#and it's been so refreshing tbh
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#(ignore please)#(or don't idk idrc i just wanted to ramble lol)#man. i feel like a blank canvas here#and it's been so refreshing tbh#i loved the other place and it did make me so happy but it's also been sullied by so much bullshit in the past six months#not all of it is even stuff that i experienced directly on the blog#most interactions i come across just seem so insincere and idk the vibes are so off#like damn. maybe it did become a popularity contest and *coughs* an ass kissing circle#:////#this is definitely bc my 2-year blogiversary is coming up and i'm reflecting lol#if you follow me on both blogs then you've probably noticed that i've been a lot more... idk comfortable here?#i'm still blissfully unaware of a lot of things here and i would like to keep it that way lmao#damn the most disappointing part over there is still the boatload of moots i thought were cool who just ended up jumping on their-#high horses the first chance they got lol. made vague posts that didn't even really say anything but other people just latched onto the-#buzzwords and clapped along like possessed sheep lmao#smh i miss tumblr back in 2022#tldr: jen is emo about the blogiversary#jen also kinda hates a lot of people over there lmao#jen rambles
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my sillies
#undescribed#danger days#party poison#show pony#jet star#danger days art#ttlotfk#the true lives of the fabulous killjoys#fan art#fanart#ttlotfk fan art#ttlotfk danger days#danger days fanart#jetpoisonpony#i haven't drawn them in so long#it's kind of refreshing tbh#i love them so much#and I've been wanting to make better designs for jet and party after i made ones for kobra show and ghoul#so i finally got to do ut :3#honestly it was really fun playing around with what i wanted Jet's hair to be#i think there's so much lost potential there for lots of people to design it differently than what ray had for the music videos#not that i think his hair wasn't already pretty but like i see so many people do fun things with the rest of the fab four's hair!!!!#so i wanted to switch it up a little#kerosene art
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hello!!! i was able to get all my bills paid for this month without overdrafting my bank account, which is amazing 🥹 but my rent is coming up and due on the first, i only have $5 in my bank account but i need $750 to pay rent 😭😭😭 im working my ass off on comms in the coming weeks, if anyone is interested in getting one in the meantime im extremely open! $80 for a single character and $120 for two characters!
and if you cant afford that and just want to throw a few bucks at me that's much appreciated too!!! anything helps at all, anything will help me not be severely overdrafted before my next (very small) paycheck hits on the first of january!
im still on the job hunt and nothing has turned out so far unfortunately :( commissions are my main source of income for the time being since the job market is in shambles
pp: paypal.me/bewearrr
vnm: tobias_leviathan
0/750
#i know im not gonna be able to get my ENTIRE rent but if im able to get more than half of it i'd feel a lot safer than i do now#last month i had to Severely overdraft my bank account and i lost a whole $700 paycheck to it and i was fucked for the rest of the month#but i pulled myself out of THAT hole... i think i could do it again#comms have been going smoothly and ive been trying my best to finish them in a timely manner#i have a bunch from earlier this year as well as some YCH slots ive been banging out#its been nice doing art more frequently tbh ive been enjoying it#i have one im Almost finished with it took me so long bc there were 3 versions of the image but im finishing that today#and then onto the next one!!#my bf bought me tickets to a concert this past weekend so i was doing that and lost a few days of working time since we had to travel for it#but it was nice to get out of the house and attend an Event with someone i love dearly that was refreshing to my soul
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One of the main reasons why I used to avoid Isekai’s, and fantasy works in general, like the plague is because of how over saturated they’d become with things that didn’t feel like they even belonged to the genre to begin with… it’s not too hard to find works that stand out but so much of those works have been pushed down and forgotten, it just sucks.
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#one of the many reasons why fantasy in general outside of a few things has never stuck with me or have even been a go to genre to engage#with if it was simply just that and nothing else added to subvert the genres 🧍🏾♀️#at least enough for me to enjoy myself… and I’m an insanely picky person too so…#isekai’s really did get turned into incel shit and sm of them are pedo/incest pandering as well#the amount of times I’ve run into an isekai where the warrior ends up marrying his daughter at the end of the series-#never got over that one where the son was falling in love with his mom bro that series could’ve been so fun#and a lot of the scenes with them would have them almost appearing as though they were a couple… the Romantic scene on the beach 💩…#kms rn-#and sm fantasty stuff is full of assault as well because they want to be like berserk so badly uhhh#it’s kinda crazy#rambling#I’m mostly desensitized to a lot of this stuff in fiction depending on how they’re presented but I usual usually scroll by/read the things#as quickly as possible just to get done with it#I don’t rly skip most things tbh :(#DM is refreshing though it’s very charming and colorful#I don’t have much to say for frieren since I never really cared to get into it but I’m sure it’s endearing for most
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✨important ko-fi update✨
i figured out how to fix my ko-fi unsubscribing problem without deleting my whole acocunt (i just went through and unsubscribed everyone who was still subscribed and then turned off the option to be a monthly supporter 🎉 )
(it turns out it was a very easy fix/answer to the dilemma i was having lol - there was even an official walkthrough from ko-fi)
so!! instead of just deleting my account completely, i've gone and made all the stories there public, so everyone can read them if they'd like! the links to the google docs where the fics are are in the summaries of the posts in the gallery tab of my ko-fi. they vary from familiar aus we've talked about on tumblr (like wine party au and divorce lawyer au) to aus that have fics on ao3 (like pbatmb & stacy's mom au) to aus that i created really just for ko-fi (like jedi healer anakin au & mermay au)
when i get around to posting the fics on ao3 from ko-fi (sometime in 2025, depending on my serotonin levels), i'll delete the fic from the gallery. but this way people who had access before because they were supporters get to keep their access even after their subscriptions expire!! and folks who do want to read the stories but couldn't because of budget get them too 😊
#kit's ko-fi#happy saturday#obikin#so if you did save all those links cause i told you to i am so so sorry#but i promise i did a ton of empty-minded clicking and refreshing today too#but anyway for all subscribers i did go through everyone and make sure all subscriptions said 'canceled'#but if you get billed for the next round please let me know so i can figure out the refund process!!#and for everyone else: enjoy! 🤗#and if you wanna buy me a coffee as i write my last essay for my first semester of grad school#i would not say no i would say thank you thank you thank you with multiple virtual kisses#only 4 more days to go folks#these last few tags have just been for me tbh im gnawing at the bit to be done
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heyyy sierraaaa👋🏻😗 how have you been?
i think i have something to get your creative juices flowing😉
hangyul head pusher😃😃🤲🏻🤰🏻pls i need to have his babies😫
~🦊
hangyul's fingers twisted into your hair, gathering it into a makeshift ponytail as he guided your head with deliberate firmness. his thumb grazed the nape of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. "so pretty," he murmured, his voice low and breathy, half-lidded eyes fixed on you. "you have no idea how good you look right now."
his hand tightened in your hair, tugging slightly to angle your face upward before he pressed you further down onto him. the low groan he let out sent a rush of heat through you. "yeah, just like that," he praised, his free hand caressing your cheek for a fleeting moment before returning to his thigh. the warmth of his touch lingered as he kept his gaze locked on yours, the raw intensity in his eyes making your head spin.
you hollowed your cheeks, drawing another throaty moan from him, and the grip in your hair tightened.
"fuck," hangyul hissed, his jaw clenching. he pushed your head down again, his hips canting forward just enough to feel the back of your throat. "you take me so well. such a good girl for me," he breathed, his voice thick with lust.
each thrust was deliberate, controlled, as he guided you, letting out breathy curses and groans that only fueled your eagerness. he looked utterly wrecked, lips parted, his chest heaving, and you couldn't help but feel a swell of pride at the way he was falling apart because of you.
hangyul didn't give you a chance to take control- not even for a second. his hand stayed firm in your hair, tugging and guiding your head exactly how he wanted. the way he pushed and pulled you along his length was deliberate, almost possessive, like he couldn't let you set the pace. he leaned back slightly, his lips curving into a wicked smirk as he watched you try to keep up with his rhythm, your eyes already glassy with unshed tears.
"look at you," he muttered, his voice rough and low, his thumb brushing over your cheek as a tear slipped free. "so fucking pretty like this-" his words faltered, replaced by a guttural groan as his hips bucked up to meet your lips. "those little tears in your eyes... you don't even know what you're doing to me."
the trust in your gaze made his chest tighten, the way you let him control everything without hesitation or fear. it wasn't just the heat of the moment- it was the unspoken understanding, the silent surrender that had him reeling. "you’re doing so well for me." he rasped, his tone softening even as his grip remained unrelenting.
hangyul's sharp eyes caught the bead of saliva trailing from the corner of your mouth, glistening as it dripped down toward your chin. his hand moved quickly, his fingers swiping it up with precision before it could fall any further. he didn't say a word at first, just watching you as his chest heaved, his length still buried in your mouth as he guided your every move.
a wicked grin tugged at his lips as he brought the glistening finger to his own mouth. his tongue darted out, slowly licking the slick off his fingertip, savoring the moment. "you taste so fucking good," he muttered, the rough edge in his voice sending a new wave of heat through you.
the sight of him, his half-lidded gaze locked onto yours while he tasted every bit of what you'd left behind, only fueled the fire between you. his grip in your hair didn't falter as he pushed you back down, his fingers curling tighter, a silent command that left no room for hesitation.
"fuck, i love you like this," he murmured, his voice breaking with a rawness that only made his next thrust deeper, his hips stuttering as he chased the high you gave him so effortlessly.
hangyul's grip in your hair tightened as his breathing grew heavier, each low groan vibrating through him.
his hips stilled for a moment before he pushed your head down even further, holding you there as his release hit. a guttural, moan escaped his lips, his hand firm at the base of your skull to ensure you didn't pull away. his eyes fluttered shut for a second, overwhelmed by the sensation, before reopening to watch you- his most intoxicating sight.
"don’t waste a single drop," he warned, his voice hoarse as his thumb brushed the curve of your jaw, ensuring you swallowed everything. even as his hand slowly eased its hold on your hair, he wasn't done with you yet. pulling you back just enough for his length to slip from your lips, hangyul let out a deep exhale, still visibly reeling from the high.
"come here," he rasped, tilting your chin up. his thumb pressed against your swollen bottom lip, slipping past it as you instinctively opened for him. a satisfied smirk played on his lips as he dragged it across your tongue, smearing the remnants of his release around your lips. "you look so fucking good like this," he murmured, his eyes dark with possessive hunger as his thumb traced over your slick mouth.
"you're mine," he added, voice soft yet commanding, leaning down to kiss the corner of your mouth, tasting the mixture of himself and you. "every last bit of you."
#☆ ; hey listen ?#HEYHEYY BUBI I MISSED YOU#ive been so well hehe ive been on a bit of a cleaning spree these past few days i feel so refreshed#i hope youve also been well!!!#i need to kiss you sooo bad tbh i sO agree#i need him soooo bad 😣😣#please m literally just a hole for him thats literally my only purpose <//3#ONE CHANCE HANGYUL ONE CHANCE#☆ ; my 🦊 ᰔᩚ#☆ ; brr brr sierra on the phone ?#lee hangyul smut#lee hangyul hard hours#lee hangyul hard thoughts#lee hangyul imagine#lee hangyul x reader#hangyul bae173 smut#hangyul bae173 hard hours#hangyul bae173 hard thoughts#hangyul bae173 imagine#hangyul bae173 x reader#bae173 smut#bae173 hard hours#bae173 hard thoughts#bae173 imagine#bae173 x reader#polarix smut#polarix hard hours#polarix hard thoughts#polarix imagine#polarix x reader
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From my notes....... like to me Sharena is projecting a little bit, here. She's frustrated with Veronica not only because of her behavior, but because if SHARENA EVER acted out anywhere NEAR that way. Maybe there would be severe consequences. Maybe it's something Sharena makes an effort to correct, within herself, before any consequences can catch her. And yet. Despite all that. Sharena still has moments of attitude and dare I say, Stubbornness, too.
#my notes#book 1 lore#maybe??#idk i feel like i should be tagging the 'studies' i'm doing LMFAO#but like it has been SO fun and so refreshing to me actually. sharena is a sweetie a hype man 110%#but MAN. I REALLY DID OVERLOOK. THE ATTITUDE ON HER. and tbh i'm thinking of other instances too#where maybe she's blunt and fails to consider other people's feelings. thinking of a few alfonse interactions here#like. to me. i think sharena is a FASCINATING case. of someone who struggles to see beyond herself#but she longs for connection SO BAD. and she wants to reach others SO BAD. and she's SUCH a ray of sunshine#but SO much of her is also just muddied by the fact that she's just. constantly performing.#it's REALLY hard to see her bc of that.#she's not lying and she's not disingenuous..... but she is so deep in the performance of what she 'should be'#or how she 'should act' to achieve a desired result (often friendship -- which ALSO kicks her in the ass)#bc it's just. so hard to see her under there. but moments like THESE i feel like she jumps out#when she's blunt and when she's frustrated. back talking the commander!!!! damn girl!!!!!!#idk idk unfortunately i think there is a reason i struggled to fully look at sharena. esp early on#but i love her. i love her so much i'm gonna thrup.#sharena
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Confession
I recently fell into the Ace Attorney rabbit hole, and I don't know if I'm capable of climbing back out.
#i don't really have the time to do fanart#but i've fallen pretty hard into it#it makes me want to get active on my dashboard again#just so i can reblog some stuff to main#it's kinda refreshing tbh#i've been obsessing over NSR for so long#that i forgot what a 'normal' fandom even looks like#i dunno if this is gonna be a:#'friendship with NSR ended. new best friend: ace attorney'#kinda thing#but it is slowly becoming my new obsession#the movie and the fan musical are way better than they have any right to be#the anime is okay.#and i shouldn't have to tell y'all that the games are fantastic (at least what i've played so far)#it's a series that's always been in my purview since the original release but i was convinced that a visual novel#couldn't really be a 'game' so i didn't go for it when i was younger#also. i kinda thought pheonix was stupid looking and i couldn't get over that.#but much like leonardo watch before him. he is baby and i love him#i'm so sorry that i disrespected you like that ToT
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maybe it's to maintain a sense of tension & turmoil that would eventually reach an explosive peak, a sense of tug-of-war, a back-and-forth to hammer home the ideals they want to deliver and for the viewers to chew on, but although these arguments regarding hiroshi & his stance as a man torn between his loyalty for his country & the loyalty for his Filipino friends and lover is of course important, how they write these scenes & the points they present from this week alone is getting too repetitive...? literally the argument scenes from last night & tonight between adelina & hiroshi is basically the same; the ideas were the same, the dynamics were the same: the aggressive, radical adelina, bristling rage and fear over the injustices she's seen thus far, and the cautious, inspiriting hiroshi, all hopefulness and reassurance one moment as a lover, defensiveness and sternness as a japanese soldier in another. this debate will be ever-present ofc, it is one of the series' biggest conflicts, but it is unfortunately so easy to tell when it is a.) being pulled up as a main topic to move the plot along / be a necessary conflict for character development/introspection / be the conflict to deliver the morals & messages the writers want to send to their viewers, or b.) when it is being pulled up only for the drama and filler to pass the time. like watching the characters sit down to argue for 10 minutes, do other things for the plot for 2 minutes, then sit down again to argue for the next 20 minutes. lol.
#lots of things i wish they would soon improve but this 1 bothered me tonight..stopped watching halfway thru#these scenes would be like excellent breaks for when we need to take a breather to digest what's been going on#but at the slow pace they've set it it's just...nothing's been going on since like...4 days ago#except for eduardo's plot#it's just arguments..everywhere....all the time....over the same repetitive things#no progress nothing new to chew on despite there being drastic changes to their situation...? same vibes from the time they weren't occupie#yet lol. same dynamics mostly#only new points of debate is regarding hiroshi & his country vs friends conflict#& carmela being desperate to go back to comfort & luxury vs her family standing as firm as they could against the occupation#ahhh i am sooo not eloquent enough to express my full thoughts but like!!! fellow viewers if y'all r here u understand me right lmfoskadhsg#finding it hard to criticize bc i'm trying to make sense of where they r coming from#a.) seeing as unlike mcai this is a complete original story it's hard to see what direction they'd like to take it to#b.) fil shows really find it hard to break away from their normal formulas of family dramas & bastard children & love triangles :'))))#god the opportunity to tell a refreshing diff story but this is like gma show 67627627th but set in the japanese era....then mixed with 50%#of the mcai show feel#the editing the visuals the acting = good. 60% of the story line = can be compared to the hundreds of gma shows we've seen be4#anywy going off on a tangent...#c.) i can understand the slow pacing as them trying to establish the settings & the feel of that era so that the more intense tragedies-#later on would hit harder#but again. few scenes feel like they're dragging on for too long. some scenes & themes r too repetitive#need to see something differenttt something fresh something developing. something moving & feeling & connecting w/the audience#need to see more of the Philippines & the Filipino people in the 40s!! not the same afternoon prime drama shot in intramuros#need to see their messages staring into our souls instead of just being words uttered in tears#all this to say....flop era this week tbh sorry#EXCEPT FOR MAX COLLINS & HER LIKE. 3 MINS SCREEN TIME. MAX COLLINS I LOVE U QUEEN#rambles#pulang araw#putting this in the main tag i KNOW some ppl out there would feel the same & can explain this better lol i swear????
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i go to sleep thinking about dragon age and i wake up thinking about dragon age
#refreshing after a year of astarion brain tbh#still love him so much forever but bg3 has been ruling my life so it's nice to have something new to look forward to
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not exactly proship but do kinda align with them and unfollowing you now (you didn't do anything wrong really, just decided I'd follow your dni but kept forgetting to do it). Preemptively sending this ask in hopes you don't get too much shit for this and everyone leaves you alone. Just wishing you to have a good time and you do good work appreciating Papyrus. Alright bye👋
god i'll admit this notification gave me a Bit Of A Jolt but tysm for being respectful!! in full honesty i really don't identify with either "side" (it's all so so stupid) but a lot of the negative encounters i've had with people on this blog in particular have been veeerrryyy heavily skewed to one end, and the fact that the large majority of those encounters were as a young teen being insulted & lectured by full grown adults has soured my opinion more & more as i've grown & been able to look at it from a newer perspective. which is all to say i guess i might be a Tad too preemptively defensive about it nowadays, lmao
anyway, thanks again! i wish you a good time as well 🫡
#trousled rambles#one day i'll figure out how to type a sentence without turning it into its own paragraph 😔 but i have so much to SAY#but yeah tbh a lot of my time since coming to college & becoming more of a Real Grownup has been looking back at how some ppl would talk-#-to me as a very-online very-open-about-my-age kid and being like. yeah those people were fucking insane#they would be like “youre just a CHILD you dont know ANYTHING” and i mean. yeah??? why are you so mad about this#so i'm very glad to be done with it lol. and it's quite refreshing to get an anon that isn't just a rehash 😌
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catching up on slmccl's qsmp shit is so fun bc like. you can tell that he actually enjoys this server.
#stfulee.txt#slimecicle#probably not the best idea to talk in tags but#its v refreshing to see him actually enjoy being in a server even if he's still not the most active#afaik he's been in 5 servers and he's only been ACTIVE active in 2 of them#**6 servers i am dumb. anw.#< 2 being smpl and qsmp#d smp he rlly only came on to fuck around a couple times and then after that he only came on to do lore for q#epicsmp immediately died off bc (as fun as it was for a bit) it was obv just a ploy to try and capitalize off the minecraft hype of d smp#theres technically smp earth but tbh it occupies the same space in my brain that smpl does.#and osmp was already kinda inactive as is so like. didnt expect much from that.#maybe this is parasocial idk
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this is so funny because "i can always kill myself" has been my motto for 15 years and like i planned it out meticulously. and now i know that i cant kill myself. call it cowardice call in anything but like now I'm pretty sure that i cant actually for real kill myself because at this point i thought it out and planned it all like every last detail is very real to me and i simply know that i cant do it. might make a killer book one day if I'm being honest.
#hilarious tbh. like my view on life literally changed over night because i realized i was too chicken shit#and i couldnt do it to my mum and my siblings#like i realized i just didnt have it in me#truly like i feel like a loser because of it but that's the truth so now I'm in my not killing myself era#very refreshing after FIFTEEN YEARS#suicide tw or whatever but like y'all have been following me for ages you know what you're getting yourself into
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thank you for bearing with my purgatory posting and i'm also glad to see i'm not the only one who still has this fungus eating away at my brain matter. seeing other purgatory posting in the tag makes me feel better lmfao.
i'm not done btw, posting will (probably) continue as i revisit vods. wanted to extend a thanks in the interim, since i know how contentious the event was in the moment. i kinda thought the general consensus was most people hated thinking about it, but there's been a weird amount of engagement and yknow other people talking. makes me happy to know i'm not alone here!
#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#shut up vic#block game brainrot#it also provides me the opportunity to get a new perspective on some moments as well#like watching the jaiden spawnkilling thing the first time i missed some nuance in bbh's tone when he offered to walk her to her body#rewatching i heard them :D#i'll probably rewatch his conversation with slime from the same day at some point to refresh my perspective on that#but i think i'll wait on that; that convo makes me super biased lmfao#i'm aware of my biases at least :D and dw i won't bring old discourse back#tbh i never rly posted discourse much to begin with? just that one list and analysis of time stamps LMFAO#but yea i won't be bringing that back to the tag even if it's back in my brain#i PINKY SWEAR; i'm not one to start fights on posts or blogs that aren't mine#i block and then if i REALLY have something to say i shittalk them into my bathroom mirror#bc i know neither of us are gonna snitch >:D#long tags#it's also nice to look at with the benefit of hindsight and reflection#bc i know everything that happened; i was there watching it live#bolas are unreliable narrators#i'll probably see about going through some of the other team's povs as well just to see#it's interesting is all! and i finally have the time to sink my teeth into it properly#since we aren't having to keep up with like six streams a day#it's been so long sinve this server took a proper breather i'm appreciating it for all it's worth#((yes i wish the circumstances were better but they aren't; we take what we can get lmao))#ok anyway love u byeeeeeeee purgatory posting will probably continue#i'll tag as appropriately as i can; lmk if there are further tags i should add#i prefer people don't block Me if they hate these; i'll make u a tag to block if u ask i promise <3
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i went to a con over the weekend and bought a bunch of stuff from a rock shop. love going to cons in this area bc it's like 25% fandom junk (and i dont rlly watch anime), 50% arts and crafts, and another 25% JUST for funko pops hdhfhd
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already showed you Apple :]
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also got this lil tree
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some mushrooms to go with my bigger mushroom that i got at a different convention from different people jdgfkh
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and... ROCK PIG !! he is wonderful and also very heavy
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also bag update! got the heart pin at the con, everything else has just been added/moved/etc overtime lol. need to space it out better but im tired of stabbing myself so it's fine for now
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also ark got me a beetle :D
#that is all i got at the con btw 😭#was hoping i'd see some splatoon stuff but this was the smallest con they've had yet#next con should be a bit more interesting#but i greatly enjoyed the rocks#i know ppl are wary of rock decorations like this bc they might be fake but#tbh i just like the way the look so i dont rlly care lmao#if my rock pig is actually made of Unknown Material that's okay 👍#the heart pin is the only one i didnt pick up at the rock booth#subtlest aro pin ever 👍👍👍 IM SO MAD THEY HAD A REALLY NICE RAINBOW PIN#BUT NO IM 23 AND STILL FORCED TO BE IN A GLASS CLOSET JHDKFJK#mom i know we both know can we just get it over with already 😭#also got to meet some exiled queer family down there and catch up talking YAYYYY their youngest added us on discord jdhdhk#it was so fucking refreshing. i thought the only other one in my family died... had no idea that was why we didnt talk to them anymore#anyways that's how my life has been sorry for the continued absence tjere's a lot hapwning rn 👍#and by a lot i mean nothing but i stay exhausted hdhfkj it's just been. [static] ya know#chat
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I’m glad your date was good😊 my week was ok, kinda busy but I made it through :)
-🧎
aww thank you 💕 I'm proud of you <3 you will be good for me and get some rest this week?
#love letters only#💌 asks#asks#🧎anon#Going to domme you into self care >:)#Thank you for asking about my date <3#We are in the process of scheduling a second date!! Have to coordinate >:)#She's worried bc she's older than me which is a green flag#she was v careful which was like refreshing tbh like when I went back to hers she texted me her addy and told me to send it to my friends#Which I would have done either way dw but it was nice to idk have someone look out for me#So I am trying to toe the line between coming off like ~oh I'm mature for my age~ which is obvi problematic and not how brains work#But also being v realistic that in the past couple years I have been through A Lot for someone in their early 20s
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