#and it's been years and i still don't have the slightest clue how to handle it. when i ask for help

[the-rogue-mockingjay]

Oddly enough my biggest struggle as a writer whether I'm operating in fanfic or original works is simply.....that I'm afraid people will judge my characters the same way they judge me in day-to-day life.

I'm not a person who feels emotions by halves. Everything I feel - happiness, anger, fear, hurt, despair, apathy, love - I feel deeply, intensely, and for a long time. I find value and meaning and joy in small simple things most people overlook or disregard (like a particularly pretty flower growing by a sidewalk, or the way a person smiled when I complimented their tattoo or shirt or whatever). And I've been told I'm overreacting to things my whole life- my brother is the worst about it and at least subconsciously looks down on me for being so delighted or so angered by things he (and society in general) deems inconsequential, but I've also been told this by friends, parents, councilors.... On the flip side, I am often unbothered by things that others lose their minds about such as traffic, someone driving slow, or some stranger/cashier/clerk/whatever being less than nice but not outright rude.

In other words, I have no frigging clue what's a "normal" emotional response to something. My ability to gauge it is absolutely busted, if I was ever able to accurately gauge such things to begin with.

When I make a character, more often than not they inherit my intense emotions (e.g., Marian Shepard, Brynja Ryder, and O'ravi Soltholia, among others). And there are some non-OC characters, such as Jaal, Nero from Devil May Cry, Haurchefant, and G'raha Tia, that canonically exhibit this trait as well.

And the nature of stories is that Bad Things Happen. More often than not in these stories the bad things are apocalyptic or otherwise deeply traumatizing, such as Ryder's heart stopping, finding the corpses of people who were vivisected, Shepard dying and waking up in a Cerberus base, the Warrior of Light watching their best friend (and possible lover) die to save them out of nowhere or having to fight an enemy that's possessed one of their dearest friends. More often than not, the fate of the whole damn world rests on the protagonists; if Shepard and WoL were to fail in their respective missions, all life in their galaxies would be wiped out, and if Ryder fails theirs, then that's (to their knowledge) all that remains of the Milky Way civilizations gone and exterminated along with the angara in one fell swoop.

As bad as these things are, as justifiable as it would be for someone to lose their minds about it....when I write about these things and the characters' responses to them, I am consumed by the fear of coming across as melodramatic. I am terrified that people will think my characters (or the characters I'm writing) are WAY overreacting, being overemotional, and for the life of me, I just can't shake this fear. Even if it's irrational, even if it's stupid. I just......good lord.

[suiana]

(yandere! prison warden x gn! inmate reader) (FYI idk how the law works ok so DON'T come after my ass) (im the type of lawyer that gets ur sentence increased instead of decreased fr💀💀)

"can i kiss you?"

"dude, i literally threatened to kill you."

"so?"

he stares at you with a raised eyebrow, pouting slightly as he leans against the bars of your prison cell. you choose to ignore him, instead opting to play with the plastic fork from your lunch tray.

damn it, you should've known better than to be caught. now you're stuck in this lame ass prison with this warden you don't even like.

curse that stupid lawyer who got your sentenced increased from fifty years to life imprisonment. dude sucked at his job and still got paid 💀

for some context, you were in prison for tax evasion, fraud, and multiple cyber crimes you shall not name. you got caught by accident and now you were here. sentenced to life imprisonment in jail. in a private cell.

you know, it isn't even half that bad as compared to some other crimes others have committed! so you haven't a slightest clue as to why you were placed in a private cell with no one to keep you company!

i mean, you did try befriending your warden but he turned out to be delusional and turned out to be one of the people you scammed. love-scammed, to be specific. which is why he might've been delusional...

"baby why'd you have to leave me? i was so sad..."

see? this is what you mean! he seriously didn't get the hint that he was scammed! even when you told him straight to his face that you never did actually love him!

god damn it. now you have to hear his yapping 24/7. you're starting to think that he might've been the one to report you. i mean, isn't it a little too convenient? he's a prison warden, you've got a private cell-

"hey! are you seriously not paying attention to me?!"

he hits the prison bars lightly to attract your attention. thankfully, it did. or else he might've thrown another tantrum. and you did not have the mental capacity to handle it. come on! if he did it would've been his third tantrum of the week! and it's only monday!

you cock your head at him, rolling your eyes as you acknowledge his presence. your annoying prison warden instantly lights up at the small gesture. oh well, at least he's in love with you to the point where even you acknowledging him makes him happy...

"babe! you've gotta stop ignoring me! it makes me sad..."

"i don't actually care."

"baby!"

damn it, maybe you should've just bribed the judge to let you have a death sentence instead.

[barelystandinginthisworld]

I haven't the slightest clue of my mind since the summer.

Its numbed me so much that I can't grieve it.

Any of it.

I want to get better and I want to be better.

I haven't stopped trying to and I don't intend to anytime soon.

I know deep down I need to be happy and that I have the capacity because I have moments of happiness most days now.

But I also know that they're moments, fleeting ones at that

Once I'm alone it seems to flood back, the distractions of others and the comfort of being away from my thoughts seems to evaporate and all I want is for something, ANYTHING to keep the distractions and the moments of joy I can grasp to continue.

I want to be with others because I still can't handle myself alone.

Twenty two years and the past 10 I've been slowing down more and more, my thoughts spiraling and dropping trying desperately to grab onto any form of that yellow sunshine that they can in every attempt to outshine the bad and the sad and the overall destruction the chemicals in my head seem to be at a constant with

I refuse to be some "woe is me" everyday to every person I meet and say "I'm okay, the demons and the persecution inside my brain is all an illusion"

I became an illusion to myself, it's the only way I know how to keep it at bay and say I'm okay when all I know is when to pay for the day I spent pretending everything has gone away

When it hasn't even settled.

I don't know who to tell or how to say what's wrong because by the time I reach it

it's gone.

Not gone as in disappeared but the feeling, the tears and the fear just fades once I'm no longer alone.

I sob in my car for hours, I stare blankly at the wall picking and biting at my nails, I go silent or get angry or over-rationalize what's wrong as if what's wrong will be right if I decide it to be

I can't decide when somethings actually wrong because within moments my brain locks it away again for me to continue my next task

I reach out because I know I'm wrong and I know I want comfort but I'm also aware that once I reach it tends to end before I can achieve that.

I'm alone when I'm upset and once I'm in company, it's as if I never was.

I want to let it out, I want to sob and scream and ramble and yell about everything that passes through my head but it doesn't come out

I want it to.

I don't know if it's subconscious or if I'm just melodramatic and just over reacting to everything but I don't know if I've even reacted at all yet.

The summer has been gone for months

So has she.

And I have yet to grieve because I haven't the slightest idea how anymore.

There's more I want to say but I also don't know if it's something that should be read or if it needs to be heard.

[fairlyxlocal]

long genesis headcanon post -- in the form of discord messages, so these are basically notes.

there's talk about prion disease!

also an immune system disorder. this is a bit more vague and was speculation based on how i think his body would respond to the jenova cells making his body deteriorate. lots of speculation! and just... how things at least have gone on my blog. i know i could include a lot more, and this does fall into an interest of mine so i'm sure there'll be more.

i do not think his friends would have the slightest fucking clue as to what's going on and were likely lied to. like. no they're not gonna know that his has a brain disease, that his body is falling apart & attacking itself. and they're not going to be told that. they were DEFINITELY not told about how genesis was nudged into finding answers for himself. angeal probably lives with a sense of guilt bc he did hurt genesis, and it was pretty bad (which allegedly triggered the body falling apart thing, but shhhh ive changed so much anyway shhh) its a fucking mess. as far as ange and seph are told, gen just…. went off the deep end. left them. abandoned them.

gen's not in a mental state to tell anyone what's going on. it's all happening so fast, the mako and the jenova cells are fighting to keep him functional + somewhat alive but its a fucking disaster. i think like. it progresses prett rapidly (for how they typically would), even with mako and jenova cells in mind. then the fact that he's getting roughed up REAL fucking good like. doesn't help. his body cant really fight off infection/patch up injuries. like. hoo. so ofc he dies.

so genesis dies as a traitor. the villian. someone who abandoned his friends with no reason. who did these awful things for no reason whatsoever.

and when he comes back… he can't talk about it. how do you even begin to talk about that shit show. why talk about it? it changes nothing. he still did those things. he can't even tell them about the flesh eating demon thing, so why would he tell them about the fact that he was dying and his body was doing things that couldn't be stopped? nothing would be changed.

his brain deteriorating is the result of a prion disease. CJD specifically. it genuinely just. happened. very unexpected given his age, and the news was not broken to him gently. it's hard to handle being told you only have a year left to live. being treated like a failure. mocked (maybe not actually mocked jut that's how it feels). Genesis lucks out in anyway. he dies in a few months (three?). i don't have a full timeline established and I'm side eyeing how fast stuff happens in games. I'll get there. his body is also. deteriorating but that is for sure because of the jenova cells. HOWEVER I'm thinking it's a bit of like. his body is attacking itself and the jenova cells. that would've been enough to kill him.

[11:23 PM]so. genesis was always going to die.

[11:23 PM]his immune system becomes virtually nonexistent, blah blah blah

[shiroi---kumo]

·:*¨༺ ✩★✩ ��¨*:·. A rainbow of eyes is settling on the weeping man of the ocean's soul as he practically erupts with disapproval at the Knight's decision for how to handle this news of the Prince's betrayal. It's not his fault! he yells. It's mine! Not his! He continues taking it one step further that has all three of the elder Mistericans locked in place when the words

'They forced him!' leave the musician's lips and now they have more questions than answers.

Soon Sielu is reaching for and grasping onto the Northern Lights and the that man of sparkling green stops in his tracks and the hand reaching for his spear drops as he gives his full attention to this one Misterican soul. Sielu knows something they don't. Sielu has seen something they haven't and he knows about a complication that none of them have the slightest clue about.

Now it sounds less like the Prince has committed treason and more like he's been held prisoner and forced to commit these atrocities against his will and honestly knowing his Pilvi - for as much as it makes his stomach turn - that makes far more sense. The idea of Pilvi going on a murderous rampage of his own volition is honestly ludicrous to him and he's still haven't a rather difficult time imagining that boy taking a life of any kind.

Not the wide eyed, sparkling moon that always seemed to be glowing even in his darkest times and lit up at something so simple a good joke taped to the door to his quarters. Not his Pilvi. Not the boy who cried over a scrapped knee, and hide under his covers for an hour because of the strange creaking noises he heard in the hall when he was only six years old.

Not his Pilvi.

The Knight's hands are clenching into tight fists as he thinks about it and he hates that he can see the prince's face clearer in his mind than he has been able to in years and he can see that boy smiling back at him and shouting his name happily as he reaches out to take his hand and pull him to follow after him a little quicker. The only thing he's wanted all these long sixteen years was to hold that boy one more time and now Sielu is telling him that it's possible but whoever they were was standing in between him and his charge.

Sielu, grip on him is strong but his desperation is palpable. There is no light filling aquatic eyes where a shimmering ocean should have been. Does that mean whoever they was had also taken Sielu prisoner too? Does that means the musician managed to escape but the prince has not? He won't ask Sielu to return to such a place but he needs to know where to go, so he can rip Pilvi from their grasp by force if he must.

He's stopping for a moment, to take a breath and calm himself. He's lifting the papers back up to view to uncrumple them from his grasp and then read over them once more. If what he's understanding is correct, then Pilvi has escaped from whoever was holding him - but now he clings to the company of Svaardzjetrorahm. Why?

Of all the people in the world, why would Pilvi find refuge with the man that was destined to kill him? The man that they all saw nearly do so, a little over a decade ago? There were pieces missing and this puzzle was gaining more gaps by the second.

But one thing is for certain and that is whatever horrors Sielu was subjected to changed him to the core. So a long sigh is escaping the knight as he folds the papers and sets them on the table just ahead of him in the room only to turn his full attention back to his companion and move so he is crouched down in front of the man of the blue.

"Sielu, what you've see was pretty terrifying, was it not? Do not worry my friend. I will not make you go back to that place. The Prince is no longer there it seems, so there is no reason to go. I will stay."

He's trying to be reassuring. He's trying to calm the man who has crumbled to pieces in front of all of them. This man who's soul can only storm so violently. Strong arms slip under him and lift him from the floor to gently place him back down on the bed next to the historian once more.

The Knight then pulls a chair out from the table at the head of the room and allows himself to sink down into it.

"I don't know who they refers to but if I ever find out, I may do something reckless." He sounds. "But from the sounds of things, and if those papers are to be believed, Pilvi is not wherever they are. He is with Svaardzjetrorahm. So if we can find him, we'll find the prince. Why he's traveling with the demon gunman, I have no idea. I thought they were destined to kill each other. "

Aamunkoitto's hand is at his chin, as Valo takes down his monocle to wipe his eyes. Both professors take a moment to collect themselves in their own way before they sigh, exchanging glances with each other. Pink eyes are fixated on green before their owner speaks.

"You're the historian, Valo. What do you know about it? You also speak the language. You've read some of their texts have you not?"

"I have, but not a lot of them. It wasn't common for us to get our hands on Windarian books, Aamunkoitto. I do speak the language but that doesn't mean I understand their culture besides their religion foretold Pilvi's death so that's why they agreed to the ceasefire so eagerly. They thought they were assured victory, when obviously something in the prophecy was wrong because Misterica is gone now and both the demon gunman and the demon swordsman are here, alive and together. I have no idea why Pilvi would travel with that man. The only thing I can think of, would be a lesser of two evils situation. "

"Alright, but then next question - the Dragon Lord is the devil himself, and destroyed Misterica so then - what is a greater evil than that? Whatever it is, if Pilvi wasn't with whoever they are willingly, and they forced him to commit the crimes on his head - means they could control the Celestial Mother - and what is capable of that?"

The orange star is crossing his arms over his chest and his gaze dips down.

"I have no idea."

His face is hot. His muscles are aching under the weight that keeps being piled on. His chest feels as if it'll explode with the force of the cries that won't stop.

They know something he doesn't. And he doesn't like the sound of it, of Pilvi being some Devil because Tiamat... and Pilvi...

It doesn't add up to them. They don't know what he knows just the same as he's clueless to anything that's happened while he's been with Herba.

But if Pilvi had been guarding his name, Sielu had ruined that long ago.

Safe. He tries to convince himself he's safe, but... he's not. None of them are because if Pilvi has been guarding his name then he has not been there willingly at all.

If there is a force powerful enough to control him, to control the Celestial Mother -

Revon doesn't stand a chance.

His mind twists as much as his face does, and he can already see the knight staring blankly ahead as every trace of him fades away, as people are screaming and dying and-

"No!" he yells, and that action hurts his chest, rips out of his throat painfully to leave him gasping again. He isn't supposed to protest, but he cannot let anyone else die. He can't, he can't, he can't.

"No, it's not- it's her fault and- and my fault, not his, they forced him- She'll kill you! They'll all kill you!"

They can hurt him. They can do whatever they want to him after this, but he can't let them all die. He can't let this keep happening.

The musician is rising from his place again, fighting pain and exhaustion to cross the room to where Revon is standing so he can grab hold of the man's closest arm.

He is tired and dizzy and afraid, but he's desperate more than he is those things.

"You- you can't, Revon, promise-" he pleads, casting his eyes up at the other and-

Pink. Pink and green and it makes him sick. But still he stares, frozen between now and some point in the past. There's no light left in his eyes, replaced only by fear and unexpressed grief that cannot be contained.

It's as if his voice has been taken from him, or perhaps all used up, because nothing else will come out.

She's always been so effective at silencing him, at bending his mind until it snaps and who's to say she'll ever release the hold she has on him? Her eyes are boring into him even now, even here.

But - she had been Revon only a moment ago.

And Revon is still here. She isn't here. Is she?

He notes the fact his muscles are straining to keep him up, doing everything they can for him but failing slowly just like they do every time, letting him drop straight down onto the floor.

Whether it's the inn or the airship, he isn't entirely sure. But lives are at stake, so again he is trying to pick himself up, though two apples isn't enough to let him do that. No, this is all he can accomplish physically.

Pleading is all he has.

"Revon," he gets out. "Revon, don't go. Please. Rakastan sinua."

[tutuandscoot]

Hey, you seem to be one of the few sane vm fans left, so i wanted to talk to you about something. I also believe the two of them aren't romantically involved and quite possibly never even were. I have a feeling that the reason why they don't do public collaborations and in general distanced themselves is bc the fans were so crazy. The only way they could have a normal life was to separate themselves so people would leave them alone. So people who so desperately wanted them together actually contributed to them distancing themselves from each other (at least publicly). I don't know why people think they hate each other now or don't talk at all. I think it would be smart of them to keep their interactions private since people can't behave themselves. I 100% believe they are still friends but prefer to keep it quiet so they can lead their lives without constant whispers and everyone analyzing them for the slightest clue they are together. I look at old blogs from 2018 and i cringe so badly, i cannot image how awful it was for them to see all that crazy. To have a wonderful relationship questioned at every turn and to feel like they can't be themselves because someone will interpret it a different way. It makes me sad, we kinda brought this upon ourselves. They felt the need to distance themselves because there was no other way for them to have a normal life. If they toured today people would still talk about their relationship and trash morgan and jackie. It is maddening. Sorry, this was kinda a rant, but i had to get it off my chest.

OMGGG Anon you have no idea how much I agree with this!!!!! This is so ridiculously on point and tbh I was actually thinking similar things the other day. Also… I LOVE RANTS so you’re rants are welcome here. Now settle in for one of mine ✌️

So firstly- while I wasn’t on blogs/Twitter any of that before like November last year- and in 2018/19 my extent of following VM was just following them on Insta. Basically everyday I’m so glad I have a blog about them NOW rather than 4 years ago coz I would not be able to handle it. I’m so sensitive and feel a lot about the people I admire (not just VM, others too: dancers, mentors, etc) and I would not be able to handle the hate- much like you even now with the small samplings it makes me sad. I have an VM Insta page as well and the other day someone just decided to drop into my DM’s and say ‘how could they have broken each other’s hearts’ and it made me so angry. I just deleted the msg coz I wasn’t gonna waste my time. 🙄

I 100% believe they were never romantically involved. I’ll do my best not to lay out all my points in another 5000 word essay but essentially what I see that others may constitute as ‘too lovey, familiar, comfortable with each other, etc..’ I put down to two things.

1. They are dancers. I’m a dancer and I’ve had to do similar stuff to what they do some programs (carmen, MR) with people I’ve just met, let alone known for 20years or was romantically involved with.

2. They are very very close friends who were by each other’s side for 22 years. They’ve been through everything together. They are so comfortable with each other. They love each other, they care about each other, but they can also be silly together and tease each other like best friends do. They themselves say they are each other’s family. Each other’s parents, siblings are as much their’s as their own.

But especially what people would freak out about during and post-PYC, the TTYCT and RTR, (according to some of the more toxic blogs) is they are mature adults who are obviously very secure in their sexuality. They know how to control themselves but are also very aware of their physicality and interactions together. And honestly, I think they are attracted to each other- they just don’t want to fuck each other. This along with the fact they had been partners for over 20 years. I think that’s the main thing people would forget when they blatantly objectified them: that VM don’t know any different. Being so close is all they know and if they were to have that taken away from them- not by their own choosing I think would utterly crush them. [The way they have managed it so well and are so at peace with it is because retiring was their decision and they did it exactly how they wanted] That’s how they show and express their love and after 20 + years of being under the microscope and so heavily scrutinised by judges, coaches, audiences and internet trolls, they become each other’s safe place. For ex: all the hugs/cuddles at the end of MR:

The soft face caressing and almost kisses (chore or otherwise):

Lovingly staring into each other’s eyes during interviews, endless complements for each other:

X X

That’s not them being romantic. That’s literally them being in their safe space. The figure skating world is harsh enough, let alone add on all the internet a**holes trolling coz they have nothing better to do with their lives. Those cuddles and caresses and looking into each other’s eyes is like home for them. I was thinking earlier how when they take their bows + leave the ice (more during shows but I guess also competitively) they almost always very quickly retreat back into each other. I don’t get the vibe they are overly comfortable under the spotlight (literally the rink lights but I guess also just in the public eye). They love performing, acting, dancing, skating and telling a story together, but I don’t think they crave that audience appreciation. Some performers do, which is fine. But they don’t. They do it for each other. So when a program ends and they cuddle/kiss/hold each other close, squeeze hands and tap tushies, etc, they are just being grateful for each other and probably do it as a comping mechanism for the screams and cheers and the odd feelings that causes. It’s like they say- they could not cope with being singles skaters. The only reason the do what they do is each other, and because they only feel safe in those uncomfortable environments because they have each other.

Now I’m not a therapist/psychologist, whatever, and I’m not trying to implying that people are dumb, but why is it so hard to accept that that closeness and affection is something more special and even more intimate than being romantically involved?? Maybe, as rare as it is, it’s something even more special that should be admired instead of criticised and probed at endlessly.

I truly don’t get the obsession with making up fake relationships between real people on the internet, I don’t get the point of it, especially when I’m the case of VM in ended in “heartbreak” and anger for the people “shipping them”. What is the benefit of making up and spreading shit about people you don’t even know? How low is that. Why are people so obsessed with people they don’t even know having sex they feel the need to bully people about it? That’s so fucked up to me.

I think it definitely contributed to them becoming more private. I also I think as they prepared for retirement it was a natural evolution. I pray they don’t know the extent of some of the trash online about them- I don’t even know the worst of it and I never want to coz like I said- it really upsets me. I think about that short video of them answering Twitter questions and one of them was ‘what’s the craziest rumour about you’ and the way which Scott says ‘there’s some nasty stuff out there’ in retrospect, breaks my heart, coz there’s stuff that he knows that he considers nasty. And that’s probably not even the worst if it.

They did not/do not deserve any of that. What did they do to deserve this? I hate when people say “it’s their fault, they bring it on themselves”. And while I don’t think everyone commenting that meant it literally- it’s was just more hyperbole, my limited knowledge of the extent of the toxic nature this place used to be says there were people who meant it- and used it as permission to objectify them.

As much as I often comment things like ‘omg just let me live’, I’m not thinking of it in terms of their ‘romantic relationship’ I just mean they are incredible performers, artists, and their partnership/existence together is so beautiful it makes my heart beat faster. And they are so brave for being who they are, with each other despite all the trash talkers.

So yes anon. I think you are very on point in that it contributed to them distancing themselves publicly. And I fucking hate that that’s a possibility. I don’t think it would ever, ever affect their feelings for each other tho. If anything, I think they would mutually feel that it was for each other’s wellbeing and safety, that they didn’t want each other to be affected by any trash.

And after everything they’ve been through, I think they are truly relishing in figuring out their friendship not only removed from skating, but from the public eye. I think that’s something they always looked forward to figuring out and exploring together. They are courageous, brave and creative people who aren’t afraid of new challenges, and while in the physical respect they aren’t as close as they use to be, I think in other ways they are learning to be even closer, and/or understand each other better. And that’s amazing after 22+ years of skating together, 25 + years knowing each other, that there is still more they get to learn about each other, and they aren’t sick of knowing each other. That’s amazing. I could not have more respect for them if I tried.

Something I had talked about recently/while ago, wtevr, was can people not comprehend that T&S know better than anyone in the world where they stand in terms of their feelings for each other. After that long together do people really have the audacity to think they can tell T&S how they actually feel about each other, that they know more, understand more about what T&S have been through. And that T&S deciding to be with other people romantically spits in the face of what everyone thinks is true love.. and them deciding to be with other people means point blank that they hate each other??? WTAF???

Scott committed to Tessa the day of their first competition when he fucked up the steps and she stayed with him. As long as Tessa wanted to do this with him, he would be by her side. He would not be the one to let this incredibly special girl down. Tessa gave up the national ballet school for Scott at just 9 years old because she had committed to him, and she would not break that commitment and because she was already starting to feel a special connection with him that the idea of dancing with one partner and creating these stories together appealed to her more than a ballet career. He stayed with her through her injuries, she helped him through the hard times leading up to Sochi, and they returned to competition TO BE WITH EACH OTHER. How do you just reject and forget all of that as soon as you stop spending every day together. So I don’t know if these online trolls are really that dumb, or just enjoy contributing to the destruction of perfectly stable relationships coz it’s fun.

They may not be able to find the words to define their relationship, but they know what it means to them, and they know it’s one of the most important things in their lives and they will always have each other. There’s no way in the world everything they have experienced together can be undone. And I hate that people can’t just accept that the famous people they wish had some perfect, typical love story don’t, and what T&S have, as unusual as it is, is not only better, but it’s what Tessa and Scott want. And if you claim to ‘love’ them, to be a ‘fan’ of them, you should genuinely care about them and want them to be happy, even if it’s not want you think is perfect for them- how would you know.

Hope this satisfied your feels anon ❤️❤️

*most of these gifs aren’t mine-full credit to owners

[allnewalldifferentwildspider]

Zuko & Katara's Relationship Dynamic

This is like the third or fourth time I've tried to write up this post so please bare with me.

Oh wow. That video. Hopefully everyone has seen it now. Not only did it articulate arguments I've been making for years, but it also brought up ideas I had never thought of or noticed before. Watching that and watching the second half of Book 3 again (because it's my favorite) made me want to redo my zutara dynamic post.

I'm going to be using the tiny bits and pieces the show gave us to see how Zuko and Katara's relationship looks and how it would look if they gave us more because...Bryke really fucking hated zutara. I mean, I guess they did.

Katara is compassionate; Zuko is empathetic

A lot of anti-zutara arguments have said that Zuko and Katara could never be together because they would constantly fight and hate each other and it end sooner than later. Not only does this actually describe maiko, but that argument would need to ignore the characters' actual character.

One of Katara's biggest character traits is how compassionate she is. She has a drive to help others and ease their pain. Whether it's getting Aang out of the iceberg or healing a Fire Nation fishing village, Katara will go out of her way to help someone in need.

Katara: No. I will never ever turn my back on people who need me.

Zuko is very emotional and passionate person. As much as he tried to hide it to appease his father, Zuko does want to open up and connect with people. Unfortunately, aside from his uncle, most of the other people he knows are like Zhao and Azula. Not the most understanding of crowds. But because of this he can pick up what people are really thinking and feeling. Think of it as a defense mechanism he developed growing up around people like Azula.

Get these two kinds of people together and you get the crystal catacombs scene. Katara lashes out at Zuko until she breaks down. When she does Zuko opens up with empathy since they have something in common. This creates the beginning of an understanding between the two. Zuko uses that to finally open up to someone who isn't his uncle and Katara listens and reaches out to help. Contrast to the first episode of Book 3 when Zuko tries to voice his thoughts and concerns to Mai and she...doesn't really care.

Something similar happens during The Southern Raiders. Zuko figures out that Katara is taking out her anger of being separated from her father by The Fire Nation onto him and even connecting her mother's death to him.

It's not the first time Zuko has done this either. He easily figured out that Sokka was planning on going to The Boiling Rock. He does it again during Sozin's Comet when he tells Katara that Aang needs to figure out what to do about Ozai by himself.

There's a noticeable pattern of behavior by the time Sozin's Comet arrives. Zuko voices his concerns about meeting his uncle again and Katara is right there to help him through it.

Zuko's empathy combined with Katara's compassion creates almost a cycle of understanding and emotional vulnerability that the two can't really get with anyone else. One notices the other having concerns or problems and goes to give comfort by words or by actions.

Zuko still has a temper but so does Katara

Even after Zuko's fever dream character change thing, even after The Day of Black Sun, he still has it in him to yell at anyone who commits even the slightest transgressions against him:

Aang: That one felt kinda hot. Zuko: Don't patronize me. You know what it's supposed to look like. Aang: Sorry, sifu hotman. Zuko: And stop calling me that!

Sokka: So all we have to do is make Zuko angry. Easy enough. *pokes him with his sword* *annoying laugh* Zuko: All right! Cut it out!

Maybe it's the firebender in him or maybe he really is just like that. Basically if you annoy him, he'll let you know. What people sometimes overlook is that while it takes Katara a bit longer, she also gets worked up when people upset her.

Toph: What's the matter? Can't handle some dirt, Madame Fussy Britches? Katara: Oh, sorry, did I splash you, mud slug?

And remember, it was Katara getting angry at Sokka that even broke the iceberg that revealed Aang.

Katara: Ugh, I'm embarrassed to be related to you! Ever since Mom died I've been doing all the work around camp while you've been off playing soldier! Sokka: Uh... Katara? Katara: I even wash all the clothes! Have you ever smelled your dirty socks? Let me tell you, NOT PLEASANT! Sokka: Katara! Settle down! Katara: No, that's it. I'm done helping you. From now on, you're on your own!

The point is that it is both Zuko and Katara that are very passionate and emotional people. One of them isn't emotionally dominating the other because they both wear their emotions on their sleeves.

This also comes in to play when they set goals for themselves. When Zuko sets a goal, he puts everything into it. Katara is the same way. The difference is that Zuko's drive sometimes gives him a one-track mind while Katara is more flexible. Like for example Zuko being so focused on finding Aang before Sozin's Comet that he ignores Toph's story about her childhood versus Katara wanting to go to the North Pole but taking time to stop and help whoever they come across.

This passion also fuels their values and how strongly they stand by their beliefs. I already put The Painted Lady quote up above but Zuko's morality is what is making him so angry at himself during The Beach. He knows what he did was wrong, but he couldn't face it yet.

Sometimes their emotions get the better of them, but it's only because they are passionate about what they're doing.

Their natural teamwork is amazing

I can't provide a lot of clues in this bit because it's more of a visual thing. Just consider how flawlessly their plans worked during their attack on The Southern Raiders. Especially when you consider that it was a stealth mission so they barely even said anything to each other during and it still went incredibly well.

You could see it again during their mock battle with The Melon Lord. Sokka must have noticed because he paired them together to deliver some "liquidy-hot offence." And they pulled it off, again, without having to say anything.

They've only been a team for a few weeks(?), days(?) but they act as if they've been doing it for years.

They trust each other's judgment

Piggybacking of the previous point, Zuko and Katara have only been a team for a while but there seems to be a level of understanding in terms of judgement. They both know that whatever the other chooses is going to be a well-thought out decision. Maybe it's because they see each other as the mature members of the group even though Sokka is the same age as Zuko? I don't know.

Aang disappears right before they embark on their fight against the Fire Lord, and out of nowhere, Katara puts Zuko in charge.

Zuko: Get out of the bison's mouth, Sokka. We have a real problem here. Aang is nowhere to be found and the comet is only two days away. Katara: What should we do Zuko? Zuko: I don't know. Why are you all looking at me? Katara: Well, you are kind of the expert on tracking Aang.

and that wasn't the first time in that episode that she went along with one of Zuko's decisions

Katara: Aang, don't walk away from this. *She begins to walk towards him as a hand touches her shoulder to stop her from doing so.* Zuko: Let him go. He needs time to sort it out by himself.

As a lot of people have pointed out during the entirety of The Southern Raiders, Zuko never gives a suggestion on what he thinks Katara should do. Aside from making it a stealth mission, he follows her lead the entire way.

Katara teases Zuko (and he lets her)

The fun one. This one has two parts: pre and post The Southern Raiders.

Before The Southern Raiders, Katara was tolerating Zuko. She was still angry with him about the betrayal at Ba Sing Se. Getting little jabs at him was the only thing that was really helping her from loosing her cool around him.

Katara: I'm sorry. I'm just laughing at the irony. You know... how it would have been nice for us if you lost your firebending a long time ago? Zuko: Well it's not lost. It's just weaker for some reason. Katara: Maybe you're just not as good as you think you are. Toph: Ouch.

He just finished yelling at Aang and Sokka but all he does is glare at Katara. She does it again, but to be fair, he kind of set himself up for it.

Zuko: It's a sacred form that happens to be thousands of years old! Katara: Oh yeah? What's your little form called? Zuko: ...The Dancing Dragon.

Then comes post The Southern Raiders and...yeah, she's still picking on him and he still lets her. Granted it's a lot more playful this time around.

Zuko: They make me totally stiff and humorless. Katara: Actually, I think that actor's pretty spot on. Zuko: How could you say that? Actor Uncle: Let's forget about the Avatar and get massages. Actor Zuko: How could you say that?! (Cut back to Katara wearing a satisfied grin on her face and she looks to an expressionless Zuko as he slouches in his seat.)

I love pointing it out every time. She teases him and he does nothing about it.

Katara: Er, no. I was looking for cooking pots in the attic and I found this. Look at baby Zuko! Isn't he cute? Oh lighten up, I was just teasing.

And she admits it!

-

So what can we take away from this? From what little time they were given together (thanks, Bryke) it seems that Zuko and Katara really understand each other on an intimate emotional level. They can sense when the other is distressed and offer comfort. They're both passionate in and out of combat, for better or for worse. They're comfortable with each other as if they've known each other for years even though it's such a short time. Katara also likes to add a little bit of playfulness in there with Zuko letting her have her fun, again, showing how comfortable they are with each other.

I do think their relationship could have gone to romantic sooner than later if you would have given it a bit more time. Like first half of a hypothetical Book 4.

To me, at least.

[heathermcnamara3628]

There's also this

Late Night Talks

Pony's POV

     I jolted upward from my very unrestful slumber. I had just had a nightmare. Desperately, I looked around for Soda. After a little bit, I came to a realization. Sodapop wasn't here anymore. He was dead. He died in action. But he couldn't be dead. He was alive. He was alive and fighting and trying to get home. He wasn't dead. But he was. He was dead, and it was Darry's fault. Darry let him leave. Darry got my big brother killed.

     I felt something wet on my cheek, and that's when I realized that I was crying. I quickly got up out of bed, going over to the closet. After digging through it for what seemed like forever, I found what I was looking for. Soda's old flannels. I grabbed one and wrapped it around me, taking in the slowly fading smell that used to be my brothers. It took a few minutes, but I started to calm down. After I'd convinced myself that everything was okay, I quietly walked across the small room and to the door.

     I put a shaky hand on the knob, turning it slowly to keep the noise down, then opened the door up. I was thankful that the hinges hadn't made their usual loud squeak, or else Darry would be coming over to yell at me to go back to bed. I quietly crept out down the hall and into the kitchen, grabbing one of the cups from the cupboard. I turned the cold handle of the sink just a bit, so that the water would come out in a small trickle, then filled the cup.

     Once my cup was filled, I turned the water off, then started the small trek back the my room. As I got closer to the bathroom, I realized that the shower was running. I froze where I stood, watching. I couldn't help but hope that Soda would walk out of the bathroom, asking me where his shirt or pants were as soon as he saw me. He never yelled at me. It was almost like Soda couldn't yell at me. I could get in trouble with the cops, and all he'd do was tell me that I should've been more careful, keeping his voice soft. If Darry heard that I had a fuzz run in, he'd be damn near tempted to beat me.

     The bathroom door suddenly opened, and instead of Soda, it was Darry. As soon as I saw him, I backed up and hoped that he didn't see me. Sadly, he did. He saw me real well too.

     "Morning little buddy," he said. I was in shock, and not just because he only ever really called Soda that, so the nickname 'little buddy' hadn't been used in a while, but because he didn't seem angry with me. He jus seemed calm.

     "Morning Dar..." I replied, obviously somewhat shaken.

     He gave me a soft, tired smile, then went into the kitchen. I followed him slowly behind, trying to be as quiet as I could. Darry didn't bother looking back at me. Instead, he went and grabbed a carton of eggs and went to work on breakfast. I watched from a little ways away as he cooked, sipping my water every so often. For the first time since we'd received the letter saying Soda was dead, Darry and I were in the same room, and at peace. I could just barely picture Soda looking down on us with mom and dad, a small smile on his face, eyes lit up, proud at Darry and I for getting along. Proud at the gang for building what small bit was left of it back up. Proud of everything. Hell, even though I didn't wanna think about it too much, he was probably proud of Sandy too.

     The last time I saw Sandy was at Soda's funeral. Darry had let her come, but only because he knew that Soda would've wanted her to. It was weird to see her again. This time though, she wasn't the Sandy who had lived in Tulsa. She wasn't Soda's girl. She was a single mother who'd come to visit only to find out that the man she wanted to say sorry to was dead in a trench somewhere. The one she'd kept a child for, was gone. He was gone before she could say goodbye. Gone before she could apologize for leaving him. Gone before she could tell him that she wanted him back. She had cried a lot that day. The worse part though, was seeing her after. She was still crying a bit, even though she didn't need to be, and her tears and lack of being able to pull herself together, prevented her from explaining to the small, almost two year old girl, why she was crying.

     A loud noise snapped me out of memory lane, and I looked up to see Darry grabbing plates. He had what looked to be a worried expression on his face, though I couldn't really tell, and he seemed more tense then he was before. I brushed it off, watching as he got some food on a plate. He then turned, handing the plate to me. I took it and went to sit at the table. Darry followed shortly after.

     Once I'd started eating, Darry looked at me from across the table, a serious look on his face. I looked back at him, chewing a bit slower then I was before, thinking that the look he was giving me was just because he thought I was going to choke if I kept chewing so fast. For the second time tonight, I was wrong. Very wrong.

     "Alright Ponyboy, you've got some explaining to do," he told me. "It's one o'clock in the morning, on a school night of all things, and it's also four hours until my paper comes, yet here we are."

     I looked down at my food, picking at it with my fork. "I had a nightmare and couldn't fall back asleep," I mumbled. I looked back up to see that Darry's eyes had gone soft, and that he had a sympathetic look on his face.

     He nodded a bit, then said, "I suppose that's better then 'I haven't slept', or 'I feel sick'."

     "Yeah... I guess it is huh?" I was talking quietly, just because I had no clue if Darry would want me to raise my voice even the slightest. I didn't wanna risk it.

     He let out a long, exasperated sigh, then took a small bite of his food. I finally swallowed mine, then excused myself for a bit to go get more water. I could tell that Darry was watching me, or that he was about to say something. He was always the first to break silences that didn't need to be, or that didn't want to be broken.

     "Well Pone, since you're up, I guess I might as well talk to you about a thing or two." I nodded quietly, not wanting to talk. My mind was continuously wandering back to thoughts of Soda, Johnny, and sometimes even Dally. It made me wanna cry, but I knew that that was something I just couldn't do in front of Darry.

     Once I sat back down, he opened his mouth again, ready to speak. "I just wanted to let you know that I understand that things have been hard for you lately. I can't even imagine how awful this must be on you, having lost three people in the span of not even two years. I really do feel your pain. I know that I don't act like I do, but that's because I have ti be the strong one.

     "It's just as hard for me as it is for you. But I can however say with an honest heart, that Soda would want you to move on. He would want you to try and live a happy life again, even if that means forgetting about him for a bit. He cared a whole lot about you Pone. You need to let him know that he can rest easy." I nodded a bit, and the tears started flowing.

     Shoving my breakfast away from me, I got up. Darry looked up at me, seeming surprised. "I'm gonna go back to bed Dar. Also, I hope you don't mind, but I'm gonna go see Curly tomorrow." I didn't even let him answer, just went back to bed with a clear conscious, hoping that now, maybe sleeping would come easy.

Word count: 1426

[honeysuckleharrison]

Run For Your Life Parts V-VII

pairing- George Harrison x Reader

warnings- So much fluff, Implied smut

year- 1964

Summary- You're falling hard for George.  There's just a few problems. John Lennon is your protective older brother, and their band, The Beatles are leaving for their first tour in America.  

Word count- 1k+

Disclaimer/ AN-  So hi, this is the first fic I've published.  This is FICTION. So the timeline may not match up with reality.  For example, Julians not in it. So ignore that, and just enjoy the story for what it's worth.  Anyways, I'm so excited to release my first fic. If you guys have any questions, or comments or anything, please comment or as, don't be afraid to talk to me.  I have up to part IX almost done, so expect to see more parts soon!

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      It was almost 1am.  You were growing impatient after having to wait so long to sneak out.  You were so ready to feel George's touch again. But you were stuck on this couch for a little longer.  With the relationship getting more serious, you had to be sure John couldn't find out. You waited a little later this time just to be sure John and Cynth were asleep.      

  You laid there for what seemed like an eternity longer. You checked the clock again.  It was 2:28 am. You weren't as nervous this time around. Having successfully done this once, you knew you were capable.  So as you got up, put your flip flops and reached for the handle, you felt ready for what the night had to offer.

      When you knocked on George's door something seemed different.  You skipped the conversation, you ran your mouths enough at Strawberry Fields earlier.  Before you could say hi you were making out on the couch. Geo's soft lips were on yours, kissing deeper than they ever have before.  His hands has successfully slipped under you shirt, and he was holding your bare waist. You shivered as his cool fingertips reached up your chest.  It felt so good to have him on top of you again.

      His lips moved from yours, and started trailing down your neck.  His hot kisses were warm on the sensitive skin of your neck. As he reached your collar bone, you could feel him start to suck.  Shit. That would leave a mark. You wanted him bad, but this was too fast.

      "George" you said through short, breathy moans.  You pushed his chest up, and he took his lips off your skin.  

      "Yes, Love?" he asked.  He looked at you for a second and continued "Is- is this too much we can stop for tonight if you want dear"

      "No, please no." you begged.  You were needy for him now, you just needed to breathe.  "I just needed a second, and I don't want you leaving marks." you added, smirking.  George nodded and sat up. You sat up in front of him. He placed a small peck on your cheek before standing up, and reaching his hand out for yours.  You took his hand and he pulled you up off the couch, leading you to his room.

     He pulled you through the doorway, and brought you close to him.  He reached down and kissed you hungrily. You held him tight. You wanted him so bad.  

          While his lips were busy on yours, his hands pulled on the hem of your shirt.  You got the hint, and pulled away. You pulled your shirt off and threw to the floor.  George stared at your exposed skin. His eyes were wide with lust. You came back to George, and lifted his shirt off.  His chest was smooth and pale. He was just slightly toned. He had the beginning of abs, but they weren't too defined. His arms and shoulders has the slightest muscles.

         He pulled you back class to him, and pushed his lips into yours.  His skin was warm against yours. His hands were holding your shoulders, and yours were around his waist.  He slid his hands down until the met the clasp on your bra. He undid it smoothly in one try. Moving your hands off of him, you let the garment slide to the floor.  

       He pulled you in for a quick passionate kiss before pushing you back onto the bed.  He climbed over you and kissed you softly on the lips. He reached his hands down to the button of your jeans and looked into your eyes.

      "You ready?" He asked with the cutest grin.

      "Yes George." You moaned.

Part VI

It was meant to be your last day and John's.  He was going to drive you home after you ate dinner with him and Cynthia.  The events from last night still buzzed through your mind. You couldn't stop thinking about George, and how much you'd miss him while he was away.  You had to see him one more time. You had to tell him how amazing he was.

        As Cynthia cooked, and you washed the dishes beside her, you made a suggestion.  

      "Cynth, um, if you don't mind, could I stay another night? y'know, help you pack." Cynthia smiled.  She was happy that you were enjoying your time with her, and that she would have another hand helping out.  

      "I don't see why not, you wouldn't be a bother, you've done nothing but help me."  Cynthia said in agreement.

      "Perfect, thanks so much." you thanked her, leaning in to give her a side hug.

      At dinner, you asked John, and he agreed too.  John started asking you about your stay.

       "Have you been enjoying yourself?" He asked between bites.  

       "Yeah actually, it's been really nice to be in a new place, y'know.  I got so used to going to school everyday, it's nice to have a change in scenery."  you explained. You and John were both artistic people. You hated routine. It was the quality that made John's music so good, and one of the many things you have in common with George.   

      "I'm glad," John said, "Have you been enjoying the studio visits."

      "Yes!" you answered honestly, you just couldn't say exactly why you enjoyed visiting the studio as much as you did.  "It was nice to get a sneak peek of the album. You guys are really good. You're gonna be the biggest band ever."

      "I've heard we are the biggest band in America, but I don't believe it."  he admitted.

      "Don't doubt yourself.  The tours gonna be great.  You and Cynth get to travel the world together." you joked.

      "It'll be nice," John said, "You excited darling?" He asked Cynthia.

      "Yes!" she exclaimed, "I really am.  I'm so excited. I get to spend time with you, and see new places.  And I get to see New York, I'm so excited." she rambled. Seeing her so happy made you smile.  

        "I'm glad your excited, but we don't get much free time on tour.  We have to play 25 shows in 26 days. The other boys usually spend their nights being wild and getting as many girls as they can." John said seriously.  

       That was a little concerning.  George could really get any girl he wanted, couldn't he?  But he wouldn't. There was no way. He was so romantic towards, and he was falling for you hard.  A one night stand in America wouldn't compare to you. Would it? You felt sure that George wouldn't continue his normal behavior on this tour.  There was no way he would. George was too good to you, you didn't even want to think that anything could go wrong.

Part VII

You knocked on George's door with a wide smile.  The reason you asked to stay another night was to pay a surprise visit to George.  You couldn't stop thinking about last night, you just needed to see him one more time.  The American tour would be long, you'd miss him.

      He opened the door and looked delighted to see you.

      "Y/n, I wasn't expecting you tonight."  he laughed.

      "I know" you said, "I wanted to surprise you.  I needed to see you again before you left."

      "Come in, love, please." he begged.  As you stepped in, he pulled you into a warm hug.  You weren't craving one another in the same way as the night before.  Tonight you just wanted to curl up next to each other and say goodbye.  

      You sat down on the couch and he just held you.  He put his head on your chest, and your fingers ran through his hair.  You were so comfortable you wished he didn't have to leave.

      "I'm gonna miss you so much, Geo." you huffed.  He looked up into your eyes and adjusted himself so that his head was in your lap.  

      "I'm gonna miss you more, flower." He smirked, "We can see each other as soon as I get back, I promise."  As he spoke he sat up. When he finished making his promise, he pressed a soft kiss against your lips. He tried to deepen the embrace, and reach his hands for your waist but you pushed him up.

      "Not tonight, Geo." you sighed, "I just want to enjoy your company while I can."

      "Ok," he said understandingly.  He rested his head on your chest again.

      "What am I gonna do without you, Harrison?" you pondered, "I'm really gonna miss yo-"

      "Wait" George interrupted, quickly sitting up straight.

      "What's wrong?" you asked.

      "I didn't know you were coming, so I didn't ask Ringo to stay out later." he explained.

      "What?" you said, confused and scared.

      "Shit," he muttered under his breath, "Ringo should be home soon, this is when he usually gets home."  George looked more scared than you had ever seen him. He started getting off the couch. You felt a chill as he left your side, and you expression dropped even more.  

      "Y/n, we have to get you out of here before he comes." he said sternly.

      "Ok." you agreed, getting up off the couch. "Are you sure I have to leave? I won't see you again for a month."

      "I'm afraid so love.  I don't want you to leave either.  I'm gonna miss your pretty little smile, and your lips." he said leaning in closer to your face, and taking your hands in his.  "I'm really gonna miss you, y/n, goodni-"

      He was cut short by the sound of the door opening.  You both turned your heads quickly to the door to see a startled Ringo standing there.

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An- Ahhh. I'm leaving you guys on a cliff hanger. Any predictions yet. Most of the clues are there. Tell me what you liked and disliked so far. I wanna hear your opinions

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Taglist- @honeyandtulips @fiesta-freddie @foreverandtayways