#and it's not exactly something i can just bring up to vent to friends about.

[benevolentvampire]

.

[skittlemxauthor]

re: the tags of the person I reblogged this from! they mentioned the specific example of being bothering by open mouth chewing, and the insistence that comes with the people who might be open mouth chewing. in situations where you find someone isn't necessarily being an asshole, eg eating with their mouth open, bringing it up as a calm question such as "can you explain to me why you're doing ___ behaviour" with an explanation as to why said behaviour makes you uncomfortable, it usually allows people to genuinely answer without getting immediately defensive (most people, mom's don't necessarily count in this scenario), and if it's something they refuse to change then the best thing to do is change the way you spend time around that person. if you find that you care about a friendship but can't stand to eat around them, change the way you hang out with them and do activities that don't involve eating. hope this helps a little!! ❤️❤️

(tags added below)

"No one remembered my birthday-" Well, but did YOU tell anyone it was coming up and you wanted to celebrate it with them?

"I wish someone would see through it when I tell people I'm fine-" Well, but have YOU considered not lying when people ask you how you're doing?

"I am so resentful of my friend because they keep doing this thing that really bothers me-" Well, but have YOU directly communicated that the thing is bothering you?

"I am burning out because my friend keeps expecting me to help them with serious struggles-" Well, but have YOU tried to establish the boundaries you need to feel okay?

"No one ever asks me about this thing I really care about-" Well, but have YOU brought it up yourself?

"I miss my friend but they haven't texted me-" Well, but have YOU been reaching out to them?

Sometimes people are mean, uncaring assholes, in which case you get to be mad. But sometimes you just need to communicate better. Try communication before you assume someone doesn't care!

[arieslost]

falling for you | op81

oscar piastri x fem!reader

summary: you and oscar should be more than just friends, but neither of you realize it until you’re on vacation… and his girlfriend is there, too.

word count: 2,956

warnings: angsty moments

masterlist — join my tag list here!

PART TWO

shoutout to my dream journal- i got this idea from a dream i had in 2021. also disclaimer, i love lily, she’s so sweet. we’re pretending that oscar is dating someone else here ok thanks <33

© arieslost 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

For the first time in your life, you were regretting taking a vacation, and it was all Oscar Piastri’s fault.

Your family and the Piastris had been going on vacation together for as long as you could remember, and you’ve been best friends with Oscar for just as long. He was in the background of every defining moment of your life. He could say the same about you— best friends forever.

And then, like the idiot you are, you went and fell in love with him. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint how, or why, or when; all you knew was that you woke up on the second day of your vacation, walked into the kitchen, saw him pouring himself a bowl of cereal, and it hit you like a damn truck.

“Good morning, sweetie,” your mom says, barely noticing your slightly panicked expression as you realized that you were very much in love with your best friend.

“Morning,” you mumble back, unable to tear your eyes away from Oscar.

He notices you staring at him, your eyes as wide as saucers, and frowns. “You okay? There’s still some of this in the box, I saved it for you.”

Great. Of course he has to be so thoughtful all the time.

“Yeah, ‘m fine. Thanks, Osc.” You squeeze his arm as you pass by. He smiles at you, like he always does when you do that, and you want to die a little.

Especially when his girlfriend enters the room.

It’s the first time either of you have a significant other during your annual vacation time, and while you had aggressively lobbied against it (Oscar obviously had no clue), your parents and his parents had agreed to let her come. You were furious about it for weeks and couldn’t figure out why.

Well, now you know.

You can’t even enjoy your cereal, especially not when she kisses Oscar for everyone to see and then makes direct eye contact with you and smirks when he’s not looking. So, you decide to spend the entire day completely Oscar-less, as much as you wish you could just have him all to yourself like you always do when you’re here.

The thing is, you’ve never liked his girlfriend, obvious reasons aside. Even before Oscar started dating her, you’d never gotten along with her. It was like she had a personal vendetta against you, and always tried her hardest to be touchy with Oscar whenever she saw that you were in her line of sight. The most infuriating part is that literally no one else ever notices her behavior except you. Not even Oscar, your so-called best friend. Normally, you’d go to him to vent about something like this, because he’s always understood you in ways that no one else ever will. Now he’s the last person you can go to.

It sucks. You’re angry at your parents, his parents, and especially him for asking if he could bring her along in the first place.

You end up spending your entire morning and most of the afternoon at the beach. You don’t put on enough sunscreen because there’s no one there to make sure you use the proper amount. You hate getting sunburn, but you’d take that over seeing Oscar with his girlfriend. By the time you get back to the rental, everyone is off doing their own thing. Your parents are putting together a puzzle in the living room. Oscar’s parents have the door to their room shut, and you can hear the TV playing. You don’t have the courage to go looking for Oscar himself– once you see that he’s not in your shared room, you know that he’s either out or in his girlfriend’s room. Either way, you don’t want to know.

That was another thing that makes you wish this vacation never happened: Oscar had been allowed to bring his girlfriend, but the only condition was that the two of them had to sleep in separate rooms. That meant the two of you shared a room like always, but that didn’t mean he didn’t take every possible chance he could to go to hers, meaning you’re alone most of the time.

You might as well just pack up and walk home to save yourself the struggle of five more days.

It doesn’t seem like anyone is around to hear, so you let out a loud, frustrated groan as you flop back onto your bed. You look to your right, past Oscar’s bed, at the flowy curtains hanging in front of the doors that lead to the deck outside. One of the doors is ajar, and the slight breeze makes the curtains flap gently.

“You okay, sweetie?” Of course your mom heard you from all the way down the hall.

“Yeah,” you reply in a way that makes it very obvious that you’re not okay.

“Ah, I know that tone.” Your mom says, crossing the room to sit at the foot of your bed. “You need a boyfriend. You wouldn’t be this mopey if you had someone here with you, too.”

Like Oscar does. “You’re telling me,” you scoff bitterly. “I guess I’ll try a little harder for next year.”

“Well, are there any boys you’re interested in?” She asks, rubbing your leg comfortingly.

“I don’t know,” you mumble, turning your head away from her so she can’t get a perfect view of your face heating up as you think about your best friend.

She hums. “Yeah, I knew it.”

“Knew what?”

“It’s Oscar, isn’t it?”

You cover your face with your hands. “Ugh! Leave now, and we can pretend this conversation never happened.”

“Nice try.” Your mom pries your hands away and gives you a look. “I just don’t think it’s the best idea that you like Oscar. He doesn’t exactly have the most stable lifestyle.”

“He doesn’t need stability, he’s rich.” You shoot back. “I don’t even care about that, Mom. I’m not exactly interested in him because of his lifestyle.” You consider not saying it, but you’ll feel better getting it off your chest. “And his girlfriend is a bitch.”

“You’re right,” your mom says, and you can’t believe what you’re hearing. “I hate his girlfriend. I’ve always thought that you’re much better suited for him.”

“No kidding. Known him his whole life, everyone thought we were dating growing up, we’ve gone through just about everything together. I guess that simply doesn’t compare to the girl he’s known for five whole months.” You’re being snarky now, and you can’t find it in you to care. It should be you dating Oscar.

Everyone else seems to think so except him.

Your mom laughs, but in a way that you know that she agrees with you, as childish as you’re being. She continues to rub your leg, and the comforting motion has your eyes drooping. The stress of your newfound feelings and the warmth of the sun on your skin is more than enough to tire you out.

“Nap time?” She asks eventually, and you nod slowly.

“Mhmm.”

“I’ll come wake you up before dinner.” She kisses the top of your head, gets up, and then says something that has you wide awake. “Hey, Oscar. She’s sleeping.”

“Ah, okay. I’ll be quiet.” You hate the calming effect his voice has on you, even though now just looking at him has sent your heart racing.

One of them shuts the door, and shortly after you can feel the bed dipping under Oscar’s weight as he lays down next to you.

“Hey,” he whispers. “Missed you.”

I missed you more. Jerk.

“I know you’re awake,” he continues. “But you don’t have to talk to me.”

Good.

“I guess I deserve the silent treatment.”

Your resolve cracks a little, because he sounds genuinely upset. As much as you want to, you don’t open your eyes, but you do turn around to face him and move closer in the process. You can smell the faint traces of his cologne, and you have to fight a sigh of contentment. Damn him for always making you feel so safe. Besides, you’re a little cold now thanks to the air conditioning.

Your eyes nearly fly open in shock when he wastes no time in pulling you closer so you’re properly cuddled into his side and puts his arm around you. He lets out a breath, like he’s relieved, before he moves around a little and leans his head against yours.

The logical side of you is screaming to quit the sleeping facade and confront him right here and now about this rather intimate behavior, but the side of you that just discovered the strong feelings you harbor for your best friend tells you to just play along and enjoy whatever alone time you have with him. It’s not hard to pick which side to listen to.

The two of you stay this way for so long you start falling asleep again, and it only gets worse when he starts rubbing your back. It starts out very subtle; at first, his fingertips just move up and down along the fabric of your shirt. He stops for a moment, like he’s considering the outcomes of his actions, and then flattens his palm against your back and continues the up and down motion. You bury your head in his chest, mostly to hide the fact that you’re turning red but also because you just want to be closer to him. He hums a little when you do it, and you have to stop yourself from weighing the logistics of whether or not you could get away with kissing him right here and now.

You have to fight the urge to sleep, wanting to soak in every moment of his strange but welcome actions. Maybe this is all just an elaborate dream– either way, you’re not going to sleep through it.

The sound of him sighing again catches your attention, but you’re entirely brought back to reality when he starts moving.

You fully give up. You don’t want him to go, so you say his name quietly and look up at him.

He sits up a little to look back at you, and you reach up to smooth away the crease between his eyebrows with your thumb. “We’re on vacation. You’re supposed to be having fun.”

“So are you.” He points out.

Of course he’s picked up on it.

“It’s complicated.”

“Talk to me,” he encourages, shifting so he can keep you close. His little polite cat smile nearly has you spilling your guts to him about how much you wish you were the one he was kissing in front of everyone.

You press your lips together. “I… I can’t, Osc.”

You always hate his crestfallen expression, but you hate it more when you’re the cause of it.

“You can talk to me about anything, you know that right?”

“I know,” you reassure him. “Just… not this. Anything but this.”

He hums again, but not in the happy way that he did before when you were practically trying to crawl into his skin. This is more like a hum of concentration.

You have a moment of hope, thinking that maybe he’ll just let it go, but you know your best friend better than that. It doesn’t change your shock when he speaks again.

“Okay. I think I know what this is about.”

“I seriously doubt you do.” You can’t help but laugh a little. How could he possibly know about something that you yourself only just discovered?

He gives you a specific look then, a look that you have always despised being on the receiving end of. It’s a look that tells you he’s expecting you to explain yourself and see if he’s right. He usually is right, which only makes it worse.

“No.” You shake your head, starting to try and find a way to get up. “No, Oscar, don’t make me say it.”

He isn’t having it though: his arm stays snug around you, and he puts one of his legs between both of yours, hooking his ankle around yours so you can’t escape.

“Oscar,” you whine. “No fair, with your stupid reflexes.”

He whines your name back in the same exact tone. “Shouldn’t try to get away from me, then.”

You let out a groan of frustration. “I’m not telling you anything.”

Someone walks out into the hallway, and the sound of the footsteps coming towards your room makes the both of you freeze. The two of you are in a rather precarious position, with your limbs tangled and Oscar practically on top of you. Not that you necessarily mind, but if anyone walked in right now, eyebrows would be raised.

Oscar seems to be thinking along the same lines as you, meeting your wide-eyed stare with his own but not making any effort to move away. It clicks in your head at that exact moment, just as it did in the morning when you walked into the kitchen.

He does know.

“How?” You whisper, too wrapped up in your disbelief to even be embarrassed.

“I know you better than anyone,” he whispers back, head whipping towards the closed door when you hear a creak, like someone’s weight is shifting on the floor.

The footsteps recede. You both let out a breath, turning to face each other again. You’re close. Too close. Close enough that you could count his eyelashes if you wanted to.

You remember the last time you were this close to him— you were both 14, playing hide and seek at midnight at a friend’s birthday party. He’d accidentally chosen the same hiding place as you, a desk with a rolling chair in front of it, and you’d been forced to squish together underneath the desk in order to conceal yourselves well enough. You were mad that he chose the same spot as you because it raised the likelihood of being found, and he’d just giggled at you every time you glared at him. You remember how much you loved his giggle, and how you’d wondered what it would be like to kiss his smile.

Well. You really have been in love with him this whole time.

You want nothing more than to crawl under the bed and stay there for the rest of the vacation so you don’t have to look him in the eye. You never want to speak to him again. You want to tell him everything. You want to push him away. You want to hold him closer.

“Tell me I didn’t ruin our friendship.” Is all you can think to say, and Oscar reacts immediately, brushing your hair out of your face and hugging you tightly.

“Honey, you could never ruin this.” He presses his nose into your hair, brushes his lips against your head. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re not the one who should be sorry,” you grumble into his chest.

He doesn’t answer, instead choosing to alternate between playing with the ends of your hair and drawing shapes on your shoulder with his fingers. He’s always been affectionate with you, but this is a whole new level, and your overthinking has you worried that you’ll lose it entirely as soon as the two of you have to leave this room and face the reality of the situation. You close your eyes, trying your hardest to soak up every little detail of this moment in the event that you never get another like it.

You know Oscar thinks you’re asleep when, much to your dismay (and maybe his, too), he gets up and gently lays you back against your pillow.

“I really shouldn’t be doing this,” you hear him say, and then you feel his lips press firmly against your temple, his hand leaving the most featherlight touch on your cheek. “I’m sorry, baby.”

The soft material of a blanket covers your body, and the door opens and shuts. Your tears waste no time in soaking into the pillowcase.

You’re regretting this vacation, but it isn’t Oscar’s fault.

He’s not the one who fell in love with the one person he can’t have.

Things change, but not at all in the way you expect. Oscar still throws an arm around you for every picture and hoists you onto his back without hesitation for the obligatory piggyback photo that has been a vacation tradition since forever. His girlfriend still looks at you like you’re the pebble she can’t get out of her shoe, but for every dirty look and intentional display of affection, Oscar is there to make up for it. He goes to the beach with you and makes sure that you apply enough sunscreen, he goes to the amusement park with you even though he hates most of the rides, he takes you to breakfast at the risk of his girlfriend throwing a fit when you get back. She does, but he doesn’t care. He does it every year, and he tells you that he’d be damned if he didn’t keep up with it.

Maybe he pities you. It doesn’t matter. You can live with never even having a chance with the boy you think you’ve always wanted something more with, so long as you can continue to call him your best friend.

He leaves for his next race on the last day of vacation, and his girlfriend goes with him. You support him from home. He calls you every single day.

Oscar has never been able to go more than 24 hours without hearing your voice. He’s never been able to fully express just how much he needs you, and now he has to face the obstacle of breaking up with his girlfriend before he can even try.

note: this fic was low key my personal everest and i changed the ending at the last second because i hate angst. if anyone is interested in a part two, let me know because i’d be happy to write it at some point!

requests are OPEN, and my inbox is always open for comments, criticism, and conversation! feel free to pop in!

reblogs are always appreciated <33

beautiful dividers by @/saradika !

tags: @venusacrossthestars @67-angelofthelordme-67 @emails-i-can-send @nelly187 @littlemiss-arabella @notturlover @verstappensrealwife @oliveisunstable @hauntedphotographybookstaco @maddie-bell @hood-jabi @jupiter-je-taime @uzisplanet @akiraquote @average-f1-enjoyer @xo-mya1 @beth-712 @bingewatche @alex15marie @ana2delusional @tomhollandfics @cixrosie @simpluvrs @meko-mt

[simpforrooster]

heard it all.

Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x f!Reader

summary: reader vents to mav and penny about her feelings for a certain mustached fighter pilot. a/n: my take on a request from @kpopgirlbtssvt. i latched on to one part of the request and took off. i hope you still like it!

"What's going on in that head of yours?" the low voice of Maverick pulls you from your thoughts.

"Hmm, I don't know what you're talking about," you reply, continuing on without another thought.

"You've been wiping down that same spot of the bar for ten minutes."

Maverick and Penny, your boss, exchange a knowing glance. You look at the rag in the hand as if seeing it for the first time.

"I think it's plenty clean, y/n," Penny comments, winking at Mav.

Placing a hand on your hip, you stare the two of them down. "What are you two silently saying to one another?"

Penny shrugs a shoulder. "Oh nothing." You can see it in her eyes though. She knows exactly what has your brain all a-mush.

More like who.

Bradley Bradshaw.

The Hawaiian shirt wearing aviator.

The hot Hawaiian shirt wearing aviator.

He captured your heart the first day you met him. Sure, his looks were what drew you to him initially. But he was so nice. Like green flags all around.

You shake your head at the two people who have become a pseudo family to you. Tossing the rag onto the counter, a sigh escapes your mouth.

"Y'all just give it up. We're just friends." Your voice breaks on the word friends, and your eyes squeeze shut to hide your embarrassment.

"Come on," Penny starts.

Holding up a hand, you stop her. "Penny, please. It already hurts enough. He's the nicest, sweetest guy I've ever met."

Your chest heaves as you breath through your emotions.

"I have never met another man like him. He makes me feel seen. He makes me feel beautiful."

Maverick makes a move like he is going to say something, but Penny lays a hand on his arm, stopping him.

"And as if the silly little age difference isn't enough, he only sees me like a sister." A tear falls along your cheek, surprising you. Of course, you've grieved the non-relationship before. It isn't out of the norm to sob into your wine glass with Phoenix.

It's the first time you've ever cried in front of Penny and Mav.

The sound of a clearing throat has your spinning around.

Rooster looks at you, his brows knit together. You can't read the look on his face, but it can't be good. It tells you everything you need to know.

He heard it all.

And he doesn't feel the same.

Reaching up to sloppily wipe your tears, you tried to step around him, mumbling something so incoherent you can't decipher the words.

Rooster's strong arms reach out and stop you in your tracks.

"I can promise you I do not see you as a sister," he says, his voice low.

Not that you try, but words refuse to come out your mouth. How could they? The way he's staring at you has your heart beating in overdrive.

"Did you really mean all that?" he asks. His eyes roam over your face, searching for something. It takes you a second to realize he looks a little scared.

Scared of being rejected.

Bradley doesn't like you back. There's no way. He's had plenty of opportunities to make a move and hasn't.

He takes one step closer to you, the soles of your shoes meeting.

"Of course, Bradley." The sentence comes out barely a whisper, but he heard it. His hand snakes around your neck and settles into your hair. "Why wouldn't I be madly in love with you?"

A delicious groan escapes from his mouth before he closes the space between you. His lips meet yours and suddenly the Earth moves beneath your feet as the planets snap into alignment.

Bradley's lips are finally on yours, and it feels every bit as right as you imagined.

He pulls back so his mouth is feather light against yours. "Sweetheart, I am wildly in love with you." The words fall on your ears in soft whispers. Your eyes fall closed to relish in the way all this feels.

Bradley brings his mouth back to yours, pulling you tight against him. Your height difference has never been more apparant that right this second.

"Okay, okay, get a room," Maverick calls, followed by a, "Oof," as Penny's arm comes into contact with his solid stomach.

masterlist.

a/n: i hope y'all enjoy this one! i've been struggling with a little bit of writer's block.

[extasiswings]

Okay, SO! In the category of "I think it's possible that Eddie has a brain tumor/is sick in some way":

Eddie is acting weird. Eddie has been acting weird from the beginning of the season, and I know there has been discourse about "it's just that we haven't seen him so happy before" but I respectfully submit that multiple things can be true at the same time. Eddie can be happy AND it can be out of character for him to impulsively drop everything to take a helicopter ride with his new friend he met two seconds ago to see a fight in Vegas (the last time we saw Eddie be truly impulsive I'd argue was S3, buying a truck while in the midst of a serious crisis). Eddie can be happy AND it can be out of character for him to ask his girlfriend of five minutes to move in (and I recognize that we were given an explanation from Eddie in the episode, but Eddie is an unreliable narrator and his explanation also doesn't totally square with what we've seen previously - him rushing introducing her to Christopher tracks, him jumping into moving her into his house without knowing basic information about her life does not).

Then there are the Eddie-coded calls. The guy with the alien hand who is all about rigid self control and being the master of yourself - his body turning against him not because the control failed but because of a blood clot in his brain. And now the guy with encephalitis (the same condition that ultimately caused Chim to hallucinate dead people), who has amnesia and has forgotten the marriage that ended in divorce but recalls the happy time before that when his wife was just his fiancee, the guy who was experiencing chest pains that he thought was a heart attack only for Chim to say he was having a panic attack. They had Eddie be so open about his own experiences with panic attacks and coping mechanisms in 7x01 for a reason - he's genuinely doing better with his own mental health and isn't ashamed or afraid of talking about his mental health struggles. But looking at these two calls, the underlying reason for the call (alien hand, amnesiac/presumed stalker in vent) theoretically could have had mental health explanations, but instead both resulted from physical ailments in the brain. [Tangent: I also think there's something really interesting in the potential callback to S5 and the way Eddie and Maddie were sort of mirrors - Eddie with a seemingly physical problem that was caused by a mental health issue, Maddie with a seemingly mental health issue that turned out to at least in part be the result of a physical problem]

Then there is whatever they're doing with ghosts. Shannon's ghost has lingered over the narrative and was actively put on screen in 7x01. For Chim in 7x06, the ghosts were hallucinations because there was something wrong with his brain. For Bobby, I'm guessing his arc with the burn unit nurse from his past will be more of a metaphorical haunting, bringing up any number of old ghosts (but I'm also going to guess his wife will be one). For Eddie...unclear. Ryan was filming with Devin (ostensibly for 7x09 but if they're doing anything with Shanon's ghost I'd be shocked if it wasn't introduced in 7x07, "Ghost of a Second Chance"), but she didn't exactly look like Shannon. Is she supposed to be Shannon? A dream or hallucination of a different or older her? Is she a real woman who just happens to look like her? If Eddie is hallucinating, then something is clearly very wrong. If it's a random woman and he's, idk, pursuing her in some way because he's drawn to her/the fact that she looks like his dead wife, that's still another point in the "Eddie is acting weird" column (because Eddie is a bad boyfriend and wasn't the greatest husband, but what he has never been is a cheater, even when he and Shannon were separated).

And then of course there's the will of it all. The will that Buck and Eddie haven't talked about since the shooting. Now, it's no secret I love the potential of a trapped dads experience circling back to the will, but I also think there is an argument to be made for a callback to "You're the guy who likes to fix things, maybe this isn't something you can fix." Because usually, when Eddie is in danger, Buck can do something about it, take some actionable step even if a futile one - he can dig through mud, he can drag Eddie's body out of the line of fire and into an ambulance and keep him alive. And for someone who, I would guess, still thinks of himself and the will as a backup plan/contingency, who if put in a trapped dads situation may not be able to stop himself from trying to save Eddie or, if necessary, sacrificing himself to do so, because in his mind, Eddie is Christopher's dad/who Christopher needs most, it is deeply compelling to imagine what happens if Eddie is in danger from something Buck can't fix, can't fight, can't save him from. And Eddie being sick in some capacity does that.

Anyway...I just think it would be Neat.

[lorre-verie]

heyyyy there, how are you? was just thinkinggg 😝🧟 ---

may I please request an enemies to lovers ao'nung x fem!metkayina!reader fic where reader ventures out beyond the reef with bestie tsireya in their rarely found free time in order to decompress from their stressful routines --- evident in readers duties of teaching the young many things like weaving and breathing, helping ronal collect medicinal resources, and tsireya being tsakarem. reader vents about ao'nung being a pain and how hard she's pining for him regardless and tsireya, being all knowing, tries to hint to reader about ao'nungs feelings. some more banter before reya rushes off to meet with lo'ak for their date. not long after tsireya leaves, readers gets attacked and badly injured in the leg by something (I can't think of anything 💀) and rushes back to awa'atlu riding an ilu, bleeding out, where ao'nung (previously training) takes notice of her limping out of the water barely conscious. ao'nung rushes to her, reader collapsing in his arms, ao'nung delivering a cutsie little panicked "don't worry, im not gonna let anything to happen to you, 'm gonna take care of you" just before readers loses consciousness 😝😝😝😝 perhaps some cutie fluffy tearful confessions after she wakes in ronals healing marui

“Living, breathing, nightmare.”

word count: 4.4k

pairings: aonung x fem!metkayina!reader 

author notes:  - the prompt IS enemies to lovers so i decided to make it a HEAAVY emphasis on the enemies part of that (😏), so this is gonna be a wild ass ride. love you for this request, thanks for bringing me back onto this platform, anon! - 2nd person (love it too much) - NO you are not short you’re a little taller than tsireya but aonung is just a tall mf

masterlist

“So, they hate each other?” Ewie asked curiously, her curiosity piqued as her gaze remained fixed on the two na’vi bickering aways from her and the tsakarem-to-be of her clan.

“...Not exactly,” Tsireya answered, grimacing.

She sighed, patting the little one’s back, who stood there confused and still staring, eyes wide as seashells. Tsireya knelt down on one knee atop the damp, warm sand, offering the little girl a reassuring smile as she reached out to place her hand to Ewie’s shoulder, encouraging her to meet Tsireya’s gaze. “Why don’t you go on and play with your friends now, Ewie? You can resume your lessons with [name] tomorrow,” she said softly, promptly turning her head to smile at Ewie’s friends who ran wildly across the coast, screaming and jumping joyously.

The little girl’s eyes brightened as she looked at her group of friends, one of the boys in particular waving her over to join. She let out a small excited squeal, her mind now totally torn away from the sight of you and aonung, running to join them. Tsireya smiled as she watched Ewie scamper away, leaving only the older girl and the ocean in her wake. For Tsireya, now was one of the calm moments that no one could take away from her. 

She inhaled, the ocean breeze carrying a freshness that was tinged with the ancient salt of countless tides. Its age-old whispers danced through the air, brushing against her skin with a coolness that– if she concentrated enough, she could almost hear….yes…Eyw-

“You are an ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE!” Your voice pierced through her thoughts, her ears flattening as she winced.

She whipped her head around to look at you and aonung in what seemed to be a private, yet full-blown war between the two of you, Aonung laughing in your face as you gave him a piece of your mind.

She let out a breath to calm herself. Happy thoughts…happy thoughts…she repeated in her mind as to not kick both you and her older brother in the back of the knees. 

“Yet I still show up in your dreams every night, eh?” he smirked even wider at you (if that was even possible).

To that, you didn’t know whether you wanted to scream, cry, cringe, throw up, or shove a kick so far up his ass he would never be able to talk out of it again. 

So you just stared at him silently, your silent screams bouncing off the insides of your body.

He towered over you, seemingly amused by your lack of response. 

You hated that. Why did Eywa give the males the unfair advantage in vertical length? (the answer is cause they need it boo or else they’d cry themselves to sleep every night) If you wanted to meet his eyes you would have to give yourself a strained neck, compared to all the other boys your age.

“You…wish.” you said, internally groaning at the less-than-satisfactory response you gave him. 

Should’ve been something kickass like “yeah, the haunting presence of your mediocrity,” but of course you’d only think about something like that far later, when it was way too late.

Tsireya walked towards the two of you, making sure to sigh mentally instead of in real life, bracing herself for whatever outlandish thing you two were bickering about now.

“Ah, sister, how kind of you to join us!” aonung raised his eyebrows slightly, “Would you kindly tell your friend here that she would absolutely not hold up in a battle between her and an Akula?” 

Before Tsireya could even open her mouth, you scoffed. 

“That is not what I said!” you seethed, crossing your arms. He had this tactic of taking whatever you were saying and twisting it so that he’d seem in the right at all times.

“I only said that I’ve been training for it, and I think that I could handle it! And also, that wasn’t even your conversation to listen in on!” and you didn’t want to admit that you were just trying to make yourself seem the teeniest bit more impressive to one of the younger kids you were teaching. In moderation of course!

*record scratch* (for all my lovely readers who’ve no idea/don’t remember what an akula is, that's the scary 3 jawed monster that practically almost killed our boy lo’ak. but that hasn't happened yet in this story)

Tsireya contained her urge to pinch the bridge of her nose, instead resorting to pinching aonung’s wrist, earning a ‘hey!’ from the metkayina while you smirked, satisfied with her response which was clearly a ‘i-don't-want-to-get-into-detail-about-the-topic-of-conversation-but-my-brother-is-incredibly-annoying-and-i-know-that-so-i’ll-just-do-this’ stance, but hey, at least it humbled the gargantuan himbo in front of you, even if by the smallest bit.

“[Name], how about we just get going?” she said, her hand rested on your shoulder, looking at you with an awkward smile.

“Great idea,” you smiled at her, willing to do anything to get away from the disproportionate frog. 

Before you could even take a step away, he obviously had to get in his bit.

“Hey wait, where are you two going?” he looked at you both, confusedly.

This was strange for 1 reason.

Why the hell does he care??? He never cared before, so why does he care now???

You turned your head and gave him an annoyed look, while Reya, ever the peacekeeper, answered his question for you. 

“We’re going beyond the reef. We want to see if we can catch a glimpse of the nrr payoang migrating for the season.” she said.

And even though she was the one who answered, he kept his eyes fixated on you for a solid extra few seconds, before finally switching to her. What in the motherfu-

“It’s optimal timing. Plus, this is one of the rare occasions where me and [name] are both free at the same time.” she said, smiling brightly. “It must be Eywa clearing the path for us.”

Right then, he smirked. 

Oh no. 

He was going to say something else to keep your blood above a healthy pressure, wasn’t he?

He looked at you again, and you felt your muscles tense. His mouth opened– no– here it comes– mayday, mayday!

BRACE FOR IMPACT!!!

“I also happen to be free. Can I come along?” 

You felt yourself die.

“NO!” you said a little bit too suddenly. “Go find some other people to bother!” you turned on your heel and stomped away from the situation before he could burden your mind further, grumbling at the sheer audacity.

“He literally insulted my capability of surviving like any normal metkayina could, and then he wants to “cOmE AlOnG?” Forget it!” you pressed a wrist into your left eye, trying to rid it of the image of the colossal amphibian as you rode on the ilu with Tsireya by your side, who was dipping gracefully above and below the water on her own ilu.

She emerged from the cerulean blue waves, her hair carrying beads of water in them, before she turned to look at you, back straightening.

“I think he just wanted to spend more time with you, you know.” she suggested, trying her damndest to hint to you what everyone else except literally the two of you could see. 

“Ha! As if! The last time I tried to ask him something, he said “don’t talk to me, my people might think that we’re friends.” Like what? Who says that? WHY would he say that?” you started, your ramble being nothing new to your best friend, who only sighed as she dipped a hand into the water as her ilu moved her through it.

Together, you headed to the point where the glowing fish were most spotted, waiting above the water for any signs of movement as you continued on.

“And I do not like him at all, despite what that skxawng Neteyam might say. He’s annoying, loud, obnoxious, and the way he carries himself differently when I’m in the vicinity is dumb. Almost like he’s trying to make himself seem better than me! Who does he think he is, puffing his chest out like a-” hold on.

You went silent, backtracking. 

Everytime Aonung noticed you were near, he stood up straighter than usual.

Your mind thought back to all those little moments in flashes. During training, at your cousin's coming-of-age ceremony, the harvest celebration, and today.

He constantly looks at you even if there are others around, but if you look back at him (more like glare), he looks away immediately. 

He always initiates the conversation first, even if there’s nothing to talk about.

Okay hold on [name], none of this necessarily means that he likes you.

And then, your whole world came to a stop. You swear even the wind became silent, leaving only you and the sounds of the cool ocean water rippling against your body, the evening painting a blur of pinks and oranges in the sky.

As if she knew every bit of the revelation you just had, Tsireya, who was a little ways in front of you, turned her head, looking at the blank expression on your face.

Am I the one that likes him? you thought to yourself.

No. It couldn’t be. There was no way, no possible way, that this was happening.

“Reya?” you blurted out, your body (and your stupid mouth) acting on instinct.

I mean, she was your best friend. Obviously best friends have to tell each other about their crushes, right?

“I think I like-” you stopped yourself short as you looked at her face. 

Her face, which was trying to hold back a smirk.

“Yes, [name]? Do continue?” she said, her tone a lot more singsong than you’d like it to be.

Perhaps telling your best friend that you had a crush on her literal BROTHER wasn’t the best course of action.

Fuuuuuuuuu–

“You know, if you like him, it’s totally alright with me.” she said, shrugging as she turned her head back to the front, smiling as she knew exactly what you’d say next.

“WHAT??” you screamed, startling your ilu, to which you whispered rushed apologies, soothing the back of its neck. 

“I’m just happy you’ve finally realised it.” she said, still not turning back, acting as if this was the most normal conversation to have.

“Wha? Who???” you asked, suddenly getting the idea she was having the wrong idea.

“Neteyam.” she said, her tone sarcastic, but unfortunately you were too startled to catch on.

“Hah! You’re wrong, I do not like him.” you said, silently revelling in the relief that she didn’t catch on.

Oh [name]. Sweet, oblivious, [name].

“Yeah I know, that’s why you have a crush on my brother.” 

To that, you completely stopped in your tracks, jaw slack open. She’s done it. She’s broken you.

She finally turned around, guiding her ilu to the left so as to block your track. 

“He likes you too. And I think you know that already.” she smiled, narrowing her eyes mischievously.

‘For the love of all things good and beautiful, why was this happening to me?’ you screamed on the inside, not wanting to relent.

Okay, if you were denying it, then maybe you actually didn’t like him! Right??

Yeah. That was it. You were giving yourself the delusion of liking him, because he’s the one that liked you first and you felt bad for him, and that’s why you were only considering liking him back.

Wait, does he even like me? What??

“Okay, no, that’s not what I-” and just as you were starting to deny everything, because that was 100% the truth, Tsireya waved you off as she submerged her head in the water, already off her ilu. 

You quickly realised what you were here for in the first place, hopping off and following suit, taking a deep breath before you dipped your head below the cool waves.

Deep below the two of you on the surface, you could see hundreds of bioluminescent jellyfish wading in one path, weaving through the floating rocks and plants, the vividness of the glowing colours acting as if a kaleidoscope in your vision.

You had to pull your head out from the water to take another breath, using your hand to push away some of your hair that decided to stick itself onto your face. You were absolutely stunned at the beautiful sight. It took your breath away, literally.

Dipping your head below the surface of the water once more, you decided with Tsireya to take a closer look. You dove your body forwards into the water, Reya following closely behind. 

It was quickly becoming darker, night was falling and you knew it was time to turn back, but the jellyfish illuminated your surroundings almost mesmerizingly, as if pulling you into a beautiful vortex. 

You hid your body behind a set of rocks, watching the jellyfish swim in their little path, smiling as you watched a small one lag behind the others before a bigger one pushed it forward, practically propelling it through the water as it sputtered around before finding its place again.

Tsireya, who was a little bit above you in the water, turned and dipped her body downwards to touch your shoulder, to signal that it was time to return to the surface and go home before it got too dark.

Her hand was a mere millimetre away from you when a sudden jolt of agony rips through your leg. It's as if a thousand needles pierce your flesh all at once, and panic surges, rising through your veins like wildfire.

Instinctively, you kick and thrash, but the unseen assailant's grip tightens like a vise, dragging you mercilessly downward. Darkness engulfs your senses and you're plunged into a void, robbed of sight and hearing, your lungs screaming for air..

You can’t even see Tsireya anymore, nor the prismatic glow of the jellies.

Bubbles erupt from your lips in frantic bursts, mingling with the surrounding darkness, further obscuring your already impaired vision. Each gasp for air feels like a futile struggle against the inevitable, your chest burning with the agonising need for oxygen. What is this? What is this that’s grabbing you? What is happening? The questions flood your mind and sear the corners of your vision as you're dragged deeper, darkness enveloping you fully. 

With each passing second, your panic intensifies. You can't tell which way is up anymore. The ocean presses in around you, a suffocating weight. It’s still pulling you down.

Down…

..down…

and down…

In a last, thoughtless attempt, you reach out, fingers stretching toward the abyssal void, but there's nothing to grasp onto, nothing to anchor you in this sea of darkness. Panic tightens its grip around your throat, threatening to choke the life from your trembling body.

Desperation claws at your soul, pounding on your chest, as you realise the seconds are slipping away. Any moment now, and you’ll be dead. Any moment now, and everything you yourself have worked for, would be gone. You let yourself close your eyes. Maybe because of the weight of the void pushing onto your body, or maybe you’re tired from fighting this thing around your leg for Eywa knows how long. When you outstretched your hand you hoped that someone, anyone would pull you out of this..nothingness. You wanted it so badly you almost thought that he would. That he’d save you.

Your body jolts awake, only to find yourself in an unfamiliar place. 

The cool, steady flow of the breeze unnerves you. It’s the first thing you notice besides the wild racing of your heart in your chest, your head whipping around in this empty space, trying to ascertain where you are. Is this Eywa? The place feels like a void, but it’s far different from the blackened one that suffocated your being. It feels calm. Peaceful. You can see the dark purple sky above you, glittering with stars and moons that you’ve never even seen about it. But it looks… strange. 

Otherworldly. Like it is impossibly distant, yet so close to you at the same time. You kneel in an extraordinarily shallow pool of cool water, the surface reflecting the celestial display above you. Though it is rather shallow, like a puddle almost, it stretches endlessly into the horizon as far as your eyes can see it. As you look around, time seems to stand perfectly still. 

It’s unnerving. Realising that you can, in fact, move your desensitised limbs, you slowly get up, your feet creating small ripples in the water. “Hello?” you call out. 

Nothing except your own echo responds to you. Just then, you hear something in the distance. Like someone’s there, in the hazed distance. They’re close to you, then they’re unimaginably far away. What is that? “[Name]!” It’s calling out your name. How do you respond? A. Call out for help

B. Cry C. Curl up into a ball and give up D. Walk towards the source Just kidding, you don’t have a choice. As if your legs had minds of their own, you start walking towards the source. You can’t quite make out that voice. It changes every time you hear it, showing up in intervals of about 5-8 seconds of space in between. “[Name]?” Gosh, and the change in tone too. It’s filled with fear, then anger, then happiness, then…huh? “[Name]... I’m so sorry.” Sadness. The voice is filled with a type of sadness that almost stabs your chest. Regret. Guilt. So many emotions in this strangely familiar, choked-out voice. The voice continues sobbing, sniffling, but then it stops. Leaving you whipping around in the darkness, unsure of where to go. You turn around, then you slam face first into something really tough. “What the fuc-” your voice rings out, angered, in the void. Rubbing your nose, you look up. “What the fuck?” you whisper. It’s Aonung. 

How delightful. But seriously, how de-fucking-lightful? Finally, another person in this endless, pitch black space of darkness. You almost want to scream. Of horror or joy, you’re not exactly sure, but you contain yourself, mostly due to the fact that he’s looking at you.

And he’s crying. Tears stream down his cheeks as he looks at you— actually, not quite you. His eyes aren’t exactly focused on yours, but they’re focused on…you. If that makes any sense at all. “Please wake up…” he croaks out. 

And that voice! It was him. That depressing, bleak voice from before that was calling out your name. It was him. But why? And how? 

You’re about to do something but then your heart jolts in your chest because he’s lifting up his right hand and cupping your cheek softly. Gently. Like the real Aonung would never do. This is some sick hallucination isn’t it? Oh gosh you actually went to hell, didn’t you? Before you realise it, he uses his thumb to wipe away a tear that somehow appeared on your face. You’re not crying. So what is this? What’s going o– NO. He’s leaning in. WHY IS HE LEANING IN? Fuck all “[NAME], DO SOMETHING!! YOU STUPID-” you scream at yourself, fighting your inanimate body. WHY COULDN’T YOU FUCKING MO- *SLLAAAAAPPPPPP!!!*Now you’re scrambling to your feet on what you realise to be the sickbed of Ronal’s healing tent, your hand stinging after delivering the most horrible sounding slap you have ever slapped…

…to the side of Aonung’s, now incredibly shocked, and incredibly offended, face.

Ronal sighed, but the remnant of a smirk lingered still on her cheeks, avoiding both you and Aonung’s gaze. “There you go, [name]. Next time, you should be much more careful,” she said softly, her hands leaving the cooling bandage now wrapped around your still aching leg and extending to your ankle, a sore reminder of whatever the hell it was that you experienced the night before.

You sat on a woven hammock, propped up by the trees that supported the healing tent. Ronal stood in front of you, “I am grateful that Aonung was there to help,” she said, turning towards the discombobulated walking-disease she called her son, who had a big bandage over his cheek, glaring down at you. She grabbed Aonung’s ear, pulling his body over very clearly painfully, making him yelp in pain with incoherent pleas of ‘ma’ and ‘please’  coming from his lips.

“What in Eywa’s name were you thinking? Trying to kiss a girl while she’s injured and unable to say anything about it! You are lucky that she slapped you first, or else you would not live to see another day if I had anything to do with it! My son, you are many things, but you are not an idi–” she scolded, promptly dragging him out of the marui still by his ear to deliver his well-deserved punishment outside, an amused smile making its way onto your face. Sigh, justice.

But okay, the incredulity of the day, of course, has not worn down on you. 

Tsireya came rushing into the tent with a bowl of…whatever, her face the guiltiest it’s ever been. It kinda made your heart hurt. “[Name], I am so, so, so sorry!” she said, kneeling down by your hammock and taking your hand in between hers. “As soon as I heard you were awake I rushed over,” she quickly mumbled, grabbing a rag and dipping it into the bowl and pressing it over your forehead gently, “I am so sorry for yesterday, I never should have suggested going there, let alone–”

Oh, here we go… It’s the Tsireya cycle, you call it. Whenever something goes wrong, she infinitely feels bad as if it’s her fault that something nearly killed you. 

She kept on rambling, trying to explain herself, but all you did was squeeze her hand tighter. She stopped, looking at the small smile on your face. “Hey, no harm done Reya. I’m fine, you see?” you reassure her, the small beads of water gathering under her eyes slowly going away as she blinked rapidly, containing herself as best as she could. She couldn’t say anything, although words were at the tip of her tongue. You could see she was struggling to add something, but she finally relented, settling for a gentle hug. “I’m glad,” she smiled. 

Okay, now it was time to figure out what the hell happened. “So…who saved me?” you asked her, using your arms to prop you up a little bit higher on the hammock. “Well, it’s a long story. Aonung kind of…followed us to see the nrr payoang. He was planning to surprise us, he said.” 

what

“He said he saw us, and as he was swimming down he saw you get pulled down by the creature. He dove in immediately and saved you.” she offered a small smile, like anything she was saying was making sense at the moment.

The only thing that came into your mind was the blaring red siren that screamed “STALKER! STALKER! STALKER!” but unfortunately, the pufferfish on legs had just saved your life so you were probably going to have to shut up about that for a while.

Woah. He just saved your life, [Name], shouldn’t you be more grateful? Maybe hug him? Maybe-

NO! Inner thoughts, shut up. Nobody likes you.

Tsireya turned around in response to the sound of someone being pushed through the entrance to the healing tent. 

Aonung. 

Wait nonononono Tsireya please don’t get up please don’t leave me here with him he looks like he’s about to kill me please

Aaand she’s gone. 

He took a pained breath, as if what he was going to do next was going to bruise him for the next couple centuries or so, sitting cross legged beside your, now that you realise it, very lowly hung hammock.

You were positive the look on your face wasn’t very inviting. 

“I’m sorry,” he finally said.

You had half a mind to burst out laughing because you were the one that had to get saved in the middle of the deep dark ocean. But he did violate you so obviously you weren’t going to do that, it was well deserved. A non-consensual move is still a non-consensual move.

“For the record, I only wanted to….” he basically whispered the next word, “kiss” (you felt your whole body cringing and twisting and turning on the inside and screaming to be let go from this horrible situation) “the top of your head.”

Oh. 

‘kayyyy… that makes it the tiniest bit better. 

Still not forgiving though. 

“I’m sorry too.” you said to him, your eyes now avoiding his face. Damn, did you slap him good.

He let out a small smirk. Oh no, you slapped his smirking cheek. You could see him wince in pain a bit before he stopped his expression abruptly.

“For what? I mean besides the slap. I deserved that. Although, I have no idea how you knew-” his eyes widened, stopping mid-sentence.

“Were you pretending the whole time?” he asked, eyes scrutinising your face.

“Okay hold on! I know it sounds crazy, but I had this dream, and you were in my dream–” you started explaining, ignoring his smirk at those words, “and I saw you lean down to like, kiss me, or something, and then I slapped you in the dream but I slapped you in real life.”

“All I got from that was ‘I dreamed about you kissing me, Aonung, please kiss me now, Aonung, I love you, Aonung’ ” he joked, smiling down at you.

Gosh, those dimples. 

FUCK nononononnnonasonfiwbjberhblvhaqnerovnav

Okay but he was kinda attractive as hell right now.

The hair too.

You weighed your options for a bit, the tension in the air crisp.

“[Name]? Did I say something wro–” he started. 

Ughhhhh, just shut up already.

Before you knew it, you closed your eyes and pulled him in by his neck, pressing his lips onto yours, kissing him.

He sighed into the kiss, before smiling really widely, pulling away.

“So I was right after all–”

“Just shut up before I give you a matching bruise on the other cheek,” you threatened. But a super wide smile was evident on your face, and your hands still clasped together on the back of his neck.

“Yes ma’am,” he smiled, whispering softly, looking into your eyes and then your lips again.

“Thank you for saving my life, ‘Nung.” you say. 

You don’t know why the hell you’re doing this.

 But it just feels right.

 And isn’t that what we’re all looking for in the end?

“No problem. Would do it again,” he smirked, “Know how you can repay me?” 

You rolled your eyes before pulling him in once again.

masterlist

Omg screaming crying WOOO it’s over it’s done! I’m so so sorry if it didn’t turn out to be exactly what you asked for, anon. Harder than I thought it would be to complete a fic after a solid 10 months of not writing (and also unfortunate circumstances arising). I made sure it was longer than my usual so that it’s not too bad 😭

I hope you guys enjoyed the fic, I know I definitely enjoyed writing it lol. I tried a different style of narration this time so do let me know what you guys think! Hope it’s not total doodoo to future Lorre when she rereads this back again. 

As always, feedback is much much appreciated and any interaction with my posts helps a lot! In case anyone has more requests please feel free to leave them in the inbox, I will get to them eventually. Thinking of writing for a lot of characters and fandoms but this is getting way too long so I'll cut this short lmao.

see you later!

much love, lorre

[elllisaaa]

loved the bf!beomgyu!!! <3 could you perhaps do bf!taehyun as well? :)

the bf!txt agenda is not doing any good for my delulu hours but here we go !!

BF!TAEHYUN who is not the most talkative, but that is the most caring and observant boyfriend ever.

for example, he knows exactly what your coffee order is, he knows what your favourite snacks are, and he knows which song from your long ass playlist on spotify is your favourite. and these are things you don't even have to tell him, just because he always has an eye on you, and because he wants you to feel like a princess. and that's how taehyun makes you feel everyday. whenever you need something, bet he would hand you his card so you can pay for it. and don't even think about paying something for yourself or the both of you when you two are going out. but that's just because he wants to treat you like the queen you are.

"oh and i left my card for you on the kitchen counter, since you're going out with your friends this afternoon. i know you will do some shopping so get yourself something nice for our date tonight angel."

even if you don't workout, taehyun will bring you to the gym with him. he doesn't need you to do anything else than be there for him. it's maybe not what some would call quality time, but it is for both of you, especially when his schedule is so packed. he steals some kisses between his sets, lets you vent to him about your annoying coworkers, and smiles everytime you take his towel to wipe the sweat from his forehead. and yes, he also loves it when you gush over his muscles and how strong he is. he's often the one praising you, and when you compliment him, he always finds a way to turn it back and fluster you. so sometimes, you make it your life mission to make him blush instead. and he lets you do so because you have him wrapped around your finger.

"you're very pretty today angel." - "but you're prettier tae, the prettiest boy in the world." - "what did i do to deserve you ?"

you know that your boyfriend sometimes struggles to talk about his emotions and feelings, and you're always here for him no matter what. but when he finally opens up to you, he's never backing up. everytime he feels bad or tired we would've kept it to himself and stayed alone before. but now, after a long day at work, all he wants is to come back home to you and hold you close to him. sometimes he needs to tell you everything that happened, and sometimes he just needs you to soothe him into your embrace. either way, he feels the most at ease, the most loved when he's close to you. in the mornings after these nights, he wakes up before you to make you breakfast as a thank you, even if you insist that he doesn't need to and that it's your job as his girlfriend. but the princess treatment never ends with taehyun, and he will never take you for granted.

"just eat angel, i did it because i wanted to and because i love you."

BF!TAEHYUN who pays for everything just so he can literally ruin you for any other men when you come back home.

because the reason he let you borrow his card to pay for your hair, your nails and your clothes, has some ulterior motives. he loves it when you're all dolled up for him, when you take up so much time to look even better than usual for him. he especially loves it when you're wearing skirts or dresses, because it gives him an easier access for when he bends you over the couch and fucks you from behind. he loves it when your makeup runs down your face because you're crying from how good he's making you feel. taehyun loves it when your hair are all tangled and messy because he's tugging on them when you're sucking on his cock. and he loves it when he sees the scratching marks your brand new nails he payed for had left on his back.

"that's it princess, cry for me. feels good ? i know it does."

taehyun is always willing to give you everything you want in bed, as long as you're good for him and doing everything he's telling you to. one of his favourite ways to torture you a little is by edging you. you can choose how he's pleasing you - his mouth, fingers or cock, whatever you want, he'll give it to you - but you have to warn him every time you're close, and he'll stop. and when he finally lets you cum, he's telling how proud of you he is, how good you are for him, and how good he's gonna fuck you as a reward. and he does fucks you good, so good you're going dumb and can only whine and cry out for him.

"my good girl, i'm gonna take care of you, hm ? gonna reward my angel."

but when you're not following his orders, or when you decide to be a brat and act out, he has no other choice but to discipline you, right ? his go to punishment is to bend you over his lap and spank you. taehyun makes you count each slap he gives you, finding it cute how red the skin of your ass gets with each new one. he loves it when you stumble over your words, moaning and crying out when he slaps your butt one more time. each time, you take your punishment so well he cannot do anything else than rewarding you with his cock, because after all, you're his princess and he just wants to give you the best. and obviously, he loves it when you're all cute and innocent, but the best moment is when you become nasty and desperate for him and he gets to lovingly degrade you.

"my pretty little slut, acting like a saint and whoring yourself out for my cock."

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 45

ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 42, part 43, part 44

Dustin can forget how weird the summer can feel. The schedule that gets instilled during school takes time to break out of. The days rolling by without purpose. Time slowly slipping away as the heat rolls in full force.

He forgets how fast milestones can creep up. How, before, summer was this big thing that he loved. He loved having nothing to do during the day. Was able to take the time to hang out with his friends, get to do things around town. The pool was open, the arcade’s hours were extended. It was more acceptable to just wander around the woods because you were bored. The days were for his taking.

Accept, as the fireworks start to make their way to the shelves, he’s reminded of everything again.

The anniversary of Starcourt is coming up. Not like Dustin thinks he’ll be affected by it that much, it’s just something he’s more aware of now. His mind has been so focused on Eddie, and his recovery, it totally slipped Dustin’s mind. Until he was out shopping with his mom and froze in front of the display of fireworks. Stunned.

He forgot that for everyone else, fireworks are just a thing that exists. Something that is fun, festive. Not a weapon to distract a monster the size of a building from killing his friends. Only they know the weight of a firework as it leaves their hands.

The thought comes as fast as it leaves. There were other things that he could focus on. The movie night at Will’s, since Steve’s house has become sort of a battle ground. Dustin’s hoping that whatever is going on between Steve and Eddie, it will be resolved soon. He missed going over there.

But he could spend some time with his friends. It would be good for him.

He hadn’t really told anyone what happened to him that day he had his panic attack. Because that’s what it was, despite his denial of it. They didn’t need to know that he was going through something. He didn’t want to be a burden.

With all of their traumas, Dustin’s wasn’t exactly the most important. They didn’t need to worry about him on top of dealing with their own shit. Dustin was still healthy, still walking, he was fine. Would be fine.

At the end of the day, he gets to go home unscathed. The nightmares are starting to wane. Those specific nightmares at least.

Now, it’s just thoughts of burning sparks and screams. Long tunnels and air vents. The fourth was going to bother him more than he wanted to admit. He couldn’t let them know that.

Lucas jabs an arm into his side. “Right, Dustin?”

Dustin blinks, bringing himself back into the room. “What?”

Mike rolls his eyes. “Were you literally not paying attention this entire time?”

“Maybe he got sick of your stupid complaining and made the smart decision to stop listening,” Max insults.

“I was not complaining.”

Will makes a face. “You were complaining a little bit.”

“Was not.”

“Anyway,” Lucas raises his voice to interrupt. “We were talking about whether Steve would let us use his pool this weekend, so we don’t have to go to the public one. I said he would, but Mike disagreed.”

Mike crosses his arms. “Yeah, have you heard the way him and Eddie have been fighting. It’s so annoying.”

“His uncle was over here a few days ago,” El adds. “I was not supposed to overhear, but I heard him and dad talking about it.”

“I’m worried about them,” Max says quietly. “Eventually they are going to say something they regret. You can’t take that stuff back.”

Dustin agrees, silently. He’s been worried about them too. After hearing them fight on the last day of school, he thought it was a one-off thing. Until he was over a few days later and the same thing happened, Wayne gave him a drive home just so he didn’t have to hear it.

He doesn’t know how they even start. Something so small sets them off, and they just get loud. Throwing insults at each other like it’s nothing. Like it doesn’t hurt more than just them.

And it’s not like he thinks it’s going to go this far, or even really knows how Steve used to be, but there are moments where Steve can be mean. Just say something cruel without realizing it. He apologizes, most of the time, when he catches it. But it still slips out. Dustin doesn’t want him to say something to hurt Eddie.

Nor does he want Eddie to say something to hurt Steve. Eddie can get proud, make assumptions that he thinks are true based off of principle. He can be just as mean as Steve can.

They were going to hurt each other, and Dustin’s just waiting for the bullet to be shot. The fallout will happen, and he can try to repair it. He was so happy when Steve and Eddie became friends, he forgot that there was a reason they weren’t before. He didn’t want high school bullshit to force its way into their relationship. Not when there were much bigger things to worry about.

“I still think that he would let us use the pool,” Lucas insists. “They can cool it for a few hours. Maybe it will be good for them.”

Maybe. Everything is always hindering on a maybe. Nothing was certain anymore. If it was ever certain before.

“And you could talk to them, right?” Lucas asks Dustin.

“Why me?”

“Because you know they will do literally anything for you,” Max crosses her arms.

Dustin scoffs. “I can name ten examples off the top of my head where that is not true.”

“But it’s still better coming from you than the rest of us,” Mike points out.

“Just try it,” Lucas insists. “If he says no, then we’ll just go to the public pool.

Dustin tries to protest more, but everyone’s looking at him. Expecting him to get up and call. Do whatever it is that he does that gets Steve to just say yes.

On a normal day, he would. But he doesn’t want to impose on a situation that’s no longer perfect. When Eddie and Steve are at each other’s throats more times than they should be. It kills Dusitn to hear it. He hasn’t stepped foot in the house since he realized it wasn’t just a one-off thing. When the screaming got so bad, doors slammed synchronously as they broke apart, leaving Dustin standing confused in the hallway.

It was Dustin’s fault they were living like this. It was his idea that the Munson’s move in with Steve in the first place. They wouldn’t be fighting if Dustin hadn’t suggested that. They wouldn’t be hurting each other if Dustin didn’t intervene.

All he does is put himself into situations that hurt people. Never himself.

The eyes are still on him when he goes over to the phone. Dials the number and waits for it to ring.

“Hello,” Steve answers.

“Hey, Steve, it’s Dustin.” He pauses, looking back at the group. They motioned for him to continue. “We, I, was wondering if we could use your pool on Saturday.”

“One sec,” Dustin can hear Steve cover the phone with his hand. “Hey, Rob,” he yells. “Do we have work on Saturday? Ok. Yeah, you guys can come over.”

Dustin should be relieved, but he can’t let himself feel that. He turns away from the group again, lowering his voice and covering the receiver with his hand. “Are you sure? Like, everyone would be fine with it?”

“Yeah, it’s really no problem. You guys know your welcome over any time.”

He does, but it doesn’t stop him from second guessing. “Ok. I guess we’ll see you on Saturday, then.”

“Dustin, are you ok?”

“Yeah,” he lies. “I’m fine.”

tag list (closed): @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,

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[pjisskullourful]

𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓼

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

🍉 Damiano × reader

part 30 [series masterpost]

18+ readers only!!!🔥 nasty, explicit smutathon

° Damiano David/female reader insert ✨ guest starring: Victoria De Angelis, Luna Passos, Thomas Raggi & Ethan Torchio

wordcount: 10,650

° request from my shopping star anon: just hanging around at home in the evening- surprises with this. Descends into [!;)!] massage, leading to slow ;)!! with perhaps a bit of light bondage and/or spanking with multiple orgasms + dom/sub however if it's possible maybe no daddy kink? 💋 thanks somuch for the support& thank you for specifying that you wanted the daddy stuff left out [send your own request in here!] [or get more control& priority by booking a commission!]

° set in may, 2024

“I don’t wanna go to work tomorrow.” You had wandered into the bedroom specifically to share this complaint with your boyfriend.

It wasn’t the first time tonight that you had expressed this to him. It had been an awful day in the office for you, putting you into the kind of mood that felt so helpless, all you were capable of was whining.

Damiano was letting you vent. You thought this was due to him feeling guilty over the fact that he was about to leave, jetting off to Mexico and leaving you alone in this emotional state. He had a festival to perform at, he was heading towards much more fun things than the drama that was keeping you down.

He was putting his suitcase together, getting ready for the flight that departed in the morning. He had been talking to Thomas on the phone, keeping one another company as they separately completed the same task. The friends were good at keeping each other focused. Usually one would remember an item the other hadn’t packed yet, their mentioning of it reminding the other to find it for themselves. Between the two of them, they could successfully get everything they needed into a suitcase.

You had waited until after this call ended to join Damiano in the bedroom. His bag was already zipped shut. Now he was putting away the items that had gotten moved to the wrong spot as he had been hunting for a specific necklace or a pair of socks.

You threw yourself onto the bed, groaning. The issues that had come up at work still felt so close. You couldn’t forget how close to the next shift you were too.

“I know, babygirl.” He said, turning to face you from his spot in front of the wardrobe. “Have you decided how you’re gonna play it yet?”

You put a hand over your eyes. “No, I can’t figure it out.”

“Do you want my advice? I’ve never worked in an office, so I don’t know exactly what you’re going through. But I know what I would do if I were in your place.” He said.

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” You asked.

“I would just act like it never happened, put it to bed and move on with your job.” He said.

You sprang up, your mouth hanging open as you stared at him in disbelief. “What, how can I do that?”

He shrugged. “I’d say it’s pretty simple, you just don’t bring it up and I doubt the others-”

“No, I don’t mean how in the sense of needing instructions.” You interrupted. “I mean, why would I give up this fight?”

There was an awkward look on his face as he played with one of the rings on his finger. “Are you sure that it’s your fight to be fighting?”

Your mouth was still open, but nothing came out, there were too many words and ideas for you to know how to start. The emotions were clouding up your head too.

At work, you had tried to do something proactive, something that felt like you were contributing to positive change. Something small - on the front desk, you had placed a collection tin, which you had decorated with the Palestinian flag. There were organisations you had donated to in the past, which you would happily tell clients about if they were to add any money to the tin.

But you hadn’t gotten to see any customers interact with it. Within the first hour of the tin being placed on the counter, your co-worker Aileen had raised issue with it.

You shouldn’t have been surprised that she would use this as an excuse to complain. It had begun with her asking if someone had instructed you to create this - no, you had decided on it yourself. Then she asked if you thought it was appropriate. Before you could answer, she had departed.

When she returned, she had been accompanied by your boss. She had pointed the tin out to him, stating you had used the office’s printing supplies for an unauthorised personal project. You had offered to use your own money to buy replacement ink cartridges for the printer. Your boss told you that wasn’t necessary.

But what he did deem necessary was you removing the donation tin at once. You had tried to stand your ground, reminding him of past charities the company had collected for. He hadn’t been swayed, telling you this office wasn’t the place for politics.

He had simply walked away while you had been explaining that supporting people in Gaza didn’t have to be political. He snatched the donation tin from the counter, carrying it with him out of the room. It probably went into his bin.

Aileen had remained standing in front of you. She had wanted to know where you got the audacity to be such a troublemaker.

Your frustrations had kept you from walking away from this confrontation. As the two of you talked you had discovered that she wasn’t opposed to the current war. You had tried to change her mind, receiting facts that had been fuelling your rage since last October. Each time she had tried to interrupt you, you had just raised the volume of your voice.

But you hadn’t succeeded in giving her a new outlook on the dire situation. The only result had been you receiving an official warning to not berate any other members of staff. Your behaviour was categorised as aggressive.

This was the first written warning you had gotten at this job, or at any job. It was baffling because you had only ever viewed yourself as a good worker. You thought that you were accommodating and friendly, a chronic people-pleaser.

Max had been the only one on your side. 

“If I go in and act like none of this happened, they’re gonna think they won because they’re right. But they’re not.” You said.

“I agree, they’re not.” He said. “But is it worth risking your job to maybe change the minds of these stubborn old fuckers?”

“Maybe it is.” You said.

His eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been having troubles at work for a while.” You said, looking at the bedspread because you didn’t feel currently capable of meeting his eye. “When my Christmas break ended, I had this thought, like, oh my God, am I really going to spend another year with these people?” He came to sit on the mattress with you, but you kept looking down. “Aside from Max, of course.

“But another year in that office as I’m waving goodbye to you every other day- it kind of gave me this feeling of dread and I don’t think it’s fully gone away.” You said, using the tip of your finger to draw patterns on the material.

He put his hand over yours, holding it securely. “I had no idea you were feeling this way, baby.”

“I know, I’m sorry that I kept it from you. I just didn’t have it in me to explain something I was confused by. I hate to dwell in the negative, there’s so many other good things we could have been talking about.” You said. “I thought it was being exacerbated by me feeling left out over all the things I couldn’t go to with you and I knew hearing that would make you feel guilty, so I was better off not saying it.”

“I’ll support you no matter what you do.” He said. “Selfishly, I would love it if you were available to travel with me more often because I absolutely love having you around. But I want this to be a decision that you make for you.”

You looked up, starting to nod your head. The lack of worry on his face helped you from getting freaked out. “I think I’m gonna do it. I think this whole argument with Aileen should be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.”

“But you should quit ‘cause it’s the best thing for you, not ‘cause that woman got under your skin one too many times.” He said.

You readjusted your hand so that you could link your fingers with his. “No, it’s for me. You’re gonna be gone so much when we get to the second half of this year. And I’m really excited for all of the great things you’re going to be doing. But it will be way more exciting if I get to be there.”

“It really will be, baby.” He said, starting to smile.

You put your hand to his cheek, drawing him in for a kiss. A giddy rush coming up from your tummy. He kissed you back as you enjoyed your clarity.

“I can feel it, it’s like this weight has been lifted off of my chest.” You said, smiling back at him.

“I was going to ask what I could do to help you feel better, but you have taken care of that all yourself. That sad girl has disappeared, not a tiny trace left behind.” He admired.

“Is it too late to get me added to the flight to Mexico and everything?” You asked.

He began to fish his phone out of his pocket. “Only one way to find out.”

You released his hand, wondering where you left your own phone. “I should call Max.”

He grimaced. “Yeah, you definitely need to talk this through with your wife.” He gave you an encouraging pat on the ass as you stood up. “Good luck.”

You left for the living room. You found your phone on the lounge, resting with the packet of berry-flavoured lollies that you had been binge eating.

You picked up the device and considered the time it displayed - no, it wasn’t too late to call your friend. You pressed the corresponding icons and soon heard her voice.

“What’s happened?” She instantly asked. “Did you call Aileen to finish your rant and she didn’t like your tone, so she wrote it up as an official complaint and now you’re fired?”

“No, I didn’t even consider calling her or anything like that.” You said.

“Really? I’ve been considering it.” She said. “More than once I’ve pulled up her contact details and looked at it and thought about all of the things I could say to her. Like, if she wants to see some actual aggression, then she can come for my girl one more time and I’ll show her someone getting aggressive for real.”

“Don’t do that, you don’t need to get into trouble too.” You said.

“I just hated the way she got away with making you feel so bad about yourself.” She said.

You smiled in a bittersweet way. “You’re such a good friend.”

“Shut up baby, I know it.” She teased before switching to a less joking tone. “So what’s up? Did you need to talk to me about something?”

You sank down onto the lounge, wondering if there were a good way to deliver this news that would mean the end of you working together. “Yeah I gotta tell you… I’m quitting.”

“Right, me too.” She said, back to joking. “Do you think we would make more money on OnlyFans if we set up our account as a duo? Or should we have separate pages and just do lots of collabs?”

“No, I’m really gonna quit, right now, I’m serious.” You said, not even cracking a smile. “Today was my last day.”

“What?” She practically shouted. “You’re not allowed to do that.”

“I have to. I’m just fucking done with it.”

“Babe…”

“I wanna go travelling with Damiano.” You said.

She made an exaggerated groan. “I can’t compete with that. How am I supposed to tell you to not go exploring the world with your rockstar boyfriend?”

“I don’t think you do. I think you’re supposed to wish me luck and promise that you’ll be okay working there without me.” You said.

You heard something that sounded like a sniffle. “Yeah, I’ll be able to survive, I just won’t be thriving without my wife there.” You began to chew on your lower lip. “But that would be the dumbest reason to stay in a job where you’re miserable. Honestly, if I was you, I wouldn’t have stuck around for so long. I would have just kept my bag packed and gone to every single place with him, at least a year ago, maybe earlier.”

She didn’t dedicate any time to attempting to change your mind. You didn’t feel any kind of pull, your instincts weren’t trying to get you to doubt the decision. It continued to feel like the right thing to do.

Instead of pouting, she helped you to compose the email that would be your official resignation. As you typed the words into your phone, her voice came through the loudspeaker.

Damiano visited you in the lounge room a few times, checking on how you were doing. The first time was so he could gently interrupt, telling you that the arrangements were being made to add you to Måneskin’s trip to Mexico. His next appearance was to provide you with a cup of tea.

It wasn’t until after midnight that you, as supported by Max, decided the email was perfect and ready to be sent to your boss. Damiano joined you on the couch again, holding your hand as you stared at the completed draft.

You had to mentally work yourself up to the point where you could press send. The finality of it was intimidating you. You couldn’t return any of her jokes. You didn’t smile back to the reassuring smiles he showed you whenever you looked at him.

You finally tapped the icon and the carefully crafted words disappeared from your screen. The gravity of the situation dawned on you, something that was almost tangible.

“I did it.” You said aloud, no real emotion in your voice.

Instantly, she started to clap her hands. “Fuck yeah, you’re free. Damiano, it is time to pop the champagne!”

He paused. “I don’t think we have any…”

“Dude, how are we gonna celebrate this momentous moment without champagne?” She asked.

You watched the screen of your phone time out and go black. “I’m unemployed.”

“Yeah, do you know how much reality TV you’re gonna have time to watch? You’ll see them all.” She said.

You looked at him. “I haven’t been unemployed since, like, right after high school.”

“It’s okay, baby.” He said. “It’s a change, but nothing bad is going to come from it.”

“He’s right. It’s better to go out on your own terms like this, than to have them fire you and get down on yourself ‘cause of it.” She said.

“It’s just gonna be weird.” You said, resting your phone on your leg so that you could hold his hand with both of yours. “I hope I’m good at adjusting. It’s so strange for me to not know exactly what’s gonna happen to me tomorrow.”

“Bitch, you do know exactly what you’re going to do tomorrow.” She said. “It’s called flying to Mexico to stay in a luxury hotel. This time tomorrow you’re going to be sitting by a pool, laughing your fucking ass off because you have no work to stress over.”

“I should probably let you go, so you can get some sleep before work tomorrow.” You said.

“Boo, you whore.” She bitterly responded.

You wrapped up the call by telling her how much you loved her, as well as making her promise to call you with details of the office’s reaction to your sudden departure.

You placed your phone aside and immediately slumped into Damiano. You rested your head on his shoulder and he squeezed your hands as you shut your eyes. 

“Good work, pet.” He said.

“Do you think my parents will be really disappointed?” You asked, considering the situation from this new perspective.

“What? No, not at all. You quit to get yourself out of a situation that was worsening. And you haven’t screwed yourself over financially by doing it. They have no reason to be disappointed.” He said, giving you a kiss on the temple. “Now, even though I wanna keep reassuring you, and I do wanna help you feel better, we have to get you packed for Mexico.”

Your eyes snapped open, your mood shifting to something more alert. “Right, we gotta do that.”

He accompanied you back to the bedroom, placing an empty bag onto the bed for you. From your belongings you selected things that you had taken on other Måneskin trips. He read the itinerary to you, helping you prepare for the things planned aside from the band’s festival gig. You added makeup palettes and checked that you had included your eye-mask.

Between the two of you calling on so much prior experience, you got the task completed relatively fast. Once you felt certain that you weren’t forgetting anything essential, you zipped the suitcase shut. He picked up the bag and carried it away, placing it by the front door with all of his luggage.

You sat on the mattress, even though you were aware of the late hour, there were still too many thoughts crowding up your mind for you to feel like sleep would be possible.

“Is it even worth it trying to get some sleep?” You asked as he came back into the room.

He climbed onto the bed too, lying down alongside you. “Well, that’s a tricky one. Do you wanna rest up so that you have plenty of energy for the fourteen-fuckin’-hour flight you’re gonna be on tomorrow?”

“Fourteen hours?” You repeated as you properly registered that duration for the first time.

“It’s up to you, babygirl.” He said.

You laid down, filling the space beside him. “I don’t know how actually sleepy I am.”

He brushed some strands of hair away from your face, watching you as he spoke. “That’s not surprising, you probably still have some adrenaline in you after that decision you made.”

You shut your eyes, just enjoying the feeling of his fingers caressing up-and-down the side of your face. “My crazy decision.”

“I’m so happy you did it.” He said, immediately getting your attention again. “I just keep thinking about how many things are gonna be different now and it keeps giving me reason to get excited. Every morning I’m gonna wake up with you right there. We haven’t had that before, I literally can’t wait.”

You smiled as you eased in closer, giving his lips a kiss. “Each night you’ll fall asleep with a naked toy in your arms.”

“Heaven.” He said, lifting himself above you a little and initiating another kiss. “You have just described Heaven to me.” He rested one of his arms above your head as he brought some of his body down to rest on yours, beginning to pin you down. He kissed you again, lingering a little longer this time. “But, seriously- I’m really glad that you quit before it got worse and so much harder for you there.

“I hated seeing you so down on yourself every day when you would get home from work. It worried me and I didn’t know how much of a toll it was taking on you, deep down where I couldn’t see. I didn’t want it to get to the point where it was so fucking toxic that it ruined part of you, giving you PTSD or something.” He said.

You reached a hand up to caress his cheek. “You don’t need to worry about that anymore.”

“I’m also glad that you left before they got the chance to beat the activist out of you. It was discouraging for you, I know it was.” He said. “But I love that side of you. You’re so compassionate and passionate and it’s inspiring to me just how proactive you get.”

“That’s so sweet.” You said, feeling heat rise up in your cheeks. “I love you.”

He smiled as he moved in to kiss you again. “I love you too, my ferocious little kitten. You get to release any fraction of stress that you’ve been holding from your job. You can let go of all of it and it’s never come back, ever. I’m so excited for you.”

“Releasing all of my work-related stress, I might need some help with that.” You said, reaching your hand under his shirt so you could rest it on his back.

“Actually, I kinda already had something in mind. When I saw the bad mood you were in, I was gonna suggest this to help you relax before bed…” He gave you a kiss then got up, walking over to the wardrobe.

He had your curiosity secured and you rolled over onto your side so you could keep watching him. He opened the closet to his side and pulled one of the draws open. You saw the nondescript box in his hand, but you had no guesses of what it could contain.

“I came across this person’s shop on TikTok and I was intrigued right away. I thought it would be a great anniversary present, but the shipping took longer than I expected.” He said, coming back over to you. The box didn’t bear any familiar logos, nothing you could use as a hint for what was inside. “I’ve just been keeping it secret ‘til I could figure out the perfect time to give it to you.”

He passed it to you and you took the box with one hand. Even though the box wasn’t particularly big, you immediately felt the weight from whatever it encased. He was smiling as he watched you figuring out where to open it from.

You got the cardboard box opened, finding a candle filling it. You brought it out, moving carefully once you realised the cylindrical item had a glass outer-shell.

A small piece of paper came free with the candle, getting your attention when it landed on your lap. You picked it up and held onto it without acknowledging any of the writing on it at first. Because your focus was on sampling the candle’s scent.

It was instantly sweet, but not in a way that overpowered your nostrils. You guessed it was a berry. But there was another element, something that reminded you of the soap you would find in one of his luxurious hotel rooms.

“Mm, this smells great. Thank you, baby.” You said.

“You’re very welcome.” He said, still smiling.

You had a proper look at the card in your hand, expecting it to list the sellers online platforms. But that was only one part of the details this paper provided.

Massage candle, the heading informed you - it wasn’t a term you were instantly familiar with, so you kept reading. It was made of different properties than a traditional candle, when heated it would melt into an oil, meant to be used like any other massage lotion.

It boasted to be superior to ‘old school’ wax play, something you had never engaged in. Some of the listed benefits included that there was the time-saver of no skin preparation required. There wasn’t any uncomfortable or tedious peeling off of the skin as occurred with wax.

You had never known candles to be part of a kinky scene. Perhaps a nicely scented one could help establish a mood. But your imagination had never featured them beyond that.

He had sat down with you again. “What do you think?”

“I get a massage?” You asked.

He nodded before kissing you. “Uh-huh, let me take care of you like this, babygirl.”

“Right here?” You sought to clarify.

“Yep, I’ll get a lighter. You get naked and lie down, I guess we’ll start with you on your front?”

“Works for me.” You replied.

You handed the candle back to him and started to take your clothes off. Within seconds, he had a lighter in his hand, bringing the small flame to the candle’s wick. The sweet and warming scent bloomed into the room as you removed your panties.

You saw the smile on his face as you turned yourself over. He was gone from your field of vision as you lowered down, your chest meeting the bedspread. You got comfortable in this position and trying to guess his next move kept your thoughts from wandering.

“Have you ever used something like this before?” You asked.

“No, but I’ve known about them for ages and always had a curiosity in the back of my mind, like, oh one day I’ll get to that.” He said, joining you on the bed. You rested your head to one side, gaining back your view of him, even though it was limited. “I know we haven’t done wax play before and our temperature play has just been with cold stuff, but I knew you wouldn’t be intimidated by something new.”

“Damn right.” You interjected.

“This is the kind of thing where we control the intensity, so it doesn’t have to be about overwhelming you if you don’t want it to be. You just keep communicating with me and we’ll do it exactly as you like.” He said.

“Thank you, babe.”

He held the illuminated candle in his hand as he hovered above you, supported by his knees on the mattress. Even in this limited lighting, you could see the way his eyes were appraising your nude form.

“I’m supposed to only be pampering my pet…” He began. “But I don’t know if I can resist doing this…”

He concluded this sentence with an action - slapping his open hand against your ass. The surprise made you flinch, then you giggled a little as the stinging sensation settled in. It made your heart pick up speed and your mind became even clearer.

“You don’t have to resist that.” You said.

“Oh, good.” He said. He made you gasp when he spanked the other side of your butt, it felt like he used even more power. “It’s just so cute…” He slapped each cheek. “And the way it jiggles every time…” He switched to faster hits, his strength slightly less apparent. “I love watching that, it is so aesthetically pleasing.

“I said I support your decision to quit and I do.” He said, taking a pause to just rest his available hand on your ass. “But there’s one job that you can absolutely never quit. Do you know what I’m referring to?”

You nodded as five letters came to the forefront of your mind. “Yes, I believe I do.”

He spanked your butt, matching more slaps to the syllables as he spoke them. “Kin-ky Kitt-ens L-L-C.”

Your eyes shut and it felt like the skin on your ass was glowing bright pink now. For the moment, he had stopped spanking you. But you kept yourself prepared to feel the next strike.

“I would never quit that job.” You said.

“Good, that’s what I wanna hear, babygirl.” He said as he began rubbing your skin instead. “Huh, I just noticed that the scent of this candle is strawberries and champagne. So it turns out I did have champagne for you, just not the kind you probably wanted to tell Miss Max about.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t need to know about this.” You said.

He took his hand off of you and you opened your eyes. It looked like all of his focus was on the candle as he held it closer to his face than before. He extended his index finger and reached it in, dipping into what was melting next to the flame. He didn’t flinch or make a face that indicated any pain.

When he pulled the finger out, you could see how it was partially coated. He considered its appearance before rubbing it into the skin on his forearm.

“Warm and very, very smooth.” He assessed as he nodded his head in approval.

He dipped two fingers in next, collecting more of the oil. This was applied to your shoulder. It didn’t feel any hotter than his skin usually did. The consistency reminded you of honey, but there was no stickiness. As he spread it across your skin, it felt like it was gliding.

He used three fingers next, scooping up as much product as he could get. Then he began to drip it onto your skin, across the top of your back. He held his hand up over you, letting the oil run off of his digits. It was a gentle and peaceful sensation, even though it was unpredictable.

He placed the candle safely on the bedside table, then used both hands to rub the thick oil into your skin. Your eyes fluttered shut as he gripped and began to apply pressure. He used every finger, pushing down firmly until it was hard to remember exactly where you had been feeling the earlier tension.

“Mmn, God that feels great.” You couldn’t help but moan these words out.

“Yeah, is this what my good girl was needing?” He asked.

You let out a happy whine. “Yes, exactly.”

Once he was done rubbing your shoulders, he picked the candle up again. He tried a different method of applying the oil to you. He held the candle above you and tipped it gradually to one side, guiding the small puddle of oil to spill.

These droplets were a little warmer when they landed on your skin, but it was nothing that brought pain. He seemed to want to cover your back, the thick liquid landing all over.

He used both hands to rub it in. You especially loved it when he placed each thumb over your spine, pushing upwards. That gave you the feeling that your limbs could melt.

“You’re really fucking good at this.” You said.

“Yeah? Maybe I should list this skill on my résumé, huh?” He asked.

“Babe, do you even have a résumé?”

He laughed. “Actually, no, Maybe I had one a very long time ago. But by this stage, I doubt any copies of it still exist.”

You could feel that the product was mostly evenly spread across your back when he went back to the candle for more. This time he applied the oil directly from his hands, starting to work on your legs.

“So have you ever done wax play before?” You asked.

“Kind of.”

You lifted your head a little, trying to get a better look at him. “What does that mean? It’s a yes or no answer.”

“What I did barely counts as wax play. It was over in about ten minutes and it was a rather unmemorable experience.” He said, rubbing along your calf muscles, really giving them his attention. “This woman, I don’t think she truly knew what she was doing. Maybe it was more of a fantasy than something she had practiced. She blew out the candle before pouring it. There was literally no dirty talk. And when the wax got all stuck in my chest hair later, she had no idea how to help me get it out.”

“You must have been disappointed.” You said.

“She was probably more disappointed.” He said. “I hope she’s done some research and progressed since then, because it was clearly an idea that appealed to her. So I hope she found a way to enjoy it. But you can’t just add wax and expect that it’ll do all of the sexy work for you. It’s a contributor, one of the instruments of the symphony.”

“How poetic.” You said.

He took his hands off of your legs and thoroughly surprised you by spanking your butt. The singular, loud crack was followed by you gasping. Your lack of preparation for this and the stark contrast to his massage made it hurt more than anything else you had felt tonight. Heat moved into this area, but also into your cunt.

“Okay, roll over.” He told you.

You did as instructed, wondering how visible the excited blush in your cheeks was to him. You settled your head on the pillow. Even though he wasn’t currently looking at you (instead reaching for the candle), you were feeling more aware of your nudity than ever.

He used his fingers to gather up more of the warmed oil, sharing it across both hands. He started on your shoulders from this new angle. “Are you enjoying it, kitty?”

“So much.” You said.

“Mm-hmm, thank you TikTok.” He said.

“What have you been looking at on that app for the algorithm to start sending you videos that are about low-key sex toys?” You asked.

He furrowed his brow as he paused, looking at you. “Sex toy? I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He pointed to the candle, the few words printed on its side. “It says right here: soy massage candle, nothing else, certainly nothing about sex.” He picked the glass container up again, holding it above your chest. “You must have a dirty mind if you just instantly thought this was sexual.”

You played along, rolling your eyes. When he began to spill the oil onto your tits it became more difficult to pretend that you were unimpressed.

“Uh-huh, because there’s nothing sexual about this.” You said with the right amount of sarcasm.

He freed up his hands by placing the candle aside. Then he put both of his moist hands onto your breasts, covering each as he leaned in closer to you. “Is this sexual?”

You couldn’t think of anything to say, getting distracted by the tingles that arose as he rubbed your breasts. Massaging the soft tissue, he could keep up the charade of this being part of his efforts to reduce your stress.

You could feel how receptive you were becoming to his touch. Although you weren’t bothered by anything, your body began to feel less relaxed. Your thighs clenched and you pressed them together, the heat between them was only growing.

His fingers kneading the skin moved to the central point: your nipples, which were already erect. He pinched them and you didn’t have it in you to withhold a reaction. Your lips parted and you arched your back, the neediness spreading through you.

He captured your mouth with his and you quickly wrapped an arm around him. He continued to manipulate your nipples, which gave you the feeling of being on the verge of melting much stronger than before. He worked them without eliciting any pain. As he tugged and twisted, his tongue slithered into your mouth. You whimpered and squirmed as these sensations rushed your mind, drowning absolutely everything else out.

“I think this is sexual.” He said, as if having just realised it.

“And I think you aren’t even a little surprised about that.” You said.

He had released your nipples, his fingers moving lower. His eyes followed this motion. His hands moved off of your tits, now gripping and exploring the soft sides of your torso. He rubbed his thumbs against you in little fanning motions, pressing deep, even if only briefly.

“I gotta check if there’s any knots to take care of down here.” He said, gradually moving further down your body.

“There weren’t any more knots in my boobs that need working out?” You asked.

“I don’t think so, but I can check again in a minute. ‘Cause I think an effective masseur needs to be thorough.” He said, glancing up at you to show you a cheeky smile

As the oil coating his fingers grew thinner his hands didn’t glide as perfectly across your skin. But he didn’t go back to the candle for more product, just continuing to work his hands down, his flow uninterrupted and you didn’t doubt that he was building to something.

One of his hands kept massaging your hip, while the other travelled in a new direction, seeking out your crotch. Your eyes fluttered shut as you basked in the anticipation.

His fingers trailed, then you felt them pressing into your pubic mound. He worked his fingers in swirls, slow while noticeably getting lower. You let your thighs drift apart for him as you felt more blood moving into your pussy, the whole area was getting desperately warm.

“Are you still enjoying your massage, pet?” He asked, lowering his hand so he could rub your labia up-and-down now.

“Mm-hmm, your talents for this are continuing to amaze me.” You said.

“Amaze?” He repeated.

Your chest swelled as your excitement soared at the feeling of him reaching between your labia. He touched his fingers to your clit then stroked down and brushed back up. He massaged slowly in this moist area, gently signalling the start of something new.

You felt more tingles lighting up your body as he continued this slow rubbing. It felt very decadent and it was your favourite part of the massage so far. With your thoughts so clear, you just focused on the different reactions building through you, on so many levels.

You whined, the end of this sound swallowed up as his mouth captured yours again. You were sinking deeper into the desires. You put your hand to the back of his head, needing him to stay this close and give you the delights of even more intimacy.

He was increasing the pressure as he continued to rub you, and your clitoral hood ached with eagerness. He had locked into a motion that he could maintain. The thoroughness of his movements told you that he was enjoying all of your reactions to his touches.

More muffled sounds rose up inside of you as he started to work your clitoral hood faster. The increasing intensity took more of that calmness from you, but you didn’t want it back.

You were gasping for air as you drew back from the kiss. Your chest rapidly rose-and-fell but he wasn’t going to give you a chance to compose yourself, his strokes were relentless.

You writhed as you rode these sensations higher, feeling the exciting potential of your orgasm. And he kept guiding more sensations into you, moving his fingers over an even smaller distance. His own breathing had become heavier, hinting at his concentration.

“There’s one spot that needs a lot of attention, pet. I can feel it.” He said, his lips close to your ear.

Both of your hands gripped to him. “I can feel it, too.”

As he so quickly worked his fingers back-and-forth, your excitement started to manifest into moving your hips. You had to move, had to use some of your invigorating energy.

You swung your hips, finding a rhythm that didn’t disrupt his momentum. Every movement produced a delicious reward as it felt like your entire body prepared for the climax.

He started to nibble on your earlobe, making you writhe up even higher. Your heart was skipping over some beats and new areas of your body were tensing up.

“Damiano, uuh…” You uttered in a choked sob as the movements of your hips turned into desperate jerks.

Your body convulsed and you felt yourself fall apart. The relief flooded into you, filling the areas your strength was rapidly fleeing from. You gasped without any real interest in getting your breath back.

He stopped playing with your ear, but his fingers didn’t leave your cunt. You were still basking in the effects of your orgasm, yet to quit grinding your hips into the air. The sensitivities continued to sizzle through your system, making you feel a little dazed.

Before you could figure out what came after this high, he was ripping your focus to a new sensation. He smoothly guided his wet fingers into your cunt, quickly pushing them inside.

A surprised whine got stuck in your suddenly tight throat. Your eyes were wide as you looked at him, finding a pleased expression on his face.

He licked his lips as he watched you, starting to move his fingers. He fucked them back-and-forth, keeping you feeling so dazed. Your walls clenched around him as he quickly found a promising tempo.

“Keep coming for me, kitten.” He instructed over the wet noises your cunt was making.

“Mm-hmm… so good.” You whispered.

It was effortless to surrender again, feeling your approach to the edge. He lifted his palm as he pounded his fingers the entire way in, resulting in his hand colliding with your clit. You cried out as quakes erupted from your core, your clit still tingling even when he slightly drew his hand back.

He rutted it into you again, making this the new conclusion to his strokes. At the same time, he brought your body closer to him, his arm holding you tighter. You pressed yourself to his skin, your senses were so filled by him that you thought overdosing was a possibility.

He proceeded to curl his fingers inside of you, adding even more impact to their movements. At the right depth, he pressed his fingertips into your sweet spot.

The sharp increase in intensity stunned you, rendering you momentarily breathless. Your body spasmed and your inner-walls clenched on his fingers.

You clapped a hand over your eyes as you felt yourself falling apart again. The big sensations that consumed you were a little intimidating, the power dwarfed you. Your gut tightened and you questioned how much more you could realistically take.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fff-fuck, fuck.” You rasped.

He bounced the palm of his hand on your clitoral hood, sending you disappearing into a new orgasm. You quivered and went limp in his hold, securing your peace.

He laid you back down on the bed and you were still, too overcome to do anything yet. The aftershocks were powerful and consistent as you tried to figure out what was on this other side of your peak. He applied kisses to your forehead and you could hardly believe how secure you felt. This level of contentment was beyond anything you could have imagined for yourself when in the grips of the earlier stress.

“Mm.” You hummed as you reached up to caress his cheek. “When I call you Master in the future, it’s short for master of massages.”

He chuckled. “Is that my new title?”

“Yep, you’ve definitely earned it.” You said. “God, you just always know what my body needs.”

As you felt him readjusting, you opened your eyes and looked up. Some of his body rested on top of yours while he braced himself with a hand on the bed. He met your eye as you were admiring the little details on his face that were illuminated by the flickering candlelight.

He smiled at you and brought himself closer to you, until he could secure a kiss. This was swiftly followed by another and you draped your arms around him. You were at that point of your recovery where the sensitivities remained, less dominant but keeping you feeling that dreamy state. You were elevated as you kissed him back, knowing you were still close to the wild arousal.

He eased a bit of space between the two of you, then lifted his fingers up to his mouth. He extended two then started licking at the moisture already marking them. You could smell your pussy on his fingers as he slowly licked them, savouring their current taste.

Then he wanted to share his intimate treat, holding the digits up to your face. You opened your mouth, allowing him to put them inside, resting on your tongue. The unique flavour met your tongue as you stared into his eyes. You placed both of your hands on his back, feeling that you needed to prepare for what was to come next, even though you didn’t yet know what it would be.

“What does your body need, babe?” You asked.

“There are a lot of ways I could answer that.” He said.

“I’m ready to hear them.” You said.

He didn’t share any words with you, just smiling as he made subtle adjustments to how he held you. Then he was shifting his weight, starting a roll onto his side. Your body went with his, securely in his arms as he lifted you. He laid down on his back and you found yourself on top.

You caressed his shoulders and quickly kissed him. “It’s a great view for me.”

“Do you think you can handle it?” He asked.

You didn’t need him to elaborate. “I don’t know if I could come again, so soon after the last one. But I want to make you come, it’s definitely your turn.”

“Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t come again.” He said as he made the moves to take his shirt off. “I don’t want you to feel pressured, if it happens, then it happens. And if it doesn’t there’s absolutely no reason to apologise, I won’t be offended.”

“Okay.” You said and you secured one more kiss from him before you both got distracted by the task of getting him out of his pants.

As soon as he was out of his underwear, your attention went straight to his dick. How long had it been hard without you noticing? New ideas were coming into your head, at a pace you thought you had been too lethargic for.

His hands explored all over your body as you settled yourself on top of him. “I love making you feel better.”

“I’m sorry that it’s been so often lately.” You said.

He grabbed your face, instantly getting you to look at him. “Hey, what are you saying sorry for? I’m not complaining, not even a little bit.”

You paused, just coming to the realisation that what you had said was self-deprecating. You had spoken without any real thought, not noticing how natural it was to put yourself down and think you had done something wrong.

You smiled, feeling slightly vulnerable. “Right, thank you, baby.”

You switched your focus to something you could draw confidence from. With your balance secured by your knees planted on the bed, you rocked your weight back, sitting up. He looked up at you, seemingly appreciating the sight of you as you made the final, little adjustments.

You tensed your thighs and one hand worked in the shadow to get his dick in the right spot, lined up with your pussy. His fingers moved back toward his mouth as you began burying his cock inside of you. You saw him sucking more of your taste off of the fingers as he helped you guide the shaft deeper by arching his back.

Your walls were clenching to his length at once, there was so much sensitivity still in your cunt. But he didn’t seem to mind, he didn’t give a single syllable to correcting your behaviour. So you didn’t waste your time trying to change it with deep breaths, or other methods.

Instead you launched into figuring out how your bodies could move together. The relaxation you had been feeling in your muscles was forgotten, cast aside as you started rocking on top of him. You were tingling and feeling a new excitement that inspired you for the goal of his orgasm.

You found a motion that felt maintainable, dragging his length back-and-forth at your own massaging rhythm. He watched you, his eyes tracking your every movement with great interest.

He added more impact to your thrusts by pushing back against them. You felt your heart leap as he hit into you harder and his tip went deeper. The echo of your most recent orgasm got clearer, the memories of the intensity energised you.

He put both of his hands to your hips as he looked for your reaction, raising his head from the pillow slightly. You felt a different kind of vulnerability in this moment.

“Good girl feels so perfect on my cock. Do you know that?” He asked and you became aware of a hot blush in your face. “You’re gonna give me exactly what my body needs ‘til I explode inside of you, aren’t ya?”

You were starting to feel breathless as you nodded. “Yes, yes I am.” His fingers gripped onto your hips harder. “Yes.”

“Yes.” He repeated, jutting his hips up into you with more power.

He used his hold on your hips to bring you down faster. You acknowledged within yourself that you weren’t on the verge of getting your breath back in a substantial way. But you didn’t mind, there were too many positive sensations to overshadow that mild discomfort.

He controlled how fast and hard you moved, keeping you fucking yourself on his cock. The relentless jackhammering was having a growing affect on you, stealing some of your attention away from just caring about his climax. You noticed heat moving back into areas of your body that had hardly had a chance to cool.

“Oh, fuck yes. Yes.” He panted, just as short on breath as you were.

He lifted himself up a little more, close enough that he could wrap an arm around your waist. You rested a hand on his shoulder, putting all of your effort into keeping up with him.

Your bodies grinded on one another, a new source of friction. His thrusts were shorter, allowing him to get even faster. You saw the pleasure dominating him, a shift in his appearance. The anticipation of his release was so clear, you were certain that you knew what he was feeling. Being this close, you weren’t missing a single detail - so invested that his experience felt like yours too.

“Fuck, kitten.” He whimpered between ragged breaths.

The effects ran deeper through you and your muscles tightened, trying to prepare yourself for even more impact. Your fingernails pressed into his shoulder as you kept watching him.

When the look on his face changed to something like surprise you knew that he was very close to that edge. You knew the exertion of this quick rhythm was wreaking havoc through him, just as it was for you.

“Uh…” He moaned in time to his next buck into you.

He stayed mostly still, potentially too overwhelmed to move at this moment. But you kept rocking, wanting to enjoy more of the momentum. He wrapped his other arm around you, doing away with the gap between you.

Then you felt the extra rush of heat into your cunt, scored by the whines he greeted his orgasm with. You lessened the power and frequency of your thrusts, your focus going to watching his unfolding reactions. You appreciated the slackness in his jaw as you felt the definitive sensations of him falling apart.

An unexpected release swept through you, as if you had gained a contact high by watching him. You felt yourself letting go and you couldn’t help pleading out his name in response. You stopped moving as you got temporarily lost.

The afterglow engulfed you, the strength of your satisfaction and peace overshadowed everything at once.

It was an unhurried process of coming back into yourself and you still felt like you were floating the whole time. You felt the comfort and security of his arms around you. You had slumped a little against him, but both of you remained mostly upright.

You didn’t have to speak, it wasn’t necessary to reaffirm your connection. Not when you could feel it through every part of you.

It was enough to listen to him refilling his lungs. Thanks to his cock remaining nestled inside of you, you could further track his recovery. You felt the twitches of his shaft and you could guess how far from the peak he was getting.

“Oh, um…” He gasped after flinching into you with more power. “I think I gotta pull out, that’s just too intense.”

You laughed a little as you climbed off of him. “Is that something I need to apologise for?”

“Definitely not, there’s no need for apologies when it comes to that pussy.” He said, making you laugh again.

He sprawled out on his back, getting comfortable as he continued to breathe heavily. You laid down with him, instantly curling into his side because you weren’t through with enjoying this closeness. He encouraged you in, wrapping an arm around you. You were feeling sleepier than before, not even considering reaching for your aftercare ‘menu’.

“How do you feel?” He asked.

“So much better, it’s kind of unbelievable how well that worked.” You said, earning you an extra tight squeeze from him as he clearly approved of your answer. “I was thinking that I would be replaying everything in my head all night and freaking myself out over every decision. But now, it’s like I don’t need to do that. I’ve got you and a roof over my head and I know that’s the only stuff that matters.”

“I thought post-nut clarity was just a guy thing.” He said.

“We don’t have to call it that, we can just call it: you calmed me the fuck down.”

He disrupted your position by sitting up and leaning away. He blew out the candle’s flame. “We didn’t use up too much, so next time you get really stressed out, we can do this all over again.”

“Sounds perfect.” You said. “Do we sleep now?”

“I’m gonna sleep a bit, just so I’m not a grouchy zombie when we meet up with everyone at the airport.” He said.

“I may as well try.” You said. “I don’t wanna be up and making enough noise to disturb you.”

“Wait, wait, wait, we’ve gotta do aftercare.” He said.

“Why? I feel totally fine. We don’t have to peel any wax off of me, it feels like it got completely absorbed into my skin.” You said before demonstrating by running your fingers up your arm. “Ooh, damn, that’s really soft.”

But he didn’t lie down with you again. “It’s not just about doing it when you feel bad after a scene. We have to do it every single time.”

“Alright.” You said and you sat up. “I’ll figure out what I want from the menu while I’m turning the lights and everything off.”

“Sweet.”

You got the little booklet out of your bedside draw, then grabbed your phone and got to your feet. You activated the phone’s flashlight, illuminating your pages of options. Going through the apartment and switching off a few lights could be done with little to no focus, allowing you to properly read the menu.

You had hoped he would have fallen asleep during your absence. But that hadn’t happened - he looked at you expectantly as you came back into the room.

So you told him your choice: playing mobile games together. You had picked this because you had seen him fall asleep during a game before. You wanted him to get as much rest as possible and you hoped this task would get him there. He didn’t try to talk you into a different activity.

You placed yourself back in bed with him. Now the room was only lit by the screen of your phone. There weren’t any notifications via your email to distract you from opening up to Wordle.

He wrapped his arms around you, getting in close again. Both of you spoke quietly as you tried to solve the word game, not speaking over each other or rushing.

The moments of silence that he took to think were getting longer. Just as your eyes remained shut for longer each time you blinked.

Until you simply had to ask: “Are you awake?”

You smiled when you didn’t get any response. Then you placed your mobile phone aside, letting the darkness overtake the room. You carefully readjusted yourself, moving until you could lay your cheek on his bare skin. Listening to his breathing, you began to drift off.

*** *** ***

You felt like you hadn’t stopped talking since getting on this plane. Everyone was curious to get more details after hearing you say that you had quit your job.

So you told the whole thing. You didn’t condense it or try to form a one sentence summary. The retelling was slowed down even more by the questions your audience had - but what were you going to do, order Ethan to listen silently?

Damiano sat with you for the majority of your story, he had all of the details that slipped your mind and he would add extra emphasis to the points he felt had been glossed over too fast. You felt like he helped you tell it better.

And you were met with only acceptance. You were relieved when no one questioned your decisions. You weren’t accused of creating unnecessary drama or overreacting. They all understood your motivation and the unanimous support helped quiet down some of the doubts that wanted to spring up in your head.

Now you were just sitting with Victoria and her girlfriend, Luna. The rest of the team had spread out across the private plane. Some people were sleeping or otherwise enjoying moments of solitude. You had seen Damiano leave for the opposite end of the plane to you. But now you couldn’t see him amongst the other familiar faces (you vowed to yourself that you would go and find him before you tried to get any sleep).

“It’s so fucking punk.” Victoria said, smiling at you. She was sharing the couch with you, lying on her back with her head rested in Luna’s lap. Luna played with her girlfriend’s long hair.

“It really is.” She agreed. “You didn’t shrink yourself down to keep other people happy. I don’t know if I would be brave enough to do anything like that. I hope I would be, but who knows.”

“What do you wanna do with all of this free time you’ve got now?” Victoria asked. “Are you gonna suddenly pick up a million new hobbies?”

You chewed on your bottom lip as you considered your answer, and when you spoke it was in a quieter voice than earlier. “I don’t know and I’m kinda worried.”

“Worried, how come?” She asked.

You propped your elbow up on the back of the couch so you could rest your forehead in your hand. “This is going to sound so stupid, but what if I’m not good at being unemployed? That thought keeps coming into my mind.”

She looked at you with her brow furrowed. “Um… huh?”

“What do you mean?” Luna asked.

“I’m scared that I’m just going to get so bored, having so little to do when we’re at home. And if I don’t have things that can give me that sense of accomplishment and being productive: how is that going to affect my mental health?” You explained.

“Well, who actually defines productivity?” Victoria asked. “It’s your time, girl. You’re the one who decides if it’s well spent or not. But I get it. We had to hustle so hard for so long, it was years of twenty-four-seven working to get this shit off the ground. So when I started getting time to just myself it was hard to switch my brain off, even in my free time I was craving that next accomplishment.

“But I got better at it. Sometimes the accomplishment is catching up on sleep. And sometimes it’s developing a new skill, even if it’s just for you, like rock climbing.”

“You go rock climbing?” You asked, latching onto this surprising information.

“Yeah, just a few times. My sister got us a voucher for a free session last Christmas, and it’s so much fun that we’ve gone back.” She said.

“It’s such a rush.” Luna said.

“Yeah, I bet.”

Victoria’s eyes had lingered on you. “Is that the only thing you’re worried about, sis?”

“No.” You responded unhappily. “What if all of that time together is bad for me and Damiano? I might seriously fucking bug him.”

She pulled a funny face. “I think it’s more likely that he would be the one doing the bugging.”

“Spending more time together has only helped our relationship. The whole long-distance thing was not helping us thrive.” Luna said.

“Totally. We are so much more in sync with each other and we get to make so many amazing memories together.” Victoria said, taking her girlfriend’s hand. “I couldn’t be happier that we get to go everywhere together.”

“I think you guys are gonna love it. He’s always way happier when he isn’t missing you.” Luna said.

“One thousand percent.” Victoria said.

As she started to sit up you noticed that she and Luna were no longer looking at you. Each of them were fixed at something behind you, which was taller than you currently were. They were both wearing smiles that were broader than before.

You looked over your shoulder, needing to find the source of their amusement. It was Damiano and you too smiled when you saw what he was carrying in his hands. On top of a wide plate was a big cake, which he presented to you.

“Welcome to the touring crew, baby.” He said.

Laid out on the frosting across the top of the cake was an image: the album art of Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5. With thick red icing, someone had drawn an X through this. In the same icing, one word was written: congratulations.

Your mouth was hanging open as you looked up at him. “What is this?”

“We’re celebrating your new chapter.” He said.

Thomas, from behind Damiano, gestured with his hand. “It’s your Unemployed Era, ‘cause fuck capitalism.”

“When did you have the time to do this?” You asked, still so dumbfounded.

“Remember how Gianna was late today?” He asked in reference to an assistant. “In fact, she was the last one to get to the airport, yeah? ‘Cause she went to a bakery we had gotten in touch with, picking up this cake.”

You glanced over at Gianna, she smiled. “What, there was a bakery open? But it was so early.”

“Bakers usually start at about four in the morning.” Ethan contributed from a close by seat. “Even if the bakery doesn’t open until quote-unquote normal business hours. They have to get so much fresh stock ready that they’re always there early.”

“Yep, so we could pull this whole thing off.” Damiano said proudly. “It’s strawberry with vanilla icing. And the album cover is edible.”

“We get to eat Dolly?” Victoria asked.

You accepted the cake from him, resting the plate on your lap. Your heart felt very full as you looked around at this group of people. “Thank you so much everyone. This is really, incredibly sweet.”

“And it’s about to get sweeter.” Damiano said, reaching behind himself to take something from Thomas. This was instantly revealed to be a bottle of champagne. “I finally got you champagne, baby.”

“Yay!”

Gianna started to supply everyone with plastic cups and plates. Everyone looked so happy, it felt like a genuine celebration. You didn’t see any reason why you shouldn’t be just as chipper.

You were provided with a knife to cut the cake, just like it was your birthday. Damiano demanded to take photos of you with the cake before you cut into it. Once it had been cut into, it was taken so someone else could evenly distribute the slices.

Damiano sat next to you, asking if you liked the cake and had you suspected that he was up to anything. You thanked him repeatedly and gave him a couple of kisses.

“Are you ready for your new chapter?” He asked.

You nodded, continuing to feel the swell of positive energy all around you. “Yeah, I think I am.”

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[kamiversee]

What happened D: u can vent to us if you want/are comfortable. We are here for you 🫂 ❤️

Answering this bc a few were curious abt my breakup & I just never really replied to a lot of my asks because I was feeling down but I’ll explain in this post & this post only :3

Basically… he’s gay.

Guys I wish I was joking but I’m so serious 😭

When the guy I was dating broke things off with me, he said he wasn’t too sure of his sexuality anymore & didn’t wanna string me along any further (despite already doing so?) so he ended things there.

At first, I really didn’t care too much that the relationship ended because I thought he and I could remain as friends & be fine but the next day, my heart just started to feel heavy & I felt like shit for so many reasons…

I couldn’t sleep properly, I barely ate, & I couldn’t even bring myself to write. I believe I felt this way because the relationship ended so fucking abruptly & there was nothing I could do about it. We only dated for a month or so but I had finally allowed myself to like someone & feel for someone genuinely for the first time in a while.

& to make it worse, the day before he broke up w me, he & I literally talked about how I had this bad feeling and was feeling anxious abt our relationship. At the time, he reassured me & said we’d work through anything together but then there he was 24hrs later telling me he’s not sexually or romantically attracted to women anymore— something we can’t exactly work through at all…

As such, I was in a bit of a slump since then but thanks to my friends & some time to myself, I’ve been able to move on from it. I’m still recovering from it in a way, though. Like, my trust issues are gonna be issuing after tht iykwim 💀

Either way, I feel back to myself as of rn & I have him blocked for reasons beyond just our breakup (He’s also an inconsiderate asshole & a weirdo of a person so uh, yeah!).

Anyyyywho, I’m doing just fine now so ty guys for any & all concern! I appreciate it dearly ^.^

Apologies for yapping

[tf2-headcanons-anonymous]

could you pls do how the different mercs would comfort masc y/n after a rough day?? 🥺💖

Hard day

How the mercs would comfort masc!y/n after a rough day

Slight swear warning. Mentions of alcohol and smoking

Scout

Would literally just start talking about you like he talks about himself

"Are ya kiddin' me, man? You're like the coolest guy in the world besides me!"

Let's you hold his bat, only for a few seconds though.

Plays baseball or catch with you, or videogames if it's too hot or too cold out.

"If anyone talks bad about ya, I'll frickin' kill 'em. Don't listen to a word any other idiot says,"

Soldier

Not very good at comfort simply because of how loud he is.

"EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY, MAGGOT" And similar things.

Will hug you if you ask, but it is the tightest hug you will ever experience, it's almost painful.

He'll refrain from yelling at you before and after missions for a while, even though he hardly means anything he says anyway.

Gets angry if you talk bad about yourself even for a second and will aggressively yell at you. "DON"T YOU DARE TALK BAD ABOUT MY SOLDIER!"

Pyro

Surprisingly wholesome, very caring.

Will cover you and your gear in stickers and put colorful Band-Aids over any wounds or scars.

Basically forces you to hold his unicorn plushie.

Hugs. So many hugs. Literally clings to you until you feel better.

Watches cartoons with you with a pillow fort and snacks.

Demoman

Alcohol fixes all of his problems, it will surely fix yours, right?

The best of drinking buddies, downs bottle after bottle until you both black out.

He somehow wakes up before you and immediately realizes you're going to have a hangover.

"Ah, damn. Your head hurts, doesn't it. Let me help ya."

He helps you deal with your hangover and stays with you until you feel better.

"Don't be drinkin like that without me, alright?"

Heavy

He doesn't really know exactly what to do but is determined to try his best.

"What is wrong, Мой друг?" (My friend)

Gives the best hugs in the worlds, not to tight, surprisingly.

Cooks for you. Any kind of comfort food or even some Russian dish his mother made for him as a kid.

He'll listen to you vent for as long as you need. He's not great at advice, but he'll gladly listen.

Engineer

The definition of father figure

"C'mon, you're tellin' me what's wrong with ya.

He'll let you vent to him, giving you reassurance and advice if you need it.

Checks on you throughout the day, making sure you've had enough food and water.

If you happen to skip a meal, he will cook something for you and sit with you until you finish your plate.

Medic

He notice's something's wrong immediately, he knows how you act.

Brings you to the infirmary room/his office and waits for you to tell him what's wrong.

"Come on, Mein Liebling (My darling/dear) You can tell me vhats vrong" he says as he gently takes your hand into his.

He doesn't force anything, but gladly listens once you choose to tell him.

He lets you sit in his office for as long as you need, bringing you water and food when you need it.

He even lets you stay in there during experiments or surgeries, he doesn't care.

Sniper

Quiet guy, happy to listen.

He's very observant, so he immediately notices when you seem off.

He listens to you without saying a word, letting you pause whenever you need to.

"Listen to me, mate. I know things might be a little tough lately, but it gets better. You can come to me whenever you need to."

He'll let you hug him for once if you really need it. He's not super happy about it, but anything to make you feel better.

Spy

He's... not the best at comfort.

He's confused why you went to him of all people, but he cares too much to send you away even if he doesn't admit it.

Buys you something he knows you want, or just something that he knows will bring you comfort.

He'll let you smoke with him if you already do, but absolutely will not let you even look at a cigarette if you don't

Begrudgingly lets you hug him but doesn't hug back.

Sorry this took so long, I've been really busy the past few days.

I also apologize for any grammar errors; I'm writing this at two am and I'm too lazy to go back and look over it.

I hope this brings you some kind of comfort though.

And please don't drink or smoke as a coping mechanism, there are people who can help. There are so many other ways to feel better. You can even DM me if you need to.

[petitelepus]

So, I've been seeing these kny match ups and naturally in curious about mine cough um4. So I guess, I just put up the type of paring I want and go from there.

Here's all about spife for a yandere/romantic match up (my gender preference for a partner is men):

I'm a rather positive person, who has no time to spare for those who wish to put me down. Although, at first it may seem like I'm revealing too much (which I sometimes do) I have my fair share of secrets and allow myself to be vulnerable with only those I trust– I tend to shrink back into my little shy hole if I think I'm too much. I like complimenting people, like to remind them to not put themselves down and be kind to themselves even if they make mistakes. I also like helping people because it makes me happy to see people happy (especially those who need to vent, I'm willing to listen and be the shoulder to cry on, even if I'm a complete stranger). However, I am also very emotionally sensitive (I get the urge to cry if someone I really like yells at me or lectures me about something I find funny even if they're trying to help as they make me realise I'm embarrassing or have embarrassed myself). I am assertive when I need to be, although in a calm and composed manner (I lose my temper when I'm frustrated though I think I do well under some pressure). I possess a strong sense of justice and FIRMLY believe in fairness for all and (usually) when I engage in deep conversations with my friends, I tend to pity those who suffer of the cruelty in the world and criticise those in power who choose to do nothing aka corruption. I am a FIRM believer that strength must be used to protect and help others and that people must have an open ear for the broken and hurt (I cry when people cry or for those who are misfortune and end up praying for them at times though very rarely). I am also quite lighthearted, though. I can laugh at myself if I make a mistake and will bring up the memory for fun times. And useless fact, I am a sweet tooth. In general, I'm a sensitive, introverted ray of sunshine who also will uphold their beliefs no matter what anyone says and despite the fact that I tend to be too lenient, I will almost always end up confronting someone. In general, I have been taught by my mother to always be kind to others because you don't know what they could be going though.

That was long. I'm curious to see who I get! Have a nice day (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ

Hantengu is Yandere for you!

Hantengu was scared of you when you first met, but despite being a Demon, you showed him the benefit of the doubt because of how frail and pathetic he was to even look at.

He could deduce that you didn't see him as a threat, not yet anyway, no, you seemed to pity him. The moment Hantengu realized this, he knew he could manipulate you as much as he desired.

He makes you believe that nothing is his fault, that it wasn't his fault he was a Demon, or that he had to kill and eat people to live… And you believe him, because of what your mother said about not knowing what others have gone through.

Oh, you're such a Saint, surely you would pity poor innocent Hantengu! He hasn't done anything wrong, he swears, but people still bully and torment him!

Hearing him wail and cry and seeing him tremble so hard his teeth are clattering, they make you cry for his sake and they activate that protective nature of yours and that is exactly what the Demon aims for.

But Hantengu didn't expect to grow so fond of you. Normally he would eat anyone in your position, but you are strong, not some normal human, and he could use another bodyguard.

…But he falls for you and your chivalrousness, only when Hantengu falls for someone, he will become obsessed with them.

He has to know where you are and what you are doing every single second of the day. If you are gone too long or he doesn't know where you are, he starts to cry so hard and call out for you.

You think you must protect him when it might just be you who actually needs protection.

You're so sweet, he fears that other people might take advantage of that kindness of yours. Just like he does, but he is different! He loves you! What's their excuse!?

You're stunned when you first time meet his clones, and you can tell they are strong. That's when you start to realize that maybe there was more to Hantengu than you thought yet you still stay because they won't let you leave.

Sekido has to be careful around you because he has a tendency to snap at things, but he is obsessed with you just like Hantengu, and doesn't want to scare you off. He will tell you that you trust too easily, but when you ask what he means by that, he goes silent.

Karaku loves seeing and spending time with you. He is the most laid-back clone, but he loves having a good time and highly enjoys teasing you. You're just so cute when you get flustered, he could eat you up!

Aizetsu is probably the only one who feels awful about tricking you into becoming their own personal human, but he doesn't do anything to fix or make things better for you. In the end, he loves you also and doesn't want to let you go.

Urogi thinks it's hilarious how you actually believe Hantengu's innocence, but even Hantengu believes so also; so in the end you are both way too gullible. That works for him though.

The point is, Hantengu won't let you go and if it's a fight someone may want, his clones are there to protect him and his special bond with you.

I match you with Gyomei Himejima!

The Stone Hashira could sense you before he could "see" you. You radiated this brilliant, genuine, kind, and courageous aura, it nearly left him speechless.

He is happy to meet you and is crying in a matter of seconds, stating that he can "see" your "strength", whatever he meant by that. The two of you hit it off immediately and grow a strong bond of kindness and respect for each other.

You take an immediate liking to Gyomei, and you may feel like you need to take care of or help him because of his blindness, but he assures you that he can "see" fine on his own and how things had been that way since his childhood.

That doesn't help and it makes you cry, knowing how hard life must have been for him. The Hashira chooses not to tell you about the actual sadness and hardships he had to endure because he doesn't want you to cry anymore. If you cry, he might start crying too. This does happen daily.

You don't hold secrets from Gyomei and he feels honored that you trust him so much that you are willing to share so much about yourself with him. He makes small mental notes here and there to remember later, like your favorite book or what sweets you like most so he knows to get you some while he is out there hunting Demons.

Gyomei admires your strong sense of justice and how you want to see the best in everyone and everything... But this can make you gullible and he warns you about it.

You may get a little upset by his remark, but he just wants you to look out for yourself also and think of yourself sometimes first. You are still a human and not a Demon so you can get hurt badly or die even and he wouldn't know what to do if something like that happened to you. He doubts that he could ever heal from that.

He wants you to stay safe, but you want to protect people like he does and he knows he can't change your mind about it... So he makes a humble request to Master to let him accompany you on your missions when he doesn't have any.

This means Gyomei doesn't have much free time, but every moment spent with you is even better than those moments alone in his manor. He loves to hear how you describe things to him and how you laugh at the silliest things.

A day doesn't pass when Gyomei doesn't thank God for lowering you on Earth. He loves you that much and wants to spend as much time with you as possible.

[covetedbrother]

most days i’m like “yeah i’m pretty over my ‘sam is me i’m him we are the same and he’s also my bbg my son and my dad’ phase” and then i see one (1) bad take about him and i genuinely get murderous and i’m like “ah. nevermind”

what the fuck has he ever done????

(insane samgirl ramblings under the cut bc i’m losing my fucking mind)

if you’re mad at sam for starting the apocalypse: you’re telling me that if you were dealing with the effects of dying, watching your brother die, addiction, and actively being manipulated by your DEALER and also genuinely operating under the belief that that killing a demon would be a good thing, that you wouldn’t have killed that demon?

this bothers me especially bc sam broke seal 66. because he thought it would prevent the apocalypse. dean broke the first seal. because he tortured ppl in hell!!!!!

leaving for college: imagine getting mad at an 18 year old for leaving to go to stanford on a full ride scholarship. he did that in a “household” where he never lived in the same place for more than 6 months. ever. and his only family members thought it was emasculating to do well in school.

“choosing ruby over dean”: hey. hey. look at me. imagine the person you love most in the world. that you have a toxic codependent relationship with to the point of literally getting murderous if you are separated by more than a room without your choice. you’ve known each other for forever. you’ve killed for him. he’s your brother. you have spent a full year trying to figure out how to save his life. now imagine watching him die knowing he did it to save you. and you can’t get him back. now you are actively suicidal and someone comes along and acts almost just like him and offers you this thing that gives you the power to kill the things that killed him. this person says that you have the power to stop a horrible thing from happening. you believe her. and then your brother comes back from the dead and he’s. different. he doesn’t trust you anymore. and the person who gave you power tells you that it’s because he’s being lied to and manipulated to start the tragedy you are bent on preventing. so you’re hurt and scared and trying to save the world so, just this once, you choose to work with someone other than him.

the shit that happened in s8: again. same scenario as above but now you’ve both killed and died for each other multiple times. you’ve endured over centuries of torture by the devil himself and have just started recovering from the hallucinations that you had of the literal devil torturing you and telling you that you can never feel happy bc this is just another way of torturing you. making you feel happy for a moment only to bring you back and hurt you. then your brother disappears into a pile of black goo in front of you. you have no idea how or why. you do months of research and come up with exactly nothing. life without him isn’t worth living. you’re about to drive your car off a bridge. the car you grew up with him in, the one you both engraved your initials into when you were 8 and 10. with the legos shoved into the vents that you’ve never been able to take out. you’re not paying attention so you hit a dog. shit. he doesn’t deserve to die. not like you. you take him to the vet. his medical bills need to be covered by someone. it can only be you. the vet there treats you like you deserve to live, to be loved. you fall for her. you move in together and adopt the dog you hit. maybe,,,, just maybe,,, you can be happy.

and then your brother comes back. and he’s best friends with a vampire… the vampire’s name sounds like yours.

and your brother is mad at you. then your girlfriend discovers the husband she thought was dead is alive. your brother wanted you to break up with her anyways. you’d do anything for him. always. he doesn’t forgive you. it’s what you deserve.

you take on the trials of hell to try and do something right. it’s actively killing you. every day you wake up and cough lungfuls of blood into the sink. it’s fine. these trials will probably kill you, but it’ll be ok. you’re finally doing something right. the final trial requires you to confess your greatest sins in a church. you spend hours there, and the biggest sin you confess is disobeying your brother. you confess the times you’ve let him down. you’re clean now. you’re ready to die, ready to stop any demon from ever coming to earth again. and your brother calls you an idiot and stops you because he doesn’t want to watch you die. but by now, your body is going to die with or without completing the trials. your brother coerces you into being possessed without your knowledge for a year in order to keep you alive. the thing possessing you kills your friend. your brother blames you for it. it’s fine. he cares. you know he does. he wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t care.

it never. ends. THERE ARE FIFTEEN FUCKING SEASONS OF THIS SHIT

ARE YOU MAD AT HIM FOR TRYING TO GET DEAN TO NOT BE AN ALCOHOLIC? TO EAT BETTER?

MAYBE YOU’RE MAD AT HIM FOR THINKING THAT THE PERSON WHO MADE FUN OF YOU FOR DOING WELL IN SCHOOL WOULDNT KNOW WHO VONNEGUT IS?

FOR NOT FALLING TO HIS KNEES AND WORSHIPPING DEAN EVERY TIME HE ENTERS THE ROOM?

are you mad at him for forgiving his father?

maybe you’re mad because dean had bad things happen to him that didn’t happen to sam.

are you mad at the man who got into stanford on a full ride scholarship and was about to get into law school before he dropped out for thinking of himself as smart?

i think they’re mad at him bc he’s not a perfect brother who gives into dean’s codependent tendencies 100% of the time. dean has a codependent personality, and sam has a rebellious streak of independence a mile wide. his rebellion just looked like choosing school over hunting, or studying over weapon training, or reading over sparring. not that he didn’t also do those things, he just also did other things.

[coolfire333]

Gender venting/introspection posting

Something about being online (therefore being faceless/voiceless) gives me a certain ambiguous gender that I'll never achieve irl. I cannot medically transition because I don't want to fully masculinize myself and therefore give up any chance of being able to be read as female when I want to be but that also means I straight up don't pass as male.

I mean when in really heavily dysphoric boymode I bind and try to wear masculine clothes, plus my hair is shorter now, but I honestly still probably just look like a tomboy girl.

There aren't really clothes that are "forbidden" for girls to wear (for example if a man wears a dress it immediately brings up a question of gender and "correct" presentation whereas a woman wearing a suit is nearly normalized) so I cannot wear something that immediately signals to people like "hey I just look like a woman but I am a man" which just sucks

I just cannot explain my gender to people because yeah I'm not exactly cis because I'm bigender but I'm not really trans either because I'm still a girl and on top of that I'm not transitioning medically so I'm not going anywhere.

Yeah I have two different name and pronoun sets but nobody has any idea when I want one to be used over the other unless I directly tell them (again going back to the point that there aren't "boy clothes" that are "forbidden" for girls to wear so much as there are "girl clothes" that are "forbidden" for boys to wear)

People who don't medically transition are a-ok to me but my attitude towards myself is just...I'm not even fully changing my name or pronouns I'm just kinda like...adding stuff on top of what's already there and maybe slightly changing the way I dress but to me it's hardly anything compared to my friends who are "full-on trans" (binary trans and nonbinary trans) and have changed socially speaking, even if it is just their pronouns that have changed.

I dunno, more people in my friend group have been coming out of the closet as trans and that encourages me to come out as bigender, but at the same time there's just this sinking feeling that people will just not understand me. I don't even fully understand myself and my own sometimes-here-sometimes-gone dysphoria and explaining it to others feels like I'm just begging to be made fun of.

There's also the special kind of torment of not being either male or female...like I'm very happy for my (binary) friends but at the same time there's probably gonna be a point where it's like "wow you are so (gender)" that they'll achieve presentation-wise that just isn't possible for me. At least that'll probably happen to my nonbinary friends too so maybe I can sympathise with them there but man that doesn't make the situation any easier.

Like man if I could just physically change my body back and forth between male and female that'd be great but my worst feelings are telling me that nobody is ever gonna really see me as a real man and when they call me "he" and by my male name they're just humoring some kind of strange delusion I have.

I dunno it's also kind of disheartening because my mom keeps misgendering (in private) my explicitly-trans friends with a singular name and pronoun set and then kind of being like "oops sorry I'm just not used to the new name!"

Like I get it that change is hard when you've known someone a certain way for like forever but it just takes continuous practice like??? Just come on man I love my mom and she's a decent ally in the whole "whatever makes you happy/it's none of my business/people should be allowed to do whatever" sense but please.

Like yesterday she tried comparing it to her favorite sports team changing names and the fact that she still calls them by their old name sometimes but 1. that's not comparable to literally deadnaming/misgendering someone even if it is accidental and 2. SHE LITERALLY CALLS THE SPORTS TEAM BY ITS NEW NAME MORE TIMES THAN SHE CORRECTLY ADDRESSES MULTIPLE OF MY FRIENDS.

Literally have never heard her use the correct name or pronouns for multiple people even once yet it's easier for her to do this when a place/company/brand changes branding like oh my god. Like ok yeah she's old and this is new to her but my god she'll literally get confused about "which way" a fully-out person identifies even if she's never known them before they changed names and/or pronouns.

And I don't even want to know what my dad's views on trans/gnc people are because from what I've seen he's not like a conservative bigot but he really is an ignorant jerk about anyone who isn't perfectly gender-conforming and he'll say the rudest things about anyone who "isn't normal"

Ughhh I just want to crawl back into the closet even further every time this happens like I just do not understand and it's really starting to piss me off.

[nickeverdeen]

:)) can I request some hcs for being Cassie Langs sibling (or sister if you prefer!) please?

Being Cassie Lang’s sibling hcs

It doesn’t matter if Cassie is the younger or older sibling, but she’s super protective of you, especially now that she’s older

You two have a close bond, always finding ways to get into little adventures or mild trouble together

Years of growing up together means you both have tons of inside jokes that no one else gets

Cassie has a huge amount of respect for you, and she often asks for your advice on big decisions

Cassie will defend you no matter what

If anyone messes with you, they’ll have to deal with her

You’ve had silly nicknames for each other since childhood, and they’ve only gotten goofier with time

Cassie loves bragging about you to her friends and family, sharing all your achievements

When it comes to family gatherings, you and Cassie team up to survive the chaos and make it more fun

She’s a great listener and will always offer a shoulder to cry on when you need it

Cassie loves to tease you, just as siblings do, but it’s always lighthearted and affectionate

You both enjoy cozy movie marathons, especially superhero movies, where she might give some funny behind-the-scenes commentary

Growing up with some chaotic times has only made you two closer, and you’ve become inseparable

Cassie’s been through a lot and has an empathetic side, so she always seems to understand your struggles

Sometimes she might show you the cool shrinking tech from her dad, giving you a taste of what it’s like to be part of the Ant-Man world

Cassie has a good head on her shoulders and always seems to know exactly what to say to help you feel better

You’re both notorious for pulling off pranks at family gatherings or on mutual friends, having a blast doing it

Cassie loves having you along for shopping trips, and you both give each other honest opinions

You often have deep, late-night conversations about life, family, and future goals

Cassie won’t hesitate to stand up for you if someone says something out of line about you

You two have a shared playlist with all your favorite songs, from nostalgic throwbacks to new discoveries

Cassie probably “borrows” your clothes without asking (and maybe you do the same)

No matter what, you both trust each other completely and know that the other is always there

You’re each other’s confidants and share things you wouldn’t with anyone else

If things get complicated with family members, you both can vent to each other, knowing the other understands

She’ll playfully tease you about any romantic interests, maybe even try to set you up on dates

You’re both super competitive in games, but it’s all in good fun (most of the time)

Cassie’s always there to pick you up when you’re down, offering words of encouragement and support

If one of you is feeling down, the other knows exactly what comfort food to grab

Cassie often plans little sibling outings, like grabbing coffee, hitting up a movie, or going for a hike

Cassie loves bringing up funny stories from when you were younger, always making you laugh

[roguesnezblog]

Trigger warning - Vent stuff (Suicide, bullying etc.) I am not feeling great. And I'm going to censor everything below if you don't want to read. But this post I wanted to make, one, for my own benefit. mentally, but I also feel like people who are in the same position as me could use an understanding ear. So...

Feeling real horrible. Like I shouldn't exist. To put it bluntly. Making the rounds of depression again. I want to type this out here and will most likely delete this later because being vunerable on the internet is not exactly, sometimes, met with anything good.

I won't go into detail on as to why either, since opening up about things you've done is usually weaponized online too. But lets say this: I have been made to feel, in some online spaces, that, My existance and presense should be eradicated.

I have been treated this way by these people for years. Over 5 years now. I had been bullied, and called horrible things, been witch hunted all the works that online crap can bring. And most people are in agreement, I should get over it by now. Who scares if a few people don't like you, don't want you around them? They have a right to believe that, and it's not like I didn't deserve it.

And I suppose in truth a part of me agrees. I dont expect approval, nor do I expect to be liked, a part of me rationally knows this. Not everyone online is going to be on a sympathetic understanding side of things.

But another part of me creeps back. You see, during this time, when people turned on me violently, for mistakes I've made and regret, I got low. Real low. Suicide low. I figured I was diplorable. Unforgivable. Disgusting. I felt like I should be punished. I did. Yanno. Self harm. A lot.

I figured the world would be better. Easier, if I wasn't in it. They made me believe this.

But I was always in conflict with reality. You see online isn't really half of my life. I have good parents, not perfect, but good. And a family who cares about me, and deep down, I knew if I was gone, if anyone, they would suffer for it.

So ...Suicide wasn't really an option. Not properly.

I had no choice but to endure lots of inflammatory comments, being excluded, distanced, the community (not this one) I wanted to feel a part of, and enjoy a love of drawing was...cruel.

I could rant more about what they did. How much they alienated and hurted me, broke down my character and warped me into this...percieved monster. But theres no point. And yanno I don't want to get into details like I said.

But a part of me still thinks that Im not a victim here. That I deserve it.

It's the rest that feels inconsolable. I don't want to die. I don't want to feel like thats the only option for me. To be erased. And think how much easier it would be for everyone else that I didn't exist.

But I want to be a kind person. I don't want to make people uncomfortable with my presense, or existance.

I shouldn't spare mercy to people who don't care. I know...But it's hard not to think when for your entire life you've been messed up.

Im pretty sure being some kinda autistic or at least neurodivergant doesn't help...(I haven't got diagnosed yet. Being a part of british NHS sucks. It would take me 5 years to get someone to see me. So they told me, and I'm considering private, but that costs 2,000 pounds and...Im scared honestly)

Anyway.

This feeling is often met with apathy, or "just don't think about it" by friends and family, who know somewhat about all this.

But it's hard.

It's heavy.

I just wish forgiveness could be an option. The mistakes I made, I learned from, and have never done again. But it's not enough.

It feels like this unending maw, gaping and cavernous. Swallowing me whole until it leaves nothing but that mistake left. They make it me. It's all I am. My identity. I am a literal monster to them. Something to fear like a boogeyman.

Not a dumb young adult who had no idea what they were doing.

I am nearly 30 now. I regret being stupid. Not knowing things, being ignorant and not just....being more calm at the time, but when people jump on you, you panic.

I have dug this hole. I know that... but it feels like I was forced to.

And the prolonged suffering, it's just....

I was happy for a time. You know? The fear and guilt lifted about a year ago for a while. When I found people who appriecate me, who care and want me around in that community, My confidence for a while was up. And I felt like I COULD exist. Live again, and be in spaces without feeling like I was a leech. I was happy and even talked to people in calls. I didn't have nightmares and I didn't feel like I needed to quit my freelance work.

There was...a couple of incidents, where I let my confidence blind me, approached people who haven't forgiven me, and told me to fuck off.

Which I did, to be fair...like I say: I don't have to be friends with everyone.

But...recently, the community pool has gotten thin. Drama happened (not to do with me, thank fuck, I couldn't deal with that stress I feel terrible for the people who have to endure it.) and spaces that were safe have been deleted. And the people who scorn me are now making a new space for them to pool into.

I've been excluded from that space.

That doesn't bother me, I have friends who will remain by my side. And this kinda happens everyone 6 months or so that people move spaces. But-

It's gut wrenching, to feel safe and forgiven. And then to be reminded that no, infact; You can't escape.

My friends will stay in spaces I feel safe in. And I know really- I'm not gonna loose much. But to be reminded that your existance would rather be purged? It's...not a fun feeling. Not to feel especially due to the struggles I've been facing and facing hard these past few months.

I suppose by writing all this, and saying all this, I just can't help but wonder in this mind space...Is it me? My fault? My brain is the one doing this...I am jumping from: Oh people I don't even like don't want me around? Better go die.

I made the mistake in the end....And this is my punishment. My torment for making a mistake.

It's ridiculous really...I shouldn't be feeling this way. But yet I am....I feel hopeless, empty. Sullen. Like theres no point, like all I feel and have been doing to grow, and move on....it doesn't matter. Because nothing changes.

I'm not sure exactly why Im writing this, or why Im even sharing these feelings, perhaps I just want people to talk to. Much as I love my friends, they get uncomfy talking like this... They can be dismissive and they don't really want to find a solution or confront it. I am just told to "forget it" and such. As I said before. But it doesn't help you know?

Putting this out there, it may make it worse...Which honestly; I fear. People online can look at something like this and use it to try make you worse, or kill yourself. Like....some people really just...get a kick out of making you feel like crap.

Im sure this is a sentiment that a lot of people, a lot of you, understand. It's cruel. Bullying and....I wish it would go away, not just for me, but for all of us....But I also hope a part of this can....maybe help someone?

That...something like this, isn't unusual....(unfortunately) and that some of you out there have been through the same thing...or are currently going through the same thing. And if thats the case...As someone who is feeling it at the current moment I want to say this to you:

You matter. You deserve to exist. You CAN live. And ...so long as you learn from your mistakes...That doesn't make you an evil, or even just a bad, person. You're a good person. You're a good person if you want to be better.

And....for you. I will keep this in mind for myself too. I fucked up. Maybe you did too...But we can be fuck ups together.

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I am not ok, but I think I will be. Admittedly, I could just not post this, but I think theres some value somewhere in this rant. I think it should be heard by some.