#and it's about to get deleted tomorrow
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remind me
pairing: cake rating: mature words: 2,500 cw: alcohol/drinking
Luke: HOOD Luke: SLERP Calum: what the hell? Luke: WANNA SLERP U Sighing, Calum lets his phone drop unceremoniously onto the bed next to him. Luke’s drunk. And while, in theory, Calum loves drunk Luke, he doesn’t love when Luke is drunk without him.
#this has been deleted from my ao3 drafts twice for sitting too long#and it's about to get deleted tomorrow#so here it is i guess#idk just a little thing#just vibes u know how it goes#cake fic#5sos fic#this is a thing i did
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Reminiscing about Little Witch Academia.
#personal#delete later#maybe i'll talk about it tomorrow but it's a really cool anime and i'm forever shocked that it was made by trigger#a full cast of teenage girls and absolutely zero fanservice or sexualizing! what a concept!#also i was looking at designs for the bg student characters because they designed a whole student body to fill the school and gave them#names and nationalities and personalities and. there's a middle eastern student who wears a hijab/niqab! how cool is that!!#i don't think i've ever seen rep like that in a mainstream anime and speaks to how they genuinely gave a shit about diversity#you read about all these bg character's details and realize how much they cared about this anime's world#there are these twin from india who are both very protective of their smaller roommate and will get into fights about taking care of her#none of them have lines in the anime#there is a fat side character who is sweet and unapologetically just likes to eat and everyone is friends with her#there is a canonically butch character and an entire episode about her crossdressing as a man
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Never underestimate the power of a fic, there's only one and still made me like this rare pair
I'm preparing something so I haven't got time to draw but here's this in the meantime so the worms in my brain leave me alone another day
My OP Fanart Masterlist here
#maybe the most rare pair I have liked#eustass kid x usopp#kid x usopp#it's hard finding it at first but they could have get along#see my vision: rambling about mechanics#I'm tired so if this cringe myself tomorrow probably will delete later#for now sleep#usopp#god usopp#usopp fanart#eustass kid#op fanart#one piece
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Dark contend ahead! TW: manipulative!reader, mindfucked!sae itoshi
Sae Itoshi poor boy that doesn't know anything outside football. Maybe if he pulled his head out of his ass sooner he would have noticed how you played with his pretty little head. But there is no way the icy prince Sae wouldn't notice something like that, such a good player must be clever too. So when you told him countless lies about people next to him "They all want your talent and fame Sae-chan~ They can't wait to stab your back, your little bro included. In this world we are the only people of value" it didn't cross his mind that you were playing with his heart and mind, using him as your fave puppet. But how could he suspect you when all he could see were exactly the scenarios you always described him? Everyone is shit, every word is poison, every person he knows want his fame and success, they are all reject. You are the only light, you are the only person he can feel at ease with, you are the only person Sae desires. And know here he is, crying and biting into his pillow because his team lost and he didn't score any goal, but worse than everything, you won't love him anymore, because it is impossible for such a divine creature to stay with a loser like him "Sae~ have you heard about this Michael? He play in Germany, journalists say that he's gonna be the best player ever!" and Sae see all the likes you give at his photos and now you even have his number! You can't leave him, you are his safe place, he MUST be the best or he won't be able to have you anymore, hold you, taste you. Sae is hallucinating, he can hear your voice, your fingers on him, your taste and it takes very little to start humping the pillow, now placed between his legs. He starts to imagine what you would say to him, in such a miserable state. Nothing, you would say nothing, just step on his chest and spit on his mouth; it would taste heavenly. Just like that Sae cum in his pants, snotty nose and eyelashes soiled with tears. Truly miserable. "Sae-chan~ you really can't do anything without me anymore mh?" He can't.
#bllk imagines#blue lock imagines#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#bllk smut#blue lock smut#tw: manipulation#tw: mind manipulation#sae itoshi#sae itoshi x reader#a brain fart I had when I read the trivia where he said his weak point is knowing little about everything outside football#add this to my hate for him and tadaaa~#you can also see how bad I am at writing scenarios#well to say the truth I am bad in general at writing LOL#these kind of post usually get 5 likes#so I don't think I'll get more with my poor skills#so if I get more...I don't know I'll be more happy maybe lol#pretty sure I'll delete everything tomorrow#I also noticed there is very little content for a dark!reader glad I added something so nasty ahah
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if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.
#saying goodbye to my friend murphy tomorrow#i'll be okay. it's the right decision and i'll get through.#life is just going to be really hard and sad for a while#i don't want to talk about it in any detail but i feel like i have to say it out loud#and i have this paranoid anxiety thought that's like if I don't tell people he's gone they will ask about him#snd I won't be able to handle that for a little while#I don't need acknowledgment or sympathy. I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need cheer-up fodder#so no need to send me anything or talk to me about it really i promise#just if you can take a second to love and appreciate the animals in your life. that would be really nice.#you don't have to tell me about it it would just be nice to feel there's love out there#writing this all out is making me feel so stupid. i've deleted and rewritten several times#but i gotta because it would be a lot worse if i was worrying about not talking about it#so yeah. no need for likes or comments or dms or asks or anything. just give someone some love for me ok?#murphy is the senior yellow lab you may have seen me post pics of sometimes. he's my parents' dog but he's my buddy.#and he's gotten me through a lot. like a lot a lot#and i'm going to miss the hell out of him#and i'm so worried about my parents. they're going to have a much worse time than me.#and they don't need anything else on their plates right now#it's just everything you know?#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other#so yeah. if you could give your pet a hug or a treat or a scratch or take them on their favorite walk. that would be awesome#this was good actually typing all this nonsense out helped a little. still don't want to talk about it but at least i have ideas for#the 'leave me the fuck alone' email i'm going to send everyone tomorrow at work
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My hot take is that marcanne has as much potential for toxic yuri as any other calamity trio ship and it's not nearly as soft and fluffy as one may think
#amphibia#marcanne#anne boonchuy#marcy wu#in one hand: marcy kidnapped her. by giving her AS A BIRTHDAY GIFT something that was meant to benefit HER#(yes she didn't know it would work but the point is that she thought about herself first. even though it was her best friend's birthday)#she never wanted to come back. she wanted to keep her with her forever. she was happiest when they were together#most importantly she saw what she did as a good thing. as something good that she gave to her#yet still lied to her. After what happened with Sasha#she still lied to her. became another person to betray Anne#then she fucking died for her 😭😭😭#on the other hand. you have anne#she looked after her. she certainly loved her. but she didn't care much about the things that were important to marcy#nor did she care about her feelings or needs. she and sasha third-wheeled her for years#even though marcy came first#she could only really see her once sasha was gone#you have to remove her from the equation for both of them to flourish and connect#because the shadow of sasha's abuse oppressed them for so long. anne and marcy reuniting in S2 looked a lot like two people escaping#abuse together. healing together. coming into their own. becoming better people. they get to know themselves and each other much more deeply#now that they're free. only - they aren't free. they're constantly thinking about sasha. when sasha comes back they welcome her#they reproduced the toxic patterns she left of them#though i'll recognize that in anne's case she healed a lot more from sasha's toxicity than marcy#and you can see that in how her way of relation to marcy is a lot healthier than marcy's way of relating to anne#anne is now truly and genuinely connecting to her friend. marcy is still lying to her#pushing down her feelings. ignoring her own needs. pretending everything is okay. lying lying lying#anne was the only one who could escape but marcy couldn't quite move on yet. she couldn't be free#hope this makes sense i'm writing it at 4am i'll delete tomorrow if i realize it sounds dumb
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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I don't like this, but maybe someone else might.
trying to practice anatomy and shading/lighting, because I'm struggling-
It's freaking 2 am maybe I'll like it more in the morning
#I'm tired#idk how to shade#anyone have any tips?#or a good yt tutorial?#I might go back and clean this up tomorrow or smth but I'm on the brink of d e a t h rn so probably not#also idk their duo name#rottmnt leo#rottmnt mikey#hugs#art#my art#rottmnt#digital art#I still don't know how tags work#depending on how I feel about this in the morning#I might delete this#we'll see#They don't get eyes#because I didn't want to draw them#:D#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Sorry for this, but people have been really fucking annoying on the comments of my posts lately that I'm really really considering privating the blog for some days or something bruh💀
#like cmon now the people on my instagram and my twitter have been behaving better that tumblr thats wild#like okay ppl aren't comenting anything like horrible but it's so stupid like-#logging into tumblr truly is something#i limited comments on the blog for only ppl that follow me for a while so if tomorrow i get anything stupid im just packing up#just for a couple of days dw#anyways sorry for venting or ranting idk what this is#but like!!! i always hear people say that tumblr is the most chill social media site and like thats not true for me bruh#well to be fair i did have some really really chill months for a while this year but i guess that's over now with october idk#anyways maybe i will post art later who knows#not art#delete later#maybe#also this is not about the people that say nice things on my posts don't worry guys this is not about them#sorry if someone thought that
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^^ might be getting a job at a cute little ice cream shop on the beach in my town GRAGGHHH. i have a trial shift tomorrow i hope i dont cock it up
#ok i just need to rant in tags for a second.#i HATE HATE HATE applying for jobs at big companies#fucking no one wants to hire me cuz i don’t have experience cuz i wanted to focus on my schoolwork#but how do i get the experience huh. how am i supposed to. get a job.#if i need experience. but i need a job to get the experience#so i came to this shop and its like a family run thing#which in some ways is better it’s a lot more personal and im not#on the mcdonald’s front lines or something#but the husband of the guy who runs this place#started going on about the “woke generation#IN MY JOB INTERVIEW.#something about how the woke generation won’t do things if it’s not in their job title#????????????????and i looked at his twitter and he’s anti-immigrant as fuck#so now im just stuck between big bad corporation and racist andy#FUUUUCKS SAKE#anyway idgaf about him that much cuz his wife is nice#let’s hope i do well tomorrow#rambles#doodles#delete later
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mizuki‘s new in-game costume having a blindfold is convenient, in a way, because even when things will all be sorted out and fine in the end their 3d model wearing the costume will still look dead and distant and serve as a reminder of this event. Unable to see their eyes, it‘s harder to judge how honest their smile is.?
I know them having a blindfold also means like symbolises them running away (‘turning a blind eye’) n stuff but I don’t want to get into that also i think it’s kinda obvious. Just wanted to point the aforementioned thing out
#mizu5#mizuki akiyama#pjsk#did i lie in my last post? i dont even know what im talking about#might delete tomorrow if it doesnt make sense#please tell me you get this#my brain is scattered im sorry im sorry#rewriting if im better tmrw
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tarpit site.
#personal#delete later#for context a tweet i made in the middle of the night blew the fuck up and brought the attention of anime fans who've been#harassing and hassling me about my big factual blunder for an entire day straight#“ok i'll apologize” “bro it's not that serious.”#“you're right it's not that serious“ ”why won't you just admit that you're wrong and apologize!“#i'm not going crazy right. i feel like i'm getting manipulated into thinking i must've been wrong#it's crazy how twitter hate will trick you into believing saying something someone else disagrees with is a moral failing#sorry i haven't seen frieren i guess but what's it to you. i wasn't making a claim or statement#also because nobody has gotten this in the original post i wasn't talking about the quality of animation i'm talking about solid drawing#which is a very specific principle of animation. dandandan has really good solid drawing wherein all the characters are animated#with realistic and proportional 3d depth. newsflash but trigger doesn't prioritize solid drawing in their animation and that's fine#it's an aesthetic choice and has ties to production limits. none of this is a big deal. this is all so stupid lol#i've dealt with worse and more annoying weebs though it's fine i'll put on my clown nose twitter needs their stupid guy for the day#oh btw at the end of the day this doesn't matter. it'll be over by tomorrow. all that's happening is petty angry emotions.#so please don't involve yourself by jumping into the argument and prolonging this shit#i'm about to go on a date with tulli after being apart for a month this is the furtherest thing from my mind rn
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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something
#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch#too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun#no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point#trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this#WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time#my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me#my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job#i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time#i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again#and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed#delete later#i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want#ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you#i miss that i want that back#whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go
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anyway I did mention it in that other post earlier so here's the site I made for my ocs I made it to keep their profiles and such and to save space when sending comm requests and all that. I tried to make it simple and easy to navigate but it's still very much a work in progress and missing a lot of stuff for people, plus there's even stuff I'm still not sure how I wanna do, like whether to have the charas' art gallery on a page or linking to the drive like it currently is But I'm always open to feedback so check it out if you want 👍
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hm. you know... since i no longer hate my art... i Could transfer this blog to my main. i could shimmy right over there! it would make many things easier!
#i would have to approach the url change Delicately...#if i do this! i wouldn't delete this side blog but.#it no longer feels like a side blog! Art no longer feels like a side blog! i no longer feel like one!!!#it wouldn't be a big change#i'd sidestep over and simply say here 'hi! i moved Over There! its exactly the same except its Over There!'#and i would no longer have 6 blog tabs to wrangle...#absolutely unprompted#i might!! i might.#i have tomorrow off so perhaps... i will run it past some Trusted Individuals to get some input on the matter....#im tired of worrying 'do they know its me??? do they think im just some rando??? Well Fuck.'#and then i cant be like 'haha its actually me carrioncarnival' bc thats. Weird i feel#fuck. carnivalcarrion. AGH. ITS MEANT TO BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND ILL DIE MAD ABOUT THIS#wait perhaps. Perhaps.#hm.... we'll see!
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it has been an evening of highs and lows, ladies and gentlemen.
#i made progress on some of my spotify playlists! i feel accomplished.#i *did* make a hence-deleted moodboard that i quite liked.#my am*zon package came which delivered beloved dopamines#and i looked a little more into the university i want to apply to#however this whole moodboard tag and link nonsense has exhausted me beyond all measure and deprived me of any hope or happiness#THAT SOUNDS DRAMATIC I KNOWW.#but truly. how tf am i supposed to make that work.#and researching universities is draining! nerve wracking! confusing!#i know i def want to apply to [redacted] but i am so scared and feel so unprepared.#and it is late. much later than i would like it to be; and i feel i have so many things more still to do#i have made a list for tomorrow and i will strive to get it all done before work.#also in warring with t*mblr today i found a way to mass replace tags on posts. and i know there are guides out there about finding posts#with no tags etc#i would like to further reorganize the posts i have on my blogs#but that is a big endeavor and will be shelved until i get my immediate crises figured out#lindsay.text
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