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onelastkiss4you · 3 months ago

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Dragon Age: The Veilguard Just Went From A Good RPG To One Of BioWare’s Most Important Games

In light of BioWare scattering some of its most foundational veteran talent to the winds, Dragon Age: The Veilguard sure reads like something made by people who saw the writing on the wall. The RPG leaves off on a small cliffhanger that could launch players into a fifth game, but I’m skeptical that we’ll ever get it. The quickness with which publisher Electronic Arts gutted BioWare and masked it with talk of being more “agile” and “focused” shortly after it was revealed The Veilguard underperformed in the eyes of the power that be makes me wonder if BioWare was also unsure it would get to return to Thedas a fifth time. Looking back, I’m pretty convinced the team was working as if Rook’s adventure through the northern regions of this beloved fantasy world might be the last time anyone, BioWare or fan, stepped foot in it. But that may have only made me appreciate the game even more.

Yeah, I might be doomsaying, but there’s a lot of reasons to do so right now. The loss of talented people like lead writer Trick Weekes, who has been a staple in modern BioWare since the beginning of Mass Effect, or Mary Kirby who wrote characters like Varric, the biggest throughline through the Dragon Age series, doesn’t inspire confidence that EA understands the lifeblood of the studio it acquired in 2007. The Veilguard has been a divisive game for entirely legitimate reasons and the most bad-faith ones you can imagine on the internet in 2025, but my hope is that history will be kinder to it as time goes on.

A Kotaku reader reached out to me after the news broke to ask if they should still play The Veilguard after everything that happened. My answer was that now we are probably in a better position to appreciate it for what it was: a (potentially) final word.

The Veilguard is just as much a send-off for a long-running story as it does a stepping stone for what (might) come. Its secret ending implies a new threat is lurking somewhere off in the distance but by and large, The Veilguard is about the end of an era. BioWare created an entire questline essentially writing Thedas’ history in stone, removing any ambiguity that gave life to over a decade of theory-crafting. As a long-time player, I’m glad The Veilguard solidifies the connective tissue between what sometimes felt like world of isolated cultures that lacked throughlines that made the world feel whole. But sitting your cast of weirdos down for a series of group therapy sessions unpacking the ramifications of some of the biggest lore dumps the studio has ever put to a Bluray disc isn’t the kind of narrative choice you make if you’re confident there’s still a future for the franchise.

Unanswered questions are the foundation of sequels, and The Veilguard has an almost anxious need to stamp those out. Perhaps BioWare learned a hard lesson by leaving Dragon Age: Inquisition on a cliffhanger and didn’t want to repeat the same restriction. But The Veilguard doesn’t just wrap up its own story, it concludes several major threads dating back to Origins and feels calculated and deliberate. If BioWare’s goal with The Veilguard was to bring almost everything to a definitive end, the thematic note it leaves this world on acts as a closing graf summing up a thesis the series hopes to convey.

Pushing away the bigotry that has followed The Veilguard like a starving rat digging through trash, one of the most common criticisms I heard directed against the game was that it lacked a certain thorny disposition that was prevalent in the first three games. Everyone in the titular party generally seems to like each other, there aren’t real ethical and philosophical conflicts between the group, and the spats that do arise are more akin to the arguments you probably get into with your best friends. It’s a new dynamic for the series. The Veilguard doesn’t feel like coworkers as The Inquisition did or the disparate group who barely tolerated each other we followed in Dragon Age II. They are a friend group who, despite coming from different backgrounds, factions, and places, are pretty much on the same page about what the world should be. They’re united by a common goal, sure, but at the core of each of their lived experiences is a desire for the world to be better.

This rose-colored view of leftism doesn’t work for everyone. At its worst, The Veilguard can be saccharine to the point of giving you a cavity, which is far from what people have come to expect from a series in which Fenris and Anders didn’t care if the other lived or died. It also bleeds into a perceived softening of the universe. Factions like the Antivan Crows have essentially become the Bat Family with no mention of the whole child slavery thing that was our first introduction to them back in Origins. The Lords of Fortune, a new pirate faction, goes to great lengths to make sure you know that they’re not like the other pirates who steal from other cultures, among other things. I joked to a friend once that The Veilguard is a game terrified of getting canceled, and as such a lot of the grit and grime has been washed off for something shiny and polished.

That is the more critical lens to view the way The Veilguard’s sanitation of Thedas. To an extent, I agree. We learned so much about how the enigmatic country of the Tevinter Imperium was a place built upon slavery and blood sacrifice, only for us to conveniently hang out in the common poverty-stricken areas that are affected by the corrupt politics we only hear about in sidequests and codex entries. But decisions like setting The Veilguard’s Tevinter stories in the slums of Dogtown gives the game and its writers a place to make a more definitive statement, rather than existing in the often frustrating centrism Dragon Age loved to tout for three games.

I have a lot of pain points I can shout out in the Dragon Age series, but I don’t think one has stuck in my craw the way the end of Anders rivalry relationship goes down in Dragon Age II. This is a tortured radical mage who is willing to give his life to fight for the freedom of those who have been born into a corrupt system led by the policing Templars. And yet, if you’ve followed his rivalry path, Anders will turn against the mages he, not five minutes ago, did some light terrorism trying to free. In Inquisition, this conflict of ideals and traditions comes to a head, but you’re able to essentially wipe it all under the rug as you absorb one faction or the other into your forces. So often Dragon Age treats its conflicts and worldviews as toys for the player to slam against one another, shaping the world as they see fit, and bending even the most fiercely devoted radical to your whims. And yes, there are some notable exceptions to this rule, but when it came to world-shifting moments of change, Dragon Age always seemed scared to assert that the player might be wrong. Mages and Templars, oppressed and oppressors, were the same in the eyes of the game, each worthy of the same level of scrutiny.

Before The Veilguard, I often felt Dragon Age didn’t actually believe in anything. Its characters did, but as a text, Dragon Age often felt so preoccupied with empowering the player’s decisions that it felt like Thedas would never actually get better, no matter how much you fought for it. While it may lack the same prickly dynamics and the grey morality that became synonymous with the series, The Veilguard’s doesn’t just believe that the world is full of greys and let you pick which shade you’re more comfortable with. It’s the most wholeheartedly the Dragon Age universe has declared that the world of Thedas can be better than it was before.

Essentially retconning the Antivan Crows to a family of superheroes is taking a hammer to the problem, whereas characters like Neve Gallus, a mage private eye with a duty-bound love for her city and its people, are the scalpel with which BioWare shifts its vision of how the world of Thedas can change. Taash explores their identity through the lens of Dragon Age’s longstanding Qunari culture, known for its rigidness in the face of an ever-changing world, and comes out the other end a new person, defined entirely by their own views and defying others. Harding finds out the truth behind how the dwarves were severed from magic and still remembers that she believes in the good in people. The heroes of The Veilguard have seen the corruption win out, and yet never stop believing that something greater is possible. It's not even an option in The Veilguard's eyes. The downtrodden will be protected, the oppressed will live proudly, and those who have been wronged will find new life.

That belief is what makes The Veilguard a frustrating RPG, to some. It’s so unyielding in its belief that Thedas and everyone who inhabits it can be better that it doesn’t really entertain you complicating the narrative. Rook can come from plenty of different backgrounds, make decisions that will affect thousands of people, but they can never really be an evil bastard. If they did, it would fundamentally undermine one of the game’s most pivotal moments. In the eleventh hour, Dragon Age mainstay Varric Tethras is revealed to have died in the opening hour, and essentially leaves all his hopes and dreams on the shoulders of Rook. After our hero is banished to the Fade and forced to confront their regrets in a mission gone south, Varric’s spirit sends Rook on their way to save the day one last time. He does so with a hearty chuckle, saying he doesn’t need to wish you good luck because “you already have everything you need.” He is, of course, referring to the friends you have calling to you from beyond the Fade.

Varric, the narrator of Dragon Age, uses his final word to declare a belief that things will be okay. This isn’t because Rook is the chosen one destined to save the world, but because they have found people who are unified by one thing: a need to fight for a better world. But that’s what makes it compelling as a possibly final Dragon Age game. Reaching the end of a universe’s arc and being wholly uninterested in leaving it desecrated by hubris or prejudice is a bold claim on BioWare’s part. It takes some authorship away from the player, but in return, it leaves the world of Thedas in a better place than we found it.

The Veilguard is an idealistic game, but it’s one that BioWare has earned the right to make. Dragon Age’s legacy has been one of constantly shifting identity, at least two counts of development hell, and a desire to gives players a sandbox to roleplay in. Perhaps, as Dragon Age likely comes to a close, it’s better to leave Dragon Age with a game as optimistic as the people who made it. I can’t think of a more appropriate finale than one that represents the world its creators hope to see, even as the world we live in now gives us every reason to fall to despair.

In my review for The Veilguard I signed off expressing hope for BioWare’s future that feels a bit naive in retrospect. Would a divisive but undeniably polished RPG that felt true to the studio’s history be enough when, after 10 years of development, rich suits were probably looking for a decisive cultural moment? That optimism was just about a video game. Having lived through the past 32 years, most of the optimism I’ve ever held feels naive to look back on. I think I’m losing hope that the world will get any better. But even if we haven’t reached The Veilguard’s idealized vision, I’ll take some comfort in knowing someone previously at BioWare still believes it’s possible. - ken shepard, shepardcdr.bsky.social

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saintsanddevils · 2 months ago

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Unravel Me

Liam Mairi x Fem!Reader

Summary: Grief is your constant companion as you struggle to come to terms with losing Liam. You can’t handle the memories, so you ask Imogen to take them away.

Warnings: ‼️18+ (MDNI) explicit content‼️, smut, grief, death, blood, some violence, angst, ALL HURT/no comfort, first person reader pov

Author’s Note: This is probably my fav story I’ve written so far! Liam is my favorite of all of the Fourth Wing men & I’ve been dying to write this for so long. - also, every person who has checked in on me about burnout, thank you, you’re incredibly kind & I appreciate all the love!!

Word Count: 8.6K

AO3 link

Masterlist

• • • •

The stone archway is the only thing keeping me from collapsing to the ground. I lay my back against it, trying to keep myself standing. Breaths saw through my lungs in jagged, sharp inhales. A knife cutting through me from the inside out.

Storm clouds form in the sky above, ominous in the setting sun. The smell of wet stone and soil fills the air as I try to still my racing heart.

It’s been one month.

One month.

Four weeks.

Thirty days.

Seven hundred and twenty-two hours and counting since Liam has been gone.

Knees shaking, I close my eyes, breathing deeply. But the breaths come quicker and faster. The image of Liam’s broken, bloody face surfacing unbidden. The way his blue eyes frosted over before closing, his skin cracked and pale as he slumped against Deigh’s red scales.

Rough, uneven breaths escape me. Thunder rumbles the ground beneath my feet, the summer air chilled by the cool of rain. Each breath clouds around me as I stand beneath an arch, facing the open courtyard.

The very courtyard where I first met Liam.

I remember the way his eyes lit with a teasing gleam when they first met mine. He was playful, flirtatious, but his eyes captured me. Like crystal glass, filled with murky seawater shining in the sunlight. I’d never seen such a blue.

The memory stings, sharp and insistent with its presence. Since his death, I’ve been left with nothing but every memory I have of him. Each one imprinted upon me, unique and shining. How he smiled, fully and entirely intoxicating, when I entered the room. The way his skin glided against mine between sheets. The feel of his calloused hand gripping my own. His lips coasting mine, teasing, before claiming them for his own, stealing the breath in my lungs.

Every day since his death has been my own personal hell. Waking up, alone, forms a hollow ache within my chest that grows with every second. I never want to leave my bed.

For the first week, everyone grieved alongside me. But we’re in the middle of a war. We can’t waste any time.

Only the pestering of my squad mates and the force behind my dragon’s insistent encouragement force me out of my room now. Although they try to hide it, they’re concerned for me. I act like I can’t feel their penetrating gazes, but it’s suffocating.

Every day is suffocating.

Distantly, I hear someone call my name. With my eyes closed, I can pretend I’m not here. I can pretend he’s alive. I can pretend I will find him standing before me, smiling, when I open my eyes. That he’ll tell me I worry too much and he’ll kiss the rain from my cheeks and lips.

When I open my eyes, it’s not him standing there. It’s Imogen.

Concern lines her face as she stares at me. “I’m so sorry. I can’t.”

Tears burn my eyes as the rain begins to fall harder. Overcome by a heaviness crushing my ribs, my knees start to shake. I can’t tell if I’m holding on to the wall or if it’s the one keeping me up.

“Please,” I beg, voice cracking. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t wake up tomorrow with this pain,” I grip my chest, swallowing the grief threatening to choke me. “It’s like a living, breathing thing inside of me. It’s poisoning me. I…I can’t do it anymore.”

Sobs escape from my lips, gasping and heaving. I must sound like a tortured animal as I collapse to the ground, cracking my knees against the stone. The pain grounds me as I slump against the wall.

This pressure on my chest, the one that settled there as I watched Liam limp towards Deigh a month ago, is stifling me. It’s growing more and more, crushing my lungs, severing my breaths as I cling to the stone beneath my fingers.

I completely forget Imogen until she’s stepping towards me. She watches the tears fall from my eyes, shared sorrow evident in her posture. She, too, knew Liam well. They all did. It wasn’t just me who lost him.

But she knows what he was to me. What I was to him.

I don’t know what convinces her. Maybe it’s the tears. Maybe it’s my pathetic whimpers. Or maybe it’s the hollow look in my eyes as grief consumes me. All I know is she’s staring at me with concern and hesitant understanding. And I cling to that like a lifeline.

“Okay,” her voice sobers me from my tears.

A shaky breath. Another.

“Really?” My whisper is broken in the space between us.

She nods slowly. “I’ll do it. But you have to know what you’re asking me to do.”

I nod back, aware of her hands as they clench and unclench at her sides.

The idea came to me last week when a cadet mocked Violet about losing her “guard dog”. Violet flinched and, suddenly, there he was. Xaden was a feral, untamed thing as he hurled himself at the cadet.

It should’ve been me. I should’ve hurt that dumbass cadet. I wish it had been me as I watched Xaden deliver blow after blow on the cadet before being thrown back by Garrick. My knees and hands were shaking as I watched him be crowded against the wall, restrained as the injured cadet ran down the hall like a fucking coward.

Grief is something that’s different for everyone. I think the only person who knew an ounce of what I felt was Xaden. He lost not only a friend but a brother. He loved him.

And as I stood there, staring as Violet calmed Xaden, I had known this grief would pass for him. It would haunt him forever, but it would scar over. He would heal because he had Violet. He had Garrick and Imogen and Bodhi.

I had Liam.

A steadiness settles in me as I meet her gaze. “I know what I’m asking.”

She closes her eyes, briefly, as if debating if this is worth the risk, before raising her hands towards me.

“You need to stay perfectly still,” she instructs, kneeling before me. “I’m not going to lie to you. This will hurt like hell, but the pain won’t last long. It should fade, along with the memories you want me to erase.”

I nod as trepidation and nerves slowly creep up my spine, causing my hands to shake. I clench them, steeling myself. Forcing determination to settle on my shoulders.

Imogen settles herself before me, waiting for my signal before touching the skin of my temples. The pink of her hair is darker in the low lighting, thunder gradually fading in the distance as rain continues to fall.

“Are you sure?” She asks, voice hesitant.

A flash of Liam’s smile has my gut twisting. Liam used to say that love was something he never thought would happen to him. That love was a fairytale.

After almost a year of being together, he whispered with shaky breaths, “I’ve never loved someone like I love you. You’re the other half of something I didn’t know was missing. Something so tied within me, I feel you always.”

I’d gripped him tightly, clinging to him as I kissed his collarbone, neck, all the way up to his jaw. “I feel you, too.”

He shook his head, lips brushing my ear. “Don’t you think it’s terrifying that at any moment, it could be gone? I could lose you?”

I’d given him reassurances. False promises.

I didn’t know I’d lose him so soon. I didn’t know loving him would become a curse.

Wanting something I can’t ever have again will kill me. I can’t do it anymore.

“Yes,” I answer Imogen. “I’m sure.”

She hesitates, only for a moment, before closing her eyes. I close my own, letting the rain wash my doubts away.

Pressure builds behind my eyes, steady and gradual at her fingertips. I can feel her presence in my mind.

“Start from your most recent memory,” she says. “And slowly go further and further until you reach the oldest one.”

I pause, my heart racing frantically in my chest as I immediately recall the last time I saw Liam.

“No!” I scream, but it’s too late.

Deigh slumps to the ground, motionless.

Blood drips from my hands as I run towards Liam, whose eyes meet mine in wide panic. I watch him stagger forward, limping, before collapsing to the dirt.

I’m there, holding him up as his body begins to slump. Xaden appears, helping me, but I barely glance at him. My entire focus is on Liam’s shallow breathing.

“Take me to him,” he whispers roughly, chest rising and falling jaggedly.

We help bring Liam to Deigh. My shaking hands cling to him as we settle him against the red scales of his dragon. Xaden lingers beside me as we both kneel before Liam, whose gaze is fixed on his friend.

“You’re the brother I’ve always wanted,” he smiles. “Don’t forget where you came from. Who you are, and who you’ll become.”

Tears well in Xaden’s eyes as he nods.

I feel like I’m intruding on a moment between them, but I can’t bring myself to leave Liam’s side.

“I-�� he swallows, gaze fixated on Violet behind us. “I hope I did enough-“

“You did,” Xaden smiles, tears now falling down his cheeks. “You did everything you could and more.”

Liam nods, tears in his own eyes. Xaden leans forward to hold him, one last time.

Liam mumbles something to him I can’t hear before Xaden backs away, back towards Violet. I catch Xaden looking at me, guilt written across his features, but I don’t acknowledge it. I can’t waste any second we have left.

Liam finally, finally, meets my gaze. His jaw clenches as he watches the tears streaming down my skin. His fingers reach up, wiping them away. I lean into his hand on instinct, forcing myself to memorize the way his calloused skin feels against mine.

“I don’t know how to say goodbye,” I whisper.

Liam’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Then don’t.”

He pulls me forward, kissing me with his last breaths. I don’t hesitate. I kiss him with every fiber of my being, knowing I won’t have this for much longer. The feel of his lips will stay with me until I, too, meet Malek at the end of this life. Where I hope he waits for me.

When we part, I lean my forehead against his, breaths sawing through me like a serrated knife’s edge.

“I-I can’t lose you,” I gasp.

His skin is pale, almost gray-tinted, as his fingers softly touch my cheek. “You won’t lose me forever. I’ll see you again.”

A sob escapes my lips before I kiss him again. “I love you. Always.”

Liam’s smile is full of sorrow as he kisses me back. “I’ll love you beyond my last breath,” he whispers against my lips.

His fingers suddenly caress the back of my head, tilting my face to look up at him. There’s a severity in his eyes as he stares down at me. “Every moment we have had is something I’ll cherish long after I’m gone. I’ve never felt so lucky,” he kisses the tip of my nose, the top of my cheeks. “Whatever becomes of me, my soul,” a tear falls from his eye as his gaze holds me captive. “I’ll always be with you.”

I turn my head to kiss the palm of his hand. “I’ll always need you.”

“Not always,” he shakes his head. “I need you to promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“Live,” his smile is beaming as blood trickles down the side of his head from an open cut, staining his blonde hair. “Live and forget me.”

“But-“

“I want you to grow old, live a full life. Fight to live beyond whatever this war will bring.”

I shake my head. “How am I supposed to forget you? You’re all I have.”

“No, I’m not. You have so much to live for, don’t let me stand in the way of something greater ahead of you.” I try to refute, but Liam silences me with another kiss. “You’re the one thing in my life that’s made all of this worth it. For that, I’m grateful for the time I was given with you.”

A whimper escapes me and Liam holds me, breathing me in.

“I kept my promise.” He kisses me once, twice.

In the space between us, we breathe together. I hold my hand to his chest, feeling the rise and fall. One long, deep, shaky breath, a whisper of my name, and he stills.

Silence crowds around me, choking the air as I weep into the skin of his neck, holding him close. A scream builds in my throat as his body grows cold beneath me. Rage rises like a tidal wave within me, numbing the pain.

They’ll pay. Every last Venin will die for this. For what they took from me.

I’m covered in sweat, blood, and dried tears by the time the sun sets and the Venin are defeated in Athebyne. For now.

Flames reach towards the sky, flickering and grasping for the stars. I grip my sword, Liam’s sword, tightly in my hand. Blood trickles down my skin across the blade as I stare into the fire.

Liam’s body burns atop the pyre. Ashes scatter in the breeze as everyone stands to watch. We all lived, and it sickens me. We survived, and Liam, the best of us, didn’t.

Bitterness settles next to the grief. It burns like acid in my gut. The last thing I remember is Violet’s hand gripping my own in comfort.

“You’re not alone,” she whispers.

But I am. I’m entirely alone.

The memory is ripped from my grasp, leaving me gasping, heaving, as the ache in my chest burns.

Before I can steady myself, I’m thrown into another.

Arms wrap around my torso, pulling me close to a firm chest as dim light filters through the arched windows.

“Good morning to you, too,” I whisper, groggily.

A breathy chuckle against my spine has my skin prickling. “Morning, love.”

I bask in the warmth of his arms, the feel of his muscles flexing against my skin as he kisses my shoulder. He hums, continuing kissing up my shoulder to my neck, shifting my hair to kiss up my jaw. I shiver, as his fingers trail down my torso to my hips, pulling the hem of my nightdress up my thighs.

“Liam,” I breathe.

I feel him smile against my ear as he nips at it. “Yes, love? Need something?”

His fingers trail up my thighs, leaving goosebumps in their wake. When his calloused hand reaches the edge of my underwear, Liam’s lips caress my bottom lip.

I whisper against him, “I need you.”

“Whatever you want, I’ll give you,” he smirks before his lips collide with mine.

He kisses me with a lazy, unhurried pace. As if we have all the time in the world.

I shift in his arms, gaining better access to his mouth as I tangle my tongue with his. My fingers dive through his hair as his own slip beneath the lace of my underwear. His skin is warm and rough against me as the tips of his fingers glide across where I want him most.

“Already wet for me, darling?” He growls into my mouth.

I moan as his fingers sink inside me, pumping agonizingly slow. He continues to tease and caress as I melt in his arms. When his thumb rubs smooth circles around my clit, heat begins to prickle at the base of my core. I’m already climbing to my peak, heaving and gasping breaths as he pumps his long, thick fingers in and out, gaining speed the more I moan his name.

“You’re intoxicating,” he groans as he bites my lip. “I fucking love waking up to you like this. Soaked and ready for me.”

A gasp falls from my lips just before he pinches my clit. Light flashes beneath my lids as I cry out, fire blazing up my body as I fall into the rhythm of his fingers. I pulse and squeeze around him as my hands grip onto him tightly. When I come down from my climax, a pounding on the door has me jolting.

“Don’t make me break this fucking door down!” I hear Xaden’s voice yell.

Liam groans, slumping against me. “Shit.”

The bed shifts as he rolls off the bed, covering me with the blankets before throwing open the door.

“What?”

There’s a pause before I hear Xaden’s low chuckle. “Sorry to disrupt your morning, but we have to leave.”

Liam’s shoulders tense. “Now? What happened?”

People are running in the hall, shouts echoing off the walls that force me to sit up, staring in confusion at the chaos.

“Get dressed,” Xaden commands, all amusement gone.

“What’s going on?” Liam asks again.

I can see Xaden’s jaw clench as he stares at his foster brother. “They’re calling us down to the flight field. War Games.”

Liam’s grip on the doorframe whitens his knuckles. “How many minutes do we have?”

Xaden hesitates. “Less than ten, but you need-“

“We’ll meet you on the field.” Liam slams the door shut.

When he turns to me, his eyes are blazing like blue fire. He stalks forward, standing at the edge of our bed. His hands shoot out and drag me to the edge, making me squeal. His fingers tear the lace from me, leaving me bare before him before forcing my legs open. He’s kneeling as I sit up, watching him as he leans forward to lick up my slit in one swift, precise movement. I groan, head falling back as I buck against his unyielding grip.

“But we have to go,” I gasp when he does it once more.

His voice is rough and gravelly as his lips caress my heat. “Guess I have to make every second count.”

The memory fades, like the burning of paper. Ashes scattering in my mind as pain radiates up my spine, throbbing at my temples. I bite my lip to keep myself from screaming as the pressure builds.

My head pounds as I’m thrown further, another memory crashing over me.

“Fuck, baby, that’s it,” Liam groans against my ear, pumping deep into me. “You’re taking me so well.”

I whine, shifting my hips to meet him with every thrust. He hits inside of me deliciously, stars dancing across my vision as his hands hold my waist, pressing me into the sheets.

An urgency fills us as we stop pacing ourselves and chase that fire slowly burning beneath our skin. It races in our blood as our skin slicks with sweat, breaths gasping.

Liam shifts his hips upward on the next thrust, making me moan into his collarbone.

“Gods, do that again.”

Liam smirks, blue eyes glittering when they meet mine. “As you wish.”

The memory warps, lost to time, as I’m thrown further, again and again, into one memory after another and another.

The mat presses against my cheek as Liam holds me down. I can tell he’s holding back since his weight isn’t entirely crushing me.

That’s a mistake he’ll surely regret.

I twist my legs, elbowing him in the face as I throw my weight onto him. He rolls, falling to the mat as I climb atop him, my elbow pressing into his throat to cut off his air supply. My legs hold his arms down to keep him from moving.

He struggles for a moment, but the shining pride in his eyes is what causes butterflies to flutter in my stomach.

“I love it when you throw me around,” he chokes out. I raise my elbow slightly to lessen the pressure on his throat.

I chuckle, leaning forward until we’re inches apart. “You like it when I make you do what I want?”

He smiles. “Keep looking at me like that and I’ll beg for it.”

Paper crumples in his hand, frustration steeling his jaw as he throws it at the wall.

“Stop,” I say, reaching for his clenched fingers. “Stop blaming yourself. It won’t do anything good.”

His hard eyes meet mine, immediately softening. “I don’t know what to do,” his voice is broken, hushed. “I wish I could find her, hide her, take her as far from this as possible.” He shakes his head, closing his eyes. “Sloane doesn’t deserve this life.”

Bringing my hand to his cheek, I force him to open his eyes. “You can’t change the future just as you can’t change the past,” I give him a small smile. “She’ll be okay, Liam. She’ll have us.”

Liam’s gaze holds mine as he breathes deeply. We sit there, suspended in time, as he grips me with shaking hands. I know he’s fighting tears as much as he’s fighting the urge to throw a punch at the wall. But with me here, he slowly begins to calm.

When he grabs my hand laying on his cheek, he kisses it. “I guess I should be grateful she’ll finally meet you.”

I smile at the idea. “I hope she likes me.”

He grips me tighter. “She’ll love you. Besides,” he leans forward, inches from me. “She’ll have to since she’ll be putting up with you for a very, very long time.”

I raise a teasing brow. “How long will that be for?”

“If it’s up to me,” he breathes against my lips. “For the rest of our lives.”

The sunset flickers across the horizon over the distant mountains, casting the room in a dim, fading gold light. It refracts off Liam’s eyes, making the blue iridescent, as he smiles against my lips.

“Will you stay?”

I smile back, nipping his bottom lip. “Always.”

“I-I don’t want to wake up alone anymore.” He hesitates, swallowing. “Move in here with me. Share my bed and steal my blankets. Get dressed with me every morning. I don’t want to waste a moment without you next to me. Make this room both of ours.”

Tears gather in my eyes as warmth fills me, settling in my chest.

I kiss him recklessly, leaving us both breathless as I whisper, “Gods, I love you.”

He laughs, shaking his head. “You have no idea.”

Two cadets with fowl breath and malice in their eyes crowd around me. My heart beats wildly in my throat as I back away. Their hands sharp and insistent as they push me to the corner of the hall. Their hands locked on my wrists to keep me from running.

“Get. Your. Fucking. Hands. Off. Her.”

The words cut through the air like a knife laced with venom. It startles the men, who bolt upright to turn and see who spoke.

Liam’s face is a mask of fury as he strides down the hall. The second our gazes collide, he unleashes himself on them. He throws a punch at one of their faces, knocking them against the wall. The other, he tackles into the brick, cracking the back of the cadet’s skull. He groans as Liam throws punch after punch, blood spraying, before throwing the man to the ground. The other cadet is there, stumbling forward and hurling himself at Liam.

I scream when I see the flash of a dagger. Liam catches it within seconds. Being the best of our year has its benefits as he twists the blade out of the cadet’s grip and stabs it to the hilt into his arm. The cadet’s eyes widen, blood trickling from his mouth as he screams, falling to the ground.

The other cadet bleeds next to him, panting.

“What the fuck?” He groans.

Liam stands, blood soaking his clenched fists at his sides as he stares them down. “You touched her, tried to hurt her, you even scared her.” He shakes his head. “You don’t get to live after that.”

The cadet Liam punched over and over again is now trying to crawl away, but it’s too late. Liam is there, hauling him to his feet and holding him against the wall by his throat.

“Liam,” I whisper, fear rattling my voice.

He stops. Everything stops as he lets go of the cadet and turns to me. He’s there, holding me as he quickly examines every inch of exposed skin.

“Yes, love? Did they hurt you?”

I shake my head. “No, I’m f-fine,” I step closer to him, cradling his bleeding hands in mine. “Just please get me out of here.”

He nods, not even sparing them a second glance as he whisks me out of the corridor. We walk quickly until we’re outside in a courtyard. Under a stone arch he stops, pressing me against the wall as he holds me close.

“You looked so afraid,” he whispers in my hair. “I-I couldn’t handle it. Did-“ he hesitates. “Did I scare you?”

“You could never scare me,” I hold him tighter as the lingering fear begins to fade. A warmth settling in me from his close proximity. A sense of rightness at the feel of his arms around me.

He pulls back, looking me over once more. “If those fuckers laid a finger on you-“

I smile softly. “You stopped them before it got worse. I’m alright.”

He nods, forehead touching mine in defeat as his shoulders sag, releasing all the pent-up tension inside of him. “If I wasn’t there, if things were worse, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. Who I’d become.”

I burrow into him, letting his warmth chase every horrible thought away. “But you didn’t lose me. You won’t.”

Liam shakes his head. “I need you to promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“Promise me you’ll fight. You’ll fight till your last breath to stay alive, to see the next day. I can’t-“ he swallows. “I couldn’t live knowing I could’ve saved you. But I can’t always be there.”

“You don’t need to be, but I’m grateful you were there today,” I press closer. “I promise to fight and not give up.”

He nods, satisfied. Silence envelops us as the night breeze whistles through the courtyard.

The moon shines on his blue eyes, making them almost silver as he says, “And I promise to fight for you, too. To love you and keep you safe. Till my last breath. You can hold me to that.”

Music floats through the air as Liam holds me close, hands intertwining as he guides me to an alcove covered in shadows. I stifle a laugh as we race through the corridor. We ignore the shouting taunts from Ridoc and Sawyer down the hall as they head back to the party.

Once we’re out of earshot and covered by the dark, Liam presses me against the stone of the alcove. He doesn’t waste a second. His lips are on mine, holding me captive. He’s insistent and intoxicating as he consumes me with just a kiss. He smells of liquor and desire, making me feel lightheaded.

His rough fingers drag the fabric of my dress up as his lips begin to trail down my jaw, neck, and chest. Before I can protest, he’s kneeling, throwing the fabric up to expose my legs to the cool night air.

“Liam!” I whisper-shout. “Someone will see!”

Liam raises a brow. “Then you better keep quiet.”

He grips the back of my leg, tossing it over his shoulder as he disappears beneath my dress. His breath is hot against my skin as he licks up my inner thighs.

I bite back a squeal as he moves my underwear out of the way, fingers toying with my skin.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ve got you.”

“Liam-“ I’m cut off by the feel of his mouth kissing my heat. His tongue diving deep inside me, causing me to throw a hand over my mouth, stifling a moan. My knees begin to buckle but he holds me in his firm grip, keeping me standing as he continues to twist his tongue deep inside, feasting on me.

I’m delirious with want as he continues to eat me out, thumb caressing my clit lazily. Pleasure spreads up my body, curling around my spine. My hips rock against him, pressure building and building before-

“Liam,” I gasp against my hand as my climax hits me, hard and fast. His fingers and tongue prolong my pulsing as I come all over his mouth. It feels like an eternity before my body gives out, sliding against the stone.

“Gods, I love the way you say my name,” he groans against me. “Especially when I fuck you.”

Liam stands, shifting his hands as I hear the sound of a buckle. Before I can calm my racing heart, he grips my thighs and holds up my legs to wrap firmly around his waist. I obey and immediately suck in a breath. The head of his cock is poised at my soaked entrance.

He suddenly leans forward, surprising me with a kiss on the tip of my nose. My heart swells before he finds my lips, kissing me. It’s consuming, claiming. Leaving me breathless and wanting.

“I love you so much, baby,” he says before pushing into me, stretching me. We moan together, breaths intermixing, as he bottoms out.

Using the wall as leverage, Liam adjusts me so my hips are at the perfect angle, his hands holding my ass firmly before he begins to thrust. My nails dig into his shirt as he hits me just right. This angle allows him to sink deeper and deeper, causing gasps to fall from my lips like whispered secrets.

He stops the sound with his mouth on my own, swallowing my moans. I taste myself on his lips and tongue. It’s incredibly erotic and fills me with immense pleasure as he thrusts harder and harder. I bounce against the stone, clinging to him for dear life as he begins chasing his own pleasure. I’m already climbing with him, breaths sawing through my lungs as I feel myself chasing another orgasm.

“That’s it, baby,” he coos. “You’re incredible.” He hisses as his cock hits me just right. My inner walls fluttering around him as he pumps faster. “Fuck, that feels-“

He groans just as his hips piston into me, wild and untamed as he releases inside of me. I’m right there with him. Like a flower bursting open in the sun, warmth burns through my body at the sensation. I don’t even care if anyone hears us anymore, I’m moaning his name loud enough to echo off the walls as I gyrate against him.

When we both finally come down, we’re twitching and panting, giving one another tired, lazy smiles. Liam towers above me, breathing heavily as he kisses my forehead, my temple, the corner of my mouth.

“Gods, you’re insatiable.”

I laugh before wiggling in his arms, causing his still-hard cock to sink further into me. He moans at the sensation.

“Another round?”

He laughs with me. “You don’t have to ask me twice,” his hands are firm on my wrists as he holds them above my head, trapping them against the cool stone. “As you wish.”

The stars are bright above the flight field as Liam and I lay back in the grass. It prickles the skin of my hands as a breeze flutters over us. The distant sounds of crickets and a nearby river fill the quiet. Both of our dragons lie close by, their sulfuric breathing filling the silence. We’re far away enough from them to feel as though we’re entirely alone.

Liam’s arm is close to mine as we lay, looking up at the constellations.

“What did Ridoc say to you earlier when we were leaving the gym?” I ask quietly. “You seemed annoyed.”

Liam’s breath hitches, his chest stilling. I feel his arm tense as he tries to slowly breathe out, almost like he’s calming himself.

“He, uh, just wanted to know about something.”

That piques my interest. I raise a brow. “About?”

Liam is quiet for a moment. “He wanted to know if you were single.”

“Oh.”

The silence is suddenly suffocating. The presence of our dragons makes this feel incredibly awkward, as if we have an audience. I can feel the weight of my dragon peering at us, like the gossip she is. I ignore her.

I don’t turn to look at Liam as I bite my lower lip. It’s been months of this constant flirtation. Months of tension that’s been building and building but I can’t tell if he’s just incredibly friendly with everyone or actually wanting a relationship with me. It’s driving me crazy.

Liam’s the type of guy who anyone can love and I hate how I’m one of them. How I’ve completely fallen for someone who probably only views me as nothing more than a friend.

A shaky exhale escapes me as I try and compose myself. “What did you say?”

Liam scoffs. “I told him to go ahead and ask you out.”

I startle, eyes wide and heart beating out of my chest as I turn to look over at him only to find he’s already staring at me. There’s a gleam of satisfaction in his eye as he watches my reaction.

Anger rises, sudden and quick. “Did you just say that to see what I’d do?!”

Liam shrugs before winking. “Just making sure you’re not interested in him.”

The anger dies as quick as it arrived. But my heart continues to pound, nerves sparking in my gut. “Why?”

Liam is suddenly leaning close, breath fanning over my face. He smells of mint, earth, and something so familiar, I ache to be closer to him. “I told him to go fuck himself. That you’re mine and he’d end up with a broken nose on that pretty-boy face of his as soon as he even spoke to you.”

My breath catches in my throat, a squeak escaping my lips. Liam’s mouth twitches at the sound.

“Who said I’m yours?” I whisper, unsure and entirely too hopeful for my own good.

Liam’s smile is beaming and brilliant. “You were mine the second you punched Jack in the throat after parapet.”

A laugh bursts out of me, startling the quiet of the night. Liam joins in, but his gaze is heavy and insistent on me.

“He deserved it,” I huff.

“He did,” Liam’s smile is contagious as his fingers move a piece of hair behind my ear, lingering next to my cheek. “But I also knew when you told me I’m just another big asshole at Basgiath,” he winks.

I roll my eyes playfully. “You came on too strong from the second you met me.”

He shrugs. “Didn’t want anyone to steal you away from me before I got the chance to sweep you off your feet.”

I raise a brow. “And did you?”

He lays his hand against my cheek, no more hesitating. “Depends on if you’re truly mine or not.”

I lean into him, eyes closing. “I’ve been yours for a long time, Liam.”

The nighttime breeze wraps us tighter together as he leans in and kisses me. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt his lips on mine and it sends a spark of fire down my body, lighting every nerve like a firework. I’m electrified, lighting up the night sky as he kisses me like something fragile and precious. Something worth having.

“I love you,” I whisper against his lips.

He startles, pushing himself away before he’s suddenly hovering above me. A smile that rivals the brightness of the stars shines on me as he leans down, our noses touching.

“You love me?”

I nod, my nerves fluttering as he reaches out to caress my cheek. I’ve never seen him so soft, so gentle. No one would believe how trusting, caring, and loving he can be. But only I see it. Only with me does he let down his walls.

He’s kissing me again, but this time, he’s no longer holding back. He’s not gentle as he bites my bottom lip, sucking it between his teeth. I moan as his tongue surges into my mouth, claiming me. I’m lost to the feel of him as his hands tangle in my hair, pulling my head back to gain access to my throat.

Against my skin, he whispers. “Gods, I’ve been wanting to hear you say that for so long.” He licks a strip of my skin, biting my pulse, before sucking my clavicle. “Fuck, I love you so damn much, I’ve been going insane with wanting you.”

My breath hitches as his fingers trail beneath my leathers, finding the skin of my hip. He presses me into the grass as he finds his way back to my lips. Kissing me once more.

Time seems to hold its breath as we kiss under the stars, uncaring of what the next day may bring. All we have is this moment, clinging to one another and sighing with relief. I’ve never felt so happy in my entire life as Liam looks down on me with such adoration.

When he suddenly sits back on his knees, I pout up at him. He shakes his head, laughing as he holds his hand out.

“Come with me.”

He pulls me up with him off the grass and starts racing towards the school.

“Where are we going?” I huff, trying to keep up.

Liam��s grip is unwavering as he turns back to look at me. “We only have a few hours till sunrise and I need all the time I can get to show you just how much I love you,” he winks.

Warmth rises up my neck to my cheeks, making him smile wider as he pulls me after him towards Basgiath.

“Is something going on between you and Liam?” Violet asks.

I startle, choking on my drink. Rhiannon snickers as she pats my back, helping me. Once I can breathe, my eyes betray me. I automatically find Liam across the dining hall, talking with Xaden and Garrick. His face is tight with tension and concern as his hands clench beside his plate. When his eyes meet mine, as if he can sense me, the tension is immediately gone. He softens. A smile playing on his mouth as he nods to me, saying good morning.

I nod back, warmth filling my gut before I avoid Violet’s inquisitive stare and go back to eating. “Nothing’s going on.”

Rhiannon snorts. “Sure. And nothing is going on with Violet and Xaden.”

Violet stiffens next to me. “There’s nothing-“

Rhiannon holds up a hand, stopping her. “Don’t fight it, Violet. It’s way too obvious.”

Violet glares at her best friend, causing me to laugh. I catch Liam glancing at us from the sound.

“It’s just as obvious with you two,” Rhiannon presses.

I prickle at their interrogation. “What do you want me to say? We’re just friends.”

Violet shakes her head. “Friends don’t look at each other the way he looks at you.”

I stare at her, brows pinched. “What do you mean?”

Violet glances at Xaden’s table and smiles. “Like that.”

I whip my gaze back to Liam to find him staring. He doesn’t look away when I meet his blue eyes. There’s an underlying intensity in his stare, something heavy and wanting. It leaves me breathless and trapped, wanting more than anything for us to be alone. To finally tell him how I feel. To see if maybe, just maybe, the lingering stares and touches and late-night talks are more than just friendship.

I break away first, staring down at the broccoli on my plate with sorrow climbing its way up my sternum. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Violet throws her hands in the air, clearly exasperated. “Gods, can’t you guys just shut up and make-out already!”

Her voice echoes around the table and I freeze. Closing my eyes, I hope he didn’t just hear her. I hope to every god that can hear me that he isn’t the one whose chair screeched against the floor. That it’s not his booted feet coming towards our table.

“Ladies,” Liam’s deep octave vibrates against my already rattled nerves.

“Oh fuck,” I mumble. I open my eyes to find Liam hovering above me, leaning his hands on the table.

“Morning, gorgeous,” he winks.

I fight the blush rising to my cheeks by curving my nails into my palms. The pain is sharp and helps clear my head.

“Morning,” my voice catches, sounding winded. “Did, uh, you need something?”

I catch Rhiannon smiling at the exchange in my peripheral.

Liam’s hand reaches back to wrap around his neck, showing off the rippling muscles in his bicep as he shrugs. “I was about to head to Battle Brief and wanted to see if you would join me. I mean, since you’re already heading there anyway.”

I nod, butterflies threatening to rise from my gut and fall out of my mouth as I clench my fists beneath the table. His stupid biceps are all I can focus on as his bright blue eyes burn into me.

FOCUS!

I smile. “Yeah, sure,” I turn to Violet and Rhiannon, who are smiling so big and taunting, I want to throw them off the bench. “Are you guys done? Want to head over with us?”

Violet shakes her head. “Oh no, don’t wait up for us. As a matter of fact, I think you’re looking a little chilly though,” she raises a concerned brow. “Do you need my coat or-“

Liam is draping his jacket over my shoulders before she can finish her sentence. I’m startled and staring as his cheeks redden from the attention.

“Ok, we’ll see you guys there,” he holds a hand out to me, waiting.

I turn back to Violet to see a satisfied gleam in her eyes. I glare.

Rhiannon chokes on a laugh as I take his hand, quickly making our way out of the dining hall.

We shove our way through the crowded halls, Liam close by my side as I hold on to his jacket. It’s warm and smells so much like him that I try and resist burrowing my nose into it. Would he think it’s weird if I keep it?

I shrug out of it, not trusting myself or this sudden burst of kleptomania to keep from me stealing it. “Here, I’m not super cold. It’s okay.”

Liam stops me, shoving it back onto my shoulders. “No, I want you to. Besides,” he winks. “You look good in it.”

I hide my blush as we make our way through the crowd once more.

It’s only when we’re at the door to Battle Brief that I realize I’m still holding his hand and he never let go.

Like knotted string, Imogen unravels my mind. Every knot a memory. She pulls and yanks until I’m fraying at the edges. Pain shoots through my veins, burning me from the inside out. A scream slowly builds in my throat as the pain increases to an all-consuming fire.

Just as the pain rises, it falls, like a cresting wave crashing against the shore. And a strange numbing sensation takes over.

A strange hollow throbbing begins to pulse inside of my head. As if something, or many things, are missing. I can’t place it and as soon as I try to recall what’s gone, it whisks away like a leaf in the breeze.

Imogen’s hands are steady on me as another memory, this one golden and bright, surfaces.

“I could show you a thing or two with those pretty long legs of yours wrapped around my-“

A crunching sound echoes in the courtyard as my fist collides with Jack Barlowe’s nose. His head whips back, harsh and startling. I keep my stance, watching and waiting as he whips back around, fury lighting his eyes.

“You fucking bitch!”

My hand shoots out again, this time slamming into his larynx, cutting off the sound in his throat. He chokes, staggering backwards. He falls to the ground, heaving.

The son of a bitch deserves it for pinching my ass and asking me to meet him in the dorms tonight like I’m some sort of whore. I roll my eyes and walk away from him, ignoring the stares that follow in my wake. I didn’t survive the fucking parapet to be groped and manipulated by some jackass.

“Excuse me?”

I whip around, ready to take on another asshole when I hesitate. My eyes widen at the sight of the man before me. He’s incredibly tall and broad. Muscles line his arms, rippling across his skin as if he’s a statue at a gallery. He towers over me with an impish grin on his face. His golden blonde hair a beacon in the sunlight. My heart races in my ears as I stare up at his incredible handsome face.

“You’re in the Fourth Wing, right?” His voice is deep, hypnotic. I could lose myself to the rhythm of it.

I nod, dumbly. “Flame Section.”

He smiles and I feel a strange sense of gravity slipping from beneath my feet at the sight. Gods, he’s beautiful.

But beautiful men often tend to be assholes. Like Jack.

“Me too,” he shrugs. “What’s your name, gorgeous?”

My hackles rise at the compliment. “Why?”

He puts his hands up, showing he’s not a threat. “Hey, I’m just curious. I wanted to know the woman who beat the shit out the biggest asshole at Basgiath.”

I roll my eyes. “All men are assholes here. He just happens to be one of them.”

He cocks his head, leaning forward with a twinkle in his eye. “Am I one of them?”

I step close, glaring up at him. “Most likely, given how you seem to entirely depend on your good looks and charm to get you through your time here. Just like any asshole.”

“You think I’m good looking?” His smirk is intoxicating. “And charming?”

I shake my head. “And apparently brainless.”

He leans closer. “I’ll be whatever you want me to be as long as you keep talking to me.”

My heart gets caught in my throat as I try and swallow. He watches the movement with sharp, knowing eyes. That smirk stretching wider.

“What if I don’t ever speak to you again?”

“You want me to beg, is that it?” His voice is as soft as velvet and it slithers over my skin. “Should I get on my knees for you?”

The image of him on his knees, looking up at me through his lashes, has me jolting away from him. He laughs, which rings through the air like a forgotten melody I only just remembered. It’s frightening how familiar he feels to me.

Annoyance prickles my skin as he continues to laugh at my expense. “You’re just another pompous ass who gets off at the idea of taunting me.”

He shakes his head, his smile never wavering. “Oh gods, you’re entirely wrong. Trust me.” He raises a hand, holding it out to me. “How about we start over, yeah? I’m Liam Mairi and I promise I’m not an asshole. Or,” he shrugs. “Not as big of an asshole as Jack is, at least.”

I can’t help my smile at the words. My annoyance simmers, but something inside of me knows he won’t be like Jack at all. I’ve always been good at reading people and Liam seems like he might actually be the opposite of what I thought he was.

I whisper my name back at him in greeting before reaching out and shanking his hand.

Something golden, like a thread, weaves between us as our skin touches for the first time. Intertwining around the space between our rib cages that has me gasping. It’s familiar, yet frightening. It’s something fragile, but I know it’ll somehow be something glorious. If I let myself curl into it. If I trust it. Trust him.

As I appraise Liam Mairi, I know, deep in the marrow of my bones, that I can trust him. That maybe, just maybe, he’ll become something more. He might be my everything. If I let him.

And that’s the most terrifying thing of all.

As if I’m rising out of water, after drowning for so long and seeking oxygen, I surface from the memories. They fade away with the tide, blinking from existence, as I feel my breath steady me.

Blinking my eyes open, I find Imogen moving back from me. With a quirk of my brow, I stare up at her eyes now brimming with unshed tears.

Why is she crying?

“Imogen?” My voice cracks, roughly, as if I’ve been screaming for hours.

Glancing around, we’re sitting on the stone ground of the courtyard. An arch protects us from the rain. The clouds are dark and ominous above, but I don’t remember coming out here. Weren’t we just having dinner in the dining hall?

Furrowing my brows, I purse my lips. How did we end up here?

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

I whirl to look at Imogen. “What for?”

That’s when I notice the skin of my cheeks are damp. Touching them, I quickly wipe them with my sleeve. Must’ve been from the rain.

“Can we go back inside? It’s cold.”

Imogen is still staring at me as she helps me from the ground. My muscles ache and pinch as if I were sitting for a long time. Strange.

I stretch my limbs and stare up at the dark clouds. “Hopefully we didn’t miss dinner.”

The last thing I remember was heading to the dining hall with Violet. How did I get here without her?

Imogen is silent as she watches me.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

She hesitates. “Nothing. Let’s go back-“

“There you are!”

We both turn to find Violet and Xaden heading towards us. Concern is painted across their faces as they approach.

“Are you alright?” Violet asks, stepping towards me.

I tilt my head. “Yeah, I’m fine, why?”

Imogen flinches in my peripheral, catching Xaden’s eye. He narrows his gaze on her as Violet continues to fret over me.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve been there for you. I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone in this. You never will be.”

I furrow my brows, staring at her. “What are you talking about, Vi? Weren’t we heading to dinner?”

She freezes. Suddenly the quiet is stifling as everyone shifts their focus to Imogen.

“What did you do?” Violet asks, her voice piercing.

Imogen stares at the ground, her eyes brimming with tears again. She doesn’t respond.

Xaden’s dark eyes are heavy on me as he steps closer. He whispers my name like I’m a startled animal and it sets my nerves on edge.

Why is everyone being so cryptic and dramatic?

Violet is the one who steps in front of him, taking my hands in hers. “Do you know who Liam Mairi is?”

At the sound of the name, something strange happens. An echo of something deep inside of me leaves me aching and wanting. I search for what it is that has me feeling this way, but I’m left empty. As if a part of me is missing. As if I’ve been cut up and left to figure out how to pull myself back together again. All I can feel are the ashes of something that used to be there and I can’t understand what it was.

“Who’s Liam?”

Weaver of Fate

509 notes · View notes

adelliet · 2 months ago

Text

Joel Miller X f!reader

Drunk Desires

Summary: Joel hadn’t had any intimate contact with a woman for a long time, until he unexpectedly stumbled upon you. He saved you, and then rewarded you with an irreplaceable gift.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, weird creeps annyoing reader, alcohol consumption, strong language, age gap, nicknames (sweetheart, baby, ...), multiple orgasm (come on it's Joel Miller), fingering, oral sex, unprotected sex (p i v), pull-out method, short aftercare

A/n: Hey! So, it got a little longer, sorry, I really got into it… I also apologize if some phrases or parts aren’t grammatically correct or don’t make sense, English isn’t my native language! <3 Anyway, enjoy!

Masterlist

As handsome as Joel is, he hasn’t been with many women in his lifetime. Before the apocalypse, he was fairly active, but now? That part of his life is a mess. If anyone asked him how long it had been since his last time with a woman, he probably wouldn’t even remember. And honestly, he was fine with that.

At least, most of the time.

When he moved to Jackson to live near his brother, a small part of him hoped he’d reclaim some of his old self, that despite his age, he might become a “sex dragon” again. But things didn’t quite turn out that way. Instead of spending his days fucking, he found himself helping Tommy with hunting trips or organizing events for the local kids.

Not that he minded, far from it. In fact, he loved being able to focus on something other than survival, on something that didn’t revolve around whether he’d live to see another sunrise. But the truth was, he was alone. Sure, he had Tommy, and through him, a sense of family, but that didn’t fill the quiet spaces.

Most evenings, he ended up at the bar, a glass of whiskey in his hand, watching the amber liquid swirl as he idly played with it. It wasn’t exciting, but it had become his favorite pastime. Boring, maybe, but his.

And tonight was no different. He sat alone in the corner, quietly observing, and if he was being honest, judging, everyone around him. Every time his eyes landed on a couple, even the young ones, his chest tightened, and he had to look away. He hated to admit it, but he was jealous.

The only thing that dulled the sting was the whiskey in his hand, dark and bitter, with two cubes of ice slowly melting into it. He took a slow sip, feeling the burn trail down his throat, a welcome distraction from the ache in his chest.

He leaned against the wooden wall, taking a deep breath, letting the familiar scent of the bar, whiskey, cigarettes, and the faint musk of old wood, wash over him. It was comforting in its own way, allowing him to relax. Or at least, as much as he ever could.

Still, his mind refused to stay quiet. It wandered, spinning thoughts and fantasies about what it would be like if he had someone. A woman. Pretty, smart, independent, but not too proud to accept help when she needed it. He pictured them together, imagined the warmth of her touch, the way it would feel to hold her close, to kiss her, to-

A sudden, unnatural loud noise cut through his thoughts like a blade. His body tensed immediately. Snapping out of his daydream, he scanned the room, then stood up, instincts kicking in.

It sounded like two male voices cutting off a softer, more hesitant female one. Joel furrowed his brows and followed the sound, his instincts already telling him something was off.

As soon as he got a clear view, he understood the situation instantly. A young woman, pretty, clearly uncomfortable, was pressed against the wall in a booth. One of the men kept sliding closer to her, invading her space, while the other sat across from them, grinning like an idiot, chuckling under his breath. They both looked like creeps.

Joel didn’t hesitate.

“Any problems?” His voice was low, rough, predatory. The kind of voice that made people pause.

The entire bar seemed to hush for a moment as both men turned their heads toward him. And then there was you. Your eyes met his, wide with uncertainty at first, but then, hope.

“Fuck off, dude,” one of the creeps spat, barely sparing Joel a glance before turning back to you. You were still trapped, squeezed between him and the wall, your body tense, your eyes darting between them and Joel.

Joel’s jaw tightened. “I will,” he said, voice calm but firm, tilting his head slightly in your direction. “As soon as you leave her alone.”

The second man scoffed. “How about you mind your own damn business, huh?” he muttered, leaning in close enough that Joel caught a whiff of his breath, rancid, like cheap beer and rotting teeth. Joel nearly gagged.

And then, after a beat, he laughed. Loud. Deep. A laugh that wasn’t friendly at all.

Both men turned their attention back to him, clearly irritated now. “Hey, you shit, we’re telling you one last time, go to hell-“

The guy barely finished his sentence before he made the mistake of stepping closer. The second he was within reach, Joel’s hand shot out, gripping his jacket and yanking him in until they were nearly nose to nose.

Joel’s expression darkened, his voice dropping to something cold and lethal. “Leave,” he growled, eyes burning into the man’s like a wolf sizing up its prey. “And never, ever, touch her again. Or I swear to God, you won’t have those eyes or that pretty little nose left. Understood?”

The creep’s head shook in pure fear, and the moment Joel released him, he bolted out of sight. Joel then turned his attention to the other guy, the one still frozen next to you, his face pale with shock. He didn’t even need a warning, within seconds, he was gone too, disappearing as quickly as he had slithered in.

Joel scoffed, shaking his head as he watched them scramble. “Wretches,” he muttered under his breath before finally turning to you.

The relief in your eyes was unmistakable, and the way you looked at him, grateful, warm, made something inside him shift. Your eyes really were something else, he had to admit. Actually, you were something else.

“Are you… okay?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. You nodded quickly, offering a bright smile. “Yes! Thank you so much!”

Your voice was soft, elegant, so unlike the rough world around you. Joel wasn’t sure why, but hearing it sent something strange through him. A deep, twisting sensation low in his stomach. Something he hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

“Alright.” He gave you a small nod and was about to leave you be when you stopped him. “Wait!” He paused, glancing back at you.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Joel huffed a quiet chuckle. “No, thank you-“

“Please,” you insisted. “It's the last thing I can do.”

You looked so earnest, so determined to repay him, that he hesitated. Any other time, his answer would have been obvious. A beautiful young woman offering to share a drink? Hell, in the past, he wouldn’t have thought twice.

But now… now he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t a young man anymore, and sitting across from someone like you, fresh-faced, full of life, felt almost wrong.

Then again, those eyes of yours had a way of convincing people. After a moment of silence, he sighed and gave in, sliding into the booth across from you, making you jump a little from excitment.

“So, what do you like to drink?” you asked, your voice brimming with energy.

Joel didn’t answer right away. Instead, he just… looked at you. Studied you. Every little detail. The glow of your skin, the way your long lashes framed your eyes, the soft curve of your lips. Your hair looked impossibly smooth, the kind that begged to be touched. You were perfect, almost too perfect, like you didn’t quite belong in this world.

And somehow, he was sitting across from you.

“Hello?”

Your voice snapped him out of it. He’d been staring too long. Too long for it to be normal. He needed to be more careful, or he’d start looking like one of those creeps he’d just chased off. Clearing his throat, he straightened up, forcing himself back to reality. “Whiskey.”

You nodded, pursing your lips thoughtfully. “Ah. Bitter.” Joel gave a small nod, his usual unreadable expression in place, except for the faintest hint of a smile ghosting across his face. Almost invisible, but it was there.

“And something else? Maybe something to eat or-“

“Whiskey is enough. Thank you,” Joel cut in smoothly, lifting a hand in a small, polite gesture. There was a hint of a smile on his lips, subtle but real.

You nodded and got up to head to the bar.

Joel exhaled, settling into his seat, but his gaze naturally followed you. Again, his eyes moved over you, taking in details he hadn’t allowed himself to before.

The way your tight black jeans hugged your legs and ass perfectly. The cropped brown jacket, fitted just right, didn’t reveal much from the back, but it didn’t need to. The curve of your body already told him everything.

And that’s when it hit him. He was checking you out. Like a damn teenager.

Joel clenched his jaw and quickly looked away, clearing his throat as if that would clear his thoughts, too. But it didn’t matter. You were like a magnet. And God help him, he was already getting addicted.

Joel let out a slow breath, trying, really trying, not to look again. But his eyes had a mind of their own.

You were leaning against the counter now, arching your back just enough to push that perfect, round ass out. It wasn’t on purpose, at least, he didn’t think it was, but damn, it wasn’t helping him one bit.

A heat started building in him, low and persistent, the kind he hadn’t felt in a long time. Not like this. Shifting in his seat, he tried to get comfortable, but even his jeans were betraying him now, getting tighter in all the wrong places.

Shit.

It was almost unbelievable, hell, embarrassing, that just from looking at you, he was already hard.

But here he was.

An old, grumpy bastard sitting in a booth, shifting uncomfortably, grateful that the table at least covered his lap. And waiting. For you.

A woman so far out of his league, it wasn’t even funny. He exhaled sharply, running a hand down his face, as if that would snap him out of it.

Get it together, Miller.

“Everything alright?” you asked softly as you sat back down, sliding the glass of dark gold liquid toward him. Joel exhaled slowly, nodding as he took the drink into his hands. “Yeah… thank you.”

But if he was trying to steady himself, you weren’t doing much better.

Your eyes flickered down to his hands, big, strong, rough in all the right ways. It was almost impossible not to imagine what they could do. What they could feel like.

And then there was his face. Sharp, rugged, pretty in a way that men his age weren’t supposed to be. Sure, your friends would call him old. Maybe even tell you he was too old. But you? You found him more attractive than half the boys your age.

Because unlike them, he wasn’t just handsome, he was experienced. In every way.

And definitely in that way.

Your gaze drifted to his eyes, dark and unreadable, full of secrets you desperately wanted to unravel. What was he thinking about? Did he, maybe, want you, too?

The heat between your legs pulsed stronger, making you shift in your seat, pressing your thighs together in a poor attempt to dull the ache.

“I’m Y/N, by the way…” you coughed out, desperate to break the thick tension settling between you.

Joel wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, having just poured the whiskey straight down his throat. His gaze flickered from your face, just for a moment, before dropping lower. Your chest. And then, just as quickly, his eyes snapped back up.

“Joel,” he finally said, his voice low, gruff. That name hit you like a punch to the gut.

Joel.

It planted itself deep in your brain, burning itself into your memory. You knew, right then and there, that you’d never forget it.

“And… thank you,” you added, suddenly feeling shy. “For, um… saving me.”

Joel gave a small shrug. “No problem…” He almost left it at that, like he had with every other response, but after realizing he was barely stringing two words together, he forced himself to continue.

“Those assholes needed to learn their place.” You nodded, fully agreeing. But deep down, your mind wasn’t on those men anymore. It was on him.

“And how do you live here, in Jackson?” you asked, trying to keep the conversation going. Joel took a sip of his whiskey, his eyes momentarily drifting away before meeting yours again. The connection was instant, like a spark in the dark. For a moment, you both just melted, caught in the pull of each other’s gaze.

It took you a second to catch your breath, your thoughts scattered. His eyes… they were so damn beautiful. “It’s been a few months now, I dare say…” He paused, watching you closely. “What about you?”

You struggled to find your words, your throat tight from the intensity of his stare. “I… I moved in just a couple days ago…” You swallowed hard, hoping your voice didn’t sound as shaky as you felt.

“A newbie, I see,” Joel said with a small scoff, his lips curling into a half-smile. You nodded, trying to play it cool, but the heat creeping up your neck betrayed you. You could feel your cheeks burning, the redness spreading across your face. It was like your body had betrayed you.

You quickly looked away, hoping the blush would fade, but there was no denying it. You were shy. Suddenly, you were aware of every little thing, how your hands were resting, how your legs felt, the way your breath hitched when you thought of him.

Despite that, you thoroughly enjoyed his presence, and even though Joel didn’t show it, he enjoyed yours as well.

A lot.

After a long and tireless conversation, where Joel spent most of the time just listening to your excited stories and experiences, you were now walking side by side. Not too close to invade each other’s space, but not too far either, so you could still hear each other if one of you spoke.

Right now, though, you were both silent. The darkness around you was beautifully illuminated by the warm glow of street lamps. Above, the stars shone brightly, guiding your way. The snow fell gently, blending seamlessly into the white carpet beneath your feet, your boots leaving soft imprints as you walked. A faint breeze whispered through the night, barely noticeable.

It was perfect. Neither of you spoke, yet the quiet felt comfortable. More than anything, you felt safe, something you hadn’t experienced in a long time.

Joel, on the other hand, finally didn’t feel alone. He was grateful for the company, especially because the company was you. It almost felt unreal, walking beside the sweetest, most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Like a dream.

Still, a part of him braced for the inevitable. He knew that, sooner or later, you’d probably stop talking to him. Maybe you’d acknowledge him with a polite wave or a nod when passing him on the street. But eventually, you’d move on. And he’d be just another face in the crowd.

For a fleeting moment, your fingertips nearly brush against his, a spark of electricity passing between you, silent, but impossible to ignore. It’s what finally compels you to speak.

“It’s really nice…” Joel’s brows knit together in mild confusion, unsure of what you mean.

“The weather,” you add quickly, prompting a soft exhale of understanding from him.

“Yeah… the town at this time of night is definitely something.”

You nod, your gaze drifting over the quiet streets before inevitably settling back on him. Just looking at him sends your heart into a steady climb, warmth pooling beneath your skin.

Joel gestures toward a small brown cabin a few meters away. “That yours?” You hesitate for a beat before answering, the words carrying a weight of something unspoken.

“Oh… yeah. That’s mine.” A faint trace of sadness lingers in your voice, too subtle to explain, but not enough to go unnoticed.

With each step closer to your house, the inevitable goodbye loomed nearer, a moment you weren’t ready for. Neither was Joel.

After years of relentless stress, of running from clickers and worse, the weight of it all had been suffocating. But now, standing beside him, everything felt different. Life felt worth living again. Like it was always meant to be. You didn’t want to give up this feeling, this moment with Joel.

“Well… looks like this is the end,” you exhale, suciing your lips together awkwardly, as you both stand at the door of your house. Joel nods. “Probably,” he murmurs, glancing down, bracing himself for the hollow feeling to return, for life to feel meaningless again.

Silence stretched between you, heavy and uncertain, before an idea surfaced in your mind, one that could either be the best or worst decision of your life.

“Maybe I’m being silly for even asking…” Joel’s head snapped up, his eyes locking onto yours, searching, waiting. “But um… don’t you wanna come in? Get something to eat… or drink, again?”

The moment the words left your mouth, regret crept through you. His expression shifted—hesitation flickering across his face. But it wasn’t because he didn’t want to. No, he wanted to. More than anything.

The problem was the voice in his head, the one that never let him rest. This is a bad idea. Someone could see. The neighbors were nosy, and people talked. Something could happen. He didn’t want to bring trouble to you, didn’t want to hurt you.

But God, he wanted you.

“Or if you don’t want to, it’s totally fine, I just—”

“Sure.”

His voice cut through your nervous rambling, firm and certain. Your eyebrows shot up in pleasant surprise. “I’d love to.”

A quiet giggle slipped past your lips, as you quickly checked your pockets for your keys.

This is a terrible idea.

The silence in your kitchen grew heavier with each passing second, broken only by the occasional sound of you or Joel sipping your drinks. It wasn’t that there was nothing to say—you simply enjoyed the quiet. Though, if you had to choose, you’d much rather hear Joel’s crusty voice.

Then, an idea popped into your head. “How about we play a game?”

Joel’s eyes met yours the moment you spoke. “What game?” he asked, clearing his throat and raising an eyebrow. “Maybe a board game? Or cards… poker, maybe?”

Joel scoffed, shaking his head as he looked down. Memories flooded back—late nights at the pub, playing poker with Tommy and the rest of the guys. Good old times…

“We don’t have to, I was just thinking—”

“Sure. Poker sounds great,” he interrupted with a smile. You never thought someone so tough, with such an intimidating look, could smile like that.

Your heart skipped a beat, and a quiet giggle escaped your lips before you jumped out of your seat and headed to your bedroom to find the cards.

Meanwhile, Joel took another sip of the coffee you had made. It was delicious. His gaze wandered around your home. So warm, so inviting. Compared to his place, yours looked so much better… and cleaner. He could get used to being here. Hell, maybe even living here someday. But that was a massive leap into the future.

He shook his head, pushing the thought away, and focused on the moment. Right here. Right now. Sitting in your chair, in a beautiful kitchen that smelled like heaven, enjoying a cup of coffee while waiting for an amazing girl to play poker with.

He couldn’t be happier.

…Actually, no. If he had the chance to touch you, to feel you, he would be definitely much happier.

He couldn’t stop the thoughts. Didn’t even want to, if he was being honest. His mind wandered to you in the most sinful ways, imagining everything he’d do to you, everything you’d do to him.

He pictured his hands exploring your body, tracing every curve, memorizing every inch of your soft skin. He could almost feel the way his fingers would slide beneath your clothes, slowly peeling away each layer as his lips claimed yours in deep, lingering kisses.

At first, he’d be gentle, taking his time, making sure you felt safe, comfortable. But the second you were both bare, he wouldn’t waste another moment. His hands would be all over you, grabbing your ass, squeezing just hard enough to leave dark marks on your skin. He’d bite your neck like a damn monster, his teeth sinking in just enough to make sure everyone in Jackson knew that you were his.

Meanwhile, you were upstairs, searching for the poker cards. It took you quite a while, long enough to make you question your own memory, but in the end, you found them. A satisfied smile spread across your lips as you grabbed the box. But just as you were about to close it, something else caught your eye. Another set of cards. A completely different game.

Drunk Desires.

The sleek black packaging practically screamed its purpose without you even needing to look inside. Still, curiosity got the best of you.

You sat down on the bed and opened the package, dumping the cards onto the sheets. There were two colors, white and black. Frowning, you picked up a white one and read it.

“Drink if you’re the best kisser.” Your eyebrows furrowed. What even is this game? You flipped through the rule card, hoping to make sense of it.

“DRUNK DESIRES is a drinking game for couples who want to spice things up. The physical edition contains 50 cards: 28 dirty (black) and 22 flirty (white).”

You blinked, surprised that you even owned something like this. Where the hell did you get these? Your curiosity burned hotter, so you picked up one of the black cards. As soon as you read it, a shiver ran down your spine. Absolutely not.

You quickly shoved the cards back into the box and grabbed the poker set instead. But just as you were about to leave, your gaze drifted back to Drunk Desires.

You bit your lip, hesitating. Which one should you bring? There would definitely be consequences. Side effects. This could end very badly if you bring the black ones…

“Hey, hope you didn’t fall asleep!” you said cheerfully, walking back down the stairs to sit across from Joel, who was still holding his cup. “Not yet,” he chuckled.

“So, um… unfortunately, I couldn’t find the poker cards,” you said, watching his face fall slightly into a look of disappointment, followed by a small “tsk, aww” sound. “But I found these instead,” you added, placing the box in the center of the table.

Joel leaned in to get a better look. “Drunk Desires?” He raised an eyebrow in question.

“Yeah… you ever heard of it?” Joel shook his head, then leaned back into his chair. “Oh… well, we don’t have to play it,” you said quickly. “What is it?” He motioned to the cards, eyes locked on you.

You swallowed, a dry lump in your throat, before trying to explain without making it sound too awkward. “It’s basically truth or dare… with alcohol,” you said, a bit unsure.

Joel gave an almost imperceptible “aah” and nodded, understanding. It was, after all, just another version of truth or dare… right?

“Then let’s start,” Joel said, surprisingly eager. He placed his coffee cup down and clapped his hands together, rubbing them in anticipation.

You were momentarily stunned by his sudden excitement, but quickly snapped back to reality. You stood up and headed to the cabinet to grab something strong. Vodka was the first thing your eyes landed on, and you didn’t hesitate.

“Alright, so you pick a card and read what it says. It’ll say something like ‘drink if…’ or ‘or drink…’ well, you’ll see. Let me start, I’ll show you,” you said, trying to explain the rules as best as you could.

You pulled out a card, thankfully a white one. You read it aloud:

“Do a squat with your partner on your back, or drink.” You both laughed as you immediately grabbed a shot glass and poured in the vodka. “Come on, I think you’d do it” He teased.

You just shook your head and downed the shot, the strong liquid burning as it slid down your throat, making your face muscles tense up.

“It’s… quite strong,” you said, half-opening your eyes, glancing over at Joel, who was grinning widely. Something told him he was going to enjoy this game.

“Alright, my turn,” he said as he reached for another card from the small stack. He read the text to himself, his eyes widening, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. You immediately started to worry, regretting that you hadn’t just picked up a deck of poker cards instead.

“Take off one item of clothing…” he read aloud, still staring at the card he was gripping tightly. A shiver ran down your spine. Maybe this was a bad idea. No, definitely, this was a bad idea. A man you had just met was playing a game meant for couples, there was no way he’d want to see you again after this.

“Alright,” he said, standing up before casually slipping off his shoes, all the while keeping his eyes on you with a playful smile.

Your heart pounded as you stared at him, lips parting slightly as if you wanted to say something, but nothing came out.

When he sat back down, you were caught off guard. Not really by Joel’s bold move, but by the entire situation itself.

“Are you gonna play or just stare at me all night?” His voice pulled you out of your thoughts, and you let out a small giggle before reaching for another card.

Neither of you had any idea how much time had passed. By now, you were way too drunk for this. The game had turned out to be a lot more fun than you expected, and you definitely didn’t regret bringing it anymore.

The kitchen was filled with the smell of vodka and bursts of laughter. The neighbors were probably pissed, but you didn’t care.

Joel hadn’t laughed like this in a long time. And hearing him laugh made your heart feel warm. His voice was just so comforting.

But being drunk made your senses and desires a lot stronger. You started noticing his big hands more often, the way his muscles were tightly wrapped in his collared shirt, and your naughty imagination kicked in, making your panties wet Joel wasn’t much better. He couldn’t stop staring at you, at your body. Every time he tried to look away or focus on the cards, his eyes would automatically fall back to your breast. He blamed the alcohol for this, but deep down, he knew it wasn’t just the vodka that made his jeans feel so tight all of a sudden.

“So…” Joel pulled another black card, smiling at you before reading aloud what it said. “Do your favorite sex position for one minute or drink.” You laughed, shaking your head. At that moment, you found every bullshit ridiculously funny.

You obviously expected him to drink, so you poured some vodka into his shot glass. But instead, Joel put his card back onto the table and slide away from the table, still sitting. You froze, staring at him, full of anticipation.

“I’m gonna need you for this,” he said, patting his lap lightly. Your eyes widened, and your heart stopped. Was he for real? His dark, hunting, intense gaze gave you all the answers you needed.

You stared at him for a moment, questioning your own consciousness, was this really happening? After a few seconds, you finally stood up, painfully slowly. It wasn’t just nerves holding you back; the alcohol in your system wasn’t exactly helping you see straight either.

You took a hesitant step forward, wide-eyed as you approached Joel. He watched your every move, his gaze trailing over you like you were the most mesmerizing sight he’d ever laid eyes on.

“Only if you’re comfortable with it.”

Oh, that was the last thing he could be worried about. You had thought about this exact scenario, sitting onto his lap and riding him a million times over, despite the fact that you had just met him.

Without another word, you carefully settled onto his lap as he spread his legs, making room for you, making sure you were sitting right against his crotch.

The advantage of being this close? You could finally take him in, all of him. Every little detail of his rugged face, each strand of his graying beard, the way his thick, dark eyebrows framed those hungry, unreadable eyes. His lips, so full and tinted a soft pink, looked almost too inviting. But what burned the most was the intensity behind his stare. There was something hidden there, something much darker than just hunger or desire.

He didn’t touch you. Not yet. Not without your permission. After all, this was still just part of the game. He glanced at his watch, counting down a minute in his head. Trying, desperately, to focus on the time.

But the second you shifted, adjusting yourself just slightly in his lap, he was done for. He’d been holding himself back all night.

His gaze flicked back to yours. Eye contact, sharp and unyielding. The air around you thickened, tension pressing into every inch of space between you.

“Y-you’re not watching the time,” you whispered, breathless.

“Do you want me to?” His voice was low, rough, aged like fine whiskey. It sent a pulse straight to your core, making you tremble against him.

You shook your head, your heart pounding against your ribs. You wanted him, desperately. You wanted to rip his clothes off, feel his bare chest, his stomach, his muscles tensing as he held you close. But Joel was waiting. Patient. Even though you were making it nearly impossible, he wouldn’t be the one to break the barrier first.

But the eye contact alone made your legs weak.

You could feel him hardening beneath you, pressing right where you needed him most. The unbearable ache between your thighs grew stronger with each passing second, each torturous moment you sat on his lap. You couldn’t take it anymore. You had to make the move.

Shifting yourself against him, you rolled your hips slightly, pressing down just enough to make him groan. His eyes fluttered closed for a brief moment, and he let out a low, rich laugh, gravelly and deep. His hands still hadn’t touched you.

“Stop…”

It wasn’t a warning. It was a request. A request you knew damn well he didn’t want you to obey. He liked this. God, he liked this. But the fact that he couldn’t touch you made it so much harder.

“Or what?” you breathed out, voice teasing, dripping with need.

And then, you really moved. Rocking your hips against him, dragging yourself along his clothed cock, feeling every inch of his length press against you. This wasn’t just subtle shifting anymore.

This was dry humping.

He curled his fingers into a tight fist, his knuckles turning white as the rough denim of his jeans trapped his aching dick, holding him prisoner. Every roll of your hips, every delicious bit of friction you created, made it harder for him to keep his hands off you.

But you didn’t stop. You couldn’t stop.

The dull throb between your thighs was unbearable, the friction sending little sparks of pleasure shooting through your core. This was the only way to get some relief, to grind yourself against him, to take what you needed.

“Fuck…” Joel exhaled, his voice rough and strained as he threw his head back, staring at the ceiling like he was begging for strength. You were a real torture.

Your eagerness for him had long surpassed its limit. Without a second thought, you placed your hands against his broad chest, fingers curling slightly against the firm muscle beneath his shirt as your hips began to move faster. Your breath hitched, coming in shorter, more desperate gasps as you chased every bit of friction you could get.

And that…that was enough to break him.

Joel’s restraint snapped like a frayed thread. His large hand shot up, wrapping firmly around your throat, not squeezing, just holding, just claiming, before he pulled you down into a kiss. Sloppy, deep, starved.

You gasped against his lips, but he didn’t give you a second to recover. His mouth moved hungrily over yours, devouring, tasting. You tasted sweet. Too sweet. Like a ripe, juicy strawberry, one he couldn’t get enough of. And just like strawberries, once Joel had one taste, he needed more.

His impatience revealed itself through the deep, guttural growls rumbling in his chest. One hand remained wrapped securely around your throat, a constant reminder of his control, while the other wandered, exploring every inch of your delicate body, frustratingly still covered by fabric.

When his rough palm finally found your hip, he sqeezed it, fingers digging in with a possessive force that made you gasp, a soft, breathless whimper melting into the kiss.

Joel only smirked devilishly, his lips curving against yours before he kissed you even harder.

Your tongues tangled, battling for dominance neither of you truly wanted to win. Your spit mixed, your lips clung to each other with a desperate kind of need, like they simply couldn’t exist apart.

Your hands moved naturally, gracefully, into Joel’s soft curls, fingers threading through them like they belonged there. Every time he squeezed your hip, you retaliated with a sharp tug, drawing a deep, hungry groan from his throat.

He couldn’t get enough of you.

You were a drug, an addiction he never wanted to break free from. He needed to feel every inch of you, every detail, every imperfection that only made you more perfect in his eyes. He didn’t want to rush it, he wanted to savor you, but fuck, he had been waiting for this moment far too long.

After what felt like an eternity of heated, desperate kisses, ones that left both of you gasping, moaning into each other’s mouths, Joel finally acted.

Like a true gentleman, he let his hands slide down to your ass, gripping you firmly as he lifted you with ease. He placed you onto the table, making sure you were steady before he reluctantly pulled away, his eyes searching yours.

“May I?”

His voice was low, as he shot you those damn puppy eyes, fingers hovering just an inch from the zipper of your jeans. You barely managed to nod, breathless, your heart pounding so hard you swore he could hear it.

With a sly smirk, he lunged not only for your sore lips, but also for your jeans. He took them off in a second without any problems, making you pleasantly surprised how expertly and majestically he took off your pants and panties. His huge palms traveled to your thighs, closer and closer to your throbbing core, that was screaming to be filled.

Gently, he brushed his middle finger slightly on top of your wet folds, making you deepen the kiss and tug Joel's hair. God he loved it. It took a few more brushes, before he inserted his finger in, making you gasp in satisfaction. Joel smoothly found your neck and sucked on the sensitive spot, while adding his thumb to circle around your clit, deadly slowly.

You whined his name as you instinctively move your pelvis against his hand, craving for more friction. He noticed it quickly, so he went deeper as another finger joined to make you cum.

"You're so wet, sweetheart" he groaned against your ear, his chest moving up and down as the heat between his legs grew way too fast.

"Joel- I am gonna-" you wanted to warn him, but he knew. Damn well. Your whole body tensed, your core clenched against his fingers as your jaw dropped. You shudder, before you release yourself and cum all over his fingers. He was still curling his fingers inside you, making you overstimulated, until he carefully pulls them out, immediately sucking on them. He moaned, rolling his eyes as he tasted you.

"You taste amazing..."

He whimpered, looking deeply into your eyes. You smile, goosebumps appeared all over your body. You were a little embarrassed at how quickly Joel brought you to orgasm, but before you could process it, his head was hiding between your legs. You leaned against your elbows, checking what was he doing.

"Relax baby" his wolf, hot voice makes your core throbbing around nothingness, again. He observes you for a while, teasing you, before giving your puffy labia a gentle kiss. And another one. And another one. His needle-like prickly beard scratched and tickled you at the same time, creating a mix of sensations you couldn't name. The only thing you were sure of was, that it was fucking pleasurable.

You found his hair quickly and threw your head back, as his mouth burried fully into your vagina. It was a vicious circle, whenever you pulled his hair he would howl, sending a strong vibration through you, forcing you to tug his old hair.

In addition to obtrude his tongue inside you, he never stopped watching you. He analyzed your every little movement to find out how and what you liked the most, without even asking. He was a master at this, because all it took was a few experiments and you were back at your edge.

His tongue picked up pace and speed. His nose bumping into your clitoris without intention, as his smooth tongue flicks in and out of your core, that started closing around him, again.

"Fuckkk..." you moan, throwing your head back and tugging Joel's hair, really hard this time. It was a miracle you didn't pull some of them out. You though it's impossible, but this absolute monster, whom was still working on your core, led you to another unforgettable orgasm.

When you came back from your high, breathing hysterically, he finally let go of you and stood up. He watched you and his dick hardened even more at your sight. You were exhausted, sweat was pouring off you, your chest was moving up and down rapidly and your cheeks were all red. You were beautiful.

The best part was that Joel had gotten you into that state, just with his fingers and mouth. He couldn't wait any longer and exist with just an imagination what his cock would do to you. He had to find out himself.

He let you rest and catch your breath, while quickly taking off his belt and shirt. You were lying on the table, your legs still slightly shaking from the shock, but you loved it. You had never felt anything like this before. It was new, everything.

You already started missing Joel's lips and fingers, but behind his mischievous grin, you sensed that he was far from done with you.

The moment his shirt and pants touched the ground, revealing his full form, your mouth naturally filled with a load of saliva. Joel's godlike body was truly...divine. How can someone with these massive muscles be single?

Your eyes were scanning him from head to toe until you stopped. You swallow an imaginary saliva, as you saw his full length. It was massive. The veins, the sparkly tip, everything was just perfect. You couldn't wait to feel him, and so did your pussy.

When you were done admiring him, he leaned over and grabbed your ass, this time more roughly. He sat back down on the chair with you, the cold wood chilling his bare ass, but your wet hole was keeping him warm. It was faultless balance.

He sat you down in him, so that his penis was resting on your stomach and he hadn't entered you yet. His lips immidiatley found yours again. The kisses were rough, sloppy and messy. Joel's wrinkly fingers tangled in your long hair, while his other hand carefully unbuttoned your shirt. It takes you longer to take off your shirt, but Joel done it in a flash, even without looking. He really has magic hands.

You cooperated and together, you took off your shirt with your beautiful lace bra, which Joel fell in love with, but he admired your boobs way more. The moment he got the oportunity, he immediately cupped them and lightly squeezed them, making you gasp and jerk in place.

"You look amazing, you know that?" you shyly giggle and look down. He really knows what to say in every situation. Where has this man been for so long?

Finally, the time you've both been eagerly waiting for has arrived: Sex. Joel helped you lift yourself up and with a soft hiss, you slowly pushed him in. "That's it...good girl" Joel proudly supported you. You could clearly hear in his voice that he was already on the edge, even though you had just the tip inside you. "Yes, take it all in" he didn't rush you anywhere. His words really helped you relax and loosen up, so after a while you simply slid in.

You both exhaled loudly, your voices syncing up, helping to create a sexy atmosphere.

“Well done baby”

He let out a tired chuckle, as both of his hands found your weist, helping you to move. You were quite out of energy, from the last two orgasm, so it was obvious that Joel helped you.

At the beginning, you moved your pelvis gracefully back and forth, warming yourself up and touching his body. You still couldn't believe it and sometimes you doubted that this was reality. Joel's sighs were harmony to your ears, kicking you up and energizing you to a faster pace.

"Fuck you're-damn it" Joel's jaw clenched as he threw his head back, despite the fact he wanted to look at you and admire your satisfied face. But he couldn't take it anymore. Not with so tight pussy you had.

His breath was cracking, his grip slowly loosing its strength, but you were gaining it. You rested your hands on his muscular chest for balance and started jumping. It was exactly what you needed. At this pace, with this speed and position, you knew you would cum for the third time in a few seconds.

Joel's tip was hitting your g-spot frequently, as if you were made for each other. Your tongue knew no other words than his name, which you growled countless times.

"Princess I-" Joel tried so hard to hold back and not cum too soon, but at his age with your body, it was nearly impossible. Still, he didn't want to end this moment, so he decided to switch positions. He quickly grabbed you and placed you back on the table, thrusting into you with no mercy.

The wet sounds started to surround the whole kitchen, after a while, the whole house. Every time Joel pushed into you, you cried out, it was an endless circle, again. His nostrils were big, his brows furrowed and his pace was at the highest speed he could get. Your boobs synchronizing with Joel's pounding. He desperately tried to catch up his orgasm, until he finally did.

Just a second he was about to fill you up, he pulled out and squirted his semen all over your stomach, along with a loud husky groan. You came just the moment he pulled his dick out, so your thick sweet juice slowly poured onto the table.

You were both recovering, catching your breath. You were seeing double but you weren't sure if it was the result of third orgasm and overstimulation, or the alcohol. Probably both.

Joel's sweat was dropping on your warm body, his hands resting on the table, trying to keep his body from falling on yours. This was too much, you really woke up something wild in him.

"You did so good" when he was finally sufficiently rested, he complimented you appropriately and placed a reassuring kiss on your stomach. Of course, on a spot where his cum hadn't spilled. You smiled, your eyes keep tightly shut. You wanted to see him, but seeing him twice and then throwing up was an unwanted choice that you didn't even want to try.

"Let's get you cleaned up" he took the rest of his strength and went for the nearest napkin, using it to gently wipe your stomach.

It tickled a bit. Hearing you laugh made Joel's heart warm. He loved your smile. He...loved everything about you. You were his lost muse, his last hope, and you finally showed up. He definitely didn't want to lose you. At this moment, you were his and only his, and he wouldn't let anyone touch you.

You have regained comfort and protection, a personal bodyguard who will love you for everything you do. And of course, who will give you three orgasms in a row every night.

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