#and it's literally just discourse. the only thing that really gets to me is the possibility of being hypocritial

[velvetvexations]

Ive seen at least two responses to your antigonism post saying that the word would be divisive because “transfems who are normal about transmascs are the norm” and I really truly do believe that’s probably the case but at the same time it personally feels a little dismissive?? I cant speak for all trans people obviously but I know A LOT of trans people, basically everyone in my life is trans- my blood sibling, all of my friends, my 2 girlfriends (im poly) I am regularly in contact with other trans people/trans communities in several cities across my state, and for me it really does not feel like its a “small vocal minority” of transfems who hold anti transmasculine and exorsexist beliefs.

I want to make it clear I absolutely love the transfems in my community, they are my dearest friends, and I deeply treasure our relationships; but absolutely every one of them that I have gotten close to has ended up saying something to me that made me feel really weird. They either mention something about how transmascs have it easier/transfems have it the worst, or they feel the need to gatekeep things from other trans people& borderline accuse other trans people/intersex people of copying transfems, or they joke and complain about “theyfabs” or justify the use of the term (both of my gfs did this- mind you I was afab and exclusively use they/them pronouns), or they invalidate feminine transmasc and afab enby people (again something both of my gfs did despite me being genderfluid and sometimes presenting feminine).

And thats just some of the things Ive experienced IRL in my own home and within my own communities! If I were to start listing my experiences online Id be here all night!! I honestly want to go on about the shit I see online but I dont have the energy for it- but when I see exorsexist or anti trans masculinity coming from transfems (and self proclaimed tmes) online, the comments/notes/whatever is always filled with sometimes hundreds of other trans people agreeing and venting their own frustrations about “tmes” and it just. Again doesnt FEEL like its a minority. You are literally one of the only TWO transfems I know who makes content actively CONSISTENTLY standing up for transmascs and pushing back against anti trans masculinity. Its not that I think its transfems job to dismantle anti trans masculinity but the ratio of transfems who complain about tmes vs ones who actively push back against that rhetoric feels so disproportionate to how often I see transmasc and afab enbies pushback against trans misogyny and the exclusion of transfems in queer spaces.

This turned into a very long winded vent and Im kinda struggling to conclude my point but i guess I wish it felt like more people cared to pushback against TIRFism. It just feels kinda dismissive to hear people say that transmascs who are hesitant to interact w trans communities just need to touch grass or whatever when in my personal experience it feels like I cannot escape anti trasmasculinity or exorsexism in every trans space I am apart of. Kinda blanking on how to end this ask i hope any of this is coherent.

I wanna emphasize again that the person I responded to specifically was really cool and my emotions in this post are not directed at them

Recently someone said it was "easy to forget most trans women are normal about trans men," and I was scolded because me not thinking that was horribly transmisogynistic was apparently a sign I'd lowered my standards as a trans woman because I'm too discourse poisoned, so now I'm even more self-conscious that people will start to see me that way no matter how much I try to insist over and over that TRFs are a vocal minority.

Meanwhile I continue to get asks calling me a pickme and comparing me to Blair White. I continue to have ten people respond to my every reply going "don't listen to Velvet she's crazy and hates trans women!!!!!".

So yeah. It is, actually, easy to forget that sometimes.

Especially since I'm stuck in a tiny southern town without even the option to make use of what meager community exists in the area because there's no one to drive me several hours to the state capital for their annual Pride stuff. I can't just go outside and be gal pals with all the vast numberless hordes of Normal trans women. I would be shocked beyond fucking belief if I saw two gay cis men in my fucking zip code. With my personal situation I can't even be social with cishet people anyway, let alone other queers, let alone all the trans women others perceive as Normal because they've knowingly been in the physical presence of another trans person a single time in their life and have the option of making that happen when they want it to.

Thank you for the support, anon.

[giftofgaypoetry]

My main criticism is that indirect characterisation is completely absent from the show. The only way that the audience can learn about characters is "character says thing about themselves" or "character says thing about other character". Instead of watching character behave and inferring/drawing a conclusion about the character ("oh she is really uncomfortable around her father and he isnt present in her life. Hmmm daddy issues"), the show holds up cue cards to tell us what the character is ("she has daddy issues" "this is the 3 min mark of episode 1...")

I have 2 theories for why this is the case

one, vivziepop isnt a good character writer. Thats a solid one. Vivziepop doesn’t know how to make characters with arcs and complexity and growth for a TV show, theyre just her self indulgent ocs. She hasn’t studied writing, she doesn’t care for it, and just wants her little fun oc time. Thats fine ig whatever?? I actually dont mind people with their self indulgent skrunkle blorbeauxs and having fun with it, everyone has the right to write/draw trash (/aff)

Two, that vivziepop believes that there is a “right way” and a “wrong way” to interpret characters. That vivziepop literally hasnt grown up from petty fandom drama, "he wouldnt fucking say that", and "critical thinking" discourse on 2010s tumblr and twitter and basically cant handle the idea that someone might have different opinions from her about her characters. to think about a character in any way different to her is wrong and mean, so she’ll tell u directly what they are which is BORING and CHILDISH for an audience for an adult tv show. If a creator is so scared of audiences drawing conclusions about their characters that they might disagree with, the creator isn't ready to let their work out into the world to be critiqued. People are going to have different headcanons and ideas about ur blorbeauxs than u and ur goin to have to get over it.

*edit because i missed a point i wanted to make

Im not a practising Catholic/Christian or dedicated to the faith and worship of God, but Vivzie's disregard of Christian canon is absolutely egregious and really rubs me the wrong way. She's not making any significant social commentary on Christian theology, she's not analysing the nature of good vs evil that Christian culture teaches, she's not interrogating punishment vs rehabilitation, and she's not using Christianity to challenge it's beliefs. It's just edgy backdrop for her Blorbeaux Skrunkle Meow Meow Fanfiction and it makes her total twisting and reinterpreting of its faith come across as callous and ignorant.

Wait back up you're a hazbin hater? I dont care if people like or dislike it but I honestly am surprised LOL I assumed that due to the animation and hand drawn stuff you would like it!

I am a hazbin hotater yes…. I dislike Viv I think the story is shoddy and I feel bad for the people working on that show. Hotel Purgatorium is my “spite turned fuck it I’ll do it myself my ocs now oh wait this is fun” project

[klavierpanda]

Bro...aroaces are literally the most represented everywhere. And you're still complaining. Go ask aroallos and aceallos about being recognised lol

The post wasn't even about representation, it's about the fact that even in aspec spaces there is a tendency to leave out the aro part of aroace and just viewing those people as asexual where being aro is an afterthought. Do you not see how that is also harmful for both aroallos and alloaces?

In the case of aroallos it's the fact that they're forgotten about because they aren't asexual and therefore their identity isn't even at the forefront of most people's minds when discussing aspec stuff. Their aroness is erased because it is not accompanied by asexuality.

In the case of alloaces there is the underlying assumption that romantic attraction isn't felt because there is still the assumption that aroace and asexual are the same thing. The fact they do feel romantic attraction is erased by the fact they're asexual.

The underlying issue here is that there isn't a great understanding of how different attractions interact with each other and the different labels we have to describe different experiences, even within the aspec community.

I made the post because an irl aspec group that I'm in were talking about the aroace character in the new series of Heartstopper and almost all of them referred to him as asexual. I have not watched Heartstopper (romance stuff doesn't interest me) but I was informed that there's actually a stronger focus on romantic attraction, i.e. the aro part in his aroace identity. As well as a consistent feeling that my aroness was erased when I identified as aroace and is ultimately one of the reasons I dropped the ace part of the label.

[lord-squiggletits]

Man there's nothing wrong with genderbends as a concept but there's something lowkey infuriating about this fandom's tendency to take canonically gay (or at least, MLM) male characters and genderbend them into women like. Is that not at least a little bit uncomfortable for anyone else here or is it just me

[butchlifeguard]

the she/theys vs he/theys and wlw vs mlm posts are symptoms of a larger problem within the queer community 👍

[magicdyke]

dude is just not smart

[pissfizz]

On one hand toya tenma hc is one of my favorite things ever and it’s very important to me but on the other part of me is coming to hate it bc fans are so insufferable about it

[piratefalls]

y'all, if you don't even like the premise of a fic, never mind its content, and you possess the ability to scroll past it, you should probably just...do that. instead of putting authors on blast for writing a thing you don't agree with.

[dirt-str1der]

Do you consider any of the non protagonist yakuza girls well writen?

I think none of them had rights

[allramnostorage]

i'll never understand fans who get so mad about other people interpreting a story or character differently than they do, because that's actually sick as hell. especially when the creator leaves things kind of vague. like, the text contains multitudes my friend, and the subtext? more possibilities than either of us could ever imagine.

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

@sockdooe

If youre ok w sharing then i would love to hear your thoughts on lotor........ Hes such a weird guy. Dissecting him like a frog

If i get hate for this, i am blaming you/j but in all honesty i apologize if this kinda messy, as i have said it has beem awhile since i saw any of the episodes about him. Most of it is my personal interpretation and opinions of his character-

First of all i personally hate both "L0tor is evil rapist imperialist who did not have a single redeemable quality" and "L0tor is uwu poor baby who did nothing wrong", because yeah he had good intentions and he seemed to genuinely love Alura and care for Alteans but also he very much did do a lot of things Wrong. I am pretty sure a lot of his actions fall into category of Very Wrong

Lot0r to me is an absolute control freak, he has to be 10 steps ahead of everyone, he needs to be control of the situation no matter what. Whether it be through a silver tongue or by his blade (see N@rti's death, him vs White Lion). This is as much as a ruthless strategy as it is a trauma response. Being raised under Z@rkon, a father who only saw him as inferior half-bred, he had to learn survivor tactics. He will do anything to survive whether it be beg, lie, manipulate, and kill. He is a survivor of some genuinely godawful abuse he suffered for 10,000 years, combined with racism he suffered for being half altean

However this need to be in control extends to his allies and people he cares about. I am sure Lotor may have loved Alura, it doesnt change the fact that he very much abused her trust. Their entire relationship was based on a lie. He knew Alteans were still alive and not only did he not tell Alura about it he leaned into the "last survivors of Altea" for their relationship, which is why it was doomed since the beginning. And if it had not been this, then it would have been something else. Cause lying and manipulation are very much core of his character, that is how we are introduced to him

Like i see people going "Oh Lot0r could have been good if he had therapy and a hug", and i am not really not sure about it, cause like would he? Would he choose to be vulnerable and actually let his feelings out and be truthful in a an unbiased reliable way that will neither serve him in any way nor make him look better nor is a part of some machivilian scheme he cooked up because he doesnt trust the therapist he is paying? No

And thing is he does desire connection. He looks for connection in people who are similar to him. Half galran, altean survivors, Alura these are the people who he chose to get close to. He looks for similarities, people he can relate to, people who he sees as like him, people who he thinks can give him a sense of belonging. He is deeply lonely. However his desperation for control, absolute mistrust in anyone and everyone, and his inability to be actually honest dooms any relationship he'll ever have

Also this is probably just me, but for someone who is this morally complex character he has tendency to see things in black and white? Like it is His dad and empire= bad, alteans=good. He idolizes Altea to the point of seeing it as an Utopia, and this ideal was more important to him than any Alteans who are alive and with him. I also cant remember him ever caring about someone outside of the Dichotomy. Like at most i remember is after he became the emperor Lance pointing out how other planets need to be freed and he just brushed it off

Overall he gives me the "smart people dont always make good decisions, but they are good at justifying their bad ones" vibes. We dont know exactly why he decided to use alteans as batteries but i am choosing to go with my interpretation- "Lottor saw something fucked up in that future showing space whale thingy, decided the only way to solve was altean batteries except in true self fulfilling prophecy greek tragedy way it only made things worse and started a series of event that will cause the thing he saw causing real trouble a few years after his death.

Another thing! I think it should have been him being the focus of Evil Altean episode instead of A//ura. I hate that episode and everything it stands for but like if there Had to be an evil alteans episode then it should be around someone who is you know? Obsessed with Altean culture? Is big on control and manipulation? Is more geared towards big picture and "greater good" over individual? Is worried about turning into just like his galran father and so desperately wants to connect to his idealized version of his altean mother? Yeah

[ranboolivesaysstuff]

IMPORTANT POST PLEASE READ

Im gonna be honest and open for a sec, and please do not take this as "oh I HATE my community or I dont like the people who watch me" but honestly as of late (and I did highlight this during the mcc bit), ive felt like I havent been able to really be in my own community simply because of the constant way that "discourse" is handled. Making vague posts and not really tackling issues in a good way, all that is going to do is just show people a big "THIS COMMUNITY BAD" sign and not actually help anything within the community, all its going to do is have the good and potentially good people leave or not join in the first place. The way that discourse is treated that ive seen has been the main reason why I have started to try to distance myself, which has been the most heartbreaking thing I have had to do. I want problems to be solved in a mature, civil way, with either a dm or a reply, not an entire vague thing that only says "bad things are happening" and doesnt elaborate on anything or barely elaboratesa and only gives people on both the inside and outside a bad sign of what the community is. Making posts whenever something happens being like "here we go again" is only going to highlight the wrong things, and actually DOESNT help the issue at all! The problems should be discussed directly with the people who are doing said problems FIRST! Bring attention to behaviors and things that arent good DIRECTLY! And also, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO!!! It is not your duty as a viewer or fan of me to be involved in any of this if you do not want to! Just enjoy the content and make silly posts! As someone who constantly tried to fix and get into every problem as it was happening, it took a huge toll on my mental health, and I want you guys to just be able to enjoy the content without having to worry about what you say about it! Be constructive! Dont make posts again just being like "wow this community is so bad" because that doesnt solve literally anything! If you have enough passion to make the posts saying "wow this community is bad" then only post about that, you are only spreading that negative message, and not uplifting anything of actual value! And if the person you are trying to help is not willing or not listening, BLOCK! MUTE! DONT BRING MORE ATTENTION TO THE PERSON IF THEY ARE NOT BEING A GOOD PART OF THE COMMUNITY!!!! I know I say that if I see problems I will call them out, but I shouldnt have to babysit every single time a thing happens within the community as that just isnt a healthy way for a creator or a community to be handled. This does not mean that I do not care about the issues or dont want them fixed, rather it shouldnt take me having to make some grand statement every single time something happens it should take only your own self reflection and self awareness. And to add onto this, make sure that every once in a while no matter who you are you think and have that self reflection, you should be open to being willing to learn and grow as a person! And again, I do NOT want anyone taking this as "Wow this community is terrible" but rather that we just have things that need to be fixed and changed and THAT IS OKAY! I do not hate the community, I care so much about it that I want it to be a silly place for my content again! I want it to be the reason why people get into what I do because of it again! And I want to be able to just have fun and relax without having to worry about how every single thing that I may say could have someone stirring things up that simply dont help or solve anything! Take care of yourselves. And this isnt coming from a place of "I hate the community as a whole" but rather again I want to be able to exist and make content that we can all enjoy without having to worry about walking on eggshells around me or around eachother! At the end of the day im just a fella that wants to make silly videos for you all, and you are people who enjoy said videos. Nothing more. Nothing less.

[haedalkoo]

The car conversation and grammar: "When I was busy, you were free but you never called me."

After rewatching the episodes a few times (I just couldn't get enough of them) and reading the opinions floating around, I wanted to add my two cents to the car conversation discourse. This post is mostly about language and interpretations. Keep in mind I'm not 100% fluent in Korean, but I understand the language to a significant degree.

Let's get started!

It's time to put on my Korean-is-an-awfully-ambiguous-language cap. Buckle up.

The conversation starts with Jimin saying they haven't gone somewhere in a long time. I would say it's not that they haven't hung out, but that they haven't traveled together or gone out like that. This is just my interpretation, though. JK tells him, "we were supposed to get a drink" (as in, meet up and go for a drink 만나서 (meet and) 술 한잔 하자 (go get a drink)). Then, Jimin says "원래 그런 거 아니겠니" which loosely translates to "isn't that how it's supposed to be originally?" as in, that's what happens, you talk about doing this or that together and it never ends up happening. Like the travel show, if JM hadn't flown to JK. Like the times he tells Tae to meet up but never happens. Life gets in the way.

But this is the interesting part. Jimin's reply to me comes off a little defensive (in a joking manner), as if saying, "don't blame me for not meeting up (it's not like I didn't want to, I couldn't)." but JK keeps pushing him. He says:

"형 바쁠 땐 / 내가 겁나 한가한데 / 안 찾고. 나 바쁠 땐 / 형 한가한데 / 안 찾고."

This sentence is a grammatical nightmare. He isn't using any particles, which help indicate who's the subject or object of the sentence. So you can only guess based in context. I've marked Jimin (hyung) in orange, JK refering to himself ("me") in purple, and "didn't come looking for" in pink. 찾다 (jatda) means to search for, look for.

Many K-armys have been pointing the same thing out, and I agree. The repetition of 안 찾고, to me, feels like he's making the same point in different situations.

When you were busy, I was so freaking (겁나) free

When I was busy, you were free

And in neither of these cases you came looking for me.

That's why Jimin jumps in immediately to defend himself in a whiny tone.

아니지 찾았지! That's not true, I did go looking for you! (The ending 지 indicates a reiteration, something both the speaker and recipient know as true.)

He took that personally LOL. But this makes so much sense in retrospective, think of all of those 2023 lives were JK was asking JM to come over, to do a live together, and JM's response was always "I'm busy" "Hyung needs to go" "You/I have a schedule." Jungkook was lonely without him. Jimin probably felt bad and did as much as he could to see him ("I did reach out!") - to the point he flew fourteen hours to spend quality time with JK. HOWEVER, this is just an interpretation. The lack of clear pronouns and particles makes this really hard to translate, which is why the show translator interpreted it as "when you were busy and I was free, I didn't call you." Both interpretations are valid, but giving their reactions and context, I feel like this one makes the most sense to me.

If we go with my interpretation, after that, I feel like Jimin tries to ease the conversation/justify himself by saying how him and Tae don't meet up either even if they videocall often. As if saying "I'm not pushing you aside, I'm really not meeting up with anyone else either". This makes Jungkook laugh, but he still wonders lightly "I don't think we would be seeing each other (either) if it weren't for this (trip/shoot)." I want to reiterate how lighthearted this comment is, he's simply wondering (but still teasing a little.)

But again, Jimin feels the need to defend himself "yah, that's why I (hyung) came here!" (again, he uses a grammar that highlights the information being said is something the two of them know, something obvious.) To me this felt very whiny/cute, like, "stop saying I didn't make time to see you! I'm literally right here!!" and I think JK gets the hint that if he keeps pushing JM might get upset, so he smoothes things over by repeating over and over again, "that's right, you came, you came."

It's a response to the previous "you weren't looking for me." You did come looking for me. You found me. We're okay now.

Finally.

[daybrightsims]

Alright, they've lived in my brain too long; Time to air out my thoughts about the polyamory in BG3

To give a little context: I am currently ethically non-monogamous with my primary partner of almost 7 years. I am not a monolith of thought when it comes to polyamory/ENM/open relationships. These are my own personal thoughts and feelings. I've also completed the game with Astarion and Halsin romanced. Spoilers ahead, read at your own risk.

TL;DR - I don't share the current opinion of whether or not Astarion is okay with Tav pursuing Halsin and the discourse around his agency and choices in the relationship are bumming me out and frustrating me.

I am getting increasingly frustrated about the conversation about Astarion being polyamorous/okay with Tav being with Halsin in the game, primarily because I think a lot of the "think pieces" are coming from 1) monogamous people who have only ever been monogamous, 2) monogamous people who have been burned/cheated on/forced into polyamory by a partner (I feel for ya'll, that wasn't okay), 3) people who are very VERY protective of Astarion, and 4) people who are blatantly uncomfortable with polyamory. My goal is not to invalidate anyone's experiences, but to share an alternate perspective.

I do think that Astarion is not only okay, but happy with Tav dating Halsin. I glean this from how he responds to being poly with ANY OTHER companion. If you ask him to share with literally anyone else, he will say no and give his reason.

Gale: He doesn’t want to be in a love triangle (which with Gale, it would be).

Lae’zel: He’s uncomfortable and Lae’zel would kill him (also true).

Wyll: He knows Wyll is old fashioned and monogamous.

Karlach: He knows Karlach’s feelings for you are strong and he doesn’t want to stand in the way of that (he even says he’d be cool with an arrangement but knows Karlach will need all of your affection based on what she’s been through).

Shadowheart: He would be cool IF Shadowheart had more experience and ya’ll were together longer. But he knows Shadowheart is fragile in her current state.

Minthara: He REALLY doesn’t like this idea and will dump you immediately.

I did also see that ***SPOILER*** they updated or are updating some of the spawn Astarion language to have issues with your affair with Mizora should you pursue it, and it requires a persuasion/deception role to keep you two together.

Up to this point in your relationship with Astarion, he has become more comfortable voicing his opinions and concerns with you. He is learning to value his autonomy and his non-physical relationships. He will tell you when he doesn’t want to do something. In fact, he’ll break up with you over pushing his boundaries. He is fine with you pursuing the Drow twins and fine with you sleeping with Haarlep, even comforts you when Haarlep uses your form. So when he says he is okay with you pursuing Halsin, he means it. Yes, he voices his insecurity with you that you may be pursuing Halsin because you and he haven’t had sex in a while. But he acknowledges that Halsin has experience in this arrangement and doesn’t pose a threat to your relationship. Plus, if you kiss Halsin in front of him, he’ll say “don’t mind me, I’m just enjoying the show.”

To me, the idea that this is the ONE thing that Astarion doesn't have agency over in an arc of showing he can speak up for himself is you sleeping with Halsin is an idea that takes more agency from Astarion. He is a grown man. A 240 YEAR OLD man. That trauma he's endured does not mean he needs to be babied or coddled because he can't make his own choices. I think that's an unfair assumption to put on him that Halsin and Tav being together is the ONLY thing he can't enforce his boundaries on.

If he didn't want you to be with Halsin, he would say no like every other monogamous character in the game.

If you want a good example of someone saying yes just because they want to keep you, look at Karlach. You can tell she is HEARTBROKEN when you ask her, but she says “I don’t want to lose you”. That is not an enthusiastic participant in a polyamorous relationship. Astarion says “yeah, go for it! Just give me some reassurance”. Polyamory is not immune to insecurity. I've asked for reassurance in my own relationships and so has my primary partner. That’s not unenthusiastic. That’s realistic as shit. If you ask him about the relationship after you finish his questline, he doesn’t need reassurance because you’re having sex again. That’s also super realistic.

Am I sensitive to this as someone who practices ENM? Almost certainly. It's hard to see a lifestyle I live be villainized and claimed to be "forced" onto characters. I was actually really excited that I could pursue both Astarion and Halsin, and that Halsin places so much importance on consent and not misleading your partner. And it sucks SOO much to see one of my favorite characters be reduced to "oh, he's only doing it because he's afraid to lose Tav." It makes me almost feel bad for liking the interactions between them and enjoying to option. Do I think people mean to make me or other poly people feel bad? No.

But it does.

Headcanons are headcanons. I get it. People are absolutely allowed to interpret the poly aspect of BG3 how they want to. People are allowed to feel uncomfy with how it's portrayed and not pursue it. But it still bums a queer ENM Astarion and Halsin lover out.

Now excuse me whilst I live out my Astarion x Halsin x Tav polycule fantasies in the form of fanfiction.

[korkorali]

The Misogyny of It All

So a lot of Della Duck Discourse is rehashed all the time, points are made again and again, but one thing that I almost never see people defend -and conversely, see people attack all the time- is The Line.

You know what I'm talking about. The Line from Glomtales.

"Your plans, your schemes, they only lead to bad things for your family. If you want to be a part of this family, you've gotta stop."

That one.

Now, what exactly Della was trying to get across with that line is a whole other can of worms that deserves its own post (basically she -and also the writers- horribly failed her Speech check).

What we're going over here is how that mimics a certain line from the last season, said by a parental figure to a child, that gets so much less flack. That, in fact, often gets paraded around as 'an interesting twist on a character.'

"You are not family!"

I have never seen people attack this line with the same amount of vitriol as they attack Della's, which is funny when they're the exact same line.

Actually, not even that- Scrooge's is worse.

It's more direct, it's literally yelled at Webby, it doesn't even attempt to address the issue Scrooge had (Webby blaming him for what happened to Della) and instead just straight-up attacks her as a person.

Now, to be fully honest- I like this line! I do genuinely think it's an interesting route for Scrooge to take, and is quite realistic to the grumpy old bastard. It's just funny that nobody ever comes to Webby's defense the same way they do for Louie.

Because the thing is- between Webby and Louie, one of these two has genuine, canonical issues with feeling like they're not a part of the family, like they're an outsider amongst those they love the most, like they don't belong.

And it's not Louie.

It is a consistent part of Webby's characterization that she feels like she doesn't belong. This gets touched on in all three seasons (and honestly, it could be argued that it gets worse after this moment).

Conversely, that just is not a part of Louie's canonical characterization. Even in the first episode of season 2, the one where Louie gets the closest to an 'I don't belong in this family' moment, it's less 'I don't belong here' and more 'fuck me I am terrible at adventuring'. And! It gets resolved in that episode!

(Of course, there is absolutely something to be said for how it's resolved- specifically by Scrooge encouraging him to be a scheming little bastard, which then thusly becomes the thing that threatens his family the most. Which would, logically, be a pretty big blow to his self-esteem. This isn't what I'm here to discuss right now but it is genuinely interesting.)

Louie never really shows an issue with feeling like he doesn't belong in his family. He shows a disconnect with his family at times, but in canon that never really evolves into a full-blown feeling of displacement. It does get close in Glomtales, but never quite reaches it.

So it's 'interesting' (read: not interesting) that Scrooge's fuckup here gets brushed away pretty easily. A lot of the time the line just straight-up isn't addressed, and when it is, often times it's about how "Oh he apologized to Webby offscreen, obviously."

Which.

Not he did not.

I mean, let me be clear: I don't mind it when that's the answer. It works for me to just brush it away if it's not meant to be the focus...

But Scrooge almost certainly didn't apologize for it.

As 'New Gods on the Block!' Showed us, Scrooge is downright awful at realizing when his actions have hurt people.

More likely than not, Scrooge would just assume that everything is fine and would avoid bringing it up at all costs because he'd feel awkward about it. Because he is, very importantly, not good at talking about things he doesn't want to talk about.

So why is it that Louie is always the one feeling like he doesn't belong? Why is it Della who is always a terrible parent for what she's said? Why are Webby's feelings of disconnect never really given the same gravity as Louie's? Why is Scrooge's blunder let off the hook super easily?

It just feels silly to me.

And, well.

Kinda like the fact that, since Scrooge is a guy and Webby's a girl, and Della is a woman and Louie's a boy, has something to do with it.

I'll happily give the benefit of the doubt and assume it's not deliberate, but quite frankly it is a double standard.

I think that people would be less upset with the Della Duck Discourse if Scrooge was held in a similarly critical position over what he's said and done. If it was acknowledged that Della isn't uniquely awful in what she says and does, and that a lot of the others have fucked up in extremely similar ways.

(I mean for fuck's sake, everybody goes on and on about how Della left her kids for ten years -which, for the record, wasn't what she wanted to do- but nobody ever criticizes Donald for taking the kids away from their family and never talking to them about Della- which is something he actively and deliberately chose to do)

TL;DR: The fact that Della gets intensely criticized for what she's said and done, but Donald and Scrooge are conversely celebrated as 'interesting' and 'complex' for what they've said and done, even when it brings harm to the kids, is a blatant double-standard. And if you don't think that this double-standard is bad or wrong for existing (or even that it Doesn't Actually Exist), instead of immediately claiming that it's a non-issue, maybe try to look inward and figure out why you really think that is.

[nyxwanderland]

♡ who cares when all i want is you?

character → gojo satoru story → angsty + fluffy at end, hurt/comfort, a bit of swearing, fem!reader, megumi calls reader nee-san, gojo and reader are 21 years old, mentions of hidden inventory gojo 'death' , gojo being a jerk tho :(  word count → 3.5k (my longest fic so far wohoo)

your ears perk up to the jingling of keys outside your front door, a sound of which you have been waiting for since this evening. the door swings open as you stand up from your place on the couch, turning the tv off which was used as a distraction to keep yourself awake, since it is way past midnight, to reveal gojo with a somewhat distraught expression on his face.

you clear your throat before speaking up, making sure to sound as calm as possible in order to not ruin his mood even further. "you're home…" the urge to want to talk about something that has been weighing on your mind suddenly dissipates due to the scowl your boyfriend has, plastered on his handsome features.

gojo doesn't answer and proceeds to shut the door and take his shoes off, sighing as if you are the last person he wants to talk to right now. you stand there, fiddling with your fingers, unsure of how to make him talk even if it's just a word.

"um, is everything alright?" you quietly ask. "do you want to talk about it over dinner?"

"god," gojo groans and it makes you flinch a bit, surprised to see his reaction. "can i have just one moment of peace? i literally just got off this stupid meeting right after exorcising a special grade in kyoto. i'm going—"

"what?" it comes off much more exasperated than you intended to. "what do you mean a special grade? and you were in kyoto? why didn't you tell me?"

gojo looks at you as if you had grown another head. "why? why is telling you necessary? do you want to interfere in my job and be in my way of everything?"

this. this is the very topic you were eager to express about just a few seconds ago.

"it's not about that," you explain, trying to keep your voice under control as megumi is fast asleep upstairs. "you've been leaving for difficult missions without at least informing me. hell, you're sometimes gone for a week long, no-contact tasks outside the city and i'm here waiting for you to get home without getting a wink of sleep, only to find out from yaga-sensei or someone else!"

you take a deep breath and slowly approach gojo's towering figure, your hand reaching out to hold his. you look up at his eyes, but they are shielded by his pitch-black shades.

"i'm worried for you, satoru," your voice wavers as a lump forms in your throat that is impossible to swallow away. "i'm scared something might happen to you… like that day."

gojo knows what day you are referencing. the day when he almost lost his life. but it was also the day when he finally understood what was holding him back to really become the man he is now.

he wants to understand your concern, he really does. He always pays attention to the things that trouble you and takes measures to free you from them. this time, however, he's having a difficult time in realizing that he himself is the root of your distress at this moment. all because he thinks (or actually knows) that—

"i'm the strongest," gojo states blatantly. his face doesn't express any sort of emotion right now. it's simply blank. a look you are not used to as you usually aren't the one receiving such. "i'm better than whatever i was that day, practically invincible—"

"satoru," you breathe out frustratingly as a plea to listen to you. "you get careless sometimes. you never know what's going to happen the next minute—"

"you know what?" gojo interrupts you, seeming rather annoyed with this conversation. In reality, that's not the case. he just wants this discourse to end this instant and talk about it later when he is in a better state of mind. before he can even process his words in his head, they slip out, completely opposite of what he was planning to say…

"you're just jealous of me because you will never get to my level no matter how hard you try. so why don't you focus more on your weaknesses and not project your insecurities onto me, okay?"

gojo brushes past you, knowing he fucked up real bad the moment he spat those venomous words and watched your, the love of his life's, face express how your heart broke into a million pieces, your eyes brimming with tears in the process.

you don't say anything, either to stop him or lash out at him. you merely stand in place and watch your vision blur as tears trickle down your face. a choked sob escapes your lips and you cover your mouth to prevent from making any more sound so gojo can't hear them.

little do you know, gojo hears you the first time. however, he makes no attempt to run back to you and hug you for comfort, since he knows he doesn't deserve to feel your touch.

☆☆☆☆☆

gojo wakes up to an empty bed, for the fourth time this week. It has been this way since the argument four days ago. you have been sleeping at the couch, not wanting to feel his presence at all. all you do is make breakfast for megumi (who is extremely uncomfortable by the silence at home) before dropping him to school and go to jujutsu high by yourself, occasionally grabbing a cup of coffee if you feel like it.

and gojo hates it. even though he knows he deserves this silent treatment from you, he is dying to reconcile with you, apologize and listen to what you have to say. every time he tries to approach you, you dodge him while not even sparing a glance at him.

"she asked me not to tell you," yaga says when gojo asked him since he couldn't find you. you wouldn't answer his calls or messages anyway, so it was useless for him to reach for his phone, leading to him asking the teacher. "but she'll be back by 7."

gojo sighs, partially in annoyance and partially defeat. he decides to go home as he was done for the day and wait for you then. he trusts you to return home safely by then.

until a loud thunder roars late in the evening at 8pm, when he was helping megumi with his homework, which you'd normally be the one doing it. it is an hour later than you were supposed to be home. a feeling of uncertainty washes over gojo and he begins to feel jittery.

"when is nee-san coming home?" the little boy asks. "why haven't you made up yet? you definitely did something wrong."

the man sitting across him at the dining table exhales in sorrow. "i'm going to talk it out today, don't you worry."

"i'm worried for nee-san only," megumi retorts as he gathers his books and shoves them into his backpack. "she's never looked this sad. she's doing that fake smile just to make me feel better."

gojo remains silent, feeling his heart sink even deeper every minute. he's listening to megumi but at the same time getting even more anxious when the rain outside starts to pour harder.

"i want to see her genuinely smiling again. don't you dare break her heart."

i'm afraid i've done that already, he thinks and watches the raven-haired boy go to his room. but i'll fix this.

minutes pass but there is still no sign of your return. your boyfriend paces around the living room, waiting for the familiar sound of the door clicking open. when the clock strikes 8:50pm, he grabs his coat and keys and dashes out the door after informing megumi.

he runs in the pouring rain, his infinity on so he isn't drenched. he hopes you are in the location he suspects you to be, a place where you usually visit when there are a lot of things in your mind. you usually go there with gojo, but the circumstances cause you to be alone, on the ground with knees clutched to your chest and your head resting on them, as your whole body gets soaked in rainwater.

gojo is confirmed to be right as he finds you in such a position. he looks at you intently, not knowing what to say. he slowly approaches your curled up figure before stopping right in front of you and crouching to meet your level. he doesn't realize he subconsciously turns his infinity off, leaving him drenched like you.

he quietly calls out your name, as if you'd break if he's even a little bit louder.

you had immediately noticed his presence when you heard his fast paced footsteps towards you before coming to a halt. you don't want to speak to him but at the same time you do since it has been four excruciating days of entirely no words exchange. you want to hold him, kiss him, forgive him. however, right now, it suddenly feels too hard to raise your head and make eye contact with his gorgeous blue ones.

the ones you'd stare at for eternity.

gojo calls you once again. "let's go home and talk it out, love. i don't want to hear your silence anymore."

your voice comes out muffled, partly due to your head buried into your knees and partly because of the raindrops' loud pitter-patter on the ground. but it is loud enough for the man before you to hear it.

"i hate you."

"you don't," your boyfriend responds in a surprisingly calm manner. "i know you don't. you still made breakfast for me and bought my coffee and left it at my desk. you still asked yaga-sensei about my future missions and watched over me when you thought I wasn't looking. baby, i love you as much as you do—"

"then why?!" you cry out, finally raising your head and standing up —gojo following suit — to reveal your red, puffy eyes and the tears that could've been mistaken as rain. "why is it so hard for you to communicate? why would you rather hurt me by saying things you don't mean than talking about how hard work gets? why don't you want me to take care of you the way you take care of me? why don't you ever listen to me?!"

you break into sobs, unable to continue yelling at him any longer. gojo does the best thing he could think of right now — hold you in his arms as you cry out all your feelings.

"am I not good enough…?" your voice quiets down, sniffling.

"n-no! please no, don't you ever think about yourself like that!" you feel his arms grip around your body tighter. you could hear his voice shaking, and you wonder if it's because of the cold or that he's in tears.

it's the latter. gojo could care less about the rain and cold this moment.

he buries his face into the crook of your neck, kissing there. "i just… don't want to burden you with my problems all the time. i'm always pissed off when there's a meeting with the higher ups. i'm always tired after missions. it's the same thing over and over again. and i want to be the strongest for you. i just can't dump all—"

he is cut off when you break away from the hug. he begins to say something, maybe for you to come close to him again, but you spoke up before he could, infuriated. "are you fucking serious right now, satoru?"

"…what?"

"i don't care if you're the strongest sorcerer in the world! to me, you are just satoru. i don't have any wild expectations for you to fulfill. you could destroy a huge ass curse, i don't give a fuck because the satoru i fell in love with in high school was a boy who loves digimon, eats sweets as his meals and is literally the most stupid guy I have ever met!"

"hey, I'm not stupid…"

"that's not the point! i mean, it is— oh my god, shut up!"

gojo may have said that to make you giggle somehow, as he usually does (yet miserably failed), however his heart swelled the moment you said the first sentence. he has heard every sort of compliment or praise in his life, but this is something he never thought he'd hear ever. for once, he is allowed to be satoru. his eyes start welling up with tears just at the thought of being wanted.

it's not that he hasn't felt loved and wanted with you, but it's finally the feelings being put into the words that did it for him.

you take a deep breath and look at your beloved for a moment. he's soaking wet, the ends of his snow-white hair dripping. he left his glasses at home, so you see those sky blue eyes properly for the first time in a while. his eyes hold so much adoration for you that it melts your heart; he looks just like a small puppy.

the corners of your lips curl upwards after what felt like forever, finally smiling. gojo's eyes widen at the sight.

oh, you look so ethereal right now. he wishes that he could be the every drop that cascades down your face so he could kiss the rosy apples of your cheeks with gentle care. then he realizes he could do that anyway and suddenly yet delicately holds your face in his hands, brushing his thumbs over your face.

"satoru," you speak up again. "you know what love really is? It's the art of sharing your happiness and sorrow both with someone else, without the fear of being judged or thrown away. just as you want to be there for me and protect me, i want to do the same for you. you are allowed to talk about how horrible of a day you had or about things that are stressing you out. i will anything that makes you feel better, just say the word."

"mhmm," gojo nods his head, squishing your cheeks while he pouts. "i'm so sorry… for everything. for not communicating and saying really mean stuff to you I didn't mean—"

you place your hands on top of his. "i know. i forgive you. but, i was hurt. i'm not jealous of you, dumbass. how dare you say i'm weak and insecure!"

his facial expression visibly turns into regret. "I'm really sorry, baby.

"and please, tell me when you're leaving for missions. even a text if it's an emergency. i don't want to lose you again."

now he looks like he is going to cry any second. "okay... i'm such a jerk, aren't i?."

"that you are."

"hey! you were supposed to comfort me!"

"nuh-uh. you deserve this one."

"oh well, i did realize it today when you left like that." he chuckles. "where did you go anyway?"

"i was here all this time," you bite his fingers and gojo let out a loud yelp (it doesn't even hurt, he just loves to see your victorious smile). "i was waiting for you."

"what if i didn't come find you?"

"i would've have broken up with you."

gojo winces and pouts. "that's so mean…"

a loud thunder suddenly breaks you from your little banter. "we should get home. we're totally getting sick."

"i'll make it up to you, babyyyy."

oh my god hi guys!! it has been a year since i've posted lmaooo i will try to post more now i'm trying lol but it's so good to finally get out of my writer's block and got to writing (i actually was very lazy to write but i had these scenarios in my head already lmao) borders by @cafekitsune <3