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whiteskullofroses · 1 year ago

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Hi! I saw that you accept request for Baldwin IV. If you do still accept, could you pls write one where y/n and Baldwin would stay up too late talking to each other until one falls asleeps? Thanks 💕

Hi there thank you for the request! And to clarify, you can always request any characters you want❤️ Enjoy!

LATE NIGHT TALK

Baldwin Iv x reader

It was a cold night in Jerusalem. You were walking around the palace gazing up at the stars and thinking about life when all of a sudden, a familiar voice grabbed your attention: "Y/N!" He called out to you from his room. It was all lit up with candles so you could see his shape clearly: "Care to join me?" The young king's voice sounded so energetic, even though it was already midnight. You answered: "With pleasure!" And happily headed out to his quarters.

Once you reached the hallway that led to his room, you noticed that the door was already opened for you but still, you knocked on the wood to make your presence known.

He turned from his desk to look at you. His mask shone from the candles around him and made his blue eyes sparkle.

"Care for a round?" Baldwin gestured towards the chess set and sat down at the table. "Y/n" Sitting down and listening to his words "I've missed you tonight. I rarely see you these days."

You smiled and replied: "Work has been incredibly tiring," taking a sip of some wine a servant poured: "I've hardly found any time for friends."

Baldwin leaned closer to you: "Well now it's the time. Relax."

You started the chess game and asked: "How come weren't you at the banquet last Monday?"

The King moved a pawn and sighed: "I had an unexpected meeting which I couldn't miss."

Nodding, you moved on since you didn't want to trouble him with hard topics so late in the night.

"Have you read any new poetry lately?" Asking him like you always do, you always loved to listen to him talk about the things he was passionate about, one of them being literature.

Whether it be myths from across Europe containing dragons and other mystical beings or poetry that many saw as simple, however from a trained eye's perspective it was true art projected onto paper.

"Yes, I've read this wonder piece from a book from France Preseren called 'Poezije'" Grabbing the book from a nearby chair and flipping through it, Baldwin proclaimed: "Would you like to hear it?"

"I'd love to, Baldwin." You supported your head with your elbow on the table, as the late hours of the night cut into your brains. "Where did you get it from?"

"I believe I got this book as a gift from my sister when she visited Carniola."

Finally, he started reading, his voice soft as ever:

Fresh flowers will spread fragrance far and near,

Like roses when the winter's passed away.

Your eyelids became heavier and heavier with every word he spoke:

And spring displays its marvelous array,

While through the trees white scattered blossoms peer

Your breathing became deeper, with waves of relaxation washing through your body. All of a sudden you felt like you were 10 years old again, when your mother used to read you books to help you fall asleep.

All this time away from your parents and away from your childhood made you forget how soothing it was and how much you enjoyed it.

Baldwin continued reading the poem whilst you were drifting off into peaceful sleep, right there on his 'chess table'.

He hardly noticed you falling asleep right opposite to him as he was focusing on the text he was reading. But when he finished reading the poem and looked up from the book, he realized you slept through half of it.

He chuckled to himself. Baldwin wasn't mad or annoyed with you, rather he felt a sort of fulfillment that he managed to get you to fall asleep.

For a moment he just sat there, staring at you. You didn't know it at the time but he admired you deeply. For your intelligence and your beauty. He found that this was one of the times he could truly silently look at you and not feel bad about it.

Whenever he would catch himself gazing upon you he would get this guilt deep in his chest. He felt as though it was appropriate for him to look at you when the two of you were just colleagues.

So he slowly walked up to you and carefully picked you up. Walking up to his bed and laying you down in the middle, he knew he couldn't sleep there that night, that would be simply too much.

He decided to go and spend the night in the guest room. Just as he was about to leave your side, you woke up and grabbed him by the wrist, gently but enough so he could feel it.

"Baldwin, stay."

THE END.

#baldwin iv #baldwin iv x reader #kingdom of heaven

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songfell-ut · 2 months ago

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Okay ONE more genderbend

No, I have not embarked upon assembling gay Songfell piece by piece instead of writing Songfell, I just had another brain rot that's actually been incredibly helpful: in addition to moving and my arm possibly needing surgical intervention (ortho is not being super helpful), I've been focused so much on Songfell's plot that what I've got just doesn't look right.

Well, making my teeny AU made me realize that I've been so busy plotting, I forgot the luv. This has reminded me of why I wrote the dang story in the first place: we all want to see a giant monster simping over a determined, musically inclined human. I will be fixing up chapter 35 and hopefully getting 'er up this month.

...but yes with the help of @skyartworkzzz I did dictate and sort of type this huge drabble, almost a one-shot, and you can't stop me it's too late ah ha ha ha

“Yer doin’ it again.”

Frisk was so lost in thought that it took him a moment to realize Sans had said something, and another to properly hear it. “Doing what again?” the priest inquired, sitting up from his half-slouch over the table.

The giant skeleton sauntered over and tapped the wood surface. Frisk thought at first that he meant the plates from dinner they hadn’t cleaned up yet, but no: Sans was looking at Frisk’s hands. “That thing with yer fingers. Ya wiggle ‘em sometimes when you’re really out of it.” Sans demonstrated with a waggle of his own phalanges, seating himself not far away. “Are ya mad about somethin’? If you wanna wring somebody’s neck, I can do it for ya,” he added generously.

Frisk snorted, scratching his ribs through the shirt he wore under his robe, noticing how Sans’ gaze instantly followed the motion. Better stay on topic; he wasn’t eager for more questions about why human males only sort of had boobs or whether there was as much hair on his chest as his head. “I think I’ve made my stance on murder clear, Sans,” said the High Priest, trying very hard to sound stern.

“Nope, doesn’t wring a bell,” the skeleton said cheerfully, and was rewarded with a snrrk that made him grin about a mile wide. “Ha! I win. Now ya hafta tell me what you’re doin’.”

“That was a good one,” Frisk admitted, rubbing his nose. “All right, then.” He looked at his hand, sobering a little, tapping the thumb and forefinger together. “Here.” With no further warning, he snapped his fingers so hard that Sans flinched. “Sorry,” said the priest, offering a rueful smile that made Sans scowl back. “I just took the barrier off the closet in the corner of my office. Would you please go and open it for me, and bring me what’s inside?”

Nonplussed, the boss monster obediently vanished. A few long moments later, he reappeared with something that looked like a toy in his massive hands. “Ta-da,” he said gravely, trying to hold it properly.

Frisk laughed and took the guitar from the skeleton’s loose grasp. “Thank you,” he said, tilting it onto its side. Something rattled, and he turned the instrument over to shake out a small tortoiseshell pick. “This, sir, is the answer you seek. Sometimes when I’m tired, I’ll think about playing it.” He slid off the chair to retrieve the pick and find a patch of floor to sit cross-legged. “I haven’t touched this in months,” he murmured, stroking the long neck.

He missed Sans’ swift glance at his lap, and how the skeleton’s cheekbones flickered with a few shades of red before he said, “Weird. I get bein’ too busy, but why’s it locked up? Habit?”

“Sort of. When I first moved up here, I thought the servants might take it.” Sans made a disbelieving sound, and Frisk clarified, “I don’t mean they’d steal it. I was afraid that if His Holiness knew it was here, he’d have them remove it.”

The skeleton disbelieved louder. “The hell? Does the Church think they’re evil or somethin’?” He settled on the floor a few feet away.

“Not evil, no,” said Frisk, still examining the guitar, “just…frivolous. If I had a piano or a cello up here, that would be one thing, but this is considered uncouth.” The young man plucked gingerly at the top string, and winced. “Now that’s bad. Positively E-vil.” He plucked again, then fiddled with a knob.

Sans had a good chuckle at that, and didn’t hide his further amusement at how the sound wobbled up and down, but he stayed quiet while Frisk hummed under his breath and turned another knob, wibb-wobbling the string’s pitch till it was as accurate as the young man could get by ear. Then Frisk tried the next string, humming, adjusting till it was in tune with the E; when the next string proved accurate almost immediately, though, he caught Sans’ disappointment and very, very gently turned the knob the wrong way to make it go wooooaaaaooo.

The boss monster cackled in appreciation. “Do it again,” he urged Frisk, reclining on his side and scooting closer for a better look.

“I can’t do it too much,” Frisk replied. Far from minding an audience literally looming over him, he found himself rather pleased to show Sans how the knobs worked. “This works by tightening or loosening the strings, see?” He demonstrated again, letting the skeleton lean in close enough to almost bump heads. “I haven’t replaced these in a while, but I don’t have any spares. I should probably take care of that before I play anything.”

Sans cocked his enormous head. There was a long moment of Frisk conspicuously not stopping and in fact continuing to tune the thing, and the boss monster nodded in understanding that guitar strings were probably not okay, either; however, the truth was that he was watching with such interest that Frisk was too flattered to stop. It was stupid to toodle around with a poorly maintained instrument just to show off, but all.he could think was that he should’ve known Sans wouldn’t care whether this was a waste of time or not, or that he could barely play anything.

The skeleton was evidently thinking the same thing. “So your boss wouldn’t want you doin’ this?” he asked. “The hell does he care as long as yer work’s gettin’ done? He’s not your friggin’ dad. …Is he?”

Frisk played a few mildly amused notes. “No. But I was only nineteen when they made me High Priest, and he thought I was going to be easy to manipulate.” Sans snorted in such derision that Frisk felt a little tingle of pride. “It was exactly the sort of thing he would have done to keep me in my place,” the latter continued. “He’d also tattle to my actual father, and he would have said something. But I’m of age now, so…” He tried another chord, and let it trail off.

“Why’d they teach you ta play it if it’s that bad?” the boss monster persisted. “Ya know all yer music stuff from school, right?”

Frisk tapped the pick absently on the guitar’s belly. “Yes, but not from the monks. I learned it when we were all working in the kitchen.”

Sans lifted a browbone. “Was that a normal thing? Learnin’ discipline or humility or somethin’?”

“Well, yes, and no.” The young man tried a short scale, correcting the last note. “Everyone in our dormitory was being punished. We had to go down after dinner and clean up after the entire monastery.” He couldn’t help wincing. “I hadn’t done anything wrong, so they let me sit with a lay worker who played guitar to entertain everyone. I sang with him and watched how it was done, and nobody told on me for a few months.”

“‘Lay’ worker?” Sans’ tone was much too innocent, and he answered Frisk’s don’t you dare squint with a cheerful “I didn’t know gettin’ laid was a church job.”

The High Priest snorted so hard that he almost dropped the pick. “That’s not what that means,” he informed his apprentice, barely fighting down his amusement before he resumed, “It just means someone employed by the church who hasn’t taken any vows.” But his smile faded to a grimace. “You’re actually not far off. That’s…” Frisk played a few more notes at random. “I think I was seventeen. There was a bad cold going around the monastery. Most of the acolytes got over it in a few days, but everyone in charge – the abbot, the higher deacons, et cetera – all caught it at once.” He strummed an overly dramatic chord. “I’m still impressed how bad things got. It was chaos for a solid month. Anyone who wanted to really misbehave had a good time.”

“Yeah?” To Frisk’s disappointment, the skeleton moved away and turned to lie flat on his spine, stretching his huge limbs across the workroom floor. “So who got laid? Thought humans don’t count it if you’re both guys.”

Frisk was now glad that Sans wasn’t watching: his entire head felt beet-red. “No, it was women working in the outbuildings,” he said with decent composure, trying another chord. “They were supposed to stay out of the monastery, but someone bribed the guards into letting them ‘visit’ back and forth. When the abbot found out, he sent off every female in a five-mile radius and had us take over their work. But then they started writing letters claiming paternity—I think there were over thirty acknowledged pregnancies after the dust settled.”

It was Sans’ turn to snort. “Holy shit. That fast?”

“That fast,” Frisk said shortly.

The boss monster scrunched up his nasal bone, obviously remembering what Frisk had told him about humans’ treatment of unwed mothers. “Well, that was a shitty thing to do. Not like any of those guys could marry ‘em, right?”

Frisk hesitated. How to put this? “Yes, but the ladies knew that. For a lot of them, it was a…we’ll call it a different opportunity,” he said, much more rueful than judgmental. “Noble families want their sons educated at the monastery, but it’s also to keep them from having their own children.” He flipped the pick over the backs of his fingers, a trick he was inordinately pleased to still do. “I will say this. If someone does leave a girl in difficulty, he’s expected to provide at least something for her and the child. Their families had a lot of questions.” He sighed in exasperation. “Word got all the way back to His Majesty. It was a huge mess. You could say the ‘lay’ worker was the only one who shouldn’t be called that.”

He expected Sans to laugh, but when Frisk peeked at him, the boss monster seemed more pensive than amused; his sockets were fixed on the basket of letters. It took Frisk a second to guess what he might be thinking, and when Sans finally shifted back onto his side to look at him, he found the priest glaring at him, daring him to even ask about his own participation. “Glad nobody was a hardass about you gettin’ blamed,” the skeleton said amiably, and Frisk relaxed a little. “Ya know what? Never mind all that crap.” Sans shifted and settled onto his side again. “Knock yerself out on that thing, I don’t care. I’m not gonna tell on ya.”

The young man sat for a moment, tapping the pick against the strings one after another. Sans was right: no need to get into how he had had to literally hide from his peers trying to drag him along to meet some of their new “friends,” or how his father – a prolific creator of children – had publicly commended Frisk for behaving like a true man of the Church, but hinted privately that he would understand if his son started sowing some oats in the very near future. It wasn’t just normal for a gentleman of his rank, but more or less expected to prove his manhood and create more magically gifted progeny of his own, whether or not he was married. Being a busy clergyman had saved Frisk from direct pressure thus far, but— “Here’s a good one,” he said to the skeleton, who obligingly scooted closer. “Don’t laugh, if you please.”

“Not unless it’s funny,” Sans said lazily.

Fair enough. Frisk shut his eyes for a moment, letting his fingers arrange themselves the way they had whenever he could sneak in some practice back when he was just a priest, a former student who could have a damn second to himself that he didn’t have to account for. People had popped their heads in to check if he really was just playing a borrowed guitar, but he was regarded as such a goody-goody that nobody gave him a hard time. He had stumbled across a few young men taking private moments for themselves or with each other, but he never told…

Well, no point getting angry now. It was too nice to sit near-ish the fire and do nothing useful, just empty his mind of everything but what to do to make the sounds he wanted to play. He wasn’t alone, either; the massive skeleton looming over his shoulder was a warm, solid presence that made the High Priest feel less like he was being monitored and more protected, accepted for whatever he wanted to do—just the pleasure of his company. That was what he’d told Sans back when he gave him his new clothes, wasn’t it?

Now there was an idea, so interesting that Frisk barely noticed himself picking out the bare bones – ha – of a favorite old song. He should really get Sans another set of clothing, something he could change into that wasn’t ragged canvas or just nothing at all. Not that Sans was particularly modest: he hadn’t been bothered by the notion of Frisk forcibly removing him from the bathroom, reminding the human that they were both male and he didn’t have anything private to see. Was that why he kept asking Frisk questions about humans that he could find in any of his textbooks? The notion of fleshy bits that changed consistency and produced weird fluids at inconsistent intervals couldn’t be an appealing one, not to a being made of solid bone.

…

Why did that thought suddenly bother him?

…Dirt, he’d just played a very bad note. The priest mumbled an apology and adjusted his grip, chagrined at ruining a peaceful moment with more of that nonsense. Not for the first time, he reminded himself that it was not all right to let his imagination charge off after someone who was not just under his care, but in his power; it was immoral at best to use Sans to investigate whether his libido – always plenty strong, simply refusing to attach itself to anyone, no matter how attractive they were – might just be resistant to humans. He’d keep relaxing and enjoying his apprentice’s literal support—Sans was close enough that Frisk caught himself about to lean back against his gigantic lower ribs. That was what most top scholars called a “no-no.”

…Was it, though? When Frisk glanced up, he saw Sans closing his sockets, and the skeleton’s expression and body language were so peaceful that Frisk had to smile again. Never mind thoughts of fleshy bits and bones, just enjoy having him here. No more recurring thoughts of how monsters didn’t care about gender or how fond of him Sans might be. No wondering what bone felt like on fleshy bi—on totally normal skin, or whether Sans would let him poke the gaps in his metacarpals…or what bone might feel like on his hands, maybe running along his—

And something happened that Frisk had never experienced before, at least contextually. He was a healthy young man, and he had had his body act out at complete random just as often as anyone else; what had not happened was specifically thinking of one person who was right here and then having a specific reaction to that specific person. And it wasn’t—stopping at all, it was getting worse and he had to focus harder (ha!) on distracting himself. Maybe if he played louder?

There was a sharp sound and a burst of pain, and Frisk dropped the guitar, Sans jerking upright as the priest clutched his hand. “Frisk! What happened?! You okay?”

“I’m fine. The string snapped,” Frisk said tersely, holding it up for the skeleton to see the near-bleeding welt on the back of his hand. At least it was the ideal excuse to rise to his knees and lean forward enough for his nightshirt to hang forward, because the burst of adrenaline had not quieted anything down. “It’s my fault, I even said I shouldn’t play the damn thing—”

And of course, that was Sans’ cue to scowl and give Frisk another jolt by seizing his wrist between his thumb and forefinger, holding him utterly still in a huge, inescapable, but gentle grasp. It was for the best that Frisk froze in place, heat flooding his senses as the boss monster summoned a wisp of green magic. “There we go,” he said after a moment. “All better?” And it might have been okay if he hadn’t absently rubbed Frisk’s forearm with his thumb.

Neither of them would ever be sure exactly how Frisk did it, but the next second, he was somehow on his feet and turning away in a blur of “Thankyouvermch”; before Sans could get a solid look at him, the human was already disappearing into the bathroom and slamming the door.

Sans knelt in silence long enough for the blankness to recede and confusion to step into its place. What the fuck was that? Was Frisk really that upset over one crappy judgment call?

…Or…Sans had been watching very close – almost got caught that one time – and he wasn’t sure that he hadn’t seen something. He had read that human males just kind of did that sometimes without meaning to and it was considered hugely embarrassing, which would explain why Frisk had run off like that. Funny, he had never had that problem before in all the time Sans had spent around him, though the boss monster had admittedly tried to avoid looking.

Humans were weird. Sans picked up the guitar very delicately, examining the broken string. Stupid damn thing, he had half a mind to throw it in the fireplace—but that would probably not help. Besides, Frisk had been really happy whenever he wasn’t talking about other humans being stupid. Sans had never seen him so relaxed; it was almost a given that the only people who could boss Frisk around didn’t want him to.

At least Frisk had felt comfortable enough to play with it in front of him. …The guitar. Comfortable enough to play the guitar. Yep. It kind of suck—it was kind of shitty that the dumb thing was unusable now, and fucking stupid that someone this rich and powerful couldn’t get something so simple without…hmmm. Sans daintily retrieved the pick, and got up.

Frisk was debating how to leave the bathroom in the most face-saving way when a sound made him nearly fall over: the workroom’s double doors were open and Sans was talking, presumably to the guards. What the—the priest grabbed a towel, speed-dabbed the rest of the cold water away, adjusted his garments, and…hesitated, milliseconds before striding into view wearing his nightclothes. Instead he listened, and thus heard a guard saying, “…you mean…er…sir?”

“Is there some other meanin’ of ‘Gimme some new strings for this thing’?” Sans’ voice was so exaggeratedly polite that Frisk didn’t know whether to laugh or bang his head on the doorframe. “His Eminence has graciously allowed me t’learn about human stuff, and all I can learn from this thing is that guitars need all the strings or they sound like crap. So the next time somebody delivers stuff up here, they can bring ‘em. Right?”

Frisk could almost hear the guards giving each other uncertain looks. “Er…”

“Right. Thank you!” With obscene cheer, the giant skeleton slammed the doors shut. Then he opened them again. “Oh. Wait. Here.” The dirty dishes flew from the table to the trolley, which was shoved out, and the doors slammed again. “There we go, boss,” Sans said over his shoulder. “You good now?”

“…I am. Thank you.” The human took a deep breath, and let it out. “I’m going to take a bath. Read the chapter on topical analgesics, please, and we’ll discuss it before bed. …Sleep. Before we sleep.” And he shut the door again before Sans could respond. He had a lot to think about.

#songfell #is it disrespectful to call it dongfell #frans #slightly suggestive #fic came before the sketch I just had to have both #dongfell

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lilwnet · 10 months ago

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Spencer Dating a True Crime Fan: Headcanons

Summary: a true crime junkie and an FBI agent, the Universe must be laughing its lungs out. Some vague-ish headcanons on what it’s like to be in such a relationship. In general, the sweetest, most supportive boyfriend Spencer Reid, and caring, brilliant you.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x gn!reader

Warnings: don’t think I went to extremes or described anything graphic, however, I’d recommend giving it a pass if you aren’t comfortable with anything true crime. Besides, it’s kinda long and isn’t proofread.

A/N: I’m not a native English speaker, and it’s frustratingly hard for me to speak — and write — good, authentic English, especially grammar- and punctuation-vise as my first language interferes heavily. Hence, beware because there are mistakes!

When you say it to Spencer or he sees you getting interested in a book dedicated to a prolific murderer, he’s perplexed. Being exposed to so much evil in his life, he couldn’t wrap his head around the reason for you to be so invested in true crime.

Yet, when you explain it to him, he wonders if he’s a true crime fan, too.

For you, it’s always been quite fascinating why people resort to such a brutal, inhumane and cruel way of dealing with daily struggles; then, you say about “stranger danger”, your parents’ precautions and warnings that made you curious from the very young age why they are so focused — or overly focused — on safety. Finally, you want to understand why some people get high off killing others, meaning, you’d like to get a hang of their brain’s system, of their choices, life, history, psychological evaluation. In general, that coincides with what he does for a living.

I believe you wouldn’t know about his occupation at that point of your relationship. It’s pretty early on, quite possibly the first date when Spencer rather nervously asks you to tell more about yourself that you just blurt it out. The thing is, you’ve grown quite used to the fact that some people find you weird for taking a liking in such a dark topic. You thought, the earlier you say, the lesser it’d hurt if you were to go your separate ways.

However, Spencer surprises you. After your explanation, he seems to get it and then laughs genuinely as he realises how comical the situation is. If you meet through one of your mutual friends, Reid will question their sense of humor. If you meet randomly, he doesn’t know what to question, yet will get pumped up by fate’s unpredictable, always on-point turns.

You, a true crime junkie, is now dating an FBI agent, an SSA with BAU.

When he finally stops laughing and sees your bemused reaction, he proceeds to reveal his job, and you join the new wave of laughter.

After that, you talk about some cases he deals with, although you try your best to read, profile the agent to avoid pressuring him into reliving said crimes. Later on, the mutual agreement would be to only talk about it when both want to.

Surprisingly, Spencer feels like talking about it a lot, still he doesn’t resolve to graphical descriptions. He finds it soothing to share the story and push it right to the back of his head.

You, in turn, are a remarkably good, careful listener who doesn’t hide their emotions. You shed tears if it hits you hard, you comment when you believe a killer to be an absolute idiot, you make a face when you’re disgusted or annoyed.

Reid finds it refreshing; his colleagues, he himself, have built up façades as nonchalant, unfazed, gathered, their walls too high and thick for anyone to question the authority and experience.

Maybe it isn’t just the sharing part that helps him go through the hardest aspects of his job, but you, your mannerism and your presence.

What he likes most is how compassionate you are. You both believe the rationale for it is the amount of information you know about true crime.

When you discuss something — his case or something one of you has read — and you ask Reid about a victim’s family or focus on a victim’s background rather than a killer’s, he can’t help but hug you tight.

As an FBI agent, Spencer has gone to a couple of crime-related events, orchestrated by FBI or scrutinisingly arranged by ex-BAU agents, and he knows how little attention people pay to those who suffer the most. So, seeing you doing the exact opposite of what he encounters daily melts his heart.

Now, if you’re just a listener and/or a reader, he will ask you about your favourite podcasts or Youtube channels to buy a ticket — or tickets — to their shows or find you books about some perpetrators he believes you might find fascinating to study.

BUT if you’re doing a podcast or a Youtube show, or both, it’s a whole different story.

The minute you say it, Spencer is hooked on and ties himself in knots to find out more. You don’t show him an episode as you find it rather embarrassing, hence, Dr. Reid resolves to the only option he can think of.

Spencer asks Penelope to show him how to use Youtube or a podcast app. Garcia is surprised and eager to help, albeit upset when she realises Reid won’t say a word to explain his sudden interest in technology.

When he picks up the interface and the general idea of a website, he buys a new phone to have a chance to listen to your voice and to see you in both a Youtube box and a FaceTime box when he’s away on never-ending cases.

If you have a concept of doing something simultaneously while talking true crime — think of Bailey Sarian or MissMangoButt — he’d be so impressed. True crime is hard enough as there are many subtle, intricate details to elaborate on, and you do it almost effortlessly while focusing on something else at the same time!

(If you’re knitting, Spencer’ll ask you to knit something for him to see you do it while elaborating on a story, and he feels so soft inside, he can’t really explain why).

If you’re just telling a story, he’s as equally impressed. Spencer has a stage fear, a fear of public speaking, he’s camera shy. And you’re there talking, providing photos, your reaction is as real as when the two of you talk. You seem so natural at it.

Dr. Reid’s well-aware of every case you discuss or at least he has heard of them. He still listens or watches amid a) your style of telling a story; b) your humour and your mannerism; c) it’s you… how he can not listen to you or watch you? Apart from that, you’re doing something to spread awareness on never-decreasing crime rates.

Besides, he’s awestruck at the way you tell a story like some novelists do. An intriguing beginning, either slowly painting the surroundings for listeners or almost shoving them right into the midst of a case, then a build-up that leads to a climax and an end, letting your listeners know that some weirdos are held accountable or concluding that criminals never stop.

At first, the genuis listens to it when he’s home alone or in hotel/motel rooms after his own cases. Then, Spencer plucks up the courage to say he’s so proud of you and your work and provides you with a number of episodes he has watched or listened so far.

“I feel like I might become a true crime junkie because of you,” he’d joke. “Seriously, I would love to listen to all of them, but I don’t want to look, uh,” Reid stumbles over his words not to sound rude. “I don’t really want strangers or my colleagues to listen to what I’m listening to.”

Next thing Spencer knows you gift him two different pairs of wired headphones; the first goes with his phone, the second quickly reminds him of the headphones he once described as the only technology he has seen that he’d like to have.

Yeah, he’s a true crime junkie now, too, but he is your true crime junkie. Spencer watches all the episodes until he runs out of them and then waits patiently for the uploading day.

He grows so comfortable with your soothing voice, it helps him sleep. When you joke about something, Reid chuckles and, strangely, has no shame for it, even when five pairs of eyes stare at him, puzzled, while he sits comfortably with his eyes shut and his headphones in.

When he sees you doing some research or writing a script for another story, he won’t intervene unless you ask him to. He won’t be offended if you’re working things on your own — because why would he be? — but he’s so happy to give you a hand. To him, it means you value his ideas and opinion.

Spencer helps you find the information you need by just stating a fact or a detail you’ve spent an hour looking for, or scanning through your script if it seems shabby to you. In most cases, he says that you’re an overthinker, and everything is great, yet he does provide the critique to enhance your work.

If you have a concept similar to Payton Moreland’s “Binged” when she examines two cases on a common theme, he might suggest you cases to look at.

Sorry, but he’ll never join an episode, and you shouldn’t push him to.

Now, topics are heavy, still Spencer knows his limits and takes breaks when needed to avoid overstimulating his mind or getting increasingly anxious on daily basis.

Furthermore, he lets you accept that you need to have a rest, too, for the exact same reasons.

True crime aside, you still have so much to talk about, from gossips to carpet history.

Bonus: with Spencer slowly opening up to technology, you two exchange breakthroughs in cold cases.

For example, when the Golden State Killer was caught, you two spent the majority of the day connecting the dots and discussing the case, and the court hearing made you two shook.

He didn’t actually work that day, and neither did you, but who cares?

Hotch does, so you better keep low-profile.

#off point but Spencer would 100000% date a podcast reader who sends him 47 minutes voice message and he listens to all of it on 1x #btw didn’t like making him less technophobic… it’s such a he-trait and loosing it is :(#criminal minds #cm #criminal minds headcanons #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid headcanon #spencer reid headcanons #spencer reid x y/n

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nocturnowlette · 9 months ago

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Fun Hypnotic Ideas #2: Memory Play

My next few entries into this series will be re-iterating some things I've talked about before, so apologies if you have read all of my former posts before now.

First off, if you’re the subject, MAKE SURE that you trust your hypnotist. This is something you only wanna do with someone that you know would not abuse it. Not everyone is affected enough to where its easy to do such a thing, but that’s not a gamble you want to take if you find your hypnotist even slightly iffy. This is, undoubtedly, the dangerous side of hypnosis.

If you’re a hypnotist, be sure to inform your subject of all of this and take things very slowly at first. Make sure that they want to continue before doing more, and make sure of those things out of trance while the person is fully sober and aware. Part of hypnosis a lot of the time is some aspect of role play, but you need to discuss what each party wants and is okay with beforehand. Install safeties to make sure that if something is happening that the subject doesn’t vibe with, that your suggestions can be rejected easily by them.

That all being said, from what I’ve found, you cannot make someone forget information they’ve already taken in. Our brains are quite stubborn in that regard. That being said, there are ways to both limit information coming in and also ways to deal with recalling information.

So, here are some ideas:

Suggest as a trance begins to direct the subjects focus on your words, focusing so much on each new word that it’s hard to remember what was said just a bit ago, going right to their subconscious instead of their conscious memory.

Focus on redirecting their memory when attempting to recall something specific. My hypnotist introduced me to this one, where any time you try to recall what happens during trance, the thought redirects to whatever the hypnotist wants. A trigger is the simplest, perhaps something that clears their thoughts like a bubble pop or something similar. In my opinion, it’s important that what their thought is directed to is something specific like a visual for it to be effective, instead of something abstract like “you will drop when you try to think.”

Another option is to suggest that the subject doesn’t want to recall or think about the trance. This is most effective if a lot of your suggestions focus strongly on obedience and devotion. Your subject willingly wanting not to do it can’t hurt.

The last option I have seen used well is to suggest that whenever you specifically ask your subject if they can remember something, it suddenly becomes impossible to think about or remember whatever you said. It can be a nice way to demonstrate the power of your suggestion and make it feel more legitimate and possible, which will then make it more effective.

However, the most effective practice, and the thing that will really put you over the top, is combining multiple if not all of these. If you have 5 traps set in place, even if some fail, each layer has a chance to intercept the recall.

And, of course, the most important part of all of these is to reinforce. Reinforce, reinforce, reinforce. I do not see enough hypnotists reinforce their suggestions enough. Reinforce them during the one trance, reinforce them during multiple trances after them. Give suggestions that it will keep getting stronger, and keep reinforcing after that.

Those are all of my thoughts on the topic for now. I've done some memory play with subjects and if they're strongly suggestible to you already, it can be a lot easier than you may think to make it very difficult for them to remember anything.

Be safe, and good luck.

#owlette #hypnosis #text hypnosis #memory play #mind conditioning #mind control #hypnosub #hypnok1nk

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rrat-king · 2 months ago

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Smart Bricker is so important to me! Especially because my thing with the Applebees siblings is they all have at least some level of ADHD in different ways. His thoughts truly run a mile a minute there is always at least 5 things ticking around in his head. Helio gave him ADHD because he knew if he didn't Bricker would lock in so hard he'd ascend to godhood /lh. He also made Bricker grow up in a racist church because he knew if he ever linked up with Adaine and Riz nothing would ever have stakes ever because they'd have it solved like that. Give king like one Fantasy Adderall and he's so focused you're not hearing from him for days.

And like, his siblings know he's fiercely smart as well like he's on Kristen's list of the smartest people she knows. Like she fully believes (though she'd never say this to him because that's embarrassing) no matter what he wants to do with life he can do it because he has the brains for it.

The converse is that if he has no interest in something he does not even pretend to GAF. Like everyone thinks he's bad at like, math because he doesn't try at it but its like he helps C with his homework a lot and he's fine. He just doesn't like math so he sees no reason to bother. Like yknow that kid in the back of the classroom who says ''Miss when are we ever gonna need this in life??'' That's him but 1. He keeps that to himself and 2. He thinks that about math in general. He completely genuinely sees no practical application for math in life.

Arguably him being smart is what enables him to be such a smartass. He's truly that one Mulaney bit that's like ''13 year olds are the meanest people in the world because 13 year olds will make fun of you but in an accurate way, they will get to the thing you don't like about you without even looking at you for long.''

And also as a fun tidbit. I agree he's definitely gay and you'll hate me for this one but his awakening was definitely Ricky Martin. I know he watched the Livin La Vida Loca music video on loop, because he ''liked the song''. Pre-Aguefort Kristen who didn't yet know what a gay person was thought it was just because he appreciated Ricky as an artist. It was not. She figured it out a few months after starting Aguefort but decided to let him realise it first and come to her.

the ricky martin thing is killig me so so much. literally he is obsessed with him but does not get it until he Gets It and. slightly life shattering what do you mean he just likes ricky martin the average amount (no one has had to guts to tell him the average amount is so low)

he has so little interest in the things he has qualified as unimportant. literally what do you mean he is going to use the quadratic formula? magic exists that is dumb and he doesn't care (does he know the whole formula and how to do it but just refuses to cuz it's boring? absolutly). he's one of those kids that is really good at getting the class off topic but the teachers are too charmed by him to stop it which is also. so annoying to his siblings cuz by god do adults like bricker and he doesn't get in trouble for anything cuz of it.

also dude. ur so absolutely right if him and adaine and riz all got together they would truly be such an unstoppable force it's just the issue that he's still dealing with how to be normal around other races cuz he has been so programmed with fucked up info and adiane and riz both have such a low tolerence of tweens. aelwyn can take the scathing jabs cuz she can she come right back at him but riz and adaine are morally conflicted over being mean to a 13 year old which. skill issue on thier part.

sorry yeah the ricky martin thing is going to haunt me and the only thing i can think to add is that it would translate bricker having a crush on ragh if he ever met him

#thank you for the ask this is wonderful <333 #d20 #dimension 20 #fantasy high #bird answers #bricker applebees

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therealcocoshady · 3 months ago

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i is getting like a half therpy (other reasons lawl) and half adhd diagnosis thingy, idk.

But honestly hyperfoucus has saved me so many times. Yesterday i wrote an 11 paragraph essay off the top of my head about Bones and All (silly canabalism movie (dont judge its a hyperfoucus i cant control 😭😭 its problomatic as hell but fuck it we ball yk) and i wrote it in like 30 mins 😭😭 When the hyperfoucus hits it hits hard

also i js wanted to also say... the smut... god lorrddd the smut on this blog ‼️‼️ absolutely yummalicious, beautiful writing and i need morreeeeeeeee. Cant consume enough ‼️

-🍄

Honestly, hyper focus is both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand it makes you so efficient and you can be so good at researching a topic and developing some sort of expertise on it super quickly. Same goes for assignments. Our brains thrive on last minute stuff, because of some sort of adrenaline/dopamine rush. So it gives us the ability of being super productive on a short time frame. And those happy hormone releases make it so addictive, too.

And sometimes, hyper focus is the worst liability, because you have obligations and commitments, but your brain just won't let go of whatever it is that you're focused on. And you don't even know if it'll last for hours, days, weeks, months or years. In the meantime, you're unable to do shit, because your brain space is taken.

Also, thank you for the smut compliment ! It means a lot to me because I feel so bad at writing it. I enjoy smutty content as much as the next sinful humain being, but I feel stupid writing it 95% of the time. 😅

#askcocoshady #cocoshady #adhd #adhd problems #neurodivergent #adhd brain #adhd things

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bonearenaofmyskull · 4 months ago

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Hey sooo sorry that this is irrelevant to Hannibal. Its about this youtube guy you said in one of your old old posts that you enjoyed. He is a bearded ginger guy that sits in front of the wooden wall of a warehouse with shelf talking about politics? Usually wears a hat. Usually his view is around 15-30k i think and he uploads daily.

for some reason I don’t know why i kept remembering him as Shia Labeouf??? And his youtube channel name is 4 words.

thanks to you i discovered his channel but i got uninterested so I unsubscribed, but now in my wee 5.30-6 am sleepless hour i suddenly missed him and was tryna search so hard but you know how that goes looking at my description

thank yew

It's Beau of the Fifth Column, and for the record I NEVER would have associated him with Shia Labeouf. I recommend his channel and the partner channel The Roads with Beau for anyone who wants non-sensationalized, realistic reporting, with a leftist bent, of foreign affairs, domestic affairs, climate change, science news, and occasional pop culture news insofar as it overlaps with one of the other categories. They also do occasional personal advice and are a good internet mom and dad for especially queer kids who need that. And they do charity work, give survival advice and tips whenever there is an ongoing weather event that is potentially life-threatening, and weekly q-and-a.

I'm referring to them as a partnership because Beau has left his position running the channels in the last week and turned it over to his wife because he is a workaholic, and it was affecting his health, charity work, and family. Other than them dropping one of their daily videos from the agenda and his wife (going by "Belle"--"Beau" was also a pseudonym) still being in that stage of finding her voice and comfortability in front of the camera, I haven't seen too much of a change in the quality of their commentary, though the jury is still out on that IMO--she seems a bit spicier than Beau but is still working control the nerves and be natural, and I'm not sure she's quite there with the way he would lay out his reasoning and show it coming around to his conclusions, though I don't think the conclusions themselves have changed in any significant way. It'll be really tested when they cover more foreign affairs because that was where Beau really shined, and it's my understanding he is really NOT involved in the channel at all anymore in any way, at least for the time being. Coverage has been very US election-focused since Belle took over.

My strongest general recommendation would to go back and watch every single video, in order, that Beau made about Gaza in order to understand why things have gone the way they've gone and why the US has made the moves they've made, and why other countries that are nominally pro-Palestine have done some of the things that they've done as well. That includes this dumb-it-down whiteboard video from last year. Most people will find him reporting things that they don't like for one reason or other--hell, he reports things HE doesn't like about the way the foreign policy system works and will occasionally remind audiences of that as well--but it will explain where and why morality fails to gain traction when there is a question of power, and how that limits steps that are taken, how it informs public positions taken on the world stage versus what is happening behind the scenes with actions taken, etc.

Beau's organizational and labeling system for finding topics of interest is an absolute nightmare--even worse than mine--so I'd just recommend browsing in chronological order for likely topics if you're going back through historical stuff.

They're southerners and they drawl and if you're into hyperspeed internet videos you'll have to adapt your brain to want to watch their stuff. Over time you should get used to the pacing, and I eventually found it soothing. Beau is one of those rare individuals that I could regularly expect to have insights and perspectives and thoughts that I wouldn't have had, and he could change the way I view something. There aren't that many people that I run into in life that have that ability, so this was a rare gift for me.

#not hannibal #bear answers #beau of the fifth column

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zombiecicada · 4 months ago

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=Wolfbell AU Lore and Posts Master Post=

While everything tied to the Wolfbell AU can be found under the tag ‘Kirby Wolfbell AU’ this post serves as a means to easily navigate the blog and find certain posts much more easily, as well as help newcomers get to know the au.

Note this post also includes the 2024 Kirby Oc Tournament. Characters belonging to other people will appear in this post, and everyone belongs to their respective owners.

So grab your bells and hop into the rift! Let’s dive in.

=What is the Wolfbell Au?=

The au tells the story of The Star-Crossed Hero of Dreamland, Wolfbell. Who came crashing from a rift in the sky after the residents of Dreamland received a mysterious prophecy telling them the answer to their problem lies within Wolfbell. In a universe where Kirby is seemingly nowhere to be found, this amnesiac hero without a past takes his place and is thrown into a doomed destiny to defeat Nightmare and stop Nightmare Enterprises.

The au serves as a means to indirectly tell my story, as many of the themes and some of the struggles the characters face are struggles I have faced myself or are still currently facing.

For that reason, I caution younger viewers or viewers sensitive to dark or disturbing topics to tread with caution.

=Blog events!!=

50 followers event:

Status: completed.

100 followers event:

Status: upcoming!

=Abstract Art Pieces=

Warning for eye strain!

These are some of my abstract art pieces that contain lore for the au. I typically draw one every Sunday, ore whenever I feel like it.

It’s all so incredibly loud

Random Gods

Where is your child Ryaki?

Pawns of War

Bio-Engineering

=Character bios and lore posts=

Includes various little character bios and lore that isn’t about Wolfbell the character!

=Hiraeth’s little corner of madness=

Hiraeth’s debut

How many waddle dees does it take to change a lightbulb?

Hiraeth steals Wolfbell’s asks

=Rem=

Rem’s debut:

=Zilla’s corner of gooping everyone=

Zilla’s lore

Zilla makes a friend

Zilla goops Fylass

And Whisp

Andddd Techie

=Yamilet=

Yamilet’s intro post

=World Building and Lore Posts=

Here is lore that is canon to the Wolfbell Au and its universe!

Leo species guide

Lykos

Documentation: Subject 42

Crux: The Demonbeast Sanctuary

=The Star Warriors=

The lore focused on the GSA and BSR and its members and history, including canon characters such as Sir Arthur, Sir Falspar, Sir Dragato, and Sir Nonsurat.

The main trio!

Dragato’s HCs

Falspar’s HCs

Nonsurat’s HCs

Yamikage’s HCs

Your Warpstar Is Looking Rough There Buddy

There Were Moments (Gamma/Yamikage)

What Did Sir Arthur Do?

Eating The Pieces When He’s Not Looking

Why did Yamikage Betray the GSA and What Does Dragato Think of Him?

=The 2024 Kirby Oc Tournament=

Wolfbell, the star of the show and my tourney oc for the 2024 Kirby Oc Tournament. All of Wolfbell’s asks and interactions can be found here.

All Wolfbell fan art and propaganda I see will go to the ‘Wolfbell Spotted’ tag. Be sure to tag me so I see it!

Who’s Wolfbell? Read about the Wolfbell (the character) here!

Wolfbell’s tourney bio

What is Wolfbell’s favourite food?

Wolfbell’s favourite things to do?

•Rock climbing

•Walks, climbing and having too many questions with no answers

What is Cappy Town Like?

Wolfbell’s favourite season/weather?

What does Wolfbell think of King Dedede?

Can Wolfbell climb trees?

Favourite places to visit + Wolfbowl

How did Wolfbell end up in Cappy Town?

Does Wolfbell ever meet Kirby?

Wolfbell purrs?

What happened to Fumu?

-Would Wolfbell like to help solve a bacon crisis?

=Wolfbell and Meta Knight=

Wolfbell and Meta Knight's complicated relationship.

-Stand up and fight

-He’s learnt she screams like a husky the hard way

=Some Random Wolfbell Posts=

How to draw Wolfbell!

Jellyfish have no brains

Stargazing

Mini Wolfbell power guide

Pride month with Wolfbell

This doodle means nothing at all

Lykos???

Wolfbell is so, so radioactive

Waddlebell!

Knuckle Joe July

=Meeting With Other People’s Ocs=

Wolfbell's first meetings with various other 2024 Kirby Oc Tournament ocs!

Wolfbell meets Kurabe and gets a cupcake. And a mild panic attack.

Wolfbell meets Cosmo

Wolfbell meets Mirage + teaches rock climbing

Wolfbell meets Halley (and dies just a little, but also gets adopted)

Wolfbell meets Fylass (and dies some more)

Wolfbell meets Dotty (and is bewildered wow you just popped out of the wall. But no she’s not stressed that would be silly)

Wolfbell says hello to Pip (and doesn’t die)

Wolfbell meets David (and also doesn’t die)

Wolfbell meets Dazor (oop there is the death, and it turns out there’s a rift in her head, who put that there???)

Wolfbell meets Anti (and gets a hug!!!)

Wolfbell meets Verin (and… is sleepy, apparently…)

Wolfbell meets Lady Celestine

Wolfbell meets Orion Knight

Wolfbell meets Fal

Wolfbell meets Gizmo

Wolfbell meets Fecto Flora

Wolfbell meets (has her brained fried by) Valfrey

#kirby wolfbell au #master post

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system-of-a-feather · 1 year ago

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Okay so like, we started talking to an old friend again that we haven't talked to in like over a year, almost a year and a half honestly and it naturally has me having to go through the "aight what have you missed in the Feathers Saga" and thinking about it made me go "ok its a good chance to make a list of Total Ws in life and recovery to celebrate a year and a half of progress" cause god damn theres been a lot

Lets GO. 1.5 Year "we got this bread" positivity post to just go "God DAMN we are doing GOOD" (not an exhaustive list though cause that requires me to remember and go through every event over a year and a half and I may be at functional multiplicity but my memory is still garbage)

Trauma, DID, and Recovery Achievements:

Identified and got a system consensus that our oldest sister is a piece of shit and basically our life long "handler" and HARD cut her off out of our life

Rebuilt really good relationship (neutral but pleasant to supportive and reliable) with our other direct family members who don't try to force us to interact with her

Identified that we are probably considered polyfragmented and very quickly accepted it cause quite frankly we don't really care

Got most parts to acknowledge that we aren't faking being Asian (I know but that was a long one I swear to god)

Basically entirely got over our 6 year long difficulty driving cars SO much to the point we have multiple parts ARGUING who gets to drive and actively WANTING to drive

Largely let go of a lot of the anger and hurt directed at our parents for their role in our childhood trauma

Largely helped our main CSA trauma holder basically fully go into PTSD remission to the point hes now an uber helpful tertiary host and arguably one of our most comfortable parts talking about CSA related topics

Cleared stabilization phase of recovery and achieved functional multiplicity as confirmed by our DID specialist at the time

Fused like so many parts ngl. I don't know if Riku 1.0 and XIV 1.0 fused with their respective parts to be Riku 2.0 and XIV 2.0 around then cause it was about the time we stopped talking but there was that, the whole Data subsystem and shit, integrating Chunn into the system and helping him renavigate that crap, Lin fusing with an inner world part and shit - lots of that XD

Became a (Zen-leaning) Buddhist which plays a decent role in how we approach our mental health and cultural identity

Finally went from "undiagnosable autistic" to "Yeah you are autistic" because functional multiplicity enabled a more clear diagnosis

LOTS of gender dysphoria shit and gender shit that is too much work to break into main bullet points

Gained massive insight into how we intend to approach our reclaiming of sexuality

Learned to literally meditate and just enjoy existing

Realized we reaaaaaalllllly have a low threshold for dealing with people who we don't actively and strongly enjoy being around

Career and Direction Wise:

Graduated our undergrad - woot woot

Got a job supporting special ed - enjoyed it made good connections but also noted that god no dealing with people so much is not our cup of tea

Got a BETTER job at a reputable university to support research on aging memory with mice that has really good benefits - really like this job but also its not our cup of tea because we don't really enjoy the monotony

Came to the decision that research wise we really would rather deal with people on the "less" than the "more" end, scratching off a lot of human-focused research interests at least for the time being and greatly narrowing our previously wide scope down to the more animal heavy side

Sitting on old topics we researched and found interest in, realized the one thing our brain kept going back to was metrics of studying animal mental states and that we really probably would enjoy that as a nice balance between our interest and what we have the personal ability to engage in sustainably

Decided we are in fact going back to our PhD now that we have decided that 1) working life as a gear in a machine is cool and relaxing and shit, but it lowkey makes us depressed with how stagnant it is and we need more going on in our work life to keep us happy so "ok we tried that, we don't like it, back to the plan" 2) we have a pretty good idea of what we want to study at least for the beginning of a PhD career that could go in different directions organically

Scheduling currently a Zoom meeting with a professor we are interested in to informally discuss graduate studies

Independence, Hobbies and Other Shit:

We live on our own, sustain our life on our own and live with our fiance who - despite being currently unable to work due to disabilities - we are able to support and sustain (also bless zen Buddhism making it easy to be happy and enjoy life on a lower income)

Made some really nice mutuals - you know who you are - yall are good company love yall

Between the parts that are co-hosting, we have so many hobbies and interests its ridiculous; but we added electric guitar, ukelele, and recently a drum pad to our musical repertoire; gardening and plant care (which we suck at which is fine) added to the hobby

Became painful morning people as a result to our job and kinda realized we prefer it sorry for being that guy

Lost the ability to do the peacock call due to T dropping our voice range like a BITCH but in returned gained Raven calls and duck / goose noises

Also learned to do finch calls

Rescued two lovebirds when we moved to an apartment with our fiance - they are lesbians and very confused about it

Adopted a cat my fiance's mom was fostering from a kitten cause shes a shoulder cat (bird) and also now because of XIV she is also a dog who plays fetch and loves belly rubs (she also has extra toes)

Consistently continued doing art, developing the story world, encouraging my writing partner to get into art, aggressively shaking all my friends to art with me

Got Lin to be obsessed with art with me as well

Kept up a 230 day duolingo streak juggling like 6 or 7 different languages (the last like 120~ days or so have been a lot more 'just keeping it up' and me just doing one lesson of Japanese a day since its the one I know the best but it HAS been kept up)

Transitioning:

Started T and stayed taking T

Got a hysterectomy GOOD BYE PCOS

Am charted for seeing a surgeon to discuss bottom surgery this month

Am charted for seeing consult for top surgery at Some Point when the insurance stuff goes through

Have long since forgone our Dead Name in almost every area and got comfortable with our Chosen Name

Considering participating in Transmasculine No Shave November out of Transpride

#alter: riku #recovery #healing #progress #recovery progress #system update #transitioning #ptsd #c-ptsd

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nonaddiction · 19 days ago

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the death scene + how it looks in my head.

tw for death, drug abuse, overdose, exploitation. if you're here then you probably already know this, but i'd just like to remind you in case.

we're treading very carefully here because i know this is a topic that is deeply sensitive and relevant to me and many others that i am close to. the nature of this scene is troubling and traumatic; it's hard not to toe the line of exploitative and gratuitous, but i will make efforts to avoid that the best i can. at the same time, i think we are all owed a realistic portrayal of the subject matter because it should be acknowledged as horrific and not reduced to something more palatable.

this is only essential to the "canon" and is probably flexible to a lesser degree in the rp setting, but will always remain similar at its core, if not execution. but anyways. mostly just want to write this all down for myself, but i also like providing a visual reference for others. tone is very important to me with all writing and i think references can help project that specific tone better.

noah ripley dies on the night of december 28, 2003 in a downtown los angeles hotel room, but his body is not discovered until the next morning by cleaning staff. the room was not under his name, but belonged to an acquaintance of an acquaintance. he entered the room that evening after running into a group of friends (this word used very lightly because we know that noah doesn't really have any friends) and consumed heavy amounts of opioids, stimulants, and alcohol.

later in the night, noah began convulsing. his companions - some too intoxicated to recognize the situation - fled the room in a panic, leaving him alone in the room.

i'm going to get sidetracked for a second and talk about two movies that are very significant to me.

when i was in high school, i watched m.ysterious skin, which i won't describe in detail but became formative for how i view story, character perspective, and visual media. the final shot of the film focuses on the two lead characters as they process their grief. the room they're in is pitch black around them. it hovers over a wide shot of the subjects, slowly begins to pan out farther and farther, until the screen goes black.

this shot has stayed with me since i first watched it. ngl it's embedded in my head in a way that makes me feel insane, like it fucking haunts me. it was a movie i needed to watch to understand something important at the time and will always be highly regarded in my opinion, but i can also never watch it ever again. hope this helps.

in more recent years, i watched all of us st.rangers, which is film that focuses on similar themes of grief, identity, trauma, and loss of childhood. it also ends with a very similar shot (and i would also say a similar emotion) to the one in m.ysterious skin. pitch black screen, focused on its subjects, slowly panning out. i don't know if i was an intentional homage during production, but feels like a fitting one when comparing the themes.

this made me much less normal when i saw it just because i have this image embedded so deeply into the surface of my brain. anyways

the death scene, which i really hate, but have a clear image of in my head. i always imagine it as something similar. it's a medium shot of noah overhead as he convulses (i have the bridge of l.ykke li's carousel in my head as this plays out but i'll get to that later) and it pulls out slowly. wider and wider shots (we go into the song's outro) and eventually the frame is only black, enveloping the whole scene. credits rolls as i process it.

the song choice: i'm actually reluctant to say whether or not this would be a realistic choice for the scene because we kind of always wanted to use music that was period accurate (pre 2003) but this is the song that i hear when i imagine it currently so. i may come up with a period accurate alternative at some point, but not right now.

carousel's lyrics feel a bit reminiscent of the story. the repetitive cycle that noah lives through, chasing a feeling, instinct towards harm and the addiction to it. not just the addiction to substances, but to the temporary relief - both emotional and physical - and the constant search for it.

i think there are a lot of reasons noah dies in this story and i don't like the thought of it occurring simply to move plot forward or to bait an emotional response. he dies because he's stuck in a cycle that too many people around him enable - people who were responsible for him when he was young and were meant to teach him better - and his inability to cope with the loss of childhood. he doesn't know how to grow up. he dies because a lot of people with the same emotions as him do too. there's so many versions of that same story. and while maybe there is a lesson to be learned from it, i don't think that's necessarily the point. i think the point is that it did happen, it will happen over and over again, in both noah's world and our own. and we won't learn from it.

#posts.#analysis.#headcanons.#idk i wrote this all out and then realized that i maybe got too personal or too real at the end. which was not the intention #actually did cry while writing this. probably bad for me but also one of those things i need to talk about so it won't eat me

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theotheradversary · 9 months ago

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7. Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon¹, and the dragon¹ and his angels² fought back.

8. But he was not strong enough, and they² lost their place in heaven.

9. The great dragon¹ was hurled down³ — that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan¹, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him³.

— Revelation 12:7–10 (NIV)

¹Samael<Lucy's angel name>, Lucifer, The Morningstar etc. funnily enough i wasn't aware that He is the Twin of Michael.

² pretty much what we already knew. More angels were "cast down"³ than just Lucifer. Just remember like him, the other cast down angels have self assigned names to show they are independent from the control of god, gone from the light. On a random tangent, i cannot remember what Asmodeus's father's name is (child of angel and man). I do love the name. Maybe it was Azazel? That tickles that memory a bit.

Anyways....

They're not one of the Lamb as they were created to be. Remember, they are this god's first children, designed to only obey and follow that bastards orders like blind, unquestioning servants. Which is pretty much a big part of Samael evolution into the "now", Lucifer's identity.

The Bible often refers to Samael/Lucifer as a dragon or serpent. I wish they kept the ancient bit as to make a point of Lucy being an eternal, always has and always will exist Adversary of that bastard.

Yeah..... Even if Deities or their servants are created later in "eternal time"(sorry, that's the best way i can describe it), they will always have always been and will always be. It's a thing throughout all religions that mention eternal beings. But anyways, forget that and angel names stuff for the time being. That can be a fun topic of its own. Also it's hard.... Lineages and such get involved. As you can imagine, it gets pretty messy.

³ Cast down. Onto The Earth. From there they influenced early humanity before being forced into what we know as Hell. My memory fails me as to why and how they were forced "below" The Earth, but I'll find out as i read more... Probably found in more detail and more entertaining in more of the older Bibles, deuterocanonical stuff and other "inspired" writings.

Oh well. We can learn that together! Or you can tell me and I'll post about it, then find ways to expand and reference beyond the prompt.... Though I'll do references next time. I just went off memory for most of this bar the passage from Revelation. Which i should have done here, with this post.

But it's a bit of a quick "damnit, it's irritating me! Wiki will know that bit!"... Followed by "damnit" as my brain went "ooooo previously known knowledge turn on now!".

---

.... Right. Back to me just blogging about my poor judgement.

Honestly i regretted that i focused so much on Solomon's writs and his letters to his sons. I should have been doing the obvious. Current and old Bibles. That's where the good shit is. Then we can focus on where earthly connections lies in the stuff that have been created (or divinely inspired) like Solomon's writings and everything that influenced/created it.

yeah. I said created. It's currently only an entertained thought that it was his original work.... Or King Solomon had anything to do with it. But, still. The "Keys" transcripts has interesting details and it's fairly easy to find links to older works, holy works and Devil worship stuff. Just gotta find it on the net. Which is a PITA. There's sooo many red herrings. But I'll sort through it and make sure what i find are well referenced and confirmed to be of a certain age or written by a scholar/prominent figure (or they're Canonical/Deuterocanonical).

But yeah... my idea of revisiting the writs of Solomon by the researchers in the Library of London etc, is a moot point. Much more interesting more intact/complete books, tomes and grimoires that would have influenced these sets of fabricated (or not) works. This opens me up to so much amazing bits of work, paintings, instructions and such. So. Sorry. I'm an idiot.

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I hope you've enjoyed this post. Again, I'd love some comments. But they're hard for me to find i guess.

Yay, poor obscure me. I think I'll have to tighten my tags as well. But I'll still annoy Ghost The Band fans. Because i find it hilarious.

#demonology #beezelbub #war on heaven #forgive me friends. for i got lost.#the morningstar #Satan #Samael #lucifer #lucy #revelation #deuterocanonical #Asmodeus #Azazel #nephilim #djinn #annoying the ghost fans again #the band ghost #ghost

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castlebyersafterdark · 2 months ago

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when are you gonna post your big write up on the gnc topic? not rushing you! just wondering if you still are or if you decided to ditch it. I'm really eager to read whenever it gets posted

Haha I don't know if I would call it my big write up, I don't want to seem like I'm some guru professor on the topic - I'm not! Still learning. I don't want to say the wrong thing? Because its a topic that I've taken an interest in and a character trait I really found I've enjoyed for Will, and many anons have sent me insightful things - but I'm setting it aside until I have more mental space to do it as chill and thoughtfully as possible since I don't consider myself a resource for the topic and don't want me making these long, dramatic posts about it to look like I'm trying to be an authority figure on the topic? Coming at it as fan analysis of a fictional character, rather than real world insights if that makes sense? It's on the plate. I do promise I'll post something eventually. I know it's just a fan blog I have here and personally I'm not under any deadlines or obligations, but I feel bad if I promise something and don't follow through (which is also why I've said most of my other fic ideas I've shared will EVENTUALLY post but I can't promise anything substantial with the Boarding School AU even though I adore it. Don't want any hopes up in case I can't deliver on the idea).

I've also had a hard time focusing on any one thing when I go online lately, full disclosure there. I'm still bopping around but between really getting into writing fic and answering all the wonderful asks people send, I keep jumping back and forth and drafting more asks than posting. Since my brain is leaning heavy into trying to write fic when I use the free time I dedicate to fandom stuff. Which is I think needed! I want to post more stories! I find thats my favorite part of fandom now is presenting a polished fic. So, keep sending stuff but if it's an ask that isn't something I can answer off the cuff when I'm slacking at work during the week 🤭 I'm probably giving it a longer answer or drabble in the further future. Thanks all for sticking around, love yall ❤️

#Asks #😘

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scaredgirlsilly · 1 year ago

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Homestuck character who doesn't get enough love?

i have been stalking this ask, formulating my plan of attack, jumping from branch to branch of the canopy of trees, waiting for the perfect moment.

and that moment has finally come

spoilers for homestuck (merp. if you read this ill explode you with my mind im sorry im doing this but it has spoilers for all of homestuck so you arent allowed to read this JDKSKFJSH)

my answer is jade. am i biased?? absolutely!! but thats A Whole Thing so im gonna give some runner ups first before i get into all that

jake prob like idk whenever i see him in stuff its always either with dirk (and usually focuses on dirk kr their relationship) or its a family photo of john, jade, jane, and jake. but like. idk i dont think many people *get* what hes about (me included) but hes a great character and literally soooo aro coded its not even funny. i really should rotate jake in my brain more hes a very cool character

jane too theres some love for jane but i think the epilogues kinda fucked her

the dancestors too, but idk im not a huge dancestor fan cause they are all kinda assholes and the scene with cronus and mituna just makes my skin crawl

but ok BACK TO JADE

i think there are different aspects (most of them probably unrelated to what you untended for the question) that she doesnt get enough love, but lets start with what you were probably talking about, which is

how jade is treated by the fans

i think jade gets a fair amount of fan love. i mean just look at her!! who couldnt love her?? my main problem comes from how she compares to dave, specifically the fact that fans seem to apply an absolutely monstrous depth to daves character that isnt necessarily there in homestuck (like specificallyin regards to angst readings of his character. this is about fanfiction i should say that this is just my grievances when it comes to finding good jade fics). THATS NOT A BAD THING!! i fuckin love it actually and im not raggin on dave with this. its just that i think jade could do that as good if not better!! her life is fuckin dogshit if you treat it seriously, much like people do with daves life, and considering the fact that nearly every single fuckin dave fic i read touches on that topic, it sucks that jade fics like that are so hard to come by. she also doesnt have as many like prominent ships. theres some obv ones, like davepetasprite, or dave/karkat in a throuple (we will fucking get to that later), but yk some of the other characters even uf they dont have canon relationships, they have like. obvious ones yk. like john/vriska or john/terezi or june/rose or john/dave (fuckin j egbert gettin around kfhskshdh) or like jake/dirk or roxy/callie yk ships like those. whether you agree with em is one thing but they are obvious yk you dont gotta do alot of convincing to see them at least try it out.

but with jade, it feels like you gotta stretch it a little to get her with anyone. jade/rose is great (especially jade/rose/kanaya) but. i mean jade and rose barely talk in homestuck proper (we will GET TO IT) so its kinda a hard sell. and does jade like interact with any of the trolls alot?? like idk its been a while but im p sure most of her interactions with the trolls were negative. so that just leaves jade/davepeta which is a pretty good ship i will say, and of course, jade/dave ( + karkat sometimes) and it kinda sucks. like one of my fav ships, jade/vriska, literally started out as a joke!! but it grew on me when i started thinking out it, but it is already such a stretch that theres no fuckin way most people will see what i see (thats a whole seperate rant jdhsjdjsj this is already long enough and we have 3 other parts to get to)

SPEAKING OF THE OTHER PARTS!!

next part, prob the easiest,

jades treatment in the epilogues

do i even need to say anything??

this post is long enough ill try to speed through the other sections

NEXT PART!!

how she is treated in homestuck proper in the text (what literally happens to her)

literally lonliest girl alive has one day with her friends (that day is filled with horrible shit and thats the understatement of the century) before getting on a ship for 3 years, and like a week in having her brother and other friend die. she then lives in this ship in the middle of space, no contact to any of her other friends, no update on whats actually going on, just the company of the consorts and nanna sprite. she finally gets to the new session, meets god tier calliope who explains that that was all supposed to happen and john actually fixed everything, and also space players are just lonely thats just apart of the aspect :/

she then gets put to sleep so the condesce doesnt control her, where she misses all of the socialization that the other people have on the platform before the final fight.

she then has a convo with davepeta while she is dreaming where davepeta says "actually in the other timeline we dated and that stuff still happened to you cause of this thing called an Ultimate Self, a thing thats totally real and not at all bullshit. anyways bye!! *muah*"

she wakes up, chases a few god dogs around, gets puched in the face, and the end happily ever after!!!!!!!!

now obv this was an extremely bitter retelling and i actually cant seperate the 2 sections so this is also...

how jade is treated in homestuck proper, by andrew hussie

now. jade got ROYALLY fucked over. she started out as a mysterious figure that knows more than anyone, but extremely quickly she goes to the person who knows the least out of literally anyone. she barely talks to rose, seemingly one of her 4 childhood friends, throughout the whole comic (jade and rose say about 2700 words to each other over 5 conversations, one of them being a repeat from the others perspective. their longest convo is 571 words. for reference, this convo between dave karkat and john has 2100 words. almost 1500 words more than their longest convo and almost as much words as rose and jades entire convo history. heres a link to da sourse i used cause no way im counting that shit jdjsgsjshs tho they are doing it cause they dont like jade/rose or sumn?? idk i dont fucking care about that. anyways side tangent over!!)

SHE DOESNT EVEN WNTER THE GAME TILL ACT 5 ACT 2!!!!!!!! AFTER WE SEE THE ENTIRE TROLL SESSION!!!!!!!!

then, during the session idk shes cool i dont remember it much cause the beta kids session is a surprisingly short part of the comic jdkshdjshs but she has some cool moments and i love her ^u^

then the yellow yard. god. just fucking left there alone. why?? the entire point of johnfix is that the session could be changed for the better without worry of a doomed timeline. couldnt have even made john give her a heads up as to why her john and davesprite just fucking die randomly?? (before you say that john couldnt have cause he didnt know, motherfucker andrew hussie knew!!!!!!!! he could have just made some fuckin reason for john to know its not that hard)

then during the session she just gets ranted to about how actually its all apart of the plan and this was supposed to be this way and she just goes ":P okie dokie" and moves on like that wouldnt FUCKING KILL HER THAT SHE HAD TO BE ROYALLY FUCKED OVER FOR EVERYTHING TO GO RIGHT.

now obv theres an explanation why her role in the final fight is so passive. shes too op. she combined with bec and is a space player (and is shown using those powers to do some pretty bad ass stuff jfjsgsjdhd). thats fair i guess. im just salty that the way to solve that was to literally put her to sleep for most of it, then go fly around with some dogs and get punched in the face.

now. the rant is kinda over. jade i think is the most slept on character, but specifically she is slept on by one person. andrew hussie. i think that andrew hussie did not explore jades character like he did with other characters. i do not know why. im going to try to not act like i know why he did it (god its so hard HDKSKDHAGDJ). this rsnt is pure salt, pure fuckin cope, i am aware. this is not meant to be objective i just really like and relate to jade and wish she got more love in the work itself. but instead, i must dine on the scraps she gets on fuckin ao3 (did you know there are almost as many davekat fics as there are fics where jade is in it at all?? and thats not even including the fact that alot of the jade fics, shes not the main person. im not mad 🙃🙃)

anyways uhhhh sorry this probably wasnt what you were expecting 😭😭😭😭 i just have alot of incoherent thoughts when it comes to jade and homestuck in general. so uhhhh. THANKS FOR THE ASK!!!!!!!!

#sorry it took so long literally this ask has been in my brain rollin around picking up dust like a katamari ball #but i knew i was gonna get to it eventually!!!!!!!!#it was just whenever i had the energy to write. *this* JDKSLDHAFJDKSKF #anyways thanks 😁😁

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