#and it's not actually supporting nb people to be like 'well i can misgender them in my head so i'm p sure that means i'm into them'

[tyrannuspitch]

people are always ridiculing the idea of exclusively gay people and nonbinary people having *actual conversations* about gender and orientation to work out if they're compatible, as if attraction that is anything less than instinctive, instantaneous and sharply binary makes a mockery of Real Homosexuality. meanwhile cishet people going on multiple full-on *dates* to work out if they're "really into" each other is the most normal thing in the world

[the-s1lly-corner]

hey, may i request hcs of laughing jack + slenderman x nonbinary, afab!reader who gets misgendered/bullied a lot but is too scared to correct/stand up to ppl? happens to me a lot :[

laughing jack and slenderman x afab!nonbinary!reader

im so so sorry you keep getting treated like dookie- as a fellow afab nb i totally get your pain with the misgendering, people just need to hush up

notes: reader is afab and nonbinary, established relationships, both canon characters have limited knowledge of lgbt topics but thats mostly because they hardly interact with people or media

cws: transphobia, canon typical violence, mentions of stalking

laughing jack

doesnt get to interact with many people much, so hes a little limited on his knowledge- and given that he originally started existing in the Victorian era? hoo boy- hes not transphobic or otherwise lgbtphobic but there is some ignorance

can see himself as using some labels once he gets more educated on it, though! always headcanoned laughing jack to be gnc!

tries to help you appear more androgynous or masculine if thats what you want! he doesnt mind playing dress up with you, and hes definitely going to take it as a moment to turn it into a game and try to cheer you up!

openly mocks the people who bully you, as well as outright saying that theyre just a bunch of jerks who... dont deserve nice things to head their way.. to keep the description vague

similar to slenderman, hes going to go out and get some vengeance if things get ugly enough

he doesnt like going out without you, hes a bit clingy.. but the sight of you being so distraught really makes his insides coil like snakes.. does not like it at all

even tries to push for you to carry him around in his box so he can just jump and slash anyone who says anything- though thats not a very good idea... would give him away quickly

slenderman

he doesnt understand much about gender, and honestly? i can easily see him being agender, or maybe gender apathetic simply due to him not showing interest in his own identity. he rarely wants to be perceived anyway

despite not knowing much about it and not caring how others see him, he can understand just a little bit on why it matters to you- especially when youre seen as something youre not and harassed for it

rest assured that if he ever finds out someone is harassing you, he will silent them quickly. out right offing them or stalking them over a period of time, the result will end in you having one less person on your back... then two.. then three.. and so on

actually the fact that people seem to either go missing or skip town not long after messing with you makes many keep their mouths shut- and before you even think that might prompt someone to harm you under the guise that its YOU doing it, slenderman isnt going to let that happen

he listens to you if you need to talk about your feelings on it, hes unsure of how to verbally help you affirm your gender identity but if you outright ask him how he views you; he tells you that you pass in his eyes regardless of if you present more femininely, masculine, or androgynously.. though that may be because of his aforementioned limited knowledge on the topic... hes supportive nonetheless!

[dysphoric-culture-is]

Not dysphoric culture, sorry, but does mod have any tips on socially transitioning, especially in school? I’m not even out yet, but I like to make plans for what I’m gonna do to make me feel less stuck in the closet, but I’ve only ever really thought about medical transition and don’t really know how to go about socially transitioning. (Afab, nonbinary, want to be perceived as neutral/masculine, if that’s any help)

Don’t apologize anon, mod is here to (try) to give advice!

Mod actually came out at school a couple of years ago (a conservative middle/high school where mod was one of the first publicly out not binary people) so. Here is some stuff.

Support:

Find a good friend group, and ideally also a decent guidance counselor who will not out you before you’re ready

Some fake friends will continue to misgender and deadname you. If this continues for months on end and you keep reminding them, they may not be a real friend

Meet other queer and trans people in your school! Join a GSA/acceptance club if there’s one! Find a trans person in your school that’s older than you and ask them for advice!!

Older trans people in your school can sometimes help you buy gender-affirming products (ex: if they can have it shipped to their house and can use their card, and then you pay them back in cash, for safety reasons etc) or queer merch.

If you want your name and gender marker to be changed in the school’s system you often have to go through the guidance department. Depending on where you live you do not need parental consent for this and do not let the guidance department bully you into it. You shouldn't need a court order either

Google classroom/digitization of education has made life harder for trans students because you will see the wrong name and pronouns listed everywhere. Schools with ID cards have this problem but worse because even if you cover up the name with a sticker, whenever your ID is scanned it will out you. Some places even require students to scan IDs to use the bathroom- a double nightmare for trans students.

Student pictures are cringe. Try to dress as gender-affirming as possible for picture day and remember that you’re likely only being photographed from the shoulders up (chest dysphoria = not your biggest problem)

Not all school systems have a nonbinary marker. Mod’s school pretended not to have one and it took some digging and anxious waiting to get one (mod has since gotten it, is one of the first students in the school’s history to have one, and is spreading resources to other trans and nonbinary students in the school community). For you anon if you can’t get an X/O/N/etc marker you can get a M, which may not be completely accurate but it might make you less dysphoric as compared to a F

Yearbooks might have pre-transition photos of you or even elementary school photos of you so try to speak to someone on the yearbook committee/club about it. Senior year in general can be a nightmare if you’re trans/nb because so many pictures are taken of you and a lot of old photos/letters are dug up

The uncomfortable stuff:

You need to use the bathroom especially if you do after-school activities. This is non-negotiable and far too many trans people (especially transmascs + nonbinary people who were AFAB) get UTIs by avoiding the bathroom all day. Using a public bathroom may be dysphoria inducing but having to see a urologist/gynecologist is much worse. But it’s true that school bathrooms suck! Find one that is the least suck-y (clean, not used very often, ideally gender-neutral) and try to use that one. Not all schools have a gender neutral bathroom, and the ones that do may only have one dirty, single-person bathroom for the entire school (like mod’s). For your case specifically anon if you feel you pass well enough/don’t pass but have enough support at school you can try to use the men’s room. The thing about using the men’s restroom is you have to walk in with confidence (fake confidence is okay too!) and act unbothered.

Mod has never heard of a gender-neutral school locker room, at least below the college level, ever. The good thing is that a lot of students no longer have to change for gym, or that some schools will give nonbinary students the option of changing in the gender neutral bathroom instead. (At mod’s school, their ‘nonbinary inclusive’ policy [which likely did not exist until mod asked about it] is that nonbinary students can choose which gendered locker room they’d like to use! How very inclusive and totally not avoiding the problem! [sarcasm]) You can ask a gym teacher to keep your bag in their office or leave your bag in the gym to avoid the locker rooms.

Your peers:

They might be transphobic, they might be supportive, or they might just not care. Either way they will probably misgender you purely because they knew you pre-transition. Mod has people in school that mod went to elementary school with and many of them are literally the worst. It's a horrible feeling to know that some people will always see you as [deadname and what your AGAB was] even if you 'pass' or correct people. But unless you transfer to another school there is nothing you can do about that.

Just find people who support you, ideally fellow trans people, and ignore those guys.

Transitioning:

You've probably seen a bunch of tips for gender presentation and might have done some already. For masculine/masc-leaning neutral some are: men's clothing, shorter hair, makeup to contour, binding/packing, layered clothing, etc. Some behavioral changes are voice training (do not rely only on T to change your voice if that's your plan!), taking on more masculine speech patterns, walking more confidently, exercising (target certain areas to create a more masculine shape), etc.

The actual coming out part:

Coming out is scary. Friends can encourage you, but you also have to come out to them first.

Most teachers mod has talked to about being queer have been at least polite/tolerant about it. There hasn’t been any outright hostility, but there has been more subtle transphobia. And mod uses neopronouns in a conservative place! The only major issue was when mod sent a teacher an email about mod’s pronouns + nb inclusive curriculum and he sent the email to the principal without asking (wild stuff. He agreed to use they/them for mod, but also denied taking responsibility for his curriculum excluding queer people).

If you want to come out at school but not at home, you can email/talk to your teachers in person and tell them to call you ___ in school and your deadname/wrong pronouns in front of your parents. Some counselors will email your teachers for you if you’re scared of your parents reading your emails/searching your device

You can write your chosen name almost wherever you want! You do not need it changed it the system to use it and especially if you’re writing on paper you can use it.

You are your biggest advocate! You need to get really good at standing up for yourself. Catering to or being nice to transphobes will usually not help you. You will probably need to push people: 'my pronouns are ____' not 'I prefer ____', 'what is the policy on nonbinary students, and if one doesn't exist how are we going to make one' not 'is there a nonbinary policy', 'I will wear the _____ uniform' not 'is it ok for trans people to wear the _____ uniform', 'call me ____' not 'um I have a preferred name and it's ____ is that okay', 'how will you make room for me' not 'can you make room for me' etc. It is not rude to be assertive! Transphobes will call you rude for simply existing in a way they don't like. Make sure to be clear about what you need and don't give them room to evade your requests. Nonbinary students who will come to your school several years from now will thank you.

It’s good that you’re planning ahead for coming out anon because that can make it less overwhelming, but overthinking can also really get you. If planning your coming out (which may or may not happen soon) starts to only stress you out and not give you any joy then you maybe need to take a break.

There's a lot more stuff but this is just a general overview so if you have more specific questions please send in another ask! Good luck anon!

[utilitycaster]

Hi I just wanted to say thank you for putting everything that frustrates me about the fandom’s interpretation of Imogen and Laudna into words. I’ve made a few posts about Imogen’s flaws and how easily she seems to switch loyalties and I’ve been met with so many people telling me I’m not watching the show right or how Imogen isn’t to blame because she’s being controlled by the moon and it’s exhausting. I’ve been wanting to make a post about it but I didn’t know how to phrase it and you articulated pretty everything I’ve been thinking. I’m also planning on writing about the weird misandry in the fandom and how a lot of people don’t like male or male presenting characters if they can’t them their uwu sad white boy of the month and am really interested if you have any thoughts on that. I really hope people aren’t assholes to you about that post❤️ -brjeauregard

Hey! Thank you so much! I'm assuming you're ok going by your handle here since it was a voluntary add to an anon but if you want me to delete this for whatever reason feel free to message me and I will.

Yeah...I'd agree that it's really tiresome how if you actually want to engage with Imogen as an entire character with motivations and flaws, there's this immediate freakout. It's obnoxious that people seem to think all her impatience, grudges, and little snipes and unkindnesses must come from some other source (the gnarlrock, Ruidus); it can't be her cynicism or being cranky due to exhaustion from holding up her psychic barriers; that only makes her more nurturing and empathetic, apparently). Like, there's all these accusations that people have no empathy for Imogen, coming from people who openly would happily throw every other character (sometimes even including Laudna) from the skyship for the crime of having individual motivations different from Imogen's goals, and I'm very over it.

I would love to see more posts about the misandry, tbh. It's a really tricky subject because like...look, in the real world, misogyny is a load-bearing pillar of oppression not just of women, but one of the core underpinnings of homophobia, transphobia, and toxic masculinity as well. What people call misandry irl is, much of the time, either hatred directed on an individual level rather than a systemic one or is actually oppression of men under a different system (eg, transphobia towards trans or gnc men; racism towards men of color, etc). But in fandom, especially on Tumblr which is overwhelmingly female and/or queer, there is this weird hatred towards men (or, as we've seen a bunch with Ashton, masc-leaning nb people) in fiction for no reason other than they are not women. I'm not linking them here so as to not invite weird shit to the doors of my mutuals but I can think of two very good recent posts that touch on this subject, one from a month or so ago about the fandom tendency to reshape characters in their own (often white middle-class queer) image instead of trying to relate to someone not like you; and one from yesterday that does address fandom misandry directly.

It is interesting because it feels like half of the hatred or weird fanon towards male characters comes from a "well I can't make him into a palatable white sadboy" (trying to turn Orym into The Most Tragic when he is just a guy; ignoring Chetney, Fjord, or Scanlan because they don't fit that mold neatly); and the other half comes from hating the character because he can conceivably be treated as a white sadboy even though he's got much more going on (Vax, Percy, Caleb, sometimes Caduceus). Like, there is really no winning. To be fair, there's also no winning for female characters among people with that mindset (see: the entire post that prompted this, in which they must be Good Examples Of Sweet Unproblematic Women who Chastely Kiss, Pinterest Style) or nb characters (will be misgendered in an instant if they do not support the narrative of the fave or interfere with preferred ships).

I think, generally, once people start judging a fictional character, who lives in a gender-equal world with no transphobia, primarily on the basis of gender, it just turns into a slippery slope of kind of hating every character. I do want to see interesting women in fiction! Part of why I watch actual play is because it is a still relatively rare case where many of the originators of these characters are women who are granted nigh-total creative control over their characters! But I'm not going to write off a character with a personality that speaks to me simply because our genders don't match; that's not interesting to me and it feels far too close to gender essentialism for my comfort. And if you do for whatever reason want to watch actual play that only has female PCs, that is your choice to make...but you then need to find that show instead of being mad that there are men on the show with five men and three women in the main cast.

[multiversallyy]

hhhhrfg I was bored.

Sun/Moon react to a trans Y/N coming out! (Headcanons, platonic)

White is an NPC, orange is Sun, purple is Moon, green is reader

Sun:

- "... You're a trans what now?"

- doesn't understand at first, but when you explain it to him, he's very accepting

- (Reader is FTM) "Well, I think you make a VERY handsome boy!" But like, in a parental way. Changes all his compliments to masc or neutral for you, and just like with transfem, gets SO excited when you express yourself. Even if it's just wearing a slightly more masc outfit, or layered to hide your chest. He notices your effort and says you look great today!

- (Reader is MTF) Gasps in delight. Tells you that you should go clothes shopping and that you'd look AMAZING in a dress. Bonus points if you actually come the next day wearing feminine clothes, he'd congratulate you for being yourself. "Pretty, pretty, pretty! You look great in that! It fits you, Y/N!"

- (Reader is nonbinary) "So you're not a boy OR a girl? I've never met anyone like that!" Thinks it's really cool, loves your outfit and gender expression. Bonus points if you use neopronouns, he uses them AND loves them.

- (All) Sunny corrects any kids who comments on you using your deadname or misgendering you with a gentle scolding and encourages practice using your new name and pronouns.

- "Now, now, kids! You all know Y/N (is a (boy/girl/isn't a boy or girl)! Let's practice using Y/N's name to help (him/her/them) feel more at home here!"

Moon:

- didn't understand either, but was also accepting despite that.

- But because he's built to protect, he hates seeing anyone deadname or misgender you, especially if on purpose. Passive aggressively corrects the person if they are, otherwise that's on you to correct them.

- (Reader is FTM) "She didn't do her job properly, Moon." "... I happen to think he did his job just fine." Angry little man. | Doesn't care if you pass or not, you're a dude. Plain and simple. What he also doesn't understand is why some people can't accept when they're told that you're male now.

- (Reader is MTF) Transphobic comments about Y/N 'endangering the women's spaces' in the Pizzaplex get firmly met with disapproval from him; not like he can properly deal with the person unless they were stupid enough to step inside the daycare at night time, but he'll comfort you afterwards and tell you that you belong there, and not to listen to them.

- (Reader is NB) Might actually result in you and Moon getting closer, because he doesn't have a grasp on gender either, especially his own. He never thought he'd meet someone that felt the same. | "So it's okay to... Not be either?" "Yeah!"

- (All) Moon is very quiet, and not passionate about the subject; but his main focus is protection, which means trying to support you through the piles and piles of transphobic garbage.

[mlm-mod-taka]

Hey mod taka! I really like your blog and I saw your other coming out posts so if it's ok,may I ask for Hajime and Leon with a s/o coming out as non-binary? Thanks :]

Also can i be 🍯 anon?

COMING OUT • leon, hajime x nb reader

of course, 🍯 anon. thank you, and welcome to the class! i got my first leon request- im not the best with writing him, so do forgive me if its a little out of character. i hope you like these!

tws/cws: mentions of misgendering & deadnaming.

|| -> mod taka <3

"woah, really? thats great, man! oh- my bad- uh... thats great, homie! ive heard of this non binary stuff before, and it sounds really cool. i 100% support you!"

if you two dated before you came out as enby, he'll start calling you his significant other, rather than the gendered terms, to make you more comfortable.

once he learns what your pronouns are, and why people put them in their bios, he'll edit all his socials to have his pronouns in them. definitely also tries his best to correct himself when he calls you the wrong pronouns. he'll get used to it after a week or two, just bear with him for a little while he learns.

you want to be called a new name? you bet. this is the same with your pronouns, it'll take him a small while to get used to it, but once he does, he never calls you your previous names/pronouns again.

if you want a new name but don't know what to call yourself, he'll brainstorm names with you. suggests names like "bee, cotton, lou, skylar, aspen, maya, etc. etc..." tries his best to come up with gender neutral names for you.

while he's not the best with style, he will also offer his help if you want to go shopping for some more androgynous clothing. leon knows quite a bit about certain shops, so he would gladly help you out with your new closet!

helps you collect and edit documents for you to legally have your pronouns, name, and gender changed. he'll have a small notepad of things that you should update after you change your name. on this list is credit cards, drivers license, bank account, passport, so on and so forth.

if anyone uses the wrong pronouns or uses the wrong name, he'll gets very defensive and annoyed quickly. most of the time, its just a misunderstanding and the person is supportive as well, but in the rare cases where its a jerk, you'll practically have to tie him up and drag him away before he beats them up beyond recognition.

in conclusion, he's very very supportive, so can and will fight anyone who isn't. doesn't disrespect your pronouns, identity, or your new name. he loves you no matter what you are, and it really does show.

doesn't really have much of a reaction other than a smile. he doesn't think about you differently, and he sort of got the feeling that you are something like that, so its not a surprise to him.

says thank you for trusting him, and telling him about that, then he continues eating his lunch, looking over at his phone every once in awhile.

you were a little sad that he reacted like that, hoping that he wouldn't just ignore what you said and actually acknowledged your pronouns, and he does.

in a slight surprise, he instantly started using they/them for you, and never accidentally used your past ones again. he didn't have much trouble changing, in all honesty.

he doesn't know much about non binary folk other than the basic, common knowledge. he watches some youtubw documentaries and interviews with other nb people, to try and see what you're feeling.

granted, he knows that not every enby person is the same, but he just wants to feel more connected and understanding with you, you are his lover, after all.

is one of those people that show you whenever he finds a non binary person on a tv show, video game, movie or anime. he just looks so happy to show you that you're starting to have representation, that you get happy too.

will help you research for any doctors/hospitals if you ever want any surgeries. also looks up some prices for it, willing to give you a hand with the money needed.

whenever pride month comes along, he'll give you a present at the beginning of the month. its almost always a wearable accesory with your flags on it, but every once in awhile he'll give you a full flag/subtly themed shirt with your identities.

if anyone disrespects you, he'll fight for a small while, before deciding that its a waste of time, and carries both of you away. he'll simply report them to the schools principle and carry on with your guys' lives.

doesn't treat you any differently. it truly doesn't matter to him, as long as you are being you, and you're generally happy, then he couldn't ask for more.

[justmenoworries]

Overall, what would you say are the positives + negatives of fukakai na boku no subete o?

Positives:

good, explicit lgbt+ - representation, no othering, villainizing or baiting. everyone in the cast is non-straight or non-cis in some manner and it's never just left up to interpretation or merely hinted at.

proactive nb-protag who is not in need of "saving" by a straight person, but does have a loving support network

characters have realistic flaws that are addressed and worked through in an empathetic, also realistic manner

actively addresses a lot of the bigoted tropes and "jokes" sadly found in manga/anime to this day, for example slurs and "gay panic"-jokes, as well as the whole "make lgbt+ - people as weird/creepy/ugly as possible"-trope and even discusses why things like that are harmful and need to stop, because they color the perception many a person has on lgbt+ people

very in-depth discussions about gender identity and the topic of being non-binary, as well as why being misgendered is so hurtful and harmful for trans-people and how much it can mentally destroy them to be forced into a gender they're not comfortable with

internalized homophobia is also a topic and holy sh*t is the author good at showing just how much a homophobic, traditionlist environment can f*ck you up if you're lgbt+ yourself

deconstruction of gender norms and how the older generations often struggle with gender-nonconformity, especially if someone they know (like their child) is gender-nonconforming

Negatives:

A really uncomfortable insistence that lgbt+ people have to be understanding and kind to people who abuse them. many arcs that deal with prejuidice are resolved by the perpetrator's hands being held, while the victim gently tells them that "being bigoted bad". which i wouldn't mind if it wasn't the only way conflict is resolved in this series. people are never called out for acting scummy or if they are, they just have to start crying or make a sad face and all is forgiven and forgotten, apparently. i won't lie this gave me SU-flashbacks

the whole mess with kotone's initial behavior. there's a scene in which kotnone physically and verbally assaults tetsu out of jealousy over him dating mogumo, the latter of which she's had a crush on for a long while. the incident obviously leaves a mark on tetsu, to the point where he has flashbacks to it and visibly flinches when he's reminded of the incident or kotone, but it's just... never addressed? the way it played out i thought for sure they would turn this into an arc about how abuse female on male is just a serious as abuse male on female and how the way female abusers are often protrayed as "empowered" is hurting male abuse victims who might be recognizing their own situation. but, nope, no one ever finds out kotone did this and tetsu never tells anybody about the assault. the arc just does a wild swerve to focus on how bad kotone feels instead. it honestly left a really bad taste in my mouth

the final arc about mogumo reconnecting with their abusive family is just... the worst. first we have sakura, mogumo's little sister, who treats them like dirt and regularly guilt-trips and gaslights them about the abuse they suffered at home, because they had the audacity to want to be themselves. she does things like painfully pull mogumo's hairpins out, make them treat her without asking first and show up at their apartment uninvited to ramp up the abuse. as with tetsu and kotone, this is never addressed after the obligatory crocodile tears-scene in which mogumo gets hurt because sakura keeps acting like a ghoul and sakura feels oh-so-sorry because her bullying actually had consequences this time. we have mogumo's father who is just dripping toxic masculinity and tries to force them into conforming without even trying to understand them and is largely responsible for mogumo's body dysphoria. mogumo does call him out, but this is portrayed as "the wrong way" to resolve the issue, with mogumo instead having to explain at length why their father abusing them hurt them and the dad basically going "well i never thought of it that way, i am magically no longer a dick now". and last but not least we have mogumo's mom, who never did sh*t to help her children when her husband tried to force them into roles they were not comfortable with and instead conveniently developed depression, so the manga could have a good excuse for her being a coward and an enabler. mogumo is made to forgive all of them at the end of the manga and they never get a proper apology from them for everything they had to endure. it made me sick seeing this. mogumo's family does not desrve them or any kind of pity

[drukhari]

Hey king, I was wondering if I could ask for your advice. I'm nb and still living w my family, not in a position to move out rn for a bunch of reasons, and honestly I miss being around queer people and feeling slightly less Other ya know? Don't really have people at home to call me by my chosen name or the right pronouns and it gets hard (I have brought it up and corrected them a fair few times, minimal effort is made which I've called them out on too). Not a fun situation to be in but any advice on how to make it any less shitty? Also sort of related but seeing you existing as an nb adult is lowkey a lifesaver. You're one of two nb people I look up to a lot and want to be more like

I'm really glad that I can have that kind of positive impact - and I will say that I've been honestly surprised at how many people I've encountered like at work or just out and about who have been supportive, it wasn't at all what I was expecting. Like, seeing older colleagues using the correct pronouns for me in emails, team members putting their pronouns in their email signatures after I came out and started doing it...just little things like that really do make such a difference. I just wanted to put that out there so you and anyone else reading this who may be worried about what it's like being an out and proud nb adult might be able to breathe a little easier, it's not all bad by any means and people may surprise you in the long run.

As far as suggestions to make the situation at home a bit less shit, I can absolutely understand that it's really frustrating having to have that conversation over and over again, and seeing only minimal effort from them in actually changing when this is something that is super important to you is hard. I'm so sorry you're going through that 😔 Since the living situation isn't something you can change at the moment, most of what I'd recommend is more stuff that you can do for yourself to help offset it.

I know that for me I always try to surround myself as much as possible with things that feel affirming, because while my parents are supportive they both absolutely still misgender me with pronoun use (though they are slowly getting better at at least dropping the use of any kind of terminology that is associated with femininity/womanhood for me). Whether it's changing up my wardrobe so it's full of outfits that help me feel that gender euphoria, playing video games that let me create my own character and that don't lean heavily into cissexist gender roles (not gonna lie - just being called "good hunter" in bloodborne always felt so gender affirming like goddamn) or just having places that I enjoy walking/biking to where I can zone out, listen to some favorite tunes and feel completely at home in the universe (that last one in particular helps ground me again when physical and social dysphoria decide to hit at once, it's just like slamming a reset button on my brain for a bit).

I also definitely spent a lot of time finding communities online with other trans people. Even if I wasn't always totally comfortable being social, it allows me to always be able to touch base and at least see that there are other people out there who do get it, who experience the same things I do, and who do fully accept and support me in my own identity. While it doesn't fully take away the sting every time a family member misgenders me, it helps shore up my inner defenses so that I can feel like no matter what anyone else says, I know full well who I am and their mistakes are on them, not an indicator of anything I'm doing wrong when it comes to being me.

I hope some of this helps anon. Things won't always be as shitty as they are now, and you'll look back some day down the road and be proud of yourself for having the strength to get through this period in your life 🧡👍

[fansofvow]

im here to clear up some things.

edit: just scroll to the bottom for the tl;dr cause this is a lot but i think its necessary so it doesnt seem half assed or glossed over.

if you can’t tell by the perpetual lowercase here, its mod galen! i figured i should address the drama coming on here from a different perspective. no, this isn’t mod atlas dumping all her problems on me, she’s already tried talking abt it herself - its me deciding to speak up on my own accord after seeing the shitfest my dash has become.

keep in mind - i will be happy to discuss any of this with you guys civilly, but im not going to be kind to nasty anon hate. dm us, or just send us a polite ask, and we can sort things out! if we’ve done something ignorant, i promise you we will educate ourselves and apologise sincerely.

the galen thing

first and foremost - i saw some people saying its sus that i, an nb mod, was added to the blog right after the galen debacle. it was not to save face or hide behind me! ironically, the reason i got added now of all times was because mod atlas and i were discussing what was going on, i gave my thoughts on the matter, she asked me if id be interested in being a mod!

mod atlas then thanked me for my insight and educated her on the issue and figured it would be a good idea to actually have someone in the lgbt+ community on the blog - that way, these silly ignorant mistakes will not happen again. i wont let it happen. not to mention she’s getting pretty busy in her personal life so she thought itd be a good idea to bring someone else on board.

i believe that people can learn from their mistakes - i was also hurt by that misgendering galen post. i bitched about it too. but i saw that everyone involved apologised, genuinely didn’t mean it, and promised to do better. and i’ll hold them to that! but im not gonna start talking trash abt them on other peoples blogs just bc they made a rly ignorant post. if you’re cis, i really don’t want you speaking up on this matter anymore. its not your fight. youre not in the position to forgive nor condemn any of these people. trans folk, im not going to tell you that anyone deserves your forgiveness, that’s up to you, but what they do deserve is your decent respect. unless they say theyre blatantly against trans people - aka make a deliberately transphobic statement rather than one made out of pure ignorance - in that case, all bets are off lmfao. i dont take that shit lightly and ill come for you too.

to the person who made the misgendering galen post - you know who you are, i dont want to send you any more hate than you’ve already been getting so im not going to @ you, but please. reupload your apology about the post, cause i scrolled through your blog for ages and didn’t find it - if i didn’t see it reblogged on this blog, i wouldn’t have known you apologised. i wouldn’t have felt like your blog is a safe space for nonbinary folk. its important you own up to mistakes and keep the apology there.

the nahara thing

look. im poc. im also straight up sick and tired of lovestruck’s mistreatment of dark-skinned characters, especially black characters (why do half of them look like recoloured white people....?) like nahara. its important for our representation that she does well! that way, we can get more diverse li’s on our roster in the future instead of every skinny white person getting the spotlight and 9238428903 seasons. (i love you onyx and juliette, but what the fuck.)

that being said - i dont think what mod atlas said was that bad, especially considering it wasn’t here on fansofvow, the only thing reblogged onto here being her english lesson on galen’s route with a relieved comment abt how thats a series started right.

please understand - we’ve been afraid of the new characters’ routes ever since the strike. a lot of writers left, a lot are likely to be leaving, and we’re concerned about the status of the app. this wasn’t to shoot down nahara, but out of pure relief that we’re not seeing a downwards spike in the writing quality post-strike.

that being said - if you think nahara’s route is well written, and great - thats awesome! please give her all the love for us, cause we do want her to do well. she’s just not our cup of tea. can we please respect that instead of slamming this blog’s name? nahara is still doing well, im seeing hype for her everywhere- one or two negative opinions wont change that. we’re not even going to a leave a review in-app, which is the most important form of community feedback to lovestruck.

the posts have been deleted. please, give it a rest. keep loving nahara. quit the drama.

the nikolai’s route in school thing

all the students that saw the screenshots were 18+, and none of the examples were sexual in nature. teenagers get shown romeo and juliet in school, a play ending in a double suicide, but showing adults a few lines of good writing from a 17+ app is bad? its not like she showed them a scene from a straight up porno, its just a story that happens to have sexual themes in it. its up to the students whether they read the whole story or not, and they’re mature enough to handle it. that’s all im going to say abt the matter, cause im no teacher,

and lastly...

i see a lot of people saying that we, fansofvow, need to “set an example” cause we think we’re a “fandom leader” or somehow think we’re on some high horse cause of clout? i have no idea where this started because ik for a fact mod atlas has never referred to herself as a “fandom leader” or anything like that, and guys, we’re not that up ourselves. we don’t even have tons of followers! we’re just doing our thing to support VOW. please don’t put words in our mouths.

with all that out of the way, i hope we can move on and make the community a happier place for everyone.

-mod galen

tl;dr: people make ignorant mistakes sometimes. mod atlas has apologised for reblogging the post abt misgendering galen, wants nahara to do well, only showed non-sexual writing examples of nikolai to 18+ students and never called herself a “fandom leader.”

[gunpowder-tim]

Do go off about your hcs I am interested 👀

okay okay okay so

ianto is trans masc nb uses he mostly n they sometimes when hes feelin less masc n stuff and hes demi romantic & demi sexual and thats why he said the 'its not men its just him'

jacks gender is *shrugs* like thats what he does if people ask him, he doesnt care what pronouns or anything like that and like its partly cause hes from 51st century but also thats just jack

owen is bi like its not 'confirmed' in the show but he literally has sex w a dude in the first ep well its implied but whatever so no one can tell me hes straight, he kinda has a lil crush on ianto and also jack but he would never say anything 1 bc theyre together 2 hes a repressed asshole 3 its not really a like *proper* crush so hes over it, that doesnt mean he still doesnt stare at them sometimes bc boys pretty

now tosh im like hell yeah bi tosh but brain also says lesbian tosh her crush on owen comphet, mary should still be alive and b w tosh

gwen and owen talk about hot ppl together bc bi bonding

gwen trans bc i love her n i want her to be and her kid also trans bc of that mention in the dw special and shes like the best most supportive mum bc she understands trans stuff, granted its like not exactly the same bc gender stuff never is but gwen gets it, rhys is a bit clueless about it all but he knows gwen is doing good and hes v supportive and Will Fight the teachers and parents if they misgender his kid now ik gwen being pregnant dowsnt make sense if shes trans but torchwood fucky shit and thats why she never expected it bc trans

like okay no one is dead everything is good so

ianto is great w gwens kid bc trans stuff and he knows about the trans masc side of things and hes just a great support for gwen

whenever owen and rhys are together rhys relentlessly flirts w owen, why? 1 bc he thinks its funny 2 owen slept w gwen he can do what he wants 3 rhys maybe does think hes kinda cute and it makes owen blush the slightest bit which rhys takes pride in

and maybe gwen is like yknow id be okay if you wanted to like make out w owen or sth and rhys is like what ha nooo its uh its a joke i dont actually like him and gwen just gives him a look like really and rhys is like well maybe i do but i dont know gwen i dont want to make things weird between us or with him and gwen is like hey its your choice if you do but just know that id be okay w it and so rhys just considers it for a while and one day he ends up just kissing owen and its p cute bc owen gets super flustered like wha bu youre married!!! anyway owen ends up being friends w benefits w gwen and rhys bc polyamory rights like they dont like always have threesomes or never interact w each other when w owen its just healthy n good n fun

ianto and jack adopt and their kid is cute and ianto would do anything for them, their kid and gwens kid become friends and its adorable and like one day gwen and ianto are just watching as gwens kid sits there a book open, reading and like teaching to iantos kid who is sat next to them and now im soft

and maybe they all live together in a nice house quite big and always full of laughter, a rule did have to be made stating no sex in the communal areas after gwen walked in on jack and ianto one too many times, rhys stays at home and is the best dad ever and looks after jack n iantos kid a lot too, sometimes one or two of the members of the team will stay home too if the mission isnt too urgent so they can spend time w the kids and each other

tosh and ianto groan about men together bc whilst yes ianto is sort of a man and yes hes dating jack who is also sort of a man, he knows men suck and tosh is a lesbian and so yeah

mary doesnt live there with tosh but she comes over pretty often, the kids love her and she sometimes brings lil trinkets to show them, owen is a bit scared of her still and she always glares at him

theres a biiig comfy sofa w loads of blankets and pillows and sometimes they all just cuddle together there, if one of them had a bad day or just any reason really, like ianto, if hes thinking of lisa or his dad or any other variety of hings that make him sad or panic, he goes nonverbal and just goes n curls up in the middle of the sofa and the others will notice and slowly all join him, they dont talk about it, they dont push anything, they just give comfort in the form of physical affection and if someone needs to talk they mnow that theyre all here for them

[margridarnauds]

Literally nobody is saying that bisexuals are a more deserving target of unwanted advances. The discourse is over the fact that "lesbian", except to a small handful of people way back in the fucking 1970s, means a female or non-binary female-genitaled person attracted exclusively to other females or non-binaries with female genitalia.

The discourse is also about the rampant biphobia in the community and the consistent attempts to change and warp the meaning of terms that have existed for far longer than the woke tweens trying to stir up the community.

"Bi lesbian" is also a term that radfems and terfs like to throw around when they want to say they hate all men but they're still occasionally willing to fuck one.

There is an ABUDENCE of identifying terms for being attracted to more than one sex and/or gender. Nobody needs to take away a label or twist a label that has already been well established in the community and one that has roots right back to the early days of queer activism.

So, anon, there's a lot to unpack here, given that the actual creator of the current lesbian flag HAS said exactly what you're saying she didn't, but let's throw away the whole goddamn suitcase and talk about "means a female or non-binary female-genitaled person attracted exclusively to other females or non-binaries with female genitalia."

Why the FUCK are we bringing genitalia into this discussion when it's about identity and orientation? Especially when you're insinuating that I'm feeding into TERF rhetoric?

Get the fuck out of my inbox, you disgust me. There's an abundance of terms, and there are even more human beings in the world, each of whom experience their own sexuality in their OWN WAY. This was, actually, brought on by a dear friend of mine being misgendered and called homophobic for speaking up in support of bi lesbians, so let's not pretend, for one second, that any of this is coming from a place of support for the bi community OR the nb community, it isn't (and it's MUCH more complex than just having one or two exceptions). Terfs are a problem, political lesbianism is a problem, but stigmatizing people's very real attraction and how they go about expressing and describing it is NOT a problem.

How DARE you presume to tell someone how they *really* feel about their sexuality, or how they *should* identify according to arbitrary linguistics that, as you so lovingly point out, can CHANGE over time. (See also: The argument over whether or not Sappho was a bi woman - By that same standard, would you say it's wrong to exclude bisexual women from a term that would have included them originally, back to ANCIENT GREECE?) Lesbians and bi women used to be lumped in together back in the day - Why? Because most women, except for a very privileged few, had no choice but to marry. Some of them might have felt SOMETHING for their husbands, even if it was a very hazy form of "something." A good example of this would be George of Denmark and Queen Anne - It's generally (?) agreed that she was a lesbian, but they had a very close relationship and 17 pregnancies together. God knows how she'd identify in the present day. Speaking of people who, by a strict system, wouldn't exist - My uncle. Came out as gay about....oh, ten years ago. He'd dated women before, even been married before, three stepkids, and he had been PASSIONATELY in love with this woman. And he had a partner. He would always describe himself as gay, though he would say, also that he was probably bi. Where the fuck does he fit in? Where the fuck does anyone fit into a rigid system, when human attraction is a very, very weird thing?

And it’s really fucking bold to act like the reason they stopped being treated as the same thing wasn’t because of political lesbians endorsing lesbian separatism, aka, “if a dick touched it, burn it to the ground.” 

You know. TERF rhetoric. 

Frankly, I don't ID as a bi lesbian - I identify as queer, ANOTHER identity that people *love* to throw under the bus, but I'll defend to the death the right of anyone to identify how they please, given that people are weird, attraction is weird, and people should be allowed to use whatever damn terms they want to describe themselves, whether as part of their own exploration process or in general.

Get the fuck off of my blog, I have a paragraph of Middle Welsh to do.

[fandomshatelgbtqpeople]

mod a’s lgbt musicals

Hi there! I’m a big theatre kid so I thought for pride month I’d put together a list of LGBTQ musicals. Despite its association with queer people, musical theatre is not known for its amazing representation. I’ve put together a list here of musicals I know of with queer characters. I’ve tried to avoid those where the queer characters are incredibly minor roles or those where the representation is just not good enough to be salvageable (*side eyes Legally Blonde*) I know there are many musicals I will have missed out but these are the ones I am most aware of. Feel free to add more! So without further ado, here it is.

Fun Home

The big Tony winner of 2015! Based on Alison Bechdel, a butch lesbian cartoonist. At the age of 43, she looks for new material by trying to explore her past and her relationship with her closeted gay dad. Looks back at a version of herself when she was 10 and a “tomboy” and at 19 when she came out and got her first girlfriend. Has very cute lighthearted moments as well as very sad moments. Has a beautiful song where small Alison sees a butch deliverywoman. Problems in that since the original broadway cast, Alison’s costume has got less butch. Content warning for suicide.

Here’s their Tony performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMAuesRJm1E

The Color Purple

Based on Alice Walker’s novel about black women in the 1930s. Follows Celie who has been abused by men her whole life who discovers she is a lesbian but also makes a journey of self discovery and learns to love herself. Her love interest is a bisexual woman. Won best revival at the Tonys in 2016. Content warning for discussion/implied sexual abuse.

Here’s their Tony performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k2xzQyT2bk

Everybody’s Talking About Jamie

A teenage gay boy in Sheffield wants to be a drag queen and go to prom in a dress.Also a nice touch that is does not focus on him having a relationship (since he is sixteen) and him having to come out as he is already out. Focuses on his close relationship with his supportive mother. Has a diverse cast. Jamie is currently played by a black actor and his best friend wears a hijab and has a very diverse ensemble as well. Unfortunately has a part where Jamie responds to a homophobic bully by calling him a bunch of ableist and classist slurs.

Here’s a clip of the most popular song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7C3FuFWDdw

The Prom

Emma is a lesbian teenager in Indiana whose prom is cancelled by the PTA after she requests to bring her girlfriend to it. A group of Broadway actors come down to help her campaign to be allowed to attend prom, as well as styling her, helping her work on her confidence and educating the town’s people. What ensues is basically a two hour musical episode of Queer Eye. Cheesy and fun with so many musical theatre references crammed in. My one issue is that the show is rather harsh on people who are closeted since Emma has conflicted with her girlfriend Alyssa because she is not ready to come out.

Here’s a clip of their Tony performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGcG_r5xv3E

Rent

Probably the most well known on this list. Artists in New York during the AIDS crisis. Two of the main couples featured are queer: Maureen is bisexual and in a relationship with Joanne who is a lesbian, and Angel is a transgender woman of color in a relationship with Collins, a presumably bisexual man. However, she tends to be played bi cis men and there are instances of her being misgendered by the main characters uncritically. In Rent Live (2019), all instances of her being misgendered were removed and her gender identity was confirmed. She was played in this by Valentina, an nb drag queen and has also been played by Pose’s MJ Rodriguez, a trans woman. Very diverse with Jewish characters and people of colour and in the live show, only 1 of the 8 main characters was white. Has been criticised over the years, mainly for its biphobic portrayal of Maureen who is promiscuous and implied to cheat, but in the 90s did a lot for the LGBTQ community and is more progressive than a lot of media even now.

Here’s a clip of Maureen and Joanne from Rent Live: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06oCfKYYPTY

And here’s some Angel and Collins: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hl-M94o_x8

Falsettos

Marvin comes out as gay in the late 70s but decides to move his ex wife and son in with his boyfriend. Addresses AIDS crisis in Act 2. Has “lesbians from next door” in act 2. F Revived on Broadway in 2016. All of the characters are Jewish. Unfortunately, in revival casts, very few actors tend to be Jewish.

Here’s the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjnAHOdMQVk

Come From Away

In the aftermath of 9/11, 38 planes are diverted to a small town in Canada called Gander. Shows people of different races and nationalities bonding in a scary time. Addresses Islamophobia. Has one song called Prayer where prayers from different religions overlap. Has an interracial gay couple called Kevin and Kevin. They break up in the end but are very important characters. Won best direction of a musical in 2017. The Broadway production starred Jenn Colella who has referred to herself as ‘mostly gay’.

Here’s a clip of Jenn Colella singing a song from the musical: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8ukgH6U-d0

Head Over Heels

Honestly I don’t quite know what this musical is about, even by reading the plot summary and listening to the soundtrack. I know it’s set in a Tudor fantasy world and that there are wlw couples as well as an explicitly non binary character, played by Peppermint, a trans woman, and that there are interracial couples and plus sized actors. It is a jukebox musical using songs by the Go-Gos and yes the wlw anthem that is Heaven is a Place on Earth is one of them. The soundtrack is fantastic even if you can’t follow what is going on.

Here are some show clips: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wx2qQ7QAPm0

Spring Awakening

German school kids in the 19th century discovering their sexuality. Two of the schoolboy supporting characters, Ernst and Hänschen, have a romance when they have a reprise of an earlier song in Act 2.  A BIG content warning as it has graphic discussions of rape and songs about it and a sex scene with very dubious consent. However there was a very wonderful 2016 revival using deaf actors and sign language.

This is another one you can very easily find the full show of on YouTube which I won’t link. However here’s the Tony performance for the revival: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSagsMcak4Q

If/Then

A woman named Elizabeth (originally played by Idina Menzel) moves to New York after a divorce and contemplated how different her life would be if she took two different paths. Four supporting queer characters. Her ex-boyfriend is bisexual and played by Anthony Rapp (who is bisexual in real life) and he gets a boyfriend in one timeline. Another of her friends is a lesbian called Kate who marries her girlfriend in the musical. Problems occur as in both timelines, cheating goes on in the lesbian relationship although they stay together in one. Elizabeth also says she doesn’t believe in bisexuals, a view no one ever challenges her on, however Lucas is very clearly bisexual which is some proof for the audience that she is wrong.

I’m not going to link it here but there are many very high quality bootlegs on it on YouTube if you want to watch,

Ghost Quartet

A bit of a weird one. This is more of a concept album. There are four performers who each play instruments and they tell the stories of many interconnected timelines. It is very hard to explain but there are souls travelling through time who keep being reincarnated as different people with different relationships to each other which usually end with one woman killing the other. In the song Soldier & Rose, the ghosts Rose and Pearl are lovers as Rose seduces the soldier for her honey.  In the song Four Friends, for one chorus the men sing “I like to put my hand on a pretty girls’s knee” and the women sing “pretty boy’s knee” and then they switch for the next chorus so they’re all bisexual. In general, a lot of fun if you like weird musicals and I mean really weird.

The full show is online: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJSaEJm8pCE

Mean Girls

Yes there’s a musical of it. I was not looking forward to it when it was announced but have actually grown to quite like it. It’s hardly lyrical genius but the songs are fun and a lot of the problematic aspects of the film have been fixed. Damian is more explicitly gay in the musical and sings about an ex boyfriend in one song. Janis is heavily implied to be a lesbian (confirmed by actress offstage) and she doesn’t end up with Kevin Gnapoor. She is played by a queer actress in the tour cast. Both queer characters are much bigger roles than in the movie and get several songs each. I’d consider the musical to be quite white feminist but it does address issues such as the sexualisation of teenage girls and the notion that to be ‘sexy’ is ‘empowering’.

Here’s a clip of one of Damian’s songs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-zM6QKkxEQ

& Juliet

An English jukebox musical about what might have happened to Juliet in Romeo and Juliet if she had not died at the end. I haven’t seen it but I’ve listened to the soundtrack and it is mainly comprised of 21st century songs by women. One of Juliet’s best friends is non binary although is played by a cis man as far as we know. Also I went to the same school as one of the actors which is a bonus for me. Very diverse cast.

Here’s a trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm2k9nS3o20

In Transit

A capella musical about several people’s adventures on New York public transport. Two of the main characters in this ensemble cast are an interracial gay couple where both are pocs. They are engaged but one of them is having trouble coming out to his mother. I found it refreshing in that his fiance for the most part was not upset with him at his struggles in coming out and they were both able to live fulfilling lives despite this. I am always astonished by the talent of a cappella singers.

Here’s a trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhvik6qoass  Another one where the bootleg can be found very easily on YouTube

Firebringer

Remember A Very Potter Musical? Well, the company that did that are still putting out new pieces of theatre on their YouTube channel. In 2016, they put out their ridiculous comedy musical Firebringer, about a group of bisexual cavewomen. I won’t spoil the ending but trust me, it’s great. You may know it from the viral clip of one of the main characters singing ‘I don’t really wanna do the work today.’

You can watch the full musical here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmVuNlu0LCk

Special Mentions

Company

Musical by Stephen Sondheim about a man unable to commit to a relationship, surrounded by his friends who are all in couples. However, the award-winning 2018 West End revival chose to change the genders of some of the characters. The main character Robert became ‘Bobbie’ (although all of her love interests were gender-swapped as well). One of the originally M/F couples became an M/M couple. It opened on Broadway for about a week before the Covid outbreak so that will be one to look out for.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtDK03y4gT0

In the Heights

A musical by Lin-Manuel Miranda about the Latin American community living in Washington Heights in New York. The original theatre production has no explicitly queer characters. However, in the upcoming movie version (that was meant to be released this summer but has been pushed back to next summer) it has been confirmed that the characters of Daniela and Carla (Daphne Rubin-Vega and Stephanie Beatriz) will be explicitly a couple.

I absolutely love this musical and the trailer for the movie looks beautiful check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0CL-ZSuCrQ

[peterxfluidxchrissy]

Is it weird that I feel safer putting in signs that I’m Gender Fluid in school presentations yet I struggle to tell people I’m actually gender fluid? I guess a little part of me hoped somehow they’ll figure it out.

On a different note, I told my best friend I was Genderfluid today. Honestly I hadn’t planned on doing so but she noticed my pronouns on my Instagram were They/Them so she DM’d me apologizing if she’s ever gotten them wrong and I told her I was Genderfluid. It was great. She’s super understanding and supportive.

I know this is kinda whipping around from topic to topic but I figured might as well stuff it all together than make a million different posts. I feel like I always see stuff about how with being Genderfluid people can hurt you by misgendeirng you, but for me that’s not true. I don’t know if anyone else who’s Genderfluid feels the same but on my Fem days, when I’m called anything other than She/Her/They/Them it hurts. And on my masculine days if I’m called anything other than He/Him/They/Them it hurts. And then on top of that I like the default of going to They/Them and I’m not uncomfortable with them, but I’m always more comfortable with the other set of terms depending on it is a Fem or Masculine day. I’ve never had a NB day but it’s possible. I feel like I’m ranting, but it just makes me feel uncomfortable and when I see all the things saying we can’t be hurt by being misgendered. If anyone else out there feels the same, know you are not alone and that just because you’re Genderfluid doesn’t mean you can’t get hurt when someone misgenders you.

[tamamonomaes]

Clearing Up Misconceptions on How Gendered Language Works in Japanese

In specifically relation to Fate, how this effects how the characters present, and why these misconceptions could be interpreted as disrespectful to the Japanese trans community.

(DISCLAIMER: I am NOT cis like people seem to think! I realise you may assume that looking at me, but it's because of medical reasons. Corrections and input from native Japanese speakers welcome and encouraged!

1 The "I pronoun" is not indicative of gender as there is no such thing as a "personal pronoun. " The "I pronoun" is not primarily focused in gender, but rather, whether they are formal or informal, who you are talking to, sometimes your age, and what mood and tone you are trying to convey. "Ore" isn't a suitable option for a "personal pronoun" in the first place as it is informal and comes off extremely rude in some situations, like a job interview, so it is likely that the ore user is going to be switching to something more polite. For example, Astolfo's pronoun of boku is not indicative of them being male as its primary focus is to represent humbleness; yes it is "primarily" used for boys, however it is also considered "cute" for young girls; basically what Astolfo's use of boku can tell us about Astolfo is that Astolfo wants to be perceived as humble, and has an element of childishness to them.

2 Within the fandom, there seems to be this urge to binarise pronouns to support certain arguments that certain characters are cis and that certain characters are trans, when in actuality, the Japanese language is already far more diverse and expresses far more freedom in it's way of expressing pronouns and gender. The absolute biggest misunderstanding comes with the use of "ore" and "atashi." Basically, people believe that anyone who uses these pronouns wants to be perceived as either hyper feminine or hyper masculine, and if someone uses one of these pronouns, they want to be perceived as either female or male. However, this is simply not what these pronouns indicate at all. While atashi is traditionally considered feminine, gay men have adopted the pronoun as a means of talking casually without presenting; the same goes for ore. While it is true it is tradionally masculine, these days, it has evolved more to present the image of being casual, as well as youth wanting to sound tough. While a woman may not usually use ore irl, it is also true that anime characters don't actually talk like real Japanese people, and female characters in anime using ore is an actual thing.

You will often see this double standard that people will say they support pronouns not being idictitive of gender in English, ie, a he/him lesbian, but then binarise the Japanese language in the sense that atashi means you present female, and ore means you present male, like NB and trans Japanese don't exist. If you were told only women use atashi and. Men ore no shade, I'm just letting you know it's more complex than that. You see this particularly with ore as it creates a "tough" image, and people believe women don't want to, or even can't, be seen as tough. If you believe someone can use he/him and be female, for the sake of respect to the Japanese language and the nb community, I ask you to do the same for men who atashi and women who use ore.

3. Grammatically, Japanese doesn't actually require the use of she/him when reffering to others. This is why you don't see characters reacting to being misgendered because, quite often they just aren't there in the original. Since they are in English, this results in the translators own perception of the character affecting how they identify in the story. There are so many instances of transphobia in fate, however, because the series is handled by so many different writers and it's hard to track down who is responsible for what, I really shouldn't have to explain to you why it is disrespectful for you to put the Japanese writers at fault for getting angry because a character is being misgendered when you're literally reading a fan translation and the pronouns just aren't there in the first place. Please stop calling out "transphobia" on the writers part because you saw Astolfo being called a he in a fan translation, or even in NA where different translators with different views have to add pronouns in. There's bigger issues of transphobia you can be focusing on rather than non-existent pronouns. The only real way you can be sure if a character is being misgendered is to check the original Japanese. But reminder certain characters using the wrong pronouns, ie, Ophelia using she/her for Caenis does not necessarily reflect the views of the writers.

Contrary to what people think, Fate does actually have a way of acknowledging certain characters as GNC. This method isn't perfect and has problems, but Astolfo, Enkidu, D'eon and Avenger Nobunaga are all canonically considered GNC with the genderless attributes in Fgo. To me this includes trans as historically D'eon is a trans woman and Nobu a trans man, but nonbinary readings of these characters are still absolutely fair, so some may disagree. If you don't consider Nobu a trans man and instead nb, you could argue that the reason Mordred isn't included because the series may have a predudice to trans men considering they want waifus and have made historical men women instead.

[thisiswhymomworries]

How did you figure out you're a man? Gender is confusing

gender is very confusing, and I just dogpaddled in this great big Confusion Ocean toward anything that made me happy

I started out by realizing that even though wearing makeup and dresses and heels made me look very pretty and that validation made me happy, I was only happy about other people responding positively. it didn’t make me happy on its own, and was actually a huge pain to do every day

so I went more “butch” and eventually started buying clothes out of the boy’s section, and that DID make me happy. to the point that I started only wearing those and stopped wearing makeup entirely

then being called she, her, anything about being a woman, started to feel really wrong and aggravating, even though I’d spent years IDing as non-binary (knowing I am Not a woman is one of the few solid facts I’ve known about myself for sure, but I went to the non-binary label before trans male) and not caring or feeling bad / dysphoric about it

idk why that changed. maybe because I just started being more open with myself about what I really wanted, and I’d also sort of “proven” to myself that I *could be* beautiful and attractive as a femme-presenting person, which was important bc my entire childhood was about how ugly and weird I was, so I guess I just needed to reverse that in my mind before I could move forward with anything else

but then once I had learned how to dress fashionably and apply makeup well and “look pretty,” my brain was like “OK we accomplished that Fuck You so we’re totally done with that now” and suddenly it just wasn’t fun anymore  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

then I went through months of reacting very badly inside my own head every time someone misgendered me as female (before, thinking I was non-binary, I personally was just sort of resigned to the fact that no one would ever realize I was nb without me telling them, and it was “fair” for them to assume I was female, so it didn’t really bother me toooo much or feel like misgendering, but whoo boy did THAT change)

and also during those same Bad Months, struggling over whether I could still be happy IDing as non-binary, and just because I Was Not Female, that didn’t necessarily make me male, but also I liked wearing boy’s clothes and the thought of being a boy made me really happy and I started dreaming that I was a boy and one time my boss told me I was “a gentleman and a scholar” as just a silly joke but my dopamine receptors latched onto the word “gentleman” for like a week of happiness, soooo

I just started doing anything that would make me happy and dropping the things that didn’t. getting a binder made me happy, buying all boy’s clothes for my whole wardrobe has made me happy, and eventually I decided using he/him pronouns would make me happier than they/them pronouns

I’ve also been in therapy for the last several months specifically to have someone to talk to about this stuff, mostly just as a sounding board and someone to listen while I figure out how to verbalize my feelings, because that’s helped me understand WHAT I’m feeling a lot. I also went through a leadership program at my local equality center that let me test out using he/him pronouns and joined a transgender support group where I’ve made friends and also talked about it all!

as for non-binary vs trans male, I eventually realized the actually important part is that I’m Not Female. right now, at this moment, I’m happiER using he/him pronouns and being a trans male. maybe that’s because it’s “easier” in a way because I didn’t have to explain much while coming out at work and he/him is more common than they/them. maybe one day I’ll realize that being binary-male doesn’t quite fit and I’m more demi-boy or even go back to non-binary

but RIGHT NOW, it does make me happy and is easy and safe (at work, with my friends, and with my mother; I am very very lucky) to use that label. since I’m never going to wake up and feel like a cis woman, because I never have in my life so I see no reason for that to be fluid or change, there’s no point in clinging to it when something else could make me happy. and even if I do need to switch to non-binary, that’s not any LESS trans. that’s not like basically a girl. my cis coworkers would still consider me different from them and would still need to get used to new pronouns and a new appearance, so holding back on IDing as a trans male just because I’m not 100% certain I’m a MAN sometimes doesn’t make sense

so that’s how I ended up making the jump to declaring I’m a man, even though it took a really long time and I have doubts sometimes. that’s all OK, and I’m just going to do whatever I need to so I can be happy and live my best life, and so should you

[thebuggyy]

ok so. i was not aware of this until a few minutes ago, but sam smith recently announced publically that they now use they/them pronouns (yay!). i found this out from a post on r/unpopularopinions and it unfortunately a blatantly transphobic post.

what is so terrible about it is that there was a 77% agree tag on it.

77%. agreed.

you may be wondering. ‘but evan, what if they just didn’t understand it? they’re confused!’ and to that i say: stop and consider you’re saying. 

now maybe you need to read the actual post. so now, i’m going to painstakingly go through that post sentence by sentence. or maybe a couple sentences at a time.

i’d like to note that i while i am not nonbinary, i am trans myself. please do reblog with comments on anything in this post, i am very interested to see people’s opinions. while cis ppl can and should reblog, i will not tolerate transphobia. don’t be a fool.

so the title of the post:

We need broader acceptance of individuality, NOT more pronouns or genders.

when i saw this i thought, okay, but what does individuality mean? what more pronouns and genders? are they perhaps in anger against MOGAI genders/sexualities? either way, i was not prepared for the actual post at all.

I was reading an article about pop-star Sam Smith where he asks to go by “they” rather than “him”, because he has never felt like a man or a woman.

okay. okay. first off. the disrespect in this poster’s words is maybe not apparent yet, except for the fact that they misgender sam smith immediately. and it’s as they’re explaining that sam smith uses they/them pronouns! still, this didn’t prepare me for what was to come.

Quite frankly, I find it utterly stupid. It has no bearing on your life or mine, and Sam Smith or anyone else is free to do and say whatever they please, but I can’t help but think that it’s the wrong approach.

you find it stupid? okay, yes, it doesn’t have any bearing on either of our lives. but that doesn’t mean you can’t give them the respect that they politely requested you give them by asking you to use they/them pronouns for them. it’s literally just human decency. that’s it. they’re not asking you to focus on them! just to use they/them pronouns if you do! and look, you’ve already fucked it up.

Sam Smith is a man, because you know... biology.

i’d like to mention that in one of their comments on this post, they tell someone that “Horseshit. This has nothing to do with transphobia.”

. . .

this is the definition of transphobia.

you know what’s on the wikipedia page for transphobia?

MISGENDERING. and what do we see this reddit user doing throughout this post? misgendering. this entire post is transphobic.

moving on.

I can understand that he perhaps doesn’t identify with traditional male stereotypes, but surely the answer is not to change our language.

listen. i have a lot to say about this. again, this reddit user uses he to refer to sam smith (misgendering them, yet again. another point for transphobia!).

when someone comes out as nonbinary, it’s not because they don’t identify with stereotypes. it’s because they don’t identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. that’s it. that’s being trans. by itself, wanting to wear makeup or a dress is not what makes someone trans. yes, that often does come with someone transitioning to be female, but that’s because they are searching to feel feminine, not because they want to break the male stereotype.

it’s not about being a different kind of man for sam smith, it’s about being neither  a man nor a woman. plain and simple.

and don’t even get me started on the changing our language bit.

singular they, according to wonderful wikipedia, has been in use since the 14th century. this isn’t new. this isn’t changing the language, and that is not a valid excuse to misgender someone.

also, sidenote, but even if it WAS new, two things:

1. languages change and evolve. when was the last time you used thou and thy unironically? that’s language changing, baby

2. IT’S CALLED BASIC HUMAN DECENCY AND RESPECTING THEIR WISHES.

Would it not be better to raise awareness, and gradually broaden our perspective on what’s accepted and what isn’t for men or women?

raising awareness on breaking stereotypes is all well and good. but i despise it being used as an argument to not respect people.

is it not hypocritical to say that we should ‘broaden our perspective on what’s accepted and what isn’t for men or women’ and then completely destroy that argument by not accepting sam smith’s request to use they/them pronouns? it literally takes zero effort to NOT write a whole post about how nonbinary ppl are stupid, and you still did it! you put MORE effort into NOT spreading awareness about acceptance, and instead wrote a transphobic post about how we should ignore someone asking for acceptance.

the bullshit meter is off the charts.

Surely that’s more productive rather than confusing the hell out of people with new pronouns depending on the personality of a person?

what does the end of this sentence even mean?? the personality of the person??? and also, sam smith is deliberately giving you the opportunity to not be confused. they came out very publically and stated what pronouns they are going by. they did NOT just start getting mad at ppl for using he/him.

this article compiles sam smith’s tweets/instagram captions on the matter. you’ll note that they specifically state that they will try and help people to understand what they mean by all of this, and they also tag activists in the trans/nb community who specifically helped them understand their identity.

when sam smith is giving all of these resources, i will simply not accept blatant transphobia under the guise of confusion. confusion does not mean you have to write an entire post about how nonbinary people are trying to confuse people.

in conclusion.

support sam smith and their coming out. don’t be transphobic. love nonbinary people. love people because they are people, not because you’re not “confused” by them.