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the-oracle-of-the-lost · 3 months ago

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I watched every Star Trek episode & here are my opinions.

as the title says – i finished all the Star Trek shows as of today yesterday and since i watched most of them while i wasn't using tumblr, i want do do some mini-reviews – both what i think are objectively the best shows and which are my personal favorites. i might make a couple more "ranking" posts for theme song/pilot/finale/favorite epsiodes/etc eventually but this post is already long as hell. i'll also probably do a movie post sometime but i want to rewatch the AOS movies first since i haven't seen Into Darkness since it came out (before i was actively a Trekkie).

also just as a note, these are fully my own opinions & tastes. i'm not trying to argue that any of these shows are bad (nor are any flawless), i'm just Some Guy giving my opinions.

continued under the cut. apologies for how long this is but there sure is a lot of Star Trek.

Watch Order

my opinions are probably a bit influenced by the order that i first watched these shows in so just as some background – i watched sporadic episodes of TOS & TNG when i was a kid which was enough to be familiar with the characters, general vibes, & world but not enough to really get into it. in late 2020/early 2021 i watched DS9 per a friend's recommendation and really loved it and decided to give all the different shows a shot. i watched all of TNG summer 2021, watched some of Disco & (what was then all of) Lower Decks in fall 2021. i started Voyager spring 2022, was interrupted because of Life Stuff and finished it spring 2023. i watched the first season of snw & prodigy sometime in between then. watched Picard spring 2023 just before s3 aired. watched Enterprise summer/fall 2023. finished Disco spring 2024 (just before s5). did a slow march through TOS between summer 2023 and summer 2024. and finally i watched TAS this past month. and i've been keeping up with all recent releases since 2023.

i've also rewatched a large amount of Trek either with my mom or friends at various times so i've ended up seeing most episodes twice (or more in the case of DS9 & Voyager).

Somewhat Objective Ranking:

there's a large difference for me between shows that i think are objectively good & ones that i'm personally attached to so here's just my attempt at ranking Star Trek shows by how good i think they are from a critical lens, not necessarily my favorite.

for me – a good show, and specifically a good Star Trek show, should have in my opinion a) a diverse & strong cast of characters, b) have unique & compelling plots whether they're based in science fiction, politics, or philosophy, c) has a strong moral center & explores the nature of humanity in some way, d) allows the audience to believe in a better future, e) is consistent (both with continuity and episode quality), f) does something to differentiate it from other shows, and g) is actually entertaining.

i don't think any shows come close to fulfilling all of those qualities but some do better than others.

11. The Animated Series: probably not a surprise that it comes in last. it's a fun show by the standard of kid's cartoon in the 70s and i genuinely do like it but it has a lot of the flaws of TOS (lack of continuity, lack of character depth, flimsy plots) with few of the upsides. though i do like how the secondary characters get more of a focus than in TOS.

10. Enterprise: big jump up in quality here from TAS but Enterprise does fall flat compared to the other shows. the Vulcan & Andorian stories are almost always good but so much of s1 & s2 lacks creativity and a lot of the a plots end up feeling generic & reused (though the b plots are often great). s3 falls into an obvious & uncomfortable 9/11/war on terror metaphor that has not aged well. and s4 is a huge improvement but doesn't make up for the faults of earlier seasons. additionally, i think returning to "the Trio + secondary characters" was largely a mistake as characters like Hoshi & Travis remain horribly underdeveloped (and what a coincidence that they're characters of color...) all in all. some great ideas and a handful of great episodes but it doesn't make up for how meh large swathes of the show can be.

9. The Original Series: i'm going to be honest that it this is the hardest show to objectively rank just because it's the first and it's so hugely impactful not just on the Star Trek franchise (obviously) but also on science fiction, pop culture, TV production, and American culture. its impact is quite literally immeasurable and i think unfortunately it means the show will always feel small in comparison to the shadow it casts. don't get me wrong. some episodes are great even by today's standard, not to mention by the standard of the 60s. but so many episodes, especially as the show went on, end up being pretty mediocre, poorly paced, misogynistic/racist, and have thin plots. TOS is enjoyable for me because of the camp & exploring the foundations of this fictional universe i love so dearly but i'm not going to pretend that it's objectively better than other shows on this list just because of its legacy.

8. Picard: now i could pretty easily judge each season of Picard as its own show and each season would get spaced out in entirely different places on this list. i genuinely believe s1 of Picard is one of the best seasons of Star Trek. the writing fumbles a bit at the end but the characters, direction, & acting is some of the best of the franchise. unfortunately the choice to present each season as a separate anthology reallllly let's it down because of the lack of continuity between seasons. the pandemic definitely threw a wrench into the show but s2 (while i enjoy it), has a very messy meandering plot that feels insecure in its skin. s3 (which i also enjoy) has tighter writing but suffers majorly from having been outlined before the end of s2 therefore having a weird discontinuous transition between seasons and unfortunately excluding so many great characters from s1 & 2. i love it dearly (not to foreshadow my personal favorite ranking) but it is a mess.

7. Discovery: most of the critiques i have of Picard also stand for Discovery which also opted for the "anthology" style series which i think fundamentally doesn't work. Discovery took awhile to find its voice and after s3, still sung somewhat off key. Michael is easily one of the best & most well developed Star Trek characters and the rest of the cast is good but are painfully underdeveloped as its hyperserialized format doesn't really leave time to get to know the characters unless it's essential for the plot. like Picard, it also got screwed over by pandemic-era production leaving some episodes clumsily written. some seasons, in my opinion, end up with an overcomplicated plot that becomes difficult to follow. nevertheless, there are some episodes and scenes that are stunning and somewhat make up for the mis-steps. and ultimately, the later seasons of the show really do understand the heart of Star Trek.

6. Strange New Worlds: going back to an episodic style for the next live action show after the mixed reviews of Picard & Discovery was definitely a good choice. the writing is much tighter, the characters generally feel more whole, and there's more to grab onto compared to entirely serialized shows. and after a lot of the darkness in Discovery and Picard, it feels like a breath of fresh air to have a show that feels joyful & fun. however. so much of SNW is built off of pre-existing Star Trek (mainly TOS) that it struggles to form its own identity and when it tries to be a new show, it gets caught in the trap of betraying existing continuity. the episodes focusing on La'an, Uhura, M'Benga, & Una are great – some of the best of new trek – but episodes focusing on Spock, Chapel, and Pike end up feeling... off with messy writing and being Kinda Weird about disability/genetics. since it's only had two seasons, i definitely think SNW could ascend or descend in the rankings in the upcoming season(s).

5. The Next Generation: TNG wasn't quite as hard for me to rank as TOS but it sometimes struggles with a similar problem that its legacy in pop culture sometimes overshadows the show itself. it's also tricky because when TNG is good, it's phenomenal; when it's bad, it's really bad; but most episodes land somewhere in the middle. s1 is borderline unwatchable, s2 is just a step above, and from there it gets a lot stronger after behind the scene problems were worked out & it found a stable writing staff. it ends up striking a good balance of stories between straightforward science mysteries, deep explorations of philosophy, space politics, and fun romps. it ends up getting dragged down more than a little by Roddenberry's lingering insistence to have the characters avoid long term conflict and the very episodic style resulting in less ongoing story arcs. characters like Geordi, Wes, Beverly, & Troi also end up feeling somewhat underdeveloped in comparison to characters like Picard & Data.

4. Voyager: this is probably one of my more controversial picks (judging by how others tend to rank the series) and maybe i'm biased but i do genuinely believe that Voyager deserves its place this high on the list. Voyager is an inconsistent show which certainly pulls it down a little but manages to strike a better balance in episode quality and is able to have more dynamic characters & more ongoing narratives than TNG. Voyager still has its share of bad episodes and gets off to a somewhat shaky start (particularly struggling in early s2) but finds its groove more easily because of the experienced writing team that already had years of Star Trek under their belt & an excellent cast. Voyager's biggest stumbles are definitely in regards to under-serving some of the characters (especially Chakotay, Tuvok, and Harry) in later seasons.

3. Deep Space Nine: a somewhat obvious pick for top three Trek shows. DS9 has deservedly been getting its praises in recent years for its darker narratives, its bold approach to some of TV's first serialized stories, its exploration of politics & religion, and the masterful way it can bounce between nuanced episodes on serious topics & fun comedy. it flails a little bit in the first two seasons while finding its voice but compared to some of the other shows, it starts off strong and the quality is generally consistent with seasons 4 & 6 being the obvious highlight. however despite the strength of the characters, actors, and writing, there are certainly times when the show fumbles: episodes that get a bit too dark to bounce back from (and aren't followed up on), stories that present some troubling ethics without much pushback, and its fair share of the mediocre scifi mystery episodes seeded throughout 90s Trek.

2. Lower Decks: based on its first season, Lower Decks is a fun but non-serious entry into the Trek pantheon. so it was surprising when what seemed at first glance like a typical irreverent adult animation show, developed so much genuine heart for both the the Lower Decks characters & the wider Trek franchise. Lower Decks could have been an excuse to string together a bunch of fan-servicey references but it becomes genuinely heartfelt with great new characters, fun worldbuilding, actual insightful commentary on existing Trek, and the ability to laugh at itself while still being made with love. while the first two seasons drag it down a little bit (i think they went in too hard with the raunchy comedy vibes), season 3 and especially season 4 are really great especially with the exploration of Mariner's PTSD that strengthens her into one of the best character in Trek.

1. Prodigy: plenty of people have been singing Prodigy's praises since its untimely cancellation and no joke – it is, in my opinion, the best Star Trek show. it is more of a kids oriented show than the other entries on this list (except TAS) but that doesn't mean it lets up on having complex plots & characters. it might be the only Star Trek show that i genuinely believe doesn't have a bad episode (albeit a couple in s1 that are just okay) and s2 as whole is a masterpiece. the only things that let it down in my opinion are: somewhat clunky animation on close-ups (though the background animation is gorgeous) and the plot getting so over complicated by s2 that i had to draw a diagram to keep track of the time travel (and this is coming from someone who loves over complicated time travel stories.)

My Personal Favorite Star Trek Shows:

11. The Animated Series: as i said before – it's fun, i'm glad it exists, it doesn't really offend me, but with the exception of the episode Yesteryear, it doesn't really do anything for me.

10. The Original Series: yeah... i'm sorry. i just don't click with TOS that much (or TOS era in general as you can tell from the rest of this list). i can recognize its importance and there are definitely some episodes i really enjoyed (either for the camp factor or because they're genuinely good) but the majority of the episodes i either don't have much of an opinion on or i think are genuinely bad (in a not fun way). i'm also fine with looking past some of the bigotries of the time but even so the misogyny & racism in the show was just too much for me. sorry.

9. Strange New Worlds: i enjoy SNW for the most part but it's definitely dragged down because 1) i strongly dislike how Spock is written, 2) while i definitely like episodic Trek more, the short episode order does make the episodes i dislike stand out a lot more, 3) a lot of the show is built on nostalgia-bait for TOS era which... i just don't really have. there are great episodes but as a whole, i'm just not attached to it.

8. Discovery: i really disliked the first two seasons of Discovery when i first watched them and though they've grown on me, it's just too dark for me to really get into. seasons 3-5 i like a lot more and i appreciate how earnest & hopeful it is (especially compared to seasons 1 & 2) but the writing can be a bit heavy handed. and as much as i do really love Michael, i definitely prefer shows with a stronger focus on the ensemble as a whole. that said, i am definitely attached to the characters and really love the 32nd century worldbuilding that's done.

7. Enterprise: i'm honestly a bit surprised that i ended up liking Enterprise this much but the fourth season (with the exception of the finale that definitely doesn't exist) is banger after banger. and while the episodes of earlier seasons might be a bit uninspired, the general worldbuilding is genuinely interesting to me with the exploration of Vulcan politics, the Vulcan-Andorian War, the Temporal Cold War, the pre-Federation politics of Earth, and more. i'm also greatly endeared to all the secondary characters (Hoshi & Phlox particularly) which means it's also a shame that the non-Archer, Trip, & T'Pol characters get so little screentime. and while so much of the first two seasons is kinda bleh, the B plots & runners to those episodes end up being really fun and ends up creating a world & characters that feels worth exploring.

6. Prodigy: i think with time (and a possible third season...) Prodigy could become one of my favorite Treks and as i already said – it's very very good. the core cast of characters is really strong with all of them (except for maybe Murf & Jankom Pog) being well developed and compelling. the plot is interesting and feels relatively unique while still feeling like Star Trek at its core. it's also the rare example of a series that has a lot of fan-service while still retaining its identity and the strength of its own characters. ultimately, it ends up ranking lower on here than my more objective tier list because some of the angst & darkness i enjoy in stories doesn't quite deliver (which is very much not a fault of the show since it is a family show), the way Janeway is written doesn't always quite line up with my own view of the character (again, not a fault of the show), and the fact that i just haven't spent as much time with the show & characters yet.

5. The Next Generation: TNG is very much a comfort show to me. i don't have all that much to add from my objective review (there are very bad episodes, very good episodes, but most are somewhere in the middle). i really like all the characters and the behind the scenes friendships really translate well to the screen but none of them really compel me the way characters do further up on this list. i do give the show a lot of credit though for continuing the worldbuilding established in TOS and taking it in a new direction and a new vibes (rather than continuing the space western format) that is hugely influential to all of the shows that came after it.

4. Lower Decks: pretty much the same as my objective review – it's a fun show that ends up finding a good balance of humor, strong characters, and pointed commentary at past Trek shows. it's a show obviously filled with a lot of love for the franchise and i'm very glad it exists. aside from Mariner, i'm not quite as attached to the other characters but i do love them all.

3. Deep Space Nine: as i said before, DS9 is undoubtedly one of the strongest shows in Star Trek. it has the most recurring characters, pretty much all of which i find compelling, and a fantastic cast of regulars as well. the overall plot of the show is incredibly strong and allows it to have a lot of good commentary on imperialism, war, religion, race, and more. it has my two favorite episodes in all of Star Trek (The Visitor and Far Beyond the Stars) and so many other bangers as well. it's the show that first hooked me into Star Trek & the Star Trek fandom and it really is fantastic. the reason it doesn't rank higher here is entirely subjective in that i just don't feel as compelled to explore the characters & fandom as the last two shows on this list. other people have talked about how shows that are too objectively good aren't necessarily the best for fandom and that's how i kind of feel about DS9. it's great. i love it. i'm not necessarily compelled to feel like i have to add to it.

2. Picard: i can recognize that in many ways Picard kinda fails as a show (for reasons i've already stated) but that absolutely does not stop me from loving it. it's extremely messy and i've wanted to fix it ever since i saw it. it might be an unpopular opinion but the worldbuilding developments in s1 (the destruction of Romulus, the synth ban, the general darkness of the Federation) are incredibly compelling to me and i really do like deconstructing Picard as a character (even if i wish he was in the show a little less). and despite some major inconsistencies between seasons, i find the characters wonderfully rich and well written and every time i watch an episode, i feel like i want to explore them more and more. (not coincidentally, it's also the Star Trek show i've written the most fanfic for.)

1. Voyager: Voyager has enthralled me mind, body, & soul. i've never had such a fast turn around from a show that i was meh about to one that constantly consumed my thoughts. it's undoubtedly imperfect but it's imperfect in a way that i feel compelled to want to study and fix. with the exception of maybe DS9, Voyager has the strongest cast of characters and one of the strongest premises of any show. i firmly believe that Kathryn Janeway is the best (and certainly my favorite) Captain in all of Star Trek and most of the characters rank among my favorite Trek characters of all time. even if there aren't a ton of obvious ongoing narratives, the subtle ways the characters change over the 7 years is great and leaves the door open for fandom to explore so much (which as you can tell is definitely something that draws me to a lot of shows). and while DS9 might have my favorite episode of Star Trek, Voyager ends up having more stories that rank amongst my favorites (Year of Hell, Latent Image, Endgame, Barge of the Dead, Bride of Chaotica, Riddles, Survival Instinct, Timeless, etc).

anyways.... that sums that up. i'll probably type up my list of favorite episodes sometime in the next few days because i need to milk the "i watched all of Star Trek" thing for a little bit.

#i wrote most of this while having a migraine so sorry if there are typos or anything #i think if i posted this review on any other website i might actually be hunted down for sport #my posts #my reviews

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ratwife77 · 6 months ago

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video game concepts/headcanons

very long post

if i continue w/ this, each character will get a link to start the "game" which would be a choose your own adventure

but it'd take forever because I'd have to script interactions and junk plus potentially making a soc version, then maybe collaborate with someone to get the Shepard stuff done (I know nothing about them and don't want to butcher their characters)

Recommended that you grab a piece of paper to calculate money, happiness, relationship points, etc. You may also get a spinner for chance if you’d rather not select (some decisions will be labeled, some will be numbered so it’s just chance either way) Recommended for free play (fighting): Dally. Recommended for free play (quests and playtime): Darry- warning, very difficult. Not recommended: Steve (due to his lack of ‘screen time’, I have less of a grasp on his character and could not be as in depth and remain faithful to his character) First of all, choose your path: Greaser edition

Benefits: you have tuff hair

Choose a greaser:

Dallas

Benefits: he has fought a lot, and you may use the ability to see an opponent’s weakness(es) if you are calm enough (number of times this is able to be done is based on difficulty). He may be able to bluff his way out of a fight (can be done with or without gone, more or less likely with gun depending on the opponent)- impossible on hard difficulty. Drawbacks: has many enemies, you will be attacked OFTEN. Rare chance for you to be taken to detention center for someone else’s crime because of your record. You have a meter that shows your level of anger (occasionally glitches to see sadness/other emotions bar underneath), that can be used for upgrades (not purchased by cash) or if it gets too high you die (like the end of the actual book..) Extra: you have many interactions with Tim, can be turned into fights if you wish.

Side quests/minigames:

Avoid Tim

Go see Tim

Bartend

Poker

Pool

Keep an eye on Johnny and Pony

Steal (can be successful or unsuccessful)

Lie game w/ fuzz (or truth and getting out of crime you didn’t do)- related to memory games, logical (you must state an alibi based on all the things you’ve done)

Darry

Benefits: he has the largest default number for attack points, and most enemies leave him alone due to his reputation and large stature. Drawbacks: you have life or death quests like Steve, but you have to do them for 3 people. You also have a vinaigrette effect on your screen that may consume it. This is due to you being overworked, and the only way to make it go away is to skip a day of work. (this will lose you 10 dollars.. dangerous). Another thing with this effect- when fighting enemies, you may miss a turn because you are too tired to go fast enough. (if an enemy sees you tired without you hiding, they will attack on sight) Also, if Soda or Pony catches you without you using the function to hide your exhaustion, you will be forced to skip work or argue. (if you lose enough relationship w/ them, PB will run away, and Soda will be sad and not talk to you.)

Side Quests/minigames:

Mostly explained tbh

The disguise/hide function

Work

Check Pony’s homework

Bake chocolate cake

Budgeting (will effect a lot of gameplay)

Grocery shopping (must have needs met, and if you meet wants, happiness boost for PB and Soda)

Cleaning for social worker

Keeping from crying until you are in your room (if you lose, there is a false game over screen that you must click through. Then, you will see a screen where you and your brothers are hugging)

Soda

Benefits: charm/charisma function (+10 friendship/relationship points on any interaction). On normal mode, Steve has a 30% chance to spawn during fights and help you. Drawbacks: you have a ton of side quests related to comforting others, and during these, you must multitask and push down your own feelings (a button will be dedicated to this). You also have to play meditator, in which you essentially help both sides play tug of war, evening things out and making each side see the other one. If you fail, Pony runs away and you don’t have a game over, but the world becomes duller (actually, the colors change for real) and during every interaction you must push your feelings down. If you are caught, you have to talk your way out of it. (only allows wins, required for story.. forced lose when PB gets back)

Extra: smile function (just for funsies)

Side quests/minigames:

Meditator (tug of war w/ logic and emotion)

Push feelings down

Write letter to Sandy

Make Darry laugh

Work

Clean the house

Bake cake

Dye food

Two-Bit

Benefits: you can say something funny/off the wall enough to distract opponents and escape (only works sometimes). You also are more likely to not be caught in the steal minigame than anyone else. Drawbacks: if you go into a store, you are forced to play the steal minigame which can cause a game over if lost (unless Dallas takes the blame, rare chance- playing off of a book event where Two-Bit smashed windows and he took the blame). If Dallas does take the blame and goes to jail, if the event is set off where PB and Johnny run away, you have to help them instead (you are closest to PB other than Soda and Johnny). Along with this, you are drunk often, so you may be taken by surprise more in fights. Due to your drunkenness, you also can’t work and have to borrow money for upgrades by doing tasks for other greasers. (upgrades that are beyond food, Two-Bit’s switchblade, and drink cannot be stolen).

Side quests/minigames:

Stealing (specifically the blade, but anything)

Randomized tasks from other greasers

Looking for PB and J

Johnny

Benefits: you are willing to kill to keep yourself and others safe, meaning you die the least in battles (I had to give him something, okay). You also have great survival skills and can live without help for however long is necessary. (he’s on his own a lot soooo). Drawbacks- people target you because you look weak and small. You have to play the minigame “watch” often.

Side quests/minigames:

Watch- you have to look at your surroundings closely, everytime you go anywhere.

Start a fire

Cigarette run

Steal (likely win, you are stealthy)

Listen/comfort (PB)

School

Ponyboy

Benefits: call (able to call a nearby greaser once every three to five fights, depending on difficulty you selected). Intelligence (if you read, you may gain knowledge that can help you anywhere in the game). Drawbacks: you are small, so you must complete extra minigames to win with strategy or use call. You have your head in the clouds, so you may get surprise attacks more often, and you have the chance to receive timed tasks late and suffer the consequences if they are not done on time. You also can escalate fights because of your sass, which can trigger you running away w/ Johnny (basically what happened to Bob in the book will happen). Extra: you get more interactions with Johnny, Two-Bit, and Sodapop, but less with Steve and Darry. Based on the choices you make, Dallas interactions vary. Curly is optional, but you can interact with him more than any other character can.

Sidequests/minigames

Cigarette run

Get stuff for chocolate cake

Go to the library

Do something stupid with Curly

Avoid Darry

Do homework

Keep worry at bay

Homework

Avoid socs (forced loss)

Make cake!

Track (possible forced loss because of smoking)

Strategy minigames

Reading

Steve

Benefits: you have the most money (due to being kicked out and paid) and can purchase upgrades easier. Soda has a 30% chance (on normal mode) to show up during battles. Drawbacks: you get kicked out sometimes and have extra quests that are life or death (depending on how long you play, you may gain a tolerance and be less affected by needs, depending on your selected difficulty). You have to do extra quests to keep your anger down, or you may be hurt by reckless fighting or hurt your friends

Sidequests/minigames:

Survive the night (2 modes of completion)

Go to work/school

Drag Races

Evie

Pay attention! (School)

Break up/stay together (Evie and Steve fight)

Try not to lose your shit (any character around him, may lose or may not)

Poker

Mess with Pony

Upgrades

You can buy cigarettes, which will boost happiness 20% per time used (5 uses)- 3$(only bought twice)

You can buy a soda, thirst decreases 50%- 1.50$ (bought 5 times)

Chips are the same but for hunger

Paper (specific to PB)- 1$, infinite times (used to write story, you have to buy these as you complete story mode)

Gone With The Wind- 5$ (one time buy) required for Story Mode, but can be used for extra interactions with Johnny/PB in free play

Cake ingredients (unspecified)- 3$, once cooked, increase happiness by 50% and hunger decreases 10%

Two-Bit’s switchblade (for Two-Bit in freeplay. If you actually pay for it and don’t steal it, you will get a funny message regarding the strange occurrence)

Upgrades (emotion meter, some available to all characters, some not)

+10 strength- 50 points (available to everyone except PB and Johnny- I want you to feel their size/build and difference from other greasers)

+5 strength- 40 points (for PB and Johnny)

+extra life (90 points, risky to get this high- only for Darry, Dallas, and Steve)

+10 hp/ grit- 45 points (+20 for Johnny, same price)

+get another character’s special ability- 90 points (everyone)

+get another character’s special ability and one of their drawbacks (you can’t choose which drawback)- 70 points (everyone)

Relationship meter

You may create romantic relationships, but only approved ones (I’m sorry but this fandom has ethically questionable relationships and I’d rather not)

Or friendships

Any romantic builders will be labeled with hearts to minimize confusion. You may turn romance off.

#ponyboy curtis #johnny cade #dallas winston #the outsiders #sodapop curtis #darry curtis #the outsiders headcanons #headcanons #two bit mathews #steve randle

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poicyss · 1 year ago

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Okay I definitely wanna hear ur Duck gushing. I liked her too, but I won't deny the one that was my fav was Rue lol

She's just so much! Aaahh!!!

I feel like Duck is very much a very basic anime protagonist on the surface - clumsy but kind, willing to do anything for her friends, a little confused but she has the spirit etc. However!! While she may be basic, she is in no way boring!

I feel like a lot of the times clumsiness is slapped onto main characters for humor and cute value. And while it does make her silly and cute, it also plays a big role in her character and her struggles. She feels like she doesn't ever really fit in, clumsily navigating and trying to balance the life of Duck the girl and Duck the bird and her role in the story as Princess Tutu.

She's called dumb all the time, but she's very wise! Especially if you're a fan of Rue, you can see how wise Duck is when giving advice and talking to her about her feelings and their relationship with Mytho, even if she has trouble getting her point across. Her intentions, even if her words were jumbled, were felt and changed Rue for the rest of the series. Duck is very Empathetic and a lot better at reading people than she gives herself credit for. She thinks she only has the ability to "save" people as Tutu, but I think a lot of her greatest contributions to saving the others were done as Duck.

She also is very brave. She's the one who first examines her role in the story and tries to search for a better ending. I mean obviously, she's the protagonist, but still! Fakir had been going through the same song and dance his whole life, wishing to change the story and stop it from finishing, but he doesn't go actively looking for a better alternative, instead just sort of stalling for time by keeping Tutu from collecting the heart shards.

I really like how Princess Tutu handles it's characters and their struggles AS characters. I feel like a lot of the time when you hear about characters being "doomed by the narrative" or whatever it's referring more to characters who are doomed by action and not role. And due to being the protagonist, of course, this difference is shown best through Duck. She happily accepts her role as Tutu at first, but then later considers that by becoming human she has been losing her identity as a duck, and how the role of Princess Tutu was sort of forced upon her. Is she just Princess Tutu, or is she more?

And she worries about being a tool used for helping people, but still continues to help people regardless. She's not perfect obviously, but her heart is ALWAYS in the right place, and she is incredibly sincere and strong and I think it's great that she is still able to be the same silly girl while having to struggle with stuff like her identity, purpose and destiny.

I feel like a lot of the time when people apply "angst" to genki characters like Duck it can feel insincere. A lot of people see silly characters, ESPECIALLY GIRLS, as lacking depth. Even protagonists! But Duck is just so emotionally rich. She's very cheery and always wants to do her best, of course, but she's not tied to just being a happy character. Actually, she's probably the only one of the main four who doesn't really wear a mask! She doesn't need to, since her emotions and connections fuel the story and it's characters in a way that isn't just "Don't give up ^^ Love your friends ^^ Girl power!!"

She's awkward and loving and brave and a lot deeper than people (including herself, with all that "I'm just a duck" talk) give her credit for. She reminds me a lot of myself, stumbling blindly through social situations to find a connection and someone who could handle all the big huge emotions I have without being deemed unnecessary.

...I'm gonna be honest, I don't even know if a lot of the above makes sense. I sorta just rambled in a random direction until I felt I made a point lol. And I still feel like I didn't manage to say everything! Ahh!! I love this anime so much!!!

#ask #long post #princess tutu #lol... sorry 🙏

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outsiders-chooseyourownadventure · 6 months ago

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video game concepts/headcanons

very long post (separate blog because I don't want to clog up my main)

if i continue w/ this, each character will get a link here to start the "game" which would be a choose your own adventure

Benefits: you have tuff hair

Choose a greaser:

Dallas

Side quests/minigames:

Avoid Tim

Go see Tim

Bartend

Poker

Pool

Keep an eye on Johnny and Pony

Steal (can be successful or unsuccessful)

Lie game w/ fuzz (or truth and getting out of crime you didn’t do)- related to memory games, logical (you must state an alibi based on all the things you’ve done)

Darry

Side Quests/minigames:

Mostly explained tbh

The disguise/hide function

Work

Check Pony’s homework

Bake chocolate cake

Budgeting (will effect a lot of gameplay)

Grocery shopping (must have needs met, and if you meet wants, happiness boost for PB and Soda)

Cleaning for social worker

Keeping from crying until you are in your room (if you lose, there is a false game over screen that you must click through. Then, you will see a screen where you and your brothers are hugging)

Soda

Extra: smile function (just for funsies)

Side quests/minigames:

Meditator (tug of war w/ logic and emotion)

Push feelings down

Write letter to Sandy

Make Darry laugh

Work

Clean the house

Bake cake

Dye food

Two-Bit

Side quests/minigames:

Stealing (specifically the blade, but anything)

Randomized tasks from other greasers

Looking for PB and J

Johnny

Side quests/minigames:

Watch- you have to look at your surroundings closely, everytime you go anywhere.

Start a fire

Cigarette run

Steal (likely win, you are stealthy)

Listen/comfort (PB)

School

Ponyboy

Sidequests/minigames

Cigarette run

Get stuff for chocolate cake

Go to the library

Do something stupid with Curly

Avoid Darry

Do homework

Keep worry at bay

Homework

Avoid socs (forced loss)

Make cake!

Track (possible forced loss because of smoking)

Strategy minigames

Reading

Steve

Sidequests/minigames:

Survive the night (2 modes of completion)

Go to work/school

Drag Races

Evie

Pay attention! (School)

Break up/stay together (Evie and Steve fight)

Try not to lose your shit (any character around him, may lose or may not)

Poker

Mess with Pony

Upgrades

You can buy cigarettes, which will boost happiness 20% per time used (5 uses)- 3$(only bought twice)

You can buy a soda, thirst decreases 50%- 1.50$ (bought 5 times)

Chips are the same but for hunger

Paper (specific to PB)- 1$, infinite times (used to write story, you have to buy these as you complete story mode)

Gone With The Wind- 5$ (one time buy) required for Story Mode, but can be used for extra interactions with Johnny/PB in free play

Cake ingredients (unspecified)- 3$, once cooked, increase happiness by 50% and hunger decreases 10%

Two-Bit’s switchblade (for Two-Bit in freeplay. If you actually pay for it and don’t steal it, you will get a funny message regarding the strange occurrence)

Upgrades (emotion meter, some available to all characters, some not)

+10 strength- 50 points (available to everyone except PB and Johnny- I want you to feel their size/build and difference from other greasers)

+5 strength- 40 points (for PB and Johnny)

+extra life (90 points, risky to get this high- only for Darry, Dallas, and Steve)

+10 hp/ grit- 45 points (+20 for Johnny, same price)

+get another character’s special ability- 90 points (everyone)

+get another character’s special ability and one of their drawbacks (you can’t choose which drawback)- 70 points (everyone)

Relationship meter

You may create romantic relationships, but only approved ones (I’m sorry but this fandom has ethically questionable relationships and I’d rather not)

Or friendships

Any romantic builders will be labeled with hearts to minimize confusion. You may turn romance off.

#the outsiders #choose your own adventure #big project #darry curtis #ponyboy curtis #dallas winston #two bit mathews #steve randle #johnny cade #sodapop curtis

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zephiris · 1 year ago

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All fancy smancy generative ai models know how to do is parrot what they’ve been exposed to.

A parrot can shout words that kind of make sense given context but a parrot doesn’t really understand the gravity of what it’s saying. All the parrot knows is that when it says something in response to certain phrases it usually gets rewarded with attention/food.

What a parrot says is sometimes kinda sorta correct/sometimes fits the conversation of humans around it eerily well but the parrot doesn’t always perfectly read the room and might curse around a child for instance if it usually curses around its adult owners without facing any punishment. Since the parrot doesn’t understand the complexities of how we don’t curse around young people due to societal norms, the parrot might mess that up/handle the situation of being around a child incorrectly.

Similarly AI lacks understanding of what it’s saying/creating. All it knows is that when it arranged pixels or words in a certain way after being given some input it usually gets rewarded/gets to survive and so continues to get the sequence of words/pixels following a prompt correct enough to imitate people convincingly (or that poorly performing version of itself gets replaced with another version of itself which is more convincing).

I argue that a key aspect of consciousness is understanding the gravity and context of what you are saying — having a reason that you’re saying or doing what you are doing more than “I get rewarded when I say/do this.” Yes AI can parrot an explanation of its thought process (eli5 prompting etc) but it’s just mimicking how people explain their thought process. It’s surface level remixing of human expression without understanding the deeper context of what it’s doing.

I do have some untested ideas as to why its understanding is only surface level but this is pure hypothesis on my part. In essence I believe humans are really good at extrapolating across scales of knowledge. We can understand some topics in great depth while understanding others similarly on a surface level and go anywhere in between those extremes. I hypothesize we are good at that because our brains have fractal structure to them that allows us to have different levels of understanding and look at some stuff at a very microscopic level while still considering the bigger picture and while fitting that microscopic knowledge into our larger zoomed out understanding.

I know that neural networks aren’t fractal (self-similar across various scales) and can’t be by design of how they learn/how data is passed through them. I hypothesize that makes them only understand the scale at which they were trained. For LLM’s/GAN’s of today that usually means a high level overview of a lot of various fields without really knowing the finer grain intricacies all that well (see how LLM’s make up believable sounding but completely fabricated quotes for long writing or how GAN’s mess up hands and text once you zoom in a little bit.

There is definitely more research I want to do into understanding AI and more generally how networks which approximate fractals relate to intellegence/other stuff like quantum physics, sociology, astrophysics, psychology, neuroscience, how math breaks sometimes etc.

That fractal stuff aside, this mental model of generative AI being glorified parrots has helped me understand how AI can seem correct on first glance/zoomed out yet completely fumble on the details. My hope is that this can help others understand AI’s limits better and therefore avoid putting too much trust into to where AI starts to have the opportunity to mess up serious stuff.

Think of the parrot cursing around children without understanding what it’s doing or why it’s wrong to say those words around that particular audience.

In conclusion, I want us to awkwardly and endearingly laugh at the AIs which mimic the squaks of humans rather than take what it says as gospel or as truth.

#generative ai #ai #consciousness #looooonnnggggg #programming #codeblr #philosophy #fractal #fractal theory of everything

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seagullcharmer · 11 months ago

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idk got embarrassed abt rambling. totk headcanon stuff (and spoilers!!!!!!!!) below

there's a lot of comments abt how link doesn't tell anyone anything that's going on in totk, but (and i know i may be reaching and/or delving into headcanon territory lol) but. rewatching some of the early game stuff, like the first tear / geoglyph and talking to impa about it. link has already seen and had a conversation with rauru, he knows who rauru is, sonia clearly identifies herself, so why does impa call them 'mysterious figures'? is link being purposefully vague and/or obtuse, or is it that few people can actually understand link? now, i know i am not alone in believing link to be predominantly nonverbal + to use sign language. but link is also from 100 years ago with wishy-washy memory. language changes over time, impa is an old woman, so maybe it's not so much 'link doesn't tell people things / keeps secrets' but 'this guy uses an older form of language that we don't fully understand / know how to interpret' impa may have forgotten the common signs used pre-calamity (and also there's just. very little internal consistency between botw + totk) or link had an easier time during botw and then with zelda he turned to using court formal sign language, which we would be all but forgotten in 100 years time when so much of castle town + the court figures fell. idk. again, reaching, stretching, burrowing into headcanons, but. whatever. throwing it out there

ok i put it under the cut so i'll just ramble willy-nilly good luck

so throwing out the headcanon that josha is hard of hearing and uses sign language. this is inspired primarily by the way she uses nicknames for the people around her-- robbie is 'goggles', link is 'swordsman', purah is 'director'. while i admit i am far from an expert on sign language, i understand that it is common to give people 'sign names' that are typically derived from distinct characteristics about them. robbie is never seen without his goggles, purah was a top sheikah scientist pre-calamity and is now the director of lookout landing (and associated with the research team, etc etc), link is known for his sword skills, so all of those make sense within the context i am describing. idk, just really like the idea of josha&link especially re: using sign language, even though with the idea above there could be some clashing if they use signs the other doesn't know.

but also josha being disabled would be another large factor in why robbie wouldn't let her explore the depths by herself. come on, this is hyrule-- hyrule has let children do far worse for far worse reasons. but, her being a youth and disabled would certainly be enough reason to not let her go alone. also, since it's extremely dark and only link can activate lightroots, it would have a further level of danger in that you straight up would not be able to see signs. lack of communication > heightened danger > potential death. no good for anyone involved

although speaking of, where did josha come from???? there are no sheikah of childbearing age in committed relationships that would make her possible. dorian's wife is dead, josha is older than koko and cottla, so he's out. cado and his wife are divorced, and neither are really in the market for children. also if she came from a kakariko villager they would've just said so i'm going to stop listing villagers. but we know yona is a zora from outside of hyrule, so who knows. entirely possible there were sheikah immigrants and josha travelled back to hyrule after the calamity once it was deemed safe enough (because, hey, it's hyrule, and having continued prophecies and legends of doom and gloom, plus the literal 100 year long calamity does not lead to thinking hyrule is a safe place. hence, safe enough.)

i think tears of the kingdom had a lot of potential. the opening was very fun and interesting!! travelling with zelda and learning lore to set up the story ahead, getting to see her as a person, her love for hyrule and passion for research, very fun indeed!!!! the music was SO GOOD i must admit! and then the tutorial island and the introduction of the new mechanics were gorgeous, they felt so fresh and i think we were all very eager to see what would happen in that first hour or so. landing back in hyrule kingdom, seeing how it has changed, learning about the existence of the depths-- the opening had so much going for it. and then....... there wasn't much else. exploring is so much fun. i love exploring, it's one of my favourite parts of playing games. i had a blast for the first 70 hours i played, because there was so much to see and do! but i know that's not for everybody. and i gotta say, the wind temple was a fantastic first dungeon. it had interesting set-up, clear stakes, a loveable growth to a previous minor character, the dungeon itself really felt more like classic zelda dungeons, the music and the boss fight were incredibly cinematic-- but it was the only one.

sure, it was eerie getting to gerudo town and seeing how empty it was, but then the lightning temple was just kind of a slog. i loved the re-introduction of the gibdos. the tower defence game to protect riju. but the lightning temple itself just..... it was a little lackluster. and don't get me started on [gestures at all of sidon + the water temple]. and i'll admit, i liked the fire temple, i liked the silliness of the dichotomy between all the other regions facing severe threats to their habitat and livelihood and then. ganondorf's like 'yeah i'll get the gorons addicted to gloomy rocks' which i know is. not great from the actual presentation of it (yes, it's a not subtle reference to drugs + drug addiction), but the way the gorons have been presented in the past (i. really don't like their mouths. too much like the racist art of black people 1940 and earlier), and yunobo's boss outfit was. again, gritting my teeth at the racism. but the fire temple had an interesting design, and it was cool to see the return of gohma!!!!

but at the same time, tears of the kingdom had a lot of times where it mostly seemed to be catering ineffectually to older fans. 'see? we remember uhhh dungeons! gohma! you love gohma. and gibdos! and ooh, look, like-likes! everyone wanted like-likes back, right?' although i'll admit i gasped at the return of the bomb flower, even though something has happened to the plant over the years, where it can no longer reproduce nigh instantaneously. truly, the people of hyrule have fallen down on the job in protecting their agricultural heritage. (although, seeing tomatoes made me very happy. i can once again eat tomatoes by living vicariously through link). (and, thinking on it now, it could have been really interesting to bring back the various -baba enemies. especially in faron. but i'm getting away from myself)

and i was delighted by the change to link's cooking animation! i rarely skip it because i love hearing him hum snatches of classic zelda tunes.

but.... i know everyone and their dog has complained abt tears of the kingdom. its story really fell down on the job. the gameplay was fun, but the story wasn't compelling. finding the tears out of order could put a huge damper on continuing to play. it's an open-world game, you need to leave wiggle room for the story! sure, non-linearity can be great! but part of what made loz games before botw so fun and compelling was having the clear directions on where to go. you couldn't really spoil things for yourself, because it just wasn't an option. botw did a good job juggling the various places and plotlines, but totk.... didn't. all of the temple cutscenes were exactly the same, and give us zero reason to have an emotional connection to the prior sages. they don't even have names!!!!!! i know other people have said it much better than i can about how botw helps you like the champions, and mourn that they're gone. and totk barely even gives you reasons to care about your friends the current sages. everyone loved sidon, and yona is a lovely character, but they kinda shoe-horned it in and then bungled zora characterisation, imo. zora's domain is gorgeous and elaborate, and then we're expected to believe sidon and yona got married as soon as sidon comes back from the water temple and yeehaw he's crowned king ???? where is the elegance?? the ceremony???? these people are long-lived and cherish tradition. and yona's been visiting for a week after who knows how many years apart, and they get married just like that. despite them having clear relationship trouble. of course they love each other and share a commitment to each other, but sidon wasn't treating her as a partner, and she was right to call him on it! so even if they're gonna live a few more centuries, that doesn't mean they need to jump right into marriage immediately!!! also, while i like yona, they didn't give us much reason to care about her. if anything, so many fans hate her for simply existing as sidon's never-before-mentioned fiancee. and i understand that, i do. she could be likeable! if we were, just, you know, given any opportunity to get to know her. honestly, i would've liked the water temple more if yona had been the sage. sidon was unimpressive in all aspects. how the hell had he never discovered this ability. (i know, back to totk's lack of internal continuity) so introducing yona and allowing her to be the sage-- that could've been very interesting, honestly. given her a way to show sidon he can trust her, and that while of course he will worry, he can rest assured she is capable and can take care of herself, and show herself to be an asset to hyrule's zora's domain.

that was wayyyy too long to be a paragraph, but i'm not editing. i like yona. block me or don't.

idk y'all. i like totk, i don't regret buying it, but it was very weak for a zelda game. albw was better, and it has a lot of issues that i will leave for another post (although y'all can pry that game from my cold hands. it's good!!!!!!! yes it's misogynistic and the non-linear dungeons is frustrating but! it's still a good game and has mechanics that are actually plot-relevant and limits the number of new characters, so you can get to know them and care about them!!!!!!! sorry totk!!!!!!)

um. i got tired. i forgot what i wanted to say. if you read this, wow. blowing you kisses, shaking your hand, saluting, whatever. thanks.

#libra.txt #it's literally 1.8k words of unconnected and incoherent stream of consciousness writing #tears of the kingdom spoilers be warned #totk spoilers #um. idk. i think i typed for an hour. whoops

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spikeinthepunch · 2 years ago

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i didnt play botw when it came out bc im just not a zelda person, it did pique my interest w it being open world n all, but i still just found it too like. well i think my lack of interest in loz made it hard for me to attach mostly. like i didnt rly care about the characters right off the bat, and i do feel like loz goes a lot less hard on character development due to its openness w story and character for link.

ok well anyways i didnt play it, and i kinda feel the pull for totk too but. idk if its worth me buying lol. it looks cool again! and i guess seeing that the story is moving forward has me more intrigued. loz games are always like.... very one-off? and its why i never played them really. but botw creating an actual series w continuity is nice to see ig. i dont expect a more in depth character driven experience still liek what i want and get from other games cuz thats not what it is-- but yeah i guess i kinda wanna play it knowing theres now a series w continuity directly. plus from what i have seen, the locations and visuals look really great compared to the previous, more stuff, looks a bit more alive, etc.

but at the same time i just really cant decide if ill be able to take the time to play it lol...

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ghostflowerhotpotch · 1 year ago

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I know this is in agreement with my post, but honestly seen this made me think on the other stuff I posted earlier that isn't mentioned.

Because yes, Miguel having control on those three things is indeed a problem; but I feel this wouldn't be that big of an issue if the circumstances were different. This organization could work, even with Miguel being the one with the watches, if it wasn't run in such a sketchy way that is.

But it never dawned on me to summarize everything wrong with the society in a way that would be easier for other people to read, so thank you for bringing that up.

In summary:

There are levels of information; how much a spider person knows (the canon events, which canon events, so for) appears to be kept a secret until you are prove trustworthy or circumstances force you tell this information. Not telling you the terms of contract before signing is part of cultish behaviour (though on its own is just sketchy.)

Asking people in vulnerable positions to join the force; knowing very well that this person now has to obey your commands or risk homeless/insecurity/etc. This also includes the possibility of people relying on the Spider Society for food, mental health resources, perhaps medical care- as long as you obey and do what Miguel says.

Having a central dogma that is the focus of the operation, to the point keeping said dogma takes more focus over looking for real solutions.

Said dogma also enables a cycle of suffering, ensuring that the tragedies that happen before continue happening to others as a way to justify the existence of said hardships.

Obvious, but still important: the Dogma also comes at the cost of the mental health and well-being of the members; needing to do things that would surely impact their mental health (like letting people die,) getting in dangerous situation where the focus is more protect said dogma, etc.

Unable to question authority, to the point that may be grounds for expulsion. This also means a lack of free will in other areas.

The existence of inner circles, with people who may not face consequences or less of a reprimand by being buddy-buddy with someone or directly the higher up.

EXTREME levels of surveillance, which they may or may not know about. (Because I wouldn't discard that people aren't aware the boss may just watch when they are off duty.)

The organization prioritizes the Spider-man persona over the individual; rationalize this duty should be more important than any other responsibilities you may have. This has the added effect of isolating people to anyone who isn't a spider-person, and since is difficult if not impossible to met other spider-people (unless they are in your universe) otherwise, this creates a us vs them mentality. Because the people in your world don't get you, you can't even tell your secret, but you are safe with us, the people who understand and know what you are living.

A leader with anger issues, prone to over react, and seems that the angrier he gets the less he listens; which is already a problem with someone who is quick to anger.

I believe I caught everything? A few things I feel can be part of previous points and this was suppose to be a SUMMARY.

Part 1 or 2 should involve all of those points with the longer, in-depth explanation, but for anyone who wants a recap, this is it.

Spiderman Society and Manipulation Part 2

Horrible Copy Mechanism and the Responsibilities you put in your own shoulders

Part 1

Oh boy this is going to be interesting for sure.

While I was writing the first part I originally wasn't thinking of writing this section at the beginning, I thought considering the situation it was better to focus in how the lower rankings and people in need are put between a rock and a hard place, and in the cultish characteristics it has.

But then I realized is not just that is a horrible copy mechanism that they are more or less using as a crutch, it also involves why Miguel is convinced over this, and also the responsibility that still comes with it.

WARNING: The following chat will have talks about trauma, recovery, and accountability. It will also include mentions of real religious manipulation and cultish behaviours.

If you think any of this could be triggering, please consider skipping this one.

But before we address the sad reality that is enforcing canon by the eldest/higher up members of this society, let me address something that I didn't mention last time.

Part of the reason all of this is bad is because Canon is fake, this theory falls apart by the seams, and this makes the society more like a cult exactly for this reason!

Here is the long version of why I say this so firmly.

But because I don't want to sent people to do homework, here is the cliff notes version:

Canon Event ASM-90 cannot be happening at this moment, because Spot IS an anomaly. Also, Miguel said himself that canon event ASM-90 is when a captain dies in a battle between the spider-person and a nemesis, but Spot isn't Pavitr's nemesis, and Miguel himself said that Spot shouldn't had happened and is another anomaly like Miles, so why Captain Singh should had died at that moment?

The black matter that supposedly is happening because Miles broke canon? Was happening BEFORE we saw the captain. The alchemax building is breaking down, and has a dark matter absorbing it, which gets bigger and bigger as we see our heroes descend, and then in the same spot the building felt, now there is a black hole! Coincidence? Doubtful.

Miles's universe didn't fell because he became a spider-man, even if by being an "anomaly" you should expect to cause some sort of reaction, right? Further more, he blames Miles and Co for the hole in the multi-verse, but this is ignoring the fact the spot not only was the one to transport the spider, he has MULTIPLE of them. But Miles's universe has no reaction to any of this somehow? And the only issues it had was because of the collider messing up?

Look dear reader, I feel the fact that Pavitr's example doesn't fit the bill by Miguel's own words, and Miles's case in ITSV has jackshit to do with being anomaly; is safe to say this isn't about canon. Is about what is happening.

Because Miguel, Peter, Jess and the rest are so blinded by this idea of canon on Spider-man, they can't notice an incongruity as they are explaining it to you.

You guys know what this means? This means that instead of learning what is actually going on with Pavitr's universe (probably more related to physics than spider-man in itself.) They are wasting time and resources in preserving a mythos that so far feels more like trying to fit a pattern and mix destiny with physics somehow.

So the question is...how come is that they don't see it? Why they believe in this well?

WELL-

Here is the interesting part about the "Canon is part of every spider-man story,." While is a horrible thing to say to people just starting that need to deal with the fact that they will lose love ones and suffer great hardships because of their work, for those who are over? Oh this is great news.

(I swear while looking at this I had a flashback of "G-d's time is perfect" and "Everything happens for a reason," after having a personal hardship. Goddammit this really falls in the steps to a cult way too much.)

Okay but seriously, I saw a lot of people over the past few months complain about how the other spiders could let this happen, and this is so horrible how come Miles is being the only real spider-man here-

Is trauma, is all back to trauma.

Because okay, we don't know until which point the canon theory goes; I would say most spider-people are bit when they are teens or young adults (tho there are universes where Aunt May or Uncle Ben got bitten- yes as senior adults.) So I wouldn't be surprised if the "canon" events Miguel has mapped out has already happened to Peter, Jess and him, considering that at least Peter? Has been doing this for almost a quarter of a century; the others can't be too far apart for what I gather.

So while for someone like Gwen, Miles or Pavitr means "oh this is the list of horrible things you are going to suffer, sorry kid." For people like Peter, Miguel and Jess? Is probably more of a "oh those tragedies that you faced? They were part of the universe making sure it stays intact, is okay."

The sad reality, one of the most twisted things about this situation, is that the system uses the trauma of the eldest members to ensure they continue the cycle.

A funny thing about cults and many religions quite honestly, is that they have specific believes in place to ensure that people are not just indoctrinated, but are also incentivized to perpetuated the doctrine and make others do the same. Almost like evolution, the ideology behind became this way in order to ensure it is believed and doesn't die out like other beliefs.

I know I already put warnings previously, but now I want to bring a real life case because I think I need to hammer home how these beliefs can be so hard to shake off.

WARNING: Talks about Missionary Work, Murder, and passing mentions about colonialism.

The following discussion will involve the case around John Chau's missionary work and end, if you want to skip it, the discussing will begin and finish with the gif below.

So, in case you guys aren't familiar with this guy.

John Chau was a young man, he liked to go on adventures and was a passionate evangelical christian, who also liked to do Missionary Work. He went to a few different places, but the one were he died was in North Sentinel Island. He was killed by the native people there.

North Sentinel Island is among the last few places that has a group of people that are disconnected from the rest of the world. Every time someone tries to establish contact they killed, or at best, barely make it alive for what I recall. We don't know exactly know why since no one has been able to establish communications with them.

Now, I can't have this chat and not mention that is better to leave those people alone. They clearly prefer to continue with their traditional ways, and if you had seen some history you can probably tell even if they were interested, chances are this would end more poorly for them than anyone else.

Considering their reputation, that it is ILLEGAL to try to contact them for that exact reason (John Bribed two fisherman to leave him in the island, there is no way to get there without breaking the law.) You may be wondering, why he choose to go there?

Well, as mentioned before, missionary work; because he firmly believed this was "Satan's last stronghold" since no one was able to preach Christianity to them yet.

Okay, I know I am messing with the tiger here, and I don't want to insult anyone's faith; but I also have to be honest. I am Jewish, but I am a convert, my family is christian (I prefer not to say which branch but is probably obvious,) and while I will try to remain neutral let's say is hard when you are still processing stuff that happened to you.

I will say this, for all the people who called this man a "deluded idiot" when I remember this case, I feel two things, one of them is pity, and the other one is rage.

For starters, trying to force a religion into others is wrong in my eyes, (In Judaism is forbidden to proselytize, the traditional thing is actually deny converts until they ask for a third time.) It also forces an erasure of culture and colonialism, a lot of times trying to absorb past beliefs just to make the new believers happy, which muddies some stuff later on.

So, why I still feel bad for him?

Because he thought he was doing the right thing.

As someone who doesn't believe, in my eyes this is horrifying; but for him? He believes if he doesn't go to preach to this people, they may suffer in eternity for never hearing about Jesus. In his eyes, if he goes to them and convinces this group of worship his lord, he has now given eternal happiness and peace to this people; or the possibility to do so.

I feel bad, because this man was convinced to do something dangerous and bad, by thinking he was saving the lives of these people.

Sorry for the heavy topic, but I feel this was a good way to understand why the society does what it does. Because by bringing real life situations, I think is all the easier to understand how easy you can end up in these places.

Miguel theory doesn't just provide an explanation as to why the dimensions work the way they work, they also provide a nice explanation as to why they all had lived similar struggles, while they had suffered this much.

Is a balm to all those old wounds, because I am pretty sure Peter, nor the rest of the other adults that are "done" or mostly done with the canon events, or heck just suffered a few of them- still had their nightmares and hard times remembering all of the people they lost.

But if they learn about this after? Now they know it wasn't their fault, this was suppose to happen.

Remember what I said earlier? "G-d time is perfect"? That's something I heard growing up, from people who needed to hear that this has to have a purpose, serve a deeper meaning.

Otherwise, is just suffering.

However, can you see the parallels now? A belief that uses the pain and trauma of their members to make them believe, gives a "justifiable" and "noble" reason to continue pushing this narrative too (aka if we don't do it the universe collapses.) And just as well, is also fake, yet they are too blinded to notice, and they are now making people suffer for most probably not good reason while neglecting to learn what is actually going down.

Yeah, this really hammers more than anything the most cultish aspects of the Society. Because it is at is core.

Miguel's Biases

Now, I am convinced Miguel's canon theory is wrong, I know we can't know for sure what's going on until BTVS, but at this point I am rolling with that idea because too many things are adding up for me.

Yet despite how it becomes obvious in a way I consider embarrassing that Miguel doesn't notice- He is blinded by his own theory.

We all have our own biases, is not odd that we are inclined to believe things when they are said for people we respect, admire or look up. Similarly, we are also inclined to believe things more quickly when they align we pre-established world views, or favours a narrative you are more inclined to believe in.

(Yes I admitted how that means this work and others fall into this category, the reason they are as long as they are is because I try to at least to be able to justify my position in some way, and lay all what I think in case someone wants to debate me on it.)

My point with all of this, is that the reason why Miguel cannot see the holes in his own theory as he explains it, is because he is biased by the narrative he has done in his head.

I said this a million times already and I will say it again: No one believes in this more than Miguel, while I think Jess and Peter believe some things and are doubtful with others, Miguel believes all the way.

And just like some missionary people going too far, he can justify all the things he is doing because of this. Because is for the "greater good," and as long as it is for that reason, slamming teens into the train while screaming "you are a mistake!" Is all to save the multiverse.

But we aren't seeing a guy convinced to do things the hard way because sometimes tough situations demand desperate measures. We are seen a man try to cope with his guilt so poorly he created an entire unit dedicated to preserve this idea.

This is horrifying.

And now everything he has done colours different, because let me tell you, if you think too hard about his behaviour now looks a lot more authoritative and insane.

Projection is NOT a great Look Miguel

You know? I firmly believe a lot of people in Miguel's side are biased by his angsty demeanour, by his looks, by the power he has. This isn't to say I am not biased, is just that is not in that direction.

Not gonna lie I can't see this guy throwing stuff and don't remember a couple of temper tantrums my dad has done.

Regardless of my biases, I believe is for this reason I can say that honestly? I find embarrassing that Miguel throws things like that.

Again, I feel these scenes changed a lot the context once you put together that canon isn't part of saving the universe, and that Miguel is getting so worked up about something that until I see the contrary, is a theory he came up by himself with no other backing.

Which means he is throwing stuff at people for no good reason, getting worked up to intense levels that are not appropriate; all while being the boss that doesn't like to be questioned.

Honestly this part isn't exactly necessary on cult leaders, but I would say it happens.

(Again, I don't want to call this necessarily a cult; regardless of how much I think it fits the bill. There are multiple criteria, and I can't evaluate everything.)

One way or another, Miguel's reactions aren't anything good. Think about it, if your boss threw things around when he was angry, would you consider that safe?

Because you know what I consider the most telling part of all of this? Neither when Miguel throws the trashcan, nor when he throws the console, has anyone being surprised about this behaviour.

Let me repeat this; even if this wasn't about Miles, Miguel apparently is known for this enough that no one is phased.

Forget that they are super heroes, I don't think is a great look when the leader of your organization gets so angry he can't think straight, to the point he reaches the wildest conclusions.

This is another reason why I think the mental health in this institution has to be shit, 1) You can't have a harmful belief that enforces suffering and have good mental health, is not feasible. 2) I don't care if Miguel is the boss, or is probably his decision not getting help; is downright embarrassing he is let to do these things and no one questions if he is out of line.

Remember, this shouldn't be a dictatorship, regardless if this was Miguel's idea and operation, if you can't question the leader even if he is wrong; that's tyranny, and all just needs the boss to be wrong once for things to go south.

Now imagine when the entire system is flawed.

Now, the following part feels like I may be repeating myself, but the previous part was about how these actions are bad; and the second one is about why having mental health issues isn't a defence,

I imagine by this point, perhaps someone may want to come out of the woodwork's and say "But you are being completely unfair! Miguel is clearly hurting about this, he is not thinking clearly! That's why he screams to Miles that he is a mistake, he is projecting!"

(Sigh.) You know? I don't think there is a lot of people who would seriously try to say that about someone making a theory like this is still justified to do what he does, because he is clearly trying to substitute reality with his own, but because I had gotten WAY TOO MANY TIMES the "oh poor Miguel/Peter they are traumatized!" I am going to do the thing that is the real reason this post will be controversial.

Because disregarding your mental health to the point is hurting you and affecting others IS BAD TOO.

HEAR ME OUT!

In real life, there are complications like not having money, not having resources you can go to, maybe you are living with an abusive person who will not let you get any help- Things are very complicated, and there are many reasons you are stuck.

This isn't Miguel's case, for starters.

The guy clearly has money, he even has a spider-man psych which means the guy knows how the secret identity goes and has a psychological degree, so you can say he has an available, viable help just right around the corner. He is also a middle-aged man, meaning he should know better.

Because here is the thing, for all the dumb shit Gwen has done, she is a traumatized teen with not the best support, not adults she can rely on, and has a dad which copy mechanism is "I have a job to do," which is the same thing she does. I can believe she doesn't know any better, and will not take the best decisions either. I did my own fair of mistakes at that age so I can't talk.

What is Miguel's excuse? I am sorry, but I feel when you are at that age, when you have a responsibility this big, (that let's not forget everybody, HE CHOSE THIS, no one forced it onto him.) You need to be able to look in yourself and know when you can lead or not, when you can be trusted with big decisions or not. By this point in your life, you shouldn't rely on other people to tell you need help. If you are so much in your own head you are not seeing what's in front of you, that's a problem you need to fix.

You could try to argue that at that point he obviously will not see it, but 1) Honestly people let him get away with it, as we can see. 2) Do we know he would listen, considering this situation?

That doesn't mean letting him go rampant, that means "we took the executive decision you aren't fit as a leader." I am not joking here, Elon Musk was kicked out of paypal for less dumb shit and that's saying something.

I had heard so many excuses over the years about angry men that refuse to address their attitude issues because, "he had a rough childhood," "his father was absent," "he is stressed about work." All while being told that you need to grit your tear and bear it.

I can't take seriously a guy who has the money and the means to recover, yet refuses to confront reality because is more comfortable to fabricate something in your mind.

ESPECIALLY NOT when he is involving more people into his twisted system, that perpetuates people having MORE TRAUMA, all to justify his own.

All, while putting the multi-verse in danger, because he decided to take this task upon himself yet using his own flawed narrative.

And you know why I think Miguel being wrong in multiple things, (his theory, behaviour, literally throwing Gwen for questioning him and "letting him go" and not for disobeying- seriously why throw a way the justifiable reason if it isn't meant to be something?) Is not bad writing in my opinion, is because-

THAT'S THE ENTIRE POINT~!

Notice the funny thing about all of these scenes? All of them have Miguel showing being in the wrong.

Miles is telling Miguel it was the Spot, because it literally was; the black matter started way before and he saw it.

Miles IS Spider-man because he has earned that title, and not by doing a checklist of pre-approved events to see if he fits or not the bill.

Miguel is wrong because he is literally mad at Gwen for questioning him, and is insisting Gwen let Miles go; which is funny because PETER was the one in close quarters with Miles, and had a much better chance of capturing him.

But he isn't given any a reprimand for his behaviour, he gets scotch free while Gwen is being blamed for that blunder; and hey isn't something very traditional of corrupt systems of power favour those close to the inner circle while the "problematic members" are blamed for the mistakes of others?

And you can see all the other mistakes I had laid down already.

Because Miguel is the antagonist.

He is a man so blinded by guilt he has created a whole system made to keep it intact, is absolutely absurd to realize how crazy everything sounds once you put all of these pieces together.

Yet the point of this story is how even while having the most noble of reasons, if you are so focused on the past you are forced to make it your future, you may miss the opportunities out there to make it better.

Just like someone living in an unjust society, convinced it needs to perpetuate the status quo because anything else would mean the end of the world as we know it.

It really shows how sad and twisted this can be.

Oof, that got a little heavy huh? Sorry about that, is hard not to get intense.

Still feel a little crazy seeing the parallels about cults because I don't think the team realized how much this is hammering home with that; or maybe they do and I am underestimating them.

Thank you for anyone who came along in this ready! As always if you have the chance please support my ko-fi, and if you can't, please share this post around!

#atsv #across the spiderverse #miguel o' hara #spider society #gwen stacy #atsv files #as always people are free to disagree #but if I see any reblogs of people just reading the summary and saying I got conclusions out of nowhere #well let's say my patience is thin when is about those people

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moiraineswife · 3 years ago

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Autistic Allegories in Renarin’s Arc - Meta

s’up y’all, your favourite local rambler is back at it again. Diving straight in to this one. The motivation for this post is something that might be controversial, and I’m going to try and explain it as clearly as I can and make my intentions clear, but I get this is the internet and things get misinterpreted to fuck.

So, since Renarin was confirmed to be a queer character, I’ve seen a lot of posts and takes on pretty much every platform I frequent that equates all of Renarin’s traits/struggles in canon as being foreshadowing/parallels to his queer identity and experience.

I get this. I’m also queer. I understand the instinct to take, say, Renarin’s corrupted spren bond and his desire to keep his nature as a Radiant hidden/his lack of understanding initially and assume it to be queer foreshadowing/parallel. I big get that. And that’s not a bad interpretation.

The problem is, this is the ONLY interpretation people put forth. They ignore things explicitly said/connections made in canon to Renarin being autistic and say ‘this is it. this is what this means. it’s about him being gay’. When, actually, a good chunk of it is about his experience as an autistic man in an allistic society. Which I think is what Brandon wants to explore/has set up in the text.

So I decided to look at this in more depth from an autistic perspective - some of the moments that most clearly parallel Renarin’s autistic experience and explain how and why this is a thing, and hopefully just highlight this aspect of his character and explain things to folks.

Renarin’s Blade Screaming

Jumping right into it then: Renarin’s bond with Glys is very clearly paralleled with his autism. The text outlines this connection multiple times throughout the series, and explores it in interesting ways.

First up, Renarin first revealing himself as a Truthwatcher makes this pretty clear:

“And the Shardblade,” Dalinar said, stepping over and taking his son by the shoulder. “You hear screams. That’s what happened to you in the arena. You couldn’t fight because of those shouts in your head from summoning the Blade. Why? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I thought it was me,” Renarin whispered. “My mind. But Glys, he says . . .” Renarin blinked. “Truthwatcher.” (WoR)

“Adolin,” he said softly. “I … um … I have to give you back the Shardblade you won for me.”

“Why?” Adolin said.

“It hurts to hold,” Renarin said. “It always has, to be honest. I thought it was just me, being strange. But it’s all of us.”

“Radiants, you mean.”

He nodded. (Oathbringer)

Renarin didn’t explain to his father or the others what was happening to him because he thought it was part of his autistic experience.

Being autistic you get used to experiencing a lot of in-brain things and not realising that other people don’t experience them, too. I have hypersensitivity to sound. I can hear things other people don’t, because their brains naturally filter them out - like electronics whining.

The experience of having a Shardblade scream inside your head is actually a pretty great parallel for sensory overload. It’s something intense, something frightening, and overwhelming, and even painful. But Renarin just endures it without comment because that’s what we’re conditioned to do.

“A group of shellheads tried to seize one of the bridges, Brightlord,” the bridgeman said softly. “Brightlord Renarin insisted on going to help. Sir, we tried hard to dissuade him. Then, when he got near and summoned his Blade, he just kind of . . . stood there. We got him away, sir, but he’s been sitting on that rock ever since.”

[...]

“I just stood there,” Renarin said. “I wasn’t frozen because of my . . . ailment. I’m just a coward.”

When Adolin hears about Renarin freezing up he assumes that he had a fit. Renarin corrects him on this, once he’s verbal again, but says that he was just a coward.

He froze up once he summoned his Blade. Because it would have started screaming in his head and this was overwhelming. When other Radiants have experienced this on-screen the screaming has been so intense they immediately dropped or dismissed the Blade, unable to hold it.

From this, I infer that Renarin believes everyone experiences this when they fight with a Shardblade. He doesn’t realise that it’s strange for him because he’s a Radiant. He thinks everyone experiences it, but they push through and overcome it. He can’t, and instead of thinking something strange is going on, he assumes that it’s a weakness of his and that he’s a coward.

This is a fairly common autistic experience. Why can’t you just get over this? Why is that overwhelming you? Just ignore the sound. Just ignore the lights. Stop being so weak/oversensitive.

That’s what Renarin thinks is happening. That’s why he doesn’t examine his experiences more closely, and realise he’s a Radiant. He thinks it’s part of him being autistic, and that he’s just being overly sensitive, until Glys is able to communicate with him and explain he’s a Truthwatcher.

The Rhyshadium Don’t Fit

“They don’t fit, you know.”

“Don’t fit?”

“Ryshadium have stone hooves,” Renarin said, “stronger than ordinary horses’. Never need to be shod.”

“And that makes them not fit? I’d say that makes them fit better.…” Adolin eyed Renarin. “You mean ordinary horses, don’t you?”

Renarin blushed, then nodded. (Oathbringer)

This, for me, is one of the most direct and obvious parallel between Renarin’s experience as an autistic man, and his experience as a Radiant.

Firstly, he comments on the Rhyshadium ‘not fitting’ with ordinary horses. They’re different. They have different hooves, which means they never need to be shod, like regular horses. In this case, being shod is something all horses do. It’s something natural for them, and the Rhyshadium not having it makes them stand out. This is similar to Renarin’s experience in society and in life.

The Rhyshadium are sometimes called ‘the third shard’ - they’re tied to the Radiants and to Stormlight. Renarin aligning himself with them, and his not fittng with them not fitting, mirrors his being Radiant stopping him from fitting in as he wants to.

A big part of his arc is his desire to fit in somewhere. His integration with Bridge Four is a huge boost to his confidence. He asks to join them to try and find somewhere to belong. The bridgemen are outcasts. They’re people who don��t fit in society, either, for various different reasons. Renarin fits with them, therefore, because he doesn’t fit elsewhere.

When he starts becoming a Radiant, and a different type of Radiant to the others, he starts to worry again. He worries that, yet again, he’s different for reasons he cannot control, and he’s worried the bridgemen will abandon or reject him as has happened frequently in noble society.

“So why are you embarrassed?”

“I’m … not?”

Adolin gave him a flat stare.

Renarin dismissed the Blade. “I simply … Adolin, I was starting to fit in. With Bridge Four, with being a Shardbearer. Now, I’m in the darkness again. Father expects me to be a Radiant, so I can help him unite the world. But how am I supposed to learn?”

Adolin scratched his chin with his good hand. “Huh. I assumed that it just kind of came to you. It hasn’t?”

“Some has. But it … frightens me, Adolin.” He held up his hand, and it started to glow, wisps of Stormlight trailing off it, like smoke from a fire. “What if I hurt someone, or ruin things?”

The conversation continues, and further solidifies the connection between the Rhyshadium not fitting with other horses, and Renarin not fitting in with other people.

He had become a Shardbearer, and was starting to fight and do what an Alethi man is expected to do in society. Go to war with Shards, with glory, etc etc etc. That didn’t quite work out.

For Renarin, whenever he gets closer to assimilating with the standard society and expectations, something happens to stop him. Initially it’s his epilepsy. He has fits, and his chronic illness makes him generally weaker and more frail, meaning that he can’t fight.

Once he’s given Shards to help mitigate those factors, he can’t use the Shards because his Radiant bond makes them scream inside his head. Again stopping him from fighting and becoming a soldier.

He then goes on to tell Adolin that he doesn’t really know how to Radiant. And Adolin says that he thought it would just come to him/he would instinctively know, but he doesn’t.

This is, again, a very classic autism thing. We struggle with doing things that allistic people find instinctive, and don’t need to be actively taught - such as reading and projecting the correct body language.

Adolin, who takes very naturally to all this stuff, just assumes that Renarin’s Radianting would just come to him, and Renarin has to explain that actually no, it hasn’t. This literally cannot get any clearer in forging an obvious link between his autism and his Radiant abilities.

Renarin’s ‘Corrupted’ Bond:

“What’s wrong with me?” Renarin asked. “Why do I see these things? I thought I was doing something right, with Glys, but somehow it’s all wrong.…” (Oathbringer)

[...]

“Does it strike you as cruel of fate, Father? My blood sickness gets healed, so I can finally be a soldier like I always wanted. But that same healing has given me another kind of fit. More dangerous than the other by far.” (Rhythm of War)

[...]

Lopen called out, asking Renarin to “look into the future and find out if I beat Huio at cards tomorrow.” It seemed a little crass to Dalinar, bringing up his son’s strange disorder, but Renarin took it with a chuckle.

[...]

It would be so much easier if he were like other Radiants. (RoW)

[...]

“And a blackness interfering, marring the beauty of the window. Like a sickness infecting both of you, at the edges.”

“Curious,” Dalinar said, looking where Renarin had pointed, though he’d see only empty air. “I wonder if we’ll ever know what that represents.”

“Oh, that one’s easy, Father,” Renarin said. “That’s me.”

“Renarin, I don’t think you should see yourself as—”

“You needn’t try to protect my ego, Father. When Glys and I bonded, we became … something new. We see the future. At first I was confused at my place—but I’ve come to understand. What I see interferes with Odium’s ability. Because I can see possibilities of the future, my knowledge changes what I will do. Therefore, his ability to see my future is obscured. Anyone close to me is difficult for him to read.”

“I find that comforting,” Dalinar said, putting his arm around Renarin’s shoulders. “Whatever you are, son, it’s a blessing. You might be a different kind of Radiant, but you’re Radiant all the same. You shouldn’t feel you need to hide this or your spren.”

Renarin ducked his head, embarrassed. His father knew not to touch him too quickly, too unexpectedly, so it wasn’t the arm around his shoulders. It was just that … well, Dalinar was so accustomed to being able to do whatever he wanted. He had written a storming book.

Renarin held no illusions that he would be similarly accepted. He and his father might be of similar rank, from the same family, but Renarin had never been able to navigate society like Dalinar did. True, his father at times “navigated” society like a chull marching through a crowd, but people got out of the way all the same.

Not for Renarin. The people of both Alethkar and Azir had thousands of years training them to fear and condemn anyone who claimed to be able to see the future. They weren’t going to put that aside easily, and particularly not for Renarin. (RoW)

Sorry for the quote barrage, but there was really no other way to do this, and I think it makes a nice little arc in how Renarin sees himself and his bond to Glys and, by extension, his autism.

In the temple, with Jasnah, he considers it to be something wrong. He’d thought he was finally fitting in, being like everyone else, doing something “right” but it turns out his bond is of Odium, and while he thought he fit with the others, he doesn’t. Again.

The RoW segments are what’s most interesting to me, because what we see here, I think, is Dalinar experiencing Renarin’s ‘disorder’ as he calls it and processing it/coming to terms with it in a way a lot of parents approach their kids’ autism. But this is a bit more approachable/less painful to look at because he’s considering him being a weird glowing power ranger, and not an autistic kid. Easier to examine more honestly.

So first of all Renarin, again, calls a direct link between his bond and his autism. The ‘healing’ that came with his bond gave him another kind of otherness. Another way he can’t be a soldier - which, for Renarin, in Alethi society, means him being like everyone else. I was going to go into this more here but this thing is already long as fuck, but in a nutshell being a soldier is Renarin’s dream because that’s him being “normal” and being like everyone else, which fate always conspires to stop him from being.

In Alethi society the peak of masculinity and of fitting in to the social order, which revolves around war and glory and battle courage blah blah blah - is being a soldier and fighting. Which Renarin has never been able to do. Which his father has always wanted him to do - wihich Renarin knows.

A lot of allistic people, especially allistic parents, think their autistic kids won’t pick up on their blatant ‘oh my god I wish my kid was normal’ vibes. They do. BELIEVE ME they do. This is a good little nod to that. Dalinar has never outright looked at Renarin and said ‘I want you to be a soldier to be worthy of my love and respect’ but it’s what Renarin grew up knowing and seeing from him.

The evolution of that through exploring Dalinar’s attitude to Renarin being bonded with an Odium-aligned spren is...Utterly fascinating, to say the least.

Here, for example, Dalinar sees it as a “strange disorder”. When Renarin calls a spade a spade and just goes ‘yeah no that weird thing right there that makes you comfortable? That’s me, buddy, get used to it’. Which is just. Absolutely effervescent. There’s a big instinct allistic people have to dance around autistic people. So many innuendos. So many fluffy phrase that I hate. “On the spectrum.” “On the autism spectrum”. “Differently abled” “Sees the world differently.” Just call me autistic and let me move on with life I do not have time to deal with your internalised issues.

He kind of comes around on it and gives him the whole “you might be a different Radiant but you’re still a Radiant to me, son”. Replace the word Radiant here with person and you’ll have a conversation I’ve experienced so many times. “Just because you’re a weird person doesn’t mean you’re not still a person!” Why thank you for pointing that out. I hadn’t noticed....Thank you for validating my humanity to my face?? As though I needed you to do that?

Contrast this with Renarin’s cheerful acceptance (ABSOLUTELY STUNNING DEVELOPMENT, HELL YES) - ‘yeah no that weird thing right there is me’. I cheered, dear reader, I CHEERED. It’s a little thing but it’s also a very very big thing.

So is Lopen making light of things - in a way that laughs with Renarin and not at him - wanting him to predict the outcome of his card game. Renarin laughs at this, and is obviously comfortable with the jokes and the camaraderie. Dalinar winces at this and thinks that it shouldn’t be made fun of this way, that it’s crass or wrong, Renarin has a disorder, it makes him weird and delicate, people shouldn’t joke around him with that, it’s not right. But Renarin is comfortable with it, and the Bridgemen are comfortable with him, which Dalinar obviously isn’t - though I get that he’s trying to go there.

Then, again, we draw a very direct parallel between Renarin’s Radiant experience othering him socially and autism othering a person socially. Absolutely exquisitely done mister sando, very nice indeed.

Renarin notes that there are ways to go through society. It’s nice to be like Dalinar and have the clout to buck the expectations, and not do what you’re supposed to, and still get away with it. Isn’t that nice? Bitch wrote and published a book and he’s still seen as masculine and worthy of respect and being yielded too.

Remember that Renarin can read and write as well - he learned so he could interpret his visions. But he hasn’t shared that with people. Because he knows that it won’t be accepted the way Dalinar was.

Sanderson sets up this idea rather nicely in Oathbringer, actually, with the scribes meeting.

Renarin glanced at his father. Dalinar responded with a raised fist.

He came so Renarin wouldn’t feel awkward, Shallan realized. It can’t be improper or feminine for the prince to be here if the storming Blackthorn decides to attend.

This part has always made my heart happy. Because it’s not just about Dalinar validating Renarin’s societally ‘feminine’ tendencies - which he gets subtly bullied/mocked for during that meeting by one of the other women in attendance. It’s about all of his differences, it’s about Dalinar validating his autistic experience as well, and helping to fit him in to a society that continually rejects and ousts him.

This idea evolves through RoW, however, with Renarin understanding that Dalinar can do things that he won’t be allowed to get away with. Dalinar isn’t so much breaking down barriers with Oathbringer as he is stomping through them because he has enough social privilege to do so, for the most part, unscathed.

Renarin keeps his reading a secret because, even after what Dalinar has done, it’s not going to change things for most men, and certainly not him.

Renarin has learned, throughout his life, that him being different is not going to break down any barriers. People are not going to change their world, or their worldview, for him and his differences. He knows that he has to adapt, and he knows that he won’t be afforded the same luxuries as others.

He’s more comfortable with this now. He’s learning to be himself, and learning that the world won’t fit itself to him, he just has to do what he’s going to do anyway, and find the places where he fits, rather than trying to change the ones where he doesn’t. It’s actually a really beautiful little arc, and I’m strongly tempted to look at it in more depth at some point. Renarin and Dalinar’s dynamic is actually incredibly deep, layerd, and complex, and it’s something I’ve been meaning to look at for a while. HOWEVER. NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THAT.

TL;DR: Renarin’s Radiant experience is a direct allegory and parallel to his autistic experience. This is explored and made blatant by canon repeatedly, throughout the series, and Renarin’s experience as a Radiant is clearly a vessel by which Sanderson intends to explore his autism. Stop erasing and ignoring this when you talk about Renarin and analyse his arc. His autism is as intrinsic to this as it is to identity. It’s part of him. Stop erasing it.

I’m not saying you can’t find parallels or comfort in Renarin’s arc as a queer person. I’m just saying you cannot look at it in isolation. As though the text is ONLY making a parallel between his queer identity and his bond. Because it’s very fucking blatantly not. His autism is obviously and canonically tied to his Radiant bond and this is something that MUST be noted whenever you talk about this aspect of Renarin’s character.

Note: if anyone has any questions or comments on this, I am happy to engage and to clarify what I meant/add further detail and supporting evidence for various different aspects. There’s only so much I can cover in one post! For my sanity as well as yours...But there’s absolutely more, and I’m happy to look at that as well.

#renarin kholin #dalinar kholin #adolin kholin #brandon sanderson #rhythm of war #stormlight archive #stormlight meta #renarin meta #my meta #dalinar meta #lopen #bridge four #long post #text post tag #i WILL force y'all to acknowledge renarin's autistic experience if it kills me :)#honestly this shit is even more blatant than i thought it was #like i knew this was what brandon was doing?#i picked that up on a casual read #but actually digging into it and analysing it he genuinely couldn't make this more obvious if he tried #he may as well have giant neon signs taped to renarin following him around going #THIS MAN'S AUTISM IS PARALLELED BY HIS EXPERIENCE AS A NEW RADIANT #CONSIDER THIS AND CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE AND ASSUMPTIONS #BRANDO SANDO OUT #taryn talks #mine #anyway #pls read and reblog and be aware of what u write in future

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nutellarchives · 2 years ago

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My K-Dramas of June - August (First Half) part 1

As June marked the last month of my classes for the term, I grabbed the opportunity to marathon K-Drama as much as I can. With that goal in mind, I was able to finish 7 K-dramas and would like to give my thoughts with the following. This might be a spoiler full review-ish so disclaimer for that.

p.s. if you haven't watched all of the drama on the list, I recommend just scrolling past that title you haven't watch yet and go back to this blog post when you're already done!

p.p.s. Trigger warning too, I have watched some K-dramas that might be sensitive for others, please read with caution.

Tomorrow

The first K-drama I've watched last June was Tomorrow. I watched this in a whim because even though I have a lot to watch on my K-drama list, I am only comfortable watching K-dramas on mobile, so Netflix and Viu. It was newly released during the time I've decided to watch it and I've heard good things about it so I gave it a go without any information or a tiny bit of synopsis (just watching it blindly ehe). First few episodes and I'm already hooked! Since I am really interested into concepts where it's not part of my culture aka something new (e.g. Afterlife, Reincarnation, Grim Reapers etc.). Learning things about the East-Asian culture has always been a fascinating thing to me and I wanted to learn more.

This drama also touched one of the taboo topics in Korea, which is suicide. It is a very heavy topic to portray in media but I do think that they were able to nail it and was able to convey a message regarding suicide and how to overcome it.

The cast dynamics is one of the factors that made me continue to watch, although everyone is new to me, as I haven't watched any dramas that they starred in, I was able to enjoy their performance and how they are able to pull off each character.

What made me add this drama to my favorites list is how things were connected, how the character's attitudes and perception towards suicide is based on their experiences from their past lives and how the story intertwined with the character's pasts. I especially liked how Ryeon and Joong-gil were lovers in their past lives (even though this drama is not romance heavy, I still manage to get kilig during the time we're they were still together).

One thing that felt short for me is the lack of depth and focus on Junwoong's past life. I do think that him being in a comma for months in the present is a sad thing and I won't question that but regarding his past life, I feel like the integration of that is something that wasn't thought very well. I've expected Junwoong's past life to be more meaningful as he was one of the main leads. But I guess it won't really make sense if he is connected with the other lead's past lives as he just accidentally got into the squad. I honestly wish there was more to it but I'm gonna just accept that he did great things in the past and be contented with that.

A Korean Odyssey

After watching Tomorrow, I immediately started watching A Korean Odyssey. It is a fantasy, lil comedy, romance, horror-ish, star-crossed lovers K-drama. This drama has been added to my list for a bit, maybe a year ago, because of that short preview from Netflix and that intrigued me because of well... it's a bit of a jumpscare so I was curious. (If you have watched that preview video, you know what I mean plus I watched that like 10pm so it scared the sh** out of me)

All I can say is that this drama deserves more recognition. It's a good balance between the good stuff and the tragic happenings and it is also accompanied by a comedic relief which somewhat gave a light tone. It is romance heavy and when I say romance heavy I meant that kind of romance . The cast are all so good in portraying their characters and they aren't that forgettable. The actors really nailed their roles and it also added to the cohesiveness of the drama as a whole.

After watching this K-Drama, I have found another actor to look out for, which is Lee SeungGi. He is actually a household name in the Korean Media Industry and I have heard of him many times, due to the famous My Girlfriend is a Gumiho and him being able to sing, but this is the first time I've actually watched a drama that he is the main character. Given I've really liked his acting here, I've added him to my favorite actors list! which btw is non existent but let's pretend it does Because of that admiration of his performance, I did watched another K-drama that he starred in in this list.

I recommend this drama if you are looking for a binge-worthy fantasy with comedy, horror-ish and also tragedy on the side. However though, I'd say the ending is a bit unfortunate. It suggests a season 2 but 5 years after it's release, I doubt that there will be a season 2 unless...

Two Cops

While watching Tomorrow, I also watched this drama with a friend; Two Cops! I'd say its a fun watch, generic but still worth the time.

It's about a police and a con artist that got into an accident and then the con artist possessed the body of the police. Sounds scary? It's not under a horror genre though. The purpose of the unexplainable possession is to uncover the truth that lies between the two leads and the other characters related to them. This follows a similar structure of intertwined lives as they have crossed paths once just like tomorrow minus the past lives as this one is from childhood to adulthood.

It's my first time watching Jo Jungsuk even after the famous hospital playlist which btw I haven't watched yet. I like the duality in his role here and his performance is convincing. He has the serious side and the goofy side which I enjoyed watching. It's also fun to see Hyeri here as I haven't watched her in a while after dropping Reply 1988 please don't come after me, a lot has enjoyed that drama but during the time that I've watched it.. I just didn't feel it. She's still the goofy and fun Hyeri that I've watched in Reply 1988 though, which is not really bad but nostalgic. As for Seonho, I did watch this drama because of him. My friend was a super fan of this guy, we call this oppa (and our other oppas) samcheon, due to having 10+ age gap between us and our favorite actors, and I've decided to binge Seonho dramas with her to let the lady enjoy and as for me I wanted to see more of his acting.

This drama is okay though, not something that made my mind blown or something. As I've mentioned, it's generic but still worth watching especially to Seonho fans. Though I can say that I'm quite disappointed that Seonho had a lil less screen time compared to Jungsuk but nonetheless they both carried the show well.

Mouse

Here is another Lee SeungGi drama as promised, (from that A Korean Odyssey post). Mouse. After watching A Korean Odyssey and enjoyed SeungGi's performance, I followed it up with another one of his dramas.

Mouse is a thriller, mystery, twisty and dark drama about psychopaths and whether or not they are born not made. This drama focuses on discovering the Psychopath gene, due to Korea's advancing technology, a Doctor was able to detect a gene that is present among Psychopaths to fetuses. It is an interesting concept but as the disclaimer in every start of the episode, it is a work of fiction, so Psychopath gene ain't real hopefully.

I'd say throughout the whole 20 episodes that I've endured, it was interesting rather than enjoyable. Giving you a grave warning that this drama isn't for the light-hearted, it's always about murder and killings, since the story focuses on Serial Killers.

Aside from the serial killings and psychopaths, Of course it focuses on a handful of characters and let's the viewers know their inner conflicts and struggles. There's no room of certainty in this drama as every episode ends with a question.

After a few episodes, I thought that this drama would overthrow my favorite K-drama of all time which is Law School but after the second half, it didn't. I had high expectations with it but after answers were revealed, it felt confusing and overwhelming as for the first 14 eps, they left me with questions and suddenly they bombarded some answers which it was too much for me to comprehend. Adding to that, there were too many characters to focus on, though the main focus would be the two main leads, there were other side characters that are also related to the story line that were also given too much stress and that made the experience dense. I'd say 16 episodes would be sufficient as the duration of 20 eps felt dragging but alright I guess they need that many episodes for the narrative.

Overall, if you are ready for a heavy drama with killings involved, I recommend this. It will make you question whether what's shown is the whole picture or details were left out. Kudos to the actors, I can really feel their stress and conflicts.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That would conclude the first part of this post. I decided that 7 dramas in one post might give a cognitive overload so stay tuned for the second part!

Thanks for making this far, it's a long post but I hope you find it interesting (or I hope it makes sense hehe).

Click here for part 2.

- ella

#tomorrow #a korean odyssey #two cops #mouse #k-drama #tomorrow kdrama #two cops kdrama #mouse kdrama #lee seunggi #kim seonho #jo jungsuk #hyeri #rowon #kim hee sun #mbc tomorrow

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lazzledazzler · 3 years ago

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Lazzle's Rune Factory 5 Review

Alright so here are my thoughts and experiences with RF5! This is a big boy so buckle in earthmates...

Obviously this review will contain spoilers, read at your own risk.

Initial thoughts upon playing...

Great opening! I enjoyed the jazz music~ I did feel like it leaned a bit more towards the male player though. It definitely feels like a rune factory game. It's familiar, and controls are easy to get accustomed to for the most part. The mold is there and rf5 doesn't stray too far from its predecessors which is comforting for veterans. That being said, I'm not going to pull any punches and will critique this game harshly. Keep in mind as updates for the game are released not all things discussed in this review will be as relevant overtime!

Let's hear some thoughts on...

The story/plot. The plot is enjoyable overall. I'm not crazy about the whole Seed organization thing but it was a neat idea. They address the Sechs Territory and it is confirmed that the game takes place some decades after RF4. But by the end of it, I didn't feel like I really accomplished anything because it felt like I barely did anything really. Also they left a lot of stuff unanswered. I'm not even sure I understood the message they were sending, if they were trying to send a message at all. The main story is too short, and it doesn't involve enough of the townsfolk. You're basically doing everything yourself in secret the whole time and the townsfolk barely know what's actually going on. Out of the love interests, Lucas plays the largest part in the story, followed by Priscilla and Scarlett. The story feels targeted at male audiences--at least that's how I felt. You, the player, have a larger role in the game, much like in RF3 and I was glad to see this. As of right now there are only two arcs. Praying for DLC 3rd arc...!

Protagonists. The latest protagonists to join the crew of Earthmates are...decent. Their designs are nothing special unfortunately, though I appreciate Alice's more than Ares's. Appearance-wise they lack personality and creativity. Personality wise I am pleasantly surprised with how sociable they are. They're not exactly quick witted and sassy like Lest/Frey were in rf4, or as endearing as Micah in rf3, but they have a certain realness to them that makes their reactions to things believable. I'm certain Xseed will see to making them a bit more sarcastic in their localizing efforts, so let's all look forward to that. Overall though, while I appreciate their mannerisms, they don't really measure up to all the previous amnesiacs we've grown to love over the decades.

Characters. Overall I enjoy all the characters introduced in Rune Factory 5! I feel like there is someone for everyone in this game on some level. The voice acting was pretty good for every character. The designs are very much Rune factory. Like OG runefa, compared to rf4 ( 4 kind of strayed from their usual style) which I like. Characters still have their own signature quirks that you find endearing. Although I would have liked to see more variety? Like we've had mermaids, univir, half monsters, vampires, etc in previous titles but rf5 only gives us the usual (half) elf, dwarf, and then a succubus (physically she doesn't have unique features aside from the ears and heart eyes), and some were-people. I was hoping for something more unique to really give that classic runefa vibe.

Dungeons/Battles. I'm pretty split on this one. On the one hand, the dungeons have more depth due to the 3D aspects. They've included more contraptions that are very fun to see even if they aren't executed that well. So I'm grateful for that. On the other hand, the dungeons are insanely short imo. It doesn't take long at all to get to the boss. The puzzles are also pretty subpar and few compared to RF4. Fighting monsters is similar to the other games. You can lock on now but I only use it when I'm trying to use my Seed Circle. The lock on feature is actually counter-intuitive and makes it harder to dodge. Weapon mechanics have shifted a bit. There’s a feature that makes you invincible to damage if you time the R button dash correctly. Axes and Hammers are significantly slower than in older games? Like. I thought I was in slow motion it was so slow. Lances are also harder to use as well? I'm questioning my sanity here. I don't know if it's a bug or intentional either.

Farming. Not much has changed from previous games mechanics wise. They added new types of special crops which is neat. The camera view changes to overhead when you go near your fields though, and it can make you dizzy/uncomfortable. It actually makes it a bit difficult to see at times so I wish there was a way to adjust the angle. If you are tilling corn or dried weeds to improve the soil, you need to place them separately if you don't want to use the entire stack. Otherwise, it will till the entire stack on the land if you place them all down at once. The flower shop is unlocked late in the story. Weird thing to do considering you need flowers to make medicine. Not to mention the fact that you wont have access to the fertilizer that increases defense against typhoons? During typhoon season? Thinking emoji...

The town. I have to say Rigbarth's design is poor compared to Sharance, Selphia, etc. It's too big and it takes too long to get around. Everything is too spaced out and there aren't enough warp points to make it easier on players. I don't want to walk an entire mile up a hill to talk to one person and then walk all the way down to the beach to speak to another. It doesn’t really feel like a ‘town’.

OST/BGM. Music was good, though nothing really stood out to me where I'd go "damn this slaps" or something. I think they might've had some old soundtracks from rf2 or something because it felt really nostalgic at times.

We need an exterminator. (Bugs Bugs Bugs)

Marvelous, I don't know how to tell you this buuut...your customers are NOT your testers. When you release a game, you need to make sure it's not littered with glitches because customers don't enjoy dealing with them and will drop the game!

Here are some of the types of glitches I encountered:

Crashing. Game would randomly crash or freeze and close at any moment. Sooooo frustrating! Sometimes you get lucky with the autosave feature, but the autosave only activates every morning at 6am in your room and then when you warp to a dungeon level/floor. So when you're in the middle of your daily tasks in town and it crashes, you have to start all over. Marveloussss no one enjoys losing their progress in a game I promise you that much.

Lag. The dialogue bar is seriously slow, especially after loading your file. Crafting/Cooking screen lags. When you press the Y button to skip through dialogue it lags like hell. Pretty much after every time you load the game will lag, the audio will lag if you're in a battle, everything is just. so. slow.

Repeating dialogue. So if you close your game entirely (or if it crashes) naturally you'll reload your file to continue where you left off. There's a bug that will cause all NPCs to repeat the last dialogue that occurred from whatever plot related thing you did last. So for example, if the last thing you did in the story was unlock Ludmilla, everyone in town will naturally have some dialogue about her. But even after seeing all this dialogue and even saving, if the game is closed and reloaded you'll have to read all that dialogue again from townsfolk. It got really annoying after a while.

Monster taming. One time I tamed a monster but once I named it and hit 'ok' the monster never showed up in my barns? Just. gone. Okaaaay then...? Additionally, I expanded one of my monster barns but all of the monsters I tamed wouldn't appear in the added room. You get 4 monsters for each room but the monsters I tamed would show up in the original room. Meaning I had like 7 monsters in one room! I tried to bring them into the newly added room but they would just warp back to the other room. Sad.

Pond Glitch. I fished in the pond located in Sasayaki Forest and left the fish I caught but didn't want laying around the water's edge. If you leave fish around the pond's edge and go to sleep, the next morning you will be teleported to the pond and trigger the fairy dialogue as if you had thrown all of the fish into the pond??? So the dialogue of her telling you she wants 'X item, not this!' will trigger over and over for all of the fish you left at the water's edge. RIP.

Party member Bug. I had Martin in my party and I made him leave. Then when I went into my monster barns to get a monster pal to join me instead it showed me Martin's portrait???? Also I've encountered a bug where I can no longer ask anyone to join my party for some unknown reason. The R &L button prompt was just gone when I reloaded.

Errors. When cooking or crafting, the dialogue box shows up sometimes...

Typos. Random average typo here and there. Not a real biggie but there is one instance where the heroine will use the japanese male pronoun "boku" instead of "watashi" which really convinced me that this game was completely intended for men lol.

Let's talk about Pros

The good stuff. The stuff that makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.

Plot Advancing. Now I'm gonna put this as a pro because I'm certain the average player will enjoy this even though I do not. There are now markers on the map to show you where to go to advance the plot. This is all well and dandy, but it also made the story less appealing for me because you don't need to go around town and speak to residents for clues or assistance to advance anything in the story.

3D Graphics The 3D models are all amazing. The interior designs of the houses/buildings are also incredibly detailed and realistic.

Collecting items. Now there's a feature that will allow you to collect items into your inventory just by walking over them. This is pretty neat and welcome for the most part. Once the item is sparkling, you can walk over it and it'll go into your rucksack automatically. This also makes lumbering and mining go much faster. Yay!

The miraculous L pocket. Now you can customize the categories that appear in your L pocket by going to the rucksack tab in the menu. This is a super neat feature that makes things easier on players who want to manage their items in a format that suits them.

Weapon/Tool Toggling. You can now toggle between your equipped weapon and tool by pressing the left or right buttons on the trackpad.

Collecting lumber/material stone. Oh lord this is probably the most welcome improvement moving forward from the previous game. You can now put all of the lumber and material stone from your inventory into its storage at once. This also applies to fodder for tamed monsters. Well done Hakama.

Autosave. This feature is a welcome addition to the series. The game will save your data every morning and every time you enter a dungeon. Autosave has really saved my ass a few times when I made a huge error in judgement so I'm incredibly grateful for this feature. And it doesn't save over your actual save file--there's a separate autosave file at the very top. So if you messed up something but already saved on your main file, you can still salvage your mistake by reloading the autosave! I just wish it activated a bit more often sometimes.

Warping. Now we can warp to each level in a dungeon as well as certain places on the map in town. It's pretty convenient for the most part.

Increased party members. Now you can have up to 3 members in your party! Hooray! Party members act more intelligently than in older games. Scarlett can use the Seed circle to assist you in fights. I think she also tosses healing potions at you occasionally. So far, no one has tossed a dish at me if I haven't eaten like Kiel and Clorica did in rf4. But I have been hit by a failed dish (from reinhardt?) and a healing potion (from scarlett). Scarlett, Priscilla, and Reinhardt are the most helpful when dungeon crawling in my experience. Some of them however, (looking at you Doug) don't shut the hell up with their one line of dialogue they have and repeat it constantly.

Seed Circle. This neat feature allows you to capture monsters. By charging it and releasing you can capture monsters for the bounty system or add them to your party temporarily. If you throw it without charging it, you can stun monsters in place momentarily or grab things from far away. When stunning monsters, it can also give you the monster's drop item occasionally. Unfortunately it uses a lot of RP so it can be difficult at times.

Combo attacks. This is a neat feature that I appreciate and use often for boss fights. They do some serious damage so it's good to save them for the bosses. The actual cutscenes aren't that impressive, and feel kind of subpar when you get down to it but I think it's a start in the right direction.

Farm Dragons. I'm listing this as a pro although I really just see it as a new feature. Farm dragons have fields on their backs that you can place monster barns on and farm on. Giving them certain crystals will give your fields boosts in certain criteria, like length of growth, soil quality, you get it. I personally don't use the crystals because I couldn't give a shit lmao I have men and women to woo here. But if you're into this kinda thing then it's a pro.

Storage. When opening your storage box, fridge, etc. you can actually hit the R & L buttons to switch between ALL of your other storages. Looooove thissss. Great addition. So much faster to put items away in their respective places.

Crafting/Forging. Now we can also use the R & L buttons to alternate between the different weapon types/accessory/gear types instead of having to exit the menu and going back in each time you want to make something different.

Cooking. More recipes have been added. Yay!

Days are longer now. More time to get shit doneeeee ayyyy

Fishing. They've added many more fish to the game! Now the player will shout something when you get a bite, making it easier for you to hit B at the right moment. Nice. Also if you fail or press B too early, the fish doesn't vanish most of the time. Also nice. There is now a feature to fish with another person's assistance. Once a day you can investigate the sign near the fishing station and someone might offer to lend you a hand. Press the B button at the right moments on the slider and you can get a rare fish that can't be caught normally.

Monsters. New types of monsters! Love the designs. Even the monsters that are the same but just have different skins are really neat. They look great in the 3D format too. You can even ride with up to two people on certain monsters! Some bosses had awesome designs while others...were bad.

New Types of Furniture. The carpenter store has a wide arrange of furniture you can buy for your home. It also has wallpapers and stuff which is really neat. Though unfortunately you can't even sit on some of the furniture so that's a shame.

Events. Now there is a system where events are triggered by approaching an icon on the map. This is probably an improvement to RF4's randomized system, though personally I found it annoying because it meant that I had to see the events before I could just enter a building normally. Sometimes I just wanted to get shit done and not have to read through walls of text for someone's love event when I just want to buy something.

Voiced Lines. The protagonist seems to have more voiced lines, as do other characters. Good!

Let's talk about Cons

Not including glitches. Oh boy. So many cons. Where do I start?

Dialogue. Probably the most notable con in the entire game. The dialogue is drastically minimal in comparison to previous games, especially rf4. There is probably a quarter of the amount of dialogue compared to rf4's insane amount of content if not less. Townsfolk repeat themselves. Often. Too often. Am I playing Harvest Moon? Originally I thought it was because the dialogue is randomized, but I think it's actually because more dialogue is unlocked as you raise townspeople's FP. Despite this, there's no linear build up where you start off as acquaintances and eventually become very close like in rf4 because of how sporadic the LP/FP is. Townsfolk don't even talk to each other. One of the greatest perks about runefa is the conversations townsfolk can have with one another. Residents randomly gathering in small groups to talk about anything. Previously you could add someone to your party and sometimes a dialogue will occur if you speak to the right person at the right time with that person in your party. This is nonexistent now. The only time they do this in rf5 is during the festivals. But, it will only trigger if you have unlocked all the characters in each marriageable lineup and they can't be in your party. The residents will talk about one another but that's pretty much it outside of town events. They got rid of all the minor dialogue that occurs too. Trying to sleep in someone's bed while they're right there? They wont comment. Inspecting objects in stores while the shopkeeper is present? Wont say anything. Take a character with you to a dungeon/boss fight? Their lips are sealed. Where's my sense of community? :(

FP/LP This ties into the dialogue issue. The rate at which LP/FP increases is sporadic as hell. You can go from 1FP/LP to 4FP/LP just by giving a gift sometimes. I wouldn't even speak to people and their affinity increased by like triple for no reason. Then it increases by like 2% for the longest time. Argh!!!

Graphics. I don't consider myself very picky when it comes to graphics. I don't really mind that the foliage and scenery are at the level of a ps2 game at best. I tried playing on my television initially, but the lag and camera operability was too much so I fully switched (haha puns) to handheld. One thing that sucked is that I literally cannot tell the difference between medicinal herbs, antidote grasses, and green grasses without the captions because the graphics are so indistinguishable. So when you're trying to pick up multiples of those items by holding the A button, you're just randomly walking over anything green in the hopes that you'll get the right ones...

Lack of Sound Effects. Something I noticed is they got rid of the sound effects that will play when you complete a puzzle or add someone to your party. When you try to brush a monster there's no sound for the '♪' they make when you successfully brush them. So it was hard for me to tell if I had actually brushed them or not. I was a bit saddened by the lack of cute sounds.

Too much free range. From the very beginning of the game, you're allowed to go pretty much wherever you want when leaving town. It was too easy to stumble into high enemy level territory without knowing, so when I was like level 5 so I got KO'd immediately.

Artwork. The portraits seem to be lower in quality somehow. Runefa has always had shitty portrait art imo but this time it's even worse. Many character's eyes looked fucked up. Though the 3D models are insanely good for mostly every character except Terry. Terry's 3D model looks Terryfying and I prefer his portrait.

Festivals. They've added some new festivals. Some I enjoy. Some not so much. They changed the format of the eating contest. It's horrible. Good luck with that one.

L pocket + R button? They got rid of the feature that lets you skip to the other end of your items when opening the L pocket by pressing R button. I really liked that feature because it made it faster to reach my items so I was bummed that they got rid of it.

Gotta go fast. Now when you speak to someone, it doesn't 'stop time' as you might say it did in previous games. So people are still moving about as you speak to someone, making it harder to catch up to people! Annoying!!!

Catch and release? Not in my farming simulator! Say goodbye to being able to toss a fish you caught back into the water. In fact, say goodbye to tossing anything you don't want anymore into the water. Now you just have an army of fish flopping on the ground around you. And with the auto pick up feature, they're probably going to end up in your inventory anyways once you try to move. There are still certain ponds with fairies that you can toss stuff into, but you'll have to deal with the fairy harping at you for giving her something she doesn't want.

Shop Hours. Oh god. The shop owners don't even open their stores at the correct hours? It says open at 9am. If you speak to them they won't open their store until like 9:07??? But Priscilla and Lucy will show up to work their part-time jobs at around 8:30am and you can buy stuff through them before 9am. So the actual shop owners (for the bread shop and general store) are pointless usually. Additionally, if the store is empty (but open) you can no longer add a shopkeeper into your party and then enter their store with them to buy things from them. Why. Just why. When you want to buy something that only a specific person sells (Only Hina sells fish, only Heinz sells misc items) you have to wait for them to finally decide to work in their own store. Wonderful.

Monster Item drops. Maybe I'm crazy but the monster drops are seriously a lot harder to get than in previous games. Especially boss drops. It's almost impossible to get the rare drops now. I don't even want to try anymore. And as far as I know, the only place to buy monster items is through Heinz, but his items are actually misc. items, not specifically monster drops. So you'll be lucky to check his store (whenever tf he decides to actually work) for any monster items you might want instead of farming for the drops. Sighs.

Difficulty. This game is too easy. There is little to no challenge whatsoever. I had to increase the difficulty setting to hard mode and it was still too easy. I beat it at level 139, never once did I need to grind or level. In fact, your character levels up way too quickly for the pace of the story. I had zero trouble with any of the bosses and even the final boss was a breeze. Quite sad. Though because I am not new to the franchise, it's likely that newcomers would have some trouble in the later parts of the story.

Fishing cons. Idk how you fck up fishing but they sure did. You have to stand further back now because the pole is so long that you'll miss the fish you're aiming for. In fact, it's seriously hard to aim period. You'll end up recasting more often than not. Fish come in the various sizes but they don't seem to have the darker or faded characteristics that can indicate whether it's a rare fish or not. The graphics make it hard to tell. The pros that i've already mentioned are welcomed but it doesn't negate the fact that I do not enjoy fishing like I did in previous games.

Mining/Lumbering Cons. You can no longer strike three times consecutively when mining/lumbering. This sucks lol. Even when you upgrade your axe or hammer, powering up the tool does nothing for getting wood and material stone--it only expands the area of your strike. So it takes longer to get wood/stone from stumps and rocks now since you have to strike the full 9 times but it's not too bad. It's also harder to aim now as well so that's also unfortunate.

Seasonal Fields? Kiss them goodbye! That's right, there are no seasonal fields in rf5 because devs are insane! You instead have the farm dragons that seem to look seasonal based on the fact that they are designed after elements like earth, water, and fire. But no, these dragons are simply extra fields for you to use. Here's a spoiler: you're not going to use those fields. You're just not. They're kinda useless unless you're obsessed with farming. Now you have to grow your crops out of season like the sad farmer that you are.

Farming cons. Seeds no longer tell you how long it takes to grow the crop. Why. As of June 29th, they fixed this with an update. But I still had to play the whole game without it so fuck you marvelous. The joystick is really sensitive? So when you're trying to use a fertilizer or something on your field you're likely to place it on the wrong 4x4 tile, wasting your fertilizer. So it’s best to hold down the R button when farming. Also the crops look uglie as hell.

Sleeping and warping cutscenes. Just like in rf4 there's a cutscene when you go to sleep that can be skipped easily by pressing A. In rf5, there's a cutscene to sleep and a cutscene when waking up. It takes a bit more than a second to skip these scenes so it gets annoying after a while. Warping is this new feature that replaces our beloved escape spell. Overall I appreciate the feature but I hate it for two reasons. One: there's an annoying ass cutscene for it each time you use it that could be much shorter. And Two: townsfolk now use warp even when inside the town. In previous games, someone exiting your party in town would just manually run to wherever they need to be. So you could easily chase after them if you need to talk to them or give them something. Now, party members use warp regardless of where you are at the time. So say you have someone at 7 hearts and you want to try confessing to them. You would have them join your party, save your game, and then have them leave your party and immediately speak to them and confess before they can run off. If it doesn't work you reload until it does. In RF5 this wouldn't work anymore because they will warp. Now you would have to save, run around town trying to find this person and hope they accept the confession. Otherwise you'll have to play hide and seek again because reloading your file will randomize the resident's locations (if they are not working in a shop)!!!! I often just waited until a festival day because then they will be at the plaza for most of the day and it has a warp point there.

Crafting/Forging/Cooking. They've removed the feature where you can press Y on the ingredients in the menu to add more of that particular item. I miss this feature :'(

Lacks incentive. There is no trophy room from my knowledge. The final dungeon that is meant to be like the sharance maze/rune prana isn't that hard to beat for skilled players and is only 20 floors. After you beat the main story and this dungeon there's not much else to do really.

Request Board. Unlike in rf4, you need to make sure you have accepted requests before you complete them or else it will not count. Previously, you could complete all sorts of tasks and Eliza would still recognize your work even if you accept their request after the fact. ie, shipping goods, harvesting crops, etc. So make sure you don't harvest your special crops before accepting the request it's for!

Return of the "Loli" Dragons... Yeah you read that right. We got more dragons in children's(???) bodies with skimpy clothes. I don't know anymore????¿¿¿

Can't marry the Milfs or Dilfs. Tragic.

Still no homo. Grow up Marvelous.

Reverse Proposal? Reverse Uno card-- Laid low by the patriarchy. You now have to buy the double bed and craft an engagement ring to propose to your man if you're playing as Alice. Marvelous this isn't what we meant when we said we wanted equal rightsssssss This can be seen as a pro if you're a softhearted babey who doesn't like rejecting bachelors' proposals because you feel bad :'( But this is a con for me because I don't want to spend money and materials on a double bed dammit!!!

Misc. Still can't stack dishes or fish. There's no green elemental fairy???All the other elemental ones are there except the green one? why??? Still can't tame the giant Wooly. Some bosses that have insanely awesome designs cannot be tamed and makes me wanna eat glass.

Let's talk about Love~

Relationships. We want them. And half of us only play these games for them. I've only played as the female heroine so far but I'll be updating this review as soon as I finish with the bachelorettes as the male hero.

Confessions

As usual, we must raise the love points of our beloved to 7 hearts before we can attempt to date them. However unlike in rf4, if you fail at a confession once, you will need to raise the LP up an entire level before you can try again with any chance of success. It's imperative you save before attempting a confession now.

Love Events

Each love interest has two love events that must be seen before you can date them. They're reminiscent of older game's style but I felt they could have been a biiiit more interactive or so? Or involved the town a bit more for some of them.

Dating

Once you get your honey to be your bf/gf, you get to choose the nicknames as usual. Then you can go on dates. The first three (non-festival) dates are actually events. You need to see all three events to get married.

Marriage Event

The final event you need to clear before you can marry your sweetie. In my honest opinion, so far for the boys, these events were rather disappointing. They lacked the drama and angst that sort of 'test' the love between the two when compared to rf4. Also this is a huge con for me personally and a minor spoiler but there are no special cutscenes at the end of the marriage event like in rf4. Instead, the cutscene takes place during your actual wedding. I was saddened by this because it took away the depth from the marriage events and the actual character? As it is just a cut and paste type of thing instead of an original cutscene for each person. They lack individualism this way. Also it kinda felt like a way for devs to avoid gay relationships and cut corners :^/....sus.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...

Children!!!!!! This is actually one of the coolest additions in the game. Just like in rf3, you can have up to 3 children again! Your first child will resemble you, and you will have the option to choose its gender as well as its personality. There are 6 different children, (3 boys and 3 girls), all with different hairstyles, mannerisms, and seiyuus. Your answers will determine which child you get. A year after your first child is born, you will get the option to have a second child. You'll end up with twins, both resembling your partner. You won't get to choose the genders (it will be a boy and girl) but you will get to choose the personalities once more. The children all have canon names too and each kid is incredibly cute. And of course, you're still able to take your kid with you in your party~ ...Though you can only take one kid with you at a time.

So is RF5 good?

Yeah it's a fun game! My theory is that Marvelous forced the devs to release the game earlier than they were ready for, and that's why it's so lacking. But that doesn't mean it's not worth playing! I'd rate it 3.5/5 stars hehe. Not nearly as good as RF4 (full stop 5/5), or RF3 (4/5) but enjoyable nonetheless. I wouldn't recommend it as a first game to play from the series for newcomers though, I feel it's best for vets who can overlook all the cons thanks to loyalty and nostalgia. By the time it’s released in the West, the bugs should all be dealt with too.

So! Definitely buy this game! We want the series to continue and we want RF6 to be better than this--and hopefully Marvelous will make sure of that next time. If you're not a picky person I think you'll enjoy rf5 a lot. If you're like me and have high standards then, well, still pick it up and let it run its course. Then dust off rf4sp and cleanse your gaming palette >;^)

#rune factory 5 #rf5 spoilers #rune factory #rf5 #spoilers #review #rune factory 5 spoilers

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letteredlettered · 3 years ago

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Hi! I love your work and wish you all the best. I made my first fandom friend last year and I felt that at some point, we were really close - having in-depth conversations on a variety of topics (philosophy, movies we’d both watched and dissect what happened, share intimate personal details about our family backgrounds and dynamics, story ideas) while keeping our names and identities pretty vague. We’d chat online (through texts) a few hours a week and rarely did a span of a few days (1/2)

(2/2) go by without some message being sent. We’d share little pictures of places we’d go to (without any identifying features so generally just really pretty nature shots) and stuff like that. I always really looked forward to our conversations, and the stuff that we would learn together through our discussions with one another - different aspects of topic that weren’t as obvious before, different points of view, etc. In the past few months we’ve texted less (a little something every few days

(3/?) few days and the texts have gotten less frequent. It’s from no lack of interest on my part because I am very happy to converse with this friend. And then a few weeks ago, they’ve stopped texting to me entirely, although our shared social media platform makes it very obvious that they have been online a lot of times. Basically —> I’ve been ghosted.

The rest of this ask is under a cut, because it's long. I reproduced the ask in its entirety and then answered. It's about someone being ghosted and how they feel about that. I didn't answer privately because they didn't request it, and you can't answer anonymous asks privately.

(4/?) and of course it is entirely in their right to interact with whomever they wish, so I’m happy that they are taking care to spend time in a way that feels more meaningful to them and with people that they share a closer bond with. But I also feel like I’ve lost something special (I should mention that I texted them three messages over the course of the few weeks, so I’m pretty sure this is intentional. I’m not going to send any more because I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable)

(5/?) But i do feel sad because I did really care about the discussions we’ve had and my friend themself, even though we never revealed a lot of identifying details. Personally my anonymity made me a lot more candid and open to sharing thoughts that I may not in any other context (for ex: my questioning over my sexuality, which I had never and continued not to have said anything about to anyone)

And perhaps I shouldn’t have felt so emotionally invested, but that’s only because I know the state of our friendship now (and have more of a sense of their investment in it) to evaluate it that way, retrospectively. I really did appreciate this friend and feel a bit down about it, so I was wondering if you had any similar fandom friendship stories or any other thoughts?

Thank you, by the way, for reading such a long long ask. I felt like confessing this to you because I really love the interpretations and emotions you convey through the stories I’ve read and the meta writing thoughts you’ve mentioned in this tumblr, and so I respect your opinion. Anyway, please feel free not to respond (whatever is most comfortable) and thank you again

I'm really sorry that this happened to you. I can't say I have any similar fandom friendship stories, but that doesn't mean I can't deeply sympathize. I do know what it's like to lose a friend, and it sounds to me like you either lost one or feel like you lost one, which is the same thing. I know that's a really hard experience, and the hardest part for me has always been wondering what happened. I know this is really hard, and you have a right to be upset and feel badly. You also had a right to be emotionally invested--online friendships are just as real and true as other friendships, and sometimes even more intense because they involve only communication, rather than a lot of outward trappings. I'm sorry again for what you're going through.

You asked if I have other thoughts, so I suppose now it's time to confess that I don't really have similar fandom friendship stories because I am typically the one who ghosts people. I'm not proud of this. While I'd like to tell you a few things about why it happens or how it feels for me, it's not at all meant as a defense for what that person did to you. It's not at all meant to trivialize or negate the loss you have experienced. But maybe, by sharing why someone might act that way, it can at least help you work through what happened and/or process.

I really struggle with keeping up relationships. I think it's one of the main hardships of my life, and one of my largest sources of anxiety and guilt. I can't say I enjoy people on the whole, but there are quite a few individuals I like, and a subset of those individuals are people I love dearly and want to keep in my life. But I can't say I miss those people. I can't say I find myself deeply desiring their company. In fact, I can't say I ever desire to be around anyone. I literally never feel lonely. I literally never feel bored. I am my best company and entertainment.

But I learned quite early on in life that though I never wanted to be around anyone, I needed to be around people. When I spend too much time on my own, I grow anxious and depressed. This anxiety and depression doesn't make me want to be around people--quite the opposite. It makes me want to be around people even less. People, and socializing with people, starts to seem like more and more of an effort.

The pandemic was particularly hard for me because I enjoyed it so much. It was the perfect excuse never to see anyone, never to do anything, and I have spiraled these last two years into a fairly deep pit. And even though I knew this about myself--I knew how damaging it was for me to be alone too much--I was still surprised when over the last two months, when I finally started to go a lot of places and do a lot of things in public, I finally started to care about my life again in a way I just couldn't before. And note that caring about my life didn't at all mean I suddenly wanted to hang out with people; I just finally started wanting things for myself, to do things and plan things and build things. I was a sudden font of creativity when before nothing seemed worth the effort.

So when I say I want people in my life, I mean that I need them to stay sane. And since I have to be around people to be sane, I might as well be around the people I really enjoy--because I do enjoy people's company; I just never desire it. When I'm with people I like and love, I get these happy bursts of contentment. I'm a lot more likely than most people I know to suddenly announce, "I love you," and "I really like you," and "I'm really glad we're friends" at random times, I think because I always feel surprised. I feel surprised when I'm with people, because I almost feel like I don't or can't love when I'm alone, like people are distant and removed, objects that just don't impact my life that much. But they do, and I have to remember that. I have to remember, because my feelings won't remind me.

So it's a real struggle to maintain relationships when literally none of the impulses are there--I don't miss my friends. I don't suddenly wish I was with them. I do think about them all the time, but it never really occurs to me to reach out to them, to call or text or email or ask to hang, because their company never feels necessary or even desired. I respond to their texts and emails and calls and requests out of a sense of responsibility, the responsibility I have to maintain relationships, so people can understand that I love them and want to be with them, even though it's a struggle for me to feel that way unless I'm with them. And I have to remind myself of this responsibility, of this necessity. I have to remind myself that I do love, quite intensely, that I would be sad to lose someone I love, and that in order to keep people I love, some obligations are required, and those obligations will ultimately make me feel good too, even if I never think to want them.

Okay, so that's me. Then there's fandom, which is different. I have never had to work to be interested in fictional characters and fictional worlds. Things that are not actual or concrete have always interested me more than the real world; I've always preferred thinking about things to the things themselves. I'm not sure it's the healthiest way to live, and yet it feels very deep and intrinsic to who I am, and I'm not really sure I want to change it. I do think I can work on noticing and loving both my body and the real world around me--I think my girlfriend really helps me do that, which is amazing. But my interest in fictional things means I never have to work to stay engaged when I am immersed in a fandom. It feels really natural to me.

I don't know why, but for some reason, I've never been able to maintain interest in a fandom for more than a few years. There are some fandoms I return to over and over--HP being a huge one, but Jane Austen, Star Wars, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer are a few others. Whether I'm getting invested for the first time or re-invested, however, the interest really only lasts maybe 2 months to 2 years.

The result is that I could get very invested in a fandom, which would include making lots of fandom connections or even friends. While the impulse to connect with these people is fandom-related, I'm also intensely interested in them as people. I remain so after my interest in the fandom has faded--but sadly, the impulse to keep reaching out, or to reply to messages, fades with the fandom. It's not because I like them less, now; I just don't have that other force driving me. It gets harder and harder to reply. It gets harder and harder to explain that I am a freak who can't maintain normal human friendships. (I understand I'm not a freak, but this makes me feel like one.) It gets harder and harder to deal with the guilt, and letting someone down. It gets easier to just walk away from the friendship entirely, because the struggle to maintain it is so nerve-wracking and difficult.

This happens even sometimes when I have not lost interest in the fandom, or when the initial connection is not driven by being in the same fandom at the same time--I made several good friends through HP fandom even in pockets of time when I wasn't particularly obsessed with HP, for instance. But the fact that we have fandom in common really drives some of the initial interactions and excitement, and makes it feel easy to strike up a friendship. Then it becomes hard again, and I fail.

The worst part is yes, they can see me if I go online. But being online can be both a solitary experience and a communal one, and sometimes I am here to be by myself, and sometimes I am here to talk to people I like. More often it's the former--even doing things like answering asks or talking on message boards feels solitary, because it's talking to strangers, which means I have no real personal stake in the matter. Just because you see that your friend is active online doesn't mean that the friendship meant more to you than it did to them.

Again, I'm not making excuses. I've worked on this and gotten much better over time. These days, when I really hit it off with someone, I generally warn them that I'm not good at emailing or staying in touch, and that if I don't reply it's not because I don't like them. I let them know that most people who remain friends with me do so because they are persistent and don't get too discouraged if I don't reply several times in a row. And I'm lucky--I have friends who are willing to email me over and over, over the course of several months. I have a friend I haven't talked to in two years who still just occasionally leaves me voicemails, saying she knows I only make rare appearances, but she's still my friend and still wants to hang out whenever I'm ready. These are the friends I can have, people who are willing to do this, and I'm deeply grateful that anyone loves me enough to be patient with me, because I find this whole situation truly soul-crushing.

The other thing I will say is that yes, I have also slipped out of touch with people because they were making me unhappy, or I didn't like them as much as they liked me. Some I ghosted because I stated my boundaries and they still broke them, so telling them I didn't want to be friends anymore didn't really seem effective, given that they hadn't listened to my other requests. But some I ghosted because I didn't feel the need to explain, and they never asked.

I can't really offer advice, but if the person who ghosted you is anything like me, it would help to wait a month or two, and then message again, and say something like, "Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you. Even though we don't talk anymore, I wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and hope you're doing well." That kind of message feels like forgiveness to someone like me, who gets really wrapped up in the idea that I'm a terrible person who doesn't deserve friendship because sometimes I can't answer emails. Especially getting it a few months later really helps me move past the guilt that was killing me for so long.

That said, I would never want anyone to send that message to me if they would feel horrible if I still didn't reply to it, because I might not. Sometimes, I just can't. But anyway, what I'm trying to say is that it's entirely possible someone backed off because they just didn't want to pursue the friendship with you any longer, but it's also possible they're just a little fucked up in the way I'm a little fucked up, in which case, it's nice to hear a while later that someone still cares.

I hope this makes sense and doesn't put any additional pressure on you in any way. I'm really sorry about what happened to you, and thank you for sharing. I'm sure many people can identify with a story like yours--and I'm also sure many people can identify with a story like mine. I wish you all the best.

#communication #internet friends #fandom friends #ghosting

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