#and it's on my house of black/julia playlist :)

[whatsnewalycat]

Psychomanteum / Chapter 12

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x OFC Louella (2nd POV)

Chapter 12: Ghost in the Machine

Chapter Summary: You and Dieter go on a date while grappling with the past, present, and future.

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Word Count: 8.7k+

Content / Warnings: alternating pov, insecurities, mirror, angst, fluff, acting career things idk, awkward/nervous speech patterns, cocaine use, past infidelity, suspicion, dissociation, argument, abuse mention

Notes: Chapter title from "Ghost in the Machine" by SZA featuring Phoebe Bridgers. Howdy! If you want the taglist, or AO3 link, head on down to the masterlist. If you want a link to the spotify playlist for this chapter, let me know and I'll send it to ya.

[ Series Masterlist ]

Every window in the house sits ajar, welcoming a warm cross-breeze that tickles your skin. It carries an earthy scent from further up the hill, giving faint whiffs of sage and dirt. 

Dieter moseys around the house in his boxers, voyaging between his kitchen sink and potted plants, watering can in hand. He mumbles sweet little affirmations to his green dependents, checking in with each in a hushed voice, saying shit like, “Now, how are we doing here? Thirsty?” or “Looking great today,” or “Wow, someone needs a haircut.” 

From your place nestled into the couch, you alternate between watching him and studying the white wisps of steam that swirl off the surface of your coffee cup. 

This morning, while peaceful, has you feeling off-kilter. Your mind keeps wandering to the interview with DIRT. To your mom. To Dieter. 

Overnight, the dust began to settle in your mind, providing more clarity. Details started to surface shortly after you woke. Things you heard yesterday, but didn’t understand or deem important in the moment. 

Like David’s statement: “Dieter has had a lot of big changes in his personal life this past year as well, with his divorce to Anika, and the scandals surrounding it.”

Like your mother saying: “He had a problem with drugs, you know, big problem, had other women, too,“ and, “I know he has a cocaine habit, and that he cheated on his wife, does that sound like anyone else?”

Like Dieter saying: “No, I definitely deserved that.”

In each still, calm moment, they replay. Every time you look at Dieter and your heart aches with love and adoration, your memory blindsides you with this information. 

Is your mom right? Did he cheat on Anika? 

Or is she just trying to drive a wedge between you?

Wouldn’t he have told you when he had the chance?

You know you could do a web search to look into it, do your own research into the matter. Hell, you could even just fucking ask him. But the prospect makes you itch. 

Because what if she’s wrong and he thinks you don’t trust him? Or, worse, what if she’s right? 

Fuck, what if she’s right? 

Your blood starts to buzz hot and rapid through your veins. You look around for an escape hatch and see a bookshelf, then set your coffee cup down to approach it. 

Among knickknacks and a few small plants housed on the solid oak shelves, you find titles you expect to see, like 1984 by George Orwell, The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann, and at least a dozen art reference books. You also find a few things you weren’t expecting, like Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy, half a dozen Julia Quinn novels, and, most importantly, a first edition of Betty Crocker’s Picture Cook Book. 

You pull the cookbook out and examine it, running your fingertips along the frayed corners of the faded red hardcover, then flip it open, asking, “Why do you have this?”

Dieter looks up from an unruly Monstera, “Have what?”

“This cookbook,” you answer, padding across the living room’s black and white striped rug to show him. 

He frowns as you hold it up, shaking his head, “Must’ve been Annie’s. She left some stuff behind when she moved out.” 

“My grandma had this one,” you murmur, glancing up at him, “Is—is it ok if I look through it?”

He scoffs and shrugs, “Not like she’s coming to get it,” then returns his attention to the Monstera. 

You settle into the couch, thumbing through the yellowed pages, reading recipes, tips, and instructions compiled for housewives of the 1950’s. Dieter finishes grooming his plants and plops down at your side, curling an arm around your shoulders, “Betty giving you any inspiration?”

“Fun fact: Betty Crocker isn’t an actual person,” you smirk, turn the page to the section on custard pies, and inform him, “In the 1920’s, a flour company noticed they got a lot of homemakers requesting baking advice, so they adopted the moniker Betty Crocker as a pen name for the people who answered the questions.”

“Huh,” he blinks, “Interesting.” 

“Listen to this,” you flip to a dog-eared page towards the back of the book and start reading from it, “If you’re tired from overwork, house chores you’re bound to shirk, read these pointers tried and true, and discover what to do.”

“What’s that?”

“Tips for housewives who are fucking miserable,” you tell him, then read another excerpt, “Get outdoors every day. Take a walk, do some gardening, take the children for an outing, or pay your neighbor a short visit,” and another, “Harbor pleasant thoughts while working. It will make every task lighter and pleasanter. Notice humorous and interesting incidents to relate at dinnertime, etc.”

“Jesus,” he mutters.

You want to tell him that the page was bookmarked. Its connection to the spine, well-creased. Referenced often. The comment lingers at the back of your throat. 

When you backtrack your place in the book, trying to resume your study on custard pies, a white index card slides from between two pages.

“Oh,” you pluck it out and furrow your brow at the ingredients, measurements, instructions printed in a precise script, “It’s a recipe for banitsa. You ever had this?” 

“I don’t think so.”

“It’s like a flaky cheese pastry… phyllo, feta, yogurt,” you murmur, then glance up at him, “What do we have going on today?”

“Reservations at 7, and Darlene’s gonna stop by later, but other than that,” he grins and shakes his head, “Nada.”

So, the two of you smoke a joint on the patio while Lincoln picks up the called-for ingredients Dieter doesn’t have on hand. After Lincoln drops them off, you sanitize the sun-drenched quartz of Dieter’s kitchen countertop, all sparkling rainbows in the light. Dieter spreads a paint-splattered drop cloth across the no-man’s land between the dining room and kitchen, sets up an easel, equips it with a canvas, then rolls a little yellow file cabinet out next to it. 

He puts on a mix of music described as roller-rink 1978. As the funky tunes play over the sound system wired throughout his house, you attach a bread hook to his matte black stand mixer and sift bread flour into its 7-qt bowl. 

Then you go to work. 

You concentrate on the task at hand in each given moment, taking it step-by-step. Measuring, mixing, and kneading. Trying not to think too long about the romance novels lining the bookshelf, or the recipe’s delicate handwriting, or the dog-eared page, or Dieter’s baited breath after he recounted why he and Anika split, or your mother saying, “I know he has a cocaine habit, and that he cheated on his wife, does that sound like anyone else?” Or David Alterman asking, “Do you worry that those patterns are bound to repeat themselves?”

Instead of these things, you try your hardest to occupy your hazy, pot-laced brain by separating the dough into equal pieces while humming along to ABBA and Elton John and Electric Light Orchestra. 

When the recipe calls for the dough to rest for an hour, you clean your workspace, throw together the banitsa filling, and wash the dishes. 

Then the timer tells you: seventeen minutes left. 

You turn your attention to Dieter. His bare feet move fluid from side-to-side, paintbrush flitting between the palette and canvas as he lip-syncs along to “Hollywood Swinging” by Kool & The Gang. A grin stretches across your face. 

They cannot be right about him. This is not the kind of man who has affairs. No fucking way. This man is an angel. 

I’ve been fooled before. 

You banish the thought with a quick shake of your head, then try to distract yourself by asking, “Do you still see ghosts?”

He looks up at you, then back at his work-in-progress with a shrug, “I don’t usually see them per se, it’s more like a, uhh… an understanding. Or a knowing, I guess. Like a picture in my head with a feeling attached to it.”

His features twitch animatedly as he talks, accenting his words, dark eyes glancing between the canvas and your face. 

“It’s like… have you ever had intrusive thoughts?” 

“Have I ever,” you snort.

“It’s like that,” he explains, “Like a flash of something. Not like that kid in the Sixth Sense, seeing them fuckin’ uhh… walking around and shit.” 

You hop up onto the kitchen counter and inquire, “Where’s the most haunted place you’ve been?” 

Dieter pauses mid-brushstroke and scrunches his face up as he thinks about this, resuming when he says, “Well, hotels are always the worst. They’re so transitive, you know, all this energy coming and going constantly. And the people stuck there… they usually went intending to have a good time, a vacation or party or whatever, and something happened to them. That, or… they went in with an intention not to come out and succeeded.”

The implication unfolds in your brain, and you nod. 

“Either way they seem to have unfinished business,” he shrugs and squints at the canvas, smudging paint with his thumb, “Usually they’re harmless, so it’s pretty easy to ignore,” he pauses here, clears his throat, then continues, “But in terms of the worst vibes I got, like, uhh… how scared it made me feel, it was definitely Ethan.”

Blood drains from your face and extremities, leaving you cold and dizzy. 

“I—I thought—wait, really?”

He squints up at the ceiling, like he’s re-evaluating his statement, then levels his eyes with yours with a nod, “Yeah. At first, at least. Like the first night I was there, I felt him and it was,” he furrows his brow and drops his gaze to the floor, “Dark. Really fucking dark. And I was already in a bad way, y’know, I went to your place straight from the airport and you were—”

“A fucking disaster?”

“A beautiful trainwreck,” he corrects with a persuasive smile. It falters as soon as he continues, “And I just had this big fight with Annie about the divorce and, uhh, stuff, and hadn’t used blow in a day or two, just… not great,” he swallows, then shakes his head, “I think maybe… he could sense that about me. It was a warning. I remember knowing that’s what it was.”

“Oh,” you breathe. Look down at your hands. Start picking at your cuticles.  

“It was hard to stay. So… I left.”

“I didn’t think it was that bad. I’m sorry. I mean, he told me that he liked you—”

“It got better, really, love. It’s fine,” he assures you, then frowns, “Wait, he told you he likes me? Did you ask him about me or something?”

“Well, yeah,” you drop your gaze to the floor, “I just wanted to—I don’t know, see if he approved, I guess.” 

His head jerks back and he blinks, “Oh.” 

“Yeah—he, um, told me that he always liked you,” you tilt your head at your dangling legs and chuckle, “Told me you were a triangle guy.” 

Dieter lets out a light puff of laughter. 

“He asked if you make me happy,” you tell him, so quiet it’s almost a whisper, then look up to study his reaction. 

He pulls his paintbrush from the canvas and stares at you, his eyes soft and searching, “And?”

A soft scoff flees your lips, and you say, “Of course you do, Dee.”

“Yeah?” 

This crooked smile spreads across his face and makes your heart ache. 

“Obviously,” you chuckle, grinning in return. 

Dieter seems to think about this, pink tongue rolling along his bottom lip as his eyebrow quirks. He sets his palette down on the little yellow file cabinet, drops his paintbrush into a cup of water, then crosses the room towards you. 

The way he looks at you seems to take a physical presence on your skin, making you shiver before he even reaches you. When he does, his hands slide up your bare legs, fingertips dipping under the hem of your jean shorts. His hips nudge your knees apart. 

You hook your arms around his neck as he tugs you closer, brushing his nose against yours, “You make me happy, too.” 

He kisses you, gentle for only a moment before your tongues meet. 

It’s so soft and wet it makes you gasp. A rumble sounds from his throat and his grip tightens. You arch your back, balling his shirt in your fist

He guides your hand to the bulge in his sweatpants, “Do you feel that? How happy you make me?” 

“That’s pretty fucking happy,” you grin, wrapping your fingers around his girth, over the soft fabric. You start to work him and he tosses his head back with a moan. 

Your lips meet his again, finding depth. It’s a slow heat, the way you take your time with his cock in your grip and your tongue in his mouth. Drives him crazy. His breaths carry strained groans that tickle your throat and make your cunt throb. 

When you roll your thumb against the damp spot in his sweatpants, he gasps, “Fuck–”

You hook a finger under his waistband, “I wanna see it.” 

“Oh yeah?” he chuckles, pausing to drag his tongue against yours, earning a whimper from you, then says, “Any time, any place, he’s all yours, baby.”

And right when he starts to pull down his pants, the front door swings open. 

You both jump and look towards the noise. 

In walks Darlene, cell phone pinched between her ear and shoulder, talking to someone on the other line, “Yeah, I just got to Dieter’s house, I’m going to tell him—Yeah, I will—Ok. Ok.”

Dieter rearranges himself and meets your eyes, murmuring, “To be continued,” before turning to approach her. 

“Yep, bye,” she tosses her phone in her designer bag and sighs, looking between the two of you, “Did I interrupt something?”

Your mouth gapes open. You shake your head and hop down off the counter, “We, um–we–”

Dieter cuts in, thank fucking god, responding, “No. What's the news?” 

Darlene raises an eyebrow at him, then you. She leans back against the dining room table and crosses her arms, “Well, I raised hell at DIRT. David Alterman is on disciplinary leave. The interview will be published without the phone call tomorrow. So… we will see what happens.” 

“Oh, that’s good!” you grin, glancing at the back of Dieter’s head, then to Darlene, “Thank you so much. And—and I’m sorry, you know, you had to deal with that.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Darlene nods, flashing you a wane smile, then looks to Dieter, “Can I steal you for a sec? I have to talk to you about something.” 

He clears his throat and nods, “Yeah,” then follows her outside. 

You release a little chuckle and smile to yourself. 

The timer goes off. 

Dieter slides the door closed behind him, following Darlene around the centerpiece of his patio: a sprawling oak tree. He looks up into it as he trails behind, admiring all the twisted innards of the beast. When they step out of its shade and into the hot afternoon sun, he grimaces. 

She plugs a cigarette between her lips and lights it, asking him on the exhale, “What was that about?”

“Nothing,” he takes a step forward and leans against the steel railing, peaking over the edge to look down the cliffside. 

“How’s she doing since yesterday? That was a fucking mess,” Darlene leans on the railing beside him. 

Dieter scrunches his nose up, shrugging, “Kind of hard to read, I guess. She seems fine. But–but I don’t know, she’s just,” he pauses here and frowns, “I think I would be freaking out if I were her, you know? But she’s not? And I don’t know what to do about that.” 

She flicks her cigarette and raises her eyebrows, then sighs, “Actually, Dieter, that’s what I wanted to talk about with you.” 

“About what? Lua? What about her?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but are you serious about this girl?” 

“Jesus Christ, Darlene,” he groans, dropping his head, “Yes, I’m fucking serious. I wouldn’t be doing all this bullshit for just anyone.” 

“It just seems like there’s a lot you haven’t figured out. Maybe some things you haven’t discussed,” she takes a drag and looks him up and down, “What if I got some intel that says she’s still selling drugs?”

He plays along, inquiring, “What kind of drugs?”

“Edibles. Pot brownies, shit like that.”

“I’d say your intel is bunk. She’s straight.”

“Well, I looked into it,” she blows a plume of blue smoke out into the canyon, “She has no online presence, no license, sells out of her apartment—I mean, it fucking reeks, Dieter. How’s she able to make enough to live in that area with no marketing?”

“She doesn’t make a huge profit. I mean, this month I helped her with rent—”

“You’re fucking kidding me. So she’s using you—”

“No, she’s not. I had to beg her to let me help. It’s not like that,” he maintains, shaking his head, “I mean, who’s your source? Why are you even looking into this?” 

“I don’t trust her, Dieter! Something isn’t right, it’s not adding up.”

He pushes off the railing and pushes non-existent sleeves up his forearms, “Let’s say you’re right, and she’s selling edibles,” he stops for a beat, then scoffs, “Who fucking cares? Fucking pot brownies? Who gives a shit.”

“Movie studios care. The public cares. Doesn’t matter if it’s crack or pot, she’s a fucking drug dealer.”

“She’s not a fucking drug dealer, Darlene,” he snaps.

She stares at him. Takes a drag off her cigarette. 

He kneads his neck, shifting his weight from one foot, to the other, before throwing his hands out in exasperation, “I need you to just believe that, for once, someone loves me and is good for me. Please.” 

Darlene’s lips purse, “That’s what you said about Anika.”

“That—that’s different,” Dieter drops his gaze to the ground. 

“Is it, though?” she blinks at him, “You swore that was it, that she wasn’t a gold digger, and yet… now she’s ex-Mrs. Dieter Bravo. Walked away with almost half your estate in return for not selling your secrets. She’s a rich woman now.”

“Yep,” Dieter sighs, skidding his toes against the mahogany deckboards, “I’m just a big fuck up, you got me there.” 

“That’s not what I’m saying,” she asserts, “I just want you to really think about this before doing anything… rash.” 

“I’m not going to run away and fucking marry her the first chance I get, ok?” he sneers, “Just—chill the fuck out.” 

“Dieter, let me be perfectly honest with you,” she drops her cigarette and crushes it with the toe of her beige pump, “I worry it’s more than you just being cunt-struck again.”

His head jerks back and he scoffs. 

She lowers her voice to a pleading tone, “Look, you’re falling headfirst into a serious relationship with this girl, she used to deal drugs, there’s all this shady stuff with her business, and… I just—I worry, are you, you know… are you ok?” 

“Am I ok?” he repeats the question, drenching it with incredulity, “What the fuck do you mean, am I ok?”

She studies his face, crossing her arms. A meaningful tilt of her head tells him everything he needs to know. 

His jaw gnashes from side-to-side and he shakes his head, “I’ve been clean for months, Darlene, because of her.” 

“Alright,” she raises her eyebrows and blinks, “Good.”

“Do you believe me?”

Darlene shrugs, “If you say you’re ok, you’re ok.” 

Bullshit.

“I am,” he confirms, his voice firm and final. 

“Great,” she nods, then pulls out her phone and looks at the screen, “Alright, well, I’ll keep an eye on things after the interview drops and let you know how it goes.” 

She stomps past him, the click-clack of her heels echoing out behind her, and exits out the side gate. 

“Fuck,” he mutters to himself, shaking his hands out at his sides, rolling his neck as he starts towards the glass patio door.

Dieter walks beside you as the hostess leads the way through the busy restaurant. Everything around him is white noise. It doesn’t matter at all. 

All that exists is his palm on the small of your back. His whole universe has boiled down to you, right now, draped in this white, flowing chiffon dress that Kelly picked out for tonight. You, all starry-eyed and dolled up, gawking at your surroundings because you’re just so damn excited to be at another fancy-schmancy restaurant.

Earlier today, while wrapped up in his sheets, you told him all about the menu, and haute cuisine, and French culinary history, and Escoffier. He closed his eyes and held your warm body in place next to his, content to listen to you chatter on as long as you’d allow him.

He loves that about you. How passionate you are in everything you do. How you slow to appreciate beauty in things like snowstorms, and layers in croissants, and even the subtle timbre of a cello woven into his favorite song. 

“Listen close,” you told him when you pointed it out, “It’s fucking incredible.” 

He did. 

He felt the chords vibrate through him, resolute and melodic. It gave the music new meaning, and he couldn’t believe he’d never noticed it before. He notices every time he hears it now. 

But that’s what you do. 

Everything seemed so fucking boring before you. Meaningless. You opened his eyes to what was right in front of him and gave it new life. Gave him new life. 

The hostess comes to a stop and gestures to a square table, laying a menu on either side of the white linen. You sit across from him and meet his gaze, face all lit up with that gorgeous fucking smile that makes his chest tighten. 

“Do you have a strategy in mind here?” he asks, leaning forward onto the table, rubbing his hands together, “Food, wine, dessert, the whole nine yards?”

“I love that movie,” you comment mildly, “Bruce Willis is hot.” 

He raises his eyebrows. 

“What?” you laugh.

“Bruce Willis, really?”

You study him, clearly very entertained, “Why, are you jealous?”

He scoffs at this, “No—I’m just saying, though, he’s never even been nominated for an Oscar—”

“Oh, well in that case,” you roll your eyes and let out this dramatic sigh. 

Dieter laughs and shakes his head, “Wow.”

“Ok, but really,” you turn your attention back to the menu. As you survey it, you tilt your head back and forth thoughtfully, clicking your tongue against the roof of your mouth. A mischievous smirk plays on your lips and you ask, “Did Darlene say we were allowed one glass or one bottle of wine?”

Dieter taps an index finger to his chin and grins, “I recall her saying bottle, don’t you?”

“Mmmm, yep, now that you mention it, I’m like… 99% sure she said bottle,” you agree conspiratorially. 

He smiles up at you, but his breath hitches when something behind you catches his eye. 

Or, someone, rather. 

A bright tangerine dress tight around her petite, curvy frame. Loose chestnut curls flowing down her back. Glowing brown eyes locked onto his. A small smirk plays on her plump, shiny lips. 

His spine straightens and he mutters under his breath, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” 

You frown and follow his gaze to Lilly Stokes just as she pushes her chair back and starts towards the table. 

“Dieter, hiiii,” Lilly croons, squeezing his forearm, “How are you, Pookie? It’s been a minute.” 

Dieter watches your eyes flick between Lilly’s hand on his suit jacket, and her face, and Dieter’s face. He watches the gears turn. The light bulb turns on. Your eyebrows shoot up and you meet his gaze, then immediately drop your eyes to the tablecloth. 

“Fine,” he answers and leans back in his chair, pulling his arm from her grasp.  

Lilly glances back at her table, then to Dieter, “I’m here with Jay—you remember Jay, right?” 

Dieter blinks at her, thinking, “We’ve been inside you at the same time, of fucking course I remember Jay.”

But what he says is, “Yeah.” 

“Oh, duh,” Lilly waves off the obvious, then wets the seam of her mouth, eyes dragging along Dieter’s body, “We should merge tables so we can catch up.” 

“Oh, no—” Dieter shakes his head and gestures to you, “We’re—”

Lilly finally seems to notice your presence and turns towards you, “Oh my god, Dieter, she’s so cute, are you two on a date?”

“Yeah,” he meets your eyes for a moment before telling Lilly, “This is Louella.”

“Lou-el-la,“ Lilly repeats, enunciating each syllable like she’s trying to commit it to memory, “You don’t mind, do you, beautiful?” 

You stare at her for a beat like you’re trying to figure out what she’s asking, then stammer, “Me? Wh—I’m sorry, what?”

“It’s ok if we join you?” Lilly nods, batting her false eyelashes. She asks this in a condescending way, slowing her words down like she’s asking a toddler. 

Your throat croaks as you look from her, to Dieter, who’s mentally pleading, “Please no,” then back to Lilly, “Uhh—I mean, sure?”

He deflates as Lilly calls Jay over and pulls out a chair. You mouth, “Sorry.”

Jay Blackburn, who looks like a poor man’s Alexander Skarsgård but six inches shorter, saunters over, a lopsided grin plastered on his smug face, “Bravo. Long time no see.” 

“Yeah,” Dieter responds, shifting in his seat at the reminder. 

Across the table, you gnaw away at your bottom lip, eyes downcast, your bubbling excitement replaced with this raw, nervous energy. He soaks it up like a sponge. It trickles down his backbone and seeps into his bloodstream as he wrings his hands together. 

“Who do we have here?” Jay asks, dragging his eyes along your body, drinking in your beauty with zero fucking shame. 

Dieter’s jaw clenches and cocks to one side. His leg starts to bounce. 

“I’m Louella.”

A warm smile crosses your face and you extend a hand to him. 

Jay takes it in his like a baby bird and presses a kiss into your knuckles, then releases you, “Jay Blackburn.”

“Oh—um, nice to meet you,” you say, glancing at Dieter, then at Lilly, “And you are?”

Lilly bristles at this, huffing a little before her mask of sweetness goes back up and she responds, “Lilly Stokes.” 

“So nice to meet you,” you look from her to Jay, “Are you guys actors, too?” 

“Um, no,” Lilly lets out this half-chuckle, half-scoff, “That’s so funny. No. Well, maybe someday. But for now I’m just a makeup artist, content creator, brand ambassador for Wowie Zowie Cosmetics, and model,” she counts each role on her fingers, then adds as an afterthought, “Jay is a wellness guru.”

You furrow your brow, “Wellness… guru?”

“Lifestyle coach,” Jay corrects, “Shepherding people to wellness through mindfulness, yoga, and nutrition.”

Dieter rolls his eyes. 

“Ohhh,” you nod, “Wow, you’re both, like, really popular on the internet?” 

“I have over 10 million followers,” Lilly advises, “So, yeah.”

“She didn’t know who I was, either, if that makes you feel better,” Dieter teases, casting a smirk your way. 

You wince and shrug, “Yeah, I, umm… live under a rock, I guess. Sorry.” 

“I like that,” Jay says, still eyeing you up like you’re a piece of fucking meat, “It’s refreshing. We should all be so lucky to be sheltered from the world in such a digital age.”

You raise your eyebrows, “I mean, I read the newspaper every day, so I’m very much aware of what’s going on in the world—“

“Right, but,” Jay starts.

“—Just, you know, stuff that matters.” 

A stunned sort of silence falls over the table for a moment, then laughter erupts from Dieter’s throat. You grin at him, and Jay must think you were kidding, because he joins in on the laughter. 

“You’re funny,” Lilly flashes this smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, then lets out an exasperated sigh and looks around, “Are we going to get some fucking service here or what?” 

Throughout the meal, you remain quiet. 

You don’t share your thoughts on the cuisine, or the wine, or the world-renowned chef. Your face stays painfully neutral as Lilly and Jay dominate the conversation, going on and on in a masturbatory fashion about their busy lives. 

More than anything, Dieter wants to tell them to fuck off. He wants to tell them that neither of you fucking care about subscribers or algorithms or sponsorships. He wants to comment on the restaurant’s heavy-handed use of bear décor and kiss you and tell you he loves you. 

But Darlene’s warning to be on his best behavior rings in his head. 

Despite this, the one bottle of wine you agreed upon is easily negotiated up to two. 

After the plat principal is cleared from the table, Lilly leans towards Dieter and asks “So, what’s new with you? We haven’t heard from you in, what,” she turns to Jay for confirmation, “Months?”

“Summer, I think?” Jay supplies. 

“Yeah,” Dieter nods and looks up at you, watching the way you wiggle in your chair and look down at your lap. He shrugs, “I’ve been keeping busy.”

“I see how it is,” Lilly pouts, glancing between his eyes and mouth, “Pookie gets a girlfriend and forgets all about us.”

Heat rises to his face. Every muscle in his body clenches. A hundred violent images flash through his head. The words shut the fuck up wrestle their way up his throat. 

“How did you all meet?” you ask, plastering on this polite smile. 

Lilly combs her long fingernails through her hair, “I met Dieter at some fundraising gala last year.”

Dieter’s leg starts bouncing. He leans his elbows into the table and presses his closed fist against his lips, watching you absorb this information. But he can’t get a read on you. 

“She introduced us,” Jay nods to Lilly, “Yeah, we were at this party, it was fucking wild—”

“Lua doesn’t wanna hear about that,” Dieter cuts in, dropping a hand to the table.

“It’s fine, Dee,” you chuckle, then take a big swallow from your wine glass. Unconvincing. 

Jay ignores Dieter’s protest, “It was one of those nights where everyone got very well acquainted with one another, if you know what I mean.” 

Your fake smile twitches. 

“Sounds… hot,” you offer. You empty the remaining pinot grigio in your glass down your throat. Dieter mirrors the action, taking the wine like a shot of hard liquor. 

Lilly sips her martini and lets out this wistful little sigh, “Soooo hot.” 

“I have to go to the bathroom,” you announce as you push your chair back, then hurry away from the table before anyone else can respond. 

His blood boils. 

He glares between Jay and Lilly, well aware of the slew of insults percolating at the tip of his tongue, held back by his awareness of the public eye surrounding them.

“I’ll go talk to her,” Lilly says.

Dieter grits his teeth and warns, “Lillith—”

She waves him off and starts towards the bathroom. 

“Dieter,” Jay smirks, tilting his head, “You seem upset.” 

“What an astute observation,” Dieter mutters, crossing his arms over his chest, “Fucking incredible.“ 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Oh, fuck off.”

Jay raises his eyebrows, “So we’re touchy, ok. Is it because I told the story?” 

Dieter says nothing, just grinds his teeth together. 

“She doesn’t know about your more salacious hobbies, I take it?” 

“She sure as fuck does now,” Dieter grumbles, “Thank you for that.” 

Jay scoffs, “What, is this your first date or something?”

“No.”

Jay hums and takes a sip from his cocktail. 

Dieter shakes his head. Scrubs a hand over his face. 

Then he sits up and points at your empty seat, “If she’s going to hear about that shit from anyone, it should be me. Not some fucking ghouls just trying to get a rise out of her.” 

“Then why didn’t she hear it from you?” Jay questions, pausing a beat before he sighs, “You know, you gotta own your demons, man. It’s not my fault you didn’t tell her—”

“Yeah, I fucking know, ok?” Dieter snips. He leans his elbows against the table, looking towards the women’s bathroom, “What’s taking them so goddamn long?”

Behind the roar of the flushing toilet, you hear the bathroom door open, followed by the sharp click of stilettos against ceramic tile. You open the stall door to find Lilly leaned up against the marble slab countertop, pulling a tiny silver canister from her clutch. 

She looks up at the mirror and makes eye contact with you, “Hey, girl.” 

“Hi,” you smile politely and approach the sink. 

While you wash your hands, you watch Lilly through the mirror as she cuts two thin lines of coke right on the countertop. She fishes a short straw out of her purse and holds it out to you, “Do you want any?”

The ghost of cocaine’s allure sends your heart racing. It’s tempting, but you decline. She shrugs and leans over the counter. You look away and hear the two deep, short breaths through the straw. You swear you can feel the rush vicariously. 

She sits up straight and keeps one nostril plugged closed, taking a few sharp inhales, making sure she got it all to the brain. Her eyes flutter and throat hums with contentment, “Fuck, that’s good. You sure you don’t want any? 

“I’m fine,” you assure her, but don’t go to leave. You lean one hip against the sink and cross your arms, “Did you and Dieter, like… date?” 

Lilly releases a chuckle, a sniffle, then rubs a fingertip against the white marble countertop where her blow was cut, “Oh, no. We fucked, like, a lot. But no, we never dated per se. It was more of a fuck buddy arrangement. No biggie.” 

She scrubs her finger against her gums, then turns to the mirror to assess her appearance. 

“Was that while he was still with Anika?” 

“Well, yeah, that’s how it started. He asked if I could be their third,” she sniffles a few times as she examines her nostrils, “I know Kate Ridley was seeing them for a while, but that must’ve fallen through. Anyway, we all fucked around and it was fun. I brought Jay with a few times. Then Anika got turned off or something, she didn’t wanna get together anymore. Jealous I think, probably. He reached out to me for some one-on-one time.�� 

The information hits you like a slap in the face. A kick in the gut. A fist closed around your windpipe, squeezing tighter and tighter.  

You can’t breathe. 

“And of course I said yes. It doesn’t hurt to cozy up to a guy like him, with his connections and all. Good career move. Plus, he’s so good in bed. Fucks like an animal,” Lilly giggles, “Not that I have to tell you, right?”

Your face heats and lips part to respond, but she continues without regard. 

“If you ever wanted a third, I’d be happy to step in. Jay, too, I’m sure of it. He was checking you out. You’re hot, you know, in a non-traditional kind of way. How long have the two of you been going out?”

She stares at you, waiting. Your throat croaks and you hear yourself say, “A few months, officially.”

“Oh, are you two, like, serious?” 

You bring your hand to your throat and nod, “Yeah.”

“Weird,” she murmurs, “After what happened with Anika, I thought he was done trying to pretend he was like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like… monogamous, you know. He told me he’s a free spirit, doesn’t want to be tied down by one person ever again, all that. Then he disappears and re-emerges in a supposedly serious relationship, no offense, but it’s just confusing.” 

“Oh,” you breathe, frowning down at the floor, “Well, maybe he changed?” 

“The man is almost 50, I doubt that,” she scoffs, checking herself out in the mirror, then glances over at you, “Or, I mean, maybe? Hopefully?” 

You nod solemnly and swallow the knot in your throat, “Should we go back?” 

“Sure,” she shrugs, then leads the way out of the bathroom, into the dining room. 

When you meet Dieter’s eyes, his annoyed expression goes slack. You lay one hand flat, palm facing the ceiling, balling the other into a thumbs up on top, and raise both hands. The signal he taught you back in your apartment before this clusterfuck started: Help. 

Once seated, you keep your eyes low, trying to keep the steady hum in your chest from amplifying. Everything seems fuzzy and out-of-focus.

It’s too much. Too much noise. Too much information. Too much change at one time. You want off this fucking ride. You want to be home in bed, hidden under the covers where no one can reach you. 

“We should go,” Dieter announces from far away. 

Your body is cement. Limbs frozen. Lilly’s words play on repeat at a deafening volume: 

I thought he was done trying to pretend he was like that.

He’s a free spirit, doesn’t want to be tied down by one person ever again. 

“Oh, come on, Pookie–”

“Stop fucking calling me that,” he growls, then softer, in your direction, “Are you ready, love?”

You nod, then look from Lilly to Jay, your smile wavering, “It was nice to meet you both.”

Dieter leads you past blurry tables of shiny, well-to-do patrons, his hand at the small of your back, burning through your dress. You can feel his gaze glued to your profile, trying to assess the damage. You can hear the words queued up behind his closed lips. 

A restaurant employee holds the door open for you. The cool night air kisses your heated, buzzing skin. 

“Hey, are you ok?” Dieter asks, his thumb working against your spine. 

You look down at the sidewalk and open your mouth to tell him, but it’s all a jumbled mess at the base of your tongue. Fire rises up your throat and tingles behind your eyes. You just shake your head and smother the sob in your chest. 

Tears bloom in your eyes and drop to the cement. You croak out, “I’m fine.”

He scoffs. 

The valet rolls up in Dieter’s cartoonish, pea soup-colored two-seater and tosses him the keys. 

Once inside, you clasp the seatbelt. Grip the leather upholstery. Stare out the side window as the landscape starts to move. 

“Louella” he coos, glancing between you and the road. 

The car clunks a little as he shifts gears. You grip the seat tighter. Watch the city lights fly by. 

He tries every once and a while to talk to you, but you can’t make yourself respond. 

You’ve been here before. 

You know what happens if you make a sound. If you vocalize the protest in your lungs.

What happens next is acceleration. 

Car horns. 

Impact. 

Those vacant black eyes. 

Darkness.

The second the car pulls into Dieter’s garage, you’re unfastening the seat belt. 

When he shifts to park, you yank on the door handle and scramble from the vehicle. 

The entryway door slams in Dieter’s face as you kick off the stupid high heels you never would have picked out for yourself. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” his voice booms through the house when he opens the door. 

By now, you’re halfway down the hall, making a beeline to his en suite bathroom, leaving a trail of jewelry behind you like breadcrumbs: the left earring, the right earring, bracelets, a necklace. All these brilliant ornaments Kelly loaned you to make you look more refined.

Dieter’s footsteps sound from a few paces behind as you turn into his bedroom. 

“Louella, come on. Why won’t you talk to me?”

The edge his words carry make your heart jump and your feet move faster. You hurry into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind you.  

He jiggles the handle, “What the fuck is this? Are you fucking kidding me?” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you ask. 

“That I slept with Lilly and Jay?“ he scoffs, “I didn’t think it mattered who I fucked before you—”

“That’s not what I mean. You know that’s not what I mean,” you press your forehead against the door and squeeze your eyes closed, “When I asked you what happened with you and Anika, you said the two of you grew apart. That—that she was resentful—like it was her fault–”

“Open the door so we can talk about this,” he says in a low voice, “Please, baby.”

You shake your head, whimpering, “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

The door handle jiggles again, “Come on, Lua, open the door.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can, just unlock it—”

“Answer me.”

“GodDAMNIT–” 

A hard thud shakes the doorframe. 

You jump back and yelp. 

“This is so fucking stupid,” he seethes, “Lock yourself in my fucking bathroom instead of talking to me. You realize how fucking stupid that is, right?” 

He hits the door again. You scramble away from it, watching the doorknob rattle. 

“Stop it, Dieter,” you cry out, backing yourself up to the wall, “You’re scaring me.”

“I’m scaring you?” he scoffs, his words still steeped in red, “Do you really think I would fucking hurt you?”

You slide down the wall and collapse into a pile, covering your head. All you can hear are your own shattered breaths. 

A few quiet moments go by. 

When his voice comes again, it’s a plea. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry.”

You look up at the door and sniffle, wiping your eyes. 

“I—I wanted to tell you. I mean, I was going to tell you. I swear to god. It’s just,” there’s a soft thump against the door, and you can picture him on the other side, forehead pressed up against it, “Do you know how hard it is to admit that you’re a piece of shit?”

You don’t say anything, just watch his still shadow beneath the door. 

“Do you know how hard it is for me to willingly show you that? I mean, fuck. How–how are you supposed to trust me now?” 

What follows is silence. Broken up by occasional sniffles and wet, labored breaths. Your chest aches.

Slowly, you rise to your feet and pad across the cool tile floor. 

When you reach the door, you don’t say anything, just press your palm against the barrier where you think his heart is. And you swear, if you concentrate hard enough, you can feel its steady rhythm.

“How are you supposed to love me now?” he whispers, “You won’t even look at me, Louella.”

Your eyelids clamp shut and you take a deep breath. Then you step back and turn the doorknob, pulling the door open. 

And there he is. 

Dieter Bravo. The man you love. 

His eyes all puffed-up and red-rimmed, cheeks streaked with tears. Every handsome feature laced with remorse. 

You wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his suit jacket. He envelops you in a warm embrace and squeezes you tight. 

“I’m–I’m sorry for yelling,” he tells you in a hoarse whisper, petting your hair, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened, I lost it.”

You swallow hard and rub his back, a silent kind of reassurance. 

“I would never hurt you, Lua,” his voice cracks, “I’m not him. I’m not him.”

Instantly, tears flood your eyes. 

“I know, love,” you croak out, pulling him closer, “I know.”

Dieter kisses the crown of your head with reverence. Then your forehead. He tilts your chin to face him dead on, grazing his nose against yours, “Wanna talk about this more in the bath?”

You nod and weave your fingers through the curls at the back of his head. His lips meet yours, lingering for a tender moment before he pulls back and makes his way over to the soaking tub. 

While you wash the makeup off your face, he fiddles with the water temperature and crumbles a magenta bubble bar in the stream. The sweet scent of blackcurrant fills the air. You glance up in the mirror and see him shucking off his suit jacket, eyes trailing down your spine. His breath heats the nape of your neck when he draws close and unzips your dress, his movements gentle and slow as he slides it off your shoulders. 

The dress falls at your feet. You turn to face him, murmuring, “Look up.”

He does, and you set to work on his shirt buttons. When you’re halfway down his chest, he asks, “Will you tell me what she said?”

“She, um,” you pause to bite down on your bottom lip, then sigh, “She told me you and Anika would fuck around with her and sometimes Jay. Then, you know, just her.”

He hums in acknowledgment. 

You reach the end of his button-down, then spread the shirt apart. As he takes over tugging it off, you ask, “Was that something that you wanted, or…?”

“We both wanted to try it,” he shrugs. Your hands move to his belt buckle and you unfasten it. He continues, “Thought it would reignite that passion. It was fucking stupid because it just made us both jealous.”

He pauses to kick off his slacks, then ushers you face the mirror again. You watch him unclasp your bra and toss it aside, glancing up when you recount, “She said you didn’t want to be tied down by one person ever again.“

He nods, diverting his gaze, “Yeah. Well, that’s true. I didn’t,” then his eyes return to yours, “But then you came along. Fucked up all my big plans to be lonely and miserable forever.” 

You can’t help but grin. 

He casts a backwards glance at the tub, “I think it’s ready.” 

Dieter gets in first, groaning as he lowers himself into the bubbles. You sit on the opposite side and tip your face to the ceiling, stretching your legs across him, then sink down to your shoulders. 

The water burns your skin a little, but you like it. It feels real. 

“Hey,” Dieter rumbles. 

You swivel your head down to look at him, but can only see bubbles.

“Holy shit,” you giggle, then sit up and meet his eyes, “What?”

“Come here, doll,” he reaches out to you.

You slide your feet under the water and crawl over to him, closing your eyes as you lay your cheek on his shoulder and relax against his body. He wraps his arms around your waist, snuggling you like you’re his favorite teddy bear. 

One of your hands occupies itself by absentmindedly tracing the edges of his jaw. The shell of his ear. That one silver hoop earring he refuses to part with. Your nails work into his hairline and play with his damp curls. 

“Were there others?” you ask him. 

His tongue clicks against the roof of his mouth, then he admits, “Yeah. A few. Just hookups, really. Lilly was the most consistent, and that was still, you know…”

“No strings attached?” you smirk. 

“Yeah.” 

“Why did you do it?” 

Your spine arches as he draws a big breath in, then releases it, “All the reasons I said it didn’t work. That was true, you know. I was gone a lot. Filming, meetings, press stuff. A few days here, a week there. There was one stretch where I was gone for two months. I’m not drowning in work or anything, but it adds up. I don’t think she realized that being with me meant being away from me that often. And. Yeah. 

“At first, it upset me a lot. I thought she would be supportive and loving. Compassionate, you know. But she turned so cold when she was mad. Completely ignored me. Acted like I didn’t exist. Even when I begged for her reassurance, for her to show me she still cared and noticed me, but she wouldn’t react. I felt like a ghost. It-it kind of reminded me—”

He pauses here for a moment, holding his breath, then releases a soft, sad chuckle. His Adam’s apple bobs. When he starts again, his voice is watery. 

“It reminded me of what it was like for me growing up. If I didn’t please my dad, he would ignore me completely. I would act out, be loud, push him until he exploded. Because then… then at least I knew he could see me. It was something, you know?”

You blindly cup his cheek and graze your thumb against his beard to let him know you’re listening. He nuzzles into the touch, a small rumble sounding from his throat. 

“Maybe I was acting out with Annie? Or maybe just trying to… fill that emptiness, loneliness. Or numb out. Forget that my wife didn’t love me anymore. I don’t know. I guess it doesn’t matter. I started using again. Heroin, oxy, bars, morphine, adderall, booze. Whatever I could get my hands on, really. But blow has always been my favorite. It makes me feel…”

“Powerful?”

“Yeah,” he says, “Yeah. Powerful. And with other people I actually felt… desired. Plus, they were both a rush. I felt alive. When I was home I was hollow. I stopped groveling for her affection when I started fucking around. Neither of us wanted to work on the hard things. The whole fucking thing, you know, it metastasized. And—and our relationship died.” 

“Fuck,” you grimace. 

Dieter cranes his neck to look at you, “Too bleak?”

“No, it’s not that,” you tell him, “It’s just… familiar.”

Adrenaline spikes your bloodstream. Your mouth opens to say more, then you close it and hold your breath. 

He rests his cheek on your head. Squeezes you a little tighter. Like he’s prodding you so say more. 

“Do I make you happy?” you ask him. 

“Do you make me happy?” he repeats, disbelief raising his voice an octave. 

You nod.

“I told you earlier,” he kisses your hairline, “You make me so happy, Louella.” 

“But will you feel the same tomorrow?” 

“Obviously,” he lets out a little snort of laughter like he thinks you’re kidding. Silence settles. His body seems to tense and he adds, “Really, love, I mean it.”

Your teeth catch your bottom lip. Brows lace together. Then you ask, “What about a month from now?”

“Don’t do that, come on—”

“A year from now? Or—or longer, even—”

“Lua,” he huffs, then pulls you up to face him. His eyes are soft and pleading. He brushes his knuckles against your cheek, “Look, we won’t be happy every second of every day. You know why?”

A sharp pain radiates across your chest. You wince and shake your head. 

He tilts your chin up to meet his eyes and says, “Because it’s fucking impossible. If we do this thing right, which I fully intend to, sometimes we’re going to be scared, and frustrated, and–and we might want to take an easy way out. But I’m telling you that I will not do that. Because I love you.” 

You search his face and only find sincerity. Your stomach flips in a freefall so violent it makes you gasp, “Fuck, I love you.”

He smirks, gaze flicking between your eyes and lips, “And I’m going to love you tomorrow.” 

Your heart skips. Heat creeps up your neck. 

He cups your cheeks and locks his eyes onto yours, “And the next day, and ten years from now, and all the way until my next fucking life, ok?” 

“Ok,” you nod. Tension liquifies and drains from your body. The corners of your mouth upturn and you ask, “What then?” 

“What then?” he snorts, shaking his head with amusement, “What do you think? Hmm?”

You grin and shrug, pressing the tip of your tongue to your front teeth. 

His eyes drop to your mouth and he pulls you in for a kiss. When you part, he murmurs, “I’ll fucking find you in the next life and fall in love with you all over again.”

The words electrify you. You hook your hands behind his head and press your forehead against his, “Promise?” 

“Cross my heart,” he murmurs, and kisses you again.

[charlestrask]

alex g mclennon playlist now….

OK OK FINALLY

and the annotations which arent like. super informative but some vaguely chronological guidance and my thoughts on povs and such.

string: early john pov after meeting paul. particularly wrt johns feelings about jim and paul being too behaved and obedient towards him.

salt: also early john pov. im imagining in that tumultuous time post julias death as pauls managing to coax him back to the band.

cross the sea: either john or paul pov. vague early years and the exhilarating obsession with each other. "you see how i make you smile / you put your foot down and i run wild" especially them to me.

brite boy: early paul pov. similar to salt imagining the general feelings of paul in situations like trying to get back to john after julias death, but not necessarily that situation specifically. johns various down periods.

in my arms: more vague pre-beatles period john and paul. i dont have a lot specific to say on this one but the vibes.

harvey: we've entered fame period. ive gone back and forth on john or paul pov for this. i began thinking it was paul pov, john as harvey paul a bit more concerned about all the business of actually running the band. but now i think i prefer it as a john pov first of all "run my hands through his short black hair" but also the harvey verse im seeing johns idea that paul was somehow getting ahead of him, being better than him without even trying.

in love: touring fame years. no specific events just that period of time of truly being attached and solidly together.

near: THE JOHN AND PAUL OBSESSION SONG OF ALL TIME. all i want is to be near you you you you you you. for chronological playlist purposes this is touring years, imagining 65-66 but easily applicable to many many periods.

animals: ive kind of come to hate this song but thats another matter. "i get sick when i get stoned / everything we do, we do it alone". no specific pov here it can go both ways. either of them could be rosie. but im imagining this as late 65 as they're (especially john) entering heavier drug use

runner: PAUL POV ON JOHN. "i laugh when you say the wrong thing / mouthing off to everybody else but me / they hit you with the rolled up magazine / my runner, my runner, my man" NEED I SAY MORE.

so: we are entering post-touring years. john deep in the lsd kenwood depression.

break: paul dropping acid with john for the first time. "i think i'm feeling it now / just like you did" "taking hits for you / cause i wanna feel like im supposed to / i could disappear / if this is what makes me feel so real" "and i'm sick for you, baby / and it's never gonna go away" HEAD IN HANDS.

soaker: mostly john pov but one can imagine it both ways. imagining this 66-67 period where they were close but john was feeling that jealousy-depression around paul gallavanting around london while he's stuck in the suburbs. both so desperate to just be with each other all the time and yet! and yet. johns frustration over what he sees as paul not needing him as much.

proud: feel like i dont need to say much about this one. mostly john pov i think but that battling jealousy and utmost respect and love for paul.

black hair: black hair its swimming in my head black hair its bigger than death black hair dont leave me in the dirt black hair i'll show you what im worth ❤️❤️

people: yet another john in total acid stupor everyday alone in his big stupid house.

miracles: hard how to explain this one. still in 66-67. john pov. if you get it you get it.

walk away: YEP. late 67ish. you'll see. "someday i'm gonna walk away from you / not today, not today, not today / someday i'm gonna walk away from you (i don't want, i don't want, i don't want to)"

forever: paul pov on john post-brians death. "pull it together / we could love you / forever and ever" and then his taking over managerial duties after brians death because he feels like he has to, he needs to keep the band together or who knows what will happen now and the only way he knows how to do that is keep everybody working. "made up a game / no pain, no gain / until you break / make no mistake / i will pull it together / you can love me / forever and ever."

snot: we are entering india. john pov. beginning of him turning on paul. "i'm all in / and he's all out" this feeling of sinking lower and lower as paul seems to be continuing on like normal.

sugarhouse: still in india. paul pov. not sure how to explain this one it just makes sense to me.

brick: last india/the whole 68 business one. john pov of course. his uhh lets say very subjective idea of paul at the time. and whatever the hell happened there. but turning on paul and for some reason seeing him now as this manipulator.

mis: PAUL POV GET BACK SESSIONS. I DONT NEED TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE.

change: interchangeably paul and john during get back sessions. "you're in my dream last week / i'd like to hear what you think"

sugar: john pov. imagining this as his pov on paul in that odd interstitial period between get back sessions and the official breakup. "you will be a bird / all of my life" combined with the sound of the song itself is very.. very something.

bobby: ok this one is very specific. john pov bobby is paul but the "you" in the song is yoko. "i'd leave him for you / if you want me to" "i'd burn them for you / if you want me to" etc. this and mis are ones i feel very strongly about.

boy: a kind of vague john pov in 69-70. is the other person yoko or paul? you decide. interesting things to think about both ways.

hollow: both john pov 69-70 AND paul pov 69-70 bur different implications for both readings. heroin is there. johns general uhhhh..... lost-ness. paul decaying stagnant on the farm. "swallow this- / you made a big / mistake / go away" "i know him / i know how much / he wants / to stay"

powerful man: PAUL ON THAT FARM. attempting to be butch to heal 💔 "maybe he was out of line / but he was still a pretty close friend of mine / maybe he had hurt me bad / but a brother is a brother and that is that" "had a dream about a promised land / walkin' round with a big gun in my hand / and when i look you in the eye / you're gonna tell me that you love me and hold me tight"

station: still paul pov 69-70 on the farm. imagine truly the peak of that depressive period. i cant even pick any specific lyrics its all so much.

mission: paul vaguely 70s wings period. his just-keep-working ethic. "hey, look in the mirror / ain't gonna right your wrong / with a stupid love song" :) i like being on the nose

sorry: both john & paul pov in their more reconciling yet bittersweet parts of 72-80. "i look at you / and feel the same / could you forgive me / for that pain?" "i look at you / and feel the same / could you forgive me / for that?"

judge: PAUL POV. his whole feelings around johns behavior toward him in the 70s. all those very very very painful quotes of him questioning why john felt like that what did he do to hurt john. the whole hunter davies phone call "maybe i just hurt people by default".

forgive: johns late 70s love for paul but also paul post-johns death. "forgive yesterday / i choose today". AND THAT'S ALL FOLKS.

[jkvjimin]

tagged by @raplinenthusiasts thank you so much, julia! love to share my playlist 💜 edit* the lovely @cosmicdreamgrl also tagged me! tysm steph 💜

shuffle your on repeat playlist and list the first 10 songs 1. Shot Glass of Tears - Jung Kook 2. My Time - BTS 3. Until I Bleed Out - The Weeknd 4. Like Crazy - Jimin 5. Somebody - Jung Kook 6. Black Swan - BTS 7. Alone - Jimin 8. Seven feat. Latto - Jung Kook 9. House of Cards - Full Length Edition - BTS 10. TOO MUCH - Kid Laroi, Jung Kook, Central Cee really liked this! it was fun 🥰 tagging @heybaetae @jung-koook @cordiallyfuturedwight and everyone who wants to do it 🤍

[victoriouscabaret]

Every Single Song I've Posted Here Since 2013

Under the cut - I'll make a Spotify playlist to pin soon <3

2013:

The Space of Your Mind - Black Mountain

Annabel Lee - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Skinny Love - Birdy

Femme Fatale - The Velvet Underground

Crystal Ship - The Doors

Pale Blue Eyes - The Velvet Underground

Fault Line - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Our Brave New World - The Dolly Rocker Movement

When You're Evil - Aurelio Voltaire

The Power of Love - Huey Lewis & The News

In The Aeroplane Over The Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel

So Sister - The Verve

Burn The Witch - Queens of The Stone Age

We Rise Again - Gogol Bordello

Dragula - Rob Zombie

Burnin' For You - Blue Oyster Cult

Sundrenched World - Joshua Radin

Like A Bad Girl Should - The Cramps

Beat The Devil's Tattoo - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Lasagna - The Knife

Am I Only - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Walk On The Wild Side - Lou Reed

Gobbledigook - Sigur Ros

This Is Halloween (Music Box Version)

Death Is The Road To Awe - Clint Mansell

Video Games - Kasabian

See My Vest - Mr. C.M. Burns

Heroes - David Bowie

2014:

Oh Comely - Neutral Milk Hotel

Abattoir Blues - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

One Way To Go - The Verve

Heat Of The Moment - Asia

Can't Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley

Strange And Beautiful - Aqualung

Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me - The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron & Wine

Boys Don't Cry - The Cure

Lux Aeterna - Clint Mansell

West Coast - Coconut Records

Something To Do With My Hands - Her Space Holiday

Super-Sonic - The Brian Jonestown Massacre

Teardrop - Massive Attack

Institutionalized - Suicidal Tendencies

She Did A Lot Of Acid - Neutral Milk Hotel

Stagger Lee - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Lorde

Cell Block Tango (He Had It Coming) - Chicago

U Angel U - Elvis Depressedly

Sweet Come Down - The Black Ryder

Outside - The Black Ryder

Stranger Than Kindness - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Nick The Stripper - The Birthday Party

The Killing Type - Amanda Palmer & The Grand Theft Orchestra

Exile Vilify - The National

This Mess We're In - PJ Harvey & Thom Yorke

It Girl - The Brian Jonestown Massacre

Bad Wine And Lemon Cake - The Jane Austen Argument

Champagne Supernova - Oasis

Criminal - Fiona Apple

Pepper - Butthole Surfers

Club Foot - Kasabian

Your Funeral, My Trial - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Blackberry Stone - Laura Marling

2015:

All Flowers In Time Bend Towards The Sun - Jeff Buckley and Elizabeth Fraser

When Doves Cry - Prince

Love Cats - The Cure

Avalanche - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Silver Coin - Angus & Julia Stone

Dickhead - Kate Nash

Fable Theme - Danny Elfman & Russell Shaw

Bigger On The Inside - Amanda Palmer

The Sweetest Embrace - Barry Adamson (featuring Nick Cave)

Harder To Breathe - Maroon 5

Be My Baby - The Ronettes

Strength Through Music - Amanda Palmer

Strawberry Gashes - Jack Off Jill

Bullet Proof... I Wish I Was - Radiohead

Across The Stars - Richard Jones

Pavlov's Daughter - Regina Spektor

Briony - Dario Marianelli

Clone High Theme - Abandoned Pools

Phoenix - The Jane Austen Argument

Babe, You Turn Me On - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Lost Elf Theme - Trevor Morris

Hero - Regina Spektor

Crimson And Clover - Teho Teardro, Blixa Bargeld

2016:

Necessary Evil - The Dresden Dolls

Charmless Man - Blur

Enchanting Ghost - Sufjan Stevens

Enjoy The Silence - Depeche Mode

The Show Must Go On - Queen

Magneto - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Skeleton Tree - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Another Year: A Short History Of Nearly Something - Amanda Palmer

Samson - Regina Spektor

Princess Leia's Theme - John Williams

2017:

Take A Look At My Girlfriend - Supertramp

IDFC (Acoustic) - Blackbear

Age Of Consent - New Order

I'll Make A Man Out Of You - Mulan

House Of Cards - Radiohead

In My Time Of Dying - Led Zeppelin

Work Song - Hozier

Blake Says - Amanda Palmer

I Found A Reason - Cat Power

Satisfied Mind - Jeff Buckley

The Beauty's Wicked Wiles - Masayoshi Soken

Holes - The Jane Austen Argument

Shiola - Murder By Death

Love Me Dead - Ludo

2018: Nothing - I abandoned tumblr and did a lot of healing lol

2019:

My Sweet Lord - George Harrison

Vacation - Vitamin C

2020:

The Man Who Sold The World - David Bowie

2021: Nothing - still not feeling tumblr

2022: Nothing - still getting my shit together

2023: Nothing - it's a process, okay?

2024:

Wild God - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Angel Of The Morning - Juice Newton

Let Me Teach You How To Eat - Reverend Horton Heat

Whatever (I Had A Dream) - Butthole Surfers

Black Me Out - Against Me!

Junkyard - The Birthday Party

Body Like A Back Road - JVZEL

Sleeping Late - Doctor Hook & The Medicine Show

Rabbit Will Run - Iron & Wine

Josh - Peach PRC

Spine - Myrkur

Lazy Bones - Joel Plaskett

John Finn's Wife (Live) - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Radicals - Matthew Good

Psycho - Eddie Noack

KD and Lunch Meat - Boy Golden

Be Gay, Do Drugs, Hail Satan - Super Cassette

Tempel - Colour Haze

When The Trickster Starts A-Poking - Gogol Bordello

My Backwards Walk - Frightened Rabbit

Let's Roll Just Like We Used To - Kasabian

Haunted Cathouse - Nekromantix

Alice's Restaurant Massacre - Arlo Guthrie

Welcome To: - Ani Difranco

Lost River - Murder By Death

I Found A Reason - The Velvet Underground

Son Of Yule - Jex Thoth

Dark Solas Theme - Trevor Morris

A Million Deaths - Fleshgod Apocalypse

Places We Won't Walk - Bruno Major

Let The Day Begin - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

My Friends - Laura Marling

Walk Like A Zombie - Horrorpops

For Whom The Bell Tolls - Metallica

Death Death (Devil, Devil, Evil, Evil Song) - Aurelio Voltaire

We Call Upon The Author - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

I'm Blue - The 5.6.7.8's

Delicate Petite & Other Things I'll Never Be - Against Me!

Frogs - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Tower Of Song - Leonard Cohen

I Am The Antichrist To You - Kishi Bashi

Desire 126 - Hollerado

My Boy Builds Coffins - Florence & The Machine

Maniac - Carpenter Brut

Black Water - Timber Timbre

Slow It Down (Live) - The Lumineers

4 Minute Warning - Radiohead

The Ballad of Lucy Jordan - Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show

Devil Like Me - Rainbow Kitten Surprise

Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft - Klaatu

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo - -Bloodhound Gang

Clap Hands - Tom Waits

The Lyre of Orpheus - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Two Little Girls - Ani Difranco

Mediocrity Rules - Le Tigre

A Bar Song (Tipsy) - Shaboozey

Watermelon Sugar - Harry Styles

Where The Wild Roses Grow (Blixa Version) - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Nita - Pezz

[erwinsvow]

do you have any music recs

SO MANY!!! music is my second biggest interest (after writing lol) and i love to sing. im not sure what genres you like but i've been listening to so much tv girl, beach house, backseat lovers, summer salt, cigarettes after sex, dcfc, cults, cranberries & jack johnson (dont make fun theres a whole story) recently. its my summery vibey playlist

but also my other playlist on repeat is full of brent faiyaz, bryson, playboi, gambino, don toliver, some kendrick (mostly bf recs), and an insane amount of future (truly rafes girlfriend thru and thru)

and my OTHER playlist which is my comfort playlist is all beach boys, beatles, fleetwood mac, elton john, queen, neil young, csn&y, the wings, and lots of lana

i have so many song recs im just gonna include faves from each playlist below!!!

playlist 1: where'd all the time go and my old ways (dr. dog), fade into you (mazzy star), take care & silver soul (beach house), banana panckes and better together (jack johnson), maple syrup (backseat lovers), sunsetz, sweet, starry eyes, apocalypse, k. (cigarettes after sex), stay young go dancing, someday you will be loved, your heart is an empty room, cath (dcfc), candy wrappers (summer salt), just like a movie (wallows) and lovers rock!!!!! (tv girl)

playlist 2: raf & frat rules (asap mob), strapped (asap twelvyy), steppas (a boogie), this is so toxic but... been away, rehab, forever yours, outside all night, trust, poison, all mine, wy@ (brent faiyaz), years go bye, been that way, whatever she wants, outside, sorry no sorry (bryson), telegraph ave & the worst guys (childish gambino), no pole, leave the club, company pt 3 (don toliver), literally any future song, sky (playboi), ghostface killers (21 and offset)

playlist 3: that's not me, don't talk, caroline no, god only knows, don't worry baby, in my room, forever, all i wanna do, our sweet love (beach boys), something, dear prudence, julia, don't let me down, and i love her, i need you, here there and everywhere (the beatles), dreams and linger (cranberries), our house and helplessly hoping (csny), baby (donnie and joe emerson), landslide, gypsy, dreams, silver springs, mystified (fleetwood mac), ballad of sir frankie crisp, isn't it a pity, if not for you, behind that locked door (george harrison), waterloo sunset (the kinks), swan song, terence loves you, heroin, white mustang, love song, california, bel air, sad girl, cruel world, black beauty, guns and roses (lana), harvest moon (neil young), long away, drowse, 39 (queen), sunday morning (velvet underground)

[yesterday05]

run by a system mostly for littles

hi, pinned post, please like if you read, tysm❤️

no nsfw / kink interaction here, please, and in addition we personally avoid pacifiers + diapers the latter of which is usually triggering, thanks*

*we are OK with regressors or syskids who find comfort in pacifiers or d*apers, we just personally dislike them / have trauma surrounding them in regards to regression

playlist for your troubles

main is @b0xspring, sys specific blog is @boxspringz. other littles w/o blogs listed might reblog things as well but we try to keep the general stuff here. he/it collectively, age ranges are pretty varied but typically the littles here posting are around 6. non traumagen systems please dni, no syscourse etc we’re too tired to get into anything

might try to tag some posts? writing this very blurry and possibly overall regressed rn but here are some emoji tags for some frequent posters & their blogs (if they feel comfortable enough to share)

🌈 izzy: she/they @izzyshy

🎋 baby / julia: any @bubbabouncer

🦊 ren / clover: she/he @sleepingkitsune

🦋 girl / luna: she/her @liddellgirl (cw?)*

🎀 girl / lizzie: she/it

🐈 kitty / riley: she/her [this blog! also izzy’s]

🐶 lulu: she/they @oupylulu

⏱️ link: he/him @lullabyboy (not very active)

🕯️ wax: she/any @waxwormwood

📦 box: she/he [this blog!]

🐺 hunter: he/him @huntergrave (cw/tw)*

work in progress, more below the cut if you’re interested

*could have potentially upsetting content reblogged/not entirely just regression posts

some more interests / identities . . .

🌈 izzy !

- mlp (esp. fluttershy), wolves, twilight princess, rainbows, iridescence & opalite, animal jam, coraline, nintendo wii + gamecube, sesame street (esp. elmo & julia), geese, cats, ferrets, namine (kingdom hearts), eevee

🎋 baby / bouncer / julia / mei !

- red pandas, turning red, sesame street (esp. julia), stuffed animals, toys, nature, bingo heeler

🦊 ren / clover / nanako !

- madoka magica / magical girls, nanako dojima, persona 4, pokémon (esp. fox pokémon), animal jam, futaba sakura, huohuo (hsr), qiqi (genshin), star guardian ahri + soraka (league of legends), the fox & the hound, clovers, studio ghibli (esp. spirited away & ponyo)

🦋 girl / luna !

- alice liddell (alice: madness returns), mourning doves, mlp (esp. princess luna), lavenza (persona 5), coraline, the color blue

🎀 girl / lizzie !

- mangle (fnaf), natsuki (ddlc), the color pink, parties, ldshadowlady + minecraft

🐈 kitty / riley / anne-marie !

- animal jam, inside out, tangled, pokémon, webkinz, wolf children, animal crossing (esp. population growing/gcn), peewee’s playhouse, spongebob squarepants, super mario games, dragonball, mlp (esp. twilight sparkle), pound puppies, littlest pet shop, tmnt 2012, all dogs go to heaven, land before time, cats

🐶 lulu !

- blues clues, bluey, littlest pet shop, pound puppies, scooby doo, dog with a blog

⏱️ link / boy / hero !

- ocarina of time + majora’s mask, cows, horses, chickens, minecraft, princess zelda & navi, koroks, teddie / kuma (persona 4)

🕯️ wax / marcy / briar !

- candles, spirals, pink + white + black, vocaloid (esp. hatsune miku), opossums, cookie run (esp. milky way cookie), little white kitties, draculaura, adventure time (esp. marceline)

📦 box / angel !

- general early 2000-2010’s nostalgia, most of everyone’s interests combined, twilight princess, rain, blankets + stuffed animals, nighttime, animal jam, red pandas + wolves, calico cats, deer, lambs, tales of symphonia, adventure time, the owl house, amphibia, gravity falls, littlest pet shop, my little pony (fim + g3), sleepovers / pillow forts / safe places

🐺 hunter !

- the owl house, any & all halloween nostalgia, autumn, red cardinals + other birds, wolves, twilight princess, plants, gladion (pokémon usum)

[coolmusiccentral]

Top 50 Albums of 2022

Happy New Year to all! Let's start 2023 with our selection of the best albums that 2022 had to offer, a list that focuses mostly on rock music and its various guises, from the sublime folk rock of Big Thief, to the majestic post-punk of Dry Cleaning, Fontaines D.C. or Horsegirl, from the ethereal indie pop of Beach House to the psychedelic sounds of The Black Angels and everything else in this vast and diverse musical biosphere.

Here are our Top 50 Albums of 2022 (plus a few more), accompanied by a playlist with some of the standout tracks from these excellent records:

Top 50 Albums

Dragon new warm mountain I believe in you - BIG THIEF

Stumpwork - DRY CLEANING

Skinty fia - FONTAINES D.C.

Versions of modern performance - HORSEGIRL

Once twice melody - BEACH HOUSE

Wilderness of mirrors - THE BLACK ANGELS

How do you burn? - THE AFGHAN WHIGS

Lucifer on the sofa - SPOON

Blue rev - ALVVAYS

Hellfire - BLACK MIDI

Wet Leg - WET LEG

The overload - YARD ACT

Loggerhead - WU-LU

Time bend and break the bower - SINEAD O' BRIEN

Cool it down - YEAH YEAH YEAHS

Endless rooms - ROLLING BLACKOUTS COASTAL FEVER

Endure - SPECIAL INTEREST

A light for attracting attention - THE SMILE

Covers - CAT POWER

Fear of the dawn - JACK WHITE

Spencer gets it lit - JON SPENCER & THE HITMAKERS

When the wind forgets your name - BUILT TO SPILL

Tired of liberty - THE LOUNGE SOCIETY

Classic objects - JENNY HVAL

Anywhere but here - SORRY

Broken equipment - BODEGA

Reeling - THE MYSTERINES

Radiate like this - WARPAINT

Warm Chris - ALDOUS HARDING

Laurel hell - MITSKI

Waterslide, diving board, ladder to the sky - PORRIDGE RADIO

Everything was beautiful - SPIRITUALIZED

YTI⅃AƎЯ - BILL CALLAHAN

Pompeii - CATE LE BON

Labyrinthitis - DESTROYER

Mr. Morale & the big steppers - KENDRICK LAMAR

Fear fear - WORKING MEN'S CLUB

My other people - TV PRIEST

Big time - ANGEL OLSEN

We've been going about this all wrong - SHARON VAN ETTEN

Ants from up there - BLACK COUNTRY, NEW ROAD

The car - ARCTIC MONKEYS

The boy named If - ELVIS COSTELLO & THE IMPOSTERS

Doggerel - PIXIES

Wild loneliness - SUPERCHUNK

Growing up - THE LINDA LINDAS

Heart under - JUST MUSTARD

The other side of make-believe - INTERPOL

Life is yours - FOALS

Topical dancer - CHARLOTTE ADIGÉRY & BOLIS PUPUL

More recommendations: Oh death - GOAT, Expert in a dying field - THE BETHS, Sometimes, forever - SOCCER MOMMY, And in the darkness, hearts aglow - WEYES BLOOD, (watch my moves) - KURT VILE, Sonancy - LOOP, Most normal - GILLA BAND, God save the animals - ALEX G, Time skiffs - ANIMAL COLLECTIVE, Formentera - METRIC, We - ARCADE FIRE, Headful of sugar - SUNFLOWER BEAN, See through you - A PLACE TO BURY STRANGERS, Black pearl - 50 FOOT WAVE, Ultraviolet battle hymns and true confessions - THE DREAM SYNDICATE, "Hello, hi" - TY SEGALL, Entering heaven alive - JACK WHITE, Dance fever - FLORENCE + THE MACHINE, This is what we do - LEFTFIELD, No thank you - LITTLE SIMZ, Tableau - THE ORIELLES, Reason in decline - ARCHERS OF LOAF, The Mars Volta - THE MARS VOLTA, Cheat codes - DANGER MOUSE & BLACK THOUGHT, Inner world peace - FRANKIE COSMOS, Here is everything - THE BIG MOON, The line is a curve - KAE TEMPEST, Fossora - BJÖRK, Asphalt meadows - DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE, Everything was forever - SEA POWER, Pre pleasure - JULIA JACKLIN, Fire doesn’t grow on trees - THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE, XI: Bleed here now - AND YOU WILL KNOW US BY THE TRAIL OF DEAD, Angus tempus memoir - BLUE ORCHIDS, A foul form - OSEES

[dossantosspirit]

Top 100 songs of 2022

100º Amber Mark – What It Is 99º Suede – She Still Leads Me On 98º The Blaze – The Dreamer 97º Freddie Gibbs – Couldn’t Be Done (ft. Kelly Price) 96º Father John Misty – Q4 95º Chappell Roan – Femininominon 94º Placebo – Beautiful James 93º Sharon Van Etten – Anything 92º The Smile – The Smoke 91º Stella Donnelly – How Was Your Day  90º Bartees Strange – Wretched 89º Sudan Archives – Selfish Soul 88º Demi Lovato – 29 87º Katy J Pearson – Talk Over Town 86º Oliver Sim – Hideous (ft. Jimmy Somerville) 85º Soul Glo – Gold Chain Punk (whogonbeatmyass?) 84º Arlo Parks – Softly 83º Cass McCombs – Belong To Heaven 82º The 1975 – Oh Caroline 81º TSHA – OnlyL (ft. NIMMO) 80º Carly Rae Jepsen – Western Wind 79º Brockhampton – Brockhampton 78º Arctic Monkeys – Body Paint 77º Lizzo – About Damn Time 76º FLO – Cardboard Box 75º Jean Dawson – Three Heads* 74º Stormzy – Mel Made Me Do It 73º Let’s Eat Grandma – Levitation 72º Porridge Radio – The Rip 71º RM – Still Life (ft. Anderson .Paak) 70º Maggie Rogers – That’s Where I Am 69º PUP – Cutting Off The Corners 68º BABYMETAL - Monochrome 67º Sampa The Great – Never Forget (ft. Chef 187, Tio Nason & Mwanje) 66º Dry Cleaning – Don’t Press Me 65º Charli XCX – Beg For You (ft. Rina Sawayama) 64º Laufey – Fragile 63º Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever – The Way It Shatters 62º Nilüfer Yanya – anotherlife 61º The Beths – Expert In A Dying Field 60º MUNA – Anything But Me 59º First Aid Kit – Out Of My Head 58º Just Mustard – Still 57º Alt-j – Happier When You’re Gone 56º Kendrick Lamar – Die Hard (ft. Blxst & Amanda Reifer) 55º Florist – Red Bird Pt. 2 (Morning) 54º Confidence Man – Holiday 53º Danger Mouse – Belize (ft. MF DOOM) 52º ROSALÍA – Hentai 51º Plains – Problem With It 50º Beabadoobee – The Perfect Pair 49º Beyoncé – Alien Superstar 48º Big Thief – Simulation Swarm 47º Ghost – Darkness At The Heart Of My Love 46º Aldous Harding – Fever 45º Nas – 30 44º Noah Cyrus – Noah (Stand Still) [ft. Billy Ray Cyrus] 43º Fred Again.. – Danielle (Smile On My Face) 42º Beach House – New Romance 41º The Weeknd – Less Than Zero 40º Horsegirl – Anti-Glory 39º Julia Jacklin – Lydia Wears A Cross 38º FKA Twigs – Oh My Love 37º Tomberlin – Happy Accident 36º WILLOW – Split 35º Hurray For The Riff Raff – Pierced Arrows 34º Rina Sawayama – This Hell 33º Vince Staples – MAGIC (ft. Mustard) 32º Kevin Morby – This Is A Photograph 31º Nilüfer Yanya – The Dealer 30º Harry Styles – As It Was 29º Black Country, New Road – The Place Where He Inserted The Blade 28º Mitski – Love Me More 27º Pusha T – Diet Coke 26º Weyes Blood – It’s Not Just Me, It’s Everybody 25º Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Wolf 24º Angel Olsen – All The Good Times 23º SZA – Ghost In The Machine (ft. Phoebe Bridgers) 22º Nova Twins – Antagonist 21º Caroline Polachek – Billions 20º Taylor Swift – Anti-Hero 19º Kae Tempest – More Pressure (ft. Kevin Abstract) 18º Wet Leg – Angelica 17º Megan Thee Stallion – Plan B 16º Soccer Mommy – Shotgun 15º Phoenix – Tonight (ft. Ezra Koenig) 14º Bad Bunny – Neverita 13º Fontaines D.C. – I Love You 12º Alvvays – Belinda Says 11º Alex G – Runner 10º ROSALÍA – Saoko 9º Jockstrap – Concrete Over Water 8º Yeule – Bites On My Neck 7º Denzel Curry – Walkin 6º SZA – Kill Bill 5º Sudan Archives – Home Maker 4º Kendrick Lamar – N95 3º Nilüfer Yanya – Midnight Sun 2º Steve Lacy – Bad Habit 1º Ethel Cain – American Teenager

>>> Link for the playlist on Spotify <<<

[nefarious-nightjar]

tagged by the lovely @victoriancryptid to put a playlist on shuffle and share the first 10 songs that play!

these are from my Pressured To Party playlist

Pressure To Party by Julia Jacklin

Parklife by Blur

London Calling by The Clash

Crimson and Clover by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

Shine On by The House of Love

People Are Strange by The Doors

Black Sheep - Brie Larson Version by Metric

Road Rage by Catatonia

Pata Pata - stero version by Miriam Makeba

Animal Nitrate by The London Suede

thanks for the tag, this was fun :))

Tagging: @dorianmustdie @ekoshadow @moxie0kay @empresspengwin

I hope it's okay that I tagged you. don't feel obligated to participate if you aren't comfortable! <333

[katyliz415]

lil nas x said mpreg rights | my favorite songs from the plague year (2!)

2020 playlist | 2019 playlist | 2018 playlist

full tracklist under cut

arizona / ms. white // blaze & sybil's lullaby / ben dickey & alia shawkat // don't wanna / haim // brothers / hanggai // guitar song (live) / frou frou // the wellerman / the norfolk broads // julianna calm down / the chicks // let the tall ships sail / walter martin // my lagan love / the chieftains w/ lisa hannigan // ain't got no (i got life) / nina simone // silver dagger / dolly parton // infatuation / sophie // travelers / andrew prahlow // ode to billie joe / bobbie gentry // all together now / ok go // stil love / great caesar // rooftop dancing / sylvan esso // robert henry / the westerlies // doom days / bastille // in waves / house of waters // thunder clatter / wild cub // dear august / pj harding & noah cyrus // slow dancing / aly & aj // pledging my love / fawn wood // sono inochi / kaho nakamura // harlem / jazzboy // whiskey c'est mon ami / pine leaf boys // fabulous / c.u.t. // hainamady town / toumani diabete & the london symphony orchestra // runaway (guitar acoustic) / aurora // difyrrwch / the trials of cato // with you (a sweet little love song) / valeria june // half a mind / freddy & francine // in his arms / jack ingram, miranda lambert, & jon randall // angel island / the brother brothers // montero (call me by your name) / lil nas x // sahara / debanjan biswas & akshay dabhadkar // symptom of your touch / aly & aj // halfway tree / the east pointers // kiss me more / doja cat & sza // jubilee / the war and treaty // mara / jack garrett / ooh ahh! / miguel // fraulein / colter wall & tyler childers // the medicine man / keb' mo' & old crow medicine show // fruits of my labor / waxahatchee // buzz / maddie medley // whipporwill / chance mccoy // train song / feist and benjamin gibbard // garden / nahko and medicine for the people // down the road / stan rogers // rita mae young / the record company // last laugh / elise davis // empty threat / chvrches // find yourself / lukas nelson and promise of the real // dog in a manger / smooth hound smith // don't lose sight / lawrence // krivo polska / hazelius hedin, esbjorn hazelius, & johan hedin // i wish i was the moon / neko case // pizza day / lucky chops // surefire (piano) / wilderado // pilgrim / john mark mcmillan // live for it / moon taxi // remember when / tinashe // this can't be love / dinah washington // getaway / vincint & tegan and sara // without your love / the paper kites w/ julia stone // breath i breathe / ayla nereo // be and bring me home / neko case // jalebi baby / tesher & jason derulo // colors / black pumas // water me down / vagabon // stay (little dragon remix) / valerie june // shade of yellow / griff // cloudy day / tones and i // wine, beer, whiskey / little big town // song of my returning / phil ochs // skate / silk sonic // magnolia blues / adia victoria // i need my girl / aly & aj // rumors / lizzo feat. cardi b // long tailed winter bird / paul mccartney & idris elba // worry no more / amos lee // can't do much / waxahatchee // butter / bts feat. megan thee stallion // love's been a little bit hard on me / juice newton // devil like me / rainbow kitten surprise // in the image / beverly glenn-copeland // hands up / bent knee // verona (stripped) / geographer // coming home / honne feat. niki // oba, la vem ela / jorge ben jor

[thoraway125]

almost every song Sara Quin has recommended

A Playlist

AFI

A Flock Of Seagulls- I Ran

Again Me!- Boyfriend

AHOHNI- Drone Bomb Me

Alex Lahey- You Don’t Think You Like People Like Me

Allison Crutchfield- Dean’s Room

Allison Weiss- Runaway

All Of This- Perera Elsewhere

ALMA- Chasing Heights

Alvvays

Alycia Keys- Try Sleeping with A Broken Heart

Ani DiFranco

Annie Lennox

An Horse

Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavilion  

Bangles

ASTR- Operate

Atari Teenage Riot

A Tribe Called Red- R.E.D

Austra- I Love You More Than You Love Yourself Babes in Toyland

Bancks- Gemini Feed

Baths

Baybee- Jay Som

Beach House- Sparks, Lemon Glow

Bebe Rexha- Meant to Be

Bec Sandridge- In the Fog, in the Flame

Ben Folds

Betty Who- You Can Cry Tomorrow

Beyonce- Lemonade

Bikini Kill

Billy Idol- Mony Mony 

Bleached- Wednesday Night Melody, Can You Deal?, Flipside

Bleachers- Don’t Take The Money

BLK- My Hood - Stormzy

Blood Orange- You're Not Good Enough, It Is What It Is 

Bob Marley

Body- Julia Jacklin 

Bone thugs and Harmony

Bon Jovi- wanted dead or alive, you give love a bad name 

Bowie

Britta Phillips- Mistress America

Broken Social Scene- Hug of Thunder, Almost Crimes Bruce Springsteen- Im on Fire, Dancing in the Dark, The River, Live 1975-85 (this particular version https://youtu.be/gg3DleXrT-o) Bryan Adams

Bjork- I've seen it all 

Buck 65- Square Two

Cake

Carrie Brownstein

Caribou- Can’t Do Without You

Cassie- Me & U

Chairlift- Romeo

Charli XCX- Track 10

Charlotte Day Wilson- Work

Chloe x Halle0 Drop

Christine and The Queens- iT, Saint Claude 

Chris Walla

CHVRCHES

Classixx- Borderline

City and Colour

Cold Specks

Collide- Krasnoyarsk

Corey Hart- Sunglasses At Night

Couer de Pirate

Cyndi Lauper- The Goonies Are Good Enough, Time After Time

Cypress Hill

Dallas Green

Death Cab for Cutie 

Debbie Wiseman- Wolf Hall

DEDE- Faultline (Single Edit)

Deradoorian- A Beautiful Woman

DIANA- Confession, Perpetual Surrender

Dinosaur Jr

DJDS- Trees On Fire

Dolly Parton

Doveman

Drake- No Tellin Dream- Love/Hate

Diana- Perpetual Surrender

Electrelane - Rock It to the Moon, no shouts no calls

Empress Of- How Do You DO It

Emylia Argan

Erasure

Eugene Francis Jnr

Everything but the Girl

Fatima Al Qadiri- Hip Hop Spa, Szechuan

Feist- Pleasure album

Fever Ray- Mustn’t Hurry

First Aid Kit

FKA Twigs- Good To Love

Four Tet

Francis and the Lights- May I Have This Dance

Frankie Cosmos- Sinister, Accommodation 

Frank Ocean Thinking About You

Friends- I'm His Girl 

FUN Fugazi

Future Islands- Ran

George Hill

Gilligan Moss- It Felt Right

Girlpool- Chinatown

Glass Animals

Gogol Bordello 

Gossip

Green Day

Grimes- Flesh Without Blood

Grizzly Bear

HAIM- Want You Back

Halsey- Now Or Never

HANA

Hank Williams

Hannah Georgas- Don’t Go, Needed Me

Hayley Kiyoko- Girls Like Girls

Hole

Holly Miranda

Hot Hot Heat

IDER- Face On

Jack Johnson

James Ilha

Jamie xx- Girl

Japanese Breakfast- Machinist

Jeremih- Pass Dat

Joanna Newsom - Have One On Me 

John Hopkins- I remember

Johnny Cash

Joni Mitchell

John Hopkins- Abandon Window, I remember

Jonathan Coulton

Justin Bieber- Purpose, Runaway Love Justin Timberlake-  FutureSex/LoveSounds Kaki King

Kate Bush

Katy Perry- Chained To The Rhythm

Kathryn Bostic- Love Theme

Kelela- Rewind- Sporting Life Remix

Kieran Hebden & Steve Reid - The Exchange Session, Vol. 2

Kelly Lee Owens- Birds

K.Flay- Black Wave

Kid Cudi- The Commander

Kieran Hebden & Steve Reid - The Exchange Session, Vol. 2

Kimya Dawson- So Nice So Smart

Kinnie Starr

Korn

KraftWork

KT Tunstall- Hard Girls

Kygo- It Ain’t Me (with Selena Gomez)

Kylie Minogue

Lapsley- Hurt Me

LCD Soundsystem- Tonite

Leonard Cohen- Came So Far For Beauty

Leo Kalyan- Fucked Up

Led Zeppelin

Light Asylum- Shallow Tears

Lily Allen 

Lorde- Green Light

Lou Reed- Satellite of Love

Lowell

Lower Dens- To Die in LA, Real Thing

Lucius- My Heart Got Caught On Your Sleeve 

Lupa J- Numb

Neil Young

New Found Glory

New Kids on the Block

New Order

New Skin- Torres

No Shouts No Calls

Nick Jonas- Jealous

Nicolas Jaar- No

Night Terrors

Nirvana

Noname 

Nothing to be Frightened of by Julian Barnes

Now Now

Madonna- Holiday

Majid Jordan (ft Drake)- My Love

Mapei- Don’t Wait

Mariah Carey

Matthew Dear

Melissa Etheridge

Mica Levi- Death

Michelle Branch- Hopeless Romantic

Mike Elizondo

Milli Vanilli - Blame It On the Rain

Miriam Culter- Ethel Main Title

Mitski

Montaigne- Because I Love You

Moonriser- I’m Not Something Special

Moses Sumney- Doomed

Mother Mother

MUNA- Winterbreak, I Know A Place, About You album

Mykki Blanco- Loner

My Bloody Valentine

My Midnight Heart

My So Called Life

Paramore- After Laughter, Told You So

Passion Pit

Paul Williams

Peaches

Porches- Anymore, Be Apart

Partner Band- In Search of Lost Time

Patsy Cline

Pattern Against User 

Perera Elsewhere- All of This

Perfume Genius- Slip Away

Phantogram- Answer 

Pheonix- J-Boy

Phil Collins- Groovy Kind of Love

Post Pavillon

Prince- I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man, Little Red  Corvette

PWR BTTM- I Wanna Boi

Q Tip

Rachel Cantu

Rachel Portman- Vianne Sets Up Shop

Ra Ra Riot

RAY BLK- My Hood

REM- Sweetness

Ria Mae- Ooh Love

Richard Marx- Right here waiting

Rihanna- Russian Roulette, Umbrella, Higher, Love On The Brain

Robyn- Do it Again, Love is free (moon boots remix) 

Rolling Stones

Röysksopp- Something in my Heart

Rufus Wainwright

Ruth B- If This is Love Ryan Adams

Santigold

Samphaaa- Process Album 

Sample- Blood on Me

Shamir- If It Wasn’t True 

Sharon Van Etten- Everytime The Sun Comes Up

Serena Ryder- Electric Love

Shondells

Shura- What’s It Gonna Be?

Simple Minds- All The Things She Said

Sinead O’Connor

Siya- Automatic

Smashing Pumpkins- Siamese Dream

Snailmail- Thinning

SNAP!- Rhythm Is A Dancer - 7” Edit

SOHN- Hard Liquor

Solange- Mad

Spoon- They Way We Get By

Speak

Steel Train

Stereogum

Stevie Nicks

St. Vincent, Actor

Supertramp

Supreme

Taylor Swift- 1989

Teenage Fanclub

The Bangles

The Beaches

The Black Keys

The Courtneys

The Cranberries- Dreams on My So Called Life

The Dream- Love Hate, Love vs Money

The Enemy- Bigger Cages, Longer Chains 

The Jezabels- Hurt Me

The Killers

The Lemon Twigs

The New Pornographers

Theophilus London

The Pretenders- 500 Miles The Police- Roxanne- I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man, Little Red Corvette The Ramones

The Reason

The Regrettes- Hey Now

The Rentals- The Man With Two Brains

The Replacements

The Smiths

The White Stripes

The xx- xx (2009), Say Something Loving

Thingamajig- Miya Folick 

Tracy Chapman- Fast Car

Tom Petty

Tom Cochrane

Tony Bennet

Too Attached 

Torres

Tove Styrke- Say My Name

Tragically Hip

Tribe Called Quest

U2 - Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horse

Us- Empress of

Vagabon- Fear & Force

Vector Xing- Bubble King

Vanbot- Collide, Krasnoyarsk, Not That Kind, Moscow Veckatimest Vivek Shraya- Part Time Woman

VHS or Beta

Violent Femmes 

Warpaint- Whiteout

Waters

Waxahatchee- Silver

Weavves

Weezer

When I’m with Him- Empress of

White Lung- Hungry. Kiss Me When I Bleed

Whitney houston- I look to you, million dollar bill, I will always love you

Wrabel- Bloodstain

Yaeji 

Yeah Yeah Yeahs

[ninjnerd-anaklusmos]

Time to Commit Crime Brûlèe:

A playlist

Graveyard; Halsey

Partners In Crime; Set It Off, Ash Costello

Play With Fire; Sam Tinnesz, Yacht Money

Middle Finger; Bohnes

you should see me in a crown; Billie Eilish

Despicable; grandson

Devil On My Shoulder; Faith Marie

If I Killed Someone For You; Alec Benjamin

Twisted; MISSIO

BLAME IT ON THE KIDS; AViVA

Angry Too; Lola Blanc

Sociopath; StayLoose, Bryce Fox

Saints; Echos

Redemption; Besomorph, Coopex, RIELL

Serial Killer; Moncrieff, JUDGE

Who Am I; Besomorph, RIELL

It's My Party; Obey Me! Boys

Angels Like You; Miley Cyrus

Disturbia; The Sequence

Therefore I Am; Rain Paris

This Little Girl; Cady Groves

PLAYING WITH FIRE; BLACKPINK

Panic Room; Au/Ra

Darkside; grandson

Bordeline; Nico Collins

Cry Baby; American Avenue, Kaile Wolfe

HARLEY FVCKING QUINN; Sarah de Warren, Biometrix, Marcus McCoan

Joke's On You; Charlotte Lawrence

Killer; Valerie Broussard

vicious; Tate McRae

I Did Something Bad; Taylor Swift

This Mountain; Faouzia

Savage; Bahari

Animal I Have Become; Three Days Grace

Boss Bitch; Doja Cat

I'm Gonna Show You Crazy; Bebe Rexha

Nightmare; Halsey

Born Without A Heart; Faouzia

The Best; Future Royalty

jealousy, jealousy; Olivia Rodrigo

Control; Halsey

Walls Could Talk; Halsey

Nightmare; Besomorph, RIELL

Queen; Loren Gray

Dandelion; Gabbie Hanna

Mad Hatter; Melanie Martinez

Like A Vampire; Catrien

Tag, You're It; Melanie Martinez

Super Psycho Love; Simon Curtis

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things; Taylor Swift

Wasabi; Little Mix

brutal; Olivia Rodrigo

One Woman Army; Porcelain Black

good 4 u; Olivia Rodrigo

Bad Bitch; Bebe Rexha, Ty Dolla $ign

RABBIT HOLE; AViVA

Class Fight; Melanie Martinez

Alone; Nico Collins

Liar, Liar; Peyton List

Butterflies; Zendaya

Killing Butterflies; Lewis Blissett

Burned; Grace VanderWaal

Pit Of Vipers; Simon Curtis

Sorry Not Sorry; Demi Lovato

Bad Enough For You; All Time Low

Therefore I Am; Billie Eilish

Dance In The Dark; Au/Ra

Everything Black; Unlike Pluto, Mike Taylor

House Of Memories; Panic! At The Disco

parents; YUNGBLUD

Sarcasm; Get Scared

Bad Word; Panicland

Not Afraid; GJan

Blood // Water; grandson

Let You Down; NF

Bad Child; Tones And I

Kill This Love; Social Repose

Take You To Hell; Ava Max

Wolf In Sheep's Clothing; Set It Off

Cradles; Sub Urban

Vulture, Vulture; Of Monsters And Men

break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored; Ariana Grande

IDGAF; Dua Lipa

Queen of Mean; Sarah Jeffrey

Siren; Kailee Morgue

Teeth; 5SOS

Like Lovers Do; Hey Violet

Paranoia; Neoni

Bad Blood; Taylor Swift

Dead Girl! (Shake My Head); Au/Ra, Faith Maire

no body, no crime; Taylor Swift, HAIM

Anxiety; Besomorph, The Tech Thieves

EVIL; AViVA

Hostage; Besomorph, RIELL

Here Comes Trouble; Neoni

Lie To Me; RIELL

WICKED; AViVA

Reaper; Glaceo, RIELL

Not Your Baby; Cadmium, Jex

Lost In Translation; Besomorph, Veronica Bravo

Eat You Alive; Cadmium, Skrybe, RIELL

Burn The House Down; AJR

Sweet Dreams; Besomorph

Monster; Besomorph

CEMETERY; AViVA

Shameless; Biometrix, Bolshiee

all the good girls go to hell; Billie Eilish

Heaven; Julia Michaels

Lovely; Midsplit, No-One, bhea, A-SHO

Dancing With The Devil; Alter

STFD; TeZAtalks

911; Ellise

Keep It To Myself; Ellise

On Accident; Nico Collins

Crash; Neovaiii

Ghost; Nic Collins

Venom; Icon For Hire

Burning House; Nico Collins

That's the playlist! Thank you for checking it out! Feel free to send in an ask with a suggestion for this playlist, as I feel it might be missing something.

[unknown-songs]

BLACK LIVES MATTER

A list with black artists who have a song in the Unknown Songs That Should Be Known-playlist (Can be a black artist in a band or just solo-artist) (no specific genre)

Bull’s Eye - Blacknuss, Prince Prime - Funk Aftershow - Joe Fox - Alternative Hip-hop Strangers in the Night - Ben L’Oncle Soul - Soul Explore - Mack Wilds - R&B Something To Do - IGBO - Funk

Down With The Trumpets - Rizzle Kicks - Pop Dans ta ville - Dub Inc. - Reggae Dance or Die - Brooklyn Funk Essentials - Funk FACELESS - The PLAYlist, Glenn Lewis - R&B Tell Me Father - Jeangu Macrooy - Soul

Southern Boy - John The Conquerer - Blues Hard Rock Savannah Grass - Kes - Dancehall Dr. Funk - The Main Squeeze - Funk Seems I’m Never Tired of Loving You - Lizz Wright - Jazz Out of My Hands - TheColorGrey, Oddisee - Hip-Hop/Pop

Raised Up in Arkansas - Michael Burks - Blues Black Times - Sean Kuti, Egypt 80, Carlos Santana - Afrobeat Cornerstone - Benjamin Clementine - Indie Shine On - R.I.O., Madcon - Electronic Pop Bass On The Line - Bernie Worrell - Funk

When We Love - Jhené Aiko - R&B Need Your Love - Curtis Harding - Soul Too Dry to Cry - Willis Earl Beal - Folk Your House - Steel Pulse - Reggae Power - Moon Boots, Black Gatsby - Deep House

Vinyl Is My Bible - Brother Strut - Funk Diamond - Izzy Biu - R&B Elusive - blackwave., David Ngyah - Hip-hop Don’t Ever Let Nobody Drag Your Spirit Down - Heritage Blues Orchestra - Blues Sastanàqqàm - Tinariwen - Psychedelic Rock

Disco To Go - Brides of Funkenstein - Funk/Soul Circles - Durand Jones & The Indications - Retro Pop Cheesin’ - Cautious Clay, Remi Wolf, sophie meiers - R&B Changes - Charles Bradley - Soul The Sweetest Sin - RAEVE - House

Gyae Su - Pat Thomas, Kwashibu Area Band - Funk What Am I to Do - Ezra Collective, Loyle Carner - Hip-hop Get Your Groove On - Cedric Burnside - Blues Old Enough To Know Better - Steffen Morrisson - Soul Wassiye - Habib Koité - Khassonke musique

Dance Floor - Zapp - Funk Wake Up - Brass Against, Sophia Urista - Brass Hard-Rock BIG LOVE - Black Eyed Peas - Pop The Greatest - Raleigh Ritchie - R&B DYSFUNCTIONAL - KAYTRANADA, VanJess - Soul

See You Leave - RJD2, STS, Khari Mateen - Hip-hop Sing A Simple Song - Maceo Parker - Jazz/Funk Have Mercy - Eryn Allen Kane - Soul Homenage - Brownout - Latin Funk Can’t Sleep - Gary Clark Jr. - Blues Rock

Toast - Koffee - Dancehall Freedom - Ester Dean - R&B Iskaba - Wande Coal, DJ Tunez - Afropop High Road - Anthony Riley - Alternative Christian Sunny Days - Sabrina Starke - Soul

The Talking Fish - Ibibio Sound Machine - Funk Paralyzed - KWAYE - Indie Purple Heart Blvd - Sebastian Kole - Pop WORSHIP - The Knocks, MNEK - Deep House BMO - Ari Lennox - R&B

Promises - Myles Sanko - Soul .img - Brother Theodore - Funk Singing the Blues - Ruthie Foster, Meshell Ndegeocello - Blues Nobody Like You - Amartey, SBMG, The Livingtons - Hip-hop Starship - Afriquoi, Shabaka Hutchings, Moussa Dembele - Deep House

Lay My Troubles Down - Aaron Taylor - Funk  Bloodstream - Tokio Myers - Classic Sticky - Ravyn Lenae - R&B Why I Try - Jalen N’Gonda - Soul Motivation - Benjamin Booker - Folk

quand c’est - Stromae - Pop Let Me Down (Shy FX Remix) - Jorja Smith, Stormzy, SHY FX - Reggae Funny - Gerald Levert - R&B Salt in my Wounds - Shemekia Copeland - Blues Our Love - Samm Henshaw - Soul

Make You Feel That Way - Blackalicious - Jazz Hip-hop Knock Me Out - Vintage Trouble - Funk Take the Time - Ronald Bruner, Jr., Thundercat - Alternative Thru The Night - Phonte, Eric Roberson - R&B Keep Marchin’ - Raphael Saadiq - Soul

Shake Me In Your Arms - Taj Mahal, Keb’ Mo’ - Blues Meet Me In The Middle - Jodie Abascus - Pop Raise Hell - Sir the Baptist, ChurchPpl - Gospel Pop Mogoya - Oumou Sangaré - Wassoulou Where’s Yesterday - Slakah The Beatchild - Hip-hop

Lose My Cool - Amber Mark - R&B New Funk - Big Sam’s Funky Nation - Funk I Got Love - Nate Dogg - Hip-hop Nothing’s Real But Love - Rebecca Ferguson - Soul Crazy Race - The RH Factor - Jazz

Spies Are Watching Me - Voilaaa, Sir Jean - Funk The Leaders - Boka de Banjul - Afrobeat Fast Lane - Rationale - House Conundrum - Hak Baker - Folk Don’t Make It Harder On Me - Chloe x Halle - R&B

Plastic Hamburgers - Fantastic Negrito - Hardrock Beyond - Leon Bridges - Pop God Knows - Dornik - Soul Soleil de volt - Baloji - Afrofunk Do You Remember - Darryl Williams, Michael Lington - Jazz Get Back - McClenney - Alternative Three Words - Aaron Marcellus - Soul

Spotify playlist 

In memory of:

Aaron Bailey Adam Addie Mae Collins Ahmaud Arbery Aiyana Stanley Jones Akai Gurley Alberta Odell Jones Alexia Christian Alfonso Ferguson Alteria Woods Alton Sterling Amadou Diallo Amos Miller Anarcha Westcott Anton de Kom Anthony Hill Antonio Martin Antronie Scott Antwon Rose Jr. Arthur St. Clair Atatiana Jefferson Aubrey Pollard Aura Rosser Bennie Simons Berry Washington Bert Dennis Bettie Jones Betsey Billy Ray Davis Bobby Russ Botham Jean Brandon Jones Breffu Brendon Glenn Breonna Taylor Bud Johnson Bussa

Calin Roquemore Calvin McDowell Calvin Mike and his family Carl Cooper Carlos Carson Carlotta Lucumi Carol Denise McNair Carol Jenkins Carole Robertson Charles Curry Charles Ferguson Charles Lewis Charles Wright Charly Leundeu Keunang Chime Riley Christian Taylor Christopher Sheels Claude Neal Clementa Pickney Clifford Glover Clifton Walker Clinton Briggs Clinton R. Allen Cordella Stevenson Corey Carter Corey Jones Cynthia Marie Graham Hurd Cynthia Wesley

Daniel L. Simmons Danny Bryant Darius Randell Robinson Darius Tarver Darrien Hunt Darrius Stewart David Felix David Joseph David McAtee David Walker and his family Deandre Brunston Deborah Danner Delano Herman Middleton Demarcus Semer Demetrius DuBose Depayne Middleton-Doctor Dion Johnson Dominique Clayton Dontre Hamilton Dred Scott

Edmund Scott Ejaz Choudry Elbert Williams Eleanor Bumpurs Elias Clayton Elijah McClain Eliza Woods Elizabeth Lawrence Elliot Brooks Ellis Hudson Elmer Jackson Elmore Bolling Emantic Fitzgerald Bradford Jr. Emmett Till Eric Garner Eric Harris Eric Reason Ernest Lacy Ernest Thomas Ervin Jones Eugene Rice Eugene Williams Ethel Lee Lance Ezell Ford

Felix Kumi Frank Livingston Frank Morris Frank Smart Frazier B. Baker Fred Hampton Fred Rochelle Fred Temple Freddie Carlos Gray Jr.

George Floyd George Grant George Junius Stinney Jr. George Meadows George Waddell George Washington Lee Gregory Gunn

Harriette Vyda Simms Moore Harry Tyson Moore Hazel “Hayes” Turner Henry Ezekial Smith Henry Lowery Henry Ruffin Henry Scott Hosea W. Allen

India Kager Isaac McGhie Isadore Banks Italia Marie Kelly

Jack Turner Jamar Clark Jamel Floyd James Byrd Jr. James Craig Anderson James Earl Chaney James Powell James Ramseur James Tolliver James T. Scott Janet Wilson Jason Harrison Javier Ambler J.C. Farmer Jemel Roberson Jerame Reid Jesse Thornton Jessie Jefferson Jim Eastman Joe Nathan Roberts John Cecil Jones John Crawford III John J. Gilbert John Ruffin John Taylor Johnny Robinson Jonathan Ferrell Jonathan Sanders Jordan Edwards Joseph Mann Julia Baker Julius Jones July Perry Junior Prosper

Kalief Browder Karvas Gamble Jr. Keith Childress, Jr. Kelly Gist Kelso Benjamin Cochrane Kendrick Johnson Kenneth Chamberlain Sr. Kenny Long Kevin Hicks Kevin Matthews Kiwane Albert Carrington

Lacy Mitchell Lamar Smith Laquan McDonald Laura Nelson Laura Wood L.B. Reed L.D. Nelson Lemuel Penn Lemuel Walters Leonard Deadwyler Leroy Foley Levi Harrington Lila Bella Carter Lloyd Clay Louis Allen Lucy

M.A. Santa Cruz Maceo Snipes Malcom X Malice Green Malissa Williams Manuel Ellis Marcus Deon Smith Marcus Foster Marielle Franco Mark Clark Maria Martin Lee Anderson Martin Luther King Jr. Matthew Avery Mary Dennis Mary Turner Matthew Ajibade May Noyes Mckenzie Adams Medgar Wiley Evers Michael Brown Michael Donald Michael Griffith Michael Lee Marshall Michael Lorenzo Dean Michael Noel Michael Sabbie Michael Stewart Michelle Cusseaux Miles Hall Moses Green Mya Hall Myra Thompson

Nathaniel Harris Pickett Jr. Natasha McKenna Nicey Brown Nicholas Heyward Jr.

O’Day Short family Orion Anderson Oscar Grant III Otis Newsom

Pamela Turner Paterson Brown Jr. Patrick Dorismond Philando Castile Phillip Pannell Phillip White Phinizee Summerour

Quaco

Ramarley Graham Randy Nelson Raymond Couser Raymond Gunn Regis Korchinski-Paquet Rekia Boyd Renisha McBride Riah Milton Robert Hicks Robert Mallard Robert Truett Rodney King Roe Nathan Roberts Roger Malcolm and his wife Roger Owensby Jr. Ronell Foster Roy Cyril Brooks Rumain Brisbon Ryan Matthew Smith

Sam Carter Sam McFadden Samuel DuBose Samuel Ephesians Hammond Jr. Samuel Hammond Jr. Samuel Leamon Younge Jr. Sandra Bland Sean Bell Shali Tilson Sharonda Coleman-Singleton Shukri Abdi Simon Schuman Slab Pitts Stella Young Stephon Clark Susie Jackson

T.A. Allen Tamir Rice Tamla Horsford Tanisha Anderson Timothy Caughman Timothy Hood Timothy Russell Timothy Stansbury Jr. Timothy Thomas Terrence Crutcher Terrill Thomas Tom Jones Tom Moss Tony McDade Tony Terrell Robinson Jr. Trayvon Martin Troy Hodge Troy Robinson Tula Tyler Gerth Tyre King Tywanza Sanders

Victor Duffy Jr. Victor White III

Walter Lamar Scott Wayne Arnold Jones Wesley Thomas Wilbert Cohen Wilbur Bundley Will Brown Will Head Will Stanley Will Stewart Will Thompson Willie James Howard Willie Johnson Willie McCoy Willie Palmer Willie Turks William Brooks William Butler William Daniels William Fambro William Green William L. Chapman II William Miller William Pittman Wyatt Outlaw

Yusef Kirriem Hawkins

The victims of LaLaurie (1830s) The black victims of the Opelousas massacre (1868) The black victims of the Thibodaux massacre (1887) The black victims of the Wilmington insurrection (1898) The black victims of the Johnson-Jeffries riots (1910) The black victims of the Red summer (1919) The black victims of the Elaine massacre (1919) The black victims of the Ocoee massacre (1920) The victims of the MOVE bombing (1985)

All the people who died during the Atlantic slave trade, be it due to abuse or disease.

All the unnamed victims of mass-incarceration, who were put into jail without the committing of a crime and died while in jail or died after due to mental illness. 

All the unnamed victims of racial violence and discrimination. 

...

My apologies for all the people missing on this list. Feel free to add more names and stories. 

Listen, learn and read about discrimination, racism and black history: (feel free to add more)  Documentaries: 13th (Netflix) The Innocence Files (Netflix) Who Killed Malcolm X? (Netflix) Time: The Kalief Browder Story (Netflix) I Am Not Your Negro

YouTube videos: We Cannot Stay Silent about George Floyd Waarom ook Nederlanders de straat op gaan tegen racisme (Dutch) Wit is ook een kleur (Dutch) (documentaire)

Books: Biased by Jennifer Eberhardt Don’t Touch My Hair by Emma Dabiri Freedom Is A Constant Struggle by Angela Davis How To Be An Anti-Racist by Ibram X. Kendi I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou Me and White Supremacy by Layla Saad So You Want To Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo They Can’t Kill Us All by Wesley Lowery White Fragility by Robin Deangelo Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race by Reni Eddo-Lodge Woman, Race and Class by Angela Davis

Websites: https://lynchinginamerica.eji.org/report/ https://museumandmemorial.eji.org/ https://archive.org/details/thirtyyearsoflyn00nati/page/n11/mode/2up https://lab.nos.nl/projects/slavernij/index-english.html https://blacklivesmatter.com/ https://www.zinnedproject.org/

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[nachtare]

resun fan playlists

if you look at these carefully, you can pinpoint many things. like when i first watched Inside and when i got back into Blue Oyster Cult. i made them on youtube because i hate spotify and don’t know how to share playlists on Apple Music. 

Walker - evil-type beats. From Eden (Hozier), Girl With One Eye (FaTM), Choke (IDKHBTFM), Youth (Daughter), Bad Guy (Billie Eilish), Oh No! (Marina and the Diamonds), Gallery Piece (of Montreal), While My Guitar Gently Weeps (Beatles), House of Memories (PaTD), Call Them Brothers (Regina Spektor), I’m Gonna Win (Rob Cantor), Bad Dudes (Michael Guy Bowman), Purgatory (MGB), C’est Pas Ta Faute (M), Once In a Lifetime (Talking Heads), No Children (The Mountain Goats), Burning Pile (Mother Mother), Everybody Wants To Rule The World (Tears for Fears), Everything Stays (Adventure Time), That Funny Feeling (Bo Burnham), Shit (BB), Black Blade (Blue Oyster Cult), Shrike (Hozier), Verbatim (Mother Mother).

uh, i listen to this playlist probably more than is healthy. i will stand by my picks. Black Blade doesn’t entirely fit, but I wanted to slap some BOC on there, and, like, i think walker wanted to be a lover, not a red-eyed screaming ghoul. Also the trifecta of “hand in unloveable hand” (No Children), “holding hands while the walls come tumbling down” (Everybody Wants To Rule The World), and “the quiet comprehending of the ending of it all” (That Funny Feeling) makes me feel things. Gallery Piece and Burning Pile are probably the ones that feel The Most Walker to me.

Slaoui - less evil-type beats. Running Up That Hill (Kate Bush), Wildfire! (Vocaloid), Santa Monica Dream (Angus & Julia Stone), Toxic (Britney Spears), Elastic Heart (S*a), Body (Mother Mother), Somewhere Only We Know (Keane), Don’t Be So Serious (Low Roar), I Dont Trust U Anymore (Left At London), Everybody Knows (Leonard Cohen), Last Song (Jason Webley), Nothing Left to Say / Rocks (Imagine Dragons), The Sun Always Shines On TV (A-ha), Faking It (MGB), Torture (Les Friction), No Light No Light (FaTM), Poison (Alice Cooper), Like Real People Do (Hozier), Brave As A Noun (AJJ), Always Forever (Cults), This Year (TMG), The Scientist (Coldplay), Old College Try (TMG), White Flag (Dido), Amsterdam (Imagine Dragons), Goin’ Through The Motions (Blue Oyster Cult), Wind (Akeboshi).

a few of these might work better for Kieren, but like, whatever. same guy. i really like the exquisite sense of loss in Santa Monica Dream, and how Always Forever is like. a slightly creepy love song. works well with Slaoui’s power-fueled weird fixation on Walker. i most especially stand by Wind and The Scientist.

the end. please read resun when it comes out. thank you.