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trelkez · 2 years ago

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Things I enjoyed about Ted Lasso 3.08:

- Will and Henry - Beard and Henry - Richard tearfully saying goodbye to his camera roll - "woof" - password with two s's - Jamie in general

On the whole, though, I was pretty unhappy with this episode, so let's get into it.

1. Let's get this out of the way first, because this is one big part of the episode I wasn't mad about: the Isaac and Colin stuff. I thought the set-up was actually really effective: Isaac trying to force the team to be better people, being firm and supportive and a good ally to women (I was literally clutching my chest during that scene), and then the sharp, sudden drop when he sees the pictures on Colin's phone and storms off. This felt unfortunately true to life for me; being a good ally in some ways doesn't automatically make someone a good ally in others.

I'm hoping this is going to be resolved in the next episode in an uplifting way, because Colin needs it and frankly I, as an Isaac fan, need it. (I've been dreading this moment since Isaac's "that's gay" comment earlier on. This is a show about growth! I need to see that growth.) But I'm not too worried, because they haven't set up anything unresolvable here. I would do whatever the 2023 equivalent of burning your DVD boxed set is if they decided to give Isaac an unredeemed homophobic villain turn at the very end of the series, but I don't think they're going to do that. Conflict, sure; some needed growth, yes; but this isn't a show designed to suddenly pull the rug out from under you and tell you that people are bad, actually. In this one, very specific area, I have faith in the show to do right by us.

And on a sidenote: I've seen mixed reactions to Isaac getting on his soapbox about privacy and then grabbing Colin's phone and looking at his pictures without permission. I wasn't upset about it, tbh. They have been really consistent in showing how Colin defaults to toxic masculinity as a cover, and never moreso than here, where he tries to say what he thinks the average straight guy in a locker room would say and is then surprised to be called out on it. He implied he's going to be looking at the leaked photos, pushes back hard when he's told not to, slinks off with his phone - with every single part of how he acts, and especially with them knowing that Keeley's photos are out there, I would've grabbed his phone too.

What gets me about that moment isn't Isaac violating Colin's privacy, it's that Colin has so thoroughly drawn toxicity around himself like a shield that Isaac has no reason to trust him to do the right thing.

2. I know this isn't really a show about football, but it's still a show structured around football. Season three has been largely indifferent to that, and the lack of structure is really becoming a problem.

3. Nate and Jade are truly adorable, and that makes it all the more frustrating that they went so far with Nate last season and are now attempting to heal it through the power of "but he's a good guy actually." You took him pretty far down the path, show. Move him out of Richmond, and suddenly he isn't the cruel, narcissistic, handsy, life-ruining guy the show slowly built him up into? If this is supposed to be Nate returning to the light because he sees how terrible Rupert is and realizes where he's gone awry, they aren't showing Rupert nearly enough to get that across.

I don't want Nate to have to suffer forever for what he did, because this whole show is about flawed people getting second chances and finding joy and having people to lean on! But what they've done this season has felt like mid-season two Nate suddenly woke up and found out he was the manager of West Ham, and now has to bumble his way through fame while slowly realizing that the things he thought would make him happy are actually hollow without the people who cared about him along the way. Which is a perfectly fine storyline, if Nate had in fact spontaneously disappeared halfway through season two. Since he didn't, we're left with a season that is mostly just saying a lot, "but you still LIKE Nate, right?"

We're being asked to take it on faith that at some point, there will be a reckoning over season two - but for now, can't we just go along for the ride? If they had just let Nate apologize to Ted in episode four, that could have been part of a longer arc of character growth instead of - it seems like - the end point of the story. They could even have had Ted get swept away onto the team bus before he had time to respond, left it unresolved, and still taken a concrete step forward for Nate that is so far entirely missing.

Nate and Jade and their cute romcom scenes especially stand out within this episode. This ep violated Keeley as a plot device; remember when Nate kissed Keeley in the dressing room and we just moved on like nothing had happened? This ep has (at least temporarily) confirmed Colin's fears about the team finding out about him; remember when tearing down Colin's self-confidence was a key part of Nate's journey to the dark side? This ep has Ted taking his kid to Nate's game in West Ham gear; remember when Nate tried to ruin Ted's life? It makes complete sense for Ted, being Ted, to forgive (or tell himself he forgives) and move on without doing any actual emotional processing about it, but you can't ask the audience to do that too.

I was really worried about this after season two ended, knowing that season three was going to ask me to go along on a Nate redemption arc and not being sure how that would go. So far, I'm wildly unimpressed.

But Nate and Jade are very cute.

4. I am so tired of the Ted and Michelle drama, and I really wish I didn't know enough about Jason Sudeikis' personal life to be stuck seeing this as a guy throwing away his own titular character so that he can take shots at his ex-wife. There has been absolutely nothing to Ted's character arc this season except his angst over Michelle. The Dr. Jacob stuff is in fact really unethical and you can look at all of this and say, yeah, this really would send someone into a season-long funk! But why is it even happening? It's like all of the life has been drained out of the character. I for sure do not expect Ted Lasso to be happy and engaged all of the time - I made an entire Ted vid about anxiety and panic attacks and gloom! - but there are storylines about depression and then there's this, which is turning the show's central character into narrative dead weight.

The point at which Ted is so obsessed over Michelle that he's neglecting his extremely limited time with his son to try and stalk his ex-wife on her vacation - that's the point at which things have officially gone off the rails. Episode after episode I've thought, okay, now things are turning around. I really thought we'd turned a corner in Amsterdam, but somehow, things keep getting worse instead. Are we finally going to turn a corner now? Is there enough time left in the season for them to do anything meaningful with Ted Lasso the character at all, particularly given that this season is probably his swan song?

(And I’m not even sure if the feeling of things going off the rails was intentional or not! Did they know what they were doing when they put a story about Ted trying to PI-stalk his ex-wife alongside a story about a woman’s right to privacy? Is that an intentional contrast so we go, wow, Ted has really gone off the deep end here, or did no one do the math?)

About the only good thing to come from this storyline to date is Beard's Hey Jude interlude with Henry. Beard, you have some interesting ideas about what kids should do on vacation, but you are a very good friend and uncle.

5. And finally, oh god, Keeley. I don't even know where to start.

It really feels like they said, "you can have bi Keeley, but only if her girlfriend is obviously a villain who exists to put her through it on her way back to a man." That writing on the wall was why I was never particularly excited about Keeley and Jack.

Even so: in my wildest dreams I did not imagine they would do her this wrong. In what way was this ep's storyline even remotely necessary? The one and only thing it does that couldn't be achieved by other plot means is to violate and traumatize Keeley, and there is absolutely no reason to do that.

I know the episode was (co-)written by Keeley Hazell, who surely has some feelings about a model's right to privacy, and a lot of it does feel very pointed in that Very Special Episode way of commenting on how women are sexualized without their consent and impressing on the audience the importance of men standing up for women & everyone respecting the privacy of your partners, even after relationships are over. Other women won't defend you just because they're women, class solidarity wins out, internalized misogyny is very real - that all feels very deliberate. I feel like I get where this episode is coming from, and I can see the good intentions and desire to communicate specific messages behind it.

But, honestly: this is a mess. We always knew the Jack plotline was going to end poorly one way or another, but there were plenty of ways to reveal Jack as a not-great person without swerving into "your sex tape is your fault" partner blame. No matter its intentions, what this episode actually does is use a violation of a woman's privacy as a way to let male characters show off as good guys while a woman becomes a villain. It uses Keeley's suffering to advance plotlines she isn't even remotely part of, like Colin being outed to Isaac. It is, very clearly, setting Keeley up to lose her business - Jack was her source of funding; this isn't going to be a one-episode plotline. Some of these are bigger, structural problems rather than questionable one-episode script choices, and it gets me back to how I really just don't know what the show thinks it's fucking doing with some of these season arcs.

(Where is Rebecca? I'm not mad about the fertility storyline like some people are - it tracks for me - but why is she spending entire episodes as an expository device and plot advancer for other people's stories?)

And since I've seen so much back and forth on it: my assumption in the moment re: Roy was that he was trying to ask if the video was for him, if the leak was in some way his fault, and wasn't interrogating her about who she was making explicit videos for. But I'm ... also not sure that makes any sense (wouldn't he know if it had been for him?), so I may just be giving a lot of benefit of doubt here to avoid how otherwise wildly out of character that exchange would be. There's a difference between expecting characters to be good and unproblematic all of the time, which I don't, and expecting characters to stay loosely true to who they have consistently been all along, which I do. "Roy expresses himself badly" is not an excuse for the choices that went into that exchange; it was just bad writing.

Four episodes to go! Wow, do they have a lot of ground to cover before then. 😅

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #episode reactions

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casspurrjoybell-26 · 1 year ago

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Made of Steele - Chapter 15

*Warning: Adult Content*

After we left the party, I could tell Kit was trying brush off whatever happened at the 'party'.

I knew the moment I was invited to a party by Hannah, I wanted to say what I usually would and just say 'I'm busy' to get out of it but given the bizarre circumstances with her now liking a girl, I could not ignore it.

Whoever this girl was, Kit knew her and it was not just some random person either.

There was history there, history I did not have the right to ask about.

There is no question about it, from the way she behaved when she saw Kit, whatever happened between them both had ended badly, so bad that I did not miss the way she dug into him.

I didn't like her.

"Uh, Jamie, where are we going?" Kit asked, looking out the window.

Once I see where we were, I realized I had driven us to Dad's house in the hills.

"Oh."

I knew that my dad, Evan and my sister were home, now that Evan's movie promoting was finished, they would be home a lot more now, at-least until I leave for college.

"Sorry, I didn't realize," I cringe, pulling up to the gated driveway.

I pressed the unlock button for the gate and then turned to look at Kit, who was staring up at the house with wide eyes, like he was looking at something that was not there.

"Uh, is this, okay?" he asked, as I drove through the gate to the main house.

Was it okay?

I had brought friends home before and whilst most times it had ended badly, in broken awards from out-of-control house parties to most of my friends just being too uncomfortable and overwhelmed to relax.

Kit was different, he'll be fine... right?

"Why wouldn't it be?" I rolled my eyes. "We can skip inside through the side entrance, if you're uncomfortable."

"Uh, aren't your... dads' home?" Kit asked, closing the side door behind him then he moved to come walk beside me.

I looked at Kit and tried not to laugh.

"Yeah. Why? Is that a problem?"

Kit looked physically uncomfortable but I was used to this, whenever I would bring friends or sneak someone inside that I did not want my dad or Evan to meet, mainly because of how intimidating people get around them.

"I get it. My Dad's rich and Evan's famous. Just get over it."

"It's just... isn't it weird? I'm your teacher," he chuckled nervously as I turned and looked before I opened the back gate.

"Technically," I snorted. "If that worried you, you would've run away by now."

I opened the door wide for him to walk through as a smile played on my lips.

"Right now, you're not my teacher and in a month, I won't be your student," I point out, as Kit's bright blue eyes meet mine.

Kit laughed and with that, he followed me to the back door leading into the garage and once we got inside, I deactivated the alarm before security and my Dad notices me in here, with not only a guy but my school's temp.

I didn't know what I was doing driving here with Kit but now that he's here, I still don't know what to do.

This whole time I've been taking it day by day and because of that, I've never expected anything, as far as I'm concerned, he's three years older than me and just happens to be a sub at the school I will graduate from any minute now.

Once inside, I led Kit to the second stairway that led up to my part of the house on the second floor, the opposite side of the house to where my Dad and Evan's bedroom was.

Kit meeting my family is way too soon and even if that moment comes, what would I even tell them?

My already gay, happily married dad and my mom... who wishes for grandchildren at some point in her life.

Then there was the fact that I didn't know what kind of relationship Kit and I even had.

Was he, my friend? Or was this just two guys, fucking around?

I got to my bedroom and once I opened the door, I turned the light on and then opened the door and went inside, Kit following behind me and then closing the door behind him.

"So, this is how the other half live," he joked, as I slipped off my shoes and then unzipped my jacket.

I looked around and shrugged.

"Home sweet home."

I sat on my bed and watched as Kit left his shoes by the door, then come further into my room, his eyes taking everything inside of my room in like he was studying me in a way.

I found it amusing, usually whenever people came into my room, they're more fascinated by the fact that it's big and filled with expensive shit but Kit had gone straight to my bookshelf.

"Mary Poppins?" he turned and grinned at me, holding the special edition of 'Mary Poppins'.

"It was a gift. Impressed I can read?" I joke.

"Very," he laughed, before putting the book back and then walking over to where I sat on the bed.

"This was exactly how I pictured your room, you know?" he said, sitting down next to me.

Kit was not looking at me but at a notebook I had left on my desk that was next to my bed and before he could see what it was, I got up and closed the notebook and then put it inside my desk draw.

I forgot I left that out... fuck, did he see?

I look back at him and he's smirking, an expression that definitely says 'yes I did see'.

"Let me guess, not what you thought?" I roll my eyes, then go to sit at my desk chair. "I am human, not some fucking robot."

Kit laughed, his pearly white teeth and handsome smile visible as his blue eyes locked onto me, a familiar feeling buzzing in the pit of my stomach.

"Can you blame me?" he smiled. "You don't really let other people in, I don't really know anything about you so... this is a learning opportunity for me."

"I want to know more about you," he added, making me frown.

"Then just ask me," I said, looking into his eyes, making his brows raise. "You know more about me than most of my friends do but if you want to know something then ask," I sigh. "I'm not good at sharing but if...you want to know something, I prefer you get the facts from me."

He looked at me for a short while before grinning, then nodding his head.

"What's your favourite food?" he asked.

What a simple question, I thought, still, if this is what he really wanted to know, I was going to entertain him and his curiosity for once, who knows, maybe I'll also learn something about him.

"Potatoes," I said blankly, making Kit stare and blink at me. "Fuck off, next question."

"What... do you like about me?"

I almost choked on my saliva from how random the questions had shifted and from the look in his eye, I can see that he wants a genuine answer.

Why was he asking me that out of the blue?

"Your ability to make shit awkward," I scoff. "What kind of question is that?"

He shrugged and then leaned back on my bed, his eyes still on mine.

Shit, was he seriously expecting me to answer that? When didn't I even know the answer myself?

I felt like an asshole, at the same time I knew what I felt for Kit but then again, I wasn't going to rush into something that was so out of my comfort zone with someone I didn't know shit about.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked slowly. "Why would you ask me that after tonight, of all nights? I just met your fucking girlfriend, Kit," I sigh out heavily.

"Ex girlfriend," Kit said, his eyes hardening. "And why Not?"

Why not? Was he seriously asking me that?

"Because it's stupid. You're acting like we're dating or something. Why do you care what I like or don't like about you? We're just fucking."

The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them, the look on Kit's face had made the space between us seem bigger and the room smaller if that were possible.

"You're a real asshole, you know that?" Kit replied, shaking his head, then scoffing, he got off my bed and walked past me to my bedroom door.

"Why do you like me then? Everything you know about me you learnt it from online or from fucking high school students," I snap. "Or is this because of my face because let's face it, you don't fucking know me either, so what's there to like about someone you don't even know."

Kit turned and looked at me and just then I knew that I had fucked up.

"You're right, I didn't know you,but that's why I wanted to get to know you, not the bullshit about you online."

The air thickens between us and the room falls silent and as much as I hated myself for snapping out at him, a part of me didn't want to back down after feeling like he pushed me into a corner I wasn't comfortable in.

"I like you because when you're in the room you make me feel like I can be a better person, even if you are a fucking asshole."

Hah... seriously, what was he even saying right now?

Seriously, I must be going fucking crazy because I should just kick him out, I had already said shit I couldn't take back but then at the same time...

"Your laugh."

"Huh?"

Kit looked at me confused as I bit the inside of my gum.

"I like your laugh, it's... stupid."

I felt my body get warmer as the words left my mouth.

"Not stupid... stupid but... nice stupid."

At this point, I didn't know what I was saying and I so badly just wanted to bury my head in a pillow and scream at how fucking stupid I just sounded, confessing I liked his laugh...

'His laugh... I felt so fucking stupid.'

Kit closed the distance between us and roughly pressed his lips against mine, making it feel as though he knocked the air out of me by how intense and rough his lips felt against mine in that split second.

My hands went to his waist whilst his left hand buried in my hair and the right hand went to the back of my neck as our feet stumbled backwards until I felt the bed behind me touch my legs.

I fell onto my bed and with that, Kit fell on top of me, not once breaking out lips apart from the most intense and passionate kiss that I've ever experienced.

A thousand thoughts were running through my head and I ignored every single one of them as we started to peel our clothes from each other, one by one, until we felt our naked bodies touching one another.

I knew this was risky and so fucking wrong on many levels but every single touch from Kit just reminded me of how much I really didn't care, as long as I could keep this feeling for longer of him touching and kissing me.

As much as I tried and become an asshole in the process, it was all pointless now... my failed attempt to make whatever of this was with Kit nothing serious was now backfiring.

I liked Kit and not just his laugh but who he was and how he made me feel and that... that made me nervous.

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ohblushes · 5 years ago

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Jamie's aware that he's not always the most astute guy, but he can be forgiven for not seeing this one coming. Segs doesn't have that hot of a temper. The likelihood of him snapping on live TV because he's pissed off is so low on the list of possibilities that the PR team probably doesn't even have a plan in place for when it happens.

The time: morning. The network: Jamie can't remember, even though there are approximately forty logos in his line of sight. Jamie can't remember anything. Jamie has vacated the building. His brain folded itself into a warning siren that runs on solar energy.

It started like this:

"Now, I understand you two recently got into trouble from some remarks that might be construed as offensive," the host says. "While the Stars have issued an official apology, you've both remained silent on the matter." Okay, this is fine. They can gloss over this as much as Jamie, who still flounders in front of cameras, can gloss over anything. This is the fifth time a reporter has brought up the, uh, unfortunate wording that was accidentally caught on a night Tyler was wearing a mic, but they've mostly gotten away with it in that nobody has managed to ferret out the truth.

Except then the other host jumps in. "Surely as professional athletes, you understand that these homophobic slurs set a bad example," she says.

"Of course," Tyler says.

"Do you really?" the other host presses.

"Yes," Tyler says, and then he says, "You know what? No."

"Are you saying that you have something against the LGBT community?" the host claps back.

"No," Tyler says, "I'm saying that it's a slur when you say it. It's not a slur when I say it about myself, because I'm actually queer."

Oh god.

"...Excuse me?" One host looks startled, the other like she thinks Tyler's making a joke.

"You heard me," Tyler says. "I'm queer. In fact, so is Jamie. In FACT, we've been shacked up together for five years. IN FACT, Jamie has a ring hidden in his sock drawer."

Jamie can feel his head swivel like he's an animatronic at Disney World. In another example of the two of them picking the contextually worst place possible for any given conversation, his mouth says, "How do you know about that?"

"You hid it in your sock drawer, dude," Tyler says, and then he turns back to the camera. "We were going to wait until we retired or won the Stanley Cup or whatever, but screw it." Jamie's whole hand has crept up to cover his face, which is just as red as the alarms going off in his head, so he feels rather than sees Tyler slouch back and throw his arm around the back of Jamie's chair.

"...Okay," says host number one, his voice very faint.

"Also," Tyler adds, because apparently that isn't enough, "if anyone thinks they can come at us on the ice: you're an idiot and my fiancé can take you."

"Tyler," Jamie says, "I haven't even asked you yet."

#post tag #fic tag #the WOOOOOOOORRRRRST #remember a week ago when i was like 'i don't even go here'#remember a month ago when i was like 'hockey? what is hockey?'#bennguin #stars #i guess in this world tyler identifies as queer or bi #and jamie is gay but rolls with whatever #stars fic

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iwanthermidnightz · 3 years ago

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In this exclusive essay from the buzzy new book Girls Can Kiss Now, writer Jill Gutowitz walks you through the current lesbian canon, as it stands.

Nowadays, queer teens have no idea how good they have it, with their lesbian-outfit Instagram accounts and their dreary homophobia movies and their JoJo Siwas. Back in my day (2003), finding something gay to be horny over was like navigating the Oregon Trail. You’d have to run home from school and sit in front of the TV for hours waiting for the “Me Against the Music” video to play on MTV just so you could get a sliver of gay, and that would be your only shot at seeing gay that whole day. No quietly streaming Netflix on your laptop in your room, no saving photos of Cara Delevingne and Selena Gomez showering together to camera roll, no “every Jamie and Dani scene in The Haunting of Bly Manor” compilation video on YouTube. Just a single queer bait moment of the day with absolutely no idea when it would come or ability to plan for it. Just sit and wait for Britney and Madonna to flirt. Oh, you have to go to the bathroom? What if you miss it? No, you’ll be fine, just go. You missed it. The flash of a moment where Britney pins Madonna against the wall and they almost kiss is gone. Sorry you ate too many SunChips and got diarrhea and blew past the only possible lesbianism you could find today. You died of dysentery. You missed the gay; try again tomorrow.

Yeah, admittedly, things aren’t “perfect” or even “good” today, given that 99 percent of lesbian movies are still about two women who hate themselves hiding behind a harp together and being like “I would die of tuberculosis for you" or whatever. But still, we have lesbian movies (and lesbian-outfit Instagram accounts and JoJo Siwa and YouTube compilation videos). The breadth of sapphic art, and what can be considered sapphic art, expands with each passing day. But in a vacuum of explicit queerness, generations of queer people were left with no choice but to celebrate the implicit. The instinct to collect the implicit—despite having an oeuvre of explicit queer art today—has not disappeared. And that right there, the ever-growing list of implicitly sapphic stuff that we’ve culled from the absence of gay, is called lesbian canon.

Quick explainer, if you’re like “lesbian canon, the whomst, now?”, “canon” is just another word for “official.” In fan fiction, the word refers to the “official” storyline that the fanfic is based on. But with so little “official” lesbian content in the ether, the concept of such has become an in-joke. Anything can be “lesbian canon”—a person, a television show, a concept, an object, a song, your DAD. If a queer woman identifies with or feels “seen by” an art, a person, a thing, then that item is lesbian canon.

If it’s still not clicking, I’ll give you an example before diving into the current lesbian canon, as it stands. The best possible case I can think of is Neve Campbell. Neve Campbell, as far as the official public records show, identifies as heterosexual. But doesn’t she just...seem really lesbian? And not even like in an explicitly “has definitely hooked up with women” way. But her energy, her essence, her breadth of work is so, so queer. There are other elements that could, of course, contribute to making someone or something lesbian canon. Like, Neve Campbell played queer in (one of the greatest movies of all time) Wild Things, alongside Denise Richards. So like, her work technically is or has been queer. But like, her character in Scream seems gay but isn’t...right? The way she speaks, the way she has bangs, wears tank tops, that she typically plays a tomboyish hot goth girl and existed in the ’90s—these are all factors that would lead me to believe that Neve Campbell is queer. But she isn’t! Neve Campbell is probably not gay. But she is lesbian canon.

That said, where are historians on this? Why is no one recording the thousands and thousands of things that queer people have declared lesbian canon for posterity? Years from now, when a teen opens a book hoping to learn what is or isn’t lesbian canon, how will they know? They won’t. No one else is doing this work, so I have to. I won’t call this the official official recorded list of lesbian items, but this is at least my official list of lesbian items. Again, these are things that aren’t officially gay but seem gay and thus are lesbian canon.

Liquids

Oat milk.

Vape juice.

Blood (all types).

Coffee.

Tea.

Hot water with lemon.

Elder flower syrup.

Anything lavender-flavored.

Rosewater.

Dakota Johnson’s brand of sex wax candles (once liquefied—if they’re solid, doesn’t count).

Fashion

Bad fashion: Vests. Tevas. Zip-off shorts. Shapes of clothing that shouldn’t exist and actually seem like a mistake.

Good fashion: Denim. Leather duster jackets. Dressing like you’re a hot vampire and/or in The Matrix and/or a Sith Lord.

Tracksuits (exist between bad fashion and good fashion).

The Elements

Water, Earth, Fire, Air.

People and Their Body Parts

Winona Ryder—wore a lot of leather and denim in the ’90s. Also, shoplifting because you’re bored is gay.

Eliza Dushku simply existing.

Shiri Appleby.

Jordana Brewster.

Sandra Bullock in The Net.

Julia Roberts in Mystic Pizza, Flatliners, The Pelican Brief.

Michelle Trachtenberg in Harriet the Spy and Gossip Girl.

Linda Cardellini truly just breathing in any movie or TV show.

Basically every brunette actress who was popular in the '90s/2000s.

Parminder Nagra (fucking obviously—Bend It Like Beckham is lesbian art-house cinema, as far as I'm concerned).

Lucy Liu and her lesbian paintings (Lucy Liu has, somewhat inexplicably, been painting and exhibiting sapphic art for the past few years but has never explicitly come out as queer—it's quite opaque, and being a mysterious artist is lesbian).

Neve Campbell at every age, especially with bangs.

#can’t wait to read this book #but you know she must have held back a few things from this list #shall we do a walk down memory lane Jill edition?

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marauders-venting · 4 years ago

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Gay Secrets and Fabulous Hair

pairing: jily (james x lily), wolfstar (remus x sirius)

genre: fluff FLUFF FLUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFF

warnings: minor panic attack

words: 4508

“What’s up, Evans?” Sirius said, coming into the common room and sitting on the couch beside Lily.

“What? Oh, nothing,” she said.

“Come on, spill,” Sirius said. “What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just Potter—”

“Ah, got James on your mind now, have you?” Sirius said, smirking.

“Shut up, Sirius,” she said, but she blushed and looked at her hands, giving her away entirely. “He’s just getting on my nerves is all.”

“Hmm, what did he do this time?” Sirius asks.

“Ok, this is going to sound dumb. But he won’t shut up about his hair and it’s giving me a headache. He’s just so self-absorbed. It was fine when I hated him because I didn’t have to listen to him rambling on about it all the time but now that we’re actually friends… it’s quite irritating.”

“Yeah, he hasn’t shut up about his hair for about seven years. Although I suppose I’m being a hypocrite right now cause, let’s be honest, neither have I.”

“True, true,” Lily said. “It just annoying, you know?” But she had a small smile on her face. She tried to hide it but Sirius saw it. He knew Lily fancied James. It was beyond obvious. But while she refused to admit it he could still have some fun, couldn’t he? Besides, it wouldn’t be long before Lily and James got together. He should take advantage of this opportunity before it’s too late. And he just had the perfect idea.

“You know,” he started, grinning mischievously at Lily, “we might be able to fix that.” Lily turned to him, eyebrows raised.

“I’m listening.”

---------

When James wakes up the next morning, Sirius is still asleep. Predictable. He changes and goes downstairs to breakfast but before he leaves the common room, a new notice on the noticeboard catches his eye.

Society for Witches and Wizards with Hair More Fabulous Than Life Itself

Exclusive invitations will be given to those with outstanding hair by tonight

If you wish to join and were not given an invitation, you may come to the auditions that will be held over the next two days and we, Lily Evans and Sirius Black shall decide if your hair is spectacular enough to join our club.

Again, it was predictable that Sirius would start a society for people with fabulous hair. But Lily? She was always going on about how James was too self-absorbed. This seemed pretty hypocritical. Although, in all fairness, Lily did have fabulous hair. James Potter, of all people, would know that.

All day, James waited for Sirius or Lily to invite him to join their society but neither one of them mentioned anything. Lily invited Marlene at lunch and she accepted, giving Lily a bewildered look until Lily whispers something in her ear and they both giggle and keep whispering together. James edges closer to where their sitting and tries to be as quiet as possible. Lily’s laugh was the most angelic sound James had ever heard and every time he heard it, it filled him with a sense of warmth and bubbly happiness and excitement. He knows that Lily doesn’t like him like that but he can’t help treasure these moments where he can appreciate all the little things about her that somehow nobody else seems to notice. Her laugh, her smile, her eyes.

James didn’t want to be in love with Lily. Loving someone who could hardly stand you was painful enough, but to become friends with her and realize that she’s more incredible than you could’ve ever imagined… that was a type of hurt James never thought he would experience. No, James did not want to be in love with Lily Evans. But it baffled him that there were people — living, breathing people who existed in this world — who had not fallen in love with her. James thought it was unavoidable.

He didn’t tell Lily any of this, of course. James had asked Lily out but she had turned him down. And that was it. He respected her decision. But that didn’t mean he could fall out of love. Because he was sure that it was love that he felt for Lily. True love or soulmates or whatever you want to call it. But this was it. This was the real deal. The only trouble was that it was only real for James.

It was nearly eleven at night when James finally asked Sirius about his invitation. He had given up waiting for either him or Lily to approach him and decided to just ask Sirius.

“I mean, I know we share a room but don’t you think you’ve waited a little too long?” James said. “Marlene got her invitation at lunch.”

“Um, Jamie, I don’t know how to break this to you but…” Sirius started, “you weren’t invited.”

“What?” James said. “But I have spectacular hair!”

“Just… come to the auditions tomorrow if it means so much to you, ok mate?” James merely shrugs.

The next day James still hasn’t decided if he wants to audition. On one hand, he knows he’ll pass the audition because, well, have you seen his hair? But on the other hand, he doesn’t want to give Sirius the satisfaction of knowing that James actually cares about his hair. Because he was sure that Sirius didn’t invite him on purpose. What other reason could there be? It certainly wasn’t because of James’ hair. That he was certain of.

It’s during lunch that James makes up his mind, after discovering that both Mary and Dorcas auditioned.

“They score you out of ten,” Mary explained to him. “I got a 7 but they said that isn’t a high enough score.”

“Don’t worry about it, Mary, you have beautiful hair,” James reassured her. Mary smiles at him like he’s a little kid.

“Thank you, James. I don’t really care, to be honest; I was just curious to see what they’re doing,” she says shrugging. “What did you get, Dorcas?”

“I got a nine,” Dorcas said.

“Good on you,” James says, clapping her on the back.

“Thanks, James,” Dorcas said laughing. “Are you going to audition?”

“Probably,” James said, shrugging. He tries to look nonchalant but he’s determined to go now.

When James finds the classroom that the audition is being held in, he knocks on the door.

“Come in,” says Lily’s voice. She and Sirus sitting behind a desk with quills and parchment. James enters and stands in front of their desk.

“Ok so how does this work?” he asks. “Do you just score me now or…?”

“Potter, you get a two out of ten,” Lily says, writing something down on a piece of paper. “Not nearly close enough to join. You’re dismissed.”

“What?! How? I have the best hair out of all of you!”

“Because Potter, your hair is messy and sticks up in odd places and it looks like you’ve never bothered to run a comb through it in your life,” Lily says.

“Sorry mate, she’s right,” Sirius said. He’s got a hand over his mouth but it’s clear he’s laughing.

“Wha— I… fine,” James grumbles. He points a certain finger in their direction and stalks out of the room, outraged.

---------

“Remus!” Remus turns around at the sound of his name and sees James walking towards him.

“Oh, hey James,” Remus says.

“Hi, Moony, my new best friend,” James says, swinging an arm around him. Remus looks at him suspiciously.

“What did Sirius do?” he asks.

“What makes you think Sirius did anything? Can’t a guy decide that no longer want a… a… annoying person as their best friend?”

“Really? Annoying person? That’s the best you can do?” Remus says, rolling his eyes.

“Give me a break, I’m not used to actually insulting Sirius,” James muttered.

“So what did he do?” Remus asks again.

“Did you hear about his and Lily’s Society for fabulous hair?”

“Oh yeah,” Remus said, laughing. “Oh. Did you not pass the audition?”

“It’s so unfair!” James bursts out. “I mean you and I have perfectly good hair.”

“Um, James…. I was, um, I was actually invited,” Remus mumbled.

“They invited YOU?!?!?!” James exclaims. Remus holds back laughter and nods. Benefits of fucking one of the founders of the society, I guess, Remus thinks. He nearly says it out loud but stops himself. James goes on to ramble about his hair but Remus isn’t really listening anymore. He’s thinking about Sirius (no surprises there).

If Remus is being honest with himself, he’s tired of sneaking around. He loves Sirius. He loves Sirius more than anyone. And he wants people to know it. He’s not saying they should go around broadcasting their relationship but being able to hold hands in public or make jokes (such as these) around their friends would be nice.

His whole life Remus had done nothing but hide his identity. When his friends found out he was a werewolf it was an enormous weight lifted off his chest. When he told his friends he was gay, not only were they all incredibly supportive, but it had given Sirius the courage to come out to Remus as well. That was how they got together in the first place.

Neither he nor Sirius had been ready to share their relationship with the rest of their friends back then. But Remus was ready now. But he didn’t want to push Sirius into anything. Sirius wasn’t out to their friends and if his family ever found out the consequences could be dire, even though Sirius no longer lived in Grimmauld Place. And Remus wouldn’t risk Sirius’ safety for anything. When Sirius was ready he would tell him. And Remus would wait. He’ll wait as long as it takes. He’d wait forever. Because nothing can compare, nothing can even come close, to the all-consuming happiness that Remus feels when he’s with Sirius. And he wouldn’t give that feeling up for the world.

---------

But Sirius was becoming tired of being closeted too. He used to be so afraid of leaving the closet. He felt the fear in his bones; it would make him shiver. It had been a safe place for him. Safer to hide his feelings, to bury them, than to risk his family finding out. Or worse, his friends finding out and hating him. But now the closet felt small and suffocating. Sirius was tired of hiding who he was. He was tired of it. When he was with his family he wore a mask of confidence and rebelliousness to protect himself. But when he was with his friends he had always been himself. Unapologetically himself. Keeping a secret this big from his friends, especially from James, felt weird and unnatural. But the threat of his family hung over his head like a vulture, waiting for the perfect excuse to strike, not only at him but at the Potters now too. And Sirius was afraid that this would be just the excuse they were waiting for.

---------

Lily and Sirius kept up the society for a couple of days before deciding that they had dragged it on long enough. They told the few people who had joined that they had been playing a prank on someone and thanked them for playing a vital part in it but it was over now.

Later that night, Lily was in the library working on her Charms essay with her friends, although they were doing more talking than working.

“Ugh, Lily, I can’t do this,” Marlene complained. “Please help me.”

“I can’t, Marls, I’m sorry,” Lily said, checking her watch. “I have prefect rounds soon.”

“You mean Head Girl rounds,” Alice corrected.

“Eh, it’s the same thing,” Lily said. “They’re equally boring.”

“Really? Even when you get to spend all that quality time with James Potter,” Dorcas said, winking at her.

“Shut up,” Lily said, blushing.

“Speaking of spending quality time with your crush—” Mary started.

“He is not my crush!” Lily insisted.

“You don’t really think we believe you, do you Lils?” Alice asked. Lily sighed in defeat.

“Fine,” she said. “I like him and I would also like to not make a big deal of it. You were saying, Mary?”

“I was just going to ask where Remus is,” she said. “He could help us with this essay if he wasn’t… preoccupied.”

“Yeah, he and Sirius disappeared after dinner,” Marlene said, smirking.

“Yeah, they’re not fooling anyone any more than you are Lily,” Dorcas said.

“Hey, I’m not that bad!” Lily insisted. “Am I?”

“Not quite,” Dorcas said, laughing.

“But that’s not saying much, Lils,” Marlene said.

“Ugh, now I really have to go,” Lily said. “But I can check your essay later if you want me to Marlene.”

“Lily, you’re an angel. I love you. Seriously, thank you so so much,” Marlene said, hugging Lily.

“Of course,” Lily said, laughing. “See you guys later.”

She hurried back to the Gryffindor common room to put her books away and find James. The first sign that something was wrong was that James wasn’t waiting to greet her at the entrance. Every day without fail, James would wait for Lily to be ready for their rounds, unable to hide his excitement. But today she finds him sitting alone in the common room, biting his nail and doodling on a piece of parchment while staring into the fire, seemingly absent-mindedly but Lily can that something is bothering him.

“Ah Potter, don’t be so upset about the hair thing, ok?” she says, coming up from behind him and ruffling his hair flirtatiously before she sits on the couch beside him. “It’s nothing personal. Well, actually no, it’s very personal but it’s all just a joke, right? It’s over now anyway. We called it off.”

“What?” he asks, looking at her. “Oh, yeah. I mean, no that's not why… you know what never mind.”

“What is it?” she asks.

“It doesn't matter,” James replies.

“Potter, something is obviously bothering you. If it didn’t matter you wouldn’t be thinking about it. What's the matter?”

“Fine,” James says. “It’s… I’m worried about Sirius.”

“Sirius?” Lily asks. She was confused. Sirius seemed fine to her. Happier, in fact, than he had been all of last year. Happier than he had been in a long time. She had thought that this was because he had left his family and moved in with James over the summer. But perhaps James had seen something that she hadn’t. “What about him? He seems fine, doesn’t he?”

“He seems fine,” James says. “But he keeps sneaking around at night and disappearing during the day—”

“Isn’t that custom for you two?” she asks, smirking.

“Yeah for us. But now he’s going alone. And every time I ask him about it he has the worst cover-up stories. I mean, there’s only so many times you can go to the bathroom in one day. I’m worried that he’s… I don’t know. He’s never done this before. I don’t want him to do something stupid and get himself hurt.”

“When you say sneaking around and disappearing… do you mean when he goes with Remus?” Lily asks, slowly.

“What?” James asks. “I mean, I never really thought about that. I just always figured Remus was going to the library to study or going somewhere with you or Mary or Alice. Like he does all the time. I didn’t think what they were doing was connected. Do you?”

“Um, Potter,” Lily says, starting to laugh, “you are really the most oblivious shit on the planet, aren’t you?”

“I am not!” James insists. Then after a moment, “what do you mean?” Lily rolls her eyes.

“I can’t believe I actually have to tell you this,” she says, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Remus and Sirius are dating.”

“What?” James says. Then after comprehending the words that Lily just said, he jumps up to his feet. “WHAT?” Lily starts laughing.

“How the fuck did you not realise that?”

“No way,” James said. “No fucking way. Sirius isn’t even gay, Evans.” Lily just laughs harder.

“Oh god, you really are stupid,” she says. “Fine, if you don’t believe me, go upstairs to your dorm right now, quietly, and see what Remus and Sirius are doing. If they aren’t making out, I will give you five sickles. If they are, you have to give me five sickles. Deal?”

“Deal. You’re delusional, Evans.” So they shake on it and James goes upstairs.

---------

The door is locked. James casts Alohomora non-verbally and creaks the door open. And there they are. Locked in a kiss, Sirius pressed up against the wall, his shirt hanging open, Remus’ jumper on the floor. James stands there, his mouth hanging open at the sight of his two best friends making out. Suddenly they break apart.

“James,” Sirius says, suddenly and Remus whips around to face James as well.

“Holy shit,” James says. “Holy shit. Um.”

“Oh god. James, we’re so, so sorry,” Remus said. “We didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”

“No, don’t be,” James said. “I’m sorry I— Sirius, are you ok?” Sirius’ whole body was shaking and his face was as white as a sheet.

“Sirius?” Remus said, turning towards him. Sirius just shook his head and bit his lip, hands trembling uncontrollably. “Come here, love,” Remus whispered. “Sit down. It’s going to be fine. I promise everything is going to be fine. Just breathe, Sirius.” James hurried towards Sirius and hugged him tightly.

“Sirius,�� he said, pulling back and looking him dead in the eye, “it’s ok. I promise you, I don’t care. I don’t care if you like guys or girls or both or neither. I don’t care. You’re still my best friend. You’re still my brother. You’re still you.” Sirius nodded and he seemed to calm down a little. He closed his eyes for a moment.

“Try to breathe,” Remus said, softly. He was holding Sirius’ hand, tracing slow comforting circles in his palm. James smiled at their joined hands.

“So,” he said, as Sirius started to calm down. “You two are dating?” Sirius nodded and Remus said a quiet, “yeah.”

“So that means you’re gay too?” James added to Sirius. “Or bi? Or something else?”

“I… um,” Sirius started hyperventilating again.

“It’s ok,” James said quickly. “You don’t have to tell me anything.”

“No, no, it’s fine, I just…” Sirius closed his and took a deep breath. “I’m pansexual.” James was silent.

“I–I don’t really know—”

“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t know,” Sirius said, nodding. “It’s ok, though, I don’t mind explaining. Basically, it means I like people of all genders. Like… I like them for who they are regardless of gender. If that makes sense.”

“Yeah,” James said. “Thanks for telling me, Pads. And I’m really sorry that I… y’know, walked in on you and freaked you out.”

“It’s fine,” Sirius said. “We meant to tell you anyway, we just…” He glanced at Remus. James nodded.

“You–you really don’t mind this?” Remus asked, biting his lip.

“Of course not,” James said. “I love you guys. You’re my best friends and I want you to be happy. And if being together makes you happy then I’m happy for you— wait, fuck!”

“What?” they asked at the same time, looking alarmed.

“No, no, it’s no big deal. Just now I owe Evans five sickles.”

“What?” said Remus. “You were betting on… what?”

“I told her that I was worried about you guys because you kept sneaking around and disappearing and she said that you’re together but I didn’t believe her. So yeah, she bet me five sickles that you two are dating.”

“Damn, I thought we were good at sneaking around,” Sirius said, shaking his head and laughing.

“You were,” James said, “but Evans is… she knows everything.” A dreamy look came across his face and Remus and Sirius exchanged a smirk.

“Proud of you, mate,” James said, snapping out of his daze and clapping Sirius on the shoulder. “You too, Rem.”

“Thank you, James,” Sirius says, hugging him, “for… you know. Being so supportive. It really means the world to me.”

“No, you shouldn’t be thanking me,” James says, hugging him back. “I should be thanking you for sharing it with me. See, that’s the problem with our world. Well, one of the many problems but those are to fix another time. Moony, come here, it’s group hug time.” Remus rolled his eyes but smiled as he joined the hug.

“Okay, um, I’ll… let you get back to… you know,” James said, gesturing towards the bed. Remus goes redder than James has ever seen but Sirius grins. James leaves the dorm and goes back to the common room, sitting down next to Lily, who is holding out her hand expectantly. James high-fives her and she rolls her eyes and smiles slightly. He fishes five sickles out of his pocket and hands them to her. She cackles.

“I told you so,” she says.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re always right and I’m oblivious and dumb.”

“Come on, Potter,” she says. “Time to patrol the corridors.”

“Ugh, do we have to?” he asks, pouting.

“Yes, Potter we have to. Stop complaining, I’ve been doing this since fifth year. And my partner got replaced with an annoying little shit so—”

“Rude!” James said.

“But true,” Lily said laughing.

“Ever heard of a white lie, Evans?” James says, smiling and standing up.

---------

They cover half the castle while making jokes and laughing, not really paying attention to whether or not students were out of bed or not until Lily decides she has to bring it up.

“Potter, what’s up?” she says.

“What?”

“What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter,” he said, shaking his head.

“Come on,” Lily said, poking him in the side. “I helped you with the last thing, didn’t I? You can tell me.”

“Ok. It’s just… when I walked into the dorm they were kissing. And then Sirius saw me and he completely freaked out. Like he really thought that I wouldn’t be ok with it. He really thought I would hate him or something. And… I don’t know. I mean, after everything he still doesn’t trust me?”

“James…”

“It’s stupid, I know. This isn’t even about me. And I’m not trying to make it about me, I swear. I just… I don’t want Sirius to feel like he can’t tell me stuff. He’s my best friend. I tell him everything and I want him to feel like he can do the same with me. I don’t want him to keep secrets from me because he’s afraid that I’ll hate him because of it.”

“Ok, first of all, it’s not stupid at all. I get what you’re saying. But you have to understand where Sirius is coming from, too. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you. He would trust you with his life, James. He does. But usually, it’s the people we love and trust the most that it’s hardest to come out to. Because we think they’ll accept us but there’s always the chance that they won’t, you know? And if they don’t, how do you keep going from there? It’s taking a big risk. Sirius just wasn’t ready to risk his friendship with you. It means too much to him. Trust me, James, it was the same for me when I came out as bi. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you. It’s that he loves you too much to be ready to risk it.” James’ eyes were watering. He turned away so Lily wouldn’t see as he blinked them away.

“You really think so?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah,” she said. “But you can ask him if you want. Ask him if you can talk about it.” James nodded.

“Thanks, Evans.”

“Any time, Potter.”

“You called me James before.”

“So what if I did?”

“You never call me James.”

“I know,” she says. “Don’t get used to it.” Then after a moment, she adds, “I still can’t believe you didn’t know they were dating. I mean you literally spend all of your time together, you share a fucking room with them for Christ’s sake.”

“How did you know?” James asks. “Did they tell you?”

“God no,” Lily says, shaking her head. “You really think they would tell me and not you?

“I suppose not,” he replies. “How did you know then?”

“Well Potter, see I have these things in my head called eyes that I use to see. And then the things that I see go to my brain, where I string two and two together. Although, I suppose you wouldn’t know about that seeing as you don’t have a brain.”

“Oh, very funny,” James says, rolling his eyes. “Really witty. Your jokes are worse than Sirius’ puns.”

“Now that’s just mean.” And they both laugh. Lily has to bite her lip to keep from sighing. Ugh, his laugh is just too cute! she thinks. God, this is so stupid! Lily knows that James likes her. She knows that. And she likes him too. So what’s holding her back? She thinks for a moment and then the answer comes to her. Nothing. In this moment in time, right now, nothing is holding Lily back. She stops walking.

“Evans?” James asks, stopping as well. “Why’d you stop? Is everything ok? ” She leans forward slowly, not breaking eye contact with James. Lily waits until she sees the realisation grow in his eyes as he realises what’s about to happen and then she kisses him. Her hands find the back of his neck and she pulls him closer as she feels his hands in her hair. And then his hands are on her cheeks but only for a moment before she feels him pull away; he’s looking her dead in the eyes.

“Is this another joke?” he asks. “Because if it is it’s not funny.” Lily shakes her head quickly.

“No, it’s not a joke,” she says. “I swear, it’s not a joke.”

“Really?” he asks, his hazel eyes lighting up.

“Really,” she replies, smiling warmly. “I just really wanted to kiss you because… I like you, Potter.”

“Is this a dream? I mean, it’s gotta be a dream, right? Because there’s no way you just—” Lily laughs.

“No, Potter, it’s not a dream,” she said. “I really do like you and we really just kissed.”

“I— I… wow,” James said. “I mean, you know I like you, Evans, I’ve liked you forever. I just never thought I’d be lucky enough for you to like me. I mean…” James sighs and cups Lily’s face with his hands. “I love you, Lily. I mean, you probably already knew that but… I wanted to say it anyway.” Lily smiles warmth spreading from her cheeks to the tips of her fingers.

“I love you too, James,” she said, moving her body into his.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks.

“Yes,” Lily nods. And he does. Lily’s heart raced in her chest as James’ lips connect with hers and she tangles her fingers in his fabulous hair.

a/n: the part where James says that he should be thanking Sirius for coming out to him and not the other way around is based on my friend’s reaction when i told her that i’m bi. so yeah she deserves credit for that cause she’s the best

also regarding the part where sirius explains pansexuality to james,, please know that i am not pan and the explanation is something that i found on the internet. obviously, every pan person has a different experience but i hope i portrayed this fairly. if something doesn’t sound quite right to you please let me know because i dont want to spread a wrong image of pansexuality! thanks

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supercorpkid · 4 years ago

Text

All love and pride.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Alex Danvers x Niece!Reader, Kelly Olsen x Niece!Reader

Word count: 2000.

Check out New Girl and Can you keep a secret? to understand this one better :)

“Wait, wait, wait.” Jamie props herself up in your bed and stares at you, looking lost and confused. “Why didn’t you tell me about the mall situation?”

“I didn’t want you to be mad at Maya.”

“Why not? She was terrible! I mean, I know it’s not how she feels, that was all an act for her mom, and I do believe she likes you, but-” And that ‘but’ comes with a slap on your arm. “How could you not tell me? I would have done something!”

“Done what?” You sit on your bed, crossing your legs, and Jamie mimics your action.

“I don’t know. Broken her arm? Threatened to murder her? Told her that I’m friends with Superkid, and that Superkid would totally leave her in Siberia in case she hurts you?” Jamie is obviously saying absurd things, but that makes you smile either way. It’s stupid, you know it is, Jamie is your cousin, your best friend, and you love her like a sister. Even though you two call each other dipshit and weirdo all the time, there’s nothing in the world you wouldn’t do for her. No lines you wouldn’t cross. But it feels good to know that she also feels that.

“Ok, no need to get all villainess on her.” You reassure her with a smile. “What if you had grown up thinking Luthors are the worst people in the universe? Which, by the way, we can’t blame them for it, my uncle did try to take over and then destroy the world a handful of times.”

“Not all Luthors are bad!” Jamie defends the name like it’s hers.

“Well, not all sharks will kill you.” You tease her, making her laugh. “Do you want to jump into the ocean and test it?”

“You’re too nice.” She crosses her arms. “How can you be so nice?”

“I don’t know. Trust me, I think it’s weird too.” You use your super hearing, then go back to Jamie. “Dinner will be ready in a few. Do we have to go by what we’re going to tell our family?”

“That you’re gay and I’m not?” She shrugs and you roll your eyes. “It will be fine; they won’t have strong reactions around each other. I mean, we all know your moms are terrified of saying something that will make my mami analyze them.”

“Aren’t we all?” You raise an eyebrow and Jamie gives you a soft chuckle in response. You know what’s going on in her mind. Telling them she is straight is probably overdue, since she’s been kissing boys for years now, but it’s still hard. When your whole family is composed of ONLY women, how do you tell them you have the intention to add a man to the girl’s club eventually? “Hey.”

You pull Jamie for a hug, and you feel her breathing out in relief by having your support. You kiss her temple.

“I love you. It’s going to be fine.” You feel one tear falling on your cheek, and you know it’s hers. You let go of her, and wipe her tears with your thumb. “They won’t mind. You know they’ll support you, right?”

“It’s not about support, it’s about expectations.”

“Yeah, I know. Isn’t it weird that in our family the default is being gay, and when you straight you’re the one that have to come out of the closet?” You and Jamie laugh at that. A straight person coming out of the closet. Now that’s something.

“Girls, dinner.” Kelly opens the door of your room, poking her head inside. You both agree with your heads. She sees you’re both too sentimental. “Is everything alright?” Jamie wipes her tears, agreeing again. “Jam?”

“It’s ok, mami. We’ll be there in a minute.” Jamie says and Kelly, the most comprehensive human being on the planet, knows exactly what she means so she closes the door leaving you two alone. If you were the one crying, you know for sure Kara would barge in, wrap you up in her arms, and not let go until all your tears were dried. “To the most awkward family dinner ever.”

Jamie raises her hand for a high five, that soon turns into your special handshake and she laughs.

“I love you, little Danvers. Thank you.” You open a smile and you two make your way to the kitchen.

“That they are!” Kara smiles at both of you, reaching for your shoulder and giving it a little squeeze. “Good to go?”

“Yeah.” You smile when you see her own smile, and Kara agrees with her head. Lena settles herself in one end of the table, and Kelly sits on the other. Kara and Alex sit in front of you and Jamie, after putting the food on the table.

“Hey.” Lena holds your hand before you serve yourself. “Eat some vegetables.”

“You too, Jam.” Alex adds and you and Jamie look at each other while rolling your eyes and smiling.

You two fall silent for almost the entire dinner. Sometimes you exchange looks with Jamie wondering a good time to do your revelations, but the moment doesn’t seem to come. That is until Lena looks at you, squinting her eyes in suspicion.

“You two are awfully quiet today.” Lena says and your heart beats faster knowing the time has come. You can also hear Jamie’s heart going crazy next to you, and Kara furrows her eyebrows looking at both of you.

“Is everything ok?” She asks and you know she can hear the symphony of heartbeats coming from your side of the table, so you can’t lie.

“Well.” You look at Jamie pointing at them with your eyes. Jamie does the exact same movement and you have a stare down for a few seconds.

“Oh my God, can someone say something already?” Alex complains, and Kelly holds her hand like telling her to calm down. She knows there’s something more. Of course, Kelly knows.

“Fine!” You say to Jamie and look at your moms and give them a little nod. “So, I don’t know if you all remember, but earlier today I got a text.”

“From Maya? Yes baby, that was less than two hours ago.” Kara jokes and you smile.

“Yeah, well. Maya is my girlfriend.”

First you hear a unison “WHAT”, from Kara, Lena and Alex. Then, you make up snippets of what they’re saying after they realize what you just said.

“You have a GIRLFRIEND?” It’s Lena’s take.

“Congratulations kiddo!” Alex’s reaction.

“Wait, how did I not know about this?” Kara’s huffs out of her mouth.

“That’s great!” Kelly reaches out to you, stroking your back lightly. “Do you want to tell us about her?”

“She’s cool.” You say, flicking your eyes to Lena’s confused expression and Kara’ stung one. “But, um, Jamie also has something to share.”

“Oh my God, are both of you in relationships and we were all unaware about this?” Alex asks and Jamie shakes her head, denying.

“No, I haven’t found a boyfriend yet.” Jamie says and both of you wait a beat until it sinks in.

“Wait, boyfriend?” Alex looks at Kelly with confused eyes. Kelly doesn’t look surprised at all. “Did you know that?”

“I kind of had figured it out already.”

“You did?” Jamie looks at Kelly, mouth agape. “I’ve been telling you guys I’m gay for years.”

“Yeah, no one can fake being gay, honey.” Kelly laughs her answer and Kara joins, momentarily forgetting your revelation. Alex elbows her and she huffs annoyed.

“Ok, whatever works for you, honey.” Alex finally reacts, and you look at Jamie with a ‘told you so’ expression. She smiles at you, and then at her moms.

“Thanks. Sorry for not saying it earlier. I didn’t want to disappoint you two.” Jamie says looking at her moms, and you raise your look at Kara and Lena, thinking you too are sorry for not saying it earlier. They look a little sad for only hearing your revelation now.

“What? Jamie! You could never disappoint us.” Kelly adds, reassuringly. Moving her hand from your back, to Jamie’s.

“I mean, if you kill someone, or turn into a supervillain I would be slightly disappointed.” Alex laughs and stands up rounding the table to hug her. “But for kissing guys? God, no. Never.”

Their hug easily turns into a family hug, and the subject is dropped for the rest of the dinner. It’s only when the three of them leave, and you and your moms are cleaning the kitchen, that Kara pokes your cheek.

“You have a girlfriend.” She says trying to look playful about it, but you know her so well that you know it’s just an act.

“Yeah.” You lift yourself up, sitting on the counter, getting a reprehensive look from Lena. She doesn’t make you move, though. “Sorry I didn’t mention it earlier.”

“Why didn’t you?” Kara leans over the counter next to you. Lena finished putting the rest of the food in the refrigerator and looks at you, too.

“I just-I don’t know.” But you know. It’s just impossibly hard to say it. “I thought you guys wouldn’t like it.”

“Why would you think that, baby?” Kara asks, squeezing your knee, and you look at Lena still silently staring at you. You stare back at her for a while and she sighs.

“It’s because of me.” Lena says matter-of-factly. “You were scared to tell me. So, you didn’t tell Kara either.”

“Is that true?” Kara looks at you, and you agree with your head, eyes still glued to Lena. “Why? You know your mom will support your choices. We are very happy you have a girlfriend, little one. Isn’t it right, Lena?”

“That’s not the problem, is it?” Lena stares at you for a while more. It’s so crazy the fact that you don’t even have to talk, for Lena to know what’s going on with you. Lena crosses her arms, raises her eyebrow just the slightest and you know she knows. “Who is she?”

“I think you know.”

“The girl from the mall.” Lena tries and you agree with your head. Kara lets out a loud gasp next to you.

“That’s why you were so quick to defend her!” Kara seems to have a revelation moment next to you, and you smile.

“She called you weird and you kissed her.” Lena is smiling hard, seconds away from laughing out loud at you. “Why is that the most Luthor thing you’ve ever done?”

“She didn’t mean it like that. I mean, she did in front of her mom, but-” You get down from the counter and go to Lena. “She can see past my name and she’s the first one that does not care about it.”

“She didn’t sound like it.” Lena says and you look at her. You really look at her. She looks like a worried mom. And not because you’re kissing a girl who doesn’t seem to like your name, but simply because you’re kissing someone, she knows nothing about. Her overprotective side is really shining through.

“Mom, I promised you I would never let anyone belittle me, or take my light away from me, remember?” Lena agrees with her head. “She’s not. She really isn’t. I know this is, um, different.” You look back at Kara when you say this, and she comes closer. “Can you both trust me?”

“We trust you.” Kara says with her hands on your shoulder.

“Of course we trust you, babygirl. And I’m glad she is adding up.” Lena kisses your cheek and smiles softly. “Because you know the rules of this house. It’s all love and pride, and never, ever, putting our heads down for who we are.”

“I know.” You hug her with one hand, and with the free one you pull Kara into the hug too. You three hug for a few good minutes, until you let go and look at their proud faces to you. “No following her around National City, Supergirl.”

“Aw man. That takes away all the fun!” Kara complains, making you and Lena giggle.

All love and pride, for sure.

Notes:

Thanks @sophixsa for wanting more Jamie into the stories. This was pretty sweet, I hope it counts ❤️💙

#supergirl #kara danvers #lena luthor #supercorp #kara x lena #kara x reader #supercorp daughter #supercorp fanfic #supercorpfamily #lena x reader #reader insert

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captain-aralias · 3 years ago

Photo

Fic’s finished - here’s some trivia!

Includes:

References to 90s RomComs

Writerly ephemera

Baz’s wardrobe / Simon’s wardrobe

A deleted scene

90s RomComs

In the prompt, Liz mentioned Four Weddings and a Funeral and My Best Friend’s Wedding. (And The Proposal, which honestly I’ve never seen, even though now I’m thinking I should.) I didn’t really go with the vibes because I wanted to do a break up, but I put at least one reference to these films in every chapter. For fun.

He was the love of my life. My North, my South, my East and West. (Chapter 1)

It also, horrifyingly, sounds a lot like that awful song Daphne made us listen to earlier. I can’t laugh, and I can’t sing. (Chapter 2)

The whole ‘forgot the rings’ thing is reference enough

I like him dressed for weddings. (Chapter 3)

He crosses his arms. Pretends to be unmoved, even when half the bar joins in (I tipped Shepard off) (he thought the plan was brilliant) even the lobsters. They’re waving their claws in the air. (Chapter 4 - the only reference to My Best Friend’s Wedding)

“The boy’s a liar,” someone barks from behind me. “Tyrannus Pitch has been dead sixty years and good riddance.” (Chapter 5)

“Simon,” I say. “I do.” (Chapter 5)

Writerly Ephemera

Amy had this lovely idea a few months ago: Find bits of yourself that you gave to your fiction (memories and places and phrases and things into our stories).

Usually, there’s hardly any of my life in my fic, but I stole a few bits and pieces for this fic:

My father got re-married when I was at university. I like his wife, but I barely knew her then - I just knew, she’s the woman my dad left my mum for! He asked me to choose a reading and I had literally no idea what to pick. Retrospectively, I should have said no, you choose, but anyway. I chose a bit of Jeeves & Wooster where Bertie talks about wanting to get married for some reason - both my aunts loved it, the married couple were completely bemused. No idea what I was on about.

Also, their recessional music was Whitney Houston. The theme from The Bodyguard. I’d originally written this as the Spice Girls, since Daphne would have grown up in the 90s, but then I thought of the end of Chapter 2 joke, and I was like - going to troll my father from this gay fanfiction, I guess.

It was really hot when I was writing Chapter 3. That’s why it’s very hot in this chapter.

Simon and Baz choose not to get married at the end of this fic - not yet anyway. In part, because I didn’t want to re-do Golden Years, in part because that’s the end of Four Weddings, and in part because I feel a bit like I’ve written Baz in this fic. I thought I liked weddings, until I thought about it properly ... (N.B. I think actual Baz totally wants to marry Simon, btw, and Simon longs for an official family. But I had to get to my ending, so here we are.)

Baz’s wardrobe

You can still buy a very similar McQueen blazer if you like. Which I like even more. It’s completely not my vibe - unlike the Harry Styles Gucci below, which definitely is – and it’s a thousand pounds, but several times during this fic, I thought... I mean, maybe?

There’s no reference for the burgundy suit - I just wanted it.

Simon’s wardrobe

He’s wearing the Leaver’s Ball outfit at Jamie & Beth’s wedding, followed by a suit that has no reference, but is based - in my mind - on one from RooBadley’s Use Your Words

I consulted Roo about Simon’s wardrobe for this fic - for one summer wedding, one winter wedding. They gave me these:

I really liked this second suit for Simon - so much that when I remembered Simon was the best man in Chapter 5 and should probably be wearing some sort of matching outfit with Shepard, I was like... to hell with it. He’s wearing this!!!

I switched the green for undyed linen. Roo and I also had this conversation, which I wanted to use in the fic but never managed to fit in.

aralias i'm just reading in the gentleman's gazette that it's actually OK for linen to be creased

RooBadley

I would very much love for this to be a fact that Lady Ruth reassures Simon with and Simon then repeats to Baz his one bit of fashion knowledge

aralias "the really pronounced characteristic wrinkles of linen are a sign of a sophisticated casual style, actually, Baz"

RooBadley Baz: Shall I spell those wrinkles out for you, Snow? Simon: Actually, creasing is fine and acceptable when wearing linen, Baz. Though'd you'd have known that. ~smirk~

aralias i like the way this dude has rolled up the trousers too - it's not a safari, it's hipster

Deleted scene:

After the success (I think) of the end of chapter 1, I started to think ‘maybe every chapter will end with some texting!!!’

I started writing this conversation for the end of chapter 2 before I’d finished it - almost unheard of - but then I decided I hated it. Very info-dumpy. I kept the homo-positive joke, as you can see, even though I’m not sure it deserves to be kept. 😂

“HOLY MORGANA. penny just told me.”

“I know. She called me as well. It’s some sort of visa thing, I think. And she thinks it will be helpful in negotiating back all the children he’s bartered away, if she can tell people she’s his wife and has a claim on them.”

“it was more romantic when penny told me about it. shepard asked me to be his best man.”

“Oh dear. Are he and Bunce going to fight over you?”

“obviously not. penny’s a woman.”

“So? I’m going to be Fiona’s Best Man. Or Man of Honour – whatever the term is.”

“yeah, but that’s different.”

“How? Choose your words carefully, Snow.”

“I mean, because fiona doesn’t have any other friends & her sister is dead (sorry). who the fuck would she pick if not you? penny asked her sister.”

“Oh. I thought you meant because I was gay. And like to wear flowers.”

“wtf. no. i’m not homophobic. i’m LITERALLY homo … positive. (is that a thing?)”

“I think you can just say gay.”

“i’m not gay, tho”

“Right. Well, this is awkward.”

“why?”

“baz? you know i don’t know what i am. and you know it doesn’t matter, because the only person I want to be with is YOU. even tho you’re a touchy bastard.”

“man of honour suits you. you should go with that.”

“Best man doesn’t suit *you* at all.”

“fuck off.”

“are you going to come to penny’s wedding?”

“Yes. Even now I know you’re helping organise it. Do you want to come to Fiona’s?”

“fuck no. she tried to kill me. unless you want me to. i’ll go if you want me to. i’ll even buy her a gift”

“I would like you to be there.”

“all right. send me the invite.”

that’s all, folks!

Four Funereal Weddings and an American Stag Do

#carry on #awtwb spoilers #my fic #my deleted scenes #my content

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novelconcepts · 4 years ago

Note

your hot takes in bly manor are honestly making my day SO: jamie and dani being direct parallels to peter and rebecca (peter and jamie both with abusive/tragic childhoods, rebecca and dani both being au pairs and falling for them).....let's discuss

Okay. I’ve been sitting on this since it came in, parsing it out, because it’s suuuuch a choice. Such a good solid, sometimes subtle choice to place these two love stories end to end. To have Peter and Jamie both come from low-income, low-class beginnings with shitty parents, and to watch them grow into such different adults. Peter, trying constantly to game the system, to pull himself up. Jamie, who has been through not only trauma, but also the therapy that was necessary after the fact, throwing herself as far into the opposite of the system as she can. Down to the way they dress: Peter trying to look upper class and rich in his suits, Jamie slouching around in whatever is functional and comfortable, not caring the least if there’s dirt on her face. They hold themselves as complete opposites, and they scorn each other’s way of existing in the world. Peter because Jamie looks like the help. Jamie because Peter acts like a controlling asshole.

So these women come into their lives, these women who are so similar on the surface. Both good with children, both nurturing, both smarter than anyone wants to give them credit for by looking. Both want to make a difference in the world: Rebecca wants to be a lawyer, and Dani just...wants to make some kind of impact. Both have been boxed in by society’s expectations. Pretty young women aren’t expected to be anything deeper. They both are running from that, and that leads them both to this house and this family.

Peter, now, Peter doesn’t do family. Peter’s home life sucked. Peter isn’t here to make friends, he’s here to climb the ladder. Peter wants nothing more than to be of Henry’s class, and is so resentful of being viewed as lesser. And that bitterness shapes his interactions with the family of Bly. He’s charming and fake and constantly throwing barbs at Hannah—and repeats it with Rebecca—about how they’re just the help. They’re not family. They don’t get to have that.

Jamie? This IS Jamie’s family. She’s scrappy and she’s rough around the edges and she’ll threaten to throttle a child, but she loves them. She loves these people, and she does have her own separate home, as Peter does, but she spends so much time with them all the same. Dinners and fixing things around the house that aren’t necessarily the gardener’s problem. And she’s been there for the kids’ performances, even if she rolls her eyes every time. She teases Owen and Hannah, she knows them, she lets them know her. No one is surprised when she and Dani fall in love. There are no awkward “what’s this gay shit” looks between Owen and Hannah about it. Just like Jamie clearly sees the chemistry between them, like you do when you love people and want them happy.

So Peter meets Rebecca and she’s...not a means to an end, exactly. She won’t help him climb. I do believe he loves her, in his own way. But it’s manipulative from the start. Point out the stain on her blouse, an instant flaw. Here, have some flowers—but I’ll give them to the child while looking at you. Pretend to be so nice and so good with kids, but as a show to make her interested. And even their first night together, he just...is lurking outside her door. We’re meant to think he’s a bump in the night, a scary ghost, until she opens the door.

Contrast with Jamie and Dani. Dani is instantly such a part of the family for Jamie that she doesn’t even think to introduce herself. You’re here, and I’m here, and why weren’t you here all along? Feels like you were. She teases Dani from the start: about being crap at making tea, about being American, about silly little things, but the first time she sees Dani in distress? She goes to her. She instantly tells her she’s doing well. And before that, she gives a glimpse of her own self: “I cry all the time.” Here is my vulnerability. I see yours, I give some back. Their first night together isn’t quick and it isn’t dirty and it isn’t even easily won. They’re slow. Glances. A brush of hands. Jamie staying over in the house to be close, like Peter does, but not going to Dani; she just sleeps on the couch alone. And there are conversations. Conversations about how Dani needs to take care of herself. About how Dani has felt pain and loss. And when Dani throws herself into a kiss, Jamie instantly asks if she’s sure. Consent all the way down, setting the stage for their whole life.

And even when they do go on that date, and Jamie does share so much of herself, and they do go to bed together—Dani wants her to stay. Instantly. “You could come back.” And Jamie gently, lovingly, says, “There will be other nights.” Contrast again with Peter grabbing Rebecca by the wrist. Dragging her back with physical restraint. Forcing her to stay. Jamie leaves for the night, with the promise that she will be back, and when she does stay: it’s forever. It’s on equal terms. I’m back, and I’m here, if you want me. If you want the company. You get to decide, too.

Peter? Peter tries to sweep Rebecca away. Quite literally. Tries to hide away with her in the forbidden wing. Tries to wrap her in upper class clothing he has no rights to. Tries to memorialize her in photos, keeping her stagnant, keeping her with him in a way that promotes no growth. He decides for the both of them how they will be: when he can be kind, when he can abuse her for innocuous actions, when he will sweep back into her life and pretend it never happened. He doesn’t invite her to America; he says he’s got a plan. He makes it sound grand and exciting, but never tells her he’s going to make her an accomplice to theft. And when he dies, he intentionally haunts her—hides her away in her own memories—lies to her to make sure he won’t be alone. Kills her, because it’s better than never having her at all. He takes all that potential and reduces it to a moment’s decision without her consent. And leaves her to feel it alone.

Jamie...Jamie is all about growth. Jamie is all about organic forward momentum. Giving Dani space to say no, to breathe, to choose. Giving her options. Maybe we can go on this adventure together. Vermont, maybe—but doesn’t have to be. I just want to be with you, in whatever way makes you happy. They make a plan together. And they don’t hide away from anything. She certainly will never leave Dani to feel pain alone. She actively, intentionally says, “I will feel everything for both of us.” I will never let you carry this alone. You are here. Stay with me, please. Not by holding too tight or twisting the narrative, but just with the simple love of someone who wants to be with their person forever.

And of course that’s why the way Dani leaves hurts, and why it’s necessary. She knows Jamie too well. Jamie would want to be dragged down with her, if it meant not being alone. If Peter would kill to stave off loneliness, Jamie would die for it. And Dani can’t have that.

This is long, I’m sorry, but one more thing: it’s not lost on me that Peter’s preservation of Rebecca is a static photograph and Jamie’s is a story. Stories have a way of taking on lives of their own. Of growing and changing details with every retelling. Of being organic beasts in their own right. A photo stays the exact same forever, until it fades away. A story? A good story breathes.

#the haunting of bly manor #the haunting of bly manor spoilers #the haunting of meta #dani x jamie #otp: dani and jamie #this got way out of my control but I couldn’t help it #and there’s obviously what we’ve talked about before with flowers but there’s just so much more than I realized until I thought it through #the whole story is so so intentionally parallel

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gatheringbones · 4 years ago

Text

[“O’Brien: How has it been, the “they explaining” and being out?

Bauer: You know so, for a long time, not for a long time. So after I came out I said that I was “pronoun challenged” and so I’d go to these meetings and people would sit in a circle and go around with their name and pronouns. And I don’t want to use she, but I don’t want to use he in my regular life. And I hadn’t really been using they either so I just say that I’m just “pronoun challenged” or “pronoun fucked”– just call me Jaime. And skip the pronouns, which you would think that almost nothing is more awkward than using they, but not using pronouns at all is even more awkward. So I tolerated, you know because most people don’t use your pronouns in your presence, they use them when you’re not there. I told Donna just use whatever pronouns you want, and I’m not there I’m not going to object to it. Because she had already told everybody in the world what I was doing and everybody that she knows, knows that I had top surgery and changed my name and all this so. But I really didn’t want to be in a political group or meeting all new people as well as some people that have known me for a long time and use she. So I really made a decision to use they, you know there is some special snowflake-ism to it but I’m more comfortable with it now than I was three or four years ago. And I really want to move away from she, and have people stop using she but I’m not really a he either. And so I just want people to gender me as me. Which is not so easy and is certainly almost impossible with strangers.

O’Brien: Could you imagine that opening up more in the future?

Bauer: So this gets back to the testosterone. So without the testosterone and being read as gender nonconforming as opposed to being gendered as male– although I get a decent male gendering, decent amount of that. I wish that it was as easy to wear male pronouns as it is to wear quote on quote “male genes.” And in this society it’s really not and so it feels, it doesn’t feel right for me to ask people to use he pronouns for me. Both because I don’t necessarily feel that he is the best option. And because again I’m not on testosterone, I’m not visually moving more towards– one’s visual looks should not have to match one’s pronouns 100% but it’s like do I want, how much energy do I want to put into correcting people’s pronouns for me and how much energy do I want to put into living my life?

O’Brien: I feel like how a lot of early 20-somethings have dealt with that is to just hang out in a gender queer centered community, right. To like form a subculture where non-conventional pronouns are intelligible to everyone. And to like not deal with the rest of the world.

Bauer: Yeah but that doesn’t work in real life.

O’Brien: Yeah.

Bauer: You know and eventually it will, and it’s like every year they gets a little bit more circulation and will eventually become something people stop thinking about. But I was– actually there was a little demonstration this morning Uptown at the Indonesian Mission about the 140 in Jakarta who had been arrested in a spa. And so I was talking with one of the guys there who is my age, a gay man, and he was like, “Oh, I know you use they but it just, it’s hard for it to roll off my tongue and I said, “Jay,” that’s his name, and I said, “Jay, do you want to be part of the problem or part of the solution?”

O’Brien: Well said. [laughter]

Bauer: And he was like, “I know.” I said, “you’ve got to– there was a point that people used thy and thou and now we’re using they and you have to roll with it.” And he’s like, “I know” and so like roll.

O’Brien: Why do you think that shift is happening? Why do you think we seem to be making some progress?

Bauer: So you know before, I said that there were all these people who were trans who didn’t transition, and I think that with so many people who are trans transitioning, that they are trying to find what feels honest and authentic, does not split up on binary and why should you use pronouns that don’t feel right, whether they are she pronouns or he pronouns? And why should you not transition because neither of those pronouns fits you? And so I think that it’s great for people to say, you know, whether you want to talk about a spectrum or continuum or a three dimensional space or whatever, to find the place they are in now with the understanding that that might not be the same place they’re going to be in in one year or three years or five years. And I was really concerned to change my name to pick a name that one went both ways, that felt comfortable, and that felt like I could live with. And the nice things about names you can either create one or you can choose from the million out there and the problem with pronouns is that most of the world only recognizes two and it’s not like you have to either be Dick or Jane, when you choose a name you’ve got but with pronouns– You know we have a very inflexible language.

O’Brien: Yeah. Are there other issues that I didn’t ask you about that you would like to talk about?

Bauer: No, I mean I think, I wish I could’ve done what I’m doing now back in 1989. I wish there would’ve been a way to do it and there really wasn’t. I mean, I would have had to create it myself. I think if I had transitioned in ‘89, I would’ve done a binary transition and I’m not sure whether that would have been good or bad. I mean I think I would’ve lost my job and lost my partner and had to have reinvent myself and start over and I’m not really sure that that would’ve been a good thing to do. I’m not really sure that it was necessary to wait as long as I did and I’m still really unclear why I had that snapping moment when I did as opposed to ten years before or fifteen years before.

O’Brien: You said you retired from MTA? When was that?

Bauer: Yeah. Like two years ago, but I’m still consulting for them.

O’Brien: And you’ve been able to, you changed your pronouns on the job, you said? Or your name?

Bauer: I changed my name on the job, but people sort of got, I mean some people asked me directly and I told them directly but it was like once I did that flip the name had to go and the chest had to go

O’Brien: Yeah.

Bauer: And that was really clear to me. And people were, by and large people have been very cool with the name. Even the people who have known me for thirty years and are over 50, and over 50 your brain just does not work exactly the same and it’s slow to accept changes but the one thing they did do on my job was every time someone slipped up, everyone else in the office would say “It’s Jaime.” Because they were so relieved it wasn’t them, who made the mistake. So I actually never had to correct anybody because the people around me corrected constantly.”]

NEW YORK CITY TRANS ORAL HISTORY PROJECT, Jamie Bauer

#Jamie bauer #act up #gender stuff #trans literature #history stuff #wasteland radio

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cattles-bians · 3 years ago

Text

exes au part 14

post directory

obsetress:

obsetress: viola

em: holy shit

em: i think viola could hold a truly ridiculous number of things in her hands

em: danis like i have a little fanny pack right here- and violas like (turns up nose) absolutely not

obsetress: pre therapy viola during her relationship w dani: buys dani a birkin too, is like "here baby, so you don't have to use that fanny pack"

obsetress: dani's like "oh. i, um. like my fanny pack"

obsetress: viola therapy era after her relationship with dani: buys her a hermes fanny pack instead

obsetress: jamie rolls her eyes but dani is literally

em: i think a lot abt viola offering solutions completely unprompted n then being really offended when ppl dont take her up on it

em: pre therapy obvs

obsetress: SAME

obsetress: oh link is gross

obsetress: cost is grosser

obsetress: but viola lloyd dropping $2550 on a fanny pack for her ex gf? chefs kiss

---

obsetress: ok just remembered viola slouching or leaning or w/e n like

obsetress: brain practically applying that to exes au and imagining when and where she'd slouch n everyone's reactions to htat

obsetress: bc like she has perfect posture but when she chooses to do it it's a power move

obsetress: and i. hm

em: yeah

obsetress: viola sitting up stock straight when they first get to brunch and as soon as she's ordered her bloody mary shes pulling off her sunglasses and dropping them on the table and just sinking back

em: how to phrase this w/o sounding too much like a whore

em: actually no way to say this but like i feel v strongly abt the way we make women take up less space wrt to knees together calves touching type deal and i think maybe

em: maybe viola can manspread a bit as a treat

em: hate that term but i cant think of a better one

obsetress: nah she does n it's hot

obsetress: just had this image pre divorce of viola and arthur at marriage counseling on opp ends of the couch n arthur's sitting v tight close and vi is just

obsetress: leaning and spreading a lil

obsetress: the first time jamie sees her do it she's so taken aback

obsetress: because she's NOT expecting it

em: jamies like ah ok late in life lesbian deal and then jokes on her viola is fluent in dyke slouch

obsetress: jamie immediately trying to suss out just how long viola has been fucking women

obsetress: she says to dani later "i thought she was all proper like" and dani's like "she is" and jamie's like "so wot was that then" and dani's like "well, people are gay, jamie,"

em: ghfjhgljkJFDASJKKJFGA

em: jamies like so wait how long HAS viola been

obsetress: jamie: so you were vi's first serious girlfriend right? dani: dani: jamie: right???????

em: violas been fucking women longer than jamie has lbr

em: i mean shes clearly only 35, jamie,

obsetress: jamie: so... vi... viola: hm? jamie: you're, uh, gay, right? viola: obviously jamie: right. well dani told me you've been dating women since–– viola: since i was 15, yes jamie: but you married a man

em: violas like u went to jail everyone does stupid shit occasionally

em: jamie: so how long have you been dating women viola: since i was 15 jamie: no i meant like. in years viola raises her eyebrows and jamies just like haha nevermind fuck

obsetress: she tried!

obsetress: she tried

em: jamie on her 35th birthday pencilling 'many happy returns' into violas ????th 35th birthday card

em: yknow i think

em: i think something's afoot

obsetress: jamie, giving up on the direct approach

obsetress: slipping in next to rebecca at the wine bar

obsetress: "becca"

obsetress: "hi, jamie" "hi. how old is your girlfriend"

em: am fucking losing it thinking abt jamie like. realising how much gay energy viola has

em: like taken ABACK

obsetress: fksljfLKSDJFLJ

obsetress: just like

obsetress: why are jamies reactions to viola so funny

obsetress: montage of jamie realizing how much gay energy viola has

obsetress: jamie watching viola sitting

obsetress: jamie watching viola pick up a variety of glasses and mugs

obsetress: jamie watching viola compare hand sizes with dani, jamie's girlfriend and viola's ex girlfriend who she dated for literal years and whose hand size she definitely already knows

em: NOT THE HAND SZIES

em: they go for a walk and viola immediately complains about the sun and jamie's like

em: i have a spare hat but ur not gonna like it

em: its a snapback that says daddy or smthn in gold, owen got it for jamie for her bday, jamie Loathes it

obsetress: BYE

obsetress: viola looks better in it than jamie does

em: jamie has that

em: am i attracted to viola? moment

em: it passses

em: she has already compartmentalised the weird psychosexual power play

em: queen of compartmentalising

obsetress: jamie: had another one of those moments today dani: what moments? jamie: where i thought i might be attracted to vi dani: well, you did let her fuck you... what was it, four? times in one night, so

em: jamie; yeah but like that aside

em: jamie 'thats neither here nor there' taylor

obsetress: she is the queen of compartmentalizing tho

em: i was gonna be like. 'jamies like wait i dont remember saying four' but. i think she would tell dani

em: because the flip of that is dani callin up vi n i dont think she would necessarily

obsetress: i think she would and dani would make her anyway

obsetress: well make her is harsh but

obsetress: dani would very curiously ask in very convincing ways

em: lovingly coax it out of her

em: dani: what if i fucked you four times in o

obsetress: dani: let me do five

em: viola probably wears so many rings jamie doesn’t even clock the ever present thumb ring

obsetress: jamie just. writes it all off

em: am laughing abt like. viola v meticulously taking off every single ring and putting it in its proper location before...

obsetress: there is something. so hot about that

obsetress: im gonna scream i think

em: i was just meming and now im thinking abt it and

em: truly played myself

em: actually this is me refusing to unpack whatever the hell theo crain gloves made me feel

obsetress: sdkfmsldjfa

obsetress: fair

em: sublimate it into rings

obsetress: i just like um

obsetress: thinkin about when she and dani are together and like

obsetress: it's intentional and everything has its place but vi also makes a show out of it

obsetress: and like

obsetress: she's SO painstaking about it and definitely makes dani wait a little bit and

em: helps dani outta her big ass earrings

em: i mean dani doesnt even Need the help

em: viola meticulous lloyd

em: i mean she just wears so much goddamn jewellry

obsetress: she can tell when dani's getting impatient and goes even slower

em: viola has like

em: viola is one of thos ppl thats really into expensive watches

obsetress: !!!!!!

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: nice lil canon nod too

em: she drags dani to antique auctions n danis like i cant. actually tell the difference between the real and the forgery and violas like (passionately explains it for like 30 minutes) and dani is

em: like shes mentally checked out but also v intensely watching violas hands as she points to the parts of the watch

em: rebecca gets it tho

em: rebecca Gets It

obsetress: dani shoving vi into the bathroom at the auction house and tugging vi's hand between her legs v rebecca grabbing her own auction paddle and bidding against viola for the same watch

obsetress: (rebecca n vi fuck in the car on the ride home)

em: dani grabs a paddle n mimes spanking viola n then the auctioneer is like '$250 to 201' and danis like aw Fcuk

em: violas like i cant take u Anywhere

obsetress: dani gives her the 🥺😌and viola's immediately over it and pulling out $250

obsetress: dani: i didn't even want it, i was just–– vi: i know dani: what am i even gonna do with a–– vi: i'll sell it for $500 at a private auction next week dani: so technically i'm making you money dani, grinning: it's like i'm your employee dani: do you have any more assignments for me, boss? vi: dani get your hand out of my pocket i need to focu––

#dj khaled voice another one #the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au

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blyflower · 4 years ago

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Dani walked up the small hill, legs hurting from all the exertion. The sun was hidden by the trees in the remote area but already her shirt was drenched in sweat. “When does this trail end?”

Jamie, who was a few steps ahead of her, gave her an incredulous look. “Seriously, Dani? We just started.” Still, she stopped to wait on her friend as she took a sip of water from her bottle.

“Why did you invite me anyway?” the blonde breathed out. Man, I’m out of shape, she thought. Her lungs were burning like hell. “I was perfectly fine in the confines of my dorm.”

“For that exact reason! You’ve been cooped up in your dorm for almost a week now.”

Dani got her own bottle of water from her backpack and took a big swig. “It’s almost the end of the semester which means finals are coming up. If I don’t pass-”

“I know, I know,” the brunette cut her off with a playful roll of her eyes, already knowing where her little speech was going. She's heard it countless times before. “If you don’t, then you won’t become the next Mary Poppins.”

“Teacher,” Dani corrected her, earning yet another eye roll from Jamie. “I won’t become one if I slack off.”

“Well, you sure won’t looking like the living dead. When was the last time you went outside?” Jamie pointed to her pale skin. She then got closer and made a look of disgust. “Or even took a shower? You stink.”

“I do not.” The blonde quickly pulled the collar of her shirt up to her nose. She didn’t smell that bad.

“You sure about that? You’ve been too busy studying that I think you’re forgetting about your personal hygiene. You’re going to attract the wolves with that stench.”

The blonde looked cautiously around the trail. The sun was still out, but it was a matter of time before it darkened. Who knew what type of creatures came out at night? “You never said anything about wolves.”

“If I did, I knew you wouldn’t agree to come.”

Dani got closer to her friend. “They won’t come near us, right?”

“I don’t know, Poppins. You smell pretty bad.”

“Take that back,” the blonde went to punch Jamie in the shoulder, but she scurried off before she had a chance. “And, for your information, I did go outside,” she called out.

Jamie stopped to take in the view of all the plants and trees before her. At the angle she was standing, the sun hit her face and enlightened her many features. “Did you now?”

Dani gazed at her friend a beat more before nodding, “Yes, I went out with Eddie the other night, remember?”

“Right,” Jamie put her hands in the pockets of her denim overalls, gaze dropping to the ground. “So, you won’t come out of the room when your friends invite you, but you will for Eddie?”

Dani frowned. She shouldn’t have brought up the subject. “Only because I knew he wouldn’t stop asking until I said yes.”

The brunette shrugged. “Whatever.” She didn’t hate the guy. She just didn’t like how he always tried to be by her friend’s side. He never gave her a break.

“Jamie,” Dani reached out, hand intertwining with her friend’s. “I’m here with you now, aren’t I?”

Jamie smiled, glancing down at their clasped hands. Realizing what she had done, Dani quickly retrieved her hand and continued down the trail. The brunette noticed a tint of red forming on the blonde’s face as she followed behind, but she made no comment of it. “How was it?” she asked instead, curiosity getting the better of her. “The date, I mean.”

Dani gave herself a moment to think back to that night. “Alright, I guess.”

“That bad, huh?” Jamie couldn’t help but smile at that.

“It wasn’t bad, just weird.” She had hung out with Eddie before, but always accompanied with other friends. Never alone with him. It almost felt wrong in a way. “After we left the movie theater, he drove me back to campus. Even insisted on walking me to my dorm. Then he leaned in and kissed me.”

“Blimey, that was quick.”

“The weird part was that I didn’t feel anything. I just stood there… I don’t even think I kissed him back. And I can’t help but think that maybe something’s wrong with me,” she admitted. She hadn’t told anyone that because she knew they would all tell her it was normal to feel that way. That she would eventually get used to it. But she knew Jamie wouldn’t. The brunette always gave her honest opinion no matter how harsh it was. “Everyone keeps telling me that he’s the perfect guy. That I should give him a chance. But I just-”

Dani was cut off by the feel of Jamie’s lips on hers. It was as if time stopped at that moment. The blonde’s heart pounded in her chest. Her knees got weaker. Was this how it was supposed to feel like? It didn’t even compare to what she felt (or what she didn’t feel) with Eddie. And all she could focus on was kissing the brunette back and getting as close as possible to her.

“Did you feel that?” Jamie asked breathlessly after they broke apart a moment later. Dani was only able to give her a slight nod, still under the effects of the kiss. “Then nothing’s wrong with you, Dani,” she held the blonde’s face in her hands, eyes staring into blue ones and thumbs caressing delicate skin, “You’re probably just looking in the wrong direction.”

Everything made sense then. Dani’s day getting instantly better whenever she met up with Jamie on campus. Her blushing uncontrollably when she threw her looks and smirks. Or her gaze always lingering on the brunette’s arms as she potted plants in her small greenhouse. It wasn’t simply because the blonde was fond of her friend. No, not at all. It was much more than that.

“Let’s carry on, then. We have a long way to go.”

Jamie continued down the trail as if they didn’t just make out a few seconds ago. Dani, however, stood in place. Did that really happen? She wanted to pinch her arm to make sure this wasn’t a dream.

“You’re coming or what, Poppins?” the brunette called out with her signature smirk.

Dani moved her wobbly legs and caught up with Jamie who began pointing out the different types of plants on the path, but there was only one thought in the blonde's head: Oh, god, I’m gay.

#i wrote this a while ago #dani and jamie #damie fic #bly manor

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lupin-for-president · 5 years ago

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My Top 20 HP Characters In Order (+ Explanations)

Remus Lupin: He’s all around an incredible human being that has went through so many things that would make any normal person bitter, but he is still kind and compassionate regardless. He helps Harry, comforts him, and fights by his side until the very end. And soft boy make my heart go whoo.

Sirius Black: He’s a badass that doesn’t give two shits what you think about him and will do whatever it takes to protect and care for the people he loves. Even after spending twelve years in Azkaban he was still a better man than half of the other characters could even dream of being. And I really just like a man in leather.

Regulus Black: This man would make me risk it all and I am not at all ashamed. He sacrificed his literal life in the attempt to stop —or at least delay— Voldemort, separated himself from his brother just to protect him, and carried the deatheater mark all on his own with absolutely no complaints. He’s a beautiful soul.

Minerva McGonagall: She is obviously just an iconic woman that will tolerate no bullshit from anyone at anytime and always has her students best interests at heart. She is a precious soul and I would die for her. And I really want her to offer me a biscuit.

Draco Malfoy: He did not get the redemption arc he deserved and I am still pissed about it. He fucked up along the way, yes, but even still he did everything in his power to try to do what little good that he could. He literally lied to his family about recognizing Harry and that says a lot by itself.

Cedric Diggory: This man chanced the fucking cup and gave his life just to help Harry’s smartass and if that doesn’t say enough about his character then I don’t know what will. He is by far one of the most selfless people in the entire franchise and did not deserve to die.

Fred Weasley: This man is one hell of a good prankster and an all around joy to be around. He literally lights up any room and always makes sure that his friends are smiling no matter what. Plus I think he’s kinda hot.

Marlene McKinnon: I mean do I even need to explain this? Marlene is a fucking angel and a lesbian icon and I have no choice but to love her. She gave her life to the order and didn’t show a single sign of weakness whatsoever.

Teddy Lupin: This little shit is a fucking fireball, punk rock (he gets it from Sirius), prank pulling, muffin baking, model of a man and no doubt has given Harry his fair share of heart attacks over the years. I would love to jam out to Def Leopard with him while we paint our nails.

Luna Lovegood: She is an angel that fell straight from heaven and that is a hill I will die on. She is the most beautiful person in the HP universe, and I don’t just mean on the outside. She always drops everything for someone in need and is never disrespectful and I love her.

James Potter: Jamie-boy has a heart of gold and did not deserve to be killed so brutally. The amount of love and compassion bottled up inside of this one human being is surreal and I can’t help but marvel at his sacrifices.

Ron Weasley: Let’s get one thing straight, I will not tolerate any hate toward Ron Weasley ever. Sure, he’s had moments where he was a total prick but so has everyone else. He cared so much for Harry and even stole his dad’s car to rescue him from his abusive family. He’s a damn good friend and completely underrated.

Scorpius Malfoy: Scorpius is a polite little godsend and deserves the fucking world. He is the polar opposite of his father except the part where they’re both hopelessly gay for a Potter and honestly just a precious human being. He definitely is the only thing that keeps Albus’ fiery temper in check and I love him for that.

Neville Longbottom: This innocent bean of a man slaughtered Nagini single handedly and if that doesn’t give enough explanation as to why I love him then I don’t know what will. He learned to roll with the punches and was never cruel to anyone.

Lily Evans: She saves her son’s life with just her love and I think that is fucking badass as hell. She made sure to put James Potter in his place and was always a best friend to Remus when he needed it most and fuck I love her.

Blaise Zabini: He’s mostly just on this list because I think he’s god level attractive. I also have a type for pompous dicks and at first encounter Blaise fits into that category pretty well, but I really do love his personality to be honest.

Peter Pettigrew: Yes, Peter is a backstabbing twat, we all know it, but I can’t help but love him. During his school years he definitely snuck food into the Gryffindor Commons just to make sure all the younger kids ate properly and you can’t change my mind.

Harry Potter: Harry is a sassy, sarcastic bitch and I absolutely love him for it. This boy faces death every year and just keeps coming back like it’s nothing more than a slap on the wrist?? Love it. And he’s also a chaotic disaster bi and that’s something him and I can relate on.

Seamus Finnigan: Seamus is really only on this list because when I was younger I used to be like, completely in love with him. Honestly now he’s only within the top twenty because he snogs Dean 24/7 and I’m not ashamed to admit that.

Severus Snape: Okay I fucking loathe Severus as a person, he’s an abuser and a coward, but as a character I love him. He is probably one of my most favorite villains (yes I classify him as a villain don’t come for me) and I refuse to accept his “you have your mother’s eyes” bullshit as a redemption arc. If Draco has to live with his burdens, you do too, Snivellus.

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mercuryonparklane · 4 years ago

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I just found this one-shot I wrote based on ‘betty’ that has been sitting in my notes since September. I thought I’d share, if anyone is interested in that. The characters belong to Taylor and her co-writers, of course. I just borrowed them for this fic.

‘Please, come over’

Jamie Mann stares at the text for far too long, watching those three little dots appear and, then, disappear once again. Betty hates sending more than one text in a row. Even more than that, she can't stand it when a message goes unanswered.

Still, Jamie can't quite think of what to say. Her mind flashes back to prom two weeks earlier and the boy who swayed Betty around the dance floor while she laughed at his stupid jokes. Betty told her that she isn't interested in boys, but damnit if she isn't very good at hiding that fact.

Jamie throws her phone down next to her on the bed and pulls the hood of her sweatshirt over her head. She fiddles with the strings of the sweatshirt until she hears the ding of a new message.

'I'm in front of your house. Get your ass out here and hop in.'

Jamie fights the smile on her face, but she can't help feeling a little less hurt in the moment. August was the kind of friend who could convince you to do things you would never even think to do. Like the time they hopped the fence at school on a Friday night to smoke in the softball dugout. Or the time August managed to sneak them into some gay club in the city. Or the time they almost ditched the cop trying to pull her over for running a red light. Okay, so maybe they weren't actually going to try to escape and maybe August's uncle happened to be the cop in question. But still...

Jamie grabs her backpack and puts it on as she heads down stairs.

"Where do you think you're going, young lady?"

"Mom, I literally just graduated high school last night and I turn 18 next month. I'm basically an adult."

Her mom pulls her into a hug. Jamie lets it happen for a few seconds before escaping her grasp. Mrs. Mann runs her fingers through her daughter's hair trying to fix it best she can.

"Hmm... that will have to do. Now, truthfully, where are you going? Yeah, yeah, I know you're all grown up now, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop worrying about you."

Jamie rolls her eyes, but smiles nonetheless. "I'm staying over at August's. She's outside waiting for me, so can I go now?"

"Of course, dear. Have fun."

"Sure thing. Night, mom."

Jamie heads out the door and jogs to the midnight blue '67 Mustang idling in front of the driveway. She throws her backpack in the backseat before taking her spot in the passenger seat.

"So, what's the plan?"

"I was thinking we could go to that party Betty Davis is throwing."

A lump forms in Jamie's throat as she tries to come up with some excuse as to why they shouldn't go. August knows that Jamie is a lesbian, but she doesn't know anything about Betty. It was not something Betty wanted anyone to know about.

As far as anyone at school knew, Betty and Jamie were acquaintances at best. Betty was head cheerleader and Jamie was basically a skater burnout. Betty was class president and Jamie wasn't even on most of her teacher's radars. Betty was going to Yale next year. Jamie was going to a state school. Betty came from money. Jamie's mom worked two jobs to send her to private school. They weren’t exactly the likeliest of friends and no one would ever guess they were more than that.

"Come on, please? Don't you want to know what the popular kids get up to on the weekends?"

"Nah, it sounds pretty lame. I'd rather hang out just the two of us before you take your little road trip around the county, which I still can't believe your parents agreed to."

"You should come with me."

"What?"

"We would have so much fun. Besides I'm a little scared about driving around by myself."

Jamie scoffs, "You? Why, August Adams you are the bravest person I have ever known. What could possibly scare you?"

"I don't know... a car accident, rapists, serial killers, muggers, creatures..."

"Okay, I get it. I just mean... you've been planning this trip for two years. Wasn't it supposed to be some great big adventure of self-discovery?"

August shrugs. "I already know who I am. I'm a bisexual goddess, who is going to be the CEO of a major corporation someday, and no one can stop me. But also I'm just a girl sitting in front a girl, asking her to join me on the trip of a lifetime."

Jamie's heart skips a beat. She loves Betty so deeply, but being with her was torture. It would have been four more years of hiding. 'Just until we graduate college,’ Betty's words echo in her head. Four years is a long time and Jamie is sick of hiding. August came out Sophomore year and didn't care about what anyone thought of her.

"You know what, that sounds amazing."

August squeals and leans across the center console to wrap her arms around Jamie. "We're going to have so much fun, James!"

They never went to Betty’s party. Instead they drove to 7-Eleven, bought snacks and slurpees, and spent the rest of the night at the one skate park in town.

It took a bit of convincing before her mom felt comfortable letting her go on the five week trip. The fact that August had family sprinkled along their route, with whom they would be staying most of the time, helped to reassure her. August created an itinerary for Jamie's mom, so she would have an idea of where they would be and with whom.

A week into the trip, Jamie gets an unexpected text.

'I heard you left town with August Adams. Thanks for the heads up. Hope you have fun.'

The three dots show up and disappear, then reappear once again.

And finally, after almost a minute, 'I hear she's a great lay.'

Jamie doesn't even reply. Her blood boils just a bit. They'd never officially broken things off, but seeing Betty kiss that boy on the dance floor was the last straw. Jamie didn't want to hide anymore. She wanted a girlfriend who's hand she could hold while walking down the street.

So, she got one. Sort of. The text kind of sent her into overdrive and she may have decided to see if all the rumors about August were true. They were. She definitely knew what she was doing and it was nice, but it wasn't the same as it had been with Betty. It was lust. There was no romance in it. At least not on Jamie's part.

Unfortunately, she had no idea the other girl had wanted this since they were Freshmen. It killed Jamie to tell her the truth. August was beautiful and fun and clever, but Jamie's heart belonged to someone else. She confessed everything about her relationship with Betty and how she wished she had gone to that party the night after graduation.

August won't tell anyone. She might be hurt, but she wasn't heartless. She'd never out someone nor would she ever try to get back at Jamie. They did decide to give each other some space. In fact, they only met up once more that summer. It was the day before August was set to leave for school. They hugged awkwardly and promised to keep in touch and to hang out over Thanksgiving break. They didn't keep those promises.

Betty doesn't message her again. Jamie rides past the girl's house on her skateboard almost every day for a month before she finally gets the nerve to text her.

'Hey, I'm near your house. Can we talk?'

She sits on the curb across the street from Betty's house for an embarrassingly long amount of time before she finally gives up. She stops riding by her house.

It's not until her mom drags her to the mall insisting she needs a new wardrobe for college that she finally sees Betty again. She catches sights of the girl from the store across the way and she tells her mom she'll be right back. She's about to step into the store, but someone grabs her by the wrist and drags her towards an empty service hallway. Jamie's heart stutters until she realizes who exactly has a hold on her.

"What the hell, Inez?"

Inez roughly releases her grasps once they are out of the earshot of passersby.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Me?! What do you think you're doing."

Inez rolls her eyes. "Stay away from her, you freak!"

"What gives you the right to tell me what to do?"

"I don't know. Maybe the fact that Betty told me all about how you're desperately in love with her and tried to put the moves on her and that's why she had to switch homerooms. Which I said was weird because as far as I knew you were off playing Thelma and Louise with August Adams. So just, like, leave her alone. She's not... like you."

Jamie bites her tongue. There is so much she wants to say, but it would only make things worse. "Whatever. Maybe you should tell your friend not to flatter herself."

Occasionally, over the next few years, Jamie checks Betty's social media accounts, looking for any hint that one of the girls in her pictures were more than just a friend. Jamie thinks about the night after high school graduation often. She fantasizes about what would have happened if she had gone to Betty's party. Would the girl have finally kissed her in front of their classmates? Was she already drunk when she sent that message? Had she finally been ready to say 'fuck it all' and let everyone know she wasn't who they thought she was?

Jamie will probably never know. But she spends her college years chasing the feeling she had when she was with Betty. There were a couple of women who she thought she had been in love with. Maybe she had been, but there was always this one piece of her heart that hung on to past love.

She dates quite a bit the first couple of years after college, until she eventually gets into a committed relationship. It's great for a while. It lasts four and a half years. She's devastated when it ends. But also, a part of her is relieved. It doesn't really make sense until that next Thanksgiving weekend when her high school class is having its ten year reunion.

She contemplates not going, but she's already R.S.V.P.'d and she's already going to be in town to celebrate Thanksgiving with her family. So, she musters up the courage to go.

The first person she recognizes is August Adams. The other woman greets her with a tight hug.

"James! How are you? God, it's been too long."

"It has."

It really has. Jamie missed her friend. She screwed it all up so much back when they were kids. But the woman still had this brightness that radiated from her and Jamie let herself bask in it.

"Oh, you have to meet my wife," August wraps her arm around the waist of a gorgeous brunette, "This is Autumn. I know, I know. Don't even start."

Jamie chuckles, but keeps quiet. After catching up and seeing way too many pictures of August's kid (she was a proud mom and it was kind of cute, to be honest), Jamie was left alone when the other woman found another old friend to talk to. She didn't mind. It gave her a chance to finally get to the bar and get a drink.

Jamie orders a whiskey on the rocks.

"I'll take one of those too, please," a voice speaks from beside her.

Jamie turns her head and takes in the sight before her. Betty hasn't changed much. If anything, she's even more attractive than she was all those years ago.

"Hi."

"Uhh..." Jamie clears her throat, "Hey."

Betty bites her lower lip, a smirk forming on her face anyway. "You look..." Her eyes scan Jamie's body and Jamie shifts a bit under her gaze, "good."

"That's all." Jamie elbows her playfully. The bartender sets their drinks in front of them. Jamie lifts the glass to her mouth.

"Let me try that again. You look incredible in that suit, but all I can think about is what you'd look like out of it."

Jamie chokes on her drink, pounding her chest with her fist as she coughs. Betty quirks her eyebrows and smirks smugly, while Jamie tries to gain some sense of control over her own body again.

"Umm... wow, that... I wouldn't mind..."

"Are you here with anyone?"

"No. I'm actually single at the moment. You?"

Betty doesn't even bother to answer. Instead she kisses Jamie. It takes a moment for Jamie to register what is happening, but eventually she gets a hold of herself and reciprocates the kiss, matching the passion of the woman in front of her.

There are a couple of 'whoops' from former classmates and a 'Get it, Davis' before Betty pulls away.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

How could Jamie say no to that? After that kiss? After ten years of dreaming about this moment? She couldn't.

"Definitely."

'Out of here' isn't very far. It's actually a room at the hotel where the reunion was being hosted, but really it was better than Jamie could have ever dreamed.

As they lay together in the afterglow, Betty runs her fingers through Jamie's curly, golden locks. Jamie rests her head on Betty's chest, her fingers tracing random patterns across Betty's toned abs.

"You're still as fit as you were back then."

Betty buries her face in Jamie's hair. Jamie feels the laughter rumble through the other woman's chest at the comment. "Really? Those are your first words after everything?"

"I can't help it, when you look like this."

"You're not so bad yourself."

Jamie looks up at Betty incredulously, "I'm sexy as hell."

"Hmm... I mean, you're attractive, sure. 'Sexy as hell', may be a touch too far."

"Oh, yeah?" Jamie smiles up at her as she moves her hand down Betty's abdomen. "Let me show you a touch too far."

Being with Betty makes Jamie feel like she's 17 again. All the years away from the girl did nothing to quell her desire to be as close to her as humanly possible. Somehow it was like a part of Jamie's heart had finally found its place again. It was a part that she thought had long been lost and she had resigned herself to the fact that the puzzle would sit there in her chest missing that one piece forever.

Maybe she didn't know much back when they were kids, but she knew one thing that would always ring true: Betty Davis is, has always been, and will always be her person.

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years ago

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Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: [is gonna rock up late despite literally living with Charlie so enjoy the entrance everybody]

Joe: [when you weren’t invited but still gonna show up like you have somewhere better to be, love that for you, the effort we’ve not gone to because we live here so it’s kinda okay but not really Joseph, also I imagine kinda shook she ended up showing]

Ronnie: [likewise in the sense that she dresses the same everywhere she goes unless it’s a job interview or court appearance lol but we know she looks good if you’re Joseph and into it, I imagine her zoning in on Jamie immediately like who the fuck is this and then oh I’ve heard nothing about you kinda energy soz gal]

Joe: [rude but not untrue in this case, at least Charlie can make it seem like you’re joking and Joe can go get you a drink like soz this is all we have energy ‘cos in jokes]

Ronnie: [I highly doubt they have enough seats around that table so I also imagine her dragging up something to sit on like yeah I’m here to stay bitches and drinking Joe’s drink while he’s gone as a throwback to when she did when they met at that gig and cos we’re obvs claiming him LOL]

Joe: [we know the food is gonna be studenty anyway so having smaller portions won’t kill any of us lmao, just dying at how shocked Sophie is having to conceal she is, host on queen, boring boyfriend having no opinions of course]

Ronnie: [don’t worry gal depending how much of a jealous rage we get into we probably won’t be eating it so you’ll still have brownies left, her face would be iconic and I totally picture Marc on his phone the entire time because Paul used to do that when he was with Trace]

Joe: [giving nothing to this bizarre situation, too real, Charlie and Sophie holding this together, soz guys, Joe jus amused af, do we sit opposite or next to hmm]

Ronnie: [read that as soz gays, ILY mum & dad, I think he needs to sit opposite Jamie so that she can accuse them of eye fucking each other or whatever so probably next to]

Joe: [okay yes gather ‘round everyone]

Ronnie: she lives here

Joe: yeah I told you, Silent Bob’s gf

Ronnie: you said he had a bitch not shes been chained to the radiator since youse lot moved in

Joe: maybe that’s his secret

Ronnie: whens he letting you have your go

Joe: got my own radiator you can have a go on when this is over

Joe: not to brag or nothing

Ronnie: wont be over til the fat flatmate sings & the other one sucking you off while her & mariah duet and the boyfriend pretends he aint watching youse instead is fuck all to brag about

Joe: be lucky if it got close to that level of mildly interesting

Joe: where are you in all this then

Ronnie: under the sink looking for drain cleaner or whatever else i can drink

Joe: why do you get to have all the fun?

Ronnie: i dont waste my time asking bullshit questions

Joe: how are we gonna waste our time

Ronnie: im gonna kill your shared girlfriend & youre gonna cry about it

Joe: I don’t think I am

Joe: no amount of tragedy is gonna breakthrough the chemical fog

Ronnie: you would if you could

Joe: [🙄 at her]

Ronnie: [tips however much is left of her drink into his lap not at all accidentally but we know Charlie and Soph will pretend it was]

Joe: [whip them off to go get changed boy]

Ronnie: [when you wanna follow him but you just gotta glare instead]

Joe: [probably taking whatever we’ve got in to make this go easier, ‘scuse us, so much missing out]

Ronnie: [you know she turned up already on something so do what you gotta do Joseph]

Joe: [Jamie should be talking to you about uni things thus alienating everyone else a lil ‘cos that is a bit rude and will annoy you gal]

Ronnie: [fully just opening up a wound over here literally cos she was already jealous but did not realise they had this much shit in common or anything in common actually so we’re just livid and bleeding]

Joe: [Sophie just running with the kitchen roll like omg do we have bandages guys like oh babe you truly only mean well, Charlie just giving the can you not looks of it all, Joe just jealous because we’ve obviously got our long sleeves]

Ronnie: [a spoken out loud fuck you at everyone but mainly Joe as we go to the bathroom to not deal with this but instead evoke the energy of when Mae downed that mouthwash because she definitely would and also go through the cabinets for anything sharp obvs]

Joe: [at least you can go under the guise of checking on her but really you’re just seeing what she’s doing]

Ronnie: [1000% have not locked the door because we wanted him to follow us but that won’t stop her telling him to get out because walking contradiction forever]

Joe: [locks it behind him in response]

Ronnie: [the most intense glare in response because could not be more livid rn]

Joe: [grabbing wherever the wound is like we’re gonna kiss it better or something like Soph for a casual bit of blood drinking]

Ronnie: [obviously have to push him away really hard because we’re obviously really into it and excuse you boy we’re trying to be angry and hate you, soz to all the flatmates when you hear that crashing about]

Joe: [lmao this tiny bathroom getting destroyed, steady yourself and her despite that clearly not being what she wants right now, roll up a sleeve ‘you never did the X’]

Ronnie: [the glorious visual of trying to get past him to leave/push him away again at the same time in a small space so you just end up pressed up against each other and the door making eye contact and it’s hot af ‘you never took me anywhere’]

Joe: [‘so let me’ do you mean let’s get out of here or in a saucy way either or you skinny as hell girl so if you not really trying to leave it’s easy not to let you]

Ronnie: [‘she’ll let you’ because we’re not just dropping this even if we want to]

Joe: [‘who?’ like an oblivious boy ‘cos clearly not where our head is]

Ronnie: [a really vicious read of Jamie based on what we’re learned this evening that I’m not gonna do because I am not that mean but it’s obvious it’s her and not Sophie we’re talking about, hope you don’t hear us gal]

Joe: [‘I’m not interested’ in every sense right now ‘and you know that, stop pissing about’]

Ronnie: [‘wasn’t any other cunt round the table hanging on her every fucking word, I know that’ because that was blatant Jamie]

Joe: [‘I can’t help it that her fella’s an accountant’ what do you do Marc, do any of us know lol, shrugs ‘we go to the same school, that’s it’ and a look like whatever the fuck this is is clearly more]

Ronnie: [she would wanna lol but we can’t because still mad ‘that’s it?’ not actually a question though more like you better be telling the truth boy ‘why the fuck have you never told me about her then?’]

Joe: [‘I thought I had when I said he had a girlfriend’ not not a lie ‘none of them are what I want to talk about, that’s it’]

Ronnie: [‘you were thinking with this’ grabbing his dick when we say so ‘that’s it’ cos even if that was true Joseph we shade the rest of the flatmates often and you know damn well we love doing it]

Joe: [shakes head even though we are very clearly into that ‘she’s no Soph’ like it wouldn’t be as funny soz]

Ronnie: [‘is right’ like yeah I know you actually seriously wanna get with her, and moving away but not to leave but to pick back up whatever implement we were gonna hurt ourselves with before he came in but didn’t get chance to because we’re genuinely upset]

Joe: [literally putting ourselves in front of it like no ‘Ronnie’ like I don’t know how you’re going to even put it into words boy so it’s mainly a !!! look]

Ronnie: [a look that starts out like don’t try and stop me/fuck you but turns into !! when his does like say something/do something if you mean it]

Joe: [got to go in and kiss you whilst making her push whatever she was gonna use on herself into him, now or never, enjoy the tension finally getting released]

Ronnie: [obviously we’re kissing you back so we all know what’s gonna happen next lol, soz flatmates I really hope you can’t hear anything, especially Charlie cos you actually know they’re related]

Joe: [it is not a big flat so keep quiet, just think he’s comforting her for all this time or what, god bless]

Ronnie: [she would be trying to keep quiet but not for y’all more so he thinks she’s unimpressed/not that into it but that would literally last all of a second because she’s obviously very into it]

Joe: [the levels you aren’t gonna wanna go back in but can’t be seen as being romantic lads]

Ronnie: [I could easily have her leave if we want though because it’s a fact that she doesn’t wanna be here and everyone would be relieved except Joseph]

Joe: [that probably makes sense, honestly, and you’ve freaked them all out, as was the point]

Ronnie: [and lbr you’ve freaked yourselves out with how good that hook up was too so]

Joe: [just go hide in your room like you’re very taxed by that in an acceptable way boy]

Ronnie: [god knows where you’re gonna go gal but please don’t OD again like you literally did in Margate no time ago]

Joe: [the headfuckery]

Ronnie: [poor Charlie just like UMMM WTF cos she must look bad even for her rn and we’ve behaved terribly and then literally legged it so]

Joe: [thank god you’re such a natural party go-er so you can make up some excuse to put them all at relative ease but yeah, for sure like excuse me]

Ronnie: [might be fun to do a convo between them when we’re done with this one]

Joe: [I’m down even though I really haven’t used him yet, I’ll give it a go]

Ronnie: [yeah it’s been forever since we did the group chats with them and Bronson and Bea it feels like another life, I can send you the convo we did where she told him she met Joe if you like cos I re-read that the other day and it was pretty good]

Ronnie: [but the real question is who’s gonna break first and start a convo and how long are we leaving it?]

Joe: [please do ‘cos did not realize we’d done that tbh]

Joe: [I could make a case for either of them, him to prove he meant it as he left it last time but her so she can’t automatically be on the ‘it meant nothing’ total defensive hmm]

Joe: [some hours later when the party is over, or could be]

Joe: Charlie was going pub, he’s left here though

Ronnie: [even later because whatever she’s doing she’s messy and can’t reply to the extent that she doesn’t need to because he won’t be expecting her to and yet here we are]

Ronnie: did whitney ask you to pass it on to us cos hes still disappointed like

Joe: couldn’t say

Joe: just letting you know that you’ll have a free gaff for a while longer

Ronnie: where have i chucked the other one for the sake of this free gaff in your mind mckenna

Joe: alright, free rooms better than fuck all

Ronnie: its his emmy oggie i aint there either

Joe: anywhere good?

Ronnie: compared to what

Joe: established it’s no brag compared to tonight

Ronnie: not gonna stop you comparing me & her

Joe: compare to what?

Joe: pleasantries over cocopops

Ronnie: youll be interested in eating her out now youve got what you wanted off me

Ronnie: 9 is easier to carve than an 8 and you wont look like youre trying to copy the infinity sign one of your other exes wouldve got inked on her

Joe: it’s not remotely the fucking same

Joe: if I was arsed about getting my numbers up there’s millions of girls in this city I could hit up before you

Ronnie: yeah youre not related to any of em and theyd have less clue how to shoot up than you do

Joe: even if the related bit was ringing 100% true, you’re the only user in town now?

Joe: you don’t have to pervert it when it already was

Ronnie: youre already romanticising it like a fucking 13 year old so yeah i do cause one of us has to get real

Joe: you reckon I’m so okay with it just because I can admit I wanted it

Joe: who do you reckon you’re lying to like I weren’t there

Ronnie: who do you reckon youre talking to like i didnt fucking leave you there for a reason

Joe: Fuck off

Ronnie: i did

Joe: for someone who reckons they’re so open, you chat so much shit

Ronnie: open to what soft lad infection

Joe: scars and trackmarks on your sleeve

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: you didn’t miss much

Ronnie: no shit you didnt just invite me cause you wanted to fuck me

Ronnie: can do that anywhere

Joe: yeah and you didn’t just wanna come to make Soph cry, like

Ronnie: i owed you

Joe: get it off your to-do list then

Joe: well done

Ronnie: stop crying youll never look as ugly as horse girl doing it or go for as long as her

Joe: you love her, we all 👀

Ronnie: i said shut up

Joe: no, you say something that’s not stupid

Ronnie: what for fucks sake

Ronnie: what did you reckon id say when you started chatting shit like nothing happened

Joe: alright, I don’t know

Joe: it happened, right

Ronnie: you werent hallucinating

Joe: nothing that makes that happen in the bathroom cupboard

Joe: I don’t regret it, I know that

Ronnie: meant to be made up to hear it am i

Joe: nah, probably not

Joe: but you wanted me to talk about it so I am

Ronnie: i wanted you to take the fucking hint when i legged it as soon as

Joe: you could’ve blocked me, so

Joe: pardon me for not taking it that seriously

Ronnie: not your crazy ex & i couldnt deny you your bullshit heroics

Ronnie: mary aint carrying me anywhere and i know how bad you wanna see me turn blue

Joe: you like having a stalker, is what you mean

Ronnie: block me and get your whore flatmate to tell you what she likes about you

Ronnie: weve established i aint got the talent to sing no cunts praises

Joe: we’ve established I’m not interested in that

Ronnie: cause you want me to tell you how smart you are at fucking me instead of beat the shit out of you

Ronnie: it wont last

Joe: familys forever, sis

Ronnie: not to your ma baby

Ronnie: did i look enough like her for you

Joe: what do you reckon

Joe: your theory, not mine

Ronnie: mustve youve still not fucked off

Joe: you’ve got room for another face tat or two

Ronnie: go do that then

Joe: you can leave out the yes sir

Joe: not my fantasy

Ronnie: no shit like youve been my bitch since you hit send on facebook

Joe: 😂

Joe: I’ve been worse

Ronnie: you trying to turn me on or what its a bit late for it

Joe: just the once, alright

Joe: bit cliche but probably for the best considering

Joe: very sensible of you

Ronnie: cliche that my da didnt stick around long enough for his side of the family to properly cut or sew me up so ive gotta regret not getting chance to put a razor blade inside me before you 💔

Ronnie: now youre gonna reckon i care youve said the once ll do when i just hate you & hate how you fuck even more

Joe: Could’ve said it was about as much fun as

Joe: it’s alright

Joe: both confused, clearly

Ronnie: youre not confused youre fucking smug

Joe: hardly another achievement for the fridge door

Joe: what’s to be smug about

Ronnie: probably for the best i dont answer that if thats how you feel

Joe: come on

Joe: aside from proving you were full of shit about not wanting to as well

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: you don’t want me to say how I really feel

Ronnie: making me cum earlier dont mean you know what i want now

Joe: right, you want me to declare my love so you get more out of telling me to fuck off, that’s more like it

Ronnie: do i fuck

Joe: then what do you want

Ronnie: like you give the slightest shit

Joe: I do too

Ronnie: no you dont

Joe: I fucking do

Joe: [prove it in a way only y’all would, carve her name or something]

Ronnie: [send him your own pics of the bite marks you’re covered in which is a self harming thing you’ve not done since you were a kid because it’s been a headfuck every second since you two met and we’re not coping honey]

Joe: you hungry?

Joe: you didn’t eat fuck all, I mean

Joe: could get something not dubiously prepared by Soph

Ronnie: hungry as you are funny

Joe: I weren’t trying to be

Joe: on the spectrum, or whatever you said

Ronnie: you wish you had the excuse or the musical prodigy status

Joe: 💔 about that genuinely

Joe: just a dickhead

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: I don’t know what to say

Joe: there’s no point saying I’m sorry

Ronnie: no point is right youre not sorry

Joe: nah

Joe: it’d be lovely for you if I’d found you and you were fine

Joe: but like you said, it ain’t about me or her, it’s about loads of shit and you clearly weren’t so

Joe: just seems pointless

Ronnie: im made up you finally got your head round it

Joe: Yeah well, I didn’t tell you I was a good person

Joe: don’t mean I don’t give no fucks, just ‘cos I ain’t trying to save you

Ronnie: you keep telling me you aint like it matters to me who you are

Joe: yeah, it doesn’t in why you’re fucked

Joe: but what do you want from me

Ronnie: its your fucking fault im like this climbing the walls same as when i was a kid

Joe: yeah ‘cos you were doing really great before weren’t ya

Ronnie: all you give a fuck about is letting yourself off the fucking hook

Joe: Blame me then what does it change

Joe: do something about it other than fucking yourself up, I don’t care

Ronnie: stop lying that youre bothered if your only answer to me losing my mind is that i was before

Joe: I can’t help you

Joe: If you thought I could, though why the fuck you would

Joe: then I am sorry

Ronnie: 💔🖕

Joe: I’ve got my own problems

Joe: if I had any solutions, I’d light ‘em up and shoot them into myself first, naturally

Ronnie: youve got a solution i gave it to you

Ronnie: why the fuck would you make me feel something

Joe: Selfishness

Joe: pure and simple

Ronnie: on your way to a grown up habit im dead proud

Joe: what more could I want

Ronnie: that to scab over seeing as youve finally admitted its bullshit

Joe: I still think about you constantly

Joe: I still want to know everything about you

Joe: I’d rot with you

Ronnie: youve got your own problems to think about

Joe: yeah, and that’s hell

Joe: I’ve done plenty of that

Ronnie: yeah and youve got your escape

Joe: take yours

Joe: can have plan bs and cs even if a is the best

Ronnie: youre the kid who tells the rest to jump off a bridge

Ronnie: cute

Joe: you’re implying I wouldn’t and all

Ronnie: i dont give a shit what you do but i aint giving you the satisfaction of being the last fuck i ever had

Ronnie: youd cling to life long enough to write a pathetic song about it

Joe: that’s the nicest thing you’ve said

Joe: which is saying something ‘cos you’re so sweet, like

Ronnie: youre welcome

Joe: I’ll do a Dylan style ballad about all your 👼🏼 deeds

Ronnie: thats the biggest turn off out of everything youve ever said or done

Joe: thank god, you’re insatiable 😏

Ronnie: once you said

Joe: not for my benefit

Ronnie: its all only for your benefit remember

Joe: if that were true you’d still be here

Ronnie: if it was true i could be

Joe: come back

Ronnie: cant ive got a face tat to get done

Joe: I understand

Joe: my art isn’t there yet

Joe: won’t ruin your beauty

Ronnie: go ed and chuck yourself off a bridge you dont have to wait for me to boot your door in & do you in for chatting shit

Joe: well I am already devvo I’m not a prodigy so yeah, add lack of a steady hand to the list of failures

Joe: probably the meds

Joe: you know being poetic is all I do, why have we downgraded it to chatting shit 💔

Ronnie: why are you calling me beautiful when you could write it in your suicide note for your ma theres your downgrade

Joe: you’re too romantic for your own good

Joe: I wouldn’t be writing a note, sorry to dash your illusions

Ronnie: not me saying i get you mckenna thats your delusion

Ronnie: what are you gonna draw on me then

Joe: you do but it’s more fun to take the piss and pretend you don’t so

Joe: That is the question

Joe: won’t brand you, don’t worry

Ronnie: if i dont want it ill cut it out no pressure

Joe: it’s just skin right

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: how olds your oldest scar

Ronnie: older than you

Joe: what did you do

Ronnie: i used to take headbanging literally

Joe: ah, the floor never saw you coming, yeah

Joe: I have a head scar too [cos he either does or did on the stalker show idk but there we go with a photo like she probably knows hun]

Ronnie: [I just imagine her smiling to herself like yeah I know nerd]

Ronnie: cant both be poets had to express myself somehow before i pushed a safety pin through my cheek

Joe: that explains the permanent 😾

Joe: fucked the muscles, like

Ronnie: your shit jokes do

Joe: it was always easier to just start fights to get hurt

Joe: when I was a kid

Joe: though you work out ways to be sneaky fast, if you have to

Ronnie: they didnt wanna fight me

Joe: everyday sexism strikes again

Ronnie: fuck off not cos im a girl

Joe: why then

Ronnie: wouldnt be me getting hurt and if i was i didnt care

Ronnie: all those mental problems you told that call centre cunt about like

Joe: ‘course you were too proud to make it count

Joe: have to let them get some punches in or there was no point, yeah

Ronnie: no point in fitz flouncing in either fun though

Joe: true

Joe: I’ve got a brother and all, I remember what it’s like

Ronnie: scraps never went far enough

Joe: yeah

Joe: most kids aren’t that psycho

Ronnie: 💔

Joe: being misunderstood served me so well for the whole musician thing so whatever, I guess

Ronnie: i mightve bothered keeping some of my bastards about if they were guaranteed nutters thatd serve you well

Joe: you’d get your own room then, like

Joe: even if you had to pack them to the rafters

Ronnie: for a stalker youre dead concerned about my privacy

Joe: nah, ‘course not

Joe: I’d rather have a place to do the gear without the possibility of Soph or Charlie 🥺ing at us obvs, nothing but selfishness

Ronnie: theres loads of places

Joe: you can show me

Ronnie: is she there now she can let me in

Joe: no idea

Joe: their room is near the door, makes sense they’d be your first victims

Ronnie: youre too selfish to get off your arse and do it

Joe: if you’re coming I’ll carry you in myself, you know that

Ronnie: ill be there and youll still be going on about what youre gonna do

Ronnie: no wonder the other kids kept smacking you

Joe: yeah, all mouth me, deffo what I was known for

Joe: not a euphemism and I don’t think they were wishing it was but who knows

Ronnie: you sure you dont want charlie giving you the eye

Ronnie: how it sounds

Joe: I’m alright, tah

Joe: pretty sure he’s over it now I’m enabling you

Ronnie: hes over everything thats not horse girls from kent but reckons the fucking lost causes are us

Joe: He clearly just gives a shit about appearances

Joe: looking nice, polite

Joe: they’ll never speak again, like

Ronnie: forget him

Ronnie: open the door

Joe: [do that boy]

Ronnie: [boop his little head scar as you come in like oh there it is]

Joe: [‘s’not even a good story’ and producing some takeaway moment from the kitchen as you go through ‘cos the dinner party was not heavy on the dinner bit]

Ronnie: [a look like ffs because people caring in any way ew no but we are gonna eat it because probably haven't since that Margate moment]

Joe: [shrugging like bitch I’m hungry as we tuck in, obviously]

Ronnie: [kick him while you've still got your big boots on but playfully not aggressively]

Joe: [😏 but in a more genuine way than that cocky face looks, I am vibing Chinese not that that matters but there we go]

Ronnie: [weirdly I also thought that maybe because it's one of the grossest haha but yeah eat your food lads]

Joe: [greasy greasy goodness, love the subtle shade if any of them come out for a cuppa or whatever like oh hello again lol]

Ronnie: [I hope it's oblivious Marc just living his life]

Joe: [that’d be most amusing, unbothered, casually]

Ronnie: [I just imagine them doing stuff to try and make him notice like when people stack stuff on a sleeping person but idk what you could do in that little kitchen]

Joe: [for sure, just being subtly annoying/weird and he is just like does not compute ‘cos we mind our own business, so childish]

Ronnie: [love that for you two]

Joe: [we stan the regression for you]

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killian-whump · 4 years ago

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I know you don't know the answer but I have to vent. I love Colin as a human being but it's hard to find his characters likeable. I mean, he really loves jerk characters and I can't connect with them. I love watching him in interviews & panels. I think he's a lovely man but why does he have to play that kind of characters always? I was happy to know he'll play Gordon Cooper in TRS but it seems he's playing him as a jerk, too. It gets very frustrating. I want him to play a nice guy for a change!

Hey, Nonny. Nah, I don’t mind some venting, as long as it’s fair. And yeah, Colin does like playing bad guys. And yeah, that kind of character’s not always gonna be everybody’s favorite.

BUT... you’re not being totally fair here, Nonny. For starters, he doesn’t always play jerks. Let’s have a quick Jerk roll call (role call? haha, see what I did there? I’ll be here all week year forever)...

Not Jerks: Rowe, Peter Sheerin (look, I will NOT tolerate any accusations of jerkiness about my precious gay disaster son, not even from Colin himself), Jamie, Conor Elliott, Young Security Guard, Duke Phillip, Ben, Michael Kovak, Unnamed Lumberjack Florist, Brennan Sullivan, Douxie Casparan.

In fact, all of these individuals are precious and should be protected at all costs. Like, I will actually CUT YOU if you speak ill of any of them.

Jerks: Brendan, Mark, Professor Harrison, Preacher Peter, JJ Sneed.

And it should be noted that Brendan is really just a creepy idiot in a clusterfuck of a situation who will likely spend the rest of his young life in prison as someone’s bitch, and Preacher Peter is like the poster child for why CPS exists in the first place and he should’ve been protected at all costs before he not only lost the plot, but also forgot what page he was on in the book or even how to read, omg, my poor disaster son T_T

(FYI: I left off all of the roles we’ve been unable to see for ourselves (including Gordo Cooper)... and I also left off Hook, because he arguably belongs on either both lists or neither list - and I chose neither because it’s easier.)

See, out of the 16 eligible characters, only 5 of them are jerks. So no, he doesn’t always play jerks. He only plays jerks roughly 31% of the time. Granted, you can still vent all you like about how you wish he’d play MORE nice guys and LESS jerks, but it’s totally unfair to say he only plays jerks. It’s simply not true!

Furthermore, you mentioned his characters being unlikeable... and I gotta say, I actually do like Mark, Peter, and JJ. In fact, they’re some of my favorite characters of Colin’s! Brendan’s a creepy little fuck, though, and Harrison just plain sucks. There’s no helping that XD

NOW for my next issue with the fairness of your venting here...

Gordo Cooper was a real person. He isn’t a character, and Colin isn’t “playing him as a jerk”. Gordo was just a guy. He was a guy who did wonderful things and a guy who made mistakes, as well - and Colin is portraying him as accurately as he can, and as accurately as the writing/directing allows for him to. And no, Gordo’s personal life and the mistakes he may have made in it (which are entirely subjective - we’re not talking murder or rape or anything criminal here) DO NOT negate the role he played in the advancement of air and space travel or his accomplishments as part of the Mercury and Gemini projects. And I’m willing to bet that, as long as TRS doesn’t end up being a total smear campaign out of nowhere (doubt it), Gordo doesn’t belong on the “Jerk” list above.

Now my last point here goes back to what I said in the beginning. It’s actually a perfectly valid complaint to have that you don’t like some of the characters Colin has played and you wish he’d stick to ones you DO like. I’m certainly not gonna tell you that you’re wrong about that, because they’re your feelings and of course you’re entitled to them.

But the thing is, there’s nothing you can DO about it. Now, I don’t know if you’re religious or not, or what you consider yourself, but I’ve always been fond of that serenity prayer the Christians have: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." That is some good shit right there, whether you believe in god(s) or not. And when it comes to the roles a specific actor takes (or passes on), that is 100% firmly in the “things I cannot change” camp.

And seeing as you can’t change it... Well, what’s the point in stressing about it? If you like Colin as a person, you can continue to do so. You don’t HAVE to watch all of his work. There’s lots of actors who I enjoy as people and haven’t seen all of their work. Or even most of their work. I just think they’re good people and I support them in a general sense. Watch what you like, enjoy what you like, support what you like, and skip out on whatever you don’t.

And as for Colin’s personal preferences... Well, you can’t change those, either - and you shouldn’t even want to. I mean, he’s entitled to like whatever he likes, and he should be encouraged to pursue the kinds of roles he likes and to have the kind of career HE can look back on and be happy with. He’s the one behind the steering wheel, my friend - as fans, we’re just going along for the ride! If you’re enjoying that ride and want to cheer him on, then do so. If you’re not enjoying it anymore, then get out and find another car to ride in that you DO enjoy! Fandom should be FUN, not frustrating!

#anonymous #kw ask box

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