#and its not like i didnt have the opportunity to switch interests bc i did!! my brain tried | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

missgeniality · 4 years ago

Text

A Work Of Art (m)

“In our life there is a single color, as on an artist’s palette, which provides the meaning of life and art. It is the color of love.” - Marc Chagall

➺ Banner: The lovely @dee-ehn 💕

➺ Pairing: Jimin x Female Reader

➺ Genre: PWP, Smut, Slightest Angst

➺ Rating: 18+

➺ Word Count: 7.3k

➺ Summary: You surprise Jimin with his Filter outfit; and then some.

➺ Warnings: tongues get tired in this fic, dom!jimin, we talk about spit, some biting, jimin loves praise, lingerie n stuff, nipple play, oral sex (m&f receiving), we talk more about spit, some bondage is involved, degrading names, blindfolds, spanking (maybe too much, don’t look @ me), light choking, light face-fucking, cum eating, we talk even more about spit, hickeys galore, some edging?, unprotected sex (don’t do it kids, not even for Jimin)

➺ Author’s Note: (repost bc tags, you know how it is) huge s/o to @ilikemesometaetaes for making time to beta read this monstrosity 💜 thank youuuu! Also thanks to @honeiibeehobi, @kithtaehyung for helping me with the many many details & @ppersonnafor hyping up this idea or else it would have never seen the light of day ;_; lol i will come back to edit this cuz this didnt let me focus on my paper due tonight so if you see a spelling mistake or tense error umm no you didnt 👀

do let me know your thoughts!! the smallest feedback goes a long way! 💛💛

This is the first part of my Dress Down series, find more at it’s masterlist!

Y/N: soooooo, I did a thing. JM: is the dishwasher flooding our kitchen again? Y/N: -_- i’ll give you two more guesses. JM: oh no. you picked up a dog from the street again. Y/N: come onn!! JM: y/n, last time you picked one up, HE HAD AN OWNER Y/N: you’re down to your last try, or else i’m taking this off. JM: … JM: so its something you have on? 😏 Y/N: pic_210124.jpg JM: holy shit JM: wait wait fuck JM: keep the door unlocked.

“You like?”

The bob in his Adam’s apple wordlessly conveys the answer you’re looking for.

A crisp, white, button down shirt, tucked into black trousers, topped off with a panama hat that matches your top half is the view Jimin comes home to. Your dress pays homage to Jimin’s Filter outfit - actually, the exact one - the one that showcased his immaculate dance moves, the one that exposes his delicious collarbones, the one that brings the irresistible urge to bite your way up his neck - the one he eventually rids.

If you had to pick a color, he is a flustered orange, bright and blushing, turned on by the indecent implication of your very decent outfit.

You’re on the counter, one leg crossed over the other, accentuating the swell of your ass. Landing on the pads of your feet, you take a few steps towards the man with the unhinged jaw.

“Babe.” a mellow croak - Jimin can’t get a whole sentence out without saliva pooling and obstructing his speech. “You, in my clothes… fuck.”

Chuckling at his very obvious loss of words, you give him a twirl, allowing him to fully soak in your outfit.

“Was waiting for you.”

Three long strides and you were in his arms, a pair of lips desperate to invade your space and claim you. An Angel on your shoulder tells you to give in; after all, this is the end result - what you both want.

However, the Devil on the other side, no no no. It wants you to make him suffer. To get revenge for all the times you were taken control of. It remembers all the days he turned you on with shoot photographs and all the nights he brought you to the brink only to stop you from tipping over with a cocky smirk and a cheeky wink.

The Devil was created from the moments when you thought you would actually erupt, begging for release, only to be shoved aside with a single growl of ‘don’t you fucking dare.’

Your desire to please him effectively silenced the Devil and kept it at bay. But no more. All those times built up and gave your Devil the power to force its way against your will to restrain it, causing it to rise to the surface.

You will have the upper hand.

So you push him away, keeping him at an arm’s length for your safety to have him on his toes. Forlorn eyes meet your steely ones, and you physically stop yourself from giving in to his puppy gaze - those eyes can turn icy and sultry when nailing you into the bed like his rent depended on it.

“Sit there. I have a-” You turn to switch on some music, “-small present for you.”

“If the small present isn’t me folding you in half and fucking you till sunrise,” He sits with visible reluctance, irises slowly transforming into magma orbs, “I don’t want it.”

“Well, we’ll see… Depends on how you behave.”

On a normal day, this comment would have lit your ass on fire, pronto.

Today isn’t a normal day at all.

You stride on, every noiseless step you take leaving a wreckage of nerves behind, ignoring the smoldering gaze he has locked on you- you are unsure whether he is deciding your punishment or simply admiring how his clothes fit on your body.

You stand on the side, drinking him in.

From your viewpoint, this is ridiculous. Those cursed jeans, vacuumed onto his thighs, ensure your eyes don’t miss a single ridge. His legs are spread out, beckoning you to have a seat, and the Angel once again begs for some reprieve. He knows what he’s doing; knows you inside and out- knows you couldn’t miss a chance to ride him like this. The wicked smirk flashing back at you is confirmation.

But you stymy that thought at its root. Walking behind, you wrap your arms around him to faintly buss his cheek.

“Sooo I was watching Filter…”

Jimin hums against your feeble touch. He wants more. The soft wind of your breath routing through his jeweled ear sends a wave of goosebumps down his spine. From behind, you run your hands over his sinewy biceps, taut in restraint - holding themselves back against the suffering you are putting him through.

“You do know how fucking hot you looked, right?” You playfully let your tongue toy with the hanging ornament, the briefest of flicks causing Jimin’s shoulders to push back, trying to connect with your bosom.

With a crooked finger under his jaw, you bring him to meet your eyes- eyes that are adorned with layered shadows of deep maroons, a variety of colors blending into your skin tone, eyelashes piqued up and ready to reach the clouds.

“So pretty…” He whispers out as you place your hat on its rightful throne - Jimin’s head.

A lone digit traces the lines of art you etched for him, appreciating every single stroke you put in to make a memorable time. Warm merigold rays bloom in your chest in response to his gaze, with him looking at you like you invented the sky. Pupils are dilated, and the only reason you can see each other is because of the practically nonexistent distance between you.

His eyes pick up on your tapering resolve to keep him in line. A light quiver of need passing your lips as you hopelessly vie for dominance is what most likely gives you away.

Grabbing you by the neck, he pulls you into a deep kiss, plunging his tongue into you with reckless abandon like he was a nomad all this while and your mouth has finally claimed him home. Your neck strains at the awkward angle and surely even his is hurting, but the pressure of his hand is unrelenting.

His tongue searches and searches, desperately looking for a part in you he has not yet explored. You’d think the years of togetherness would have diminished this fiery attraction but no, he comes onto you like he has a mission to prove - to validate his love for you, to plead you to be his. You would happily accept this shower of affection, returning it with due interest.

With great difficulty you part, a string of spit still connecting your lips because he has not let you move far enough. “Uh-uh. Be good.” You pout a little, breaking character.

“You’re here. In my clothes. A walking dream. How the fuck am I to be good?” He pulls you back in to continue what you cut short but you break the line of spit and his intention with a hand wedged between your faces.

“I asked you a question, Mister.” Back on your cocky nature, you graze your lips against oh-so-lightly, barely giving him anything to feel, but the tingling on his skin shows he can feel it all.

The adoration moves into a competition, “You tell me, sweetness - how did I look?”

It’s always the praise. He loves it when you struggle to tell him his dick was crafted by the heavens when you’re choking on it, but he still makes you do it. You stutter and stumble your words when his lips smack against your cunt, devouvering and digging for the treasure of your cum, but he forces you to tell him. When you sit on his dick, your brain has no sense of diction or direction, only chasing the high at his mercy, but he makes you scream it out loud, letting everyone beyond the pearly gates know, between moans and wails, that only he can break you down this way.

“This shirt, sweetie.” Your nose trails the path between his collar and the ends of his hair, basking in the sweet vanilla scent, “You’re all covered. Why, pray tell,” You dig your teeth into the point where his shoulder meets his neck, “does this sole patch of skin turn me on so bad?”

He sucks in an inhale through his clenched teeth, his stunning visage devoid of any virtue. His head is thrown back, hat toppling over in the movement and giving you a larger canvas to mark, an opportunity you happily grasp. The mellifluous tones he is producing is recorded in your mind for lonelier nights to come.

“And the red suit? Fuck, your corseted waist?” At the corner of your eye you see his fingers clenching into a fist, your lush voice making it harder and harder for him to breathe.

You slowly stride forward, painfully slow, letting him notice every single muscle of your body curving to his unspoken command, undoing one button at a time until your torso is revealed- and shows the true purpose of your scarlet eye makeup.

A deep burgundy camisole, ribbed at the waist to accentuate the way your hips flow has Jimin salivating to no end. The strappy number, with carmine ribbons flowing into your yet to be removed bottom half- a deed Jimin intends on rectifying very, very soon- calls to him sinfully. The lingerie twists and ties in incomprehensible ways, but the amount of cleavage it gives you is ungodly.

If they weren’t already, Jimin’s eyes are now wide open.

Time comes to a standstill as he checks out your whole figure, taking in every embroidered pattern on the lingerie and every embellishment on your breasts. Before, you were already a five-star meal, but now? An emperor’s feast.

The little flower right on top of your nipple has Jimin’s attention. His thumb comes up to trace the bedecked rose, following the stitched line of stem that takes him to the peak, then drawing over petal by petal. Each time he reaches close to your hardened nub, he abstains from crossing over it, making your nipple hardens imperceptibly under the presentiment of any relief and the disappointment when nothing arrives. His other hand, sitting on your waist, coaxes you to straddle him while he plays gardner on your bust.

“Jimin…” Your nipple, finally finding solace under his thumb, is not faring too well under the attention. Your plan of teasing him is slipping through your fingers like sand.

“Tell me baby, what do you want?” His finger is now tracing the seams of your lingerie cups, admiring the way they frame your ample bosom. Things are progressing too slow for your liking, and you come clean with your ignoble intentions.

“Please, I just want to suck you off.”

A wad of spit lands directly into your cleavage, followed by two thick fingers penetrating the lubed entrance.

“Nope.” His fingers continue to shallowly fuck your cleavage. Neither of you are being touched in the erogenous zone, but why does it feel so good? Your valley is inundated with his dribble, coating your ensemble and shifting shades to a deep cerise. Every pump of his nimble fingers between your breasts is like a promise of what your pussy is going to go through. Will he fuck you hard and fast with your voice echoing across the room, making every neighbor privy of your sexual escapedes? Will he be slow and gentle, penetrate you with utmost care, soft gasps and whines only sounded to the two of you? You can never guess.

In the aphrodisiac moment, you forgot that you were supposed to take charge.

“Please, please, please! I did so much,” You take the guilt route. If Jimin was anything, he was a just and fair man. “Can’t I get that much?”

Jimin’s gaze has not left your wet cleavage. A flit of his eye makes contact with yours and goes back to the fucking - that is enough language for you to understand his needs. You bend low, and spit out a fat glob onto your chest to add to the mess he has already made. The groan that leaves him is ungodly, and he licks the spit you unloaded onto yourself, spreading it all over your expensive wear. He slurps like you released sweetened water to a parched traveller, your bosom holding all the sweetness to itself.

Gathering your thoughts is more difficult than you could ever imagine. The cloth over your nipples is completely soaked, bitten into and sticking to your skin thanks to the vacuum Jimin pulled on them. Your back has had a workout, every vertebrae bent to its maximum possibility. Chiropractors are so last year, you just have your boyfriend ravish your breasts.

“Once I’m done, you can do whatever you want.”

All of your five brain cells had to be put in action to form that sentence. The moment the words left your lips, the pressure your breasts were on had been released, but you could still feel lips against you, stretching into a snarky smirk.

“Whatever?” His grip on your waist tightens, seating you more firmly onto his taut thighs.

Whatever. That stupidly amazing word.

“Saying ‘whatever’ always lands you in trouble. Have you forgotten?” His damp lips are tracing your collarbones, nibbles whenever he felt appropriate. How does he expect you to form a damned sentence like this, the Devil on your shoulder indignantly asks. The Angel on the other has gone back in time to fetch memories filed under the term ‘whatever’, strictly saved for your quality alone-time.

The first time you told him to do ‘whatever he wants’ was fairly early into your relationship. Sex was as vanilla as the ice cream tastebud-less people liked, and none of you ever pushed it too far. A happy, drunken night with a loose-lipped confession from him.

“God, the things I want to do to you…” he had muffled into your hair, maybe not even intended for your ears to pick up.

A cheeky giggle had bubbled out of your tipsy self. “Like what, tie me up?”

If Jimin then were a color, he was a pantone pink. Blushed cheeks from the alcohol and the realization that you had caught him, airbrushed with a depth you weren’t able to put in place that early in the relationship. Wide-eyed horror was shown in its place, possibly exaggerated to add to the denial he had landed himself in.

“No no, of course, I don’t mean it like that, what ar-”

“Why not?”

The animal that awoke after confirming with you fifteen times was a force to be reckoned with. Your bra had turned into rope, wrists bound behind as he roughly squished your helpless cheeks.

“You will tell me when to stop, right?” His tongue peeked lightly, brushing your top lip, taking the perspiration away.

“Uhmf-yufh!”

“God, you’re gonna regret this baby.”

But it was exactly the opposite. You got the railing of a lifetime, heard the filthiest words that could leave the lips of such a courteous man - a side you had not expected at all. You couldn’t possibly recollect every single move he made, but what you can recollect with excruciating detail is every feeling you felt that night. It was filled with lust, with revelations of the new ways your body could bend, a night of puppetry where Jimin played you like the master your body craved. The following day was Jimin taking care of you, big puppy eyes wondering whether he took it too far. In his daze of letting go of control, he couldn’t take in your lidded stare, heaving with satisfaction - so you made sure he could witness them when he took you the next time that morning.

The other time the wretched word was mentioned was during an argument. You’re not jealous of Jimin on stage - it’s his career and you were one of the girls offering one of their kidneys to be able to catch a glimpse of him.

But your workspace? That’s where you draw the line.

She was a random worker. Some third-floor low-lying soul. You were eighth-floor premium material (the floors didn’t decide shit, but no one can tell you what skyscraper semantics you can craft in your brain). A lifeless party that even Jimin’s colorful locks couldn’t color up.

This random worker was very enamored by Jimin (as she should, the man is a whole nine-course meal). Supportive fans are not what get you jealous either.

But the limit is when placed her scrawny fingers on Jimin’s hand, drawing the glass in his grip to her lips and took a sip from it. If her lashes were fanned they could blow a man away (which is probably more than what her puny mouth could possibly do). The fume exiting your ears could have been in bright red for all you care, because every office member had been rightfully annoyed.

The whole car ride back was filled with your drunken blabbers about the different ways you could skin her. The actual victim beside you was not making a nearly big enough deal out of it, intending to let you get rid of your temper.

“She fucking knew!” Your normally clean disposition had taken its leave after the fuming temper took real estate in your brain, and you aimlessly threw your heel at some corner of the house - hungover self shall have to deal with this angry mess you’ve made. Wait, you’re an angry mess too.. “The gall she had, I should jus-”

You march towards the door, in hopes of what, you don’t know. But if you didn’t take action you’ll probably explode. Any action, just anything. You never find out though, because a strong arm slithered around your waist and halted your expedition.

“Calm down, feisty. Where are you going now?” His soothing voice, punctuated with a mocking chuckle almost quelled the fire in you. Almost.

But you’re not done being an idiot.

“To go find her for you. You’d fuck the living daylights out of her, right?”

The loudest silence you have ever encountered. Jimin’s grip on your waist tightened to the point where it could have hurt. Like he was trying to push every iota of that thought out of your body. From behind, you can hear a deep breath dragging, and somewhere in your irate head you knew you had struck a nerve, a bad one. Jimin is forced to expel any anger bubbling in him, trying to use reason with an unreasonable recipient.

“Princess, you don’t actually think I’d do that right?”

“I don’t know!” Your misplaced anger had reached the rooftops. Jimin had done nothing wrong here except try to calm an increasingly livid girlfriend. “Maybe you’d love that. Her itty-bitty waist, that whore’s outfit she had on. You call me a whore right? Maybe she’s more worthy of you!”

“Y/N.”

The timbre of his voice had completely changed. The breathy, airy aura had completely departed from your name he had just called. The lack of nicknames raised some hair at the nape of your neck, but you’re a stubborn one.

“Ugh, I don’t care.”

You tried to walk back to your room, head still reeling in a palace of inferno, burning everything that dares to intrude your path - but somehow, you had been pushed to a wall, and the eyes of the man you loved had turned feral.

If Jimin was a color, he was green - igniting with fury, anger repressed in dark shadows that never made the light of the day until pushed - but you pushed all right. And now released from its shackles, it has surrounded you and slammed you against the wall - and you have nowhere to go.

“You’re my whore. Is that a complaint from my stupid, stupid whore?”

The only joint you’re free to move is your neck, and your gratuitous self decided to rebel with whatever degree of freedom you have. Turning your face away to not meet his seething eyes, you continue your rebel-without-a-cause tantrum.

“Whatever.” you carped out.

Again, with that stupid word, you had signed your fate for the night.

Usually, you can express your feelings. Be it pain or pleasure (sometimes the two packed in one), you could wail it out to the heavens and respite would follow.

Usually, you can see the torments laid out on you. Jimin’s lithe body performing every obscene spell he invoked is a treat for your eyes. He treats your body like an artisan, using any medium to paint his art on you.

But that day, you were stripped of them both, and made to realize what a privilege they were.

Mouth stuffed with your bunched up panties, eyes blinded by his tie of the evening, you could only rely on the sensors on your skin to somehow predict what was going to be done to you. And you failed. Every single time. Every thwack fell on a new area. Every teasing touch tickled you at a new place. Nothing could begin to prepare you for his next move and you couldn’t keep up with his tameless pace.

He made you beg through the makeshift gag, beg to let you come, then beg to stop coming, beg for every orifice of yours to be filled by his seed and then beg to get cleaned by him. With the first rays of morning sunlight, language was an illusion, time was an out-of-reach concept, and all you knew was the worshipping of last night.

Whatever is a word. Whatever is mean. Whatever is filthy. Whatever is nailing you into the bed and rendering you immobile for the entire day. Whatever may just be a word to anyone, but to you it is what has you losing sense of reality, giving in to a phantasm of your wildest dreams.

A wet tap on your cheek brings you back from you imagining the past - the fingers that were fucking your cleavage are squishing your cheeks, bringing your attention back from all your dirty memories to the present - to create another memory to add to your folder.

If Jimin is a color, he is the darkest of all blacks. This is where everything pious comes to meet its sordid end. His sultry gaze is reading your eyes, searching for where you got lost, which shared memories of passed time made you melt into the puddle that you are right now.

“I said, don’t you remember? ‘Whatever’?”

Let’s see. You don’t have work tomorrow. You don’t have any commitments. You don’t have to meet anyone.

So there is no reason for you to be able to move.

“Hmmmmn, I don’t seem to recall - you could remind me.”

Dark, dark chuckles from such a cherubic face. You flounder off his lap to shuck your (his) pants away, revealing the matching maroon garter belt set. The whole outfit is an ode to Jimin’s mid performance transformation, the one that made many people’s hearts skip a quick beat. His slim, cinched waist, the flared pants flowing down his frame were one for the books, and you’d like to think your rendition has its place too.

Giving him a quick spin, you attempt to get down to business - but Jimin pulls you back on his lap. Without the pants, you can feel it - his hard, thick cock straining against the tough jean fabric and still making its presence known.

“Tell me more, baby. What did you like?”

The man was a sucker for your praise.

You were a sucker for the whole man.

But the sucking will probably have to wait.

“I loved your expressions. You’re so sexy on stage, fuck. Going around and giving bedroom eyes to the world.”

His hand gripping you ass gives it a quick pinch, but voice just let out a lazy hum to get you to continue.

“The choreography,”, your whisper is strained, “you dance like you fuck baby. So sensual, so sexy.”

You lick a stripe up his neck, from his artistic collarbones to the back of his ear, the sensitive spot that makes him hiss is arousal. You stay there, wanting to whisper the next few lines. The world didn’t need to know your thirst for this.

“You know my favorite part?”

“Oh, tell me.” His voice is hitting lower and lower in pitch, much like it’s hitting you lower and lower in your body.

You place the hand framing his face on his neck - the same one you want to cover in blooms of purple and red, lightly squeezing, letting him preen under the pressure. The tightness has Jimin’s head falling back on the headrest, and you can feel his pulse hastening to accommodate for the lacking oxygen in his stream.

Letting go of his throat, and pleased to see the lightest indentation on his beautiful pale skin, you snake your hands downward.

“Na, na, na,” Inching slowly towards your end goal, you whisper the tune into his ear, “na na na, na, na na”, covering every part with an indulgent languish, “pick your filter”.

Your hand finally reaches its destination - you grab his bulge and squeeze the hardness, making Jimin buck his hips against your palm.

“Namaneul damabwa.”

It’s a low whisper from his lips, but even in the gravelly sound you can hear how melodious he is, how the song rolls off of his tongue and was made for his vocal color. The whisper is laced with lust, with want, with desire, all the feelings you portrayed for him in his performance.

That, and in life in general.

You shuffle and sit to the side, simultaneously unbuttoning his jeans to get him some relief for the ache he had going on. Finally, you acquiesce and free his dick from its cages.

Every time you see him is a wonder to you. Hard, ridged, the right amount of veins to stimulate the walls of your cunt. Head leaking from the eons of teasing you’ve been doing, right from the text you sent to seconds ago. You bend down to clean him up, tasting the saltiness of his seed that has coated the head. Jimin’s lips are facing the brunt of your deeds - his teeth have found near permanent residence in its plushness, digging deep to keep from moaning too early, from giving you the pleasure. He is going to make you work.

Well, you must get to work.

Slowly, slowly, you dip your head in further, sucking lightly with each move, tongue tracing every vein on his dick. As you move your head back up, Jimin’s hand pushes into your back, making it arch further, and then you go down on his dick. His finger lightly follows the curve of your back, from your upper back all the way to the band of your lace panties.

Hooking a finger underneath the lace fabric of your panty that had disappeared in between your mounds of flesh, he pulls at it - hard. Your throat revolts against the intrusion as you gag, and the fabric presses into your clit. The concentrated abrasion turns into pleasure - he uses it to arch your back further, and bring your ass closer so that he can-

Smack!

The spank sends you forward and you choke on his dick further, throat giving in to his hardness.

“So good for me baby. Look at that ass.” He grabs one cheek, bubbled with the way your panties are now, squeezing and testing the firmness of your glutes.

Your plans of torturing him are shot; the Devil on your shoulder is strangely mute. Awakening the brat, you slip a hand under and toy with his balls, pulling back to provide your throat some recess. Your saliva mixed with his precum is an gushing mess, glistening on his balls and now coating your palms as you play with light squeezes - the existing stiffness caused by your teasing arousal mixed with your playful fingers make Jimin buck into your mouth, releasing a delicious groan in the process.

A second spank is a warning, either you increase your pace or reap some serious consequences. You consider the consequences; they are very compelling. You could end with delicious marks of ownership from this delicious man. But he deserves the best suck of his life, and you’re going to do just that.

Hollowing your mouth, you go further down, till his head is poking an uninvaded point in your throat, and Jimin lets out a surprising note. A groan, no, a roar, but a tinge of whine mixed in it, like the pleasure is too much for him.

You continue to swallow around, hand pumping the length you couldn’t take in, interlarded with swipes on his tight balls, leaving Jimin to be a heaving mess. Your ass is not faring better, bearing the brunt of his replies. You’re positive his fingerprints are imprinted on your asscheek, and one sit on his phone can unlock it. The line of your panties is drenched with your sopping wetness and lodged between the lips.

“God, I’m so close baby, just a little more.”

You would fervently nod in acceptance to whatever demand he places; in this position, he could ask you for the world and you would have it at his disposal. But what stops you are his ringed fingers lodged in your hair, pushing you in further, determined to spill deep in your throat, to the point where you don’t even have to swallow to get everything down.

“Fuck, such a good girl for me.” Jimin appraises how deep he is going, how your throat is accommodating him and quivering around his length. Bunching your hair up into a makeshift ponytail, he stops them from obstructing his vision - the view of you struggling to take him in, toiling to keep the need to breathe at bay while you tend to his needs, worshipping his dick like its the last meal you’ll ever get - your desperate adulation takes him over the brink.

Jimin erupts into your mouth; an ungodly amount at that. It is the hardest he’s come in a while, and given your lifestyle, that’s saying something. Even a cum-hungry whore like you can’t possibly swallow that much in one go, and you are forced to let the globs dribble down his now-softening member. The two of you are heaving, catching a breath - completely different circumstances but the same result.

The way you’re looking at him right now; his dick is already twitching to go for a second lap. Dilated pupils staring back, like you were at the receiving end of the orgasm - you are staring at him like he hung every star in the sky. Strings of cum are leaking out of the corners of your lips, ones he really wants to lap up with his tongue. Instead, you daintily dab it away - as innocent as pecking stray drops of ice cream off your mouth.

You look at him with teasing eyes. “Want a taste baby?”

Running your tongue along the mess you (or he) made, you gather the remnant cum that didn’t go into you, and instead flooded his groin. Straddling back onto his lap, you go in for a kiss but stop halfway.

Jimin is looking, waiting with lust hungry eyes. Slightly pained by the pause, he whines.

“What?”

“Open your mouth.”

From a height, you let his cum and your spit drop into his mouth, a groan of satisfaction emanating as Jimin’s tongue accepts it with great delight. He tastes his juices, they somehow feel sweeter coming from your mouth. He pushes the glob you dropped on his tongue against the roof of his mouth, letting every taste bud bathe in relish. When he’s sucked all flavor out of the globule he swallows it. On opening his eyes and landing back from heaven to earth, he sees you admiring his adam’s apple, the way it bobbed when he swallowed your offering.

Jimin’s eyes trace your current state; you look beautiful. The strappy red lingerie wet from Jimin’s treatment perfectly showcases your peaked nipples, ready for another round of torture. His shirt, through all this has managed to stay hanging on your shoulders. The curves of your sinful waist accentuated by the ribbons of the wear, like roads down a windy path, every ribbon vanishing into their destination, between your curvaceous thighs.

Slipping his fingers under the band, he decides he has not played with the lingerie enough, tugging it up once again - a sharp inhale and you’re moving along with it, upward to balance between the point of pain and pleasure. Jimin makes sure you don’t tip in favor of one. Grabbing you by the neck, Jimin harshly pulls you down into a deep kiss.

He’s done waiting, done watching you take the reins. His tongue tells you that you now can only react to his doings. Deepening the kiss, you let your mind walk places. Back to his performance, his stage presence, the aura he exudes when he is in his element. His sinful body melding to the flow of the beat, like the music was made to his movement - his piercing gaze that could leave an insentient camera with blushed cheeks - but a sharp bite pulls you right back to the present to remind you that this is also Jimin in his complete element. Pillowy lips, incandescent with every brush, sucked and nipped with fervor. But it still didn’t satisfy. It wasn’t nearly enough. Starved, you wanted to scream at every imperceptible air pocket between the two of you - as if you knew in your soul they were guilty of keeping you away.

Jimin pulls away, and his words shut you down before the whine leaves you.

“About that ‘whatever’…” his sinister eyes are a window to his brain churning something unimaginable to close the night - sinister in uppercase. Make it bold. Underline that shit. That’s him.

In the bat of an eye, you are face down on the sofa - Jimin’s rock hard thighs are straddling you, making sure you can handle his weight. In all the coarseness, he takes care of the smallest of things. An untimely smile creeps up on your face at the thought, the tender show of affection amidst the rough push and pull affecting your immersion, but you can’t say you don’t like it.

Feeling a rough jerk on your shoulder, you try to look back, just in time to receive Jimin’s ravenous gaze; he looks at you like he will eat you alive, and by the end of the night you plan on having just that. Pulling back your now-unbuttoned shirt and bunching its ends, he anchors you to the position of his choice by tying your hands behind.

Smelling a line up your neck all the way up to your hair, he briefly pauses to ask “Okay?”

Your tiny nod is enough for Jimin to carry on with whatever godless plan he has chalked out for you.

“I hope you had your fun. Because I’m not going easy on you.”

Light banter could cause no trouble. Atleast, not more than you already have. “When have you ever?”

Flashbacks of the blossoming days of your relationship flicker in Jimin’s mind, their fugacious presence a telling sign of how long it has been. Looking downward, he can only thank his alcohol-induced blabbering of that night as that is the reason he can enjoy the view he has right now.

“Maybe I should take it easy?” His tongue flits across your neck, too soft for your liking, torturous like his liking.

His fingers are playing with the straps and your now exposed upper back. It’s always been a favorite place of his. The whole expanse looks resplendent when he is done tasting you. Maroon and purple florets on your beautiful, glowing skin. And then you purposely wear dresses to show it all off, to show who your heart belongs to. He loves that about you.

You gyrate lightly, snapping him out of his daze, begging him to take you hard and fast. “Jimin, please.” a low drawl leaves you as you try to not slobber all over the cushion.

Jimin shifts lower to straddle your thighs. Snaking his hand between your legs, he finds your clit and plays with it, every press releasing a different sound from different depths of your throat. A particularly low grunt appears when he slips two fingers into your channel with smooth ease, and pushes you up from the inside.

“Ass up for me.”

His fingers stay lodged inside as you raise your hips to obey him, pulling you up further and further till he is satisfied with your position. God, your pussy looks wrecked. With every pump of his fingers you gush our more liquid, and Jimin gathers the escaping drops on this tongue.

“So perfect for me, this hole.” You can feel the cold metal of his rings drawing circles inside you as he prepares you to take his cock. His tongue, drawing completely different characters is too slow for your liking - he seems to be more satisfied in drinking your cum dripping from his fingers instead of paying attention to your throbbing clit. Seconds go by, several hinting moans of dissatisfaction go by, but the Devil on your shoulder seems to have returned and is asking for more. A hip raise, that’s all. His tongue will be right where you want.

What you got instead was a sharp bite on your already battered ass - Devil, hey, where did you go? “Behave.” He grunts against your pussy, and a fresh wave of arousal escapes you with a third finger making its way in. “Don’t like it? Too,” Smack! “Fucking.” Smack! “Bad.”

The last spank hit you hard, leaving your cunt soaked to the core. He is trying to get a rise out of you, and you are falling for it. Your smarting skin is at its breaking point, but let’s not pretend like you don’t want this either.

“Baby please, I’m so close.” You’re close to tears with how long you’ve been this turned on. Maybe Jimin will have a change of heart seeing you like this.

“Don’t.”

Well maybe not.

He’s using your hole like playdough - for his fancy, with no end goal in sight. He doesn’t seem to want you to come anytime soon and it is bothering you to no end. The tightening coil in your belly is almost painful at this point - but he doesn’t seem to want to let up anytime soon.

“You taste so sweet baby, almost don’t want to let you come, so you keep dripping like this.”

His fingers curl into you to hit that spot, and God, you’re seeing stars right now. Curling up your fists into a ball and trying to keep the threatening tsunami at bay, you jerk into his mouth and continue to sway to the tune his fingers play inside you. If desperation had a poster girl, they could take your photo right now.

“If you let me come I -ohhh- I will- I will give you more.” Your words are broken, every push into your cunt halting your flow of speech.

A split second later you are empty. He’s pulled away from you, and you think the finger-fucking torture you were going through was almost better than this. Your walls flutter in empty anguish.

“Better keep your promise then.” Finally, you hear Jimin shuffling behind, but your muscles feel too alive and too dead at the same time. At crossroads, you are unable to get yourself to move, to twist or turn and witness the glory of him, the scrunch of his features, the grit of his pronounced jaw, his lips heaving a sigh as he pushes his girthy self into your leaking hole.

Jimin’s forehead is lined with sweat, jaws hurting from the tight clench he had trying to not nut into you too soon. Now they revolt in pain, ready to pass on their trouble to his dick and release into you the moment he fits himself in. But he held off; he had plans for you - long plans.

As he slowly pulls himself out, you can’t help but mewl at the pleasure your walls are feeling, with every ridge of his cock pressing all the right spots inside you, the snug fit when he’s pulled out all the way only leaving the head inside you. Then, you can’t help but yell, expressing a mixture of anguish and pleasure when his hips snap to push into you in one swoop, hitting deep inside you. With your ass high up in the air, his balls smack your engorged bud, sending shockwaves throughout your body and clenching the hold you have on his dick.

“Fuck baby, you feel fucking tight. You’re so close?” Jimin’s voice is strained as well; the lack of mocking in his tone tells you he is close as well.

“Ki-Kiss me, please.” The voice that leaves you is so foreign, so unknown. The fucked out woman speaking in your stance has no spatial or temporal comprehension. You don’t even realize how you are put on your back, now a lucky witness to Jimin’s nimble figure pushing back into you as he leaned over to slot his lips on yours.

The kiss was explicit, it was rough, it would put to any kiss you’ve shared before to shame. Deep in throes of pleasure, his mouth is chasing yours. Your hands are still bound; a light fight against the restrain tells you you don’t have a chance. Instead, you suck his plush lip in, swiping your tongue across his cherry petals that are rushing with blood because of you. Dormant volcanoes across the world could erupt with the blaze of your merging lips, it is scorching hot.

If Jimin is a color, he is a rich wine - deep and passionate. He puts his one hundred percent into whatever he does, be it skilled singing, adept dancing or simply fervent kissing. He gives it his all.

Jimin’s skillful hips move in every way he wishes - and your pussy is thankful for that. Rolling in deep, he tests the stretch of your walls, before pistoning into you with zeroed-in precision, sole focus to get you to come with him. The effort he was putting in could be seen in his abs - they have tightened with exertion, and with a light sheen on sweat, look absolutely delectable.

Letting your hands roam, you bring Jimin’s face into your neck where you can hear every single breath, every hiss, every groan - that you could record and keep in your memory. With one hand tugging his tresses, and the other hand drawing paths on his back with your nails, you hear the sounds you want to. Jimin sharply bites your ear, and the shockwaves of pleasure send you tipping.

There’s layers to the pleasure you are experiencing right now, your orgasm hitting you in ebbs and flows. Right when you think you can finally return back to ground, the high tide pulls you back into the water for another stream of pleasure. It feels like eternity when you finally hit the land, and even then the loose sand makes you falter, threatens to send you back into the ocean.

Jimin’s pace is faltering, and he spills soon after. Hot, heavy breaths tickle under your ear, as both of you feel the sheer intensity of the orgasm. Him on you, your hearts are aligned, and you can feel the beats fighting each other for dominance until they soften down.

Ripples of energy flow out of the both of you, elevating the temperature around the two of you. If you didn’t have your eyes closed you’d say literal rolls of steam are emanating from the way you both are heaving. You slowly regain your senses, twitching hands trying to remember what it is that hands even do.

A shiver runs through your spine when you hear a grunt so close to your ear, only to realize Jimin is in the same position as you are in. Even without looking, you can guess what his expression is. Void of any edge, the softness of his facial features must have made their return, with crinkled eyes and a light frown on his beautiful pouty lips, he probably looks like an innocent caricature of the man that stood behind you moments ago. Letting your palm rest on his head, you beckon him to get up.

If Jimin is a color, he is the pinkness best portrayed by his puffy cheeks at this moment. A childlike glow, a guileless visage. He looks at you with such adoration, like you are the only desire in his world, and everything else can be damned.

You don’t want to break this silence but you cheekily add, “You didn’t even get me naked. Like this a bit too much eh?”

Dark clouds mar the pink and turn it into a deep, sultry carmine - the shift in his color noticeably brings your temperature down by a few degrees.

“Cute. You think I’m done with you.”

He is the whole palette, and you can pick your filter.

Thank you for making it to the end! Let me know what you think! And you can find more of my writing at my masterlist here!

#bangtansorciere #bangtanhq #bangtancentralstation #ficswithluv #bangtaninn #bts smut #jimin smut #park jimin smut #bts fanfic #jimin fanfic #bangtanuniversity

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diavolosthots · 4 years ago

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Hi, sweetie! I wonder if you may write a headcanon about sinblings (undateables too if it's okay) with a crybaby darling. Like, she's weak and cries bc of that. Something made her extremely angry? She cries bc she can't do anything about it (abusive relationships in movies for example). A cat in a game died? She cries. Maybe the reason of this are in her parents. Even if they love her, they argue, which is scary and make her cry. Thanks, have a nice day!

Hey love! I'm going to be honest:

!Warning! Before I answer this, I want you to know that I try to stay as true to the being "demon" as possible. So some of these answers are not wholesome.

THE BROTHERS + UNDATEABLES reacting to a crybaby MC

Lucifer:

It doesnt fly with him. First of all, as much as he promised Lord Diavolo, he cant protect you from literally everything. Second of all, hes on the verge of begging for a demon to eat you. He knows not all humans are like this, so why in the world are you? On the off chance that it doesn't bother him to the moon and back, he'll manipulate you through your vulnerability to his every desire instead.

Mammon:

He took it as an opportunity at first. "The great Mammon jumping to your rescue" but he quickly became overwhelmed and he could feel himself turn from hero to villain in his own story. He cant even handle himself; save himself. How in the hell would he save someone else? Constantly, too.

Leviathan:

Make it stop. Make it stop! Why are you crying? Literally nothing happened? So what, he raised his voice at another game! Its not the end of the world and quite honestly it's getting annoying as, dare he say, hell! Just stop! He gets angry, frustrated; those are his least favorite types of people. He already whines a lot himself, he cant handle someone actually crying.

Satan:

He tries to understand, he really does. But you're such an easy target and God if your tears dont bring some sick pleasure to him. At first, he mightve been concerned, but as time went on, it became a game to him. You didnt think you could survive in the Devildom with no backbone, did you?

Asmodeus:

Another one who'd use it to his advantage. Come to Asmo for comfort; for talk and wandering hands at your most vulnerable. He will use your instability to his advantage. Will make you rely on him and the worst part? You know what hes doing, but you wont be able to save yourself.

Beelzebub:

In some way, it hurts his nonexistent heart, and he does try to comfort you a lot, but he cant help the annoyance he feels. He wouldn't voice that, of course, not when he knows you'd just cry again. But it shows in his actions. His words would become less comforting, his hugs not as tight anymore; it's almost as if hes losing interest.

Belphegor:

Much like Satan, he finds some sick pleasure in it. That is, at least, if he cares enough to pay attention to every single time you cry in the first place. And much like Levi, if it interrupts his sleep, he might also raise his voice. Its not in a demons nature to be sympathetic.

Diavolo:

He wanted to be nice. To be peaceful. To tolerate it. But everyone has a breaking point and he was inching closer to his own every day, with every passing tear, every incident that arose. He shouldve never brought you here. It was bothersome and interrupting his every day. This was more trouble than it was worth and he has no problem switching you out with someone who can actually... Survive.

Barbatos:

Unlike the façade he shows around Diavolo, he actually does not have a lot of patience, and is quick to grow tired of your antics. He doesnt have time to wipe away your tears at any given moment and if you were just a random human, he would've devoured you a long time ago; wouldve fed you to either himself or Cerberus a long time ago.

Simeon:

He's your best shot. The one who protects you and comforts you from anything; quite literally an angel. He cares about you; about all of God's creation, and he wants you to be strong and be sensitive. It's not a sign of weakness, it's strength. And until you realize your own strength, he will be your strength for you.

Solomon:

Interesting. He'll analyze you, try to figure out whats wrong and dive deep into your psyche. He's not the world's best comforter, but his arms are open and hes good at distractions. Sure, the Devildom can be scary, but humans have to stick together in a world full of demons.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #demons #obey me lucifer #mammon obey me #leviathan obey me #satan obey me #asmodeus obey me #obey me beelzebub #belphegor obey me #obey me lord diavolo #barbatos obey me #simeon obey me #obey me solomon

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

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I ship muren and li cheng bc i only saw it through gifs then i watched this episode cos i was like im only starting this show if they kiss im waiting and they did and it was nice and i got so anxious that i was about to fucking vomit. I really like them together. The top/bottom shit is dumb and i hope if they must mention it they all build a bridge and get over it so they can switch cos who gives a shit. I didnt realize how large they all are like most “tall” men on tv are lying. But bc that kid is so thin and tall and the other one (idk the stepbrother) is huge too. Li cheng is shorter than them both but more ~manly~ but still short so why doesnt he take a DICK UP HIS BUTT XD since that’s all that fucking matters and there’s only 2 genders and 2 eays to have sex lmao so nothing else otherwise ur screwed

Hd a terrible past couple of weeks personally and because i keep seeing my peopl eget murdered and things ripped from us ^_____^ anyway here’s Some libertatrian communist dumb bitch discoars so i’ll tag it:

keep in mind these are my opinions’”” when i engage in discourse. I am not the end all be all and I don’t need you to agree. There’s some shit I am non-negotiable on but thsi is just exchanging of information. Any authoratative tone I take on comes from my beliefs, my life, my experiences, and what I choose to cultivate as a person and an artist. I dont have control over your feelings, you do. If it hurts you then either tell me the issue and be PRECISE about it, understand that context matters which is why i type so much in engagement, and do not fucking lie or misconstrue my words. Do not call me western ever in your life either. I am a black-american. I have adhd and bc i am a black woman if ur automatically thinking im brolic i am accepting money in my paypal for ur wellbeing to get me to shut the fuck up.Thanks.

The stepbrothers storyline is stupid and lazy writing. I really want to counter people that say it’s written well and that it’s interesting because it isn’t. Even if it was illicit and fucked we can write a story out about this. Let’s rethink what they could have done shall we:

- become stepbrothers at about 16 and their parents mismanage the relationship and they fail in trying to get an integrated family together (this is what happened in the #iconic transit girls and that was fuckin’ weird but hey dude guess what we watched it and it was weird but not unethical and we know one is like 19 and the other is 21 and a girl so it’s like wow you avoided so much and handled their stepsister story very…….um lightly given the end lmao but it was there and people had AGENCY)

-OR you realize that freak is obsessed with him and then he realizes it and is like “bitch i swear to god” and in typical shtity trope BL fashion they can find a way from obsession, to loss and independence when you lose your obsession, to “love” if they choose

- have the fucked up shit but make it clear what the issues are and you literally cannot write your way out of it so do not try

But why can’t fucked up things be shown? Also this is realistic.

0. Well according to you but no one said that they can’t. So that’s on your interpretation of critique (that is, again, not bullying or harassment.) They can, i just gave plenty of scenarios in which it is affective and not just annoying to witness, trope-y, and frankly ridiculous and offensive. Sorry! They don’t do it well. You can come up with alternatives too. See #2 btw.

1. No it isn’t doing a good job of reflecting life because life has consequences. The exaggeration in drama doesn’t mean the arc shouldn’t be there. Almost always things that aren’t heavy with the message or meant to be sobering in a deep way are COMPELLING. The realism is the basis for art because we are human. This is not the way real humans act.

Someone said Tharn Type was mature and I had to laugh because no, no one acts that way and is “in love” if they act that way that means they fucking hate each other and they’re immature and frankly it’s just not that interesting for many of us to watch because the dramatization of the “realism” is fucking bonkers. That was such poor writing it is unbelievable and someone has the audacityt o say it’s how real adults act. Fucking murder me if I’m with someone for 7 years and we break up over a miscommunication and for some reason I am not as horny as my always horny boyfriend. The fuck? What kind of lives do you lead? Either you are not an adult or you are an adult who needs therapy.

I also hear the “realistic” argument but then people try and temper it with “but also it’s fiction.” What do you think fiction is? Why do you think filmmaking exists? Number one, it’s propaganda in the sense that you want others to buy into your presentation and see what you see. That means that the creators are telling people and influencing them WITH ART BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS about their feelings around a situation. That’s why it is imperative to be responsible as a filmmaker and artist and underline the deepness of creepiness if that’s what they want. If they want to relay that rape sometimes ok and psychos are crazy so they get boy (??!?!?!? BITCH?) then they achieved it with no innovative information. We know people get raped bc we are human beings and many of us live with that fear. You know, being the target demo and all. And bc BL loves that trope it’s rape fantasy peddled to young people and women. Just like shitty wattpad fics or NYT best sellers. Hooray, what now? Or are you trying to purport that this isn’t glorified fanfiction? Which it literally is

2. This is the issue with these shows. No one is saying that fucked up shit cannot be shown. There’s a film about a woman who is raped and she falls in love with her rapist (because he was masked but i think we find out later that she knows. Binoche is in it.) I have no desire for that film—i think it’s by a man and i extra dont care—but I hear it’s sort of powerful for many. I heard it was a good film. But the act itself is always eschewed and the conflict comes from how fucking ridiculous it is especially finding out that she knows. The power imbalance adn the possibility. They may not have handled it in a way I would have cared for but it was there.

There’s simply no imagination because these people do not care that much and aren’t great writers and filmmakers because they simply do not have to be. Sorry.

The industry doesn’t rely on the best they rely on efficiency (this is everywhere.) You can tell by the camera angles, the editing, the camera itself (idk if it is multicam but the flatness is typical soap flatness without the glowboxes to soften their faces.) Simple constant lighting. Now the surroundings are mostly beautiful. But even to some of the costumes. And those edits are abysmal, some of that camera work.

So with all that said even with the couple I extremely enjoy I see its (H4) faults. Add into that a lazily thrown together “shocking” love and if they are trying to get us to feel a type of way about its sexiness they fail. This is why movies like 50sog, 365 days, etc aren’t enjoyable to people because it’s fucking strange situations that they dont want to entangle or make enjoyable to viewers across the board. They know what people will take. It’s just that bitch what are we here for if even the sexiness isn’t there for ur stupid story.

At least with that teenager and 30 yr old man in MODC (which i do not love but i like them in theory if it wasnt totally repulsive to me and also if it was developed in a way that was good TO ME) they had their, er, “sex appeal” i talk about this as well the main couple in MODC to me, visually, was a miss. Not bc whatshisface was small and stuff but bc he was so sickly and they needed that to propel the story but it was just not appealing given how the story progressed. A missed opportunity in tying the two together besides making him look waif-y and sickly only to have the “did ur mom die in a car crash? No, cancer” type of move in not another teen movie. But the opposite. And not funny. Wayne tho????? GORL. Eggs. Cracked.

fandoms have a very warped sense of harrassment and discourse.

Most fandoms have harassers who are “protecting” the cast and crew who don’t need their protection (or maybe the crew does since they probably dont get paid well but why the fuck would anyone care about that lol) but very few have the people who have concerns or massive critique about the show are not going to be “bullying.”

If people are saying “if you like xyz, u suck” then sure it may suck for you to see but who fucking cares. Either talk to the person or don’t be friends with them. That is not bullying or harrassment. Things that are shitty get criticized. Fuck, things that aren’t shitty don’t. Get away from this idea of cancel culture and people misunderstanding the story. We have the ability to.

Think beyond your noses of personal preference. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them.

And guess what? You won’t like everybody. Many people can’t stand me i’m sure. Oh well. I mean frankly I don’t like that and I feel very unsettled when I don’t feel understood. That’s ok! I have to temper it. Sometimes calm myself down. I won’t get anything and everything I want. And you won’t like every opinion and sometimes it’s like “man am i a dummy?” But the part of growing up is fucking maanging that and beng honest about “bashing and harrassment” and “bullying” and growing up. Yuo can like what you want the “let people like what they want thing” is so fucking juvenile and THAT is not the real world. Which is probably why so many people feel that way, they dont want to live in the real world. Unfortunately, you do.

Think beyond our noses of personal preference and what we feel emotionally in conjunction with others. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. And you can say things that you believe to be true but it doesn’t make them so or maybe it isn’t received that way to people. And many times we learn new things in the discussions “oh shit i didn’t see it that way” right? Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them. Usually the “opposition” in these situations aren’t the popular beliefs that permeate through society. Trust me lmao

Antiblackness

Antiblackness is a thing. It permeates everywhere. It permeates in this genre and it permeates in fandom. Get it the fuck together. Also do not conflate cultural relativism with being repsectful. They are not barbarians, they are smart human beings either making work or deciding to. We all have diff cultures but we have fucking sense in what is respectful and not. And if we don’t we fucking learn. You cannot excuse things and say “oh culture” when you have 0 idea of that culture or actual people who are radical etc and are fighting against it. Additionally the word westerner is an ignorant term when referring to people in the US or UK who are black. Because we are not. We extend sympathy to other groups and empathy since we know so there is no inherent power imbalance between a black viewer and their subject. Don’t suggest that because it’s wrong and ahistorical and contextless.

FIRST the fallacy of representation as freedom makes people fucking complacent, individualistic, and doesn’t let them think critically. Consumption and discourse around consumption is not helping material conditions of the marginalized communities in your home, the black ones who are ignored, those intersectionalized in these communities. Groups talk about art and what it means for them outside of just what we see and because we also don’t have access to a bunch of Thai reviews or what movements or going on we are less likely to know if we don’t FUCKING SEARCH for it. Because art is constant...which leads me to....

Representation is difficult. It matters and it doesn’t.

Tthese shows are not meant to overturn the LGBTQ+ community.

There are queer filmmakers and artists in these countries. Deep illustrious film careers or even TV that is moving and deliberate. We can even see it with the dude from “your name engraved” in their short series he was in beforehand. BL is no wa pejorative because it is simply not “qu**r” storytelling whatever that means. But know it has always existed everywhere and there are also out artists or radical artists in all these countries who do no respect mediums that are cash-grabs and poorly made.

ex: As much as “Like in the Movies” sort of isnt for me and is a bit hamfisted you can tell how much love goes into that. Love of the characters, acting, and message. Yes it’s cringey to see some of the lines (like very tbh subtlety wasnt exactly their strong suit) and yea naming them after lenin and marx is just 0ihgoaudgijposkagjihou BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY FUCKING DID IT. THEY TRIED. And class was a large component as well bc u cant fuckin ignore it. The show is aware of the machinations in its world as a show but also in the philippines and for a fuckin reason. And duatarte? Loooooooool so like yea not so sure bl makes him love his ppl but the show isnt trying to do that

It’s not a transgressive genre and it has no reason to be. No ethical anything under the way we live it’s just trying your fucking best to be. That’s it. They serve societal ills and capital’s purposes. Which is fine but it is not revolutionary.

These countries in SEA or even SA do not have as big budget for even mainstream dramas—though things are changing and that’s bc REVENUE like revenue from kpop is fucking huge for SK and again so much about that is bc of what happened in their history from japanese imperialism to WWII to the US—so for “queer” stuff it is sort of now important to make that an export and it sure is one. Not only globally or to the west but a lot of these places make their money within asia (duh!) outside of their countries. OBVIOUSLY. so BL is a way to output and gain money. The thing is, it doesnt seem to be put back into the industry at all. For people in all these countries to make works that aren’t for mainstream or wont reach as many people there’s a difference between trying and just shoving shit in your face and going here it’s gay you like it right? But dont antagonize the inherent patriarchal nature of BL.

Another thing: did you guys know thailand was never colonized? You should look it up. There’s little hints of things in ITSAY to represent french influence still. Isnt that fascinating? Find out why. It’s certainly interesting that the representation, though damaging and dubious many times and also incorrect like any media, is huge in asia and this isnt a commodity here (the US) exactly. A lot of that has to do with colonial ideas of gender of which I am sure. But listen………lmao

Sometimes people dont give a shit. And it very much shows. Here is the thing once again. GOOD TRANSGRESSIVE WORK exists.

Een within the capitalist Bs paradigm or you can see people trying (I can sort of applaud parts of lovely writer) also queer media has always existed everywhere the reason you don’t know about it is because it gets takena nd commodified into a mainstream product. We hvae little incentive, particularly if we are not fans of cinema or art in gen, to search fror others when the output is right here. Being dictated by others and the state and who will give you money. No longer an effort of a cast and crew who want to convey things. But google [any country] independent cinema, radical cinema, queer radical cinema, or even retrospectives on the cinema and rethinking what is queer and radical in film. What if we took that, diluted it, got rid of the creators who put themselves through all the work, ignroe al the nuances and do……………….two actors who are conventionally attractive with no chemistry making out.

It’s the same here lets say daniel kaluuya winning the oscar for the film about the BPP. I heard it was okay and not too offensive but it still isnt’ enough. It still isn’t like hwood isn’t trash, nnati black, misogynistic towards BW and women, and all that other shit. It was pushy but it can’t be enough where we are. Black KKKlansmen i think won an oscar, by circumstance i fuckin hate these award shows they mean nothing, and i like the film a lot but he has his misogynoir still resting in his films even if it is poignant. And it was a film that honestly wasn’t really made for black people. And should all art be a response to direct trauma or trying to make ourselves palatable when we’re just human?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and it’s importance (capitalism) but also sorta individual responsibility

Considering a lot of these actors are rich and then just dip that’s another problem. Mainstream isn’t what sustains marginalized art ever. It doesn’t change in the vast ways we think it does. What changes is the people of these groups pushing, fighting, forcing and then capitalism trying to make it work under capitalism. It will not. It cannot.

This is why artists and labels often don’t mix or you see people like Sonic Youth doing whatever they want and pissing off their label but making them give them money. Same with Nirvana. Vince Staples. The thing is they can fight and make good shit but what capitalism helps people….not care? They don’t respect the audience? We’re getting those returns on poor executed product placement, lighting, editing, framing, fucking acting. And you surewon’t see mixed black asians in these shows. WHY R U is the oNLY one i have seen it in and he just disappears (but that was pretty cool.) so who the fuck is this representing? And before you start: asian countries are not homogenous the way we believe them to be. There are marginalized communities outside of even mixed people that are harmed. So you can skrrt cause on that one: you’re wrong buddy. But it gives us the IDEA of a paradise which is what they NEED.With representation and visibility comes consequence and responsibility as artists. What it allows them to do is coast and not think complexly because why should they; it’s mostly the fantasies of some older woman who probably has money and much less interaction with the world. It’s bonkers. And what that allows even further is for them to say YOU ARE THE THING THAT YOU CONSUME and the THING THAT YOU CONSUME IS YOURS. It is not, it is not your identity, form a close bond but figure it the fuck out. Especially for adults who are hellbent on twisting their minds into pretzels and can’t acknowledge what’s just laziness in art and not giving a fucking shit. Truly.

There’s damage that has been done from Parasite as he was supported by CJE&M and the bullshit obsession america had and eveyrone��s poor interpretation of it if they are rich. BJH is a socialist and he is a filmmaker. He has made films that are outstanding and cost a lot of money. But now a fear for indie filmmakers is just not being able to raise that much or have that much attention. Getting funding that helps them instead of expecting the Next Big Thing that is a fad because capitalism is trash. Yes this funneling of money is absolutely harmful to us artists. Even buying in is strategic. Additionally, that film is probs one of the most radical films to have that wide release and accolade (unlike “Sorry to Bother You” which i have a lot of thoughts about. One being that asian exports are acceptable but black ones are not. This is an overall art critique and global media critique. Blackness is removed, not respected.) However, filmmaking isn’t green, it can’t be socialist, and it’s a lot of work. They used tons and tons and TONS of water to do a huge beautiful feat but we still know there is a cost. We have to figure that out because it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t go back into the crew’s pockets the way it should and the work becomes that of the director’s and actors solely. It’s fucking hard. We have to do our part but it doesn’t mean we are doing it perfectly. We just have to try to do better. So does BJH cos he needs to not be a misogynist but anyways i digress.

additionally and this is something some users fail to understand: people in the media sphere generally have fucking money. I went to film school that was international with super fucking rich kids. Taiwanese kids, kids from south asia, china, thailand. They had money. No not upper middle class money, not “rich” money, not some paltry 1m that’s chump change. Fucking money. Fucking RICH-RICH. MILLIONAIRES. BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS DISGUSTING MIGHT I ADD. The domestic people didn’t have the money for school (in the UK) and i am in a massive amount of debt like every other black student that went there. You do not understand how much money is needed to survive so people who turn to these crew positions even casting etc need this fucking money usually. OKAY. A lot of the people that do well in these dumb shows or even on a larger scale HAVE MONEY. The reason these industries are small and struggling is because of lack of people and lack of resources to independent shit because oh gee it takes money to make things.

Why should I try? Well you don’t have to really if you have money or a name. Yet...

We can tell when like those Tik Tok shows or DCOMs dont give a shit (anymore.) You know how frustrated we get when content for young people is garbage? Well, see, BL is literally that under that system. Occasionally we will get something good now but there is virtually no need in any sector in the world at this point to truly figure out how to make it better and what to do to enhance artistic literacy, outreach, teaching people new things, getting people from these communities there and having true realistic says. Art and culture is IMPERATIVE TO WORLD LIBERATION but not when it is so stiffly trying to bend to capital’s idea of progressiveness. No. Neoliberalism. No.

That’s why in a way ITSAY is a huge feat; it takes from films etc and they clearly had money (the actors rae rich too which….lmaooooo j’aime pas) but it was a respected fucking script, acting was important, blocking, framing. There’s very little to critique as a visual medium for that because I understand what they are trying to do, their market is going to be mostly young girls, but they RESPECT THE FUCKING AUDIENCE. And guess what guys? You can make money from it!!!! WOAH! Since that may be the only goal which is disgusting and repulsive.

HOWEVER AND THIS IS WHAT IS SAD: itsay is an ex of a great show however knowing the actors backgrounds and the pseudo trouble it stirred when they weren’t supporting people protesting against the coup in the summer it really put a damper on my enjoyment. And this is how we can see that:

a) it’s honestly just a show and a good one but b) now what?

These kids (actors, who are like idk 19? 20?) are rich and not saying anything while countless actors, who were filming, did. Even tul who has $$$$ and the thing is the protesting against the coup legitimately attacks the rich. As it should. The protests going on were cries for help, against a dictatorship and fucking coup, asking people to get fucking help for covid, having kids be able to live. There’s a mini on VICE about this and it probably doesnt go too in depth but there’s a kid in there who talks about his friends getting into drugs and how he just wants to make music, have fun, skateboard. And it’s harrowing to see. This is a direct example of what these things do and don’t do. Yea we know a good show is here, we know growing up and slice of life, we know this is a bit of escapism and idealism but the idealism is reflected in the way these actors also choose to live their lives. So what progress? To who? For who? How is this helping me? What purpose does it serve? I say ITSAY serves its purpose as a piece and a glimpse into possibility of growing up but i do not say it antagonizes a broader issue that needs to be relevant in some sense but simply is not. It’s very singleminded and, well, it’s sort of like “besides my sexuality, what do i have to worry about?” But for real humans like....a lot. I do not respect their decision at all.

Why can’t we do our jobs and make something decent and respect our audience? No time, gotta make that sweet sweet sweet cash baybee. Look how progressive we are! Don’t look at history and material conditions. Thanks in advance, management.

History 4 does not have that respect. Many of these shows do not. Sometimes we hit good, sometimes we don’t. But in the end we cannot settle. And I won’t. If I am critiquing something I will not be shy and if I am meant to enjoy something as escapism then these shows NEED to highlight that and it’s rare sometimes (the best twins is a good reminder like that show is bad but man do i Brain Empty when i turn it on and i like that and there’s not much in it that makes me want to kill myself from annoyance but there are transphobic jokes i dont love however the whole show is a comedy about this dude’s crazy homophobic sister and she is constantly positioned as wrong and they talk about the aforementioned trans women as the actor was in drag. Interesting that they can manage that, huh?)

Oh btw.....taiwan has a very complicated history but ignore all the bad stuff it’s good now you can kinda sorta get married and stuff. KMT? You know how i learned that? I care about human beings and read about it lmao. I am not Taiwanese and look at that. So now I have historical and DIALECTICAL~**~*~****~*~*~ context so i can judge it as an artist, a black woman from america, and from the knowledge i have to pick up on their history to see if this fits into a broader picture besides the micro-one of sexuality on an individualized level. And this is kinda where it comes full circle: these shows are not you, you are not them, they do not exist in a vacuum because nothing does. The failure to critique now means continuing on as it has and it will still do so. History and time are not linear in the sense we think it is. Someitmes things are better, sometimes things feel more austere. We are not living under liberation though and these shows are not going to do so. So they are not US nor are they for a nebulous “us” of which the groups are all fractured and have diff opinions anyway (my opinion as a black american is going to vary from an asian woman’s say and that could really clash and i do not feel solidarity with all those in every community i am for several reasons.)

Final thots that have taken up my time and the only thing i actually wanted to write but got distracted:

Anyway my dissertation is that I ilke Muren and LiCheng a lot a lot and i like how cute they are and how truly dumb li cheng is. This is an example of mostly good writing, decent actors, nice chemistry, and sort of a calmness to them. And I super enjoy how Muren is pretty forward with LC in the sense that being together is like very important to truly be together. When he was like “no i didnt forget!” Or when LC asked him something in the office I forget it was 6 am and again i almost threw up and muren nodded and then LC leaned on him. Very cute. I want more of them tho i may have to skip that othre couple (the cameo the ones from MODC) but omfg the younger one HIS HAIR GREW SO MUCH HE LOOKS SO MATURE AND CUTE OMFGIJ0HUG9SAOGIJPKOAGJSIOHUAGIJP hahhaha the one good thing i will say about THEM.idk how old the actor is i figure he was young idk it makes me happy to see him he’s very cute. I hope he’s in something i can watch and not gag at. Is he hot? Who knows but he is a cutie!!

Anyway muren and lc have a good thing going it’s nice to watch ho\pe they dont fuck it up but im truly a sucker for some true finds 2 luvas i think some user on her\e was like i’m not a fan of friends ot lovers bc it doesn’t seem like they’re actually friends and maybe they were referring to this show idk. But it made me think and it was a very good observation. So i think they are friends and also luvrs <3

#history 4 #history 4: close to you #i told sunset about you #a thot #tharntype #lovely writer #bl fandom #idk #lol #long

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magicflowershop · 4 years ago

Text

one day kitty; Atsumu version

《inspired by movie A Whisker Away》

✿✿ you wished to be with the person you like and wish granted. whiskers, button nose, tail, four legs and ears on top of the head; you turned into a cat. with this, you are given the opportunity to be with the person you want to express your affections to. but as a cat. and only in one day.

― haikyuu characters x cat!reader imagines!

❀ masterlist ❀

the wheel of names have spoken.

you know you hated your housecat the second you laid eyes on it when your mum took it home one day from the shelter, saying it was an abandoned cat

abandoned cat your ass

that cat stole your body and turned you into a cat

she stole your human identity

like, girl, wha- the auDACITY for her to have you wake up on her stinky litterbox while she’s havin the time of her life talking to your parents as if you were in that body the entire time

and the audacity of her to go to school and attend your classes, talk to your friends while you’re over there lurking in the shadows, glaring lasers at her from a tree branch

and the absolute audacityyy of her to obviously ogle over a guy from your class when you weren’t even interested in him to begin with

THE NERVE OF IT TO BE ATSUMU MIYA OF ALL PEOPLE

REALLY

why

why him when he has so many fans and the fact that he’s perpetually ANNOYED by his fans like c’mon????????????????????

IN YOU’RE BODY AT THAT

now you’re just extra helpless bc there’s nothing you can do, you have no idea when you’ll get back to your original body, or if you’re able to get back to your original body at all :O

you also dunno who she made a deal with to get to this point in your lives

all you know is that you had a bad dream that morning, and saw a strange cat sayin you had one day

like what the hell is that supposed to mean

“hey what’re ya doin there?”

o wouldya look at that, a wild Miya twins appeared

you didnt notice that you were taking your sweet time contemplating abt life on that tree that three periods have passed and its now lunch break

the twins happened to see you while they were hanging out outside

so you was just staring at them,,, you had no idea what to do while they were there,,,, but it seemed like they were thinkin of saving you even though you’re not in trouble :v

so you was just starin at them

and they were starin back at you

then they left

LMAO

you were gonna brush this lil interaction off until you arrived,,, i mean your body,,,, i mean your housecat in your body

then you got incredibly annoyed cause she was doin so hard so hard to get their attention when she ady got it, and Atsumu was as annoyed as you are sksskkd Osamu didn’t care at all so moving on

and now you got even mroe annoyed cause she was ruining your image in front of your classmates like srsly

so you dipped and decided this is all a fever dream and everything will get better tomorrow with you back in your body and with a good reputation in school as if nothing horrible happened, yes? yes :)

“there ya are”

until Atsumu picked you up from the ground while you were stealthily making your great escape,, then he started acting like he was lookin for you outta nowhere

and Osamu was lookin at him like he was insane sjksd but he figured this is a plan of Atsumu’s so he decided to play along and told your housecat (that was the host of your body) to excuse them bc they had a cat to take care of and that its vvvv urgent

now kitty you is officially adopted by the Miya twins <3

and you didn’t like it one bit HAHAJSJ

you figure this wasnt such a bad thing and you werent allergic to these boys nyway so you let things happen, and let Atsumu scratch the top of your head while they were discussing things about you

they werent talking mad things abt u nonono, they were talkin abt how strange you were acting when you’re literally one of the chill students in school,,, it was as if you were under a spell and suddenly you were in love with them lmao

Osamu proceeds to add the suspicion with the fact that he saw “you” staring at Atsumu during class like someone so lovestruck

both you and Atsumu got goosebumps couple of the year amirite

so Osamu told him that this could just be a one-time thing (like strange conclusion but go off) and/or that you might’ve just confused him as your first crush lmao Osamu was just confusing himself but he was tryin his best to come up with explanations to ur behavior

so classes begin again,,, now Atsumu still dunno what to do with u ogling at him WHILE THE REAL YOU WAS A CAT WATCHING EVERYTHING FROM A TREE

you was def ready to throw hands,, but thats a cat and ur against animal cruelty,,,,,,, tho its ur body anyway so whats the diff

meanwhile u coming up with a plan to end your housecat, Atsumu found you sitting on a tree and he was so shocked for his life bc last time he check he put you in a box with kitty snax, inside the gyms storage room, how in the world did you manage to get out from there??

the fake you sees you again while Atsumu was lookin at you from the window, and was enraged bc you’re taking the attention from her... hm

so you decided to face your stupid housecat head-on and get to the bottom of this bs and be grownups tgt bc no way are you just gonna donate your human life to an ungrateful animal

you look for the fake you at the back of the school, and now the Giorno theme is playing in the background sksk

“give me my body back”

“o pls can’t you just give me a one day chance?“

the audacity

“you ady stole it from me and you say this now?”

your housecat was smug enuff to tell you that she had the honors of asking a favor from a spirit cat who was the reason of all this,,, and who has also taken a liking to your human soul

your housecat just sold your human soul to a spirit cat

so you just flew in the air to scratch your human face, you didn’t care anymore, its your body, whatever, the one experiencing the pain aint u anyway but your bitchy housecat that your mum seemed to have a deeper connection with than her own child

nyway that didn’t last long cause fake you was screaming help, other students found you two, and they got a hold of you while you were in your feral state and now you were terrified of possibly getting into the animal shelter fr,,,, fake you smirked at this possibility

until sum of ur school’s vball bois saw the commotion too and what do u know, Atsumu says that the cat is his and that he apologizes to the ruckus that the cat has done

then it was your turn to smirk at fake you

so u spend time with Atsumu again for some odd reason that keeps the two of you tgt sweat drops looks away,,, you wonder why your mum’s cat is so attached and/or attracted to Atsumu like this???

you never remember them interacting at all since the very time you see them in the same scene is when you went to have your mum’s cat checked up in the vet and Atsumu was there with their dog too

whats happening

fast forward to dismissal, you’re quite thankful you werent in trouble, same as Atsumu since he managed to tell the other students to not tell anything to the teacher that he has a cat in school kdjsk sum rotten power he holds

but you decided to ditch him again and look for fake you

you found her talking to the spirit cat that she said,, so naturally you demanded said spirit cat to give your body back to you

the spirit cat smiled wider and says that, you haven’t finished your task yet if you want to get back to your original body, you have to wait till midnight

like what in the hell was that supposed to mean, you understood nOTHING

then your housecat goes and says “maybe i should extend my stay in this body, what do you think?”

SIS YOU WENT FERAL there is no way she’s staying in your body while you are sufferin like this, in which you do not deserve. watching your housecat ruin your life like its normal like cmon

“then if you’re gonna stay in my damn body then do it properly! don’t make me look like im a flirt!”

“i was never flirting with anyone!”

“wdym?! you were staring at my classmate the entire time!”

“what was i supposed to do when its what your body felt like doing?!?!?”

...

w hAt

“what’cha screamin at the cat for, y/n?”

ATSUMU JUST ENTERED THE SCENE AS IF HE WAS INVITED AND PICKED THE CAT UP TRYING TO PROTECT IT AS IF WHAT HE WAS DOING WAS SO HELPFUL

“i’m not y/n”

NOW YOUR HOUSECAT JUST ADDED MORE GAS IN THE FLAME

“i’m y/n’s pet cat, that cat is y/n we switched bodies bc y/n has been neglected by her parents ever since i was taken for adoption... y/n has a crush on you so i just reacted the way her body wanted to react around you so i’m sorry i made you uncomfortable”

you couldn’t take the embarrassment anymore and jumped from Tsumu’s hands and ran your way to your house as fast as you can

you thought abt how stupid that was and how stupid you looked in front of him,, like pointing at a cat saying that thats the real you like who in the heaven’s name would believe bs like that

you were beyond embarrassed that you just want to sink into the ground and just disappear from life rn and never see Atsumu again,,, anyone is fine but Atsumu pls for the love of god

“well ofc its a narrower place”

didn’t you say anyone but Atsumu is fine pls for the love of god

“get outta there, i got yer mask”

he placed a mask beside you, so you chomped on that mask and pulled it out of the bush with you,, you see him there crouching down to your smol height, watching you in concern

you try to take off your mask yourself but it isnt working, you try to push your head to make your actual mask stick to your head but it isn’t working. nothing is working so you started crying in meow

now tsumu is just confused there and asked if he can comfort you,,, you glared at him like he was stupid

“yer still a girl yknow, i gotta ask for consent”

how sweet 🥺

he started talking abt how he and ur housecat tried to talk it out with the creepy cat to get ur normal life back bc apparently you never wished for a deal with him even tho u desperately hated ur life at home, all in all spirit cat is a big ass scam, while he was unknowingly scratching the top of your head again but moving on

also that your housecat wanted to apologize to you bc she didnt want to take your life away from u, and that she never meant to hurt your feelings while running his hand down to your back and forgetting that you aren’t a real cat but again moving on

“is, is it true tho?”

“ya like me?”

dumass rly asked that while ur a cat lol

“it’s a meow for me”

smoke escaped your nostrils like a bull, the stupid spirit cat was playin games withcha since he ady got exposed for his scams >:O

“ya just spoke”

you left Atsumu there with the mask between your teeths, dragging yourself back home, expecting to probably go back to normal once you wake up,,, but you have your mask back now hm

“don’tcha want sum help?”

k ykno he’s annoying when he wants to be but he literally had no reason to be annoying know i mean pls

“sure i like u it doesn’t m-”

you’re back to normal

“matter”

but wearing what you wore when you went to bed last night, in pajamas with no footwear, on the cold asphalt ground, blushing like a fool out of even more embarrassment, cursing at the spirit cat sum more from the back of your mind

that cat had no right to play match-maker after all that, even if he knew that Atsumu will naturally bring you hope since its night and give you a piggy-back ride since you had no slip-ons, asking for consent as well mind you

no right at all

stay tuned for more!

#walk in my garden #yay i updated today #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu!! headcanons #haikyuu!! smau #haikyuu!! drabble #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu!! x reader #atsumu #atsumu miya #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu x y/n #inarizaki #one day kitty

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iridescentides · 4 years ago

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hi again dia! happy first day of december ❤️💚 i wanted to ask you what, in your opinion, are the 5 most underrated dcoms? i remember you saying before that you've watched all of them so i'd love to hear your opinions 😊 - 🎅🎁🎄

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH secret santa you are so good! asking me all the best questions 💜

okay so i literally had to make a list of all the dcoms i consider underrated and then narrow down a top 5. theres lots of dcoms that i love, but that i think got the right amount of attention and care (like lemonade mouth and the teen beach movies, for example), so this list just focuses on ones that deserved more hype for their quality level.

5. The Cheetah Girls: One World (2008)

okay so even as i type this i feel like a hypocrite. i have only watched this movie one time. BUT i can acknowledge that its one of the most criminally underrated dcoms ever, tons of people didnt watch it simply because raven wasnt in it. thats why i avoided it as a child, and i didnt get around to watching it until i did my big dcom binge in 2016. and it was so good. theres a really long post floating somewhere around tumblr full of specifics on why its actually the best cheetah girls movie (my favorite is the second one purely out of nostalgia), so to paraphrase some points from that post:

its a solid example of cultural appreciation, rather than appropriation, as the girls go and learn about bollywood and indian culture together

the indian characters arent treated like props or unimportant sides, they get their own agency and storylines that are important

the songs are good!!!

basically this movie was overlooked and slept on even though in terms of role modeling and social value, and just like the first two cheetah girls movies it was important and impactful.

4. Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011)

okay so as someone whos very neutral and occasionally negative-leaning towards the hsm franchise (mostly bc its overhyped and not really representative of all dcoms), i was pleasantly surprised by sharpays fabulous adventure. this is another one that i know lots of people skipped right over and dont hold with as much esteem as the main hsm franchise, and that doesnt sit right with me.

i do not agree with the “uwu sharpay was the real victim in hsm” arguments bc in their efforts to look galaxy brained the people who say that overlook the fact that she was a rich white woman who used her power and status to exercise control over opportunities that should have been fairly and freely available for all; they were not “making a mockery of her theater” in the first movie, they were literally just kids who wanted to try out a new school activity that everyone was supposed to be allowed to participate in; and despite allegedly learning her lesson and singing we’re all in this together with everyone at the end of the first movie, she literally showed no growth in the second movie as she fostered an openly hostile environment and favored troy so heavily that it literally cost him his friends, all as part of yet another jealous plan to take things away from people who already have less than her. she was NOT the victim in the main franchise, and she did not seem to exhibit any growth or introspection either.

and that!!! is why sharpays fabulous adventure was so important. in focusing on sharpay as the main character, they finally had to make her likeable. they did this by showing actual real growth and putting her outside of her sphere of influence and control. we saw true vulnerability from her, instead of the basic ass “mean girl is sad bc shes actually just super insecure” trope (cough cough radio rebel), and this opened us up to finally learn about and care about her character. throughout the movie we see her learn, from her love interests example, how to care for others and be considerate. she faces actual adversity and works through it, asking herself what she truly wants and what shes capable of. and in the end, when she finally has her big moment, we’re happy for her bc she worked hard to get there. she becomes a star through her own merit and determination, rather than through money and connections. this movie is not perfect by any means, but it is severely underrated for the amount of substance it adds to sharpays character.

3. The Swap (2016)

okay i know im gonna get shit for this but thats why its on this list!!! just like sharpays fabulous adventure, its not perfect and definitely misses the mark sometimes, but it deserves more attention and love for all the things it did get right!

the swap follows two kids who accidentally switch bodies because of their emotional attachment to their dead/absent parents’ phones. and while i normally HATE the tv/movie trope of a dead parent being the only thing that builds quick sympathy for a young character, they definitely expanded well enough to where we could root for these kids even without the tragedy aspect. we see them go through their daily struggles and get a feel for their motivations as characters pretty well. as a body switching movie, we expect it to be all goofy and wacky and lighthearted, but it moves beyond that in unexpected ways.

the reason the swap is on this list is for its surprisingly thoughtful commentary on gender roles. its by no means a feminist masterpiece, and its not going to radicalize kids who watch it, but it conveys a subtle, heartfelt message that deserves more appreciation. the characters struggle with the concept of gender in a very accurate way for their age, making off-base comments and feeling trapped by the weight of expectations they cant quite put their finger on. we watch them feel both at odds with and relieved by the gender roles they are expected and allowed to perform in each others bodies, and one of the most interesting parts of the movie to me is their interactions with the other kids around them. as a result of their feeling out of place in each others environments, the kids inadvertently change each others friendships for the better by introducing new communication styles and brave authenticity.

the value of this movie is the subtle, but genuine way it shows the characters growing through being given the space to act in conflicting ways to their expected norms. ellie realizes that relationships dont have to be complex, confusing, and painful, and that its okay to not live up to appearances and images. jack learns that emotional expression is good, healthy, and especially essential to the grieving process. one of the most powerful scenes in the movie comes at the end where, after ellie confronts jacks dad in his body, jack returns as himself to a very heartfelt apology from his father for being too hard on him; the explicit message (”boys can cry”) is paired with an open expression of love and appreciation for his kids that he didnt feel comfortable displaying until his son set an example through honest communication. this is such an empowering scene and overall an empowering movie for kids who may feel stuck in their expected roles, as it sets a positive example for having the courage to break the restrictive societal mold. for its overall message of the importance of introspection and emotional intelligence, the swap is extremely underrated.

2. Freaky Friday (2018)

this is my favorite dcom, and probably my favorite movie at this point. ive always assigned a lot of personal value to this movie (and i love every freaky friday in general), for the message of selfless familial love and understanding. i know i can get carried away talking about this topic; i got an anon ask MONTHS ago asking me about the freaky friday movies and i wrote a super super long detailed response that i never posted bc i didnt quite finish talking about the 2018 movie. and thats bc on a personal level, i cant adequately convey all the love i have for this movie. so i will try to keep this short.

first lets state the obvious: the reason people dont like this movie is bc its not the lindsay lohan version. and i get that, to an extent, bc i also love the 2003 version and its one of my ultimate comfort movies, and grew up watching it and ive seen it a billion times. i even watched it a couple days ago. but the nostalgia goggles that people have on from the early 2000s severely clouds their judgement of the wonderful 2018 remake.

yes, the 2018 version is dorky, overly simplistic plot wise, a bit stiff at times, and super cheesy like any dcom. the writing isnt 100% all the time. the narrative takes a couple confusing turns. the song biology probably shouldnt have been included. i understand this. but at the heart of it all, this movies value is love. and its edge over all the other freaky friday movies is the songs.

on a personal level, the movie speaks heavily to me. i cried very early into my first viewing of the movie bc i got to see dara renee, a dark-skinned, non-skinny actress, playing the mean popular girl on disney channel. that has never happened before. growing up, i saw the sharpays and all the other super thin white women get to be the “popular” girls on tv, and ultimately they were taken down in the end for being mean, but that doesnt change the fact that they were given power and status in the first place for being conventionally beautiful. so, watching dara renee strut around confidently and sing about being the queen bee at this high school got to me immediately. and in general, the supporting cast members of color really mean a lot to me in this movie. we get to see adam, an asian male love interest for the main character. we have a second interracial relationship in the movie with katherines marriage to mike. ellies best friend karl is hispanic. and we see these characters have depth and plot significance, we see them show love, care, and passion for the things they value. the brown faces in this movie are comforting to me personally. additionally, the loving, blended family dynamic is important to me as someone in a close-knit, affectionate step-family.

but on a more general level, this movie is underrated for its skillful musical storytelling and the way it conveys all kinds of love and appreciation. in true freaky friday fashion, we watch ellie and katherine stumble and misstep in their attempts to act like each other. its goofy and fun. but through it all, the music always captures the characters’ intimate thoughts and feelings. the opening song gives us a meaningful view into ellie and katherines relationship and the fundamental misunderstandings that play a role in straining their connection. ellie sings about how she thinks her mom wants her to be perfect, and her katherine sings about all the wonderful traits she sees in her daughter and how she wants her to be more open and self assured. this is meaningful bc even as theyre mad at each other, the love comes through. the songs continue to bring on the emotional weight of the story, as ellie sings to her little brother about her feelings of hurt and abandonment in her fathers absence. the song “go” and its accompanying hunt scene always make me cry bc of the childlike wonder and sense of adventure that it brings. for the kids, its a coming of age, introspective song. for katherine who gets to participate in ellies body, its a reminder of youth and the rich, full life her daughter has ahead of her. she is overcome with excitement, both from getting to be a teenager again for a day, and from the realization that her daughter has a support network and passions that are all her own. today and ev’ry day, the second to last song, is the culmination of the lessons learned throughout the movie, a mother and daughters tearful commitment to each other to love, protect, and understand one another. the line “if today is every day, i will hold you and protect you, i wont let this thing affect you” gets to me every time. even when things are hard and dont go according to plan, they still agree, in this moment, to be there for each other. and thats what all freaky friday stories are ultimately about.

freaky friday 2018 is a beautiful, inclusive, subversive display of familial love, sacrifice, and selflessness, and it is underrated and overlooked because of its more popular predecessor.

1. Let It Shine (2012)

this is another one of my favorite dcoms and movies in the whole world. unlike the other movies on this list, it is not the viewers themselves that contribute to the underrated-ness of this movie. disney severely under-promoted and under-hyped this movie in comparison to its other big musical franchises, and i will give you five guesses as to why, but youll only need one!

let it shine is the most beautifully, unapologetically black dcom in the whole collection. (i would put jump in! at a notable second in this category, but that one wasnt underrated). this movie was clearly crafted with care and consideration. little black kids got to see an entire dcom cast that represented them. the vernacular used in the script is still tailored mostly to white-favoring audiences, but with some relevant slang thrown in there. in short, the writers got away with the most blackness they were allowed to inject into a disney channel project.

the story centers on rap music and its underground community in atlanta, georgia. it portrays misconceptions surrounding rap, using a church setting as a catalyst for a very real debate surrounding a generational, mutlicultural conflict. this was not a “safe” movie for disney, given its emphasis on religious clashes with contemporary values. it lightly touches on issues of image policing within the black community (cyrus’s father talking about how “our boys” are running around with sagging pants and “our girls” are straying away from god), which is a very real and pressing problem for black kids who feel the pressure (from all sides) of representing their whole race with their actions. its a fun, adorable story about being yourself and staying true to your art, but also a skillful representation of struggles unique to black and brown kids and children from religious backgrounds.

on top of crafting a fun, wholesome, thoughtful narrative and likeable protagonists, let it shine brought us what is in my opinion the BEST dcom soundtrack of all time. every single song is a bop. theyre fast, fun, and lyrically engaging. “me and you” is my favorite disney channel song of all time due to its narrative significance; i will never forget my first time watching the movie and seeing that big reveal unfold onstage, as a conversation and a plot summary all wrapped into a song. the amount of thought and care that went into the music of this movie should have been rewarded with a level of attention on par with that of other musical dcoms.

if disney channel had simply cared about let it shine more, it couldve spanned franchises and sold songs the way that other musical dcoms have drawn in success. i would have loved for a sequel that explored and fleshed out cyrus’s neighborhood a little bit more, and maybe dipped into that underground scene they caught a glimpse of. i wanted a follow up on the changed church community once cyrus’s father started supporting his sons vision. i want so much more for these characters and this world than disney gave them in just one movie.

for its bold, unabashed representation of blackness and religion, subtle, nuanced presentation of race-specific issues, strong, likeable characters, and complex, thoughtful songs, let it shine is the most underrated dcom.

and because i made a full list before i started writing this post, here are some honorable mentions:

going to the mat (2004)

gotta kick it up! (2002)

tru confessions (2002)

dont look under the bed (1999)

invisible sister (2015)

#this took me embarassingly long to write #i cant help myself i literally think about this all the time #youre doing a great job with these questions secret santa!#dcoms #disney channel #answered asks #anons #gcwca secret santa #Anonymous

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boglog · 6 years ago

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HoC Onion !

[TW mention of sexual abuse/violence]

I’m foregoing the pros/cons format here but generally-speaking my negative points are still gathered at the top w the highlights near the end.

Obviously, between letting a sex offender have a platform in mass media and potholes, I’d choose the latter. My below crits absolutely are not a demand for Spacey to be brought back and he can die in a fire for all i care. I just wish his character’s absence was not the nº1 reason for this season not making any sense

as far as i can gather, this season’s primary arc is as much about Frank’s death (in lieu of Doug’s) as it is Claire’s emotional and political divorce from Frank while she undergoes your traditional postbreakup analysis of who she was pre Frank and post Frank and were Frank actually there this idea might have legs

...but instead we have Doug ://

the level of intensity that the plot demands cannot be carried by forcing Doug into being a deeper character than he was intended, all the way until the end, he truly just reads as either a pitiful sadist or a henchman. It’s disharmonious and dangerously close to bad.

Frances Underwood makes more sense if Frank dies in episode 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She’s literally going to be his reincarnation!!!!!!!

literally...who cares if Doug gets stabbed by Frank’s letter opener? whomst?

Doug can’t be Frank’s proxy, but sans a certain pedoph*le, the plot will just have to suffer.

Other side effects of Doug’s undeserved promotion include but are not limited to:

forcing Doug to share the role of antagonist with the Shepards, yet another New Villain © that feels totally unnecessary and confusing (the Conways at least got two seasons)

Frank’s diary feels forced and out of character for someone decidedly so unsentimental

How does Claire have a bun in the oven when she clearly didnt sleep with Frank for all of season 5 and locked herself in her room while he was being assassinated? How is a Dramatic paternity test not going to be insisted upon in the show’s universe?

fixation on Frank’s will as a McGuffin is really... I don't know boring considering no one cares for the guy? What property of his does claire stand to lose? I’m sure the rich people fandom can speculate but i honestly needed this manifested in the show via some examples instead of the grand abstraction that is The Will bc losing Frank’s assets would set Claire back but it would not directly threaten her presidency. Not to mention that i’m not entirely sure Frank’d have Doug of all people as his sole heir if it didn't serve as revenge against Claire, which just lowers Doug’s importantance even more

Frank never cared for Doug, a largely unlikeable character, which we already knew from the beginning, so Doug’s entire arc is pathetic at best as well as his tangential inclusion in the Cliare v Frank arc

My major problems with Doug’s character began as early as season 4.

Did not understand why they didn't actually have Doug switch sides by joining the Dunbar campaign in earnest in season 4. Like... it’s such an obvious opportunity to Thicken The Plot © that it’s reached this gif levels of dropping the ball:

P much everything about Doug’s character since then is just so.... lacking, while for the last few seasons they give him depth when he magically has empathy for one (1) woman before she dies (possibly as a direct result of his actions). This entire plot about him evaluating why he was so loyal to Frank could've been unpacked whilst he avoids Dunbar finding out about the murders he did commit. I’d rather him having agency than be a flat, troubled underling.

Aright I'm going to stop complaining about Doug. In season 3 and 4, his insecurity over being replaced and his sacrifices for Frank (and subsequent guilt) came close to giving us a real Moment with him as we delve more into how colourless his life outside of work really is. But beyond that, when his character started getting repetitive, there’s very little to compensate for his alternating acts of extreme narcissism/violence versus his childish confusion / self pity when he doesn’t get what he wants.

Anyways I'm basically at a point where I’d be okay if Frank’s long-lost cousin replaced Doug replacing Frank

I’m appreciating the writers’ distinct refrain from plot formats and that the seasons progressively move towards the Underwoods but what if just for circularity and added balance we return to having a full-on reporter B plot in s6? More emphasis on Janine and Tom’s sleuthing, culminating in Tom’s assassination and Janine publishing the tell-all expose against Frank---including a reference to Zoe---that becomes the magnum opus of her career (and Claire using that against Frank). I just think the season needed more balance that Doug, the Shepards and Tom were not offering

The Shepards and Tom, meanwhile, are decidedly banal. First of all, I had a hard time even telling Bill and Tom apart esp given that they were introduced one after the other. All white guys are the same.

Bill just kind of sits around until he has a platform to reference his favourite action movies doesn't he?

Moreover what does Tom do!? he doesn't want power, he doesnt seem to want anything. He’s just kind of there?

Unlike the Conways, the Shepards don’t have a clear goal and are not often in direct conflict with Claire the way Frank and Conway were. They want to control the presidency for money and Claire is always bouncing back from reliving her girlhood to political rivalry w Anette, yes, but what does that mean? What are the consequences? The logistics are so indirect and complicated, what precisely does Anette want? And why does anyone care? The Shepards are extremely boring.

Frank’s asides were purple and long af so I appreciate Claire’s succinct style not to mention her fantastic screen presence. I’m left to wonder, though, if maybe hers and every other aside in HoC is a little too on the nose. Like, they didn't hafta spell it out that the bird in the wall was a representation of Frank’s shadow trapping her, I think we got that

The artistic intercuts to Claire’s troubled childhood wherein a group of bullies coerce her into stripping naked through the forest, while visually stunning and clever for its self-explanatory nature, feel really passive. They don't visually show us any reason for her not to resist, the bullies even let her keep her clothes after cutting them off her so we’re left to wonder why she does nothing....

Claire was raised to be ~proper~ so her resistance (likely) comes in the form of biting, passive-aggressive poise which is hard to get across in a silent montage but it just feels.. weird

Frances Underwood is going to have a very sad childhood

nearly all the Claire flashbacks are cinematic masterpieces and as much i think Claire’s backstory deserves more attention, i also appreciate the minimalism and the choice humanising moments of her adolescence

listen I'm sure we all agree Robin Wright is peak acting but the actor for young Claire, who has the arguably harder task of copying Wright is fantastic

Of all the characters who crop up every season seemingly out of nowhere only to disappear once more once when the plot the Underwoods are done with them, Jane is one of my favourites and possibly one of the greyest characters alive. Smart, mysterious, worldly, a bit of a hippie despite her job, severe despite her sense of humour. Really loves her extremely pedestrian surname. We stan.

Secondary characters rarely get anything close to a backstory on this show, esp ones that were introduced so late. Still, her motivations seem more complicated then others (i.e. betraying Cathy, one of two people she cares about) and I wonder if they deserve a bit more of an explanation. Especially seeing as she has a relationship with every major character.

If anyone deserves a spin-off it might be Jane and her name-dropping career/social life

Cathy faking her own death with a terrible french accent? On stan !!!

Seth teasing Doug even while he’s completely undervalued by everyone around him is a power move

Impressed that they managed three characters named Tom, their distinctly different appearances and the fact that they're almost never in the same POV shots works to separate them.

Claire using the word “female” even facetiously is cringe

Whenever they use the cinema room, the movie they watch is always symbolic. Before the 2017 election, Frank and Claire imitate the characters in Double Indemnity, and this season a pregnant claire watches Rosemary’s Baby. Clever.

i liked the whitehouse tour guide’s inclusion and the cameo from _____ though this season was especially white without their usual token secondary character

So overall i liked season 6 as an exploration of Claire’s character even while it did v little justice to most of the other characters and unfortunately spacey’s absence did affect the storyline

and finally: that cinnamontography !

Not that the series should be pushed past its prime, but wouldn’t it be interesting to see Claire as a mother?

#hoc #house of cards #robin wright #claire underwood #hoc season 6 #house of cards season 6 #u #c #onion post

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lilytcyip · 6 years ago

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December 31st, 2018.

1.10 didn’t make it into the pit, drank in aleung’s dorm

1.15 started bullet journaling

1.22 cambridge pkp admittance

1.29 very scenic drive on the way home from school - sun shining on tree branches after rain

2.2 first post on thesoftlyspoken

2.21 cactus catch up with fsyal, aleung, tlim

2.22 peoples day - little moments of fam having dindin together

3.21 succulents diy with ewong; parked car in garage alone for the first time

4.6 lost house key on bus the bus; supportive fam but also wanted help & someone to be there

4.22 sun run; hongdae pocha & soju with ewong

4.28 extreme air park with sis & cousin

5.1 a quiet place w/ fsyal

5.2 brunch w/ cwong, slim, acottle at twisted fork

5.2 baking chocolate cup cakes w/ rjin & painting; watched before i fall

5.3 psyc scaling; nice bed bath & beynd staff

5.16 main street & trafiq w/ ewong

5.16 tap & barrel w/ acao

5.17 meetup with nwu

5.17 bowling w/ fysal & aleung

5.18 neverland w/ rjin

5.20 avery tea w/ the fam

5.21 mott 32 with the fam ; flying away from sis for 3 months

6.7-6.11 kagoshima

6.9 sandbathing at hotel

6.20-7.7 europe trip

6.20 got upgraded to business flying to amsterdam

7.7-8.18 cambridge pkp

7.13 kuda clubbing & shots; littlearlgreys reached 1k

7.21 london w/ beth & bernice; met up with winnie; fortnum & mason tea, regent street shopping

7.28-7.29 liverpool with sherry, beth & bernice

8.4 brighton with the girls, sever sisters cliffs, pride parade, crowded train ride back to london

8.12 london with ber & beth, buckingham palace & f&m afternoon tea

8.17 talks with kristin, naoko & berber over drinks

8.18 berber dropped me off at coach stop & i teared up

8.19 had lady M at the airport alone

8.24 meet on main vegan food & bookstore w/ ewong

8.24 thierry & pc w/ efeng

8.25 aleung’s bday party @ suika & bowling

8.29 class 5 road test; efeng’s bday party & karaoke at forage

10.19 red velvet cupcakes baking w/ cwong, slim, acottle; held jaspter & petted him

10.26 ramen & chapters w/ slim, acottle & cwong

10.28 shopping w/ sis, new uniqlo coat & sweaters, beret

11.11 rose girls night w/ fsyal, nwu, claw, aleung

11.15 walked around & chilled (indian resident schools on campus) w/ acottle - these little moments

11.16 so hyang w/ acao; be careful with driving - almost missed motorist while shoulder checking, very close call

11.20 stepping on crisp fall leaves on my way to psyc 363 in the morning

12.19 girls movie night w/ aleung, fsyal, claw, tlim at fifis house

12.20 aurora w/ rjin & setting up profile on apps

12.21 sushi dinner, chocolate toffee cookies & lemon ricotta pancakes w/ acottle, slim & cwong at cottles house (: also petted dion

12.24 christmas eve dinner with the fam at pan pacific

12.25 seattle enchant & din tai fung with fam (nobody went on their phone during the meal and it made me feel very grateful)

12.25 workout to get fit question; lots of self-love & im very grateful ; had enough self respect to not let any toxicity into my life despite the attention

12.16 boxing day - over the knee steve madden boots

12.27 apple lesson & eggspectation brunch w/ mom (no phone, lots of talking), nail labo after

12.28 worked out w/ ewong

12.28 lunch at home, decor by sis & pics and prettiest cake at home and dindin @ sea harbour

12.29 matcha lava cake baking w/ ewong, boju, princess switch

12.31 eggspectation brunch & rc w/ aleung, lucas, fsyal

12.31 cocoru, snowy village & facetime countdown w/ cyu & efeng

looking back, there were so many opportunities and firsts in 2018 and for me personally, it was one of the years where i grew the most. i did spend my time more wisely in 2018! i did set up schedules by setting up productivity trackers, taking more effective notes, putting more effort into studying. did end up tracking the cups of water i drank but not with the plant tracker anymore ahaha also took on new workout challenges with arms & thighs and overall, in 2018, i focused on improving myself. the most impt milestone this year is definitely starting bullet journalling! its been something that i wanted to do for years and im so glad i discovered amandarachlee’s channel bc her videos are literally what gave me that little push into bullet journalling! bubz inspired me to challenge myself AGAIN ; i was never creative / good with doodling but i always thought learning how to draw titles was kinda stupid when i was younger bc teachers never appreciated the title, only the content - which was very understandable. my creativity / doodling were never validated but little did i know it all happened for a reason and these titles are now helping to me to incorporate the skills i learned into my journal! i always knew writing nicely would be of use one day, i just didn’t know it was meant to be used for bullet journaling and thesoftlyspoken. this also applied to school: as each day passes, my goal is getting more and more clear (: psyc 370 resparked my interest in psyc and everytime im so grateful that i could be there to learn more about our experiences on a neurological level. i know i belong in this program i thought i wouldnt enjoy psyc 300 but it was one of my favourite classes! talking to silvain about dealing with negativity from patients and attending a therapy session for the first time were definitely eye-opening. im more and more sure that therapy is what i want to do and i want to help that are struggling to see the beauty in life and that if we can feel and LIVE more if we just tweak the way we think a little bit. talking to silvain lifted a huge weight off my shoulders bc after a while, you do get used to it and that you learn that people are strong and resilient. you learn that people are strong and that they are capable of being happy and i just want to be a part of the journey for people that need a little more help. starting a bullet journalling also allowed me to realize that art can take on many forms and that i don’t have to be good at doodling to express myself creatively. i cant wait for all the themes /doodles im going to create in 2019! these last couple of days in dec, i was caught up on multiple apps on my phone that i didn’t get to read / be productive as much as i had hoped for. but its okay, i still had a good break and im still so so thankful that i got to spend quality time with family and friends. being on these apps were another good experience; im glad i had enough self-respect to not any toxicity into my life despite the amount of attention i got. i didnt know i had so much self-love in me and im so so thankful <3 i was also surprised and that a lot of my friends offered to be there for the bbt meetup and it just made me feel very loved bc i thought it was too much of a hassle. sister setting up the balloons / cake for my birthday was a beautiful surprise and i felt very very loved.

another big thing was definitely the exchange experience at pkp. those 6 weeks at cambridge, i made lifelong memories and met people that i would never forget. i bonded with hk people for the first time and it really felt like home. when youre alone and you go on solo trips and live independently, you learn so much about yourself. but getting to meet other people from other countries and seeing how our cultural differences influenced our ways of thinking was the most rewarding experience. i really needed to realize that and that we are all biased in our own ways. i was disappointed in myself on the brighton train trip but what i learned from that was that while it may seems like there’s nothing much you can do and that there will be moments when you feel weak and helpless, theres always SOMETHING that you could do for at least 1 person. more importantly, i needed to recognize the power imbalance issue does exist in first-world countries like the UK and that we could all be doing a little more

2018 was a year of discovering how much self-love i had, how much other people loved and cherished me, going on adventures, and that being thankful for all of you have before you ask for more. things you hoped for in 2018 did come true: the exchange / major both turned out okay and there’s no use in worrying about them bc they will all come together, one step at a time.

in 2019, continue to be grateful, patient, present, and dont forget to listen more. heres another year of memories, self-discovery and fun adventures on this journey called life (:

#personal #thoughts #2018 #diary #last post of 2018

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banghwa · 3 years ago

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how did you choose what to study in uni?? im so torn rn aaaaa how do people make such big decisions

honestly i didnt know what i wanted to do until my last year of highschool 😓 but i think thats a sentiment a lot of ppl share, even well into uni. its very understandable to be worried about such a big decision! i dont rly know what advice i can give on this that doesnt come off as a bit hypocritical bcs im in my fourth year and im still not 100% sure what i want to do after i graduate, but i think it comes down to looking at something you can see yourself doing. so long that its work that you think you will feel rewarded doing, whatever that means to you, you should be okay

also, idk how uni works where you are, but i think in most places, even if you take a major, you still have the opportunity to branch out and take electives that interest you, or to take a minor. thats what i did! i really like gender studies and its what i want my career after i graduate to revolve around, so i was able to take it as a minor. i also took a lot of electives, like german language, european history, greek mythology, witchcraft and religious studies etc etc. i think highschool is rly good at putting the pressure on ppl but honestly, at least where i am, uni is rly flexible, and if you realized your major isnt for you its not too hard to switch it up, especially if its in the same or similar field. i think too a lot of the time ppl dont end up in the career they majored in unless its rly specific and competitive, so if you realize after graduating that whatever you picked isnt what you want anymore, there will be opportunities to work with what you have. i know its really stressful and daunting, like youre setting plans for the rest of your life in stone but truly it does Not last, things WILL inevitably change, whether its you or your career or something else. no matter what, there wont be a clear cut path no matter how hard highschool tries to convince you otherwise. just do what feels right right now, know that change is normal and expected, and listen to it when it does eventually come to you in whatever form that may be.

#mwah sending u so much love angel! u got this!#💌#anonymous

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lkram · 4 years ago

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This got a little long and really long winded bc i was pissed but lmao heres my Apollo Justice rant lmao

okay so my main beef with the Apollo Justice series apart from how it just sorta fell off is the fact we just didnt???? get two more games to really flesh out the story a la Original Trilogy style. Not only was the transition between the two games jarring and poorly done with art styles and the switch from the two systems, but instead of fleshing out the characters more and giving us proper tie offs, we saddled with Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice which are lacking in So Many Things its hard to put them all down properly. We should have gotten more of the MASON system, more of how both Kristoph and Daryan's arrests affected Klavier and Apollo's subsequent (Blooming?? Wilting??? ) friendship from those experiences. Like YEAH losing his best friend isn't something Apollo can personally relate to ( dont @ me about dual destinies that shit is on my hitlist....and will be later in this rant lol ), but Apollo trained under Kristoph for presumable YEARS getting to know him and having "The Coolest Defense in the West" as his mentor. Someone he LITERALLY looked up to and having kristoph being a lying cheating self centered arrogant murderer and having to deal with someone you trusting - and in Klavier's instance - loving as a close family member - is something they are both unfortunately acquainted with. Having the next two games of a hypothetical Apollo Justice trilogy could have very well ended badly. lbr Justice For All didn't have the best cases (bigtop turnabout..........) but it did introduce previous characters in a very organic way and as well as new characters which brings me to my next point: Clay Fucking Terran. An Apollo justice trilogy would have made the LITERAL opportunity to introduce more of apollo's backstory more organically just like in JFA and T&T w/o unnecessary backflips to make it all fit Not only could we have gotten Clay Terran who is Not There To Be Killed Off, but also maybe a more cohesive backstory for Apollo other than whatever the FUCK was going on in SOJ????? We could have easily gotten more of Clay, a more fleshed out version of Klavier than whatever whitewashed pretty boy bullshit that was in DD, more of Vera or even the Kitakis, and more of......Trucy Wright. Y'know. Apollo's actual goddamn sister. And by extension Thalassa bc????? At the end of AJ AA they just......NEVER mention again that Apollo and Trucy and half siblings????? and if they actually had - guess what they could have also fleshed out those parts of Apollo's backstory maybe even Thalassa because we know nothing about her. like beyond a few key things nothing about her. But no because capcom likes making us suffer, we did not get an Apollo Justice Trilogy with more fleshed out interesting characters and the cases to back them up and even maybe the long lost sibling duo actually knowing they’resiblings. Instead we got Dual Destinies which wasn't bad! It just wasn't......satisfying. Especially with how they handled Athena, like introduce a new lawyer and we???? only get two court cases with her?? okay bet. But that is an entire different rant lol

basically it boils down to:

#ace attorney #apollo justice ace attorney #apollo justice #the music do be slappin tho like no matter what ace attorney music are BANGERS #which makes it even worse they have the fabulous soundtracks with like pisspoor writing and easy ass cases #dual destinies #spirit of justice #how am i supposed to take the music seriously when i saw the plot twist from like 5 miles in a thunderstorm away

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empathetic-cowboy · 5 years ago

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I honestly want to read all of your answer for those asks. 1-40? Or those you like the most c:

UHM HONESTLY THIS IS MY FAVOURITE ASK EVER !!!!!

Because I don’t have time to answer all 40, I’m going to give you TEN randomly picked questions from the list and answer below ~!

(thank you random number picker!!!!)

AND BE WARNED – THIS WILL PROBABLY GET LENGTHY.

40. Do you think the movies did the books justice?

Yes and no. I will stand forever and die on the Catherine-Hardwicke-Did-It-Best hill. Above them all, I’d say that Catherine captured the essence of the books the most accurately. Maybe it’s the blue filter, I don’t know, but she got that creepy/sad/romantic Forks vibe that drew me into the series in the first place. She really got the perfect balance of romance, action, fantasy, high school, the whole thing. So yeah, I think she did a great job with the books. Chris Weitz did alright with New Moon – I love the brownish, jacob-y vibe, I think they adapted the script well and did a fan-fucking-tastic job on the soundtrack too, so that one would be my second favourite book-to-movie. The other two? Eh. I think they lost something that the books had. Eclipse WAS my favourite when it first came out but watching them now, I feel like the last three movies are just missing something wonderful that the first two movies and the first three books (sorry bd) had.

28. How would you personally rewrite Twilight?

For those of you who haven’t seen it, I have a bit up on my personal twilight rewrite idea up here! It’s a little bare bones in terms of what I’d do with breaking dawn, but I can elaborate on that here!

Going with the rest of my switch-new-moon-and-eclipse-au, I’d have Bella changed and conflicted starting in BD. I think it would be SUPER interesting to have the main conflict be something to do with the volturi and the shape shifters. Maybe the clan and the pack finally join forces bc Bella is changed but still loves her Jake, but out in the world shapeshifters are showing up dead at the volturi’s hand or something ??????? and they need to band together to save the wolves and Jake before the volturi eliminate the species altogether.

Could be interesting, IDK. There’s a lot less renesmess and an opportunity still for Jake to meet Benjamin so I’m all for it.

37. What’s your perspective on Twilight now compared to when you first read it?

I think about this all the fucking time.When I first read Twilight, it was just before the first movie came out in 2008. I was almost twelve years old, and dumber than most twelve year olds, lbr. I didn’t see any issues in the book. I thought it was novel (pun intended), and romantic, and Hell, come Breaking Dawn I was even all aboard the Nessie train. I was SM brainwashed, kind of. I trusted our author. Coming back to Twilight in 2019 was a literal fucking shock to the system. I watched the movies for the first time in like five years, and was utterly shocked by the ample fucking problematic shit I noticed in every fucking scene. What hurt the most? Realizing my favourite character was the worst fucking show of racist propaganda in the entire goddamn series. I got angry when I watched the series again for the first time. I didn’t want anything to do with it. I felt ashamed, honestly. I felt bad looking at the piece of media, and seeing how twisted and disgusting and wrong so many parts of it were. But then I went online. I knew Twilight was becoming a thing again, and I didnt understand how such problematic media worked in this day in age, so I was curious to see what the discourse was like. Guys, I’m so fucking glad I did. There’s something so nice about being able to clearly see and discuss issues in this saga, while still appreciating that it digs into your nostalgia and has the opportunity to be so much bigger and better than SM ever intended. I love signing on here and seeing someone discuss our HCs – seeing how people take these characters and stretch and shift and mold them to embody what the world looks like today. I love coming here to read about favourites portrayed as characters of colour, or how said characters could be portrayed as trans, or nb, or gay, or how this character could be better shown as A, B, C – you catch my drift. It’s not just that, either. It’s not just the changes that I appreciate, either.

There’s something about acknowledging the things that can’t be changed within the original text – starting conversations about the treatment of native characters, discussing the portrayal of females presenting characters, working through SM’s religious biases – that not only helps me appreciate what this text should have been / can be now, but seriously, has helped me learn a lot along the way. I’m a very faulty white girl. Coming here and learning new perspectives from people who are impacted by specific biases / choices made in this series has been one of the most eye opening experiences I’ve had online. And that’s another thing – I’ve never once been criticized for still having so much to learn, un-learn, or understand from a different perspective. The people in this fandom (so far – I feel very lucky) have been more than open in discussing their criticisms, concerns, and understandings in a way that makes me feel welcome, and encouraged to learn/understand more. It’s a super inclusive fandom – freakin’ rare to see – but it’s also the kind of fandom that isn’t afraid to see its own faults – that’s even more rare. We’re all aware of our fandom’s problems, and we aren’t afraid to talk about them, or acknowledge the fact that SM’s beliefs aren’t a reflection of US. It’s special. It’s amazing. It’s why I’ve stuck around for almost a year now.

3. Fave headcanon brotps?

Oh, dude. Seth / Edward Jake / Emmett Emmett / Paul Charlie / Billy Bella / Emmett Rose / Leah Carlisle / Sam Alice / Jake

30. Which characters do you wish had their own spinoffs?

Oof. I think it would be SUPER interesting to have a whole spin-off series just on the wolves, actually! Not one in particular, but I think the whole world of shapeshifters could and SHOULD be explored more deeply!!!!!In terms of specific characters: Alice (duh), Carlisle (take me back to the 1800s or some shit show me his life in the volturi!!!!!), Leah Clearwater (she’d be my wolf-pack-spin-off main character).

15. Top 5 fave vampires?

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

Alice, Jasper, Esme, Emmett, Rose.Yeah, they’re all Cullens. Suck my Olympic-sized dick.

9. Astrology sign headcanons for the Cullens?

YEEEEEEEES. I am very stuck in my opinions for these, and I’m not sure why. It’s pointless, but I care VERY DEEPLY. Carlisle: Capricorn Esme: Pisces Edward: Gemini / Cancer cusp is perfect for this S.O.B.Bella: VirgoRosalie: ScorpioEmmett: Sagittarius Alice: Aries Jasper: Taurus (but I go back and forth on Jasper daily so ask me again tomorrow)

13. Hogwarts house sorting headcanons for the wolf pack?

I’ve never considered this before, so this is first-instinct. Sam: Slytherin Paul: SlytherinEmbry: Gryffindor Quil: GryffindorJake: Gryffinpuff?? the man is brave, but he’s loyal to a GD fault. I think that might just be the wolfy traits comin’ through though. Leah: RavenclawSeth: Hufflepuff(just doin’ these guys to keep it simple)

20. Pick a character you wish deserved a better fate (that wasn’t death).

Bree. Fucking. Tanner.

Any chance I get to write something, I add in a redemptive arc for Bree Tanner because I can’t for the life of me understand out of all the characters why fucking SM decided to kill the one that DEFINITELY deserved a fucking soft and perfect life.

Fuck you SM, Bree is alive and well.

1. Fave wlw ships?

!!! YAY !!! Leah / Angela Bella / Rosalie Carmen / Esme AND THEN JUST BECAUSE I CAN: Edythe / Bella Jessamine / Alice Carmine / Esme Julie / Leah Julie / Bella

#holy shit anon this was SOMETHING #honestly I love you ????/#please strangers come read and comment on my personal opinions tell me I'm right #bETTER TELL ME I'm WRONG LET'S DISCUSS IT #answered #twi asks #Anonymous

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cheswirls · 7 years ago

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a quick sum-up of che’s future career plans, bc reasons

im halfway through the dive!! anime show that came out this summer season, and i’m having a lot of thoughts, and plus i finished going through all the footage i missed today of skate america while i was at a bball game, and it’s made me realize different things i guess?

it might be mid-long length so its going under a cut, but to gain intereststart off, this is all about my desire to be an athletic trainer for the usa olympic center at colorado springs, co !

ive been an at(now when you see that abb. you know what it means hah!! not assistant teacher hmm) student since my freshman year of high school, and i’ve loved it a whole bunch. back then i was set on going to columbia U for their writing program, and i wanted to major in graphic design afterwards/during/it wasnt super planned out i was a fr. i didnt know what bfa or mfa stood for yet. it wasnt until end of sophomore year than i thought about being an at for realsies.

but i also still loved gd. so there was a confliction there.

junior year i took a break from working volleyball in the fall and did my one and only year of football and it was terrible primarily bc the team i worked with didnt know how to function as a group and half the group were selfless bitch whores but like thats another storyyy, secondly bc i jus really discovered i didnt care abt football at all. it was mostly for the experience and i gained it and i liked it bc i hung out w a lot of people from helping out w varsity (i was one of two our of the five juniors that had been there since my fr year and was only on jv bc it was my first year w football, but one of the seniors had to work a bunch so when they needed an extra person i was the one w the most experience so i was w them a lot,) point was it was fun!!! and you have fun w ppl you like that you dont work w all the time and i shouldnt say fun bc lots of times it was awful,

basically! it was fun being w the varsity trainers which were the seniors and the other junior that had been around since fr year. volleyball was fun but it had always been a one-at-student-per-team sport , so it was different jus being w other ats that shared the same team and not the same sport(which in the us is made up of at least three different teams, a fr,jv,and varsity). it was a more open environment and so it inspired a lot of talk with the at grad students we had that semester (we got 3-4 every semester in a partnership w the D1 uni in town, it was always cool to hear stories from them!) and anyway i remember talking w a couple of the grads one practice and we were discussing all the different occupations athletic trainers could have, and what they wanted to work with in the future, and the topic veered towards professional sports and the olympics.

i thought it was really cool when we were talking about it, and then we got busy and it flew out of my mind. i dont remember when it came back and became a focus, but sometime before my senior year, i had decided i wanted to work at the olympic level.

real quick i mentioned gd and the struggle, so to bring that into focus, my junior year i took a whole bunch of different tech classes (gd&i, compsci, webtech) and in one of those, i had the opportunity to go to a ... i cant remember what the term was for it, but it was kinda an event for gd students and it had a little competition and stuff, and it was really fun! nd you got a lot of info abt the community college hosting it and i learned their program was really good, so the gd versus at internal struggle continued, and i remember talking to my sponsor teacher (she actually taught all three of my tech classes that year aaa i loved her) about how i didnt know what to do and shit and i dunno what she told me but like, i think she was trying to be encouraging but she basically said it was up to me, like she didnt try and nod me into a direction, that i can recall.

so SOMEHOW bc i honestly cannot remember, by senior year i’ve decided that im gonna jus fuck it and pick BOTH and double major in gd and athletic training. AND i had it all planned out, where i was gonna get a degree in gd and open up an online business, and then go into a masters program for at and then enter into the olympic field.

by this point creative writing is still cool and a great hobby but i couldnt possibly double major AND have a minor that’d be too much. id still love to take a cw course tho one day.

basically a buncha crazy stuff happened that first semester but by winter break i had an acceptance letter to a uni a couple hours north of home with a good accredited undergrad program (accredited basically means you graduate w a masters in four years so its fasttracked which woulda been great but uh..) and by the time i found out that next semester that they were doing away with the accredited program i was already too emotionally invested to consider panic-switching(panic bc it was february and id already been admitted hah...) but i decided it’d be okay. basically if you dont remember/werent around one of my school’s head ats died in a car crash died around early october ‘16. she went to undergrad where i go now, and i’d talked to her about it september that semester wondering if she knew anything abt their program and uh surprise, she’d done the same program small world. after the funeral in november and a ton of thought i applied there. (november was.. crazy in general last year. rly crazy)

may was when i started adding on sports to the future olympics job, bc i started thinking about it and after finally getting a friend to watch yuri on ice, he started making his was through all of sochi’s figure skating stuff, and then the 2010 vancouver olympics, and i decided i wanted to recap a bit on that too.

the 2010 olympics was really my first experience with figure skating. i’m a west texas gal and so theres not a lot out here to get exposed to, so seeing these best-of-the-best class sports was fun, and the earliest experience i can remember of such. i was in fifth grade so i dont remember a ton, but i do remember being captivated by korea’s yuna kim, who won gold that year in fs. shes an fs legend at this point, so if you’re into figure skating and don’t know who she is, go look her up. you wont be disappointed.

in 2012 was the london olympics. i remember a lot from it, like watching the opening ceremony with my parents and seeing the queen jump out of a helicoptor(which is like,, still cool to this day wow) and being fascinated my michael phelps and all the swimming he did so grandly. it was also my first real exposure to diving. the oldest i could recall anything abt the sport was at a pizza hut somewhere.. in town i think, and i was w my best friend at the time and my mom was there so i think maybe we were on the way back from the lake??? sounds right, i think. and we were talking abt how i always held my nose when i went underwater bc i didnt know how to not get water all up my nostrils and be underwter(and i still dont to this day aha) and she mentioned like, joining a diving team would be cool! would help me get over it and all! and i like recalling it dunno what she was talking abt bc we lived in dirt city nothing so i highly doubt there was or is any sort of diving sport happening. swimming, yeah maybe, there were lessons at pools and bodyworks areas around town, competitive teams im not sure tho, but not diving like at all so??? dunno.

so my next and technically first real experience with it was watching the london olympics. and i thought, wow, this is so neat!! i watched from that one day like the opening events, and i think i was old enough to search online like yea i had a laptop by then so i looked up the schedule for the things i wanted to see most of, and i ended up watching i think most of the diving events (i missed a couple for.. archery, i think? maybe?) and absolutely loving it. iunno what it was, maybe something i never thought i could do?(bc not hold my nose?? while i dove???????? scaryy) but i enjoyed it a bunch.

i was older when sochi was a thing, my 8th grade year. i was able to appreciate things a lot more. when i tuned into events, tony hawk and snowboarding were the main focus, but figure skating was on a lot as well. i had a tv in my room by that point, so if i didnt like what was playing on the main tv, i could go watch another event. i learned a lot of names and faces through that, and so while my bff was watching it our senior year if i was with him id point out skaters and their nationalities and stuff, like yuzuru hanyus always been a modern day household name w figure skating, but i leanred abt him BECAUSE of the sochi olympics, and he was one of the ones i’ve never forgotten. i really really liked it, so much that i watched worlds after, and around the same time my fr year, i tuned in to just the worlds championship again. i didn’t pick up trying to watch grand prix(which is their regular season, for those unaware) season until my junior year, and most of it was day-or-two-late videos from youtube, since the ice channel i think it a paid-for thing (i still dont know much abt it hah) and nothing was on tv otherwise, aside from the skate america event. but since that first time after sochi, ive always been around watching worlds fs near the beg of each year. i’d familiarized myself by senior year with the fs world, and actually,

early (i think march?) of my junior year, i searched up trying to find a figure skating anime at the time. and what did i find?? ginban, the only figure skating anime at the time. i watched like maybe all of one episode, it was abt a girl who shared her body w the ghost of a former figure skater while she was competing in events, and it was.. okay? lackluster, in the animation dept, but it was a 2005 show so.. yeah.

so after that i was like kk that wasnt good lets find another. and i didnt. not yet, anyway. instead, i found an announcement for violet evergarden’s animated adaptation, and yuri on ice, a realistic adaptation of the sport of figure skating. thats bolded bc its important. i found that shit abt yoi before it even had a promo poster, certainly before the pv came around that got everyone hyped up. i found it bc i was looking for figure skating in the first place. in fact, i think when the pv came out and got popular, i didnt even relate it to the upcoming fs anime i’d read about previously. it took me a bit to connect the dots.

watching yuri on ice at the same time as the gp 2016 season was surreal, but really interesting. i got my bff into it before the second to last episode came out, and i only remember that bc he finally showed any interest when he found something on twitter abt it being gay (newsflash/// hes gay, and before yoi his fav show was no6 bc that was as close as it got. he still rly likes it, we both do, but his solid favc is now definitely yoi. representation matters and all) and was like well now i HAVE to watch it and i was all yes it ends soon so pls. and he watched it twice in a weekend, and thrice before the finale came out, and then a few more times after that, iunno how many times but certainly more thn i have(i went back after the .. maybe ep 10? w/e ending had the after party reveal that changed everything, so i went back to analyze everything before the next ep) and between the week of 11 and finale 12, he started watching the sochi fs competition, and then the 2010 after the show ended w ep 12.

seeing this great fs show and getting a friend into the world of figure skating really renewed my love for it all. before the semester went out i went back and watched the reruns of the sochi fs stuff. and by may i’d decided i wanted to cosider that to be the sport i worked with.

with diving, it took a similar twist. in the form of the rio 16 olympics. i was all over that shit, i downloaded an nbc app on my phone so i could watch events live while i traveled with volleyball to a tournament in dallas and while i was at practice w them at home and generally jus away from the house and a tv. i planned that shit out had a schedule and everything for what i was watching live, and a lot of it was swimming, but a whoooole lot of live stuff was the diving.

in the hotel room in dallas the tv would always be on to w/e olympics events were airing at the time, either track or diving tho, one or the other, or recaps. quite a few girls ended up in the room in the evening and we’d all do stuff and watch in passing at the same time, and it was suuuuuper fun. watching the chinese women perform flawlessly and walk away w all the gold was fun, but finding a good commentator to actually say such was a disheartening challenge( one of the most memorable moments w live commentary that year was hearing a woman say of one of the chinese ladies that she’d done better before, after they revealed her personal best score ever like rly cmon be unbiased and jus passionate abt the sport youre covering pls.

ive always been super fond of the diving scene. it may not be as much as fs, but honestly, i wish i grew up in an area w a diving team now, or wish i could try it out now, bc thats how much fun it seems. i still wanna go up to the big city like 30min away from uni and learn to ice skate in the civic center there, but hands down if i had to pick a sport to join tomorrow or die i’d pick diving.

so also by may, and throughout the culmination of senior year, diving was the second sport on the olympic to-train-for list. you get a five-year contract w the olympics, now i think it’s usa as a whole and i think its by center so say, if i get a job in colorado springs i cant apply in another five years to chula vista or even like lake placid, but iunno for sure. the five-year thing is involved somehow bc i’ve heard it from a physical therapist and trainer-that-works-in-a-sports-med-clinic duo in one body named sarah, who’s been contracted out from the clinic by my high school since junior year also, bc she knows people who’ve worked w the olympics, and then another from church that worked w olympics that knows my family uh iunno how well but i know of him, i think he also works in the clinic as some sort of on-hand surgeon but a diff person than who sarah knew. so its five years somehow and then i’ll take my bfa in gd and open my online business and do that from a studio at home and look after my owl/cat pet combo.

since may, it had been ‘olympics, with either figure skating or diving’. and it stayed that for a long time. now, since a couple weeks ago, and this is again while gp season is happening for fs, its diving. i wanna work w the usa olympic diving team as their team athletic trainer, and i cant do it this summer bc i have to have completed two years of uni, instead of a certain standing, like be a junior, but so NEXT summer, before my senior year of uni, (i came in a sopho so 6 sem only ah) i’m applying for an internship at the center in colorado springs, and that’s the team i hope i work with.

now i tell people, diving, but if i get offered figure skating, i’ll take it, but diving is the goal now. if i love it and wanna continue professionally, great, i can do that and have an online gd shop. and if i decide i want something different? i’ll work olympics and then join w a professional-level figure skating i actually dunno how it works. coach, and their skater in turn. coach, with multiple skaters under them. a culmination of diff usa skaters. w/e, something in the professional fs world.

and thats uh, thats it! dive has been so much fun to watch, and i realize i talk a lot on here about working w basketball and being an at student in general and the vast majority have no idea what i mean, so hopefully this clarifies. thank you!!

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saintkimora · 7 years ago

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well here is how my night with joel went on wednesday night as well as the choice that i had to make in regards to the beach issue with danielle

so! that night with joel was honestly the BEST time ive had with him since i got back from greece. he finally got horny!!!

so i got there and he was playing kingdom hearts so we did our usual me hugging him and rubbing his belly and stuff while watching him play kh as he tells me about his day and stuff, which i enjoyed as always. then we played moral kombat x which was so fun! i love having someone to play videogames with. i mained that bug lady

then after like 12 matches or so he got up and laid on his bed pretending to be mad that i beat him which is basically his invitation to cuddle. so i started cuddling w him and i got hard instantly lmao then we started listening to music and he showed me all these songs he likes and i showed him cupcakkes best songs. he was a little taken aback by how vulgar she is but i think in the end he liked her! if not ill have to end things here

then we started kissing and this is where i really had to shift into maximum overdrive! up until now its p much all been quick kisses or like really sloppy tongue-y ones that he does as a joke, so this was like the first serious making out that weve done since i got back. so i had to make sure i performed to the best of my ability bc he was getting into it and i was not gonna let this opportunity slip away so i had to keep him interested

the kissing was very nice and it got him horny like! finally! and when we switched and had him on top of me he kept playing w my nipples which was wild bc mine are SOOOOOOOOO sensitive (both in a pleasure way and in a ticklish way) so i was like laughing and moaning uncontrollably. its a little too intense for me but joel really likes it bc it always makes him happy seeing me like that so overall i enjoyed it

then we got naked and i sucked his dick! i was a little out of practice but i think i did a good enough job. he came and i swallowed for the first time w him (he usually just cums on his stomach) and i didnt even taste it at first! i couldnt even tell he was coming i guess it just went straight down my throat lol but then i felt the aftertaste :/ but yeah! it was really nice i enjoyed making him feel good

then he fell asleep meanwhile i was still horny SMH he was like “ok next time we need to do you first that way i dont fall asleep” like :/ it was kinda disappointing but i did the same to him once lmao plus tbh im just grateful for any kind of activity with him even if i dont get to cum

so we fell asleep and then i had to make my decision. i........................................ decided to go to the beach w danielle. i didnt have the heart to cancel on her so i had to wake up at like 6am and go home and get ready for her to pick me up. leaving joel was sooooooooooooooooooo hard bc hes really like affectionate and cute when hes just waking up, so he kept hugging me and kissing me and stuff while i was sitting on the bed getting ready to leave and i really REALLY wanted to stay. but at this point there was no going back

so i went to the beach w danielle and it was nice i guess. we laid on our towels and talked and walked along the water and looked at seagulls and all that stuff. BUT after 2 hours danielle was like i think its time to leave like........mess! its bc she wanted to pee but since we got there early (so we didnt have to buy passes) if she left to go to the bathroom and then tried to get back on the beach she wouldve had to pay. she shouldve just peed in the water like my mom does smh

like i was kind of annoyed like.......i couldve stayed and slept and cuddled with joel for like 5 more hours, enjoying my last bit of time with him for a while but instead i left all for 2 hours at the beach????? like REALLY? afterwards we went to stop and shop bc i wanted to get something so that was nice of her to take me there, then we went to our schools bookstore bc she needed to pick up her books. so that was nice i guess but i still wouldve rather been w joel for all that time

so yeah! i chose to cut my time short w joel so i can go to the beach w danielle and i regretted it tbh

#personal #this is v tmi just so you know

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survivorkomnata · 6 years ago

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Episode #9: "Anyone wanna speak up?" - Zach

they tRIED IT SDLGKDMSKLGM

ok so miguel was voted off 5-4-1 miguel/ME??/luke. the four people who voted me were stephen / ally / jess / luke. thankfully, i could count on the Kato 2.0 people on having my back. we also just made an alliance!!! because FUCK my og alliance with stephen/ally/(and karthik). and I STILL HAVE AN IDOL.

ok i'm just shook. i lowkey thought maybe alyssa was playing me but.. she wasnt. she saved me and i owe her for that. i hope it doesnt really hurt her position in the game but she's by far playing the best i think.

i'm just shook. i'm not mad at anyone. i apologize for how i acted post-tribal but oMGGGfgGgG these BITCHES|!!! it's the game tho, and i hope i can keep on kicking and swinging cuz im gonna fight tooth and nail in this game.

also it's so funny idk why but me saying the last line was ALGKDLSGK i still laugh:

anyone wanna speak up?

(ill give more later im just.. frazzled)

Ummm so about that fucking vote. WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?! WE HAD THE CHANCE OF TAKING OUT A FORMER WINNER AND A PROVEN CHALLENGE BEAST! I'm convinced the IQ of this person who flipped is a -20 because.. that was the stupidest move in the existence of Tumblr Survivor..... and I'm the QUEEN of the House of Stupid Moves. I can declare it.

I'm not 1000% sure right now who it is but I have two guesses.

My first guess is: It was Ally.

Reasons: 1. Ally has admittedly worked with Zach in another Survivor game. 2. She also arguably had the MOST contact out of everyone with Zach all day. 3. She possibly wants to pin this vote on Alyssa to break up any possible alliance between myself/Stephen/ Alyssa. 4. She wants to break up me and Alyssa 5. The group of Karth/Zach/Ally is a thing?

My second guess is: Alyssa Reasons: 1. If Zach left she is the next biggest threat here. 2. She wanted a shield. 3. She's trying to build as many relationships with people as possible to cover her social fucking ass. 4. She hates me and wants to off me and will use Zach to kill me in this game.

I honestly don't even know if my predictions are correct here but... I sort of hope they are and I don't look dumb in the future.

My plan going forward is: to not create a bigger mess that was already created.

XOXOXO Jessip Girl.

I'd also like to add another reason why I think it's Alyssa is because Miguel was one of the people who tried to vote her off.

THANK U

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Wow!! An attempted blindside gone wrong. This was really exciting and fun. These are the reasons I play this game for, finally happy to see these happening. A lot of lies and betrayal all of which is understandable but these things has got me pumped up. I am going to play with my emotions and they have triggered me. Time to start playing the game and play it hard. An attack on Zach is an attack on me, so they better be prepared to handle my rage.I feel this was a very good tribal in terms of the game as it makes its future bright and exciting. Luke....what are you doing??? Everything that has come to out of his mouth so far has been a lie. I just cant believe the way he is playing, no where close to what I was expecting from him.

After last night's chaos... my word. I have a feeling Touchy Subjects is going to destroy some people here.

Plot twist: I've heard some recent developments about the flipped vote.

According to Tim it was Luke? Oh? Buddy.... has officially been put on my "Shit List" in this game. You can't sit around and play both "sides" of this game. THAT'S MY JOB.

I'm not too sure how I'm going to break this to Ally. She might not believe me but I KNOW I NEED TO TELL HER.

Also: I still don't get why sooo many people trust Tim. I know Tim doesn't trust me anymore or maybe... not as much as he used to. BUT why did he tell Zach right away about the Miguel vote yesterday? IT ALL SEEMS SO SKETCHY.

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Being thrown in the basement has given me an opportunity to reflect on some things in the game. I was kinda flattered to be the winner of both "running the game" categories in Touchy Subjects. Unfortunately, that perception might cause the other players to plan more behind my back. I know from last vote that being in the basement before Tribal Council shouldn't impact things tooooo much for me. Still, I'd rather have the opportunity to talk with people whenever I want.

Speaking of last vote, I tried to blindside Zach! And it didn't happen. The original plan was Miguel, but things got switched up when no one seemed to bite into wanting him out. Ally wanted to get Tim instead, which signaled to me that she obviously didn't have a strong relationship with him. So I had to swoop in and say Zach should go instead because Tim is in one of my many alliances. Honestly I'm beginning to prefer the 4 Elements alliance over AJ's Angels because it's possible Alyssa was the one who flipped, and she's not telling me it was her. But after Touchy Subjects, I think I have a better chance against Karth in the end than I previously thought. He's viewed as inactive, which I personally disagree with, but that perception is very good for me.

Another alliance I'm in is the "Samurais" which I would have liked to call "The Resistance" but Luke had other plans. I honestly just view this alliance as a means to an end. That end being.... getting Zach out, SOON! Hopefully Ally has a case of tunnel-vision with getting Zach out as soon as possible and her/Luke don't suspect a thing when I flip right afterwards.

All of this is contingent on Jess feeling the same way, since flipping on my own wouldn't get me the numbers, which I think she will now that she sees the other players view Karth as being dragged to the end.

I'm still in the basement, so I don't know who the 2 sides are voting for. I doubt Zach sent me down here because he wants me to find an advantage... so I could be a target. I hope Karth and Tim would keep that from happening, and push the vote onto Luke instead. I might prefer to get Jake out just because I don't have a strategic relationship with him, but beggars can't be choosers. It's not like I'm particularly close with Luke anyway.

Ok so sorry for not making confessionals as often as I did before!! The game has literally been warped based off of the fist merge vote. Zach was targeted by Stephen, Ally, Luke, and JESS. Freaking Jess flipped on me when I thought we were really tight and cool. I played off my frustration with the others in the alliance of the 4 elements as understanding but I made moves. I first formed that allaince but now I formed an allaince of Kato 2.0 minus Miguel ofc. Tonights vote I want to do Luke but lets see. I will talk about challenge results soon as well!!

i won IMMUNITY!!! i'm so blessed because i've been told by two sources (namely tim & alyssa) that i was going to be targeted had i not. so? bless!

regarding what ''subjects'' i won: - would dump rice in the fire [true] - biggest physical player [true] - most likely to have an idol [true] - trust the most [false??] - want to see win at the end [false lol]

so that's interesting. i did a tentative game ranking and originally i put: alyssa > zach > ally > karthik > stephen > jake > jess > tim > luke

but now i'd put: alyssa > ally > karthik > zach=stephen > jake > jess > tim > luke but it's still super tricky to accurately rate because of the multiple factors you could include (threat size, potential to win, potential to go to FTC, allies, etc.). i honestly think my jury management is 0/2 so far, and that i will lose at FTC due to ''not working with people'' even tho i entirely blame others for that :D

now let's talk about the reasonings for voting me (hopefully i haven't spoken about this already): stephen - were worried about a potential idol play/new vote so they voted the "safer option", named zach. --> this kinda throws me off. i think it's realistically the most truthful of the 4 excuses, but it's kinda sad that my name was a ''safe'' vote opposed to someone having my back (because i have tried to work with them and especially like. jess.) ally - felt betrayed by the stephen w. vote and like i ignored her. --> i think this is dumb. firstly, girl, we kno u are STRATEGIC. secondly, i didn't ignore her whatsoever?? i was the closest to flipping imo but i didn't because stephen w. targeted ME? like if she genuinely voted me bc i didnt flip after my name was stephens main target (bar jake) then... sister idk what u want. luke - last minute scramble, didn't think i was getting many votes. --> well this is just false. point, blank and period. jess - that when she offered miguel's name, i was hesitant and freaking out (and that she wanted to be my number one opposed to number two). --> dumb. i told her miguel's name. i said it'd be sad but i'd be down and not willing to stick my neck out for miguel. maybe i came off poorly, sure, but if you truly wanted 2 be my ''number one'' u shouldnt make the vote me but rather someone else.

i'm just peeved.

on top of that, karthik is sooo rude??? like he didn't tell me shit about the basement until i confronted him. LIKE. I SENT AN ENEMY (OF MINE) TO THE BASEMENT AND YOU FAILED TO LET ME KNOW THAT YOU GUESS EVERY 6 HRS OPPOSED TO 24?? LIKE ?? I COULDVE SENT IN A DUCKING FRIEND!! so rude. i honestly am questioning my trust with him more and more through each round.

i also want to talk about someone that's great. JAKE! i love you so much. last confessional i may have doubted you (and, maybe the round before) but i'm extremely appreciative for you in this game and i can't stress enough that i'm just paranoid as duck and worry way more than i should. thank u LOL i trust u a lot now.

but, that's all in the past. let's talk about tonights vote. allegedly, stephen told tim that the target was going to be me, but due to immunity, jake is now the target. this makes a little sense given allys been wanting jake out the absolute MOST, but i feel like it'd be a decoy. don't matter tho xx i'm safe. alyssa is also apparently flipping (or, staying i guess) with our side and voting out luke - who is our sides target. i see logic in voting luke. he'll be the easiest of that side to get out, but on the other hand, he's the least threatening and if i'm going to flip someone, it'll be easier to flip people against ally (best liar, etc.) or stephen (running the game, etc.) opposed to luke (voted out next, don't want 2 see win, etc.). but have it be known that i'd CRAVE idolling out stephen or ally, and i may just do that.

it's still early in the day, and a lot can happen. i'll try* to keep yawls posted. i genuinely trust no one and i'm like at the stage of being sad ): because i don't think i can win and i don't think anyone wants to work with me even though i feel like i've been super social. i am always opened when i play games, and that may be 'snakey' or something but i'm willing to work with ANYONE. but they are not seeing that, and i don't know what to do abt it. maybe they're targeting me for being a threat (as a main reason), and that'd make me content but it feels like i'm one of those "one sided" people and... yeah. i guess only time will tell, but my fatass is in final 8 with an idol and all these birches know that, and i'll just have 2 play around that. good luck to me LOL ALSGKDLSKG

After a shocking touchy feelings, I’m feeling nervous about this tribal. No one is saying anything and I’m honestly feeling like I’m going home tonight. People are telling me I shouldn’t be and I want to believe them but I just don’t know.

ugh I want to save Luke but I cant afford to lose Tim/Jake/Zach's trust so I may have to just follow the groups preferences and vote Luke. I would rather have preferred the target to be Jess/Alyssa as they seem to be playing good games and aren't close to me. I had talked it out with Luke and now I feel like he would be help to my game down the line but dont feel like going over the board to save him.

Luke is voted out 5-4. He becomes the third member of our jury.

#escapenow #episode

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