#and its like pretty obvious so when he gets over to elf lady (so sorry i cant remember your name queen) shes all like

[tommygotwrittenoff]

no, wait, listen, buddie goes canon, right?? and they are taking things slow and being normal about their relationship and having a dating period because they are Normal about each other. but they are out with chris and they bring back the elf that called them gay somehow (shhh dw about how they do it they just do), and she says something about how beautiful their family is again. and this time buck is all 😊😊 thank you 🥰🥰 and gayly skips away again

[gayregis]

oh dandelion is such a weird case tbh. like all the sleazy shit he does is entirely unnecessary imo but people have latched onto the womanizing and all as such a huge important part of is character that no one seems to really question it? and in part due to mistranslations its treated by fans as a whole as way less harmful than it is? idk but honestly its part of why i just think hes gay now bc his canon sexuality is a mess nd basically every non-platonic interaction he has with a woman is gross

(this is part 2 ig? sorry shdjs) for example idk how it looks in the translations but in the original like. one of the very first things dandelion talks about is how he groped one of nenneke's students, and the bit with the brothel in eternal flame is. really awful when you look at it esp with the (horribly constructed but still) race dynamics in-universe, when he talks about "being able to afford a half-elf or maybe even a full-blooded elf" like idk its just. Bad and i think ppl gloss over it

(okay i started writing this part of the response before i got part 2): yes, it seems to me like a lot of him is based on this trope of the slovenly womanizer bastard-sort, but sapkowski does nothing to invert that part of the trope, lol. he disproved being a coward, because he was brave to follow geralt into brokilon/stand up for geralt’s life in dol blathanna/etc. he disproved being an idiot, because he makes intelligent observations sometimes. he disproves being selfish, because he is very caring for geralt and others. but he does nothing to disprove womanizing/misogyny, perhaps except for how he treats essi as his little sister, and for how he is appropriate with shani and also good to ciri. also i suppose in something ends, something begins he has female friends who he does not act disgusting to.

(this is considering part 2 as well): YES. there are so many little stupid fucking moments that drive me insane. such as that one, i already mentioned the rape joke to yennefer in limits of the possible/bounds of reason, the comment he made about she-elves in eternal flame was disgusting, all of his stupidity when he first met milva (commenting on her body, and also making a comment about how zerikkanian women cut off one of their breasts to shoot better, even though this is refuted by milva). how he says in lady of the lake that women don’t need money, since they don’t drink or gamble (in the presence of milva, who has drunken in his presence, and angouleme, for whom gambling is part of her backstory). also commenting on how he finds philippa scary and that he categorizes women into “fuckable” and “nonfuckable” basically. i think his comments towards yennefer in a little sacrifice are maybe the least horrible (just saying that she is old and isn’t a ‘normal woman’ because she is artifically young due to being a sorceress) but is still annoying.

i feel like the concept of brothel-going in general is supposedly “of the setting/time” and is normalized in their society but is taboo and mildly alarming to at least some in a modern audience,

i think it is also partially due to sapkowski normalizing the brothel-culture in-universe, and also (on the translators ends, too?) to be keen i guess to use terms like “whore”, like i think he calls toruviel in edge of the world something like “stupid whore,” which, if it came out of a man’s mouth today, hopefully he would be strangled.

the thing that is annoying is that he is a “good character,” he is literally the best friend of the main character, and is meant to represent that best-friend role. so his actions and sayings aren’t intended to villify him, but to be amusing, so it is assumed that the audience would find all of this amusing, which it’s not.

i think he can have this part of his personality (not misogyny, lol, but the “womanizing” as it relates to “being a dumbass”) without being so horrible, for example when vespula kicks him out of the house in eternal flame, i find this funny because he is obviously in the wrong, and he is experiencing punishment for it. additionally, things like repeating urban legends that zerrikanian women cut off their right breast in order to shoot better, to which milva ridicules him. or when he in his ballad sung that yennefer had a heart like a diamond that was unfeeling, and yennefer addresses this with him, and he shuts up and tries to steer the conversation elsewhere because it is obvious that he is terrified of her wrath...  it demonstrates that he is foolish and stupid, and is in the wrong, and can be made fun of. he did or said something (largely inconsequential, not violent or horrific) which was stupid, and is being ridiculed for it both in- and -out- of universe.

when he is in a position of power over the women however, saying derogatory things that men reading might agree with, that aren’t ever contested in-universe, then we have a problem. saying things like referring to women as whores, or trying to get a ‘full blooded she-elf’ at a brothel, or saying that he divides women into the fuckable and non-fuckable: these are never contested, he is never shamed for them, no one ever recieve retribution for them, and additionally, they are of a more violent and disgusting nature.

i feel like i treat geralt, yennefer, and dandelion all the same way overall. they each do and say some pretty messed-up things (geralt has sex with two barely 18-year old girls, yennefer smugly threatens to basically sexually assault geralt and was intending to mind-control a man into sex at belletyn (magic equivalent of a roofie; rape; what triss did to geralt), and dandelion espouses all of the misogynistic bullshit above). i like their characters but i simply cut this stuff out when i think about them because it adds nothing to them, only discomfort and disgust. it’s not intended to show “grey morality,” rather personal fallibility, and they are already fallible outside of such grossness. whether this affects if i headcanon dandelion as gay or bi i don’t know; i feel like it would be nice to rewrite some of his relationships with women to be more equal and less shitty (like how anna henrietta had an abusive husband beforehand and dandelion is not a violent man so ig it is nice to think she had some emotional love life with him around), but i also totally understand your perspective of just “there’s a lot to unpack here, but let’s just throw away the whole suitcase” haha. either way i think his [romantic] relationships with women are not very interesting at all, and i would rather focus on his platonic friendships with women, like milva, and/or mentorship/siblingship with essi. 

[shes-an-oddbird]

Christmas at River’s End Mall

Summary -  A Christmas AU in which everyone navigates their seasonal jobs, relationships and Christmas spirit, or lack there of, through woven together tales inspired by holiday prompts.

Chapter 2 - Silver Bells

Fitz, a self proclaimed Grinch, finds a bright spot in his retail hell in the form of the new gift wrap girl who works across from him and always wears a silver bell.

Prompt - Silver Bell Relationship - FitzSimmons POV - Fitz  

It’s just seasonal work. Fitz tells himself as he explains the purpose of the air fryer to a little old lady.

It’s just to make the extra cash he needs for the flight home. He encourages himself as he listens to a customer tell him about why one home security system is better than another.

It’s not the customers’ fault that they’re all complete morons. Fitz reminds himself as he waves goodbye to the family he had just helped purchase a remote control car that their kid was probably going to drive off the roof of their house.

If it wasn’t for the fact that he understood this tech stuff, as the manger so eloquently put it, he’d have been fired the first day. But when you can fly the demo drones as well as he can and repair the ones that have dropped over the side of the balcony, they let perpetual grumpiness slide. Still, it went without saying that he was not built for retail work.

Not every customer was awful. A couple of times now he’d helped a father and daughter duo who asked about the drones. Though it wasn’t with the usually onslaught of questions that made him painfully roll his eyes. No the little girl, Hope, he thinks her father had called her, was brilliant and her dad was dead set on not buying her a piece of junk. Fitz was able to give his honest and expert opinion and the father promised to be back once he’d done some research of his own.

If all his customers were like them, he wouldn’t mind the job so much.

But they weren’t, they were pushy and obnoxious. Fitz longed for the quiet hours of the day, after the mall walkers and stay at home parents left and before school and work let out.

That was when he heard it the first time.

The slightest jingle of a silver bell.

Just across from the store’s prime corner lot location a gift-wrapping station had been set up. Equip with rolls upon rolls of paper in ever color and pattern imaginable and a workspace that made him envious. The gift station was new, the one located downstairs no longer sufficient for the mall’s growing number of customers. May, the mall’s event coordinator, who interviewed pretty much everyone who came in for seasonal work, was escorting a beautiful girl about his age to the kiosk. She was wearing a festive dark green sweater and hanging around her neck on a long blue ribbon is a bell.

With every move she makes the bell rings. She steps behind the table and May gives her an empty cardboard box to wrap. She does so with the biggest smile on her face. In just minutes she hands May a stunning gold package with a shimmering silver bow. May looks impressed, which is saying something. He still remembers his interview. Because he’d be demoing the electronics and interacting with the mall patrons May had wanted to meet him. She had praised his skills but called him out on his lack of Christmas spirit.

“If you’re going to be doing this job Fitz you’re going to have to find some Holiday joy.”

May hands the woman a smaller item to wrap this time. It kind of looks like a tool from where he is. This one gives the gift wrapper only a moments pause before she slices off a length of sparkling red paper and begins to carefully fold it all while the gadget sits aside. He watches, unsure her plan, until a perfect sized gift bag begins to take shape. With just a minimal amount of tape it stands and she is able to slide the gift inside. She flips the top closed, hits it with the stapler and strategically attaches a shiny white bow to cover the sliver of metal.

May is pleased. She gives the woman a handshake and leaves.

Still with a smile on her face and chiming at every turn the woman turns and admires her new work station. She than turns her eyes up and scans the stores around her, likely to see what she might spend her time wrapping. When she catches his eyes he flinches.

He shouldn’t have been watching her this whole time. It was probably creepy. But she doesn’t notice or hadn’t because she gives him a cheery wave before returning her attention to her work. It isn’t long before she had a customer.

And then many more.

Word of her skill spreads fast and soon has even less down time than himself.

She has many guests too. Daisy, a volunteer and May’s adopted daughter who makes trips around the mall ensuring that Christmas cheer was well spread, visited often. Clearly the pair was close as he typically heard laughter coming from the station. He had been joyfully reprimanded by Daisy on more than one occasion for frowning, although it was all in good nature. She’d do her best to make him smile and he’d stubbornly keep up his Grinch persona.

A persona that was getting harder and harder to keep up. He still didn’t know her name, to nervous to get close enough to read her name tag without feeling creepy, but whoever she was, she was always in a good mood and it was annoyingly infectious.

That damn bell around her neck. She wore it every day and the noise should have driven him crazy like the Christmas music did but instead he looked forward to it. Now when the quiet of midafternoon rolled around it was an oddly pleasant reminder that he wasn’t the only one stuck in retail Christmas hell and something about that put him in a good mood.

“Look at you, Daisy been on your case today Mate?”

“What are you talkin about?” He asks around a bite of his lunch.

Hunter scoffs in disbelief. “That dumb grin that's been on your face since we went on break.”

“Its nothing."

He hadn’t realized he’d been so obvious. Just earlier he’d had potentially the worst customer of the season. A woman who couldn’t understand why the price of the smart home system she wanted wasn’t the same as the price in their advertisement. When he tried to explain to her that that was a basic model and the one she selected was upgraded she whined that they looked exactly the same. At that point he had called over a manager who informed her it was a software upgrade and it wouldn’t look any different.

Still unsatisfied, she complained that for the price it should have all the features and stormed out.

The manager had applauded his ability to keep his cool and immediately let him go back to demos. As he was setting up one of his favorite drones when he caught sight of the gift wrapping girl looking at him. She smiled at him sympathetically before looking in the direction that the woman had stomped off in and then turned back to him making a fake gagging expression.

She understood.

“Nothing is awfully pretty, mate." Hunter says, pulling him back to the present.

“What?”

“The elf that’s working at the gift wrap kiosk.”

“How do you – “

“Bobbi can see you from the coffee shop.”

Of course she can.

“I don’t even know her, she waves hello to me in the morning that’s it.”

“Well I have a thought to remedy that.” Fitz was starting to regret taking his break with Hunter.

“And what's that?”

“Why don’t you just go talk to her?”

Fitz immediately shakes his head. “I can’t, she’s the embodiment of Christmas spirit and I’m – “

“The Grinch.”

Fitz frowns at him.

“Why don’t you take something over there to get it gift wrapped, it’ll give you an excuse to talk to her.”

“I haven’t got anything to have wrapped.”

“You’ve been pulling double shifts and don't have anything to show for it?”

“You know I’m trying to get home to see my mum.” If that meant his friends didn't get any gifts this year they'd just have to deal with it.

“Whatever, if you don’t talk to her by the end of the week, you’re taking my gifts over there and having them wrapped.”

Not its his turn to scoff. “What gifts, you blew all your money on the exhibition ticket.” Fitz won’t admit to being jealous that Hunter had a ticket to the football match. It wasn’t till the spring but their teams weren’t exactly stateside often so the tickets went fast.

“Don’t be bitter, I’ve got a buddy who can still hook you up with a decent seat.”

“Don’t you have to get back to your tree lot.”

***

“Fitz," he jumps at the manager's shout, "I need you flying the camera drone.”

“Why?”

“Because we’ve got stock, now get on it please, show it off, do some of that trick flying.”

Fitz rolls his eyes and sets up the camera drone for demo. Its not his favorite. The flight controls are temperamental and the camera was fuzzy, but they were cheap and on the top of every gift guide so they had about a hundred of them in the back. Even with the poor controls he does manage to pull a crowd. Saturday meant there were kids and they were dragging their parents over wide eyed and ready to beg. Amongst the crowd he spots Hope and her father. He presses a button that syncs the drone to the big screen they have mounted just inside the store's entrance and hovers the drone in front of them. They wave at the screen and Hope beams when she catches herself on the TV.

His manager was ecstatic.

He does an impressive spin with the drone, flying it over the balcony and up towards the third floor. There is a round of applause and the distant sound of a bell. He glances over at the gift wrap kiosk and to his shock he sees her clapping as well. She gives him a little wave and he quickly waves back, the drone dips drastically, sending the crowd scattering as it veers towards them.

“SORRY!”

He swoops it back upwards, hovering it well above the patrons heads as he apologizes to them and they disperse. He looks back at the controls, preparing to land it and check it over for damage when he catches a glimpse of something on the camera screen. The drone had been hovering over the gift wrap station, the camera angled towards the girl whose holding up a scrape of gift wrap with words scrawled across it.

Nice flying.

He looks up to find her smiling back. Suddenly he’s thankful for the kitschy features of the cheap drones. He quickly brings up the keyboard and sends a message to the drone.

Thanks.

She holds up the scrap of paper, more words added to the bottom.

What’s your name?

Fitz types back quickly. This wasn’t exactly how he thought meeting her would go but he wasn’t complaining.

Fitz. What’s yours?

Jemma.

[queen-scribbles]

Heart on Sleeve

Heodi reappeared to run away with the “rush” nonverbal prompt @actualanxiousswampwitch sent me. ;D Set after Breathe and this prompt, in the Stars Rewritten AU(which is basically Adi’s canon now, let’s face it)

----

The journey back from Stalwart to Caed Nua was long and chilly, but Adela barely noticed the sore feet and half-numb fingers in her focus to get home. She did notice the grins Sagani and Edér kept tossing each other when she urged the rest of them to hurry up, even if she pretended she didn’t. There’d been no news the whole time they were in the White March, and she couldn’t quite convince herself that was a good thing. She was near-skipping with eagerness (anxiety) when the stronghold’s gates came into view, and abandoned any pretense of keeping pace with her friends to dart for the main keep’s doors.

She hollered a greeting to the Steward in passing as she charged up the stairs and past the barracks on her way to the infirmary. Please be alright, please be alright, please, please be alright... The knot in her chest seems to constrict with every repetition.

Adela skidded to a halt in the infirmary doorway, heart hammering loud in her ears, gaze instinctively drawn to one place--

The bed was empty. Clumsily made and empty. Was that good or bad?

She glanced around the room until she spotted one of the healer’s assistants straightening shelves at the far end. She cleared her throat, mostly in a vain attempt to get her heart settled back where it belonged, and waited for the young elven man to turn her direction before gesturing toward the bed. “Where...?”

His eyes darted from her to the bed and back. “Oh, he’s, um-”

--Please don’t say he died while I wasn’t even here, I’ll never ever forgive myself. Her hands curled into nervous fists as he stuttered, nails digging into palms--

“-I believe he’s outside, behind, um, Brighthollow, my lady,” the elf(Vedric? She was pretty sure that was his name) finished, inclining his head.

Adela’s brows shot up and her heart lodged in her throat for an entirely different reason. “Wait, he woke up?!”

“Aye, my lady, just over a week ago. Did you not get Iana’s letter?” Vedric’s ears twitched as he frowned.

She shook her head, relieved grin already tugging the corners of her mouth. “So he’s alright?” she asked, voice shaking with the memory of blood and bone laid bare, shallow breathing and the grim caution there might be no recovery.

Vedric(gods, she hoped she was remembering that right) wrinkled his nose apologetically. “He will be, my lady. I’d hardly say he’s there yet.”

“No, right, right.” Adela bounced on the balls of her feet. “But he’s recovering?”

“Yes, my lady.” Vedric smiled. “Iana felt some fresh air would do him good today since it’s warmer than others have been recently.”

She nodded, bit her lip. “It does work wonders. Behind Brighthollow, you said?”

He inclined his head again. “Yes, my lady.”

Adela was gone before he’d finished the confirmation. 

Behind Brighthollow was a good place, she mused as she scrambled down halls and stairs on her way back out. It was quiet, secluded, the hedge maze offered some protection from the wind, and last she’d checked some of the flowers were still holding out against the inevitable advance of winter, so it was sort-of pretty even now. One of her favorite places, right after the library.

She barreled out via one of the smaller back doors rather than the main entrance, eagerly wheeled toward Brighthollow, and couldn’t stop her heart pounding or her grin going wider when she caught sight of him.

Heodan. His name stuck on the tangle of relief and joy and something else she couldn’t quite name all lumping in her throat. She swallowed hard as her feet pushed back into motion of their own accord, and tried again. “Heodan!”

It was enough warning for him to look up, a grin catching his lips when he saw her, before she reached him. Even with her enthusiasm seriously checked, her hug was still forceful enough to knock him from his seat.

She felt as much as heard him wince when they hit the ground and immediately felt guilty. “Sorry, I didn’t mean- I tried to-”

“Adi, it’s--” Heodan’s attempted dismissal cut off with a hiss of pain, his uninjured arm curling in against his ribs. “...Oww.”

“I’m so, so sorry!” Adela said fervently, face hot enough she half expected her fur to singe off. She rested a tentative hand on his good shoulder, waited until he looked up at her. “I was trying to rein it in,” she mumbled, fighting the urge to brush his hair back from his face, or apologize again for how watery his eyes had gone. “I was just... really worried about you, a-and I’m glad you’re... that you didn’t...”

He managed a half-smile and reached up with his good hand to pat hers. “I know.”

She bit her lip and nodded, the unspoken fear that had knotted in her chest for the last two and a half weeks finally dissipating. “Let... let me help you get settled again.” Her head whipped back and forth. “Didn’t they have anyone with you? Just in case?”

“Yes, he just needed to step inside for a minute.“ The strain in Heodan’s voice had lessened considerably by the end of the sentence, but his jaw was still tight.

“Oh, well, I guess I can forgive him,” Adela commented dryly. “‘Specially considering the only real danger to you proved to be me.”

This smile was more full and genuine, not curtailed by pain, and the two of them set about getting him seated once more on the bench.  Adela took a moment to really look at him as he gingerly shifted to get comfortable.

He was still pale, enough that the stubble along his jaw and the dark circles under his eyes stood out in stark relief, but not nearly as pale as he had been that first night coming back from Searing Falls. Bandages were still obvious under his shirt, of course, creeping up the side of his neck, and she did her best to shove away the memory of the ugly wounds they covered. (Aloth and Kana had tried to distract her, but she’d still seen.) The broken collarbone was braced and that arm immobilized, bound tight as the healers dared go with broken ribs in the picture. It was going to take months--at least--to heal, and his adventuring days were very likely done(she wondered if he’d miss them; it wasn’t like that had been his plan when he came out here). But he was alive and recovering, and that was what truly mattered.

She hadn’t lost him.

Her observations complete, Adela perched herself next to Heodan--who had clearly noticed what she was doing and was waiting patiently for her to finish, her legs swinging in the empty space under the bench. “You picked a good time to wake up,” she said lightly, teasing to hide the other emotions swirling in her chest.

Heodan looked over at her and arched a brow. “Did I?”

“They’re making good headway on the craft hall,” she said, smiling impishly, which faded a second later. “Assuming you’re still planning to run that? Once it’s set up and you’re... better?”

“Of course,” he smiled in return. “That’s what we agreed, and I’d hate to disappoint.”

Adela’s ears dipped back and a ripple ran through her fur. “First off, you’d have to do a lot worse than that to disappoint me. And I’d hate to hold you to an arrangement you don’t want anymore.”

Heodan’s smile widened and the fingers on his good hand picked at his thumb.  “Oh, I still want to do it.” he assured her.

“Good... Good to know,” she nodded, playing with her braid. They lapsed into silence for several long moments before she broke it again. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

“Adi, why the blazes would you be sorry for that?” Heodan asked, brow furrowing in confusion. “From what I understand, you didn’t have much choice, and were staving off a major catastrophe.”

“Well, I didn’t, and I was,” she conceded, huffing bangs out of her eyes. Almost drowned in the process, but you don’t need to know that part just yet. She looked up at him. “But I’d said I wasn’t going anywhere, and we’ve been through a lot together, and, I dunno, I wanted to be here for you for this, too.”

Heodan smiled and gave a one-shoulder shrug. “You’re here now.”

Adela met his gaze and grinned. “True. I am.” She left unspoken that she had no intention of leaving any time soon, either. She didn’t trust her voice to stay steady, and besides, saying it out loud would almost guarantee the universe found a way to make a liar of her.

But she thought it. She thought it as she watched him fidget with the sling and bandages holding his arm still, as she fought off the urge to slip her hand in his and hold it tight, as he pulled the deepest breath he could, let it out, and asked her, “So what were you doing, exactly?”

“Saving the world,” she replied innocently, toying with her necklace to help tamp down the urge to hold his hand, zipping the ivory elephant back and forth on its cord.

Heodan chuckled. “I figured that much. Details, Adi. What was involved?”

She spent the next hour answering that question, in a rarely slowing stream of chatter that was vintage Adela Tecali and still somehow skipped most of the more perilous bits. 

She wouldn’t want to make him worry. Somehow she knew he still would, but she could  try to protect him. It was the least she could do.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Time for The Witcher episode 4!!

So the last episode was Intense(TM) and also I finally realized that the show isn’t happening all at the same time but it’s following multiple timelines, which, better late than never. Now things make more sense...

Alright, bando alle ciance and let’s do this.

“Ciri! Ciri” Cirilla: yes? “Not you, I was talking to Siri. What’s the weather going to be tomorrow”

That’s such a stupid joke. Unfollow me right now, it’s okay.

Glowy Forest Intensifies... oh, there’s people now. Forest Dora Milaje aren’t happy to see her, which is understandable, I guess. But the boss arrives.

Meanwhile, except not meanwhile, a man has had a very bad day. Apparently the nickname White Wolf has stuck. Remember when we thought the MCU was going to make Bucky into a Black Panther character as the White Wolf, official media outlet even used the White Wolf as a title for Bucky, and then it ended up in nothing? Sorry for the digression but I really hoped we’d get Bucky written by Ryan Coogler and I was really disappointed when that didn’t happen but *waves around* all of that happened instead. I mean, technically it’s not too late to make it happen but Bucky is a Disney+ creature now, so, bye.

Hello Jaskier! My boy! I missed you.

Ah, the new media image campaign is working. 

“You never get involved, except you actually do, all of the time” I love this XD “I don’t do emotions or attachments” character who does emotions intensely all the time and gets attached to everyone they meet paired with “sure Jan” character who calls them out is a very good dynamic.

Ah, yes, this is perfect. I’m sorry but dark brooding protagonist and bubbly comic relief sidekick is my secret weakness.

No offense, Geralt, but those clothes did need a good washing after your latest job, so don’t make that face.

Blah blah royal affairs I should probably pay attention to.

“I am not going to protect you” [*Spongebob font* five minutes later...]

But yeah, the princess is Cirilla’s mother, I suppose, and I’m sure the marriage that produces Scream Princess is super important. She is very pretty and has lovely hair. Sometimes I wish I had long hair I could braid artistically.

The princess doesn’t want to get married to some strange dude, but the queen is A Very Strong Woman(TM) and has no time for silly things like her daughter’s feelings over the most life-changing decision in her life. She’s an interesting character for sure, and the narrative doesn’t try to frame her as either definitely good or bad, which is interesting.

Oh! Rat Boy isn’t dead! That’s great. That makes sense narratively, native forest women who suffered genocide from colonizers wouldn’t kill an elf boy who went through the same thing.

Promised husband is a shitty dude. Queen Calanthe likes Geralt, which, relatable. But she and her entourage are racist assholes, and the next scene with Cirilla and Dara tell us that their anti-elf talk isn’t just talk.

By the way, now we know for sure how much time there is between Geralt’s timeline and Cirilla’s.

The queen doesn’t like feminine dresses. Lady is trying to overcompensate a lot. But her banter with Geralt is entertaining.

The first suitor is from Nilfgaard, and in hindsight it would have been a wise choice to unify the two kingdoms... C’mon, poor guy is just awkward, he doesn’t deserve the humiliation. Or is he the guy who’ll make war later? The pilot threw too much new information at me the other day.

Yennefer is bored... and apparently 30 years has passed since the last we saw of her. (I refuse to try to understand when in relation to the other plots that puts this scene. Things will click together at some point or I’ll just accept whatever happens and nod along.) And coincidentally she is paired with a woman who laments being only considered important as a baby-producing womb. Oops. Awkward.

Not relevant to the show but my parents never get inside my room as often as while I am watching something on Netflix.

Yennefer thinks life as a court mage sucks, queen Kalis thinks life as a baby-maker sucks. They envy each other for what the other has, but they’re probably both right.

Well, boredom is no longer a problem.

Oh, poor queen, her husband paid to have her killed because she’s only given him daughters. Two episodes in a row about female heirs to kings, plus queen Calanthe being female and having a daughter who’ll have a daughter. Theeemes!

You can’t be rude to the only person who is your only hope not to die horribly, girl.

Queen Calanthe is frustrated she isn’t a man, which we could guess. She also likes the simplicity of killing, which we could also guess.

Oh! It’s almost pre-decided husband’s time to claim the girl’s hand in marriage, but New Guy appears! He’s been cursed and Mr I Don’t Pick Sides Ever No Matter What, guess what, picks a side. The audience is shocked. No one could foresee this unexpected turn of events.

Noooo the baby!!! Yennefer loses a rare chance to acquire a baby. This is sad. Damn this show doesn’t shy away from killing children, such a different feel from most stories we’re used to.

These people are weird with destiny. Calanthe says fuck destiny, Geralt says lol mood but just because you’re a queen doesn’t mean you’re above sacred rules.

OOOOH Calanthe says fuck sacred rules and it does not go well. Is this happening because she tried to mess up with the order of the world and chaos said hi? Was the princess always magical or did this happen because destiny will have its way no matter what?

Ah, her grandmother had it, she never manifested it before until now, when circumstances awoke it.

Queen Calanthe acknowledges destiny, and of course they’re all dressed in green like the mages of Feminist Hogwarts aka Chaos School. I should have paid more attention to colors but green seems to be the color of magic slash chaos slash destiny.

Then bam, red. Men. Violence.

Everyone in the forest is also dressed in green... Colors aren’t really my thing, you might have noticed that I rarely analyze colors in Supernatural and I’m not particularly into what which color means and I only notice things when they’re very obvious like the purple of transformation-slash-death, so, yeah, I am not the kind of person who notices colors until they slap me in the face. I guess this is my slap in the face by this show’s color palette XD

Also consider that I watch everything with f-lux on, so I don’t even see colors the way they actually look, I guess that’s why it’s harder for me to notice colors when everything looks orange.

Alriiiiight *disables f.lux for current app*

Oh. Oh. So this is how this show looks like.

Awkward. This is so embarrassing.

I should rewatch the whole thing with real colors now... well, another time.

Anyway, Dara has drunk antidepressant juice, but it doesn’t work on Ciri, because she is Relevant(TM) to destiny so she can’t forget her past otherwise the plot destiny can’t happen.

Sleep well baby.

Aaah husband’s curse is broken! Yay.

Geralt accidentally acquires a bond with a baby. One baby dead and Yennefer’s potential bond with her lost, one baby on her way and Geralt’s future bond with her created. So this is all about parallels based on babies and births. Cool.

In the future, destiny has arrived and indeed wrought calamity on the court and the city. Someone makes something gross with Calanthe’s dead body--a spell to learn the location of Cirilla. Trouble is coming.

Oh! It’s him, he’s not dead? And taking something from Calanthe (that will be relevant later)?

Ciri drinks stronger juice and goes to the ancestral plane, er, I mean has a vision of a Very Important Tree, sorry I had Black Panther stuck in my head from before.

Well this is very interesting and things are starting to click together and yeah it’s a weird ride but I’m enjoying it! I suppose only at the end of the season you get the full picture of why and when everything has happened so I’m just sitting here metaphorically eating popcorn waiting for things to make sense on their own rhythm. There’s a theme of motherhood and babies and it seems that Geralt’s destiny is to become a metaphorical mother for Cirilla? Or am I mixing him up with a similar kind of character with a tendency to become everyone’s mom? Anyway, I’m looking forward to see what happens.

[sieben9]

“changelings” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I’m watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I’d be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

Well, damn.

Where do I even start?

Ah, yes, ridiculous fashion choices. Thank you, that’ll do nicely.

Seriously, what is up with this belt? Is there a funny story/deep significance I missed here? Did the Evil Queen get really into wrestling while off-screen? Is this a Fight Club thing?

So many questions, and neary an answer in sight…

…yeah, OK, I’ll get to the actual episode. Under the cut, though. Be warned, this wasn’t a happy one for multiple reasons. For one it’s so long and I am really sorry. I just kept going “and another thing…!” until we got to the current state of things. There are some “skip here” suggestions in the text, though. For another… yeah, just go ahead and read the thing. Short version right here: I did not like this episode, and its also a microcosm of this show’s issues with character continuity. (As in “which bits are canon this episode”)

OK, brief shout out to the whole scene at the barn house. Regina threatening the Evil Queen with crushing her own heart was deeply worrying, but also kind of badass. Good on her. Also, the conversation afterwards. It’s nice to have it all out in the open for once.

Next up: the flashback!

names displayed to silently accuse the guilty (not really they just happened to be in the shot)

Which was… alright, I guess? I mean, the Rumbelle dynamic was completely off compared to what we’ve seen from anything but their very earliest days (I’m thinking about the Robin incident, which was… maybe Belle’s second day there?), but compared to all the other nonsense going on in that area, this is barely a blip on the radar.

This had definitely the only moment of much-needed comic relief of the episode, namely Blue’s dress. I mean, she wears it with commendable sincerity, but that thing just doesn’t get any better with prolonged exposure.

So, Rumple can read Elf, but he can’t read Fairy? OK, I guess, but you’d think that over a 200-year-long rivalry, he’d have made the effort. Well, if nothing else, the “Belle knows Fairy” thing is a nice fanfic fact.

Anything else here…?

Oh, yeah. Rumple’s mom.

Alright, it might be a little early, but I’m calling it now: viewed by quantity, Rumple has The Worst Parents on this show. Simply because both of them were evil, child-stealing assholes who abandoned their son. …you know, despite the very obvious irony in that sentence, I’m shocked Rumple turned out as good as he did. All praise the two spinning ladies.

By the way, how many parents do we have who didn’t abandon their children? Obviously, there are some, but I highly doubt we’d get as much as an even split. Yes, I realise that this is part of the show’s theme, but that is still a lot of absent parents.

He didn’t get much out of that conversation, though, did he? Well, looks like he’ll have another opportunity this season, at least… (If I sound a little underwhelmed, it’s just because of my general mood, I’m actually pretty excited to see more of her. “Sometimes you have to choose power over love”, huh?)

::long groan:: I don’t wanna do this. Because I feel like this should be a serious, in-depth analysis, when really all I want to say is “this episode hurt me and not in the good way”.

I think a large part of the problem is this: I wasn’t there with the story. I think Rumple and Belle’s actions both grew… sort of organically to the point they reached by the end of the episode, but getting there was such a janky, half-baked mess that I just. Didn’t. Buy it.

Right up until the end of that really, really disturbing scene in the library, there are some giant leaps of logic I’m supposed to just follow along with. Like “the best way to get my son to love me is to speed up Belle’s pregnancy” or “Rumple wants to cut our son’s destiny so that he can be corrupted ‘or worse’.” Also, what the hell is “worse” supposed to be in this scenario? What, exactly, did he think Rumple would do to his own child? Ugh!

Also, this didn’t happen until later, but “Just because he did the right thing today doesn’t mean he’ll do the right thing tomorrow”? Really, Emma? Isn’t hoping people who do the right thing today will do the right thing tomorrow kind of at the core of your entire moral system?

::dons hardhat::

OK, outright: The library scene was painful, and deliberately cruel on part of the writers. Because there were so many options for this to play out that didn’t involve Rumple chasing Belle into the elevator that’s been an established “Thing” in the narrative of this couple. I’m not saying this is bad writing (I want to, but let’s face it, I’m hardly objective), but it’s definitely a deliberate punch to the gut. And then there’s the bit where Belle has to talk Rumple down, which…  ::shudder:: yeah, not a good look.

What annoys me about that conversation… OK, one of the things that annoy me about that conversation is that I can’t even properly analyse anyone’s character motivation here, because I have no fucking idea which bits of canon I’m “supposed to” remember this week!

Some canon dissection at this point, skip if you’re bored.

So. Belle told Rumple that “all she wanted [him] to do was try”, which is reasonable enough on its face. In an ideal world, I’d assume this refers back to his comment in s5 where he basically said that the darkness was irrevocably part of him and that he had no intentions of changing that. Which is a… bold choice of words for someone who was literally, straight-up cursed with that amount of darkness. But I digress. The thing is that I don’t actually know if that’s what Belle meant, because, like I said, there’s been a very clear trend of “please only remember selected pieces of established continuity” in recent seasons episodes, and if you’re going to play it like this, that makes any kind of analysis really hard.

Because here’s the thing: he absolutely did try after that. Right after that, you might say. He and Belle worked together (using Belle’s method rather than gunning for Hades directly) to get their child back from Hades. And when Belle decided to put herself under a sleeping curse so as not to risk Hades stealing their child (because Belle does impulsive shit when she feels cornered), Rumple not only got their child back, he also tried to kiss her awake afterwards—something he previously said would require too much of a change from him to even attempt! And when that didn’t work, he did what she’d asked and brought her to her father, who refused to wake her, because his child being worse-than-dead was apparently still better than her being with Rumple. (And no, words still cannot express how much I hate Moe French. He started out a shitty father and then got worse.)

And then he kept trying to wake her up, because that’s what you do for a person you love. I’d even say he was about to succeed in waking her up, when what I can only call a diabolus ex machina turned up to tell her that Rumple is bad and will “destroy his family” (in a frustratingly unspecified manner that was never elaborated upon). And I’d be happier with this if it was framed as the kind of self-fulfilling prophecy the season 2 seer girl made—that Belle trying to avoid a future where Rumple destroyed their family would put them on the path to destroying their family—but I’m not sure that’s what’s going on. And if it is, then the writing in that one bit of the show is certainly a lot subtler than everywhere else.

I don’t care how cute a baby you are, adult!you is still a douchebag

So, at this point, Rumple has tried really hard to be a better version of himself, but somehow none of that work is recognised in narrative. It’s perfectly fine for Belle not to recognise it for several reasons (it’s also a bit weird, considering how she still seems to feel about him), but the narrative never acknowledges that all of this can definitely be filed under “striving to be better.” Which, again, brings me to the “so which bits of canon are canon today?” question. (Also, hi, I have a strong suspicion that the people involved in planning this show are a lot better at short stories than ongoing series with open sequel hooks. No pun intended.)

And then, like I said, things took a pretty sharp turn towards the end of last episode and at the top of this one. I’m… not even touching that any further. I’m tired, and not in the “I woke up early to get this writing done” sense.

::sigh:: Remember The Bear and the Bow? Good times, that, huh?

Alright. Deep breath. It’s uphill from here. Kind of. The hill is inside a hell-pit, so it’s not a great climb.

The post-library bit of the episode kind of works as far as internal logic goes. The episode had pretty much lost me by then, to the point where I was just relieved it actually wasn’t Rumple who spiked that tea. Because, let me tell you, I know I said I didn’t see myself quitting the show, but that version would have been hard as hell to watch. So. Glad I don’t live in that version of reality.

Still, at that point, Belle has no reason to think someone other than Rumple would have wanted to give her that potion. Which meant he was still after the baby, so sending the little bean away was… still not a great idea, really, but I can see how she arrived there. Belle does impulsive shit when she feels cornered. If she thought Rumple had really sunk that low… yeah, it’s still not a great option (and, again some really good acting in that scene), but not completely out of left field.

And Rumple was obviously afraid something like this would happen, which is why he tried to barge into the convent like that. Didn’t exactly make him look more innocent, but he was in a hurry.

at least you’re pretty to look at, I guess

At least one person acted entirely consistent with prior characterisation, meaning the Evil Queen. Because that potion was such a classic move that I’m a bit surprised Rumple didn’t see that one coming. My guy, this is basically the same woman who convinced you Belle was dead before locking her in a cell for thirty years. She knows where to hit you and how to make it stick, and you should know that!

And this is not me saying that it’s Rumple’s fault, but he sure got a good hit from the idiot ball when he unceremoniously dropped the Evil Queen as his partner/”partner” without going “hm, could she possibly feel the urge to screw me over for this?”

And so, Rumple missed the birth of his second child, Belle had her first child without her husband to support her, and while Gideon is a lovely name, I can’t help but think that picking a name for your child is something couples should do together, playfully bickering back and forth for weeks that no, we are not naming our son Immanuel, why is this even a discussion? (…I had several friends get pregnant over the last three years and you hear some weird stuff. The little guy is called Immanuel now, by the way. Among other things.)

Oh, and speaking of the little guy’s name...

WHY WOULDN’T SHE TELL HIM? Seriously, the name wouldn’t do anything to find him he couldn’t do with blood magic. Which he has readily available, since it’s--and I know this comes as a shock--his child. Seriously, that just seems... nedlessly cruel.

Also, to close this out with some (semi-)humour, I want to make this a callout for one Belle Gold, who decided that of all the people present this was the best person to hand her newborn child:

I think I am on record for saying that I would not trust the Blue Fairy with taking care of a gerbil, nevermind a human being. Frankly, if she told me the sky was blue, I’d go outside and check, just in case the apocalypse had gone off while I wasn’t looking. That’s how little I trust her.

Now, I do know that this is not the story of how Blue has been evil all along, but there is a world where that’s the big twist at the end of this episode.

[grimscale-mercenaries]

The Ring

Written by: Thaelea Solarsphere

A full moon shone over Duskwood that evening. The bright light from the celestial body was more than enough to make even the gloomy Darkshire look more pleasant. People were out and about in the city square, mingling and doing business. Thaelea had returned home early that evening, after once again being abandoned by Covie after she initiated a brief conversation. That woman will never tire of running away after a quick chat. Once she had procured some vegetables in the square, Lea returned to her modest manor on the outskirts of town.

“Saraena, I’m home” she called as she crossed the threshold and shut the door behind her. “Welcome home, mom” her daughter answered, but of course didn’t bother actually coming to greet Lea. The girl may be only four months old, but she behaved like a teenager. Thaelea didn’t make an issue of it, leaving Saraena to her own plans while she tended to some work. It had been a week since she had stumbled across a crate full of allegedly magically-infused objects. Though she had given everything within a cursory glance, the Ren’dorei  had little time or desire to fully investigate each one, apart from rooting out a few random trinkets that had no supernatural value at all. Now that she had some spare time, Lea chose to sit down at the desk in her private study, pick one of the items, and really examine it.

None of the objects within the crate had seemed particularly unique or power, not enough to give her a reason to focus on that one specifically. Instead, Thaelea just dug her hand into the sack she had placed them all in and drew one out at random. It wasn’t the torn bear or the calcified horn, which she expected considering their size. No, Lea drew out a ring. The trinket was nothing special; a simple golden band with a minor diamond. It was lovely, in its way, but to an Elf of noble upbringing, it was unimpressive. Lea was poised to set it aside and draw again, but noticed an inscription on the inside of the band: “For the one whose love could not be bought.” A curious message. It wasn’t all that odd, really, but it was enough that Thaelea took an interest. 

The Ren’dorei placed the ring on a mat atop her desk. The mat itself, made of velvet, had a circle runes; the ring placed in the very center. With the ring in place, the runes began to glow a faint pinkish-violet. The arrangement was meant to nullify any native magic in the object beyond the circle, preventing, in theory, any harmful effects from getting out of control. From there, Lea leveled her hand over the ring, her palm and digits glowing a mix of purple and green as she probed the ring. There wasn’t a terribly large amount of magic in the ring, suggesting that its abilities were limited. Even so, there was still magic within the ring. Was it Arcane? No, Arcane had a more neutral feel, and this was most certainly not neutral. Fel? No, far too stable. Perhaps...Void. Yes, that was it. There was a core of void magic buried within the ring.

“Why would someone imbue a ring with Void magic?” she asked aloud to herself. Void was a curious choice of magic to use to amplify an object. Arcane, Fel, even Elemental magics provided a more direct and overt power-boost. Void was less pronounced, working more subtly rather than augmenting a person’s raw potential. Was someone trying to drive another mad, she thinks to herself.  Or maybe affect personality? Thaelea shook her head. “No, the inscription is the clue. ‘For someone whose love could not be bought’. Now what could that mean?” Void magic was not something that usually went hand in hand with love. In theory, it’s possible that the magic was imbued after the inscription, to affect someone after they had already become familiar with the ring. Possible, but the Ren’dorei was certain that the inscription and the Void magic went hand in hand. “Maybe-” a knock came at the door, not the study’s, but the house’s. 

“I’ll be right there!” Thaelea yelled. She took one more look at the ring, then turned in her seat to rise, only to find the face of her daughter directly in hers. “What’s that?” Saraena asked, eyes locked on the  ring. Thaelea jumped. It was bad enough that she had failed to hear her daughter enter, but to not sense the presence of her magic at atll? That was shocking. “Saraena, what are you-” The younger Solarsphere, not waiting for her mother’s answer, reached out and took the ring into her hand. “It’s pretty. Can I have it?” Lea’s eyes widened, beyond shocked. “Saraena! Put that down immediately!” The girl giggles mischievously and quickly darts out of the study. “What does it do?” She yelled back Thaelea leapt from her chair and ran after her daughter in a state of near-panic. Who knows what magic Saraena was exposing herself to?

The knock at the door repeated. This time, Lea ignored it. She was much too occupied trying to catch her daughter. “Saraena! This is not a game! Give it to me, -now-!” Of course, the child ignored her mother. She ran into the kitchen, putting the table between her and her mother. “Tell me what it does and I’ll give it back.” “You spoiled child, this is not a negotiation!” “Did Covie propose?” “SARAENA!” Thaelea made an effort to lunge across the table, hoping to grasp the ring from Saraena’s hand, but the girl is quicker on her feet. She dodged the grab, then sprinted out to the living area. “Mother, someone is knocking at the door! We can’t be rude, can we?” As Thaelea pushed herself off the surface of the table, she groans. Maybe father’s way was best, she thought to herself before chasing after her daughter. 

By the time Thaelea caught up to her daughter, Saraena had slipped the ring onto her finger. Lea froze upon the realization, momentarily watching her child for an effect. “Saraena...Take that off.” The girl rolled her eyes. “You worry too much, mom.” Ignoring Lea, yet again, she left the ring on her finger and opened the door. It was Mr. Cromwell, the grocer from the square. “Please pardon the interruption, Lady Solarsphere.” Though it was Saraena at the door, the middle-aged man spoke past her to Thaelea. “You forgot the apples you purchased.” The elder Solarsphere smiled, though it was clear she was nervous. “Thank you, Mr. Cromwell. That’s very kind of you to bring them. Saraena, go put them in the kitchen, alright?” The girl didn’t move. “Saraena?” 

Thaelea could not see it, but her daughter stared at the man before her almost in awe. “Is...something wrong, ma’am?” Mr. Cromwell looked uneasy, The young lady just gazed at him. “Saraena? Are you ok? Thaelea moved closer to her daughter, the concern plain on her face. What is the ring doing to her? Before Lea reaches the girl, Saraena moved forward, thrusting herself against Mr. Cromwell in order to kiss him, and not just a small peck. Thaelea’s jaw dropped. “Saraena!” Poor Mr. Cromwell looked as though he had seen a ghost. He tried to step back, but Saraena would not allow it. When she finally peeled herself away, she gazed longingly up at the taller man. “You are such a kind man, a generous man. What more can a woman ask for in a husband?” That was enough. Thaelea abruptly stepped forward and pulled her daughter away. “My apologies, Mr. Cromwell. My daughter is...unwell. She’s been running a fever.” “Mother, let me go. You have no right to stand in my way.”

“QUIET!” “Mother, I love him! Let me go!” 

The Elves pushed and pulled at one another briefly. “Keep the apples, Mr. Cromwell. I need a word with my daughter.” Lea pushed Saraena back then swiftly shut the door. She’d have to deal with Cromwell, later. 

Saraena groaned her protest at having been forcibly separated. “It’s not fair, mom! You have no right to lecture me about the affairs of the heart!” There was no mistaking what had brought this on. Saraena had shown no interest in the man at any point before. As far as Lea knew, she had never even met the man. Her amethyst hues fell to the ring on Saraena’s finger. “Saraena...Give me the ring.” The young woman looked briefly at her hand, then stepped back. “No. It’s mine. He gave it to me. We’re going to be married.” Thaelea sighed. “Just...let me have it back for a moment. I need to look at something. I promise you can have it back.” It was a lie, but Lea couldn’t be burdened with rigid honesty at the moment. Even so, Saraena refused, covering the ring with the opposite hand. “Saraena!” Lea yelled, but her daughter still refused. “Saraena, I’m very sorry about this.” Lea nodded, but not to her daughter. It was obvious that her gaze was on something behind her. Saraena took note of Lea’s line of sight, and swiftly turned around. She found a succubus, one of her mother’s many servants. The demon looked into the girl’s eyes. “Shh, don’t resist, child. It is so much more enjoyable if you surrender.” It was a seduction spell, used by succubi to incapacitate their targets. 

The look in the demon’s eyes was mesmerizing. Saraena froze in place, caught in a trance-like state. Lea took the opportunity to quickly relieve her daughter of the ring. “Thank you, Fereya. Everything is fine now.” The succubus nodded and broke its hold over the younger Solarsphere before fading away into the shadows. Saraena blinked twice, confused at what had just happened. “Wh...what happened? Mom?” Lea stepped up behind her, placing a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “It’s alright, love. You were under the effect of an enchantment. You were….not yourself. Why don’t you go lie down for a while? We’ll discuss this further, later.” Lea turned to return to her study, pausing briefly to add “Along with the need for a child to show proper -respect- to her mother.” Saraena nodded with ears wilted. She may not have remembered exactly transpired, but her memory of seizing the ring was very clear. 

Upon returning to her study, Lea locked the door this time. She placed the ring back into the nullification zone on the mat. “So, you do have a use” she remarks aloud. The brief incident with Saraena and Mr. Cromwell, while troubling, had proved to be useful. Judging from the events that took place, the ring seemed to inspire feelings of love in the wearer. And not just love, but the impression that the wearer is engaged to be married. But there were still questions that needed answering. Saraena had taken the ring herself, it had not been given to her, yet she believed Mr. Cromwell had given it to her. Perhaps it has something to do with him being the first person she saw after putting the ring on? If nothing else, this explained why Void magic was chosen. No magic affects the minds of people like Void magic. Whether driving them mad, altering personalities, or even completely dominating a mind, Void magic is the go-to. 

Thaelea sat back against the chair, drumming her fingers on her desk as she stared at the ring. The effect of the object was interesting enough, but she found herself more intrigued by the story behind it. She mused aloud to herself, “You could not buy love, so you created and imposed it, instead. How devious of you.” The way she spoke was as if the ring’s maker was standing right beside her. As treacherous as such an object was, the Elf couldn’t help but admire the work that went into it. The amount of magic within was so small, and yet it had such a powerful effect. The corner of her lips tugged upward as Lea took on a lop-sided smile. She reached over to the bracelet on her wrist, opening a comm line to an individual, rather than the entire group. “Covie, darling, I have something interesting to show you. Are you busy tomorrow?” 

[bunsiebox]

An origin story with Kodai and Lum. Not written by me, written by a friend ~

It was cold. That was the first thing he felt, that biting cold, as if Winter itself was gnawing at his fingertips and tearing over his bare flesh… Bare…? His armor, what happened to- The sting of his wounds soon ended his line of thought and overwhelmed the previous sensation. Still, he felt a small amount of joy at that. Feeling pain meant he still hard the parts that hurt. Currently, that meant the right side of his body and his arm. The cold hit it especially hard, so he could only guess it was wet with his own blood. That also meant he blacked out for only a short while, otherwise it would be frozen, and shortly after, so would the rest of him. Mng… His head was hazy… Where… was he…? “Kodai…!” Right… His name was Kodai… Alright, Kodai, retrace your steps… How did you get here?

----------------------

“… You want to come with me?” He stared at the… Well, he assumed it was a girl by the voice, but he didn’t want to open that can of worms. The one who sat across the table was one of many applicants to join his ‘party’. He had denied seventeen, and coincidentally, seventeen had applied That left his party at a whopping… One. “Mhm…!” They nodded, eyes looking him over. The look was familiar, much like a child’s. She looked as if she was about to ask something but thought better of it and held her tongue. “… Right. Tell me, then,” He sighed. “… You realize that I need people who have a specific set of skills. An open mind and eager heart are nice, but if I wanted a useless squire I’d advertise for that instead.” “Mhm… Well, uhm… I can do magic.” They began to play with the small cross on their neck, trying to avoid eye contact. That peaked his interest. Magic was always useful, and something he thought highly of. He dabbled in it himself but lacked the skill to specialize in both magic and martial prowess… Not like he’d admit it.

“What kind? I’m going to assume divine magics, based on your… attire.”

“Ah…!” They seemed caught off guard. “… How did you know… What gave it away?”

… Did… did their parents dress them or something? It was obvious…

“… The cross, I guess.” That was what he first noticed, so it was technically true. Still, at its mention, they seemed to stare at it, almost shrinking in their seat.

“… Hehe. I see… Ah, but yes, I do divine magics. Healing, to be more accurate… I’ve actually been staying at-“ A finger held over his own lips was enough for them to stop.

“This isn’t a date, I don’t need to know where you live. Healing isn’t bad, but it’s useless to me if you can’t protect yourself. I assume you can do that much?”

He felt a bit relieved when they nodded, even if he had his doubts.

“And do you have any experience with adventuring?”

“…”

“… Well?”

“… Mn.”

“… Do you have any experience with doing any sort of work for hire of this type?”

“…”

“…” Really…?

“… Do you have any combat or survival experience at all?”

“…” The silence was like a weight around her neck… At least, it looked like it. Could their head hang any lower?

“… Uh…” Think… “… Have you ever helped a lady cross the road?”

“…?! Oh, yes!” She visibly perked up. Was she really that hopeless?

“… Well, it’s a start.” But still, this was the part where they all gave up. “You realize that by signing this contract, you will be in my service, not an equal. My orders will be that, orders, not suggestions, not requests, orders. They will be done without argument or hesitation. In addition, you will be bound by Geas once you sign to ensure you do not take the money and run when you get the chance. You will be paid thirty percent of what you will be rewarded up front, with the rest being paid annually or in a lump sum, along with a cut of any and all treasures found, within reason. Death is possible, likely, and a realistic consequence should you come. If you understand and agree, sign here with your name, sex, age, race, so on and so forth.” He slid them a quill and scroll. “Take all the time you need to read.”

Mng… Well, once they gave up, he would likely move to another town and try his luck th- “Done!” They handed it back. “Oh, good- Mn?!” He snatched it from their hand… Lum Nnamani, female, 23, human… It was all here. “…” He looked up at her smiling face. “… Looks like you have some grit after all. Alright, here you go, cleric.” He dropped a heavy bag of coins in front of her. “Oh, you’re paying me in silver? I thought it said gold…” “… It… did?” He arched an eyebrow. “… But it said one hundred gold for doing this, and this is so many coins… A third is just thirty something, right?” She took the bag, nearly wheezing when she looked inside. “Ah?! So much… Gold…” “… Of course…” One hundred, huh…? “… No, the job isn’t one hundred gold. It’s one thousand.” However, she didn’t seem to be listening, just staring. Most people would never see that much money in one place… But most also knew that the higher the price, the higher the danger. Still, with how wet behind the ears she was, she likely had no idea… Well, she already signed. Too late now.

“I suppose it will be just you and me then. I suggest using that to buy any supplies you need. We leave in the morning. Any questions?”

“Ah…” She let the coins gathered in her hand spill back into the bag. “Hm… Ah, sorry… What did you say?”

“… Nevermind. Be here by tomorrow morning.” He stood, heading towards the stairs.

“Ok… Ah, wait!” She called out, causing him to stop.

“Yes, cleric?”

“I never got your name!”

“…” It was on the contract… But he had a feeling she just skimmed. “… Av-Kodai ‘Iron Yeti’ of Clan Korandar.”

“… Kodai… Ok, Kodai! Goodnight!”

… He had several complaints about the informality of her words but held his tongue. This was the only person who was willing to risk their life for this mission. He could ignore minor slights, that was the trial of the noble. He disappeared up the stairs.

----------------------

“… Where’s your mount, cleric?”

Lum stood in front of him outside the tavern, bearing a backpack nearly the size of her on her back. He nearly praised her for being overprepared, until her eyes went wide.

“… Mount…? Ah…” She looked away, fidgeting with the cross again.

“… You… You didn’t purchase a mount…”

“… It didn’t happen to cross my mind…?”

“Don’t phrase it like a question!” He massaged the bridge of his nose as she cowered back. “… Alright, fine, we’ll just use the rest of your thirty percent to-“

“Thereisnomorethirtypercent.” She spoke so quick he hardly caught she was speaking at all, and not just sneezing or muttering a prayer.

“… Pardon?”

“… Thereis… nomorethirtypercent.” ... Did he hear that right?

“… Slower.” His eyes narrowed.

“… There… is no more… thirty… percent…” She barely squeaked it out.

“… How in the world did you spent that much gold?!”

“Mn- Don’t yell!” She turned away, as if the massive pack would protect her from him. “There was a man who was selling a magic item, and it was really cheap, and so I-“

“… What item?”

“-and I figured that it was worth the-“

“Lum!” he clapped his hands in front of her, electing a yelp.

“Mn- Huh?”

“… What… Item?”

“… Oh… Oh! Ah, I have it right here… Tah dah…~” She took out a massive tome.

“… Is it a spellbook?”

“… No.” She looked away, hugging it to her chest. She looked disappointed… Was she hoping for a better reaction?

“… What is it, then?” He leaned in for a closer look.

“… It’s a Tome of the Sage.” That sounded… promising.

“And what does it do?” She perked up at his question, clearing her throat before putting on what he assumed was a salesman impression.

“This book has several features necessary for any scholar! It has an endless amount of pages, and anything that you think is put into the book! Like… This!” She opened a page, revealing a crude drawing of what he assumed was himself.

“… And… How, will this help us on a quest? This looks more like something one would use to study.”

“…” She held the book under one arm, using the other to bring the cross up to her mouth to bite on as she looked away.

“It really is useless, isn’t it?!” He barked.

“Ah- I said don’t yell! They sounded really convincing…” She whined as he sighed again. “… Fine. We’ll just… improvise.” She was small… So…

He began to quietly mutter, but before she could ask why, a celestial horse appeared before them. Fur like snow and a mane like silk. It was hardly a second before she was shifting from one foot to the other. He’d seen plenty of children doing this…

“… Yes, you can pet him.”

“Really?!” She gasped, but went ahead regardless, already wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his mane. This would be… exhausting.

  ----------------------

“Why is your hair so long and pretty? I thought goliaths couldn’t grow hair.”

Kodai fought off the urge to grown as the girl behind him spoke up with yet another question. Sharing his horse was bad enough, but this was practically babysitting… How long had it been now, six days…?

“I’m half elf, half goliath.”

“Oh… Which one is the elf?”

“My father.”

“… Can I-“

“You may not touch my hair.”

“Mn…”

This line of questioning was nonstop…

“… if I let you, will you be silent?”

“…?! Mhm!” She sat upright.

“… Fine…” he sighed before reaching back, letting his ponytail loose. Already he could feel her hands running through it.

This was exactly like babysitting a child… Still, he would just have to end-

BOOM!

“Hm… Ah, damnit-“ He hardly had time to think as he felt the ground start to give out from under them, turning and grabbing Lum by the back of her robes before throwing her as far to the side as he could managed. He attempted to jump off after, but by then he found himself falling before he felt the impact of the fall.

----------------------

So that’s how he got here… And by now, his eyes had finally adjusted… Oh. He was on his back in a massive ice cave, the ceiling above him having a hole from where he fell. His armor had been relatively battered, his arm being pinned by a frozen stalactite, keeping him stuck to the ground. Another was lodged into the right side of his body, and several other chunks of ice were around him, one risky stalactite uncomfortably close to his head. Normally, he would have been able to see such a deformity… But normally, he was alone… Still, to die alone…

…

… What was this feeling in his gut? He didn’t like it… It was like a knot, one that grew tighter the more you pulled. He wished it would just-

“Kodai!”

That voice again��� Right, her… But… Before, he had heard it from above… Now, it sounded… closer?

No, it was closer for sure… Which meant-

“Kodai!” He heard the footsteps rushing over. “Oh… Ah… Are you okay? No- Ah, that was a dumb question… Listen, I’m gonna help you out, ok?”

“… Mng…” It hurt to talk… But she seemed to take is as agreement.

“Ok… This is gonna hurt, alright? So, I’m sorry in advance…” She put her hands onto the stalactite in his arm and, slowly but surely, it began to melt. He could see a faint light coming from her hands, but thanks to his vision going in and out, he couldn’t see exactly what she was doing-

“Mn… Nnnnng!” When it was small enough from the melting for her to lift, she pulled it out, leaving the wound open to the freezing air.

“We aren’t done, deep breaths…” She moved to the stalactite in his side, using the same magics before delivering the same ‘assistance’, earning another scream.

“There… The rest of the ice that hit you should just be bruises…” She began to take off his armor. “We’re going to have to leave this behind… You’re too heavy already… And this is all broken anyways… There…” Soon, he was in little more than a shirt and pants, the only pieces of his armor remaining on him being his greaves.

“Now…” She slid off her robes, revealing simple clothes underneath as she laid out the garment. “I’m sorry, but this will hurt too…” She then went to his side, and with a heave from her and a wince from him, rolled him onto her robes. She then took the sleeves, wrapping them together before putting it around her waist like a belt, holding each sleeve like a handle. “And a one, two, three…” She began to walk, gradually pulling him along the makeshift sled.

“… What… are you… doing…?” He felt the pang of regret speaking each word, his body screaming in agony, but he had to know.

“… What? I’m bringing you to shelter.”

“… W… Why…? Broken… Could have… taken money… left me to… die.”

“Hm? Why would I do that? My job was to help you, wasn’t it? I’m helping.” She said it was if it was a matter of fact.

“… Why? Why would-“

“Stop talking… Ah, please. You need to save your energy, ok? I can fix your bad injuries with my magic, but only once you’re out of harm’s way… If you die before then, I’d feel really bad.”

“… Mn.” He let it drop. She was so… annoying…

  ----------------------

“And… there!” She sat back, a wide smile on her face as she finished bandaging his arm. “You won’t be able to use it for a while… But it’ll heal! Some rest and more magic when I restore what I’ve spent should be more than enough to keep you going… However,…” She sat back. “Do you have magic of your own? It took me a long time to find a way down… By all accounts, you should have been dead, you know?” She hugged her knees to her chest, tilting her head.

“…” He stared at his bandages. “… Thank you…” He muttered.

“… Hehe… Is it hard for you to say stuff like that?” She giggled.

“Mn… Don’t tease- “

“But you still didn’t answer my question.” She interrupted.

“… I know some. Nothing as good as yours, enough to know it when I see it…”

“Where did you learn that? I thought goliaths were just… Well…” She looked away.

“Say it.” He’d heard plenty of terrible things about his race.

“… Well… Proud warriors, you know? Big and strong. They wouldn’t need to use magic, you know? They’re like… Strong enough without it.” … That… was a new one…

“… Ah, wait… Don’t talk bad about magic like that.” He grunted. “I learned magic from my father, he was… well, is, a Transmuter.”

“Oh…? Really?” She seemed interested.

“Mhm… Those who can learn and use magic are incredible, don’t talk so poorly about it. Any idiot can learn to swing a sword, it takes a special person to learn something like magic.”

“Ah… Does it…” She looked away, biting the cross as she did.

… Ah… Did he… Compliment her?

… Well… She had earned it, she did save his life.

“… You said your name was Lum, correct?”

“Ah… Well… I wrote it down, but never said-“

“Thank you, Lum.”

“… You… said my name… Hehe… Could you… do it again?”

“… Hm?”

“Ah… no, nevermind-“

“… Thank you, Lum.”

“… Hehe… Now, could you say I did a good job?”

“Cleric-“

“Please?!” She gave him puppy dog eyes. “And say my name when you do it!”

“…” He sighed, but allowed a small smirk to cross his face. “… Thank you, Lum. You did a good job.”

“Hehe… Hehe…!”

… She was exhausting… But…

Maybe it wasn’t so bad.

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Previously Unaired Christmas

Masterpost

5x08: Previously Unaired Christmas

Look - it’s no secret that I am not a fan of this episode.  It still makes my stomach twist a little for reasons that I can’t entirely articulate (and I suspect are far more personal than any real issue the episode presents).  I know people are split on either loving this episode or hating this episode - maybe doing this will help me figure out what’s really going on.  

I, personally, have two issues with the whole thing. (The second one I’ll explain within the narrative of the episode.)  The first is that it does kind of feel like an FU to pretty much everyone.  I don’t necessarily think it’s to the fans explicitly (though the stuff with Kurt kinda feels like that), but in general, I’m guessing they were forced into a holiday episode that they didn’t really want to do by the network.  Because more so, the nastiness towards Christmas feels like that.  

I also have to wonder if Cory’s passing plays a small part.  I mean - this is cracky Glee - it’s been cracky Glee for a while now.  We just had an episode about puppets, twerking, and dressing up in bizarre Lady Gaga outfits.  The show has been kind of off the rails for most of season 5, and this episode almost feels like the climax of that (after the break - things feel a little more...normal?)  

Anyway - I don’t know exactly how we ended up here - but I kind of wish that Glee didn’t end it’s Christmas run on a, well, whatever this note is.  

Oh! And one last thing.  At this point - season six was not shortened.  I wonder if they had another, more heartfelt, Christmas episode idea for their final one.  Hmmm.  

What If

We open with Jane Lynch talking about how this was a secret hidden away episode.  And I’m bringing it up because this whole set up seemed to confuse everyone.  No - this was most definitely not a lost episode, nor do I think it’s any more or less controversial than anything else they did on the show.  (I do think the writers didn’t give a flying fuck - and were warning about that...)  

However, this whole intro does seem to make things confusing.  Yes - it’s set in season 4.  Yes - I’ll bet they did, at some point, come up with the Rough Trade Santa thing the previous year, and just discarded it until now.  However, shout out to @ckerouac for bringing up the point that -- if Glee wanted to go cracky, they could have gone so much further.  I mean if you’re going to go AU - why not do something entirely wacky.  They kind of did in Glee, Actually with Artie’s fantasy.  So, I’m kind of in agreement.  Why bring it back to season 4 (other than you have newbies you have to deal with).  Why not shoot it into the future, or just switch everyone’s bodies again.  Glee can go that extra mile, why not?  Who knows.  

Meanwhile - I need to state that this did not happen in the main timeline.  It could have (sort of - there are so many continuity errors that it hurts my head).  But it did not.  This is completely AU.  And really, I could skip it if I really wanted to.  I’m going through it just the same because a) for completeness sake - it’d bother me if I didn’t, b) there are some interesting Kurt-meta points that I think are worth bringing up.  

That long winded, probably unnecessary preamble aside - here we go. 

Grandma Moses

So.  We open on the New York side with Santana crashing at the loft, buying Kurt weird doll heads and tickets to Dildo island.  (Are we being edgy yet - the writers ask? Just you wait ;))  Okay, so this scene kind of sets up what the whole New York act is supposed to be about.  It seems they want to address two specific things about Kurt (that I have at least seen in criticisms, and I’m pretty sure the writers did, too)  -- a) That he didn’t have enough of a “normal teenage reaction” to his break up with Blaine and b) that Kurt is an old grandma, desexualized gay.  

Well.  Glee being in its FU mode is going to rectify that - just not in the way that’s going to satisfy anyone (I shouldn’t generalize - I know there are people who love this episode, my regards).  

And - in a FWIW thought, Kurt is an old grandma.  He always has been.  That’s just part of the make up of the character.  

The point, however, of Santana’s little monologue of exposition here is to set the stage for what’s going to happen in the rest of the episode.  It reminds me of the Tattooo Guy in The End of Twerk - telling Kurt that if he’s going to go nuts, he has to go all out.  

[2 asides - 1. Santana is also getting rewritten break up stuff (I’m guessing in response to criticism), as they seem to retcon a ton about the Brittana break up.  2. This whole story seems to be a commentary about Kurt specifically, and not really about Blaine?  Blaine seems to be fine this entire episode - though he’s barely shown because he’s off screen with some weird yule log obsession ;)]  

Meanwhile - Rachel has gotten them all jobs as elves at the mall.  Which - I suppose makes sense.  Oh! And weirdly enough - there’s no discussion from Rachel about her own break up with Finn (which makes sense because of Cory), or about Brody, or Cassie, or any of the stuff that happened to Rachel in season 4.  Weird, right? Nah, she’s just a backdrop to the Kurt and Santana stuff.  I will say - Rachel saying that she’ll be the best Jewish Elf ever made me laugh. 

Bad Santa

Ah, the one highlight of the episode - Chris Kurt in that elf costume.  It was like he was born to play an elf.  Lol 

Anyway - they get to the mall, and Santa’s late, and drunk.  (Not really here for bad santa - but his line about them in an ‘equity card’ mindset had me laughing.)  So, of course Rachel takes charge and they try to calm the audience with Here Comes Santa Claus. It’s -- perfectly fine.  In general, I find the music of the episode, with the exception of Love Child, somewhat uninspired.  Oh, right, this is a musical show, we have to have music.  Here’s a Christmas song.  

Of course, at the end, the kids aren’t charmed - they throw crap at them.  Yeah - we totally didn’t see this happen in season 2.  

I have read some meta about how Kurt, Rachel, and Santana are stand-ins for the writers here -- that whatever they do, it’s gonna get crap thrown at them.  (The thought is echoed at the end, too)  Oh! I have lots of thoughts on this, but I should probably save it for another post, cause it’s not really about Kurt.  

So -- the next day? Later that day? Santana goes and takes a bath...in the loft? I have no idea what the time line is.  I haven’t watched the Lima side of this episode since it aired.  Anyway, Kurt and Rachel call her up and beg her to help them.  Santana gives another obligatory joke about Kurt being an old grandma - born to play Mrs. Claus.  (Um, Santana - I think we’ve established that Kurt was born to be that Elf.)  

Oh - this still says so much....

Santana arrives as Mrs. Claus and proceeds to be a bitch to little people under ten.  Kurt and Rachel rightfully look horrified.  Sorry.  I don’t like this sequence.  It’s mean spirited and awful.  I don’t think it’s funny when adults are mean to innocent kids.  Moving on...

And....then we have the arrival of “Sexy Santa” Cody.  (Dude - this guy is totally skeevy to me -- who arrives at a mall without a shirt? But whatever)  And the rest of this plot line gets played out like half baked smutty fanfiction.  

I will say this -- I do think all of this is completely in character for Kurt.  Remember Ricky Martin in season 3?  This is essentially the same reaction from Kurt.  Kurt finds lots of guys attractive -- and he is allowed to react to it.  (And we’re in cracky mode - this is totally played up for laughs, in the same way it was when Ricky Martin guest starred.) 

This is also not one of my issues with the episode. 

Anyway - Cody wants to “get to know” his elves before he helps them.  Ew.  Kurt those abs are clouding your judgment, buddy. 

That Godawful Chipmunk Song

Santana once again reminds Kurt that he’s a stick in the mud and convinces him to spike his own eggnog.  And then Cody arrives.  Again.  Shirtless.  **rolls eyes**  And obviously scoping out the place so he can rob it.  Maybe that’s part of the reason I can’t really get on board with Kurt hooking up with him.  Cause it’s obvious that this guy is gross and going to be bad.  Yuck. 

Anyway, we all know what a light weight Kurt is - and within a few sips of cooking sherry and eggnog, he’s all flirty mcdrunk pants.  

So - this whole Chipmunk thing - in bulletted form because my brain is currently working better that way... 

I, personally, think this song is dumb.  Sorry.  

It creates this super weird adult/kid vibe between Cody and the loftmates, which I find uncomfortable.  

Cody is obviously playing this all up because he’s going to rob them - which makes his actions later really awful.  

Trashed Kurt with anyone else (especially Blaine, but anyone really) would have been hilarious in just about any other context.  

Chris, obviously, had a lot of fun filming this - so I’ll let him have that.  

The point where SO goes on her diatribe - so feel free to skip

Oh, where to start.  

1. Cody is taking advantage of a incredibly drunk, barely legal teenager in order steal from him. I don’t think the writers put a whole lot of thought into it -- other than saying ‘hey, we can make Kurt a sexual creature’, but I do think it was kind of in bad taste. 

2.  I wasn’t personally offended by it - but there were a lot of people who were (especially when it gets to the being tied up, and Kurt telling Cody no), and a lot of people telling them to get over it because it was cracky glee.  The whole hoopla over that in fandom has always left a bad taste in my mouth.  

3. Gross Cody stuff aside, no I don’t think this is out of character for Kurt.  Kurt’s in a bad place about breaking up with Blaine -- and after being pushed by Santana hard enough, having enough alcohol in him, and being presented with the opportunity, Kurt’s trying to get out of his shell a bit and enjoy himself.  He’s perfectly right to do so, and I do think it makes sense that someone going through a hardship like a rough break up with a first love would try something new -- especially being a first time college student with no limitations. 

4. What about “you matter” and baby penguin Kurt?  Well - first of all, I don’t think Kurt has ever been a baby penguin, and I’m going to spend a lot of the second half of season 5 talking about Kurt being very much a sexual being.  I also think that Kurt does and will always be particular about sex -- again, the writers had to get Kurt incredibly drunk and in a very specific situation for this to even present itself.  I don’t think it’s that Kurt can’t (or won’t) have casual sex, but more so that it means more to him when it’s with someone he loves.  Had this not been a throwaway episode intent on being offensive and cracky, that thought might have been explored. 

5. It cracks me up that they kind of even half-assed Kurt being a sexual being.  Sure, Cody’s half naked in-between Kurt’s legs.  It’s more of a slight of hand, though.  The kissing is a) cut away from very quickly, and b) barely kissing (the first part when Santana and Rachel come in isn’t really even kissing - it’s like stage kissing, where you kiss their cheek, it looks like making out, but it’s not).  The whole thing looks way more provocative than it really is. 

6. I do think it’s unfortunate that they didn’t let Kurt be this provocative and flirty (and handsy) with anyone else on the show.  I do think Kurt has hotter moments (with Blaine - in various episodes, I can name them for you if you like).  But the whole being overtly sexual and gay and somewhat naked is limited throughout the show (this goes for Brittana, too, for that matter, and even the Quinn/Santana hook up - they were mostly covered and a good four feet from each other on that bed). 

6B. As an aside, though -- Glee doesn’t do overtly sexual very often, and nearly every time they do it’s for comedy.  It makes me wonder if there was some kind of limitations in general.  I mean, Finchel never got a mostly naked sex scene either - though Blaine and Brittany did -- for comedy.  

7. I do think there’s an interesting story about season 4 Kurt dealing with his break up -- which would have included more intimate moments with Adam, and/or other people.  But that wasn’t the story they chose.  

7B. I do think, ultimately, this was the writers saying - well we could have written that story - but we prefer the one we are doing.  I think it’s in part of the whole FU thing they were going for.  I mean, even for people who wanted to see Kurt get more action -- he’s going to get punished for it in a sec, so even that feels like a bit of an FU.  

Moving on... the next morning Santana and Rachel wake up to find that they’ve been robbed and Kurt is tied up.  

Kurt does say that when he said no to a sexual thing - Cody got aggressive and tied him up.  That is leaning on sexual assault there, show.  Again - I’m not personally offended, but I also don’t think it’s funny either.  

Oh, as an aside I want to mention the whole thrown in joke there about Kurt being sexy to kiss because it’s like he has no kiss (geez, is it just me or is there a blow job joke in there somewhere?) it is a comment on Chris’s physical attributes.  So, calm down people when we get to Santana’s rant in season six.  Every character gets pot shots about their looks. It’s part of being an actor in general.    

Go Feel Shame

It’s...the next day? And Kurt’s talking to Santana (seeming much more Kurt like than the rest of the episode) about how he just wanted to let loose and feel better.  (Well, alcohol rarely helps with that kiddo - but it’s a lesson nonetheless.)  It’s interesting that he says he feels ashamed (he shouldn’t - but I can see why he would).  And he also doesn’t want Blaine to know, ever.  (An odd comment for something that is an AU)  

I do understand some people’s thoughts that they wished Kurt had had a better experience about letting loose a little (and in some ways he did -- I mean that was what The End of Twerk was about).  And I agree in that not every poor decision in your life needs to be met with shame and being robbed.  

But I do think it’s also Glee’s way of saying - hey, we did hear you - and we’re going to continue to tell the story our way.  

They all look really lovely in this scene.  Rachel has a new gig for them - singing behind a wall of glass.  

It’s the fourth wall -- Kurt, Santana, and Rachel are the writers again.  It’s probably better that they stay there for their own safety.  But also - this episode is what happens when that wall is broken down between creators and fandom - a weird mess of....whatever this is.  

Oh! One last final side thought -- no, there’s no Klaine duet.  That doesn’t bother me within the context of this story - it wouldn’t have made sense anywhere.  That said, I’m sorry they didn’t get a final duet.  I think Winter Wonderland would have been a nice conclusion for them.  Let’s take a moment and lament that there was no season six Christmas episode to end on a high note with. 

Time to move on to the regular story at hand.  

[ramblinganthropologist]

DA Halloween 2017 - ‘Til Death Do us Part

(Also, Inkjournal Day 27: A Magic Spell)

For @dahalloween‘s 2017 contest. 

Summary:  Writing letters inside is no fun, particularly when your new boyfriend is outside in the lovely weather. When Kaaras Adaar decides to run away from work for a small break, he gets more than he bargained for. Luckily, he’s fond of squirrels, even if they are dead. Word count: 1882

---

Oh, what a lovely day it was to be stuck inside doing paperwork.

There was enough ink on Kaaras' left hand that he was certain he could get a full hand print if he really wanted to – which he didn't. It was making the anchor glow a strange, purple-green color, and as much fun as it was to look at, he still had three letters to get through before he could give his pen a rest.

“Who is this for again?” He frowned, pinching the bridge of his nose with his clean hand. It was some lord from somewhere in Orlais... or was it a lady from Ferelden? Lately, they all seemed to mash together into one whining hoard that wanted things from him. Keeping names straight was a hellish task, as was neat writing.

It wasn't his fault he was left handed and the ink loved to smudge; it was the damn shem ink.

The page in front of him was half finished, but if he went any further it was bound to smear. While waiting, he should have considered reading other letters, but instead he stood and stretched. Just a little walk couldn't hurt.

Outside, fall was in full swing in Skyhold. Golden leaves littered the ground and crunched underfoot as he walked from the main building with no real destination in particular. A light breeze scattered more to the ground, crimson and orange with just the lightest hint of brown. Being so close to the mountains was perfect for the coloration.

As it was for the piles; off to the side, some of the children had taken to jumping into gathered up bundles of leaves. Kaaras chuckled as he watched and made sure to step aside as one made a particularly long-distance jog. Had he tried that, he might've made a hole in the ground.

Well, maybe not a hole, but a pretty decent dent.

“I wonder what Dorian is up to today.” Color flooded his cheeks, but he kept with his line of thought. If he really wanted to be his boyfriend like they had discovered, he might not mind a little visit to distract him from his work. It might be appreciated even, given what a lovely day it was.

Kaaras would have headed for the library, but a familiar sensation stopped him in his tracks. He had been around the mage long enough to recognize his magic, and it was out in full force near the gardens. In some ways, it reminded the qunari of a cat that was fond of winding its way around someone's ankles: it could be friendly, or it might just break your neck. It all depended on how the user was feeling that day.

He found Dorian near the gardens in a small, closed off area perfect for practice. Just to be safe, he ducked behind a wall to avoid being noticed. With his positioning in place, he was now free to watch the show.

And what a show it was.

Sweat was dripping down the mage's forehead, but he paid it no mind as he swung down his staff towards the ground. Thanks to his choice of outfit for the day, Kaaras got to appreciate Dorian's toned muscles as he worked through whatever spell he had in mind. And oh, he definitely appreciated it as he kept his position behind the wall.

The end of the staff started to glow, and near the man's feet, bones began to rise. Slowly, aided by dark violet energy that swirled like mist, they began to assemble into the skeletal form of what could have been a fox when it was alive. Now, held together by magic, it did a quick run around the yard before stopping under a tree.

“No, go up the tree.” Dorian sounded like a pet owner trying to coax an unruly cat into taking its medicine. The fox was of a similar mind, and stayed firmly on the ground, staring up at its creator with purple lights for eyes. “It's not that hard, I promise.”

It took everything in Kaaras to keep from laughing, including pressing both of his hands over his mouth. Maybe if he had been able to talk, he could have told the mage that the type of fox he was playing with hadn't really been into climbing while alive. Dead, it was just acting on muscle memory.

Well... not muscle memory. There was none of that left. Bone memory, maybe?

Dorian shook his head as he reached down to pat the fox on top of its skull. “Well, at least you're a charming little fellow. I think that will make up for your lack of climbing acumen. You can go back to sleep now.”

When he moved his hand away, the bones slowly crumpled back into a pile on the ground with a light clatter. With a light sigh, he went back to where he had placed a large book and began to thumb through the pages. Thanks to the distance, it was impossible to tell what he was saying.

Maybe practice was over for the day.

Really, he knew he should have been at least a little disturbed by what had gone on. After all, it wasn't an everyday feat to see a pile of bones reassemble itself into what it had been in life. Some people might have considered that perverse even.

Luckily, those people were Andrastian, and he was very much not. In fact, there was something almost strangely charming about how the man tended to his temporary constructs, almost a tenderness to it. It was... sweet, in a weird way.

A very weird way. He would have to get used to that if... whatever they had kept up. He hoped it did, anyway.

At any rate, there was still paperwork waiting for him back inside, and the ink had probably completely dried. Kaaras would have considered turning back, but something  was staring at him. He blinked in surprise as he realized he was face to face with what he guessed might have been a squirrel. It was a guess, of course, because without the flesh or the bushy tail, it could've been a large rat. With just the bones, it could be anything.

It looked at him with glowing violet lights in its empty eye sockets and rubbed its skull with its bony little fingers. Then, it jumped and soon landed on the qunari's shoulder. After a few seconds, it settled in, almost taking a rest there.

In his mind, it could've been cute if not for the fact it was a reanimated dead squirrel skeleton.

“I think it likes you, Kaaras.” Dorian's voice drew his attention – he was waving slightly, an amused grin painted on his face. “Though, I think he'd like it more if you'd stop hiding behind that wall. I assure you I won't bite.”

Well, he had been found out. Still, the qunari chuckled as he stepped out of his hiding space. He brought his new friend along for the ride as he joined the mage in the middle of the yard, stopping only when the squirrel jumped from his shoulder to land at the ground by its master's feet.

Lightly, Dorian prodded Kaaras' cheek with a finger. “Did you skip out on writing letters?”

Before he could ask how, the mage added, “You've got ink on your cheek and chin. Thinking deeply on some matter, are we?”

Now, why would the Inquisitor need to think about anything? This was the easiest job he'd had in years, apart from the whole end of the world, hole in the sky, Andrastian cult fiasco. He should have considered it years ago.

Kaaras chuckled in response as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I'm a little messy when I write.”

Dorian echoed his laughter, the sound causing butterflies to erupt in the qunari's stomach. However, it got even better from that point. From his pocket, the mage drew a clean handkerchief and leaned forward, aiming for the ink spots.

He stopped though, and a frown crossed his features for a brief moment. His hand started to pull back, and briefly he looked to the side. Even the squirrel seemed to shrink down a little, though it was more obvious about it than its master.

Well, he couldn't have that.

“I'm sorry to ask, but could you help me out?” Kaaras flashed a nervous smile. “I'll be here forever if I don't have a way to see where the ink is. Might make it worse and all; probably not a good thing for the Inquisitor to do.”

His words had the intended effect as Dorian popped up like a flower that had just been watered. It probably was all subconscious, but it was still good to see as he finally made the connection between the two of them.

“You're lucky you have me here to help you evade Josephine's wrath. Imagine what she would say if you went into the war room with ink on your face.” He scrubbed a little harder, then added, “Though,if worst came to worst you could always claim it was safe for human contact vitaar.”

Kaaras chuckled at the admittedly weak joke, and leaned into the touch. “Now there's an idea I'm going to have to keep in mind the next time I get something on my face.”

“See? Aren't you glad you have me around?” And then Dorian lowered the cloth. “There, all clean and ready to face the world.”

His hand still lingered on the qunari's cheek, warm despite the chill of fall. Neither moved, focused on the other. Kaaras' hand twitched at his side, perhaps unsure as if to stay there or perhaps travel towards Dorian's shoulders.

A hug wouldn't be inappropriate this early in, would it?

He began to move, but his plans were foiled. The skeletal squirrel had appeared on his shoulder and used the bridge of his arm to jump to its master. There it sat, purple lights glowing in a way he often saw with a certain elf, cheeks stuffed full of stolen chocolate.

Who knew personality transcended species?

The mage shook his head as he looked towards the squirrel. He lowered his hand at last. “That's it, I'm naming you Jackel.”

He then looked towards Kaaras. “I should probably get back to work before this one causes havoc. Besides, don't you have letters to finish?”

There was a teasing lilt to his voice, one that made the qunari's face heat up. Still, he had a point. The fun had to end eventually, and now was as good a time as any. Any longer, and it might grow dark before he wanted to get back to work.

And then, well, the day would be over.

“I'll see you later then?” Kaaras nodded at the squirrel. “Don't do anything your namesake wouldn't do, Jackel.”

And then he was gone, heading back into the main building to finish his letters. Still, he stole one final glance back to Dorian as his cheeks heated up. When it came down to it, the man looked damn good in the fall.

Hopefully, he would be able to avoid work with him more often.

[comicteaparty]

July 27th, 2017 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on July 27th, 2017, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on Aether Eternius by Novasiri.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning. Today we are discussing Aether Eternius by Novasiri~! (https://tapas.io/series/Aether-Eternius) For those new to CTP, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer so pay them no mind if you wish~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! Each chat a top comment will be picked and featured on an ad for this chat, so let’s have a great discussion~! With that said, let us begin with this first question~!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

yay!

Novasiri

Oh boy, this outta be fun. <3

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

let's see...

I like that part when Mak throwed a temper tantrum and turned red

Novasiri

Dawww, when they got pissed at Aion?

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

yes

I wonder how many colors can they be?

Novasiri

I had a lot fo fun planning, and eventually drawing that scene too. Originally Mak didn't change color, that was a more last minuet decision.

They change color based off feeling extreme emotions. So, all the colors of the rainbow. -uo(edited)

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

gah i have to look up names >.>

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

ooooh would love to see that

her hairstyle changed a bit too

really cool aesthetics there

XD

RebelVampire

i hope mak never has a crush on someone and becomes green with jealousy. thatd be very embarrassing

Novasiri

I'm glad ;u;

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

LMAO

that would be so obvious

Novasiri

Oh my gosh

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

XD

Novasiri

There's always Evny. -uo

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

mine is any scene with isilmo in it... all the extra dialog and little thought bits were very amusing

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

I hope all the colors will be shown eventually

Novasiri

they will.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

Isilmo is so cute

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

especially the "no licking" lol

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

LMAO

RebelVampire

i liked the scene with madda-rakt cause i felt it was a mix of being both intimidated and underwhelmed cause madda-rakt was so polite

Kabocha

I pretty much love any scene with Aster. Gimme giant awkward starry person -- they're pretty nifty, I think.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

LOL that

XD

wishjacked

Haha that temper part with Mak was my fave, too!! It had all the best things-- fun colors, snarky Ira, jerks getting mauled

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

poor them

Kabocha

Also Ira is pretty fun too.

Novasiri

I'm glad I got an underwhelmed vibe with Madda-Rakt. It was the ideal point. Since their focus isn't supposed to be intimidating.(edited)

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

yis Ira

also Nova, I'm glad you made the texts larger in the recent pages. One of the reasons why I took so long to read was trying to consume all the texts. XD

Novasiri

Yeah, it's a big reason I also plan to redo the first two chapters; increase text size.

wishjacked

BUT ALSO, OH, I love all the scenes with Umbrage!! They're kinda dadlike with their dialogue but also. So strong. Love it

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

yeah i had to zoom in on every panel in the beginning

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

totally glad I took the time to re-read it yesterday

Kabocha

I didn't find it too much of a problem, but I also read stuff on a huge-ish monitor?

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

legit took me 2 hours

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

its easier for me to read on my phone... since i normally binge read before beds

Novasiri

I'm glad you like umbrage, Chloe. They're very much the big, intimidating, dad character

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

Umbrage is so adorable

Kabocha

(also, Isilmo? The dragon? more please)

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

yus!

Novasiri

there will be more isilmo soon. XD (And he's getting his own side comic)(edited)

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

I never expected them to be so nice since you know, the initial description is that they maul people

RebelVampire

i agree with the others that the pages were a little smallish for text. not unreadable by any lengths. but it did take a while to get through.

Novasiri

They did maul people tho. :3

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

yeah but only bad people

Novasiri

Yeah, it's definitley on the list of 'needs rework'

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

but let me say what i've said a million times before... nova you have the BEST character designs!

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

they were so nice to Mak

Novasiri

sdjfhjkl

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

yus

totally adore those character designs

and the sparkels

Novasiri

Thank you so much

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

even inspired me to do better with mine

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

so far my fav is Umbrage, Ira, and Mak

would totally love to be buddies with Umbrage

wishjacked

SAAAAME the character designs are all SO UNIQUE AND APPEALING,,,,, hashtag goals

Novasiri

Umbrage would be good buddies, just not Aion.(edited)

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

would give umbrage all the hugs ^^

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

yeah

Aion is jerk

RebelVampire

i like how the elemental types are all really unique in design but also share thematic similarities

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

yis

Novasiri

Ah, you noticed that? I'm glad.

Kabocha

STAAAAAAAARS

wishjacked

I was a lil surprised by how good and kind Umbrage was, too, but I actually really liked it?? Like, PLOT TWIST, this fella mauls people BUT they're also totally a good guy! surprise!

Loved that

Novasiri

Each element has it's own aesthetic, but there are things that fit them together as a species.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

ALL THE STARZ

Novasiri

Voids and their staaarrsss. XD

Kabocha

Sorry, I rather like stars, so y'know

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

yus

Novasiri

ilikestarsalottoo

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

yisss

stars and sparkels

Novasiri

Umbrage was a big twist of a character. I wanted to keep their personality in the dark, so when we finally met them, it was a shock.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

well you did a good job there

Novasiri

Just like how we thought Aion would have been the good guy, but turned out to be a total sleezeball

wishjacked

I think it really worked!!

Novasiri

It's also a parody of the whole Light = good, Darkness = Bad

RebelVampire

im not sure i assumed aion was a good guy because arrogance is not exactly a positive trait

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

not really I really thought Aion is a jerk from the start

Kabocha

@RebelVampire I agree. XD But then again, you could be a jerk with a heart of gold

I'm glad that wasn't the trope in play

Novasiri

Interesting, cause a lot of people liked Aion at first XD

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

Umbridge is I thought really some kind of monster who mauls random creatures

Novasiri

Nah, Aion ripped the gold out of themself(edited)

Kabocha

lmao umbridge

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

I see

I read that XD

Novasiri

Umbrage is an interesting one though, but I'm glad you guys like them over Aion.

Means you'll hate me less in the coming chapter

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

lol

RebelVampire

in the coming chapter where theres a happy ending for everyone and they all use mak's color changing ability to have a rave party?

Novasiri

Pfffffhh XD

Ah, a happy ending would be nice.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

Mak turns into a disco ball

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

lol rebel

Novasiri

We'll get to see Mak strobe eventually, in Act 3. It's a while off, and its more trauma induced

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

don't kill umbrage

Novasiri

:3

Kabocha

... o_o

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

i also love how easily it is to get immersed in the world

the backgrounds and scenery really pulls you in

Kabocha

Strobing? like... is this going to be animated

Novasiri

I'm going to attempt it. Yes

Kabocha

>:D

EXCELLENT.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

something like this

Novasiri

More like glitching trainbow

Kabocha

I'm imagining a single page of Mak on a black or transparent background. just.... all the colors

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

would be awesome

XD

Novasiri

But it'll be cool, horrifying, but cool.

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

I forgot this started around this time

Novasiri

But expect animated bits, at least gif wise in act 3(edited)

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

I love the comic, still reading it so I don't know much and am slow at reading it

wishjacked

I can't believe nova is threatening her characters right here in the chat and nobody is screaming yet

Novasiri

Awww, take your time~

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

So far the characters are very expressive

Novasiri

Chloe... you have no idea the horrors that await

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

screms

Kabocha

eh, everyone threatens their characters

and if Draco's around, spoilers get dropped

Novasiri

XD

Kabocha

It is the way of comic tea party. :3

Novasiri

I'm keeping it as vague as possible~

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

its in the by-laws xD

Novasiri

But i may drop a few hints if anyone has specific questions

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

draco = spoiler

the elf

Novasiri

Phineas?

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

he's shuspishus

wishjacked

LALALALALALA NOPE THEYRE ALL GOOD THEYRE HAPPY THEY LIVE IN A BIG HAPPY HOUSE TOGETHER NOVA

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

yis

Novasiri

Good

-pats chloe-

Cause he's gonna get a rather large reveal here very soon

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

that part when Madda Rakt talked to him. There's something going on.

Novasiri

So you may hate him more, or feel really bad for the guy

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

LEGASP

wishjacked

ohhhh

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

i am just very suspicious of him

Kabocha

Phineas is responsible for the entire plot

Novasiri

Mmmmmm rrrrrr.... You're on the right-ish track.

Kabocha

OH NO

Novasiri

But he's not personally responsible

Kabocha

I was just guessing o_o

Novasiri

But something involving him is.

Kabocha

oh dear

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

Kabocha is best guesser

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

OGM

Kabocha

Apparently lmao

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

Kabo is scary

Novasiri

But it also has to do with a character showing up soon.

Kabocha

So he's prolly partly at fault for the trauma Mak's gonna go through ain't he

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

legasp x2

Novasiri

The hint is already in the comic, more so on ch4's cover page. As for Mak, no, the trauma comes a bit later and for a different reason.

Kabocha

(now for the out there part) ...Mak is secretly Phineas' future son.

Novasiri

And it has to do with Gavin, who was mentioned by Aion.

Nope. XD

Kabocha

I had to throw a really bad one in there.

Novasiri

Lol it's okay

Tbh that'd be so much nicer/happier than what Mak's background actually is.

Kabocha

I look forward to learning more about Gavin a bit more though.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

cheks the cover

Novasiri

We'll get a lot of it soon.

Kabocha

It's kind of interesting seeing how much of a hot-button that is for Mak. It's like, dude.

Mak, it can't be thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat bad can it? (clearly it is)

Novasiri

For them it is, of course. XD

Mak's insecure enough as it is, after all. :3

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. At the beginning of Chapter 2, the Matter Lord, Madda-Rakt, pulls aside Phineas. In their private conversation, they refer to Phineas as a “magister” and accuse Phineas of potentially tricking Makumbo. While Phineas assures Madda-Rakt he isn’t “working for them” anymore, Madda-Rakt’s suspicions are not allayed. Who or what do you think magisters are? Why would this cause Madda-Rakt to assume Phineas was trying to hurt Makumbo?

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

awww poor Mak

Novasiri

Speaking of which

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

Yis Phineas is suspicious

squints

Kabocha

Don't trust elves, yo

Novasiri

Pffh

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

I think their intention is to kill null primordials

Novasiri

it isn't, anymore.

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

personally i think he was one of those undercover spy types who betrayed somekind of useful information at some point

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

legasp\

O_O

wishjacked

wHat

Kabocha

Mak also doesn't want phinease touching him? WHAT DID YOU DO PHINEAS

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

oh yeah

Novasiri

Mak's got personal space issues, and doesn't enjoy being touched in general. But Phineas... Mharz is on the right track, but something happened to make that change

Kabocha

wow I can't type

@Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies -- welp.

Novasiri

And such a job wasn't personal choice either.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

I think Phineas is an assassin who's mission is to kill Mak

Novasiri

I could have been, but something happened~ :3

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

nah i actually think he's trying to right his past wrongs now...though im still suspicious

Novasiri

good deduction AE~

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

maybe he was tasked to kill all the nulls

Novasiri

Not nessicarily just nulls, but there is a reason for that.

And it has a lot to do with 'Them'.

Kabocha

dun-dun-duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

legasp x3

Novasiri

XD

RebelVampire

i feel like the best assumption is that the magisters were partly responsible for the shattering

Novasiri

Bingo~

Kabocha

So, is Casmir just not so fond of Aster because of Aster's silence?

or is there history

Novasiri

there's history between the two.

Which will be shown eventually

Kabocha

>:3c

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

wonders what that book thing Madda Rakt gave to Phineas

Novasiri

-whispers- it's actually a tracking device.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

gasp

huh interesting

Kabocha

nobody trusts phineas

Novasiri

And nobody should. :3

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

wow

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

he's absoulutely suspicious

Novasiri

As I said, the coming pages will determine most peoples outlook on Phineas. you'll either hate him outright, or feel bad for him.

Cause there's blood on those hands.

RebelVampire

i trust phineas.....to put some pizza rolls in the microwave for me to eat.

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

oh no blooooood

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

waits for a couple of months... screms

hopefully he didn't poison the pizza

Novasiri

XD

Kabocha

:3

the pointier the ears, the less you should trust 'em

Novasiri

Pffffh

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

Kabo, your Aster has pointy ears..

Kabocha

:3

WELP.

Novasiri

XD

But yes, I'd personally say trusting Phineas is typically not the best solution, at this moment in time.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

LOL nope

wouldn't trust him to carry stuffs

Novasiri

XD

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

or anything really

Novasiri

But his past will come back and bite him in the ass, eventually.(edited)

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

hopefully Kana keeps him in check or something

Novasiri

And it's still up in the air if he lives or not

-minor spoiler-

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

ooooo

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

gasp

totally looking forward to eet

RebelVampire

phineas has to live long enough for his past to be revealed

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

gonna wait for the pages to pile up

Novasiri

Mhmm.

He will live long enough for that. XD

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

LOL

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

yeah it will be the life flashing before his eyes type of thing XDDDD

Novasiri

Hahaha nooo, it'll be slow.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

OMG

Novasiri

and grueling

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

Nova so sadist

LOL

Novasiri

:3

RebelVampire

i felt a bit sad that after dragging phineas and kana with, mak had to end up alone anyway

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

yeah

Novasiri

Mhmm, part of it was to show Mak's actual self away from the rest, the other part was also to give some material for the side comic(edited)

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

I'm also curious how Kana is related to Mak when she's human and Mak is primordial

Tho Ira did asked before how old is Mak when they "died"

Novasiri

Well you don't need to be blood related to be family~

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

true

Novasiri

But kana met Mak after they had died.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

I'm curious how did Kana wound up in the shattered lands

Novasiri

She actually followed Makumbo there.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

oh

I was thinking the outsiide world is lilke earth

where there's no magical mumbo jumbo happening

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

lol read 'mumbo' as 'makumbo'

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

LMAO

RebelVampire

hmmm

then who is this older brother that kana mentioned that gave mak timo?

Novasiri

the Earth Kana and Mak come from actually does have magic, infact it's canonically the Earth in my friends comic, #Wafflefry

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

oh

Novasiri

The older brother is actually a secret. -uo(edited)

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

huh interesting

Novasiri

Yeah, I'm a sucker for interconnecting worlds.

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

me too

Novasiri

As for the older brother, their name is actually Theodore. They will not be freatures by name or image in the comic however.

This is due to the fact that Kanami is created by a friend of mine, who gave me full permission to use the character. Theodore is also owned by someone else, but they did not give me permission to have him in the comic. Simple as that.

So they're more mentioned in passing.

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

oh wow

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

that's really cool! wow

Novasiri

Many threads, yus~

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

must be real nice to have webcomic friends that you can connect universes to

XD

Novasiri

But a lot of the past between Kana and Mak will be explained in act 3 specifically

As with the reveal of why mak died

And what caused the Shattering to begin with

So.. lots of bomb shells

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

ogm and we're still in act 1

wishjacked

Hey, made it back, sorry!!

Novasiri

Welcome back Chloe~

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

how many chapters in an act?

Novasiri

at least 4-5 chapters

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

I see

Novasiri

Act 1 is exactly 5 chapters

wishjacked

Oh, I'm SO INTERESTED in knowing how the primordials and afterlife work in this world....

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

yus!

Novasiri

We'll get a lot of that Chloe, in the next act

A lot of that

but if you have specific questions, you can ask about it

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

i wonder what the null lands looked like

Novasiri

with the rework of ch1/2 we'll see breif glimpses of what it is now, AE.

wishjacked

the worldbuilding seems to be built a lot on death and I really want to know how it ties together hahaha.

Novasiri

Cause i'm adding a scene or two

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. The comic’s world is vastly characterized by the Shattering, which greatly damaged the Planes and resulted in Null being wiped out completely. Despite Makumbo being reborn as the new Null Lord, though, there is still much chaos present. Why do you think Makumbo, of all people, became a Null? Does the Shattering have anything to do with why seemingly new primordial types are coming into existence? What do you think happened to the All-Father who was partly responsible for the Shattering?

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

yay

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

maybe mak is a reincarnation of the All-Father ./shots

Novasiri

Ooohhh man...

Nah Mharz, that lazy ass is still around somewhere

Kabocha

...in pieces?

Novasiri

Noooo ouo

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

huh I see

Novasiri

I am curious to hear the theories tho.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

really a lazy ass?

Novasiri

The All Father's identiy has been hinted at, you jsut gotta read between the lines a bit. -uo And put together some dots

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

for some reason i feel like null has some kind of bigger purpose in the grand scheme of things...something more than the other primordials....something that is contrary to what we think when we think of the word null

almost like a balance

Novasiri

Good guess~

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

or constant

Kabocha

IT'S PHINEAS

wishjacked

well I hate to keep beating my death horse this but my theory is that the null lord creation has something to do with type a of death

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

damn

XD

Kabocha

(no, I know it's not)

Novasiri

Chloe

on the nose

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

Mak was a human initially before turning into a Null lord

Novasiri

A lot of primordials are, however. Including Dunkan. But he's a Void. -uo

but Chloe is on the right track, how, when, and why you die make a BIG difference

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

that's very interesting

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

wut 0.0 omh

omg*

Novasiri

I'm actually alowed to spoil this, as it's world building, not so much integral completly to the story.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

wishes I can make stories as twited as that

Novasiri

Primordials are created from a certain type of soul.

A 'Lost' soul.

A soul that's unfit for their determined afterlife

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

your allowed to spoil what you want...its your story XDDDDD (couldn't resist)

wishjacked

EEEEEEEEEEEE??

Novasiri

How they died, who they were, how old they were all play factors into what element they become

Null has very, specific, parameters

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

wow that's REALLY neat

wishjacked

OK THAT WAS PART OF MY GUESS TOO

Novasiri

Very.. grim... parameters

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

yis

wishjacked

YIKES

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

flails!! more excited now

Novasiri

Because for a Null to be formed, it has to be a childs soul.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

null and void makes me think of programming. XD

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

oh no how sad

Novasiri

So we're talking someone has to be below the age of 10, even stillborn... and has to not just die, but their soul has to be lost to the unknown. Which is extremely rare as many 'gods' tend to shelter these types of souls.

So something usually goes 'wrong' when a Null forms

RebelVampire

hmm that does give context for why ira auto thought to ask mak how old they were when they died

Novasiri

Mhmm

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

isn't Mak 11 when they died?

Novasiri

Makumbo was no exception to the rule, however, HOW he died played a major part in why he's a Null.

And yes, he was.

But

wishjacked

My theory was that the reason null has so few souls is because the death is so rare and bizarre. But I couldn't think of why the previous null lord would be much more impressive than Mak (according to freaking Aion) if they were both children's souls

Novasiri

Again, the hows kick into play here.

wishjacked

AWWW BABY

MAK

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

huh interesting

Novasiri

I will spoil it here, but only here.

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

is on the edge of her seat

Novasiri

Makumbo's parents were researchers, specifically on the element of Null.

wishjacked

someone give this Lord a cup of cocoa and a warm blanket stat

ohhhHhhooooooooooo

Novasiri

At the age of 6, he was disowned for not being adept in magic.

And then used as a living experiment

to artificially create a Null Primordial

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

WHOA

thats CRAZY

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

wow

Novasiri

Now, Primordial energy + A living body is bad, really bad.

It literaly turnes into a cancer

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

Nova spilling all the stuffs

Novasiri

And eats ytou from the inside out

wishjacked

I was about to say I was really glad to be in this server so I can get all the spoilers but I just changed my mind this is the worst I'm cry

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

ouch

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

we do have a spoiler chat

Novasiri

So Makumbo actually 'died' internally, but was kept alive through artifical means.

wishjacked

nova dude

Novasiri

:3

Makumbo's actualy death was around the age of 8, but it took 3 more years for the energy build up to finally go nuclear.

Which it did.. and wiped out the complex, and his family..

And essentiallym freeing him. But he was concious the whole time.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

OMG

wishjacked

my poor baby

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

that sounds majorly tramatic

Novasiri

It's gonna be fun to depict in the comic when the time comes. But yeah.

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

and traumatizing

RebelVampire

well this got dark

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

Rebel brings the popcorn

wishjacked

brb I'm going to hell the beat his parents into jelly

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

it got DEEP

Novasiri

that explosion of null magic is what alerts Kana to Makumbo's location, she tracks him down, and it's how they meet; she winds up smuggling him to america to protect him.

And hilariously only reason Kana was close enoug to see it, is because she was being a brat and testing demolition tools

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

LOL

Novasiri

But yeah....

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

lol brats ftw

Novasiri

And to think, that's just Mak's death... It's no where near as bad as Gavin's.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

brb

Novasiri

which i will not be spoiling

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

no wonder Mak is so timid

RebelVampire

gavin melted in a pool of acid for 100 years

Novasiri

But enough about my blabing, back to the question at hand. XD

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

lol

i think this atmosphere just inspires spoilers x3

Novasiri

XD

there's some things I won't spoil, like the All-Father's identity. That you have to figure out yourselves

As for Astrov and Zenith, aka Possitive and Negative. It does have to do with the shattering in a way.

More of a by-product of the Planes trying to 'fix itself'.

Not saying the whys and hows, but it does have to do with one another.

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

i love their clothing

Novasiri

Thank you, their inspiration is very heavily on 'Life' and 'Death' thematics

RebelVampire

so if astrov and zenith are a byproduct of the planes trying to fix themselves, this makes me wonder if theyll be okay if void and null are restored to proper order. since if theyre sort of fixed their existence may no longer be needed.

Novasiri

-eyebrow waggles-

And we'll get to see what happens, eventually~

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

oh noooo not one of those sad fading into the midst ending scenes cries

Novasiri

hahaha no, none of that

There will be fighting, and bickering, and probably some deaths

Kabocha

comes back to holy crap spoilers

Novasiri

XD

Kabocha

MAK YOU PRECIOUS LIL THING

Novasiri

It's most character spoilers, not major plot spoilers, so I'm more okay with some things coming out

Gavin's stuff is major plot spoilers, so... I be hush hush

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

spoilers are spoilers...we take whatever we can get XD

RebelVampire

as for all-fathers identity....my first guess would be ira cause despite ira calling all-father lazy for jumping ship and leaving everyone to clean the mess up, ira seems to have mysterious goals, can change form, and somehow paralyzed aion. but i feel that may be too obvious of a guess and theres plenty of flaws to the idea. theres another guess i may make but i need to check something first

Novasiri

Hmmmm~

Kabocha

I look forward to learning more about Gavin. This would probably explain why Mak reaaaaaaaaally hates getting compared.

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

oh interesting thought rebel

Kabocha

And hm. Ira as the all-father? I'll hop on that train.

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

i actually hadn't thought about who it might be

Kabocha

though Ira seems a little... irate about having to clean up after him.

Novasiri

Hmmm indeed~

I'm choosing to be silent here, cause I know.

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

lol

RebelVampire

but at the same time ira is sort of cleaning up after him by helping mak

so i could argue that the all-father is cleaning up his mess just in secret sort of an in a hands off way

and in disguise cause if i was a primordial i dont think id be too happy with all-father

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

i actually like this thought

Novasiri

So hard to hold my tongue right now

It's very hard

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

hahahaha

Novasiri

Please continue tho

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

hands nova superglue >.>

Kabocha

Ira's just watching, though. I dunno, I suppose we'd have to see how it goes. ....Also how likely is Phineas to get severely injured by the guy tailing them?

Novasiri

Very likley

Kabocha

Madda has NO trust in the guy

Novasiri

Almost guarenteed

Kabocha

losing a limb?

Novasiri

une is very, very dangerous.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

Ira seems to have a very suspicious power they used at Aion

Novasiri

Mhmm~

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. Act 1 is focused on Makumbo helping Madda-Rakt pick a new Void Lord. However, the choices are pretty slim. Makumbo can either pick the pompous Aion or the bestial Umbrage. Who do you think will become the new Void Lord? Speaking of which, what does Ira have to do with everything that’s going on in regards to Void? Is Ira just that helpful or is Ira up to something?

wishjacked

I bet the mimic is the all-father. XD

Novasiri

LOL, nawww. Timo is just timo~

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

LOL

would love it to be umbrage personally

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

umbrage!

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

umbrage is so adorbs

Kabocha

Umbrage seems more fitting to do the job at hand

Novasiri

XD A fun tid bit, originally I was planning to host a Patron poll to determine who would become the Void lord, however, this has now been set in stone, and chapter 5 will be the deciding method of who gets the job. But it's not about to be on a handshake.

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

oooo

Novasiri

one of them is going to die.

Kabocha

plz be aion

and plz be explodey

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

was thinking that at some point Aion and Umbrage would merge

LOL

Novasiri

It will also be the first introduction on death for Primordials.

Cause it's not good.

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

that would be cool to see mharz

Novasiri

You'd be on the right track, Mharz. However neither will be going down without a fight.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

omg

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

0.0

Novasiri

The death is more along the lines of the personality dying, while the other reabsorbs the power.

Chapter 5 is literaly a giant Duel.

Kabocha

well then

they get the power but not the decency

or asshattery

Novasiri

Not going to say who wins, however.

Also breif BRB, pizza just got here.

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

yay pizza

don't let Phineas touch it

Novasiri

I may not be back by the time it concludes, but if I don't, I'll still hang out to answer questions if you'd like to ask them

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

waits for a year for all pages to be posted

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

dont let silver touch the pizza either XD

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

LOL

nah Silver will just eat the pizza

all of them

if she can eat

RebelVampire

regardless of who becomes void lord, the question is will they be able to take on the eldritch horror thats consuming void.

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

i dont think they can do it alone

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

yee

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

mak is going to have a major role in that

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

I think the three of them are, including Madda-Rakt

RebelVampire

lol im not sure i could picture madda-rakt getting that involved. they seem more like a sit in the background eat popcorn and give moral support type of person XD

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

LOL

RebelVampire

granted im sure madda-rakt is powerful

just

if madda-rakt was so forward idk why madda-rakt didnt go reign in aion and umbrage

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

hey you two can do this, I'll just sit back right here

RebelVampire

decided "man ya know whats a great idea? asking the new null lord ive never met"

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

good point

they're pretty protective at Mak too

RebelVampire

granted im sure theres reasons besides that. XD

just madda-rakt seems more likely to leave stuff to the youngins

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

unless there is something about the situation that only a null can do

RebelVampire

yes thats a possibility too

or madda-rakt is partly testing mak

thinking that null isnt going to make a comeback if the new lord sucks

Kabocha

madda said something about not being able to interfere, I think?

RebelVampire

maybe. but i take ppl saying i cant interfere with a grain of salt XD cause i find its usually a coin clip between cant and just wont

and to be fair

the story did seem to indicate that in the hierarchy of power null beats void

so there seems to be a rock paper scissors thing going on i guess?

where elementals have advantages and disadvantages against certain types

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

huh that's pretty interesting

meanwhile nova is watching while eating the pizza

RebelVampire

assuming phineas didnt get to nova first

rip

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

lol

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

dang it Phineas

but I think Null is the powerful out of all them

RebelVampire

that could be too

that nulls in general just badasses

with them strobes

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

one of the reasons why they're eliminated becos probably some find them very threatening

RebelVampire

could be although gavin seemed to be pretty respected in a way?

so since theres only 9 mins left does anyone have any closing thoughts?

Kabocha

MORE ISILMO

RebelVampire

crack theory: isilmo is the all-father

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

LOL that would be best plot twist

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

OM

Novasiri

-munching cinammon sticks- :U

Kabocha

that's it, story's over

get your fire dragons to fix the world

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

I want Isilmo to grow big and strong

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

lol

Novasiri

I read up, yes, there is a sort of power-triangle, or rock paper scissors ordeal. But.. there's also a big rule. Cause a Lord can't Kill another Lord. Madda-Rakt may be pwoerful.. but they can't go after ulhamig alone, cause they wouldn't be able to kill it even if theyw anted to.

Isilmo is gonna get big... He's jsut a baby right now. When he's fully grown, he'll be the size of a clydsdayle

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

maybe Isilmo will save everyone

Novasiri

XD

RebelVampire

so does that mean mak also wouldnt be able to beat ulhamig alone?

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

also curious where Isilmo came from

Novasiri

Mhmm. Mak wouldn't be able to.

It's gonna be a combined effort.

isilmo came from an egg.. lol

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

they all are going to break the rule together?

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

Bookmarked the comic for later, but I really have to say I love the dynamic of the characters so far :3

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

LOL

egg

duh

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

wait wait

WAIT

Novasiri

Like... Isilmo is only 6 months old. Tops.

He's a babu

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

the wind lord seems to be a dragon too

Novasiri

Shit

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

hahahahaha

Novasiri

Forget I said that

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

O_o

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

applauds

Novasiri

-deleted it- :I

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

O_O

Kabocha

bwahaha

Novasiri

Wind is a big dergon~ A special type of dergon~

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

i wanna dragon

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

dergon

:3

Novasiri

Yus~

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

still rooting for umbrage

Novasiri

:3

Mharz of Angels & Punchy Ladies

so nice and big and adorable

AngelicEmpyress of Chromacity

yus

RebelVampire

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party is now complete~! Thank you everyone so much for joining this week’s chat~! That being said, if you would like to continue discussing the comic, we encourage you to do so~! We want to give a big thank you to Novasiri, as well, for volunteering Aether Eternius for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support Novasiri’s efforts. If you have questions, concerns, or suggestions about CTP, please feel free to PM me, or e-mail me at RebelVampire@startfaire.com.

With that said, next week’s Comic Tea Party will focus on The Cat, the Vine, and the Victory by wnqs. Please use this week to read as much of the comic as you would like. Hope to see you next Thursday (August 3rd) from 5PM to 7PM PDT~! Until then~! Comic: https://tapas.io/series/The-Cat-The-Vine-and-The-Victory(edited)

[vaffaznculocolmpadrter]

OC Interview: Sparrow the Druid

Rules 1. Pick one of your characters 2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you are being interviewed for an article and you were your muse. 3. Tag people to do this meme

Holy fuck this is a lot of words for a lot of questions. I hope you enjoy this out of context hullabaloo i had fun writing it at least.

       As a mysterious journey brought our heroes to the lakeside city of Thrushmoor, a man decided he wanted to know more. More about this strange band of adventurers, who were traipsing about this dour nation of Ustalav and righting some of its many wrongs. After an afternoon of asking about town, he easily discovered the name of their inn. (Appearances such as theirs are not easy to mistake, especially a young lady of drow descent and a woman with what only be described as a ‘mane’ of impossibly red hair). As luck would have it, it was those very same women he chanced upon.

       He introduced himself as a writer, and told them of his plea; they were understandably confused. (The purple-skinned elf coincidentally played the part of the shrinking violet, while her companion could not have been any more her foil if she tried). The wild, redheaded lass towered over them, and after a few more explanations, agreed to speak.

      That interview is recorded here, exactly as it occurred.

What is your name?

Sparrow.

What is your real name?

*Sparrow ruminates for quite a bit before answering.*

You know… when a serial killer ghost uses names for his dumb ghost magic, and you see the word ‘sparrow’ appear in blood on the wall… I guess there really isn’t any other answer that matters.

Do you know why you were called that?

Nah, not really, though I’ve been called that for like, EVER. As long as I can remember, even… Huh… I wonder if little me ever knew.

Are you single or taken?

What’s that mean?

*Her companion Cylerra walks over and leans down to whisper something in Sparrow’s ear. A look of realization blooms on her face as she listens.*

Oh. Uhhh… that is. Hmmm. That first one sounds about right, I guess.

Have any abilities or powers?

Oh dude easy question. First off I’m a druid do you know what a druid is yeah yeah you know what a druid is. So I’m one of those. Oh. You want a bit more than that? Uh. I’m pretty good with fire magic and… what else. Oh! Oh oh I know I don’t look it but I’m pretty good at making magical do-dad thingies.

*Sparrow waves Cylerra over again,  points to the small ornate clip nestled in her white hair, and grins.*

See that? I made it. It’s cute as fuck too, right?

Stop being a Mary Sue.

*Sparrow silently squints, her mouth slightly ajar. She closes and opens it a few times before responding*

I’m. Going to assume that’s a bad thing to be. So… sure. I guess.

What’s your eye color?

Well, if you asked me a month ago the answer’d be some kind of grey… but recently we all woke up with some sparkly ass silver eyes after a weird divine magic butterfly dream thing. I think it’s pretty neat, seeing as all of us match now and stuff.

How about your hair color?

Oh! Okay so imagine the reddest red you’ve ever seen. Ever. In your WHOLE entire life. Got it? Now…

*Sparrow hovers her thumb just a centimeter away from her index finger.*

That’s how close my hair is to your reddest red.

Have you any family members?

Huh. Hmmm… now that i think about it, I suppose I got three different families.

*Sparrow begins to count on her fingers as she lists them off. She hesitates on the first finger, motioning with it several times before speaking.*

…there was- …there is- …there- fuck! There.

*Sparrow grows flustered, sighs, and begins counting again.*

Ma and Pa. The wolf pack. And the old green dickbag who taught me magic… There, that’s- Wait… actually no, sorry. I was being dumb for a second. There’s four.

*Sparrow’s mood brightens as she turns to see Cylerra, who meekly waves back in response before returning to her book.*

I have four families.

Oh? What about pets?

I suppose you mean that wolf pack I just mentioned. Like I said before, I consider them family, which is probably going to confuse a few people. I guess I could explain a bit. They’re family because, well… they saved my life. It happened when I was little… and when I needed them most.

*Sparrow averts her gaze toward the floor, and absentmindedly begins tracing circles on the table.*

Afterwards, I was… really, really scared. I didn't want to be left, alone... So I. You know. Followed after them… I don’t remember for how long. Or how far. But then, one day… I was just. There. With the wolves. Sleeping. And eating. And Playing.

*Sparrow glances back up just as tears begin to well in her eyes. Her emotional display startled her, and she quickly wipes her face with a hand.*

Oh, wow. Jeez, what am I  doing? My friends don’t even know those details and I’m just spilling them all over your dumb stupid shitty fucking notebook… Sorry. I didn’t mean to call you and your notebook dumb. Oh, I didn’t call you dumb? Well. I was thinking it, so. Sorry about that too, I guess… So, uh. Pets, right? Um, I have a silly little plant buddy I made with magic, does he count?

Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

Let’s see…

*Sparrow straightens up a tad and takes a deep breath.*

Relaxing. Hunting. Goofing off. Solving mysteries. Hanging out with Cylerra. Poking fun at Cylerra.  Exploring. Swimming. Watching my friends do the things they like. Drinking. Dancing. Eating- Oh yeah can’t forget about eating. Feeling mud between my toes. Listening to the forest. Meeting new people. Playing with fire. Star-gazing. Seeing Trey be bad at being serious. Sun-bathing. Making nifty magic crap. Sleeping. Fucking. Kicking ass. Fl- oh, okay sure I can stop if that’s enough.

That’s cool I guess, now tell me something you don’t like.

Undead come to mind for sure. I hate zombies I hate wights I hate ghosts I hate wraiths I hate werewolf ghosts I- Oh, yeah. And FUCK mummies. HOLY SHIT DUDE DO I HATE MUMMIES. Throw every single one of them into the garbage pit and set it on fucking fire please.

Ever hurt anyone before?

I think that’s like… part of being an adventurer, right? Like. If you are an adventurer and you go on adventures if you keep continuing to adventure, you are gonna hurt someone eventually. Punching or feeling wise, its bound to happen.

Ever….killed anyone before?

I have, yeah. Like, when I count it up, Ive definitely hunted plenty of animals and recently began killing a good chunk of undead, but they probably don’t fall under everyone’s ‘anyone’ category. I think it’s safe to say werewolves and cultists do though, so yeah. I have killed dudes before.

What kind of animal are you?

Well technically I can be basically whatever the heck i want, but I think you mean like, in a figurative way? Still though. Dude. I think it’s pretty obvious.

Name your worst habits.

I’m told I say things I shouldn’t a whole bunch. Like basically every day all the time. ‘Sparrow no you can’t say that, no Sparrow that’s inappropriate, Sparrow stop you’re offending them.’

*Sparrow sighes.*

What else… I get told I’m too loud. or wait, I don’t think that’s really a habit. Hmmm. Some people complain about how I eat? Manners or something dumb like that.

Do you look up to anyone at all?

Not that often. Apparently I’m pretty tall for a lady, so most of the time I’m looking down to people instead. I definitely had to look up to Gallows though, that dude’s hat scraped on door-frames sometimes.

Gay, straight, or bisexual?

Uh. Hmm.

*Sparrow counts on her fingers as she mouths a few words to herself. After several seconds, she quickly gives up .*

I don’t really know how this sort of thing works. Do amounts matter?

Do you go to school?

I’ve gone to a school once, when we visited Cylerra’s old one. But you mean like, going to school, like what she did. So no. I’ve never gone to school. And thinking about it… even if things had been different… I don’t think I ever would’ve had the chance anyways.

Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

*Sparrow freezes for several seconds, then laughs uncomfortably. She begins fiddling with her hair as an awkward silence fills the table.*

I’ve, uh. Never really… thought. About it. Before…

Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

Oh! Do kids pretending to be me count? Because if that does then yeah yes I do have fans. Man, those little pups were really sweet once the town finally unstuck themselves from their own asses and realized we weren't trying to ruin their lives.

What are you most afraid of?

Most afraid of? Hmmm. I guess... being unable to- to- Damn I don't know how to say this. Okay. Say someone I knew and liked was in trouble. Like, some really, really bad shit was going to happen to them and I’m seeing it as it happens. I'm afraid of when a time like that comes... and I can't even try to do something about it.

*Sparrow pauses.*

Wow. That was so serious I bet you wanted things like heights or dark spaces.

What do you usually wear?

I don't really got a signature outfit or nothing but you can bet you'll see me wearing this!

*Sparrow enthusiastically gestures to the wolf pelt slung around her shoulders.*

Do you love someone?

Well, I love my families. I love my friends and my pack and my. Parents. And I love my shitty teacher too, I guess. That's ab- Huh? What do you mean that's not what you mean? Oh. Oooooh. You mean like. How my Ma loved my Pa, and my Pa loved my Ma...

*Sparrow rubs her the back of her neck as she falls deep into her thoughts.*

... No. I don't really love anyone the way they love each other. And I'm not really sure if I ever will...

What class are you? (high class, middle class, low class)

I never cared about stuff like that. I never had to. I was the little girl of a hunter and a potion maker who lived in a house outside of town at the edge of the woods and we were the most happiest people in my whole wide world...

*Sparrow’s wistful stare is distant, and accompanied by a small smile. It lasts but a moment before her face turns sour and she shakes her head.*

Then I lived in the forest with a whole shit ton of wolves and a crappy old orc for a while. So. Low, I guess.

How many friends do you have?

I like to consider anyone who isn’t a jerk to be a friend. Life is a whole lot funner that way. But if I gotta name names... Kendra, I think. Zokar the tavern owner - damn I love that guy I kinda miss him. Grimsbarrow... Shit basically the entire town of Ravengro. That cool Crooked Kin circus we ran into. Barrister Kaple - hope he keeps growing that backbone we gave him. The Beast of Lepidstadt- Ah! See, I knew you were gonna give me a face like that. Nothing but the truth my man. Hmmmm. Oh! That badass at the lodge... Graydon! Graydon.

*Sparrow leans forward, hides her mouth with a hand and whispers.*

Now, I said I have a lot of friends, but I think Cylerra is my best friend. Don‘t tell anyone though it might hurt their feelings.

What are your thoughts on pie?

I like them. Especially fruit ones. Though Zokar’s meat pie was pretty good with some ale.

Favorite drink?

Oh, fuck. I don’t actually know... There’s so much good stuff out there and I’ve only had like a sliver of it.

What’s your favourite place?

Wow damn dude you keep asking all these hard questions. How can someone decide when there are so many places to choose from? ...Eh, I suppose I could say the woods I spent my whole ada- adu- ader- Sorry hold on.

*Sparrow swivels around and shouts Cylerra’s name at the top of her lungs. Cylerra yelps in surprise and the book she had been so patiently reading clatters to the floor.*

WHAT’S THE THING THAT’S NOT A BABY OR A KID, BUT ALSO NOT AN ADULT OR AN OLD PERSON?

*Cylerra glares at Sparrow, and begins to move one of her hands in an intricate fashion. Suddenly, small fiery letters appear out of thin air in front of Sparrow. As the word forms one letter at a time, it clearly spells ‘ADOLESCENT!’ But the moment the exclamation point appears, the entire array explodes with a loud pop and a large puff of smoke! Cylerra storms out of the room, as Sparrow is left with a soot-covered face.*

THANK YOU. So yeah I spent all of that thing in the same huge ass forest. I know that place in and out and up and down and basically any other direction you can think of.

Are you interested in someone?

Yeah I- Wait. Is this another one of those questions? Where I don’t understand it at first and it ends up being about sex or something? Yeah, I thought so. Looking for someone to fuck is not really on my mind considering the fact that I mmmmm-not going to tell you that because it would be dumb and get me thinking about it again and then get me worrying about it aga- MMMMMNH!

*Sparrow’s nostrils flare, and her face contorts into an expression of exasperation as she wipes the soot from it.*

Next question please.

What’s your bra cup size?

*Sparrow casually reaches into her shirt and gropes herself. After a squeeze or two, she removes her hand and shows it off.*

About that big.

Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

Oh oh oh I’ve never been to the ocean that’s the one with the salt in the water right? I really want to go! I want to see it for myself, hopefully I can drag my friends with me it sounds like a blast.

What’s your type?

*Sparrow’s face becomes stoic as her eyebrows raise.*

I think I know your game now, mister writer man. My type is people I like. Okay? Okay.

Any fetishes?

Huh? You mean those little charms you make that are suppose to ward off evil or whatever?

*Sparrow immediately drops her deadpan facade and taps a finger on her lips in thought.*

Nah, not anymore. The green geezer had me making them all the damn time when he first started teaching me. It didn’t even have anything to do with druidism he just wanted to waste my time. I wanted to run away so bad back then, but he kept finding me and dragging me home every time I tried. I guess I gave up after failing for like a year. I think that’s about when he starting teaching me for real.

Seme or uke? Top or bottom? Dominant or submissive?

I don’t even know what half of these things mean but I’m definitely not submissive, so dominant I guess.

Camping or indoors?

NATURE IS MY MIDDLE NAME OF COURSE I’LL ALWAYS PICK CAMPING also nature is not actually my middle name don’t write that down.

Are you wanting to quiz to end?

Yeah this took way longer than I thought you should really tell people that before you sit them down and vomit questions at them.

[baekhyunsahoe]

red rover, red rover

SHANNARA CHRONICLES AU ; BAEKYEOL

=======

“What are you, half elf half stupid?”

Chanyeol’s pointy ears flush with embarrassment. Apparently, not only did today’s forecast include getting ambushed by a wandering bloodthirsty troll two steps into Chanyeol’s wholesome quest to reach the village of healers, but another attack is in store for him albeit verbally by his so called ‘savior’.

“No. I’m actually half elf, half human,” Chanyeol answers though he’s pretty sure that was a rhetorical question. He’s still on the floor having not recovered just yet. The muds soaked into his trousers leaving a questionable poo looking stain on his behind but that was the least of his worries.

His ‘savior’ looks down at him from his stance atop the grassy hill. Between them is the fallen troll, a sickle lodged in it’s thick neck. Dead. Like Chanyeol’s hopes and dreams to be a healer. He can’t even save himself. Who was he kidding.

“Yeah, and you were almost a full course meal, if it wasn’t for me.”

He’s a rover. It’s obvious. Bandits of the lands with no real home and stealing to get by. Chanyeol feels he might have had better chances against the troll. It’s a good thing he doesn’t really have anything worthy in his possessions. Well he does have magical elf stones his father left him but they probably didn’t do shit. Chanyeol’s wondering if he should offer his soiled pants as a token of appreciation when he’s approached.

He finally gets a good look at the fella.

Oh, he’s attractive. It had been kind of hard to do full body check outs when a breath away from death but this close, hovering over him in the broad daylight Chanyeol can see that this guy has a distractingly pretty face. His hair was a dark red, burgundy, a deep wine. Side swept bangs over dark kohl rimmed eyes. He had rather pink lips that were thin but pouty at the same time. The most noticeable thing about him was his outfit. Bad ass looking jacket, check. Tight form fitting pants that only drew more attention to his hips, and thighs and probably his ass too but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. He had straps around both thighs with weapons tucked in it. He had black cut out gloves on. Chanyeol was staring.

“I’ll let you get on your knees and worship me later, but we should probably head out of here before the wolves pick up the scent.” He kicks lazily at the dead troll’s head, causing the blood to ooze. Chanyeol instantly feels sick at the sight of it but the rover doesn’t seem to care, crouching and robbing the troll of it’s weapons. Did trolls even carry around gold?

“What are you waiting for?”

Chanyeol snaps out of it getting to his feet. He towers over his new companion, if he can even call him that.

“T-thanks,” Chanyeol finally gets around to saying. “Your name is?”

For a second he doesn’t look like he is going to tell him but then, “Baekhyun. And if you think I’m getting all touched you don’t want to refer to me as low thieving rover in your mind, you can shove it.”

“No! I wasn’t thinking that. I don’t judge. My name is Chanyeol by the way.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun couldn’t sound more uninterested as he hops onto his horse, and looks down at Chanyeol. “Are you coming or what?”

“Oh!” Chanyeol scrambles on the white stallion. His groin is against Baekhyun’s ass. He could feel his ears heat up in embarrassment yet again.

“Well don’t be shy.” Baekhyun’s tone is a sweet but he’s clearly teasing and being sarcastic. “Hold on. I’m not coming back for you if you fall off.”

Chanyeol doesn’t want to admit he squeaks in reply but he does because Baekhyun pulls the reigns without even waiting for Chanyeol to secure himself. Naturally, he flails and ends up grabbing the first place within arms reach which happens to be Baekhyun’s waist.

“Someone is making themselves at home,” Baekhyun comments drily because Chanyeol is holding onto him for dear life. He wasn’t sure who was a maniac, Baekhyun or the horse. They were going so fast, wildly through the forest that trees were becoming blurs of green.

“I’m sorry!” Chanyeol’s voice is drowned out by the wind. Talk about horse power. “You’re going pretty fast.”

“I can say the same thing about you,” Baekhyun’s probably referring to the way Chanyeol’s basically pressed up against him in a backhug, a bit intimate for two people who just met ten minutes ago.

“Sorry Baekhyun but I – wah – “ the horse literally gallops three feet in the air – Chanyeol’s life flashes before his eyes. “If I don’t hold on like this, I’ll fall off – “

“I know. I’m messing with you. Don’t hurt yourself.” Baekhyun abruptly pulls on the reigns. Chanyeol nearly catapults off at the sudden halt.

They’ve arrived at some sort of small lake with a peaceful waterful between large rocks. It looks pleasant and serene. Safe. Chanyeol’s looking around, taking in his surroundings when Baekhyun interrupts the silence.

“Light is thirsty.”

“Light?”

“Yes, Light.” Baekhyun leans forward to half pets half cuddle his horse’s mane, “Who do you think you’ve been riding this whole time?”

Oh right Light. Because Chanyeol is a horse whisperer and gets visions their birth certificate during their first rodeo.

“We should get him some water then.”

“Now you’ve got some good ideas.” Baekhyun praises with that same sarcastic teasing tone that was borderline flirtacious. “Did you wanna take a dip?”

Chanyeol’s not really accustomed to going skinny dipping with strangers no matter how attractive and questionably friendly they were.

“I took a bath yesterday.” Chanyeol says awkwardly. It sounded less gross in his mind.

“You also fell in a bunch of troll shit when I saved you earlier.”

“WHAT!”

“I’m just kidding.” Baekhyun laughs, finally done cuddling Light, and hopping off. His firm but round ass jiggles in his tight pants. Chanyeol gulps. Were all rovers this hot?

“Ha ha.” He mutters, jumping off the horse as well. Baekhyun walks it to the water, and it drinks instantly.

Chanyeol’s so busy watching Light practically inhale the water that he doesn’t notice Baekhyun is staring at him. When he does, he makes eye contact, but can’t hold it, and makes a constipated nervous face as he focus on a random tree branch in the background.

“So did you want to tell me what you were doing wandering around troll territory?”

Chanyeol’s eyes widen. “that was troll territory?”

“Yes Chanyeol.” He patronizes. “And you were wandering in it… “ his eyes scan chanyeol’s body, stopping at his waist area. Chanyeol fidgets. “without a weapon I’m guessing.”

“Well I’ve never really had much experience with a sword.” Chanyeol admits sheepishly. Its true. He grew up in a small village. There weren’t really many reasons to go around and practice stabbing things.

“Oh so did you want to die or something?”

“What, no.” Chanyeol pouts.

“I’m just curious what a innocent little country boy like you is doing out by himself… totally defenseless.”

“Now that you mention it, I am on a journey to Stockholm. That’s where they specialize in healing. I’m an aspiring healer… after my mom d – nevermind.” Chanyeol feels the hurt all over again. Baekhyun’s expression doesn’t change.

“What happened to your mom?”

“She passed away. I … couldn’t save her.” Chanyeol stops, on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Baekhyun frowns, playful demeanor gone for once. “I guess now would be a bad time to tell you I need you to give me all your valuables or else I’ll kill you…?”

Chanyeol thinks he’s hearing things, he hopes he’s hearing things but then Baekhyun pulls out a small knife.

“it’s nothing personal. My boss just wont be happy if I come back with no loot. No loot means no good. And if youre no good then should you even be alive? You understand right?” Baekhyun steps closer to chanyeol whos frozen in place. “no hard feelings.”

“Baekhyun I, I have nothing valuable. You can search me. I have like two coins of gold.” Chanyeol strangely doesn’t feel as scared as he was when the random troll attacked him earlier. Its probably because Baekhyun wasn’t really looking at him like he wanted to murder him.  no there was something else in his eyes.

“That’s sad. I almost want to let you keep it.” Baekhyun says sincerely as he reaches into chanyeol’s pocket and takes the coins. “Is that really all you have to offer me?” Baekhyun purses his lips, like this was a casual exchange.

“Yeah. I… “

Baekhyun notices the necklace from beneath chanyeol’s shirt.

“What’s that?” He gestures with the knife.

“It’s from my mom.” Chanyeol whispers, and feels like he might actually cry now because that was special with sentimental value.

“Oh.” Baekhyun says. Then sighs. “youre not making this easy for me you know.”

“I’m sorry –  “

“no seriously. Youre so pathetic. Who apologizes while theyre getting mugged? And two coins. God, I’m basically going to eat crumbs tonight with this kind of loot.” Baekhyun sounds stressed now. “Not even worth it.” He sighs. “I’m not even going to try to report in tonight. Come on.”

“W-what?”

Baekhyun waves a hand at him and tugs at his horse. They walk a couple minutes before they reach a little hut, like a treehouse of sorts.

“Whoa.” Chanyeol comments. It looked unstable but quaint and quite nice. “You live here?”

“You don’t get to ask me questions chanyeol.” Baekhyun says flippantly. He ties light next to a nearby tree and gestures to the rickety wooden stairs leading into the make shift house. “Ladies first.” He coos sweetly while bowing with his knife.

Chanyeol pouts at the jab, but heads up.

Theres only one window, and with the sun going down, pretty dim in the homely room. Its wooden and nicely furnished. Blablablabla.

“this is nice.” Chanyeol comments slowly, wondering why Baekhyun even brought him here.

“well youre nice so.” Baekhyun points to the couch. “sit. Ill make you a drink.”

He stirs something as chanyeol takes a seat on the sofa.

“are you still trying to rob me? Because I realized yeah I don’t have much. I can help you make some money from the next village so you can have more to show for to your boss -- “ chanyeol rambles.

“we’ve talked enough don’t you think?” Baekhyun interrupts turning around with two drinks in hand. “we can worry about all that tomorrow. I want to spend tonight with you.”

Chanyeol’s ears do it again. Baekhyun smiles at him as he sits on the small chair adjacent to the couch. He passes chanyeol the drink. He takes off his jacket leaving him in a sleeveless shirt, exposing more of his smooth pale skin and a teasing glimpse of his collarbones, his shirt was pretty lowcut now that the jacket wasn’t in the way. The sunset bathes the room in a seductive glow. Baekhyun looks even sexier in this lighting.

“I’m glad you changed your mind. but really, I don’t mind helping you. I mean I do owe you my life.” Chanyeol goes back to rambling becauase he was really fucking nervous. Could it be, was Baekhyun making moves on him?! no way.

“uhhuh.” Baekhyun nods, and passes chanyeol the drink. it’s a red liquid that looks like wine. “should we make a toast to that?”

“oh sure!” chanyeol raises his glass and clinks it against Baekhyuns. “to you.”

“no,” baekhyun smiles and hes actually really fucking beautiful. “to us.”

Chanyeol feels a warm feeling, butterflies in his stomach, when he hears those sentiments and he drinks to that. Baekhyun watches him.

“you know, its really such a shame. You’re pretty cute. And tall. Totally my type. If you ignore the half elf bit. But then again ive never been with an elf before…” Baekhyun is giving chanyeol bedroom eyes and chanyeol laughs nervously as he sips his drink some more. It tasted pretty good, sweet. it was making him a little dizzy and whew did he have a long day or what beacause he aws suddenly having a difficult time opening his mouth to even form a sentence. What did Baekhyun just say? He was his type?

Baekhyun suddenly sitting beside him, drink nowhere in sight. Hes gazing at chanyeol intensely. “if there circumstances were different, id totally take this further.” Baekhyun sounds torn, and chanyeol is just about to cheerfully ask what on earth it is he is talking about, but then baekhyun’s lips are on his and he’s being kissed. Holy crap. He is in so much shock that he doesn’t even close his eyes. Baekhyun presses his mouth firmly against chanyeol’s once, twice, then he’s pulling away but still close enough to see the freckles on his face. “I am really sorry about your mother chanyeol. And your father. But you have the elfstones. And I need them.” He grabs the drink from chanyeol’s hand as chanyeol’s world spins. “also – im really sorry about the headache youre going to have tomorrow.”

Everything goes dark.

-- \fcs0 \>�_\�