#and it's a...would be a 20min walk from my house if i could walk that far. 😭 well 10ish min bus ride isnt bad

[gay-fordeath]

.

[desperatepleasures]

confirmed for fuck no I'm not going to work tomorrow 👍

[hedgehog-moss]

Here are 7 little facts about my donkey and how his summer is going :)

1. I received an anon the other day asking if Pirou was still a working donkey who carries my firewood for me, and the answer is yes. I've been cutting some branches from the big cherry tree that fell down the other day, and Pirlouit has been valiantly carrying them to the woodshed—fun fact, for this activity he likes to wear his ears like this:

Probably because this T position is reminiscent of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, which is how Pirlouit perceives himself as he carries heavy logs for me. He's willing, but his martyrdom should be acknowledged.

Here's Poldine acknowledging it with a nose kiss, because Poldine.

I stopped so they could have their little chat.

2. Pirou has been chatting with a lot of new friends lately—we met these horses on a walk and he was so happy to stop and touch noses with them while making equid noises. Llamas are good with the nose-touching but their llama noises are just less interesting to Pirlouit. He had such interested ears here! "Finally a serious grown-up conversation"

We also met this goose during the same walk and Pirlouit was a lot less eager to go say hi to her. The goose was yelling threats at us and we prudently stayed away, and Pirou was clearly thinking "this bird is doing a better job at protecting her home from intruders than Pandolf ever could" (it's true, Pan assumes intruders are friends until proven otherwise)

3. You'll notice that there are houses in this pic! Our walks got longer and longer until one day we went all the way to the village (it took 1 hour 20min at Pirlouit's leisurely pace). I was so proud of him. I've been trying to convince my friends to go to the village on donkeyback (this requires two people, because you can ride Pirlouit but you can't tell him where to go unless there's someone holding his rope and leading the way)—my friends were reluctant because they still sort of perceive Pirou as the feral animal terrified of everything that he was when I got him. They know he's made a lot of progress but going to town on donkeyback still seemed foolhardy.

So we've been riding Pirlouit in the woods, in familiar environments, and we also went to town with him but without riding him. He was amazingly calm and brave! There's a river that cuts the village in two and the first time we went, we stopped before the bridge, since it's pretty narrow and cars would have to drive very close to Pirlouit, we didn't want to risk it. We just went to say hi to the librarian who lives on the right side of the river, but since Pirlouit was very serene, we did cross the bridge the second time.

He did not care at all about cars driving very close to him (he had one familiar human on either side of him and the drivers were very considerate and went slowly), which emboldened us to stop for a drink on the terrace of the coffeeshop on main street (< also a narrow street with cars driving by quite close to Pirlouit). There was just no problem at all, Pirou let total strangers rub his forehead and was more interested in iced tea than main street traffic.

It was a hot day and we gave him all the ice cubes from our drinks and he chewed them enthusiastically.

4. We made a stop at the pharmacy on our way home because we had another 1 hour 20min walk ahead and I had a blister, and the pharmacist noticed my donkey parked outside his shop and in a determined tone he said, "I want to try something." He took one of the donkey milk soaps from the overpriced-Provence-soaps-for-tourists display and opened the door and offered it for Pirlouit to sniff.

... I'm not sure what he was expecting—for my donkey to go "ohhh this smells like Mother's milk and aloe vera 🥺"—but unfortunately nothing happened.

(4. bis—Sorry, this 4th fact was anticlimactic.)

5. Pirlouit is now the proud owner of a surcingle. Not for equestrian vaulting and not for his log-carrying job because I don't know if it would be solid enough for the weight of a bag full of logs, but I'd like to tie bags or baskets to it to take Pirlouit grocery shopping, now that I know he's okay with going to town :) He even seems to enjoy the adventure, and the attention he gets from children.

And actually I shouldn't write off equestrian vaulting because Pirou is also remarkably chill with weird things happening on his back. I used to be very careful to climb on his back in a quick & fluid way so he wouldn't spook (because he used to! a butterfly flapping its wings in Brazil used to spook him!) but now that my friends are riding him I can confirm we've reached a point where you can climb on Pirlouit's back in any way you want and he'll just be like "...... sure"

6. I almost forgot to mention that Pirou turned 15 last month, according to his ID papers :) Donkeys have a longer life expectancy than horses, they can live 30-40 years on average so he's still a young lad really. Happy 15th birthday Pirlouit :)

7. I wanted to conclude with a nice aesthetic pic of Pirou's shadow on the road during all those walks, like I did with Poldine, but unfortunately donkey shadows do not have the chic je-ne-sais-quoi of llama shadows. Pirlouit looks like a hammerhead shark wearing a tiny fez and that's not his fault.

[sam-the-pancake]

I wasn't gonna make a post about this anymore because it resolved, but I still want to talk about it. My writing style is long and rambly so TL;DR at the bottom.

Yesterday was the first day of the college course I'm taking (I'm getting my master's in Special Education if anyone's interested). It's a class from 5pm until 8pm, and most days it's after a full day of work for me, so I've elected to mainly use my wheelchair. But since I'm ambulatory I decided to bring my cane in case I needed the bathroom or something so I don't have to struggle with the doors. This classroom of course didn't have a desk without a chair attached so as we sat in a circle I put my bag on the desk behind me and rested my cane against it.

Anyone who uses a cane knows that they fall over. A lot. I kept telling both the professor and the students next to me to please just leave it on the floor when it falls over but of course they didn't listen. They had to "help" the poor cripple. Well class ends and I grab my bag and head home. When I get to my house I realize that I don't have my cane with me to help me down the stairs to my apartment. It wasn't with my bag when I left class so I forgot it. I tell my partner that I'm going back to campus to get the cane I forgot. This is my only cane. I use it any time I leave the house. Even if I'm planning on using my wheelchair when I get somewhere I like to have the cane in the car.

In the 20min it took me to drive home and back the cane is gone. I look all over the first floor of the building without an aid since I expected it to be quick. I sit down and email the professor and campus lost and found before making my way back to the car.

AN HOUR LATER, an hour and a half after the class has ended, I get an response email from the professor and a girl from the class. The girl saw that I forgot it (I still don't know where it had been) and took it hoping to see me before I left. She probably felt like she was doing her good deed for the day. Except I have a medical exception letting me park in the teacher parking lot right outside the building, and she probably brought it to the student parking across campus in the other direction. And then when she didn't find me she didn't reach out!

If she had wanted to be helpful she should have stayed in the classroom with it, or gone back to class when she couldn't find me, and sent me an email. I know that to ableds it's just a stick, but a month ago that was my only mobility aid. I have not left the house without it for 2 years. I'm not leaving the house until I get it back. I'm in pain today because I walked around for 10min without it. She waited for me to reach out about it to let me know she had my mobility aid. And I know she waited because she told the professor she had it. If she had wanted my email she could have asked the professor for it or for my full name to look it up in the directory.

In her email she said "I was really worried someone would take it." Guess what! YOU took it! Again, I understand that it wasn't her intention, but it's the reality of what happened. She removed it from the room and didn't reach out to tell me where it was (neither did the Prof!).

Non-mobility aid users don't touch our aids! Don't move our aids! DONT FUCKING TAKE THEM HOME WITH YOU! This wouldn't have been a problem if during class people would have respected me and left it on the floor with my stuff like I said to.

TL;DR: My cane was falling over in class and the people kept touching it and eventually must have moved it. This caused me to forget it when I left in my wheelchair. Some girl from class took it home with her "so no one would take it" so it wasn't there when I returned. She didn't reach out to me so I didn't know where it was. Prof let her know I emailed asking about it. She's bringing it back to me today, but I can't comfortably leave the house until I get it back because I'm in pain from looking for it without an aid. ABLEDS RESPECT MOBILITY AID USERS BOUNDARIES AND DONT MOVE OUR AIDS OR TAKE THEM FUCKING HOME CHALLENGE

[oscpaistry]

| walking in on Kylian touching himself |

! Warning : moaning, groaning, filthy !

It was a busy day for you meanwhile Kylian was at home probably watching tv or sleeping. It was 4:40 PM and just got off work. You needed to go get groceries. You went to the shops and got everything. You texted Kylian if he needed something but he didnt answer as usual. Finally back in your car you put some music on and sing your lungs out. After a long day of doing everything without a break was exhausting. The only thing you wanted to do was lay next to Kylian and sleep. You drive up your driveway and park your car. You sit in your car enjoying the silence for a few minutes. You get out of your car and get your groceries from the trunk. Bags in one hand and keys in the other hand. Struggling to open the door. You get in your house, put your groceries down and exhale deeply. First you take off your shoes, then get some water and chug it down.

Half way of chugging your glass of water down you hear Kylian making noise. You choke on your water hearing him. It were sounds of... Pleasure? Hearing him moan made your heart drop to your stomach. Your feet were ice cold. Thoughts flooded through your mind thinking he was bored of you and was fucking some other chick. You put your glass of water down and slowly went up to see what he was doing. You go to the room were the moans and groans escaped from. The guestroom. Fuck. You stand infront of the door and carefully opening the door to see who hes fucking. What? Your eyes widened and your mouth feel open seeing Kylian doing that you would never expect to walk into. He was touching himself.

Fully naked, legs spread wide open, head rested against the headboard, eyes screwed closed, moans, groans and curse words escaping his mouth, one hand on his shaft and the other gripping the sheets beneath him. "Oh Y/n please" you hear him moan. That hole in your stomach transformed into a knot and feeling yourself getting turned on how hes close and moaning your name. You feel that known warm feeling between your legs. You watch in awe how hes almost cuming. His hand going faster then before. With one flick in the wrist he stops and strokes slowly. Toes curled. Again he goes fast. You see his fist going pale. Him clenching his other fist around his shaft trying to come. "Mhh pleaseee" you hear him whine. Making yourself feel unbearably good. You had a huge kink when he moaned or groaned. Then something snapped in him and went as fast as he could. Breathing fast, sweating, cursing and bucking his hips into his hand. Then white ropes of come spilled all over his beautiful abs. He moans your name one more time and relaxes. His cock twitching on his stomach. Theres still come coming out. He trys to get his breathing under control.

"That was amazing to see Kylian." You say while opening the door more. Standing against the door frame. Arms crossed and a grin in your face.

Kylian's head shoots up and sees you grinning at him. "Depuis combien de temps êtes-vous là à me regarder me toucher?" (How long have you been here watching me touch myself?)

"15 minutes, mon beau garçon." (my pretty boy) You say while walking in the room and sitting next to him.

He smiles at you.

You see his face getting a bit red from embarrassment.

You cup his face and kiss him. You get onto his lap.

"let me show you something!" You grind on him. Hes already a moaning mess.

I made this in 20min😍 My tiktok is @virgilcentral

[juanarc-thethird]

The Crown is Never Wrong (Father's Day)

Papa Arc: *Sighs* What a long day

Jaune's father says when he returns from a busy day at work. He walks into the living room and sees a crown on the coffee table.

Papa Arc: What is this? A crown?

He takes the crown, looks at it carefully and puts it on.

Vision:

Jaune and her dad are driving through the woods towards a camping area.

Grandpa Arc: Thanks for taking me camping, son.

Jaune: No problem dad.

Grandpa Arc: I just wish my grandkids would have come too.

Jaune: I know.

They keep driving until they come to a huge cabin. So big that the whole Arc family could fit.

Grandpa Arc: Son, this is not the campsite.

Jaune: Just follow me.

Jaune gets out of the car and goes to the entrance of the cabin. Grandpa Arc sits in there for a while, trying to figure out what his son is doing, until he loses sight of him as he enters the house.

Grandpa Arc: My Oum, it's always something with this boy.

Grandpa Arc gets out of the car, and walks to the cabin. Upon reaching the door, he slowly opens it and…

Grandpa Arc: Hello?

Everyone: Happy Father's Day Grandpa!

Grandpa Arc: *Surprise* Holy shit!

Dragonslayer Kid: *Chuckles* Grandpa said a bad word.

Penny's Kid: Grandpa you must put a dollar in the swear jar

Nora's Kids: "Why do you say bad words grandpa, shit." "Yes grandpa, what the fuck?" "I wanna say fuck too!" "FUCK!"

Arcfall Kid: SHUT UP YOU IDIOTS!

Topaz kid: Damn, take it easy

Whiteknight Kid's: *laughing hard*

Grandpa Arc: *Chuckles* Those kids never change.

Winter's Kid: "Grandpa why don't you sit down" "Yes, sit!"

Grandpa Arc: Oh thank you.

He follows the two children and sits in a very comfortable chair.

ArcWitch Kid: Do you want something to drink, grandfather? Water, iced tea?

Grandpa Arc: Iced tea please.

Belladonna Kid's: *Holding an Iced tea* "Here it is, grandpa!"

Grandpa Arc: Thank you.

Lancaster Kid's: "Grandpa, can you tell us a story?" "Please"

Jessica's kid: "Me too!"

Vixen Kid's: "We also have food, grandpa!" "We made turkey sandwiches!"

May's kid: I bring you a plate!

Grandpa Arc: Thank you. *To his son* So this was your plan?

Jaune: I also planned for Saphron to be here but she's stuck in traffic. She will be here in about 20min. So just enjoy.

Grandpa Arc: Thank you son.

Jaune: No problem dad.

Vision ended.

Papa Arc: Honey, where's Jaune?! I need to talk to him man to man! The Arc bloodline will be eternal!

[cor-lapis-candy]

I wanna hit you all with more shady scumbag landlord Diluc, maybe he owns multiple bars across town and has a couple employee lodgings for like uni students or trade college students to live in while they study and work for him.

You're one of those students, working every few days at one of his bars/wine tasting joints, dressed in the black and white uniform most evenings and not once have you seen your top boss or landlord, not even on inspection or maintenance requests. The red head is a mystery to you, hell you only know he is a red head due to a picture in your bar proclaiming who he was, if not for that you would never have known what he looked like.

And yet as of late your neighbours, some rowdy boys or something, had begun moving out, the floor out were on becoming more and more silent, soon it was you and some elderly couple that helped keep the building up to scratch and that was it, so when you heard clamoring noises and banging or renovations being done what could you have thought but someone new moving in.

You were correct but it was less someone new and more your landlord and boss taking over most of the floor, the two apartments beside you had become one sprawling condo, housing none other than Diluc Ragnvindr, the red headed mystery and now your neighbour.

Correction, now your living next door nightmare.

The smallest of noises after 9pm had him knocking, no banging on your door to tell you to keep it down, you set off the fire alarm and he had simply unlocked your door and walked in, turning the device off and scolding you for making him waste his time. But the real hassle began when you fell behind on rent, between your classes and the fewer shifts you had been given you had been like a hundred and sixty under but nonetheless you had fallen behind.

With your boss and landlord next door it was inevitable when you sent the rent you had that he would be there, at your door right after he received a note that it was under, but not twenty minutes after you had sent the transfer he was unlocking your door, waltzing in and sprawling himself across your sofa.

"Any particular reason for the rent being short? Or are we just not cut out for adult life anymore?"

Walking into him being a brute with his blunt demeanor was not at the top of your Thursday evenings plans, the top was in fact the shower and cry but exception must be made and today's seemed to be hearing out your landlord and he wholeheartedly pushed through any formalities and barrels straight into some very interesting and scummy territory.

"You know if the bar isn't good enough my brother has a much better establishment for you, that mouth of yours could make rent in a single night if you acted right..."

You had met his brother or well ex-brother before, he had been drinking at your section of the bar and been very vocal about shit clients and them not paying their dues on commissions, you had thought he was a salesman or broker but now you knew better.

Perhaps you would steer clear of him next time you saw him...

"...or maybe I should make you pay the remainder back in that fashion. He charges about that much for 20mins after all, so are we going to pay our rent in full here and now or are we having a shadow for the next few days? I would so love to watch how the staff of your particular bar actually work."

Now comes the stomach turning choice, debase yourself to pay rent and do... Something to or for your landlord or put all your struggling coworkers under the owners eye until you had paid back why you owed.

Sure your hands might shake and your eyes may be watering as you lower yourself before him, black shirt and white waistcoat wrinkled from your shift, knees heavy as you shuffle closer to him letting him take your limp wrists in his hands before being guided down to his belt, but at least you knew you wouldn't have this debt hanging over your coworkers...

For now, that is, there is always next month's rent to be paid...

[thesugarhole]

being serious day 1 blog:

was going to spend the day at the library to better simulate a focus environment but my mom had some exams to do that required general anesthesia and had to have someone pick her up after, so i stayed home to both take her and pick her up

* i have to get re-used to driving even though i dont have a car. rookie mistakes

headache started brewing

spent all morning and most of the afternoon cleaning the house with her

while she was there i came back home and finally analyzed/ opened up my portefolio to update it. turns out it needs less work than i expected it to. reworked the cover & back bc i dont want my face in there, also removed some projects i dont think are relevant to the type of design i wanna do (theyre on behance regardless)

this was roughly 2-3 hours of work though and my headache got worse. saw that it was close to the time to pick up my mom so i went to rest my head for a bit

pick up mom, back home. go get something to eat with her bc she hungry due to having to clean her guts for it = chicken soup, jello and pills for like 4 days

has an inflamed stomach and a mass inbetween stomach and. i forgot the name. they took part of it for a hospital biopsy that can analyze it more thorough. awaiting results

here writing this. 7pm. head still hurty

tldr: first day got very little done in terms of job hunting, but could be worse. could have done nothing at all. i need to check if the library isnt on different schedules due to labor day on wednesday, but the main plan is go there tomorrow all day and finish editing my portefolio, as well as translate my cv to english/update europass (<- havent needed it yet but who the fuck knows). i think its feasable.

im wondering if it would be worth it to charge my transport pass (30 euros) just to have a bus library<-> home. its not a long walk, 20mins/1,4km/0,6 miles?, but carrying my laptop in summer-like heat is a drag. ive eliminated as much weight as i can from my junk but just that plus a water bottle is enough to tire, can you believe it. or maybe im just kinda lazy.

[thegodmother007]

My New Neighbor

This is my first time really giving writing G/t content a try. The concept is that this is a newly integrated world where both Giants & Humans co-exist...or at least they try to as much as they can.

TRIGGER WARNING: This story will eventually contain violence, angst, threat of death, swearing, dark humor, adult themes like sex & drugs, racism, classism, sexism etc. Do not say you have not been warned

Chapter: Prologue - The City of Epherton  

My heart was in my throat as I watched…no felt them walk by the coffee shop I was ordering a chai latte in. I looked around to the other patrons in the coffee shop to see that no one else in line seemed to notice it as much as I did. I looked around the caf�� while I waited for my name to be called, to see how others might be reacting to the tremors but everyone was still preoccupied with their own drinks, the works on their laptops or even chatting with friends. It was like I imagined the tremors that emitted from the floor, but I know I hadn’t, not in this city. As my adrenaline levels lowered, I focused on keeping my breathing rhythmic & steady, trying to keep myself looking cool & collected, like I belonged here.

“CAIN!” Yelled the middle aged ginger woman sliding my chai latte across the counter to the pick-up area, spiking my blood pressure once more. However, looking at my drink made it a lot easier to calm down, as I had something else to focus on. I could immediately taste the warm cinnamon & cloves taking the first sip which got a relaxed, deep sigh from me; one I had been holding onto for the last hour. The train ride in was anxiety inducing as it was, but to actually be here, was a whole new experience. As I exited the coffee shop, I put my sunglasses on & pulled my beanie down, keeping my eyes straight forward in an attempt not to gawk at the enormous humanoid figures across the street. This is my first time visiting Epherton, so I did not want to make any trouble for myself by offending anyone. 

Walking down the street & to my appointment, I could not help but allow myself a glance or two at the giants that seemed to surround me & the other Humans who walked the sidewalk. When I did look up, I could feel my stomach drop into my shoes, watching these giants boldly exist in front of me, an embarrassing reaction to something it seems most humans here have become okay with. I could see people, no, giants, ignoring us who walk across the street, laughing and having lives like regular people. It was weird to watch them like I was some fly on the wall, but reminded myself very quickly not to be caught staring at them, per the suggestion of all my friends and family. For every 10-Humans, there was only 1 giant, so although we outnumbered them 10 to 1, it did not matter in my eyes. One giant could take down hundreds of Humans if they really wanted to, and many have. It is why this city is so special, because it allows for an integrated existence for both Humans & giants. It is the first of its kind to ever exist, “Epherton: A City of the Future” many called it, but I deemed it a place I would circumvent until I no longer could & today was the day I could no longer avoid it. 

So then, why am I here at all? Well, the housing market is garbage & I am a 21 yr old who can’t afford much. This town is full of young people, giant & Human alike, looking to plant roots & start lives of their own. Like so many others in this city, I am looking for affordable housing & I am weighing my options by exploring the Integration Housing Program that Epherton is offering. I am not unique in my reason for being here, from what I am observing, but I am unique in my attitude towards them. However, that is something I plan on keeping to myself for now. After about a 20min walk, I find myself at the Human entrance of the government sanctioned apartment building where I will be inquiring about the Integration Housing Program. I looked at the other side of the property, which was sectioned off with a 10ft concrete wall, but that hardly would stop any giant if they wanted to just step over it. I look to see giants coming & going on the other side of the property. There is a man holding the apartment door open for a giantess who has her hands full with a box of some sort, there is a gardener who is trimming some trees which are being used for décor & a giant man smoking on his balcony. It was pretty humdrum activity for beings who were easily towering at 60-85ft respectively. I shuttered a little bit before steeling my nerves once again, reminding myself to play it cool if I want a chance at this program. I opened the door to a fluorescent-lit office space with a wall lined with bronze lock & key mail boxes, a buzzing from the ventilation system & a shiny waxed floor I could almost see my reflection in. I approach the front desk with a false bravado & cheap smile “Hello, I am here for a 1:00pm apartment tour for Cain Wagner?” The front desk attendant, a portly, older man with a graying mustache and balding head sits up with a smile “Welcome to Hedge Heights, I will be your guide this afternoon!” 

||| Next

[crystalbaby12]

Here's a little story. Told Twitter but hey maybe someone could use it here.

Earlier in the week, I had to run out and do some errands. Which is nothing out of the ordinary. Left the house a bit later than I would have liked because I had to help set up an appointment. I want to say I left roughly 20mins late. Finally leave and I'm walking, enjoying the fresh air and the little bit of sun poking through the clouds.

I get on to the main stretch of sidewalk and as I walk I notice someone up ahead walking their dog. I move myself to the outer portion of the path near the road to allow this person to have the safe inner sidewalk but I notice she stops and tries to turn around. The dog doesn't let her. She then looks like she's going to try to cross the street, dog doesn't allow her. The dog is insistent that she interacts with me. When I reach them, we exchange pleasantries and I stoop down so her dog can smell me and receive a pet. She goes on to say how her dog didn't want to listen and wanted to see me.

She then proceeds to tell me how she wound up in the area. She was born and raised in New York and her daughter convinced her to move here. She told me how she was married for 40yrs and how they moved here. That he up and died on her...that she is now navigating life without him. She goes "Go figure he'd do that," she laughs a little, "No, he was a good man." Not gonna lie I was tempted to say, "Men. Am I right?!" But I didn't.

We laughed for a bit and she got serious. She touched my hand and said gently "Be careful who you marry." I respond with a yes ma'am! She told me she got lucky and that this world is crazy. She got to enjoy 40yrs with her husband, he was a gem. She was being a true girls girl, looking out.

After some time, we began to say goodbye and she continued down the path and I, off to my destination. But her words rattled in my head the rest of the day and days after. There was a reason I left the house late that day and believe the lord put me there to speak with this woman and give her comfort and companionship in this uncertain time. I'm sure her husband is looking down proud and probably whispering in that little dogs ear to help his momma interact. That dog was very adamant because after walked away willingly after we spoke.

Ok that is all. Just be nice to everyone. And if you have an interaction like mine, stop for a second and be in that moment. You never know how it will help that person and what you can learn from it.

[hellojuiceboxbaby]

I’ve just done such a stupid silly thing.

This morning when my sister went to the bus stop outside our house she called to say there was a sign up saying there would be diversions today so we shared a taxi to work/school instead.

So I just finished work and walked over to the bus stop. And there was this guy there smoking. And he looked my age, maybe younger. I kept looking at him because he was smoking and i haven’t smoked in weeks but he kept catching me looking at him. Then the bus came (and I DROPPED MY PHONE DOWN THE BUS MANS ROOM while trying to pay). I was sitting on the bus looking at the back of this same guys head. I could see his baccy peeping out his pocket and I’m pretty sure he could feel me staring and he turned an we made eye contact for a solid 3 seconds. I was so embarrassed I could feel my face getting so hot.

We get to the stop before my house (THE ONE I NEED TO GET OFF AT CUZ THE BUS ISNT STOPPING AT MY HOUSE) and the same guy gets up to leave and in my head I’m like why did I even wanna get off here?? If I do it’ll look like I’m stalking him. Lemme just wait for my stop so he doesn’t think I’m stalking him.

The bus didn’t stop for another 20mins and I had to walk home from a whole two estates over :[

[lookedafterchild]

Part One - A brief before and after being put on a Section 2 I struggled with many issues at the time, anxiety, depression, suicidal tendencies, and self-harm. I had been battling a battle in my head for over ten years, but things started to get too bad. now I could not hide these issues as well as I may have been before. Moreover, after the incident(s) at school, I was admitted to the hospital and blacklisted from taking my exams in the future. Can you imagine walking into your Psychiatrists office? After a massive string of events both at school and at home? Dr. Bertrand Nairac was giving me 5 minutes to make one of the hardest. And most confusing decisions of my life. "By the time I return to this room, you need to make your decision. Are you going to admit yourself on a volunteer basis or send the doctors and police to force you there? The Choice [caption id="attachment_13699" align="aligncenter" width="1024"] Sectioned under the mental health act aged 18. At Kent and Medway adolescence hospital, (woodland House) Staplehurst Kent (KMAH)The Complete story[/caption] As I sat in the therapist's room, it felt like an eternity. The walls seemed to close on me, and my heart was racing. What is a mental health hospital anyway? Is this some asylum where they lock up people who are crazy or something? The feeling of suffocation and confusion were the only thoughts going through my head. Dr. Bertrand Nairac Returned to the office. Moreover, I looked at myself and my foster carer Carol Thompson. "Well, you made up your mind," said Dr. Nairac. He advised once again that going as a volunteer patient was the best way to do this. Unless I wanted to make a big scene. I agreed and waited for days in my home until I received word from him with an available bed at a young adolescent Mental Health Hospital Woodlands house in staple Hurst My Fate Was Clear Three days went past, and it was hell. I knew it was just a matter of days until I am driving miles away. From my hometown, there are a few parts of those three days that stick with me. I had missed school and was not recommended to communicate with them, so I remember telling a tiny handful of friends about the situation with mixed responses. Furthermore, I was spending the weekend with my mum. Wondering what would happen what my future was going to be like? Nevertheless, the worst thing… it was the last night before I left.,  to Kent, and Medway Adolescent Unit, Woodland House. Moreover, Carol had ordered fish and chips. We were all gathered together, eating as a family like we always did on a Friday night. I was unsure if this was the last meal, with the people who raised me into the person I am. The people who supported me through the worst…., I could not hold back the emotions and the tears started pouring out. There was nothing I could do but let the future unfold. No surprise, but I did not sleep very well that night. In less than 24 hours, I would once again move away from the home I had settled into and this time into a downright bizarre and unknown situation. Getting admitted to Hospital [caption id="attachment_13705" align="aligncenter" width="800"] Kent and Medway adolescence hospital, (woodland House) Staplehurst Kent (KMAH), this is where the post thumbnail was taken (C) 2010 Philip Durrant Photography[/caption] Morning finally came round, and my anxiety and mood were not good at all. I remember being very silent and reserved, waiting to determine my fate after dropping off the other Foster Children at school. We started the long and painful drive to Staplehurst. (Around an hour and 20min, but it felt like a lot longer.) Stopping off to pick up Tomo (Carol's Husband, Whom We Referred to as Tomo or John (His real name) from his workplace. We finally arrived at Woodlands House (For anyone interested, Click Here For A Virtual Tour). As we walked in, the receptiongreeted us. It was an attractive layout. Not reasonably what I had expected, certainly not for being classified a hospital.

 Moreover, we approached the desk and handed over the paperwork,waiting for the team leader to arrive and assess me. After what felt like a lifetime and what seemed to be a crisis, (Someone's Panic alarm within the hospital was set off, and someone got restrained. not too long before I walked in.) We finally had a quick look round and were shown in one of the meeting rooms. The team leader and one of the nurses told me, Carol, and John, what would happen, and I have to fill in some paperwork. These were questions asking me to state out of 1-10 or how likely, or unlike me; I remember they were all ranked low at this point; I felt I could not feel any worse.  I completed it, and I led to the medical room (where anything on-site medical-wise was given). Then I was given an ECG test and had my blood taken. It was a very formal process. Also, they made notes of doctors, medication, and allergies. Furthermore, that is when we parted way. I said goodbye to my foster parents, and I was left to socialize with staff and patients Part Two - one month at Kent And Medway adolescence hospital [caption id="attachment_13704" align="aligncenter" width="604"] Photo of Li Jean-Luc Harris at Kent and Medway adolescence hospital, (woodland House) Staplehurst Kent (KMAH) - outside Shed[/caption] Introduction: By the time I was checked into the Kent and Medway Adolescent Unit, Woodland House, and the careers left me. The day had already gone. It was around 17:00, and I was given options for food. The first place I went was the lounge. Many very friendly and reassuring service users and staff started to introduce themselves to me. They were warm and gentle with their words. They could see I was very reserved and did not want to talk or do anything. I am sure every one of them had gone through the same thing. It is scary, after all. New surroundings, new faces, and new scenarios. No one can know what you have just walked into. https://lookedafterchild.com/addicted-to-drugs-and-then-homeless-and-finally-now-im-a-homeowner/ The First Night [caption id="attachment_13701" align="aligncenter" width="1024"] Sectioned under the mental health act aged 18. At Kent and Medway adolescence hospital, (woodland House) Staplehurst Kent (KMAH) - Bedroom - image taken from the Explore Woodland House Virtual Tour[/caption] After eating what I was shocked to say a delicious meal, I remember spending some time once again in the lounge for the evening before it was time for us to go to bed. As much as I wanted to crawl straight into bed, we had to follow strict guidelines. Everyone had to be awake, and out of bed by 10 am, and no one can return until 7 pm. My bedroom was lovely, it had a double bed, a desk and an ensuite but,  it still was not my bed from home. I also missed my phone, my technology, and the familiar faces from my foster home. Daily Routines My Daily Routine was very different from what I was doing back home. Breakfast between 7 am, and 9 am. Everyone had to be out of bed by 10 am. We had a few group sessions in the morning, one being education lunch between 12 and 1 pm—three more activities before dinner between 5 pm and 6 pm, and then free time. Accessing the outside world I was not allowed any technology on-site, and the only time I could use my phone or the internet was when I was on my mobile phone outside of the unit. Even in the education sessions, I was given special restrictions due to past incidents with my secondary school and me hacking into their system. So, for this reason, I was only allowed the internet on my mobile outside of the unit. (for someone who previously lived online, it sucks!) Getting Put onto a Section 2 Under The Mental Health Act [caption id="attachment_13703" align="aligncenter" width="638"] Section 2 under the mental health act Leaflet A Scanned front page of the leaflet i was given explaining the section two[/caption] I was both homesick and just witnessed a small group of patients kick off and cause a riot.

(Insert Link to Future Post) I was not enjoying my stay at Woodlands House, the therapy seemed unhelpful, and the group sessions I refused. To make things worse, I was just put onto 1:1 Eyesight, so I declared to discharge myself. And I was served a Section 2, meaning I was now forcefully detained for 28 days. Moreover, now I could not even use the internet in my free time. I was a prisoner of the system, scared and upset. This just further pushed me away from getting my issues solved. Being in section 2 meant I lost most of my rights. I was no longer allowed to use my phone. Many care decisions were now being made for me without my input; I was placed on 1:1 Eyesight as a precautionary measure. They were still unsure of many things that were going on with me, due to 4 years prior trying to fight the system, because I was too scared to let them know “The Thing” that caused me all this trauma and pain. Thankfully I had lots of like-minded people who shared their advise and looked out for each other.  1:1 Eyesight meant I now had someone follow me and was always within Eyesight, even when sleeping. Nevertheless, there was a limitation to the toilet/shower, as long as I kept talking to them non-stop. A Scanned front page of the leaflet I was given explaining the section two First Visit From my foster family When I knew Carol and Tomo were coming, I was excited. I could not wait to see the familiar faces and receive some more clothes and items to keep me going. I had missed the presence of Carol and John. It had only been a month. However, they encouraged me to carry on with the treatment, and soon I will be home again, getting back on with life. They were very encouraging and motivating, but, I could tell it was hard for them and myself. First Vist From Mum and my brother Michael This visit was long overdue. They had a very long train journey all the way from Margate to Staplehurst, but, I was so happy to see them both. We spoke for ages and caught up. The first time seeing them, I was not able to do much being on section 2 But, I was just relived to be in the company of my family. But I want care in the community! [caption id="attachment_13706" align="aligncenter" width="800"] Kent and Medway adolescence hospital, (woodland House) Staplehurst Kent (KMAH) this is where the post thumbnail was taken (C) 2010 Philip Durrant Photography[/caption] This was something many people heard me say. Additionally, it all came with the same response “But we have been offering you this for years, why now?” it was a good question. However, the shock of being in the hospital was enough for me to want to get my life on track, and continue with my life and education in the community. Nevertheless, all the professionals had said the same thing. You will not be released until you start co-operating with group sessions and therapy. Therapy Sessions Therapy sessions, we all hate them. They hurt and make us vulnerable. Something was stopping me from talking in person with anyone willing to help me. I could speak about everything, apart from “the thing”. I spoke about family, school, emotional unbalances, depression and anxieties. However, in-depth details into self-harm I locked away from everyone. Including myself, After a few sessions, I was told by Dr. Oliver that my only chance of release was to talk about these areas and let them understand and advice for future treatment/help outside of the hospital. Furthermore, I explained, although I want to talk, whenever I try, I freeze up. I get scared, vulnerable. This is when for the first time, I was recommended the following technique:“When you are in a bad place, take a pen and paper, write your thoughts and feelings, Furthermore, bring them back to me.” Moreover, when this worked, I was then tasked to do the same, but to write about “the thing…” so I set out to do this….. To Be Continued. Thanks for sticking by and reading through this story, it has been a hard one to write,

but the story is as it is… and the next part will be the conclusion to my stay at a mental health hospital. have you read some of my other posts? The Story Of My Spice Addiction The incident at school that led to my hospitalization. Addicted to drugs and then Homeless and finally Now I'm A Homeowner Part Three - How I Got Out Of Kent And Medway Adolescence Hospital And Off My Section [caption id="attachment_13700" align="aligncenter" width="1024"] Sectioned under the mental health act aged 18. At Kent and Medway adolescence hospital, (woodland House) Staplehurst Kent (KMAH) - Lounge, Facing Front Entrance - image taken from the Explore Woodland House Virtual Tour[/caption] How did I end up at Kent and Medway Adolescent Hospital Woodland House? a photo of Li Jean-Luc Harris at Kent and Medway Adolescent Unit, Woodland House Mental Health Hospital If you're asking this question, then you're new to the blog! this is a platform of therapy first discovered by me in hospital and will be discussed later on in the blog post. But before you get there. I highly suggest you read the following posts to get yourself acquainted with me. And so you know the full story of how I ended up at Kent Afnd Medway Adolescent Hospital (Woodlands House) The Incidents at School That Lead to my hospitalisation at Kent And Medway Mental Health Hospital Explore The Days Leading Up to me transferring from Foster Care To My Placement at Kent And Medway Adolescent Hospital How I become homeless aged 18 and addicted to drugs. Now Your acquainted with the past. Let's dive into the next chapter of the story. This is going to be quite a long post so grab yourself a coffee. And prepare for a rollercoaster of a story.  Therapy Sessions With Dr Oliver Continued. As previously explained, Oliver had just handed me over a piece of paper and a pen. Let's try something different. Take these and write everything that you're scared to tell. Or struggle to face. In Face to Face Scenarios. I sat and thought about it but told Dr Oliver I will try it. And that I did. I remember going to the communal areas, finding somewhere quiet, and I sat there thinking of what I could write. How do I explain it? Or if I should even try. But I did, only because I was getting desperate to get out of this place. I Started with the events leading to the situation so the psychologists Dr Oliver could get an idea of my state of mind. And then I told him about the events leading to the biggest self-harm incident that I had done. And the one that is a continuing issue even right now almost 10 years later. I keep promising you the story on "The Thing" which is this event of self-harm, but I'm still closing this chapter and will create that blog post shortly. Once i finished the agonizing reliving of my life. I posted it in his office. (On Site) and I heard nothing for a day. Until I was told I had to attend a meeting with Dr Oliver And a Medical Professional. How Did pen and paper become a therapy for you? Now I knew I could speak out and voice my concerns without facing them directly and at the moment. Allowing me more time to prepare myself for the outcome. And think of responses. So after realising the power of it. I've used it as a platform for communicating my emotions for a while until I stood up in 2017 and launched the blog to make it public. From then on, your support has allowed me to help others and realise. That my realistic goal and aim in life is to help as many people as possible whom have had a poor start in their lives. [caption id="attachment_13702" align="aligncenter" width="604"] Photo of Li Jean-Luc Harris at Kent and Medway adolescence hospital, (woodland House) Staplehurst Kent (KMAH) - Indoor Meeting Room[/caption] How Did The Professional Meeting go? - what was the outcome? Actually, I don’t know what happened prior. The Professionals would not allow me to the discussion part of the meeting and could only attend to the outcome part of the meeting, but from what I could see, it was not the best of news for me.

I was told of the damage I had caused. I was told I was lucky to survive. Or didn't have other complications, and they referred me to Maidstone Hospital For a medical examination, but I'm not yet aware I'm about to become lost in the system. I discovered later this later on in life. I tried to get out of Kent And Medway Mental Health Hospital! I've co-operated let me out! I've done as you've said, so why am I still being punished? But they set the reality. Even though after 2 months I cooperated and allowed for myself to be checked over. I still can not leave. No matter how persistent I was and then I ended up on a section 3. as guess who tried to discharge themself again. Getting Put onto a Section 3 Under The Mental Health Act Because I wanted to leave again, they placed me on a Section 3 of the mental health act. Section 3 allows for a person to be admitted to hospital for treatment if their mental disorder is of a nature and/or degree that requires treatment in hospital. And Whilst detained under Section 3, you do not have the right to refuse treatment apart from electro-convulsive treatment (ECT) which can only be given without your consent if specific criteria are met. This was because at the time they could not release me as I was still at risk and at the time they created no treatment plans. And the lead clinician was still trying to get my care sorted out back in the community.   The End of my Foster Placement With Carol And John Photo of Li Jean-Luc Harris photo taken at woodland house Kent And Medway Mental Health Hospital! I've written two posts about carol and John already. They are a massive inspiration to me wanting to work in residential child care. As well as fostering in the future. If you want to read more about their effects on my lives, you can use the following links:  My Second Foster Care Placement With Carol And John The Breakdown Of My Second Foster Care Placement       But as we know, all good things end. And I had just found out that my foster carers had to end the placement and that when i was discharged I could no longer return to this Foster placement. Sadly, this is the way social services work. As they deemed me of higher risk at this point. And that Carol And John were no longer suitable placements. This broke my heart and now meant that I would move to complete strangers again and have to build new relationships with another foster parent... (Unknown to me at the time that i no longer could go into a foster care placement...)  Discharge Papers Are In. The Big Day. I was given the discharge papers. In two weeks, I would be allowed out in the community and to get my freedom back! I was so excited about moving and being able to see my family but still not to my knowledge I've got a roller coaster to attend for the next 3 Years experiencing many 16+ Services that the wonderful Kent County Council (KCC) Social Services Had to show me. But right now i was more excited to get back to some normality. And resume with my life goals at the time.  What is Next For Li Jean-Luc Harris? Hi Everyone, what a productive couple of weeks. Both professionally and in my personal life. We've completed the Kent And Medway Mental Health Hospital Series. but this is not the end of the Blog posts in the Mental Health category. Next in Li's Story; we will talk about his other placements within Social Services. I had 4 more placements and then became homeless. I was ripped away from my foster carers, lost my rights and then told i would return to a completely new situation in life. Including Children's Homes And 16+ Transitioning Care / Semi-Independence Placements and how I spent two years in areas that I've never been too before.  How about Jump The Gaps and find out some of my future?  Addicted to drugs and then Homeless and finally Now I'm A Homeowner Spice / Legal High Addiction the Story (1/2) Thanks once again for your time and dedication to my blog. And life. See you in the next one.

[canonicallysoulmates]

Jensen Solo Main Panel Vancon 2022

Quick disclaimer: this post only covers the first half of the panel. Halfway through he got joined by MC (ofc he fucking did 🙄), and then at the last like 20mins it turned into a group panel because he was also joined by Mark Sheppard, Jake Abel, and Ruth Connell. I'm only covering Jensen's solo portion but if you wanna see the full thing there is as always a link to the full panel at the end.

Getting into the panel, Rob Benedict asked him when was he last in Van and Jensen replies that he was there recently back in August for a couple days, doing some scenes for a movie. I guess he still doesn't have clearance to say it was the Buddy Games sequel.

He also again mentions the previous night's unofficial wrap party and that it was fantastic to be able to see everyone and give out those hugs that they couldn't back when they officially wrapped due to the pandemic but that he is heartbroken Jared's not there, and he knows Jared's really bummed out, so they'll have to do it again when they come back to Van. And then when he goes to sit he turns his chair around IN HONOR OF HIS BOY HE LITERALLY SAYS "IN HONOR OF MY BOY" 😭 Then he says he has a better idea, and grabs the other chair on stage and pulls it next to his and turns it around 😭❤️

Question time! What advice would he give to newcomers on a set whether cast or crew members? To have fun. He was asked recently by one of the producers on Big Sky how he managed to go 15yrs on one show, and he replied that a lot of ingredients went into that but the one he remembers the most is the amount of laughter they had on that set. That he doesn't remember laughing harder during those 15yrs than he did when he was at work and that says a lot about the environment. That there were hard days and days when he didn't wanna get out of bed but no matter what he doesn't think that a day went by where they didn't chuckle or laugh on that set.

That's what he would say, and continues to say to people, he's even said it to those working on The Winchesters. Something he's made sure to very heavily impress upon John F. Showalter, who is currently supervising the show, is to make sure the set is having a good time and the egos are checked, to save the drama for when the cameras are rolling that there's no room for that when they're not.

If that's something he can bring to work, or encourage people to do that when they go to work then he thinks everyone will have a better time. x

How would he have wanted spn to end? He talks about what was originally planned which is that the original script before covid was everything the same up to the point when Sam arrives in Heaven but what was different is that instead of him arriving at the bridge he would arrive in a dusty parking lot in front of a roadhouse, see the Impala and walk up and Dean would come out to greet him and they would have that moment from the bridge then Dean would tell him to come inside where they would have everyone they could get from the cast and crew inside and the house band would be Kansas. And Kansas was actually on their way to set already when they got the call that they couldn't because of covid shutdowns.

That it was unfortunate they couldn't do that, they had to pivot and there was still the heartfelt moment but it would have been nice to have gotten to do it. Jensen, my love, I know you love Kansas and wanted them on the show but sometimes change is for the best. x

How did the idea for the brewery and making it a family-friendly place come to be? It was all a natural progression. It started back around '07 or '08 when craft beer was taking off, he and his brother-in-law, Gino, started making beer in the backyard and they got the itch to open a little nano brewery. In all the research that they did the thing they kept being told is to have room for growth so they got this big property and built for growth but then they thought they should have a place for kids to play because Jensen has kids and that led to them deciding that they wanted to make it a family-friendly place where people could go and have fun with the whole family. The whole time they kept calling it the Family Business because Jensen thought it was kind of tongue in cheek due to its relation to the show but also because it was just Gino and him then when they looked online they saw the name was available (meaning it hadn't been copyrighted) so they decided to make the name official. There was no grand design for it, it just happened naturally. x

Have he and Jared ever gone driving Baby around Austin because they miss playing Sam and Dean? Yes, not because they miss playing Sam and Dean but because they’re children and wanted to go fast in a car that they spend so much time in and they thought it would be great to do that; he says both the Impalas were picture cars, they're not high functioning automobiles, so now that he and Jared own them they're getting fixed up in the same shop, getting them done to where they could put them in a car show but leaving the paint job, and the squeak on the door.

They're just getting the underneath fixed, and putting things in like air conditioning and a sound system because the cars had been stripped of those things as well as anything else the boys could use to annoy the crew. I s2g he sounds like such a husband when talking about he and Jared getting their Impalas fixed together 🥰

He's excited to get their cars back so he and Jared can race them down south congress avenue...and get arrested 😂

In 15.18 if the empty hadn’t come so quickly for C, what would have been Dean’s response? Jensen stops and thinks for a minute, and says he has an answer for that and that he had an answer for that in the next camera setup after C was taken and Dean's on the floor with his head in his hands, and he did that because he lost C but he also didn't say anything. He didn't get him anything.

And what he had in his head was that he should have said I love you too and hugged him, and he knows some people might try to sexualize that in a way but it doesn't have to be that; that it was essentially two sentient beings, that who was in front of him was a family member and someone who was a brother in arms who he truly loved like a brother so Dean lost his brother in that moment and that's how he played it from Dean's perspective. They continue to fish and he continues to not fall for the bait 😈

What is his favorite story to tell his kids? At night, he makes up stories until his kids tell him he needs to leave. It's generally filled with a lot of voices so what he'll do is stand at the door and ask if there's anybody else they would like to say goodnight to and they'll come up with some name and he'll walk away and create a character from that and then go back in and play that character and tell them stories and tell them jokes. So there's not necessarily a book that he reads he just puts on a performance for them every night until they get tired of him. That's adorable x

And that's the end of the panel for me! But if you wanna see the full thing you can do so through the link below.

Jensen Main Panel Vancon

[mercifuldeaths]

Hey I saw your tags on that reblog about the Armand casting and you said that you were upset after hearing a talk by Anne. As a fellow AR hater, do you mind me asking what she said? I'm just curious, no pressure tho

Hey! oh yeah I could give you the run down. She didn't specifically say anything about Armand but...yeah, it just wasn't a pleasant experience. I'm so sorry I feel like this is going to be a whole long rant full of run on sentences--

It was awhile ago so I don't remember it all completely and totally but I do remember being disappointed that she hardly talked about the Vampire Chronicles.

She actually didn't speak all that much (maybe 20mins out of the hour or so). Her publisher (or editor? Someone from the publishing house) spoke a lot on their relationship as collaborators and Anne played into it but basically implied that she did all the hard work and only took notes when she thought it was important to. And the editor laughed and said that she stopped giving Anne notes because she knew Anne wouldn't take them.

Mostly she went off on tangents about her jesus series which didn't make a whole lot of sense to me as this was a Prince Lestat event and I personally had no interest in any of her other series except VC. And she threw quite a bit of shade at people who didn't enjoy any of her other works.

If I recall correctly this was the release day event- meaning nobody in the audience had read the book yet. We were all expecting a sort of return to normalcy in the books (not TotBT/Memnoch type plots) and she talked about how in all her previous books she was closing doors on characters and she was shutting down good things from happening, so with PL and the following books she wanted to open things up again. Which I was all for!

However, it was at this point that I think I cracked open PL just to skim for Louis (I needed to see if this poor man had at least a footnote) and I remember coming across Lestat attacking David in a forest or something? Something about it didn't sit right with me. (Totally understand that this bit was personal and had nothing to do with Anne herself or her interview but it just set the tone for the rest of the evening, I think.)

One part I have hammered into my brain is when she said how she has a separate computer screen in her office with all of the characters summaries, names, etc. SPECIFICALLY SAYING that she keeps it open to spell the characters' names correctly. Someone call my boy Daniel MOLLOY because I think he has a bone to pick.

The movie was discussed and she said that Tom was horrible but also amazing and he was fantastic but he also wasn't Lestat and didn't look enough like him but also that he had a deep respect for the material and transformed into Lestat....like. Pick a side, did you like it or nah.

OH- the more I'm writing the more I'm remembering omfg

Her editor said that she asked Anne to cut gay sex scenes because it wasn't right for the 'age' they were in. I interpreted this to mean the AIDS crisis-obviously implying that gay sex was to be avoided in literature. I understand this because at the time it was groundbreaking and could have stopped the book from getting published at all, but the fact that Anne nor her publisher would even say HIV/AIDS in the year 2014 gave me the ick. They skirted around the issue when I thought it could have been a really interesting conversation discussing publishing a 'controversial' novel. In short, they laughed off a serious issue that fundamentally changed the books and her vampire lore.

So. Her talkback alone wasn't TOO bad. Mostly boring, if I'm being honest. I just figured she had a bit of an ego and was an out of touch older woman. (This was before I had done any research on her. This was my first exposure to Anne. Oh god if I only knew what I know now lmao)

But what really made me an AR hater was how she interacted with people at the meet and greet.

I remember walking into the room and still being on line so I could watch her talk to people and take photos. Everyone there was lovely. The whole crowd was buzzing.

What charm Anne had on stage at the interview was completely gone. She was cold and really seemed like she didn't want to be there now that she had her say up on stage.

She was cold to me, but I got my signed copy and photo. I told her that the books meant a lot to me and that Lestat taught me that it's okay to be unapologetically myself at a time when I was still learning who exactly I was. No response. Ouch.

What really floored me was when my friend (who was next in line) told her how the books had been a safe haven for him and ultimately inspired him to come out. She gave a half hearted laugh and said 'as if I haven't heard that before'

I'm just happy Armand wasn't brought up because I think that would have been.....yep. And Louis's name was not mentioned- not even ONCE the entire evening.

Anywayyyy, my signed copy of Prince Lestat sits on my bookshelf still unread, collecting dust, because she put such a bad taste in my mouth.

[30somethingontumbler]

So I have developed a slight obsession with the Bucky/Sarah Wilson pairing and decided the only way to get it out of my system is to write a short angst filled fic so here it is. The idea was basically what if Hydra tried to get the winter soldier back by kidnapping someone important to him so I guess enjoy?

James Buchanan Barnes had gotten use to the constant sound of two young boys during his stays with the Wilson’s in Louisiana. The constant sound of play from his sisters while growing up had been something he didn’t even remember missing until he had woken up to AJ and Cass playing with the Shield, that first morning. They also reminded him of long summer days spent running the streets of Brooklyn with Steve the noise had become a comfort to him. That is why when he walked in the back door he knew something was wrong. He had spent most of the morning at the docks helping Sam and Carlos get the boat ready to go for it’s fist day back of shrimping season starting tomorrow. He had promised to be home by 3 to help Cass with his history presentation on the howling commandos, but when he walked in the house was silent, the boys got out of school at 2:30 and they where normally home by 2:45. Sarah had a lot of chaos in her life but the one thing she always managed was making sure they boys had the most consistent schedule known to man, the thought of her possibly running late was almost unimaginable, so where were they?

Right as he was thinking this the front door burst open, Sarah charging through and running directly to him, as she crashed into his chest he noticed her disheveled state her braids normally tied back neatly had come loose and her flannel over shirt was falling off her right shoulder, he had never seen her so distraught, her calm strength had been the thing that attracted him to her the most when he had finally gotten the courage to ask her out about a month after the flag smashers had been dealt with and he and Sam had some time to themselves, that had been almost a year ago and the only time he had seen her control even slip a bit was when Cass had gotten lost at the zoo, and that is when it hit him the silence and Sarah’s distress could only mean one thing, something had happened to the boys his boys.

“Sarah, baby what’s going on where are the boys,” he asked trying to keep his own distress out of his voice and be strong for both of them at the moment. Sarah pulled back and took a couple of steadying breaths.

“I got them from school and we went to pick up a poster board for Casses project, a car had been behind us for a while when we pulled into the dollar store but I didn’t think much of it until we parked and got out to go in and a group of men they took my babies James they took them and told me if I wanted to see them again the the soldier would return to his rightful place, Bucky they just drove off I don��t know what they meant” she said having grown more distressed as she spoke.

Bucky knew exactly what what’s happening, hydra was not gone, they wanted their asset back and they had taken his children to get him. He opened his phone and shot a text to Sam telling him to come home immediately and to bring Carlos, while he waited for Sam he tried to reassure the woman he loved that he would not let anything happen to her baby’s and that he would get them back.

It only took Sam 10 minutes to get to the house knowing when Bucky said emergency he meant it. He walked in to see Bucky on the couch his sister holding on to him for fear life and sobbing. Before he could even ask the super soldier spoke

“Hydra kidnapped the boys, they want the soldier back, I need to leave immediately”

Bucky looked from Sam to Carlos, and picking up on what was needed Carlos went to Sarah and tried to take her so that Bucky could get ready and go after hydra but she pulled tighter to him. Bucky turned to his best girl.

“Sarah baby I need you to go with Carlos I promise I will get our boys back.” He soothed

Sarah nodded her head weakly and pressed and quick kiss to the side of his mouth before letting go and allowing Carlos to take her to her room. As soon and Sarah was out of the room Bucky was out the door and in the garage, he pulled the hey off the top shelf and began to unlock the cabinet that held his tactical gear and weaponry.

“Air lift will be her in 20min what’s the plan buck,” said Sam behind him.

“The plan is I turn myself over to Hydra in exchange for the boys, they are most likely at an old base a mile outside of DC, it was off the records and abandoned but it is the closest one that would have been exposed when Nat leaked everything.”

“No, man you are not going to just give yourself over to Hydra again, I know you love the boys like your own and they are my nephews I want them back just as much as you do but we can find another way that doesn’t involve you going ack to Hydra” said Sam

“We don’t have time Sam, I know Hydra if I don’t turn myself over to them and do it fast then they will start hurting them, and I will not be the reason that they are tortured, the quicker I turn myself over the quicker they are safe, I will figure out how to get out once AJ and Cass are safe” Bucky replied with a scary calm “Sam I need you to trust me I can’t Do this without you, someone has to be there to bring them home after the exchange and it need to be you”

“What about Sarah, I know she needs you.” Sam spoke quietly hoping his friend might see reason.

“The boys are the priority right now, anyway She will get over me, and look at where being with me has gotten her. Her children kidnapped as a barging chip, they will be better off with me, if we are lucky hydra just wants to kill me so that I’m one less hero to fight them and everyone will be free of the poison of knowing James Buchanan Barnes.”

“Buck” Sam began but before he could say more the Quinn jet was landing and Clint was stepping down the ramp.

“I’m here to help how ever I can” said Clint as he met them in the yard.

“Thank you Barton,” said Bucky “ what we need is someone here to make sure Sarah is ok in case hydra decides taking the boys is not enough leverage and come for here too.”

“I can do that,” replied Clint, “Laura and the kids are flying in commercial to provide emotional support they should be here by tonight”

“Thank you Clint” said Bucky “ hopefully they boys will be back with their mother by the end of tomorrow” and with that Bucky was boarding the jet Sam right behind him carrying a shield and his suit in its case.

Chapter 2

By nightfall they were sitting outside of the hydra base waiting for negotiations, Bucky could not stay still he kept pacing back and forth waiting for hydra to make themselves known. Finally the doors opened and out walked 10 men with AJ and Cass being restrained by two very intimidating armed men.

A man stepped it from the formation the leader assumed Bucky and approached stopping about 10feet from Bucky

“Solidat how nice of you to join us” said the leader “You probably don’t remember me but you would remember my father Dr. Arnim Zola, I am Dr. Arnim Zola the second. But I am assuming you are not here to chat we will have plenty of time for that later, right now I am assuming you would like to negotiate, so here are my terms, the Wilson boys for your life and please do not assume you can trick us if you make a single wrong move I have snipers who will end the life’s of the Wilson children before you blink,” as the Dr. Zola the second spoke red lasers appeared on the boys at least a dozen from every direction, Bucky was not getting out of this it was his freedom or his children and he knew there was no choice to even make.

“Well since you have such good back up will you at least let me say goodbye to the boys before I have to give up my freedom” he said hoping he could take just a moment to let them know how much they meant o him before he would be forced back into slavery to Hydra never to see them again.

“I suppose we can give you that last request Sargent Barnes,” said Zola “release the children.”

As soon as they where no longer being man handled by the hydra agents the boys where running to Bucky as they neared him he fell to his knees embracing the little men who he had come to see as his boys, his children, they both grabbed on to him as tight as they could holding on for dear life.

“Bucky you can’t go with them, you can’t leave us” cried Cass into his shoulder

“We don’t want to loose another dad” cried AJ into his other shoulder

His boys cry’s almost broke him and for a moment he tightened his grip on them before pulling back to look in at them one last time.

“If I had a choice I would never leave you boys, and I don’t want you thinking this is your fault sometime bad people do things that we can’t change and it is not your fault,” he said hoping to give his boys one last lesson before he had to leave them forever. “Thank you for letting me be your dad, even if it was only for a little while, you boys and your mom have been the best thing that has ever come into my life,” he paused trying to compose himself, “now I need you to on do me a favor ok, I need you to tell your mom, tell her that she made me a new man and that I would not trade a second for anything and that I love her. Can you do that for me.”

The boys nodded their heads and wrapped their arms around him one more time. Bucky held them for a moment before he stood back up placing a kiss in each of their heads with a final whispered I love you before letting them go and having them run back to Sam who had stayed in civilian clothes by the request of hydra not wanting captain America to have his shield or wings to give them an advantage over the hydra agents. As soon as they were safely in Sam’s grasp Bucky turned to the hydra agents, disabled his arm and placed it behind him on the ground and slowly began to make his way toward the agents waiting to capture him.

Suddenly as of out of no ware all of the guns red dots that had been aimed at the boys and himself turned onto Zola, and out the agents all turned on each other as tendrils of red magic swirled around them and Wanda descended behind them while Zola sunk through a portal made on the ground.

“Hello Sargent Barnes it seems like you could use a bit of assistance” came the voice of Stephen Strange from his left

“Next time hydra tries to grow its heads back true giving me a call before offering yourself up on a silver platter, Barnes” came the voice of Nick Furry from his right at shield agents flooded the area taking the hydra personal into custody, a simple task thanks to Wandas mind control.

Before Bucky could say anything to either man AJ and Cass were running towards him and without hesitation he scooped both boys into his arms lifting them as if they weighed nothing. They held on to Bucky as if he would disappear if they released him Bucky made eye contact over their heads with Sam who turned to address their backup.

“Doctor, director thank you for the assist” said Sam. “You guys really showed fast, and Wanda did you learn how to voodoo so many guys at once”

All of the hydra men having been taken care of Wanda had made her way over to the group.

“The suburbs” she replayed.

Bucky looked at them all over the boys heads

“You have no idea what this means to me, thank you all of you” said Bucky “I know their is probably more we need to discuss but I need to get the boys home to their mother”

“No worries Bucky,” said Wanda “ I think we understand the need for a mother to know her children are alright” there was a sadness in Wandas eyes with that last comment and Bucky made a note to talk with the young woman once he go his family home and settled.

Chapter 3

The boys refused to leave Buckys arms for the entire ride back home on the jet and he was just fine with that, he sat with one boy on each knee there little arms thrown loosely around his neck heads resting on his shoulders, he periodically would kiss each of their heads saying a quick prayer of thanks that not only did he still have his freedom but he got to be in these boys lives even for just a little longer. When the jet landed the boys tightened their grip on his shoulders and he lifted them with the ease that the serum flowing in his veins allowed. As soon as his feet left the ramp Sarah had them all pulled into her embrace kissing each boys head before pullycas into her arms and Laying her hand on AJs back, Bucky guided them into the house and up to the boys room both boys being completely worn out and barley awake after the adrenaline had worn off on the ride back to Louisiana, Sarah placed Cass in his bed while Bucky put AJ in his placing another kiss on his head before switching places with Sarah and repeating the process with Cass, as he began to pull away from him Cass reached out his hand grabbing Buckys metal are and pulling him back.

“You will be here when we wake up right Dad?” His little voice said full of fatigue.

Buckys voice caught in his throat at being called dad for the first time and from across the room AJ added

“You won’t leave us will you dad?”

Bucky cleared his throat and looked between the boys

“Nothing in this works could make me ever leave my boys, I will be here in the morning, and as many mornings as you will have me for the rest of my days, you two are my world, I love you, now sleep boys I will see you in the morning”

Sarah and he stepped into the hall wordlessly and quietly made their way down the stairs as soon as they hit the bottom Sarah was pulling him toward her and placing a searing kiss on his mouth, pulling him flush to him he returned her kiss with just as much passion and emotion, he had almost lost everything today. And I’m that moment when he thought everything was gone he decided that if he got back to her he would ask her a question the most important question of his life. And when they finally ran out of air and had to break the kiss as soon as he has enough air he spoke

“Marry me, Sarah, marry me.”

“Bucky” she said, “you don’t have to, today was heavy don’t make a decision you might not be ready for because of a stress filled day”

“I’m not” he relayed “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, have for a while, I want to be officially the father of those two boys up there, I want to raise them together and grow old with you, and I want to marry you! I want the world to know that James Buchanan Barnes is Going to do everything in his power to protect this family and I want to call you my wife”

“If you are sure” Sarah said “ the of corse it is a yes, 100 times yes, I could not ask for a better man and I want you to help me raise our boys, you were willing to give up you freedom and your life for our children and I have every faith that you will keep us safe and love us forever so it’s a definite yes.”

Bucky could not hold his joy in he lifted Sarah into his arms and spun her around twice dropping he back to her feet he kissed her again with all the love in his heart. The next morning James Buchanan Barnes woke to the sounds of his children playing outside his window with their uncle giving he and Sarah a few more hours to sleep but Bucky simply laid in bed enjoying the feel of his fiancé in his arms and the sound of his children’s laughter coming in through the window.

Mans that’s it if you liked it please leave a comment or just drop a like thank you!

[myhauntedsalem]

14 Firefighters Share Their Scariest Paranormal Encounters

The weirdest part of the fire was the 911 call. The callers wife was in the background screaming, “you f**ked him off now, look he’s gone and burned the place down”.

With grit and determination, every day firefighters bravely put their lives on the lines for us, but it seems it’s not just the flames these brave men and women face; from haunted firehouses to ghostly apparitions. Here are 14 of the most chilling paranormal encounters and ghost stories shared by firefighters from across the United States.

1. Guardian Angel

Our firehouse isn’t haunted, at least not on a regular basis, but one of our engines is.

Two examples I have personally seen and experienced are; first, we were responding to a call in a dark, secluded, industrial area one night when the engine suddenly sputtered, stalled, and coasted to a stop right in front of a railroad crossing with no gates. Just as we stopped, a freight train came through. The engine started right up and ran fine after the train passed.

The second example happened one blazing hot summer afternoon when we were called to a highway construction site for a burning shanty. We pulled up and began advancing the handline when it suddenly seemed like the hose became tangled up in the hosebed. We went back to the engine to check, and just then the shanty blew up into thousands of tiny pieces. There were NO tangles in the hose, and it wasn’t caught or hung up anywhere.

2. Mr Jones

Our fire department is haunted by a man named Mr. Jones. The story dates back many years before we built a new station. Mr. Jones died at the old firehouse from a heart attack after battling a house fire.

A chief told me a story once: ‘I went to the restroom which was off the hallway. On my way in, I sat my brand new pack of cigarettes on the file cabinet outside of the doorway. When I came out, the cigarettes were lined end-to-end down the hallway.’

Another firefighter about a year later also had a ‘Mr. Jones Experience.’ He and another guy were watching TV one night when the clock above the TV flew off the wall, landed in the center of the room, spun around a few times, then landed on a book shelf.

All of the ‘haunted firehouse’ stories never really had me believing until Mr. Jones gave me a story of my own. I have this thing about open shower curtains. I notice when they are open and I have to close them. I had walked into the restroom to clean it but forgot a trash bag. The shower curtain was open. When I walked back in, about 30 seconds later, the curtain was closed. That is the only story that is personal. Other than that, we have doors that open and close by themselves, lights that go on and off, stuff like that. So that’s my story and I’m stickin to it.

3. Jesus Christ

About seven or eight years ago, we arrived at a townhouse with heavy fire from the first floor on side one. After making entry, locating the fire in the kitchen, and extinguishing, we set about taking out a few windows for ventilation.

After the smoke had risen, we noticed that the living area to the rear of the kitchen (which was on the right hand side as we entered) had taken significant smoke and heat damage. On the wall was a picture of Jesus Christ, and it was the only object in the room that appeared untouched. Even the wall BEHIND the picture was smoke-stained and blistered.

There was evidence of two streams of water that had trickled from the lower corners of the picture to a point in the middle of the wall where they met and continued down to the floor. The odd thing was that the line had been pulled through this room and was flowing into the kitchen to push the fire out the front, through a large vented window. No water had been flowing in the room, and the steam produced had been pushed out the window. Even the FM was amazed, and we haven’t seen anything like it since. It kinda makes one wonder.

4. Steve

We have a protector. We had a member, Steve that was killed in the line of duty during a helicopter operation. Ever since he died, members swear they can hear him in the building at night. Doors close, open, etc. without explanation. Then one night we figured out why he was there.

One of our members who has been here about 15 years now was on duty. We have bullet proof vests we keep on the units, but in a back compartment. He heard that compartment open and close. He went out into the bay and looked at it, and for some reason he took the vest out and put it in the front seat. He’d never done that before.

Next thing you know, he’s toned out to a ‘sick call’ that after his arrival was deemed a shooting. Nothing happened to him, but the point was made.

Several such incidents have occurred. Whenever something big is about to happen, a unit door opens and shuts or a bay door opens etc. We always know.

5. The Phantom Handprint

On April 18, 1924, a firefighter named Frank Leavy was washing a window at the fire station. For some reason, he paused in his work, his hand resting against the pane of glass, and he told a friend who was standing nearby that he had the strangest feeling he was going to die that day. Just then, the station received an alarm call and the fire fighters were sent to a fire that had broken out at Curran Hall, an office building in Chicago. While fighting the fire, a wall collapsed and killed eight of the firemen… Frank Leavy was one of those killed.

The next day, one of the firemen noticed something strange about the window that Frank had been washing the day before. There seemed to be an unusual stain on the glass…. and it appeared to be the imprint of Frank’s hand at the same spot where he had been leaning the day before.

They tried everything that they could, but they could find no way to erase the strange handprint. It seemed to be etched into the glass!

An expert from the Pittsburgh Plate Glass company brought a special solution to the fire house, guaranteeing that it would remove the print, but it didn’t work. Over the years, there were suggestions that the pane of glass be removed, but many of the firemen argued, saying that it was not right to fool with the unknown. Besides that, it was a reminder, albeit a grim one, of their dead friend. And there was no doubt that the handprint belonged to Frank Leavy! An official from the city had come down with a fingerprint comparison and the prints matched those of Frank’s. For the next twenty years, the handprint defied all explanation and was a common attraction to visitors and other firemen from around the city.

Finally, on the morning of April 18, 1944 a careless paper boy tossed the morning edition at the fire house and shattered the window where Frank’s handprint had been.

It happened exactly twenty years to the date of when Frank Leavy died!

6. “You F**ked Him Off Now”

There was a fire about 6-7yrs ago. The call was weird from the start, the 1st due engine didn’t want to start (it was out on a run bout 20mins before) they get there, the house was fully involved. When they got there, the fire was burning in strange ways… at one point flames were shooting out a window, and taking a ninety degree turn upward. The investigator pictures show the face of the devil in the smoke and flames. I know it sounds BS, but I have seen a few of these pics, and have talked with some of the investigators. They were saying that the basement was rocking, when they went back the next day it looked as though nothing burned downstairs.

The weirdest part of the fire was the 911 call. The dispatcher said the callers wife was in the back ground screaming, “you f**ked him off now, look he’s gone and burned the place down”. These people were said to have been Satan worshipers, everyone in the Dept. is afraid to even go on that road for calls. Incidentally the name of the road is “Angel Hill” hmmm, pretty weird.

7. Footsteps

I worked for a department that had lost a few members in its time. Over the course of the first few months I was there, I noticed strange noises in the bay. Once, I walked in the front door only to hear the back door slam. I walked back to see who it was, and when I opened the back door, no one was there. There was fresh snow on the ground and no tracks.

Another time I went down to the bay in the middle of the night. I heard distinct footsteps walking around one of the rigs on the other side of the bay. I called out but no one answered. I got spooked and crept around the bay with an axe trying to find the intruder. No one there! I also got a really spooky feeling a few times when I was alone in the bay by the back door. Later, I happened to mention to the chief that I had heard some weird stuff in the station at night. He got a strange look on his face and said ‘Let me guess… footsteps behind Engine 3 and a creepy feeling by the back door!’ I got the same story from one of the captains, about hearing footsteps and all that. Guess someone’s still hanging around…

8. The Station in The Woods

Back at my old department before I moved to my current one I was assigned to the farthest southern station by myself with a single engine. The area was in a heavily wooded area of the district. At night it got extremely dark in that area, more so than the other areas of the dist. There were a lot of one lane dirt and paved roads as well as a few meth labs, and no police coverage.

I had had several occasions that I would hear dogs barking at a house near the station, and hear sounds outside the station like thumping noises, usually after 1 AM. I would go outside to look and no one would be there. These noises went on for about a week. Once I had a friend from another station come down to visit me but I was gone, he got scared off when he heard five loud bangs on the wall near the kitchen, of course he failed to tell me this. Another night I was in bed and saw a shadow outside my window walking in the flower bed. The shadow passed my window and then the person kicked the door near the bay. I crawled out of bed and called 911, while I was on the phone the person busted out the bedroom window, half scared shitless I ran to the engine and bailed north to another station with a higher staffing level. The PD responded and 45 minutes later searched and deemed the station safe.

I soon after moved from that station and it is no longer staffed even now 3 years later. I found out from a B/C later on that a previous FF had been attacked in the parking lot washing an engine, and that the station had had several other weird occurrences happen since it was built.

9. The Hose Tower Hanging

I too have heard of the strange noises that occur inside many of our firehouses.

We have a firehouse that late at night, you can hear chains rattling at the top of the hose tower. When you turn on the light and climb the ladder to the platform at the top of the tower, nothing is there. The rumor has it that back in the 50’s a probationer hung himself in the hose tower and wasn’t discovered for a week.

10. The Old Capt.

The oldest station in Lex., KY, is haunted, according to some of the old heads, by an old Capt. who died while on duty in his sleep on Christmas Eve in the 1940’s. He is said to have sat in an old cane bottomed rocking chair, that chair was put in the attic of the station after his death, where it is still heard to be rocking on occasion.

Chiefs have gotten calls from neighbors who were mad because they could see a fireman looking out of the upstairs window, but no one would answer the door. This usually happens when the engine company was out on a fire run or training. Engine started by itself and backed in to the wall one night (std. trans.). Some of the guys who have worked there would not even go in the house alone on payday to pick up their pay checks if the co. was out.

11. The Ouija Board

A fire company that I used to belong to is quartered in a building built in the 1930’s and it is unquestionably haunted. Odd things happen regularly such as bathroom stall doors being locked from the inside, tv and lights turning on and off, footsteps across the floor, yelling when nobody else is there, etc… A few members decided to bring in an Ouija board one night and see what they could find. It turns out that there are two ghosts, one is a past chief and the other is a small boy that used to live in a row of miner’s houses that has long since been torn down.

The chief confirmed his identity by naming other long dead members (so long dead that we had to dig back 50 years in the company’s records to even find their names!). The chief generally drags chairs around the meeting room at night and yells at members while the boy is constantly bouncing his ball on the upstairs floor. All of this only happens at night.

12. The Indian Arrowheads

My father’s volunteer fire company also found Indian arrowheads while they were digging for an addition to the firehouse back in the 50s, but they also unearthed cannonballs and buttons. If my memory is right, some expert said that the cannonballs were from the American revolution and that the buttons were from a Hessian soldier (Hessians were mercenaries that the British used against Washington’s army). BUT – strange things began happening while those items the firemen dug up were in the firehouse.

First off, anyone that touched the items got very ill with high fevers and rash. The guys that actually dug up the items were very bad off; and their feet became swollen and turned black and blue. The door to the firehouse would also swing open just as someone approached, and the doors to the huge cast iron firehouse oven would open and close all by itself. Someone in the company said that they should bury the items; put them back in the ground – and when they did everyone got better, and all the strange things stopped happening.

13. The Fortune Teller

My firehouse has had a run of strange happenings over the years also. Many of us have actually seen a misty figure move through the rec room and out to the apparatus room. Some of the crews have seen the figure together, others have seen him when they were by themselves. The usual doors swinging, chairs moving upstairs, people walking across the floor or up and down the stairs happens occasionally.

The really scary part was when a friend of a friend stopped by the firehouse with her kids for a tour. This woman practices tarot card readings, fortune telling and the like. She had never been in the firehouse before and had never known about any of the instances in the firehouse. After the tour she asked me if the firehouse had “guest appearances” often. I thought she meant the kids and said that we often have children take tours of the place. She corrected herself and asked if we had ever seen ghosts, I said, maybe-I’m not sure. She described our misty figure from head to toe exactly as he appears and said she had seen him. Do I believe, probably not much more than I had before that day but I don’t doubt anything.

14. Standing Behind Me

This story takes place in Fayetteville, NC and the department I used to work for there. When I was assigned to Engine 2, I had heard all kinds of stories of it being haunted. Footsteps, doors opening, writing on the wall, and even a sighting are all the things I was told about.

I heard some things once in a while but the one time I was really spooked happened in late 2000. I was lying in bed, about 2 am when I heard footsteps approach my bunk and stop behind me, between my bed and the wall. The first thing I thought was that I had slept through a call but then I saw that my LT was still asleep and I noticed the radio was quiet. I could feel someone standing beside the bed and as much as I didn’t want to I slowly turned and looked to find that there was no one there.