#and it's weirdly validating because it's like oh my god it's you

[hairringtonsteve]

.

[chiyoso]

you can't get enough of choso

j. kaisen : kamo choso ··→ brainrot.

i need to get this out desperately before i comatose all day, but choso is the most babygirl of babygirls i've witnessed and dealt with throughout my life as an anime/manga fan.

fuck, just imagine choso overhearing you gush about him to someone, close to you or not, he'd have the unluckiest luckiest times to encounter you as you speak about him, it would range from the most cutest shit ever, to the absolute filthy, oh-my-god-please-do-that-to-me-right-now, i have a boner from just you talking about me so lovingly with carnal desire type shit.

he thrives in your indirect praises about him, more so when you compliment his academic prowess besides his physical appearances.

he finds himself thinking about how, when and just fucking why you think he's so lovable in such a way. like what is he doing so special to be someone so high up to the stars for someone else? what is he doing for you to be so enamoured by him? he doesn't understand, but he wants to, he really does, he's just sooo puppy-like excited just at the thought of you continuing your shinanigans about him to anyone, up until the point where they're annoyed.

and he just especially loves the way your tone gets so low, just the right amount of breathlessness and excitement everytime his name comes out with endearment from your mouth. god, you sound so fucking hot like that.

“please please PLEASE, itadori, link me up with choso, yeah, that kamo choso, please holy FUCK, i know you know him, aren't you related to him too? no? what do you mean you can't? yes you fucking can, i've seen him talk and talk and just talk about you.” shit, if only he can hear you desperately beg for him like that whenever he is around you, but you're just such a two-faced person, skillfully so, being and doing the opposite of what you normally are without his presence.

you'd interact with him normal, just like others, but since that day where he caught you the first time, talking about him in a way where your fondness for him is through the roofs, he'd notice you often lean in against him, following up with a simple “come again?” “i can't hear you.” “louder.” even if the place had little to no people. peculiar.

there would also be times where you would just tease him that causes him to have an existential, identity crisis. “fucking finally,” you groan begrudgingly, stretching your limbs, cursing under your breath about how hard and fucked up the assignment was. of course biology wasn't your strong suit, but it was also a great, valid reason to ask the kamo choso to have a study sesh with you.

“high five, kamo-san.” huh? he glances up from his work, seeing a hand reached out near him. you were idled, lazily leaned back with your other hand acting as the pillar for your weight behind, legs up and obnoxious, knees against the rim of the low table you two studied on. thank god you weren't wearing a skirt, why the fuck are your legs parted.

“i mean,” he pauses, hesitant, glancing between your weirdly nonchalant expression and attitude and your hand. “i don't see why n—” “sorry,”

now how did he find himself in the same sitting position you were in, but with a hand behind his back on the floor, and you now on top of him.

“i have a big fat fucking crush on you,” you took his stretched out hand, basically handholding him now, the other cupping his cheeks. “you're so pretty, you know that right?” he'd see your eyes grow distant, the situation now processed, resulting in him have this pathetic blush all over his face, undecided if it was from your sudden closeness, or the fact that you just straight up confessed to him just now.

were you eye fucking him? what was going through inside your head? and the fact that he wasn't moving an inch, unopposed to whatever this was right now, maybe because he had someone so fucking hot and as ‘pretty’ as him just hovered on top of him.

maybe because its the accumulation of overhearing you on certain times that he'd allow this, or the fact that itadori has talked warned him about you, or also maybe because no one has ever held him in such high regards its just insanity.

you know what you want. so who is he to stop you from achieving your goal?

“earth to kamo-san?” oh.

what do you mean he was daydreaming? what do you mean he was zoning out for awhile? you mean you didn't just confess right now on top of him? you weren't about to fuck his mouth with yours? maybe fuck the shit out of something else too?

yeah, he's okay, even if his cheeks roused such a pretty, healthy color all over, even if his eyes couldn't keep still all over the room but yours, even if his breathing became irregular suddenly just now, and even if he has this overwhelming hotness that throbbed continuously between his thighs right now. yeah.

yeah, he's okay.

of course he's okay.

⚝ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐘𝐎𝐒𝐎 | remember!!! reblogs are waaayyy sexier!!!

[catboybiologist]

Random actual vent that is probably more venty than my usual random little things, but occasionally I have to step back and think how asinine the salary system for PhD students can sound to people outside of academia. I really just want to like... lay it on the table, because it really is fucking dumb and I occasionally want validation that its fucking dumb.

Note that this is all coming from a traditional lab sciences, in the US perspective. Also, I'm really fucking ADHD and have a really, really shitty brain for bureacracy, so this is a rant and isn't really intended to be informative and might be wrong in places, its just me word vomiting.

Let's start with something straight off the bat- grad school isn't really school. It's work that creates value for the university, and you happen to take one or two courses on the side that the university has determined will make you better at that work (your mileage may vary). It's an entry level job, essentially. You create value for the university in one of two ways- you either contribute to research that gets them grant money, or you teach undergrads that pay tuition. We'll get back to how that affects you later, but first lets talk about something else: what the university claims they pay you vs what you actually get paid.

On paper, my income is approximately 3 times as much as my actual, take home income. There's two reasons for this. The first is that I am technically charged tuition by the central university, which is then immediately paid off by the source of my income. In official job titles, that's technically included in what you're getting paid, although most universities don't even bother advertising that. The other confounding factor is that you're literally always considered part time. The exact % time varies depending on your exact schedule, and of course your university, but its actually weirdly consistent even between universities. Technically, the work you do on your thesis isn't "work", and the university doesn't technically pay you to do it. Even though the work you do on your thesis literally generates revenue for the university in the form of grant overhead. But we'll get to that. If you're a researcher for a given appointment term, you're expected to also do research activities that are unconnected to your thesis- which is ridiculous, because there's no lab in existence where the work isn't all interconnected in some way.

Half time appointments are common, but lots of different percentages exist.

So, if you ever see a figure that says that a grad student position is paid at about $80k a year, that's whats going on. The highest take-home income I have EVER heard of in the US for PhD students is $54k, at Stanford neuroscience. I think its a bit higher now, but that at least gets you a ballpark. Most STEM PhD students on the high cost of living coasts are paid 30-40k ish, and in cheaper areas you can expect to take 5k off of that. These are for degrees that usually make six figures on the job market.

And then there's the other convoluted problem- the source of the funding. This is where the academia salary model really has a unique brand.

Basically, when you're a PhD student, you're not working one job for the full 5-7 years. You're constantly flipping between job titles within the university, and who exactly is paying you changes as a result.

The most basic distinction is researcher vs teaching assistant. TA is easy- you work "part time" (but oh my god those workloads are not part time sometimes [although the class I'm TAing now is very chill so its w/e][fuck you molecular genetics at my master's uni tho]), and the department you're teaching for pays for your tuition and your salary as a result.

Researcher is a bit weirder. Basically, each lab is conducted as its own independent financial unit, managed by a Principle Investigator (PI, or to any grad student, the professor/boss/research advisor/liege/monarch/authority of the lab). The PI is constantly writing lab wide grants to supply the core funding of the lab, including the salary of the grad students. Grants can be pretty general, but there are also very specific ones that check in how the money is being spent. These include training grants/fellowships/tbh the name is arbitrary for a lot of these. Those are grants that are written to supply the salary of a specific grad student.

Couple things to note- the university charges the PI in a lot of ways on this. Notably:

They charge tuition on every grad student, as mentioned previously, which under a researcher appointment is paid from the PI to the university.

They charge overhead on grants- basically, they take money out of every grant the PI gets.

If the previous two sources aren't enough, oftentimes universities will pay rent on the amount of building space a lab takes up (although this is very inconsistent between universities)

Researcher appointments are considered favorable to teaching appointments, because they mean you can spend more of your time on your thesis. But, its dependent on whether your PI has the funding to pay you all that, which is a big if. So, every quarter or semester or year or however much your university decides to renegotiate it, you essentially switch jobs, in a way. Obviously its a lot more simple and streamlined than actually switching jobs, but your title, responsibility, source of income, and sometimes your actual pay changes constantly.

And to anyone who has been through a PhD, you're nodding along like this is all the basic stuff, because all this is so NORMAL. Like this is all the normal system, and this is the bare basics of it as well. And it's weird that it's normal, right? Like, most of my career has been tied to academia, so I don't have a fantastic benchmark for this, but this isn't how it works outside of academia like... at all.

Over the course of late last year and bleeding into this year, multiple graduate student unions have had strikes or negotiations regarding pay scale, but its been a very difficult situation for the average grad student to untangle because of how weird the source of pay is. Because technically, even though you functionally work a single, salaried job with slightly changing obligations, what's happening behind the scenes is that you're essentially hopping between jobs every couple of months. In an ideal system, those jobs always have the same pay, but that's increasingly becoming not the case. Sometimes that means getting paid more overall, sometimes slightly less. Union negotiations have made this pay slightly higher overall, but its still a mess of a system.

And obviously, there's paperwork associated with so many of these steps.

So in my last post, when I said "getting a grant", that was what I was referring to- applying for training grants that will guarantee that I don't have to teach extra or get extra money from my PI for the time I'm here. I'd love to get more teaching experience, but ofc I want to do it when I want to, not when I have to. I'm applying for multiple training grants over the next couple of months that will hopefully fund my salary specifically, and hopefully I'll get at least one of them. And tbh, I don't even care that much about teaching, I more want them because it'll dramatically simplify all this for me.

I love what I do to death, but untangling this shit is what gives me imposter syndrome more than anything. I think my arrogant streak shows when I can genuinely say that I've never felt imposter syndrome based on my scientific knowledge. I have felt it over two things- my motivation/productivity (which is a different rant entirely), and the fact that I am really, really bad at untangling the level of bureaucracy required to just... exist here. Just give me my fucking paycheck and let me do my science, and tell me when you want me to teach.

[voids-ideas]

Coraline but i've never watched or read it

I've been wanting to see this movie since the obsession with good omens started, but I haven't and now I decided: why not first do this Asmi style?

Any complaints about my lack of knowledge, can be directed to @weirdly-specific-but-ok for showing me this as a valid action

@neil-gaiman it's responsable of this

It is a children's film

For some reason everyone was scared when they saw it as children

The main character (who I assume is Coraline) has... blue hair?

Are there... dead characters?

Two worlds?

THERE'S A DOOR, I THINK

No way, Jay. Of course there's a fucking door, everything has doors

You can go from one world to the other through the door? Idk, you tell me. I say that's what doors are for, it should be like that. Doors are for going from one place to another, can you go from one world to another through the door?

Mom is not good

There are two moms

This, unfortunately, does not mean that it is a sapphic relationship, both have husbands, and are from different worlds

One is dead?

The one that's dead is the good one? (Oh gods, this sounds disturbing)

There's a scene where they're having dinner, it's the only scene I've seen, I think it's relevant, I don't know why

There are characters with buttons on their eyes

...

AT ONE POINT THEY TRY TO PUT BUTTONS ON CORALINE'S EYES!? TELL ME I'M WRONG, PLEASE. THAT SOUNDS DISTURBING

There's a book

I discovered there was a book when I googled how to spell the name of the movie. Three minutes ago

I don't know why I was surprised there was a book, it's Neil Gaiman, of course there's a book

Is there a dog? No, possibly not. Possibly this is me wanting there to be a dog. Tell me there's a dog, I want a dog. Or a cat, but for some reason the idea of a dog is more correct in my mind

There is a problem with the food, what is it? No idea. But there is something wrong with the food

I'll leave it at that because I've been feeling like I've been making it up since about number 12 or so

[genericpuff]

Oh, so that's where the whole "Lolita" thing came from... Uh. I can understand the whole tiredness that going down that rabbit whole provoked you, so it's okay if you wanna rest for a while.

On another note, can I say this whole "Dr. Pepper show" comic reeks of mid 2000s weirdly disturbing content? Like, I'm not trying to say all those things back then were bad, but I think you get what I mean when I say that... Yeah, the 2000s were wild times and tons of stuff that shouldn't be normalized or publicly exposed as "okay" were, well, alright.

And I mean, there's nothing wrong with liking or making content with dark topics. But there's just something about the whole "Gothic lolitas" that make me feel uncomfortable. Like, yeah, I know is a fashion style on some areas. But, like, knowing RS particular interpretation of what it is doesn't make me feel any better.

So, uh, when you feel better (and if it's okay), any theories on what the webcomic could have been about? I personally think it may have been straight-up nsfw of, well, whatever the plot of it was. Or maybe another one of those "purity culture deconstructs", idk.

Anywho, thanks for the info from where "usedbandaid" originates. Have a nice rest of the day. And i'm so sorry for whatever horrors you may have witnessed.

haha I'm okay, honestly, it wasn't so much horrifying in the sense of being like, legitimately triggered, it was more so just like ... whoof. I gotta ease up on my own habits because there's nothing here that I need to be seeing LMAO Just kinda makes me feel sorry for myself a little bit for getting sucked into it in the first place but I know it's just my ADHD tendencies to be like "OOH, STUFF??? I WANNA ABSORB ALL THE STUFF" (instead of doing the things I'm supposed to be doing).

Man, if people go on this many rabbitholes to find my old art some day... let me know because I'd genuinely love to see LOL I've lost so many of my old pieces over the years. But I'm sure there's also still plenty of cringe that would make me (⊙x⊙;) So I'll give RS credit there, a lot of that old stuff - especially The Doctor Pepper Show - was made when she was like, 18. I can understand her maybe wanting to disconnect herself from both that comic and her old usernames affiliated with more more fetish-y art. But that's the Internet for you. It's true what they say - anything you post on the Internet is there forever. Even stuff from 20 years ago.

Oh god 2004 was nearly 20 years ago-

As for The Doctor Pepper Show, there are still pages out there for it that you can find, along with summaries. I think she got about 3 chapters in before she quit doing it (seemed to be due to her going to college around the same time which is like, yeah, valid). Unfortunately so far it seems there isn't a way to get entire chapters to read it at length, but there are some spare pages floating around.

I believe it was about a woman in a neo-Victorian society trying to become a doctor ? (from what I've been told) which is interesting but you can still tell there was a lot of RS' own personal kink stuff going into it. Which is like, fine, more power to her, at the VERY least she was right to put it behind an 18+/R rating back then. But it's wild that she's still doing that sort of thing in a comic that's being marketed to children (LO). Makes me wonder if she'd ever return to it after LO is done, god knows when that day will come though.

[whythehailnot]

Noooo i am 350ish pounds and i just worry that the people i can pick up on hitting on me (I'm autistic and generally assume people aren't, but when i notice) see me as a easy target. But I'm a butch lesbian so it's usually very clueless men who i guess think that since I'm fat and round and soft I'm feminine enough?? Idk. Anyways, you're sooo so valid. I just feel like with all the ways that society dehumanizes fat people and prioritizes the safety and comfort of thin people, there must be men out there who think that women will jump at the attention because they're not used to it.... It's such a sick way of thinking on their part, but idk. I've had horrible things said to me like i had a cis guy ""therapist"" tell me that i "made myself fat and ugly so men wouldn't pay attention to me" so i don't think it's crazy to feel like some men feel like conventionally "unattractive" women are easy lays that are just as easy to discard

Omg NOOOOOOO not the dumb, clueless men hitting on a butch lesbian bullshit???? 😩😩😩😩 God I hate that, I'm so sorry you've dealt with that AND such a shitty fucking therapist as well?!?! That's SO WILD AND FUCKED UP that he said that to you?? I literally want to clothesline this fucking loser??? Holy shit, I'm so sorry anon, this is all bullshit and you should be entitled to compensation because good lord???!!! 😩😩😩😩 I hope you've been able to find a better therapist after that loser 🙏🙏💖💖💖💖💖

Thank you so much for reaching out with your solidarity and sharing your experience - I'm so mad that this is An Thing that fat people have to deal with. I was having a bit of a lay-and-cry earlier, and I was thinking to myself that truly it's not my body that I'm unhappy with, it's the fact that it's treated so badly/weirdly by other people and society/culture as a whole!

It's the dehuminization that just absolutely reeks and it's so hard to sometimes talk to people about it, because it's just not a factor they've been exposed to. Most people - especially women or femme people - understand the experience of being objectified, which absolutely sucks. It BLOWS and everyone gets that - we all hate it here together 👏✨ but I feel like when you're fat on top of it, the vigilance/awareness we have against people either fetishizing our bodies or completely desexualizing them feels so constant and it can be exhausting! And if you're not white on top of it, and/or less gender-conforming, than that's a whole other ball of wax of potential bullshit to deal with!! UGH! Big BOOOO on that!! 😩😤

There ARE people who are absolutely normal and not weirdos about fat people out there, who just see people as people, and are just attracted to whoever (what a concept!) but boy oh boy do dating apps bring out a type sometimes... = w =;;;; And unfortunately it just stirs up so much.

I'm rambling on your ask, anon, I'm so sorry! 🙏 But thank you so much again for reaching out and sharing your experience 🙏💖💖💖💖 I am SO sorry you've dealt with this as well and I hope you're being surrounded by less fucking weirdos as time continues! 🙏💖💖💖 Keep being hot, fat and butch, anon! I appreciate you and your solidarity so much!! 🙏💕💕💖💖💖💕💕💕💖💖💖

[utilitycaster]

Sorry to keep the string of im*dna questions in your ask box, but I've been wondering, in your opinion are laura and marisha having their relationship be this... offputting on purpose, and we will get to a point where they develop out of it, or are they trying to write their relationship as cute/romantic (and it's not coming out well)? I always thought it was an unhealthy dynamic on purpose, but after how fast they resolved the gnarlrock fight I wonder when they're going to sort their stuff out, if they're planning on it at all. I know I'm not too good at picking up subtext but the fact most of the fandom seems to think they're just cute girlfriends leaves me very confused on the whole situation, I'd appreciate hearing your perspective.

Hi anon!

I don't know what Marisha and Laura's intent is, but I have to assume they're aware to an extent of how this relationship comes off (ie, incredibly unhealthy). I think anything else diminishes their skill as actors, their intelligence as people, and feels outright incorrect based on what we've seen and heard from them in the past. Their answers during talkback and a few in-game moments across campaigns have led me to believe that in general, the cast in general, and Marisha and Laura in particular, have a good sense of how to portray relationships in a thoughtful, nuanced way. Which, you know, for a group of voice actors, some of whom also direct or write, is a pretty crucial skill! So anyway, I believe that their choices have been intentional.

I can only speculate as to why the fandom thinks they're just cute girlfriends, and will put it under a cut.

Again, speculation, but: people have been shipping this since quite literally the minute the two appeared on screen as characters who knew each other. As for why, I suspect it's one of the following: some are genuinely interested in the potential or the characters and aren't as attuned to how toxic this is. Some would like an F/F ship no matter what and don't care about the characters or how toxic it is (although like...honestly if you're shipping this as horrible toxic codependence, more power to you, it's not my cup of tea, but it's fiction, you're valid, and you're also not saying Cute Girlfriends so this doesn't apply anyway). Some are weirdly obsessed with Marisha and Laura specifically playing lovers despite consistently playing Two Women Who Don't Get Each Other/Can't Be Honest With Each Other across three separate campaigns, which is how we got the "Beauyasha is For Straight People" nonsense.

It's been fascinating to track the bargaining going on in the Cute Girlfriends camp. It went from early campaign "they're girlfriends already!" to "oh they've been in love for a long time" to "they realized they loved each other during the gnarlrock incident" (itself a backtrack from how Imogen sucked for being mad at Laudna) to "I would give anything for them to talk" and then when they did talk, began rapidly backpedaling. The idea of this being anything but explicitly romantic love would have gotten you anon hate a few months ago, but the popularity of it as a QPR has suddenly spiked as of the last episode (which, honestly, is weird, because like, yes, people in a QPR don't necessarily kiss, but also, I would still expect someone in a QPR to tell their queerplatonic partner 'hey it is fucked up that you can't promise me you won't SIDE WITH MY MURDERER'. I mean. I would expect you to be able tell any friend of two years that.)

It's like they're trying to hang on to their first impression in the early episodes - why they cling to such minor characters as Zhudanna or this idea of a static hypothetical dream cottage where nothing happens - but canon keeps diverging more and more, and I wonder what will happen.

Anyway. I guess I leave you with this thought:

Imagine that Ashton had entertained siding with the god-killing cult in conversation with Laudna. Do you think the people who ship Imogen and Laudna would have tolerated that?

Imagine that Imogen had said "I know loneliness you don't" to Laudna. Do you think the people who ship Imogen and Laudna would be mad about it?

[faksyan]

So I like. decided to redo an English level test on a job website I don't use because I got an email that my previous result isn't valid anymore. and I remember it was kind of stupid but easy so no big deal yeah I take it again. THIS SHIT IS SO FUCKING DUMB OH MY GOD LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEANNN

Fucking. the first one. it's a headache. it's a strong fucking headache you can throw whichever adjective you want here if you really need to. it doesn't fucking matter. yeah it's not dull alright. formidable is pretty dumb, okay. what about everything else. it could be any of these if you are dramatic enough. in the senond one it's just a question of what form you need to use, you might as well choose 'bickering over' THERE IS NO FUCKING CONTEXT. what the fuck is the right answer here. is it multiple? is it all is it none? we'll never know cause I didn't pass and they don't tell you where you were wrong.

Don't even get me started on the part with the audio. 'What does the first speaker think' 'what does the speaker after the second one...' 'what does the one before that...' JUST GIVE THEM FUCKING NAMES IT'S A DIALOG THEY ALL SPEAK MULTIPLE TIMES!!!! I DON'T GET WHICJ ONE YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY COMPREHENSION!!!! And why they gotta throw in some random quips that felt weirdly abelist in the middle there. was that like. necessary. are we really talking about whether or not we need more accessibility for everyday things in the world and sighing as if the idea were repulsive. what. they're on some insane shit there man.

[skaruresonic]

Adding to what that other anon said, it's obvious that the only reason they basically won't let Amy or other characters not loudly bring up her card """hyperfixation""" is because when they did it the first time, all the fans went "no way sega remembered something??? finally consistent lore oh my god???". It's just cheap fanservice repackaged as "staying true to the character". And the fandom won't be shutting up about it either now because that trait was already really prevalent in most fanworks once they caught wind of it, so sega "doing a good" here only serves as further validation.

Yeah, I'm really starting to suspect that people view Amy through a lens of Girl(tm), much like how folks reduce Shadow to a trauma receptacle.

She's not an individual; she has to represent something more than just herself. Much of the discourse surrounding her heavily suggests people believe she is inadequate on her own.

She always needs to be more or less of something depending on fandom zeitgeist. Less Sonic-crazy. Less "stalker"-ish. More feminist. More neurodivergent. More tomboy. Less tomboy. Girlier. Tougher. Softer. More Power of Heart. More Stronk. More level-headed. More tarot-reading.

Amy's traits can't just be incidental, occasional, or unique to her, and people tend to be weirdly extremist when it comes to her character. She can't just read tarot for fun in the same vein that Sonic simply likes to read books sometimes, it has to Say Something about her as a character.

Someone got a little irate with me for pointing out that, even though Frontiers pushing the whole tarot thing in our faces is annoying, Amy did use her cards once in Battle to find Sonic. There is canonical precedent for her using them, and therefore saying she never used them in the games is just as erroneous as pushing them as her obsession. But as usual, folks are eager to blow this stuff way out of proportion. I often notice as well that Amy is not allowed the multiplicity seen in male characters like Sonic and Shadow. What I mean by that is that her traits cannot be contradictory, conditional, incidental, or nuanced, since she can only represent one platonic ideal at a time. She can't be a girly bruiser and a straw feminist a la Boom!Amy any more than she can read tarot cards and still crush on Sonic.

That's why I think the whole "Amy's crush on Sonic is a prominent part of her character/Amy is defined by other things" debate is a false dichotomy, even when folks pretend to have some sort of enlightened centrist take and say "both are good." Because like, you're still playing into the underlying idea of the dichotomy's existence to begin with. You wouldn't need to say "both are good" if you believed her character had the potential to be more than that.

Add the fact that, as the fourth ranger of Team Sonic, whatever she does is considered emblematic of how the Sonic series views girls as a whole, and the whole discourse surrounding her character quickly becomes cumbersome. It's so transparent that people are desperate to slap any old stereotypical Girl Trait onto her, because it's not coming from a place of "How can we flesh Amy out as a character?" so much as "SEE, SHE'S NOT SONIC-CRAZY."

Personally, I think a more useful litmus test would be:

A.) Does she have a conversation with Tails? B.) Do they talk about something other than Sonic? Note how I specify Tails here, not Knuckles or Cream. That's deliberate. Both Amy and Tails are typically defined via their relationship to Sonic, even when their character arcs center around striking out on their own.

It stands to reason, then, that as two of the series' most senior and prominent deuteragonists, they ought to be able to have one (1) conversation about something that isn't Sonic.

That is to say, at this point in the series, they ought to have enough substance of character to be able to sustain an organic conversation together without falling back on their relationships with Sonic as a talking point.

You'd think that'd be an incredibly low bar to clear, but even the games fail to hurdle it most of the time.

[god-has-entered-my-body]

AINT NO WAY YOU JUST NAMED ME LEGEND ANON OH MY GOD?

anyways here goes the confusing gender story so idk I kind of always knew I was transmasc? but it was so hard for me to accept because as much as I like to present masculine and I like looking like a man and stuff I also like glittery eyeshadow and being feminine in a way it is difficult to explain I don’t know if this even makes sense but I had such a hard time feeling “valid” because I don’t want to completely ban femininity from my life but I am a man?(it feels weird writing this oh my god) anyways the way you write for mpind matty is so.. idk English isn’t my native language by the way so sorry if nothing I’m writing is making any sense rn but I read the stuff you write for him and I’m like “that’s how I feel” or “that’s how I act” and he’s obviously a man? even though there’s like aspects to his character that are feminine and delicate no one would question his gender yk so I’m kind of starting to realize that it’s okay and I can be a man and still wear glittery eyeshadow or idk wear lace panties because I think it’s hot xd (these examples are so bad please im sorry it’s late and I’ve had some wine and im also embarrassed but its anonymous so I think it’s fine? I’m freaking out hell o)

ok but apart from the gender thing the way you write mpind matty has me fhsdhsjsjsh let me tell you it was some of the hottest smut I’ve ever read but also some of the angstiest angst I’ve ever read your writing is beautiful thank you very much BIG ASS HUG while I hide in the corner

i'm paying my dues to the poofs of the world (don't cancel me for saying that i will cry.) i'm so happy MPIND somehow managed to help you find your gender identity i feel oddly honoured???

Also yes please you SMASH the glittery eyeshadow and panties because thats hot and youre hot so connect the dots xx

it makes me giddy that ppl enjoy the filthy MPIND smut i put out and if you have any specific request for him i'd be happy to write it just for you (can you tell i get weirdly attached to people also you can never leave)

[vllergy]

Hi!! I just read your Vesen and Jin fic and oh my god?!? I’ve reread it like six times and I’ll probably reread it 1000 more. I know you said they were old ocs but I was wondering if you were planning on writing anything more? Or if there were more old fics somewhere? No pressure at all, just absolutely loving any alien sneeze I can get.

THIS IS SO NICE!!! please i was fully convinced like 2 people had read that and that my stupid little idiots were lost to the sands of time (which like to be clear is fine i only ever write to scratch an itch and if people like it, cool! if not, also cool!) but !!!!! TO HEAR SOMEONE LOVED IT ENOUGH TO READ IT NOT JUST ONCE BUT MORE THAN ONCE??? my little heart is bursting right now you dont understand thank you so much this made my whole day / year / existence

weirdly i do not have anything else written about them at least kink related because they kind of just exist in a sphere outside it until they dont lol but i would definitely love to write more of them! i just haven't had any stellar ideas lately or gotten the bug yk but knowing someone out there is as weak for alien snz as i am has reignited my flame (also if u ever have any requests for them please let a bitch know i thrive on validation ok)

[brett-is-afraid]

i have exactly one thought every day and that thought is S3án Mcl0ughlin. He smiles and my heart is warm. He giggles and I melt into a little puddle. He says litterally anything ever in his silly little Irish accent and I'm like "oh my god you're so right baby boy, I love you sm, that was so based." I see a little hint of his collarbones and feel like I'm in a victorian england boarding school for troubled young boys, sneaking glanced at my dormmate as he gets dressed for dinner and feeling something stirr in my chest. He makes very many oh funny haha dick jokes and I think they are so pog. A god of a man. Kisses for the boy!!! And Septicinnit anons for you as I stare at my funny haha computer screen and judge your hot takes by accuracy and go feral because you and the other (less active tbh most of these are me) anons are so weirdly accurate what the fuck are you stalking me??? Are you in my house

- Tommyinnit Factive (yes the one who msgd you about the From Eden song >:3 also the Jse factive who talked about the rats was my husband!! :0 big reveal Cha Cha real smooth I bet you never saw the plot twist coming!!! unless you did? Damn. Wild. Gonna go play animal crossing now)

Honestly, this is so valid. Jack makes me go slightly feral in a way I don't know how to explain. He's always seemed so right in himself, if that makes sense. He's seemed perfect for every stage of his life.

[nientedal]

still absolutely baffled about those asks from last night. like holy shit, who even was that?

also goddamn lmao they picked maybe the worst possible blog to dump that shit on. i'm very good at theory of mind, but i don't experience empathy the same way other people do and i'm disinclined to spend much energy on even TRYING to be gentle with weirdly demanding strangers, whether they're in crisis or not. like don't get me wrong, overall i try to live with compassion and i like to help people feel heard and validated when i can! the ability to feel empathy is not required to be caring or show kindness, and i'm happy to listen. but i spent too many years being yelled at for not setting myself on fire to keep someone else warm to ever feel particularly friendly about that sort of thing, so if some random stranger plonks their ass down in my inbox to vent and then throws an accusatory tantrum about not getting a quick reply, i am not going to feel ANY compunction about whacking them upside the head with the Potentially Upsetting Truth Stick.

especially because it sounds like that particular person needs a major fucking reality check from SOMEONE, holy shit. all three of those asks had a strong undercurrent of no one is doing what I want and I don't understand why!!!! and oh my god, dude, they aren't doing what you want because the world does not revolve around you. YOUR world revolves around you. THEIR worlds revolve around THEM. this is the case for everyone on Earth and you are going to be frantic and upset until you are able to wrap your head around it.

whatever. i hope they're able to feel better soon.

[lutelyre]

1, 5, 7, and 8, you know what fandom we share. :)

hiiiii lazy!! thanks for asking me!! <3

1. A character I used to hate but have since warmed up to: idk if i ever like hated anyone (outside of like, of course, Mukotsu. duh). but the first time I watched IY I had such a hard time getting excited/interested in Kohaku. He felt bland and wet blanket sad to bby me (fr i was in middle school. I wanted to watch the hot angsty teen dog boys, not the pasty middle school kid who alternates between looking like someone is about to steal his lunch money and just like. total dissociation, lol). BUT BOY OH BOY. Upon more recent rewatches as an adult I'm just like BREAKING MY HEART over this sweet scared child who becomes a competent killing machine and his royally fucked up storyline. truly, whump. He's much more complex than I initially gave him credit for.

5. A character I love but everyone else hates: okay yes, people don't like actually hate him, really, he's literally in of one of the MOST popular fandom ships. But imo people tend to judge Miroku p hard. Like the pervert stuff, i get it, i know. I get that those aspects of him are flaws that turn people off. that's valid. Perhaps bc he's a pretty main character and he's fun to ship with Sango, people like him despite that, and so I see a lot of correcting/changing his behavior in fic to make him moral/good and less slimy. I do like those fics too, and i do some of this tweaking in my own writing too, ofc. but i think instead of liking Miroku in spite of his flaws, i love him because of them, which is sentiment i don't see as often? I LOVE that he's immoral, that he's a little trash slut (affectionate), that he's sneaky and vain, a conman running for his life and taking what he can get. Give me a Miroku who's in over his head and still asks for more. Give me a Miroku who's shallow and desperate, who knows but doesn't tell. Give me a Miroku who's fucked up.

To be more literal in terms of a character everyone hates, i also really love Naraku. I think most people hate him indiscriminately bc he so quickly goes from "intriguing villain with unique backstory" to "oh god no not the BeEs AgAiN" (bee's here being a equivalent to an overused plot mechanic and unnecessarily complicated objectives), but hey, the bees worked, right!! We all kept watching anyway!! Now there's a trash slut. Main character energy baby, always. Naraku's nastiness is selfish and overwrought in the anime, but also weirdly fascinating to me.

7. An unpopular ship I’ll nevertheless go down with I am a multishipper tried and true, I love to put everyone with anyone. Did two characters I like maybe interact once in a single episode of canon?? Did they appear next to each other for 3 seconds in one anime opening song?? if so, then there's a 95% chance I've thought about what it could be like if they fucked. It is what it is; I'm like this for literally every fandom i dabble in. The point of this is to say most of the ships i like to write are "unpopular" bc rare pair hell is a real place. We don't have cookies but we do have fluffy cheerleader pom poms for cheering on unusual content. In a fandom like Inuyasha, where nearly ALL fics fall within 2-4 main pairings, it's fun to flex those rare pair muscles more often for all the juicy possibilities of this wonderful world and it's wonderful characters. IY rare pairs ALWAYS need more love. I contain multitudes, okay? On that note, a list of unpopular/rare ships that currently have me in a chokehold, in no particular order: Kagura/Kikyou Inuyasha/Miroku Sesshomaru/Miroku Inuyasha/Miroku/Sango poly!

8. A fan favorite ship I just don’t get Okay i just ranted about being a multi-shipper, so this is actually sort of tough. Even if there are pairings i don't find particularly interesting/stimulating, i've probably read fic and enjoyed fic featuring it. If pushed, Koga/Kagome is a pretty popular ship I have to be in a very specific mood to enjoy. Not to say i wouldn't ever read it, but it's are a toughie.

Of course, now I'm challenging myself to think about it and i mean... well... it's not like his whole vibe isn't hot af....i COULD see it if....

*trundles off to muddle things over in multi-ship land*

[burning-bubble-tea]

I feel weirdly sad today and it’s partially because a random lady was homophobic to me in a thrift store.

It sorta just tore a void into my gut where a space I’ve felt comfortable before became uncomfortable. I felt on edge for an hour after the interaction.

Was she actually being homophobic? Was she being rude? Was she just joking? I have no idea. All I know is that I said that I would’ve liked to get a pair of high heels and she walked up to me and said “you wouldn’t look good in them anyways”.

To me the implication I got was that I shouldn’t be wearing heels because I’m clocked as a guy. There was something so uncomfortable where this lady functionally denied my gender expression.

It’s not even like the shoes were ugly, they were plain white stilettos. But then she just said “they wouldn’t look good on you”.

I’m happy my family validated that what she said was at the very least extremely rude.

I just sorta was dumbfounded by what she said, I just said that I wear shoes like those for drag because for some reason I thought that she thinks I would wear heels like that regularly? Which if I did that’s none of her god damned business.

Then she sorta just said oh and I walked away.

I dunno I had a fun day overall today but like fuck.

I’m feeling weird and sad and it’s mainly because of that lady insulting me out of nowhere.

Like I know I look good or whatever that’s not what’s making me sad. What’s making me sad is that people like her exist. P

[weaselbeaselpants]

So I'll be real with ya'll, one of the reasons I took a step back from the lily orchard tag was because basically all of the critical blogs liked something I absolutely didn't and because we're all survivors of some kind of irl ab*se, the talk of that "thing" got me really heated and made me spiral out a bit...and a little worried they'd seriously block me if I didn't 100% agree on this matter. I really don't think they would, though I'm still really nervous about admitting what 'fandom' take was going around that made me weirdly emotional. If Britt and Courtney ever learn of it and think I'm bad by proxy then it is what it is.

-BUT

none of that will ever cover for the fact that Lily Orchard is still a cp-writing bigoted creep who's ruined video essays and bullies everyone in her radius. None of that will ever cover for the fact that I'm still on team "Lily Orchard is a predator/bigot", even if I'm not homies w everybody else. Mostly, I just really REALLY want some form of justice served to Lily for what she's done and keeps doing.

Because of what she's been accused of (and I believe of her, now) I don't care if she ever makes any kind of "solid" point or even has a take I actually agree w her on. Lily is a vile woman. She is her own kind of vile woman for various reasons. I will never forgive her and the image of her is stained beyond repair, the same way Brad Jones and Iillumanaughtii will always be ruined for me.

Every single point Lily has made against anything or anyone else has been made first by someone better. Someone better spoken, better produced and better researched. Someone who cares about the topics they are discussing. In a sort of opposite to the topic this post started as, Lily's the kind of person who will make you hate your own take if she happens to validate it in anyway. Seeing her involvement and trying to talk about real injustices and abuses makes my blood kinda boil.

I once saw her rb a post from a blogger I follow and deeply respect (whom I also really don't want to get involved in this; that person's busy enough and doesn't need anything more to be mad at) about blood quantum in ndn spaces. OP's post is sobering and powerful and GOD do I not want Lily getting her stench all over this very important topic.

Sorry. I've been holding that in for, like, way too long there. I still try to avoid talking about this woman while just rbing other people's thoughts on her, because every part of her life revealed is more horrifying than the next and my now unemployed ass really shouldn't be exposing myself to this sitch that doesn't involve me but which I'm pissed that nothing seems to be done about. Please, oh please 2024,

get Lily Orchard off the internet.

John Henry's hammer couldn't fall fast enough for some people.