#and it's kind of terrifying the more I think about it

[catboybiologist]

Yay I'm going to get all Political and angry again.

So pretty much every trans American is probably aware of the Sarah McBride situation at this point, but here's the bullet point summary if needed for anyone else:

Sarah McBride gets elected to the House as the first transgender member of Congress in US history.

Republicans predictably flip their shit. They pass internal rules of conduct that prohibit trans people from using bathrooms of their gender and stating that bathroom use is defined by AGAB. It obviously singles out McBride, but I believe there are trans staffers that are also affected.

McBride issues a statement that she will abide by these rules, and pretty much only use the bathroom directly associated with her physical office. She issues a statement saying she "wasn't elected for bathrooms" and will instead fight in issues that matter, with a milquetoast criticism of Republicans for wasting time on this.

Many trans Americans are predictably scared and disappointed by this, especially because this internal house rule is being used as a blueprint for more extensive laws, including a likely ban on trans people in gendered bathrooms in all federal land and buildings (including, notably for me, national parks. Which breaks my heart, but that's a different rant.)

There's been a lot of disappointment and criticism of McBride over this. The general leftist reaction has been criticism. There's lots of people that have expressed disappointment or rage, including Erin Reed, and also more "personality" type people like Vaush and Jessie Gender.

Now.

I'm disappointed too.

But. And please keep reading before chewing me out for being an apologist.

I think we can all understand that McBride is in an impossible situation. If she fights this too hard, then it vindicates the Republican rhetoric that Dems are crazy trans obsessed leftists. But there's a fear that this will only lead to more infringements of rights for trans people. McBride is completely stuck, and is a junior, freshly elected member of Congress who is trying to figure out how to make her voice the most effective.

I am so, so fucking tired of rights being ceded one by one. So I'm disappointed. But yeah, I understand McBride's statement.

But there's just one tiny. Eeny weeny. Minor. Itty Bitty question having over all of this. Just one little concern.

Where.

The fuck.

Are the rest of the Democrats?!?!?!?

There is a PAINFULLY fucking easy solution to all of this. McBride needs backing, solidarity, and other people to speak for her. If she's worried about her voice being effective, and being branded as the crazy trans representative, then step the fucking up, you spineless liberal slimebags.

AOC is the only one that I know of that has expressed any real opposition or anger. Her statements are getting aaallll the airtime.

But the real story is McBride's sentiment being echoed amongst the entire party. This is absolutely some kind of official platform. The fucking grumbling, milquetoast finger waving and "well I don't like this, but there's nothing to be done! Anyways"

Of fucking course minorites are abandoning the left. The message they're sending is "we'll abandon you with the most pathetic of excuses. We don't give a shit." Trimming groups out of their support one by one.

McBride is doing the impossible calculus of trying to be the most effective on the house floor. It's an insane task for a trans woman. And yeah, she got it wrong this time. But where the fuck is the anger for her cis colleagues? Why the fuck aren't people angry and terrified for everyone that let this shit happen?

As much as people love the narrative of the line wolf resistor, resistance takes coordination, effort, and solidarity. Without that, what would McBride raising opposition even be? One representative against the hundreds of others.

And yeah, of course I didn't expect any better from the Democratic party. But you should be disappointed and mad at your representative, not just McBride.

[daddyd0nt]

I don’t disagree with a lot of what you are saying and I feel your heart is in the right place. And unfortunately violence against AFAB people by AMAB people is common enough that we need to segregate first by sex. Even if you are intersex (I am technically intersex myself) you are in almost every case designated either AFAB or AMAB (medical intervention to correct this and make an intersex body fully resemble one sex is usually abusive and medically unnecessary but almost always the person will have the traits of one sex more than the other). I’m not at all against another split and normalizing 4 spaces or having more gender neutral options than sex specific ones but AFAB people need to have their own space to maintain safety. Again these spaces are not organic or natural, they are something we put in place because AMAB people proved they couldn’t be trusted in mixed spaces.

And it sucks like I genuinely know it sucks but there is no completely safe way to allow AMAB people into AFAB spaces. Even if it results in 1/1000000 AFAB people being attacked by the one bad AMAB apple in the bunch, any more than 0 women is unacceptable as a sacrifice to validate AMAB identity/feelings. I spend a fair amount of time institutionalized and having the general spaces be mixed is scary enough I would never feel safe in a high security psych ward if I had to let them give me drugs to sleep at night and I would be left in the room with somebody who could not only theoretically rape but possibly impregnate me. AMAB people have spent all of human culture making their penises into weapons, I’m not overreacting to feel like in that kind of situation an AMAB person is armed but I’m not, I don’t feel any better about a possibly criminally insane person sleeping next to me with a penis than a knife even if I’m confident that they won’t use it to hurt me the fact that the opportunity is there and I can’t defend myself or even hurt than as bad as they could hurt me is enough to make it totally unacceptable.

Also as a masc presenting/gnc AFAB person I’m terrified of the prospect of forcing trans men into AMAB spaces especially hospitals also and prisons AFAB trans people have a greater chance of being abused especially by AMAB people than AMAB trans people do. One of the biggest factors in my detransition was the face that I was regularly in and out of institutions and also involved in a fair amount of flying too close to the sun legally for a while so the threat of being locked up in an AMAB space due to my gender presentation was really real to me.

I agree that most of our problems are due to capitalism, but patriarchy exists even independently of capitalism just like racism and ableism do.

But honestly our hearts are in the same place I also want to see everybody succeed and feel good and spend the vast majority of the time looking for similarities and opportunities to bond with each other and fight together for common causes. I think trans and cis women can fight 99% of our fights together and love each other and genuinely be comrades. I’m absolutely in support of trans people creating their own trans-specific safe spaces that is wonderful I couldn’t be more behind wanting a safe and comfortable and validating space for all my wonderful trans siblings. But we cannot throw away something as material as the physical safety of AFAB bodies to validate something as nebulous as AMAB feelings. I’m really not coming from a place of hate or even dislike at all like I said I fully support the creation of safe and validating spaces for trans people but that can’t come at the expense of the safe spaces AFAB people have fought for.

"OP is a terf" is a thought-terminating cliche meant to keep you from questioning the status quo and keep you afraid of being labeled a heretic should you come to your own conclusions about anything.

[alchemistc]

Everything's so damn dark when the blindfold slips off that for a second she can't see a thing.

Don't panic. Don't scream. Don't hurt the baby.

Something groans at her feet and she startles straight into the pipe behind her head.

"'lo?" A voice asks, familiar enough to give her pause, and she wonders for a moment if this is a joke, if this is a trick, if this - "s'there?"

His words are slurred. A concussion, maybe, then. Great. Biggest man she knows and he's gonna be a useless pile of puke to her.

Don't panic, Maddie reminds herself, and then she starts giggling.

"Tommy?"

He groans an affirmative.

"Oh good. I feel a lot better about getting overpowered, now."

A hand grabs for her ankle and Maddie bites back a scream. It's Tommy's hand, big and warm and - fully unbound, which feels a little unfair. "Cunt drugged me," he says, then pauses. Squeezes her ankle. "Sorry for the language."

"No, it's, uh - I think it's warranted this time."

Maddie can't remember exactly how it'd happened to her. Had she been hit? Is she injured? She does a mental tally. Her lip feels swollen. Nose and eyes feel fine, though, so maybe she bit it? Neck, shoulders, all good. She's been bending her elbows and wrists just fine, she just doesn't have the leverage to do anything about the zip ties keeping her affixed to the probably pipe behind her. Hips, legs, knees. She wiggles her toes and in the darkness Tommy chuckles. "Everything accounted for?"

He must have done his own check while she was working through hers. She can hear him rustling around. "I'm still incredibly mad at you, but it's nice to hear your voice," she says, and Tommy goes still. "Tommy? All good?"

"...why are you mad at me?"

"Like you don't know?" Oh. Actually maybe she is more mad than she is glad. "You broke my brother's heart, idiot. I don't have any more room in my entire house for the coping mechanism he's come up with." She kicks, a little. Tommy grunts and shifts. "I hope that hit something painful and non-essential to our escape."

"He's - he'll be fine."

"What exactly is your definition of fine? Because it's been a few months and he's still bringing me baked goods on a bi-weekly basis."

"Bi-weekly like -."

"Do not get pedantic on me, Kinard. Two times a week. What's your status? Moving parts all still moving?"

"I think my balls have taken a vacation, but that's more a reflection on how terrifying you are than on this current situation."

Flippant. Sarcasm in the face of Maddie trying to get a full picture. Buck had called him funny and charming. Maddie's second kick doesn't land, but only because he's got a hand wrapped around her foot. "Once we're out of here, I'm gonna punch you in the face."

He hums. "For the balls comment, or the cunt thing?"

Maddie shrugs. Remembers that he can't see it. "Which part of 'broke my brother's heart' are you not getting?"

He sounds like he's moving gingerly. She can hear heavy bulky fabric rustle and she wonders if he's in three layers like usual. She could use something warm. "I - figured he'd be over it by now."

Maddie snorts. If she had to make a guess, Tommy glowers at the noise. "Dumbass."

And then it hits her. "The cunt? Skinny, brunette, pretty? Kind of...angular face?"

Tommy hums and takes her weight as she tries to kick again. "Sounds like her."

"Oh, Buck's gonna be pissed and embarrassed. She's rebound attempt number two."

Tommy's silent long enough that Maddie has to check in. He hums, and goes back to silence. "Rebound attempt?"

"If you hadn't noticed, we've actually been kidnapped, so maybe I can save your relationship afterwards?"

"I think she was trying to kill me," Tommy admits. "Otherwise why am I unbound in this shitty Saw knockoff?"

Maddie feels some extra pieces dropping into place. Oh, Buck is never gonna live this down actually.

"Can you overpower her if she comes in?"

"If she's not quick to try to drug me again. If I can figure out where the fucking door is. If -."

"A yes or no is fine. Pretty sure she's the Bay Butcher, if that helps you answer."

His pause is long. "...maybe," he says, and accepts the kick this time without block or protest.

[hannieehaee]

Hii can i request about an s/o who is scared to have sex ? ><

s/o is scared to have sex

content: mentions of sex, anxiety, etc.

wc: 648

a/n: thank u for sending a request!! hope i did this justice<3

masterlist

seungcheol -

he understands the intimacy and anxiety that comes with sex, so he'd never want to make you feel like he expects it out of the relationship. would be willing to go as far as you want, making sure to take it as slow as you wish in order to alleviate your fears.

jeonghan -

somehow he'd find it adorable. thinks you're the epitome of pureness and innocence and his depraved mind is into that in some day. that aside, he'd never actually pressure you into anything. would be the sweetest guy and walk you through every step if you ever did it.

joshua -

the fact that you're scared lowkey makes him kind of scared bc what if he fucks up somehow?? wont even bring up sex unless you do it first, not wanting you to feel like he might be pressuring you.

jun -

he'd never thought about how or why sex could be scary, but now that you mention it, he'd kind of feel terrified of somehow making it even more scary for you. if you ever decided to do it with him, he'd go step by step through it, talking you through it all.

soonyoung -

you'd probably have to explain to him why it is that you're scared or put off by it. sex is usually not really on his mind, so the thought would've never occurred to him. literally pinky swears that that he doesn't care how or when (if ever) you'll have sex. he just likes you as you are.

wonwoo -

he'd be completely understanding and would want you to express how and why you felt that way, constantly reassuring you he was listening and in support of you. doesnt care if you ever sleep with him or not, he loves you without the condition of sex.

jihoon -

a little shocked bc he wasn't aware some people were afraid of it, but would immediately mentally slap himself bc of course you could be scared of it! sex can be scary. he'd want to reassure you that he didn't think any differently of you due to your fear and would he willing to either try it at your pace or never try to do it with you.

seokmin -

coos at you bc when does he not? starts apologizing to you for some reason, feeling like maybe it's his fault but the two of you eventually land on doing things you're both comfortable with! it doesnt matter to him how far you go (or don't).

mingyu -

he gets it! it's such an intimate thing and sometimes negative feelings can be attached to it, so he'd totally understand. would never in a million years even think of pressuring you. if sex ever makes an appearance in the relationship, it'll be bc you decided on it. he'll give you all control.

minghao -

he seems the type to try and dissect things through conversation, and he'd wanna do the same thing in this situation. would want to understand the root of the fear and support you through it. he'd go as far as you want intimately, never pushing you further than you wish.

seungkwan -

would be apologetic when you bring it up, thinking maybe something he said or did inspired the feeling. afterwards, he'd simply want to offer a sympathetic ear, wanting to understand how far you'd wanna go (if at all) and never wanting to cross any boundaries.

vernon -

very cool about it. makes that 'ah' noise when you explain it, understanding why you may feel that way. will be very communicative about how he feels about it too, giving you the opportunity to be open and comfortable about it!!

chan -

lowkey feels intimidated by your fear. terrified to disappoint or somehow hurt you during sex. would be completely panicked at the thought, so it'd become an endless loop of him comforting you and you comforting him in return.

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Do you have any tips on how characters react after a heat in the moment first kiss?

Hey there! I'm so glad you reached out about depicting characters' reactions after an unexpected first kiss. This is such an important and tricky moment to get right in any romance story.

I don't talk enough about romance, so I've very excited to write a blog post about this, especially since in almost all my writing projects I utilize a romantic subplot.

Understanding the Emotional Impact

First things first, it's important to recognize just how powerful and transformative that first kiss can be for your characters, even if it's spur-of-the-moment or unplanned. A kiss like that has the power to shift the entire dynamic between two people, unlocking a whole new level of vulnerability, intimacy, and emotional intensity.

Think about it - your characters have probably been building up tension, attraction, and unspoken feelings for each other over time. And then, in one electric moment, all of that comes bubbling to the surface. Suddenly, everything changes. The world seems to slow down, and all that matters is the connection between them.

Whether your characters have been pining for this moment or it takes them completely by surprise, that first touch of their lips is guaranteed to trigger a whirlwind of emotions. Excitement, nervousness, relief, uncertainty - it's a veritable emotional rollercoaster.

And of course, the way each character responds will depend on their individual personality, past experiences, and overall mindset. A shy, cautious character might be utterly flustered and overwhelmed. A bold, adventurous one might be thrilled and eager for more. And someone with trust issues or a painful romantic history might panic and pull away.

The key is to really get inside your characters' heads and hearts, understanding how this monumental moment resonates with them on a deep level. That's what's going to make their reactions feel raw, authentic, and achingly real for your readers.

Crafting Nuanced Reactions

(The examples I use are very cliche, and personally not my writing style, but they're simply for your reference to get a rough idea of what I'm trying to indicate)

Okay, now that we've established the emotional gravity of that first kiss, let's dive into some specific techniques for portraying your characters' reactions. Here are a few ideas:

Focus on the sensations. When a character experiences something as intense as an unexpected first kiss, their physical responses are going to be heightened. Capture the racing heartbeat, the trembling hands, the tingling skin - all those little visceral details that make the moment palpable.

For example (Very cliche but, just for reference): "Her lips were soft and warm against his, sending a shiver down his spine. His heart pounded in his ears, fingers trembling as he cupped her cheek, hardly daring to breathe."

Showcase their inner turmoil. Don't just describe what's happening externally - give us a window into your character's jumbled thoughts and feelings. Are they overjoyed? Confused? Terrified? Let us see the full emotional spectrum unfolding.

Like this: "Panic rose in her chest as his lips met hers, every nerve ending firing at once. What was happening? This couldn't be real - it had to be some kind of dream. But the way her skin tingled, the way her stomach fluttered, told her this was very much reality."

Use body language and subtle reactions. Characters don't always have to respond with grand, over-the-top gestures. Sometimes the most meaningful reactions come through in the little, unconscious movements - a shy glance, a gentle touch, a subtle smile.

For instance: "For a long moment, they simply stared at each other, frozen. Then, slowly, a smile tugged at the corners of her lips, eyes sparkling with a mix of wonder and delight."

Lean into the awkwardness. First kisses, even magical ones, can also be a little clumsy and uncertain. Embrace that sense of fumbling vulnerability - it makes the moment all the more endearing and relatable.

Something like: "Their noses bumped as they leaned in, hearts racing. He hesitated, suddenly unsure, but then her hand slid around the back of his neck, pulling him closer. Their lips met in a tentative, exploratory kiss that sent tingles down his spine."

Contrast reactions between characters. If you have two characters with very different personalities or perspectives, lean into that contrast to create compelling dramatic tension. How might a guarded, cynical character react compared to an optimistic romantic?

For example: "She froze, eyes wide with shock. This was the last thing she'd expected - to be kissed by her best friend, of all people. Panic fluttered in her chest, desperate to pull away. But then she saw the vulnerability in his gaze, the slight tremble in his hands, and her heart melted. Slowly, hesitantly, she kissed him back."

The key is to get creative, have fun, and be able to let your characters' unique voices and perspectives shine through.

Additional Resources

And of course, don't hesitate to reach out if you have any other questions! I'm always happy to chat more about anything writing related.

--Rin T.

[gwemmieee]

Of course! You've made some good points here as well.

The more I think about this writing, the more I realize that what happens *during* transition is kind of a blind spot here, or at least wasn't given as much focus. It makes me wonder if maybe there is a general tendency in the community to gloss over that stage when comparing trans fem and trans masc experiences.

It makes some sense I think, because we trans fems can be very preoccupied with the continuous traumas of what we have to put up with for the rest of our lives, regardless of--and sometimes because of--how successfully we can assimilate into womanhood in society. And maybe also sometimes envious of what looks like (and tbh probably usually is) greener grass for specifically trans men who've more or less "finished" transitioning.

And transition itself is a stage that most of us spent kind of in hiding, terrified of everyone, and for good reason. So there's less of us actually seeing the transitions that trans mascs go through, and more of us just seeing some of them begin transition and then seeing others who have already reached most of their goals, with very little experience with that in-between.

wait where are all the trans guys

Historical-anthropological research, especially the work taking place before the 21st century or outside the West, tends to focus entirely on transfeminized groups. So when reading these works it’s pretty natural to ask — wait, where are all the trans guys? This is a reasonable question with a few clear answers; this post is something quick I can point people to.

The central condition of transfeminized groups' absorption into feminist activism has been to accept a kind of symmetry with select TME groups through the understanding of trans femininity as "gender variance." Under this framework, transfeminized groups' social position can be understood as a consequence of gender variance and some abstract violation of cis norms; this was proposed by people like Susan Stryker and Emi Koyama [1], among others, and continues to structure trans inclusion today. It also fails when considering several basic aspects of these groups:

Transfeminized groups are associated with hyperspecific labor practices, most frequently sex work, but also hair styling, drag, makeup artistry, acting, and other forms of 'gender work.'

Metropolitan transfeminized groups appear in the archive as highly clustered and active groups connected with, but usually intensely split from, the masculine men they fucked.

Transfeminized groups become a kind of 'third gender' on an epistemic level; they are Known to wider society before and after “coming out” in a way that USAmerican transmasculinity has only recently vaguely approached.

Transfeminized groups are heavily clustered in labor practice, social organization, and epistemic position, although this is not universal -- certain strains of USAmerican transfemininity have become a bit more labor-agnostic in the last two decades, not-so-coincidentally alongside more general currents of gender-labor liberation. The messy strains of trans male identity recovered from the archive and from current practice tend to lack labor, social, and epistemic coherence. As Aaron Devor notes in FTM, his 1997 history of FTM men, trans men in the 20th century tended to transition out of cities and into the countryside, finding low-profile places they could exist in. These practices, and the earlier "female husband" practices described by Jen Manion, relied on the labor-agnostic nature of transitioned manhood in order to disappear from public life. Transfeminized groups, on the other hand, are categorically restricted from the main form of economic life historically available to women -- marriage. Their labor practices are heavily constrained and have almost always revolved around some form of 'gender work:' as Susan Stryker put it, you need to get people to pay you for being a trans woman. Transmasculinity pushes away feminized restrictions on labor; trans femininity is labor.

Because transfeminized identities are so often labor-identities, and because their specific brand of 'gender work' and hormonal/silicone/surgical embodiment usually requires both specialized training and community support, nearly every metropolitan center in the world developed highly centralized transfeminized groups over the course of the 20th century [2]. As Ochoa notes, this visibility is partially due to epistemic visibility (everyone knows what a trans is), partially due to group structure (people work and train each other), and partially due to the selectively visible demands of finding clients. Fledglings come in with a way of being that is always already visible to society, but changing the body to match and learning how to fully enact and slowly contest the third-gender labor-identity they've been given takes a lot of community support.

So as labor-identities, transfeminized groups tend to a level of labor/community/epistemic coherence that has no clear counterpart. The news archives we have of trans men (as seen in Manion) position them as singular and easily absorbed back into the female gestalt; the cisgender feminist/gayguy/AIDS researchers that form the bulk of historical-anthropological work saw them as unnecessary to their grand theories of gender; the communities themselves have been materially fractured and, for the groups that rise out of lesbian-feminist activism, only partially committed to their own existence. The result of all this is that there is no clear equivalent to the "transfeminized groups" of Jules-Gill Peterson; there is no symmetry to trannydom, and while additional work to unearth trans manhood in the archive remains extremely valuable, sometimes the necessary level of label-coherence and social existence just isn't there.

[1] Stryker, "My Words to Victor Frankenstein Above the Village of Chamounix: Performing Transgender Rage," Emi Koyama, "The Transfeminist Manifesto" [2] As seen in Namaste, Invisible Lives, Prieur, "Mema's House, Mexico City," Kulick, "Travesti," Newton, "Mother Camp," Ochoa, "Queen for a Day," Hegarty, "The Made-Up State," and plenty more. Most of these works came out in the late 80s and 90s due to a combination of the feminist "third gender" craze, the burgeoning field of masculinity studies, and AIDS.

[httpskuzuu]

L”m so happy your back! I would like a request a yandere! Pm Dazai (18 yrs old) with a darling who’s naïve and innocent (of course he kidnaps them) how would he react to a such pure person! Thank you for taking this request.

Yandere!PM!Dazai with a naive and innocent reader

This is the first time I write for PM!Dazai (and I do headcanons), don't kill me

Yandere!PM!Dazai x Reader

Idk english, I don't like english, let me

summary: the title :D

tw: kidnapping, corruption of innocence, stalking, death (not reader or Dazai), physical and psychological abuse, maybe something else but idk

Honestly, I don't know how you got into this situation.

I can only think of two options as to how you ended up getting his attention: Dazai was looking for someone like you or you just surprised him.

With the first option, I guess he wanted to get away momentarily from everything he had known in his life, get someone who wasn't as fucked up as he was.

Or you just came unexpectedly into his life, maybe you got involved in one of his missions without having any idea.

Either way, Dazai was dazzled by your innocence.

You are the opposite of him and he wants to keep it that way, he knows what this world is capable of doing to pure souls like yours and he is not going to allow that.

First he won your trust, it was easy, you trusted everyone too fast, you didn't even doubt him in spite of his strange attitude that didn't let you see beyond him.

You never realized the danger in front of your eyes and that only made Dazai adore you more.

He would know every little part of your life, the names of all your friends and the places you go to, he always has an eye on you.

He would keep your friends and family away from you, he's not afraid to kill, threaten or torture others for that purpose.

Deep down, all he wants to do is to corrupt you.

He wants to be the one to destroy your innocence, to show you the cruelty of the world, even if it is contradictory to his initial purpose.

Maybe that's the reason he kidnapped you.

And oh god, that's when the real fun begins.

He doesn't care about your opinion, not in the slightest, and punishments are just around the corner.

Forced affection would be a normal thing, he sees you as a kind of safe place where he can be a bit more vulnerable, just a bit 🤏

Still, I doubt he would ever let you see his true feelings.

That would only be way down the road in your relationship, when Dazai can have complete confidence that you'll never escape.

Yandere!Dazai is not easy, least of all if he's PM Dazai, but your attitude would make it somewhat more tolerable.

Being such a naive little thing, he can trust you more easily.

Plus you're terrified of him, so you don't even think about running away.

But if you were to try… Well, remember what I said about punishments being just around the corner? Then get ready for torture.

Breaking bones, beating you unconscious, isolating you for days, starving and thirsting you, etc.

Although he usually mistreats you as well, it's all more psychological.

He wants to make you see the evil, to see you break and cry.

Makes him have a mix between sadistic joy and regret.

He really feels very guilty for everything he does, for seeing you in such a broken state.

He would never tell you, the closest you get to that would be a strangely silent Dazai cuddling like a koala bear to you.

I hope you have enough mental stamina to endure your stay with Dazai

Oh, and if he sees that he's broken you until there's nothing left of the original you or that all your innocence is gone, maybe he'll kill you because he's bored 😀

The image of your friend would not leave your head. He was immobile, cold, dead.

It was the first time you saw a corpse in real life, it made your blood run cold. Especially because you saw him die and you couldn't do anything about it.

Dazai killed him, after many hours of torture, one shot in his head and his screams stopped. You saw the blood spill on the floor along with pieces of flesh. You did not vomit because of the absence of food in your stomach, but the nausea was there.

He wouldn't let you take your eyes off him, even when he was torturing him. When his fingernails were being pulled out and his skin was burning. You had to keep watching or the torture would transfer to you.

You couldn't save him. Your throat was torn from screaming, but he was still dead. Would his corpse still be in that dark warehouse? Would that be his grave? At least you would have liked to have been able to give him a proper funeral, not abandon him.

You didn't understand how someone could be as evil as Dazai was. Your friend did nothing, he just worried about your disappearance. Now, because of you, he too would become a missing person.

The tears were still wet when an extra weight was placed on the bed. You refused to move, afraid that he would take you back to continue seeing those horrible things, things you can't even describe without breaking down in tears.

He lies behind you and wraps his arms around you, his hands that caused so many murders gently holding your body.

You never thought before that the perpetrators of these acts could be ordinary people, people you would trust and befriend. But they could be, the proof of that was Dazai, someone too young to be killing.

You are conflicted by the situation, you empathize with Dazai. You want to understand him and know what led him to be the way he is today, try to justify him, but he killed your friend. The dilemma of whether he deserved a forgiveness eats at you inside. Could his actions be justified by his past? Maybe Dazai is just a victim like you.

Be that as it may, apparently you still have time to think because he doesn't plan to let you go anytime soon.

I am sleep deprived

[rhiannonsknife]

https://x.com/femmeflix/status/1852896350481825792?s=46&t=PsXAfTCJv59FchQIdn66aA

I’ve been obsessed with Jackie/your Jackie fics and thoughts lately.

This with Jackie in the wilderness though..? Maybe an AU where she never died and find excuses to keep you “warm at night” in winter? You’re in the farthest corner of the cabin when she starts grinding against you softly. The others are asleep but you still have to be quiet, silently sighing into the other’s mouth as you get each other off…

-🪩

thank you 🪩 anon!! i probably added way too much background lore, but i hope this is what you had in mind <3 nsfw below so: mdni!

i feel like, unlike shauna, jackie would not be so in denial about how touch starved she is. i think she’s well aware that she needs somebody’s comfort, yet ever since doomcoming, she and shauna have not spoken properly and she won’t even look in travis’ direction.

it wasn’t just the betrayal itself, you think, without ever saying it out loud, it was the audacity of it. now, every time jackie glanced at shauna, all she could see was the life she used to have, the life she had taken away piece by piece: her boyfriend, her best friend, her sense of control. nobody is ever calling it by name in spite of the elephant (shauna’s bump) in the room.

jackie hadn’t acknowledged the pregnancy out loud, yet the unspoken tension hangs in the air whenever they are forced to share space, impacting all of you.

the more time passes, the colder everyone gets.

except for tai and van, the rest of the team has sort of neglected the need for physical touch and closeness. without anyone around that you’d be comfortable enough with to ask for a simple hug, you try to do the same as everyone else. only at night, with the others fast asleep, you ever dare to wrap your arms around yourself, picturing it’s someone else holding you.

you won’t let it show to the others, though, not wanting to be the first to break under the current circumstances.

turns out you don’t have to wait too long for someone else to be in a similar position: jackie had been the one to lose it from the start. sure, you’d all been terrified, but out of all the girls, jackie had been the most stubborn when it came to her chores out here.

she’d always been the one least likely to adapt to any of this: to the wilderness, to the cold, to the isolation that gnawed at all of you. she wasn’t built for this life, and everyone knew it, including her. but jackie wasn’t one to let people see her break easily: the same jackie who once thrived on attention now barely spoke, her haughty attitude replaced by something more brittle.

it had only been a matter of time before this facade cracked.

you’d seen her unraveling slowly. the way she avoided shauna, the way she avoided everyone, really. how she snapped at taissa for trying to delegate chores or rolled her eyes at nat’s attempts to hunt. she’s so desperate to seem untouchable, but it is clear to you that jackie’s just lost. and hurt.

and then came the nightmares, too.

you start to wake at night to the sound of her gasping, a sharp cry muffled into the blanket she clutches around her. she must’ve shot up, her breaths coming fast and shallow, and for a moment, you think she might wake everyone else. but the others keep sleeping, too used to the sounds of restless nights to stir. that’s how it starts because you -unsure of what else to do- only reach out and put a hand on her shoulder. jackie flinches, not expecting anyone else to be up at this time. you two never talk about it afterwards but you feel the way she instantly melts into your touch.

that small gesture is what makes you realize how much you’ve missed being close to another person.

after this, it is like a switch has been flipped: jackie is fixated on always lingering in your presence, eager for any kind of touch she can get, whether it’s a brush of hands, her palm to your back, or sitting shoulder to shoulder. she even picks up certain chores just to be near you. whether it is a desperate attempt for proximity and closeness or a real crush that’ll keep on growing beyond this place where you’re stuck, it feels nice to be wanted like this.

one of these nights, with the cabin quiet and the air heavy with the sound of soft snores and the occasional crackle of the dying fire, jackie takes things one step further.

everyone else is huddled together for warmth, but in the farthest corner of the room, it’s just you. or at least it was, until jackie had slipped down beside you, her breath visible in the freezing air as she sits close -closer than she needs to.

she whispers, careful not to wake the others, “it’s freezing. you’re practically an icicle over here,“ she hesitates, her hands tugging at her blanket as if trying to decide what to say next. after another moment, she ventures, “i don’t know how you’re even handling it. i feel like my fingers might fall off any second”

her eyes flicker to yours, searching for something. permission, maybe, to come even closer than she already is. “you know,” she says lightly, almost offhand, “it’d probably be warmer if we shared. not that anyone would care… or even notice.”

she doesn’t press it further, leaving the idea hanging between you. sure, the two of you have shared your moments before, but you certainly hadn’t spent the night cuddling yet.

the silence stretches out, her gaze darting to yours again, waiting for any sign. and then you shift, just a little, leaning closer, not quite touching but enough to give her what she needs. the corner of her mouth twitches, and without a word, she slides her blanket open, wrapping it around the both of you as she settles closer.

jackie voice is barely above a whisper, the words brushing against your ear. “this is okay…right?”

you nod, softly, knowing she’ll see from where she’s curled up against you from behind. like this, the two of you lie in silence for a good while. you know jackie is awake still: you can feel the way she occasionally shifts, or how her breathing won’t still in a way that it would if she was asleep.

it’s strange, how natural this feels: being this close to someone, so comfortably tangled together after such a long time. a part of you had forgotten how it would feel. another part, the one that’s been falling in love with jackie taylor long before your plane crashed, longs to have her even closer and tries its very hardest not to allow your mind to wander…

jackie, on the other hand, hasn’t felt this close to any of the other girls either. without thinking, her hand moves of its own accord, around you to rest on your stomach. her fingers are cold, even through your layers of clothing. she brushes them lightly over your skin, the touch gentle. you audibly gulp, but let her.

after another moment, you are finally brave enough to shift. you lift yourself up and adjust until you’re facing her. jackie’s hand remains on the dip of your waist underneath the blanket.

your bodies are flush against each other, your breaths mingling in the sliver of air between you. jackie’s eyes widen a fraction as you turn, her hand instinctively tightening its grip on your waist. the shift in your position has brought you even closer together.

her hand slides further, fingertips tracing over the shape of your hip. “you’re still cold,” she murmurs, her voice low and hushed in the quiet cabin. her eyes rake over you, her gaze lingering over the curve of your lips.

“it is cold in here” you point out, shivering at the realization of her wandering eyes. jackie isn’t exactly subtle about it either. after all, there’s not much she’s ever wanted that she didn’t get.

her touch is moving from your hip down to the curve of your thigh. her fingers dance over the fabric of your pants underneath the blanket. she’s still fixated on your mouth, her breath hitching as she sees the way you shiver under her gaze.

jackie leans in a little closer when she feels the way your legs fall open under her hands, her lips nearly brushing against your ear as she whispers, “you know, i think i’ve got a few more ways i could help warm you up…” her hand moves again, sliding further up your thigh.

it’s pathetic, really. it’s a desperate attempt to cling to normality. to feel wanted in spite of everything. it’s a short moment in the terrors of the wilderness that she won’t speak about in the morning. but, fuck it, you’re willing to take it.

your breath hitches in your throat when jackie’s hand inches up your leg, a small noise slipping from your lips. immediately, jackie hushes you.

“sh” she says, eyes darting to where the others are fast asleep. “we have to be quiet” and with that, your last restraints are gone. it only confirms what jackie is up to right now -if it hadn’t been clear yet, it certainly is now. and while you know, rationally, that this is a bad idea, the need to feel someone’s touch is too strong for you to neglect it any longer: awkward attempts of trying to get off under the covers whilst everyone else sleeps are clearly not doing enough for you.

at least jackie seems to be on the same page.

you both shift and adjust against each other. it’s a little clumsy, and it takes a moment to find a good position, but it’s driven by the need for something you’ve both been craving, so you make it work. before you know it, jackie lingers above you in a way that has her center pressing against your own under the sheets.

she exhales a shuddered breath and your hands jump up to hold her hips. your eyes are wide as you stare up at her, partly in disbelief that this is happening, mostly because you can’t believe that jackie wants you like this.

jackie leans in, not kissing you yet, but with her arms bracing her weight on either side of your head, caging you in. her eyes are dark, her gaze flickering over your features in a way that makes your stomach flip.

beneath the covers, her legs shift, her body pushing further into yours, grinding against you for the first time, in a way that is deliberate and calculated. her breath stutters, her voice hoarse as she speaks, “you’ve gotta be-” she gasps, and bites her lip, resisting the moan that threatens to escape. “quiet”

oh, how you wish you could’ve met her under different circumstances. how you wish jackie could’ve wanted you like this all the way back home, so you could’ve heard the way she sounds when she’s moving on top of you.

when you finally come back to your senses, you decide to make the most of this opportunity. holding her hips a little tighter, you lift your own from the ground to meet her halfway.

jackie, who’s only ever known sex to be something merely mediocre, is surprised that grinding against you (fully clothed, and in a room full of sleeping people that prevent you from going all the way) is already better than anything she’s ever had.

she shivers as you take the initiative, matching her movements with a gasp that she barely manages to bite back. she arches into you, her body moving steadily now.

her hands slide up your sides, fingers slipping under the edge of your shirt to feel the warm skin of your stomach. she leans in, her breath a shaky, quiet: “god, yes…just like that…”

you can feel your own underwear, clinging to your arousal which is growing exponentially at this rate. there’s no way you’ll last long like this, not when you’re embarrassingly close to creaming your pants just from watching her. each of your movements is mirrored by one of hers, until you’ve found a good rhythm to grind against the other. at some point, jackie’s body goes slack and she drops forward. you instantly hold her to your chest as she keeps rutting against you, moaning the faintest little “ah, ah, ah” sounds into your ear.

the friction between you spikes, both of you desperate and greedy for more connection. your hips keep meeting in a slow, steady rhythm, both pushing and pulling each other into deeper contact.

her hands are still wandering over your body, exploring every inch of your skin she can reach through the clothing that’s supposed to keep you warm but is severely restricting right now.

she draws you closer, her mouth by your ear, her voice a low, husky whisper, “i want you…i want you so badly…” she whispers. whether jackie means it or not, it works on you.

“don’t stop” you tell her, rocking into her equally desperately. at this point you can only pray that no one will hear the creaking floor boards. the sheets are a tangled mess around the two of you, the covers having slipped down to her waist as the heat between you escalates.

“jackie” you whisper, hoping the urgency to your tone will get the message across. judging by the way she nods erratically, that seems to be the case.

“yeah” she says, bobbing her head still. “yeah, me too”

you, embarrassed as you are, cum first. it’s quiet, your lips parted in a silent scream as jackie’s constant rocking sends you stumbling over the edge you’ve been toeing since she began straddling you. she watches you fall apart beneath her, not once slowing down or stopping altogether, determined to make herself cum too.

her eyes flutter and she struggles to keep her breathing steady as her hold on you tightens. “don’t- don’t you dare stop-“ she hisses, your pleasure not yet ebbing by the time she follows. jackie is beautiful, obviously, but you’ve never seen something that could ever compare to her when she makes herself come against you: her head falls back and her eyes close tightly. she’s biting her lower lip so harshly she could be drawing blood for the sake of not being too loud.

finally, after her body has gone tense for a couple of seconds, jackie slumps against you. she’s panting right into your ear, unable to speak as her orgasm washes over her. you can feel her thighs trembling around yours as she recovers.

for a few moments, the only sound in the room is the ragged breathing of the two of you as the silence hangs heavy in the air. the cabin is quiet, the rest of the team blissfully unaware of what just happened a few feet away.

“holy shit” you finally breathe, unsure of what else to do or say. thankfully, jackie doesn’t move away like a part of you had anticipated. she stays right there, on top of you, giving you the courage to hesitantly wrap your arms around her and hold her to your chest.

if you don't move, you'll fall asleep like this and the others will have plenty of questions in the morning. still, neither of you has got the strength to get up, to move away from the heat you're providing. your eyes grow heavy before you know it. it's the first night of good sleep in a long time.

[julietwiskey1]

Thinking any timebomb or lightcannon with Isha, taking care of her alongside jinx, loving her just as much as jinx does...

Both Ekko and Lux absolutely adore Isha. But it’s a bit different for both of them.

Ekko has known Jinx for a long time. Seeing her with Isha reminds him of her before everything went down. About how happy and care free she used to be, how she can be that again. Just older and more mature.

Lux meets Jinx and knows from the start Isha is part of the package. This is a woman who would do anything for their child/little sister. How Jinx is accepting of Isha and tries her best to light up her world makes Lux wish that her parents would have done that for her. Instead it reminds Lux a bit more of Garen and how he treated her.

I think both Lux and Ekko take differently to Isha. Ekko has a lot of experience with kids, if it’s firelights in canon or community groups in fiction he’s been a role model a lot. A cool older brother figure to more kids than he could count. He’s comfortable and confident around Isha. What he isn’t used to is being the boyfriend or having a kid who’s his.

For awhile Ekko seemed to be kind of dismissive of her. Trying to push her towards other friends her age. It’s good, but it sort of made him seem overall uninterested in her, like she was just another kid in the community. Jinx kicks it into him one day that Isha is important to her and that he needs to give her special attention if he wants their relationship to work. Because Isha is now his daughter too.

Lux herself is low key kind of terrified of kids at first. Children are not her strong suit, she didn’t have much of a chance to be one herself. But she is quick to try and make up for her shortcomings. Often caving to any of Isha demands, and look if Jinx said no to something imagine how out there it has to be. Eventually Lux regains her confidence in the dynamic and puts a stop to both Jinx’s and Isha’s plans when they go too far.

Lux though loves to teach. With someone so spirited as Isha she teaches her sword fighting and wrestling. Lux shows her magic and is someone else that lights up Isha’s world. Lux is glad to see Isha as her little sister.

Jinx for her part loves to watch both of them with Isha from the shadows. Watch as they play or teach her something new. Knowing that there is someone else in Isha’s world for her. Someone who will take her in if the worst happens to Jinx.

[malorisaurus]

Interestingly, all of this is partly why I was a bit disappointed in his romance. So much of this was subtle and left for player interpretation, and I felt the cut scenes largely did not provide context for a romance, even with this interpretation.

I didn’t need kissing or sex. I wanted a conversation about how even the idea of intimacy with a demon constantly present was confusing; I wanted Lucanis and Rook to maybe lightly joke about having unwelcome guests in their heads while the subtext could be a genuine deepening of their bond. Give me more earnest domesticity—we went shopping together, and I would have liked to have prepared a meal for the team together. Let him be sexy and suave when he shows you how to use a knife properly and then a panicked bi disaster upon realizing the intimacy in how he is touching and speaking to you.

I fully love Lucanis because he is genuine. He gives his approval most often as a response to earnest and kind dialogue options. I love that about him. He is an empathetic assassin raised by a hard woman in a home with a cousin he loved who resented him. Despite his love for Illario, Lucanis had to know in his heart of hearts that Illario did not care for him in the same way. Caterina constantly pit them against one another, and it is a trauma to have that sort of home life. Lucanis was imprisoned and violated in unthinkable ways, and being back in the world and falling in love probably feels like such a wildly foreign and terrifying thing.

While I appreciate trusting the player to extract meaning, sometimes a story benefits from being more explicit (in detail, not in nudity in this case). I wanted the opportunity to see more of him in the context of intimate conversation, to see more of the Lucanis we were privileged to glimpse.

That said, I am still glad that he was my first romance in this game, and I appreciate this post breaking down some of the elements that I think were at the root of why he is such a compelling character. I will still love him always.

Lucanis is a violently swinging pendulum of awkward and literal rizz god. How is he so bad but the coffee date cute af, and that scene in the pantry soooo goooood!?!?!

How does his confession never involve actually saying anything or physical intimacy of any kind and just him making a dessert (before you come for me, yes, I know most of his conversations are layered with romantic subtext), then later says he loves you with his whole chest?

Why does he consistently fumble when talking about romance or giving advice when with companions, but will pull mad suave lines on Rook?

This man has no idea why you like him but will turn around and say the cutest shit and demand to snuggle.

Sir... SIR...SIIIIIRRRRR!!!!!!

Listen here, babygirl. I WILL marry you. Don't try me.

[astronicht]

I love the very subtle but important presences of bez and pecco in tavullia radio!! and also everything else about it obviously. would love to know if you had any more thoughts about like what they're doing thinking seeing feeling! the image of pecco running into freshly fucked and sucked marc at the espresso machine he can't use and making him a tiny coffee enchants and delights me. in my mind he is suffering horrors. thank you for such a perfect fic!!

thank you Leah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 So in my head etc Pecco and Marc are already technically or already have been teammates. I was thinking as I wrote it "is this next month? or is this december after the 2025 season?" haha. Either way Pecco is like. In a phase of life where he has decided that he is professionally obligated to have some form of rapport with Marc. And if they've been working together for a bit, they awkwardly kind of already DO, just not. NOT in this setting. Always on neutral Ducati ground. THIS scenario (freshly fucked and sucked marc at vale's ranch, in pecco's friendly ranch kitchen, where he was NOT expecting visitors) is NOT part of this carefully polite professional rapport. Unlike the rest of the guys Pecco can't just grunt and shuffle past (he totally could have; Marc did not want to talk to anyone). He's forcing himself to try to be normal and thus extending everyone's suffering lol. They don't even dislike each other. This somehow makes it all worse.

Pecco made Marc a Turkish coffee instead of just getting out one of the 3-5 mokas kicking around because he has gotten into foodie youtube and Turkish coffee came up, and he carefully bought the correct little cup to boil it in and the correct finely ground coffee and he has like, watched videos on how to get the foam right. Very much your friend who gets really into foodie youtube and is suddenly making what you think of as simple staple dishes with all the right utensils and the correct dipping sauce that no one in ur family ever bothered with. He actually had come in to make a coffee for himself before practice (i think he's considering doing a little mentoring? which never interested him much. Marc appears in moments of Pecco identity or professional crisis, in this universe) so you have to picture Pecco out there somewhere with a little cup of Turkish coffee and haunted eyes, wondering if he can drink it.

Marc actually wanted tea, or to have the balls to wander around the ranch in boxer briefs and a t-shirt smelling violently like sex, but he saw the giant fuck-off luxury espresso machine and was like. the look of it annoyed him so he was definitely going to force it to work or just break it. a little bit his instinct to push at vale a little, to try to figure out where the lines are, or to know for sure that vale isn't going to snap over something normal again.

So that was the mood and then pecco came in and was like oh god. oh god he's going to touch the espresso machine and we'll have to have it repaired again. oh god we won't be able to tell vale that marc did it and we'll have to blame celestino again. Just polite Pecco voice being sooo normal like Hi Marc Would You Like A Coffee :) [intense suffering]. He is overcompensating and being as normal as possible bc marc looks fucked ouuuuut and also is doing the terrifying dead fish eyes and slight grin he does when in extreme physical pain and forced to converse, bc he's dissasociating and also does not care enough to make nice expressions for pecco. (Vale used to fuck himself to sleep despite insomnia -- like he just did -- all the time when Marc was 22 and the memory is a bit much.)

Bez meanwhile is having a total gay... crisis isn't the right word. ring of keys dot mp3. the particular egg-cracking feeling of seeing something you didn't know you desperately wanted until you want it violently and think you're gonna cry for no reason. seeing it is both horrifying (for the same reasons pecco is horrified; marc is fucking motorcycle dad) and makes him want so much it fills his mouth with spit, and that scale of desire is weird and confusing and almost a high. but also he LIKES having a grudge against Marc. It's comforting. It's so awful to be jealous of him, while also realizing he's not jealous that Marc is fucking Vale, because in the end Bez is also being forced to realize that he doesn't exactly want to fuck Vale (well, it's complex, but he doesn't want to fuck Vale like Marc wants to fuck Vale and thus Marc even managed to get a win over Bez by being gay in the way Bez would've liked to have been gay).

Anyway!! Bez got wronged in this fic, I don't want to assign him "italian son with sisters who never learned to make coffee". But i did do that. Also he feels twitchy and guilty about the falsely attributed coffee thing for days. Probably vents to Celestino, who is like "why are you talking about coffee bez i am at the club. did i break the espresso machine again bez?? i can't hear u maybe there's better signal on the roof [call dropped as cele's phone dies and isnt' charged for 3 days]"

[caplanbuckybarnes]

Change Your Mind (Bucky Barnes)

Summary: After an intense fight between you and Bucky, you vow to get your revenge on him. He thinks your kidding around until he wakes up with an arm made of metal. Will he forever have the metallic limb? Or will you both resolve your issues and cause his arm to become human like once more?

Warnings: readers a witch of sorts, this would take place in an AU where bucky *doesnt* have a metal attachment

WC: 600

Read on ao3!

--

Bucky didn’t usually slam doors. But tonight, the door to your shared apartment rattled on its hinges as he stormed out of the room, leaving you standing in the middle of the kitchen, seething.

He’d crossed a line. You weren’t even sure how the fight had started—something small that spiraled out of control, words sharpening like blades until you both drew blood. But what stung the most was how dismissive he’d been.

“Do whatever you want,” he’d snapped. “It’s not like I care.”

Those words echoed in your mind long after he’d disappeared into the other room. Your hands trembled, but not from sadness—oh no. This was anger, white-hot and unrelenting. Fine. If he thought you were bluffing when you said you’d get your revenge, he was in for a surprise.

Bucky had no idea what you were capable of.

When Bucky woke the next morning, the sunlight streaming through the window felt... off. Something about his arm felt heavier than usual, the weight pulling awkwardly at his shoulder. Groaning, he sat up, running his hand through his hair—except it wasn’t his hand.

“Holy—” Bucky stared down at his left arm. The sleek vibranium he was used to was gone, replaced by something disturbingly familiar: the exact same metallic construction as his right arm.

“What the hell?” His voice was hoarse as he flexed his fingers, the joints moving with unsettling ease. It felt real—too real.

He scrambled out of bed, nearly tripping over himself as he stumbled into the living room. You were there, sitting cross-legged on the couch with a cup of coffee in hand, your expression as nonchalant as ever.

“Morning,” you said sweetly, taking a sip.

“What did you do?” Bucky demanded, holding up his new metallic arm.

You tilted your head, feigning innocence. “Oh, that? Just a little reminder to be nicer during fights. Thought you could use a taste of your own medicine.”

Bucky’s jaw dropped. “A taste of my own medicine? Are you kidding me? This is permanent!”

“Only if you keep being an ass,” you shot back, setting your coffee down.

He stared at you, a mix of disbelief and frustration written all over his face. “You can’t be serious.”

“Dead serious,” you replied, crossing your arms. “Maybe next time you won’t storm out in the middle of a fight. Or, I don’t know, tell me you don’t care?”

Bucky flinched, guilt flickering in his eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Well, it sure felt like you did.”

For a moment, silence stretched between you, broken only by the faint hum of the fridge. Bucky sighed, running his flesh hand over his face. “I shouldn’t have said that. I was mad, but that’s no excuse. I’m sorry.”

You raised a brow. “Go on.”

He exhaled, his shoulders sagging. “I care about you. More than I should’ve let on last night. I was out of line, and... I deserved this.” He gestured at his arm, his lips twitching into a faint smirk. “Even if it’s kind of overkill.”

You huffed, but a small smile tugged at the corners of your mouth. “Apology accepted. And maybe it was a little overkill.”

“Only a little?” he teased, stepping closer.

You reached out, brushing your fingers against the metal, and with a whispered incantation, the metallic surface shimmered, melting away to reveal his human arm underneath. He flexed his fingers, marveling at the change.

“You’re not just scary,” he murmured, meeting your gaze. “You’re terrifying.”

“Good,” you said, smirking. “Maybe next time you’ll think twice before pissing me off.”

Bucky chuckled, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close. “Lesson learned.”

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

spent a good hour reading up on your Not What He Seems AU, it’s such a perfect mix of angst and whimsy! Ford waking up to find 30 years have passed in the blink of an eye is is the kind of body horror terrifying i eat up, as an avid enjoyer of time travel and its inherent tragedy.

i got a few questions, if you’ll indulge me:

- what kinds of tattoos you think Bill has gotten over the years? i think i saw some arm bands in one of your pieces, but i’d love to hear if you have any specific ideas for placements or images. if he’s doing it for the safe pain experience, i’d think there are some pretty big/detailed pieces involved? and do you think the pain helps ground him somewhat, to find and fit better in the boundaries of the body?

- in the show, Stan feels a lot of guilt for stealing his brother’s identity and he kinda thinks of himself as a fraud, an actor. do you think Bill ever feels guilty for the same? or would he just miss Ford a lot, without the Stan-specific aspect of pretending to be “the better one”?

also any fun tidbits you’ve been rotating in your head lately! it’s impressive how specifically it seems like you’ve thought out how Bill’s presence would affect the canon show events, while trying to keep them as unchanged as possible. also StanFraud is the funniest, most perfect thing I’ve ever heard!

Thank you!! I’ve always enjoyed writing horror based on human response, so Ford’s perspective is probably one of the most fascinating to me in this AU, although, all of it is fascinating and enjoyable to explore, really!

— I haven’t worked them all out yet, but I know for a fact he has a tattoo of the Cipher Wheel on his back, the arm bands as you mentioned, a hyper-realistic tattoo of his ribs where his ribs would be (if that makes sense), and eyes on the back of his hands. Honestly, I’d be open to suggestions for him! I imagine him having some more grotesque, detailed tattoos that reflect the nightmare realm as well. And yes, the pain definitely helps ground him. It also gives him a sense of control as well, in a situation where he has none.

— If he does feel guilty, it’s a complicated kind of guilt. I don’t even think he’d fully process that he’s feeling guilty. It’s this sort of gnawing feeling he can’t get rid of, and it starts the longer he gets to know Dipper and Mabel — he never really felt it before that. He absolutely misses Ford though. He can’t define that feeling either. I’ve said before that he looks at Dipper strangely, and that’s because Dipper reminds him of Ford in certain moments, eager for discovery!

He and Stan never really talk about it, but the have both acknowledged missing Ford before.

Bill’s response was vague though, not an ‘I miss him too’, but an ‘I think I do too.’ He isn’t sure what to make of that.

Bill Cipher doesn’t feel remorse, or miss people, he does everything with intention and he’s never made mistakes. Or, that’s what he’s meant to be. Maybe he has gone soft.

And Tidbits! I have a few! Not as many as usual, only because Arcane’s been taking up a bit of my brain space lately, but I hope these shall suffice anyhow:

(And quickly, thank you again, I think way too hard on all the small details and how Bill’s presence would have a knock on effect. It makes me happy to see it get noticed!)

— In the early days of Bill being trapped, Stan obviously doesn’t open the Mystery Shack, and ends up having to take a few odd jobs around town instead. He’s earned a bit of a reputation for being a decent handyman because of that, and even now, old timers of the town will still come to Stan if they need something fixing, especially cars. He complains about getting too old for it, but he never says no. Money is money! It’s also interesting to think about how the little things would impact his relationship with the townsfolk and how they view him. He’s always been Stanley to them. He’s never had to pretend otherwise.

— I’ve toyed around with making the Blind Eye a bigger threat than they are in canon, being as the kids would have no reason to look into Old Man McGucket. I’ve also toyed around with McGucket ending up slightly different to canon, his mind still broken, but his motivation different, with him being aware early on that the man he sees isn’t Ford, and is in fact the beast he fears and tried to erase from his mind. A more antagonistic Fiddleford who’s been trying to get rid of Bill for years now would actually be really fun? If I can make it work, and make the Blind Eye work in this way, I’ll lean into it! For now though, it’s just an idea I’m throwing around.

— Vague ‘episode’ idea that exists within my brain is Bill accidentally starting a mini cult again after telling some sort of lie that catches on, and it ends up being a Mabel-Bill bonding plot-line as she tries to convince him to just be honest before this whole cult thing gets taken too far. I also love the idea of Bill making a comment about this being like 1952 all over again. He makes comments like that all the time. Surely he’s just joking!

— Another vague ‘episode’ idea I have is Bill taking Dipper and Mabel to the supernatural underground market of Gravity Falls under Stan’s nose, trying to prove he’s the cooler Uncle, and that he can handle the two kids by himself. This goes about as well as you’d expect. Stan isn’t too happy to find out Bill got Dipper and Mabel in trouble, as he tried to get them to do more and more risky things.

— Bill will sometimes start speaking in Euclydian without realising, especially when it comes to cursing, and no one knows how he’s making those sounds with his mouth. Stan’s actually started picking up some of the meanings in context and can roughly gauge what Bill might be saying.

[physics-of-one-piece]

I agree with this post, and I want to add sth, I hope that's okay, OP.

Rosinante's anger - when he showed it - idk why but it didn't scare me. It didn't scare me like Doflamingo's anger. Doflamingo's anger fckn terrifies me.

I think you may have cracked why. Because Rosinante's anger came from a kind place. It was also presented differently. It was presented in a bit of a light-hearted, joke-like way. Even though he is burning down a hospital.

Also, even in anger, once they start their journey, Rosinante never hurts Law. He carries him around, yeah, but he never raises a hand against Law again. Rosinante isn't going to hurt his loved ones in anger. Doflamingo shows he will. I think this is also a factor of why Doflamingo's anger is terrifying and Rosinante's isn't as terrifying.

I think being Corazón helped Rosinante get that anger out. I think being Corazón probably made Rosinante realise how angry he is. But having an outlet in form of killing pirates... I think that was pretty good outlet for him. He gets to be grumpy, he gets to be angry, he gets to kill. (This is not to say Rosinante enjoys killing people.)

Also, I want to mention the Bottle Smash™ both DQ brothers do it.

But it also feels different, even though I think the source of the smash is their distress/anger.

It feels different. Is it because of what or who they're doing it? Rosinante does it because he's helpless to help Law. Doflamingo does it because the wine isn't helping him therefore he smashes it to smitherens.

Yeah, Rosinante is angry. Rosinante also didn't pull the trigger. Even if he was angry at his brother. Because his anger comes from a different place, I think.

But Doflamingo did. Doflamingo pulled the trigger very very full of emotions, and it's shown he expresses experiencing a complex flood of emotions in him by either anger or laughing. He is vulnerable, so he acts out with anger.

Rosinante doesn't have this problem with his emotions, I think. Yes, he acts out in anger, but he never lets it fog him to the point he hurts someone he loves.

Doflamingo, unfortunately, does not have that same sense. (I'm not saying he killed Rosinante in a fit of anger, he did not. He was 100% aware and there mentally, he was aware of his actions very much.)

Doflamingo's anger was always embaraced and encouraged, so he continues using it to express his emotions. North Blue Doflamingo was fckn terrifying bcs of how QUIET he was, at least to me. He didn't laugh as much as he does later. He didn't taunt people as much and got under their skin. Him expressing & processing his emotions in a safe way was never taught to him. He also was never encouraged to say what he feels. He was in a very masculine, tough guy surrounding.

Anyway, thank you for making me understand a bit more about Rosinante, OP, which also consequently helped me figure out a bit more about Doflamingo too.

Headcanon that even though he died happy, Corazon lived in anger.

This was a man who watched his fathers naïvety destroy their lives, who was hunted down by people who wanted him to suffer like they had, who watched his mother die slowly in front of him, and who watched as his brother shot his father through the skull.

He was angry. Like, reallyyyyyy angry. Rosinante burned down hospitals full of patients because the doctors refused to treat Law. He was a man who had done horrible things.

His anger, was kind, and justified, but anger nonetheless. Stop erasing this part of his character pretty please with a cherry on top, fic writers. He was goofy, and silly, and sweet, but he was also an incredibly angry man.

Cora lived angry at his brother and the world alike. He saw this in Doffy, and in Law both. He looked at Law and saw a version of himself and Doflamingo that he could save this time around. And because of that, he died without anger.

[phoenixeclipse-lmkau]

Cursed Warlords Au - Chapter #10 - Planning

You and Spirit need to figure out what you’re doing. All the while you figure out how to wear the hanfu you were gifted.

“I don’t know… are you sure this is right?” You asked while struggling helplessly with the wrapping of your new hanfu.

The hanfu was beautiful, wrapping around your body surprisingly well. It wasn’t a perfect fit, possibly a size too big but then again it was a gift from someone who didn’t really know you. You shouldn’t be surprised. Now if only you could figure out how to properly tie this thing.

“… no I think you have it on backwards,” Spirit chuckled from her seat in the bed. Both of the monkeys sat next to her giving quiet chirps, though you weren’t sure if they were talking to each other or at you.

Looking down at the outfit you scowled when you realized that yes, you did have it on backwards. Your face flushed red before you spun around and glared at your friend. Your friend who was giggling but not offering to help.

“Well then would you be so kind as to help?” you asked, your cheeks still flushed.

Spirit quirked and eyebrow up before shrugging as she stood up. “How do you not know how to do the simplest of things?” She muttered as she helped out of the backwards hanfu.

You stood still for a moment as she tugged and pulled at the fabric, doing her best to correct how you messed up the outfit. It took some maneuvering but eventually you were dressed in the hanfu. It was clearly made for travel which you were grateful for even if you weren’t quite sure why the woman gave it to you. Maybe it was pity. Maybe she understood that you needed help. Whatever the case you were very grateful.

“What do you think?” you asked Spirit nervously once you were finally dressed properly.

A simple hanfu colored black with orange sashes to connect everything together. You weren’t sure how to feel about the coloring but it was still beautiful. Tugging on the fabric a bit you also decided it looked like good quality.

“Not bad. The coloring is shit but eh,” Spirit replied as she plopped down on the bed.

*Chirp?*

You both looked to Plum who tilted his head in confusion. It was adorable! Seriously he was just the cutest thing. You didn’t even bother holding back your squeal.

“I think he wants to know about the color,” Spirit muttered before looking at you with a worried expression. The look was quickly pushed away as you leaned forward.

“Well you see when I was dragged here I came through a portal that swirled with orange and black. It’s not the coloring per say it’s just the memories attached to it,” you explain, if you couldn’t tell two monkeys about it, then who could you talk to about it? Spirit already knows because she saw the portal and she knows that you’re scared of the portal, even though you’re trying to find another.

You smiled widely even though every bit of you was terrified, terrified of going back to that place, terrified to even know what that place was. Maybe it wasn’t bad you weren’t really sure but the moment you had fallen into the portal you felt a rush of something strange, something strong, something wild run right through your very soul. A blur of orange and black and then well then you were with Spirit.

Thinking back on it maybe you shouldn’t be heading straight for something that you had no idea what it was. Maybe going to that place was a bad idea, maybe you could be sent somewhere even worse than where you are now… but if you didn’t try then you would NEVER be able to return home. Right?

*Chirp?*

Glancing to the monkey cubs you smiled, both of them looked confused as hell. Both half draped over the side of the bed as they waited for you to explain. Explain what you were talking about, but you didn’t. You didn’t explain and instead chose to be quiet as you looked yourself over one more time.

“We got everything?” You asked patting yourself down.

“Clothes check, Spirit check, Peaches check, Plums check, and me!” You grinned before face palming, the sheer lack of equipment between the ‘four’ of you was rather depressing.

It was fine, even though you didn’t have barely anything to travel with you were determined to figure this out. With a deep breath you looked at Spirit who was half laying on the bed while her feet were firm on the ground.

”Let’s go,” You grinned happily.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Spirit asked calmly.

You looked at her and frowned, looking around the room you were sure you had everything you needed. There wasn’t anything missing, and everything was how you found it. So what could you be-

“Where are we even going?” Her words hit you like a brick, where WERE you going.

You had spent the last two days resting at the inn and the three days before that running away from bandits. In all that time you never stopped to consider where you two even needed to go. Your face scrunched up slightly as you thought, you weren’t sure when you sat down but here you were sitting on the floor while trying to think of a plan. You needed to find somewhere that could return you home, well maybe not somewhere but someone or something?

“I don’t know… do you know anyone who knows how to travel through dimensions? Or time? Or space? I think I’m from another dimension but I might be from the future,” You waved your hands to act spooky not noticing the looks of surprise on both of the small monkeys faces.

Another dimension? The future? What in the world were you talking about? You couldn’t possibly be from… it would explain your clothing and the slight accent in your voice. No, no that doesn’t explain anything at all! You were a mere mortal who is probably just from some far off place on the mainland who happened to fall into a demon’s trap. Surely that had to be the case, Wukong thought to himself.

However when he looked at his mate, his very rational mate who always thought things through, he didn’t find the exact same answer that he came up with. His mate was looking at you with wide eyes, his ears slightly fanning out a little bit but the longer they remained fanned out the more his scowl deepened. Surely Macaque didn’t actually believe this nonsense, you were just a mortal who had gone a little crazy from running into a demon.

“Okay so first we need to find out where you’re actually from, so we need to find someone who is able to get ahold of that knowledge… I have one person in mind but…” Spirit trailed off her face scrunching up a little bit as she tried to think of any way NOT to see this person.

“But what?” You asked way too quickly for her liking, and with far too much excitement.

“She doesn’t like humans, like AT ALL,” She nervously chuckled as she looked away.

Almost immediately you deflated a little bit, so the one clue you had to going home didn’t want to see you. The only clue that you have gotten in the five days you’d been here. Biting your lip you thought about it, you had to think this through. If she didn’t like humans it might be best not to interact but it was also the only way for you to find a way home.

“Will she kill me?” it was one thing if she just disliked humans but if there’s a chance that she won’t kill you, then maybe you can get her to listen.

Spirit thought for a moment pursing her lips as she contemplated weather this person would kill you. She didn’t seem one hundred percent sure weather she would or not. But maybe…

“She probably won’t try to kill you, but it’s doubtful that she would listen to you either,” Spirit explained, her face still pinched in a frown.

You decided to think some more she wouldn’t listen to you… bit Spirit was a demon. Maybe she would listen to her. It was a possibility and so far it was the closest thing you had to an actual lead. So with the decision made you looked up at your friend and declared.

“Let’s go meet her. It’s worth a shot, and the only clue I have to getting home,” you tried not to look so nervous.

Spirit stared at you for a moment, her eyes going wide at your announcement. You… you wanted to see her? Was that smart? She opened her mouth to speak when you continued quickly. “I can at least try. We don’t have any other leads and I need to get home… my family is probably worried sick.”

Wukong tilted his head, your family probably thought some demon ate you. He couldn’t help but think that they probably thought you were already dead. You were seriously going a little crazy, it probably wasn’t safe to be around you… but they didn’t really have much choice at this point.

Macaque narrowed his eyes. He was still deep in though trying to think of what you were talking about. Maybe you were confused or crazy… but there was the possibility that you were telling the truth. If you were then would you try to take them back to your world? Would you leave him and Wukong here? He let out a scoff, maybe it would be easier to leave… or they could find another monkey demon they could talk to. But how?

“So who is this woman you’re talking about anyways?” you asked curiously.

Spirit remained silent for a moment before speaking, “She’s a monkey demon, I’d say the only one that I’ve ever met. She lives roughly a weeks journey away but with your speed it might take two or three weeks. She’s stubborn and if she doesn’t like you she won’t help you, but if you can get her to like you then maybe MAYBE she’ll help. I I use can’t guarantee it.”

A monkey demon!? They would be able to find a way home if you agree to meet with her. Wukong immediately let out excited chirps, they could contact their friends this way. His sudden noise shocked you causing you to look over at him. Your eyes widened before you laughed.

“I see someone wants to meet her. Animals tend to have good intuition most of the time, maybe we should go,” you chuckled before looking at Spirit who pursed her lips more at his sudden attentiveness. She didn’t trust that he had good intentions, there was something about these monkeys if only she could just put her finger on what.

She glanced at the monkeys and sent them a slightly cold glare which was met with an equally cold one from the white monkey. His single set of ears flicked, her eyes were drawn to them and it irked her just how much he seems aware. Most monkeys were aware of the people surrounding them just not this much.

“Hey leave the cub alone,” You said as you reached out and lifted the Monkey into your arms, the other immediately climbing up your body to your shoulder.

‘We’re not cubs! We are powerful warlords!!’ Peaches chirped angrily, which was only met with a cheerful coo from you.

‘Give it up you know she can’t understand you,’ Plum responded as he leisurely laid in your arms like a hammock.

Spirit raised a brow before rolling her eyes. “Yeah yeah, protect the cub and not your friend,” She said dramatically lifting her hand to her head.

“… you don’t need my protection, you’ve proven that enough,” You replied with a chuckle before rolling your eyes.

“Have I? Last I checked you’re the one who saved my life from those bastards,” The sheer venom in Spirit’s voice was a shock to both Wukong and Macaque. Sure they had heard her annoyance and her sarcasm but here the sheer amount of malice in her tone was… outstanding.

“… I’d say watch your language buuut… yeah they were bastards,” You nodded before going silent, your mind wandering back to that day. It wasn’t even that long ago.

I finished chapter 10!! I have officially hit the double digits with this fanfic! Am I the only one excited? Yes… No? Who knows.

As always Feel Free to Reblog. Like and comment if you can. Comments are a writers food! Well not really, I just love reading them! I love to hear people’s thoughts on my fanfic. Esspecially since this is currently my main fanfic. I am still working on asks and such, work just likes to mandate working the weekends… it sucks. But I hope you all enjoy!

[beelinx]

leo valdez dating an apollo kid hcs

a/n: as an apollo kid who's absolutely in love with leo, this one is might be biased... sorry chat

I think Leo would absolutely LOVE a child of Apollo that’s mostly in the creative fields!

Honestly he would love you however you are but

I just think those little moments when you’re both working on your own projects, basking in each other’s company, are so special to him.

If you’re talented in music, PLEASE play something for him

I GUARANTEE you he will fall in love immediately

Apply that same criteria to any other hobby / art form you can show off for him and you’re set

Since his love language is definitely gift giving / acts of service, if you’re more gifted in doing paintings, sculptures, or other similar stuff, and you give them to him, he literally burns up.

Like fully bursts into flame immediately.

ALSOOOO

If you’re in the infirmary just like Will then he would go there even if it was just for the smallest scratch ever.

He just wants to see you being cute <3

Talking about Will…

He would definitely be protective over you, but most of the times it's in a joking way.

Except that his “joking” has Leo shitting his pants in fear because Will can be TERRIFYING..

It’s the southern in him.

If you were dating during the events of the Trials of Apollo, then I can guarantee you he tried his hardest to impress Lester / Apollo.

It was kind of confusing though, associating that guy as your dad.

He got his blessing very quickly though!

He knows Leo makes you happy and that’s all that matters to him.

You and Leo doing karaoke together! <3

Even if you aren’t the best singer, this is one of the most fun activities ever.

I think Leo would be a strangely good singer, but he would never try.

You just know if that man actually put in the work he’d put most singers to shame, but he doesn’t.

Instead you get the most ear-bleeding performance ever at karaoke night.

You couldn’t get through your duet because you kept laughing your asses off.

He’d force you to teach him to do anything Apollo was associated with, no matter whether or not you’re actually any good at it.

“TEACH ME HOW TO DO THAT PLEASE.” “Leo, I’m not even good at drawing…”

Says you’re his muse constantly.

It’s like that term changed his life.

You’re convinced he’s saying it jokingly because there’s literally no way he’s calling you that seriously, but he swears up and down that you're both his inspiration and motivation to do stuff.

His favorite nickname / pet name for you will always be sunshine though !

Even if you don’t like it, it’s his favorite ever.

You can rip it out of his cold, dead hands.

If you shine in the dark (like Will) then trust me he’s absolutely going to abuse that power to his advantage

You’re his flashlight now so expect staying up late at night to help him light his work table.

He could get a lamp, but he swears you shine more (also you’re prettier) (and he wants to spend time with you)

He’d make anything you need for your hobbies <3

Guitar? He’s got it.

Easel? He already built it.

Bow and arrows? Done. He even rigged the arrows to have special effects.

In other words, Leo is the best boyfriend ever and he would do anything for you!