#and jeans sig weapon

[coffinkissez]

why do genshin fans get so pissy when u mention hsr is a better game for ftps 😭😭

[rubys-domain]

yeah, i'm definitely not gonna get lyney early at this point. i just hope i win the 50/50

[versatileginger]

HIDDEN | CHAPTER 4

Billy Russo x OC (Ava) 

Warnings: Not canon, violence, weapons, stalking (not MMC), murder, everything you'd find in The Punisher universe, no betrayal. 

Summary: Billy meets someone that piques his interest. Did he mention she carries a knife?

A/N: Leading up to halloween everyone. I'm excited. Still open for recommendations by the way! Here's chapter 4 for ya.

Ava had been eagerly anticipating Billy's visit all day. She spent the afternoon meticulously preparing her home for his arrival, as that's just the way she liked to do things. The soft glow of her dimmed, warm-toned lights filled the room, casting a cozy and inviting ambiance.

As the clock's hands ticked closer to eight o'clock, Ava put the finishing touches on her appearance. Her hair cascaded in loose waves down her shoulders, and she added just a touch of makeup to enhance her natural features. Most importantly, she aimed for comfort, allowing herself to move freely without restrictions. So, she opted for cargo jeans and a top that was neither too loose nor too tight, giving her the flexibility to sit as she pleased.

Precisely at eight o'clock, the doorbell chimed, and Ava's heart skipped a beat. She hurried to the door and greeted Billy with a warm smile. "Hey there! Come on in," she said, ushering him inside.

Billy stepped into her cozy living room, taking in the inviting atmosphere. Ava led him to the living room sofa and asked, "What would you like to drink?"

"Surprise me," Billy replied with a grin, putting his bag down next to the couch.

As Ava poured a glass of red wine for herself and selected a cold beer for Billy, Billy looked around at all the games she had stationed below her TV. He noticed that the shelf was mostly dominated by first- person shooters, which definitely added to her already interesting persona. With a mischievous twinkle in his eye, Billy proposed a game. "How about a shooter?

Ava raised an eyebrow, intrigued by the proposition. "You sure you’re up for it Russo?"

Billy grinned as he leaned closer, bumping her shoulder and giving her a wink.

Ava's fingers danced skillfully on her controller, and her character dashed forward, dodging enemy fire and seeking cover behind a ruined building. Billy's character followed closely, his movements smooth and calculated. As they made their way through the virtual warzone, taking down opponents one by one, Ava couldn't help but admire Billy's gameplay. He moved with an effortless grace, his reflexes lightning-fast, and it seemed like he was always one step ahead of the enemy.

Billy took out an opponent with a perfectly aimed headshot. "Nice one," she exclaimed, a hint of admiration in her voice.

Billy responded with a quick acknowledging smile before returning his focus to the game. They continued to press forward, coordinating their movements, and taking out enemies with precision. The teamwork between them was flawless, and their characters made it through wave after wave of adversaries.

Amidst the chaos, Ava couldn't help but notice how calm and collected Billy remained. He didn't panic under the pressure, always seeming in control and his accuracy was on point. His cool demeanor was oddly attractive to her, and she found herself stealing glances at him from the corner of her eye.

As the game progressed, their characters faced tougher challenges, but their synergy only grew stronger. Ava leaned in closer to the screen, her excitement evident in her voice, "You're really good at this, Russo."

Billy's character took down another enemy with a well-placed grenade, then turned to Ava with a mischievous grin. "I've had some practice," he replied, his eyes briefly locking with hers before returning to the game.

They pushed through one more intense wave, fighting off enemies with relentless determination. But as they reached a particularly difficult part of the game, their luck ran out. A hail of bullets rained down on their characters, and they were both taken out simultaneously.

Ava sighed in mock disappointment. "Well, that was a good run while it lasted."

Billy's character respawned, and he chuckled, "It was. We make a pretty great team, don't we?"

Ava couldn’t help but smile, they did indeed.

"You want another drink?" Ava asked him.

After a short silence, she looked at the couch where Billy no longer was. At the same time, she noticed his presence behind her as he spoke.

Putting her wine glass on the counter, he replied, "Yes, please." His warm breath tickled against her ear.

Returning to the couch, Billy asked, "You wanna go head to head this time? I'm dying to find out just how good you are at this."

Ava turned to face him, a playful glint in her eye matching the challenge in his tone. "Oh, you're on, Billy. Prepare to be impressed."

As the game began, Ava and Billy were on opposite teams, and the tension in the room grew palpable. They clashed fiercely, exchanging shots and trying to outmaneuver each other. The virtual bullets flew, and their characters moved with precision.

Minutes turned into what felt like hours as they dueled relentlessly. Both were skilled gamers, and neither was giving an inch. Ava knew she had to bring her A-game to defeat Billy, who was proving to be a formidable opponent.

The climax of the match arrived, and Ava found a vantage point to take her shot. She aimed carefully and fired. Her shot hit true, and Billy's character fell.

The victory screen declared Ava the winner, and she couldn't help but smile as she looked at Billy.

"Gotcha," she said, with a triumphant tone.

Billy laughed, a mix of admiration and good-natured competitiveness in his voice. "You're quick, Ava. Well played. How about we make things a bit interesting for the next round? Put a little healthy pressure behind it.’’

Ava raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Interesting in what way?"

Billy leaned in a bit closer, his voice lowering to a conspiratorial tone. "How about a little wager?

Ava chuckled, accepting the challenge with a smile. "You're on. When I win, I want a tour of Anvil, everything you can show me. I'm curious to see how it all works."

"Alright," Billy agreed. "But when I win... I want to take you on a date."

Ava couldn't help but take a flirty and playful jab at Billy's proposition. "A date, huh? I don't know, Billy, I might have to add something else to my bet to make it even."

Billy raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by her challenge. "Oh, really? What do you propose?"

Ava leaned in, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Well, if I win, you not only give me that tour of Anvil, but you also have to show me some of your impressive fighting tricks. Deal?"

Billy chuckled, his competitive spirit undaunted. "You drive a hard bargain, Ava. Deal. But don't think you're going to win again.’’

The game began, and this time, Billy's performance was nothing short of extraordinary. His reflexes were faster, his aim was dead-on, and he seemed to know the virtual battlefield like the back of his hand. Wave after wave, he dominated the match, leaving Ava struggling to keep up.

As the game came to a close, the victory screen declared Billy the winner. Ava looked at him in disbelief, realizing that he had been holding back in the first round.

Ava couldn't help but shake her head in disbelief. "You were definitely holdin' back in the first game, weren't you, Russo?"

He grinned, his response a mix of pride and amusement. "Maybe just a little. Gotta keep you on your toes, right?" As he leaned back, he continued, "And I had to make sure I could take you on that date, sweetheart."

As they got up to fetch another round of drinks to celebrate Billy's victory, he noticed something peculiar in Ava's fruit bowl. It was a small, folded piece of paper, tucked beneath an apple. He picked it up, curiosity piqued, looking at Ava for silent permission.

Indicating that he could read it, she started explaining, "I found a bouquet in front of my door after our rendezvous at the bar. Might have been a prank, or maybe someone left it on the wrong doorstep."

Billy raised an eyebrow, concern etching across his features. "Have you noticed anythin' else suspicious recently?"

Ava thought for a moment before shaking her head. "No, not really."

Billy couldn't help but adopt a protective tone. "Well, how about this? To ease my mind, why don't you come train with me sometime, even if it's just for fun?" He added with a flirty demeanor, "I get to show you some tricks after all."

Ava smiled at his suggestion. "Sure, that sounds like a great idea."

As Ava playfully tried to snatch the note from Billy's hand. In a split second, he instinctively grabbed her wrist, preventing her from snatching the paper. She threw him a mischievous smile, their eyes locking in a playful exchange. Not one to be outdone, she quickly gave him a playful poke in the ribs. A chuckle escaped from Billy as her touch tickled him, and he playfully surrendered, letting go of her wrist.

Deciding to put the note back where he found it, Billy made a mental note of Ava's agility. They continued to chat and enjoy each other's company. Ava asked, "Are you hungry? Should we order some pizza?"

Billy's stomach growled in response, and he nodded with a grin. "Pizza sounds perfect.’’

As they decided on their pizza order, Ava grabbed her phone and dialed the local pizzeria. After a quick conversation, she confirmed their order and hung up.

"Great, it'll be here in about 30 minutes," she announced, placing the phone back on the table.

With their order placed, Ava took their empty dishes to the kitchen and returned with two fresh drinks. They continued chatting, sipping on their drinks and enjoying the anticipation of their meal.

When the doorbell rang, signaling the pizza's arrival, Ava got up and headed for the door. She greeted the delivery person and handled the payment. With the warm pizza box in hand, she returned to the living room.

As she opened the box and noticed the pizza wasn't cut thoroughly, Ava acted on instinct. Without a moment's hesitation, she reached into her boot and drew a small, sharp knife.

While she focused on slicing the pizza, she sensed Billy's gaze on her. When she looked up, she found him raising an eyebrow, an expression of surprise mixed with amusement on his face. "Carrying a knife in your boot as well, huh?" he remarked, his voice tinged with humor.

Ava couldn't help but smile mischievously. "Makes you wonder what else I have on my body, doesn't it Russo?"

Billy nearly choked on his drink, caught off guard by her flirty remark.

This woman will be the death of him.

MAIN MASTERLIST HIDDEN MASTERLIST CHAPTER 5

[cassieuncaged]

Nyx Mortal Kombat Mechanics & Bio

Based on the MK character wiki pages. More beneath the cut.

About Nyx:

Born Rachel Rogers, she grew up in Colorado to a mother and father though her father died of cancer shortly after her younger brother was born.

Her mother struggled to make ends meet and worked multiple jobs to support her family. Rachel started selling drugs to help make more money. She was often arrested by local authorities and spent a lot of time in juvie.

Instead of going to college after high school, she enlisted in the military before assigned to special ops. She sent money home to her family.

After being discharged, Rachel found a hard time making ends meet and relocated to Los Angeles as began working for different underground crime syndicates to make ends meet.

Not much is known about her at this time other than she began working with Kano as a hired gun. She wasn't a member of the Black Dragon but spent most her time at the club and with other members.

She also had a short term casual relationship with Kabal.

Kano keeps her at his beck and call by black mailing her with her past, being the person who gave her tabula rasa. Because of this, Nyx feels like she has to submit to her boss.

Paths cross and she eventually meets General Sonya Blade of the Special Forces. Officially betraying the Black Dragon for immunity, Nyx hands over intel she's acquired over the years in an attempt to clear her name.

This puts Kano on the warpath who eventually enlists help from Outworld to begin a war with the Special Forces. Nyx's betrayal isn't the inciting factor but is more of the straw that finally broke the camel's back.

Appearance:

Has pale skin and has been compared to an uncooked shrimp by both Johnny and Cassie Cage. However, Nyx takes this in stride as she likes her ivory complection.

She has aquamarine eyes though she wears black, purple, and red contacts to add to a the mystique around her entire character. She also wears smoky eye shadow, black lipstick, and sports two piercings (one in her left eyebrow and a septum) as well as several on either ear (3 on each lobe, daith, helix, and industrial).

Skins:

Original - black leather pants, black combat boots, fingerless gloves, a plain black, white or red t-shirt under a black leather jacket decorated with goth band buttons (Sisters of Mercy, The Cure, Joy Division, etc.), a plain choker, a studded mask covering the bottom of her her face, half black/half white hair that falls halfway down her back.

Moshing - ripped black jeans over fishnet tights, checkered creepers, hair down accept for two small space buns on either side, all make-up and piercings on, long sleeved fishnet top covered by an oversized band tee (most likely Bauhaus or Joy Division) and a choker with an o ring.

Red Carpet -hair down, makeup but no piercings, hair down, wears long black velvet evening gown with one slit up the side with matching spike heels that are used as a special finishing weapon.

Powers & Abilities:

Nyx may not possess any supernatural abilities, but she does both military and underground street fighting training. She prefers using weapons from a distance as compared to hand to hand combat since she doesn't like blood (which makes any battles between her and Skarlet very interesting).

But she's practiced both Judo and Karate since high school before integrating Krav Maga into her regimen. Nyx is very elusive and can move in credibly fast which makes her practically untouchable. Kano used her as a hired gun for these reasons as her agility mixed with the cover of night (i.e. her code name) made her chances of escaping undetected that much higher.

Fighting Styles:

Krav Maga

Karate

Judo

Thrown Weapons

Tactical

Weapons:

Sig MPX K with a silencer

Ducati Panigale Matte Purple

flat kunai style throwing knives

herself

Fatalities:

Road Kill - Uses her Ducati to eviscerate her opponent's face with the front tire. Can be any distance from opponent to trigger.

Straight to the Heart - Throwing knife to the chest, far distance.

In My Sights - Uses her Sig with silencer and scope attachments from a far distance to effectively

Single White Female (special) - Similar to Straight to the Heart. Removes her black Stiletto before jabbing into her opponent's eye. Mid to close distance. Must be in Red Carpet skin.

Friendship:

'You're probably wondering how I got here' followed by a record scratch. Cut to Nyx playing The Cure on a record player before collapsing into a bean bag chair before inviting her competitor to join her.

Trivia:

has a white ferret named Ghost

practices yoga

secretly loves the color pink which Cassie mercilessly teases her about

despises going to Johnny's movie premieres but attempts to be supportive for her wife

enjoys vintage video games (specifically Dos Box games from when she was a kid) Her favorite was Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers

Was never able reunite with her mother after going underground. Eventually finds her younger brother Noah with whom she has a close relationship

Secretly misses her friends at the Black Dragon. She really only hangs out with Cassie and Jacqui on base which gets kind of lonely.

Never rides her Ducati without a helmet

favorite bands are Joy Division, Bauhaus and The Cure.

Has a collection of vinyl records. Her favorite is Bela Lugosi's Dead

Doesn't care for horror movies. Her genre of choice is neo noirs, likely for the vaporwave aesthetic.

Recovering alcoholic

Johnny Cage Announcer Names:

Daughter in Law from Hell

Elvira

[modernsapphicism]

kept pulling bc i wanted to raise my pity and/or get jean cons but hoyo said here, we'll give you c3 arlecchino to go with her sig weapon instead

[or-something-better]

August 21, 2022

Dean

in the armory with Sam and Mary check these out mom opening up the secret door to a lot of the old secret stash of weapons from the men of letters

Patience

sitting at the table with some of the other girls

Sam

The Men of Letters had an extensive collection of just about everything you can think of. No reason weapons should be any different.

Ellen

talking over cases with Charlie and Patience hey did you guys see this one. Maybe a zombie... oops wait never mind. Just tide pods again. Smh

Charlie

sitting at the table with my laptop not a lot of anything right now… bath salts… stupid kids and pranks

Mary

looks at the weapons this is quite a collection

Dean

Then there's this one. One of the most badass pieces I’ve found so far pulling a gun off the rack but we haven’t figured it out yet or found anything on it

Mary

It looks like something your grandpa used

Patience

Time pods AGAIN

Sam

It's old for sure, but so far still a mystery

Alex

Walk in with Henry hey guys guess what

Mary

There might be something in his journal

Dean

Pretty sure its older than grandpa. We've been through his journal alot

Mary

Probably. But it looks like something he had

Charlie

sighs anything in that newspaper??

Ellen

Hey Alex! What are yall up to?

Patience

looking at Alex what s up

Henry

puts my bags on the table along with a flyer there's this new dance club I even grab the flyer too

Dean

No I know which one your talking about and that one wasn’t to this capacity

Charlie

I smile as Alex and Henry come in what?

Alex

There is a new dance club we should go there

Sam

Slaps Dean on the shoulder As you can see, Dean is in his element right here

Henry

passes the flyer over I grabbed the flyer

Mary

I agree

Patience

laughing at the mention of a new night club really

Ellen

I shoot glance at Patience ooh really?

Charlie

I pick up the flyer and look around at the others what do you say? Not much else happening?

Alex

Yep Smiles giggle

Dean

looks at Sam yeah what dont I know? Just wish we could figure this bad boy out

Mary

Sure

Patience

I'm game

Patience

Maybe I can dance some of this fat away

Ellen

Yeah. Sure. I’m bringing my gun. grabs my sig saur and tucks it in my jeans

Dean

Lets head back to the map room i think the others are trying to find something to do heads back to the map room seeing everyone hey guys! What's up?

Charlie

I think we could use a night off…. I’m gonna go get ready! heads off to my room to change

Sam

A night off?

Mary

Okay.

Patience

I'm going to wear my new jeans

Charlie

Henry found a club pausing on my way to my room everything is quiet… so why not?

Dean

What about a night off?

Sam

Some new Club Henry found

Dean

Cool why not.  Let’s go get ready head to my room using my DNA to open the door

Sam

You might be able to persuade me to tag along, because I enjoy spending time with you guys… but there’s no way I’m going to go dancing. Just isn’t my thing.

Henry

I don't know what to wear though. I had never been to a club before  fiddles with my sleeves

Ellen

in the kitchen pouring myself a whiskey club huh. I say to myself this will be great for the youngins

Dean

run upstairs searching through my closet for the perfect outfit. I can join ya sam I doubt I will be doing any dancing either but it still sounds fun!

Patience

heading to my room to shower and change

Dean

find my outfit grabbing a shower and spraying some cologne I head back out to the group

Mary

looks in my room but doesn't have any nice dresses

Henry

decides to just wear my normal clothes

Crowley

I sit in a random office sipping Craig and glancing over at Lucifer Things seem to be going very well Lucifer. perhaps sharing wasn't an awful idea.

Lucifer

Told you it wouldn't. Things look pretty great actually. I kick my feet up onto the table

Ruby

Pushing myself up with my hands, wincing at the bandaged left one, I grab a file and take it over to Crowley and Lucifer, tossing it on the table between  them. It's folded open to show the latest figures.

Mary

goes back to the group after my shower

Crowley

I arch a brow and shove the feet off to annoy him What did you do to your arm Ruby? I open the file and whistle in surprise These numbers are better than I've ever seen them, even after becoming King. The Karen initiative has really been helping.

Lucifer

I scowl at Crowley, tempted to lash out for a second. But I reign in my temper and just snatch the paper right out of his hands Of course it has- I told you it would. I smirk Oh boy... do I have a lot to teach you. Besides, I've got a lot of lost time to make up for. Ruby? Be a doll and uh... Go do some more advertising for us huh? We've got some business to attend to.

Ruby

Thinking to myself it's a very good thing neither of them can read my mind, I thankfully take my leave of them.

Crowley

I scoff and snatch the paper back so I can keep reading You are a menace

Lucifer

Menace to you, or society? You know what. I'll take both.

Crowley

Being a menace to society is useful to us. Now, what do you have for us?

Lucifer

Oh you're gonna love this one... So.. picture this....

Sam

I change into a clean pair of jeans and a shirt that’s actually a shirt-shirt, not just my usual worn flannel. This one has buttons even! Coming out of my room, it’s funny to me to see all the dressing up that’s gone on. Wow, you guys all clean up really good.

Mary

walks out in a dress I found

Patience

walking back to where everyone is at showing off my new jeans

Charlie

heading back to the main room I’ve put on a short black skirt and green top I could say the same for you Sammy!

Alex

Finishing get ready and red dress and went downstairs and meet the team in main room

Charlie

But if we’re going dancing I need some food first…

Ellen

coming out of the kitchen with my whiskey to the others

Henry

I didn't know what to wear I don't even own anything nice looking  fiddle with my hoodie sleeves so I’m just going to wear my everyday clothed

Sam

What, this old thing? said with my best Southern Accent and a chuckle

Dean

wearing a button down with the top 3 buttons undone and a nice pair of jeans. Willing to do the shirt but sure as hell not the dress pants if I dont have to we ready? Everyone looks good

Alex

Thank you Dean

Sam

You driving tonight?

Ellen

Where do you wanna eat Charlie?

Charlie

We can take my car too! And I think maybe just something quick at the drive thru Ellen I haven’t had a night out in forever!

Dean

Of course but this isn’t how we normally do things so this is gonna make for an interesting night I think

Sam

We can take my car too, I’ll be happy to drive.

Mary

walks into the room

Patience

As long as I can get a salad

Alex

I can’t wait I am excited Walking to Charlie

Ellen

Sounds good.

Dean

Where we going?

Charlie

So who’s with me? holding up my keys

Henry

I can go with Sam  gets up and hands dean the flyer here's the address

Dean

Who’s riding with me?

Sam

I'll just follow after you

Mary

I'll go with you Dean

Sam

Sure Henry, come on... anyone else?

Ellen

I'll ride with Charlie

Dean

Ok anyone else riding with me?

Charlie

Shotgun is yours grins

Alex

I with you Smiles

Ellen

smiles back great

Alex

Get in Charlie car back seat

Patience

Can I ride to Charlie

Dean

Ok guess just me and mom

Charlie

heading out to the car I start it and wait for Dean to lead the way sure pay! Still got one more seat for you!

Sam

Out at the Charger, I climb in and start it up.

Mary

goes to the car with Dean

Dean

I dont know where yall wanna eat

Henry

gets in the front seat of Sam car

Dean

heading out to the impala

Patience

getting in the back of Charlie's car thank you

Sam

I smile over at Henry Always glad to have you as my copilot Henry

Mary

follows Dean that was your dad's car. Wasn't it?

Dean

start the impala waiting for Mary to get in you already knew that mom

Alex

I can’t wait to partyyyyyy!

Henry

It's more funer riding with you. You have better taste in music  buckles up and switches the music on

Mary

gets in I just was asking

Dean

But you already knew we had dads car

Charlie

the car running, I put it in gear and follow Dean and Sam to the club

Dean

head to the address of the club on the flyer

Sam

I agree with the music part I pull out and follow behind Dean, not really sure I know exactly where this club is.

Dean

I find the club looking at the building as I pull into the parking lot and park

Mary

What don't I know since I was just brought back

Sam

I park beside the Impala and chuckle Well, this is it. Hope you have fun out there tonight. When I get out of the car, I’m surprised to see Ruby across the street. Ruby?

Charlie

parking beside Sam I get out and look around while finishing my chicken nuggets

Ruby

I hang up one more sign and hearing my name called, I look over and see Sam! Shit! I leave quickly so he can't ask me anything!

Sam

I’m even more surprised when she looks over at me startled and then runs the other way. Ruby, wait! I follow after her wondering what the hell is going on.

Dean

get out of the car as I see Sam go after ruby

Ellen

getting out of Charlie’s car. Patience and I go up to see the flyer Ruby was posting and noticed it's the safe flyer that Henry and Alex brought back to the bunker for the club were going to. wonder what this about huh Patience? looking at Patience

Patience

looking up at Ellen with a puzzled look on my face what the hell

Mary

gets out of the car who is that he's going after

Charlie

watching Sam take off I turn to the group am I the only one that noticed the bandages on her hand?

Sam

I watched Ruby turn at the corner, but when I made it there myself, she was nowhere to be seen. I looked up and down both streets, still not understanding what was going on or why she felt she had to run from me. This was just really out of character for her. I walk back to join the others. I wasn’t able to find Ruby. Something just really feels wrong to me about this.

Dean

Nope I saw it wonder what the hell happened? Um that was Ruby you’ve met her too

Mary

Oh. She looked like she's hurt

Charlie

Well that seems strange… I’ve never known her to avoid you, Sam…

Henry

Ruby the demon working a real job?  looks at the flyer can monsters have normal jobs?

Sam

Yeah, me either. Gives Henry a stern look, but doesn't comment

Dean

What the hell is really going on…

Mary

looks at the flyer maybe this is why Points at the flyer

Charlie

I think we need to find out….

Sam

No idea Dean

Patience

I agree

Alex

Ruby good but she won’t hurt them

Dean

Definitely

Sam

Yeah, I’m for going back to the Bunker. Wasn’t interested in the club scene anyway.

Patience

thinking a vision sure would come in handy about now

Dean

How we gonna find anything out that way?

Henry

What was that look you just gave me? I just want one night to be normal  sighs and heads back to the car

Ellen

putting my arm around Henry I promise we'll give you a normal night kid. kinda happy we're not "clubbing" tonight

Mary

pulls the flyer and follows

Sam

Gets back in the car next to Henry You know Ruby's not a monster, right?

Dean

a little disappointed we arent clubbing tonight was hoping for a drink but get back in the car

Charlie

We won’t have any fun worrying about ruby… let’s go girls. getting back in the car

Ellen

getting back in the car with the other girls

Henry

Aren't demons monsters though?  buckles and closes my eyes for a nap

Mary

I'll get some beers out like a bartender at the bunker Dean.

Charlie

once everyone is in, I start the car and head back

Patience

getting back in the car

Sam

Sighs Yeah, I suppose most of them are... drives back to the Bunker

Mary

gets in the car

Crowley

Inside the bar I sit at a table of swanky business men watching them sight a contract while glancing surprised over at the piano. I'm honestly caught off guard by the Devil playing one. A Fiddle maybe, but not a piano.

Lucifer

My fingers fly over the piano keys, the sound of the music nearly magical. For a moment relaxing and enjoying myself-- it looks like plenty of the 'guests' are enjoying it too. I even hum along now and then. Ignoring Crowley doing what Crowley does best-- running his mouth

Ruby

Quickly heading inside to get lost in the crowd, I look around at the people getting drunk and high, having no idea what's in store for them. This isn't a bar, it's a soul collection pit! Heading over to Lucifer, I raise my voice and tell him Team Freewill is outside.

Lucifer

I almost can't believe my ears, and strike a horribly off key chord Damn it... What the hell?!

Crowley

I stand and walk over, holding the finished contact What do you mean those denim wrapped nightmares are on their way here?

Ruby

I try warning Lucifer about how smart the team is, but I see it falls on deaf ears and I pay the price.

Lucifer

I quickly strike out at Ruby, furious that they're coming to crash my party You completely underestimated who you teamed up with! Willingly or not-- unbelievable. Now I've got to clean up the mess... I need a moment to think... I storm off still seething

Crowley

I hold my hand out to help her up looking on edge He still underestimates them. If you want, I can try and help you find a way out of this whole mess.

Dean

pull up to the bunker and head inside and grab a beer before going to the map table and sitting kicking my feet up waiting for Sam so we can look for info on the club

Charlie

I pull into the bunker behind the boys and head inside- unable to take my mind off of ruby. What kind of trouble was she in that she couldn’t ask us for help… or wasn’t willing to risk us

Mary

goes inside and grabs a beer

Sam

I park just a few minutes behind the others.

Henry

slumps into the couch disappointed. Pulls out my daggers and flips them Can we have one night where it's not work

Sam

Back at the Bunker I’m feeling a little guilty about making a big deal about Ruby running off and ruining everyone’s fun night out. Maybe it really was nothing. After changing into a more comfortable set of old clothes, I sit down at the map table and open my laptop. It was time to do a little research into the new club in town.

Alex

Walk in and sit next to dean sigh

Charlie

heading inside I go straight to my laptop to research this new club

Patience

walks inside having a seat at the table

Alex

Yep but this is life what we all sign up for

Ellen

trying to reassure the 2 its ok guys. I promise you both that we'll have  non-working day soon.

Dean

Anything interesting Sammy? as I take a drink of my beer

Sam

Not so far

Charlie

having found the club website I point to the screen and read “a nightlife experience like none before”

Mary

It will be okay. We may have found work instead of fun. But we can have a fun day every now and then

Dean

Yeah bullshit! What could be so thrilling?

Sam

Pulling up the same page that Charlie was talking about, I read further into it. Guys, listen to this part of the ad here… “you’ll come out more successful, more wealthy or with whatever it is you desire most.” Sound familiar? It certainly did to me Damn it.

Charlie

Uh oh…. You don’t think….???

Dean

Sounds like their making deals

Henry

We shouldn't go in  overhearing from my spot

Sam

Slipping my phone out of my pocket, I try again to reach Ruby. The call goes to voice mail. Ruby.. call me back when you get this… please I end the call and sit back in the chair thinking a minute. Anyone else interested in going back with me to check that club out for ourselves?

Mary

I'm in

Ellen

Yeah we should.

Dean

I’m so in let’s go bust these bitches out and find out who’s making the deals

Patience

I'm in

Charlie

Kind of our duty now, isn’t it? Let me go put on some jeans…. heading to my room I change quickly and meet them back at the table

Alex

I am in Srand up and went go change and came back

Sam

This time before leaving I grab my go bag.

Charlie

grabbing my go bag and my keys let’s go

Henry

grabs my bag and gets into same car again Sams

Dean

grab my duffle and go outside and throw it in the car

Mary

gets my bag and follows

Ellen

follows the others to the cars

Patience

following the rest to the cars

Mary

goes to the Impala

Lucifer

Hopeful music will help calm me back down, I'm back at the piano soon enough playing again. The music gradually gets a little more upbeat, and I'm flashing charming grins left and right. Flirting comes pretty easily, and occasionally there's an interruption in the piano playing.

At one point, a tall brunette joins me on the piano bench, giggling and playing a few notes. I share a few notes and a few chuckles and send her back off giggling again. I sing alongside another, snagging her from her date with a smug expression and have a brief sing along. Keeping myself and the others occupied with drink and song

Crowley

I glance around the room and check that Lucifer is distracted before snagging Ruby to a backroom Well, this is Cozy.

Ruby

Following behind Crowley, I discreetly go to the storeroom behind the bar, hoping Lucifer is preoccupied enough.

Crowley

Alright, we need to get you out of this. Any ideas for escape?

Ruby

"We have to get out of here! How do you hide from the devil? We can't just walk out, he'd be on us in a minute!"

Crowley

Well at least you aren't stupid. I roll my eyes glancing back at the door. I wasn't actually hating this but did need to avoid being seen by the Winchesters.

Ruby

"Wait! There is a spell I learned long ago that would allow me to make a clone of myself, making someone else look like me! What if I did that for both of us? We could use a couple in the bar!"

Crowley

I smirk impressed My My. You're much smarter than you look.

Ruby

Giving him a scathing look, I start a list

Sam

Parked at the club once again, I get out of the car and lean against the car watching from across the street. Dean, notice anything odd about the line of people waiting to get inside?

Henry

gets out and looks around everyone seems desperate

Dean

park and get out yeah poor desperate junkies

Sam

Yeah, they don’t look like the usual club crowd.

Patience

standing outside the club looking for a way in

Charlie

walking up beside the boys I point out a young woman who looks like she is on her last legs they kind of seem…. Desperate…. Don’t you think?

Ellen

getting out of the car

Dean

Maybe we should go talk to these losers and find out what they are getting themselves into

Charlie

I’m going to see if I can help find a way in…. heading behind the bar

Mary

looks at some of the people they look like people who have nothing left in a sense

Sam

I agree  Crossing the street, I walk down the line as if I’m there to take a spot at the back.

Patience

talking with one girl but getting nowhere with this I move on to another

Henry

I will come and help you  follows Charlie  maybe there's a back door?

Alex

Good idea back door

Charlie

Usually is in these places… let’s hope we can find one unlocked….

Dean

walk with you

Alex

Agree

Sam

I stop a couple of times to try and start up a conversation with those waiting in line, with general questions like Have you been in line long? and Have you been here before? Without fail no one seemed interested in speaking to me at all, they just seemed uncomfortable and a couple actually turn or seemed to shy away from me.

Mary

talks to some people but gets nothing from any of them

Charlie

trying one of the windows first I find it’s barred and no way to remove them

Charlie

Henry check that window over there will you? The one to the basement

Patience

with Charlie Henry and Alex trying to find a way in

Ellen

heading to some people to start asking questions not getting anywhere with anyone I look down at Sam who doesn't seem to be having any luck either I shake my head at him.

Sam

I can see Dean and Ellen also trying to engage with a few of the people in line. When Dean looks over at me, I just shake my head ‘no’ to let him know I’d gotten a whole lotta nothing.

Henry

Ok  breaks off the wood on the window. Trying to open it but it's lock it's locked

Alex

Try to open door lock

Dean

try to talk to a few who seem resilient to talk to us i ask. Few questions not getting anything but they can’t wait to get inside. I look at Sam who shakes his head

Charlie

frustrated sigh  if only I had brought a tool kit!!

Ellen

walking up to Sam I see Dean coming as well maybe head to the back see if we see anything there?

Sam

Following along around the back of the building.

Dean

Fuck! heading back to Sam

Mary

remembers the flyer and looks at the back of it Sam, there's a clue who is the "host" on the flyer

Charlie

still checking windows with no luck

Dean

Let’s go heading around the back

Ellen

getting to back of the building we see the rest of the team

Alex

Found the door unlocked that was too easy Look over Charlie! Guys!

Sam

I see Alex find an unlocked door and reach over and touch Dean's arm. Doesn’t that seem too easy? When do we ever have that kind of luck?

Patience

gearing up I head to backup with the others after Dean

Mary

goes with the rest

Ellen

seems a little hinky I think to myself

Henry

looks at Alex someone must have forgotten to lock the door or their waiting for someone to get back

Dean

Well that’s a risk I’m willing to take opening the door i rush inside

Sam

Dean! As usual my brother just goes off half-cocked and without any kind of plan. I look at the others and just sort of throw my hands up in the air. Nothing we can do about it now, guess we’re going in. I check to make sure that my gun and demon blade a securely in my pockets, and then follow Rambo into the building.

Charlie

Dean! Wait!! deep sigh grabbing my gear  ready or not….

Mary

heads inside after him

Ellen

Dammit Dean! we go in after him

Alex

Walk inside follow

Henry

follows after everyone can dean ever think with his head for once?  sighs and hopes dean doesn't get us in a trap

Patience

curious as to what we're getting into here following the rest of the team

Crowley

I slip back into the store room holding a bag containing the last of what Ruby needs This better work. He WILL kill us.

Ruby

"Remember, they will only look like us. No powers, memories or anything, so we're going to have to move quickly before Lucifer notices we've left!" I let Crowley put the ingredients in as I call them off. "Sage, purselane, camomile, vervain, black pepper..."

Crowley

Well then you better hurry up I snark and pour in a little too much vervain.

Ruby

Once everything is ready, I light a match and toss it in, lighting everything up.

Charlie

all of the patrons in the club now look like Crowley and Ruby

Lucifer

I'm trying to enjoy myself, vibing to the music with a nice buzz going. Plenty of attention, plenty of women and even a few men flirting with me. My mood is sky-high as I grab a pretty blonde who'd been flirting with me by the waist. I lean in real close to kiss her on the cheek.... and all of a sudden I'm holding a doppleganger of Crowley?!?!

Immediately I shove the guest off of me and ignore the thud when she (?) hits the ground. Doesn't take a genius to see what's happening as the club is now full of Crowleys and Ruby’s, and I see red. Are you kidding m-- Worthless.. fucking.. DEMONS!!! I start snarling and shouting, enraged by the betrayal, and begin exploding clones and splattering the place with blood and viscera

Charlie

making my way through a dark hallway lined with doors, I let out the breath I was holding and whisper we have no idea what we are facing… but let’s check some doors…

Sam

Once inside I wasn’t expecting such a long dark hallway to nowhere. Both sides of the hall are lined with doors. Trying to be as quiet as possible, I walk up to a door on the right and open it slowly, only to find what looked like a janitors closet full of supplies. Nothing… I whisper to the others and keep going.

Dean

I head through the dark hall trying to find my way to the club as I open one door finding old gambling machines and casino stuff, I close it and open another door finding old stage equipment and close it and continue down the hall

Ellen

going down the dark corridor there's doors everywhere. I pull one open to check inside but there was is chained up vampire named Edward  Apparently Luci and crowley have made plans I think to myself nothing here. I tell the team

Patience

opening a door in this long dark hallway full of nothing but doors. I open one door after another not finding anything useful I'm not finding anything here what about the rest of you?

Charlie

checking the third one on the right I open it and find what looks like a brothel—slamming the door shut I hope no one noticed

Charlie

Nothing here!

Mary

looks around the hall finding a door. Opens it to find a broom nothing

Alex

Open door there kitchen and close door no

Dean

I walk farther ahead of the team finding a room full of torture devices and other things yeah NOPE Although some could be fun.....

Charlie

finally nearing the end of the hall I take one door and ask Henry to try the other

Henry

keeps walking till my gut feels the right door. Walks up to a door this feels right. Opens the door and finds ruby and everyone else guys

Ruby

Double checking the burned herbs, I see there was too much vervain! "Crowley you idiot! Do you know what you've done?!"  I hear Lucifer in the club!

Dean

close the door and continue further down

Charlie

opening my door I find a group of flying monkeys

Sam

Rushing back over to Henry, I’m really glad to see Ruby, but also not thrilled at the company she’s with.

Lucifer

Shouting at the top of my lungs through the whole damn place  ONE. FUCKING. JOB. YOU TWO HAD ONE JOB--DUMBASSES! I SWEAR TO... WHEN I FIND THE TWO OF YOU I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU, RESURRECT YOU, AND MURDER YOU AGAIN! RINSE AND FUCKING REPEAT!

Charlie

hearing ruby I turn around and run to the room

Sam

I can see what looks like fear in Ruby’s eyes, and that actually stops me cold for a second. Things have got to be pretty damn bad for a 700 year old demon to be afraid. Noticing the bandage on her hand, my shock turns to anger. What’s going on here Ruby? I turn my unhappiness towards Crowley hand and yell Someone better start talking pretty quickly here.

Mary

hears Henry did you find anything

Crowley

I shoot a side glance at Ruby. Were going to die and this is all her fault. Just had to bring Lucifer back and then double cross him.

Henry

I found the demons who is always the cause of trouble

Charlie

What’s going on here? giving Crowley a look

Mary

goes to him

Dean

stop when I hear the commotion behind me but at the same time still wanting to find the damn club

Ruby

You son of a bitch, and you know who your mother is!

Sam

What's going on?!!

Crowley

Son of a witch actually. But I'm not getting killed because you want to play both sides. The words are a hiss and I push pass her.

Ruby

Crowley and Lucifer have been using the club for soul collecting!

Henry

Figures hell needs more souls anyways

Patience

looks for a bathroom because the fucking yes I about to go right through me

Lucifer

Still madder than hell, I suddenly sense team free will nearby and I start cursing under my breath. Fine.. apparently if I want something done right I'll have to do it myself. I pace back over to my piano and smooth out my button up to wait for them to show up.

Patience

tea

Dean

Are we gonna stand here all damn night or are we gonna fix this damn problem?

Mary

I agree with Dean

Crowley

I'm a demon. I never claimed to be anything else. But now we're going to die.

Sam

THIS time we need an actual plan Dean!

Ellen

We need arch angel cuffs.

Charlie

I’m with Sam… this could have been very bad….

Alex

Yes!

Henry

I can do a sneak attack!

Crowley

I can go get them if you'd like.

Dean

That’s fine get a damn plan then so we can do this!

Sam

Every time we've ever gone up against Lucifer, when has it NOT been Bad?

Charlie

It’s going to take all of us to pull anything off with lucifer….

Dean

Like hell you will! Your ass isn’t going out of my damn sight! This is low even for you and you pulled ruby into it!

Lucifer

Rock music starts blaring over speakers out of nowhere

Charlie

nodding in agreement with Sam but a demon would be faster…

Lucifer

Setting the mood. A little ambience if you will

Ruby

Looks at the coward Crowley. "I'll do it!"

Sam

Agreeing totally with Dean on keeping Crowley in eye sight, I turn to Ruby. Yeah, Ruby. That’s a good idea… you go

Patience

sneaking in behind the stage with Henry and Alex

Lucifer

Queen starts playing we will rock you- followed up by bohemian rhapsody

Dean

Shit you better not fail us either

Crowley

I hold my hands up in defeat Fine, Fine.

Charlie

Well… looking in my bag I’ve got some fire crackers and light snares in here…. I can set off some distractions?

Mary

Agreed

Alex

Follow patience went behind stages

Sam

I'll help, we're going to need to divide his attention

Charlie

flares not snares

Dean

We can set off some distractions as well

Ellen

Hand me some Charlie. You can be on one side ill go on the other and we can throw them.

Charlie

passing out some firecrackers, flashlights and LEDs and flares  let’s do this

Mary

Yeah

Dean

I can find a way to distract Luci so somebody can get the cuffs on him maybe?

Charlie

Let’s hope Ruby is quick… where is the main room of the bar Crowley?

Dean

I think I found a door down there

Lucifer

Starts blaring ACDC 'are you ready' over the speakers

Charlie

Then we should stay low, until we’re ready to be seen. I’m sure Ruby will let us know when she’s made the handoff to Henry….

Ruby

Popping back, I toss the cuffs to Henry. I get caught up on the plan, and proceed to create more illusions in the club. I make several monkeys to run all over.

Ellen

hearing all the music he sounds like he's in a great mood.

Sam

Just before we get started with the plan, I grab Ruby by the arm and hold her back a second You just keep as far away from Lucifer as you can, alright?

Lucifer

Get confused sort of angry at the monkeys

Mary

helps try to distract Luci

Charlie

I make my way to a corner and set off the first flare

Dean

Mom come with me?

Mary

Sure

Henry

catches the cuffs while watches Lucifer from afar knowing I can use my telekinesis to my advantage  he seems fun to hang out with. Maybe I can befriended him. No no, I need to focus on capturing him. But still, I can give him a cookie I hope he likes cookies thinks to myself

Charlie

I light up some fire crackers and throw them to the middle of the room

Ruby

Absolutely

Ellen

I go the other and start setting off the fire crackers

Lucifer

Start dancing, waiting for the show to start

Sam

I nod and let her go Let’s do this… I head into the main club, bent on chaos and needing to burn off some anger. At the first table with just woman, I step close and without a word, wipe all of their drinks and personal items on top of the table, off onto the floor. Then just keep on walking.

Dean

I enter through a door and slide into the room where Luci is hey prick! You having fucking fun yet?

Mary

goes with Dean to help distract Luci

Ruby

Right with you!

Charlie

I set off the rainbow LEDs like strobe lights to make it harder to see who is who or where we are

Ellen

I light the flare Charlie gave me

Sam

Lighting a flare, I shoot sparks across several tables and the throw it towards the stage.

Mary SPN

follows

Lucifer

Oh so we're doing this the fun way? Roll my eyes as I notice more than one I’m having a blast dean- how about you? Send a blast of power his way to knock him in the wall- immediately distracted by sparks What the..

Charlie

lighting another flare I toss it, catching Luci’s hair on fire

Ruby

😄

Dean

throw a flare at your head as I hit a wall and get back up a bit sore fuck off bitch! lighting a firecracker throwing it your way

Mary

tries to distract Luci

Crowley

I slip into the main room and am torn about if I should help Team Free Will, or try and regain my good standing with Lucifer. If I should succumb to my nature.

Lucifer

Why are there... Rainbow strobe lights? Why didn’t I think of that.. I snarl and whirl around, trying to pat my hair and take out the fire I know I'm hot headed but damn! Get enraged and send out a powerful shockwave to try and knock everyone back

Charlie

knocked back for a moment I signal to all to go big—-time was now before he was too angry

Sam

I stumble back then  regain my footing and light another flare

Dean

get knocked back but then run towards Luci while he’s distracted and light another firecracker and throw it as I watch it fall in your shirt bullseye bitch!

Charlie

lighting another flare and a string of firecrackers hey Luciiii I’m hooommmeee!!!

Mary

gets knocked back and tries to help

Ellen

getting knocked back start to throw more fire crackers his way

Crowley

I swallow my pride and grab a vodka bottle and stuff a towel in it Hey Luci, catch this!  I light it with a fire ball and throw it into Lucifers hands

Patience

watching all the fireworks

Dean

Mom take the other side and distract him with flares

Mary

does as asked

Charlie

setting off more LEDs and firecrackers

Lucifer

Who knew you were all a psycho group of pyros?! I immediately disappear from my spot, leaving the flares to go off where I was. I spot Mary and smirk. This should make a good point. I reappear behind her- one hand on her neck and the other poised to snap my fingers HEY DEANO- wanna say goodbye to mommy?

Ellen

pours myself a whiskey then throws the glass that way

Sam

Seeing Lucifer MOM!

Dean

run at Luci as he grabs Luci MOM NOOOO I kick you hard in your gut ninja style

Henry

hearing dean scream like a scared girl I put the cuffs on Lucifer with telekinesis  hey big meanie you're going to the time-out room. But do you want a cookie I can share

Mary

tries to regain my breath

Sam

no way I can get close enough to stop him from this far away

Lucifer

I barely flinch, and toss Dean off me, but suddenly when I got to smite, there’s cuffs on me. What the fu... Did YOU do that?! What did- take these off me now!!

Charlie

seeing the cuffs go on Lucifer I take a breath of relief

Lucifer

proceeds to have toddler sized tantrum

Mary

tries regaining my breath

Ellen

whew, takes another shot of whiskey

Lucifer

TAKE THESE DAMN THINGS OFF ME

Sam

Makes it to her side You okay?

Ruby

Stands back near the exit watching it all, knowing somehow Lucifer will get free and there will be hell to pay, with me at the head if the line.

Henry

I have telekinesis and I'm the perfect of the lord . You can ask dad that but dad is too busy so the time out room it is

Mary

I will be once I catch my breath again

Dean

I fly back but seeing the cuffs on you I run up to you super fish flying hitting you in the face that’s for my mom BITCH! kick you knocking you to your knees

Lucifer

Time out room?! What is this- I'm not a child, you can't just throw me in 'time out'!!

Crowley

I walk up to Lucifer and dust off his shoulders Don't worry. The dungeon in the Bunker is cozy. You get plenty of alone time.

Charlie

Well not yet… first we need you to turn this place back to normal

Lucifer

Hit the ground with a bloody nose Wow, okay. Rude. Growl at Crowley and glare daggers

Dean

Acting like a little bitch with your temper tantrum time out in the dungeon sounds great!

Sam

You should be used to getting locked away by now

Charlie

I’m sure Gabe will be happy to deal with you when he gets home….

Lucifer

Okay first of all, out of bounds Bunk- buddy.

Henry

Dungeon with a trap that you can’t escape. But you aren’t behaving so no cookie for you

Dean

punch you in the face again shut the fuck up!

Lucifer

I just wanted to have a little fun, but no... Fine. Snaps the place back to normal and sneers

Mary

tries to get my breath back still

Lucifer

Hey, I think.. I deserve cookies at the very LEAST. After you PSYCHOS tried to blow me up with discount fireworks.

Charlie

Thank you… now dean…can you get him back to bunker without trying to kill him?

Lucifer

You're sending me back with the temperamental Ken doll? Seriously?

Crowley

I shoot a look at Lucifer and smile sheepishly

Alex

Smiles

Ellen

goes to help Mary get up and out to the cars

Lucifer

Oh you better watch your step. I'm already counting how many pigs I can get for you.

Dean

No guarantees come on bitch grabbing you by the seat of your pants and throw you over my shoulders like a ragdoll and carry you to the impala throwing you in the trunk and slamming the door hitting your head

Mary

tries to breathe

Henry

I'm going to tell my dad about this goes to get inside Sam’s car

Charlie

Ladies? Shall we? holding up my keys  I’m ready for a drink

Lucifer

HEY! EASY ON THE GOODS! curses from the trunk of the Impala

Ellen

Yup! I yell back to Charlie. Holding onto Mary

Dean

What was that? open the trunk slamming it down on your head again

Patience

looks to Charlie yes ma'am

Lucifer

WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE-- shut off my the trunk slamming my head and cursing louder

Ruby

Taking advantage of the melee, I pop out needing to get out of here.

Sam

Looking around for Ruby, I don't see her anywhere. Damn it Following Dean and Lucifer out, I get ready to escort the Impala back to the Bunker

Crowley

I hear the starting price is 3

Charlie

getting in my car I start it up homeward bound

Mary

weakly breathing Thanks

Dean

I jump in the car and once Mary is in I head back to the bunker

Mary

looks out the window

Ellen

Of course honey. Exciting night huh? helps her sit in the front seat of Charlie's car

Mary

nods

Charlie

Let’s get you home to rest

Ellen

hops in the front seat of deans car

Lucifer

Still banging on the trunk because still tantruming

Dean

once back to the bunker I get out and open the trunk grabbing. Lucifer and drag him out of the trunk slamming you to the ground then pick you up leading you inside

Crowley

I pat the trunk sympathetically

Patience

climbing in the car with Charlie

Dean

Oops sorry about that Luci

Lucifer

HONESTLY. Did no one ever tell you to be gentle?

Ellen

back at the bunker with Dean, watching him handle Luci like a rag doll

Charlie

pulling into the bunker let’s get Mary inside to rest, and then I think I need a beer.

Crowley

No, they really don't. Sorry

Lucifer

Is nobody gonna step in? Really? Okay this is just... honestly I was just having a good time and I'm feeling so attacked right now.

Dean

Nope why the hell would I be to the devil? dragging you into the bunker and down the steps making sure you bounce hard on every step

Crowley

I follow squirrel down invisibly

Mary

watches while trying to catch my breath

Lucifer

GONNA REMEMBER THIS THE NEXT TIME IVE GOT YOUR MOM IN A DEATH GRIP BUD.

Dean

at the bottom i grab you by your feet dragging you through the halls bouncing your head off the walls on the way. To the dungeon and throw you into the wall before chaining you

Lucifer

cursing in every language known and not known to man

Crowley

I watch Lucifer and Dean contemplating what would benefit me most

Lucifer

sensing Crowley nearby and death glaring in his general direction even if it looks like thin air

Dean

Have fun I can’t wait till Gabe gets ahold of your ass!

Lucifer

I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG!

Mary

goes to the kitchen

Dean

Riiiiight gaining innocent souls.... Turning ruby evil again....well trying to but it backfired

Crowley

roll my eyes and crouch taking out a knife and makes the tinniest scratch in the paint

Lucifer

I was just playing club owner for a little bit and enjoying the fine delights humanity supposedly offers-- so what if a few people were willing to sell their souls. Grown adults. Making their own decisions.

Dean

Dude he has archangel cuffs on but I will let Gabe known your helping his ass too

Lucifer

Also YOU GUYS came and crashed my party and attacked ME. Just defended myself.

Dean

Protecting people is what we do dumbass! Family business

Lucifer

Mhmm, and how many people did you protect storming in there tossing fireworks left and right setting the place ablaze. Just saying...

Dean

Considering you already killed innocent people cloned as ruby and CROWLEY With your little temper tantrum rage

Lucifer

And you guys lit the place up trying to get me. So.. bye to anybody left in there I guess.

Dean

Fireworks and flares didn’t kill anyone dumbass

Lucifer

All I'm saying is. If you guys left well enough alone, nobody would have died. I shrug nobody was forcing anyone to sign contracts before you guys showed up. Actually half of the deals probably would have left them better off than they were before.

Dean

Yeah and it’s a dangerous game and they would all die in 10 years we know how the game works

Ellen

goes down to get dean. dean let's go! Time to eat!

Lucifer

Oh you especially right?

Ruby

You could be right

Dean

hearing enough from you I real back and punch you hard slamming your head off the wall

Lucifer

Course I'm right. I shout with a bloody nose and smile, but I'm still conscious at least oooh, did I hit a nerve dean? Imagine someone stopped you making your deal. Yeah no hell, but I wonder where Sammy would be...

……………………………………………….

1. Sam and Dean are in the armory showing Mary the collection left behind by the men of letters specifically an odd looking gun that they hadn’t found the origin of yet.  Ellen, Charlie and patience are at the table talking while researching cases.  Henry and Alex come in from shopping and mention a new dance club that has opened in town, and maybe the team should take a night off to check it out.  They start talking about it at the table and soon are joined by Sam, Dean and Mary who join in and they all agree to get ready and go dancing.

2. Crowley, lucifer and Ruby are sitting in an office talking about how good business has been in collecting souls. Ruby is nursing an injured hand, but walks up and places a file on the desk showing their recent numbers. Crowley whistles and comments on how in all his years as king it’s never been this good.  Lucifer smiles and says he has much to teach them. All those years in the cage he had missed out on the fun. He had to make up for lost time. He sends ruby on a mission to go do some more advertising, while the men tended to business. Ruby scowls but says nothing as she does what she’s told.

3. The team has gotten dressed and are making plans for a fun night out. Sam and Dean comment about how this was not how they normally did things. Mary says some downtime is just as important as the hunts. Everyone else agrees. They decide who is going in what car (Sam, Dean and Charlie will all drive) and head out to the garage and drive to town. Once they find parking, Sam sees ruby hanging up signs and calls out to her. Ruby gasps and runs. Sam gives chase, while patience and Ellen go check out the signs. (It’s an advertisement for the dance club)  Henry wonders why Ruby is working a real job, Alex says ruby is good and wouldn’t hurt them. Charlie comments on her bandaged hand as Sam comes back saying he couldn’t find her. They decide they need to look into it a bit further and Henry sighs, after the prophet ordeal he was hoping to be normal for just a day. Ellen promises a Henry night as soon as this is over. They all agree and head home.

4. Inside the bar, Crowley is chatting up guests and signing deals left and right with a foolish grin on his face, while lucifer is playing the piano.  Ruby appears amongst the crowd, disgusted at what this place was, a soul collection pit. She thinks of all these poor people, drunk and drugged with no idea of what they’re getting into, and heads over to the piano to tell lucifer she saw team free will outside. Lucifer swears and Crowley overhears him and rushes to find out what is happening. Ruby warns of their intelligence and lucifer strikes her, and says she is underestimating who she has partnered up with, Willingly or not. Lucifer storms off to come up with a plan, and Crowley helps ruby up. He’s also a bit nervous knowing what the team is capable of and offers to help ruby come up with a plan to get out.

5. Back at the bunker Henry comes in and slumps on the couch, disappointed that a fun night turned into work.  Alex agrees with him, but reminds him this is the life they’d signed up for. Mary and Ellen try to comfort the two while Sam, Dean and Charlie are trying to research some information on the new club.  After a few minutes Charlie finds a website without a lot of information, but the ads promise an experience like never before which Dean scoffs at.  Sam reads a bit further as the ad says you’ll come out more successful, more wealthy or with whatever it is you desire most…. Dean pays attention then saying it sounds like a soul deal. Henry has overheard this and comments that maybe it’s best they didn’t go in after all. Sam tries to reach out to ruby but she ignores his calls, so they head out to investigate the club again.

6. Inside the club, lucifer is back on the piano and charming all of his guests. He flirts with a few random ladies and while he is distracted Crowley and Ruby sneak off to the store room behind the bar. (Lucifer you can free run yourself with guests or sing—whatever comes to mind) once they’re out of earshot Crowley and Ruby start planning a way to get out without lucifer noticing. They come up with several ideas and Crowley shoots them all down, saying luci is too smart for that. Then ruby remembers a spell she learned long ago that would allow her to turn a couple patrons into their clones. Crowley grins saying she was much smarter than she looked and asked what she needed from him.

7. The team is back outside the club, they’re watching the line up and realize that many of the patrons are either desperate or destitute. (Free run trying to talk to some guests here) dean, Sam and Ellen head to the lineup to question some guests while Henry, Patience, Alex , and Charlie start looking for a way inside. Not getting much useful information from the patrons Sam, Dean and Ellen go around the back and find the others just as Alex finds an unlocked door.  Sam warns that it seems too easy, and Dean says that’s a chance they’ll have to take. And he rushes inside, Charlie tries to stop him and Sam swears saying they have no choice now. Everyone gears up and heads in after dean.

8. Crowley comes back into the store room with the last of the ingredients Ruby needs for the spell. Ruby reminds Crowley that the clones won’t have their powers or their knowledge so they’d have to move quickly. Crowley snarks at ruby telling her to hurry before lucifer noticed they were gone. Ruby begins the spell and Crowley gets impatient and dumps in too much vervain, Ruby doesn’t notice and completes the spell and suddenly the club is full of Crowley and ruby’s! Lucifer looks around and sees it and he gets angry and begins to smite them one by one as he curses the “worthless demons” that betrayed him.

9. The team is walking through a dark hallway with several doors, they keep trying them as they look for a way inside the club (each person should open the door and see something that isn’t useful) until finally Henry opens a door and finds ruby and Crowley. Ruby has realized the mistake of her spell at this time and lucifer can be heard bellowing all through the club. Sam sees the fear in rubys eyes and the bandaged hand and yells at her saying now is the time to come clean. Crowley tries to place all the blame on ruby who immediately shuts him down and fills the team in on what Crowley and lucifer have built here. Lucifer, sensing the team nearby, goes back to his piano and waits for their appearance.

10. The team makes a plan to trap lucifer. Ellen says they’ll need the archangel cuffs and Crowley offers to get them. Dean gives him a look and says that he’s not getting out of their sights today. Crowley backs down and ruby offers to help. Sam says that’s a good idea and sends her on her way. Patience, Alex and Henry will sneak in from behind the stage, while Charlie, Ellen, Mary , Sam and Dean make plans to cause havoc all over the room. Ruby will use magic to cause some additional illusions as well.  Ruby pops back and they set their plan into motion. (Don’t move too fast, give Luci some time to respond and cause his own chaos too) lucifer is just about to smite Mary and dean screams out—just then henry uses his telekinesis and gets the cuffs on Luci. Luci curses and knows his plan is done. They take him back to the bunker after making him return the club to normal, threatening him with Gabe if he doesn’t comply.  Lucifer does as he’s told and they take him back to bunker and put him in the dungeon for safekeeping until Gabe came back.

[texasconcealedcarry]

10 Life Saving Tips For Women Who Carry Concealed

How often have you been searching for your keys in your luggage outside your car while paying no attention to your surroundings? How often have you strolled naked through a dark parking garage or an empty street? Someone may approach you, grab you, and violently remove you in a short moment, and you must be prepared for such scenarios. Women, in particular, must be prepared to defend themselves if they encounter a violent criminal, and a concealed carry license may be a vital component of that plan. Women, on the other hand, must be extra cautious. This guide provides women with tips to increase their safety. But, before we get to the suggestions, it's vital to discuss the conceal carry choices for women. Concealed Carry Options For Women: With so many choices for purses and holsters, it may be incredibly daunting for women. We're here to make things easier. First, we'll distinguish between on-body and off-body varieties. On body means you wear your weapon on your body, whereas off body means you carry your handgun along with a handbag or bag. Because it does not need a change of clothing, many women choose off-body carry as their first encounter with handgun carrying. Here are different options for women to concealed carry their guns: Purse Carry: This off-body conceal and carry option is especially desirable to women since most carry a purse. Thus there is no additional equipment to connect to our bodies. On the body, carry is better and is the preferred method of conceal and carry. Thieves will target your purse for your cash, credit cards, and handgun. A handgun in a purse poses a significant chance of a kid or other innocent person accidentally obtaining your handgun. The consequences might be disastrous. The security and inaccessibility of a handgun to others, particularly kids, is a significant responsibility that comes with handgun ownership and carrying a weapon. IWB Carry: The days of heavy leather IWB holsters with a hefty metal or plastic retention clasp are passed. Sticky Holsters create a highly comfortable neoprene-like holster. It also features an ambidextrous exterior sticky texture that enables the holster to be practically endlessly positioned between the body and jeans with a strong waistline. With any non-elastic or drawstring trousers, this holster will remain in place and be well hidden. Its considerably thinner and more pliant material aids in hiding in women's clothing's tighter fit. Because the material is soft/spongy, it is less prone to rub. OWB Carry: Pantsuits and blazers are typical workplace attire for certain female professionals. An OWB holster becomes a possibility in certain situations. Paddle holsters are available from manufacturers for compact carry handguns such as the Glock 43, SIG P938, and S&W J-frames. Combined with a suitably stiff cover garment, these choices enable easy access and comfortable carry. They are also an easy option for trekking or in areas of the nation where open carry is permitted. Garter Carry: With the Garter attachment, women may conceal and carry a pistol or revolver of small to medium size even while dressed in a skirt or dress. The size of the gun that can be taken is determined by the woman's size, her comfort, and how clinging the cloth is. 10 Life Saving Tips For Women Who Carry Concealed 1. Consider Your Body Type While Choosing A Holster: Though women came in many sizes and forms, it wasn't always easy to figure out how to conceal carry a weapon. Depending on your shape, level of comfort, and personal choice, you may choose where on your body you like to carry your handgun. Some holsters can be clipped onto a belt. In contrast, others may be worn in compression or corset, on the shoulder, on the ankle, in the bra, or even sewn into specific outfits. Whatever you pick, be prepared to check your clothes and layer correctly to hide your handgun. Women With Slim Size: Thin women might try belly bands or a cross-draw carry to keep the gun near their stomachs. They should also choose thin holsters that don't add much weight to their garments. Women With Average Size: They should think about concealing leggings or shorts, which are comfy and diminish the gun's print. Cross-draw and bellyband holsters may also be practical, and if you're carrying a.380, you might want to try a bra holster. Women With Larger Sizes: They might consider a cross-draw, which keeps the gun's grip slightly under their breast and away from their tummies. Some people choose a corset holster or a larger belly band that keeps the gun handy while slimming. Finally, you may need to experiment with a few different holsters until you locate the one that is the best match for your requirements. 2. Think About Off-Body Carries Carefully: If you cannot comfortably carry your handgun on your person, you should consider an off-body carry. Several purses on the market will enable you to carry a handgun while still matching your wardrobe. Purse and carry, however, need your total concentration, implying your purse cannot leave your possession. No tossing your luggage in a shopping cart or hanging it on the back of a chair when eating out. You must always have perfect control over your luggage. If you choose an off-the-shoulder purse, be sure it is made for hiding. It should feature a specific holster compartment for your handgun and one that entirely conceals the trigger guard with challenging material, restricting access to the trigger. It makes it simpler and quicker to locate when needed. Having a dedicated compartment and covering the trigger guard helps to prevent things from being caught in the trigger guard.  Don't just choose a purse because it's cute; think about how easy it will be to get to your gun and how you can maintain a consistent look and feel with it. So, if you opt to carry off-body, choose a purse that works for you and practice with it. 3. Know Your Handgun And How To Use It Properly: Please learn how your handgun works and how to use it correctly when you first get it. Learn how to maintain, load, and unload it securely, and then practice these actions until you are confident in your abilities. It's also vital to undergo handgun instruction and practice shooting at the range. Hence, you know how to stand properly and grip and shoot your pistol correctly. 4. Exercise, Exercise, And More Exercise: Simply owning a handgun does not protect you against violent crimes. It needs the practice to be able to operate the handgun fast, effectively, and accurately. Shoot as much as possible, and consider preparing for active shooter and abduction situations. Practice removing your handgun out of its holster as well. Remember that if you're carrying your gun in a purse, you'll need more practice since pulling a pistol from a bag is more complicated. 5. Ensure That Your Gun Is Not Accessible To Kids: Suppose you're a mother or someone who routinely looks after children. In that case, concealed carry may assist you in defending yourself as well as the children you're caring for. However, you must guarantee that the gun never poses a danger to the kids. Make sure curious kids cannot discover or grasp your gun, whether you carry it on or off your body. 6. Assume That Your Handgun Is Always Loaded: Although you may be cautious about unloading your pistol after each practice session, people make errors. It is feasible to forget once and leave your gun loaded; it is always better to assume that a gun is loaded. It may help to avoid careless discharges and potentially save your or someone else's life. 7. Be Ready To Draw Your Handgun If Required: In the case of danger, women must be prepared. In addition to having your handgun easily accessible, ensure your hands are free and you are just holding your keys. Maintain constant awareness of the placement of your weapon. 8. Carry Yourself With Confidence: Predators prey on victims whom they perceive to be defenseless. Just because you're having a bad day doesn't mean you can't stand up and carry yourself confidently. Passers-by should be addressed directly in the eyes. It shows people that you are powerful, confident, and aware of your surroundings. It may also help in identifying the culprit. 9. Trust Your Gut Feelings: Your sense is usually always true, yet women are trained to disregard it their whole lives. If you go into an elevator and feel horrible about the person inside, get out and wait for the next one. If your acts look unpleasant or unusual, you should not be bothered. Because your senses are your first line of protection, they must be acknowledged and honored. 10. Make Sure That Your Handgun Is Ready For Use: Keep your gun clean and verify it is loaded and ready to use. Keep hollow point ammunition in your handgun at all times. They expand on hit, causing the target's interior organs and tissues to be severely damaged and injured much more quickly. They are also safer in high-traffic areas since they stop going forward after they penetrate the target, eliminating the possibility of over-penetration and causing damage to whatever lies beyond the target. Conclusion: You may need to adapt to the idea of carrying a handgun with you and on you by selecting a comfortable on-body, and off-body carry solution. Begin by carrying your pistol for an hour about your house in a secure place using the selected holster or backpack. Also, practice accessing and drawing your weapon while it is empty. When ready, go on a brief trip, such as a short stroll or a car ride. As you feel more comfortable, you may gradually increase your duration and level of assurance. Read the full article

[batteryrose]

Hi!!!! Thank you thank you thank you so much for letting me ask questions!!!!

This is already making my day!!!! Hugs!!!

I sort of have a lot I hope that's ok...

Um...

For both Hegel and Freud!!! If that's alright!!!

Do they like nicknames?

What would they be like romantically? Are either of them a fan of pet names like darling or love? What would they think if thier s/o decided to wear thier outfits for fun? (Btw you gave them amazing outfits!!! I can't get over how cool they look!!!)

Are thier rooms tidy or a little messy? What kind of furniture do they like? How much time to they spend in thier rooms? Do they ever go to the game room? Have they ever played a game against Arthur?

Do they like physical or verbal affection more? (Honestly I really want to hug both of that's ok to say!)

Who would be thier best friends in the mansion? Who do they get along with best?

What would they think if Mc was a philosophy or psychology student?

What was thier initial reactions to finding out vampires are real? And what do they think of the purebloods Comte, Leo, and Vlad?

What would they think of an s/o that loves them very much but is basically the complete opposite of them?

What are thier favorite foods, drinks, and colors?

Do they have pets?

What kind of music do they like?

What gets them excited?

What do they despise?

Do they have any regrets?

Any new hopes?

What do they current work as in the ikevamp universe? Like how Napoleon has a school...and Arthur has that detective stuff going on! And Isaac is a professor again! Jean has a weapons shop! Ect...

Anyways sorry for asking so much!

Hugs!!! I'm just really excited!!!! Hope you're having a wonderful and lovely day!!!

Heyooooo thank you so much for asking this many questions hdhdhjsjs sorry if not everything is answered. Just to get where I'm coming from tho, I like to make fun of them more than I like to make them dateable HAHAHAHAH so don't mind the mean spirited comments I'm making

So let’s go point by point here:

Do they like nicknames?

Like, modifications of their name? Hegel would think it’s kinda weird... He doesn't really get it, but whatever floats your boat. He'd probably have a hard time getting used to calling you by a nickname.

As for Freud: Only his mom calls him Sigmund! (I'm sorry I had to) though he would probably laugh if you call him Sig. Maybe it'll stick over time.

.

Romantically, Hegel is... basically a textbook gentleman. Textbook because he can't really be intuitively romantic, you know. He'll take you out to dinners and buy you flowers but don't expect him to be creative or understand what you want right away. Poor guy needs you to be straightforward. He'd get things easier.

Pet names? He'd think it's sweet. I mean, that's how couples are supposed call each other right?

His clothes?? As long as you asked him maybe. He knows the robe looks kinda funny. Huh, what do you mean it looks super cool....

Freud, he's a bit of a sporadic guy. He likes going out, and he's really enjoying his new younger body now, and would literally walk everywhere. Anywhere with you. Maybe even run. Emotionally, he's quite sensitive. He can tell how you're feeling at a given time and knows the right thing to say. He likes giving gifts too, mostly weird antiquities, because that's what he loves collecting himself.

Pet names? Hell yeah, very cute! You want to wear his clothes? If you're a woman he might diagnose you with something! (I'm jk I'M JK he'd think it's amusing depending on how much it fits you. Either way, super cute.)

.

Their rooms: Both of them got messy rooms. Both of them loves locking themselves up in their rooms but especially Hegel. Hegel is easy to find, the only places he would be is either his room or the library. He's like a video game npc with exact schedules. He doesn't hang out unless someone dragged him out.

Freud would lock himself up sometimes but he is very social. He'd smoke and play cards with Arthur and the guys and really enjoys trying to Win. He'd also lightheartedly cheats sometimes, to rile them up a lil, especially when it's late and they're all drunk and tired.

.

Physical or verbal affection? Hegel, he's bad at doing both. But he definitely appreciates verbal affection. What's a more concrete form of love-language than using language itself! The easiest medium to absorb and understand human thoughts and feelings! So tell him u care him :)

Freud is too used to talking and chit chat as such that verbal affection will fly over his head. He'll notice physical affection more. You can, of course, hug them both. Freud is very hefty and nice to hug. He'd accidentally lift you up. Hegel on the other hand, would pet you in the head if you ask him to.

.

Best friends in the mansion? Hegel lives in the same era as Napoleon, and even come across him once (while he was was invading Germany... and obviously did not recognise Hegel at all...) But. Hegel had this weird admiration for him anyway. They should have a lot to talk about I'd imagine. And they'd surprisingly hit it off....

Otherwise, he'd actually get along with Freud, because that man talks non Stop but also has interesting things to say.

Freud likes to chat up everyone but the only one that could match his vibes is... Probably Arthur.

.

What would they think if Mc was a philosophy or psychology student?

Hegel would be Very interested in the development of western philosophy. Especially like, Centuries ahead of time. There's so much there. History and philosophy wise. Since he died I'm pretty sure the trend had been All About reading and/or rejecting Hegel... What's with the materialism vs Hegel's idealism trend... But we're not talking about that are we.

Mc and him would be chatting buddies. They would spontaneously plunge into some deep incomprehensible discussions. Other residents that overhear them might think they're crazy.

If MC is a psychology student they might have SOME questions for the guy... Maybe a lot of them. I think they could definitely go into heated arguments together because Freud is very passionate about his theories. He wants people to agree with him And he truly believes that he's on to something big. But he could probably still be convinced that he got things wrong. You gotta headbutt and match his stubbornness.

.

What was their initial reactions to finding out vampires are real? And what do they think of the purebloods Comte, Leo, and Vlad?

Honestly think it had screwed Hegel up a little. Knowing a truly immortal being like the purebloods had existed could change something about his philosophy (given infinite time and resources... perhaps a being could transcend its own subjectivity? and possibly achieve the Absolute after all? And then someone calls him for dinner.)

As for Freud? An very old living being is an absolute HODGEPODGE of issues. Of course he wants to psychoanalyze the shit out of them. On a more serious note. He appreciates... Having his world turned upside down after this knowledge. I don't know. I don't know what goes on in that dudes mind.

.

What would they think of an s/o that loves them very much but is basically the complete opposite of them?

Complete opposite of Hegel would be..... Someone that's very social? Active? Know nothing about philosophy?? Tbh. I think that'd be a perfectly good pairing for him. Someone that could give him new experiences and perspective.

As for the complete opposite of Freud, someone more mild mannered and quiet? Less prone to going outside? He's really good with people, I'd imagine it'll work out anyway. He might get frustrated if they don't communicate as much as him. So it needs some work, but it'll work.

.

What are thier favorite foods, drinks, and colors?

I, unfortunately, do not know what German people eat.

On a more serious note, Freud probably enjoys his traditional Jewish food. Homemade! As for Hegel, that guy never talks about something like this. Who knows what he even eat. Does he even eat at the mansion? As for colours I don't— I don't know——

.

What do they currently work in the ikevamp universe?

Hegel would just try to be an author again. Non-fiction, ofc, even if it's not philosophy (but it's probably still philosophy.) He'd be a Hegelian scholar that pretends to not be Hegel. Amazing. Also maybe he'd also try and be some sort of academic socialite. The word "try" is doing a lot of work here.

Freud would try doing some of that psychotherapy On-Call, I'd imagine. You know, directly visiting his patients houses? Because however flawed his theories were, he genuinely wanted to help people with mental illness. Especially as an alternative to the psychiatric institution of the time that I'm pretty sure was just, torture prison, or something.

.

That's all for now... I took way too much time to answer these.... If you have more detailed questions like, what would they do in this and this situation, you can still ask me. I honestly planned to write something with them a while ago but it never came to be. So, if you (anyone else reading) want to write/draw something with them please go ahead!

also, since you wanted to read this too: @kissmetwicekissmedeadly ​

[notyetneedcoffee]

Can’t Run

Steve Rogers is a wanted man. He broke the Accords, broke the law, and is still trying to do what’s right. . . even if it may get him killed.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Cannon level violence in this chapter, NSFW in future

New series. Others can be found on my Steve Masterlist

 Enough of the cold night air seeped into your old house to prompt you to pull on a heavy sweatshirt and wool socks. It’s not that you couldn’t turn the heater up, you just did see the need. If you could live in a cold tent through an Afghanistan winter, an east Cascade Mountain cold snap wouldn’t kill you.

Gary, your Belgium Malinois, curled up in front of the wood stove on his dog bed. You gave him a quick scratch on your way to the kitchen. The lights were low. All the devices were off. You just needed some quiet time. Maybe a beer would be good, too.

Before you could pull open the refrigerator, your dog moved past you to the rear door. He moved silently, hackles up. Unusual. Your training kicked in and you pushed further back into the shadows. Moving closer to the door, you tried to look through the sliver between your blinds out into the darkness of your carport. Something moved, something man height.

You swore internally as you slipped back to you living room and pulled the P320 from the hidden gun case in your console table by the front entry. Slipping your feet into the muck boots by the door, you quietly stepped out into the cold through the front door. You left Gary in the house, knowing that if you yelled for him he would go through the flimsy dog door. Hopefully, it was just a prowler. No need to be sued for a dog bite by someone who was trying to steal your chainsaw.

Peeking around the corner you saw your car door open and the hood up. ‘Good luck, asshole,’ you thought. ‘That thing isn’t going to turn over until the new starter comes by FedEx tomorrow.’

You stayed back far enough that he couldn’t easily turn on you, but close enough to see well. “Don’t want to shoot you…”

He moved so fast, a blur of dark movement rushed toward your face. You fired twice before a hard hit sent your gun flying. Instinct took over. Your foot made contact. You went low and inside, catching a glancing swing on the shoulder. Your elbow smashed into his gut, knocking him back.

His face came into focus. Holy shit, Steve Rogers.

You jumped back, putting your hands up.

He frowned, hard, before a groan of pain escaped his lips and he slipped to ground.

Blood seeped from his torso, from his thigh, and his shoulder. He was already wounded. You stepped a little closer to the man desperately trying to stay sitting up. “What the hell?”

“Dammit.” He muttered just as his eyes rolled back and he collapsed to the ground.

Shit. You looked around. There was nothing but darkness. Where the hell did Captain Frickin’ America come from and why was he bleeding out in your carport? Shit. You couldn’t let that happen. Rushing inside, you went for the medical go-bag you kept in the closet.

“Gary, get back.” The dog had slipped out when you came inside, he was sniffing over Rogers. At your order, he sat. “I wish you could help me with this.” You spoke to the dog as you began to cut the material away from his wounds.

With well-practiced precision, you cleaned the wounds and applied trauma dressings. It took effort, but you rolled him over to look for any through and throughs or rear entry wounds. He had one more on his left shoulder.

After stopping that leak, you pulled out an old green canvas tent. There was no way you could carry him, but you couldn’t leave him where he was either. Folding the single person tent into a quick litter you tucked it under his side before rolling him over onto his back.

“Okay, Cap.” You stood up, panting a little. “What to do with you?”

But you already knew the answer. It took a lot of tugging, a lot of swearing, but you finally got him moved into the spare bedroom. At least, to the floor of the spare room. The hardwood floors made it a little easier, but you were sweating by the time you were done.

Going back to get your bag, you were thankful for the supplies. The Captain looked ashen and extremely hypotensive. Cutting open the right sleeve of his uniform, you opened an IV kit and pulled out a bag of saline. Even bleeding out the man had great veins. You hung the bag off the bedpost over his head. He would do better with plasma, but you could at least help a little to get his volume up while you figured out what to do.

Your dog whined from the door. “What do I do, Gary? I shot Cap. It’s not like I can call 911. He’s a fugitive. I’m not going to be the one to turn him in.”

“N’hospital.” He murmured.

“Captain?” You leaned over him. “Can you hear me?”

“No.” His eye opened but didn’t focus. “N’hospitals.”

“Okay. No hospitals. Got it.”

Suddenly Gary bolted for the front window. Someone was coming down the drive.

Remembering your gun, you shut the guest room door and dashed to the back of the house. Cold rain had started pelting down, practically sideways. At least it began to wash away the blood. You grabbed your Sig from the driveway and the bandage wrappers. Stuffing the paper in the trash, you heard the car pull up.

Tucking the cold weapon in to your jeans, you took a deep breath and looked at yourself. The ratty black sweat shirt hid any blood and you’d wiped your hands clean. A knock came at the door. Gary barked, aggressively. He didn’t like whomever was at the door.

Three men in uniforms stood at the door. They looked military, but had no visible insignia. You only opened the door a few inches, but enough to let them see you holding back the big dog.

“What is it?” You asked, not bothering to be friendly.

“Ma’am,” One tipped his head. “We’re going door to door looking for a suspect. Male, six foot one, blond or possibly brown hair.”

“Haven’t seen anyone, but something set my dog off like crazy about an hour ago. I thought it was elk.” Living in the woods, you saw them all the time. “He took off, barking like mad, but came back a few minutes later.”

“So, you haven’t seen anyone?”

“Nope.” Gary gave a growl and you tugged on his collar. “This guy would let me know if anyone were around. He’s not fond of men, as you can see.”

He stared at you a moment longer, before nodding. “Alright, ma’am. If you see anything, do not approach. Just dial 911.”

“Got it. Goodnight.”

As you shut the door, Gary instantly settled down and trotted off down the hall. You watched the men get in the car and leave down your drive. They didn’t stop even when they turned onto the main road at the end of your long drive.

You went back to check on your patient, opening the door slowly. The Captain had slid himself up against the wall and was half sitting up. Looking panicked, cornered, and dangerous, somehow his strength was coming back frightening fast.

“Hey there, Captain.” You said softly. “You okay? I mean, I know you’re hurt, but you’re not going to try and kill me, are you?”

“Who’s here?” His voice cracked.

“Just me.” You opened the door all the way and your dog laid down in the hall.

“No.” He frowned. “I heard, heard you talking to a man.”

“Some men came to the door. I lied and sent them away. It’s just me here.”

He shook his head. “Earlier.”

“I was just talking to my dog, Gary.”

“What?” He focused on you fully, face incredulous. “Who names a dog Gary?”

“An asshat brother with the intent to torment me for the rest of my life.” You knelt down, to be eye to eye with him. He huffed a half laugh. “Did I add to your wounds?”

“Um, don’t think so.” He swallowed and lifted his right arm. “You patch me up?”

“Yeah. It was either that or have you bleed out on my drive. Shitty job trying to steal my car, by the way.”

“Sorry.” His eye drooped. “Why didn’t you call me in?”

“We’re soldiers. You’re THE soldier. There’s no way in hell I’m going to do that.” You moved a little closer. “Any chance you’ve got enough strength to help me get you on the bed?”

“Soldier, huh?”

“Army medic, was anyway.” You came a little close and rearranged his IV line. “Good thing, too. You were banged up. I can’t believe you’re talking to me, actually.”

“I shake it off pretty quick.” He groaned as he tried to sit up. “What’s your name?”

“Y/N.” You carefully helped him up an onto the bed. “I’m gonna take your boots off and cut these bloody clothes away. That okay?”

He laid back, panting, and gave a little nod. As you worked on his boots, he got the pain back under control and watched you. “You’re not going to ask what happened?”

“Near as I can figure I’m harboring a wanted man.” You grinned. “Best to have plausible deniability.”

“Fair enough.” Steve stiffened as you cut your way up his pant leg, getting close to his hip.

“Captain,” You paused. “I’m going to do my best to respect your modesty, but I’ve got to get these off.”

He frowned again, but nodded. You figured casual conversation would set him at ease.

“So,” you started. “Gary seems to like you. He doesn’t like most strangers. Are you a dog person?”

“I love dogs.” His lip curved up. “Never had one of my own, but yeah.”

He groaned as you pulled the remnants of his pants from beneath him. He wore black boxer briefs and you did your very best not admire his muscular thighs as you tucked a quilt around him. “It’s pretty amazing you’re even conscious. Is healing part of the whole super soldier thing?”

“Most times,” He ground his teeth together as you got the pieces of his uniform top off. “Doesn’t mean it isn’t painful, though.”

“I can only imagine. I don’t have anything very strong, but I might have one or two painkillers left from rehab after my last surgery. You’re welcome to them. Or a stiff drink?”

“Won’t help,” he huffed a pained laugh. “It would take more than you have, and I could down a bottle and not get drunk. More of that super soldier stuff.”

“Well, that sucks. Did they hide that disclaimer in the fine print or something?”

He laughed, and winced. “Oh, stop that. It hurts to laugh.”

“Sorry.” You grinned and bundled up his ruined clothes. “Any friendlies going to be looking for you?”

“Not for a couple days.”  

You could see him fading fast. “Okay then, you rest. I’m going to get rid of this and bring you something to drink, something to eat too.”

By the time you returned with a large bottle of water, a turkey sandwich, and a pair of pajama bottoms your ex-boyfriend left at your house, the Captain was out cold.

TAGS:

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[clayanddust]

Mercenary Bugologist (Anita + Clay)

Participants: Anita Nieves (Karli- Lamia), Clay Hale (Tapir- Hunter) 

Location: Casa De Nieves

Summary: Anita and Clay meet to discuss exciting opportunities in the monster bug market. 

Content Warning: some bug gore, med blood tw

 Clay parked the truck and double checked the Dark Score address on his phone. The Hunter groaned and rubbed his eyes, muscles begging for sleep as the livid bruises now blooming on his face and neck were making their angry presence known. Clay reached into his beige military jacket and slowly divested himself weapons, storing them discreetly in the truck until he was practically naked with just a Sig Sauer and some knives.

As we all know from National Geographic, scientists are easily spooked by machetes.

Clay lifted the tarp on the back of his truck and was assured the grizzly corpses were still there and not yet becoming some sorta frankenstein abomination.  He jogged up to the small house, and uselessly tried to wipe black insectile blood off his hands on equally stained jeans before knocking.

If Anita hadn’t been so desperate for a paying gig she probably would have told this guy off online and then never thought about the interaction again. But she was desperate for a paying gig which is why she found herself covering her home office with sheets of plastic while she waited for some internet stranger to deliver her bugs to dissect. It felt like one of those moments where you look back and go ‘ah yes, that was the point of no return.’ It wasn’t long after she had set up her insect kill room when she heard a few knocks at her front door. Now all there was left to do was hope that he wasn’t secretly there to kill her. As Anita drew closer to the front door she recognized the very familiar smell of bug guts, and felt her nerves calm down a bit. She opened the door, but not too wide as to immediately welcome him in, “Wow, you look like absolute shit.”

“Thanks, squalid is my love language,” Clay replied, grin bright through the bruises. But the smile did not reach the Hunter’s cold dark eyes. His gaze sized up zzz Anita in a surgical moment before flicking around the surroundings, the snowy lakeside, the barren trees, as if something could jump them both at any time.

“So want to see what you're workin with and before we bring the gribblies inside,” suggested Clay with a nod towards the truck and the tarp over its back.

“Well, you must feel surrounded by love right now then.” There was something almost eerie to Anita about the way he had smiled, it felt like an empty gesture intended to put her at ease while doing the exact opposite. Following his eyes, she noticed him taking in the surroundings as if the trees might become sentient and attack. Which, admittedly, in this town wouldn’t be all that shocking. “Relax, Rambo. Nobody’s gonna interrupt today’s main event, ok?”

Nodding, Anita stepped out onto her front porch, closing the door behind her as she began to walk over to the truck parked in her driveway. “Do you know what sort of species you brought or did you just kill first and hope you got something of value?”

Anita’s quip seemed to set Clay at ease, sardony perhaps being a communication style the Hunter was more familiar with. “Alrigh’ but if I’m bout to get eaten by your pet man-gator I’ll haunt you listening to Three Days Grace in my skivvies.”

This dire threat thus levied, Clay walked to the truck and vaulted one-handed into the truck bed with casual alacrity. He pried back the tarp to reveal the spindly forms of massive mosquitos, each with the thorax the size of a human child and gossamer wings twice that length. Their proboscises were like dark chitinous spears. “Moskittos,” the Hunter provided.”They produce a powerful anticoagulant that’d made very value heart thinners and heart meds if extracted properly.”

“My man-gator is actually vacationing in Florida for the season, he’ll be real sorry he missed eating you though,” Anita found it amusing that he was very wrong about what kind of reptile he needed to be worried about eating him. Fortunately for him she needed money right now more than she needed a meal.

“Wow…” Anita remarked softly as the tarp was lifted. She had examined a Moskitto or two before, but it had taken weeks for her to track it and then figure out how to capture it without it making a meal of her. The fact that this man managed to get a whole truck load of them sent a small chill down her spine. She really should have learned more about him before inviting her to her home. “Some collectors like to buy their proboscis. Not really sure why, but they do.”

“You're an old hand with the cryptids and mutants then,” noticed Clay at her remark about the market for creepy bug-spears, looking down at  Anita from where he sat atop the truck’s tailgate. The Slayer seemed to look over the scientist again, as if reassessing her, but the amiable calm of his features and hard jasper eyes gave no hint at what conclusion he’d come to. “Good, we don’t have to go through the whole Bigfoot chat,” he affirmed.

“The anticoagulant can carry diseases if it’s not extracted properly which is part of why I’d prefer an expert handles that part,” admitted Clay, “Interested?”

Last time Anita was in town she was far more reserved about admitting to her knowledge of the ‘cryptids and mutants’, but that ultimately never really benefited her. So she decided to stop caring so much about tipping her hand about these sorts of things. Besides, the guy was at her house with a truck full of supernatural bugs - feigning shock or lack of knowledge seemed counterproductive. “I actually heard a rumor that there's a bigfoot roaming around lately. Might be a kerashag or something,” she added with a shrug.

“Yeah, these guys can carry a whole host of nasty infections. I performed a dissection of one a few years back.” As Anita looked back over at the guy there was a part of her that wished she had pushed for a higher percentage of the take. Sure, he risked his skin killing these things but one wrong slice of her scalpel and she could get very sick rather quickly. “You have a partner in the killing of these things too, or that all you?”

“A Shaggy huh?” Clay asked, drawing his own surmises about Ex-Professor Nieves from her use of the necrophage’s proper name. “I hope so, if anything that big is being seen by normies, I’d rather it be those hair-chewer Chewbacas y’know? They don’t hurt nobody.”

Clay listened to Anita talk about her dissection, sitting on the top of the tailgate, arms resting laxly on the knees of his jeans. Late evening light refracted off Dark Score Lake, the setting sun spreading one last corridor of gold along its surface, surrounded by the darker violet and blue mirrored from the eventide above. In the distance Clay could make out the weathered shells of abandoned vacation homes poking out like opponent bone mounds in sleeping winter woodland. Clay guessed that Anita Nieves was more than just an itinerant academic looking for some solitude, but the Slayer had more than enough on his hands just keeping Spawn and Alghouls from overrunning White Rest without alienating people who could help keep him funded.

“Just me this time,” Clay admitted. “When there’s a rush of anemia cases at the hospital it can give Dracula vibes,” the Slayer continued with the casualness of a professional discussing the mundane intrigues of the office. “But often it's something simpler,” Clay said, nodding down to the truck bed full of bloodsuckers more mundane than ravenous corpses. “So what got you into cryptid bugs Nieves,” Clay asked, keeping the questions on Anita’s profession rather than the far more sensitive topics of species. “You find a specimen scientific journals wouldn’t accept or something?”

If Anita hadn’t put it all together before, it was apparent to her now. The man was some sort of hunter. Judging by his dracula hunter, likely a slayer. Though in her experience, just because a hunter wasn’t the type to typically kill her kind - didn’t mean they would never do so. And now this one knew her name, and her address, and that she was no stranger to the strange world they were both a part of. “Normies,” she repeated softly, wondering if that comment was his way of suggesting he didn’t think she was one.

“And you normally go chasing after Dracula vibes? Sounds quite dangerous.” Anita leaned against Clay’s truck, careful to press her body against part of it that wasn’t covered in fresh bug intestines. Crossing her arms as she listened to his question, she began thinking about the version of the truth she was willing to tell him. “My father was incredibly prominent in the pest control business down in Mexico. Sometimes he would get calls for, well - how did you put it? - really big bugs. It’s one thing to hear stories of creatures like this, but once you see one for yourself …” She trailed off, letting the implication of acceptance end the story. “I know the larger scientific community isn’t ready to accept these truths, but I’m a scientist. Once I knew things like this were out there, I wanted to study them. Only the bugs, of course. Girl’s gotta have a specialty.”

The story was the truth, save for the omission of her own species. Anita didn’t need him knowing that though. She may be in business with him but she sure as hell didn’t trust him. “How’d you get into killing things like these and scrapping them for parts?”

“Only if people might get hurt,” was Clay's stance on chasing Dracula vibes. “Best leave dark castle’s with lots of lightning and moody fog alone y’know,” was the Slayer’s sardonic tip of the hand to what the limits of his aggressive cryptozoology were. Besides, what's even the point of trying to take revenge on a virus?

“That’s brave of you,” noted Clay from his tailgate perch. “You’re dad too. I mean it,” he followed up quickly. “All this stuff can bring on some real vertigo, and going against the consensus and dealing with the gaslighting takes guts,” noted the Hunters whose duties regularly included the very kind of occlusion and cover-ups he was praising Anita for overcoming.

“Oh y’know,” Clay previarticated, “Rural living, hunting elk and the sorta thing,” was true. “Once day you learn fairy tales are real but they are more dangerous than charming, buuuuuuuuuut,” Clay shrugged, his dimpled smirk full of the phlegmatic ruefulness of someone who’d survived a war only to realize they’d been a casualty after all. “But rent and shit doesn’t stop just cuz Tinkerbell and Nellie are real, right? The dead are rising and Hell’s full, but late stage capitalism keeps rolling on,” Clay observed merrily, pointer fingers making motions evocative of wheels.

“Besides,” Clay noted more soberly, “those fucking fairy tales wrecked alot of lives back home,” the Appalachian son said. “Cutting up those fairy tales and selling them gave my neighbors another chance at normalcy,” admitted the zombie outbreak survival.

“Yeah, best leave the dark spooky castles to the Buffy’s of the world, huh?” There was a combination of sarcasm and realism in Anita’s voice, almost as if she was daring him to admit that slayers were real too. Or even, given his own choice to bring up Dracula and blood sucking, that he might be one himself. It was hard for her to hold back a laugh when Clay called her father brave. The man was plenty of things, brave would never be one of them. “I’ve done my fair share of gaslighting. It’s easy to deal with when you know the signs.”

The accent in the bug-slayer’s voice and his comment about ‘back home’ told Anita that he also wasn’t a White Crest native. Which wasn’t surprising considering the type of people who seemed to gravitate to this place. “So you’re a modern-day Robin Hood, huh? Save people from things that go bump in the night and then make sure you get paid for your efforts. Or, well, maybe Robin Hood isn’t the best comparison. But, ya know,” she shrugged then shoved her hands in her pockets as the cold air was starting to get to her. “I’m sure your neighbors appreciate whatever amount of normalcy you were able to restore.”

“I think Rob had a decent idea until he became a simp for King Richard ,” noted Clay breezily, as if the 13th century English Outlaw was someone currently getting ratioed on Twitter. “I don’t have those delusions of grandeur, ….because I’m not a Disney furry bait fox,” he noted with a sage nod, as if not being an animated fox from 1973 was the sole reason for discretion. “Also like, Richard the First was a complete fucking monster so y’know, weird that Rob was cool with him after fighting John for so long,” Clay shook his head with a playfully disapproving expression, as if finding the Disney Fox’s antifacist cred lacking. “Yikes Rob.”

Clay noted Anita’s movement, “Kay do you want me to bring these inside?”

Anita knew that something she had said sparked this seemingly unprompted history lesson, but for the life of her she had no idea what that something had been. She was all about learning, but she tended to care far more about science than history… or Disney foxes? So she just nodded and laughed where it seemed appropriate. His next question made sense, but as Anita looked over at the mound of bug parts in his trunk she realized that she should have covered her hallways in plastic sheeting, not just the office. “Yeah, gotta get them into the makeshift lab somehow.” She scrunched up her face in thought as she tried to figure out how to do so easily and cleanly. “Unfortunately the office is at the back of the house… so I can help you carry these if you need?”

Clay cocked his head at Anita’s noncommittal laughter, expression thoughtful. “You don’t have’ta pretend I’m funny or make sense if you don’t want to y’know,” Clay said with the air of man shrugging off some triviality of etiquette. “It’s just us and Nessie out here,” the mutant pointed out, looking out over the black slate waters of Dark Score Lake spread out beneath the pale pinpricks of emerging stars. “I’m a big boy, Professor. Don’t have to protect me from my dysfunction,” he promised with a wry chuckle of someone who wasn’t quite broken enough yet to escape the bite of self-awareness. “Kind of you though.”

“Sure,” Clay affirmed at her instructions. The Hunter hefted several of the child-sized insects up and over his arms with unnatural ease before jumping down from the trunk. Thick yellow hemolymph oozed from bullet holes in each of the monstrous flies, dripping down Clay’s jacket sleeves and leaving a musty-smelling trail on the grass as walked towards the house’s back door.

Most people didn’t call Anita out on feigning interest. Then again she wasn’t usually feigning interest around men, she often let her disinterest in those circumstances be obvious. Which is probably why she was caught off guard when he called her out so spectacularly. “Actually, it’s just us. Nessie migrates for the winter season.” There was something really reassuring about him being so self-aware.

As Anita watched Clay begin to carry the bugs to the back door it became incredibly apparent how messy this was going to get. And quickly. She reached into the bed of the truck and grabbed one Moskitto, holding it as far away from her body as she could as she quickly tried to catch up with her temporary business partner. “Be careful! You’ve gotta go through the back part of the kitchen to get to the office. And I only had enough plastic sheets to cover the office!” Despite carrying more insects than she was, he somehow was moving at twice her speed.

Clay paused at the back door and froze, listening, dark eyes scanning the houses’ interior through the crack of a door. The Slayer held completely still as the threshold for a full minute before continuing into the premises without acknowledgement of the pause. Even with his burdens, Clay moved through the kitchen with a physical ease born both from strength and the subtler confidence of not being made awkward by others’ boundaries or space. It was an invasive boldness reserved for radiant extroverts, rich men, and seasoned criminals. Clay Hale was only one of these things.

Yellow hemolymph dribbled on plastic sheets as Clay turned in place at the waist, scanning Anita’s insectile menagerie with interest. “So where do you want me to put these?”

Anita watched the bug slayer stand at the entryway to her house for what seemed like forever. She wasn’t fully sure what he was doing, whether he was contemplating how to get the bugs inside without making a mess or if he had maybe just… broken? Either way he was letting a pile of dark yellow goop form on her back porch. These fucking bugs must have only been dripping their intestines really slowly because as she and Clay brought them through the kitchen they left a long sticky trail of this ember discharge behind.

“Right on that covered table is fine.” Anita had dragged her kitchen table into the room and covered it to use as a makeshift operating table. Not like she used it for eating anyway. She crossed the room and put the single insect she had been carrying down on the table, then turned to the strange man she had invited into her home, “You wanna go get the last few of them? I’ll start preparations for these guys.” She thought for a moment about making some jab about being more careful walking through the house this round, but she didn’t know if he would potentially dock some of her pay for the job if she was too rude. “Careful not to slip on the trail of internal fluids these things left behind.”

[liathgray]

Ranking fmab characters worst to best

(Please don’t take this seriously)

1. Khymbleigh

- Lives in the sewers

- Committed mass murder

- Has a silly idiot hat

- Called me a dyke :(

2. Shou Tucker

- fuck this guy.

- Electric chair

- Also hes balding what a loser

3. Dwarf in the Bong

- mike wazoski lookin ass

- Literally the greasiest motherfucker on the planet

- Was one of the only characters introduced by NOT beating up Ed or Al..??

- Smells like rotten cabbage

4. Moy Rustang

- Incel

- Has stupid hair

- War criminal

- Teen dad

- Canon fat tits

- Useless🥰

5. Envy

- a bitch

6. Whorehenheim

- deadbeat

- Has never taken a shower in his life

- Only wears glasses because he thinks its quirky and cute

- Took the fattest bong rip of all time

- Also killed thousands

7. Tim Marcoh

- doctor and deserted the military

- honestly pretty chill

- But his name is Tim so... *cocks gun*

8. Bradley

- :/

- Killed a lesbian and thus is homophobic

- He wears an eyepatch despite having both eyes.

9. Elicia and Gracia Hughes

- tax evaders

10. Jean Havoc

- cool dude

- Cohntry boyy i luv youuu

- Did not look respectfully

- Smokes. Must be executed

11. Gluttony, pride and Sloth

- assholes but also what the fuck

- This boy like 10

- Wheres his babysitter

- fast????????

12. Armstrong

- his arms are strong

- Lil bitch

- Got his ass beat my his hot lesbian sister

13. Lust

- is sexy

- Murderer :(

- Big tibbies so she gets extra points

- She was just checking if roy and havoc were cake

14. Scar’s brother

- Truth took his cock.

15. Truth

- took Scar’s brother’s cock

16. Barry the chopper & the slicer

- criminals

- Almost killed Ed and Al

- Kinda sexy tho 😳

17. Greed (OG)

- greasy garbage man

- Got cucked after two eps

- Has dumb hair

- Was funny

18. Yoki

- He yo the ki or whatever

- I dont remember him

19. Fu and Lan Fan

- Legs for days!!!

- Breaking and entering

- Lan fan smugly cutting off her arm and saying “I beat you” awakened something in me

- Fu got shanked :(

20. Rose Thomas

- Maybe im gay. What of it?

- Almost shot Ed lmaooo

- Probably owns a ukulele

- Local

21. Greed 2.0

- stupid

- Beats the fuck out of Bradley

- Might’ve eaten dirt

- Went camping for five months instead of being helpful

- Aphobe :/

22. Ling

- freeloader

- Diabetic??????

- Smells like broke

- Gay little bitch boy

23. Sheska

- haha nerd

- I’m in love with you

- Was only in two episodes :(

24. Captain Buccaneer

- Off his shits always

- Took ten years to die lmfaooo

- MLM but a gatekeeper

25. Major Miles

- His facial hair is atrocious

- Otherwise? King

- Sunglasses indoors... ur on thin ice

- Turn around bright eyes...

26. Father Cornello

- So theres this middle aged man...

- Won the sexiest character poll on twitter

- Re🤢🤢 l🤢🤢. r-r-religous🤢🤢🤢c-cor🤮🤮 religious corruption

- Got gunched lol

26. Kain Fuery

- Has watched pulp fiction

- Haha glasses

- Probably volunteers at a animal shelter

27. Vato falman

- Skinny legend

- Genuinely cool and has development at briggs

- Go white boy go

28. Heymans Breda

- Has a moped

- Could crush my spine but wouldnt ❤️

- Crew cut 🤢🤢

29. Xiao Mei

- small and filled with rage

- Has good taste

- Gunch??????

- Literally so small please be careful

30. Gay chimeras

- TWO MEN

- WE’RE BURLY

- WE’LL DO WHAT YOU WANT

- cottagecore

31. Pinako Rockbell

- has been high off her ass for the past three years

- Sultry doctor who lives in a faraway town 😳😳😳 hello ma’am 😳

- Hair is definitely a weapon. Shits pointy

- Home wrecker

32. Sig

- wide

- Very wide

- Kiss kiss

- Only eats potatoes

33. Riza Hawkeye

- big arms big arms big arms biG ARMS BIG ARMS

- Would kill roy on sight

- she should kiss me

- rn

34. Maes Hughes

- had a band in highschool named frog soda or some shit like that

- Pretty cool! Nice to ed and al and winry

- Good dad

- Dead lol

35. Olivier Armstrong

- goth gf

- Sword.... sword hot.....

- Killed a dude for being annoying and I respect that

- Snorts snow and says its coke to freak people out

- Gay ass....

36. Ed Elric

- ok gay boy

- Makes everyones life hell. Good for him

- NERD????? A FUCKING NERD???

- I’d steal his lunch money

- No tiddies?

- :/

- Short king

37. Maria Ross and Denny Brosh

- wlw mlm solidarity

- maria ... hold my h-hand...

- literally had nothing to do with this but got McFcuked anyways

38. Scar

- acab

- Was right

- Dilf

39. Al Elric

- likes cats so he’s automatically superior

- Malnourished 😔✌️

- Cha cha slide in full armour

- Mean but only to Ed ❤️

- I love when he *king noises*

40. Izumi Curtis

- kiss me sexy woman

- Stole from briggs because fuck the military

- .. m...milf..

41. Paninya

- fucking superb you funky little lesbian

42. Winry Rockbell

- NERD!!! NERD !!

- Curb stomps her enemies

- Acab but also stole Riza’s look so 😳

- Is she.. u kno💅

43. Mei Chang

- her life is a YA drama

- gained a dad by being perfect

- bullies Ed

- is better than everyone

And finally..... the best character in fmab...

Resurrected Trisha

- 😳😳😳

- Yes i do the cookin yes i do the cleanin

- 😩😩😩

[valeskakingdom]

Request

Hi! I wanted to make you a request for a jerome x reader bc I saw that you write so well! Anyway, could you do a one shot where jerome and female reader meet when hes been kidnapped by Theo and she's an assasin that works for him that interrupts his speech that he's doing to the maniax (and if you could do her with a few tattoos, dressed in leather and covered in blood bc she just ended a "work" For Theo it would be great but you're not obligated) and they are fascinated by each other and begin to be friends and.. Idk if you can use your mind to make them sleep together 😂 and one last thing she has a strong personality but it's not like she never smiles like she has emotions ahahha (so she's not bitchy like I've seen doing in other fics), and she's kinda dominant in bed.. Like she is a switch, if you don't want to do it bc you don't like the idea it doesn't matter

Requested by @rott3nheart

Thank you!! Okay so, I tried to do my best on it. Honestly about the switch thing I kinda felt uncomfortable but still I tried to do my best. Hope you enjoy reading:)

PS: here's part 2

Jerome x female reader (part 2)

Warnings: mention of sex, murder and violence

"Don't you have an own room?" You cooed with a smirk. You were proud of yourself. Your little teasing worked and you had his full attention.

"So you were not teasing me doll? Swinging your little hips to drive me nuts." Jerome pressed his forehead against yours, your noses touched. His lips hovered over yours and his exhaled breathed touched your cold skin.

"What are you gonna do about if I maybe did, huh?" You smirked mischievously "Wanna punish that bad girl?"

Before Jerome could answer you opened your door to enter your room, you expected he'd come in, too - and he did.

Not answering to your rhetorical question, Jerome entered your and admired all the weapons hanging on your walls. You could say, you were a weapon fanatic as an assassin. You had everything: pistols, rifles, axes, whips...everything.

You loved your weapons - even more than humans. They were everything to you. And every weapon told a different story like how and when you killed which victim, how you felt at that point, what time it was.

"I see you like my weapons." You chuckled letting yourself fall in your bed with a sigh. You looked at Jerome. You could tell him whatever you wanted, he wouldn't listen. He was too fascinated of your weapon collection - you could see it. His eyes examined every detail of your pistols, he felt every inch rifles, his mouth stayed open with a huge smile on his face. His eyes expressed astonishment, some kind of lust, you could see how he imagined to kill someone every time he touched a gun.

"This is heaven..." You heard him whispering, then he took one of your guns "How'd you get all those weapon? You've got even more than me."

Smirking you walked to Jerome looking at your collection with pride. You didn't pay attention to his comment, you just thought about all your kills: your first kill, your most violent kill, your favorite kill, your worst kill... Then you had an idea.

If fact, you noticed you liked his appearance, and he was pretty hot, you liked his craziness, he interested you....you kinda liked him, let's admit that. He was different than others, very different. He literally sticked out of the crowd.

You looked at him - viewing from head to toe. Jerome was an authority.  He stood there like a model, he thought of every soft move he made. His craziness, God, you loved it. The first moment and he was like a buddy, the second moment he was a bad boy, the thrird moment he was a killer. It aroused you, it turned you on hardly.

You never seen a man like him, so it was natural for you to play with him - maybe even to keep him.

"This here," You took a gun, it was a SIG - Sauer P226, "is my favorite over all others. I used it for my favorite kill. I'm about to say it was a special kill." You looked at the gun for a while with a short smile. You remembered everything. You killed ex lover with that gun after you found out he was betraying you. Of course, you didn't freaked out like usual girls, oh no. You waited for him to come home, you had a nice dinner, a wild make out session that turned out to sex - then you tortured and killed him.

"Tell me about it, I love stories." Now you had his full attention.

"This kill was so different from usual one," you slowly walked behind him, then you placed the gun's front side on his neck and let it travel down his spine "It was full of sensation, passion and lust. I've never felt that before," Jerome's body slightly shivered in arousal and so he let out a deep breath; then you pressed the front side against his neck, your arm was tightly wrapped around his torso that you could pull him close to your body, your lips were leaned on his ear "And I'd do anything to feel this again."

You could hear his slightly stammered breathing, he loved what you did. Your teasing succeeded. He loved how the gun travelled along your skin, how you seduced him. He just waited for you making the first step that he can finally rip your clothings off from your body and let you all this feel again. He knew he could do it, he knew he could give you all what you wanted. 

"Challenge accepted, doll." Within a second, Jerome turned around and literally threw you into your bed.

Jerome took his shirt off before he laid on you and kissed you deeply. He bit your lower lip while, his tongue slipped into your mouth and fought for dominance, he pressed one his legs between yours to spread them. You hands were placed on his head, your fingers were tangled in his hair and slightly pulled on it. Gasps and moans filled your room due to this make out session. Jerome pressed his body close on yours that you could feel the bulge in his pants, growing because of you. It turned you on. Your nipples hardened under your lacy bra and your panties soaked. Pins and needles were sent down your whole body through his touch.

With no hesitation he ripped your shirt off from your body shortly before he made his way down, along your jawline to your neck. You moaned a little as he hit on of your sweet spots; immediately he started to suck and slightly bit on that part. His teeth almost parted that sweet flesh of yours that some blood dropped down the wound. That was one more reason for Jerome to suck on you, he wanted to taste you. He wanted to taste the sweetness of your blood, to feel it on his tongue what made him shiver. He was like a predator that finakkycaught his little prey to devour it.

His hands wandered down your sides, touching every inch of your body. You enjoyed completely - you loved it. You didn't regret anything as you didn't care about not knowing him. You just wanted him inside you, you wanted him to pleasure you, to make you feel good.

"Gonna fuck you 'til you're sore, you little whore." He unclasped your bra and threw it behind him.

Jerome made his way down - he kissed your , your collarbone, and stopped at your breasts at first. With one of his hands he kneaded your breast, his fingers slid along your nipple letting you moan softly. Pins and needles spread along your body with every time Jerome touched your nipple.

On your other breast, he licked your nipple, swirling his tongue around it, slightly nibbling on it with his teeth.

You whimpered a little, it already felt so good how he did it, you wanted more of it. Your core was throbbing already, you panties soaked, your need to feel him inside you increased rapidly.

Then he made his way further down, he kissed your stomach, his hands slides between your thighs to part them. He gripped the hem of your black leather jeans and pulled it down with your panties included.

"Already wet for me, huh? Just waited for me to fuck you." Jerome inserted one finger into your wetness and pumped, permanently curling up his finger - fast and hard.

You moaned - first quiet, then louder. You couldn't hold it back though, he just did it so perfect: always hitting your spots, using the right place making you just wetter. You core was throbbing more, almost aching. You wanted him to touch you, to fuck you, make you sore. Just the imagine that he was fucking the shit out of you make you more needy and hornier.

You felt he was inserting another finger into your entrance slightly stretching you. He was pumping faster and harder, more and more hitting your sweet spot. Your whole body was tensed not handling this incredible feeling Jerome gave you. You arched your back shortly before you bucked your hips. You couldn't control what your body was doing, the pleasure was too much.

You felt your walls pulsing against his fingers with every movement he was doing.

Your breathe became uneven, your sweat dropped down your forehead, inadvertently you rolled your hips against his fingers to feel them deeper inside you, and your legs shook. Your voice became higher as you moaned letting Jerome recognize you were close. He pressed his thumb against your clit rubbing it in circling motions to pleasure you more.

"Oh God, Jerome, I'm gonna-..." You couldn't even speak out your sentence, you came undone. Jerome pulled his fingers out licking your juices from his fingers.

You whimpered, you were so needy for him. You hated that he pulled his fingers out.

"Such an eager slut, aren't you? Eager for me to fill you up." He pulled his pants down, within his panties. His long member plopped out of his panties, already hard, ready for you.

Jerome's cock was throbbing, all his blood was rushing down his cock. You couldn't wait for it. Finally he'd stretch your entrance wide, finally you'd feel him inside, he could mess around doing with you everything he imagined.

You wrapped your legs around his waist pushing him forwars, right against your body.

Jerome positioned himself and entered the inside of you, immediately starting to thrust into you. You let out a sharp trying to adjust with his size and thrusting pace. Every thrust was giving you chills, your whole body was shivering, your nipples hardened more with every touch of his fingers in your body, your body cramped more when Jerome hit your g spot making you moan louder.

His face was buried inside the crook of your neck sucking and biting it. You knew, he'd leave marks on you, but you didn't care. You were all his right now. You wanted to feel all the pleasure he was giving you, no matter whether it would hurt or not.

You dug your nails deep into his skin as he hit your g spot - harder, faster, and oftener.

His grunts in your ear let you enjoy the whole act more. You knew he was grunting because of you, because you made him feel like that. You both rolled your hips in sync; you wanted to feel him deeper inside you, just you being around him. Jerome wanted to make you moan, make you cry out his name loud. He couldn't get enough of it. You moans were like music in his ears that sent him chills on his body. He loved it, he loved it when you moaned out his name and wanted him to go on harder. If you'd ask him, he didn't want to stop. This feeling of your tight warm walls clenching on his dick made him addicted to you. He could go on all day without a break, no matter whether it hurt or not - he just wanted to hear your moans.

"God, I'm so close!" You were close, your moans became louder, your body was more tensed, your core was aching, and the inside of you was throbbing.

But that was the moment when Jerome stopped and pulled out. You were confused and frowned at him. Did you do something wrong? What did he plan to do on you?

"You're not gonna come until I want you to, doll." With his strength he turned you around that you laid on your stomach "On all four kitten."

You bit your lip in arousal. You loved his dominance and how he commanded you around. But you wanted to tease him a little, so you decided not to obey directly. You wanted more him being rough with you, you loved it.

"Make me" you challenged him with a wink.

"Oh? Seems you're being a bad girl, huh?" He purred into your ear as he leaned forward suddenly smacking your ass. You whimpered in pain a little, he smacked it really hard. Maybe he left his fingerprint on your ass? Well, you hoped. You loved being marked, especially by him. He smacked your ass harder, letting you whimper more in pain. It was sending you chills and it turned you on imagining how he punished you for being a bad girl.

Then Jerome pulled you upwards that you were on all four. One of his hands was placed on your waist, the other wanted up your spine to your head to grab a bunch of your hair. Without any warning he thrusted into you and pulled on your hair, you body shivered through the more intensive feeling he gave you with his member.

You arched your back as Jerome pulled on your hair roughly thrusting hard and faster into you. You almost cried out his name loud but instead you but your lip hard not wanting that others hear you.

"I wanna hear you, you little brat. Everyone should hear you!" Jerome grunted fastening his pace drilling his member deeper in your wet cunt.

You literally screamed in arousal. Your whole body was shivering, a big knot was built in your stomach, you nails were dug deeper into the bed sheets. You couldn't handle the pleasure, this intensive feeling he caused by his deep and hard thrusts. It was incredible for you. You've never felt this big amount of pleasure before. Youve never wanted anything more than this. You didn't want him to stop at all.

Your walls clenched tightly on his member signalizing him that you were close again. You knew this time you couldn't hold it back, it was too much for your. Your core was throbbing and aching hard, your legs as the rest of your body shivered and you uncontrollably moans or even screamed.

"Oh, fuck! Jerome, I'm-..." You couldn't even speak out your sentence due to your moans that you couldn't hold back anymore.

"Come all over me doll." And with a few more thrusts you came all over him with a loud moan, and he did too.

You both collapsed on the ground being out of breath. You could feel your heartbeats, they fast and hard. You felt all your blood rushing up to your head. Your ears became warm and it felt like your head was pulsing, too.

You enjoyed this little break in total as you closed your eyes. Jerome was literally fucking the shit out of you - but you loved it, and you would let him do that again. He let you feel something you've haven't felt before, you couldn't explain what it was though. Maybe the big amount of pleasure? His roughness? Maybe you just liked him for his craziness and you kinda felt honored that he was somewhat interested in you?

You looked at him breathlessly. He stared at the ceiling having a little grin on his face. His breathing as his heartbeats were uneven though, you could really see it.

"Well done, doll," Jerome looked at you, his grin widened "Ready for the next round?"

[makkoskafanfic]

KakuHidan WIP fic teaser

This is part of WIP release March! A KakuHidan one for a change.

This is a Maffia - Modern setting AU but with special powers. I planned to write something like this... oh since I first started to ship KakuHidan some 9 years ago, probably. 

The idea came up again as we were rewatching Naruto last year and I got pretty far with it, before we reached the HashiMada arc and of course all the fangirl neurons in my brain got hyperfixated on HashiMada again. 

I have almost 10K words written of it, so I hope to continue one day, and not to let it go to waste. This scene is Kakuzu’s and Hidan’s first meeting. As such I would rate it M (or a strong PG13? I don’t really get the ratings) No sexual themes at this point, but there are a bunch of people getting killed, blood, gore, violence and Hidan’s dirty mouth. 

Strange to say after this, but I had fun writing this, hope you will enjoy.

Kakuzu secured the Harley and looked at the unassuming building he found at the address he was given. While it wasn’t in the best of neighbourhoods, it certainly wasn’t in the worst Konoha City could offer either. A sign in the window announced it was for sale and the faded advertisement above the door let him know it used to be a barber’s shop. All in all, not where he would imagine some crazed prophet performing his homicidal ritual. Well, his source assured him this was the place - the man knew Kakuzu didn’t take disappointment well, so it was unlikely he’d give him anything but a hundred percent confirmed information.

He walked around the building to a small alley packed with overflowing rubbish bins to find the backdoor. He pushed on it and it gave easily - it wasn’t locked.  It opened to a small room that once must have been used by the staff. It was mostly empty now, save for the empty shelves along the walls, a small desk with some old newspapers stacked on it, the large cardboard box underneath it and for the man sitting in an old office chair with one arm broken off. He stood up as Kakuzu entered. He took in his appearance, his leather jacket, his dark jeans, his mid-calf boots, the mask covering the lower half of his face, the biker helmet under his arm and he still somehow came to the wrong conclusion. He was just as tall as Kakuzu and more obviously muscled, which probably gave him a false sense of security.

“Here for a haircut? I’m afraid we’re closed for business.”

“Wouldn’t let you touch my hair,” Kakuzu grumbled. “I’m here for Hidan.”

The man’s eyes cut briefly towards the desk, which told Kakuzu what he needed to know. 

“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”

“No? I was told I need to come here to praise Lord Jashin and see the wonders he’s capable of.” He was also told some idiotic password that he didn’t bother to remember.

“The show has already started,” the man sneered at him, “no late joiners allowed.”

“That’s a pity,” Kakuzu took the helmet from under his arm, looked at it pensively for a moment, before smiting the man down with it in a lightning fast movement. There was a sickening, wet thump as it crashed the man’s skull. He wiped the blood off, noticing it got dented with annoyance. This mission was already proving to be a headache. At least there was never a complaint from Pein when he added his extra expenses for his damaged accessories.

He pushed the desk and the box out of the way, uncovering a trapdoor on the floor. A narrow staircase led down into darkness.

“A barber shop with a dungeon,” he muttered to himself as he descended. “What a circus.”

The light seeping down through the open trapdoor quickly dimmed completely as he took on the corridor. Always well prepared, he took a small torch from his inner pocket and switched it on. There were a few side doors, but he didn’t bother with them. As he walked down the corridor, the voices coming from behind the door at the end became louder and louder. He pocketed the torch and slid it open.

The people inside didn’t seem to notice his late entry. Kakuzu did a quick count. There were eighteen of them on the floor, plus two on the low stage - a woman tied to a chair, and the man he recognised as Hidan from what Pein had shown him.

First impressions were important and Kakuzu trusted his instincts. Hidan was loud, foul mouthed as he sprouted his religious nonsense and Kakuzu was taken by the deep intuition that he, for his own peace of mind, had to kill this man. He was trouble. 

He pushed himself through the small crowd, ignoring the men’s protest that he was blocking the view. Just a few feet away from Hidan he took his time to assess his opponent. He was young, just as Pein’s file said, face smooth, his half-naked body well toned. He seemed physically strong with his lean muscles, but not a match for Kakuzu’s own might of course. He was ranting about his Lord Jashin, something about his eternal gift and punishment of heathens… he was damn noisy. His voice was a deep baritone which could have been pleasant if it was quieter and if he wasn’t working himself towards shrill yelling as he got more and more agitated. The people around Kakuzu didn’t mind though - they were murmuring appreciatively, repeating some of the phrases, like “Hail Lord Jashin”, “Bring death and destruction, oh Lord,” “I swear to murder and destroy in your name”.

Kakuzu knew he was supposed to observe the whole ceremony to see the presumed powers of this preacher for himself, but he wasn’t sure he could stand much more of this. He could just shoot Hidan and see if he died or not. Not quite what Pein wanted, but it would do the job, wouldn’t it?

Hidan's eyes swept the crowd during his speech and Kakuzu made the mistake of meeting them. The dark mass was abruptly cut short. The crowd muttered as their leader fell silent, but Hidan ignored them. 

“Looks like we have a heathen, an unbeliever in our midst today!” he glared at Kakuzu, then suddenly laughed, pointing at him. “Kill him my children, let his blood flow freely as it pleases Lord Jashin!”

How the little shit knew instantly, Kakuzu had no time to ponder as the mob closed in on him immediately. Most of them were unarmed, but he spotted a few knives and what looked like a beer bottle broken in half. He kicked the first man who reached him in the stomach so hard he flew away to collide with the edge of the stage. He crumbled to the ground there like a puppet whose strings were cut. That gave him some space to work with.

His opponents were no skilled fighters, so even with their numbers against him, Kakuzu didn’t have a hard time. The magazine of his Sig Sauer held fifteen rounds, almost enough for the whole bunch. Kakuzu never missed a shot - he liked to be effective and he hated anything to go to waste. The rest he took down by bare hands. The men managed to land a few hits, even a couple of stabs, on his arms and chest, which enraged him further. They were ruining a perfectly fine leather jacket. 

He took it off and tossed it aside quickly when the last of his attackers fell to the ground with a smashed-in face. Blood was running down his left arm from a long and shallow cut. There were smaller wounds on his chest, though they were easily to ignore. 

He looked up at the two people on the stage who didn’t join the fight yet. The woman tied to the chair - unconscious, maybe drugged, so no kind of threat, and the annoying preacher. Hidan didn’t seem to be disturbed by the defeat of his followers. He had a long, sharp pike in his hand - he pointed at Kakuzu with it and he grinned.

“Lord Jashin blessed me with glorious destruction today! All this blood and the corpses! Thank you, Lord Jashin! I’m your forever faithful follower and will sacrifice this son of a bitch to you as well! His blood will seal the sacred…”

“Shut up,” Kakuzu cut into this annoying speech, feeling the beginning of a headache forming behind his brows. “One more word of this nonsense and you’ll end up in so many little pieces even your god wouldn’t be able to tell how you looked originally.”

“How dare you interrupt my prayer, you heathen fucker?!” Hidan shrieked at him. “You’ll die in the most glorious agony!” Like the obviously brainless idiot he was, he charged Kakuzu with a shrill battle-cry of “Lord Jashin”, holding his pike in front of him as if he was some misbegotten knight on a tournament.

Kakuzu waited till the last moment before he stepped to the side, grabbed Hidan’s wrist and yanked it above his head. Despite his cruising grip, the priest didn’t drop his weapon. He went fully berserk, getting caught like this. His shoulder gave a sickening, loud pop as it dislocated, but he didn’t seem to notice the pain. He brought both of his legs up and kicked out, aiming at Kakuzu’s crotch. He managed to turn away slightly, but the impact on his thigh and side was still bruising. He grunted in pain, cursed the little shit under his breath and raised him even higher up from the ground. 

Hidan shrieked in indignation and still didn’t let his weapon go. Kakuzu had to give it to him, there was something to be said for his tolerance of pain. He caught the preacher’s free hand as he swung it to claw at his face and took a firm hold on it too. Hidan swore, but was far from giving up.

He bit Kakuzu’s neck in an underhanded move and kicked him in the knees so hard his legs buckled. He allowed them to fall to the ground, pinning Hidan underneath his heavier bulk. He clasped his hands above his head, restraining them and kneeling on his legs to immobilise him fully. The Jashinist screamed vulgarities at him, thrashing wildly as he tried but failed to dislodge Kakuzu.

“Shut. Up” Kakuzu grid out, slightly breathless as he was fighting this utter madman. “You little shit, just stay still for a…”

Hidan spit him in the face, more blood than saliva, barely missing his eye. That did it. 

Stitches came loose on the underside of Kakuzu’s wrists, allowing the secret weapon of his body to burst forward.

“What the fuck…” Hidan gasped as the tentacles wrapped themselves around his neck and squeezed. After that only unarticulated, gurgling sounds left his throat. 

While Kakuzu found satisfaction in defeating his enemies, he always killed because that was his job or because that was the fastest way to achieve his goals and not because it caused him joy. This time however he found immense pleasure in the sudden silence. It was broken by pathetic, wet, choking sounds only, then not even those as Hidan’s lungs ran out of air. His trashing slowly quieted down, but Kakuzu didn’t let go until the last twitches stopped and Hidan’s eyes - a surprising shade of violet, now that he had the chance to see them from close up - rolled up in their sockets. 

He looked quite dead, with the foam in the corner of his open mouth, with his blood everywhere, but Kakuzu checked his pulse before he withdrew his tentacles to be sure. He rolled off from the still body and allowed himself to spread out on his back for a minute. His whole body ached, his clothes were ruined and he was in a foul mood.

“I’ll ask for a pay rise after this,” he muttered to the deadly quiet room. He closed his eyes - only to open them in alarm when he felt movement from next to him. He tried to roll away, but Hidan - magically back from the dead, the pike he never let go throughout his thrashing raised high - was too close. The preacher bore the weapon down, into his heart.

“Take that you rotten bastard,” he cackled and tried to yank the pike free, probably to thrust it through his chest again. Kakuzu grabbed it and didn’t let go. “You can hope they pay well in Hell, but I don’t think Lord Jashin will be kind to a heathen shithead like you! He will torture you for an eternity and reward me, his faithful servant with…”

Kakuzu breathed through the sharp pain, raised his free hand and grabbed his slicked back hair. He sat up and dragged him back, until Hidan didn’t have any other chance but to let his weapon go, if he didn’t want to lose a handful of hair.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch, it hurts you shitty fuck! Let my hair go!”

Kakuzu yanked the metal rod out from his heart, wincing at the pain. He could feel his threads moving under his skin, stitching the gaping would back up. Losing two hearts under a week. Maybe he was getting old. 

“You should be busy being dead,” he told the priest. “And as such not concerned about your hair.”

“Fuck you, my hair looks too good to be touched by the likes of you!”

“It’s a horrible dye. This must have been a shithole of a barber shop.”

“As if you are the one to talk! When did you get a cut last time? Never? And what’s with that fucking mask? Is it the flu season or what?”

“Shut up,” Kakuzu said with resignation as he knew now it was in vain. 

“You shut up. Why are you not dead, anyway?”

“Because we are both out of luck today.”

He stood up and experimentally let Hidan’s hair go. The priest got to his feet as well, examining him with his head tilted to the side. He then looked around the room, at all the scattered bodies lying around and sighed.

“This was the best mass I ever celebrated,” he said dreamily. “Was I mistaken? Are you sent by Lord Jashin?”

“No,” Kakuzu snorted at this absurdity. “I was sent by the Akatsuki. The Leader heard of your special… ability and wanted me to recruit you to our ranks.”

“What the fuck is the Akatuski?”

Kakuzu looked at him silently, pondering the probability of someone living in Konoha and never hearing about its most powerful criminal organisation. Hidan looked honestly clueless. An immortal idiot. Wonderful. 

“A place that would offer someone like you many possibilities. You get jobs done and it will treat you well.”

“I only want to spread the word of Lord Jashin and live to please him.”

“You want people to listen to you? Or you want to kill them? The Akatsuki will help you with both.”

 “Are there more people like you?” 

“There are some… not ordinary people in the organisation,” Kakuzu said carefully. “Though not quite like me.”

“So only me and you are immortal?” Hidan grinned at him. Kakuzu didn’t contradict him - he wasn’t immortal, just very hard to kill, but he didn’t need to give the advantage of knowing that. It seemed he was being successful in his recruitment. He wasn’t quite convinced it was a good thing. “So what now?”

“I am to present you to our Leader in two days. You’ll come with me, so I can keep an eye on you till then.”

Hidan looked around and shrugged.

“It’s not as if I have any followers alive at the moment. I guess I can go and see that Akatsuki bloke with you. Who are you, by the way?”

“I’m Kakuzu.”

“Kakuzu, ehh? Is that a last name or a first name?”

“It’s a name,” Kakuzu snapped irritably. “You can call me by it.”

“All right then, Ka-ku-zu,” Hidan grinned as he dragged his name out in an inane sing-song. “I’m Hidan.”

“I know,” he sighed with resignation. “Go and grab whatever you need and let’s head out.”

Hidan muttered something about his sacrifice and went to finish the woman off, probably. Kakuzu changed the magazine in his gun and made sure that they left nothing but dead bodies behind. They needed no potential eye witnesses. He didn’t bother with cleaning up though - good luck for anyone who tried to find his fingerprints in any recent databases. 

He put on his torn jacket, re-tied his hair in its ponytail and waited impatiently for Hidan. The Jashinist reappeared at last, wearing a hooded coat, but still no shirt and a small backpack.

“I’m ready to embark this new journey Lord Jashin guides me on,” he grinned at him and Kakuzu was quite sure he was just trying to piss him on. He glared at him, but it didn’t intimidate the younger man at all.

“Let’s go then.”

[mulderist]

Fictober - Day 2

This list || Angst || Post-Orison || word count: 500

“That’s the easy part”

Scully walked with purpose down the Academy corridor. She opted for casual attire today; a simple black tee-shirt, jeans, and black boots. A drastic enough change that security gave her a second glance after checking her badge.

OPR requested that she be re-certified after the incident in her apartment. Her therapist seconded the idea. Scully went through the protocol with Skinner and soon found herself heading to the range on a Saturday morning. She grabbed a set of headphones, eye protection, and ignored the phone vibrating in her back pocket.

Her weapon of choice was a Sig Sauer and she checked the grip and site before deciding on a booth. The large paper silhouette was clipped to the rig and with a press of a button it zipped down the line. Scully lined up the clips and found her stance then removed the safety.

Inhale, exhale.

Her trigger finger pulled off six shots, emptying the clip. There were a cluster of bullet holes on the shoulders and neck of the silhouette. She hit a button and it zipped towards her. The page was unclipped and tossed on a chair behind her.

New page, new clip.

Her jaw tensed as she pulled the next round of shots; these were closer to the neck and upper chest.

New page, new clip.

As she readjusted her stance, her pocket vibrated again. Scully shook her head and readied her aim. With a steady inhale she stared at her target. The black shape stared back at her, she could feel the fear start to creep into her chest. She fired her sequence and screamed as the last bullet delivered the perfect headshot. Scully placed the gun down and caught her breath. She took off the headphones, letting them rest against the back of her neck. The target was taken down and she studied the kill shot. Her lips pressed together as she let it rest atop the other pages on the chair. She removed the headphones and held them for a moment before throwing them hard against the wall.

“Woah!” Said a voice from the doorway. Scully turned to find Mulder at the threshold with a hand raised. He then pulled down his ear protection.

“What are you doing here, Mulder?” She asked as she walked over and retrieved the Academy property. He gently approached.

“You weren’t answering your phone. I touched base with Skinner and he said you might still be at the range.”

“Did you talk to OPR too? See if I’m fit for duty?”

“Hey...”

“No. I’m not apologizing for this. That’s the easy part, right? To say I’m sorry and move on?” Scully could feel tears collecting in the corners of her eyes.

“No one is asking you to do that.”

“Jesus Mulder...I just...I just want to be angry.” She said as she brushed a tear aside. He nodded and touched her shoulder.

“Call me when you’re ready.” He said before turning away and walking back out the door

@today-in-fic @xffictober

[cassieuncaged]

OC: Nyx Biography Part 1: Black Dragon Ties

Name: Rachel Rogers (legally redacted)/Nyx (codename)

Age: 33

Gender: Female

Affiliation: The Black Dragon (formerly), Special Forces

———————————————

Appearance

———————————————

Skin Color: Alabaster, fair

Hair Style: long, it hangs halfway down her back

Hair Color: naturally blonde but dyed it half black and half white.

Eye Color: aquamarine. Wears red, black, and purple contacts

Body Shape:

Has an athletic, slim build with broad shoulders

Height: 5’7

Clothing: goth core, wears either black jeans or leather pants, a matching leather jacket, fingerless gloves, fishnet and mesh shirt beneath a goth rock tshirt (Bauhaus, Joy Division, etc,), and Doc Martens. Also wears a studded mask that covers the bottom half of her face.

Misc.: has an eyebrow piercing, a septum piercing, as well several on either ear (lobe, tragus, industrial). Wears heavy makeup, Smokey eyeshadow and purple lipstick

———————————————

Powers and Abilities

———————————————

Nyx doesn’t posses any supernatural powers. However, she practice karate and judo since was a teenager as well as Krav Maga. She is agile, quick, and elusive as a ghost.

Her weapons include a Sig MPX K with a silencer as well as a throwing knife occasionally as well using her Ducati to literally run over her competition.

———————————————

Personality

———————————————

Likes

Playing video games

Moshing at metal concerts

Pepperoni pizza

Rodents and reptiles

Getting tattoos and piercings

Dislikes

Kano

Being bossed around

Her job as a hired gun

Big crowds

Personality Traits

Clever

Adaptable

Independent

Fear(s)

That everything in her life was meaningless and that she’s only a killing machine with no other prospects

Those she cares about dying because of her

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Backstory

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Born Rachel Rogers on June 6th 1990, Rogers was the first born to Jill and Michael. Her early years were filled comfort and stability fueled by loving parents.

However, Michael was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer shortly after the birth of their second child, Noah. The family spent a lot of times in and out of hospitals until Michael passed away.

Rachel was devastated and became averse to hospitals because of the experience. She was quiet as a child and spent most of her time playing old computer adventure games or reading about Greek mythology. Jill had to work multiple jobs to make ends meet and often left Rachel in charge. She became very protective of Noah and even defended him when he got bullied at school.

Because of this, she began practicing karate and judo and became very proficient in both. She received average grades in high school and enlisted in the military after she graduated from high school. This was in attempt to make money and help her mother with financial stability with government granted stipends.

It was then that she discovered how agile she was as well as naturally proficient with firearms. She moved to special ops. She was discharged from active duty after three years and struggled to readjust to the world around her.

Rachel began running with underground crime syndicates as a hired gun. However, her job put her family’s lives at risk. After meeting Kano in Los Angeles, he offers her a blank slate under the condition she works for him, no questions asked.

Desperate to start over, she accepts the offer of tabula rasa and begins to work with the Black Dragon clan under the moniker Nyx.

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[koalaaquabear]

The 5 hour finale live stream just concluded and y’all, it was crazy. It has been a wonderful several months with all you guys and I am so excited for April 8th and Junior Year. 

MASSIVE SPOILERS UNDER THE FOLD IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE STREAM YET. Here is my clusterfuck of a commentary. Enjoy!

Fantasy High: Sophomore Year Live Reaction -HOOT GROWL BABY it's time. I didn't react to part one but wOW that one was crazy. Get ready for EMOTIONS :'(( -SIG FIG RESCUE MISSION lol #ontour -well ok brennan that canopy shit is scary as fuck -murph is still looking like riz -Zaphriel and Ayda!!!!!!! -"HOLD ME BACK GORGUG" i love u emily -Brennan I stg -Ayda is Gorgug's dad lol -oh shIT they're totally in the cottage -heLL YEAH AYDA!! -oh GOD figayda kiss? exceptional. -if ayda dies i WILL throw dice at Brennan -ok brennan make me cry then -GET THE VAN GORGUG -gorgug truly is the greatest wizard of this age -#hugeblueguy -aww zac oyama i love you -"semi-fallen" oH dEar -gorgug texts zelda IMMEDIATELY i love him -amaZING thank you zelda -"ew, creepy, hate that" -zaphriel is the best character you guys, what a homie -i keep forgetting ayda can fly. like she has wings. i know that. -AELWYN! -nOPE someone is coming through the forest and if it's arianwen i will kill cry -HANGMAN???? -HANGMAN!!!! HIS DOG!!!!! -HANGMAN NO I LOVE YOU YOU'RE THE CUTEST DOGGY -adaine i love you baby -"the weak yogurt man" -what high ranking devil??? -fabian you're adorable -aww fabian has a puppy!! (i get that the hangman is eight feet long don't @ me) -that's the first "the ball" -lou can never have the highest roll -BARDY BOYS -oop kristen and riz time -tracker? i barely even know her -chills, brennan. chills -someone in the chat just said "so did skrank fuck zelda?" -intense muSIC -nononononononono -ragh, tracker, and sandralynn better be all right -ooo a sTICK -HELL YEAH RETURN OF THE RIBBON DANCE -"riz weeps" holy shit i love him -"something bad always happens when we go off together" -#RIZTEN -awwoOOOOOOO -ayda can fly too! -absolutely FUCK this bridge ABOUT 30 MINUTES -poor ayda -please say they're ok brennan -"put your tongue baCK in your mouth" -sANDRA LYNN NO -"what kind of arrows" "you know what kind" fuCK OFF BRENNAN -if baxter dies i will cry -wait faerie fire is a cleric spell..? absolutely fuck me -ok aelwyn let's fuck shit up -calling the bank in the middle of this nightmare forest lol -heLL YEAH ZAPHRIEL -luck check luck check luck check -"y'all are going to turn into dragons" -fabian straight up cries? what a fucking rich kid -NO WAY HE HAD T H E COIN??? -REMOVE CURSE BABY -"nnOOO!" lmao -ally and brennan are in the chat -kristen's religion is REALLY coming in handy -the name was turned into the night yorb lol -"how's that axe feeling?" "..pretty light ;)" i love him -ayda can lift the axe??? exceptional -FIG IS KALINA? ABSOLUTELY RAD -brennan has created a place where illusions are real and emily is holding him TO IT -"do you have a dongle?" incredible -EMILY I LOVE YOU! KALINA IS A YOUTUBER BABY -wretchrot is baCK baby -aelwyn i love that -"i am a low quality child" "yeah ayda you're a bad kid" -"hey bitch" emily axford is a goddess -im sorry cOURT OF ELDERS? -NO I WILL CRY -ROLL INITIATIVE TIME -go OFF hangman -ooo some high initiatives babyyy -zac oyama is my favorite ever -"trackerrr" -brian as soon as emily was threatened said "how dare you" -brennan you FUCK "i'm awake for all of this" FUCK YOU -fig and her mommy issues: an album -absolutely FUCK THE TREE GUY -kick that wood elf BITCH ABOUT ONE HOUR -fuck him UP fabian, shit in his gODDAMN mOUTh -"SPRING BREAK YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER" -pleASE BRENNAN LET HIM SHOOT HER WITH THE TINCTURE -spRING break this is for the corn god -okay nevermind riz is holding his action -i love the intrepid heroes they're adorable -"ice feast" fucking love them so much -yES the ball thank GOD -brennan..? -"her rage ends" tracker = barbarian -FIRST NAT 20 BABY -"IT 100% WORKS BUT IT 50% WORKED" -that's the second "the ball" -bOOOOOOO BRENNAN -mad plans for the tree guy -sorry, is his name crAFTME ROOTDRINKER? -oh ok it's aelwyn we're fine -cone of cOLD baby i love aelwyn what a babe -you absolutely hate to see it -ragh my baby i love you -SPRING BREAK -tracker nO PLEASE -TRACKER JUST CRIT OH NO -brennan is really good at acting this btw -wait 14 on a crit??? i mean oH NO kRISTEN, bOO -disPEL MAGIC BABY -ALLY BEARDSLEY YOU ABSOLUTE GOD -aww kristennn is babyyy -tracker nooo don't cryyyy -you've sAVED your GIRLFRIEND -"some of us have already done that today" fig the sHADE -ally simply musT get new dex -absolutely fuck that brennan i don't need that vampire pixie -FUCK IT UP AYDA -FIGHT ME IN THE SKY! -"does a 29 hit?" daMN zac that absolute SHADE -53 DAMAGE?? CHEJ IS SO FUCKING STRONG -"goddamn paper lantern" -absolutely fuck you brennan -nevermind gorgug and adaine both passed the con saving throw -"i don't like you" lou really gets personally upset about this and i love that -nO NO NONONONO aelwyn and tracker are down -FUCK IT UP ADAINE -gdi brennan don't do this to us -ABSOLUTELY FUCK THE TREE -fig is straight up gonna kill her mom -this is scary as fuck -HANGMAN HAS A BREATH WEAPON AND YOU DIDN'T SAY SHIT??? CHOKE ON GRAPES BRENNAN -FUCK EM UP HANGMAN ABOUT 1 HOUR AND A HALF -wood elf is DOWN baby hoot growl -kristen thinks the elf is gak lol -23 DAMAGE??? AC OF 25??? ABSOLUTELY FUCK IT UP FABIAN -SHENANIGANS TIME FOR MURPH -HELL SECRET AGENT TIME -27??? RIZ YOU'RE THE HOTTEST -third the ball -imagine the ball is secretly SO HOT without the hat -YES BRENNAN GOT A NAT 1 EAT YOUR GODDAMN DICE -sweEET -fourth the ball (they've all been Lou cuz of course) -incredible turn murph -kalina is SO GOOD at skateboarding -#bloodphoto -KALINA HAS 23 WISDOM? absolutely fuck me -oh hELL YEAH FIG COUNTER THE COUNTER -emily is doing some SHIT right now you guys (fear spell) -DAMMIT that high as fuck wisdom -sorry WHAT she rips open sPACE??? -BABY BETTER SAVE THE GODDAMN DAY -let's go BABY -"mMMHHHHnnN leET ME tOUCh ItT" baby is fucking weird -"baby vs mommy" i love you siobhan -aelwyn better not DIE brennan -riz baby let's get it -trACKEr -nAT 1??? kristen is unCONSCIOUS?? -HUMAN DETERMINATION!!! THE GRIT BABY] -wait aura of life is badass!! they can't lose damage?? -okay scrap that we're gonna TURN UNDEAD and then MASS HEALING WORD? absolutely incredible -gorgug has so much goddamn health -FUCK THIS TREE DUDE -KILL IT AYDA LET'S GO -"her girl's side" *in lou voice* okAY bRENNNAn -second nat 1 but both of them re-rolled -GEM!!!! -LET'S GET GORTHALAX BABYYYY -"BIG DADDY" -ayda is so turned on lol -KILL IT CHEJ OKAYYYY -fuck this centaur -i'm so nervous -puT THOSE DICE DOWN BRENNAN -"you're gonna drop." shuT UP -riz is fULLY DEAD???? -i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. -sHUT UP BRENNAN -baby is DEAD oh my GOD you absolutely hate to see it ABOUT 2 HOURS -nO NO NO NO NO NO NO PUT THAT CROWN AWAY BITCH -absolutely fuck me, the nightmare king is totally fucking back i hate myself -aww fabian is baby -hELL YEAH FABIAN SPRING BREAK -"i've lost one friend, that's too many" fabian is adorable -"that's a full ass miss, my guy" -sandra lynn just crit on chej :(((((( -14 damage is not very spring break of her (she did 28 but it was halved because gorgug is such a strong boyyy) -LET'S GO LOU -almost all of them are spellcasters wtf (only one who isn't is riz but he has a daily misty step) -fuck em up hangman -fUCK EM UP HANGMAN! d8 + 2d6 +8 i think -figaroth the unfaethable baby -THOSE ARE SOME SHENANIGANS FIG I LOVE IT (she's shattering the rubies to get a revivify diamond) -casts teleport??? aelwyn came here to FUCK -"i would love to teach you this spell" aww the abernant sisters liking each other is my new aesthetic -fuck em up adaine -you can hit the tree on a 12 babyyyyy -heLL YEAH 44 DAMAGE ADAINE IS STRONG NOW -kalina is not even that cool she just said "that's enough of that" in the most uncool way -2 down 3 to go! -omg wait it would be so badass if they could just remove curse on kalina -"Mr. The Insatiable" -ayda is such a sweetheart "i don't care if you want me to date your daughter but i do hope you love me" -"I LOVE THIS SONG" yes siobhan me too -on a DC 20 she got a 31!!!! consider my jeans creamed -SHRED BABY GIRL!!! -KILLIAN IS DEAD! RIZ IS ALIVE! -ayda is so turned on AHHH -I LOVE RIZ SO MUCH "am i interrupting something???" -fuck him UP chej! 3 hits, no crits -hell yeah mr. march!! oh sorry wrong series -a gROUP PROJECT i'm DEAD -someone in the chat called him "snac oyama" and you're rigHT -siobhan's straight fucking this tree UP -the spellcasters are like all out of spells at this point -fuck OFF arianwen. KILL YOUR MOM -"where's your father, aelwyn?" "last i saw, adaine killed him so *shrug*" i lOVE HER -FUCK THEM UP GORTHALAX -abolutely fuck the nightmare king -waIT GORTHALAX IS GONNA KILL THE NIGHTMARE KING -sidenote: fig calls gorthalax pops -dO IT BRENNAN kILL YOUR OWN BIG BAD -this treeant has GOT to be dead -NAT 1 on that attack?? SPRING BREAK BABY -no we haven't seen kalina in action brennan, and we do not want to -OH SHIT THE TIE! YOu just got FUCKed bRENnan eaT youR DICE -yeS AYDA ROAST HER -"GOTTEM!" -i'm sorry i just hallucinated, did you say 6 ATTACKS? -time to go VIRAL BABY -19 intelligence, 23 wisdom, 20 charisma for kalina? absolutely fuck me -riz just got kICKed! you absolutely hate to see it -GODDAMMIT -KALINA IS HOMOPHOBIC CONFIRMED ABOUT 2 AND A HALF HOURS -brennan be like "im about to kill this bird" -absolutely fuck me i hate this -let's go FIG -time to caTCH the bALL -murph has the same thinking face as riz and it's adorable -this is not very spring break brennan -DC 25 acrobatics check? c'mon faBIAN -29????? -fifth the ball (from the hangman) -"there's just something endearing about him" fabian loving his friends is adorable -absolutely fuck me that fire elemental is adorable -absolutely swaddle the ball -well hot take but fuck the nightmare king you guys -absolutely NOT brennan do NOT kill adaine you PSYCHO BITCH -PLEASE ADAINE LIVE -STRAIGHT DEAD? FULLY DEAD? FUCK OFF WITH THIS INSTAKILL SHIT BRENNAN -hell yeah ayda is back and kristen has the revivify diamond -aelwyn FULLY banished that unicorn -it's good to know ragh really doesn't want them to die -YES RAGH IS BACK BABY -fuck em up kristen -s/o to DND Beyond btw absolutely banger website -hell yeah mass healing word is awesome -clerics are GOOD you guys i should play more clerics -FUCK IT UP AYDA -SANDRA LYNN IS BACK BABY -skater chej is my favorite thing -aBSOLUTEly fuck the tree -i have no idea wHAT is happening ABOUT 3 HOURS -fuCK YOU nightmare king -i absolutely hate this battle but at least gorthalax is still standing -gorgug better split this gd tree -"what if we just kill kalina?" yeah zac it's that goddamn easy -brennan almost just fucked everyone -"does she want to borrow my teddy bear?" the SHADE -"MAKEOVERRR" i love you siobhan -this tree SUCKS -battlemaster is cool as fUCK SPRING BREAK -BARDY BOYS also i think that was a nat 20 -i can't imagine the thistlesprings watching the battle livestream and like worrying if gorgug is going to die -FUCK HER UP THE BALL -ABSOLUTE SHENANIGANS FROM MURPH! -with ADVANTAGE BABY -"has anyone seen my hat!?" keep it off baby you're HOT now -"mirrors negate mirrors" "i think oscar wilde said that" i love them -#hotrizweek? -holy shit fig is FUCKING THIS BATTLE UP -HELL YEAH KALINA ROLLS A NATURAL 2!!!! -hell yeah adaine is back and SO MUCH is happening that i'm like forgetting to write down my reactions -kill this woody motherfucker baby -the music is too lOUD -ok it's normal now -fuck em up gorgug -i'm sorry the chat is saying he did 90 DAMAGE?!?!?!? -KILL IT CHEJ ILY -fuck off brennan, absolutely fuck off -ABSOLUTELY FUCK OFF BRENNAN -gorthalax is FULLY DEAD? absolUTELY FUCK YOU -SAINT KRISTEN APPLEBEES -adaine has SOLVED THIS SHIT -god all the abernant names are confusing -fuck you kalina ABOUT 3 AND A HALF HOURS -BRENNAN I STG IF RAGH ENDS UP DEAD -hellish rebuke that bitch -c'MON faBIAN HIT that BITCH -wait is kalina a rogue and a druid? absolutely incredible -FUCK IT UP FABIAN -OMG THE HANGMAN BETTER FUCK THIS UP -YES THE BALL 31 DAMAGE -so the stream just ended. i'll say it again: absolutely fuck me -ok so we're back and kalina got fucked up -WHAT THE FUCK A NAT 20???????? YOU ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO SEE IT -ALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS -I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS AND NEITHER CAN BRENNAN -MAGIC IS REAL AND SO IS MY ALLY -i can't believe this. eat your GOD damn DICE brennan! -OMG ARE THE NIGHTMARE KING AND THE GODDESS ONE AND THE SAME? -THEY ARE! THE NIGHTMARE KING IS THE NIGHTMARE QUEEN -brennan is CRAZY AHHHHH -brennan absolutely stop this tension -28 insight. brennan is fucked -GO TOWARDS HIM KRISTEN -YES!!!! PLEASE SAY THIS IS A GOOD THING -ALLY GOT A NAT 20 THEY BETTER BE RIGHT -fear. is. not. real. -this is just like the ending of moana -NO WAY BRENNAN I LOVE YOU (you wouldn't believe it from what i have said but it's true) -this is intense i'm about to cry -you're meeting god and you say "is it too early for this?" -LMAO 5'9" -Moral of the story: IDK and that's OK -ok ally make me cRy -HELL YEAH NEW SHIRT BABY -i'm so emotional -"well oBVIouslY cASsAndRa" i wish every deity had names as normal and human as cassandra -fuck them UP cassie -i love that tracker's just like "uh... babe?" -love having god in your corner -no more hangman puppy :((( -RIZTEN are the CUTEST i love them "i love all of them, riz the most, we know this" -"we still need the crown for our grade" FABIAN I LOVE YOU -"counselo- former counsel- i'm an assistant :(" why do y'all think this man is hot -KILL ARIANWEN -"she tried to hurt me in my shattered state?" "that's her MO" aww adaine my baby -HOLY SHIT PLEASE GIVE GILEAR ALL OF ARIANWEN'S MAGIC -GORGUG YOU SWEETHEART I LOVE YOU -cassandra throwing SHADE -ThE vANdS -aelwyn throwing SHADE -AWW RAGH I LOVE YOU BABY brennan lives another day -"a big bug gave me a riddle" that is NOT what happened -aww the hirelings are all crying and i DO NOT stan -hell YEAH cassandra OH I STOPPED KEEPING TRACK OF TIME IT'S BEEN OVER 4 HOURS -hELL YES HANGVAN -i love you fabian -nO IS CHUNGLE DOWN BIM REAL? -maybe the real chungle down bim is the friends we made along the way -GARTHY i love them -arthuR aGUEFORT - absolutely wild -ayda and arthur is crazy -"snOGGING THE HEADMASTER'S DAUGHTER ARE WE?" -awww that is so smooth fig "you don't need to make me the most magnificent creature because it seems you already have" -ARTHUR PULLS THROUGH -garthy is a cutie i love how they care so much for ayda -oH FUCK ME garthy is ayda's child from her previous life -"your girlfriend's daughter fucked your mom!" goddammit siobhan i can't handle this -if they fail i will cry -CHRONOMANCY!? absolutely fuck me -"professor principal headmaster aguefort" -hell yeah arthur you're killing it -faelwyn? absolutely can't handle it -aww kristen is baby -jawbone and sandra lynn are ok? amazing -jawbone is the best character -"our parents are great" kill me why don't you siobhan -AWWW FUCKING STOP BRENNAN WITH THESE GIFTS -i just cried he wants to adopt her -"you're easy to love" jawbone is fUCKING me up -LYDIA BARKROCK what a badass i love her already -"a pheonix whom everyone she touches is reborn better" fuck off emily -gorgug is a cutie <3 <3 -ABSOLUTELY KICK SKRANKS BIRD ASS -GORGUG CONFIRMED FUCKS -riz is a dork i love him -who knew "you're so much like your father" could make me feel like that -GILEAR IS MOVING THE FUCK IN BABY -GILEAR WITH SELF CONFIDENCE IS MY AESTHETIC -aww jawbone gave ayda autism books? jawbone is the sweetest to ayda cuz OF COURSE HE IS -AYDA GETS HER SPELL!!! -Ayda's Comprehend Subtext is the cutest spell ever -adaine and fig's friendship is too cute -craig has always been down for everything. i don't know craig but i love him -YES HOOT GROWL HOOT GROWL I'M SO PROUD OF RAGH -"BAD KIDS FOR LIFE" RAGH IS A CUTIE -NO FAELWYN IS REALLY HAPPENING I CAN'T -fabian's laugh is so cute -i love how nervous fabian is -WAIT FABIAN AND AELWYN ABSOLUTELY WILL FUCK? -fabian's gonna get his KISSES IN -aww i get how hyped figayda is but they are truly so adorable -weLL EMILY AXFORD I WILL LET YOU HURT ME LIKE THAT -they said i love you :((( -tracker only deserves the best -TRACKER'S GOING TO FALLINEL? I LOVE HER -ragh is going too? gay road trip! -that's adorable -ABSOLUTELY NOT BRENNAN FUCK OFF DO NOT SAY THE NIGHT YORB IS GONNA BE THE NEXT VILLAIN -BRENNAN NO YOU BITCH I HATE YOU THE NIGHT YORB IS THE VILLAIN OF JUNIOR YEAR? -that was crazy. i cried, i laughed. i am fuCKING HYPED FOR CROWN OF CANDY AND JUNIOR YEAR GANG!