight of today just hit me #having a lot of mixed feelings #uhh just so i dont say some cryptic shit n leave u all wondering:#i saw my neurologist about the MG treatment #she ordered another 6 months of infusions and prescribed a steroid #so i'm in for some pretty intense shit #and i have to deal with this wreaking havoc on my body while trying to finish my senior film #i asked if itd be possible to hold off until graduation and she said the longer we wait #the more likely it is that the damage done to my muscles becomes irreversible #so all of that is like. woof. that's uhh. heavy #but at the same time it's like #it's treatment!#the fight's not over!#she's confident they will get my voice back and i believe her #and im miles above where i was #so even if i didnt improve anymore id be happy #but man. this shit is hard dude #im so tired

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foundationsofdecay · 11 months

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guy wants to go thru paypal and not discogs for the transaction which is understandable given the percentage that discogs takes as a fee (10% plus another ~10 euros flat fee) which adds up faaaast given what i'm doing but i'm just. ough

#he can't ship anything for another few weeks so i don't think i can realistically just do one order w a couple things #and wait till those get here to do another one w the bigger stuff #but even tho paypal does have buyer protections i'm still like AHHHH nervous #i'll talk with him more about it today and then decide what i'm doing

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sassmill · 2 years

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The absolute thrill of listening to a musical in the language you’re learning and gradually with each listen you understand more of it and it stops sounding like gibberish