#and its not like i dont enjoy the action of interacting with some people i really likw

[ghostlyerlkonig]

On the topic of "media cannot love you" I wonder if this is why there has been, especially in the last 4 years, a rise in begging the people in the media to talk specifically to you and affirm you, the enjoyer of the media, for it to feel good.

[tiredmamaissy]

Ralak te Sepwan ieyk’itan: Chapter Four

An Illustrated Collaboration with @zestys-stuff

Masterlist ; Rut/Heat/Knotting Info

🔞 minors, do not interact 🔞

Hyperlinks are attached to specific paragraphs that when clicked on will lead you to its illustration by Ralak's creator @zestys-stuff.

Characters: Metkayina!Ralak (24) x Sully!Omaticaya!Reader (19)

Warnings: nsfw, smut, fluff, angst, profanity, age gap, sexual tension, size difference/kink, praise kink, fingering, alcohol consumption/drunk character, mating, oral sex (both receiving), p in v, virginity loss, blood, marking/biting, let me know if i forgot anything?

Word Count: 15k (i think, i dont even know at this point)

Requested: Yes || No

Author’s Note: Guys, I'm so sorry this one took so long. I hope it's worth the wait. I tried to proofread this but the app keeps crashing and I lost my progress thrice. So forgive me for any typos and errors. I'll probably go through it with fresh eyes tomorrow and fix them. Enjoy 🤍🤍

Synopsis: Your family seeks uturu with the Metkayina in the village of Awa’atlu. You have a difficult time adjusting, and are assigned your own special teacher, Ralak.

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“Not today, tahni. I must get you back, now.”

----

You protest, not wanting to go back to the prison with your less-than-understanding father and his two soldiers keeping an eye on your every move. You try to convince Ralak to have a conversation with your father, but he insists that won’t do anything. Jake is a man of action, and he would need to prove himself to Toruk Makto – prove that he is worthy of mating with his daughter.

To do things ‘the right way’.

All it took for you to behave was him grabbing your hand, pressing it against his warm, half-hard cock while he looks you dead in the eye.

“Tame Tsurak. And this is yours to do whatever you please with.”

“Oh?” Your lips pucker as you husk the word, brow raising in astonishment.

Of course, Ralak would turn this into a lesson of some sort, saying something along the lines of you being a fast learner and would only need a day to learn. It was laughable really – him saying that you need a week to learn the sign language of his people but less than a day to tame a skimwing.

He clicks for his swimwing, watching as it glides quickly through the water towards him. He takes a few steps back, making space for the large creature to come to a standstill. Ralak approaches it cautiously and respectfully, hand reaching behind him to grip and stroke the length of his kuru.

You’re only now just getting a good look at his kuru, it’s much longer than yours given the stature of this man. His tendrils are a deep pink, very composed and calm, much like Ralak himself. They dance slowly, sporadic movements gaining direction once they sense the kuru of the Tsurak in proximity.

“Bond carefully. Tsurak are not like ilu.” Ralak says, pupils constricting momentarily as the tendrils slowly entwine with one another, making tsaheylu with the scaley, large beast. It shivers vigorously as their breaths synchronize, two beasts becoming one. Ralak takes a sharp breath before swinging his leg over the creature, settling himself graciously on its back. “They deem if the rider is worthy.”

“Oh. I see...” You nod slowly, nerves fraying from the thought of not being worthy enough to tame one.

Ralak motions you to mount the Tsruak, patting it’s back behind him. “Come.” He holds your hand, helping you on before wrapping your arms around his waist. “Hold tight.”

With that, you’re off. The beast glides easily, and slowly through the water, never going underneath. Ralak spends the ride teaching you about the techniques to apply when bonding, mounting, and riding a skimwing. Even how to hold the harness properly, so you’re not pulled off by a water drag.

“Most important. When you dive back in, maintain a good position.” He rambles, demonstrating the diving movement with his hand, fingers pointing downwards.

You listen, but you’re focus is primarily on the way his waist feels in your arms. You savour the sensation, feelings of self-doubt making you think that this may be the last time you’ll touch Ralak in this way. You rest your face into the dip of his back, ear pressed into his skin as you listen to the thump of his heart.

The words echo in your head. “...to do whatever you please with.”

You could do this. You can do this. You’ll do it for him. For your mate.

Ralak slows to a halt a far distance away from your family marui pod, exchanging glares with your two older brothers. Though they were younger than Ralak, he still treats them as equals, respectfully signing ‘I see you’ to them both. Reluctantly, they return the gesture, maintaining their downward glare to the giant. Neteyam stands tall, chest puffed out to appear bigger, whilst Lo’ak’s arms are crossed over his chest, shifting his bodyweight from one leg to the other.

You scoff. Two idiots doing their idiot thing.

“We will meet again, my love.” You whisper, planting a kiss on his back before dismounting the creature to swim around to the mangrove roots.

“My tanhi.” He hums lowly, watching you swim away and climb up the root to the backside of the marui pod. He turns around, diving under the water to leave before your father’s arrival. Your brothers help you up, pushing you inside the pod by a hand on your back.

“You smell even worse.” Neteyam makes the snarky remark whilst grimacing, turning his head away from you.

“Yeah. He’s not joking, sis.” Lo’ak adds with a chuckle, leaning in to get a better whiff. He pulls back dramatically, letting out a loud ‘whoof’ as he turns his head away too.

“Ha-Ha.” You say, imitating the sound of a laugh. “Thanks guys.” You mutter sarcastically, although you really did owe them.

The sound of your father flipping back the flap of the marui averts your attention to the door. All three of you stand in formation, acknowledging the former marine’s presence. He walks past you, lips pursing into a thin line once your scent wafts past him.

“Jeez, y/n. Ya need to take a bath or something. Preferably before tomorrow ‘cause that’s when training with Tsireya starts.” He shifts his glare to his sons, patting them both on the back as he praises them for doing a good job watching you. Another scoff bubbles up your throat, prompting you to roll your eyes and find refuge behind your privacy curtain.

----

Swish. The sound of your privacy curtain being yanked aside, allowing slivers of the first rays of sunlight to shine against your cheek.

“Get up, kid. Time for your lesson with Tsireya.” Jake’s voice beats against your eardrums.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Never have you had a lesson this early. Nor have you had someone wake you up for one. And how many times did you have to speak to your father about privacy? That’s why you sat down for a week straight making these curtains. And by the way everyone keeps yanking and tugging at it, you’ll have to make another sooner than planned. You lift your head groggily, rubbing your right eye with the ball of your palm. Groans of irritation rumble up your throat as you roll over onto your side to ignore your father.

“Hey. Don’t make me come over there.” He jesters, hoping to lighten the mood.

It only makes things worse. How could he joke after locking you away and having his two watchdogs guard over you? He’s taking away the one good thing for you in this wet-land and thinks a joke will make things better?

“Leave. I’ll come out soon.” You mumble into your pillow.

Jakes brows lower in defiance for a moment, and relax when he realises that you’re just hurting. Regardless, this is what he thinks is best for you. You were still his ‘babygirl’. He takes a few steps back before turning around to walk out of the marui. Once you hear his footsteps die out, you rise from your cot and get ready for the day.

----

“Wow, y/n. You have improved so much since I last taught you!” Tsireya exclaims, surprised by your skilful movements.

“Yeah. Ralak was a good teacher.” You smile, tugging the fishnet towards you. Your lips flatten into a line when you realise how that sounds. “Not saying that you weren’t or anything.” You add quickly, staring wide eyed at Tsireya.

“It is okay.” She giggles, two dainty fingers covering her lips.

“Yeah. There’s just something about him. He’s… different.” You smile once more, slowly wrapping the fishnet around on itself, “A good different!”

“I know Ralak, y/n. He is... like a brother to me. Although we don’t talk very much...” Tsireya says, swimming towards the spears on the shore. “I am surprised you two got along for this long.”

Your brows twitch. Brother? What did she mean by that? What does she think even happened?

“I’m going to mate with him.” You blurt out, earning an astonished expression from Tsireya. “When I pass my iknimaya, of course.” You say, knowing that’s not what she’s concerned about.

“You two got along that well?” She questions, reaching for the spears.

“You could say that we confessed to each other in the heat of the moment” You mumble as you work your way to sit on the shore.

“So, why am I teaching you?” Her movements come to halt, inquisitive gaze flicking down at you.

“Dad found out. He is forbidding me from seeing him because I haven’t passed my iknimaya yet.” You twirl a strand of wet loose hair around your pointer finger, “He didn’t even care to ask about the situation. Or if I even need lessons anymore.” You shake your head, watching the hair unravel from your finger.

“I see. I think you two would be good for each other.” She shrugs, staring at the spears for a moment before throwing them back into the sand. She looks at you and smiles, “Has he taught you about our dances?”

Gaze snapping up to hers, a smile stretches your lips as your brows raise in fascination. “Dances?”

Tsireya offers her hand, and you take it, letting her help you up. “Mhm. Our way of dancing. It is very... sensual. It is said that eywa speaks through the soundwaves of the music.” She walks you over to a clearing near the shore.  

Apparently, the musical instruments are sacred, some parts of it harvested from the spirit tree.  And when they are played, the way of Eywa can be felt by those that listen, expressed in bodily movement – dancing. It’s movements manifest erotically, acting as a mating ritual.

It draws in the fated or desired mates of those that partake in the ritual, driving them to find one another and dance together.

“Teach me.”

----

The days go by slowly as Tsireya shows you the sinuous movements of the Metkayina. She explains that it is much like the way of water, gliding and flowing freely with the music. One must allow the music to flow through the body in waves, to slip into a trance like state for your body to sway with the rhythm.

It takes you about a week to learn all the movements. It posed to be an even more difficult task without the music, and just Tsireya’s humming. Of course, this music is only only played on the night of an iknimaya celebration.

Tomorrow is your iknimaya, and Tsireya decides it’s best to run through a few pointers on taming a tsurak. Taming one is not something you practice doing, not like an ilu. You attempt it, and if denied, it is because you have much more to learn. You may try again after further training.

“Your grip is the most important thing. Once it loosens, it is ove –”

“Girls.” The olo’eyktan’s voice booms above you, averting your attention to the three casted shadows on the shore. Your eyes trail up the silhouettes to see Tonowari, your father, and... Ralak. Your heartbeat quickens, body heating up from sensing its desired mate in proximity. You try to play it off, looking down at your knees buried in the sand.

“Father.” Tsireya shuffles to her feet, signing ‘I see you’ to the three men, acknowledging their presence.

You follow slowly after her, eyes now locked onto your feet. “I see you.” You gesture, finally lifting your gaze up to the three men.

Ralak’s brows twitch as his cold eyes trail up your body, doing their best mask his excitement from seeing you. You look beautiful – dressed in clothing native to his people, pearls embellishing your top and a string of shells sewn to the band of your tewng [loincloth]. Braided hair with bright red flowers twisted into it, his chest tightens from seeing you like this.

This is the first time you’ve seen him in a week. He looks... dishevelled. Nothing like he usually looks. Hollow eyes, body enveloped with bruises and scabbed over wounds, you can sense the fracture in his spirit. He looks so, so worn. A heated wrath simmers your blood, making you red in the face.

What have they done to you, my love? You ask him through concerned eyes, breaking your stare to seethe at Tonowari.

Jake could see the upset on your face, lips pursing into a thin line as he squints his eyes, telling you to drop the attitude. But you were vexed with him too. Did he really think you’d be an obedient little soldier? You scoff at the thought, rolling your eyes to land them back onto Ralak, who is also giving you a look.

Now that’s different.

All it takes is a quick raise of his brows and a slight shake of his head to quell your attitude. You huff a small sigh of defeat and drop your irate stare to your feet once more, holding your tongue. You wanted nothing more than to lash out at Tonowari, despite him being the olo’eytan. But you understand that this would only make matters worse.

Jake witnesses this, feeling a little embarrassed about your blatant disregard for his order and not Ralak’s. But he can’t ignore the smidge of respect he’s feeling towards him right now. To be able to handle your rebellious attitude with a simple shake of his head is impressive.

“Iknimaya is tomorrow.” Tonowari speaks, eyes drifting towards the discarded spears.

He’s clearly speaking to you, but you’re too caught up in your own head to even hear him.

“Yes, father. I am confident that she is ready.” Tsireya answers quickly, using her tail to nudge the back of your leg.

“Yes – yes sir. Your daughter taught me well.” You say a little too composed, avoiding eye contact all together.

“Good. We will be on our way then.” Tonowari nods, turning his heel to leave.

Jake follows behind him, throwing one last glare in your direction, whilst Ralak lingers for a second or two. He does one last scan of your body, before locking eyes with you. A soft smile pulls at his lips as he slowly retreats.  

It’s like all the negativity bubbling in your being washes away in an instant, leaving you standing there with a dumb smile on your face. He spins around, walking nonchalantly behind the two olo’eyktans, arms tucked behind his back.

“Did he just – smile?” Tsireya asks, a little dumbfounded.

“Mhm.” You hum, smile only growing wider.

----

That night you walked home beaming, smile plastered on your face with your ears flickering wildly. It had been so long since you’d last seen him that it was so uplifting to see that sweet, sweet smile again. You haven’t felt this happy since Jake separated you two, and honestly you couldn’t bring yourself to go home and see him.

Despite your strict curfew, you find yourself alone sitting in the wet sand, watching the sun set, bright hues of red and orange lighting up the sky. You bring your knees to your chest and rest your cheek between them, thinking about tomorrow.

What if I can’t do it? You sigh, feelings of self-doubt crashing in like the waves at your feet.

“Y/n.” Jake’s voice booms behind you.

Of-fucking-course you’re going to come find me.

“What?” You mumble into your knees.

Jake’s purses his lips before letting out a small sigh, shoulders relaxing as he seats himself beside you. “Feelin’ ready for tomorrow? Not nervous, are ya?”

“Ha. Yeah. I had the best teacher in Awa’atlu.”

“Babygirl.” His voice softens as he tries to look you directly in the face. The fact that it’s been over a week, and you’re still upset tells him that he’s really hurt you.

“Not your baby anymore.” You mutter under your breath, turning your head to look the other way.

“Yes, you are... ‘nd you always will be. Even when you have your own.” He speaks gently, resting his hand on your upper back.  

You shrug him off, causing his hand to retreat entirely. He reflects for a moment, on how his actions have made you feel. Has he been too harsh on you? Was the ‘tough love’ act too much? The rift that’s he’s driven between the two of you is just too thick and he must remedy it.

“Look. I’m – I’m just tryna look out for you.”

“Excuse me?” You lift your head up and look at him with an expression of disbelief. "Look out for me? Or coddle me? Cut the shit, dad. I know you’re trying to keep me from him.”

"Language!" Jake hisses, “And I am looking out for you, whether you wanna believe it or not.”

“So what? How far are you gonna go to keep me from him? Gonna make us move again? Fresh start, somewhere else?”

Jakes voice is low now, a dangerous growl as he grows frustrated with your venomous words. “Everything I do is to protect you kids. Your safety is everything to me, y/n. I just want what’s best for you.”

"Ralak is what is best for me. He's good to me. Patient with me." You croak, lump forming in your throat. "And - I love him, dad."

Jake quickly stands, letting out a scoff. "No. You don't. You barely know the guy!”

"I do. I know him more than anybody. He's a gentleman–”

“Y/n” He starts, “We’ve only been here for a few months. He’s your teacher. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Why are you settling for the first one you meet?”

“Dad, just – stop! He’s a good person. And when I tame tsurak tomorrow... I will choose him.” Your voice fades away as you utter the last four words, heated tears rolling down your cheeks.

“Yeah. If you tame it. I didn’t even tame it myself the first try. You really think you can?” Jake spits, growing frustrated with your defiant attitude.

Ouch. You didn’t even have the words to respond to that. Your own father taking a jab at your competency, knowing it’s one of your biggest insecurities. And to instil is own personal doubt into you is on another level of petty.

And just like that, the rift grows wider.

Your bottom lip quivers, revealing the small dimples in your chin. You stare up at him glossy eyed, tears welling up so much you could almost see the way it makes your eyes glisten. His gaze softens, as if he were just hit square in the jaw with words he just uttered to you.

“Y/n, I’m s –”

You shake your head in disbelief, brows gathering so tightly it hurt. You walk past him, shoving him with your shoulder as you make your way towards your marui. You can hear him calling after you, hollering whatever things first popped up in his head that could possibly make it right.

“Babygirl, please! You know I didn’t mean it like that. Just try to see where I’m coming from!”

But you ignore him and keep it going. Slumping into your bed, you lay your head on your pillow and close your swollen, wet eyes in hopes to get some rest for your big day tomorrow. The day that would change it all.

The day of your iknimaya.

----

It wasn’t only your iknimaya today.

Much like when you tamed your ikran, you stand in a line of other younger na’vi, who have been waiting patiently for their chance to prove themselves. Eager and excited to earn their place in the clan and mate with another.

They all speak amongst themselves, whispering harshly and huddling together to hear one another. They’re discussing pointers, reviewing techniques, and sharing tips they’ve learned from the more experienced warriors. It’s a bit annoying, in all honestly. They all seemed to have a completely different motive from you. An intrinsic one.

Whereas your motivation is standing in waist deep in the water, effortlessly holding the thrashing, winged beast in place. His hands grip the harness tightly, whilst Tonowari and another warrior secures the mid and hind section of the skimwing.

You watch as the other young na’vi attempt to tame the tsurak before you. Some pass, some fail, tsurak swimming with such force that it leaves the rider disoriented. Some even begged for another chance, while others accepted their defeat with a tail between their legs.  

It makes you nervous. And the more you stand and stare at the thick skinned creature, the more is registers how big it actually is. It’s enormous – the length of six na’vi. Yet Ralak holds it down firmly, arms growing veiny from the sheer grip he has on it. It writhes beneath him, prompting him to restrain the beast even further.

You’d never seen Ralak ‘in action’ before. To you, he’s this big, soft giant, patiently tolerating your less than composed attitude. A man with simple goals, and simple desires. Not this strong, war machine he has been turned into. But you can’t ignore how seeing him like this makes you feel.

A strong and competent man.

But the more the creature thrashes around in his grip, the more your shot nerves fray. Just as you feel the nerves creep their way up into your chest, tightening it with no mercy, Ralak locks eyes with you. A stoic expression, with eyes that said so much. Ocean blue eyes, telling you ‘I’m right here. You can do it. Do it for me. For my big coc-’.

“You got this, kid. I mean – y/n.” Jake’s sudden voice interrupts your... train of thought.

If you hadn’t just been eye-fucking the man he’s keeping you away from you would’ve probably warmed up to his... attempt to make things right.

You let out a loud scoff and roll your eyes before diving into the water. Your fingers pierce the surface of the water, slender body moving through the water quickly and making the lap in one breath.

Turning your head, you quickly realise why they had you so far up in the mangroves. It was a test. A breath test. But what confirmed your suspicion is the look at your fathers’ face. An expression of surprise – shocked to see you even swim much less hold your breath for the entire lap.

Did he really have that little faith in you? You shake your head in disbelief, landing your stare on the spectators – the olo’eyktans’ family and other superior hunters and warriors. All of which stood high up in the mangroves, observing your every move.

How intimidating.

You exhale slowly, hoping to steady your galloping heart, but your efforts are to no avail. It feels as if its leaping from your chest the more you near the writhing, restless beast. And the closer you get, the louder its low, deep rumbling grows.  

You’re about chest-deep in the water now, bouncing on the tips of toes as you inch closer and get a better look. You scan its entire body, starting at the white caudal fin, up to its furled wings and long snout – which houses at least a hundred jutting-out, needlelike teeth. Overall, its menacing demeanour makes your stomach sink.

Shit. Can I really do this? You think, shaky hand reaching behind you for your kuru as you continue to study the beast’s tough exterior.

“Y/n.” Tonowari saying your name snaps your eyes up to him smiling down at you. “Make the bond.” He gestures over to Ralak, who’s holding tsurak’s kuru in one hand, and the harness in the other.

He can tell from your body language and the glint in your eye that you’re nervous and having doubts. It’s the way you gnaw at your bottom lip, just like you did whenever you were getting frustrated during your lessons.

You settle yourself beside him, feeling his warmth radiate off his body onto yours. It’s been so long since you’ve been this close to each other. You’re not even touching, yet it feels so good. So right. You allow yourself to sway with the current of the water so that your shoulder brushes against his arm, sending your freckles flickering in broad daylight.

His chin remains tucked into his chest, arm extended towards you with the beasts’ kuru in hand. “Remember what I said.” He mutters under his breath, low enough for only you to hear.

You glance up at him briefly, trying your best to recall what he’s said to you about tsuraks. Your brows pinch in ponder as your pink tendrils dance wildly when they near the creature’s kuru. Was it something about the bond? Or was it how to grip the harness?

Ralak leans in, pretending to bring the kuru closer to your short stature. “yours to do whatever you please with.”

Oh. That.

You recall when he pressed your hand against his half-hard cock and told you it was all yours if you tamed tsurak. Just thinking about how warm it felt in your hand ebbs away the fear you’ve harboured in your chest, replacing it with a new feeling of determination.

Trying to withhold the smile creeping up on your face, you watch as your tendrils intertwine with the tsuraks’, kurus bonding together with a quick pull. A shiver runs through the creature as it snarls and growls, and your pupils dilate and constrict, breath hiccupping as you sync together.

You can feel it’s strength – it’s prowess. The way it breathes under and out of water. The way its left wing is injured from the na’vi that kicked it when tumbling off. The frustration brewing in its stomach. The exhaustion he’s feeling.

Instinctually, your hand caresses the length of his slippery snout, razor sharp teeth grazing your darker blue skin. “tam tam, tam tam [calm; there there]” You coo quietly, sliding your hand up his snout to grip the harness tightly. To your surprise, he settles immediately, sensing your empathy towards his state.

A sense of mutual respect.

Taking this as your signal to mount him, you hoist yourself up onto his back, being extra careful not to touch his wing. You find yourself struggling, being so far out at this height was only another obstacle in your way. Without warning the tsurak sinks into the water, lowering itself for you to haul your leg over its back.

“Irayo [thank you].” You whisper through a smile, settling yourself comfortably on the woven saddle.

Finally lifting your head up, you’re met with the stare of two surprised men, and one proud man. Ralak has this smug look on his face, like he knew all along that you would be able to make the bond in this way. And that – that’s just what you needed.

The three men let go of the beast, backing away with their hands in the air, allowing you space to ride. You tighten your grip one last time – something you recall being the most important thing, and think, go.

The tsurak takes off at full speed, caudal fin swishing from side to side, providing thrust to propel you forward. The sheer force of his jerky movements has your grip loosening already, audible swoosh of his tail growing louder the more wobble side to side.

Easy. Easy.

He steadies instantly, providing you with enough time to tighten your grip and position yourself properly on his back. You’re mindful of his injured wing, grounding the heel of your non-dominant foot beside his good wing. With your other leg, you settle your knee into his back, finding balance in your own body.

The shimmying comes to a halt, leaving you gliding effortlessly through the water, swoosh of his tail steady and low. You pull up, prompting his wings to splay out, revealing their vibrant red and orange colours. Soon the whoosh of his flapping wings drowns out the noise of his caudal fin propelling you upwards and out the water.

“There you go.” You think out loud, steadying yourself mid-air.

It’s an exhilarating feeling. The cool wind in your face and the way the sun rays heat up your skin. It almost feels like your ikran. A big smile spreads across your lips as you give his gill a gentle, reassuring tap. That’s when you feel the dull ache in your left shoulder worsen.

“Tam, tam. [there, there]” You repeat, recognizing his pain. That’s your cue to prepare yourself for the hardest part – the dive. This is the part which typically ends with the force of such a plunge knocking the na’vi off it’s back. The true test.

With a quick, deep breath, you tighten your grip around the harness one last time and dive onto your stomach, hugging his lower back with your knees. You tuck your chin to your chest and brace yourself for impact. The tsurak tucks his wings flush to his sides and plunges in, long snout piercing the water’s surface with ease.

The force of the plunge is indescribable. It’s almost like the feeling you get when you plummet down the hallelujah mountains on your ikran. But more intense. The water adds extra resistance, knocking you back to the point of your knuckles almost dislocating.

Despite that, your grip remains strong as you hurtle through the water, tilting to the side to avoid the reef. The slight sting of your lungs act as your cue to make a sharp turn and head back. You ascend slowly as you dart through the water, resurfacing completely before the three men.

You let out the breath you’ve been holding with an audible haa as you bring the beast to a halt. You wipe the water from your face and try to catch your breath, looking up to see Ralak with one of the biggest smiles on his face – the first of its kind. And you couldn’t quite tell if the shock plastered on the other mens’ faces are for you or for him.

You return the smile as you gently pull away your kuru from the tsuraks’ and dismount him. “He is weary. And injured. Left wing.” You pant, meeting eyes with the giant beaming with pride. “Let him rest, Lak.”

“Ah.” He chuckles breathily, using his tail to caress the back of your leg. “I will be sure to do that, my Tsurak Makto.”

Cheeks heating up to a dangerous degree, you avert your gaze elsewhere, only for it to land on the Olo’eyktan himself. He, too, is smiling wide, moving towards you with an extended arm. You link arms, slender fingers wrapping around his strake.

“You are Metkayina now, y/n. Soleia [congrats; you did it]” Tonowari declares.

“Thank you, sir. And your daughter –”

“While I am sure she has taught you well, Ralak is the one to thank here.” He rests a firm hand on Ralak’s shoulder.

You look over into the mangroves and see your father with his arms crossed over his chest, nodding and smiling. He’s impressed, to say the least. But not only with you and the way you absolutely mastered the taming of the skimwing, but also with Ralak – who is clearly to thank for that.

----

With night being only a blink away, things move quickly. Na’vi men and women rush to begin the preparations for the iknimaya celebration on the open, sandy area on the beach. They haul in large, tightly strung instruments, scrupulously carved flutes, drums made from animal skin, and horns made from bone, setting them up on the large, flattened rocks.

The clans’ best singers apply various colours of tsamopin [warpaint] to their skin, accentuating their features, while the elder, wiser na’vi prepare the native dishes for the feast. Fruits, vegetables, grains, and meat are cooked to perfection and spread carefully for everyone to have a taste. Bottles of fermented fruit garnish the spread. Others hurry to ornament the space with harvested bioluminescent flora from inland, and light the bon fire.

Tsireya approaches you with a full, large basket tucked on her hip. She smiles as she places her free hand on your back, guiding you and the small group of four other na’vi who passed their iknimaya to a secluded marui. Propping the basket between two jutting mangrove roots, she retrieves a handful of different coloured beads and shells.

As tsakarem [Tsahik in training], it is Tsireya’s duty to seal the iknimaya by rewarding those who passed with a few artefacts to signify their adulthood. “For your songchord.” She speaks, distributing the beads among the five of you before fetching the special pieces of clothing.

“You have all passed your iknimaya.” She speaks softly, distributing the clothing to the others. “Soleia! [congrats; you met the challenge] You may all receive your inking at the ftxozä [celebration]”

She comes to you last, carefully handing you a woven palm leaf. “I am proud of you, y/n.” She whispers, watching as you quickly open the woven packet, revealing your first Metkayinan article of clothing. Your eyes widen as you hold it in front of them.

Seven warbonnet fern leaves stained in crimson coloured ink, strung tightly together with fishing line. It’s beautiful. The leaves are long and pointed, meticulously placed to provide enough coverage for your chest. You rest it against your chest, raising your brows at Tsireya for her opinion.

She clicks her tongue, hand flying to grip her chin as she ‘thinks’. “Hm... He’s definitely going to rip that off of you.” She teases, fingers covering her mouth to hide her giggle. You laugh, probably a little too loudly given the four pairs of eyes staring at you both.

“The sun is setting, everyone! Get ready, wear your pen [clothing] with pride, look your best, and most of all, have fun!” Tsireya shouts happily, gesturing with her hand for them to hurry.

Everyone rushes to get ready, slipping in their pen and putting on their best face. You observe their hasty, excited movements, when the last rays of sunlight avert your stare to the horizon. You catch sight of the sunset, something you rarely got to see back home. The big, blood orange orb sinks beneath the horizon, turning the water a hue of orange.  

Your gaze follows the ginger ripples of the water up to the beach, where you’re met with the sight of a blazing bonfire, flames growing as tall as some palm trees. A breath-taking sight. The skilled pamtseotu [musicians] work at their instruments, nimble fingers plucking the taut strings, and the wax coated bones beating away at the drums.

You admire the glow of the people as they enjoy themselves. Two elderly women trying to hear each other over the loud da-dum of the drums. A few young adults having their first sips of pxir [beer; liquor]. Parents with their sleeping babies strapped to their backs sharing a dance under the moonlight. Ao’nung and Rotxo eating as much as their cheeks can hold. Ralak – oh.

Ralak talking to your father.

----

Ralak’s POV (starting from iknimaya)

“While I am sure she has taught you well, Ralak is the one to thank here.” He rests a firm hand on Ralak’s shoulder.

Ralak remains silent, yet his mind is loud. He has so much to do – so much on his plate. But all he can think about is you. How you bring light to his small, dim world. How your presence alone uplifts the weight on his shoulders. And oh, how the past few weeks have been tortuous for him.

Tonowari, the man that took him in after the passing of his parents, had him hard at work since you weren’t allowed to see him anymore. Tonowari isn’t oblivious to what’s going on. He can tell the situation for what it is, but out of respect for Jake he made the arrangements for Tsireya to teach you instead.

Ralak has been waiting for the right time to speak with Tonowari about the matter. The matter of asking for your hand. Although he wasn’t necessarily asking Tonowari for permission for your hand, but more so permission for himself. Permission to dedicate his time to his mate, his family – to his dream, mundane life.

He watches you swim back to the mangroves, and with an injured tsurak there’s a bit of time between you and the next contender. Tonowari instructs for the other warrior to tend to the tsurak, and for a moment, it’s just Tonowari and Ralak.   

The two giants exchange glances, standing in silence as one waits for the other to speak. Ralak knows it’s the perfect time to do it. You’ve just passed your iknimaya and they’re alone and far from any company.

“Sir.” Tonowari turns to face Ralak, knowing what’s coming next. Ralak slowly raises his head, tilting it to return the gaze. “I want to mate with her.” He speaks assertively, showing his seriousness through a stern gaze.

Tonowari nods a few times, breaking eye contact as he momentarily drops his head. He knows what this means – what he’s truly asking for. Freedom. Less duties. More time put into building the family he’s always wanted. To rediscover his days as a fisherman. To live his simple life.

Tonowari looks at Ralak, hand swiftly moving to firmly grip his shoulder and give it a squeeze. “You have my blessing, son.” Ralak smiles, using his free hand to clasp Tonowari’s. “But you must speak with Toruk Makto first.” Tonowari booms with laughter, pulling his hand off Ralak’s shoulder.

Although Ralak is almost as much as a giant as his mentor, he found Jake to be intimidating. He has extreme respect for Jake, admiring how family oriented he is. Which is why he wants to do it right. “I will. Tonight.”

--

Ralak hauls in a lengthy, wooden table, plopping it down in the open, sandy area. An elderly woman approaches him, thanking him with a gentle hand to his back and a gummy smile. Her free hand holds a bowl containing a mixture of diced fruits. He quickly takes it from her, placing it carefully in the centre of the table.

“Allow me. You rest.” He says with a thick accent, linking arms with her to walk her back over to the seating area.

“Tak. Always such a kind boy.” She whispers softly, patting his hand before letting go and taking a seat.

Jake and Neytiri are assisting with the seating area, rearranging the order of things. Ralak gestures a respectful greeting to them both, bowing his head before the former Olo’eyktan. Neytiri gives him a warm smile, acknowledging his kind gesture towards the elder.

She has always disagreed with Jakes decision to separate you two, insisting that he is too harsh on you and that you have already passed your iknimaya back home. She had taken a liking to Ralak since the day you rode an ilu after only a week of lessons.

“Sir. May I speak with you?” Ralak asks politely.

Jake lets out a hesitant sigh, looking at his mate who’s shooting him a deathly glare. He purses his lips into a thin line and gives Ralak a firm nod, gesturing with his hand that they go somewhere more private to talk. He follows Jake willingly, walking with him to the shoreline.

They stand in silence for a moment, much like he did with Tonowari earlier. Ralak takes a deep breath, preparing himself for the worst. He turns to look Toruk Makto dead in the eye, mask of indifference fixed tightly to his face.

“I would like to apologize for the way things turned out. It was never my intention.” Ralak speaks, holding eye contact with the great warrior – who is visibly biting his tongue for the sake of not being strangled by his own wife. “Your daughter. She is truly the best thing that has happened to me. Kind. Caring. Understanding. Yes, she has her moments.” Ralak widens his eyes, quirking his brows before smirking a little. “But I love those too.”

“Uh-huh.” Jake gives him a small nod, doing a ‘come on’ motion with his hand, implying he should get to the point.

A little intimidated, Ralak averts his gaze to his feet and speaks quickly and confidently. “I want to provide for her. Protect her. With my life. I will give her anything she desires. Everything she needs. I will give her a good life.” Ralak’s eyes snap up to meet Jake’s. “But only with your permission, sir.”

“You gonna look me in the eye this time and make that promise?” Jake raises his brows, wrinkling his forehead.

Ralak clears his throat, straightening his shoulders to stand at full height, towering over Jake. “I love her. I will take care of her. Give her everything. If you’ll allow it.”

There’s a moment of silence – other than the increasingly loud thump of the drums – where Jake and Ralak stand face to face. Jake process all what Ralak has said. He’s never heard so many words fall from this man’s mouth before. Jake’s shoulders drop as he heaves a sigh, perked ears now relaxing against his skull. Hands flying to his hips, he looks away briefly before looking back at Ralak.

“She’s my babygirl. You know that, right?” Jake growls through gritted teeth.

“Yes, sir.” Ralak is quick to answer.

“I swear, if you let anything – and I mean anything happen to my babygirl...” Jake’s voice his dark and gruff, laced with uncertainty. 

“Understood. And, agreed. If anything happens to her, you have every right.” Ralak assures the former Olo’eyktan, grimacing at the mere thought.

“Right. Then you have my permission, Ralak.” Jake nods, extending his arm to the taller na’vi. Ralaks ears bolt upright, overjoyed to hear the words. They join arms with an audible smack, sealing the deal with a firm shake. “Go on. Go find her.” Jake nudges over to the mangroves with his chin, “Before I change my mind.” Ralak bows his head slightly and parts ways to look for you.

---- End of Ralak’s POV

Shit, I should go. You think, turning on your heels to go find Ralak. By the time you’ve turned around, everyone is gone except for Tsireya.

“Come, let’s get you ready.” Tsireya grins wide, slowly creeping towards you with her handmade palette of colours.

You pull your head back, a downturned smile spreading across your face. “Where are you putting that? What is that?”

“Just a little something for your cheeks, come on.” She smiles even wider, dipping her finger into the creamy concoction.

“Eh. Not my thing.” You pull your head back even more.

“Ralak will like it.” She sings, wiggling her pink stained finger in the air.

You let out a small sigh of defeat and lean forward. “Fine. Only a little, okay?”

“Mhm!” Tsireya squeals, beaming with delight as he smears the creamy mixture on the apples of your cheeks. “There. And a little for your lips, too.” She says, quickly swiping it on your lips before you can refuse.

You grunt in response, popping your lips to distribute it evenly. “Well. How do I look?”

“Sevin [pretty], and you’ll look even better when you put that on.” She stares at the crimson strained top in your hands.

You slip into your top, fixing the leaves into position to cover your nipples, and do a twirl for the chief’s daughter. “Well?” You ask with open hands.

You didn’t think that cheeky grin could grow much wider, but it does. A grin so wide that it’s ear to ear.“Fyole [perfect]. Now let’s go get your mate.”

Maybe her giddiness is just catching, but hearing one of the most beautiful girls in the village call you fyole makes you grin too. She tugs at your arm, urging you to follow her down the webbed pathway towards the sandy area.

As you both make your way down to the beach, the faint whoof of the drums deepen in bass, and the plunk of the stringed instruments grows higher. And soon you can make out the song that’s playing. It’s the same song that Tsireya has been trying to hum to you for the past week. You keep your chin tucked to your chest, gaze locked to your feet as you follow behind Tsireya.

Once you see the silky sand spill through the cracks of your toes, you look up to see that you’re both standing at the edge of the crowd. People are packed tightly together, sweaty bodies pressed firmly against each other as they move to the beat.

The ambiance is electric, you can practically see it jolt through the crowd. Different colours glow around the moving bodies, it reminds you of your dream hunt.

Tsireya grabs a hold of your hand, squeezing it tightly to bring you out of your deep thought. “Remember what I taught you, yes?” You stare at her wide-eyed, knowing what she’s going to tell you next. “Dance with me, vultsyìp [stick].” She sings the last word teasingly, tugging you into the crowd behind her.  

As much as you loved the music, you’re focused on Ralak. You want to find him, be with him. You look around as you both weave through the crowd, bumping into people having a good time, drinking, and dancing. You swear you see a few people laying in the sand on top of one another, bent into positions you’ve never seen before.

Tsireya can sense that you’re a little anxious. Perhaps you feel out of place, or maybe you’re just a little stunned by the way of her – your people dance. She looks back on you and gives you a reassuring smile, squeezing your hand tighter as she burrows you both through the dancing crowd.

Finally coming to a more spacious area, she wraps her arms around your waist and pulls you in close. You slump into her, chin resting on her shoulder. Her lips brush against the shell of your ear. “Let him come to you.”

You pull back, looking around to see if he’s anywhere nearby before leaning back in to speak into her ear. “How will he know where to find me?”

Tsireya laughs, lifting a hand from your waist to tap her flat nose a few times, signing ‘smell’.

You nod slowly, trusting her word, despite you being in a large crowd that reeks of pxir[liquor], and – sex. You take a deep breath, smelling an array of scents all mixed, and overlapping one another. It’s almost overwhelming, leaving you feeling all hazy and dazed.

“Now dance with me!” She shouts over the boom of the music, sliding her hands down your waist to grip your hips. A giggle bubbles up your throat, the aphrodisiac properties of the music now taking affect. It sets a fire in your body, heating you up from the inside out and making your hips move in her grip.

It’s a little frightening, feeling your body move on its own, much like it did during your first heat. You try to fight it a little, feeling a little timid from how the music is affecting you in this way. But you recall Tsireya explaining to you that it’s something to do with ‘the way of Eywa permeating through the music’ – or something.

Tsireya realizes that your movements are bit rigid and broken, plagued with uncertainty. “Let go. Feel the music.” She urges you, guiding your hips in the direction of her motions. You allow yourself to let go, closing your eyes to immerse yourself in the trance of the music, moving freely to the rhythm.

With each beat of the drum comes a quick roll of your waist. And soon you’re dancing on her, vibrations of the instruments rippling through you. It comes naturally, body moving in a sinuous manner against hers. At the same time, it’s such a foreign feeling, as if your pores are dilating and releasing your essence into the air.

Meanwhile, Ralak is searching for you at the edge of the crowd, peeking over the sea of people. His eyes quickly scan the waves of dancing na’vi, looking for his tahni. His deep blue tahni. He had no interest in going into the crowd, much less surrender himself to the hypnotic ways of the music.

But he has no other choice.

He nosedives into the crowd, working his way between people as they increasingly get more and more suggestive with their bodies. One cannot simply walk through this without being affected to some degree – the pink tinge of his cheeks is evidence of it.

A hand instinctively flies to his nose to block out the mixture of scents bombarding him. Pxir. Sex. Desperation. Its almost contagious. Only making him want to be with you even more. Nearly to the point of desperation. He needs you. To be around you. To touch you. To be inside you.

Until it just becomes too much. Too much that a simple hand overing his burning nostrils won’t suffice. He drops his hand in defeat, allowing the mesmeric fumes to engulf him. It’s nauseating, yet his want for you grows stronger, to the point where he could swear to Eywa herself that the scent is slowly morphing into yours.

And yours only.

Ralak closes his eyes, inhaling so deeply that his chest tightens – all so he can savour your sweet, sweet aroma. He succumbs to it, nose following the scent to the source like an ilu being lured with a piece of fish. When he opens his eyes, he sees you. Clear as day.

There’s an aura around you, glowing so bright it’s almost blinding. It’s like the light in the darkness – all over again. Just like the first day he met you. The day you brought meaning to his life after losing so much.

Right there.

In awe, he watches your little body move effortlessly to the rhythm, slender tail swishing excitedly behind you. It’s the way you look – all flushed and flustered, dressed in the clothes of the Metkayina. He swallows thickly at the sight, influence of your pheromones making it that much harder – literally. He’s so hard it hurts, balls tightening and pulling so close to him that he shifts his weight to the next foot.

Yet his eyes dare not move. They bore into you so deep that even you can sense his stare. Your body knows he’s close, speeding up with your lewd movements, luring him in even more. And it works. He can’t help but move a little closer. Just to get a better look at you. At how you’ve learned the dance of his people, moving just like one of them with no difficulty.

And then you feel him.

Pressing against your body from behind, his warmth only heating you up more. You can smell him – no need to turn around to check who it is. You lean back into him, back of your head slumping into his chest. Everything’s so hot – so heavy. He leans down, pressing his soft, warm lips against your throat, using his tongue to taste the sheen on your skin.

You exhale an audible haah, chest heaving harshly as your nipples harden into peaks underneath your new garments. Tsireya lets you go, retreating into the crowd to leave you both alone. His hands quickly replace hers, wrapping tightly around your waist, pulling you in closer to his hot body.

That’s when you feel it, hard and firm, pressing into your lower back. Then your breaths turn raggedy, becoming louder. You can’t help but grind into it, feeling him bend his knees, body receptive to your movements. And soon he’s grinding into you too, bodies falling into synchrony.

“So this is what you have been learning. Hm?” He whispers gruffly into the shell of your ear, following your every move as you lower yourself even more.

“May-be” The word comes out broken from the pace your body is setting for him to keep up with.

“All for me?” He chuckles, greedy hands lowering to your thighs, fingers smoothing over your clammy skin.

“Mmn – mhm.” You purr, thighs squeezing together as you shimmy your hips into him, providing your throbbing clit with a little friction.

His hands swipe underneath your loincloth as they glide back up to your hips, his lips pressing into your neck once more. He peppers hot, wet kisses down to the tips of your shoulders and up to the back of your neck. It sends your freckles flickering under the moonlight, surely gaining more eyes on the two of you.

But neither of you cared. Not in this moment.

“Feel me.” He growls, sinking his fingers into your hips to shove you into his pelvis. “Feel what you do to me.”

You can hear the frustration in his voice, he’s so wound up that you can just tell from the way he’s manhandling your hips. “Oh, fuck.” You gasp, rubbing yourself against his hardened bulge, tail wrapping around his thin waist.

Calloused hands work their way up your stomach, fingers grazing over the dip of your navel before finding purchase under the strings of your top. He hooks his thumbs under the twine, running them along its length. You bow your back against him, pushing back into his crotch.

“My beautiful tahni.” He groans shakily, resisting the urge to pin you down and take what’s his, right here, right now. “I have missed you.”

“Ma’ Lak.” You moan softly, feeling so out of it – so hazy and light-headed.

“Do me the honour of being my mate.” He tries to speak politely, keeping his voice steady and calm, rough grinding smoothing into gentle swaying.

“Say that again for me.” You pant through a smile, dipping your head forward to give him better access to your neck.

A low growl rumbles in his chest as pointed canines graze over the nape of your neck, eager to sink into your supple skin. You spin around, drawing a little blood when they scrape against your skin. He shoves a knee between your legs, spreading them apart to press his pelvis firmly into yours. “Mate with me, woman.”

“Oh, yeah? Right here?” You tease, tugging at his queue to bring it over his shoulder.

“You’re trouble. You know that?” He chuckles breathily, leaning down to nuzzle into your neck, breathing in your hypnotic scent.

“I’ve been told.” You let out a soft giggle, twirling the end of his kuru around your finger.

Eywa, did that feel good.

“Come.” He says quickly - impatiently, hoisting you up onto him, wrapping your legs around his waist. He stumbles over to the shore, still feeling the effects of the melodic music coursing in his bloodstream. Quickly calling for his tsurak with a tik-tak, he watches as the large beast glides through the water towards him.

In an instant, Ralak bonds and mounts the beast with you stuck to him, holding you close with one hand and gripping the harness tightly with the other. You bury your face into his chest, basking in his natural scent as you try to calm down. But you’re so on edge and need some sort of release soon.

“Need y-you. S-so bad.” You moan needily, breath hitching as you grind the soft flesh between your legs against the tautness of his tewng [loincloth].

Ralak’s brows pinch tightly together, huffing a breath of hot air through his nostrils. His restraint is dwindling by the millisecond. He needs you. Craves you. Hungers for you. And he can no longer withhold himself, not when you’re still grinding into him, even though the music has faded out.

“I know. Almost there. A little longer.” He hums breathlessly, beads of sweat rolling down his temples.

Ralak’s so flustered and hot that he can barely maintain control over his winged beast, making the ride to the cove of ancestors rough and bumpy. The burning need to possess you – dominate you – only grows stronger with each huff of hot air you breathe onto his bare chest.

He wants so badly to just drill himself inside you, right on the back of this tsurak. Leaving his cock buried deep in your tight, wet heat for the remainder of the ride. So that when you do arrive, he can lay you down on the nearest rock and have his way with you.

But he won’t. Not for your first time. Not before you mate.

Your breath rasps in your throat, nimble fingers working away at the knot above his tail. It’s as if you could hear his thoughts already, telling you to take him right here, right now. Or perhaps it’s the way his painfully hard cock almost bores through the thin cloth, right into your sopping cunt as his hips buck into you. Both of you reek with desperation, a scent so pungent any passer-by would gag. Yet he still finds the self-control to reach behind him to rest a gentle hand on your wriggling fingers.

“Wait.” A single word parts his flushed lips, gruff and strained. It’s all he can get out in his state of mind. He wants nothing more than to just do this the right way. The way he’s been planning for years on end. You whine a little when he pulls your hand away, plunking it back onto your slippery thigh.

“Please.” You mewl, fingers now burrowing between your pelvises to slip under the band of his loincloth, pulling it down just enough to unsheathe his thick cock. It’s slaps against his flexed abdomen, tip of his glossy, reddened head poking right below his crossed ribs. It’s all swollen and throbbing, sticky from how much precum he’s leaking all over himself.

Denying him the chance to refuse, you shove your clothed cunt against his slickened length, humping into him with ease. He tries to bite back a sudden groan, tightening his jaw so much he may fracture it. His breaths turn raggedy as he rests his chin on the crown of your head.

Eyes becoming so lidded, he doesn’t even realise that you’re finally here. The cove of the ancestors. The most sacred places in the village of Awa’atlu, where na’vi go to mate. You’re blissfully unaware of your surroundings, trying to stick your hand in your crotch to shift your loincloth to the side.

“I said. Wait.” A gruff, stern voice sends a shiver down your spine.

And fuck – it only makes you hornier, sending your hips in a thrusting frenzy, doing their best to line his cockhead up with your dripping entrance. You can’t quite catch it as it keeps bucking and slipping over your puffy clit. You grunt a frustrated ‘mmph’, irritated that he isn’t sliding in like you thought.

Ralak is struggling to maintain his composure. Half of him wants to chuckle at your futile attempts to fuck him, and the other half wanting to just ram his cock inside you for being so stubborn. He takes a deep breath in, holding it to reground himself. He exhales a sigh of relief once he bumps into the rocky cove of his people’s most sacred place.

“Eywa – tahni.” A tortured groan evades his lips when he forces himself to shift his pelvis away from you as you persist with your efforts to hurt yourself. He inhales deeply, slowing his galloping heart. “Be a good girl for me, hm? We are here now.” He croons at you, wrapping your hands around his neck and supporting your back as he dismounts his tsurak.   

The bioluminescence of the water glows behind you as Ralak walks you both towards a nearby sea cave. Directly below you is the spirit tree – its fronds and filters luminating the area radiantly. You try to squirm out his grip, feet dangling above the cave floor from the way he refuses to let you go.

“Not here. Too rough.” He grunts as he hoists you back up and walks further into the large, open sea cave. Its floor is completely flat, with all sorts of flora growing between the cracks of the rock. The deeper you venture in, the greener it becomes. Until eventually, all that covers the floor is a thick bed of green, silky moss.

Little creatures buzz around, luminating the darkness of the cave, exposing the markings on the wall from previous mating sessions. Etched swirls, zigzags, and other patterns to signify a new union. There’s no doubt that this little ‘hidden’ spot is a popular place for na’vi to mate before Eywa.

You calm down a bit, influence of the music wearing off now that you’re both so far away from the celebration. At this point you just feel a bit buzzed, melting into Ralak’s grasp as your tense muscles relax. But your droopy eyes snap open when you feel him unwrapping your legs from his waist.

“Here.” Ralak husks, voice deep and thick with arousal.

He lets you down gently, snaking his arms around your waist to pull you in for a kiss. His lips crash into yours, so heated and frantic that there’ll for sure be bruises there tomorrow. His eager hands explore your body, releasing all the pent-up feelings he’s been holding back for the past few months.

Hearts thumping wildly in your chests, you pull away and share the same breath, panting open mouthed before your lips meet again. His hands find themselves cupped around your reddened cheeks, impatiently pulling you in closer until your bodies are flush against one another.

Webbed hands work their way down the column of your throat, calloused thumbs gently pressing into your windpipe. You let out a choked gasp, mouth hanging open as his hands continue their way down to your chest, fingers parting the blood-red leaves to expose your stiffened nipples.

Rolling the tiny, sensitive peaks between his thumb and index fingers, he quickly moves his kisses down your jaw and up to the lobe of your ear, biting it as gently as he can. You stand there open-mouthed, breath catching in your throat momentarily.

You exhale as you rub your thighs together, smearing your sticky arousal all over them. It spreads your scent into the air, causing Ralak to pull away from your ear and takes a deep breath in. He releases it with a lengthy ‘ahh’, face growing hot from the way you smell. You can see him clench and unclench his jaw as the lump in his throat moves from how hard he’s swallowing.

Cerulean eyes pierce into yours, a moment of stillness passes by where his face morphs into the same face he makes when he’s trying not to succumb to that animalistic urge to ravish you on the spot. But it’s been too long. No amount of clenching and gritting could help him.

Not tonight.

He grabs you by the jaw, pulling you up on the tips of your toes to kiss you – hard. His lips crush yours frenetically, letting go all his worries and apprehensions. Truly indulging himself in the moment. In you. He fills his lungs with your arousal – your aphrodisiac. Getting high on you and allowing his body to speak for him.

Slipping his tongue into your mouth, he backs you up against the wall, hand flying to the back of your head to cushion the impact. Your tongues roll over each other, taking in the feeling of every tastebud. Both his hands slip down to yours, lengthy fingers enfolding your wrists as he brings them above your head, pinning them to the wall.

He quickly binds your wrists together, securing them tightly with one hand whilst he shoves his free hand between your slickened thighs. A small, shaky gasp breaks the kiss, thick fingers tugging down your soddened garments. You help him by shimmying your hips, allowing the flimsy material to drop to your ankles.

Now you’re just irresistible.

His fingers graze past your plump, smooth folds, before finding their way in between them. “Ralak.” His name slips out, all breathy and small. You say it so nicely, so sweet and innocent, and his ears can’t help but flicker at the double syllabled word. Eywa, he loves it so much that he makes it his mission to have you scream it by the end of the night.

But not yet.

He brings his digits to his nose, inhaling as deep as his lungs can go, closing his eyes to relish in the sweet, sweet scent of your arousal. And when his eyes open, you swear you see them shift in colour, darkening to a cerulean blue. There filled with greed, gazing longingly at you as if you were something to devour.

And that’s when he takes his fingers into his mouth, having his taste of you. Tongue weaving through the cracks of his digits, he licks them clean, using his thumb to wipe the corners of his mouth before popping that in too. There was something about the way he did that, sucking on his fingers as if you were the best thing, he’s ever tasted in his twenty-four years of living.

It makes you want to taste him too. Back bowing against the jagged wall, you try to wriggle free from his grasp, prompting him to loosen his fingers. In an instant you sink to your knees, staticky hands latching onto his thighs as you press your face against his half-covered bulge. His hand flattens against the wall, supporting his weight as he peers down at you wide-eyed.

You walk your fingers up his thighs, tucking them under the band of this loincloth to yank it down. Out springs his twitching cock, rock hard and throbbing from how swollen he’s gotten from sharing a few kisses. Your eyes cross as you look at it for the first time up close.

It’s... thick. So thick you can’t close your hand around it, leaving a spacious gap between your fingers and thumb. It only gets fatter towards the middle, then tapers off into his mushroomy head, curved and ribbed. His ridges are pointed, yet soft, spanning around and down the underside of his cockhead.

It curves upward, jumping to the rate of his heartbeat. A single bead of precum oozes from his slit, dripping off his cockhead in a thin string. Your tongue darts out, flattened with the tip of it touching your chin, eyes locked on his as you wait patiently for your fill. And when it finally drops onto your tongue, your tastebuds dance from the slightly sweet taste.

His brows jump at the sight, eyelids fluttering a little too quickly to be considered calm and collected. You can’t fight the smug look creeping on your face when you lock your jaw and swallow it with glee. Oh, to make a big, grown man like him crumble.

Naturally, you want to see how far you can push him. You wrap your dainty fingers around his cock, hold it taut to expose his throbbing head. Unsure of what you’re doing, you give him little kitten licks, playing with the little ridges underneath the tip of his cock.

His head slumps forward, thick strands of loose hair swaying side to side as his core flexes and unflexes. He’s biting his bottom lip, struggling to hold back that low grumble deep in his chest, hand balling into a fist against the wall.

And when you finally take him into your mouth, engulfing him in wet heat, his hips thrust. Hard. He didn’t mean for it, you just feel so fucking good around his cock, swollen lips stretching to their limit just for him to fit. Your eyes water, tip of his cock prodding into the back of your throat, corners of your mouth burning from the sheer size of him.

The way you’re looking up at him all glossy eyed and innocent, trying to absolute hardest not to gag on not even half of his cock sends him over the edge. He tightens his fist, knuckles scraping against the rocky wall, surely becoming bloody as he fights the urge to thrust into you one more time.

That’s when you hear the rumble in his chest, the steady, low growl traveling up his throat. Perhaps it was meant to scare you, or maybe it’s the face he’s making – narrowed, beady eyes and thinly pursed lips. Make you sit in the dip of your feet and be the good girl he wants you to be. But it only makes you wetter, thick strings of your own slick oozing onto the mossy floor.

You take him deeper into your mouth, mushroomy tip making its way down the tightness of your throat. The hot tears stream down your cheeks, washing away the rouge to reveal an even pinker tinge of your skin. The saliva pooling in your cheeks spills out the corners of your mouth, dribbling down your chin with nowhere to go.

Instinctively, you swallow.

An innocent reflex, as innocent as the glazed eyes that peer up at him. He lets out a sudden, sonorous groan, brows pinching so tightly together it creases his forehead. It’s so sensitive, so tender, that his hips snap back, cock pulling out your mouth with a loud pop. His bloodied hand flies down to your pinch your chin, pushing you away from him all together.

“’m sorry.” You apologize through a hoarse voice, thinking you’ve hurt him.

He shakes his head, thumb swiping the drool on your swollen bottom lip. “Don’t.” He exhales, chest rising and falling from how hard he’s breathing. You watch this gentle giant crumble to his knees before you, chin tucked to his chest to hide his face. He swallows harshly, clearing his throat as he slowly raises his head and looks up at you through hooded eyes.

“Tsaheylu.” He says breathlessly, heated ears laying flat against his head. He catches his breath as he shuffles closer to you, hand reaching for his kuru. All that’s running through his mind is that he must do this right. And with whatever remaining restraint ebbing away, he must do it now. “Tsaheylu, tahni.” He repeats quickly.

Ralak holds his kuru upwards, exposing his pink tendrils as they dance wildly before your eyes. There’s a moment of silence, where you both take in the lilac hue of his kuru. You nod franticly as a hasty hand reaches behind you, quickly tugging your queue in front of you. You hold yours next to his, revealing your wiggling tendrils.

Your eyes widen when you realize that they sense one another – an invisible force pulling them together. You glance up at him, wondering if he’s feeling the tug too. He’s watching intently, ears twitching and eyes tinted purple from the hues of your kurus coming closer together all on their own.

Looking back down, you witness your tendrils excitedly intertwine with one another, kurus meeting with a quick, harsh tug. His eyes slam shut, ears practically disappearing as they embrace the curve of his skull. He exhales loudly, head dipping forward as his brows gather tightly.

Your breath catches in your throat, body waiting for him to take a breath. When he finally does, you gasp for air, filling your lungs in synchrony with him. His eyes pop open, pupils so blown that only a thin ring of blue remains. Your tail swishes wildly behind you before curling around your waist to tickle his thigh.

A faint ring buzzes in your ears, fading out into a vague, echo of his voice. You can hear his thoughts, feel the way your tail brushes against his skin makes him hot and bothered. You can feel his tightened chest, thick with emotion and overwhelm. And if you close your eyes and focus enough, you can feel his deep-rooted trauma – his past.

But you can also feel his present. His future. The way he desires you to be the one to bear his children. To make his marui into a home. His immense adoration for you and only you. and the more you tune into your mate, the more you feel his immense restraint and composure, the way he’s forcing himself to be gentle.

It’s all too much at once, yet not enough all together.

“I love you.” You blurt out in unison, urge so strong it’s exigent.

The tightness in your chest grows ten-fold, spreading to your core. Eager hands caress one another’s cheeks, pulling each other in for another heavy session of kissing. You break the kiss with a shove to his chest – your futile attempt to push him onto his back. He’s unbudging, strong and solid, even in such a carnal state.

“Lie down, Lak.” You pant, still out of breath from such an intimate experience.  

Ralak nods, slowly leaning back to prop himself up on his elbows. Loose, curly strands of hair sticks to his temples, inebriated gaze boring into yours. You climb between his legs, settling yourself comfortably in the dips of your feet.

His neglected cock twitches madly, pre-cum practically flowing down his length and onto his swollen, firm balls. You swallow thickly at such an enticing sight. You want to taste him. To return the pleasure he’s always ensuring for you. Now that you’re here, between this gentle giant’s legs, you realise that you’ve never even stroked him before.

Shaky, inexperienced hands wrap around his girth, experimentally gliding up and down its length a few times. You can feel every vein, every ridge pressing into the palm of your hands. He’s so rock hard that it looks painful. You can tell in the way he grimaces, peering down at you as you pump him without rhythm.

Holding his cock out the way, you lean in do something you’ve been thinking about since the day of your first lesson. Lick his tattoo. It’s raised and warm, even a little veiny too. You trace each stripe with the tip of your tongue, trailing it down to the base of his cock. Nuzzling your face into the space between his thigh and balls, you fill your lungs with his musky aphrodisiac.

“Eywa. You smell... so fucking good.” You exhale, licking his cock from base to tip. He shudders before you, lying down flat on his back and covering his face with his hands. You can tell you’re doing a good job, the little groans evading his mouth confirming that for you.

Taking him into your mouth, you suck on his mushroomy head, swallowing all the slick that pools in your cheeks. Its mostly sweet, with a little bit of a salty aftertaste. You mindlessly play with the ridges under his tip, liking the way they feel against your tastebuds. He seems to like it too, hips jolting forward with each swipe of your tongue.

“Muntxate [wife]” He growls the word, hand flying from his face to grab a fist full of your hair.

Yes, my love? You think, knowing he’s hearing your every thought and feeling your every emotion.

“Keep doing that and I’ll cum.” He warns you, tone of voice gruff and serious.

Good. Cum for me.

“Ssst–ah.” He lets out a shaky breath, hand beginning to pull your head off him. You quickly clutch his wrist, picking up the speed of your tongue whilst bobbing your head on his cock. “Tahni. Tahni. Tahni.” He groans, each word becoming more and more guttural as they slip off his tongue.

Let me taste you, Muntxatan [husband].

“Shit.” He whispers, caving in on himself as his other hand flies to your head, stopping you from bobbing your head all together. With a quick, single swipe of your tongue, his head pulsates feverishly, spurting ropes of warm, thick cum in your mouth. It pools in your cheeks, stuffing them until they burn from how full they are.

You swear you can hear the da-thump of his throbbing cock, balls pulling closely to his core. You hum triumphantly, proud of yourself for making him cum. You pull off with a subtle pop and a loud gulp, swallowing his huge load with greed. Wide eyes stare down at you, processing what you just did.

Seconds of silence fill the air, two freshly mated na’vi staring into each other’s eyes.  

Within seconds he’s pinning you down on your back, assaulting your throat with rough kisses. His core ruts against yours, sweaty, inexperienced bodies bumping into each other. Everything moves so quickly that you can barely process how he’s got you pinned down on your back underneath him, trailing wet, feverish kisses down your chest. You go to slip out of your top, only for a large hand to stop you.

“Keep it on.” He grunts into your skin, tip of his tongue leaving a trail of saliva down the centre of your stomach. Eyes flicking up to yours, his predatory, lustful gaze bores into you, soft lips pressing into your abdomen. They flicker from side to side as they admire your luminous beauty, flushed lips sucking bruised-like marks into your dark skin.

Little broken mewls part your lips, hips lifting slightly as he peppers gentle kisses below your navel. He maintains eye contact with you as he works his way down to your hipbones, leaving open-mouthed kisses against your hips, he works his way down to your soft thighs, tip of his tongue swiping against your skin – salty from the sea. He lingers there for a while, breathing deeply to savour the sweet scent of your heat that’s so, so close to him.

He lingers there, waiting patiently.

Waiting for your permission as he begs you with his eyes to let him have a proper taste of you. To have his turn. One side of your mouth pulling coy smirk, you weave your fingers through his hair to push his nose between your folds. He wrenches your thighs open, pinning your legs to the mossy ground as he begins to devour you.

Tongue parting your pussy lips, he greedily laps up the sweet nectar dripping from your slit. He grunts into your cunt, sucking on your clit, all swollen and puffy from being so neglected. His hips buck into the mossy bedding beneath him, chasing the feeling that’s transferring to him through the bond.

You yelp out when you feel his finger stretch you out, sinking inside you at a torturously slow pace. He doesn’t want to be too rough with you as it’s been a while since he’s touched you in this way. But you reassure him with a tug at his wrist, shoving his finger knuckle deep inside you.

But it’s just not enough.

“M-more, Ralak. Please!” You cry out, extreme pressure in your chest coming to a head.

Feeling the taut tension, Ralak quickly obliges, sinking another digit inside of you as he assaults the little bud of nerves with the flat of his tongue. Your toes curl at the same time he curls his fingers inside you, prodding them deep into that gummy part of your heat. The pressure feels like electricity, surging through your core and to the tips of your extremities.

He loves how you’re squirming around, hips sputtering to chase your orgasm all on your own. He’s so proud of you, working for your own release like the good girl you are. Praising you with a quick pat on your thigh, he quickens the pace of his fingers, working out a squelch with each thrust.

You begin chanting his name over and over, voice waning with each syllable, until its nothing a tiny, pathetic whimper. Your head spins and your heart skips as you clench tightly around his digits. Your legs tremble, working their way towards one another to close around his face.

“Gonna – oh f-fuck.” You let loose a sudden whine, shoving him into your pussy when you feel the final shockwave ripple through your being, leaving you a shaking mess at the mercy of his two fingers and tongue. Following your every jolt, he hums a victorious groan from the feeling of your pussy walls fluttering helplessly around his fingers. He pulls away with a ‘pwah’, using this opportunity of pure, unadulterated pleasure to stretch you out even more.

“Good girl. And breathe for me.” Ralak coos, sliding his third and final finger inside you. The stretch stings, causing you to wince for just a moment. He quickly curls his fingers, causing another wave of white-hot pleasure to ripple through you, masking that string just right.

Ralak gently moves his fingers inside you, just enough to get you used to the such a big stretch. The sharp sting fades away, leaving nothing but small shocks of electricity surging through your swollen pussy. Slumping your head back into the pillowy moss, you focus on steadying your breathing. Your vision is blurry, and things are becoming hazy, but you don’t want this moment to end.

“Lak... Want more. Please.” You moan weakly, eyes crossing before they roll to the back of your head. You’re already all fucked out from his fingers alone yet you’re begging him for more. And he can see it, too. The way you’re just so spent, body trembling beneath him as he continues to stimulate your rubbed out sweet spot.

“I am not like you, tahni. I only have three.” He chuckles softly, curling them inside you as a reminder.

“Ngh! Y-you know what I mean. I want you...” Your voice falters, hand reaching down to grab his erection, a little surprised that he’s still this hard. “I want this. Please.”

His features soften, apprehension filling his lower stomach just from the jaded look you’re throwing his way. “Are you sure? We can do it another time.” He insists, feeling how tight you still are, despite taking three of his fingers.

“No, please no.” You pant as you shake your head lethargically, shimmying your hips closer to his. “Need-you-to-fuck-me!” You cry out, stringing the desperate words together so quickly it almost sounds like one.

“Tahni.” He utters just over a whisper, staring down at you with eyes of concern. Not only can he see the exhaustion on your face, but he can feel it too. It travels in waves through the bond, right into him. And after such a long day, iknimaya and all, it’s expected. “It will be too much for you right now.”

“You said, ‘anything I please with’. Right?” A tremulous, soft voice reminds him of his deal, knowing he’s a man of his word, albeit few. He chews on his bottom lip, a little impressed with you. He heaves a heavy sigh of defeat, positioning himself between your clammy thighs as he hoists your legs over his.

“Tell me if it hurts. Okay?” He leans over you, using a thumb at the base of his cock to line it up with your entrance.

You nod lazily before tucking your chin to your chest to witness you become one. The crown of his cock prods at your tight opening, looking massive in comparison. For a second you even question yourself how that will fit inside you. It’s way bigger than his three fingers combined, not to mention, much, much lengthier.

It bucks against your innocence, slipping and gliding over your sticky clit. You both grunt in unison, tension snapping just to rebuild all over again. His hips snap back, all four fingers now gripping the base of his cock.

An unexpected wave of anxiety crashes through you, making you cling onto your mate. You bury your hot face into his shoulder, completely abandoning the plan to witness it strip you of your innocence. He can feel your hesitation through the bond, holding his position in case you change your mind.

“Do it, ma’ lak. Put it inside me.” You mumble quietly into the dip of his collarbone, inching your hips closer to his.

He pushes into you slowly, breaking past the resistance of your tightness, mushroomy tip liding in with an audible pop. You bite down onto his shoulder, hard enough to sink the full length of your canines into his cyan coloured skin, staining it red with his blood. It muffles your pained, little cry, tear drops crashing onto the swell of your cheeks.

Fuck, it hurts.

It hurts so much that it makes your body shake and shiver underneath him as it tries so desperately to adjust to his size. It burns and stings and oh – it’s just too much. It feels as if something were lodged between your joints, snapping you open with such force.

His movement comes to a standstill, as if he were frozen in time. He grimaces, unsure if its from the way you’re pinching him or if its from how deep your little canines are sunk into him. Or maybe it’s your pain transferring to him, but he feels it too.

“You okay? Feeling pain?” Ralak’s voice is tender, a gentle hand moving to release your bite.

You unlatch from his shoulder, leaving open puncture wounds for blood to trickle down his chest. The pain fades at a torturously slow rate, but any little movement causes a new wave of fire to shoot down your legs. Surely, just like with his fingers, if you stay here for a bit, it’ll fade completely.

“No. Haah. Just give a m-minute.” You pant out a lie, breath hitching at the last word.  

“Y/n. I can feel your pain.” He utters breathily, pulling out as gently as he can.

“Don’t. Please, I want this.” Your voice is breathy, yet strained, legs quickly locking around his hips to push him in a little deeper. You let out a sudden, high-pitched whimper, burning sensation worsening. Your legs begin to shake uncontrollably around him, sending little vibrations up his spine.

“You’re shaking. Another time.” Ralak says sternly, unhooking your legs from around his hips.

“No, please.” A pathetic little plea falls from your lips.

He shakes his head, grinding his teeth together to deal with the guild bubbling in his chest. “Your body isn’t ready.” He mutters, pulling out tenderly. The more he moves, the more the scent of blood fills the air. He can feel it trickling down his back, but it’s the least of his concerns right now.   

“I-I am ready. Please Lak, just give me a moment to –”

Ralak looks down as he pulls out, head snapping back up to reveal the panic etched into his features. “You – oh Eywa. You are bleeding, tahni.”

“It’s okay. I’m okay.” You coo with quivering lungs, cupping his cheek to make him look in your eyes. “Really. Look at me, Ralak.” You give him a wobbly smile, only for him to pull away from your grip.

“I am hurting you. Look.” Two fingers pinch your chin, pulling it down to avert your gaze. A thin layer of blood coats your inner thighs, some smearing on his too. Your eyes snap back up to his, which are glazed over with panic and guilt. He pulls out of you fully, sitting in the dip of his feet to have a proper look between your legs. “I am so sorry tahni... I-I thought I stretched you enough.”

“Lak...” You whisper shyly, trembling legs slowly closing to hide yourself from his eyes.

“We must go.” He declares, carefully scooping you up into his arms, holding you close to his chest as he makes his way out of the cave. Calling for his tsurak, he glances down at your face to see it screwed with discomfort. The guilt weighs heavy in his heart, driving him to act quickly.

So quickly that you don’t even realise that you’re already on the back of his tsurak, soaring at full speed through the water. You were truly fine, just a little sore and uncomfortable, but certainly nothing that required this level of speed. The ride back is uncomfortably quiet, Ralak trying his hardest to regulate his emotions. You can see the restrained look on his face, tightened brows, and thin lips.

“I’m alright, my love. You don’t have to go so quickly.” You try to reassure him with a small voice. He huffs a sigh in response, clenching and unclenching his jaw, biting back his feelings to focus on remedying the situation. “’ts not your fault.”

Eyes slamming shut, he shakes his head slightly, as if he were saying you were wrong. He holds you closer, opening his eyes to glance down at your blood-stained thighs. Eyelids fluttering, he looks back out into the distance, watching his marui pod appear larger and larger as he approaches it.

Within seconds he’s dismounted his skimwing, and takes large, quick strides to the cave. Your legs dangle over his forearm, other arm supporting your back as he carries you bridal style into the water. A shaky hand reaches for his kuru, holding it in the air to expose his pink, tendrils.

“Tsaheylu, Lak.” You groan needily, wrapping your tail around his thigh.

“Soon, tahni. Let me clean you first.” He hums tenderly, glancing down at your body one last time before slowly submerging you in the water.

The lake is always warmer in the nights, glowing around you from its bioluminescent properties. Supporting your back with one hand, he carefully parts your legs and cleans you gently. Your eyes remain locked onto his face, his clenching jaw, his flattened ears – the way the column of his throat protrudes when he swallows.

The guilt is evident on his face, and it worsens the more he looks at what he’s done to you. And when he moves down to the flesh between your legs, you can’t help but jolt, legs closing around his hands as you wince a little. His head whips towards you, worried eyes boring into yours. You give him a quick smile, nodding that he can continue.

Hand parting your legs once more, he ensures to be extra gentle and tender, even leaning in to see if he’s doing it right. After he’s finished, he bathes the rest of your body, rinsing the sweat and grime out of your hair after such a long night.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to –” You mutter, trying to stand so you can have your turn at bathing him.  

“No need.” He says quickly, scooping you back into his arms with ease, making his way up to his marui. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel fine, Lak. Honestly. You could’ve kept going, I just needed a moment.” You blubber out, trying to wriggle from his clutch.

He scoffs, shaking his head as he ducks under the flap to his marui. “You are like a baby.” He walks over to his bed and lays you down carefully, treating you as if you were really wounded. The leaves of your top stick to your breasts, wet and saturated from such a long bath.

“And you were about to fuck –” You mutter under your breath, to be cut off by Ralak’s glare. You let out a small sigh, a little frustrated from how the night played out. He walks towards a shelf on the opposite side of his marui, giving you the opportunity to sit up, and scoot over to the edge of the cot to get up.

His ears perk up from the shuffling sounds, but his back remains turned to you as he mutters the word. “Sit.”

Defeated, you plop back down onto the soft bedding, thumbs twiddling with one another as you wait for him to come back. Meanwhile he extends his arm to the top shelf, back muscles flexing as he retrieves two wooden drinking bowls and a bottle of liquid.

It’s mauve, and iridescent, swirling around as it sloshes from side to side. He pops it open with his back teeth, spitting the cork into a woven basket on the floor. He plans to cut it into two later, saving a piece each for your songchords.

Sitting next to you on the end of his cot, he hands you the wooden cup, nudging it closer to you with raised brows for you to take it from him. Reluctantly, you take it, a little confused as to what he’s giving you to drink. He pours the thick liquid into the cup, stopping after a few glugs. Then he pours himself one, too, waiting until the liquid touches the lip of his cup.

“Drink.” He orders, bringing his cup to his mouth as he waits for you to do the same.

Bringing it to your lips, your face screws with disgust, head turning away to get the smell out your face. You lower the cup into your lap, looking at him with an expression of perplexment.

How could he drink such a foul-smelling thing?

“Erm, no thanks... I’ll pass.” You barely get out, afraid to take a breath in.

His ears flatten in frustration, lip twitching ever so slightly. He knows this will help with the pain, so why are you being so stubborn? He doesn’t utter a single word, beady eyes piercing into yours.

“Okay. Okay. I’ll drink it... Eywa.” You say the great mother’s name like a curse, bringing the cup to your lip.

You take a sip, face contorts with revulsion, eyes watering as the liquid burns on the way down your throat. Your tongue darts out in repulsion as your eyes flicker up to him, brows raising inquisitively to ask if you drank enough.

His lips purse, and he shakes his head slightly. “All.”

You heave a sigh, rolling your eyes a little before bringing the cup back up to your lips once more. You feel a single finger rest under your hand, nudging it upwards to tilt the cup all the way back, encouraging you to take a swig. You knock it back, gulping down the viscous liquid and stick your tongue out for proof.

He nods in approval, slight smirk curling the side of his lips. He knocks his back in one go, letting out ‘ahh’ after the liquid travels down his throat. Not even a wince. He seems to enjoy the burn.

For you, the after taste is even worse, making your nose scrunch and the tears overflow from your eyes. He’s quick to wipe them away with his thumb, tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear before retracting his hand entirely.

“What did I just drink?” You croak, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.

“Fermented fruit. Pxir...” He looks at you, “Liquor.” Ralak takes the cup from you and refills it, as well as his.

Plunking it back into your hand, you look at him through pinched brows. “What does it do?”

He brings his to his wet lips, exhaling a sigh of guilt. “Pain. It will help with the pain.” He sighs, throwing his head back and swallowing the pxir in one, loud gulp.

Your features soften when you realize how he knows such a thing. “Is this what you had when you did your own tattoo?”

“Yes. Not the same. But the same effect.” He chuckles a little, impressed by your ability to put things together so quickly.

“Ah. I see.” You say, looking at the liquid as it swirls around in your cup. “So if I drink enough of this, you’d do my tattoo for me?”

“Sure.” He utters, fighting the little smile creeping on his face as he watches you chug the pxir. “But tomorrow. I have already caused you a great deal of pain today.”

Another sigh makes its way out your nose. You give up entirely, handing him the empty cup and laying down in the bed. Your bed. In your marui pod. Wondering, heavy eyes begin exploring the pod all on their own. It feels like the stilts holding the roof up are spinning, making you feel a bit woozy.

“Ralak. I feel weird.” You hiccup, heavy lidded eyes threatening to close for good. “All... bubbly.”

“Ah. My tahni.” He hums softly, sliding into bed next to you. “It will do that to you. Get some rest, okay?” He rakes his fingers through your hair, using his fingertips to massage your scalp.

“Lak. I want – I want to try again, doesn’t hurt anymore.” You blabber incoherently, trying to open your legs for him. Reminded of the pain that he brought you, Ralak shakes his head, closing your legs gently and covering you with the sheet. Snuggling into his warm chest, your eyes fall shut for the night.

“Another day.” Ralak whispers, planting a soft kiss on your forehead.

Unable to sleep, he spends the rest of the night swigging straight from the bottle, bathing, and checking up on you. You’d wake every so often to him parting your legs, checking to see if you were alright.

He thought nothing of it, just one of his duties as your mate to care for you. But you’d be quick to shove away his hand, mumbling to him not to look despite the coy smile on your face, all from knowing he cares that much.

When he finished the bottle, he was woozy enough to crawl back into bed with you and snuggle behind you. His eyes finally closing when the first rays of sunshine beam through the marui pod, the same rays that wake you up.

--

[mbat]

i literally read the book of bill days ago but its only now kinda hitting me how fucked ford and bills whole thing was though cause ford literally talks about being so unable to sleep (to try to keep bill away), and when sleep inevitably caught up to him, he would wake up to his body abused and things messed with and he just couldnt seem to find an escape (and he literally didnt get to truly escape until 30 years later)

(also keeping people awake for unhealthily long periods of time is another tactic used to mess with and control people because of how it impairs brain function)

listing off the things we see in those few pages in the book of bill:

i mean, punching and scratching at a steel door for hours would be so damaging to your hands and probably hurt like hell for at least 2 days after. then bill says he was hitting fords head against a wall, though its said in a post-it as if its a joke, but he also isnt exactly above doing that, and honestly he says most things like its a joke.

i also dont need to say 'bill really doesnt know how to take no for an answer' because he makes that very clear in literally any interaction we see with him.

bill literally puts a venomous snake near ford while fords asleep, which could have killed him if he wasnt lucky+skilled enough to deal with it.

he nearly gives ford hypothermia, and in the same action actively threatens ford with the idea of making him jump off of a high spot, and like ford says, doesnt do it just so he can send a message to ford about how hes the one in control.

he gets ford in trouble with not only the law, but also with other people that are probably not very happy with him after. he mutilates fords body in several ways, and i dont think i need to go into detail on them because theyre... so ew. and he even exposes part of fords body to the world. like, its just taking his shirt off, but thats still showing off his body in a way that he didnt agree to or want

and then he attempts to (or purposefully fails to) call stan, using fords voice to threaten suicide and tell stan that ford never loved him.

and he punctuates it with a final power move, in a hallucination that he creates, hes messing with stans memories and making him feel like his body was basically about to implode

and like. okay, we all joke about toxic old man yaoi, and its a good joke and toxic old man yaoi is great and its an interesting ship, but holy fuck.

like. to say the absolute least, that had to be so, so deeply violating. its no wonder that when we see ford in the past, when he finally contacts stan, he looks like hes on the verge of shattering into a million pieces. he just went through, and still wasnt yet out of, some deeply abusive shit.

like... everything coming out lately both in this book and what ive heard is on the website, mixed with what we already knew from the show itself... the stans are both so, so fucking tragic dude. their whole lives were thrown away over things that really didnt even need to be the way they were, and then they both get into situations that are pretty damn screwed, and those situations follow them for the rest of their lives. its basically a miracle that things worked out in the end for them.

i dont really have a point, i just had to talk about all that. i read almost all of the book of bill in one sitting, and while i was really enjoying it, i was also getting kind of tired of sitting in one spot only doing this one thing for several hours straight. i still felt a lot of the emotional bits of it of course, but man this part specifically just really didnt hit me until now.

i mean, to say the absolute least, i know what its like to feel violated in a similar way, though not anywhere near to the extent of what he went through at all. someone get that man some therapy got damn

[soudakuwunmoment]

i feel like theres smth to say about the relationship between dirk and hal compared to the relationship between dave and davesprite. like i dont know what, but theres parallels and differences that i think are interesting, and you could use them to come to some kind of interesting conclusion about the differences between dirk and dave

hal was created to be a tool for dirk to use for convenience and to utilize as an upperhand in sburb (multitasking mostly) hal did not want to exist as a tool. hal wanted to exist as the person using the tool but got the short end of the stick by pure chance and has to live with his actions after not having thought them through.

davesprite decided to become a tool for dave to use to have better chances at winning sburb. dont take this as me saying that davesprite enjoys being what he is. simply that he was prototyped by his own will.

hal is considered to be a false version of dirk. he is technically dirk, but he is different enough that dirks friends do not perceive him the same way, and in some cases, do not consider him their friend.

davesprite is considered to be a fake dave. not that anyone doubts the validity of his existence as Dave Strider; more-so that people consider dave to be "the real dave" and davesprite to be an iteration of him, despite them both being real daves who lived different lives.

dirk and hal have an antagonistic relationship. they accuse the other of being exactly the same, while sometimes switching to claiming they are the superior version - dirk for his existence in the physical plane and being The Original, and hal for his intelligence and capabilities as a digital being with access to any information he desires in an instant.

dave and davesprite have a very subtle relationship. we assume davesprite struggles with feeling inferior to the alpha timeline dave, but dave doesnt reflect those feelings. dave sees davesprite as simply another him, maybe since hes used to meeting other versions of himself. they are generally friendly to each other, davesprite offers dave any information he might need about the game without being cryptic, but dave doesnt really take the offer. other than this, they dont interact all that much.

dirk and hals relationship is somewhat of a fight for dominance, constant low-blows, social gymnastics and psychological warfare, which reflects the self-loathing nature of dirk and his splinters.

dave and davesprites relationship has similar themes of inferiority, jealousy, and being seen as the "real dave" but its much more constructive and dave seems eager to assure davesprite of his validity.

maybe its representation of how dirk and dave deal with.. emotions? trauma? something like that. dirk is defensive and lashes out at others who he sees himself in, while dave is empathetic and reaches out to other iterations of himself because he understands how they feel. im not saying either is better than the other, just interested in how their personalities have an impact on how they react to having themselves reflected back at them.

you could also add jade onto this!! i was really interested in how she was so cruel to a reflection of herself despite how nice she normally is, and how she was able to recognize that about herself. shes somewhat like dirk in that sense, but i think shes more... self aware than him? something like that.

this post was more meant to be about dirk and dave tho :3

[her-acts-of-cruelty]

huge rhrn spoilers!!

this is my review. :3

if you spot any mistakes, let me know! curious to see what other people thought

this is long btw... and broken into sections in no particular order.

1. marketing

i, like many other fans, saw the teaser dropped and assumed the movie wouldn't be out at least until the end of the year, as par the tradition with most movies. However, this isnt movies, in fact i think forge released this movie at the perfect time for a couple reasons. the first beingo that the release date was on Litha, also known as the summer solstice. the reason this is significant is that many ceremonies for this holiday include celebrations with large groups, something that RHRN provided. I felt like this really added to the aspect of attending a "ritual". another reason forge was quite smart for this is that the hype for people around the world to see what happened at the Kia Forum hadnt died down yet. this worked in his favour, considering this sudden drop brought up the attention again.

i really liked that they used Father Jim Defroque as a marketing tactic. Especially considering it connected festival goers at Download to feel connected with fans that weren't there. The use of Jim's posters at download was very fun too, and fitting they got vandalised due to non-ghost fans assuming it was a real priest. for me that added to the authenticity that he's a real person that is very serious about protesting this movie!!!

i also liked the experimentation going on, even if it doesnt go to plan (problems with the jim video drop), the fact that these new mediums are being tested out allows room to figure out kinks and try them again in the future. it added to the interactive element, and made me forget tobias existed, and that this was a very real band and there were very real things going on that i had to be weary of.

2. Music

One thing i did notice is the improvement in quality compared to their previous live album, Ceremony and Devotion. Obviously theres a big change in vocals, i was very surprised that Copia's vocals seemed a lot more high pitched than what i had remembered.

the easiest comparison i can make that's accessible to everyone right now here Rite Here Rite now's Absolution, and Ceremony and Devotion's Absolution. most notably for me was the backing vocals and the presence of this growling and sinister tone, that i really enjoyed. the overall quality is definitely there too, i'm not certain on the specifics but i know for a fact there was a very different set up this time around, compared to C&D.

if you have ghost live, was such a haunting moment. theres many little elements, the backing vocals, the gorgeous piano, and the incredible cello players had a huge part in making this version sound the way it did. the amount of passion and emotion here reflected the message of the song, there was a sense of unity that i felt really stood out.

Its also worth talking about The Future is a Foreign Land. oh my god i cried when i heard this for the first time. this song really encapsulates that sort of bond-esque era of music, undeniably it had that 60s ring to it. It did also remind me of Magna Carta Cartel (more so than subvision, i dont think subvision has quite the same sway as this specific song). i know some others have pointed this out and i'm glad.

from a story point, this song is really interesting. considering we previously had no context of how nihil responded following the events of kiss the go-goat, it was kind of cathartic to know that he did genuinly feel bad for his actions. more about this in the use of animation though.

For tobias forge, this song was really interesting. i felt like it was a bit too blatant having the mention of 2024, i guess it felt like it was implying that from that moment nihil knew that thqt was the year copia would take over as head of the clergy, or at least that seestor would die. which wouldnt make sense? i dont think? idk comments are on, share what you want.

3. Animation/mixed mediums

i wasnt sure how the animation element would tie in with the movie when i first saw it announced, but honestly i think this was the best way to do it. while i was a bit disappointed to see nothing new from liz fenning and justin andrews, the decision to lean into the comments of ghost making scooby doo music and using that artsyle was very fun.

i also felt like this was a time effective way of explaining the events post kiss the go-goat. seestor's idgaf attitude was amazing, im so glad that this didnt fall back on letting nihil get the girl in the end. characters dont have to get back together, and im glad they didnt. this felt more real and more personal, the two of them only sticking around to work and to make sure their children grew up to serve their duties.

the overlay during year zero was so fucking cool. i think its clips from swedish black comedy "Häxan" but i could be very very wrong. this made me very happy though, i wasnt expecting this and was a nice way to throw in some references to swedish media, especially one that also enjoys making fun of the fear around witchcraft and satanism,

4. the ghouls!!

suspiciously well behaved. did not expect that. i was a bit disappointed that we didnt see that much of them and that they were so well behaved??? what happened to my feral creatures???

as per usual, their perfomances were amazing. the backing vocals sent me to heaven, i think best example of this is during mary on a cross, or kaisarion. Seeing Phantom and Dew show off their silly skills was very fun, love me a man that can become a pretzel while he serenaded me with songs of satan. while i am upset that we lost Aether, im glad his replacement is bringing some silliness to his role and seeing his growth with the band had been really rewarding.

i will say cirrus's reaction to seestors death did get me. like damn. youre right this is sad. i think also seeing someone die is actually quite shocking, we dont really know much about seestors relationships with the ghouls so theres not a whole bunch i can add.

im so glad they werent unmasked, i feel like that would've ruined the mystery of what ghouls look like. and i mean not as performers but as fictional creatures. everyone has their own version, similar to how Vessel from Sleep Token keeps on his mask to allow the audience to project onto him.

hearing rain's voice scared the shit out of me. i forgot he knew how to do that.

5. the off stage segments

i am so glad this is how the movie was broken up. what comes to mind for me is copia and nihil in the box just before if you have ghost. this was a gut punch of a moment for me, for a deadbeat parent to just decide they want to be there all of a sudden, because your other parent is bothering you? i did appreciate that big drop of "oh yeah actually i had three songs oops anyway deep breaths loser youre on"

the sudden drop of something like that is insane, and nihil being so smug about it, knowing that he's been keeping that quiet for so long just aaaaaah. but also i get why it was kept quiet, considering how personal the Future is a Foreign Place is to him.

it was at this point i began to cry. and i did not stop crying at this movie, even past the credits.

i did love that there was like no real chemistry between copia and Ashley. like yes, she has a job to do, and copia is known for being useless around women. and also like, theyre co-workers, they dont need to have romantic relations. i liked that!!

i am going to jump to the ending. post encore after the hot air balloon scene. i will not be spending much time on this because my dumbass really believed that copia would just float away into space and thats the movie over.

seestor's death was so unexpected. but i think it made sense. i have mixed feeling about her, mainly the whole "lol yeah i told my 55 year old son i was his mum last month and now ive decided to parent" but thats mainly it. she has a job to do, and she does it well. shes also just the baddest bitch in the world.

i was crying at her dying. and then hearing Copia's pathetic cries had me choke at the emotional whiplash as my friend laughed at me. and i laughed at copia because what the fuck was that noise bro.

AND SHE DIED IN HER HEELS??? girl is serving cunt in the afterlife thats C-U-N-T spells CUNT

finding out copia has a twin (?) was also very shocking, id always assumed he was named Copia becauses hes a copy of his dad, not because like... hes one of two??

Post credits had the entire audience gagged. firstly, seeing copia out of his red tracksuit and wearing his fancy new suit that came with being promoted to Father Imperator (or frater imperator, as some have dubbed him which makes sense and is fair) had me yeowling like a cat being dragged to the vets. Tears were over by this point, i was so proud of him. and happy that forge didnt lie, copia dient die he just now is the real one in charge.

the does also shine a light on how papa doesnt actually have any power, he's just a pawn for the clergy (secondo spitting out im a marrionette??? hello??? he knew full well that he was never the one in charge which is insane. but also fitting for him as a person).

if you're still reading i am very impressed. heres where i put the conclusion;

in conclusion, for Forge's first movie, this was AMAZING. For a band that was originally meant to be scary, its nice seeing them be silly and lean into the things people joke about. they're self aware, and they're fun. i really hope there are future installments and that we get an expansion on the lore (tv show when???)

thank you for reading, here's to Papa V and making new memories!

[ladyiristheenchantress]

Working with Water

Welcome to the first part of my elemental series! Today we will explore some aspects of working with water like offerings, devotional activities, common lessons, aspects, and more! With all that said lets get started!

To preface: I am a devotee to water itself, I am a west witch practioner which means I work within the domain of water, the past, divination, and psyche! I also am a general elemental practioner and have experience working with all of the elements and their aspects!

What is working with water like?

The verified gnosis depends on what pantheon or historical significance we are looking at, however some things are constant! Water is fluid, represents motion and an unbridled force, but people can work with aspects of water! Water doesnt have a gender (neither do any of the elements) so asking during a working relationship is a great way to bond! Some people use she, he, they, and anything inbetween mainly because there are a lot of dynamics world wide!

In general, Water is primordial, being one of the first elements on the planet to house life as the primordial soup. In general her energy carries this! It has many aspects, from ocean, abyss, stream, river, and more, and spirits/traditions change depending on where you are looking! It mainly has to do with formations on the earth and how water presents to you!

Some people who work with more general bodies like streams, rivers, and lakes have a more relaxed time, learning more about how to go with the flow, tackle divination, and working with aspects of transcendence as many bodies of waters were considered to be portals. When it comes to larger and deeper bodies of water like ocean, abyss, and the primordial soup you will learn lessons more about the human condition, shadow work, and taking on the past.

Some things to note, waters personality is not set in stone, however elements are not omnipotent or omnipresent because they physically exist, its best to call on the energies of the elements before attempting to interact, and this also means they wont be around you all the time. Also, do not be suprised if an element isnt kind to you from the start. In a lot of cultures, elements dislike what we are doing to our planet and in general water may mention the plastic problem and pollution and encourage you to clean up our lands! Its important to remember that to the elements we are simply animals like any other bear, bird, or deer! Remember that you can learn a lot from a distance, so dont be offended if water would rather have you observe nature rather than directly give you answers via divination. UPG: In my experience water tends to be a portal, it is stoic, never saying 'i love you' or 'im proud' simply because it doesnt follow the human system of love. It is billions of years old and interestingly enough, water does rule over the psyche and past and is extremely emotionally intelligent, but has a preference in showing someone how to love themselves rather than giving out the term itself. It humanizes the element too much. Another aspect is even as a devotee it isnt heavy ritual work, a lot of it is introspection and action based!

A good thing to note is water does have a primordial “womb” aspect because of the Primordial soup! Most of the elements will have a birth aspect. On the contrary Water also has a death aspect within Abyss (the darker element) as it relates to death and the shadows. Working with these entities follows a similar feel to working with water itself, however the primordial soup teaches more about the human condition and what it means to evolve, while abyss teaches how to accept our darker flaws and translate them into good.

What are common offerings?

Most people place altars to water in wet rooms, bathrooms, and showers! Or at least near entrances and thresholds! Water tends to enjoy hand picked items, items from your adventures, and things you find interesting in your research. It tends to really enjoy having a set space.

There is heavy emphasis on action, and usually there are types of offerings! Net Positive, Net Negative, and Neutral! Positive offerings are anything that benefits the water ways which include beach clean ups, enjoying the water with reef safe sun screen, and creating a floating fish feeder! Neutral offerings refer to offerings that neither help nor harm water ways mainly is taking things home and charging them in moon light or on an altar then bringing them back, introducing native florals or herbs to a water way, or creating a biodegradable floating offering. Practicing at home in your shower or with drinking water usually is neutral or even positive. Net Negative are any offerings that negatively impact waterways like introducing salt from an offering, floating non-native florals and herbs, adding crystals to the environment.

Its important that you are aware of the offerings you introduce into your area, research is the key, and if you cant and still want to honor water look into how to conserve water in your own home like creating moon water from potable water, creating potions and other things in a respectful manner, and practicing safely

Some common practices include visiting local water spots, clean ups, potion crafting, collecting waters like moon or rain, meditating during water moments like during rain, cleaning up your bathroom or mudroom, enjoying shower and bathing magic, using steam, and so much more!

What are some correspondences?

Crystals - aquamarine, Ethically sourced coral, turquoise, sapphire, sodalite, lapis lazuli, blue topaz, moonstone, Brass

Herbs - seaweed, seamoss, jasmine, aloe, lily, mugwort, cucumber, rose, catnip, belladonna, willow, lotus, nettle

Colors - Blue, white, navy

Energy Centers - Throat, Crown, Witches Eye

Zodiacs - Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Tools - Chalices, Bells, dowsing rods, Tarot Cards

Scents - Sweet, Oceanic, citrus, Salty

Resources:

https://www.tumblr.com/a-seas-song/151886812943/sea-magic-references?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/a-seas-song/151843326843/recreationalwitchcraft-witchcrafts-for-the-sea

https://www.moodymoons.com/2020/07/01/sea-witch-harnessing-the-power-of-the-ocean-2/

https://tropical-sea-witch.tumblr.com/post/641611893093613568/charm-bags-sea-witch-style

https://a-seas-song.tumblr.com/post/171029487233/animals-in-sea-witchcraft

https://a-seas-song.tumblr.com/post/171024318373/songs-in-sea-witchcraft

https://www.tumblr.com/a-seas-song/151886878168/tips-for-landlocked-sea-witches?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/a-seas-song/151886793018/wretched-waters-working-with-the-tides-tides

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/waterwitch/

http://www.waterwitchcraft.com/about

https://www.flyingthehedge.com/2020/02/water-folklore-correspondences.html

https://www.flyingthehedge.com/2020/04/tools-of-water.html

https://healing-sun-witch.tumblr.com/post/183508828289/sea-witch-cleansing-use-sea-salt-and-salt-water

https://www.moodymoons.com/2018/03/06/sea-witch-jar-spell/

https://northernlightswicca.com/2020/08/31/methods-of-divination-water-gazing/

https://www.lenntech.com/water-mythology.htm

Tip Jar

[anthroposeen]

tmagp 22 relisten notes

tmagp 22 spoilers below the cut! proceed with caution! this is a longer one!

scene:

this is a continuation of the night of episode 20 and 21, judged by gwen and lena's conversation and sam's confrontation of alice

celia:

- she repeatedly throws hooks at sam to get him more interested in the magnus institute, the opposite of alice's approach to this. rather than encouraging ignorance, celia pushes sam towards curiosity.

- "i might have come across some important names ... jonathan sims and martin blackwood." girl you literally met them! aside from the obvious implications (that celia is from the TMA universe and is referring to the people she met in that dimension) she could also be referring to the tmagp-verse jon and martin. so far, we dont know anything about them, so they coukd have been involved with the institute (though this may be unlikely, considering their ages would be different to that of tma)

sam:

- he noticed that someone edited his caseload, and confronts alice about it

- "youre trying to control me, again" -> interesting because it gives us insight to their past relationship, and why they might have broken up

- "im done trying to placate a jealous ex" sam seems to be interpreting alice's actions as purely made out of controlling and jealousy. from his perspective, she cant get over him, and has been disrupting his work to regain a place in his life.

- sam is a person whos been heavily controlled in his past, we know that his parents shaped his education and career paths and we can infer that his relationship w alice ended poorly bc of her controlling behaviors. it makes sense that hes not willing to sacrifice freedom once he has it

- "im in. all the way.", this is the first time since the series started that sam has thrown himself fully into this investigation. every other time he was confronted with it, he would claim to be moving on or uninterested. but now, hes accepting that hes involved with it.

alice:

- she admits to sam that she edited his caseload, and that she believes the computer is intentionally giving him cases related to the magnus institute

- she says that shes stuck around the OIAR because its easy money if you can ignore the bad qualities, and she enjoys having the seniority. shes been the only steady employee for a long time, and has the most experience, so she has a place of value in this job and she enjoys that trust and authority. she thought that by training sam, she could teach him how to ignore the creepy stuff like her, and she would be less alone

- she also comes off as upset that sam is choosing to continue his investigation with celia, both ignoring alice's advice and choosing celia over her

lena:

- she appears upset that gwen ran away from both ink5oul and [error]. she refers to [error] as "the watching figure", but thats based on gwen's description of the entity. i dont think lena actually knows about the entity (after all, its very new to the scene), she was just using gwen's description as its title for now

- "you didnt get any contact details from them?" this referring to [error], not ink5oul, further showing that lena isn't familiar with them

- gwen's behavior has convinced lena that she cant be trusted to interact with the externals and keep the situation calm. so far, she's been prone to instigating more conflict with them and has now actually harmed a civilian in the process (the man that ink5oul ripped apart).

- she claims that she doesnt want gwen to die, but her death would be simpler to manage than a dead bystander and 2 "uncontrolled" externals. here, she refers to both ink5oul and [error] as externals, despite them not working for the OIAR. this might be the tmagp-verse equivalent of avatars. she also puts emphasis on them being uncontrolled, implying that under the management of the OIAR, externals exhibit different behaviors, or are less likely to be disruptive. (im betting that externals without management are more likely to tip the balance of things)

- she doesnt seem concerned about gwen's blackmail, so either gwen doesnt have that evidence anymore, or lena doesnt think that gwen will go through with her threat

- she removes gwen from her duties as externals liaison, but allows her to still have the title, but also offere her the opportunity to quit. this is the first time quitting is brought up in this episode, still under the guise that it is possible, yet gwen denies the offer.

- references a "ministerial visit", so we'll finally be meeting lena's boss, potentially the man who colin would mention (the man who wants the OIAR to have a functional app, and colin suspects him of also supervising them)

- lena is married! (to me)

gwen:

- "i see what you're doing. you wont get rid of me that easily." she seems dead set on holding on to this position despite hating it and continuously complaining about it. i dont think she cares about the work that they do, shes moreso focused on climbing the ranks to earn respect, and not having respect from the externals or lena is deeply upsetting her

- instead of fighting harder to keep her role, gwen accepts her demotion (though she seems upset about it) and goes so far as to almost be polite to lena, "of course, mrs. kelley" after this interaction it feels like gwen might be intimidated by lena

incident:

narrated by augustus at sam's terminal

- letter from dr. berger detailing the results and descriptions of his recent experiments with the human mind and consciousness

- he was experimenting on a man with a skull deformity, which allowed him to measure pressure, cognition, and electricity shifts within the brain. he was inserting wires directly into the man's skull to take measurements

- after feedback from a fellow dr, he switched to using silver wires in the subject's skull. he measured the electrical output of the subject and received encouraging results.

- dr. berger read on the concept of the hemispherical bridge and the center of self, a collection of fibres near the middle of the grain, which can separate the left and right sphere and create differing consciousness within one body

- he inserted the silver wires directly into the subject's brain, positioned to find the hemispherical bridge.

- the subject was asked questions about himself, such as who he was and what he wants. this disrupted the normal electrical readings, though the subject seemed undisturbed.

- dr. berger experiences a dream where below him is a deep ocean full of "dark secrets", where above him flew radio signals that were "unknowable". he laments that these two things will never meet, emphasizing a separation and balance in their natures

- the dr created a new device to read the electrical signals from the subject's brain, which resulted in the telegraph mechanism clicking. each time he asked a question, the clicking would increase, though his verbal answers didn't change.

- while he was playing with the telegraph waiting for the rest of the equipment to be set up, he started asking the questions again. this time, there was a pause of silence before the clicking began again. the clicking responses increased in intensity

- his wife and assistant, ursula, dropped equipment and looked scared, asking if he could hear 'the sound'

- after this, the subject began to seize and scream in agony as the telegraph increased in intensity. the moment the subject died, the telegraph stopped

- upon reviewing the tapes and records of his experiment, discovering the ominous answers of the subjects split consciousness

- upon asking what the subject wants, it says "help, need, help out, we out" and as this response continues, augustus's narration rises in intensity.

glitches/lies:

- "its probably the horrendous porn you've been downloading." - alice, lying to sam about why his computer must be messed up

- "i can look after myself." -sam

extra comments:

- the biggest takeaway from this episode for me, is that jmj are likely conscious inside of the computer system, and are experiencing this consciousness in a disjointed and painful way. they seem to be speaking to the OIAR employees and audience with the answers to dr. berger's questions, pleading to be helped and let out.

- this statement also goes to support a small theory im working on, that most of the incidents we've heard pertain to balance and separation of self. excepting the incidents that resemble tma statements or provide character information, many of the cases we've heard revolve around forces finding balance or there being a separation of forces at play. i think this will tie in to the grand ritual that the magnus institute attempted, and how the ties to alchemy will be expressed, since finding balance seems to be the center of many operations within the tmagp universe.

- i fear that im biased, since ive kinda disliked celia from the beginning (and i do mean the very beginning, i never liked lynne hammond) but i feel like she's intentionally dragging sam into the investigation without considering if thats beneficial for him. and i dont trust her motives. i dont think this makes her evil or an unsympathetic character- shes been put into a very complicated situation where there likely isnt a simple good solution. but i dont trust her to be involving sam for any 'good' reasons, especially since we know shes hiding information from both him and the audience (im not referring to her being from a differebt universe, i mean that she knows more about the institute and alchemy than shes letting on).

- i think that the ministerial visit that lena references will be the major event in the season finale. it would make sense for there to be an incident during the visit that results in some sort of conflict (im betting that it will involve either colin interfering with the computers, an external that has poor relations with the OIAR (ink5oul, [error]), or gwen's blackmail coming to fruition)

- i also think that we may see/meet tmagp-verse jon and martin before the season ends (assuming they're alive), this would normally feel rushed, but this series has been decently fast paced in terms of revealing leads, so we may be getting a tease for that

[theyamjam]

So I heard you like Alvin and the chipmunks, care to share?

aagrhh yeah i like alvin and the chipmunks :o]]]

I LIKED IT FOR A WHILE OK. i grew up with the live action movies as a child which was a bigbig hyperfixation back then my dad put a bunch of nightcore songs on a cd and called it a chipmunk cd and gifted it to me for my 7th birthday

aboutt 1 or 2 years ago i got back into it and learned more about old chipmunk media. Ross Bagdasarian sr. made the original franchise which started out as just using a voice changer for some of his songs, n that gradually turned into inventing the chipmunks and making comics and puppet shows and stuff w them!! AND the famous Alvin Show which has this very simplistic and charming style that i like a lot! very very shaped (also THEODORE USED 2 BE TALLER THAN ALVIN BACK THEN.ISNT THAT ODD ALVIN WAS THE SMALLEST ONE)

then when ross bagdasarian died, his son Ross Bagdasarian JR. took over and he had to elevate whatever the original chipmunks were somehow. soo his first project was the tv special A Chipmunk Christmas!

BTW THE CONCEPT ART WAS DONE BY CHUCK JONES THE LOONEY TUNES GUY WHICH I THINK IS SO COOL & FITTING. this is probably my fav style the chipmunks have ever been in and i would really really like being able to make art as charming as this

BUT it wasnt until the 1983 Alvin and the Chipmunks show came out that the chipmunks reallly got their personality set in stone. in the original alvin show, alvin was the funny guy and the other 2 chipmunks were just kinda.. there. maybe simon had that thing a lot of smart characters had back then where they just use a bunch of intelligent sounding words? but outside of that he was pretty plain. same w poor theodore</3

POINT IS it wasnt until Alvin and the Chipmunks that simon turned into the sarcastic little prick and theodore was the sweet gullible little guy. ALSO THE CHIPETTES GOT INTRODUCED!!!! I LOVE THE CHIPETTES AUUGH i love that even though theyre designed to be counterparts to the guy characters and they share a lot of personality traits, they still have obviously different personalities from them. britney is a diva, jeanette- while smart- is very absentminded and distracted and eleanor is honestly a lot more ambitious/assertive in wanting to do good! also their designs are so so pretty!! kinda sucks that they get all the stylish outfits while the chipmunks have to wear their stupid little socks but whatever. both groups' designs are vv cool respectively

there were a few animated movies there was A Chipmunk Adventure which ofc everyone remembers fondly.. there was the time they met frankenstein's monster and became friends with him and there was a special where theodore became a werewolf??

there was the weird fever dream-ish movie from 2004 where they were all babies and puppets and even though they look very creepy the special was still pretty wholesome w cute messages! probably wouldve enjoyed it as a child

THEN came the live action movies and looking back at them they were a little unfaithful towards the rest of the franchise but i still liked it because i grew up with it !!!

annd then a little while later came the ALVINNN!!! And the Chipmunks tv show AND A LOT OF PEOPLE DONT LIKE IT BECAUSE ITS UGLY AND. I UNDERSTAND OK. IT DOESNT LOOK PLEASANT AT ALL BUT its still a lot of fun to watch because it has the same writers behind it as the 1980s show! i think some of the jokes are even better coz ross bagdasarian jr has known them for so long and u cna kinda see how hes made these characters his own :o] also some of his OWN children are voicing a few characters now which is also really cool!!!! coz previously to this it was only him and his wife who did the chipmunk voices.

IDK ITS JUST really cool to see these little guys and how they developed over time n how they interact with each other! i made a whoole bunch of fanart of it back in the day. this was also back when i was figuring out my gender so i threw a bunch of gender headcanons onto all of the chipmunks. simon is agender alvin is transmasc theodore is transfem canon because 17 yr old me said so. you agree

[muzanswaifu]

Ive seen a lot of people confuse me leaving for “people being mean to writers” or getting hate for the things i write of how i write them but its not

But Im not leaving just bc of the audience, i can handle some hate and honestly it was kinda fun from them bc ik that hate comes from jealousy and trolling

Im leaving because of other writers and my “friends”

Ik i said i would get into it and i really dont want to all that much bcuz im tired and just wanna be done with this but it feels wrong to leave under a false assumption and let people think their actions dont have consequences

Ive dealt with a lot from my peers on here, back talking, hating, straight up bullying, and i just cant anymore

I cant deal with drama irl AND on the internet, bcuz at the end of the day i can just delete everything on here and be done with it all so thats wat im gonna do

Tbh this has been building up for a while, i can only handle so much from “friends” and irl i cut people off pretty quick and on here should be no exception but ive fucked up and let people do watever too long and its bitten me in the ass

Yes ik im dramatic lol, ive gotten that a lot and a lot of people hate me for, a lot of people love me for it, its how i am and it keeps things interesting. I get it, i like to make a lot of call out posts. Y? Bc people deserve to be called out and idgaf ab appearances on here. If someone did something bad, im gonna call them out bc last i checked its my blog and i can do wat i want. If u wouldnt do it, thats fine, its ur decision, and this is mine

Yes, i dont post a lot, I. Am. Busy. I have work. I have school. I have a social life. I cant write smut all the time even tho i want to, and at the end of the day, its not my job to write smut all day so people can read it and move on. I like to interact with yall, its fun, i like to talk to a lot of different people on her since my irl friends arent really into anime. Apparently people think im a loser for that? Ok? Sorry i like to talk to people on the internet when im bored instead of producing smut all day for people to read, ig i shouldve remembered im only on here to provide content since i dont deserve to have some fun, my mistake

Requests? Requests r a generosity. So many of my requesters have been absolute angels with being patient in receiving their requests, happy to just see me writing or interacting at all. Others have hounded me regularly telling me im lazy and selfish for not completing my requests, saying im an asshole for not completing them over my own projects bc “they asked first”. LMAO, U WRITE IT THEN???? i dont owe anything to anyone, certainly not someone who comes here solely to read my fics, not even leaving any interaction or encouragement whatsoever, then leave.

The icing on the cake? The tip of the iceburg? Discord of all places. Im sorry some of u didnt enjoy my server, i really am. Ive never used discord before and me and the mods did the best we could and im sorry i couldnt be as attentive to it due to my busy schedule

Im sorry i couldnt get there in time to stop conflicts or just straight up call people out, and im sorry someone had to make another server since they didnt like how i was handling mine bc i didnt take their side in a fight that THEY WERE WRONG IN? But i tried to be nice, tried to defend her and nicely explain y she was she cant say anything they want in any situation bc people get hurt. but it didnt matter. Y? Bc apparently i cant tell people what they can and cant say…

And that made me realize something! Theyre right! Theyre absolutely right and im so stupid for not seeing it until now! I cant stop people from saying things to me. I cant stop people from talking shit ab me. I cant stop people from even saying things on my own blog and server! I just cant. Bcuz in the end, people r gonna say what they want and do what they want bc people dont wanna learn. They dont wanna talk. They dont wanna hear ab how what they do or say affects others. They just wanna do what the want when the want, and they wanna be allowed to, bc fuck everybody else. Everybody is the victim in their own story, and i deserve to be the victim in mine.

And what would a victim do in this situation?

Leave.

[uroboros-if]

seeing your rant about how difficult it is to be somewhat rude without ruining your relationships in ifs WAS SO RELATABLE! It doesn’t feel real to be always good or nice to characters to be liked

I’m not saying you should be able beat them up and still romance without consequences but romance/relationships aren’t always perfect and peaceful!!! Disagreements/arguments should be something that can happen without it being at the cost of the relationship itself ugh because that’s normal come on >:| as an angst enjoyer, its so hard to have fun without the character being like “you dont agree with me? perish then”

so I’m even more excited for the game now that I saw your take on it because LETS GO!!!!!! <3

You succinctly explained what I struggled to! 😭

I will confess it's half self-indulgent, because I really enjoy relationships where the two must confront their conflicting ideals! I understand most seek other like-minded people, but what of characters who like to be challenged? Characters who can't help but be attached to someone they shouldn't be?

Even setting that aside, you are completely correct! As long as that topic isn't sensitive to someone and neither party is inflexible, people won't automatically like you less.

So not only does such an approval system lose out on angst potential, sometimes it's also unrealistic. There is truth in it as our opinions of others do adjust based on their actions, and those things add up! However, it's a problem when it's applied to even arbitrary choices, or it unnecessarily severely impacts your approval.

Under the read more is my "theory" on why some ROs in IFs are defined by a dynamic trope (rivals to lovers, childhood friends to lovers, etc)!! 💕

It is difficult, if not impossible for a numerical approval system to qualitatively judge your relationship dynamics; it can only judge based on the weight of each choice. It can't, for example, see you've transitioned from being rude, to softening up to the character after realizing they're not so bad. The game only sees the sum of all your negative and positive points.

Without a way to label your actions by anything but a number, a system that purely relies on numerics is incapable of interpreting the dynamics of your relationship, and therefore customizing future interactions with the RO.

Of course, I think most IFs don't purely rely on numbers. Some do a hybrid in which important decisions are tracked qualitatively and lesser ones are tracked numerically. However, even then, some romance is limited by a baseline approval you must achieve in a certain timeframe, and that leads to pressure to meet that mystery number.

Furthermore, these qualitative "important decisions" often have more to do with the plot than how it defines your relationship specifically -- things like "did you kill their father?" rather than "What were their first impressions of the MC?"

So I believe that without a way to interpret the MC's actions meaningfully, there's only one way to play a romance route. There's only one dynamic with that character, one way the relationship can really be. You can be different genders, have your relationship contextualized differently as the story changes from your actions, but rarely does it dramatically differ solely on personality. Rarely does it examine how your relationship varies from the different ways you interact with that character.

I think it's fine that some characters are like that! In fact, it's realistic that some dynamics don't suit certain characters. For example, it's not possible to have rivals to lovers with Salvatore, because they have no reason to see you as a rival, even if you hate them or try to compete with them.

However, taking Sal as an example, your relationship can vary widely by your attitude towards them. It can be a case of friends who lost touch and regret having lost touch; it can be one-sided, as Sal may view MC as a friend, but the MC is bitterly jealous of them. Perhaps MC doesn't think much of them at all.

That's the kind of meaningful interpretation of relationships I aim for--different dynamics rather than boxing in Sal as the typical childhood friends to lovers. There is no one way to play their romance; it should change as the MC is different.

I see how it's not for everyone, and I acknowledge that it is a Herculean task that may, in time, reveal the full extent of its complexity. But I strive for it because such a complicated relationship is central to the conflict of Uroboros. There is nothing more important an undertaking than character relationships in the IF.

Extremely long theory and rambling, but I am so happy someone shares my thoughts, at least as far as disagreements with the ROs!! ❤️❤️ Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to share even more of my opinion, Anon! I'm thrilled you are so excited for the story!

[coffinbrotherr]

Istg I keep seeing videos in my recommend that have either Andrew or Ashley sprites in the thumbnail and it's always in the lines of "shock storytelling is BAD" or "this needs to STOP" (I'm not providing examples as to not install a witchhunt but if youve seen them, you know EXACTLY who im talking about.) and I dont...I don't get why? Like, ok genuinely I'm having an actual hard time understanding why because being disturbed and being made uncomfortable is quite literally the definition of horror, so why is it a problem now.

To I guess throw my hat into the ring, I'd like to explain why i personally think incest integral to Tcoaal not only because I'm just fucking tired of seeing people not like the game just because of that aspect and I'm not knocking those people because of it because people can not like things for specific reasons, for example I am not one for horror involving teeth or the mouth so I tend to ignore horror media that prominently use those as setpieces. I'm mainly talking about people that bash it without actually playing it and people that see it at surface level and just make a Baseless assumption because to me and obviously a lot of other people as it still has great reviews, Tcoaal is wonderfully written and that IS thanks to its incest themes.

We see that throughout the game, Ashley obviously loves her brother, not only in the romantic sense but also in the power dynamic. While some aspects have yet to be revealed about thier relationship as we still only have two chapters, Ashley obviously manipulates Andrew and has since they were little as evident by the hide and seek flashback. It's incredibly obvious that Ashley likes control over people and since she doesn't really have anyone else that's closer to her, she uses Andrew exclusively as he's always been there with her figuratively and literally. While this behavior definitely comes from a sense of loneliness and fear of losing the one person that tolerates her as not even thier own parents wanted to stay around them let alone her, I think it also comes down to enjoying the control. Genuinely think about the story of the game for a sec, could you imagine being in that exact situation we see the siblings in. The closest thing we can even relate it to is covid, and we could at least still leave the house to an extent and have things sent to us that we wanted. Imagine going through all that not being able to leave, literally having the bare minimum of food being dropped off to you and being FORCED to stay inside not with a slap on the wrist but with active threats of death even though you know other people get to freely live outside peacefully. Not only is that terrifying but it gives a lot more insight to Ashley's character as she's literally stuck in a place she cannot control in an unfounded situation that is positively awful, but she does have one thing she can control, she has one person she can make exclusively hers and make him do whatever she wants through manipulation and the connection with love. The same goes for Andrew as we know Andrew was at least a bit more popular with people to the point where he even had a girlfriend (Julia) and to have literally all that stripped away from him is tragic, however for him there's one more person he can interact with, one person that cares about him and truly does love him in a way only they can share. It's a beautifully horrific way of telling a story because on the outside, it just looks like "oh hah hah, that's the incest cannibalism game" but if you actually played it you would see not only is the writing genuinely funny but also incredibly smart with its subtle meaning and player interpretation. It's NOT glorifying incest, it is actively showing an incredibly toxic relationship that was made through the circumstances and actions taken with both characters and to say it's just "shock storytelling" or "it's just trying to glorify incest" is just wrong, it's using the incest to further the narrative and that's why I personally find this game to be my favorite work of horror.

But that was just my interpretation, I'd love to hear your guy's views on it because I'd love to further the discussion and potentially add to my analysis as this was just something I wrote at 12:30 AM in bed. I could go on and on about my personal analysis but a lot of it would just be me being genuinely pretty annoyed with the games detractors and overall just make for a poor reading experience.

[antiv3nom]

Bedman (Romeo)

omg havent had an excuse to talk abt bedman in a hot minute thank u anon...

favorite thing about them:

i love the tragedy of his story arc... that feels like a weird thing to say but its the first thing that came to mind! just. look. the road to hell paved with good intentions bit taken to the extreme really works here!!! the idea that he remembered the name of every person he ever killed because he was under the impression he could bring them all back, only to have the rug pulled from under him? hurts me! in the best way!!!

other than that i do enjoy his design, both romeo himself and the bed :] i wanna give my bedman cosplay another try sometime for sure, it didnt work out for various reasons but i have most of the components and would enjoy cosplaying him fr in the future

least favorite thing about them:

i think i dont really dislike anything about the way bedman is written in the source material strongly enough to point it out here? i think my main gripe is the way the fandom treats him to either extreme, like theres "bedman did nothing wrong ever" people and "bedman is horrific" people and i wish both camps would chill out and recognize hes like. a complex character? but i do think most people do this already which i can appreciate

favorite line:

im a little obsessed w his win line against may in xrd

"I do not understand humans who are motivated by love. A person is born, lives for a number of years, and interacts with up to eight billion people. What proof is there of something they can't even define?"

bc like. buddy. you dont even realize it. YOURE driven by love. all this shit wasnt just for yourself but it was for delilah too!!! fuck!!! you dont even see it as love you see it as necessary because shes that important to you!!! and dont even get me STARTED on the bed in strive and how its still running because of his last minute code additions which almost act as the last part of his will to protect delilah. GAHHHH

brOTP:

BEDMAN AND AXL INTERACTIONS. PLEASE. PLEASE. their dynamic is so interesting as characters with such fascinating ways of interacting with the world...gah. GAH. and no one fucking talks about it!!!

OTP:

sinbed. must i wlabo.

ok but i will, im not as into them as i was like a year ago but i still do really enjoy their dynamic. sin being such a beacon of hope and being so willing to see people as good contrasted with a post-xrd living bedman (bc all my sinbed stuff exists within au but im having fun out here so sue me) seeing himself as inherently evil due to his actions despite his intentions and believing no one would ever care for him? it hits for me

nOTP:

i dont know of anything off the top of my head that ive seen for him??? nothing prevalent at least.

actually on second thought i think ive seen like one instance of bedman and ram in a romantic sense, and that im not a fan of but i guess i could see the appeal, just not my thing

random headcanon:

this motherfucker would have gotten heated in some internet forums or wiki talk pages, DEDICATED to accuracy out here and he WILL fight you about it

unpopular opinion:

not entirely certain i have one? i think the "bedman while flawed is not actually a terrible person and was doing his best given his extremely fucked up circumstances" is a pretty cool take by this point for most people

i think the only thing i have is that my interpretation of bedman has always been as like a young adult rather than a kid but like i dont really have a concrete opinion on that and i totally understand people who do see him as a kid like its entirely understandable to do so

song i associate with them:

other than his character themes, its GOTTA be dramaturgy by eve, which just. it gives the vibes. read the english lyrics it will make sense i prommy

favorite image of them:

THE EEPER...

OTHER than this one its more an animation but his 6p in xrd is so silly i love it so bad...and for a more serious option his instant kill is really cool

[woahpinkhorsegirl]

Hi mlp tumblr and bluey tumblr! Im Pink! Im hoping to share my stuff on here and discover other stuff!

This is my sona! She's a changeling but stays in her pony form almost all the time, just her preference :)

Im gonna start posting OCs and whatnot for both fandoms soon, but i wanna put here the list of Deviantart basemakers i used from at various points, mostly early on when i forgot to credit them. Hopefully I'll make new refs eventually and they'll have proper credits.

I have a huge MLP and Bluey next gen thing to post too so either look forward to that or check it out if its out by the time you read this!

Other information about me, if you'd like to know:

I am 19 years old, white, American, and ace bi. I'm a ciswoman but I go by all pronouns, she/he/they/it and neopronouns are all acceptable, whatever you see fit or comfortable to call me!

Trans people of all kinds are welcome on my profile, alongside queer people in general! I am pr0-choice and pr0-p4lestine, I don't talk about my p0litical stances much but those are the two most important i can think to mention.

Disabled people, with both invisible and visible disabilities, are also welcome (these feel obvious but I've seen people who make it feel necessary)

Non-white people are also welcome (again, unfortunate that I feel the need to clarify that, but I use twitter so :/)

I also saw a random post about this but just in case, anyone with coping mechanisms (like age regression) are also welcome. I won't judge you for doing what you need to do.

If i look like im censoring some words by using numbers or symbols, that's a force of habit. I don't like appearing in search terms unless I actively want to, it usually invites the wrong people, so i "censor" terms that I think might draw the attention of bad apples.

Uh just some boundary stuff I guess? I love OC interaction and I also enjoy RP. I don't like giving my discord to people so any of that is gonna have to happen here. If that's inconvenient or not gonna cut it, then my apologies :(

Uh my rules for RP are a tiny bit strict but not in the way your probably thinking.

Im one of those "planning ahead" type of roleplayers who like to map out a scenario and key events before we begin and occasionally take pauses between major scenes to plot elements of the future. If you can handle that, then I'd say your golden! Im not picky with the length or detail in responses, as long as theres something to work with, I can usually move things along. The only other restriction i can think of is: when it comes to the sexualities of my characters, please respect them. Thats really it :)

I do platonic roleplays, adventure, romantic, and slice of life. I'm not much for action stuff unless its the spice thrown into the other types occasionally. I'm pretty flexible though, so we can talk about it individually if need be.

Oh, and no nsfw RP. I dont do s3x, and im not much for depicting "elicit substances" to put it lightly. Alc0hol might be the only exception, if its kept in small doses. If for some strange reason our characters end up in a s3xual scenario, we're skipping to the aftermath.

Edit: Some of my OCs have romantic interests made/owned by my boyfriend. This element can be removed for romance roleplays if need be (although they will still be with his OCs outside of the roleplay)

So yeah uhm I think thats it! Im not sure if you can edit things on Tumblr but if you can then I guess I'll update this as needed! Thanks for checking out my blog!!

[askew-d]

Hello...Have you watched Haikyuu movies? It's great....And we got lots of Kuroken moments and "that"one Kagehina moment.... So, as Kagehina shipper, have you ever ship Hinata or Kageyama with other character? For me, I have read Kageyama with Oikawa fic (I enjoy it but not really into that ship, all the time thinking of Iwaoi) and Hinata with Atsumu fic (one of my friend love that ship, wrote a fic and asked me to read them). And as much as they're all good, my otp will always be Kagehina. Like they were made for each other and it has to be them...

Do you also have other ships that you love from MDZS and TGCF? Sorry, if you asked me this, I have at least 8 ships in total from those two series, all of them are non canon (Xuexiao, Xiyao, Zhuiling, Beafleaf, Fengqing, Quanyin, Peihuang, Xuyue)....

Sorry for this random and long ask, hope you don't mind....

hello, anon!! sorry i am late for this, hope you understand. life has been crazy, haha. anyway, let us go: i did watch the haikyuu films and recently in was at the cinema with a friend watching the dumpster battle, let me tell you i was OVERJOYED!!! heavens, i could not control my anxiety. though my friend also likes the anime, she isnt as obsessed as me and didnt even finish the last season when we talked about watching the brand new release, so i had the OUTSTANDING experience of rewatching it with her so we could buy the tickets after!! i lost count of how many times i watched it and how many times i made other friends try it out (at some point, i recommended it to even one of my students during a totally unrelated discourse, hahahaha, hope he shares his opinions once this winter break finishes).

since i watched haikyuu about... five years ago? i must have rewatched some seasons more than ten times. its my comfort show! love every film also. about the ships, kagehina is my endgame, but i definitely love kuroken, iwaoi, bokuaka and sakuatsu (though i consume kagehina content much more). of course every ship is valid, i cannot judge anyone, however, i personally cant see hinata or kageyama with anyone else and do not read stories too focused on other relationships :) i can comprehend why fans see something with oikawa and kageyama, or even oikawa and hinata (considering their interaction in rio), but i do not settle with it in my heart. its just profiles and options, anyway! dont mind, dont mind.

i agree with you. for me, they are soulmates through and through. perfect for each other. one is the promise, the other is the anchor. they might be one of the couples i have seen anywhere that matches each other's vibe the best.

about mxtxt works, my favorite side ships are moshang and beefleaf. i can see the appeals in each one you mentioned, but i just never quite got interested to the point of reading about it, sorry!! some of them maybe its because they did not have a finale extra shot, or at least they were not as spoken/seen together as they were individually. for fengqing, though i like them as a side couple in hualian fanfics, i never quite got engaged in their story together, many times they just annoyed me (god, im scared of saying that and people coming at me, but there you go). but i know they have their values and some interactions i could almost forget my light, petty resentment for their actions and laugh along. beefleaf though? mobei-jun and his creator shang qinghua? heavens, i wanted to see more of them.

so, this is it! do not worry about asking whatever and whenever you want to ask. i love coming here to answer them when i have the time. thank you!! hope you can spot a nice sunset and take a relaxing shower today.

[horseimagebarn]

welcome to the first weekly horseimagebarn interaction recap where every week i find the important tags reblogs and comments you lovely people have left for me to read and i respond to them in one fun post i will do this every friday to recap another week of horseimagebarn so get ready

if i were to make any other blog in the manner of the horseimagebarn it would likely be fish as i feel there is more variety in regards to fish and while i love new world monkeys and many of the old world variety there are certain types that really frighten and disconcert me and many pictures of monkeys you see in the modern day are actually apes which i have a distaste for though it is no fault of the apes and i do not blame them at all and still love them as creatures of this beautiful earth to put it simply i dont like their nipples and one time i saw one shit into its own hand and eat it right in front of me and it really gave me a fright however back to the fish subject i have gotten really into fishkeeping as of late and i thoroughly enjoy them and find it a most rewarding hobby to tend to a mini ecosystem in my own home and i love the practice dearly however i am dedicated to the continuation of this account for as long as possible and feel my interest in this blog is a one time thing that i must give myself to fully and if i were to make a fish blog it would be one for my personal fish and also i love you too though i do not know you personally i feel and appreciate your affections

this comment has given me much to think about as i am not he and this fellow as i have googled seems to be a politician and i do not prefer to associate myself with those types of folk especially those who participate in totalitarianism and fall off of their horses i am in fact a little hurt you would compare me to a rotten man such as this the further i look into it and i ask my audience to refrain from comparing me to such in the future

i agree with this commenter immensely i always post images after giving the origins of the image the benefit of the doubt as i want to believe every human treats animals with respect and care and i want to spread the message that animals are beautiful and intelligent and deserving of that respect and care using these images and i want to give these humans a level of trust that they are acting in the best interest of their animals and if it is discovered that they are not i will take proper action whatever that may be i have refrained from posting certain images due to these ideals before and i will continue in the future if it comes to it long story short please treat animals with respect and educate yourself on the best ways to do so and please know that i will never ever post an image in which i believe an animal is being hurt and if it comes to my attention that the animal is for certain being hurt i will remove it

thank you my friend i do indeed write poetry and have won one scholarship for it from my college in the past so i am happy that seems to permeate my life and the way i handle myself in general i have been thinking about submitting some of my writing to a literary magazine in my hometown recently and you have bolstered my confidence greatly i appreciate you

happy birthday my friend i hope you had a wonderful day

i love you dearly it is absolutely incredible to me that this account has gone from less than 100 followers to over 600 in less than a week i never thought that so many people would find joy in a blog i made as a silly side project to make myself and my girlfriend laugh every now and then but i am so happy we have gotten to this point

shoutout james

[6kuros]

As a fellow creator who is also disturbed and upset by the revelation of pizza tower being a product of 4chan type people, I'm wondering how you handle it? I still want to draw fan art but Im struggling to not get uncomfortable. Basically, I have both love and hate for the game now, and you seem like a cool person so Im wondering how you deal with that. Love your pizza tower fan art sm btw!

im really glad that you enjoy my art, and also am flattered you think im cool!!!

first of all, id like to mention that the art i posted just now was art that i had finished last night, before everything about mcpig came to light and i just wanted to post it since i already had it done…still unsure if im going to draw consistent pizza tower in the future honestly, id like to because its a lot of fun and i really do love a lot about the game. ideally, the current situation would change somehow so i can do that without any discomfort for myself or others, but the only way i foresee that happening is if the devs actually remove the racist shit from the game

what makes me feel (kind of) okay about producing fanart for the game despite what emerged is mostly the fact that as long as i am not reproducing the harmful contents of the game, nor directly supporting the people behind it, im not putting any harm into the world or perpetuating the 4chan stuff i guess? the only thing im really worried about is possibly getting people to want to buy the game by putting my fanart out there, but considering the games popularity from streaming and youtube videos i dont see my own art as contributing to that much. that makes it easier for me not to feel unsettled when i draw fanart for it, but i think that depends on how you view the relationship between fanart and source material, especially in an interactive space like the internet. if you think your art risks sending the message that you approve of negative aspects of a piece of media then its probably better not to share that art

theres also the fact that from the messages that were revealed i get the impression that at some point mcpig had a sort of disdain for "cringe leftists" being fans of the game i guess, and i would consider myself someone who he would/would have found cringe at one point lol. so by being into the game its kind of a fuck you idc that you hate me, this thing you made is being enjoyed by cringe leftists. considering the tone of some of the messages was "if people get mad at me im just going to be edgy in response" i dont even think disengaging with the game would even bother him at all. but all of that is really just speculation and i dont want to insinuate that engaging with bigoted media is proactive just because you are a marginalized person or have progressive politics. its important to actually weigh the harm of your actions and what effect you have with your consumption of said media i dont really know if thats a good answer though, and if it holds up to any sort of moral judgement. i do think its possible to enjoy problematic media, but considering how new the game is its not the kind of thing i can look at and be like "this piece of media is from x years ago and doesnt do real harm now". my worst fear is that there are pizza tower fans who are going to see the awful shit in the game and replicate it, bc the game somehow makes them thinks theres nothing wrong with it or that they can do so without consequence. just from a scope of the fandom there seem to be a lot of young teenagers so Yeah. im concerned in that regard and id like to beam a message into kids' brains thats just like Hey this character design/behavior fucking sucks Dont do this

so, by posting my art anyway i hope i can contribute to a portion of the fanbase that is outwardly against the bigoted content in the game, as an alternative to mcpig dick riders/defenders. and if there are any fans out there involved in the community who dont know better, hopefully they can learn, and avoid perpetuating bigotry

all that being said, your feelings on the matter may be very different, and you dont have to abide to any of this thinking. if a piece of media is upsetting you, its okay to step away from it as long as you need. maybe see how you feel when you come back to it and if the hateful feelings are still there, there is no obligation to engage further

(and as a bottom line if anybody reading this is considering playing pizza tower i suggest you pirate it instead of paying for it)