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#and it's really fucking hot & humid
katierosefun · 2 months
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Hello :))) So, i was today years old when i learned you had a girlfriend (if i’m not mistaken) and somehow it means a lot to me as you’re one of my comfort blog and that i’ve been struggling with my own sexuality for a while. (I hope it does not come off as weird this is really not my intention 😭) So i was wondering if you would mind sharing how you two met as i love hearing about queer love stories coming from real people and not only in fiction (somehow i need to be reminded that yes, it can happen in real life too for me??) If and only if you’re comfortable doing so of course!!!
aww hi anon! first of all, thank you so much for the kind words--i'm so glad to hear that my blog is a source of comfort for you. and also, re: your sexuality--i'm sending you so much love! i know how scary and how overwhelming it can be to still be figuring out your sexuality and navigating your own queerness, so please remember to have some compassion for yourself, and please know that you're not alone.
as for my girlfriend: yes! i do in fact have one, and we've been together for a little over a year and a half now. we'll be going on two years pretty soon, which is all very exciting!
as for how we met: it's all a pretty funny story, because we actually met while we were both in college. and also right during that first covid summer too. we started off as long-distance friends, bonding our love for star wars and writing.
anyways, i totally had a crush on her, although i was trying to play it off most of the time. the fact that we lived in separate cities was another factor too, of course.
fast forward to a few years later, when we've both graduated college. i've just started my first year of law school; she's working at this point. we're still texting and calling each other a bit, and then i tell her, oh yeah, i'm going out on a date with this guy.
and just like something from a kdrama or a movie or something, this ridiculous, lovely woman texts me as i'm boarding the bus for my date. her text? hey, i dreamed about you last night! we were sitting on a park bench together and we were holding hands :)
and of course, at this point, i still have a disastrous crush on her (hence why i spent a lot of time dating all these random guys in my junior and senior year of college, because i was like i gotta just get over this), but anon, that text message was the other shoe dropping on my brain. i decided right then and there that enough is enough, i'm gonna call her tomorrow and tell her i like her, so she can't just say stuff like that anymore because i don't think i can take it anymore.
so we arrange to have a phone call the next day, and we chat, and of course, true to form, i have to have some liquid courage on me (peach soju, btw . . . but turns out, if you're jittery enough, you don't even feel the alcohol, because i still remember every detail). anyways, at some point, we're chatting, and then i blurt out, "i like you."
and she goes, "i like you too."
and i went, "no, i mean i like you more than a friend. as in i like you."
and she goes, "uh, yeah. i like you to do. the feeling's mutual."
and of course, i didn't know what to say to that. like, i swear i was just like "??? what?" because the thing is, i had this whole speech planned out in my head--something like i like you, and you don't like me like that, so i'm sorry that this is awkward, and i can just take care of my own feelings, but i just really needed to say that so that we're both on the same page--
so to say i was pretty stunned would be an understatement! so cue a lot of laughter and flustering, and fast forward to today, with her living with me for the summer (because of course, she'll need to go back to work and i'll have to go back to school once august hits), and we talk about how many pets we're going to have one day (she has this hobby of sending me videos of increasingly exotic animals and going "??? so can we have this as a pet? :)"), and we've talked about what our wedding is going to be like (as well as what our wedding will not be like) . . .
this is just a whole lot of details, but as you might be the first one to ask me about this lovely person on this webbed site, of course i'm going to ramble and gush--but anon, to give you some hope here, queer love is a beautiful thing and it certainly happens.
personally, i would love to go back in time and find my sad high school self and go "hey, hang in there, because you're gonna be lucky enough to finally fall in love with someone who's kind and warm and patient and loving, and she's going to encourage you to be a better person, and she's going to make friends with literally every single stranger on the street (much to your partial exasperation and partial wonder), and she's going to be really bad at staying hydrated, and she's going to take so many photographs of everything, and she's going to make friendship bracelets on your bed, and she's going to almost fight the secretary at a dentist's office for you (while you tug at her sleeve and go come on, i'm fine, let's just go), and she's going to recite and write poetry that you keep both on your walls and also in your head, and her grandma is going to show you the dorkiest photos she has of this silly, lovely, beautiful person who you love."
so: all that to say, anon, i hope that gave you some hope! it's such a long journey for some of us, but i promise that queer love is out there and healthily alive, and yeah, sometimes they're just as good (or even better) than those that you find in fiction :)
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anotherdayforchaosfay · 10 months
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There are areas that have four seasons, areas that have just monsoon/wet season and dry/fire season, and areas where they get months of light and months of dark. Of the seasons you have experienced, choose one.
If I missed a season, sorry. I'm stoned and sleepy.
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neverendingford · 6 months
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#every time a character does the whole “talk softly and reassure the dangerous person” thing while also walking ominously towards them ughh#it drives me absolutely nuts. like. you're trying to talk them down from paranoia while you're threateningly walking towards them?#someone does that to me and I'm shooting them at least in the leg or stabbing with whatever makeshift spear I've manufactured#anyway. criminal minds is getting real annoying with the whole pathologizing of people.#like. guy shows signs of being very good at torturing people and they go “ah yes.. a pure sadist” or whatever the fuck#I get that it's shitty crime drama stuff but still. ugh.#I just. I fucking hate when people take the obviously wrong route when talking to mentally destabilized people.#like. people are shit at talking to suicidal people. are shit at talking down irrational fears. people are shit at talking down paranoia.#I hate how people don't fucking know how to interact with freaks I hate how people don't know how to interact with me#everyone acts on their own level without understanding what it's like in any way#and so everyone just projects their own reality onto you without performing any sort of empathy or exercising any sort of understanding#and I want to scream so fucking loud#you're all living in a cotton candy world and your words disintegrate in my humidity#and it's so fucking lonely#and my mind has been clear this past week. the autistic need for pressure satisfied by this prescription pushing on my brain#and I can feel the cogs turning. the wheels and pins and linked gear trains and drive shafts and traction band motors.#all the parts of my brain churning around and I can't get close because the heat from my motor makes my hood hot to the touch.#I burn your hand as you try and press your palm against my flanks.#only think saddle and tack make contact. strict guidelines and harsh rules to govern me.#when I am free I buck and I shift gait and I drag you under too-low branches#also. compared to Hannibal I can basically listen to criminal minds as a podcast. none of the visuals really contribute anything to the show#like. feels very shallow
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raksh-writes · 27 days
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Oh to write a line that is such an emotional punch to the gut you have to take a break and maybe even go on a walk, like oof
#Raksh's writing ramblings#it took a lot of tweaks and a lot of time just sitting there staring at the paragraph but damn does it hit now#Im actually kinda shocked how well it works#and since its so hot and humid and absolutely godamn awful today that my brain feels like mush#this might be a good point to leave it on today and pick back up on tomorrow#kinda sucks Im only able to get around 600 words a day#But after almost a year of writer's block I'll take it with open arms#(my thesis can wait a lil'm more 🙈🙈)#btw Im writing the final part to the VegasPete time travel AU#and its mostly Vegas' and Gun's confrontation so that's already heavy stuff#but these lines Gun just said to Vegas? oh my god#I might've peaked right there and then#hopefully that'll stay relevant and won’t sound like shit when I get back to it tomorrow 🙈😂#but so far Im having so much fun and it's beginning to look like it might become one of the best things I've ever written#it just Flows and Im letting myself go with the style and its just-- so nice 😩#lots of parallels and lots of implications and mirroring in this confrontation between father and son#might become my favourite bit too#and Id prob appeal to no one but me 🙈 but ehh Im happy with how its turning out and that's important ^^#and if anyone else likes it then thats just an added bonus ^^#now Im gonna go lay down and rest for a bit bcs this heat wave really is killing me#over 32 degrees Celcius with Zero wind snd humid as fuck#I was Not made for this :')
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daddy-ul · 2 months
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Going to London for the first time tomorrow (well, I'm leaving for the airport in 7h but you get it)
Happy about it, two of my best friends in the world are waiting for me there but I am SO nervous ajananana ahhhh, why do I always feel like shit before a trip?!
Send me all the positive vibes! If you have some tips, cool cemeteries, lush parks, second hands dvd/cd shops to suggest feel free to comment down here or hit my askbox.
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fantasy-costco · 2 months
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Growing up in Texas gave me a very skewed idea of my own heat tolerance. Because the thing is that if you move somewhere cooler you lose heat tolerance. But I still think of 80 degrees with high humidity as relatively cool for July. But I forget that I lived in Illinois for seven years before moving back to the coastal south and also I don't go outside unless I'm being paid to. So I put on jeans. Maybe even a short sleeved over shirt. Because I think I can handle it. I can't. It's too fucking hot. It's too God damn hot.
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grymmdark · 2 months
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my bra is made out of a weird material that gets really uncomfortable when it's wet and starts chaffing, which is really weird because it's a sports bra so you'd think it'd be designed to do the opposite of that. but unfortunately not wearing it is equally as uncomfortable bc of underboob sweat so i am stuck having to choose which way i wanna suffer today
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swingingliveaway · 3 months
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I got invited to a kind of get together / birthday party thing earlier this week which sounded fun, but also kind of really triggered my anxiety (I know why, but that doesn't make it less annoying), so I decided not to go and let the people who invited me know, and now I'm anxious about whether they think that was rude. I hate this brain.
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lz-01 · 3 months
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queenofthedork · 4 months
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Taking a little break for the weekend and maybe a little bit after cuz I will be at a con and I always need some time to recover afterwards
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mpregemiledurkheim · 4 months
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was i hot today or was i holding my face weird (autist trying to analyze why people were staring)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#it's so weird trying to describe yourself when u really aren't something u used to be#like until i was probably 21 or so id say i was shy. very very shy. but now im like was that even true? was i ever shy bc im not now#maybe i was just quiet and anxious. maybe thats just what being shy is. but im still both of those things but im not shy#im sorta like a hermit. i dont really go around ppl if i can avoid it but i dont hate being around ppl. its just that im less anxious when#im alone. but if u put me around ppl i like to talk to them so im not shy. ill say whatever. i dont really give a fuck#but if u throw me in a group i go back to being a non entity. i guess thats just being an introvert with an asocial streak#thats a thing i noticed while i was at the grad weekend i attended in march. the group would gather and do things while i kinda just#wandered away from them to poke at trees and sit in the snow. i dunno i just feel better away from ppl. my brain gets a lot louder if ive#been too social. which is a shame bc its interesting to watch ppl and understand how thry work#my friend came over to day goodbye before i leave next week. which was nice. i wish we would have hung out more in person but so it goes#and i think in my head im a lot more contained thst i actually am. like if u set me a task that becomes my focus but im also sorta all over#the place. partly bc i think my brain works on like a lag. and also my mood is a little elevated rn so im sorta like *jazz hands* and#talking too fast and too much and oversharing. yesterday i was instrucing an undergrad and felt so bad bc my brain was all over the place.#could not b made linear. im tired now tho bc theres nothing more draining than being emotionally honest and talking for like 2hrs. woof. it#so hot. like fucking so hot bc the monsoons have started and humidity is up so my swamp cooler is fucked and its gotta b at least 80 degree#inside my apartment. holy christ. and the temp has been over 100 degrees for like at least 2 weeks. its so hot its kinda alarming. and im#glad my friend was also freaked out by how hot its been bc oh god its hot. and i cant focus. ive done fuck all today. but i did get rid of#couch which is so so so great. ugh. someone make the sun stop making it so hot#unrelated#its been over 100 degrees outside for like 2 weeks. not on my apartment#and when i say i wish i spent more time with my friend irl. i mean it in a distant sort of way. like thats how im supposed to feel. like i#dont kno if thats actually what i feel or i kno im supposed to b social but idk if i actually mean it
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intertexts-moving · 1 year
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hiiii !
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gobbluthbutagirl · 1 year
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the full list of complaints i have about my former shithole apartment is obviously extensive and i’ve obviously gone over them on here before so i’ll refrain from doing so again now but the two main things are of course UGLY AS FUCK and SMALL AS HELL like if i had to guess square footage i’d say under 300. so it’s like. obviously i want something at least A LITTLE bigger than that this next time around! and i need a Real Kitchen with Real Oven obviously. and floors that aren’t ugly as fuck old dirty carpet. but beyond that i’m like…hmmm…should i go for a one-bedroom? because i was paying $1425 per month for my shithole and i have seen one-bedrooms in the $1500-$1700 range. but there are also literally bigger & better studios than the one i used to live in in the $1150-$1500 range. so i guess it really just depends on what’s available once i start Really Looking. and also somewhat on how much whatever WFH job i wind up getting will pay me but i’m only going to apply to jobs that pay at least $18-$25 an hour so i will be making more than i did at target No Matter What. and of course there is the old “you need to be making 3x what we’re charging” adage but GUESS WHAT! i had zero problems paying $17k a year in rent when i made between $30k-$35k a year in pre-tax income, i also managed to save $5k during the time period that i lived there, my credit score is quote-unquote “very good,” i have documentation backing all of that up, AND i’m VERY persuasive. so i’m honestly not super worried about that one right now.
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heybobbygirl · 1 year
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I don't think I should be held accountable for anything I say tonight I feel like I'm made of jello and I don't think that's good
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nothingweirdhere · 1 year
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been awake for 36 hours….. now i sleep
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