lupin-for-president

[lupin-for-president]

“Moons, please!” Sirius chokes on a sob, eyeliner running down his cheeks as his fingers grip onto the front of Remus’ shirt. “Please stay.”

Remus stares at him with sad eyes, his own set of tears rolling down his cheeks, cheeks that are painted a pretty shade of rose.

“You know that I love you,” Sirius whispers softly, all but falling apart.

And Remus smiles— a sad, broken thing as he raises a hand to cup Sirius’ face, the contact hot, scalding. He shakes his head, lets out a wobbly and watery laugh.

“You know how I wish that was true.”

And he leaves.

[lupin-for-president]

well if i had to choose

between breathing and loving you

just make sure that

you show up to my funeral, too

[lupin-for-president]

Gryffindor common room, 1976

[lupin-for-president]

i would just like to say that you’re the main reason i don’t ship a single straight ship in hp and i think that’s beautiful.

that is the best compliment i have ever received

[lupin-for-president]

Scorbus Headcanons

(Please tell me if you would like me to write a short fic off of any of these, because I love them)

Scorpius is insanely affectionate, don’t even try to argue with me on this one, you know it’s true

Even when he and Albus are still “just friends” he is touching him All. The. Time.

The worst part is Albus doesn’t even realize Scorp is doing it at this point because he’s just so used to all of this affection from him

James passes them in the library one day and sees Scorpius with his arms wrapped around his brother’s waist while Albus is looking on the shelves for a book and he’s just like “????”

When James asks Albus about it later he is just like “Oh, I didn’t even notice.”

By the time they start their third year no one in the school is sure whether they’re dating or just friends because they’re with each other 24/7

Albus does weird motherly things for Scorpius like fold his clothes and wipes the crumbs off of his face at dinner

Albus also picks out all of Scorpius’ clothes for when they go to Hogsmeade or other trips and complains the entire time which drives Scorpius mad

“You’d think coming from a family like yours you’d have more class, Scorp. Really, it’s almost shameful.”

“Well I’m sorry that you took more after my own father than I did, Al.”

Even though he has better fashion sense, Albus literally just walks around in their dorm shirtless and in grey sweats which drives Scorpius up the fucking wall

Albus gets jealous as hell any time someone apart from his family talks to Scorpius for more than fifteen minutes at a time and will pull him away without an explanation

“Al, that was rude! She was in the middle of her sentence!”

“I don’t fucking care what she was in the middle of, she was basically undressing you with her eyes and it was bloody disgusting.”

Scorpius just smiles and throws an arm around Albus’ shoulders whispering things like “Jealous, love?” and “You want to do that yourself?”

Albus blushes like crazy any time he gets called out for showing any interest at all in Scorpius and you can’t change my mind

The amount of sass in this relationship is unmatched. I mean, their father’s are Draco I-didn’t-know-you-could-read Malfoy and Harry No-need-to-call-me-sir-Professor Potter, would you expect anything less???

Like when they’re sitting on the couch in the common room

“Hey Scorp, mind running up to the dorm and grabbing my book for me?”

“I wasn’t aware I was your errand boy, Al. Would you like me to fetch you some supper next?”

Or when they’re in the middle of class working on a new Potion

“Al, you think you could lend me an extra hand over here?”

“Sure, but I actually really fancy having two, ya know. And the blood would be a real bugger to get out of my robes.”

Albus doesn’t even know what a chair is anymore because he’s always sitting in Scorpius’ lap, regardless of where they are and who they’re in front of

There is so much unintentional PDA between the two of them it is unreal

The first time Scorpius kisses Albus on the cheek in public it’s a total accident

He was on his way to study but Albus had scored a detention for backtalking a Professor so he had to separate from him for a few hours

Without thinking, he just leans in and places a quick peck to Albus’ cheek

He doesn’t even realize what he’s done until he turns around and comes face to face with a wide eyed Rose

“Scorpius, did you just do what I think you just did?” Rose asks, bewildered.

Oh, both the boys are completely flustered

On any given afternoon Scorpius can be found curled up in one of Albus’ sweaters and his face buried into his chest/neck

Albus just pretends he’s not there or lightly rubs his back or runs his hands through his hair

When Scorpius goes through his “rebellious” phase about mid fourth year, he convinces Albus to pierce his ears at like midnight on a Tuesday

To make Scorpius stop crying, Albus pierces his too

You can only imagine the slightly mortified look on Ginny’s face (and the immensely proud one on Teddy’s) when Albus comes home for Christmas modeling black studs

Albus ends up liking it so much that by the end of the week he has Teddy pierce a second set of holes, as well as give him an industrial in his right ear

Scorpius finds it hot as hell

Albus is bad about leaving marks all over Scorpius at all the wrong times

For instance, the night that he had dinner over at the Malfoy’s for the first time, Scorpius had three dark purple kisses painted on his pale skin from just a few days prior

Draco was glaring at Albus througout the whole meal

You should’ve seen the look McGonagall gave him, he nearly thought he was going to turn to stone

Right before summer break their sixth year, Scorpius goes through a huge “I stan Teddy Lupin and everything he does” phase and decides he wants to dye his hair

Albus refuses to do it (he loves that diamond blonde way too much)

When he walks into his dorm room one day to find Teddy (“How the hell did you even get in here?”) knuckle deep in a bowl of neon blue hair dye, he nearly loses it, but they’re already halfway done so he had to let him finish

When they all leave Hogwarts a week later for summer vacation, Draco calls the Potter-Weasley household

“Potter!”

“What, Malfoy?” Harry nearly groans, blowing out a huff of air.

“Not you, the younger Potter, the one snogging my son. Put him on the phone, I need to ask why Scorpius’ hair is the color of a fruit loop.”

Albus and Draco have a very heated conversation about how they both absolutely cannot believe that Scorpius would do something like this

Scorpius is dying of laughter in the background the entire time

During their last year at Hogwarts, Albus shows up with a set of rings, each a simple silver band, one with a green gem and the other a diamond

Scorpius nearly cries when Albus gives him the green gem one during breakfast, full on kissing him in front of everyone in the Great Hall

“They’re the color of our eyes. Thought it might be nice to have,” Albus shrugs nonchalantly, but there’s a blush painting the tips of his ears

They both wear them on the middle finger of their right hand (Albus’ is displayed quite often because of how much he flips Rose the bird)

The day of their graduation from Hogwarts, Scorpius cries

When Albus asks him what’s wrong, he nearly feels his entire heart shatter

“This doesn’t mean we’re over, does it? We’re not over just cause we’re done with school, are we? We’re still going to be together?”

Oh Albus is having none of that

“Of course, Scorp! You can’t get rid of me that easily,” Albus teases, kissing Scorpius over and over until the tears finally stop rolling down his cheeks

After they arrive back on platform 9 3/4, they’re inseparable.

Harry and Draco are losing their bloody minds with how much of the other’s son they’re seeing now

“God, Potter. You’d think he practically lived here.”

“I could say the same for yours, I might start charging him rent.”

One day while both the families are out together at a diner (it was Scorpius’ idea), Ginny makes the comment that if they just got a house of their own then it wouldn’t be a problem

She was joking, of course, but the boys took it 100% seriously

So about a month later they bought a small but nice house not too far from either of their parents

And it was there, in the middle of their newly furnished living room, that Albus proposed to Scorpius with another silver band

But this time, it went on his ring finger.

(These are the headcanons I was talking about hahah @ellavaneck)

[lupin-for-president]

i am in love with regulus black

[lupin-for-president]

send me wolfstar/scorbus/jeddy prompts in my ask box and i’ll write a short drabble!!!!

[lupin-for-president]

the slytherins find out scorpius and albus are dating whenever scorp has a bad day and walks over to where albus is sitting on the common room couch and burries his face under his shirt without a word and albus... let’s him

[lupin-for-president]

Hi I just wanna say I hope you’re doing well and I wanted to remind you to drink some water 💛

thank you! i hope you’re doing well too!

[lupin-for-president]

Jegulus - “He Noticed”

(Angst Warning)

•••

James had found himself in this position before —far more times than he would like to have been— and still it seemed that each time pained him just as badly as the first.

He was sat on the end of Sirius’ bed next to Peter, watching grievously as his best friend was wracking with sobs, the only thing holding him together being the arms that Remus had fastened tightly around him. This had went on for hours already and every tear, every wail, every scream felt like a knife piercing deeper and deeper into James’ heart.

He couldn’t take it anymore. The sound of Sirius’ heartwrenching cries was becoming far too much for him. He started to feel like he was suffocating in his own vast ocean of guilt, helplessness weighing down on him like a load of bricks.

Abruptly, he stood, causing Remus’ eyes to snap up in an instant. James stared at Sirius for a moment, his hands clenching at his sides, before looking up to the boy holding him. As soon as their eyes met, Remus felt his face go slack. He mouthed a silent “Don’t” as he shook his head ever so slightly.

But James didn’t listen, he never did.

With one last, longing glance to his disheveled friend, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the dorm. His feet stomped loudly as he rushed down the stairs, causing everyone in the common room to cast their attention to him.

“Potter? Is everything okay?” Lily asked as he walked through.

He couldn’t have answered her even if he had wanted to. A lump was already lodged in his throat as he walked past her, shoulder subconsciously knocking hers as he did so. His jaw locked as he made his way out of the Gryffindor commons and down the dimly-lit stone hallway.

He had found himself in this position before too.

Every time he had walked into their dorm to find Sirius shattered like this, broken and in shambles, he always found himself on the search for a certain Slytherin. One who shared a last name with his best friend.

James knew he shouldn’t blame him, shouldn’t try to guilt him, shouldn’t want to hurt him, but James needed someone to pin this on and Regulus was always there to handle it.

James also knew it hurt Regulus.

To have to hear about just how awful Sirius was doing, just how much he was crying, just how much he was killing himself over him. Regulus hated himself, more than hated himself, and wanted nothing else but to run up to Sirius and hug him and tell him that he still loved him and that everything was going to okay.

But he couldn’t.

James knew that, too.

Yet, it never stopped him from marching his way out of his dorm and right up to a painstricken Regulus, dragging him by his collar into an empty broom closet where he would scream at him until his voice had gone completely hoarse.

But this time was different.

Because as much as James absolutely hated to admit it to himself, Regulus was becoming more than just the boy who was hurting his best friend. He had subconsciously started to notice things about him, things he never intended to know.

He noticed how Regulus’ shoulders would tense ever so slightly every single time he and Sirius would pass by him in the hallway. He noticed how the light behind his eyes would suddenly go dim at just the mere mention of his bloodline, something he was supposed to be proud of. He noticed how he would try to hide the pained glint in his eyes every time someone had mentioned one of his parents and all of their doings. He noticed how his laughs always seemed a little too forced when he would watch Snape bully a first year muggleborn by calling them a mudblood, or something along those lines. He noticed how the smile never quite reached his eyes when he would fling insults at him and his friends, trying to please the Slytherins around him. He noticed how he would laugh in order to hide his tears whenever Sirius would receive a howler from their mother, disgracing him in the middle of the Great Hall for everyone to hear. He noticed, when Regulus thought no one else was looking, how he would slump down in his seat or against the wall and let out shaky breaths to try to calm himself down.

Then, James started to notice some other things, too.

He noticed how his voice would get slightly softer —though obviously completely unintentional— every time he and James would have a conversation about his brother. He noticed how whenever the candlelight was at just the right amount of brightness, his eyes would resemble swirling storm clouds. He noticed how he would pick at the skin around his fingernails every time a professor would call on him during class. He noticed how he would play with the hair at the nape of his neck whenever he would get nervous. He noticed how when the sun hit his face just right, there would be faint freckles peppering the skin across his nose. He noticed how he would mumble quiet cursings in French every time he would mess up a potion. He noticed how he would let his hair grow out as long as his mother would deem acceptable —just long enough for the hair to spill over the tops of his ears— before cutting it all off again. He noticed the palest tint of the pink spread across his cheeks every time he would misspeak or stumble over a word. He noticed how he would always subconsciously tug at the sleeve covering his nonpresent mark, rubbing the skin through the cloth. He noticed how every time Regulus would catch him looking, the corners of his mouth would twitch up ever so slightly before he’d quickly turn away.

So, as he weaved his way through winding halls, James felt that this time was different.

This time Regulus wasn’t just hurting James as a byproduct of hurting Sirius. No, this time Regulus was hurting James all on his own. This time, James wanted answers, and he wasn’t leaving until he got them.

He found Regulus a few minutes later, perched by himself on a corridor bench, book in hand. James wasted no time in yanking the boy out of his seat by the collar of his shirt and tugging him along.

Regulus jolted a little at first, but immediately relaxed as he saw it was just James who had grabbed him so violently. After a few twists and turns, James found an empty room, flinging Regulus into it before slamming the door shut behind them.

“Why.”

“James, we’ve been over this,” Regulus sighed, leaning his back against the wall and facing his counterpart.

“No! No I don’t care what the hell you say anymore or what excuses you make,” James snapped, not even attempting to get a grip on himself, “You’re killing him, Regulus! You and I both can see that.”

“Now, James—”

“Let me finish!”

The air between the two boys grew achingly stiff, tension flooding into the room up to their necks. Regulus tensed slightly at the sound of James’ raised voice piercing into him. He was used to James yelling at him as a way to calm himself down, he was used to being blamed for all of this, but the tone in James’ voice was different now.

And as much as James was trying to cover it up, Regulus noticed.

“Do you have any idea what it’s like? To walk in and find your best friend —your brother— in shambles on the dormitory floor? Clutching his chest and gasping for air? Silent screams spilling out of his mouth because his voice has been long gone from how long he’s been crying?!” James yelled, taking angered steps towards the Slytherin.

As James came closer, slowly closing the gap between them, Regulus couldn’t help but detect the trace of tears beginning to well in the boy’s eyes. A sharp pain stabbed straight through his heart, and he wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold him and stop those tears from forming.

But he couldn’t.

It wasn’t his place; wasn’t his right. Regulus would never dare do something like that for James, especially when James had no idea just how much it killed Regulus to be hurting him. Just how much Regulus really cared. If James knew, he would hate Regulus even more than he already did now. And even if James knew and he took it well, that would just be one more thing that Regulus would be taking away from Sirius.

And he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he took one more thing from his brother.

So, there Regulus stood, back up against the wall, eyes trained forward. He listened silently as James shouted, tears flowing down his flushed cheeks, some even getting caught on the lenses of his glasses. Regulus’ hands curled into tense fists at his sides, fingernails digging deep into his palms, as he tried to stop himself from jumping forward and latching onto the trembling boy in front of him.

James’ heart was breaking, and that god forsaken pitying look on Regulus’ face wasn’t making it any better.

There were only inches between them now, James staring down at Regulus through his tear blurred vision. The air in the room was suffocating and suddenly Regulus felt like he couldn’t breathe. His throat was slowly closing up, and the proximity of James was already beginning to make him feel claustrophobic.

“I know you love him, Regulus. I know this is hurting you just as much as it’s hurting him,” James screamed, his words cracking slightly, throat constricting.

“James, you know I can’t—”

“You’re making this all too hard! You always make everything way too hard! Why can’t you let anything be easy? Just this once, Regulus! Why can’t you just talk to him? Why can’t you just talk to me?”

James’ eyes immediately widened as he realized what words had slipped out through his lips, causing Regulus to let out an inaudible gasp. His mouth parting open to defend himself, James found his feet stumbling back a step, his hands shaking.

“What?” Regulus whispered, leaning up off the wall.

James swallowed down the lump in his throat and straightened up to the best of his ability. “Why don’t you just talk to him?” James asked, his trembling voice betraying him.

“James.”

“Talking to him will help, I know it will, trust me. You just need to talk to him, let him know that you still care. If you don’t talk to him then—”

“James.”

“—you’re going to regret it and I’ll be stuck cleaning up the messes. All it takes is one conversation, Regulus. I’m sure if you just talk to him one time then he’ll—”

But James couldn’t finish before Regulus had grabbed him by the shirt collar and slammed their lips together. He wasn’t sure exactly why he did it, he just knew that he couldn’t bare to listen to James’ rambling for another second. James stood shellshocked, eyes wide open, as their lips met. Regulus pulled back after a moment, his face filling with a warm flush.

“I do care. About Sirius and you,” Regulus said bluntly, hands resting on James’ shoulders.

James blinked down at Regulus, his lips heating up from where they had just been connected to his just seconds before. His heart was pounding inside of his chest, so loud that he couldn’t hear much of anything else. That’s when he noticed the way Regulus’ eyes were shifting between his own and his lips.

And James gave in.

He grabbed both sides of Regulus’ face, smashing their lips together once again. The pale boy stumbled a little from the abrupt movement, back hitting the wall he had just moved away from. It hurt a little when he was slammed against the stone, but he didn’t dare stop, just wrapped his arms around James’ neck.

In that moment —regardless of it being selfish and cruel and wrong— that kiss was helping them to forget about all of the hell that was breaking loose around them. And giving them a break from the daunting pressures that both of them were facing.

It didn’t matter that Regulus was destined to be a deatheater and that James was destined to fight them. It didn’t matter that Regulus was the symbol of darkness and James the symbol of light. It didn’t matter what was going to happen afterwards, or how this would change things. Regulus needed this and James needed it too.

And that was something that they both noticed.

[lupin-for-president]

hi hi :)

hey!

[lupin-for-president]

The Incident: Aftermath

(It was requested that I write a part two so this is after the night in the astronomy tower)

(tw)

—

It was the morning after his attempt when Sirius Black found himself next to a sleeping Remus Lupin.

Even with his eyes still closed, Sirius could tell he wasn’t in his own bed, this one wasn’t nearly as soft or comfortable. He strained to push his eyes open, blinking slowly out of his sleep and into consciousness once again. Looking blearily around the room, he found himself to be in the hospital wing.

When he glanced down, he felt his heart skip inside of his chest.

Sitting in a chair pulled up next to his bed, snoring softly, was none other than Remus Lupin. His head was resting against Sirius’ leg and both of his hands were clasped tightly around one of Sirius’ frail ones.

Sirius felt tears spring to his eyes as the memories came flooding back. The very vivid memory of Remus stopping him, just before it was too late, ran relentlessly through his mind.

The sound of sniffling woke Remus up, eyes droopily drifting up to Sirius’ face before completely shooting wide open.

“Are you alright? Are you hurting?” Remus asked, clearly panicked, as both of his hands reached up to cup Sirius’ face.

Sirius just smiled, tears rolling swiftly down his cheeks, and shook his head ever so delicately.

These tears weren’t like the ones he had been shedding for months, these tears were because he felt so overwhelmingly grateful. He couldn’t believe that he had been given a second chance, one he thought he didn’t deserve in the slightest.

And Sirius was happy to be alive.

—

It was four days after his attempt when Sirius Black found himself sitting in the common room with James Potter’s arm around his shoulder.

After Remus explained how he had found their dear friend, the other two were quick to destroy all of the barriers between them. Wrapping Sirius in overly tight embraces —and crying into him�� they told him just how much he was really missed.

They were inseparable for the days that followed.

The four boys —along with Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas— were just chatting around the fireplace, an activity that suddenly seemed so foreign to Sirius.

He had missed this, more than he could express in words. Something about just being able to be around his friends brought comfort to him, comfort he had been lacking for so long.

He let himself lean a little more into James, pressing further into his side. James paused his words briefly to flash a smile down to his brother, ruffling through his hair, before returning to his conversation.

Sirius smiled, a real genuine smile that caused his eyes to crinkle at the corners and his dimple to dip in his cheek. He looked across the room to Remus, who was already looking at him, a warm grin resting on his lips.

The two of them weren’t back to how they were before, and Sirius doubted that they would ever be, but just being able to be the reason for Remus’ smile was more than enough for him.

Just knowing that Remus no longer hated him was more than enough for him.

And Sirius was happy to be alive.

—

It was three weeks after his attempt when Sirius Black found himself sharing a cake with Remus Lupin in the Great Hall.

It was dinner time and —as much as he hated to admit it— Sirius still struggled to regain his proper eating habits after going months with hardly consuming anything at all.

Remus noticed, James noticed, Peter noticed, hell even Lily noticed Sirius’ lack of eating, but it seemed that no matter what they did they just couldn’t get him to eat.

Until Remus made an offer.

“Share this cake with me, yeah?” Remus asked him, sliding the plate between them with a smile.

Sirius had hardly touched his own food, and the thought of eating honestly made him sick to his stomach, but he couldn’t bring himself to refuse this offer from Remus.

Especially not with that sweet and soft look that Remus was giving him through his thick lashes, eyes sparkling brightly.

Remus smiled to himself as Sirius took a bite, swallowing it down with a forced gulp. If seeing Sirius eat again meant that Remus had to share all of his meals, he would happily oblige.

The action made Sirius feel guilty at first —after all, this was Remus’ food— but for the first time in months he was able to eat something without instantly throwing it up afterwards.

Sirius laughed when Remus wet a napkin and wiped the corner of his mouth, dusting off crumbs from the cake he had devoured.

And Sirius was happy to be alive.

—

It was a month and sixteen days after his attempt when Sirius Black found himself with a wand pressed to his neck.

He was just trying to walk to class —hands fiddling through his bag as he looked for the paper he knew would be due— when someone pushed him swiftly against the wall, forearm pressed firmly against his throat.

Sirius felt his airway close up under the pressure as he stared down at one of Snivellus’ cronies. He did his best to keep a straight face, trying to appear unfazed, but his struggle to breath was causing his facade to crumble.

“You worthless blood traitor,” the Slytherin seethed, weilding his wand so that it dug right beneath Sirius’ jaw.

Sirius couldn’t say anything, he simply gasped for air. His body was still too weak to push the boy off of him, and he internally cursed himself for allowing himself to become this helpless.

Just seconds later, someone yanked his offender back, causing Sirius to slump to the ground.

“Oi, sod off!” Peter shouted, landing a punch square to the other boy’s jaw, sending him staggering back a few steps.

Sirius stared up at Peter in awe, hand holding his throat as he gasped for the air that his lungs had been so rudely denied. He smiled at the blonde, pride swallowing him as he watched his shy and innocent friend sneer at the Slytherin.

Peter whipped back around as the boy fled, his confident attitude immediately diminishing as he stared down sheepishly at his gasping counterpart.

“You got one nasty right hook there, Pete,” Sirius chuckled as Peter pulled him up from the ground.

And Sirius was happy to be alive.

—

It was three months after his attempt when Sirius Black found himself swimming in the creek with his best friends.

They had been out of school for only a week, when James proposed the idea of inviting Remus and Peter over, and of course Sirius thought it was genius.

The four of them were excited to go swimming in the creek, but Sirius just couldn’t help but feel a small tinge of dread as they walked barefoot through the grass.

He was suddenly self conscious, completely the opposite of how he used to be just a year ago.

It was almost hard to believe that the boy who used to run around shirtless in the common room just to get on Lily’s nerves was the same boy who was nervously gripping at his baggy tshirt now.

James and Peter wasted no time shedding their shirts and diving into the water, instantly starting a splash war. Sirius gulped as he looked down nervously, knuckles turning white against the cloth.

“You don’t have to take it off,” Remus said softly, startling Sirius.

The sandy haired boy reached a hand up and cupped the side of Sirius’ neck, brushing his thumb along the skin gently.

“If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll leave mine on too,” Remus offered with a smile, hand dropping from the boy’s neck, only to lace their fingers together.

Sirius was caught off guard by Remus’ returning affection, something he had been so starved of for so long. He smiled gratefully at him and nodded his head, letting Remus tug him towards the water.

And Sirius was happy to be alive.

—

It was four months after his attempt when Sirius Black found himself kissing Remus Lupin in his backyard under the stars.

Euphemia was the one who suggested Remus come over to James, the both of them having noticed Sirius’ sudden loss of appetite again. So, Remus came over for dinner and Sirius was completely and utterly thrilled.

That one meal was the most food that the three Potters had seen Sirius eat in the last week, and there was no way to describe the amount of relief that they had felt at just the sight of it.

When Remus had to leave, Euphemia hugged his neck, trying to fight back the tears in her eyes as she thanked him for taking care of her son.

And she didn’t mean James.

Sirius smiled warmly at the sight —eyes dripping with love— before he made his way to the backyard, Remus following close behind. He would be apparating home, and Sirius wanted to see him off.

“Thank you, for coming,” Sirius said softly, staring down at his feet.

He hated that he was so nervous, he felt incredibly stupid for it, actually. In all honesty, he was glad how dark it was outside, that way Remus wouldn’t be able to see the blush tinting his cheeks.

“I know I really messed up, Moons, I know I did. Thank you for forgiving me when you didn’t have to a-and for saving me in the astronomy tower and for being here when I—”

But Sirius couldn’t finish due to the soft lips that were suddenly pressing against his, arms winding tightly around his waist. It took him a solid three seconds before he finally registered that Remus was kissing him, and he finally allowed himself to kiss back.

He couldn’t even begin trying to explain the warmth that exploded inside of his chest as he wound his arms around the other’s neck, pulling him in even closer.

And Sirius was happy to be alive.

—

It was five and a half months after his attempt when Sirius Black found himself snuggled up next to Remus on the Hogwarts Express.

Summer had finally come and gone and Remus nearly fell backwards when Sirius tackled him in a hug, littering kisses all across his pale cheeks as he stood in the compartment doorway.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” Sirius said between kisses, a grin painted on his lips.

Remus simply laughed, hugging Sirius back tightly before prying the boy off of him. “I love you too, Pads,” he chuckled, pressing a single kiss to the tan boy’s forehead.

James faked a gag at the two of them, but the happiness he felt over the fact that they were back together was very apparent on his face.

The three boys settled into their compartment —Peter joining them just a few minutes later— and began talking about what they believed would be happening during the upcoming school year.

Remus had an arm wrapped securely around Sirius’ waist, holding him flush to his side. Sirius couldn’t help up smile, relishing in the warmth and comfort that Moony gave off, soaking it all in as he held onto his boyfriend’s sweater.

He stared up at Remus while he talked, admiring the features he loved oh so much, making sure to take a mental image of this perfect boy.

When Remus finally looked down, his eyes went a little wide, a faint blush trailing across his scarred nose. He raised a hand up to brush some of the hair out of Sirius’ face, tucking it behind his ear.

“What?” Remus asked, smiling widely.

Sirius let out a breathy laugh, pulling Remus’ face down to press a soft kiss to his lips. When he pulled away and their eyes met, he finally felt as if everything was going to be alright.

“I’m so happy that I’m alive.”

[lupin-for-president]

Pretty Pink Paper

(Jeddy)

—

James Sirius knew it was foolish, falling in love with his blue-haired best friend, who also happened to be seven whole years older than him. It was the type of situation that would only end up hurting James in the end, he knew that better than anyone.

But he just couldn’t help it.

It was impossible for him not to fall in love Teddy—especially with the way Teddy acted around him. The way Teddy spoke to him. The way Teddy touched him. The way Teddy smiled at him. The way Teddy looked at him.

Teddy treated James like he was the most important person on the entire earth.

And James drank it up like honey.

Everything about Teddy was so addicting to him. There wasn’t a single thing about the scrawny little punk that James didn’t wholeheartedly love and adore.

The way Teddy always laughed —a little too hard— when James would be the one to tell him a cheesy joke.

How Teddy would always match his eye color to his outfit and make sure to ask James’ opinion on it before leaving the house.

The way Teddy’s nose would scrunch up whenever James would be applying his blush and eyeliner for him, muttering a “Hold still, Ted” as he held the cap between his teeth.

How Teddy’s arms felt draped loosely over James as he leaned over to show the boy how to play a certain piano chord correctly.

The way Teddy would struggle to stay awake throughout an entire movie —no matter the time of day— and always ended up falling asleep on James’ shoulder.

How Teddy would use any spare minute of his free time to teach James more new tricks to do on his broom so that he could impress his friends.

The way Teddy would stick out his lip —and beg and plead— until James finally caved in and played with or braided his hair, Teddy smiling smugly at the tiny victory.

How everytime Teddy was upset, the first person he would go to would be James, and he would bury his face into his chest and cry until he felt better.

The way Teddy would interrupt James’ reading by running into his room and playing air guitar while singing at the top of his lungs.

How Teddy made a chocolate cupcake for James’ birthday every single year —refusing help from anyone else in the house— and ended up burning it each and every time.

The way Teddy ruffled a hand through James’ messy brown hair every time he walked past him, flashing him a cheeky closed eye grin as he did so.

How Teddy was always there, no matter what.

It wasn’t James’ fault that he fell in love with Teddy. It was the cruel fault of the universe for having put someone so exceptionally perfect into his life, then expecting him not to be affected by it.

It was James’ fault, however, that Teddy happened to find out about these feelings.

Teddy shouldn’t have been sneaking around in James’ room, sure, but James was the one that had forgotten to put the old, tattered brown shoebox back in its hiding place under his bed.

That exact brown shoebox was the very gateway to the most extreme form of embarrassment that James Sirius had ever had the displeasure of facing throughout his entire sixteen years of life.

It was the shoebox full of his love letters, all of which were —very blatantly— addressed to Teddy.

He had just celebrated his birthday a week prior and he was more than thrilled to be lounging at home during his summer break from Hogwarts. He and Teddy had been basically inseparable since the beginning of summer —not that that was anything new— and James was genuinely very happy.

That is, until he came back up to his room from having grabbed a plate of cookies in the kitchen, only to find Teddy —sitting on the edge of James’ bed, a brown shoebox in his lap, and pink slips of paper in his hands— with furrowed brows and his lip tucked between his teeth.

Teddy hadn’t heard James come in at first. In fact, he didn’t even know he had entered the room until the sound of glass shattering pierced through the air, James having dropped his plate full of cookies due to the sudden trembling of his hands.

A small piece of James was hoping —praying— to whatever gods above that maybe Teddy hadn’t really read any of the letters at all. But from the wide eyed, red faced look that Teddy gave him upon getting caught, what little hope James had flickering inside him was immediately distinguished.

He felt sick, nauseous, and insanely lightheaded as he bolted out of the door, making a beeline for the bathroom. A singe of pain surged up from the bottom of his foot as he realized he had stepped on a shard of the broken plate during his hasty escape, but he didn’t dare pause to check it.

He could hear the heavy footsteps following quickly after him —and the faint shouting, too— though it was muffled from the pounding of his heartbeat ringing in his eardrums. As soon as he made it to the bathroom, he shut the door and pushed his foot up against it, turning the lock just in time to be greeted by a chorus of loud banging.

“Jamie! Jamie, open up!” Teddy shouted from the other side, hands bashing against the wood.

James couldn’t answer due to him falling to his knees in front of the toilet and emptying out the contents of what was —most likely— his breakfast from earlier. He didn’t stop hurling until there was absolutely nothing left, his forehead drenched in sweat as he panted to catch his breath.

“Open the door, Jamie! Come on, it’s me. Just open the door, we can talk this out!” Teddy blurted, his hard knocks not missing a beat.

“Go away,” James answered back weakly, his voice strained.

Rivers were trailing down his cheeks now, dripping into the corners of his cracked lips. As the sobs wracked through his body, he pulled his knees up firm against his chest, fingers digging deep into his upper arms as he tried to calm himself down. A small pool of blood started forming under his right foot from the cut, which only caused his blood pressure to spike even more as he glanced down at it.

It had been a while since he had experienced a panic attack that was this bad. It had actually been almost a full year, in fact.

Normally, the only thing that would successfully calm him down was if Teddy cupped his face firmly in his hands and whispered countless soothing words to him as he forced him to maintain eye contact. Teddy would always constantly switch the color of his irises —sometimes even making them swirl— in order to make James’ attention focus on anything else but the initial cause of the attack.

But this time, Teddy was the cause of it.

And now James was having to calm himself back down all on his own.

And it wasn’t working.

And he couldn’t breathe.

And his chest hurt so bad.

And all he could think of was the sight of Teddy.

Brown shoebox sitting in his lap.

Pink slips of paper in his hands.

Reading each and every one of James’ sinful and foolish desires.

And the thought of Teddy being absolutely disgusted with James for even daring to think about him in even the slightest bit of a romantic way plagued James’ poor mind.

It was all too much.

And the world felt like it was spinning.

And the only thing keeping him rooted was the pain from his nails digging into his skin and the sound of Teddy’s worried screams.

It felt like it went on for hours.

But that’s because it did.

Ginny finally came home from training four hours later to find a shaking and stressed Teddy, tear tracks tattooing his flushed cheeks as he hysterically explained what had happened and how he had tried to use a spell to unlock the bathroom door but that he couldn’t even think straight enough to use it and James had been quiet for a long time now and he was so bloody worried that he had done something while locked in there by himself and he couldn’t break into the bathroom to check on him and his mind was reaming with the worst possibilities and—

Ginny cut him off with a hug, giving his torso a quick squeeze before pulling back and asking which bathroom James had locked himself in. Teddy shakily informed her it was the guest bathroom on the second floor, and the two of them raced up the stairs to see what could be done.

Of course, Ginny was able to cast the spell perfectly on her first try —it was a spell she had learned in her first year at Hogwarts after all— and the pair both let out the greatest sigh of relief when the door creaked open to reveal a sleeping James, seemingly unharmed apart from the gash on the bottom of his foot.

Ginny crouched down beside him, pressing a hand to his forehead gently before brushing away some of the hair in his eyes.

Teddy recognized that helpless and drained look of James’ unconscious body instantly. It was a look only he was exceptionally familiar with. He had seen it quite often —more often than he would like— whenever he would cradle James after he had tired himself out from an attack, immediately falling asleep against Teddy’s chest. Teddy was always the one there to make everything better.

But this time, that wasn’t the case.

“It’s all my fault,” Teddy whispered, his voice raw, “This is all my fault.”

“Teddy, honey, no,” Ginny shook her head, standing up to place a hand on Teddy’s flushed cheek. “It was an accident. You didn’t know what was going to be in that box.”

“It doesn’t matter what was in the fucking box,” he breathed, shaking his head, “I shouldn’t have been snooping through his stuff anyways. If I hadn’t, then he wouldn’t have caught me, and then he wouldn’t have had a panic attack without anyone here to—”

“Teddy,” Ginny cut him off, “We can play the blame game later, alright?”

“But—”

“No.” She shook her head. “Not right now. Please, can you just carry James to his room? Then you need to go get some rest, too. Before Harry comes home with questions as to what’s going on with his sons.”

Teddy stared at her for a moment before nodding, stepping around her and towards James’ sleeping form.

Regardless of being a grown man, he still found himself always listening to Ginny’s orders, no matter what.

He knelt down and looped an arm under James’ legs, his other wrapping securely around his back. He rose to his feet slowly, not wanting to wake the snoozing boy in his arms. Much to his surprise, James subconsciously buried his face into the front of Teddy’s sweater, releasing an incomprehensible string of murmurs before relaxing in Teddy’s arms once again.

Teddy nearly started crying again right there.

He silently brushed past Ginny and down the hallway, towards James’ bedroom. Upon entering, he made sure to stay clear of the broken glass littering the doorway.

He laid James down in bed gently, pulling his wand out of his back pocket and waving it strategically at the wound on James’ foot, watching as it immediately scarred up, all traces of blood vanishing. He then turned towards the broken plate and crumbled cookies on the floor, flicking his wand to gather the remnants up and —ever so gracefully— discarding them into the trash can.

Running a hand through his bright blue hair, he turned back to James, his eyes trailing all across his young, peaceful face. He tugged the blankets up over his sleeping form, tucking him in nice and warm. Brushing his fingertips along James’ forehead, Teddy leant down, moving the messy brown curls away to expose his smooth tan skin.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered —hardly above a whisper— as his lips ghosted against James’ forehead, “I am so sorry, James Sirius.”

When he pulled away, the cause of this entire dilemma caught in the corner of his eye. The brown shoebox that was still placed on the corner of James’ bed. Teddy knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help but to reach out for it anyways, his hand diving in and grabbing the first piece of pretty pink paper that was sitting right on top.

All at once, Teddy felt his world shatter as his eyes took in the messy scrawl. He even had to place a hand over his mouth to muffle the sob that threatened to break through, a single tear descending from the corner of his eye.

The last part of the love letter read:

“One of these days you’re going to find all of these, and I need you to promise me something when that time comes. Please, don’t blame yourself for the attack I have afterwards, because I can assure you it isn’t your fault.”

Teddy shoved the note into his pocket before closing the box and sliding it back under James’ bed. Sending one last glance to his sleeping best friend, he silently left the room, doing his best not to blame himself for everything that had happened.

Just like James had asked.

[lupin-for-president]

what?? is this?? i, an insomniac?? going to bed??? at a decent hour??? for once???? is the??? world ending?? or something????

[lupin-for-president]

i love how i have consecutively convinced every single one of my followers that i am this soft and sweet and compassionate person when in all actuality i’m a borderline bitch with a huge inferiority complex that seriously couldn’t give two shits about anything at all

[lupin-for-president]

remus lupin is the type of person who is way too scared to tell the barista that they got his coffee order wrong but would not hesitate to punch someone right in the mouth for just looking at his friends the wrong way

[lupin-for-president]

this is bullshit, where are my sirius black cuddles :(