#and it's this moment of holy crap I'm old

[jamiebluewind]

Oh no, I'm old

[anjee0]

Old friends

Female!reader x 2000's Eminem. (Feel free to put in your own oc insert as well)

Description - Y/n decides to have a little get together at her house where she gets to spark interests again with her old friend that she hasn't seen since high school.

Warnings - Explicit language, drinking, vomiting, pill or tablet taking

Requested by @heyitstial

Y/n adjusted the plant pot on the coffee table for the 100th time making sure it looked “perfect”. One of her good friends Dre was coming over with a friend of his and she wanted to make sure that her apartment was spick and span. Dre hadn't told Y/n who his friend was and whenever she asked he'd just respond with: “It's a surprise!”

Y/n sat on the sofa and patiently waited for Dre and his friend to show up. Moments later, the doorbell rang as its playful tune rippled throughout the house. Y/n immediately got up and dusted her jeans off before opening the door.

She was immediately met by Dre smiling at her widely with his arms stretched for a hug. Y/n hugged him as he felt his arms around her waist, engulfing her in a warm hug.

When Y/n pulled away she couldn't help but smile. “I've missed you. I haven't seen you in ages.” She said gleefully.

“For real. And speaking of people you haven't seen in ages…” Dre stepped to the side to reveal the Marshall Mathers standing right by Y/n's door.

“Holy crap! Marshall!” Y/n exclaimed as she hugged her old friend.

Her and Marshall were best friends with each other back in high school. They were inseparable and literally attached to the hip. After Marshall had dropped out of high school, they stopped seeing each as often. Then eventually along the way, they lost communication completely and hadn't heard from each other in a few years.

Marshall looked completely different from what Y/n could remember of him. His fluffy brown hair had been replaced with a bleached buzz cut and his teeth looked less crooked. He had small hoop earrings and definitely developed more muscles as well. He looked somewhat… cute.

“How do you guys know each other?” Y/n asked.

“I'm helping Marshall out with his new album. And while we were in the studio the other week, I told him how I was gonna visit you. He said you sounded familiar so I showed him that picture of us when we went to New York and he recognised you. So I decided to surprise you.” Dre replied.

“Wow, that is amazing.” Y/n said.

“Small world, huh?” Marshall said.

“Well, come in, come in.” Y/n said, stepping aside so they had space go inside.

Dre and Marshall stepped in and took off their shoes as they looked around at the living room. They observed in awe at how beautiful and well organised the place looked.

“Damn girl. This is great. How'd you get this?” Dre asked.

“Saved up enough money.” Y/n responded. “Uh, sit down.” She chuckled awkwardly. She wasn't really used to guests coming over to her house.

Dre and Marshall sat down on the sofa opposite to the seat Y/n was sitting in. They made themselves comfortable and leaned into the softness of the cosy sofa.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” Y/n asked.

“Hey, uh. Do you ever have people over here?” Dre asked, forgetting Y/n's question.

“Oh, uh no. You guys are actually my first guests here.” Y/n responded.

“Hey how about we invite a friend over and you invite a few of your friends over and we have a small get together? This seems like the perfect place for it.”

Y/n really wanted to say no, she wasn't the biggest party person out there. With work always being her top priority, she never really had time to sit down and relax or to go out with her friends. But being the people pleaser she was, she agreed. At least she'd have some of her friends over too.

“Who are you gonna get?” Marshall asked.

“I'll call Proof. I'll tell him to get drinks as well.” Dre responded. He looked over to Y/n. “Do you have a telephone?” He asked.

Pointed over to a small rounded table where a red telephone was placed. “Right over there.”

Dre thanked her before going over to call Proof. In the meantime, Y/n tried to make conversation with her old friend.

“So, how have you been?” Y/n asked.

“I'm good. I've got a kid now.” Marshall replied.

“Oh, that's amazing.” 

“Yeah.. her name's Hailie. She's 4 right now.”

“I bet she's adorable.”

“Oh yeah, she is the best thing that's ever happened to me.”

“Is the mother in the picture?” As soon as those words left Y/n's mouth she wished she could take it back. Sure, her and Marshall were great friends but she hadn't seen him ages, she didn't have to pry around in his business. “Sorry, that was a personal question. I shouldn't have asked that.”

“Hey, don't sweat it. It's you asking so I don't mind. But uh, yeah. The mother’s Kim.” Marshall replied.

“Kim? Like Kim from high school?”

“Yeah. We're… married now.”

“Oh…”

“You sound surprised.”

“Well, you guys were pretty on and off in high school.”

“Yeah, no I get that. Actually, Kim found out she was pregnant a few weeks after we broke up. We got married as soon as we could.”

“Oh, right.”

“Yeah, but uh, it's not the best marriage. We're always arguing and fighting over dumb shit. We've resorted to an open relationship now.”

“What do you mean by open relationship?”

“Well, we're both allowing each other to date other people since we don't really have feelings for each other anymore. At this point, we're just staying together for Hailie.”

“Oh, I think I get it. So are you dating anyone?”

“Nope. Sort of wanna focus on my new album.”

“Oh yeah. How's that coming along?”

“I think it's going great.”

“I'd love to listen to it once it's released.”

“I'll send you a copy.” He chuckled.

“I like the new look by the way.” Y/n smirked as she looked at his bright bleached hair.

“Oh yeah. Thanks. It's for my persona, Slim Shady.”

“Alright, I called Proof. He's coming over with drinks. Y/n, you wanna call your friends?” Dre asked as he hung up the phone.

“Yeah, sure.”

As Dre went to sit back down, Marshall, Y/n got up to call her friends. She picked up the phone and dialled her friend, Mikayla's number. It rang for a few seconds before she picked up.

“Hi there, Mikayla speaking!” She greeted Y/n in her usual cheery tone.

Y/n smiled hearing her friend’s happy voice. “Hey girl, it's me Y/n.”

“Hey, what's up?”

“So I'm having a little get together with a few friends. Wanna come over?”

“Ooh, who's there?”

“A few guys.”

“Are they cute?” 

“Yeah.”

“Fun! I'll dress extra well. What are you wearing?”

“Just a pair of jeans and a top.” Y/n replied as she looked down at her casual outfit.

“You're wearing that?”

“Yeah I know. Should I change?”

“Yes! Wear something sexy.”

Y/n could just feel Mikayla's wide smirk through the phone. “Yeah, but I don't know what to wear though.”

“Hey, how about that denim mini skirt I got you for your birthday and that cute tank top that you got from that Christmas sale?”

“That's great! I will wear that. Thank you.”

“Well, I am the fashionista friend.”

Y/n chuckled at her friend's joke. “Oh, and while I get ready, can you call Abi and let her know too?”

“Of course. I'll see you then. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Y/n hung up the phone and turned to Dre and Marshall. “Two of my friends are coming over. I'm just gonna quickly change.” 

Dre and Marshall nodded as you entered your room and locked the door to get changed. In addition to the mini skirt and tank top, she wore a black push up bra too. The tank top was a bit see through but that didn't mind her. Y/n took one last look at herself in the mirror before coming out of her room. 

“Looking good, Y/n.” Dre said.

“Thank you. I'm just gonna clean up the kitchen really quickly.” 

What she didn't realise was Marshall absolutely stunned at how beautiful she looked. He found her cute back in high school and couldn't help but notice how much more pretty she looked since all those years ago. The new pair of clothes she was wearing fit her perfectly well. The mini skirt made her legs look elegant and the bra highlighted her breasts perfectly. And to top it off, the tank top she was wearing bought the whole look together to make it all the better.

As soon as she stepped foot in the kitchen and closed the door, Dre immediately turned to Marshall.

“You like her, don't you?” Dre asked with a dumb smile on his face.

“As a friend? Yeah.” Marshall replied.

Dre slapped the back of his head and tsked. “Man, not like that. You're into her.”

“No I'm not, we're just friends.”

“Really, cause you were taking a good long look at her. As your face is red as a tomato.”

“It's just hot in here.”

“Man, stop playing with me.”

A few seconds later, the doorbell rang and Y/n immediately left the kitchen to open it. She was met by her friends Mikayla and Abi who immediately engulfed her in a friendly hug.

“You look cute!” Abi said.

“So do you!” Y/n replied. “You look cute too Mikayla, come in.”

Mikayla and Abi stepped in and immediately jumped onto the empty sofa. They came over often so they treated the place like their second home.

“Hey there, girls. Y’all look great.” Dre said.

“Say, you look awfully familiar.” Mikayla said.

“Well, I am Dr. Dre.”

“You are?” Abi exclaimed.

“The one and only.” He replied with a smile.

“Is he lying?” Mikayla asked Y/n.

“Not at all.” She replied.

“You never bothered to tell us?” Abi said.

“Yeah, we I didn't think you'd believe me.” Y/n said, sitting with her friends on the sofa.

“Dude, my little brother, Mike, is so obsessed with you.” Mikayla said.

“Oh really? Should I autograph something for him?” Dre asked.

“He wouldn't believe me even if I had an autograph.”

“I have a polaroid camera. I can take a picture of you both and Dre can sign it.” Y/n offered.

“That sounds great.” Dre said.

Y/n went to get her polaroid camera from her room and swiftly came back. Marshall got off the sofa to let Mikayla sit down next to Dre. He sat down next to Y/n as their shoulders slowly brushed.

Y/n bought the camera up to her eye, her finger hovering over the capture button.

“Alright, ready?”

“Ready!” Dre and Mikayla and Abi said I'm unison.

Y/n hit the capture button as a bright flash came from the camera followed by shutter sound. And at that same moment, Proof burst into the house with 3 six packs of beer.

“What's on you guys!” He cheered as he held the pack up and stuck his tongue out.

Marshall chuckled at Proof's energetic greeting. 

“Man, what took you so long?” Dre asked.

“Cashier lady was being a bitch. She thought my ID was fake.” Proof said as he sat down next to Dre. “What's up, Marsh?” Proof asked as he dabbed him up.

The polaroid developed and Y/n chuckled at it. Dre and Mikayla were smiling on the couch and in the background was Proof holding up the 6 packs with an energetic expression on his face. She handed it over to Dre and Mikayla who laughed at the sight of it.

“I'll sign my name right over your face.” Dre said teasingly at Proof.

“Man, fuck you.” Proof chuckled.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Dre said. “I bought a cassette with the tracks Marshall's done so far for his album.” Dre reached out in the pocket of his hoodie and pulled a cassette out.

“Why did you bring that?” Marshall asked as he tried to snatch it off.

“What? Let them listen, I think it's great man and you know it too. You got a cassette radio?” He asked Y/n.

“Yup.” Y/n reached under the TV stand where a cassette radio was. She took it out and placed it on the coffee table.

Dre put the cassette in and hit play. A few moments later, the first track started playing. It started off with a catchy beat followed by Marshall's voice. His voice easily flowed through the beat and his lyrics felt immaculate. Marshall groaned as he sat back on the sofa.

“I think it's pretty good.” Y/n said as she turned her head to look at Marshall.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“I'm being serious, Marsh.” She playfully pushed his knee.

Marshall jokingly flipped her off to which she happily returned the favour as old high school memories started flooding back to her.

As the music played through the background, everyone introduced each other and talked for a while. Proof eventually opened one of the 6 packs and passed everyone a beer.

“What is this?” Abi asked as she inspected the can.

“Beer, duh. Drink up!” Proof responded.

“I very much prefer Y/n's blue cocktail.” Abi said as she leaned her head on her friend's shoulder.

“It's Y/n's best cocktail. She works at a bar.” Mikayla said.

“What bar you work at?” Proof asked.

“Pink Pristine.” Y/n responded.

“Holy shit, you work at Pink Pristine?” Marshall said as he sat up.

“Yeah, I've been there for a while.”

“Ain't that the bar where all the rich people go?” Proof asked.

“Yeah, that's the one.”

“No wonder you got such a nice house.” Marshall aside.

“We love Y/n's blue cocktail. She always makes it for us.” Mikayla said.

“Blue cocktail?” Dre asked.

“I haven't found a good name for it.”

“Can you please make us some?” Abi asked. She looked up at Y/n with a pouty expression and wide eyes.

“I don't have all the ingredients for it, sorry.” Y/n said.

Mikayla and Abi both groaned in disappointment.

“Alright then, drink up!” Proof said.

Everyone cracked open their beer bottles and said cheers before drinking up. Y/n wasn't the biggest fan of beer; the bitter taste made her throat dry and left a terrible scent in her mouth.

“Anyone wanna try chugging the beer against me?” Proof asked.

“What?” Abi said in confusion.

“Me and another person both chug their beers and see who lasts the longest without stopping.” He explained. “Anyone up? Marshall?” Proof looked at him with a sly expression.

“Nah, man. I threw up like crazy last time.” Marshall said.

Proof looked around at everyone else, hoping for an answer. But he was only met with a thick silence. He was about to give up until Y/n spoke up.

“I'll do it.” She said, feeling determined.

“Alright then! Let's go! First to chug 3 wins.”

“Are you sure?” Mikayla said.

“I'll be fine.” Y/n responded.

Proof and Y/n both got ready to chug down their beers as Dre started the countdown. He did it slowly, which built up a lot of tension and a suspenseful manner.

“3, 2, 1… Go!” Dre said.

Y/n immediately started chugging down her drink as fast as she could. The bitter taste of the alcohol made her throat dry. However, she still continued to chug the drink down like it was nothing. She could hear everyone else cheering and whooping for them, encouraging them to go faster.

Y/n and Proof had finished their first can at around the same time and they were already onto the next one. She chugged that one down, already feeling the struggle to keep up. Proof was easily chugging it down like it was water meanwhile Y/n was scrunching her nose up at the scent.

When it got to the third can, Y/n could feel some of the beer trickling down her chin and down her neck. She decided she couldn't take it anymore and that she'd let Proof take the win. Y/n took the half empty cab off her lips, finally giving up, only for her to accidentally spill the rest of the beer onto her shirt and skirt.

The loud and supportive cheering was replaced by gasps. The beer had only made her shirt more see through, revealing her bra underneath more. She quickly got up to go change as her friends followed behind her.

“Yo, are you okay?” Proof asked.

“I'm fine!” Y/n called back before entering her bedroom.

“Did you guys see Marshall's face?” Mikayla asked quietly as soon as Y/n shut the door.

“No, why?” Y/n responded.

“He went all red and couldn't take his eyes off you.” Mikayla explained.

“He likes you!” Abi exclaimed.

“He doesn't. We're just old friends.” Y/n said.

“Old friends?” Mikayla asked.

“Yeah, we were best friends in high school.” 

“Did you guys ever date?” Abi asked.

“No.. but we kissed once.” 

“You did?!” Abi and Mikayla exclaimed at the same time.

“Shhh! But yes, we did. It was once. Then we never talked about it.” 

Y/n changed her shirt and bra out for something more comfortable. She decided to wear a sports bra and an old baggy shirt on top. 

When they came out of the room, Y/n could sense some sort of tension in the living room. Marshall's face was blushing red as a a tomato. He looked more embarrassed than flustered.

“Everything okay?” Y/n asked as she placed her hand on Marshall's shoulder.

“Yeah everything's fine.” He replied.

“Hey should I order pizza?” Y/n asked.

“Oh, yeah that's good. Let's do that.” Dre said.

Y/n called the pizza place nearby and placed an order for a large pepperoni pizza and for a large meat feast pizza too.

“Are we even gonna finish all of this?” Y/n asked as she sat back down.

“Hey, me, Dre and Marshall can easily have a whole pizza for ourselves.” Proof reassured jokingly.

A few minutes passed and the pizza arrived. Everyone was starting so they were pumped to get their hands on a slice. They all reached in and took a bite, feeling at ease.

Y/n could feel her stomach churn as she ate the pizza. Perhaps pizza and 2 and half cans of beer weren't the best combination to have. She started to feel queasy so she decided to have a glass of water. Y/n could feel that uncomfortable feeling in her stomach slowly drifting away from her as she finished the water.

As minutes passed, everyone decided to sit on the couch and talk with each other for a while as music radio played. As the previous song faded, a new one started to play. It started off with a snappy beat and then followed by a female voice. It was the type of music you'd hear at a club or at a bar.

“Ooh! I love this song.” Abi said, smiling widely.

“I like this song too. Care to dance?” Proof asked smoothly as he offered his hand.

Abi instantly put her hand in his as the both stood up to dance. They both put their hands on each other and held each other close as they swayed to the music.

“Guys, join in!” Abi said.

“Yeah, get your asses off the couch.” Proof chimed in.

Dre and Mikayla gave each other a look before shrugging at each other and going off to dance. Y/n looked at Marshall with a sly smile.

“Care to dance?” She asked.

“Why not?” Marshall said.

They both got up to dance along with the others too. Marshall placed his hand on Y/n's waist as she placed her ls on the sides of his neck. They pulled each other closer and swayed to the music. Their foreheads touched as the tip of their noses came to contact too.

Y/n felt the space around her getting hot and stuffy. Her cheeks came to a bright pink colour from the heat as she felt beads of sweat trickling down the back of her neck. 

“Hey, you okay there?” Marshall asked.

“Just a bit hot.” Y/n replied.

“Do you wanna step outside?” 

“Yes please.”

With that decision, they went out to the back garden where they stood on the wood porch. The sky was dark and looked majestic with the twinkling stars and bright moon staring down on them.

“You know what this reminds me of?” Marshall asked.

“What?” Y/n asked curiously.

“When we snuck into that disco that the school was hosting cause we had to pay to go.”

Y/n gasped slightly as the memory started flooding back to her mind. “I remember! We danced for a bit, we got caught and stole snacks.”

“Yes!” Marshall chuckled. “And then we just kinda sat outside and watched the moon. And then we were talking and then…”

“We kissed.” Y/n said softly as she watched the grass rustle in the gentle wind.

“Yeah…”

“That was my first kiss actually.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Not at all.”

They both looked at each other for a moment before leaning in slightly. But in that moment, Y/n felt her stomach getting queasy again as it tied up in twists and turns. She could feel a weird itchy feeling coming from her throat.

Shit.

She covered her mouth and turned around, vomiting into the nearest plant pot. Well, there goes her aloe vera. Marshall immediately held her hair up and stroked her back gently. His touch was calming and made her feel more at ease.

“Hey, if you don't feel well, I'll tell everyone to go home okay?” Marshall said.

“Okay, could you do that please?” Y/n replied.

Marshall quickly informed everyone about Y/n to which they were immediately concerned, especially Mikayla and Abi.

“Is she okay?” Abi asked.

“We wanna see her.” Mikayla said.

“She's fine but she needs space. It's best if everyone leaves.” Marshall stated.

“You coming with us?” Dre asked.

“I'll stay here to help her clean up. I can call a cab afterwards. I'll be fine.” Marshall insisted.

“Alright, man. Call me when you get home.” Proof said.

And with that, everyone but Marshall left. He took her to the bathroom so she could clean herself up while he cleaned up. He threw away all the empty beer cans and put the leftover pizza in some tupperware to leave in the fridge. He then hoovered and disposed of the aloe vera plant.

“Thank you, Marshall.” Y/n said as she stood by the doorpost on the living room door.

“Yeah, of course. I'm gonna get a cab and leave. Goodnight.”

“Wait.” 

“Yeah?”

“It's 2 am. You can stay over, I think that's best.”

“No, it's fine. Don't worry. I don't wanna bother you.”

“You won't bother me Marshall. You're my friend. I have a guest bedroom. Feel free to stay there. I'll quickly clean it.”

“Hey, don't bother. It's fine.”

“Please…”

“Okay, I'll stay, but you don't have to clean the room. I just need to call Proof quickly and let him know.”

Y/n nodded and bid him goodnight before going over to her bedroom to take a fully deserved sleep. After Marshall informed Proof, he also went to sleep on the guest bed and slowly drifted to a slumber.

In the middle of the night, Y/n woke up with the sudden urge to have a glass of water. Her mouth felt dry and she needed to quench her thirst. She laid in bed for a minute before finally getting up. She'd probably had to take a tablet too for her killer headache she was just starting to deal with.

She noticed that the light in the kitchen was on, Marshall was probably in there. When she opened the door, she was met with Marshall turning on the tap and getting himself some water.

“Hey.” Y/n said gently, not wanting to startle him.

“Oh hey.” He replied as looked up at her with a soft smile. “Also craving some water?”

“Yup. And something for my killer headache.”

She rummaged through her cupboards and found ibuprofen. She took some cold water, immediately satisfying the dry feeling in her mouth.

“Listen, about earlier outside. I'm sorry-” Y/n started.

“Don't be sorry.”

Before she could say anything else, he sealed her lips with a gentle kiss. The gentleness of kiss soon became replaced with the feeling of desire and having to fulfil a desperate need.

“Do you wanna sleep with me tonight?” Y/n offered.

“Sure.”

Moments later, Y/n found herself laying head against Marshall's chest and playing with the fabric of his shirt on her bed.

“I'm sorry for losing contact with you over the years.” Y/n apologised.

“It's my fault too.” Marshall insisted.

“Why don't we try giving this a chance?” 

“I like the sound of that.”

Marshall kissed her head before they both fell asleep in each other's embrace.

[unitato722]

hiii ive just read ur most recent post and holy shit you write good smut😭🙏 if youre taking requests could you do thigh riding donnie? PLSSDSJDKSK

Hey hun, I'm glad you enjoy my posts! I can 100% write my favorite beanpole for you.

Minors DNI

Donnie had been working lately, but then what was new? You knew going into the relationship, and even before that, that there would be times when you wouldn't see him for weeks. You had been waiting to see your lovable dork of a man for two weeks, pushing three, and while you normally wouldn't have minded, you had an issue.

You'd been laying in bed that night fantasizing about all these different scenarios in your head. Before you knew it your shorts were discarded and your favorite toy was shoved inside of you as you worked desperately to get off. But you couldn't.

Tears of frustration were coursing down your face hours later as your arm started to lose feeling from moving the toy inside of you, yet you still weren't able to cum. Was it because you and Donnie had been getting intimate recently? The memory of it causes fresh tears and a new wave of wetness between your thighs.

It seemed as if you were unable to get off by yourself, which only meant one thing...

You walked into the lair a few hours later in a sour mood. You scared Mikey half to death as he came around the corner with a plate of nachos, nearly throwing them in the air. "Holy shit dude! You scared the crap out of me!" He exclaimed as he clutched his chest with one hand and the nacho plate in the other. "What are you doing here at this time? It's like 1 am."

You rolled your eyes as you nudged your way past him. "Just had a bad day. I came to see if Donnie had emerged from his lair yet," you admitted.

As if on cue, a hollow crashing sound came from the lab. You bolted towards the door and yanked it open to reveal Donnie who was sitting in his rolly chair with his head in one of his hands. He looked drained, like he hadn't slept in days, and he probably hadn't. On the floor were two plastic cups in a puddle of what smelled like old coffee.

You approached your boyfriend and put a soft hand to his face. "Are you ok?" You asked as you looked him over.

"Yeah," Donnie breathed out in response. "I think I'm finished, but the final product needs to sit for 48 hours so I figured I'd get a nap in." He stared hopelessly at the cups on the floor again, looking for all the world like he was completely drained of any and all energy.

Luckily you were used to this, and you hurried over to the clean up station to get a wet rag. You could tell that the turtle wanted to protest but he couldn't bring himself to scold you for it either. He watched as you cleaned up the spill and washed your hands before coming to stand in front of him.

"You look exhausted," you nite softly.

"I feel exhausted."

A beat of silence passes as you look into each other's eyes. Finally, Donnie pulls you closer until you're sitting on his lap and gives your forehead a kiss. "Thanks for cleaning up for me sweetheart, you didn't have to do that."

You silence him with a peck on the lips. "Of course I do, you can barely stand," you retort. You take a moment to give him a slow, passionate kiss and you can feel all the tension rush out of his body as he melts into it. Once you break apart you stand, grabbing his hand to lead him to the bed he kept at the back of his lab. Your purple turtle boyfriend collapses onto the mattress with a groan and you giggle.

You shift your legs as you watch him lay against the bed, body all lean muscle and sculpted abs. As Donnie sits himself up against the headboard he groans again, this time low in his chest. "Fuck babe, I can smell you from over here," he eyes you, still at the foot of the bed and gestures for you to come closer. "Do you really like me that much?"

It's said teasingly, but as you crawl up the bed you can't help but nod. "I'm sorry, I can't help it. You're just... So attractive," you admit with a blush.

Donnie's cheeks heat at the compliment, not used to receiving such praises. He chuckles and lets one hand come to caress your face, churning when you lean into the touch lovingly. "If I had any energy left I'd ravish you."

You smile. "There will be time for that later," you insist, but Donnie shakes his head.

"Oh no, I can see that your pent up. Just look at you," he coos. "So needy aren't you? Why don't you show me how much you need it?"

The words hang heavy in the air for less than a moment before you're crawling onto his lap to straddle one of his large legs. You whimper as the large thigh beneath you flexes and Donnie lets out a hiss. "Holy fuck, I can feel you soaking through my pants," he groans out as his hands find your hips.

All you can do is moan in response to the friction. When your boyfriend tugs at your pants you're quick to strip them off, along with your underwear, before returning to your seat.

Donnie groans as you grind against his leg with fervor, heat building in you like it had earlier, although this time you were determined to see it through. So lost in finding that pleasure you were that you didn't see the turtle beneath you staring at the lewd wet patch you were making on his pants. If he wasn't so drained he would have teased you, maybe even edged you before taking you here on this mattress. But right now he was entirely focused on your pleasure.

A bounce of his leg has you gasping and clutching at his shoulders for some semblance of stability. "F-fuck," you pant out, "it f-feels so good~"

The steady up and down of his leg paired with the way his hands were moving your hips down had you seeing stars. Had you been more aware you might have been embarrassed about how easily your man was drawing sounds out of you with just his leg. But here you were, gasping and crying out as that string pulled tighter and tighter.

A hand found your face and moved it so that you were looking right into the eyes of your lover, and it caused you to topple over the edge. Donnie's eyes held a fire even through the exhaustion. The way he looked at you was thirsty and desperate, like he couldn't bear to look away from you. "God I'm so lucky," he whispered before pulling you down into a kiss as your high washed over you.

You moaned into Donnie's mouth as you fell apart on top of him before collapsing into his arms. A low noise caused you to look up at your lover, only to find him staring heatedly at the large wet patch you had left on his leg. Your cheeks heated as you dug your face into his chest in shame. "I'm so sorry Donnie, I-" you're cut off by his lips.

"Don't you dare apologize. That's the hottest thing I've ever fucking seen."

Too tired to change into new sweats he simply pulls you down to lay with him on the bed as he begins to doze off. "Don't get too comfortable now baby. Once I wake up I'm going to fuck you until you can't walk straight," he growls into your ear before nuzzling into your neck.

God you couldn't wait.

[winchester-24]

Holy crap! I'm addicted to your Sam choosing Ruby over us series! I need the next part please and thank you!! 🙏🙏

Here is the final part of the Ruby series! Thank you to everyone who has supported this series <3 I had a lot of fun writing it! You guys are amazing :)

Imagine Sam having to choose between you and Ruby (Final Part)

Sam improved significantly over the next two weeks. You would bring down food, you two would talk, and occasionally, he would complement you. He would say you looked beautiful that day or that you looked pretty. Your heart would flutter, but your mind would think it was a trick.

One morning, Dean was sipping his coffee when you came downstairs. It was unusual for the older brother to be up before you. He didn’t say anything when you walked in, so you made yourself a cup and sat across from him.

“I wanted to give you a heads up; I plan on letting Sammy out today.” You look up at Dean, who is already watching you. You slowly nod, thinking of things you have been pushing off for the last two weeks. Whether you will stay or go. “Whatever you decide,” Dean says, already knowing what you are thinking about, “You need to tell him.” You nod your head again, and Dean stands up; he walks past you and puts his hand on your shoulder.

“I know what kind of monster my brother was, but I know whatever he was- he isn’t anymore. I know that addiction messed him up in a lot of ways, but I know he still loves you.” Dean walked away, and a tear slipped past your eye and down your cheek.

You walked down the stairs. Sam was already standing by the door when you reached the last step. Bobby’s old house didn’t exactly make it easy to be quiet. He saw you and smiled as you walked towards the door.

“We are letting you out today,” you started. You saw his eyes light up, and a more extensive smile appeared.

“What? That’s great, I’m ready to,” You interrupted him.

“I’m leaving today.” You said as firmly as you could muster up. Sam stopped talking and gave you his famous broken puppy dog look.

“Why? I thought we were doing better; I thought I was making things right.” You sigh.

“Sammy, I just need more time, okay? What you did and what you put me through hurt and angered me, and I’m not ready to forget all that. I understand now that the blood (you still cringed every time you said it) made you think differently and made you do things you wouldn’t normally do, but it still hurt; I still have dreams about you with her. I still have this fear that I’m going to walk down here one day, and you are going to start yelling at me again about her. I need time.” You watch Sam, waiting for him to say something, but he nods in understanding. You give him a small smile, turn around, and start walking back up the stairs. He watches you, not blinking, because he doesn’t want to miss a moment of you still being around, even if you are walking away.

“I love you.” He says to himself, knowing that’s what he wanted to tell you but didn’t get the chance to.

Three years have gone by. You would see the brothers from time to time on cases. You would smile at them and talk about what you know, and then either they would take the case or you would. You never worked on it together. Before you left, you hugged each brother. You would tell Sammy it was good to see him, and he would say the same, but that was it.

That night, you would go to a bar and find someone to be with.

With the brothers back on the road, much more chatter was picked up at the roadhouse. You ignored it for the most part, but if a hunter asked you about Sam and why he wasn’t here with you, you would handle things a little too physically. It's not the best way to handle conflict, but these hunters are too nosey for their own good. Whatever unlucky hunter met your fist that night, you heard mutters afterward from others.

“Still a cold bitch.” Ellen would grab you another shot of whiskey on the house.

You felt better coming around the three-year mark. In between your cases, you casually would find someone and see them for a few weeks, but it never felt the same as it did with the boy you fell in love with so many years ago, so you would end it. You would do the one-night stands, and it was a nice quick fix, but it was never really your scene. You did a lot of self-care that a hunter could do. You did baths, wrote in journals, and even took up stretching in the morning. Every morning, you would giggle about how stupid you probably looked, just like Sam looked when he did it, but you must admit you felt better after stretching out all your muscles. It reached a point where you only wanted to see the man you fell in love with. To at least reconnect. You didn’t know if he found someone else then; you told yourself that you would be happy for him if he did. He never said he would wait for you; you honestly didn’t expect him to.  You called him.

He picked up on the second ring.

“Y/N?” He asked, not believing the caller ID.

“Hey, Sammy.” You said softly, a little more nervous than you were 10 seconds ago.

“Hey.” He said back; you could hear the little smile through his voice.

“Where are you guys at right now?” You chewed your bottom lip.

“Uh, some little town right outside of Bermingham, Alabama.” He responded. That was a day trip for you.

“I want to see you,” you said. He was quiet on the other end of the phone. You were about to apologize and hang up when he responded.

“I’ll send you the address.” You said okay and started packing. Two minutes later, an address came through on your phone. You put your stuff in your car and started your trip to see Sam.

You got there the next day after taking cat naps throughout the trip, gas, food, and all the essentials. It was right around lunchtime. To your surprise, the address was a restaurant, not a motel like you had expected. You pulled into a spot and turned the car off, seeing Sam sitting by the door with your favorite flowers. He still remembered. The restaurant was nothing fancy; it reminded you of O’Charley’s or Chili’s, where they serve everything. It isn’t too fancy, but it is not fast food either. You got out and started walking towards him. When he noticed you, he stood up and met you. He held the flowers out.

“If I remember correctly, you mentioned these being your favorite back in Illinois when we had to visit that Foral shop.” You took them and smiled down at them.

“Yeah, they are. That was five years ago, Sammy.” You look up at him, giving him a small smile. He stares at you and then clears his throat.

“I knew you would take a while to get here based on your road trip habits, so I figured you would be hungry for lunch when you arrived.” Damn, he was good. You nodded, and he led you into the restaurant, holding the door open for you.

The hostess sat you and you two silently, looking at the menu. After you two ordered your drink and Sam ordered you an appetizer, you noticed he was looking at you from above his menu.

“What?” You asked. He smiled and said softly.

“I’m just happy you’re here.”

“Don’t get all cheesy and cliché on me, Winchester.” You joke at him. When you decide what to eat for lunch, set the menu down and wait for Sam to finish selecting. Your drinks come, you order your entrees, and now you two are just looking at each other. Sam starts,

“So, what have you been up to since that last nest six months ago?” You tell him about your other hunts, trips to the roadhouse, trips to see Bobby, and your new hobby of journaling and stretching.

“Stretching?” Sam laughed. “I thought that was stupid.”

“It is stupid! I feel like an idiot when I do it, but it feels so nice afterward!” You giggle, defending the arguments you used to have with him. Throughout the date, because that is Sam’s intention with this lunch, you start to feel relaxed. Your nerves about seeing him go away, the anxiety of how you would react being around him is gone, and it is just happiness. You felt like you did all those years ago before Ruby came in and set your world upside down. You and Sam’s conversations are light and happy, with giggles and teasing, just like they used to be, but you must be honest.

“Sammy, I need to tell you something.” You say, becoming serious, unlike the conversation you were having with him. His face becomes serious, and worry etches onto every aspect of it. He doesn’t respond, so you just come out with it.

“These past few years, I tried dating other people. I tried to get over you and build a life with someone else. I had one-night stands on the days I would see you to try to stop thinking about you. I dated a guy for six weeks, trying to see if I could be with anyone else and erase you from my life. I couldn’t. I would always end up breaking up with the guy or leaving before the sun was up the next morning from a fling. That’s why I started journaling, stretching, and trying all these self-help things. I knew I needed to heal for myself, and I couldn’t find it in a guy. I just thought you should know.” You spoke. Sam nodded, and you could tell he was thinking about what he wanted to say next.

“I understand Y/N. I know I hurt you, and I put you through things that I would have never thought I would. You deserved to go out, find yourself, explore, and see if anyone else was out there for you. I was a jerk, a piece of shit, and the worst boyfriend anyone could have asked for during that time.” He looks down and then back up at you.

“I never knew if you would come back to me; hell, I still don’t know if you are. This could be a permanent goodbye date for all I know, but I want you to know that I waited for you and will continue to wait for you. I still haven’t forgiven myself for what I put you through, and that is something I will live with for the rest of my life, but these past three years, I have missed you every single day, and I was also so happy when we ran into each other, and I got to see you, even if it was just for ten minutes. I knew you were still alive, and there could be another chance I would see you again.” Your eyes were tearing up, dammit, Sammy. He continued his speech, and you can tell he rehearsed repeatedly.

“There is no one else for me. I don’t want anyone else but you. If you want to be done with me, I respect it, and I don’t blame you, but I want you to know what I wanted you to know three years ago when you left Bobby’s: I love you. I will always love you and never stop proving it to you if you give me another chance.” When he finished his monologue, you two looked at each other, not knowing what to do next. You had many thoughts running through your head, and he was too scared to ask what you thought. The waitress came by, dropping off the check, pulling you two out of your trance. He threw cash on the table, enough for lunch plus tip, and stood up. He offered his hand to help you out of your seat, which you accepted, but he didn’t let go after you stood up. You didn’t pull away, either.

He walked you to your car, the overcast hiding the sun with a little breeze setting in. You turned to look at him with your back against the driver's door.

“Thank you for lunch.” You said softly. Sam looks over your face. His eyes flicker to your lips and then your eyes. You hear him take a breath, and then he leans down and kisses you. His hands grip on your waist as he pushes into you, making you lean against the car door. You kiss back, your hands on his chest, and then slide up to his hair, which you intertwine into your fingers. He deepens the kiss as both of you fight for dominance, Sam winning. When you can no longer breathe, you pull apart from him, resting your forehead against his, breathing heavily. Sam looks into your eyes, hands still gripping your waist. His shoulders move a little as he breathes heavily. After a few moments, he whispers, eye contact never leaving yours,

“Was that a goodbye kiss or an I love you kiss?” You give him a small smile,

“I love you.” He has the biggest smile you have ever seen on him in years, and his eyes light up with joy before he leans in for another kiss, which you gladly return.

You’re finally home.

[bobcatmoran]

Given how in the newest episode, we (and Yuma) only saw Arc as a literal giant of light from the events of 14 years ago, and that Arc's appearance is based on a drawing done by 7-year-old Yuma, I'm going to headcanon that this moment was not only Yuma going, "Holy crap, I'm huge," but also Arc marveling at their appearance.

[keitorin3]

Picture this~

The Marvel Multiverse thing about your dreams but with Merlin.

So I rewatched the "Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness" and had this thought about what if Merlin had constant dreams of his alternate future-self before he came to Camelot.

And I don't mean his future-self in S5 but himself in the 21st century.

Like, this would confuse young Merlin who lives in medieval times and has these fantastical dreams where there are moving metal contraptions and steel birds and towering crystal-like buildings.

But most of all, I think that he'd dream of himself as an old professor or doctor. Like, we know Merlin knows how to read and write in S1 and that it was most definitely thanks to his mother, but what if he was more advanced then that?

What if seeing these dreams of another version of himself as a professor or doctor made Merlin truly want to be a physician with Gaius?

But what's more, he brings with him his 21st century mindset into his life like...

*Merlin hearing Kilgharrah*

Kilgharrah: Merlin~

Merlin: Yeah God? I'm kinda in the middle of a midlife crisis you know. Got tossed into prison by a gorgeous blond bimbo who will most likely be my crap boss in the future, so can't be insane right now sorry.

Kilgharrah: ...

Gaius comes in looking cross: Merlin you idiot!

Merlin: Nevermind, god take me now please.

*Merlin meeting Kilgharrah*

Kilgharrah: How small you are for such a great destiny.

Merlin: Holy shit, is this like Braveheart? Wait, no, sorry wrong movie I mean Dragonheart?

Kilgharrah: What?

Merlin: Are you gonna tell me we have to ban together to stop the King from doing something terrible because some dumbass stupidly gave him a gift or something to do with Life or Death and now the king is out of control and must be stopped?

Kilgharrah: ... *after a moment of self doubt and contemplation* Yes... After freeing me, yes. It is your destiny.

Merlin: Hmm, your kinda sus. How do I know you aren't lying to me? And if I have to kill some king can it be someone like Cenred? Total dick king, honestly.

Kilgharrah: *Ignores that for now and will debate destiny later* Your gift, Merlin, was given to you for a reason.

Merlin: So there is a reason for my dreams.

Kilgharrah: Yes-What? No, I meant your magic.

Merlin: But that's forbidden in Camelot, and besides, I need my head for when I become a physician!

Kilgharrah: You were made for a greater purpose Merlin. Arthur is the Once and Future King who will unite the land of Albion. But he faces many threats from friend and foe alike. Without you, Arthur will never succeed. Without you, there will be no Albion.

Merlin: Riiight... And then he and I marry, have brilliant blond children and live happily ever after, while working as a Physician.

Kilgharrah: ... No

Merlin: Then nah, blondy can fight his own battles. Been training to kill since birth I hear.

Kilgharrah: There is no right or wrong, only what is and what isn't.

Merlin: *mutters* What are you, a fortune cookie?

Kilgharrah: None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin, and none of us can escape it.

Merlin: OK, fine. I'll bite into the forbidden apple, but I'm most likely not bringing an Adam down with me. Arthur is a idiot but I don't see him changing within this century.

Kilgharrah: Perhaps it's your destiny to change that. *Then proceeds to fly off*

Merlin: Wait-! Ugh, thanks for nothing you useless reptile.

Lol, I can just image all the possibilities where Merlin makes a reference to something and everyone around him are just completely confused and just writes him off as a fool with a wide but intelligent imagination.

This was also greatly inspired by @theroundbartable post (here) of 21st century Arthur as King.

So much fun, like I think because of Merlin able to kinda see into his alternate self's life he has the modern perspective but still have the medieval stomach to survive. And, he goes about figuring out his magic using the scientific method of Question , Research, Hypothesis, Experiment, Data Analysis, Conclusion, and Communication. Like why does he not need to speak words? Is magic spells like coding? Or is it a force? Is he a Jedi or a Sith?

Considering flowers bloom when he's happy but rain and storms pour when sad or angry, he is likely neither a force of good or evil.

Merlin has all these internal thoughts and with Gaius, finally has someone to bounce theories off of (that's not Will of Hunith) and share knowledge with.

At some point Gaius would just suggest Merlin write them down (because Gaius is too old and can't keep up as fast). Taking his advise and spends his next pay check on a brand new journal.

And I can see Merlin and Arthur being the same old same old, but Merlin is more concerned for Arthur and Morgana's well being seeing as their only role model is emotionally abusing (and confusing) Uther.

So he'd team up with Gwen and set about trying to make both Pendragon Siblings happy.

And I better end here or else I'll go on and on.

Til next we meet fellow dreamers~! ✨

[togglesbloggle]

In some ways, my experience has been a shockingly powerful affirmation of that old Margaret Mead quote- "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." They pass it around endlessly as a vague affirmation, but holy crap is it true.

Like, much is made of Current Politicians suddenly erupting with comments and views that were recognizably incubated in our local subcultures, and that is such an endlessly weird feeling to me. I really did not have any sense, twenty years ago, that we were playing with live ammo in that way. Retroactive empowerment, I guess is the feeling. In retrospect, I'm really glad that younger!Toggle took his words very seriously, and that he mostly tried to make sure that whatever contributions he made to his community were considered, honest, and generous.

Speaking up, breaking silence, sharing the thoughts that nobody else has, resisting the dominant currents of discourse- these have a way of feeling small and personal in the moment, but you're always so much closer to changing the world than you think you are. Words and ideas have a power to them, even in the babble of social media or the dusty corners of some old bbs, a power you invoke every time you speak with intent. Ideas are worth being unpopular for, being disliked for, making enemies. When I was young, I don't think I quite knew this in the same way that I do now, not really. But I acted like I did. And that's made all the difference.

[silentwillowwhisperer]

Agree or disagree?

Wow, you probably want a one-word answer, but I'm gonna give you a paragraph (or maybe 7).

I feel like Lance would be laughing hysterically and nope out of the situation. Keith would probably scream or punch a wall first or at least have a lil broody moment to panic, but yeah after that he'd try to get out of it. Though, is this before or after the lion switches? Are we assuming that this is an au and the lions never happened? Because after the lion switch, Keith could probably be moved to the same category as Lance. But if it's before the lion switch, Lance would be moved to the same one as Keith/Hunk.

Though, yeah, Lance doesn't have enough self-value to believe that he's the chosen one. I think Keith would say no in a more, 'I don't care about your freaking prophecy, let me be broody and emo in peace.' They're both super insecure.

The one with Shiro made me laugh. It is SO spot on. Poor old man just wants a break. I think if this is after the lion switch/Kuron, then maybe Keith would be the one to jump in and be like, 'Nuh uh, stay away from my brother, if he dies again I am gonna be SO PISSED.'

Pidge... yeah. No explanation needed. There's a reason I'm emotionally attached to her/him/them. This angelic demon child must be protected.

Hunk! Poor Hunk. No, leave him out of this, I can see him giving them the biggest, saddest puppy eyes while he says that. He doesn't want to be the chosen one, I feel like the entire team would jump in and try to prevent that. But because he's a perfect angel, he would accept it to help him team and STOP IT THIS MAKING ME SAD.

Sorry bout that. Let's not talk about Hunk anymore.

Allura would see this as an obligation that she has, as a princess and as the (sort of) head of the Voltron coalition. She means those words completely, and will not let anyone down no matter what because this poor bean has too much pressure on her. The whole show was made to portray her as a serious, regal leader. However, she clearly has a dorky side, and her whole role/character would be so much deeper and engaging if this were a bigger part of her personality. 'I will not let you down, and I will be completely serious about it, and you will see the transition from when I was that fun older sister who you can confide in, to the scarred older sister who has seen far too much for one lifetime.'

Can we add Coran in? Because he would be in the same category as Allura, but he would whip out a cape from somewhere and be like, 'Yes! I knew this day would come! I will not let you down!' while twirling his mustache. (Holy crap I just heard his voice in my head crystal clear saying those words. His accent makes it sound so cute!) Coran Coran the Gorgeous Man saves the day! (And he would fulfill the prophecy perfectly, and there would be a giant parade with Coran-balloons and aliens swooning anytime he winks in their direction.)

So, yes. I agree with you.

[dee-the-red-witch]

Holy crap. I actually finished writing a story for the first time in AGES.

So, I'm gonna trat you all to the teaser for the draft post. Want the rest? Go hit the post link.

Old Ghosts

I'd felt bad about leaving this one to wait for so long, but to be fair, I hadn't known. You hear enough 'spectral hitchhiker' urban legends that you just tend to throw it off and dismiss it out of hand. Until someone had mentioned where. That was when memories clicked back together like tumblers in a lock and I knew where I had to be going next.

Central Washington. Just a bend of the road in westbound I-90, a bit west of vantage, still east of the pass by a good hour and change. It was the detail of the old power station and the trestle bridge that ran over the freeway that really picked it out in my head.

The problem was, it took timing. you didn't find ghosts by looking for them, you found them by being in the right place at the right time. I knew both, one from motorist stories, and the other from what I vaguely remembered, but it had to be exact. It was the fourth time when I finally got it right. Coming from the east, headed west, all intent on getting to Seattle before 9pm, and then there I was, entering the turns just past the windmills that now churned along the side of the road just past sundown, the sky that deep deep early spring blue that it hits just in between the sun disappearing and full black settling in. Thankfully they still hadn't installed the giant LED streetlamps over this stretch of I-90 yet. I don't know if those coming on would have broken the mood or not, but as I moved onto the shoulder and slowed down in the last turn right at the power station I could feel it. That tight whine in the back of the ear that I'd always associated with high-tension lines and towers, but had, in the last couple years, become an indicator of a few other things as well. I brought the car into the last turn, a left that took the freeway under the old trestle bridge now trail bridge in a few hundred more feetand parked it on the shoulder next to the guard rail, switching on the hazard lights and doing my best to hopefully be far enough off the freeway for anyone who slid a little too far right on the corner.

I stepped out, feeling the March wind rip at my skirt and coat, and was immediately glad I'd grabbed the thermal leggings underneath this time around. At least there wasn't snow. and then I saw it about fifty feet ahead of me- part of the guardrail twitched for a second, like a slightly-out of tune tv station, intact one moment, and a wide open broken gap in the rail the next, then back to unbroken steel on 4x4 supports. Fuck. I'd have to time this. I slowly approached it, keeping a count in my head. solid for thirty seconds, then intermittent flashing, then broken for a clean five seconds, back to intermittent and then solid. on a loop, thankfully so I wouldn't just be guessing, but still it was tight enough that I had reason to worry. try and walk though at the wrong time and I'd just hit the barrier of the rail and probably throw the whole thing off, wreck tonight completely. I watched it loop again, checking against the count in my head. When I got to twenty seconds of solid I closed my eyes and started counting down. Sometimes going in blind helped. Eight seconds. I took two steps forward, edging closer. Five. one more step, lining myself up with the gap I remembered. Three. Deep breath. One. I stepped forward, hard and fast, boots turning the loose roadside gravel ans I walked straight forward, through air that seemed to almost resist me for a moment, and then nearly fell down the steep slope on the other side, eyes opening in startlement as I slid for a few feet before catching myself.

Want more? Go get it here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/old-ghosts-102735746

[jisunghannie]

Healthy and Happy

PAIRING: Bangchan x fem!reader

WARNING: Mentions of death, gore, car crashes, injuries, blood, hospitals, reader in a coma, reader, reader being called jagiya, swearing, and Chan getting hurt, physical contact (slapping, etc).

SUMMARY: You and Chan were trying to get to the car but you kept waking up in a dream after every death you had experienced. Was it a dream? Apparently it was, a dream of life or death.

WORD COUNT: 2,436

A/N:

.°•○>><<○•°. = POV switch

.°• ✿ •°. = Flashback/Present time

`○°.• ✿ •.°○` = Timeskip

-ssi is used to describe someone older (Maknaes, Changbin, and Hyunjin use this to address you!)

-ah is used to describe someone younger (Lee Know uses this to address you!)

It was another day as you and Chan had another date. It was like date after date after date. It wasn't a bad thing. You loved it. You loved being spoiled by him and being shown off by him. He never wasted a moment with you.

All the STAYs were oblivious to your relationship with Chan. You had always taken his pictures for him in public. He loved them and posted them on his instagram. He was so happy he could barely keep himself from kissing you after every picture you took. You loved it though. After the last date. You were on your phone admiring the pictures and next thing you knew, you heard Chan yell out.

"Y/n! Watch out!" You heard Chan's voice as you got hit with a car. As everything went black.

When you woke up. You woke up in a cold sweat. Scaring Chan awake he listened to your dream.

"But you don't get it Channie! It felt so real!" You told him as you were pulled into a close hug. "If that were to happen I think I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I just watched you die." He told you seriously as you kissed his cheek. "I'm not going anywhere Channie." You said as he hugged you tightly. "I know jagiya... but it feels like you are..." You laughed at your silly boyfriend as he looked at you with his big eyes.

You and Chan had more time as you watched him perform and dedicate songs to you. You smiled every time you thought about all of the songs.

"Y/n-ssi, how long have you and Chan been together?" Jeongin asked as Chan wrapped his arm around your stomach. "Since high school. She's been with me for a long time." He said kissing your cheek as you giggled. "Since his senior year and my sophomore year." You said as Felix's eyes widened. "Holy crap, Chris you are a preda-" Before Felix finished his sentence Minho jabbed his elbow into Felix's side. "Relax, if you think about it y/n-ah is just 3 years younger than Chan."

You smiled realizing that moments like this would never get old. Realizing how long you and Chan had been together had made you feel like you were the luckiest ever. You were with your first love since high school and he has even been your high school sweetheart. You couldn't believe time had passed so quickly. You wanted to have time stand still. So you could be with him forever.

"Jagiya, you okay? You look deep in thought." Chan asked as you looked at him kissing him.

Jeongin and Seungmin turned away, Felix and Hyunjin were eating so they didn't pay much attention, Jisung was play-flirting with Minho again and Changbin just stood there. "Real mature Bangchan." Changbin pouted as Chan smiled at him after the kiss. "You're just mad that you can't find someone as good as y/n." Chan said, sticking out his tongue to tease Changbin. You smiled as Chan put on your shoes for you. "We are gonna head out." He said as he took your hand and helped you up.

After you hugged everyone, you told Chan that you were going to go across the street to get to the car first. He nodded as he took out his keys.

When you walked, you saw on your left a car was speeding in your direction. You were halfway down the street. You ran to try and reach the next half of the road but you didn't.

You ended up getting hit.

Your last memory before you blacked out was Chan hugging you, drenched in your blood, begging you to stay with him. And then.

You woke up again.

You had the nightmare again. Chan once again woke up and you explained your nightmare to him. You told him how you had a dream in your dream that you had also been hit by a car as Chan hugged you. Just like he did in the dream.

"If that happened, I would be there for you and quit my job and, and-" You kissed him to make him shut up. "Channie, I'll be fine." You said as he sighed. "I think we should go to a hospital to get it checked out." He suggested as you sighed, "Will that put you at ease?" You asked as he nodded smiling. "Then let's go." You said as he got up and got ready.

On your way to the hospital, you and Chan were hand in hand the whole time. Once you guys had got there the doctors there had told you guys that nothing was wrong and that you were just stressed. You guys then left.

"I told you it was nothing Channie." You told him as he smiled. "Sorry, I just thought it was concerning." He said embarrassed as you laughed. A crowd passed you guys and you guys had gotten separated. You planned to cross the road, you were careful this time and pressed the button waiting for it to let you cross. Once it shined to let you pass. You walked across. And just then. You saw a car. Speeding. Chan had seen you and ran to you pushing you out of the way.

When you hit the floor, you turned and Chan had gotten his right arm run over. "Channie!" You yelled out as you ran to him. Hugging his body with his gushing arm. It wasn't torn up but it was very bloody. He smiled and kissed your cheek. "It's okay. I'll be fine." He said as you cried and hugged him.

"Just wake up jagiya... I just need you to wake up..." Chan said as you woke up from another nightmare.

What the fuck was happening.

Again, you continued your constant cycle of being hit by a car or Chan getting hit or something. But it's always involving someone getting hit by a car.

The last nightmare was horrible. You knew that it was just a nightmare but why was it repeating?

One of the recent nightmares wasn't as bad, just slightly weird. You had woken up and washed the dishes that were flooding up your sink.

"Hey lover," He said, hugging you from behind as you did the dishes. You smiled. This was like your everyday routine. However, the more you thought about your normal routine. The more sad Chan looked.

"What's wrong Channie?" You asked as you caressed his cheek. As you felt tears drop on your cheeks.

.°•○>><<○•°.

Chan knew that it was a nightmare. He held you close to him as he cried. "Please wake up... don't be stuck in this coma forever..." He cried as you were in a coma, hooked up to different machines and everything. He had been banged up in the car accident that sent you in a coma.

.°• ✿ •°.

You guys were in JYP Entertainment and had to go back home to get rest for the concert the next day. As you guys had walked to the car, a car flew by you guys, hitting both of you. The impact was so hard. Chan was knocked into the car and you, into a lamppost. You're head hit the lamppost causing you to black out and Chan to black out.

The next thing he knew, he woke up in a hospital a week later. You were unresponsive but still alive. Chan ran over to your room with the little strength he had as he looked at you. You were unconscious for a week just like Chan yet unable to respond. He was heartbroken. "Bang Christopher Chan," The doctor said as he looked at the doctor. "Be aware that Ms. l/n may not wake up for a while. It'll take her some time." He said as Chan looked at limp body.

Over time he recovered and had to perform again, but these days he was stressed and tired. He slept less and less the more worried he became.

"Bangchan, you should take it easy." Hyunjin said as shook his head. "If I do who will take care of y/n and... and who would make sure she is okay and-and" He was stuttering, he was extremely stressed out as Minho grabbed his shoulders. "We can deal with y/n-ah. She would be heartbroken to see you like this." He told Chan. Chan understood what he meant but it just didn't feel right. "Just relax." Changbin said as Jisung nodded and smiled. "We can always help you out too Bangchan." Jisung said as Felix smiled and Seungmin hugged Bangchan.

For the first time, he cried. In front of his members. He cried.

You were so important to him and losing you was like losing his whole group. Even more. All of you guys were important to him. He didn't want to accept the fact that you could be in a coma forever.

.°• ✿ •°.

It had been exactly 10 months since you got into your coma. Chan didn't know how to feel, he covered your medical bills but didn't know what else to do so he read to you every day and showed you his new songs.

He hoped that you would wake up. He always wondered why it had to be you. He wondered why it couldn't be him. He knew you didn't deserve it so why did it have to be you? That he didn't understand. He just-

"Bang Christopher Chan?" A voice called out as his eyes darted to the door. It was your sister. She never approved of him. He held your hand tightly. "I'm sorry... I really-"

He was cut off by a slap to the face.

"I knew you were a bad choice the minute my sister introduced me to you!" She yelled as she hugged you, tears welled her eyes. Begging you to recover. "Why didn't you tell me or any of her relatives!?" She asked, screaming. He knew that it was his fault for not reaching out. But he knew it was better than them being stressed out.

Once she realized the eyebags under Chan's eyes, the puffiness of them, the books by him, the scar on his eyebrow, the tears that stained his cheeks, along with the red mark from the slap she covered her mouth in horror.

"Did... you...?" She hesitated as he nodded.

"I didn't see the car and when I did it was too late... I blocked her but," His voice cracked, "The impact was too strong and I let go once the crash happened, but..." His voice breaking as more tears rolled down his cheeks. "I should've just thrown her out of the way if I would've just woken up a week later..." He cried as your sister looked at you. "How long has she been here for...?" She asked as Chan inhaled, "She's been here for 10 months!" He yelled out horror painting on your sister's face as he bit his lower lip, biting back his sobs.

Your sister hugged you tightly. "Come back little sis... I know you're in there... please... I know you can hear me... wake up if not for me... wake up for your boyfriend of damn near 10 years..." She said as Chan chuckled lightly and held your hands, kissing them.

.°•○>><<○•°.

You continued to have these nightmares. You didn't know whether or not it was because you were stressed or if something was seriously wrong. Whatever the reason was. You were suffering and you could barely keep it together. If this is what torture felt like. You'd rather die.

"You can't leave me, not like this!" Chan yelled as you cupped his cheek. Closing your eyes, wondering when the next time you'd wake up.

Except this time, you woke up in a hospital. You were taken aback to see a sleeping Chan. You caressed his head as he woke up and hugged you tightly.

"Oh jagi!" He tripped over his own feet. You giggled weakly as he helped you up and took you to the doctor telling him that you guys we're going home. The doctor nodded which you thought was weird. You were more cautious this time. And this time you were right to be cautious. A car, speeding by as you pulled Chan.

"It's like you knew that car was coming." He said, impressed as you sighed, "I kind of did..." You admitted as Chan laughed, "That would've been bad if I got hit like you did wouldn't it..." He said jokingly as you looked dead serious. He then cleared his throat and took you to the car. "Shall we?" He asked as you giggled. "We shall." You replied.

You drove home happily with Chan until. You guys got into yet another crash. You sighed waiting for the next awakening, you wanted this to stop as you closed your eyes. Hoping it would just stop.

.°•○>><<○•°.

Chan looked at the heart monitor as he noticed less and less beats from your heart. "No, no, no, no, god no!" He yelled as your sister started screaming for a doctor.

Doctors came in as they performed different things on you to keep you from passing on.

Chan comforted your sister as she cried. In the waiting room. She sobbed for about a day. When the doctors came out they sighed and told them that you were fine but the next time that happened you might not be so lucky.

This broke Chan's heart. He didn't want to see you pass. He wanted to be with you, he wanted to see your laughs and smile, but he just knew it wasn't going to happen. At least not yet anyway.

He was still optimistic and wanted to have you close by his side. He knew that much.

.°• ✿ •°.

More time had passed, Chan was still very much sad that you hadn't woken up yet. He couldn't believe that it had almost been a year since you went into a coma. He was so hurt, unknown to what could happen next. He changed the water from your flowers and picked the ugly petals. It was one of your habits. A habit that never quite left him. He smiled as he looked at you, hoping you were sleeping peacefully. He smiled.

As he looked down, his tears hit the soil that had been buried over you as he was on his knees.

"I love you jagiya... happy 10 year anniversary..." He said as tears poured down his cheeks as he sobbed and choked out all the tears and cries he could in that moment.

[misculenica]

A love letter to the facial animations... And Solas's design.

I just love that first encounter with Solas, and how telling it is if you really pay attention.

We all remember how giddy he is, perhaps he even has a playful nature to some. He seems utterly delighted that you're there (of course he is - you're going to fix all his problems).

Knowing Solas, he always came across as someone who is very bad at hiding his true feelings about things (he can't help but declare everything/point out how clever he is/how wrong everyone else is) - he's an awful liar. He's quick to correct himself, but not quick enough to not let you know exactly how he feels about something.

Looking at in in more depth with hindsight of who he is and what's really going on, it's just that extra layer of ohhhh that's interesting. Praise to the creatives involved in the storyboards/animation/facial expressions, because hot damn it's beautiful to look at.

So let's go frame by frame like manaics. (yes, it's because I'm writing fanfiction and wanted more insight into his thoughts/character)

The first closeup we get of him is this;

This is not a happy man XD

I would suggest he's just unhappy with you (I believe I mentioned in another post that Solas throughout the game has a sort of grudge against you for being the cause of all this - besides himself + Coryphidkfdfsdfus), but given the situation, I don't blame him for being on piss-mode.

But just... The way he stares at Inky just hits so hard. Imagine this guy you don't know grabs your arm and gives you this stare - it'd scare me more than the demons XD

That, and the fact that when he does the thing, he looks at you

It just- whether it's my writer/artist heart or just my solavellan heart hitting me with this idk. Just nnnf how come I never noticed this.

And the first rift is sealed, and Inky stares at him all like O.o "What did you do?" And he responds "I did nothing. The credit is yours." But there's this second/half second pause of interesting aniimation from Solas that I think deserves attention/applause.

Here's his immediate response to "What did you do?";

He's staring at the mark - with such intensity - before his brain catches up to 'oh right, respond solas respond'

And as soon as he makes eye-contact with Inky, it turns to this;

The difference in these expressions hits me right in the vhenan. I really want to congratulate the animators for this, because holy crap that's a lot of information about a character and their mindstate in the space of a couple seconds - pretty much a 'blind and you'll miss it'.

And then the rest of the scene, he pretty much has the same head tilted to the side, vague smile on his face, 'I'm just going to twiddle my fingers in front of me' look happening - and it kills me.

(Also it's slaying me that Solas is leaning down as if he's speaking to a child)

All humble and appeasing, until you look away.

I particularly love this next part, where Varric tells you Solas kept you from dying in your sleep. And he just has this;

Like; "yes, what do you think about that?" turn to look at you, instead of any verbal confirmation.

They rest is pretty much similar. Though I just adore the contrast of his expressions when he's 'in the moment' and then 'in character' - it's so goddamn telling from the very beginning.

I would kill to install flycam - if anyone can give me details on how to install a flycam for Inquisition (I've tried before, but any links I get taken to have dead sites/pages)

And I just want to share a happy egg.

Part 2

I now have flycam installed and it works, however- controller isn't an option and i don't have a numpad on my keyboard XD gonna have to dig out an old keyboard!

But overall the software works and i've been able to use it! Success!

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Holy crap I’m loving your writing! Im especially obsessed with Ken and the ranch owner

I’m wondering if you’d be willing to do an fem human reader x Ken where the reader gets a bit sick, nothing too serious but Ken absolutely freaks out and thinks the reader is dying or sum (he learned about death from Stero Barbie. Also spiders. He’s terrified of both) and the reader thinks it’s a bit funny so she’s like “yeah I’m dying” but then he gives her the most terrified and sad kicked puppy look and she has to explain that it’s just a cold lol

Awh thank you!! Im glad that ppl still love my barbie movie stuff even though barbie summer has come and gone 💔

........

There were only two things that Ken feared after beginning his new life in the Real World:

One is the mortality of humans, as Barbie told him all about how fragile their lives were and the two paths they were given: either growing old and dying peacefully in their beds, or some terrible occurrence cutting it short long before their time on this earth was up.

The second was spiders.

He especially hated the spiders.

You only recently discovered he had that fear after finding one of those 8-legged critters in your house--or more specifically in his room, where he came barreling out from as though he accidentally set something on fire.

At first, you thought he really did start a fire until he dragged you back into there, begging you to get rid of the "strange beast".

You had no clue what he could possibly be referring to....and then he pointed to the corner, where a little cellar spider sat completely unbothered, weaving its web.

In that moment, you realized you may have turned him arachnophobic, considering you did show him one insect-themed horror movie this past Halloween. He kept freaking out over it potentially growing horse-sized or injecting venom into his bloodstream when he was asleep.

But despite you assuring him neither of those things could happen (and insisting that the spider was more afraid of him), Ken refused to go into the room until it was gone.

You find it hard to fathom that this same doll who led an entire revolt, came to terms with his own identity crisis, and bravely made the transition to humanity....was totally inconsolable in the presence of a tiny bug.

Then again, maybe showing him that movie--and allowing Barbie to explain why arachnophobia was among the top fears humans had--was a huge mistake.

Regardless, you made it your mission to get rid of the critter.

Oddly enough Ken insisted that you didn't actually kill it, but you found you it sweet that he valued its life despite it scaring the shit out of him. So you contained it in a cup, putting a napkin underneath it before releasing it outside.

After that, you mentioned how most people usually killed spiders and other pests that invaded their home.

He looked wildly uncomfortable at that fact, before he began talking about some rather... concerning things: like if the spider knew how short its lifespan was, how easily it could have been crushed, if it feared death or if it was even aware of it at all-

Before he could derail and start rambling about death itself too much, you stopped him, asking if he was feeling alright.

And he went quiet for a moment, before smiling and giving you a kiss, reassuring you he felt better.

Yet even as he left the room, he still appeared awful tense.

It was that day where you worried that it's more than just spiders he feared..

.......

"Babe, what's wrong? Are you sick??"

"...unfortunately, but it's nothing serious. Just a stupid cold I caught at work." Sighing tiredly, you sat up in bed, seeing Ken walk into the room.

He looked nothing short of horrified at how drained and exhausted you sounded this morning. "A-Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I don't want you to catch anything, so I'm sorry...but no kisses today."

"Then..what about tomorrow?"

You just rolled your eyes, drinking some tea you made for yourself. "Maybe, but we'll see if I wake up."

Although it was meant to be a little joke, your foggy brain forgot how seriously the blond often took jokes, and he rushed to your bedside, kneeling down.

His eyes were wide as he took your hand. "If you wake up??? Are you dying??"

Putting down your mug, you sighed once more, trying to figure out a way to remedy this situation before you upset him too much. "No....I mean I just feel like I'm dying, but.." You paused, noticing the tears coming to his eyes. "Ken?"

Now that he was a lot closer, you could see the utterly terrified look on his face--as though you kicked a puppy right in front of him.

Yep, it was already much too late. He was upset.

"I-I know tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone, but you have to get through this, [y/n]! Please..I can't lose you, too...not when you've done so much to help me." He was extremely close to crying, his lips trembling.

Your heart sunk as you placed a hand ober his own. "Oh honey, I was only kidding around when I say-"

"Why do humans joke about death so much? Don't they know y-you...you can't come back? That they have such short lives?? O-Or sure, some believe you can be reincarnated but that doesn't make it any-"

At this point, he was just blubbering nonsense, so you took him into your arms. And for a moment he fell silent, before burying his face into your chest, trying to calm himself down. "I-I'm sorry.."

"No, no..I'm sorry. You're right..I shouldn't be joking about death around you." Frowning slightly, you stroked his hair. "I promise I'm not dying. Not today, or tomorrow..not for a long, long time. This cold will pass and I'll feel better soon enough."

".....a-are these the irrepressible thoughts of death Barbie had?"

'Oh.'

It finally hit you.

He was going through the same thing she once did.

"Ken.." You had him sit up so you could see his face. Aside from it being a little red and his eyes puffy and watery, there were tear marks trailing down to the stubble that had formed along his jaw and chin. "Why didn't you tell me you were having those thoughts?"

Sniffling, he just shrugged. "I don't know. And... I don't know why I'm thinking them. Barbie could blame it on somebody who was playing with her, but...I can't. Because I'm not a doll anymore, I'm human....a-and...those were my thoughts alone." He shuddered, terrified at that realization. "I guess I just..didn't wanna scare you, b-but obviously it's too late for that..."

A small chuckle came from him, although it dissolved into a small sob as he wiped his eyes. "S-Sorry, I....I want these thoughts to just pass already."

"And they will." You nodded, squeezing his free hand reassuringly. "It looks like you're just experiencing them for the first time, and that's okay. They won't be all you think about. And you don't have to apologize for how you're feeling, as long as you're honest with me."

"Th-Thank you.." He sniffled. "I should be taking care of you, not the other way around. Do you need you anything? More tea? Meds? Anything at all?"

You smiled fondly, leaning forward to kiss him on the forehead. "You're all I need right now, sweetheart."

That response seemed to bring Ken's giddy old self back, as he smiled bashfully in return. He melted back into your arms when you wrapped them around him, and he listened to your heartbeat: the only assurance he needed that you were still living.

Eventually...those thoughts of death did pass him by, and he felt okay again.

[t0ast-ghost]

S2 Episode 9 (Metamorphosis) Wait wait wait. I'm watching this episode on April 5th, this is so special (I know this won't be posted till days later but holy crap):

- I like hows there's just a mission that somehow requires the captain, first officer, and head medical officer to be on the same shuttle escorting one person

- I will not blame McCoy for anything (sorry. not sorry actually)

- They always take the Galileo

- Oooh pretty lighting

- "I'm not imagining you am I?" "We're real enough." Kirk what kind of fucking answer is that?

- "Food to a starving man. All of you." Saying this after he just shook Spock's hand is crazy…

- They’re conferring

- So the companion wants.. companions?

- SPOCK ITS BEHIND YOU

- The companion snap crackle popped the shuttle and Spock

- “It attacked you?!” Bones is shocked. “I’m not a scientist or a physicist, Mr Spock.” He says this with a smile and it’s such a moment between them

- This episode is like “if you love me let me go” and it’s such a deep love between them and holy shit

- hey siri what’s a “Judas Goat”?

- THEY FUCKING SHOT HIM

- McCoy watching his boyfriends die and begging the companion to stop

- “It isn’t your fault.” “I’m in command, Bones. It makes it my fault.” “How do you fight a thing like that?” “Maybe you’re a soldier so often that you forget you were also trained to be a diplomat.” Bones advice!

- Okay it just violently goes back to Scotty’s log. YESS UHURA AND SULU CONTENT!

- “It’s a big galaxy, Mr. Scott.” “Aye…”

- McCoy’s just standing there looking pretty next to Spock and Kirk in this episode, isn’t he?

- “The idea of male and female are universal constants, Cochrane.” Bull fucking shit, mate

- “You’re not a pet. You’re not a specimen kept in a cage. You’re a lover.” “I’m a whut!?”

“For all these years, I’ve let something as alien as that crawl around inside me, into my mind, my feelings…” So he wasn’t upset when he thought he was being treated as a caged animal/pet by a male or non gendered entity, but as soon as it’s a woman who’s in love with him... (its fair that he’s freaking out but like…what?)

- The boyfriend’s explaining why this guy should continue to date the cloud of sparkles. McCoy and Spock can agree on smt at least

- “No. I- I don’t want to die. I’ve been good at my job. But… I’ve never been in love. Never. What kind of life is that? Not to be loved. Never to have shown love. And he runs away from love.” This is such a heartbreaking and beautiful scene from the Ambassador

- “Companion, do you love the man?” “I do not understand.” “Is he important to you? More important than anything? Is he… as though he were apart of you?” SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP WHAT IS THIS

- “But you can’t really love him. You haven’t the slightest knowledge of love— the total union of two people. You are the companion, he is the man. You are two different things. You can’t join. You can’t love. You may keep him here forever. But you will always be separate. Apart from him.”

- Jim just poured his fucking heart out and we know it was about them I’m dying and crying about this

- “What did you hope to gain by that, Jim?” “Try to convince her of the hopelessness of it. Love sometimes expresses itself in sacrifice. I thought maybe if she loved him… She’d let him go.” Oh my the parallels of it. This is about Spock and McCoy. He wants to be with them, but he knows he can’t let them go and so he sacrifices himself for them. Leave me alone in this hole of misery and self deceit.

- Loneliness, oh god the loneliness. Her eyes show so much in this scene

- I love when bones stands there like a NPC or lego character (oh my god I want a Bones Lego figurine)

- I’m just going to say it. I think this guy is bisexual. And it’s not just because of the colour of the sky.

- “As long as you grow old together.” You know who grows old together…. I’m fucking going I’m going off. Spock, McCoy, and Kirk grow old together (is what I’m getting at)

What.. what happened to me. This episode.. bye…

(Edit: I know canonically they’re not dating but I like to take all the evidence I can to support it. So if some of this stuff is a bit nonsensical… I’m sleep deprived as shit and it’s finals)

Masterpost

Episode written by Gene L. Coon

[hislittleraincloud]

Old Man Rambling

Yanno, I kinda miss the days of Tumblr where you kids were identifying as inanimate objects. There were kids IDing as kiwis and biscuits. Biscuitkin, kiwikin, shit like that. It kept this place relatively quiet because, well. Inanimate objects don't make much noise. And it was amusing as shit because there was always a teeny tiny part of y'all who knew it was all goddamn bullshit, but you never let the razzing force your masks off. You wanted attention and ya got it. You still kept to yourselves, even though you were thoroughly obsessed with your otherkinship.

But now. Holy Hell.

The current "kids'" personal lives are so hollow and so horrible that they've resorted to policing the lives of people they don't even personally know (celebrities, particularly young Hollywood). The identification is so strong that what they love so obsessively* couldn't possibly be anything else but what and how the heavily biased observer wants to see them as.

It is for that reason why I do sympathize with Ortega, if only a little (she did choose this life, her parents could've stopped it at any time knowing how strange celebrityhood has changed throughout our decades alive). Social media is evil. We did not have this when I was young, when the young Winona Ryder who is being splashed all over my fyp was posing for those photos, we only got to see them on paper, in magazines, bro. We didn't have all of this creepy connectivity where there was a very good chance that a celebrity would see our comments. It just was not like that at all.

So I get it, I get that it's changed and it can be really hard just to be a regular person because everyone has a goddamn video camera in the palm of their hands with videos ready to go online within seconds. It's shitty, and probably one of the things that's killing pro paparazzi (though in some cases it's made them worse); anyone and everyone can get a scoop now.

And if that's the case, why are kids behaving like paparazzi, knowing what the paparazzi did to Princess Diana (and Britney, offering up those umbrella photos out of their context of her situation that hardly anyone really knew about). The Chappell Roan concert footage is the best current example of that (I've removed the one part that I briefly posted as promised), and I've seen the biggest Wenclair accounts pass that shit around here like it's normal to invade a girl's private moments. And in some instances, using Photoshop/AI to gaslight people into believing crap that never happened. It's RPF to the worst degree, and it isn't cool.

*ETA: I started writing this last night before I passed out from the heat, but now I want to go back to the obsessive fan thing (partially bc of my recent experience here). User name redacted because I don't want to give her any more attention:

This ain't cute and not to be normalized. Had a male done this, it would've been seen as creepy.

It's this level of obsession — and the false sense of closeness that social media connectivity brings — that gives the Ortega stans a sense of entitlement over her (personal and professional) life that they do not have a right to influence.

And as someone who has studied and observed adolescent psych for decades, it amazes me to see young ♀️ adolescents behave like stalkers and get a pass for the behavior just because of their gender. Some of the most dangerous stalkers can be female, since they're not always taken as seriously as the males (male stalkers aren't always taken seriously either, so think about how much less female ones are). Jodi Arias, Victoria Rickman, Shayna Hubers, Liz Golyar, Vegas Bray...the list goes on and on.

It's obviously not a direct comparison; I'm not saying that what the kids are doing is necessarily dangerous for the object of obsession (since there is no direct relationship and physical access) or that it even has the potential to get violent (doesn't seem so), but it's not always entirely harmless.

Now, I understand that obsession is a thing with adolescents. I've seen it first hand. One of my favorite films is about the very type of 🏳️‍🌈 obsession that forms between two girls sometimes**, and features Kate Winslet's first screen kiss with a ♀️.

Most of us old farts grew up in an era where acting was acting: Even with the lack of connectivity, we knew Kate Winslet and Lyndskey weren't gay, but we still adored and appreciated the performances. Same goes for Hillary Swank in her Oscar winning role as 'Brandon Teena'; we knew she wasn't a 🏳️‍⚧️man. It was acting. More than half the cast of the original L Word was straight, and there wasn't anything close to this kind of creepy stalker crap back then.

Sadly I think that the more connectivity there is, the less real connectivity happens, and that presents obsessively attached fans with a false sense of security that would crumble if the people they worship turn out to be something contrary to the image in their minds that they've cobbled together from their celebrity's public behavior and works.

I don't think this type of delusion was present with Biscuitkin and Kiwikin. The foodkin did nothin' to anyone but exist, and food is food. The Ortega stans are fucking scary and need to cut it out. It's made fandom a scarier place for celebrities, because the Internet is forever and you're out there showing just how twisted up/potentially obsessive towards people you can be. It may not be embarrassing to you now since you have this false sense of 'community', but out there where y'all actually have to talk to real people and get on with real life crap, this type of behavior wouldn't fly. In 15 years when you're not a pimply, awkward high schooler/early college-aged person, someone might ask you how you spent your teen/high school years when a good chunk of it was scrolling through social media for pics and y/n stories about your favorite actress (and sometimes her co-stars).

[x0401x]

Hi Flávia,

I'm Israel Figueroa from Mexico. I love your translations of Violet Evergarden Light Novels.

I bought the VE Chronicle Official Fanbook and I noticed this place in the Tellsis map called Lownwell or something like that.

It's located in the Northwest part of the continent, in the Kingdom of Lontano. The location matches with Crownwell, the site of Altair prison.

I want to know if Crownwell and Lownwell are the same place.

Hiii, omg. Thanks for this ask! I'm really sorry for taking so long to reply. I haven't had much time to log in lately. ;v;

This one is a detail that went completely over my head, holy crap. So back in the day, when I was translating the novels, I tried to make my life easier by scanning all volumes and turning them into text with a scan app. This saved up a lot of time whenever there were words or expressions I didn’t know, which happened with a certain frequency because, as a steampunk novel, VE uses old words for everything that is nowadays written in katakana but used to be written in kanji in the past, like “coffee”, “motorcycle” and “bus”. Thing is, sometimes the app acted funny. The scanner would misread the text at random moments and turn the characters into something else (sometimes "brooch" would become "prooch", for example, because it would read “bu” as “pu”). Apparently, this happened here too, where it read "ro" as "ko" (candid mistake since ロ and コ are indeed very similar) and I didn't realize it, so I translated it as "Cornwell". So thanks a lot for pointing this out! I'll fix it when I have the chance!

But now I'm wondering how to translate this word, because it most certainly doesn't exist, lol. I'm willing to take a wild guess that Akatsuki meant it to be "Lonewell". Not sure if this is a real name, but it makes a lot of sense in the context of the chapter.

[spaceacerat]

are these not normal? they were in your tags from this post

Hello! I wasn't sure if you mean blisters, or random moments of pain, so I'll assume both! I tried to separate the sections.

TW: medical neglect, medical abuse from doctors (I think it counts as that anyways, especially under the cut), mentions of skin-based injuries

(I apologize, this ended up turning into a scrambled medical rant because I have a lot of big feelings about how kids/teens/young adults can be completely ignored for even very noticeable signs of disability or issues and grow up suffering for it. I'm also just very tired and feeling weird and am in a ranty mood wanting my pain and suffering to be heard 😭)

BLISTERS:

On the case of blisters, I have little frame of reference for how often normal people blister, but my partners never seem to. Whenever I look into it, normal people apparently blister from shoes being too tight, or hiking or something very strenuous.

If your skin blisters with heat or certain fabrics, from wearing shoes even if they fit, clothing, sleeping, sitting, standing, or walking, or comes off easily from a mild bump into something, it is Not Normal.

My old PCP, when I finally asked him about it, was stunned, and did a biopsy when I had blisters I didn't have to pop. He thinks it's Epidermolysis bullosa simplex, but I can't get an official diagnosis without a genetic test that insurance doesn't cover apparently, and the dermatologist I went to was useless.

I would give advice on how to deal with it if anyone is ever interested, but what works for me probably won't work for everyone.

I don't know how it's supposed to be dealt with according to medical science, and I'm apparently (according to a partners nurse mother) very lucky I haven't gotten an infection. After all, I do it the broke person "here's my value pack of sewing pins and some paper towels" way, not the "I have access to medical resources and specialized sterile needles/bandages" way.

PAIN:

In regards to feeling pain most of the time, I've had one of my partners ask what level of pain I'm usually at, and I shrugged and went "Ehh, most of the time a 1-2, sometimes a pang of 3, a 4-5 if something specific hurts, at worst a 6-9 if somethings wrong like a migraine or whatever." He then wisely told me "You know what level normal people are at most of the time? A zero. Most people aren't in pain unless something is wrong."

I suppose that put things into perspective regarding my health, after years of just dealing with random bouts of sudden health issues I had to deal with usually completely on my own growing up.

(side note, watching something like lord of the rings as a kid, which involved a lot of scenes of them all just walking or running, would make me cringe because "holy shit they must be in so much pain :( they're so brave, and so strong for still walking and running for hours when they surely have blistered by now! I hope they have plenty of sewing needles to pop them when they stop to rest!" because my dumbass couldnt even walk around an amusement park for a day without limping badly and slowly while being told to hurry up by an older sibling, and these guys were walking and running for months on uneven terrain. Still jealous about that >:( )

(more ranting under the cut but about other things I've come to realize weren't normal [AKA specifics about the skin disorder/medical issues] or just makes me mad because suddenly I just feel the need to about my personal medical crap. Maybe someone will see it and see themselves in it. Sorry about that 😅)

in reference of the tag, I meant how I blister. I came out of the womb missing skin, and have always blistered around my body very easily. The docs claimed it was eczema when I was a baby, and they didn't bother looking into it further, but from the few people I have met who have that, they don't show any of my symptoms. Meanwhile I grew up thinking it was completely normal, and that everyone was just walking around in pain and ignoring it better than me.

I can't wear tennis shoes/heels/sandals/flipflops/crocs because the backs always rub my ankles raw and they're too soft so every step they rub around my toes, (or flip-flops would just tear the skin between my toes) but I had to grow up wearing tennis shoes all the time. That meant every night after school I'd come home and have to pop the blisters to drain them before I could sleep. Now I wear flat combat boots with two pairs of socks and it's so much better, but still not perfect, since I can't really walk outside in the summer.

I've blistered from walking, sitting, lying down, being outside in the heat, sweating, sleeping with my thighs touching, all sorts of things. Skin can also come off entirely if I get scratched or bumped into something. One time my leg got stuck at a bent angle because I fell asleep without popping the blister behind my knee, and it dried to the point where I couldn't pull it apart without pain.

Something else about that is that I'm allergic to adhesives and latex. The few times I've 'had' to wear bandaids were hellish, as it would remove the entire top layer of skin with it since it blistered under it. When I had to do an allergy test with the adhesive (dermatologist decided it had to be an allergy, because he's a dumbass), I made them cut them and put them on my arms instead of my back, where they promptly blistered after a few hours and I had to peel them off myself with a leather belt between my teeth to keep from chipping a tooth (because when I say it was incredibly painful, thats a massive understatement).

No one around me cared that I was suddenly having to lean against walls and furniture to get around because my legs wanted to give out from under me due to sudden muscle weakness and a pounding heart/chest pains/dizziness, or the few migraines I got in middle school that made me throw up a few times which weirdly made the migraine go away after enough times doing that. Or my limping from blisters, or the medication side effects that showed up when I started taking antipsychotics.

On note of medication, none of the psychs I went to told me about medication side effects. I was 13 when I started Seroquel (my guess is because they wanted to sedate me because of a whole fiasco, my partners nurse mother was shocked when she found out I was on it at such a young age for what were incredibly mild bipolar 2 symptoms). It caused me to pass out a few times, and I just had to keep taking it despite it actually making my depression/hypomania incredibly bad through the rest of middle and high school, because I wasn't aware I should tell my doctor it was making me worse. Never got bloodwork for it either.

After a while I switched meds, but was still having the worst depressive symptoms and my hypomania got even worse. One of the ones a doc had me try basically short circuited my brain. I had a five second memory if that, was shuffling around leaning against everything trying to stay upright, could barely think or talk outside of slurred words... My family saw this, and just went "You good?" and when I half-muttered a 'yeah' because I couldn't think straight enough to realize I should say no, they just shrugged and asked if I could do the dishes. I shook my head and went back to bed, passing out for 10 hours. Refused to ever take that medication again once I woke up, despite my psych trying to tell me I had to give it at least two weeks to start working properly. Fuck that.

When I show signs that something is wrong and I mention it to someone, and everyone brushes it off, it becomes normalized in the brain. But it's not. Now that I have partners who grew up going to the doctor for their problems, they're horrified, especially when they see me actively struggling with it. I had an episode (sudden muscle weakness/chest pains/pounding heart/dizzy) last month in front of them, and they were seriously debating taking me to a hospital but I kept refusing and saying it would pass because it always did and I wasn't afraid. It did eventually pass after about 7 hours, but not before scaring the shit out of them.

And these were the same signs I showed at work, twice, neither time I went home. I worked as a janitor during one of them, my manager saw but didn't think to do anything. I still managed to clean, but I did lie down and pass out in one of the back offices for a few minutes and just got up and went right back to work because I didn't want to get in trouble.

Also, a shout out to the laundromat I was forced to continue working at when I had covid!! I thought I was dying but they wouldn't let me take work off until I had a positive test, so I was forced to work the place completely alone for 8 hours during the first three days of major symptoms because I was desperate to keep the job and didn't know I could just refuse or call someone!! I mean, have you ever had to wash/dry/fold 200+ pounds of laundry completely alone in one night while every part of you thinks you're dying, and then on top of that having to deal with customers/machine issues, lift heavy trash bags, and clean dusty airvents and the rest of the place aka bathrooms and floors?? It's incredibly awful!! I did my damndest to keep my hands washed to the point where the skin came off a bit on one of my fingers and wearing a mask constantly while trying to keep my distance. Worst three days ever.