#and its just...gahhh
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How trying to find a face claim for Celola Frollo be like right now:
#context: shes my granddaughter of frollo in descendants wolf in sheeps clothing#and shes romani due to her dad#and she has his skin tone and is the youngest of the four VKs#and yet for some fucking reason its impossible to find a fc near her age#the others? easy#but celola? impossible#and its just...gahhh#my friends helping me and i feel like such an annoyance as its going to bug me no matter what#the only one found has no age anywhere and the only photos im pretty sure are pre-2020s#so she may not even be in celola's age range and its just#gahhh
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chewy like a easter egg grass
#if u havent eaten the that easter egg grass then like y not#i want some so bad it tastes so good#im mean its just sugar & food dye + smth smth#BUT GAHHH I WANT IT#like cotton candy but string kinda?#anyways#im gonna eat this lil girlie WHOLE JUST NOM#ill prolly make this like a charm 4 myself#hang him on my phone so i can jingle them like car keys#kon el#superboy#kon el kent#dc#puppee art#what is all this yapping
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cellbit deciding not to tell richas they threatened his life and having to pretend everything was okay before the blue bird mission is up there as one of the rawest qcellbit moments tbh
#bell.txt#bell.mp4#qsmp#cellbit#richarlyson#blue bird mission#july 7 2023#es cine#the way he has to try to perk himself up to move onto looking for sea lanterns... gahhh#also idk if ricardao knew or not but either way. impeccable#cellbit looks absolutely gutted its so#hes just so good at rp sighs dreamily#.mp4
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the symbolism of revolutionary girl utena is key to understanding what it’s even trying to say narratively and thematically. if you remove the symbolism, if you remove the ways in which the narrative obfuscates itself and abstracts what it’s saying, then what it is saying changes dramatically. if rgu was like ‘yeah lol and did you guys know that incest is bad’ or ‘maybe gay people are good’ or ‘hey did you know that csa victims are Real and Alive and Have Interiority’— like those are all paraphrases of things that it says, but the way that it chooses to say them is so powerful and conveys so much nuance and complexity that those simplistic statements don’t. it provides an incredibly meaningful commentary on the way that systemic violence and abuse are covered up, codified, made part of our culture that supposedly resents those things. it’s examination of incest, the incest taboo and how that impacts incest victims— it’s all so incredibly considered and layered because the show chooses to convey what it’s saying through symbolism, through its metatheatrical framing, through allegory. it retains the reality of these issues; it shows them to us only when we’ve already bought into the system’s lies to make a point about how that operates, how that works to make us all complicit in that violence. nanami. nanami.
dont even get me started on how the movie uses its symbolism to demonstrate how the abuse anthy and touga experienced is simultaneously built into the world and culture they exist in, and always obfuscated and abstracted for the sake of their abusers (also specifically the way that it engenders shame and prevents people from seeking help. rgu is so damn good at understanding how and why people don’t ‘do what they should’ in abusive situations: the systems in place don’t fucking work bc they are an extension of the system built upon that abuse). anthy is the model in all the paintings, the symbol of so many undesirable things, the canvas on which they are painted. her likeness is used as an approximation for all of these awful things, many of which are a part of her in a way, but such that her interiority, her feelings, are never regarded, never seen, never understood. she’s the model. akio is never explicitly named as her painter.
#messy post once again just dumping thoughts#obfuscation abventures#< literally my thesis on the show. it would be peanuts to me without its layers of visual complexity its symbolism and allegory#its bonkers filmmaking. i mean my god editing rgu amvs gives you a greater appreciation for how they edited that show and MAN#the transfeminism hole video essay haunts me always. aou is anthy’s body!!!!!!!!!! the use of the static….#the way that rgu uses looping and repeating shots and abrupt cuts (same w music) the pace it continually disrupts with its editing#its sooooo….. gahhh. ep 33. head in hands#rgu i love you rgu im sorry people would suggest you’d be better if you were more normal and conventional#this is why utena is a freaks only show. you have to go apeshit about the implications of shadow girl relationships to get it#didn’t even mention c-ko on this post like that SAYS something#dais.txt
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me when time moves forward at a steady pace: how the fuck is it more than halfway through july already. this fuckers rapidly sprinting when im not looking huh
#i have so many things i need to do#before the semester starts again this fall#i need to work on comms. i need to work on a project due the end of the month. i want to do artfight. i want to make art for myself. i want#to do art studies. i want to start an alt drawing more suggestive stuff. i mean what who said that mustve been the wind#and thats just the things related to drawing.#i need to organize my room. i need to learn [redacted]. i want to cook more. i want to socialize more. i want to play games. i want to-#watch and read and listen to so many things#yet i have a finite amount of time to do everything#and half of a day is consumed by me just snoozing#and when i do work on something i feel like im Not Efficient Enough.#i cant just chill in vcs i need to be productive and draw too. and if i dont make significant progress then I Have Failed.#i cant just watch New Season of Show. thats Time Focused on One Singular Activity. gotta do multiple things at once or ill feel bad after#because i know that once the semester starts back up then im gonna be 90% less online#back to the depths of graphic design hell making infographics and powerpoints and brand identities#not having the time to draw anything furry or for myself for several months#anywho its 5am#i should go to sleep#sorry for the ramble im just. only now realizing how little time i have#when i wake up i have to really lock in on drawing and stuff#ive wasted so much time playing a game this past week#if i hadnt played it idve made so much more progress by now and im kicking myself so bad mentally now that im like mostly done w the game#gahhh#anywho yeah sorry for the ramble ill post more soon#sho.scramblin
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cloaked in violence
#omg GAHHH its so blurry for me… just click on it pleease#mad I had to crop it but It looks alright i thank… began in december last year I cant look at it anymor so any mistakes are intentional#maybe I’ll colour it + fix some things but who knows#hope you like it and also the worm#metal gear solid#mgs#quiet#my art
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i'm noticing that when people request things and i write it for them, sometimes the people i write for dont reblog or give me any feedback. ^^ its starting to get a bit irritating when i take the time to write something and i just get a like from the person. the twst fandom has been talking about this since forever but literally the least you can do is reblog. seriously.
#im thinking about not taking requests ever anymore honestly#like i have ideas floating around in my brain#why should i write something for someone else when they dont even appreciate it#i wanted to finish the 1.8k event but i dont even think i'll be able to do that#its a shame the twst community turned out this way#and even just writing in general gahhh#like i love writing but its becoming such a chore#anyways my mutuals can request stuff but im getting fed up#its also been hurting my feelings a bit.#i actually had this happen DURING the 1.8k event too#i wrote stuff for moots and couldnt wait to see their reactions and then they just liked#it felt like a slap in the face#idk man i just want to enjoy things again that would be nice#ikepri and ikevamp fandom here i come i hope ygys are more receptive!!#🐙! auburn's rambles <3
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utena and i saw the tv glow utena and i saw the tv glow utena and i saw the tv glow "escape with me and stop repressing yourself" and anthy and isabel being entirely self aware of their predicaments and not moving from their positions but rather being complacent, worn out by their surroundings and the fake realities twisting around everyone's truth and identities and the memories that were lost from other timelines/realities and the fact that theyre kids and the "end of the world" being the guy who wants to keep everyone trapped in ohtori just like mr. melancholy and desperately, desperately needing escape andand andnd andndgbgngnnd
you know what if utenanthy could escape then isabel WILL bury herself one day trust (delusion)
#rgu#isttvg#im deranged#scheduled bc its 2am#i need to rewatch utena#im going to rewatch utena#right now#bc sleep schedules are for the weak ofc#gaHHH i need to draw an au#guys do you think isabel would have had the strength to leave if she had a little guy. like chuchu. bc ngl thats the biggest difference#(slash jay. slash haich jay)#tara and isabel in ohtori academy:#tara: ISABEL LETS REVOLUTIONIZE THE WORLD#owensabel: iiiii ahhh emm hmm...#chuchu: *monkey noise*#isabel: word youre right lets do thisss#i just realized that 90% of the english thing im procrastinating on just talks about making connections in different places too#why do you haunt me
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Majestic rep theatre’s production of Ride the Cyclone my beloved <333
I think it’s officially my favorite production of rtc. I just love the way they portray the characters so much 😭
#Like the little background moments of the character just having silly interactions with each other#Like when Ricky and Jane started dancing after the new birthday song#GAHHH THEYRE SO CUTEEE#Especially during its not a game/it’s just a ride#Had me in my feels 😔#Ride the cyclone#rtc#majestic repertory theatre#majestic rep theatre
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@divingdownthehole
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as barton was left to his own devices in the kitchen, it only then just occurred to him how the seven-fold bistro had a tv in the side of their lobby. and that could potentially be very bad if they weren't talking about the latest humdrum gossip in relation to bruce wayne or something — so, he would have to find a way to not appear suspicious and also, turn it off if they were talking about the death of the two guards already. barton sighed to himself as he pushed a chunk of the chicken on his plate to the side. he really had his work cut out for him here, didn't he?
of course, there might be a chance that jervis could handle it, he thought. but the last time he had handled something, he'd done it by sticking pins into someone. barton suddenly found himself standing up as if he was startled by the very thought of something like that happening to ravi. he had to create some sort of plan, for he couldn't just bust out of those doors, even if nothing was going on on that television. he tapped on the cold steel of the table below him with his sharpened nails as he contemplated what to do. maybe he could just stick by the almost saloon style doors of them for a bit and listen in on what exactly was going on out there.
just as ravi and jervis had made it to the front of the restaurant, his feet were carrying him to push his entire body flush against the doors, but with not enough pressure to actually open them. he thought he could hear jervis's voice now, but it was very distorted by the wall between him and the rest of the bistro. so he would have to get closer to the outside if he actually wanted to hear anything. while barton was now stressing, ravi honestly couldn't have looked more relaxed, as any friend of barton's was a friend of his. ( except they weren't really friends at all... but i digress. ) he smiled slightly whenever he heard him mention the soup out of approval, ❝ ooh... good choice. i love our mulligatawny soup, but it usually has rice in it, rather than on the side. but i could always request that our chefs put it there instead if you want. ❞
he shrugged nonchalantly and nodded, knowing that the kitchen would be more than willing to do something like that for jervis. ravi could feel his ears perk up and barton's ears did the same exact thing as a breaking news alert popped up on the tv. alright, well, he was not going to be waiting inside the kitchen any longer for something to happen — that was for sure — and so he opened up one of the doors in such a way that it wouldn't attract much attention. barton seemed to materialize out of quite literally nowhere, at least from ravi's point of view, before he was grabbing him by the opposite shoulder a little aggressively but not too much.
barton had played this off as him trying to playfully scare the other but what he was really aiming to do was turn the tv off. and that's exactly what he managed to do with the remote below the counter while ravi was too busy with being shocked, but then laughing in response to barton's 'cheeky' behavior as he spoke to him in between laughs and pushed him away from him, before punching his arm. ❝ oh, my god. you scared me! you jerk, why did you do that? don't tell me that this is you still being bitter that i beat you last time we sparred or something. ❞ ravi was still laughing, so he obviously didn't mean anything that he said in a malicious way as barton himself tried to catch onto the other's wrist before he punched him, but failed.
barton chuckled a few times before nursing the spot where ravi punched him with his arm. he made himself look guilty, only after winking at jervis whenever the other party wasn't looking, as if to say ' you're welcome ' and said, ❝ ahh, you caught me. but scaring you totally satisfied my need for revenge after you beat me. so, at least there's kind of a positive side to all of this. and just to keep you in the loop, jervis, me and ravi sometimes spar together because we're both boxers, ❞ barton gestured to the other man with one hand while ravi came down from his laughter. he made a playful ' shoo ' gesture towards barton, then. ❝ hey. me and your friend, who is also my friend now, by the way, were having a rather rousing conversation about his interest in the mulligatawny soup before you came along. so if you wouldn't mind... ❞
ravi left barton to fill in the lines of what else he was going to say before the blonde raised his hands in feigned surrender and sat down across a few seats away from them behind the counter. ravi laughed, making a ' come hither ' gesture towards himself, ❝ i was just joking, barton. you don't have to sit so far away. but anyway, i'll put in your order for the soup, if there are no objections? ❞ barton moved silently closer to ravi in particular, setting down his curry in front of him. he seemed oddly a bit protective of ravi based on the look he gave jervis.
it was one that said ' you better continue being nice to him or i'll kill you. ' and trust me, barton would do it, too.
#divingdownthehole#tw: mentions of murder.#tw: slight manipulation.#AWW of course emi! you totally deserve it as i always say haha <33 and plsss you are much too sweet to me#TYSM for the compliment!! you are now one of my ELITE employees okok#and it'll do more than suffice! its perfect TBH (: but its all good. i didnt think that there were any pacing issues personally??#but sameee tbh. also why is barton wanting jervis to be nice to ravi but threatening him by doing so both messed up-#and oddly kind of wholesome to me like JSJSJ i guess because the man is typically anything BUT wholesome??? albeit in his own...#barton-like way. like GAHHH. the layersss loll also i just wanted to say that i replied to this on a separate chain because i noticed that-#our thread was getting quite lengthy and i just wanted to make it easier for us to reply to each other's reblogs SO i installed a browser-#extension to trim reblogs but for some reason it doesn't work with asks? so i have to start a whole new chain to do it but yeahhh.#i'm sorry if this makes it inconvenient for you to reply in any way but i didn't want our other thread to be broken so this was the better-#alternative to that jsjsj
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my best friend got me into Omori and I can't stop thinking about it
#he's been helping me play it the past two days#i can't stop#i keep just thinking about it#my time#its so good#SOMEONE HELP#were abt to match as kel and sunny#GAHHH#omori#suntan#best friend#omori suntan#my post
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I dont think my therapist realises how special my special interest is
#'no i dont think youre autistic' i woke up feeling anxious in the middle of the night after already going to sleep at 9pm to prepare for#the eichi story#i dont think ive felt as excited for something maybe since the checkmate anime#thats scary! i love my spinterest even when im hyperfixated on other things but it really is all consuming when it gets to be#the focus of my attention#i do like that. i like that im able to be moved and react strongly to it again#i was scared when i was apathetic and unable to feel anything but sadness this summer#but my god let me sleep!!!#its for You im sleeping anyway. gahhh#you probably also have to thank my irl ive been talking to a lot about es and yesterday eichi in particular#but i made sure to not do anything particularly exciting before bed just so i could sleep well...
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Gabimaru flower hair appreciation
Bonus little guys:
#yes he's slowly dying but his design is pretty :>#the flowers in his hair with flames... gahhh i can't wait to see what that will look like animated#its a shame we never got lil chibi flower chobe's like we did for gabimaru#hell's paradise#hell's paradise spoilers#hell's paradise manga spoilers#jigokuraku#jigokuraku spoilers#jigokuraku manga spoilers#gabimaru#gabimaru the hollow#spoilers#mettys posts#metty posts#tw body horror#not entirely sure if one of the flowers is coming from his eye#so i'll tag just in case
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i love yaoi jokes as much as the next guy theyre genuinely funny a lot of the time but yaoi isnt just a punchline dammit its a real and valuable form of queer art!!!! yaoi deserves to exist unironically fucka you. it doesnt exist just for haha funny and then stomp on ground like its Problematique. its just a word to describe a genre of stories abt gay men
#wishy speaks#general You here btw#it baffles me that people GENUINELY think yaoi is problematic#like it's literally just gay anime boys. it can be as genuine as any other art form and often Is#people really think being a fujo or fudanshi is a terrible thing? huh?#the older i get the more i realize its all repackaged queerphobia in one form or another#mixed with anti japanese rhetoric as a treat#gahhh sorry for srsposting ill go to bed in a sec lmao#i wanted to just make a joke but grrr thinking too hard and deep for joke#not that coherent bc sleepy but you get what i mean
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ohh yeah! i definitely am not shipping ted/trent “just because,” i ship them because it feels very compelling to me and i got the brainworms for them before season 3
in s1 and 2 alone, just the implications of trent being known for obliterating ppl on paper and rebecca essentially letting him loose on ted for that reason… all for trent to suddenly write the nicest article in probably,, ever?? her frustration reaction in her call with higgins is definitely underrated
AND THEN. ted’s relationship with the press room and how trent easily gets acclimated to his ways and he still doesn’t hold back the hard questions but he doesn’t do it to hurt him anymore, he enjoys the little nicknames ted gives him and even does. the fuckin. pompoms *\o/*
trent was lichhhrally the first person in richmond to fall for the lasso effect, and on paper you’d think he’d be the last!
and that’s not even getting me started on trent’s massive life change in s2 which was only fueled by ted, but i could honestly go all day and maybe i shouldn’t lol
anyway, i’m normal about them :)
EXACTLYYY EXACTLY EXACTLY!!!!!!! Trent Crimm, a journalist known for being brutal when it comes to writing articles, was baffled and turned upside down just because Ted is just a nice and honest man to him and it makes me giggle and kick my feet sooo much...
i think about that scene in 1x03 alot with the, "It ain't always easy, Trent, but neither is growing up without someone believing in you." i know so much that, that line struck with Trent heavily because of his own issues with his relationship with work, with his own father wanting him to be more stern and an actual football player, etc. and he immediately realized that oh god. this is an honest man that i don't want to ruin because he can change or break everything around richmond just because of how weirdly optimistic he is, and then proceeds to run outta that restaurant to contemplate his whole life LMAO
#LIKE ITS JUST!!! AAAHH!!! theres so much characters in the show that you could see get sooo swayed by the Lasso Way and its even more#tasty when it comes from characters that are made to be Stern. Take No Bullshit. I am a Brick Wall that CANNOT be torn down. like roy and#trent and its just SOOOO <3333 GAHHH#just that whole ''this is why it's hard to love you'' scene also makes me laugh SOSOSO MUCH#pn.ask#1x03 is on my mind again because. i rewatched s1 and GODDD EVERYONES DYNAMICS IN THE FIRST SEASON IS SOO GOOD everyones so bitchy i love it#<- literally the episode that made me go. oh? oh??? *HOMOSEXUAL BEAM*
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if i wasnt for my mutuals i think all of my events would have flopped
#auburn's rambles <3#gahhh its so dumb but like#events are my way of trying to connect w the twst fandom#and i have been so desperate for any sense of community here lately#i feel like im just screaming into the void#and i dont know why it feels like nobody new bothers talking to me anymore#i think its because people are scared of me but i wish they werent#ive tried my best to seem approachable and i tell people over and over that they can talk to me#but nobody does#ever since 1.8k really#its just been my mutuals talking to me and nobody else#and i love my mutuals but i want to have what i had when i first got here#i dont know if this is a twst Fandom problem or if its just me but#its like theres nobody here anymore and its not the same#im so tired of people being intimidated by me#im literally just like you i am just like ALL of you#its exhausting honestly.
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