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creativity-is-rebellion · 5 years ago

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Top 10 Favourite Movies I Have Seen (So Far)

How to Make an American Quilt (1994)

I’m not sure exactly why, but I have always had a thing for intergenerational movies that go back and forth in time, which I think that this movie does superbly. You get to know each of the character’s backstories, and it is also a coming-of-age film where the main protagonist must choose a path and be happy with the one she goes down. This was a film I would watch again and again as a teenager when I was sad (movie marathons were always the cure for my blues back then). More recently, there are other reasons why this movie appeals to me; I can relate to Finn’s thesis-writing (I know it’s frustrating and easy to distract yourself from), and I can also relate with her dilemma in choosing what kind of future she will have. Also, Winona Ryder can do no wrong. Winona forever.

The Joy Luck Club (1993)

Another intergenerational film, I think it does a great job of juxtaposing the difference between parents who immigrate to another country and their children who do not really understand the sacrifices they have made to actually get there, which can cause rifts and divides. It does this specifically with the Chinese culture in mind, which is fascinating in its own right, and quite different to the US, which is where they immigrate to. The daughters who try to understand their mothers are able to bridge the divide when they are able to empathise with where their parents are coming from, by the parents telling them tales of their origins. My favourite character is hands-down Ying-Ying St. Clair, whose backstory is definitely the most tragic. In China, Ying-Ying was happily married to Lin-Xiao (Russell Wong) with a baby boy in China until Lin-Xiao abuses her and abandons her for an opera singer. Overwhelmed by her depression, Ying-Ying begins to dissociate and accidentally drowns their baby son in the bathtub during one of these episodes, which haunts her ever afterwards. Years later, she has emigrated to America and suffers from trauma of her past, worrying her new family, including her daughter Lena. When she is able to get Lena find her voice and to leave her own abusive husband, Harold. I have nothing but love for this film, which breathes life into Amy Tan’s equally beautiful novel. This film adaptation does the novel proud; It’s well-acted, well-told, and simply just heart-warming.

Sinister (2008)

I love myself a good horror movie, and Sinister flips the script by starting out as a crime mystery before going bananas and introducing Mr. Boogie (or Bughuul), a pagan demon who manipulates the lives of children, having them kill their families, until he can consume the child's soul. Ethan Hawke, who both directs and stars in this film, does a phenomenal acting job as washed-up crime author Ellison Oswalt, who moves his family into one of the homes which was the scene of one of the ‘crimes’, where a whole family has been massacred and one child is missing. It isn’t long until he finds a bunch of 8mm tapes in the attic, which represent the equivalent of snuff films, detailing previous family massacres occurring elsewhere. Seriously, some of these 8mm tapes are both difficult but strangely thrilling to watch, due to their haunting quality. It takes him a while before he becomes aware of Bughuul, who he discovers hiding in the corner of one of the tapes, and who he is able to get to know about with the help of a rookie cop and a professor. The ending is also a delicious twist, and indicates the inevitability of not being able to escape evil. Seriously, it’s a must-watch, as it breathes rare new life into the tired horror genre.

Insidious, Chapter One (2010)

Another worthy 21st century horror addition, the Insidious franchise (especially the first film) delivers some great twists, and creates a rich universe way beyond any ordinary haunted house or child-plagued-by-demon trope, by introducing some genuinely scary characters (The Lipstick Demon, Doll Girl, and the Bride in Black, anyone?!), and also introducing The Further, a dark and timeless astral world filled with tortured dead souls and nightmarish spirits. I love the twist that the end of this movie delivers, and also the appropriate jump-scares throughout. It is yet another horror movie that breathes life into a somewhat tired genre. 10/10, I highly recommend this movie, even if The Lipstick Demon looks kinda like Darth Maul, lol.

Reality Bites (1994)

Although it’s kind of aged badly, due to advancing technology, this movie was one of the first to introduce the idea of reality television, whilst also capturing the zeitgeist of Generation X, with it’s rather nihilist message about life after college, and the trials and tribulations of growing up. Some of the characters (especially Lelaina and Troy) are self-indulgent, immature, intellectually snobby and navel-gazing, but you root for Lelaina to succeed because she is played with enough sympathy by the amazing and incomparable Winona Ryder that we believe she deserves better. This is one of the reasons I hate that she ends up with Troy, even if he is the broody bad boy we are all expected to swoon over. Seriously, he treats Lelaina so badly that I just want to punch him in the face. It also has some great side characters, like Vicky, who works at The Gap, but is scared to find a real job, and Sammy, who is gay and afraid that he may have HIV. It is also relatable for me as a Millenial who graduated from university when the Global Financial Crisis (GFC) hit, making it complicated to find a good job, mirroring the recession that these characters graduated into. I love that it talks about pivotal Generation X issues, as well as universal issues that encompass growing up and moving into adulthood. Also, again, Winona forever.

Candyman (1992)

Candyman is a horror film that subverts horror movie expectations whilst still managing to deliver some great scares. Being set in the long-gone notorious Chicago housing projects Cabrini Green, a name synonymous with vice, violence and murder, and a place which instils non-supernatural horror in an individual all on its own, tells the story of thesis student Helen, who is researching urban legends, and through her participants, she learns the story of Candyman, a vengeful rendition of the classic Bloody Mary, who will split you from groin to gullet with his hook for a hand if you say his name five times in the mirror.

The people who recount this legend go on to recount a notorious murder that has taken place recently in Cabrini Green which has been attributed to Candyman, and Helen chooses to investigate the claim. Helen rationalises that the residents of Cabrini Green use the legend of Candy Man to cope with their stressful daily lives. Before visiting Cabrini Green, Helen and her research associate decide to test the theory by saying ‘Candy Man’ five times in a mirror, but nothing happens, at least not yet. In real life, the murder rate in Cabrini Green peaked in 1992, the same year that Candy Man was made. Candy Man himself (played with great aplomb by the legendary Tony Todd) doesn’t show up until around 44 minutes into the movie, but when he does, he steals the show with his dangerous charisma.

In total, Candy Man subverts 3 horror rules: Number one, that you need to have a high body count to keep audiences engaged. By doing so, it stretches out the tension for as long as it can. Number two, there is a Black antagonist. There were some issues addressed by Black critics that this depiction played into some racist stereotypes, such as the idea that Black people need a White saviour, that Black people are especially superstitious, and that Black men prefer to pursue White women. But one could say that Candy Man is more a depiction of the White fears associated with Black poverty, and specifically, White Liberal fears that Black poverty can’t be helped, despite their best efforts. Helen doesn’t mean any harm (some may even call her an ally), yet she dies anyway.

By making the antagonist Black, the film becomes about so much more than just visceral horror, it is about societal, racial and historical horror as well, albeit told from a White perspective. It also plays into the fear that Black people, through no fault of their own, could be killed for no reason at all but panicky neighbours. Finally, number three, this film is more sad than scary; sadness tends to be the most common negative emotion that I experience, so I am drawn to movies that have something to say about it. The only reason Candy Man gives for wanting to kill Helen is that she demystified him, which seems pretty petty and vindictive. She is also supposed to resemble his long-lost love that got him killed in the first place. When Candy Man kills the psychiatrist in the movie, it is literally the only on-screen proof we have that Candy Man isn’t just a figment of Helen’s imagination. Candy Man, like my most favourite horror film, The Shining, begs the question: Are there really supernatural elements at play here, or is the main character simply going insane? Phew, this was more than I planned to write, but I guess this film is complex enough to warrant it. See it for yourself.

Final Destination (2000)

As time wore on, the Final Destination franchise became more well-known for its gruesome deaths (and tired plot) than anything else, but the first addition was a fresh take on the inescapability of death, and the vengance Death Itself may take if you screw with his Design. The first 15 minutes of the film are truly thrilling through the main character Alex’s premonition, and the wait after the gang have been kicked off the airline for the plane to blow up without them on board. Seriously, that scene gave me aerophobia more than any Air Crash Investigation episode. What follows are some truly twisted, macabre domino-like deaths that prove that Death has a wicked, dark sense of humour. That every character in this franchise dies eventually is kind of disappointing, and definitely places Death in this franchise as possibly the most diabolical villain in all of the horror genre (move over, Jason and Michael and Freddy). The mysterious undertaker played with delightful maliciousness again by Tony Todd adds to the mystery of understanding Death’s Design. and the reality that no matter what the survivors do, Death will eventually come for them, really adds to the overall hopelessness and nihilism of the whole situation. The way that the last film of the Final Destination franchise, which is really a prequel to the first film, rounded out the franchise really well, and provided a twist as good as the original film was epic. If you are going to watch any of the films in this franchise, I cannot recommend the first and last film enough.

Now and Then (1996)

I love this film more for the cheesy, feel-good memories of my childhood it gives me. Christina Ricci is also one of my all-time favourite actresses (I absolutely loved her as Wednesday Addams), which just bolsters this movie in my eyes. Thora Birch does a good job as well. But seriously, I can pop this movie on any time and it’ll just make me instantly happy for a simpler era. Even if I wasn’t born in the 60′s or 70′s, there is a lot to relate to about bridging the gaps between childhood and the inevitable teen cross-over. I mean, who didn’t have seances in graveyards with their friends as a 12-year-old girl? No-one?! Just me then. OK. Ahem. I think my favourite character was hands-down Gabby Hoffman’s Sam, who is trying to cope with her parent’s divorce in a town and time when divorce is unheard of. I like that her grown-up character played by Demi Moore is a successful writer, and is also the narrator of the entire movie. If you want to watch a truly feel-good movie that promotes feminist ideals, this movie is for you.

IT: Chapter One (2017)

Since I watched the 1990 TV miniseries in 1992 at the tender age of 7 (my parents never monitored what I watched - which sometimes led to some gnarly nightmares), I have been waiting for a worthy remake. I, like most of the aficionados that watched the miniseries, loved Tim Curry’s rendition of the demonic entity of IT, but weren’t quite happy about the spider ending. If you’ve seen it, you know what I mean. You may be asking why I haven’t included Chapter Two that came out this year (2019), and the reason is, despite Bill Hader’s wonderful performance as the grown-up Ritchie, a cameo by Stephen King himself, and more screen-time for Bill Skarsgaard’s scary clown, the ending here was also disappointing. IT’s true form just doesn’t seem to translate well onto screen. It was adequate. Meh. Anywho.

IT Chapter One, however, is awesome. Instead of jumping back-and-forth in time like both the mini-series and the book did, it focuses on the well-acted ‘Loser’s Club’ as kids, and is truly scary like this story should be. The bully Henry Bowers is truly sociopathic, and Bill Skarsgaard as IT truly nails the fact that IT is so much more than just a killer clown. The death scene with Georgie at the beginning of the film is quite subversive and daring, as it actually shows you the death of a child in all its gory detail. My verdict? Watch the first with gusto, but do not expect anything great from Part Two. Part Two has to exist for continuity, but the first film outshines the second installment in every way possible.

Lady Bird (2017)

For an Indie sleeper film, this story is fantastic as both a coming-of-age film and a depiction of separating from your parents and becoming your own person. Ladybird’s mum is overprotective, and Ladybird needs to break free, whilst also trying not to cause a permanent rift. She’s a different kind of gal, sensitive, intelligent, artistic, and so not meant for a dead-end small town. Her transition toward independence is extremely relatable to me, as I grew up with an over-bearing, interfering mother myself. Also, it’s set in 2002, the year I graduated, with adds to my feelings of nostalgia. It’s the relatablity of Ladybird that makes it so re-watchable to me. I grew up in a dead-end town, was creative and different to my peers, and went to a fancy private school that I didn’t fit into as well. So Ladybird is a cinematic delight as you see her progress to something more hopeful in the future. A must-watch.

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luckyspike · 5 years ago

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No neighborhood is free of sin - a good omens fanfiction

Link to AO3 if you prefer to read there. Kudos appreciated!

Nextdoor.com had been Crowley’s idea. Crowley had always liked neighborhoods - there were just so many opportunities for humans to enrage one another when they lived in such close proximity and had to pretend to be nice. In the early days, before the internet, Crowley had reveled in town hall meetings, neighborhood watch councils, and local book clubs. He’d embedded himself in his Mayfair neighborhood, sowing dissent and discord among the community. For years, he had been the quiet voice in someone’s ear - oh, you know you probably would have gotten that promotion at work if you hadn’t been so tired, eh? Shame about the neighbors playing the music so loudly the night before - the stolen package off someone’s doorstep - of course it was those dirty millenials next door that took little Billy’s Christmas present - or the upturned rubbish bin in someone’s front garden. He’d been stray cats and dropped hardware from a neighbor’s DIY project that just happened to puncture someone’s tire on the way to work. He was footballs breaking through windows, and screaming babies next door during a romantic night in. His Mayfair neighborhood was among the most contentious in London, and walking into the fog of evil at the end of a long day was like a balm to his burned and aching (and barely-existent) soul.

But nextdoor.com, oh, what a stroke of brilliance that had been. He took the idea from the humans, of course, with their clever Facebook idea and MySpace and social media. But the concept of a neighborhood media site followed so smoothly, that aside from a few whispered words into the ears of some young programmers in America*, he’d barely had to lift a finger. Nextdoor.com had burst to life, and since then, Crowley had fallen in love.

[*Or rather, carefully-typed “thought experiments” sent via email from one of his multitudinous email addresses that, typically, appeared to belong to very wealthy tech investorsI.]

His favorite thing was, of course, the people who always had to have the last word in an argument. Pride, after all, was a sin anyway, and online media really provided him with a shining chance to provide one-on-one temptation to multiple people at a time by way of arguing with them on the internet, one of his favorite activities.

He was up late tonight doing just that. He’d had a lovely dinner with Aziraphale - an Ethiopian restaurant that Aziraphale had been wanting to explore, with food so spicy that even Crowley had a few bites - and come home, unwinding by logging into one of his several accounts and promptly starting to complain about the barking dog one building over.

‘listen its my bloody dog and hes allowed to bark in my flat if he wants to’ replied Crowley’s victim for tonight - based on his profile picture, he appeared to be a young solicitor with political aspirations in the future. Crowley figured he might as well start working on the young man now in the early days - no sense in putting his inevitable hellish corruption off when it would be so easy to do now.

‘i’ll have you know that i have a very important job,’ Crowley started his reply, considering where to go from that point. ‘i work 90 hours per week. i make more money in five minutes than you make in a year. shut your dog up or i’ll sue.’ And, send reply. And wait. He sat back in his chair, and savored a mouthful of wine.

Yes, this was proper demonic work. Fuck Hastur and Ligur, fuck craftsmanship, this was easy - he was in pajamas and drinking wine, for someone’s sake - and it was fun. His phone binged with a reply notification.

‘good luck suing, knobhead, i’m a solicitor and i’ve been in numerous trials - too numerous to count. feel free to try to take me up in court, i look forward to the day i get to let my dog bark straight in your smug face, whoever you are, Jacob.’ Ah yes, Jacob Coppersmith, one of Crowley’s favorite online aliases. The demon smiled and crafted his reply.

‘yeah I bet you are, law lad. shut your fucking dog up or i’ll come do it for you. i’ve tracked your IP address, i know where you live.’ Crowley did not elaborate further. In reality, he rather disliked the thought of harming dogs - they were true innocents, unless they were hellhounds or chihuahuas, and even he felt profane trying to hurt them - but his reply would hopefully get a rise out of the young solicitor. He waited.

And waited rather longer. He refilled his wine glass, and paced around his office, and still his phone did not alert to a new message. He refreshed the page, nothing. He had nearly given it up for the night - there would be another opportunity in the future, there always was - when his level of Amber’s Airline was interrupted by a push notification from the neighborhood app. He abandoned the level immediately to read it.

‘don’t call me law lad you fucking knob’

Crowley replied quickly. Quickly, quickly, it was late, the humans would be going to sleep soon ... hurry, hurry. He narrated the entire reply into his voice-to-text feature** and, forgoing a quick proof-read, sent it.

‘ok solicitor shithead’

[** Snake eyes were wonderful for menacing humans and striking the fear of the Devil into their hearts. They were not so wonderful for reading, typing, sewing, or anything else that required any significant level of visual acuity at all, really.]

The reply came quickly: ‘fucking delete this you fucking dick!!! what gives you the right!’ Crowley cackled out loud. Yes, yes this was the end goal. He could practically taste the low-grade evil, smooth like a finely-aged wine, sliding over his tongue. He raised his phone to his mouth and dictated: ‘no law lad’

There was not a reply immediately. But quickly - as soon as the app indicated he’d posted - he heard a frustrated scream, followed by alarmed barking. And then a door slammed open.

“I know you live around here, Jacob!” someone - the solicitor, oh, Crowley, could have hissed it was so wonderful - shouted into the late-night air. “I know you can hear me! You hear me? I won’t shut up! My dog has every right to bark in my home! I won’t tell him to stop! Log off you idiot! Log off and leave me alone!”

Crowley heard the door slam again a moment later, and he slid lower in his seat, taking a self-satisfied sip of his wine. Oh, yes, that was the stuff. He weighed the options, and then smiled gently, dictating his reply and then, after an aggressive two seconds of squinting to ensure the construction and grammar were to his liking, he sent: ‘who the fuck is scraeming “LOG OFF” at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off’.

The enraged scream that followed gave him such a warm tingle of infernal rage that he very much doubted he’d be able to sleep that night. But it was alright, he reasoned, as the screaming continued from another flat nearby, and then was met with shouts of ‘shut up!’ and ‘people are trying to sleep here!’ Ah, yes, the beauty of the internet. The true stroke of genius of nextdoor.com. Three angry people, three weakened souls.

Crowley sighed, satisfied with a terrible job well-done, and waved the TV on, although he wasn’t paying attention. He was thinking, rather pleasantly, about fireworks. Yes ... perhaps tomorrow. Plenty of fireworks. At two AM, yes. He would time a complaint post for the neighborhood too, just to get the ball rolling. He finished his drink, and refilled the glass, and settled back as the sound of a cricket match washed over him, entertaining thoughts of fireworks and burnt garbage and very angry neighbors.

#good omens #crowley is an internet troll #dril quotes #side eye reference to marine meme #the glorious crackfic wednesday #i wish i didn't enjoy fanfiction so much #anthony j crowley #anthony janthony crowley

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sadb0ysims · 6 years ago

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THE SIMSELF TAG featuring yours truly and her wonderful assistant, antoinette

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? mia and thats all ur getting out of me

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? oh god we have some embarrassing ones but jordan and jords are nicknames of mine and u might be able to guess the other obvious ones dgjhfdj

3. BIRTHDAY? february 25th babey

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? OH uhh princess diaries by meg cabot probably

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? not to sure about those funky alien dudes but ehh yeah i believe in ghosts

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? i’d say michael morpurgo but that’s probably because his books were shoved down my throat at an early age DKJDFGJ if you can have a favourite poet i can answer this: atticus and lang leav

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? radio one probably!!

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? the purple one. like, starburst? purple. wine gum? purple

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? being the millenial i am probably Uh...li...litty

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? OH Hm i’d say ocean eyes by billie eilish

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? Hm!

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? copycat by billie eilish!!

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? LIE TO ME IS THE UNDER APPRECIATED SERIES OF THE CENTURY

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? oh uhh i don’t watch films a lot and especially not if i’m feeling?? sad

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? never heard of them

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? OH jesus lets say. being forgotten or making no difference in the world

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? oh Jesus not a lot of these GJFDH over the past mm month or so i’d say i’ve grown a lot as a person in the fact that i have more respect for myself than i used to, and if i have an opinion on something i evaluate it and decide Do People Really Need To Know? (DPRNTK)

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? EASY my weird. defense mechanism thing. i’ve gotten a bit better in my opinion but the reason i’m usually in so much trouble is because as soon as i’m attacked, i act with anger? its some weird defensive wall that i put up and regret later because i’m not really thinking like a rational person. i just see that i’m being attacked and my first thought is to fight back

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? OH cats because i haven’t had one in ages. one of our cats was run over and the other was taken by our neighbours and now he doesn’t even remember us or respond to his name so thats really fun

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? SUMMER because my skin turns olive in the summer and right now. a bitch is pale! also school is so much nicer in the summer... the whole yeargroup feels like much more of a community because we all sit together outside n it’s just overall very fun and makes me nostalgic of year 7

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? bitch u really thought-

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? still in it but. because of a lot of things i was forced to grow up very fast. something i miss is having everyone in the house (my siblings are both a lot older than me so they’re never around) and not having to worry about fitting into certain stereotypes or WASHING MY HAIR!!!!!

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? oh god ok so i have a “best friend” but we don’t. agree on a lot of things and she takes everything i say 100% seriously so even though we’re not close i’d consider this group of boys from my school my best friends. and online ofc i have Many Many good friends which i would name but i dont wanna leave anyone out bc i talk to A Lot of people DGHDFJ

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue blue blue

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? blonde babey

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my brother

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? would say myself but sometimes i’m not even sure i can trust HER

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? i think about people loads because im a lonely romantic so. i’d say Love Interest and i think about myself a whole lot too like who does this bitch think she is

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? all the time i’m looking forward to things bc. not a whole lot happens in my life so if Love Interest looks at me a certain way i’ll look forward to going to school for the next couple weeks FDJGHFDJ

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? i think of the future way too much. she’s a dreamer

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? oh god uhhh i used to cry at in the night garden all the time when it ended bc i hated that iggle piggle sailed away on his boat DJHFD it was probably still my favourite though

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? i had a best friend who moved away after year seven and i feel like i could but. who knows we haven’t seen each other for years

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? sigh i think so like does it count if my tarot deck says not to do something because. i trust those tarot bitches with all my soul if i have one

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? don’t like the dark, i have a fear of holes, can’t sleep without the door open, can’t sleep when i can see in a mirror (fun fact theres a mirror in my room but it’s on a shelf which i can barely see at night like. i can see a glimpse. but knowing it’s there freaks me out so its flipped and has something covering it)

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? oh ummmm in front i guess because 1. i look horrible in photos other people have taken of me 2. technically being in front of it. you can still take selfies and 3. the people i know take pictures from really weird angles

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? we love a bit of vidya games but i love reading poetry because i’m a whore and also i like singing but that doesn’t mean im good at it!

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? UHHH god i really dont read uhh probably lullabies by lang leav

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? romeo and juliet (the blessed one featuring young leo dicaprio)

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i can play the guitar, the recorder, a bit of the piano

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? GIRAFFES it’s really sad that they’re now endangered. if ur talkin domestic pets i love guinea pigs, cats and (i’ve never had them but rats

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? don’t. this’ll turn into a follow forever and i won’t get any clout bc it’s in such a long post !

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? OH hm. i thought as hard as my tiny brain could about this and i think teleportation would be interesting but if we can choose ANY superpower. is magic one? that’d b pretty wack

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? when i’m walking to school at half 7 in the morning and no one’s there and i can hear the trees lining the field rustling in the wind in the distance. it was rainng this morning and even though my whole ass was exposed from the wind and i was soaking it was really peaceful. also there’s a red kite that’s resident to our school field and i love to stand there in the morning and watch it sometimes

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? feeling included DGJHDJ doesn’t happen a whole lot

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i play a lot of sports because i’m in school obviously but i’m really good at rugby bc a bitch is Tactical and Nimble. i love hockey and badminton and stuff though

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? i LOVE smoothies and milkshakes and everything ugh. i’d be bold enough to say i love drinks more than i love food. like apple juice orange juice MIXED juice smoothies BROWN BAG MILKSHAKES! BITCH! THE STRAWBERRY ONE IS SO GOOD UGH

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? oh jesus um. 4 years ago

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? fuck yeah brother

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? UGH A LOT OF THINGS like. people biting their nails. people tapping their foot on my chair. people not listening when you’re explaining something THEY needed help with. tapping a pen on a desk or clicking it on and off

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? nop

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? my mother is a vegetarian so i eat a lot of vegetarian meals. sometimes i get really put off meat but like. a bitch is 13 and doesn’t pay for her own meals so she doesn’t really get a say in what she eats

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? always wanted to entertain people and be nationally recognised. take that as u will

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? TOO MANY let’s go... the arcana so i can marry the 1 (one) love of my life dr julian ilyushka devorak... chill in the hanged man’s realm...

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? i don’t worry about a lot not gonna lie to u

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? cheers i’ll drink to that broe

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? if the screeching sound i make to a slight tune counts as singing then. yes

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? not illegally but i’ve had days off sick where i wasn’t sick bc i couldn’t be asked

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? alone

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? somewhere safe

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yeah i have a dog and a cat but as i said m cat got taken by my neighbours and doesn’t even remember us so sjfhdjg

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? night owl but if i’m rested well enough i love being up early

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsets

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? no a bitch is 13

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? probably headphones bc i can’t lose them and the sound quality is better but i’m not a MONSTER so earphones. also headphones automatically make old people scoff at u and hate u more

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? nah

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? whatever’s poetic enough to be On Brand

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? don’t really have one

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? no

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? the holier than thou attitude Often showcased on simblr by some. familiar faces

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? it doesn’t really make a difference

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? computer science (mainly for the people because right now we’re just making fucking. powerpoints) or english bc of the people again

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? yee a brother and a sister

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? christmas presents and some perfume & a purse for me

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′4

75. CAN YOU COOK? not well

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? attention DFJHGSDJ uhh being kind to people who deserve it and hard work paying off

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? patronization, people who believe their opinion is the only opinion and people who cause minor inconveniences for you for no reason

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? more female probably but i prefer guys

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? i say bisexual but no one’s ever been close enough to let me find out

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? party in the UK

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? kyla rosymiel

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? UHHH i really can’t remember i know me and kyla were talking about something and i started crying JGFHDGJ

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? oh god umm probably smii7y but i also really like all his friends like. kryoz etc

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? when i look good FJDHSJD

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? would say tumblr but she’s gone ! right now i’m really feeling zepeto bc It May Be Tracking Me but it lets me take pics with all my online friends and i have some sort of weird following on there SDFHSDJ

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? i don’t think i’ll ever be able to fully confide in them, i really like my dad but there’s elements of him that don’t really float my boat. same with my mum but i’m less close with her

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? probably australian or. is it swiss? might be swiss.

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? france and ofc america

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 4

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? with like 2 things skdghsd

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? not really but i believe in a higher power of some sort and a life after death. i believe there’s something out there that is listening but i prefer to think it’s the stars

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? i find the ocean really ineresting but man will always romanticise space

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? im a 13 year old white girl how ruthless can i be

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? sesame seeds

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? nop but everyone else in my family can

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nope

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? whenever i realise

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? i lie all the time but i am. SO terrible ASJDFHJ i would love to lie less but it’s so easy to slip into one

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? gryffindor

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? hell yea brother

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? kyla put ambivert so i looked that up and. yeah

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? did when i was younger but i guess tumblr is somewhat of a personal diary

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? depends

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? turn it in most likely

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? “yes, but you should never forget about their past” thanks kyla

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? only monsters aren’t

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? nope

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? i have my ears pierced. WILD i know

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? UGH FUCK DR JULIAN ILYUSHKA DEVORAK!! it’d be illegal for him to marry anyone but me though

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yep! i have a tattoo on my back. i plan on getting a lot more tattoos in the future, but i don’t want anymore in the near future

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? being outspoken and not. watching things pass by

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? of course

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? nopee

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? oof i really don’t know because of what’s happened to me i don’t know if i could knowing i could never protect them from everything. idk pregnancy seems very nice but once the kid gets annoying thats It for me

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? “i think everyone is smart in their own way” thanks kyla

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? i started laughing once in drama and i pissed myself a lil and i was like ehh thats fine i do that all the time and then i didnt stop pissing and someone was like ‘whats that wet on the floor? they were like mia have u pissed urslef i was like nOSDJF so i had to ask the teacher to leave. u coiuld see the piss down my leg

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? have u SEEN these bags. she’s seen hell

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOUR CLOTHES? like varying tones of beige and then grey/black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? of course

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? oh uhhh i feel like maybe when i was younger but i’ve. repressed that memory if i have it

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 13 years young

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? oh jesus something poetic and by atticus probably let’s see

after spending more time searching for a quote than i did on literally this whole tag, i decided on this. and then i realised. it will always be ‘YOU ARE A SAD BOY’

#the last one was abt food #but i thought the quote was a nice finishing touch #sadb0ysims #ask game #?

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readysetwellness-blog · 7 years ago

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Mental Health: What everyone is talking about… and no one is talking about

Mental health is a hot topic lately, and it seems as though more and more people are beginning to understand what mental health and self-care is, although many are still undereducated about these topics. Mental health is a touchy subject that can be taken advantage of very easily, with people claiming to have anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues and using them as excuses or, as we see a lot with millenials and the younger generation, attention. It has become increasingly popular among young people to self diagnose themselves with mental health conditions and display these on social media (particularly twitter) in an effort to increase sympathy likes and retweets. Phrases like “oh I’m so OCD about my bed being made” or “Watching that boy do tricks on his bike gives me anxiety” are so normalized, and we forget that these are actual conditions that can be extremely debilitating.

I know what you’re thinking: “So how am I supposed to know the difference between someone who really has a mental health condition and someone who is self diagnosed or just claims to have it?”

Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer to this. No one does. Mental health is such a touchy subject, and with anxiety, depression, and attention deficit disorders on the rise, it is likely that many people claiming to have these disorders have a clinical diagnosis to back it up. On another note, who is going to call someone out for “faking” a mental health disease? Not me. And probably not you. But what we can do is show compassion, and understand that everyone that we cross paths with is fighting a battle that we know nothing about.

Although not every person experiences symptoms of chronic mental illness, everyone goes through times of great happiness, sorrow, grief, stress, and pain. It is for these reasons that it is important to understand the importance of self-care.

What is self-care you might ask? Well, its important to know what self-care is as well as what it isn’t. Self-care, in a few words, is an action one takes to benefit their own mental, physical, or emotional health. This will vary among individuals, but there are many different forms of self-care. For some, it could be refusing the chocolate cake at the office birthday party because they’re trying to stick to their new meal plan. For others, it might be indulging in the chocolate cake because it is their birthday (or they have created some other reason in their minds that justifies cake). Whatever it is, the most important thing to remember regarding your personal self-care is that you have to make sure whatever self-care action you decide to take is best for YOU. What works for some people might not work for others, and what works for you may not work for your friends.

So while this idea of self-care is a nice one, it is not something that is completed by eating a cookie and taking a bubble bath. The idea of self-care penetrates much deeper than cheering yourself up after a bad day, or buying some new face wash. Self-care is about the way you live your life, and the effect that it has on your health. Everything that you experience in a day whether it is mental, emotional or physical has an effect on your health, which can be positive, negative, or neutral. Failing to take care of ourselves and recognize the stressors in our life is what leads to lasting, chronic conditions like depression, anxiety, OCD, and other mental health issues. Self-care is about tapping into your own mind and body, making sense of the way you are feeling, and taking action to right any wrongs that may be present.

We move so quickly through life that sometimes we forget to stop and evaluate how we are feeling, why we feel the way that we do, and what we can do to change it.

So all of that being said, where should you start on your self-care journey? Here are 5 tips to start integrating mindfulness and self-care into your daily life.

1. Start keeping inventory on your feelings

Take stock of how you feel. You don’t have to go so deep as to why you are feeling the way you are, but just recognize what emotion you are experiencing. This will assist you in making decisions. For example, if you are under a lot of stress in your personal life and you recognize that, it might help you realize you should hold off one more day on a major work decision. Or on the other hand, if you just got the best news of your life and are extremely excited, you might want to say yes, yes and yes to all of the plans your friends have made for this upcoming weekend to celebrate, but you should maybe only go out one night because you have a lot to get done before Monday. This goes along with the saying “never act out of anger”, and “sleep on it”. Recognizing and categorizing (stress, anger, sadness) the emotions you are feeling is the first step to taking action against any negative effects these feelings may have.

2. Isolate yourself for 10 minutes a day

This is the time to reflect on your day and understand why these emotions came over you. You may think that you were stressed all day at work because your boss sent out a memo in the morning that bothered you, when really it was coming from an argument with your significant other that occurred the day before. This is the time to identify the emotional triggers in your life— defined as “a response to a person, situation, event, dialogue, reading, film, or other content providing entity, that provokes a strong emotional reaction. This will help you avoid (or at least regulate your exposure to) the things that are causing emotions like stress, sadness, and grief. For example, if you have a family member in the armed forces, maybe you should not indulge in the overwhelming amount of military homecoming videos available on YouTube. On the contrary, for someone who recently had a family member or someone close to them return from the military, these videos may be one of their favorite things to watch. This time is about identifying YOUR emotional triggers and developing ways to manage them.

3. Figure out what makes YOU feel good.

This one is all about discovering the little things that you enjoy. Maybe its buying a new book and setting apart a little bit of time each day to read. Maybe its spending time with your “outside-of-work friends”, or maybe even scheduling a date night with your S/O (or your best friend if you’re still on the market). The point is, look for the little things in your life that make you happy, and do those things for yourself more. They don’t have to cost money, and they certainly do not have to involve others. Remember: this is all about YOU and the things that make YOU feel good.

4. Watch what you say

We need to change the way we talk about mental health. Try to remove the words OCD, depression/depressed, and anxiety from your vocabulary, and instead use some other words to describe how you feel. So instead of saying “Ugh im so depressed”, “That gives me anxiety” or “I’m super OCD about that”, try expanding your vocabulary with words like this:

Instead of saying depressed, say:

- Sad

- Unhappy

- Despondent

- Down

- Low

- Bummed out

Instead of saying anxiety, say:

- apprehension

- angst

- jitters

- nervousness

- concern

- heebie-jeebies (my personal favorite)

Instead of saying OCD, say:

- Particular

- Precise

- Detail oriented

- Anal retentive

- Fusspot

- Nit-picker

5. Talk to a medical professional

Finally, if you are experiencing severe symptoms or symptoms that you feel are beyond your control, please do not hesitate to reach out to a healthcare professional near you to seek support. Sometimes mental health issues are out of our hands, and self-care is not enough. Great strength is found in reaching out to someone for help, and the most beneficial person is going to be a mental health counselor, psychiatrist, or psychologist. If you’re not comfortable reaching out to a professional, try talking to a friend or two about how you have been feeling, as talking about it and having two heads trying to make sense of your feelings can be helpful.

Mental health is very touchy, tricky, and for the most part, taboo. I hope that this post has provided you with—if nothing else— a little bit of insight on the growing challenge that many people are facing today. Even if you are not experiencing any great stressors in your life, try out these tips, as there is always room for improvement!

Thank you so much for reading, and as always, happy living J

P.S. Check out this link below for a short youtube video about OCD!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsOzNavYF6wse

#MKT400UWL

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rdgpcg · 5 years ago

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“Congratulations! You have been selected from the waiting list for the following race and event. Phunt: 25K on 1/18/2020″ I stared at my e-mail. This was unexpected. I had been pretty far down the waitlist and, given that it was January 1st I had sort of given up hope of getting in. I was fearful that they might change their mind so without thinking I quickly clicked through the registration process signing all waivers (no refunds, possibility of death, etc.) and sent my $40.00 entry fee on its way to the Trail Dawgs. The $40 fee is one of the things that makes Phunt worth doing. Nobody puts on races so inexpensively these days. Nobody. Especially not races that are this much fun . . er . . Phun.

I smiled to myself as I got my confirmation back from Runsignup but then reality smacked me in the face like a cold, wet, sandy towel and the smile gave way to a bit of panic. Phunt was less than three weeks away and I hadn’t done a double digit run since July. I also hadn’t been on a trail in over a year. In fact, I didn’t even own viable trail shoes anymore. Oh well it’s only 15.5 miles. Other than being undertrained, overweight, and not really having a good pair of trail shoes what could go wrong?

There is only so much running one can squeeze in to three weeks and only so much actual training one’s body can absorb in that time. At least the trail shoes were an easy fix. I was less than happy with my old Saucony shoes so reached out to my running friends for advice. Ultimately, I wound up visiting Terry Kelly’s “All Kinds of Fast” in Phoenixville. Terry hooked me up with a pair of New Balance Fresh Foam Hierros. Long name, great shoe.

My new trail ride.

The footwear problem was solved. As far as training there wasn’t much I could do. I’ve been running 25-30 miles per week, biking another 20-40, and swimming a couple miles so cardiovascularly-speaking I would be fine. But distance running in general and trail distance running in particular requires some degree of preparedness that can only be attained by wearing rubber off the soles of your shoes and there simply wasn’t time. I did however execute a few short trail runs near home on the Neversink Mountain preserve.

I’m gonna take a side trip here for a second. We’ll get back to Phunt in a moment. How have I lived here 30 years and haven’t really explored Neversink Mountain!? It is literally 5 minutes from my front door and filled with awesome trails, and beautiful woods. You can bet that will change going forward.

Okay back to Phunt. I had done Phunt once before. It was my first exposure to trail racing and it was a blast or at least, I remember it being a blast. There is a thing called the halo effect commonly applied to women and childbirth. Basically, women remember the pain of childbirth as being less severe than it actually was. While science does not specifically support the existence of this phenomenon, it is easy to believe or else everyone would be an only-child. I think the halo effect must apply to a lesser degree to distance running too especially when it involves a hilly, technical 25K (not to mention the nut bars that do 50K).

January and February tend to drag by unless you are signed up for a long race you know you are undertrained for. When you are hoping to get at least one longer run in, 17 days zips on by like a texting Millenial on the highway. Before I knew it, it was January 17th and Phunt-eve. The weather called for cold and snow. My wife assumed I’d stay home. Silly wife. Why not add a treacherous car ride on hilly, windy, snow-covered roads to the adventure? So, come Saturday morning, off I went heading for the Fair Hill Nature Preserve near Elkton, Maryland.

Honestly given the pending road conditions for the ride home (snow, sleet, ice) I probably would have bagged the whole thing had it been some obscure event where I knew nobody but I had a bunch of running friends that would also be participating. Additionally, Phunt is not an obscure event. It started some 17 years ago as an informal “fat ass run” among friends and was named after race co-founders Phil and Hunt.

Phunt race director Carl Perkins shows off some Phunt gear.

Race director Carl Perkins has worked to promote this event making it what it is today. Phunt gets listed in the Trail Runner’s Magazine Race Directory and the 2021 event will probably be sold out by the time this blog post is published.

The drive to Elkton was easy enough. The weather was not supposed to deteriorate until later in the morning. Given the forecast I expected challenging course conditions with snow and ice covering the trail. As it turned out this was not to be.

I arrived at the preserve and was parked by a handful of flag waving parking volunteers. Surprisingly, this seemed to be a challenge for others. I’m not sure how one can miss the people waving big flags and pointing where to park. Aside from that, parking and packet pickup was quick and easy and, after tracking down a few folks I hadn’t seen in a while, I found myself sipping coffee and waiting for the arrival of my regular crew before the race start.

The pre-race at Phunt is Phun and Phestive. (Okay enough with the “Ph” frases.

Before long, the troops arrived. It’s not like I don’t see most of these people nearly weekly but events are always more fun with friends. We gathered about, discussed clothing, food, and strategy for the day and of course took selfies.

Some of my awesome Wegman’s crew.

Just before 9:00 Carl raised the garage door at the end of the building ushering in a wash of cold air and ushering 600 runners out the door toward the start. We made our way out as a group, gathered behind the “Start” banner and suddenly we were off!

One more selfie before the start! You can see me realizing the race has begun.

Well, here we go. Phunt starts out gently enough. The big pack of runners makes their way out a paved access road that eventually gives way to dirt but remains wide for some time. It is good to have room as the pack finds its pace and thins out. The speedy deer ran ahead, the slow and steady tortoises behind, with most of us somewhere in the middle. I knew I’d get through the 25K but wasn’t really sure what more than that to expect. Since most of my runs had been 7-8 miles I assumed I’d at least make it that far before beginning to labor.

The first 5 miles flew by amazingly fast. This early part of the race, is festive and full of people. Trail runs are different than road races. You can’t just pass at will. It is neither polite nor safe to try to barge by people on a narrow single track. When you find yourself in a line of runners you make conversation and, as the trail permits, ask to pass or give a polite “Passing on your left” as you carefully go by. The onus is on the passer to leave the track and take their chances in the leaves and rocks to go around. At Phunt, this continues until the first aid station at the 5.5 mile mark.

The aid stations at Phunt make the whole event worth the $40.00. The first had a M.A.S.H theme and included beer, jello shots, fireball as well as more traditional running nutrition. I chose some Tailwind and a couple Oreo cookies. I made a quick pass through and kept moving down the trail (albeit at a walk while I ate and drank) but my friends Kim and Heather fully partook of the aid station. Hopefully Kim doesn’t mind me sharing her photos because they do a great job of capturing the essence.

Heather and Kim fueling up.

Heather and Klinger

There is one noteworthy introduction to the 2020 Phunt event. One of the quandaries of racing and trail racing in particular is that runners tend to try to be somewhat environmentally friendly and aid stations usually are anything but. Typically each aid station goes through several hundred disposable cups to try to keep runners hydrated. This is enormously wasteful and a race directors have, for years, sought a solution. I think Carl found a pretty good answer. This year Phunt featured reusable folding cups. Each runner was given one at the start and expected it use it throughout the race. I did just that by carrying it in my jacket pocket throughout the day. It worked wonderfully well and probably got me to hydrate better than the 1/2 filled paper or plastic cups that are normally provided. I filled it fully at each aid station and walked and drank until it was gone. It took almost no time to wad the cup up and put it back in my pocket.

Once I forced my sweaty, wet mittens back on to my hands I resumed running. I was impressed with how easily I seemed to be covering ground. I felt like a ninja gliding over the trail.

Me for the first few miles.

Still, I vaguely remembered the second half of the course being more difficult and wondered at what point my lack of distance training would catch up with me.

After the first aid station things thinned out a bit. The massive flood of runners arriving for aid gave way to a slow trickle of runners taking up the single track again. From that point to the end of the race, encounters with other runners would be in much smaller groups. I still felt good and continued to glide over the trail.

The interesting thing about trail running is that while it may seem closer to nature than a road race, the runner needs to stay pretty focused on the trail immediately ahead or they are going to get really close to nature when they face plant over an unseen rock or root. This is especially so as the distances and fatigue increase. Combine that with technical uphills and downhills, and the body begins to suffer quickly. Still, as my Garmin clicked off miles I felt strong and thought that I might get through the day without crashing and burning.

Aid station #2 came really quickly. This time I grabbed some tailwind and a handful of M&Ms and marched onward. The “crowd” in the woods really got sparse here. More than once I had to slow and look ahead for the telltale yellow flagging that indicated the proper course as I feared I’d missed a turn. Inevitably, I’d catch up with another runner or another runner would catch up to me and all was well.

Larger strings of runners are more common early in the race.

Suddenly, I realized I was beginning to work a bit harder. The Ninja had apparently stayed at the last aid station and left the undertrained runner. I glanced at my Garmin: 8.5 miles. Well, that’s about right. On the road I suspect I could have made it a bit further before the wheels began to come off but the trails take a bit more work. Still, I was moving okay. Maybe I wasn’t a trail Ninja anymore but my running form was holding out. Just keep moving forward. Relentless forward progress. I took queues from the other trail runners and briskly walked the large, technical hills. It’s no good killing oneself to scurry up a difficult climb if it costs time later due to exhaustion.

Somewhere on a hill in the woods I encountered my first two casualties. A young woman in front of me rolled her ankle and went down. Thankfully her landing wasn’t hard. I stopped to make sure she was okay, helped her up, and told her not to be a hero. We aren’t getting any sort of awards for bravery for finishing injured. After determining she could at least walk without assistance I pressed on. Shortly thereafter I encountered two fine young men helping a lady who had obviously fallen and could not walk. They were making their way slowly down the trail. There was not much to do other than encourage them and promise to report in their situation at the next aid station.

Aid station #3 came at about the 10 mile mark. I don’t know what the theme was. Everyone was dressed in red. Maybe Hell? If so, it was a good place for it. (More on this later.) Again a wide variety of snacks, and hydration was offered. As I got my folding cup filled with Tailwind I told them about the injured runner. They had already dispatched someone to go pick her up. Bravo Team Phunt!

As I left the aid station, a foreboding feeling took over as I began to recognize where I was. We often read about forgotten traumatic childhood experiences that get released years later with a flood of fear and emotion by something as simple as a smell. Such was my feeling as I turned off the trail shortly after aid station 3. Miles 10-13 are brutal and certainly deserve at least an honorable mention in Dante’s 9 Circles of Hell. (See aid station reference above.)

If Dante ever did Phunt I wouldn’t have had to edit this.

As if the terrain in these miles isn’t enough, it is the loneliest part of the course. As you wind around and go up and down it is sometimes difficult to catch sight of another runner. When you do it is like one zombie spotting another. There isn’t a lot of conversation as you plod along seeking some brains to eat and hoping your arm or leg doesn’t fall off. You give a grunt of acknowledgement and keep moving. Relentless forward progress.

These miles feature some of the most brutal downhill sections on the course. They are real quad-beaters and really sap all remaining energy.

As I scrambled down the last hill and struggled across the road to the final, relatively flat portion of the course, I suddenly realized my friends Claire and Bundy were doing the 50K. Basically, they’d get back to the start and head out again for another loop. We always discuss the poor access to mental health care in the United States. The effect of this doesn’t sink in until you see the results in person. I was grateful I didn’t have to do another loop.

Claire and Bundy at a recent 100 mile event. Obviously there is some sort of untreated mania involved. That is the only explanation.

Somewhere around mile 12 the muscles around my left knee had had enough. I had hoped to at least maintain good running form until the end but it wasn’t to be. The “Trail Ninja” was a distant memory. Now, especially on even the slightest downhill, I felt more like an Ogre clomping along the trail. The hills had taken their toll on my quads and they announced that they were just passengers for the rest of the race.

youtube

The video is kind of how I felt at the end . . except maybe not that graceful and fast. On a side note, perhaps the name Glubtrub will be my new trail running alias.

The last couple miles of Phunt should be fairly easy. They feature mostly a gentle downhill on a fairly non-technical section of trail. All I could do was plod slowly along and keep counting down the miles a tenth at a time mixing in the occasional, brief walk. Really, all I could think about was dry clothes and a hot bowl of chili. I was acutely aware of my struggle up the hill at the end the last time I Phunted and was also acutely aware that I had trained pretty well at that time getting in some long trail runs beforehand. Relentless forward progress. Chili. Beer. Keep moving.

I burst out of the woods (burst might be an over-statement) and onto the road that leads to the finish. It was all uphill but, at this point, I was fine with that. My selfish quads didn’t mind going uphill. Still I was only vaguely doing something like running and I crept along up, up, up the hill, across the road and on to the grounds of the Preserve center. I was almost there. Around one last bend and there was the finish. Praise be! I made it! I grabbed a finisher’s medal and made a beeline for my bag of clothes, some chili, and a beer in that order.

The rewards a the Phinish. (Okay last time. I promise.)

Oh . . how do you get through the tale of a winter trail run without mentioning the weather? The prediction had been for 1-4″ of snow starting sometime that morning. Other than the occasional flurry, we didn’t have a thing. It was cold with temps staying in the mid 20s the entire day. This was a big plus over the last time I raced the course. At that time, temps got into the 30s providing enough surface melt to make sections a bit slippery. On this day you could have really raced in any shoe you chose. The course was frozen solid and easily navigable without slipping. That said, I knew we were getting snow farther North and was torn between seeking out my friends as they finished and heading home before the roads got terrible. The drive home was treacherous in bad conditions so I elected to pack up and go. I did catch up with Jill and Claire on my way out though. Jill was doing the sane thing and enjoying a cup of hot chocolate. Claire was doing the not-so-sane thing and getting ready for loop #2.

Aside from following a plow truck, a horse trailer, and some poor individual that should probably think about moving South the ride home turned out to be uneventful though I’m glad I didn’t wait longer to come home. When passing slower drivers on snow covered I-176 I may have said “Passing on your left” out loud more than once.

In retrospect it wasn’t Phast but, it was Phun!

Pardon me, I Phunted! "Congratulations! You have been selected from the waiting list for the following race and event. Phunt…

#Adventure #America #Fitness #Friends #Half-Marathon #Happiness #Healthy Living #Life #Lifestyle #Marathon #Nature #Obesity #Running #Sports #Trail Running #Triathlon #Ultra-Running

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royceroos · 6 years ago

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Millennials, Children and Jobs

This morning I read the article ��How Millennials Became The Burnout Generation” by Anne Helen Petersen for Buzzfeed. Usually an article like this would — very ironically if you read the article — end up on my ‘to-read’ list but seeing as it is the last weekend of my holiday I felt like I had the time to read in on the spot. I wanted to share it on my blog and write out some of my thoughts because of how much it resonated with me. Of course I can recognise the limits of the story she writes in my own life as the Netherlands is much better at treating its millennials in terms of health care and student debt than the USA, but nevertheless it remains true and recognisable.

What I found most recognisable was the way in which Petersen describes the pressure on Millenials to find a job that “reflects well on their parents (steady, decently paying, recognizable as a “good job”) that’s also impressive to their peers (at a “cool” company) and fulfills what they’ve been told has been the end goal of all of this childhood optimization: doing work that you’re passionate about”. This pressure to find the optimal, ultimate job is something that I feel almost every day, so much so that usually I just try to avoid thinking about what will come after graduating my Masters programme. It is a pressure that I hear all around me, something that is always in the background of conversation among my peers.

Reading about all of the things that most potential jobs for millennials aren’t according to Petersen made me think about a conversation that I had with some friends a while ago. We were discussing the various side jobs we kept as we did our studies; waiting tables, retail, cleaning homes etc. when one of my friends pointed out that it was ridiculous that these were jobs we referred to a something we did before our ‘real’ job. Wasn’t this a real job? Wasn't what we were doing real work? Didn’t it matter that we did this work as much as it mattered that we did our studies?

They were, we all agreed, but it didn’t really matter because what we wanted — that dream job that is both financially stable and cool and our passion — had nothing to do with these ones. They wouldn’t add to our cv’s, wouldn’t make us stronger competitors to win the system. But something about that made me angry, and it made me angry again as I read Petersen’s article. Because while I used this blog to write about my volunteering with AIESEC during my gap year (something which I did think added to my cv), I didn’t write about my job at Opella. This job was a cleaning job, a job that I loved maybe more than I loved my volunteering in Greece. But as I was working this job I was constantly worrying: am I wasting my time here? What will working this job do for me in the future? It was almost as if I wasn’t allowing myself to enjoy the job I was working simply because my surroundings were telling me it wasn’t good enough, that I should be striving for more. And that made no sense, because while I do aspire to become something quite different from being a cleaner, I loved this job. I loved it because it was rewarding, when I finished I was truly finished and had leisure time to attend to myself for a while, and it did not constantly require me to compete with my peers about who was better or bigger or faster.

This doesn’t mean we should all throw away our dreams and stop our hard work to obtain that one dream job, but it does illustrate Petersen’s point; that we are never not working and when we work jobs that allows us to take breaks (to live life) we feel guilty about them.

Another point that struck me was her illustration of the pressure on female millennials with families as ‘project managers’ of a household — a job on top of all the other jobs. It is a struggle that I can see even with my mother (a baby-boomer with a part time job). Without the added pressure of maintaining an online brand and struggling in an underpaid internship to pay overpriced rent she faces this struggle. She comes home tired after work to find that nobody cleaned their dishes or put on the washing machine, simply because “she never asked them to.” Personally, I have no interest in becoming a household manager and struggling this job alongside my ‘real’ job. So over the past few years I have taken to telling people I have no interests in having children. It's not that I dislike children as much as I make out to be to my mother and any potential boyfriends, but more that I try to manage expectations. It is like preemptively saying: if I ever have those kids know it wasn't cause I needed them that badly, so you'll have to do the work, you'll have to take that management job.

In short, I struggle with my image of the future; what kind of job will I be working and how will I get there? Will I be able to have any leisure time outside of it, and if I do, do I want to spend that on raising and grooming my children? These are questions most millenials ask and few can answer, and although our parents probably struggled with similar questions at their age, times have changed and the answers may now be harder to find. Petersen’s article illustrates this amazingly and I highly recommend reading it!

#thoughts #millennials #how millennials became the burnout generation #Anne Helen Petersen #Buzzfeed #children #jobs #job market #future #Emma #Emma cartoons

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observationsofanislandgirl-blog · 7 years ago

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Black dog or grumpy cat?

To say I woke up with a bit of an off mood is an understatement. The alarm went at 7, so not exactly early, and to be honest I wasn’t tired in body. I just couldn’t get out of bed. It’s sometimes termed being bitten by the black dog. I guess some days feel like a nip you get when roughhousing, but today was more like he snuck up, launched himself, pinned me down and bit into my throat.

It’s not the strong thing to do, or the well-published thing to do, but I ended up staying put, for a whole hour, laying still and letting the tears come. It turned out to be the best thing.

This isn’t depression. This is simply being upset. I had a singular and legitimate reason to be negative this morning, stemming from the scheduled introductory visit of a palliative nurse.

The word sends waves of sickness and fear through most people, understandably so, since anything in relation to the end of life is frightening. Nevertheless, it’s also fraught with misconception. Palliative does not, in itself, mean “I’m here because you’re about to die”. It means “I’m here because you’re dealing with something incurable and difficult, and I’m going to help you make the most of each day.” Palliative nurses aren’t the faceless entities who inject suspicious looking drugs into ancient, shrivelled veins. They’re highly qualified, deeply insightful individuals who help out in difficult times, from tiny newborns struggling with defects to weakened giants dealing with chronic disease.

Exactly as I let the fear and pain wash over, I also let the facts wash over in the minutes to follow. I realised, with an internal shake of the head, that it’s counter productive and a tad stupid to label every single bad mood as ‘depression’, which only means you stigmatise yourself more, and paint yourself as something you’re not. Despite the increasing openness about mental health, there is still an unfortunate tendency to desire a constantly positive mood in life, something which is delusional and impossible. I guess it links well with the self-entitled, indulgent aspect of the millenial personality.

All in all, I was out of action for a little more than an hour, thankfully my schedule today was flexible enough to allow it. I got up and got started on the day, and now I feel fine, great in fact. Despite all the thinking I do about brains and emotions, I still don’t have all my answers, and probably never will. This week is only two days in and I’ve already learnt two things, however: firstly, that I can deal with a bad mood that comes up for no reason, and secondly, I can accept one that exists for a legitimate reason.

It does make me wonder about the potential flaws of our generation’s approach to mental health. Very little is actually said about handling genuine, externally-influenced negativity. I suppose it is de-prioritised since people struggling with genuine depression are so hopeless since it comes from themselves, but I think some young people can also fall into the trap of thinking that clinical depression-oriented literature encompasses their own feelings when it kind of doesn’t. I do wonder if in fact the opposite result can occur when certain methods are misused; the increasingly popular term ‘taking a mental health day’ for example. If you’re so incapacitated by a low mood that comes from an imbalance within, you’re going to be taking a mental health day whether you like it or not, because you’re basically a walking zombie. Self care isn’t going to feel like it, it’s just going to feel as shit as the rest of existence. Watching a film or reading a book isn’t going to do jack either.

On the other hand, if you’re genuinely battling because something in your life is crappy, wrapping yourself up in cotton wool isn’t always the way to go. Sounds hypocritical given I did spend an hour this morning doing exactly that, but bear with me. One of the key emotions when life is out of kilter is the feeling of helplessness. You feel lost, destabilised, and you want to grab on to something to pull you out of the choppy waves. When I’m having a really bad day, my own behaviour reminds me of a particularly clingy, poor-tempered kitten who just wants to curl up somewhere safe and not be of any use to anyone. As silly as that simile sounds, it can genuinely upset me because it reinforces the feeling of uselessness. The best remedy is to feel worthwhile and capable again, and that certainly doesn’t come from taking a scented bath or spending the afternoon lying in a photogenic corner of the garden (by all means do that, when you have the time though).

That being said, a bit of brain storming this morning, and probably a bit of a cry, did me a world of good. Today isn’t the day to be a kitten crying on her owner’s collar. Today’s the day to be a strong, content, sassy cat, strutting its stuff along the street.

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